#i cant even say what the fuck i saw because it was so vile it has my agnostic ass believing ill go to hell if i say it out loud

[crazylittlejester]

people are getting way to comfortable on the fucking internet good fucking lord i might actually delete tiktok this time

[amitytaylor]

I truly think the writing of MHA is superior. Full stop.

But why do i think so? Let’s get into a part of it. The bubbly atmosphere that hides the “ugly/evil/dark” and just how twisted this story truly is.

Let’s start with the doctor.

the fact that the doctor Garaki (a play on the name Shigaraki that was originally AFOs) says this

we see in Dabis flashbacks that they had MULTIPLE children they were grooming to be AFO heir.

Think about that again : the demon lord, a man who can live twice as long as another man (due to Garakis quirk) had this DOCTOR(who we know of as being a pediatrician bc of Izuku) KIDNAP CHILDREN AND HOLD THEM HOSTAGE TO CAPATALIZE ON THEIR TRAUMAS AND TURN THEM INTO A HOST BODY FOR AFO. They had a whole ass hide out where multiple children lived and were told to make it their own home. They didn’t even have names! CHILDREN!!!

That in an of itself, in reality in the modern world, is HORRIFIC! Imagine if today we learned that a pediatrician was kidnapping, grooming, and holding these children to make them “child soldiers” basically or an even better way to put it is toys for the powerful to do with as they please. WHAT THE FUCKING EVIL INCARNATE RIGHT?

NOW! think back to the two children that followed baby bakugo around and the wing quirk that was stolen. While simultaneously thinking about Kurogiri and the fact that Garaki was actually “hoping to get his hands on erasure” - so how did they get their hands on Kurogiri original body? Did they set up a situation where they knew one of the UA children who get hurt/killed and then waited to take advantage of the deceased?

I mean if we think about it, Giraki is quite literally ravaging these children’s bodies. VIOLATION ON EVERH LEVEL. and for what? for AFO? to get hands on quirks? for one person?

How far do you think they were willing to go to create the Nomu? If they are willing to use deceased children’s bodies who’s to say they hadn’t use live children’s bodies? ESPECIALLY BEFORE AFO WAS CAUGHT. WE SAW THEY USED LIVING ADULTS BEFORE?! is it that far of a stretch for them to try it on children? absolutely not.

MHA is dynamic. It’s about hope and friendship and love and family trauma and societal trauma and it’s also the most vile shit i’ve ever read. The way Bones studio portrays a bright blue sky is both irritating when not following the manga but also a HUGE FUCKING POINT! BECAUSE - we have all these amazing things we see, hero’s, quirks, friendship, family love, all the typical shonen stuff. That to me is the bright blue sky. WHILE COMPLETELY OVERRUNING THE FACT THAT ITS ALL BUILT ON BLOOD.

We know the big theme between Deku and Tenko is about the shit that’s pushed under the rug to make society livable for 75% of the population while 25% is left to suffer. (% is probably off). but if you really take a look at this theme and follow it along the path of the manga it’s TERRIFYING.

As a person who lives in the USA where our country is quite literally based in the suffering of the many for the luxury of the few it is CHILLING TO SAY THE LEAST.

NOT TO MENTION THAT AFO (if my theory he gave Tenko the quirk is correct) PREYED ON THE MOST VULNERABLE GROUP OF PEOPLE - THE QUIRKLESS AND CHILDREN

Izuku, Aoyama, and Tenko were all quirkless.

The writing makes it seem like it all just happened, but it didn’t. AFO meticulously planned every step out like he’s mentioned before but to AN UNNERVING ASS DEGREE BRO.

All For One needed a persons body who could still FEEL THINGS. BECAUSE HE CANT ANYMORE. or could ever? He has no real will of his own or real emotions or feelings. he is the true embodiment of “psychopath” (outdated term but helps to paint the picture)

I wouldn’t even think it’s a stretch to believe that AFO played a role in Kotaro abusing Tenko with what we just saw in the latest chapter. I mean they were like best friends? and it’s confirmed afo is the same person who dropped tenko off at home.

The sinister feeling of this manga as we continue to go forth is incredulous.

I didn’t even TOUCH ON the Dabi and AFO issue. I mean, how did he know Toya was on that peak? How did he know he would be there thst day? How did he know he would likely burn himself alive? How did he know about the abuse going on within the Todoroki family?

FUCK MY BRAIN THE CONNECTIONS ITS EVERYWHERE 😭

[thesunfyre4446]

Yo. New to the HoTD discourse. I hope you don't mind me rant dumping on your blog. I'm a bit scatterbrained so I hope I lay out my feelings about these things clearly. I have finally watched HoTD and ....

Listen, I could have liked Rhaenyra well enough, in fact I didn't really mind her in the beginning. But it really all changed once I saw what the audience were saying. How the majority seems to have no sympathy for Allicent at all.

I thought we all understood that no character in Westeros is really all that great?? So I really cant understand the vile hatred spewed towards her? It feels like they even hate her more than anyone ever hated Joffrey or Cersei. People were rightfully angry with the show runners decision to have Jaime r*** her in that one scene. People were capable of feeling empathy for Cersei despite how despicable she is. But there's SOOO much victim blaming for Alicent. It drives me fucking nuts. And to show sympathy for her would have people dogging on you.

I really cannot believe my eyes when I see people thinking she willingly seduced that rotten walking corpse.

I was so naive to think people would understand where her character is coming from. She is utterly powerless. She doesn't have a king for a father to pardon every mistake she makes. She's suffocating and it makes sense for her to hate Rhaenyra who has more privilege than any woman who ever lived in that world, and yet still step over every single rule while expecting everyone else to just live with the consequences of her actions. We're supposed to like her??

I GET that the point of it all is that monarchy is just a shitty way to run a kingdom. I GET that Rhaenyra being a terrible ruler is the point. Man or woman it never mattered.

What I don't get is people thinking she's some feminist figurehead?? She behaves as a man does in that universe, entitled and unfit for what they feel entitled to. I get that that's the point, but that doesn't mean she's for the women at all. Like any man, she's out for herself. Why would I like her if she behaves as any corrupt man in that world would, when the only difference is she doesn't have a dick? And I wouldn't necessarily mind that? I don't watch HoTD or GoT for perfect characters. But if only the audience didn't treat her like some sort of hero and Alicent the pure villain.

I never felt frustrated with GoT discourse. Why the fuck does it seem like HoTD has bred this extremely toxic environment? You can't seem to have a different opinion unless your mouths dick sucking on Team Black.

Dany, just as entitled as she was, she was still able to do as duty demanded. Rhaenyra is a just a spoiled child all the way through. The hatred for Alicent and the inability for people to see Rhaenyra for what she is, has me thinking people have really missed the fucking point about what feminism actually is. And once again, I didnt watch HoTD for feminism. But the audience seems to think Rhaenyra is a beacon for it. Wether intentional or not, ideas take on a life of its own and you cannot divorce these fan-imposed ideas from the show anymore. That's really the part of all this that pisses me off.

I'm TG now not because I condone everything they've ever done. Literally everyone fucking sucks. I'm TG because I understand everyone fucking sucks. And I dislike being tube fed by the biased writers on what to think and feel.

anon, not a single lie was told.

people hate on alicent for displaying human emotions. it's insane. it's always "rhaenyra will turn westeros into barbieland" until someone brings out the fact that she has no intention of helping any other woman other then herself and then it's all "well, we shouldn't judge her from a modern day pov"..

