#back to editing my fic i guess. i dont like it.

[needle-noggins]

read two short little fics this morning and they were phenomenally written but that's all it took for the anxiety spiral to grab me by the throat

[delta-piscium]

@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)

Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.

Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return. 

Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them. 

He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.

That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates. 

Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.

Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word. 

Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair. 

It’s wonderful.

It's the worst. 

“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.” 

Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking. 

“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.” 

“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.” 

Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends. 

He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows. 

“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.” 

It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it. 

“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears. 

His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp. 

“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.” 

Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.

“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.” 

"What if I take too much?"

"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."

“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does. 

Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.

“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.” 

The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat. 

“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”

Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.

“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.

“I get you. I get everything.”

Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours. 

[chornayadrakoshig]

+ of organising all the writing projects in notion: I have an aesthetic todo list!

- of organising all the writing projects in notion: a have a fucking todo list and all my 12 unfinished project are staring in my soul

[livingemkayde]

barbecue

neighbor!joel miller/dbf!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: Rated 18+. Minors please dni. Smut. Oral; f!receiving, fingering; f!receiving. Semi public fingering. Pet names. Not proof read.

a/n: guys. the love on ride literally changed my life. like actually. thank you so much for the support. due to the love on the one shot, consider this part 2 (and also my token of deep gratitude). if you haven't already, please check out my masterlist! im writing a din fic so if you want to read more of me, you know where to find it. last thing, my shit keeps getting community labeled so spread the word to change ur settings i guess?? dont really know how to fix that, i give warnings at the top of every fic. really really last thing, i live and breathe for your comments/asks/submissions, i will consider your requests for future parts if you guys want one. love you all tysm

edit: gonna continue with this and make it a small series. comment or message me if you would like to be added to the tag list!!!

wc: 4.5k

this is apart of my small dbf!joel mini series, read the previous parts here:

part i

if you would like to read more of mine: masterlist!

The ride back is silent.

He just kind of pushed you off his lap and back into the passenger’s seat—then started to drive you home without another word. You were too scared to say anything—you sat, body completely facing him—mouth hanging open like you wanted to say something, but you had no idea what to say to that. 

To rejection. 

Your dad’s call had really killed the vibe. Whenever you looked over at Joel he had a certain scowl that told you he didn’t want to talk about it—didn’t want to talk to you. 

But you wanted to talk to him. 

You really did—like you worship the ground he walks on because he’s Joel Miller, and he just pushed you off his lap after sticking his fingers inside you, and you seemingly can’t get enough. 

“So are we gonna talk about—” you look over at him but he cuts you off in an instant. 

“No.” 

“No? Joel—” 

“I said no,” he gives you a quick glance then turns back to the road. 

That shut you up. You feel kind of dejected. Like maybe it was a heat of the moment type thing. But it didn’t feel like that to you, if the quiet heartbreak settling in your chest is any indication. 

You turn to look out the window when you feel tears prick your eyes—your throat becoming heavy. 

All he gives you is a long sigh that pushes through the car. 

When he pulls into your driveway, he doesn’t even put the car in park, just switches gears to reverse so he can back out just as quickly. 

Great. 

You mumble a quick thanks and exit—if you slammed the door—you didn’t notice over the ringing in your ears. 

You enter your house, rubbing your hands over your face. When you shut the front door, your head is spinning. You rest your forehead against it but a voice—your dad’s voice—snaps you out of it. 

“Library?” 

You spin around to look at him. 

Fuck. 

You have to keep it together.

“Yeah,” you reply. But even to your ears, you sound a little breathless. 

“That Joel?” He tries to peer out the window of the front door—you know he can see the pick-up pulling out of the drive and into Joel’s across the street. Your dad doesn’t look skeptical—more confused than anything. 

“Yeah. He was nice enough to give me a ride back,” you remove your shoes and start to walk towards the stairs. You need to leave before your cheeks turn beet red. 

You think he’s about to let you off the hook. You’re halfway up the stairs, giving him a small smile goodbye, and he slips in his last question—

“No books?” 

Fuck. 

God. 

Think.

Fuck. 

“N-nothing good there. I need…special—books for my research,” you try to take one more step but he raises his eyebrow at your response and you freeze. 

Special books? What the fuck are you thinking? What does that even mean? 

You wait, breathless. And he kinda scowls at the floor then takes one more look up at you.

“Alright then,” he says and stalks off towards the living room —you let out a staggered breath.

Thank god. 

_

The next few days roll into one long sleepless night. You toss and turn when you remember what happened in the truck. You aren’t embarrassed—but you’re hurt more than anything. 

Joel Miller. 

The last time you saw him, 2 summers ago, he was teaching you how to drive—you asked your dad, but he had said something about how he'd get too frustrated if he tried to teach you. 

He asked Joel to give you your first lesson that night.

You remember sitting in the same truck, but in the driver's seat. He reached over to point out something on the speedometer, and you kept staring at his face instead of the dash—when he looked over and saw you weren’t paying attention he teased you. 

But it was different. 

Not like the teasing from a couple days ago. 

You knew it was playful—this new teasing felt flirtatious. Like he actually cares if you’re seeing someone. 

Cared. 

Fuck. 

You admittedly cried about it. A lot. And didn’t get out of bed much in the days since. 

Your dad miraculously pulled through with the barbecue. It's actually funny how the one time you want him to forget something—he’s way too enthusiastic about it and somehow ends up inviting the whole neighborhood and then some.

Your dad asks you if you want to invite Liam as you lie in bed, you give him a shrug—not really hearing him. If Liam comes, who cares. If Liam doesn’t come, who cares. You certainly don’t. Liam isn’t really anything compared to a certain forty something year old who just rejected you in possibly the worst way imaginable. 

Pathetic is probably the right word. You feel pathetic. Like maybe you’re just another woman in the neighborhood who has a crush on Joel that he would never go for. Like you were a mistake.  

It's certainly what he made you feel like. 

The day of the barbecue comes around and you haul yourself out of bed and into a sundress. Your dad is freaking out downstairs about the logistics of being able to feed the—honestly horrific—amount of people he’s invited. How they’re all going to fit in your backyard is a mystery to you.

You know Joel’s gonna be there—and you don’t know if you can stomach seeing him. The thought makes you a bit dizzy. 

People start flooding in, all giving you a smile, hug, and congratulations as they walk through the house. You try to put on your best face but when every knock or doorbell ringing could be Joel, you bite your lip and furrow your brows. 

There’s a lot of people. And by a lot—there’s probably close to 60 people in this house—spread through the backyard—and you can only really name 20. 

Your phone buzzes and your heart drops a bit. You don’t know why. Joel doesn’t text you. 

Sarah Miller: on our way soon

Fuck. 

You like the message and go to turn off your phone when a certain notification catches your eye. 

Liam Moore: excited to see you :)

So your dad had invited him. You groan a bit, but you can’t be too mad.

You slink to the backyard, saying hi to everyone as you move to find your dad. He’s standing with some men you recognize from the neighborhood. They all congratulate you again and you give them a smile and a thank you in return. 

“You invited Liam?” you say under your breath when the group of men go back to talking. 

“Yeah? I don’t really know what this—” he shrugs his shoulders dramatically “—means so I invited him just in case.” When you don’t respond he continues. 

“That a problem sweetheart?” He looks at you, worried. 

“No, no—I—thank you, dad. I mean it, really. This is awesome,” you give him a small smile and hug. 

You turn towards the entrance of the backyard and see Joel and Sarah walking through the sliding doors. He catches your eye almost immediately—then drops your gaze.

He looks—good. Sporting a couple 6 packs of beer in each hand, Sarah carrying one more behind him. He moves through the crowd easily, saying hi to everyone in passing. God, he looks like a celebrity. It makes you roll your eyes a bit and chug down some of the beer in your hand. 

When he arrives you move past him and greet Sarah. She screams (which makes everyone look at the two of you) and gives you a hug, jumping into your arms. It’s nice to see her. She congratulates you and starts telling you her entire life story that has been the past two years in response to your simple “How’ve you been?” 

You missed her. And you should have stayed in touch more—but you were extremely busy—your dad was lucky to get a phone call once a week. 

“But, he’s not important anymore—isn’t it crazy how fast men can move on? God. Anyways, congratulations again!” She really does move a mile a minute, “Dad, did you say congrats?” 

Her words hit you like a truck—her story, very—ironic—considering your situation with the man she’s pulling over by the bicep. 

“Uh yeah. Hey kid,” he says, not really meeting your eye. 

“‘Hey kid’? Dude—” Sarah gives him a knowing look and pushes him towards you. 

Joel wraps his arm around you—you feel like you can’t breathe. Your face touches his chest and you retract back from the hug like you’ve been burned. It sure feels like it. 

“Congrats,” he gives you a nod and clears his throat. 

Sarah rolls her eyes and gives you a look, her face saying; ‘god why is my dad so weird?’ You try to laugh it off and hope no one notices your blush. 

Thankfully, she pulls you away from him, you toss a look over your shoulder and see him staring back at you. 

_

Liam arrives shortly after. You leave Sarah with some neighborhood friends and make your way to the front door. 

When you open it, you’re pleasantly surprised. 

Liam is—hot? 

You only remember his 12th grade image—sporting hair that was a bit too short for his head and some ill fitting clothes but this is—different. 

He looks nice. Polished. 

Different from what you remembered, or what you expected. 

“Hey!” he says and brings you into a hug. 

“Hey Liam,” you chuckle into his arm.

“Good to see you! I didn’t know if we would ever get together. Have you been getting my calls?” he pulls back and gives you a soft look. 

You feel bad. 

“Uh, I think my dad is like super bad with the phone. I didn’t know you had been calling the house till like yesterday,” you reply sheepishly. God, starting this out with a lie. 

“Hey no worries, anyways, congratulations!” His hand lands on your back as you move to let him inside. It trails a bit lower and you try not to think too much about it. 

“Yeah, you too—Princeton right?” You hope that’s right—you haven’t been keeping up with him. 

“Oh uh Yale, but close enough,” he chuckles and accepts the beer you hand him. 

“Shit. Sorry, I—you know—my brain,” you touch his arm, gently, in apology—and you can’t help but notice the muscle underneath his shirt. “You enjoyed it?” 

“Oh yeah. It was great. Going to Columbia for law school.” 

Hm. Smart. 

“Wow! That’s—wow. Congrats. Really, Liam, that’s awesome,” you say, and you mean it. He’s impressing you. And he’s not so hard on the eyes either. 

It almost makes you forget about your dad’s best friend. Almost. 

Liam pulls you into small talk—you walk him around the house while introducing him to the people you do know—while purposefully trying to avoid the backyard until he suggests getting some air. 

Your dad is the first to greet you—drunk. He’s standing next to Joel. 

“Hey! You made it!” He slurs. Oh god. 

“Yeah thanks for the invite sir,” Liam extends his hand to shake your dad’s. 

“Yeah, yeah…this is Joel,” your dad says as they drop hands. 

Liam extends his to Joel and you bite your lip and almost have to look away out of embarrassment when he takes it. 

“Liam,” he says while shaking. Liam’s eyes turn down to their hands joined and grimaces a bit.

“Joel.” 

“Nice to meet you sir,” Liam says. You can tell he’s trying to drop Joel’s hand. 

“Likewise.” 

Joel lets the handshake go on for far too long. An awkward cloud blankets the air. Liam looks at you and when you meet his eye, you drop his gaze and peek over at Joel. Your dad hardly seems to notice in his drunken state but Joel seems mad—and Liam seems scared. 

When Joel finally lets Liam’s hand go, Liam shakes it out a bit like it’s been crushed. 

Fuck. 

You give Joel a glance and he’s looking back at you—though you can’t read his eye. You shake your head a bit and try to brush it off. You can feel his looks through your father’s conversation. He remains silent—just the occasional scan at Liam when his hand comes to rest on your lower back again. A flick in his jaw is the only indication he might have any emotions towards this situation. 

After some small talk you attempt to pull Liam away. Your dad is way too drunk and Joel is way too brooding for you to witness any longer. 

When you both walk away, you can feel Joel’s hardened gaze bore into the back of your head. It sends shivers through you. 

“You know that guy?” Liam whispers when you exit.

“Yeah, he’s uh—he’s my neighbor,” you stutter. 

“Thought my hand was gonna fall off,” he mutters, looking down at it. 

You smile and just try to laugh it off. 

_

You’re sitting on some lawn chairs with Liam. It's been nice catching up with him. He’s really grown up since the last time you spoke. You wanted to ghost him because he seemed immature. Like the kid you knew four years ago. But this was nice. He was more your speed now. 

And he wasn’t fingering you then pushing you off him in the next instance—which was nice. 

 “I had a good time today,” he says, leaning back on the chair and looking to the side towards you. 

“Me too. Thanks for coming,” you say, smiling back at him. 

“Would you want to—like—get dinner sometime? I know you just got back but…” 

That kind of throws you for a loop. Sure, talking to him at a party is one thing. Dinner—a date—is another. But when your gaze catches Joel standing behind Liam’s head—talking to some woman you don’t recognize—it’s like your mind's made up for you. 

“Sure. That’d be nice,” you say. Liam gives you a smile back. 

You walk him to the door after a bit more talking. Liam said he had something he had to do—you didn’t really hear much after you saw Joel talking to that lady. The kitchen area is still busy with guests—it almost seems like people are still coming in. 

He gives you a kiss on the cheek as he bids you goodbye. You don’t blush. You don’t really do much of anything. 

When you shut the door you let out a huff. This day has been entirely too much and you’re already tired from the thought of seeing your dad drunk again and Sarah’s hyperactive love life she still has to fill you in on.  

“You dating’ him?” 

You whip around to find Joel entering your space. His hands shoved in his pockets. 

You scoff. He doesn’t get to do this. He doesn’t get to weave in and out of your life when it’s convenient for him. 

“Just leave Joel,” you say, defeated. You don’t want to play this game with him anymore. 

“Smart kid,” he notes but he doesn’t sound that genuine and you really can’t deal with this right now. 

“What’s your problem?” you say, hushed, but no one seems to be paying attention to your conversation. 

“I ain’t got one.”

“The handshake, Joel? C’mon,” you say, shaking your head while looking down at the ground “Fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath.

“What’d you say?” He asks—angry. 

“I said you’re a fucking asshole,” you meet his eye. That doesn’t surprise him, but you definitely surprise yourself. He looks angrier. If that’s possible. 

He lets it simmer for a bit before speaking again. 

“‘S none of my business.”

“Yeah. It’s not. So stop shooting daggers at him and trying to break his hand.”

“So he’s gonna be comin’ around more often?” 

“Do I need your permission?” 

“No. Just curious," Jesus christ. He’s making you furious. 

“Why?”  

“You know why.” 

That makes your eyes go wide and you stare back at him in shock. How could he be throwing this back in your face after he ignored you?

“No—” you scoff “—I really don’t.” 

He pauses—like he was about to say something snippy—but after hearing your response he falters. He almost looks hurt. Good. You want him to hurt as much as you were. 

“Hey! There you are!” a neighbor you recognize—a younger man, Mason, accompanied by the same woman Joel was just talking to, “C’mon over—lets me get you guys a drink.”

You follow Mason, Joel follows suit. His brooding energy feels uneasy from behind you. 

You and Joel come around to the empty side of the kitchen island and watch as Mason makes you both a drink. Your hand comes down to play with the hem of your dress but Joel’s standing so close to you that his fingers brush yours, you retract away. 

You and Joel stand in between the kitchen counter and the island. Mason and woman opposite you on the other side of the island. 

“So? School was good?” Mason asks like he’s been keeping up with you. 

“Yeah! Yeah, finished up some research—I’m back for the summer but I need to get a job,” you reply sheepishly with a chuckle. He starts talking about how he went to Texas Tech, and you stop paying attention. 

You peek over at Joel beside you, sipping his beer while looking at Mason talking. You doubt Joel is listening. 

“Anyways! A toast! What a smart kiddo—your dad should be really proud,” Mason says while leaning over the island to meet your glass, you and Joel both do the same. 

