#i broke my mind down to pieces in order to figure it out

[emotionaldisaster909]

oh my god I figured out how to draw without having a mental breakdown oh my god oh my god-

[laneywrld]

futile devices | Lewis Hamilton

request: you have a real talent for angst hehe. can i request one with lewis where he broke up with reader bcs he said he needed a break. but then not long after he was out with other women. the breakup broke reader she turned into a whole diff person. and she was like "i dont think any of that was real" when she talked abt her past with lewis? please tear my heart apart into pieces, im begging you

word count: 2.4k

warnings: ANGSTTT, dissociation, therapy, religious talks.

listen while you read for the full experience:

apple music, spotify

You read something once, it goes, did god create humans because he was lonely or humans God because they were lonely?

Now, you were never strongly religious, enough to go to church three times a week or remember to pray before each meal or bedtime, a part of you wants to believe that there is a God. A flicker of you does feel like, hey, there has to be someone out there pushing my hand like this, there has to be a reason for this.

And that's human nature, needing a reason.

When you don't have a reasonable explanation for things, your mind searches for that reasoning. History shows, that when man knows nothing man creates, look at mythology for an example.

In ancient cultures, the world was filled with mysteries—natural events, life and death, the changing seasons—that seemed inexplicable without invoking a higher power or supernatural beings.

So, what did humans do?

They have created gods and mythical figures to explain phenomena they didn't understand.

In a way it's a beautiful thing, what that has done is infuse our real world with a sense of order and meaning in a world that could often seem chaotic and purposeless.

That is what life is without reasoning, a big fucking question.

Humanity sought not only to explain the world around them but also to find their place within it, weaving their existence into the larger tapestry of the cosmos.

We have an enduring need to seek meaning in the face of the unfathomable, to transform the mysterious into the comprehensible, and to infuse our world with a sense of purpose and coherence.

The point is this, maybe you were blind to it all, maybe your brain forced you to believe it. Forced you to see things as they weren't.

Lewis Hamilton never loved you, he never even cared. You can see that now.

The point is this: maybe you were blind to it all, maybe your brain forced you to believe it, to see things as they weren't. For the longest time, you believed Lewis Hamilton loved you. His charming smile, the way he looked at you, the tender moments you shared—they all seemed so real, so genuine.

But in the end, it was all a façade.

It started to unravel one evening when Lewis sat you down, a serious look on his face. "I need a break," he said, his voice devoid of the warmth you were used to. "I need to find myself."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. You wanted to understand, to support him in his quest for self-discovery. But as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, the truth began to surface. The only thing Lewis found was himself under different women.

The news and rumors reached you like whispers in the wind, each one a dagger to your heart.

It boggled you, it really did. How could someone who seemed so loving, so dedicated, turn out to be so deceitful? You replayed your memories, searching for signs, for clues you might have missed. Maybe you were blind to it all, or maybe you wanted so desperately to believe in his love that you ignored the red flags.

There were moments that stood out now, in harsh clarity. The late nights he claimed were for training, the mysterious phone calls he brushed off, the growing distance in his eyes. You had chalked it up to stress, to the demands of his career. But now, it all made sense. It was never about finding himself; it was about finding excuses.

The realization hurt more than you could have imagined. You felt betrayed, not just by Lewis, but by your own heart for leading you astray. The love you thought was real had been a carefully constructed illusion, and you were left to pick up the pieces of your shattered trust.

Did god create humans because he was lonely or humans God because they were lonely?

You were lonely, and you filled that void with Lewis, even if it wasn't real, you allowed him to fill every crevice of your life with a warmth and excitement you had previously been lacking.

It became clear that it's a bad religion to love someone who could never love you back. Loving Lewis had been like worshiping a false god, investing your heart and soul into something that could never reciprocate your devotion.

You didn't know who you were without Lewis.

And that was the problem, yeah you realize now that true love, the kind that is worth believing in, is mutual and nurturing, not one-sided and destructive.

But he's fucking ruined you to the point of no return.

You always thought that those people who let their lives be flipped upside down over a breakup were dramatic. You used to believe that heartbreak was something you could just push through, that it was a part of life everyone had to endure and move past. Yet now, you understood fully. It's crazy how losing someone—or rather, being left by someone you thought loved you—could indeed flip your own life upside down and launch you back further than you knew you could go.

There was no point of return. The realization that Lewis never truly loved you was a blow that shattered your world. The man who once filled your days with laughter and your nights with tender whispers had left you with a void so profound it felt like you were lost in an endless abyss.

Lewis made you lack a belief in everything.

The trust you once held sacred, the love you thought was mutual, the future you had envisioned together—everything now seemed like a cruel illusion. His departure didn't just break your heart; it broke your spirit. You found yourself doubting your worth, your judgment, your ability to ever truly know someone.

You didn't know what was real or fake.

Nights were the hardest. Alone in the quiet of your room, memories would flood your mind—the way he used to hold you, the promises he made, the plans you both had. The betrayal felt like an echoing void, reminding you of the deception hidden behind charming smiles. You felt untethered, adrift in a sea of emotions with no solid ground in sight.

You began to see the world through a lens of skepticism. Where once you saw possibilities and hope, now you saw uncertainty and doubt. Lewis’ betrayal had sown seeds of mistrust in your heart, making it difficult to believe in anything or anyone. The optimism that once colored your outlook on life had been replaced by a grim resignation.

You didn't even know if you believed in God anymore, or purpose, or happiness. Lewis had taken every ounce of reasoning from you. Your brain couldn't decipher what was real or fake.

Was it real or was it fake?

Did Lewis love you or was this a sick game?

Did he love you or were you just lonely?

You didn't know what was real or fake, and it made you feel so fucking crazy.

The questions haunted you, relentlessly looping through your mind.

You replayed your relationship over and over, scrutinizing every moment, every gesture. What was real? What was fake? The uncertainty gnawed at your sanity, eroding the foundation of your life.

The world around you seemed distorted as if reality itself had become an unreliable narrator in the story of your life.

Your faith, which had once been a source of comfort and strength, now felt fragile and distant. You questioned everything you had once held dear, everything that had given your life meaning. Was there a higher power? A divine purpose? The betrayal had not only broken your heart but also shaken the very core of your beliefs.

Purpose felt like a cruel joke. The plans you had made, the dreams you had shared with Lewis, all seemed meaningless now. Happiness, once a tangible goal, now felt like an elusive mirage, always just out of reach. The void left by Lewis's departure was filled with a consuming darkness that threatened to swallow you whole.

You tried to find solace in the familiar, in the routine, but nothing felt the same. Your friends and family offered words of comfort, but their reassurances felt hollow, unable to penetrate the depths of your despair. You were trapped in a maze of confusion and pain, each turn leading you further into the unknown.

There were moments when you questioned your sanity. The line between reality and illusion had become so blurred that you wondered if you were losing your mind. You felt disconnected from yourself, from the person you used to be as if you were living in a surreal nightmare from which there was no escape.

You felt mindless, maybe he had taken your mind with him.

It felt as if your head could collapse at any given moment.

Your family wanted you to try therapy; you weren't yourself. Maybe, aside from taking your mind, Lewis also took the person you were with him. Therapy was hard, and though you've had session after session, you feel the same. Where was the progress everyone promised? Your therapist's voice drones on and on, and you feel like you're watching her from the hollowness like you've taken a backseat to your own life. Every single day felt like you were watching your life from another person's gaze, or like you were sitting inside your brain watching from your eyes, except it wasn't you.

Your therapist is still talking. Nothing she says helps; you want her to shut up as she spews the importance of finding yourself again. You want to scream at her as she preaches about purpose, but when you zero in, you're still quiet, eyes dead and hands folded. You're screaming inside your head, but she keeps talking.

You don't mean to cut her off, or maybe you do, but when the words tumble from your lips, she cocks her head in a way that tells you she's going to have fun studying this session later in the day.

"I feel like I'm not even here," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like I'm watching my life happen to someone else."

Your therapist pauses, her pen hovering over her notepad. "That's a significant observation," she says slowly, as if measuring each word. "It sounds like you're experiencing dissociation, a common response to trauma."

You want to roll your eyes at her clinical response, but you can't muster the energy.

"Why does it matter?" you ask, your tone flat. "Knowing what's wrong doesn't make it better. I'm still...gone."

She leans forward slightly, her eyes searching yours for a flicker of connection. "It's the first step," she says. "Understanding what you're experiencing can help us find a way to bring you back. It's not a quick process, but it's a start."

You feel a surge of frustration. "Everyone keeps saying that. 'It's a process,' 'It's a journey,' 'It takes time.' But what if I never get back to who I was? What if I'm stuck like this forever?"

Your therapist doesn't flinch. "It's a valid fear," she acknowledges. "But healing isn't about returning to who you were. It's about integrating your experiences and finding a new sense of self. It’s about moving forward, not backward."

Her words echo in your mind, but they don't penetrate the numbness you feel. "I don't even know who I am anymore," you admit, the confession feeling like a weight lifted and a burden simultaneously.

"That's why we're here," she says gently. "To help you rediscover yourself. To help you heal. It's okay to feel lost right now. What's important is that you're here, trying to find your way."

You sit in silence, her words hanging in the air. Despite your resistance, a small part of you wants to believe her, to hope that maybe, just maybe, you can find your way out of this darkness.

But for now, you're still watching from the hollow place, detached and distant. Therapy might be a lifeline, but it feels like you're grasping at straws. You hope that someday, the promises of progress will become more than empty words, that you’ll find a way to step back into your own life, whole and strong.

But for now, that hope feels unrealistic. All you want is to know what was real. Were you that lonely? You had never felt lonely before him, never felt like a piece of you was missing. Before Lewis, you felt content with life, fulfilled.

The question haunted you. How had you become so dependent on his presence, his validation? You had always prided yourself on your independence, your ability to find joy and meaning in your own life. Friends, family, your work—these had always been enough. So why, after Lewis, did everything feel so empty?

Your mind raced back to the beginning, to the thrill and excitement of new love. You remembered how he made you feel special like you were the center of his universe.

It was intoxicating, a heady rush that blurred the lines between reality and fantasy. You realized now that you had mistaken the intensity of those feelings for something deeper, something real.

In the quiet of your therapy sessions, you wrestled with these thoughts. Your therapist's words often felt like background noise, drowned out by the clamor of your own doubts and insecurities. Yet, there was a part of you that recognized the need to confront these feelings, to understand why you had allowed yourself to become so entwined with someone who ultimately proved unworthy of your adoration.

Were you lonely? Or was it that Lewis had awakened a vulnerability you didn't know existed?

His departure left a gaping wound, exposing the raw edges of your heart. The loneliness you felt now wasn't just the absence of his presence, but the loss of the illusion of love he had created. It was the shattering of a carefully constructed facade that had made you feel whole, if only for a fleeting moment.

As you sat in your therapist's office, the background noise of her voice suddenly halted. For the first time, you murmured a sentence that showed progress, even if it was wrapped in sadness.

"I don't think any of it was real."

the way I just wrote this in 38 minutes, in my dark ass room with the linked song on replay while it's raining. what a great day. I'm really convinced that I can only write angst!

to the anon who called me sad and smutty ilyyyyy 🫶🏽😭 I'm making it my bio

also, I don't have access to the form for the taglist right now, so if you would like to be added or if you already submitted your user, pls just send me an ask with your user pls <3

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 12 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Asking your friends for help when you need it is starting to feel good instead of scary. Even listening to Cat open up doesn't sting like it once did. Bradley starts to have an ominous feeling about his upcoming mission, and when the details are revealed, he's left wondering what his career will be like in the future.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff

Length: 4400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

There was truly something to be said for the way you felt after you talked to Dr. Genevieve. Even though your period was a few days late, and you had been holding out hope, you didn't go quite to pieces when it did end up starting. Sure, there were some tears as you opened up a new box of tampons, but you didn't dwell on it as much as you had the past several cycles in a row. 

In fact, when you thought you couldn't take the physical pain of your cramps and the mental pain as well, you called Maria. You told her that you didn't want to be alone and asked if she could stop by. And she came over with a backpack and some donuts. 

"What's in the bag?" you asked as you bit into a Boston cream. 

"Clothes for tomorrow," she replied, petting Tramp while she ate a chocolate donut with sprinkles. "I figured I could sleep over."

"You don't have to," you whispered, now feeling a little embarrassed. 

But she just shrugged. "I've been a little lonely, too. My new roommate has never been as fun as you were."

"Nobody is," you added, biting into a second donut. You figured you earned it, since you'd started to get back on track with what you were eating. "Thanks for joining me in the cafeteria at work."

"Thanks for actually coming to lunch. Cam is hella boring to eat with every day."

You groaned and headed for the couch with a bottle of wine. "Ugh, I left you hanging with Cam. I'm sorry." You were going to be better about taking care of everything. Yourself, your marriage, Bradley, and your friends. 

Maria just laughed and followed behind you with two glasses and a corkscrew. "I love him, but he's still a dude. And just inherently dumb. He can't help it."

The girl talk ended up spiraling into a great weekend, and when you went to work on Monday morning, you still felt good. And Bickel had been a saint, not acting weird or giving you too much distance at all since you broke down hard in his office. Sure, maybe he was asking you how you were feeling with a little more frequency, but he kept your workload the same and never questioned anything you handed in to him.

And then there was Cat. Since you kind of blew the Jake thing up in her face, she'd been very quiet. Jake was still claiming nothing was going on now, but you'd never have been able to get an answer out of Cat one way or the other. And now you were thinking maybe you should have just minded your own business. Because Jake seemed melancholy, and he hadn't actually ended things himself even after he learned about Uncle Hondo. 

"Good morning," you said to Cat later in the week when you walked into the lab. She seemed surprised you were greeting her.

'Hi," she responded, slipping back into her usual state of calm immediately. "If you're about to ask about the calculation set, I'm almost done. I just need another hour or two."

"No rush," you replied. "Um, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch today?"

She eyed you skeptically. "In the cafeteria?"

You shrugged. "Or my office?"

When Cat didn't respond right away, you wanted to kick yourself. But then she said, "I feel like you and I just keep getting off to bad start after bad start with each other. I'd like to eat with you, but I don't want to go down to the cafeteria. At all. Just looking at Lieutenant Seresin makes me want to hide."

"Care to elaborate?" you asked cautiously. 

She just smirked. "Sure. Over lunch. In your office."

---------------------------

Bradley had stripped down to his underwear and gym shorts, and he was currently trying his hardest to meditate on his bed. Bob had spent the last several weeks patiently trying to explain to him exactly what went into it, but Bradley would reach a state of calm and then inevitably get distracted. 

He cracked his eyes open to see Bob in a state of complete relaxation on his own bed. Something about this just didn't work as well for him, and his brain was buzzing, so Bradley reached for his notebook instead. There were too many things he wanted to write down. It felt like he wasn't going to be able to stop emptying out all of his feelings now that he started, and after several weeks, the notebook was mostly full. 

The desire to be at home was overwhelming. Thinking about eating homemade Marry Me Rooster with his wife perched on his lap was all that was getting him through this deployment. As soon as he was home, he'd make sure you knew exactly what you meant to him. There were no conditions on his love, and he was embarrassed and crushed that maybe he made you think there were. 

He only had a few more weeks to go. But things with the mission were looking abysmal. Slayer and Charmer were getting worse to deal with by the day, and the way the admirals praised them was beyond ridiculous. Like the shiny, new aviators were somehow better than the ones with more experience. Like Bradley, Nat and Bob couldn't keep up now. It was hard to keep believing that the admirals would actually put the best team together to complete the mission. 

"Wow," Bob suddenly said, stretching his arms over his head and removing his glasses. "That was a great session."

"Yep," Bradley agreed, nodding as he scribbled in the notebook. "Really good, Bob."

But the other man was already pulling the bedding up to his shoulders, and Bradley knew he'd be asleep soon. "Good for you," he muttered, returning to his notebook. 

Nat and Bob were so good to him, this deployment should have been a breeze. And it had improved since he got to talk to you over facetime in the commanding officer's quarters, but he thought he'd go ahead and start a countdown in the notebook anyway. Just eighteen more days until he should be arriving back in San Diego. And he was hoping like hell he would get to call you again before then. 

But a few days later, he still hadn't been selected for another facetime session. And Bob and Nat got called out onto the tarmac after dinner for a repairs inspection that was performed on their Super Hornet. So Bradley headed to the gym for a workout by himself, and the room was thankfully fairly empty. He put in his ear buds and got out his phone. He selected the playlist you made for him last year called This is what a gym playlist should sound like, Bradley and he smiled. 

Pretty soon he was sweating, working his way through some bicep curls, when he saw Slayer out of the corner of his eye. He would ignore him. No problem. Only two weeks left to go. Only a few more days until the mission. "Do not engage," Bradley muttered to himself. 

But of course he couldn't control what Slayer decided to do, and the idiot wandered over toward him. And then he snatched his phone off of the bench, and Bradley was on his feet immediately, still clutching the fifty pound dumbbell in his left hand. 

"What the hell do you want?" Bradley asked, plucking one ear bud out. "It's bad enough I have to see you in the classroom all day."

Slayer just laughed, and Bradley realized he was staring at his lock screen. "Just wanted another look at your wife. How much younger is she, old man? She got a grandpa fetish or something?"

Bradley's fingers tightened around the dumbbell, and he wished he'd given more of an effort to meditating with Bob. 

He was seething. And then Slayer asked him, "You know what? Why don't you just give me her number so I can keep her warm next time you're out of town?"

Bradley had to fight the urge to throw the dumbbell at him. "You talk an awful lot for someone so stupid."

"And you strut around like you own the place for something who can barely fly."

Bradley's blood was boiling now. The admirals had pumped these kids so full of bullshit, there was going to be no arguing with him. Instead he snatched his phone out of Slayer's hand and pocketed it. "And you're slow as shit versus an old man. Now get back to your bunk, it's almost curfew for the children."

Slayer smirked at him as he backed away toward an empty weight bench. "Just wait. You'll see."

--------------------------

You had made it this far, you could make it two more weeks. But you got your period again, right on time. And you knew it was ridiculous to get choked up when you had to get the tampons and pads out again, because Bradley wasn't even home. You hadn't had intercourse since he left six weeks ago. You knew there was no way. But just the idea of knowing another cycle was ending had tears stinging behind your eyes. 

When you heard the doorbell, you quickly washed your hands and rushed out to where Tramp was practically howling at the front door. "Chill out," you told him. "You'll be happy. You loved him last time."

"Hi," Cat said as soon as you opened the door, and you saw Hondo pull away in his green Chevy. Jeremiah was in her arms, and once again, he smiled when he saw you. Things at work were a lot better, including having several nice conversations with Cat.

"Sorry, little guy," you said softly as they came inside. "No Rooster this time."

Cat laughed. "I think your dog will suffice. He loves animals."

When you closed the door, you watched Tramp follow them over to the couch, and then he started licking Jeremiah's little hands nonstop while the baby laughed. "If he's annoying, I can put him out back for a bit."

"No," Cat said as she and her son both laughed. "This is great." And then Jeremiah broke free from her arms and stood with both hands on Tramp. And you swore your dog had never been happier either. 

A little pang of sadness struck your heart as Tramp looked all too delighted at the attention he was being given. You were searching for a safe topic of conversation. Cat had been joining you for lunch on occasion, which was great. But now you found that you had so many friends, you needed to juggle your time with them. Cam and Cat were a little awkward around each other. And Cat wouldn't tell you exactly how she felt about Jake, but you knew Jake was sad and Cat was avoiding him.

So you asked her, "You still feel like hiding from Jake at work?" It seemed like a safe enough topic, and you almost laughed when she covered her face and collapsed dramatically against the arm of the couch. 

"Please! You keep asking me about this!"

