#i did NOT need to read this much but i feel the need to explain everything lmfao

[erwinsvow]

we need more moment where shy!reader was studying and practicing new things to show rafe!! ik that girl is so kinky and it’s always the shy girls <33

YESS omg i srsly love that drabble when i reread it im like she was cookin.. i feel like shes the type to try to prep herself with a dildo bc she can never take all of rafe but imagine he found it n was like ?!!?

really—your boyfriend was too big. it was excessive, and though you could never find the words to tell him to stop or slow down—mostly because you didn't want him to—he always did anyways.

no matter how much you insisted that you could take all of him, rafe didn't like to listen. so you were stuck in a conundrum, and your choices were either lying to your boyfriend that it didn't hurt or accepting the fact that he'll never be as rough with you as you want.

you were willing to sit down and accept a lot of things without a fight—but this was not one of them.

one discreetly wrapped delivery later, you had yourself your very own rafe-sized dildo—a pretty pink color and of such a size that it had your insides churning with anticipation. about half an hour later with the use of some lube and lots of work, you were successfully able to fit about three-fourths. it wasn't perfect, yet, but it was a work in progress.

you didn't want to overdo it and end up insanely sore either, and you were beginning to realize even half was enough to have you cumming over and over again. so much so that you almost forgot about the date you had planned with rafe for that night—scrambling to get up and get ready.

that night, after a nice date and way too much ice cream, you realized you were too fucked out from your afternoon activity to go for another round for rafe. it was no big deal—except it happened the next day. then the day after that. and the one after that.

you had mastered the rafe-sized dildo, and you could take the entire thing after week of practice. but it also meant that it had been a full week without your boyfriend fucking you—something that hadn't happened since you had lost your virginity to him.

a little too clueless around rafe like always, you hadn't realized anything was wrong. rafe was on edge—pent up and unable to keep taking out his frustration on the golf course after almost breaking one of his clubs—but you didn't really notice.

you were waiting for tonight, after another date to show him your new-found skills, but of course, he didn't know that.

getting ready in your bathroom, blasting music and doing your makeup, you don't even hear the door open to your bedroom. rafe came to get you early, knowing you would need more time but way too antsy to wait alone in his car.

he sits on your bed, listening to the muffled music from behind the closed door. he's not impatient with you and hardly ever like this, but the current situation had left him more desperate to see you than usual.

leaning against your headboard, he feels something under your pillow. lifting it to move whatever it was—knowing you, the book you had been reading last night—his jaw clenches when he sees it. a dildo. not just any dildo—a huge dildo. under your pillow like you'd just been using it or something.

the pillow stays in his hand but he has an overwhelming urge to chuck it across the room. was this the reason the two of you hadn't had sex in a week? were you finding pleasure from some stupid toy instead of him?

"rafe?" you ask, stepping out of the bathroom and staring at the scene in front of you with big eyes. you're distractingly pretty everyday but even more so today with a short skirt and done-up face for the date he's not sure if he'll be taking you on.

your face burns with humiliation—stupidly realizing you hadn't put the damn thing away after last night. rafe is looking at you and then looking back at your bed, his fist tight around your pillow.

"um, i-"

"do you wanna explain? i'll give you five fuckin' seconds to explain-"

"no, it's not what it looks like-"

"really, kid? what it looks like is you're fuckin' this stupid thing instead of me. y'know, i'll just fuck off and you can have fun-"

rafe stands, not really angry but still sounding like he is. it's more pent-up frustration bubbling up, but you rush over to him anyways, looking so panicked he feels bad the second he said anything. he can't stay mad at you for longer than a minute.

"it's not what it looks like, i swear-"

"what is it then, huh?"

"i was just practicing! i was just trying to get better for you. see, it's yours." you motion to the toy still on the bed.

"huh?" rafe asks, looking between you and the bed.

"it's you. see. it's like... your size. um-" you get flustered again, shutting up in the fear that you've just said something to rafe that you should have kept to yourself. "i'm.. sorry?"

"no you're not."

"no, but i feel bad. are your feelings hurt? i'm sorry."

when rafe glances back at you, tearing his gaze away from the bright pink that's beginning to hurt his eyes, he realizes how sad you look, thinking you've done something to upset him.

"no, m'fine. just.. tell me next time. it was a jump scare."

"okay.." you stay still infront of him, awkwardly playing with your hands waiting for him to say something. you're a little concerned rafe's still upset, but he doesn't seem to look it, rather looking at you expectedly.

"what?" you question immediately, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"what? get on the bed. you've had enough practice. time for the real thing."

[sadomas0chist]

room 609

────── nanami kento

⤷ general.manager!nanami who can’t help but be seduced by your little receptionist fit and wit.

tw: age gap (20s ; 40s), kind of a slow burn to porn, masturbation (male), seductive touching,mating press, dirty talk, praise, doggy, slight riding, minor daddy kink, oral (fem) , fingering, creampie, unprotected sex, not read proof MDNI

pssst!! i missed you guys so much <3 i hope you enjoy this piece i’ve prepared for you. i’ll get to my inbox asks as soon as i can. love and kisses xoxo

“sir you booked your room b&b, which means your breakfast is included in the pricing of your room regardless if you have it or not. i can’t reimburse you.” you explained for the tenth time to the stubborn guest on the other side of the desk. you’ve already had a long day and were close to ending your shift until he came and disrupted your plans.

“is there a problem here?” he uttered, making both of your heads turn at him. nanami was standing by the reception, probably aware of the silly conflict thanks to the cameras he installed. it was a good thing that not only they showed him what was happening but he could also hear the entire discussion.

you looked down at your french nails, not saying a word as the client went out on his rant. haven’t you done that, you would’ve noticed how your superiors would casually gaze at you, unfazed by the ongoing monologue.

“how about that sir,” nanami spoke up, his eyes now fully fixated on the man. “let’s say i rented a room at your place, bed, and breakfast included, and you end up preparing one of the most exquisite breakfast only for me to reject your hospitality and ask you to pay me back that breakfast, disregarding all the care and effort you put to make me feel at home. how would that make you feel?”

silence. utter and complete awkward silence.

you were so stunned and yet nothing could match the man’s face. this was the first time you heard nanami use that tone, or even speak that much for that matter. you thought he was done until he proceeded: “you booked your room fully aware that you were paying for both the room and the breakfast. i hope there won’t be any further issues.” he adjusted the glasses on his face before stoically watching him pay his stay then check out. “hm if you can’t handle silly conflicts call me. i don’t need to be babysitting you 24/7.”

you couldn’t even reply or apologize as he turned around and left. it took you a minute to realize he undermined your skills and humiliated you. you clenched your teeth and furiously grabbed your bag. you were stomping so hard on the marble floor you were sure that the guests could hear you. “babysitting my ass,” you grunted.

you’ve been working as a receptionist for almost a year. you knew what you were doing but he always had to butt in and comment on everything you did. just to tick you. he clearly didn’t seem to care when your colleague answered a call in front of a guest and began cussing at her sister loudly. but you, whatever you'd do, there was always an aftermath about it with nanami. it wasn't like you were particularly fond of your job, it was only temporary.

you couldn’t say anything to him or complain to anyone about him since he was the general manager of the hotel but your patience was wearing thin and you were seriously considering quitting. nanami was an arrogant man. an attractive one, unfortunately. he could capture the attention of a room in seconds. always composed and well-groomed. god he smelled heavenly too. you could try to deny your tiny crush all you wanted but it was there. his praise meant a lot to you. when you first began working here, his compliments happened often, almost daily. whether it's how much of a 'fast learner you are', or how you're doing 'a good job'. you'd get high on them. having a general manager like nanami praise you was everything you needed to boost your self-esteem. however, the moment you got comfortable around him, throwing a few hand waves whenever you saw him passing by the lobby or even knocking on his door without calling his office first to check if he had time to see you, it was all gone and soon replaced with constant scolding.

you knew that nanami was a serious man. a workaholic. albeit he’d always find ways to slightly touch you, brush up against you, squeeze you into your desk to pass behind you with his hands on your hips to ‘grab some papers’ although he had copies. sometimes he’d even go as far as to reprimand you for unbuttoning the very first two buttons of your dress shirt, scolding you for showing a bad image of his hotel.

“so unprofessional,” he tutted. “this isn’t a brothel. you’re not supposed to seduce the guests.” he murmured as he fixed them for you. you were looking at him with doe eyes, your crush undeniable at that moment, your chest heavily moving as he was unbelievably close to you, his fingers lightly brushing your exposed skin. “i didn’t know that a few buttons could seduce someone.” you lowly replied, your tone lining with slyness and quip. nanami looked down at your chest one last time before humming, his phone ringing in his pocket.

nanami treatment for you was paradoxical. he got off teasing you. especially when you first came into his office to present yourself after your interview. you were wearing your black pencil skirt and loose tucked-in white shirt. as respectful as he was, he was still a man. he couldn't help his eyes that lingered on your exposed legs, up to your tight skirt and beautiful curves. he'd be lying if he didn't think about you spread on his desk, his cock buried inside you with his tie wrapped around your wrists, holding your tits together.

she is so receptive, he’d think. watching you work and obey. you were so obedient to his commands and wishes. made him wonder if you were receptive in bed too.

he saw you the next day going into the hr's office, nobara's, to receive your paycheck. his office wasn’t far and he always passed by each department to check if everything was intact. “thank you so much, oh also could i have tomorrow off?” you inquired as you got up, not sensing the presence of the tall blond man behind you.

“sure but i’d have to double check with mr- oh! there you are!” she shrieked as she saw nanami. you turned your head to catch him looking down at you. he was wearing a black shirt with black chinos. fuck me, you thought. if he didn’t call you out of your daze you’d probably have trailed too far down his body and gawked at his print.

“what do you need your off for? it’s the first of the month.” he deadpanned. truth be told it didn’t matter when you wanted to have your day off as long as your colleagues could cover your shift. moreover, he had no right to ask you why you needed your day off. it was personal and he was breaching your privacy.

