#i cant read amazing fics right now for this reason.

[needle-noggins]

read two short little fics this morning and they were phenomenally written but that's all it took for the anxiety spiral to grab me by the throat

[moonchild1]

park jimin fic rec list (Ⅲ)

woah it really has been a long time since i posted but i am so glad to be back and to get back into reading i saw so many of my favourite authors have updated and i am beyond excited to start this journey again but in the mean time here's jimin rec list as promised it was so exciting finishing this list cause i got so nostalgic making it and reading all the old fics i had on my reading list ughhh i just loved it so much and it got me back into the swing of things and i cant wait to make more lists, i do have another jjk list ready and i will post it the day after tomorrow so i hope you enjoy this one and don't forget to show all the love and support in the world to these amazing authors they work so hard to create these fics for us and they deserve endless praise and love for the commitment and generosity they have so please do leave them a comment, heart or reblog a small comment can go a long way here and can make someone smile even bigger so dont don't shy away from making someone happy... as usual you guys know this fics i recommend contain smut so minors don't interact you will be blocked... i really do love hearing from you guys so if you do have a little fic you are super into right now and you just want to rant about how amazing it is feel free to send me an ask 😊🖤

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

plot twist by @xpeachesncream f s a

↳ jimin isn’t interested in fake dating, but he’s definitely interested in getting to know someone the right way. after all, he feels like he’s ready to put himself out there and give it all he’s got. so, he takes a risk in trying something completely out of his comfort zone and hops on the new, popular dating app - only to come across and get to know someone he didn’t expect to meet.

a remedy for mondays by @dovechim s

↳ all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.

it’s okay, that’s love by @/dovechim f s a deals with deep subjects

↳ People are constantly making some kind of connection with each other- be it friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications; commitment, sharing, driving people to the airport, letting them get up close and personal with the darkest parts of ourselves. And sure- it’s scary as hell to watch them cross those boundaries you’ve so meticulously drawn, but it’s okay, because that’s love.

so it goes by @/dovechim f s

↳ Park Jimin knows a lot about humans. of course he does, he studies them for a living. he knows that they say hello by holding hands, and when they say goodbye, they put their arms around each other. but this particular human, he notes, is unlike the rest- stuck in a slump, going about your day praying for the Universe to stage an intervention in the form of an alien abduction. when he decides to finally fulfil your wishes, he finds that you have a little something to teach him about what it means to live life on Earth the way you do: ugly crying, underwear and all. in return, he shows you the possibilities that abound if you simply adopted their mantra: everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.

love again by @taestefully-in-luv f s a

↳ A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

the other woman: the seduction and the illusion by @namjooningelsewhere f s a

↳ No one told you being the other woman would never be easy, No one told you that his love would be two sides to a same coin. No one told you he came to you because you were his escape to his demons. No one told you he would always call you his, but he would never be yours. And most importantly no one told you, He never loved you because you dont destroy the people you love.

FUTURE HEARTS by @jungblue f s a ft. jjk

↳ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook. 

after the applause by @foxymoxynoona

↳ Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.

saved by @to-star-lake s a

rockstar au deep subjects read warnings

midnight memories by @hobipaint f s a

↳ there's drunk habits, and then there's drunk mistakes. What do you call meeting your friend - no, ‘former friend’ - at a bar, getting drunk with him and sleeping- 'accidentally' - with him? especially when everyone already knows that you stay away from him as much as the day does from night?

Easy. You forget about it.

heartbreak chronicles by @sugaxjpg s

↳ Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well. 

drifting by@hongcherry f a

↳ After being assigned different partners for your midterm routine, your and Jimin’s relationship starts to deteriorate when you both begin spending more time away from each other and with your assigned partners instead.

growing pains by @taleasnewastime f s a

↳ Growing up the daughter of the boss of a gang is never easy, but normally the problems are around being given too many responsibilities, or the risk of being connected to a gang leader, or wanting to escape but not being able to. But you’ve got a different problem, you want more responsibility, want to be like your brother who’s been named heir, want a role in the family gang. Your whole life you’ve been denied what you want, being born a female seemingly your main issue; perceived as weak, naïve, trying to step above your station. But as unsupportive and dismissive as your family is, there is always the bright light that is Jimin; the boy you love but can never have.

tuqburni by @solastia f s a ft.myg

↳ You’ve spent two years building a life with Yoongi who you loved more than anything in the world. Now, his ex-boyfriend Jimin is back in the picture, and Yoongi begs you not to make him choose between the two of you, offering the choice of a polyamorous relationship. Though your heart is shattered, you agree.

stardust by @venusjeon f a

↳ struck by your beauty, Jimin begs to paint you naked behind the world's back so as not to stain your influential family—his patrons—with scandal.

drift by @snackhobi f s

↳ You used to think that there was nothing better than the sensation of coming first place. However, your rival- the talented, gorgeous, dangerous Park Jimin- is more than happy to prove you wrong.

the deli diaries by @jimlingss f

↳ Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.

best of me by @xotoosweet f a

↳ when he tells the story of how he met you in a few years, he'll claim that it was meant to be. you'll laugh and call it a coincidence. it was a coincidence that on the first day of summer semester, he decided to go on a run (though he claimed he always ran in the mornings). it was a coincidence that he chose a less traveled path in the university arboretum that morning. and it was definitely a coincidence that you were there, sitting on the rail of the river bridge.

the ten days of ex-mas by @kpopfanfictrash f s a

↳ Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

strip by @yoonia f s a

↳ Summary | Everything you have done has always been about surviving life and raising your child on your own. Having someone else caring about you was the last thing you had expected. Especially when that someone is the same man you have watched performing every night on stage and secretly admired. But will he run the moment he finds out about your little secret waiting at home?

falling by @/yoonia s a

↳ For Park Jimin, you are everything he will ever need—his assistant, his housekeeper, his task runner, his fairy godmother. For you, he is more than everything. You have dedicated your life for him and, before you even realised it, your heart belongs to him alone. The only problem is that he is never yours, and you are living in a world that your love for him is nothing more than a fairytale ending. As you are suddenly given a chance to wake up and face the real world, will you be ready to embrace it? Will he be ready to deal with the world without you in it?

wrapped around by @jjkfire ft. kth f s a

↳ Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type

baby, baby by @hobiwonder f s a

↳ When you’ve run out of savings to continue on to the last semester of your Bachelors - you take an unorthodox route. Helping a desperate couple have a child and getting paid for it? Heck yeah. But what do you know - it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.

love at first touch by bagelswrites (ao3)

↳ The first time you meet your soulmate, it leaves a bruise on both of you at the point of contact. From then on, your body begins rejecting any sustenance other than the touch of your soulmate. The trick is, the bruises take a few hours to appear, so you have to figure out who you've touched and find them before you starve to death. But once you do, all you ever need is them. So what happens if you're an idol and you meet your soulmate at a fan event?

our little family by @nightbts f a

↳ you were living a simple life filled with simple dreams; combining your two most loved things in life, children and teaching, you were starting out your career as a teacher at the local pre-school. but little did you know, how one child and her very special father, would change your simple life into something extraordinary

one-shot 35

brand new eyes by @missgeniality s

↳ Jimin’s eyes had potential to ruin you, and tonight you test the damage.

waves by @shina913 s

↳ It's Valentine's Day and your boyfriend decides to spice things up with a little surprise for you.

failure to communicate by @gukslut s

↳ Enemies to Lovers/ College AU

physical by @ppersonna f s

↳ you cant seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.

good for you by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids s

↳ Jimin can’t help the way he drowns himself in you. Why should he anyway?

ho-ho-home by @jjungkookislife s a

↳ Golden neighbor extraordinaire, Park Jimin, is (unintentionally) stealing your spotlight this holiday season. Despite your one sided rivalry with him, all Jimin wants is for you to remember him, to remember your past and hopefully create a future with you.

100km/hour by @chateautae s

↳ what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jimin’s lap? especially when he’s dressed as an angel, and you’re in the sluttiest devil costume ever?

what it's like by @jimilter s

↳ You’ve always heard great tales about how good the infamous fuckboy on campus, Park Jimin, is in bed, and wondered if there could be any truth behind these claims when the guy looks like an angel with his cheruby cheeks and precious smiles. So when a new gossip starts to circulate about how ‘hard he hits’, you have had enough of the suspense and decide to finally sample him yourself.

feel your touch by @/jimilter f s a

↳ You have always known yourself to be a sexual switch in bed, flipping between exercising and submitting control according to different situations and partners. And this camboy you are addicted to, one that seems to kinda reciprocate your interest, submits so beautifully that you just want to command him. But when things progress to levels you never anticipated, you end up discovering pleasant surprises that might just change your life.

the prince’s cinderella syndrome by @/jimilter f s a ft jjk

↳ He shows up at Halloween, every year, dressed the same, and leaves at midnight like some Cinderella. You would think he was a prankster if his eyes didn't look like they contained all the sadness in the world. You don't know him - no one on campus does. You don't know why he appears only once a year. You don't know why he never smiles. But you can't help falling in love with him. Even if he breaks your heart when he abandons you at midnight, again.

scream your panties by @opaljm s a

↳ As your midterms have ended and Halloween has arrived, you are looking forward to a pleasant time relaxing and enjoying the festivities at your sorority and Jimin’s frat houses. Luck is not in your favor, though, because things keep going wrong like a trail of dominoes falling – the only upside to your slowly deteriorating day being that you get to end it with your boyfriend’s delicious self between your legs.

first snow, last kiss by @taeshobipop f s a

↳ He broke your heart four years ago; the old loving memories of your time together now tainted by pure betrayal. Yet in the haze of new snow, after returning home for the first time, the moments you had once convinced yourself were nothing but a lie, reveal themselves to be otherwise.

antifreeze by @winetae s

↳ Jimin participates in the school’s adaption of The Nutcracker for extra credit but doesn’t expect his new dance partner to a) be this bad at dancing and b) be this fucking cute

what she likes by @untaemedqueen f s

idol au husband au marriage au

only you by @personasintro f s a

↳  you’ve been always there for your best friend, even when he became a single dad 

sucker by @/personasintro s a

↳ You wish you'd pay more attention to Jimin. Like, how his eyes kept changing color. How cold his skin was, too unrealistically to be natural. Or one second, he flashed you with his sharp canines and the next one he didn't have any. How much he craved for you, but not the way you thought he was.

please, lie to me by @ressjeon s a

↳ "centuries of loyalty vs. only months of fucking, how could you miscalculate?"

summer synchrony by @seokkgenie f s a

↳ childhood friends to lovers

neon seoul @readyplayerhobi f s a

↳ It the city of New Seoul, another homicide isn’t newsworthy but instead just a statistic. But when the son of the mayor is murdered in an alley in a shady part of the city? Then it’s important. You and your partner, Detective Park Jimin, are given the honour of investigating the crime. Will you find out who killed him? Or will you fail?

serendipity by @btsracket s a ao3

↳ It's serendipitous. Jimin braces for darkness but finds his light instead.

the boyfriend concept by @/kpopfanfictrash s

↳ Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.

Lovely Demons by @/kpopfanfictrash s a

↳ As penance for a crime committed long, long ago, the Witch Council banished you to the feared Tholoss forest. Your sentence was one hundred thousand days of solitude – or death, whichever came first. Your only hope of salvation comes from the demon names routinely sent your way; creatures who escape the inner circles of Hell and pose a threat to the mortal realms. For each demon you kill, days are removed from your sentence. For years you’ve existed, biding your time, until one morning you receive a name which throws your entire world into chaos: the name of Park Jimin, High Prince of Hell himself.

blue blood by @joonbird s a

↳ “Prince Jimin was born with blue blood. His coronation is rapidly approaching, but there are two requirements he must fulfil before becoming a king. He must have the skills to fight in battle, and he must have a Queen with blood as blue as his. You, a member of the royal guard, are assigned to teach Jimin the ins and outs of combat. You are not scared of death, of blood, or of battle. What you are scared of however, is falling in love with Jimin, the one man your blood decrees you can never have.”

i want to be with you by @oddinary4bts f s a

↳ moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?

locked in love by @parkmuse f s a

↳ Getting locked in the mall on Christmas eve isn’t ideal, but getting locked in the mall with your brothers best friend that you haven’t seen in a while? Well, it might have been alright if you didn’t have feelings for him.

peaches and cream by @snackhobi s

↳ you wouldn’t mind your cute neighbour being such a shameless fuckboy if a) the walls weren’t so thin and b) he didn’t seem intent on adding you as another notch in his bedpost. 

reset by @/dovechim s

↳ We are made of the pieces of what we remember, and we hold in ourselves the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there are memories to call our own, there can be no true loss. But Park Jimin has no such privilege. 

the dark side of the moon by @/dovechim s

↳ falling in love at first sight is cliche, not until it happens to you on a dark night in a lonely alley. but you’re only human, while Park Jimin is Alpha of his pack; it could never work out. so you resort to pining for him like a wolf howling at the moon, but when Jimin goes feral, that’s when everything changes. 

Unconditionally by @kstopping s a

↳ Jimin constantly torments you. But you love it.

