#i am not sure what time i woke up. it was 5 something. 5:40s or 5:50s. it is 6:20 as i write this

[lovphobic]

very tmi in the tags (category 5 tummy event) bc i need to air the woes but im the only one awake.

[jellyclogs]

how op men react to you calling them darling prt.2

characters: Zoro, Sabo, Sanji, Marco, Buggy

y/n has she/her pronouns

Zoro:

“Excuse me?” Zoro laughed.

Your face was suddenly on fire. You hadn't meant to call him darling. You had meant to just ask, “Have you eaten.” you repeated. He looked way too much like the leading man in the romance novel you were reading. It wasn't your fault you called him darling it was the dam books.

“You're missing a part,” Zoro smirked, he was enjoying how flustered you were, it was pretty dang cute.

“Did you eat or not?” you huffed crossing your arms.

“Yeah I did,” he shot you a teasing look, “Darling.”

You thought your face was on fire before… well now it really had to be. You turned and rushed away from him. You might burst into flames from the intensity of your embarrassment. You were going to burn that novel.

“Something wrong darling?” he called after you in a laugh.

Sabo

“Hay Darling could you pass me those papers,” you called to the blond as he was passing your desk painting to a stack of paper across the room from you. You were so engrossed in your work that you hadn't even realized what you'd said.

Sabo froze, a smile coming to dance across his lips, “No problem sweetheart,” he said without skipping a beat. He grabbed the stack of paper before setting them on your desk.

You glanced up at him a puzzled look on your face, “Sweetheart?” you hummed, “What with the pet name Sabo?” you quirked a brow

Sabo’s smile grew, “You're the one who started it.” he wished he could snap a picture of the look you had on your face, it was priceless.

You tilted your head to the side. It took an almost embarrassingly long time for you to relize what you had said to him.  You bit your lip before smiling, “I guess your right darling. I did start this,” you purred.

Sabo's face flushed, “Don't use that voice on me, sweetheart,” he leaned down resting his hands on your desk, “and don't start a game you can't win.” his voice had dropped an octave, it was now low and sultry.

“I'm not sure what game you're referring to darling,” you leaned forward laying on the seductive tone even harder, “But if I did I'm sure I'd win.”

Sobo leaned even closer, his eyes were very intense, “Come on sweetheart, you know you'd lose.”

Before the game you two were playing cold get out of hand Kola stepped in. She slapped the back of both of your heads hissing, “Oh cut it out both of you.” she shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

Sanji:

You smiled to yourself as you baked. You were in the process of making marbled brownies. You made a dark chocolate batter followed by a pumpkin batter before swirling them together. You popped your creation into the oven before beginning to clean up your mess. It was currently 1:30 a.m., so you knew you had plenty of time to leave it spotless. Sanji would not wake up till 5 am

 You knew that using the kitchen without Sanji's approval could be a dangerous game but you just had to. You would ask Sanji to forgive you later. There was no way you could ask him to use the kitchen not when you were trying to surprise him. You were making him a birthday treat.

You spent the 40 minutes it took for the brownies to bake to clean the kitchen till the floor sparkled. You pulled the pan of brownies out of the oven, they were perfectly baked nice crunchy corners and an ooey gooey center. You were no professional but you could bake like one.

You set the brownies on the counter along with a box of expensive black tea you bought him from a few islands ago. You spent the next ten minutes debating whether or not you'd leave a note. Finally, you gave in to yourself and left a note.  “Happy birthday darling,” you wrote out in your nicest handwriting before singing it in the bottom right corner.

Glancing at the clock you read the time was 2:25 am. You skittered out of the kitchen and headed to bead. You sent a silent prayer to whatever god was listening Luffy wouldn't get hungry for a snack before Sanji woke up.

######

Sanji got out of bed at Five a.m. sharp. It may have been his birthday but he would not skip out on his job. He was the ship's cook and he'd be damned if he didn't cook them a proper breakfast. His birthday would be mad special when he saw the look of delight on Nami’s, Robins's, and (y/n)’s faces when they ate the breakfast he made.

He pulled on clean clothes before heading to the kitchen. He needed a cup of nice strong black tea to wake him up. He almost slipped into his normal routine till his eyes landed on a pan on the counter. He rushed over to it wondering which member of the crew had left him a dirty dish to deal with.

He stopped in front of the pan when he saw it was full, someone had made brownies he felt confused. He then noticed the box of tea next to it. The tea looked expensive. He picked it up and read over the container. He realized it was a tea that he'd put back after he realized he didn't have the budget for it a few islands ago. His eyes finally landed on the little slip of paper resting on the top of the brownies. 

“Happy Birthday Darling” he read glancing down to the signature. He felt his heart raced as he read (y/n)’s name. When had she had the time to make this? He looked around the kitchen trying to find evidence of her baking but it was spotless. 

He hugged the note to his chest, feeling tears in his eyes. He hadn't expected much for his birthday. This was so much more than what he expected. He decided to not start his prep for breakfast yet. He brewed himself a cup of his new tea, cut himself a brownie, lit a cigarette, and sat down. He could take a bit of time to appreciate the gift.

######

You were pulled out of bed by Nami at  7 a.m. You were honestly in no mood to be awake, that was until you remembered that it was Sanji’s birthday. You got up stretching and yawning.

You and Nami walked to the kitchen together. You couldn't wait to see how Sanji had reacted to your little surprise. Before you entered the kitchen you whispered into Nami’s ear, “Don't forget to tell Sanji happy birthday.”

 She rolled her eyes at you… hard.

Then the two of you walked in. “Good morning Sanji.” You smiled at him.

Sanj slowly and deliberately walked across the kitchen to stand in front of you. He stared into your eyes for a long moment before hugging you. “Thank you, princess,” he whispered kissing your forehead and walking away, A trickle of blood running from his nose.

Marco:

You were sick, you had a fever, your nose was running and you had the chills. You stumbled from the room you shared with Marco to the infirmary. You knew he had to be there since he wasn't in the room with you. You always got needy when you were sick.

You made it there to see Marco working on paperwork. He was slumped over at his desk working like there was no tomorrow. You knew his work was important but at the moment you couldn't care less about it. You just wanted your lover to come cuddle with you and make you feel a little better.

“Darling,” you whimpered as you made it to his desk, “Will you come cuddle with me?” you sounded absolutely pathetic. If your voice alone had not convinced him to come to bed with you then the way you looked forced his hand. You had a pout on your face the comforter of your shared bed wrapped around you. 

Marco looked up from the paperwork he was working on, “You really shouldn't be out of bed.” he said a smile on his lips as he shook his head.

“I don't wanna be alone. Darling, please come to bed with me.” The pout on your face mixed with the flush of fever made you look more than cute.

Marco laughed, you only ever called him darling when you wanted him to do something for you. He wanted to pretend like it wasn’t an effective strategy but couldn't. Whenever you called him darling he was putty in your hands, “OK my little bird I'll come back to bed with you.” he sighed.

Your pout turned into a smile as you heard his words, “Thank you.” Even with your slightly scratchy voice, Marco found your voice soothing.

Marco stood up from his desk and walked over to you. He easily swept you off of your feet, carrying you bridal style, “Let's get you back to bed before you share this cold with someone.” he had no worries about getting sick himself, ever since he ate the phoenix phoenix fruit he was immune to most colds and illnesses.

“If you leave me there I'm gonna follow you.” You leaned into his chest closing your eyes already feeling sleepy.

Marco just shook his head. He knew for a fact you weren't joking. He sighed, for the sake of the crew he’d better stay with you. He tried to be upset about having to stay in bed with you but he couldn't manage it.

Buggy

You laid in bed next to Buggy. Your lover had his back to you as he slept You had had a nightmare and couldn't get yourself to fall asleep. You didn't want to wake him up, but you really wanted him to hold you. You didn't need to talk about the nightmare you just needed to be in his arms. You hesitantly reached a handout and shook his shoulder, “Please wake up darling.” you whispered.

Buggy was usually a heavy sleeper but the fear in your voice made him instantly roll over. With sleep still fogging his senses he asked, “What’s the matter, honey?” he looked at you with tired but concerned eyes.

“I'm sorry to wake you but would you please just hold me?” you asked in a soft and apologetic voice.

Buggy studied your face for a long moment before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. It didn't take a genius to tell you were upset. The look you had on your face was heartbreaking, “Don't be,” he mumbled, “Do you want to tell me what's wrong now or in the morning.” his voice sounded grumpy but you could tell he truly did want to make you feel better.

“In the morning darling,” you close your eyes already feeling like you could sleep again, “please just go back to sleep.” You kissed his cheek.

He grunted in response holding you tighter. He would sleep now, but in the morning he'd find out what had upset you. You were his flashy little partner and he would not neglect you. It did not take him long to fall back to sleep.

The sound of his heart and the feeling of his chest rising and falling quickly calmed you down. You found it much easier to sleep. You found yourself falling back to sleep rather quickly.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I woke up on the weird side of the bed today so, yeah. I don't usually write like this. But change is the spice of life, right? I read this as many times as I could to make sure I got everything. If I missed anything that should say "he", "him" or "Mikey", please let me know! I initially didn't know who I was going to make this about and I may not have caught all of those things. Thanks!!

C/W ::: Mikey (Tok_Rev) x F.reader/roommate, language, pillow licking & sniffing, dirty day-old boxer fucking, masturbation, lip biting (vvv brief mention of blood), oral F->M & M->F, quick deepthroating, anal, fingers->ass, names: slut, whore, little fuck, pet names: good girl, F->begging, "gonna punish you again if you ...", overuse of italics

WC ::: 2,100 (ish)

You walk out of your room, sleep still heavy in your eyes. Mikey is in the kitchen, pouring himself a 2nd cup of coffee. "Hey," you say releasing a big yawn, "pour me one? Please?"