"I'm curious by nature," you claimed. "And you never really told me anything."

She glanced at you as Jeremiah went crawling across the floor after Tramp. "I'm still embarrassed that I even kissed him in the first place. Uncle Bernie and I had it out several times about all the push ups, but he was just trying to take care of me. And I know that sounds like an excuse, but... keeping someone like Jake away from me is probably his top priority while Jer and I are living with him."

You tried to keep your composure, because you and Cat seemed to finally be getting along, but you just couldn't understand why she wouldn't give Jake a chance for real. "He's a good guy, Cat. God... I can't even tell you how many times he's helped me out and made me feel safe."

She turned to face you where you sat at the other end of the couch. "He's exactly like my ex husband. A cocky, handsome aviator who is too smart for his own good."

You shrugged and kind of nodded, because that definitely sounded like Jake. "Well whatever your ex did to piss you off, I doubt Jake would be the same. Are you afraid he won't accept Jeremiah?"

She swallowed hard. "I'd rather not even find out where he stands on his opinions about my son. And listen, there's a reason why my ex husband never met Jeremiah. And it's the same reason I never let him know our son's social security number or where we ran off to. I'm sure he has a hunch that I was able to transfer to Top Gun, but Mike is definitely too scared to come sniffing around for more while I'm with Bernie."

You shook your head in confusion. "Come sniffing around for more of what?"

"Money," she said simply, but her jaw was set, and she looked ready for a fight. And you should have probably known all along that there was more than what she had told you over the past few months. You were pretty sure you were the only one who even knew about Jeremiah, besides Bradley and Cam. And if Cat was the type of person who took their time opening up to people, you were surprised that you were the one she was talking to about this.

"He wants your money?" you asked softly. 

Since she borrowed your car, you knew she didn't have one, and she said that she was broke. But your jaw dropped open when she said, "Mike was dishonorably discharged from the navy for showing up to work drunk and drinking while on base. He tanked his own career, and nobody in Annapolis could even look at me the same after that."

"Why would he do that?"

She laughed, but she looked like she was going to cry. "Because I told him I was pregnant."

Jeremiah was laying on his back now while Tramp licked his neck, and he was giggling up a storm. "I'm so confused," you told her. "He didn't want you to get pregnant?"

"Well he told me he would be happy to have kids. But by the time I told him I was pregnant with Jer, he had already opened four credit cards in my name. He had already lost all of our savings. And he knew I was going to find out about all of it as soon as I mentioned us opening a bank account for our unborn child."

"Oh."

When she met your eyes, she shook her head. "He has a gambling addiction." You watched as she wiped at her cheek. "I used to own a beautiful house," she said, glancing around longingly. "I had a car. He and I had money saved. But he managed to lose all of it, plus the credit card advancements in my name. I owe more than half a million dollars in money that I didn't spend. Money that I never saw. And that doesn't include what I've paid to my lawyers. Mike did all of that while I thought we were building a life together."

"Holy shit," you whispered. You felt nauseous just thinking about it. And you were suddenly even more thankful for Bradley.

"So yeah... cocky, headstrong aviators might be my type on paper, but I can't get involved. And I'm sorry I was leading Jake on. But, it's not just him. I can't get serious with anyone when my life is a trainwreck that I will never be able to recover from. I'm going to be spending the rest of my life trying to make sure this doesn't all fall to him," she said, nodding toward where Jeremiah was now crawling back toward the couch with Tramp following right behind him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I don't know what else to say except that you didn't deserve any of that, and neither did Jeremiah."

She reached down to scoop him up into her arms as he yawned. "Yeah well, I hope you're smarter than me. I hope you had a prenup."

You sat quietly and watched as she kissed Jeremiah's forehead and reached into the diaper bag she brought with her so he could eat some cereal. Cat had been honest with you. She told you months ago that she was jealous of you, and now you knew why. You had all these things that you were taking for granted. 

For some reason, you thought she ought to know that you'd been jealous all along, too. "You still have something so good though. Something I wish I had."

She looked at you like you'd completely lost it while Jeremiah ate some Cheerios. "What? A marriage that ended in shambles and a career that is hanging on by a thread? Or the inability to ever have someone take you seriously in a relationship ever again?"

"No. Jeremiah."

She looked at you, and her face dropped. "Oh." And maybe she realized that meant you and Bradley had been trying unsuccessfully, but you changed the subject before she could ask any questions. 

"But that doesn't matter, really. And you know, there are some things we do have control over here."

"Like what?" she asked, and when you smiled softly, she smiled back.

"Jake. I think you might be surprised by him, Cat. I think he'd be good with Jeremiah."

"No," she replied right away. "I'd rather not even find out. Besides, it's already too late with Jake. Even if he was going to stop sleeping around, it's done. He asked me out at least fifteen times. And I said no at least fifteen times."

"If he asked you out again, would you say yes?"

You jumped several inches when your doorbell rang again, and Tramp ran for the door like he was a professional guard dog. "We didn't even order a pizza yet," you said as you stood. But the closer you got to the door, you thought you knew who it must be, and you answered it anyway.

"Angel," Jake drawled, bending to pet Tramp who immediately turned into a puppy again at the prospect of pets from one of his favorite people. "Just thought maybe you'd want to get dinner and head to the Hard Deck later?"

When you didn't respond right away, Jake pushed the door open wider and let himself inside. Then you watched him freeze up as he saw Cat sitting on your couch with Jeremiah in her arms. "Cat."

She looked absolutely mortified as she stood up, but she had nowhere to go. She was reliant upon Hondo coming back to pick her up, and Jake was staring right at Jeremiah. "Jake," she said so softly, you could barely hear her across the room.

He huffed out a short breath and ran his fingers through his hair, past the scar on his forehead from the last time he was deployed with Bradley. You weren't sure what you should do, but then he simply said, "You have a kid."

Cat's chin was in the air again, and you knew she wouldn't let Jake or anyone else say one negative thing about that child without consequences. "His name is Jeremiah."

"Jeremiah," Jake repeated, and two sets of matching dark eyes were looking right at him before Jeremiah yawned and fell asleep on his mom's chest. "He's adorable."

Cat sank slowly down so she was sitting on the couch once again, and she looked like the fight was gone, almost like she was exhausted now. You nudged Jake in the ribs and then reached for Tramp's leash where it hung near the door. "I'll be right back. Just going to take him out." But nobody was listening to you. Once the leash was clipped on his collar, Tramp pulled you out onto the front porch. You caught one last glimpse of Jake taking up residence in the spot on the couch you'd vacated, and then you closed the door.

You puttered around the yard with Tramp before deciding to just walk him down to the beach and back. But the early spring air was chilly when the wind picked up across the sand, and you wished you'd taken a minute to grab Bradley's sweatshirt from the hook as well. 

Playing a comparison game in your mind would get you nowhere, you knew that. Everything Cat told you was completely fucked up, but she had to know how that Jeremiah was worth it. And you knew that Bradley was enough, even if it was just the two of you. But now you were a little worried about Jake putting his foot in his mouth. 

When you hustled back down your block, shivering as the breeze picked up some more, you saw that Jake's car was still in your driveway. And when you cautiously let yourself back inside with Tramp, you found Cat and Jake sitting very close together on the couch. And Jake was holding Jeremiah while he slept.

-------------------------

Bradley knew it would be a short call. The mission was scheduled for a few days from now, weather depending. But if he was allowed even five minutes with you, he'd take it any day of the week. 

When you answered his facetime call, you were sitting in your office with your lunch in front of you. "Roo!" you gasped, dropping your fork into your burrito bowl. "I miss you!"

"I miss you, too, Sweetheart."

He watched as you turned to someone off screen and said, "Okay, thanks."

"Who are you eating lunch with?"

"Cat," you replied quickly, and he was a little surprised by that answer. "She just stepped out into the hallway so we could talk. Please tell me you'll be home on time, Bradley."

He smiled and said, "Haven't been notified of any changes, so I think so. Please tell me you got plenty of hot sauce in there."

You laughed and tipped your lunch so he could see all of the green hot sauce. "Absolutely. You know how I like it."

"I do," he replied softly as he examined your face. Beautiful. Just gorgeous. And you looked so much happier now. You looked like you'd been sleeping better. 

"I wish I was sharing my lunch with you."

He nodded. "I've been thinking a lot about our dining room. And how it feels so good to hold you on my lap while we eat a meal off of one plate."

You gasped softly. "I've been thinking about that too." When your eyes drifted closed, you added, "And how you wrap your left arm around me and kiss my neck while he eat."

"Baby Girl." His voice was raspy, and he was aching to be with you right now. "We'll do everything." 

But he only had one more minute with you, and he wanted to know how you were doing. When he asked, you said, "I can tell you when you get home. Tell me about the mission."

"I can't say much. Teams get selected tomorrow morning. Flight is weather dependent. You know the drill."

"I do. I just want you to be safe," you told him softly. "Need you to come home."

"I'll be there so soon. I love you."

And after that, he still felt so good as he got to the classroom a few minutes early the next morning. Admiral Dean smirked at him as he took his usual seat, and the room started filling up. Other than the fact that he had to stare at the back of Slayer's head, he was ready to get this mission in the air and get home.

"As you well know," Admiral Dean started, "the final details will not be set in stone until the day of the mission. So we are left with two options, and we need to be clear on both of them. Option A: the two teams will fly in formation and strike the communications tower first before proceeding to the enemy base. This is the preferred option as we would be removing multiple streams of communication first, but we may need to switch to an alternate flight path if they have too many aircrafts in the air. So that brings us to Option B, in which you will strike the base first and then loop around to the communications tower."

Bradley's brain was literally numb from listening to this information over and over again. He understood the importance of what needed to be done, but this was overkill now. When he glanced at Nat, she looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep. Until Dean spoke again.

"If there are no questions, that brings us to team selections. Four aircrafts will be flying this mission. We've chosen the best, and I am already convinced of the success of this mission. The teams will be as follows: Slayer will be paired with Phoenix and Bob."

His heart sank. Shit. That was supposed to be Bradley's pairing. Fucking Slayer. But it probably didn't matter too much if he was flying alongside a different two-seater, just as long as he was in the air with his friends. Really, all four aircrafts were responsible for keeping each other safe, so he wouldn't be too far from them at all. 

"And the second team will be Charmer paired with Terror and Mack."

It took a second to register. But slowly, it seemed like everyone in the room was turning to stare at Bradley. Admiral Dean looked smug. Nat and Bob looked distraught. And Slayer looked damn near delighted. Then Charmer turned to him and laughed. 

And Bradley had the fleeting thought that his career was over. He was the oldest aviator in the room by a few years. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was falling short with proving himself in the air just as he had been messing things up on the ground with you. And that sick, embarrassed feeling in his stomach was there to stay as all those thoughts took up permanent residence in his mind.

-----------------------------

Oh. That stings. That really hurt my feelings. Bradley could fly circles around them. And how do we feel about Jake? Cat? Jeremiah? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 13

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[bitethedevil]

Living with The Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 16

Chapter: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

Read this fic on AO3 (Link)

Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.

…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.

Chapter Summary: Raphael and Tav have a long conversation and she finally makes her decision.

(AN: Here we are. We are finally reaching the conclusion. This chapter is technically the end, and the next one will be a sort of epilogue (and the very last chapter.))

Tav was pacing. She was thinking. There were too many thoughts going through her head at once. Too many of them were colored by feelings rather than rationality. Anger at what she had witnessed. Grief at what she might be losing no matter what she chooses. Stress at having to make a decision like this. Fear of the inevitability of it all.

Raphael finally came back up from Hope’s old cell. He was in his cambion form, suggesting that he might have taken out his frustrations from her comments on Cassius, though she could see no blood on him. He tried to silently sneak past her. She did ask for peace and quiet, after all. She found out that peace and quiet did nothing for her. She stopped her pacing to look at him.

“Come here, please,” she said.

Raphael stopped in his tracks and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. The look of defeat he had when she gave him a piece of her mind in the cell had been exchanged for his usual façade of calmness.

“You said that you wished for a moment of privacy.”

“I did. Now I don’t,” she said and waved a hand at a chair. “Please sit down.”

He narrowed his orange eyes at her.

“You seem confused, dear,” he said. “Your current predicament does not allow you to give me orders in my own home. You—”

“Would you please shut up for once,” she snapped in irritation. “And sit down. I’m not ordering you I’m asking you, and even if I was, stop acting like you are not interested in what I have to say.”

There was a look of faint surprise on his face at her bluntness. He opened his mouth to say something.

“No,” she warned before a word could come out and pointed at the chair once again.

She could see him bite the inner side of his cheek to not smile in amusement. He looked her up and down while he was trying to decide whether he should fight her on the matter. He eventually walked to the chair and sat down. He leaned back in the chair and waited patiently for her to talk. She threw herself down in the chair opposite from him.

“You are without a doubt the worst bastard I have ever had the misfortune of knowing,” she said coldly. “I hated you so much before I was released. I hated you after as well. I still do, in fact. You are a terrible, evil person and that’s a fact you are well aware of. A fact that you enjoy, even.”

A smile tugged at Raphael’s lips.

“May I speak?” he asked.

“No, this isn’t really a conversation,” she said with a sigh and brushed his question away with a wave of her hand. “I just feel stupid talking to myself.”

Raphael gave her a short ‘mm’ and nodded, while he tried his best to hide his amusement at the situation.

“Let’s go over what you have actually done to me personally though,” she mumbled to herself with another sigh and started counting the incidents on her fingers. “You kidnapped me because you were angry that I broke into your house and that I did not give you the Crown of Karsus. You fucked me to pieces the first time we had sex…”

A self-satisfied look washed over his face at the mention of that. Tav kept listing:

“You almost killed me in your sleep, accident or not. You fingered me while you made me play the song that you planned on killing me and all of my friends to.”

“You were not complaining at the time…” Raphael chimed in with a smile.

“Shhhh,” she shushed and kept going. “You made it sound like I was complicit in what happened to Cassius the first time you punished him. You are doing the same now that you are punishing him again…Then there is of course the parade of evil shit you have put me through the last 24 hours…And all of the blatant manipulation and mind games, but I don’t have enough fingers for counting that.”

She leaned back in the chair and looked at the ceiling as she tried to remember if she had forgotten anything.

“Quite the list, but not as long as I might have anticipated,” she mumbled. “Most of them are not that horrible either. Though it doesn’t include all the horrible things you have done to others, which I should consider. I have killed plenty of other people for less than what I know you have done to others. I don’t even want to think about what I don’t know.”

She took a deep breath. It was quiet for a moment while she was thinking. There was only the sound of the cracks from the fireplace and the howling of souls in the distance. She fiddled with the arm of the chair while she looked into the flames with an empty stare.

“You’ve also been kind…” she said quietly. “To me, at least. That night where you almost killed me. You saved my life as well after. You accepted my scars when I showed them to you…You slept in human form from that day on so you wouldn’t do it again.”

“You called out my name…”

“What?” she asked.

“You called out my name that night,” he repeated in an uncharacteristically quiet voice and then cleared his throat. “I woke up because you screamed my name while I was tearing you apart.”

“Well…yes,” she said as if he had stated something obvious. “To make you stop.”

He gave her a small smile and then looked into the fire.

“You had been sleeping,” he said in a low voice. “You could have called for one of the servants, you might have even been sleeping so heavily that you did not realize where you were and called for your friends in a moment of confusion, or you could have even simply called for help. You did not. Your first instinct was to call on me. You were so certain that I would stop if you simply awoke me.”

She raised an eyebrow at that.

“You did,” she said. “Or at least you must have at some point, since you managed to save me.”

“Though you were so certain that I would that you might have used your final breath to call out for the very person who would have been the cause for your death.”

Tav scrunched up her face and looked at the floor as she thought about it. It had been instinct. She had instinctively known that he would stop if he knew what he was doing, though he had given her no reason to believe that he particularly cared for her at that point.

“Your life was never crucial to my plan,” he said. “A fact that I am certain you have already figured out on your own. Perhaps, if you had not called out my name that night, I might have saved myself the trouble of saving you and gone along with my second plan: tell your friends that you are dead, wait for them to avenge you, kill them, and retrieve the hammer myself. How different things could have been, were it not for such a small thing…”

He looked at her. Though there was still a façade of calmness on his face, she could see that there was also a glimmer of something in his eyes that suggested that a part of him was worried about her reaction. She probably should have been mad at having just been told that she could have been long dead, killed by the man she loved. She was not. She was confused more than anything.

“Well why didn’t you then?” she asked. “I don’t understand.”

“I found it curious,” he said quietly. “The stubborn, idiotic woman who had been a thorn in my side for so long, who was then reduced to this…fragile, dying, little thing in my arms. It felt like hours as I held you under the water, wishing for it to wash away what I had done. You had trusted me in your final moments…found me a savior, even. Not out of desperation like so many others, but pure, naïve, misplaced trust.”

He turned his head to look into the fire again and took a deep, sharp breath. It was clear on his face that the devil part of him was actively fighting the mortal part that felt some emotion over the confession.

“Then you told me about your father and the pieces started coming together,” he continued and brushed away the emotion with a lazy hand gesture, returning to his cold and rational self. “A child is forced to trust those who care for them to survive, no matter how cruel they might be. Some of those children continue to do so even when they grow up. Like yourself.”

“And some of those children refuse to trust anyone at all when they grow up,” she said softly. “Like you…”

He looked sharply at her with a slight warning in his eyes. It softened a moment after, and he looked away from her again. He did not comment on her observation. It had been a reach in the dark. She did not know much about Raphael’s relationship with his father, other than he both hated him and was terrified of him, though his reaction had told her that she was right in her guess.

“I think that night was when I started truly feeling something for you as well,” she said.

“I’m aware,” he said with a small smile. “You made it all too easy for me, my dear. I knew I had you in the palm of my hand from the moment you dared to show me your scars. From then it was a game: drawing you in by showing you the parts of myself that I knew you wanted to see and pushing you away with the parts of what I truly am to see how far I could go.”

“Say what you will but it was not all deception,” she said. “I began to be able to tell the difference.”

“Indeed,” he said. “Which I only allowed because I knew I had you. Then you ran away, and I thought for a moment that I had been wrong, and I let you go. I rarely am. Now you are here, proving that I was right all along. You might not know what your answer will be yet, but I do. You will stay.”

“Am I truly so hopelessly predictable?”

He did not say anything, but his smile said everything.

“If you were so sure, then why were you still playing your mind games with me?” she asked. “Why did you try to appeal to my stubbornness by saying I would leave you?”

He took a deep breath and studied her with an unreadable expression for a moment.

“I dislike being proven wrong,” he said in a quiet voice. “It does happen on rare occasions. This is something that I am not sure I can bear being proven wrong about…”

She looked at him and how his eyes softened ever so slightly as he said it. He looked and sounded so sincere that it almost made her tear up. She was not going to let him off the hook so lightly though.

“Say it then,” she said hurriedly, her voice beginning to crack. “Say that you want me to stay. Use that clever silver-tongue of yours to convince me to do so. I need to hear it.”

He looked at her with such longing for a moment.

“I will not lie to you, Tav,” he said. “My intention when I let you go was sincere. It would be better for you to leave. Was I not selfish, I would have left you in Baldur’s Gate and refused you entry to my home. The foundation for your love for me was built by the cruelties you have known in your past. You are young and have had no time to build anything else, though you should be given the chance before I eventually come for your soul. However,” he said and paused before continuing. “It just so happens that I am selfish. I do want you to stay and I do love you...Though only in a way that will never be adequate for what you need or deserve…”

Tav’s tears were running down her cheeks. She inhaled sharply as she tried to stop crying so much. They had never told each other before. Not really. He held out a clawed hand to her. She got up from her chair and took it. He gently pulled her to his lap and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his doublet.

