#i bother everyone about how autistic i am

[135-film]

i used to be like, "oh god im annoying and an asshole" to put myself down but now honestly its empowering to go Yeah im annoying and an asshole. its endearing :)

[seafleece]

i think everyone should have a moment of disillusion with a creator they really like. not because of anything really wrong they do but just. an interaction that doesn’t go the way you think it will, a response from them that you don’t understand. a moment where you want to communicate something to them and they don’t hear it. it’s good for the soul.

[mrfoox]

Me: I want to spend more time with people, I miss close contact with others :(

Also me: -only wants to spend time with 4 ppl irl, none of which live close by or have the ability to come by-

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a joke about my sex life to a student? 😏🐓 Nsfw text obv i know the title sounds bad but please read everything

I (Transmasc, 25) work on a school, very open as being gay, pride pins and it all, not as a teacher but I take care of computers, textbooks and the library. The younger folk seem to like me, but it's in high school folks things get ugly. Most just don't care about me, which I can't judge, being a teen sucks. Some hate me for telling them to go back to class. The ones that like me (mostly queer/autistic folk) like me for real.

There's this one boy (he's either 16 or 17 so he's NOT a kid) that always makes fun of me, is always skipping classes, is mean to everyone, implied a old teacher she should be better off dead, bothers everyone, talk loudly and complains about everything on his sight.

And he is. Very bigoted. I saw him more than once hurting the girls he studies with (slapping/punching) and caling the whores and more, telling them to suck him off, ride his dick, gag on his cock, etc, saying very hurtful things on gay men/anyone he deemed gay, and principal can only call his parents so many times before the parents stop showing and taking the concerns seriously. This is an ongoing issue since 6th grade, as far as I know. He hates my guts since I've called the principal on him more than once for going off on me telling me to fuck myself for asking him to go back to class.

My main strategy with him is ignoring him and the second one is answering as I don't understand him. Perks of being autistic I guess, being able to do this with a straight face. So: he calls me a chicken, I tell him they're my favorite farm animal, how did he guess? They're so amazing and cute. He tells me the lunch is gross, I say they can buy their lunch to bring if they want to, school food isn't that good (not true, the school food is amazing. Most students eat more than one plate). The computers are too slow, I ask him to please be patient cause they're old men that don't like to work, be nice to them :(. Guy says that the classes sucks, I tell him that the complaint box is at (governor's address) but yea they suck but at least he has only one year left.

This is where I might be the asshole, because I hurt myself going up and down a chair to organize some textbooks and I already have severe hip/knee pain so this only made me hurt worse so I am already pretty grumpy. A teacher asks for a banner of a periodic table and I have to find the table and go up a chair to hang it, and in the process, I let out a moan of pain becaude my knees dream of my downfall, and the teacher asks me if I am okay, so I tell yea, my hips and knees just hurt like a bitch. And this one student tells me "why, are you beaten up from taking cock in your ass?" And I breath deeply and answer "If it was from fucking I would be damn happy, but it's only from working. Anyways teacher here you go (with the periodic table)" and the teacher looks me with a surprised expression and all the class is silent and uncomfortable so I just left. Now the student can't look in my eyes but at least they're not talking to me anymore and the teacher hasn't said anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[snakeautistic]

One of the reasons I believed I couldn’t be autistic for so long was due to a fundamental misunderstanding of my social struggles. This being that I am not by any means incapable of memorizing social rules. Through observation and direction I can construct a broad framework of ‘socially acceptable or not.’ For example, I’m well aware that making physical contact with someone without consent isn’t acceptable. Or that stating blunt facts in a way that implicates someone negatively isn’t allowed. I know to avoid interrupting others if they’re already talking, to not walk away when I’m in the middle of a conversation. Crying, being unusually quiet and frowning indicates sadness. Someone smiling at laughing at what you’re saying means they probably are enjoying their time with you. An increase in speaking volume indicates excitement- either positive or negative. Sarcasm is often indicated by someone saying something absurd that you know they would never say, or you know to be factually wrong.

The fact that I had learned these broad rules made me think autism wasn’t a possibility for me. But being autistic doesn’t stop you from obtaining and applying information. (I mean that’s why so many interventions that ‘treat’ autism do result in the autistic person being able to pass as neurotypical.)

The difference comes from lacking the subconscious nuances and exceptions that come with those broader rules. For example- when is it okay to actually be honest? Some people will not be bothered by physical intimacy- but how would I know this? How can you tell if a group wants you to join in with their conversation? How to tell if this person is smiling and laughing politely or genuinely? How to tell if someone who you know very little about is being sarcastic?

