#i also think crowley fucks but he brings kind of a different vibe to it

[mommyashtoreth]

topic: people in this fandom who genuinely believe in innocent smol uwu bean aziraphale who's never even heard of sex are fucking idiots

I'm just saying that someone is not that much of a prissy European nerd during the 18th and 19th centuries without visiting some kind of Enlightenment Salon Of Free Thinkers that is really just a front for some nasty gay sex. Or that much of a prissy European nerd during the Renaissance. Or that much of a gayboy hanging around Roman bathhouses or whatever. What I'm saying is Aziraphale fucks. I'd even argue you see people in the show who want to fuck him. You'd be surprised how much of a gateway to sex being a mega nerd can be

[mlobsters]

s6e20 the man who would be king (w. ben edlund)

guessing we're making a sharp turn back to the main plot with this recap of depressing events. gotta deal with darkside!cas seems like

the hangdog body language made me cackle. so over the top, my guy. that little montage and speech about all the things he's seen was.. something. okay, so. from this it sounds like they broke the chains of destiny forever by changing how the lucifer/michael thing went down?

the vibe in this episode is really odd. the conversation in the car with dean and cas (and sam is off elsewhere), the music playing in the background like crowley's listening to a stereo while he has a spat with cas

okay. of course bondage man being tortured back there is shirtless and ripped

so ugh. cas brings back sam, sees sam not go to dean right away and makes the frowny face but like. that's not a big red flag? or it is but he's just not gonna follow through? did he really not know until he soulfisted him or was he lying because he fucked up?

CROWLEY Am I the only game piece on the board who doesn't underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares?!

haha what an insult

man. dean gets to bobby's right when bobby and sam are about to do more torturing of this demon guy and part of me flinched worried that they'd make dean do the torturing

DEAN He is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven! He can make a mistake!

a perfect strangers reference?! LOL i mentioned it when trying to figure out who the actor playing gabriel reminds me of (was thinking not of balki but actor who played larry) i swear jackles's accent has been popping out a little more lately and i am a fan

DEAN You think that Cas is in with Crowley. Crowley?

something something sam putting his faith in demon ruby and getting burned, dean putting his faith in angel cas and getting burned

BOBBY But if we ain't...If there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here...that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we've got to be cautious, we got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite.

DEAN (to Sam) This makes you Lois Lane.

how's that now? wouldn't you be the lois lane, dean?

go from action!cas to hangdog!cas licketysplit. smite some demons!! i did it for the boys. or myself ;(

DEAN No, you talked. I listened. This is Cas, guys. I mean, when there was no one... and we were stuck - and I mean really stuck - he broke ranks. He has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freakin' times. This is Cas! Don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least?

this is painful. something really needles me about dean being the only one who is fighting to stay loyal to who's supposed to be a purely good man/angel. him being in the wrong, but like he's just too good of a man, not because he fucked up. struggling to put it into words. but it comes back to that feeling about sam always being the fuckup that needs absolution i mentioned before too. and then dean's the one that figures it out, when cas is lying to their faces (and i think that was a clumsy way to have cas slip up, i think he'd know better but eh)

CROWLEY I know of two eerily suited 'Teen Beat' models with time on their hands.

i like that they're showing us hell. beetlejuice purgatory having the take a number thing is kind of cute reference.

beetlejuice (1998)

intercom droning and fuzzy blue danube in the background also a good touch (i feel like blue danube is so familiar it can lose its punch but it's so sweet and delightful have a listen to the vienna philharmonic orchestra in 1999)

DEAN Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it... Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil!

CASTIEL It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?

DEAN I was there. Where were you?

i mean this is different but it's also exactly the same as sam with ruby? and trying to push the same emotional buttons, but cas is around like, 30% of the time and they keep talking like him and dean have this close connection but we never really see it onscreen? so i'm left feeling like... um, okay? it's odd.

meanwhile this little frenemy situation is very sparky. was like hey you gonna give him a little kiss now? but sheppard also is so charismatic as crowley, i feel like he brings chemistry to every scene with every actor

because i complained, we get a meaty scene with dean and cas where dean basically tries to big brother him like telling sam to quit the demon blood/ruby

DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it.

CASTIEL I don't understand.

DEAN Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something... you got to trust me, man.

CASTIEL Or what?

DEAN Or I'll have to do what I have to do to stop you.

i'm still not terribly clear how the souls get used, but all right. going with my matrix battery metaphor and not thinking too hard beyond that. cas calling out all desperate for a sign from god that he's on the right path but like. free will is a bitch?

[twistedwonderlandsimps]

Older!Yuu

I'm just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, Older!Yuu brainrot!

Honestly? I just wanted to make Crowley a simp and it escalated.

Anyway, Older!Yuu who’s always exhausted, gives weird life stories that may or may not be true, gives oddly good advice, and mostly has no fucks to give anymore.

Also has that dilf/milf/pilf vibes going on, even with or without children.

Then again, it doesn’t even matter if they have children or not cause they’re going to end up adopting majority, if not all, of the school, anyway.

Yuu wakes up in the coffin, pauses to take in where they were, and then curses.

“Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that expired milk…”

They initially think they’re dead and just spend a few minutes in the coffin chilling and thinking of things like, “At least I get to go free from the family reunion, that’s something…”, “Jannet’s baby’s ugly. Are babies supposed to be that wrinkly? Maybe I should’ve gifted them an anti-wrinkle cream on the baby shower instead…”, and “Damn, I should’ve had Matt pay me back the money he owed me in high school had I known I was going to die. That asshole always somehow conveniently forgets to bring any money with him whenever we meet...”

That is until they heard a voice outside the coffin and see the coffin’s lid being pushed aside to meet face to face with… a cat.

“Whaaaaaaa!!!! Why are you up?!”

“You know, I’m wondering the same myself…”

So, anyway, Yuu ends up running from the flaming cat and notices that instead of being in the purgatory, they look more like they’re in school.

They were so busy trying to figure out where they were that they bumped into Crowley and the two fall on the ground in a pile.

Cue Crowley, simping at first sight.

“Why, I didn’t know we were having visitors today! And quite a lovely one, too!”

Cue Yuu, staring deadpanned at the crow.

Grim comes barreling around the corner, yelling about giving him the clothes and Crowley notices that Yuu is wearing a ceremonial robe that the students wear in the entrance ceremony.

Enter confusion and a, “You’re a student?”

“What? No? Well, I sure hope not. I barely lived through school with just coffee, pure spite, and being awake at 3 in the morning. I’m not sure I can handle another one.”

So Crowley ended up binding Grim with his whip, thinking that he was Yuu’s unruly familiar while he asked them to follow him to the ceremony hall and hopefully shed some light on what they were doing in the NRC.

While on the way there, he orients them on where they were and Yuu realizes that no, they aren’t in purgatory where they have to go to school all over again, they were in a place called Twisted Wonderland.

They arrive in the hall and Crowley apologizes for the hold up, there were just some unsuspected events that will hopefully be resolved soon.

Yuu sees the student body and goes, “Is this a cult? This looks like a cult. A very high functioning cult from the looks of it.”

Cause honestly, they’re wearing robes to an entrance ceremony. Ceremonial robes.  I don’t know about anyone else but ceremonial robes as the official clothing for an entrance ceremony is not what I would consider proper in a normal school. Well, normal-ish anyway. I would understand if it was just a simple robe, but they have hoods.

Crowley splutters and tries to explain that no, they weren’t a cult, they were a school. Officially and legally.

Yuu’s just like, “Hey, look, it’s alright. You don’t have to explain. We’ve all been there before.”

“… What exactly kind of school have you been in?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

So, anyway. The freshmen all get led to their dorms and since without Yuu being announced as unsortable, Grim wasn’t able to break free and cause havoc.

Crowley checks to see the mirror about Yuu’s situation. As usual, the mirror said that their world doesn’t exist and that they can’t bring them back.

While Crowley’s shocked, Yuu began talking, “Yeah, well, I figured that much seeing all the floating coffins, the magic mirror, the flaming cat, the cult-”

“It’s not a cult...”

 “-and you. I mean, I thought you were a cosplayer at first. I’ve met really scarily dedicated cosplayers and I’ve seen what they can do. Well anyway, magic doesn’t exist in my world, if you’re wondering. Also, I think there’s a term for this kind of thing happening where a person gets sent to another world? It’s very popular with teens back in my world but I never really had the time to check it out.”

So, after some research and confirmation later, it was found out that Yuu truly came from another world.

And then they were given a job at the school as the odd-job person/janitor because Crowley’s so gracious.

Yuu also managed to convince Crowley to let Grim a shot in being a student of the school, volunteering to look after him and taking responsibility for any trouble that happens.

Once Crowley went away to get supper, Grim approaches Yuu and asks why they would advocate for him even when they didn’t know each other.

Yuu just shrugs and casually says, “Sometimes, we don’t know have to know each other to have a reason to do something good. Sometimes, it just happens. ‘Sides, you look like you really wanted to become a student here. You could say I was in a similar position as you were back then. Why, I remember the time when I was your age, more or less anyway, I met this person. Knew absolutely nothing about them at all and you may be thinking, did I know the concept of stranger danger? Well, no, I was a stupid kid back then but…”

Yuu’s stories always catch Grim’s attention and he likes to sit by them whenever they tell one, sometimes interjecting his own thoughts in between.

“-so, I joined this protest even when I didn’t really know anything about it. They handed out free t-shirts, you see, and I wanted a free shirt so I was like, “let me get in on this”, and then the next thing I knew, I was in jail.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, well, we all are at times.”

So, anyway, the ghosts appear, Yuu’s immediate reaction was to grab Grim and books it out of the house, meeting Crowley who was about to enter the gate.

Thankfully Crowley explains the situation to them and they go back inside to three sheepish ghosts.

Yuu and the ghosts hit it off, exchanging stories and stuff but Grim still looks wary of them. It must be a cat thing.

Yuu has already adopted Grim without either of them even knowing it. And he won’t be the only one.

So the next day, the two head over to the Main Street where the statues were to clean it.

Grim’s a trial student so he has to help Yuu with cleaning until he can prove himself to not cause any trouble but he still gets to attend classes.

Ace arrives and gives exposition on the Great Seven, then proceeds to taunt both Grim and Yuu. Basically the same thing happening in the storyline happens.

“Brats, calm down.” Yuu casually says from the side, unbothered, while still cleaning statue which makes Grim stand down but he’s still dissatisfied.

Grim harrumphs, goes besides Yuu and starts to help them clean.

“So in the end you weren’t allowed to enroll here and now work as janitors? Haha, pathetic.”

