#i am getting it done like dishes are done and laundry is in progress and dinner will go in the oven in like tenish minutes

[izzy-b-hands]

Brain is going entirely too fast today, and even the usual edibles and coping skills combo aren't slowing it as much as I'd like. what the fuck now lmao

[demonanastasi]

Dear fellow adhders:

It is okay to sleep among the pile of clothes you left on your bed because your brain was done with putting away laundry after you put away everything leading up to that.

The dirty dishes surrounding and resting in the sink are well to be there. You needn't wash any of them until you need a specific dish, at which only wash what you need to use immediately. Or, simply eat off a paper towel or wax paper or drink straight from the container in the fridge. If dishes are developing mold, let them be; they can be cleaned when you are mentally ready to clean them.

If there is an unpleasant smell and you can't clean to attend to it, use a good-smelly to ease your mind, and clean when you are ready (good-smellies i.e. lighting candles or incense to make the room smell nice, spraying fragrances on your clothing or comfort plushies so you are not traipsing or cuddling perturbed).

Caffeine is your friend, and utilize sugar for dopamine.

If autism is comorbid, engage in your special interests liberally to be infused with the joy and energy that dopamine you get from it brings regularly. Playlists of special interest songs/songs pertaining to/reminding you of your special interests are a passive boon that boosts spirits and energy. Place illustrations/pictures/etc. reminders of your special interests around your home so when your distractible mind ganders, you get a boost of dopamine.

Above all other things in life, focus on dopamine maintenance. Our brains have a natural deficiency in dopamine generation compared to neurotypical brains, so we must meet their baseline first before doing the things they do without issue. Truly, dopamine is the key. Getting that need met allows all the rest to fall into place -- not in a neurotypical way, but in an adhd (/audhd) way. Our lives won't be the same as neurotypical lives. Why should we compare our lives to theirs? Why should we feel externally-imposed shame for how we lead our lives? We shouldn't. We should never.

Point of this post is, shame has no place in adhd lives. We can carry out our existences in peace in our messy surroundings. Dishes remaining by the sink, with some washed and others not. Unswept floors, cat hair accumulating in corners. Laundry increasing in height in the basket. Stepping over a paper that is to be thrown away only when we are ready. A zen life in an abode neurotypicals would judge negatively and make demands of.

Our homes are not to be demanded of, realms of peace they are.

Sincerely, an audhd man who is making it on his own and leading a relatively peaceful and stable life, thanks to honoring his brain's natural ways and orchestrating his life within that innate framework rather than one alien constructed and placed before him. Shedding the judgments cast down by others in his past. It's a work in progress, unlearning the forced shame that causes us to feel distressed and useless (when we are not!) but I am close.

Don't try to lead a neurotypical life. Lead a YOU life.

We must all relearn peace for ourselves.

Attain peace, and freedom from neurotypical judgment, and pursue the dopamine like your life depends on it.

Because our lives do 💚✨

[aprillikesthings]

I have flipped the laundry and put the towels away and re-made the bed, I have made dinner and done a load of dishes, it's time for more She-Ra!

s5 ep4 Stranded

but first do you want to see my dinner

Rice Cabbage stir-fried in light sesame oil w/ garlic A couple of eggs Sesame seeds

SO SIMPLE but so good!!! Seriously this turned out perfect. God damn.

BUT TIME FOR CARTOON

Adora: "Let me get this straight: Catra saved you from Horde Prime?"

lol

pfft

Man I am not going to screenshot all the things her face does in a few seconds, but remember waaaaaay early on when I was comparing their facial expressions when Catra and Adora hear each other's names, to that scene in Arcane where Vi realizes Caitlyn is into women, and Vi's face says a TON of things in 1.5 seconds? Adora's face here goes on a JOURNEY: confusion, shock (as shown above), anger, something I can only describe as "well I obviously have to rethink some things"/"maybe I've been wrong about her this whole time", some kind of fatigue tinged with regret, and then she slides down the wall to sitting.

It's just really well done.

Also I know there's a ton of videos showing the progression between Catra and Adora in the last season and I am forcing myself not to watch them or any of the meme videos until I AM DONE WITH THE SHOW because I don't want to dilute the emotional impact of watching them when I get to them.

Anyway Glimmer goes to apologize for the shit she did to make everything go to hell on Etheria, but then the ship goes bumpy bump and stops moving. But yeah Bow is keeping his distance from Glimmer right now.

So Glimmer sobs in Adora's arms instead. And the ship goes bumpty again. Entrapta says it's because they're out of fuel crystals but there's a planet with some nearby.

Aw there's a lovely interaction between Scorpia and Swift Wind back on Etheria.

Back to Space:

I've just noticed it looks like a ship anchor, which I assume is deliberate, since it would be Horde Prime's "anchor" on a planet.

Yeah Bow's still mad about it.

I love Entrapta (she's talking about how the old fuel crystals are probably fused to the engine by now)

LOL THE SHIP (Darla) RESPONDS "I do not feel pain" and Entrapta immediately smiles again "oh okay!"

pFFT

she WAGGLES HER EYEBROWS AHAHAHAH

*looks at Adora* *looks at Vi* *thinks about how I've wanted to cosplay both Catra and Caitlyn*

hm. *side-eyeing self*

EDIT: ALSO THEY BOTH WEAR RED JACKETS LOLOL

Anyway Adora fell in a hole

Glimmer: "Just stay put, we're coming. We'll have to find another way down." Adora: "I think I see a light. I'm gonna go towards it." Bow, freaking out: "Don't go towards the light!"

LOLOL

And Swift Wind does a little story-telling into the sky about how things are going on Etheria. It's cute.

And Adora gets in a fight with other people looking for fuel crystals.

They're also from a planet Horde Prime destroyed. Also it turns out the crystals are nearly impossible to get to.

awwww

and then "he has to pay for what he did! And he--he has someone on his ship. Someone I--" and she looks back and forth and then stands up straight again. "We're stopping him! Period."

BAHAHAH

"if your friend is with Horde Prime, it's already too late"

"I mean, she used to be, but that was a long time ago,"

"but then she saved Glimmer. And maybe that means there's still good in her, and now, I don't know, it's--"

BAHAHA (remember when that was a relationship option on facebook? "It's complicated"?)

(lol I accidentally closed the tab and had to reopen it and it wouldn't let me take this without the rating???)

Anyway they're all like, Nobody stands up to Prime and survives.

They all head out to find the fuel crystals but there's a bunch of earthquakes and they have to GET THE FUCK OUT, and as their only way out starts to collapse--

Adora manages to make a way out!

