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habunshu · 2 years

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just read an interview sara hess did recently and she’s talks about aegon and him raping dyana and the way this entire thing reads is just so…..not to mention in the same interview she throws daemon under the bus and says he’s a bad father when the episode she wrote she chose to cut out the scenes with him comforting his daughters and chose to add in how he ignores rhaena

[saying this all having seen ep10 leaks, and saying this all with words from HBO that they plan to release a “pristine cut” from earlier today- whatever that means, so by the time this “cut” is released some mass-disliked moments may have been retconed or scenes added]

[mention of SA, R*pe in regards to Aegon’s writing]

[mention of traumatic childbirth and death from childbirth]

I have so many many thoughts about not only Sara Hess but the whole writing team. This is LONG, and thank u very much for sparking my thoughts with this ask!

HOTD has, fallen out a lot with me post episode 5/6, I remember thinking what a fantastic start it was off to when I watched episode 1, and the moment it’s established that the writers and directors are NOT collaborating between episodes, and each hold very different understandings of each character they portray- it’s become a quick recipe for disaster. Im not going to nitpick every part of the season, I’m well aware this show plans to overarch multiple seasons, but I am still going to discuss it from a standalone story due to how long each season takes to produce.

1. Complications from writing teams, and contrasting GRRM’s base material:

HOTD and F&B being separate narrative points and existing as different validity tales is something that is perfectly fine, I am used to discussing validity of secondary reports of historical content through my degree, and HOTD is a very good medium (as it is VISUAL instead of written) of attempting to show this tale from inside the House itself- what dissonance occurs is due to fondness over the staple violence and power hungry violence of these Westeros Nobles that creates interesting fantasy grandeur. A lot of people enjoy spectating these awful powerful people commit horrible acts in their own interests and family allegiances; Cersei, Daemon, Otto, and others are fascinating anti-heroes and antagonists due to their setting to allow for large-scale atrocities to physically vent their ambitions and goals.

The Dance of The Dragons (in the Books) is this horrific and tragic death for petty self importance, untreated family trauma and paranoid self-hardening that continues and grows with each generation of the Courts is bound to snap on-top of someone’s shoulders at some point, just around 80 years of RELATIVE “peace” under King Jaehaerys I and Viserys I (55+26 if i’m not mistaken). And such a King born of peace wanting to prolong it (Viserys I) is almost a perfect breeding ground for power hungry leeches to start grappling for the Throne (Otto).

So when the bricks start to crumble and we have expectations of drama and bloodshed, true to GRRM’s writings, it’s not a change in certain plot points that is objectively bad (some are better- Sara Hess respects Laena as a woman of 2 Valyrian Houses dying of her own wish instead of before she can on the staircase), it’s misconceptions of what purpose each character serves between writers that makes each episode clunky, snowballing into the season looking like a puzzle I slapped together from mis-matched pieces I found my desk draw.

Almost all characters if not between back to back episodes, from the beginning to the end of the season have moments that straight up do not make sense compared to who they are established as.

This reaches a more frustrating point when we see the overarching trend of almost all Female main characters be softened and be removed of their personal wants. (In the Books) Rhaenyra and Alicent are two amazing narrative foils; Entitlement vs Want, Power (Dragons) vs Intelligence. These are two women who have lost their childhood sense of female unity and joint suffering, with their in-book ages, Rhaenyra looses an older female figure and Alicent looses a companion and a major representation of her own lost girlhood.

When Alicent becomes just a high-strung pawn for her father, her son placed on the throne without her involvement or knowledge, still holding onto her girlhood she becomes a beautiful tragic figure and Olivia does he’s SO MUCH justice- but at the cost of her being this beautiful antagonist and individual.

When Rhaenyra becomes with unsure and overwhelmed girl-heir, becomes someone who only began to learn the knowledge a monarch requires at her late teens instead of being named heir before she was 10, she’s no longer a strong Targaryen that wants what she has been told her whole life is hers- but a bumbling princess who is asking for permission to wear her fathers crown.

Rhaenys, Baela and Rhaena are moved aside and the young daughters of Laena are given barely any content besides smiling politely. Helena I will say seems relatively untouched, we see a girl in her own solitude with a mother who gave birth way too young and doesn’t know how to be one. A true tragic figure after being sentenced to being a royal womb and looses her child over evening the scales-

[EP10 LEAK- RETCON OR CORRECTION ON OFFICIAL RELEASE UNKNOWN] If Aemond does end up a Kinslayer by technically, Vhagar attacking in retaliation with him being unable to control her after Lucerys in turn doesn’t control Arrax spitting fire first when fleeing to return to his mother. It does work in favour of Aemond being subjected to harsh consequences for either defending himself or completely against his wishes. But again we loose what is one of the most vicious combatants of the civil war, as well as the intent of Helena loosing her own child not matching up. “A Son for a Son”, but to even it out Helena’s child needs to die by accident in return. This also contrasts Aemond’s character of a bloodthirsty prince, he WANTS Lucerys dead, his own half-nephew took his eye, why does he care that the Baratheon wants blood outside of his home instead of infront of him. He’s the Kings Brother, Rider of Vhagar.

This change of intent to misunderstandings does create its own dynamic, but the lack of a cohesive plot and character purpose creates this mess that takes the Dance from:

“This family have become horrifyingly self-entitled and power-drunk due to their dragons, and will do whatever to fulfil their own wants, even killing the Dragons they owe their power to. There is a division between Kin and Family and Kin will be sacrificed if one can gain from it.”

To: “The Sheer Number of Aegons and lack of critical thinking has made so many deaths meaningless.”

The writers seem so scared of writing women with intent and purpose and power, Rhaenyra was a dragon rider at 7, 6 years before the youngest rider before her, we haven’t seen her on Syrax since Daemon steals an egg, we have powerful female Targaryens in-universe, Visenya is right there. Women in the show are mothers or soon to be married and mothers, Rhaenyra has no combat experience as a NAMED HEIR.

2. Sara Hess

She is uh, sure is something of a writer, knowing she’s responsible at least in part of EP6 and EP9 does make sense. She’s got a lot of not great comments and understandings of characters, that does do them a disservice.

The biggest offender (pun intended) is Aegon II, very surprising for a woman to romanticise such a horrific abuse of power and male identity that leads to (as Alicent implies this is not the first time he commits these acts on screen) the SA and worse of a handmaiden, and attempt to paint it as a misguided action of love. Aegon II as a character is a great way to show “A female heir could be perfect, Rhaenyra could be perfect; but will still be tossed aside in favour of a male heir that is abominable, horrible and a stain to his family’s legacy”

Is he given an unfair hand at the blatant favouritism of Viserys? yes. Is he forced into a position that he has no desire to be in until he is either:

1. In the books told that a formidable blood-spilling Rhaenyra will kill her opposition (his family and children) for the crown.

2. In the show dragged to his coronation, crying as he walks the Dragon pit, taking a position he KNOWS his father never once delegated to him.

Tom Glynn-Carney does a PHENOMENAL job with the material he is provided and tasked to act out. We can gain sympathy for him in both narrative chains without the romanticism of SA and r*pe, Tom SHOWS us a young man who turns to alcoholic tendencies due to the obvious fact his father only considers himself to be a father of one, and the fact that his mother has near infinite complex relationship with motherhood as a manipulated childbride and replacement wife that doesn’t even compare to the First Queen to her husband.

Aegon is heavily spoilt and misguided and starved of normal parents, and even as a horribly sexist man of power we can find nuance in him. Sara Hess does him a disservice by saying he “loved” Dyana, if you want to write him as a sympathy figure regarding his own love outwards, it is already there in his DISINTEREST in Helaena, the choice to not want to love is a better rebellion against all his representation of love that he’s grown up with.

“Do you (Mother) Love me?” is a tragic line, it drives sympathy in itself as her firstborn son knowing she is merely 16 years older than him, not even 40 at the time of his coronation. Why make this about him r*ping a woman instead of the complex relationship the family knows Alicent has about motherhood and the loss of her own life at age 16 when Otto decides to move her representative chess piece forward?

Sara Hess’ comments that went viral, although make sense in her distaste with various Scenes of Daemon (which are STILL abstractions from GRRM and his creation of Daemon) from EP10. I am surprised at her ability to unite those who are Team Black or Team Green, but even then her involvement has more downsides to this opportunity of story telling that positives.

A particular comment of hers that I didn’t appreciate in the slightest was her input on (Book) Rhaenyra growing fat after having 5 children and getting older.

Extremely weird to vilify a woman of luxurious life and 5 pregnancies in Medieval times gaining weight. Whilst yes there is valid criticism of male storytelling, why lump the weight of a woman in the same category as sexism of women in power. Rhaenyra’s body has nothing to do with her as a leader or historical figure.

3. Daemon at the hands of the writers (Sara’s portrayal in particular)

GRRM has stated that Daemon Targaryen is his favourite, and I completely understand it.

Who is he? A second-born pure-blood prince, a renowned knight, rider of the Bloodwyrm, a prime Targaryen, confident, ambitious, cunning and loyal to a fault on those he considers family.

Daemon is introduced as an agent of Chaos and polarising public opinion, but still commands respect and at least was worthy enough to be handed the titles of Master and stand on the Court (but not to be earned, he is born into an almost invincible position). We see him painted as ready to take the throne as eldest male Targaryen barring the King himself, and is set at this surface level “Rogue” who dotes on the younger Targaryen at court (intentions unknown).

Ep1-4 we see he aligns more at strength for the Targaryen Dynasty, not just himself. He is a narrative foil to Viserys in attitude and tolerance, yin and yang in a way. He states that he wants to keep the crown on his brothers head steady, he sees past Otto and relays the distaste of the Hightowers that is present in Dark Sister’s original wielder.

I think a lot of people misinterpret him as selfishly power hungry, that every action has to explicitly lead to him as King on the Throne, but why not kill Rhaenyra at any point, he’s a suspect regardless due to his reputation, but he is cunning, there’s no way he couldn’t have pulled it off when she was young with how many of Aemma’s surviving babies died young- Rhaenyra herself could easily have health complications.

He is raised on the idea of their Family being omnipotent, 3 siblings conquered Westeros, who says he cannot ally himself with a select few? He gains significant back room power the way Coryls wants as a Prince consort or Hand to Viserys/Rhaenyra.

He is cruel and violent and awful and egotistical, but he holds the better part of himself for those he deems worthy. This is what makes him a compelling character, unwavering support to those he chooses. With debatable intent with Laena across book and TV stories, he is not neglectful of those he cares of. The active choice to cut scenes of him being a father, any sense of comfort, to imply he favours the daughter that has a dragon already, is nothing short of character assassination and extremely biased.

Daemon is far from a faithful, christian husband, don’t get me wrong, he ends up cheating on Rhaenyra and has fucked so many women in his life I don’t know how he hasn’t got like 34 STDs. But there seems to be an in-universe grey area on Targaryen polyamory and lovers, (Rhaenyra and Laena in book at a little, 👀) his political loyalty and service to Rhaenyra’s crown is never once faltered, he dies for her to get rid of Aemond and Vhagar (the only reason the Greens didn’t instantly die). His is this beautifully volatile and unpredictable character, but compassionate to a fault, and willing to do anything to restore Targaryen Power.

Sara Hess’ writing is far from unbiased, and deviates heavily from who GRRM wrote with such fondness, not completely unfounded, he does groom his niece and kiss her the infront of his the kids he had with his dead wife the day of her funeral. But why paint him as this deadbeat dad when he of him and his brother does not subject his wife to unnecessary pain when she will die regardless, he who does not differentiate between children of different mothers. Viserys is a chronic first-wife bias, he doesn’t care that his second son is partially blinded and instead does not revoke when Rhaenyra asks for what is essentially torture to gain insight on why Aemond called her Bastard Sons, Bastards. Why doesn’t Sara call him out on saying he only has one child, why doesn’t she say she doesn’t understand why people like Viserys at Paddy’s portrayal?

She’s incorrect in us liking him as (not my words) “daddy” because he killed Rhea Royce and groomed his niece, people with brains are aware of his faults. We like BOTH of these brothers who were overzealous in the use of brothels are young bachelor princes. We like them because of the effort Matt and Paddy put in DESPITE the writing they are shown with.

The most concrete moment of bad directing of daemon shows in his interactions with Viserys.

Matt understands Daemon at peak when he IMPROVISES Daemon stepping up as the brother protecting his weak king from Otto and himself when he picks up the crown, and supports Viserys on his way to the Throne, he could have easily left him to stumble and make a fool of himself. He wouldn’t though.

[EP10 SPOILERS] Seeing Daemon get violent with Rhaenyra, after he grabs 3 dragon eggs for her, after he marries her in secret, after he kills Vaemond for her. Is so out of character, not in his general sense, but out of character in WHO he directs this violence at. The physical scene cuts make it seem like they cut out any reconciliation, as well as the rough choking -> mocking -> going back to normal.

It gets even MORE OOC when it gets to Rhaenyra’s troubling childbirth of Visenya.

Daemon, a man who lost his mother through childbirth of his younger brother Aegon who then died in the crib.

Daemon who did not have a mother for long at all.

Daemon, who watched Viserys and Aemma loose child after child until she dies.

Daemon who watched Laena struggle and end up commanding Vhagar to kill her as an act of Mercy.

Daemon who watched his daughters not have a mother for long at all.

Daemon who watched and saw Rhaenyra not have her mother for long.

Daemon who does not stay with her during the pregnancy, Daemon who they decided to keep separate from Rhaenyra as she struggles to give birth.

It is such an out of character moment that it along with the choking scene ruins him as a man, as every episode has established.

Again he is not perfect, withholds public affection even in high-strung moments due to being cautious in court. Has killed (or at least plotted) his first wife, the whole Gold cloak scene, the grooming.

But, He if this is not changed in the “pristine” cut, it does ruin all that GRRM has established.

It speaks a lot when improvisation on the Actors speak better on the characters than the writers themselves. It speaks a lot when an improvised scene touches people more than what the writers explicitly add.

#so sorry u all had to read this but i have thoughts #and do tell me yours !!!#ask #user milfoiks #house of the dragon #HOTD #GOT #game of thrones #hbo house of the dragon #daemon targeryan #viserys targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #aemma arryn #laena targaryen #rhaenys targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #Long post #alicent hightower

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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year

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since your playing p5 whats your thoughts on the team members so far? :D

okay so! as a heads up i have already Experienced p5r so these r not initial thoughts necessarily. but i still want to rant about my favoritest kids <3 this got long so i'm putting it below the cut whoops ladkjf

ryuji! i fucking love ryuji man. i think a lot of people write him off as just the goofy sidekick character but he is SO much more to me. a lot of ryuji's trauma gets so overlooked due to the fact of him largely being comic relief, but like. that kid has gone through SO much!!!! between his father and kamoshida and his peers like. he is SO strong. i love his characterization of "people are treating me like a punk, i may as well act like it" bc it's not even him necessarily playing a role he isn't. he is a punk! he's disruptive and counter-cultural and has issues with authority. and that's punk, but also like, those are the parts of punk that society sees and demonizes. ryuji is punk not just because of that, but because he cares about others before all else and stands up for what's right no matter what, even if it means being punished for it, because he has a super strong sense of justice and is super protective over those he loves!! i feel like a lot of ryuji's character gets kind of. skipped over by a large majority of players. because his actions and presentation is very specific to fighting against japanese culture, meaning it gets lost in translation unless you're aware of japanese culture and norms. i love this boy so much <3

i have. a lot of thoughts on ann. largely her meta-treatment by the writers as opposed to her in-game self. you can find some ramblings if u scroll down my p5lb tag, bc i have. a Lot of thoughts on that aspect of her. on a lighter note, though, i fucking love ann. i think she also kind of falls into the mischaracterization of being ditzy at times. not as badly as ryuji, but ann is a very open character. she's extremely compassionate and wants to help everyone she possibly can, even at her own detriment at times, but as we're shown this sometimes leads her to being used by others. which i think leads to people making her just. overly trusting to a blind degree. or stupid. but ann is super smart! she immediately clocked that the painting was yusuke's, not madarame's, and is shown time and time again to be able to understand others' true feelings, even if they're trying to keep them hidden. i really like how she's blunt and honest, even if it comes off as harsh or insensitive. she speaks her mind! she's not going to hesitate and risk not being heard to understood! i really love that for her

i haven't gotten him yet BUT i am on madarame so. i will sneak in yusuke. because i love him. he is truly one of the characters ever. obviously he is one of The most autistic-coded characters in the game (alongside futaba). which is detrimental to an extent. bc people often just fully mischaracterize him due to his eccentricity. for me i just really love how unapologetic he is with it. that kid has never heard of masking in his life (/pos). he's one of the characters i feel for the most because like. god. he had his whole fucking world twisted. haru and makoto had similar experiences of people they'd known all their lives becoming corrupt, but like. haru's dad wasn't always like that. and neither was makoto's sister. they HAD good intentions. madarame never did. he's the closest to mirroring akechi in that sense, except akechi knew all along. yusuke didn't have that privilege. that sense of revenge. i think his story is so delicate and difficult because how do you even go about knowing your entire life was a lie? and not even in a way you can step away from. art was still his world. it's not just something he did for madarame. the knowledge of carrying that burden. of those memories that shaped you being corrupted in such a way.

morgana is there. i guess. wish he wasn't.

#muse talk #anon #p5lb #tl;dr I LOVE THOSE KIDS UR HONOR #i can. also ramble about the others. for hours #i am. very ill about them #heart <3

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woodsfae · 2 years

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Babylon 5 s01e15: Grail First Previous

ToC

Never gonna be over how ridiculously soothing it is to see these dated graphics.

MINBARI AND DELENN HOORAY. Who is this human they venerate so highly?

Jinxo! What a great name. Deuce, suits this blackmailing dick.

Deuce has a Centauri Murder Accomplice? Or is the trauma literally being touched by their Tummy Sex Tentacles?

Wtf, Kosh ALSO has tummy tentacles that look exactly like Centauri Tummy Tentacles and helps lowlifes keep their thumb on their blackmailees? That’s a … choice.

🫠

lmao I love this beleaguered judge trying to rule on century-old alien abductions on earthlings.

Aldous Gajic is the personage Lennier and Delenn are so honored to meet. And he knows he’s a bit of a personage, too. Seeking the Holy Grail! There is so much mysticism in Babylon 5 and it always sideswipes me a bit when it crops up without notice. What else is real? The shroud of christ? Is the tree that Buddha gained enlightenment underneath in some alien’s arboretum? edit: I am now re-aware of the fact that the Bodhi tree Siddhartha sat beneath is still alive! The exact same tree, or at least one that's old enough and in the right spot to be the exact tree. Trees be ANCIENT!

“How sad. He is a holy man. A true seeker. Among my people, a true seeker is treated with the utmost reverence and respect. It doesn’t matter that his Grail may or may not exist. What matters is that he strives for the perfection of his soul and the salvation of his race. And that he has never wavered or lost faith.”

