#i can't believe this was my hundredth post

[vashtijoy]

"in a relationship": akechi's mother and shido

So the phrase Akechi uses to describe his mother's relationship with Shido, 愛人関係 aijin kankei, has been localised as "in a relationship", which makes me want to spit tacks.

What is an aijin?

Jisho tells us it means "lover; mistress", and that aijin kankei means "being lovers". However, Weblio tells us it is "mainly used to mean someone in a sexual relationship, especially an adulterous one with a member of the opposite sex."

Wikipedia tells us:

It was after the war that the meaning of "[aijin]" changed to "adultery partner". [aijin] in Modern Japanese: There is no formal marital relationship;... In some cases, the asymmetry of the relationship is implied, such as exerting some control over the other party or providing a large amount of financial assistance;... From the perspective of a third party, it may have a derogatory connotation.

So aijin used to mean lover, but these days it means something very much more like a mistress. The next line, which has not Google translated well, says: for example, a male student introducing his girlfriend to his parents will say "we are koibito (going out)", but not "we are aijin".

Several articles describe exactly what an aijin is. This one describes it at length. An aijin is not a partner. An aijin is financially compensated. An aijin relationship is not about the other person; it's transactional. An aijin relationship differs from ordinary sex work in that it's a medium- to long-term relationship—but the financial element is the same. Being an aijin is "a socially unacceptable existence".

Now, we could validly get into the politics of sex work here, and the stigma aimed at sex workers, but when it comes to what Akechi is saying about his mother's relationship with Shido? "in a relationship" is a misleading translation.

BTW, the last warning that article gives is that "an [aijin kankei] has the potential to destroy one's life." And, well.

how does p5 otherwise use aijin?

Some students talk about how Shiho will be Kamoshida's next aijin after Ann;

Shadow Okumura tells Cognitive Sugimura that he can take Haru as his aijin "or whatever you like", rather than marry her—to Haru's incredulity;

The trial Sae prosecutes in November is about a politician who "took his aijin to some fancy hot springs";

Some women on Harmony Alley laugh about becoming the aijin of politicians so they can live the high life;

In Akechi's deleted Mementos mission, Morozumi's mistress who commits suicide is his aijin. This is translated as "mistress";

The lawyers in Shinjuku have an exposition sequence here, explaining that the former prime minister's daughter was also Morozumi's aijin—and also committed suicide;

A couple of the Persona descriptions use aijin, sometimes translating it as "mistress", and sometimes as "lover"—but aijin did mean something like "lover" in the past, so that tracks.

So this gives us a pretty clear picture. An aijin is looked down on. They get spoiled, but also tend to come to bad ends. Aijin are disposable.

conclusion??

There's room for speculation here, but it seems pretty clear to me that Akechi's mother is not "in a relationship" with Shido—or at least, not as we'd recognise it. They have a transactional relationship, which resembles sex work more than a love affair before Akechi's even born.

This is very much more in theme, IMO, with the picture we get of how Shido treats women than the idea that they had some kind of dating relationship which only broke down when she got pregnant. aijin relationships will differ based on the people involved, but it seems like there will always be a power asymmetry—and we know Shido.

[the-eclipse-tm]

Oh my, would you look at that. It is time for this year's first

mEnTaL bReAkDoWn

*kazoo noises*

[starrystormwritings]

Kiss With a Fist

Kiss With a Fist

Master List <3 Request List <3 Marauders Master List

Sirius Black x Reader

A/n: I know I promised a Taylor Swift song fic for Sirius but I couldn't pick a song so instead this (especially the start) is inspired by Kiss With a Fist by Florence and the Machine instead even though the lyrics aren't actually used, just wanted to actually post something tbh.

Summary: You've always hated Sirius Black, so being stuck in detention with him is the worst possible scenario.

Warnings: Badly written arguments, swearing, drinking, weed, no smut but making out, once again bad writing lol, female pronouns but undescribed Hogwarts house.

Word Count: 2787

(NOT MT GIF)

"I can't believe you right now." I said with a huff, wiping down the walls of the potion classroom that were stained pink because of none other than the dark haired boy who was scrubbing the floor next to me.

"Oh pipe down L/n I saw you laughing." He chuckled to himself confidently causing me to flick some water from my hand onto him.

The self proclaimed genius had unfortunately been partnered with me for our potions assignment this afternoon and as easy as a wiggenweld potion normally is to brew Sirius thought it was be funny too add a handful of stolen ingredients to the cauldron whilst my back was turned. Resulting in a large explosion of a pink foam that now stained half of the classroom.

Of course Slughorn didn't believe I had nothing to do with it, but luckily enough he thought one detention of cleaning up the mess the muggle way would be enough punishment.

"I did not laugh, I should be in the library right now but instead I'm stuck in here with you cleaning a mess I didn't even cause!" I scrubbed the walls harder with frustration as I spoke, his cockiness was getting to me.

"Merlin it's not that big of a deal! It was funny!" He rolled his eyes at me as I gave him a look of disbelief.

Of course he still managed to look effortless whilst cleaning floors, his long hair had been scraped back into a bun, bits of hair falling out to frame his face and neck, occasionally dropping in front of his eyes. He had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and both of our robes and ties had been thrown over a chair to keep them out of the way.

The cocky smile finally dropped from his face as he threw the sponge onto the floor in frustration "These stains are never going to come out without magic, nothings happening! How have you gotten rid of so much of it already?"

I scoffed at him for what felt like the hundredth time that day before stepping down from the step ladder I was on to work on a bit of the wall lower down.

"You have to actually put it a bit of effort, actually scrub it rather than doing a half assed job, like always." Sirius had always irked me since we started at Hogwarts, his careless attitude and lack of effort always bugged me. He could so easily be top of our classes if he tried but instead he just goofed off whilst some of us have to put in actual effort.

"Hey what's your problem with me, your good enough friends with Remus and Peter why do you seem to hate me so much?"

I could hear that he had stood up but instead of turning around to face him I just continued to clean the wall.

"Probably because you're a posh prat who doesn't care about his actions and how they affect other people."

He just laughed at me which pissed me off more, causing me to grip the sponge in my hand so hard the bubbles started running down my arm rather than the wall.

"What's so funny?" I asked whilst spinning around to face him, his slouched posture and casual lean against the table behind him causing me to clench my jaw.

"You. I'm sorry we can't all be perfect like you but at least I've got some personality."

It was my turn to laugh now as I crossed my arms, shaking my head at him.

"Oh I have no personality? Because the bad boy with a dark mysterious past that he hides behind jokes and his hair is so original?"

"You don't know anything about my dark mysterious past. At least I'm willing to have fun rather than just hiding in the library all day, there's a reason only one of us has friends." He dropped his rag on the floor, obviously having enough of cleaning now and just enjoying annoying me.

"You don't have friends, you have James and a group of adoring fans who wouldn't like you if they didn't find you hot. And not all of us have the luxury of having fun, I can't get through my exams with a charming smile unlike some people."

"Aw, you think my smiles charming." He sat up now, his height made him tower over me which just seemed to piss me off more.

"No I think you're a spoiled git who's had everything handed to him in life and refuses to see that the world doesn't revolve around him. I'd rather jump off the astronomy tower than spend another second with you and I can't wait for the day when you find out that flashing a smile won't get you out of everything!"

I didn't even realise I'd been marching towards him till my finger jabbed directly into his chest.

He scowled down at me, gripping my wrist with his hand to take it off him.

"And I think that you're a stuck up princess who needs to realise that until you get that stick out of your ass you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life!"

I looked up at him angrily, my hands were shaking with how furious I was and my skin felt like it was burning from where his hand was still holding my wrist.

He mirrored the look on my face before glancing down at my lips for a brief second, before I could comprehend what was happening he lent down and pushed his lips to mine.

It wasn't a gentle kiss, or loving in the slightest. It was harsh and spiteful, his teeth clashed against mine as his hand came up to hold my jaw, backing me up against the bit of wall I had just cleaned.

I dropped the sponge I was holding and let my hand grip onto his hair, covering it in the bubbles that were still running down my arm.

I scrambled to pull him closer to me by his neck as his hand let go of my wrist and instead moved to the bottom of my skirt as he let in to deepen the kiss.

"Sirius? You in the mate?" The familiar voice of James Potter called from the doorway of the room, luckily out of view from where we were.

We both jumped away from each other, turning around to make it look like I was heavily interested in the cleaning again.

I quickly yanked my skirt back down as Sirius attempted to fix his hair and straighten his shirt before the Potter boy had turned the corner.

"Yeah Slughorn has us on clean up duty." He says whilst clearing his throat and chuckling a little.

"Yeah Mary told us what you did thought we'd come give you guys a hand so you might still make it to dinner." Remus said as he approached as well, picking up a rag from the table and heading over to help me.

~~~

I stared at the little piece of parchment in my hand, biting the inside of my cheek as I thought out my options.

Me and Sirius hadn't spoken since the afternoon in potions, luckily with the help of James, Remus and Peter we had finished up in less than an hour and I quickly rushed out and had been avoiding the marauders like the plague since.

Remus had just caught me in the library and handed me the invite that I was now inspecting.

'The marauders invite you to the party of the century (bring your own Fire Whiskey or Witches Brew)'

The piece of parchment was enchanted to have little moving images of fireworks and music notes dancing around the page and the Gryffindoor common room password was printed small on the bottom for anyone who wasn't already in the house.

The Gryffindor parties had become like legend in the school over the past two years, but I had still yet to go to one and now that Christmas break was fast approaching and there was no exams for a while it might be nice to let loose a little.

Luckily I knew exactly where to go to for fire whisky and some less approved plants that were grown in the back of the greenhouse.

~~~

After talking to some Ravenclaw friends who sold me the fire whisky I'd decided I might as well go to the party.

Worse case scenario it sucks and it's awkward and I go to bed early.

Best case scenario I have a great time and get drunk and possibly make a good memory or two.

I'd spent longer than I'd like to admit on getting ready and after a nervous dinner I'd met with Lily Evans to go to the party together.

"I'm so glad you're coming this time! I know as a prefect I shouldn't be really letting this happen but there always so fun, just try and avoid being one of the ones put into detention afterwards, luckily James usually volunteers to take the fall. Of course he's then followed by Sirius, Remus and Peter but usually once they get in trouble the rest of us get let off easily."

She said whilst beaming, her crush on James Potter was hardly subtle anymore.

"Yeah I'm glad I'm going as well, better than spending all night in my dorm, nice to see everyone out side of class and the library."

"You work to hard sometimes you know? You a talented witch Y/n you can take a break now and then."

She uttered the password to the fat lady and our conversation was cut off by the loud music of David Bowie that was playing over an enchanted speaker. Lily smiled as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the common room and towards Mary and Marline.

After some talking, dancing and drinking the girls dispersed over the room to talk to other friends leaving me sat on the window sill with my glass of fire whisky, very buzzed.

"Is this seat taken?" A boy I recognised from Herbology asked with a smile.

I shook my head and moved up to make space for the Hufflepuff boy to slot himself in next to me.

"I don't know if we've met properly, I'm Michael we've got Herbology together."