"I'm TG because I understand everyone fucking sucks" this!! also, they have better characters lol

[mcl38]

they haven't quite turned on vcarb the way they did mclaren but from what i've read that seems to be bc daniel keeps saying "it's not the same problem as mclaren" when like idk dude if the only time you've finished a race ahead of yuki was bc you got put on softs at the end of the race it is smelling very shades of mexico '22 to me. just without the having to make up a time penalty bc u punted yuki off the track.

i can say yuki is already getting the lando treatment though. "hOW MANY RACES HAS HE WON AND YOU DARE SAY HES PERFORMING BETTER THAN AN 8 TIME GP WINNER?" (ya i'll go to the top floor of my apartment and shout it into the void through a megaphone too what are you going to do about it) only this time there's a heavy dose of racism added in. the amount of people i have seen calling yuki a "pokémon" derogatorily and refusing to admit the racist connotations there are wild. not to mention the ableist terms i've seen be used to refer to his height. it's all very gross and yet again daniel says nothing to even try to prevent it. it's wild how someone always has to get harassed by his fans regardless of if he fails or succeeds.

ok so like first of all yikes. i rly rate yuki but im v selective w my online (especially my tumblr)

experience so i rly almost never venture out of my mclaren-centred bubble, which means i never rly see what ppl say abt him. 'pokemon' is actually vile like thats so clearly racist bc its not even a pun of his name at all or any sort of reference to his personality?? AND the fact that its a cartoon w the infantilising implications of that... ku's essay on the infantilisation of east asian drivers u will always be famous.... like u guys ever noticed how nyck is also rly short and has a youthful face and nobody ever talked abt him in the way they talk abt yuki? much to think abt

now. permission to be mean here but even if its 'not the same problem as mclaren' is the problem not STILL the fact that daniel in his 10+ year career hasnt bothered to understand the way the engineering of f1 cars works in like any material way and thats the reason he always struggles to identify his driving issues / has a disconnect with his chassis unless its tailored exactly to what he already likes and knows how to drive? i saw that bit from newey's book about how max and checo give rly good feedback and so did webber and vettel and it was kind of subtly implying that during the bit in between (the daniel era) he designed less effective cars be he wasnt getting enough precise feedback.... i genuinely havent been able to sleep at night since. like it felt like smth slotted in my head like aaaah this has been the problem all along. if only daniel wasnt so busy going on podcasts making fun of the idea of women in motorsport and actually spent some time to do some way overdue physics homework... lol. Imao even

the truth of the situation is yuki is in the best form of his career and also wiping the floor w daniel. like factually so. EVEN with team orders favouring daniel so his fans cant say its bc of that like they did with mclaren. i genuinely think its quite sad the amount of personal stock daniel fans have clearly invested in this mans career and how much it bothers them when he doesnt perform to their expectations - like he's ur driver, swallow it and accept it, because thats what he's been doing to try to move on. doing all this intense online hate bullshit only makes him look bad bc it highlights how badly and for how long he rly has been embarrassingly underperforming. but by this point it feels like they WANT him to underperform bc they crave that martyr underdog victimised figure to root for and fight for - which is why ur totally right anon, that someone always inevitably gets harrassed regardless of if daniel is failing or succeeding. 

i will say one thing which is that i rly dont think daniel is at all aware of whatever the fuck his fans do on twitter and instagram (and deffo not tumblr lmao). so i dont think this is an issue of like him telling his fans to chill out - and it doesnt work anyways, bc lando literally has made talking abt how much cyberbullying sucks a part of his personality and theres still some rly mean and hateful lando fans (not in a fun way like me<3 lol) (i hate on my own blog and in discord groupchats). so like thats not necessarily on him, its more on netflix for making him the lowest common denominator guy to like, ykwim? also the unfortunate reality is that despite the tshirts and the kneeling (or no kneeling) no one rly seems to stand up to defend the drivers of colour who literally constantly get SUCH vitriol thrown towards them w any occasion. im not expecting daniel of all ppl to say anything abt it ngl

[primetimes-primetime]

alright. so, i know ive already made a post about this on my main, but im stupid and went to the original tweet and just made myself angry again.

TW// T-CEST UNDER THE CUT

alright, so a couple days ago i rbed a screenshot of a certain story board artist's tweet about being the one to put tcest in the show.

i dont know why or how, but i found my way onto twitter and to the original tweet that this guy made.

for context, sheldon here was a storyboard artist for Rise and the scene they are talking about here is this one from the Lair Games episode-

i partially explain again why this is horrible and disgusting and partially why i dont believe or accept sheldon's... i dont even know what to call it. his response (the top post in the first screenshot)

part one

since i literally just rbed something about this, im just going to copy/paste my rb and add onto it a little.

" no but when i found out that some of the artists who originally worked on Rise were t-cesters and proshippers i was actually so fucking pissed off.

there are part of this community that are actually god damn disgusting, and im not afriad to say that tcest is fucking rancid and if you support it i dont want you near the content that i create.

first of all, it is literally incest. it says so right in the name. which, i really hope i dont have to explain why incest is bas in the ripe year of 2022. I don't care that they arent "blood-related". They were fucking raised as brothers, treated like brothers, and think of each other as brothers. No matter how hard you try to spin it, no matter how hard you argue that they arent technically related, you have to understand that they see and think of each other as brothers, which should be enough to make this incest.

this show was amazing when it came to family dynamics and brotherly love/trust/bonds. i can say with confidence that the brothers in Rise are much more brotherly/closer than any other previous versions. it's obvious to see that they love and care and want to protect one another. to turn platonic and love for one's family into something so gross and vile is taking all of the healthy emotional bonds between these characters and throwing it out the window.

i cant fuckung believe i have to say this every time i come back into the tmnt fandom, but-

THEY ARE MINORS.

sure, with the recent Rise movie we saw an adult leo, but heres the thing- that version of leo is fucking dead. he literally got fucking beamed out of existence.

the fact that every one of these brothers are under the age of 18 and i still see so much nsfw art is absolutely horrid.

finally, it's a kid's show. sure, many of us in the community are teens, later teens, and grown adults, but that does not change that this show was originally created to bring the tmnt franchise into yet another generation of kids. again, i sincerely hope that i dont need to explain why implying incest in kids shows (or really any TVs shows, for that matter) is morally wrong and vile.

literally yesterday me and some of my mutuals had to go through a lot of our content to re-tag a whole bunch of our posts tagged with "tcest dni" because tumblr's tagging system is actual shit. there shouldnt even be a tcest community, outside of it impeding on the rest of us Rise fans.

sorry this is such a long post but im so tired of seeing / hearing about tcest. its gross, disgusting, icky, etc etc. it is 6:30 am and i woke up and saw this and decided to fucking say something, because tcest has actively made my experience coming back into the tmnt community and fandom worse. "

and i still stand by that. seeing so much tcest- and from the artists on the rise crew, no less- is making my journy back into the tmnt fandom so, so much worse. it is actively hurting a lot of people- which brings me to one specific tweet from this thread.

so, to start- i do not, i repeat- DO NOT condone or promote sending death threats to people or telling them to kill themselves.

second- it isnt. harmless. reminder, again, that this is a

CHILDREN'S. SHOW.

you are talking about MINORS IN INCESTUAL RELATIONSHIPS. "harmless fiction" my ass.

part two

ok. so as you can see in the original screenshot, you can see that sheldon is passing this off as a joke. but i honestly cannot believe him when he says this.

why, i hear you asking. well,

look at the time stamp. 2020, nearly three years ago now, when the Lair Games episode had just come out.

why didn't he say it was a joke three years ago, when he first posted the storyboard clip? because he isnt fucking joking. either that or he is just really so fucking dense that he doesn't realize that what he's doing is not funny in any way, shape or form.

which brings me to my next point.

even if it is all just a joke,

why the fuck are you joking about minors participating in fucking incest?

its fucking nasty even if it is a joke. i genuinely shouldnt need to say anymore on why this is fucking horrid.

well. ive taken up enough of your time- i appreciate you reading to the end and i apologize for making this so long. a quick, final word in case you got this far and are a tcester or support tcest-

kindly fuck off, do not interact with me, unfollow me, and block me :] i dont want your nasty ass incest anywhere fucking near me or this blog.

thanks ! :D

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Ok but as someone who was not born nor raised in America until much later in life, I need to know, what the fuck is y'alls obsession with serial killers?

The context of this question is not important, but I'll still talk about it cause I need to talk about this encounter. So I'll just have it under a read more for those who want to understand where I'm coming from with this.