He looks up and smiles at you, taking in your cute, soft body stretching the material of your worn old band shirt. The writing on the front is so illegible that you can't even see who the hell the band was to begin with. It hugs you perfectly, they think.

"Sure." He reaches out to the shelf in front of him and pulls down a cup to fill for you. You're already pulling the creamer from the fridge, probably giving them a fair view of your ass in your cute little panties. If they were looking, that is.

But there's no shame between roommates, no. You're both mature adults who can maintain a platonic relationship with one another.

"Thanks," is all you say as you stir the milky white flavoring into the dark liquid. You take a sip and wince at how hot it is against your tongue. "Fuck, is that a new coffee maker? It's hot as shit. Could have warned me, man."

You start heading back to your room, but then stop. "What uh, what time will you be home today?" It's a seemingly innocuous question. Though it strikes Mikey as odd. You never really ask when he'll be home.

"Why? You gonna have a big party while I'm out?" He jokes.

Blinking at them with a blank stare you fake a laugh. "Ha, yeah. You know me. I'm a party animal. Anyway, when?"

Mikey narrows his eyes, "I dunno. Around 5? Same as always. I gotta run. I'll see you." Hes pick up his backpack and coffee and heads out the door. You hear his bike start and pull out onto the street until it gets so quiet you can no longer could make out its rumble.

Glancing at the clock on the wall above the kitchen table, it's 7:40 AM. You have all day before he comes home. Finishing your coffee, you walk down the hallway and stand in front of his door.

There is a voice screaming in your head about how you need to stop doing this. How it's a complete violation of Mikey's privacy - and not to mention, just pretty fucking disgusting. But you can't.

You can't stop climbing into his bed after he leaves for the day. You can't stop burying your face in his pillow while you rub yourself on his most recently worn pair of boxers. Mikey's scent has far exceeded intoxicating to you by this point. And though you can't even remember how long you've been doing this, you do know that it's been happening for too fucking long.

Lately, you've even caught yourself slipping up. Talking about something you saw in his room that you don't think you were even supposed to be aware of.

There's not a doubt in your mind, you need to stop. But first, you need to be more careful.

However, today is not that day. You turn the knob on his door and help yourself to the bed as if it were your very own. His room still smells of that heavy sleep smell. Morning breath and man sweat and BO. And it doesn't turn you off like it probably should. Nah, it turns you on in the sickest way.

You pull the blanket back and see the outline of his body imprinted on the sheets. It's still warm from when he was there not so long ago. You take your clothes off and lay there, imagining him. Imagining that he is still here, in bed with you. That he is holding you and that he wants to fuck you just as badly as you want to fuck him and not his stuff.

You grab his pillow and shove your nose into it, taking in his scent as close to the source as you could get without swallowing him whole. There's a little splop of drool on his dark gray pillowcase and you lick at it. Anything at this point to have a piece of him inside of you.

You begin to rub your clit. It's already wet and thrumming at the thought of him. Of his smell in your nose, his spit on your tongue. You keen as you get yourself closer and closer to cumming. You can feel it building in your belly, you're getting so close.

Your breaths are coming quicker, your tits are jiggling as you bounce yourself around on your fingers - that will never measure up to what his cock would feel like being fucked into your cunt. You bite your lip and you taste blood, but you don't care.

You cum hard, harder than you have in months. You're moaning his name over and over and over, wishing he was here to fuck you like you want him to. Like you NEED him to.

And you hear the front door as it opens. You hear Mikey's voice call out to you and it all comes crashing down.

"Hey, I forgot something, just ran back to gr-" he says, until he walks into his bedroom. "Y/n, what ... the ... fuck ... are you ... doing?"

You scramble to cover yourself as you try to make up some excuse for why you were in here. But it's too late. You know it is.

"You sick, sick, little fuck."

"I - I - I - I ..." you stutter out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"The actual fuck do you think you're doing in here? In my bed." Mikey looks at what's between your legs, "and my boxers?"

You get up, pulling on your clothes as quickly as you can. Your hands are shaking and your heart is racing. You don't know what to say or do, so you just leave.

You walk passed him, to go, you feel a hand come down on your ass. "You fucked up, big time. And now? You're gonna fuckin' fix it." He gestures for you to go back to their bed. "Go on. Slut."

You do as you're told, hoping he won't kill you after what you'd just been caught doing. And as you watch Mikey take his clothes off, you realize that this might not be going the way you expected it to. But it might be easier if he did just kill you.

"Knees." He orders.

"What?"

He raises an eyebrow at you, "Fucking. Knees."

You obey and drop to your knees, your face level with his dick. "Suck."

Without saying a word, he opens your mouth and shoves himself in. Mikey grabs the back of your head and pulls you forward, making you gag. And he doesn't care. You deserve it for being such a little slut.

He fucks your mouth, thrusting his hips into your face, slapping his balls against your chin, until he pushes you off. "Up."

You do as you're told. "Face the bed. Bend over."

Again, you do as you're told. You feel him spread your ass and rub his cock against you. You can feel it pulsing between your cheeks. "Please. Please ..." You say softly.

"You don't deserve mercy, you little whore. Unless you're begging for something else? What'd you have in mind, hm? You gonna make this up to me? You fucking pervert."

You can't see it, but Mikey is smiling at your exposed cunt. It's dripping wet and begging to be filled. He spit on his hand and rubbed it on his dick before spitting on his fingers and rubbing it around your asshole.

He pushes two fingers into you, slowly, while rubbing your clit with his other hand. Mikey pumps his fingers in and out of you, stretching you open. You moan and whimper at the feeling of fingers inside of you, at the sensation of being touched like this.

"Fuck me, please. Fuck me. I want to feel you inside of me. I've wanted it for so long." You whimper. You sound so pitiful but can't help yourself.

Mikey laughs at how pathetic you sound. He pulls his fingers out and spreads your ass again. "Beg for it. Beg ... for my cock, slut."

You feel him press the head of his dick against your hole. It's throbbing and you're about ready to explode. "Please! Please fuck me!"

Mikey eases his cock into you slowly. You gasp at the feeling of it stretching you open. It hurts ... but it's so fucking good. He thrusts into you hard and fast, filling you up and fucking you like the little whore you both know you are.

Mikey grunts and moans as he pounds your ass. You can feel him getting close as he pulls out of you and cums all over your back. It drips down between your cheeks and onto the floor. "If you were a good girl, I'd have cum inside of you. But here we are," he whispered against your skin.

He smacks your ass and you feel his hands gripping your hips tightly. "Turn around. Lay down."

You do as you're told and lay down on your back. He climbs on top of you and straddles your hips. "Open." Mikey says, grabbing your jaw.

He spits on your tongue, "Swallow."

You swallow his spit. "Good girl. Now, let's see, ultimately, just how good you can be."

He grabs your tits and squeezes them, pinching your nipples and pulling on them, assaulting your chest, leaving marks and bruises. You moan and arch your back, loving the feeling of his weight on you. The attention he's finally giving you.

Mikey kisses and licks and bites his way down to your pussy and buries his face between your legs. His tongue wandered around on your clit and he put a finger in your pussy, making you squirm.

He pulled back and smiled, "You like that? Don't you, you little slut?"

You nod your head and whimper, "Yes."

Chuckling, he spits on your clit and rubs it with the pad of his thumb. He starts lapping at your cunt so feverishly that it sounds like a dog drinking water from a bowl. Licking and sucking and biting at your clit so dedicatedly that you feel yourself getting closer to another orgasm.

"Please, please, please let me cum. Let me cum," you beg him.

Mikey looks up at you, his face soaked from your juices, "You want to cum? You want me ... to make you cum?"

You nod your head furiously, "Yes, yes, yes."

"Did you not? Earlier, I mean. Because your pussy was pretty fucking wet when I walked in."

You whimper and shake your head, "No, not like this. Not with you."

He smiles, "You're such a little fuck, you know that?"

You furrow your brow as he starts to rub your clit again. He sucks on your tits, making you writhe beneath him. He's biting and nipping at your sensitive skin. It's the most exquisite pain you've ever felt.

"Do you want to cum now, baby girl?" He asks, as he rubs your clit, harder and faster. Faster and harder.

You moan and nod your head, "Y-yeh-hess, please! Please, please."

He smirks at you and stops touching you all at once. "You gonna stop breakin' into my room and fuckin' my dirty clothes?"

The question caught you off guard. Fucking his day-old boxers was the furthest thing from your mind right now. "Wh-wha -"

He starts in rubbing your clit again, even faster and harder than before, "I asked you a fucking question."

"Yes! Yes, I'll stop! I'll ... I promise to stop, Mikey."

He smiles at you and keeps rubbing your clit until you feel that warm, bubbling feeling in your stomach again. "Cum for me, baby girl."

You twist and turn beneath him as you cum. Your pussy clenches around nothing as he keeps rubbing you until you feel like you can't take it anymore.

As you come down, he looks at you and gives you a sly smile. "Good. You wanna be a good girl for me, huh?"

You nod your head. "Yes. Yes. Yes ... I'll be so good for you."

Mikey chuckles, "You better be. Or else."

He gives you a long kiss on the forehead and stands up. "I'm going back to work. Don't do anything stupid. I'll be home in a few hours."

You lay there, naked and spent, unable to even think about doing anything but sleep. "Yes, sir." You say softly.

Mikey walks out of his room and goes back to work, leaving you in a state of blissful exhaustion.

"Wait," you call out, "what if I can't be good for you? What if I just ... can't stop?"

He turns and looks at you, a calm look on his sweet face. "Well, I guess you'll just have to learn your lesson all over again, won't you?"

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @viburnt

[amugoffandoms]

How we feeling about that timeline convo !!!!!!! Ahhhh !!!!!