Entrapta is like, that was She-Ra, obviously

ANYWAY there's some lovely derring-do and Glimmer gets the fuel crystals, Bow saves her life a couple of times over, and everyone makes it out of the cave before it collapses. Then the star kids (who haven't seen magic in centuries) offer to join the cause.

Back on the ship, Glimmer does an amazing apology speech to Bow:

Glimmer: "Look, I know you're still mad at me. Maybe you'll be mad at me for a really long time. I deserve it. And maybe--maybe we'll--maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be. But I'm not going to stop trying to make it better. I made a mistake with the Heart of Etheria. I should have listened to you, and I'm sorry. You get to be mad, for as long as you need to be. But I'm not going anywhere. And when you're ready, I'll be here."

And Bow accepts her apology

And Adora watches, and then turns and looks out the window

Are you thinking of someone you'd maybe like to reconnect with? To maybe forgive? hm?????

LOL I SPOKE TOO SOON Bow and Glimmer notice the way Adora is staring into the stars and ask if she's okay

"and I know Catra was our enemy and she's done a lot of bad things, and hurt a lot of people, but--

;_;

the poor thing. she's so torn up about it.

Glimmer: "Whatever you need to do, I'm with you." Bow: "Then let's do this. Best Friend Squad style."

And there's a group hug.

AND SWIFT WIND FELT ADORA DO THE SHE-RA THING even if only for that few seconds, wooo!

End of episode! Roll credits!

OH GOD THE NEXT ONE IS SAVE THE CAT

AAAAHHHHHHH okay first I gotta flip the laundry again

[wellitsjustmeagain]

Sappy sleepy moment here now that I've just crawled into bed and have to return to work tomorrow

Sorry, using tumblr as a journal again, but it's a nice way to work through things. 💕

Often I think about the philosophy teacher who taught the ethics course I had to take in college. He was the type of teacher who stood in front of the classroom without notes, could talk for the two hour period in a way that was almost leisurely and easy to understand, and answered any and all questions with barely hesitation off the cuff.

You could tell he liked what he did. He enjoyed the subject matter, and knew the course in a way that looked effortless. I love teachers who can talk about complicated subjects in easy ways. Knowing the content so familiarly that you can meet people at every level. It makes it accessible. I feel like being able to accurately turn jargon into common language is such a testament to a deep understanding and the work that goes into really knowing something. Often when I learn things my biggest goal is getting to a point where I could explain it to someone else.

ANYWAY, I don't agree with a lot of Aristotle, and to be honest I don't remember as much from the course as I'd like to in general. So earnestly, I can't speak much to moral ethics in a way that's backed by any of the greats, and in sorry if I butcher this entirely haha. But I enjoyed the concept of intention in habits. That to do things well, meant to do things intentionally and exceptionally over and over again. That within the bell curve of being good at something can mean you become carelessly confident in the act of doing what you had once put quality effort into. No longer mindfully doing the tasks you've done a million times.

I've spent a lot of time on vacation dreading going back, and dreading what I have or have not done productively. Of feeling like I should be fixing my life with this time and creating new and interesting things. To have a great deal to show for it. But the truth is, that I just needed rest! And needed to be aimless. And I needed to not have anyone need anything from me for periods of time. That hanging out with family, sometimes friends, and rearranging and cleaning and going through things in my apartment is good! That the times I took notes were good! That it was okay that I slept a lot and spent majority of my time getting lost in the sisyphean tasks of dishes and laundry and tidy ups while twitch streams and vods played in the background!

I put in a lot of work over the last few years in regard to shame not being a good motivator for me. That I constantly feel shameful. Shameful of doing too much or not enough. Shame over not knowing what to do or what the right thing to do is. Or even what order to do things in, and then not doing anything in a decision paralysis stupor. Nothing constructive comes from this shame, so it had to be reworked.

And I got really good at it! But I was good at it because I was mindful of it. Because I made sure to steer thoughts that weren't productive into kinder, and more understanding alternatives. But in that confidence of getting better, it's easy to think I no longer needed that effort. That I've fixed it, and am cured! But throughout this entire vacation I was so harsh with myself, and I'm realizing now that that's kind of silly, and unnecessary. So we're rephrasing!

I'm proud of myself for crawling into bed earlier (though it's now well past 1am, it was bound to happen)

I'm proud of myself for getting things cozy and cleaner before the week started. For sneaking in dishes before quiet hours. And I'm proud of myself for doing some sort of bed time routine before crawling under the covers. I'm proud of myself for remembering my alarm!

I'm proud of the progress I made to change my living space. And I'm proud of the doodles I did here and there.

I'm proud of the amount of time I slept. I'm proud of asking for help when I've needed it. And I'm proud of myself for being kind and thoughtful to myself right now, despite feeling so much dread about returning to work.

I'm proud of myself for knowing that it feels really good when someone else sings these praises to me instead, but it's just as good and important (if not more so) that I do it for myself.

It's all going to be ok. It'll take practice, always, but I'll be ok!!

[maybebecomingms]

my sweet escape(s), delineated

August 18th, 2023

This is it, confidence is all I need This is how you're going to save me from myself From all that fails I see you & me & everything in between And I know I'm wrong but you long to Fuel the fire beneath these tired bones

I really, really hate that overtly religious songs from yesteryear have had such an impact on me and I can't stop listening to them.

Progress, I confess is way overdue I get caught up in the things that I've held onto

OK. STOP!

Anyway.

I used to belt this song out driving my 97 Cavalier after work as the summer sun was setting. Driving home to my cheap, tiny, whitewashed apartment on the edge of town. "What's with you always living on the fringes?" one of my friends asked once. He's got a point, even now.

You'd think it was a goddamn palace. I LOVED living there. That was such a sweet summer. I had gotten away from a shaky, unsupportive, unsafe situation and I was thriving on my own.

A couple years later, I cried tears of joy as I left the keys on the kitchen counter of that apartment and sang this song on the way to my new home the day after my wedding. I'd outgrown the whitewashed walls and pale blue floor tiles that kept coming unglued. A whole new life awaited me.

There's so many parallel feelings in the present day. I have once again abandoned a shaky, unsupportive, unsafe situation and struck out on my own. This time I drive to the edge of a different but nearby town, and the wood paneling and kitschy wallpaper of a 1970s mobile home. And it's only half the trailer! And I have to wash my dishes by hand and haul my laundry elsewhere.