When you’re coming back from the toast, lips curling around the rim of the glass, Joel's hand lands on your lower back. 

No one can see—the counter coming up to your waist, with no one nearby except for the pair standing across the counter. Joel's standing so close to your side that they don’t even bat an eye when his hand starts to drift lower. 

You choke on your drink—looking at him from the corner of your eye. 

“You okay sweetheart?” The woman asks.

“Yeah—y-yeah. ‘M fine,” you say through a couple of coughs. 

She looks at you, then back at Joel, giving him a smile—then starts talking with Mason again. 

You bite your lip to keep from bursting. You peak over at him again but he remains cool, unmoving, nodding his head every once in a while at the conversation. 

Your dress is short and it rides up with his hand, moving across your backside. 

You bring your cup to your lips, attempting to hide your mouth when you let out a small—

“What the hell are you doing?” under your hushed breath. 

Of course, he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way. 

You know you could just walk away. Just excuse yourself from the conversation, leaving him and this woman who obviously wants him, behind. But something deep inside you doesn’t want to. Even through all the hurt he put you through—the heartbreak. You still want him, even if this is wildly inappropriate—and you don’t know how much longer you can go before you break. 

His fingers toy with the hem of your dress, eventually threatening to your panties after he hikes the dress up over his hand. 

The pair in front of you are now talking about some raccoon who keeps terrorizing the neighborhood trash cans and you really couldn’t care less. 

You couldn't care less when he pushes your panties to the side to nudge his fingers through your slick. 

His breath hitches at the feeling of you already soaking. His pointer finger catches on your clit, and you forget how the day started. 

“You sure you’re okay sweetie? You look a little pale,” she continues. God. Annoying. 

“Yeah—sorry. Just a bit tired. Long d-day—” the tip of his finger pushes into you. The pair gives you a confused look and you smile back in the hopes they drop it—and they do—thank god. 

“So that kid Liam, your dad said?” Mason gives you a teasing look. 

“Yeah—Liam. I knew him in high school,” you try to keep your wavering voice to a minimum. 

“You guys look good together. Cute couple,” the woman says and you almost choke.

Not because you and Liam are definitely not dating but because at her comment, Joel sinks a finger deep into you and you try not to conceal your whimper with a cough. 

You can feel him huff and let out a small chuckle beside you. 

“Oh we’re not dating, just friends,” you reply with a breathy laugh. You grip the counter so hard it might break.

“Just friends huh? Looked cozy though,” Joel quips from beside you. His tone is teasing like he’s talking to a friend. The pair in front of you laugh. 

“Yeah just friends, Joel,” you try to chuckle with them but it's hard when his finger begins to pump in and out of you while a second nudges at your entrance. 

The thickness of his fingers leaves you breathless while your head spins. 

You can hear your dad from outside—starting to come in and you know you need to leave.  

Joel hears it too, and his fingers slow. 

You reach behind you when the pair isn’t looking, and carefully but quickly, pull his hand away. You almost moan at the loss of his fingers. 

“Excuse me,” you look at the pair, raising your glass to them and give Joel a meet me upstairs look while you slink away quickly. 

You enter the guest bedroom—you don’t want him to see the messy state of your room from unpacking. 

When you shut the door, you let out a small scream—he’s driving you up the walls—and you keep coming back for more. But he needs to know you’re not just for the taking.

The door opens and shuts as you stand with your back facing it, but you know it’s Joel.

“What the fuck Joel?” you turn, exasperated, “What the fuck are you doing?” 

He doesn’t say anything. Just stands there with a hand on his hip. 

When he doesn’t respond you continue—“You can’t just fuck with me whenever you feel like.” 

“I ain’t fuckin’ with you.” 

“You have got to be kidding me,” you say, hands coming to run over your face. “Then what was that downstairs?” No response again. “Is this about Liam?” 

Finally he breaks—“I don’t care about that kid.” 

God, it's like pulling teeth. 

“You don’t care?” you let out a breathless laugh, “Right. Okay. Really seemed like it when you almost broke his hand."

“What?” He steps closer to you, you take one back, “You want me to care?”

“No—I—Jesus, Joel.” You feel like crying, but you bite your lip instead. 

He takes more steps towards you, and you take some more back. Your back hits the wall with a thud and you gasp. 

“You want me to care?” he repeats his statement, a dark, husky drawl wrapping around his words. “‘Bout your little boy toy?” 

You can’t find your words. 

The air is different between you. It’s like he knows that no matter how hard you try, you can’t ever get away from him. That he swirls through your thoughts despite your hardest efforts.

You begin to nod your head before you know what you’re doing. 

His hand comes up and runs his thumb over your bottom lip. 

“Open,” he says while pushing his thumb into your mouth—and you do. 

He eyes your mouth, taking his thumb, instinctively sucking on it as he pushes it down on your tongue. 

“Good girl,” he breathes out.

He takes his thumb out of your mouth, running it over your bottom lip—then he moves—and you think he’s going to leave, but he drops down to his knees instead. 

“I do care. Care quite a bit,” he mumbles into the skin of your legs as his hands roam the backs of your thighs. 

He trails kisses up the inside of your legs—his nose disappearing under your dress—but his eyes stay trained on you. 

He reaches up to push your dress to your stomach, and you hold it for him on instinct. 

His nose rubs against your clothed cunt, placing soft kisses there—you let out a strangled moan. 

“Joel…” you let out in a staggered breath. 

He shakes his head like he’s trying to say don’t, and the movement rubs against your clit and your head hits the wall behind you. 

Joel’s hand comes down to push your panties to the side, holding it there. You squirm when the air hits your dripping core. 

He throws one of your legs over his shoulder so he can access you better. Your heel digs into his back in attempts to bring his mouth closer. 

“Fuck, angel,” he says when he sees your wetness. “Always so wet.” 

“Please Joel, I—” his lips come to wrap around your clit, you’re cut off with a strangled moan. 

He sucks and his tongue darts out to flick your clit, then back down to taste your dripping entrance. He groans against you, and the vibrations shoot through your core. 

“Fuck Joel—I—” you know this isn’t right. You asked him up here to put him in his place, but when his tongue does that on you and your orgasm is quickly approaching, you can’t seem to remember what you wanted to talk to him about, “—God. Please—” 

You’re not even sure what you’re begging for. Maybe it’s your sad attempts to try and get him to stay with you.

His hand comes up between your legs. His fingers dance over your entrance, soaking it in your wetness. 

The tip of his middle finger prods, but doesn’t sink in like you expect. It makes you squirm and whine nonsense to him. 

“You want him, baby? You wish it was him instead?” He says when he pauses and looks up at you. 

“No—no. God—I—you. Joel, want you,” you whine, and moan even louder when he pushes two fingers in at your response.

“That’s it, good girl,” he says when your walls stretch around his fingers. You feel like you might come just from the feeling of them pushing in—and you get even closer when he pumps them at a slow pace. 

It feels like an apology. Like he’s on his knees begging you to forgive him. But you know him better. It’s more like he’s proving he’s gonna be the only one for you ever. Even when you have boys thinking about you 24/7, and you can’t even spare them a single thought. 

“Joel—I—ah—” 

His lips return back to your clit, sucking and flicking and it pushes you over the edge. He can feel you pulsing around him, whispering a soft, “fuck are you coming?” his shock, evident in his tone. 

You push his head back to your clit, and he works on it, pushing you into white oblivion as you slump against the wall. 

You stand there, panting, for a bit. His own breath coming hot onto your skin while he looks up at you. 

When he slowly removes his fingers and lets your leg down from his shoulder, you moan quietly.

“Kiss me,” you plead, still writhing from your orgasm. 

“Get back to your party,” is all he says while straightening out your dress, and leaving the room. 

_

part iii

[cupajoscafe]

Night In | Shikamaru Nara x OC

YOOOOOOOO WHATS GOOD HOMIES I HOPE YALL ARE HAVIN A GREAT DAY!!!! i finally finished the art so that means i CAN POST THIS FIC HEHEHEH this was a lot of fun to write, it was another self indulgent piece of smut from my oc's story!! i really dont know if i have much else to say about this tbh 🧍‍♀️ i guess other than if you dont like ocs or fics about ocs then just go somewhere else bc thats all i post here HAHAHAH ANYWAYS ill be posting the full art on my twitter account and then be linking to it when it's up! i hope yall like this i really worked hard on it 💜

Pairings: Shikamaru Nara x OC

Word Count: 9.5k

Genre: Smut

Warnings: None

Contents: 18+ MINORS DNI. Pre-established relationship, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, toy use, anal, spanking, breeding kink, overstimulation, squirting, sir kink, use of "daddy", unprotected sex, creampie with the intent of impregnation. Entirely self indulgent. No editing, we die like women. If I missed any, please let me know!

Summary: While having a nice night to themselves, Shikamaru's wife tells him that their son wants a little sibling.

Being a parent to a toddler was hard work. The diaper changing, the clean up after playtime, the meal making, not to mention the fatigue from constant sleepless nights. Shikamaru was lucky in that regard; he spent most of his time at work as Kakashi's right hand helping him run the village. He did his best to help out when he could, of course, but since his job was so demanding, it meant that Yuuna was at home most of the time looking after their son. It was exhausting.

But none of that was even the worst part. The hardest thing was the fact that their time together was so limited. Because Shikamaru was always at work, he often didn't come home until late, and rarely had any time off. And when he did get home, Shikaro would fuss and the couple would have to find a way to calm down their son. By the time he was feeling better and had fallen back to sleep, they would be too exhausted to spend time together and would go right to bed. So when Yuuna's brother offered to babysit for the night, she couldn't have been more excited.

"You're serious? You'll look after him tonight?" She grinned, holding her son in her arms. Shikaro reached a hand out to his uncle and touched his face, running his little hand across the burn scar over Tetsuya's left eye.

"Yeah, totally!" He confirmed with a chuckle as his nephew curiously explored the damaged skin on his face. "I know you could have pawned him off on Shikamaru's mom, but it's been a while since I've had some quality time with my little buddy."

Shikaro reached out to grab Tetsuya. The man took his nephew from his sister and held him up, planting a smooch on the toddler's cheek. The toddler cooed happily, wrapping his arms around his uncle's neck. Yuuna let out a giggle watching her brother dote on her son and sighed.

"Thank you, Tetsuya. You have no idea how much this means." She gave her brother a sincere smile, extending a hand out to touch him gently on the arm.

"Hey, it's no problem. I figured that since I'm cleared of missions until the weekend, I could lend a helping hand." He looked at Shikaro and hoisted him up a little, shifting his weight. "You and Shikamaru both work so hard and could use a break, so it's the least I can do as your brother."

She smiled at him again and looked over at her son. "Whaddya say, buddy? Do you wanna hang out with uncle Tetsuya tonight?"

"Yah yah!!" He clapped, looking down at his uncle. "Unco Tetsu, Unco Tetsu!!"

"I'll take that as a yes, huh?" Tetsuya laughed, planting another kiss on the toddler's cheek.

"C'mon buddy, let's go see daddy at work and then we'll get ready, okay?" Yuuna said as she grabbed Shikaro from her brother's arms.

"Yah yah!! Gonna see daddy!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"I'll stop by around three and drop him off. That work for you?" She suggested, turning back to her brother.

"Yeah, sounds perfect." Tetsuya smiled. He grabbed Shikaro's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll see you soon, little man!"

The siblings turned and walked away from one another with a wave, and Shikaro called out after him.

"Baibai Unco Tetsu!!" He exclaimed with a smile, waving happily after him. He looked up at his mother and she met his eyes. "I get to play wif Unco Tetsu today mama!!"

"You sure do, buddy!" She giggled, nuzzling her nose against his. "Are you excited?"

Shikaro nodded and turned back to watch his uncle walking away. "Mama, I wanna brover to play wif me and Unco Tetsu!" He turned back to look at his mom, who stopped walking for a minute to look at him. "Can I have a brover? Pweeeeeease?"

Yuuna had to stop herself from bursting into laughter before she continued on their commute. "Maybe. I'll have to see what daddy says. No promises."

The walk to the Hokage's office didn't take long. As Yuuna walked down the hall, two members of Team Guy were leaving the office. Shikaro noticed the familiar faces and demanded to say hi to his auntie and uncle. Neji had to practically pry Tenten away from the toddler so they wouldn't be late for their mission. Once the duo was gone, Yuuna walked up to the office door and knocked lightly, waiting for the invitation into the room.

"Come on in," Kakashi called out from behind the wood. Yuuna opened the door and smiled brightly as she locked eyes with her husband.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" Shikamaru chuckled, walking over to his family. He turned to Kakashi, "Sorry, do you mind if I excuse myself for a sec?"

"Of course, take your time." Kakashi grinned. 

The Nara turned back to his wife and son and placed his hand on her back as he gently escorted them out of the office and guided them a little ways down the hall. Shikaro reached out for his father who happily held him in his arms.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you two," He started, looking from Shikaro to Yuuna. "But what are you doing here? You don't usually come by the office."

"Well, I have some good news!" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "My brother wanted to look after Shikaro tonight, to give us a break! Which means if you're not here too late, we can finally have an evening to ourselves!"

"I'm gonna play wif Unco Tetsu today!" Shikaro reiterated, enthusiastically throwing his hands up into the air.

"Oh, is that so?" Shikamaru grinned looking at his son. The boy nodded his head. "Well, that sure sounds like it's gonna be a whole lot of fun, huh?"

"Yah yah!! Gonna hab a play day!" Shikaro clapped his hands together. Shikamaru looked at his wife and raised an eyebrow.

"You know my mother's gonna have a fit when she finds out that he's staying with Tetsuya and not her, right?" He chuckled. 

"Yoshino's had plenty of time with him!" Yuuna countered. "Not that I'm not grateful for the help she's given us, but she always jumps at the opportunity. So when Tetsuya offered, of course I said yes. I figured it would be nice for him to have some uncle-nephew time with him, y'know?"

He hoisted Shikaro up a little and softened his expression slightly. "Just don't tell my mother that. She's gonna be on my butt for not being able to dote on her grandson."

Yuuna giggled and took a step closer to him, placing her arms on his. "Don't worry, she'll never know." She stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips. "So, think you can finish early tonight? Thought we could cook dinner together and then maybe watch a movie or something."

He looked over his shoulder at the office door, then back to his wife. "It's been pretty slow today, I think I can swing that."

She bounced on her toes excitedly and clapped her hands. "Awesome!! I'm dropping Shikaro off at Tetsuya's in about an hour and a half. I can start dinner when I get back."

They began to head back towards the office. Shikamaru looked down at Yuuna as they walked and smiled. "I can probably be home around four, if that works." 

She nodded as she curled her fingers around the doorknob. "That's perfect." She opened the door and the couple walked back into the office. Shikaro's eyes lit up when he saw Kakashi and he cooed happily. She took him from her husband and held him closely.

"Everything alright?" The Hokage asked casually. The couple nodded.

"We're finally getting a break tonight and I wanted to plan dinner, that's all." She giggled. 

Kakashi hummed and leaned back in his chair. "That's good to hear. You deserve it with how hard the two of you work."

"It's been kinda dead today, think I can call it early?" Shikamaru asked, turning to look from his wife to Kakashi. The Hokage looked down at the stack of paperwork on his desk and swiveled in his chair a little.

"I think once we get through this stack, I can handle the rest for the day." His eyes crinkled as he smiled under his mask. Shikamaru gave a subtle smirk as he turned to look at his wife and son.

"There you go, you heard it yourself." He spoke, placing his hands in his pockets as he shifted his weight. "Gimme a few hours and I'll be home, sound good?"

Yuuna beamed up at her husband and nodded. "That sounds perfect." She turned back towards Kakashi and gave a small bow. "Sorry for showing up unexpectedly, thanks for letting me talk to him."

Kakashi chuckled and waved a hand dismissively in front of his face. "No, no, it's no problem. You're welcome to stop by whenever you like, you know." He took note of the toddler staring and cooing at him, then waved at him. "And Shikaro is welcome to visit his father any time he likes, too." 