(fair warning, I am ill. So very ill. Apologies to you and main tag D: )

HI BEANS ^> hiBI YOU CAUGHT MD AF A GREAF TIME <- just woke up from being out cold for about an hour

IT'S SOOOO INTERESTING TO ME SO ILL COPY MY THOUGHTS ON IT FROM SOMEQHERE:

(For context, since the timeline came out at 4am, I was kinda awake in bed for a while without my phone near me. [Literally had my heart pounding from the yuno's birthday lol, I may be a little ill] I was awake for. A long time trying to sleep.)

Inwas thinking about this when I couldn't fucking sleep for hours but it's interesting how Yuno says she's just playing nurse, as if it's just another role to play along for a little while longer

especially how she tells Shidou to shut up lol

"Don't you fucking dare make this into an actual thing you believe I am, I'm just doing what's needed"

Me when the doctor Shidou Kirisaki projects onto others his ideal vision of them!!!! rah!! Me when Yuno hates it when people try to project an ideal version of her onto herself to make themselves feel better!! (though making himself feel better isn't particularly what happened, he was simply telling her what to do with her life and she didn't particularly enjoy it!!)

So those were my original 5 am thoughts. Once I finally sat down and read the translated timeline at about properly at about? 7 am after sleeping, I was like well awoe.

I read Doctor Bunny's tl of it, so this one is kinda about it:

Yuno: Really?

....haha, shut up.

I don't want to think about the future.

And after all, one where I'm involved in something like whether a person lives or dies... Don't make me laugh.

I've been handling Tear Drop lyrics a lot recently while drafting posts for today and these lines genuinely read as Tear Drop lyrics:

Just shut it, will you? You know it all

And

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in

Happy or sad? Why decide?

Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice

this thought really only came up after some talking with other people, but that last line ah!! She doesn't want to be in charge of dealing with other people's lives in a way a nurse would, acting like a judge because she hates doing exactly that.

and finally

the "I don't want to think about the future" line hurt, okay . Sobbing holds the wall. this reads just like that, "I think I'd like to live up to around 40" question. I don't know. It's just so auejrhr to think about how 1) she's not even sure what she wants to do with her life because she wants to find something she can get absorbed in; 2) what if she really is dead? There's no future for her to look forward to; and (possibly, considering Yuno seems to be heavily depressed) 3) She doesn't think there is a reason to because what's the point?

ALSO so sorry for barely any shidou thoughts I am Yuno Kashiki brain rot forever

(though I think it's still funny that Shidou Kirisaki of all people said Yuno would be a good nurse)

[elsa-rain-world-stuff]

What got you into rainworld?

OHHOHHHOHOHOHOHO

It's been 2020, middle of autumn, i tired from playing same 3 games on repeat (hollow knight, sundered and undertale (? i'm not sure)) and looked in my steam library, in search for something i haven't played. I had i think 3 games i bought and never played, and Rain World was one of them. I had no fucking clue what is this game, i didn't even remember how i got it (i got it same year spring with 80% off, as my purchase history says). So i downloaded it and jumped right into, without watching any trailers or rewievs.

It was... something. I didn't expect anything, but i was surprised anyway. I had no idea you could pick different character, i didn't know you supposed to play as white slugcat, so i started as Monk.

First thing that surprised me is how HEAVY slugcat felt. Compare to Hollow Kinght where you can jump 10 times your height... yeahh. And second thing - controls, which i changed immediately, because i ain't playing on arrows! ALSO at the beginning i had a thought for a moment that maybe i'll get some upgrades, but even then i felt like it's not gonna happen

And after that i lost track of time. And when i woke up, it was 5 am and i was in shoreline. Then i was stuck in the first room of subterranean with centipedes killing me all the fucking time and i thought that i can't go back through the gates lol

I also remember miros birds breaking my overseer in meme crypts and how i thought that it was gone forever

This is my very first rain world screenshot (i didn't understand what to do with this flower and overseer seemed to point on it (at least it what i thought)

under cut there's a tonn of screenshots and some of messeges with my friend while i was playing. I had a friend, who helped me in the beginning. They played just a bit, but knew a lot about the game

october 10, 2020

Elsa Fogen 22:57 : Oh you can store food for the next day to spend all the time for exploration, neat Elsa Fogen 23:02 : So i was grabbed by that thing, that pretended to be a pole, but i managed to escape and it grabbed a lizard instead october 11, 2020 Elsa Fogen 6:57 : Fuuck, it's 5 am and i've been playing Rain all this time [Friend name here] 6:29 : How did you... Elsa Fogen 6:29 : I'm in the location with green wamter Elsa Fogen 6:31 : I was fucking flooded 3 times Elsa Fogen 16:13 : I'm fucking tired of these monkies They don't let me go through Fuckers

october 12, 2020

Elsa Fogen 18:11 : AAAAAAAAAAAHH FUCKING ELECTRICAL CENTIPEDES, I HATE YOU SO MUCH Elsa Fogen 18:14 : just fucking look how many times i died in the same room because of these fucking creatures

[Friend name here] 18:15 : Oh. Which location this is? Elsa Fogen 18:24 : trins where [Friend name here] 18:25 : no fucking way... Wait. WHY ARE YOU GOING THERE IT'S TOO EARLY Or wait. You have already been at Five Pebbles?!?! Elsa Fogen 18:27 : where???? I can't go back anyway......... [Friend name here] 18:27 : fuck... it's too early to go there/ Too early. Why can't you return? Elsa Fogen 18:33 : door was closed................... okay i get it all over again [Friend name here] 18:34 : nononno NO NO NO!!!! WAIT FUCK STOP WAIT WAAAAAAAIT DON'T RESTART LOTUS MOTHERFUCKER (lotus was kinda my roleplay nickname lol) DON'T YOU DARE Elsa Fogen 18:37 : wha how then [Friend name here] 18:34 : You talking about gates with karma? Elsa Fogen 18:38 : yes [Friend name here] 18:38 : Fuf... there... look. So you went through. You sleep one time. And you can go once again. Elsa Fogen 18:38 : 🤔

-----

Elsa Fogen 18:53 : Should i look for this thing?

Elsa Fogen 19:54 : What should i do here?

[Friend name here] 20:03 : GO TO SLEEP THEN YOU GO THROUGH HORRIBLE LOCATION TO THE WORSE Don't touch the flies Elsa Fogen 20:23 : And what if i touched them Elsa Fogen 21:43 : Damn it's so dark here

Elsa Fogen 21:54 : Damn there creepy creatures mechanical Elsa Fogen 22:40 : FUCK I SAW AN ART WHERE BROKEN VESSEL HAD THIS FUCKING BLACK-BLUE THING IN THE HEAD

[Friend name here] 23:01 : btw, you're ahead of me xD I just... i need to recover my nerves Elsa Fogen 23:05 : btw this thing that leads you can it be killed? [Friend name here] 23:05 : Yes. Elsa Fogen 23:05 : Fuck) I think mine was killed Elsa Fogen 23:10 : So what should i do if my thing was killed...... Elsa Fogen 23:15 : Are these things dangerous?

Elsa Fogen 23:24 : What a creepy fuckig thing

but it's neat i love their design so much i saw same things in the location with pile of monkies these fucking things annlyed me so much there was a lake and two of these fuckers lived there Elsa Fogen 23:56 : Fuck, can i kill this thing? It's sitting there and that's it............

[Friend name here] 23:56 : You can but.... MANY SPEARS. VERY MUCH. Elsa Fogen 23:59 : OMG OVERSEER, MY SUNSHINE

october 13, 2020

Elsa Fogen 00:00 : OH YES I MADE IT TO THE NEST [shelter] And i understood why the fuck these things for [grapple worms] Elsa Fogen 00:23 : THERE'S 3 OF THEM

Elsa Fogen 00:28 : That's what i call TOTAL FUCK UP

Elsa Fogen 00:31 : i lived Elsa Fogen 00:31 : is that a fucking infection

Elsa Fogen 01:03 : i n f e c t i o n

Elsa Fogen 01:23 : fUCK

Elsa Fogen 01:28 : ....how many spears i need to kill this you say?

[Friend name here] 01:28 : More than 10. :) Elsa Fogen 01:29 : too loose a concept "more than 10" more than 10 can be and 11 and 100 well, two already there ahaha....... [Friend name here] 01:28 : Well.... Hm...... Not 11... Well maybe 20 or more. Elsa Fogen 01:30 : now this sounds as threat of avengers level [Friend name here] 01:30 : One moment. I'll look up their hp. Ha.... Ha.... 200 hp.... Elsa Fogen 01:34 : ................... and how much damage spear does?? [Friend name here] 01:36 : ... [RW wiki screenshot saying how much damage deals every slugcat per spear throw] Elsa Fogen 01:34 : *HYSTERICAL LAUGH* okay i died already around ten times BY JUST FALLING IN THE FUCKING PIT

Elsa Fogen 01:34 : infected snot

Elsa Fogen 01:34 : f UCK i found the door, but it needs the highest karma AND I'M WITH THE LOWEST BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE DEATHS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Elsa Fogen 02:19 : FINALLY FINALLY YES I WENT FURTHER OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M SO TIRED OF THIS PIT Elsa Fogen 02:21 : WAIT WHAT WHERE DID I FLY

IS IT BECAUSE I ATE TOO MUCH INFECTION? [Friend name here] 02:22 : Well it's... It's... If short, there's troubles with gravitation and... THERE'S MANY DADDY LONG LEGS ON THE WAY But first you have to bring around 4 flies to Moon)))) YES YES YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK BRING 2 FOR NOW There will be more further Elsa Fogen 02:25 : ah. these?

Elsa Fogen 21:11 : fuck this shit....

[Friend name here] 21:12 : ))))))) YOU'LL HAVE TO))))) Elsa Fogen 21:12 : no i'm leaving ahupzhvalvva [Friend name here] 21:12 : YEEEEES)))) YOU NEED THIS TO COMPLETE THE GAME By the way Moon quest is not necessary Elsa Fogen 21:14 : thank god

october 16, 2020

Elsa Fogen 20:59 : these fucking tentacles discourage all desire to play rain 🙁

Finding and translating all this takes fucking forever and after this point i moved to another chat and i don't know which one so let me know if you want to see more of this!!!!!!

