#which means i need to clean. blegh.

[orcelito]

Salty bitch in me sooooo satisfied by the fact that I probably make more money than the person who made my life hell last year lmfaooooo

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 18

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: The wizard is finally here, and he is hot.

Author’s Note: Here’s the portrait mod I use for Rasmodius, which is how he’s intended to be pictured in this work! 

And here’s a visual reference, for those who don’t mod:

Enjoy and take care x

Edit: Almost forgot to add, the tower interior is loosely based off how it looks in SVE. It’s much livelier than the vanilla version :’)

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

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I’ve spent the past few days cleaning up a bit, and convinced Robin — with promises of tons of wood and fresh peaches, whenever the fruit saplings have fully grown in — to help me clear out the majority of the trees around my farm. With the exception of a bunch of rocks, which I still need a stronger pick for, the land is pretty much cleared out!

Cannoli has the zoomies, and there’s plenty of new space here for him to play, so he’s having a blast. I take a mental note to toss some ice cubes in his water bowl later — with the wretched sun beating down on us like this, he’s bound to need ‘em. 

While I bury a small handful of blueberry seeds in the freshly hoed dirt, I fantasize about setting up a small play space for him, maybe inside the small cave on my land. Could hang some string lights, put a few blankets and pillows in there, some catnip toys maybe… that shit would look cute. I’d just have to figure out a way to get him to coexist with all the fruit bats hidden in there.

The emo man sitting on my stoop speaks up over the soft lofi hip-hop playing from my phone’s speaker, breaking me from my thoughts.

“So… Sebby, huh?”

“What?” I look up, confused, as he puts out his cigarette in the ashtray.

It’s just a plain one I ordered online from Joja (blegh), but I want to commission Clint and/or Emily for a custom and cooler one. If they’re up for it. I know I don’t, like, have to give him anything in return for my sick bouquet, but the idea always pops into my mind.

“You called me Sebby unironically last week. I forgot to ask about that.” 

God, I’d forgotten about that. Not, like… the fucking part. Obviously. I mean the ~Sebby~ part. I was having the time of my life, the absolute last thing on my mind was how to address him. I blush, recalling that day. 

“Yeahhh, sorry. I didn’t really mean to.”

“You could call me that if you want, you know…”

Having just finished a row of seeds, I flip around to face the next one. “That’s a high honor,” I tease, “You sure I’m worthy of it?”

“You could call me anything with a moan like that, (y/n).”

I roll my eyes and snort at his horny remark and try to come up with something witty, ignoring how secretly proud I feel. “What if I were to call you… I dunno. Shitballs?” 

Perfect. Yes. 10/10 idea, (y/n). You’re so smart!

“Then I’d take back everything I just said.”

“Booooo,” I heckle, laughing at his absolutely fed up expression. “What about Bash?”

“Bash?”

“Yeah, like Se-Bash-tian, ya know?”

He hums in thought. “Honestly, I don’t hate it.”

“…What if I pull a 180 and start calling you ‘darling’ and stuff?”

“Don’t push your luck, princess.”

Chills run down my spine. “Mmm.” A low, demonic chuckle emits from Seb at my reaction. A hot one. It’s not helping me simmer down at all. Without looking back to show my annoyance, I respond, “I’d rather finish up the last of this planting than feel things right now, so if you don’t shut the fuck up over ther—“

I’m cut off by a light flick to the back of my head.

“Ack!” I gasp. “Ya creep… your footsteps are so quiet.” I hover my hand over the area that my hat won’t block the sun from, and look up at the culprit.

He doesn’t respond verbally, simply winking at me instead. He kneels down next to me, using his bare hands to work a bowl into the soil. Reaching around to the basket on the opposite side of me, he steals a pack of seeds and gets to work.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping.”

I grin and continue, scooting over to the next spot. “Well yeah, but like, you don’t have to do this. Could just hang out inside or something if you want to. I don’t care.”

“Maybe I want to help.”

I shoot him a quick, cocky grin. “What got you so keen on farming all of the sudden, hm?”

”Don’t worry about it.”

That sounded a little sheepish, almost. His cheeks are looking awfully pink too, but I can’t tell if it’s sunburn or blush. I decide to spare him.

“Fineee.” I sigh, thinking of how the only way that this moment could be better would be if the sun wasn’t so fucking hot today. “Thank you… Bash.”

“Hey, what’d I say about pushing your luck just now? Hm?” Seb scolds while I snicker to myself.

“What?! You literally just said you like that one.” I flick some dirt at him, and he scoffs. 

“I don’t like the way you said it.” 

“Whatever Bastion.”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t, actually.”

He groans while I snicker, moving onto the next and last row. He follows shortly after, but crouches behind me this time instead of helping. I think he’s feeling needy for my attention, which would be more adorable if I didn’t want to work. His fingers trail along my sweaty back, covered only by a black sports bra. 

“Whatcha doin’ back there?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Aren’t I, like, a little icky for this though?”

Not looking back, I notice Seb’s shadow, as he shakes his head above my own. “Somehow you’re still cute, all covered in sweat.” 

“Gross,” I whine as if I’m not a little flustered by the compliment. “Well, I’ve gotta shimmy over a little, so move,” I add, wiggling Seb’s hands off of me.

I scoot. He scoots too and keeps touching me. This time, his hands are brushing my hips… toying with the waistband of my light blue gym shorts… slipping into the waistband. 

“Mmm— You’re awfully distracting…” I breathe out, flustered. 

“Fine, I’ll stop.”

I laugh and shake my head as he steals my straw hat off my noggin. 

He plops down at the end of the row of soon-to-be crops I’m tending to. When I glance up, I’m not expecting to be super attracted to Seb in a straw hat. How foolish of me. How could I forget that he could look hot in literally anything?

He’s leaning back, propped up on his elbows, watching Cannoli explore in the distance. His short sleeved, black, button-down shirt is fully open, showing off his torso as well as the long chain that was hidden underneath the fabric. Looks like thin, silver barbed wire. Both of Seb’s legs are out in front of him, his right crossed over the left, as his rolled up pants expose some of his calves. His bangs are pinned back too, although that’s mostly hidden now thanks to my hat.

He’s way out of my league. Dude looks so frickin’ cool, without even trying…

Catching me looking, Seb tilts his head, smirks and raises a brow. I look away immediately, bashfully admitting, “You look hot…” 

“Didn’t you just shoo me away for ogling?” He squints at my rosy face as I look back down, nodding in defeat. “Back to work, (y/l/n).”

I rush through the last row before literally throwing myself at Seb. I wrap my arms around his neck and straddle his hips, knocking him off his elbows.

“Oh my god you’re so moist.”

I giggle mischievously and respond in the most seductive tone I can manage. “Embrace the sweat, baby. I thought you liked it.” I cut myself off with more laughter.

“You fucking goblin!” Seb growls. He tumbles us over so that he’s on top of me, picks me up with a grunt, and begins to fucking speed-walk towards one of the many ponds in my yard.

“H-hey, easy there buddy!” I try to wiggle from his grasp, eyes wide.

He wouldn’t throw me in, would he?

…Would he? 

“Let’s not noT BE HASTY NO—“

SPLASH

_______________

After Seb and I cleaned ourselves up from gardening and impromptu swimming (amongst other things, heheheh), we invited Sam to hang out. I feel cozier having more than one person over at a time, now that I have the seating for it.

I finally got some actual furniture, meaning the cabin looks more lived in. Still haven’t followed through with getting a kotatsu yet, but as soon as I can find one I like, you can bet your ass it’s going right where this table is.

We’d planned on playing some games, but instead, we’ve just been loafing around with cold, sugary drinks and a bunch of snacks Sam brought over from a subscription box he’s trying out. After a short silence, a frustrated thought comes to my mind. 

“I wanna be friends with Abigail!” I exclaim, slamming a fist on the table.

Seb silently looks at me with wide eyes while Sam clutches his heart, letting out a big huff. 

“That was so aggressive.” Sam sighs.

“Sorry. Got amped.”

“That’s gonna be a lot of work, you know,” Sebastian points out, a matcha flavored Pocky hanging from his lips. “She’s not a fan of most women.”

Sam nudges him. “Especially the ones who take her wittle Sebbykins away from her.”

I wince and mumble, “Gross,” before sipping some lemonade.

While Seb shoves him back, I explain myself. “I know it’ll be tough, but like, I wanna be able to hang out with all of you. Just… you know. Without running the risk of becoming a victim to some weird yandere outrage.”

The two of them nod, Sam adding a shrug and head-tilt of understanding to his. 

My attention is stolen momentarily by Cannoli, yelling for a water refill. Stretching my arms over my head and then behind my back, I leave my chair to oblige.

I shout over the running water in the kitchen, “Got any leads for me?”

“Well, she likes video games and food,” Sam suggests.

“She’s super into the idea of adventuring. Not sure if she’d actually be able to handle the mines or anything, though,” Seb adds on.

“Oh yeah,” Sam nods, “She practices with her wooden sword in the cemetery sometimes. Scared the crud outta me the first few times I found her out there.”

Placing the bowl down, I return to my spot, stealing a taiyaki snack from the box as I sit. “Why the cemetery?“ I ask.

“She has to sneak out to practice at night, and it’s close to her house,” Seb says. “Pierre is traditional. If something isn’t ladylike and Abby takes interest, he shuts it down.” 

I wonder if her aversion to women stems from an embedded defiance towards Pierre. This isn’t the time to psychoanalyze, though.

“Hmm…” I wonder aloud, “I could try and take her on a secret adventure, maybe. I’ve been wondering about that creepy tower in the forest a lot. Do you guys think she’d be into scoping it out?”

Seb nods, “Well… yeah, she’d love that.” Him and Sam look at one another, grimacing slightly. Ugh. There’s gonna be a catch to this.

“Go on,” I deadpan.

“Do you know how to wield a sword or anything?” Sam blurts out. “Nobody knows who or what is in there. What if you two get hurt?” 

“Yes, I know how to use a sword. How else would I be able to visit the mines?” 

“How far down have you gone?” Seb questions.

“I dunno, like…” I think for a moment, “5 or 6 floors maybe?”

“Oh, you sweet summer child.”

“What?! For someone who’s never been mining before moving here, I’d say I rock.”

“Was that pun intended?” Sam whispers meekly, as if he knows the reaction he’s about to get.  

As I groan out a “No, you little…”, Seb rolls a napkin into a ball and proceeds to hurl it Sam’s way. Sam pretends he’s been shot as it impacts, groaning and dramatically sliding from his chair onto the floor.

Without moving, Sam hums inquisitively. “What if some creepy old person lives there?” 

“It’s probably vacant, if the overgrown look is any indication.”

“Nah, definitely lived in,” Seb hastily corrects me. Hm. “There’s a garden just up the steps leading there. It’s really nice, actually.” He shoots me a wink and a shit-eating grin, before adding, “Puts your farm to shame.”

I try to rebut by throwing my taiyaki wrapper at him, but it just floats off to the side, about a foot away from me. Damn it. Hearing Seb snorting at my failure, I opt to lightly kick him instead.

Sam’s head pops into view, his eyes and nose cutely making an appearance above the table. “You’ve gone that close?” Seb nods back. “Isn’t that, like, trespassing?”

Shrugging, Seb answers, “They don’t have any signs telling you not to enter their property.”

“Alright, I have a crazy proposition,” I suggest sarcastically. “Why don’t I just… knock and see if someone answers? Ya know, rather than trying to just go in blindly.” 

“If you have a death wish, sure! Go for it!” 

I squint at Sam, who’s still on the ground. “A death wish— bro, it’s probably just some shy farmer or something!”

“Whyyy don’t I scope it out before you and Abby try to?” Seb offers quietly, although it sounds as if he doesn’t even want to. Makes a gal wonder what he saw there, the last time he went. “That way you’re not risking anything.”

“What? No!” I sit there for a moment, contemplating the situation silently to myself. Ugh. “Y’know what, nevermind. I’ll figure something else out.”

_______________

A few days ago, I had told Sam and Seb that I’d avoid the creepy tower in the woods. 

I didn’t promise anything, though! 

I made sure to change clothes before leaving the house. My third outfit of the day, not counting the pajamas I woke up in… doing laundry will be a pain this week. In my defense, I was paranoid that I’d be caught red handed by a nighttime skateboarder or a wandering basement dweller, so I swapped out my white sundress for black leggings, black boots, and a black tee shirt. 

I am one with the night.

…Or, I just look like I’m about to burglarize someone. 

Whatever. 

The former sounds cooler.

As I inch my way through the trees, the sound of crickets and cicadas are deafening, but in a peaceful sorta way. Maybe I’ll camp out here sometime.

The closer I get to my destination, the more… weird I feel. It’s that same uncomfortable pull I felt at the Flower Dance, towards that creepy hooded person.  If I’m recalling correctly, I felt a similar gravitation during my last endeavors in Cindersap. Like something is controlling me, in an effort to lure me in. Bloodbending me towards the tower. Punishing me with a nasty head and stomach ache if I refuse it.

With the structure now in my sight, my stomach is in knots from nerves. Seb’s reluctant offer to go here before me flashes through my mind, giving me second thoughts. He’s only human, but it’s rare he really seems scared about much of anything. What had him so silently irked about this place?

I take a deep breath, and continue my mission anyway. 

The lights are on, meaning whoever is there is probably awake. At least I know I won’t be ruining any sleep with my intrusion. I pick up my pace to a light jog, wanting to get this over with. 

I hope I can convince Abby to come here, should I not, like, die tonight. And if the resident gives me permission. And if Abby wants to, rather than doing it out of a weird obligation, that would be nice too. Unless… What if she uses the time alone to turn against me? I shake the paranoid thoughts from my head as I approach my destination.

The moment I set foot on one of the rugged, wooden steps, I’m hit with a dizzy spell. After regaining my composure, I take another step, this time feeling a pang in my temples. I lean on the dirt wall next to me for a moment. I don’t like this.

With some courage, I move again. This time, nothing bad happens. Interesting…?

Seeing that as the universe’s permission to continue, I jog up the final few stairs. Still in one piece, I breathe out a sigh of relief. I wonder if that was just my nerves… My gut tells me there was a barrier of sorts trying to keep me out, or maybe even entice me in, but that just feels nonsensical.

Looking out to the woods behind me, I’m met with a beautiful view. I can see the fireflies dancing by the river, the tops of the roofs and street lamps in town, and the cozy glow of the Stardrop as Gus and Emily likely begin their preparations for closing. On my right, the Gem Sea sparkles under the light of the full moon, offering a welcomed calmness to my current endeavor.

I turn back around and see the small crop area that Seb had mentioned. He wasn’t kidding — this shit is impressive. There’s a huge melon to the right, surrounded by several smaller ones. If I wasn’t keeping this whole thing a secret, I’d take a picture to send to the boys. Has big “Don’t talk to me or my sons ever again” energy. 

To the left is a beautiful garden of flowers and some more fruits. A mix of variously colored summer spangles and small, plump, vine-grown berries that I’ve never seen. They’re bright blue, bioluminescent underneath the night sky. 

My heart races as I take another few steps forward. Social anxiety aside, I think the encounter I’m about to have would freak anyone out. It’s not everyday that a person decides to spontaneously scope out some stranger’s home, and somewhat late at night, no less.

I swallow the lump in my throat, lift my hand to grasp the cold metal knocker, and—

“Well, it’s about time.”

A short, high-pitched scream escapes me. I shut myself up with a palm to my mouth, as to not attract the attention of anyone who might be nearby. 

“What the—? W-where are you? Who said that?”

A low, decadent chuckle flows through my head. I look around frantically, but not a single soul is in sight.

“I’ve been awaiting your arrival for quite some time, young one. I apologize for startling you, but I must say, it was fun doing so.” I don’t answer, and they sigh jovially. “Please, enter! It’s in my interest to make your acquaintance.”

Oh… they live here? Then why does it sound like they’re inside of my fucking brain what the fuck–

I shudder before twisting open the golden doorknob. Instantly, various scents waft through my nostrils. Cinnamon, pine, something musky and sharp too — maybe lemongrass. There are various shrubs, flowers, and vines lining the walls of the entryway; and multicolored lights shine above them, mostly of varying shades of purple, green, pink, and blue.

Shyly, I move forward, both admiring the well-kept shrubbery and the cozy decor of the room past the next doorway. From what I can see, it’s warmly lit. There are more plants scattered, a fireplace in the back, and bulbous fairy lights strung along the upper walls.

I hear footsteps getting closer, and my nerves rev back up. I pause in my tracks as the mysterious voice reveals their physical form.

Yoba, I thought Sam was large, but this guy has to be at the absolute least a half of a foot taller. 

The man’s purple hair sprinkles into his vision, slightly in the way of burgundy eyes that sparkle with intrigue. A black leather cord containing a small, corked bottle of something adorns his neck, and his pointed elf-like ears are decorated with a set of red dangling earrings. He is wearing a half-tucked, off-white button down, above black dress pants, and fancy black shoes with pointed silver tips to them.

I feel severely underdressed.

As he leans against the doorway and crosses his arms over his chest, I notice several rings amongst his fingers, each with a different colored gem in the center. Go off, Thanos.

He smiles down at me warmly with a single nod, making my heart skip a beat. Why is everyone in this stupid town so gorgeous? I think to myself. He tilts his head curiously, eyes narrowing with a wider grin, as if he’s reading my inner dialogue.

…Holy shit. I wonder if he can, considering how he was communicating with me before.

“I know you.” I whisper with furrowed brows, pushing my previous thoughts aside.

The moment I noticed the colors of his features — reddish-purple irises, gray skin, almost Abby-colored hair, the black beauty mark below his right eye — I realized this man is the same person I saw lurking around behind the Flower Dance.

“Well, not formally of course, but yes. I was sure you would recognize me.” Thank god he’s no longer speaking directly into my head. As lovely as his voice is, that was intense... “I do my best to keep to the shadows, alas, my hiding spots are sometimes subpar.”

Against my better judgment to just stay quiet, I question him. “Why hide?” 

“It would be unwise to bring fear to the townspeople. Only some know of me, but they fear the unknown presence I carry. Then again, it is possible I simply stick out too much for their liking...” He mumbles the last sentence as he observes the dust-colored skin of his hands. 

“Worry not, as it is something I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. Now, onto the matter at hand,” he announces, “I am Magnus Rasmodius. Seeker of the arcane truths. Mediary between physical and ethereal. Master of the seven elementals. Keeper of the—“

Magnus looks at my face and catches me biting back a giggle. I never expected this guy to be so adorably dorky. He blushes, his eyes fading from their natural (???) maroon into a light pink to match his cheeks. Oh my god, that was so sick?! “Er… you get it.”

“Sorry,” I snort, breaking.

His features revert back to their previous shades as he grins and shakes his head, silently accepting the apology. “Come, have a seat. There’s much to discuss.”

[thessalian]

Thess vs Good News/Bad News

It's payday - aka The Best Day!

...Well, not really, but it's a pretty good day. Just a busy one, too. Because payday is "Big Grocery Shop Day", and since the delivery of the big grocery shop is generally the day after payday, it's also a good "Clean Out The Fridge Day".

It also tends to be "Go Out And Grab Some Essentials To Tide Me Over Until The Big Grocery Shop Arrives Day". Not entirely looking forward to that, but hey, these things are sent to try us.

There's definitely a Good News/Bad News vibe about things at the moment. Well, okay, not if I start thinking about the wider state of things, because that's when I start despairing and I can't afford to do that. But the "my life being more or less together" things. There's the above, and then there's work. The bad news on the work front is ... we're having to have staff meetings. Which is a pain in the arse, particularly for poor Scruffman, because he has to have me and Goblin in one Teams meeting and then a second in-person meeting with the rest of the team. Also it means Goblin gets a look into my house. Okay, it's a tiny look, but she's a judgemental sort sometimes and I dislike thinking about what she thinks when my camera goes on and she sees a plushie goblin wizard staring at her.

Good news, though, is that in our first staff meeting, one of the items on the agenda is ... THEY'RE HIRING ANOTHER SECRETARY! THANK THE GODS!

So I'm going to focus on that, and I'm going to ride that minor high as far as the big Tesco's, which still has a pharmacy counter for my mallet meds, and I am going to pick up Edible Things. Also coffee. I only very slightly miscalculated the amount of coffee I was going to want / need ... but I did miscalculate and if I don't do the shop, I will be without coffee tomorrow morning, or at least with very substandard coffee because the stuff sold at my corner shop is kind of blegh. So off I go. It's grey and dark and kinda cold but ... hey. Mallet meds and coffee and whatever I want for dinner.

...fuck, I have no idea what I want for dinner.

Well, perusing the aisles will inspire me, I'm sure.