And I don't even care! Because again I am thriving. I'm not getting drunk anymore, and I am eating better food, and I am doing yoga and cuddling with my cat and getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

Next year will hopefully be the next sweet escape. It will hopefully put an end to this every-other-weekend business, and I won't have to miss my person all week anymore. Moving 60 miles away feels like a big thing - bigger than anything I've done before. I have a lot of feelings about it.

But I still feel used and taken for granted around here sometimes, too, and it would be nice to leave that behind.

I'm stronger every step I take back to... RUN back to you A place of sweet escape I fell into

I legitimately hope it's the last time. I don't want to spend my life feeling like I continually need to escape situations that weren't what I had hoped for.

Whatever happens next, I know now that it's me. Not god. Not another person. Nobody can save me. Only I can do that.

And I have done that, over and over again. It would be nice to take a break for a minute.

Just to rest in knowing I have saved myself and it's the last time I'll need to.

[aamethyst000]

i didn't realize exacctly how slow my progress will be (july 9,24 - 10:56pm)

holy fuck i did not realize how slow my progress in life will be! it feels so weird to be 26. like, not only the progress of my name and gender change, im talking about my progress in life! the changes im gonna have, the hardships ill probably cry to. i thought teenage life was hard, no siree. the adult life is difficult. once the adults before you leave you alone to be independent and strong and whatnot, they all end up telling you how wrong you are and how you're living life wrong. one side is trying to control how you live, the other wants you to be dependant and independent and some how balance that out on your own. anyway, getting off track here. today i woke up feeling lazy but also feeling pretty good about myself! i actually wanted to clean the house and do the dishes without complaint! which is a rare thing for me since teenage hood. it can get pretty bad on most days. my little brother and i did the dishes today and a little bit of sweeping. i am planning on doing the rest of the house chores tomorrow and start on the towels that were supposed to be done last week. which kind of sucks that it is only me doing the laundry, but what the hell can i do when we got my mothers' brother staying and only doing his own laundry, a 17 who is overly cranky, yknow, normal teenager bs, hes gotta do his own laundry whether he likes it or not. and a mother whose arthiritis hurts her enire body and really bad insomnia. 10 year old me would be very surprised of where i am at right now and 14 year old me would be very confused.

july 11,24 - 11:16pm - just got through washing the dishes and cleaned up a bit in the living room. finally and now i have time to clean up my room and start washing the towels, we desparately need clean towels considering how hot the weather will be this week. you know the funny thing about this? i have stopped taking my anti depressants for nearly a month now! i think i only need to take them during the winter. they seem to work better by then, which is weird to me. anyway, now that i have more trans tapes, im going to wash the towels tomorrow and have a bath by the next day. my poor room has been a mess for too long now and it has been bugging me for a couple of days. doing this will help me feel better about buying myself a new 3ds and cases for it, being more prepared about taking care of it than i did the first time around. i ended up buying another black 3ds, kinda thought i wanted a white one but i ended up changing my mind part way through the search of the new 3ds. i found one for somewhat cheap that came up to 195 plus 10 shipping which was fckn awesome! i so cant wait till they arrive now. though they wont be here till the first week of next month. i know ill be impatient about it but that is not new at all lmao im impatient with every perchase i make, i just gotta keep myself distracted till the items get here.

july 18,24 3:43am - i am planning on rearranging my room to open up the air vent in my room. since i bought the 3ds, i feel like i need to ''earn''' when it finally arrives here, but i am hoping to god that it works for me or id cry. well, not really, i'd be sad about it but wouldnt do nothing about it until i have enough money to save again to buy another 3ds. hopefully it wont come to that at any point for me. anyway, as im typing this out, i am wathcing chuggaconnroy's lets play of kirby 3ds. i heard about his recent..situation, not happy to hear it and not sure how to feel, not entirely anyway. not gonna lie, it kind of sucks and nearly ruined my day. im better now, i heard about this a week ago, so im fine. i think. i havent been able to go to sleep at a reasonable time lately and it sucks. some nights i dont go to sleep until it is literally gets really bright outside (5am or 7am), i did not think id be slowly devolping insomnia at the age of 26. though, i shouldnt be too surprised considering the fact that my whole ass family has it and possibly autism or adhd. not gonna lie, my whole family is a mess. but they are my mess, i guess. you ever feel that way? they are not the best, toxic in their own way (the older ones, not my cousins), when it some down to it, they are there for you (until they sabotage that closeness during any death) they seem to have continued the generational trauma. i hope my cousins are doing alright, some if them have a kid or two, others are single or childless, but they all have a decent job that helps them keep their apartment. so, i hope they are doing well.

by this point, i have one more journal entry to edit and double check on, and a set of papers to look for in my room. i was supposed to mail it back to the place i was getting my legal (now dead)name to my current one, it is coming up to a year so that it is my own fault on that one, considering that all i needed to do was give them the signed papers that i have right now. well, i can do that now and be a bloody adult about it instead of putting it off for tomorrow, every single day. is it weird to still feel like a teenager (16-7) at the age of 26? should i go to therapy for this? is this normal or should i be worried? does every other adult feel like this? and not just me and my friends possibly being delusional or just dramatic about it. either way, i am not entirely sure if ill find the answer or if itll be given to me. i am going to have a puff and then head to bed, it is already very late so im gonna have a puff and enjoy whatever sleep i can get. good night/day, readers!

[blowingsoapbubbles]

What do you do when you want to climb out of your own skin

Today started out pretty great, actually. I woke up at 5 when my alarm went off and not only did I feel relatively rested, but I realized that the allegedly planned power outage didn't happen. So, my sleep never got interrupted, my fan never shut off and unrelated to the power but very related to my sleep quality, I didn't snap a post off of my dental appliance in my sleep.

I can feel myself clenching my teeth while I sleep some nights. Most nights, if I'm honest. Which is annoying as according to my out of network dentist, should not happen. This high tech, $4,000 piece of acrylic hand crafted for me specifically with state of the art lasers and 3D imaging, is supposed to prevent me from grinding and clenching at night, and help me breathe better.

It does help me breathe better, but I still clench and grind. And when I bring it up, it's explained to me that, "Well, in a perfect scenario, you wouldn't," as if that makes it okay that I spent a year paying it off and months getting adjusted to it only to learn that it isn't exactly what I was promised.

In any case, I didn't break a post off. So I do not have to glue it back together for the third time this week.

I woke up refreshed all things considered. I got out of bed, put in my contacts, dropped my dental appliance into the cleaning solution and followed the little entourage my cats do every single morning as they walk me to the food dish so I can fulfill my obligations as cat mom and feed them, for they have never ever been fed ever.