Yuuna hoisted the child up a little and chuckled. "Shikaro, say hi to Lord Hokage!" She requested, waving her hand at Kakashi to demonstrate. He looked at his mother and then at Kakashi and smiled, waving back at him like she was.

"Hi Lord Hokage!" He chimed, waving excitedly. The adults smiled at him and all chuckled in unison.

"Alright, well, we'll let you guys get back to work." Yuuna sighed with a grin, turning to face her husband. She reached up onto her tiptoes to plant a kiss onto his lips. "I'll see you when you get home, baby."

Shikamaru placed a hand on her arm as she kissed him, stroking it gently when she pulled away. "Sounds good." He looked down at his son and cupped his hand around the back of his head gently and leaned down to plant a loving kiss on his forehead. "Be good for mommy and Uncle Tetsuya, okay?"

Shikaro clapped and nodded. "Okay, I pwomise!!"

They shared their goodbyes and went back to work and Yuuna headed back home to the Nara residence. Once home, she let Shikaro run around the house to collect his favourite toys and pajamas while she packed his essentials. He came running back with two armfuls of different toys and stuffed animals he wanted to bring, but they managed to narrow it down to three items after some fussing. She let him hold onto one and packed away the other two. Once his bag was packed and ready to go, she threw together some quick snacks for him to eat before she brought him over to her brother. Whatever he didn't eat she packed away into a lunch box and included it with his overnight bag.

The time to leave came quickly, and Shikaro couldn't have been more excited. He made the decision to walk instead of having his mother carry him. Yuuna walked close beside her son and watched as he waddled along, holding his hand and guiding him in the proper direction. When they reached Tetsuya's apartment Shikaro ran inside with an excited screech. The siblings laughed and Yuuna handed off Shikaro's overnight bag to Tetsuya. She called her son over to say goodbye, picking him up and planting a motherly kiss on the child's lips. She hugged her son tightly and set him down and he ran back off into his uncle's house. She then pulled Tetsuya into a hug as well. They exchanged goodbyes and then went their separate ways.

On the way home, she decided to stop by the market and pick up some ingredients for dinner. Once they were purchased she headed home and began to sift through her fridge and cupboards to find everything that they'd need to make their meal. It wasn't long into the preparations when she heard the front door open.

"Hey, I'm home." Shikamaru called out from the hallway. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his flak jacket, setting it down on the couch as he passed by the living room. He wandered into the kitchen and stood behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to press a kiss to the side of her head. "I haven't heard the house this quiet in years."

"I know, and we have all night to enjoy it!" Yuuna giggled as she started peeling a potato. She turned her head slightly to look at him and smiled. "Now come help, I wanna cook together!"

He sighed and kissed her head again, releasing her from his grip. He reached into the drawer and pulled out a large kitchen knife and began to chop the carrots that Yuuna had already peeled. They stood at the kitchen counter together, enjoying one another's company as they prepped their dinner. Once everything had been cooked, Yuuna poured them some drinks and they sat down at the dinner table to eat. They took the time to catch up with everything that they'd missed from the other. Having a toddler and different schedules made it difficult sometimes to hold casual conversations, so they hadn't had a chance in quite some time to be able to sit down to talk the way they were doing now. They kept their conversation going all throughout dinner, and when they were finished eating they helped one another clean up. When the last dish was washed, they brought their drinks over to the sofa where they sat cuddled up next to one another. Yuuna looked up at her husband and smiled over her wine glass.

"Cheers to having the house to ourselves for a change." She chuckled, holding her glass up in front of her. Shikamaru eyed her wine glass with a grin and chuckled, clinking his glass against hers.

"I'll drink to that." He smirked, taking a sip of his beer. 

He draped his arm around the back of the couch, letting his fingers trace circles on her shoulder. She rested her hand on his thigh, running it up and down his leg as she took another sip of wine.

"I love you, baby." She hummed, looking into his eyes. He planted his hand down on her shoulder and pulled her in close to him, pressing his lips against hers in a sweet kiss. He pulled away after a minute and looked into her emerald gaze.

"I love you too, noodle." He grinned, closing the gap between them again. She hummed contently against his lips, then pulled away to take another sip of her drink. 

They sat there for a moment, looking into each other's eyes, tensions slowly building as the alcohol in their systems gradually began to take effect. He continued to rub her shoulder, slipping his hand underneath her sweater to drag his fingernails along her bare skin. Her hand began to move higher and higher up his leg every time she stroked back up his thigh. She shifted a little, moving closer to him with a goofy smile on her face.

"So Shikaro was asking about wanting a brother today." She mentioned, heat rising to her face. Shikamaru took another sip of his beer and placed the empty glass down on the coffee table in front of them.

"Oh he did, did he?" He spoke quietly, inching his face closer to hers and resting his now free hand on her knee. Yuuna finished off her wine, placing her empty glass down to accompany his on the table.

"Mhmm," she nodded, looking between his mocha eyes with a smile, "He was saying he wished he had a brother to take on his play dates and asked me if he could have one."

"And what did you tell him?" He began to rub his hand from her knee up her thigh. She bit her lip lightly as she felt her heart pounding.

"I told him I'd have to ask daddy." She reached her free hand up to cup his face, rubbing her thumb along his cheek as she looked at his lips.

"Well, whaddya think? Should we give him a sibling?" He pulled her closer to him, their lips barely touching, "'Cause daddy wouldn't mind fucking another baby into you."

She let out a shaky breath, her eyelids fluttering at the words that dripped off his tongue like honey. A tightness arose in the pit of her stomach and she surged forward, pressing her lips hard enough against his to make him lean back. She glided her hand up his thigh and over his crotch, rubbing his stiffening erection with a smile. He let out a low groan at the stimulation, in turn sliding his hand down from her shoulder to her breast. He massaged her flesh between his fingers, pulling it out from her bra for easier access. She parted her lips and dragged her tongue across his mouth, pushing it past lips to meet his. He leaned forward and pushed her down onto her back, rolling her sweater up to her collarbone and unclasping her bra. He began to knead her tits between his fingers as his tongue lashed against hers, slating a knee between her legs as she ground down against it.

"So desperate, I guess you do want daddy to fuck a baby into you, huh?" He growled hungrily, tugging at her lip with his teeth as he flicked his thumbs over her nipples. She let out a quiet moan, breathing heavily as she rutted her hips upwards against his knee. He kissed her again, their tongues meeting in a heated dance for a moment before he pulled away. "No need to be quiet this time, there's nobody else here. I wanna hear just how good I make you feel."

Shikamaru shifted his head down just enough to be able to take one of her nipples into his mouth, flicking at the bud with his tongue. She let out another quiet moan into the air. Unimpressed, he bit down on her nipple harshly, eliciting a loud yelp from his wife.

"Ow, what the fuck was that?" Yuuna scolded, brows furrowed and face flushed. He licked at the nub again, sucking on it gently.

"I said you don't have to be quiet." He pulled away from her chest with a loud pop and looked into her eyes with a mischievous smile. "I wanna hear every noise that comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours, and I want to hear it loud. Gotta hear how good I make you feel."

Before she could respond he immediately took her nipple into his mouth again, flicking his tongue against it quickly as he pinched the other between his fingers. She moaned again, louder this time. He smiled against her skin as he kneaded her breast in his hand, a hungry growl resonating in the back of his throat.

"That's my girl," He huffed as he continued to lap at her sensitive nipple. She rolled her hips forward against his knee again and brought one hand up to the back of his head, threading her fingers through his hair and loosening it from his hair tie. She breathed out another sultry moan and could feel his lips turning up into a smile against her skin. "Fuck, you're so needy, aren't you?"

"Gimme a break, it's been a minute since the last time we fucked." She joked with a pant, reaching her hand down into his trousers to curl her fingers around his girth. He let out a loud groan and bit down lightly on her nipple as he rutted his hips into her hand. She smirked down at him and bit her lip. "Looks like you're just as needy for me, huh?"

He pulled away from her with a pop, her breast bouncing as it settled against her chest again. Shikamaru frowned down at her and sucked the air through his teeth, his face flushing red as her grin grew wider.

"What's the matter?" She cooed, giving his cock a few steady pumps and running her thumb over his slit. He huffed out another low groan, his eyes shutting as his hips involuntarily bucked forward into her handq9. "You're not getting flustered, are you?"

He opened his eyes and grimaced, furrowing his brows as he swiftly shifted his thigh from between her legs and replaced it with his fingers, slipping them under her leggings and gliding them over her soaking panties. She opened her mouth to gasp but he shoved his tongue into her mouth to stifle the noise before she could. "Would you just shut up and let me take care of you?" He growled as he pulled away for breath, the small string of saliva that connected their tongues dissipating. "Quit being such a pain and let me take the reins, would you?"

Yuuna's eyelids closed half way as she looked up at her husband. Normally she would be a bit more stubborn and protest, but tonight was different. It was the first time in months that they'd been able to be together like this without having to worry about being too loud or too discreet. So she decided to bite her tongue, just this once. She smiled up at him and spread her knees apart, allowing him to move his hand freely. He scoffed in response, moving in to kiss her again as he slipped his hand under her panties to touch her bare skin. She moaned loudly into his mouth, removing her hand from inside his pants and wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him in closer. 

"That's more like it." He slid his fingers through her folds, slicking them with her arousal before dipping his middle finger into her sex. He began to leisurely move his digit in and out of her hole, closing the gap between their faces again with a slow, passionate kiss. "Such a good girl, so wet for me." He chuckled as he pulled away for air, adding a second finger to stretch her out a little more. She bit her lip and moaned with a smile, looking up at him as she ground her hips against his hand.

"'Cause you make me feel so good," She whispered, running her hands along his arms. He smirked down at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?" He inquired, tilting his head to the side a bit with a grin. He continued to move his hand at a slow and steady pace, his eyes fixated on her emerald gaze. "Why don't you tell me just how good I make you feel, huh?" He began to move his wrist quicker, feeling her walls clench around his fingers. She panted and tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, grinding down hard against his hand.

"So good," She whimpered, her brows turning upward in a longing expression. "Fuck, feels so good, love it when you play with my pussy baby."

He felt his cock twitch under his pants as she spoke so boldly, slowing his wrist movement again and diving down to take one of her nipples between his lips once more. He lashed at it with his tongue, and when he was done he dragged his mouth across her chest to the other one to do the same. She moaned loudly again, in turn causing Shikamaru to groan against her flesh. He trailed his tongue up her chest to her collarbone, then to her neck, then to the shell of her ear. He suckled on her earlobe as he continued to thrust his fingers into her.

"Daddy's gonna fuck you so good tonight." He growled into her ear, tracing his tongue along her earlobe before shifting to look down at her with a devilish grin. The look alone was enough to make her cunt throb. He felt her clench around his fingers and he slid them out of her hole to circle her clit. "Sounds like you're into that, aren't you?"

She nodded her head and ground her hips against his digits, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. As soon as their lips met, they let their tongues explore the other's mouth, swirling around in a heated dance. Shikamaru slipped both hands into the elastic waistband of Yuuna's leggings and underwear, and slid them down past her ankles and off of her legs. He began to shift backwards on the couch, kissing down her neck as he went. His lips traveled to her collarbone, then across the expanse of her chest, then down to her stomach, and then stopped as he hovered his lips above her aching clit. He massaged her inner thighs, squeezing them and running his hands up and down, pulling apart her folds to get a good look at her dripping, trembling hole. He shifted forward slightly to kiss her clit, and again, and again, spreading her pussy open. She whimpered at the sensation, bucking her hips forward. He looked up at her as he held her lips open, kissing her nerves again.

"What's the matter?" He grumbled with a sly grin on his face, his lips just barely touching her flesh as he spoke.

She grabbed onto the back of his head and tried to pull him forward but he didn't budge. She tried to grind her hips forward but he pulled back every time, denying her the relief she wanted. "C-C'mon, please, I need it," She whined, brows turning up to look at her husband desperately.

"Need what?" He chuckled as he continued to pull apart her folds, teasing her further. "You know I can't give you what you want unless you tell me what it is."

Her face burned hot. He did this every time, and he knew it was a surefire way to get her flustered and submissive. She bit down on her lip and gripped down onto his head. "L-Lick my p-pussy," She whispered, averting his gaze. He squinted at her and called out to her to bring her attention back to him.

"If you're gonna tell me what you want, you better look me in the eyes when you tell me," He growled between her legs, "Otherwise I'm not doing a goddamn thing."

She could feel her cunt trembling again as he scolded her. She swallowed and looked him in the eyes, face hot and flushed, "I–...I want you to l-lick my pussy, please," She pleaded quietly. Her clit throbbed as he spread her cunt open again, swallowing as she saw him smile.

"I don't quite think I heard you." He growled, breath hot on her skin, his lips once again barely touching her sensitive bud. She gripped down tightly onto his head, grasping at his hair, watching him with needy eyes.

"I want you to lick my pussy," She spoke loudly, her body trembling as she felt the build up of pressure in her gut, desperate for release. "Please, I w-want you to lick my pussy and make me cum…!!"

Without another word, Shikamaru dove forward and began lashing his tongue against her clit and she immediately let out a lewd moan that echoed through their empty home. She ground down against his tongue as it lapped at her clit, pulling one of her hands up to her breast to massage the flesh between her fingers. He let out a soft groan at the taste of her on his tongue, wrapping his arms around her thighs and holding her against his mouth as he continued to devour her sex like he'd never get another chance. He dug his fingernails into her thighs and nodded his head along as he licked from her entrance to her clit and then back, dipping his tongue into her entrance and fucking her with his mouth. 

She moaned out loud again, flicking her thumb over her nipple as her other hand buried itself in Shikamaru's hair, watching as he ate her pussy like a starved animal. He groaned again at the taste of her on his tongue, pulling out of her clenching walls and whipping his tongue against her puffy clit. Her breathing became laboured as the telltale signs of her approaching orgasm were drawing closer. He shifted one hand from her thigh, inserting two fingers into her hole as he began to thrust. She bucked her hips forward, grinding against his face as her moans got louder and louder, doing nothing but spurring him on more. He grinned as she squirmed around, using his free hand to press down hard against her womb, keeping her in place.

"C'mon, baby, cum for Daddy," He grunted, watching her blissful expression as he pleasured her. He could feel her walls tightening around his fingers and the corners of his mouth turned up into a smug smile as he listened to her falling apart on his tongue. "Atta girl, cum for me, yeah?"

With his instruction, Yuuna's back arched up off of the couch as she rode his tongue and fingers, her eyes rolling back into her skull with a lewd moan as she climaxed. Her body shook and squirmed as she rolled her hips against his face, riding out her orgasm, panting to catch her breath. He continued to suckle on her aching clit as she came around his fingers, lips pulled into a triumphant smile as he watched her expression of pure ecstacy. As she came down from her high she bucked her hips and writhed around, her entire body sensitive from her orgasm. He pulled his fingers out from her soaking cunt and sat up, crawling overtop of her with a huff. He  leaned in close and shoved his tongue past her lips, cupping the back of her head with one hand as he held her face against his. A lewd moan slipped out of her throat at the taste of her pussy on his tongue and it sent a throb right between her legs. He pulled away to catch his breath and she panted beneath him, eyes glassed over with pleasure.

"You're gonna walk over to the bedroom, get naked, then get on the bed on all fours. Your ass better be up in the air by the time I get in there, understood?" He growled, glaring down at her with a primal hunger in his eyes. She nodded her head a few times and was shifting to get off the couch. Unsatisfied with her response, Shikamaru scoffed and gave her a light slap on the cheek. He grabbed her face between his fingers and squished her face, forcing her to look up at him. "Is that how you address me?"

"Y-Yes sir," She answered again, speech impaired slightly from his hand squeezing her lips together. He smirked and released her face, pulling back from her to allow her to sit up. 

She scooted off the couch and quickly made her way to their bedroom. Shikamaru watched her as she walked down the hallway, making sure to get a good look at her ass as it bounced with every step she took. When she was out of sight he let out a satisfied chuckle. With one arm draped over the back of the sofa, he moved the other down to fist his cock and give it a few steady strokes. When he heard the creaking of their bed, he stood up and walked down the hallway to the threshold of their bedroom. As he had requested of her, Yuuna had removed her clothes and was laying face down on the bed, her legs spread and her ass up in the air. He smirked and strolled over to the bed, removing his trousers, and sunk his knees into the mattress behind her. 