“Oi, brat. Are you looking down on janitors? If there’s one thing in life I’ve learned, don’t ever demean the work someone puts in their job, whatever it may be, and as long they don’t hurt someone.”

Okay, so, Yuu may be slightly intimidating.

“Well said, Mx. Yuu!”

Here comes Crowley who gives detention to Ace but only a minor one like staying back in class and writing a reflection paper instead of cleaning 100 huge, ginormous windows around the campus.

He then shoos both Ace and Grim to their classes.

“Well, since they’re off, would you care to get coffee after you’re done?”

“Not really. I have to go back to Ramshackle and clean it. That place is still a mess.”

So anyway…

Grim and Ace might not have gotten detention together but the chandelier breaking even still happened.

Mostly because Ace blamed Grim for him getting detention and they managed to also pull Deuce with them when the two fought.

Yuu hears about this when they went looking for Grim to deliver him his lunch.

Along the way Yuu tells them stories of their youth which was odd enough to feel like a fever dream but detailed enough to be believable.

“-and that’s why you should never go to an abandoned back alley at 2 in the morning to try and see if mothman exists cause all you’ll see is disappointment… and possibly a naked old man.”

“Wait-- what was a naked old man doing there?!”

“That’s what I’m still wondering for all these years.”

Well, anyway, they go to the Dwarfs’ Mine, fight the overblot, and win.

It was kind of dramatic since they saw Yuu falling to the ground and the others thought that they got hurt in the fight.

Nah, they just have back pains.

When the trio heard this, they sighed in relief. Grim climbed up to Yuu’s shoulder and took the spot there as usual.

“Oi, you brat, I’m old, get off me.”

“You’re not that old.”

“Shut up, listen to your elderly.”

Also, since the events that happened in the mines, Ace and Deuce starts crashing in Ramshackle which was turned into a dorm and had Yuu dub as the Dorm Leader despite not being a student.

“Why do you brats keep crashing here, anyway? Grim’s the only one who lives here. Don’t you have homework to do?”

“We like your place.”

“Brats. Anyway, there are snacks in the pantry if you get hungry. Don’t give Grim, though. He’s grounded cause he ate all of my favorite yesterday.”

Crowley planning a romantic candlelit dinner in Ramshackle with Yuu, only to be foiled by the braincell group all the time. It’s because they start having dinner with Yuu in Ramshackle.

Ruggie hearing about Yuu feeding students who keep crashing into Ramshackle and decides to shamelessly invite himself in.

Yuu preparing dinner and pausing when they see an extra person sitting in the dining table.

“Who are you?”

“Ruggie Bucchie.”

“…Alright, then. I hope you aren’t picky with your food.”

And that’s how Yuu gained another child. Yuu didn’t adopt him but Ruggie was the one who adopted Yuu.

It doesn’t even stop there. People just started inviting themselves into Ramshackle for dinner with or without Yuu’s permission after they finish their overblotting arc.

Trey has a weekly baking session with Yuu and they try different kinds of recipes.

Riddle visits occasionally to try and exchange teas and tarts with Yuu.

When Jack joins the braincell group, he’s the one who keeps the others in line and keep them from doing stupid things.

Guess who Yuu’s favorite child is...

Yuu seeing Epel getting bullied, chases the bullies off, pats Epel’s shoulder, and gives them a gentle smile but the words that come out of their mouth isn’t a single bit gentle, “The next time they try to do that again, punch them. As hard as you can. Life is a battlefield and you can’t always let yourself get trampled on or else they’ll think you’re an easy target and bother you even more.”

“But I’m going to get in trouble if I do that!“

“You have the advantage of looking harmless and innocent. Use that and make their lives a living hell.”

Rumors start popping up of Epel getting in fights and decimating campus bullies left and right but pffft, who would believe that? Epel? That guy who looked like he’d fall with just one blow of the wind? Yeah right, those bullies must be hallucinating.

Meanwhile, Yuu’s standing at the side, cheering Epel on. “You’re doing great, kid!”

Rook is similarly cheering for him but from afar.

Vil knows what Epel’s doing and though he’s a bit exasperated, as long as those bullies can’t prove Epel did it, he’ll turn blind eye to it.

Yuu seeing the Octavinelle trio for some reason among the people in their dining room after Azul’s overblot arc and recalling another story in their youth.

“You know, they always remind me of the mafia. Why, I remember that there was this one time, well… multiple times actually, I had a run in with the mafia. I’m not saying that any of it was my fault buuuuut…”

Speaking of overblots,,,

Someone: overblots

Yuu: “Now listen here, young man. We are going to have a talk about you and your tendency to bottle up your feelings-”

Lilia and Yuu exchanging stories of their youths and everyone who’s nosy enough to listen to it becomes weirded out cause it sounds surreal but seems like it would actually happen to them.

Malleus keeps visiting Ramshackle with a miniature gargoyle gift and Yuu decorating Ramshackle with it.

This was apparently a signal for everyone to start gifting Yuu stuff that they can decorate Ramshackle with and now Ramshackle looks like a mix-match of different dorms.

Yuu also already prepared guest rooms for all of them in case they want to stay the night.

*sobs* I just want them to have a proper adult parental figure they can rely on, validate them, and feel safe with okay??? They deserve it!

Also Yuu going, “It does not matter what your skillset is. As long as you try, that is good enough. We all have our flaws and that’s okay! The only thing we have to do is be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be.” (CallMeKevin, 2020)

[ineffablebookgirl]

psychoanalyzing Aziraphale and Crowley through the ages instead of doing my research project that's due next week. pt. 5: Knights of the Round Table / Wessex

This interaction is kind of a drawn-out mirror of their very first interaction on the wall. Aziraphale has done something under his own volition, which he knows goes against what he's supposed to do. And then he backpedals to try to course-correct.

In Eden, he was grappling with giving away the sword. Here, in a damp field in Wessex, 500 years after hitting on Crowley in a pub in Rome, he is trying to stay on the straight and narrow (haha straight lol). He wanted to hang out with Crowley, and he sure as heck made that happen under his own volition and it definitely was not a Heaven-approved activity.

Now, when they meet, there's a familiarity. This is the first glimmer of their "old married couple" vibes. Who knows what happened at Petronius's place, or if they've had other dinners together since then (my guess would be yes) (except maybe not -- more on that later). But they clearly have some kind of stock of each other.

This is when Crowley first suggests the Arrangement to Aziraphale. Crowley is no longer just teasing Az about being a questionable angel, he's trying to get something out of Aziraphale -- something that benefits him, yes, but also a step forward in their relationship. A more explicit acknowledgement of the reality of their roles, not just the company line.

Crowley isn't the grumpy emo teenager we found in the pub in Rome, but he's also not the carefree old-testament imp with the flowing locks anymore. He's settling into the personality we see in the modern day, the "Eh, fuck 'em, let's do it our way and just do the bare minimum to not get noticed," the forced casualness that he wraps himself in to protect himself from the sharp bitterness of the pain he sees God cause.

And Aziraphale is also settling into his modern personality as well. His guard is up. He's keeping his head down and doing his job, tromping around in the mud to foment peace for King Arthur because that's part of the Ineffable Plan, I guess, don't worry about it just get it done so I can go home to a jug of red and a nice illuminated manuscript in front of the fire.

He also has adopted his patented Aziraphale Radiant Smile, the Kill Them With My Polite Englishness Smile, and maybe that's part of his armor too. He knows he's harming humans, he knows he's working for Amazon Corporate, but he has bills to pay. But dammit if he isn't going to bring a little bit of sunshine and joy to the day of every last human he encounters along the way. Whether they like it or not.

But... back to the question of whether they've hung out between Rome and now. The thing that trips me up is that Aziraphale deadnames Crowley. In Rome, he accidentally starts with Crawley, but he corrects himself immediately. Here, he just addresses him as Crawley, and Crowley has to correct him. So maybe they haven't run into each other since Rome. 500 years is a long time. It's feasible Az forgot. Or, he does it deliberately, to try and redraw the lines, go back to a version of their relationship before all this familiarity built up, a version of Aziraphale who knew his place and got on with it, and a version of Crowley who knew Aziraphale's place and teased him for it. Not this Crowley who suggests working together, who insinuates they have more in common with each other than with their head offices. Not this Crowley who knows him. Knows that the best way to get Aziraphale's cogs turning is to point out how uncomfortable the work is, how much more quickly he could get back to the fire and the wine and the book if he worked together with Crowley ...

Everything was different in Rome, and this meeting is Aziraphale going oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit and running in the opposite direction, for the first time, but not the last.

(I think they both have their own versions of this pattern, of getting a little closer, a little more vulnerable, and then overcorrecting to reinforce their defenses against that vulnerability. More posts to come!)

Final note: this is the only time they meet by accident. I'm not sure what that signifies, but Douglas MacKinnon said, "Everything is meant," so it must mean something. 🤔

[phynali]

another post about the secret good supernatural that lives in my brain

where’s that interview or convention quote from mark sheppard about how he wishes Rowena had been Crowley’s ex-wife instead of mother?

i absolutely love Rowena and Ruth O’Connell did an incredible and fantastic job with bringing her to life, but i do feel like that’s the world’s most Valid critique. 

and i kind of get that the show’s later seasons really like to dabble in the parenthood narratives, with Rowena, with Mary, with the Jack storyline, with Lebanon. what does it mean to be a mother/father/parent, and how do we do the best by our kids? what happens when we fuck up? what happens when we’re selfish? how do experience being a person and a parent when those are in conflict?

but i don’t see how making rowena into crowley’s mother really added to any of those conversations, tbh. 

if anything, them as exes would give a lot more weight to her, y’know, killing her (other) son at the end of s10. obviously she’s got this “i hate that i can’t hate you i hate that i love you” maternal thing with crowley but what if she was killing her son and crowley was thinking about the kid crowley had all those years ago who also gets resurrected when rowena is around and who crowley has to let go of, right? i mean what if that was both their kid? what if they had to mutually watch him die? what if that’s why they hated each other in the first place? what if crowley made that stupid childish deal he did just to punish himself for rowena leaving him after their son died and he blamed himself and meanwhile rowena went and got herself invested in witchcraft in a vain and failed attempt to bring their kid back and everything about them went to shit - 

god, i want this so badly now?

and i see why they might not have wanted to reduce all their stories to siblings or lovers, why other dynamics keep things fresh, but i think exes who still get along but also can’t stand one another but also love one another but are never, ever getting back together and that’s for the best but also if you lay a finger on him i’ll kill you only i get to kill him - 

well i just think that’s a bit more interesting than what we got? especially with lucifer thrown in the mix and the obvious infidelity feelings. right now lucifer and rowena reads as abusive romance but they didn’t lean into any paternal dynamic between lucifer and crowley, like it’s just pure debasement on an equal level, and they obviously just did not know or were too afraid to tap the very disturbing familial parallels they could have setup there so why even paint themselves into that corner? 

why not setup lucifer and crowley as romantic rivals, neither of whom actually want rowena or a relationship but both of whom play tug-of-war with the loyalty and allegiance of women because they’re awful people (devils, literally) and why not have rowena’s narrative involve rejecting all of that bullshit and overcoming the inherent misogyny. not to say there’s not some of that in her maternal storyline as well but it’s - empty? in comparison (by which i mean delivery). and much better explored with mary in s12.

and the samwena vibes would be so fascinating!! if rowena was crowley’s ex the show might have actually dug into crowley and sam’s super interesting and massively under-explored dynamic because the weird jealousy and territorialness would be so goddamn fun!! 