There are not direct, easy to apply ‘rules’ for this, and yet clearly there are ‘right’ options. When the appropriate reaction must be determined by subtle body language or small shifts in tone of voice, ones that are near impossible to teach- I become completely lost.

That’s something I always find lacking with the general social skills advice given. It’s helpful to a point, but the truth is everyone is an individual. People express themselves differently, and react to your same actions differently due to past circumstances or temperaments. There is no one set of rules you can use for everyone, unfortunately. The majority of neurotypicals, while of course having miscommunications and the like, can rely on their subconscious to parse out any subtle changes they might need to make to their demeanor for a particular situation. My brain is much less adept at focusing down broader experience/rules into unique circumstances. (This is actually something that extends past social cues for me and I might make another post talking about it because I think it’s interesting)

Anyway rant over but yeah this was a huge mental barrier to seeking out a diagnosis for a while because at some level I ( ironically enough) took struggling to understand social cues too literally…

[homunculus-argument]

Not gatekeeping mental illness here, but I'm genuinely astonished every time I'm reminded that there really are people who had their first encounter with depression and mental illness as grown-ass adults?? Like I'm not trying to diminish their experiences, that has to be terrifying, like you've already set your life up the way you like it, you've got things in your life that you enjoy, and then it just suddenly fizzles out? Like you're used to the sun rising every morning and then one day it just doesn't rise anymore, and it's still dark at 10 am for three months straight and you don't understand why, you've never seen that before, and nobody knows what you're talking about, because they've never seen that either and they're still not seeing it now? Yeah no shit that sounds awful.

Nonetheless I still get that "damn y'all live like this?" every time I hear someone share their First Adult Depression Experiences. Like damn, you weren't seven years old telling your mother that you would rather want to die than have to go to school, and have her go "everyone does, sweetie. I don't want to go to work either! :) Life just is like that, that's why christians talk about heaven, they daydream that things will be better once you're dead and don't have to go to work anymore" and you're like "oh ok so we're just supposed to live like this" and keep walking through ankle-deep snow slush.

My parents thought I was autistic because I didn't bother to complain to them about things causing physical pain. One time they didn't notice for months that my shoes were bad before mom noticed all my socks have blood stains on the heels. It hadn't occurred to me that I could verbally communicate that something is hurting me, and receive help as a direct consequence. How was I supposed to know when life is and isn't supposed to hurt?

[autisticsupervillain]

Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread

The Eye

Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher

You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING

"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"

I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.

"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."

I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.

The Web

I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.

I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.

If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.

I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.

"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood

The Stranger

I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.

If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.

Theater Kid

How do you Normal Human?

The Anatomy Class.

Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.

Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.

Being subtly off is too subtle for me.

The Lonely

"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."

Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.

Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.

Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.

The fog is your friend.

The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.

The Dark

Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.

Night Owl.

Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.

Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.

The dawn is your enemy.

The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.

Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.

The Spiral

Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.

Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?

Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.

Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?

I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.

I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.

Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.

What Is Time?

What Is Me?

The Gender

Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?

The Flesh

Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.

Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.

Will never try any other foods. Too picky.

Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.

Hates PETA.

Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?

Working out is a great stim.

The Corruption

Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.

"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"

Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.

According to all known laws of aviation-

Relationship boundaries struggles.

Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.

Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*

Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.

Forgot vital hygiene needs.

The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!

The Buried

Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.

Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.

101 facts about worms.

Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.

Digging a hole is good stimming.

That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?

The End

Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com

That's it, that's the list.

The Desolation

The Autism Temper.

Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.

The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.

Just watching candles melt for hours.

The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.

Jude Perry.png

The Vast

Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.

The stimulus of falling.

Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.

Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.

Weirdly enough... power scaling?

Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.

Brain empty, only terminal velocity.

The Hunt

Cat Autism

The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.

Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.

I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.

Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.

That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.

It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.

The Slaughter

The incredible human WW1 documentary.

"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*

Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.

The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)

The Extinction

The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.

It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.

You Will Make Them Care.

[suchawrathfullamb]

things that are irrelevant and stupid but get on my nerves because I'm mentally ill and too invested in this show and need to be told in a kourtney kardashian voice that "people are dying, lamb":

people on tiktok going on and on about "lolol how did Will payed for Hannibal's therapy?? there's no way he could afford that lolol" WILL HAS MONEY WILL IS NOT POOR. He grew up poor but excuse me you??? he is not only a professor in the fbi academy but also a special fucking agent who solves crimes like no other. also he DID HE PAYED FOR THE FUCKING SESSIONS HANNINAL LITERALLY SAYS THAT ON THE SHOW did you not fucking watch it?

