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#i am also sick so maybe that’s why this happened but also i think they should be warm and cozy at all times and corey’ll make sure of that
mermaidsirennikita · 18 hours
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Sadly, the Wuthering Heights furor has also led to people (many of whom, let us be real, simply dislike the book or otherwise only think of it when it's brought up) to discourse about the content of the novel versus the wrongness of Emerald Fennell's choices with regards to the movie, which of course, has opened up the classic "IT'S NOT A ROMANCE! IT'S NOT A LOVE STORY! BAD PEOPLE! HATE STORY!"
... Which is... also a bad take.
First off, to be very clear, "Romance" is not inherently "genre romance", which is the thing I blog a lot about that was solidified in the latter half of the twentieth century (and which, no doubt, was influenced on some level by WH as much as Jane Eyre, Austen novels and so on). Wuthering Heights is a romance, it's just not a genre romance/romance novel. And indisputably, Wuthering Heights is a love story.
It may not be a love story you like. It may not be a love story with a happily ever after (though I will say—this is one of the few books where I think it's pretty debatable, as "wandering the moors as ghosts", if that is what happened, is kind of... what Cathy and Heathcliff would've wanted... and their ultimate desire was to be TOGETHER, regardless of whether or not it damned them, so is it an HEA in their freaky minds? Maybe so lol). It may ALSO be an abuse story in which the lovers act horribly to each other.... though, I gotta say, MUCH WORSE to literally everyone else in their lives than they do to each other...
But it's a love story. That is one of several things it happens to be. The entire novel is driven by this central love story between Heathcliff and Cathy—a love that is, contrary to what a surface-level reading or reading by word of mouth would imply... very much mutual. I've already gone on about how Cathy Earnshaw is not Heathcliff's victim the way Isabella Linton is, and how Cathy is very much as involved in the love affair as he is. But truly, while their individual internal struggles are the framework and what keeps them apart in many ways—Heathcliff being a man of color and subject to racist abuse, Cathy conforming to society and classist pressures when her natural temperament is very much not of society—what propels the story is this romance.
Because they are supposed to be read as extremely similar, and as two people who do not truly identify with anyone but one another. They're supposed to be read as like minds. They're supposed to be read as thwarted. Some of the things those two say about each other and to each other are legitimately some of the most romantic lines I've ever read.
I mean, are they also kind of sick and wrong? Sure! But I do find it kind of rich to see people who are totally fine with reading dark romance wring their hands over the public at large interpreting Heathcliff and Cathy's relationship as an epic romance. I don't have an issue with anyone enjoying either! But. Let us be real. Part of why y'all are even enjoying work like that is the standard that books like WH set, and the fact that WH does speak to the lure of the dark and the tragedy of people who are super imperfect... and also super in love... continuously fucking up their own lives (and the lives of basically everyone around them) in this push-pull of denial and desire.
When people say "HOW COULD ANYONE EVER INTERPRET THIS AS ROMANTIC?" I just have to question... did you read the book? Because even if it's not for YOU, if it's not romantic TO YOU, surely you can see why other people (me and mine lol) read lines like these and go, "Wow, romantic":
“Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you--haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe--I know that ghosts have wandered the earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!”
(fun fact: I do have a part of the above quote tattooed on my body and I'm very happy about it)
"My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."
"Hush, my darling! Hush, hush, Catherine! I'll stay. If he shot me so, I'd expire with a blessing on my lips."
[said when her damn husband is almost at the door lol]
"I’m not wishing you greater torment than I have, Heathcliff. I only wish us never to be parted: and should a word of mine distress you hereafter, think I feel the same distress underground, and for my own sake, forgive me!"
"'Heathcliff, dear! you should not be sullen now. Do come to me, Heathcliff.’
In her eagerness she rose and supported herself on the arm of the chair. At that earnest appeal he turned to her, looking absolutely desperate. His eyes, wide and wet, at last flashed fiercely on her; his breast heaved convulsively. An instant they held asunder, and then how they met I hardly saw, but Catherine made a spring, and he caught her, and they were locked in an embrace from which I thought my mistress would never be released alive..."
"Kiss me again; and don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?"
[Read: she is the murderer he is talking about. He's saying she doomed herself to death a long time ago, and he hates her for it. While also crying and kissing her lmao]
They're sickos! Nobody can argue otherwise. But that does not mean they're not in love, and it doesn't mean this isn't a love story, and wagging your fingers at people who read this as the obviously destructive love story this is and find it romantic... doesn't change that.
And the thing is that the book makes it pretttyyyy clear that even if Heathcliff and Cathy has assholery programed into their personalities, WITHOUT the contexts of how they were raised and the society that expects them both to conform to prescribed roles, they would probably just... be together. Like, they victimize people, especially Heathcliff. But they are also victims. The book isn't about a critique of two people Emily Bronte dreamed up; it's a critique of the CIRCUMSTANCES by way of Gothic, subversive melodrama. At the end of the day, their feelings, however passionate they are, are not inherently subversive. Their feelings are NATURAL. But they're twisted and contorted into something ugly through circumstance and the characters' responses to those circumstances.
For Heathcliff, A LOT of those circumstances that did twist him are in fact out of his control. Which is why we hate that casting, right?
But all that said, a love story being dirtybadwrong and about Bad People doesn't mean it isn't a love story, lol. Again—we don't even expect genre romance to be about good people.
Like. Yeah. We know Heathcliff and Cathy are assholes. You're not breaking new ground with that take. The book is still, in many ways, about those assholes being in love.
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restinslices · 3 days
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Hello, I saw the publication, idea of MK1 characters with a combat medical reader, and I was wondering if you could do it. With the Lin Kuei brothers and if possible Harumi 😔☝🏻
Sorry for the bad English, it's not my mother tongue
L.N
Hey pookie. Ngl, I was having trouble making all of them different so imma pick one brother to do and if you want the rest, you can request again. Maybe spacing them out will let my brain marinate and actually work lol. Also I don't know anything about Harumi. I won't even lie to you-. Also your English is legit perfect.