Instinct by @evangelene f a

↳ A lost child appears into your life only to bring you closer Jimin–a man that you’d thought you’d hated once upon a time. Now all you want is to be there for the child, and maybe his father–but only if his mother gets the hell out of the way.

eternal sunlight by @kidguk f s a

↳ “college and soulmate au where the first words your soulmate will say to you are tattooed on your wrist. jimin thinks he met his soulmate exactly four months after he met and fell in love with you. you can’t explain your attraction or your feelings toward him, even though technically you’re meant to be with other people. taehyung and jungkook helpfully suggest that the universe might be glitching.”

foul play by @kimvtae f s a

↳ Everyone loves a good rivalry, and the students at your university are no exception. Unluckily for you, the rivalry of the decade is between yourself and a furiously irritating Park Jimin. A top gymnast and a basketball star shouldn’t cross paths, but Jimin makes his way into your heart before you can put a stop to it.

lost and found by @/kimvtae s a

↳ The only thing bigger than Park Jimin’s ass is his ego. After one too many scandals, after one too many mornings stumbling back to the dorms drunk or ruining the reputations of other idols, Jimin is given an ultimatum: complete a rehabilitation program in America or leave Bangtan.

if we were a movie by @/kimvtae f s a

↳ Friends with benefits never worked in the movies, but you and Jimin had been friends for so long, it was bound to work for you. Until, of course, Jimin gets a girlfriend, and you fear you may lose your friendship with him for good.

the pull of the tides by @goldenscript f s

↳ The expanse of the deep blue sea has always drawn you in. Each ebb and flow of the tides never ceasing to take your breath away. And now, a boy with hair as light as the morning sun and a smile just as bright does too. 

hard to say by @floralseokjin f s a

↳you've had feelings for your best friend Jimin for as long as you can remember, but you always thought they were unreciprocated. What if it turned out they weren’t...?

↬looking for pjm library or the other members check out my library

[archonsabyss]

hihii i cant keep this image out of my head and i need to tell you abt it…

yk how both rafayel & xavier’s mc in the myths is a royal and i keep thinking how xavier naturally kneels for mc 🤭🤭🤭 i am a sucker for big strong men kneeling for their woman. how he would say he’d kill for us AHHHHHH

also, rafayel canonicaly calls mc princess and even though hes sassy and princess like, when he’s serious he is like SERIOUS. he betrayed lemuria for her i think both xav and raf would definitely kill for mc and yk how raf has lowkey abandonedment issues? i feel like if mc was fed up or leaving raf he’d 100% kneel for her. OH AND when in chap 8 he lowkey sold us off LMAO and we feel betrayed after but his reasoning would probably be pretty good and he’s kneeling for us to forgive him???? YUHHHHHH

bonus: raf would kneel & fake propose in public for shits n giggles too when ur already married and he just wanted to give us a new ring or something

this is @aishasreality btw lolzies

₊⊹ I'm ecstatic that you thought of sharing this idea with me of all people! I read your ask the day it was sent and it has stayed in my mind every second then after! I ATE UP THAT IDEA AND IT WON'T LEAVE. the brain is rotting. Your mind is beautiful. Hold on, "I am a sucker for big strong men kneeling for their woman. how he would say he’d kill for us" HELLO?? SAME! WE'RE LITERALLY ONE IN THE SAME! I wholeheartedly agree, this is one of my Roman empires istg. I'm hyperventilating at the mere thought. XAVIER WOULD KILL FOR US! HE'D PRACTICALLY BURN DOWN WORLD/S FOR US 💔 my man.

Oh my, rafayel. I'm amazed at how closely our minds align right now, especially when it comes to Xavier and Rafayel. This is feeding my delusions so badly I must admit my first thought was "I need to write this", and I will! I will certainly, definitely, desperately have to write for this idea! I need everyone to hop on this train it's gonna be a party all day all night! We're going to get high of our delusions for this Xavier and Rafayel.

The intricacies of their characters are incredibly intense, mind-boggling even. Each day I find something new that just clicks and then I'm forced to add them to my notes. These details are shaping my perception of Xavier and Rafayel in ways that feel overwhelming both physically and mentally. I'm eager to look into the darker sides of their personalities in my next fic. Rest assured, you'll eventually get your kneeling men—I promise.

I do take a while to write, for 101 reasons, but I'll get to completing it eventually! It's alrdy on my mind 24/7 and the urge is slowly eating me😌

Will be sc this ask, framing it, and adding it to my writers journal 🙌

Have a good day, darling. You made my week and future weeks. I simply cannot wait to get to writing this idea asap

[just-some-random-blogger]

Can we have a Morpheus x Reader in the style of Phantom of the Opera? Thanks!

Inside My Mind

Dream of the Endless x Opera Singer!Reader

Summary: He was the phantom of the opera making you lose your mind.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Dark!Dream, Yandere!Dream, graphic depictions of violence/obsession/manipulation, fem!reader, smut/smutty allusions (dub con, fingering, vaginal penetration, marking, corruption kink) Phantom of the Opera AU, Set in Victorian Era, angst ig, typos, etc.

A/N: another MINORS DNI fic lol YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE THIS YES YES YES So, for obvious reasons, the plot of phantom of the opera is tweaked because dream is not 'grotesque' like the phantom in the real story. ALSO THIS EXPLODED INTO A DARK YANDERE FIC NONNIE I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE DARK FICS COS THIS GETS PRETTY DARK T_T this was supposed to be a slow burn because i got so excited for it, but then suddenly i was not excited at all and was unable to write anything, like fr it was so hard to write this so im only writing the highlights in my head im so sad i cant write this T_T PLEASE READ THIS FIC WITH THIS BECAUSE ITS SO BEAUTIFULLY ORCHESTRATED Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9

He was in his private booth with no one except Hob. Dream, in the length of his existence, no longer finds the same wonder as his friend, whose very eyes sparkle at the performance before him. But then his ears catch the echo of the song from behind the stage, from deep behind the opera house. "I say, they-" Hob starts, but when he turns to his side, his companion is no longer there. Dream watches her in the shadows, basking in her voice as she sings the song being performed with more heart than he ever thought possible, before making himself known. When he does, she starts, dropping the mop she was using on the floor. The sight of her face excites him. She is laced in nervousness when she manages to ask, "who are you?" "I am your Dream."

I remember how it was before, how it was in the beginning. When he was my Dream, who came to me with sincerity and gentleness.

I look out to the dim lit bathroom as I wash my arms in the fragrant water of my tub. I deflate in loneliness, "will you not show yourself to me tonight either, my Dream?"

A chill runs down my spine when the wind blows across me.

I gasp at the feeling of warmth on my cheeks.

I look out to the empty room, "Dream?"

Yes, my love.

I frown at the sound his voice, for the speaker nowhere in sight.

"Where are you?" I mutter softly.

I am attending to imperative business right now. I cannot be with you in my physical form.

I frown, "you've left me again?"

Sadness creeps up on me when he does not respond.

"You've left me again, my Dream. I'm all alone without you."

I sink down deeper in the tub as I hear him call out my name. My brows furrow at the sound of him.

You are not alone. You are never alone. I am always with you, my love, even when my form cannot be there. Always.

A bitter tear threatens to spill from my eyes, "it doesn't feel like it... are you not going to watch my debut? It's tomorrow night already."

My breath hitches when the I feel a ghost of a touch trail down my spine. Goosebumps rise all around me.

Nothing will stop me from watching you perform.

My heart leaps in my throat. I bite my lip at the thought as I feel myself break into a soft smile.

"I wish you weren't so busy. Then I wouldn't have to keep talking to you in my bathroom. It's the only other place quiet enough for you to hear me."

My shoulder tenses when the sound of his laughter echoes.

My dear, do you think there is a place on any plane that I would not hear your calls for me?

I knit my brows, "but you never respond to me anywhere else, my Dream, only here, and in my bedroom when Meg is not around."

Oh, beloved, there is so much that you do not yet understand about your Dream.

I pout, "then explain it to me," I rise from my tub, leaning on the side, looking out into the emptiness, "I am not a child."

I shudder when I feel a hand on my cheek. I place my own hand on the area, but it's not the same.

In due time, my love. I will reveal myself, my whole truth to you, in due time.

That was the beginning of the sweetness.

I remember vividly, as well, the first time he ever touched me. It was not like how one would touch a friend or maybe even a stranger. He touched me in the way I had never been touched before.

I hadn't understood the concept of the Dreaming yet, and so I was simply shocked to have met him in a park when he came up behind me. He had to explain to me that we were in his realm.

The soft smile on his lovely face at the time was enough to make me do anything he wished.

His lips found mine as his arms wrapped around me.

He did not give me time to ask any other questions spinning through my mind at that moment; I quite frankly didn't mind. His attentions on my skin and the kisses he left were more than enough.

And then he started to lift my skirt.

"Dream," I call as goosebumps rise on my skin. My Dream does nothing but pull me closer and move my clothing away so that he can touch my bare skin.

I jolt and whimper at his touch.

"Hush, my love," he mutters against my neck, "I swear to you that I will bring you nothing but pleasure, just as I have intended all along."

I am still tense when I feel his fingers move into me. I squeak and wrangle against him, but eventually the foreign and inexplicable want that builds within inside my being makes me lean into him and yearn more for his touch.

"My beautiful ge-"

I gasp when I hear my name being called in a panic.

Meg is looking down at me with worry laced all over her features, "have you had a nightmare?"

I turn to his, propping my elbows up as I stare at my friend.

She continues, knowing I was in pure confusion, "you were groaning and whimpering in your sleep."

I feel blood rise up my cheeks.

Meg knits her brows, caressing my cheek, "are you ill, my love? You've got a hotness about you."

"No," I shake my head, offering a bashful smile, "I am well, Meg. It was just my... my Dream."

It would then be Meg who truly experienced a nightmare, unshakeable ones at that. But at the time, I did not know it was my Dream's punishment for interrupting us.

That was what it used to be like living in the bliss of my naivete.

Even though I suppose it was always there, my Dream's darkness, it only became real when I allowed myself to see it.

My Dream started to turn into my Nightmare when I was reunited with my childhood friend, Raoul.

I had obviously been excited to see him again at the opera house. Raoul told me it was destiny. I felt uncomfortable by the idea that my Dream's brother would ever allow such a thing, but I did not tell Raoul that.

Whenever he visited me, Raoul offered me roses for each of my performances that he watched, and he made so to watch every performance I had, even going as far as being a patron of the opera, so to be able to watch me practice.

I, of course, was ecstatic to have my friend around. But Dream did not share my sentiment.

At first, my Dream acted cold. He acted hurt. He told me-

"I've heard his thoughts, he wishes to steal you away, to claim you as his own, to corrupt you," he seethes, gripping me by my arms, "do you want that?"

"No!" I shake my head rapidly.

"Do you want him to take my greatest and sweetest love away from me?" he mumbles, pushing me against the vanity. We were in the privacy of the diva dressing room, as I was now the diva of the show.

"No, my Dream," I frown at him, grabbing his face as he hoists me on the surface. I help him push my clothing up so that my exposed thighs could straddle his hips.

He begins to undo his trousers as he nods his head, "you belong to me, don't you, beloved?"

I lick my lips in anticipation of him while I nod myself, stealing a glance between his face and what his hands were working on, "I am yours, my love."

He pushes against my face with his as he presses a kiss on my cheek bone, "and I am yours, eternally."

I nibble my lips when he exposes himself. I let out a loud groan when he enters me.

"Pretty girl," he praises, "let them all hear who makes you feel this good."

I suppose, in fact, it was my fault that he snapped.

But it was not as though I could control who I dreamt about. And it was not like my dreams were something he should have readily dove into.

Dream had asked me, "do you want him?"

"Who?"

"Your childhood flame," he quips coldly, "Raoul."

I told him I didn't. Why wouldn't I when I was so in love with him?

But later that night, I dreamt of him, of Raoul. I was walking with my childhood friend in my childhood home. We were holding hands the way we did when I was younger. He was recounting his travels to me as we walked around the halls. I laughed when he joked he would steal me away. I joked that I would let him if he gave me all his chocolate.

And then Raoul turned into smoke. And then I was holding no one in my hand.

My childhood home began to crumble, and in my fear and panic, I begin to run. The walls broke down and the ceiling fell behind me.

It was a wonder that I made it outside.

But then I my soul nearly left me when I was grabbed by my arms and faced with a dark face.

A shiver ran down my spine when my Dream squeezed me and quipped, "you lied to me."

I panted as I looked at his face, drawn with fury, loathe, and madness.

"You told me you did not want him," my Dream hisses, jaw tight along with his accusation, "you did not want him to take you away from me, but you do!"

My breath hitches as his hands grab my cheeks and forces me to look up at him, "you think he could ever measure up to me? You think I would ever let you find out your inevitable disappointment?"

I grab onto his coat as I feel fear crawl up my spine.

"What makes you think I'd let you leave me? You are not meant to leave me-- you're never leaving!"

I release a shudder, "my Dream, please."

The darkness and tension on his face begin to unravel as tears begin to streak my face.

"You are mine," he words carefully, "you belong to me."

Out of instinct, I find myself nodding at his words as I repeat to him, "I am yours, my Dream, only yours." My lips begin to quiver as I am overcome by emotion.

He seems to be satisfied with my admission. He withdraws his harsh hold on my cheek and exhales deeply. He leans his forehead onto mine, his arms make their way around me.

I begin to sob into his chest when he pulls me close. He shushes me, "No," he mutters, "no, enough. Hush now, all is well. I would never hurt you, never you. Do not be frightened."

I hide my face in his clothing, he strokes my hair.

"I do not want to see you with that man ever again."

I do not respond to him.

He nuzzles against me as he breathes in heavily, "mine."

I really did try my best to stay away from him, but Raoul was always very persistent. He never liked losing when we were younger, and it seems his virtue only grew as time went by.

I told him we could no longer be friends, and his responses were nothing but childish, because he told me the notion was nothing but childish.

Then one day, he got me to laugh at his attempts.

I froze when Raoul said, "finally, I may be able to sleep well tonight, now that I've heard your laughter."

"Have..." my brows knit, "you not been sleeping well?"

It was painfully clear to me all of a sudden how heavy his eyes were and how tired the smile he gave me was, "I have been plagued by nightmares, little butterfly."

Raoul rubs my chin with the pad of his thumb, "do not grow uneasy by the thought. Your smile is medicine enough to my ailment."

The following day, he would not go back to the opera. Two days after that I would learn that he has not woken up from his deep sleep.