“no i don’t want to be with her but no she is not allowed to flirt with you what the hell do you mean you’re the one destined to kill her oh fucking no you aren’t that is my job she broke my heart and i am the king of hell, not you mr boy-fucking-king-who-abdicated so you will pry the right to kill her from my cold dead demon hands i will save her life just so you don’t get to kill her you bastard - “

come on! 

right now samwena and crowley was super under-explored as it is, and at minimum we 150% deserved crowley being cheeky with sam for having chemistry with his mother and sam being a little flustered/unsure how to respond while inevitably sassing crowley back. please. it would be so weird. you cannot convince me that the crowley we know and love wouldn’t have deliberately flirted with mary just to see sam’s eye twitch and for dean to break a tooth by tensing his jaw too hard. i mean it wouldn’t work because mary hates demons almost as much as sam but it would be in character and it would delight me, personally.

anyway i also saw someone else comment that when rowena was introduced the witchcraft in the show went from super fucking dark (how it was introduced to the show in kripke era, then left mostly untouched in s6-9) to pretty purple sparkles and tbh that’s so true and also dull? like rowena was legit introduced in the process of reading a book and drinking tea (or wine?) while two guys bled out slowly on her ceiling held up by her dark af magic and by the end she’s just ...  doing spells that sam and dean have no moral compunctions about using? dabb do you know what horror is as a genre why did you change the genre of this show in its final 3 seasons? why did we not get to retain the dark and demonic aspects of witchcraft? 

i am so disappointed at how they watered down so many different things with rowena and final note she absolutely should have fucked sam literally any other character behind the bookstacks except gabriel omg.

[the-messedup-priorities-so-far]

sticker fic:

brought to you by the sticker ficcers, @xojo​ and @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover​.

the narrated version:

"Morning, Sunshine." Says Dean. "Some coffee?"

"SCREW YOU." Says Sam. His glorious hair is wet.

"How dare you!" Says Dean. His mouth's the O-shape of offense. He's also putting on the dead guy robe for some reason.

"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!" Sam bitchfaces. In his eyes, is a glint which says, as he does - blah, blah, blah, blah. Then, he casts down his gaze. "Well, you are kinda butch."

Dean's eyes widen. His eyebrows don't rise. Instead of surprised, he looks shocked. Then he smirks, and quickly grows a stubble. With completely black eyes, he says. "I'm a demon."

Crowley appears, smirking. "Hello, boys."

"ASSBUTT." Castiel bellows. 

No one had known he was there.

"What's wrong with you?" Says Crowley, after quickly growing a stubble as well.

Castiel folds his arms. It makes the trenchcoat look fitted. You know, like a liar.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks, tucking his hair behind his ear at supersonic speed. No one knows when it happened. But he's Sam Fucking Winchester, so they know it did.

"I don't know!" Dean scratches his ear. He does not know the question was for Castiel. He makes his eyes as sad as they can be - and they can be impressively sad. One eyebrow strays up, floating on a cloud of misery. "I never was."

Sam looks alarmed in a V-neck. 

This is important information. Absolutely integral.

"Cat's out." Says Cas. He's rude, because his lips do a rude thing. And because of what he said. His eyes mock tragedy.

"Shut your face." Dean points. Pointing is rude. He does it anyway. While he does it, Sam grows bangs. "Oh god."

He lies down on the floor.

"Don't say that to me." Says Sam, with dimples of depression. He buries his face in his hands. Must feel pretty, the author conjectures.

"Come on." Dean says. He's frowning, and on a park bench. He looks closer with concentration and develops a double chin. Then he gels his hair really quickly and adds. "You look like a baby."

"SCREW YOU." Says Sam. His hair is wetter. His head is wet as well. Then he dries it with a whoosh no one notices, and looks away in disdain. He is in an open collared shirt. The author hopes you take note of these plot points carefully.

Dean shrieks.

Dean cries at a mirror.

Dean scowls, unimpressed. Ironically, his scowl is impressive. Moreover, it deages him.

Cas shrieks too. His eyes scream horrifiedness. His nostrils flare. You could see his molars, if you tried. The author tries.

Dean looks at a corner. "I don't even care anymore."

Charlie pokes her head out of a yellow car. Not enough is visible to be ugly, but readers are advised to assume it's ugly. "What's up bitches?" She's wearing a seatbelt. Gays are awesome.

"Kind of in the middle of something." Says Dean. His forehead has creases which have no right being pretty. They're pretty.

"I know. I was surprised too." Says Cas.

No one knows what he means.

Sam, suddenly lit in a green light, shows that he doesn't know what he means. He doesn't wait for an explanation, and raises his hand. "That's enough, uh yeah, thanks."

Sam is rude, beautifully.

The author is very helpful with pointing out plot points, as ever.

"You done?" Says Claire and her french braid.

Chuck is there now. He has an extremely white mug. It could have coffee inside. It could also have poison. The author does not identify as a journalist, and is not required to be unbiased.

"Do you have any bacon?" Says Chuck. He has curls. They hide the evil under.

"No." Jack says, blank faced for some reason. "You back off. Old man."

"Back off." Says Sam, in a slightly greater font size. One (1) lock of hair strays from his perfect mane, and falls on his face. It's still perfect, the author assures. Then Sam quickly gets shot, and his forehead pierced with metal rods. It's clearly for the vibe. Because Sam says, "I will destroy you." He does not say it periodlessly.

"Yeah. That's right." Says Jack. He pouts, because he's right. He can, because he's Jack.

Sam looks proud of him with a spotted blue tie and shiny, conditioned hair.

The author loves him very much.

part two, if you're the kind of person who wants it:

Rowena purses her lips, ending up with dimples of discontent.

"Balls!" Bobby cries out. Then he takes off his cap for some reason before adding, "Were you ever nice?"

"Shut up!" Dean yells over his shoulder. He fixes her with an offended stare - as if not shutting up would be offensive on her part.

"I hate to interrupt." Says Rowena, interrupting. "What the hell is this?" She looks appalled. Perhaps she's realized she just interrupted.

He's excellent at delivering backhanded insults like that. The author is proud of his newfound subtlety.

"Gun. Mouth. Now." Dean simply reaffirms Bobby's accusation - because he's awesome like that. "Shut your face." He also says, pointing at them all, to further illustrate his paternal figure's point.

Crowley plants his chin in his palm, and looks at the floor with an unreadable (the author swears she tried) glint in his eyes. "Kill me." Perhaps they're tears.

"Oh, they don't miss me." Cas lets out, matter-of-factly, as he sips from his teacup of coffee.

"I think this was just a minor misunderstanding." Sam steps in, and brings puppy bangs with him to solidify his statement.

The author tries and fails to survive staring at them.

Dean clicks his tongue, and manages to resemble a squirrel to a T. Or an S. Everyone's entitled to spell words differently, English is a weird language.

Sam looks at Dean, irritated. "Make it stop." He grits out, clenching his jaw. He's replaced the bangs with sideburns. They have more potential to seem irritated.

"Maybe." Cas pouts, inexplicably.

"What?" Dean sounds positively aghast - but it's toned down from the years of practise from being in the poetic kind of love with the only angel in the world for him - and thus, only shows up in his eyes.

"You don't understand." Cas picks up a salesboy by his collar. He's so whimsical, the author completely gets why Dean's head over heels for him. Cas keeps everyone - especially salesboys who don't get him pie - on their toes.

"You look like a baby." Dean informs him, all laugh-lines and dimples. "Okay, all right." He says next, gruff, trying to smoothen out the curve of seeming like a goner for Cas.

Cas shoots him a discouraging look. "Ouch." He bites his bottom lip, and closes his eyes - and everyone in a seven mile radius ends up pregnant.

True story.

Also, Narendra Modi shows up, namaste-ing the phenomena that is Cas.

"Shhhhit!" Cas squints. He knows a thing or two about horrible, prejudiced political leaders, from an alternate universe Cas's experiences.

"Oh god." Sam adds, regrowing bangs really quickly.

Modi whispers into his phone, eyes trepidly on everyone in the room, and a hand covering his mouth.

Dean stares, unimpressed. Or so it seems until he says, "You gotta teach me how to do that."

Modi shoots the universal gesture for OK at him.

"I will stab you in your face." Dean declares, with parted hair and an office tie. "I'm gonna get my gun." Now he's got sleep-floofed hair and the dead guy robe. Threatening Dean Winchester sure is impressive like that.

(Maybe he'd wanted to learn right away, and took Modi's OK as dismissal.)

(Meh.)

"Maybe you could be a little less... Lord-ly?" Sam cuts in, with his best lawyer impression. Nobody's sure who it's directed to - Dean, the Indian PM, Cas even? - but it doesn't matter because his eyebrows curve like parentheses of reasonability, hair tucked completely behind his ears - and everyone listens to this Sam.

"OKAY." Dean mumbles, sticking a needle in a doll. Or so, the author assumes he's doing.

Sam stares at him blankly for a beat, and then sighs into a smile. His hair's now long enough to curl magnificently at his neck. "You're too precious for the world." He strangles out, basically choking on the sentiment as he grabs Dean, and smushes him into a hug.

Cas smirks, smug.

"Oh, you." Sam pulls back enough to suddenly be in a maroon cardigan as he gazes at his brother through spectacled eyes of adoration.

Dean pulls him in then, bringing Sam down to his height - and Sam's hair escapes the ponytail grandly enough to fall over his face in perfect, messy locks.

The author's already weak heart stutters in her chest, and proceeds to give up entirely.

"Oh. No." Cas exclaims. Probably not for the author, but it's a sweet, borderline necromance-y coincidence. And then, unexplanably, he tilts his head and furrows his brow. "The whore."

Dean sighs, and facepalms. Sam changes into a grey button-up, and looks away into the distance.

The author daydreams too hard about being looked at like that, and loses it entirely.