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I imagine that he'd meet combat medic reader at a young age
You're apart of the Lin Kuei, so he meets you when he's "adopted"
You still fight and all that jazz but you're also being trained in healing
He was adopted after his family was killed so um, yeah, he's a bit shook up and nervous
He doesn't know how he feels. He just stays in his room. He absolutely hates how everyone stares at him. He feels like he's being watched all the time
You're good friends with Bi-Han and Kuai Liang, so you're used to spending time with them at their place
I can see the first interaction being something simple. Like, his new dad (who is the Grandmaster of the clan that murdered his family) (I just CANNOT get over this shit) asks you to get him for dinner
You peek your head in his room to tell him dinner is ready. That's it. That's all.
He doesn't know who you are and honestly he has no intentions on finding out
But then over time he starts actually training, and that comes with injuries. He gets a real fucked up shoulder and is sent to your area
He's quiet the whole time for multiple reasons; he doesn't know you fr, he's still not sure about this clan, and he's watching you work your healer magic
You try to make smalltalk but he's kinda in and out of this world. Keeps zoning out. You can understand why though. Everyone knows what happened to his family
That's how your relationship is for awhile. He comes to get healed, then he leaves without really talking
Things change though when you're sent to get him for dinner again and you walk in on him crying
You're not an asshole, so you close the door behind you and sit by him
Neither of you talk. After some time you leave then come back with two plates of food
"I lied and said you were sick. Also asked if I could give you company" "Why'd you do that?" "I didn't want you to be alone in here" "Oh... thank you. Seriously" "It's all good man. You uh, wanna talk about something?
That's when the friendship truly starts. That act of kindness really sticks with him and now he truly thinks you're a good person to be around
He comes to you when he gets seriously fucked up in training or on actual missions. Sometimes he just chills out in your area and you two chat while you work on healing someone
I could see him take an interest in anatomy and shit after seeing what you do
I just see y'all vibing in your little healing hut a lot
I do think going on missions would be funny though-
"I gotta pop your shoulder back in place!" "You can't magically heal it?!" "Not this time!" "Hurry up then!" *pop* "DAMN!
"Do you get injured on purpose more when I'm here?" "I'm doing my best here"
As for when you start dating, honestly I don't see you dynamic changing much
A relationship with Tomas is like being friends but y'all hold hands occasionally
Oh and obviously you join the new clan (I am not googling how to spell that rn)
Gotta give y'all a happy ending sometimes
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goodolddumbbanana · 8 hours
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I think we are so hung up on the toxicity of Nexus and Dark Sun, we are totally missing the sick twist toxic potential Stockholm symptoms between Dark Sun and Sun duo.
Either if we ship them or not.
Because if Sun follows Dark Sun path, or just goes with Dark Sun instead of Nexus, things can be for real so much worse.
Why am I saying that?
Because One of Sun's strongest characteristics is his loyalty, and his caring deeply for his family. He is willing to die with them and You can even just hit and bully Sun everyday and he will still forgive you.
And also, he doesn't care much about himself, and he sets his expectations very low, like... If you don't cross that limit, (his family), then you can do whatever with him.
So...
Let says something happens and Sun joined Dark Sun.
(Maybe the time when he killed Moon, maybe the time when Nexus just freshly got yeet out of space. Maybe... Just maybe... He hurt someone in his family)
My point is that, what if Dark Sun comes to Sun in his lowest point of his life.
He couldn't take it, couldn't handle it anymore... He might harm Nexus badly which makes him think Nexus was dead.
I think Sun would follow and obey Dark Sun unconditionally without asking any questions. Because he was so ashamed of himself that he never dared to crawl back at his home, to say sorry for the people he hurt, especially if the consequences are forever.
He will hold on to the only person who still stays there with him, and will do anything, desperately to get Dark Sun's approval and love, just like how he tried to behave to Moon with Killcode doesn't hate him anymore.
Dark Sun does not even need to use machines to brainwash Sun. He just needs some light manipulation day and there, to remind Sun that Moons are evil and no one can help him except himself, except Dark Sun.
I bet Dark Sun will kinda want a naive version of himself to stay with him, I mean, to teach Sun to be strong and all.
To save himself.
Or he just simply wants a Sun for himself, a naive and a little idiot person to push his ego...
Anyway...
And the more time they stay together, the more times Dark Sun lets or forces Sun to destroy a variant of Moons, there will be a piece of Sun gone, until nothing in there anymore.
Sun will be just like Servant Sun, completely follow Dark Sun, or just simple like his pet but this time, it is his choice and his own doom doing. And not by any re-programmed or star power.
;.; I just love when people get screwed by his own decision
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eightlightstar · 3 days
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Wander
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pairing: Lee Jihoon x AFAB Reader genre: meet-cute, NANA TOUR based, fluff, idol x fan relationship warning(s): reader's feelings are hurt by Woozi's cautionary words (not that deep), descriptions of a kiss(?) word count: 4.1 k (my first fic of this size!) recommended song: _World by Seventeen banner credits: @staranghae
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Woozi was not a wanderlust, and it was a well established fact. That's why he was worried sick as him and the guys were waiting for JunHao to get through immigration. How was a homebody to enjoy a vacation with his loved ones when most of the itinerary was outdoorsy?
His impending doom face must've been hard to miss because Dokyeom was scooting closer as he asked him, "Hyung? You look like you've seen a ghost! Is something wrong?" Seeing a worried Dokyeom made him snap out of his negative spiral. "Ah it's nothing much. I was just wondering how I'm going to handle being out & about since I stay indoors all the time. It's fine though, I guess. It's a relief you all are there at least. I hope I'll not be too disoriented…?" Woozi finished in a confused tone.