I nodded with a smile as I looked at him for a second. He was cute. He was obviously nervous and blushing and he'd clearly been running his hands through his curly light brown hair since it looked more messy and out of place than the rest of him.

"Yeah I know, I'm Y/n. Having fun?"

"Yeah I am thank you, it's a great atmosphere in here and I just didn't want to leave such a pretty girl like you sat over here all by yourself." He chuckled lightly to himself as he looked away, unable to hold eye contact with me.

He chucked differently to Sirius, instead of sounding confident and self assured it was more shy and sweet. He didn't look anything like Sirius either, Michael was cute with pink cheeks and fluffy hair. Sirius was hot with a cocky personality and looked as if he was carved out of stone.

Micheal continued to chat my ear off with Herbology facts and compliments but he could never seem to build up the confidence to look me in the eyes.

I couldn't help but let my eyes wander across the room as I smiled at the sight of my friends dancing stupidly to an ABBA song that was making Remus pretend to plug his ears.

As I looked over to the other side of the room I finally spot Sirius who was leaning against the wall with a cup in his hand staring directly at me.

I quickly looked away back at Micheal but not before noticing Sirius stand up from the wall and head towards me.

"Yeah so that's why without Herbology potions would be completely useless, so basically half of the magical abilities we have would be completely worthless without-"

"Mind if I borrow her for a second?" Sirius says from behind my shoulder, causing me to take a big sip from my cup.

"Oh uh yeah of course, I'll see you in class." Micheal said to me with a big smile, finally meeting my eyes before scurrying off into the crowd.

"Wanna get some fresh air for a second?" Sirius asked, offering his hand to help me up.

"Why would I go anywhere with you?"

"Because I'll talk to you about something other than just Herbology." He said with a laugh.

I looked up at him for a second debating my options, maybe it's the whiskey or the fact that he was genuinely smiling at me but I took his hand and followed him out to the courtyard.

We walked in a comfortable silence, both of us finishing our drinks before he picked a bench to sit on.

December would be here soon and it was obvious by the fact that I could see my breath in front of me.

He wordlessly shook off his jacket and handed it to me.

I just looked at him dumbfounded for a second before he sighed and shook his head.

"Your shivering idiot. See I don't only think of myself, just put the damn jacket on."

I looked at him for another second before sliding my arms through the jacket and pulling it closer to me, it smelt like sandalwood, cigarettes and mint.

"You smoke?" He asked while taking the blunt from behind his ear and lighting it with the end of his wand.

"Sometimes." I said and he chuckled before inhaling and passing it over to me.

"So why'd you ask me to come out here?" I put the blunt in between my lips before inhaling, letting the smoke warm my throat and lungs before tilting my head back against the wall and exhaling, I looked over at him to see him already staring at me and gesturing for me to give the blunt back.

"Maybe I'm drunk but I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah you're definitely drunk."

He laughed and shook his head, taking another hit.

"What you said the other days been bothering me."

I quirked an eyebrow at him, "My words had an effect of the all mighty Sirius Black? Oh my." We both laughed as I lent over to take the blunt from his fingers and bring it to my lips again.

"Yeah your words, along with other things. Do people really think that of me? That I'm just a privileged twat with a confidence program?" He lent back against the wall, using his fingers to comb through his hair.

"You want to know the truth?" I asked with a small smile, a mix of booze and weed making me more confident than I should be.

He nodded, taking the blunt from my hand.

"I was jealous, and annoyed. You're just amazing at everything so easily and I feel like I have to work so hard. And you just waltz in with your effortless smile and pretty face and everything just comes to you."

He laughed again and turned to look at me, taking a last long inhale before stubbing out the blunt onto the floor.

"It's not effortless, you don't know half of it."

"I'd like to."

He lent over to move some hair from my face and tuck it gently behind my ear, letting his hand linger for a second.

"Maybe you will. I don't think your stuck up by the way, I think your brilliant. You drive Remus mad because of your grades which is saying something."

It was my turn to laugh now, "yeah I wish."

"No really you do. I'm sorry for what I did in potions by the way."

"It's fine it didn't take long to clean."

"No not that. The other thing I did in potions." He bit his lip for a second and I could've sworn he wasn't sat that close to me before.

"Oh that? It's fine it's not like I pushed you away." I awkwardly looked forward towards the view in front of us, suddenly very interested in the frozen spiderwebs in the corner.

"Would you care if I did it again? Just out of curiosity." I looked over at him to see that famous Sirius Black smile.

I laughed a little and allowed myself to move closer to him.

"Well there's only one way for you to find out isn't there?"

He laughed again, his finger tracing the bottom of my jaw softly.

He looked at me for a second before leaning in to push his lips against mine again.

There was less rush this time, his touch was softer and gentle. Maybe it was the taste of whiskey and weed coming from him but it was intoxicating.

He pulled away for a second, resting his forehead against mine.

"You called my face pretty." He whispered with a breathless laugh.

"Well you called me brilliant."

He shrugged for a second before I pulled him against me again, tangling my hand into his hair with a smile.

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

This post is not related to literature, books or art , please skip the post since that's what u thought and stumbled upon it , this post is all about me and my personal thoughts on various chain of things in my life , which I want to write down here since Tumblr has been my safe place .

I went through my blog yesterday and tried to look up what i have been posting since the last few months, it gave me a lot of blue vibes altho it is a representation of what's going on in my head , on Tumblr specifically I only post what goes through me & what I been feelin , I have lived in every peice of quote I have posted over the span of months, i have resonated with them not just only once but multiple times over the period of time , but I don't want to post them always, I want to feel so many other emotions that exist out there so that I can post about them , intimacy love happiness faith youth friendship I want to feel them I want them to happen to me the way I feel blue heavily, intensely ,constantly ! I post on this blog so I can find people who have felt things that I have felt so that I know I am not the only person who has felt it this way & again I sometimes think about the people who felt the same things as they felt and wonder how miserable it has been for them too. I am never not thinking about the quote from van Gogh when he says I want people to touch me through my art I want people to feel my art I want them to say oh he feels deeply he feels deeply.

This year has undoubtedly been one of the worst years of my life i have suffered great losses not just of people but also of the person I was , I don't recall a single day in this year when I looked in the mirror and felt happy looking at myself ( I am not talking about the physical appearance here ) . This year has made me weak on all levels & i can't write down all the reasons for it cuz they won't justify anything, this year I have spent more time somewhere else rather than in myself, despite what i am writing here trust me I am a very optimistic person I still keep the faith & hope to do better in life everyday I am the person who will fall down ninety nine times and stand tall again on hundredth, i don't give up and sometimes i think thats what goes wrong with me I don't know when to give up which l believe has significantly hurted me over many things , indeed nothing has hurted me than my very being & my mistake cuz i have done a lot of them but the what makes me more ridiculous is I am the most intelligent person in my family tree and it's branches ( no i am not trying to praise myself)my opinions/choices are asked for decision making over lot of important things in their life which amusingly fits them well and satisfies them but the same wisdom/intelligence doesn't benefit me,it has caused me more damage than good , I read the quote from Bukowski where he says "Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish you didn't understand them" and i have never looked at myself in the same way again

As much as I believe in efforts and action I also believe some things are not just subjectivity enough with them for example my experience with love and friendship, i believe one of strongest reason I loved Leeza was the resemblance of our tragedies in the past , there is quote from nagato ( pain from Naruto shippden) where he says "" unless people comprehend the pain as others they truly cannot understand one other"" here the pain i and Leeza shared was very much similiar I thought we would understand each other best out of anyone in this planet, which made to put my 100% into loving her but unfortunately that was not enough

I wanted to meet people who would want to understand me ( only /atleast those who already knew me inside out) based on the way I did things and what happened to me & how much of what changed me overtime as a person, because i don't want to explain each time I do something to the person who already knows about me ,maybe this doens't make a lot of sense since this by far has been the most delusional thing I have ever thought of , I have never met someone as such i am being very honest about it ,and this is solely due to my own fault I am an over expaliner cuz i think people are overthinkers ( simply because I am one) .

I am trying my very best to change my life in every way i can , even if things aren't beautiful I am grateful that I am alive, i will always hope that things will get beautiful over time, sincerely and most Genuinely I want to feel those things ,i can not describe how badly i want nice things to happen to me , how i would like to be friends with someone who won't hurt me & to be loved by someone deeply enough that i can find my peace in them.

[debb987]

ROTTMNT ANGST

I can't believe I actually wrote this, but inspired by @red-rover-au this post, which is also inspired by @cupcakeslushie separated AU! May I present to you: Draxum raising Subject One (Raph) as a test before all the others, which means the poor snapper gets all the attention (threatening) and is separated of his brothers by age gap.

TW: Child abuse :')

Also, spoilers for Raph's background on my fic "The Eldest Brother" cause I don't think I'll publish this there until after I get to explore the Rise!Brothers POV haha

Chapter (?)

The Great Baron Draxum was an alchemist mutant warrior, a master of the mystic arts, and was well and fully aware that the scientific method demanded a process of trial and error. For an idea to become an hypothesis, from which then he would need to experiment upon until the result obtained was what he required.

He had many mutations that were fast, strong. Excellent creatures that were not intelligent enough to think by themselves, but could follow basic commands well enough.

But he could not lead alone, he would require assistance. Intelligent, loyal assistance. Commanders that could lead the tropes on the war to come.

Thus, the creation of Subject One. Whatever happened to this one, he would learn from it and improve for the specimens that followed.

Besides, Huginn and Muninn had only been able to get enough blood for a single mutation. Lou Jitsu was the champion of the Battle Nexus and thus, heavily guarded. They had gone to the arena in hopes of collecting a sample, but true to his undisputed title, the human warrior rarely bled from injury, no matter who or against how many he was made to fight against.

It had taken months, but in the end the gargoyles had finally gotten one sample. The little creatures refused to disclose their methods, but in this instance Draxum cared not for the process, only the result.

And the result.

“Da.”

The result was absurdly adorable peculiar.

He had chosen an alligator snapping turtle, figuring that even if he messed up the first subject the resulting soldier would still be somewhat useful by virtue of its size alone.

“Da!”

“Draxum, the name is Draxum, not Da,” he repeated for what was probably the hundredth time. “But I do acknowledge your trial, even if it ends with error still.”

Draxum usually made an effort to maintain an intimidating image. Things like tenderness or physical displays of affection were not useful for that, but here, in this solitary cell, he allowed himself to enter without his helmet and dark teal bodysuit to— 

“Daaaa!” Green fingers made a grabbing motion.

“Patience is a virtue.”

To hold the rapidly-growing creature that was already the size of his forearm, and was starting to attempt to speak, carefully handling it so the spikes would not scratch at unprotected skin and cloth.

Because, as his current situation could attest, it was apparent that he couldn’t name, take care of, and watch develop an infant without becoming attached to it.

He had no need for unwillingly-formed attachments to his mutated soldiers, so he had made a mental note to delegate the fulfillment of basic living needs to his attendants for the next tests. Subject One though…

“Da!”

He would personally supervise its development. Just to see what else could be improved in the mutagen formula, no more.

“Dawwwr!” the toothless creature mumbled, nibbling at his hand in a mess of saliva and bacteria.