This reminds me very much of the Creepy Murderous Shak Tot speech from s01e02:

“Not all. Only the special ones. Leaders, thinkers, poets, dreamers, blessed lunatics. [...] We enshrine them, we worship them, talk to them, listen to them. We learn.”

No wonder the Shak Tot are drawn to the Minbari. They cultivate and celebrate dreamers, blessed lunatics, etc.

Interesting exchange between Delenn and Sinclair. Again. All their exchanges are so laden with double meaning and hidden meaning and intrigue that I suspect Delenn is on the show so relatively little compared to Londo/G’Kar to preserve the impact she always has.

Sinclair: “I wish [Aldous Gajic] luck. He’s probably the only true seeker we have.” Delenn: “Then perhaps you do not know yourself as well as you think.”

The fondness in their eyes when they look at each other is unbearable! If I didn’t suspect from seeing gifsets that Delenn ends up with someone not-yet-on-the-show (John Sheridan, I believe. Been waiting for him to appear) I’d be frothing at the mouth at their clear, deep affection for each other.

Nothing says I can’t froth over it regardless, but it does put a damper on parts of my foaming.

Ah, Mirriam Runningdear (a fantastic name) is only mindwiped, not dead. Kosh has mindwiping abilities. Yikes. And the Vorlon are freaked out about telepaths? What in the fuck.

Perhaps Talia could reprogram Mirriam with basic knowledge and human functions instead of going the long way ‘round by painstakingly teaching her absolutely everything starting with muscle control?!

Michael Garibaldi. Why do you have to keep being such a damn cop? Violently cleaning out the slums isn’t in any way conducive to solving poverty, crime, or ending the human drive to migrate in search of a better life.

Probably safer for Jinxo’s (Thomas Jordan) health and safety to leave, but he’s frantic to stay, for unknown reasons. He’s a highly skilled space station builder and worked on all 5 Babylons. What does he know? What safety function is he providing or think that he’s providing? (he has lovely green eyes)

Desmond Muzychenko. Much better name than Deuce, really.

Jinxo firmly believes that if leaves Babylon 5, it’ll be destroyed like all the other Babylons.

“I don’t have the curse, I am the curse.”

dun dun dunn!!! I typo’ed ‘fun’ four times trying to write ‘dun,’ and I think it deserves to be written if it tried so hard to be immortalized. Fun!

Babylon 1 was destroyed by sabotage right after he took a leave. Same for Babylon 2. B3 blew up after he took leave, hence the nickname Jinxo. B4, he didn’t take leave. Left once it was done, and he watched the station wrinkle “twisted like putty, then just disappeared. The minute I left.”

Aldous: “I’d say that you have the wrong nickname. They should have called you “Lucky.” […] To have escaped the worst each time - that’s a blessing. You’re a very lucky man. Perhaps each time you were exactly where you were meant to be.” Jinxo: “I never thought of it like that.” Aldous: “We never do.”

He seems to be a very kind man.

Na’ka’leen feeder is a critter the Centauri discovered during their colonization empire stage that can mindwipe people. Is Kosh (or a mystery Vorlon, I guess) running around with a highly illegal Crime Pet? What does this mean for Centauri Tummy Tentacles?

Londo seems seriously and genuinely disturbed about one perhaps being on Babylon 5.

The Minbari are so intense about helping a Seeker. Well, the religious half of them. When the warriors agree with the religious “it is a terrible thing, a terrible power, as recent events have shown us. Let us hope it never again happens in our lifetime.”

Well that’s unnerving. And now I expect it to happen again at least once a season.

Written words cannot express how freaky the non-Kosh voice coming out of this Vorlon-esque encounter suit is. I’m guessing it is a na’ka’leen and they’re highly predatory, and unfortunately sentient.

Where did Deuce get a Vorlon encounter suit??

Why WHY are there so many tentacles lately. Did tentacle porn spike in popularity in 1994? Don’t answer that.

Third pronunciation of Gajic so far. I have a lot of sympathy for this guy. I get about the same rate of novel pronunciations per introduction ratio for my name.

Vir is one-upping the Minbari is what he’s doing. Londo would care more if he was one-upping G’Kar, of course.

Panaceas and mystical methods of healing are a big theme in this season so far. Going to be interesting to see if/when they have a breakthrough that sticks.

Aldous is a fantastic staff fighter. And so earnest about cultivating Thomas “Jinxo” Jordan as a Seeker and blessed lunatic the Shak Tot would risk their lives to collect.

That didn’t really sound like Kosh. Feeder?

Tazer to the back > staff skillz

It really must be terrifying, thinking there’s a rogue Vorlon doing the bidding of the rising Boss Thug of the underworld.

Aldous is probably the most mystical thing to happen in the show so far. Ordering a bizarre, brain sucking Dalek-alike around successfully!

Aaaand it’s escaping. Bad news for sentients everywhere. idk if it’s going to eat Aldous, or die in his arms but I’d bet on one of the two.

hm, neither. But a Holy Mission being passed on to Thomas Jordan as Aldous dies is both fitting and spooky.

“[Aldous] found what he was looking for. What we’re all looking for: a reason. […] [a reason for] Everything, Commander. Everything.”

I do hope Garibaldi loses some sleep over the Curse, though.

[Thomas’ ship jumps away] Garibaldi: “No boom?” Sinclair: “No boom.” Ivanova: “No boom today, boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow…what? Look, someone’s got to have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later,”

Please can I have some Talia/Susan content. Just a touch. Even a glance! I'm dying, I'm starving!

Onwards!

#aldous gajic #thomas jinxo jordan #babylon 5 #delenn #jeffrey sinclair #susan ivanova #woodsfae gif #woodsfae b5

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kasaneteto · 10 months

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been thinking about this guy a lot. dont read under the cut if you dont want persona 4 spoilers or dont want to hear me talk about how i used to wish this guy would do nasty things to me because of my trauma

first of all this is not a character analysis this is my very personal relationship with the character. second of all this is normally the kind of thing i would put on my private instagram but my roommate is currently playing p4 & i dont want him to get spoiled. so sorry that youre subjected to this i guess. anyways.

recently something ive realized about myself is that i am a HOPELESS romantic. i require something to pour my affections into. & if that isnt a person WELL its gonna be a fictional character. for me the adachi blorboism started right after i ended my first real “relationship”. i say “relationship” because it was less of that and more of me being groomed by a guy 5 years my senior. unfortunately, this guy was what got me into persona. he asked me to watch the p4 anime with him and that was it for me lmfao.

so wtf does that have to do with adachi. well i didnt think it had ANYTHING to do with him until recently. being in therapy has allowed me to really dissect the way my environment has manifested in my behaviors and atp im confident in saying that getting groomed is pretty much the reason i love adachi so much. groomer man was the literal definition of a nice guy, like i made a nice guys finish last joke to him once & his actual response was “but it’s true though…” and he was SO bummed when adachi was revealed to be the mastermind. he was all “ooouuhhhh it sucks because he was such a good character before that”

so i got out of that relationship, had clarity over the fact that he had been manipulating me the entire time, got my hands on my own copy of p4 (i had still only seen the anime & played arena atp) and when i got to adachi’s monologue i was like. THIS GUY IS AWESOME!!!! HOW IS HE A WORSE CHARACTER FOR THIS!!!! im realizing now that travis (groomer) probably felt very attacked by adachi’s motives. & not only that but that i felt very comforted by how blatantly evil he is. that sounds really weird so let me explain.

i saw (& honestly still see) adachi as someone who’s a product of his environment. he felt trapped & suffocated by inaba, felt mistreated by his superiors at work, and with being given access the tv world found something that he felt he could control, which was fun for him in a world of boredom, of which he felt like the victim. i related a lot to that feeling of being trapped somewhere you can’t escape from (both because of my relationship & at the time living with my parents) and really appreciated his fucked outlook on life. not like. the misogyny part. just the whole “life only favors the lucky ones” sentiment. i also saw him as a much more honest & self-aware version of travis. he knew he was doing bad things to people who didn’t deserve it, and his justifications were just “i was bored”. unlike my ex who probably still sees himself as a victim

idk! i guess the takeaway here is that there’s still so much more to me than i know. im learning new things about myself every day. im very glad to finally be on this journey of self-discovery. ive always been a really introspective person but i dont think i ever asked myself WHY? why am i like this. like actually. so im doing that now. & the answers are actually pretty fucked up! ive always played down my trauma because its what my parents and a lot of my peers did. my “best friend” as a kid (she was honestly just a bully) didn’t believe me when i told her that my parents fought. like it was so much worse than i allowed myself to believe. i played down getting groomed because I wasn’t like r*ped or anything (he touched me with my permission but no insertion happened idk if that counts as r*pe) but whenever i tell people that my parents were not only okay with it but allowed him to come visit me from Canada and STAY AT MY HOUSE….they are always shocked. because thats so fucked up! like… what!

alright ive really gone off the rails with this but in conclusion: adachi is a piece of shit and thats why i love him. he’s my disgusting babygirl. my awful little mongrel anime husbando. & you dont get him like i do

#txt #thanks for reading this if you do #its long af 🫶#my husband

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saxophones · 1 year

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What made you detransition or rather how did you realize you no longer identify as such? /gen

Well basically I went to a gender therapist per the recommendation of my regular therapist (who fully believed I was trans but she didn't feel comfortable prescribing HRT considering her lack of experience in the field). I had about 20 sessions with him and at one point after about 8 he said that based on the criteria for gender dysphoria he was prepared to write me a prescription for HRT but he wanted to know that I was comfortable with it. I realized I wasn't because giving up the possibility of having biological children hit me like a huge truck. I am aware that some trans men can get pregnant but it's not a sure thing for everyone and also the idea of being perceived as a pregnant man made me very uncomfortable (back then I would have said dysphoric, in reality I'm sure it was just the social stigma), more uncomfortable than the idea of being perceived as a pregnant woman. I am adopted and I have seen firsthand how hard it was for my mom to not have her own bio kids. She still feels sad about it even though I am enough for her. I had always planned on having kids and went through a phase when I was 15 or 16 where I was researching pregnancy in-depth. This should have been another sign I was cis lol.

Anyway so I told my gender therapist I wanted to wait and have a couple kids with a likeminded bisexual cis man or trans woman and then transition. We then spent several sessions talking about other things entirely. In my mind I still identified as a closeted trans man for another year or so but I only told my boyfriend at the time who was bi so he didn't care and I un-came out to my parents - told them it was just a phase and they were relieved. :(

While I was dating that guy, I had a huge crush on a different cis guy who was straight. With this straight guy I would fantasize about having a straight relationship and straight sex, and eventually I did start dating him but didn't really feel the desire to come out to him as trans. I felt weird about having come out to my old bf and I wished that I could just pretend to be a cis woman again to everyone I knew. At some point it occurred to me that while the obvious explanation for this is that trans identity is stigmatized, many trans people do feel relieved when they come out regardless, especially to people that are as supportive as my boyfriend and friends were. It instead occured to me that I wanted to present as a cis woman because I WAS a cis woman but I was still kind of throwing ideas around in my head, not sure what was going on.

Then I happened to go on the subreddit for OCD and they had a bunch of subreddits for specific obsessions listed in the sidebar. I didn't know what /r/tocd stood for so I checked it out and it turns out there is a pretty common subtype of OCD based on the persistent idea that you're trans despite no evidence for this or pre-existing desire to transition (I think the sub is /r/transOCD now). I read through a bunch of posts on there and it basically explained everything I had gone through in the past few years. It was an OCD-based intrusive thought like my old ideas about having to do every problem in the math textbook or having to wear purple to open my crown chakra. Unfortunately this one was spurred on by a bit of social pressure like those posts that are like, "If you even are thinking about being trans, that means you're trans, cis people don't think about this shit" and egg memes on Reddit. Obviously there is also social pressure to NOT be trans but when you've filtered your social circle so stringently that it doesn't include any bigots and therefore anyone who would pressure you to not be trans, the pressure to accept it if you're thinking about it can be stronger in reality.

Like I'm sure that a lot of people who wonder if they're trans are the real deal, a much higher number than the general population, but people with OCD should stay far away from ideas like "If you think about X you are X." OCD makes you fixate on completely random things that have nothing to do with reality, they're not necessarily things you're afraid of, just because you fixate on being trans doesn't mean you're afraid of trans people or dislike them - it just means it's something that your brain has decided to latch onto because it's stuck in a horrible anxiety loop. Maybe I was afraid of being a man in women's spaces and the anxiety that unconsciously provoked in them, or of never coming across as feminine enough, or of my hypersexuality meaning that I was some sort of failed woman. There may very well be a rational root of the obsession but unfortunately TERFs and other people skeptical of trans people existing at all will take that and spin it to be an explanation for everyone who identifies as FTM. I'm sure a lot of trans men had similar feelings to me growing up in a lot of areas but the difference is that they have male brains and I simply don't, they're happier being men socially and physically as much as possible and I am happy with the opposite. So I hope no one takes my personal experience out of its personal context. If you have any more questions feel free to ask and sorry for the novel :)

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doriandrifting · 2 years

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So last night, me and my friends were having a byler debate. One is a melvin shipper, I am a byler shipper (obvi ig), and the other one WAS a byler shipper but as the events of last night unfolded, she has now declared she can see both sides and is more or less neutral (although she did still call Mike a fruit bowl) I also was able to get my melvin friend to see the side of "melvin is bad or trashy"

anyways- both my friend's main argument against byler is that they don't see how the writers of the show could work it in well by the end of the last season without it feeling rushed or forced and to make sense to the GA because-- most people dont look through hours of hints and proof.

basically how could the writers work byler into the plot with the alotted amount of time in order for it to feel r i g h t and make sense mainly to people who dont know as much about the little stuff as bylers do

Well I made a post about how I have a theory that the letter the ST writers posted that had all those blanks and they said was written on November 6th, 1983 and signed “Love_____” matches up with Mike writing a letter to Will. The letter starts by apologizing for not getting something done -> Mike wasn’t able to finish the Dnd campaign and it was Will who was stuck in limbo with the Demogorgon until they could finish the DnD game the next weekend. And Will told Mike the truth about his roll and seemed really upset about the 7. It makes sense that Mike would write an apology letter to Will. But he signed it “Love, Mike.” But he wouldn’t have even known how significant that phrase is to him in S1, which is why the Duffers make it so that he never gets to give Will the letter.

It is only after this season, where El emphasizes that he can’t write “Love, Mike” where Mike is aware what writing “Love, Mike” means. If Mike were to recover this letter—maybe like Nancy recovered her diary entries about not being that crazy about Steve in the Upside Down in S4–we would learn that alternatively Mike has always loved Will.

This takes away the feeling of it being rushed—it was inevitable, because it was already written the very first episode. That along with the Flickergate theory about Mike and Will causing the light to go off outside the garage in S1 by something they do in the Upside Down (stuck in November 6th 1983) would make their story have an inevitability. We all saw Mike in S1 notice that strange light go off after Will walked away. If they’re the ones who caused it, the audience will have to know that it was planned from the beginning. Now if I were to tell a person who hasn’t analyzed the show//understand the queer coding of Byler, they wouldn’t believe me right now, but if the Duffers bring it all back to that very first day, there’s no denying it once the general audience sees it.

agsjdjdkdjd this was so long—I wish you the best of luck in convincing your friends 😭

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #i know what you are #will byers

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scarlettriot · 2 years

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♡ R A N T ♡ I N C O M I N G ♡

I'm mad as fork that I cannot actually comment back to the person who decided to message me a grevance on one of my fics because they were a minor who apparently doesn't understand the meaning of 'do not interact' BUT I am still mad and would like to address this just in case anyone else shares this persons opinion:

I cannot and will not speak for every fan fic author out there but I will speak for myself. Sure, I've thrown together a couple thousand words in an hour or less before and posted it with not much thought going into it. Guilty. But most of my work, especially my chapter fics, I have put MONTHS (going on a full year now) of work into those fics.

I have pulled all-nighters writing, I have bugged the living hell out of my moots and friends with ideas far more than I probably should (you guys are the best and I love you so damn much). I have written thousands of words to highlight and delete it all because it didn't 'feel right' to me. I have scenes and plots that might never see the light of day because I just can't find a place to include them.

So, whatever work/thought you think I've put in, I assure you, it's actually SO MUCH MORE!

If you do not feel like you can relate to the Reader in my story for whatever reason, never you mind the fact that I overthink far more than I should to make my Readers as inclusive as possible, if you cannot picture yourself in the story and it ruins the experience for you then I invite you to not continue reading. Just move along. I cannot appease absolutely everyone and it's taken me a very long while to accept that. So, please, just click away, block me or the story if you must, I will not be offended. Just do not tell me I was careless and put no thought into someone's feelings.

Thank you and have a lovely day.

((as for what was said, I'll post it below if interested--will contain mild spoilers for my chapter fic, She Lit a Fire))

In this story specifically I made the Reader related to Tamaki. I made them cousins and gave no other physical descriptors of the Reader other than she has pointed ears and some scars on her body due to an accident in her past.

The person who messaged me had an issue because Tamaki is obviously Japanese. I am assuming the person who messaged me is a POC or trying to defend POCs because they said they could not relate to Reader because of the relation to Tamaki since that isn't what they look like and I should've clearly stated in the contents section that was the relation.

*deeply inhales*

I AM WRITING THE STORY & INSERT MYSELF INTO IT ALL THE DAMN TIME & I SURE AS HECK AM NOT JAPANESE EITHER!

Aside from being pale, I don't look like him. Then again, I don't even look like most of my IRL cousins!

I do feel bad that this took them so far out of the story that they couldn't enjoy it though.

As a writer, my most important goal is to create a story that my reader can feel immersed and enjoy the tale that I've created. As a fic writer though, writing mostly Y/N's and Readers, I cannot tailor them to every person's exact specifications. I wish I could. But it isn't possible unless someone wants to start sliding me a whole lotta money.

I just, I care a lot about these fics, like, way more than most people probably realize. This one specifically is just super close to my heart and I know I made Reader have more of a backstory and personality to grant the story more depth thus she has some OC qualities about her, but I still try to keep her appearance as vague as possible as well as provide summaries and warnings before each chapter so people are very aware of what they're getting into.

So, I apologize for the rant, especially since the person who needs to see it won't. I just kinda felt like they came after my child and I needed to defend them.

I'd also like to point out that I did state Reader was related to a canon, established character in the two chapters prior to the one it was reveled in. For the sake of the story though, I did not mention who the character was or the relation.