He ran his hands along the expanse of her ass, giving it a squeeze before landing a harsh spank against her skin. She jolted and let out a yelp. He massaged her ass cheek to ease the pain before repeating the process until the skin was burning bright red. He fisted his cock again and gave it a few steady pumps before sliding it through her dripping folds a few times, then pulled his hips back and slapped his shaft against her asshole. He wrapped her ass cheeks around his cock as he began to slowly grind his hips forward. She let out a quiet, needy moan at the sensation, feeling her cunt throb at the thought of his cock inside her.

"F-Fuck, p-please," She whined, wiggling her hips invitingly. "N-Need it, n-need your cock."

He leaned forward, pressing his chest against her back, kissing the back of her neck. "What do you need, huh?"

"Fuck me," She replied without hesitation, backing her hips up against him. "Need your cock inside me, n-need you to stretch me out, p-please…!"

He chuckled at her desperation and kissed her neck again, then down her back. He sat up and ran his cock through her folds again, coating it with her arousal before pushing the head of his cock past her entrance. He pushed his hips forward and buried his cock deep into her cunt, the head of his cock pressing against her cervix. She mewled loudly, the position allowing him to hit deep into her pussy. She began to bounce her hips on his cock, her face pressed into the pillows as she panted. He grabbed a handful of her ass and squeezed the skin, gripping onto it tightly as he matched her pace. 

The room quickly filled with the sounds of lewd squelching, skin slapping, and lustful moans. Shikamaru tipped his head to the side as he watched his cock disappear into her cunt, fucking hard into her soaking pussy with ease. He let one hand rest at his side and pressed the other flat against the small of her back, holding her down. He huffed with a devilish grin as an idea crossed his mind. He spat down onto her asshole and circled it with the pad of his thumb. Yuuna's body reacted to the sensation and he could feel her walls tightening around his cock. He then slowly inserted his thumb past her rim down to the first knuckle.

"Fuuuuuck–...!!" She moaned, her eyes rolling back as he began to thrust his thumb in and out of her asshole in rhythm with his cock.

"Like that, don't you?" He grunted, sinking his thumb deeper into her hole. She nodded in agreement, moving one of her hands to her clit where she began to rub it with her fingers. He felt her walls clench around his cock again and he pulled his thumb from her ass, spitting down on it again and inserting his middle and ring fingers instead. She groaned hungrily as he scissored his digits inside her hole, bouncing her ass harder against his cock and fingers, flicking quickly at her clit. "Yeah, that's a good girl."

Her eyes crossed and her brows furrowed upwards as she felt her orgasm drawing close. He inserted a third finger into her ass, thrusting hard as his cock throbbed inside her cunt. It was enough to push her over the edge, and she screamed out loud as she came around his cock, rubbing her clit fast as she let her orgasm take over her body. She twitched underneath him, her knees trembling as she continued to slowly trace circles around her clit and back her hips up against him.

"Look at you, falling apart on my cock like a dirty little slut," He groaned, slowing his hips and leaning forward so his chest was pressed against her back. He ground his cock lazily into her hole, kissing her neck and nibbling on her earlobe. "What do you say to me for making you cum, huh?"

"Th-Thank you," she sputtered, her eyes halfway closed and her hips shaking as she felt his fingers moving inside her ass and his cock sliding in and out of her hole. He scoffed and used his free hand to grab onto her face and pull her head up, locking eyes with his wife.

"Thank you what?" He grunted, leisurely rutting his hips against hers. She swallowed and a quiet moan slipped past her lips.

"Th-Thank you, sir," She slurred, eyes fluttering halfway closed and rolling back into her skull getting drunk off his dick.

He grinned and released her face from his grip, pressing his lips to her cheek and licking at her salty skin, "Atta girl." He pulled his head away from hers and sat up, pressing his free hand flat against the side of her head and pushing her into the pillows. He tipped his head to the side and watched his cock disappear inside her, pulling his fingers out from her asshole and instead dug them into her hips. The lustful whine she gave didn't go unnoticed. Shikamaru squinted down at her and sucked the air through his teeth. "What's the matter? You want this hole filled up too?"

He felt her nod under his hand and the wicked grin on his lips only grew wider. Keeping himself buried deep inside her cunt, he stopped moving to reach over to her bedside table. He opened the drawer to find her hidden stash of toys he knew were there. Leaning over, he reached into the drawer to pull out her bottle of lube and her favourite toy; a large, mint green, silicone dildo. He'd come home late a handful of times to see her shoving it quickly back into the drawer to try and hide it, but he knew right away what she was hiding from him. He opened the bottle of lubricant and squeezed some of the water-based liquid onto the tip of the dildo, letting it drip down the rubber shaft. He pressed the head of the toy up against her asshole.

"This what you wanted?" He inquired with a cocked eyebrow and a sly grin as he once more began to move his hips against hers. She looked at him over her shoulder, eyes hazy and full of lust.

"Yes sir," she squeaked, nodding her head and staring at the silicone toy. Her mouth began to water and she licked her lips. He scoffed and furrowed his brow.

"And what exactly is it that you want?" He pressed, rutting his cock into her at a lax pace. He could see Yuuna's face burn bright red and it brought a grin right back to his face.

"C-Cock…in my a-ass…" She mewled, pushing her hips back against her husband and the toy in an attempt to satisfy her need for feeling full. She swallowed thickly and picked herself up, supporting her weight with her hands and fisting the bed sheets beneath her. She turned her head to look at him and meet his eyes with a needy whine. "P-Please, want you to fill me up, f-fuck my ass and my pussy."

He let out a groan and shoved the dildo into her ass all the way to the base and she let out a cry of mixed pleasure and pain. The sudden gesture caused her to lose her balance and she fell forward, burying her face in the pillows once more. He leaned over her, ramming his cock deep into her sex as he thrusted the toy swiftly in and out of her ass.

"Dirty little slut," He growled, pressing his lips against her shoulder and biting at her skin. She let out a slew of moans as the pressure built up in her gut once more. He smirked against her salty skin, moving both his wrist and his hips at a steady pace. He glanced back to watch the green cock slide in and out of her tight ass, grunting as he moved the toy quicker. He continued to ram the fake cock into her hole, matching the pace with his hips as he plowed into her cunt. The intensity of the combined thrusts was enough to send her hurtling towards another orgasm, crying out his name in ecstasy as her vision went white.

Her eyes crossed and her body convulsed as she gripped onto the pillow, tears spilling down her cheeks at the immense pleasure that racked her body. He huffed and slowed his pace to catch his breath.

"That's my good girl," he praised, kissing her shoulder again. He moved his lips to meet hers, licking into her mouth and groaning against her tongue. He pulled away with a pant, saliva dribbling down his chin as his tongue lolled from his mouth for a moment. He pressed his lips against her ear and whispered, "You're gonna get on top of me and fuck yourself on my cock, understood?"

Her eyelids fluttered as he spoke and she compliantly nodded her head. She felt his body moving away from hers and whined when he pulled out of her holes. He sat behind her for a moment and gave her ass a light spank, groping her flesh in his hands and pulling her ass cheeks apart. He watched as her hole twitched and gaped now that it was empty, smirking from above her. 

"So desperate to be full, aren't you sweetheart?" He muttered, landing another smack against her skin. The harsh contact made her yelp and her body shook. He kneaded her flesh between his fingers, slicking the dildo up with her arousal before dipping it back into her ass again only twice. He pulled the toy out of her hole and watched it gape again as she looked over her shoulder at him and whined. 

He flashed another sly smile to her and moved to lay down next to her on his back. She got on top of her husband, straddling his waist and pressing her hands down against his chest. She began to roll her hips against him, rubbing her sensitive clit against his shaft. His hands moved to her waist where his nails dug into her flesh, watching her hips move against his body. He bit at his lip and groaned, throwing his head back into the pillow and bucking his hips up against her. She giggled as she moved, watching his expression from above him.

"Does that feel good, baby?" She purred, circling her hips languidly against Shikamaru's. He looked up into her eyes and furrowed his brow with a scoff, grabbing a fistful of her hair and snapping her head to the side. She shut her eyes and let out a hiss at the stinging on her scalp. Her eyes opened to see his glaring daggers back at her.

"Don't you go thinking that you're in charge just because you're on top," he growled into the air. He tugged her hair again and she whimpered, shutting her eyes once more. "Now do what I told you to do."

One emerald eye met his intense mocha gaze. She nodded her head as much as the grip on her hair would allow her to. "Y-Yes sir." She submitted. His frown turned up into a smirk and he released his grip on her head, shifting his hand to rest on her waist instead. 

He watched as she scooted back a little and took the bottle of lube off the bed. She flipped the cap open and squeezed the cold liquid down onto his aching cock, using her free hand to stroke his length and spread the lube down his shaft. She turned around so her back was facing him and wiggled her hips as she lined the head of his cock up with her ass. With a gasp, she lowered herself down onto his cock, burying him deep inside of her. She panted as she moved her hips up then sunk back down onto him. He snaked his hands up to her waist and sucked the air through his teeth, digging his fingers into her plush skin and watching as his girth disappeared inside her asshole. The tightness made his dick throb and he couldn't stop himself from letting out a pleasured groan.

She leaned forward, pressing her hands into the mattress to keep herself upright as she began to bounce her hips against his cock. She worked herself up into a steady rhythm as she adjusted for the stretch and it wasn't long before she was a mewling mess above him. He matched Yuuna's pace, fucking up into her ass and slapping his hips against hers with labored grunts.

"So fucking tight," he muttered, exhaling sharply through his nose. He watched his cock disappear deep inside her body and he licked his lips. She moved one hand from the mattress to her cunt, spreading her folds apart to caress her aching clit. She circled it with her fingers, dipping her digits inside her entrance and flicking her wrist. Her eyes crossed a little at the sensation, letting a soft whimper roll off her tongue. She glanced down next to her to see her favourite toy laying on the bed. Her pussy throbbed at the thought of having another cock inside her. She pulled her fingers from her hole and picked the dildo up, running it through her folds and coating it with her arousal before pushing it all the way into her sex with ease. She leaned forward, pressing her chest against the mattress and bouncing her hips against the two dicks inside of her. 

Her eyelids fluttered half closed and her eyes crossed, her brow turning up as the pleasure grew inside her gut. She yelped in surprise as he landed another spank against her skin, then massaged the flesh between his fingers. He repeated the action a few times, bucking his hips upwards but for the most part letting her do the work. He landed one more slap against her skin before sitting up just enough to snake his arm around her waist and pull her down so her back was flush with his chest. He dug his heels into the mattress and thrusted up fast into her asshole, his cock twitching as her tightness wrapped around him. She met his pace with the dildo, ramming the toy fast and deep into her pussy. Her breath hitched in her throat as the pleasure began to build up inside of her. He watched over her shoulder as she fucked herself with the toy, biting down against her shoulder and slamming his hips up into hers. She let out another yelp and pressed her head back, staring up wide eyed at the ceiling of their bedroom. He repeated the action again, and again, hitting deep inside her with every roll of his hips. He grunted as he held his hips against her ass, panting to catch his breath and watch as she slid the dildo in and out of her wet hole.

"Fuck," she muttered, eyes slamming shut as she bucked her hips forward, both cocks dragging against her walls. Her breathing became labored as her hand moved faster. The head of the dildo punched her cervix with each thrust inside her and she could feel her legs trembling.

He watched over her shoulder again as she used the toy. "Gonna cum again?" He prodded, moving his hips against her once he had caught his breath. He began to move faster, not quite matching the pace of her hand but thrusting hard and deep inside of her ass. She nodded at his question, eyes glassed over with pleasure as tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. He wrapped his other arm tight around her waist and began to thrust up hard into her, matching the rhythm she had set for herself. 

Her eyes widened and she cried shamelessly out into the air as the coil inside her gut finally snapped, sending her nerves into overdrive. Her holes clenched tightly around the cocks inside her, and a clear liquid gushed out from her cunt as she came. It splashed onto the bed sheets, soaking through to the mattress around their feet. His eyes narrowed hungrily, watching her hips convulse as she squirted.

"My wife is such a messy girl," He purred into her ear, slowing his hips to an easy, steady rhythm. "Cumming so hard she soaked through the sheets. And now the bed is all wet, what a drag."

She laid on top of him, chest heaving for air as her orgasm subsided. He ran his hands up and down her salty skin, kissing her neck from underneath her, gripping onto her tight. He grasped onto her waist and pushed her up and off of his stiff girth, scooting over to the side and laying her down next to him. He skated his hand down to the front of her body where he grabbed onto the suctioned end of the dildo and slowly pulled it from her clenching pussy, tossing it to the side and ghosting his fingers over her sensitive skin. His hand moved up from her pelvis to her stomach, then to her chest where he grabbed a handful of one of her tits to squeeze and massage, before letting it bounce and settle against her chest as his fingers moved up to her neck. He slipped his hand behind her head and pulled her into a fiery kiss, nodding his head along and licking into her mouth. Her tongue glided against his, a slew of moans dripping off of it as his hand moved back down her body again. He slipped it under her thigh and propped her leg up against his forearm, dipping his fingers into her sensitive core. She twitched at the stimulation but didn't push him away, instead bringing her hand up to touch his face and pull him in closer to her. They pulled away from each other to catch their breath, hot air fanning against the other's face as a string of saliva connected their tongues.

"How's about daddy knocks you up now, huh?" he grinned, looking down at her lips. He watched as she took her lower lip between her teeth and nodded just a little, then pressed his lips against hers once more. He let out a moan against her mouth as he moved his fingers inside of her, curling them upwards to rub against her walls. He pulled away and their eyes locked. "I wanna hear you say it."

"Please," she begged with a pant, reaching her hand down and curling her thin fingers around his cock to give it a few steady strokes. Her emerald eyes reflected in the mocha that stared back at her and she swallowed the desire that was in her throat. Her other hand came up to meet his face, brushing her fingertips against his cheek. “Cum inside me, I want you to make me pregnant.” 

His breath hitched in his throat hearing the words come from her mouth and he involuntarily let a groan sound in his throat. Shikamaru surged forward to kiss her again, their tongues meeting with a desperate moan. She used one arm to support her weight on the bed and wrapped the other around the back of his neck, holding him close to her. He pulled his fingers out from her core and grabbed hold of his girth from her, lining the tip up with her entrance. He slowly pushed his hips forward, the head of his cock breaching her tight hole. He gave in to his desire and slammed his hips forward, a hungry growl escaping him as he buried himself deep inside of her. He pressed his forehead against hers as he rutted into her, her walls clenching around him and making him lose his composure. He pinched his brow and closed his eyes as he plunged deep inside of her cunt. He dug his fingers into the flesh of her thigh, holding her leg up to give him room to move. He set a frantic pace, rocking the bed as he dug his heels into the mattress, losing any and all control that he had. Every punch of his hips had his cock hitting her cervix. The pain was enough to make her cry out, but the pleasure she felt far outweighed the ache.

They were both a mess; panting through their noses and moaning against each other's lips, fingers digging into flesh, hips rolling together in sync. Yuuna's skin was on fire, overstimulated from the countless orgasms she'd already had, yet her gut still burned with longing. Her moans increased in volume and she had to pull away from his face to catch her breath as he plowed into her, eyes shutting tight and white knuckle grasping at the bed sheets. He moved his hand down from its spot against her thigh to run his middle and ring fingers in fast circles around her clit, determined to push her towards one final climax before he gave in to his own lust. She began to shake her head as she pulled away from his lips, gasping for air and eyes spilling tears.

"I-I can't, I c-can't…!" She hiccuped, vision blurring as she writhed around underneath him from the assault on her nerves. He pressed his lips to hers again, groaning into her mouth as he flicked his wrist at a pace that almost matched his hips.

"Yes you can," He challenged, his voice husky, a primal look in his eyes. "And you're going to."