Fin.

[nicnacsnonsense]

I said yesterday that every single song on the Wicked soundtrack is a Good Omens mood, so today I went song by song, and yep, checks out. (I am going to be skipping three songs -- “I’m Not That Girl (Reprise)”, since as a stand alone song it is not meaningfully different than “I’m Not That Girl”; “Dear Old Shiz” since it’s only intended to transition us from the opening number which takes place at the end of the story back to the beginning; and “Finale” since it is just a reprise/combo of the previous song “For Good” and the next song (in the stories internal chronology) “No One Mourns the Wicked” and does not meaningfully add to either -- and I will be adding in “Wicked Witch of the East” which does not appear on the soundtrack.)

“No One Mourns the Wicked” -- Aziraphale (Glinda) talking to the Archangels (Chorus) about Crowley. “Nothing grows for the wicked/They reap only what they've sown”

“The Wizard and I” -- The general sentiment echoes Aziraphale’s continued faith in God, despite private doubts about Heaven and the Great Plan. “He'll say to me, "I see who you truly are/A girl on whom I can rely!" 

“What is This Feeling” -- Heaven (Glinda) vs. Hell (Elphaba) with the Chorus representing Christianity, on Heaven’s side despite neither ultimately being appreciably better than the other. Alternatively, there’s some solid Ineffable Bureaucracy feels if you’re into that. “There's a strange exhilaration/In such total detestation/It's so pure, so strong!/Though I do admit, it came on fast/Still I do believe that it can last/And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long.”

“Something Bad” -- Aziraphale (Elphaba) believing God will stop the Apocalypse. “If something bad is happening to the Animals/Someone's got to tell the Wizard/That's why we have a Wizard/So nothing bad....“

“Dancing Through Life” -- Fiyero’s opening section is very remiscent on Crowley’s policy on working and his efforts to tempt Aziraphale into the Arrangement. In that context, him coming to this philosophy after having been kicked out of schools in the past is a bit... painful. “Dancing through life, no need to tough it/When you can slough it off as I do.”

“Popular” -- This one is a bit harder to place, but I can imagine that if Crowley and Aziraphale had to teach each other how to do their jobs in service of the Arrangement, this is the kind of energy I imagine they’d bring. Alternatively, if you dial down the good-natured intentions and dial up the judgement and condescension, there are shades of Heaven/Hell (Glinda) wanting Aziraphale/Crowley (Elphaba) to be a proper angel/demon. “Don't be offended by my frank analysis/Think of it as personality dialysis”

“I’m Not That Girl” -- Crowley through 6000 years of pining, with the “that girl” he’s losing out to being Heaven. Though the general longing for someone you feel you can never have also has some pretty strong Aziraphale through 6000 years of pining vibes too. “ Ev'ry so often, we long to steal/To the land of what-might-have-been/But that doesn't soften the ache we feel/When reality sets back in “

“One Short Day” -- This is the background music every time during the 6000 years when Aziraphale and Crowley manage to sneak in some time to enjoy each other’s company just for the sake of it. “ And then, just like now, we can say/We're just two friends/Two good friends/Two best friends/Sharing one wonderful/One short day!”

“Defying Gravity” -- The main feel of the song has a lot of Crowley (Elphaba) immediately pre-Fall energy, but the conversation between Elphaba and Glinda in particular is very reminiscent of the bandstand. G:”Elphie, listen to me, just say you're sorry!/You can still be with the wizard/What you've worked and waited for/You can have all you ever wanted.” E:”I know/But I don't want it/No, I can't want it anymore”

“Thank Goodness” -- Aziraphale (Glinda) trying to put on a obedient and faithful attitude while dealing with his doubts about Heaven and his forbidden feelings for Crowley. “ And if that joy, that thrill/Doesn't thrill like you think it will/Still, with this perfect finale/The cheers and the ballyhoo/Who wouldn't be happier?/So I couldn't be happier”

“The Wicked Witch of the East” -- Most of this doesn’t connect much, and very little of it is sung, but this last bit here is absolutely Crowley (Nessa) sitting in the bar after the bookshop fire. “Alone and loveless here/Just the girl in the mirror/Just her and me, Wicked Witch of the East!/We deserve each other”

“A Sentimental Man”/”Wonderful” -- I combined these two because “A Sentimental Man” by itself is really short and doesn’t really tie in, but thematically it goes with “Wonderful” so I think it works with that context. One thing for this one is to keep in mind that in Christianity Gabriel is an Archangel, but he’s generally consider the messenger, which one would think would generally put him at the bottom of that top group, and yet in Good Omens he seems to have worked his way up to de facto leader of Heaven in God’s absence/silence. Making the Archangel Fucking Gabriel feel a lot like the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Not to mention the general point about labels and history has a lot of Good Omens Heaven and Hell are basically the same thing with different names vibes. “There are precious few at ease/With moral ambiguities/So we act as though they don't exist”

“As Long as You’re Mine” -- Azcrow Saturday night “you can stay at my place” feels. Enough said. “ Say there's no future/For us as a pair/And though I may know/I don't care/Just for this moment/As long as you're mine/Come be how you want to/And see how bright we shine”

“No Good Deed” -- The bookshop fire. The first three-quarters or so of the song is Crowley running into the burning bookshop, desperate to find Aziraphale and being overwhelmed by how absolutely everything has gone completely wrong this week capped now with this, losing the love of his life. The last bit of the song transitions to Aziraphale up in Heaven completely done with all this bullshit and flipping the entire Host off on his way out. “Fiyero, where are you? Already dead or bleeding?/One more disaster I can add to my generous supply?”

“March of the Witch Hunters” -- This is literally just the Witchfinder Army’s theme song. “Go and hunt her/And find her/And kill her/Kill the witch!”

“For Good” -- Aziraphale and Crowley on Sunday morning as they wait for Heaven and Hell to come for them, not knowing if their plan will work or if they’ll ever see each other again. “ Who can say/If I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better/And because I knew you/.../I have been changed/For good.”

And there you have it. Every single song on the Wicked soundtrack is a Good Omens mood, fact checked and proven. Still compiling evidence for the “Stephen Schwartz is a time traveler who did this all on purpose” theory. I’ll keep you posted.

[gwasgy]

Okay. So. Here’s an elaborate multiple days of brainstorming ideas as they come PracticalMagicnatural AU nonsense. Thank you.

- Bobby and Rufus would be the Aunts and they'd be bffs not siblings and would have Vibes but it would be... hm. This is not a Bufus story is what I'm saying.

- the Curse would be on the men and for the women they love of course (classic fridging :/)

- this works for Bobby, (Rufus,) John, and Sam. (Supernatural is bad)

- so this is where it's kind of. Hm. Bc Sally and Gillian are not one to one for either boy. Where Sally and Gillian BOTH have identities separating family and magic (family business), these ideas are inseparable for the brothers.

- alsooo dean and sam to BE dean and sam they would've had to be "raised" by john until they were at least near-grown, even if they had a home base at Bobby's house.

- John still kills himself with grief MAYBE but it's like /later/ and more through self destruction and revenge and alcoholism, leaving the boys to live their later teenage/early twenties in the Bufus household

- Azazel is the one killing all the Wives in this curse. And if they use The Resurrection Spell to bring them back, he is possessing them

- hmmmmmmmmm they need to still be hunters I think buuut what if. They also did witchcraft.

- Dean would cast the love summoning spell, making it so that he uses angel descriptors unwittingly or on purpose because he doesnt think angels are real and therefore cannot exist for him to fall in love with and kill (bc the curse)

- it would be fun and very cringe fail embarrassing for Dean if sometimes he thought about His Angel and accidentally occasionally prayed to Cas

- Anna could show up and be Dean's red herring

- Dean could be in an About to Die situation and think, as a joke or whatever, "fuck. I never even got to meet that hot angel chick that's in love with me," and Cas shows up (with wings bc hot), saves him, *handprints*, then leaves

- OR. There's a blinding light and screeching noise and Dean blacks out and wakes up with a handprint safe and sound

- Cas and The Guy From Practical Magic That's A Cop both bend the rules of their superiors for their person easily and pliantly. except for the initial pushback. Hm.

----

- it's weird bc in practical magic there's this whole vibe of I'm Done With Magic And You're Dragging Me Back Into This And Ruining My Life but sammy had gone away and rejected The Life THEN found the woman he loves and THEN tried to resurrect her mayyybeeeee wait wait wait it wouldn’t be Jess bc she isn’t evilll...

- DEAN would be the one with a bad boyfriend that they accidentally kill and have to resurrect... hmmmmm

- maybe it's like a Boy Best Friend of dean's like maybe he is on a hunt with Benny and he accidentally chops his damn head off and tries to resurrect him to cover it up

- and that fucks up something in the afterlife and Cas is sent to Fix The Problem of whatever the fuck happened to this guy's soul when they did this

----

- it's wonderful to think of the PTA mom shenanigans Dean and Sam could get into but I don't think that Dean would have any sort of kid in this besides maybe jack?

- I mean, it could be that Ben is still around and he was with Lisa but never Loved Her on principal, and left in time so the curse didn't fuck her up, but they're still friends and he will still pick Ben up from school sometimes

- I don't see how the phone tree could work into it but I don't think that it's necessary bc sam and dean and cas's version of this story does not and can not revolve around them being outsiders in their own community but overcoming it and accepting who you are and integrating into the community through girl power and witch magic

- BUT. the potential of sammy being possessed is yeah. It’s extremely. Yeah.

- They could have a nice bonding moment of I'm never gonna leave you you can do this like from Swan Song. Like Sally joining Gilly in the broom circle to help her while she’s being exorcised

- their brotherly bond is NOTHING like Sally and Gillian's, though. Like YES. they would no doubt help bury the body, but they aren't giggling about their love life under the covers together. They simply are not that type of girl

- also I guess there wouldn't be the tension of You're Ruining My Life That I've Constructed Just By Being Here between them.

- WELL.