Dream acted as though nothing was wrong the entire time, and in my deep feeling of bewilderment, I began to avoid him-- hide from him. At first it was simply by ignoring him, then once caught, I acted as though I did not realize he was there to begin.

After a while, when I could feel him draw near, I would make attempts to flee him, except, there as no escape from Dream.

"Beloved," he appears from nowhere right in front of me, "why are you hiding?" He reaches out to my cheek.

My heart is thumping wild in my chest when he pulls me close, "was my darling playing a delightful little game to excite me?"

"Dream-"

"Well, I've found you now," he says, peering close, as his hands travel down my body, "I deserve my prize."

My breath begins to hitch when he roughly rips my skirt up. I grab ahold of his arms. His lips curve into a small smile as he watches me. He absolutely relishes the pounding pulse echoing in his ears. Dream leans down and leaves wet kisses on my neck, eliciting soft yelps from me when he begins to suck and graze my skin with his teeth.

"Cover my marks again," he breathes in between kisses, "I will give you more."

I whine when I feel his fingers find their way to my core. I begin to squirm, unsure of whether or not I want him to continue.

“Tell me how much you love me,” he mutters against my neck as his arms around me contrict

"Dream."

"I feel as though I'm suffocating when I’m not with you," he sighs, fingers fondling with my heat quicker, "if you leave me, I will cease."

His breathing grows heavy. He sucks in a sharp breath when I cry out at the feel of fingers enter my pooling wetness.

"Nothing will ever come between us," he croons, "I will destroy anything that comes in our way."

Though Dream's ministrations were something I had grown accustomed to, and even something I looked forward to, there was something about this moment that left a foreign feeling in me.

He made me feel so, so good, and yet, it felt so... wrong.

Then one day, it was I that snapped.

Everything that he's done, giving Meg nightmares, trapping Raoul in a constant state of dreaming, intimidating me then telling me he was nothing without me, all of the twisted things he'd done made me realize his love was demented, and it took performing one of his plays.

He had taken it too far by inspiring the maestro to write about our love story: a man who did the extremes for his lover, and how his lover had no choice but to accept his actions for the alternative was to remained shackled in the dark until his love was accepted.

I overheard the dancers talking about how this was the most tragic story yet, and how they're glad such a man did not exist.

I performed the arias with tears, danced with such desperation. I sang with so such sorrow that the whole house broke into tears.

Yet I saw him through my blurry eyes, I saw him smile at me with satisfaction

He did exist, this cruel lover, but he was not a man, he was Dream of the Endless, the phantom of the opera.

So I ran. I ran leaving everything, taking nothing but a coat and money to get away as far away as I could from my prison of an opera.

It was foolish, I knew. His words echoed in my mind-- "My dear, do you think there is a place on any plane that I would not hear your calls for me?"

The fact was he did not need my call for him to know where I was. But I would rather die trying than not at all.

It was very much like Dream to come and get me when I had myself believing I had a chance to get away.

My carriage stopped in the middle of the road with a loud cry of the horse and the driver.

I did not want to come out, I did not make a move to, because I knew he was right outside.

Really, there was nothing stopping him from manifesting inside my tiny carriage, and yet he still pounded on my door from the outside and demanded that I come and face him.

When I did not reply, he forced my door open, making me turn to him with wide eyes and taxed breath.

I cannot lie, I was surprised to see his distraught expression and his unkempt features. I did not think it would be possible for him to appear this way.

Dream reaches out for me. I watch him as his dark expression slips as I raise my hand out to him. I however do not hold him, instead I push him away.

His brows furrow tightly, "you will come with me at once."

A shiver runs down my spine at his command. I fake courage and clench my jaw, "no."

"No?" he tilts his head.

"I do not want to come with you anywhere at all," I mutter coldly.

Dream cannot mask the disbelief and horror on his face. I can see his expression slowly shift into anger as he speaks, "what has made you like this?"

"YOU have made me like this!" I hiss, leaning in, "you are hard and cruel," I shake my head rapidly, "you do not love me."

"I ONLY LOVE YOU!" he barks, removing further the distance between us as he leans forward.

"BUT I DO NOT!" I answer with the same intensity before pulling back.

His face falls. Wind begins to pick up begin him. His eye twitches, "liar."

I hold back tears as I grip my hands tightly. I shake my head slowly this time, "not anymore."

His face twists, he pulls back and his knees nearly buckle.

My heart feels as though it is being squeezed when I look at him. I cannot lose my advantage now, "I used to believe you were once my sweet Dream, but you are nothing more than a twisted nightmare."

"Stop," he points, "LIAR! That's not true- I- I'm still your Dream! I love you!"

"If you truly loved me, you would let me go!" I quip moving towards him, "you have to let me go, Dream."

"You cannot leave me!" he whisper-yells, "I want you to be with me, to stay with me, to love me!" He grips on the side of the carriage door, "even thinking about a world without you, a world where you are with someone else makes me sick."

I retreat from him when he tries to reach out for me. He is hurt by this. He slowly pulls his hand away, "can you at least pretend to love me?"

A chill runs down my spine when he says this.

He grows more desperate when he speaks again, "I implore you, tell me what err I've committed so that I man correct it," he drops on his knees, "I beg you not to leave me."

I turn away from him, rubbing my face as I did, to hide the tears that were threatening to show themselves to Dream, "close the door, Dream."

Dream's desperation leaves him, "no."

His change in tone makes me my blood still. I barely even see him when I turn to him and feel myself fade into darkness.

"If you will not come to me in your own accord," he says, standing, "then I will take you in my own."

[sightoru]

𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎... and happy new year!! I wanted to make a post showcasing some of my favorite things i've read this year, and thank you all for sticking with me as i transition from writing on tumblr to ao3!

I do want to do a separate shoutout for @mybigbangacademia and the wonderful people i met there! it was so great to be part of something that challenged me to write, and it was so great to work together as a community ! linky.

please let me know if you'd like to be removed or untagged as well! i really don't mind at all. I also wanna say this is for fics i've read THIS YEAR, regardless of when they were posted.

now without further ado...

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒...

𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐀.... by @dilu3 scaramouche x reader, tattoo au. this is so fucking good and i literally love everything about it.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒.... by @eremikan natsuo, dabi, shigaraki, keigo x reader. it's written in a gorgeous way, very unique and i love the entire story. mari has a stunning way with words and it shows through the entire piece. i cant wait to see where it goes!! MIND THE TAGS!

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒... by @andypantsx3 andy is so incredible and i literally devour everything they write like a boa constrictor. the most canon shouto todoroki i've ever read, and im ngl im not a massive shouto simp??? but i am eating this fic up.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃... by @yeagerbombs CEO of canon zhongli. the pining and build up is incredible, i love readers personality in this as well!!! very elaborate and stunning and one of my favorite versions of zhongli i have ever read.

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄... by @katsukiskitkat literally some of the best world building i've ever read in my life, binge read everything in a day in my bed while i was clutching my phone and kicking my feet like a school girl. absolutely incredible.

𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐔𝐏 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐄...

𝐔𝐆𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐘... soggy by @mintmatcha. this gutted me and i will never be the same again.

𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐘... study buddy by @sems-diarie , sem always does my baby izuku right (OUR baby) and this is just another one she did beautifully.

𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋...dead young and fair by @j0succ turned me into a diluc simp??? its so stunning and beautifully written and everything about it made my heart ache.

𝐈𝐃𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐓... what doesn't kill me makes me want you more by @dottores / @twdottore im not even INTO TR (not for any particular reason) and yes i did have to look up what these dudes look like but it did not stop me from devouring this like a man starved.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒...

@tteokdoroki 's the sinister six event, which combines my two favorite things: smut, and long fic. aali killed it last year, she killed it this year and if she decides too, she'll do amazing next year.

@anantaru's kinktober was a full course meal every single day of october. they're built different, idk how they did it but they did and i applaud them. raising my glass to them like that leonardo dicaprio meme.

@vampyrsm 's kinktober was nothing short of perfect. i've reread these like 4 times.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒...

@hanmas nsfw + sfw + multifandom.

@spacelabrathor nsfw + bnha + sprinkle of dc + longfic

@haruchiyos dc + nsfw + multifandom

@oh-katsuki dc + nsfw/sfw + multifandom + longfic

@petrichorium nsfw + multifandom

@willowser sfw + bnha

@willowser-but-nsfw nsfw + bnha

@vagabondings nsfw + multifandom

@hawnks nsfw + sfw + multifandom + long fic

@saneminx nsfw + multifandom

@alhaithms nsfw + sfw + multifandom

@tinie nsfw + sfw + multifandom

@dearbraus nsfw + sfw + multifandom

thank you all for a great year!

[tanoraqui]

hey!! i love your blog so much your takes are *chefs kiss*

i saw an Amazing post a few months ago where someone laid out a really cool plan for a silmarillion tv show and i cant find it again. it haunts my every waking moment. i think i saw it on your blog so i figured id ask if you knew it.

Either way, have a great day!

(note: I got this ask several thousand years ago, and am answering it now because I asked my roommates if I should write something serious tonight, or something ridiculous, or read a book; and they said ridiculous.) (note 2: I wrote the above several days ago. I'm posting at 6.5k words) (note 3: I'm going to pretend this is a deliberately timed gift to @thelordofgifs for their latest fic updates, which were bullet points of heartfelt and sober compelling canon divergence. this...is bullet points of [heartfelt? compelling?] lunacy. I hope you might enjoy it.)

Are you thinking of this, the "Supernatural but make it Silmarillion lore, and also women" show of my dreams? (Me, approaching the Tolkien estate with an offer for the rights to the Silmarillion: I swear, I will ONLY show the First Age in limited flashbacks. Everything else will be the characters as they are at least 10,000 years later, maybe even with an active framing device to identify them as modern interpretations of the characters...")

Oh huh, I forgot I thought a bunch more about that "teeechnically-not-AU" and never added it to that post. Regardless of whether it's the show you were thinking of, dear Anon:

one of the protagonists is definitely the reincarnation of Fëanor. Her name is Seraphina, which translates to something like "fiery divine being", bc her mom had a good sense of these things. They don't know this at first

her slightly older twin sister is Martha, named after their grandmother but it does mean the feminine of "master", because I spent at least an hour trying to translate any name Turin ever had into something reasonably modern and this is the best I could do (they also don't know about this reincarnation at first, ofc)

their father was killed by some sort of monster when they were babies so their mother took up monster-hunting ranging, etc. etc.

(the underground community of modern monster-hunters are called Rangers, in reference to the roaming heroes of old)

Seraphina, the Wild One(TM), ran away to go to college, where she double-majored in astrophysics and mechanical engineering and double-minored in linguistics and metallurgical engineering, and wrote an art history thesis. Martha, the Dutiful One(TM), stayed with their mother and kept ranging. They reunite when Martha shows up on Phina's doorstep because "Mom went on a hunting trip and hasn't been home in a few days", etc. etc.

the Bobby-style substitute parent should really, to (kind of) round this out, be a dwarf or hobbit. The full "Team Free Will" should represent all peoples of Arda... But I'm not making up OCs right now (yet)

a unifying legend of the Ranger community is that their unofficial network has been supported and guided for millennia by their cousins, the peredhel, Elrohir and Elladan, who quite simply never Chose and have been wandering the earth, saving people and hunting things, ever since their sister died. They don't NEED to Choose until they die, technically!

This is, in fact, true - or, it was. Until about 25 years ago, when [flips a coin] Elrohir married our heroes' mother, settled down into peaceful domesticity, and a few years later died dramatically to buy [throws a dart at a wheel of names] Laura and their children time to escape the whatever.

Laura knew about his profession and that he was older than he looked, but not his whole deal. She found that out later while vengefully hunting monsters...and never told her daughters.

The plot of Season 1 involves unravelling this mystery, including at some point meeting their elusive uncle Elladan (who has maybe gone a little mad with the sudden death of his twin? That'd be a fun season antagonist/arc/theme...dealing with grief...very topical!)

By the end of s1, all of the above have probably had a nice closure-giving(-ish) confrontation/conversation with Elrohir's ghost - who's been waiting in Mandos for his wife and/or brother despite Mandos's INCREASINGLY strident blandishments to stop acting like a cat in a doorway and choose - and Laura and Elladan are both dead in suitably dramatic circumstances.

...or, Elladan is. Apparently John Winchester didn't die until s2e1! So, what happens is:

- (earlier in the s1 finale episode, Laura, noticed something once or twice which her daughters didn't - saw a curl of smoke, seemed to be examining a McGuffin extra closely...)

- Laura has been mildly injured, and someone needs to guard a McGuffin or maybe a random innocent civilian caught up in this, so she stays behind while Phina and Martha go off to deal with whatever the actual big bad of the season is. Maybe a cult trying to sacrifice half-elves for some reason? Directed, though not personally managed, by whatever killed Elrohir in the first place, which is...I gotta figure an OC balrog? Like, not one of the big ones from canon. We'll just call her (Laura's) Bane henceforth.

- not long later, while Phina and Martha are fistbumping in the remains of the cult's hideout Seraphina maybe have used chemical explosives), or maybe discretely looting Elladan's body for useful weapons laying their uncle to rest, the scene cuts back to Laura

- she's pacing, patrolling. Ready for a fight. She senses something and goes even tenser, drawing her ancient sword. It glows softly blue - but this is no orc. Heavy footsteps, flickering shadows and firelight, maybe the sound of wings. We do not see the enemy, just a middle-aged woman in improvised combat gear with a pistol in one hand and a Gondolin-made sword in the other, and a look of iron determination and defiance. She pulls off the bandage on her arm, revealing that she'd faked her injury so the girls would leave her behind.

- "I knew it was you," she greets her old enemy, unflinching, as a faint reprise rings unnoticed in the Great Music. She moves to attack, met by a whip-crack and a flash of fire, and cut to black.