"Are you telling me or asking me Hyung?" Dokyeom said and laughed. "You never give such a long explanation to something unless it actually bothers you enough; so, I can see that you're wary of what's to come. It may be a vacation for us, but it might be an ordeal to you. That's why me and the guys will do our best to make sure you have a great time with us. Sound good?" He chirps and hugs Woozi tightly. "Thanks, Kyeom. I don't think I can live without you all." Woozi whispers as he hugs him back.
Woozi was surprised to find that he wasn't uncomfortable with anything that was happening! Everything was great and he was thoroughly enjoying himself right from the moment they had stopped at the Colosseum, to the wine festival they were currently at. He doesn't exactly drink; so, before coming here, he had felt that it would be useless for him to go there and ruin the others' mood by his predicament. Joshua must've sensed his discomfort because he was by Woozi's side the next instant. "Hey, Woozi. You look a bit...uncomfortable?" he asked hesitantly. "No, I'm not uncomfortable, hyung. I'm just wondering what would a person like me do at a wine festival" Woozi supplied forlornly.
"Maybe you'll find something a person like you can do here after all", Joshua said while wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "Hah...hyung you're not drunk, are you?" Woozi asked while sighing at the antics of the older member. "No Jihoonie, just trying to cheer you up with a world of possibilities. I suggest you go about on your own. Having 12 others around is not always enjoyable you know", he says with a wry smile. "Yeah, I guess", Woozi shrugs unsurely but does take his hyung's advice.
As Woozi navigates the crowded wine festival alone, he goes from stall to stall trying some wine here and there. He doesn't know exactly when he gets drunk but the moment he realises, he looks for a place to stop and breathe. While looking here and there among a sea of people, he spots a stall that is not at crowded at all except for one young lady. He goes (read: stumbles) there and sighs in relief. He leans down to check out the different wines on the counter of the stall and notices the lady's keychain as he straightens up. It was a CARATBONG keychain and Woozi doesn't even finish thinking that 'CARATs are everywhere' when him and the woman make eye contact. The woman's eyes comically widen before she composes herself quickly. "Hi?" she says unsurely in Korean.
"You're Korean!?" Woozi asks a little too loudly in his tipsy state. "Ah sorry I think I must've drunk too much wine", he immediately apologises sheepishly. "Not just too much, many different wines too, I guess," says the woman and giggles. "Yes, I am Korean. Korean American actually. But yeah", she adds. "This might be stupid to ask but you do know me, right? Also, can I get your name? asks Woozi, surprising himself. "It's L/n Y/n. And I don't know how to reply to the other question, Woozi", she says as she stifles a smile with the back of her hand.
"Ah wonderful. But first and foremost, do not ask why I'm here in Italy. You'll get to know soon. Okay?", Woozi warned the CARAT hurriedly. "Duh. Of course you're filming something. I'm not completely dumb seeing as I've known Seventeen since debut but go off, I guess", she says in mock anger. "Ah I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. Fans tend to ask for photos or signatures and sometimes even pester us. It was precautionary you know just in-" "It's fine Woozi. I know how bad it can get. Wine?" she cuts his rambling as she shows him what she's currently drinking. "Thanks," Woozi mutters and asks the stall owner to pour him some.
"So, since I can't tell you what I'm doing here, tell me about yourself. What're you doing in Italy? Do you live in Korea? And oh, who's your bias in our group?", Woozi yaps away after taking a few sips of the woody wine. "WOW, who are you and what have you done to our Woozi?", Y/n asks in astonishment but humours this New Woozi anyway. "I'm here on a solo vacation as I just got some time off from work. Yes, I live in Korea. Actually, I live in Yongsan, so I often see you guys near the HYBE building, hehe. But coming back to your question, and not because you are the one I'm talking to, my bias has been you since the Melona Green Room days", she finishes in one breath and inhales deeply.
"WOW", is all Woozi manages. "But seriously, how are you talking so much? And that too with a fan you happened to meet by chance?", Y/n enquires curiously. "Well, Joshua was going on about the world of possibilities or something so I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone?", Woozi answers, albeit apprehensively. "That's actually very Josh of him, but also true. As your fan, I'm glad you're exploring new possibilities, she says and beams at him. "Yeah, but the only reason I talked to you was because I saw your CARATBONG keychain", he admits bashfully. "Aww and here I thought you talked to me because you found me pretty or something", she teases and Woozi has never been so out of his depth.
"Uh..." "Oh come on, I'm just teasing. I know you would rather talk to a stranger who's a CARAT than not" she says and giggles. Her giggles do something to Woozi's heart that he can't quite place. "Fans never talk this comfortably with us you know, they are usually very nervous or too excited. You're...astonishingly calm for a person who's talking to her bias". It was now Woozi's turn to tease Y/n. "Uh...". "Oh, come on, I'm just teasing", Woozi says triumphantly. "Wow...that's a low blow, Woozi. But I'm not offended because oh my god I love this new Woozi!?", she says as she gawks at her reformed bias. "Yeah, I hope I won't regret this tomorrow morning", he says in a hopeful tone. "Okay now I'm offended", Y/n says in a small voice.
"Hey, again, I'm sorry but if you've been here since debut, you know how some people take advantage of us interacting with them like-" "-like normal humans yeah, I know", she cuts him off and finishes his sentence yet again and he's pretty sure his heart did a somersault. "But I thought I already proved to you that I was different? I didn't need to and didn't even intend to prove myself different or anything, but it just happened. Anyway, I'm sure it's not easy for you to trust a stranger you just met even if I am a CARAT. I've only been extra nice because I know how fans get. I just thought it'll be a nice break for you, you know..." she says in a hurt voice.