"hannibal is sooo mean he would judge me for being poor" are u insane that man is extremely polite? he would never judge someone for shit like that, what show did you even watch? Will would probably judge you a lot more than Hannibal, he literally hates everyone and doesn't hide it.

"Will would've been such a great dad to Abigail" my god stop projecting your desire to be Will's lolita type daughter unto something that has nothing to do with that. Will was a terrible father/caregiver to her as well as Molly's kid. ARE U WATCHING THE SHOW OR JUST READING HEADCANONS??

"Will is so smol bean he is a picky eater and he hates the big light and and" MY GOD we get it, you're autistic and you wanna force Will to be just like you, but that's not canon, you wanna headcanon about it? great go ahead but don't act like this isn't a personal delusion of yours. Yes obviously they are both on the spectrum but no, Will does not have any of these traits, you're basically describing Hannibal like why ignore that and just project unto a character that has a completely different type of autistic trait??

"Hannibal isn't tender, you were brainwashed by him" are u fucking dumb this is literally the opposite. YOU were brainwashed by him if you think he's a big scary monster with no feelings boo 👻 . have media literacy. his character is literally all about creating a mask that protects him from his tenderness. y'all are the same people who think Will is a smol bean.

don't get worked up in the comments and reposts, I am self aware and literally wrote in the goddamn post that I know this is stupid and irrelevant and who cares bc it's just a tv show and blablabla so don't bother, I'm aware, I just don't care and wanted to whine

[plusvanity]

Yesterday, I wanted to say that people who blocked me did the wiser thing, but today, I want to touch on a recent issue, a hugely (intentionally) misinterpreted and degrading problem.

The controversies that people started to spread about me literally make me sick to the stomach.

They don't give a fuck about my countless explanations of how this ship is my comfort ship, designed to help me heal from severe abuse, self hatred, body dysmorphia, depression and anxiety.

I try to switch from unhealthy coping mechanisms to something that is both productive, helpful and most of all, harmless (because it's imaginary).

They felt the need to turn something that I created as my own personal fictive escape into a gross sadomasochistic, abusive and extremely toxic 'excuse' for 'why is this ship and not that?'. My guts twist for seeing such cruel assumptions when I have one thing that makes me happy (a story, a healthy narrative) viciously turned into a gruesome scenario that is not what it is at all.

The fact that they accuse me of shipping fair-skinned, blonde people is also the biggest hypocrisy that they could come up with when they themselves forget that Øystein's natural hair is blond and his eyes are blue in their own double-standard ship.

The fact that accuse me of romanticizing self-harm while they themselves 'like' (I have proofs) and approve art of EuroDead self-destructive romanticism shows their duplicitous and impostor nature. This is not to be taken as an insult, but an obvious fact concluded by their behavior.

My ship has little to do with physical looks and everything else to do with the in-depth psychology. It's not me, PlusVanity who says that there's a gigantic overlap between highly-autistic traits and trauma response (in personality disorders), it's Freud, Jung, Lacan's teachings and many other's scholars, neurologists and psychiatrists came to this conclusion many many years before you and I were even born. If you, dearly-opinionated friend, think that you can prove to these honorable psychoanalytical figures (and me, of course) otherwise with credible and well-documented research and not your 'I don't like that just because' synthetic opinion, I will gladly listen to what you have to bring up. I am well-versed in the philosophical and psychological domain, and I can provide solid arguments to everything I claim.

It's more than just unfair to point the finger at me, accusing me of a ludicrous sadomasochistic and 'subliminal racial element' in my art just to satisfy your late frustration with an ' good-enough explanation' for something that you never even bothered to look into because otherwise you would know that you are wrong. I'm not spiteful, I'm just pointing your flaws in logic as straightforwardly and inconsiderable as you seem to point mine, but it's not like you will actually try to understand what I'm saying because this must imply 'admitting defeat' and a kick in the ego, so you don't even bother with my transparent explanations. That's alright.

This message is for the people who are open and mature enough to read the motive behind my art and writing. This monologue is not for the ones who blindly accuse me of horrible things or a hidden agenda that I don't have or try to promote.

If you think that you know better than me, you simply don't. Why might that be? Because I am the author, because you don't think with my brain and you have no access to what I stand for, other than my words and actions and neither my words or actions stood for any type of abuse or political extremism.

You also put words into my mouth by calling me a fan of Varg, when I'm most certainly not, but I mean you hate me, of course you will say such things. Everyone who's following me knows that I not only hate Varg, but mock him daily for his spiteful persona.

I do not engage in any drama, I am not here to fight anyone.

I will only have civilized conversations (if openness exists). I am here to be and share with my friends the one thing that makes me happy. To subjugate me for simply having a different view than yours is tyranny and black and white extremism.