[thegeminisage]

ok, i got about an hour and a half to play some zelda!!! i'm in rito village cuz i got my frog armor. my map says there's a chasm here so i'm gonna get some korok seeds and see if i can find it

god i miss kass.

i havent ben back here since i did the wind temple, so there's a lot of sidequests lol

ok, i NEVER would have found that chasm without help. the opening into the cave is SO tiny

off to a fantastic start. landed by a yiga hideout AND a lightroot!!

oh! it's isolated! i guess that makes sense cuz in the overworld it's surrounded by water. i was gearing up to do some Depths Exploring though, i kinda miss it??

i notice mineru didn't meet me. so she really is only in one little section until i do the dungeon. blegh

oh, it's not a proper yiga hideout, there's just a diary. something about a weapon with blue stone. PLEEEEASE be a timeshift stone please please please (guy who knows it wont actually be a timeshift stone)

CRYSTALLIZED ZONAI SHOP LETS FUCKING GOOO

aw and a schema stone

siren call of the depths: i kinda wanna explore more. i was gonna go back up to rito village and knock out some of those sidequests but fuck it

as with the overworld i have a lot of the eastern section knocked out and have barely touched the western half. so i guess i'll go clean up in the east. unfortunately i have not been marking ANY of my boss encounters bc i didnt want to look at this map too closely so i'll probably wind up doing them all again lol

i don't know, am i taking some of the joy of exploration out of the depths by looking at this map early? i guess so, but i don't want to forge on without it, and the internet has spoiled me for the whole thing anyway. besides, they're not detailed enough that you can really tell what it'll look like once you get there. i think some surprises will still remain

i am going to turn on hands i think lol. that's one surprise i DON'T want, not down here

i guess if things get too hairy or tedious i always have my bike...it's been so long since i learned about them, yet since then i've barely set foot down here at all. i was doing koroks. so it's been a REALLY long time since i've properly explored down here.

tiny dark spot by hateno so im starting there. warped to a nearby root and found the two new ones i need pretty much instantly without even using the spoiler map - they were just hidden behind a wall

i read somewehre that the weapons the ghost soldiers hold for you, the unrotted ones, will only be weapons you've already broken above. which is stupid cool but then WHYYY do i never get royal broadswords...they're my favorites...

another mine...i guess that's to be expected. why do they all have the names of the cities above though? like, hateno didn't exist throughout the ages, it wasnt in oot or whatever. you can't tell me every city in hyrule is 10,000 years old. i guess lin's sheikah slate is naming the mines and using the names of the villages it knows? but IT'S 10,000 years old too. i love totk but the way it breaks the lore is so fucking frustrating, especially since i was finally excited about the lore actually being COHESIVE for the first time after skyward sword.

ooh, this diary mentions a hidden yiga academy behind a waterfall in gerudo...i've been spoiled a bit for that questline too but i feel better that i found the tip organically

oh. i found a "researcher" lol

LMAOOOO she's asking me to pick my own demise. incred

good GOD what is that...i shouldn't have answered...i picked burny bc i actually hate freezy more but what in the name of god

i mean i killed her basically instantly but that was a little alarming! i wish i got a schema stone for one of THOSE

MORE refinery shopping. i already have enough for one battery upgrade and i'm close to getting a second

oop yeah there's upgrade #2

and another schema stone!

ok, doubling back to check and old map mark i missed...

GLOOM TREES BAD

oh it's cap of the sky! i actually already have one of those lol but i can sell this one

ok, let's see...there's a tiny dark spot under gut check rock, so i'll get that next...

i have like. 630 arrows lol and it's a good thing too bc i got spotted by a monster camp and just took them out from a tree

zonaite really isnt hard to collect...like, at first having to get 4000+ to max your battery seemed impossible. but the hard part is that the refineries don't sell a lot at once so you either have to warp around or wait to turn it all in lol

i like how weather attack makes food useful again? like i stopped making food to help me with heat or cold bc i had armor...BUT i can't have armor to defend me from the elements AND the attack up from the elements at the same time. if i want both, i need food for one or the other! it's very clever. now i need to be more mindful when cooking instead of just doing the same health and stamina refills over and over

i really hate how hard the lava air effect makes it to fucking SEE down here. jesus

killed a flux construct. sick nice etc

found a proper yiga hideout >:)

minecart tracks??? i want a cart too... :(

sadly lacking in cart to cart combat. 0/10 stars

ok, working my way down towards the spring of power. i want those bargainer statues lol

i like exploring the depth a lot better when shit is lit up. i didn't realize until now but it's exhausting not to be able to see ANYTHING. i think that's why i got so tired of it so quickly before, even though i was also having fun poking around. finding one light point after another is fun and that requires darkness but it's also really difficult to navigate the terrain when you can't see AND there's gloom

found my mf statue. i cant believe i walked right past these before...you wouldn't know they're there unless you're looking :/

YESSSSS HOOD OF THE DEPTHS...finally.................

i had almost 700 poes so i had plenty to buy with lol

ANOTHER yiga hideout!! have i done this one?? it looks familiar...

oh yep lmao i sure have. bummer. at least i can mark it off my map :/

ok, thats all i have time for!!!

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e23 survival of the fittest (w. sera gamble)

CROWLEY You know what I like about you? DICK ROMAN Lack of pretension? CROWLEY You're smarter than you look. DICK ROMAN Oh, well, now you're just flirting.

even him flirting with crowley i can't get myself to care 😔

(i only point out some of the fatphobia since it's so prevalent but know i see it and get irritated every damn time :p)

SAM We can call Castiel again. DEAN Dude, on my car, he showed up naked... covered in bees. SAM Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that.

okay but this was clearly adr'd/dubbed over when he says "covered in bees" haha was this something else at some point? i've never noticed a really obvious adr/dub like that on this show before

DEAN Well… let's bone this nun.

i like the zero reaction from sam. just keep the serious concerned about to desecrate a righteous nun's grave face on. dean why are you like this, you goober

MEG I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here. DEAN Why? MEG Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.

the images at the top with cas in the car, i felt that in my soul. dealing with my kids 🤪 the deep breath to gather every scrap of patience. they also chose to make it look like he's gettin his dick sucked through the car window, which is a choice

dean looks so much smaller in a leather jacket that actually fits him. also itching to get the trimmer. i just need two minutes with padalecki's face...

solidarity sandwich

just get through this episode and the leviathans will be done, right?

hackin the gibson

DEAN We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!

i'm glad someone's still mad lol

BOBBY Here's to... running into you guys on the other side. Only... not too soon. All right?

i mean. dean will be too soon, when it finally takes.

DEAN Yeah, but you know what? Bottom of the ninth, and you're the only guy left on the bench... Sorry, but I'd rather have you, cursed or not. And anyway, nut up, all right? We're all cursed. I seem like good luck to you? What? CASTIEL Well, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness. DEAN Yeah, well, I'm probably gonna die tomorrow, so... CASTIEL Well, I'll go with you. And I'll do my best.

well. i guess since he's a good guy, we have to forgive him at some point. even if it doesn't make a lot of sense to budge right now

stunt baby has tinted windows apparently

CROWLEY It looks like you are well and truly... on your own.

oh, sam. losing bobby for good and dean in one go...

i do have a vague idea what he gets up to while dean's in purgatory (from fic) but no idea how it's actually executed

pretty shot, but so dark

welp. i felt a twinge of something when they melted bobby's flask with an apparently extremely hot fire, but. i think if it had happened back earlier when it was closer to all the other bits of his story, it would have had more impact. but by now it's just... blegh.

what a lackluster ending to a lackluster storyline

[forest-addict]

RECONNECTING JOURNEY

What does my life look like right now?

🤸🏼‍♀️My Physical Health: It's okay but could be better. I go to the gym once a week and try and go to my karate class once a week but can't always make it due to spending time with friends and family. I am trying to eat more healthy, more fruit less crisps etc... I wish I could find the time to take up Yoga and Running again as I know they would make me feel better.

🌸My Mental Health: Ahhhhh the big question; how is my mental health??? When I work it out I'll let you know 🤣 But no joke, it's not the best but it's also so much better than it has been in the past. Picking myself up at the end of last year and getting myself to therapy was honestly one of the hardest but best decisions I have ever made. I will continue to work with her every 2 weeks until I don't need her anymore. Right this second I feel okay but ask me again later and I'll give you a different answer.

💕My Relationships: I am currently really happy with my relationships. And by that I mean my friends, partner and his family. The people I have chosen to be in my life rather than the people in my life who I Iive with and have no choice over them. I have great friends who I enjoy spending time with, playing dungeons and dragons, yu-gi-oh, going on walks etc... and my partner C is the best I could ask for. Every day I spend with him I fall in love with him all over again and I hope we spend many happy years together as if it was the first date all over again.

💸My Career: Blegh. Nope. The Worst! Every minute I spend at this place, I feel like my whole identity is being stripped away and one day I will just be a shell left. I have been working here for 6 and a half years and it was not my choice in the first place but my parents. This place causes my mental health to be super bad and most days I dread coming into work. I am just completely done and don't want to be here anymore. I'm actually writing this right now rather than working because I just can't deal anymore.

What 5 things are most important to me?

Spending time with my brothers, friends and partner

Painting and taking photos of nature

Bettering my mental health and environment to help my autism/adhd

My Celtic Pagan path and Witchcraft

Cooking healthy meals and exercising

What do I hope my future holds?

When I think of my future one image always comes to mind; coming down stairs in pj's, sitting in front of a fire drinking hot coco. It's Yule Tide and I'm with my partner in our stone cottage in the countryside spending quality time together. Smiling and enjoying each others presence while the fire warms us. I would have my dream job of being a house husband and author while my partner goes to work. He will come home to a clean house and dinner on the table. We will have more time in the evening to spend together. All stress would melt away and nothing else would matter in those moments except us. I would finally have the time to do the things I love, painting, practicing my pagan path/witch craft. My kitchen would be the perfect place and produce would have been grown in my garden which I would tend to during the day.

How will I make my dreams, my reality?

Commitments: At the start of the year, I had long covid and it was also found out I had a Vit D and B12 deficiency. I didn't listen to my body and kept getting Burnt Out pretty quickly. I was pilling commitment on top of commitment with no time to step back and take time for myself. I am trying to be better now with my activities and take the time to do the things I enjoy. I could still be better with it and work on it even more. At the moment I play dungeons and dragons once a month, go to the gym once a week, go to karate once a week, have one Chinese lesson a week, therapy every other week, cub scouts every Thursday and coach squash to kids on a Saturday. When I think of these commitments, they don't seem like much, but as a whole it all looks and feels overwhelming. This is in addition to any days out with my friends I have booked and any doctors appointments I have which are currently quite a few. I need to take another step back and ask myself "is this in accordance to the rest of my life? does this make me happy?" if the answer is NO then I will change it to something that does make me happy and benefit me rather than drain me.

Head: This one I work on with my therapist. She is helping me change my view on myself and the world. We came up with an exercise to essentially "de-clutter" my head. Basically all I have to do is write down on a piece of paper any word or drawing in that moment that is swirling round my head. A lot of the time, all those thoughts are not actually mine but Jeff's instead. Most of the time, I tell him to leave me alone but I feel like I need to change my approach and tell him the positive outcome instead of letting his negative outcome effect me in the worst way. My truth is not his truth.

Home: One of the things I think of for home is to create a space I can come home to and relax in. At the moment my space fills me with dread and anxiety. I still live with my parents so only have my bedroom but theres probably a few things I can do to get that relaxing space back. One major thing would be decluttering my space. Be ruthless and get rid of anything that isn't functional to me or fuels my passions/relaxation. Another thing I can do is rearrange the furniture, sometimes I find when I am stuck in a slump, if I move the bed and units around it helps me feel better. I also want to learn how to cook, I am 24 and can only do the basics. It seems like it could be some time to myself in the evening where I don't have to think about anything except the recipe in front of me and that sounds like bliss.

People: Why do we surround ourselves with people who do not have our best intentions at heart? I currently have my family holding me back. I am still in my current job because it is where they want me to be, I still live with them because they don't want me to move out and 2 of my weekly activities I do to appease my mum. I don't feel like I can be myself around them and feel like I am suffocating. A lot of my escape is when I hang out with my friends/partner. They are the people who I consider my family and who I /want/ to spend my time with.

I need to take a step back and properly view how I am living my life right now and how I want to change it in order to live the life I dream of.

[cugzarui]

cleaning my sugar crystals

so i have been growing these sugar crystals and i thought they just...stopped growing at some point. and i was more than content to just leave them in their jar like that where they can remain beautiful forever

but i recently took a look at them and...i think they're still growing. just, reeealy slowly. so i have to take them out before they start fusing or hitting the walls of their container.

i've been dreading this and avoiding it for a long time because i have no idea how to clean them. i want them to be perfect (they're SO pretty), so i have to get every bit of liquid off and not let any of it dry on the crystals surface where it can make them less perfect. problem is:

the liquid they're growing in is (obviously) liquid sugar syrup. the stuff they're in - that i want to get rid of - and the stuff they're made of, it's the same stuff. like, nearly identical chemically, just in a different phase. i guess there's also a slight water content difference. but still. same substance. this is a problem cuz it means i pretty much need a solvent that can dissolve sugar that's already a liquid, but won't even touch solid sugar.

waters obviously out

paper towels would dry the crystals effectively...but they'll make a mess of them. they won't get all of the syrup or clean them evenly so they'll become ugly.

my next option is concentrated saltwater. it shouldn't dissolve sugar cuz water prefers salt over organic compounds; but even if it works my crystals will be covered in salt and i'll just have a different problem. also: saltwater will probably be equally shitty at dissolving the syrup.

there's also alcohol (ethanol); which - according to the internet - does not dissolve sugar. i find this rather encouraging because A) it'll just evaporate if i leave it on the crystals. and B) i should be able to precisely control the sugars solubility by adjusting the concentration of water in the ethanol. concentrated ethanol won't dissolve pure solid sugar, but the syrup contains more water (i think), and should be more soluble. also it's a liquid and should dissolve more easily based on that alone.

so alcohols what i'm going with. probably. im gonna do some tests and figure out how this works. i don't even have pure ethanol nor do i know where to get it (it's probably too much work anyway), so i'm hoping i can just make some by extracting water from 70% ethanol using salt.

day 2:

BLEGH BLEGH PTOOI BLYEGH SALTY ETHANOL IN MY MOUTH BLEGHTPH

i tried to purify the ethanol with salt but the different phases weren't distinguishable as i'd hoped. i thought it might be a good idea to separate them by extracting them through a straw and then waiting for them to separate, dump the salt water, and i'll be left with ethanol (since a straw is a tall narrow container. making it effective for a density based separation).

obviously i'd get the liquid into the straw and keep it there by using suction from my mouth. i'll be careful. i won't get any of the nasty liquid in my mouth parts (he said, foreshadowing what's yet to come with his arrogance).

it was so nasty. the burn of alcohol + the burn of super concentrated salt water. it didn't go away even after i washed my mouth. it's really bitter too. imma just skim liquid off the top with a spoon like a normal person

i tasted the separated ethanol (intentionally this time) and i think there might still be some salt in there...wonder if i should use a different separation agent. anyway, it kinda looks like the pure ethanol is a worst solvent for sugar than the impure ethanol! tho they both got a bit of color from the brown sugar so they both dissolved some of it even though it was solid...

it's also possible the weaker color for the pure ethanol is just cuz there's less of it...still. both seem to be worst solvents than water?

i tried heating them in the microwave to get rid of the solvent and see how much was actually dissolved in each but they didn't really like that (predictable).

well it's not like i've got much of a choice. i should just try cleaning the crystals and hope for the best...unless i plan to use oil to clean them or something...actually that's not a bad idea. i'll try some with salted alcohol and some with oil if it doesn't work out. let's see how this goes.

note: the pure ethanol solution i made had a really sticky substance in it that didn't wash easily with water (after it dried). i wonder if i extracted just the color of the sugar without the sugar itself, or if i accidentally made caramel or something. maybe a future experiment.

i'll make a small ethanol bath for the crystals and wipe them as well. i'll also try making wet wipes with ethanol for them. im mostly procrastinating a lil cuz i'm nervous it won't work out well and i'm waiting for the ethanol to cool down in the fridge.

oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

oh god.png

oh god they're stuck to the glass oh i'm gonna break them oh fucking god

ok it's loose just gotta clean it. careful, careful, don't melt it.

it...it worked! look at this perfect beauty!

i did chip it a lil bit but it worked! and now...for the more...complex...ones...

oh good they're really stuck in there what do i do...drain the whole thing and wash them in ethanol and hope they'll just come loose somehow?

ok i got another one loose. i thought it was part of a cluster but i guess it could come out on its own

hmm this one's kind of a funky shape. maybe it really was part of a cluster and i broke it? ugh now it's gonna be ugly and OH MY GOSH

it's so fucking pretty

ok! time for another one. this is going good so far! (he said forebodingly. tempting the gods)

really tempting the gods tho because i haven't given any of the crystals an alcohol bath yet. i've just been wiping them with ethanol wipes (toilet paper moistened with ethanol). theoretically, the best cleaning would come from a bath, but they might melt...im gonna try it on the next one.

hmm this one looks kinda dirty actually. is it just the shape of the container? random bumps that make imperfections in the crystal? i think so. some of the surfaces look a lot tougher than others. not just on this one. there's no way this'll show up on camera tho.

also the crystals are definitely melting in the ethanol. it's just a little, but their edges get kinda smoothed out. it's more noticeable with the bath so i'm gonna keep wiping them like i was till now.

also also i'm definitely breaking some kinda cluster. i guess it's inevitable tho o wanted to keep it whole :(

maybe i can glue them back together afterwards.

im moving on to the main cluster in the middle. imma try to get this one in one piece (probably futile). hmm it seems to have fused with the one on the side. im gonna have to be reeeeeally careful.

i could get a gentler application of force if i use my finger instead of a spoon. ok. ok. wow that's really stuck in there. come one now...jeez it's like a rock! *click* oh god i broke it i broke it *looks down*. phew nothing seems to be broken. nothing seems to be loose either tho...alright a bit more force. come on. come on now come on! *bigger click* *finger moves* oh no.png

*looks down slowly*

it's broken. it's definitely broken. it seems to be in 2 ish pieces?...i can probably fix it. could've been worse actually. coping? who's coping? not me that's for sure!

anyway. cleaning.

that's more than two pieces. that is definitely more than two pieces. at least i got actual clusters this time

one of my crystals even has a rainbow thingie

it's so so faint you can just baaaaaarely see it on the camera but it's there. that little bright spot has a buncha colors. i didn't know sugar could even do that.

alright. there were a few really small fragments left but i think that's enough. here are my crystals extracted

imma clean up and try to reassemble them maybe...um never mind actually that's way too much work. im just gonna put these somewhere special and maybe start on the next project.

[guqin-and-flute]

And A-Fu Makes 4--Ch. 3

[Happy belated birthday, Jingyi! 🥳]

[Ao3 Link]

Things got a little better in school. Not too much. What they were learning was so boring that paying attention didn’t really make it better even when he did use his new rocks so his ears woke up. His ears just didn’t like what they were hearing. When Yellow-Father visited the Cloud Recesses and gathered him up and asked him all smiley what his favorite thing from class today was, A-Fu scowled. “When I leaved. ”

Yellow-Father’s eyebrows went crinkly. “An education like this is a great privilege, Fufu. You’re very lucky.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t feel lucky. Not never.”

His father’s crinkles turned into a little frown and he said, all serious, “There are a great many people who never get to go to school, let alone have the life you’re going to have.”

“Then they’re the lucky ones.”

After that, Yellow-Father closed his eyes and took a deep breath before smiling and asking if he found any good bugs lately--which was such good timing because A-Fu had ! He got to show Yellow-Father the little house he had made for them in the back garden with mud and sticks and a couple rocks--unfortunately, only a couple had actually stayed inside. And maybe that was because they were too busy sleeping on their backs with their legs all curled up but that was okay, because he held them up all proud and Yellow-Father agreed that yes, they were a very nice find and now he could go and wash his hands. 

What actually really started to make school lucky was that they began going outside to train and use their practice swords more. A-Yuan may have been good at everything else and just a little bigger than him, but A-Fu was starting to feel great when he got to swing his sword around all strong and fast like his fathers. Up until now, no one at Cloud Recesses had let him whack anything, practically--it was all ‘hold it like this’ and ‘bow like this’ and ‘etiquette etiquette etiquette’. Blah blah blegh. Just another thing to forget. But A-Fu was finding out that his body was pretty good at remembering things, even if his brain wasn’t, and one time, even the teacher passed by and nodded, saying, “Just like that, Lan Fu,” and the sun came up in his chest all sparkly and happy. 

He grinned over at A-Yuan, who was concentrating really hard on swinging straight down and didn’t see him, but it was totally okay, because the teacher had told him that he was good! He was doing so good!