Woozi regrets his words deeply as he looks at the hurt in her eyes. He makes a bold decision to set this misunderstanding straight. "Okay, for the last time, I'm sorry. This is me trusting and making up to the most wonderful fan I've ever met, who just happens to be my fan. Gimme your phone", he says. "Huh?" Y/n asks quizzically but still hands it to him. He flips it to the back to check just in case and sure enough, he finds a photocard of himself nestled behind a clear cover. "Aha! Now I know for sure I'm your bias", he teases while typing a number onto the keypad and saving it as Lee Jihoon. "That's my number. I feel like you're a person I can get to know so call me when you're back in Korea. I'll go back in a few days too. Okay?", he asks with hope in his eyes.
"But do you really want an unknown number calling you? When you already get so many calls from fans?", she asks him dryly. "Ah I hadn't thought of that. Wait, send me a message on Kakao right now", he says with a twinkle in his eyes as if he had just thought of the greatest idea in the world. "And what should I say?", she asks. "Ugh, just open the messenger and give it to me. Quick I need to go back to the group" Woozi says hurriedly as he checks the time. Y/n hands him her phone with his contact open on Kakao messenger. His fingers fly on the keypad of her phone as he sends a message to himself. "There, now I will know it's you" he beams like he had just won an award. Y/n is touched by the fact that he would go to such lengths to placate a fan who was simply treating him like a fellow human being. "Thank you, Woozi. It was wonderful meeting you. See you in Korea" she says as she waves at him. "See you in Korea Y/n" he says and leaves.
-Time Skip- (The story switches to Y/n's POV)
The rest of the vacation went by in a whirlwind for both you and Woozi. Both of you almost completely forgot your encounter with each other until you were trying to type a message to your friend and accidentally open your chat with Woozi.
cheers to youth.mp3
You stare at the message in utter confusion and think to yourself. 'How do I contact him further? Shouldn't he be the one who has to recognise whatever this cryptic message is and reply to me?' You sigh, exit his chat, message your friend like you had originally intended to, and go on about your day. You don't think about Woozi after that.
As for Woozi, he was insanely busy trying to catch up on and finish everything for their latest album Seventeenth Heaven. NANA TOUR had been a much-needed break yet now he had no choice but to work himself to death as comeback was almost upon them. It was after about 3 weeks that Woozi decided to (read: had the time to) reply to the messages he had ignored since he left for NANA TOUR. Surprisingly, there was only 1 message from an unknown number but just as he was about to delete it, he caught sight of the content of the message.
cheers to youth.mp3
Woozi was shell shocked. How had someone texted him the name of the Vocal Unit song file which was from their next album after Seventeenth Heaven!? His mind was reeling, and he was almost about to go nuts when his mind thankfully went to & stopped at the memory of his encounter with you at the Wine Festival in Italy.
"Oh my God that's Y/n!" he said aloud to himself. He immediately called you. You were just walking back home from a convenience store and were actually just opposite the HYBE building when you received a call. You were confused yet thrilled when you saw it was Woozi who was finally calling you! "Hello? Y/n?", Woozi asked nervously. "Yes, this is her, Woozi", you replied as you giggled. "Ah now I know it's you for sure" he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "And how do you know that may I ask?" you ask haughtily (comical). "Your giggles. I distinctly remember them. They're music to my ears", Woozi says adoringly before he even realises what he had just said.
"My giggles are music to the God of Music? I am honoured!" you say as you tease him. "Uh...I didn't mean...uh actually it kinda slipped out but..." Woozi hesitates for a while until he finally snaps and actually tells you what he wanted to tell you. "Okay fuck this. Will you go out on a date with me?" "...a date? I..." It was your turn to hesitate now. "Come on y/n, I think I've filled the hesitation quota for today. Not you too", he whines.
"But you're already asking me out on a date when we didn't even talk after our first encounter?", you ask him unsurely. "Uh, yes. I thought this might come up", Woozi says monotonously on the phone. "Obviously!", you say, now slightly annoyed. "Well, what can I say? I saw the CARATBONG and thought it was a lucky coincidence. And then I saw your face and thought I was the one who was lucky. And then as I talked to you, I finally realised that it was fate. I was fated to see you, meet you, and get to know you. So...uh...to me, it was only natural to ask you out as soon as possible", Woozi finishes in one breath.
"WOW...that's...I'm floored Jihoon", you say as your heart does an entire gymnastics routine. "So, it's a yes to the date?", Woozi asks you hopefully. "Yes, and as fate would have it, I'm standing right opposite the HYBE building hehe" you say while making sure to emphasise the word 'fate'. "Really? I'm in the studio. Can you come towards the left of the building? I could see you from the window!" Woozi tells you excitedly. You move to where the Universe Factory window is and sure enough, there was Woozi. Standing at the window looking at you and waving as he says "Hi" through the phone. "So, when is the date you just asked me on?" you ask as you look at him. "Today. I'll text you the details so be ready, okay?" he says and waves at you before hanging up.
Then he quickly opens the shopping app on his phone and starts looking for a dress to give as a present to you. He finds a beautiful ruby coloured dress after scrolling for a while. He thinks about the first time he saw you with a wine glass in your hand and decides it would be the perfect dress. He selects the size and hopes he got it right from whatever he saw of you at the wine festival from almost a month ago. Then, he texts you. "Hey Y/n, can you send me your home address? I'll send someone to pick you up from there and bring you to HYBE's parking lot. Then we can go together from here in a car that has blacked out windows. Sound good?"
You see the text and muse that it was an ingenious plan. Nothing suspicious crosses your mind so you simply send him the address. "See you soon, xoxo", you add. Unbeknownst to you, Jihoon almost faints from giddiness when he sees the 'xoxo'. He quickly types in your address and makes sure to get the fastest delivery option available, which happened to be more expensive than the dress itself, despite the store being in Yongsan! But all he cared about was seeing you wearing his present; so, after wrapping up the gift situation, he quickly got ready in the spare suit that he keeps in Universe Factory for 'just in case' situations.