“Draxum, not Dawr. And that’s highly unhygienic, I’d highly suggest you stop before I force you to.” 

When Subject One just grabbed his wrist and continued to babble at it, Draxum curled one clawed finger and inflicted injury on the roof of its mouth. 

The creature wailed and trashed in his hold, coughing up spit and blood, but it was effective in making it release his hand.

“I provide only one warning. It’s a lesson you’d do well to remember.”

It continued to cry and move wildly in his arms, and at this rate getting scratched by the spikes was highly probable, so Draxum dropped it. Subject one fell on its shell, and cried even louder.

“Silence is also a virtue,” Draxum tried to say over the wails, but it was unlikely his words were reaching the target. He sighed, passed a hand over his hair, and reluctantly knelt down to pat the creature’s head comfortingly.

“Silence, I said silence,” he repeated with the pats, and the creature finally stopped crying and looked up at him. It had also stopped bleeding from its mouth already, the accelerated healing was working properly. Crying over an injury that wouldn’t even last ten minutes was overly dramatic.

“Da?”

“Draxum. The word you’re searching for is Draxum.”

Subject One sniffed and struggled to sit up, making a grabbing motion once more.

“Do not move too much while on my hold, or I will drop you again.”

(x)

It was growing at a very fast pace. 

“AGHHH!”

Perhaps a bit too fast, even. The mind didn’t seem to develop at the same rate the body did, which resulted in unpaired speech patterns, and the lack of skill to formulate strategies for battle that differed from a straightforward: smash it. He would have to remove the accelerated growth from the formula before mutating Subject Two.

“Halt,” Draxum ordered after Subject One fell again, rolling on the dirt like a ball that was aiming to collect as many bruises and scratches as it possibly could. 

“I don’t understand the reason for your struggle. I provided all the information needed at the beginning of the exercise, you already know how to defeat your opponent.”

Subject One curled into a ball, as three-fingered hands rubbed at the blood coming from its nose in a vain attempt of making it stop. All the while silently crying, the tremors of sobs were visible even from such a distance.

“Crying will not solve your current dilemma. Stand up, or I’ll withhold the meal of today.”

The turtle just curled on itself even tighter, shivering. Did it want to hide inside its shell? 

“Your kind cannot retreat into their shell,” but it would be useful if the next subject could, so they would fit in smaller places, infiltrate more easily. He made a mental note of it.

“P-pwease…”

Draxum sighed, and made a hand gesture to call off the exercise. Attachment to his soldiers was an inconvenience he really could do without.

“You will not be coddled in real battle. You need to understand basic battle strategy, at least.”

Subject One sniffed and shakily stood up, giving a slow nod. 

“...come here so I can tend to your injuries.”

And if he let Subject One sit on his lap while he did so, and gave comforting rubs at the spiky shell as the turtle nuzzled at his shoulder, no one had to know.

(x)

Subject One improved. At some point he actually started to win against his opponents, even if he resorted to messy tactics like tearing at the jugular or snapping a limb off with nothing but his powerful jaw. 

But the instances were far and in between. Right after winning, after the opponent stopped twitching and breathing, the turtle would cry at the top of his lungs, and in the exercise that followed he would perform remarkably poorly. Subject One wouldn’t even move from the starting line, and would just stand still and let his opponent beat him without any reaction whatsoever, not to defend or counter, and much less to evade.

Draxum had no option left but to call off those matches.

“You did well last time, so why did you freeze on this instance?”

But no matter how many times he asked, he was only ever met with silence.

This trend lasted for several months, until finally, Subject One started to win every single fight. The ferociousness of the isolated events became the norm, as the turtle perfected the combination of attack and defense he needed to— 

“HALT!” Accelerated healing or not, a lost limb would not regrow.

…

…

…

“Don't you realize the severity of the damage you could have sustained?” Draxum said while grabbing his creation by the shoulders, uncaring of the spikes digging into his palms. “Don't do something like that ever again! That’s an order!”

Subject One seemed confused, but nodded shakily. “S-sorry…?”

“You should be! You cannot act without thinking of the consequences!” Draxum yelled, even though there was no need to since he was quite close to his intended audience, but he cared not whether it was logical or not. All he cared for— 

All he… cared for.

“I care,” Draxum whispered, looking at confused dark eyes, the fading marks of rapidly-healing lacerations, the single snaggle tooth poking at a lower lip. “I care.”

He hadn’t realized it was to this extent, but the idea of his creation suffering long-sustaining damage, one the little turtle wouldn’t be able to heal from, was… unacceptable.

“U-um.”

“You…” Draxum sighed at last, placing a single hand at the top of the snapper’s head, ignoring the reflexive flinch. “You’re going to stay at my side.”

There was no happiness nor horror at the revelation. Subject One just tilted his head, confused.

“Why?”

“Because I order it so,” Draxum rubbed the top of his head, in what he now accepted was an affectionate gesture. “Just… follow me.”

(x)

“What are they?” Subject One inquired in one of Draxum’s supervising rounds, poking at the glass separating them from the holding cell of Subject Two and Three.

“Soldiers,” Draxum answered simply, “or at least one day, they will be. For now, they’re still at the stage of developing basic motor functions.”

“Babies?”

“Correct,” Draxum patted the top of his head, inwardly pleased at the lack of flinching. “Subject Two and Three are infants.”

“Together?”

“They are temporarily sharing space, yes. That will be rectified once the remodeling is over, do you recall that?”

Subject One nodded, eyes still focused on the smaller turtle specimens. “Yes. New, big, spooky.”

“That is not the name of the machinery,”  Draxum sighed, nudging his creation forward, “and we need to continue, so start walking.”

The snapper nodded and followed the instruction without issue. Subject One may not be very smart in terms of strategy, and the speech pattern was just now slightly improving, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was following orders. He would make for a good second in command, once he grew older and could learn more on what he lacked.

“Draxum?”

“Yes?”

“Other… baby turtles?”

“Subject Four is the last one, I will experiment with other creatures once the donor is brought here. I’ve requested the two Gargoyles to help me in this quest.”

The snapper gasped, pulling at Draxum’s rob excitedly.

“Can I see Four too?” 

It was rare for the small one to be excited about something, and watching him made Draxum feel sort of warm, so he yielded quickly.

“Subject Four is only a few weeks old, it does nothing but squeak,” he warned, guiding his creation to a different hallway. 

(x)

“Lou Jitsu, your dexterity and skill as a warrior is legendary.”

“My days of fighting are over; I won’t harm another creature ever again,” Lou Jitsu said with crossed arms, before leaning to one side with a confused frown. “Is that a kid?”

“Hi,” Subject One greeted, peeking timidly from behind him. 

“I do not require you to fight. I only require your genetically-gifted essence.”

“One: that sounds gross. Two: how old are you, kiddo?”

“...I’m five.”

“Aww, that’s adorable,” the warrior extended an arm through the gaps of his containment cell and gestured for Subject One to approach him.

The snapper turned to him for further instruction, so Draxum nodded once. “In spite of his remarkable fighting skill, this warrior has retired by his own volition. You may engage with your DNA donor—”

“I’m his what.”

“ — while I oversee the preparation for Subject Five to Ten.”

 (x)

He had left for only ten minutes. Twelve, at most.

The warrior was already out of his containment cell by the time he returned.

“I know I said I’d never fight again, but you,” Lou Jitsu curled his upper lip with disgust. “You’ve earned it.”

The absence of the turtle was immediately noticeable.

“Where is Subject One?” Draxum asked frantically, turning around in hopes of spotting the spiky shell, only for his gaze to be blocked by the sole of a foot.

“Where is Subject One?!” he repeated, summoning forward the purple vines to confront the human, as the others lifted machines and cages, trying to find his creation. The snapping turtle hadn’t gone through any fighting exercises in a long time, there was no way his small creation could have won against the champion of Battle Nexus— 

“Babies!” the familiar voice exclaimed, and Draxum turned around to see the five-year-old snapper carrying Subject Two to Four in his arms.

“Subject One!” Draxum called in relief before a hit connected to the back of his head, and the world blurred as he fell from considerable height. 

“...subject…one,” the edges of his vision were starting to darken. He could hear the sound of something exploding in the background. 

“Ouch, you little shit! Damn rat!”

“Mister?”

“Uh, don’t repeat thaaaaa— what the— m-my hands?!”

“Mister!”

“Shit, shit, that green thing— run! Let’s just run!”

“Sss… One…”

“Don’t worry Boss, we’ll get you out of here!”

(x)

His mutations had escaped.

His lab had been destroyed, and with it decades of work; as the machinery, notes, raw materials, all burned to the ground.

And yet, all he cared for was to— 

“Find Subject One!” He threw one of the pieces of debris at the gargoyle’s direction, heaving in frustration. “How can you steal Lou Jitsu right from under Big Mama’s greedy claws, but continue to fail on finding my creation?!”

Huginn and Muninn exchanged a worried glance. “Boss… he’s not in the Hidden City.”

“He can’t be up with the humans,” Draxum spat the last word with hatred. “They are the subjects of the prophecy, they fear what they don’t understand, they would kill him!”

They would… kill him.

The humans would definitely kill Subject One. His creation, his… his…

His.

“I will not wait.”

“Boss?”

“No, I cannot wait. If I do, those pathetic, furless creatures that compose the human race will murder Subject One,” Draxum said through greeted teeth, one fist curling strongly enough for his claws to dig into his palm, drawing blood.

“But… but everything in the lab was destroyed.”

“The Great Baron Draxum is an alchemist mutant warrior,” he straightened to his full height, “and I shall demonstrate just how skilled a warrior I can be.”

AN:

Turns out, Lou Jitsu had just started keeping rats as pets, and their bites made him bleed a lot :D Samples 1 to 4 were collected in this manner LMAO.

[tipsygnostalgy]

On Grandpa/Jake Harley

you know shits about to be long as fuck when i add the keep reading line like four lines in lol

anyway anon all this is 4 u!! feel free to talk ab this by just tagging instead of rb i dont want 2k words to be posted over n over again

Grandpa Harley being some kind of pseudo-omnipotent deity figure who somehow figures out/guesses (my money's on guesses) extremely intricate details about the game and does everything he can to make things go right is something that we don't talk about enough. It's one of the only plans in Homestuck made that are orchestrated entirely by one person then ends up going right. It's that pattern of hoping that the cards fall into place in the right way (unless we're taking the Grandpa is practically God perspective, which is interesting in its own right)—but notably, he makes a lot of preparations beforehand. He's so... active. It fascinates me. I'll have to talk about this on the Jake English as Jesus Christ trope post (it's coming, I swear, brainrot's a bitch) but the sheer amount of things he does is astounding. But, lo and behold, he wasn't always like this. Cue: the Skaianet Systems Incorporated texts.

Quick note about all that. A very large portion of the things Hussie wrote for SSI is 1) dubiously canon, and 2) a bunch of anti-semitic bullshit that he probably never should have fucking released to the public, at least not like that. Like, holy shit, keep that and your weird comments about sexual slavery in your Notes app dude, we don't need to hear it. For this reason I suggest reading the actual material with extreme caution. Cool? Cool. On with it. Here's a lil' review of Jake Harley before the session.