#scarlett's ranting 💥#delete this later 🗑️#I just care a lot about my stories alright #I wanna share them with people so hopefully they can enjoy them too #but if you cannot #then just scroll away #thanks

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thebeebi · 4 years

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your little games pt. 2

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings: smut, fluff in later chapters, non-con, mention of r*pe attempt, implied murder and many more! Read only if you are okay with these topics!

genre: historical AU, 18th century?

word count: 2.5k+ [part 2]

a/n: I am not really sure if you wanted the part 2 but I for sure did!!! Enjooooy! ♥

You ran away from the man who tried to take an advantage of you. You stabbed him and escaped. Escaped to the arms of the handsome captain who was even worse than the man you just killed.

Part 1

Jungkook did not understand what was the reason for you being like this. Your behaviour and manners were ones of an easy woman, but your hands that are pale and untouched showed that you were a lady who had never lifted a finger. He shook his head and wore a white shirt that he took off last just an hour ago. He walked towards the table and poured himself a glass of wine. When he was about to reach for it, he changed his mind and took into his hands bottle of brandy that was often his best companion. He gulped some of the leftover alcohol in the bottle while looking out of the window. He wasn’t from this little town. He was there just to ship some furniture that was ordered by a wealthy man. His parents used to love this town and often took him there considering it as a family vacation. But Jungkook never came back after their death. It was his first time back in 10 years. Jungkook’s father was an adventurer who raised his child strictly. On the other hand, Jungkook’s mother was his supporting pillar that mended Jungkook’s and his father’s relationship. Jungkook knew about the tough unfair world. Since he was a child, he preferred studying, but his father wanted him to be able to sail around so he sent him to an old captain – his friend, who taught Jungkook things that he knows now. Even though Jungkook loved sailing, he knew this was the last one of his adventures. His parents left him a huge mansion with a huge wine orchard. Jungkook knew he wanted to work with wine and that was the reason he did not sail that often. The winery was the centre of his attention. He was 25 years old man, who was already eligible for marrying. He wished he would be happy for the rest of his life. He smiled and shook his head, thinking that love for his mansion and the winery will make him do foolish things, that his heart did not approve. He wanted to get married to Elisabeth Buck who he did not love but had to marry in order to get back land that belonged to his family years ago.

Jungkook frowned at the thought of his possible future wife. His family was always known to be possessive of their loved ones. He knew how jealous his father would get if his mother shown even a tiny bit of interest in someone else than his father. He was weirded out by that because he was exactly the same copy of his father and the woman he wanted to marry had in the bed new man every night. But Jungkook somehow did not care. He wished there would be at least a tiny bit of jealousy, that would show him he had any feelings for the Elisabeth, but nothing. He knew her since childhood and was well aware that his feelings for her will not change. His friends called him crazy once they knew Jungkook asked her to marry him. Even if the jealousy was not inherited, Jungkook was sure he was stubborn just like his father. He was ready to get married just for the wealth and his family’s name.

Captain looked at his bed and walked closer to you. The sobs were getting quieter until they stopped completely. He knew you fell asleep, but it was no calm sleep. It reminded him of the sleep of an exhausted person. He bowed down and took blanket into his hands to cover you properly, uncovering your face, letting the fresh air getting to you. The last thing he was expecting in his cabin was a virgin. He knew they were problematic and that was the reason why he tried to avoid them all his life. He preferred spending time with skilled ones who were enjoying their life to the fullest without any worries. They could have been from a brothel or not, cheap or expensive. Jungkook did not care. This was his first night in the docks after a long time spent on the ocean. From the crew, only his servant Jimin and Taehyung stayed aboard that night. He felt horny after many nights without a companion, so he asked Jimin to find him someone for a quickie who was not filthy and very charming. Jungkook wasn’t expecting a virgin who was more beautiful than any other woman he had seen before. It was a miracle that they found you. A young innocent girl who was just turning into a woman. Normally women like that think about the marriage and with their innocence are trying to lure some a man into the trap with their beauty. How else would Jungkook be still single, if he did not try to avoid them as a devil avoids the holy water? But now, when he had to get married to the woman who slept with half of the male population of his town, he wanted to try something else. To refresh his tastes in women but he still could not understand what were your reasons for doing this job. He shook his head and took of the white shit again. He walked closer towards the table and blew out the candle. Jungkook once again looked at your body and then slowly laid down next to you. The last thing he thought about before he fell asleep was the gentle fragrance of your body and the warmth which was radiating from it.

When the first sun rays reached into the cabin, you felt them on your face and sat up straight away, waking up from the slumber. You looked around and then you got reminded of the events of the last night. Jungkook who was sleeping next to you had his arm over your bust, but as you sat up, his arm slid down on your thighs. You could feel the weight of something on your legs and when you looked down, you saw his left leg being crossed over your small body. You tried to squirm away without being noticed, but your movement woke Jungkook up. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet, so you took it as a cue to lay down again, pretending to be asleep. When he finally opened his eyes, the first thing he decided to look at was your face. To him, it was a beautiful sight. He loved the way you looked now, but even more when you were laying beneath him last night. Jungkook softly caressed your cheekbones with his thumbs and realised that his fiancé would be really jealous of your beauty. He laughed at the possibility of you two meeting. Elisabeth is proud of her beauty, and Jungkook knew she would despite standing next to even more beautiful woman than she was. His fiancé was proclaimed as the most beautiful woman in the town, even though there were many beauties. Jungkook never noticed it though, but people were probably right. Her face and hair were pretty, and her tall body was indeed attractive. Jungkook thought about the woman who he promised he would marry but then again looked at you sleeping next to him. If you were to come to his hometown, then they would for sure forget about Elisabeth’s beauty.

Jungkook bowed down a little to kiss your ear and nibbled it a little. You widened your eyes quicky before you could realise what was Jungkok doing. “Good morning, little one,” he whispered softly and tried to reach for your lips with his own. You were still, not trying to make any movement, being scared that if you would do anything, it would only provoke him. But Jungkook did not need it, the memories of last night were still raw and he was ready for another round. He was kissing your lips softly, but then moved to your eyes, the neck and headed towards the shoulder, where he stayed for a bitting you softly. The shiver ran down your spine as you saw Jungkook looking for the nipple and started licking it slowly, making small kitten but very passionate licks. “Don’t!“ you silently shouted, “Don’t do that!” Jungkook looked at you and the lust in his eyes was evident. “You will have to get used to this, little one.” You wanted to run away from his amused look, so the only thing you could do was turn your head to the side and beg. “No. Please, not. Don’t do that. Don’t hurt me again. Let me go.”

“I will not hurt you this time, little one.” He exhaled near your ear, which he was kissing softly. He covered you with his body as you were trying to push him away. You tried to press your legs together and to scratch him, just to make sure he would stop. Jungkook laughed as he loved the way you protested. “You have more strength now than you had last night,” he grabbed both of your arms pulling them up and then locking them in his grasp above your head. He managed to keep your arms above with one hand and slid the other down to your left breast to play with it. You kept on resisting, trying to push him away, but it was all in vain. With a swift move of his knee, he separated your pressed legs and you could feel him once again deep inside.

This time you did not cry, you had no tears left. Instead the hate and fear appeared within you. When he finished, he pulled away from you and you took that as a cue to clew up yourself by hugging your legs close to your chest. When Jungkook looked into your eyes, he frowned and sat next to you. He reached in to caress your cheek because he was feeling that he had to calm you down, but when you moved to the side, to avoid his touch, Jungkook was confused and stopped. His eyes widened as he realised that you were not pretending and were actually scared of him. He frowned even more and instead of your face, he reached for your hair, to entangle a fallen strand in his finger. “You are really something, little one.” He whispered softly. “You could have gotten a large sum of money for what you lost with me tonight. Anyone would be willing to pay you a lot for that but you still chose to be a prostitute and as I have heard, you came with my men willingly, not even trying to talk about the price or anything. You never told me that you were a virgin and did not try to ask for more.” He let go or your trembling body and continued: “The dress that you wore was expensive, some woman from the street would have to work for a year to get them. I am sure you are of high status, but I cannot explain why would you offer your virginity on the street. Someone could have raped you and you would lose it just like that.” You sit up a little and looked at him, not understanding what he was trying to say.“It looks like you are coming from a good family. You are beautiful, you have an expensive dress but still…” Jungkook grabbed you by the hand and pulled you to him. “ But you still chose to do this.” He softly caressed your palm and then lightly pressed kiss on the place he just touched. “When you came in yesterday, you were calm and willing, but now you were trying to push me away, not letting me be gentle to you.” It was only then when you realised, that he was not one of the men from yesterday.

Oh Gosh! You gasped as you thought about the price you paid for your fear. You then realised you should have waited for the judgement right at that place where you killed the man or just stayed in the poverty where you were trying to run away from. At least you would have not lost your virginity. “It is okay, Y/N. Don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and you will live in comfort. I arrived just yesterday and I will stay for a while. While I will be here, you will be my companion. I will take care of you and will make sure that you have your own house while I’ll-“

He was interrupted by your sudden burst of laughter. It was hysterical laughter that came out of nowhere when you realised what was the situation you were in. The huge smile on your face soon changed into sobs and tears started running down your cheeks. You looked down but suddenly shot your head up to look at the confused Jungkook. “ I wasn’t selling myself on the streets. I just got lost.“ The captain frowned being silenced by the confession. “But you went with my men willingly,” he interrupted you and you just shook your head to sides. “I thought they were sent to look for me.” When Jungkook did not continue, you realised he does not know about your sin. He does not know about what you committed yesterday and why you were running away. “Aren’t your parents worried?“ You shook your head once again. “No, they died a long time ago. I am living with my aunt. But she does not care about me much.” You whispered the last sentence and whipped your tears away. “Then I do not see the reason, Y/N, why you could not stay with me and become my lover. I will find you a house where you could live happily and when I come here, I will spend time with you there. I will give you a large amount of money so you would not have to look for other men, than myself. Well, I would not let you do that anyways and once if I decide to come back here and will need woman companion, I will just go to you. It is a win-win for both of us.”

You silently stood up and got dressed in the clothes he met you in yesterday. For almost a second, you did not feel the hatred towards him but once he finished his monologue, it was back. You never thought you could hate someone so much as you hated Jungkook. His carefree nature drove you crazy and you were ready to jump at him and scratch his handsome face. Jungkook stood up and walked toward the window, you took it as your free pass to leave. Even though you were wearing the dress that brought back memories, you were willing to take all of them if it meant to flee from the man who wasn’t looking at you. You bit your lower lip and swiftly but silently reached for the backpack you brought yesterday and started backing away towards the door. Your plan disappeared once you heard him shout your name. “Y/N!” you looked up at the man and let go of the backpack surprised. His dark eyes were staring into yours and he noticed that you started breathing faster. With fast steps, Jungkook walked towards you and grabbed your arm. “Did you think, I would let you run away from me? You are beautiful and I haven’t found a replacement yet. And let me be honest, I have no desire to let you go.”

Part 3

a/n: do you want part 3? let me knowwww :) also, I might make a tag list for this series, so let me know if you want to be part of it. 💜

#bts smut #jungkook smut #yandere bts #jungkook fics #jeon jungkook #bts yandere #jungkook x reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook #bts fanfic #bts scenarious #bts imagines #yandere jungkook #yandere #bangtan #bts

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

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watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!”

this will be a common occurrence

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!”

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

#i didn't mean to recap the entire fucking episode lol #sorry #it's to make up for my lack of content lately #or something #anyway #caryl #twd s11ep1 #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 3 years

Text

The d’Avenir Treatise on the Essentials of Monster Hunting (Vol I) - Preface and Introduction

The timing of this whole thing with the campaign is pretty amazing, as it turns out. In the middle of absolute work hell and attempts to sort out my general apartment/living situation, a little while ago I entered a fic into the /r/CurseOfStrahd second annual fanfic contest. It was one of my attempts to kind of write out and process the way our own run through the module went, stretch out some poor, suffering, unused writing muscles, and it was also super duper self-indulgent. So I'm very, very proud to say it won first place amidst some really great competition, and super happy to rep my best girl Ez.

Summary: In the aftermath of Strahd's destruction and the not-quite-loss of her mentor, Ezmerelda d'Avenir sets out to tie up loose ends and lay some ghosts to rest, and continues carving out a path for herself in the Domains of Dread.

Word count: 9999, as there was a 10k limit. I had fun.

Rating/Warnings: T, with canon-typical violence, and dealing with death and loss in a general gothic horror setting. Spoilers for the Curse of Strahd module.

---

The d’Avenir Treatise on the Essentials of Monster Hunting (Vol I) - Preface and Introduction

Being a compendium of successes, failures, tricks, and warnings relating to detecting, tracking, fighting, and ultimately destroying undead, fiends, lycanthropes, and assorted monstrosities.

1.1. Introductory remarks

Their ride back to town is a quiet one. The silence is broken only once they are sitting, their hunting and travelling gear half-unpacked and strewn about, in the library just above van Richten's herbalist shop.

"Were we in any other profession, this would be a cause for celebration," van Richten's lips twist into a bittersweet wisp of a smile, and he pushes a warm cup of tea into her hands. "A demonstration of pride in an apprentice's first job well done, for all to see and revel in."

Ezmerelda tries to look up at him and meet his gaze properly, but her shoulders, her head, her eyes all feel too heavy. A leaden weight seems to have settled on every bit of her. She is tired, bone-deep, but the very thought of lying down and closing her eyes to attempt to sleep fills her with disgust and no small amount of dread. She knows exactly what she will see. The man, just on the cusp of middle age, entirely unremarkable at first... features quickly twisting into a mask of monstrous hunger, then to wide-eyed horror, and, finally, resorting to desperate pleas for mercy as the stake hits home and his screeching form dissolves to ash.

It feels like the ash still coats the back of her mouth. The tea smells of strong herbs, with just a whiff of something even stronger that van Richten must have snuck in from the liquor cabinet. Her hands clench around the cup, and a burning need to justify and defend herself drives her to finally speak up.

"I was ready," she insists. "I am ready."

"I know," van Richten replies, softly, sadly.

The tea scalds her tongue, but she drinks it anyway.

---

Getting up from the damp, cold floor of the tomb again feels like an impossibility. She can barely keep her head above the ground, eyes stinging with a mixture of blood and sweat and the glare of pure, magical sunlight. The clawed gashes on her ribcage burn with every weak, hard-won breath, and a metallic taste coats the back of her tongue.

But she is not done yet. She has one last lightning bolt left in her, and Strahd and his dusk elf lackey are so beautifully, perfectly aligned. Ezmerelda can't keep her lips from curling up into a smirk as she raises an arm and mutters her incantation, feeling that familiar tickle of static rising all around her.

She holds on, builds it up as much as she can, teeth grinding together, ears buzzing - until she can hold on no longer, and the energy flies from her, the flash near-blinding, the roar of accompanying thunder ringing in her ears.

She sees it hit home, the first traces of foggy vapour swirling around Strahd's convulsing form, and a beautiful satisfaction fills her.

Then, she lets herself go.

An instant or an eternity later someone is shaking her into jarring and painful wakefulness, jostling her head against the rough floor. Her mouth is filled with the bitter aftertaste of a potion, and she grimaces as she feels the familiar residue on her lips and chin.

"Fine, fine, old man, relax, I'm up," she manages, slurring the words, struggling to blink her eyes open and into focus. "I'm awake. Stop it."

But it's not him.

It is Ireena, wide-eyed gaze somehow growing wider still at her words. The reason for this becomes abundantly and agonisingly clear as she points to somewhere behind Ezmerelda... to where Rudolph van Richten lies, very pale and very still, a greater and more profound calm upon him than she has ever witnessed.

"No."

She didn't even see him fall.

"Why didn't you help him?" Ezmerelda knocks the empty potion bottle away, and it clatters loudly against the stone, finally finding rest near a streak of dark ashes. "What are you waiting for, what--"

"I tried. It was... it's too late," Ireena whispers, "I'm sorry."

Ezmerelda feels shame flood her immediately at the misaimed anger. "No. No, I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I'm sorry. I just-- wait." Awareness of just where they are and what they were in the middle of doing suddenly overwhelms her, and she feels panic crawl up her spine. "Is it over? Did you stake that bastard once and for all?"

Ireena nods, mouth curling in visible distaste. "I did, just like you said to. Your last hit - it was enough to force him to turn into mist, and then, when... when he reformed in the coffin, I did it."

The relief Ezmerelda feels at that is so bitter it burns. "I missed it, then," she murmurs, and feels ridiculous immediately afterwards. Ireena shakes her head, and helps her sit up.

She allows herself a few precious moments of rest against the cold, damp wall of the crypt, eyes painfully locked on van Richten's still, still form. As soon as she feels half-capable of moving, she all but drags herself to his side. Feeling for a pulse, a breath, anything at all to help her disbelieve what is plainly before her eyes.

She finds no such thing. He's dead, and it feels like a stake through her own heart. After all her efforts, after getting into Barovia just to get the damned foolish old man off his self-destructive warpath and out, only to lose him now, to fail right at the end...

A pale shimmer falls over the scene before her, like a curtain right before her eyes. Ezmerelda blinks and shakes her head, but can't make it go away. She reaches up, and--

Erasmus all but swoops down to be face to face with her.

It takes her a moment to properly grasp what she is seeing. Erasmus. Somehow still there, his ghostly form hovering over his father's body. Gesturing at her wildly, pointing down at something, and, finally, using his ectoplasmic paint to draw... a circle within a circle, hanging in mid-air.

She follows his wordless instructions to the best of her current ability and, with some painfully suppressed reluctance, looks down at van Richten. And there on his finger is a ring that was certainly not there before.

Erasmus seems insistent and quite unusually agitated, so Ezmerelda takes the ring, trying not to register the coldness of the hand it was on, and puts it on numbly, feeling utterly beyond thought.

Suddenly, cutting through the fog that seems to have descended upon her mind, bubbling up like an idea from her own consciousness, a thought - a voice. A familiar voice.

'Ezmerelda? Ah. I see. Well, that could have gone decidedly better.'

She feels tears welling up in her eyes, an unstoppable burning in her chest. She wants to laugh until she can't breathe, or sob her lungs raw.

Instead, she sits back against the cool stone wall. As the adrenaline wears off, she becomes more aware of the extent of her injuries: the sting where foul claws raked across her midsection and upwards; the burns of magical fire on her palms. She fishes out the last potion from her pocket, and downs it in one greedy gulp. The relief is near-instant.

Her faculties at least somewhat returned to her, she opts for a laugh as she recognises the ring for what it is. Ireena looks at her with some concern, but Ezmerelda waves it away.

"A ring of mind shielding. Protect the mind, and store the soul, should the worst happen. Of course you of all people would come so prepared."

Ezmerelda twists the ring on her finger, marvels at the detailed engraving.

"Should I... we could... there's ways. To get you back. I mean..."

She trails off, and there is a brief pause before the voice in her mind pipes up again. 'No. No, I think, at long last, it is time for me to stop. And rest.'

Even though her entire being wishes to rail against this, to insist on the need for Rudolph van Richten to exist, and protest the injustice (just when she'd gotten him back!), Ezmerelda manages, barely, a soft, "I understand."