As soon as he touched up his appearance and was ready to leave, he gets an update from the shopping app that the delivery has been made. As he feels relieved that his present reached you in time, you call him. "Jihoon, did you just send me a dress?", you ask in disbelief. "I mean, that's it what it looks like, doesn't it?", Woozi replies cheekily. "But whyyy, you didn't have to you know. Also, 'ruby'? Really?', you ask you first whine and then deadpan. "Ah, it wasn't because of my song. It was to commemorate our first meeting - at the wine festival", he explains hurriedly. "Fine, how long till your manager gets here? Do I have to get ready quickly?", you ask worriedly. "Oh wait! I'm actually ready right now. I'll come get you myself and we can go directly from your place. You can text me when you're ready okay? Meanwhile, I'll reserve a table for us. Yeah?", he asks sincerely. "Sure Jihoon. Thank you. I was worried about having to meet your manager before meeting you again. So, I'm glad it's you who I'll be seeing directly" you say as you thank him. "Ah no need to thank me, Y/n. Now go get ready. Bye!", Jihoon says, and you end the call with a soft "Bye Jihoon".
The dress was a perfect fit and you were surprised he guessed your size correctly. But this is also why you realise he's genuinely interested in you and smile to yourself in disbelief. It was true you were obsessed with your bias...but to have your bias be obsessed with you was a whole another feeling. You sent Jihoon a quick text saying you were ready. To your shock, his reply read, "Come down then, I'm already waiting in your apartment's parking lot. I'm inside the black Carnival facing towards the exit". You were touched that he came and chose to wait for you without coming up to your place. 'Such a gentleman', you think to yourself and quickly go down to meet your bias (read: soon-to-be-boyfriend).
You get inside the car and both of you simply stare at each other for a whole minute before both of you breathe out in unison, "Beautiful!". Laughter bubbles immediately as you both realise you are deep in this thing with each other. He holds out his hand to you and you take it, and he simply keeps it on his lap while soothingly rubbing circles with his thumb. The car ride is silent apart from the giggles that come from both of you when you catch the other looking at you.
It's a very fancy place (obviously since your date happens to be an idol with 100+ KOMCA credits) and both of you make your way in through the back entrance and inside a private booth. He pulls out your chair and lets you sit before sitting opposite to you. "I'm glad the dress fit you perfectly. I hope you like it?", he asks shyly. "Of course! I love it, Jihoon! You have pretty good taste I must say. Music and clothing alike", you say as you tease him. "Ah stop bringing up the song, Y/n", he says like a hurt puppy. "Okay okay fine", you placate him and giggle.
The rest of the date goes by in you both getting to know each other by yapping away well into the night, occasionally eating a bite of your otherwise untouched food. Suddenly, you feel very hungry so you stop mid-ramble and say, "I'm really hungry Jihoon, shall we continue talking after we eat?", you ask with puppy eyes and who is Jihoon to refuse. "Sure baby", the nickname slips out very naturally and he doesn't even notice it. You blush at that but continue to eat without telling him anything. Once in the car after a nice dinner, you both start to yap yet again. You were so lost in conversation with each other that the driver had to tell you that you had arrived at your apartment's parking lot. "Can I come till your door and say goodnight?", Jihoon asks hopefully. "Sure honey. Let's go!", you say, a little excited. You don't notice the nickname you slipped in, but Jihoon does and smiles shyly to himself.
As you open your door and turn to wish him a goodnight, he moves a bit closer and asks in a whisper, "Can I kiss you goodnight?". Your heart races as you whisper a "Yes" back. The kiss is magical, it's beyond anything you've ever imagined. Jihoon must be feeling the same, going by his grip on your waist. Your lips move effortlessly against his as if you had been kissing each other all your life. You only separate when both of you need to breathe. "That was some goodnight kiss alright" you say in a daze. "Sorry if I was...", Jihoon begins. "Oh, shut up Jihoon. It was perfect. I loved it", you say as you hug him before letting him go. "Next date, my idea. Okay?", you say as you get ready to close the door. "Sure, love", he says before he walks away from your door after waving goodbye to you.
Several dates go by with the both of you taking turns to make the date as amazing as possible for the other. The one you were currently on was some 13th date or something, but it was a very simple one suggested by you because Jihoon had once again been working himself to the bone and you had wanted to do something about it. "Date idea, listen. I come to Universe Factory with some food, we eat, and then...we take a nap on that unnecessarily huge couch. Okay?", you tell Jihoon sternly in the morning, after seeing him stare at Cubase on his computer all night the previous day. "Okay baby, whatever you say", he says as he gets up to go to work. "See you at lunch, love. Bye", he says and hugs you before leaving.
You make an elaborate spread of Jihoon's favourite dishes, box them up and make your way to HYBE. It had been 2 months since the day you had met Jihoon in Italy, and you had been dating him for 1 month now. It was only natural that all the members got to know you and became close to you instantly, much like the way Jihoon had. They took you under their wing and you had felt like you had won in life - dating your bias and being friends with the other members? Yeah, that's the dream and you were living it. With these thoughts, you reach the building. You go in the general elevator from the parking lot and reach the floor Universe Factory is on.
When you get there, you notice several pairs of shoes outside and knock hesitantly. "Come in, Y/n", a group of people chorus. You realise it's the members and breathe in relief as you enter the code and unlock the door. "Hii Y/n!" says Hoshi cheerfully while Seungcheol waves at you and Vernon nods in your direction. "What're y'all doing?", you ask curiously. "Getting some songwriting done for the next album", Vernon says and tiredly. "You all look tired though. How can you express yourselves properly with tiredness clouding your thoughts?", you ask worriedly. "You have no idea," says Seungcheol, a little miserably. "I got food! Do y'all wanna eat with us?", you offer. "No Y/n, you're very kind. We know you and Jihoon have a date now haha. We'll make our way out and leave you to it", Hoshi says and winks.