Every touch of his body against hers felt like fire under her skin. It was almost too much to bear. He edged her closer and closer to that final burning climax, and when it hit her, she cried out his name and began to tremble as her back arched up off of the bed. She stared up at the ceiling with wide opened eyes as fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks, tongue hanging from her mouth, chest heaving desperately as she tried to catch her breath.

He skated his hand back up to her thigh where he grabbed onto her leg and squeezed it in his arms, slamming his hips hard against hers. He could feel the knot inside him unraveling and he closed his eyes tight, allowing the pleasure to finally take him over. His thrusts grew sloppy as he came inside of her with a guttural moan, rolling his hips against hers as he shot thick spurts of his hot cum deep inside her, fucking it into her womb. 

"So good baby, you did so good," he huffed in exertion. He laid there next to her and allowed himself to ride out his high, giving his hips a few more shallow bucks until finally he came to a halt. He pressed his forehead to hers gently with his eyes closed. "You did so fucking good."

She laid next to him and whimpered as her body twitched, finally releasing the death grip she had on the bed sheets. Her legs trembled and shook as she stretched them out flat, Shikamaru pulling out of her as a result. Giving a little sniffle, she used the back of her hand to wipe the tears off her cheeks and she smiled at him.

"That was…"

"A little too intense?" He chuckled softly, kissing the tip of her nose as he caressed her burning skin. "Guess I got a little carried away. Sorry about that."

"No, it's fine!" She giggled dismissively at him. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't expecting it."

"Had to take advantage of the opportunity to fuck you silly without worrying about Shikaro, it'd be a drag if I had let it go to waste." He teased, wrapping his arms around Yuuna's waist and nuzzling his nose against her neck. She laughed out loud at his words, humming contently and wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.

"Do you think it worked?" She pondered. He scoffed and looked up at her without moving his head.

"With all that effort I put into it, it better have fucking worked." He complained, his voice muffled as he spoke against her skin. She chuckled and hummed, running her fingers through his long dark hair and gently scratching his scalp.

"Well, if it didn't, at least we got to have some much needed time together." She pointed out with a grin. He dragged his fingertips along her back, tracing the scar that resided in the middle of it. "And if it did, then we have another baby. So it's win-win."

He pulled his head away from her body just enough to stare down at her stomach. He shifted one of his hands from her back and smoothed it along her skin until it rested flat against her navel. With a grin, he looked up into her eyes and pressed his lips against hers in a sweet kiss. He pulled away after a quiet moment and a mischievous grin pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"We should get a babysitter more often."

[riacte]

Space Opera AU dashboard simulator

🥧 syrupstars Follow

Anyone else think that Red King racer is a little... y'know... fruity?

👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow

He literally says "ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between, get in line" so I think that answers your question.

🥧 syrupstars Follow

What about the "#Ally4Life 🏳️‍🌈" on his Twilight handle?

👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow

I genuinely have no idea. Maybe he thinks it's about him being an ally to cishet people

#idk ren's just like that sometimes #void knows what he's doing #also prev tags you do not want to get into the black hole of who ren has dated #he has rumours with 3/4 of the grid #edit: WHO MENTIONED BAD BOY TEENAGE REN IN MY NOTES #the shippers are here... oh no #edit 2: not ren at the club.

74 notes

🛑 bluebatshater Follow

oh my voiddd ofc That Duo got p1 again... i need them to dnf in the race. i hope they crash and burn and die and i need crastle to get podium for ONCE. i am so mad. i am calling for the goddess tsuki to curse them. dnf dnf crash burn DIE

🌻 lesbianlumian Follow

the goddess tsuki LITERALLY protects racers and that's why they pray to her? you think the goddess tsuki, creator of lumians, will curse an actual lumian? be so fucking fr

🛑 bluebatshater Follow

if you dont have anything productive to say get off my post. freak

#those blue bats stannies are SO ANNOYING THEY ARE EVERYWHERE #they're overshadowing all the other teams #cant even be a bitchy hater in peace #salt #negativity #hateposting

12 notes

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

OMG FALSE IS SO PRETTY SHES MY QUEEN OF HEARTS OMG OMGOMGOGM 💖💖💖💖💖💖 i tihnk im gonna pass out. HER HAIR FLYING IN THE WIND AND HER RED FRECKLES AND HER SMILE WHY IS MY HEART BEATING SO FAST and Ren is hot I guess he's tall like a ferris wheel

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

Looking at posts from five years ago is funny like how did I ever believe I was straight

🍦 jelliepopsicle Follow

OP, I think I recognise your url... did you write that viral Bad Boy Ren x QoH fic on Launchpad?

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

💀 Shut the fuck up right NOWWW!!

#STOP MENTIONING THAT FIC I WFOTE WHEN I WAS THIRTEEEN!!! #everything before my gay awakening is not canon. sorry #tbh... as much as a nightmare it was i kinda miss that stupid fic #it was from a simpler time #now im in university trying to contact my groupmates and i think one of them got lost in a blackhole last tuesday (again) #sigh. this keeps on happening to me #my cousin worked on one of the moons last summer for two weeks and came back like he'd aged six months #my friend's ex got sucked into a black hole and was briefly spaghettified but they managed to revive her and she gloats that she's finally taller than my friend's ex #whoops sorry for dumping in the notes #anyways. bad boy rk x good girl queen of hearts. awful idea. even more awful fic. yet i wrote it #i regret everything and nothing

25 notes

🗣️ peace-and-planets-deactivated63891092

PSA: Sunblr user @/summerheavens writes RPF of the Exterra 1 racers. She is a big name fan in the Miraculous Laserbug fandom so I thought you all would like to know. This is gross and disgusting behaviour and I implore you to stop.

🍬 summerheavens Follow

umm @/peace-and-planets i literally saw your kudos on my fic. the evidence is out there. girl what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament. what are you doing on my roseduo rpf titled "hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine (we're not trying)".

but i'm glad you liked it enough to give it a kudos ^_^ will certainly be putting more on the starchive!

❄️ justwingit Follow

LMFAOOOO OP DEACTIVATEDDDDD 😭😭😭 sunblr user got killed by a rpf author. if you're gonna secretly read rpf maybe not leave a kudos?????

🚀 exterrablrheritage

Exterra 1 Heritage Post

⚡ littlewoodbabygirl69

It's been ten years since this post... @/summerheavens are you okay after recent developments

🍬 summerheavens Follow

am i okay? is ANYONE okay??? in these trying times??????? with the most chaotic gp to ever exist?????? i am PULLING OUT WIPS i dropped out of respect ten years ago. i've got to send my kid to daycare but once i'm done you bet you're seeing me on the starchive. miss swift even dropped her 20th album just in time for me to use lyrics as titles. i am LIVING and i am THRIVING

#ohhhhhhhhhh #let's go #also can't believe taylor finally addressed the vehicle manslaughter rumours from like twenty years ago #how fitting #also littlewood needs to get his shit together #why does he look like he's the one who hasn't seen his man in 32738102371 years and got his soul shattered #he's weak and won't survive the winter

27,408 notes

🧈 butteredbread Follow

WHAT is wrong with that lykos. i desire him carnally

🌳 treebark

@/handoftheking

🪓 handoftheking

I mean... yeah. Let's face it, we're all like that 🤷

⭐ nonbinarystar Follow

MR LITTLEWOOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

#WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM #I HATE HIM SO MUCH #PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS CAN ALSO BE ABOUT HATE #THIS GLOWSTICK MF IS MY WORST ENEMY #he just canonised treebark for the sixth time #also prev tags so real #need to slingshot him into a faraway galaxy

34,091 notes

🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow

Who put that Just a Dream FalseRen AMV on my dash again

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

Respect your roots!! That 125M views Just a Dream AMV raised a generation. Every kid in my school played it on loop on their ipods during recess

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

wait op can you explain your url

🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow

No 👍

#i think we should get the dogwarts freighter pregnant

6 notes

[soapskneebrace]

same anon who sent the ask abt price: MW3's writing was embarrassing tbh. i agree 100% that narratively, its the most logical and sensible for price to be the one who takes the fall. what you wrote i flat out completely agree with, and its deeply disappointing that we are stuck with an extremely poorly written and rushed story. the game was a hot steamy pile. everyone was slightly out of character, they all growled their lines like mad dogs, and the missions were ass. i cant believe no one talks about the mission where you get anti arab hate crimed. what was that??? what was the reason??? (the only thing i liked about that game were the 9 minutes of nikolai. i just find him entertaining.) i was replaying mw2019 while super high and got to the mission where you threaten the butchers wife and son and just thought to myself; that lady and that kid are gonna have nightmares about price for the rest of their lives. that room is going to come back to them again and again and again. they literally did nothing wrong except the crime of being the butchers family. what price and gaz did is never going to leave them, and gaz was right to question price on that. of course, the game doesn't care at all. they're disposable NPCS for a shock value scene. i dunno, the fact that the game doesn't really give a fuck, and seemingly even condones what happened, just kinda hit different and i had to put the game down for the evening. i guess that hit at that moment bc i had also read a fic a bit earlier where the reader was price's civvy gf and gets kidnapped by his enemies. it bent my brain a bit bc, the thing in the fic is literally a canon event perpetuated by price, portrayed as a good thing by the source material, that now price is the victim of. it was a very weird feeling for my weed addled brain to try and process. think i blue screened actually. i wanna put price in a jar and shake him vigorously. pin him to a board like a entomology insect. i want to bite him. i do love him i swear. but maybe make him actually face a single real consequence for his war crimes? (disappointing that it will never happen on screen bc these games are all gas no breaks outright propaganda. not to mention real war crimes are happening constantly in front of everyone's eyes and going completely unpunished) sorry this is really long, i have no one to talk to abt these games and i dont understand my feelings toward that British man

Yeah. The thing about Price is that he's not a good person in the slightest. We write fiction about the kind of man he can be--the best version of himself, a version we can all stomach--but the real Price is distinct from that, and the best people in this fandom recognize that.

Soap and Ghost have some plausible deniability simply because we haven't seen them doing anything other than action movie stuff. Gaz is on the road to becoming Price--Price is doing his damndest to turn Gaz into himself--but he isn't there yet. (@391780 did a GREAT analysis of the driving scene in mw19 and how Price subtly manipulates Gaz, but I can't find it.)

EDIT: Early kindly provided.

We, as the audience, are not actually supposed to worry that much about the Butcher's family, because Price is one of the Good Guys who would never let something Bad actually happen. Infinity Ward does not take the Butcher's family seriously, and does not want us to take the family seriously, because they are just a convenient vehicle with which to move the plot along. Their presence is, in the end, shock value. We are meant to stare, wide-eyed, wondering is Price really going to go that far? while in the back of our minds knowing of course he's not, because he's our hero. He's just doing whatever it takes. The family is not meant to be anything other than fodder for Price's characterization.

Same with Samara. We are not supposed to care all that much about her, personally--we're supposed to marvel over Makarov's canny brutality, his bRiLLiANcE in recognizing the obvious fact that an Arab woman would make a perfect scapegoat for a plane bombing. Samara does not matter to MW3. Only the shocking way she dies. None of these Arab characters matter to Call of Duty--only the entertainment value of their pain.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I am reminded of when Price threw a man restrained into a bomb jacket off a balcony, with not a shred of remorse afterword. I'm forced to ask the question--who would Price scapegoat, then, if he felt justified enough?

And yeah, he's never going to suffer the consequences of his actions, because Infinity Ward doesn't think he's actually done anything wrong. We throw the word propaganda around a lot without actually defining it, but Price is emblematic of how the propaganda of Call of Duty works. Price does something reprehensible, and is shown to be justified in doing it--implying that real men like him are justified, too, because don't you understand how little choice Price had? Don't you get that there's no good choice to be made? This is how he has to act, and this is how all soldiers have to act, because war is a dirty business, and someone needs to be willing to do it for the benefit of the ignorant public.

The question of why any of this should be happening at all is never asked.

[ace-of-gay]

Theyre all so perfect

Steve rogers x little reader

1,263 words

Warnings: age regression, paci, crayons, self doubt but fluff comfort aswell.

Little names like lovebug, little one, baby etc. The title daddy for steve as the caregiver.

Dont like it dont read it.

No pronouns weight or skin color mentioned reader is able bodied enough to walk even just a little bit (i will work on making fics for readers who need mobility aids and such aswell, i understand yall cause i need em aswell)

Edited to the best of my ability

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

It had been a stressful week, you had fought your brain to stay up as late as possible waiting for Stevie to come home last night.

After making dinner cleaning yourself up and waiting so very patiently, when he finally came in the front door kicking his shoes off and tossing his keys onto the table he found you half awake on the couch.

You greeted him with a big drowsy smile, "hello my love" he calls crossing the room when your stomach grumbled, "well i guess that answers the question i was going to ask, lets go eat dinner and cuddle up for bed"

And so you did, saving the dishes for tomorrow you had fallen asleep quickly.

The night had gone quickly filled with cozy warm dreams wrapped up in Steve’s arms held close to his chest, eventually you were woken up by the small cast of sunlight making itself known through the stormy clouds and closed curtains, wrapping yourself up in one of the throw blankets you wander through the hall to find Stevie, your little headspace taking its place.

Walking into the kitchen to find him making breakfast, "good morning cuddle bug, were having French toast this morning" he mentions as you hug him, he turns to you picking you up and placing you sitting on the cold marble counter making you squeal as he goes back to cooking, "daddyyy its coold" you giggle out realy letting yourself slip into your headspace, "I’m sorry love bug i didn't realize" he chuckles as he puts the breakfast treat on two plates adding your favorite type of syrup on top and fruit on the side.

He decided that today could be a calm day, going easy on the routine he lets you sit at the coffee table and eat your French toast and fresh fruit while watching cartoons.

Once done he takes both of your plates and goes to finally do the dishes. You run off to go get changed for the day, picking out a soft pair of dungarees and a matching sweater, picking out a paci for the day, grabbing your stuffy, and your crayons you go off to the kitchen, dropping your crayons off at the table.

Unable to find your drawing book you go off to the kitchen "daddy can i have paper?"

You request as he’s finishing up.

"Of course love bug" he returns going and getting some blank printer paper from the office and bringing it to you at the table.

"Fank you daddy" you chirp behind your paci

Getting to work on your ideas.

It was great being in a house with another artist, there was always projects going on and you could always ask for their perspective and get feedback on where something needs extra attention, all the walls practically covered in canvas paintings and graphite pieces that took weeks if not months, but never your little drawings, those always got put in a binder and put in the office, a few on the fridge and some in your little room but nothing more than that.

The drawing you were trying so very hard to get right just wasn’t coming out and you’ve used both sides of each page you had trying to get it right but to no avail.

You were determined to make such a special piece for your daddy, one that would go on the wall.

A couple tears slip your eyes and hit the table buy you quickly wipe your eyes before anymore come falling, you get up going over to where your daddy sits on the couch reading to ask for more paper which he agrees to.

Once again seated at the table drawing in an absolute trance, you’ve gone through three more pages front and back, it just wouldn't come out right, crumpling it and moving on to a new piece, it had to be perfect.

You had no idea your face was scrunched in anger so when Stevie came over to see you and ask what was wrong you huffed, not in anger but frustration, covering your paper.

" 's not done yet, im tryin daddy" you mutter out glancing at him.

He’s never seen you so upset over a drawing but you wouldn't let him see until its done, "alrighty love, i wont look yet but i promise all your drawings are amazing so i know you’re doin a very good job"

Giving you a kiss on the forehead he goes off to read or draw in the next room to give you space.

This was the best one yet, it finally looked good enough, you even put in an attempt at shading and highlights but crayons aren’t the best at layering but you finally finished it, signing it and putting away your crayons, you go to show Stevie your drawing.

You walk into the room a little hesitant but very hopeful, he sees you and pipes up, "hey bug did you finish your drawing?" Nodding you give it to him and all he does is stare at it, face unchanging, your eyes begin to well "n-never min' i don like it anymore, i-im sorry" you go to take it back when he pulls it back, "baby this is the best drawing ive ever seen"

He takes your hand pulling you to his side.