Pairing real people is morally bad, but this includes all real people. Not just Varg and Pelle, but Øystein and Pelle too. Doesn't sound fair now, does it? I understand why.

Anyone is free to believe anything, but a conspiratorial opinion will never compare to the ultimate truth that only the author can provide.

Please block me if you wish for. This is a far more mature approach than lurking here or sending hate. I hope this is constructive.

To sum it up, I'm beyond hate and ingoing frustration. I will gladly wish my late-proclaimed haters a wonderful day even if they roll their eyes. 🖤

You cannot change options, you can only provide your insight.

Be kind, be open, be alright 🖤

I wish this post can be shared so a lot of people can read this 🙏

[graveyard-stray]

JUST SAW THE "Wanting to write x Autistic!Reader" POST AND IMMEDIATELY CAME HERE TO SUGGEST! How about Cillian x Autistic!Actress!Reader??? Let's say the reader was doing silly little things when the director gave them a break after filming a long scene? Rest of it can be your choice since i don't know much about autism! 😭

I FUCKING LOVE THIS IDEA AS SOMEONE WHO LOVES CILLIAN, WANTS TO BE AN ACTOR, AND IS AUTISTIC. COMING RIGHT UP.

That’s a Wrap! | Cillian Murphy x Autistic!Actress!Reader

Wc: 1k

Summary: after a long day of filming your overstimulated and tired and just need to unwind, thankfully your boyfriend Cillian is there to help you out

Includes: Pure tooth rotting fluff, happy & overwhelmed stimming, Overstimulation (not in a sexual way.), generally common autism symptoms

Disclaimer: I’ve written this based on my personal experiences with autism, everyone experiences it differently though so I apologize if this doesn’t fully relate to how it affects you. (+ Not proofread)

“That’s a wrap for today!” Yelled the director as the cameras cut. “Go home, get some rest and make sure those of you on schedule for tomorrow are here on time!” he reminded before beginning to help pack up some of the equipment.

A grateful sigh left your lips as the shooting for the day finally ended. It was late and today’s schedule had been crazy, shooting since 9 AM and going almost non stop till 11 PM.

You wasted no time rushing off set and towards your trailer, leaving your boyfriend and cast mate Cillian behind. This didn’t bother him though, he knew your day was long and you didn’t think you needed to wait for him, there was no logical reason for you too since you had stuff to get done without him.

So, Cillian took his time getting back to his trailer and changed out of his costume. Meanwhile you did the same. You arrived at your trailer and immediately washed off all the makeup on your face, the feeling of it caked on made you feel so dirty and you had to scrub like crazy to feel clean, even past the point where visually it was all gone.

You relished the feeling of being able to peel off your costume, this one being not a great one as the fabric left your neck a bit itchy and it was tight around your arms. The costume made its way onto a hanger and was swiftly hung on a wrack for the costume people to come grab later.

Once you were in comfy clothes and felt clean you just stood in the middle of your trailer for a moment, your hands softly opening and closing into fists as you tried to get out all your stress and unwind. Your senses had just been extra off the wall today, all the noises on set bothering you more than usual and then the costume and makeup and your stupid hairdo for the scene you did earlier. It all just had you so frustrated.

A frown crept onto your face as you realized that in your frustration you stomped off right as the scene ended and didn’t wait for Cillian. You have honestly completely forgot about him, outta sight outta mind really.

As if on cue there was a soft knock at the door to your trailer. Your eyes lit up and you rushed over to open the door. There standing on the steps was Cillian, in his comfortable clothes and a cozy jacket to protect him from the cold. In his hands you noticed what he had brought, your headphones! You had left them in his trailer before shooting started.

Your hands reached forward and immediately grabbed the headphones from him. “My headphones! I was wondering where they went!” You exclaimed.

Cillian just smiled and stepped inside the trailer, closing the door behind him and hanging his jacket up on a hook by the door. He put a hand on your shoulder and kissed the top of your head, “I saw you left them on my counter and figured you’d be needing them.” he said softly, knowing you probably didn’t want to hear anything too loud anymore. You smiled and nodded quickly. “Oh and Hi love! Sorry I just got so excited about you bringing me my stuff” you giggled before wrapping your arms around him in a sweet hug.

He wrapped his arms around you aswell, squeezing you tightly for a moment as he knew you liked, the pressure on your body calming you down. You immediately relaxed in his embrace and let him hold you there for a moment.

You pulled away from the hug after a bit, looking at him and grinning, “I’m gonna go lay down.” You said before pulling away and grabbing your favorite blanket off the trailer couch. Cillian ruffled your hair as you moved away from him, “how about I join you love?” he suggested, wanting to make sure you knew that he understood if you wanted alone time.