“I love you too,” she sobbed while he ran his fingers through her hair in a soothing motion. “I just wish…gods…I just wish it didn’t have to be like this. Because this is the person I love. Not the person I have seen today and yesterday.”

“No matter how much you wish it, they are the same,” he sighed into her hair. “You cannot get the man and discard the devil, my sweet.”

“But you could change,” she pleaded. “I don’t know how. You could just stop. Stop collecting souls, stop torturing people, stop all of this.”

“I am thousands of years old,” he said. “I am set in my ways. I cannot change just for you, my dearest, and I do not wish to. Your life time is a mere blink of an eye for someone like me. I have to survive and live on long after you are gone and—”

He cut his sentence off abruptly and held her even closer. His breathing changed and he was not allowing her to see his face with the grip he held her in. Was he crying? It was gone again after he cleared his throat and kissed the top of her head.

“It will hardly matter though, will it?” he asked softly. “You will choose to stay regardless…you poor thing.”

She started crying again when she realized that he was right. She nodded. She heard a small sigh of relief coming from his lips. She placed her hands on his cheeks and looked into those orange eyes of his.

She never realized how differently she had seen his two forms before now. That she had somehow separated who he was even in that regard. She looked at that orange light that shone through the black abyss of his sclera, and at the jagged horns that protruded from his forehead. She had always thought that she had only loved the man. She found to her horror that she loved the devil as well.

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” she asked him genuinely, as if she truly did not have the answer herself and had gone slightly mad. “Or I’m evil too, perhaps. A terrible person at least. I’m not a hero, that’s for sure, or a good person. How else could I do this?”

“You are human,” he said with a smile. “The Hells would be empty if it was not for that simple quality of imperfection in mankind. I should know. I have spent my life on exploiting it.”

She went quiet and leaned against his chest again. Her head was still running away with her. Not because she was to make a decision, but to cope with the one she had just made.

She was standing on the balcony, looking out over the hellscape of Avernus. Her new home. It was an impossible task to take it all in at once. Everything had happened so fast. Perhaps that had been the point. Even now, she was not sure how much of the outcome of the situation had been meticulously planned by Raphael.

She had felt the same way during her adventure. Everything seemed complete coincidence until Raphael’s name seemed to pop up everywhere, and it became apparent that the devil had orchestrated a lot more than could ever be seen at their first glance. The Shadow-cursed Lands, Astarion’s scars, Gortash, the Crown, Orpheus and his chains…All tied to one man who seemed to hold fate itself in the palm of his clawed hand.

Who knew if she was not simply a key to something bigger down the line as well and that it had all been one big trick? Everyone else who had gotten connected to him probably thought they had the upper hand as well and it seemed all too like him to let them believe that.

She felt that she understood him and knew how he worked. She was sure of it. Then again…a person might understand the intricate nature of any beast, but that won’t make the beast any less dangerous and it won’t save them from being devoured if it pleases it.

Her head was somewhere else when the beast himself snaked an arm around her waist from behind her and placed a kiss on her neck. His free hand held a rolled piece of parchment in front of her face. She took it.

“Read it through carefully,” he purred and placed another kiss on her neck. “We can discuss any changes or adjustments you might have after.”

She rolled out the parchment and looked it over briefly.

“What is this?”

“A contract of sorts,” he said. “Not for your soul, but for your life. Rules for you to follow and freedoms that I will grant you in return.”

“A deed of ownership, essentially…”

“Marriage, essentially,” he corrected and smiled against her skin. “I did tell you that if you chose this, you would be mine. Mine in life and in death.”

She huffed and turned around to face him.

“Same thing in the end, isn’t it?”

“Must you be such a pessimist, my dear?” he said with a dramatic sigh. “Read it. Let me hear your thoughts when you are done.”

She smiled at him and lowered her gaze to read it through. It was rather long and extremely detailed.

A few of the notable freedoms he would grant her did in fact surprise her: she would be granted four months of every year to spend time on the Material Plane, which would not include the times where he might take her there himself. She would also be given a private space that she could use as she pleased. She would never have to sleep in the same bed or occupy the same space as him, if she did not want to, and most importantly, it was stated that he could not force her to do anything against her will.

She got to the clauses containing the rules for their ‘marriage’. There were a lot that made perfect sense, such as infidelity not being permitted in their relationship (there was an extensive list of what Raphael categorized as such underneath). There were also plenty of odd ones: She could not communicate with other devils or agents of the Infernal in any way, shape or form. There was also another one that was wrapped in so much Infernal legalese that it took her a while to decipher it: she was unable to remove the effects of any spells or conditions that Raphael put on her for whatever reason.

Her eyes scanned over every word, though when she had read to the end and there was only the dotted line left on the page, she was still confused about one thing.

“You can’t take my soul as collateral if I break the rules since you already own it,” she stated. “So, what am I signing away?”

“Correct,” he said. “This is a different sort of contract. In a sense it is not entirely different from a warlock’s pact. If the warlock breaks any clauses, their patron might take something away from them for a time instead of breaking the pact entirely. In the cases of warlocks, that would be their powers, but in the case of you, it will be some of those freedoms stated in your contract.”

Ah. There was the catch that she had been waiting on. She sighed and scanned through the contract once again. Most of the rules seemed easy enough to follow. Then again, that was often the thing with contracts like these: they looked fair on the surface. She had already taken a decision, so it was too late to back out now anyway. She would simply have to trust him.

“I’ll sign,” she said. “But I have one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You will be more honest with me in the future,” she said. “I know that you don’t lie, but I want you to be clearer with your intentions in the future. No more games...”

He smiled at her.

“Such things are awfully difficult to write into a legal document,” he said.

“I just want your word on it,” she said. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” he said. “Will you sign then?”

She nodded. He summoned a quill. She took a deep breath and looked it through one last time before signing it. She was going to regret this. She just knew it.

He smiled fondly at her and made the contract disappear with a snap of his fingers. He walked closer and his arms wrapped around her.

“Another rhyme then…for old times’ sake,” he said quietly to her and looked at her lips. “Though fate was cruel, the cat said, our paths again align. The chase is over, my sweet mouse, now that you are mine…”

She smiled. He leaned down and kissed her softly. In that moment all her worries disappeared from her mind as if they had never been there in the first place.

She loved him. The man who felt, and the cruel silver-tongued devil who did not. All of him. She would gladly hand him the knife that he would use to cut her open with, if only it meant that she could be the blood that clung to him after. He would stitch her together again anyway, and she would know that only he could ever make her feel whole.

[maddascanbe-blog]

Huh, I expected to get my drawing of Teen Zoé done for the redesigns first. Oh well... Only Kwami-swaps of the Lifeswap AU!

Meet Amaranth and Cerastes!

For no reason at all I decided to give Swap-Zoé long hair and Swap-Chloé shorter hair. Which is the exact opposite of my normal redesigns for them.

André won the custody battle for Zoé, and put his best foot forward into raising her and Chloé. Zoé is similar to how she is in cannon, late season 5. But she still learned how to mirror people, convincing them to lower their guard around her. She is a politicians daughter after all, and having people on your side is most important when convincing people to follow you. Zoé ultimately wants to do good for Paris, and is good friends with Ivan and the other members of Kitty section due to their activist mindsets.

Zoé's biggest fear is the secret of her being not André's biological daughter coming to light. He told her when she was 13 because he worried her biological father might try and regain custody in order to extort André for money. He made it clear in no uncertain terms that she is Zoé Bourgeois, the youngest of the family, Chloé's sister, and his daughter.

While she is happy André won't give her up for anything, she finds a new resentment for Audrey. And lives in fear this will harm her father's reputation, change how her relationship with her sister works, and effect how her friends see her, should it ever come to light.

Chloé's know for years that Zoé was the result of Audrey's cheating, she knew that one of the contentions during the divorce was that Audrey was barely in Paris the entire first 2 years of Chloé's life. The math didn't math, so she pieced together the truth. This only added fuel to her burning hatred for Audrey, Zoé is her little sister.

As Amaranth, Zoé makes her voice Heard! There is no stopping her once she's set her mind to it. I based her outfit on a womens power suit, and those asymmetrically colored biker jackets.

Juleka meanwhile, grew up with Anarka. She remembered her brother from when they were little, and is a tad horrified at who he's grown up to be. With Luka gone, Juleka lost her spark and her voice. She almost never talks, and doesn't stand up for anything. She just goes through the motions most days. Anarka tried to bring that light back to her daughters eyes, but every step forward has two steps back taken by Juleka's bullies. Being a quiet kid, who's mom can't keep a job, wears hand me downs, and whose dad ran off didn't leave much to be desired when it came to options of being harrassed.

Finally Anarka broke and asked Jagged to let the twins reunite. She hoped this might be a chance for Juleka to find herself again. And while Luka had changed too much from her caring and strong twin, she did find Zoé, Marinette, Adrien, and the members of Kitty Section.

Do you remember Juleka helping Zoé dye her hair in Sole Crusher? Well this time it happens in reverse. After getting comfortable with the group, she approaches Zoé about getting her hair colored. Naturally, Zoé's gotta help her girly out.

After Luka is deemed no longer suitable to be a miraculous holder, Ladybug and Chat Noir decide to give Juleka a chance. Cerastes isn't flashy, or confident. She's stealthy, sharp, and attentive.

Juleka's spent years just adapting to new situations and learning to read people for the sake of surviving, and it comes in handy when it comes to figuring out Akuma's.

Unshockingly, Luka isn't happy to see his miraculous used by someone else, though it does take a while to get there since Cerastes doesn't even get properly seen for ages. She's very good at disappearing.

Anarka is so relieved that Juleka finally found her people, that she's even willing to stay in Paris to keep her close to her friends. She still struggles to keep a normal job, but anything to see her little girl smile again.

[cherrycola27]

daylight

Series Warnings: Mature Content 18+. Language, drinking, and allusions to smut. Eventuallyfull smut. Military inaccuracies. Minors DNI. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 3: Wounded the Good (Trusted the Wicked)

It had been just over a month since you'd come back into Bradley's life, and he still couldn't figure you out You weren't mean to him, per se, but the friendship the two of you had all those years ago was no longer there.

You didn't go out of your way to speak to him. You barely acknowledged him at work or when you were out with friends. And when he asked you a question, your answer was never more than a few words.

He thought maybe you were mad at him over the situation with Kat. But you didn't have a right to be mad at him for moving on. You left him. He just didn't understand

But Bradley did have a sneaking suspension that the box of letters Mav had dropped off to him the first night you came back might shine some light on your feelings. Bradley realized after a week or so that you'd probably brought it to give to him. That you'd kept it your whole deployment and how when he told Kat you were just a friend that it probably broke your heart

He also knew that you weren't aware he had the box. How could you know? As far as you were concerned, the letters were in the dump by now. Bradley had worked hard to keep the intrusive thoughts about reading those letters out of his mind But, as he sat on his couch with his third beer in hand, still frustrated about the talk he and Kat had about her moving in, again, he couldn't stop thinking about them.

So, Bradley let the intrusive thoughts win. He marched upstairs and unearthed the box from the pile of blankets and sheets it was under. He took it down to his living room and sat it on his coffee table before tracing his fingers over the painted designs and knickknacks that adorned it. He could picture you, sitting cross-legged on the floor of your bunk painting and gluing. He smiled at the thought of it.

Carefully, he undid the latch and admired the picture of the two of you taped to the inner lid. It was a blurry selfie of him kissing your cheek while you were laughing. It was taken on the beach at sunset. Both of you had rosy cheeks from the sun, and the wind was blowing the fine tendrils of your hair all around, but neither of your cared. It was the perfect photo of the two of you, well, of who the two of you used to be.

Bradley ran his hands over the papers in the box. There were hundreds of them. He wasn't sure where to start, but as he pulled the first envelope from the front, he saw the date in the upper right corner. It was from just about a week after you'd been deployed. Upon further investigation, Bradley noticed that the rest were dated and in order. Of course, you would be that organized. He took a deep breath and opened the envelope, and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Your neatly looped cursive covered the page.

My Dearest, Bradley,

I wanted to start this letter by saying l'm sorry. l'm sorry for leaving you in our house, in our bed. The truth is, I didn't think I could face you in the morning to tell you goodbye. Because I felt like telling you goodbye meant that we were really over, and that's not what I wanted.

Second, I wanted to say how crazy it is that I'm writing you this letter knowing you'll probably never read it. I can't tell you much about this mission other than it is highly top secret, and we can't have contact with the outside world unless it's an extreme emergency. Unfortunately, missing your fiancée, well, ex-fiancée, doesn't count as one.

But honestly, I'm writing this letter because I miss you. It's been one week since l've talked to you, and I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh, and your voice. I miss your hugs and your kisses and your sweet disposition, Bradley.

I know that I can't send this letter to you, but in a way, writing it helps me cope with the fact that you aren't here. It helps me feel like l'm talking to you, and it makes this carrier a little less lonely. I don't know how I'm going to go five years without seeing you, but I can't wait to step onto the San Diego sand and see you again.

Maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I hope that I'm going to see you again, Bradley. But l've heard things about this mission, and I know it's dangerous more dangerous than anything we've done before. It's the kind of mission that people whisper about in corners. The kind that makes you think someone isn't going to make it back. I hope that isn't true. I hope I make it back to you, Bradley. But if I don't, I hope this letter, and any other ones that I write to you make it to you. So you have a piece of me to hold onto forever.

I carry a piece of you with me everywhere. Your challenge coin lives in the pocket above my heart in my flight suit. I never fly without it. I like to think it brings me good luck. When I'm in the air and I have it with me, it's almost like I can hear your voice in my comms. I also keep my bracelet with me. I wear it every chance I get, and when I can't. It's tucked away in my bra to keep you close to me.

Bradley pauses as his hand automatically reaches for the chain under his shirt. The one that matches your bracelet. He wonders if you still have it, if you still have his coin too. He runs his fingers over the metal, soothing himself.

He keeps reading.

I hope you aren't angry with me, Bradley. I know it must have broken your heart to wake up without me. But I hope you understand why I did what I did. I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you and that I still love you. I'l| always love you. You are the first person I've ever really truly loved, Bradley.

I know this distance is hard for us. And I know it's wrong of me to want it. But I hope that when I come back, we can pick up where we left off.

I'll write again soon.

Love Always, Your Birdie

Bradley's breath catches in his throat as a few hot tears sting his waterline and drop onto the page. He quickly wipes them away, afraid of damaging your words. Everything made since now.

In the years that you were gone, you'd never stopped loving him, wanting him, longing for him. God, he felt like such an ass now. He quickly put the first letter down and grabbed the next one.

Then another, then another. After a few more, sleep tried to creep into his eyes. So, Bradley went to his kitchen to start a pot off coffee. He poured himself a cup and read another letter and started a cycle.

Coffee, letter, repeat. He spent hours wrapped in your words until exhaustion forced him to fall asleep at his kitchen table.

A few hours later, he's jolted awake by the harsh sound of someone pounding on his door. "Bradshaw, open up. Are you alive? You missed the game!" He hears Jake yell from the other side.

Bradley jolts up from his table and scrambles to collect all of your letters that are scattered across his kitchen and living room. In his haste, he doesn't hear the rattle of the spare key the Daggers know he keeps under the potted plant next to his door turn in the lock.

"Bradshaw, what the fuck is going on in here?" Jake drawls out. Bradley turns to face him, papers in hand, and a deer in the head light look on his face.

"Uh—nothing." Bradley mumbles. "It doesn't look like nothing. What are these?" Jake asks as he grabs a stray letter from the coffee table.

"Don't touch them. They're mine!" Bradley snaps as he snatches the paper from Jake's hand. But it's too late, Jake knows that they are. "Are these letters from Birdie?" Jake questions him.

Bradley sighs, no point in denying it. "Yes, yes, they are. She wrote them to me on her covert deployment. There's hundreds of them. Mav found them in a box outside the Hard Deck near the dumpster."

"Because she was going to give them to you the night she returned, but you dropped the Kat bomb on her." Jake says as the pieces click into place.

"Yup." Bradley replies, popping the p.

"And I'm guessing Kat doesn't know about these?" Jake asks.

"She does not." Bradley says.

"Well— this—" Jake says as he gestures to the sight before him, "seems messy, and I'd rather not get involved, so good luck with whatever this is. I'll just text everyone that you were hungover and not dead," he finishes before turning on his heels and leaving Bradley alone.

...............

It's hard at first, finding your rhythm and your place amongst the Daggers again. But after a few weeks, you settle in.

It's Jake who asks you first about whether or not they will see you in a plane again, and you brush him off, claiming you're trying to get used to California time again. It pacifies the group, and no one really says anything else.

After a while, you seem to find your groove, and you fit back in with your group nicely. You find yourself going out with them more and more. And even though it hurts you to see Bradley with someone else, you can't be mean to Kat. She's so kind and genuine and always tells you how pretty you look.

A part of you feels bad for not telling her the truth about you and Bradley, but it's not your job to tell her. You just have to keep coming up with clever excuses as to why you can't come over every time she invites you to dinner.

You've officially been back for two months when Nat tells you that it's time to get back into the dating game. She tries to set you up with Bob, and he is sweet, but you remind her how well dating a coworker went for you last time. So instead, one Friday night, you find yourself sitting on the couch sharing a bottle of wine with her setting up your Hinge profile.

She flips through your photos, selecting a mix of ones that show you in a casual light alongside ones of you in your uniform, flight suit, and plane. You insisted that you didn't want to hide the fact that you were in the military.

Once your profile was set up, she helped you swipe until you got some matches. Then she helped you with some pick-up lines and conversation starters.

That's how you met Lucas. He was a few years younger than you, but he had his own place, an MBA, and worked in finance. He didn't mind that you were in the Navy. He actually thought it was cool.

Lucas was sweet and made you laugh, and after a few days of messaging on the app, you gave him your phone number. Two days later, he called you and asked you out on a date, and you agreed.

Thursday night, you pilfered through your closet to find the perfect outfit. Lucas is taking you to Dockside, a semi-upscale restaurant at the marina.

You flip through dresses before finding the perfect one. Unfortunately, when you try it on, it's not very compatible with your back brace. The material does little to hide the outline of it, and the dip in the back makes the top of it visible.

You pull off the garment and fling it to the floor before letting out a frustrated sigh. Ziva hops up and quickly retrieves it for you. You take the dress from her, and she sets her head in your lap, awaiting a few pets.

You take it from her and scratch her ears. You turn your attention back to the dress before deciding that you can go a few hours without your brace. What's the worst that could happen? You also decide that you could keep it and a sweater in your car, just in case.

You slip off your brace and try the dress back on. You double-check that the scars on your back aren't visible before taking it off and tucking it and your shoes and accessories into a garment bag.

Lucas is meeting you at 6:30, so by the time you get done for the day tomorrow, you won't have time to go home and change, so you decided to bring what you needed and get ready in your office.

.............

Bradley had set with the knowledge of your letters for a week. He hadn't read anymore since the very first night because he needed to process. He waited until the end of the day Friday to talk to you about them. That way, if he made an ass of himself, he wouldn't have to see you for two days.

He walked down the hallway and knocked on the door to your office. "Just a second!" Your voice chimed out. A few moments later, he heard the lock unlatch before the knob turned.

"Rooster." You said half-heartedly as you opened the door. "What can I do for you?"

Bradley stood there frozen at the sight before him. You had changed out of your uniform into a dress. A dress he knew very well. It was a golden yellow dress that reminded you of Andie's from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which is why you had to have it.

But that wasn't why he remembered it so well. It was the dress you were wearing when he proposed to you, and the one he took off of you before making love to you that night. The last time he saw it was on your—his bedroom floor.

"Um—you're dressed up." Bradley sputtered out.

"Yeah. I, I have a date." You say shyly, feeling the weight of Bradley's gaze on you. "What did you need?" You ask him.