After class, he ran all the way home through the sun coming down through the trees to the Hanshi and told the whole entire thing to Blue-Father about 5 times as they walked to the secret bunny patch in the woods. He even stopped on the path to stand with his practice sword to show him his stance and everything. “I’m so proud of you,” Blue-Father had said with a wide, warm smile, waiting for him to catch back up. “You’ve been working very hard.”

“I have! Watch, watch--I can do it so fast! So much faster than A-Yuan! I’m gonna kill all the bad guys!”

Blue-Father shook his head, still smiling, turning to walk beside him with Shuoyue held behind his back. “We should use our swords to protect people.”

Right away, A-Fu copied him, holding his practice sword behind him with his shoulders all straight and his chest puffed out. Their footsteps crunched on the white rocks, every once in a while matching up on a step. A-Fu tried to make them match more, but Blue-Father’s legs were too long. “Yeah, from bad guys that I’m gonna kill! When is the next war?” he asked, looking up at his blue father, all calm and tall against the trees. “Are we gonna win it?”

“Wars are not scheduled, silly boy. Nor should we wish for them.” He held out his hand--A-Fu switched his sword hand and took it as they kept walking. “Your die’s have fought very hard to give you a world free of war.”

What? That was the worst news! “No more wars ? How is people supposed to be heroes, then? That’s not fair, all you got to be heroes! Die, you shouldn’t have ruined it for the rest of us.”

Blue-Father gave a small hum of laughter through his nose before looking down at him with a smaller smile, shaking his head again. “In truth, wars aren’t about glory or heroes. A good leader sees them as a last resort, not something to seek out. The ones who suffer the most are the people who cannot protect themselves and those left behind--and so we dedicate ourselves to the service of those who need us. That should be your goal if you want to be a hero, not the killing. It's what your Uncle Wangji does, when he can. He is known for being where the chaos is.” He looked out into the deep green of the forest shadows. “There is nothing wrong with a peaceful life.”

A-Fu rolled his eyes and leaned way over, hanging from Blue-Father’s hand. “Boooring. I wanna fight--kshh kshh ksshhew!” he added really loud as he reached out to beat up a rock right next to the path, whacking it so loud ‘tok’s echoed around them, scaring a squirrel up a branch.

Blue-Father’s hand squeezed and tugged him back carefully. “A-Fu, don’t treat your sword that way, use it with respect.” 

Sulkily, A-Fu stuck it behind his back again. 

“And you will have plenty of opportunities to fight, in the life we lead. What’s more important is to have empathy and kindness. Ah, Wangji.” He nodded to him as they finally stepped into the little meadow, bunnies hopping up eagerly to see if they had treats in their pockets. “A-Yuan!” He added with delight as A-Yuan raced up and grabbed onto his thigh with a big grin.

Excited, A-Fu pulled his hand away and wrapped around his other leg, linking his feet behind his heel. “Walk! Walk!” he hollered and so Blue-Father did, walking with careful straight leg steps all around the bunny patch while they both giggled into each others faces when they swung by and the little white puffballs of rabbits scattered in front of them.

A-Fu loved playing near the rabbit hutches with his family--it smelled like sweet hay the rabbits ate and the clean water smell of the stream nearby which made cheerful noises. Some sun came through the thick leaves, but not a ton, so it was green and shady, even on sticky hot days. The grass was thick and fun to jump around and dance and wrestle on. 

After 3 times around the whole meadow, Blue-Father shooed them off so he could sit, and A-Fu shyly went with A-Yuan over to go say hi to Uncle Wangji where he sat watching them with a guqin on his knees and a bunny nestled in the corner of his thigh. A-Fu showed him that he still had his rocks from school, tucked in his inner pockets, snug and warm. Uncle Wangji nodded with a little smile and A-Fu felt all shiny and bubbly and thought that this was maybe one of the best days ever. He sat right next to him, leaning on his leg, and told him what songs he wanted them to play when Blue-Father took out his xiao. The grownups played lots of music while they were there; dancey ones and pretty ones and boring ones they played all slow and sad. It was nice because the music was kept close by all the huge trees, like a private recital. A-Fu danced with A-Yuan to the fast ones, pretended to be underwater for the slow ones, then chased the bunnies around when there were too many of those--until A-Yuan made him stop.

Eventually, though, fathers started talking in between the songs, and that got long enough that the instruments just stayed in their laps and A-Fu got bored. Then, he had the greatest idea. He grabbed A-Yuan’s hand and pulled him up so his special speckley rabbit hopped out of his lap. (A-Fu had named it Poop-Eater and A-Yuan had named it Turnip and they both would not use each other’s name--A-Fu because he thought it was lame and A-Yuan because he thought it was gross--even though it was true , because he did eat poop, A-Fu had seen it.) Dragging A-Yuan over to where the grass was long and soft and pretty un-nibbled, he said, “Let’s do a dueling!”

A-Yuan held out his arms wide, showing him in his sleeves. “But I don’t have my practice sword.” 

“Hmph. Well, okay, I have mine...so the duel is who can swing the sword the best. You go first.”

A-Yuan scrunched his face up and looked back at where Blue-Father and Uncle Wangji were chatting quietly about something, both petting the sleeping bunnies in their laps. “Do I gotta? I’m playing in bunnies and I'm tired.”

“Yes, we gotta, for really real! We can play in bunnies after!”

After one more longing look at the rabbits, A-Yuan sighed. “Okay.”

They practiced, back and forth and back and forth, and since A-Fu was so good in class, he was able to tell his cousin that his hands weren’t holding it right. Then, that his feet weren’t right, and then that he wasn’t swinging it fast enough or straight enough. It felt great to be the one in charge, the one who knew all the right answers, for once. Eventually, he rolled his eyes and asked, all smug, “Did you even pay attention in class? It’s not that hard. Are you trying at all?”

Right away, he knew he messed up. 

A-Yuan’s face got all wobbly and red and his eyes went shiny. He dropped the sword and ran to Uncle Wangji sobbing, saying that A-Fu was being mean to him. A-Fu’s tummy dropped into his feet like when he had jumped off the too high wall. He ran to go hide behind his father--but, of course, he didn’t let him. Blue-Father found his hand and tugged him to his feet and made him stand up straight and tell them what happened. Uncle Wangji sat on the grass and held A-Yuan under his chin and listened to A-Fu explain with a quiet face that didn’t show what he was thinking at all. “I wasn’t making fun of him! We were playing!” There was a long silence, and A-Fu squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. “I’m not lying!”

Blue-Father’s even voice said, “Then tell us, A-Fu.”

Desperately, A-Fu looked up at him where he stood, still covering his ears. He was looking down at him with a serious face, eyebrows raised. He wouldn’t let Uncle Wangji yell at him.

...Right? 

“Diedie… ”

“We need to take responsibility for the hurt we have caused. There is no getting out of it.”

“You were making fun of me,” A-Yuan sniffed, all miserable, turning in Uncle Wangji’s lap to look at him. 

Everyone else was looking at him, too, and A-Fu got all hot and squirmy and ashamed because now everyone was mad and hated him. “I was just...I was teaching him...he wasn’t doing it right…” he whispered, his eyes all blurry. 

He just wanted to be good at something. Why was he in trouble for being better than A-Yuan at something when A-Yuan had so many other things he was better at? It wasn't fair.

Uncle Wangji looked at A-Yuan, whose lip trembled as he said in a voice like a wobbly guqin string, “But you said it so mean.”

“I didn’t! That’s how they teach me !” A-Fu cried, pulling his hand down from his ear to scrub at his tears.

“Do you know it is wrong?” Uncle Wangji’s voice was quiet--which definitely wasn't yelling but it sure felt like it.

A-Fu just covered his face and didn’t say anything.

“Should you do it, if you are aware?”

“...No.”

Blue-Father knelt down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You know that this is not how we treat people. You need to practice empathy--think of how he is feeling. If it hurts you, it will hurt him. What do we say to A-Yuan?”

When A-Fu looked back at A-Yuan, seeing him still crying made A-Fu start crying again, which made A-Yuan start crying again and they hugged and A-Fu said he was so so sorry and he would never ever say anything mean to him ever again. A-Yuan forgave him right away, like he always did and hugged him back super tight. A-Fu saw Blue-Father smile a little at Uncle Wangji--who gave a teeny smile back. (A-Fu was getting better at being able to see them. They were there! Just quieter.) Then they both curled up on Blue-Father’s lap and played with the bunnies while Uncle Wangji played more nice songs on the guqin and things just all got so much better. 

‘Empathy’ was a Blue-Father word--A-Fu noticed it popping up, like Blue-Father kept it in his pocket. Whenever he yelled when he got too mad or did something without thinking or talked before his mind caught up, it was ‘empathy empathy empathy’. Maybe it was his favorite or something.

Some of his other grown ups had pocket words, too--Great-Uncle Qiren’s was ‘Prohibited’ or ‘Impertinent’ and Yellow-Father’s was ‘Careful’. When A-Fu started looking, he kept noticing it more and more--when he played with A-Qiang a little too rough or balanced on the edge of the koi pond, he got a 'careful'. When he ran around right after a bath, he got a “Fufu, careful! ”

One time, he got a ton of ‘carefuls’ in a row, when he was in Koi Tower and he snuck out behind the nanny’s backs again. He went around and around in the halls to lose them until he was almost dizzy and when he finally stopped, he realized he didn’t recognize anything--there were no windows and more doors than usual,  dark and sturdy. The walls didn’t have as many fancy curlicues and dangly bits as the rest of Koi Tower, more plain blue with just some gold circles studding the pillars every once in a while. Well. A-Fu just had no idea where this was. 

He wasn’t worried, though, because when he poked his head around a corner, he spotted Yellow-Father facing away, talking to a black and gold someone in a doorway, so he dashed down the hall and catapulted into his father’s legs and yelled a hello with a big grin. It wasn’t until he looked up at his father’s face that he noticed he wasn’t smiling back like he usually was. His expression was all tight and unhappy, his eyes darting between A-Fu and the man he was talking to. 

The man was smiling down at him, though. But his eyes weren't friendly--they were dark and... waiting. They glittered like a snake and A-Fu even liked snakes--but he was pretty sure that people shouldn’t have the same sort of eyes.

Yellow-Father’s hand squeezed his shoulder as he tried to turn him around quick. “Fufu, you are not allowed down here, you need to--”

But A-Fu spotted something and he squirmed back around in his hands. “Why do you have that?” He pointed at the man’s hand where it sat on his hip with only the pinky covered by the black leather of his glove. “That’s weird.”

“Lan Fu-- ” 

The fact that Yellow-Father just full-named him flew out of his head because A-Fu decided right then and there that he didn’t like this guy when he said, “Wow, you’re a rude little shit, aren’t you?” Then, the stranger man tilted his head, his wide, weird smile growing wider and weirder. “Ooooh, is this Er-ge’s spawn?” 

A-Fu jutted his chin forward and folded his arms. “No, I’m--”

“That’s enough. I think you have somewhere to be,” Yellow-Father said. And A-Fu froze, looking up at him with wide eyes. Because Yellow-Father was never rude, no matter what--but his voice had been rough and cold like ice and he was staring at the snake eyed man. And he was finally smiling; all hard like a warning. 

For some reason, that seemed funny to Snake Eye Guy and his teeth peeked through. “You’re not even going to introduce us?”

“No.” Yellow-Father took A-Fu by both shoulders and turned him, marching him right back down the hall.

“Rude. Do you like sweets, brat?” Snake Eye Guy called after them.

A-Fu scowled back over his shoulder as Yellow-Father kept steering him in front down the hallway, almost tripping him on his feet. “Yeah,” he said, super tough, just like Gray-Father would. “Why?”

“Come find me if you ever want any.” Then, he laughed, delighted when Yellow-Father’s fingers tightened on his shoulder like claws. “Oh, what, Lianfang-zun? What do you think I’m going to do to him? It’s just candy.” His mocking followed them around the corner A-Fu had to take at a jog.

Yellow-Father had hustled them down the strange corridors until they found the sun again. He was still squeezing until A-Fu yelped that he was squishing his bones out, and he let go right away. When he stopped to kneel down and rub them, he started scolding with a worried frown, “Fufu, you cannot keep doing this. You need to stay with your nannies and out of places that are not meant for you. You have to be more careful.”

A-Fu just wanted to know who that guy was and why his hand was like that and why he was so weird and why was Yellow-Father so mad at him and did he really have candy?

And Yellow-Father wouldn’t answer any of his questions at all. He just kept saying, so serious, that A-Fu could never be around him again or talk about him and that he needed to be careful. And usually A-Fu was annoyed at new rules, but this one seemed to make sense. It would also be pretty easy to follow, because he gave him the creeps and he didn't really want to have to talk to him again. But he still wanted to know-- “Why?”

“He’s not someone a child should be around. If he ever tries to talk to you again, you come and find me right away, Fufu. Do you promise me?”

“Who was he?”

“Do you promise ?”

A-Fu had to think. “Yeah. Why?”

“Just...don’t worry about him. You shouldn’t see him again, but if you do, leave at once.”

“Are you mad? Why can’t I talk about him?”

“...Because it would be gossip. Gossip is forbidden.”

A-Fu guessed that made sense. Maybe. He reached up and grabbed Yellow-Father’s hat dangly, asking, “Are you mad? Are you mad at me?”

Yellow-Father sighed and rubbed his face and then finally smiled at him, all squinchy and small and harassed. “No. No, I’m not mad. I’m sorry.” He pulled A-Fu in close and squeezed, kissing his forehead.

“Is he a bad guy?” A-Fu asked Yellow-Father’s neck. “I can beat him up for you, I’m getting really good at swords.”

Yellow-Father huffed out a breath and smoothed A-Fu’s hair down. “I’m sure you are. But no. Just...just be more careful. Don’t come here again. Stay with your nannies.”

“Why? Careful what?”

Yellow-Father pulled back and rubbed his temple. “It’s time to go back, now--and no more escaping! You can’t be so naughty, what are you going to do to my heart, making me worry? I’m going to have to have a talk with your nannies….”

If ‘Careful’ was Yellow-Father’s pocket word, maybe one of Gray-Father’s pocket words was the grownup word 'Conviction'. A-Fu first learned about it when he went to stay at the Unclean Realm for a whole entire month in the summer. 

It was so much fun--he went into town with Uncle Huaisang a lot and hid in the sweet smelling fabric at the silk shops and got a little toy fan, just like Uncle Huaisang’s. Almost every day they went down and both got candied hawthorn sticks as they walked around and looked at things. A-Fu’s favorites were the toy stands--he got pinwheels for him and A-Yuan and A-Ling and A-Kui. He tried to get them in all the Clan Colors but they didn’t have red, so he got A-Kui yellow, too.

Sometimes, though, they would go into the forest and find a little stream where Uncle Huaisang would tie up their sleeves and they would try to catch fish with their hands. Uncle Huaisang was really bad at it and A-Fu told him so. He got so offended that he splashed him and got his robes all wet. And one day, they followed a little blue bird for-ev-er until A-Fu started complaining and scared it away. Uncle Huaisang had paid him in candy to not repeat any of the words he yelled at the sky as it flew off above the trees. Oh well. A-Fu liked hunting for things on the ground more anyway, like frogs or turtles. They couldn’t fly away and they were easy to stuff in his pockets or his sleeves. One time, he brought back, like, five toads and Gray-Father said the same bad words as Uncle Huaisang when they got on his important letters. From then on, toads were banned from the Unclean Realm, which made A-Fu grumpy. But at least he still had the 3 salamanders he found and he was learning new vocabulary words, like he did for school.

Other times, he would help weed and water the vegetable garden out behind Uncle Huaisang’s room. They had planted it together the last time that A-Fu had stayed a million years ago and things were still growing--but there were a couple beans and lettuce and carrots he got to munch on after they rinsed them off. It was kind of boring, but he got to look for worms and eat, so it wasn’t so bad.

Nie Zonghui, Gray-Father’s second in command, always had a nice smile and showed him how he could use his double sabers, which was the coolest thing next to Baxia. Now that he actually knew things about swords, A-Fu followed him around a lot when he was doing practice drills in the training yard with all the pink flower trees around it, copying his moves with sticks, since his practice sword was back in the Cloud Recesses. “I’m not certain I should be teaching you these,” Nie Zonghui said with a smile down at him as A-Fu hacked at a practice dummy’s butt. “Sabers and swords use different techniques and I don’t want to spoil your learning before you even start.”

“Well, if it’s my sword, I can use it how I want, right?”

“Mm. Not quite. You’ll be taught Lan skills.”

A-Fu frowned, wiping sweat off of his face with his sleeve, then shoving his headband up when it slipped. “Then I’ll get two--one sword, one saber and I’ll use them in two hands like you and it will be the coolest thing anyone has ever seened.”

Nie Zonghui grinned and looked over at the Nie shijie that was snickering nearby at the next dummy. “Uh, that will be a sight. I look forward to it.”

A-Fu nodded firmly at them. “Yeah, you do that.”

When Gray-Father stopped doing boring work talking to people and came out on the training grounds, A-Fu would challenge him to a duel and fight him with a Nie practice saber. It didn't always go so well because Gray-Father knew more moves, but when it got too complicated, A-Fu just whacked his shins and knees really hard and then tackled his tummy so they fell on the dirt and laughed. When Gray-Father wasn’t around, the cool Nie disciples sometimes let him whack them in the knees! He just had to promise to avoid the nards, which he thought was fair.

He would go walking and playing with Gray-Father on days where he was back from Night Hunting and meetings, riding on his back or one shoulder like he was Clan Leader--or even a King! When he sat up there, he was so tall, he could probably be in charge of anybody! Sometimes Gray-Father was grumpy and not in the mood for a lot of wrestling. Sometimes he told A-Fu to ‘calm down and cut it out’ when he got super bouncy or loud. But most times, he was happy to see A-Fu and threw him up into the air or pretended to eat him or asked him all about his day. And A-Fu was so super happy to see him too, because he missed him.

Sometimes, though, he got a little sad and missed Blue-Father and A-Yuan and his Cloud Recesses friends and the bunnies and Uncle Wangji and even Great-Uncle Qiren. Sometimes, he had nightmares where he woke up in a place he didn’t know and no one would look at or talk to him. Those times, Gray-Father would let him crawl into bed once he knocked on the door. He would hug him close to his chest and pat his back and say that he missed Blue-Father, too, and he wouldn’t ever leave A-Fu anywhere he didn’t know. The Unclean Realm was his home, just like Cloud Recesses and just like Koi Tower, but he just had a whole bunch more practice of Cloud Recesses. He was used to the night noises of the bugs and the shush of the tree outside his window when the wind blew. Well, he told his father, A-Fu just needed to stay here more often, that’s all! And he had smiled.

When Gray-Father heard about how good he was getting at swords in school, he was so totally proud of him. His father ruffled up his hair and smushed his cheeks and said, “Practicing a lot, are you? You’re going to be a fearsome warrior just like your die? Smite all the evil?”

A-Fu got that happy sparkly feeling bubbling up again. “Yeah!”

Uncle Huaisang grinned and fwipped his fan shut, patting A-Fu’s shoulder with it. “Ah, good job, good job! What about reading and writing, xiao-Fu? I bet your calligraphy is going to be impeccable!”

A-Fu wrinkled his nose--peckable? "We don't keep birds like that in the Cloud Recesses, shushu," he reminded him, all patient. Ugh, did he ever think about anything else besides birds?

His uncle and his father looked at each other. "Oh, of course! My mistake. But I bet with your shu-gong on your case, you're the top of the class!"

A-Fu shrugged, flapping his toy fan open and closed really fast, the way that made Uncle Huaisang wince (and he did). “I hate reading. It’s stupid and hard. I like doing swords way more, I’m better at stabbing. ” When he said it, he jabbed the fan forward with both hands toward Gray-Father’s chest.

Gray-Father did a complicated twisty thing with his hand and snatched it right from A-Fu’s fingers, bopping him on the head with it. “Good boy, practicing.” 

A-Fu wrapped both arms around the sting and scowled. “Hey!”

Uncle Huaisang sighed. "Aiya, another one. Promise me you'll at least still paint with me?"

Before he could answer, Gray-Father asked, “How are you with a bow and arrow? Have you started yet? Maybe we could try hunting sometime soon.”

Uncle Huaisang made a scrunchy face, folding his arms. “Da-ge, don’t you think that’s too rough for him? And... would Er-ge approve?”

Some of the happy went away from Gray-Father’s face and he looked over at Uncle Huaisang. “I went out with die around his age. And Xichen has agreed that he should have a broad education.”

“But he’s just a baby!”

What! 

Extremely offended, A-Fu puffed up and raised his fists. “I’m not a baby! I can hunt! Die, die, I can hunt, can’t I?”

“Of course you can. I can take you later today. How about it?”