"But you not gonna put it on- on the wall like the other drawins, yous always put em in a binder an hide em" you sniffle.

He frowns, setting the drawing down and pulling you into his lap, "lovebug im not hiding them, i love those ones so much im keeping them safe, in a place where i can look at them while working and remind myself that you made them for me while little, those ones like all your big headspace drawing are so very special"

Giving you a hug to help embed his words deeper into your mind, he helps you up, grabbing the drawing he leads you to the office where he keeps the binder.

He opens the binder flipping through all of your drawings he had put in clear paper-liners with sticky notes onto the clear plastic of each one describing the days they were all made.

He flips to an empty liner and puts the new one away, grabbing his wallet off the desk and handing it to you, "open it up and look in the cash pocket" you look at him confused but do what he said, pulling out a piece of paper folded into sixths, it had been folded and unfolded so many times that the paper was wearing thin on the creases, opening it up its one of your drawings.

Still confused you look at him tilting your head to the side.

"Its the first drawing you gave to me with you regressed, i keep it in my wallet because it makes me so proud of you, so happy, it makes me feel so special and trusted"

You lurch forward hugging him, he reciprocates your hug and emphasizes it with scattered kisses on your cheeks nose and forehead.

"Ill let you in on a secret of mine, all the drawings on our walls are photo copies, it would hurt me too much to frame the original and something happen to it, i have a separate binder for all your big you drawings in a safe at work" now that is special, its magical its so very comforting, he thinks you, both big and little are an amazing artist beyond what you thought of yourself, because you are.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Its the last day of October, i find the day of Halloween itself traumatizing from something that happend several several years ago do it affects my bpd quite strangely, hence no proper Halloween fic today although i thought this was cute to finally post as its been sitting in my drafts for about two weeks.

[hydrangeyes]

Macaque x Dragon seme Male reader 🍋🍋🍋

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

==============

porn porn porn some plot porn

requested by Kai_Mitsuo

WARNING: THIS IS VERY EXPLICIT, I REPEAT HOTNY O CLOCK, DONT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFY (also pls skip if you are a minor, seriously)

Think I uh had too much fun with this one lolol

Anyway: Macaque goes to see an old..... friend of his. Placed not long after his first appearance on show I guess

2nd Warning: Macaque in heat, Rough smut, hinted scent kink, gagging, blowjobs, anal sex, slight fingering, begging

Notes:

current: A/b/o but not a/b/o lmao

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it weird for him to come here? Maybe. But here he was anyway.

A gentle breeze moves past him, carrying the sounds of your workers and devotees alike with it. He anxiously stares up at the palace you called home. The deep greens and warm blue decor were a sort of comfort to him outside of red now.

Macaque has been standing on those stone steps longer than he wished but, he couldn't help but feel a little nervous.

Would you be happy to see him? Especially if he shows up like this?

---------

Of course, you were. Having heard through a spy of yours about his return, you almost rushed to him immediately.

But you knew he needed to come to you, so you waited.

And sensing him enter your side of the celestial realm caused you to start pacing the palace to relieve the exciting tension.

The rush of relief at catching a single sniff of familiar blackberries and peaches. You felt no shame, in saying all your senses focused only on him.

From an outside view, the servants watched as their Lord paced around dragon-like tail wagging like a pup.

Not able to stand it any longer you rush out, shoving the door open. Welcoming him with a tackled hug. A pleased rumble leaving you when, after the shock, macaque practically clings onto you in return.

You tilt your head to nuzzle into his scarf, a little annoyed it was in your way of his neck. You can't help but tease him.

"You idiot, how dare you finally visit me then smell like garbage." You grumble, pushing your head away. A habit you both would make when things began to feel too sappy.

Macaque lets out a sharp laugh, tail curling around your own, as he looks up at you bemused. "And you still stuck at saying hello."

"You don't smell like mine anymore." You huff not even letting him go as you both got up off the ground. Not that macaque was trying to untangle himself from you anyway.

Said trickster chuckles softly, relaxing into you as you carried him inside.

"Well, it has been ages. Lend me your bath?"

"Mm, a meal and then a bath." You answer back signaling a few servants to get that started.

"I've missed you my sweet phoenix."

"Hah, been a while since I last heard that......

.....I've missed you too..."

-------------- SMUT BEGINS ——————-

Macaque let out a pleased his as he sinks into your personal hot springs, slipping the towel around his waist off. Dipping under to get his head wet, purring once he surfaces.

You smile and hold back a purr of your own as you watch him happily swim around and eventually come back to the edge to lay his head on it.

It wasn't the first time you both have seen each other naked, but every time you couldn't help but feel something stirs in your gut.

Nothing new but the urge to jump him was stronger than you thought. Then, with nothing but his natural scent you caught a more heavier sweeter scent.

Adjusting your own towel around your waist, you move to sit next to him on the edge, Preferring to just dip your legs in for now. Keep a cool head

"Better?" You coo, gently moving to run your hand through his fur.

"Mhm~" He closes his eyes and hums leaning into the touch, even going so far as to place his head on your lap instead. It's been so long since he's felt this relaxed, feeling safe enough to.

Macaque unconsciously nuzzles your thigh, letting out deep purrs and soft moans as you work to detangle his fur and massage any tense muscles. Even letting out a hurt whimper when you begin to stop.

You try your best not to react to it. But seeing his flushed cheeks, how sweet and eager he was to stay under your touch. You shift feeling your cock twitch in interest.

'Get it together n/n, you just got him back, you can wait to jump him right?'

while you inwardly try to fight back your increasingly horny thoughts, macaque cracks an eye open in confusion. you stopped your petting and were squirming around and he wanted to know why.

imagine his surprise, when he gets an eye full of your half hard cock. he didn't realize he was this far on your lap and put two and two together.

Suddenly it wasn't just the hot springs making him flush. with hooded eyes, macaque slips in between your legs, snapping your attention back to him.

"Aah sweetheart, that's um.. I can smell that you're.."

"hm in heat? did you think I didn't notice?" he purrs bodly leaning forward to rub his cheek against your covers crotch. Something in you snapped.

Here your plum was acting so boldly. You run your hands through his fur, and pull his head back. Watching his eyes dilate and a hitch moan leave his mouth. "I was trying to be patient. Be a good mate for you" You rumble, tugging him up to play a kiss on his cheek then ear, then neck.

"Allow you to gather your strength for later tonight." gently opening your mouth to glide a fang over his neck. Mcaque shudders, reaching out to grip your thighs to keep himself up. Looking you in the eye, he gives you a little smirk. "I rather you fuck me senseless now."

With that macaque doesn't even hesitate ducking back down and tug off your towel. Letting his mind finally sink and let his heat take over.

He happily moves to lick and teasingly kiss your hard cock. His eyes never once leaving yours, snapping what was left of your restraint.

Gripping his fur and signaling to him you thrust into his mouth. Both of you letting out a pleasure groan as you his the back of his mouth and down his throat.

"Is this what you wanted?" You growl not letting up in fucking his throat, taking pleasure in each gag macaque makes now and then.

Macaque himself letting out the sluttiest of moans and greedily moving his tongue to get a taste of you, sucking hard and deep as if to never have you leave his mouth.

Your toes curl under the water in pleasure. "F-fuck miss this slutty mouth of yours." You coo, yanking his head back to let him breathe. Looking over the mess you made his face, spit and pre cum sticking his lips as he open mouth pants.

His eyes looked watery and if you looked further you can see a hand pumping his own cock quickly.

"A-ah Mm n-n/n please~" Macaque whines trying to nudge his head forward to lick and suckle on your tip. Your cock twitches and you buck to rub it against his face. "Please what pet?~" you growl loosening your hold more for him.

"Fuck me~ please? Need you to fuck me, fill me up with your cum~" Macaque chirps, giving one more kiss to you dick before climbing up onto your lap. Desperately kissing your jaw and neck, arching when you run a clawed hand down his back to tap then rub at his eager hole.

Earlier when macaque was washing up he made sure to be thorough. Hoping for this out come even. His heat having started the moment he entered your home.

That and knowing that you wouldn't be able to resist him for long if he so wanted didn't help.

Macaque flinched and let's out a gasped moan when suddenly your hand smacks down on his ass. Feeling how relaxed his hole was thrust two fingers in easily, finding it already slicked up and a little loose.

"Ah the perfect slut in heat I swear, you planned this didn't you? Touching yourself before getting in here I bet~ not even warning me that you were starting~"

Nodding quickly macaque grips onto your back to buck his hips back to try and rude your fingers, tail curling around your wrist and arm. "Y-yes! Didn't ah! Mh want to wait!" He groaned nuzzling your neck and taking in a deep sniff.

Your heady scent coupled with the hot steam of the spring almost made him dizzy. The feel of your fingers pumping and curling inside him almost to much.

"Fuck! C-come on, I-" he gasps, mouth wide open drooling. He tilts his head to the side when you nudge it, almost coming when you sink your teeth into his shoulders. You growl and adding a third finger, thrust them in deeper to hit his prostate.

With a few more well place bites, you finally pull your fingers out. Cooing and rubbing macaques' back as he shudders and whimpers at the empty feeling.

"Mm good boy, not coming after that~ good to know you're still well trained." You whisper into his ears, carefully unwinding his tail from your arm. Taking the base of your cock you guide it to slowly enter macaque.

Macaque sucks in a breathe, arching and gripping your shoulders with a hiss. How could he forget how thick you are. The hot flesh stretching just shy pass his limit, causing his legs to tremble and his own cock to spit out even more pre cum.

Of course then there's you. Curling over him and spreading his cheeks to get an eye full of his ass greedily taking you in. Fuck he was just as tight as you remembered. Macaque yelps feeling you cock pulse and get even harder. "S-stop watching it!" He half heartedly protest, letting out a throaty moan when he finally feels all of you in him.

"Mm your still able to speak?"

You grip his hips, slowly lifting him so that just your tip remained in him. Then slamming him back down to the base.

"That won't do~"

Macaque cries out in pleasure, scrambling to dig his claws in you deeper as you set a fast and hard pace.

Not giving him a second to breathe,you keep it up, even moving to light a leg over your shoulder thrusting deeper.

"Nghgh!!! N-n/n wa-AH-IT!" Macaque hiccups, hands shaking to grip tighter on your shoulders. His eyes rolling back as he gets lost in the pleasure.

You, yourself grunt and growl at the tight heat surrounding your cock. Biting your lip as a way to stay focus enough to not pop a knot. Not yet, later, later.

The scent of Macaque's slick and heat didn't help at all. In fact, only driving you to drill the slick hole harder. Macaque almost swore he saw stars with each hit to his prostate, tightening around you as if not want you to leave but also suck you further in.

"Ah~ so good sweetheart~ fill mmh! So good around me!" You pant out following instincts to nip and bite his nipples and exposed skin. Wanting others to see your claim not just smell it.

"C-close! Pleaseee" Is all macaque could get out, mind mush with nothing but pleasure and your name in it.

You chuckle darkly looking down to watch the way his ockc twitched and spurt out streams of precum. Ah you both were a mess down there.

Adjusting to free a hand you reach down to grasp the vase of his cock and pump it at the same speed of your thrust.

"Cum~"

And like that macaque does. Letting out a silent scream as his body flinched and trembled, cuming hard enough to get it on his neck and your face.

Shuddering in delight at the sight you thrust as deep as you could without knotting him and groan happily toghtening your hold on him. Cuming and just barely slowing your thrusts to milk the orgasm.

After a bit you finally slow down, listening to macaque babble and purr about you stuffing him full.

----‐-----------

*runs away* stopping this here! Sorry if it's shitty was writing this in between work and classes! Idk how to end this!

Edited: Uhm that and edited down as I got....very descriptive *clears throat* ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

[macabremuscle]

I need you to write that nasty fic idea for Corey because it was *A+* and also drop that audio >.>

Ok I should have known someone was gonna want me to do this. Thank you anon for being an excuse to write this because let's be honest, I'm the one who wanted this originally. I just wanted you all to enable me into committing 😂

For those asking, the audio I'm basing this off of has its own little plot so I'm not using it as a guide, just inspiration I guess, but link to the audio is here. Uhhh yeah mind the tags ok? 😅 this was written in one go with no editing so excuse any typos.

Pairing: Corey Cunningham x Fdom!Reader (its implied with mommy kink but I dont think reader's gender is specified anywhere. tagging as f reader just to be same tho)

Warnings: smut, Fdom x msub, pegging, lots of mommy usage, talk of mpreg but it's not what you think, naughty words I guess

Word Count: 1202

No minors for the love of all that is holy!!!

Sometimes you almost pitied him. The way he'd cling to you like a lost puppy. So desperate for your attention and kindness. You didn't want to take advantage of his hard life, you knew he had struggled socially even before the accident but now... He had such a hard time both in public and at home.

You wanted to dote on him every chance you got. He deserved it. But he made it difficult by wanting to always dote on you. Corey thought his life was over after that night. Everywhere he went, eyes glared. Mouths hissed in whispered hatred. Everyone in this town hated him and he knew it. But not you. Somehow, you saw past everything. You knew about him and you didn't care. Corey felt he didn't deserve you, you were too angelic. And he wanted to make you know how much he appreciated you every second of the day.

But you wanted to turn it back on him now.

You felt his face turning beet red against your skin. Corey was sat on your lap, legs straddling yours as you worked your lips along his jawline. Your hands grabbed fistfuls of his ass and you grinned at the breathless whimper he let slip out.

"P-please.." he breathed out, and he wasn't sure what exactly he was even asking for.

"Use your words baby. What do you want?"

His face flushed again, the words in his head almost too naughty to voice. You decided to force them out of him by rolling your hips up into his, feeling his erection grind against your belly and he shuddered at the sensation. The strap on lashed to you, however, was gently prodding his ass with every movement of your body.

"Touch me more..." Was all Corey could say, his head dropping to your shoulder as he felt his cock twitch in his pants. The wet stain on the front of his jeans becoming more and more uncomfortable.

"Does my good boy want me to make him feel good?" You cooed. He only nodded in reply. You weaved your hand into the curls of his hair, slowly angling his head back to look at his face.

You had only been making out and grinding against one another for a little but he was already flushed and disheveled like you'd run him through the ringer. His eyes glazed over in lust, lips opened for small pants of air. He was a sight and he had no idea how much it stirred feelings within you.

You leaned forward and pressed a deep kiss to his lips. Corey immediately moaned and opened his mouth, his tongue flicking out against your mouth, wanting your own to come and invade. You followed his wishes and let your tongue dance across his, the feeling sending another shiver through Corey and more moans and whimpers began to fly. He whined when you tugged his hair to break the kiss.

"On the bed baby." You gave his ass another light squeeze before letting him free to get off you. He almost seemed loathe to peel his body from yours but he knew even more was coming and quickly did as you said.

Under your intense gaze Corey shed his clothes as fast as his shaking hands would let him before all but flinging himself down on the bed, the wood squeaking in protest.

You walked up and stood between his spread legs, trailing your fingers in delicate touches up his thighs causing his legs to quiver in excitement.

"Please!" Corey begged again, more desperate this time than he'd plead before.

"Tell me baby, what do you want?" You asked him again.

Corey's eyes locked onto you and the intensity of it nearly knocked your breath from your lungs. His brown eyes always held a smouldering ember deep in them, like the flame of his passion had been quenched but not extinguished by the cruelty of Haddonfield. But in moments like these, the fire blazed bright. Roaring with lust, love, devotion, desire, something you could never fully label.

"Breed me." He said so confidently. All sense of nervousness and shyness gone in his want for you to claim him as yours.

You couldn't resist lunging forward to capture his lips in another kiss. Corey's hands wrapped around you, tugging your form to his as his hips bucked up of their own volition. He moaned loudly at the feeling of your strap brushing up against his throbbing cock.

Wordlessly you hurried to yank the bottle of lube off the table, smearing huge globs of it on your awaiting dildo. Corey nearly cried when your hands spread some over his hole, a finger slipping inside with ease making him jolt.