“well, mr nanami,” a glimpse sparkled in his eyes at the pronunciation of his name. “i need to have a breath of fresh air. a change of environment.“ you said tilting your head a little to the side. you were holding the envelope between your fingers, waiting for his reply. “i guess if nabora granted you a day off then you should be good to go. have a nice day.”

nanami left to his office, nobara snickering behind you. you got pretty close with her throughout the year. you shared the same interests and often hung out together and tomorrow was going to be one of those days.

you’d go out to blow off some steam — get black-out drunk — and dance around like idiots. your team was amazing and you were so grateful nobara was so fun to be around. everyone was generally nice, well, almost everyone.

you’d go out every once a week. it was your thing. sometimes you’d go to each other's places and have a small gossip about some of your colleagues, sometimes you’d do both.

“god that was so nice,” nobara slurred out as you got to her apartment. your day off paid well. fresh salary got you pretty nails and a pretty meal before you went to the club and had a few shots. it was packed to the brim but you didn’t mind. it was a different atmosphere and you've been dying for some nightlife. you took off your short dress, and a few flashbacks of how you were grinding against the handsome man went through your mind.

if it weren’t for nobara pulling you away to do more shots, you’d probably have gone home with him. both of you were slurring your words, drunkenly spilling the hot gossip about every employee in the hotel.

“— and i told him that! he is just sooooo,” she trailed before proceeding, her hand on your thigh. “dumb!” she laughed, throwing her entire body back and collapsing on her bed. man, you loved work gossip. you were fully entertaining nobara, both of you in your silk pajamas.

you were slowly drifting away, your eyelids getting heavier until she dropped his name in the conversation, your body uncontrollably shooting up. “my my, don’t be so alarmed.” she snickered. “i thought you saw him at the club. i was calling you to come say hi but you were so busy grinding against that hot mess.” she nudged you with her elbow before falling back on her back.

pause. press pause now.

“nanami was there?” you could only mutter out. while you failed to spot him, he, on the other hand, most definitely saw you. your blood ran cold and you began overthinking. you knew he wasn’t your boss outside of your work environment, he couldn’t scold you. yet you kept on worrying.

“hey you good?” she asked worriedly, your face scrunching up. “god you act so weird every time i bring him up. almost as if you like him.” nobara giggled. your eyes widened. “i do not!” you almost yelled defensively.

she was quiet for a second, remembering your interactions with him. how he treated you differently than others. harsher and almost too controlling. as fun as nobara was, she was still one of the smartest people you ever worked with. she could smell it a mile away. you liked him.

“you’re drunk and making things up.” your voice softened up. “he’s so mean. i don’t get why he’s so harsh with me. and all the touching…” you trailed, the alcohol not helping you think clearly. you looked beside you to find nobara asleep, her snores gradually becoming stronger. you scoffed at your friend before grabbing your phone from your purse and rewatching the stories you posted.

you noticed a new name amongst your usual views, your brows furrowing in confusion.

nanamikento

nanami was on social media? and how did he find your account? you used a fake name. knowing you won't be hearing the end of it, you decided to sleep it off and gather all the energy you could need for tomorrow.

you didn't even have time to salute the night audit as the phone rang the second you stepped into the reception area. nanami. you internally sighed and mentally prepared yourself for what you might tell him as you made your way to his office. you knocked on his door and he lowly asked you to come in and have a seat on his leather couches. you take a seat in front of him and before he even has the chance to glance at you, your tongue lets loose. "mr. nanami i know you saw my Instagram stories last night however this is none of your concern and i don’t feel like i should be called in here to be scolded for doing something that isn’t hurtful to my work environment. i'm a highly professional and punctual employee and i strongly believe that i don't need to be hearing any more scolding coming from you."

while you felt empowered by your monologue, nanami didn't seem fazed at all. he glanced up at you when you started talking, not blinking once before deadpanning: "i frankly couldn't bother to care about what you do outside this hotel therefore your personal life is no bother to me. however what does bother me indeed," he said standing up before walking around his desk and towering over you, "is the way you just spoke to me."

god, he was so close you could feel his breath lingering on your lips. it was only natural for you to feel more embarrassed and humiliated about what happened. you gulped before looking up at him, your lips hesitant to move. "mr. nanami i apologize for my rude behavior. i sincerely do. i- i just, you always seem to want to scold me whatever i do and i thought that this time-"

"are you saying i have a poor sense of judgment and scold you because i want to?" his hands were now on each side of the couch, caging you in as he leaned further down. you leaned back, breath labored. he didn't look like it but he was enjoying every second.

she's so beautiful when she's all flustered and red. squeezing her thighs together and fiddling with her pretty nails from embarrassment and i haven't touched her yet. he didn't expect you to answer his question. he was just trying to get you all worked up.

he couldn't help but be mean to you. at first, you were just another e, employee to him. needy of his praise to rise through the ranks and become better and more efficient at their job. needing and thriving for motivational words to get the job done. but the more he spoke to you and watched you get warm around him, the less control he had over himself.

"mr. nanami i printed out all the vouchers you asked for and contacted the travel agency to confirm all the guests for tomorrow's wedding. oh, and i thought i'd ask room service to bring you your lunch here. i couldn't help but notice you didn't have time to sit with us at lunch today." you smiled at him, your hands interlocked as you stood in front of his desk. he grinned at you, grabbing the papers you gently put on his desk with your soft hands. "that's very kind of you y/n. i would've asked you to join me but as you can see i'm busy."

"oh yes, definitely mr. nanami i wouldn't want to bother you anyway. if you'll excuse me i need to go back to the lobby. goodbye." you turned on your heels and exited his office leaving him and his print that was clear as day.

"fhuck," he groaned as he stroked his throbbing cock, his hand leaning against his bathroom in a fist with his head down, eyes shut as he imagined you were sucking him instead. he'd always get worked up because of you. how small and innocent you looked. so kind, so mesmerizing. so fragile compared to him. "fucking hell y/n, mhm," his hand going faster, squeezing his swollen tip. "just like that pretty," he whimpered thinking about your lips wrapped around his tip kissing and teasing his slit before he came all over his hand. nanami breathed out, ashamed that a small interaction turned him into a raging teenage boy fucking his fist secretly in the bathroom. he knew he needed more, touch you, scold you, anything to get a reaction out of you.

"mr. nanami please don't fire me. you're right i poorly acted." your voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he was glad it did or else you'd start by noticing the growing bulge in his dress pants.

he leaned back up and went back to his chair, discreetly fixing himself. "there's a group of guests coming at two in the afternoon, approximately sixty to seventy people. i need you to start working on the rooming list before they arrive to have a smooth check-in and make sure all the rooms are well cleaned." he fixed his glasses and looked at his laptop.

"but, wasn't the rooming list supposed to be done two weeks ago i don't understand." doing this on your own is suicide. it wasn't a small group. he's talking about sixty to seventy people. it's impossible.

"i called you hear for this reason. i need you to do it because unfortunately we just were recently notified due to lack of expertise and this group is going to stay over a few months, losing them would be idiotic." he muttered the last bit and kept on typing on his laptop. "you are dismissed. i trust you can get the work done."

your eyebrows arched up as your mind wondered if your ears were playing tricks on you or if he just said something nice. you decided to ignore it and go back to work. you had no time to waste and to your bad luck, today you were alone at the front desk.

"i’m actually so tired i cannot feel my fingers. i’ve been typing all day nonstop only to be rewarded with a small good job from nanami. like i literally cannot take his shit anymore, i told you what happened earlier in his office." you huffed. "i don’t understand why he acts this way with me! he’s so indifferent and i genuinely can't stand him." you dropped onto her bed lying back and looked up at the ceiling. she snickered and laughed next to you. she knows you're annoyed because of your silly crush. parts of you wanted him to be jealous of that guy you were rubbing yourself on. god knows he was.

"well," she paused as she sat next to you. "you’re gonna have to tolerate him tonight babes because we are seeing him outside of work. now before you start talking again," she exclaimed silencing you with a finger against your lips and making you pout. "we all had a tiring day today and we know we’re going to be quite busy and overwhelmed for the next few months to come so the owner decided to give some of us, well the hard workers, access to one of his private members' club to blow off some steam and award us for the general good job we’ve been doing. anyway, nanami is gonna be there so i want you to get over the crush you have on him and no don't deny it because the sooner we can get ready the better."

you glare at her. nobara was right but you were a stubborn person. "absolutely not". you interject as you stand up and throw your phone on the bed. "i am not going out to party with a man who constantly insults me. i refuse to go out with a man who looks down on me for no reason and have to pretend to enjoy my time tonight around him just so he doesn’t have any smart retort to say to me. i want to dress up however i want, i want to dance, i want to drink and I want to get black-out drunk and not have anyone reprimand me or scold me for my behavior and i’m not going to be able to do that if he’s going to be there." you put your hands on your waist and sighed when you caught nobara holding her laughter with pursed lips.

"nobara i can see that you’re going to burst." she starts laughing and falls back on her back. "oh man, i didn't know you cared about nanami kento that much. lord," she kept on laughing, her mouth wide open and arms holding her stomach. "girl fuck you." you blushed. "i'm not going and that's final." you rolled your eyes, and sat on her couch.

this was starting to become very frustrating.

"this place is amazing!" nobara yelled in your ear as you walked into the club. you ended up caving in. although you had your stand on the situation, you still wanted to see him. you wanted to look at him. you were curious to know if he dressed differently outside of work or if he acted differently. you were feeling pretty confident. you looked stunning. a black dress that wrapped beautifully around your body and matching black, red bottom heels.

his eyes landed on you the second you stepped through the door. he was sitting on one of the couches where the other invitees were, swirling his bourbon in his hand. once he noticed nobara spotting him, he stood up, downing his drink in one swing, and adjusted his clothes.

you locked eyes with him, your heart dropping instantly. he was wearing a black shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and casual pants that fit him just perfectly and tonight he wasn't wearing his glasses. he is so handsome, you thought to yourself. nobara walked up to him first, hugging him casually as if he wasn't her superior.

you, on the other hand, were too shy to do so as well. instead, you extended your hand, only for him to catch it and pull you to his chest, arm wrapping around your waist tightly while his other arm was wrapped around your shoulders to rest his hand on your head, keeping you in place. your heart was beating so fast you could hear it beat louder than the music around you.

you closed your eyes, taking into his smell as your arms unconsciously found their way around his back, the pads of your fingers lingering on the muscles. "you smell good," he whispered in your ear, your skin burning at his compliment. "you look stunning as well," he added before letting you go of his embrace, your heart sinking at the loss of his touch. "thank you, you look good yourself." you said, the tips of your ears red. you were going to explode.

and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, you saw him smile at you. a genuine ass smile. did he have too much to drink? you couldn't6 think about anything else to say as your hand was abruptly taken by nobara to drag you to the bar to do shots.

you glanced at him one last time before your view was hidden by the people in the crowd.