Season 2 starts where s1 ended, for Martha and Seraphina. They're almost back at their car (the beloved 1967 Chevy Shadowfax). Note: few times in s1, Phina has had strange visions or nightmares, never anything prophetic but once a good clue to defeating the MotW...

She reels with the force and horror of this one. Darkness, utter and choking, pierced eventually by a single desperate torch. A dark and empty hall where there should be life and light. Flickering firelight reveals blood on the floor...

She gasps, "Mom," and demands that Martha drive, drive, fucking drive faster already -

They're too late, of course. Laura is long-since dead.

...so, back to Monster of the Week, with additional focus on tracking down the Bane!

Seraphina's strange dreams and visions get more frequent, more memorable. Sometimes they're peaceful, full of beautiful Light. More often they're dark, or at least, dim - climbing strange, starlit mountains (finding a cousin of aconite which turns out to also be useful for defeating werewolves). Choking grief as her hand brushes the air just above a vibrant tapestry, too afraid to ruin it with touch. Fire in her throat as she shouts world-shaking words in a language she doesn't remember (she repeats them a moment later, fending off a corrupted wind-spirit, and it flinches even before Phina feels a burst of vicious, raging, burning strength.)

Seraphina is curious as hell and keeps pushing herself to learn more, see more. Do more. It's not just visions, eventually - she starts to read minds, here and there. She's always been a fidgeter, happiest with some petty creative task of wire and beads or yarn in her hands, but now she can swear that sometimes her craft supplies sing at times, directly surpassing her ears, and she can make things with quality, with power. A new-knitted scarf is sturdy as a gorget. Glass beads glow. The more Phina does, the more she's frustrated rather than satisfied - she knows she's missing something, and she HATES being ignorant. Being wrong.

Martha, always the responsible one, especially feeling the need to be so now that their mom has died, wishes she would stop. Wishes she wouldn't put herself, put both of them, in danger like this. Martha is literally game to fight an orc with her fists one on one, any day of the week; she's no stranger to a quick temper and impulsive action. But she grew up! Why can't her sister!

(Martha: [venting the above to a stranger in a bar or something. Meanwhile, Seraphina has found an medieval Songbook and is trying to, like, apply principals of Elvencraft to chemical engineering. more arguing ensues.])

Toward the end of the season, there's, idk, several murders at the site of a geothermal drilling experiment in the North Sea, and oh shit, Bane is trying to get something that came out of that drill shaft! Violent interrogation of some evil minions reveals that it's no less precious thing than a Silmaril! Our heroes read about those recently in some ancient tome! (Phina got a headache so bad, and a sense of being aflame, that she passed out.)

In the third-to-last episode of the season, they hunt the Silmaril to the unlucky random research facility to which it's been taken. Mundane authorities and/or scientists are already coveting it as a potential energy source, adding extra mooks...who mostly just die when Laura's Bane arrives. But our girls get to it just slightly faster. The jewel is in a jead-lined box. Phina has been increasingly consumed by single-minded focus on getting this thing; even as the Ban storms in all fire and darkness, she's furiously picking the lock. She flings back the lid; we see a shining gold-white jewel - and the Light consumes the screen.

The second-to-last episode starts with pure Light - then it fades to simple Mingling, as the Noldor hold a funeral for Miriel. They had rites for the fallen in their starlit home of old, when they knew no return. They are having a modified version now, knowing that in her weariness she will, at least, take a very long time; in the hope that it will help those who loved her move through their grief.

- young Fëanor (age 5ish), tears running down his cheeks, whispers to his father that he is sorry, so sorry he killed her. Finwë denies it fiercely, lovingly, and holds him tight. Indis approaches, seeking to offer comfort; Finwë sees her over Fëanor's head and, gratefully, shakes his head. She retreats.

- but in the next memory, it is Fëanor (age 10ish) who watches Finwë and Indis, as they move joyously in unison around their wedding dance floor. Someone says something to him, he responds bitterly.

- (I'm not sure exactly what narrative of Fëanor's life I want to construct here, but assume subsequent memories/short scenes include: dislike of half-siblings (ft. fear of loss/abandonment masked as superiority complex), finding genuine joy and contentment in craft, exploration, and Nerdanel & their children; Melkor & rising tensions with Fingolfin, the Silmarils, the sword Incident, banishment (ft. savage dislike of Valar), Finwë's death (the same memory that struck when Laura died!), the Oath, Alqualondë, the theft and burning of the ships...and Amrod...and shortly thereafter, Fëanor himself, in a rush that only wasn't suicide because he really thought he could bust in and kill a Vala right up until he realized he absolutely could not do that.)

- (very fast final montage of key events post death, only snapshots, maybe styled as tapestry seen from Vairë's Halls? Fingolfin, crowned, raising Maedhros from a bow and embracing him; the glorious hosts and castles of the Noldor, Dagor Bragollach, Fingolfin's death, Doriath & Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin's deaths, Sirion & Amras's death (both with the Silmaril evading them in the background), Morgoth's defeat by Host of the West with Eärendil shining far overhead, the final attack/theft, Maedhros's death, Maglor flinging the third into the sea and collapsing)

- camera close on Seraphina's face as she opens her eyes. They are shining with Light. She says, "Fuck."

FINAL EPISODE OF S2 STARTS WITH:

- a few second earlier: Martha sees from across the room as Phina opens the box and a joyous Light shines forth, and her sister collapses. The Silmaril falls and rolls.

- Martha doesn't have time to see where it rolls, because she has to fight the monster that killed both her parents. We've seen Laura's Bane in the shape of a woman with cavern-black hair and fiery eyes a few times before, and when it killed Laura and Elrohir, we glimpsed much more. But 2 episodes ago was the first time we saw it in all its terrible, burning darkness. The building is falling apart around it. There were a couple security guards and a scientist here; they're dead within moments.

- like her mother, Martha started out with a gun and a sword. She quickly gives up on the gun - it IS a special magic gun, but she's just better with a sword. She's snarking at the monster as she fights, because this is a gritty urban fantasy show so she's going to die, but by Eru she's going to die with sarcasm on her lips.

- the Bane's whip finally catches her around the wrist. It's not clear if it's the pain of the break or the burn that makes her drop her sword. The Balrog steps over it and grabs her by the throat. Darkness enwraps her, the searing, choking claws and the all-encompassing wings and the swallowing of her vision -

- Light pierces it like a blade. The Balrog falls back, dropping Martha to the floor.

- there stands her sister, Silmaril raised, almost glowing herself with its Light. Her eyes blaze with the particularly fiery Light that was always Fëanor's.

- Power in her voice, in English she says, "I am Seraphina Elrohiel [cool epithet she's picked up as a hunter]"; in the most traditional lisping Quenya she adds, "and I am Fëanáro Finwë-Curufinwë." English again: "I wrought this jewel five ages of the world ago…and to be honest, I don't really know what I can do with it now."

- - (the soundtrack crescendos, the Music crescendos; unseen, all around Arda and beyond, beings tuned into the Great Song of Ëa know that Fëanor once again holds a Silmaril, and go oh, shit, fuck!!)

- she smiles, fey and burning. "Do you think it's a good idea to stay and find out?"

- Laura's Bane flees with a snarl.

- Martha gets to her knees, and no further. She's panting, still catching her breath, bleeding and bruised and burned, and staring up at her incandescent sister(?).

- Seraphina (who is, has always been, Fëanáro Curufinwë) stays standing and glaring for a moment more, making sure the enemy has truly gone. Then -

- - [note: it came up, in their hasty recent recent research into the Silmarils while chasing them, that they are blessed such that evil hands can't touch them. they'd hoped this would be protection against the Bane, if they got there too late to stop it]

- - [note: in the very very brief memory-views of Maedhros and Maglor's last moments, it was clear that their grips on the Silmarils were agony]

- Phina falls to her knees, Silmaril dropping from her hand without protest. Once again it rolls offscreen, glow faded but still bright. All force of presence gone, she cradles her burned hand and sobs in agony and irreparable loss, not to mention the sheer overwhelming experience of everything.

- older sister instincts (again: despite the fact that they're twins) gets Martha moving when nothing else did. Still not actually sure what just happened, she crawls forward and hugs her sister.

...then they get out of there. Martha picks the Silmaril up carefully with a piece of cloth and puts it back in the lead-lined box, and Phina carries the box. For the rest of the episode, they hunt down Laura's Bane before it can escape them utterly - unless it tries to come back and get the Silmaril while they're still off-balance, which is entirely possible! Either way, they kill it so dead!

Season ends with the two of them sitting in a dingy motel room, or maybe back in the Shadowfax [car], staring at the Silmaril box. Martha says, "So...what do we do with this?" Phina says, "We find out what the hell happened to the other two!"

IN SEASON THREE...

...I stop having particularly coherent ideas for what happens, is what happens in season three

honestly, I was originally conceiving of this as 5 seasons a la Supernatural didn't it have a great show finale in 2010? so great. thank goodness they didn't make 10 more seasons for some canonically godforsaken reason. But Fëanor retrieving even just one Silmaril would so kick off an s4 level of divine intervention and incipient apocalypse...

I dunno, or maybe they CAN have a full season of Monster of the Week plus arcing plot which is half standard hunting, half various supernatural entities tracking them down either to steal the Silmaril or to kill Fëanor (again) for her many crimes?

They retrieve 1 Silmaril that season, while evading, idk, I guess Sauron is our Lilith equivalent... And it WOULD be fun to have s4 start with Martha kicking open Mandos's doors (she's holding 2 Silmarils; she can kick open whatever doors she wants) and demanding her obnoxious sister back...

(We COULD do a thing where the Valar deliberately put Fëanor back asap, but lbr they...would probably rather not, even if they need her alive to do certain things. On the other hand, if they did, what a fun conflict for her! On the third hand, SOMEONE has to Lúthien the other's Beren at least once - not that Martha is singing. She's going more for the 'threatens Ainur with swords' side of her heritage.)

(That WOULD create a fun 'Martha has been doing increasingly badass and angsty shit offscreen (while Seraphina was dead)' scenario that could lead smoothly into some flashbacks about what Martha was doing before the show started - namely, increasingly badass (and angsty) shit while Seraphina was in college...)

Because in terms of focus, the first 2 seasons are a little more about Seraphina. Having not Ranged for a while, she's more the audience's pov character to start, and then the big plotty drama is focussed on her in s2...and in s3, as they hunt the next Silmaril and she adjusts to being... That is, Fëanor adjusts to being...

She was Fëanor for a MUCH longer time than she's been Seraphina, but she's been Seraphina more recently and kinda more...vividly? She hasn't fully processed being Fëanor. Her hröa is human (and female-shaped and human-female-gendered, and elves don't define gender the same way and don't have gendered pronouns at all, so she's sticking with 'she/her' and it's not a big deal), and her fëa has been acting human, so her memory capacity is still mostly human, as are her reflexes, her need for sleep, etc... She's getting better, but it takes time.

But boy has this enhanced ALL of Seraphina's natural attention-seeking, forward-leaping, fight-starting, prideful, self-centered Protagonist(TM) behavior!

Which is driving Martha CRAZY, all the moreso because there's reason for it now. Aside from the fact that even with no memory of her past life, Seraphina was always brilliant, while Martha was just...normal at best. Clumsy and un-witty except with a weapon in her hand. Prone to sulking and shyness. Downright unlucky, while the universe seems to shower blessings on her sister.

Even when Fëanor is trying not to start a fight, she's so condescending. to her sister who is a mere mortal Man. Having been one for 25-odd years - still being one, in fact - Fëanor has lost much of her suspicion of Man as an usurping species (it was never really about Men anyway). But she's SO condescending.

(Martha IS her sister, still. Martha can hold the Silmaril without the Oath pushing Seraphina to burning wrath, because she is Fëanor's kin.)

(Though "Fëanor's kin" was only ever a stand-in for, roughly, "people Fëanor could trust to temporarily hold a Silmaril because he knew they'd give it back to him instantly if he asked." So, as the rift deepens between then, as she grows paranoid again...)

...returning to the point above: as Seraphëanor steps up as Person Who Can Explain Advanced Supernatural Shit, audience pov connects a little more with Martha. Also because Fëanor's radius of destruction is really fun to watch from the outside.

Yeah...Seraphina gets pretty high up her own ass over the course of s3, then dies, maybe heroically or maybe as foolishly as last time, then post-season hiatus smash cut to Martha kicking in Mandos's front door and dragging her back to life... I do love that.

SEASON FOUR...

After the shock wears of, the classic Fëanorian paranoia isn't helped by the fact that Martha IS keeping secrets. What she's been doing, who she's been doing it with...(some Maia, maybe even an Úmaia?) Though Arda's mythology doesn't have the same Heaven/Hell dichotomy as Earthly Christianity, so alaos we can't have the sexy sexy s4 thing of an angel on one sister's shoulder and a devil on the other's...

But basically I think s3 has to have been somewhat of a tragedy, as Túrin (unknowing) and Fëanor (just bad at this) played out their old tragedies in tandem. Rashness was often the undoing of both. Leaping to conclusions, action or both, though usually in opposite directions. With maybe a dash of parallels with ancient (ie, Second Age) Elf vs Man conflict - Martha is increasingly down on herself, but also, jealous of Seraphina's Protagonist Energy and increasingly ready to do some violence about it.

And none of that resolves in s3! Seraphina just gets killed!

So in s4, they have to figure it out. Seraphina needs to learn some sort of (gasp) humility, and how to let grievances (and loved ones) go. Martha needs to learn how to cope with regret and grief with means other than changing her name and moving to a different city.

(She's already starting, though! This time, she asked "what would Seraphina do', then broke into Mandos and demanded solutions!)