I got my energy drink, I took my meds, I checked my farm in Klondike and I reviewed what I had to get done today.

Wash the car, get chicken food, cut A's hair, put on her press on nails, meet with the pet sitter, take a 7a.m. conference call, write social media posts for my unpaid side hustle, fold laundry, etc. etc. etc.

I text my partner, tell him good morning and send videos of the cats. He'll see them eventually, I get up before he does.

Then the car. Easy, no problems, I love that car. Washed and half way waxed before I had to stop for the call.

Got on the call, simple. No one really wanted to talk so it was done and over in 20 minutes and we went back to the zero communication this job requires.

Go back to finish the car, get a good morning from my partner finally, text him back a few times, updating on the car progress, telling him I need to make a run into town to get chicken food, that I'm about to take a quick shower.

He replies with, "Can I call?"

I say sure, thinking I just needed the quickest rinse, I can hop in before he even sees this response and be practically done before he calls. And that's more or less true.

He calls and says, "Just wanted to tell you I love you, I can let you go if you're busy," and I reply that I am, but I always feel bad when someone acts like I said I was too busy to talk to them. I am busy, but I'm always busy, you asked if you could call, I said yes so clearly I'm not so busy I can't talk. Otherwise, I would have said that typically. So, I feel a little put out.

Does he not *want* to talk to me? Why would he set it up like that? So that I immediately have to like, reassure him I'm not too busy, even though by accepting the call, I did say that, didn't I?

---------------------------------------------------

We had a little disagreement the night before last, so small in fact that he didn't even realize I was upset. I tried to let it go, but upon reflection, I couldn't. I felt very disrespected when it happened and when I brought it up, it was brushed away.

I wanted to bring it up again, the next morning but swallowed that desire to be understood because he had a very important day ahead of him and I didn't want to trouble him with my feelings. So, I let it go, and tried to genuinely stop thinking about it and I think I did manage to do that. I felt okay, I thought, that was a silly thing to get so upset about, sure he brushed it off and that's actually what upsets me, because it's a pattern but like, I can learn to accept things and is it really worth a whole discussion and would I actually feel better if I brought it up again, in fact, I feel fine now so I should just drop it.

But, I wasn't fine and when he called me later that day, I felt really cheated out of being heard and understood, and since he was no longer doing the very important thing, I figured it was an okay time to bring it up. He had a long drive home, this was an ideal time to have what might be a little longer of a discussion.

Turns out, no and I was wrong and now I have to apologize for making him feel bad for feeling disrespected and I regret bringing it up and he "was just trying to help," but I never asked for help so now he, "will never try to help again, fine," which obviously wasn't what I wanted and now I've ruined the whole thing.

He tells me he's sorry, but he justifies what he did and I don't understand why I can't just express my hurt and be heard and understood, and he probably feels like no matter what he does it's never good enough. And now we're both sad again.

Again, I let it go, I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm the worst girlfriend ever and now I feel obligated to be extra sweet to make up for hurting my partner's feelings for not being grateful for his unsolicited help that didn't feel helpful in fact, made me feel like an outsider in my own romantic relationship. But, I should have just let it go, it wasn't that important.

------------------------------------------

So, this morning, when he calls me, I'm sure I'm finally over the thing. But I'm not. He gives his opinion on something absolutely unimportant to our relationship but because it slightly pushes back on something I said 10 seconds ago, it feels like a personal attack and I'm immediately right back where I was last night where I'm wondering why on earth you're trying to justify the actions that caused me to feel insecure in this relationship and why do you always have to contradict every single thing I say, why do I constantly feel like I have to fight to be heard, why are you even taking the side of the thing that upset me...

and there it is.

---------------------

I don't know what happened to me when I was growing up that makes me feel like no one ever understands me and worse, never tries to understand me. I don't know what it was.

But I know it's making my adult life feel like I can't make any progress in my relationships and interactions with people.

I don't know if it's even me, but I sure as hell will feel the shame and guilt of causing harm, even if I didn't really do anything. Especially because I don't know if I did anything.

Am I too sensitive? Am I right? Did I express myself in a healthy and mature manner? Am I doing what I'm supposed to but I'm trying to do it with someone who is incapable of doing the same? Is it my job to help them learn? Why are they like that? Why do they meet me with shame and silence anytime I say, "That hurt my feelings, I wish you wouldn't do that," is it because I'm wrong?

I don't know.

But what I do know is I feel like I've worked so hard and done so much reflection, but the near constant feeling of never being truly understood makes me think I've done it all wrong and after all this work, will I ever do it right? Or am I doing it right with the wrong person? I do think I have "wrong people" in my life, but I don't think he is. Which leads me to ask myself, "what more can I do?"

Can I convince myself that I'm understood, even if it doesn't feel like it? Why is it even important?

I sometimes miss my walls. I miss the ability to shut people out and not care if they understood or not. That I could just be mean to people when they hurt me and never felt any obligation to express it in a vulnerable way with the goal of learning how to be with someone. I wasn't necessarily happier. But I felt like I at least understood myself.

[valleyofthe-lily]

Journal Entry #1

My days are pretty normal now. I think I’ve figured out how to function like a regular human being. This was not something I accomplished on my own, of course. A hearty dose of Lamictal, Vraylar, Adderall, and Hydroxyzine have all aided me in my journey of mental stability. That and extensive therapy. It also helps that my new psychiatrist, whom I’ve been seeing for almost two years now, actually believes what I tell him. It’s gratifying, finally being understood by a professional who takes my afflictions seriously. 

I wake up very early now. I always wake up very early when I’m unstable, so, when this began, I was appropriately concerned. I’ve been relatively stable for about ten months now, and I have no interest in reverting to a depressed or hypomanic state. Instability can be interesting or even fun at times, but I’ve found that the pros of hypomania eventually dissipate into the worst depressions I’ve ever experienced. I’ve had so many episodes at this point, all of increasing severity, that I know I can’t afford to go through any others. It’s been long enough now waking up early that it no longer concerns me, though.

I don’t think most people understand just how life-altering a serious depression or manic episode can be. Everytime I have an episode, my life is thrown completely off kilter. I withdraw from school, I lose my scholarships, I can’t work, I spend all the money I have, I don’t have any cares whatsoever. I’m constantly left picking up the pieces and trying to salvage the course of life I was on before. For the first time, I’m convinced that I’ll be able to stick out the stability I’m experiencing for a long time. I think that I’ve finally found the right mix of medications that work for me, with minimal side effects, and my routine and quality of life have never been better.

