#i am real glad i turned down the random job offer i got

[awesomefroggy]

Them: Oh man! You left your job? What have you been up to?

What I want to say: being too tired to complete basic chores, can really only comfortably leave the house like twice a week, getting to pick one floor of my house to exist on for the whole day, am so chronically nauseous that two applesauce pouches and some cookies is an accomplishment some days, hopping between therapy and physical therapy and still trying to see irl friends, resetting joints and stretching muscles that hurt too much to do the physical therapy, feeling really guilty listening to all the stuff anyone else is accomplishing in a day, trying to distract myself with a million creative projects that I will inevitably get too tired to finish...

What I actually say: Oh! Y'know, taking some time to slow down, do housework, all that good stuff. I've started a couple of art projects, wanna see?

[neapeaikea]

You Can Stay

I, much like every AK writer, am of course offering up my own Adrian/Deran reunion fic! We need all the 'Deran sees Adrian on a beach'-fics we can get! Obviously wrote and posted this a lot quicker than I usually would, so please excuse typos etc and hopefully it makes sense and doesn't have plotholes or comes across as too obviously written as a reaction to what we saw on the show. Honestly mate, I'm just happy Deran's alive but gdi we were denied a reunion!! Might end up revisiting this one, or write an entirely different reunion fic, there are a lot of thoughts right now.

It's available on AO3 here, but to make sure as many people as possible that need a little healing help right now sees it, it's also available here and under the cut.

______

Deran stays behind the treeline, like he has done for the previous two days. It’s safe there. There, he still has a choice. A chance. If he walks down onto the sand, approaches the water, he won’t have any other choice than to announce his presence to Adrian. Right now, there’s still a possibility that Adrian will be happy to see him, will take him into his arms, will love him. If Deran moves from his spot, he’s going to find out what Adrian’s real reaction will be, and Deran is scared shitless that it won’t be a positive one.

So he stays away from the beach, smokes some shitty Indonesian brand of cigarettes with more tar than nicotine at a roadside hut that apparently passes as a restaurant. His own bar would’ve counted as a Michelin-star establishment in comparison. He can’t fault their fried rice dishes though, and the beer is okay. The cigarettes truly are awful, but that doesn’t stop him from going through a pack in half a day.

He sees Adrian help a girl up from a surfboard on the sand, seemingly in the middle of beginner’s tutorial. He knows he’s unreasonably jealous of the girl, but he so badly wants to feel Adrian’s touch again. They’re too far away for Deran to really see their faces, but Adrian’s stance is easy and relaxed.

The first day Deran was here, when he first saw Adrian again, he was so close to rushing out, to beg for forgiveness, to ask for comfort. But he’d gotten close enough to see Adrian smile carefree, hear his laughter and he’d just stopped. In a second, before Adrian could spot him, Deran had run to hide behind some trees. He’d stood with his hands on his knees and had felt like retching.

You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

He’d found a hostel to catch his breath at, then he’d started staking out the beach. For nearly three days now, he’s followed Adrian around, plagued with doubt and guilt. Is he really going to do this again, ruin Adrian’s life? What if he is happy? What if he is glad Deran isn’t in his life anymore? What if he loves someone else? Deran is going mad not talking to him, letting him know that he’s there. But he’s also so scared Adrian will turn away, and then Deran really won’t have anyone or anything left. He’s absolutely terrified of that outcome.

He’s also kind of happy, almost relieved. Adrian seems to have a job at some sort of establishment that is not only a bar but also offers surfing, scuba diving, fishing trips and plain old swimming lessons. Adrian’s left in the evenings for the same building that looks to be tiny apartments for the local workers in the tourist industry. Adrian’s talked to some randoms on the beach and people that must be his co-workers. Deran can’t tell if he looks happy, but from the outside, it does look like he’s got his shit together and isn’t strung out sleeping on the sand. Deran could leave now, without ever speaking to Adrian, and convince himself that Adrian is in a good place and will live happily ever after. Knowing that Adrian is alright, won’t that be worth a life of misery for Deran?

Deran’s spent nearly a year in utter hell. He’s grieved, drunk, robbed and fought his way across most of Latin America, the whole time wondering if there even was a reason to keep going. But every time he went down that dark, deep hole, he’d end up seeing Adrian, imagine being back in bed with him in their home, hear Craig say that’s the happiest he’s ever seen Deran. Fucking Craig. Of course his dead asshole brother is the one to not let Deran give up, and he uses Adrian to do it. The Codys can’t stop emotionally manipulating people even when they’re dead.

He spends most of the day in the same seat, one that has a view over the beach, where he can keep tabs on Adrian even if he’s mostly just a small figure walking between the bar and the ocean. Looks like he’s some sort of waiter for most of the afternoon. Deran wonders if he should go over there, order a Mai Tai and see what happens. Maybe it’s the sun, the glittering ocean, or the fact that he doesn’t feel like he needs to keep looking over his shoulder, but Deran’s thoughts actually turn somewhat optimistic. Adrian’s not like him, he’s not an asshole. If Deran goes over there, Adrian will at least talk to him, will offer him somewhere to stay. Maybe he’ll be able to finally make Deran exhale the breath he’s been holding since Craig died in his arms.

Adrian’s been inside for nearly an hour and Deran is close to going over there just to see what the fuck he’s doing, when Adrian comes back out from the wooden building, surrounded by a couple of other people. They’re all carrying something long and unwieldy and Deran actually stands up and does a doubletake when he sees them joining a group of other people on the beach, folding out what is apparently yoga mats on the sand. Deran laughs to himself. No fucking way. They used to make so much fun of the millennial hippies that did yoga on the beach, now Adrian is one of them?

Deran can’t help it, he’s amused and just a little curious at how bendy Adrian is, so he leaves a wad of cash on the table and walks closer. He makes sure to stay somewhat hidden, though he’s not sure Adrian would recognize him with his shorter, dyed dark hair and the huge aviator shades he has on.

Adrian looks good on the mat. He’s not as agile as some of the others, but he can hold the poses fine. He can’t be a newbie becuase his body flows from one movement to the next without interruption. His raggedy tank top keeps sliding up and down his torso, and Deran is finally close enough to see that Adrian still has a nice body. Deran’s body has more scars and bruises than ever. He’s got new ink too, to remind him of his brothers.

The yoga session lasts for half an hour. People roll up their mats afterwards, dispersing slowly. Adrian talks to the guy who was teaching the class. Deran’s moving before he’s really aware of it. He walks out onto the sand, has tons of it inside his Vans after just a few steps. He runs a hand through his hair and takes off his shades.

“Hey,” Deran says when he’s close enough.

Adrian looks over. He doesn’t react at first, then his eyes go huge and he looks around in confusion before focusing back on Deran, “Deran?”

“Yeah,” Deran stops a few paces away from Adrian, not sure if he’s welcome closer.

The guy Adrian was talking to takes the hint and walks away, leaving Deran and Adrian relatively alone on the strip of sand.

“Are you…” Adrian trails off.

“I’m sorry,” Deran says. He’s thought through this conversation a hundred times in the last years, but he’s woefully underprepared for it. Seeing Adrian up close, noticing how the sun has made his hair more red, the white rings around his eyes where he must use sunglasses, and the many freckles on his face and arms, it does things to Deran’s body and his head.

“I…” Adrian starts. He takes a step closer, “What’s… Deran.”

Deran’s eyes well up, and he can’t hide it in time, and suddenly Adrian’s arms are around him, wrapping him up in his warmth, making him feel cared for for the first time in forever. He’s had sex with people in the last year, but he’s barely let anyone touch him, not really.

Adrian’s arms are as strong as ever, and they feel so right around Deran’s sides. His hands run up and down Deran’s back, while he whispers comforting nonsense into Deran’s ears. Deran just cries harder at that, he was the one to send Adrian away, to destroy what they had together, and now he’s the one making Adrian take care of him. Adrian shouldn’t have to deal with Deran’s shit, his stupidity, his everything.

“I’m sorry,” Deran says again, voice thick with emotions, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, fuck, I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.”

“Shouldn’t have come?” Adrian pulls back, but Deran throws his arms around him, forces him into a death grip. “Deran, I’ve been waiting for this day for years.”

“You have?” Deran asks, surprised. He looks up, meets Adrian’s eyes. They seem sad, worried. Deran wonders if it’s because of his current crying, or because of everything else.

Adrian swallows, searches Deran’s face, “For so long, I’ve just wanted to see you again. I had so much to say to you. But ever since I heard about Pope, about the breakout, I’ve just wanted to know that you’re okay. I’ve just wanted…”

 It’s Adrian who cries now, his voice breaking as he puts his head on Deran’s shoulder.

“I’m okay,” Deran says, a hand sliding up into Adrian’s hair, “I’m okay. I promise. I’m sorry. Fuck, I missed you so much. Can we, can we go somewhere?”

“Yeah, uh, shit,” Adrian makes a noise like he’s keeping snot from Deran’s t-shirt. “I gotta, uh, clear out from work, but I’ve got a place not far from here, hang on.”

When Adrian pulls away to reach for his yoga mat, Deran feels physically ill. He doesn’t want to let go, he wants to keep touching Adrian forever. They were never ones to hold hands or some such, but now Deran reaches out without hesitation. It’s not ‘til he’s got Adrian’s hand squeezed in his that he realizes it might not be welcome, so he pulls his hand back. He’s too scared to look Adrian in the eye, the fear of rejection suddenly on the forefront of his mind. But then Adrian’s fingers tangle around his, and the vice around Deran’s heart loosens slightly.

They walk hand in hand, and Deran tries to feel like no one’s watching. They probably aren’t.

“Uh, my name’s Johnny here,” Adrian says quietly. “You?”

“Mark. Mark Smith.”

Adrian laughs, “So we’re gonna be Marky and Johnny? Perfect.”

Deran’s heart skips a beat at the insinuation that they’ll be anything together. He knows absolutely nothing has been said or decided yet, not really. “First person to call me Marky, I’ll beat the fuck up.”

“I bet you will,” Adrian mutters. “Some people call me Joe. Stay here.”

Deran waits outside while Adrian goes into the building, which Deran can finally tell has a seating area but also a large reception area where different corners are reserved for different activities. Adrian starts by heading towards the regular training area to leave the yoga mat, and then goes to the surf area. Deran watches as Adrian exchanges a few words with a guy who looks as much a Westerner as Adrian and Deran. Despite the fact that they’re in a smaller, out-of-the way town, there seems to be more tourists and ex-pats than Indonesians.

A couple of minutes later, Adrian comes back out. He doesn’t reach for Deran’s hand and Deran doesn’t dare make a move of his own. He does walk a lot closer to Adrian than needed, their shoulders constantly brushing. He takes comfort in the fact that Adrian doesn’t move away. Deran knows it’s just over five minutes to the building Adrian lives in, but he lets Adrian tell him about it on the way over there, and about how it’s building where mostly season workers from all over the world stay for the weeks or months they’re in town. Adrian’s lived there for over a year, it’s him and two Germans that make up the old guard by now.

It's a one-room apartment, a bed off to the side, a small kitchenette near the entrance where a table is cluttered with dirty dishes. There’s a bathroom and a wall of glass windows that look out over the beach. It’s not cozy, and it’s not a home. It’s just somewhere to stay.

“Home, sweet home,” Adrian sighs, picking up a hoodie from the floor and throwing it onto the bed. He turns around, studies Deran for a moment. “Come here.”

Adrian’s barely said the words before Deran’s back in his arms, the tears spilling out again without his permission. He thought he was done crying, that he didn’t have tears left. He’s spent so many days since he first sent Adrian away with puffy, red eyes, a splitting headache and bone deep tiredness. But here he is, breaking all over again. Adrian’s crying too, Deran absently notes. It’s not the body wracking, heaving sobs that Deran can’t seem to stop, but silent, small tears.

Adrian guides them to the bed, and they lie there for long minutes, arms around each other and legs tangled. It’s warm, a sticky heat in the room that isn’t helped by them lying so close. Deran feels disgusting with tears and snot all over, but he also feels amazing because Adrian’s fingers are rubbing the side of his neck, and he’s kissing Deran’s forehead.

“What happened?” Adrian asks quietly when Deran’s finally calmed down. “I heard about Pope, Jess told me. But she could never find out about you, or Craig.”

“Craig’s dead.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Deran’s not ready to tell the whole story. “J fucked us over. He took all the money and left us all for dead.”

“He did?” Adrian shifts around, leaning up on his elbow. Something on Deran’s face must tell him to not push for more, because he clams up, looks away.

“I should’ve gone with you. I should’ve gone fucking with you. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” Deran turns his head away, wonders if it will ever stop hurting.

Adrian doesn’t say anything. But he has a hand on Deran’s side, and where his t-shirt rides up, Adrian’s thumb is pressed against his skin.

“Where have you been since then?” Adrian asks eventually.

“Trying to get here,” Deran says, voice raspy. “Didn’t have any money, didn’t know if I could use the passport I had, didn’t know if J was coming for me, had to stay away from the heat for a long fucking time. Shit was… fuck.”

“And now? Is anyone coming for you?”

Deran shakes his head, “Nah. I’ve got nothing, and with everyone else dead, nobody is gonna spend time and effort on me. I doubt even the feds are looking for me.”

“Yeah,” Adrian lies back down. “Keep it that way, okay? Whatever you end up doing here, don’t let it be crime. The prisons here, they’re no joke. I could probably get you a job at the bar. Oh, Soran would be glad to have some muscle on weekends for the nightclub. You can’t beat people up too much, though, no cops, remember.”

Deran blinks, “I can – you want – I can stay?”

“Yeah. You can stay. I don’t know how we’re gonna… I don’t know. But you can stay. I’m not gonna let you leave. Not ‘til I know what I want.”

Deran’s the one to shift then, leaning over Adrian, “Do you… do you still… feel that way, about me?”

“Like I hate you? I’ve hated you so much, for so long. When I heard about the breakout, and I never got any news about you, I guess I stopped. There was no point hating you any longer. Worried instead.”

“What about the other way?” Deran asks, because that was what he really wanted to know. He’s been clinging on to the slight possibility that things might not be a messy dark chaos for the rest of his life.

Adrian looks pained, “Have you ever stopped?”

Deran frowns.

“Feeling that way about me,” Adrian clarifies.

Deran leans in. Adrian has never, ever, been more beautiful. Deran says it quietly, almost a murmured prayer, “I love you. Always.”

Adrian closes the distance, kisses him with dry lips that taste amazing through the beer, cigarettes, sand and ocean water. When he pulls back, he sighs. “You don’t have to like someone to love them.” He pulls on Deran’s short hair, “I’ll like you a lot better when you’re blond again. I don’t know about this look on you.”

Deran laughs in surprise, “I don’t like it either. It was just for the trip.”

“I know,” Adrian says. He puts a hand on Deran’s cheek, like he knows Deran needs all the physical comfort he can get after going without for so long. Maybe Adrian needs it too. “Yeah, I feel that way about you, still. I don’t know if it matters or where it leaves us, but yeah. I love you.”

Deran’s heart doesn’t burst into fireworks, he doesn’t feel elated or weak in the knees. He just feels like a part of him is stitching itself back together, and it feels unexpectedly good. He keeps eye-contact with Adrian, the two of them stuck inside a bubble of uncertainty and hesitation. They’re gonna need so much time, and so many words.

“Well, then. I guess we should see about that job at the bar.” Deran says. He curls up against Adrian, “Tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Adrian slides his arm around Deran’s side, “Tomorrow.”

[what-i-call-men]

Jiggle physics

Jeff Pfister x female!reader

Warnings: SMUT, dominant reader, sub Jeff, some degradation towards Jeff, a bit of voyeurism at the end (reader finds out mutt saw the whole thing)

Request: My fic thought for the night (up for grabs) but it’s Jeff pfister. Reader is a dancer/instructor and Jeff studies her for “jiggle physics”. Thought is definitely a smut

One again I am stealing a picture from @copy-of-a-cheeto because I love the icons they make. Thank you!!

Also thank you to @divineruler for proof reading

It was another day for you to begin with. You were working at a small gym in town after your other job hadn't really worked out. You were freshly graduated from college and needed somewhere to work while you looked for other opportunities, a gym was your best option. Now you weren't an avid gym person, but you did enjoy dancing so you ended up instructing a Zumba class. It was more of a hip hop class because your gym was right near a college town, and early 00s Spanish didn't reach college kids as much as hip hop and rap music.

This week you had specifically scheduled a dirty Thursday class, uncensored music and a lot of confidence boosting music. You were doing your last few songs, pushing everyone to their "sexy limits" as you put it. You had stripped off your tank top, now just in your sports bra and leggings. When you were stripping off your top, you had a few of your regulars whistle or cheer, some even joining you as they knew the choreography. You ended your last high energy song and started your cool downs, opting to leave the shirt off as you were definitely sweating right now.

The slow sounds of Just the two of Us by Grover Washington jr played through the speakers as you instructed your class to stretch out. As you faced them, you couldn't help but catch a glance of blonde hair from outside the glass doors to the room. It looked familiar but you couldn't put your finger on it as you continued your instruction. After you finished your cool down, you moved to gather your things as some of the students chatted with you. One of your best friends had walked out to run to the locker room and came back, running up to you and pinching your arm a bit. "You'll never guess who is outside looking for you." She whispered so others wouldn't hear.

Turning to her you rubbed the now pained part of your arm and raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Um I don't know, Ryan Reynolds ready to sweep me off my feet?" You asked and reached down to pick up your gym bag and tank top, choosing to toss it in the bag rather than putting it on. Your friend followed you out of the classroom with the rest of the remaining class. "No, it's fucking Jeff and Mutt from high school." She whispered and nodded to the front desk where they stood, talking to a receptionist. You looked at them for a second.

"And they have those same dumb haircuts from when they were 12." You choked back a quiet laugh as you approached the front desk. Mutt saw you first and then elbowed Jeff to look up at you. "Hey boys, long time no see." You said and walked up to the pair, holding out your membership card to the front desk people to clock you out. "What warrants such an abrupt visit from the resident horny weeb club." You said and led the boys out, your friend keeping a close distance behind the group.

"Hey y/n, can we talk to you alone? We have a job offer for you?" Mutt said and glanced at your friend. You stopped outside the gym and nodded to your friend to go to the car you shared. "What job could you two possibly have for me? Last I heard you guys were just trolling random people online and spam liking my Instagram pictures." You said and crossed your arms. You weren't really friends with the two in high school, but you did have a friendly teasing relationship with them, rather than really making fun of them like others did. You were really only nice because you never knew who'd end up going crazy, and you'd rather not be on someone's shit list.

"We recently ran into... a lot of money. And we wanted to hire you at our robotics company." Jeff said and gestured excitedly at you. He definitely was on something from the way he had a shake to his hands. "Uh... you two know I majored in archeology? I don't know the first thing past how to google." You said and looked mainly at Jeff. God if he didn't have that stupid haircut still, you'd be tempted to say he got hot. He's got a pretty good body and he looked pretty good in comparison to Mutt. It would help him a lot if he didn't still dress and look like he was 12.

"We're aware. It has nothing to do with your degree. Here, this is what you'd make if you come to work for us." Mutt grabbed a card from his pocket and a pen that hung from your bag pocket. When he handed you the paper you had to blink at the numbers for a second. "Annually?" "Weekly" Jeff corrected your question. You stared at the paper for a second. "How do I know you guys aren't just high or something? How'd you even find me?" You asked and Mutt and Jeff looked at each other before Jeff grabbed his keys from his pocket. He clicked the unlock button and a Rolls Royce beeped from where it was parked only a few spots away from where you stood. "If you're interested come pay us a visit." Mutt pointed at the business card he had handed you and the two walked to the car before you could say anything.

When you got home of course you researched the company name on the card. Kineros Robotics had made actual headlines and pictures of the men were on different sites about their sudden influx of money to their company from a generous anonymous donation. You glanced at the card and pursed your lips before pulling up Instagram, going to Jeff's page, glancing at the pictures he's posted and biting your lip. God you could really tell he was either still a virgin or very submissive in some sense. He wasn't like any of the gym bros that hit on you or messaged you. With a small surge of courage, you hit the 'message' button and typed out a quick text.

After messaging back and forth about the job opportunity for about two days, you found yourself standing outside the main entrance to the robotics lab. You walked down the hall to see glass doors and just a buzzer. You buzzed and were quickly let in. "You guys should get a receptionist or someth-" your words were cut off when you saw what was really in the room. There were humanoid robot figures and a lot of latex parts just laying around. A lot of these parts were tits or asses, all different shapes and sizes but there seemed to be something off with all of them.