LIKE REBLOG AND SUBSCRIBE FOR PART 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cutedisneygirl]

The Surprise Trip

This is a one shot idea I got from @lizette50

Warnings: none just sweet, fluff, romantic.

Chris and you have been together for 3 years. You have told him how much you have wanted to go Disneyland. You have been to Disneyworld many times throughout your life but never Disneyland. You and Chris have been to Disney world several times since you got together. One Thursday afternoon a few days before Christmas you and Chris were sitting on the couch. Dodger was curled up at your feet. “Princess, I was thinking.” Chris said.

            “Yeah?” you asked looking up at him with a smile. You loved it when he called you princess.

            “Why don’t we go somewhere for Christmas this year.”

            “Go somewhere? Like where? Do you not want to spend time with your family at Christmas?”

            Chris smiled. “I mean I do…but I also love spending it with you and I just thought…” he paused and didn’t finish.

            “Thought what?”

            “I wanted to do something different. Are you up for it?” He asks looking down at you.

            “Uh…sure I guess.”

            Chris smiled and kissed your head. “You not telling you me where you have in mind?”

Chris shook his head. “Nope it’s a surprise.”

You sighed. “Chris, you know how I am about surprises.”

He smiled. “I know but you always love them and say how much you love it when I do.”

            “Most of the time.” You said with a smile.

Chris smiled. “Well pack a bag and be ready.”

            “How do I need to pack and for how long?”

            “Well, it might be a little chilly and pack for a week.”

You nodded. “Okay. When are we leaving?”

            “I was thinking day after tomorrow.”

            “Wow, that soon? I guess I better go start packing now.” You started to get up.

            Chris grabbed your hand. “Wait, princess, you’re leaving now?”

            “Well, I have a lot to pack if we are going to be gone a week, I probably need to wash some things.”

            “You have tomorrow. We aren’t leaving till day after tomorrow.”

            “I know but it will take a while.” You smile.

Chris laughed. “You’re taking that much?”

            You laugh “No but…”

Chris leaned over and kissed you “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You smiled. “Alright. I love you.”

            “Love you too princess.”

You got up and grabbed your purse by the door and put on your shoes and turned and looked at Chris.

            “Goodnight Chris. I’ll talk to you later.”

            “Goodnight, princess. Sweet dreams. I will call you later.”

You left and headed home, which is only about 20 minutes away from Chris.

            Saturday morning Chris woke up and smiled. Today was the day you and him were driving to your surprise. He looked over at the clock and saw it was 5:00 am. He had told you he would pick you up at 6:30 am. He got a quick shower and got his bag ready. He had taken Dodger to his moms the night before.

This is what Chris is wearing.

You woke up and groaned when you see its 5:40. You had just headed into the bathroom when you get a text.

Chris-Good morning beautiful! I will see you soon. I love you (kiss face and heart)

Y/N-Good morning handsome. Okay I can’t wait to see you. Love you too (kiss face and heart face)

You searched through your closet trying to decide what to wear. You finally decided on

Authors note-not the shoes you wear flats instead.

Chris arrived at your house right at 7:30. He helped you with your stuff and put it in the trunk of his car and you headed out. He pulled out of your driveway and grabbed your hand and placed it on his lap and held it. Chris drove the 20 minutes to the airport. You arrived and after checked in. Chris got your tickets and you headed to your gate. You didn’t have to check any luggage. You both just had carry Ons. After reaching your gate you arrived right on time just as the plane was boarding. Chris handed the lady your tickets.

            “Your good to go. Enjoy your flight.”

Chris took your hand and you walked with him onto the plane down the jet bridge. You sat next to the window and Chris sat beside you in the aisle.

            Several hours later you arrived in LA it was now 8:43 am. After getting off the plane and walking out you waited for a taxi that would take you to your hotel. It took about 40 minutes to arrive at the hotel.

            At 9:23 am. You and Chris arrived at your hotel. You looked around and were amazed and in awe.

The bellhop took the luggage and Chris checked in then followed him to your room.

            “Thanks.” Chris said and paid him.

He nodded and left. Then he turns to you. You are grinning from ear to ear.

            “Surprised?”

            “Yes very! So does this mean we are going to Disneyland?”

Chris smiled. “Yes princess. We can even go now if you want.”

            “Yes! I’m ready!”

            “Alright let’s go.”

Chris took your hand and led you out of the room and you took the elevator to the lobby where you rode the bus that would take you to Disneyland.

Chris and Y/N had spent a wonderful day at Disneyland, riding the attractions, watching the shows, and taking pictures with the characters. They had just watched the fireworks show over Sleeping Beauty Castle, and Chris suggested that they take a walk around the park before it closed. Y/N agreed, and they held hands as they strolled along the paths, enjoying the night lights and the music.

They came across a small bridge that led to a secluded area, where they saw a sign that said, “Snow White’s Grotto”. Chris smiled and said, “Hey, let’s check this out. I heard it’s a very special place.” Y/N nodded, curious to see what it was. They crossed the bridge and entered the grotto, where they saw a small wishing well surrounded by statues of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. They also heard their voices singing “I’m Wishing” and “One Song” from the movie.

Authors note: I loved this pic and had to use it but just image it at night.

Y/N felt a wave of nostalgia and smiled. She loved Snow White as a child, and she still remembered the lyrics to the songs. She looked at Chris and said, “This is so beautiful. I feel like I’m in a fairy tale.” Chris smiled back and said, “You are. You’re the princess, and I’m the prince.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it and revealed a sparkling diamond ring.

He got down on one knee and said, “Y/N, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You make me happy; you make me laugh, you make me feel alive. You’re my best friend, my partner, my soulmate. I love you more than anything in the world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Y/N gasped and felt tears in her eyes. She was speechless, overwhelmed by the surprise and the emotion. She looked at Chris, who was looking at her with hope and love. She nodded and said, “Yes, yes, yes! Of course, I will marry you!” Chris smiled and slid the ring on her finger. He then stood up and hugged her. They kissed passionately, as the music and the stars witnessed their love. They heard a splash and saw that a coin had fallen into the well. They looked at each other and realized that they had just made a wish come true.

Tag List: @cevansbaby-dove @lizette50 @nicoline1998enilocin @frogeezz-blog-blog @ozwriterchick

If I haven't tagged or and you want to be tagged please just let me know. Hope I didn't leave anyone out.

#Chris #ChrisEvans #Disneyland #proposal #Dodger

[fxchild]

The Switch

Miles Fairchild x fem!reader

Chapter three: Listen up

I woke up sweaty and a mess despite the fact that it was pouring and chilly. I had no dreams and no nightmares nothing but a dark void.

Today was Sunday which meant it was personal chore day. When I woke up it was around 7:30 so I decided I needed to get up. I put on some black leggings and a tan sweater for my outfit because I didn't think I'd need to dress up to get dirty.

When I'm dressing I see bruises on my wrist where Miles had grabbed me. They hurt a lot so I had to be extra careful when using my arms.

By the time I went downstairs to get breakfast it was 8:00am. I peered before going in to make sure Miles wasn't there and thankfully he wasn't. Ms. Grose was there and breakfast was ready so we started eating before Miles and Flora came in for their food.

15 minutes later Ms. Grose finished up her breakfast and not long after Miles and Flora came in to eat. I was eating pretty slow but after 5 minutes I finished my food. Miles was eating pretty fast when he usually takes his time and doesn't even finish his plate most of the time.

As I was going to take my plate to wash it ,Ms. Grose said, "Y/n, take Mile's plate too, he's finished." She gave me a raised eyebrow look. I sighed but decided to do it anyways because I wasn't looking to cause trouble with Ms. Grose.

I walk over to Miles seat which is across from mine and scoop up his plate. "Thanks" he says with a small smile and his hands fidgeting in his lap. I roll my eyes and scoff because there is no way in hell he thinks that he is going to try to use his face and one word his way out of an apology.

After breakfast I decided to do some of my laundry. They don't have a washing machine at the house so I have to do laundry by hand. Usually a load from one week takes me an hour and half but this week I had two loads since I had to go into town last Sunday for Ms. Grose who had been under the weather.

About 40 minutes into doing the laundry I hear footsteps walking near my room. I look behind me and see a shadow. I know it's Miles because on Sundays Flora does violin lessons from Ms. Grose and I heard her playing and Ms. Grose never comes near my room unless it's urgent. I get up to walk to see the shadow and confront Miles but he walks right past me with his head down. I scoff and walk back to do my laundry and hear him shuffle around again. I pretend he's not there and I continue to do what I needed to do. I had my sleeves rolled up where my bruises were showing because water kept getting on my sleeves and it was really annoying and uncomfortable.

"Did I do that?" Miles said surprised and proud of himself. I continue to ignore him and do my chores but he starts going near the wet pile of clothes.

"You better hang these up, they're gonna get all moldy." Miles says as he throws my wet sweater on the floor making it splat with water everywhere and all over me. He starts laughing while I'm moving wet hair out of my face.

"Can you stop? Like seriously, you're making a mess everywhere." I spat at him, fed up with his annoyance. He stops laughing and gives me a dirty look. He starts walking out of my room but on his way out he kicks the bucket of water where most of it spills before I could grab it.

I grab something and throw it at the door that he slams screaming, "ASSHOLE" then gets some towels to clean up the soapy mess. I hope he leaves soon, I don't think I can spend another day with this maniac.

I finally finished doing laundry and the rain cleared up with hot weather outside for me to dry my clothes. As I am sorting my clothes in front of a bucket I used to bring them out I see someone looking at me through the window. I have never seen this guy before, he looked older and creepy. I turn around but instead of seeing a stranger I see Miles who quickly runs away when I turn my head.