"I—I can't remember. Where are you going? With who?" Bradley asks you, suddenly feeling a pang of jealousy run through him.

"His name is Lucas. We met on Hinge after Nat set me up a profile. I'm meeting him at Dockside in thirty minutes, so if you don't need anything, I need to go." You say to him with an aggravated tone.

"Oh, well, where is Ziva?" Bradley asks you.

"Not that it's really any of your business, but Uncle Beau took her home for me. Now, unless you have something pressing, I need to leave." You huff.

Bradley shakes his head. You grab your things and push past him to go to the parking lot. Once you're safely in your car, you take some ibuprofen to hopefully prevent any unbearable pain tonight.

Ten minutes after you leave, Bradley gets to his Bronco. He slides in before grabbing his phone.

"Hey, Kat. I'm sorry about last week. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you to Dockside tonight. I'll pick you up at 7:00." Bradley says before handing up the phone and heading home.

................

Lucas is sweet when you meet him. He brought you flowers and kept his hand at a respectable spot on your back as the host guided the two of you through the restaurant. He pulled out your chair for you with a smile.

You were grateful that the chairs here had a higher stiff back. It would make sitting without your brace more tolerable.

After ordering wine and looking over the menu, the two of you fell into a comfortable small talk. One glass of wine and the salad course later, you felt comfortable around him.

He was interested in your career and laughed at your jokes. This date was actually going well until the host brought a new couple to sit at the table next to you.

"Birdie?" A familiar voice called. You looked over and saw Kat and Bradley standing there. Heat burned in your cheeks.

"Birdie, what are you doing here?" Kat asked as she looked between you and Lucas. "I'm, I'm on a date." You said to her. She nodded before turning to the host and asking to move.

"Kat, they are super busy. This table is fine. I promise I'll be on my best behavior." Bradley says before sending her a wink. Reluctantly, Kat sits down.

When your entrées were served, you realized you'd been talking so much about yourself that you felt embarrassed.

Lucas laughed and told you it was fine before you started asking him questions about himself. You tried to listen intently, but every time Lucas talked about managing a hedge fund or getting his MBA from Georgetown, you couldn't ignore the not so subtle groans and scoffs from Bradley.

After one particularly loud scoff, Kat kicked Bradley under the table so hard that the silverware rattled.

By the time dessert rolled around, pain had blossomed in your spine. You felt like you were burning from the inside out. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom to take some pain medication. You took a few deep breaths before reapplying your lipstick.

When you walked back to your table, you could see Kat glaring at Bradley, and you assumed that he had done something when you were in the bathroom.

"Sorry for taking so long. I just needed to freshen up." You apologized to Lucas. "It's fine. I hope you don't mind that I ordered the chocolate melting cake for dessert. I've heard it's incredible." Lucas said to you.

"No, that's fine. I love chocolate!" You told him earnestly. And Lucas was right. The dessert was amazing. At the end of the meal, he quickly swiped the bill before you could even look at it. You noticed that Bradley and Kat also had their bill, opting not to stay for dessert.

After paying and leaving a good tip, Lucas helped you up, which you definitely needed but didn't want to ask for, before walking you to your car.

As you crossed the parking lot, you could hear the hushed whispers of a couple arguing. You turned to see Bradley and Kat in a spat. Surely, the result of his less than stellar behavior.

You don't know why he acted that way. You'd been more than civil to Kat at the various outings that the two of you had been at. He had no right to try and ruin your date.

You shook the thought of him from your head as you stopped beside your car. Lucas gave you a polite goodnight kiss before he opened your car door for you and made sure you got out of the parking lot alright.

When you finally made it home, you immediately ran inside and collapsed on your bed before grabbing your prescription pain medication and taking it.

Ziva came and rested beside you, waiting to assist you if needed, but you feel asleep before you could do anything else.

..................

Monday morning, you were fuming when you came into the work. You had time to recover over the weekend and really think about what Bradley had done.

You told him where you were going, and he purposely came to the restaurant to spy on you and your date. Where did he get off on that? You'd never done anything negative towards him and Kat. You'd always been civil to her. It's not like Bradley could be mad at you for doing exactly what he did. You had got to work early, and you clocked him coming down the hall a few minutes after you.

"Rooster!" You shouted at him. You could see the panic flash across his face before he quickly walked towards you.

"Yes?" He asked, feigning innocence.

You grabbed him by his collar and dragged him into your office.

"What the fuck is your problem?" You say as you haul him inside. "Excuse me?" He asks you.

"You heard me! You brought Kat to Dockside to sabotage my date. You were jealous that I was going out!" You yell.

"I did not. We had a fight earlier that week, and I had already planned this. It was just a coincidence that we happened to show up and be sat next to you. Honestly." Bradley defends himself.

"I don't believe you!" You tell him. "You don't like the fact that I went out on a date. Just admit it. The idea if me moving on bothers you. Which isn't fair because you moved on and got yourself a whole-ass new fiancée!" You scream at him.

"Leave Kat out of this." Bradley bites back.

"You didn't." You retort. "I mean, seriously, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem!" Bradley argues with you.

"Yes, you do! Lucas is a great guy, and all you did was scoff and make snide comments about him!" You say as you poke Bradley's chest.

"He's about as interesting as watching paint dry." Bradley rolls his eyes.

"Well, at least he was communicating with me." You cross your arms over your chest.

"Fine! Do you want to know what my issue was? It was your dress. You wore that fucking yellow dress. It was the same one you were wearing when I proposed to you!" Bradley throws his hand up in defeat.

You narrow your eyes at him. "Well, I am so sorry about that. Next time I wear something that you proposed to me in, I'll make sure Lucas is the only one who sees it. Now get out!" You state before opening the door and slamming it behind him.

A few hours later, there is a knock on your door. You aren't expecting anyone, and you're even more shocked to find that it's Kat on the other side.

"Kat. Did you get lost looking for Rooster?" You ask her. "No. I—I came to see you, actually." She admits.

You hesitate for a moment before inviting her in.

"I came here to apologize for Bradley's behavior this weekend." She says to you earnestly. "It's fine. Really." You tell her.

"No, it isn't. I don't know what his problem was." Kat says.

"Rooster was my wingman for years. When you spend a bunch of time with someone and go on deployments, you get—close." You trail off. Kat quirks an eyebrow at you.

"Like siblings." You finished quickly. "Rooster is like a brother to me. He just—wants what's best for me." You sigh.

"Well, it doesn't give him an excuse to act like a dick." Kat says. You laugh at her comment. "But seriously. I'm so sorry for how he acted. I hope he didn't ruin anything for you."

"No, he didn't. Lucas and I are going out again on Wednesday." You tell her with a smile.

"Good. I'm glad. He seemed nice." Kat smiles back at you.

"Also, Birdie, I was hoping that I could make it up to you. I was thinking we could get brunch on Saturday?" Kat asks you.

"Kat, that's really sweet, but I don't think I can be around Rooster right now. I'm still mad at him." You tell her.

"No, I didn't mean with Bradley. I meant the two of us. Like a girls' date!" Kat chirps with hope in her eyes.

You want to turn her down, but she's got such a genuine smile on her face, and you can tell she's trying to be nice. "Okay. I guess we could do that." You say. She squeals before giving you a quick hug.

"Yay! I'll get your number from Bradley, and I'll text you the details!" She cheers before walking out. "Sounds great." You call down the hallway before shutting the door behind her.

At the sound of the door closing a little too hard, Ziva perks up from behind your desk and gives you a puzzling look.

"Oh, Zee. Brunch with my ex-fiancées current fiancée. What could go wrong?"

Taglist: @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @desert-fern @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook02 @beyondthesefourwalls @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @gretagerwigsmuse @lt-spork @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @whatislovevavy @inkandarsenic @mak-32 @dingochef @princess76179 @schoollover @cheyrenee @sebsxphia @sylviebell @marvelouslyme96 @intrinsicreader @maverick-wingman-favorites @khaylin27 @toomuchfluffs

[signedeclipse]

Probably really weird and macabre but I would like to request headcanons for Douma, Hantengu and Gyokko with a human s/o who wants to try human meat for once and is really adamant about it (but not in a fetishizing way, just like 'I wonder what it tastes like'). Like what would their reactions be if their partner saw them eat someone and suddenly ask them if they can have a bite?

(If the request is too gross you really don't need to do it that's totally fine. I know cannibalism makes many really uncomfortable.)

Douma

One interesting fact about his human is that unlike others, they didn't seem all that worried by blood and gore

He was used to the screaming, pointing and running by most that ever tried to get close to him, but at worse you looked away, and it seemed more in a respectful way than a fearful way

But that is where he figured it stopped

Certain people weren't sympathetic, but you were

Others were monsters themselves, but Douma only found that to be partially true about you

"I find it's just the natural order of things" you would say "Like a lioness hunts a gazelle."

Douma didn't need ethics to keep him from feeling bad about it, but he was glad it wouldn't be an issue

But once when you walked in and naw him chewing on a leg, you stared way longer than usual

"Hello! Is everything okay?" His smile had bits of flesh and viscera stuck between the teeth

"Oh! Yeah, sorry, I got lost in my thoughts."

When he pushed to learn more, he was surprised to hear you were wondering what it tasted like, and had always wanted to try

Immediately his claws dug into the thigh and ripped out some of the muscles, tearing into the piece over and over till it was almost a sludge

Then, he shoved it in his mouth and kissed you

Of course his first concern was that your teeth couldn't break through flesh like his could so you might choke, so he broke it down as much as he could with his hands and teeth before pushing some into your mouth and parting

He swallows the majority and lets you try what little you did get

Wouldn't care if you spat it out or not, either way nothing would change

If you do like it he would tell you to hunt your own humans

Gyokko

Gyokko didn't really eat around you ever

Mostly because you spent your time in his studio and he actually tried to keep blood and gore away from his beautiful works unless intentional

But when he did he tried to be quiet about it

Surprisingly you didn't mind the gore, but you really hated mouth sounds and when he ate it was far too much to handle

It isn't beyond the upper rank to offer you to try some, but you always laughed it off or said you didn't want to ruin your clothes/appetite incase you didn't enjoy it

But this time, when he caught you staring he decided to offer for the nth time

And much to his excitement, you accepted!

Of course he wouldn't give you anything other than the best, so he ripped the heart clean out of the freshly obtained body and pressed it against your lips

Of course it was really hard to bite into, but he let you take your time before pulling it away and biting out almost half the heart with his left mouth

"Oh I love the way the red stains your pretty lips darling~"

Would laugh and prod at you for being too weak if you couldn't eat it, but would stop asking if you want any afterwards

Hantengu

Hantengu keeps to himself when eating, but he would usually do it while you eat your own meals because he enjoys the comfort of 'normalcy'

It's actually pretty impressive to him that you can keep food down and talk to him while he is eating a human

The other personalities tend to prod you about it and ask if you are a freak or something, but otherwise leave it be

They aren't out often anyways

One dinner, you were frustrated about forgetting to go to the market during the day and how you'd only have plain rice for dinner

You wondered aloud if human meat would make a good protein which immediately Hantengu was by your side

"Be careful!! Eating blood like that could make you ill,,,or worse!"

Very worried about the potential of sickness in someone's blood getting to you

But when you insist, Hantengu forced you to cook it so at the very least any bacteria is killed

You make a little stir fry with just that and mushrooms on a bed of butter rice

Surprisingly not bad, but Hantengu wouldn't let you have more beyond that one occasion

He doesn't want you to get sick, nor does he want you to lose your humanity

Authors Note - Please do not apologize because I REALLY REALLY enjoyed this request! I was a horror writer for a really long time and honestly kinda feel the romance with this <3 Also tysm for requesting Hantengu and Gyokko I love them sm... Come back soon, Anon!

[gaybananabread]

(Don’t mind the fact I go all out in this, I’m just excited) Hihi! Just noticed TADC in your fandom list soooo can I get grapes, pears, and maybe some mangoes too whilst yer at it with Ler!Kinger and Lee!Pomni? I would like the stomach and the chin to be heavily focused on spots but every other spot is great too! I think Pomni and Kinger have potential to have an adorable dynamic as I hc that Kinger is the circus father figure! Speaking of hcs, I personally think that Pomni would be an adorably ticklish squeaky toy and probably a fighter. Kinger on the other hand, I hc that he is not very ticklish at all! Sure you could get a giggle or two outta him if you try hard enough but that’s it. Sooo yeah! Gotta love ordering stuff! Have a great day and remember, you don’t have to write any of this if you don’t wanna!! Byeee!!!

Fruit(s): Grapes, Pears, Mangoes

GAH! Thank you Anon! Definitely gave me some good bones to work with! Kinger would be the one dad that has the mental stability of a pancake lol. Loved writing for these goobers, your hcs were really fun to work with! Love that you went all out, gives me some awesome ideas! As always, I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Pomni

Ler: Kinger

Summary: Pomni is having an anxiety attack due to circus craziness. Kinger invites her into his pillow fort to calm down, showing her she can still have a laugh in their insane circumstances.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

She couldn’t take it anymore. The constant craziness, being in her new body, unable to really feel anything besides the constant stress of not knowing who the *squawk* she is. Oh yeah. The filter too.

The clown was curled up on the floor of the tent, on the verge of abstraction. The other members of the circus had gone to their rooms to cool down from that day’s “adventure.” 

Caine’s weird NPCs had wreaked havoc on the psyches of the characters, especially Pomni. She had failed the game, gotten hurt and accidentally broke Gangle’s comedy mask. Her mind was a swirling storm of regrets and uncertainty. 

She was so close to being done…

-

Kinger looked around, trying to find the newest member. She’d seemed…not okay, after the activity. He wasn’t one to talk, but that had been a bad day for everyone, and he felt stable enough to help out. What he saw made his heart sink; Pomni, curled up behind some giant building blocks, small black and glitchy particles hovering around her.

He quickly shuffled over to her, wrapping two floating hands around her shoulders and squeezing her close to him. “P-Pomni! It’s okay, you’re okay! Try to take some deep breaths…”

The girl tried to breathe, the warm embrace bringing her back to…wherever they were. She was far from better, but the particles had faded. Her pupils were still detached scribbles, though.

“Here, let me just..” Kinger carefully lifted her up, carrying her towards his fort, “get you somewhere calmer.” He pushed the pillow aside, ducking and setting her down on one of the cushions.

Pomni took a few shaky breaths, her eyes flicking back and forth between the twisting scribbles and her pinwheels. She had almost…oh *honk*. 

The royal piece rubbed her shoulders, trying to calm the girl down. “It’s okay, Pomni. Just breathe. You’re doing great.” His voice was softer than normal, more paternal. It helped.

“S-sorry…I k-kinda freaked…” She sounded so guilty…that wasn’t gonna slide. “Pomni, you’re fine. Everyone has bad days. I know I do.”

Pomni forced a smile, but it was clear she was still upset. Kinger tried to cheer her up, poking her side to get her attention. He didn’t expect the shocked, strangled squeak he got in response. The knee-jerk reaction was to check for injuries, but things clicked when he saw the blush on her cheeks. “Oh. You’re ticklish.”

She had enough awareness to try and run. Kinger quickly scooped her up, trapping her in a reverse hug with her small back against his chest. “Of all the bugs in my collection, I have to say there’s a favorite. Can you guess?” One hand held her shoulders, while the other traced her belly. “It’s the Tickle Bug!”

Pomni smacked at his hands, thrashing and flailing in his hold. She was a squeaky, giggly mess in seconds. It was light tickling, but she was stupidly ticklish. “K-Kihihinger! GYEEhehehe! Nohoho!”

He chuckled at the adorable sounds, looking at her eyes. The scribbles are gone, her multi-colored eyes back and wide with surprise. “Hmm, no, these work pretty well. You need a little help calming down, and laughter is the best medicine.”

Trying something, he moved his free hand to gently scribble under her chin. Pomni’s thrashing calmed way down, her giggles getting even squeakier. It was clear her chin was a melt spot, her eyes closing. Kinger cooed and kept up the tracing. “Aww, Pomni, do you like this spot?”

She whined through the giggles, but didn’t deny it. Even with her pride on the line, she wouldn’t tell that obvious of a lie. “Kihihihinger! Ihihihit tihickles!” 

“It’s supposed to, silly. Tickle Bug, remember?” He added more stomach tickles to the mix, gently scribbling where her belly button would be. She squealed, belly laughter slipping into the giggle fit. “KihihHIHIngeher! NYAHAHAhoho!” The thrashing was back, though it was more frantic than anything. She was caught between wanting to melt into the chin tickles and writhe from the belly scratches.

While it was adorable to see her like that, he was only tickling her to cheer her up. The silly chaos she was in, while cute, wasn’t the goal. He stopped, one finger still tracing under her chin as he hugged her. “Feeling any better?”

Pomni continued to giggle softly, but nodded. Without him, who knows what would have happened. “Uh-uhuhum, yeah. Thahanks, Kihinger…”

“No problem, friend. If you ever feel like that again, just come in the fort. I’ve got your back.” He released her from the hug, his eyes squinted in a smile. While he wasn’t any more sane than the rest of them, he tried his best to help out. It was nice.

Pomni hugged him one last time before ducking out of the pillow fort, a smile still on her face. The creeping dread wasn’t completely gone, but it had subsided. She felt like she could genuinely smile for a bit. That…that was enough, for her anyway. She could get through it with her new friends by her side. Just another day in the circus…

[theflyindutchwoman]

Something that bothered me in S5a was the lack of balance between Lucy's and Tim's path to each other.

Tim seemed very into Ashley, could see himself married to her, while Lucy was keeping Chris at arms length and being jealous of Tim.

In Lucy's breakup episode, the whole episode was about her being unhappy with Chris, because he wasn’t Tim. It was all about Tim.

While in Tim's breakup episode, he was shown doing good with Ashley, indulging her, being affectionate, kissing her (Lucy and Chris never got a kiss scene.) Ashley broke up with him and Lucy was never a factor. Then next episode Tim is moping over Ashley.

It bothers me that Tim was always Lucy's first choice, that she was clearly unhappy without him, while Lucy didn't seem to be Tim's first choice, that he would be perfectly fine if he just kept dating Ashley.

I would like to hear your thoughts on this. You're a reasonable and sensible person, maybe you can show me a different perspective.

Well, this is definitely a tall order! But I can certainly try. Just keep in mind that this is of course only my perspective, and that it has no more value than yours. Disclaimer : this is going to be a really long lost, so let's buckle up and break this down point by point, shall we?

Tim seemed very into Ashley, could see himself married to her, while Lucy was keeping Chris at arms length and being jealous of Tim. So here's the thing : I don't think that Tim was completely into Ashley, so this probably colors my perception of everything else. I'm not gonna write an essay on this but let's just say the fact that he was ready to risk it all by coming in Lucy's apartment after Vegas spoke volume on how he felt about his girlfriend… Now do I think he liked Ash? Yes, absolutely. But he was just as guilty of keeping her at arm's length, only in a different way than Lucy's (and they both had valid reasons for doing that). We never saw him reveal anything too personal with her. If she didn't know he got shot, I seriously doubt she knew anything about his other scars either - physical and emotional. I'm also not sure if Tim could truly see himself married to Ashley… For one, he looked rather taken aback when Lucy brought up the subject. And that's the irony here : if it hadn't been for her meddling, I don't think he would have even considered the possibility of marriage just yet. Also note that he only said that after Lucy kept insisting. After a long silence! Not exactly the most enthusiastic answer. Now when he talked about it with Ash, he did look sad and disappointed by her answer… before he bounced right back by fake proposing to get back at Lucy. And to me, that says a lot. Because if he was seriously considering this, I doubt he would have been able to joke about it right after being told it wouldn't be in the cards. He might be good at deflecting, but not that good and not that fast.