I don’t think I’ll ever be a happy person, but I’m content with where I’m at, and that’s all I can ever ask for. Even though I’m only taking one class right now, at least I didn’t have to withdraw from all of them again. My medical petition from last year was approved, so I have almost $2000 dollars of scholarship money I had to repay into my student account for tuition next semester. I even have a daily routine now. People who struggle with chronic depression understand just how difficult routines can be to maintain when you can barely even function each day. I think we all understand how important routines are for maintaining stability, but I’ve never been able to successfully sustain one. Now, I sleep a normal seven to eight hours a night (instead of twelve, plus three hour naps everyday), wake up from 1:30 to 5:45 in the morning, do my homework, go to class, eat regular meals, and I make time for myself in the evenings. I’ve also regularly been seeing my friends, and I’ve made a few new ones this year, too. 

Waking up extremely early has been my favorite aspect of my new routine. If I wake up early enough, from one to three, I’ll wake and bake. If I do this, I’ll usually do the dishes, get my laundry out of the way, clean the apartment, make breakfast, and end with a movie. I can usually get all of this done before 8 AM. Despite my currently extremely productive lifestyle, I still struggle in certain areas of my life. I still probably abuse weed; I use it at least once a day. At this point, I’m trying to be intentional about my usage. I no longer do it when I’m bored and have nothing else to do. I found that having a routine with your weed consumption also helps with intentional usage. I’m also still severely addicted to nicotine. I have no excuses for intentional use there. I’ve made a goal to finally quit by the end of the next semester, and, although I’m apprehensive, I’m determined to cut it out of my life. I know it only makes my symptoms worse when I’m in a bad place, and I don’t want it interfering with my progress in any way. Quitting is easier said than done, obviously. Life is looking up for me, though, in all other regards. I’ve been thinking I might actually make it lately.

[klcthebookworm]

20 November 2023 Metrics

Previous Word Count: 66,024 New Words: 1167 Total words for the first draft: 67,191 NaNo 2023 Cumulative Word Count: 21,440 What I Accomplished in the Narrative Today: Started a scene with Alexander and the words just would not come. I babbled on the page how the words were not coming. After ninety minutes of fighting with it, I switched to Peg stumbling upon crime and dealing with it and that scene flowed. Fave line: “I wasn’t trying to kill you, but.” She looked into the van and saw a pile of lumpy garbage bags and smelled rotting meat. “Yeah, you totally had something to do with a murdered person here so good if I gave you brain damage!” What Else I Accomplished Today: Laundry completely done, kitchen dishes are at need to unload the clean ones out of the dishwasher but everything else is done, sorted through the office for 45 minutes and accomplished nothing with it. I really thought I’d get more fiction writing done, but the current state of everything else I have to do means I’m pretty wiped by the end the chore block. What I'm looking forward to: Having everything done and then I can relax. What the hell is relaxing? I have been taking my breaks during the sprints but when I’m sitting right next to what I didn’t accomplish, it’s hard to feel like I will ever finish so why did I reward myself with breaks? Breaks equal to three hours plus however long it takes me to eat. That is five hours for everything on the list. Yes, NaNo is getting three of those hours because I committed to it this year and I am making progress on the project that has been stalled for years and I’m loathe to give it up, especially when writing is my sanity keeper. And giving it up won’t get the chores I hate done any faster. So yes, tomorrow will still have breaks. What I’m going to do before going to bed is download the vague must do X, must do Y, must do Z, etc. onto paper where I can truly see what has to happen around making words tomorrow. What I'm not looking forward to: The reason why this office reset is on my list is that I have buried paperwork and phone calls I need to do in my stacks and now the stacks have reached “oh hell where did I put X?” But I only have Tuesday to find them and deal with them and I’m running out of Tuesday already? Mom needs a trip to town, I also need to pack (some of that is hiding in the stacks too). So yeah, steady wincing think about this now. Also, I think I need to box books I don’t have shelf space for into banker boxes and stack those in a messy corner of the office. That will look more contained and that should help on visual stress. It also comes AFTER dealing with the desktop pile that I’m nearly convinced has the paperwork I need to deal with in it.

[faithfromanewperspective]

designing home

what is home to me?? I don’t answer this with a place, but it’s who I feel like I belong with isn’t it?? It’s been a long time of not feeling that. I do admit it. I also admit I’m learning more and more, I am so so capable of creating that. maybe one day I’ll be a plant with roots in the ground. maybe one day I’ll have a place I’m able to rest. I know I can’t now. not yet. I know I’ve got nothing to rest in. nothing but what is supernatural and insubstantial and strung together like hope. hope that’s turning from an abstract concept I would rattle off like a sunday school answer to something I can kind of make out the outlines of. I hate that it’s taken me half a subject into a masters degree to realise this.

so maybe now that we’re somewhere in the in between—it’s ironic isn’t it? that I’ve dedicated so much of my life, most of the last decade as soon as I’ve been a conscious human who can think independent thoughts, into designing spaces and ways to decorate them that work for people but I can’t for myself. how can I meet my own needs when my needs are simply that, to quote a movie and a historical figure an old love introduced me to, I can ‘put a little bit of it [the mess in the world all around] back together’? so overwhelmed by the lack of autonomy and connection I can feel all around me. I just want to feel progress. send out to the universe me saying it’ll get better, I’m working at it, I’m making it better, and have that serotonin and confidence from realising, I really can make this better. seeing my own progress. because really what I’m looking for is I know I can’t fix all the problems in the world. I want a home I can feel satisfied with.

and we’re back to the question, as we’re in between the starting mess of a canvas in trying to recycle and the ideal, and always will be (my old pastor used to talk about the messy in-between kingdom after death is defeated by the death of a god but before death has stepped down rule so we still feel its hold. I’ve always felt like I’m living in that). what do I do?? I long to connect, it regulates me, I moved here because my connection needs were being unmet and I needed a physical space I could invite people in to. that’s probably my number one priority. to have my own space that invites connection. and it helps, to be seen, witnessed by someone I can relate to, remind me I’m not alone.

if home is about connection, it’s somewhere that facilitates me connecting to all sorts of things. to nature, to the built environment around me, somewhere that when I mask so long I forget who I am I can come back to it. to both the place and its people who I let in and remember who I am. they are like visual prompts. their presence a trigger for my nervous system but a good one, a calming one, a regulating one. maybe that’s why, be it my birds or whoever lives under whatever roof I’m in, when they’re distressed, it’s like I’ve lost that. I’ve lost my tether to this planet; everything is going wrong. if I had a role in that, I must be the worst person ever to cause such great destruction. how can I survive, if I can’t do this one thing? feed the system, steward it, the system I need to survive? that feeds and grounds me?