'There is still some work to do before that, though, no? Loose ends for us to take care of before, well...'

That, she feels far more comfortable with. It almost comes as a relief. "Yes, of course. First order of business, we will sit down, and we will work out a plan. And we will stick to that plan."

There is a soft chuckle in her mind.

"What's so funny? You love plans."

She imagines, in better, happier days, the old man - only slightly less old - shaking his head at her with a long-suffering smile.

'Thank you for humoring me, is all I'll say. Now, go handle things here properly and finish up, while I think of a list of priorities for us. Miss Kolyana is waiting for you.'

1.2. A brief reflection on personal experience

Ezmerelda is pulled into a room, hand clamped over her mouth. The door slams shut, and she almost stumbles as she is suddenly released.

"What in all the realms are you doing here?" The colourful half-elf carnival master hisses at her in a voice decidedly unlike the one he was just using in the downstairs taproom. Now that they are close, she can see the magical disguise of the Great Rictavio is utterly impeccable, but the eyes... the eyes are unmistakable.

They are also flooded with the closest thing to panic Ezmerelda has ever seen in them.

"I'm here to help you. You don't stand a chance on your own."

"How did you find me?"

Ezmerelda shrugs noncommittally, and doesn't look behind him. "I have my ways."

He shakes his head. "That isn't good enough. If his agents - and there are many, I assure you! - catch even a whiff--"

She finally glances at the ghostly form of Erasmus, just barely visible over Rictavio's shoulder, unable to be perceived by the one man he wishes he could reach out to and reassure. He meets her eyes and holds his finger up to his lips.

"I recognised your horse," she says, at long last.

"Dear Drusilla? Oh..." Rictavio seems to almost deflate at that, though his nervous pacing doesn't slow.

Erasmus' visage shows what has to be gratitude, or relief, or both. Then he closes his eyes, seemingly tired, and the shimmering remnants of him disappear from view.

"Damned stubborn, foolish girl..." Rictavio moves deftly around the small room, securing the shutters on its single window, locking the door from the inside, gaze darting around wildly. Then he reaches up and removes his hat, and Rudolph van Richten, looking more old and more worn than Ezmerelda was perhaps ever prepared to see, stands in his place.

"I had a plan, you know," he sighs, tossing the hat onto the bed. "One that I can now no doubt forget about entirely."

"There's no time for your endless preparation and planning. Any waiting game we try to play is a losing one. There's a young woman who desperately needs our help, a legendary weapon to be found, and there's a monster to hunt, feeding on an entire land. I've been to the castle, scouted out--"

"You've done what?"

Ezmerelda doesn't look at him and chooses to pace a small circle around the room herself. "The castle. Ravenloft. Getting in was a breeze - getting out was the hard part." She suppresses a brief shudder at the memory of her invisibility spell running out and Strahd's eyes boring directly into hers, as if he'd known she was there all along. "But, well, I managed. And more importantly, I found a way into his crypt."

Van Richten sits down on the bed, rubbing circles into his forehead.

"Ezmerelda, you can't be here." His voice sounds pained, almost. "You know you are not safe near me. My curse--"

"Sincerely, fuck your curse," Ezmerelda spits. "After all these years, it can wait a few days before striking. Can't be worse than what will happen to both of us and anyone involved if we can't manage to work together on this. We have to. I tried, by myself, but..."

She tries not to dwell on the terribly brief confrontation, the bite of the cold, cold grasp that seemed to steal the very life out of her, and her rather desperate escape.

"Ezmerelda," van Richten starts again, then pauses, and just looks at her - a long, heavy look. "Why?"

"There are still people who care about your well-being," she replies simply and softly, "no matter what you may believe."

Then she straightens her shoulders and allows the steel back into her voice. "So listen to me. We are going to stake that devil in his lair, and we are going to get out of this cursed land. Together."

For once, he doesn't argue.

---

Their lord and master may be gone, but there are plenty of foul things still crawling around Castle Ravenloft - and occasionally crawling out of it as well.

How lucky for the Village of Barovia, then, to have a monster hunter visiting.

"...so I think that should do it for that particular area of the barracks," Ezmerelda flicks a stray bit of zombie gunk off of her bracer, then casts an apologetic look at Ireena. "But who knows what else he has buried under there."

Ireena Kolyana, the girl haunted, hunted, and tormented by the vampire, deciding she's had enough of running, turning on him and wielding a sword of pure sunlight against him. Poetic justice, if Ezmerelda fancied herself a poet.

Ireena Kolyana, looking exhausted in a very different way, now caught up in burgomaster duties, barely finding time in her overstuffed schedule to hear about the results of Ezmerelda's latest expedition to the castle.

"You know," Ezmerelda begins, eyeing the stacks of papers and growing chaos on the desk between them, "if you ever get really tired of this, and miss life on the road..." she nods towards the window, and the wagon just outside it. "I have room for one more. And could always use a deft hand with a sword."

Ireena smiles, but the sadness underpinning it is palpable. "I can't, not now at least. There is too much to take care of here. And without Ismark..." a shadow falls briefly over her face, then she visibly forces it back. "Some day, maybe. I would honestly love to."

Ezmerelda nods, then moves to stand up, and holds out a hand expectantly. "Come on, you have time for a walk. A minute to escort me out and say goodbye, at least."

Ireena chuckles quietly and shakes her head, but pushes away from the desk and takes the proffered arm.

The sunlight is bright, tempered only by a wisp of white cloud here and there. Ezmerelda feels a light pull on her arm as Ireena stops on the threshold of the house for just a fraction of a moment. The hesitation is brief, barely noticeable, but the pause as if needing to catch her breath and the subsequent dawning joy - pure, almost radiant by itself - as the sunlight hits her skin--

Ezmerelda realises she's staring, blinks, and makes herself look away.

Their stroll is indeed brief, and as soon as they turn the corner and reach the parked wagon, Ireena sighs and stands half-ready to hurry back to her office and her duties.

"Hey," Ezmerelda puts what she hopes is a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I know you can handle all of this. Never doubt that."

This wins her a sincere smile. "Thank you."

Knowing there's no more point in delaying, Ezmerelda pulls away, moves to arrange her things around the wagon and prepare to leave.

"The offer stands," she says as she climbs into the driver's seat. "Keep it in mind."

"Maybe next time," Ireena replies with another sad smile. But then she pauses for a moment, almost as if thinking something over. Then she darts in quickly, and kisses Ezmerelda's cheek.

"Don't stay away too long," she says, quietly, then draws away again. Ezmerelda nods her agreement, and takes up the reins of her conjured horses.

Ireena waves her goodbye, and stands, looking on, bathed in sunlight.

And then the road turns, and she disappears from Ezmerelda's view.

'Well.'

"Shut up." Ezmerelda can feel her face burning. "Absolutely no need to read into things."

'You know I mean no offense. I only want the best for you.'

"I am perfectly fine," Ezmerelda grumbles. "Besides, this is the last thing she needs right now."

'You don't know that. Ask her sometime, perhaps, to tell you herself. Too many people have assumed too much about that young lady, I think. Myself included.'

"Oh, what do you know..."

There is a distinct sensation of stinging grief, never quite healed, as the voice comes again. 'You seem to forget I was young once. In love once. More... than once. And though it never ended well, like few things in my life did, the only thing I have ever regretted was not acting sooner. And regret is...'

"... the enemy of progress. I know." Ezmerelda sighs, the old man's oft-repeated saying rattling around in her mind as she snaps the reins and takes them down the road westward. "Maybe next time."

1.3. Materials and methods, an overview

Her balance is off still, but the past few weeks have brought incredible improvement. She flicks her rapier upwards, then lunges - back, forth, back, forth, fully and properly bearing weight on her right side in the training yard for the first time in months. The new prosthetic is truly a work of art and a masterful display of craftsmanship. Ezmerelda feels almost giddy at the sensation of ducking and weaving under the wooden limbs of the training dummy, feinting deftly, ignoring the burn in her arm and shoulder. The maneuvers are not yet close to her peak speed and fluidity and elegance, not after the long, arduous recovery she is only now reaching the end of. But it is all so very, very promising.

It also brings to mind - because how could it not, when for the better part of the past half-year she has had more time to think, and remember, and reflect than in her entire life? - van Richten's drills. He was always far more of a theoretician than practitioner of swordfighting, but he was certainly no slouch with a blade. The precision and perfection of form he insisted on instilling in her initially seemed to clash with her more free, improvisational, off-the-cuff approach, but ended up blending with it to great effect in ways that occasionally surprised them both.

She goes through attack patterns he's drilled into her and realises she misses him, the cantankerous old man and all his frustrating ways, and suddenly finds herself fervently wishing she wasn't doing this alone. She spares a moment to imagine the amount of fussing over her he would likely have insisted on, with his overprotective bedside manner that she used to chafe and scoff at whenever one of their hunts went badly for her. She thinks of all the lovely, fleeting drawings Erasmus would have made for her.

Her next step is careless, thoughtless, distracted, and as a result only a little off. The lunge is misaimed, unbalanced, and her knee twists unpleasantly. For the briefest flash of a moment she could swear she can feel the teeth sinking in again, and the horrible tearing.

Ezmerelda winces, fingers clenched around the rapier's handle, knuckles white. Her teeth grit as the wave of pain subsides so very, very slowly, but doesn't quite go away. She remembers, belatedly, that she has an audience.

"Ah, almost there," she calls back to the artisan eagerly awaiting her feedback, voice forcefully kept steady, without turning to face them, and taps her rapier on the metal plating running up from the heel. "We'll need to make another slight adjustment to the ankle joint, I think. But this is definitely and by far the best one yet. Let me get some more practice first, and we can go over the details in the afternoon."

Ezmerelda doesn't wait to see if her words are acknowledged. She hefts the rapier back up.

---

Before she reaches the first crossroads west of Vallaki, she turns the wagon south and into the woods.

"I have some unfinished business of my own to settle first," Ezmerelda states very matter-of-factly, preempting any interrogation from the ring's general direction.

The wagon trail to the top of the hill is easier to navigate than ever, and the camp is abuzz with activity, as it usually is. But this time the feel of it all is a bit different.

Ezmerelda knows it well; the air of a caravan packing up to leave.

Arabelle sees her weaving through the horses, strolling towards the large central tent, and darts towards her immediately, then freezes not three feet away. Ezmerelda can tell plain as the new Barovian day that she is torn between looking dignified and throwing herself at her in a hug.

So she crouches down and opens her arms first, and is almost knocked over when Arabelle rushes in.

"I want to show you something I've been practicing," Arabelle whispers conspiratorially, "but you'll need to lend me a dagger."

Ezmerelda's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but she obliges the girl after only a moment's contemplation, still crouched down and one arm around her narrow shoulders.

The dagger is one of the smaller ones she usually keeps concealed, but even so it seems far too large in Arabelle's hands. Nevertheless, in a few surprisingly dextrous motions with only a couple of moments of hesitation, she seems to make it disappear - then produces it again as if out of thin air.

"Huh. Impressive. Did your uncle teach you that little trick?"

Arabelle nods, but her pride is palpable. "Papa was so mad! He says that both him and you are a bad influence and I am far too young to be handling blades."

"There's no such thing," Ezmerelda scoffs, but motions for her dagger back and tucks it away safely. "Where is your father? I wanted to speak with him."

"Luvash is busy," another voice cuts in cooly, and Arrigal steps out of the fading, scarce shadows, somehow slipping under her notice even with the bright streams of sunlight all around. "But you can speak with me."

Ezmerelda stands up slowly, and can see him sizing her up.

"Run along now, Arabelle," Arrigal says in a much warmer tone of voice, but without taking his eyes off Ezmerelda for even a moment.

Arabelle gives her one last look as she turns to leave, and Ezmerelda tries to give her a reassuring smile - but then she realises Arabelle doesn't seem concerned or reluctant or... anything at all. She seems supremely calm, and not seven years old at all.

Arrigal steps forward and, even as uncannily quiet as he always is, it startles her back into the moment. Then, he reaches out a hand.

Ezmerelda meets his gaze, steps forward, and takes it. The handshake is firm, and she smirks. "Looks like you backed the losing side, cousin."

The term of address rolls off her tongue with some bite of irony in it. Arrigal inclines his head in acknowledgement. "You can't say it wasn't a fairly sure bet. A matter of survival, of course. We do what we must to keep our people safe. But," and he draws a bit closer, as if letting her in on a secret. "I'm glad he didn't send me after you."

Ezmerelda nods, and decides she isn't in the mood for a debate. "You know, so am I. I would have hated having to kill you. Instead, here you are, in an excellent position for a little introspection, changing your ways... much better this way, isn't it?"

He shakes his head with a grin, and finally lets go of her hand. "You are a menace. But we follow the traditions, and you have a place here. Where are you going?"

"Borca," she says, and pointedly doesn't elaborate further.

Arrigal laughs. "Off to more of your grim business right away! Well, one has to admire your tenacity. You can stay, of course, and leave with us tomorrow. We will share the road at least part of the way."

So Ezmerelda stays, and exchanges news of recent caravan routes and planned Mist-traversal with Luvash. The fire roars to life as the sun sets. Tales are told, and she contributes some of her own.

"Regale us, cousin," Arrigal says, grinning wolf-sharp, arms open wide as if to encompass the entire camp, "with the story of the fall of the devil Strahd."

Arabelle is a delight, as always. The truce with Arrigal, if it can be called that, is uneasy, but holds. The ring is quiet.

Arabelle insists on riding with her in the morning ("You did fish her out of that lake... brought her back to us," Luvash grumbles. "I suppose there's no harm... I'll have none of that monster-hunting nonsense, though!"). Her delight at the summoned magical horses is palpable, even as she tries to hide it. Ezmerelda gives her the reins until they need to enter the Mists, and is only slightly surprised to see her managing well, with just a few pointers here and there.

The whole way, Arabelle demands stories of her and van Richten's exploits very matter-of-factly - interrogates, almost, at times. Her eyes are large, intent, focused, as Ezmerelda obliges, for hours.

"I knew you would win," Arabelle says at one point, breaking a rare longer stretch of silence between them. "Uncle didn't want to listen to me, but I knew."

Ezmerelda looks at her, matches her seriousness. "I hope he will learn to listen, one day soon."

1.4. Common pitfalls

Ezmerelda inches back to consciousness more than wakes, and hisses as she almost reflexively tries and fails to sit up. She recognises her own bed in the former guest room above the herbalist shop, but the details of how she got there are fuzzy at best, completely absent at worst. She is, however, very aware of a merciless pounding in her head and that she has most certainly just pulled some fresh stitches.

A swirl of colourful ectoplasm greets her when she next opens her eyes, Erasmus' fleeting but always lovely and cheerful greetings hovering above her.

Well. Ezmerelda forces a pained smile at him, knowing that if he is here, his father cannot be far, and--

Ah. Familiar footsteps on the stairs, and the distinct creak of the second one from the top, as Rudolph van Richten enters the room with uncanny timing.

He doesn't seem to be surprised to see her awake as he gives her a quick look-over, even as concern and frustration clearly war on his face.

"I thought we had reached an agreement," he begins at last, very deliberately calmly.

Ezmerelda doesn't reply.

"I thought," he continues with that same calm tone, "that we had made a plan. That was my distinct impression of our last conversation."

Ezmerelda clenches her teeth, then grinds out, "I couldn't just stand by and let that beast--"

"You could have voiced your disagreements with the plan and brought your concerns to me, instead of running off on your own in the middle of the night," van Richten is clearly struggling to keep his voice level. "You almost died."

"Fine, I am voicing my disagreements. We know it's a wereboar. Just go at it with our silvered weapons, set up an ambush where we found its lair... why wait? Why give it more chances to hurt people?"

"To be absolutely certain we have all the information. That we have looked at it from every angle, that we have not overlooked a crucial detail. Minimise its chances to hurt us."

"But by then it might have mauled half the village to death, or worse!"

Van Richten's gaze on her is sharp. "And if we get ourselves pointlessly killed, are the villagers any safer for our hasty, brash, ill-thought sacrifice?"

"Hasty, brash, and ill-thought. Fine, if that’s how it is, how you think of me," Ezmerelda throws her hands up, and wishes she could march off, slamming a door shut behind her for good measure, as childish as the thought makes her feel.

Van Richten sighs deeply, and pulls up a chair to sit next to her bed. Ezmerelda recognises it as one from downstairs, and feels a small stab of guilt at the thought of him setting up a vigil at her bedside.

"We can't go rushing in on half-checked information," van Richten begins, after a brief silence, looking down at his hands. "We can't, because... because I have done that, in the past. And people - good, brave, dedicated people who chose to stand against evil, people who trusted me - died as a result."

"I have been wrong," he continues, still not looking up. "I have followed faulty sources without the due diligence of thorough enough vetting. I have overlooked things, and I have lost many. I will not and cannot allow that to happen again. We have to be careful, patient, and vigilant, always."

"I'm not advocating for blindly rushing in," Ezmerelda protests, "I'm merely--"

"I won't have you on my soul as well. I have far too many already."

"And I won't have any more innocents on mine! We had all the relevant information two days ago. Four people could have been alive today if we had acted on time. We were right."

"And what about when you aren't, Ezmerelda? What about when you aren't?"

Ezmerelda looks him right in the eyes, steely. "Then I will make sure I am the one who pays the price for my own mistakes."

"Oh," van Richten smiles sadly, "If only that were possible."

---

The letter arrives just as she is preparing, to her great relief, to leave Port-à-Lucine for good. It is hand-delivered by an ostentatiously dressed man in a stylised fox mask, entirely - and Ezmerelda feels her lips curl in annoyance - unassuming and usual for the land of outrageous pretense that is Dementlieu. The way he seems to disappear in the moment it takes for her to glance down at what he has thrust into her hands is also something Ezmerelda finds hard to marvel at anymore.

Overjoyed to be able to return to the relative privacy and safety of her wagon, she tosses away her old harlequin mask in the sincere hopes of never having to put the damn thing on again. Then she throws herself on the bed and focuses on tearing into the sealed envelope, absorbing its mysterious contents.

After she reaches the end of the letter's brief text, she stays very still for a long while.

'Not a name I thought I would see again, if I am to be honest,' van Richten's voice comes slowly, sounding very wary.

Ezmerelda breathes out a frustrated sigh, an unidentifiable jumble of feelings warring in her chest and burning up her throat. She tries to reply several times, then stops, and closes her eyes. Collects herself, at least somewhat, and decides to focus on the practical. "How do we even know this isn't a forgery, or some sort of trap?"

'We don't. But it is a loose end I, for one, am not prepared to simply overlook.'

"She's tried before, but I never... I don't have time for this right now, I--," she throws the letter and the shredded envelope onto the chest at her bedside, and runs an annoyed hand through her hair, again, and again, and again. Thinking, or at least trying to.

'We have time. You and I both know it's not time that is the problem.'