In Lucy's breakup episode, the whole episode was about her being unhappy with Chris, because he wasn’t Tim. It was all about Tim. Not exactly though. At least, not at first. She didn't look unhappy at the beginning of the episode. That was the point. Lucy needed someone with whom she could talk things out so she could figure it out and Tim gave her the space for that. But I don't think she had necessarily connected all the dots just yet : as insightful as she is, she can be terrible at recognising her own feelings. We saw it several times in the past. And like she said, she was trying to understand WHY she didn't want to take this next step with Chris. This was a genuine question from her. I always saw her "he's not…" reaction as her final light bulb moment. As in she had finally put all the pieces together. Which is we didn't see them in the shop after that and why in the next conversation, the one in the parking lot, she made it all about Tim. Because suddenly, she was able to pinpoint the issue at hand. Chris became irrelevant from that point forward. This was no longer about him : it was all about her relationship with Tim and how she didn't want to ruin it.

While in Tim's breakup episode, he was shown doing good with Ashley, indulging her, being affectionate, kissing her (Lucy and Chris never got a kiss scene.) Ashley broke up with him and Lucy was never a factor. Then next episode Tim is moping over Ashley. I agree that he was indulging her. Which is something he did a lot with her. And that's not a good thing, not when it's one sided. But in this particular instance, he was also trying to come to terms with the fact that he might end up with some form of paralysis. Still, he only entertained her for a short while. The second she was getting seriously excited about her plans, he told her to slow her roll because it was just that : an indulgence. And when he woke up for surgery, he confirmed he wasn't going to give it more thoughts. I haven't rewatched the episode since then, but I don't recall them being that affectionate so I can't comment on it. Even the kiss : not only did we see more passion from him when he was with Rachel, we also saw how he loves going back for more with Lucy. And since we almost got a scene of Lucy and Chris in bed in 5.03 (the director cut it due to time restraint), I'm not sure if it was supposed to show how much more committed Tim was.

As for why Lucy wasn't a factor in the breakup… At that point, why would she? As far as Tim was concerned, Lucy was still with Chris and apparently not interested in him. When he wanted to talk about how it didn't feel like pretend, he got shut down. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her because the timing and phrasing could have been better. But the fact remains that she stayed with Chris. So I can see how he would want to stay with Ashley, if he couldn't be with her. Should he have broken up? Yes, the moment he decided to cross that line, that should have been his clue (for both of them actually). But I also get the impulse to stay. Was it fair? No. But that's human nature for you. And let's be real, when you're dumped by your girlfriend following a major surgery, while you're still feeling the effects of anesthesia, I think you're allowed to mope a bit. Even if the writing was on the wall, breaking up is rarely fun. And he didn't just mope because of Ashley : his longing look when Lucy left with Chris just showed that it was more than that. The only reason we didn't see Lucy mope around was because she jumped into a new relationship straight away. Tim didn't have that. Which is also why he was the first one to be single : it was his turn to pine after Lucy. It was a mirror to that scene in 5.21, when Lucy thought he was proposing. I'd have to check but I think it was practically at the exact same spot : in the parking lot, right in front of the main entrance.

It bothers me that Tim was always Lucy's first choice, that she was clearly unhappy without him, while Lucy didn't seem to be Tim's first choice, that he would be perfectly fine if he just kept dating Ashley. Except that if we go by this, Tim wasn't Lucy's first choice either : she stayed with Chris. Even after finding out Tim was single. If Chris hadn't opened his mouth and hadn't pushed her to buy a house, she probably would have kept dating him as well for a while longer. Tim was merely following his cues from Lucy. He only made his move once he realised she was unhappy with Chris. And even then, his priority was her happiness. They were each other's first choice : that's what made it so scary. Tim stayed with Ashley because he thought Lucy rejected him. And Lucy stayed because she was afraid to lose Tim. Ashley and Chris were, for a want of a better word, the consolation prize. Tim and Lucy didn't want to risk losing what they had, but had no problem gambling with their respective relationships when she invited him in...

Ta-Dam! We made it to the end... I promise it tried to keep it short (kind of failed). So those are my main thoughts and perspective on the topic. And again, it might be different but it doesn't make yours any less valid.

[snailor-bee]

Marco x NB!Reader / SFW  / 2.1k Summary: Marco is finally going to confess to you! If only it would stop going wrong... Notes: Written for @op-xreader-zine! All the art is done by the amazing @issatheartist thank you for working with me on this! ;w;

This was it! Marco was finally going to do it. He was going to walk up to you and confess. 

He'd been crushing on you for a while now and it was time. He'd dealt with the teasing from his brothers and the nurses for far too long. Originally Marco had held himself back because he hadn't wanted to ruin what the two of you already had. 

Friends, nakama, family. 

Still, everyone had insisted that he go for it and had completely ignored his reasonings for maybe why he shouldn't—"Marco, you can't seriously use your rank as an excuse; the only person higher than you is Pops"—so that's how he found his hands sweating, wrapped around a bouquet of flowers. 

Maybe it was a bit simple but at this point, Marco figured it was better than nothing. His head felt like a jumbled mess and he hadn't really planned out how he was going to do this but he'd wing it as he went along, all Marco had to do was find you and—

So distracted by his thoughts, he bounced off someone's body made a little oof of pain. 

"Marco!" Izou's voice broke through his thoughts. "Watch where you're going. What are you doing?" 

"I, uh," he couldn't bring himself to say it. Izou was the ship's gossip and if Marco said he was looking for you in order to confess then you'd hear about it before Marco even got to you. Sweat beaded at his brow as Izou's sharp gaze took him in. Uncharacteristically, Marco knew he looked nervous. 

Which might as well have been blood in the water for a shark, when one was dealing with Izou. 

Then all at once, Izou's posture softened and he smiled. "Are those for me?? For my birthday!? Oh, you shouldn't have, these are my favorite too!" Still gushing, Izou grabbed the bouquet and Marco was too stunned to stop him. 

"A-ah, yes. I was worried you wouldn't like them, yoi," he said, going for a smile. It was a bit strained but Izou didn't seem to notice. Marco cursed himself internally. He'd been so focused on the almost-not-quite-confession, Izou's birthday had completely slipped his mind. 

"No, they're perfect ," Izou enthused happily and Marco sighed fondly, letting the anxiety of confronting you fade. He could always do it later. 

The next 'attempt' wasn't really an attempt. 

Marco had been walking down a street when his inner phoenix noticed a section of smooth rocks. Without too much thought, he reached out and snatched one up. He frequently did this; the drawers in his office were filled with random bits and bobs, shiny pieces of metal, rocks, and other random things that appealed to his phoenix half for whatever reason. Marco never mentioned it to anyone but a few of his brothers who had been around him for years had picked up on it, though they were kind enough not to point it out. 

So, without much thought, when he saw you chatting with some other shipmates, Marco ambled over and handed you the rock. "Here, for you." 

You raised a brow and looked into your palm before running your thumb over the stone's surface, feeling out the texture. 

Inside, his phoenix cooed and Marco was grateful he wasn't in his half-form. He could tell that his tails would be going wild right about now, watching your reaction.

"...Thanks," you said at last, sounding confused before you pocketed the rock and turned back to listen to the story that Ace had been in the process of telling. It didn't deter Marco at all, you had accepted it! 

Feeling thrilled somewhere deep in his bones, he barely felt the jab to his ribs. 

"Hey," Thatch whispered, "you know they aren't a bird, right?" 

Confused, Marco cocked his head. Thatch gestured at you with his chin. "They probably don't know why you just handed them a rock. Shouldn't you be doing more, uh, human courting stuff?" 

There was a few seconds of incomprehension before the meaning hit him and Marco felt like dissolving into dust and disappearing forever. He leaned over to bury his head into Thatch's shoulder to cover up the sound of his groan of pain as his brother laughed and patted his back. 

"Don't worry, you'll get them next time, birdie." 

Next time ended up being a love letter. 

Old fashioned? Maybe. But Marco was getting desperate. At least this would be crystal clear. 

He'd gone through numerous editions. The trash can in his room was overflowing with failed attempts, bunched up balls of paper scattered around his desk as he tried again and again until he finally felt he had it all down. 

Exactly what about you that made him smile, how the simple sight of you lifted his spirits and the sound of your laugh made his chest tight. He'd bared it all. 

Walking across the busy deck, the night breeze ruffling his hair, Marco was barely able to return the greetings he got as he passed by scattered groups. He'd locked eyes with you right away and once you noticed him coming, you'd said your goodbyes and were coming to meet him halfway. 

The closer and closer the two of you got, the more and more nervous Marco became. The butterflies in his stomach were making him feel like he might throw up. What if you didn't return his feelings? What if you thought the letter was lame? 

What if you went to read it right away? Oh fuck , he hadn't thought this through. He didn't want to watch your face as you read the confession, heartfelt though it may be. If you had to turn him down after he poured his heart onto the parchment, Marco really didn't know how he was going to take that. 

Saying it to your face, letting you turn him down gently without realizing the true depths of his feeling was way more appealing. 

His step faltered before a rush of heat flashed beside him. On instinct he tossed the letter into the roar of fire. Ace was likely showing off and didn't even notice the slight disturbance. 

"What was that?" you asked, finally having made your way to him. 

"Nothing," Marco said quickly. "Someone did their report so badly, so I had a bunch of corrections but thinking it over I realized I'll just have them redo it. Makes it easier, yoi." 

You laughed. "Harsh. I'd hate to be them, putting in all that work for nothing." 

Marco shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "Yeah but I'm sure they'll get over it." 

"Wow, Marco, you're not very good at this are you?" Ace asked with a snicker. Marco glared, fork paused midway to his mouth. Thatch elbowed him good-naturedly from his side. They were sitting in the galley, the shipmates talking around them creating a symphony of noise that easily hid the conversation from others. 

"Good at what, yoi?" Marco asked, placing the fork down. Thatch threw an arm around his shoulders and shook him lightly as Ace's eyes sharpened with glee. 

"Now Ace," Thatch said, mockingly sweet, "don't go teasing our resident birdbrain here. He's trying so hard, the poor thing." 

"Get off," Marco said, irritated as he pushed at Thatch until he let him go, laughing. 

"Think they've even noticed?" Ace asked thoughtfully before shoving something into his mouth and chewing loudly. 

Marco opened his mouth to answer but Thatch beat him to it. "Hopefully not, though Marco looking so pathetic has been quite amusing." Thatch batted away his hand before Marco could punch him in the ribs, the bastard. 

Grunting with annoyance, Marco looked away just in time to catch you several tables away leaning your head back with a laugh and he stared, heart suddenly in his throat. He couldn't help it, you were just so—

"Plus the whole ships been taking bets at this point," Thatch tacked on and Marco tore his gaze away from you. 

"What?!" Marco demanded as Ace hooted joyfully. Thatch shrugged, grinning all the while.

"Maybe you shouldn't look like a lovesick bird all the time and we wouldn't have to take bets on when you finally get your act together. Do not" —Thatch pointed a steak knife menacingly in Ace's direction after a garbled noise had started— "talk with your mouth full. Swallow." 

Dutifully, Ace swallowed his barely chewed food and took a second to catch his breath before barrelling on, "Whatcha got planned next, Marco? Anything good?" 

"Excuse me? All my ideas have been fine so far!" Two blank looks had his hackles raising but before he could argue more, your voice rang out. 

"Hey, Marco!" Immediately he whipped his head up and caught your eye. You waved before you arrived behind Ace, patting him on the shoulder. "I was wondering if we could spar later?" 

Quickly, he nodded back. "Yeah, that sounds great!" Embarrassingly, he heard his voice hit a slightly higher pitch, almost as if his voice had cracked. Ace and Thatch did a terrible job at stifling their giggles as Marco felt his face flush traitorously. 

"Great!" you enthused, apparently having not noticed. "See you after lunch?" 

Not trusting his voice, he nodded and you skipped away happily. Once you were far enough away, Ace and Thatch collapsed into loud laughter, Ace banging on the table as Thatch wheezed out between his laughs, "What are you Marco, twelve ?? What was that?!" 

"I hate both of you," Marco grit out between clenched teeth before shoving his half finished tray of food at Ace. "Finish this, I'm leaving, yoi." 

"Good luck on your dateeee," Ace managed to yell out before he got too far away. Marco flipped him off over his shoulder. 

"So, Marco." You looked uncharacteristically anxious as you fidgeted and looked at everything except him. Marco felt his stomach drop to the deck. What was wrong? You hadn't... noticed had you? Fuck, this was not how he wanted you to find out. 

He'd come to find you for your spar after Ace and Thatch had literally laughed him out of the galley. You'd seemed eager enough to see him before dragging him to a quiet part of the deck, mentioning you had something to say first. 

Seemingly steeling your nerves, you looked into his eyes and they burned with determination. 

"I've liked you for a really long time now. You're literally one of my best friends and more than that you make me feel like I can fly, like nothing could ever hurt me. I didn't really want to mention this and have it ruin our friendship but I can't keep it to myself anymore. Please go on a date with me!" 

Time seemed like it stood still as he gaped at you. He could see your cheeks flush, likely with embarrassment at your proclamation but he was still reeling. 

Finally, you swallowed. "And if you don't feel the same—" 

"No!" he cut in, finally finding his voice. Marco grabbed up your hands, cradling them close. "No, don't. Just, I—" He chuckled with wry amusement before pressing a chaste kiss to your knuckles. "I'm just a little shocked. I've been trying to ask you out for ages now." 

"Wait, really?" you asked, mouth dropping open. He nodded with a smile. There was a strange buzzing in his body, from his toes up to the tips of his ears. Everything felt a little fuzzy, a little warm. He wanted to run around the deck like a teenager again, grab you close and never let go, scream over the railing until he ran out of breath. So many different emotions were raging through him, he was beginning to feel dizzy from the weight of all of them. 

Deciding to just pick one, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close into his chest, breathing in your scent as he began to chuckle lowly. You joined in and soon the two of you were full-out laughing. When you separated, he brushed a hand against your cheek reverently, giddy that he was able to do so. 

"To be honest," Marco began, "I don't think I can spar right now, I feel like my knees are made of jell-o." 

You laughed again. "That's okay, I'm feeling the same. Wanna go tell Pops instead?" 

Marco ran a hand through his hair, before smiling at you. "Sure. We're about to get the teasing of a lifetime." 

You held out a hand and he took it, fingers twining together with yours like they were meant to be. 

"We may as well get started," you said back, fondness shining in your eyes and maybe, just maybe, a hint of something more.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The Right Place in Time

Summary: What if Steve was in the woods with Chrissy and Eddie getting weed for his headaches?

@disrespectedgoatman @estrellami-1 @darkrose517

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Eddie's POV

Eddie was cursing himself every way under the sun. This was so stupid. This wasn't going to work, but he'd rather be in custody than be dead, and even these idiots wouldn't try to kill him around a bunch of cops. Hopefully. His stomach churned at the thought of Fred's body twisted up like that. . .that it could have happened to Chrissy. . .that it still could happen to her. It could happen to Steve, too, and to Max. They needed to find a way to stop Vecna, and in order to do that, they needed these goons out of their way.

Eddie was driving faster than he had ever done in his life, and he was always pretty risky with his driving. They were getting close to him now, almost catching up with him. Now he was cursing his stupid piece of crap van. They were going to catch up to him, and they were going to kill him. It was like a punch to the gut. The image of his uncle crying over his body and that once again, he had let him down. He had disappointed him just like his father had done so many times. No, he wasn't going to be like his fucking father. Eddie screamed as he pressed his foot so hard against the gas petal, tears falling down his cheeks as he let out a furious sob. He pulled into the parking lot of the police station and spilled out onto the pavement as he climbed out of the van, his legs shaking. It was Officer Moore who found him.

"Munson?"

"They're going to kill me," Eddie cried.

Jason's car screeched into the parking lot, and the jocks stepped out. It seems as though they were stupid enough to still be carrying their weapons.

"Gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to put your weapons down," Officer Moore said as he put his hand on his gun.

"You don't understand, officer. Munson is a monster! He killed Fred, and he broke Chrissy's arm with the power of his mind," Jason said.

"Isn't he a third time senior?" Officer Moore asked.

"Yeah," Jason said.

"So you're telling me that he killed someone with the power of his mind?" Officer Moore asked. "His mind?"

"Man's got a point. I am a little dense," Eddie said.

"I know what I saw, Officer!" Jason screeched.

"I think what happened here is that your girlfriend left you for Munson, and some poor innocent kid got caught in your crossfire!" Officer Moore yelled. "Put. Your. Weapons. Down. NOW!"

"He's a killer!" Jason screamed.

Moore pulled out his gun and pointed it at Jason, as he radioed for backup.

"Munson is a lot of things, but he's no killer. I know because despite everything, when I got shot, he could have left me to bleed to death, but instead, he let his father place the blame on his shoulders and walk away while doing everything he could do to save my life," Officer Moore said. "Put your weapons down now!'

Chief Powell and the other police officers came running out of the station. They pointed their guns at the jocks who had no choice but to put their weapons down. They were quickly put in handcuffs.

"Man, Patrick was right in saying no to you," Connor growled as they handcuffed him. "You're fucking crazy, Carver."

Officer Moore waited until they were all inside and helped Eddie up.

"You're not under arrest, kid, but you're going to have to come inside for questioning," Officer Moore said.

The questioning didn't last as long as he thought it would, especially because most of the jocks threw Jason under the bus. The only who remained loyal to Jason was Andy, but Eddie figured that it was because Andy was crazy himself. Eddie was walking out of the station just as Wayne was about to walk in.

"Boy, you weren't at the trailer this morning, and I was about to send out a search party when they called me to come down here," Wayne said.

Phil Callahan and Chief Powell, along with another squad car, pulled out of the station's driveway. Their sirens wailed. Eddie figured they were probably headed to the driveway. He turned away from them and looked back at his uncle.

"Shit, everything happened so fast. I meant to call you this morning. Chrissy's arm got broken last night, and then I was at the hospital with her, and then I went with her to her uncle's house. Steve was there, too, as well as her cousin, Vickie, and Steve's friend, Robin. Jason thought that I had broken Chrissy's arm, but I did not! He gave me a black eye and tore off part of my eyebrow," Eddie rambled on.

"Hold up, slow down, son," Wayne said. "Is this Chrissy girl your fiancee?"

"Oh God, you heard about that?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, sure did," Wayne said.

"That's just a misunderstanding. We're just dating. . .me, Chrissy, and Steve Harrington," Eddie said.

"You happy about that?" Wayne asked.

"We haven't even gone on a first date yet, but yeah, pretty happy," Eddie said.

"Good," he said softly. "Tell me about the dead kid."

"I don't think you're gonna believe me," Eddie said.

"Try me," Wayne said.

"Okay, well, not here. Let's get in the van," Eddie said.

Eddie knew he probably shouldn't be telling Wayne this, but after the incident with Al, he didn't want to keep anything from him again. So, he crawled into the van while Wayne got into the passenger's side and told Wayne everything. When he finished, Wayne was silent and staring straight ahead.

"Things have always been weird in this town, even since Victor Creel," Wayne said, after a long silence.

"Victor Creel?" Eddie asked.

"He's the one who killed his family and gouged out their eyes in 1959. Eventually, he tried to do the same thing to himself, cut out his eyes, that is. He's still up in Pennhurst," Wayne said.

"Fred's eyes. . .they were. . .," Eddie trailed off. "Do you think Victor escaped?"

"Don't know. I figured we would have heard something if we had," Wayne frowned. "You kids are dealing with this stuff without any adults?"

"Well, they did have Hopper before, but he died, and Joyce Byers moved to California. Technically, Steve, Chrissy, Nancy, Robin, and I are adults," Eddie said.

"Only legally," he said with a snort. "Jesus."