"Yeah, yeah whatever. I'll see you guys at practice?" says Woozi as he goes to the door to lock it after they leave. "Sure Woozi. Rest well with Y/n and come to practice with a fresher mind, yeah?" the boys fuss over him a little bit before finally leaving. Meanwhile, you open the packaged food and set the small dining table for the both of you. "WOW! These are all my favourite dishes, baby! Thank you!", Jihoon says with delight in his eyes. "Hehe I'm glad you love it, honey. Dig in", you say as you start eating too.
After a hearty meal, both of you got comfortable on the 'suspiciously wide couch' of the studio. As Woozi hummed long and got ready for his forced/much needed nap, you took a trip down memory lane. It was mere months ago that you had met Woozi by chance at a wine festival in Italy. And you both had hit it off instantly. It was probably the wine, but you had loved 'Yapper Woozi'. Being a CARAT, his personality at the time had been a pleasant whiplash to you. "I can hear you think babe. Please sleep if you don't want to make me regret wandering around Italy & finding you. You giggle as you cuddle him close. "It's probably a good thing that you did wander".
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tags: @forever-atiny, @minhui896, @staranghae, @welcometomyoasis
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Thanks for reading! <3
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thedreadvampy · 4 months
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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talkorsomething · 3 months
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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seilon · 1 month
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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acewithobsessions · 2 months
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Ahfhfgjjhh I hate this
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pyrriax · 3 months
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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piplupod · 6 months
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i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.
like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.
i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??
#i think this is partially why i dont allow myself any good art supplies#I got a set of charcoals several years ago and I've barely touched them bc im terrified of fucking them up#but if i get smth from the dollar store? that stuff is getting used immediately#bc its cheap and its not very good quality#im not afraid of using things up. im afraid of ruining them#im such a careful person too but i just. always end up fucking up some time#idk what is wrong w me#this sounds so melodramatic but god im tired#i still feel sick that my nice shirt from the 70s got a tiny hole burned into it bc of fire sparks that i didnt know were around#like i just. cannot have nice things idk. i have the absolute worst luck it seems like. or maybe i just am not careful enough#idk how to be any more careful though honestly fhfkdl#like i either keep things stored away safely sealed up or i am exceedingly careful in handling them#and do everything i can think of and find out to make sure nothing happens#and yet !#i just feel like a massive idiot for this idk fhfmkl silly me to think i could be trusted w this instrument#there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex#but i either attempt a fix myself or never play it again bc getting a professional is too expensive#so ... i guess I'll have to take the dive and tinker w it if i want even a chance at playing again#im just terrified I'll break it even further#also i dont think i have access to everything I'll need for fixing it depending on whats gone wrong#so idk if it'll even be possible even if its doable like. i need Tools and leather and felt#i have spare leather scraps but no felt :|#and no special pliers fjfkdl#argh argh im so upset w myself for this#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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i need to get over myself and learn the languages i want to learn if i want to learn them like i just need to do it if i want to learn them then i should go out and learn them and like . fuck whatever else any of it means . yes it IS embarrassing to learn a language like the ones i want to learn as an adult but who CARES and yes i KNOW my grandparents will never want to speak to me in those languages but who CARES if it's important to me it can be important to me anyway
#had a moment last night bc i was apparently having an identity crisis which was random#but i had a moment where i was like well even if i learn all these languages no one in my family is going to want to speak to me#in those languages because of [insert reasons i don't need to go into here] and so ultimately none of this is like . cultural Really#it's just me wanting to feel as though i am connected to something when i will never be#and maybe that's true or maybe it isn't but if i want to learn them i should learn them anyway like . at the end of the day#i DO want to learn those languages and i think it would be interesting and i would love to be able to speak to people#in those languages even if the people i speak to aren't related to me and i would love to be able to speak languages that aren't english#and that all stays true even if i am not able to have the cultural connection through language with my own family#like i can go on and on about how disconnected i feel from my culture bc of everything that has ever happened in my life#but how i still feel alienated bc i'm Not White to white people and all of that is true but not learning a language doesn't make it#any better and maybe learning a language won't make it better either but i think it's a better use of my time#ALSO !!!!! NO ONE EVER GOES OH WHY WLD U LEARN FRENCH OR SPANISH [OR INSERT EUROPEAN LANG HERE] u have no real cultural connection to it!!!#so like why is it different bc i want to learn asian languages??? it's not! except in my head! or maybe irl too but i'm just saying#that i think i make all of this a much bigger deal than it has to be#that being said i did just try to look up classes and they r all for children and about keeping children culturally connected 2 their famil#l m f a o but that can't be ALL the classes ............. i'll work it out is what i'm saying and i need 2 get OVER myself#bc none of it is that deep and i can feel conflicted all i like but i should fucking DO smth about it at least#anyway i am posting this in the hopes that i can beat it into my own head bc i am sick and tired of being weird about learning#languages and i need 2 get over my weird cultural identity issues if i want to like . live a life where i don't want to explode and die
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years
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They are Looking
#Tuvok's pose is so weird /affectionate#they all look kinda cute here idk why it's like they're kids staring at a worm#'Hey Chakotay come look at this! Found something weird.'#Imagine if that fucking pan flute was diegetic#Tuvok: Commander look at this#Chakotay: -looks-#Neelix: What's that noise?#Tuvok: A pan flute. It means he is remembering something. It happens every time.#Chakotay's dad is fucking killing it in that fit though....he said 'I am an adventure guy and EVERYONE needs to know it on SIGHT'#teen Chakotay's casting is really good~!#screenshot#Hehehe I like how Neelix follows Tuvok around...doesn't seem to be doing much just there for moral support#Tuvok got into that elevator very smoothly...so elegant#Aww HEHE the 'I breed orchids too!' scene was v nice#Tuvok slowly looking down at Neelix's hand I can hear him going 'touching me....why is he touching me....'#and Chakotay's laughing to himself~#Chakotay: You guys are the flower squad now :) get to work flower boys :)#liveblogging#Doctor's also being cute...Kes was like 'I wish you'd have more compassion! Maybe if you were sick you'd understand'#and even though he thinks its gonna be no problem (bc he doesn't know what being sicks means or is! He's just a baby!)#He /does/ immediately go 'Kes look~!!! I'm sick just like you said~!!'#O H MYGOD WHAT??? SULU KNEW TUVOK AND CHAKOTAY??? Hahaha...aww they could have met~ (I know they didn't though)#Oh I was wondering how young starfleet academy students were! Chakotay can enter at 15 ... damn theyreally have these kids for LIFE huh#H EY CHAKOTAY....I KNOW WHY BUT ALSO...IT'S /WILD/ TO THINK GETTING NAKED MAKES YOU /LESS/ THREATENING#If I saw a weird alien and that weird alien stripped and started yelling about how I had nothing to fear I'd definitely not believe them
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metagalacticx · 2 years
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drive-in movie date, dinner at a fast-food place at one a.m.