"I'm ready. Don't tease." He ground out behind clenched teeth.

With a smile you nodded and positioned yourself. Easing in slowly you whimpered yourself at the heavenly gasps escaping Corey. Every inch deeper you sunk into him, another loud cry sang out.

With a sigh, you felt yourself bottom out, Corey's quivering body beneath you. You gave him a moment to acclimate before giving an experimental thrust. You were gifted with a whine. How could you not do it again? Soon your hips were snapping against his in a steady rhythm. The walls of your bedroom echoing with the sounds of Corey's pleasure.

"Mmm... Mommy..." You heard a soft mumble and after it sank in what he'd said you paused. Corey's blissed out face scrunched in confusion as to why you'd stopped. Then realization dawned on him and his face flushed redder than you think you'd ever seen it before.

"I-I'm sorry... I don't know why I- oh FUCK!" Corey all but wailed when you tossed both his legs over your shoulders, leaned over on top of him, and began pounding away at the perfect angle.

"That's it. My good boy. Mommy's perfect boy." You panted out between thrusts. Your voice breathless in your own lust. Corey shook his head, your straps tip brushing that spot deep inside him sinfully made him see stars.

"God yes... Mommy please fuck me! Breed me!" You don't think you'd ever heard Corey so desperate before. His hands were fisting the sheets on either side of his head, thrown back in pleasure. You could tell from how much louder he was whining, he was about to reach his peak.

"You gonna cum for me sweet boy?" You purred, taking a hand and running it across a nipple on its way up to cup his cheek and force him to look in your eyes. His own eyes opened and you could see the sparkling of tears lighting his eyelashes.

"Mommy... Fuck a baby into me! Ahh!" Corey's own words sent him into his bliss. His back arched off the bed, as much as your mating press would allow him to, cum spurting across his belly as a shuddering wail reverberated the walls.

You weren't sure how much time had passed before he finally came down from his orgasm. His eyes were unfocused as the gazed up at you with utmost love and worship. You bent down to kiss the remnants of his tears away.

"I love you baby."

[dreamgothgirl]

Tensions: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley X Fem! POC Reader Part 1

AN: Holy shit I really didn’t expect my first Ghost fic to blow up 🥹 thank y’all so much!! 🙏 Reader isn’t a specific race, but I wanted to make this fic POC friendly since I dont see them very much and don’t want anyone to feel left out! this is part one to a two part fic, this is more for story building and sexual tension that translates to both Ghost and the reader to be a mix of aggressive and awkwardly nice to each other lmao. I hope you like it! The next to be published will be a smut fic so do not worry!! Adios, cochinos y cochinas -w- 💕

Warnings: harsh language, sexual tension, and Soap being that friend that teases you for having a crush

Not edited

———————————————————————

Simon watched the sun brighten up your irises, allowing him to fully take in its color. The golden hour sunlight that illuminated your face was enough to take knock the wind out of his chest for a moment. The briefest moment. Like taking a glance at a genuine Van Gogh; he wanted to stare longer, but he wasn’t going to let any of the team have any fuel to fire him up with later on.

You, on the other hand, were staring at the vast, dry land surrounding you as the sun began to set. You raised your brow a bit as you heard Soap chuckle, “A journalist, aye?”

You gave a small smile, turning your attention to the Scott sitting across from you right next to his large, stoic partner, “Yes. But with my mother being a veteran and my father being overprotective, I’ve got decent enough skills to defend myself. With and without fists.”

Soap smirked, “Your folks were right to prepare you with such skills, lass. If I ever had a daughter as beautiful as yourself, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same.”

Ghost took note of the small muscle twitch in your face. Flattery. He wasn’t the best with compliments, especially towards a woman, so he chose another route. “I’m guessing that’s why Price trusts you with that then,” he asked while nodding at the large AR strapped to your back.

Your eyes widened a bit at his question. Not because it was a dumb question, far from it, but because you hadn’t heard his voice so clear the entire mission. Today was spent with Price and Alejandro as they watched your back while you gathered info from Hassan’s men at a brief luncheon put together purely for public appearances. The only time you ever heard Ghost’s gravely voice was through your ear piece which, for you, was only able to communicate with your team and not Ghost himself.

You pushed the little flutter in your stomach to the back of your mind as you smiled more and nodded, “Yes, sir.”

‘He talked to me?!’

Soap chuckled, “You seem a bit too sweet for an environment like this one, aye lass? You’re writing an article on us or something?”

Before you could even open your mouth, Price quickly cut in from the drivers seat, “Ah ah, don’t answer that, Y/N. Sorry, boys, that’s confidential information. All I can tell you is that their material has no connections to Graves, and Y/N was approved by Laswell herself. All you need to know is to protect and treat her like you would any other soldier….maybe be a bit more emphasis on protective though.”

Almost everyone on the truck let out groans and scoffs of protest and annoyance at not being allowed to know anything, earning a chuckle from you, “I’ll answer your first question if you want. You might be right about being too sweet, but I promise I know there’s a time and a place. I’ll take down whoever I need to just like the rest of you. If it means doing what’s right then I will gladly do so by any means. That’s why I’m a journalist with the military.”

Under the mask, Ghost gave a small smirk; amused at the class used to shut down Soap’s comment. Sure, he liked looking at pretty people, but when they were smart like you? It made him feel something a little more than a simple physical appeal. Now, he definitely wanted to know more. Even if it was just your favorite color.

Alejandro laughed next to you and nudged your arm, “She’s got bigger balls than you, hermano! You should’ve seen how she took down a guard that was following her. Pendejo got exactly what he deserved after messing with La Demonia.”

Ghost let out a huff through his nose, “Demon? I’ll believe it when I see it.”

You playfully stuck your tongue out at him and smirked, “And I’ll believe you deserve the title Lieutenant when I see you in action.”

A mix of laughter and oohs filled the truck as it approached closer to the safe house. Ghost glared a bit, “Real mature. We’ll see who’s top cock soon enough, book worm.”

Soap snickered, “Cock..”

You rolled your eyes while Ghost gave another quick glare, “That’ll do, Sargent.”

“Yes, sir.”

8:20 PM

Gentle hums came to a close as you yawned and stretched out as much as you could at your desk. You bit the tip of your thumb as you read over the information that’d just been freshly edited before crossing your arms and nodding, “Nice. They can just add whatever else they need if they want.” Satisfied, you walked over to the shower, allowing your muscles to relax under the luke warm water while you thought of that brooding shadow in the corner of that truck from today.

Your brow furrowed, ‘Tch. Bookworm? And he’s mocking my maturity? Fuck off.’

The suds of your shampoo ran over your eyelids as you gave a close eyed glare to the ceiling. You’d just met him but you already had such mixed feelings. Did you really hurt his ego over something he started? Is he that fragile? Or was what you said truly hurtful? You washed your face like you wish you could wash that whole experience out of your memory.

‘Great….ugh I totally fucked up my chances to be on his good side or anything else with him.’

A hot stinging sensation ran through your body as you tried to scrub away the embarrassment and ‘shame’.

‘No, whatever. I don’t need him. It’s better we have that distance. That way when he finally kicks the bucket I can get more shit done. At least I get to go home alive.’

You stopped and winced at your feet in disgust. Your stomach twisted at the feel of your heart dropping a bit, “That was low, Y/N….god, what the fuck is wrong with me.”

The intensity of adrenaline fueled frustration and ego deflation on your part made you lower than you assumed him to have been. Your unnecessary harshness had gotten the better of you and you were glad that you didn’t utter a word of your empty insult. However, it simply irked you even more than you had no clue why you were so frustrated.

Being a journalist meant you had to have thick skin. Being apart of the military made that an even harsher fact; maybe even more so when it came to emotions. You’d never had this problem before. After all the racial slurs and issues, religious righteousness protests and massacres, misogynistic, and god only knows anything else under the sun that you’ve heard and written about….this bothered you to this extent? There was no way.

Running one last rinse over your face, you deeply inhaled and sighed, ‘Don’t jump so fast to conclusions…it was just some friendly competition. You’re overthinking it….I hope. I hope he’ll still let me interview him….HEY!”

Simultaneously

8:20 PM

Ghost stood tall and alert on the second floor’s living room balcony. His rifle rested on his shoulder, at his side while he replayed the interaction between the two of you with his arms crossed. Being the Lieutenant, of course he already knew what you were here for. You were here to document the betrayal of Graves and the partnership between Graves and Sin Nombre and formally report the progress of the teams missions after separating from Graves.

Price was going to tell the team your purpose until Laswell preferred to render the team innocent of their knowledge of you. “Who knows what they’ve already said about us to the other ranks,” she said. Ghost agreed with her idea by saying he’d rather be the one to go down if he was ever interrogated before anyone else, as did Price. That’s how they were going to keep it until Laswell said otherwise. So here he was, right above your room keeping an eye on the area in the shadows while Soap guarded the other side of the building.

“Lt. how copy.”

Ghost shifted his weight as he responded, “Copy. What is it Johnny? See something?”

“We’re all clear on the East and South side. I doubt we’ll see anyone for a while.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

“Right…Look, I’m not asking to know more, but-“

“You heard Price. Anything about that woman’s line of work is confidential, Johnny.”

Soap chuckled a little, “I know, but I was going to ask if you know what she’s here for.”

“I don’t know why. An article maybe.”

“Looked like you had cute enough banter.”

Ghost glared ahead, “Easy, Sargent.

“Not interested in her like that, I see? She’s cute enough, yeah?”

The Lieutenant stayed silent as he remembered the way your lips rubbed your lip balm on themselves before slightly parting and shining in that golden orange light. If you had an actual rank, a relationship might get the two of you in trouble. But in this circumstance, although not out of the question, he wasn’t going to let himself get so close to someone he’d barely known. He’d never admit it, but it he did have an interest in you. Even if it came off weird or aggressive.

“…Keep an eye on the perimeter, Mactavish. One more hour till the switch.”

Soap chuckled, “Yes, sir.”

As Ghost released his response button, he heard your voice below the balcony floor, “Hey, Lieutenant Ghost! Can I meet you up there? I have a quick question!”

‘Bloody fuckin hell, what does she want. Hm. Take it easy, maybe.’

Before he could even give you a response, he hear your feet quickly running out and up the stairs. As you approached him from the bedroom door behind him, he didn’t bother to spare you a second glance, “Keep your voice down. Is Captain Price not around to answer your question?”

You noted the hint of annoyance in his voice and tried your best not to bark back and shook your head with a smile, “I was wondering if I could get a few words from you? I want to get some scrap material in case I ever get permission to go public with this. Obviously it’s not up to me, but you know what I mean.”

Ghost stared ahead with dull, deadened eyes,“No. I don’t.”

An irritated, slow sigh left your nose. His large body in the balcony doorway, made the moonlight split. He looked like a phantom king with a cape made of souls he’d taken in his life; casting your body in shadow. It swallowed you whole just like the intimidatingly prideful aura he oozed when you first met him. It made you feel small and stupid. Almost like he was making fun of you. Is that what he wanted?

You bit the inside of your lip and tried, “Can I ask you some questions?”

Ghost noticed how tense he was and just how shallow he was breathing once you spoke again. He turned around, his voice harsh and hard as stone, “No.”

Though it wasn’t an unusual response, you still felt like you’d been punched in the gut. Attempting to remain as composed as possible, you nodded and made your way to the door, “I understand. I apologize for distracting you. See you in the morning.”

Before you were completely out, he turned and quickly spoke, “Oi.”

The embarrassment burned your face at the speed of which you turned back around, “Yeah?”

The world was swallowing you whole once again as Ghost walked over to you and checked his watch before nodding, “We’ll talk in 55. Think you’ll still be up by then?”

‘I hate you, Simon Riley.’

You were trying so fucking hard not to grin and giggle like a lovesick teen at his approval, “Definitely. I’ll try to interview whoever’s available while I wait for you.”

Ghost nodded, “Alright then;” in an attempt to ease the tension equal to waiting for a bomb to set off…he harshly patted your back the way you would a dog. Unfortunately, it was too hard as you involuntarily grunted and stumbled forward a bit.

Unsure of what else to do, the man stared at you before slowly going back to the balcony, “…See you later, Ghost.”

“Yep.”

‘I hate you Y/N L/N.’

While the two of you separately calmed down from the suffocating claustrophobia of being around each other, you glared at your feet from the warmth between your legs, ‘Fucker. You’re gonna drive me crazy.’

Ghost looked around, quickly trying to divert his attention away from the unfamiliar feelings in his chest and the tightness in his pants back to being on guard. ‘Damn, bookworm. Having you on this team was a bloody fucking mistake.’

The Lieutenant stared in the distance as he radioed, “Johnny, how copy.”

A coyote howled in the distance.

“Ghost, how copy. Movement detected?”

“No. All clear. But I made a mistake.”

“Er…come again? You made a mistake?”

“Yeah. I talked to Y/N.”

Soap let out a heavy sigh and Ghost could mentally see the way his comrade was rubbing the space between his brows, “Christ…and? Does she hate you now?”

Ghost leaned against the wall with his free arm resting on his gun, “Can’t say…but I liked talking to her.”

Soap’s eyes widened and he began to beam for his stoic friend, “Alright, Lt! I guess you do have a way with words.”

The large masked man dryly scoffed, “Not in the slightest. That’s my only skill I’m lacking in. But that’s the problem. She’s too charming. We should keep a close eye on her.”

Soap chuckled, “Sounds like your overreacting, Lt. The lass is soft as a wee feather.”

“Hm. More incentive to watch our backs, wouldn’t you think? Look at who just betrayed us, after all.”

A bit defeated, Soap hummed, “Good point. I won’t worry too much quite yet, but I got your back, Lt.”

Ghost’s ears perked up when he heard your voice through the radio, “Good evening, Sargent Mactavish! Do you have a moment?”

“Have a fun interview.”

Soap chuckled, “It’ll be better than yours, that’s for sure. Soap out.”

Your voice rang in Ghost’s ears. The absence of warmth in his arms and loss of your scent aggravated him out of confusion and frustration. You were a distraction. One he didn’t mind having around. But you made him feel things he’s never felt before. Being a man of tactic and strategy, he was used to knowing his opponents moves before they even executed them. And then you spoke to him. He knew you meant no harm, he knew it. But what the hell were these feelings? Anxiety? Fear? Annoyance? Was it hatred or something else? If it was then why was his body having these reactions?

He didn’t know. And if there’s one thing Ghost hates more than anything, it’s not knowing how to approach a target.

That never lasted long though.

‘You’ll be the last mistake I ever make.’

Deep in his mind, something lurked. Made his heart ache and race all at once.

‘If you even are one…’

[nigesakis]

for a long time i avoided the saw fandom but in the past few days i took a look again

i was one of the people who was there when we built the fandom. it existed before but in 2015-2019 we kinda came together as one and created a community. we were like about 50 *active* people on tumblr. we worked full time keeping the fandom alive and making content.

i remember when i wrote chainshipping fanfics we had about 30 existing works on ao3 and i remember when we came up with hoffstrahm (stroffman back then) and we were like "we hit 10 fanfics on ao3!" and if you saw viral tweets about saw during 2016-2019, that was me probably (and the tweet of leigh saying there was more to adam and lawrence relationship was also my edit... he did not say that, im sorry).

we had a theory that adams corpse wasnt really him but that they switched it with tapp's and everyone kinda took it as canon even though we knew it made no sense

but i think the most important part of everything was that the fandom came to life through trans people (mostly trans men and transmascs) and lesbians. there was barely any cishet person in the fandom and it was common knowledge that adam was a trans man (or trans in general) (also i dont know how its now, but him and diana as a father/daughter dynamic was a huge part of chainshipping) and amanda a lesbian. it was a fandom but it was also an lgbt community that felt like a little safe town for us

so after 2019, when saw became more popular i kinda retreated because it felt like an army marching into it and i guess i kinda overreacted, but it was something so dear to me and a huge part of my and other's lives and being trans, and it upset me in a way? (also autistics with a franchise/media as their special interest will know what i mean😭)

i remember seeing a meme that was like "only girls understand adam" and with the history of adam being like. the poster boy for a lot young trans boys it kinda hit the wrong spot, even if it wasnt serious at all

so a few days ago i saw some fanart by @turnipoddity and thought. let me check in, its been long enough.

seeing the amount of trans chainshipping fics on ao3 was so relieving and seeing posts that reminded me of back then showed me that, even with saw not being the little community we once had, there are still people that think the same way as we did and adam and amanda still being interpreted the same, too

i dont really know why im writing this exactly, but i needed to get it out of my system. i hope saw will continue to be as important to young lgbt folk as it was and is to us.