"Oh, and there's this weird reporter dude who lives in Illinois who lives in like a bunker," Eddie said.

Wayne sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'd rip out my hair, but I want to keep what's left of it," he said. "Probably going to fall out anyway. What's the plan here?"

"Well, we find out where this guy's projecting from, and then we kill him," Eddie said.

"This guy is using his mind to kill people, and you think a bunch of kids are going to take him down?" Wayne asked.

"Yeah, I really didn't want to be the one to question it," Eddie winced. "Besides, our plan so far involved finding his other victims, and we did that. Unfortunately, we were unable to save Fred, so we need to stop this guy as soon as possible before it gets to Steve, Chrissy, and Max."

"That girl's been through enough," Wayne said sighing. "How did Chrissy snap out of it?"

"She heard me and Vickie scream," he frowned.

"So, maybe it's her connection to you both combined that did it. Is Vickie this cousin you mentioned?" Wayne asked.

"Yeah, they grew up together," Eddie replied.

"You knew Chrissy since that talent show. I remember you couldn't stop talking about her," Wayne said. "Eddie, what's always been something you've been able to connect with?"

"D&D?" Eddie asked.

"Well, you can't do a whole campaign, son," he said. "It has to be quick, right?"

"Oh, music!" Eddie exclaimed and looked thoughtfully at him. "So, maybe if we find out what their favorite song is. . . "

"When you were a baby, that was always what used to get through to you when you were upset about something," Wayne said.

"I guess this means you're involved now, too?" Eddie asked.

"Like hell I'm letting you kids do this on your own," Wayne scowled.

A knocking on the window startled the both of them, but only Eddie screamed. Dustin's excited face pressed up against the glass.

Chapter Nine

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai x Odasaku!Sister

Chapter 2 "I Could Really Go For Some Curry"

Summary: After Dazai lost the previous bet, he is now officially Odasaku's little sister's boyfriend. But does she really know what she's asking for? How could she want to date a demon?

Warning: Self destructing Dazai, Odasaku death mentions, slight bsd wan content mention, manipulative behavior from both sides. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter two of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. )

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long) Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 5k

----

Walking down the long port mafia corridors, Dazai placed his hands inside of his pockets before tuning out the world around him in order to fully envelop himself in his own dark thoughts. 

Last night's events appeared a moment later, causing the boy’s eyes to narrow with distasteful memory. He didn’t mean to agree to Odasaku’s sister's foolish request for him to be her boyfriend, it just sort of happened in the moment. 

And the longer he got from that moment, the more Dazai Osamu regretted it. 

Now don’t be mistaken, it wasn’t like he actually cared about the girl. The mafioso knew he was incapable of such a thing. Sure, he was enticed but it was surface level at best. The truth was, if she was anyone else Dazai would’ve already broken her for fun. 

But it was the fact that she was Odasaku’s sister that made him hold back from such a desire. He knew deep down that his old friend wouldn’t have wanted her to be destroyed, especially by his fingers. Hell, the boy knew he wouldn’t have wanted Dazai anywhere near her. 

That’s what Ango said, why Oda had kept her a secret, why he kept her out of Yokohama and by giving into her request he knew he was already dishonoring his memory in the worst possible way. 

But try as he may, Dazai just couldn’t walk away, knowing that a piece of his precious found family was still here in this world. He had wished for it, craved it with his entire soul as he grieved his death. 

And like a miracle, Asagao had appeared to answer his prayer. 

That’s why he agreed, it wasn’t because of her, it wasn’t because he had grown a heart suddenly, it was to use her. It was to keep Odasaku in his life no matter how small. 

He was selfish, so unbelievably selfish, wanting more than he deserved.

But even the brutal port mafia executive knew that his reasonings were fucked up. He knew that he shouldn’t be manipulating such a pure soul into his own whims. But how else was he supposed to do it? Dazai only knew how to exploit and control.

Pushing his fingers to his chin in silent thought, Dazai paused his steps. He supposed he could play the part of a devolved lover while using her. That’s what she wanted anyways, right? She did ask him to be her boyfriend. But how could he do that without being manipulative and underhanded in order to not shame Odasaku?

He then thought back to his past “relationships” before frowning to himself. Now that he mentioned it, the boy never did anything besides that. He always just used women when he saw fit and left them crying once he was finished with his physical needs.

Well that wasn’t gonna work. 

Damn it, being a good person was harder than he thought. 

Although that’s when a familiar voice broke through his personal bubble as a flash of annoying orange crossed his vision. “Hey, shitty Dazai. What are you doing standing in the damn way like that? You finally figure out how insufferable you are?” 

Already feeling a sense of dread in his throat, Dazai then looked up from his solitude in order to focus on his idiot partner in front of him. And just like that, any deep thought flew from his mind in order to participate in his favorite activity. 

Pissing the kid off. “Wooow, that’s a big word for you Chuuya, I didn't know you had it in you, considering you’re so small..”

Already seeing his eyes twitch in response, Chuuya’s face filled with anger in order to reach forward and grab onto Dazai’s jacket with a rough shout. “Ha?! I dare you, say that to me again jackass and see what happens!!” 

The boy only smirked though, enjoying the pure reaction he got. Chuuya never failed to bring him entertainment. He was the best toy around. Every word that got under his skin was like music to the demon’s ears.

And although he wouldn’t ever admit it, Dazai knew that his partner brought life to the boring mediocrity of his sad pathetic life, if only for a moment. They were the closest thing each other had to the term “friends”, in a fucked up, manipulative, forced to be together kinda way. 

Yet even so, Dazai couldn’t help but enjoy poking fun at the boy. Perhaps it was because Chuuya was so human to him while he was the opposite? 

Turning his head up in challenge, Dazai then indeed dared. “What, am I too tall for you to understand me the first time? Can’t hear me all the way from up here, Chuuya? Or should I say petite mafia?” 

Then all at once, Dazai reveled in the boy’s face, his eyes practically bulging from his skin as he tightened his grip on the bandaged boy with unmatched fury. “P-Petite?! Who are you calling petite, you social misfit!”

Shaking the boy around a couple times, Chuuya then seemed to realize the manipulation before roughly letting go of his shitty partner with an aggravated sigh. “God, the first thing I have to see once I get back is your shitty face? Talk about bad luck.” 

Dazai only nodded in response though, his shoulders moving in a disgruntled shrug. “You’re telling me. I was enjoying my day until you came along and ruined it.”

And for once, it seemed like the boy’s agreed on something, Chuuya’s eyes immediately moving past the bandaged annoyance in order to shove his hands into his pockets. “Well that makes two of us, shitty mackerel. Now get out of my way. I gotta go inform the boss about the mission. Do me a favor and go kill yourself while I’m gone.” 

Yet that’s when Dazai’s eyes sparkled with pure joy for his partner’s dark request, lifting his hands up in an excited and bubbly wave. “Say less!” 

Realizing his words had the opposite effect, Chuuya then paused for a moment before closing his eyes with an exasperated mutter. “Such a pain in my ass, I swear.” 

Of course he’d be happy about that kinda request, the sick bastard. 

And as Chuuya started to leave, Dazai couldn’t help but lower his eyes in silent thought. What would his partner say to Odasaku’s odd request to be good? Would he laugh at him, would he tell him that it was impossible? The boy didn’t know. 

Chuuya was always so real and human, surely he would be able to treat Oda’s sister with the care that she deserved. If he was in Dazai’s position the boy would’ve probably had a million ideas on how to go about Asagao’s ridiculous request. 

But he wasn’t Chuuya, he wasn’t human, he was something else entirely. 

Something wrong.

Dazai knew he didn’t have the capacity or ability to carefully hold Odasaku’s greatest treasure between his fingers and not crush her. He was inadequate and insufficient in every possible way.  

Allowing his voice to escape a moment later, Dazai turned towards the red haired kid slowly. “Hey Chuuya..” 

The boy only expected another insult though, his shoulders immediately going rigid in order to turn back with a high pitched short. “What?!” 

And for a moment, Dazai remained silent, willing the words to his mind. How do I be good? How can I honor Odasaku’s wish when I’m so defective? How can I be more human like you?

Pushing his lips together in order to suck in a heavy breath, the boy then dropped his hands before giving Chuuya a tight forced smile. “Nothing, never mind.” 

Chuuya paused at that though, his head turning at the strange new atmosphere only for Dazai to add playfully. “I was just going to say that your outfit today is super tacky. Where did you get it from again? The emo bargain bin?” 

Then all at once, all the concern seemingly drained from Chuuya’s face in order for it to be replaced by pure visceral hatred. “You..that’s it you bandaged wearing freak! I’m gonna make you regret that!!” 

And as he watched Chuuya stalk over to him in order to wash the unpleasant feelings and emotions from his mind the boy smiled bitterly. Who was he kidding? He could never ask such a ridiculous thing. 

Dazai knew the answer already anyways. 

He knew that anything other than this was impossible for him. 

Asagao would be disappointed in him also, just like he knew Odasaku was. 

-----

Humming to herself, Asagao skipped through the kitchen, mentally making a checklist of everything in her mind before turning towards the clock on the left in order to physically jump and try to hype herself up. 

It was almost time, everything had to be perfect.

The girl then frowned to herself in order to place a hand to her head in confusion. There was something she was missing. But what could it be? It’s like it was on the tip of her tongue. 

Rubbing her face, Asagao’s face then lit up with realization before quickly grabbing the large framed glasses by the counter in order to shove them back on her face.Then all at once, the familiar blurry sight reappeared like magic causing her to sigh in relief.

Ah, that was a close one.

The last thing she wanted was to ruin this with her freakish clever eyes.

Just then, she heard the doorbell ring only for Asagao to quickly hurry to the surface and throw it open with an excited gasp as she beamed. “Osu! There you are! You really came back! Ah, I’m so happy! Come in, come in, make yourself at home!” 

The boy himself felt rather whiplashed by the sudden joy, his fingers reaching up to the doorframe and leaning forward with a cocky smirk in order to invade her personal space. “Ah, Asa-chan. You missed me that much? I’m flattered, really.”  

He expected her to blush at the distance yet the girl only nodded her head like the answer was obvious to her. “Of course! I’ve been thinking about it all day. This is the first time someone’s actually come back when promised they would. Why wouldn’t I be happy about that?” 

Her words were rather sad but it didn’t show on her face, causing Dazai’s eyes to watch her curiously. It was like she didn’t allow the reality of her words to fully register inside her brain. Was that some kind of coping mechanism or something? It certainly seemed like it. 

She did that a lot, with Odasaku’s death and now with that depressing revelation. 

So much so, Dazai couldn’t help but tease her about it, not knowing how to do anything else. Sure, a good person would’ve felt pity or tried to reassure her about it, but that wasn’t something that the boy was capable of. 

Turning his head in fake sympathy, he mocked. “What a pitiful little thing you are, darling. I bet you were so lonely back home, what with no friends or family. My heart is bleeding for you.”

He hit her where it hurt, knowing that it would garner a reaction of some sort. Perhaps once she realized who she was letting into her home then she would rethink this entire ridiculous agreement and run away like she should’ve in the first place. 

Yet Dazai was certainly surprised when Asagao replied a moment later with absolutely no annoyance or sadness. No, she only looked rather unbothered about it. “Your bet is correct! To put it plainly, everyone back home hated me. The minute I stopped masking and took off my glasses they ran for the hills!” 

He then watched in stunned silence as she gave a carefree girlish giggle of unbothered misery in order to turn around from Dazai and walk back into Odaskau’s old apartment. “Now what are we standing out here for? Come on, the foods gonna get cold if we wait anymore..” 

Watching her disappear into the room, the boy couldn’t help but remain quiet, feeling his fingers fall from the doorframe and down by his side. He thought for sure she’d get mad at him or cry about his little comment. 

But it was just like before, she didn’t register his words, like her mind didn’t allow her to. 

Damn it, she was the complete opposite of Chuuya. She wasn’t hot headed or pathetically reactive. This was new territory, something he wasn’t used to at all. 

Because of that, the mafioso then frowned before forcing himself into the familiar apartment with unsure and uneasy steps. He didn’t like this, the feeling of not being in control. He needed to get it back and fast. 

Yet the further he got into Odasaku’s place, he felt his heart twist with familiar pain and grief. The ghosts of the past were back, circling around him as he reluctantly sat at his usual place, his fingers touching the cold wooden table with a sigh. 

It was just before, everything felt empty here. 

Although that’s when the fifteen year old looked up only to find a steaming bowl of curry in front of him as his eyes couldn’t help but widen in memory, recalling Odasaku’s last words to him. 

Holding on for dear life, Dazai felt his knuckles turn white as he watched his only friend, the only man who understood him slip from life. “People live to save themselves, it’s something they realize before they die, huh?” 

Then the boy watched as Oda’s lips formed into a small smile as his eyes fluttered close, his voice hoarse and hauntingly final. “I could really go..for some..curry..”

Blinking back to reality, Dazai stared at the seemingly mundane dish before his fingers curled against the table with unexplainable emotion. And if the boy knew how to cry or even what that concept was, he knew he’d be sobbing at this very moment. 

Luckily though, the suffocating feeling was overtaken when Asagao slid into the spot across from him before smiling happily in order to pick up her chopsticks. “I hope you don’t mind, Oda’s letters didn’t say what your favorite food was so I just picked mine. Ah, I’m so excited. I could really go for some curry right now.” 

And the moment the words left her lips, Dazai’s head immediately snapped up with anxious desperation he couldn’t hide. She had just said the same thing Odasaku did, she just said his last words. Didn’t she know the weight they had?  

Just hearing them again, it felt like he was here right now. It was like his best friend was telling the boy that he was still around in her eyes. It was overwhelming, the empty hole inside his heart suddenly becoming full with a feeling he thought was lost the day he died. 

Asa seemed to notice his silence though, her head turning in concern. “Do you not like curry? Ah, sorry, I didn’t ask first. If you tell me what you like I can make it next time. I’m a pretty good cook, you know?” 

Dazai only shook his head though, feeling the very familiar fifteen year old pathetic kid overtake him in order to whisper back a sad broken reply. “N-No…I like it…” 

And thankfully, Asagao didn’t point out the uncharacteristic tone, her head only nodding in confirmation before changing the subject, something that Dazai was incredibly grateful for. 

Mostly because he knew he was falling apart by the second. “Since you’re here, I thought we could talk about our agreement last night. Like go into specifics and such..” 

Shoving down the unruly emotion in his throat, the boy recalled back to his statement before pushing his head up with forced interest. What was she talking about, what did she want him to do? Because whatever it was Dazai knew she was looking in the wrong place. 

A loyal boyfriend, a lovesick fool, a cheesy romantic? Yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen. Sure, he could fake those kinds of things but only for so long. She was so passionate about wanting him last night. What a delusional girl. 

He already knew he wouldn’t be able to offer anything of value. 

Turning his head in fake flirty intent, Dazai lowered his eyes sensually, hoping it would make her uncomfortable. “Specifics? Ah, Asa-chan you're so dirty. What did you have in mind?” 

Asa only put her hand up in response though, stopping whatever depravity he was implying. “Now, I don’t want you to be mistaken, I know I asked you to be my boyfriend but I wouldn’t expect you to do any of that mushy touchy stuff or anything like that. I know that’s not your style anyways and I don’t wanna force you into something uncomfortable.” 

At that, the boy couldn’t help but drop the act, his eyes turning in confusion. What? If she didn’t want that mushy crap then why did she even ask for all this in the first place? She said that she had fallen for him. Was that a lie?

Although that’s when Asagao shrugged her shoulders plainly. “I mean let’s be honest here, the only reason you're here is because you’re using me.”

Feeling his fingers pause on his chopsticks, Dazai paused in order to look up at her innocently in order to try to fool her. “Oh, am I?” 

Asa wasn’t fooled though, the girl only humming back. “Mhmm. I’m useful to you because I’m related to Oda and if I was anyone else you wouldn’t have ever agreed.” 

Then all at once, Dazai felt his stomach drop in guilt for his own black soul.

Shit, she had read him. She had seen through his real intentions so quickly. Well of course she did, Odasaku did say that her world spun as fast as his. But then that begged the question, if Asagao knew about his cruel intent, why was she still humoring him?

He received his answer a moment later, watching as Asagao simply placed her chopsticks down in order to turn her eyes back at him with cruel and calculating vigor. 

“Ah, don’t worry about it. If you must know, I’m using you also, Osamu.” 

And even though her eyes were blocked by the large rimmed glasses on her face, Dazai already knew what kind of expression was underneath. She was looking at him just like last night back in that alley. He remembered it in an instant. 

That cruel hollow look she showed him before, it was the same now. He knew it was.

It was like she was eying some kind of prey, and unlucky for him Dazai seemed to be the one on the menu today. So they both had plans to use each other? That was her play? How interesting. 

Allowing her to continue, Asagao then lifted her hands up before speaking with precise precision. “We both want what each other can offer. We both are searching for my brother in different ways and think we can find it in each other. That’s why I suggested our partnership in the first place. Because it would be mutually beneficial.” 

Twisting her lips into a sly calculating smirk, Asagao then placed her fingers underneath her chin in order to lean forward and finish. “Besides, once I found out how connected you two were, I knew I wasn’t going to let you go. I’m sure it’s the same for you, right, Osu?” 

And it was, it was the exact same, so much so that he didn’t want to admit it. Odasaku was right, they did have the same minds. They both saw each other as chess pieces on a board and collected each other for their own personal games. 

They both had plans to use each other in order to will Oda Sakunosuke back to life. 

So much so, Dazai felt his entire tone shift, allowing the demon prodigy to overtake the conversation and his eyes to darken with sickening glee. “Ah, you got me Asa-chan. Nothing gets past you, does it? What do you suggest then? What can you offer to me?”

Asagao didn’t seem to mind though, her entire demeanor calm even though she was making a deal with the devil. “You come over every once in a while and tell me stories about my brother and in exchange I’ll show you a letter in return for each one. That way we both keep him in our lives.” 

Waving her hand away, the calculating aura then dissipated slightly in order to smile sweetly in the direction of his hollow empty eyes. “And once I stop becoming useful to you then you are free to throw me away and move on. Although, I do ask that when you decide to do so, you don’t tell me. I absolutely despise endings. I like to live more in the moment then think about the horrors of the future.” 

Her offer was tempting to say the least, with it he would be able to use the girl as he pleased for his own desire while she did the same. He wouldn’t have to change his underhanded and manipulative ways because Asagao would be fully aware of what he was trying to do. 

It seemed perfect, too perfect actually. Was Odasaku’s sister really okay with them using each other and then throwing them away when the time was up? Sure, he would be able to do it no problem but Dazai wasn’t sure about her.

What if in doing so he managed to crush her accidentally? He didn’t trust himself not to. Not at all. Hell, Dazai knew the damage he could do if left to his own devices. 

Pushing his hand underneath his chin in silent thought, the boy’s lethally dangerous gaze then followed her as he made his way around the table and into her space.“And what if I shatter your poor little heart in the process? Like I said, I’m not a good man, sweetheart. I know you said you’d be fine with me breaking you, but have you really thought about what that really means?” 

Yet try as he may, Asagao was not shaken, her shoulders simply shrugging to his very obvious threat in order to turn and meet him halfway. “If you’re trying to scare me it’s not going to work.”

The boy only hummed though, his fingers reaching forward in order to trail a calculating line across her cheek. “Isn’t it? What if I told you that your big brother wouldn’t approve of you hanging around me so much?” 

And for a moment, Asagao froze, but it wasn’t because of his touch, her eyes moving down before answering back less confident than before.  “.. I don’t believe that. My brother wouldn’t have written about you so much if he didn’t want me to know about you.” 

She believed that with her whole heart, knowing that Oda’s letters held so much love and care for the fifteen year old boy. If her brother didn’t want her to find Osu then he wouldn’t have ever said anything. 