fictober day ?+1✨
this isn’t relevant to the story but: i miss them ❣️
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They’re barely two miles outside of Beacon Hills when Mason starts dozing off, head tipped against the glass and his scarf bunched up around his neck. 
He should be in bed.
If Corey were stronger, he thinks Mason would be. Curled up by his side and wrapped in his favourite blankets with a bowl of soup on the night table. But Corey’s developed incredible resistance to nearly every strain of Mason Hewitt’s persuasive techniques.
He knows Mason’s Mom would disapprove of him being out of the house with a cold, but Mason laid the facts bare and Corey couldn’t argue, especially with the sore throated raspiness he used to declare that he wasn’t really sick.
Fact number 1: this was the last weekend they’d be spending together for at least two months and they’d been planning this one for a while.
Fact number 2: Would you really want to leave without having a fancy dinner with me? I got all dressed up.
Fact number 3: you love me. 
There was something about the way he said ‘You love me’, like he was asking. Like he wasn’t sure the answer would still be yes.
Corey had scooped him in a hug and sighed. Because yes, he absolutely did. Does. Forever will.
So here they are on their way to a drive-in movie, Mason asleep in the passenger seat and rain clouds hovering above, fanning the flames of uncertainty and guilt roiling in Corey’s gut.
Mason shifts a few times, and Corey looks over with mounting concern, but his breathing remains stable.
Corey wants to wrap him in the blankets they brought, but he doesn’t want to pull over for that, so he toes the accelerator a little more firmly and tries to outrun the clouds.
They don’t make it. In that they do, but the clouds get there before them. Rain pelts the roof of the car, unceasing in its onslaught. The ground is punctured repeatedly and  left with widening puddles of silt. And just like that, the planned date is all but ruined. He’s a little anxious to wake Mason, so at first he just sits there with the car in park while his boyfriend snores lightly in the seat next to him. He bites his lip and stares straight ahead, hoping that the rain will ease enough for the event to be uncancelled. 
But they have no such luck.
When Mason finally stirs Corey smiles, loose and tender.
"What happened?"
"Sorry," he says, about everything. He figures no explanation he could give would matter anyway. He’s just sorry about it all.
Mason’s eyes go round and he straightens, looking around like he could find a spot to peek through the steady sheet of rain. Like he could see in the dark. "Oh... We can still do dinner, right?"
"We kinda missed the time…"
"How long was I asleep?"
Corey isn’t exactly sure but he thinks it’s pointless to fill in the rest of the story, because it doesn’t matter now. But he can tell Mason wants to, so he tells him about the rain and what time it started, how heavy it got. He tells him about the reservation and how long ago it was booked for. He checks the time on the dashboard and tries not to wince as he watches Mason’s face fall when he tells him how long he was asleep in the passenger seat.
"Sorry," he mumbles, and Corey doesn’t like it.
Corey wants to wrap him up, keep him warm. So he leans over the console and takes him in his arms. Mason sags against him and they both take deep breaths. On the exhale Mason coughs.
"You okay?"
He brings his hands to Mason’s back and rubs.
Mason hums and squeezes Corey closer. His forehead is warm against his neck, fingertips burning through his shirt.
"We should get you home."
Mason coughs again. "Can we get food first?"
Corey smiles, "Yeah. We passed a Wendy’s a little ways back. We could probably make it. But I think we should stop somewhere else and get you some soup."
"No soup," Mason groans. Corey chuckles because the protest devolves into a coughing fit.
"Your Mom wouldn’t like it if I didn’t at least buy you some."
"Fine," he drags out. "No chicken, though. That’s for sick people. I’m just having an off day."
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kenobster · 1 year
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theres a pattern every time I try to use Tumblr... no matter how many times I have left/come back, how differently I try to do things, no matter how much fun I've been having, etc... The first several months are great, honeymoon phase, amazing. Then around this time frame, something upsetting happens (maybe this time, it was being stuck with a kidney stone and languishing around in bed for 2 weeks, idk) and this site starts negatively affecting my mental health ... to the point where I'm stuck in this self-pitying feedback look where everything suddenly feels bleak, bitter, insincere, and super lonely (for literally no reason as far as I can tell).