So theres this girl in my philosophy class who I unfortunately went to high school with, and on it's own I cannot stand this girl so already her shit on very thin ice with me. But anyways, this girl is notoriously obsessed with serial killers, like extremely obsessed, to say that in high school she wanted to make an entire group research project about how oversexualization in the media contributed to serial killers, which on it's own is a lot to unpack, nevermind the fact that nobody in our group saw it had anything to do with anything. But yeah, extremely obsessed with sk. So what happened was that at some point in my philosophy class a few weeks ago, our professor brought up something that ended up spiraling down a rabbit hole about cannibalism, and this bitch decided to bring up Jeffrey Dahmer and was basically saying how he was her favorite serial killer and how interesting he was like. Which like maybe from a psychological perspective but to say that hes your favourite serial killer? Like yo, are you fucking hearing yourself? Thankfully the prof cut that shit short. Buttt fast foward to today, my professor brought up the dilemma of better and worse desires, and his example was a man needing to eat and a man wanting to kill. And you guessed it, this bitch went, "do you mean eat as in cannibalism like dahmer?" And everyone just went yo what the fuck (verbatim, the guy behind me said that). And she went on about dahmer. So the prof once again moved on to a different example. Then at the end of class, the guy behind me asked her what was her obsession with dahmer, which yeah rightfully so, and she once again said he was her favourite serial killer, and then the guy went on to compare dahmer and Bundy I guess in mortality or how successful their methods were, which by then I was about to check out. But what really made me question this girl's sanity was that she went to explain in detail one of dahmers very gruesome murders and acts of cannibalism with absolute casualty, like she was stating a fun fact. By then I went straight out the door, and I guessed the guy followed my example because he followed after me and left her talking. Which like yeah no, I wouldn't want to listen to her serial killer infatuation any longer either.

And the fact of the matter is that this girl is not the only girl who has this morbid interest in serial killers, like at this point with the amount of documentaries and stylized movies/shows that have been made about REAL LIFE sk (mind you when I say real, real people who murdered real people who still have living family members, or maybe even victims that might still be alive, those people are fucking real) I think these hideous men are just romanticized to a point that is disgusting. Like the amount of people I've seen that are obsessed with the new dahmer show is absolutely sickening. I personally like crime shows, and shows like mind hunter where they used actual police procedures while exploring the hideous nature of these killers do a really good job at showing it without romantazinting it. And I'll even listen to YouTubers talk about and analyze notorious serial killers, but that's it. I dont inquire more, I dont go researching about every single crime, about every single kill, and i sure as hell dont go researching every single detail about someone so vile simply out of curiosity or interest. And for similar reason, things like the dahmer show or the netflix Bundy movie are just things I cant get myself to watch because it feels entirely different, it feels like with them being front and center, you're supposed to understand them, get inside their heads because to some extent it interests you. But it goes too far cause it's one thing to look true crime and find their psyche interesting from a psychological or criminology stand point, but it's a completely different one to find genuine intesterest in said hideous acts when you're doing it solely for your own curiosity and interest, and not because its your job, as it may be the case for a criminal psychologist, forensic or law enforcement. Like you're gonna tell me that knowing how someone decapitated another person, kept the head and then fucked it is valuable or interesting to you? A 14-18 year old has no business being so deeply invested or obsessed with these sk, especially when they show absolutely zero regard for the victims or the impact those disgusting people had on those they hurt.

The romatization of sk and killers in general is a fucking problem and you can't fucking tell me that it's not.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk babes.

[ghost-of-the-machine]

just saw a button that says "im not myself today. maybe im you" SHUT UP....... dont remind me!!! theres a specific shame in it that no one seems to grasp, which makes sense, when do i ever explain it?

it feels so. shameful, even though i know i cant help it, even if its just my natural tendency, its like. i want to RISE ABOVE my disorder, but.. i cant. its a personality disorder, it defines my personality. having back to back personality/dissociative disorders is so fucked up man i do not know who i am!!!! my only worth of myself comes from what other people tell me. am i sweet? am i kind? am i funny? at surface level i believe it, thats how i seem to others so it must be true... but beneath that i detest it, i feel rotten to my core. it feels disingenuous since its coming from others instead of within, so i feel like im hiding something. like theres some part of me thats so indescribably ugly and vile, and i cant let anyone i love see it. even when theyve already seen it, i hide it further, i pretend like its not real. i forget long conversations full of understanding and love, i embrace the fact that i need to hide this thing, this monster. there is no monster!! its just me, and that makes it worse.

isnt it horrifiying, though? i take the voices of others, take their mannerisms, sometimes i even take their skin, i shape myself in someone elses image. realistically i know why, mimicry keeps you safe from rejection, people are less likely to throw you away if you act like them. you are more likely to be accepted into a group if you mask and mirror. you pick up on their vocabulary, their personalities, and you display it back to them. but theres more to it than that, i spend too much time abusing myself over things i cant control, in the hopes that itll fix me. its not like i do it just to endear myself, i do it because i like it. is that worse, then? i like when i copy, i like the way people are!! i wanna be like the people i like, is that bad? i cant tell, i see it from both sides. it makes me feel dirty. i really dont know who i am

am i still the angry boy i was in middle school? that was me right? maybe it wasnt me, maybe im new.. if im new then who am i? am i the me i draw? the me i project out to others? who would that even be?? it seems no matter what, i remain dissatisfied with how everyone sees me, like theyre not seeing ME... but how can i know what that should be if i dont know myself? its like its locked somewhere within myself, but ill never be able to open it up, never be able to wear the skin i was meant to wear. i think it has nothing to do with the usual suspects, nothing to do with gender dysphoria, social anxiety, no. my mind is made of barriers and walls, im hiding from myself. i want to see it, dont i deserve it? its me after all.

to other people i must be someone right? so why does it feel so wrong? its not me, its wrong! surely its wrong? idk man. it makes me tired, i remember a couple years ago i managed to completely convince myself that i existed in a box and the box wasnt real, the whole time i was completely dissociated from my body, imagining one of my self inserts instead, crying and panicking because i wanted to get out of the box it was. MESSY, but when i calmed down i realized i was so worked up cuz i didnt know myself

for years ive worn the clothes my family picked, i didnt even know i could change my hair, i thought it wasnt allowed. i didnt have any self expression whatsoever. i was a husk, a shell of a person. to the point where now when i buy a piece of clothing, or i do ANYTHING with my appearance, i feel this.. it feels like such a big deal to me, and no one else really cares cuz hello? yr supposed to do that i guess, but i was 18 years too late. i have no sense of self cuz ive never explored myself, i thought it was against the rules. i dont know why i thought that, but its fucked me up i guess. i feel lost, i feel aimless. and im sucked back into that familiar feeling, i feel empty

[our-inspire-verse]

I am! Not great again! Why I'd did that. Stuff /VeryNegative under the cut

Just. Jesus fucking christ when will these flashbacks stop. I SAW myself die again. And then i also, MORESO have to watch Alder find me again and again. He fucking. Kept yelling my name. He kept calling for me, desperate. He was so hurt. I was already cold. He couldn't do anything, it wasnt his fault. But he tried so hard. And then he sat there for so long.

How could i have not known. Twice. There was an attempt in my timeline but thank fucking GOD i failed. Can you fucking imagine I'd succeeded? Was it better he was alone? What would it have been like if Dan and Cadance were there and i succeeded? Because they helped him when i failed. But something broke in the other timeline within him. I can see it in the way he put his hand on my shoulder. That was something he did in our lifetime, he'd just gently stroke my shoulder. It grounded me, it was affectionate, it felt really nice. I can sense the thoughts in his head. "He can't feel this now"

I've been gone for hours. I probably was before he ever could have made it home. I was alone in my room like that for sO long and i died afraid. Thats all i can think about was how afraid i was. I didn't think anyone cared about me, i know i was more isolated from Dan in this universe. I know i was more cruel to myself. And knowing these are facts of how these things work is one thing. Actually seeing where that switch over was, thats another. The way that allowing love into your life saves you in impossible to know ways. You have to allow people to love you.

You will die without it.

And knowing i didn't have a chance to be saved in this one. Knowing there was a real possibility of it going bad, it wasn't just a silly cry for attention written by a sad artist. It was the possibility of my mental health taking over and ruining my father's(chosen) life. It was the fact that i do have an impact on my future and i have to decide to have one. Theres nothing i can do to help either damned soul now, there's something so uniquely heart shattering about having to live with grief like this. It is not mine, it is of mine. It is of me. It is a holy sensation that i regard with vile distaste. The feeling is important, more important than a lot of things.

Growing up this life i never thought i would live past 10. Then a lot of other numbers. How original. How horrible. It actually is horrible. Desensitization makes. These numbers these thoughts, its hard to recognize im sad about it since its so normalized. But being 7 and suicidal isn't. And i cant believe i carried that and my past life all this time like this. And now that im so aware, ill carry it differently. I can't believe i lived so long. I cant believe im gonna KEEP living so long. I havent felt genuinely suicidal in ages. I can be real, and say the idealization is there, but it's more about the fantasy of getting help for it. But recieving memories like this reminds me of how bad that hurt. For decades. And how bad it hurt alternate or past selves, and those loved ones there. I'm so sorry Alder, i desperately wish there was anything i could do. To take it back, to help heal, to love you better than i did. Your cabin stayed empty, my room stayed where it was, and you stayed alone. Dan stayed over, but not much. You never got to know Cadance. You met briefly and never became friends.