He must have known how much it meant to her, to have someone to relate to after so many years. Of course she’d never actually know though, considering Asa never had the opportunity to ask him. Everything was just an assumption, but this was one assumption she was actually confident about. 

Dazai didn’t seem to think so though, Ango’s poisonous warnings still fresh in his ears. 

“You asked why Oda never mentioned her to you. It’s because destruction and corruption follows you everywhere, Dazai. He knew how black your soul is and what you could do to her if given the chance. The demon prodigy has no place out of the darkness, and I'm sure you know that also.”

He knew his best friend more than anyone, even more than her. Of course he didn’t want Dazai near her. If he did then he would’ve told him about her years ago. And here he was, dishonoring his memory because he was too god damn selfish to live in a world without him. 

So much so, he urged for her to understand how wrong she was. 

Trailing his fingers down, Dazai then darkened before latching his thumb and forefingers onto her chin in order to force her head towards his with a rough display. He felt the tips of his nails dig into her pretty pink cheeks in order to dip his head down until they were mere inches apart. 

Then all at once, the port mafia executive allowed every bit of evil to show in his eyes before speaking cruelly across the space just above her lips with a cruel hovering smile. “Yes, but hearing about me and actually being here are two completely different things, darling. I’m sure Odasaku didn’t expect you to be near so much danger so willingly, so eager to give yourself to the darkness.” 

He left her there in the madness, in that helpless controlless position, waiting for her to break away or cry for his rough movements. No, she needed to walk away, she needed to go because he wasn't going to. He didn’t have the strength to do something so kind. 

Feeling his fingers dig further into her flesh with unsaid desperation, Asagao’s lips then began to move between the space underneath his, her breath coating the distance as she spoke. “You don’t have to do this, Osamu. I already understand. I understand that you don’t want to lose the last piece of my big brother you have left. You’re scared, scared that you’ll be left with nothing again..” 

Dazai's eyes then flashed with anxiety before pulling away only slightly in order to see Asagao’s warm reassuring smile. “Have some faith in me, Osu. I’m not as fragile as you might think.” 

Feeling his heart twist and turn in every single unpleasant direction, his fingers started to turn numb between her skin. She already knew what he was trying to do, she knew he was giving her a way out and still wasn’t taking it. 

That’s when Dazai felt his entire body tense as he felt her fingers reach forwards in order to cover his hand with her own before closing her eyes in equal emotion to what he was feeling. 

And when she spoke, it was so sincere and honest, shaking him to his entire core. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Almost immediately, he felt his fingers snap back from hers, not liking the close contact before he leaned away with wide eyes. What was she saying?

 Touching someone else was child’s play for him but he never liked it when someone did it back. It was too vulnerable, too exposed. And it was the same here, the boy trying his best not to show the pure panic on his face.  

What she just said, she didn’t mean it anyways. She couldn't have. Everyone always disappeared from him, everything eventually slipped through his fingers. How dare she make such a ridiculous promise. How dare she give him hope that it will be different this time. 

It wasn’t different with Odasaku and it won’t be different with his precious little sister. 

Because of that, Dazai’s voice couldn’t help but come out bitter, knowing better than anyone how unfair the world was to him. “You don't know that.” 

Asa then paused before putting a finger to her lips in silent thought before answering back with a nod of understanding. “Well no, I guess I don’t. I can’t predict the future or anything. But why do we gotta think that far ahead? Why can’t we just enjoy the time we have right now?” 

Oda’s sister then closed her eyes before thinking about the meaning of her own words. Perhaps Osamu was right, perhaps things would turn out bad for them in the end. But if that was the price she had to pay to finally get closer to her brother, she knew she would gladly take it tenfold. 

Besides, if there was a possibility of things ending horribly then that meant there was also a possibility that things could do the opposite. And whether it was foolish or not, Asagao chose to focus on the impossible odds that this could work out okay. 

Then she opened her eyes before smiling softly. “For today, all you have to worry about is being yourself and I’ll do the same. It’s as simple as that.” 

Picking up her chopsticks once more, Asagao then beamed before purposely changing the subject before he could disagree with her positive statement. “Now go on, tell me a story about my brother. I’m dying to hear one!” 

But for Dazai, the boy felt his fingers curve into his bandaged arms with an emotion he didn’t know he possessed. He thought that Oda’s sister would’ve been disappointed by him and maybe that would be true in the future but today it seemed that wasn’t the case. 

And that was enough to make him strangely happy, feeding into the delusion automatically in order to look down at the curry on the table. “Well, one night we were talking and Odasaku thought I mentioned curry so I told him that we should cook one night and make one all together..”

He then watched as Asagao leaned further into the table, absolutely entranced by his every word like it was her life support. “Oooh what kind were you going to make?” 

Feeling his lights start to light up with memory, Dazai recalled the conversation with ease. “Well at first I suggested that we all bring something and put it in a pot, but then I got the idea to make my world famous special superhuman stamina hot pot! It’s made with leftovers from my last superhuman hot pot that I accidentally burned mixed with vinegar and tabasco that’s wrapped and concealed with kindness and love!” 

The boy then chuckled to himself as Asagao gasped in pure awe. “Wow, that’s a lot of ingredients!” 

Nodding back happily, Dazai beamed. “I know, right?! But out of all the ingredients love is the most important part. You can’t forget that!” 

The girl then pushed another bit of curry into her mouth before swallowing with an excited reply. “Wait, what did my brother and Ango say about it though?”

Pushing his hands on the table, the boy let another chuckle escape his lips, remembering the conversation clear as day. “Ango said that it wouldn’t be good but when he asked Odaskau he said..” 

Asa then watched as his words gave out completely, his eyes softening in order to slump down back into his seat with a sad grief filled smile as she pleaded back. “What did he say?”

The air was solemn, coursing through both of them immediately before Dazai spoke again, except this time it was far quieter than before. “He said… Why wouldn’t it be good? Dazai said so ..”

His face showed with so much admiration and unexplainable sadness that it caused Asagao to soften as well before smiling at the bond the two shared that she would never understand. “It sounds like Oda knew a good hot pot when he heard it.” 

Then all at once, she watches the fifteen year old boy’s face light up with pure joy at Odasaku sister’s words, that small giddy excitement coming back tenfold. “He did!! I mean why wouldn’t it be good?! It’s eye-meltingly, cheek popping-ly good! So Odasaku promised me that he would try it! Ango looked like he wanted to die though! It was so funny..and then..”

And as he spoke stories of his old friend, he couldn't help but soak in Asagao’s responses, her eyes never leaving him even for a moment as he spoke about Odasaku so honestly for the first time since his death. 

She reveled in it just as much as he did, hanging on every word like they were the only things that mattered to each other. And they were, Odasaku’s memory was the most precious thing either one had. 

So much so, Dazai couldn’t help but feel his shoulder relax for the first time in weeks. Feeling that same calm, comfortable peace he did whether he was at Bar Lupin. 

And for a couple delusional moments, Oda somehow felt alive again. 

[hobbit-historian]

Rooster x reader

I participated in the lovely @laracrofted ‘s writing challenge based on songs from 1989 Taylor’s version.

This is “All You Had to Do Was Stay”

Warnings: HEAVY on the angst. Mentions of broken hearts and a brutal accident at the end of I don’t go into specifics though.

Rooster.

That man, that name, infuriated her. She couldn’t believe that he was there, standing on that stage, getting that patch, wearing a smile on his face.

The days ago, that same face had been snarling as he yelled at her, again, for her flying techniques. She was reckless, he said. Dangerous, he said.

She had rolled her eyes and scoffed, telling him that she would be standing up there getting the patch right next to him because she flew better.

She thought faster.

Moved faster.

Now, here she was, watching in the crowd as he got a patch and not her.

She blinked back the tears, refusing to let anyone see just how much that hurt. She sat in her dress whites, replaying the whole of her Top Gun experience, trying to figure out where things went wrong, where she failed.

Because he was up there, and she was sitting in a chair in the audience.

The memories slapped her in the face - when she found out that she had qualified for the program, when she had her first lesson, when she got into it for the first time with Rooster, and when the instructor had come to talk to her to tell her that she had been disqualified for her behavior.

Rooster had the never to act surprised that she wasn’t going to be graduating with the rest of them.

He had muttered under his breath, a smug smile on his face.

So she sat, throat burning, as she watched him get handed the patch.

That stupid, stupid patch. And what she wouldn’t do to be right up there next to him.

Something in her heart cracked.

She stood abruptly, neck heating at the stares coming from the crowd around her.

She hurried, steps quickening as the tears burned her eyes. Loading into her car, she sped away from the ceremony, not caring that she was crying on her dress whites.

*******************************************************

Rooster watched her leave.

His mind immediately shot back to the night before, when she wouldn’t even look at him and couldn’t stand the sound of his name.

He cursed himself and his stupidity.

He had been so blinded by his history, so taken aback by her reckless flying, that he had missed the one thing that had mattered most. He loved her.

But all he could do was yell at her when she risked her life, berate her for acting out of turn, and keep her at an arms length.

He was absolutely terrified of his heart.

But watching her walk away, burning with embarrassment from not being up on stage with the rest of the graduates, it broke that already fragile heart.

Shattered into so many pieces that Rooster was afraid he may never fix it.

And like a fool, he had been smiling - smiling - when she had been told she couldn’t graduate.

Truthfully, they had been arguing so much during the program that most people called them rivals. Some elevated that to enemies. No one thought twice about the smile.

They would’ve if they had heard what he had said under his breath.

“She should be, she’s the best pilot out of all of us.”

So as he watched her walk away, he yearned to cry out, to run down and catch her before she left, to let her know how he really felt. But the patch was in his hand and he had already been told that he needed to report to his CO after the ceremony to get his next orders.

So he stayed.

Right where he was.

He remembered the tears his mom had shed after his dad died. He remembered the stream of condolences and casseroles that everyone seemed to have on hand. How Carole had wanted him to follow his dreams, but my God, anything but flying. Anything at all.

So he stayed.

No need to wrap someone up in his less-than-lucky life. No need to get his heart involved.

But as Rooster watched her completely fade from view, he knew - his heart was already involved.

*******************************************************

She was crying so hard that she could barely see the road. She saw the stop sign, but the tractor trailer didn’t. It plowed right into her.

Later, the trucker would say that he wasn’t drunk, and that he would pay all of the hospital bills, pay off all of the surgeries needed to correct her broken body.

But the doctors said that she would never fly again, and that was all that mattered.

She should have stayed.

[blingblong55]

Cinnamon Girl- cpt. Price

I love making myself cry...so I figured if I have to cry..you do too <3

F!reader, but you can always ignore that. :)

This is how i think Price would react if they saw their first love again in years.

Backstory while on a small break he sees his first love, she looked as beautiful as the day they had left. There she was, picking flowers from a shop. The shop you two once went to, when you were young and in love. In your arms, the purse you had dedicated to loving. He remembered how drunk he’d get and how he would always pull you out to dance. In your beige dress and black combat boots, the ones he gave you after you had shown interest in them. He noticed how you had let your hair grow.

He definitely thought of the first kiss and how excited he felt. He was so nervous because you were the first girl to ever show interest in him. So kind and witty, he thought. That night when out and about with his team he saw you once more, in the same ol’pub you two had kissed when his favorite football team won (soccer for my American readers). Your hair was down, and you wore the same jumper he gave you. But this time you weren’t alone, a tall tan man walked hand in hand with you.

----

It was no secret this man was in love with you, but after his job had become more dangerous, he eventually let you go.

You were devasted, thinking you had done something wrong you tried to fix every aspect of yours.

At first he met other women, he thought of you. Slowly you left is mind.

But after he saw you at that shop, all those memories came back.

How every time you'd get sick, he would have to find new ways of giving you your medicine.

"Stubborn little thing aren't ya" his voice low, hinting at a chuckle

One time when he arrived at your place, he saw that you had adopted 1 new cat and 2 puppies, your argument was: "think about the ones we can't help and the ones we can..I don't want them to think I'm not nice..you never know if they spread the word to others."

He hanged from your lips like the gardens of Babylon. (ifykyk)

He couldn't be mad at you, you could break his heart a million times and a million times he would come back with every piece.

3 years after your split, you had met Reid, he was a professor at a pristine university here in London.

He taught you how to trust again, he would always find an excuse to go back to your place during work.

For Christmas he spent it with you, baking some biscuits (cookies) and some chicken.

He gave flower shopping a new meaning.

But he never came close to John Price.

While Reid was a honest man, he never came close to the love, memories and overall life you once had.

2 years into your newly single life, you stopped looking for him, never looked back once.

That was until tonight.

You were at The Holy Tavern, a pub that once held you and your pass lover.

2 year anniversary, 2 whole years of being in love. Almost 2 years.

Price spotted you as you made your way in. How your smile wouldn't leave your lips. That's when he spotted a man, taller than you and dressed for the occasion. He was about to walk away from this building, but he stopped himself. what if by some chance your eyes met and maybe by luck you'd leave with him. "Price, y'alright?" Spoke his Scott friend, he only nodded. He never let you out of his sight.

You held that mans hand, and he could only watch as that stranger kissed you and hugged you. But when he left, it was just you. So he built up his courage and made his way to you.

"one whiskey please" he ordered, that's when you met his eyes, who were already looking for yours. "John?" you softly spoke. "Hello love" "y-you're alive?" you smiled and hugged him. You apologized for hugging him and broke the contact. Leaving a respectful gap between you two.

Every year after the break up, you really did look for him. In every corner of every street. If you ever left the country, you had hopes of bumping into him. But after 2 years, you gave up. Because you knew he'd leave a clue for you.

"I sure am"

"I waited John, I really did, but I never found any clue." you felt so stupid. You have a partner now, how could you just discard him for a man who left years ago.

"I was always around, you know. When you left for Vienna, I was there. When you visited Monte Carlo I watched as you gushed with excitement at the gran prix, how you wore your favorite dress for it too."

"I'm with someone now" you tried to contain the tears.

If he was truly around, then why didn't visit? why didn't he stop you from crying at that beach? If he was there at Monte Carlo, why didn't he hug you once you broke down in tears at the pier?

"I'm aware, I'm happy for you r/n"

Lies

"I'm happy for you too John."

I'm jealous im not him

I miss us John

"Darlin'" your partner spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence between you two.

"lets get goin' my mum is ready with dinner for us."

You nodded, "I'll meet you In the car," "nonsense...I'll wait for you by the door."

He left, never acknowledging John. "He is a nice lad" prick

"He is, I better get goin' don't want to miss dinner."

"yes of course."

You two hugged, and you swore your heart ached. His cigar and cologne mixed well. His heart ached too, your arms around him, just like every summer day.

The only woman who treated him like a lover and not an affair.

The only man who treated her like his lover and not a trophy.

"I'll always watch after you love...no matter what." he whispered and let you go. For good or worse, you weren't his, but he was all yours.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you leave Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did There's things I wanna talk about, but better not to keep Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did

A/N: I wanted to create a part 2 but I figured it's best to leave things between them two unsaid...yk? anyways byeee

[absolutebl]

Hello, hello, Sensei! I figured other BL fans might benefit from this Q&A, so I'm posing this question on the public channels: in your reblog of my TharnType review, you mentioned watching Dew the Movie in a comment about being surprised about the developing kinds of BL that were coming out of Thailand in 2019. Could you expound a little more on that? I'm trying to get a sense of what Dew stands for by way of where it lives in the BL history books. I'm also aware that if it weren't for Bad Buddy, that this piece would have likely been Ohm Pawat's last appearance in queer media, and I want to keep that in mind before I watch it (which will be very soon). Dew will be the only movie on my Old GMMTV Challenge list, so I want to give it the understanding it deserves. THANK YOU, *FOR EVERYTHING*, SENSEI! <3

Dew the Movie

Not a review, more where it sits in Thailand's cinematic journey and how that correlates to queer cinema and its standard pattern of evolution.

I've always though of Dew as GMMTV's My Bromance. Not the same tropes but same tenor. Sweet Student Boy is another one. Or even Your Name Engraved Herein (although that is Taiwan and superior).

All quite heavy. Not much BL.

In Thailand this style started with Love of Siam. And I would put Present Perfect in there as impactful as well (very arthouse and complicated piece that made waves in the Thai queer film industry for many reasons not the least of which was political).

Most queer cinema enters the world with this kind of offering.

There is also a gay rep vis "character patterns in cinematic traditions" that everyone pretty much knows about in ET:

if there at all = kill the gay

if there at all = punch down humor (aka fear the gay so mock openly)

gay rep narratives green lit (usually arthouse) but in order to be taken seriously by critics and greater social structure are censored away from joy (gayness not permitted to be portrayed in a positive light) = queer characters exist but are not allowed to end up happy - these shows can win awards and critical acclaim (the Broke Back Mountain effect)

magical gay advice giver (queer serves only as a plot device to help the hets) - there's usually a make-over involved

1 major gay character (usually in comedy/romance) = tokenize the queer side (aka my gay bestie)

happy ending sanitized gay romances (or skinned romances where the gay characters act like hets - see seme/uke),

actual gay romances honest to the community/experience and peopled with multiple queer characters and life stages

Of course this is not a tidy progression, we can see Thai BL (stage 6) still grappling with 1-5, but also slowly moving into and having more and more of stage 7.

Actual queer narratives (of which romance would be a subset and tends to emerge later) like Dew stay quite dark, gritty, and chewy and usually spring up along side the mainstream depiction of gay characters - around the time that mainstream film decides to acknowledge gays exist at all (and immediately starts killing them).

They just get little to no attention because they are under funded, under marketed, and scary for mainstream viewers. Society isn't ready if these are made too soon in the 1-7 progression. Which is not to say the shouldn't be made! Just why they aren't popular in the zeitgeist.

Dew is part of the "yes but what about the real gays?" side (yet parallel) evolving tradition to BL (that is only now kind of getting integrated into BL). So, stage 3.

But also all stuff I watched North American arthouse grapple with extensively in the 90s and seemed to all follow EXACTLY the same non-romantic narrative path. Therefore it feels like I've seen it a million times.

I'm personally exhausted by this kind of "picking at gay pain" queer content. I don't need to see it anymore. I got into BL because it was materially different and all ways from what happened over here in Hollywood. We never got THIS level of stage 6 and it's fascinating that Asia is lingering in it for so long.

Back to Dew...

Wistful gay?

What might have been...

Something like that?

These shows grapple with identity and expression and out-ness and courage.

It's sad and depressing.

That's about all I remember of it because it was so much like so much of what I had already seen in queer cinema. Perhaps special for the Thai queer film world, but not special for me.

Although I do remember thinking Ohm was great in it.

In the end I think Dew was GMMTV picking up and experimenting with the more universal tradition of exploring (and exploiting for drama) gay pain. It's not really a romance in the modern sense of the term... and I prefer romance.

(source)

[everythingpresley]

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 16

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Jessica Anderson is Elvis Presley's assistant and after months of working together, slowly something sparks between them. Friendship? Or is it more? [ Fem!Reader ]

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+), Slowburn

    ||     Word Count: 4,302

Author’s note: I decided to split this chapter because for some reason it is taking me so long to write and I wouldn't be able to update for a while. Also, the Aloha from Hawaii concert is happening in 1972 in the story instead of 1973, just a heads up!

Masterlist

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 16

Grace, Janice and I decided to all go for lunch at one of our favorite diners in Memphis. 

“I see Elvis has corrupted you. You used to always order the chicken sandwich and now all you order are cheeseburgers.” Janice chuckled when the waitress brought over our orders. 

“Corrupted her in other ways as well.” Grace smirked, wiggling her eyebrows at me. 

I frowned, shoving a piece of fry in my mouth.

Janice gasped and turned to Grace. I was sitting opposite of them in the booth, they were seated side by side “What do you mean! Spill right now Grace!” 