"Hey I'm glad you made it. You can set yourself up in the room over there." Mutt said as he stared down at his computer. The room was all white, some windows around but pretty much all of them had shade covering them with little to no light peeking through. There was a pile of white powder sitting at each desk. Oh so they were coked out and making sex dolls. What the actual fuck did this have to do with you? "Set my stuff up...?" You asked softly and Jeff stood from his desk to lead you to the room.

"I didn't tell you what you were here for?" He asked as he opened the door to the next room. You shook your head and looked at the hardwood floor and speaker set up. "We need you to be a model. See... our last few latex prints came out... less than desirable- jiggle wise. Our math was way off and we need these to be as real as possible." Jeff said and walked to a small cabinet in the corner of the room. "I need you to put this on so we can monitor your motions to make our robots more realistic." He said and handed you what was barely any cloth. It looked like those dotted suits superheroes wore so their suits could be cgi but instead of a suit it was a bikini top and what is pretty much a skimpy pair of bottoms that were basically bathing suit bottoms with how little they covered.

"Jeff, you didn't mention this." You said and took the clothes slowly as he headed back out to the door. "Just put those on and I'll be back in a few." He said and glanced over your body again quickly before closing the door. You decided to send a quick text to your best friend- just a "here's what I'm doing in case I get murdered" text. After that you slipped the clothes on and stared at yourself in the mirror beside the little cabinet. You could tell this was a makeshift dance room. That was probably what they were looking for. Good thing jiggle physics was your thing in class.

Jeff came back a couple minutes later with a laptop in his hands. He stopped and gulped when he looked over your body in the skimpy outfit, quickly opting to sit on the ground as he monitored the points on the laptop. "Go ahead." He said and positioned the laptop on his lap, having to adjust himself a bit a couple of times. "Jeff... I need music." You said and moved to grab your phone, nodding to the speaker system, him shrugging and letting you do so. As you leaned over the speaker you glanced in the mirror beside you and he was very much staring right at your ass. God if he wasn't such a virgin you'd probably be disgusted. That was probably why they didn't know the right jiggle physics for a woman's body.

You started playing some of your best twerk music, trying to shake off how weird it was to have just Jeff staring at his computer then back to you as you danced. You tried to just close your eyes and get into the choreography as you ignored the awkwardness of Jeff obviously having a boner and you just twerking for him to collect data. You did a few hip swirls and then some quick shakes, glancing at yourself in the mirror. Honestly as you looked you didn't realize you had given Jeff a perfect look of your ass. He ran a hand through his hair as the song began to wrap up. You went to your phone to change the song and decided to strike up a small conversation.

"So… are you getting good data?" You asked and just got a simple nod from Jeff, his stupidly cute bowl cut bobbing back and forth as he nodded. "So you're making sex robots huh?" You asked as you looked through your playlist nonchalantly bending over a bit to give Jeff a good view of your chest. He once again responded with a nod as you started the next song. It was a bit more sexy than the last one. "Why don't you monitor the jiggle physics of sex then?" You asked as you lowered the volume of the song, starting your choreography, which included some moves where you're on the ground, shaking and bouncing as if you were riding someone. "I'm sure they are more accurate than me dancing." You said as you pushed yourself down to the ground chest first with your ass up and facing Jeff.

He adjusted a bit and you moved yourself a bit closer to where he was seated as he chose not to answer you. "If you want more accurate results Jeff, you need the jiggle physics of sex." You stated and gently moved the computer off his lap, placing it on the ground as you gently moved to straddle his legs. "The reason you and Mutt can't get the math right is because you need to really experience a woman's body during sex and neither of you could rope in a girl to fuck you for science. Am I right?" You asked Jeff as you leaned into him, settling yourself on his lap. His face was so red as his eyes kept flicking from your chest to your face. He just nodded silently to your question.

"Jeff, I'm gonna need you to verbally respond to me. I want to hear you say it." You said and ran your hands from his shoulders and down his chest. He took a deep shaky breath. "Fu- I need you to fuck me for science." He said softly and looked up to you as you tutted at him.

"No honey, the other thing." You said and pushed your fingers under the hem of his shirt. He gulped and took in another breath. "I can't get anyone to fuck me. Please y/n I need you." He pretty much whimpered under you as you pushed up to the balls of your feet, leaning forward and beginning to shake your ass a bit from where you sat on his lap. You rolled your hips slowly forwards and pushed your chest against his, leaning up next to his ear. "That's better." You whispered and then left a small wet kiss under his ear. Slowly working down his neck in small wet kisses and sucks.

You could feel his body tense as you reached down between you and gently palmed at him. God you could tell how hard he was without looking. You smirked a bit and continued to suck small hickies on his neck and under his ear as you quickly undid his button and fly, grabbing his dick from his boxers. Wow if you would've known he was packing you probably would've slept with him in high school, but everyone just assumed he wasn't and that was why he didn't get girls. You pumped him slowly and you could hear him let out small moans and whimpers, wanting to stay quiet on the off chance Mutt heard over the music.

As you pumped him you gently bit his earlobe to get his attention. "If you wanna get inside me baby, you gotta help me out." You said quietly and he nodded and willingly let you take his hands and place them on your ass. He gave a small gentle squeeze and you smirked as you felt him twitch in your hand. "God... fuck... holy shit..." he muttered as you rolled your hips against his thighs, wanting to at least stimulate yourself a little bit.

"You wanna make sure my monitoring is ok baby?" You whispered and he glanced over at the laptop, still reading the outfit you wore. You grabbed his cock again, now moving yourself to push your bottoms to the side. Slowly sinking down on to him, you could've sworn Jeff came right then. And he did. But that wasn't going to stop you from helping him out for the 'sake of science'. You grabbed his hands and placed them on your waist so as to not interfere with his readings. Slowly you began to bounce on him, feeling all parts of your body begin to bounce. Jeff was letting out the most sinful noises. Honestly it sounded like he only knew what moaning was from women in porn, but you didn't mind- honestly it was hot to have him be so responsive.

"Oh baby you're gonna be too loud, Mutt might interrupt us and you wouldn't want that would you? Don't want him to find you moaning like a whore for me." You said lowly as you reached up to gently squeeze his throat. He closed his mouth and nodded at you as you continued to bounce on him. God you could tell how close he was to coming again, but lord knows you weren't done with him. His moans got quieter but he still let out small whines from below you. You reached down to rub your own clit as you bounced on top of him. "Fuck baby, you wanna fuck me so bad? How about you get that data you need by pounding me from behind?" You muttered and climbed off of him.

He barely questioned you when you did so, only whining a little at the loss of contact. As you turned around and got on your knees, pushing your ass up in the air, he quickly moved to his own knees, pushing into you and beginning to thrust at a rapid pace. You could definitely tell his knowledge of sex is from video games and porn because he kinda went wild. He pounded hard and you couldn't help but moan out as he grabbed your waist with a tight grip. After he got a hang on his speed, he reached forwards and pulled you up, pushing you against the mirrored wall he had been leaning against, he paused momentarily to undo the bikini top, and as soon as it dropped to the ground he was grabbing your tits from behind.

You pushed back against him, your face now pushed against the foggy mirror as he thrusted into you hard. "Fuck.... fuck y/n." He grunted out quietly as his thrust became more sporadic and sloppy. You could tell he was gonna come again, so you reached behind your head and grabbed his hair firmly. "You're not coming again until I cum. You fucking hear me?" You groaned as he continued to thrust into you. He nodded and reached around in front of you, fumbling for your clit for a moment before you corrected his hand placement and showed him the correct movement. He rubbed quickly and in pace with his thrusts, you could tell from his look in the mirror that he was trying so hard not to cum.

As soon as you finally reached the edge, you let out a loud and pretty pornographic moan of his name mixed with some swearing and praises. "God... fuck Jeff you feel so good in me. I want you to cum baby. I want you to cum in me baby." You thrusted back on him and kept your hand firmly tugging at his hair. It was only seconds before he was coming in you, his own face twisted in pleasure as you looked at him through the mirror. He slowed to a stop and slowly removed himself from you. You only caught your breath for a couple moments before there was a knock on the door.

"Hey those were good readings, we're gonna need you here again tomorrow so we can get some other position readings." Mutt called through the door. You looked at Jeff. "Could he see the reading the whole time?" You asked Jeff quietly. He bit his lips and nodded. "I assumed you knew because you saw this room through the glass when you walked in." Jeff said and pointed to the mirror which was in fact a one way mirror you had seen walking in from the lab, which you falsely assumed was a window because of the shade. "So mutt saw the whole thing?" You asked softly, slowly piecing everything together. Jeff nodded, scared you were gonna be upset. You only shrugged and reached over to gently grab his throat again. "Guess now he knows how good of a whore you are for me then." And god if he hadn't just come, Jeff probably would've come again from that action alone. Damn you were gonna have fun working here.

[capricorn-stark]

Unexpected Encounters

pairing: dick grayson x reader, first encounter

warning: n/a

a/n: yeah I got nothing, pretty casual fic

part 2

Bludhaven was a city so miserable, it could give Gotham a run for its money any day of the week. 

You would know - after having lived in Gotham for most your life, only to end up relocating to Bludhaven for your job, you could whole-heartedly say that Bludhaven made you long for your dark, perpetually rain-drenched city. The place was practically like Gotham’s Crime Alley - if Crime Alley had been expanded to a house an entire city of people.

One of the biggest differences between the two, however, was that there was no silent guardian preventing the crime rate from steadily crawling upwards with each passing hour, no Dark Knight in the form of some stranger dressed up in a bat costume to save his citizens from killer clowns and watered-down furries in penguin costumes. In Bludhaven, you would simply manage to survive on your own, or you would get mugged and end up at the bottom of its polluted harbor for some poor soul to find weeks later. 

And that was simply how life was. 

Granted, those kind of thoughts definitely were not offering you comfort as you walked down the streets of Bludhaven yourself, keys between your fingers and the feel of your gun concealed in your other hand as you kept carefully drifting beneath the lights of the dying streetlamps, cautious of directing any sort of attention to yourself. You had missed your bus home after working a bit too late, and you couldn’t exactly wait around for the next one to arrive in another two hours. 

Luckily for you, you saw no real dangers tonight. 

Maybe, for once, it would be a quiet trip home. 

Naturally, you were immediately proven wrong.

You were a generally cautious person, as anyone who grew up in a city like Gotham had to be in order to survive there at all. You were careful of your surroundings, who you talked to, who you ran into, and where you walked. You were in no way stupid enough to go into a random alleyway because it just so happened to be a conveniently located “short-cut”. Ever.

You were smarter than that.

But you hadn’t noticed the presence of a man in a dark and worn hood trailing behind you for what, as far as you knew, could’ve been quite some time now, formerly concealed in the crowds you had walked through. He was only a few feet away from you now, his steps quickening ever so slightly when he noticed you catching sight of him in the window of a passing store. You remembered that you had seen that same man nearly five minutes prior a few blocks before. 

That, as anyone could’ve guessed, was definitely not a good sign. 

The crowds were thinning as you edged closer to your part of the city, fewer and fewer people lining the stores and alleys, with even fewer who looked like they would help you if you happened to need it. You couldn’t exactly dart into the nearest corner store and expect him to leave you alone, there was a much higher chance of him simply leaving your line of sight altogether and reappearing when you finally stepped outside. If you tried to book it, you were more than certain that a man that size could easily catch up.

The last option you had was a confrontation, but living in places like this for as long as you had, you were sure it could escalate immediately and leave you in a much, much worse situation. You had a gun, but you couldn’t gauge how effective it would be if he happened to have one himself, and this was Bludhaven. 

Everyone had a gun.

So, all your options were bad. You felt your grip around your gun tighten anyways as you walked faster, cursing under your breath as you noticed him doing the same behind you. Your heart was racing now, breath quickening as you tried to tell yourself that you were almost home, that you just had one more block to go before- 

“Excuse me, ma’am. Are you alright?” 

You looked up at the source of the new voice that had gotten you to stop in your tracks and meet a pair of bright blue eyes. The man in front of you offered you a reassuring smile as he tapped the badge on his uniform.

Bludhaven Police Department. 

“Someone bothering you?”

You turned your head to look back at where the man following you had been, only to feel a chill run down your spine as you realized he had disappeared into the shadows of the city, as if he hadn’t been there at all.

“I thought-” You cut yourself off, still staring at the people milling around left and right. “I thought there was someone-” He seemed to notice how shaken you were immediately, tearing his gaze away from the crowd and finally settling back to you, lips curving into another soft smile. Despite everything, it was strangely comforting to see.

“If it makes you feel better, I can walk you to your destination.” You couldn’t bring yourself to decline when your heart was still racing in your chest, so you managed a nod. The man pulled his jacket around him as he moved to fall into step alongside you after one last look into the crowds. “You’re sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah, I am now,” you brushed off, wrapping your own jacket a little closer around your body as you made yourself fixate your gaze on the path ahead. Your fingers were hurting from the previous clutch of your keys. The gun had finally been fully tucked away. “Thanks, Detective-” You cut yourself off to get a closer look at his ID. “Grayson?” 

“Richard,” he offered with another smile, glancing at you in turn. “Well, I go by Dick, but-” he caught sight of your expression and laughed, shaking his head. “Richard’s fine, too.” You felt your face burn red and you tried to clear your throat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s all good, I get it a lot. Can I ask for yours?” You chuckled a little before introducing yourself to him, shaking your head dismissively when he commented that it suited you. 

“Am I making you leave your post or something?” Dick waved that off immediately, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Nah, I’m just patrolling this area tonight. I was about to head into the café down the street for some coffee when I saw you, and I thought you seemed a little alarmed.” His tone was even but kind, and it was easy for you to tell that he had been in this type of situation a million times before. “If you need anything, medical assistance, filing a report, I can take care of that.” 

You nodded slightly again, taking another deep breath as you felt your panic finally subside. His presence was comforting, and you were glad he was with you for the rest of the walk home. You still couldn’t bring yourself to think about what might’ve happened if he hadn’t shown up. 

You wouldn’t be missing the bus again any time soon, that was certain.

“I was just surprised,” you finally started, feeling a twinge of embarrassment creep up your face for no apparent reason. As if you were the one who should’ve been more careful. “I didn’t see him - I guess I wasn’t as careful as I thought I was.” 

“Don’t think that’s on you, because it wasn’t your fault,” he started at once, apparently having been able to read your mind. “Creeps like that are running around all over this place, you can’t expect to see all of them coming. I’m just glad you’re alright.” You nodded again, pulling the jacket a little tighter before you sneaked another glance up at him. 

You hadn’t exactly seen much of what he looked like beneath the dingy light of the streetlamps, but as you edged towards your apartment complex, you could finally see his face beneath the brighter lighting. 

You noticed the striking blue eyes first, of course, accompanied by strong, defined features, jet black hair, and a surprising look of youthfulness despite the fact that he had sounded like he’d be a bit older. The light crinkles by his eyes told you he was the kind of person who tended to smile a lot. 

Clearly, he was very, very handsome.

“I’m actually pretty new to this whole gig,” he commented as he scanned around the street you were on, snapping you out of your not-so subtle staring. “Moved from Gotham a few months ago, found a job with the BDP. They definitely appreciated having new hires around, with the state this city’s in.” 

“So did I,” you blurted out in surprise, causing him to raise a brow at you. “Not working with the BDP - but I moved here a few months ago, too, from Gotham. I lived there my whole life.” 

“Well, look at that,” he laughed, seeming rather incredulous but certainly pleased at the finding. “I guess we have that in common. Some move, huh, thinking Gotham’s about as bad it gets before getting smacked with Bludhaven?” You actually laughed at that in turn, nodding in agreement.

“No super-people flying around to save the place, either. Tragic.” 

“I’m sure one’s gonna show up around here eventually,” he dismissed, following you when you motioned towards your building in the distance. “If there’s any place that needs some of them around, it’s here.”

“As what, Bludhaven’s version of Batman?” you deadpanned, imagining what things would be like if another man in a bat costume started running around and beating up street-thugs. At least the crime rates might dip. “As long as he doesn’t come with more psychotic clowns, I guess we could use one. Even if that means changing my insurance plan to fit him in.” 

“Better safe than sorry,” Dick agreed, corners of his lips twitching into another almost mischievous grin that caused your face to redden in the dark. “Doesn’t have to be another Batman, maybe it’ll be someone new.”

“As long as they take care of the city, I think I won’t care who it is,” you decided with another light chuckle, stopping in front of your building and looking up at him. “I just hope they’ll be cut out for the job.” He stopped in front of you with another smile, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see, huh?” You found yourself mirroring the action, feeling rather amused by the statement.

“I guess we will.”

The brief moment of silence between you was interrupted by him clearing his throat, moving to grab the handle of the door for you at the same time you tried to do it yourself, ending with the both of you promptly colliding apologizing profusely while backing away from the door altogether. 

“Sorry, I didn’t - sorry-” he cut himself off by reaching out to pull the door open for you again with an awkward laugh, not unlike your own. “I hope I’ll see you around here on a better note,” Dick finalized with one last apologetic grin, letting you slip past him and into the building. 

“You mean when I’m not speed-walking away from creeps running around Bludhaven?” you chuckled in response, shouldering your bag off-handedly. “Definitely, I agree. Thank you, Dick.” 

He made a show of dramatically tipping his hat towards you before turning on his heel, still smiling to himself. 

“Pleasure’s mine.” 

[akumaalert]

Snippet of “Awake” - First Chapter of “Divergence”

Hey, all! Wanted to share a snippet of the first chapter (”Awake”) of “Divergence” - a fic that will offshoot from “Heavy Metal Lover.” Note that this is basically a whole spoiler for chapter 20 of “Heavy Metal Lover.” If you’re like me and see random stuff saying “Don’t click if you haven’t read...” and click anyway: Hi! Welcome, chaos lover. If you like this and want to know the context, please feel free to check out the full work on AO3.

“Divergence” should be posted within two weeks and will be open to requests for the reader (”Lucky”) to have different experiences than what she has in the original. This can mean the following:

- AUs

- Re-tellings of certain scenes of the original

- Reader-specific details included in old or new/original scenes (i.e., reader is plus sized, skinny, tall, short, etc.)

- Genderbending of any of the characters

Originally made this Tumblr to share snippets of the stories on...so happy that I could finally do that! If you want to skip writing that was in the story, you can start at “Though sleep pulled at your eyelids...”

Story contains mature elements, swearing, and explicit mention of sex. Please be forewarned.

Looking back, it would only be a wonder that it did not occur sooner.

As soon as you were alone in the bedroom, you took off your shoes and eyed the clothes Heisenberg had provided you from the factory...

...before turning to the tub.

Couldn't hurt to bathe. Love to be clean. 

That man is coming back up to this bedroom.

This is the point, self.

The logical side of your brain, for once, remained quiet. 

Though you had clearly lost all sense of sensibility, you at least moved the divider to completely block the tub from any but the most determined of views. 

The water had been scalding when you got in.

By the time you had bathed and decided that your foolishness had reached its limit, it was stark cold.

"This was stupid," you said. "Fucking stupid. What did I want? Him to join me? This is the universe saying 'Wake the fuck up.'"

Though your fingers were pruned, you dried yourself off and pulled a nightgown from the small cupboard beneath the sink.

Sheer as ever. Fuck's sake. The universe had truly saved you.

Until it hadn't.

Heisenberg rushed into the room like a rocket and you jumped as the door slammed close.

"...you here, Luck?"

"Yeah," you called out. "Um...don't come over here...gotta get dressed real quick."

"...k" called Heisenberg.

Wasting no time, you slid the gown over your body and made sure to fan out the edges as far as they would go. 

You needed no mirror to see your nipples proudly displayed through the fabric.

Mouthing a 'fuck' for good measure, you frowned.

"Heisenberg?"

"Yes?"

"Do you...do you mind looking away for a second?"

"From you?"

"Yes."

"...are...are you coming out naked?"

"No," you snapped.

An awkward silence greeted you.

"Heisenberg?"

"Huh?"

"You looking away?"

"Oh. Yeah. You're good now."

Peeking from behind the divider, you only saw Heisenberg's back. 

With more speed than you were familiar with, you bolted to the bed and ducked under the covers.

Once secure beneath the pillowy softness, you breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay. It’s safe."

You did not miss how Heisenberg whirled around.

"Oh...fuck...that was fast."

"Yeah," you said absently.