"i'm so fucking hammered!" nobara exclaimed while the others cheered with her, doing more shots. everyone looked so drunk. you didn't let yourself drink too much. you couldn't afford to be drunk and forget about what happened with nanami or worse, act like a drunk in front of him. that couldn't happen. you had to stay composed.

"let's dance! come on y/n show them!" nobara cheered while you shook your head, everyone else encouraging you. "come on we're all gonna dance." another coworker said.

you were dragged to the dancefloor and decided to just enjoy it. at the end of the day, you were here to blow off some steam and this is what you were about to do. you danced and swayed your hips to the music, laughing at nobara's weird dance moves. it's the first time you realize how ridiculous she looks drunk dancing.

hands on your waist made you jump, your hands over them, eager to get them off you. "it's me," nanami reassured you in your ear. you looked around only to find out that it was really him, hands on your waist, moving with you to the music, your back pressed firmly against him. your ass rubbed against him while you moved, only making him hold you tighter. "mr nanami, i don't think this is appropriate." you try to say, not wanting anyone to get the wrong idea.

"they're all drunk," he turned you around, his hands dropping to your hips. "you don't mind dancing with a stranger but you do so with me?" he cocked his eyebrow, his face turning as he looked down at you.

part of you was giddy about it. so it did bother him.

"i thought you didn't care mr nanami-"

"kento." he deadpanned. "call me kento."

"kento..." you muttered, your eyes softening at him as you wrapped your arms around his neck only to drop them at his shoulders. you wanted to touch him all over.

"i lied. it enraged me. i felt jealous, i wanted to be the one to touch you like he did, better than he did." you felt dizzy. you were a smart girl though. it slowly started making sense to you. the bullying, the accidental touching. all of it.

"you want to touch me kento?" you reached to his ear to whisper, kissing his ear before tugging at his lobe. you dragged his hand down your ass, urging him to touch you. you could hear him hiss, his hand now gripping your ass. "hm." he hummed feeling the plump of your ass.

the music was so loud and everyone was acting promiscuously drunk around you. no one seemed to notice how gentle nanami’s touch was on you despite the atmosphere that would invite to a harsher and more sexual kind of touching. he was allowing his hand to go over your curves, giving himself permission to drag his fingers underneath the curve of your ass, up your hips and waist to finally caress your cleavage.

as much as he’s been dreaming about ripping off your clothes and taking you on his desk, he couldn’t bring himself to be rough with you.

you looked so beautiful so gentle. “kento?” your voice drove his eyes back to yours. “so gorgeous,” he put his hand on your cheek. “so soft,” your skin was on fire. you felt your goosebumps rise as his thumb worked his way to separate your lips.

“take me to your place.” your boldness taking him by surprise. you wrapped your hand around his bicep, pressing yourself further into him.

“i can’t, it’s not appropriate.” nanami coughed, still holding you against him, not truly convinced by his own statement.

you looked at the blond male with doe eyes, tilting your head. pushing yourself up on the tip of your toes you gave his neck a small kiss, feeling his body tense up as you did so. “please,” you begged against his skin. “please kento,” you kept on giving his skin kitten kisses, his fingers almost digging into your skin.

he looked down at your pleading eyes, then down to your cleavage that was pressing against him. “the things you do to me,”

“what things?” you whisper, your lips almost touching his. you were feeling a bit more courageous now that you’ve discovered that your crush was clearly reciprocated. “don’t you wanna show me?” you finger trailed down his chest to his pants before poking his print. he choked in some air, quickly having a sense of alert as he skimmed his surroundings, not wanting anybody to start any gossip.

“they’re all drunk nanami, it’s just you and me,” you reached out to his face, turning him so he could face you again.

without any second thought, he wrapped his big hand around yours and dragged you out of the crowded dance floor towards the exit. you couldn’t help but bite down on your smile, watching how his back muscles flexed as he made his way through the dancing bodies, carefully ever checking that you were still following him although he had your hand secured in his.

once you were outside, he asked the valet to bring up his car. his hand on your thigh the whole ride, giving you small caresses of reassurance. you couldn’t help but take notice of his tenderness, how handsome his looked while driving. you wondered if he looked that good being on top of you as well.

and he was.

“kento~” you whimpered, your legs resting on his shoulders as he bullied his fat cock inside you. you’d try to move around, get more, feel more.

“be my good girl and let daddy take care of you.” he rolled his hips into you, your warmth and wetness coating him. the nickname he had given himself already making you all wobbly.

you nodded, your eyebrows furrowed as he thrusted at an unbelievably slow aching pace, giving you long and deep stroke against your walls. “if only you knew,” he grunted, pulling back before pushing back in all that once, earning a small yelp from your beautifully parted lips. “how much i’ve been wanting to fold you like this.” nanami rested his forehead against yours, his lips capturing yours.

you moaned against his lips, your fingernails tracing shapes on his muscled back as he picked his pace up. nanami’s kisses were hungry, a real evidence of his earlier statement. he’s been wanting this for so long. “kento, you feel so good inside me,” you murmured through his lips, grabbing the back of his neck to pull him closer.

your words made him tremble, his hips slamming faster against your thighs. “i never want to get out, god i want to fill you up so badly,” he stated almost in a weak whimper. you rocked your hips with him, trying to meet him at each move. but he was unpredictable.

flipping you around and arching your back, getting a full view of your ass and swollen cunt. “so messy,” he dragged his finger across your folds making you shiver, before pushing his finger in. you moaned out, your hand reaching to hold onto the headboard.

he was having fun with you now, pushing his finger at first then adding another, before removing them both to rub on your abused clit only to stop before your climax to finger you again.

“kento please,” you whimpered trying to move yourself back and get some friction from his dick but he tutted, removing your hand away. “you’re my good girl remember? my good girl always does what she’s told isn’t that right?” he inquired, rubbing his swollen tip against your entrance.

you nodded against his scented pillow, submissively putting both hands behing your back, showing your surrender to him. “that’s it, such a good fucking girl,” he muttered, his length pushing against your folds again, this time a tad harsher accompanied with a spank on your cheeks. “so good darling, so good,”

his nicknames got you high. his praise got you high. your hips were thrown back, almost as if you were managing his thrusts. he let you, watching how you would roll your hips and guide yourself through your orgasm.

“kento…” you whimpered, tears filling your eyes as you creamed over his girth. “come for daddy sweetheart that’s it,” he encouraged you, wrapping his hand around you to toy with your clit, sending you over the edge.

“so messy,” he chuckled watching you lose control over him. nanami pulled out and before you could complain he was down on his knees and eating your cum that was leaking from your abused hole. “oh my god, fhuck yes daddy,” you rode his face, enjoying the feeling of his tongue scooping your cum, his hands firmly gripping your ass to pull your cheeks apart.

you felt yourself overstimulated, ready for another orgasm. he could feel it too by the way your thighs were jiggling.

using his middle and ring finger, nanami spread you again, curling them inside your walls to rub your spot. you were such a mess. creaming on his fingers and blabbering on his pillow.

“you’re so sensitive, i love it,” he smirked, giving your ass a small bite before licking off your cum from his fingers.

you felt his weight lie next to you, rolling your body over. “are you okay?” he carefully pushed the hair away from your face. you nodded with a smile. once you realized he was done it quickly faded.

“you haven’t came yet.” you held his arm. he chuckled. “but you did. plus you seem tired i don’t want to push myself.” he sheepishly said.

you shook your head refusing. “no,” you got up and straddled him, lining his dick to your entrance before fully sitting on him.

“holy fuck what are you doing?” nanami asked you, watching you wrap your arms around him. “gonna make you come inside me,” you sultry answered, to which he held your hips with his hands, guiding your bouncing body. his lips parted to the way your eyes rolled back. you looked so fucked out it was mesmerizing.

you tits bouncing up and down with the motions of your body followed by yelps of his name.

“come inside me daddy,” you mewled in his ear, holding onto his shoulders. you could feel him groan as he began to fuck himself up into you, soon unloading his balls inside you.

you felt dizzy to the feeling of his warm seed, grinding yourself on him to make sure to receive it all.

you rested your face in the crook of his neck before letting out a small laughter. “never thought you’d be such a dirty man mr. nanami,”

he only laughed in return. “and you haven’t even seen the beginning of it.”

[cursedvida]

It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..

"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)

Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.

And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:

One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.

Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.

Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.

Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.

I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.

But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for venting?

Emojis, so I can find it later 💯⁉️💥 (unrelated, I just use them a lot)

So I(16) have been struggling with depression since I was, like, 10. It's been worse and better over the years, but something that really triggers it is extreme weather. Dunno why, but if its hot as fuck outside I *will* be considering suicide.

I regularly go to sleepaway camp every year. I usually do two weeks and usually go during the summer rainy season. Well, a year or two back (can't remember, got that depression and ADHD memory loss) I went later on in the summer than I usually do, and it was really fucking hot out. The whole time.

I could deal with it for a couple of days, especially because I was having a bit of romantic tension with J(16) (not real name, not even real initial). "I can survive any situation as long as I have a crush on someone there", or whatever that post said. He was really sweet and also suffered from depression. We talked about our struggles together, and he seemed to be responsive and chill about it. He did have trauma from his past with loved ones committing suicide, but he seemed to have worked through his grief and didn't have negative reactions when it was mentioned.

Here's where I might be the asshole. Eventually, the heat got to be too much for me, not to get too graphic but I was making plans, so I sent my parents a letter asking to pick me up. I waited a couple days for them to recieve it, and they did and called and said they would pick me up in the morning.