I finish up my laundry faster to go back inside because I still have to clean my room and bathroom.

By the time I finish cleaning everything and tidying up it's already 5:30pm and around time for dinner.

I go down for dinner and sit in my normal spot next to Ms. Grose. Flora and Miles quickly came after Ms. Grose yelled out to them for supper. Flora takes her seat across from me while Miles plops down in the chair next to mine. I sigh but only loud enough for Miles to hear hoping he'll take the hint and next time won't sit next to or near me.

Dinner was chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy but the chicken was really unseasoned. Maybe next time I'll cook the chicken with some spices instead of her cooking.

I finished up my dinner first within 20 minutes, thank Ms. Grose for the meal and headed upstairs to lesson plan for Flora's school tomorrow. As I'm walking I hear someone running behind me and low and behold it's Miles.

"Hey," he says out of breath rubbing his hands on his jeans awkwardly, "what are you up to now?" He spoke again.

"Just lesson planning for Flora tomorrow, what are you doing?" I say uninterested.

"Nothing much, just bored." He says trying to sound cool. I give him a quick mhm and turn back to head to my room. "Can we talk, you know, about yesterday?" He adds on following me.

"Why do we need to talk about yesterday everything was already said." I say annoyed with him.

"Well you still seem mad and I don't understand why you aren't over it yet." Miles says kinda quietly like he didn't want me to hear it while he kept on speaking.

I quickly spin around so me and him are face to face almost touching. "You wanna know why I'm mad, Miles? Because ever since you came back here you've been a complete jerk to me and all I've tried to be is nice! If you aren't gonna treat me kindly, I'm not going to treat you that way either. So maybe instead of trying to annoy me you show a little respect for once in your spoiled life, okay?" I semi-shout at him with my pointer finger on his chest pushing him back.

"Well I've tried to be nice today and you're still giving me backlash on everything I do! You seriously need to get over it because you are acting like I'm some crazy creep!" He yells back.

"Oh, you're not a creep? Then why today when I was going to dry my clothes, I see you staring at me from out the window? Huh? What about that isn't creepy?!" I laugh in his face.

He looks down at the ground with air filled cheeks and balled up fists. "Look I'm sorry okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" He says, still staring at his feet with an aggravated tone. He runs off and I'm left in the hallway, still running through my mind thinking about what just happened. I walk back to my room still thinking if he actually apologized or I'm just crazy.

After a while of lesson planning it gets pretty late and I needed to get ready for bed. I put on a tank top with shorts for my pajamas because my real pajamas were still outside drying. I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and see Miles in the hallway walking back to his room.

"Hey." I said in a normal voice trying to make sure if we are okay or not. "Um..hi." He says looking me up and down nervously and running away slamming his door. 'Weirdo' I think and laugh to myself.

When I get into bed I'm so tired I almost immediately fall asleep. I think about tomorrow and if anymore drama between me and Miles will start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OMG GUYS TYSM FOR READING THIS N BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME IK IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I POSTED !! I didn't think anyone would read this and then some did and my chapters kept getting deleted from my drafts and it was a whole big thing but again tysm for being so patient 🩷 hopefully the next chapter will come out sooner I should post a chapter between 1-3 days on the regular .!

[andyling]

Heyyyyy so session 5 sure was a time SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

BOOGEYMAN 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO WITH TANGO OF THE TEK

Team Ties really woke up and chose violence this session

were they even trying to kill anyone? i think they just wanted chaos

TANGO BOOGEY TWICE IN A ROW HELL YEAH LET’S GO

TEAM BEST FLASHBACKS TEAM BEST FLASHBACKS 

soooo Team Bites hmmm, let’s see how long that lasts

Skizz I’m sorry, but Bdubs betrayed y’all before in Last Life and he sure as hell will do it again

EVERYONE STEALS THE MEAN GILLS’ SUGARCANE LMAO

I think the whole reason Team Ties blew up the bread bridge was because they had too much TNT and all of them are obsessed with blowing shit up

Like they didn’t go for anyone’s actual bases, they weren’t trying to destroy resources, and they weren’t trying to kill anyone

motherfuckers just wanted to make things go boom

AND I AM IN FULL SUPPORT OF THAT WOO GO TEAM TIES

Tango’s toaster PSA caught me so off guard WHO GAVE HIM THAT IDEA?!?!? WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?!?!?

the fact that Tango had already accepted that their tower was gonna get destroyed, mans may be insane but he’s fair that’s for sure

awwwwww them chanting MVP to Etho is so sweet

tango’s the server resident professional warden wrangler now

good to know Tango still remembers every person that’s wronged him

TANGO FINALLY GOT REVENGE ON BDUBS FOR LAST LIFE HAHAHAHA WOOOOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!! >:D

also Tango getting an effective trap out of tnt minecarts is character development, good for him! :D

soooo does Tango have the most time out of everyone on the server now?

team bites did not last long askdghajsghkjadkdsak

Nosy Neighbors and Team Ties becoming allies is not something I expected to happen, but it is very welcomed

Team Ties are actually pretty great to have as allies as long as you don’t spite them, then honey you got a big storm coming

THE SATISFACTION I FELT WHEN TANGO BROUGHT UP LAST LIFE TO BDUBS IS IMMESURABLE HELL YEAH BABY REVENGE IS SWEET

Jimmy “sad boi” Solidarity everyone

Love how Jimmy spends most of Limited Life acting as though he’s in a Let’s Play series

mans is in the middle of a death game and he’s like “Alright gang, today we’re getting sheep!”

gotta love how the title for “most antagonistic team on the server” keeps bouncing between the Bad Bois and Team Ties 

Flower Husbands and their never-ending divorce

bye bye bad bois bread bridge

why is Joel specifically blaming Tango akjfjhdkasghkadjs

it’s hilarious how they’re all questioning why Team Ties blew up the bread bridge when the actual answer is probably “they like blowing things up”

no thoughts, head empty, just boom boom

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT GRIAN’S ALLIANCE WITH SKIZZ THAT SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE IMPORTANT IS IT STILL INTACT???

BRUH JIMMY IS SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THAT FROG DO YOU HEAR HIS VOICE GODDAMN

awwww judge judy and executioner jumped to Jimmy that’s cute

PEARL NO

poor judge judy and executioner :(

Grian is so appalled at the carrot cake oh my gosh

GRIAN CALLING THE FROG CONFLICT A SIDE PLOT, THAT’S CANON

dude Grian is so done with everything 

the Bad Bois and the Clockers are family now, this family tree is wack

Scar you can’t call them Boomers when Bdubs was literally on a team called the Boomers on Hermitcraft with Impulse and Tango

AMAZING HOW THE BAD BOIS WENT INTO THE TIES BASE AND JOEL AND JIMMY HAD NO IDEA WHY

this is why we all think Grian’s gonna betray them

GRIAN’S SHEER PANIC WHEN GETTING ATTACKED BY THE ENDERMAN MY MAN WAS LOSING HIS MIND

everyone is so nonchalant about reds this season 

Zombiecleo watches her children make poor decisions for 40 minutes

Cleo packing snacks for Bdubs and Scar and then sending them to be supervised elsewhere is so funny

sending them to Etho was probably not a great idea though considering Team Ties need supervision themselves 

they don’t have any which is why they’re constantly going off the rails

LMAO CLEO OVERHEARD TEAM BITES ENTIRE CONVERSATION

I LOVE THE SUBTITLES THAT CLEO PUTS IN HER VIDEOS THEY’RE SO FUNNY

ooooooooh Bdubs is in troubleeeeee

it really does feel like he’s being scolded by his mother LMAO

Scar really decided to make up a whole ass holiday and not tell anyone else on the server except for his family and only to give them presents

BDUBS WHAT DO YOU MEAN ETHO STARTED SMOKING HELLO???

love how aware Cleo is of whatever the fuck is going on with Bdubs and Etho throughout the life series

THE ENDERMAN ARE REALLY GOING OFF THIS SESSION

honestly i think Cleo dislikes Team Ties because of Etho and Etho specifically, like she seems pretty chill with Tango

“if you’re gonna be an absent father could you at least be absent” GOES SO HARD HOLY SHIT CLEO GO OFF QUEEN

Bdubs is so close to being disowned by his family

CLEO AND SCAR KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT BDUBS IS ABOUT TO BE BOOGEY KILLED AND SAYING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HIM

whelp Team Bites is dead

THE AWKWARD FAMILY DINNER OH MY FUCKING GOD

“Bdubs, how was your day?” Etho asks fully aware that his teammate blew Bdubs up because of Boogey and a two season long grudge

“This episode is weirder than the one with the fever” IT REALLY IS

ETHO DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH WHEN BDUBS PLACED THAT TNT DOWN MANS JUST CARRYING ON AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED

“wth is this dynamic?” YOU TELL ME CLEO YOU’RE THE ONE PLAYING INTO IT DON’T ACT LIKE YOU AREN’T

mom and dad are fighting

WHY ARE THEY PLAYING CATCH WITH A TNT MINECART WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM 

“sometimes children only learn the hard way” THEY NEVER LEARN

i don’t even think Etho was trying to kill them, all of them are just insane

this is the reason that skizzle didn’t go red first, THIS IS THE REASON

Etho is definitely losing the custody battle

CLEO’S PANIC UPON HEARING SCAR’S ABOUT TO GO RED

i’m getting flashbacks with “the red army rises” goddammit

what the fuck is wrong with Skizz

In conclusion, next session is gonna be WILD

[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

wassup, im back with (posting about) trying to get my life back together

i didnt quit the 100 days of struggling, or whatever, i was really just, well, struggling. to be alive, i guess.

yesterday was the peak of me feeling the most unstable over the last week or two, i think it was mostly due to my period being around the corner, so hormones are going crazy and you know the old shenanigan of - you know that your period is coming, when you start feels borderline suicidal and depressed.

ngl, it was scary as hell, because i think it was 40/60 of why i was feeling so down - 40 being the initial struggle, 60 being the fear coming from "i dont want for things to scale back to how they once were". because how they once were is best described the one sinlge word - hell.

anyway, the drama aside, i am now feeling much much better, thankfully, and i have a more positive outlook on life. at least for now.

so, we're missing the days from the 4th of July. insert the eagle scream. i will try to recount them from my memory to the best of my abilities, more so for myself and to keep track of days.