When A-Fu cheered, Uncle Huaisang rolled his eyes and muttered something, fanning himself real fast. 

When they went, it was still a nice day but the sun was so bright when it peeked through the leaves, A-Fu had to squint against it and sweat kept trickling down his neck, even though the air was cool up in the mountains. They were both clopping through the forest on Gray-Father’s big brown horse, Leiting, with A-Fu perched in front on the saddle. He felt very important and tall and he kept very quiet just like Gray-Father told him to be, looking around with his practice bow in his lap. When he snuggled back against him, he felt Gray-Father chuckle in his belly and he reached down to pat A-Fu’s chest. Then, his father sat up, straight and quick, and twisted to the side, shooting his bow with a twunnnnng before A-Fu even knew what was happening.

And it turned out that Uncle Huaisang was actually right. 

Because when they got down and found the arrow butt poking up from the bushes, A-Fu’s tummy clenched up tight like a fist. The other end was stuck in a bunny. It was lying there all floppy with blood coming out of its mouth and nose. The one dark eye he could see was looking at the sky, reflecting the sun coming through the leaves. It wasn’t moving. It wasn’t ever gonna move again.

It was dead.

And all A-Fu could think was that this bunny wasn’t ever going to feel the hot sun again or eat a flower or anything.

He had heard about killing before, and he knew what dead was. Kind of. Sort of. He had just never thought about it for Really Real, actually happening. It was for stories and legends. It hadn’t meant anything before now. 

Suddenly, the nice day was horrible and awful and he burst into tears, startling Gray-Father and Leiting, who swung his huge head around to stare at all the noise. Then, he puffed out a breath and shook his head with a jangle. 

“Why did w-we gotta shoot it!? It’s j-just a bun-unny!”

Gray-Father frowned and knelt down next to him, a hand on his shoulder. “What did you think hunting was, child?”

“I do- hic- on't know! Why did you do that?!”

“We hunt animals and take them home for their fur and meat. For food.”

He stared down at the bunny’s big gray body, just laying there on the ground. “Food?!”

“That’s how we eat. What did you think was in rabbit stew?”

“I don’t k-know ! Bits! P-Parts!”

With a face screwed up, Gray-Father pinched his nose with his fingers, then looked at A-Fu again. “You thought we just cut parts of an animal off? That would be cruel, their legs and things don’t grow back. Chicken is chickens. Pork is pigs. We kill them and eat their meat, just like wolves and tigers do. It’s the natural order of things.”

This was the worst news in the world. All this time, he had been eating silly chickens and fluffy rabbits? They were dying? No wonder there were Lan rules about not eating meat or killing in the Cloud Recesses! He wrapped his arms around his tummy and yelled, “I hate it!! I’m-m never gonna kill an-nything ever!”

Sighing, Gray-Father picked him up. A-Fu put his arms around his neck and wiped his nose on his shoulder, smushing his face into his chest. He smelled like leather and the sun. With a thump, Gray-Father sat down on something, maybe a log, patting his back. “We are cultivators. One day, it will be your job to kill evil things--”

“Bunnies aren’t bad guys! They never hurt anyone! ”

Pat pat. “I never said that. Listen to me. You don’t have to like it, but it’s important to know what goes into your food. Everything in this world has its price.”

“I’m n- never gonna eat meat ag-gain!”

“Child--”

“No ! Never! It’s ho-horrible!”

A-Fu felt him heave another sigh as he kept pat-patting. “Alright, alright, deep breath. It’s your choice--you’ll be like your Blue-die and rest of the Lan. If this is what you decide, then we’ll make you vegetarian food when you come here...and I’m sure the cooks in Koi Tower will do the same. But you can’t be picky about what you eat, because you need to grow up strong. You’ll eat what’s put in front of you.” Gray-Father peeled him back and looked down at him with a serious face as A-Fu sniffled. “That means no more of Jin-shao-furen’s rib and lotus root soup or pork bao. No sneaking things with meat from the kitchen just because you get tired of it. If you have a conviction about something, you stick to it. It means nothing if it changes when you please--that’s not conviction, that’s convenience. Do you understand?”

This was obviously a way bigger decision than he had thought when he first said it. He scrubbed at his eyes and stared at the threads sparkling on his father’s robes in the sunlight as he thought. They were bright gold in the dark green, like the fish scales in Uncle Zixuan and Aunt Yanli’s koi pond. “...N-no more pork bao? Or bo-mu’s soup?”

Gray-Father raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Or chicken or fish or any sort of meat.”

He snuck another peek over at the arrow poking up out of the bushes, then stuck out his chin, crossed his arms and announced, “Yes. Never.”

With a big, rough thumb, Gray-Father wiped his tears away from his cheeks, then rested his hand on his shoulder. It was really warm. “Alright. Think more before you decide, because it’s a big change. And if you believe in something, I expect you to mean it.”

A-Fu wasn’t going to think more because he meant it, he really, really did. He didn’t even look at the body of the rabbit as Gray-Father brought it home and he hid behind his hands when they stopped by the kitchen to drop it off. When a golden Jin butterfly fluttered from the sky, Gray-Father scowled and lifted A-Fu down from Leiting’s big back and set him on the ground. “Go find Huaisang. I’ll be by later.”

Instead, A-Fu first wandered to his room and ate the rest of the sticky candied hawthorn that he had forgotten next to his bed and felt a little better. Then, he went and found Uncle Huaisang. He burst right into his room and announced how terrible hunting was. “Did you know they kill the animals!?” he demanded up at him. “Did you know that? I think everyone should!”

Uncle Huaisang pressed his lips together, looking at the door like it had said something rude. Then, he took A-Fu out into their garden and together, they threw seeds on the warm ground and watched the different birds come fluttering down, bright as little bits of colored cloth. He even showed A-Fu how to follow them from behind and reach down to catch it. He wouldn’t let A-Fu try on his own, cause he might grab too hard, but he let him hold one really, really gentle in his hands after he caught it.

It was tiny and smooth and he could feel its little heart beating super fast against his fingertips through its fluff as it looked around. It was so light and small that he all of a sudden got worried that he would squeeze too hard and kill it, so he let it go. 

The rest of the day while he played and ate and ran around and snuggled with Gray-Father, the rabbit totally wasn’t even in his head. 

But that night, after he was tucked into bed and the lantern got blown out, he laid there and thought about the bunny and death. What if they killed a baby bunny's mommy and now it was all alone in the dark? What if it was a Cloud Recesses bunny's cousin? What if they had just killed A-Yuan's bunnies’ A-Yuan? A-Yuan would cry and cry and cry all day if he had seen. 

Rolling over onto his back, he watched the branches outside wave against his ceiling in the moonlight, rustling outside his window in the wind that blew in the sweet smell of flowers. Death seemed to be what big, strong things did to littler, weaker things. It made sense--people were bigger and stronger than the bunny, so they killed it. Tigers were bigger and stronger than regular people, so they killed them. 

Were his birth parents small and weak? They had to be. Had someone shot them through the heart, just like Gray-Father did today? He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them, green and black speckled clouds of stars squishing around in the dark. Before today, they had just been a story Blue-Father told him. It hadn’t been real life. And he never really thought or wondered about them dying; they just were dead already. But he guessed that they didn’t just come that way because dead people couldn’t have babies. It was weird. 

It was better that he had his real fathers, now. They wouldn’t ever leave him and Gray-Father could beat up every tiger.

When he got back to the Cloud Recesses at the end of the month, he made sure everyone knew what hunting really was. “And the bunny just died!”

Great-Uncle Qiren sipped from his tea cup, then set it back down in front of him. “Yes, that is the nature of hunting. If you’re worried, it does not sound like the creature suffered.”

“Uh…” No, he hadn’t thought about that. “That’s good. I guess.”

Blue-Father squeezed the base of his neck, comfortingly. “That must have been quite a shock if you weren’t expecting it.”

“Yeah….Did my birth parents get shot by an arrow?”

Blue-Father took in a quick breath, but it was Great-Uncle Qiren who said, in a quieter, kinder voice, “No, Lan Fu. They died in battle, protecting their Clan. You don’t need to know more than that.”

“Why?”

“There is no need to trouble your mind with such knowledge while you are young. Know they did what they could to protect you. As Xichen does now.” 

“I won’t be troubled!”

Great-Uncle Qiren shook his head, mouth a tiny bit smiley under his moustache. “Enough.”

“Will you tell me later? When I’m older?” 

He tilted his head a little. “Perhaps.”

“7?”

“No, it will be many years. Do not ask again, I will not answer.”

A-Fu looked up at Blue-Father, who was petting the ends of his hair where it laid over his shoulders, watching him with a soft smile. “I’m never gonna go hunting again,” he said, firmly. “I’m gonna eat like a Lan always.”

Blue-Father’s eyes curved up and Great-Uncle Qiren made a little bit of a pleased face and nodded. “It is wise of you to consider the sanctity of life and purity of your body. It is why we have this rule.”

Huh! There were good reasons for rules! A-Fu never knew. 

When he told his class, some of them already knew about it, like the older kids and A-Yuan--which wasn’t surprising because A-Yuan knew everything. But a lot of them asked questions, which he did his best to answer while feeling very important. They asked him things like ‘did you see its ghost?’ and ‘was it scary?’ and he demonstrated being dead a couple times, then Gray-Father being the hunter. After a while, they all wanted to try and they ended up all taking turns pretending to die and kill each other in a big game around the practice yard, which was really fun! Until Teacher Lan Hai came back outside and had them practice tightrope again.

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the Meet Ugly Prompts-38, NSFW Danbrey?

Here you go! Note: there are mentions of blood in this.

38: overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

“One spiced mocha, one oatmilk latte!”

Aubrey reaches for her mocha just as a painfully cute blonde in overalls grabs the latte.

“Oh, excuse me” the blonde calls over the counter, “could I get a lid, it looks like you’re all out at the station. Thanks, you’re the best.” She smiles at the teenager who hands he the lid while Aubrey tries to figure out where she’s heard “thanks, you’re the best” said that exact way before.

Oh shit. Oh shit.

She’s heard that voice every Tuesday and Friday when she calls LoveBites, the premiere service for people who really like vampires. Really, really, like vampires.

Honeysuckle, as the woman on the other end of the line calls herself, probably isn’t a vampire. Aubrey figures most of the people who work that line are just very good at pretending to be fictional monsters. She is, however, incredibly good at getting Aubrey to cum with vivid descriptions of where she’s going to sink her teeth.

“AH! Hey, watch what you’re doing.”

Aubrey snaps back to the coffee shop to discover her drink is now all over Honeysuckles shoes.

“Ohmygod, I’m, I’m so sorry.” She grabs a fistful of napkins, drops down to clean the mess of coffee and chocolate syrup from the floor. She reaches to help clean off the other woman's shoes only for her to wave her away.

“It’s fine, I got itshit” she glares as Aubrey, in her attempt to get out of her space, stands too quickly, bumping her head into Honeysuckle’s cup and sending it all over both of them.

Okay, she can totally salvage this. Right?

----------------------------------------------

“...then I just ran away.”

Duck laughs so hard on the other end of the phone that he startles Dr. Harris Bonkers.

“Oh come on, like you’ve never done something embarrassing in front of someone cute.”

“Dunno, you might have just beaten my ‘six Freudian slips in a row trying to ask ‘Dird how his weekend was.’”

“Ugggggggggggggggh.”

“It’s okay, Lady Flame” he manages to sound genuinely sympathetic through his giggles, “lots of cute folks out in the world who you ain’t spilled two cups of coffee on.”

“Yeah.” She checks the neon orange clock on the wall, “I gotta go practice my tricks for this weekend. Thanks for listening to me whine.”

“Any time, Aubrey. See you at the show.”

She gets through two tricks, including the one where Dr. Harris Bonkers disappears from a box, but she can’t focus. It’s not nerves; instead, she feels like if she got off just once, she’d stop feeling so tense and be able to run through the rest of her act without issues.

It’d be a very bad idea to call LoveBites when she spilled a drink on her favorite operator. She doesn’t feel like talking someone new through her preferences, and she knows with Honeysuckle she’s guaranteed to get off, which wasn’t always the case with previous operators. Besides, the length of her calls must be enough to pay for a replacement drink.

She grabs her phone and dials. Soon a familiar voice purrs down the line.

“Hi, Aubrey. How’s my favorite human tonight?”

“Good?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that, fireblossom.” It’s a new pet name; ever since she mentioned her stage name, Honeysuckle likes to give her ones woven through with flames.

“I, um, I'm fine?”

“Did something happen today, hot stuff?”

“Uhhhhh. Um. I, uh, I made a fool of myself in a coffee shop. I, um, I spilled my drink on a cute girl. Also hers.”

Honeysuckle goes quiet.

“I, um, I think the person I spilled them on was you.”

“..............spiced mocha?”

“Yeeeeah” Aubrey curls inwards, trying to cringe away from her phone, “I’m really sorry about your shoes. And your overalls. And your drink. I, um, I wasn’t gonna mention it but it feels, like, weird not to and I really was going to offer to replace your coffee except I was kinda worried I’d somehow spill that too. I’m, I’m sorry. I just really like talking with you.” She smiles shyly, “you’re my favorite vampire.”

Dead air, then “you really want to make it up to me with another drink?”

“Yes!” Aubrey sits up, hopeful.

“Even if the drink isn’t coffee?”

“Sure it, it can be whatever you want.”

A hungry purr that makes Aubrey reach for her trusty vibrating wand, “In that case, don’t go anywhere.”

“What? But you’re-”

The line goes dead. Aubrey stares at it, frowning. What is she supposed to do now? Did they get disconnected accidentally? Should she just call back?

She shoves the toy back in the drawer, paces back and forth between the kitchen counter and the table where her cards and flashpaper are strewn about, unsure whether she should make dinner, practice, try to get off, or just give up on everything and go to bed.

From his hutch in the corner, Dr. Harris Bonkers honks, thumps his feet in alarm, then turns his bugged-out eyes on Aubrey and thumps again as if to say, “what the fuck, why aren’t you heeding my warning?”

“Aww, it’s okay buddy. Is that cat on the fire escape again?” She looks out the window, finds nothing but some mist. Mist that’s hovering on her tiny balcony and no one elses. She blinks.

Honeysuckle is standing on the other side of the glass; she’s wearing a loose green tank top and grey yoga pants, golden hair taking on the tint of the nearby streetlights. She gives a demure wave as Aubrey throws the back door open.

“Holy fuck I thought the vampire thing was just, like, a gimmick.”

A shrug, “There’s more humans than vampires working the line, but some of us are the real deal. I know a few vampires who do it because it lets them work nights and keep an actually nocturnal schedule. But some of us do it as a side job and go out during the day. Which means we see cute girls in coffee shops who we think we might ask out who then spill drinks on us.”

“Aw beans. Wait, were you checking me out for real.”

“Uh huh. You must have been doing something super interesting on your phone to not notice.”

Aubrey resolves to delete Candy Crush immediately.

“Um, so, not that I’m not happy to see you again, but like how did you find my house?”

“We can trace numbers on our end. It’s a security thing; back when the line started some hunters kept trying to use it to go after vampires, so we needed to know where calls were coming from.”

“Blegh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, not my favorite.” She flutters her eyelashes, “any chance I could come in?”

“Absolutely, uh, here” she holds the door--which has no risk of closing without a lot of force--so the vampire can step into the apartment.

“Do I, um, should I still just call you what I always have?”

Golden eyes look her up and down hungrily, “Dani is fine.” Then she squeaks, “ooooh, hi there little guy, can I say hi? Oop, okay, some other time.” Dani smiles as the rabbit ducks into his covered box, “animals can be kind of skittish around me at first. Which makes sense.” When she turns to look at Aubrey, her fangs are visible.

“Hooboy that’s, that’s, uh-”

Dani steps back, “I can back off. I just, um, I thought since we’re both into each other and you were, um, already in the mood for some lovebites maybe we could -”

“NoItotallywantto!” Aubrey grabs her hand, pulling her towards the bedroom, “sorry, the fangs are apparently an insta-horny button in my brain.”

“Good to know” Dani spins her by her shoulders and pushes her back onto the bed, fangs now on full display, “take your clothes off, fireblossom.”

Aubrey thanks herself from two hours ago for changing into her pajamas so she doesn’t have much to rid herself of. When she gets her shirt off, Dani is down to her underwear, green boyshorts showing off her legs and completely distracting Aubrey from any unwelcome self-consciousness.

“Mmmmmm” Dani crawls onto the bed with her, “I thought you were cute before but fuck, you look incredible like this.”

“Thanks” Aubrey’s breath catches as Dani bumps their noses together, “can, can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

She raises up on her elbows, mapping Dani’s mouth with her own. Aubrey’s kissed plenty of people in her life, and there have only been a few where the gesture felt like coming home, like she was slotting against a body that was meant to be with hers. All of those pale in comparison to the way Dani’s body seems to meld with hers. She gasps when the vampire cups her right breast, teasing the nipple with her thumb as she eases Aubrey all the way down. Her other hand finds her face, traces from there to the base of her neck, touches moving from light to sharp as she curves her nails down her skin.

When the fangs scrape her sternum she moans. Dani snickers against her, kisses and nuzzles her way down her chest, sighing when Aubrey threads her fingers into her hair.

“So, my pretty snack, what were you going to ask me for when you called?”

“I, I was kinda hoping we’d talk about you eating me out.”

A kiss above her belly button, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“OhgoodOH, ohfuck” she opens her legs wider as Dani dips her head between them, “ahhhn, please, a little higher, ohfuck, god.” Her hips twitch as Dani sucks her clit. There’s a muffled laugh as two fingers tease her cunt.

“Wow, you really do like the fangs.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s more because you’re really hotOH, ohyesfuckthat’sgood.” She moans as Dani presses two fingers in, stroking and rubbing in time with the vampire’s increasingly wanton groans.

“Fuck, Aubrey, that’s it, you look so pretty like this, be a good girl and cum for me.”

“Trying” Aubrey squeaks as Dani laves her tongue across her clit and curls her fingers inside her, “fuck, right there, yeah, ohyes, that, just like that.” She squeezes her eyes shut, clinging to Dani’s head and to the hand gripping her thigh. When she cums it’s intense enough that she’s terrified she’s going to kick Dani accidentally, but the vampire simply holds her thighs down, lapping at her until her moans die down.

“Fireblossom?”

“Uh huh?”

“You still owe me a drink. Whatever I want, remember?”

“Yeah? Oh, oh fuck yeah.” She squirms in excitement as Dani drops to the floor and pulls Aubrey towards her until she’s able to hook her knees over her shoulders.

Dani pushes stray hairs from her face, “If you start feeling lightheaded, tell me okay?”

Aubrey gives a thumbs up, winces at how dorky it is, then giggles when Dani cranes forward to kiss it.

The vampire kisses a line from her right knee to her inner thigh, sighing loudly when she noses a certain patch of skin.

“Perfect.”

Fangs sink into her skin and Aubrey clamps her hands over her mouth to avoid waking the neighbors. It’s a sharp, precise pain, flooding her body with the urge to lay back and let Dani take her fill. Then the teeth retreat and Dani’s tongue takes their place, licking the red rivulets and moaning as she sucks at the punctured skin.

“Such a perfect snack.” Dani looks up at her, heavy-lidded and scarlet-mouthed.

“Dani” Aubrey reaches for her, not sure what she’s even asking for.

The vampire takes her hand, rubs it against her cheek, “Does it still feel okay?”

“It feels so good.”

Dani smiles, turns her head to pierce the left thigh, Aubrey moaning weakly as she drinks from her. The moan is echoed, and when she manages to lift her head she sees Dani’s hand is not between her own legs.

“Oh god that’s hot.”

The vampire grins at her, “I get dinner, you get a show. It’s perfect.”

Aubrey watches her lick the bites until they cease bleeding, her moans pitching higher as she fucks herself, getting off on the taste of Aubrey’s blood-tinted skin. Then she tenses, tipping her head back, fangs glinting in the light from the windows, and gasps Aubrey’s name as she cums.

Then a blonde head rests on her knee. Aubrey sits up, Dani’s hair as they catch their breath.

“I, um, I should clean you up. Do you have band-aids?”

“Bathroom.”

Dani stands, cheeks much pinker than before, and returns a minute later with the Pokemon band-aids that Aubrey bought solely for the Charizard ones. She wipes her legs with a warm hand towel, gently pats the bandages into place, stealing giddy glances at Aubrey the entire time.

“You know that fucking ruled, right?” Aubrey rests her head on her shoulder when Dani joins her on the bed.

“Glad you liked it, fireblossom. Can’t believe I’m lucky enough that the hottest human I’ve met in years has a thing for vampires.

“Pretty sure I just have a thing for you. Which, um, I mean this can totally stay casual but, um, do you want to go out sometime?”