I did all of that. Everything was actually because of me. I can't take that right now. I was resting and these memories wont stop. It's incredible though. How bright the sun is from up here. How even though pain burns more intensely than it usually does from this height, so does the love. How much the love permeated in every crack and crevice last life. How i let the light in and hope filled us all up. Even during loss and pain and torture, even losing each other. It was okay. Because at least it happened.

[catnherthoughts]

valentines day 2/14/2023

we finally have an end to the story of the man from the party. I think I knew this was coming all along. through the entire 3 month duration of us. I had os much hope. i thought he would finally be the one that would break the cycle. that he cared and loved me. part of me wants to believe that he does still care. it doesn't really matter anyways. the cycle took its toll on me once again. after being used as the object i so apparently am, I was seen as crazy and I am to be never contacted again. I stayed in this dreaded town for the weekend in order to see him, spend at least 24 hours with him.watch a few movies maybe, kiss, enjoy being in each other's company. i'm not dumb, i knew we would have sex. after waiting and waiting i saw he was at a party and flipped out because i had been waiting for him all day. the resentment in his demeanor is something you can only realize once you look back. the way he could barely look me in the eye. the way he criticized me. the coldness towards me. It hurts a bit to think back on so I won't. Of course i let him do what he wanted to. even if he disrespected me. did i expect a man to come over to apologize and simply appreciated being in my presence? ha. i cant say that i didn't want to as well but there was just this feeling of emptiness that followed. afterwards when we were laying down. i could tell he didn't really feel anything towards me. there were some moments during that just made me inner child break. There were things i did not feel like doing, some parts that made me feel uncomfortable, whatever. but i thought if i fucked him in the way that he wanted he would care about me enough to be the man I wanted him to be. never. he couldn't even give me the courtesy of responding to my text asking him if he got back to his dorm safely?? what did he see in me? was i too crazy again. did i express too many emotions. I was drunk im sorry i revealed too much of myself. just come back, hold my hand. It justs makes me feel as if no matter what i do i will never be seen as someone that can be loved. always the girl you can fuck but never the one who you can hold tenderly. i dont think i deserve that. I want to feel like I matter. it feels as if ill never be loved in the way i need. why survive then? why keep putting the effort in to try and be happy and live life if i can never achieve my main goal. the thing is he was so good at making it seem like he actually liked me. he would text me all night, he would tell me how pretty i am, etc. now after looking back i am realizing that for the most part the only time love was mentioned was when he was describing how much he loved fucking me. But if i cut myself over this im the one in the wrong. im so sick of having to take it. having to deal with it and pretend like it doesn't affect me like some sort of person made of steel. it hurts and i can't pretend like it doesn't anymore. the fourth man to use me for my body. at this point its not even mine anymore, tis their's. I won't let the thing they took from me live on anymore. I won't allow it to be pretty so they can look me up and down like some trophy they earned for manipulating me in just the right way where i thought that if i gave them it, they'd finally love me. the sickest thing is, part of me wants him to come back so bad. maybe if i fuck him in just the right way one more time he'll see me as someone who he could love. my friend's tell me that I'm out of his league and that he is ugly whatever. I think thats worse. someone that vile still had the power over me to get what they wanted. i just want to be loved and I don't that is too much to ask for. Today maybe i will do it. or maybe ill cry. maybe ill show up to his place of residence screaming. nothing will really solve this issue. he doesn't love me. i dont think anyone will. now i just have to live with the fact that i was in fact used once again. another body with nothing to show for it as a wise man once said. my lack of self worth is really showing, coming from another woman. I need to kill myself, this sort of world is not for me.

[mari-the-bimbo]

Bro, you got me OBSESSED with dormmate Sukuna (I read it all in one go)! You're so talented, god fucking dammit I love your writing!

I do have a request though but please feel free to say no if you don't like it, but I'm a thirsty bitch for some angst so could you make a dormmate Sukuna where he gets into an argument with the reader and say some mean stuff in the heat of the moment and she leaves? Like, she takes the car as leves, vanishing without saying another word and he doesn't know if she's okay or anything like that, and you can finish with some fluff idk I just had this idea while taking a shower lmao

Dorm mate Sukuna: the storm brewing

A/N: Is it even a series if I don’t randomly add angst before the confessions? 😼Thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy! <3

“Oh boy” Yuuji sighed as he exited the dorm. He knew the storm was coming, Yuuji already heard the news about Sukuna beating up one of your male friends and as he watched you make your way over to Sukuna, he knew it was best to stay out of the incoming mess.

“- you can’t just beat people up Sukuna, all he did was talk to me”

The tatted, unbothered dorm mate shakes his head. “Everyone knows he’s a fuckboy y/n, it’s not that deep”

“No he’s not Sukuna. And he wasn’t even flirting with me! He was asking about my day because he’s my frie-“

“Aren’t you the one always complaining those college boys annoy you? Shouldn’t you be thanking me?” He asks dryly as he takes a puff of his cigarette tiredly.

“No Sukuna! I won’t thank you for beating up of friend of mine!” You snap.

Sukuna is stunned into silence. Then a crease formed in his eyebrows, why were you getting so defensive? Can you not just have some trust that he did it for a good reason and leave him alone?

But that was the problem. Sukuna himself knew there was no good reason.

Only a bad reason. The reasoning of him wanting to kill any man that looks your way lately. The reason that repressing his romantic feelings for you was starting to consume whatever pieces of sanity he had left.

“Why did you do it?”

Why did he do it? Because he doesn’t know how to process his feelings for you? It confused him, frustrated him and your insistence was only driving him more mad. He needed to be alone and figure it out. Your questions started to sound like a headache.

But he wasn’t the only one going mad. Rage filled your body as you watched your dorm mate ignore you and groan as he rubbed his head instead. It’s almost as if he saw your feelings as irrelevant. If only you knew the real reason.

“Sukuna hello???”

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to cancel out your voice, it’s the last thing he needed right now. God please just stop-

“Sukuna im asking you a question!”

“AND IM ASKING YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He roars, throwing his cigarette on the kitchen floor.

Now it was your turn to be stunned into silence.

“YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING WHORE YOU KNOW THAT? I HELP DRIVE THOSE BASTARDS AWAY FROM YOU AND YOU COME BACK CRYING LIKE A BITCH NOW THAT YOU CANT GET THEIR ATTENTION ANYMORE” he screams.

Silence fell upon the room. All that could be heard is Sukuna heavy panting after his string of vile words. Vile words that he knew weren’t true.

You stare at the man in front of you. You don’t see your loving, manly dorm mate who you have feelings for, just a selfish, violent man. And suddenly you realised you didn’t want to be in a room with such a man.

Before you turned away, you saw the instant guilt in his red eyes as he watched a tear fall from your eyes, but it was too late.

“Y/n-“

“Save it”

And those were the last words Sukuna heard from you as you left the dorm without a word.

Sukuna slumped back into the chair in defeat at the sound of the door. What has he done?

Rough fingers pulled his dishevelled pink hair in frustration as his mind flashed pictures of your teary eyes.

Sure, he’s made you cry before, whether it was pulling your hair, or eating your food, but never heartbreak. Never that. He was supposed to be your hero, not the villain. He was tired of being the villain. For once he was just supposed someone’s beloved. But now he ruined that too.

He wasn’t going to look for you, he’s done enough damage already. He always knew he wasn’t good enough for you. Today he proved it.

To think all of this could’ve been prevented if only Sukuna understood love.