that’s why I wake with the sun. why laundry day and getting it all done is so important to me. vacuuming and the dishes. why I must make a castle for my birds that meets their needs. why I long to create homes for me and others out there who have similar needs where we can solace. that’s why I’ve found it so important for me to do the little things I can so that I can feel little by little, the chaos is receding, build my confidence that I might mess up yes but I’m learning to do things right, I can do that too. that this ambition burning in my soul to just build structures of love, it’s not useless. I need to triage my energy to find the best ways for me to do that. I want people to be able to come to me and relax. I know their needs (that part I have to thank my teenage self for honing in that intuition that I now can’t turn off) and I see them and I’ve seen it before and I can tell them, this problem you feel weighing on you is solvable, watch. until they too feel this confidence I’m trying to build in myself.

but what of me? are my problems solveable?

first, being able to let my guard down and let people in. no fear of messing up, forgetting, showing something that wasn’t meant to exist let alone be shown, because whatever exists exists because we mean it. whatever we don’t want to exist—well we work to make our ambitions line up with reality. I still clean my parents’ house, because then they might feel this for themselves. then maybe the years of shame, maybe I can relax as they do. or at least clean without the pressure of having someone over. having a deadline. I can relax, we all can, knowing there is nothing here to hide. nothing to do that we can’t, because we can do it all we can fit it all into our schedule and routine.

I don’t even say no to myself in order to do a more urgent task anymore. I’m most productive when I have my peace. that’s my main goal and takeaway of this year. what can you do to facilitate this?? let people in. share your secrets that you thought you’d implied for so long didn’t exist that none of your school friends asked. learn to share your story. create spaces, havens, with the people you trust who you let in. share who you really are. who I really am. I’m not sure that most people around me know it. how much the way I see the world shapes who I am, my identity, and it’s not just neurodivergence or my beliefs but a complex interaction between them and the way my education, my empathy, has changed me, molded me from shapeless nothing into someone with a voice and purpose. I don’t know who around me has met her, or knows that she exists. but she earns my wage and she makes community and she designs places. I know that.

it’s somewhere that the hurdles are manageable and fit within a system of this-is-my-life. a rhythm. I’m a musician. I don’t mean no hurdles, because I feel pretentious and I don’t feel comradeship that I perceive as connection if so. I mean that I don’t run the race without being fed that day. I mean I get love in and love is what comes out and motivates me as I do hard things. I mean it’s pumping blood through my veins. Giving me purpose. I mean that I am literally so disabled when I don’t have my need of being seen and seeing others and the magic it brings and the unlikely optimism it brings, connection based on equality, that’s all I want in the world, met. I can build cities with my bare hands when these things are flowing in. so they’re of utmost importance, that I pull all these things together and have them feed me and my home is what facilitates this or else I’ll starve. And I fully think after feeling discouraged for so long masking around everyone I know because I can’t speak their language, not anymore, that I can get there.

maybe it’s the kid from western sydney who has the best friends in the world from childhood talking but I am her and I do so well to remember that, I forgot for so long. It’s like I’ve been asleep, walking in a dreamlike daze being who they told me I was because it hurt to think of what I lost so I just forgot I ever had it before. But I never lost it.

and this is the wind under my wings as I say I can do it, I can walk with everyone I know out of the shutoff from connection burnout all my adult family members and the only friends I relate to are in. We all experience it different ways. And I wish life wasn’t such hard work but it’s the kind of work that is rewarding to do and if this is my life, I can manage it. As long as part of wherever I experience as home is able to give me the special mix of connection nutrients I need. because it’s not something anyone feeds you naturally.

so in the end, it doesn’t really matter what it looks like or how it functions as long as it does and the hurdles it brings aren’t the kind that distract me from the hurdles, the relational ones, that I’ll always have to face in my life. what matters, what supports me, is am I able to let love and connection in in a way that doesn’t hurt me by making me be something I’m not? and can I have a secure diet of that, one that’s healthier and healthier every day until the fear that it won’t happen is a distant memory that can no longer draw blood?

and I wonder if you, too, want that. After all, it’s why I do what I do isn’t it?? In perceiving you, seeing to the heart and validating that I put a little piece of the world back together. I think that’s the only way we exist without hurting each other—that even our most capital-intensive needs are simply a magic expression of symbiosis, in which we are part of an ecosystem that receives joy and purpose and these feelings I’ve discussed in return for giving you what you need to regulate the distress, ease the pain, bring the ecosystem which you are a part of into a little more harmony, a little deeper connection that soothes our aching souls in a way that until you experience it, you never know how much it pumps sunlight into your veins (like actual symbiosis of photosynthesis) in a way that makes any work you do to maintain this relationship so, so satisfying and as much a part of the joy as the result itself.

[returntosaturn271995]

Friday, June 9th: Fight for your right to indict

Indictment is stupid word. Yes, I am bad at spelling, but that’s only because English is full of words that force me to go “in-dick-tment” in my head. 

But I digress today because Trump was indicted on 37 (!!) felony counts for stealing documents from the White House, lying about it, and not giving them all back when asked. 

Dude, what the fuck? Will he go to prison? Because in the book I’m (still) reading about the 90′s, OJ had all of evidence against him but fame and media circus’s have turned real life legal cases in to a form of this country’s worst  entertainment.

My vote is that he rots in prison. Anyhoo here’s some other votes (aka choices I made) for the ways I tried to be a better person after ranting and raging in therapy with Angelita yesterday. 

1. Woke up before 11 am (I know. It’s still progress).

2. Got workout-glam for a 2 hr long walk with Ryan after grabbing another lavender latte from Palmy’s. I’m trying to perform less in conversations and enjoy comfortable silences more after my talk with Zach last night brought it up. Yeah...I’m not super great at it, but sober date! Cardio! 

3. Helped a small (but very motivated) dog back in to his home after he broke loose on to the boardwalk. I spilled my coffee and probably looked like a total idiot duck-walking him back, but no good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

4. Rocked a half-up, half down pony, low-cut black workout top, Adidas black leggings, and black and white Asics. Big black headphones, black leather backpack filled with my book and highlighters. 

5. Meditated on letting obsessive thoughts go. Officially hit 83 hours of practice. I sat up straight instead of lying down to let the elements take me. I did torture myself a little with overthinking anyway, but there were some present moments that felt buttery and yellow. Think: amber is the color of your energy. 