Funny enough, Jake had always been kind of pathetic in the Beta session as well.

So Skaianet was actually established by HIC as a front for laundering technology from Alternia and Sburbian ruins. The key of SN was not to actually develop tech, but make it look like it so that people will believe you when your company just re-defined gravity for the hundredth time. Jake has to play the "famous genius shtick," but he doesn't do so well. When he fully inherits SN at 21 he runs it hands-on, and "believes" his success is due to hard work and diligence. He also "believes SN is now a considerably more distinct entity from Crocker Corp, and his leadership of the company is a result of his hard work and competence. Neither is true." He's manipulated by his at-the-time boyfriend (Charlie Chaplin, somehow) into letting a rebel force into the Crocker manor, though the effort is ultimately thwarted by HIC.

He also has a disastrous love life. His relationship at sixteen with Chaplin consists of Chaplin finding him "obnoxious and thoughtless" though he "can't seem to quit him," and Jake ultimately "[toys] with his heart, and [abandons] him." This later (much later, think decades) manifests into something way worse when Chaplin appears in an outing Jake has with one of his families (he's had many, though not at once) and tries to kill Jake for not just his involvement with SN/HIC, but for breaking his heart as well. Notably, in this scene, upon having a gun aimed at him Jake reflexively hides behind his wife, who ends up being shot in his stead. He's out-strifed so badly that he'd have died in the jungle (oh yeah he takes his wife and 5yo son to a jungle btw) if Chaplin didn't have a divine intervention moment afterwards.

At 32 he also abandons his post at SN for fucking around Europe. "[H]e's out exploring and adventuring, completely oblivious to whatever's going on in Europe. He hops from site to site, looking for Sburbian ruins to plunder." One, the "whatever's going on" is WW2, again, somehow. Two, he has a daughter there that he "takes custody of, apprentices as an adventurer, and takes all over the place on his adventures." When he takes her to Hawaii she ditches him because she's sick of her "douchebag dad." And there's that Jude family too, obviously.

Oh, and all the Beta guardians are also meteor babies. It's how Jake ends up finding Dirk and Roxy to begin with—he sets them up with trust funds in Texas and New York so that they can be of use to SN later, though whether he knew their importance in the larger context of SBURB is unclear.

All caught up? Great.

The exact details of how every event goes down aren't as important as the lessons you can draw from it, namely: Jake Harley is an absolute fucking mess of a human being. He continuously creates families—notice how he keeps having children with his wive—then is bereaved of them. A few times he abandons them, a few times they abandon him, and sometimes they get killed by your ex-boyfriend. It's a neat little insight into just how neck-deep these commitment issues lie, but it's also fun to consider that he seeks it so desperately. This man has on record has had:

one wife be shot dead in front of him

a son who was technically kidnapped from him by the man who almost beat him to death (his ex-boyfriend)

a daughter ditch him in the middle of hawaii for being a shitty dad

a daughter (joey claire) be teleported by portal to alternia, who hated jake so much she took her dead mom's last name

said dead mom/wife whom upon her death leaves her children "Semi Orphans" because he just straight up ditches his kids to go work on hellmurder island

probably more

And he still considers himself a grandfather to Jade. TBF, I guess the easier way of explaining it is that it's simply the natural explanation—they are sort of related after all. But considering that he once sired an illegitimate daughter and not only took her into custody but tried to raise her as his liege, I still find it the fact that he tries over and over again to the point of rending the family meaningless interesting. I think it's viable that Jake wanted a family—not one where he and Jane were raised by HIC and poorly—but a real one. His attempt to raise that first daughter to mirror his habits reflects the way HIC raised Beta Jane to mirror her. Yet after relationship after relationship goes horribly wrong, this desire fades into a kind of apathetic unsureness to the point where this is what he says about his last "full" family, the Harley-Claires:

He's been making good headway on his quest for the mysterious island in the pacific. Once everything is taken care of here, he'll leave this family behind and set up shop on that island permanently. That's when the real work begins. The discoveries on that island will finally unite him with the destiny he's been in search of his whole life.

Two things of note. One, his first recorded instance of permanently setting up jackshit anywhere is at first with SkaiaNet then at Hellmurder island. Both locations share that theme of "destiny" in common—notice how he considers SN divorced from Crockercorp because of his efforts and tries to make the place overall less HIC-controlled, but ultimately fails. And sure, he later achieves this kind of destiny by having his Sburb plan go "right" but before this not a single "plan" he established went correctly. Jake in either timeline isn't a guy who regularly makes plans for multiple efforts—they zero in on one goal that appears as part of their calling and makes it happen, damn it. To him, that's a success. Whether he "actually does" is up for interpretation.

See, HIC actually wanted the Beta kids to play the game. She'd been using the Beta session as a "testing" timeline, knowing which events and people to avoid and keep in mind so that she can play everything out exactly the way she wants it to. Part of the reason why Crockertier Jane was so firmly for marrying Jake and having children was because that had been HIC's idea of what Beta Jake's purpose was once he landed on a Meteor (after B!Jane). So he saw the "big picture" in a bigger way than quite literally anyone else, but it still isn't enough, at least not in the way he thought it might be at first.

Prior to his discoveries on the island, Jake has no idea this will result in some kids using the software he's unearthing, which will destroy all life on Earth. Nor does he have any idea that those kids will be using this same software to reboot the universe with different starting conditions, thus ending this "trial run" timeline for HIC, and giving her a fresh start. Exactly as she planned.

This implies there is some moment that Grandpa Harley realized that everything he was doing would end up playing into the HIC's hands anyway. This also implies that he carried out those actions regardless, Hoping that Jade would someday win the game in the process. Are you seeing the parallel for my interpretation of Ult. Jake yet? Fuck.

What was the moment he realized? Did he power through anyway, hoping there was a bright light for Jade at the end of this all?

He's also a hoarder. He keeps items and objects instead of people. He hangs onto the past to the point where he's seemingly unable to let go of it—trophies, guns, artifacts—but throughout the entire Harley Manor there is not a single picture of his families. And that's where his dolls come in—dolls are just human enough but not too human, you can control them however you'd like yet delude yourself they are company. I'm not saying all doll-enjoyers are this way, but the specifics in which Grandpa (and Bro to an extent, for that matter) interacts with his dolls makes me believe he's turning them into pseudo-human entities because at the end of the day he again craves company. But, unlike Jake, Grandpa Harley's had a lifetime of experience reinforcing over and over again that this will never happen with a real person. And fuck, don't even get me started on the taxidermy—it's the very act of taking something, bereaving it of life and subjectivity, then keeping it for yourself. You can see how this has even affected Jade in the sense that she thinks about her taxidermied dead Grandpa (who she taxidermied himself, by the way) like a living, breathing person. And Jadebot? A robotic, perfect replica of his granddaughter, designed to monitor her at all times instead of him? And the parallels that has to Brobot. Ughghgh.

Also, quick digression. You know how Beta Dad & Mom were on the Battlefield? And how Grandpa landed just to recover Jade's dead dream body, then left Dad and Mom behind. Sorry, I'm just not normal about that at all. How did we collectively miss the sheer tragedy of that situation, God, I wonder what Roxy was thinking. Digression over.

All in all, what these files tell me is that the way Jake was written was no way accidental. Yeah he got fucked over in the Alpha session, yeah he's tragic, but he's tragic for a reason that I ultimately appreciate even as I clutch my heart and dramatically fall over from pain. He knows just enough about the meta-reality to cause feelings of absurdity but powers through it; he's supposed to be put in seemingly insurmountable situations and emerge, through one way or the other, victorious. He's supposed to have the strangest relationship known to man regarding other people and, as a result, try to find compromise between the two halves of "complete fuck-all isolation" and "the company of any developed adult human ever." He's goal-oriented only when it presents a clear-cut destiny to him, when he can see the significance of it, and otherwise floats around doing fuck-all in this world. This goal is, most of the time, people: Dirk for LE Jake, and Jade for Harley. It's also fun insight into where Jake could potentially end up going—as this post by Cooper already pointed out, Ult. Dirk's actions mirror Bro's need to micromanage and control everything in his life to the point where he, much alike Bro, secludes himself in an apartment while running his inner machinations unknown to most others. I wouldn't be surprised if Jake ends up in a similar way to Grandpa, giving his all to a dreary situation and maintaining Hope through it with the desire that it'll eventually succeed.

It would also be fun if his Hopes only came true after his death.

Alright, analysis over, everyone clock out. Good work, people. [Vaguely gestures to the reader.]

[lordisitmine]

TTNBD BLOG: PART ONE

I'm doing something different with this story. I always have much to say in the notes of my fanfiction and I'm usually bursting to talk about behind the scenes/commentary stuff, so I've decided to do blog posts to correspond with the updates of this story. I don't know if I'll do one for every single chapter, some of them may be grouped, but I hope people will find them interesting just the same! This post is to cover the first update, that being the prologue and the first chapter. Obviously, spoilers for those if you haven't read them yet.

INTRODUCTION

My writing process for a fic usually starts with the nagging vision of a single scene. It might be an ending, a beginning or a middle, but if it burns in my mind long enough that I have to write it down, that usually means that it will continue to stick around until I've done something about it.

Such was the case with To the End of Everything. In the late summer of 2014 (August I believe), I was on the bus, going to work, day dreaming (I can't read or watch videos in a moving vehicle, I'm very prone to motion sickness). I had recently been re-reading the first few arcs of the Kuroshitsuji manga and had finally gotten around to season two of the anime. Seeing Ciel as a demon gave me about six hundred thousand emotions, and so it was on my mind at the time.

Suddenly, a scene started to play out in my brain, and it was genuinely like watching a movie. I could see it all clear as day. It was Sebastian and Ciel, both demons, in twenty-first century London, standing at the grave of Ciel himself, on Ciel's one-hundredth-and-something birthday. Sebastian was holding a giant bouquet of roses and Ciel was rolling his eyes and pretending not to be totally charmed by the gesture.

This, of course, is the epilogue of TTEOE. That one scene dug its claws into me so completely that I spent the next four years writing an entire novel to explain how it was that the two of them ended up in that situation in the first place.

Fast-forward to the fall of 2018. It's almost Halloween, and I'm finally, finally, putting the finishing touches on the final chapter of TTEOE. Ciel and Sebastian are standing in the ruins of Phantomhive manor, which has been destroyed (again). The man who killed Ciel's parents has been defeated. The great evil has been vanquished. The contract between Ciel and Sebastian has come to fruition, but instead of Sebastian consuming Ciel's soul, he has transformed it. Ciel has been transformed into a demon, and he and Sebastian are even more irrevocably bonded than they already were (more on that later).

There were, however, still a few loose ends. No ending is ever truly clean, not in real life. And sure, this was fiction, but I like to leave room for my readers to imagine what might happen next for themselves, and also give myself a little bit of breathing room as an author, in case I ever do decide to write a sequel. But when I wrote the lines about Sir Arthur's followers still being out there, I didn't have any concrete plans to do anything about it.

Until about ten months later.