I don't understand why, and it's extremely frustrating because I have been (and am!) enjoying myself otherwise. :(
Does anyone else get like this? Or have thoughts? I'm gonna talk to my therapist, but historically this has remained an unsolved subject and so anything might be useful to me at this point T.T
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hauntingblue · 16 days
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Jaya time
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I love these moments of nearly cosmic horror when they encounter inexplicable things (at first) they are so intriguing
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Is strawhat here?! *Megan thee stallion saying AAH 😜*
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This cover just goes hard... Get it chopper
#usopp and luffy wanting to go to skypiea and nami only gets it going when luffy says she won't do it cause she can't... now it's personal#robin getting nami an eternal pose..... yeah exactly#luffy eating takoyaki immediately after he finds an octopus... sanjis speed is no joke#THE FUCKING GUY SHOOTING THE SEAGULL IS THE ONE IN BLACKBEARDS CREW!!!! DAMN#dying swiftly or not is result of your actions??? i guess man whatever#FUCKING BURGESS TOO!!! and the fucking transing your gender virus maker.... here luffy doesnt explode!!!#teach and luffy having complete opposite opinions on everything.... having bad vibes immediately.... incredible its like luffy knew#luffy doesnt fight bellamy bc he isnt worth the fight sinply bc they have different ideals... yeah.. also emerald city when#the pirates that do it for the money and the pirates that do it for their dreams... which is weird bc luffys foil (?) is blackbeard#also a d also a pirate with dreams (the same one even?) but they go about it in two different ways still.... compelling#why dies luffy think about shanks and ace when he hears teach outside the bar i an going insane... why does luffy just stare at him#WHAT ARE YOU THINKING LUFFY!! DOES HE SEE HIM AND SEE COMPETITION??? THATS WHY SHANKS AND ACE TELLING HIM TO BE A GOOD PIRATE??#how do they know about the them. why do they not tell anyone. to this day they havent said A WORD#noland was also from 400 years ago.... we got joyboy noland and toki#also are the next cover stories about ace.... please......... i need to see him#el señor de la noche moment (luffy fighting bellamy) draws near... i am so excited#i love ace being a hobo and just jumping on whatever boat he can find to eat and sleep and nobody refuses bc he's with whitebeard ajdjajkqw#ALSO I MISSED YOU KING!!!! COME BACK TO MEEEE#gorusei kuma and doffy first appearance omg... hello everyone#'if we let redhair act more than its sufficient it could be problematic' does this mean they can control him? shanks sus evidence n.1#'redhair is not one to change the world on his own' is he waiting for luffy??? is that it?? is shanks rogers successor to aid joyboy???#he told something to shanks before dying about laughtale and left that work for him so thats why he went after the one piece right after#joyboy manifested in luffy. thats why he refused so outright to buggy when he proposed to sail together to find it... maybe shanks not evil#lafitte was a cop and is the one to propose blackbeard as shichibukai? for some reason even if he hasnt done anything yet ✍️#whitebeard appearance... loving this in between arc issues even if they are not in between arcs... in between islands arc i guess#see??? why does benn beckman care about what the gov thinks... why would they give af and why would they even think about it#fucking blackbeard was after luffy..... but he 'settled' for ace i am going to be sick#blackbeard should have died when the knock up stream destroyed his ship what happened there....#also i didnt notice cricket smoking so much and trembling akdhsksjk he is hoping he didnt send luffy to die#reading one piece
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nomairuins · 2 months
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the difficulty of trying 2 explain to ppl that im Not being self deprecating or belittling my mental illnesses when i say something that could be perceived as overly critical towards myself but that thise things actually r true abt me. ppl did die.
#i wrote a whole post trying to explain and then i realized it judt wasnt particularly worth it so i out it in the drafts. so i wrote for#like 20 minutes and all i got is soooo insanely dissociated . can we kill connor im sick of this fucking guy#idk. i wish often incould just project my brain on a wall or sometjing abd ppl would get it and i wouldnt have to explain it#bc everytjing i say even when it sounds crazy or it sounds oike im habing a breakdown its like. its how it actually is its the truth but#nobody ever fucking understands bc i cant. word it in a way that makes it make sense to people#like my most prominent 'delusion' i cant fucking explain it to people bc theyre like Woah thats rly rly rly concerning and sounds like its#rly harmful for yourself to believe that but it literally isnt I have to believe it bc its one of the only things that actually is keeping#me alive but if i ever fucking talk abt it nobody understands it#sometimes it is very scary and it makes me miserable that its true but i know that it is true. ive woken up in terror crying abt it Multiple#times but ik that its true and its a good thing its true bc it means i am alive roght now. as alive as i always am at least#but wtvr. the post wasnt even originally abt that#it was abt dropout stuff and like. yk. bc when i say I dropped out bc i was lazy and whiny ppl think im being mean 2 myself and erasing like#the depression and the ptsd and the Identity shit and the dissociation and the panic attacks and the seizures and grief and stuff#but its like. yes all that also was going on but i also was just lazy. if i wasnt lazy i couldve judt fucking graduated and i wouldnt be#trapped now#<- That is only true for me . ik thats like a stupid thing to say but this is why i cant rlt Be honest abt how i feel abt myself dropping#out is bc i get horrific fucking guilt bc i Was judt lazy and fucking stupid and i Am a bad person for not graduating hs#but that is not true for other dropouts for other dropouts deopping out doesnt mean youre dumb or lazy and it doesnt make you a bad person#but its different for me ik everybody thinks theyre the exception but i am i Am just lazy i am just stupid and its my fault. specifically.#idk i need to go lke slam my head into a wall.#idk what happened i wasnt fucking doing bad and then i made like. a loghthearted post abt sometjing and derailed in the tags and now its#oh i remembered. i tried to sign up for a ged class and encountered 1 obstacle and fucking gave up . God. i loterally havent changed at all#we neeedddd to get rid of connor or at least get a bew one in so fucking sick of being rhe one im so sick of being Connor i dont want it#anymore . head on pike#idk. im fine. im just habing a momey. im.probably judt pissy bc i didnt sleep. maybe ill take an edible
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