(...and Mandos, perhaps, was very ready to refuse until he got a good look at her fëa, silently went 'huh' in recognition, and waved them out.)

Then Martha starts having strange dreams and visions - maybe after they fight an ancient dragon? or maybe she already was, in the s3-s4 gap (after fighting an ancient dragon with her new Maia friend?)

Seraphina is initially PSYCHED about this- twinnies for real!! But they get some entity to look at Martha's fëa and they confirm that she's 100% a Man.

Monster of the Week episodes are still the main focus btw. Vampires and werewolves, cursed magical objects, rogue petty nature maiar, peacekeeping between factions of non-humans still dwelling secretly here and there... Though perhaps the masquerade is starting to fracture?

And, of course, some (other?) Maia has shown up and informed them that Sauron is embodied again and trying to complete a ritual to break a hole in the envelope of the world to let Melkor back in, which our heroes must stop!

Also, definitely need to get the 3rd Silmaril back this season. They got the one in the earth and the one in the sea...

- so, a fan favorite recurring character [a/n: IT'S MY IMAGINARY TV, I CAN IMAGINE THE FANDOM'S REACTIONS, TOO, AND ALSO TBH I'M CERTAIN I COULD DELIBERATELY CRAFT A FAN FAVORITE CHARACTER] is the twins' Uncle Earl, who isn't technically their uncle but rather an old family friend of their mother's. He is, in short, kind of an old kook. Some flavor of Southern - I'll flip a coin and say Louisianan? Lives on a houseboat, refuses to go ashore unless absolutely necessary because "the feds'll get me." Visiting nieces means there's someone else to go get groceries and gasoline (necessary, but he doesn't trust most delivery services or modern technology, either), so they've possibly never seen him set foot on land except maybe once on an isolated beach in rural Oregon. Fought in Korea. Has probably looked grizzled since age 12. Eats mostly fish, talks to birds, talks back to the radio.

- to be clear, this guy is not filling the Bobby 'faux-parent' role. ...okay maybe he is a little, emotionally. But he's not involved in "the family business." In terms of SPN characters, he's roughly Garth - appears once a season or so, is a delight for 1 episode, then we part ways. He calls Martha in s1 because there's been some "weird deaths" in the port he's in right now, and he knows they deal with "this sort of thing" but he can't get ahold of Laura. There's a mention of him in s2, that they called to tell him Laura had died. In s3, they need to lay low for a while so they join him on his boat for a few weeks, go stir-crazy and end up fighting a sea monster.

- Idk if he calls them again in s4 or they're trying to lie low again or they just run into him by chance...but they're dealing with MotW murders in some swampy Florida shore-town and on his ship (The Flower) when something much bigger than a swamp monster catches up with them. Say, Sauron sent an unstoppable Carcharoth-sized wolf monster, or maybe a super-vampire (some aerial combat would be fun), or just some Úmaia miniboss that a season or two would've been a season-climax boss fight...

- they're moored up when it arrives. Phina curses, Martha shouts for Earl to drive, drive the boat out as far and fast as he can! Earl was half-asleep at the table; he starts awake demanding if it's the feds?! Phina leaps to the wheel herself and slams the gas, while Martha grabs the old shotgun off the wall and fires at the giant shadowy wolf-monster.

They leave it howling on the pier. They'll have to go back and face it eventually, but they're not ready right now. Maybe they can even re-land far upshore, and it'll have lost their scent again...

- the giant shadow-wolf finishes howling starts chasing them running on the water

- Martha curses, and shouts Phina to drive faster. Earl (looking over Martha's shoulder, also cursed, almost impressed, at the sight of the wolf) tells her to give him the wheel. Phina shoves him away and shouts back as she yanks the wheel that they need to turn back, they can't win this fight on the water -

- the wolf is snapping at the Flower's keel. Phina curses in Valarian and yells at Earl to take the wheel and steer them back to land, while she runs back to help Martha fight the wolf.

- Earl flips a red lever in the [boat mechanics] cabinet under the wheel which we've probably seen before (Seraphina fixed something in s1), labeled "High Octane" and shouts, "Hold on, girls!" He slams the throttle again and the whole houseboat hydroplanes. The wolf falls overboard; Phina goes with it but Martha grabs her.

- the wolf gets to its feet on the water, and starts chasing them again

- "Confession time, girls!" Uncle Earl calls, steering the boat beyond full throttle while Martha and Phina get to their feet. "I did befriend your ma's dad while he was fighting in Korea. He whispered to the stars at night, when he felt lost." Adjusts a standing spyglass, tugs a string a couple times to turn on the lanterns on the prow and above the steering console, dons his navy blue-and-gold captain's hat. "I thought I couldn't have been happier to guide him home - then Elrohir met his Laura, and they fell in love. And had the two of you!"

- "Do you have a point?" Phina shrieks. She's scrambling to get her jacket out of her bag under one of the seats, because her Silmarils are in its pockets and the shadow-wolf is gaining. Martha, shooting at the wolf again, glances back, maybe having noticed that the old anecdote is phrased differently than before. Old Uncle Earl is standing unusually straight, his grizzled-gray hair gold-ish in the warm lantern light.

- "Yes!" he calls, jerking the boat away from the wolf again. Some of his Louisiana accent has fallen away, too. "Don't lose your wits - and keep holding on to something!"

- he tugs the light-cord again and the yellowy lantern-case above the wheel opens, and the light that shines forth is far brighter and paler. Its source falls into his hand as the lantern shakes with the Flower's speed, and he sets it on the brim of his hat - the illusion of which fades, leaving only the golden band on his brow with the Silmaril set upon, and Eärendil standing as tall, young, and golden-haired as when he first sailed the sacred seas. He gives the wheel another stern yank and the ship's prow rises even higher - and keeps rising, with the rest of the Flower in tow - the Foamflower, Vingilotë, every plank now aglow.

- "Also," he admits, looking over his shoulder to make sure neither of the twins has fallen off (again), "I'm your great-grandfather. I really am sorry to have - hey!"

- that's for Seraphina, who is Fëanor, Oath blazing in her heart, regaining her balance, sprinting up the deck and lunging with wrath in her eyes for the Silmaril.

- Eärendil dodges smoothly, while still keeping one hand on the wheel. "I said," he says reprovingly - while Martha bodily tackles her sister to the floor - "keep your wits Fëanáro. I'm here to help, as I ever have been for the people of Arda."

- the girls wrestle on the deck for a few more seconds before Seraphina calms down. It helps that they realize the wolf had grown giant wings of shadow and is chasing them aloft as well.

- btw: late in s4, the dwarvish researcher who's Bobby's fill-in and/or Martha's probably-trustworthy Maia friend should really be present as well for all of the above, but this ain't really about them. So I think they're just kinda. awkwardly Present for this family not-reunion. helping fight the wolf & all that.

- (Eärendil doesn't actually give back the Silmaril. But he lets Seraphina hold it for a few minutes, during which she is more at peace than she has been in millennia, and promises to let her have it again if/when she really needs it, if it isn't more urgently needed elsewhere. This is, more or less, satisfying to the Oath: as discussed "Fëanor's kin" was only ever shorthand for "people whom Fëanor could trust to hold a Silmaril without ever withholding it from him.")

Eeexcept it turns out that even Eärendil doesn't know that the Valar DO want Morgoth back, because they're kinda totally down to have Dagor Dagorath and reboot the world. Look it'll be great - Túrin - that's you, Martha - will help Eonwë and Tulkas slay him, then Fëanor will break the Silmarils, releasing the Light so that Eru can use it to Remake the world, Unmarred this time - Hey, where are you Children going? Stop stabbing people! Stab only the people we tell you to stab!

(Ulmo, ever wise, offscreen: When has that EVER worked? Especially with Fëanáro and his kin?)

Yeah, there's a scene very much like the end of SPN s4, wherein Martha gets grabbed by the celestial "good guys" and they admit that this is all kinda set-up but don't worry - here's your destined fuckoff-huge black sword, just wait a few minutes for your "sister" to once again achieve an evil end that's the exact opposite of what she intended; and then Martha has to convince the Maia she's been befriending all season to help her escape and go rescue Seraphina before she jumpstarts the apocalypse...

(Nb: Martha was already trying to stop Sauron from freeing Morgoth when the season started - she broke Seraphina out of Mandos party bc she loved and missed her sister, partly because she needed a Silmaril expert. But she's grown skeptical of the task somehow, while Seraphina - perhaps because Seraphina - has gotten vengefully obsessed with it. As Fëanor is wont to do. Hell, she has even more reason than she used to - she knows what Sauron did to her grandson.)

So, y'know

They do, of course, accidentally free Morgoth.

On the plus side, in the process, they get to jointly murder the SHIT out of Sauron, who was the REAL mastermind behind much of Laura's Bane's actions (and, honestly? Might've been the real one who killed Laura, and only set it up to look like a Balrog. Flames and shadows both can have many masters!)

SEASON FIVE, THE FINAL SEASON DEFINITELY FOLLOWED BY NO FURTHER SEASONS despite the temptation of a terrible sexy humanoid Ungoliant

I only have 3 ideas for season 5:

1. They go to Valinor at some point, of course. Perhaps to rally aid? The first elf they find, they introduce themselves grandly, Fëanor and Túrin Turambar here seeking allies to fight Morgoth! and the elf says blankly, "I have never heard of either of you." *squints* "You're Men, you say? Lord Ulmo keeps a Man on Tol Eressëa, I think. You could go to him?" But after that, as a running joke all episode, every other elf they meet recognizes Fëanor on sight (she has a very distinctive fëa) and immediately punches her in the face...and every other elf recognizes Tùrin on sight and all but tackle-hugs Martha while shouting joyfully that they never expected to see him again. Some (Beleg) actually do tackle-hug her (and nearly gets stabbed again) (#worthit).

2. To everyone's surprise, including the other Valar, Morgoth started his war upon creation subtly when he returned...but doesn't remain subtle for long, nor do those opposing him. By the end of the season, the masquerade that non-human sentient peoples and various other supernatural beings still live in Arda is all but shattered.

3. Then it's THOROUGHLY shattered in the finale. I don't know if the general human populace participates in the final battle - though I am SO weak for a moment when, like, the regular-ass armed forces, who are not necessarily allies to the heroes, show up to help fight a massive superhuman threat. When the SHIELD helicarrier shows up to evacuate civilians in Age of Ultron, when UNIT does pretty much anything in Doctor Who...I love it when the best protections & warriors the mundane human race could pull together also show the fuck up and help save the day because damnit, this is their planet too. ...Which is, in fact, very on-theme for Tolkien. So yes, actually, this definitely happens. Probably there's some conflict with US military forces mid-season, our heroes have to talk (fight & escape) their way out of being arrested for blowing up a national landmark while fighting a balrog, and the general in charge whom they'd half-convinced returns in the finale with a battalion to slam some missiles into Morgoth...

oh, and 4: Ar-Pharazón et al totally do come back from the dead. Probably on Morgoth's side lbr. They get a twisted undead immortality wherein they cannot die, just go on fighting for the dark lord to whom they once turned in jealous worship...

More importantly...

Okay, I really don't know exactly how the Dagor Dagorath goes. We're following the version that Eärendil will chase Morgoth from the skies; Tulkas, Eonwë and Túrin will fight him upon the field and Túrin will avenge his House and all the Race of Men by slaying him; and Fëanor will break the Silmarils and Yavanna will use their Light to remake the Trees, and the lands will be leveled or in some cases raised from the depths, and everyone will live happily ever after except possibly Men who aren't mentioned beyond Túrin.

This is what the Valar expect to happen (though they don't actually know-know Eru's plans.)

What happens instead is...

Most of the Morgoth-defeating does go exactly like that. Except probably they don't kill him for good - they CAN'T, because the Marring of the world is part of what Morgoth is, and the only way to undo him completely is to remake the world completely.

Which maybe could be done, by Eru if no one else, if He were beseeched? Which might be done with the strength of the Silmarils, their Light released?

And Seraphina does break the Silmarils. That's important for her - giving up her Protagonist role, just as slaying Morgoth - embracing her Protagonist role - is important for Martha.

...but I don't think they give the Light back to Yavanna. No offense to the Trees, but they never illuminated most of Arda anyway, and the world is round now anyway - and making it flat again would fuck it up - and we have, like, electrical lights, now.

Hell, maybe Seraphina is ready to give up the Light... Her instinct is to hold it back, to follow her own novel plans with it, but, oh, to regain what was lost! And she has come around on...some of the Valar. Selectively. Yavanna's one of the okay ones.

- but Martha, half-dead from the battle, drops to her knees beside her and catches her hands before she can loose the Light upward unto the grasp of the Tree-Queen.

- "Together?" Martha says (Túrin Turambar, ever the greatest Men had to offer - bull-headed, loyal, brave, unafraid of death, loving and losing and loving again).

- Seraphina's trembling lips curve into a fierce grin (Fëanäro Curufinwë, ever the greatest Elves had to offer - brilliant in mind and spirit, devoted, ever seeking to preserve and glorify the beauty of the world, and eventually learning some wisdom about letting go).

- "Together," she agrees.

- together, they hold the Light that once shone in the Trees, the Lamps, and the Flame Eternal of Creation itself; and as they release it, reach for the Great Music of Ëa that is deep in both their blood - for they are the daughters of Elrohir, son of Elrond, son of Elwing daughter of Dior son of Lúthien Tinúviel, daughter of Melian the Maia; and indeed, even before that, they are both trueborn Children of Eru, are they not? - and eschew utterly the Choice of the Peredhel by leaving the world round but Un-Sundering the Sea, that the kindred might still live apart, if they wished it - the Elder in their land undying, the Younger in their realms of quick and sometimes joyful, often savage change - but that they might visit one another, at least, as they pleased.

(I mean, wasn't the false division of siblings the whole problem from the start?)