“Yes please! That would be nice!” You beamed, “oh can we cuddle, please!” you asked sweetly. He nodded “of course sweetheart, anything for you.” he agreed.

Your smile grew impossibly wider and your hands shook quickly to express your happiness and excitement. No matter how long you dated you always loved getting to cuddle with him and just seeing how much he loved you. He was so sweet and you weren’t super used to it even after a year.

Cillian followed you as you quickly shuffled into the small bedroom in your trailer and you flopped down dramatically onto the bed, causing Cillian to chuckle softly. “You’re so cute honey.” He mused, his tone dripping with affection.

This compliment always made you flustered, your face being impossibly red and your smile growing impossibly wide, as it always did when he flustered you or just made you so so happy. You couldn’t control his affect on you.

He climbed into the bed beside you and held his arms open. You got your stuff and snuggled close to him, your head on his chest and arms curled up by yourself. He pulled the blanket he knew you loved up so it covered you fully, keeping you nice and warm and he watched you grab it slightly and snuggle closer, if that was even possible.

you yawned once more as you finally got to really relax for the first time all day. “Thank you Cill.” You mumbled with a soft smile on your lips. He put a hand on your head and pet your hair softly. “Of course sweetheart, I love you.”

you nodded, “yeah. Or hah sorry I mean, I love you too.” you chuckled softly at yourself. Sometimes just forgetting you were supposed to also express verbally your feelings for him.

But even if you didn’t say it, he knew you loved him just as much as he loved you.

It didn’t take long for your eyes to flutter shut and you to doze off snuggled up to him, his embrace on you tight and protective just like always- and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[katy-l-wood]

"Everyone" is self-diagnosing on the spectrum, please get tested or don't claim to be on the spectrum. Personally, everyone I know who has self-diagnosed and then been tested has failed the tests and been like "I guess I just had anxiety and stuff".

Basically, dunning kruger syndrome. People who think "Oh, I'm weird, and awkward, and have social anxiety, I must be autistic or on the spectrum."

No, you likely just coincidentally have those traits.

Medical testing will tell you if you have those traits in such a degree that it effects your entire life to the level of autism.

Most people do NOT meet this criteria, and they're just trying to join a group of people and fit in. That's fine, but it's also insulting to those who struggled beyond their understanding.

There's a difference between struggling in school and suffering with everything in school and having an absolute nightmare of which the only emotional response at that age is to cry every night and wish you were dead.

The difference between being socially weird and being so different that there's a target on your back and even the most mild of kids turns into a bully around you because it's so easy.

To need decades of therapy just from how people have treated you, THAT is closer to autism than "I have adhd and I like cats."

I am not saying that is the only kind of autism or only experience, I am using it as an example. There are, of course, those who went under the radar and absolutely have autism in adulthood. But to be aware of the massive and documented problem of self-diagnosis and over-diagnosing autism, is not to gatekeep it.

I'm assuming this is because of my post about my character Conifer?

Look. How about you don't assume shit about when:

A) You don't fucking know me or anything about my life.

And B) That post is about a CHARACTER. A character you also know nothing about because the book isn't even out yet.

The rest of this I'm not going to bother to address. My personal business is not yours. If you disagree with my stance on self-diagnosis (which, for the record, is 100% in favor), the unfollow and block buttons are right there.

I'm sorry you went through such a horrible experience with being autistic. That truly, truly sucks. But you do not get to lash out at strangers on the internet just because their experiences don't perfectly mesh with yours.

[batwynn]

Some examples of stims I did while growing up until I was forced to stop each one by an adult in my life:

Humming/whistling

Copying bird whistles

Chewing on my hair

Chewing on pens/pen caps/pencils/etc.

Matching a sound from around me

Repeating words/phrases frequently

Making ‘weird’ sounds with my mouth

Tapping something/tapping a finger or foot

Singing what I was doing

Blinking in patterns

Constant doodling

And undoubtably more that I don’t even remember.

The result of being forced to stop stimming no matter what stim I tried:

Constantly anxious. Constantly.

I started picking at my skin and pulling out my hair.

More outbursts and/or more shut downs.

I formed a stutter under even the smallest amount of stress.

I became less social. Didn’t talk as much. Didn’t feel comfortable communicating to anyone.

I was markedly less happy.

Restless and unable to focus because stimming helped me work with my ADHD side as well.

Confusion, hurt, and isolation because I was then aware that I was ‘weird’.

I formed a huge distrust of adults around me, including family. Which lead to me getting in trouble for not ‘respecting authority’. (Aka: I asked questions and didn’t take what everyone said as a fact.)