They are nearing the end of their planned journey, finishing up their business with Alanik Ray and Arthur Sedgwick's latest investigations and bidding farewell to Dementlieu. And then it was supposed to be on to Mordent, to call in at the Mordentshire shop briefly, and afterwards to Darkon - to Rivalis, and the villages surrounding the old Richten estate. Some ghouls to fight off, wraiths to purge, ghosts to lay to rest, to help the villagers out, before... well. They'll come to that when they do.

Ezmerelda can't deny the detour would only be a brief one.

"A 'loose end'," she huffs. "Really."

'I am just trying to help you. Don't waste years of your life like I have, either bitter or wondering or fleeing. Confront your - our - past, at least this part. Lay it to rest, if you can.'

"The past does not lie behind us. It is part of what we are, and part of what we always will be," Ezmerelda recites, then sighs again. "Old Vistani saying."

A moment of silence. 'Make sure it is a good part, then.'

Ezmerelda's memory of her mother feels... not fuzzy, but perhaps a bit tweaked and twisted over the years, more by feelings overtaking it than by any fault of recall. The images of what she remembers and what now stands before her don't match, but have a strange, dissonant overlap, leaving visible in the centre a woman Ezmerelda could almost, almost imagine seeing in the mirror. One she hoped to never see again after that night of wordless parting, many years ago.

Years of imprisonment seem to have been surprisingly kind to Madame Irena Radanavich. She has wormed her way into some kind of favour with someone powerful here, no doubt, as has always been her utterly unscrupulous way. The cell is clearly a formality, more of an office than anything, a parlour for receiving agents and lackeys, as well as bosses. There is even a chair - a worn, old wooden frame with faded red upholstery - placed a little ways away from the bars, facing them. Ezmerelda also gets a distinct impression that the guard standing in the corner is not there for any visitor's safety or protection.

The woman in the cell seems to light up the moment she sets eyes on Ezmerelda strolling into the cell space with a pretense of casualness.

"My, how you've grown! My, and yet-- oh, darling," concern seems to flood her face and voice, and - there, a subtle, wry twist - Ezmerelda thinks she catches a false, even mocking undertone to it. A flash, and it’s gone, and perhaps she merely imagined it, or even wanted it to be there, an ache for some semblance of simplicity to box this woman in. "There's both more and less of you than last time I saw you."

"Really?" Ezmerelda scoffs, and almost wants to laugh. "All those tales I've heard of your vicious, clever, insidious scheming, and that's the best you can come up with?" She crosses her arms, and clicks her metal heel against the floor loudly. "Not an angle you can use against me, I'm afraid. Try again."

"You wound me!" A dramatic hand placed over her chest. "Treating your own mother like that, who has never had anything but your best interests at heart. Who you've never even come to visit."

Ezmerelda slips the opened letter through the bars, letting it land on the hewn stone on the other side. Then she moves to sit down on the solitary chair.

"I'm only here because I got your letter."

"Oh! Good. My dearest Ezmerelda, I was--"

"I am here to tell you I want you to leave me alone," Ezmerelda continues, acting as if she hasn't heard a word. "For good. Forget I exist, preferably. I want nothing to do with you, and I never will. And the only thing I might want to do with your plotting and scheming is foiling it, so it is in your best interest to leave me out of it all. And van Richten..."

The saccharine smile dips down, almost into a scowl. "And here I'd heard you'd finally seen sense and parted ways with that old fool."

"You hear much, I see," Ezmerelda replies, cooly.

"I have my ways. My sources. People loyal to me, who have yet to abandon me."

Ezmerelda feels the swipe like an airy almost-cut of a dagger that just barely misses. "Well, here's something new for you, then. Something your little web-weaving spiders seem to have missed. You'll be happy to hear he's dead."

"And right away you come back to me! Time to end your silly games, eh, Ezme? Good, good. A start--"

"You have no right to call me that," Ezmerelda cuts her off, rapidly losing her will to restrain herself.

"Come now, dear. That's no way to talk to your mother, your own flesh and blood. It's about time we set all this nonsense aside, don't you think? Your family--"

"You're no family of mine."

"Please," she scoffs loudly. "You sound like an angry child. And... oh, really, what kind of name is 'd'Avenir' even?"

"My name," Ezmerelda replies, perfectly matter-of-fact, and refuses to even entertain further discussion of the matter.

"I wonder how you'll do," Madame Radanavich smiles, but this time the threatening edge is obvious, pretense briefly abandoned, "all alone. Playing your little games of pretend with your make-believe name. You'll come crawling back to me yet."

Ezmerelda finds herself thinking of Erasmus, and almost believes she can see him, out of the corner of her eye. Tries not to think of what this confrontation might be bringing back for him. Thinks of the Martikovs welcoming her with open arms and offering shelter even in the darkest and dourest and most dangerous of days; thinks of Ireena with the sunsword and an entire wealth of feeling tangled in a tired, relieved smile somehow brighter than the blazing sunlight itself. Of nights around the fire in the camp outside Vallaki, and little Arabelle pulling on her coat, extorting promises of lessons in both swordfighting and divining. Of Arthur Sedgwick and his honest, caring eyes, and his patient instruction in properly using a flintlock, as his husband gleefully offers detailed scientific explanations of the weapon's workings from the side. She twists the ring on her finger.

"I'm not alone," Ezmerelda says simply, and feels resolute steel pouring back. She stops to consider her next words more carefully.

"I watched your actions and your curse destroy a good man's life. But I want you to know that you wanted to take from him, and in the end you took from me, the daughter you profess to care about so much. And now you crow at me about flesh and blood and expect me to, what? Beg you to let me come back? Back to what? A mouldy cell and as short a leash as the current master feels like giving you?"

"Bold words for one given to following an old wretch around like a sad pup, even as he keeps trying to kick you away," Radanavich sneers, then shifts back to sad pity in the blink of an eye. "Oh, yes, my dear, it's so very tragic... I've heard it all. Look at you - you're wasted on him."

"Oh?" Ezmerelda raises an eyebrow cooly, clamps down on the sting to her pride and the deliberate scrape against old wounds, and almost wanting to scream you are the reason he feared that daring to care about someone would be a death sentence for them. "And what would you prefer to be using me for?"

"How dare you! After all I've done for our family, while you throw your lot in with the man who killed your brother and imprisoned your mother!"

Ezmerelda feels suddenly tired, more than anything. "You know he did no such thing. And I've done very well for myself, despite you."

"Have you, now? What price have you paid for your... profession? What has it cost you already?"

"Nothing I wouldn't be ready to pay ten times over if it meant ensuring the safety of an innocent, or beating back those such as you. You still don't understand," Ezmerelda just smiles sadly, allowing only the slightest undercurrent of danger. "I'm neither lost, nor settling for anything, nor desperately grasping at a chance, nor tragically misguided. This is what I want. This-- this cause, this fight, this is exactly what I was meant to do. And I am very, very good at it."

"Oh, Ezmerelda, if excitement and adventure and glory is what you are after, I know of much that you could do! So many causes that your... talents... would be an excellent match for. You do have a certain reputation, and I know several highly influential actors who'd know exactly where to put your skills to use, no matter how they were acquired. You could do so well for yourself! Rise right to the top of the ranks in the blink of an eye, become truly great."

Ezmerelda shakes her head, and sighs, and moves to get up from the sad, solitary seat.

"Ezmerelda--"

She quickly turns towards the bars and leans in, baring her teeth and grinning widely. "I killed the devil Strahd," Ezmerelda smirks at the look of shock she gets in response. "I think your petty schemes are a little below me, don't you?"

She turns to leave, not waiting for a response. The guard leans back in his corner as she moves away from the bars, waving him off.

"Oh, do feel free to let your masters know," she tosses over her shoulder nonchalantly as she makes her way out. "Though I have to say I haven't really looked into whose lapdog you are nowadays."

Ezmerelda hears a frustrated growl behind her as the sickeningly sweet, pleasant mask falls for good. As the door slams shut behind her, she doesn't look back.

She lets the noise of the city drown out her thoughts as she slowly makes her way back to her wagon, more than ready to be on her way elsewhere. Until, after a while, a familiar voice comes swimming up through her mind.

'How do you feel?'

"I don't know," Ezmerelda murmurs, after a long silence. "Ask me tomorrow."

1.5. Notes on useful classification and categorisation

As she finishes rattling off the information she's gathered on a series of apparent annis hag encounters that van Richten asked her for, he looks-- well, 'impressed' is the only word Ezmerelda can think of to describe it.

In the ensuing moment of quiet, he takes off his spectacles, fidgets with them briefly, polishes off a smudge with his handkerchief. Then, he looks her right in the eye. "You, girl, are a veritable sponge."

Ezmerelda flashes him a smug smile, then remembers the other matter she wanted to bring to his attention. She clears her throat, and begins, with uncharacteristic hesitance. "I've also been looking into some... other things. Another way I can contribute, I think."

The only reply is a raised eyebrow, so Ezmerelda steels herself and decides to go forward with her planned demonstration. She quells the nervous fluttering in her stomach, and instead focuses on the points of her own fingers as they trace well-practiced patterns in the air. With a final flick and a quick mutter of the incantation she's quietly recited so, so many nights in her room when she was supposed to be asleep, the very air around her right hand shimmers with heat. A few tense moments later, a small mote of flame appears in her palm.

Ezmerelda bites back an exclamation of joy at the success, tries to keep her expression fairly neutral, and looks to van Richten expectantly.

His eyebrows are, very amusingly, trying to climb into his hairline. "Where in the world did you learn to do that?"

She lets the little flame dance between her hands, casually skip from one to the other, flickering giddily, and feels an odd sense of relief wash over her.

"I saw it in one of your books. Almost by accident, and it... it just made a lot of sense to me, even just skimming over it. So I thought, why not? If I could get a handle on a few of the spells, I could complement your arsenal quite well. Bring more to the fight."

Van Richten nods, but there is a wary undertone to his words. "As long as you aren't making any ill-advised deals and pacts - which, I'll remind you--"

"-- are all of them. I know. Don't worry. I'm only interested in things I can glean by myself."

"Well, I'm not much of an arcane practitioner, though I am quite familiar with a lot of theory. I'm afraid I won't be able to provide any elaborate training or instruction--"

"That's fine," Ezmerelda rushes to say. "I can continue like this. The research, the books - it's..."

She trails off, not quite knowing how and what to explain. Arcane magic is fascinating, surprisingly enjoyable, and strikes a deeply satisfying balance between being hard-won and feeling like it comes naturally to her.

It also feels... hers.

"It's very engaging material," she finishes after a little while. She moves to close her fist and extinguish the tiny fire, but something stops her at the very last moment.

"Indeed," van Richten replies simply, and gets up from his seat. "Well, I do need to go tend to the shop, but rest assured we will discuss the tactical applications of this later today."

Just as he is out the study door and about to start down the stairs, he pauses, and turns back to look at her, a bright and sincere smile on his face. "Very well done, Ezmerelda."

The flame flickers, ready to fly from her fingers, bursting with potential.

"Thank you," she murmurs long after he is gone.

---

It is deep nighttime when Ezmerelda shakes off the last tendrils of the Mists and sets eyes on the cliffs of Mordentshire. The wagon's wheels clatter over rain-slick cobblestones as she navigates the still-familiar streets of the seemingly unchanging harbour town. The cold sea wind makes her tighten her coat around herself, to very little avail.

She can't say she's missed the weather.

By the time she spies the sign neatly painted with the words Herbalist - Dr. Rudolph van Richten, she feels soaked through and entirely miserable, and spends only a moment giving the place a quick look-over.

The shop is in fine shape - if she didn't know better, Ezmerelda could easily believe its owner closed it up for the night and left just yesterday. The wolfsbane and garlic in the planters underneath each window are flourishing. She makes a mental note to make her first order of business in the morning calling in on the neighbors and discussing further arrangements with Mrs. Polk, in whose capable hands van Richten has been leaving things for years.

In the meantime, she fervently hopes for dry clothes and a workable fireplace.

A quick rummage between two bushy wolfsbane plants - the second and third one on the right - produces a spare key, and Ezmerelda remembers with mild amusement her shock at this mundane weakness in van Richten's usually impeccable and overthought defenses, years ago.

"Keys," he'd looked at her over the rim of his spectacles, "are hardly a problem for things that truly want to harm me."

The little bell chimes as she opens the door. Catching a glimpse of herself in the very precisely placed full-length mirror just opposite the entrance, she wastes no time before going upstairs. The second stair from the top creaks its old, familiar reassurance.

Ezmerelda enters the room that used to be hers, in between harrowing hunting trips and trying adventures, during her years training with van Richten. It doesn't seem to have changed much - nor does it seem to be in use as anything but spare storage space.

She does her best not to think about how empty and quiet the house is, or how she's never truly been alone in it. Instead, she hangs up her coat, rolls up her shirt sleeves, unpacks some of her things, and, by the time she gets a proper fire going, realises sleep is the very last thing she feels like doing. Her eyes alight on the small desk in the corner, and she instead decides to do something she hasn't in a while.

She sits down to write.

First, Ezmerelda takes off the ring and sets it aside, muttering a quick good night, Doctor under her breath. Then she takes out some of her collection, observations accumulated over the years - jotted down on everything from thick parchment to old wrapping paper. Combining it with the wealth of van Richten's remaining material and into something eventually coherent will no doubt be a challenge, but a challenge is not something Ezmerelda d'Avenir has ever shied away from.

It is just haphazard, quick notes on anything of consequence that comes to mind at first, carried by an odd nervous energy. A more systematic approach will have to come at some later point.

While knowledge is a key weapon in any hunter's arsenal, honing one's body as well as mind is absolutely necessary, she writes, tapping her foot on the wooden floor in a way that often drove van Richten to distraction. Many of the creatures of the night become, in their cursed states, inhumanly strong, and in such instances one must be particularly careful of engaging them in close quarters, for even the greatest strongman would be at a disadvantage.

However, not all of these encounters need be solved by violence. Many ghosts

She pauses, pen slowly dripping ink onto the half-filled page before her, and sees Erasmus out of the corner of her eye. She turns her head to face him, and for once in their long and unusual life-and-afterlife-spanning acquaintance, she finds she can't quite read him.

Many ghosts are held in their in-between existence due to unfinished business. Tethered to some regret or incomplete task from their mortal lives, they seek resolution and closure. Many hauntings can thus be resolved by investigation, and what I must term a primarily sympathetic approach. Of course, one must also always be wary and on the lookout for deliberately misguiding spectres who seek to play upon one's pity.

The first signs of dawn creep into the room by the time she has moved on from ghosts to wraiths to trying to sort out her notes about creatures that lurk underwater - old notes that have been, to her chagrin, very appropriately and unsalvageably waterlogged.

Ezmerelda manages to light another candle just before her current one sputters out, and rubs at her tired eyes. Then she pauses, gazing idly at the ink stains on her fingers.

She reaches over for a new page, setting her current work aside. There is something else she wants and needs to write, something other than dry facts or hopefully helpful guidelines. The first few sentences come in fits and starts, but soon enough she finds them flowing out of her pen almost of their own accord.

What I would like to make clear is that this is not an inherently bad place. The lands themselves can be beautiful - wondrous, even. Worth living in, and worth fighting for. And the people who live in them do not deserve to live in fear. I, and many others, could simply leave for some better, tamer prospects, yes - but then what? Nothing is gained if we merely surrender an entire world, a collection of lands so fantastically varied and so full of promise, to a cruel, merciless, hungry night. It can't all be abandoned as collateral damage in a great punishment intended for a horrible few. I can't, and won't, allow this to happen.

Maybe the foes are overwhelming, and the fight endless. But a life saved is a life saved. A victory is a victory. One innocent snatched away from a grim fate, one tendril of darkness beaten back - that is enough. But only if we persist at it, day after day after day. And evil may be impossible to ever completely destroy, but it is far weaker and less widespread than it could and doubtlessly wants to be, in at least some small part thanks to our continued efforts.

A dour prospect? Perhaps, for some. Ezmerelda smirks to herself, and gazes down at her veritable manifesto, and thinks back to that cell in Il Aluk.

What better life is there to lead? None, for her.

I, for one, don't intend to give up anytime soon. I hope that in you, dear reader, I can find one of like mind. And perhaps one day we shall find ourselves standing together.

She lights another candle, and continues.

1.6. Conclusions and remarks on future work

She clenches her hands as she steps into the sitting room that morning, decisions made after a long, sleepless night of contemplation. As if fate is conspiring against her, the first thing she sees is Erasmus, hovering over his father's shoulder. He turns to face her as soon as he notices her, a bright smile he saves just for her on his pale, ghostly face. She knows what a struggle it is for him to manifest this way, how much it takes out of him. The thought of his precious few minutes today being this...

It takes immense effort to speak up, interrupting van Richten's apparent focus on the post strewn about the table in front of him.

"I think... I think it's time for me to go."

"Go? Where?" He blinks, looking up from his papers.

Ezmerelda swallows, but hesitates only for a moment. "I don't know," she answers, chin tilted up, almost proud. "But I know we can't go on like this. I don't want to go on like this."

They butt heads and scrape against each other constantly. Chafe and grate and, and, and. She can't remember the last time they agreed on even the most cursory thing. It has reached a level where she fears his presence will become intolerable, and anything binding the two of them together become irreparably soured and tainted.

She refuses to allow this to happen.

Erasmus has drawn a coin. Two sides. He indulges in a small, semi-teasing pantomime, pointing at the two of them as his shimmering, ectoplasmic drawings hover briefly before vanishing like so much smoke, and Ezmerelda shakes her head sadly.

"I don't want to come to resent you, that is all. I don't think I could bear it if I did."

"If you think it for the best, by all means," van Richten says simply, and leaves it at that. He never turns to fully look at her. There is an undercurrent to his voice Ezmerelda can't quite place - something deeply tired, and far more complicated than plain sadness.

It rains heavily that morning as she sets off, as if the world itself wants her to rethink this. The muddy road squelches almost threateningly under her horse's hooves as she leads him forward.

Van Richten doesn't come out to see her off.

"I'll miss you," she breathes to herself, and half-hopes it somehow reaches both of the companions she is leaving behind. But she has only the rain and her horse's steady trot on the trail for company.

It is quiet.

---

Finally, the familiar mists of Darkon, and the countryside of Rivalis, lie before them. The inevitable, at a familiar estate fallen into quite a state of disrepair.

'No, leave it be,' van Richten said, at her hesitantly presented idea of including returning Richten House to at least some of its former glory on their list of unfinished business and loose ends.

Still, this is where he wanted to come. At the end.

Ezmerelda never saw it in its prime. She was a mere child then, kept well away from her family's machinations. Until she was (inevitably, irrevocably) drawn in, her fate forever entangled with that of the van Richten family. But even now, in all its disrepair, rich traces of what the gardens, the orchard, and the house itself used to be permeate the atmosphere, like ghosts themselves.