"Trying to set a fucking record?"

"Something like that."

"Mmn. I...gotta get changed."

"Okay."

The two of you stared at the other.

"You trying to get a free show or you gonna cover those peepers?"

"...I figured you would go behind the divider."

"The divider is on your side of the bed."

"Oh," you said dumbly. "Oh. Yeah...wait."

Yanking the pillow from underneath your head, you smashed it onto your face above your mouth and pressed down.

Heisenberg chuckled. "Dramatic as hell."

"Doing what you asked of me."

"...didn't formally ask you to...did I?"

Swallowing found your throat on fire.

"Mmn."

"What was that?"

"Mmn," you repeated.

"Heh...don't go into public speaking, kid."

You frowned at the ceiling and the darkness of your eyes. 

Instead of speaking, Heisenberg decided to tell you he was done by climbing in the bed beside you. It struck you suddenly that lamps had been placed in the room instead of the candles that the castle was so beset with. But when you removed your pillow, you found yourself met by more muted darkness.

"Sure you okay with this?" asked Heisenberg. "I can fuck off and go into another room. I like to bitch like a drama king, but I don't need anything crazy set up for me."

"Bed is pretty big," you said carelessly. "S'okay. We've been closer."

The chuckle Heisenberg gave was absolutely filthy.

"We have...haven't we?"

The fucking lilt would be the death of you. What a relief it was to blink blindly and stupidly at the man in peace without judgment. 

"Hey - last time I'm reminding you...what's your one job?"

"Get you out in the morning," you replied.

"Because?"

"Ah...generators...production line...something about a reset..."

"That's my girl. Nighty night, Luck."

"Night, Heis."

A turn. A breath. A feeling that you would never be able to sleep with the man so close that you could feel his body heat radiating from him like a welcome sign. 

But you awoke.

You awoke often.

You awoke in the middle of the night from a dream you could barely recall and all the images of Alcina at the forefront of your mind. 

You awoke in Heisenberg's arms and sobbed into his chest as he clung you to him just as sweetly as any of your snowy imaginings. 

"Fuck you doing awake? No...shh...it's okay...shh...you're alright. I'm here. I've got you."

Though sleep pulled at your eyelids, you nudged your head up to feel the spikes of Heisenberg's scruff. You had to stay awake. Could not return to sleep and Alcina awaiting you with her long talons and even longer legs.

"Nightmare?"

You nodded into his neck. 

"Mmn. Have those myself...think you can go back to sleep? Don't think it's quite time for me to leave yet if you just wanna yak about it or something."

Swallowing, you exhaled. "Don't wanna go back to sleep."

With a grunt, Heisenberg sat up to leave you curled on the sheets.

"Just checking the time..."

When Heisenberg turned to pull something from the floor, you noticed that your eyes had somewhat adjusted to the dark. Enough so that you saw the loose movements of his arms and realized that he had gone to bed without a shirt. 

"Fuck...two in the morning..."

"I'm sorry," you said, tensing. But Heisenberg was mumbling and coming back to you with open arms. "Sorry I woke you..."

"S'alright," he said, yawning afterward. "Gotten less sleep and done more stupid things after than make sure the reset doesn't fuck up the factory..."

As he spoke, you could feel one of his hands rubbing up and down your arm a bit too roughly. An awkward and well intended move to comfort you.

"Still...I'm sorry...you need all the sleep you can manage to get. I don't know how much work the whole factory thing will be..."

"Honestly not much as long as I get back in time," he said, hand squeezing your arm for good measure before returning to that same rough rubbing motion. "Could probably even come back here afterwards...heh...that would spook that sixty-foot snake."

You laughed a sleepy laugh and settled further into his grasp.

"Mmn...like a fucking little bunny...cuddling into me and shit..."

"I can stop...pull away..."

Heisenberg's hand stopped rubbing you in favor of clutching you to him.

"Shh...you're talking nonsense. Need some sleep."

"Heis..."

"Shhh..."

"Heis, you can just tell me that you like it when we cuddle."

When he tsked and laid his chin on your head, you smiled. It felt so much like that day at the stronghold.

"Why would I say that? Not in the business of lying to people."

Lying...yes...because what we are doing now is causing you so much distress...

"Well," you said, smiling. "I'll say it then. I like it when we cuddle. Especially in bed. Feels more comfy than cuddling in front of the lycans."

A shiver - as though Heisenberg had been beset by the cold - ran through his body.

"Oof...y'okay?"

"Yeah, yeah..." he said absently. "Uh...actually...we might wanna go to sleep after all..."

"Mmn?"

"Yeah...early morning..."

"You mind if I hold onto you for a while? This...this actually helps from the nightmare."

The only way you knew how to describe Heisenberg in that moment was jittery. His movements were fine on their own but were conducted with such awkward quickness as to be alarming.

When he did not answer you, you looked up at him through the dark.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

A beat of silence and then another.

"Nothing's wrong." Quick words to match his quick movement.

"Heisenberg..."

"It's Heis."

"...you...Heis...something isn't right. Just talk to me. In English, preferably."

What you could only assume was a curse in German fell from his lips.

"I...fuck's sake, buttercup...I don't know how to...if you...this was such a bad idea...so fucking STUPID."

"What?" You paused, gathering enough evidence from his huff. "Sleeping together?"

"Yes."

"It was your idea."

"I FUCKING KNOW THAT, OKAY?" he hissed. "Just...I thought...earlier...it made more sense...this made more sense..."

"Glad something did because I am completely and utterly confused," you admitted. 

"You're confused? You started flirting with me." Heisenberg grumbled something low and rough. "Fucking gave me ideas...false hope...so I thought...guh I'm such a fucking idiot..."

Hope began to fuel you too. Fuel you and feed into the most terrible of terrific ideas.

"Are you...whatever you're trying to say...I was flirting with you. That wasn't false. Honestly...I was in the bathtub just moments before you came in hoping you would join me."

"...you what now?"

You could not help but laugh. The fact that you could not see Heisenberg's expressive face only added to the hilarity as you imagined a hundred different emotions running through that scarred skin.

"I took a bath...a long one...hoping that you would come up here in the middle of it and offer to join me...figured one thing could lead into another and the bed was here anyway..."

The pauses in between Heisenberg's voice could only endear you to him. He seemed every bit lost for words. 

"You...are you talking about...what are you talking about?"

"Sleeping with you," you supplied with a shrug. "What are you talking about?"

"Sleeping...you...ah...I wasn't...I wasn't mistaken? Shit...I...I may or may not have a fucking stiffy over here...because the cuddling is...something you enjoy so much."

"Oh?" you purred. The chance of escaping in the delights of Heisenberg’s body made your body positively teem with anticipation. But you could not forget your own actions...the last time you had seen him in such a vulnerable state. Losing some confidence, you glanced at the darkness of the bed instead of his body. "Umm...I want to touch you...want to...would it be okay if I touched you?"

"Yeah...course. You've touched me before."

"No...I mean...is it...fuck...can I jack you off?"

For a long while, Heisenberg said nothing.

The next thing you heard was a rattling spit.

"OUCH GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER!" he whispered.

"What's wrong?"

"Pinched myself."

"You...why are you pinching yourself?"

"Because I'm clearly fucking awake but clearly dreaming at the same time because yes, I would enjoy that very much. Please. And thank you."

"Are...are you sure?"

Heisenberg's hand came down heavy but without malice on your neck.

"OW!"

"Shit...I was trying to grab your hand."

Providing your hand to his, you hitched a breath when he splayed it against his chest. His heartbeat thudded against your palm. Wrenching your knees upward, you brushed against that heated length between his legs.

"I...um...we should probably talk about boundaries before I do this."

"Huh?"

"Is this...are you okay with me just jacking you off?"

"Just? This is a goddamn holiday. Marking it on the calendar. Nothing little about it."

"Dumbass. That's not what I'm saying," you said, scratching his chest somewhat affectionately to show him that you meant no harm. "Do you...are you wanting anything more? Because I'm on my period...I'm up for it...but it might get messy and I know that's the last mess I want a certain someone finding."

"We...we can do more? More like..." You heard him take in a shaky inhale. "Can we...is like full blown intercourse on the table?"

"Sure...long as you don't call it that again," you said, shaking your head.

Grumbling and tensing his shoulders, Heisenberg whined when you dropped your touch to round one of his nipples.

"What the fuck else am I supposed to call it?"

"Sex. Fucking. Making love," you added jokingly. "Um...ah...you know...I hadn't thought about it, but maybe you genuinely didn't know. German to English...or...ah...Romanian to English. Might not have those words."

"I like making love," he said with certainty in his voice. "Let's do that. Make love."

You had expected him to laugh at that suggestion if he acknowledged it at all. But there he was giddy and practically giggling over the most flowery option he was given. 

"Okay...are there any places that you don't like being touched?"

"Not that I know of," he admitted. "Are there...is there somewhere I shouldn't touch you?"

"Not necessarily...just...no going down on me this time. Sex is one thing-"

"Making love."

"-us um...us making love is fine, but I don't want to get eaten out while my period is going on. And don't show me your dick after or comment on the blood...just...get rid of it. Please. And...and nothing too crazy to start out with. I'm not a prude, but don't want to be choked or anything harsh like that. Just...vanilla for our first go. Then we can see where things take us."

"Roger that! Heard loud and clear," he said, leaning his face to kiss your forehead. For all the lack of a relationship, Heisenberg was making you feel far much more mushy and cared for than your ex ever had. You let your hand round his stomach slow and soft in response.

"Thank you. We...if you want to, I'll jack you off for a bit before you grab the condom."

"The...I don't have one of those."

That made you freeze. 

"Not even in this room? Your chambers? If you don't feel like getting up, I can grab them from wherever they are."

Heisenberg went uncharacteristically quiet.

"Heis?"

"None in this room," he said plainly.

"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable by asking...but...is that typical? You having sex without a condom?"

It worried you. Here you were all too willing to have him fuck you into the mattress while he could be having all sorts of unprotected sex with who knows who in the village. He was attractive - a lord. Anyone with a pair of eyes could easily fall in lust if not love with him. 

Anyone with ears too...fucking sexy ringmaster voice...

"Not typical, no."

"No? Has it just...been a while?"

"Never."

"Huh?"

"Never made love before."

That sent you sitting up in bed.

"WHAT?"

"What?"

"HEISEN..." you lowered your voice, realizing he was growing tense. "You've never...I don't believe you. Quit joking. Not the time."

"Not joking," he grumbled. "Why would I joke about that?"

"You're just..."

"I'm what?"

"You're you," you said as if it clarified anything at all. "You're a lord in a small town. You have a face of a model. Not...not trying to open old wounds, but you're absolutely gorgeous underneath all those layers..."

"Yeah," he snorted. "Fatass McGee will be strutting the runways any day now."

"Oh my god...you're serious." Lying back down, you brought your hand to the clothed length between his legs. He had grown noticeably more soft since the brush of your knee, but you could feel his cock twitch when you cupped him. "So...no one? Not even foreplay or...what about kissing?"

"...ahhh...nah...none of that either...you're probably the first person to see me naked since I was a little kid...well...maybe a few folks in Constantinople. Got sloshed one time and woke up naked tied to a lamppost. But...other than that...all you."

There seemed to be no end to the surprises that would fall from Heisenberg's mouth. You stared at him - or the inky shadow that was him - and ran teasing fingers up his shaft.

"I uhh...fuck...I'm pretty sure anyone who saw me then is dead by now though," he supplied.

"Heis...you're so fucking ridiculous." 

[techno-woman]

WELCOME TO THE FRIEZA FORCE, MY DEAR

(FRIEZA X READER)

::The following story takes place after DragonBall Fighterz villains arc. I do not own any DBZ characters. Enjoy the story!::

It has been over a month since you had returned to your own body after Frieza kicked you out despite you accepting his offer to join him. Honestly you didn’t have much to keep you here on earth anyway since bad luck had a habit of shooting down your spirits. It all started when you had graduated from high school; your dad suffered from a stroke and eventually succumbed to it within two months, your brother was killed in a car crash with your mother two years later, and just recently you had broken up with your boyfriend whom you’ve been dating for four years after finding out that he was cheating on you with another woman. You’ve at least managed to keep your job at a fast food restaurant thanks to your hard working attitude,however; your heart has been closed off since the breakup and you were tired of all the misery in your life so far that it wouldn’t have even mattered if you ended up robbed, murdered or worse.

Then one day you found yourself linked up with Frieza. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how much of an evil prick he was after the way he spoke to you for the first time. He was obviously not a happy camper when he noticed you were controlling his body and not him. Although you couldn’t necessarily blame him since body snatching wasn’t your cup of tea either. Frieza had openly expressed his disgust towards you many times and while his attitude may have annoyed you to no end you somehow oddly find some comfort in it. Perhaps it was because you too had days where you just had to let out your frustrations though it was all in private. You’ve powered through mentally with Frieza because the sting of your ex’s betrayal was still fresh. But working with the tyrant hasn’t been so terrible not when you had experienced his amazing power which would’ve been found in a comic book or a superhero movie. You felt invincible, untouchable almost like a god and you loved it especially the flying part.

The link you had with Frieza had become more stronger with each battle and along the way you encountered Nappa, Captain Ginyu and the Ginyu force, Cell, Goku, Vegeta, Krillin,and the rest of the z fighters. Through them you experienced each of their own unique powers and got along with most of them. Even Frieza was showing subtle signs of him warming up to you which you were grateful for. But deep down you couldn’t help but develop some attachments to the emperor of the universe himself. You weren’t sure if he had felt the same way as you when he had offered you a position in his army after you both took out Android 21 and you knew for a fact that you wouldn’t make a good soldier since part of Frieza’s requirements to joining the Frieza force included strength which you weren’t confident about despite how well you were doing with the link. But of course if it meant that you could start your life anew and leave your misfortune behind then you’d gladly take it. Then afterwards Frieza had warmly welcomed you to join his forces when Android 21 was taken down at last. You smiled at the thought of being in space looking at the stars and planets while riding in a spaceship boldly going where no human has ever gone before. Suddenly Frieza, Cell, Ginyu and Nappa immediately began charging up when their powers had returned to them, getting ready to attack Goku and the gang and before you knew it Frieza chased you out of his body so he could fight Goku without you holding him back. Devastated and heartbroken at the tyrant’s actions you took to the skies leaving Frieza to exact his revenge on his sayian nemesis.

That was the last time you saw him and you never got to tell him how you felt about him. You shook your head as you headed into work wiping away your tears deciding that you were better off without him anyway. You didn’t have much to offer to a guy like that except for your loyalty and love which you doubted that he would be capable of. Two hours in and the events of last month had already been pushed to the back of your mind as you worked hard cleaning dishes, prepping up food, and sweeping up the floor. The lights flickered faintly above and you thought to yourself that the light bulbs must be starting to give out. You were wiping down the tables when a random guy came up to you in an attempt to flirt with you but you ignored him completely.

“What time do you get off, cutie?” The man asked you.

“Sorry sir but I cannot indulge such information to someone I do not know.” You said with a customer friendly tone which surprised you internally to hear such words coming from your own mouth. Apparently you picked up some of Frieza’s elegant speech pattern while you were linked with him.

The man looked surprised in a happy way. “Fancy way of talking, eh? Then how about you let me take you somewhere fancy to eat after you get off?”

“No thank you.” You said as you started to get irritated with him. The lights above you started to flicker.

“Don’t be like that, baby. I can treat you real nice.” The guy insisted.

“Please sir, I have work to do and I am not interested. Have a nice day.” You told him as you kept your tone friendly while your temper was rising. The lights flickered faster causing several of the staff and customers to look in confusion.

“C’mon don’t tell me that a pretty face like you already has a boyfriend?” Inquired the guy.

Now it was starting to get too personal for your liking as the memories of your ex flowed into your mind like a stream of water. Anger was bubbling up as the flickering lights intensified causing everyone to become concerned and even scared. “That is no concern of yours. Now please leave me alone and have a nice day.” You clenched your teeth as you managed to say in a sweet tone while keeping a grip on your temper. You were getting ready to head back into the kitchen when you felt a hand grab your arm and pulled you back.

“What’s the matter, bitch?” The guy hissed. “You think you’re too good to have a good time with guys like me?” He smelled like he hasn’t bathed in a week and his grip on you grew tighter.

Your coworkers and a few customers saw this and attempted to get him to let you go. But the guy insisted that he was your boyfriend and that it was no one’s business.

“SHUT UP JACKASS! YOU’RE NO ONE TO ME!” You yelled angrily at him and at that same time the lights that were flickering above you exploded. Everyone in the store screamed and covered their heads as glass fell upon them. A fire broke out causing several staff members to grab fire extinguishers and put out the fire.

The customers ran out screaming in panic as you were also running out of the store. You didn’t know what was going on but you did know that this had never happened in the restaurant before. So why now? Sounds of police sirens were drawing close as was the firefighters and you just hoped that no one got hurt. Suddenly you felt arms grabbing you by the waist and you were then carried off by someone.

“Hey! Let me go!” You exclaimed. “Put me down! What do you think you’re doing!”

“It’s just us, human!” Said a familiar gruff yet friendly voice.

You turned to see none other than Captain Ginyu of the Ginyu force. “Ginyu!” You cried as you instantly gave him a hug.

“Don’t forget about us, sheila!” Jeice said happily.

“Hey Jeice, Burter, Recoome, Guldo! It’s great to see you guys again!” You grinned as you saw the rest of the Ginyu force. “But how did you know where to find me?”

Ginyu pointed to the scouter on his face. “We detected your ki with these and by the looks of it your ki skyrocketed to another level!”

You looked at him confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Didn’t you see what had just happened at the restaurant?” Burter asked pointing back to where your job was.

You felt your heart sink as you came to realize what they were talking about. “I did that?”

“You sure did!” Recoome said with a smile.

“But that’s never happened before. I don’t understand why it would happen now.” You said still trying to grasp the reality of the situation.

Ginyu looks at you with a sympathetic expression on his face. “Perhaps it’s because you were linked with Lord Frieza and that his ki has awakened yours.”

You looked up in surprise. “Really?”

“That’s the only explanation that I can think of. But let’s get you to Lord Frieza first.” Ginyu said taking off into the sky with the others.

“So Frieza wants to see me now after he booted me out?” You said in a sarcastic tone.

“My apologies, huma-“

“It’s Y/n.” You interrupted Ginyu.

“Y/n. Please forgive Lord Frieza. He has been humiliated twice by Goku and needed to get his revenge for it.” Ginyu said.

You huffed. “Did he succeeded?”

“All I can say is that it ended in a stalemate.”

“Figures.” You rolled your eyes.

“I don’t mean to speak out sir but is no one going to say anything about y/n here being a woman?” Guldo asked.

“Is there something wrong with that?” You asked with a small smile.

“No. Not at all. Just surprised is all.” Guldo said.

Minutes later aboard Frieza’s ship....

Frieza stood by the window as you entered with the Ginyu force leading ahead.

“Lord Frieza, we’ve brought the human with us.” Ginyu said as he bowed.

“Excellent work, Captain Ginyu.” Frieza said in a happy tone while turning slowly to face you. “It has been awhile my dear. You look so much lovelier in person.” He smiles his usual smile that you had come to recognize as his causal expression.

“You don’t seem surprised that I am a girl.” You said observering him and then noticed his tail wiggling about almost like Frieza was glad to see you in the flesh.

“I had Nappa keep a close eye on you afterwards since Saiyans can be easily passed off as humans when their tails are well hidden that is.” Frieza said as he approached you.

“Well no wonder why Nappa has been absent lately.” Guldo mumbled.

You turned your head to glare at Ginyu and the others. “Scouter my ass. You already knew where I was at, didn’t you?”

“Easy Y/n, we weren’t lying about the scouters picking up your ki level. Besides even with Nappa we aren’t familiar with the city you were living in.” Ginyu said.

Frieza cleared his throat getting your attention back onto him who was directly standing in front of you face to face. “As I was saying; I had ordered Nappa to watch over you after the Android 21 incident. When you left I sensed a slight change in your ki and made a mental note to look into it after I delt with that damned Saiyan Goku.”

“I was told that it was a stalemate.” You said.

Frieza grimaced. “It would not have been such a stalemate if Cell hadn’t tried to steal my glory for the last time.” His tail curled up much like how a fist would ball up in anger.

“Did you....kill him?” You asked.

“No, of course not. Goku’s eldest son already did him in with Maijin Buu.” Frieza said. “But enough of that. I believe we have much to discuss about your future here on the Frieza force.”