Random Additional Features of this Show/AU/Thing

All elf and ainu side characters, canonical and not, will be cast gender-blindly, and characters referred to with the understanding that elvish personal pronouns don't necessarily correlate with physical phenotype, but Ainur do generally try to match local standards of gender assignment. Dwarves will all use he/him (and have beards!) even when fairly clearly female.

I have no idea what Martha is doing for gender once she remembers being Túrin. With all the time Túrin spent with Elves, she probably rolls pretty smoothly with being she/her now, though it's weird. Her memories definitely integrate more easily than Fëanor/Seraphina's, though, as much because she's the same kind of being both times as because there's less of them.

Both protagonists are definitely bisexual. Martha has a range of love interests; it's a running joke (at first) that Seraphina has a total Thing for redheads. Any kind of redhead. But especially creative ones - any kind of art or invention.

The role of Gabriel WILL be played by Maglor, albeit with a different death (don't worry, he'll be back for the finale) and much more...gloominess. And angst. Okay, and maybe his first appearance, in s1 or 2, IS cursing them - not knowing who they are - into a musical episode. (A WOMAN HAS NEEDS; THE WOMAN IS ME.)

When Martha meets Fingolfin and/or any of Fëanor's other siblings, probably in s5 but maybe s4, they immediately Vibe completely. It's the shared experience of growing up with Fëanor for a sibling. Needless to say, Seraphina Hates This.

Their chief researcher friend is a dwarf, who is also on the young-ish side I think, and a woman (he/him).

There's gotta be a notable hobbit on the Team before the end, too...but overall, hobbits remain symbolically representative of the Civilians in this war story.

Durin is alive again somewhere. Durin usually reincarnates in time to guide his people through particularly difficult times - or, to try. Their dwarf friend - what the hell, I'll just call him Bobby - tries SO hard to be Cool about meeting him, and fails SO hard.

I generally prefer to judge and characterize the Valar and associated Maiar as fallible to the point of clumsiness or negligence but basically wise and thoroughly benevolent...but I AM willing to throw some of them under the characterization bus for ease of making conflict in this hypothetical CW show.

...I probably have many more random thoughts but it's 3am and I want to post this whole insane thing. Feel free to ask me questions if you have them! And/or petition both the Tolkien estate and a major TV network for the rights, money, and support to help me make the terrible but wonderful show we deserve!

[captainmera]

I cant believe I gone this far into the Caleb fic without realizing flapjack isn't present lol, when do you plan on bringing the best boy into the story? Is he gonna be Caleb's emotional support birb ? What's you headcannons on the lil rascal ?

I want Evelyn to give him some palistrom wood, once she hears of his passion for woodwork. :)

I want Evelyn and Caleb to encourage one another in areas where the other is a little insecure.

Some character arc thoughts: SO SPOILERS

Caleb starts off as a depressed pessimist who feels stuck in life and powerless. Like this is all he'll ever be and that there's no point in having dreams when they're unrealistic.

His dream being to tell stories, make figurines for those stories (as he can't write or read) and give the figurines to people who feel touched by the story the figure is in. He wants to bring his own kind of magic to people, the kind that can bring people out of the dark headspace he's in - which are stories of various types. Stories helps him escape and feel like there are good things after a hard journey - that then, perhaps, the same is true for him.

He dismisses his dream because he feels like it's just.. not true. He's just being a dreamer.

Subsequently, of course, Evelyn thinks that sounds a lot like how Palistrom carvers work, a profession that's very scarce in the demon realm as it takes someone with a lot of heart and imagination (and willingness to give away that love) to create unique palismen.

Caleb needs someone to unchain him from the ground he's fasten himself too out of fear of floating too far into the sky. He's allowed to fly.

And Evelyn,

I haven't had the chance to go into her yet, as this story is mostly (right now) told from Caleb's POV.

But Evelyn is a powerful witch and very talented. People often say she's wasting her time doing research on something as useless as the human realm. That her potential isn't reached. She's an extrovert, who wants friends, but they take advantage of her for being powerful and well-known for that. (Kinda like Gus!)

She has no genuine friends. But she cares so much, and means so well, and keeps getting let down.

I want for Evelyn to make Caleb realise he's not powerless, that his dream isn't silly or even unachievable. That he's allowed, actually, to break away from the strict rules. He can be the flamboyant exccentric who tells stories if he wants to be.

I want for Caleb to show Evelyn that she's not just her talents. He has no context of why or how she's "wasting her potential", he thinks she's amazing. Not because she's poweful, but because her heart inspires him. To him, she's fun, she's free, he likes her in places where others find her annoying (but feigns not to be to stay in her favour). Caleb is forward with her, has been from the start. She needs someone to grab her arm and ground her a bit, not to chide her, but because they care and know that she'll be upset if it doesn't go the way she thought.

They level each other that way. :)

And I want them to have fun with each other, be playful and snarky, honest and... Because of how they met and started, they have no reason to not be honest.

SO, AS FOR FLAPJACK!!!

I wanted him to carve him, after Caleb dares to open up a bit more.

And because he's a human, like Luz (and I guess Hunter??), he's limited on what kinda magic he can do. So flying, mainly, and maybe zip-zaps. But to him, that's incredible.

And also terrrifying. Because that makes him a witch. But also, now he has a buddy he can babble on and on with.

"NO DON'T, AGH, STOP! You can't follow me around! People will think you're a familiar!! ... Actually, do you know what kinda flowers Ev likes?? Can you make flowers? No? Hm.. Help me find flowers then."

Kinda like how Hunter panics at first and is all SHOO SHOO and then ten seconds later babbles his heart out to the bird.

Flapjack becomes one of those emotional support animals. lol.

[quodekash]

I rewatched episode 7 like 6 or 7 times this week im so ready for episode 8 and for all the fluff and then for the angst to come crashing in and for my dreams to be crushed

lets do this

SAILOM'S EXPRESSION I CANT WITH HIM

and it's a perfectly reasonable expression, saifah's very very sus

GOOD JOB KANGGGGGG

IM SO PROUD OF YOU MY BOY THATS AMAZING

HES SO HAPPY LOOK AT HOW HAPPY MY BOY IS

THE WORDS OF AFFIRMATION LOVE LANGUAGE BOY

AAAAAA

the SAME bed, mayhaps?????

yess yess yesssss

NOT ANYMORE BITCH

YOU'VE GOT A CLINGY-ASS BOYFRIEND NOW, AINT NO WAY HE'S SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED

his expression says it all

seriously I love him so much

perth is such an amazing actor

B O Y F I E ???

HIS LITTLE POUTY FACE-

sailom, sorry mate, but he's too powerful. you can't say no to that face

kang I know you're obsessed with him but you need to go to sleep my guy

trust me, you wont do well on your exam if you dont sleep enough

you can't just stare at your boyfriend the whole night

yES???

OOOOO YES THIS IS AN INTERESTING QUESTION

bc there was no affection behind that kiss, it was anger and fury and revenge, anyone could see that, but when I was watching the first three episodes (I didn't start the series until the day after episode 3 came out) id kinda had the sense that there was a part of sailom that felt self-satisfaction at finally having kissed him? but idk im interested to see what he actually says

yes!! thats what I thought!!!!

I LIVE AND BREATHE FOR KANG'S CHEESY-ASS PICKUP LINES

I ALSO LIVE AND BREATHE FOR THE WAY SAILOM CANT CONTROL HIS LAUGHTER AT HOW B A D THOSE CHEESY-ASS PICKUP LINES ARE

ASHDFAHSDFHASDHFADSHFHASDFH

look I knew the spooning was inevitable but that doesnt mean it doesnt have the power to murder me senseless

HE LITERALLY HAS HIS HEAD ON SAILOM'S PILLOW HE'S LIKE CLING WRAP ON A SANDWICH

are kang's legs on top of sailom

BEHIND THE CURTAIN???? THERE'S NO WAY THAT'LL WORK

JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM YOU DOOFUS

no but that would be ADORABLE and I wish that was part of the plot alongside the kangsailom stuff

w h a t

is kang secretly a magician??? is that what the whole plot is ACTUALLY about, kang's secret ambitions to become a magician?

(it definitely isn't but I would absolutely read a fic about that so if anyone wants to volunteer please send it to me somehow)

OMG

THEYRE ALL EATING LUNCH TOGETHER????????????

AND GUYNAWA ARE RIGHT ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER???????????

BOV4IERLHFBNDSVOERI I LOVE GROUP DYNAMICS SO THIS MIGHT KILL ME

YEEEEEE

AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

suuuuuuure buddy

you just dont want to admit that you like hanging around them

a DATE??? a DATE you say??????

are they aware of how flirtatious they're being? I would hope that they're aware of how flirtatious they're being

close, auto, very close. they're actually deeply in love with each other but they're both too afraid to admit it so they express it through pretend hatred

but they did get drunk together so I dunnoooo

AAAAAAAA

THEYRE SOUNDWINING AGAIN

I REPEAT, THEY ARE SOUNDWINING AGAIN

.........im ten minutes in and already ran out of images for one Tumblr post.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 7

welcome the the seventh fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. tender by sunswathe [EXPLICIT]

This is the absolute last thing they should be doing right now.

Not when Pidge is known for crashing into Keith’s room in the middle of the night for no reason other than being bored.

Not when he can hear Hunk’s loud snoring, muffled through the door.

Not when his sister is just outside, sleeping on the couch, while Lance is in Keith’s room, sleeping with her childhood best friend.

But Lance couldn't care less.

i’m gonna be real w yall ur gonna see a lot of secret relationship fics bc im obsessed with them. theres something about the tenderness of privacy and intimacy of secrecy that just Gets To Me. this fic lived up to its title exactly

2. right hand man by laidellennt

As his right hand man, Lance grows closer to Keith and realizes a few things about him, as well as a few things about himself.

In other words, Lance realizes he has a major crush on Keith.

look the red paladin lance black paladin keith dynamics Grew on me okay. i cannot live without them now they are so so powerful. this fic is fun and fluffy and it features pining lance, whom i adore. also keiths whipped ass referring to lance as his right hand man and impulse control will never fail to make me scream

3.  A Look, a Dance by @ohcontrary [explicit-ish??]

What would it be like to have Keith's arms wrapped around him for real, not as a distraction? And that look. What would it be like for it to mean jealousy, to mean desire? Lance shuddered, heat curling at the base of his spine before he stopped, sobering quickly as he remembered the serious way Keith had named him ‘my paladin.’

i specifically remember having to walk this one off. u know when a fic is so good that u actually cant take it and have to take a break to cool off?? yeah that was this fic. the PINING. dear lord. it was so wonderful. i have several lines from this screenshotted in my devotion scrapbook. please please give it a read.

4.  Red Together by @ohcontrary [again explicit-ish]

A series of Klance fics featuring Shy!Lance and Flirty!Keith. Part 5 in progress on the.grrrl.aliens!

[Mostly based on fanart. Have a piece you wanna see written? send it to me on tumblr!]

another thing by @ohcontrary bc her fics are always a hit. this series was one of the first if not the first to pioneer the shy/flustered lance tag, so we all owe it a great service fr. i never got to read part five bc i dont have patreon but i imagine the whole thing was amazing. ohcontrary i miss u and this series will always be a fave

5. you love me (don’t let me go) by jjkimchi (orphan_account)

Lance forgets he's married to Keith.

do not be fooled, friends, for there is no angst here. there is a brief moment of disorientation from lance proceeded immediately by he and keith being Trouble and causing Drama, bc of who they are as people. this fic makes me laugh every time. 

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[firstkanaphans]

i read your new fic just now and I CANT WAIT TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS HERE (sorry for being overexcited i just love your fics so much)

okay so i am clearly very much attached to akkaye still now as it broke my heart into a thousand pieces when i read how they dated for five years and then split up (alanwen flashbacks getting real) and its been five years and akk is still not even barely over that, how aye has a tall blondie bf and akk cries over it (literally why would you do this to me), how akk still has aye's cat and they still look for him in their own ways everyday (legit tears) and then the necklace thing

you are such an amazing writer that i felt like i am the one who had a breakup when akk thought about that baby and marriage conversation they both had

its just one chapter and i am already so invested. i cant wait for the next chapters and their backstory and how aye will be back to raise the kid (you're naming him daonuea right?)

literally so so excited, i love reading your fics so much <3

I’m so happy you’re enjoying it!! Please never apologize for being overexcited about my fics because it makes me so happy. It’s literally the reason I write!

I’m glad the break-up is coming across as bittersweet. I’ve really enjoyed exploring such a different dynamic between them and have tried to highlight how despite the years and the distance, the love has remained. Aye will be back in the next chapter, but Akk will not consent to giving the baby a name until the 3rd. But yes, once that time comes, he will be called Daonuea—Dao for short. Akk and Aye’s own little North Star 🌟

[034463]

Maxiel fanfic rec

yes thats right you heard me a maxiel fanfic reclist because apparently im crazy and ive been reading so much maxiel tht i can make a reclist now. its all so very catered to my taste soooo have fun

1. With The Sun In Our Eyes by screwstyles | T, 36k

“A fake dating AU set in 2025: It’s bad enough that Max is outed by an ex in the middle of racing season, and then his team suggests he pretend to date Daniel to soften the blow. It’s as bad an idea as it sounds.”

a maxiel classic, theres just something about fake/pretend relation ship that just gets me. also a lot of miscommunication so heads up for that”

2. you pick me up and take me home again by wintrs | M, 28k

“It feels like a dream, seeing Daniel again after all these years. It's a second chance Max knows he doesn't deserve, and he isn't going to waste it.Or: Max isn't racing in 2027, although he couldn't tell you exactly why. But it isn't a big deal. He's fine.”

max deals with his feelings and also his past trauma. very very angsty.