I delivered the news to everyone by being quite vague about what I had to go home for. When pressed, I said my parents didn't give any details and I was a little worried. That explained my acting weird away to everyone, but not J. He didn't believe me for one minute, and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

He took me outside, asked me what was wrong, and told me it was ok to tell him. It took a little convincing, but I eventually broke down and told him I was having suicidal ideation and that I needed to get the fuck out of dodge or I might do something drastic. I specified that I would be completely fine once I got out of the oppressive heat and humidity, just that I had to go home ASAP. I did ask him not to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry, which I realize now was unkind. I should have at least told a counselor so that he wasn't alone.

Anyway, he immediately started having full-fledged PTSD flashbacks. I couldn't tell at first, but then I realized what was going on and tried to comfort him. It didn't work. The counselor that came check on us just kicked me out. I went back inside feeling guilty, but I was hoping that I reassured him enough that he would be ok.

He acted normal for the rest of the time I was there (we even kissed! That was my first kiss) and made me promise to text him when I got home. Naturally, I did, reassuring him and telling him I was feeling infinitely better now that I had air conditioning and my phone. When he got home from camp a week later, he seemed a little freaked out but seemed to be mollified by my texts.

However, a couple days after that, he texted me out of nowhere, saying that I shouldn't have told him about what I was going home about because I gave him constant PTSD flashbacks for the rest of camp. He felt sick with worry the whole time. I felt like shit, obviously, so I responded with profuse apologies. He seemed to accept them but still feel a little resentful.

I still feel really fucking bad about it. I actually haven't told anyone I know IRL about. Well. Pretty much anything bothering me since. I know that's a bit of an overreaction, but I don't want to do that to anyone else.

So, am I the asshole?

(By the way, if you were there or know me, I would love it if you could just ignore this. Please and thank you. And also never make me know you read this cause that would be embarrassing as fuck lol)

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hello! First of all I wanted to say that damn I love your fics, they give me so much gender euphoria and are so validating. Second, I understand if you feel unconfortable with this request but how do you think Homelander would react to reader's self harm scars? Since he's basically a god, I wouldn't be suprised by how a "fragile little creature" like a human could do this and why.

John Gillman/Homelander x male reader

Headcanons

idk why i chose this gif, he just looks so cute here.

I ignore how in canon hed probably be a horrible guy about it. I am a firm fanon believer.

In the beginning I don’t even really think John would register that his lover has self-harm scars, since it’s never something he’s thought about himself. I imagine he’s had self-harming thoughts before sure, but never cutting himself since nothing can cut through him.

Hes probably tried to hurt himself one way or another, since he isn’t really the best place mentally, or when he thinks he isn’t doing good enough and whatnot.

But at first it doesn’t really click for him, since he’s so unused to seeing scars since he has none himself. It would probably take John longer than he would like to admit for it all to make sense, and it would be after you got comfortable enough to go around in short sleeves.

Maybe you think he’s just always known, since he’s got x-ray vision and all that, so he must have known from the beginning, right? And he just never said anything about it. yeah, not really.

He will act like that’s how it all went, because there’s no way Johns gonna admit that he didn’t notice something so important, no matter if they are old or fresh. If they’re fresh, John would build a habit of checking on you every time he sees you, just in case, you know?

He might still do this, even if they are old and you haven’t done it in a long time. Because who knows, maybe things become so stressful that you need that outlet again.

Shamefully, to John at least, the hero would find himself going online to check it out. Hes got no training in mental illness or how to deal with that, which messes with him since he’s supposed to be perfect.

So he finds himself on different forums, from both people who have done it, and partners of people who have self-harmed, reading into how they deal with it or react. John being, well, John, would probably grow annoyed because its all types of emotionally vulnerable stuff, something he’s horrible at.

There is also little chance he would bring it up, at least in the beginning. Again, because it’s a new ground he’s never been on, and its an emotional conversation he can’t figure out how to navigate.

The conversation would end up coming up as you two are cuddling, and John finds himself carefully stroking the area with the scars, trying to comprehend why and how you would do that. What did you go through? There might also be some guilt, since he couldn’t save you from whatever made you self-harm, even if you guys didn’t even know each other at the time.

It would end up with you explaining it to him, since you guys are in a relationship and its all built on trust, right? And he’s been so chill about it this entire time, so why not tell him.

You almost get a heart attack when he starts getting glossy eyes and his bottom lip wobbles just a little, because John has been stressed about this since he figured it out, and he just doesn’t know how to react or what to do.

In the end its you that has to comfort him, and explain that it isn’t a big deal and nothing to cry about. But you also know it’s a new experience for John. Theres also some fear in John, since seeing your scars make your morality so clear. If you could get scars from that, imagine what others could do to you.

After some cuddling and comforting, John would tell you strictly to never do it again. You cant take him seriously though, since his usually styled hair is all mused and his eyes are pink around the edges, and, he’s pouting again.

You promise not too though, since it gets him to smile a little and cuddle you again, clinging to you as hard as he dares with his super strength. You make him vulnerable, and the Homelander part of him doesn’t like that, but the John part of him basks in it, at how human you make him feel.

Maybe hed even let slip that he had thoughts like that too, even if he couldn’t cut or burn himself like you could. That just means his self-harm shone through in more mental or extreme ways.

John builds a habit of brushing his fingers or kisses over your scars, not just the self-harm ones, but all of them. Its part to remind himself that you are so fragile, but also to remind him that you are alive and there with him.

He won’t admit this though, since its cheesy. And he grows embarrassed if you ever bring it up, making him grumble and walk away to pout. It never lasts, and he’s back not long after.

[gffa]

Your perspective on Vernestra was spot on to me. But what is wild is that that's Leslie's wife?? Like. She purposely made the character colder and CAST HER WIFE. (and let her have the hera makeup treatment of green paint bath)

Oh, I did not know Leslye Headland and Rebecca Henderson were married, that is WILD that she would cast her as Vernestra and then write her that way! I mean, not that wild that someone would cast their wife in a fun role, but it does surprise me that she chose to write Vernestra as colder than I would say she comes across as in the books. Like, yeah, of course the character is ~100 years older now, she's an adult now, she's got more responsibilities now, and maybe there will be an ending to the Nihil storyline that will explain her change, but it does feel a little wild to me that this cameo character your wife is playing wouldn't be written as a little more fun to play. Though, let's wait until Vernestra gets to use her lightsaber whip, I bet that was be AWESOME to play.

Honestly, I don't really mind that Vernestra is written as she is--aside from making me wonder how much Headland has read of the books, I have no idea if she's read just a few or all of them, not to mention I'm sure the writing for this show was written LONG before several of the later books came out--I like that a Jedi you know we're meant to like is written as a bit more formal and reserved and wanting to plan things carefully, rather than immediately act. I've liked that The Acolyte doesn't feel the need to make every Jedi "perfect", that Yord can have a stick up his ass but we still love him, Vernestra can be colder than we expect but she still cares deeply and is a wonderful person, like, yes, let Jedi just be characters! I'm enjoying that so much! Plus, I like that it kind of makes her feel like a spiritual successor/precursor to Mace Windu, the other purple saber wielder we know. He's reserved and can appear as cold to those who don't know him, but if you pay attention, you can see how deeply he cares about people, how honorable he is, how good he is. I bet they would have gotten along great, I would love to see Mace and Vernestra having tea, if she lived that long.

[ravenous-enemy]

Ranting about ACD Johnlock because these Victorian husbands need to be happy for me

What the hell happened between Holmes and Watson in 1902 and 1903?

Context: 3GAR is described as happening in July 1902, and ILLU happened in 1902. CREE and BLAN happened in 1903.

In 1902, Holmes and Watson were inseparable.

I don't even need to elaborate when I mention 3GAR. "It was worth a wound" should be enough to remind you of why. I was so touched when I read Holmes seeing his Watson injured and rushing to his side. He is terrified at the thought of losing his friend. It was amazing to read this seemingly cold, distant, and unemotional man threatening to murder the man who almost killed his best friend. There was loyalty, there was love, and it was beautiful.

According to ILLU, in 1902, they're also frequenting Turkish baths together. (which, I might add, was a common place for homosexual men to gather, do with that knowledge what you may) They're lying side by side on two couches with nothing but a blanket on either of them as they dry off. Watson hears Holmes is injured and nearly passes out, and he rushes to Baker Street to see him as soon as possible. He is terrified at the thought of losing his friend. He gingerly sits at his bedside to ensure that Holmes is okay. These are all very intimate things to do between friends. Indeed, this even suggests the possibility of the two being lovers.

IMAGINE that. These two are inseparable. Clearly, these two stories help to build on the idea that they love each other (platonically or romantically. To me, they seem romantically involved, but even as friends, they do love each other. It's all up to personal preference.) Their relationship is so strong, more than anything we have seen before. These stories showcase their love for each other and how passionate they are for each other.

Now, flash forward to 1903, when CREE and BLAN take place, and we are given an entirely different narrative. Watson describes himself as one of Holmes's "habits" in CREE, saying he felt as though he was an accessory to Holmes. Their relationship is "peculiar," and he is only called over to Baker Street as some kind of tool Holmes can talk to or use on a case. Holmes can rely on Watson, and he is, in a way, taking advantage of his reliability. Throughout the entire story, we can feel the tension between these two (remember how Watson had to stress over his practice in order to join Holmes on the case, and Holmes seemingly did not care at all). It seems partially resolved by the end, but there is still a feeling of bitterness that was fully apparent to me while I was reading it. It seemed like their interactions were angsty and passive-aggressive.

In BLAN, Watson does not even live with Holmes anymore, around a year after 3GAR and ILLU. Holmes explains he has "deserted" him for a wife, which he described as "the most selfish action I can recall in our years of association." Holmes was alone. In the story, Holmes cannot stop talking about how much he misses "his" Watson.

These four stories have such a sharp contrast. They have been absolutely terrorizing my brain a lot as of late. I feel like them being so close in ILLU, and *the* moment in 3GAR are some of their strongest moments together. They are both so terrified to lose each other. How is it that a year later, according to the canon, they are barely on speaking terms? My question is, if we are to trust the canon dates, what happened during those months that caused them to drift apart so terribly? How could Watson leave his Holmes for a wife so recently after these frightening events?