Dani nods, leans in for another kiss. She must have borrowed Aubrey’s mouthwash, since she tastes of mint instead of iron.

“I’d love to, Aubrey. But, um, let’s avoid coffee shops for awhile?”

“Good plan.”

[star-spangledstud]

MIND GAMES - THREE

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The team goes on a mission. You meet someone who might expose you. 

Warnings: angst, mentions of violence 

Note: Wanna be tagged in future chapters? Shoot me a message :) Sorry for being MIA for so long. I’ve been sad. Blegh. 

SERIES MASTERLIST.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER.

Over the few days that follow, you become increasingly paranoid. It’s your own fault, because you shouldn’t have lied to the people that have welcomed you into their homes with open arms, but lying is a survival skill that you were taught many years ago, and old habits die hard. You become shadowy, avoid team members in the hallways and common areas of the penthouse floor you all share, and stay in your room as much as possible without alarming anyone. Of course Natasha knows something is up, but Steve doesn’t, and he waves off her concern as you simply ‘needing more time to adjust, Nat’. You watch their body language during breakfast – one of two meals a day you simply cannot get out of without causing anyone’s alarm bells to start ringing – and engage in light conversation wherever possible to keep them out of your hair.

Guilt gnaws at your insides when you find yourself wandering the deserted wrap-around balcony at nearly 3 a.m., brain searching for a clue to any bad things that might happen. If any one of them figures out you’re ex-hydra you’re done for, that much you know, but the man with golden hair and twinkling azure eyes might just be your ticket to safety.

The thought alone sickens you, because you vowed never to mess with someone’s feelings to get what you need ever again. It’s a twisted thought, but the vines of its root wrap themselves around the stem of your brain nonetheless.

A month after first moving in, you’ve already figured out their routines. Steve’s the early riser of the bunch, getting up every morning at 6:30 a..m. sharp to go on a run around the city. On rare occasions, he manages to convince Sam to come along with him, but more often than not, he remains in his bed until at least 10 o’clock, when Steve’s already come back to shower and get dressed for the day. Tony and Bruce are in the lab 24/7, both of them constantly bickering about artificial intelligence and microbiology among other matters you can’t even begin to understand. As a result, you don’t see them around too often, a notion you don’t particularly mind. Clint left to be with his family two weeks ago and hasn’t been back since, and Natasha leaves all the time, sometimes for days at a time. You don’t dare to ask anyone where she goes when she disappears, but nobody seems surprised to find her seat at the dining table empty again.

It’s a gloomy day when you wake up to find the entire place void of all life. Not even Steve, who’s adamant about his morning coffee, is there to grace you with his presence when you walk into the kitchen that Saturday morning. The counter is clean, no empty coffee cups, half-eaten bowls of oatmeal or bread crumbs to indicate anyone’s eaten yet, and all of the chairs are still perfectly lined against the table.

Your pulse involuntarily quickens to an uncomfortable pace, and you bite the inside of your cheek until the metallic taste of blood is heavy on your tongue. With quick steps, you walk towards the common room, footsteps loud in your ears when you consider where they might be. As expected, there’s nobody there. The TV is switched off, there are no dents in the heavy fabric of the couch from where Steve usually sits, and again, no empty cups or bowls can be found on the coffee table. You have the jitters when you finally get to the library, which is again void of all life.

Black socks covered in small holes squeak across the wooden floors when you walk around the room. It’s not surprising to see the library vacant. You’re sure Avengers have more pressing matters to tend to than reading books on any given day, but it was your last hope nonetheless. With your head tilted to the side, you focus on scanning the titles that line the walls. You follow every shelf in the room until your eye finally catches something. You take the book with a sigh, flip through its tattered pages, and wonder for a moment which one of the Avengers has read the crap out of Pride and Prejudice. Definitely not Sam, judging by his internal monologue. That guy doesn’t appear to have an ounce of romanticism inside him.  

 “They’re out,” a gentle voice suddenly says behind you, “Steve didn’t want to wake you up this morning to tell you.”

You slap your hand over your heart in surprise, and inhale sharply, “Jesus Christ, doc. You scared the hell out of me.”

Bruce throws his hands up in the air and shrugs his shoulders, “Sorry, it’s just me.”

“Are they on a mission?” you ask, feeling your heart jump in your chest like a skippy ball.

“Yeah, they should be back in a few days. Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You swallow thickly, noticing all of a sudden how your mouth is dry like sandpaper, “you just spooked me, that’s all. What kind of mission is it?”

“Intel gathering, in an out. That’s why I didn’t come. They only bring me when they need the green guy,” he says.

“Oh yeah,” you reply slowly, “how’s he holding up?”

“Asleep,” Bruce smiles, then clears his throat, “for now, anyway. Would you like to get some breakfast?”

You follow Bruce through the rain, which started to gust from the grey sky just as you were getting dressed. You’d rather have said no, but you knew you couldn’t; it wouldn’t be polite to decline his offer. Besides, he’s oblivious, and for whatever reason, he trusts you. When he bites into his chocolate croissant, you know why – Steve’s let you in. This notion once more confirms the thoughts that have been occupying your mind for the last week; Steve is your one-way ticket to inclusivity.

You shudder at the thought and fake a smile before taking a large sip of coffee. The cafe is small, mostly empty, and your seat by the window gives you a perfect view of pedestrians struggling in the howling, icy wind. One year ago, you could never have imagined yourself sitting in a café with a cup of coffee clutched between your fingers, chatting with someone who you could potentially call a friend. The idea alone of being able to enjoy a warm mug filled with freshly brewed coffee would’ve sounded preposterous to you.

There was no warmth with HYDRA. Only cold.

It takes the team three days to return from their mission. Three long days, during which you spend most of your time with Bruce in his lab, perched on a desk-chair with a book in your hands while he works on – actually, you have no idea what he’s working on. You quickly grow to become fond of him, because he doesn’t feel the need to constantly fill the silence between you with empty words. His thoughts are coherent, focused on his project, and the lingo is too advanced for you to understand, which makes it easy to drown out. His inner monologue is quiet, except for a few angry words from the Hulk when Bruce becomes frustrated with his work, but that only happened on day two, and only for ten minutes.

Steve smells like gun powder and sweat when he hugs you softly against his chest after exiting the Quinjet. Natasha waves at you, and the smile that dons her dirt-caked face surprises you, but you return it nonetheless. Sam even ruffles your hair, causes a sound to escape your throat that you haven’t heard yourself make in over a decade; a strange combination of a snort and a chuckle that sounds like music to your own ears. Your heart pounds again, but in a good way this time, because for a small moment in time, you’ve managed to put the guilt on the back-burner. The roaring engine behind you falls silent at last, and nobody else visibly exits the plane before you make it inside.  

“You held up okay?” Steve asks as he follows you back inside the building.

You nod in response and shove your hands deep inside the pockets of your hoodie, “I’ve been helping Bruce with his research.”

“Oh, did you? How’s it coming?” he asks.

His eyes sparkle like two tiny stars even through the exhaustion that nearly forces them shut every time he blinks. He’s exhausted, you can tell, and you have to bite your tongue before you make a comment about the state he’s in.

“I mostly sat there while he did all the thinking. Turns out computer science isn’t really my thing after all.”

Steve fights a yawn that threatens to overcome him, and nods, “yeah, I feel you. I can barely get the damn things to start. I’ve given up on technology.”

He turns back to face you when he’s come to a halt in front of his room.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you where I went,” he tells you, meaning it as he says it, “we kinda left in a hurry, and you were still sleeping.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you reply, “I understand.”

He quickly retreats after that, leaving you once again with nothing to do. You go back to your room to grab the worn copy of Pride and Prejudice from your nightstand and, after plopping down on your bed, flip to the page where you last left off. You read for a while, before the idea to make some tea with warm milk and honey pops into your head, and you skip along the hallway to the kitchen with the book securely wrapped in your arms.

You’re surprised to hear Steve’s voice when you enter the common area, and a smile appears on his face the second his eyes fall on you. You raise one arm to wave at him, but a loud gasp and a large thud followed by the sound of breaking glass have you freezing on the spot before you can open your mouth to greet him at all.

Your head snaps towards the source of the sound, causing your neck to twist and crack painfully. Red, glowing eyes meet your large ones when you dare to look up at whoever made the noise, and the book in your hands falls to the ground with a loud bang that startles everyone in the room. You stumble backwards when you can feel the woman standing before you deep inside of your head, and you nearly trip over the rug when you instinctly try to get away from her. Frantically, you scramble to stop her from seeing more than she’s already seen. Still, by the time you manage to build up a mental barrier to keep her out of your head, it’s already too late.

You haven’t seen her before, and you can’t remember for the life of you if the image of her has popped up in any of the Avengers’ heads. Your brain is mushy, images hazy as you try to focus on keeping the woman from digging around deeper. You can see distant memories of your time with HYDRA flash before her eyes, and the images blur with the present in a spasm that makes your eyes water.

Wanda Maximoff lets out a shrill, piercing shriek, one that chills everyone to the bone. Thor, who you didn’t even know was there, is by her side before she can collapse onto the cold, hard floor, and Steve jumps up from his chair before you have time to register his movements. He grabs your arm and drags you out of the kitchen, fingers digging painfully in your tender flesh when he pulls you away from the scene. Sympathy fills Sam’s dark brown eyes when you turn back around to look at him, and guilt roils in your stomach when the redhead sinks to her knees with tears streaming down her face.

Your arms hang limply to your side when you watch Steve pace back and forth around his room. You’re waiting for him to yell at you, to tell you to get the fuck out of the compound and never return, but he remains awfully quiet. His silence confuses and unnerves you simultaneously.

His eyes, swimming with unimaginable depth, find your face while the scent of his cologne and pure testosterone invades your nostrils. Pressure clamps down on your chest, and the intensity of his gaze causes you to shiver. Never in your entire life have you wanted to read someone’s mind more. 

“Are you alright?” your head cocks to the side, mouth twitching while you try to find words. 

You nearly gave that woman an aneurysm, and he’s asking you if you’re okay?

“Yes,” you stammer, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Wanda is telepathic,” Steve says, “she has trouble controlling what she sees sometimes.” 

“Like I said, I’m so so-” 

A soft exhale leaves your lips when Steve’s hands find their way to your shoulders, and your voice dies down in your throat when he bends down slightly to meet your eyes. Calloused fingertips penetrate the thin material of your t-shirt, and the warmth of his hands creates a buzzing sensation just beneath your skin. 

“She was in Europe, scouting the location of the mission with Rhodey. She’s been in Eastern Europe for a while, that’s why you haven’t seen her. I should’ve told you about her.”

“Will she be okay?” you ask. You hardly recognize your own voice. 

“Sam’s got her. She’s stronger than she looks. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look so good.” 

You don’t know how to respond. You crave a cigarette all of a sudden, even though you don’t smoke. Alcohol then, maybe, to numb down the prickling sensation of firing synapses and goosebumps that line your bare arms. Yeah, a good couple of shots of whiskey will do the trick. Not vodka though, you hate that stuff. 

You bite your bow-shaped lips and inhale deeply. Steve is so close that you can feel his breath fanning across your face. It’s wrong, being so near him after what just happened. You’re on thin ice. It won’t be long before the entire team, undoubtedly informed by what Wanda just saw, comes barging into Steve’s room, ready to drag you away to prison or worse, put a bullet through your skull. You deserve it, you think, for what you used to do. For who you used to be. You almost want somebody to call you out on your shit, because then at least you wouldn’t have to hide it anymore. 

But seconds turn into minutes, and nobody comes. It’s quiet, except for the sound of Steve’s breathing and the steady beating of his heart, and you realize when he looks at you with sympathy and sincerity that you hate yourself for lying. It’s an ironic realization, because lying is like second nature to you. HYDRA spent so much time ingraining it into your brain that it’s become almost like a second language, a means of communication that flows so naturally that you don’t even have an accent anymore. It’s brought you many things, and ruined even more people.

Your hands are going numb from how hard you’re clenching them into fists. Steve’s thumbs are rubbing small circles on your shoulders, and it takes all of your effort not to shake them off. You’re disgusted with yourself, bile threatening to rise to the back of your throat while the sensation of his warm fingers on you is the only thing left for you to feel. The world is dark and cold, but the heat radiating from Steve’s hands is just enough to stop you from getting frostbite. The concern is evident on his face, from the deep crease between his brows to the thin line of his lips; he’s worried about you, someone he doesn’t even know. Someone he would kill if he’d met you under any other circumstances.

You want to go home, you think to yourself, but as soon as the thought appears do you smack it down with your fist. You don’t have a home, you scold yourself, just like the doctors would tell you when you cried and screamed on the dingey operating table in the early days, when they didn’t control you yet. When they still wore their special masks to stop you from controlling their minds so they could freely fuck with yours.

It’s an icy reality, one that rattles you to your core every time it makes an appearance. Steve’s eyes are still scanning your face, which is twisted and contorted into a painful scowl before you even realize what’s happening.

An inexplicable panic washes over you, heart jackhammering in your chest while your cheeks turn a sickly shade of pink. A bead of sweat rolls down your back, followed by cold shivers that envelop your skin in ice. The scent of laundry detergent and cologne hits you like a truck, and you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from gagging.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice melting and morphing into the sound of rain slamming against the window like gunfire.

“My head,” you cry out in a desperate whimper, “it hurts.”

Steve forces your body down onto his bed, and while you begin to writhe in pain that causes white spots to dance in front of your eyes, he closes the curtains to keep the light from coming in. His mother had head aches all the time, and she’d be in bed for days on end if they got bad enough. He remembers her clear as day, lying in bed with an empty bucket next to her on the floor in the dark, because the light hurt so bad it would make her vomit sometimes. He’d tiptoe around the house because the sound of his feet creaking across the floorboards would pain her. He recognizes her in you, lying on his bed with your hands clutching the sides of your head.

“I’ll get you some aspirin,” he says, quieting his voice, the incident with Wanda long forgotten as instinct takes over.  

Tears blur your vision at this point, and it takes every ounce of focus that you have left to keep yourself from screaming out in pain. Aspirin won’t help, but you don’t possess the capability to tell him not to bother. You’ve experienced this type of pain before, and have endured it without medicine each time. Many times actually; while you were forced to extract information from the people taken and captured by HYDRA with whatever means necessary. This time however, it’s come as a surprise and it’s caught you completely off-guard, although you suspect Wanda’s poking and prodding has something to do with it.

With all the strength you have left, you manage to pull the covers over your head, engulfing yourself in darkness and warmth to drown out your senses. The sudden darkness is disorienting, but you welcome it with open arms. Steve opens his mouth, but shuts it, and heads for the door without uttering another word.

All you hear when Steve exits the room is the sound of your former victims crying out in despair.

NEXT CHAPTER.

TAGLIST:

@foxyjwls007​ @littlegasps​ @hurricane-abigail​ @idk123906​ @ bubblicious-trashcan @wooya1224

[jyndor]

Oily skin anon here...Yeah, effaclar is great and not too stripping like a lot of acne products can be. I've tried the cleansers and the salicylic & glycolic acid serum. Unfortunately, the moisturizer is nothing special. Honestly, I've never had much luck finding a decent moisturizer. I'm currently using one of the toleriane line, which at least doesn't have fragrance. As for sensitive, red skin anon, I know they have a cream for rosacea and my mother uses one called kerium for red and flaky skin. She seems happy with it!

hi again anon! love talking acne and oily skin, and I don’t do it enough smdh. so lets talk moisturizers because they are important as fuck and often misunderstood by like everyone, especially people with oily skin. this is something that imo can exacerbate skin concerns and make oily skin oilier/dry skin drier/etc. so I’m gonna talk a bit about WHY they are important and then I will get into what different skins might need, and what you might consider trying.

the main purpose of a moisturizer is to lock in moisture (lol) and prevent transepidermal water loss (water evaporating through your skin’s top layers, aka your epidermis). without getting too technical, your skin has this handy thing called a moisture barrier/acid mantle that is integral to maintaining healthy skin. our skin’s barrier is naturally acidic due to sebum production (so oil) and sweat, around a 5 pH, to protect our bodies from viruses and bacteria.

so when we talk about stripping our skin of its natural oils, you know that squeaky clean feeling? that’s bad. it’s actually damaging your moisture barrier, making your skin more alkaline and leaving your skin vulnerable to germs and irritation. this is very common in dry skin, but people with oily, acne-prone skin have been sold so much nonsense for ages - the charcoal masks, baking soda cleansers and exfoliants, pore strips etc all spring to mind - and so often they will strip their skin’s natural oils and then send their sebum production into overdrive to compensate. this is why many people with oily skin actually find introducing certain kinds of oils into their skincare helps control oil production - sort of like tricking your skin into thinking it already made enough oil.

and to be clear, all skins need a good balance of water and oil - in fact this is what decides your skin type.

when skin is dry it lacks oil. normal skin has a equal balance of water and oil. oily skin has too much oil. combination skins have some areas that are one type and others that are another type. sensitive skin is also a skin type and it tends to be dry. your skin type doesn’t really change, although as we age our skin does produce less sebum over time. this is why people with oilier skin tend to look younger.

all skins can be sensitized and dehydrated - think moisture = oil and hydration = water. these are conditions, not skin types, because they can go away with treatment. my skin is always going to be somewhat dry even if it needs less oil during the summer and through good skin care. thanks genetics XD

if I don’t drink enough water, my skin will look crepe-y and older because I am dehydrated. thanks to environmental factors like pollution, stuff I put into my body, my stress levels, allergens, the amount of sun I get, etc - my skin can get more sensitized and irritated. when we deal with that stuff, the condition goes away (until the next time).

so all of that out of the way, what do the skin types need in moisturizers? so all of this is variable and depends on what other products are being used.

dry skin needs an oil-based moisturizer, non-negotiable. dry skin NEEDS to feed that acid mantle to prevent irritation, infection, etc. a thicker ointment is a great option for dry skin (like the cerave healing ointment I stan, it’s very lightweight and doesn’t have lanolin so it really is great for all skins). normal skin needs a good balanced moisturizer, often a light cream as opposed to an ointment or a lotion.

oily skin needs LESS oil in a moisturizer than dry skin does. that doesn’t mean NO oil, and again I do think that some topical oils are beneficial to oily skin, but generally speaking a lighter, water-based lotion is going to be better.

some moisturizers that I recommend for oily skin (besides the cerave healing ointment):

neutrogena hydro boost

dermalogica active moist - I am certified in dermalogica and while I don’t love all of their moisturizers I think this one is great. oily skinned folks lucked out.

glow recipe pink juice moisturizer - I actually have a mini bottle I use during the day under my SPF because my facial skin is pretty balanced at the moment. this does have fragrance but I am not opposed to fragrance by default (does the fragrance have other purposes - ie preservative, does it irritate my asthma, obviously do I have issues with that particular brand, etc. I want to talk about why fragrance (and other ingredients tbh cough parabens) isn’t inherently evil at some point because it’s all a matter of labeling practices, and clinique - a fragrance-free brand I worked for which works so well for so many people, is a NO NO for me)

I have also heard really good things about the cerave hydrating hyaluronic acid serum as a moisturizer for oily skin but I haven’t used it myself YET. if it is at all similar to my beloved b-hydra serum by (blegh) drunk elephant (eurghhh) then it’s a go.

belif aqua bomb is a good one, too

clinique’s dramatically different hydrating jelly is probably my favorite product from when I worked for the brand

on rosacea, I want to be clear that because rosacea is a medical condition it is important that if someone thinks they might have it they go to a medical professional to get it diagnosed and treated clinically. same thing with cystic acne (lol not to be a total hypocrite).

here are some really good videos from two actual dermatologists online who I really respect:

dr dray (so a lot of her videos have sponsorships but like who cares, she is clear about it and a dermatologist) -  best oily skincare (sponsored by walmart i know guys but like it’s a good video), 10 best products from lrp, best sunscreens for oily skin

dr vanita rattan (specialized in skin of color) - oily skin moisturizers, cleansers for oily skin, best sunscreens for oily skin, all of her videos omfg

anyway wow hope this helped!

[bssaz97]

I have to ask how did Qrow and Juanes family react to the kids in Missing for a Year

Missing For A Year Part 3

Ruby: “Miss Goodwitch, thank you so much!” *Large Anime Tears fall down her face*

Glynda: “You’re welcome Miss Rose, although I do recommend keeping a closer watch of your children while at events in the future.”

Both Ruby and Jaune nodded rapidly to her sound advice, who will make sure to take the advice to heart.

Ruby/Jaune: “We promise we will!”

Glynda: “Good. Now.” *lifts up her riding crop directly at the ice block*

*CRACK!*

The ice prison around the two newlyweds had been broken apart, freeing them so that the two can freely move again. Much to the joy of the two leaders and displeasure of a disgruntled ice queen.