[deedala]

Weekly Tag Wednesday - The Self Care Edition 🌞

hello!! happy wednesday my beans. thanks for the game today @mybrainismelted and thanks for tagging me + @suzy-queued @energievie @jrooc @lingy910y 💖 Name: deanna🌱

Age: noel-aged

What kind of day is it? spring warm and im not ready for that i want my chilly weather back

When was the last time you ate? like an hour and half ago when i woke up from my cold medicine-induced afternoon nap

About how many hours of sleep did you get? well i usually get around 6 hours but lately its been closer to 8

Name one thing you could do to make your day better right now: drink more water probably

Why are you not doing that thing? i am actually, i did it! just now! yum!

What are you going to do tonight to relax? read some fic hopefully

What comfort food do you not eat often enough? hmm chocolate chip cookies i think

What's stopping you? if i buy them at the grocery store i have to buy too many at once and i get stressed out over it lmao

Have you ever had a professional massage? yes

Have you eaten fruits and vegetables today? yes

How much water have you had today? at least 60 oz based off of how many times i've filled my water cup

Is there a self-care gadget you really want to buy? i dont think so?

What is your favourite healthy snack? whats a healthy snack? uuhhh i like rice cakes?

What is your favourite unhealthy snack? hrm...i have a very neutral view on the healthiness of foods but i guess a thing with the least nutritional value would be candy

What is one thing you are going to start doing RIGHT NOW to take better care of yourself? i dunno man im already doing my best lmao

And to close, I want you to say one NICE thing to yourself that you really need to hear right now: its okay to take lots of naps right now, you dont have to power through all the time

and now i shall tag some more nuggets to play if you want otherwise just consider this some awkward finger guns from across the room @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @mmmichyyy @juliakayyy @heymacy @heymrspatel @metalheadmickey @mickeysgaymom @gallawitchxx @crossmydna @iansw0rld @creepkinginc @squirrel-fund @vintagelacerosette @rereadanon @themarchg1rl @sickness-health-all-that-shit @callivich @the-rat-wins @softmick @palepinkgoat @sleepyfacetoughguy @whatwouldmickeydo @gardenerian @thisdivorce @sam-loves-seb @ardent-fox @transmickey @lee-ow @tanktopgallavich ✨✨✨

[4uru]

My personal problems:

My clusterfuck of a rant (ft. Cassandra clare)

Buckle up besties bc im about to trauma dump. Like actual baby gay trauma.

(@faithfromanewperspective you wanted to know, i dont think i can freestyle angst on an ask like i can on a post so here it is)

Tw: incest, gender dysphoria, homophobic parents, sexual assault.

In our country you have to give a board exam (goverment??? Exam??? Similar to SATs) at the end of your 5 grade. So you need a primary school certificate (PSC)

After my PSC, my parents fixed up my Tablet. And went to work., i sat on my leaving room couch with blankets and pillows for a whole month (there was a dent on the couch when i actually got up for 6th grade) and i surfed the internet in those weeks.

I saw the malec video on yt ( i didnt click on it and didnt think much of it)

So my friend told me to watch anime. Somehow searching 'anime' on yt lead me to an anime 'Super lovers' (yaoi, pseudo incest, pedophilic and rapey everything under the sun you can find, its in super lovers) also i was like 11. 5 years old at this point. I have no concept of whats right or wrong. And bc of these animes (theres so much of it) i thought incest was fine. I also got into Todobaku and bakudeku. And thats part was fine i was mainly watching edits on yt. Then i started reading yaoi mangas and wattpad stories and gacha vids (And yes incest is still featuring on these stories for the most part)

Somewhere along the line, i was like, this feels weird (it was a particularity bad wattpad story with incest i think) i was already consuming gay content for months by then. (I still hadnt started 6th grade mind you.) and my standard for content increased a bit. And i stopped engaging with incest fics and mangas completely. After i distanced myself from it i realised how fucked that was and moved on from it.

But i still engaged with gay content. Somehow i stumbled upon the malec vid again. I watched it. (The first time im seeing live action gay ppl on screen) then i got into thai bl. ("Love by chance" was my first) the thai bl scene was a bit better. Around this time i read bl, watched bl and started to research about gay culture and what not. I figured out i was attracted to girls before i even went back to school

When i went back to school I became friends with a girl (lets call her bunny) I knew bunny since 5th grade but i didnt talked to her that year. she was smart and cool and i had a bit of crush on her from afar.

(5th grade before gay awakening) One time in my school bus while guessing one of my "friends" crushes i asked if he had a crush on bunny, he laughed, i "joked" if i was a boy, i would grow up to marry her. That 'friend' emptied his water bottle on my head as a response.

In 6th grade, the first week (maybe 2nd /3rd January), bunny and i got selected for a group project along with other friends. Me and another friend went to bunny's house for the project. The other friend left. After that friend left bunny and I started to unpack our traumas for each other. Family troubles and what not. I (being the dumb bitch i am) told her that i liked her (and also the water bottle thing) and that i liked girls too (at this point I identified as bi)

In class 6 and of fuckery happend, but me and bunny became bsfs so fast, with in a day. And we were inseparable. I asked her out and she laughed in my face. And we laughed about it years later too. 6th grade ends with her being made at me for smth i didnt even do wrong and some other shit with out toxicest friened. (We werent hanging out by the end of the year)

(Also i finished all off the percy jackson and percy jackson spin offs in 6th grade) and i also told my dad that i liked girls too. He conveniently forgot it for the nest year.

I come back for 7th grade knowing I was bi or pan (couldnt decide which i identified with the most) i start hanging out with a group of boys. Then covid happens.

Lockdown at the begining was fine (terrified but fine) around the second month of lockdown some genderfuckery started to happen. I would forget my own gender (round the time i was falling asleep or waking up). I started consuming for trans stuff around this time. And i journaled on my sketchbook with doodles and cried on it. I had terrible dysphoria. And i didnt even have a name for it in the begining. And one day the pain became too much and i broke in front of my mother. I came out to her. She ignored me. (Muslim parents) she said i was just a tomboy and "theres nothing wrong with me" and other stuff. I was sure i was trans. And non binary (trans tiktok helped with that bit).

My dysphoria became worse as time went on. Just before time of my birthday. My step mother bought me some books i asked for (queer books) and it had Chain of Gold She saw that it had just come out and thought i would like it. So i was reading chain of Gold. And i didnt get shit. I maybe read 100 pages before i decided that i needed context. I went on goggle and searched the best ways to read cassandra clare books in order and they said that Series wise is best. So i started City of bones (worse mistake of my life)

It was on yt so i started with it first. I already knew before starting that jace and clary werent related and incest might come up. (I didnt know it was that levels of fucked in the books) i just saw a pinterest meme where it was said rather jokingly.

Anyway i finished the whole part one and two of The mortal instruments. I read it for Malec bc they were the only gay characters. I have 101 problems with this series but my most major one was Malec. So at this point in my life i was a closeted trans, (multispec) queer kid Something about reading Queer characters tell each other horrible things about bejng closted and bisexual made me hate myself more. Malec didnt not develope my internalized homophobia, it definately fueled it tho. After my birthday i got grounded (my parents found out the queer content i was engaging with. It was very traumatic. I came out to them and my dad to my face said that i am not queer, instead i am fetishizing queerness and i was engaging in perversion.)

Alot happend many times my parents tried to distance me from queer culture and media but gave up.

As 7th grade ended me and bunny reconnected (shit also happend when my mother read our chats)

Around 8th grade i cried and begged to my mother that i am not going to change and all that jazz, she didnt say anything. But she became more on gaurd, she would analyze my interactions with other girls differently (one time while riding in her scooty, i was in the back said and waved to a girl that was starting at me for some reason) my mother told my dad that shes afraid im flirting with girls AS IM ON THE SCOOTER WITH HER-

In class 8 bunny pulled some shit (i explained it in another post i think) also i finally watched the shadowhunter series show malec healed the wounds that book malec anf my parents left. I was for the most part okay i think (academic studies were my biggest problem)

In class 9 around second half of the year i joined tumblr (helped my mental health immense, finding other gay ppl) and i asked for a book from my step mother (it was a bangla book about a trans girl) my dad delivered it to me. And said that he got that i wasnt going to change (BC LORD KNOWS THEY TRIED) he told me to study well so i could go live abroad bc this country will have me dead. I agreed and took the book (i couldnt finish the book, it was too dark for me at times, i gave the book to bunny).

Bunny and my relationship is vented about in another post. I wont get it.

So my problem with cassandra clare happens for three major personal reasons, one of them i didnt even mention bc i still feel weird about it.

1. The Malec part.

2. The incest part : reading TMI made me relive that first part where i engaged with incestuous content. And just disturbed me to my core this time around EVENTHOUGH I HAD A MILD HEADS UP i didnt know the extent of its fuckery. I dont know why but it just turnt the disgust at incest meter up the roof. Like completely fucked my brain and i wasnt okay. (I was 13/14 my birthday fell in the middle)

3. The sexual assault of Aline.

(Tw: my SA)

As a child (9/10 yrs old) i was assulted in an crowded elevator, my dad was in the elevator, i didnt not see the assulters face. I just remember being sqished against the wall, with a mans hand jammed between my legs. I rember trying to flatten myself against the wall to get away from the hand but it woulnt stop. The hand was knuckles deep between my thighs. I didnt see the mans face. I dont rememeber what he looked like from the back. After we got out i told my dad. He barely reacted and said 'people are assholes'. I told my mother about it.... Earlier This year. I thought if i had told her, she wouldnt let me hang out with dad anymore. He was so nonchalant about it that i thought i was over reacting.

Reading the Aline SA scene fucked me up. It was the first time i had come across an SA scene in a book, before that it was lightly mentioned. In the Aline scene, my mind visualised the whole thing. And it nearly drove me to a panic attack. I was 13 at this point. And in the books it was never brought up again, like it was no big deal. Like it was normal. It was for shock value. And i fell for it.

And the rest of the tsc is still bad writing and i hated it. But tmi fucked right up mentally and yeah. I have other posts explaining my journey with it, under the tag auru's tsc rant. Those explain it better.

[coallise]

Writing Patterns - Hazbin Hotel Edition

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Wasn't tagged but it seemed like fun, @thesupernaturalhouse is who I found it from

Zestial knew he was in trouble when Carmilla’s youngest youngest gave him the puppy-dog eyes without any prior warning. (plush, carmine family fluff)

Alastor smiled, the youngest Vee was sipping coffee all alone. (Jacket a velvette, alastor friendship fic I randomly posted from my wips that idk what the original context was)

Zestial was having a chat with Rosie when his phone rang. (to be a dad, another carmine family fluff)

Skipping my soulmate au stuff cause I'm working on rewritting

Velvette hummed as she worked on some new designs in her office. (Internet alastor velvette friendship fic)

Zestial analyzed the video carefully. (salsa zestmilla/ carmine family fluff)

“Carmilla, will thou marry me? No, maybe, Carmilla mine dear, I wish to join you for eternity. No, that doth not work either,” Zestial paced around his office, a ring box in hand. (will you be our dad, zestmilla)

Odette carefully wrapped some of Clara’s wounds. (mother's heart, carmilla adopting her daughters fic)

Carmilla froze in the sky. (without you, heaven is hell, carmine family, carmilla former extorsist)

I definitely enjoy establishing who is in the scene, and cutting to action makes sense, I write very character focus. I guess I can give you guys some first lines from wips too.

1.The battle was intense. Zestial turned towards Carmilla and his blood went cold. (Amnesia, zestmilla fic)

2. Charlie shifted as she looked at her back. She finally got her wings. (working title uncle, a husk and charlie bonding I guess idk)

3. Carmilla stopped struggling under her husband’s boot. (no title yet, it would be a zestmilla, camilla pregnant in hell)

4. Charlie rocked back and forth on her feet as she waited for Carmilla's answer. (star shower, a carmilla former dominion, sera got her pregnant, daughters visit heaven for a festival word vomit)

5.“Don't worry, Peter, she's my guest today,” Ariana said. (second chance, this is Vaggie being reincarnated into being carmilla's youngest. I dont know how to describe it ok)

6. Zestial huffed as he slowly got off the ground. (this is the remake of my soulmate stuff)

7. Zestial hummed as he did his daily walk thru hell. (Workers, Zestial adopting clara and odette before their mother goes to hell)

looks like I need to play in my meh folder for the last few

8. Music was not an uncommon thing in hell, it was stranger when you did not hear a tune of some kind. (dance, crackfic of carmilla putting zestial under a love spell with her dancing)

9. “Uhg, they call us here and decide to waste our time being late,” Vellvette huffed, “Can't we just leave a note saying, ‘if you really wanted to chat, be on time’?” (No title, but Carmines force adoption emily)

10. For once, from the day he set foot in hell, Angel regretted his sins. (regret, ok, this one, if anyone wants to adopt it from me let me know and i can show you what i have, this was way back i wrote for the pilot and the idea was that when sinners get redeamed, they go back in time to when they first sinned and relive their lives. Angel, instead of sneaking out and loosing his virginity, decides to kill his father, who killed his mother, and then take Molly and runaway to the bayo and convince alastor to take them in.)

I also have a few, Rosie turns alastor into her son fics from before their episode came out. Charlie actually having her name in st.petter's book, a few different soulmate au's, one that might be the precursor to jacket, Alastor having a bad hair day, arranged marriage, and a zestmilla enemies to lovers.

not tagging anyone but, if anyone is interested in anything, feel free to chat. Inbox is always open.

[mightbeorphanedidk]

Now, normally, I wouldn't show you guys photos taken from my phone of my laptop cus thee quality turns out bad but..

JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

This is the last chapter of "I trusted you with such a small yet big thing (and look where that got me)" and OH MY GOD. DAMN. I wasn't expecting THIS much. Like I knew it would be a lot, but not 10-FUCKING-THOUSAND.

AND THIS IS UNEDITED. I STILL HAVE TO EDIT. DAMN. I'M SCARED OF MYSELF.

It's not that it's 10k words. I started writing this LAST NIGHT. It's been 23 hours since I started. I've been writing for like, 10 hours AT LEAST.

Completely ignored my draft for the ending, did a compete 180⁰ turn and said YOLO. I'm happy with how it turned out, though.

Edit: ok so I split it into two chapters yayy thanks puniyo for recommending me to do that <3 Edited the two chapters and now, combined, it's actually 10k, not rounded or anything.

I'm really tired but the writing grind never stops 💪

Jk I'm going to take a break for like an hour or two, maybe have a nap, and start working on the angel AU, and then the torture fic. Im pacing myself, though, guys dw. We now have a deadline, too. I want to get these chapters out by the time I get back, so i have 24 days. Might as well get those Christmas advent calenders.

Tw math up ahead

So, let's put this discussion in a theoretical sense. I have 24 days, which is 24² hours (576 hours). If I write at the rate of roughly 1000 words per hour, and that too if I'm focused without distraction, I can write 576x10³ words. But i need to sleep, eat, and go to school.

SO

Hours in a day avaliable = 24-6-6-2 = 10 hours

10 hours × 24 = Total amount of time available = 240

240×10³ = Total amount of words I can write

If I maximise my time and spend it on NOTHING ELSE other than writing, I can write a novel worth like, one fifth of the Bible. Cool. Sorry guys I needed to do a little math to escape from too much literature.

BUT, guess which bitch has an art and geo assignment, and a science test next week 😝 (its me. I'm that bitch.) So we're gonna be a bit more busy.

God I love stress

No i dont

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