[buckmepapi]

really need to talk about something real quick but what the fuck?

tw below for seriously fucked up fic writers writing things that no one should be reading  

i was on ao3 last night and i clicked the noncon tag bc tbh ive been reading more noncon stuff and enjoying it i think it’s because ive been victim to a non con situation myself but also ive been victim to prolonged physical and mental abuse and have c-ptsd because of it so when im reading a reader fic that features it for me it feels cathartic and i enjoy it bc its like im in control? idk if that’s how others feel but yeah 

so any fucking way, im on there searching through that genre because i didnt know you could, so then i discover you can filter it through fandoms and relationships etc, so i couldnt see a reader one at first so i filtered with original characters bc sometimes people on their mark reader as both reader and original characters but when i did that all that was coming up was original work and i was like goddamn it, i scrolled through but i cant for the life of me read original work like that bc it doesnt feature a reader, so it’s not me and so it’s not me in control like it feels fucked up reading about someone else going through it if its not me who WANTS to read it anyway i come across one that had the most disgusting title after i realised what it was about and no im not going to repeat it, i look at the tags and i think is that really what i fucking think its about like????how are you still alive after writing something so vile like you actually deserve to have your head bashed in and so does everyone who even likes it or reads it...

i click on it, because i noticed it had comments, i scrolled all the way down so i couldnt see any of the fic bc honestly no id rather not subject myself to something so heinous like i just wanted to see wtf these people are saying in the comments because this is the first time my new to fanfics reading and writing ass has ever ever heard of this i was not even aware it was a thing at least i hope its fucking not and this was just a one off person who did this, but literally all of the comments were people saying “that’s so hot” etc and other shit, and only 4 sane people obviously seeing it bc they follow the non con tag i guess? and commenting on it saying “what the fuck is wrong with you” , “you should be in jail” and other insults and im just mortified that someone would write about something like this and people enjoy it????

i didnt even read it and i feel ill because i unwillingly saw the tags and title and that alone has made me feel triggered and i just my mind can not comprehend that there is a select group of people in our community that write about this? is this a thing? i actually want to cry like legitmately its upset me 

so after that i discovered you can exclude tags, so i excluded the underage tag which i didnt even know was a fucking genre, but this person wrote an extremely underage fic like im talking smut about you know, im not even going to say the word in the same sentence like how is that allowed on ao3????? how are these people allowed to breathe? if you’re writing about that why are you thinking about innocent kids that way??? are you having thoughts like that around kids???? seek fucking help immidiately??????? like why is this allowed on the site????? those tags should be banned because i did not want to fucking see those tags at all 

idk im rambling because i cant comprehend this, is this really a thing???? why are these people allowed to live????? who writes about babies, yes babies was apparently what it was about according to the tags, but im not fucking reading it to check and judging by the 4 sane comments i saw it was actually about that 

i dont even know what to say, fuck this person who wrote it, fuck the people who read it, and fuck ao3 and its creators for allowing that on the site and those disgusting tags - tags dont work to warn people if the tags themselves are triggering fuck you you horrid cunts 

[witchthewriter]

I had this exact conversation with myself about spike a while back actually. Because Spike was always in my like, top 3 buffy characters and I've watched buffy since I was maybe 13.

Seeing Red is one of those episodes where really, theres not a right or wrong response. If you despise spike, you are entirely correct and valid, no one can disagree really.

Me, I've always leant more towards the side of not forgiving, what he did was heinous, but more just trying to realise. 📢AND A BIG WARNING I DO NOT CONDONE WHAT SPIKE DID IN ANY WAY ITS DISGUSTING AND REPREHENSIBLE AND I AM NOT FOR ONE SECOND PRETENDING TO JUSTIFY IT!📢

Firstly, I will never stop forgetting that joss only put that scene in because he was sick of the popularity spike was getting, and james marsters (and I'm pretty sure sarah michelle Gellar) now has it written into contracts that they will never do another scene like that again, coz it apparently traumatised James and sarah. So a big nice fuck you to joss Whedon 🖕🏻

Secondly, I have always thought of the acts of seeing red as a little out of character for spike, but not entirely out of explanation, let me explain. At this point in the series, Spike has no soul, he is convinced he loves Buffy and the two of them have been in a pretty toxic, run by sex relationship for a while. In my mind, I always used Seeing Red as a catalyst for his soul restoration because he realised probably one of two, if not both things.

1. Without a soul, he is hurting those around him. Look how how shocked he is when buffy kicks him off. He realises that she is hurt, distraught, understandably so, and he realises how evil what hes just done it. A regular old soulless vampire wouldnt have burst out the door and ran off when she started crying, but that I cant fully explain.

2. He could never have buffy 'love' him while hes like this. He is convinced that he adores and loves buffy, whether its true love or vampire selfish love, I think we can all tell (selfish, obviously), and her telling him she would never love someone like him gave him a kick up the ass so to speak.

And obviously then comes into play whether a vampires soulless and souled actions are the actions of one being or two seperate beings (like Angelus and Angel for example, did Angelus kill miss calendar and angel had nothing to do with it or did Angel kill her, do you get me?) Spike, pre-soul was a harmless poet, and honestly I cant speak on post-soul spike because I havent seen buffy season 7 in a long time, but if I remember, hes remorseful. If you see Spike (the soulless vampire) and Spike (the souled vampire) as two beings or one whole, that will also heavily explain your feelings.

But once again, I am not condoning or trying to justify what spike did, its heinous and vile and cruel and disgusting. I'm merely posing a theory for a situation that really should never have even been a thing, but loathing spike as a character after this is something entirely valid and understandable. For this one niche situation it really comes down to your own idea.

Oh my god, I totally agree with everything you're saying. I looked up the episode, saw the interviews and read so many articles.

Joss really did hate that Spike was so popular, and I think I saw in an interview with James, that Joss wanted the audience to stop loving him so much. To make them see that he isn't/wouldn't be a good boyfriend.

I don't know understand why you would want to do that to a character that makes the show so popular?

It's very ... weird? Interesting? Wild? That in season 6 what happens to the characters is based on what the writers themselves have experienced. They said they wanted to show the worst of the characters and Joss had the writers say the worst thing they've done/had done to them and honestly ... why would he ask that of them ??

So I'm anti-joss whedon!!! (Also I love having conversations so if anyone ever wants to chat, I'm ready and waiting 👍

[fcb-mv33]

Sorry if you don’t care about this kind of thing but I like your take on things and I need to say it somewhere. Like you may not agree with me but I am curious of your take on Mclaren.

I don’t think Mclaren are trying to sabotage Daniel in anyway. I want to make that clear as I don’t see how it would benefit them to do so. However, I have issue with how they represent Daniel online sometimes. Like Daniel apparently had issues with the rear of his car during yesterdays race… but this is only mentioned after the end of the race and on the Mclaren app. Most people don’t seem to know this or have only learnt it after someone mentioned this. I get every team has a favourite or number 1 driver, but that doesn’t mean defend one driver and not the other - obviously we could see Lando was sick and they explained it, but literally no mention of Daniel’s issue. It bothers me more especially with the amount of abuse I’m seeing him now get. after imola was disgusting and it seems to only be getting worse for what I’ve seen. And then they have the deleted tweet which, I don’t think was meant to come across badly, was in poor taste (not sure if you saw it, but it was a where’s Waldo thing but with Daniel but when he was behind Lando and out of points… considering the deleted it, they realised how in poor taste it was).

I’d like to point out, I do like Lando (my favourite British driver) and I have nothing against him, it’s more about the team rather than him.

I also don’t think he’s gelling with Mclaren - at least not that Tom guy from what the radio messages show who he needs to so maybe he needs a new race engineer… - so while I’d love Daniel to keep driving in f1 cause he’s a good driver, I’d rather he retire or go to another team than try and stay with them (likely he won’t after 2023 anyway considering Zak really wants an American f1 driver by the way its reported and he talked about it…). Just needed to say that somewhere as most people who criticise Mclaren on here are immediately assumed to be of the opinion that “mclaren hates Daniel” which isn’t try - some people just have genuine questions about some of there actions.

Ohh okay I like this!! I will be v honest i don’t get overly involved with the drama at other teams, im a Red Bull girl they are who I’ll defend but I have been seeing the drama surrounding Mclaren.

So personally I agree, they aren’t sabotaging Daniel BUT they are also not giving him good strategies. I mean his strategy in Miami was laughable and also his quali strategies make v much no sense. I don’t like the little comments being made about Daniel from Andreas which there has apparently been a few little bad comments made. I didn’t even know Daniel had issues with the car and the fact they waited till the end to let people know is ridiculous. I have seen the abuse Daniel gets, its vile and awful and people need to realize there is only so much he can do with a car he isn’t vibing with.