August, 2019. What is it with me and August? Well, whatever it was, it got me again. The same cemetery, the same grave. Only this time, it wasn't the twenty-first century. Ciel's death was still fairly recent in the grand scheme of things. And instead of Ciel standing in front of his own tombstone on his own birthday, it was Lizzy, bundled up in the cold, carrying out her grieving ritual, even still, visiting Ciel in order to wish him a happy birthday and to tell him she hoped he was in a better place.

And then an immediate hard cut to Ciel and Sebastian in Paris having wild sex. Here, let me quote my own outline document, which is the first thing I write for any fic, the place where I messily scribble down everything I want to happen in order to then break it down into scenes and fully write it later. I wrote this back in 2019.

"Lizzy visits Ciel’s grave. She tells him about her latest life update, how med school is going, how her friend Sybil has invited her to go to Paris for the holiday, and how excited she is that her parents said yes, on the condition that she take the servants with her to keep her safe. They've become super extra protective ever since the business of Ciel’s death and all that. Lizzy seems to be doing better, as the last time she visited Ciel’s grave was months ago, and we are led to believe she used to come here all the time. She ends the visit by telling Ciel that she might not be back for some time, and that she truly hopes he’s in a better place.

Cut to Ciel, who is indeed in a much better place- namely Paris, in some ridiculously lavish bed in a ridiculously lavish apartment, getting his ass eaten and his back blown out. It’s his birthday after all, and Sebastian won’t let him forget it, even if Ciel thinks birthdays are a foolish thing for demons to celebrate. It’s also their anniversary though, of the day they made the Bond, and Ciel doesn’t mind celebrating that one so much."

So, yes. I've been sitting on this sequel for some time.

The problem this time, unlike with TTEOE, was that I had no idea what to do with these two scenes. They were obviously the beginning of something, but the beginning of what, I had no idea. With TTEOE, I had elements from canon to draw upon, and an obvious goal- tell the story of how Ciel got his revenge and became a demon.

But here, any conclusion I might have was more vague. The cult was still out there, so maybe something happens that brings Ciel and Sebastian back to London? But to what end? Ciel is supposed to be dead, so it's not like he can just re-enter his old life.

I knew for sure I wanted the story to focus on Lizzy as well, to give her a narrative arc of her own, and maybe a romance (a sapphic one, obviously, because that's how we do things in my house). Would she know Ciel was still alive? Would she be a victim? And who would be the villain? Who had taken over in Sir Arthur's stead, and what was their even worse, even bigger plan that the gang would have to foil?

Obviously, I now have answers to all of these questions. But of course, those answers are for me to know, and for you to find out.

So, over the course of the last few years, I've been coming back to this story, adding random pieces in by bursts of inspiration, building a Frankenstein's monster of sorts. Trying to create life. And then a year ago in December of 2022, I decided I was ready to flip the switch, summon the lightning, and actually sit down and write this son of a bitch.

I really did intend to have it done a lot sooner than this. I was, in retrospect, a bit premature in announcing my intentions. However, one of an author's biggest motivations is their audience, so I think it was good that I knew people were waiting for me to do it, even if it did cause me to stress myself out more than a few times. But that;s completely on me, not on you, the reader.

I won't get too much into my personal life, but a number of things happened this that contributed to creative drought and periods of business that prevented me from writing. But I had encouragement from you guys, and I'll always be grateful for that, because it got us all here!

PROLOGUE: COUP DE FOUDRE

TTEOE had an epilogue; TTNBD has a prologue. There are several through-lines in this story (and oh boy has that been a BITCH to plot out, I hope it will be worth it) and a couple of those through-lines start years and years before the rest of the story, so I sectioned them off like this. Also, having a prologue makes me feel a little fancy.

Original characters are a touchy subject in fanficiton for some people. I personally don't read a lot of fic with OCs, which is wild because I'm currently writing one. But whenn they're executed well, some of the best fics I've read have had OCs play a major role. Of course, self-insert OCs are their own sub-genre, but that's not what is happening here. There were holes in the story I wanted to tell that needed characters to fill them, and none of the existing characters could reasonably be stretched to fill those holes. So original characters it was!

There are three original characters in this story; Sybil, who plays the most major role, who you met as a baby in this chapter and who you'll see as an adult in the next one. Then there's her father Simeon, who you've met as well, and another character who I won't mention by name yet because they're going to be introduced in next week's instalment! Both Simeon and this other person play lesser parts in the story, but they're important. I will be doing drawings of them this week, so you'll get to see what I picture them like alongside their descriptions.

EDIT: December 19/2023. I realised a couple more things I forgot to mention when I was chatting with my translaor van_Dort, for whose work I could not be more grateful! Simeon's name comes from the Bible, specifically the Simeon spoken about in the New Testament book of Luke, in Chapter 2, during the story of the birth of Jesus.

In Luke CH.2, Simeon was an old man living in Jerusalem at the time of Jesus's birth; he had been told by the Holy Spirit that he would not die until he saw the Messiah. When Jesus was brought as a baby to the Temple in Jerusalem to be blessed, Simeon got to hold him, thus fulfilling his life's purpose.

The parallels between this Simeon and mine aren't meant to be super direct, but in TTNBD, Simeon's purpose was to father Sybil, and in holding her when she's born, he sees that purpose fulfilled. Also, as Van_Dort said, having a demon with a biblical name is just pretty cheeky and fun :>

Alois and Claude are here too! Season two of the anime is so juicy, with so many good elements to it, I just couldn't resist bringing these characters out to play. I can't wait to get into Alois's absolutely busted head and his wicked toxic dynamic with Claude. I feel like their relationship is a great foil for Ciel and Sebastian's, especially in this fic with the tone I'm going to take. I'm excited for you to see my representation of some of the events of the anime's second season.

CHAPTER ONE: A FAR, FAR BETTER REST

Ten or more years ago, when I was very, very involved in this fandom, much more than I am now (I'm like, here lurking but I wouldn't call myself active) I came across a piece of fanart of an older Ciel and Sebastian, and Ciel had this long hair, and it was so beautiful, and it changed my brain chemistry forever. I've never forgotten it, but I've also never been able to find it again, much to my chagrin. Maybe I'll try to recreate it now that I have the will and the skill to do so.

NEVERMIND! I just took a break from writing this to go search for it one more time and I actually found it! This is a repost on DeviantArt, The notes on the post say it was taken from 4chan but I can't seem to find the original source which sucks but I found it! I've been thinking about this picture for years!

So yes, this specific picture is 99% of the reason why Ciel has long hair in TTNBD. If anyone by some miracle knows the original source, please do share. That and growing out one's hair is symbolic of starting over or time passing or whatever thing you learned in your high school language studies/literature class. Also I think it looks pretty. This is exactly how I imagine him, I've been trying to capture this hairstyle in my drawings, I need to tweak his bangs a little I think.

Also, kudos to those of you who noticed that Ciel's fake name- Gespenst- is German for phantom! I couldn't resist the fun little reference, both to the name Phantomhive and to the fact that Ciel, for all intents and purposes, is a dead man. Also it sounds cool! Bonus!

ANYHOW, onto other stuff. Namely, let's talk about the telepathy thing.

My guilty pleasure is those middling to badly written romance fantasy novels where a nineteen or twenty year old girl gets taken away into a fae realm and falls in love with some hot strapped fae prince or whatever and then finds out that he's her Mate *gasp* and they're *bonded*. If you're reading this and thinking about A Court of Thorns and Roses, then you're thinking of the exact series I was obsessed with when I was writing the end of TTEOE.

In ACOTAR, Feyre and Rhysand have a mating bond that includes a telepathic link. I already knew I wanted the ritual that turned Ciel into a demon to form a tangible bond of some kind between him and Sebastian, and I was reading those books at the time and it just struck me upside the head. Mating bond! Duh! It plays perfectly with the possessiveness that's already inherent in their relationship and the fact that they're supernatural beings with supernatural abilities- and I also happen think it's pretty ~hot~ oop.

To be fair, it's not just ACOTAR's fault: I've been big into Star Trek since I was a teenager and if you know what T'hy'la means and the absolutely legendary fandom mythology that surrounds it, you know where all of my obsession with mates and bonds and stuff really comes from.

I hope I've done a good job of laying out sort of how it works between Ciel and Sebastian, but just to be clear- I don't see it as being like, the ability to read/hear every single one of each other's thoughts. it's more like a link that they can use to sort of "speak" directly to each other, or if one of them is thinking about something very intensely, they can pick up on it.

To me, the vibe of these two has always been "power couple in a crowded room at a party, having a silent conversation with their eyes about how they're better and prettier than everyone else here" and I guess I wanted to make that a reality.

Also it's a great trick to be able to use during sex scenes.

Which brings me to my next point: as you will see, there are a lot more sex scenes in this fic than there were in TTEOE! And they're a lot more... how do I put this... graphic? That's Partially because Ciel and Sebastian's relationship is established, and they're demons, so they're just horny most of the time- and partially because it's been so many years since I wrote TTEOE! I'm just more comfortable with this stuff now and I know my way around it better from a writing perspective.

I wasn't even twenty years old yet in 2014 and now I'm staring down the barrel at thirty, so I've just grown up a lot and developed more as a person, as well as a writer. I feel like I've gotten better at writing in a lot of ways and one of those is definitely my ability to write porn. Not to brag or anything. I know it's a weird skill to be proud of, but in fandom it's a skill that's kind of worth its weight in gold.

Speaking of writing improvement, the honest-to-God biggest challenge for me this time around has been matching the cadence and tone of the writing in TTEOE. Having taken such a long break, and my writing voice having shifted like it has, I have to be deliberate about keeping it all coherent. I hope I'm doing an okay job.

Last but not least, Abberline's back! It's everyone's (my) favourite oblivious detective! I love outsider POVs and so I had a hoot and a half writing him in TTEOE, so of course he's back to investigate crimes and always be about one or two steps behind until the truth turns around and backhands him in the face! What will he do, where will he go, who will he see? Who knows! It's always an adventure!

Like Lizzy, Abberline has had his own response to what happened to Ciel. He's changed in his own ways and his place in life has changed as well. You'll be seeing more of him soon, along with everyone else.

Okay! I think that's all for now! Thanks for reading this... very long post! Feel free to ask questions, I'll be camping out near my inbox, and I'll see you again next week!

-lord_is_it_mine

[bulkyphrase]

Time Loops Rec List: 2024 Edition

It's Groundhog Day, which means it's time for my favorite Marvel time loop fanfics from the past year! See this post for the November 2022 and February 2023 picks.

(why I posted the first Groundhog Day list in November is a mystery even to myself)

god loves everybody, don't remind me by napricot (Gen, Mature, 70,381 words)

Summary: N'Jadaka didn't believe in the gods of his people. But belief was not a prerequisite of the gods' attention, and the blood of the Panther tribe ran in N'Jadaka's veins. Bast took hold of his soul in her mighty jaws and lifted it free of his body. She gave him a warning shake, just as she would a misbehaving kitten, and set him back. With one careful claw, she tweaked his path through time into a twisting loop. Wayward and abandoned though he was, N'Jadaka was still of her tribe. He could set things right, if given the chance. Erik gets a do-over. Erik gets a lot of do-overs. Or: Erik Killmonger's own personal version of Groundhog Day, only with a lot more murder, dying, trips to the ancestral plane, awkward family conversations, and divine intervention.

offer me that deathless death by canistakahari (@unicorncoalition) (Stucky, Explicit, 10,656 words)

Summary: Bucky dies for the first time in February of 1945, and then he dies again, and again, and again. It doesn't stick, but he can't find a way out, either. Also available as a podfic read by GhostCwtch (@ghostcwtch)

The rest are below the cut!