3/100 days of getting my life back together

Friday, July 5, 2024

quite frankly, I don't remember where the day went. i looked around for some notes or whatever else scattered in my place and im not sure what exactly was i doing. the only highlight of that day, was that i finally payed off the first paying for my dentist check and i think that is the most information I have. i think i woke up at 2:30 pm, so that would explain the short day. i remember studying a little bit in the evening and it probably was the software engineering notes, aka SE, since i think i was studying in bed and i do notes for se on my tablet.

4/100 days of getting my life back together

Saturday, July 6, 2024

on this day i met up with my friends for some socialization, i guess. we talked and had some boba. i studied on my way there and back, which came up to about an hour of studying in total. the rest of the day is, again, a mystery to me. maybe i should start keeping a journal to help myself. because i freaking bought one on that day fdskflsd

5/100 days of getting my life back together.

Sunday, July 7, 2024

okay, here i was really happy, because for the first time in weeks i managed to not only wake up at 8 am, but also went to bed somewhere between 22-23 at the clock. granted, i fell asleep an hour later, after i woke up, because i was suddenly hit with a wave of sleepiness and tiredness, but, i guess, one small step at a time. i mean it did fuck up my sleeping schedule for today, because i ended falling asleep somewhere between 2 and 3 am, but we have what we have.

the highlight of yesterday was finally finishing up a job i was postponing for MONTHS, which was printing out all the documents we would need, for my mom to apply for a job. i won't be going into too much details of why and etc, but yeah. at the end of the day i had 8 copies of 4 documents printed out, and was feeling more or less good about it.

at the second 4 copies batch printer decided to start playing games, and first chewed on the paper it was printing, and then i decided to try a new approach to try to speed things up, but it only ended up damaging one of the copies, so i had to redo that. but at the end of the day, the job was done.

i didn't study at all that day, because as i said at the start of this post - this was the day, when my head decided, that it's a great time to go sad-mode.

i also started taking some vitamins that have been laying around for a few months now, because i feel really crappy and i need some help, that maybe they can provide, before i get my eating habbits and everything else back in place. for now i am hoping they could be my crutches.

oh, and also i did some yoga to stretch my body. nothing huge, but i guess it's something good?

6/100 days of getting my life back together

Monday, July 8, 2024

and now we are back to present day. woke up at about 11:30 or so. played a little bit of guitar for the first time since MONTHS, i started learning the scientist, we'll see how it goes. i figured to reward myself, i would put a new fun sticket on it, if i finished learning it.

anyway, it is now 15:35 as i am writing this, i will be now cleaning up a little bit and getting back to studying.

DB 4 (finish up)

SE 4 (finish up)

DB 5

SE 5

[chaotically-coz]

Entry #1, sep 11 2024.

Dear diary,

Yeah.. i dont really know what im trying to do here, but i suck at venting so i guess this is a better way for me to actually say stuff.

Saying ‘dear diary’ sounds kinda weird tbh, im probably gonna come up with a new name or something, idk

Uhh… today hasnt exactly been the best, it wasn’t the worst either.

I woke up late and ended up being like- 40 minutes late to school. I dont feel like being yelled at by my teacher, especially considering the fact ive already been late several times, and its only the first day!

Anyways, i pulled the ‘i threw up’ card and managed to skip… i know i shouldnt have. I shouldnt have faked my way out of school.. i dont know why but i just cant go back to seeing that look of disappointment.

We’re only about 5 days into school and i already feel like im disappointing everybody i know. Irl friends have noticed ive seemed different in school.. i just feel so out if it lately. Almost like im.. not really there? Like im moving in third person. Like a part of me just feels.. empty. Im trying, i really am!

I think one of my closest friends saw my scars the other day… thats not good. I know she saw them, i pulled my arm away and we never discussed it but still,,

A lot of my other friends have been distant.. one of them i have like, no classes with. The other one moved away.. i have most of my classes with the same people, i guess seeing the same people over and over is getting tiring.

I can feel myself falling behind in subjects, but im seriously trying!! I cant help but zone out- or get distracted. I cant pick up the teaching or understand ni matter how hard i try. Ive suspected i had ADHD for a while, pretty sure my friends have too. Im too terrified to ask my mom for a proper diagnosis, and i dont want to self diagnose myself, so i guess ill just wait untill everybody stops thinking im stupid and actually suspect things.

Aaaaanyways, i didnt do much today aside from staying home. I watched tv most of the day, which i know is lazy but like… my chromebook charger is broken so i cant really do much else. I could go outside or take a walk. I know i need to practice for cheer and dance.

I did my brothers hair today, that was really funny, we screamed the lyrics to stupid songs.

The thought, “am i forgettable?” Has been playing through my mind alot. Like.. i know that im chaotic and an arsonist and whatever but.. what else?

Is that really all there is to me? What am i really like? Do people view me how i view myself? I guess I’ll never really know the true answers.

I just.. i feel so forgettable. Like.. if i dissapeared.. nobody would notice. I just.. idk.

I dont feel like myself. I wanna feel normal.. i dont care if ‘normal’ meant a being of chaos and destruction, and pretty mentally ill.. atleast i felt like a person. I’d rather feel like that than feel so empty.. i dont like this.

Ive gained weight.. talking abt stuff like this on the internet is kinda eughhhh but still. I feel like i need to vomit every time i eat.. or just stop eating.. i dont feel comfortable in my body anymore.

I’m trying to stop venting so much, i feel like im beginning to do it too much, and people are getting tired of me.

Drama club starts on friday!! Im pretty excited for that. I cant wait to get back into theater.

Uhhhh yeah! Theres a bunch more but idk how much i can fit into one entry, its pretty late so im probably sleeping soon. I guess thats it!

Entry completed

[dave-cobb]

LUCY LAVERICK HIRSCH, 5/10/40 - 7/11/24 My mother, Lucy Laverick Hirsch has passed away at 84. I was in the ER with her when she left us.

She developed extreme Osteoarthritis in her hips and shoulders and had been having mobility issues for the last six years, including a spinal compression fracture. These issues accelerated over last two years with her being unable to walk more than a short distance or stand without discomfort. On Friday, June 27th she woke in severe pain, unable to stand up or walk at all, and went to the ER who evaluated her physical condition and transferred her into a skilled nursing facility.

She was there for two weeks, with no change in her mobility. While her memory had been declining the last few years, it had been getting noticeably worse the last few months, with a sharp decrease in her mental acuity while in the skilled nursing facility. In the last few days, she’d also been fighting some sort of rapid chest infection, which is what ultimately made her body shut down completely on Thursday, July 11th 2024 at 12:44pm; she was heavily sedated and sleeping when her body finally succumbed.

Her passing was a release to her, definitly a burden lifted — it happened quickly, without pain or prolonged suffering.

Per Lucy’s wishes, there will be no memorial service. In lieu of flowers or condolences, we hope that her passing can shed light on and help de-stigmatize Borderline Personality Disorder — a mental health diagnosis that Lucy sadly rejected and unfortunately never sought treatment for. I truly believe she would have been happier had she been able to seek help. You can make a donation in her name to Emotions Matter, a non-profit resource for families impacted by BPD: https://emotionsmatterbpd.org

____________

Upon her passing, my feelings about her are, to say the least, complicated. Any grief I have about losing her was processed a long time ago, alongside a decade of therapy trying to understand and accept a mental illness that she denied and never sought treatment for. While I had managed to establish a boundary that enabled me to have a functional relationship with her, she was never the mother I wanted or needed. I have a lot of anger and resentment about her decades of emotional abuse; that’s not to mention her decades of serious financial irresponsibility as well, which was a burden to both of her husbands, and ultimately me. She had pushed pretty much everyone in her family away, spent all of her money, and I was the last man standing.

I’ve pushed through years of painful therapy to really understand that her behavior was largely beyond her control and came from a place of fear and deep depression. She was a very unhappy woman, who took out her unhappiness on the people closest to her, while putting on a happy, likable face to the rest of the world.

Jason and I have spent the past seven years trying to make sure she was safe and comfortable amidst her limited mobility, even amongst constant, ongoing patterns of gaslighting and lashing out. I had resigned myself over the last few years to hold both truths: that my feelings for her involve a lot of pain, and that she’s also a human being to whom I can offer grace and dignity as she passes.

It’s been awkward when people console me during all of this — I’m not particularly sad, and I feel pangs of guilt when people expect me to be sad. It’s too complicated to fill in all the blanks with people, so I am trying to be gracious. But it weighs on me.

She was completely sedated with her in the ER for about four hours. Hilarious side note: I put on a movie on the hospital room TV to pass the time until she was gone, thinking I picked something light and innocuous and dumb with A DOG’S PURPOSE — which was absolutely the wrong choice and I was a total sobbing mess but for all the wrong reasons? Forced catharsis perhaps? Regardless, the stupid dog movie helped.

Eventually I started softly whispering to her, “it’s okay, you can let go now, don’t be scared.” I gasped as I literally watched her vitals start to drop slowly as I kept talking to her softly and gently, encouraging her to move on. “You can let go now. It’s time.”

I even joked with her, “and you know, you were a total pain in the ass.”