“Thanks but there’s a concern that I’d like to address with you. Namely my sudden ki rising. Captain Ginyu said that it was the result of our souls being linked together. Is it true?” You asked.

Frieza watched you before motioning for Ginyu and the others to leave the room. They did so without hesitation and now it was just you and him alone. “Indeed it is as you were told. The slight increase of your ki didn’t happen when you and I first met but after destroying Android 21 was when it changed. I have surmised that while you were linked with me your ki was being amplified by mine thus causing it to grow with each battle we’ve faced. Though it is not as strong as mine it’ll at least give you a bit of an edge to defend yourself with.”

“How long do you think it’ll last?” You asked.

Frieza closed his eyes and sighed in annoyance. “Don’t you understand what this means exactly? I’m saying this is permanent. That this newly awakened ki is what you’ll be living with from now on.”

You were dumbfounded at this. You now had powers of your own and yet you were unsure about how to handle it. Or if you could handle it. “Oh boy.” You covered your face with your hands as you rubbed your eyes with them. “This is a lot to take in.”

“For you I have no doubt that it is.” Frieza said flicking his tail casually. “Fortunately you will have plenty of time getting use to it in my army.”

“I probably might but there’s also the issue of controlling it. Before the Ginyu force picked me up I was getting upset with this one guy trying to make a pass at me and when I lost my temper the lights exploded above us.” You told him.

Frieza hummed with curiosity. “Certain emotions often trigger such power like yours. Perhaps that will be something we can work on together.” His tail then slowly wraps around your waist as he pulls your body into his. “I’m sure that you will find it most enjoyable.”

You blushed at how close you were to him and even more so when his tail pulsed. “Frieza? Just to be honest with you, I’m still upset with you for kicking me out.”

“I had a score to settle with Goku. You of all people should understand that. Especially with the amount of time that we’ve spent together sharing the same body.” Frieza said in a stern tone as he took your chin into his hand. “It’s Y/n, yes?”

You nodded.

Frieza smiled his mischievous and cruel smile. “Welcome to the Frieza force, my dear y/n.”

[kuronanox]

Home is you - Ulquiorra Schiffer

"Hello? Hello~" (Your Name) sings shaking the pale man up from his sleep.

Opening his eyes slowly he blinked a few times looking at his surroundings. "Where am I? Why aren't I in los noches?"

"Jeez you creep! Don't go sleeping around the park like that! I know Japan is safe but I thought you were dead for a second." She says sighing in relief offering a hand.

Ulquiorra slaps her hand away and gets up realizing he wasn't in his uniform but some random t shirt and jeans.

"What have you done women?"

"Me?! I woke you up. That's what I did now, do you have someone you should be? It's getting late."

Looking around he couldn't sense any reistu, he couldn't bring his sword out or use cero. Till he remembered his fight with Ichigo. Ulquiorra remember dissolving into nothing.

"I-I don't understand." He stuttered, frustrated at the emotions he was feeling at the moment. He was lost, why was he here? Was he reborn a human? But why did he remember everything of his past life. 

A salty tear slipped in his lips as he touched his face confused. "Is this the human emotion of feeling frustrated? Feeling hopeless? Powerless?"

"I'm sorry. Do you need a place to stay?" (Your Name) asks more sympathetically watching the man breakdown in front of her.

The walk to a capsule hotel was quiet, she was surprise he asked for help. "I paid for you. I hope you find your way after tonight." She tells him as he looks into nothing and says nothing before taking his leave.

(Your Name) watches his back and sighs. "Maybe he's homeless?"

Ulquiorra laid in the comfy bed lost in thoughts, what had happen to the war? To Ichigo? To Aizen?

Why did he have to be reincarnated as a weak human?

"So this is human emotions?" He says out loud looking at himself in the mirror. He examined his face, was he always this pale and fragile looking?

Pissed he hit the capsule and nothing broke.

He was weak now, weak in mind and powerless.

He didn't know how he was going to survive.

It had been a few days and (Your Name) walked around trying to find the man. She felt a attraction towards him, like she was suppose to help him. She had no luck the past few days trying to find him.

"You have to pay for that thief!" A sales man yelled shoving Ulquiorra out his store.

"I'll kill you stupid human." He says in a monotone voice and raised his finger to use cero but nothing came out.

"You need help man!" The sales man yelled walking away in disbelief as Ulquiorra stared at his finger.

(Your Name) sighed in relief and ran towards him. "Hey! It's you again. What are you doing?"

"Trying to survive." He plainly says walking away still wearing the same clothes she saw him in the day they met.

"How do you plan on surviving with no job?" She asks following him as he walked to random places and examining people. "You will help me find one."

"Me?!"

"As you can tell women I'm not like you humans."

Bewildered a bit she pinched her nose bridge and sighed. "That's what I get for helping a weirdo."

"What do I get if I help you?"

"My protection." He simply says, even though his powers were gone he still was skilled with hand to hand compact.

"Just don't do anything stupid." She says as he follows her.

It was a very interesting few months that passed by, she never understood a lot of things Ulquiorra did.

He lacked a lot of empathy and emotions. He questioned what people did and enjoyed examining strangers on the street. He didn't speak much either.

He also became her protector.

"What is this manga that people are so crazy about?" He asks her one day as they sat and ate breakfast.

"As an manga artist and author it's my job to make my books into a reality. It gives people a sense of escape of our miserable lives." She says shooing him away from her work.

"Humans are weird." He simply says watching the news as she rolled her eyes.

"You know you're a human too?" She states to him and sighs.

"I am now."

There was a silence as she looked at him. He was a bit odd at first. She had to teach how to read, write and proper manners. She never questioned him though.

"So what were you before then?"

"Espada. I was an Espada."

"Huh a what?" She asks a bit taken back and lost.

"I don't know how to be thankful." He then says changing the subject as she sits across from him.

His eyes were green and he did have weird green marks on his face. "I'm starting to believe this guy."

"It's okay. I understand." She tells him as he looks at her with no smile or anything. His face was blank, she couldn't read him.

She knew he was thankful when he learned how to pick up humanity. He would pick up food for them, clean the house and when the rare opportunity comes he would beat up any stalker fans she had.

"I don't know who you were before but I promise you I'm here to help."

It was a cold winter night as they came back from Christmas shopping and picking her up from work, Ulquiorra was holding the bags as she rambled on how work went that day.

Ulquiorra wouldn't admit it but he had grown fond of her after spending everyday together. At first he has no choice to. He had no money or no home but she provided everything for him.

He would find himself smiling softly but frown after realizing what he had done.

"How was your day?" She asks him with a smile as his eyes widen a bit.

"I read books." He answered as she nodded her head.

Ulquiorra never really left the house unless he needed to. She had to admit it was comforting coming home to someone every night.

"I bought you new ones. I hope you like that."

"I enjoy all the books you've bought me." He says looking forwards at the snowing street.

She gasp a bit as he looked a way a bit confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No I'm just happy. Happy your expressing your emotions more."

He didn't say anything afterwards as she entered the warm house and set the gifts under the tree.

"I'm going to get some rest." He says and leaves to his room.

Before she could ask if he ate she saw that he had food already made for her.

"He sure is a fast learner for not being human."

Ulquiorra escaped to his room and laid in bed. He really was growing emotions, the more he stayed here the more he felt every emotions.

The emotions of pain, loneliness, sadness.

Recently he didn't feel any of those he felt happy, safe, secure. Was this the human way of saying he was satisfied of his life right now.

He didn't know but he felt a comfort of having someone by him at times. Unlike los noches, he was alone and don't know how to talk to people.

(Your Name) gave him a sense of living again and he would try to fit in this world. There was no way he could change the past so he decided might as well live for the future.

It was weird for Ulquiorra to have these thoughts, it was a new thing to him.

Before he lived for nothing but killing.

"What did you do before becoming human?" She asks him one night as they watched a movie. Well she had to force him to watch it.

"Kill."

"Okay? More explanation."

"I was created to kill, that was my only purpose in life. My home had nothing but sand and a moon."

"What did you eat?"

"My people."

She wanted to not believe him but every word he said were straightforward and he never blinked once. He didn't tell lies to her. "Interesting. So what happen? Did you get eaten or die?"

"I lost in a battle and disappeared into dust and I woke up here."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" He asks curiously a bit taken back from her words.

"I don't know you don't seem happy here."

He blinked a few times and tried his best to smile but it didn't come along. "I am satisfied as you humans say."

She sighed in relief and sadly smiled. She never really given the thought of being somewhere new with no one and not being able to fit in.

"I realize how hard it must have been for you, when people call you strange and treat you like an outcast. It must have been hard."

Ulquiorra sits with his legs crossed and tilted his head giving it thought.

"I don't need anyone if I have you."

There was a mutual understanding between the two even though words of expression were rarely ever spoken.

"I'm really glad to have you." She answered back feeling the warmth of her cheeks turn pink.

"As I am too."

(Your Name) had gone to a late meeting with a few of her editors and seeing it was past midnight she didn't wanna wake ulquiorra up from sleep to walk her home.

She lived in a nice part of Tokyo but in a quiet area so people rarely ever walked on her road.

It was raining hard as she made cover underneath a store. Sighing she pulled her phone out and tried to speed dial Ulquiorra number before a loud rumbled hit the floor and she looked up to see a hollow.

At first she didn't wanna believe it but the thing was real and screaming walking towards her.

"(Your Name)."

"Ulquiorra- there's a, there's a monster charging towards me."

The phone line went dead as he rushed out to find her.

Running in the rain he spotted the hollow immediately. "Don't get any closer to her trash." He spoke as it roared.

Ulquiorra had lost all his powers but luckily he knew some move although none of it worked as he was easily slapped away as he hit the floor hard and he groaned.

"This human body is pathetic."

Watching the hollow grab (Your Name) he felt every emotion go through him. The pain, sadness, frustration. She was screaming as she reached out her hand to his.

He called out her name and whined in pain before blacking out.

"Ulquiorra!" She yelled to him but he didn't respond. Looking back at the hollow it open it's mouth to consume her as she shut her eyes a green light was glowing around her.

"I told you I would protect you." He says to her as she opened her eyes to see him in a white uniform and he was standing on air. STANDING ON AIR!

With one smack the hollow diminished into nothing as Ulquiorra settled her down safely on the road.

"You. You got your power back! How?"

Ulquiorra thought back about his fight and realized the same thing happen to Ichigo and he finally understood why he came back.

"Someone important to me is worth protecting." He reply's as she tears up and hugged him tightly as he gasped.

Sadly smiling to himself where no one could see him he embraced her back.

"Ulquiorra?" She asks him that same night as they sat on the roof top and he was still in gear. "Yes?"

"Does this mean you are leaving?"

He doesn't answer and looks down. He thinks back on how life was here in the human world. It was quite fun here. He didn't remember what he did back in the barren sand and dark night.

"No. Unless I have to."

She sighed in relief but still she knew he was different. "Just promise me, if you ever decide to leave... you will without telling me goodbye."

"I won't leave. I have no reason to go back." He plainly says looking up to the moon.

"You promise me? I can't imagine a life without you, the way you are eases me is comforting. Your the peace I needed in my chaotic mind."

He was lost for words, was this a human way for showing love?

"I to."

He wanted to say more. He liked her. Loved her. Even if he wouldn't admit it now, there was a warmth in him he had never felt before and the feeling of being needed was something he might have yearned for.

"I promise you, I'm only yours. Even if there's a obstacle between us there's way we can break it."

She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder as he stiffen a bit and then relaxed.

He was home. Home wasn't a place for him but someone that accepted him for who he was.

It was you.

(Author note: idk why he's such a hard character to write for me. I know he seemed oc but I put in some thought of how he would be as a human.)

[smallheathgangsters]

Habits | M.G.

A/N: So, I combined my submission for @maggiescarborough​‘s writing challenge with a request that I got. It’s pure angst, but I still hope you enjoy. Also, I’m glad I’m back to uploading regularly!

Pairing: Michael Gray x Reader

Word Count: 1649

Type: angst

Summary: Michael leaves for America and when he gets back, there is nothing left to save.

Tag List: @livingforbarnes​ @multi-fandom-iimagines​ @lovemissyhoneybee​ @peakyblindersengland​ @lucillethings​ @callmesunshinexx​ @simonsbluee​ @anyasthoughts​ @sophieshelby​

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You had never met Henry. You had never met the sweet, innocent boy who knew nothing about guns and murder and violence, who knew nothing about the Peaky Blinders and their business. The boy that had helped his foster mom pick apples from trees and his foster dad cut the lawn. The one that had worn colourful ties and light brown trousers with suspenders.

But you had had the privilege to meet Michael before everything went south.

You had helped him find his mother’s home after he had escaped from the country. Birmingham was big and easy to get lost in. You had run into him while he had been wandering cluelessly around Small Heath, a piece of paper with an address in hand.

“May I help you?” you had asked him.

There had been uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m looking for my mother.”

“Is that her address?” you had said, pointing at the note between his fingers. Michael had nodded and passed it over to you. Only a quick glace was necessary for you to realise who he had been looking for.

You had huffed surprised. “Polly Gray is your mother?”

“That’s what the man had told me …”

His voice had been a little shaky. You had quickly noticed that he was from the city. “What man?”

“He said his name was Thomas Shelby.”

You had inhaled deeply when the two last words had left his lips. If this young man really was Polly Gray’s son, then he clearly did not know what he was getting himself into. And of course, Tommy had made sure to take this boy away from his foster family just to expand his army. At least that’s what the Shelby family seemed to have become.

Still, you explained the way to Mrs. Gray’s home to the quiet stranger in front of you. Though, you couldn’t hold back a comment. It had hung at the tip of your tongue. “Be careful …”

He had noticed that the unawareness of his name was the reason for your pause.

“Michael.”

“Michael,” you had repeated. “The Shelby’s are living a very dangerous lifestyle. You don’t seem anything like them. Don’t get caught up in their business. It’ll ruin you.”

You had saw him gritting his teeth. Probably not what he wanted to hear from some random girl on the street in an unknow city.

So, he had simply thanked you for your help and took off.

After that, you didn’t see Michael for a while. And you had almost forgotten about the handsome country boy, when one day you spotted him walking towards you on the street. You were on your way to get some groceries at the shop nearby, planning on baking a lovely apple crumble for your family.

At first, you were unsure if you should keep your head down and ignore him. Walk past and act as if you didn’t recognise him. But your eyes wouldn’t obey. They kept moving to the young man, now dressed in a clearly expensive suit. His hair was slicked back, making him look like a million pounds.

You cursed under your breath for being so captivated by him and tore your gaze away with much effort.

Since Michael was not born yesterday, he had spotted you looking at him. He stopped in his tracks just as you were about to pass him and greeted you kindly.

“Oh, hello Michael.”

“How have you been?”

You shrugged. “Normal?”

Michael chuckled at your response.

“What about you? Have you settled in with your new family?”

“Well, technically they’re my real family,” he corrected you promptly. “But yes, they have been very welcoming. I even got a job in Tommy’s company. Since I went to school the longest, I’m pretty good with numbers.”

“Sounds great,” you said. You felt uneasy knowing he was a Shelby now. The ones who people avoided when they went to the pub or walked down the Small Heath alleys. The ones that made their blood run and their heart beat faster. That made deals with men even more fearsome than themselves.

“Are you on your way home?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I’m going to the store to buy a few things for dinner tonight.”

“I could accompany you, if you like,” Michael offered, giving you a gorgeous smile. You frowned at his proposition. “Don’t you have to be somewhere? You look rather put together to pick up some groceries.”

He laughed. “I don’t mind. And I’m sure waiting half an hour won’t hurt John either.”

Michael went with you to get groceries and escorted you home. He “accidentally” bumped into you the next day again and you had lunch together in a café just a few blocks from your home. Michael invited you to the Garrison one Friday evening and introduced you to his family. He made sure you felt comfortable around the men that intimidated you so much. He started telling you more about the work they did and slowly but surely opened up to you about the aspects that obviously clashed with your morals. He understood and accepted the fact that you could and would not identify yourself with the illegal side of their business.

Nevertheless, you fell in love. You fell in love with Michael because he cared about you so much. He was attentive and gentle and interested in hearing about your day. About the things you liked to do and were passionate about. He was there when you were feeling down and he was there to enjoy the days that simply could not get any better.

You didn’t believe in soulmates, but if they were real, Michael was yours and you were Michael’s.

Then he left.

Fucking America.

Fucking Wall Street.

Fucking stock markets and money and drugs.

He left without an explanation that would help you sleep at night. That would help you with getting up in the morning and going to work. That would calm down the burning anger you had towards the Shelby family.

With Michael leaving, you decided to leave the Shelby’s. As kind as they had been to you, they did not bring any positivity to your life. Not anymore.

Michael did not call. Michael did not write. It was as if he had never existed. But your heart was aching so much, you knew he wasn’t gone. Your heart in his hands, fingers squeezing tightly around it. Almost stopping it from beating.

You had noticed him changing. You had felt his touch getting colder and his words getting fewer. He came home later and went to work earlier.

As foolish as you were, you told yourself to ignore the signs. And in the end, whatever you were trying to save, came crumbling down.

You had counted the days after he’d left. But you eventually stopped. How many years had it been? Two? Three? Four even? You had lost track of time. And just as you thought you were over Michael Gray, he was back in Small Heath.

With a woman.

You tried to push through the busy crowd of a sunny Saturday morning after accidentally locking eyes with him. You wanted to get away. Erase the images that were now spinning around in your head.

Just as you thought you had saved yourself from an unpleasant encounter with the man you had once called yours, a strong hand placed itself onto your shoulder.

“Please wait …”

You spun around, holding the handle of your basked tightly, as though it was giving you the support you needed in this situation.

“I have nothing to say to you,” you spat. Against your own expectations, you didn’t look away.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he said, pulling back his hand awkwardly.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about if you did it willingly and on purpose. And since you’ve never officially broken up with me, I take your new girl as an indication that our relationship is over, eh?”

You were never one to mince your words, but you knew where to draw the line. Usually. Whereas Michael, standing right in front of you, seemed to be triggering the worst in you. You would not try to be nice. You would use words that hurt. That would stab into his chest and rip out the little of a soul he had left.

Michael winced at your remark. You could see that this conversation was painful. Too bad, he didn’t understand the pain he had put you through when he left you. “I never meant to hurt you–“

You rolled your eyes.

“You know that this business changed me, Y/N. You knew I wasn’t the same man you met when I asked you about Pol’s address,” he continued.

“Oh, how romantic, referring to that day?”

“Please don’t be like that,” he begged. You knew he tried to sound pitiful. It wasn’t working. You were over and done with this theatre.

“It wasn’t the business that changed you, Michael. You yourself decided to change. And you decided to be cruel,” you told him, the tone in your voice harsh. Merciless even.

You watched him close his eyes for a moment, most likely annoyed at your unwillingness to talk this through, maybe even come to an understanding.

There was not one fibre in your body that was having any of it.

“I can’t change the man I am deep inside,” he tried explaining his behaviour. You huffed and shook your head in disbelief. “You’re an asshole, Michael Gray. And just for the record: Cruelty isn’t a personality trait. Cruelty is a habit. And you deliberately made it your habit.”

Then, you turned your back on your former boyfriend and began walking away. Taking the largest and proudest steps possible.

“Where are you going?” he shouted after you, baffled by the outcome of this dialogue.

“Home. To bake a fucking apple crumble.”

[funkymbtifiction]

hey, me again (the person you typed as SFP). Thanks for your respond. First of all; you are certainly right about me using fi-te, thats actually i am quiet sure about by now (even though i had some trouble seeing myself as a feeler at first because it is usually described that feelers are in general more empathic and i can assure you no person i know would ever use the word "empathic" to describe me)...

You sound like an NP in what you wrote here, yes.

Fi's appear stoic on the outside, but are a swarm of specific emotions on the inside. They are self-referencing; if something doesn't ignite an emotional response in them, they don't care and aren't particularly sympathetic from "the outside," hence why people call them "cold." But they are very easily insulted, if they're INFPs. Much more so than an ENFP, who will consider it through Ne/Te more often than Fi.

[olivarryprompts]

Fanfic Friday #7

Welcome to Fanfic Friday! Each Friday I will post a new fanfic here and on A03. Enjoy x

Read and save it on A03 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/32577124

{the anatomy of caring}

Ships: minor stevetony, focused on Tony & Peter

Warnings: none, it’s just fluff :)

Wc: 2355

It was obvious to anyone who knew the two well. It was Steve and Tony, Iron Man and the Captain. It simply made sense. If the logic wasn’t enough, the two looked at home with one and another. They slipped together like puzzle pieces. Tony always helped Steve through the confusion of a new world, and Steve always knew just how to help Tony deal with the anxiety of their reality. They were the perfect couple, and they both knew that.