I developed depression.

Oh, and I was still bullied for being ‘weird’ so stopping stimming didn’t even help that. Surprise!

Eventual outcome as an autistic adult:

Constant anxiety that I often can’t source and don’t know how to sooth anymore.

No self soothing techniques work or feel ‘natural’ anymore.

I lean heavily on disassociation to get through the day and/or during stressful moments.

I’m accused of faking it, lying, etc. by people because I learned to mask my autistic traits as best as possible.

Frequently don’t have the language for when I’m overwhelmed, and frequently misunderstood when I try to explain that something is bothering me like fabric texture or sounds.

Treated like I’m incompetent, a child, or a collection of both if I don’t behave ‘perfectly’.

Talked down to a lot.

Still picking at my skin and pulling out my hair. 🥲

Constantly feel like I’m lying about who I am/ frequent identity crisis and impostor syndrome mix up.

Trouble with relationships/friendships to different extremes. (Ex: I was groomed as a kid/teen and didn’t know until I was in my late 20s. Have trouble keeping friendships because I just don’t know how to interact with people the ‘right way’.)

I had to teach myself a lot of ‘regular’ social cues and behaviors by mimicking people around me. That unfortunately doesn’t alway work, and/or comes with accidentally mimicking a personality trait/quark/etc. which leads to people thinking your mocking them or copying them.

A lot of rage for the people who treated me like shit my entire life for being autistic.

Moments of feeling very small and childish when things are out of my control.

Feeling guilty/uncomfortable about some things I like because they’re considered childish. (Ex: stuffed animals.)

Fear of any and all interactions with strangers. Fear of not being able to predict where the conversation will go. Fear of extreme negative reactions even when it doesn’t seem realistic for that to happen.

And more that are so ingrained in my life that I don’t even recognize them anymore.

I can’t not think about how my life could have turned out if those adults had let me be comfortably autistic. I can literally see physical differences in old photos of me, where I just stopped being me. Where the happiness and honesty were bullied out of me. And were my stims and behaviors that bothersome? No, actually. I had already learned to do different stims in different environments so I wasn’t being noisy when I needed to be quiet etc. But that wasn’t good enough, so every stim and every ‘weird’ behavior had to stop. Why? Because these adults had a power over me and other children like me, and they liked to abuse it.

It’s abuse. The end.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not swapping chores back.

I live with friends. We are on a schedule for all house chores. I am having a problem with one of my friends/roommates : Ethan.

Ethan used to clean stuff right after me. It drived me nuts. I don't particularly like cleaning but it's part of adulting so I do it quick and well. I have lived both alone and with other people and never had issues with the way I clean things. Ethan himself tell me it's nothing personal. It's just "the way he is", he just needs things to be done his way. He does it Whenever anyone clean something. It's not a me thing.

Other roommates were not overly bothered by Ethan cleaning just after them. "He is free to pointlessly clean if he wants, I have better things to do than be bothered about it"

Ethan and me decided to exchange tasks. He got my cleaning tasks and I took his cooking turns.

About cooking. Everyone one of us has food preference or restriction. We try to accommodate everyone.

I eat everything BUT one of the thing I asked was to eat a different homecooked meal everyday. (We are a Lot of roommates so it's really feasible for us to only cook once a week or less) I am OK with leftovers and alternate leftover foods for some days. I just want to not eat the Same Meal Everyday. I had a difficult depressive episode while I couldn't cook and just ate the exact same thing for 6 months, and now, eating bland rice twice makes me sad.

Ethan is Difficult with food. He hates a lot of common ingredients and favors the most bland flavors. He is the pickiest eater. He asked us to always cook him bland pasta (or Rice) for every meal. He will eat the same things as us all, then takes two servings of pasta. Whatever you might cook will never be as good for him than pasta and butter. It's OK, I got to live with it.

Ethan is a terrible cook. He hard boil and overcook everything. No seasoning except salt.

I am a very good cook. I spend hours cooking. It's the way I express love. Homemade lasagna, ramen, boeuf bourgignon, … Because I don't have to cook everyday, I love overdoing it on the days I am cooking. Even making complicated deserts. I also often prepare two or three versions of the same dish to accommodate the tastes of everyone (no cheese for Ethan, less spice for Jeanne and Ethan, no Pepper for Alix and Ethan, no gluten for…)

I love all of my roommates cooking. I am grateful when I don't have to cook and always compliment my friends and thanks them for cooking even if they cook more everyday food than I do. I always say : The one doing the thing is the one who is doing it the best.

I don't hate Ethan cooking. It's just terribly bland. You can't really hate boring. It's just meh.

But we swapped.