I don’t believe in an afterlife — so I don’t mourn her loss, but instead mourn that she had a lifetime of pain and confusion. I mourn that I never truly had an authentic mother-son relationship, but rather had to craft myself into a theoretical “good son” version of me that fit her mercurial needs. I mourn not really having positive family memories with her, but only ongoing drama and heartache that, as the “good son”, I often had to placate and soothe.

As I kept speaking to her softly and watched her vitals nearing zero, I said “I hope you can find peace.”

I truly hope that my mother actually heard me and somehow found peace when she passed.

I know I finally have.

[novel-nook-blog]

Camp NaNo – week 1

Monday (7/1):

It's 9:30 pm and I finally opened my laptop. Uff, what a long day. Ngl, I'm exhausted. I woke up at 5:30 am to get ready for work. I left at almost 4 pm. Then there was a problem with my car (stressing af) and I had about 20 minutes to get to a meeting in another town so... very nice. The meeting was 'till 6 pm and around 6:30 pm I was finally home. Now let's get to writing.

It's 10 pm and I'm falling asleep as I write so it's time to put my laptop down and get some rest before my work, tomorrow. I haven't written much, but I didn't want to start with a 0 tomorrow.

Wordcount: 326

Tuesday (7/2):

It's 17:40 and I'm opening my second draft. I'm so hyped even though I just got home 😂... maybe I'm even overhyped because an hour ago I had a veeeery strong coffee and I mean wow, it just kicked in and I'm overflown with energy. So my writing is either going to be very good or very bad, we'll see.

On my schedule is: finish chapter 1 (I started it yesterday); start reading The Throne of Glass. I read that book a lot of times already, but it has similar writing style as I'm using in this book and I found out I'm repeating the same words again and again, so I want to use this reread for the benefit of my vocabulary (plus I want to reread the whole series this summer, although I wanted to finish reading Iron Flame first... so complicated, right?)

My plans for the day have escalated quite differently. We had a game night so after about 200 words I stopped writing for several hours and just before I head to bed I wrote up to 752 words. It's still not much, but I can't focus anymore. We'll se how tomorrow's going to be. I was planning to write all day, but I found out we're going to the ZOO. I'm very excited for our little trip, but at the same time I have no idea how the heck I'm going to get the wordcount I need. This challenge is going to be fun.

Wordcount: 752

Wednesday (7/3):

It's 10 pm and I just opened my laptop. This day could be divided into two parts – the awesomest one and the worst stressful nightmare. Me, my mom and my sister went to the trip to the zoo. It was a wonderful day. But after that there was a family matter that we had to solve so I didn't have time for writing...

Wordcount: 0

Today it's Tuesday, 9th of July... I'm so sorry for my delayed post but the thing is I am sick. I have the stomach flu since Saturday, but have been feeling so off most of the week so the last time I've written anything was on Friday and it wasn't much. Hopefully I'm going to be back on track soon but now I'm feeling so bad that the only thing I do is sleep and watch TV.

Also on Thursday I had an 11 hour long shift at work so very tiring day. On Friday my friend had a birthday party so I was with her all day and when I got back I started feeling sick but I didn't think it was something to worry about. On Saturday me and my dad went to visit my aunt and when we got back the stomach flu started in all it's power and hadn't left since.

I'm not sure how I'll get 45k words in my draft by the end of July but now health is my priority. So I'm going to get back when I'm feeling better.

[blindrapture]

FRIDAY JUNE 10TH, 2011 (Clearly Exaggerated)

2:37 AM Blackpool.

2:51 AM We’ve arrived at the marketplace.

2:52 AM Mistress is sitting atop her makeshift throne. She’s watching me. I don’t see Donnie anywhere. "You're very observant. You can see her after I've seen your journals." ……crap. The Rapture Duck ate my earlier journals. Mistress is coming down from her throne. She's laughing. She snaps her fingers, and puppets arrive holding a rather wet and wrinkly looking book. My journals from Spain. "Is that what you were talking about?" Yes, ma’am. I forgot Mistress can make her puppets do dirty work. And they’re always watching me, watching my every move. Mistress grabbed the journal and is now flicking through it. The light here is rather scarce. There’s a couple barrels nearby with fires in them, but other than that and the moon, there’s not really much light. Mistress looks disturbingly real under this light. Even though she’s just a marionette. She looks like she’s almost human. Almost. "Oh, just look at all this... I'm so pleased! You're such a good pet. 'The White Jester,' I'm impressed, you inspired an epithet! The name suits you." Th.. thank you. "God, all these descriptions of violence are making me horny. You sure know how to win a girl's heart."

3:00 AM She just made out with me. She made sure to do it for longer than last time, and with all the puppets watching. And one more person. She's pointed out Donnie in the crowd. Donnie’s oh my god Donnie’s thin. What the hell have these guys been dYES MA’AM Mistress wants to make sure I know who’s watching for this next bit. …oh god, Mistress, I can’t, no. "You. Me. Right here, right now. I promise I won't give you splinters." I really can't. I just got back, I'm gonna want to unwind... I really appreciate the sentiment, I promise, but I mean I've never even done it bef

6:54 AM Mistress says I’m amazing at that. Mistress says I can get more tomorrow night. Mistress corrected herself. Mistress says I will get more tomorrow night. Mistress wants me to go to bed now. Mistress will let Donnie go with me. Mistress says one last thing. Mistress kissed me on the cheek and said “Welcome home, White Jester.” Mistress is gone now.

8:41 AM It was a slow walk home to what used to be the tropers' house. Donnie looked at me for most of the walk. She looked to be in a lot of pain. And she looked sympathetic. I tried my best to return the look. Donnie’s in the bathroom now. She went straight in upon returning. My body is in a lot of pain. In retrospect, I’m glad I wasn’t allowed to keep writing in my journal for that. It’ll be easier to forget. Donnie’s crying. Donnie’s sobbing. I’m going to go see what I can do. I just.. have to. I owe it to her.

9:11 AM Donnie’s asleep now, next to me. I talked to her. I let her cry on my shoulder. I really feel like I owe her. I have no idea what they’ve done to her while I was gone. She won’t tell me. I respect that; I won’t pry. She just told me that she wished, when she came out of the bathroom, it would all go away. When we got into bed, Donnie started hugging me and still hasn’t stopped. I’ve got my arms free. But I.. god. I need to think of some way out of here. I need to get us both out of here.

5:40 PM Woke up at noon. Can’t remember the nightmare. It had something to do with last night.. and some event with my family. My arms were busy hugging Donnie, so I didn’t write it down. I think that’s for the best. Then I drifted off to sleep again. Donnie’s up now, which is why I am. I didn’t dream a real dream this time. I just heard Mistress’ clearly exaggerated sexual moans over and over again. Does she really enjoy the sex? Can you even call that sex? How would I even know? Can you even call me a good guy anymore? Can you even call me a human anymore?

5:49 PM Donnie and I are going out to look for a meal. Together. .w.

5:54 PM We agreed not to go towards the marketplace. We’re just looking nearby.

6:02 PM Restaurant. Raiding the kitchen.

7:40 PM There was food. Lots. We cooked some meals and sat down at a table for two. We talked. About happy things. I told Donnie about some of the fun I had, the new CDs I got, the SLCEMs, Jordan Versus the Minotaur, and how much I missed her. Donnie told me about a new dress the Mistress got her. It’s pretty. And.. blue. I like blue. We mostly spoke about our old lives, really. I talked about what life was like back when I used to live in America, all my old friends, my old schools, the video games I once played. Donnie talked about her life in Surrey, the evenings she’d spend with her mother, the volunteer work she'd do at Halliford, the days she’d spend out wandering through town for the sake of it… At one point, Donnie grabbed my hands and told me how she really didn’t know if I was gonna make it back or not. She didn’t know if I had it in me to.. kill people just out of no choice. She didn’t even know if she could trust me to come save her. As much as we get along, I haven’t even known her for a month. I told her she was completely right; I’m practically a stranger to her. I told her I completely understood why she’d be so afraid and hopeless. These are tough times. But the important thing is that I’m back. I mean, that is the important thing. ..right?

8:01 PM ..I killed those people. I killed a lot of people in that church. I did. I’ve done horrible things. I can’t imagine how much disgust Donnie must feel. I’m terrible.

11:01 PM ..Donnie gave me a hug. Randomly. Maybe she doesn’t hate me. But I’m still terrible, I am.

11:11 PM I wish I could redeem myself.

11:58 PM Knocking on the door. Checking.

(Attached: "The Harlequin once had a pet cat. She named him Cheese Puff, and he was orange and little. Cheese Puff loved cuddles. The Harlequin would take Cheese Puff to see the seaside, and she'd dream of getting a house on a cliff, waking up every morning to Cheese Puff licking her nose. But this was before he came into her life and made her promise her love. After that, she found Cheese Puff's feet in her backyard, curled up like little.. well, cheese puffs. She never found the rest.")

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[taekooktimeline]

November 14, 2022 -

Tae goes live on Weverse around 1:40 am in Korea. He’s only live for six minutes but mentions Jungkook and Yeontan in that short amount of time.

Tae mentions he took a nap, woke up to talk to Jungkook directly (see K ARMY comments below), and he was going back to sleep after (then corrects to say he’s going to watch a movie). Exact words, per K ARMY - “I slept, and while I was talking with Jungkook (sigh) bye -” (the “bye” is him reading Jin’s comments) -

Also important to note is he instinctually glances to his left as he says this. Based on him tracking someone moving across the room (more below), the way he instinctively glances when he mentions Jungkook, and the below from K ARMY, I personally think that means Jungkook is there, but of course you decide as you like.