Then, the spiderling came along. Tony saw a mirror image of himself in Spiderman. A young, ambitious boy who had the curse and gift of superhuman powers. He defied death each day he swung between buildings, and Tony couldn’t help but be enthralled. He couldn’t help but figure out who the kid was (It was pretty easy to figure out it was a kid, considering he only showed up outside of school hours). Steve, knowing his lover so well, knew instantly how protective Tony felt over the kid he’d merely stalked on the internet.

So when Tony explained the plan to show up at Peter’s with the “Stark Internship” it was no surprise to the captain. To the rest of the team, who’d all moved into the tower, it was a complete shock. The fact that Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, wanted to help this kid hone his powers and skills.

“You,” Bruce said, “Want to help this kid..what? Be a superhero?” “Well, someone’s gotta,” Tony explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Someone has to?” Nat questioned. “He can’t go around swinging off rooftops and beating up bad guys without any training. Or backup.” “Correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t your idiot ass do that?” Sam questioned. “I was not a kid. And I had money, friends, people,” Tony wildly gesticulated. “I am beyond confused,” Nat laughed. “Same train as Romanoff,” Clint agreed. “Guys, this is not that hard. Come on. Let’s take this scenario. He ends up meeting some guys, and, instead of, say, winning, he loses. And either he dies, or gets badly injured. Who does he have? No one? He bleeds out. He’s a kid for fuck sake.” “Cap’s been awfully quiet,” Clint pointed out. “What? I knew this was coming days ago,” Steve explained with a smile, “I know my man. He wasn't just gonna let this kid get himself into trouble if he could do anything about it. Plus, Tony doesn’t keep tabs, he violently invades lives.” Tony shot him a look. “With love, invades with lots and lots of love,” he quickly fixes, flashing his million dollar smile at his boy. Tony just rolled his eyes and focused on addressing the group, “Look, I know it’s a lot, but I think it’s just what I have to do. And I own the tower, so, my choice,” he said with a hint of banter in his voice. Tony headed towards the elevator. “Where the hell are you going?” Sam asked. “The spiderling’s.”

Tony left before he could hear any of the exasperated responses. It was a fair drive down to Queen’s where the boy lived. He parked outside the small building, and he then climbed the seven flights of stairs to the apartment. He knocked on the door and greeted, “Hello, I’m Tony, Tony Stark.” He smiled his media smile, extending a hand towards May. “I-I know. Mr. Stark, hello, w-what are you doing here?” “Well, your nephew Peter applied for the Steptember Grant, and well, he got it,” Tony said, thrusting all the enthusiasm he could muster. He maintained his fabricated nonchalant, disregarding manner in most places. “Wow this is, this is incredible! Peter will be home any minute now. Come in, come in. Can I get you a drink?”

He was back at the tower, recapping his meeting with Peter to Cap. “-can you believe no one knows? Well, now it's knew. No one knew this kid was swinging around. And he got these powers with no one to help him through it, and god, it must have been awful. But, he’s good, Cap, he’s so good. He feels the need to help people, beyond just guilt. He’s, he’s-” “Tones,” Steve said, kissing his cheek, “Take a deep breath.” To be fair to the man, he hadn’t slept for at least 36 hours. With all that coffee in his system he had the right to be a bit uncomposed. The two were sitting at the breakfast bar, well Tony was sitting and Steve was behind it, cooking some eggs for the younger man. “I’m just glad I found him before he killed himself trying to save the world.” “Me too. How long has it been since you’ve slept?” “J?” “Sir, it has been 36 hours.“ “Tonyyyy,” Steve said, clearly disappointed. “Steveeee.” “I’m forcing you to bed.” “I have work to do. Plus it’s only eight o’clock.” “Eat then sleep, honey,” Steve said in that voice that you just didn’t ignore.

C2

At first the “Stark Internship” started as Tony upgrading Peter’s suit, monitoring his patrols, and teaching how to fight. Well, Natasha taught him how to fight. After she offered, Tony was in no place to deny. It was overwhelming to Peter. He was being taught about tech with Tony Stark and being taught how to fight from the black widow.

For the first couple weeks, he was a nervous wreck in the tower. He’d hardly speak to anyone and only do and touch what he was told to. He’d change, head straight to the gym, and then Natasha would train him. At first, the training was silent, other than Nat’s coaching. Then, slowly, the two began talking. It started with Nat asking how he first got his power, then it moved to her first missions, and then suddenly Nat knew a lot about Peter. And Peter was one of the few people in the world who knew a lot about Natasha. “-so what, you fought alien robots sent by Thor’s brother?” “Yeah, that's about right. I had to get up to one of the buildings, so, with Cap’s shield as my trampoline, I launched myself onto one of their flying machines. Pretty fun time up there.” “Holy shit, that���s incredible. How’d you stop them?” Peter knew how the battle had gone down, afterall he’d been in New York during the attack, but it was something else hearing it from an actual Avenger. “Well, it was quite complicated. The scientist-” Nat reminded him to keep his wrist straight. He made the fix, and went back to punching the bag. She launched back into the tale,”The scientist, remember him, who Loki’d controlled woke up mid battle. He’d installed a death switch for the portal, but to access it we needed the scepter. But, the thing is, the government basically sent a nuke toward New York in an effort to contain the aliens, so Tony grabbed the nuke and aimed from inside of the portal and threw it at their main spacecraft. This turned off all of the alien tech. He was a he-” “Hey Kid, Nat. Please don’t tell me you're telling the New York story,” Tony said from the entrance. “Hi Mr. Stark.” Nat rolled her eyes, “I am telling the New York story. You were a he-” “Don’t say it. You almost done?” “I’ll call it. Good job today kid.” “Thanks.”

Similar to the gym, he’d become far more comfortable around Tony and in his lab. At first he’d sit silently, doing his work. Then he got used to Tony’s eccentric tendencies, he memorized the layout and where everything was, and he’d also been unofficially given a workspace. It became easier and easier to feel comfortable. The late night coffee and deep chats were simply a bonus. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it felt like he had a father figure. It was nice.

One day, Tony was vibin’ to ACDC and chatting with Steve whilst working on Mock 50 of his new suit design when Peter showed up. Steve being in the lab was something Peter had also become accustomed to. “Jarvis, please get some good music on in here. Queen perhaps?” Peter requested. He did it to annoy Mr. Stark, and it did just that. “Hey kid,” Cap said. “Don’t “hey kid” him,” Mr. Stark said, faking anger, “Did you just insult my music? How dare you? I am revoking all Jarvis privileges.” Peter laughed alongside Cap. “Sir, you can’t do that. I quite like the kid, and the innovations he is creating require my attention.” “Why did I program you to have a goddamn personality?” Tony said, focusing back to his work, “And Jarvis, put the quality music back now.” “Anway, how was school?” Steve asked. “Good, yeah. The same really. We had another one of your “fitness” videos for class today. Real good,” Peter joked. “Oh god, please don’t tell me they really use those.” “They really use those,” Peter smiled, “I’m going for a shower. See you in a flash.” “Wrong superhero, kid,” Mr. Stark called. “Idiot,” Peter heard Cap mutter into the top of Mr. Stark’s head.

Upon returning, he noticed the absence of the team leader. “Where did Cap go?” “Actual work or something stupid like that.” Peter just smiled as he settled down at his workstation. He wanted to try out some new formulas for his web fluid. He’d had an idea in spanish class, and scribbled it down in his notebook. He fished for it in his backpack.

It was so easy. Too easy. And so so comfortable.

C3

“Come on, I’ve got something to show you.”

Peter had just finished sparring with Nat, and Tony, unusually, came up to the gym to “collect” him. He hadn’t done that for months. Mainly because Peter stopped coming straight down to Tony’s lab. Instead, he went to the kitchen and, mainly because Steve forced him, ate some food. He usually ended up in a random chat with Sam or Bucky. Occasionally he would catch Banner, and he’d end up in a different laboratory. He was always happy to learn about what the incredible doctor was up to. Sometimes, he was even able to provide a suggestion or two. Bruce always looked impressed by the boy. It made Peter smile.

Then he would actually make his way down to the lab, but not before trying to find Hawkeye. He'd wanted to learn some tricks with the bow and arrow. Somehow, Clint would be dragged into teaching Peter how to fire a bow once a week. At least. Clint pretended he minded through teasing and jokes, but realistically he loved hearing about the kid’s week. He’d always been good with kids. It became a running joke that Clint would let Peter know about all the tech upgrades he wanted, and then Peter’d report them to Tony. Most of the time Tony replied with something snarky like, “Tell the idiot he shouldn’t have picked a dumbass weapon like a bow and arrow,” or “do it yourself if you care that much.”

The Avengers Tower had become home just as much as his apartment in Queens was, and it was clear that Tony knew that. Hence the, “Come on, I’ve got something to show you.” He took the little Avenger to the elevator, hitting floor 80. He was a little confused given that floors 75-90 were all bedroom floors for the avengers or just spare bedrooms. “Mr. Stark-” “You’ll see, kid.” In reality, Tony was nervous. He and Steve decided a while back that Peter deserved his own space in the tower, but he had been scared that Peter wouldn’t like it. That he picked the wrong colours, or mattress, or well, anything.

The doors opened and there were two doors facing one another. Tony opened one of them with a key he pulled out of his black suit. The door opened and he was met by a beautiful and modern room. It had a huge bed and tv. There was a desk equipped with the latest stark Holographic technology. In the corner was a suit, specifically a spider suit. That is when it clicked. “Mr. Stark, is, is this all mine?” “Yeah kid, sorry if you don’t like anything. Cap and I did the best we could knowing what you like. And ye-” Peter cut him off with a hug, “thank you.” “Anything for you, kid. Just say the word. Want a tour?” Peter eagerly nodded. “Alright so that’s the bed, obviously. No more sleeping in the guest rooms or that couch in the worksho-” “You sleep ther-” “Don’t say that I sleep there, I am no role model for sleep schedules.” Peter just smiled. “This is a little workshop area I mocked up. You can’t really tinker up here, but do all the designing you want,” he pulled up the most recent project Peter was working on, “Then, just through there is the bathroom, a little lounge area over there and yeah, that’s all. Oh, there’s two mini fridges by the lounge area.” Just as Tony finished his explanation, Steve showed up. “Tones, you showed it to him without me,” Cap complained. “Sorry, babes, you took too long.” he turned around and placed a little kiss on his lips. “It’s fine. How do you like it Pete?” “It’s, it’s-” Peter couldn’t think of any words to describe how incredible it was to have a room at the Avengers Tower, but more importantly how incredible it was to have so many people looking out for him. Before he had just one, Aunt May. She is amazing, but he’d always longed for just a little more. Then, with the Avengers, he’d been given a lot more. They became his family. And now his home. “Thank you,” was all Peter could muster before falling onto the floor.

The two of them, now in each other's arms, just looked down fondly at the boy. “We did good,” Cap whispered. “We did good,” Tony agreed. They did good with more than just the room.

[kenmaash]

Mistletoe -a Kenhina fluffshot

The long ring of a doorbell echoed through a huge house, startling the boy who stood in the kitchen. He quickly put down the tray of food he was holding and rushed to the door.

“Shouyou!” he exclaimed when he opened the dark mahogany to reveal his friend.

“Hey Kenma!” Shouyou raised one arm in greeting, balancing a beautifully wrapped box and a circular pan on his other.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” Kenma quickly took the covered dish from Shouyou’s wobbly grip and set it on his kitchen counter.

“No problem, it took a bit of convincing my family, though,” Shouyou walked further into Kenma’s house, shutting the door on the icy air behind him.

“Yeah, I guess not everyone spends Christmas eve with their friend rather than their family,” Kenma said with a chuckle, gently unwrapping Shouyou’s scarf from his neck and hanging it near the front door.

“Well, your parents aren’t here, right? So that’s my excuse to hang out with you on Christmas eve,” the flame-haired boy shrugged with a smile.

Kenma nodded. “I just got the last thing out of the oven. After we eat, do you want to go out on the town?”

“Sure, I need to get Natsu a last minute present anyway.”

“Great.” Beneath his cat-themed Christmas sweater, Kenma’s heart began to beat faster against his will. He quickly turned his attention to the dishes set nicely on his kitchen island as an excuse to face away from Shouyou. “I didn’t make much since it’s just the two of us, and I figured we could just have a casual dinner.”

“Sounds great! I’ve never been a big fan of the stuffy relatives crowding around your food to talk about school or whatever,” Shouyou admitted with a shiver. He walked briskly to the other side of the counter Kenma stood at, leaning down to look into the other’s bowed head. “Plates?”

“You know where they are,” Kenma waved Shouyou away with one hand. “More importantly, is this apple pie?”

“Yup,” Shouyou set two plates, two forks and two knives on the island next to Kenma. “Eat something other than pie, though.”

“Ugh, if I eat anything else I won’t be hungry for pie anymore,” Kenma groaned inwardly.

“Well then we can save desert for after we get back. You have to eat real food.”

And so, with much grumbling and complaining on Kenma’s end, the two ate a slightly healthier dinner than Kozume would have wanted. When their plates were clean and their utensils had been licked, Shouyou took their dishes and tossed them into Kenma’s dishwasher. Kenma wrapped the leftovers in plastic wrap, placing them in the fridge as neatly as he could fit them around random other food.

“Ready?” Wrapping his red scarf around his neck, Shouyou peered behind him at Kenma pulling his boots on over his fluffy calico-print socks.

“Now I am. You?” The taller boy stood and looked down to examine his boots.

“Let’s go!” Shouyou started to open the door, but noticed a parcel tucked under Kenma’s arm. “Oh shit, I need to get your present.”

“Hurry,” Kenma leaned his back against the door and watched with a smirk on his face as Shouyou sprinted to the living room to grab the beautiful present that he most certainly did not wrap.

“Got it. Let’s go for real now,” Shouyou laughed and Kenma’s heart began its rapid palpitations once again.

“Y-yeah.” Kozume shook his head as he opened the door, trying to dislodge the persistent thoughts of how sweet his friend’s laugh was.

“We’re walking, right?” Shouyou stuck close to Kenma’s side to shut out the cold wind raking across their faces and hands.

“Unfortunately,” the other grumbled.

“It’s not that cold!” Shouyou insisted.

“Your hands are pink,” Kenma grabbed Shouyou’s wrist and brought his left hand up to eye level.

“I guess you’re right,” Shouyou sighed, exhaling a gust of warm cinnamon and burning pine candles into Kenma’s face.

“Hey, you’re glad your breath smells nice.” A blush rose to Kenma’s cheeks when he realized what he had just said.

“Oh, your cheeks are really flushed! Take my scarf, you should’ve told me your face was freezing off!” Shouyou yanked his scarf off and wound it gingerly around Kenma, making sure to cover his nose with the soft fabric.

“Thanks, Shouyou.” The corners of Kenma’s eyes crinkled with the smile that was brought to his burning face.

“Now we’ve gotta stay closer to keep the cold out.” Shouyou pulled himself closer to Kenma’s body.

“Sure….” Kenma provided no hesitation as Shouyou pulled him into a standing side-cuddle against the icy air.

The two continued their way down the street, bringing up topics such as volleyball and grades as they walked. Snow and frozen leaves crunched under their heavy boots and lighthearted conversation. Purple and red lights flickered from the bustling city, reflecting off of the boys’ hair and eyes as they got closer to the source of the lights. Golden light poured out of the windows and glass doors of several shops and bakeries, welcoming in any passersby with enticing scents.

“I want coffee.” Shouyou blurted suddenly, sharply changing course and heading towards a small cafe. He dragged a startled Kenma by the scarf through the entrance.

“Moon latte and cinnamon apple mocha please,” Kenma ordered for the two of them patiently while Shouyou sprinted to the bathroom.

When Shouyou returned with a freshly relieved bladder, he grinned and gestured to the gift he brought for Kenma. “Open!”

“Open yours after, then.” Kenma took his gift and pushed Shouyou’s to him across the small table.

“Okay, okay, just open it.” Shouyou insistently shoved the box off of the table into Kenma’s lap.

“Why is this so heavy?” Kenma lifted the gift up and weighed it in his hands.

“It cost a lot of money too, so don’t break it by shaking it around like that,” Shouyou made anxious fists with his hands.

“Oh- sorry.” Kenma put the box back on the table and pulled off the bow holding the wrapping together. “Who wrapped it?”

“Nishinoya,” Shouyou admitted with a chuckle, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck.

“Wow, he did a nice job. I almost don’t want to open it all the way.” Kenma smiled.

“Open the damn gift!” Shouyou’s face crinkled up in frustration and he lunged for the present. “This is frustrating for me and I already know what’s in it!”

“Fine! I was just making you agonize for a second.” Kenma quickly tucked the box away from Shouyou’s reach. He peeled the wrapping paper off, bit by bit unveiling a set of two white touch lamps. “What are these?”

“Friendship lamps!” Shouyou took one of the lamps and plugged it in near the base of the table, gesturing for Kenma to do the same. “They’re so cool. If you tap one of them, the other one’ll turn on too. And you can change the colors, so we can make secret codes! Oh, and they work no matter how far away they are.”

Kenma stared wide-eyed at the lamp in front of him, his eyes shimmering like those of a curious cat. “Cool… your gift isn’t nearly as interesting as that, but I think you’ll like it.”

Shouyou wasted no time tearing open his gift, pulling a small box out of the wreckage. He eased the box open to reveal a gold necklace with a circular charm.

“It’s a locket.” Kenma pointed to the clasp on the side of the charm.

Shouyou pried the necklace open, grinning at the picture on display on the inside shells. The one on the left was a picture of Kozume and Hinata together; taken by Shouyou against Kenma’s will. Shouyou had one arm wrapped around Kenma’s shoulders and held up a peace sign. Kenma glared at the camera with a face ready to kill. It had been taken right as Kenma woke up at their first sleepover. Kozume’s hair was a mess of tangles and knots, stuck in the hairbands Hinata had put them in the previous night.

The picture on the right inside of the locket was just of Kozume, and this one had been taken by Hinata as well. Kozume wore a black turtleneck, black pants, and circular golden glasses. Hinata had draped fairy lights over Kozume’s body and tied his hair up in a messy bun. Kozume offered the camera a slight hint of a smile, sitting cross-legged and tucking his hands into his lap. The warm glow of the fairy lights and living fireflies glinted off of the round glasses. The background of the picture was a dark purple sky streaked with shooting stars and black clouds, and Hinata brought it up often as his favorite picture of Kozume.

“Kenmaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Shouyou wiped the tingling sensation of tears from his eyes and dove across the table to wrap his arms around his best friend.

“You’re welcome. And thank you for the lamp.” Kenma squeezed his eyes tightly shut and mumbled his words into Shouyou’s hair.

Shouyou let go of Kenma and sat up, immediately bringing his coffee to his lips over a smile. “How long do you want to spend in town?”

“As long as you want.” Kenma shrugged and stood up. “Let’s keep walking.”

Shouyou stood and opened a bag he had brought along for Kenma to put the lamps into. “Can you help me put on the locket?”

“Mhm,” Kenma took both ends of the golden locket and brought them together behind Shouyou’s head.

“Oh, should we make codes for the lamps now?” Shouyou suggested. “Blue should be ‘I need help with homework’.”

“Even though we go to different schools?” Kenma shoved Shouyou lightly as they walked together towards the door.

“Well, you’re older than me so you’ve learned this stuff before,” Shouyou protested. “Hold on, let’s throw away the wrapping paper before we leave.”

“Okay,” Kenma retrieved the trash from the gift bag and changed course with Shouyou to head towards the trashcan. “Green can be for emergencies and orange for just ‘what’s up?’.”

“And then purple can be ‘doing good’ and yellow can be ‘not doing good’,” Shouyou tossed the paper in the trash near the exit. “Only pink left.”

The pair paused in the doorway of the shop to think. Kenma looked up and gasped quietly.

“What?” Shouyou looked up as well. His eyes moved quickly from the hanging object to Kenma’s face. Kenma looked down, losing his breath when he saw Shouyou holding his.

“Mistletoe….” Shouyou whispered. Kenma nodded silently, feeling his heart speed up for the third time that night. He placed his hand over his chest and took a deep breath.