She walks across the hills of the grounds, all the way around the mansion to the family cemetery. She slows as she moves up to the two most recent graves, so easy to find, and thinks, briefly, of the body van Richten insisted on being burned before they left Barovia, just in case.

Just in case, she agreed, knowing all he knew about what foul magic and foul intentions could do to physical remains in the wrong hands, and built him a pyre.

The headstones before her are simple but elegant, as is the tidily engraved lettering on them.

Ingrid van Richten

Erasmus van Richten

'Well, here we are.' For a disembodied voice softly projecting into her mind, almost as through a mild haze or over some great distance, it is one of the heaviest things Ezmerelda has ever heard.

'A few words, if I may,' van Richten's request comes, gentle, and she nods, finding herself oddly wordless.

'I am so proud of you,' he begins, and the ferocity of it almost startles her. 'I hope you know this, always. If I have ever made you doubt this, as I pushed you away - I am sorry. I regret many things in my life, as one does, no matter what I like to say - but most of all I regret that I didn't tell you this sooner.

You are the best of my life. But more than that, you have grown far beyond me, into a finer person than most could dream of being. And I am sorry I wasn't there for you, that you had to do so much of it on your own. But know that when I see you... I couldn't be happier, or more in awe.'

There is a very brief pause, and then the voice softens again.

'I love you as my own, and am deeply honoured you would consider me, and that I get to consider you, family.'

Ezmerelda swallows once, twice, struggles, then finally lets her tears fall freely.

'Look at you. You don't need me anymore. And I can only hope your legend will far surpass anything I have ever done - there is so much ahead of you! Your light stands so very bright against the darkness. But I am glad, so very glad - selfishly, perhaps - that we were there together, at the end.'

"So am I," she manages a whisper. "Love you too, old man."

'Now I suppose it is time for me to go.'

Erasmus looks at her, bittersweet pouring from him in waves, and he gives a small nod. His form flickers, and then disappears, and Ezmerelda knows she will never see him again.

She knows how the ring works, too. The soul within it can choose to depart whenever it wants to. She knows she doesn't need to do anything - that she couldn't, even if she wanted to. It brings with it a strange sort of peace.

Ezmerelda inclines her head. "I hope you see them soon." Tell Erasmus I'll miss him, she wishes she could say.

She spins the now-inert ring around on her finger, a habit she will need to break. She wants to tear it off, and throw it as far away from herself as she can. She wants to never take it off as long as she lives.

A soft rain starts up, and Ezmerelda feels oddly grateful for the feel of it on her face, even as she knows there is no one here but her.

It is quiet.

---

With gratitude to the notes and tutelage of the esteemed Dr. Rudolph van Richten, whose guidance and wealth of knowledge have proved invaluable on countless occasions, and whose friendship changed the course of my life more than once.

#ezmerelda d'avenir #rudolph van richten #curse of strahd #dnd #dungeons and dragons #fanfiction #my fic #oathkeeper writes things #erasmus van richten #ravenloft #gonna take my horse to the old svalich road #tabletop

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theoreticslut · 4 years

Text

“Bloody hell, it’s only taken you five years.”

Part 2 to “You don’t share real well”

pairing: fred weasley x reader x george weasley

requested: yes

word count: 3k

warnings: references smut but it’s not graphic, fluff

A/N: i didn’t plan on writing a part 2 to this, but i think it turned out so well so thank you so much for requesting it @immajustreadwritereblog !! I hope you like it just as much as I do Xx Also, a HUGE thank you to everyone that’s been reading, commenting, & reblogging my work!! I posted two different stories y e s t e r d a y & they’re both super close if not already at 100 notes!! not to mention i’m also close to 200 followers already! like that’s absolutely crazy!! I feel like I just started this blog so i’m just very overwhelmed and grateful to every one of you! I hope you continue to like my writing and will continue supporting me! I seriously love you all so much <3

Taglist: i’m just going to tag some people that had asked to be tagged in other stories of mine, message me if you’d like to be added or removed!

@justmesadgirl @xuckduck @yikesyikesyikes95 @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog

You groan as you turn over in bed, waking up a bit. You hiss as your head is already pounding from the lack of sleep you’ve had recently. Not only have you been working, but you’d also spend much of the night cuddling with Fred and George and just enjoying each other’s presence.

Since seeing the twins again at Bill and Fleur’s wedding you had nearly moved in with them. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had to go back to school anyways so it’s not like you were missing much at the burrow.

Fred and George had asked you over for a week, which soon turned into two and then three until suddenly it’d had been nearly three months that you’d be there.

“Good morning, darling.” George smiles as he walks into the room carrying a mug of coffee.

“Morning, Georgie.” You smile, watching as he sets the mug down on the stand and then crawling on top of you, laying on top of your body as he wraps his arms around you.

You giggle, smiling widely as you kiss his forehead and run your fingers through his hair.

“Is someone a bit needy this morning?” You whisper, still playing with his hair as he whines a bit.

“I just need you to hold me.”

You smile and nod, kissing his forehead once more before letting him just lay there. Since you’ve sort of moved in with them, moments like this have happened more and more between all of you.

You've more than made up for those few months where you couldn’t see each other. Both of them are showing you more affection than all your years combined, however. It’s almost like they’re trying to catch up on all the time they’ve wanted to hold you and be close to you that they were too afraid do at hogwarts with so many other people around. it was obvious you were all close friends, but truthfully you all had been wary of being too cuddly to prevent any unwanted questions about your guys' relationship from peers and professors.

You weren’t going to complain, you loved the boys and any time you were held by them or got quick kisses from them made you more than happy. You still hadn’t shared your true feelings with them, but why would you when you already had this? If you told them you loved them you were afraid all of this would stop.

“Hey, George, I - what’ve we got here?” Fred asks as he walks into the bedroom, stopping and pouting when he sees George holding you.

“Morning, Freddie.” You smile, getting him to smile a little bit at you before going back to pout at his twin.

“Why am I not getting cuddled?”

“Because it’s my turn. I need some of y/n’s love this morning.” George mumbles out grumpily to his brother, his face pressed into your stomach.

“That’s not fair. You’re always cuddling her.”

“I got here first.” George argues and you sigh, shaking your head at the two.

One thing you could say for sure about these boys was that for being adults, they still very much acted like children at times. it was endearing in a way, however, because you were truly the only person who got to see them both like this.

Fred had made his way over to the two of you and was attempting to push his twin out of the way so he could have you instead. You sigh, chuckling ever so slightly.

“That’s enough you two. I am more than capable of loving you both.”

“You are?” They ask simultaneously, Fred looking up at you as George finally lifts his head from your stomach.

“Of course I am. I’ve loved you both up until now, haven’t I?” You chuckle, not yet realizing what you’ve admitted.

“You love us?” Fred asks, wanting to smile but in total disbelief that you would actually love the both of them like they do you.

“Of course I do.” You smile, pushing back the hair that’s resting on his forehead.

“Like, you really love us?” George asks, sitting up and straddling your body.

“Like as more than friends?” Fred asks.

You nod, blushing madly but not breaking eye contact with either of them.

“Well, yeah. Do you think I’d let anyone else kiss me like you guys do? Do you think I’d have anyone else hold me as much?”

They both try to stop the smiles from taking over their faces, but neither of them succeed.

“We love you too.” George smiles, kissing your lips.

You freeze for a second as this is the first time either of them have actually kissed you. They’d kiss your skin and your head and hands, but they’ve never kissed you.

You smile into the kiss as you kiss him back, you’re lips seeming to perfectly fit his.

“We’ve loved you for years, but weren’t sure how you would take it. We were afraid you’d only love one of us, or even worse not loves us at all.” Fred admits as you and George pull away, George going to kiss and suck on your neck.

“Well I guess you both got pretty lucky, huh?” You smile, leaning over to press a kiss to Fred’s lips.

“That we did.” George smiles, kissing your neck again.

“Let us show you just how lucky you are.” Fred smiles as he pushes you down so you’re lying on your back, placing another loving kiss on your lips before laying down beside you and kissing down your body.

“Boys.” You gasp as Fred kisses just below you belly button, working on removing your shirt as he trails kisses up your belly.

“We’ve been wanting to do this for so long.” Fred admits breathily, as he cups your breasts.

“I love you.” You sigh as George lifts your shirt over your head as Fred works on removing you’re bra.

“Take it all in, princess. This is all for you right now.” Fred smiles, kissing your lips as George presses kisses to your bare thighs below your pajama shorts.

~.~

You can’t help but be happy that night when the three of you head over to the burrow for Christmas dinner with the family. You had finally confessed your feelings to the boys you’ve been crushing on since the second year and Merlin did it work out in your favour.

Not only did they both like you back, but you found out pretty quickly just how blessed you were with these two. They certainly knew what in the bloody hell they were doing when showing you just how lucky you were.

“Merry Christmas, Molly.” You smile, hugging the woman who’s been a second mom to you as you get inside the house.

“Merry Christmas, dear. It’s wonderful to see you again. How has it been living with Fred and George?” She asks as the two hug their father and siblings.

You smile at them, loving how close they were with their family. This is honestly the only thing you've wished for for so many years. You spent hours upon hours imagining what it'd be like to be a part of a loving family with a loving partner that's proud to show you off to them. Little did you expect when meeting Fred and George, that they'd be the ones to give it to you.

“It’s been really nice. I’ve never realized how much I miss them when we’re apart.” You admit, chuckling as you get your jacket off.

She smiles at you, taking your jacket and setting it over the back of one of the kitchen table chairs.

“For the record, we miss you too whenever you’re not around.” George smiles, wrapping an arm around your waist as Fred hangs his around your shoulders.

They still can’t believe what had finally happened earlier. It almost felt like a faraway dream, but knew differently when they could both recall the taste of your lips and your scent. They couldn’t wait to get you back in bed tonight. Now that you were theirs, they didn't plan on spending much time away from you.

They'd never admit it, but those few months you guys spent apart were literal torture for them. So many nights the two of them had laid awake in their separate beds wishing they could conjure you there with them. They had missed the faintly sweet smell of your perfume that felt like home to them. They missed your body heat that was never enough to keep them warm if needed, but was comforting nonetheless. They missed having your voice and laugh fill the space around them.

“For Merlin's sake, you three look so cute together. When will you finally get together?” She chuckles, bringing a blush to your cheeks as you gaze down at the floor.

You look up at the twins as they smile down at you. After you had all finished this morning and lay in the post-orgasmic bliss, they finally asked you to be theirs and theirs only, kissing your fingers and nose and shoulders, pressing quick kisses to your lips as you said yes.

“Well, mum.” George starts, as you smile.

You knew she’d be excited. You had the inkling suspicion that she’s been well aware of your feelings for each other long before you guys were.

“Surprise.” Fred says, smiling at you and then over at his mother.

“No! Really?!” She gapes, smiling widely as she clasps her hands together.

“What happened?” Arthur asks, as the family come rushing to the kitchen.

“Wait, did they finally get together?!” Ginny squeals, rushing over to you as she notices how the twins are holding you.

“We did.” George chuckles, kissing your forehead as their mum and sister gasp, Ginny squealing some more in excitement.

“I knew it! I knew they liked each other!” She cheers, hugging you three and jumping in excitement.

“It’s about time. Bloody hell, it’s only taken you five years to get here.” Ron states, earning a smack in the head from Hermione.

“What? It’s true.” He pouts, rubbing the place hermione smacked him.

“Yeah, but you don’t need to point it out. Just be happy for them, Ronald.”

You three chuckle at the younger sibling and his girlfriend before each of your boyfriends give you a sweet kiss on the lips to remind you just how much they love you, even if it had taken five years to admit it.

✨BONUS✨

“Freddie, Georgie. It’s too early to be up.” You groan as the two of them are kissing you and tracing their fingers along your sides or arms. Essentially they’re just not letting you sleep and you’re not sure why.

“Princess, today’s a special day.” Fred smiles, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“It’s my birthday, I’d like to sleep in a bit longer.” You huff, burying your face into the pillows.

You can feel George start kissing at your shoulder as he traces patterns into you thighs. You're not gonna lie and say it wasn’t turning you on, but it was certainly annoying you.

“Guys” you sigh as Fred sucks on the spot just below your earlobe.

“Are you really going to complain when you get to wake up to this?” Fred asks, chuckling at you.

“You two are unbelievable. I swear to Merlin you’re the horniest guys I’ve ever met.” You huff, turning over so your laying on your back

“And that’s a bad thing?” George asks, kissing your lips.

“Not bad, but annoying at times.” You quip, smirking and kissing him back as Fred traces patterns into the skin where your shirt has risen.

“We just want to treat the birthday girl to a good morning. We have a few things planned for today and thought you’d enjoy this first.” He smiles, placing a few hot kisses to your neck.

“You know what I'd like even better?" you ask, smiling as you loosely wrap your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips as he keeps tracing his finger over your thighs.

"What's that, darling?"

"Some breakfast in bed. Maybe some pancakes and hot chocolate. With some strawberries and bananas cut up on the side."

Fred chuckles as George smiles at you, biting his lip as he admires your beauty.

 "I'm sure we could do that for you, princess. After we finish here." Fred smiles, kissing your nose causing you to scrunch it because it tickles.

"I'm holding you to it, Weasleys." you smirk, moaning as george presses his finger against you in just the right spot.

~.~

As promised, Fred and George cooked you breakfast after you had all finished and you hopped in the shower. You sigh contently as the warm water hits your back. It's been just over a year and a half that the three of you have been together and you don't think you've ever been happier.

Sure you guys had your problems from time to time, usually one of the boys getting jealous for some silly reason or you getting upset with their continued immaturity on some topic or another, but you were always able to resolve it and move forward. Somehow you three just worked.

You rinse off your body and make sure the majority of your conditioner was rinsed out of your hair before you shut off the water and step out of the large shower. that is one thing you loved about this apartment, was how large the shower was. It was a walk in with a rain shower head and more than enough room for you, fred, and george to shower together.

You dry yourself off with a towel before wrapping your hair up in it and sliding your silk robe over your arms, tying it in a loose bow at your waist.

"Don't you look stunning." fred smiles at you when you walk up to the island and sit down. He serves you a plate of pancakes with a swirl of whipped cream on top along with some sliced strawberries and bananas next to them.

You smile, blowing a kiss at him as you take a bite of the food.

"mm, thank you loves." you smile at the two of them when george sets a mug of hot chocolate in front of you.

"I love you two so much. I hope you know that." You smile, taking another bite of your pancakes as Fred hands George a plate of pancakes and takes one for himself.

"We love you, darling." george smiles.

"More than you could ever know." fred adds.

you nod and smile at the two, feeling your heart inflate with love. you honestly aren't sure what you would be doing with yourself if you didn't have these two.

~.~

You smile as you take in the scene around you. After a day spent shopping around muggle London as well as diagon alley with fred and george, you were now having a beautiful dinner with the rest of the weasley's at your guys' shared apartment.

Fred and George had prepared a wonderful chicken casserole with bannocks (biscuits/rolls) and had invited their parents, their siblings (Ron, Ginny, Bill and Fleur being the only ones who came), harry, hermione, and some of the members of the order, including Sirius, Lupin and Tonks. You really couldn't have asked for a better evening. You were surrounded by people who loved and cared for and who loved and cared for you.

"I think it's about time for gifts, don't you, princess?" Fred asks after a few minutes of everyone chatting after eating.

"Oh, uh, if that's what everyone would like to do? I don't mind waiting." you smile.

"Yes, let's see you open gifts! I just know you're going to love mine." ginny smiles and you chuckle.

"alright, then. You guys tell me what i'm doing."

Fred and george smile as they start handing you gifts that you open one by one. Eventually you get down to one last gift that everyone seems excited about.

You look at it confused as it's such a small box, yet the twins had purposefully held it until last.

"go on, open it up, dear." your hear molly say and you smile, working on carefully ripping open the wrapping around it.

"What did you guys get me? As if you haven't already done enough for me today." you chuckle, looking at your boyfriends.

"just open it. I think you'll like it." fred smiles and george urges you to keep opening it.

you chuckle lightly, shaking your head as you continue unwrapping it to find a small, black velvet box. Suddenly you realize what it is and look up, mouth agape.

"you didn't. did you?" you ask, tears already starting to build in your throat and behind your eyes as you look over at the two red heads standing behind everyone else smiling directly at you.

"we did." george smiles as they both walk over to you, kneeling in front of you, fred taking the box from your hands and opening it to reveal a stunning two band ring.

you can't believe this, letting out a small gasp and covering your mouth as it hangs open when you finally see the ring in all its beauty. the first band is thin, consisting solely of tiny diamonds around the entire circumference. the second band is just as thin, also consisting of tiny diamonds around the circumference, but this one sporting a single diamond in the middle.

"y/n, darling, we love you more than life itself. we're honestly not sure what we would do with ourselves if we didn't have you." fred starts.

"fred and I were so excited when you told us you loved us that day just over a year and a half ago. we're aware that this may seem real sudden as we haven't been dating terribly long, but in our hearts we knew we wanted to be with you for life since our fifth year at hogwarts at least. it's probably been longer than that in all honesty." george chuckles, smiling at you as tears threaten to spill out of your eyes.

"we would be the happiest men alive if you agree to marry us. in return, we would do everything in our power to make you the happiest woman in the world. What do you say, princess?" fred asks, him and george watching you as you nod, choking back a sob as you answer.

"yes. yes! i can't imagine saying anything but yes. I love you two more than anything in this life." you smile, tears now free falling down your cheeks as you pull the two of them into a hug while everyone cheers around you.

"we're so happy for you three. you truly have no idea what it means to your father and I to see you so happy and in love." molly smiles, a few tears falling from her eyes as she look on at the three of you, so obviously in love with each other.

"welcome to the family, y/n! we're going to have so much fun now that we're sisters." ginny cheers and you chuckle, wiping at your eyes as each of your fiancés’ place a band on your finger, the diamond encrusted one going on first, followed by the one with the single diamond.

"we love you, darling." george smiles as he kisses you, holding your waist.

"so much." fred adds, taking his turn kissing you when george steps back.

575 notes · View notes

dialovers-translations · 4 years

Text

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Sakamaki Prologue

← RETURN TO GENERAL PROLOGUE

ー The scene starts in the classroom

Yui: ...I’m going home by car today.

Female student C: I see. Well, we might be getting some bad weather, so that is probably a wise choice.

Yui: Eh? Really?

Female student C: Yeah. They said so on the weather forecast. I’ll be heading home then. Bye bye!

Yui: See you tomorrow! Bye bye!

ー The scene shifts to the outside of Ryoutei Academy

Yui: ( Speaking of which, Ayato-kun didn’t attend classes today. )

( We both went to school together, so I wonder if he was skipping class somewhere? )

( He should know he’ll be in big trouble if Reiji-san finds out though... )

Driver: ーー My apologies for the wait.

Yui: Thank you very much.