Another point about this supposed second wife. I don't think she even existed. (I do think Mary was really Watson's wife, and I might've reblogged a post about it somewhere) But about the second wife. As far as I'm aware, she's mentioned one (1) time in one (1) story by Holmes, and it was likely just a ploy by ACD to separate them (oh well, I'll just give him a wife. That'll separate them good enough.) It's easily enough ignored for that reason. Watson was, in fact, away from Baker Stret, but the idea of a wife was, in all probability, just made up by Holmes as an excuse for his absence.

I'd like to add my personal headcanon because the continuity in Sherlock Holmes is actually so messed up. John is called James in one story (TWIS, if you want to see for yourself.) October 9, 1890, is called a Saturday when it was really a Thursday (REDH) There's a story set in 1892, when Holmes was supposedly dead... etc, etc. Given the known unreliability of dates in these stories, would it be so unreasonable to suggest that the dates of the four I have talked about were swapped? That, in fact, CREE and BLAN were a falling out in their relationship and that ILLU and 3GAR was their healing? That the former were set in 1902 and the latter, in 1903? I can understand that after knowing someone and living with them for so many years, you may start to take them for granted. But after you narrowly lose them, you would not do such a thing again. (Especially not only a year after such a traumatic experience!!) Therefore, I believe CREE and BLAN were examples of how their relationship was beginning to fail and were actually set in 1902 (or some other date in the latter days of their relationship), and ILLU and 3GAR were reminders of how much they meant to each other, and they happened in 1903 (or, more simply, a year after CREE and BLAN).

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I know this is completely incorrigible and nobody's gonna read it but I just wanted to get it out there.

TL;DR: Late Sherlock Holmes canon sucks. No way that they had both near death experiences in 3GAR and ILLU, and less than a year latery they can barely stand each other in CREE and BLAN. My personal headcanon says CREE and BLAN were moments of stress in their relationship and that 3GAR and ILLU happened afterward to remind them of how much they appreciated each other and help reconcile them.

[nottapossum]

Itty Bitty Sinners 2.1💖Whatever It takes 💕🩷

Summary:

⚠️Read⚠️

This section is about Angel dust and Clara so there will be talks of PTSD, Death, Sexual assault, Bedwetting, Addiction, mental health issues, negative self image. And more. (Each chapter will have its own warnings)

Valentino is in this section...more than last time.

Diapers are also a major theme in this section. Be aware of that too.

If something is too triggering or just may be too much, you will see these emojis in sections to warn you.

⚠️: Assault happening in scene. (Probably won't be too major, but be weary)

🥀: Talking about assault.

🖤Dark themes like death

🟢: Addiction drug/Or alcohol.

⚡️: Injury.

🧷: Padding/diapers (sfw only but in case it makes you uncomfortable)

Then In the end note I will explain what happened in those scenes so you can skip them if you need to.

(I may use this in the future, because I know a some of people had to skip FKB and now I got to try and remember what happened so I can do a recap in the first chapter in MKB. Hopefully this works out and I can use it more) 

And if I need to add anything. Please Let me know. Feel free to suggest some emojis for any triggering themes for future fics.

⚠️Every trigger in this chapter is super mild. Probably have nothing to worry about. Only talks of getting assaulted, anxiety, delayed emotional response, self lothing, and injuries. ⚠️

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Okay, everyone! Let's get this trust circle started!” Charlie announced to the group with her normal overenthusiastic voice.

How can someone be so peppy all the time? It made absolutely no sense to Angel. They're in hell for christ sake!

The ‘trust circle’ She was referring to was more like a square since it was only Charlie, Vaggie, Pen, and Angel.

Husk was at the bar, cleaning some glasses, Niffty was running around bug killing, and no one could tell where Alastor was when he wasn't working! The guy seems to just disappear randomly.

“Who would like to start?” Charlie asks the group.

Pentious smiles and raises his hand. “Oh I would!” He says enthusiastically.

Angel tried not to roll his eyes.

“Pentious!” Charlie cheers. “The floor is yours.” She says, gesturing for him to step forward.

Pentious smiles and slivers closer to the center of the room so everyone could see him properly.

“Ahem.” He clears his throat. “I would like to share that these past few weeks have been the best I can ever remember. Since working with you two, I've felt happier, healthier, and I do hate myself a lot less. You both have provided a safe space for me here, and I couldn't thank you enough for that.” Pentious says, specifically to Charlie and Vaggie.

“Aw, Pen. I'm so glad things are working out so well! You've made so much progress! I'm so proud of you!” She says.

They said more… but Angel was so tired of hearing how great Pentious is all the time.

“Angel? Would you like to share?” Charlie asks.

“Nope.” Angel says simply.

“Come on, Angel.” Charlie says. “It doesn't have to be something big, it can be anything! Oh! How about your regression journal? Have you written in it at all?”

“No.” Angel answers, holding his crossed arms closer to his chest.

“Oh…okay.” Charlie says.

“Angel, come on. Please just share something?” Vaggie sighs. “You said you were going to start participating.”

Husk looks over at them, glaring slightly at Vaggie and Charlie.

“And you said this was optional!” Angel argues back childishly.

But Charlie interrupts. “It's okay!” Charlie says. “Trust can't be forced. It's perfectly okay if you don't want to share anything, Angel. It's not a requirement.”

That somehow made him feel worse than he already did…

“So, I have a project for you two to work on this week!” Charlie announces, changing the subject. “We have already talked about apologizing, so I want to focus a bit on forgiveness!”

“Forgiveness?” Pentious asks.

“Yup! I'd like you both to write a paper! It doesn't matter how long or short, it doesn't even need to be very good. But I want you to write about someone in your life that has hurt you, that you need to forgive.” Charlie explains.

“And what does this have to do with redemption?” Angel asks her.

“Redemption is working towards forgiveness for wrongdoings, if we can offer forgiveness, it's possible to receive forgiveness as well! So, think really hard about it, and you can share it with us next week.” Charlie says.

Angel felt a burning sensation in his chest.

Forgiveness.

How was that even possible here?

“Okay, you're both free to go until tomorrow.” Charlie says. “Let me know if you have any questions!”

Charlie and Vaggie collected their papers and stuff and started to put them away in the office.

Pentious grabbed a notebook to get started on the stupid assignment, but Angel couldn't think of a single person in his life who was worthy of forgiveness…

No one that he hasn't forgiven already at least.

Does she not understand the kind of people he has to see every day? They're not exactly the remorseful types.

Hell was full of the absolute worst kind of people whose motivation is focused solely on pain and suffering.

Why would anyone want to forgive anyone here!?

“Charlie! Charlie!” A small innocent voice asks.

Charlie smiles at the small bug-like sinner. “Yes, Niffty? What's up?” She asks.

“Can I do it too?” She asks. “I want to learn!”

Charlie and Vaggie smile at each other, then both back at Niffty.

“Of course, Niffty! Are you interested in redemption too?” Charlie asks her.

Niffty shrugs. “I don't know, I just want to be part of it.” She says. “It looks fun! I want to be part of the group!”

“You're always welcome to join us, Niffty.” Charlie says.

Niffty smiles as they continue to talk. She shows Charlie her regression journal and everything she has written in it so far.

And Angel’s remains blank. . .

So, even Niffty was better than he was at this.

Angel walks upstairs to his room to get away from them all…

It's not that Angel didn't feel happy for Niffty, he just didn't need to hear about how great it was that Niffty was going to get redeemed…

How great it was that they're gonna have another successful patron…

Now they have two…

How great was that?

It was so….so great.

Angel’s phone starts vibrating violently in his pocket.

…fuck.

He pulled out his phone and his heart sank at at terrifying all too familiar photo as the screen identified the caller:

‘Valentino’

Well, time to get back to reality.

~~~Past, Clara~~~~

Clara never knew how to react properly to things.

Her and Odette have always gone out during exorcisms to collect weapons for their mom, and they've always done it well.

They knew how to avoid angels, to remain unseen, and to act fast.

Well…they always knew…

...before.

But then they were cornered.

Clara remembered brief moments, only mere seconds of the event:

The shadow flying above them,

The angel appearing in front of them,

Their mother asks them if they're okay.

When recalling the events later, Odette remembered every detail, and explained it in every detail to their mother when they all made it home.

Her and her younger sister coped with stress and traumatic events the same way; Though they were very different, they were both age regressors.

Odette was a middle regressor, ranging from age 9-12.

And Clara ranged from 1-4.

Regressing was always so fun for them! Clara got to be the younger sister for once, got to relax, not worry about anything, and she wouldn't need to know all the answers to everythine all the time.

She can just be a kid! She can have some fun!

When they got back home, Odette immediately slipped, she hugged their mother tightly and explained how scary that was for her.

Carmilla, their mother hugged her and told her they were safe now and that everything was going to be alright.

Clara wanted to regress too.

She wanted to cry.

Wanted her mom to help her.

But she couldn't…

She couldn't react, no matter how hard her family tried to talk about it…nothing was processing properly!

She couldn't think about it, when they talked it just made her feel…less there.

She didn't feel much like crying.

She didn't feel like regressing.

She didn't feel anything.

Just…internally froze.

Like what she just experienced didn't happen…it wasn't…real.

She felt pain in her chest and she had an awful headache from the stress but…

No emotions whatsoever.

What's wrong with her?

She decided she'd just try and forget about it and help her mother with her sister instead.

Odette was a fairly independent little, being a middle regressor, but she always likes it when Clara was there, little or not.

They did some puzzles to keep their mind off the event, every time Odette or her mother said anything about it, Clara excused herself from the conversation, finding any excuse to do so:

‘I'm gonna get some water.’

‘I need to use the bathroom.’

‘I think I heard something outside.’

She felt so uncomfortable thinking about it…but she didn't know why.

Her mother asked her specifically if she was alright, and Clara simply nodded and brushed her off, avoiding any and all questions and conversations about it.

She focused only on working, social media, reading, anything really!

She focused on her sister, what she needed.

She just can't face what happened and how it affected her.

She just can't!

~~~Clara, Later:~~~~

The angel attack was a while ago, and Clara was fine.

Totally fine!