I do like Lando and like you he is my favorite British driver, I think he is the driver in the team who is getting the preferred strategies ONLY because last season he really excelled in that car. I don’t like Tom at all, I don’t think he is in anyway a good engineer for Daniel but I think Daniel feels somewhat good at Mclaren and I genuinely would not see the point of them sabotaging Daniel. Every single team has a number 1 and number 2, with Mclaren they aren’t wanting Daniel out if the points each weekend…and yes maybe they are giving Lando the number 1 preferred strategies but it means nothing to them if Daniel cant get in the points, so I couldn’t see why they would sabotage him?? But they aren’t giving him good ones…and I really don’t know why unless it just them genuinely fucking up….

Honestly I think next season is Daniels last,…I don’t know where he could go and who would want him…

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Five years ago, the women on this site who treated me like trash over loving Labyrinth and shipping Jareth/Sarah were almost always obliviously consuming Radfem propaganda, or were out and out Radfems/Terfs themselves.

They were the types of people who casually threw the word “pedophile” around against grown women who shipped an adult Sarah with Jareth, aka literally one of the most popular ships for women in fandom for 30 years.

Pretty much invariably, these women had serious sex-negative anxieties, which included a severe paranoia about any and all kink and fetish, and porn in general. I saw a lot of shocking, fear-mongering propaganda surrounding sexual expression. Pretty much invariably, their method of approach involved immediate personal shock-value attacks on anyone they perceived to be “bad.”

Today, you can look at the way some people react to other popular so-called “problematic” ships and recognize the same toxic, fear-mongering rhetoric coming from women who consider themselves regular, trans-inclusive feminists. Sometimes it even manifests in the words of very well-meaning people (including myself here), who feel the need to talk about specific issues that pertain to their own experiences of trauma and oppression.

The people who shit on Labyrinth often seem to not really be able to comprehend that the Goblin King, like the film itself, is canonically a representation of a teen girl’s psyche, a soup of fears and anxieties and desires and dreams. He’s not a literal human adult preying on a literal child, and to read the film that way seriously undermines the entire point of the film. 

When I (and people of many fandoms) say “This is fiction, calm down,” I’m not just saying it’s not real so it cant hurt you and you can’t criticize me. I’m trying to call attention to what fiction actually is - artistic representations of feelings and experiences. The Goblin King is Sarah’s fiction. Therefore, he can be anything she or any woman who identifies with her wants him to be, including her lover when she’s grown and ready for such a thing.

I once took an alarming dive into Beetlejuice fandom to see what content was there (the cartoon was a favorite when I was little). Chillingly, what you’ll find is an extremely wounded fanbase, with a sharp divide between the older women who had long been shipping BJ/Lydia because of their love for the cartoon series (and whom were previously the vast majority of the Beetlejuice fandom), and a massive amount of young people riding the wave of the musical fad who had decided that the entire old school Beetlejuice fandom was populated by literal pedophiles. 

I saw death threats. Suicide baiting. Constant, constant toxic discourse. It did not matter how the BJ/Lydia fandom dealt with any particular issues that would exist in their ship, in fact I’m certain that the people abusing them cared very little to even consider if they were trying to handle it at all. The only thing that mattered was that they were disgusting subhuman scum asking for abuse. If you have at any time reblogged recent Beetlejuice fan art or content from fans of the musical, you have more than likely been engaging positively with the content of someone participating in toxic fandom behavior.

Nobody is really sticking up for them, either, as far as I saw. It’s really hard to imagine how painful it must be to have such a large group of people explode into into your relatively private fandom space to tell you that you are evil, vile, and deserve constant abuse, and also you are no longer allowed into the fandom space to engage in it’s content. But I think there’s something very alarming indeed about this happening specifically to the BJ fandom, and I’ll explain why. 

The pop-culture characterization of Beetlejuice, which is heavily influenced by the cartoon series to be clear, has always in my mind been a vaguely ageless being who matches with the psychological maturity of whatever age Lydia is supposed to be. He’s more or less like an imaginary friend, a manifestation of Lydia’s psyche. In fact, I would argue that i think most of us who grew up with the cartoon or it’s subsequent merchandizing before the musical ever existed probably internalized the idea as BJ and Lydia as this ageless, salt-and-pepper-shaker couple beloved by the goth community, similar to Gomez and Morticia. In each version of canon he may be a creepy ghost in the literal sense, but any adult who is capable of identifying literary tropes (even just subconciously) would read cartoon!BJ as an artistic representation of a socially awkward outcast girl’s inner world. Lydia’s darker dispositions and interests, which alienate her from most others, are freely accepted and embraced by her spooky magical friend. BJ/Lydia in the cartoon were depicted as best friends, but to my memory there was always an underlying sense that they had secret feelings for each other, which I identified easily even as a small child. In fact, their dynamic and behavior perfectly reflected the psychological development of the show’s target demographic. They are best friends who get into adventures and learning experiences together, who have delicate feelings for each other but lack any true adult romantic/sexual understanding to acknowledge those feelings, let alone pursue them.

Though I haven’t seen the Musical yet, I’ve read the wiki and I would argue that it embodies this exact same concept even more so for it’s own version of the characters, in that Beetlejuice specifically exists to help Lydia process her mother’s death.

This is not a complicated thing to recognize and comprehend whatsoever. In fact, it looks downright blatant. It’s also a clear indicator of what BJ/Lydia means to the women who have long loved it. It was a story about a spooky wierd girl being loved and accepted and understood for who she was, and it gave them a sense of solidarity. It makes perfect sense why those women would stick with those characters, and create a safe little space for themselves to and imagine their beloved characters growing and having adult lives and experiencing adult drama, in just the same ways that the women of the Labyrinth fandom do. That’s all these women were doing. And now, they can’t do it without facing intense verbal violence. That safe space is poisoned now.

Having grown up with the cartoon as one of my favorites and been around goth subculture stuff for decades, I was actually shocked and squicked at the original Beetlejuice film’s narrative once I actually saw it, because it was extremely divorced from what these two characters had evolved into for goth subculture and what they meant to me. It’s not telling the same story, and is in fact about the Maitland's specifically. In pretty much exactly the same way two different versions of Little Red Riding Hood can be extremely different from each other, the film is a different animal. While I imagine that the film version has been at the heart of a lot of this confused fear-mongering around all other versions of the characters, I would no more judge different adaptations of these characters any more than I would condemn a version of Little Red in which Red and the Wolf are best friends or lovers just because the very first iteration of LRRH was about protecting yourself from predators.

I would even argue that the people who have engaged in Anti-shipper behavior over BJ/Lydia are in intense denial over the fact that BJ being interested in Lydia, either as blatant predatory behavior a la the film or on a peer level as in the cartoon (and musical?) is an inextricable part of canon. Beetlejuice was always attracted to Lydia, and it was not always cute or amusing. Beetlejuice was not always a beloved buddy character, an in fact was originally written as a gross scumbag. That’s just what he was. Even people engaging with him now by writing OC girlfriends for him (as stand-ins for the salt-and-pepper-shaker space Lydia used to take up, because obviously that was part of the core fun of the characters), or just loving him as a character, are erasing parts of his character’s history in order to do so. They are actively refusing to be held responsible for being fans of new version of him despite the fact that he engaged in overt predatory behavior in the original film. In fact, I would venture to say that they are actively erasing the fact that Musical Beetliejuice tried to marry a teenager and as far as I’m aware, seemed to like the idea (because he’s probably a fucking figment of her imagination but go off I guess). The only reason they can have a version of this character who could be perceived as “buddy” material is because...the cartoon had an impact on our pop cultural perception of what the character and his dynamic with Lydia is. 

We can have a version of the Big Bad Wolf who’s a creepy monster. We can have a version who’s sweet and lovable. We can have a version that lives in the middle. We can have a version who’s a hybrid between Red and the Wolf (a la Ruby in OUAT). All of these things can exist in the same world, and can even be loved for different reasons by the same people.

I’ve been using Beetlejuice as an example here because it’s kind of perfect for my overall point regarding the toxic ideologies in fandom right now across many different spaces, including ones for progressive and queer media, and how much so many people don’t recognize how deeply they’ve been radicalized into literalist and sex-negative radfem rhetoric, to the point where we aren’t allowed to have difficult, messy explorations of imperfect, flawed humans, and that art is never going to be 100% pure and without flaw in it’s ability to convey what it wants to convey.