3. Little Drops of Anguish by semperama | E, 45k

“After a crash in Baku 2021 leaves Max unable to race, he's left trying to figure out what to do with his life—and with Daniel, who doesn't seem to want to let him go.”

also like fic no 2 max cant race and must face the fact tht theres a life beyond racing and daniel showing him that.

4. well we can settle down by tiredtiredsharl | M, 24k

“Sometimes Daniel watches the tapes back and he thinks: shouldn’t I be jealous of this kid? Or: Max drives the way we all aspire. Or: Christ, I’m in the presence of someone who will go down in FIA history.He never says any of that. Because after he watches Max stumble through an interview with a journalist who quotes Toto, he realizes that the pressure is the last thing Max needs.Max is one bad race away from combusting. Or going into the wall again. And Daniel can’t handle either of those options. For reasons he can’t examine right now. Or ever.”

dont remember much of the plot except that i found myself finishing the ff at 6 am in the morning and the light were coming through my window. amazing shit

5. The Dog's Home by dm3rv | M 33k

“Max Verstappen liked dogs. Max Verstappen loved cats. The jury was still out on people.Max has spent years climbing the ranks at an Animal Welfare Charity, moving from volunteer to intern to Animal Care Manager. The dogs and cats he cares for are his life - if only he didn't have to spend so much of his time putting up with 'VIPs'; entitled celebrities and donors with image-based agendas. Daniel is going through an image and identity crisis after an uninspiring season with McLaren. Keen for an image overhaul, he gives his time to a local animal shelter. What he doesn't expect is the prickly Animal Care Manager who has been assigned to look after him. Animal Shelter AU.”

THE BEST! max vet au youre crazy and dog boy daniel scared of dogs? good content also dont forget to check out the side galex. also good shit.

6. The Drive Of Your Life by  littleprism | ?, 70k

“Daniel is a semi-known actor. Max just got his second WDC a few months ago. There was absolutely no reason for them to meet.

Until a fateful crash in testing changed that.”

b list actor danny and racer maxy playing in a movie together. theres some plot holes but if you dont really think about it its soo good. 

7. anything to get to the rush by kingsguarding | E, 18k

“It’s so stupid, that’s the thing.Every year, the World Champion gets to choose another driver to … celebrate with. It’s an old tradition, apparently. As old as the sport itself. Part of the prize of winning, part of your reward.Max has never understood it.”

the ff that made me realize im soo deep in maxiel lore that i will sink w this ship. basically two emotionally stunted boys doing emotionally stunted boys thing

8. MV33 by Whippasnappa | E, 14k

“Daniel finds out Max is on Grindr. He's curious. He's just going to download the app, just to see. Just to look at Max's profile. He's curious how Max picks up men, curious if Max puts his real face out there. He's definitely not going to message Max. He's definitely not going to do that. He messages Max.”

yeah.....

9. Happier than Ever (so why are you crying with blue-sky eyes) by Whippasnappa | E, 30k

“From the first time they met at RedBull, Max knew he never wanted to be without Daniel. A look through their relationship as Max tries (and fails) to keep his feelings for Daniel hidden, as Daniel leaves for Renault, then McLaren, as Max tries to hold himself together.”

it hurts but it hurts so good. retelling of their whole history

will be updated as i read more ff

[ofallthingsnasty]

I know I haven't been following you for that long, but I have gotten invested in your fanfics and ocs so FAST. Not even kidding when I say that I spend tons of time just daydreaming about your fics lol They just scratch that itch I have for dark stories, it's amazing😭😭😭 And damn all these character lore drops are just watering my crops😫 Especially the bits about Evan and Micah.

I knew I was right to be scared of Evan since the beginning but yikes on bikes, I didn't expect him to straight up resort to maiming you if you act out ⊙▂⊙ I imagine that if the reader did ever manage to escape while Evan was out, it wouldn't be at all out of character for him to go "well reader, looks like you're losing the 'having both of your legs privilege'🙂" And he would feel super bad about it, but he would still do it. Probably while crying and saying something along the lines of this is going to hurt me more then it's going to hurt you, while the reader is begging and crying for him to not do it. Ughhh I got chills just typing this out💀Yeah Evan scares me quite a bit, anyways amazing character cant wait to see more of him lol🥰

And our favorite resident jerk Micah Bell, I do hate his guts but I have always found his character really morbidly fascinating and fun to witness in game. I sit there and go 'wow this guy is such an asshole.....why isn't he in more scenes and missions?(look if you hate him then that means that Peter Blomquist did his job perfectly👌) Micah is definitely one of my favorite villains ever and my goodness you have done this awful and nasty man justice in 'through the briar' 😖 And that bit of lore you posted just adds to it. Micah already doesn't like the reader in the slightest, in the beginning he saw her as an annoyance, an easy target to bully, and a opportunity to one up Arthur. But from what you posted, if the reader ends up pregnant he seems to genuinely resent you for the situation "you" put him in. To Micah you just had to have the utter AUDACITY to get pregnant, when he just wanted to have a little fun. And now he has to do all this work to look after the reader and their children (by work it means he probably shows up once a month, twice if he's feeling extra generous. And hands you a single can of beans that prob expired three years ago, 15 dollars and a quarter, don't forget the quarter💀all that to feed maybe 2-4 kids? Gee thanks for the help🙃)

I imagine whenever he does come home its like walking on eggshells for the reader and the kids, cause Micah is looking for any reason to get verbally and physically abusive towards them, especially the reader. (btw do you think Micah has even a hint of affection for his children? I know he doesn't love you in the slightest💀 but maybe the kids got a fraction of his cold, dead heart😭😭) In the little escape attempt from Micah scenario you have planned, I can honestly see him calling the reader an 'ungrateful bitch' for running from him after all he's done for you🙃🙄 That he didn't have to do "right" by you after you got pregnant, but he did. And this is how you repay him? And after that little speech....yeah it won't be pretty for the reader🫥

Anyways enough of my rambling😅As you can see your fics are just feeding my brain hahaha (holy crap this is a long ass post I'm sorry lmao💀)

Oh my god, this is so sweet!! I am amazed that my writing could have such an influence on anyone 😭💕 You don't know how much internal back-and-forth I did before I finally was able to publish 'through the briar' - because I thought the concept was so silly and had big, big self-doubts but that fic really showed me that there is always someone who wants to read whatever idea it is one has 💕💕 So, thank you, really!!

I knew I was right to be scared of Evan since the beginning but yikes on bikes, I didn't expect him to straight up resort to maiming you if you act out ⊙▂⊙

Yes, yes you definitely should!! I only scratched the surface of his true nature in 'capture kill' but I was trying to leave some hints for the readers - I see him as a very 'classic' yandere, like the ones I used to read about when I was younger. Desperate, lovesick, willing to go to hell and back to have you - the only thing that holds him back is his little wolf pack because following their code is intrinsical to him. He's easy to underestimate, especially for a defiant darling.

I imagine that if the reader did ever manage to escape while Evan was out, it wouldn't be at all out of character for him to go "well reader, looks like you're losing the 'having both of your legs privilege'🙂" And he would feel super bad about it, but he would still do it. Probably while crying and saying something along the lines of this is going to hurt me more then it's going to hurt you, while the reader is begging and crying for him to not do it.

Yup, exactly! Like I said, it's all for the "greater good" - he already fucking hates what happens to you in 'capture kill' but again, he'll surely be the one to impregnate you and then you two can forget all about this, right? Then he will have earned you fair and square - and no one can take you away from him.

I sit there and go 'wow this guy is such an asshole…..why isn't he in more scenes and missions?

gdfdsgh same!! I would KILL for more lines like "No need to keep your face covered now. It's just you and me, sweetheart." during An American Pastoral Scene (link with timestamp for your viewing pleasure ehe) - I soaked all these missions up like a fucking sponge, both absolutely disgusted and captivated.

I imagine whenever he does come home its like walking on eggshells for the reader and the kids, cause Micah is looking for any reason to get verbally and physically abusive towards them, especially the reader. (btw do you think Micah has even a hint of affection for his children? I know he doesn't love you in the slightest💀 but maybe the kids got a fraction of his cold, dead heart😭😭)

Absolutely. You look at him a little funny and he'll be going off in an instant, laying into you as though you're his personal punching bag. For his kids? I think it's complicated. Again, he did write to Amos - whether it's to stake a claim on his kin or because of some brotherly love, we can't know - but I do think that even that man can't help but melt a little (like on a molecular level) when a little horde of Bell children vies for his attention. That lasts for three exact seconds, then he's back to cussing them out. What I'm trying to say is that he has his moments, as many abusive parents tend to have.

And I agree SO MUCH with everything you've said about Micah and the reader-character. Really, the only good thing about him is that he's gonna die in a couple of years. Although that would leave you in even rougher shape, financially. Maybe we can both hold hands and dream about John magically coming into money and helping her out or something 😭 She is so fucked. I feel so fucking bad for my own creation, especially because she's a really shy, nice little lady. She really doesn't deserve it.

(Don't apologize omg!! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts!! It's the highest form of praise that my writing makes you think™, it means I did something right 😭💕)

[compsonn]

Most Well-Written Fics 2023

personal favorites from the first half of 2023 across multiple fandoms. no particular order.

not based on plot or whatever, simply based on the writing skill and how HARD IT HITS!! most are worryingly heavy angst... none are pwp. these are all great and amazing btw and im just a REALLY really harsh critic and i didnt want this list to be 3 links long lol

for reference i have read 640 fics this year and have bookmarked 7. some of the below r old ones that i didnt put in my last list

Marvel (Stucky)

Tattoo by rinnya / stucky M. self-harm fic. really really good one of my faves.

The Dead Forest - hansbekhart / stucky T. one of my all time favorite fics. cant get over how much i love this one. steve finds himself in the modern era and is depressed as shit. circular ending is disgustingly good and i love this fic so much. makes me miss living in nyc lol

my arms in the sky by lvsr / stucky M. steve and bucky are not good right now and bucky is an ass hole to steve and steve tries to kill himself but.. open ending! also one of my top ten. love love love this one

Supernatural (Destiel)

right hand on his rifle, swore it on the bible by quensty / destiel T. pretty angsty. dean is empty inside rip. this fic is pretty good, definitely in the top 1% of the ones i read. still, why is it so hard to find fics that are well written like this one??

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays / destiel E. this ones not even that angsty, but i really really like it for some reason. dean and cas get stuck in ohio and lisa breaks up with dean bc of it. the fic is amazing. i had to sit down after this one no joke. its really good. pretty long compared to what i usually like tho

this is gospel by piesexuality / destiel series. very great, not super memorable but still amazing. if you want a selection of great fics written by this person then here u go. religious imagery

MISC from books/scripts (The Sound and the Fury / Waiting for Godot)

ik these are super unpopular but if you want to check out like. literature then read these

Unvirginity by vigilantempathy / shreve/quentin T (they fuck tho). this is one of my favorite fics as well. it's sooo good. "the mind is weak but the flesh is willing" has inspired me to read the bible 😭😭 really good. one of those fics that has stayed in my head for years. great writing

Syringa Vulgaris by babykid528 (private) / shreve/quentin G. also one of my favorite fics but tsatf has the best fics in general tho. really stays with you.

The Meteor Shower by vonpourrise / estragon/vladimir G. great fic, hits as hard as the original. formatted as a script.

that's all!!! nobody reads these but if you do, feel free to drop recs ! im always looking for new fics

btw- "American Vandal" the TV series has, like, the highest concentration of well written fics that i've seen. "The Sound and the Fury" the book has as well. if u like that kinda stuff check it out! ty for reading

[saintobio]

I’m not so great at stringing words together but I just want to say thank you SO MUCH for putting out SN and part of SY for people to read !! I’m a slow reader so I’m not fully finished SY just yet but I can’t wait to reach and finish chapter 7 of SY ✨💫 it was a fun (and heart wrenching) emotional rollercoaster when reading the things that Y/N had to go through. I found your account mainly because of SN and I can’t wait to read what else you have on here once I’m done 💛💛 I wish you and the few lucky people who can read the rest of SY a bunch of fun seeing the story of Y/N continue !!

Anonymous said

hey I hope you know that I’m so proud of you for being able to deal with those people for so long! ur writing for the series was amazing probs one of the most amazing series I’ve read! you deserve to have both sides of ur pillows cold, always get ur order at restaurants right, ur charger always gets plugged in at one time! maybe one day in another multiverse u didn’t have to deal with all the stress

Anonymous said

Hi Saint, first of all, I just want to say thank you for the SN and SY series. Its my favorite and I’m sad these people were the cause of it being discontinued :( I don’t have a tumblr account so sadly I am not a moot, I discovered your amazing series just last week, but thank you so much for all your time and effort! I hope you’re taking care of yourself well. Thank you again. Perhaps one day, if you don’t mind, you will share the rest of the end. If not, we completely understand. Thank you ♥️

Anonymous said

Hello Saint! Just wanted to say thank you for giving sn/sy it was an amazing journey, I respect you so much because you are such a great writer and I honestly think you could be a newyork times bestselling author. I respect your decision to discontinue sy and wishing you best for the future and I hope everything gets less stressful in your life.

Anyways I'll always be excited whenever I get a notification from you (●´ω｀●)

Love you saint <3

Anonymous said

hi saint, I've been a fan of your sn/sy series for quite a while now and i absolutely loved what you had done with the plotline and characterization. despite the (numerous) tears the series has caused me, i think I'll forever keep this series in my heart <3

I'm sad to see this discontinued however I understand that's it's important for you to prioritise your mental health and write what you want to write. I look forward to your future fics!