Qrow: *approaching* “Well I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Does it kiddo.”

Ruby: “Uncle Qrow!” *petal bursts out of the ice cube and launches herself at him*

Qrow: “Oof!” *catches her while laughing* “Geez pipsqueak! I’m not as young as I use to be, you could be a little gentler...”

Ruby: “Sorry I’m just so excited to see you again!”

Qrow: *hugs her tightly* “Yeah me too.”

Ruby: “I’m sorry it took so long.” *hangs head in shame*

Qrow: “Hey none of that alright. What’s happened has happened, no use in crying over spilled milk. Just seeing that you’re alive and well is all I need.”

Ruby: “You too. I know we’ve been gone for awhile but we missed you all so very much and I wished we could’ve come back sooner to you all.”

Qrow: “Well maybe remember to stamp your letters next time.” *he jokes*

Ruby: “It was a honest mistake!”

Qrow: *laughs and ruffles her hair* “Whatever you say kiddo.”

Ruby: “Meanie...to think I almost named one of my children after you.”

Qrow: “Probably a good call that you didn’t. Don’t need to have a kid named after me until I’m at least in the grave.”

Ruby: “Oh ha-ha.”

Jaune finished swiping of all the ice residue on his person then rubs his hands together rapidly to warm them up. Being trapped in a large ice cube wasn’t very comfortable in the least. His mother helps her son by removing her scarf and wrapping it around his hands.

June: “Are you alright sweetie?”

Jaune: “Yeah just a bit frosty.”

Yang: “...Did he?”

Taiyang: “I think he just did.”

Jaune: “What? I can make puns too. You all didn’t originate them.”

Taiyang: “Ok fair enough.”

Jaune: “Oh yeah by the way...are we cool?” *gestures between himself and his father-in-law*

Taiyang: “Well considering that you pretty much married my daughter behind our family’s back, I should be furious. But since you’ve already made me a grandfather I can’t really stay mad at you.”

Jaune: “Really?”

Taiyang: “No.”

Jaune: “Figured.”

Taiyang: *laughs* “Relax kid, I’m just messing with you. Glad to have you in the family.”

Jaune: “Thanks.” *smiles*

June: “Speaking of grandchildren...YOINK!” *takes an infant Rowan/Summer from Taiyang and Yang*

Taiyang/Yang: “Hey!”

June: “Hello my little darlings~ I’m so happy to meet you two. Look at how big you two are already. I’m your Granny June and I love you both so much! Oh you’re both so cute~” *she coos as she cradled the two infants rocking them to and fro*

Jaune: “Uh mom, I know you’re excited about your new grandchildren but you should really-.”

June: “Oh come now Jaune I’ve raised eight kids including you so I think have this under-!”

Summer: *gurgling noises with her face turning green*

June: “...oh no.” *face paled*

*BLEEEGH!*

What Jaune tried to warn his mother about was that Summer was unfortunately cursed with his inherited motion sickness. As such Summer did not like to be rocked otherwise it would lead to her spit up all over said person’s shirt.

June: “....oh dear.” *looks down at her ruined dress*

Ruby: *gasp!* “Mrs. Arc I’m so sorry!” *grabs a tissue and tries to clean it off*

Jaune: “I tried to warn you.”

June: “That’s ok, this isn’t something I haven’t gone through before. Although I would be more than grateful if you could take back these two while I get cleaned up.” *handing their babies back to them*

Ruby: “Are you sure you don’t want me to help? I feel really bad.”

June: “It’s alright dear. I’ve raised eight children after all, so there’s nothing to worry about. Jaune, be a dear and introduce your children to the rest of the family before your sisters complain about not seeing their new niece and nephew, ok?”

Jaune: “Sure.”

As June Arc was making her leave most, of not all of Jaune’s sisters swarmed them just as she said they would.

Rouge: “Oh my goodness look at you two!”

Saphron: “You’re so small and look so cute!”

Vert: “What’s their names little bro?”

Jaune: “Uh, This is Rowan and Summer.” *points at each of his children*

Bleu: “Do they have all their necessary shots?” *adjusts her glasses*

Jaune: “What? No, they’re barely three months old!”

Noir: “Why didn’t you tell us you two eloped?”

Blanc: “And how did you get pregnant so fast?”

Ruby: “W-Well we wanted to marry after the war so that’s what we did.”

Violet: “How can you tell which is a boy and girl?”

Arc Siblings/Ruby: .....

Violet: “What? It’s a legitimate question.” *shrinks in embarrassment*

Nicholas: “Girls.”

At the sound of his voice all the Arc women made way for the patriarch of their family. He walked towards the brand new couple/parents, his towering figure nearly encompassing them in shadow.

Nicholas: “Son.”

Jaune: “Hey Dad...long time no see. Heh”

Arc Sisters: *winces*

Terra: *facepalms*

Ruby: *whispering* “Really?”

Jaune: “Uhhh. So! ...How are you?”

Saphron: *mouthing ‘NO!’*

Jaune: “I mean. What I mean to say is-!”

Nicholas: “Stop.” *raises his palm*

Jaune: 0x0

Nicholas: “What’s done is done. There’s no use to bringing up the past.”

Jaune: “Right...”

Nicholas: “But I am very happy to see you alive.....and apparently with a wife and children.” *rests his raised hand on Jaune’s shoulder*

Jaune: “...Thanks Dad.”

Nicholas: *nods then removes his hand* “So if I heard correctly, this one is Rowan and this one is Summer right?” *gestures to the two infants*

Ruby: “Yessir. My tiny little blessings.”

Nicholas: “...heh. I see you’ve adopted June’s nicknaming habit.”

Ruby: “Yep.”

Nicholas: “Mm. Looks like you have a keeper my son.”

Jaune: “I’m lucky to have her.” *one arm hugged Ruby*

Ruby: *smiles*

Nicholas: “Good. Don’t do anything stupid to mess it up. You hear me boy.”

Jaune: “Wouldn’t dream of it sir.”

Rowan/Summer: “Ahh!” *make curious baby noises*

Nicholas looks down to see both Rowan and Summer then bends his knees, lowering his large frame to look into the little ones. They looked at the older Arc curiously, looking at his aged but still strong facial features and Summer was brave enough to reach out touch the older man’s beard. This caused Summer to giggle as the hair tickled her tiny fingers, causing Nicholas to laugh softly at the child’s pure laughter. Rowan followed soon after Summer and he giggled as well once he felt Nicholas’ beard.

Nicholas: “Hello little ones, I am your grandpa. I am pleased to meet you.” *he said with what could be called a genuine smile*

Ruby: “ohhhh” *she watches the display in amazement* <3

Qrow: “WOW Nicky, I think you just made a genuine smile on your face.”

Nicholas: “Qrow...”

Qrow: “Hey don’t scare the babies now! They’re impressionable.” *while smirking*

Ruby: “Qrow be nice.” *she chides her honorary uncle/mentor*

Qrow: *raises his hands in mock surrender*

Ruby: “Hey Rowan, look this my Uncle Qrow. Isn’t he cool?”

Rowan: *head tilts* “Ah?”

Ruby: “Yes he’s the coolest uncle ever. You want him to hold you?”

Qrow: “Uh Ruby I don’t-.”

Ruby: “Here you go.” *moves Rowan into his arms*

Qrow: “Wait Ruby don’t-! Ok here we go. Uh hey there kid. Nice to...meet you.”

Rowan: ....

Ruby: “It’s ok Qrow, he’s only a baby. He won’t bite.”

Qrow: “Right. Um, heh, You look a lot like your mom. Kinda surprised that your supposed to be the boy.”

Rowan: .... *hrk!* *BLEGH!*

Qrow eyes widen but it was already too late, all he could do was look down and see that Rowan had just spit up all over his new shirt. Both parents gave nervous looks but also tried not to laugh at Qrow’s expense. Taiyang, Yang, Nicholas, and the seven Arc sisters, however, did not follow their example, laughing their guts out.

Rowan: *giggles and points at Qrow*

Qrow: “Oh now you find me funny. Don’t ya, you lil’ gremlin.” *eye twitches*

Ruby: “Hey I’m sure he didn’t mean to do that!”

Yang: “Hahahaha! I don’t know Ruby, he seemed pretty determined to puke all over Qrow!” *covering her mouth*

Qrow: “Well at least I know you’re your Mother’s kid. You’re a brat through and through.”

Ruby: “Hey!”

June: “Ok I’m back what did I-...Oh dear. Apparently both children have motion sickness.”

Nicholas: “No dear, it’s just the boy knows how to get back at others.” *he smiles in pride of his progeny*

-Fin-

A/N: Boy did this one take me awhile to get done. I had a lot of ideas for how this were to go and tried to fit them all in so hope I met your expectations. Thanks again for your support! 😊

P.S. I did my best to make names for the remaining Arc sisters and I decided to simplify and translate the names of the girls in accordance to their color from the portrait we saw in Volume 6 in Saphron’s house. Also keep in mind I have no idea what the age difference is just know I did my best and this will be my head canon until proven otherwise.

Rouge = Eldest (Red w/ Short Hair)

Saphron = Second (Orange that was Upside down. Her name is closer to orange so yeah)

Vert = Third (Green)

Blanc/Noir = Twins (Ok so they had blue bows but the also look to be wearing black and white so I went with that to avoid confusion)

Bleu = Sixth (Blue w/ Glasses)

Violet = Neña (Violet, no brainer)

Jaune = Youngest (Yellow. Ok so he appears to be the youngest from the photo as most of the time the most recent child is at the center of most family pictures. But again I could be wrong but I stand by what I said until CRWBY says otherwise...probably)

[ragewerthers]

Mucked Up

Summary: While on a frog hunting mission for Sania, Noct gets into a little trouble with the bog and with Ignis.

Will he be able to fix this? Or did he really muck things up?

A/n: Hello all! This fic was created from another lovely prompt from my friend @bgn846​!  She asked for: 'Noct and Prompto go frog hunting for Sania.  One of them gets stuck in the mud. Hilarity ensues.’ This fic grew sentient about halfway through and went in a different direction then I expected, but I hope everyone can enjoy the silliness, the whump and the fluff that will ensue! You can also read on AO3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27018892 Enjoy! :D

Word Count: 3822

---------------------------

The squelch of mud beneath their boots made Noct’s nose crinkle slightly.

“Why do Sania’s frogs always have to thrive in the muddiest part of the swamp?” he grumbled, slapping at his neck as another mosquito buzzed and landed on him, intent on stealing more of his royal blood.

Little bastards.

“Did you ever consider that it’s because they’re… ya know… frogs?” Prompto teased as he followed carefully behind Noct on this little adventure Sania had set before them.

“You’re hilarious,” Noct deadpanned, growling as another mosquito swooped down to avenge his fallen brethren only to meet just as grim a fate by the Kings hand.  “And what is with these bugs?!  Why don’t they go after you?!”

“Because when Mama Ignis told me to put on bug spray I listened,” Prompto said, pointing to himself with his thumb as he puffed out his chest proudly.  “You, on the other hand, were too busy trying to make sure your tackle box had those new cactuar lures because we both know you thought you’d get to fish.  Which, surprise surprise, you can’t do in a bog.”

“There could be fish in there!” Noct tried to argue, looking out into the murky water only to watch as a giant bubble of swamp gas burbled up and belched into the air.

“... if there’s a fish living in that then he is a monster and should probably be left alone,” Prompto said honestly before gagging and covering his nose as the scent of the rancid swamp gas finally wafted over to them.  “Blegh!  Scratch that!  If a fish is living in there it’s probably a daemon and we definitely need to leave it alone!”

Noct nodded quickly as his own hands came up to cover his nose, his eyes watering from the smell now surrounding them.  “Oh… oh my gods… did the swamp just die?!” he gasped, waving one hand in the air to hopefully dispel some of the smell and succeeding in sending it back toward Prompto.

“Dude!  Not cool!” Prompto cried, retching slightly as he turned tail and fled from the smell.

“It’s not like I did it!” Noct argued, trying to get away quickly as well, only to find himself listing forward as his upper half moved but his legs refused.

Arms wheeling in the air like a windmill, Noct failed to keep his balance and fell forward regardless of his valiant attempts.  His hands sank into the squishy swamp mud, the force of which sent a good few glops splattering onto his face.  “UGH!”

Prompto turned just in time to see the almost faceplant and honestly after getting bog gas wafted at him he found himself giggling at the swampy vengeance.

“That’s what you get for being terrible!” Prompto called from the firmer footing near the edge of the swamp.  “Now come on!  I think I heard something croaking over by that willow!”  Turning on his heel Prompto began to walk away, leaving a glowering Noct to try and stand up.

“Hey!  Wait for me!” he called, pausing a moment as he realized what Prompto had implied about his fate.  “And I didn’t do anything!”  When all he got back was a cackle Noct decided that as soon as he caught up with his friend he was going to give him the swampiest hug of his life!  Once more he made to step forward and almost immediately repeated what he’d just done.  His body tipping forward as his legs stayed firmly cemented in the…

“Uuuugh!” Noct groaned, looking down at the mud now encasing his boots and around his shins.  He only just stopped himself from running his hands through his hair in agitation considering they were covered in mud, dead plants and whatever else the bog had claimed as its victim.  “Prompto!  Hey Prom!  Come back!  I… I think I’m stuck!”

“What?” Prompto’s voice called from somewhere in the thicket of the surrounding forest.

“I’m stuck!” Noct shouted back, reaching down to try and somehow yank his own leg out of the muck and mire. It wasn’t until he heard a shuttering click that he knew Prompto was back and he groaned, looking up to find his friend with the biggest smile on his face and his camera in hand. “.... really?”

“What?  You know that I have to document our adventures no matter what!” he teased, only just keeping a giggle out of his voice.

Noct was less than impressed.  “Is that so?  Where was this camera when you got poison ivy on your butt?  Or the time you spilled curry on your pants?  Or the time you kissed your Chocobo?” “That was one time!  And I was asleep!” Prompto squawked back, his cheeks going pink at the memory. “And don’t think I don’t know that Gladio took a picture of that moment!”

This time Noct did laugh, smiling innocently.  “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about?  Gladio?  Do something like that?  Oh what will the Shield of Lucis think when I tell him what you think of him?”

Prompto squeaked at that and shook his head, waving his arms wildly in front of him  “Nonono!  Don’t say anything!  Then he’ll definitely be on the hunt for more embarrassing photos!”

Shaking his head at his Prompto’s reaction, Noct pretended to give a deep hum of thought.  “Well… if you can stop taking embarrassing photos of me and help me get out of here, I’ll consider it,” he said with a nod, causing Prompto to grumble even as he dismissed his camera back into the armiger.  

“You’re a real stick in the mud, you know that?” Prompto mumbled though he smiled at the word play and glanced around for some sort of vine or stick for Noct to grab a hold of.

“Oh my god!  You’ve been hanging out with Specs too much,” Noct said with a light smile making Prompto chuckle as he knocked a stick against a rock to test its strength.

“More like not enough. He would’ve had at least seven bog and mud induced puns at the ready,” the gunner joked, trying to carefully make his way closer to Prince, picking his way along the more sturdy edges of the swamp.  

Noct contemplated that as he tried to twist a little to better face Prompto as he moved.  “I mean… you’re not wrong.  He would’ve been having a field day here,” he said, imagining Ignis with that look of slight disapproval at his mistake mixed with delight at such an easy target to tease.  For all that people thought they knew about Ignis, no one ever pegged him for having a wicked teasing streak.

“Yeah.  He probably would’ve said something like… ‘Oh Noct… I do hope you aren’t feeling ‘bogged’ down.’” Prompto said, pitching his voice a little lower and trying to go for Tenebrean, but hitting something that sounded more like the worlds most obnoxious snobbish royal.

Noct instantly snorted into a ridiculous laugh and shook his head. “A-Astrals that’s terrible!” Noct laughed, shaking his head.  “Besides you didn’t add enough Iggy into it.”

“Oh?  Well then go ahead, master of impressions.  How would Ignis respond?” Prompto chuckled, looking down at his feet as he finally found what he considered to be as a good a place as any to brace himself.

Noct hummed in thought for a moment before puffing his chest out a bit and putting his hands on his hips, one of his hands coming up to push up non-existent glasses.  “Noctis, do you know how terribly terrible those stains are going to be to get out?” he spoke, his own voice tipped into a deeper Tenebrean accent that sounded like a drunk version of Ignis.

Prompto instantly burst into a cackle at the sound, the force of his laughter making him hunch over and needing the support of his rescue stick to keep him upright.  “O-Oh my gahahads!  What was thahat?!  It w-wasn’t even a pun!  You were j-just berating yourself!” Prompto wheezed.

Noct couldn’t help laughing a bit as well and smiled over at his best friend.  “What?!  Tell me I’m wrong!” he called over Prompto’s laughter.  “And you know that’s what I’m gonna hear when I get out of here!  ‘Oh Noctis, what am I going to do with these socks?  That’s it!  Vegetables for a week!  Beans and shame for you!’”

Prompto was crying he was laughing so hard, sending Noctis into a giggle fit of his own, though once he had enough breath he couldn’t help adding to the banter.

“Noctis Lucis Caelum!  How dare you ‘swamp’ me with all this cleaning?”

“Noctis, this is ‘moss’ unbecoming of a royal!”

“Oh Noct, I can only ‘lichen’ you to a bog monster right now!”

“‘Marsh’ you be so messy?”

“Come now, surely I don’t sound that harsh?” a cool and accented voice broke through the laughing fit the two younger men were having and it was like they had been visited by Shiva herself and frozen in time.

Turning to look up at a small incline that led to the swamp, Prompto and Noct were both met with a rather unamused looking Adviser and a slightly smirking Shield.

Quickly, Noct ducked down, starting to dig his hands into the muck around his legs and startling Prompto.  “Noct?!  Dude, what are you doing!?”

“Digging my own grave, obviously!” he shouted, getting a snort from Gladio which was quickly silenced by another look from Ignis.

“That’s enough,“ Ignis’s voice spoke calmly, but with enough behind the words to still the motion of the other two.  “Would someone care to explain what is going on here?”

Prompto turned his head back to Ignis, feeling the color drain from his face as those green eyes locked on him like a Coeurl ready to pounce.  “N-Noct’s stuck,” he squeaked, feeling just a little stupid now for holding onto the stick he’d found to rescue the prince.

Ignis arched an eyebrow at this and turned his attention back to the young Prince who had finally stopped digging in the mud and was looking anywhere but at them with his arms crossed over his chest.  “Is that true, Noct?” he asked.

“..... maybe,” Noct mumbled petulantly, mostly a front to hide how embarrassed he was over the fact that he really was stuck and also how he felt a bit of guilt for making fun of Ignis without him knowing.

“I see.  Well.  While I’m sure you both have an extensive knowledge of what I would say in a time like this, let me impart a bit of advice.  Just three simple words,” he said, his voice eerily calm in a way that had Prompto and Noct shrinking back a little.  “Noct can warp.”

And with that, the Adviser turned on his heel and headed back towards the direction of the haven, leaving Gladio still standing on the small hill.  The man looked down at the both of them and shook his head.

“And let me impart three little words as well,” the Shield said, lifting his hand and counting off the words on his fingers.  “You. Fucked. Up.”  With that he turned and followed the same path the Adviser had just taken.

Noct stood there for a moment, watching his two advisers… his friends… leave.  In that moment he felt more gross than any swamp gas bubble.

“You made Mama Ignis mad at me!” Prompto shouted from the sidelines, snapping Noct out of his thoughts as he turned to see a flushed and angry looking Prompto glaring at him.

“What?!  You’re literally the one who started it!” Noct shouted back, narrowing his own eyes and watching as Prompto huffed at that.

“I was joking about his puns!  You were making him sound mean!”

Noct opened, closed then opened his mouth again only to close it for a second time.  After a moment he sighed, letting his shoulders droop.  “I was,” Noct said after a moment, rubbing a hand on his arm and shaking his head.

Prompto’s glare slowly fell at that and he ran a hand through his blond hair.  “Yeah well… so was I.  I just… don’t like upsetting Iggy.  He doesn’t deserve that.  And… we really do have terrible Tenebrean accents, dude.”

Noct winced at that, realizing that not only had they both teased Ignis behind his back, but they’d also made him sound like that.  Oh god, did Ignis think that’s how they saw him?!

Noct groaned and ran two muddy hands over his face, not really caring anymore what he looked like.  “We gotta make this right.  We will make this right.”

Prompto gave a little smile at that and nodded. “Yeah.  We will.  But uh… you might want to get out of there first.  I can’t believe we didn’t think about you warping out.”

This time Noct groaned for a different reason and dropped his hands.  “That’s because we were too busy being idiots.  Specs always has our backs… even when we mess up.”

That knowledge only strengthened his resolve as he picked up a glob of mud, readying it to lob toward the edge of the bog.