This includes the rhetoric I’ve seen across the board, from She-Ra to A:TLA to Star Wars to Lovecraft Country. We don’t talk about the inherent malleable, subjective, or charmingly imperfect nature of fiction any more. Transformation and reclamation are myths in this space. Everything is in rigid categories. It is seemingly very difficult for some of these people to engage with anything that is not able to be clearly labeled as one thing or another (see the inherent transphobic and biphobic elements of the most intense rhetoric). They destroy anything they cannot filter through their ideology. When women act in a way that breaks from their narrative of womanhood (like...not having a vagina), then those women must be condemned instead of understood. Anything that challenges them or makes them uncomfortable is a mortal sin. There is an extraordinary level of both hypocrisy and repressive denial that is underlying the behavior I’m seeing now. Much like toxic Christian conservatism, these people often are discovered engaging in the same behaviors and interests that they condemn behind closed doors (or just out of sheer cognitive dissonance). As an example, one of the people who talked shit to me about Labyrinth was a huge fan of Kill La Kill, which to my knowledge was an anime about a teenage girl in like, superpowered lingere (hence why I stayed the fuck away from that shit myself). Indeed, they even allow themselves plenty of leeway for behavior far worse than they condemn others for, and create support systems for the worst of their own abusers. 

Quite frankly, I’m tired. Instead of talking about theoretical problematic shit, we need to start talking about quantifiable harm. Because as far as I can tell, the most real, immediate, and quantifiable harm done because of anybody’s favorite ships or pieces of media seems to consistently be the kind that’s done to the people who experience verbal violence and abuse and manipulation and suicide baiting and death threats from the people who have a problem.

[elliesbaby]

Ellie x F!reader

Short imagine of a tender moment with Ellie. 

warnings: kissing, knife mentions, 

You know the worst part about a zombie apocalypse? The pure loneliness. Especially when your friends and family all died in front of you. When you realize your life has been the only one spared by this intruding soul sucking virus. I guess that's where this story starts. I saw clickers tearing into my family members and i was frozen. Stuck in place out of fear and my sudden loss. It was only us this whole time. We weren't in a huge group, we survived taking care of one another and the sudden thought of knowing i was now alone pushed me to my knees. I look up seeing one of the vile clickers running towards me and i don't budge. I'm ready. Until i hear gunshots coming from behind me and a hand pulling my arm out of the building. 

     "Are you okay?" The girl yells out. I look up to see her face and i freeze. We have a moment of just staring at each other with a shocked look on our faces. I didn't know her but Holy Fuck she was ethereal. Her dark auburn hair tied up, her green eyes piercing through mine and her height almost towering over me. Within seconds everything that just happened hit me and i shake out of the admiration state i was in. "Yeah fine" (Y/N) states. The girl explains " Well shit my names Ellie and i don't know who you are but right now we better go find a safe place to go because a giant hoard is coming through." I just nod following her.

    As we are walking i realized i never told her my name. "My name is (Y/N) by the way" The girl called Ellie just looks back at me shooting a smile my way. She starts asking me questions which i know is because she doesn't trust me but hell, i don't even trust her. She asks me if i knew the people who were being ripped apart by clickers. She asks if i'm with a group. After she finished up her questions she seemed more comfortable around me, knowing i'm not a threat. Trusting me when i have no proof that i'm not with anyone. Maybe it was the broken look in my face that makes her believe me.

  After about 30 minutes into walking we find a quiet neighborhood to find a camp in. I point out a bright purple house among all the grey and brown houses that line the street. "I mean come on how could we not chose THAT house" (Y/N) says with a giggle. Ellie looks over at her and laughs "You're pretty funny for an almost dead girl" She says. I glance at her and pout disregarding her poorly timed humor. Whenever we made eye contact it always lasted longer than eye contact should. Its like we were trying to figure out why it felt like we knew each other when we have never met. "Well lets go scout out your purple paradise" Ellie says with a scoff. 

  We jump into the basement through a broken window. On the way way down i scratch a big gash into my cheek on the broken glass. I fall down and let out an "OUCH" as the pain of my face hits me. Ellie rushes over to me asking if i'm okay and just then a clicker comes and grabs Ellie's face pushing her down into the ground. I reach for my switchblade and grab its head. I sink my blade into its face pushing it aside, I fall due to the force of pushing the oddly overweight clicker aside. I awkwardly fall right on top of the girl. I see her blushing face knowing mine would be too if it weren't for the blood already making my cheeks red. "Oh i'm sorry" (Y/N) awkwardly says. She just gently put her hand against my face, accidentally touching my wound. The pain makes me fall back and wince. "Im So sorry" Ellie says out of embarrassment. (Y/N) states "Its fine lets just search this place" 

You both uncomfortably get up and start looking around. Making sure no walkers are lurking. It seems safe enough to start barricading and setting up a place to sleep. You keep brushing past this girl and every time you do you feel intense shock going up your body. Who is this girl really? Why do you feel so comfortable around her? Why does your heart beat 10x faster when she gives you that side smirk? Why do you want to push her against the wall and feel the warmth of her lips against yours on this cold night? She catches you staring.

"Whats wrong" She says

"What do you mean?" You say looking down eating a bite of some bread you found in your bag.

"You're looking at me like i either have something on my face or because you think i'm cute" She says with a sarcastic undertone and a giggle. 

"What! No!" (Y/N) says instantly blushing and shoving a huge chunk of bread in her mouth. Clearly not hiding the fact that she thinks Ellie IS cute.

"Oh shit you do think i'm cute don't you? I was only joking" Ellie looking at (y/n) shocked. 

"Listen Mrs...... Ellie" You say in a jokingly manor. "Sure you're cute but you seemed more worried about that then the fact of the giant hoard passing through." You say deflecting.

"Alright ha ha you got me, on a real note can i patch up your face? Your gash looks like its staring at me" Ellie proclaims. 

You look at the girl and cant help but laugh. She really is weird isn't she. "Fine." You say with a small smile. She walks over to you and puts her hand on your chin, moving your face towards hers. You cant help but look at the freckles on her face with admiration. She really is the cutest girl you've ever seen, even if it was the end of the world. She uses a cloth and peroxide to clean your wound. She pushes your hair behind your ear and attempts to bandage your face. "She knows what she is doing right?" You think. She then grabs your face gently with her hands looking down at you. You couldn't take it anymore. You craved her for some odd reason. 

You grab the strings of her hoodie to pull her face down to yours. "What are you doi-" You shut her up with putting your lips against hers. A part of you feels like you've waited your whole life for this. You've kissed a couple girls before. But nothing felt like this. This random girl you met who saved your life is now kissing you. It feels so right. You pull away afraid you've made her uncomfortable you say "Listen i am so sor-" You feel a hand at the back of your head pushing you towards her lips. She clashes her mouth into yours. Slipping a tongue into your mouth kissing you even more aggressively than before. She pushes you onto your back now sitting on top of you as she pulls away she says "It was my turn to shut YOU up."

notes:

Sorry its short yall. I'm thinking of making a part two to this and turning it into an nsfw story picking up where it left off. Just need yall to let me know if that's what you want.

[randomsevans]

maid to be part 3

Ransom made his way back to his family with a small smile due to you being on your mind . He slipped into the living room , where his family were waiting for him . The food long forgotten and not eaten  in the room next door .As most of the family were stood up with a glass of what ever drink was going around . 

Ransom didn't want to hear the pathetic whines from his mother nor his uncle . So he made his way over to the corner , where he spotted his younger cousins Jacob and Megan . Yes he hated his family , but his cousins was the most bearable .With Megan hating the family just as much as him , and well Jacob just sits their quietly on his phone ... so Ransom never really fought with him , Apart from this one time when Jacob made his way upstairs and almost caught you and Ransom . But Ransom played it off by shouting at both you and Jacob in his cruel dickhead way .But of course you didn't take it to heart , it wasn't the first nor the last time  he acted that way to you with his family around . 

Ransom sighted , straightening his blue knitted sweater before sitting down on the oversized ,chair , that was so unconformable . He moved around on the seat , eventually getting some what comfortable places his armed on each side , bring one of his fist to lean against 

“is she okay ?” Megan looked up  from her college book for a second to Ransom , only to go back to it 

“huh !” Ransom responded , tired from his family already , he had some much on his mind , and you were at the front of it as always , as well as the pressure he already feels from soon to be a father . 