- Dean WOULD say something shitty about cleaning up Sam's messes though. He is just that type of guy

----

- Dean can definitely be the one chopping and hacking at the rose bush and cas would DEFINITELY get distracted and heal him in the middle of his conversation with him

- Dean oh dean he and his close Boy Best Friends could totally fuck with the curse. Like-

- Dean: Oh my good friend Benny he’s the first person ive really allowed myself to get attatched to in a while but that’s fine! he can't die because i don't love or like him like that because he's a guy! Haha, I'm not gay! We are just guys being dudes just two bros hanging out :)

Benny: *dies anyway*

Dean: FUCK

- Sammy would totally make that new age witchy herbal shop that Sally had! that would be so fun. Also ft. periphery what the fuck is up with those people type locals

- maybe Rowena shows up still and Crowley is also there hmmmmm and Rowena teaches Sam magic stuff and it gets him to make the supernatural a part of his life again without having to do any hunting hmmmmmmm or it's just another tool in his arsenal and he just always deserves to have magic powers

- the supernatural ladies could work in the shop :) like Meg and Rowena and Ruby anndddd Alya :) Ava? The psychic hunger games MVP girl

- or all the kids work at that shop!! I miss those dang kids. Max, the twins, death lesbian, Jake, electric guy, and all them :)

- Rowena is like a witchy shop owner up in town that buys Sam's wares to sell in the city #CareerWoman #GirlBoss

- Jody and Donna can also hang out I guess. Since we're at Bobby's place

----

- Dean casts the love summoning spell after either Regular Heartbreak with Cassie, his first love, when he was 15 or whatever, OR after the behated Boy Best Friend death. Hmmmmmm

- it makes more sense for the story for dean to have someone die on him and apply to the curse. But I don't wanna kill Benny ):

- well I don't think he was ever In Love with Crowley or Benny like he was with Cassie (or even Lisa)

- when he was 15 or 14 and John was still around but had left him at the Bufus household he got hold of that love summoning spell and made sure it was impossible so he would never experience heartache again. He does so while crying teenagishly and 11 year old sam is like. Why the fuck are you summoning this weird monster girl to fall in love with you

- and Dean is like no no this kind of monster doesn't exist. Anyway they'd have glowing blue eyes and they're as big as a building and and they hear me whenever I call no matter far away

- Sam: that...... sounds like an angel, dean.

Dean, having already done the spell: WHAT. NO. NO IT'S NOT IT IS SO NOT LIKE AN ANGEL. ANGELS AREN'T REAL

- Cas in Heaven, a bunch of flower petals swirling around him: what the fuck is that. That's weird

- Cas like 13 years later when he sees a cajun zombie vampire demon: okay I'm already getting weird prayers from some guy down there I'm just gonna check that out

- by the time Cas gets down there they've killed it again and buried it and hmm

- It's weird because it's the opposite of Practical Magic here bc Cas is the one that needs to be believed about something supernatural BY dean

----

- what if they accidentally kill JOHN instead of a hot bf. Dean kills John bc John tries to kill Sam, and they panickedly try to resurrect him immediately

- yeah yeah yeah yeah and John, possessed by Azazel, gets killed again while still being possessed and is buried underground. There can still be a rose bush and frogs and whatnot

- I doon't know why Bobby and Rufus would just leave the brothers in their house if John was alive until then?

- Alright John's been missing for like 5 years and the boys have just been living there and assumed he's dead. Then he comes for Sammy bc Sam is Turning Evil or whatever and John's a huge loser about it

- so Bufus is like "you guys are acting insane and you aren't telling us what's wrong so we’re just going to leave and you're going to sort it out yourself." Like the aunts

- then, when cas shows up to track down the weird resurrected demon-possessed serial killer abomination Dean and Cas are EMBARRASSING like completely totally absolutely embarrassing cringe fail love where they can't talk normal with eachother and Cas keeps getting too close and staring but Dean forgets to tell him to back off or anything and he just stammers uselessly through thin dumb lies

- there aren't any children there to comically thwart Sam's plans to get rid of Castiel as he is investigating Dean and Sam but it could end similarly

- where Cas finds Sam making a small angel banishing symbol and is like "okay. You guys aren't to be trusted and you're doing something evil (and i don't understand what’s happening to me when i’m around Dean). I'm just straight up going to leave then" and boom he's gone

- the fight Sally and Gillian have right before Gillian gets possessed can play out pretty damn similarly with Sam and Dean, but it's a LOT different too

- like it's their DAD not some random serial killer bf. You can't choose your dingdang dad! So the part of "I cant keep cleaning up your messes" WHOSE MESSES who even says that to who whose mess could this even be

----

- Sam has a girlfriend that dies from the curse and it’s bc of being caught in the crossfire when Hunter Bullshit Happens. The Women of the Winchesters’ way. So he moves back specifically to get back into hunting and witchcraft to BREAK the curse hmmmmm.

- Much like Sally with Michael’s death. “I don't care what he comes back as. As long he comes back. Please do this for me. Please? Please? Please? Please?” :(

- I think Dean is an Of Course I’m Not Going To Fall In Love kinda character, like younger Sally before Michael. very pessimistic very self depreciating. He only confides his deepest darkest desires (to be loved simply and openly without fear of the Curse taking anyone. To be held and to take care of someone who will appreciate it) in his fakey fake pretend prayers to his imaginary angel (this turns out to be very cringe fail embarrassing when Cas shows up)

- Cas holds onto these prayers like Hallet (the cop from movie) does with Sally’s letter to Gillian, not knowing or understanding why he’s so fixated on them and why he can’t stop reading them/playing them back/listening in

- John… maybe he was pulling a Gordon and was killing all the psychic kids and was eventually going to have to kill Sam, and Cas was for some reason Put On The Case as an angel or was Allowed to Interfere or whatever bc it was fudging up God’s Plan

- and that’s how Cas justified being so fixated and taking notes on Dean’s prayers, like Hallet did with the letter. It was a good lead. It was about their father, and Sam seemed to be having psychic tendencies or whatever that could turn dangerous

----

- Okay okayokayokay so Sally and Gillian’s story is them escaping the ostracization they feel from the people in their physical regional community. The Owen’s family has always been outsiders, even before the curse came into being. They are persecuted for being witches (and sleeping around and being sexy).

- the sisters try to escape this either by just LEAVING: going to a place they can be themself without shame, or assimilating and abandoning a part of themself so that they can stay.

- the Winchester brothers are, I guess, ostracized by the hunting community because they are kept away from it and moved around a lot in the show. Okay okay okay okay okaywaitwaitwait

- Okay so the Winchesters feel alienated from both civilians and the hunting community, and they both eventually choose to do similar things to Sally and Gilly..! Sam LEAVES and assimilates, while Dean stays and just accepts his role his father gave him.

- Gilly and Sam LEAVE, while Dean and Sally STAY. Gillian and Dean embrace what makes them Different, while Sally and Sam reject it in favor of Being Normal

- The witchcraft/hunting thing especially doesn’t mesh well here though because Hunting is KILLING it’s literally murdering sentient beings. It’s war propaganda it’s desensitizing you to Even Though The Enemy Is Capable Of Good Individually They Are, As A Group, Evil And Should Be Slaughtered.

- Witchcraft in Practical Magic is just… a way of life that’s considered outside the accepted norms of society. It’s being openly queer, it’s being from a different country of origin, it’s being non-christian religious in a small town. Accepting witchcraft doesn’t have any moral good or badness, it’s just with or without the consequences of being “out” in your area. While accepting Hunting as a lifestyle is to accept putting yourself in bodily danger doing morally ambiguous/BAD things to protect people you can’t relate to or find a community in. Hmmmmmmmmmm

----

- Sam and Sally both have natural talents/instincts but don't want to use it in favor of being "normal"

-

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x13 watching notes

I’m posting this but you can pretty much watch my soul depart my body while reading so idk how entertaining it is to read because I got bored, not angry :P

Expectations? Well apparently the subplot is Dagon, who has been apparently by IMDB last time I checked cast as an asian actress, so she's going to die and that's going to be enraging (and it's Buckleming so she'll probably die of stupid, in a weird ass way) and she's hanging with Kelly and Lucifer's baby so THAT's going to be a disaster, so the subplot is already making my brain itch.

The main plot, on the other hand, I am ready to mock gleefully whichever way it comes and expect better than average Buckleming-ing because it's the MacLeods and they like them and put in extra effort. It's going to be like the true Dabb vs cars test - can he wrangle Buckleming to fix the plot hole that's existed basically the entire time I've been in fandom or will it remain hilariously open despite all this revisiting of the past and fixing, like, everything, that's been going on... Are they a law unto themselves or can they fall in line and deliver one of these Dabb-era canon reworkings that address what the fans want to see (aka, no stupid plotholes)? The plothole is SO egrarious they aaalmost pointed it out themselves in 9x21, commenting about how it was bad to keep Gavin from his proper death, but we have never seen COSMIC CONSEQUENCES from it, which are sort of a thing right now...

Though 9x21 has a whole little scene mocking fans, so idk how Buckleming feel but being nice to us is probably their last priority these days and they really do not fit in with all the other writers who are making love to the show :P

-

Recappy of 9x21 which I watched, like, the day before yesterday, so we're good. I do wonder if Sam and Dean not knowing the exposition of who Gavin is and what happened to him is the plothole already erasing their memories of 6x04.

Like, Crowley has to explain because even HE doesn't remember that incident, he just knows this about Gavin's ship??

Or will the recappy carry on with 6x04...

The good news is we get Sam delivering the line about Coooosmic Consequeeences again IN the recap. This automatically improves my mood.

Nah, on to "What the hell is a prince of hell" exposition without showing Gavin asking Crowley if he was one and Crowley cheekily handing him the title before regretting it and telling him not to ever mention it again, because one or the other of the 3 remaining Princes of Hell may have come for him :P

Poor Cas delivering clearly understandable exposition while bleeding into the Plaid Sofa - if the Princes keep being a thing then we're gonna see that a lot.

Oh thank fuck for Davy Perez and his clearly understandable one line exposition - Ramiel also mentioned the bun in the oven and his sister Dagon in one sentence and spared us clumsy Buckleming recapping of cobbling together a whole montage about this from various hints in the episode.

Listen I've done my rewatch up to where I joined in with fandom so I have now survived the recap of every single Buckleming episode while wryly commenting on it or watching fandom snark about it, and that's probably one of their best because it's so concise I would not have credited them

-

*random generic ghost death after an incredbly long time watching this lady's bedtime routine* After 12 seasons I'm pretty numb to these deaths, which makes all the suspense kind of time wasting unless it's really well done or contains really obvious hints about the plot - ah well, it wasn't offensive and minimally gross on this show's scale, so :P

-

Can't believe Dean doesn't sign off with "thanks babe" when talking to Cas. It would be so easy I'm actually confused when it doesn't happen.

He's out of focus but is he wearing a brand new purple shirt? Also have we seen Jensen wearing this at cons? The colour scheme is vaguely familiar but I may just be getting used to Dean wearing purple. Sam keeps swinging between blue and red (they're in the same scheme as last episode, purple and blue, here) and red and blue are the conflict colours - Dean's plaid has been suggesting unification and resolution especially given the colours he wore to talk God and Amara out of it. Purple is the natural extension of that where everything's mixed... or it's totally other symbolism of purple, but I like contrasting him and Sam, and Sam HAS been wearing red and blue at random, seeming a lot more scattered. And he's not talking to Mary.