She doesn't stay up awake thinking about it…

Well, she didn't last night, so that was great progress!

The emotions are far more severe than before, but it's too late to react now!

She can't tell her mother she's scared of Angel's!

It was too late!

She hadn't even regressed since the attack, despite her mother's advice to do so, because she doesn't want to break down.

She can't regress until the emotions pass, and she's back to normal.

Odette was doing fine! She processed it fairly well, she's acting completely normal! Why can't she be more like her?

“Clara! Have you seen my squid? I can't find him." Her sister asks from the other room.

Well, normal for Odette at least.

“No, I haven't.” She calls back, not too loudly, only enough for Odette to hear.

Odette appeared in front of her sisters’ door to glance in her room. She hums and then walks away to continue her search. "Strange. I just had it..."

“I'm sure it's around here somewhere.” Clara says. “Did you check the kitchen?”

Odette blinks. “I was just about to.” She says in a way that told Clara that no she hadn't thought to look there yet.

She turns back to her laptop…

And when the bad emotions start to overwhelm her again, she closes her eyes and takes some deep breaths to calm herself down.

They're okay.

Her family is safe.

The Angel is gone.

And there's nothing to worry about!

Though angels continue to haunt her thoughts every day…

There's nothing to worry about, so she'll stop worrying.

….eventually.

🥀~~~Angel, Later:~~~🥀

The work day for Angel was relatively normal…

He didn't expect it to end any differently than any other miserable day.

He worked until 3:00 am filming Valentino's new film.

Something about a pizza delivery guy or…was it a mafia boss again? He's not sure.

Why do people like Mafia bosses so much?

Was it really that sexy? He didn't get it.

But maybe he's just biased.

But it doesn't matter.

It's all the same at this point…and he remembers them less and less as he keeps doing it.

With the mixture of dissociation and drugs…

It's like he's not even there anymore.

“That's a wrap everyone!” Travis announced to everyone in the studio.

“I expect everyone to be back here first thing tomorrow!" Val shouts. "Angel, did you hear that?” Valentino asks him.

“Yes, Valentino. I'll be here.” Angel promises.

Valentino smiles. “Good Boy. I expect you all to be here before noon or so help me-”

Angel didn't bother hearing the rest, he just walked out of the studio, eager to get back to the hotel to get some well deserved rest.

He was walking home tonight since he couldn't find a cab and didn't feel like calling one.

But it was fine. What's the worst that can happen?

He had a bit to walk, but it wasn't too far.

He was going straight to bed when he got back, that's no question.

If he even makes it to his bed, he may end up sleeping on the floor again.

It was a risk, but it might be worth it.

If he makes it back that is…

His eyes are already forcing themselves shut.

Ugh…shit.

Normally when they're this late, he'll just stay with Val but-

He really didn't want to risk it tonight...

He'll make it…

He'll be fine.

Just keep….going.

⚡️~~~Husk:~~~⚡️

Husk woke up to his phone going off.

Ugh! When and why did he set Angel's ringtone as this super annoying polka music?

"Angel?" Husk asks, answering the phone.

There was a delayed response: ..."Husk? That you?" He asks.

“Are you high? It's Five in the morning. Why are you calling me?” Husk asks.

Angel takes a bit to respond again. “Huh ...oh yeah, yeah I'm high. But also, I kinda need your help.” Angel says.

“What's going on?” Husk asks. "Are you alright?"

“Uhmm some guy jumped me. Idiot thought I had money, hilarious, right?” Angel asks him, chuckling.

“What? Can't you take a cab home?” Husk asks.

“Normally, yeah! That would be a great idea! Good for you but…uhm. I can't really move, my leg is sorta bending the other way, and I keep losing...ugh what's that word?" He asks. "It's like when you're not dead and aware of everything happening....Well, whatever it is, I keep losing that."

“Where are you? I'll come get you.” Husk says, getting out of bed and getting dressed as fast as he can.

“Awesome, fantastic.” Angel breathes out. "...that's great, Husk."

“Angel? Angel?” Husk asks, a little louder than his regular register but not quite shouting.

“What?” Angel asks.

“Where are you?” Husk repeats.

“Oh that! Yeah…uhm. I…” Angel breathes heavily against the phone, not giving Husk an answer.

“Angel…stay with me, please. Where are you?” Husk asks again.

“I was walking home.” He says. "From the studio...I'm not sure how far I got but..."

…

“Angel? Hey!” He called. "Can you hear me?"

…no answer.

Shit.

Husk hung up the phone and practically flew downstairs.

Husk makes it to the main room where he runs into...of course, Alastor.

Sigh.

Great.

That's just what he needed.

“Husker? You're up early.” Alastor says to him with that annoying fucking smile. "Eager to get to work?" He asks teasingly.

“I'm not in the mood, I need to go get Angel, he's hurt somewhere.” Husk tells him, not caring to react to Alastor's mockery.

“Oh dear. Well, where is he?” Alastor asks, tone more serious now.

“I…I'm not sure. But I'm going to find out.” Husk says, grabbing the first aid kit Charlie always keeps in the lobby.

Husk starts to make his way to the door.

Alastor hums. “Well…”

Husk pauses at the door to hear what Alastor has to say...

“You're going to need better transportation then.” He says.

Husk doesn't know what Alastor means by that, but decides to let Alastor lead the way.

If he didn't care about Angel, he wouldn't be too eager to receive the radio demon's help.

But he seemed to have the right idea, so he followed Al's lead.

They walk outside and Alastor summons an old-looking car from the 1920s.

"Get in, we'll drive in the direction of the studio, keep an eye out for Angel." Alastor says, staring up at the car.

"Do you even know where it is?" Husk asks him, getting into the car as he was told.

Alastor rolls his eyes. "Believe me, I do."

Husk raises an eyebrow.

“Don't ask.” Alastor says.

They start to drive in the direction of the studio, Husk's head out the window to look out for the spider.

“There he is.” Husk announced after ten minutes of driving.

Alastor stops the car and Husk hops out of the car to run to Angel.

“Angel? Can you hear me?” Husk asks, pulling the spider into his arms. "Angel?"

Alastor hums, taking a look at Angel. "He's still breathing, that's a good sign."

Husk starts to argue: “But he's-"

“He'll be fine, Husker. Let's get him bandaged up to ensure he heals properly, then get him into the car.” Alastor says. “If anything else needs to be done we can always ask Charlie for help. Surely she knows a doctor, vet, or something.”

Husk agrees, setting the first aid kit next to Angel, focusing on cleaning the dried blood on his head…

He was still so beautiful…even while laying on the floor like this.

How could someone hurt someone else this beautiful?

The injury on his head wasn't too bad, he probably just hit it on the pavement when he passed out, the worst he had was a concussion if anything.

And that will heal itself in no time.

Alastor took one of Angel's boots off to wrap up his leg. “It's broken. It'll probably take him a few days to get this back in shape.” He says.

Husk nods, turning to what appeared to be his final injury… his stomach was stabbed pretty deep. “His head is fine.” He explains. “I think stitching this up may be a good idea though.”

Alastor nods. "Need me to do it?" He asks.

Husk shakes his head and grabs the needle and thread. "No, I got it...thanks." Husk stitches him up the best he can, no way was he trusting Alastor with something this important, not if he can help it.

Alastor smiles at him like he just did something absolutely hilarious. “Alright, you lift the top of the hin, I'll try and keep his legs straight.” He says.

Husk nods. The two lift the spider and try to get him in the car.

"Husk, you need to move right!" Alastor complains.

"I am moving right!" Husk says.

"My right!" Alastor says.

“We're facing the same way!” Husk says.

"Hey, some people are trying to get some sleep, Assholes!" Someone in one of the buildings shout.

Alastor makes his weird buzzing sound. "It's five in the morning, wake the fuck up already!" He shouts.

Husk sighs, feeling like this will never end.

They do manage to get him in the car though.

They may have hit Angel's head and leg, again, and dropped him once…but he's fine. (It was all Alastor's fault, Husk decided.)

And finally, without another word from either sinner, they headed back to the hotel with no issues.

Alastor and Husk carry the spider once again to get him upstairs and to his bed.

Alastor would probably use magic, but Husk thinks he might be worried about Angel too.

Which confused him to no end, he never thought Alastor would care about another man.

"Take him" Alastor says, handing Husk is legs.

Husk readjusts his hold on Angel so Alastor can remove the top sheets of the bed to fix it.

Husk is very careful not to move too much, he wouldn't want to irritate the spider's leg more.

Fat nuggets is woken up and starts oinking at Husk, probably just worried about Angel...or he was just being a pig, Husk wasn't sure how smart they are.

When Alastor was done fixing Angel's disaster of a bed, he moves the top sheet and blanket so Husk can set him down.

He takes off Angel's other boot, deciding to leave his sock on.

Alastor then gently tucks him in, making sure he was nice and comfortable. His broken leg was elevated over the blanket on top of an extra pillow.

Fat nuggets hopped on the bed and rested by Angel's arm, nuzzling him gently, hoping he'd wake up.

"Well, that should do it." Alastor says, summoning his cain again. "I will be off then." Alastor turns to Husk. "If you're so worried, you can take a few hours off to keep an eye on him. I know how scrupulous you can be when it comes to the damnned thing." He says, rolling his eyes.

Husk wouldn't normally comment, but he turns to Alastor before the deer could leave. "Hey…uh- thanks.” He says. "For helping me out there. I'm not sure how I would have gotten him home without you."

“It was my pleasure. I do help run this hotel, it's my responsibility to take care of our patrons after all.” Alastor says, fiddling with his staff.

Husk nods. “Sure. I appreciate it either way.”

Alastor hums, obviously not knowing how else to respond. "Of course. Well, Ta-Ta." He says before he exits through his shaddow.

Husk sighs and sits down on a chair next to Angels bed...

He does have this habit of worrying about people too much...he supposed.

Caring too much about them...

He promised himself he wouldn't do this again.

Get so protective of someone that he couldn't stop thinking about them, constantly worry about them.

But while Husk was disappointed in himself for letting him care... Angel needed someone to worry about him.