“Y/N is she okay ?” Megan asked once again closing her book , Megan made it her job to know all the helps names , she didnt like having other on her beck and call , and calling them “the help “ 

Ransom decided to play dumb and show off his arsehole personal “who ? the maid “ 

Megan glared at him in annoyance “you know their have names right Hugh , not just maids or the help “

Ransom just simple shrugged his shoulders “oh well “

“why did you even help her , she only hurt her self a little i dont see you do that with anyone ?” she narrowed her eyes at him , it caught the attention  of Jacob bring his head from his phone looking from one cousin to the other 

“oh well you know me Meg i see something pretty , i wanted it and i take it “ he let out a little  dry chuckle “its amazing how a girl can open up to you if you show them a little bit of kindest “ Ransom smug smile played  happily on his face . 

Megan looked at him in disgust and her face scrunched up , while Jacob snicked at his older cousin “your disgusting Hugh , she would never go any where near you , she actual has self respect you know !”

Ransom chuckled at his self , if only she knew , if only all his family knew , That you were indeed already his , and he is your ever since he wanted you , he couldn't get enough , he never looked at another girl since , and that was well a year ago . But Megan was right you do have self respect which is why you wanted nothing to do with Ransom at first , but after months , And Ransom means MONTHS , 4 long ones , you finally agreed to allow him to take you on a simple date . You didn't wanted anything fancy or expensive . So you and Ransom spent your first of many dates at a park , just simple walking and talking . 

“sure its never stop me before i always break them in the end . And its RANSOM and the help calls me ...

“HUGH ! yeah i know “ Megan said getting up from her seat . “ you really are vile piece of work “ she barked as she walked away exiting the room 

“why thank you very much “ Ransom said amused , watching Megan walk towards the kitchen . His eyebrows shoot up curiosity , as his lips tighten 

“why does she need to go into the kitchen ?“ 

Ransom shot up and made his way back to the kitchen he was in moments ago . 

as he  got closer he heard mumbles of voice , as he hide around the corner 

“ i mean it y/n “  megan’s voice boomed 

ransom sighed shaking his head “what is she still doing down stairs she needs to be up there resting “

Ransom heard you delicate laugh that fluttered his heart  , he took  a quick glance and saw you standing at the sink , with your hands in the water , scrubbing away at a plate  “god she never listen , so stubborn ,she  needs to learn that its not just her she needs to look after now its our baby too “

“dont you think i know that Megan “ you giggled 

“y/n his a fuck boy okay , if you let him near you , he will use you and then leave you and move on to the next chase “

Ransom let out a snicker , but he couldn't blame his cousin he was indeed like that ,   that was before you , and Ransom hoped and prayed you knew he would never leave you especial now you and him were staring a family together 

“ Megan i know okay “ you dawned out “ i promise okay im not foolish enough to follow under the charm of  Hugh Drsysale okay “

 A smug devilish smile came to Ransom lips as he thought “but thats exactly what you did ! look at my girl lying so well , im rubbing of on her , well  she is growing a miniature version of me anyway “

if you had told Ransom a year ago that he would be in love and looking forwards to becoming a father , he would of laughed in your face , And if you said it was to the help well , you would simple end up in ER by the end of it . 

“ but y/n he has he eye on you “ megan stated 

and i was true , and its all Ransom would until his last breath 

“hes not going to st... “ 

“Who has an eye on y/n “ Joni interpreted her daughter as she stumbled in the kitchen from the other entrance 

“who is y/n anyway ?” she asked , megan pointed towards you as she rolled her eyes at her tipsy mom “oh the help ... who would want you “ she snarled . Ransom felt his blood began to boil at the way Joni was speaking to his girl 

“Ransom “ Megan simple answer . You cheeks become blushed with embarrassment , as you turned away from the sink , and began fiddling with the end of your apron and you become nervous . Ransom wanted nothing more then to wrap you in his arms and take you home , To spend the rest if the day sleep on the couch as Ransom babbles on about plans for the baby . As much as he tries to hide it Ransom cant help but be exited over the baby . That why his is so protective because if anything happened to you or the baby Ransom would loss the only happiness he has ever known . 

“pfff Ransom is many thing , a low life is one of them . But at least he has taste he wouldn't dare for for a fat , trampy ...” 

 before Joni could finish Ransom busted into the kitchen 

“say one more thing about me or her , and ill knock the Botox of your  face “ Ransom snarled ,fist  formed on his side . As everyone in the room , you , Megan , Joni and the rest of the help looked at him with wide eyes 

“pfff what ever you'll just get the STDs “ Joni wobbled 

“MOTHER !” megan shouted 

“you should know , how many people you passed it on to “ Ransom rage showing , as he stood right in front of Joni blocking her view of either you or Meg 

“WHY YOU LITTLE .....” Joni began to screech at the top of her lungs 

“What is going on in here !” Richard voice boomed throughout the kitchen , everyone glanced his way , seeing the rest of family moving into the kitchen 

“nothing “ megan answered as she went closer to you 

“pff doesn't sound like nothering “ Linda snirked downing the rest of her drink placeing her glass on the counter . starring at her son , who was clealry anger , as he starred daggeres towrads Joni with his fist still by his side turning white 

“son whats going on ?” Richard asks 

“yes id like to know that to “Walt questioned placing his hands on his hips  

Joni lened away from Ransom as her lip began to tremble “ i ... i dont know .. he just started ... on me “ Joni was trying to act all innocent , but it wasnt working on anyone as there all snirked , giggled with “ oh god “    “ here we go “    “ who is ready for the preference of a life tme “    “ oh mother “ 

But Ransom only lerned down towards his aunts ear , so only she could hear him “ i mean it joni say one more thing and ill tell Harlan were Megans college money realy goes “ he barked . 

Joni slapped Ransom full force around the face . The whole room fell slight , watching Rasom  wipe the little blood , form the small cut on his  bottom lip . Ransom smiple nodded his head and wnet to step forward with his fist ready , he didnt care if you were his family , his aunt , a women , she insuled his girl , called her fat when she is carrying his child . 

But just before Ransom could swing , you stepped inbetween Ransom and Joni , placing a hand on his chest while the other wrapped your hand around his fist and brung it down . While she starred into his blue eyes , that were iceberge forced on Joni , only to glance down at you and soft in to the blue ocean , that flashed with , conserin , guilt and above all love 

As the two of you stood there locked eyes with each other , the family looked at you two of you, squinting there eyes , amazed and confrussed on how you so easily calmed down  the short tempered , play boy . Harlan was rolled into the kitchen by Martha he looked around his family . He heard the screaming of couse , but he was beyonded confused on how silent his family , were as there all looked at Ransom . Harlans once eyebrows shoot up , at the way Ransom was looking at you . He shot at look up to Matha , who shrugged not knowing herself

“ oh great his fuckin the help “ Walt broke the silents lifting his armes in the air , shaking his head 

“fucked a baby into her too “ Ransom snarles , with a lovly smile , as he looked upon your shocked face , eyes wide month wide open . He just told everyone your biggest screate , you didnt know if you was to be anger at him or found it all funny . But how could you be mad at him and he locked eyes wit you stoking your cheek , as one hand went to you small blowed stomach , with love and effection . the room was quickly filled with screams , shouting and gasped 

“what !”

“HUGH RANSOM DRSYALDLE “ 

“hes joking right !” 

“that explain why his being acting weird “ 

“oh just like him to do that i bet she not the only one his knocked up “

“the help , and our family !”

“ you better be fuckin lying “ 

“OH SON !”

“SHE PROBABLY LIED TO HIM FOR THE MONEY !” 

“hes not fit to be  a father “

“there better get ride of it , “

“ Are you fuckin kidding me the help “ 

“so much of not going near him “

“of couse shes up the duff “

“ i never knew his stands where so low 

“really y/n “ 

you and ransoms just starred at each other slowing giggling with each other , that quickly turned into a booming laugh from the pair of you . the family grew slight , snarking at you and Ransom childish behaviour. While Ransom grabbed your hand , interwinding your fingers , as he gave you a knowing look , you simple nodded knowing what he was going to do  Moments later . You and Ransom were ranning through the halls of the manner , as Ransom held tight your hand as he dragged you behind him heading towards the front door , ignoring the shouts of the mad family 

END

But may add an odd one shot or two to the story in the future