6. Made blueberry scones because I am a chef. Folded laundry first thing this morning. Dusted my bedside table because I’m trying to be one of those people that cleaning soothes. (Oh yeah, squeeze that bleach spray, honey! Let’s wipe away our sins and likely a fuck ton of my dead skin cells.)

7. Tried a new Yoga flow today. Intermediate, 22 minuets of thigh flexibility. And may I just say? No. That was terrible. I’m happy I did it but damn. My progress is feeling very non-progressy. BUT I can still touch my toes and do a flat-footed downward dog so there: ceiling and floor. Officially hit 15 hours of practice. 

8. Set up Orange Theory for Monday because I’m a masochist. Set up a leg and brazilian laser for later this month because I am a realist. 

9. Applied to a job on Linkedin, because why not it was right there. Waiting with total nerves to see if I get the Nowadays offer, made sure to send kind follow up email.

10. My goals for tonight? Purchase a new alarm clock that doesn’t suck. No alcohol/going out. Finish/or make progress in 90′s book (this thing is well written but my god is it thickems). Skincare moment. Make steaks with caper butter and roasted potatoes and then wash the dishes. 

I think I’ve done enough work today to both continue the virtuous cycle or feel that I was productive enough to save some goals for tomorrow. We’ll see. It can’t be denied that after every habit I feel better. Daily chores don’t suck the life force out of me like they used to (or maybe the idea of them used to), but instead I affirm my worth and right to be taken care of. Every action is a vote. It’s proving ones love to one-self with quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and yes, a couple of gifts. 

Hair grease and inner peace, 

Erin

[ourlittledinosaur]

Getting Stuff Done With (Not Despite) Your Child

New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.com/getting-stuff-done-with-not-despite-your-child/

Getting Stuff Done With (Not Despite) Your Child

I Didn’t Enter Into Motherhood Gracefully

It finally happened. 15 months. I had time. Not long. Just a few minutes where I could do whatever I wanted.

And you know what happened? I hadn’t a clue what to do with myself!

If I’ve learned anything since my son was brought into this world, it’s that I have to give myself a lot of grace. I’m not very good at that. I want to be SuperMom and somehow anything short of that makes me feel guilty.

I want to keep a perfectly neat and tidy home. (The true disillusion is thinking I really did this even BEFORE beginning my parenthood journey!)

I want to have energy to do the 272 projects on my list, including sewing, and crafting, and learning new skills.

I want to invest in all my family and friendships and have a freezer meal prepped for every occasion and be able to give my time. The saying, “It’s the thought that counts” has never meant more to me than it does in this phase of life.

The truth is, my house is a mess. The dogs don’t get the same attention they did before my son was born, granted now that he’s old enough, they get love from my son too. I am not the greatest or most present friend these days. I’m not as helpful at get-togethers as I used to be. I feel tired and unmotivated often, especially in the evenings after my baby boy is asleep.

It IS Getting Easier

All this to say, I can look back to this time last year or even six months ago and realize that it is getting easier. Putting it all in perspective, this is just a phase, and chances are I will be able to accomplish more this time next year than I can right now…just as I can do more now than I could with a three month old.

However, the fact remains, I can never go back, so trying to accomplish things in the same way I used to probably isn’t a realistic approach. How I get things accomplished is definitely morphing and, from what I can tell by observing my friends with multiple children, a skill to be learned and perfected over time.

My Little Helper

I’m trying to have the attitude of doing things with my son, rather than despite him being around.

Here is one example. Instead of waiting for him to go to sleep to switch out a load of laundry, I simply include him in the task. Sure it takes longer, but it’s actually made the task much more enjoyable, and the bonus is I get to teach my son life skills, which is as important to his development as learning his colors and shapes.

It’s actually really cute. I open the dryer and washer doors and hand him the clean, damp laundry a few at a time and he puts them in the dryer for me. Then he closes the doors to both and to the laundry room (sometimes not before pushing all the dinging buttons) as well.

Still Figuring it Out

Other tasks are more difficult, like doing dishes. I haven’t figured that one out yet, although now when I am prepping the food for dinner, I put him on a step-stool so he can watch. He also has taken on the role of taste-tester while doing this. I got this idea from a friend (who is such a graceful mother) and it has changed how soon I can get dinner on.

So, that’s where we’re at 15 months. As always, our ever-changing family is a beautiful work in progress.

What about you?

How has parenthood changed how you do things?

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[howaboutcastiel-personal]

I’ve only been home since Wednesday and now I remember why I’m so fucking miserable at my parents house. Nothing that I do will ever be good enough for them and I’ll never be able to do more as long as they’re making me feel this way. All I want to do is sleep. All the time. I could sleep for 16 or 17 hours a day and be content, not that I would feel well rested.

Mom is getting worse. She’s not eating and she’s spacing out all the time and she’s sleeping all the time. Yet somehow she still has no sympathy for me. I had been feeling sorry for her but now I don’t really feel that anymore. She won’t go to the doctor. I know that she has a lot on her plate with my dad being the useless sack of shit that he is and my grandparents needing care and being ungrateful for the care. She still doesn’t need to take that out on me though.

On the other hand I feel like I’m useless just as much as they think that I am. This always fucking happens. When I’m at school I have a purpose and a schedule and a job and I’m good at taking care of myself. I can’t do any of that at home. I can’t eat right or sleep right and I can’t seem to get anything done. I’m too tired and I’m paralyzed by stress and dread and fear of failure. The things that I’m proud of myself for accomplishing are just things I’m expected to do. Dishes, laundry, cooking dinner. Those are basic things. Doing them means nothing, not doing them means resentment. Even driving. Fuck. I even gave my dad the fucking driving plan that Dr. Randall made for me but fucking useless it’s useless and every time I think about getting in a car I just want to blow my fucking brains out.

I just feel like I’m never going to get better. It really seems like there’s no progress to be made. I can’t do it here. All I’m doing is wasting away here. I don’t want to fucking be here.

I can’t even control what I eat. I feel guilty asking for groceries. I can’t ask for dinner to be things that I like because the men are little bitch babies that only eat deep fried shit and god forbid I just want to eat something healthy or something that doesn’t make my chronic illness that much fucking worse.

I want to fuckinf waste away or die or whatever and I don’t want to go on the Wellbutrin but I have to or else I’ll just be even more of a disappointment.

And I have to just be okay with everything. I have to relearn how to make the sexism and racism and homophobia and transphobia and fatphobia and ableism and everything just roll off of me. All of them think that I’m too fat, the ones that know think that I’m too gay. They think I’m not ladylike enough and I’m too opinionated and a stupid fucking liberal and I have to mask and they still think I’m pathetic and fucking stupid and sensitive. I will never be enough I swear to god and there’s no way my clean streak is lasting the break. I don’t think it’s going to last a week unless the fucking Wellbutrin works miracles but if my mom is any indicator it will just turn me into a fucking psychopath or make me so anxious that I pull my hair out.