Anyway the pattern of the plaid looks weirdly flat and 2-tone to me which is probably a commentary on the writing skills of the duo :P

-

Mary and Ketch are in this episode. It's starting to seem really cluttered but hey I guess they're busy working on something? Could be a random lead in to next episode.

Could be classic Buckleming Clutter.

-

I should stop judging but I would be worried about fitting in a ghost hunt and Crowley, Rowena and Gavin chatting, never mind throwing in a side plot, never mind not just doing basic exposition about what Kelly's up to but making it complicated with another set of main characters >.>

I do like seeing Mary though so

-

Poor Cas being the only one not in the episode

-

Yeah Mary's wearing red and blue striped plaid. Her ring is tucked into her shirt, and she's having fun killing monsters and testing the BMoL's toys with Ketch, who has been a John parallel at the very least for his completely uncompromising approach to monsters. Now it seems he's training her up, testing her to kill monsters (which in this underground carpark vibe place but a ton of dead monsters around her and the implication it's training, makes me think of 8x17 and Cas being trained to kill Dean - is Mary being made to harden up against monsters even more - including family like Cas.

-

I'm sure this will go very well for her.

-

We cut to this because Dean mentioned how maybe Mary would want to work with them. He says they haven't seen her in a while, suggesting that a great deal of time has passed since 12x12 IF that was the last time they saw each other.

(I guess we have a huuuge fan fic gap now so Dean n Cas have probably been together for a few weeks at least)

I suppose all these time skips this part of the season are because there's a baby situation going on and they want to escalate it...

-

I almost commented on Ketch's suit but realised I was about to compare it to Joan Watson because I did watch Elementary at some undisclosed point during these notes so far :P

-

His stop watch thing seems like a gimmick playing off last episode though. Mary and timing - she refused to give up the colt while Ramiel had a stopwatch countdown. Now Ketch is timing her. She feels she's on borrowed time...

I'm sure this will go well for her.

-

Blatant Dean reference is blatant when Mary claims she's hanging out watching pay per view and using the magic fingers. Filed under: ... do Buckleming realise how suggestive that was always meant to sound when Dean said it? Why is Mary telling Dean this. Sam always looks horrified when he catches Dean using magic fingers. THE GIFS OF HIM DOING IT.

Oh well. Buckleming.

-

And then Mary says she's still resting up from the Ramiel thing. Honestly, my BFF might be shipping Mary and Cas to my despair but think about Sam and Dean - their mom and BFF are constantly not around and complaining about no leads on the case, just, like, resting up...

"You're an excellent liar, Mary" It is a family thing.

Has Ketch REALLY, REALLY never been told, put 2 and 2 together or otherwise had it made clear to him that Sam and Dean don't know Mary is working with them? Sure Sam and Dean saw them help in 12x09 but there's something different between calling for help and accepting the proposal and they KNOW they'd be suspicious to work with them after Toni

(Poor Toni, character assassinated in 2 episodes by Buckleming, who are now explaining her away as a rogue operative because they made her go past a point of no return and now she's been ditched from the story... Imagine if that happened happened and she was still allowed to be around without the very well-justified reason she's now the face of the BMoL torturing Sam and Dean and can't be allowed near them. And we thought from 12x01 she had a ton of potential to be interesting and nuanced and all... Argh)

Anyway this makes it very clear they're untrustworthy to work with because of the way they have to be all unsubtle about Ketch thinking that Toni went too far when SHE thinks HE's the psycho.

-

"So... drink?" Oh, they're dating now I guess

-

Huh, Crowley. Randomly. Whyyy.

I mean, why didn't they give him an episode to be all weird and sketchy about having Lucifer in his basement while dealing with his family nonsense without SHOWING him having Lucifer in his basement? 12x12 was slick but obviously did not have time to focus on that... Following it with what should be a Crowley-related fluff family episode about Gavin being useless and dorky (I assume. I watched 9x21 too recently and I'm helplessly attached to the doofus again) and Crowley, well, we could have shown him, like Mary being sketchy about the BMoL or Cas in season 6 being sketchy about working with Crowley, just kind of... itchy about time and what he can do and generally having a load of tells something's up... Keep Lucifer out of the episode entirely and focus on Crowley's emotional state to sort of retroactively add the emotional stuff that had to be left out for time and drama last time.

Like, 12x12 was so full on, you need a REST episode after which you think Gavin's return would be perfect MacLeod fluff, and we keep Lucifer away

But nah he's here so suddenly we have to see him and see Crowley interacting with him, and all that subtle menace and whatever from the end of 12x12 evaporates because we're just leaping right in. We shouldn't have seen Crowley until whatever brings him to hang out with the rest of the MacLeods later in the episode (as I'm pretty sure we saw them doing in a promo)

Ugh. :P

-

Maybe I'm just being picky but I did NOT want to see Lucifer again immediately, and Crowley keeping that secret, and sure WE know he has Lucifer in his basement but no one else does so now we know Crowley's secret, tell it like he has one! Don't show us more!! LESS IS MORE

-

Also whenever Crowley lectures Lucifer it just reeks of hubris like this is going to blow up in Crowley's face and now it feels like it's going to Buckleming up in his face instead of the more subtle way it could have gone.

Since they're now explaining how Crowley stole a Lucifer for himself.

Maybe Rowena knows he has him but in that case you think they'd use 12x11 to hint there's more Dean doesn't remember or shouldn't remember, OR have Rowena tease him on screen that she knows stuff he'd die to know if only he knew he had to know it :P

-

Oh, nope, he just sabotaged it somehow. Even Rowena doesn't know.

-

I know I have a lot of headaches pretty much permanently but there's one that shows up in a little line just above my eye that I'm sure is tuned only to the frequency of Buckleming episodes and only shows up when I watch one.

I'm burning a candle to ward off evil spirits.

-

Didn't work

Just keysmashed at Mittens and went to go get another cup of tea. Buckleming... Pls. we're 5 minutes into the episode.

I mean in the interest of explaining random things that fans might complain about, explaining why Lucifer is Nick again is... I suppose... an effort...

I SUPPOSE it interests Crowley to collect everything remotely useful connected to Lucifer.

His diary for the week after Swan Song is packed.

I mean we always knew he was snooping around doing various behind the scenes things, but aside from anything else that's too much ass-pulling by saying Crowley did this Crowley did that 6-7 years ago in a row.

Not sure I can look directly at the rest of anything else that happened in the last minute of screen time :P

-

Lucifer snarks about how stupid this all is. Including also pointing out something that was bugging me that I wasn't going to mention, that Crowley isn't even keeping Lucifer down in Hell where he can be SOMEWHAT contained, but he's got him surface level in his usual dingy rooms.

That comment is just inserting an eye roll :P

-

Dean is suspicious about Mary's motives for being busy, while Sam is eager to explain it away, which I'm not even sure is flipping their positions about it or not, because Dean has been grumpy about Mary not wanting to hang out with them, but Sam was explaining THAT away too, so he mostly seems to be reacting to what Dean says in defence of Mary, which I guess may be making him less critical of her actions as he's getting to them through the filter of Dean complaining about her staying away or being weird. But of the 2 of them (while Cas has a few more reasons to be suspicious than her sons as of 12x12) Sam has more reason to seem suspicious of her because he was the one asking Mary how she was and asking Mary what SHE got them into last time.

-

Maybe they're both sort of suspicious but beither wants to commit.

-

Oh god we don't have to watch a guy die while he's peeing do we?

-

oh good >.> He's just going to die randomly in this creepy bathroom

Does he have no preservation instinct

-

Did Sam just say something about ADHD ghosts? Or was it something else and my hearing is messed up? It honestly barely makes sense in context because he was talking about how there's just a ton of haunted stuff at museums but obviously most of them don't seem to be aggressively haunted like this. (And I think it's a nice detail to assume that there's a lot of potential ghost activity at museums given they're ancient artefact-collecting places and those are the exact sort of things that might have a spirit attached.

maybe he said ancient ghosts.

Maybe I will assume he did even if it turns out to be "ADHD" when someone finds the captions for it because that makes more sense >.>

-

*Dean messes with some priceless artefact weapons and we cringe as he drops them and wonder if this is a metaphor for Buckleming handling canon*

-

Okay one small good thing: Dean remembers the detail about Gavin's ship.

Whether this is because Crowley told them or Bobby told them, I have no fucking clue but 6x04 only exists if Gavin is slam dunked back into his watery grave, so. Probably Crowley.

Anyway yay Dean's photographic memory.

-

I actually had to go check with Mittens and demand spoilers if this ever gets addressed and fucking hell Crowley thinks the Winchesters actually killed the Nephilim already what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

-

Fortunately on that note it's dinner time and I'm putting 7x20 on.

-

Oh my god Crowley thinks the Winchesters killed the Nephilim??? THEY WERE ARRESTED MOMENTS LATER

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP SO BADLY YOU PUT PLOTHOLES IN YOUR OWN WRITING FROM LITERALLY THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE FOR THIS SHOW?

Does he think Cas did it??

he maaagically knows EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS EVER INCLUDING ANY PLOTHOLE FROM 10 YEARS AGO THEY WANT TO FILL

HOW

-

Why did Crowley have this conversation in the same room as Lucifer and not even try to hide what he was talking about from him?

unrelated side note: why did Crowley think Sam and Dean killed the baby?

-

Why did Lucifer say "Oh my dad" now the entire fandom has to stop making that joke ironically

-

maybe if I don't comment on this plotline at all it doesn't happen

-

Anyway! Sam and Dean stay at the museum overnight for some reason. Guess they really like the movies. Anyway they smuggled a Rowena in  with them. I should probably just stop asking questions at this point.

-

Sam has also decided to stop wearing his jacket and is distractingly beefy and this is not coming lightly from me, a person who has never really objectified Sam ever except for maybe a little in season 7 when he has that hair and sideburns combo

I clearly need something to distract me here :P

-

Also the last scene involved a lingering close up of a lady's chest. In a coat, but still. Dodgy camerawork to accompany everything else.

-

*Sam casually manhandles Rowena and pfft I don't wanna ship it but yikes it's a messed up brilliant ship for Sam*

Dean has already kind of decided Rowena is OK, but Sam still has some serious issues and is also apparently grabby with her and well, 10x19 is still a thing, and... just gimme witch Sam already

-

Oh yep there's Dagon. Now don't die. Already killed the angel in the black vessel, so this is all going well >.>

Blah blah usual line about demons being more sympathetic than angels and Lucifer is just misunderstood. Dagon's pretty cool but she is just reciting pretty much word for word other lines about Lucifer or angels or demons that other characters have already said in more dramatic and weighty episodes.