I thought everyone was happy.

But yesterday, we talked about a new roommate joining our home. He is Ethan's best friend. Everyone was happy and asking question to Ethan about his bff and how cohabiting with him will be.

Me : Does he cook ? Ethan : Well, we never died of hunger for all the years we lived together Me : That's not what I asked, though. Ethan : Yes he cooks, but I don't know if he will be up to your impossible standards. Me : I appear yo have impossible standards only from your place. You are the one with a 5 y.o palate !

Now Ethan is acting all upset saying I insulted him. That he always felt so much pressure cooking for me and that I am a upthight princess and I didn't have to insult him. That me specifically (I am autistic), should know how it is (he is not diagnosed with anything but there is hints here and there).

He says that I have to swap back our tasks to demonstrate I like his cooking. I asked if he will stop cleaning after me then. He said he can't promise, so I said no. I don't want to. I hate him cleaning after me more than I dislike eating bland food once in a while but he is acting all offended and insecure. Our other roommates also doesn't want to force the change as they prefer my cooking. Ethan says obviously I am the one that cook the best of all of us but it's not the point. He wants me to prove I don't have impossible standards by eating his cooking Again.

AITA for insulting my friend and telling him he has a child's palate. While it's not very nice, I think it's rather true. And AITA for not swapping our tasks ? If I am the A, I will agree to swap. I will present my excuses anyway because I don't like seeing my friend buthurt.

What are these acronyms?

[actual-changeling]

Maybe I am alone in this, but something about the insistence that Maggie is too "weird" to be real just rubs me the wrong way. This is not about whether or not those theories are true, not at all, everyone is free to have their own interpretation.

What bothers me is taking certain behaviour patterns or characteristics, like her talking very stilted or answering questions weirdly or having unexplained mood swings, and saying that no 'normal person' is like that/something must be up.

99% of the time, the examples given are pretty much a checklist for autism or other (neurodevelopmental) disorders.

I have mood swings like Maggie. I'm awkward like she is most of the time. I too often answer questions in a way that seems 'off' or doesn't seem to answer what you asked at all. I am visibly weird and disabled, and not just in a "stims and covers their ears sometimes" way, and people do the exact same thing to me that some here do to Maggie.

This is the exact problem that so many 'body language' books or videos have: Most of the signs that someone is e.g. lying are literally just autistic traits or symptoms of adhd or cptsd.

Hopefully this post makes sense but my bottom line here is that I am asking people to please be mindful of how they're talking about characteristics and behaviours they see as "weird", because it is such a slippery slope and you might end up being unintentionally ableist.

[desceros]

Y'kno. Leo could have taken that little secret to the grave. Woulda sucked to live with it and he'd have deserved some inner turmoil for treating some random chick like dirt. Yet V was naive, trusting and loving enough to let it go if he'd never had brought it up.

But no, he had to clear his guilt. Unburden himself. Dump that shit on her.

And fuck, he's so used to her giving he was probably half-expecting forgiveness for it.

Gotamn, V can't catch a break. One one hand you got a guy you thought you were BFFs with who

a) hated you

b) used you as an emotional crutch for his whole family

and

c) couldn't even shut up about it to spare you the extra heartbreak after literally EVERYTHING ELSE.

And another guy who you thought was as into you as you were into him because he apparently can't communicate about feelings since he's shut himself out from that part of life and you gotta use hyperspecific, robotic wording to not get your heart broken again like you're signing a contract with some fucked up version of the fae.

None of them are putting in the work to mend any of their personal shit and you're the giving type that gets easily taken advantage of, even unintentionally.

Honestly, neither of them are shitting rainbows to be worth all the effort you gotta put in their asses for any semblance of a functional friendship/situationship.

Also

"You weren't part of the family."

U kno what, he can keep it. They're the only people who'll be able to stand him at this rate.

so i addressed the first part of this in another ask re: ableism here but i'll briefly summarize things here.

leo didn't tell viola-chan what was bothering him because he wanted to "clear his guilt" or "unburden himself. dump that shit on her." he told her because she has made it repeatedly clear that she values honesty. i imagine he would have never told her... but keeping a secret felt like a betrayal. so when she asked, he told her. even though he knew it would hurt and change everything.