Exit Life by EiraLloyd (Stucky, Teen And Up Audiences, 11,346 words)

Summary: Bucky says, "Can I ask you a question?" and unravels his plans once again. "What is it?" "I don't— have all my memories back," he admits. "But there's this one day. I have… different memories of how it went. I don't— I think it's the same day. The same inn, the same train, the same mission." Steve feels cold. He feels colder than he did when he froze in the Arctic. "Do you—" Bucky hesitates. "Do you know why?" (Alternatively, the countless times Steve fails to protect Bucky from a guy in a metal suit and the one time he succeeds.)

Dead Man's Switch by emptydistractions, art by profoundalpacakitten (@emptydistractions12, @profoundalpacakitten) (Stucky, Mature, 20,335 words)

Summary: Steve has only ever wanted to help people. Maybe that's part of the reason why it nearly tears his heart in two the first time he watches Bucky die. He can't help but think of the 'what if's'. What if he'd been there sooner? What if he'd been able to stop it? By the five hundredth time he watches Bucky die though, the whole situation's really starting to lose it's charm. (Or: Bucky is stuck in a time loop, and Steve is accidentally along for the ride.)

Of things lost in time by erde (Stony, Explicit, 16,082 words)

Summary: The Time Stone beckons Steve with the promise of home. He ends up in Clint's farm, reliving the same day again and again.

The Last Time by mariana_oconnor (@mariana-oconnor) (Winterhawk, Teen And Up Audiences, 12,446 words)

Summary: Today has been strange and, considering the majority of Bucky's life, when he says strange, Bucky really means that. It's not one big thing that makes it strange. He's fought giant interdimensional squid monsters while standing on the shoulder of the statue of liberty. Things like that don't faze him any more. It's the little things that are making the back of his brain itch. All the little things that are starting to add up. It's that uncanny valley feeling: everything just a little left of normal, not enough for you to say exactly what's wrong, but enough that you know something isn't right. And he's pretty sure it's got something to do with Clint Barton.

ceaselessly into the past by shepherd (Stony, Explicit, 84,131 words)

Summary: Edge of Tomorrow/Live.Die.Repeat AU, following the movie. After earth is invaded by the Chitauri, Tony Stark is forcefully drafted into the military for a suicide mission. It ends up with him being inexplicably caught in a time loop that always seems to end with him dying horrifically. And, of course, the day was a Thursday- he had never gotten the hang of Thursdays. (please regard the tags for warnings- there are more explicit warnings inside)

double back by flowermasters (Sambucky, Explicit, 12,560 words)

Summary: Sam gets stuck in a time loop. In 1943. Things could be worse, but they could certainly be better.

Reason Number Four by hannahsoapy (Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Teen And Up Audiences, 3,309 words)

Summary: On Monday, at 4:37pm, Phil dies in Clint's arms. And at 4:39pm, and 4:44pm, and 4:57pm... it's been a lot of Mondays.

[themuseoftheviolets]

Hello??? I just read it’s you?? I’m?? Obsessed. OhmyGOD I love the way you write them. I want a million words of them!!

Do you have any wips?? How did you think of them?? It’s so beautiful??

Anyways hello

HIIIII!!!!! thank you so much this made me so happy akjdksks

putting this under the cut because i got really excited to talk about them:

emjegulily happened so quickly it's like i was compelled to write them. i've always loved jegulily and regulus and emmeline were always a friendship i really liked, and then one night i started thinking about them as a romantic pairing which surprised me because a week before i hated the idea? like they were strictly platonic to me and then they just Weren't

at the time i was thinking of exes to lovers jegulily where jily is still together and they see regulus again, and i was thinking about them thinking he and emmeline are a couple because they act like one in my head, and then i started thinking about them as polycule

regulus and emmeline to me are a duo that just knows each other so well. like you know the lyric 'it feels good to be known so well / i can't hide from you like i hide from myself' from true blue by boygenius? that's them to me. they just get each other and they know everything about each other and they're just very comfortable and secure with each other

and then we have james and emmeline who are very similar and once they start talking they get along like a house on fire. they're both outgoing and flirty people and they're just so much fun to think about

lily would take a little while longer to warm up to emmeline because she's very set on disliking her, but emmeline would win her over once they get to know each other better

i thought of them for the first time like right after i woke up, and i kept thinking of them the whole day and then in the afternoon i made a tumblr draft that was just going to be random scenes of them that i was thinking might turn into a minific but then i blinked and it was over 2k

i have never written that much that fast before it's like i was possessed. i wrote it in basically one sitting and mostly on my phone and with no outline or anything. i only had the scene of reguline waking up in my head, the rest just came to me as i was writing

i believe in total it was 12 hours from when i first thought of them to when i posted it's you? which is wild to me

and i do have many wips, one of which is another emjegulily!! in this one has the same set up as it's you, but reguline are already dating

the plot is basically emmeline romancing jily and taking them out on dates, and for now it's titled 'romancing your boyfriend's exes in three easy steps'. i haven't written much for it yet, but just for you here's what i do have:

“This is a bad idea.” Regulus says again, bracing his hands on the counter he is sitting on. There are in the shop’s small kitchen, which is only supposed to be used by the employees, but Emmeline and Regulus are family, and the shop is their second home at this point, so no one ever says anything.

Emmeline sighs, putting her mug down and walking over to stand in front of her boyfriend, in between his legs. She places her hands on his thighs.

“It’ll be fine.” She reassures him for the hundredth time today, rubbing circles into his skin with her thumb. She moves her head forward to rest their foreheads together. “It won’t take long.”

very little as of right now and this might change, but for context: the shop they're in is emmeline's uncle's mechanic shop, and jily are bringing their car there to be fixed

i have a few ideas for the dates emmeline is going to take them on, one of which is one of those drive-in movies that she'll take lily to

and while emmeline is out with lily regulus is with james, and when she's out with james regulus is with lily. and at the end they'll have a date that's all four of them

they are very precious to me and i love them so much and i'm so happy you liked them too!! this ask made really happy i've been smiling so hard since you sent it thank you so much!!!

[maayan00sh]

taylor swift's "folklore" as a soundtrack to the ineffable divorce

i just watched season 2 last week and i processed it the way i do every emotional breakdown: by listening to taylor swift. so here it is, an analysis of how every single song on folklore is actually about aziraphale and crowley (WARNING: THIS IS REALLY LONG AND MOSTLY SAD)

the 1: for me this is aziraphale post-s2, thinking about crowley while absolutely playing light how devastated he is. you could very well read it the other way around, but this part truly rings aziraphale to me: "I persist and resist the temptation to ask you, if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?"

But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you

cardigan: for me this is crowley post-s2. not only because aziraphale is famous for cardigan-wearing (and for crowley being his favorite), but specifically a) "I knew you'd come back to me"--because I truly believe he believes this, no matter how much he hides it, and b) the subtle anger behind "when you are young they assume you know nothing"--because that's emblematic of the condescension crowley has always felt from heaven.

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends, I I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes

the last great american dynasty: okay this one is definitely the biggest stretch but can't you just imagine a femme-presenting crowley fucking up a small 1920s new england town like this? "she had a marvelous time ruining everything" indeed, she did.

They say she was seen on occasion Pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea And in a feud with her neighbor She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

exile: this is what inspired this whole post, because EVERYTHING about this duet is immediate s2 fallout. "all this time, we always walked a very thin line"? "all this time, i never learned to read your mind, i couldn't turn things around"? PLEASE.

bon iver's part is crowley, completely blindsided by aziraphale's betrayal:

And it took you five whole minutes To pack us up and leave me with it Holdin' all this love out here in the hall I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out

taylor's part is aziraphale:

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

"he's just your understudy"--this is the metatron (or heaven as a whole), temporarily filling in crowley's key role in aziraphale's life. aziraphale KNOWS crowley would be totally jealous, but he's tired of "balancing on breaking branches."

my tears ricochet: absolutely crowley upon meeting with aziraphale again post-s2. no matter what the context, he's determined to remind him or just how badly he fucked up.

reading this from crowley's perspective is just SO MUCH:

And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?

there are layers of references to crowley's Fall here, but also to the end of their relationship:

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

there IS no home for crowley anymore, but it's almost like he takes pleasure in knowing aziraphale must be miserable in heaven:

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones

...

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears

mirrorball: aziraphale through the ages, literally doing The Most to attract crowley's interest and attention (magicianry anyone?!)

"hush, when no one is around, my dear"--this is a reference to how they've had to maintain a facade of plausible deniability over the years, but "i'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you"--i'm doing everything to show you what you mean to me.

"i'll show you every version of yourself tonight"--he's tried over and over to show crowley the goodness that he completely believes is still inside him.

And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven: this song is crowley reminiscing about the origins of their relationship. as we know, he might not even remember much of anything pre-Fall ("though I can't recall your face"), but despite that, despite the fact that nowhere (in scriptures) is their love story written down--"just like a folk song, our love will be passed on."

the sweetness of the lyrics also speaks to me of their past, quiet moments with each other where things were simple, they indulged in earthly pleasures and no one needed to know:

Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won’t tell no other

august: another crowley reflecting post-s2. "august" is the little window between s1 and s2 when they were able to "not really" pretend--"august slipped away like a moment in time." despite the fleeting pleasure ("august sipped away like a bottle of wine"), it was never going to be permanent ("'cause you were never mine").

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

this is me trying: in my imagined s3, when aziraphale comes back and is trying to make amends, this will be his anthem.

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that

that is, his new position in heaven? absolutely was not what he hoped it would be. not being sure if crowley would still be there for him like he once was, knowing that he messed up, constantly thinking about what was and could have been...

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

illicit affairs: once again, crowley's heartbreak post-s2. (many people read this as a song about infidelity, but i see it as being about a secret relationship and the way it destroys the people in it. "take the words for what they are--a dwindling mercurial high, a drug that only worked the first few hundred times." whatever they had, however real was, it's dwindling now. it's gone.

this is 100% about the emotional toll that keeping their relationship a secret from heaven and hell has taken:

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings and stolen stares They show their truth one single time But they lie and they lie and they lie A million little times

as long as aziraphale keeps believing in the moral rightness of the hierarchy of heaven over hell, they have no choice but to lie about the full extent of their relationship. and that is what makes aziraphale ultimately leave for heaven and leave crowley broken behind him.

And you wanna scream Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else ... And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times

invisible string: can it be? a happy love song?

obviously, this is about the "invisible string" that keeps pulling them together over the years. i read it from aziraphale's POV tonally but could go either way. "hell was the journey but it brought me heaven"--honestly this is equally applicable to gabriel and beelzebub.

Time, mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

mad woman: this is not a dynamic that i really see happening, but i can imagine a fanfic where heavenly!aziraphale essentially gaslights crowley about their past relationship and this is crowley's emotional response.

Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry

epiphany: in general i think this song is about trauma. for me it invokes specifically the trauma of crowley's fall/the great war, because "with you i serve, with you i fall down." of course, we don't get a lot of them talking about this explicitly, because "some things you just can't speak about."

despite them living for literally ever, they always seem to be on the brink of some crisis that re-awakens crowley's primary trauma of being expelled for asking questions.

Only twenty minutes to sleep But you dream of some epiphany Just one single glimpse of relief To make some sense of what you've seen

betty: this gives very much "aziraphale comes back to the bookshop post-s2 and asks for forgiveness" vibes, which... I don't know exactly if that's how I believe it will happen, but i certainly think "the worst thing that i ever did is what i did to you" applies.

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself Or lead me to the garden? In the garden, would you trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything But I know I miss you

peace: oh, this one hurts. crowley reflects post-s2 and wonders if he was ever really enough for aziraphale anyway. "i never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near, and it's just around the corner, darling, because it lives in me"--if they were together, they would always be hounded by heaven and hell, just for being who they were, and in the past crowley has definitely tried to hide out of fear from hell. if that's the only life he can give aziraphale... is it enough?

But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best But the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me

hoax: another heartbreaker for post-s2 crowley. somehow these lyrics feel so specific to them, too. "your faithless love's the only hoax i believe in"--feels like a dig at aziraphale's failed career as a magician. "don't want no other shade of blue but you"--aziraphale's blue eyes in heaven. "my only one, my smoking gun"--the 1941 gun trick. "my kingdom come undone"--the collapse of our side.

Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue but you No other sadness in the world would do

the lakes (bonus track): i read this as aziraphale daydreaming about going back to crowley almost immediately after choosing to go to heaven. "i'm not cut out for all of these cynical clones, these hunters with cell phones"--he immediately feels how much he doesn't fit in with heaven's bureaucracy. "i've come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze tell me what are my words worth"--this almost feels like a reference to the bookshop, the other archangels sneering at what used to be his home, his everything.

against that backdrop, he dreams of the romantic landscapes of his victorian novels, and of course, of crowley with him again.

Take me to the Lakes where all the poets went to die I don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm setting off, but not without my muse--no, not without you

And that's it! I hope you didn't cry as much as I did making this post! Or, if you did, that you now have some cathartic music to listen to about it!

[magici-if]

Hi Irina!!! :D

Sorry for sending an ask so soon after my first one 😅 But I saw the masterpost and I was like "Sunshine Cinnamon roll Harley needs more love! 🥺"

So!! From the emoji asks:

⚾️ and 💘 if it's not too much trouble??

P.S. You're awesome, thanks for all the posts and info already it's making me so happy/excited!! 🤗

hii poet & no problem you're always saying nice things and being so wholesome so i love your asks lmao

& totally agreed after seeing the last poll</3

⚾ BASEBALL - can they play sports? what is their best position if they play a team sport? what's their strong suit (speed, power etc.)?

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

from this list

Harley doesn't really play team sports, she prefers calisthenics and powerbuilding; but she honestly loves anything that keeps her active. However, she's done a pretty good job at goalkeeping the few times she's tried, and she's a goddess at ping-pong. Her strong suit is definitely strength, both absolute & relative; and her reflexes.

Harley honestly just wants someone that'll make her feel seen and loved. Someone that looks her in the eyes when she talks, or that at least listens to what she says instead of waiting for their turn to speak.

She doesn't really believe in love at first sight; however she firmly believes in what she calls it 'love at second sight' (lmao). That's when she's listening to a friend speak, like she's done countless times before, but something suddenly clicks; and she can't help but feel dumb for not having realised before that her friend is beautiful.

So Harley won't fall in love the first time she lays her eyes on you, but the hundredth. :)

[carefulfears]

For the fanfic recc: seaglass blue, by melforbes. Her Notes sections describes this more beautifully than I could:

""a year ago i accidentally found a woman on instagram who received a heart transplant, and over time, i've followed her without knowing her at all because that's a very big deal and it's hard to see your own problems as real problems when someone else quite literally has someone else's heart beating to keep them alive and is making the most of every problem that comes with. but what really got me - and what inspired all of this - was a post of hers about making it to her first anniversary with her husband. they'd been together for maybe a decade and had intended to marry in a specific way that hinged on her health (genetic, i believe) improving, but she ended up with a death sentence instead, and after they received that news, he asked her to marry him knowing he would be a widow, knowing that they most likely wouldn't have a first anniversary, knowing that such a gesture is both completely futile and the only thing in the entire world that could possibly matter. but then, someone died so that she could live, and she endured days of surgery, months of recovery time, and a rest-of-her-life medical presence in the form of invasive tests, millions - literally millions - of pills, and all else that comes with being long-term ill, and they had a first anniversary because of it all. and i can't put all that that makes me feel into something short and to the point, so it is here now, and maybe, in some weird warped strange uncouth odd maybe honorary way, i can do it justice.""

Scully is dying of cancer; Mulder marries her and takes her to the sea. At first they coast (never have I wanted to live in a place more than this small sea bungalow near the ocean, quietly near people but not interacting with them); but the weight of Scully's impending death weighs heavily on him. This leads to a misconstrued situation; which unfolds into a much needed, simple, beautiful conversation (well done, Mulder, for stepping up.)

BTW, this fic is one of the oldest I've read, a.k.a. I was still sinking my teeth into XF fanfic. The beauty of it... I teared up (closest I'll probably get to crying, heheh), having lived near enough to the experience (thought to only a hundredth of the direness of MSR's situation) to recognize Mulder's conflicting emotions as my own.

yes <3 i haven’t finished seaglass blue yet but it’s stunning. thanks for sharing!

[munsonmadness]

ten years (e.m)

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader summary: y/n breaks things off with eddie I've been obsessed with this song and decided to write a loosely based one-shot. I hope you enjoy it, as this is my first time posting anything I've written. word count: 1.3k

"It's funny 'cause I've always dreamed of me & you, now here we are, staring at the stars." Y/n breathed out after what seemed like an eternity of silence for Eddie.

"You just broke my heart even though you promised you'd never do that from the start… but I guess we can only make it so far."

"No, please, y/n it wasn't what it looked like I-"

"Look, time wasn't in our favor. This isn't goodbye, this is simply see you later." Y/n chokes out, sitting up from her spot on Eddie's van floor.

"Y/n. princess. Please don't do this. She meant nothing." Eddie pleaded, clutching onto her shirt.

"Let me know when it's time to come back. Maybe when your life is on track and you don't have to hesitate."

"Hopefully, it isn't too late," Eddie mutters tearfully.

"Luckily for you, I'm patient. I'm okay with your making me wait, and as long as you're near, I'll be here." Y/n says standing at the back of Eddie's van, wiping away the stray tears.

"Even if it takes ten years?"

*1 year later*

"Hey Dustin, Mike!" Y/n called, jogging to catch up to the pair.

"Hey y/n!" Dustin called excitedly, nudging mike who just nodded in response.

"Did you guys want to hang out tonight? I could order a pizza!" Y/n asked hopefully.

" We actually have the finale to our campaign with Eddie," Mike finally spoke, trailing off at the mention of Eddie.

"But we need a sub for Lucas! He has his championship game tonight!" Dustin cut in.

" I don't think so dustbin. It doesn't sound like the best-"

"It's been a year y/n. Just think about it. Please?" Mike said, cutting y/n's sentence short.

"I'll think about it. No promises Wheeler."

"I can't believe you're actually going to go to the campaign! Eddie freaking Munson's campaign!" Robin exclaimed in disbelief, Steve nodding in agreement.

"It is one night and I'm only going for the kids!" Y/n said pointedly, pulling her old hellfire shirt out of its box.

"Just be safe and please promise me that you'll call if anything is wrong," Steve said, looking at y/n sternly.

"I promise, dad," Y/n said, holding her pinky up.

"Thank you y/n! thank you, thank you!" Dustin yelled, getting onto his knees dramatically.

"We really owe you one y/n. Eddie was going to kill us if we didn't find a sub." Mike added with a smile.

"That you do, Wheeler, but I have a feeling he's going to want to kill you more once he finds out who the sub is," Y/n said as the three of them made their way to the clubroom.

As the door opened, there was silence except for the soft sound of Eddie's music playing over the speakers.

"Absolutely not," Eddie stated with an icy demeanor as his eyes met hers.

" You asked for a sub and we delivered!" Mike said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"A damn good one at that!" Dustin added with a nod, making Eddie furrow his brow in annoyance.

Because let's face it - Dustin was right and everyone knew it. Especially Eddie. He was the one who taught her, for christ's sake.

"Are we going to sit here and chit-chat all night or are we gonna play Eds?" Y/n spoke up, making Eddie look back to her, expression still hard.

"Let's see if you still have what it takes, sweetheart." Eddie bit, holding his hands out towards the empty chairs, making y/n's heart flutter slightly.

-

"Bada bada boom!" Dustin giggled when y/n rolled a 20 draining Vecna completely.

"I didn't think you still had it in you y/n," Gareth spoke as he made his way out of the room with the rest of the club members, leaving y/n and Eddie behind.

"How are you and Steve "the hair" Harrington?" Eddie says, jealousy dripping in every word.

"I'm not with Steve for the one-hundredth time, because I can't fall in love when I already found the one. how am I supposed to move on?" Y/n said, her eyes finally making their way into Eddie's shocked ones.

"The memories won't go away. I feel pain every time I hear your name. But I always think of you the same." y/n added, wiping away a stray tear.

"It's time to come back. I promise my life is on track," Eddie speaks up softly, making his way towards y/n.

"I never meant to hurt you. What Chrissy and I did meant nothing to me and I'm sorry I didn't realize that what I wanted was right in front of me the entire time." Eddie said, pulling her into his chest.

"You broke me Eds. You crushed me when I saw you two in the woods." Y/n said with a soft sob.

"I know, princess. I'm so sorry, I've cursed myself every single day since. If there is anything I can do. Please, please tell me." Eddie said, cupping y/n's face in both of his hands.

"I sure will Eds. it's going to take a lot for me to trust you." Y/n said, leaning her face more into Eddie's grasp.

"I completely understand. How about we go back to mine?" He suggests quietly, moving from his spot.

"I would love that,"

-

"You still haven't changed this place one bit." Y/n laughed quietly, plopping herself onto Eddie's bed.

"Not at all. Didn't want you to forget where anything was." He mumbled with a smile, pulling her to his side when he sat.

"Did you know that I was made for loving you, baby?" Eddie spoke, hugging y/n tighter.

"You are not quoting KISS to me right now," Y/n said in a fit of giggles.

"And if I was?" Eddie challenged with a raised brow, looking down at her.

"Well, I might just have to marry you," Y/n said, making Eddie's eyes glimmer.

"Then do it. Marry me."

"You're joking Eds. We can't." Y/n spoke up, sitting up from her spot on the bed.

"As serious as a heart attack. Marry me y/f/n y/l/n." Eddie pleaded quietly, sitting up with her.

"Baby steps Ed. I'm not saying no, just not now." Y/n mumbled, running her fingers through his hair earning an appreciative hum.