“I- I mean, we have to… . Right?” Kenma said softly.

“Have to,” Shouyou agreed. He slowly wrapped the scarf Kenma wore around his fist, not breaking eye contact. Brown and amber eyes became glued together, hearts racing in unison as Shouyou pulled his scarf-wrapped hand closer to himself, pulling Kenma down with it.

“Hey, Shou?” Kenma muttered, taking Shouyou’s hand in his own to stop himself just a few inches above Shouyou’s lips.

“Hmm?” brown eyes traveled from amber ones down to the lips at the other end of Kenma’s face.

“I have an idea for pink.”

“What is it?”

“I love you.” Kenma scooped Shouyou’s cheeks in his hands, lifting the shorter boy’s face closer to his own.

The kiss was warm and soft, full of gentleness and longing and a hint of hesitation. The reservation in Kenma’s lips faded away when Shouyou kissed him back, yanking on the scarf to pull their faces closer. Smiles were brought to both pairs of lips and two pairs of hands found hair and clothing to grip onto as tightly as they could without hurting the other person. After a few minutes of breathless kisses, Shouyou broke into an unmanageable grin and forced the encounter to pause.

“Yes. Pink is for ‘I love you’,” He breathed.

“I love you.” Kenma leaned forward and kissed Shouyou on his forehead.

“I love you, too.” Shouyou pulled Kenma into another kiss.

“Merry Christmas.”

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Seventeen

Previous Chapter Here

Warnings: Strong language and an air of discomfort.

Notes: I hope this reads OK as it’s quite dialogue-heavy.

Tags: @kelbabyblue @jennmurawski13

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 

The night shifts weren’t all bad. From time to time, they were even as good as “pretty straight forward”. They proved especially useful when trying to finish patient notes and random admin that always got left to the very end of the shift. Perhaps they’d endure a tidy-out of the stock cupboards if the crew was feeling generous. Since O’Brien had taken up his post at the hospital years earlier, he had insisted upon mandatory training updates for the ER units every three to four months (the national average was about once a year) so the team were regularly reminded not to set fire to their computers and not to leave boxes in places people could trip over. You’d be surprised how often both those things happened in an emerging crisis. 

“I swear he thinks we’re idiots half the time.” Complained Jack, his head now glued to the palm of his hand. Jack was hurtling towards an early retirement thanks to an ever-increasing distrust of the corporate environment ER departments found themselves in. We trained to save lives, he’d say, not file stat reports. He was so right, it hurt. 

The crew was sat round the reception desk. The ER was empty except for a local homeless man the team allowed in from time to time to sleep off his latest drunken adventures. 

“Who doesn’t know how to bend their knees when lifting something heavy?” Jack asked again. 

“Ryan for one.” Sarah joked, pointing her cold cup of tea towards the fellow nurse in question. Ryan was a tall and skinny guy, not dissimilar to Alexander Skarsgard in the right light but with less charm although he had left a few of the interns swooning of late. Shanna quite liked him, too. 

“One time, Sarah. One time and I suffered for it greatly.” Ryan remarked, spinning a full 360 in his swivel chair. “Did you tick ‘agree’ or ‘strongly agree’ for question eleven?” 

“Oh, if you don’t tick ‘strongly agree’ even if you only ‘agree’, they mark you down a couple of percentage points.” Entered Audrey, slamming down a pile of files on the desk beside Sarah. Their nightly routine just got more interesting. “Just get it over with. It’s not worth the effort. It’s just O’Brien being obsessed with stats again. He turns everything into a competition. I swear it’s unhealthy.”

Ryan looked momentarily confused before returning to face his computer screen. He re-read the question for the fifth time and rubbed his eyes in resignation. Something about 3am made this far too complicated. 

“When did you even find time to do this, Aud?” Jack asked, turning back to Sarah and Audrey in time to witness their shared look self-satisfaction. “I’ve been sat here for half an hour and am still only part way through the first section.” 

“I logged in at home earlier.” she responded before catching Sarah’s quizzical look. “Well, Michael did most of it for me.” 

“Fucking hell!” exclaimed Jack, chucking his pen on the table, giving up. “Got no chance then, have I? Michael’s a bloody genius. Hey, how much for him to do mine?” 

“Normally I’d say $100 but he’s pretty cheap these days.” shrugged Audrey. “Probably a fancy cigar would do.” 

“He still grumpy about the you-know-what?” whispered Sarah to her friend when the guys started joshing between themselves. 

Audrey leaned back on the desk beside her and took the mug from Sarah’s hands to take a sip, grimacing slightly at the sweetness. For some reason, Sarah had to have at least three sugars in her tea if she was drinking it post-midnight. It helped to keep her more alert apparently. She didn’t drink it like that at any other time of the day. “No more than usual. Seems like we’re both unlucky in that department at the moment.” 

Sarah smiled at her in acknowledgement, lips thin before biting the inside of her cheek. 

Following their last meet-up, Chris had been decidedly quiet. Too quiet almost. It was weird. He hadn’t messaged her. He hadn’t called or visited their apartment except to collect a parcel he had left. Sarah has been out for a run at the time and had felt silently glad to have missed him. He hadn’t updated his twitter and there had been multiple sports events occurring that would have guaranteed a humblebrag or five. Shanna had pledged to buy rib-eye steaks for a Saturday night meal during a Celtics game and he had cancelled at the last minute citing an interview he had conveniently forgotten. Even Audrey thought it was weird. If anything was guaranteed to get his attention and bring him out of whatever funk he was in, it was the promise of sports and a ‘Grade A’ barbeque. 

Shanna merely put it down to his laziness or him having something better turn up. Scott had started replacing Chris around their apartment, wanting to get some of his own distance from the tricky Zach situation and it helped her feel better knowing he was at least in touch with him if Shanna wasn’t. He was evidently still alive. 

Sarah decided to swap a couple of daytime stints to partner up with Audrey for the nights. She needed the comfort of working with a good friend to calm her down from whatever ledge her anxiety had placed her on. 

“You know that he’ll come back, right?” Audrey interrupted her thoughts. Maybe Sarah spoke too soon. “Haven’t you got that birthday thing for Lisa coming up?” 

That trip was a couple of weeks away yet. She was trying to bank some reasonable excuses but everything sounded lame in the cold light of day and Lisa was never going to accept her not coming as well. Surely things would have smoothed themselves out by then? 

“This won’t just fix itself, hun, you’ll need to speak to him eventually. And the sooner the better.” 

It was like Audrey had a hotline straight into Sarah’s psyche. It was unnerving at the best of times. Sarah knew she was right of course. It’s just, a little bit of distance would be a good thing, right? Even Chris himself had offered that advice from time to time, and stressing herself out at this point almost seemed counterintuitive. 

“I reckon you could go in an hour or so if you wanted.” Audrey offered, nudging her friend with her elbow to bring her back into the room. “It’s dead out there.”

“I hope not.” Sarah joked, trying to lighten the mood. “We’d be shit at our jobs if that was the case.” 

Audrey laughed for the first time since Sarah could remember that day. It was moments like this that reminded her of why she enjoyed working alongside her so much, and why she didn’t mind if it resulted in overtime. 

“You wanna take patient referrals while I take the EPRs?” 

“How can I refuse an offer like that?” Sarah picked up the dozen or so documents sat in front of her and grabbed the nearest chair. Audrey told her she’d put the kettle on and nudged the guys still glued to their screens. Ryan had pretty much given up logical thinking and was now ticking random boxes. Jack was cursing under his breath. O’Brien was going to be in for a real treat when he could finally tabulate the responses. 

It was nearing 6.20am when Sarah and Audrey finally packed up to go. Matt and Stephanie had just arrived to take over for the morning, bringing a fresh perspective for the day. There wasn’t much for them to catch up on so it should be a smooth few hours at least. Sarah even ran a mop through the staff locker room as an added gift – Steph was a notorious clean freak – nearly tripping Greg up in the process. 

He’d been on leave for the past fortnight and his hair was a little longer than she remembered. A five o’clock shadow graced the lower part of his face and it suited him more than she thought it would. He had kept up with the informal tie-less attire and he seemed to be, dare she it, enjoying himself. 

“God, I’m so sorry.” She held her hands up in a mock mea culpa. “I was just gonna put it away before heading out. It was a stupid place to leave it.” 

“Did you not take the Health and Safety refresher?” he joked, rebalancing himself and trying to play down the redness creeping into his cheeks from the embarrassment of temporarily losing his footing in front of her. 

“You gonna rat me out to O’Brien? ‘Cos you know as well as I do that he doesn’t need yet another reason to know he’s right.” She shifted the mop and bucket and placed them back in the supply closet before reaching for her bag again. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” He moved passed her before turning to face her again. “Tell you the truth, I ghosted the last couple of tabs myself. Who knew there were so many ways to ask questions about standing in elevators?” 

Sarah rolled her eyes in acknowledgement. “Yeh. I can’t wait to have the team meeting when he realises we’ve all pretty much done the same thing. That’s gonna be fun. I might finally take some of my holiday.” 

“Yeh, good plan. Hey listen,” His words stopped her in her tracks, feet from the exit. “Um, I know it’s been a while but I was wondering if you might want to reschedule that tennis match some time? Or if not, we could get some dinner or something? There’s that new sushi place on Reagan Street. It’s meant to be really good if you fancy it?” 

She was indeed familiar with that very restaurant thanks to the glowing reviews she had been unable to avoid since it opened. Audrey had only mentioned it a mere thousand times in her presence. Word was that bookings were now months in advance so she wasn’t sure how Greg was hoping to find a table unless he wanted to make plans with her in November. Given the number of commitments he always appeared to have going on, it wouldn’t be completely outside the realm of possibility. 

“Wow, I thought that place was fully booked?” 

“Yeh, it is, but I went to college with one of the investors and he’s promised me a one-off.” 

Of course he did. Sarah bit her bottom lip to stop herself from chuckling out loud, imagining Audrey’s face when she would inevitably find out. To be honest, she was genuinely surprised he was still showing a minor interest in her. When she finally made eye contact with him, his earnestness was practically shining. Had he always had perfect skin?  

“Um…” That was a good start, she thought. 

“Honestly, it’s not a big deal if you’d rather not.” He helpfully pre-empted her awkward rejection but she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “I’ve been meaning to go is all and I knew you liked sushi and figured it might be fun? They have live Jazz on Sunday nights.” 

When did he find out she liked sushi? And live Jazz? Just how much had Audrey told him about her? 

Realising she probably looked perplexed, she shuffled her shoulder strap back up onto her shoulder and tried to relax the awkwardness setting in between them. It was still quiet and no one was within earshot that she could figure out of her peripheral vision. 

“It’s not you, Greg, I promise. It’s just, I’m not really looking to get into anything right now. With anyone. Plus, we work together and…I’m sorry. I hope that’s OK?” 

“Hey, look, I promise it won’t be awkward. There’s absolutely no expectations from me and if you change your mind, just let me know, yeh? I literally know no one else who likes Sashimi so I can’t waste my only chance to get a table.” He chuckled and she felt more at ease. 

“If it’s any consolation, I’m a pretty crap date.” She smiled at him as she edged herself down the hall, putting space between them both literally and figuratively. “You wouldn’t be missing out.” 

“Oh, I doubt that somehow.” He returned her smile. “I’m serious, though. Just let me know. Anytime. No expiration date.” 

And with that, she had been left dumbfounded by two men in the space of a single week. 

* 

It would have been easier to get the early morning bus home at this time, as tired as she was starting to feel. She hadn’t slept well in the last few days and she had a creeping nausea from the lack of proper rest. The walk and crisp, fresh air might do her some good. It was practically full daylight even at this hour, and it was sometimes fun to watch people on their own way to work, huffing along, trying not to drop their coffees. 

The out-of-town school bus passed her a few minutes out from her apartment and as she rounded the corner, she got this weird sense that someone was watching her. Another corner turned and she could see her building in the near distance. Still, she couldn’t shake it. She stopped, pretending to fumble for her phone in her pocket and turned around swiftly to see a sweaty Chris stop a few steps behind her. 

It took her a moment to register it was in fact him, his beard fuller and a Red Sox cap pulled down low over his eyes. He had sweats and sneakers on and looked like he was on a run. Honestly, if someone else had spotted him from this distance, they would have worried he was going to attack her. 

“Hey,” she said, turning to fully face him. “What are you doing out at this time?” 

He didn’t respond at first. He shuffled from one foot to the other before grounding himself and taking a couple of steps towards her. Again, he shuffled back a step like he was rethinking his move. She didn’t appreciate seeing him like this, so unsure of himself. 

“Five months out from filming some pre-shoots so figured I’d make a start.” He finally spoke. Not a really a smile but he at least sounded OK. 

“Cool.” She said, nodding back at him. “Um, I’m not sure if Shanna is awake yet but do you want to come inside for some water or coffee?” 

“Yeh, that’d be great. Thanks.” 

She turned to continue walking on. For a few long moments, he stayed walking slightly behind her. A couple more strides and he had decided to catch up. The last time it had taken this long to walk this same street, she had been so drunk she had narrowly avoided falling into her neighbour’s front garden. 

“Five months? You’re not that out of shape.” She tried to make a joke. It was the only thing she could think of. Audrey would be eye-rolling like a champ if she could see them now. 

Chris knew she was trying to make small talk now so he decided to indulge her. It was a fair response, he thought - he was doing OK - as he followed her up the stairs deliberately keeping two or three behind her in an effort to keep it casual. 

“Oh, y’know. I fluctuate pretty easily. A few pizzas here and there and it’s game over.” 

They walked into her kitchen and she had been right in assuming Shanna was still asleep. Unless she had awoken really early but that was highly unlikely, unless there was a sale at Ted Baker she didn’t know about. 

He lingered in the doorway while she searched the fridge for a bottle of water. Grabbing one from the back, she turned to hand it to him expecting him to be within an arm’s reach from her but he had been distracted by something down the hall before turning back to her. Gratefully, he accepted it and walked into the kitchen to take up his usual spot leaning against the counter. 

“Sorry, did you say you wanted a coffee?” She offered. 

“Nah, I’m good. Can’t really take caffeine until this afternoon.” 

“Sorry. I always forget how strict it is.” She apologised, offering him a sympathetic smile. 

He took a long swig from the bottle, not breaking eye contact from her. “No need to apologise. You OK? Night shift?” 

“Yeh. Pretty quiet, thankfully.” 

“I’ve always meant to ask but what is it like, a night shift? I can’t work out if it would be worse or not.” 

She understood what he meant and laughed. “It can go either way to be honest but it’s been quiet the last few nights. Nothing crazy. I caught up with some paperwork, so…” She shrugged again, acutely aware of how boring she must sound. 

He nodded at her. “Aren’t people supposed to be crazier in the summertime?” 

“Well, kids are around more and families tend to spend more time together, so…” 

The apartment was unnervingly quiet now which was weird. She could hear the uptake in traffic outside which provided some relief that perhaps he couldn’t hear her heart beating out of her chest. She could make out some small sweat patches on his hoodie and it did something to her that she wasn’t expecting. Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to switch the kettle off. 

“What?” He asked. 

She jerked her head back around to face him. “Huh?” 

“You were thinking of something. Your neck just went red.” He smiled, tilting his head at her and relishing the look of surprise making its way over her features, knowing he’d caught her out. 

That was news to her. She knew she had “tells” but a red neck was not usually one of them. How come no one had ever told her about this? 

“I can’t tell if you’re joking with me or not.” She inquired, playfully narrowing her eyes at him in an effort to lighten the mood. 

He shrugged a shoulder at her, a smirk starting to cross his fine features. Joshing with her was good. She’d take that. A small step in the right direction. 

“Sometimes, it’s really obvious. You get it when you’re embarrassed about something, or when you try to lie. I’d never really noticed it before, but...” He paused. His expression started to turn more thoughtful and she wished he’d just continue to make fun of her instead. 

“Guess I won’t be playing poker anytime soon.” She finished the thought for him. 

“Yeh, no, you’d be rubbish at that. Just terrible.” He took another swig from his bottle and waited for her to throw something at him. 

“Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

The room went quiet again. She stirred her mug of coffee and offered him another chance at one which he politely refused although his discipline was waning slightly now he could smell it. 

“So this is fine.” He said after a couple of minutes, nodding in a slightly exaggerated manner. He looked out of the kitchen window. “We can do this, right? No awkwardness. No embarrassment. Just normal, everyday conversation.” 

“’Course,” she nodded in agreement. 

“Start as we mean to go on, right?” 

She nodded again. This felt like a trap and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Chris had a knack for saying and doing two different things at the same time, an intimidating ability that often put people on edge if he thought it would serve his purpose, whatever that may be. Probably the actor in him. When you called him out, he would aggressively defend himself which only served to prove the point you were making in the first place. 

Scott was the only one, truly, who knew when it was happening. It had taken Sarah years to get to a similar position but now, she wasn’t sure she was remotely close to it. 

“It’s as good a starting point as any, I guess.” She shrugged again, sipping from her cup. 

“So there’s no need to ignore me then.”  

“I haven’t been ignoring you, have I?” 

“You tell me. I’m just pre-empting it is all. I’m just saying we can still interact, you and me, if we need to. Like, it doesn’t always have to be in social settings with other people around.” He took a final drink from his bottle and turned to locate the recycling pot stashed away in the corner. Even with a mundane task, he always looked cool doing it. 

“So don’t worry about it.” 

“Alright then. That’s good to know.” She shot him a raised eyebrow which he caught and returned with a sly smirk. “I’m just trying to be sensible. We have to get this right or else there’s no point.” 

“I know, I get that, too.” If he wasn’t attempting to be serious before, he was now. He had a hand on his hip and seemed to have grown a few inches in height. “What do you think I’m trying to say?” 

“I…think I’m on the backfoot again and it’s weird.” She held a hand up in defence. 

“Hey, I’m just doing what we agreed, OK? I’m just following your rules.” 

“They’re not rules.” She struggled to regulate the volume in her voice in case she disturbed Shanna. “And you’re making it sound like I’m controlling the situation when I’m not. We both agreed on this. There’s no point being difficult about it.” 

Was he being difficult? Yes. Obviously, he was. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling but happy definitely wasn’t it. Things were out of sorts and he hadn’t been able to eat carbs or sugar for four days so the withdrawal symptoms certainly weren’t helping. He should go easier on her. She was doing the thinking for the both of them. He should learn to be more grateful for that. 

He scratched the back of his head and let out an audible sigh in frustration. “I’ll try harder, I promise. We’ve got that cabin thing coming up with Mom, so…I promise I’ll be good.” 

He imitated the scout salute and she smiled at him, a smile not quite reaching her eyes. 

* 

Another night shift and Audrey and was starting to get suspicious. No one willingly switched for a night shift. For one thing, there was a disproportionate amount of recovery time. A couple of night shifts often took in excess of a week to recover from; a week that a nurse definitely did not have to spare. 

“He been buggin’ you?” she asked, finally growing tired of the silence. 

“Who?” Sarah looked up from the cabinet. “No, not really. We haven’t really spoken.” 

“So why are you ignoring him?” 

“I’m not ignoring him! Why does everyone think that?” 

“Who’s everyone?” 

Crap. Audrey had her there. Sarah open and closed her mouth without a sound coming out. She took a breath. “He’s not bugging me. He’s not. I’m just trying to limit the times we’re in the same place at the same time.” 

“Huh, you’d think he would at least allow you to have peace in your own home.”  

“Well, to be fair, he hasn’t been around all that much, but…at least I don’t have to worry about him showing up unannounced. It’s stupid but I feel way more awkward about him than I thought I would. It’s like I can’t even stand to be under his gaze.” 

Audrey glanced at her friend, wishing she could offer some words of comfort. Even for someone as verbose as she normally was, she was finding it a struggle. Sarah wasn’t much looking for words of comfort at the given time either. She was all too aware of the predicament she was in and how much responsibility laid at her feet. In her mind, waiting it out was the only logical solution she could come up with. The only logical solution that didn’t require more conversations with someone who could feasibly run rings around her “theory” that if they just stayed apart for a little while, they would suddenly and magically forget about the past couple of months. 

They stayed filing documents in silence again, the air seemingly getting thicker. 

“You ever spoken with someone and it’s like they’re thinking the complete opposite of what’s coming out of their mouth?” Sarah huffed while shoving the cabinet drawer closed. 

“Not really. That person’s usually me.” 

“But why?” she asked. “Why can’t you just be normal?”  