ー She gets inside the car

*Thud*

Yui: I’m the first one here. That’s neーー

Ayato: Yo, Chichinashi!

Yui: Ayato-kun! I haven’t seen you around all day, where have you been?

Ayato: Aah? That’s none of your business, is it?

Yui: That’s true but...

Laito: ーー If you’re curious about Ayato-kun’s whereabouts, I spotted him over at the infirmary...Sleeping soundly with a cute expression on his face. Nfu~

Ayato: Wha...!? Cute!? Stop spoutin’ disgustin’ crap!

Laito: Eeh~? I’m complimenting you, so you should just honestly thank me.

Yui: And where did you hang out instead of attending class, Laito-kun?

Laito: Bitch-chan, you want to know my secrets? If you insist, I suppose I could tell you...

Every・single・one, okay~? (1)

Yui: No, I’ll pass.

Laito: Geez! I wish you wouldn’t turn down my offer so quickly?

Kanato: What made you think she would be curious about your secrets? I wouldn’t want to hear about those even if I was forced to.

Yui: Kanato-kun!

Laito: Kanato-kun, how cruel! You don’t have to be so mean, do you?

Kanato: Being forced to listen to something you don’t want to hear is pure torture after all...

That being said, Laito. The space next to her. That’s my seat so could you make some room?

You move away a little further too, Ayato.

Ayato: In your dreams! (2) The seat next to Chichinashi is obviously mine!

Kanato: Haah?

Shuu: ...Noisy as always. I could hear you guys’ voices all the way from outside the car...

Yui: Shuu-san...!

Laito: Oh geez~ You’re acting as if you’re the only outsider.

Shuu: I’m not picky about which seat I take after all.

I understand why you’d want to sit close to her, but making too much of a fuss proves that you’re all still kids.

Ayato: Aah!? Who are ya callin’ a kid!?

Reiji: ...Good grief. You lot are at it again?

Laito: Nfu~ Nice observation, Reiji. I can’t believe you’d guess we’re quarreling.

Reiji: This happens every day after all. How ridiculous. Do you not think it is about time you fight over a different topic for once?

Furthermore...Shuu. Could you not hog the seats all for yourself? You are in the way.

Shuu: There’s plenty to pick from right? Just take one of the other ones.

Reiji: If I sit on the opposite side, I will have no choice but to pain my eyes with the sight of you, no? Come on, make way.

Shuu: Haah, annoying...

Reiji: I am not being ‘annoying’. As the first heir to this family...

Subaru: Can’t you guys pipe the fuck down?...Geez...

*Thud*

Yui: Welcome back, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: Y-Yeah...

Oi, you shitheads. Move out of the way. I’m sittin’ next to her.

Kanato: Hah? You want to sit next to her as well?

Subaru: I never...! It’s not like I want to sit next to her...

I just like the way that seat feels.

Laito: Nfu~ Dare I say that’s a rather cringy excuse? Kukuku~

Subaru: Aah!?

Yui: ( Somehow seeing the guys are still the same as always makes me feel relieved. )

ー The car starts driving

Yui: ( Quite a lot has happened since I came to this house, but I’ve sort of gotten used to it over time... )

( I might just be imagining things, but I feel like the guys have become a lot kinder compared to when I first met them as well. )

( I guess feelings really do change... )

Reiji: ーー Speaking of which, did you all hear?

Ayato: What?

Reiji: Apparently there will be two transfer students coming from the campus in Great Britain.

Yui: Yes, now that you mention it, our teacher said something about that.

Subaru: Props to those guys for goin’ through the extra trouble.

Laito: Do you know something about them?

Reiji: No, not really.

Laito: Then why would you bring that up?

Reiji: It’s simple idle talk. The silence was getting on my nerves.

*CRASH*

Yui: ...!

Kanato: That was the thunder.

Ayato: It started pourin’ as well. What a dragー

Yui: ...The sky is pitch black as well...

Shuu: I mean, it’s night-time after all, so obviously it’d be? What are you saying?

Yui: That’s true but the moon was out earlier so...

Ah, speaking of which, the lunar eclipse will be happening soon, right?

Subaru: The eclipse?

Yui: Yeah.

Reiji: Exactly. I actually wanted to give you all a warning regarding said topic.

Laito: Eh~? What is it~?

Reiji: As you should be well aware, we are not unaffected by the lunar eclipse.

Yui: Eh? Is that so?

Reiji: Well, I doubt there will be any large changes.

We might say or do some things which are out of the ordinary...As well as grow somewhat unstable.

Yui: I see...

Ayato: Oh? Are you worried, Chichinashi?

Yui: Just a little.

Shuu: ーー During last time’s lunar eclipse, the Old Man was so fussy about it, I thought I was gonna go crazy.

Laito: ...Ahー ...I just remembered. We were still living in the Demon World back then, weren’t we?

Kanato: The night is much longer over there, so it was the worst...

Ayato: I remembered. He locked us up inside the castle, didn’t he?

I wonder why that old fart was so wary of it?

Kanato: I picked up some things about that. Apparently...There is a possibility some evildoers could come and attack us...

Yui: Evildoers...?

Ayato: Yeah! You know! He means the bad guys!

Laito: Do you want us to applaud you for that answer? (3)

Reiji: Either way, please be even more cautious than usual, understood?

Unlike the one in the Demon World, the eclipse will be over in just a few hours this time. I am sure you can at least endure it for that long?

Yui: ( Out of the ordinary...Will everything be okay? I’ve gotten a little worried. )

Laito: Nfufu...

Subaru: The fuck you chucklin’ for, Laito...? It gives me the creeps.

Laito: I figured out what’s on Bitch-chan’s mind~

Yui: Eh...?

Laito: You were wondering just now...What exactly he meant with ‘saying or doing things out of the ordinary’, no?

Yui: ...!

Laito: I figured it out by looking at your expression. You really are such a lewd girl~

Yui: Wha...!? Why does it translate to that!?

Laito: You want to experiment, don’t you? Doing all sorts of things...While we’re being toyed around with by the moon...~

I mean, it would be different from usual, right? I totally relate to you wanting to switch things up every once in a while, nfu~

Reiji: ...Laito. I think you’ve said enough. You are corrupting my ears.

Yui: ( The lunar eclipse, huh...? I hope it passes without anything happening. )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: It’s this late already...? I suppose I should hit the hay soon.

Reiji: Oh dear? Going to bed already?

Yui: Yes. It is starting to become a little light outside as well.

Reiji: How about a cup of tea before bed? I got my hands on this new brand of herbal tea.

I would not mind treating you to some?

Yui: Ah, I’ll gladly have some!

Reiji: Very well. Then please wait a few.

ー Reiji walks away as Ayato enters the living room

Ayato: Oh, who do we have here! Not goin’ to bed yet?

Yui: Reiji-san offered me some tea, so I’ll get some rest after I’ve finished my drink.

Ayato: Che...What’s so good ‘bout that crap which tastes of grass?

Yui: Grass...? No way, it’s delicious.

Ayato: That’s what it tastes like to me. I’m a carnivore (4) rather than a herbivore after all! ...This stuff’s more my ‘cup of tea’.

ー Ayato moves closer and pins her down

*Thud*

Yui: W-Wait, Ayato-kun! What are you...!?

Ayato: Lemme suck you. I’m thirsty for blood right now...

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( ...At this rate, he’ll take my blood...! )

R-Right! Ayato-kun, did you know?

*Rustle*

Ayato: Aah!?

Yui: ーー S-Speaking of carnivores, I heard this rumor about a wolf being spotted in the city...

Ayato: A wolf!?

Yui: Y-Yeah. Apparently tons of people witnessed it, so the rumors are spreading like wildfire...

Ayato: Che. What bullshit are you spoutin’? You actually believe there was a wolf!?

Yui: But you know, at school...I alsoーー

Laito: Spotted~ (5)

Yui: L-Laito-kun!

Ayato: ...Laito, don’t get in my way.

Laito: Oh no no. If you want to suck Bitch-chan’s blood, you have to get my permission first.

Ayato: Why do I have to get your permission for everythin’, huh!?

Laito: Ehー? Why, you ask? Well...

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah!?

Laito: Because Bitch-chan belongs to me~ Right?

Say, Bitch-chan? Wasn’t this ‘wolf’ you saw wearing a hat?

Yui: Eh!?

Laito: The Big Bad Wolf wearing a hat always has his vision locked on the cute Little Red Riding Hood, you know~?

Ayato: Keh. ‘Big Bad Wolf’, my ass! Anyway, Chichinashi. Did you seriously see a wolf?

Yui: Y-Yeah...Probably...

Laito: When? Where?

Yui: After classes today. On the rooftop at school...

Ayato: Aah? The rooftop? Hah, ridiculous. I bet you just mistook some shadow for a wolf.

Laito: Besides, that’s exactly where I was after classes today.

Reiji: ーー Why were you there after school?

Laito: ...! R-Reiji. Didn’t see you there.

Reiji: Yes. I sure am. Is that a problem for you?

Laito: Not really~?

Reiji: Good grief. With you guys, I never know what to expect the second I take my eyes off you.

You’re either trying to suck her blood, or skipping class...

Ayato: ...! H-How do you know I tried to bite her just now!? You weren’t around earlier, were you!?

Reiji: ーー It became clear as day to me the second I saw her disheveled clothes.

Yui: Eh...! Ah...

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: You lot truly are beyond hopeless.

ーー Here you go, Yui. I’ve prepared your tea.

Yui: T-Thank you very much!

*Cling*

Reiji: ...Well then, regarding what you said just now...

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: Could you fill me in on the details?

Yui: You mean about the wolf?

Laito: It was just Bitch-chan’s eyes playing tricks on her, no?

Isn’t it like those people who say they can ‘sense’ ghosts after they’ve been told a place is haunted?

Reiji: I am talking to her.

Yui: U-Uhm...

ー Yui tells him the full story

Reiji: I see.

Yui: However, I’m pretty sure I just saw a wild dog or something along those lines...

Subaru: ...What would a wild dog be doin’ up on the roof? That was a wolf.

Yui: Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: You probably don’t know, but in the Demon World, there are other demonic species who can alter their appearance into those of a snake, eagle or wolf.

We’re livin’ here too, so it wouldn’t be that far-fetched for some wolf to show up.

Yui: T-Then, a resident of the Demon World has changed into a wolf and come to this city?

Subaru: Guess so? There aren’t any wild wolves livin’ ‘round these parts, right?

Reiji: I considered that possibility for a second too, however...

Ayato: What?

Reiji: The Wolf clan living in the Demon World is extremely territorial. Well, the same could be said about the snakes too...

I simply cannot fathom they would come to the human world.

Laito: Ahー ...Now that you mention it, they really are.

I went through hell and back once after messing around with a girl on Wolf territory...

Subaru: ...Then how do you explain the wolf wanderin’ ‘round this city!?

*Thud*

Yui: S-Subaru-kun, calm down.

Reiji: Exactly. Do you really need to lose your temper over everything?

Ayato: Can’t we look at it this way? It’s probably not that concerned ‘bout us.

Vampires aren’t territorial after all.

Reiji: That might be the case for us, but I doubt the same can be said about them.

It is part of their natural instinct after all...

Laito: Nfu~ Then, basically you want to say that the wolf which has been sighted in the city is just a regular one?

Reiji: Or rather, there is one other possibility I can think of.

Yui: Another possibility...?

Reiji: In the Demon World, one more species going by the name of the ‘First Bloods’ exists.

They are said to be the ancestors of every species living in the Demon World.

Ayato: The fuck? That’s a first to me. Besides, I’ve never run into one of those over at the Demon World either.

Reiji: Of course not. They suffered defeat in a war against our Father and Demon Lord Burai, before being banished to a castle.

They are forbidden from leaving.

Laito: Then wouldn’t it be impossible for them to show up here in the first place?

Reiji: You are indeed right. But well, they possess the abilities of the wolf, eagle, snake and bat all at once.

Therefore, it would be possible for them to transform into wolves as well. I simply wanted to bring it up as one possible explanation.

Subaru: Well, I don’t give a damn. Whether it’s a Wolf or a First Blood.

If they get in the way, I’m gonna crush them!

Reiji: Well, a wolf is hardly a threat to us, but I suppose it would be dangerous for a human such as yourself.

Please be careful, okay? If things take a turn for the worse, do avoid being eaten. Understood?

Yui: Y-Yes...

( Seems like there’s still many things about the Demon World I don’t know. )

( Also the rumored wolf in town...I wonder if he actually exists? Then what I saw might just be... )

( ...I don’t really know yet, but I should definitely be careful for now. )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the classroom

Yui: ( Today’s first period is English, huh...? I should take out my textbook and notes...My homework sheet isーー )

*Rattle*

Homeroom teacher: Oiー. Everyone, sit down. I’m going to introduce the new transfer student.

He won’t be transferring into this classroom, but I’ll at least let him introduce himself.

Shin: ...I’m Tsukinami Shin. Nice to meet y’all.

Ayato: ...That guy...

Yui: ( Ayato-kun...? )

Homeroom teacher: He only recently returned to the country after living in Great Britain, so he’ll be taking class in a special classroom for quite some time.

That being said, you’re all students of the same academy, so treat him well, okay?

Homeroom teacher: Ahー Also...If possible, I’d like for someone to show him around the campus.

Shin: Sensei, may I?

Homeroom teacher: Yes, what is it?

Shin: I would like to ask the young lady over there to give me a tour of the school.

Yui: Eh? M-Me?

Shin: Exactly. Can I count on you?

Yui: ...I don’t mind but...

Shin: We’ll see each other during the break then?

ー He leaves the classroom

Yui: ( ...Why me? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the hallway at school

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi.

Yui: Ayato-kun? And Kanato-kun as well? ...What’s wrong?

Kanato: No, I simply had...somewhat of a weird hunch...

Yui: A weird hunch...?

( Could they be talking about Shin-kun? )

Ayato: You’re gonna show that dude ‘round the place now?

Yui: Yeah, that’s the plan.

Kanato: Do you truly believe you have the right to decide that?

Yui: ( I-I should have figured they’d be upset about that. )

B-But he asked me out of the blue...and the teacher also told us to be nice to him...

Ayato: ...I know that, but still.

Listen up. Be careful of that dude. ...I can’t really put it into words, but he’s givin’ me bad vibes.

Yui: Eh?

Kanato: ...I shall warn you as well. Although I believe it would be best for me to tag along.

For some reason, I feel like I want to keep my distance from him...

Yui: You too, Kanato-kun...?

( I wonder why the two of them are so wary? )

Ayato: Well, we’re ‘round as long as you stay on campus, so it should be fine.

Don’t let your guard down, ‘kay? Understood?

Yui: Y-Yeah.

Kanato: Ah...He has arrived. Well then...

ー Ayato and Kanato leave

Yui: ( ...I wonder what he meant with ‘bad vibes’? )

Shin: Hey, thanks for earlier.

Yui: Yeah. Well then, let me show you around right away...

Shin: I don’t need to see the campus. Instead, why don’t we drop by the rooftop?

Yui: Eh? The roof...? I don’t mind but...Why...?

Shin: ...I figured you might want to witness the lunar eclipse.

Yui: Aah, now that you mention it...

Shin: Also, the inside of this school really reeks (6) for some reason...

Yui: Eh?

Shin: Nothing. Let’s hurry up and go.

Yui: Yeah...

ー The two of them walk away

Shuu: ...

ー The scene shifts to the rooftop

Shin: Aah, the eclipse has begun.

Yui: You’re right...!

( The moon’s colored a bright crimson...slowly becoming chipped, amazing! )

Shin: Is this your first time witnessing one?

Yui: Yeah. It’s a first for me...How beautiful, don’t you think?

Shin: Beautiful, huh?

ー Somebody walks up to them

???: ...Shin.

Shin: Hey, Nii-san.

Yui: Eh?

Shin: Let me introduce him. This is my Nii-san, his name’s...

Carla: I’m Tsukinami Carla.

Yui: N-Nice to meet you...! My name’s Komori Yui.

( I see. Now that you mention it, when the teacher said two transfer students...He must have been talking about Shin-kun and his older brother. )

Carla: ...

Yui: ( ...That being said, he is somewhat of an intimidating individual... )

Shin: Neither of us are used to living here, so we’ll be counting on your help, okay?

Yui: Yeah...If you’re fine with me...

Carla: Shin.

Shin: Yes, Nii-san?

Carla: Take a look.

Shin: Eh?

Yui: ...Ah...!

Shuu: ...

Yui: Shuu-san?

What’s the matter? Are you perhaps here to watch the Lunar Eclipse as we...

Shuu: Haah? Does it look like that to you?

Yui: ...Right.

ー Shuu walks up to Yui

Shuu: ーー Let’s go.

Yui: Eh? M-Me?

Shuu: Yeah. Hurry up.

Yui: B-But...

Carla: I don’t mind. Go if you must.

Shin: Nii-san, are you sure?

Carla: Yes.

Yui: T-Then...See you later. Please tell me if you need anything. Now if you’d excuse me.

ー Yui leaves with Shuu

Shin: Nii-san, do you think we’ll be able to use her?

Carla: No chance.

Shin: Eh? For real? Geez. I was kind to her for nothing then...

If she won’t be of any use to us, why don’t we take her down alongside this school which stinks of Vampires...

Burning everything to the ground...Kukuku. What do you say?

Carla: While it would be impossible in her current state, if we cleanse her, she might just...

Shin: Cleansing, huh? What a drag. For one, I doubt I’ll be able to stand the stench of those Vampires.

But, if we have no other choice, guess it can’t be helped.

Carla: Get everything in order by the end of tonight. Understood?

Shin: Roger. Well, I could probably win against those Vampires while they’re weakened by the lunar eclipse using just one arm.

Carla: Do not let down your guard. That man from just now...He seemed to have caught on somewhat.

Shin: I know.

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: Wait, Shuu-san!

Shuu: ...Did those guys from earlier tell you anything?

Yui: Eh? No...nothing...

Shuu: I see.

Yui: ...What’s gotten into all of you? I feel as if you’ve been very wary of those two this whole time...

Shuu: You saw it too, right? The lunar eclipse has started.

Because of that, our intuition is off compared to usual. Reiji mentioned it yesterday as well, remember?

We may act or say things out of ordinary...And at the same time, our five senses don’t quite work as well.

Yui: ( Right...That’s why everyone is even more on guard than usual. )

I understand. I’ll be careful.

( I wonder if everything will be okay...While they’re under the eclipse’s effects? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to inside the limousine

Yui: ( Phew, I’m glad the day passed without anything happening in the end. )

ー Ayato boards the vehicle

Ayato: Hm? It’s just you today?

Yui: Yup. Where’s everyone else?

Ayato: How should I know? Since they’re not here, I guess they’re not going home by car today?

Yui: ...

Ayato: What are you making that face for?

Yui: No. I’m just a little worried, considering the lunar eclipse has begun as well.