" Give me a timeline, sweetheart,"

"I don't know! I-" Y/n started to answer before being cut short by the phone ringing.

"I got it. you stay your pretty self right here." Eddie said, walking towards the phone.

"… Hey Harrington!" Eddie spoke into the phone, making y/n perk up.

Y/n starts to move off the bed, earning a look of disapproval from Eddie.

"Yeah man, she's right here." He mumbled, holding the phone out to her.

"Y/n. you scared the shit out of me kid!" Steve said frantically into the phone.

"I'm sorry Steve, truly. I lost track of time when Eddie and I got to talking, then we came back to his." Y/n spoke quickly, not tearing her eyes away from her feet.

"As long as you're okay, that's all that matters. Do you need me to come to get you?" He sighed into the phone, making y/n look up to Eddie's concerned gaze.

Y/n shook her head before responding quickly. "No dad, I'm okay. I promise that I will give you a call if anything changes, though."

As y/n and Steve bid their goodbyes, Eddie starts to make his way closer to y/n.

"You're staying?" Eddie asks softly, barely reaching out for her.

"As long as you'll have me, Mr. Munson," Y/n said, closing the gap between the two of them.

" I want you forever."

"And ever?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"I'm glad it didn't take you ten years."

the end. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Hello!! I was rereading Little Favors (for the hundredth time now probably, it's just so good and wonderful and always gives me butterflies when I read it) and getting to the part where Kol says that he's never been anyone's best friend before just hit me so hard. Like when was the last time he'd been able to just be around someone? To be able to nerd out about magic without it being a life or death situation? To just have fun with people he can trust won't stab him in the back? It all just made me want to wrap him up in a blanket and let him relax and have fun.

(On a slightly lighter note, I was listening to the song Seven by Sleeping at Last and the whole restless wanna see and know and experience everything really reminded me of Kol)

Sorry for the ramblings, it's just every time I read your fics I just get so many thoughts and I had to share. Thanks for being your awesome self! -🍪

Okay, first of all...

Second of all...

Thirdly, you are so right! I thought it was so, so sad that we never once saw Kol make an actual friend without any drama or ulterior motives to hide. I mean there's that undefined period of time during which Kol pretended to be friends with Jeremy Gilbert but, honestly, that's just more sad. It's why I headcanon that Kol has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. It's highly likely that he believes he has to create an entirely different personality in order to be liked or cared for or loved - that just Kol himself will never be enough for anyone, that no one will ever love him for who he is instead of what he can do for them. Of course, he had Davina, but that relationship was drowning in drama and hidden agendas from the very start. Though she forgave him for abiding by Esther's mandates seeing as he really didn't have much of a choice, Davina still only associated with him after that for his "witch encyclopedia brain". I think that's just incredibly sad.

Edit: This rant was originally much longer but this post got messed up by Tumblr. I'm not sure how, but it did. Anyway, Anon, if you're still willing to associate with me after this train wreck of a post, I just wanna say that I listened to Seven. I love Sleeping At Last, but I'd never heard that song before and I LOVED it! You're absolutely right, serious Kol vibes there. Somebody should make an edit to that song. Not me bc I'm not good at editing and I'd never be able to do it justice, but SOMEONE NEEDS TO!

Also, never apologize for rambling. I can't express how much I love your asks! I want to hear every single thought you've ever had about my fics, or about the fandom in general. Heck, I'd love to hear what you ate for lunch today and how your day is going! Thank you so much for being here and supporting me. You're amazing and I love you and I hope you find a random treasure trove of free change in your pockets next time you do laundry!

Until you ask again!

[hyperfixation-hideout]

Do you remember sending me an anonymous ask telling me to stop tagging RWDE in my posts because you were upset?

You sent me anonymous asks twice, defending RWDE.

Now tell me...why on earth are you accusing other people of sending anonymous hateful asks to themselves, when you have literally sent anonymous asks to the very people you are accusing?

Do you even hear the cognitive dissonance in this?

Do you want proof of the first time I was impersonated?

I can provide not only a Twitter Link, but a Tumblr post. Where the person who accused me later acknowledged that it was an imposter.

Or you can embrace tunnel vision and think that any time you've sent me or somebody else an anonymous ask, that person was sending them to themselves and it was never you?

If you believe anything about somebody you don't like, then you will fall for everything.

Now my friends and I are working on building up evidence to prove my innocence. that person already accused them of being me.

But then again, you refuse to believe that anyone would defend us. That bias of yours is why you are so deadset on believing the worst of others.

Drop the tunnel vision. Drop the hyperfixation on the bias. And start trying to see if impersonation is possible.

I'm going to try find a way to prove how those discord screenshots were doctored.

uh, no, I do not remember that. If this is Canonseeker talking,

A) everything I said to you was off anon

B) I didn't tell you to stop tagging rwde, I made a generic post saying that posts tagged "anti rwde" still show up in the rwde tag, making it so the tag is flushed with hate, when it was created to avoid hatred and vitriol from people like you who harass anyone with a different opinion, as well as me letting y'all know if you tag with "anti rwde" instead of "antirwde" then rwde folks will see your posts and you may not have wanted that

C) come off anon yourself

D) Uh did you mess up that last sentence? Cause yes, your discord screenshots were absolutely doctored and very obviously fake. Oh, or are you trying to "prove" the post calling you out and debunking your lies was doctored? Cause, no... you're just defaulting to your oldest tactic: when accused, respond with "no, YOU did that to ME" even though that does nothing to counter the proof already exposed about you (you also just did that when going "well someone impersonated ME so you can't accuse me of making fake accounts!")

E) you're the one who targeted me, sending yourself anon hate and tagging me in it with "THESE ARE THE PEOPLE UR DEFENDING??" when I had clearly stated several times that I did not defend hatred or harassment of any kind. You then started tagging anyone who agreed with me in this hate, even after I asked you to stop.

F) what happened to your asks/replies telling me I'm "one of the good ones" who makes "thought out and kind critiques"? What changed besides me calling you out for the harassment and bullying you've engaged in for years?

G) That's not what hyperfixation means. Look it up and learn about ADHD before throwing the term about willy-nilly, please

The only part of this ask I'd potentially be willing to take at face value is the part where you got upset for me claiming you send yourself anon hate. You're right, that's something I don't technically know. (idk why you assumed whatever anons you're referring to are me). But there have been enough instances of you clearly pretending to be someone else, including a time you've ADMITTED to having done so. Regardless, even if you didn't do so, that doesn't undo any of the awful stuff you have verifiably done. Countless people have shown evidence of your lies and hate, and I wanted to believe they were wrong, but that time of hopeful ignorance has passed.

I am an understanding person who gives the benefit of the doubt, as well as second, third, and hundredth chances. I want to see the good in everyone, including you. Time and time again you've shown that if we give an inch, you take a mile, and use our kindness to further harass anyone who dares stray from your own opinions or interpretations. And I don't mean 'harass' as in 'sending a mean anon', I mean repeated hate, slander, and block evading, making fake accounts just to continue trying to make people's lives miserable, etc. I tried to give you a chance and extend that opportunity for you to listen, grow, or change, but you won't admit any wrongdoings, and that's a nonstarter.

[If you're not seeker, I have no idea who you are, and as such do not know where to go from here. Come off anon or message me privately if you're someone else, and I'd be more than willing to have a conversation with you about this.]

PS: Something funny I've laughed about many a time -- even after all that's gone down between us (aka you being hateful and lying about me and me explaining to no avail since you refuse to read), I'm still on your list of positive rwby blogs to follow. Which is extra funny, because you linked that list in your answers to hate anons you tagged me in, going "here are some GOOD rwby blogs to follow" with me on it. As amusing as it's been, I'd like to be removed when you get the chance.

[bellveela]

Luna slapped her again, leaving a burning red mark on her cheek.

"Who is this, bitch?"

"M-Master," Padma's voice turned into a whimpering whisper. "D-Daddy. Daddy has control over my pussy. I w-want him. I want his control. Please."

Luna held her tightly by the face, mocking her cheek and ear. "Do you feel clever now, bitch?"

"No. No. I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid."

From this display, this dominance of one beautiful slave over another, Harry found it harder than he knew how to handle.

Right in the middle was a bed. He tore the door off its hinges and tossed Padma into the cabin and onto the bed. Luna circled around them both, tauntingly holding Padma's arms.

"Please, Daddy," Padma pleaded, spreading her legs wide for him. "I'll do anything you say. Please, make me regret being so stupid."

He would do it.

Harry decided to do what was necessary.

Beneath him, an eighteen-year-old freshly baked Hogwarts student and his fiercest rival intimately competed with their mouths for the thick, heavy space of his constantly hard cock. Luna and Padma, respectively, did everything to please their Master.

"It's so big," Padma murmured in delight, probably for the hundredth time. Her plump lips were engaged at the tip of his cock. "I can't believe how big it is."

"That's because you're a stupid bitch." Luna pushed her aside and slurped Harry down, showing Padma how it's done.

Both girls were naked. Their clothes were in tatters. One thing they seemed to agree on was the regret of not being in sexy outfits for their Master; both were extremely distraught that they didn't have high heels to wear for him. Everything else, however, seemed to be an excuse for Luna to find fault in Padma, and Harry only fueled it.

It was the morning after the day he woke up to find that nearly every woman he encountered in his town wanted to sexually serve him. The day started with his much younger sister-in-law giving him a blowjob, directed by his wife. At work, his secretary served up her barely legal stepdaughter on a sexual platter, strongly encouraging the girl she raised to be a "good girl" and receive skullfucking from an aroused Harry. When he sought help from his closest friend, Hermione, she seduced him into fucking her brains out.

That was the first piece of the puzzle. Up until this point, it felt like he had been transported into some bizarre pornographic film with an obsession with training barely legal teenagers to serve his cock. But Hermione clearly dominated the men who came to her office, even going so far as to legally consider them women's slaves, divorcing them in completely frivolous arrangements. Strangest of all, she had a special tattoo just above her pussy.

He wouldn't think much of it. Too much to think otherwise, when every woman - apart from becoming his seductive playthings - transformed into a true superheroine bombshell with magazine cover-worthy wardrobes. But then, through a turn of events, trying to escape the madness to clear his mind, Harry managed to end up in this cabin in the middle of the mountains with two other girls - his worst enemy and a random teenage hitchhiker they picked up - both begging, whimpering, and working to please his cock.

And both, just like Hermione - and he could only imagine, just like Narcissa, Fleur, and the rest of the women he had seen - had the same tattoo just above their pussies.

Luna was a jealous plaything, even though his cock had significantly grown in girth and length over the past thirty-six hours. She often pushed Padma to the side. When Padma managed to kiss, lick, and bob to take over the plaything duties, Luna choked her - stroking Harry's head, gripping the bulge he made in Padma's throat - until Padma turned purple and had to yield to Luna. Padma, surprisingly submissive, only whined and begged, kissed and licked in return for her own turn.

Much of the venom had disappeared from Luna's attitude towards Padma, but it was no less toxic. She still incessantly judged her for ever being against Harry; he suspected it was for the same reason both girls constantly called him Master, especially Daddy. Luna called Padma a stupid bitch because it really, really turned him on.

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