How the fuck am I supposed to do this how do other people do this what is the point of doing all this. I don’t have any friends here I don’t have any close friends anywhere and all I want to do is curl into a ball and bury myself somewhere dark and quiet where no one will ever touch me or talk to me or see me again and I don’t want to exist anymore. And I can’t do my hobbies. I can’t read or write or watch TV or do puzzles and I can’t play music because my parents are fucking hoarders. I can’t do anything and I just want someone who doesn’t fuckinf hate me and who isn’t a horrible person and that is apparently way too much to ask for

[zeump]

My office is my favorite space for many reasons but a new reason I discovered today is my chair is perfectly positioned to watch the snow slowly slide off my neighbor’s metal roof which is oddly satisfying.

I am struggling with beginning of winter blues a little bit. I enjoy the slow days but I feel like I am finding it hard to move or do anything at all. I know its the mess. I am slowly chipping away at it and trying to feel satisfied with every bit of progress I make rather than overwhelmed at how much is yet to be done.

I did manage to do some dishes, and about to do some more, and I cleaned up the clothes that were sitting on my bedroom table. No laundry today probably, I want to get as much done as I can in the kitchen since that’s what has me feeling the heaviest.

[onerebuplic]

The Cycle

1) Wake up between 10 and 12am. lay in bed for hours with or without my phone regardless.

2) finally get up when I REALLY need to pee and take my meds and eat breakfast and shower and move my laundry and dishes. Speed varies based on who is in the kitchen/bathroom already.

3) meds kick in fully and I feel capable of my responsibilities. I start to remember everything and start having ideas for connections or creations.

4) I get a few small things done, sometimes a Big Thing or two. I respond to messages and emails. I schedule stuff.

5) my meds run out and I crash. Hard. Time starts melting from my hands. I suddenly become forgetful and shortsighted again.

6) I get anxious because I’m out of focus energy but am still aware of the Big Things I didn’t finish. I don’t have the resolve anymore to keep working. I feel burned out, especially if I ran errands.

7) I get depressed because the day feels like a waste. Even though I get stuff done, I don’t think I’m making enough progress to meet deadlines, especially the deadline of rent due on December 1st. I feel overwhelmed because even if I meet this deadline, there are 12 more waiting for me. I don’t know how I will ever become a sustainably functioning adult, and the idea that I can’t mature and grow scares me.

8) I start distracting myself from the depression of a wasted day and the terror of the impending deadline. I start eating impulsively, or jacking off, or watching movies, or hanging out with friends and ignoring my responsibilities.

9) I start to feel better and a bit more relaxed after doing fun things or remembering nice things. I start to have hope that the next day will make up for today. The Big Things seem less daunting even though my meds ran out for the day.

10) I go to sleep. Depending on how much I did that day, I immediately fall asleep or I spend hours on my computer and phone.

11) my sleep cycle gets delayed just a bit more. I currently go to sleep between 12-2am. Time in the evening slips through my hands especially quickly, once the sun has set. I love sleeping but I hate that I will wake up feeling like shit physically, emotionally, and mentally again.

[jennifermeyering]

How I Setup My Workweek for Success - I've been a work-from-home mom for almost 12 years now. Wow, that's actually kind of crazy to say! Over those 12 years, my weekly routine has ebbed and flowed with the changes in our home and family life and dynamic - adding kids, husband changing jobs, moving across the country and to different states, etc. However, one thing that I have always tried to maintain is a Sunday (or weekend) routine to help set myself up for success in my workweek the next week. Doesn’t the saying go "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail" or something along those lines? Sunday and the weekend in general are always lazy times for me and the family. I love getting to spend quality time with the kiddos without schedules, meetings, agendas, or appointments. Time to just relax on the couch and have ice cream sundae's for lunch and things of that nature. All that being said, I still take a little time during the week, usually Sunday afternoon/evening time to get myself setup for my work week ahead and the kids school week. Taking just a few minutes during the weekend really helps me setup my workweek for success so I'm not scrambling during the week. Tidy Up I know that cleaning on the weekend is not my favorite chore but I do take a few minutes to just tidy up the house. I go around and pick up toys, clothes, and put away anything that is out of place. I am good about keeping the dishes in check during the week along with doing one load of laundry each day. Plus, we also have a robot vacuum that keeps the floors clean daily for me. So Sunday is just a reset on all the clutter that accumulates throughout the week - taking the time to either put it away or throw it away. Map Out the Week I started using ClickUp recently for my businesses and my blog and it has been the best investment. I have all my weekly tasks already setup to auto populate on their specific dates. I also have forms for my business that auto add clients to the correct list for me to follow up for contact. I've implemented many systems into my workflow and routine that it is automatic and naturally flows based on a set of events or things that need to be done. All that said, I will usually run through my ClickUp list quickly just to make sure I haven't missed anything for the week and then add anything that I need to. I'll also run over my calendar for meetings and shoots planned. That way it's not sitting in my brain overnight and causing me stress thinking about it and trying not to forget it. Finish the Laundry Like I said above, I've found it easier to keep up with it during the week, however, if it's been a particularly busy week and haven't had the time to do it then Sunday is when I finish it. That way I have clothes to wear throughout the week as well as the hubby has scrubs for work and the kids for school. Usually, even if it is a busy week I can still manage to get 1 or 2 loads done before the weekend leaving me with just another 1 or 2 more. So not a huge deal. Set Goals While mapping out y week, checking over my ClickUp and calendar, I also take time to check on my goal progress for the year, month, etc. and also set new ones. Yes, I have lists of things to be done but if I don't push myself more than my business will never grow. I set goals on how many extra recipes I want to test and/or shoot that week. Writing goals. Goals to get so many more bookings on our lakehouse. Goals to workout. Goals to make sure I get the laundry done! Ha! Unplug Social media is such a big part of my businesses now that I have to consciously take time away from social media because I'm on it so frequently now. I'll usually leave my phone in the nightstand for the day so I'm not tempted. I'll grab a book or magazine to read instead and keep my hands busy. I'll also set food shoots for Sunday so I'm busy working on those instead of checking my phone. I do still watch TV though and don't completely "unplug" because I do like to sit in bed at the end of the night with the hubby binge watching our favorite shows together. https://jennifermeyering.com/how-i-setup-my-workweek-for-success/