Anonymous said

i’m so sorry the unnecessary pressure you had to deal with came to discontinuing sy. seeing how so many people acted in your ask box was so baffling. the way readers treating this story as if this was their own and not yours, and the blatant lack of reading skills was genuinely insane. it really goes to show how entitled people think they are to dictating someone else’s story. i hope this doesn’t discourage you from writing all together. you truly do have an incredibly beautiful way of writing tear jerking stuff.

and i really do mean this as advice to readers, but you are reading a story. you can’t demand constant self fulfillment from the author, you need to read it as a story. i understand emotions run high when reading something, and “grudges” against characters happen- that’s fine. you can hate a character for whatever reason, big or small. however, you can’t uncritically erase the value of a character and scold the author for the way they wrote a character in a manner you didn’t like. and considering the fact the author is someone who’s been under a lot of stress but still publishing their writing, you guys are acting incredibly selfish. stop treating stories as if they’re yours, but as someone else’s story.

once again, i’m so sorry you had to deal with all of this. it’s an unwanted consequence of readers thinking they’re entitled to a story. i cant wait for any of your future works, and look forward and fully support the future of your writing and you.

Anonymous said

although i’m very sad you’re discontinuing sy, i’m glad you’re putting yourself first. you’re an incredible writer, and sn & sy are absolutely the best fanfiction i’ve ever read. you’ve made such complex characters with a twisting yet anticipating story. i’ve never cried so much to a story like yours (in the best possible way) and been this excited over a story. i’ve been here reading since chapter 5 (??? i think) of sn and i’m glad i was able to follow you on this journey. i really hope some day we’re able to know how it ends, but in the meantime i hope you’re doing well :) wishing u nothing but the best <3

@kianaisthename said

Saint :)

Just wanted to get emotional and tell you how amazing you are and I hope you get enough rest and clear you head from those stupid hates

Though I really wish supportive messages were more effective and motivating for you to continue the story even under the pressure of work and real life stuff but I do understand that negative words always carry more weight than positive ones and I completely understand your decision =)

Just wanted to tell you I’ve been reading your story since chapter 3 of sn and it might be interesting to know I’m from Iran ( idk if you’ve heard of the country or not ) and your 5 pm here is actually 3/4 am and I would actually put my alarm clock the times you used to tell us the exact hour.

Anyway sn and sy will always be a part of my heart and I do hope and wish to be able to read the rest of it someday.

Thanks for everything and take good care of yourself 💚

Also sorry for my bad English 😂

@kiku28 said

Hello Saint

I hope you are doing well. I know a lot has been happening to you these past couple of months. I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Please do what you have to do for yourself. Take care of yourself first. Take a break, hang out with friends and family, go and live you life. Your writing has really made my day, especially the really difficult ones. So I also want to say thank you for all you do. Please take care of yourself and be well. Go have fun. You don’t have to post this, it is really just for you to know I am cheering you on.

Anonymous said

I'm crying a lot, almost every day I come here to wait for a new chapter of this story, it's been years since I liked a story so much and unfortunately Brazilian gojo stories are boring, I loved this one and I want to cry knowing that I won't be anxious to see it anymore one more chapter. It bothers me a lot knowing that this story was canceled by people who don't know how to separate fiction from reality and appealed to cursing, they didn't understand anything about the story, the development and the side of the characters. Thanks anyway, I will miss you so much. Sorry bad writing...

Anonymous said

idk why some people are so salty about gojo and utahime i feel like i was the only one who was kinda enjoying their relationship?? gojo had been sad for very long (and he kinda deserved it) but now ig it was his time to be a lil happy??? i was also enjoying y/n starting to be jealous and caring for gojo again BUTTTT some people just gotta spoil it all :/

stay strong saint i hope one day you are able to continue sy and fuck all of you because of who this story is being discontinued. some people need to keep their opinions to themselves fr.

@seijju said

Hi, I'd really like to thank you for writing such a masterpiece 🥺 The first work of yours that I've read was "Remember, Forever" and since that, you became my fave writer here in Tumblr. I'm fucking depressed right now because of SY being discontinued, I really wanna boil the heads of your haters and skin them alive. 🙂

Please rest and take your time to relax, you deserve all the best things in the world. Thank you for writing and introducing us to SN/SY, it's literally the best gojo x reader fic I've ever read in my entire life. Love u !! Sending hugs with consent 🥺

(I'm just gonna continue the story in my head... 😭😭😭😭😭)

Anonymous said

as much as i love sincerely yours, it's honestly a relief you're discontinuing it. you deserve to do it. people were starting to take things a little personal and i can't imagine the toll that would have taken. i hope this takes some weight off your shoulders ❤️

at least people can't complain this way anymore. they're free to interpret how the story goes as they wish 🤷‍♀️ if that still isn't enough for them then... lol. like you said, they don't have to suffer through bora bora part 2 again

also, i just wanted to give you a heads up that ohayo-poco is writing a haikyuu fic fairly similar to sincerely not. it's titled "be here". wanted to let you know in case anything was up!

@blkladyelle said

I know we don’t know each other very well and have talked briefly on discord but I’m so glad you’re doing this for you. Saint, you absolutely poured your heart and soul into this and to even think of all the hate and terrible assumptions you were getting unfathomable. I wish there was more I could do to help. And, I think I mentioned this in a comment, if you decide to come back to posting publicly I’ll be so happy to see it.

People who do this to you, or any writer are low lives and I truly hope you didn’t take their words to heart; which is easier said than done. I truly enjoyed how much passion you have when you speak about your stories and the characters that they felt so real! That’s such an amazing power you have! And at the end of the day, it’s fiction, these characters aren’t real despite how much we manifest, and everyone has different ideas and views of characters so if someone’s interpretation of a character isn’t to their liking they can leave it alone!

I truly hope you find some peace, not just on here but in your job as well since it does bring you some stress. You truly don’t deserve any of this and I hope whenever you read this it leaves you feeling good in some way 💜💜

@x-avantgarde-x said

Crying, punching the air, sobbing and throwing up rn.

The kind of things I’d to all those that have made you discontinue this series would put all that Gojo and his dad have done through SN and SY to shame.

I have already said this, but SN and SY will forever be one of my favorite fics on this site and one of those that I’ll hold closest to my heart. I’ve been here since the early days and it’s been one held of a ride getting to know this story and it’s characters and watch them evolve with time. You will forever be one of my most favorite writers here on tumblr, I’ll never get tired of telling you how much I admire you and the way you have to create such realistic stories with such a complex world and well developed and 3 dimensional characters. Your way to make everyone in this series feel like a real human being who I could easily meet on my daily life is one of the things that has made me connect so much with this story, and though I have cursed you over your ability to describe scenarios in a way that it seems like we are the ones living them (because you have made me share too many tears lol) is something that not many authors possess and you, Saint, you do.

Thank you for sharing this story with us. Thank you for letting us be a part of this amazing universe that you have created and for letting us know so many amazing characters and such a humble and wonderful author.

Though I’m sad we won’t get to know the ending to this marvelous fic, I know I will never be able to forget Sincerely not and Sincerely yours and all the emotions it has made me feel. You have a loyal supporter in me and I cannot wait to see what amazing story you bring us next.

Xoxoxo

Anonymous said

i know its hard for you to deal with all the useless hate from karens, but i hope one day you can complete sy. it was truly one of the best fics i've ever read. i hope you take the break you deserve, and until it all calms down focus on yourself < 3

however i will truly respect whatever decision you make even tho it breaks my heart a lil :,)

@evangelith said

People better leave you alone omfg, they really think they’ll do something going the other way and now pressing you to continue, I really wish they had the same energy back when they where rude to you, do they even care about what you really want? They just keep proving they don’t 😭

I’m happy you are prioritizing yourself Saint, and mad people don’t get the point, I wish you lots of love you deserve it 🥺🤍

Anonymous said

saint thank you for all the journey through sn and sy, you're really an amazing writer 😭 so sad that sy will be discontinued, but it's okayyyyy you're condition is the most important than the fic 🤧🤧 i love youu sainttt, OH and i was gonna say how i can read your oikawa racer fic, i really want to read it so bad 🤧 if you wouldn't mind, but it's okay if you want to keep it private 😃👍. TAKE CARE SAINTT i love youuu from heree <3 <3 <3

note: sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language^^

@nanamin-3 said

Hello saint,

I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing stories you have given us. I am so sad that SY had to be discontinued but I really cannot fathom how people are so upset about the characterization of a story’s character that is still not done and have the gall to dictate how the writer should create them.

You made time for us in your already busy and hectic life to write such a rich and amazing story for us and for that I’m so thankful! Your characters felt so real and intricate, and not only with y/n and gojou but also with other characters like Megumi and sera. I remember when I came across first SN, I couldn’t stop reading and loved it so so much and was so excited to see SY. I would look forward coming from work or after having a bad day and reading a chapter in this amazing story because it truly made me feel better reading such an amazing and thought out story.

Thank you so much for giving us such an amazing story, you’re the best! Love youu and take care of yourself! 🫶🏻💕

idek where to begin i’m sooo flooded with love n appreciation right now and i’m very grateful for every single one of u. i mean it with my whole chest 🥹 i’m sorry for the disappointment my decision has caused tho. i understand how it feels especially since sy was left on a cliffhanger gaaaah :< but also, i think it’s the best option i have for now. it warms my heart to know that some of u truly do understand where i’m coming from. thank you for all the support, the kind wishes, the genuine love, and for taking the time to send me a heartfelt message. i’m not leaving just yet so don’t worry guys hahahah <33

[practicecourts]

🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times!

Ah such a good one…

So these are fics I’ve reread more than once, its not an exhaustive list by any means.

The Last Enemy by @chdarling 1 and 2 (maybe I’ve reread 2 more not because i like it more perse but because its still being updated so i need to refresh my memory) Although there’s a thing about chapter 2 where Lily talks with her dad and she goes have fun with some of her muggle work friends. Although if i had to pick a favourite chapter there are so many in that one (a Slughorn Xmas party, some menial labour, the shrimp fest, i won’t go on bc for some reason my app wont allow for a spoiler break…

Then there’s two shorter ones by you actually “never really” is maybe too new to have been reread… but it has. And I’ve enjoyed Purely coincidental a lot… It helps that the art by @constancezin that it inspired (or the other way around) is very nice to look at again and again ;-) > i hope these links actually work. If not I’m so sorry. Go look for it yourself!!

Another reread is by the masterful @scriibble-fics , i must admit to reread a lot of her stories, or just parts of them, chapters I love to relive the suberp tension that she does so well. My last rereads of Notes and Magic were right on time for the new story drop!! Even if they are so very different.

I;ve reread @wearingaberetinparis Royalty one shots and of course : it only takes a taste when you know it’s good, I must admit now that I’;m behind on reading her wonderful stories as they come faster than I have time to read (which is unbelievable!!!) here’s one that i def read more than once When love was king but there’s another one shot (bar hopping with the prince that’s so good!!)

Three strikes till your out by @theresthesnitch i reread the campsite chapter occasionally. Because that scene where they are dancing after s’mores…

@mppmaraudergirl has me rereading the wedding ring and just spoiling all men (fictional or otherwise) just because that james is amazing. I’d love to find a good reason (such as an update maybe - hahaha, i hope you know this is a joke!!) Of TRN… but I’ll admit I read that one more than once already (I love the way in all of these stories i get so wrapped up in them, they become real characters that i care about even if they have flaws or do stupid things, but they also don’t get boring (I’m sorry for saying this but sometimes only fluff and nice just is that…) when they do the exact best thing they are supposed to say or do in that moment! This is rambling but… my defense, if you havent read any of these i dont want to spoil anything.

I just know i missed things here (oh, yes i did @mabeltothknows i reread and leave a comment only to find that the last comment on such a chapter was actually also by me…. Hahaha. But the sentiment was very much the same) i love that war one shot so much (i;m sorry i should link it but i cant find it that fast… AND THE PUTRID CORPSE …

A one shot that i keep rereading that’s old, is somewhere hidden om tumblr here where lily has a one night stand and the next day goes to her new job … guess who. It’s chapter 4 or 5 of these on ffnet…

I think I could just go on. (Room service by @maraudersftw Good old fashioned love letters by @theesteemedladydebourgh just popped into my brain… ) And the reason i feel that way is that this is by no means a complete list. SO instead of agonising to find the one fic or 20 that i now forgot but I’ve enjoyed so much that i occasionally go back to reread because they brought me joy I’m going to finish this post ;-)

[xxgoldenheart]

my fanfic hot take (as an aroace) is that i dont actually like the ‘only one bed’ trope (please dont bring out the pitchforks and torches i promise i can explain)

but the idea of two people who are either rivals/enemies, indifferent to one another, acquaintances, or literally just friends getting forced into a situation where there’s only one bed available is. such a ridiculous concept to me. like, quick disclaimer, i have never actually read one of these fics but ive heard a LOT about them. and everything thats supposed to be amazing about them just sounds awful to me. like. you cant seriously expect that two people who have NO feelings for one another will suddenly feel romantically attracted to the other person just bc they woke up and had somehow manoeuvred into a position where they’re cuddling while in their sleep??? is this ACTUALLY how romance works irl???? bc that is. so strange. personally, i’d feel PURE EMBARRASSMENT. where tf are this attraction spawning from. suddenly noticing that character B has big tits or big muscles or something??? character A realising they actually like how it feels to be cuddled???? i can understand if they already had feelings beforehand and this. situation just enhanced it. and i like the idea of characters sharing a bed when its more like “we are already dating/married and sleep in the same bed every night” or “we are close friends and we like being physically affectionate with one another so we cuddle and fall asleep together”. but how tf is falling asleep in the same bed and waking up to them being closer than you expected supposed to invoke any feelings other than embarrassment???

i have genuinely NEVER heard anyone with the same thoughts as me so if any of you out there also hate this trope and have some other reasons for it please let me know. i feel like there are others that i just cant put my finger on right now bc it’s late and i’m tired