“I mean, it’s not my go-to response of course. It’s normally reserved for occasions when I am trying to indulge someone because I know they’re talking bullshit. Like, when I know Mike has been gambling but he tries to deny it? It’s just easier to figure him out that way.” 

Sarah froze to the spot, looking at her friend. She breathed a heavy sigh and turned to lean back on the table behind her and crossed her arms. She stared at her shoes for a second. 

“Chris is a smart guy. I’ll give him that.” Audrey muttered loudly so she was sure Sarah could hear. 

“Give me something! I’m your friend here.” She implored her before chuckling to herself at Audrey’s face and her own apparent lack of self-awareness. 

“You know what I think? You’ve probably got withdrawal symptoms from the all the amazing sex you’ve had and now you’re sulking. I think you should get back on that horse and let him fuck you again. That’s what this is.” 

Sarah eyed her friend again. For once, she would love to hear someone tell her that she was right. “That’s really not helping, y’know.” 

“And this is?!” Audrey’s shriller tone cut through the dry air, smacking Sarah right in the face. “Honey, this isn’t healthy. You hiding out in the hospital and treating it like your own solace is not healthy at all. I love you but you are your own worst enemy.” 

“Alright, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for your unswerving efforts to be honest with me at all times and not, like a normal pal, be comforting in any way.” Sarah comically bowed to her friend before considering leaving the office. She would have followed through with the idea as well if it wasn’t for the cosy warmth of O’Brien’s office versus the coldness of the ER department thanks to a leaking pipe. “It’s difficult. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna fall out with you, Audrey.” 

Audrey just smiled at her. “I don’t know why you think you have to be the beacon of morality all the time, Sarah. Take a look around. No one else is. We all out here just trying to live our lives as best we can and a part of that is taking advantage of moments of happiness when we find them.” 

Something about what Audrey was saying did resonate with her but comparing two months of happiness with Chris to ten years with Shanna was not something she could in good conscience do. Shanna was her security blanket. She provided a comfort of living with someone with shared life experience, of knowing how little you thought about yourself because you were given up as a baby. Honestly, from the very first day they had met, Sarah felt lucky to know her. 

Yes, Shanna could be immature at times. Maybe a little selfish. She would often get carried away with trivial things and wasn’t the most reliable person, but what Sarah got in return was worth that and more. Her family enjoyed highlighting the maternal care Sarah would have to provide to someone who was seven months older than she was, but honestly it didn’t matter. 

Maybe this was one of the rare occasions where Audrey was wrong. 

Chris was a fling at best, Sarah told herself, when she was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep. When she was cold and missing his arms around her. They were both having shitty times and they both got something out of it. That was what Chris had said himself at the very beginning. 

Chris 08.15am: You home? Shanna said you were working late again 

It was like he knew she would be thinking about him. 

Chris 08.17am: I really dont want u ignoring me all the time. This is hard for me right now as well 

Fuck. 

Sarah 08.21am: I kno. I’m so sorry I made you feel like that :(

He didn’t respond. She thought she saw the tell-tale three dots of him writing something but nothing appeared. Giving up on sleep, she got up and headed into the kitchen. Shanna had left her some bacon in the fridge and a fresh bread bun on the side so she turned on the grill and set about making some coffee. 

She felt strangely awake for this time and the apartment was nice and warm from the bright sunshine streaming in from all corners. Maybe a run would help. Or a cold shower.  

Chris 08.44am: I wanna be honest with u but I dont think u want that 

Chris 08.45am: so what do i do?? 

Fuck knows. 

Chris 08.51am: Can I come over? 

Sarah 08.54am: that’s not a good idea 

Chris 08.55am: cos you know what will happen? 

Chris 08.56am: what does that tell you?? 

She was sure he was nursing some kind of hangover or, quite possibly, he was still a little bit drunk. There were two responses she could give, she figured. The first would be her usual denial and perhaps an excuse that she was busy or working later than planned. The second, and ultimately the one she opted for, was to agree with him. 

Sarah 09.05am: I know what it tells me. That’s why I’m saying you shouldn’t come over 

Another three dots followed. There was only so many times they could go around and around in circles and as much as Audrey’s words made sense to her, it felt like she had to make the effort to regain some normality. 

He didn’t respond. She stared at her phone for an age but nothing came through. Maybe he got the message? Maybe he had fallen asleep. She was both relieved and suspicious; Chris wasn’t someone who backed down from an argument when he thought he was right. He had said as much himself. 

She turned the grill off, having lost her appetite. A run might make more sense and could help clear her head. 

She couldn’t sit around waiting for Chris to make his next move. 

*

[toomanyfandoms02]

Memories // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

Sixth blurb request! For @paniconthepitch Requests are still open!

I know this was suppose to be a blurb, but I got carried away soooo :) enjoy that.

I really like this one guys

Summary - Readers boyfriend breaks up with her and she heads to Matthews house, where she recalls all the times she knew she was in love with Matthew.

Word Count - 2.7k

Prompts - "Just shut up and kiss me." & "I need a place to stay."

You know those days where you think they are going so well, and suddenly, the worst possible outcome of the day happens?

That was today for me.

After such a great date night, I didn't quite imagine myself walking down my boyfriends street crying.

Or should I say ex-boyfriend.

I trudged down the road, my fists clenched at my sides and head held as low as it could physically go without detaching from my body. I knew that moving in with him was a risky move, but I didn't have much choice. I had been kind of couch surfing for a while and he offered to let me stay at his house. A stable roof over my head.

Or so I thought.

Now here I was, heading in no particular direction with only a small suitcase dragging behind me, a wallet in my hand and a phone in my pocket. I had been walking for about 20 minutes. Turning down random streets, not really paying attention to what was happening. Here's another question for ya.

Have you ever heard of the saying, 'When it rains it pours.'?

Well I have. And I am currently experiencing it. Just as I turned onto what seemed to be the first familiar street I had seen in the past 20 minutes, it started *raining*. But not just sprinkling, no, I wasn't that lucky. It was a total downpour.

I looked up at the green sign above me.

*Oakland Street*

That was Matthew's street!

See, Matthew and I had been friends for a long time. I considered him family. His mom and my mom were great friends, and still are. She visits Marilyn still. But I rarely see him anymore, he's always busy filming which is completely understandable. And now your probably thinking.

*If he was such a good friend, why didn't you ask him for help when you were couch surfing?*

Well the short answer is that I was embarrassed of being basically homeless. I look up to him and I didn't want him thinking I was a lost cause or helpless little girl.

But I had no choice now.

I trudged up to his door in my now soaked clothes. I was still crying, despite me *really* trying to hold it together.

It was 9:38 and I was hoping he was still up. Chances are he was, judging by the many sleepovers we had in the past where he would stay up until 4 am. I knocked softly on the door, backing up a few steps from it. I wiped my face a little, trying to dry it from tears and raindrops, but miserably failing.

The door opened slowly to reveal Matthew in plaid pajama pants and a white tee. As expected, he was holding a cup of coffee, which he quickly set down on a table near the door.

"Y/n?" He tilted his head, not coming out of the doorway. I was sure I looked like quite the mess right now. Soaked clothes, flushed face, messy hair, exactly what I *didn't* want him to see.

"I need a place to stay." I was now looking down, tears welling up in my eyes again from sheer embarrassment. I could feel my fists clenching together, nails sure to leave bruises in my hand.

"Come in, come in." He waved me in. I kept my head down as I walked through his door. "Are you alright? What happened?" I had a problem with Matthew where I just couldn't lie to him, it had been like that all our lives. He was so hard to keep things from, whether it was because he was my best friend or because it was so hard to look into those soft brown eyes and tell a lie.

"I've been living with Ben for a while, because I haven't exactly had enough money to keep up with rent payments... But he just broke up with me." I looked up to see pity written across his face. "Please don't look at me like that. I know it's pitiful." I leaned my head all the way back on his couch, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm not trying to show pity y/n, I'm just worried about you. Why didn't you tell me you were having troubles?" He put his hand on my knee, shaking it for an answer.

"Because I knew you would look at me like that!" I waved my hands around his face.

"Whatever you say. Just tell me what happened." As soon as I got a few words out, I was tearing up again.

*"I just don't understand Ben! I want to understand! You never talk to me anymore." I was gesturing wildly with my hands, something I had picked up from Matthew at a young age. I was trying to get my point across.*

*"I feel like I'm taking care of you y/n! I don't need a child I need a girlfriend!" His eyes held so much hate, much different from the soft green ones I had fallen for a few months ago.*

*"What are you even talking about? I just got a job Ben. I clean the house every week. I cook dinner for you, and I'm paying part of the rent! What more do you want from me?" I felt so confused and defeated, the longer I talked the quieter my words became. "If you want me to leave I will. Is this some sick, twisted way to say you don't love me anymore?" He went silent for a moment.*

*"I don't love you anymore." His arms hung heavy at his side. Are you kidding me?*

*"Did I do something wrong?"*

*"You're just, you're hard to love y/n." What the fuck is that suppose to mean?*

*"Fuck you Ben! I did nothing to you." I ran to our shared room, packing my suitcase and grabbing my charger and wallett from the side table. "You are a real piece of work." I could feel my body aching from mental exhaustion. "I'll be back to get the rest of my stuff another day." I stood by the door, grabbing the handle. "Hopefully if I'm so hard to love, I won't be so hard to get over."*

"And that was the last thing I said to him." Matthews thumb wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"You don't have to apoligize for having emotions y/n. I'm here for you, always." He had first said this to me when we were in middle school, I thought that was the sweetest thing a teenage boy could say. "You can stay here as long as you want, I miss seeing you around anyway." He smiled, pushing some hair behind my ear. I set my head on his shoulder. It was really hard talking to him about this stuff. I think the real reason it was so hard to lie to him, was because it's hard to lie to someone you are *so* in love with.

Matthew seemed to be out of reach my whole life. It wasn't that he was massively popular, or that we were part of different cliques. It was really just because I thought he could never see me as anything more than a friend.

When I was 13, that's when I fell in love with him. I just didn't know it at the time.

*"Y/n this is so great! I can't believe I got the lead!" Spencer was spinning in my swivel chair that sat at my desk.*

* "I've always told you that you we're good at acting. Maybe you'll be an actor?"*

*No way! I'm gonna be a lawyer or something." He nearly fell from the chair laughing, as if the proposition of being an actor was so out of this world. There was a sparkle in his eye that I had never seen before. It was so refreshingly different from the days he had come to me after school, telling me that some assholes were pushing him around.*

*"I'm so happy for you, you're gonna do amazing! You better not leave me when you're famous." I shoved his shoulder playfully. That was truly a joke, but I could feel, deep in my subconscious, I was afraid that maybe he would.*

*"I would never!" And he didn't.*

But I couldn't do anything about how I felt.

"I don't wanna be a burden on you." I had stopped crying, but I was still slumped on the couch like a wet rag, *literally*.

"You could never be a burden on me. Here." He handed me a picture frame from his side table. It was of me and him when were were 22, it was a surprise party I threw for him. "Do you remember this?"

"How could I forget the first time I got you drunk?" And the night I realized I was in love with you *for sure*.

*Matthew had refused to get drunk on his 21st birthday. He was so responsible that it was nearly infuriating. So when he texted me telling me that someone came up to him on the street and offered him a modelling job, I knew I had to throw a party. Just me him and some of our friends.*

*I led him into my house with 4 of our other friends there. There was a seemingly illegal amount of liquor on my dining room table.*

*"Oh no! Y/n no, you're not gonna get me drunk!" He looked down at me disapprovingly. I stuck my bottom lip out, and gave him puppy dog eyes.*

*"Please Matthew? Just one time? I wanna know what kind of drunk you are." My puppy face turned into a slightly mischievous one.*

*"What kind of drunk I am?"*

*"Yeah! Like sad drunk, funny drunk, angry drunk, sleepy, reckless, philosophical. I wanna know!" I giggled, dragging him over to the table and already pouring him a shot.*

*"Fine, just one time."*

*And I did find out what kind of drunk he was.*

*A lovey drunk.*

*"Brian. You are the coolest person I know!" Matthew slurred, leaning over to our mutual friend. "And Katie is the funniest." He pointed to Katie. "And you! You are my favorite person in the whole world, you know that?" He was now laying in my lap, his head looking up at me.*

*"You are a mess." I laughed, patting his cheek.*

*"I am not a mess! I'm totally coherent! I love you so much! Look at you!" He sat up, kissing my cheek. I'm glad he was drunk because I didn't want him to remember the dark shade of red my cheeks turned afterward.*

*I loved this man, and it was kicking me in the ass.*

"A lovey drunk you called me." He chuckled as I gripped the frame.

"Do you remember all the things you said that night?" I half smiled, remembering the kiss om my cheek.

"Not really, to this day I live in blissful ignorance."

"Well today is the day you know." I giggled, crossing my legs on the couch and facing him.

"Wait! Before you tell me of all the dumb things I did that night, let me get you some dry clothes." He stood from the couch, heading to his room.

"Thank you!"

He came back holding and NYU hoodie and some sweatpants. I snatched them from his arms with a big smile and headed to the bathroom to change.

The only time before that I had worn his clothes was freshman year after an asshole from school pushed me in the mud while we were on our way to study at Matthew's.

*Matthew and I were walking side by side on the walkway, talking about random things.*

*"If you do get a cat, what are you gonna name it?" Matthew asked, keeping his eyes forward.*

*"I think I would name it Leo. After Leonardo DiCaprio, he's a dreamboat." He looked at me with an eyebrow raised.*

*"Really? That dork?"*

*"Says you! You're a huge dork!" I nudged him into the road with a laugh.*

*Just then I heard loud and fast footsteps coming from behind us. Suddenly large hands were shoving me into the nearest mud puddle. I gasped at the cold liquid that was soaking through my jeans and yellow shirt.*

*"Nice outfit y/n!" The asshole laughed, running down the sidewalk.*

*"Fuck you Ricky!" Matthew threw up his middle finger and helped me out of the mud. "Come on, I'll give you some clothes at my house."*

*When we arrived he handed me sweatpants and a Nirvana shirt. I changed into it and Matthew probably laughed for 10 minutes straight. I was pretty short around that time, and Matthew had just had his growth spurt. To make a long story short, I was swimming in those clothes.*

I was now staring at myself in the mirror, wishing I had the chance to get use to the feeling of wearing his clothes.

"Okay! Time to remember an embarrassing night Gube!" I shouted, feeling far better now that I was in warm clothes. I plopped onto the seat, scooting next to Matthew. "Alright. Now what do you wanna know first?" I set my chin in the palm of my hand.

"So, what exactly is your definition of a lovey drunk?" He mimicked my position.

"A drunk who is very kind. They are constantly complimenting everyone around them and expressing their love and fondness. Can even turn a sad or angry drunk to a happy one." I shrugged.

"Okay, fair enough. What did I say that night?" I smiled evily.

"Ok, well, you told Brian that he was the coolest person ever. And Katie was labelled the funniest ever. You gave Mallory ten bucks for all the advice she had given you in the past. And you hugged Alex for around 5 minutes straight." The image of Matthew swaying with Alex was clear in my memory like it happened yesterday. He threw his head back him laughter, his face reddening with slight embarrassment.

"Did I say anything to you?" He stared into my eyes like he was going to find the words there before they came from my mouth. I rubbed my hands together.

"Uh, yeah. You told me that I was your favorite person in the whole world." He smiled at that. "And then I told you that you were a mess. But you informed me, so graciously, that you were *not a mess* and *totally coherent*. Then proceeded to say 'I love you so much! Look at you!' And you kissed my cheek." I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, I was now looking down at my hands.

"Well you are my favorite person in the world," He tilted my chin up with his hand. "still. Maybe I'm an honest drunk."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Maybe I'm an honest drunk who was just sober enough to be too nervous to kiss you on the lips?" It came out as a question, I wasn't sure if he was genuinly asking a question or he was saying that that is *exactly* what happened. I'm hoping for the latter.

"What do you-" I was interrupted by his hand grabbing my chin.

"Just shut up and kiss me." He brought my lips to his, and of course I didn't hesitate at all to kiss back.

I ran my hands through those curls that I loved so much. His hands gripped my hips as I leaned into him more, I was so afraid that this was going to be a dream.

Like it was so many other times.

As he pulled away I kept my eyes closed, still hoping that it actually happened.

"Hey, are you okay?" He patted the side of my face lightly.

"Yeah, more than okay. How long?"

"Since we were 20. You?"

"Sometime in middle school." I snickered.

"Well either way, far too long." He put his finger under my chin again, bringing me into another kiss.

*Thanks Ben*

[brain-jarred]

Chapter 5. Cactus

Light. Not filtered through darkened glass or produced artificially. Real actual light. It was morning, and the sun was just beginning to rise. Hal began to run away from the facility, trying to cover as much distance away from it as possible. Param followed. They ran until the facility was a good distance away, and then they stopped. Hal looked at the sun, and then immediately regretted it. “Ow.” He said, rubbing his eyes. “What?” Param asked, concerned.

“The sun hurts my eyes, don't look at it.” Param just stared at Hal before also looking at the sun. They not only looked at it, they stared at it, confused. “It’s not hurting my eyes.” They said, “It must be because you still have human eyes, and I have the clearly superior robot eyes. “I dont care.” Hal said, continuing to walk. “We just escaped certain death, and we almost killed a child. I was afraid you were going to just be okay with going through with it.” “Uh.” Param looked surprised. “What!? No. I wouldn't be okay with that. I was afraid that you would be okay with it, and then I would have to go along with it.” They said, trying to hide the fact that they really didn't see any issue in it. Like it was just their job? But seeing Hal’s face back there… It made them not want to be like this.

They wondered how Hal did it, how he could be so callous yet caring. It was easy to see him as the cold one out of the two of them, it was easy to see him as the brains, and Param as the heart, but that really wasnt true. Hal still clung stubbornly onto his humanity, where Param only had small scraps of it left. Most of these scraps only remaining for Hal’s sake. 

But enough about that, they were out there. Outside. Param took a moment to look at their surroundings. The sunrise casted oranges and pinks across the sky and ground. And...sand. The ground was very sandy, and there was a strange- wait. “Oh my gosh, that's a real life cactus!” Param said, rushing over to the plant.

“Why are you like this- wait that's actually kind of cool-” Hal looked away and sighed. They had to admit, it was cool to see something new, even if it was a bit stupid to dilly dally when they were more than likely being chased right now.

“We need to focus.” He said, putting a hand on Param’s shoulder. “We can't mess around with a cactus, not when we are on the run like this.” Param made direct eye contact with Hal as they ripped off a chunk of the cactus. “Why.” Hal said exasperated. “You never know.” And then param walked away. “Wh- Where are you even going to put it?” Hal asked, following param. “Where do you think?” Param opened up their chest cavity and put the cactus in with the extra Nutrient Solution they always kept there.  “Okay then.” Hal said, accepting this. “Listen. We can't get distracted by random stuff, trust me, I am also tempted to lick the sand right now, but I won't, because I have a thing called self restraint.” “Why do you want to lick the sand?!” Param questioned. 

“WE CAN'T GET DISTRACTED!!” He dodged the question. He took a deep breath. “We are in a serious situation and I feel like you're not being serious.” Param was quiet for a moment.

 “Hal.” They began. “This is the worst day of my life. Everything I have ever known has crumbled around me. I don't know what we are going to do, I don't know if I will even make it out of this alive, I probably won't. I don't have much faith in that. I just...I want to spend what little time I have left having fun with you. I just want to savor this.” They said sincerely. 

And finally they broke down. “I’m so fucking scared, Hal.” They said, wrapping their arms around themself. “I'm scared and I don't want to die.” 

Hal hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. They continued to walk as he leaned against Param. “Me too. I'm scared too.” he admitted. “I'm terrified of either of us dying. I don't want to lose you! That's why I am so focused on us getting away from that place because I don't want you to get captured.” He explained. 

“Maybe you think it's inevitable that they're gonna get us - and maybe it is- but look at us right now! Look at how far we’ve gotten. This is the farthest we've ever been from that place. I say that we keep pushing our luck. We can savor everything when we are safe.” Hal said, offering a reassuring smile with his eyes. Param thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. You're right. Let’s get to walking then.” “We are already walking.” Hal said, trying to lighten the mood. “You know what I mean.” Param smiled.