Once he was free… they were going to make this right.

 ---------------------------------

“I thought your clothes were supposed to warp with you?” Prompto said as they made their way back toward camp.  Nocts boots, trousers and one sock now trophies to the swamp.

“Yeah well… so did I.  I wasn’t focusing properly,” Noct grumbled a little as Prompto giggled, but soon he felt a soft bump to his shoulder and he glanced over to see the gunner smiling gently at him.

“It’ll be okay, Noct.  We can right this with Iggy,” he promised, making the Prince give him a small smile in return.

However, as they got closer to the camp, both of them could hear Gladio and Ignis talking.  It looked like they were both facing Ignis’s camp stove, their backs turned to them as they neared and unaware of their presence.

“Iggy?  It’s okay,” Gladio said, his voice soft making Noct and Prompto frown as they glanced at each other.

”No.  It’s not,” Ignis’s clipped tone answered back, shoulders hunching a little.  “It’s not okay.  It’s not alright.  It’s not fine.”

Prompto and Noctis paused as they watched Gladio frown, his hand coming up to rest against the Adviser’s back.  “It is.  Or… at least it will be, right?”

Noct definitely frowned at that.  Of course it was going to be okay!

Ignis’s shoulders slumped and he shook his head.  “I don’t think so.  I’ve ruined it.”

What?!  Their friendship?!  No, no!  Noct couldn’t believe what he was hearing!  He was the one that had ruined everything!

Gladio ducked his head a little, his hand coming up to hold onto Ignis’s shoulder and gently moved him so the man would look him in the eyes.  “Hey.  None of that.  You haven’t ruined anything, I promise,” he tried to reassure, but the way Ignis turned his head away showed how little he believed in Gladio’s words.

“It appears I can’t do anything right today,” the Adviser whispered and then… and then, to Noct and Prompto’s horror they watched as he brought his hand up, wiping at his eyes.

They.

Fucked. Up.

“Iggy NO!” Prompto shouted, darting ahead and startling Noct, Gladio and Ignis, the latter two both turning to look with bewilderment as Prompto raced toward the haven.

Noct watched for another second before his mind caught up and he took off as well, his chest feeling heavier than he’d ever felt it before.  “Ignis please, I’m sorry!” he shouted, quickly clambering up the rocky face of the haven to get to where Gladio and Ignis still stood stock still.

Prompto was the first to get to him and quickly wrapped his arms around Ignis, burying his face against the man’s chest.  “I’m so-OOF!”  His words died on his lips as he soon felt Noct running into them as well.  Sadly, Prompto’s first attack had left Ignis unbalanced and so with Nocts extra force there was no stopping them tumbling back and into a giant heap on the haven floor.

“Wh-what’s gotten into you tw-!” Ignis began before being silenced by a litany of apologies.

“Ignis I am so, so sorry for what I was saying back there and it wasn’t fair or funny of me to make fun of you like that!” Noct spoke quickly.

“Yeah!  What he said, Iggy!  I never meant to upset you and you know we don’t think of you like that!”

“Guys?” Gladio began, but paused as Ignis shot him a look before glancing back at the two still hovering over him with the most earnest faces he’s ever seen.

“You really mean that?” the Adviser asked and Prompto and Noct instantly nodded.

“You’re the best, Specs.  I’d literally still be in the swamp if you hadn’t showed up!” Noct tried to explain.

“Exactly!  Did you see what I was trying to use to save him?  A stick, Iggy.  A stick!!!” Prompto lamented, covering his face with his hands.

“I hope you know that you haven’t ruined anything,” Noct spoke up again, leaning back a little and nudging Prompto to do the same so that they weren’t crushing Ignis.  “We… we were just being stupid, ya know?  Teasing and joking, but it was unfair to do that and about those things.  You are only ever looking out for me.”

Prompto nodded as well, giving Ignis a small smile. “Not to mention you also have some of the best puns.  We  never meant to make you feel bad or like you ruined anything.  I’m sorry we made you feel that way, Iggy.”

Ignis looked between the two of them, the equal looks of uncertainty and worry still in their eyes and as they moved back he slowly sat up as well, rubbing his lower back a little.  “While it definitely isn’t fun to walk up on two people whom I consider to be my friends talking about me in such a fashion, I can assure you that it would take harsher words then that to truly hurt me.  I have had to deal with the Council since I was sixteen, remember?” he asked, looking between the two as they ducked their heads a little.

“Still… you shouldn’t have to compare us to the Council in terms of how much we hurt you,” Noct mumbled, still unable to look up at Ignis, Prompto nodding from the other side of Ignis where he still knelt.

With a little shake of his head, Ignis leaned forward, resting his hands on both of their shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze.  “What I was trying to say is that I’m fine.  I promise.  And I really did find some of those puns to be good, though the accent was a bit offensive,” he conceded, watching as they both turned their heads so quickly toward him he thought they were going to snap something in their necks.

“But… but you… you said that things weren’t alright?!” Noct quickly tried to explain.

“You looked so sad!  And… and you were crying!” Prompto pointed out before jumping as he heard Gladio let out a bark of laughter from behind them.  “What’s so funny?!  We hurt Ignis!”

The man in question shook his head with an almost fond sort of exasperation on his face.  “While I appreciate that you two were so quick and so willing to right your wrong, I’m afraid to say that my lamenting was over what we are having for dinner.” “... what?!” Ignis chuckled a little and brought a hand up to cover his mouth.  “My apologies.  I was working on a new recipe before we realized you two had been gone too long.  By the time we got back it had already overcooked and needless to say after trying it again it just… wasn’t coming together quite how I wanted,” he explained, watching as dismay appeared over their faces.  “As for the tears you can attribute those to some rather pungent wild onions.  As I said before it would take more than what you two sa-..!” Ignis was knocked back once more as Noct and Prompto launched at him, enveloping him into the biggest hug he could remember.

“I’m sorry if I made you two worry,” he said quietly, but was instantly silenced by two pairs of eyes looking up at him with slight annoyance.

“No… you don’t get to apologize. We messed up.  And we’re sorry,” Noct reassured and Prompto followed it up with a nod before hugging him a little tighter.

“Can you ever forgive us, Mama Ignis?” Prompto asked, and Ignis really couldn’t stop a snort of laughter from escaping, making the other two relax a little at such an honest reaction.

“Of course.  I forgave you both before I even made it back here,” he said with a nod.  “Now, while I really do appreciate the hugs I think it’s best if I get up and get cleaned up considering Noct has decided to honor me with a bog hug.”

Noct instantly squawked as he sat back in horror, realizing that he had indeed coated the Adviser in mud and schmutz.  “Oh Astrals, I’m so sorry, Specs,” he apologized again, only stopping as Ignis sat up with another chuckle.

“It’s fine, Noctis.  I assure you,” he said, carefully getting back to his feet as Prompto and Noct followed suit.  “It’s nothing a little soak in some... ,”  His words stalled out as he finally took in the other two.  “Noct… where… how… what..,”

Gladio snickered a little at the look of confusion, walking over to Ignis and wrapping an arm around his waist as he looked at the Prince. “I think what Ignis is trying to ask is… what happened to your pants?” Noct looked down, face turning red as he remembered where they now resided.

“... the bog ate them,” he said quietly, the campsite quiet for only a few beats before a snort from Ignis shattered the silence.

The poor Adviser was laughing so hard he was squeaking, having to take off his glasses to wipe tears of mirth from his eyes.

Gladio, meanwhile, was chuckling beside his partner and turned to look back at the other two.  “I think you broke him,” he teased, getting a small swat from Ignis who still was trying desperately to stop laughing, but was failing miserably.  One look at Noctis had him wheezing again and turning away with an apology as he continued to laugh.

Noctis couldn’t help smiling at that and shook his head.  No.  If anything he felt he had finally fixed things.  And if that meant standing like a pantless bog monster to get his friend to laugh then it was worth it. Click “Prom!”

“I told you I have to document everything!  And Ignis cry laughing over you in your underpants is top tier material!”

Still worth it.

[thecomfywriter]

On Writing Eating Disorders...

@thecomfywriter (original post; remember to tag me or lmk if you want to repost it)

NOTE: Everything in this post is based off of my personal research, thoughts, opinions and experiences. 

If you or a loved one has an eating disorder, please seek help by letting a loved one know, or contact one of these resources. Take care of yourselves, lovelies. 

Toll-Free Number (NEDA):  1-800-931-2237 or text NEDA to 741741

Eating disorders are often misrepresented in the media, rather in being glorified, or romanticized, or flat out ignoring some types while claiming others are a choice. As a person who has recently recovered from an eating disorder, these representations can be incredibly harmful and add to the stigmatization of the serious mental illness. As a writer, I thought I’d give some pointers of what to do and what to avoid when writing eating disorders.

1) Do your research

There are many different types of eating disorders, each with different symptoms and different treatment plans. It isn’t just anorexia nervosa, bulimia and binge eating disorder (although this one is also not handled much or not properly). Here’s a list of eating disorders and their basic definitions. 

TRIGGER WARNING:

Anorexia Nervosa: officially defined as the ed with dramatic weight loss or an aim for a weight below the healthy amount for age and height. characterized by extreme restriction in food, types of food and calories. 

Bulimia Nervosa: subtype of anorexia involving a purging method in order to maintain low weight or dramatically lose weight. Purging can include extreme/obsessive exercise, vomiting, and/or use of laxatives. 

Binge-Eating Disorder: reoccurring episodes of eating large quantities of food followed by shame or discomfort. Typically, these episodes are performed in secret, and include a feeling of lack of control. Binge eating disorder is not overeating once. It is a very serious and life threatening disorder where the sufferer feels a lack of control in eating to a point of discomfort repeatedly. 

OFSED: encompasses individuals who don’t meet the specific guidelines for the other types of eating disorders but still engage in disordered eating behaviors. Includes frequent binge eating episodes and possibly purging episodes, body image issues (may include body dysmorphia), frequent dieting behaviours, restriction, “burn off” calories consumed, etc. 

Orthorexia: included in OFSED, which is defined as an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy/clean to the point of disorder eating and restrictive behaviors. Often shares symptoms with bulimia nervosa (burning off calories through exercise) or anorexia (needing to eat clean/vegan/organic/etc.) Individuals may express body image issues through their desire to be “lean” or “skinny”

ARFID: known as the Selective Eating Disorder, involving limitations to types of food or amount of food consumed without the distress of body image or fears of fatness.

NOTE: these are general terms and definitions. I want to make clear that eating disorders do NOT have a body type or “look”, which brings me to point two. 

2) Eating disorders do not have a “type” or “look”

We see this a lot. The anorexic girl is stick thin, dainty and pretty. The bulimic is probably thin too. The binge eater is fat. 

It’s not that general. 

I was anorexic long before I was skinny. Some anorexics never become skinny. Most people with restrictive eating disorders are actually on the ‘average’ to ‘higher’ end of the scale. Just because someone has a specific weight, that doesn’t mean they don’t have a mental illness. That’s not how mental illness’s work. They are mental meaning they are about what’s in your head, not how your body looks. 

If you’re writing an OC with an eating disorder, consider separating their body type from their eating disorder. Eating disorders are about the mental anguish and the overthinking and fear related to food. It’s an unhealthy relationship with food, not a weight or body type. Not only will you be representing ed’s better, it is actually a lot more interesting to read (the books I’ve read focusing on the mental pain of having an ed are wayy better than, omg I wanna be skinny but I can’t see that I already am. Not saying that body dysmorphia isn’t a thing. It 100% is. I have it. But it’s often oversimplified and almost mocked in media, which sucks ass).

3) Do not discriminate

First of all, there is a huge underrepresentation of men with eating disorders. NEWS FLASH: BOYS CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS TOO 

This also goes for age. I personally know people who have eating disorders ranging from 6 years old (I know it’s sad) to in their late 40′s. Eating disorders do not discriminate based off age, nor sex, nor sexual orientation, nor race. 

There are black people with eating disorders. There are asians with eating disorders. There are south asians and latinos and hispanics with eating disorders. There are old people and young people, and boys and girls, and gays and straights with eating disorders. It’s not just the average white teenage girl. Take it from the indian recovered anorexic. 

Don’t be afraid, and honestly, please do consider adding diversity in your representation of eating disorders. Consider the cultural aspect of how the standards of each of these POC societies affect body image. 

An example of this is, in indian culture, people are very blunt. They also glorify weight loss, but don’t be too skinny either. It’s all about looking fertile, but heaven forbid you put on too much weight. This affected me so much when I went on vacation and met with family, and they all started commenting on my weight or pinching at my developing body. It was hurtful. It was even worse to hear them say I looked healthier because of my weight gain because for an anorexic, hearing ‘you look healthier’ is synonymous with ‘you look fat’. 

Also, the type of food per culture! Indian food is very healthy but also very dense, so it was my number one fear food when I still had my ed. 

Consider all of these things when adding representation, and ADD REPRESENTATION.

4) DO NOT GLORIFY or ROMANTICIZE EATING DISORDERS

I can’t say this enough. Please do NOT glorify or romanticize eating disorders. Often times, the anorexic girl is “dainty” and “pretty” with a “slim weight that you can hold in your hands”, or “is so beautiful but she just can’t see it”. 

BLEGH! VOMIT!  STOP! DO NOT DO THAT!

Every time I read that, a part of me dies inside. There is nothing aesthetic or dainty about having your bones show, or having such little weight on your body that you physically can never get warm, even after wearing four layers of clothing. There is nothing romantic or aesthetic about having your bones rub together every time you try to sleep or having joint pain at 17. There is nothing romantic or aesthetic about shaking in fear every time someone touches you because you are so scared of someone touching your body, or judgement, or discovering how sick you are. There is nothing aesthetic or romantic about eating disorders. Period. 

Please stop using language that makes an aesthetic out of eating disorders. Please stop describing it as if it is just a “dainty waist” or “tiny wrists,” because a) it implies only skinny people having eating disorders, and the skinny people with eating disorders are more brandable and “pretty”, whereas every other body type isn’t (WHICH ISN’T TRUE); and b) it adds a positive connotation, or almost makes eating disorders seem like a choice; like a diet gone wrong. 

Repeat after me: Eating disorders are NEVER a choice

5) STOP. WITH. THE. ROMANCE. SAVING. LOVE STORY. 

For some reason, most plots involving a person with an eating disorder (typically a pretty and skinny girl) involves a guy falling in love with her and saving her from herself, and being the reason she recovers. 

News flash! If love was the cure all for mental illness, my family would have saved me a long time ago. 

Mental illness is complicated. It’s debilitating. It steals your life away from you and it’s a long and gruesome process to try and recovery from it or learn to cope with it. I didn’t recover from my eating disorder ~through the power of l o v e~ 

My mom begged me with tears in her eyes for me to try harder and to eat properly. I yelled in her face. 

It’s a sad reality. There’s never a day in my life where I don’t regret doing that. But eating disorders change you. They can turn you sour. Starving is painful and it makes you cold. I wasn’t a kind loving person anymore. My family’s love wasn’t enticing enough for me to recover. The truth was, I was more scared of food and my eating disorder than I loved them. I hate admiting that, but its true. Which is why they couldn’t have been my reason to recover. 

It’s not the same for everyone. For some people, their family is the reaosn they recover. And I definently did try harder for my family too. But when I was in the deep, love wasn’t going to make me rational. It wasn’t going to cure me from my suffering. I was too busy pushing people away for that to happen. The sad reality of ed’s are that they ruin relationships a lot of the time. It takes a lot of resiliency to support a person with an ed because of how complex and difficult it is. 

I’m lucky my family did it for me. But I couldn’t expect that much from anyone beyond them. My recovery came from myself with the support of my family. I wasn’t saved by love. I was definently motivated by it, and supported by it, but that was only later. 

I’m sorry if this isn’t the happy truth you want to hear. I’m only speaking my own reality. Eating disorders are tragic. They have tragic consequences. Ultimately, some guy who is crushing on your OC, or who your OC is crushing on isn’t going to be the person who “saves them from their ed”. Your OC has to help themselves by reaching out to the people they love and to professionals for support. 

Don’t minimize the strength and bravery of a sufferer by making their mental illness disappear with love, because love is not a cure. Empower your readers by showing how your OC was strong enough to seek help, and what a big step it is towards taking care of themselves and recovery. 

This is just a general list. Sorry it’s so long. I can go more in detail if you guys want a part 2, or I can make more tip posts. Let me know if this helps. And if you know anyone or if you yourself are suffering from an eating disorder, please use your local resources. Tell a friend, a loved one. If anything, you can always message me on tumblr (@thecomfywriter) or insta (@tovwriter). I’ve been there, and I’ll always be here to support you guys <3

You deserve to recover and live a free and happy life. Recovery is possible. For you and your OC’s. Write a story that makes you feel powerful. 

Happy Writing <3

[funky-club-penguin-music]

Hey rat lovers~

February 11th, 2020. Almost 3 am EST which meansss.... oumami week day 2 suckahs!!

This one is probably my favorite and will be my longest piece of the week. For a little context, I picked soulmate au AND talent swap for this one! It goes as follows:

AU - whatever you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate’s skin

Rantaro - child caregiver 

Kaede - nurse

Kokichi - chef (not implied or stated, grr)

Anyway, I feel like i left it unfinished, so maybe for day 7 I could do the free day and add onto it? I’d really be into doing that, but I dunno. whatever I do, I know that I should totally continue this at some point!

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Day 2: Soulmate / Talent Swap

Words: 1430 (mmmm)

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The cold water splashed against the sink's rim as Rantaro attempted to get rid of the last bits of leftover ink on his arms. Thankfully, the girls were a little less aggressive with the coloring today. They usually got up to his shoulders… With the final designs turning to a heavy fade from all the scrubbing, he turned off the water and dried his forearms off on his shirt. A glance at the clock on the wall told him it was just nearing 6 pm. Somehow, it was a pretty calm day, which was rare for the daycare. None of the kids were too rowdy at all, which Rantaro was silently glad about. Rethinking the day's events- or lack thereof -he made his way to the door, getting his keys out to lock up the classroom. Next stop, the nurse’s office.

It wasn't too far from his classroom, another thing he was glad about. He hoped Kaede hadn't left yet, but she was usually still here at the end of the day. He peeked in, and there she was at her desk. A few random trinkets sat on it, alongside some sticky notes, a desk plate with her name and her position on it, and a picture of Kaede and a group of other friends. Rantaro could actually name a few of them. He knocked on the door, and she immediately perked up. 

"Come in!" Kaede said as she straightened herself out, placing her black pen back into her breast pocket. She always had it on hand, just in case she needed to write to her soulmate. Although it was obvious from the writing on her arm that all they really talked about was books and music anyway. Rantaro couldn't consider that silly though, he never had anything worth saying to his soulmate in the first place, so who was he to judge her?

He stepped into the office, scratching his arm lightly. Maybe all that scrubbing wasn't such a great idea. Upon seeing him, she lit up. Within a few seconds, she was already trying to show him her arm and explain everything they talked about. Most of it meshed together, but he made sure to listen intently.

"-And this is a book they recommended to me! I could probably find it on Amazon, right? But enough about me!" 

She grinned and pulled her arm back, now starting to pull her hair out of its ponytail. It was obvious to him that she wanted him to braid it, so he extended his hand and grabbed onto a strand of her hair, getting to work on braiding it.

"Tell me about you. How have things been?"

Somehow, her smile got wider. 

Rantaro shrugged as his fingers worked on sectioning the hair.

"Eh, same as always. Nothing much happens usually, y'know?"

Kaede nodded, almost messing up her braid.

"Agreed. Sometimes the routine is nice, but it's getting kind of awkward… Speaking of which, I need some advice," she said with a sigh. 

Oh, advice. He's good at that. Rantaro nodded as he folded one strand of hair over another, quickly forming a neat braid. Kaede took a short breath before diving into her issue.

"Recently, I gave my soulmate my phone number and we've been talking for a long… LONG time!"

She's right about that. Rantaro remembers when they first met, Kaede would often have writing all over her arms and sometimes even legs. Whoever her soulmate was, their hands must be tired from all that writing.

"And… We're thinking about trying to meet up. Do you think we should, or…?"

He left it at silence for a moment as he finished the braid, using a small elastic to hold it together.

"I say go for it. I mean, it's your soulmate after all. If you really want to, and you think it's safe, then what's the worst that could happen?"

Kaede looked at him with wide eyes, quickly straightening out her scrubs before grinning.

"Yeah, yeah! You're right! Thanks Taro, you're the best!"

She quickly gave him a hug before looking at the clock.

"Oop- Gotta go! Thank you again. Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without you." 

With a giddy squeal, she grabbed her bag off the chair and rushed out. That just left him… He'd have to lock up by himself, blegh.