She does seem more sympathetic about the whole Lucifer's baby thing than anyone else so far.

Also how did random angels track Kelly when Cas couldn't

Also how did Dagon track her etc

The wide shot reveals the absolutely standard boots for female characters on TV which I started noticing and getting bemused about in Person of Interest and then I realised badasses like Parker wore them in Leverage, and now I can't stop seeing the everywhere on Action Female Characters I guess because there's a certain amount of high heel where you can kick butt and still run around. They still seem really unpractical compared to wearing non-heeled shoes but I suppose they're the limit for actresses who have to wear them all day. Eh.

Anyway Dagon seems nice and they have the same taste in boots so I guess they can be BFFs now.

-

Oh my god we're past the midway point of the episode and finally we get to the promo scene which seemed like it had been at the start of the episode.

Nice to see this is getting the appropriate amount of emotional weight.

At least Dean's wearing his Cas plaid/plaid that looks like the sofa/TFW plaid

Sam is back in red.

-

GAVIIIIIIIN

-

I like how they said Crowley was sick to get him here... Crowley is kinda fucked over but not in that way.

Also what a gullible cookie to believe Crowley might get sick.

he doesn't know aaanything

-

"That's my ship!" "should've been"

YEAH GAVIN GET ON THAT SHIP

-

He's so sweet. "Oooh! There's Mr MacCallum(?)'s hook! Had no hand, ye see."

I feel weirdly proud of him

-

Oh wow I'm Rowena in this scene

-

Boooooring he had a girlfriend

-

I mean I still love and support him but I am disappointed because 9x21 had that ambiguous guy who seemed to feel right at home in Gavin's one-bed room and assumed they were hooking up with Abaddon

oh well maybe Gavin thought he was single again what with the going to America thing/things had been complicated because of this guy and they were going to America together and Gavin retroactively was already feeling reeeeeally guilty about it before this all came back to - heh - haunt him. Maybe that's why he thought he was going to Hell - he was fucking off to America with his boyfriend after dumping Fiona because he was worried to take her with him for justifiable reasons about ship safety.

-

SNOW

-

I think there was some earlier in the dark but it was boring and dark

-

Also hi I never see snow :P

-

Mr Ketch still pestering Mary for a drink. He's really into her. Goes and brings up her kids though "It might be best if you were to... disengage from them, for a bit." - dude, that's all she's done all season

Oh look and her ring's back out in plain sight. (She's also wearing a grey plaid - totally drained of colour - "nothing comes before my family"

Oh he's REALLY hitting on her now, telling her she's the best hunter he's ever seen and she might play at being mummy, but blah blah blatant Mark of Cain Dean parallels about blade in her hand blood in the air that's the real you

"The best you"

And yeah all that same paralleling about how it scares her to be a killer etc that Dean goes through

As well as the "you play at - " phrasing that was so horrible levelled at Cas in 9x22 about playing at being one of the angels.

-

This random museum lady has a ring on her necklace. She hasn't really done enough to be a Mary mirror?

Maybe things will change. At least for now she's just misplaced part of her exhibit because ghosts :P

-

Pretty sure we saw the ghost go after the white lady but honestly knowing this show I'm kind of worried for her friend

Welp it's still chasing her

Ooh yay Winchesters saved her

-

No time for character development. Too much going on. Gavin is already confronting his dead girlfriend

-

I guess this is how Gavin gets talked to go on the ship, so he can protect her >.>

-

They're blatantly just saying they can't burn the locket to justify sending Gavin back

I didn't watch 7x19 because I didn't want to put myself through it, but it does include a ghost having both bones and an item he's connected to aside from that he uses to move around, so I guess it's pre-existing Buckleming canon and I'm glad I remembered that without havig to relive the episode

-

"You don't intend to tamper with the flow of time, do ye?" Do they hear the dialogue they write? :P Gavin... literally... is here... tampering with the flow of time... Sam and Dean are just sticking up for the exact thing they've always said about putting Gavin back where Abaddon found him.

-

I guess Rowena is protesting because she likes him, but still... She might have found a better way to say it

-

Awww no Gavin is alone someone please give him a hug

Well Rowena did earlier

more hugs for Gavin... at this point all I want out of the episode. I'm still watching FOR Gavin

-

Hey Crowley. Popping up out of the blue with no explanation to defend Gavin some more.

-

This is kind of anvil heavy about someone from the past deciding to go back because they don't fit in and there are loved ones back there which is all horribly grim Mary-related stuff >.>

-

Though she doesn't have a "past" to return to, just Heaven, and we've had periodic opportunities for her to go back throughout the season so idk if it's maintaining the threat until the last minute like the way Dean suffered in season 11 with the temptation of Amara/the Empty that she represented, or just foreshadowing. Outside of Buckleming episodes I feel Dabb era is kind of more nuanced, but we'll see...

-

*stares at the emotional beats in this scene some more* honestly that could have been worse. Crowley was probably way too over-emotional about it considering he resented that he didn't want Gavin to die in 9x21... Not sure that making him cry was particularly kind to him although maybe he's learned to stop hissing in horror at feelings and never really got better, just manages it more... Anyway, his attachment to Gavin is completely hypothetical since he's ditched him in the future without a glance back except for sulking about feelings some more. Idk maybe he's been keeping a better eye on him than he has on with Winchesters or he'd fuckin' know that they were still desperately looking for Kelly.

I suppose Cas has been shouldering that one more than the Winchesters, and he'd not chat to Crowley about it all.

Hrm.

Anyway, trite emotional scene and then they take Gavin off and just leave Rowena? Even Baby looks embarassed to be in this episode. Rowena didn't even come to see Gavin off??

-

I'm glad their weird Latin spellbook helpfully has just the ingredients of the spell helpfully also listed in English just in case you were curious what they were/didn't remember them from last time

-

Eehehe the jar of angel feathers

-

Henry Winchester nostalgia

"and Abaddon" I'm amazed the sad music didn't record scratch

-

Also they're not even using the door.

-

"Oh this is a tough one" Aw Dean don't get too over emotional :S

-

*Sam notices a fly or something in the background while Dean looks all sappy about a love story*

Ugh I'll let Gavin have that. It makes no sense whatsoever how she appeared like that but okay :P They wanted to show us that I guess instead of just zapping Gavin back. Over-tell everything!!

-

Anyway I guess "Dabb vs cars" is now to be tagged with a strong sense of pride :P

Although also some disappointment he still has to deal with Buckleming

-

Also so this episode is still going on

-

They rewrote history

-

MARY

-

She brought food!

-

Terrifyingly coded food because Mom Beer and the betrayal burgers which date back to Cas in season 6

Dean is dramatic

-

Also they've changed clothes so this may be up to 3 months later

-

Oh dear, I think she's about to tell them she's hooked up with Mr Ketch in a Buckleming episode

-

You know my terror of them fucking this up is actually making it seem like this conversation is going better than it could have. I've only been annoyed with like two details of charactersation/silly dialogue choices so far :P

Dean's just done the despairing blink realising that family is waaaaaay more complicated than just saying they're family

-

Which he already knew but he has to go through it with Mary because this has been about tearing down all his notions about her and it doesn't work unless he's at least a LITTLE bit betrayed by her.

-

Rowena and Crowley... okay that wasn't the end of the episode.

Yay Rowena I guess :P I can't believe anyone still remembered 10x23 - we were sort of mostly pretending it didn't happen. (Also blaming Crowley for everything, not Sam even though he's the one who started it) - but Rowena remembered >.> And she rights the wrongs done against her. Always. 

-

*random spooky end*

[aoitrinity]