Ayato: Keh. I’m the only one you should be concerned about.

Driver: ーー May I start the vehicle?

Ayato: I don’t mind.

ー The car starts driving

Yui: Will everything be okay...?

Ayato: Are you that worried? You piss me off. You’re just a Chichinashi too!

Yui: I mean, you were all acting kind of off today as well...

Ayato: Che. They’re no kids, I’m sure it’ll be fiーー

ー The car suddenly comes to a halt

Yui: Kyaaah...!!

Ayato: Woah...!?

Driver: A-Ayato-sama...!!

Ayato: ...The fuck was that...!?

Driver: W...Wolves are...!!

Ayato: Aah!?

*HOOOOOOOOWL*

Yui: ...!

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi...! Move closer!

*Rustle*

Yui: Ayato-kun, what on earth is...?

Ayato: I don’t know...

Either way, don’t leave my side...!!

Yui: Y-Yeah...

*HOOOOOOOOOWL*

Yui: ...!

Ayato: Rest assured...Chichinashi, you belong to me. No way in hell I’m handin’ you over to some wolf!

Yui: Ayato-kun...!!

ー One of the wolves breaks through the window

*SHATTER*

Ayato: Che!!

ー Ayato is attacked by the wolf while protecting Yui

Yui: Ayato-kun!!!!

Ayato: Fuck...That hurt! The fuck’s your problem!!?

ー The wolf continues its assault

Ayato: Guh...Chichinashi, don’t you dare move from underneath me...!!

Yui: B-But...!

Ayato: Shut up...Guah...!!

*RIIIIIIP*

Ayato: ...Guh...Uu...!!

Yui: ( Oh no, at this rate, Ayato-kun will...!! )

???: Tsk...Where did you all come from...!? Fuck off...!

*THUD*

ー Subaru enters the car

Subaru: What are you doin’!?

*THUD*

ー The wolf backs off

Yui: ...Subaru-kun...!

Subaru: Che...Things are this bad even tho Ayato was ‘round? ...Take that!!

*THUD*

Ayato: Che...

Yui: Ayato-kun...! Things will be okay now...! Hang in there!

Subaru: Oi. Which one of you bastards is next, huh!!?

*Whistle*

*HOOOOOOWL*

Subaru: ...!? Makin’ a run for it...!? Wait...!!

Yui: Subaru-kun...! Wait! Please...Don’t go...!!

Subaru: Che...Fuck...

Yui: Ayato-kun is...!

Ayato: Ugh...

Subaru: He’s out cold...Did he protect you?

Yui: Yeah...!

Subaru: Che...He’s got bite wounds all over...Fuck...They were Wolves from the Demon World after all.

Oi, you. Lend me a hand for a sec. Support this shoulder...

Yui: Okay...!

*Rustle*

Subaru: There we go. I’ll handle the rest. Let’s go. We gotta head back home asap.

Yui: ...Is Ayato-kun okay?

Subaru: Dunno. I’m not a doctor. We gotta show him to Reiji first.

ーー Oi, driver! Che...Our Familiar was beaten as well...

*Whistle*

Yui: What are we gonna do?

Subaru: I called over my Familiar for now. We can leave things be here. Let’s go!

Yui: Okay...!

( Why were we suddenly attacked...? )

( Also, those Wolves from earlier...Where did they...? )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Ayato-kun, stay strong...!

Reiji: ...His wounds are rather severe. We will have to make a visit to the Demon World to receive help from a clinic.

Kanato: Is it that bad?

Reiji: If he had been a human, this number of wounds would have resulted in an instant death.

Yui: ...!

Laito: Ayato-kun tried to play the hero all by himself...

Reiji: We were fortunate Subaru rushed to the scene at once, if he had been even a second delayed...

His throat might have been ripped up to shreds.

Subaru: ...The fuck did those wolves want...? Is the Wolf clan trying to declare war on us!?

Shuu: ...How did you feel about the situation? You’re the only one who actually went head to head with them.

Subaru: I don’t know...I just felt like they were kinda different from the Wolves I would often spot ‘round in the Demon World...

Reiji: If I recall correctly, our Father and the King of the Wolf clan have always been been on good terms.

I find it hard to believe that they - who are so loyal to their own leader - would come and assault us.

Subaru: Then what are they!?

Shuu: First Bloods...

Laito: ...Aren’t those guys locked up in a castle at the Demon World?

Shuu: They should be. However, there’s a possibility they have managed to find an opening to leave the castle.

Reiji: Either way, let us return to the Demon World at once, Shuu.

Shuu: Yeah. Let’s go back. We need to report this to the Old Man too.

Laito: Good grief. We have to return to the Demon World during the eclipse again, huh...?

Kanato: ...We have no other choice...

Yui: Uhm, I...

Shuu: You will stay behind here.

Yui: Eh!? But...

Shuu: The Wolves attacked Ayato. Which means you aren’t their target.

Reiji: That sounds like a good idea. Furthermore, the eclipse is ongoing over at the Demon World as well.

We do not know what may happen. You are a human as well.

Yui: ( Good point...If a human such as myself goes to the Demon World, I’ll only end up slowing them down. )

( I’m worried about Ayato-kun and the others but... )

You’ll be able to come back once the lunar eclipse has ended here, right?

Laito: I’d love to, but I’m not sure?

Reiji: Depending on the wolves’ identity, we might have to end up staying at the Demon World for a while.

Yui: But, there’s an eclipse going on over at the Demon World as well, right? Isn’t it dangerous since you don’t know what may happen...?

Subaru: That’s true but the castle’s bein’ protected by our shitty father’s magic, so don’t worry.

Yui: ...

Subaru: Oh come on, don’t look so anxious. I’m hesitant to leave you all by yourself as well...

Shuu: Haah...It’s a pain but we have no other choice. Oi, let’s get going guys.

ー They start walking away

Shuu: I’m leaving the house in your care.

Yui: Yes...

Laito: It saddens me to have to leave your side...But we can’t leave Ayato-kun like this either.

Kanato: I’ll let you have my pudding, so please wait here like you’ve been told to, okay?

Reiji: Well then...Subaru, please carry Ayato.

Subaru: Haah!? Me again!? Don’t be shittin’ me!!

Yui: ( You guys... )

( Please don’t let anything happen... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Haah...

( Everyone left for the Demon World so I’m all by myself...Somehow the manor feels even more spacious than usual... )

*Rumble*

Yui: ...!!

( I’m a little lonely. Actually, now that I think of it, since I’m alone here now... )

( I could just run away, right? It’s not like anyone’s keeping an eye on me... )

( But...It’s not like I have anywhere to go still...Besides, is there still even a point in running still...? )

I wonder since when I’ve gotten this used to my life here...?

( At first, I was so terribly scared. It still hurts to have my blood sucked even now...But. )

( Through getting to know everyone, it’s only still a little but...I... )

*HOOOOOWL*

Yui: !!!

( Oh no, the wolves again...? They didn’t target me last time though... )

( Don’t tell me, they think everyone’s still here...? )

...Uu...

ー The scene shifts to the underground waterway

Yui: Haah...haah...!

( In this case, I should try going to the Demon World, even if I end up being a burden. )

( Who knows what will happen to me if I remain here... )

( I’m sure...He will for sure save me... )

[ Choose Shuu ] [ Choose Reiji ] [ Choose Ayato ]

[ Choose Kanato ] [ Choose Laito ] [ Choose Subaru ]

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) He literally just says ‘my secrets’ and pauses between each syllable of secret (ひ・め・ご・と). However, in English ‘se・crets’ doesn’t have the same effect since it’s only 2 syllables, so I changed it a little. He already mentions ‘secret’ in the previous sentence, so it doesn’t change much about the meaning of this interaction.

(2) やーなこった or ‘yaanakotta’ is a very childish and playful way to say ‘no’ or ‘don’t want to’ in Japanese.

(3) Literally Laito asks if that is the answer they get after he puts on airs while proudly proclaiming his words. Laito often makes these low key sarcastic or snarky comments at Ayato, so I wanted the English translation to have that same feel to it.

(4) The term 肉食 or ‘nikushoku’ may mean ‘carnivore’, in recent youth culture, it is also used as a synonym for man or woman who are very assertive when it comes to relationship and sex. Meanwhile 草食 or ‘soushoku’ is used for the exact opposite, referring to those who are hesitant to interact with the opposite sex. I don’t know if Rejet intended for it to have this hidden meaning, but I found it an interesting theory nevertheless!

(5) When Laito says ‘見ちゃった’ or ‘micchatta’ here, it can be taken two ways. Either he refers to him walking in on Ayato trying to suck Bitch-chan’s blood, or he actually finished Yui’s sentence, referring that she saw a wolf at school.

(6) While におう or ‘niou’ could mean ‘to smell’ in general, when it is written as 臭う, it refers to a bad smell.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfsakamakiprologue

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cafedanslanuit · 4 years

Text

[ k i n k t o b e r ] d a y 21 - masterlist

↪ character: todoroki shouto [boku no hero]

↪ tags/warnings: +18, female!reader, alcohol usage, stolen kisses, cheating (reader helps to cheat ig), passionate sex, slight angst

↪ a/n: the idea came to me while listening to ‘the winner takes it all’ by abba ~

Why are you here?

You finished the drink in your hand, feeling the vodka burning down your throat. You watch Todoroki greet the other guests and you want to yell at him to leave. Leave, leave, leave, fucking leave. It wasn’t enough that he had ruined your small party, now he had the audacity to appear.

Leave, leave, leave.

Go back to your fiancée.

The day had started out great. You had been promoted at the agency, and were told you would get your own sidekicks. Beaming with happiness, you agreed when Denki offered to organize a small office party, proud of your achievements. While your boss, the main hero of the agency looked for a bottle of champagne for the celebratory brindis, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom for a bit. On your way there, you checked your phone, almost dropping it when the first post that appeared on your timeline was a photo of an engagement ring on Momo’s hand.

You read her post, saying how happy she was that it was exactly a year after they had started dating. Had it already been a year? You swallowed thick and kept looking at the photo, which Todoroki had obviously liked. He probably had posted something similar. You wouldn’t know, having blocked him from your social media a while ago, when their couple photos became too much to handle.

You shouldn’t have stopped trying. It had been a fight-- a stupid fight if you had to be honest. A miscommunication that shouldn’t have happened. You waited for him to apologize and he did the same. Days became weeks, and not too long after you heard whispers about him dating a girl from his school. But it was just a rebound, right? You would find your way back together again. You were sure.

You were.

Denki found you standing in the hallway, eyes lost on your phone. He took it from you, his eyes widening when he saw Momo’s post. Knowing your past history with Todoroki, he tried to comfort you, but you just nodded and followed him back to the office, putting on your best hero smile.

And now he was at the party. Why?

You stopped counting the times you poured more straight vodka to your cup. When you saw Todoroki approaching you, you made a beeline around him and entered the small kitchen in the office. You rested your hands on the sink and took a deep breath, doing your very best to calm the dizziness on your head from walking so fast.

A few minutes later, you heard someone coming inside, so you turned around with your hero smile. The moment you saw the half red and white hair, it dropped from your face.

“I wanted to congratulate you for--”

“What are you doing here, Todoroki?” you spat. He frowned.

“I came to congratulate you--”

“No, don’t bullshit me,” you said with a dry laugh. Looking at the kitchen door, you closed it, trying to avoid any prying eyes from your coworkers. “Don’t bullshit me, why aren’t you with your girlfr-- no, my bad! Your fiancée, why don’t you go back to her?” you asked, the liquor on your head making all the hurt that had been accumulating inside your heart turn into harsh words.

Todoroki stayed in silence, eyes fixated on yours. He parted his lips but no words came out. The silence between the both of you seemed to last an eternity, only the music coming from the office filling the gap. You took another look at him, at his black shirt and dark jeans and missed him. Your body craved for his touch, not having been this close since the night he left your apartment. The night you let him go.

You weren’t aware of the tears streaming down your face until Todoroki had cupped your face with his hands and was trying to wipe them off with his thumb. Your whole body started trembling at the contact and even more tears ran down your cheeks.

“I was a fool,” you whispered. Todoroki just kept trying to dry off your cheeks. “I thought-- I thought things would fix themselves and they didn’t. And now I get I was a fool, I’m so sorry, Shouto,” you whimpered. “I’m sorry I didn’t push harder, I’m sorry I let you go because I miss you so much. Every day, every night, I miss you so much.”

Todoroki’s eyes widened a bit at your words, but remained silent again. His hands were still on your face, but he was no longer trying to stop your crying. You put your hands over his and smiled softly at how familiar it felt.

“Does she kiss like I used to kiss you?” you whispered. You laughed softly at your own words and shook your head. “Don’t-- don’t answer that. I understand how it is. I understand I was the one that let you go. So, just… just this once, Shoto, I just…”

You surprised both him and yourself by pressing your lips against his. But it felt like home, even if it wasn't supposed to be like this, even if he was already a lost cause. You pulled away, face flushed in embarrassment, but immediately felt his hand pulling you from the back of your head again. Todoroki kissed you intensely, his hand clasped around your hair. Soon enough, both your arms were around his neck and your body pressed against him, kissing him back.

A loud crash made you pull away, and by the laughs of your coworkers, it seemed someone had broken a liquor bottle. You looked back at your ex, the reality of your situation dawning on you. You wiped the trace of your lipstick from his lower lip and gave him a small smile.

"Sorry," you muttered, before turning back and leaving. This time, he was the one that let you go. Denki looked at you questioningly, his eyes darting from you to Todoroki. 'We just talked', you mouthed to him and he nodded, before taking your hand and pulling you to the dance floor.

-----

Three knocks on your apartment door were enough to wake you up. You looked at your phone and saw it was already 3 am. The party had lasted until midnight and then you had taken a cab to your place. Two glasses of water and an advil were enough to send you to sleep.

Someone knocked again and you groaned, forcing yourself to get up from your bed. Putting on a robe, you walked to your front door. You wished you hadn't the moment you saw the same half red half white hair and mesmerizing eyes looking back at you.

"... Todoroki, it's 3 am," you yawned. He stayed in silence and you rolled your eyes. "Seriously, I need to get some sleep, I am really tired."

"I came because I can't stop thinking about earlier," he confessed in a neutral tone. Your head snapped back to him, your eyes wide open and lips slightly parted.

"What d--" your sentence was cut short by Todoroki entering your apartment and kissing you on the lips. As if it were a drug, you kissed him back without restraint, not caring how loudly he shut the door behind him. In a few seconds he was carrying you, your legs hooked around his waist as the kiss continued, rough, desperately and filled with more passion than you had felt in the last year.

Your back hit the couch, and memories of laying with Todoroki after a long day of work or watching a movie together right in the same spot came to your mind. You pulled him closer, your legs still wrapped around his waist as your fingers worked to open his shirt. Todoroki got rid of it along with your robe quickly and let his hands wander underneath your pajamas. You let out a sigh when he closed his hands around your breasts. Was it delusional for you to have missed his touch this bad? You always joked that your body was made for him, but feeling his hands match exactly the size of your breasts only reinforced the idea. You took off your pajama top and threw it to the floor. Todoroki’s skin felt hot against yours, almost burning as he took a couple of seconds to look at you.

“I missed you,” you whispered. He smiled softly and kissed you softly, his lips grazing yours for the longest time, as if he wanted to make sure you were real.

“I missed you too,” he replied against your mouth. You drank the chuckle that followed and pulled him back for another kiss as you fumbled with his pants, who made their way to the floor along with the rest of your clothes.

Todoroki’s hand travelled between your legs, his fingers sliding between your wet folds. The moans coming from your mouth became louder as he pushed two fingers inside, feelings your walls tightening around him. He used his free hand to cradle your face, his eyes set on yours as you whimpered under his touch. His thumb drew circles around your clit and your moans started sounding like his name, like a soft prayer, like a welcome home.

Moments later, Todoroki was pushing his cock inside of you, and even if he had taken his time preparing you, the stretch burnt, making you remember how long it had been since the last time he made love to you. This time, you held his head between your hands, foreheads pressed together as he moved his hips against yours at a controlled pace, as if he were getting to know you all over again. You tried to match him with your hips, making him groan against your lips.

Todoroki kissed you and increased his rhythm. His lips devoured you passionately, his tongue dancing with yours as he thrusted in and out. His body knew you so well, it felt like it was claiming it back. It felt familiar, it felt safe, as if you didn’t need anything else to enjoy intimacy with you. Even if you had experimented different kinks with him the years you had been together, somehow it all went back to him. It never was the heterochromic eyes or the toned arms you tried to find in other people. It was never looking for men who were also dominant in bed or the quiet ones.

It was just Shouto. The one thing missing was always him.

It doesn’t take long for him to take you over the edge, and he follows shortly after, breath hitching against yours. Todoroki attempts to pull out, but your legs wouldn’t let him.

“Stay,” you whispered weakly and he nodded, pressing a soft kiss on your lips before resting his head on your chest.

Once his head is out of the way, you’re able to see your apartment once again. On the window in front of you, you can see the sun is going to rise any moment, yet all you think about is staying a bit longer with him. Maybe going out for breakfast to the old diner Shouto liked, and going for a stroll until--

Your eyes stop at the door, and the memory of him leaving a year ago comes back to your mind. Furrowing your eyebrows, you look back and see him lying with his eyes closed and calmed respiration. He was there. He came back. That had to mean something, right?

… It had to.

You caressed Shouto’s hair strands and he smiled softly, eyes fluttering as he looked back at you.

"Shouto…" you whispered, a knot forming on your throat. He took the hand you had on his hair and squeezed it gently.

"Hmm?"

"Shouto… you should go home."

This is my home, you yearned for him to say. I’m home, or maybe another way of him showing you how much you meant to him. How much he was willing to give up to be back in your arms for good.

You wanted desperately to know if your apartment was still a home for Shouto, if he still wanted to build something with you. Because if he did, if he really saw you as his home, then maybe you could--

Todoroki pulled out of you, ignoring the small gasp that left your lips. He stood up and quickly started dressing up, his back turned to you. You closed your eyes, but it still wasn't quick enough to not let a tear fall down your face. Even if you were quick at wiping it off, he never once looked back, not even before he disappeared behind your apartment front door.

Your ragged breath and whimpers emerged only once you thought he was far enough, covering your body with the robe that was laying next to you.

It still smelt like him.

You still smelt like him.

---

Todoroki looked at himself on the elevator mirror, trying to fix his hair the best he could, even if he didn't think he would run into anyone in the middle of the night.

'You should go home'.

Your words echoed inside his mind, as he kicked himself for not understanding it sooner. You had been clear enough for him to understand that wasn't his home anymore. It didn't matter how much you had just trembled beneath him, or the way you had looked at him with what he thought was love as he buried himself into you. He had fucked up, he had fucked up by leaving his true home more than a year ago, and now there wasn't a place for him anymore. He understood. He had to understand.

Even if it took him his entire life.

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