Heaven knows he won't worry about himself. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

'And I don't know what we might face

But I know I can't replace you

So I'll do anything to save you

And I will try to make your dreams come true

Whatever we go through

I know I, I'll be your keeper

I'll be your armor

Whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes

I'll make the mistakes

Whatever it takes.' ~Whatever it takes, Hazbin hotel.

Possum: I'm feeling very anxious about this chapter...idk.

But I've been stuck on it and re-writing it for...what is it weeks? Idk. A while! So here it is. I hope it's better than I think it is.

If not, there's always the next chapter, which I can garentee will be better!

I'm pretty excited for it! I just had to get this one done and over with so I can keep going.

So...let me know your thoughts 😅

@todayimfour @trophyxtissues2 @abby5577 @ask-dusty-boy @im-not-paying-my-taxes @stormy-is-hyperfixated @attagirljessy @legeufygeuber100 @thatswhat24 @hinata-chan-utaitelover @babiegurlmuffin

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Fandom's Takes On Trauma Are Terrible And Here's Why: brought to you by terrible Coriolanus Snow and Anakin Skywalker discourse

I've been on the verge of making this post for a while now, but I kept not doing it because this might be a bit of a hot take and I don't like offending people. However, I've been growing increasingly annoyed with the perception of one specific character type so lets see how much my dumb opinions stir the pot this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This will be focused mainly on my current main fandom: The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes, as well as Star Wars. You'll see why. Now, I need to make it clear that I'm not judging anyone for their opinions on characters for any reason. In no way am I insinuating you're a bad person for having opinions different to mine or that you’re not allowed to have them. What I am saying is that fandoms have some frustrating and frankly insulting beliefs around trauma and those who survived it, and I'm gonna talk about it because I want to get this off my chest. With that said:

Y'all don't understand how trauma works and it annoys me

As stated in the title, I'm writing this because of the Coriolanus Snow discourse, specifically regarding whether he's a good or bad person. Lets rip off the bandaid straight away: He's a bad person. There's no question about it, Snow is a vile human being. And he's one of my favorite characters because of it. He's fantastically written and hands down one of the most realistic, viscerally terrifying yet utterly pathetic villains ever. And what I hate about the TBOSAS fandom more than anything (aside from how some of them treat the actors) is the way they take away all his agency in the story. But I'll put a pin in that because I have a lot to say about him and instead start at the beginning of my growing frustration with how fandom perceives trauma (feel free to skip through this post, I'll label my sections in case you don't wanna read this whole thing). There's two sides, and both are equally stigmatized and wrong. So lets start with the more obvious one through the lens of Anakin Skywalker.

The Star Wars Fandom's Weird Relationship With Traumatized Children Behaving Like Traumatized Children

So Anakin Skywalker AKA Darth Vader is pretty explicitly a Bad Dude who's done some Bad Things. Bro committed genocide, ain't no getting around that, except... It's a little more complicated. Sure, he did all those terrible things, but a lot of people take that to mean he was always a horrible monstrous big bad in the making who was destined to become the galaxy's worst nightmare. That's missing the whole point of the prequel trilogy, because those movies essentially serve to explain all the reasons for Anakin's descent into villainy, and he had surprisingly little hand in it. Growing up into slavery means he not only has a warped view of the galaxy thanks to all the horrors he's witnessed, it also means he lacks the teachings Jedi younglings get when they grow up in the temple. He was pawned off onto Obi-Wan who had only recently been knighted and was in no way ready to raise a child, and became "friends" with Palpatine who fed him all sorts of lies to manipulate him into becoming little more than an attack dog. Not exactly ideal circumstances for a child in their formative years. Did Anakin shirk the Jedi's rules? Yes. Did he do dumb stuff? Yes. But he was a traumatized teenager, of course he's acting out. When he massacres the Tusken Raiders, it's Padme Amidala who reassures him it was the right thing to do. He felt guilty about it, so this idea that he's some apathetic monster from the second he's born is dumb. It's not that Anakin was born wrong, it's that the people around him either failed to help him go down the right path or were actively trying to push him down the wrong one. Anakin never fully grasped the Jedi's ideals, because the person meant to teach him just wasn't equipped to do so. If he'd had someone to teach him how to get a hold of his emotions, distancing himself enough from them to make the best possible decision and helping him understand the importance of letting someone go when you have to, he wouldn't have fallen to the dark side the way he did.

Anakin did terrible things, but blaming it on him just having an evil heart shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how people's environments change who they are. A life in slavery, where he was not allowed to have anything and risked losing what he held dear at any second with no control over it likely caused him to be very possessive of what he held close to his heart once he did have some control over what he kept and lost. Shmi died because he wasn't there to protect her (in his head), so he clung to the people he loved so he could save them the way he couldn't save his mother. Palpatine actively groomed him, if you think that didn't have any effect on him I don't know what to tell you. Throughout the war, he constantly lost people he was close to. That control he had slowly starts to fade as Ahsoka leaves and he starts having dreams about Padme dying. He does everything to save her, only to find out she betrayed him (in his mind, a thought quite likely influenced by PTSD as well). I can tell you that believing one of the few people you trust has betrayed you can make you act very impulsively. Anakin made an impulsive decision and regretted it for the rest of his life. He wasn't born a monster, the world turned him into one.

However, that does not excuse his actions. It explains them and spreads the blame to more people, but his actions are still his actions. Anakin separated himself from his past because of all the pain it brings him, and in doing so he did a lot of bad things. And he still needed to face consequences for those actions, even if the events that led up to them aren't necessarily on him entirely. If he'd gotten therapy, he wouldn't have choked Padme to death. Possibly he wouldn't have attacked the temple. But he didn't, and he did all those things trauma or not. I have major issues with the way some Anti-Anakin parts of the Star Wars fandom insist on ignoring or writing off his trauma, but that doesn't mean I'm absolving him of all guilt.

An explanation is not an excuse, and that sentiment brings us to the reason for this little rant:

Coriolanus Snow's defenders have a habit of infantalizing trauma survivors and I wish they would stop

Oh Snow, how your amazing character completely flew over the heads of most of your loyalest fans. I'm joking, obviously, but also... It's not exactly wrong. Now, I need to make this clear: I'm not insulting Snow fans here. I'm kind of one of them (I hate his guts but I love how he was written, it's a love hate relationship). However, the way people talk about his trauma... I'll be honest, it's kind of sickening for reasons I'll talk about later after getting through the technical(?) stuff. Where the way people view Anakin disgusts me, the way people treat Snow disturbs me. Because people view The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes as if it's some typical tragic villain backstory that humanizes and in some ways justifies who he became, to show what changed him from a normal person into a monster. It's not. It actually shows that Snow has always possessed the traits that made him the monster we know from the OG series. What it does is explain why specific things were so important to him and how he grew to lose all redeeming qualities, letting the worst aspects of his personality grow and take over until it's all there's left of him.

What made Snow do stuff like poison political adversaries and constantly beat down the districts so they don't rebel? A thirst for power. A thirst he's always had, born from the feelings of entitlement he held thanks to his family's previous status. He deserves that power in his mind, so he'll do anything to get it. Power, control, and influence are his driving motivators. It's at the back of his mind throughout TBOSAS, and by the time he becomes a gamemaker it's the only motivation he has left. Those traits, the things that pushed him to do what he did, they were always there. There was just more stuff to cover it up. Stuff that fell away with time. Snow is a terrible person, but people pretend he's some poor misunderstood baby who just needed a hug because... why? Because he has trauma. And that's the root of the problem. Does he have trauma? Absolutely. He survived a war, he lost his parents, struggled through poverty while being raised by propaganda from the Capitol and was arguably groomed by Gaul. Sound familiar? It's kind of like Anakin. Horrible childhood filled with loss, less than amazing figures raising him and grooming. Except people use the opposite argument for him which is equally wrong: he's traumatized, so we cannot blame him.

Yes we can.

Trauma does not justify your actions. It might explain them, but you are still accountable for your own actions. Snow murdered people, starting with Bobbin, and every single time it was his choice to do so. It doesn't matter why he made that choice, because he still did it. He ruined countless lives and ended nearly as many, both directly and indirectly. No amount of trauma justifies that. I've seen people claim he's just an anxious young boy who's a poor victim of circumstance, and anyone who doesn't believe so is simply unable to separate the actions of an 80-something-year-old from the 18-year-old, but... No. That's one of the most braindead takes I've ever heard, I'm sorry. Snow hadn't committed the crimes of his older self yet, but the behaviors he shows in TBOSAS are the ones that led him to doing so later on and ignoring that is just stupid. I don't need to judge Snow based on his later actions to call out how fucked up he was in TBOSAS. Again, he chose to murder several people and deluded himself into believing he was justified. That's what makes him a great character. Bad people always believe, on some level, that they're doing the right thing. It's fascinating. But people take his words at face value when he says he's doing the right thing, and the whole point is that he's wrong. He's lying to himself. Because that's what people do sometimes. Snow's family was knocked off its throne, and Snow clung to the idea that the districts are beneath him and at fault to cope with that. He deluded himself into believing Gaul's dumbass theory to justify continuing the games.

It's the exact opposite of Anakin Skywalker: Trauma is relevant, it does inform your perspective on the world and your actions, but it does not mean you can do no wrong. Snow had every chance to be a good person: Knocking Bobbin out or running away instead of murdering him, joining the rebellion with Sejanus, staying in district 12 with Lucy Gray and being honest with her. But he killed Bobbin. He fucked over the rebels and got Sejanus killed. He lied to Lucy Gray and destroyed any chance he had with her. Every chance he got, he threw into the fire without hesitation. Anakin leaned into being a bad person to forget the past, Snow chose to be one because it benefitted him the most. Neither of them are excused because of their trauma, their descent into villainy is simply explained. You know why? Because both of them created new victims. Snow was complicit in the murder of hundreds of children before becoming responsible for thousands more, he killed people with his own hands and ruined several lives over the course of TBOSAS. All that pain he caused isn't erased because we can explain why it happened. Even at 18, Snow has many things he should be held accountable for. War, being an empoverished orphan, being groomed, none of that nullifies the shit he's done. People who say Snow's just an anxious, young, traumatized boy are one side of the horseshoe theory of the myth of "the perfect victim". The "Anakin's Trauma Should Be Ignored Entirely" crowd are the other side. Which brings us to...