“Wait, you don’t know?” Grace asked Janice “I would’ve figured Jess told you.”

“Told her what?” I asked at the same time as Janice asked “Told me what?”

“Our girl here slept with the king of rock and roll, Elvis Presley.” Grace smirked. 

“What?!” Janice shrieked while I choked on my fries and saliva.

“Excuse me?” I looked at Grace, my eyes so wide you’d think they’d fall out of their socket. 

“Don’t even try to deny it.” Grace pointed her finger at me. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes, I didn't want to lie to her “How did you find out?”

“So it’s real!” Janice gasped.

“Keep your voice down!” I hissed.

“Elvis told me.” Grace smirked. 

I gasped, that son of a bitch “He did? When?”

“When you were in the hospital, in your coma.” Grace replied. 

“Oh.” I replied, so she doesn't know about the more recent activities. 

“So that’s why he almost killed Matt at the hospital.” Janice said with her jaw open. 

“Oh he was so jealous.” Grace snickered. 

“I can’t believe I was the last one to find out.” Janice grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest in a pout. 

“I can’t believe I had to find out from Elvis and not from you.” Grace continued.

“I didn’t want anyone to find out, Grace. Plus, we agreed to forget about it. So, there was no point in telling anyone.” 

“Oh Elvis definitely didn't want to forget about it.” Grace replied “It broke my heart seeing how distraught he was at the hospital, like his entire world was taken away.” She said softly making my heart practically beat right out of my chest. My heart broke for Elvis, my mind recalling the day he cried, blaming himself for my accident. 

“I’m really glad you’re okay.” Janice said and reached across the table to squeeze my hand. I smiled softly at her.

“But tell me, nothing happened after that?” Grace narrowed her eyes at me.

I hated lying. Yes, I kept what happened between Elvis and I a secret but I never lied about it. Plus, I’m not good at lying. It’s an easy tell.

Janice also narrowed her eyes, looking at me with suspicion. 

“What is this? Lunch or interrogate Jess?” I said and ate more fries, avoiding their eyes. 

“Something did happen!” Janice gasped. 

“Stop.” I grumbled.

“Tell us!” Grace chanted.

I shrugged and picked up my burger.

“Jess!” They both exclaimed.

“Fine.” I chuckled and rolled my eyes, placing the burger back down on my plate “Nothing serious but after my accident, a few days after I got home we slept together and have been ever since.”

They both gasped “Nothing serious my ass!” Grace then said “It’s obvious you two are crazy about each other! Just look at the smile on your face when you’re talking about him.”

I wanted to tell her about my fears and doubts regarding Elvis but I just didn't want to put them out in the universe. I wanted to tell her how much I’m scared one day I’ll walk into his bedroom and see some other girl in his bed instead of me. How much it scared me that I was falling for him fast and hard in just a small amount of time. Actually it was not considered to be a small amount of time since these feelings have been brewing in me the moment we met, when I first became his assistant. 

“I don’t know about that Grace.” I shook my head “It’s complicated and I’m his assistant. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place but it did. And I’ve been so much happier ever since and I really don’t want to dig deep and ruin what we’ve got right now because its good. So, I’m taking it one step at a time.” I replied. 

“Fine.” Grace replied “But I don’t think Elvis would be happy to see you with some other guy and I don’t think you’ll be happy to see him with another girl. You two just have to get the courage to actually tell each other how you really feel.” 

“Man up Jess!” Janice joked. 

“But seriously, you guys can’t tell anyone, not even Jerry.” I pointed at Grace. They both raised their hands up in surrender.

I chuckled and shook my head at them deciding to bite into my burger and change the subject. 

After lunch and a much needed catch up with the girls I headed back to Graceland. Walking through the front door I could hear all of the Memphis Mafia causing a ruckus downstairs probably in the Jungle room. 

The past few weeks Elvis and I hadn’t spent much time together. He had been so busy with his satellite concert that’s coming up in Hawaii. The entire house was buzzing with excitement, it would premiere in different countries around the world and none of us could wrap our heads around it. He was extremely nervous just by the thought but I knew he would be amazing as usual. Unfortunately, we hadn’t seen each other and especially at night I would already be asleep by the time he comes back. I even chose to sleep in my room some days since I didn’t see the point of sleeping in his room without him. 

Like yesterday for example:

I had been asleep for hours when Elvis came into my room. 

“Baby.” He whispered “Honey, wake up.”

I groaned, opening one eye to see him hovering over me, a few inches away from my face “You’re back?”

“Yeah.” He grinned “Come on, let’s go to my room.”

“Noooo.” I moaned and closed my eyes again, I really couldn’t move. I was way too comfortable.

“Come on, my bed is way better and my room is way cooler.” He frowned. 

“Okay, go to bed.” I mumbled. 

“Jessss.” He moaned. 

“Elvis.” I grumbled and pulled the sheets over my head. 

He was quiet for a few seconds then slowly he pulled the sheets off of my body. I frowned, keeping my eyes shut. I didn’t know what he was trying to do, if he was getting in bed with me or not but then he shoved his hands under my back and under my thighs. I groaned when he picked me up bridal style out of the bed.

“Shh sleep.” He whispered. I sighed and nuzzled my face into his chest as he walked out of my room, up the stairs and to his room, placing me gently under the covers in his bed. He kissed my forehead, tucked me in and headed for the bathroom. Sleep coming over me the moment he tucked me in. 

I was by the front door when Elvis came trotting down the stairs from his room.

Elvis gasped “There she is.”

“Here I am.” I grinned, opening my arms wide. He grinned and jogged down the stairs straight to my arms. I pulled back and kissed him all over his face.

“You missed me handsome?” I asked, kissing his cheek then moving down to his neck. He hummed then pulled my face up to kiss my lips. 

“You left me all alone in bed.” He pouted. 

I smiled and kissed his pouted lips “I wanted you to sleep in.” 

“How was lunch?” 

“Good. Grace and Janice now know about us, I hope that’s okay?” I gave him a sheepish smile, I forgot to consider if he even wanted people to know about us.

“That’s fine baby.” He chuckled then quickly dropped his arms and moved back. I didn’t even realize until I heard heavy footsteps pounding up the stairs. I quickly reached forward and wiped at Elvis’ lips where he had some of my lipgloss on his mouth. 

A few days later, we boarded Elvis’ private plane and headed for Hawaii. I’ve never been to Hawaii and I was super excited especially with how much Elvis loved Hawaii, he kept telling me about the different activities they do and how much fun they have. The week before I had to buy fancy dresses for the concert and the after party, I couldn’t wait to show Elvis since I don’t usually get dressed up like this. 

I sat with Grace during the flight and she kept teasing that Elvis would try to sneak glances my way, she was relentless now that she knows the situation about Elvis and me.

Elvis booked us all tiny villas that served as a bungalow, all couples were together since each villa just had a king bed, a small kitchen and bathroom. Except, Elvis’ had his own private beach. We landed in Hawaii, Elvis making his way through the fans, taking pictures, signing autographs and receiving leis from the locals. We trailed behind him, got in the cars that were lined up on the tarmac and headed towards the bungalows. 

We all decided to relax in our rooms/bungalows until it was time for dinner. I got dressed in a little red sundress with white flowers that ended a few inches under my knees with a little slit on my right thigh. 

I walked out of my room and saw Elvis walking towards my villa. He looked up and smiled.

“Don’t you look cute.” He said, both of us walking towards one another. Butterflies erupted in my stomach at the way he was looking at me. Even while standing a few feet away from him I could see the genuine happiness in his eyes from seeing me. 

He was dressed in a loose black short sleeve button up and white khaki pants. 

I smiled and stopped in front of him “Hey handsome.”

“Kiss me right now, I haven’t touched you all day.” I said and wrapped my arms around his neck. He had is hands behind his back “Wait, I got this for you.” He said and pulled out a white lily flower “May I?” He asked, I nodded. He reached up and tucked the flower into my hair, on my ear. He pulled back to evaluate how I look like. I smiled and posed for him. He chuckled and pulled me into his arms, wrapping his arms around my waist. He groaned and planted a loud, wet kiss on my cheek “You’re so fucking cute, honey.”

I grinned and kissed him then he ran his hands down my thighs and pulled back “What is this slit?” He bit his lower lip.

“Oh this is nothing, wait till the actual day of the concert.” I grinned. This was a small slit that ended a little above my knee. 

“Oh baby.” He mumbled, shaking his head and pulled me back in for another kiss.  

“My bungalow is right next to Joe’s, what if he sees us?” I pulled back and looked around for any of our friends. 

“They’re already at the beach for dinner, don’t worry.” Elvis replied and took my hand “Let’s go, we’re late.”

We held hands till we reached the private beach, letting go of each other’s hands when we could see the large dinner table that was placed on the sand. The area was lit up with tiki torches and candles on the table. It was very romantic except for the fact that it was dinner with the entire team. 

“Hey.” I smiled at everyone and sat in between Grace and Joe Esposito’s wife. 

The dinner was nice and fun, conversations and wine was flowing. I can never get tired of these people, I really do love them even when sometimes that guys can be childish and annoying. 

“Okay guys! Everyone to bed please! We need everyone on their A game tomorrow.” Joe announced “EP, you need to get fitted for your Eagle jumpsuit and then rehearsals.”

“Aye, aye Captain.” Red saluted Joe as everyone got up and wished everyone a good night. 

“Get back here once everyone is gone.” Elvis whispered as he passed me, walking towards his bungalow. 

“He’s so whipped.” Grace snickered now that we were alone, walking towards our bungalow. Jerry hung back with the guys.

I rolled my eyes at her with a smile on my face “He’s not.”

“I don’t know anyone who keeps a random photo of a girl he’s sleeping with in his wallet.” She gave me a pointed look.

“How do you know about that?”

“He asked me to develop the photos in wallet sized photos, why would he want it in wallet size if it wasn’t for his wallet?” She rolled her eyes. 

I nodded “Actually can I get copies of those photos as well?”

“Sure, I developed multiple copies and in bigger sizes just in case you wanted them.” She smiled. 

��Thank you.” 

I went back to my bungalow and freshened up, sprayed some perfume and reapplied my lipgloss. About thirty minutes later the landline in my bungalow rang. 

Picking it up, Elvis’ voice poured out of the speaker “Get your ass over here.”

“Very romantic Elvis.” I chuckled. 

“Quickly!” He groaned. 

“Okay, okay.” I laughed and hung up. I fixed the flower that Elvis tucked over my ear and headed for his bungalow.

“Where are you headed?” Joe asked, frowning.

“Uh, just walking around to clear my head.” I lied.

“Okay but hurry back and sleep well.” Joe replied, opening the door to his and his wife’s bungalow. 

“Will do Joey.” I smiled, he smiled back and walked through the door, shutting it behind him. 

I went around Elvis’ bungalow to the beach. The area where we had dinner was now cleared out and a small dinning table was there instead of the large one with only two chairs. The tiki torches were still on fire but only two, keeping the lighting at a minimum and a candle on the table. There was a stereo placed nearby that had music playing. 

I grinned, not expecting this. I just thought we’d be in his room and have sex, our usual routine. We’d never had anything remotely close to a date, this felt like a date.

“What do you think?” Elvis asked, strolling out of his open sliding door that faced the beach.

“Elvis.” I took an audible breath, this was very cute.

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his chin on my shoulder. 

“This is very cute.” I said softly then turned my head and kissed his cheek. 

“Come on.” Elvis said gently, pulling away from me, taking my hand in his and pulling me towards the small round table. He let go of my hand and pulled the chairs next to each other so that they were both facing the sea instead of opposite each other. There was a molten chocolate cake with ice cream in the middle and two spoons. 

“Yumm!” I did a little dance, we didn’t have dessert after dinner and I was craving something sweet.

Elvis chuckled and pulled the chair out for me. 

“Let me feed you.” He scooped some of the cake with the ice cream “Open wide.” He grinned. I chuckled and opened my mouth wide for him to feed me.

I moaned, the chocolate so soft and yummy with the vanilla ice cream, the perfect combination. 

“Save those moans for later, don’t get me riled up from now.” He growled in my ear, pulling me closer to him by my waist. 

I giggled and shirked when he bit down on the area that connected my neck with my shoulder. 

“My turn to feed you now.” I twisted in my seat and did the same thing he did. After feeding him I couldn’t help but kiss his lips, he had some ice cream on the corner of his mouth. I poked my tongue out and licked the ice cream off of his mouth. Elvis’ eyes widened, I could see his blue eyes turning a shade darker in lust. 

“Is this turning you on?” I whispered, my lips hovering a few inches over his lips. I cupped his cheek, swiping my thumb gently against his side burns. 

“You have no idea what watching you eat that cake was doing to me.” He whispered. 

I chuckled, pecked his lips and moved back. We continued to feed each other, each taking turns then I laid my head on his shoulder, his arm thrown over my shoulders, drawing little circles on my arm. We sat in silence, watching the waves crash against the sand.

“Are you liking Hawaii so far?” He asked, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“Yes, it’s so beautiful. The people are so nice and welcoming but maybe its because we’re part of your entourage.” I joked. Elvis chuckled.

“I have a surprise for you tomorrow after rehearsals.” He replied.

“Elvis, this is more than enough.” I looked up at him, keeping my head on his shoulder. He looked down at me, playing with the ends of my hair.

“I want you to actually see the island. I rented a classic top down car.”

“How are we gonna get away from the rest of the group?” I asked. 

“Well pretend we’re tired, go back to our bungalows and then we can go. No one will know.” 

I grinned, excited to actually see the island “Okay.”

The radio started playing a slow song “Dance with me.” I said to Elvis. He smiled and nodded. I removed my shoes and Elvis did the same, we held hands and got closer to the water but standing far enough so that the waves don’t crash on us, just merely touching our feet. 

Elvis wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as possible to him while I wrapped my arms around his neck. I placed my head on his chest, he placed his chin on top of my head. 

I love him. I love him. I love him. My heart was beating out of my chest with the realization of just how much I love him. My mind wandered off imagining us together, getting married, having kids. This is way too soon to be thinking about it but I just knew he would make an amazing father. I felt slight sadness creep into my heart thinking he probably doesn't want to be tied down, why would he? He was the king of rock and roll, he could do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. 

I felt Elvis start to tremble, I frowned and pulled away from his chest. 

“Are you okay?” I asked him. His eyes were glossy as if he was mentally somewhere else.

“Yeah.” He breathed, then looked down at me. He gulped and shook his head, blinking rapidly.

“You’re shaking.” 

“I’m just- Jess-” He sighed, shaking his head again, looking off in the distance “I just haven’t felt such genuine happiness and peace in so long.”

My eyes watered at his honesty.

He looked back at me, unshed tears in his eyes and smiled sadly at me “After my mama passed away I never thought I’d ever be happy.” 

“Elvis.” My voice trembled, I didn’t know what to say. A tear slipped out of my eye, trailing down my cheek.

“I didn’t tell you this for you to cry, baby.” He reached of my cheek and wiped my tear away.

I shook my head “I know but you have no idea how much it makes me happy to hear that Elvis. You-you deserve the world. You give all the time and never receive. I want you to be happy and healthy. This is all that matters, you being happy.” I told him.

“Okay, you’re gonna make me cry now.” He chuckled and leaned his forehead against mine, nuzzling my nose.

I hugged him tightly. 

I love you. 

We held onto each other for a few minutes until Elvis pulled back with a smirk on his face “You wanna go skinny dipping?” 

“Are you sure no one is gonna see us?” I asked, looking around. 

“There are no other bungalows for miles, don’t worry. Plus, it’s dark.” 

“Okay.” I replied “I don’t even wanna argue I just want you to fuck me in the ocean.”

Elvis threw his head back and laughed “I was about to say, you agreed so fast.” 

We quickly removed our clothes along our underwear, running into the water completely naked, hand in hand. 

We went under water and came out. We didn’t go too far into the water, it reached right by my chest.

I swiped my now dripping wet hair back and away from my face, losing the little flower Elvis had tucked into my hair in the sea. Elvis did the same, turning to me with a hug grin on his face, pulling me to him and kissing me passionately. I moaned against his lips, pulling him even closer to me. He kissed down my neck, sucking on my sweet spot causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head in pleasure. I ran my hands through his hair, digging my nails into his scalp. He groaned and pulled back to kiss my lips again. 

“I need you.” I whispered against his lips. 

“I know baby.” 

“I’ve never had sex in the ocean.” I giggled, I felt like I was doing something illegal which it was but its also a private beach.

He pulled back and snickered “Wrap your legs around my waist.”

I gripped his shoulders, Elvis lifting me up to wrap my legs around his waist. I could feel his rock hard cock right on my heat. I moaned jerking my hip forward wanting to relieve the ache I felt between my legs. 

“Hold on.” Elvis chuckled against my chest “So impatient.” He continued to place open mouthed kisses all over my chest then dipping his head even further to lick and nip at my hardened nipples.

I moaned, arching my back “Elvis, please.”

“Only because you begged like a good girl.” He pulled back, smirking. Slowly and gently, he guided himself into me. 

We moaned simultaneously as he entered and thrusted his hips. I hugged him closer to me, tightening my legs around his waist. I kissed down up neck to his ear, sucking and biting on his earlobe.

“Oh fuck, Jess.” Elvis groaned, his fingers digging into my waist. 

“Faster Elvis.” I whispered in his ear.

Without saying anything Elvis sped up his thrusts, I was already pulsating around him. I moved my hips to match his thrusts, chasing my high. 

“I can’t last much longer baby.” Elvis groaned, pounding into me harshly. 

“Me too.” I replied.

Elvis came before me but I was there right after him. The orgasm hit me hard. I moaned, throwing my head back. My mouth hung open, eyes shut tight. I felt Elvis tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Jess. I love watching you come.” He whispered.

“Holy shit. That was amazing.” I sighed, a smile on my face. Unwrapping my legs from around his waist, letting my feet touch the sand I couldn't help but admire Elvis’ face under the moonlight. I could stare at him forever. He still kept his hold on my waist, he nuzzled his face against mine and kissed me once again. 

“Does this Hawaii trip beat the others?” I asked, jokingly.

“100%.” He replied “Let’s go back to the bungalow.”

“You need to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow.” 

“Yes, we’re going to bed and you’re sleeping in my bungalow.” He replied. I opened my mouth to interject “Uh uh, I’m not taking no for an answer. If you’re not sleeping in my room, I’m sleeping in yours.” 

“Okay, okay.” I chuckled. 

Once we were all showered and clean, I was in Elvis’ bed in our hotel robes. Elvis was brushing his teeth, I switched on the TV. I gasped when I saw Blue Hawaii was playing on a random channel and a young Elvis filled the screen. 

“What?” Elvis called from the bathroom.

“Come see who’s on TV.” I giggled. 

Elvis spit out the toothpaste and rinsed then walked back into the room in his bathrobe. 

“Oh god.” He groaned once he saw himself on the TV.

I patted the space next to me in bed, he pulled the covers back and lied down next to me. I was grinning watching him on TV, he looked really cute especially in those little white shorts. 

“Look at how cute you look.” I said and turned to him, kissing his cheek. He bit back a smile, rolling his eyes. 

Turning back towards the TV screen, I watched happily. I giggled literally at everything and couldn’t help but smile whenever Elvis on TV smiled. I could feel Elvis looking at me but I kept my eyes strained on the TV. 

Elvis gripped my cheeks with one hand and turned my face to him “Hey! Stop looking at younger me like that.” He frowned playfully. 

“Like what?” I giggled, his hand still cupping my face. 

He squeezed my cheeks causing my lips to pout automatically “Like you wanna fuck him.”

I grinned “I’d rather fuck you anyway.” 

He grinned, letting go of my face “That’s what I like to hear.”

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