SPN Episode 14 - The Raid - Running Annotations

So much to unpack tonight! Let’s get started... (beware, obviously spoilers abound):   -In the “Then” segment, holy cow, the boys are such babies! Look at how cute they aaaaare <3 -I love watching the boys in this scene--both reacting in their own ways, but both equally interesting to watch. -”Cas almost died!”--That’s right Dean! STAND UP FOR YOUR HUSBAND! -Oh, my heart...you can just see Dean rebuilding those walls brick by fucking brick. Someone he loves has broken his trust...again...*sob* -”I watch him die, every night--” “Good.” - COLD, DEAN. Oh the feels! Such painful, delicious feels. -The BMoL compound has a very Alien feel to it. Sterile. Claustrophobic. I’m sure that’s on purpose. -”I’m doing this for you!”--Mary...but also Cas (who did bad things for Dean for a good reason). Parallellllllllllls! -Dean thinks his mom wants to get away from them! God, the pain on his face... -Dean desperately still wants to cling to his image of his mom. Dean, sweetie...you have to...you have to let go... -”You are not a child!” “I never was.”--GGGGGNNNNGGHHHHH! This...this broke me. The tears are literally pouring out of a cavity in my chest where my heart used to be. Kill me, please. It’d be a kindness T_T -”Yeah, Mary, it is.”--He--he...he called her Mary. Oh. Oh my God. Just...oh my God... -Holy SHIT and he threw her out...and the tears in his eyes...GOD...*openly weeping* Moving along from that first six minutes, which just about fucking killed me... -”But that’s not your call, is it? Or mine?”--WHO ARE THE MYSTERY MEN WHO HEAD THE BMOL?! -Oh, Sammy...honey...he’s so sad about Mary and Dean doesn’t wanna talk... -Hello Dean’s Red Shirt of Poor Decisions! What bad life choices will Dean make today? :D -”I need to hit something, now...”--liiiiike Cas? :D! (I’ll see myself out...) -Poor Sam. I definitely feel his pain--I’ve been in that position of mediator between family members so many times, and it’s always so awful. -”I chose this life” Aww, Sam, look at you and your character development! -So, the barbed wire fence rolling back really reminds me of a fucking concentration camp, and considering I feel like the BMOL are okay with monster genocide, it’s making me even more uncomfortable (in a way that I think it’s meant to?) -Dean calling “Sammy” and then “Lucy” made me jump. Are we trying to reestablish the Lucifer thing here? Or is it just an homage? Either way...I have unhappy feels about that choice. -HAH, goodbrother!Sam emptied the alcohol. Serves you right, Dean, trying to regress to your old habits >.> -Did Dean really just let Ketch in for a bottle of alcohol? Oh, he is in a much worse place than I thought... -”We treat them all like terrorists”--GEE ARE WE LAYING THE SYMBOLISM ON THICK ENOUGH FOR YOU YET? -Oh, the sight of Rick Worth--it’s been far too long! He still looks so classy! -Scotch whiskey...is it too far of a stretch that we ought to associate this with Scotland and Crowley, and therefore crossroads demons and bad deals and selling the soul? Because that’s the vibe I’m getting here. -Still calling her “Mary.” Poor Dean, he’s so hurt... -”You’re a killer, Dean Winchester”--First Rowena, now Ketch. We’ve heard this before, other people trying to label Dean as a killer, even though that clearly bothers him. I feel a character arc (re)surfacing... -And there’s Dean making his deal with the devil (again). Another parallel to early seasons? Check. -Rufus! Gone but never forgotten :( -Aww, Sam is gonna end up guilted into this because he doesn’t want the other hunter to die...fucking Brits. -Interesting Cas parallel with Ketch here, complete with flirtation. The difference here seems to be that Dean is not biting on the flirting front. -OH SHIT VAMPIRE COUNTERSTRIKE! -Oh, Ketch does the torture thing. Fun. And of course, here is where it goes too far for Dean. Memories of Hell, much? -Remember how I said earlier that the BMOL compound felt like the ship in Alien? Whelp, considering I think everyone but Sam, Mary, and Mitch are about to die from a stealth attack by vampires, I think it now feels that way even more so. -The Brits hide from the vamps, Sam and Mary on the offensive. Not surprising... -”He’s been there for at least a decade” “WRONG!”--Lol, the Brits and their Fake News. -The Brits all flinching when Mary beheads the vampire...I’m getting a feeling it’s going to be like that one Star Trek episode where people voluntarily die painlessly to simulate their war rather than have a terrible, bloody war. The Brits have to learn that hunting should be messy and awful because it reminds you of how much the taking of a life should be avoided if possible (a major theme this season, especially regarding the Luci-baby). -HELLO COLT, MY OLD FRIEND. I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE YOU SO SOON, BUT YAY. -Lol, Sam is all “dude, I forgot we even dropped this ten years ago.” Good job, boys. Good. Job. -When Mary mentions stealing it from Ramiel and all the pieces from 12.12 fall into place...how they all almost died...oh God, the depths of the betrayal! Look at his poor, kicked-puppy face! Sammy’s walls are breaking. He knows that Mary not only is working with the BMoL, but USED he and Dean and Cas for a selfish reason. Oh man, I can’t wait for Dean to find out... -BEHOLD MOOSE, HOLDER OF DOORS! -Pierce, I saw you bein’ creepy over there. Don’t think I didn’t see you. -”...because it’s...England.” Lol, Alpha Vampire is clearly not a fan. -”It is time you get off my lawn!” HAH! For some reason, this line fucking tickled me. The Alpha Vampire as a grouchy old man... -That AVD seems kinda useless if you can break it just by stepping on it o_O -Sam’s speech: “Blah blah yin and yang blah blah light and darkness blah blah bring balance to the force...” -Awww...I’m sad that’s it for the Alpha Vampire...I’d have loved to see more of him :( But hooray for the Colt being back in action?! -It’s interesting watching Mick and Ketch parallel the Winchester family in different incarnations--like how here they seem to parallel Sam and Dean and their different ideas and methods concerning hunting. I feel like there is a wealth of meta to be written on this. -LOL SAM, YOU DIDN’T KNOW HE CAME FOR MARY, YOU DUMMY. (Or was he? Maybe he just wanted Dean to make it clear to Mary that he still cares about her...) -Look! Look! Dean is communicating his feelings! CHARACTER GROWTH! -He called her “Mom” again *^.^* -SHE CAN MAKE HER OWN CHOICES EVEN IF HE DOESN’T LIKE THEM. GOOD LORD THERE IS SO MUCH GROWTH IN HERE I FEEL LIKE I’M IN A HUMAN GREENHOUSE! -Ooh, interesting reversal. Sam and Mary saying that they’re glad Pierce will be tortured (using Dean’s words from earlier--”good”), but when it comes down to it, that actually makes Dean uncomfortable! Look at him shuffling around! Dean is a lot of talk when it comes to being cold, but deep down, he is the most kind and humane of them all. Someone should write some meta about this bit! -Oooh, after Sam’s conversation with Mick...the framing of that shot, of Sam and Mary against Dean...I don’t think Dean’s going to be an easy convert on this BMoL thing. I wonder...will it be Dean against Sam and his mother? Will Cas be on his side? Gah, SO MUCH TO UNPACK @_@ Overall Thoughts: This episode was a fucking breath of fresh air after last week. I really enjoyed it and thought it showed such significant character growth for Sam and Dean. And the opening scene with the boys and Mary was one of the most emotional this season! I loved every second of that first six minutes. I’m still not 100% sure where this BMoL plot is going, and I don’t know that I like how the Winchesters are slowly getting on board with it. On one hand, this could be the route to a happy ending for them. On the other, it could come back to bite them in the ass in a BIG way. Whatever happens, though, at this point, I feel I trust Dabb to do it well. I’m so thrilled with the back half of this season (ignoring last week’s episode), I seriously could do this for another twelve seasons. But for now? I guess I’ll settle for getting Cas back next week!

[maverickz3r0]

Good Omens as a D&D 3.5 Campaign

Okay, while I could present a case for alignment headcanons easily enough, I'd rather have a different kind of fun and present Class/Stats headcanons. Note that the last time I played D&D was 3.5, so I'm basing this off my memories of that. Main Characters Crowley and Aziraphale are slightly confused Sorcerers. High INT, low WIS. Crowley has also invested a fair amount into Charisma and encouraged Aziraphale to do so too, though Aziraphale still puts most of his points into INT and sometimes STR and CON because Crowley seriously I don't care how many spells per day you have, you need to be able to take a hit or two. He maybe also attempts a divine spellcasting class for a bit out of some sort of token effort for Heaven but gives up on it. They also outlevel everyone in Heaven and Hell for the sheer fact that they are always off getting into sidequests and other bullshit and as a result have tons of EXP. Probably they both LARP too. They are definitely the RPers of the group and only have as much interest in the main plot as it fuels their own sidequests and plots. Have been in a party together since halfway through the first session but somehow no one notices this until the last one. Heaven No one in Heaven understands what the INT stat is for. They all think they're Paladins but really they're largely Fighters with some of them having a few levels in Cleric on the side. Only enough CHA to be pretty but none of it invested in interpersonal relations. Their skill sheets look very confused because they all have acceptable CHA but not one of them has invested anything into Bluff. Sandalphon doesn't even have the token amount of CHA; he's all STR and CON all the time. Did two levels as Cleric but sucked at it and everyone begged him to stop. He and Gabriel both have negative INT modifiers. Gabriel for his part thinks he has high CHA so that makes everything okay but he also doesn't have Bluff or anything else fun invested and his WIS is so low he's constantly failing Sense Motive checks against Aziraphale, who does have ranks in Bluff. Hell Hell understands CHA about as much as Heaven understands INT. They don't see the point in it and every demon but Crowley has it as a dump stat. Most of them are also Fighters and Barbarians with a few Sorcerers who are bad at their jobs but not so terrible they get begged to reclass. Beelzebub, Dagon, and Ligur are probably Sorcerers like this; Hastur tried for like one level before he just grabbed the fire spells and switched back to Barbarian. Oh, Eric/Legion, the one Hastur kills like three of over the course of the series, is probably a Sorcerer too. Crowley's Bluff skill is off the charts due to his heavy CHA investment and Hell has no real WIS to go around either so it's ridiculously easy for him to pass even fumbled Bluff checks. The other demons have to both already be suspicious and use spells of their own to get past his Bluff which Hastur does once entirely by fluke. Earth Finally some class variety! Anathema is a Druid. No question about it. All she's missing is the animal companion and shapeshifting, but she's got everything else down pat. (Agnes might have been a Druid too but was more likely a Sorcerer.) May or may not have a level or two of Rogue in there somewhere; she isn't telling. But she's all about the nature magic and the vibe it gives off. Another high INT middling to low WIS character, but one who understands what DEX and CON are for. Newt is probably a really basic Rogue with nothing special going on there who doesn't entirely understand what stats he's supposed to have since he just kinda tagged along for his first session and then kept showing up. Not that it much matters; he rolled his starting stats really, really low and is always rolling badly on all his checks. He also forgot to buy lockpicks or thief's tools. Shadwell is a very confused Ranger who sometimes forgets he can't cast any spells but frequently tries to anyway. He also thinks he has favoured enemies when he forgot to actually assign any. Madam Tracy is a Bard, and one who has actually invested correctly. She has decent INT and WIS too so she just Bluffs people all day everyday and does really, really well at it, especially since none of it's actually mean-spirited. Adam is a tough call. He's definitely got the Half-Infernal template on him without any real visible signs, and he has an Animal Companion (Hellhound). High CHA and WIS and decent INT and everything else because the dice love him. I think he would pretty much have to be a divine spellcaster but the idea of Adam as a Cleric or Paladin doesn't sound right. ...Y'all, I think the Antichrist might be a Bard. He certainly has the CHA to pull it off plus Bards properly specced can do some wild stuff. Pepper is a Fighter, Brian is a Barbarian, Wensleydale is a Rogue. They're all decently specced for their classes and definitely know what they're doing more than any of Heaven or Hell. Definitely all did a bit of power-leveling and used a few combos to take out the Horsemen. Other God is the DM whose house they're at who gets tired of the mess Heaven and Hell are making of her main campaign. She just leaves them to their crap and goes off to run sidequests for Aziraphale and Crowley, even if they are weird LARPers who sometimes get a little caught up in it and guys, you can absolutely put your characters into a romance, there is literally no way anyone is paying enough attention IC or OOC to notice. Satan is an NPC, but only because he threw a fit about the location and the company an hour into the first session. He stormed out and left his character sheet, which gets passed between God and Beelzebub as what is left of the plot demands. The Horsemen are not technically NPCs but they only show up every few sessions to hang out because God is cool, cause some random chaos, and leave. Death is always there, but then Death is God's housemate and typically also in charge of the snacks and thus allowed to be whatever they damn well please. The game lasts for literal years until the point where Adam OHKOs Satan, the campaign's final boss, with a single overpowered combo no one else ever discovered before. Almost everyone else flips their collective shit because they were promised PvP except the humans, who were aiming for the campaign boss as the goal, and Aziraphale and Crowley, who weren't really power-leveling intentionally and are just there for the RP. God says 'fuck it' and gives everyone epilogues and lets Aziraphale and Crowley bullshit away their executions even though statistically they could fight their way out easily without all that. Heaven and Hell go even more bonkers but then Death brings in drinks and everyone calms down and decides to never, ever do this again. God then calls everyone cabs home and when Crowley refuses to leave his car, she lets him and Aziraphale crash in the spare room.