-----------

A calm day was one in a million, as was said among the staff of the daycare. Unfortunately, the statement was proven the next day, in more ways than one. For starters, all the kids seemed to have stored their energy for the exact day that one of the caregivers were unavailable, which left Rantaro with double the kids than usual. Hey, he's the Ultimate Child Caregiver, so he's supposed to be able to handle it. Still, Kaede promised she would help during her free time… Under the promise of free ice cream at the nearby diner of course. Healthy kids were just not her thing.

At the moment, it was roughly 2:30 pm, aka quiet time. Thank God. A good sum of the kids were asleep, besides one or two. The lights were off, and the only source of it was a small bit of sunlight streaming through the window. Rantaro was sitting next to it, with just enough light to see, as Sarah- one of the older girls -doodled with a giggle. He always let her color on his arms, it seemed to satisfy her creative spirit, and her parents seemed happy to not have their daughter come home with messy arms. She seemed pretty stuck on drawing flowers of all sizes, shapes, and colors. It was adorable to watch as she whispered a song to herself and filled in one of the flower's petals. 

Then, something unexpected happened. Sarah went back for another color, and Rantaro admired the colors on his arm, scanning each one carefully. Until he got to his palm. He gasped a little when he saw some words written in handwriting he didn't recognize… It was very child-like, but not messy, and all it read was 'What the fuck?'

Rantaro was less shocked about what it said, but more about how this was one of the few times, or rather the first time in a long time, that his soulmate wrote to him. Hell, when WAS the last time? Maybe this is the first time... Whatever it was, it immediately made him feel fuzzy. He leaned over to the marker box, and grabbed a purple one, quickly writing back in a neat print on his wrist; 'Hello to you too?'

Sarah yawned as she dug through the box again, her eyes shutting every so often. Quiet time didn't last forever, sadly, which prompted him to ask if she wanted to sleep. To that, she nodded and went to a free space on the mat. Wow… He watched in awe as the words formed on his skin, all by themself. No wonder Kaede liked this so much, it looked so cool to watch.

'Wasn't saying hi, but okay.'

Not the best first conversation, but it was something!

'Whatever, nice to meet you!' 

'Damn right'

A bit of an attitude… Rantaro switched to a red marker, just because he thought it looked better.

'So who are you?'

'A person'

'Wow, so impressive. I'm Rantaro!'

'Kokichi and your use of punctuation scares me'

He smiled to himself and looked at the clock. It's almost 3 pm, and he'd have to wake up the kids. No way he was doing that with all this writing on his arm though, no way. He looked back at his arm and tried to fit in as much as he could in as little space as possible. 

'I hate to cut this so short, but I've got stuff to do! If you want I could probably write something later, but right now I need to wash this off. Does that sound okay?'

He was already standing up and walking over to the sink while waiting.

'You didn't need to write an essay for that, but okay'

With that, the scrub process is repeated again, effectively getting out the words and leaving his arms nice and clean. Of course, Sarah would be a little disappointed that her work got washed off, but it's nothing she can't do again. For now, Rantaro spent the last small chunk of quiet time thinking about how nice it felt to finally get a reply… Oh did he have high hopes, and unknown to him right now, they would certainly be exceeded. 

[complicatedandstained]

Rules of Engagement: Smushing Faces

A bell chimes beside them as the front door creaks open, dragging Axel and Roxas’ clouded minds back to a different feverish kiss at the top of a clock tower. For a moment they can feel the deafening clanging of a much larger bell vibrating through them, shaking their strong bodies like leaves in a rainstorm. 

They slowly separate at the thump of heavy footsteps a few feet away and the neutral, slightly weary grunt that follows as Aeleus catches sight of them lip-locked. Aeleus does an about face and clomps away, toward the designated shelf where Axel and Roxas set aside materials made for the scientists and guards of the Radiant Garden castle.

Roxas carefully shifts himself into a more socially appropriate position on Axel’s lap, and after a minute watching Aeleus loading items into his arms to heft out to his cart parked out front, Roxas pipes up, “Do you need help with those, man?”

Aeleus glances back to them warily, his lip lifting slightly upward at the more tender sight of Axel gently kissing the top of Roxas’ head as Roxas tangles their fingers together in an unnecessarily intricate knot. 

“Not just yet, Master Roxas,” Aeleus rumbles in his deep bass, brushing his gloves together to release ashy residue from the crate he’s just shifted. “Go about your business. I’ll let you know.” 

“Go about your business,” Axel echoes, as Aeleus returns to his. He turns his own attention back to Roxas, and chuckles, shaking his head. “Aeleus cracks me up.” 

Roxas blinks, miffed. “I don’t think he was trying to be funny…”    

“You haven’t known him as long as I have,” Axel argues airily. He shrugs when Roxas looks unconvinced and reaches for the bag of jalapeño poppers as Roxas sweeps it away, amusement and exasperation narrowing his eyes. 

“Dude, your hands are filthy.”

“Ordinarily, I’d take that as a compliment,” Axel replies and offers an insinuating smirk which sinks into a pout, “but I’m starving.” Roxas snorts, but continues to hold the bag out of reach, as if this could actually stop Axel, who has nearly twice his wingspan.   

“Hm.” Axel contemplates his palms, blackened with ash and metal, until he catches hold of a better idea. “Well, then, Roxas, I guess you’re just going to have to feed me or get up.” He pats Roxas’ thigh, all deceptively heavy, compact muscle, and Roxas groans in reply, clearly unwilling to move after his long morning skateboarding through half the kingdom running errands. 

“Mine aren’t much better.” Roxas frowns, glancing at his own skin, sooty and damp from Axel’s palms, clothes, sweat. After thinking for a second, he stretches them out over the floor and mumbles, “Water.” A light spray appears from the ether to rinse them clean.

Axel hums, head cocking. “Now do the spell for soap.”

Roxas makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat and then shakes the bag again emphatically. “Shut up, or I won’t feed you.”

It’s Axel’s turn to sound strangled, but then he pantomimes zipping his trap until Roxas nods, unloading a pair of bottles from a tote bag Aerith had helped him hand-sew in one of their classes, and handing them off to Axel to open, before lifting one of the heavenly smelling crescent wrapped rolls from the bag and brushing off the flaky, buttery crumbs. 

Axel’s brows rise as he twists the metal caps off the bottles and leans in to sniff them. “You didn’t manage to get…?”

Roxas twists his head in the negative, smile wistful. “Cream soda. But Elrena made it herself.” 

“Ah,” Axel nods seriously, as he pockets the bottle caps, “so it’s probably poisoned cream soda.”     

“C’mon,” Roxas chides, with that blink and you miss it smile, nudging him with his shoulder, “Elrena’s so nice now.” 

“I know. Maybe I’m a hypocrite, but it creeps me out.” Axel smiles back, conspiratorial, gesturing with both hands despite the bottles. “Keep waiting for her to snap.” He watches Roxas steal the first bite of the jalapeño popper and his tongue fumbles, volume rising, “Babe, you might not want to take that big a bite of—”

Roxas meets Axel’s gaze in a steady, playful challenge, starts to chew, and then his face contorts. “Aw, fug! Ax’l—!” His hands start flailing, eyes beginning to water. “My mouff’s on fyre!” 

Axel’s brows furrow with concern, as he lifts his hand to Roxas’ mouth, though he can’t quite subdue his smirk. “You’ve never eaten a jalapeño before, have you, darlin’?” 

Roxas spits the food into Axel’s outstretched palm without hesitation, and then Axel lifts one of the bottles to Roxas’ mouth, and tips it back. 

Roxas’ pink cheeks fade, the tension pinching his nose lessening as he chugs it down. Axel finds himself distracted by the muscles in Roxas’ neck working, swallowing, and the dribbles of frothy white foam spilling slowly out the sides of his mouth. As Roxas starts to cough, Axel scolds his mind for going somewhere indecent, and fumbles to help him right the bottle without dropping his own.

Axel sticks the unchewed half a jalapeño popper that had been in his boyfriend’s mouth into his own to free his ash-stained hand, and uses it to better support Roxas, who is leaning forward, cringing in disapproval through a minor coughing spasm. 

Which, Axel thinks, is a bit unfair, considering Roxas is the one with liquid sugar dripping tantalizingly down his face.   

“Ugh.” Roxas rubs at the liquid dripping down his jawline, as Axel chews, and the spices set his own mouth pleasantly ablaze. “How can you eat that?”

“If I was afraid of your germs, Roxas,” Axel leans in, tone dropping into an intimate hiss, before his tongue stretches to lap at a drip Roxas missed. “I wouldn’t have had my tongue down your throat two minutes ago.” 

Roxas shuts his eyes, works his jaw, and presses his fingertips to Axel’s cheek, hand twitching as if unsure whether to pull him closer or push him off, as the sting of spice from Axel’s tongue hits his skin. “I me’n’ the jalapeños,” he mumbles, too breathy to quite pull off indignant, neck arching just a bit as Axel’s tongue traces cream soda further down his jawline. “They’re definitely poisoned.” 

There’s a bang of metal on metal as Aeleus works across the room, and Axel snickers, kissing Roxas’ cheek one last time before pulling away. “They’re an acquired taste. And, speaking of poison, there’s definitely booze in this.” He lifts the remaining bottle of cream soda to his lips, and Roxas watches, head shaking. 

“I knew they’d be spicy. I like spicy, but,” Roxas winces, his own tongue sticking out, “blegh. They’re like if Firaga was a pastry. Yeah,” he glances at the cream soda bottle, remembering the way Elrena had winked at him and told him to have fun when she handed them over, “I don’t know how she got away with it, but,” he tilts the bottle and watches the amber content slosh, “this has to be, like, half rum.” 

“You didn’t think we were the only ones opening dark corridors when we’re not supposed to, did you, Roxas? Where there’s a will—” Axel’s nose crinkles, laughing as Roxas takes another swig. “Whoa, you just chugged half a bottle. Slow down there, buddy.”

“Trying to get the taste out of my mouff…”

Roxas has downed the entire bottle of soda before Axel finally persuades him it’s not a form of manslaughter to feed him the other half of the first jalapeño popper. Axel chews with exaggerated relish, Roxas watching with a mix of awe, disgust, and apprehension.    

“So, you got stuck talking to Xemnas earlier, huh?” Axel asks around another bite. “Yeah.” Roxas brushes crumbs from the back of his hand and the collar of Axel’s tunic. “I think I accidentally agreed to Org family brunch next week.” He pulls another pained face. “You have to help me get out of it. Isa will ask me if I’ve been applying myself.” 

Axel chuckles. “You have been applying yourself. Ansem said our science project showed ‘great promise.’ That’s scientist speak for ‘fucking awesome.’” He rubs Roxas’ lower back in attempt to ease his concerns. “And Xemnas gave you full marks for your book report comparing The Lord of the Flies to current events in Neverland.”

“I know,” Roxas frowns and sets his bottle on the bench beside him with a clink, “but when Isa asks, I go brain-dead.” 

“He has that effect on people,” Axel jabs fondly. “But don’t forget, he’s taking a few classes too. Xemnas didn’t teach his employee of the month everything.” Roxas scowls, though it seems directed inward. “Talking about my education makes him so serious. He’s easier to talk to over frisbee or construction work or guitar lessons with Demy.” He shrugs. “I know he means well.” 

“Hm.” Axel glances to the blur of the fire in the hearth in thought, swishing his palm to bring the blazes down as the heat of the jalapeños spreads through his throat. He swallows. “I’ll see what I can do. We did just have them over for dinner. Speaking of,” he fixes his eyes on Roxas again, “what the hell did you talk about? Xemnas just talked our ears off two days ago.” Roxas rolls his eyes. “You know Xemnas. Everything.” He shifts his hand over the bottle at his side, murmurs again, and it starts to fill with water. “First, he talked about Isa and what a good job he’s doing with HR and Staffing for the Restoration Committee and managing our community service hours, which, by the way, we’re Thursday…” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I pissed Leon off at the market yesterday when I got the last avocado, so I hope you’re ready for some hard labor.”

Roxas gives an exaggerated sigh and tries to cuff Axel’s shoulder. Axel dodges, catching Roxas’ hand in his wrist, and leaning to press his lips to Roxas’ temple. 

“So, we talked about Isa, for, like, fifteen minutes straight,” Roxas continues, as if uninterrupted, twining their fingers together with one hand and sipping his rum and sugar flavored water with the other. 

“Well,” Axel considers evenly, “he and Isa are smushing face.”

Water spurts from Roxas’ nose and it takes him a moment to collect himself. He knows Isa and Xemnas are definitely and officially together, but out in public, they seem convinced that anything more than wrapping their arms around each other or standing with their shoulders touching is reprehensible PDA. Xemnas had pecked Isa on the cheek during dinner and Roxas’ jaw had about dropped open.  

When Roxas has collected himself, he continues again, “Then I made the mistake of asking what he’s got planned for the next issue of The Radiant Garden Gazette.” “Oh, Roxas,” Axel cringes sympathetically, “you didn’t.” Roxas sets down his drink and begins ticking articles off on his fingers, “He’s doing a review of Elrena’s tavern, updates on Xigbar’s appeal, a feature with Jiminy about some of the therapy techniques he’s using with us former Org members, an ‘illuminating’ critique of Leon’s work on the street lamps, or lack thereof… Oh! And he wants us to help with the tavern food reviews as our ELA assignment for the week. ‘Dishing on the dishes,’ I think he called it. Anyway, he’ll text us the details.”

“Gees,” Axel whistles, “he didn’t spare any of the details.”

“I think he’s just excited.” Roxas shrugs. They can talk trash, but they both read Xemnas’ paper together the day it comes out and revel in the drama for weeks after. “We all know how much work he puts into it.” 

“He makes sure of that,” Axel bemoans, grin betraying his amusement. “He let you get a word in edgewise?” “Oh. Yeah.” Roxas winces, pushes back his bangs. He likes people, but making lengthy conversation is not his cup of tea, and Xemnas doesn’t accept one-word answers without a fight. 

“About?”

“He asked how we’re settling into the apartment and how our other classes are going. Then he asked if we’d heard about Aeleus and Dilan’s engagement. Then he asked if business has picked up, and if I like having Ven as my sponsor. Then,” Roxas leans in, growing more animated, “he asked if it’s true that your Sponsor of Light, Riku, thinks you and I should break up, and if I really told him he should go fuck himse—” 

To Roxas’ disappointment, Axel cuts off his blood-thirsty grin with a swipe of his hand, “Whoa there, Rox, back it up. Aeleus and Dilan got engaged?” 

“Oh.” Roxas blinks a couple times. “Yeah! He told me I should tell you about that, but then he said, never mind, you were probably the first to know, because something about a ring.” They pass a couple seconds in steady silence, each waiting for the other to offer some kind of explanation. “Honestly, he kind of lost me, but he sounded pretty excited, so…” Roxas shrugs, open handed, earnest, “I think it’s probably a good thing.”  

Axel mouths something wordlessly, his brows nearing his hairline, and then glances around the shop for Aeleus, who is no longer in it. 

Roxas makes an agitated sound, and Axel finds his voice. 

“The ring was—the ring was an engagement ring?”

“I mean,” Roxas tilts his head, wondering what he’s missing, “that’s what Xemnas called it. Why? What’s...” 

Axel starts fumbling to put down the bottle and paper bag in his hands, so Roxas scooches off of his lap, starts to tuck the lunch items into his tote, and watches his slightly frantic, but grinning boyfriend with a growing frown. “Are you... okay?”

“Aeleus?” Axel calls, leaning half his frame out the window until he spots the man, loading armfuls of enormous iron hammers into his cart with ease. At the commotion, Aeleus brushes off his palms and steps their way. “Aeleus?” Axel calls more emphatically, yelling and waving for the man a few yards off. “That ring I made for Dilan, that was your engagement ring?” 

Axel continues repeating his question as Aeleus walks up. By the time he arrives, and Roxas has joined Axel in leaning most of his body out the window to observe, Axel is a little breathless. 

“I think,” Aeleus’ boots stop with a heavy thud, and his arms cross, contemplating them, “perhaps what you’re trying to say to me is ‘congratulations’?” 

“Yeah,” Axel pantomimes tossing confetti, flickering white sparks rising from his fingertips, and sweeps them away in quick succession. “I mean congratulations, obviously, but…” Aeleus offers a rare quirk of his mouth that’s as close to a smile as Axel has ever seen him get, and then nods. “Thank you, Lea.” Both Aeleus and Axel turn to Roxas, Aeleus’ expression blank and expectant, Axel with one brow quirked, as if he’s surprised Roxas hasn’t done something, though Roxas can’t think what. 

“Congratulations?” Roxas echoes carefully. “Xemnas says this is very big and exciting news.” 

“Er,” Aeleus’ eyes narrow, another glimmer of an almost-smile appearing, as his chin juts in a nod, “yes. Quite.” He waits another beat and when Roxas doesn’t continue, glances to Axel and back. “Thank you, Master Roxas.”

Axel frowns, his jade eyes shifting, raking over Roxas’ face. Unsure what to think, he swiftly tucks his boyfriend under his arm, ruffling his hair to stifle his objections as he turns back to Aeleus, “He’s so surprised he doesn’t know what to say! He’s just found out. We’re over the moon for you both. Really.”

With a huff, Roxas pushes his way out from Axel’s solid grip and hoists himself up to sit on the window frame and glare at him. 

Axel is oblivious, his frantic smile spreading into something more mocking. “So, have you lovebirds started making plans yet? Dates, colors, locales, flowers… bachelor parties?” Axel winks, and Roxas’ intestines attempt to turn themselves inside out.

Aeleus’ frown starts to slip into more of a glower, and Axel leans back, hands up in self-defense, expression softening. “Kidding… I’m kidding. You do you. No rush, obviously. It’s just been a decade since I’ve seen a real Radiant Garden wedding… I mean. Fuck.” He glances up to the faint puffs of clouds, and crosses his ankles, lost in a memory. “Gods,” he mutters, shaking it off, and catching sight of Roxas, before turning back to the groom-to-be. “And Roxas, here, he’s never seen one… I mean, I can’t believe you didn’t tell us! Look at Roxas, he’s speechless.” Axel gestures to him.

“Uh… yeah.” Roxas crosses his arms, nose wrinkling like he can still taste the jalapeño in the corners of his mouth. “I’m speechless.” 

Aeleus offers his tiny, wry smile again. “I imagine Dilan thought you might read between the lines when he made such a specific request.”

Axel nods, arms crossing as he considers this. “I did think it was odd that he wanted to start accessorizing at his age…”

Axel ignores Aeleus’ displeased harrumph, and continues, “This does make more sense. I just wish he had told me.” Axel gestures toward Aeleus’ left hand, and he lifts his trunk-like arm to reveal a simple gold band on one of his beefy digits with a single twist in the metal. “I could have made something with, ya know, a little more pizzazz.” Axel’s fingertips release another round of sparks. 

Aeleus nods, thoughtful as well, considering Axel’s erratic, spiked hair and the smudge on his cheek like his old tattoo, and recalling a distant memory of a child sitting in the sunny town square of Radiant Garden painting grinning flames on his frisbees and flicking paint at his friends when they offered critique. “Perhaps ‘pizzazz’ was what he was trying to avoid? I rather appreciate it as is.”

Axel, who is in the process of hoisting himself up to sit in the window frame beside Roxas finds his foot slipping as he tries to process these words, and he sits harder than he means to, landing on his ass with a thud. “Ah…” Axel blinks as the cloud of ash around him fades off, and frowns at the waiting Aeleus, who’s chuckling at his missteps, a strange, deep, melodic sound. 

 “Maybe,” Axel offers generously. “Whatever floats your boat, I guess.” He rotates his wrist, making sure his hard landing didn’t do any real damage. “Oh!” he glances up abruptly, as Aeleus’ laughter tapers off. “Uh, but congratulations, all the same!” Again, he spares Roxas a side glance, but he remains silent, brow furrowed, watching them carefully.  

“Thank you…” Aeleus nods, sparing Roxas a curious look as well, before glancing over his shoulder to the cart he was loading to take to the castle. “Although, I’d rather you both had heard it from us than from Xemnas… Perhaps I ought to go and tell some of the others… before the news hits publication, so to speak.” He motions back the way he had come and takes a step back toward the road. 

“Yeah, of course, man. Leave your cart here, we’ll take care of it. This is a big deal! I’m sure the scientists will understand if the equipment’s a day late.” Axel nods enthusiastically until his neck feels a little sore. 

 Aeleus nods once in reply and then bids them a final farewell and starts off in the direction of the central town square. As he steps off, Axel calling well wishes to his back, he swears he sees the man’s lips stretch into a full, genuine, toothy smile, and in the distance, he thinks he hears the large man begin to whistle a jaunty tune.

Roxas, silent and still, watches from beside him, the breeze pulling at his bangs, but Roxas does not smile.   

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