Glancing after he says Jk’s name -

Clip of him mentioning Jk - https://twitter.com/tktk123v/status/1591830535080652801?s=46&t=g25yi4xjJAS-_26W9VF_BA

https://twitter.com/ging_jjk/status/1591830541250465792?s=46&t=g25yi4xjJAS-_26W9VF_BA

https://twitter.com/tae4kookiebts/status/1591831209164013568?s=46&t=g25yi4xjJAS-_26W9VF_BA

K ARMY translated his comment regarding his conversation with Jungkook and indicated it was not a phone call but a direct, physical conversation (users covered for privacy) -

During the live, which is in his home, he follows movement. He made sure to tell us Yeontan is with his parents -

This means he’s not watching him move across the room, but someone else (there also appears to be the sound of rustling, though it could be from his movement).

Clip can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/yourstrulytkk/status/1591843577973428226?s=46&t=7QsNm0stsYwr7opyGLCeBw

https://twitter.com/gomeltaehyung/status/1591843996888084484?s=46&t=7QsNm0stsYwr7opyGLCeBw

He says he’s going to watch a movie and go back to bed (which I interpret to mean a movie night with Jungkook, since I believe he’s there based on the above, but again, you can discern it as you like).

Thread of translation - https://twitter.com/btsbaragi_jk/status/1591841482868154369?s=46&t=EU5nXRk6v1Hv65Enhcp2ug

Also something to note is the sound at 1:37. It doesn’t look like Tae is making that slurping / rustling noise? (Idk what else to call it) but I’m not entirely sure. Let me know what you think since I’m indecisive if the noise is due to Tae moving or Jk in the background☺️around 5:37-5:42 you can hear footsteps in the background (I had to listen carefully to hear).

[wtflife01]

I know this blog is not for this but I needed to get it out of me.

So yesterday was my birthday, and I have lots of friends but only a tight circle, all friends congratulated me but my tight circle didn’t. We are a group of 5, my best friend, 3 friends and me. 2 of them didn’t remember (2nd year on the row yet I always remember and send them gifts). 1 i “remind her” of it because she promised me last week that we will go out for dinner (didn’t happen)

And my best friend just text me “hbd” and I jokingly said “where’s my insta post?” (It’s tradition between us to post each other in our bdays, idk if they do it in other countries but here in the US we do)

She responded “I have no time” then posted me at the end of the day in private and I couldn’t repost which I told her and she said she had no time. Yet she had time the whole day to be posting other kind of stories about her day

Thing is. I am upset, I know I am not a teen anymore so I should take this with a grain of salt but it kinda hurts, we all been friends for 6-9 years and I always go out of my way to buy them gifts, congratulate them and even host surprise parties for them, when they win something I always congratulate them, make sure they know how amazing they are. Yet without it being an exaggeration, they don’t do it for me. And since the pandemic I started feeling they only talk to me when they have problems and need help, which I always give them and no matter if they woke me up at 3am because a boy didn’t want to date them or they need me to go pick them up from somewhere.

And idk I am not angry but I am sad, and I have been thinking maybe I should make new friends but like I am 24 now, I feel it’s too late to meet people.

Well firstly belated happy birthday.

it’s not too late to meet people, my mother is OLD and some of her closet friends she met them in her 40s. you are used to have those people in your life and change is scary even more the thought of being alone but they clearly making you feel lonely and not appreciated so what’s the point, idk them personally but my experience from being in similar situations chances are they keep you around because you are reliable and know you will help and be there for them when no one else would, probably too self centered to even realize they are hurting you and you care too much about them to put yourself first.

[missorigamimk]

'' I don't mind suffering,as long you're next to me''

Warnings ; Fictional, NIjiro Imagine , Blood, Ilnness, Cancer,Fluff,Sexual Content,Consentual, Drama, Fictional Phone Numbers&Email Contacts!!!

1. the START

Good Morning.

You have called Dr. Love Dr. Shuntaro For appointments & therapy sessions; Mon-Friday- 08:00 - 14:00 & 17:00-21:00

Emergency Phone : +8148-837-2222

Contact : dr.ShuntaroCh@hotmail.com

Central Tokyo Clinic Office ; info@ctjpnshuntaro

That's the voice mail of his Professional Number...One of the most Known Doctors in Japan.

One of the Best Therapy Doctor in Tumours , Cancer etc

Monday , June 12th 2020

08:16 pm

It was such a chilling morning , the dawn was so beautifull but also cold! The mist was around the atmospere and my bedroom was so wet and not cozy at all. But as i was warm inside my warm bed and pillow i was refusing to get up. But I had to. I had to get up in order to have my medical examinations result.

Three days ago i had a test done because i had something like a little ball inside my right chest and that was excactly was scared of. Cancer. It was small though, but at the same time it freaked out.

I got up in a hurry, i made a hot cup of coffee , having some quick snack , made my hair little messy but cute , i put some light make up and wore almost every wool coat on me. I grabbed my car keys and off the door.

I made it to the Clinic that i was 72 hours before.

It was a little crowded , some patients waiting for their check up, others were crying , i suppose that broke my heart. Bad results sad news .Oh God. I am just 40 years old. !!! I don't wanna die from that damn illness ! Not Yet ! I walked at the Front Desk , like i was already...dead

"Goodmorning"

"Good morning . How can I help you" ?

" I...I am here -- I just had some check ups 3 days ago and i came to give me the results...its for..-

" Yeah, I'llsee your Medical Records here. Are they for X-Rays ?

"yeah..."

"Gimme your name please"

" It's Dion Bone"

She did just 4-5 seconds to find my File from this Data base but seemed to me like a century.

"Ok. Here you are. Let me print this 4 you. I'll need your Insurance Number . OK"

"Sure."

"Have you got any other treatments before, or have you been checked up in other Clinics'?

"ahhh Nope i haven't..."

"Ok. Don't worry. Our team has the best Doctors here. "

"If you say so..."

"Alright. She sighs. Here it is. "

She gave me a large yellow folder with all papers in it, and some white Page with a list of Doctors i could visit and have my therapy.

"So, you're done from here. You can go to the Doctors office to see your exams?"

"Yeah"

"Dr. Shuntaro is On Duty today. His office is at your right hand at the end of the Hall. : OK?

" Great...thank you"

" Have a nice day, and please....stay calm. She winked.

Panic and stress is never good for whatever..."

"I'll try" I replied and i grab my staff heading through the big problem that was in front of me and my health.

My steps was like a zombies....slow,stiff and almost ready to collapse. I had already pulpitations .

His door was in front of me and i couldn't - just didn't want to knock it. I stood there for about 2 min without doing a move forward or backwards.... I was ready to go , suddenly his voice heard behind the close door.

" OK. Mrs Tale. Have a good morning. I'll see you next week"

I run to hide behind a thick wall , sneaking looks in his door.

I was acting like idiot , as if he was the Satan himself.

What i was affraid of? Any given result, bad or not , i had to know.

He opened the white heavy door and his voice was closer.

"Bye! Don't forget your medicine dear!"

He came out walking to the front desk .

"Hey What's Up Macy?"

"Hey Dr. How are you doing?"

"Not bad. I just wanna some coffee in my veins! I didn't had anything yet. I woke up very fast today ... i feel like sleepy!"

"A-ha Chishiya , you must have some days off you know!"

Yes! Take some days off will ya ! Gimme a break !"

I thought while i was already walking through the back exit.

I heard his footsteps coming my way.

"Can I help you."?

"SHIT!" He saw me...

I looked back as i turned and i saw him.

Dr. Shuntaro himself.

I felt more stressed than i was before. Almost frozen

I-I...."Actually...Ye-Yes"

"I'm Dion Bone. I just had some exams and i want you to see these"

"Sure. Please, come inside" he said pointing his office entrance

He made a small step to enter but he stopped and turned to my face

"Oh. Sorry for being so rude. Would you like some coffee"?

" Aahhh... ok"

"Macyyy!! Can you please get some coffee for Dion"?

"Sure!" She yelled.

"He smiled . Alrighty. Please....( hand gesture welcoming to his office)

He placed his coffee on his desk , he sat down , comfortably at his white leather chair.

"So, What exams are they?

I handed him the large envelope and he opened it carefully with his delicate hands.

"Hhmmm . X-Rays"

"Breast Cancer X-Rays"...

He was looking at them without talking much , he was fully concetrate on this.

In all this time , i was just sitting there, frozen,scared and panicking.

"Miss. Bone. Your exams are not so bad. There is indeed a tumour in your right breast but as i can see it's curable. Oh yeah, let me check an....- yes it is. If you start your therapy right now it's absolutely curable. So, you don't have to afraid."

" Are you sure Dr.? I am - I am ... a tear started to make an appearance....40 years old and I don-

"You are not going to. Do you hear me? You're going to be Fine!"

"Come here. He pushed the paper closer so i can also see

"Do you see this?" He pointed with his index finger some area from the X , i swear i could't understand a single thing but he was a doctor so i guess i should show some trust!

" Your tumour is here. It's 0.2 inch , which means it;s not have growing yet' We can easily make it ...gone !:

"What about metastasis Doc?"

"Metastastis isn't something we must concern now"OK?

I sighed. "Ok" "When we should start my therapy"?

"Well, what about tomorrow'? "Unless you wanna have some second opinion..i mean...if you've already"

"No No! Do you mean if i have another Doctor? NO!'

"Yes. If that's so, i don;'t have any problem"

" No...You are my....First. I mean , in Medical's Issues!"

" I got you. I'm going to give ya some prescription ok. I want you to stay away from stress, anxious and bad mindset."

" Would you do this?"

" I will do my best"

"That's it"

He smiled to me so sweet so calming that is like it was the first relaxing thing i needed that moment....

"Thank you so much 4 your help Dr."

I stood up my chair , grabbing my purse and ready to go.

" Oh. Just a moment. Here. "

He passed me his tiny Medical ID card with the Phone Number and Email.

" Here's the way to find me. In Case you need some advice"

" Thank you so much again . Bye. See you soon!"

"Let me walk you out"

He opened the door for me , and i felt his hand on my back.

"Bye. See ya!" He winked his right eye...and smiled again.

PART 2 COMING SOON !!