With a sigh, you fold your arms, then look at him. “What does this have to do with what you wanted to talk about, anyway?” “Everything,” Leo says, looking at you with a heavy stare. “Because… I have a confession to make. One that’s… that’s going to change how we are. One I really don’t want to make, but it’s—it’s eating me alive. And I don’t think I can continue being friends without telling you.”

that said. i'm not defending his actions. this is abominable behavior. but it's not selfish. not this time.

as for donnie. i'm going to take some righteous issue with how you're saying this. i've spoken before about ableism that's cropping up around this fic, but so far it's been pretty. hm. things i can brush off. but this, i feel, really crosses a line for me.

your framing of an autistic person needing someone to "use hyperspecific, robotic wording to not get your heart broken again like you're signing a contract with some fucked up version of the fae" is ringing quite poorly in my ears.

as an autistic person myself who has specifically made requests to my own loved ones that this is the exact kind of language i need to have smooth relationships, i don't appreciate your wording.

in symphony, donnie doesn't use the label 'autistic'. but he is. and he doesn't come up to you and say 'hey can i please have his kind of language used with me.' because he hasn't had to do that before. everyone around him has had his entire life to adapt to his needs. but viola-chan hasn't, hence why they have friction and misunderstandings. a large part of this story is the two of them learning to communicate. and part of that, i am sorry to tell you, is that autistic people often need language that can come across as "robotic" and "hyperspecific". so i'm going to ask you to deal with it, or perhaps look for a different fic. i'm not going to change that interpretation of things, because it comes from my own experiences as an autistic person.

lastly, you say "none of them are putting in the work to mend any of their personal shit" and that just?? isn't true??? this is literally just poor reading comprehension. an inability to look past the limited point of view of the protagonist. the entire first arc of this fic (ch. 1-11) is donnie stretching out of his comfort zone to tackle this serious problem he has. the second arc (12-20) is him pushing past things he's never done before so he can heal and touch his brothers again. leo comes to you and tells you about his issues with his sleep, where they come from, and lets you help him. not to mention mikey and raph, whom i assume you're leaving out of this ask since you haven't mentioned them. draxum even mentions, specifically, that viola-chan's presence is making them change. and the way he says it is very specific.

“Blue has been much more lively since you came around, and Donatello is much less crabby. Michael was also telling me you gave him some good exercises for his wrist. I was impressed. I’ve been meaning to ask you to work with Red as well on his trauma response since you seem to have a knack for it.”

work with. not on. i know i'm subtle, but come on.

anyway. this got quite long, but i'm not going to put it under a cut because i want these things to be open and visible. i've had a couple people say some somewhat similar things about donnie's part in this and i'm. getting kind of tired of it lmao. but thank you for reading, and i do appreciate you taking the time to send in your thoughts!!

[rorah]

Yallo!

A bit random, but do you ever think about how potentially tragic of a character Byleth is, and how it's all dependent on if they get to forge bonds and a new path in life as a professor as we can see from both games?

They get to stray away from the mercenary lifestyle, albeit it was forced at first, and the label that was forcibly placed on them(Ashen Demon) that caused them to be negatively perceived for most of their life. Nobody besides Jeralt, their father, bothered to understand them, because their lack of emoting well would just scare people and make them think they're some emotionless husk. No friends, no support system, just the sword and Jeralt.

Like it's really telling how their first dialogue option in 3Houses is "I'm a demon" factored in with Byleth being surprised in Hopes that people weren't treating them as less when recruited.

Honestly I'd argue Byleth is rather complex in a behavioral sense.

Ah, sorry for the little ramble. As you can see, I am obsessed with this autist.

OOh hello! Not random at all. And if it's random you're coming to the right place because I love randomness 🙌 Thinking about Byleth makes me SOOOOOOOFFFFFTTTTTTT 😭 ngl, they have become one of my favorite characters in the process of trying to figure out their character throughout the several gameplays. And Hopes made it a punch in the guts 💔 but also give us voiced Byleth YAY. Yes, I think about the potential tragic of their character, their past and specially in Hopes that wrecks my heart and makes me cry like a baby in some random dark corner of my room. That notion of their first dialogue with Shez when recruited about everyone in the camp being nice breaks my heart a bit because it implies that even when working for the opposite faction you choose, they didn't get to interact any of the other characters we know. Not Jeralth fault by actively isolating them since he tells them to "try to fit in" when finally joining our ranks and yet, if they're with the "enemy", their mercenary group is still isolated from the main army and don't get to interact much. And if they do, is just the random average soldier who gets freaked out by their unnerving-ness as it's been implied. Byleth haven't grown and developed like they did in houses, so they still struggle.

You're so right about their complexity of their behavior. In my way to discover the Byleth, I found myself relating to them A LOT. But also had to be careful to not "project" too much into them. I like to look at the game's options and considering part of something Byleth would say either way (because there's really not many options to pick, most of them go around the same), character reactions to them, hopes, and also heroes' dialogues. I think Byleth is a beautiful character that deserve more credit and more focus It'd be great for the Autism representation and bring hope to the autists out here lol