And so they walked. And walked. And walked. The sun rose and it bore down upon them, Param was unaffected by the heat, but Hal was another story. “Slow...slow down.” Hal said, stumbling after Param. His movements were sluggish, the two had been walking for an hour and a half at this point. “What's wrong? Did you look at the sun again?” Param asked, concernedly looking back at Hal. Hal stopped for a moment to just catch his breath. “It's too hot out here, the sun is cooking my brain.” He was exaggerating somewhat, but it really did feel like way. The psychic ectoplasm that made up his body wasn't able to sweat or cool him down. He dropped to his knees. “Oh jeez. Uh. Hm.” Param tapped their chin. They took a moment to consider their options. “Ok! I got it.” They said, snapping their fingers. They then leaned down, and picked up Hal, who immediately stood up. “Oh, uh. No thanks.” He said, wrenching himself away. He felt weird about letting Param carry him and he would rather not deal with those emotions at that second. He stood up, willing himself not to fall over again. “Alright then, get cooked then.” Param shrugged, and then started walking away. 

Hal followed.

And so the sun continued its path in the sky, eventually after a whole day of walking and mindless conversation, the sun dipped below the horizon. “We should probably stop.” Hal said, resting a hand on a rock. He looked really haggard, and his body was goopy. It left a blue residue on the rock where he sat his hand. “Yeah...I’m getting a bit tired.” Param admitted. They sat down. They were slightly nervous when the sun began to set, they didn't like the dark very much, but it was okay since the moonlight illuminated the desert well enough. Still, it put them on edge despite this. They didnt know why they were afraid of the dark. Hal also sat down, his lab coat was stained blue with all the sweaty psychic residue. He leaned back and sighed, glad to finally be out of the heat. A few stars poked out of the sky, tiny white dots in a sea of indigo The two just sat there for a few moments. The desert was quiet, and the research facility was far beyond the horizon, that place the two had lived in for the entirety of their living memories was out of sight now. Param was starting to regret leaving. Sure, killing an innocent child wasn't something that they liked, but she had only been one person! The rest of the people that they did vivisections on were guilty or already dying, it was fine! Everything had been fine. Param turned away from Hal, and sighed. Why? Why had such a simple look made Param throw away their entire work life? Now they were stranded in the desert, with no real sign of civilization. Maybe Param should have just ignored it. Maybe they should have shot Hal a glare, mentally told him to suck it up, and went through with the procedure-

“Hey Param? Can I have some of those uh- solution packets?” Hal asked, interrupting Param’s ugly thoughts. “Oh- Sure.” Param took out one of the packets and handed it to him, they then looked away into the distance, back the way they came. They looked and saw no sign of civilization, no sign of home. They just wanted to go home, and wanted this nightmare to be over. They just wanted a world where they weren't so impulsive, so reckless and foolhardy that they threw a fucking bonesaw at Dr. Brian. Dr. Brian was pretty nice, despite his cold exterior, Param knew that. They knew that this was the wrong way, this was the wrong path to take. But there was no going back. And so they laid down their head and sighed, trying to ignore Hal’s presence, trying to ignore the part of them that didn't regret it at all.

[katsmonsterblog]

Guardian Monster

Hello! 

So this was a Monster Matchup requested by @thedyingredrose for a donation she sent me! She wonderful and requested a non romantic story with my monster OC Chevelle :3

It was only supposed to be a snippet up to 1,000 words buuuuut I got a tad bit carried away... ^-^;

So here is a monster x reader story about meeting Chev for the first time!

Warnings: Nightmares, slight panic, general creepy stuffs

Word count: 2111

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Terror raced through your veins, your legs pumping and your chest heaving as you tried to claw at the door in front of you. You had to get out, panic bleeding out of every pore, your fingers numb and you were running out of time! You had.. you had to... breathe! Oh god... you couldn’t breathe! You stopped wrenching at the doorknob that you knew wouldn’t open, gasping and sobbing as you sank to your knees. It was always like this, your body not listening to you, the fear that followed you and threatened to consume you like a wave and no matter how fast you tried to run or move, it was like you were wading through mud, making your legs heavy and weak. 

A scream sounded behind you and your body seized up. Don’t look. God don’t look behind you. It was as if every fiber in your being was screaming and yet against your will, your body turned, so terribly slow and then suddenly you were face to face with it. Human, or that’s what it appeared to be, but the face was off, warped and wrong, its mouth hanging open to scream again. The sound masked your own cry of terror, and as it swung, arms reaching for you.. 

The dream froze. 

You couldn’t comprehend what you were seeing, as the terror around you slowly faded, the monster that had been reaching for you dissolved into dust and the world around you whited out into nothing. It was then that you saw it, a large, impossibly huge beast with fur so deep black that the stark contrast made you pause. Heaped on the floor, you watched, unable really to do much else. Walking on all fours, it turned to look at you, an enormous white skull with tall branching antlers and what looked like eight glowing yellow eyes stared through you. It should have terrified you, this huge beast like thing, but the terror from the dream had faded.. And all you felt then, was a calm relief as you woke up in your bed. 

Though it felt like your heart was still trying to hammer its way through your ribs, and your shaky breaths came to a heaving sigh, the dream left you wondering. What was that creature? No not the nightmarish thing that screamed but the one that… took it away. Something about it seemed... familiar? Comforting even. You couldn’t place it and as you got out of your warm bed, heading to the bathroom then the kitchen to make a late breakfast. The next few days went by and the dream went out of your mind with all the stress that your life and your job and your family put on you. The only thing that made it better were those little moments where you’re online friends made you smile. But in the end… you headed to bed alone again, and the nightmares still came. One morning, as you woke, you swore that there was a huge figure in your room, right at the edge of your bed, and your heart leapt to your throat as you sat up with a gasp… but nothing was there. 

The creature. It had to be the beast from your dreams that would take the nightmares away and let you get some semblance of sleep. A decision in your head, you forced yourself to get up and  go through the day normally, making a small stop at the store down the street, there was little you could do until that evening. But finally, after a long day of thinking and doubting… you had everything set. A candle beside your bed, well enough away from everything so that it wouldn’t be a hazard, and a glass of water just in case too, you laid down in bed. And waited… the only sounds were your breathing, the fan on low in the corner of the room, and your thoughts running rampant in your head. It was difficult, to lay there really, because you weren’t sure if you were going officially crazy or not but what did you have to lose? 

After what seemed like forever, at least you were sure it was past your normal bedtime, something in the room changed. Maybe the air, maybe it was your imagination but… you took a chance. 

“Hello…?  I’m.. I don’t know if this will work.. But if you’re there.... If something is there, then I just wanted to say hello.” You winced visibly, scrunching your face. It was easy to say that you believed in magic, and you’d experimented with paganism and witchcraft, you felt the spiritual pull of it. At least you hoped you did. But it felt odd to just speak out loud and gain no response. “Please… I know that you’ve been in my dreams. I’ve seen you.. So if you’re.. A sign? Or a guide or.. something. Could you.. Give me a sign? More of a sign, let me know you’re there? I’m not scared of you.” You said, the words rolling off your tongue the more you spoke because you felt that, at least if you were alone then no one could call you nuts. 

No response. At least.. Not for a few minutes but the hairs on your arms stood straight up, you heart began to pound and.. It wasn't a scary feeling, but more the feeling of being watched. Unsettling. You were about to sit up, end whatever conversation you had going on but a voice sounded from the corner of the room. 

“I… do not.. wish to frighten you..” The voice spoke from nothing, but as you turned your head, the shadows at the edges of the room seemed to shift and darken. Blurred but you knew something was there now. “But I am… here..” More silence, and then softer, “...do you wish for me to go…?” it said.  

It took several moments for you to find your voice, and with each passing second, you feared that this bubble of weirdness was a dream and you had fallen asleep but it felt too real. With a soft clearing of your throat, you sat up. Every movement you made was deliberately slow, as to not break whatever spell this was but you did, now sat crossed legged on your comforter, looking into the shadows. “No,” You said gently, licking your lips and trying to calm your racing heart. You weren’t scared but this was.. scary. In a way. “No, I don’t want you to leave… I um, well I wanted to say… thank you. For taking my nightmares away.” 

“You are curious… but I would frighten you…” It said again,and you frowned. 

“Yes.” Was all you got, and just out of the corner of your eye you could see a flash of yellow or white. You head snapped to the side.

“Do...you have a name? Can I see you? Why did you show up in my dreams?” You had to stop yourself from the myriad of questions popping up in your head. You didn’t want to offend whatever being this was and it just occurred to you that it could be a demon… if you believed in those, and maybe you should have researched beings that could be in the dream realm. There was a sound, soft but it sounded like.. bugs? Or maybe… you weren’t sure but it sounded oddly like a chittering noise. 

“I’m not scared. I promise. Unless you mean me harm?” You said, trying again to peer into the shadows. There were… several moments that passed, and you again feared that they had left you. But there was a small prickle of energy over your skin again and a shape solidified in the corner of your room. 

“I mean… no harm… I am… a protector.” it spoke, the pattern of speech was slow but precise and as it solidified, you realised why. Just like before, the creature’s face was a huge white skull, like that of a deer with large branching antlers the same shade of paper. How did it talk at all with a skull like that for a head? The voice was… male, or at least more male than female, and deeper. 

“And you protected my dreams?” You asked, fingers fiddling with the blanket almost absentmindedly. You watched as it, he, came into shape. The skull became more clear, as if a fog lifted, and you could definitely see now that the skull had not two, but eight different and nearly symmetrical eyeholes with soft yellow pupils glowing in each one. They ’blinked’ at random, as if black lids covered them but you couldn’t tell. The rest of him was covered in fur, thick and black, hanging from his too long limbs. He looked, fluffy at first glance but it was how he sat  on all fours, hunched that made him appear bigger. Well that and the tangible shadows that clung to the air around him. 

You strained your eyes to see something, anything in the shadows but each time you tried to see past the darkness in the room, the flickering flame of the candles made them dance and writhe. “It ...was you right?”

“Yes.” He tilted his head at you, and you realized he’d mimicked your own action. “I am in this world… and also the world of dreams… I can feed off nightmares that plague the innocent… make them fade…” And it made sense… in a way, how he always seemed to be there when the nightmare hit, the last thing you saw before you woke, or the dream faded completely to a semi blank one. It occurred then that you’d sort of always knew he’d been there. 

“See…? Not scary to me. What… can I call you? Like, do you have a name?” You asked again, curious now. 

“....Once… I had a name… a friend.. They called me, Chevelle.” There was a chittering sound again as he finished speaking, filling your ears like a soft static. It sounded… like bug wings almost. His jaw clicked. 

“Chevelle..? Like the car or the band?” You asked only to get another head tilt and now response. You offered a smile, introducing yourself. “Well, Thank you. And… I’m glad you’re around… Chevelle.”

Slowly, you moved, watching him a bit nervously as you crawled off the bed and he watched you in return. There was no feeling of danger, other than the small anxiousness you felt in conversing with what seemed to be a shadow being that fed on nightmare fuel, you were sure that he wouldn’t suddenly eat you. “Can I ask you something?” You wondered, sitting back down on the edge of the mattress, Chevelle close enough now that even though he was… massive, and slightly terrifying to look at, he seemed nervous too. He leaned forward, just as slowly as you had and lifted a hand… or… paw? It was like a human’s, but had the pads like a great cat on his palms. Then there were the long black claws…

A small smile graced your lips. “You’re right, but I was going to ask… do you plan… to stick around?” It had been nice to have… someone. A small hope in the seemingly constant state of grey you had been finding yourself in. “I’ll make pancakes?” you offered. Yes it was late but.. There was no way you could possibly sleep yet.

“That was a question in itself…. But yes, you may ask…” he spoke and  for just a moment… you were shocked at what seemed to be humor coming from him.  

You looked to your doorway, then to him, and back. “How will you fit through the door…?” You asked, more thinking out loud than really asking him, but in answer, he was suddenly not there. You felt a brush of warmth and then the shadows moved past you to the hallway, where you watched him appear once more. He blinked at you. 

“What are… pancakes?” He asked, your jaw dropping in response. 

“What are pan- oh I’m definitely making some now. Can you eat… you know.. Like.. human food?” you scrunched your face in question and he nodded his head. “Good. Then um, follow me?” You grinned, hopping up and moving to your bedroom door. He stood too, halfway, moving on all fours like some great dog, he even had a tail…

“Okay… well that’s neat.” You smiled, heading toward the kitchen, still a bit cautious but you were also excited. After all, it wasn’t everyday you got to meet your guardian dream monster, or be the first to feed him pancakes.

Tag list:

@serenitydusk

@thejellyflux

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@sunrisehoneybee

@ijwrff

@thedyingredrose

@bee-wrecker

@matronofthevoid

@spooky-scary-lesbian

@justwritingscibbles

@spooky-scary-lesbian

@domesticandlovingmonsters

@monstersandmaw

@monster-bait

@no-need-to-apply

@junepop45

@huffle-princess

@turquoisemagpie

@gerardwayslips

if you made it this far just know I love you all to bits. 

I hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment!!

[ladybell9095]

War/FemReader

Summary: After War had taken down the Destroyer, he would now start his search for his siblings. He tried his best to keep you secret by leaving you with Ulthane, but eventually the secret would get out. No matter what would happen the two of you would always be together like you promised.

He looked to the warrior you had become. Holding the blade, made by the Maker known as Ulthane, so strikingly well.  To think that the timid soul who was too scared to hold a blade would turn out to be someone with great prowess. Once War finished of the Destroyer he went in search for his fellow riders. You were more than ready to go with him, but he had told you that you were to stay with the Maker.

“Why?! I’m not staying here, I’m going with you.”, you shouted, wondering why War would even suggest such a thing in the first place.

“It is better that you remain here, where it is safe.” War had his reasons, but you were never meant to know them.

“I’m safer with you. I’m not staying, no matter what you say.”

The only thing that could match your skill was your stubbornness. How you two even managed to decide on anything together was still a mystery to him. “Listen to me. I am not asking you to stay, I’m telling you.”

“But why?” Your determination to go with War slowly faded from the thought of him leaving you with Ulthane. What if this stay was permanent? What if something happened if you weren’t there?

“I shall return and when I do, I shall not leave your side.” War knelt down and looked you in the eyes. “I promise.”

War always did this whenever you were in doubt or distress. His sky-blue eyes always gave the reassurance and security you needed. You obeyed War and made your way to Ulthane. On a last-minute thought, you dashed to War. Your lips pressed together while he was midway from getting up. With all the might you had you held on to him and deepened the kiss. When you went for air you laid you head onto his shoulder. “Be safe.”

“I will.” War wrapped his arms around you before releasing you to the Maker. “Keep her safe Ulthane. If anything were to happen to her, you will pay the ultimate price.”

Ulthane frowned at the threat. “No need for hostility. I’ll make sure the lass never leaves my sight. Makers word.”

You stood behind the Maker and watched War go in search for the other Horsemen. When War looked back you gave waved goodbye and waited until he returned like he promised. A day had passed since you last saw him. You weren’t sure of how long he would be gone. It scared you when you weren’t by his side. You did fear for him, but not as much as you feared for yourself and how lonely you’d be again if he were to disappear.

As the days passed, they got longer. During War’s absence Ulthane decided to teach you fighting techniques used by the Makers. You weren’t all enthused about the idea, but it did kill time. After two more days War had returned. While out in the yard, training with Ulthane, you dropped your sword and ran to War. The feeling of his arms around you was very much missed.

“Your back. Did you find the others?”

“I have.”

You peeked behind the horseman and looked around to see that there was no one with them. “Where are they?”

“There are else where dealing with the demons that plague this planet.”

“Shouldn’t you be with them?” The face that War gave you said it all. “Your going to be gone again, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m not coming with you, am I?”

“No.”

“How much longer this time?”

“I cannot say, but I shall come back to check in on you when I can.” War watched as you ran back into Ulthane’s home.

“She’s real upset now.”

“It is best that she stays here.”

“Is it now? Don’t seem that way if you ask me.”

War scowled to the Maker. “I didn’t.”

Knowing that talking with you would only do worse and also how he was pressed for time, War set off again.

“Horseman!” The thunderous voice halted Wars steps. “If you keep doing this to her she may just go off on her own to find you.”

“That is why I left her in your care. I know with the protection you give her you wouldn’t let that happen.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” Ulthane began to remember his time during the Destroyers rein and how he tried to help humanity before leaving it in the care of Fury. When it came to you, he would show you the same kindness and protection he offered to your kind before you.

“Maker. I thank you for looking after her.”

War visited like he said he would, but only to check in on you. The times he came were at random too. When he would arrive while you still slept, he’d check on you long enough just to see that you were sleeping soundly. When you were awake, he would assess your training you learned from Ulthane. It was enough to get by and not worry about him. Still you wanted to be with him like the two you were supposed to, liked he promised to you long before starting this whole Destroyer business.

Today would be the day that War would retrieve you. While helping Ulthane with forging new weapons, the Maker sensed an overwhelming presence. Ulthane laid his working hammer down, and grabbed his preferred weapon, The Black Hammer. “Stand behind me lass. We got company.”

Judging by the number of footsteps, there was a small group of uninvited guests. When there was silence the door began to creak open. When Ulthane saw that it was War he lowered his weapon and stood aside to show you that there was no threat.

“You’re back!” Behind War were more people you havent seen before, frightening looking people. Their staring eyes kept you frozen in place.

“Sure, why not bring more company into my house. The more the merry.”, Ulthane said sarcastically.

“Is that how you treat a friend Ulthane. Here I thought we had something special.”, the gunslinger spoke making his way to the Maker. When he passed you, he shouted to his sister, “You missed one Fury.”

“I did not miss any. Besides at the time it was not my job to find all of them. Of course I wouldn’t find all of them.” Fury didn’t even make eye contact when she passed you. She was filled with guilt at the thought of missing one human who was left to fend for themselves in this chaotic world.

You stared at the two who chatted with Ulthane like they were friends who had not seen each other in a while. A heavy hand turned your gaze away from the two. “War. You came back.”

“I would never break my promise to you.”

“I know. I’m just glad you’re back.” Your presence brought a joyous feeling to War, as well as War bring the same feeling. “I learned some more moves while you were gone. I’d really like to show you.”

“Let’s see them.”

“Okay, but not here. Let’s go outside.”

When the two of you left Death kept his stare on the two of you. He went to follow you and to confront War on the issue he had with him being with a human. When he left Strife, Fury, and Ulthane watched as the three went outside.

“What do you think he will say to War?”, Fury asked.

“Without a doubt it will be about that girl. I really hope Death knows what he is doing because one wrong word and Wars going to flatten him.”

“I wouldn’t be worry about him. I’d be worried about the lass. If Death plans to do anything, you’ll be sure she’ll put him in his place. No matter how scared she is of him.”

Outside you were showing off your new moves to War. He sat himself at a rock nearby, but not to close. He wouldn’t want to interrupt you showing off to him. It was one of the things he found cute about you after all. During a certain set of moves you would make mistakes because it has been a while since you were practicing in front of War. Though with each mistake you would just start over until you got it right.

Watching you brought a smile to War, one that Death was fortunate enough to see. “War.”

His smile went away and went back to his harden state. “Brother.”

“How long has she been with you?”

“When the Council framed me for starting the apocalypse.”

“It’s a miracle that she stayed alive as long as she has.”

“What have you come to tell me?”

“The way the girl approaches you I assume that you are more than just acquaintances.”

“My relationship with her shouldn’t matter to you.”

“Not to me, but to what we do. She cannot come with us.”, Death said dryly.

Wars iron gauntlet balled into a fist. “I made a promise to her and I intended to keep it.”

“Surely she will perish if she were to travel with us.” War chuckled. “Hmm?”

“I thought the same exact thing when I met her. I never meant to get as close to her as I already have. She refuses to stay away from me for to long and will do anything to stay by my side.”

“She sounds stubborn.”

War gave a boisterous laugh that caught your attention as well as Deaths. “She is very stubborn.”

Death never seen his brother laugh in such a way, not even in their days during the Nephilim conquest. “Are you willing to risk her life, just so you can hold on to this interfering relationship.”

“The only one interfering is you brother. I will do anything to protect her whether it be demon, angel, maker, or even my brothers and sister.”

“I hope you will be able to live with your choice.”

“It is not only my choice, but hers as well.”

You slowly made your way to War, staying as far away from the tall pale one as possible. “What were you laughing about? Did I mess up that badly?”

“No, you did great. I’m very proud.”

“Thanks.”

Blushing like crazy from War’s praise and the smile his little brother gave you was proof enough that no matter what Death had to say, he wouldn’t come between the two of you. In secret he would make sure to that the others would not get in the way or question what you two had found in each other.