It's all horseshoe theory

To conclude the analytical part of my post, I'll bring it back to what I briefly mentioned in the intro to all of this. Agency. That's the running thread here. Both in cases like Anakin and cases like Snow, the fandom takes away all agency a character has in the story for the sake of justifying one's feelings about them. Anakin was born a monster and he was always destined to be evil. It wasn't the trauma, it wasn't the events of the story, he's just bad. On the other hand, Snow is a good person who was made to do terrible things by his trauma. It's all the trauma and nothing else. His bad childhood caused him to be this way and it has nothing to do with his own worst personality traits. See the connection? In both these instances, the characters had no influence over who they became. With Anakin, nothing could've had any influence because he's just born wrong. With Snow, it's everything around him that shaped him into who he was. Both scenarios completely ignore the character and focus on external factors to explain everything. One demonizes trauma victims by saying those that went off the rails are just bad people and there's nothing to be done about it, the other infantilizes trauma survivors by saying they shouldn't be held accountable for their actions just because they have trauma and it's only when they're older and should know better that we can bring consequences down on them.

Victims of trauma should be held accountable, though. The only thing the presence of trauma should change is what kind of accountability. Merely locking them up won't change anything, they should receive help to work through their problems while residing in a place where they cannot hurt anyone else. Including themselves. That is what acknowledging trauma is useful for. But this? This is doing nothing but stigmatizing trauma survivors even more than they already are, and I hate it. And you wanna know why I hate it? Because I've been both sides of this horseshoe, and it nearly got me killed.

The part where I talk about my Tragic Backstory(TM) to explain why this bothers me so much

This'll be a little heavy, so while I'm not gonna go into detail I advise you to please be careful. If you're not in the headspace to handle talk about actual real life mental health issues, feel free to stop reading here. I'm putting this at the end for a reason. If you really wanna know why people's perspective on Snow disturbs me but don't wanna risk getting triggered, skip to the last bold line in this post.

Without going into detail, I've dealt with some pretty big mental health issues throughout my life. One of them is PTSD, so believe me when I say I understand that trauma can heavily influence one's actions in ways even they don't understand. But I had to learn the hard way that there's a difference between explaining and excusing. I used to believe that, because of my previous experiences, I was entirely justified in doing what I was doing. Kind of. At that point, I didn't know that what I was experiencing was PTSD, but I did feel justified in my actions the same way Snow does. I explained every bad thing I did away and wrote it off as nothing or sometimes even as a good thing. Granted, I never did anything as big as committing murder, but I don't live in a country as dark and horrible as Panem so we'll chalk it up to that. As I grew older, I started to recognize the ways in which I accidentally hurt the people around me, and eventually had the realization that my past does not in fact justify the pain I was causing people entirely uninvolved in what happened to me. They had nothing to do with that, and shoving all my pain onto them the way I did was wrong. My view of myself pivoted to the other side of the horseshoe. If I'm not justified, am I... am I bad? Am I evil? Am I just born wrong?

I don't know how to explain this to anyone who hasn't gone through this themself, but that is a horrible feeling to have. To feel like you're just bad and there's nothing you can do about it... It kills something inside of you. A hope, a will to keep going and keep trying. Why bother when you cannot be fixed? I've lost the will to live at two points in my life, and that was one of them. And now I get to see both of these mentalities be repeated by dumbasses who don't understand the first thing about trauma. It's... not fun. It's grating and aggravating in a way I can't accurately bring across with just my words. It makes me wanna scream and laugh hysterically until I cry.

Here's the thing: I relate to Snow, and the way people perceive him disturbs me on a visceral level.

As I said, I justified my own bad behavior the same way he does. I convinced myself I was a blameless poor victim who had no hand in their actions. But just like Snow, I did. Not nearly as much as I would have liked, but I did. I learned to control the defensive mechanisms my trauma gave me, and I grew from it. Seeing people defending Snow with the same arguments that kept me from ever getting over what happened to me, crying out that he's just traumatized so none of it's his fault... it disturbs me. Because they're outsiders who should be able to see the pain he caused others and realize that nothing changes the fact that he did that. But they don't. They're me, without any of the personal stakes that kept me trapped in my own delusions. It's all just fiction, and I know that, but it hits just a little too close to home for my comfort. It's a little too raw and a little too real for me to just let it go and move on again like I always do.

I'm sorry for the rant, I didn't mean to make this post this long but I guess I hope you find something of interest in here that made it worth reading? Have a nice day 💜

[brucewaynehater101]

There's this fic I read a long time ago while I was obsessed with tcf's fics, where OG!Cale's personality is suspiciously a lot friendly but it turns out that he actually died a while ago and Deruth trapped his soul in there or something. OG!Cale reaches out to Rok Soo, begging on his knees (HE CALLS OUT FOR RON!!), but then his body rebooted and he was back to his sus pleasant personality.

SO IT GOT ME THINKING. CRAVING. PLOTTING.

Wouldn't it be so nice if we used that manipulation technology that Bruce used on Jason? But combine it with some time-travel and Bruce uses it on Jason earlier before he debuts as Red Hood?

I want Tim, the person Jason was going to use as a lesson towards Bruce, to find Jason this way. He gets a few days of happiness, being with Jason. But fanon stalker instincts tell Tim that there is a whole lot that wasn't right with the past few days as well.

Although I also want some angst caused by Dick's denial, I think he would instantly believe Tim if he explained that Jason feels off. And that's why, I think Bruce never tells Dick about Jason coming back to life (like he never told Dick about when Jason died) conveniently also still off on some mission.

Tim, who had been (self appointedly) in charge of making Bruce's support group, makes the decision to crush it. By solely starting with Alfred.

He needs verbal confirmation on whether the old man is truly on his side or not.

So he tells him.

And Alfred, sweet old Alfred. The one who gave Tim the Robin suit in the first place. The one who enabled not only Bruce's bad habits but also Tim's own. The one who is either on Bruce's side or none at all.

Alfred weeps. And admits that he's known all this time.

And that's what's horrible.

"Jason admired you," Tim would tell him. "He loved you and followed your advice to heart.

"And you just. Let it all happen? He's probably waiting for you to notice! Because other than Bruce, you're the second person who's been there for him the whole time he stayed here!"

Tim looks at him in disgust.

"How could you?"

Without waiting for a reply, he leaves.

He takes Jason with him.

And then, he goes for the second person part of Bruce's support group who can very much ruin Bruce's life just as easily.

He takes Jason to Babs.

Oof! Time travel angst with the brain altering would be fantastic. Though, is Bruce the one who time travels, then? He, after already deciding to do that to Jason once, goes back in time and writes off the kid (especially if this is before Red Hood debuted and thus Jason would be max 18 years old). No talking to Jason, no effort, just Bruce going to the extreme.

Damn. Let's just keep building this fuckery up, shall we?

So, the symbolism of Tim taking Babs' support from Bruce away is fantastic. Before Tim got involved, Bruce was practically by himself. Babs had her own independence away from Bruce as Oracle and Dick was still fighting with Bruce (for good reasons).

After Tim finds out that Bruce did such fucked up shit? He pulls that man's support from him so fast. Also, Tim, who made his entire Robin career based on needing to pull Bruce from becoming a monster, does he end up feeling like a failure? Does he blame himself? Does he still tediously try to stop and fix Bruce?

Since it's probably before his 16th birthday, I think he wouldn't have the understanding of how cruel Bruce can be. This reveal is such a shock and hurts way more because Tim never thought Bruce could pull that shit against his children.

Despite his complicated feelings, Tim works to reverse the shit Bruce did to Jason's head.

This leads to Jason reverting back to his previous mental state. The man is traumatized by what Bruce did and begrudgingly thankful for Tim's assistant, but he still hates Tim's guts. He despises him.

After the days, weeks, whatever it took for them to reverse it, this is not the reaction Tim was expecting. Jason had been constantly scared, but he was also kind and affectionate to Tim. Seeing Jason become better yet hateful of Tim, especially after Tim had betrayed his mentor to do it? Damn.

Extra angst to be added on would be Bruce, after he realizes that Tim had betrayed him, goes to pick up Damian early. He needs a Robin, afterall, and he can't trust Tim.

This would make Damian max 8 at this age and thus the youngest Robin to hit the streets (I think) (Bruce is a horrible person in this AU, ig. Fuck that guy).

[fertilize-my-eggs]

The night stalker ch.1

A03

A/N: the first chapter is base on my dream a few days ago so I believe it's was sleep paralysis demon that I was having but this give me the idea for this chapter :3

Blinking the tiredness away as I curl into a ball, the soft warmth touches on my delicate skin. I turn over for the fresh air of the ac as I sigh quietly.

I blink away to see a dark figure near my bed as I stare at it a bit. It's holding what I assume is a small gray camera but it's suddenly disappeared before I get to look at it a little longer. I think my mind was playing tricks as I turned over and didn't think much about it.

I curl over as I pull the blanket over my face, it's a bit unnerving to see something like that out of a horror movie in real life. I should stop watching those true crimes on YouTube as I doze off into sleep.

It was a bright beautiful morning as I stretched out my arms, I yawned out loud as I rub my eyes a bit.

Living in Japan by myself feels refreshed but I miss my home life in my country as I get up to start my early breakfast.

I put my thumb on my lips as I think, I need to study for my college about speaking Japanese and its culture. I smile softly as I play with my hair, I put it into a messy bun.

As I head into the living room to turn on the television for news, I feel a bit isolated about being alone in this apartment but I always thought Japan was such a beautiful place and also it was time for me to start a new chapter for my journey as a foreigner woman.

I begin to prep the potato as I peel it, I look over to see the weather lady talking about a nice sunny day as I smile. It's gonna be nice weather as I wash the peeled potatoes.

It's cut to a news man explaining about an unwanted criminal as I cut it into small pieces.

An unwanted criminal? As I pause the cutting as I begin to look at the TV.

“ an unknown male in his early 20s has been breaking and entering houses, murdering anyone who lives in it. ” I gasp as I hear him speak about the location as I bite my lips, it's close by where I live. It's hard to make out what he is saying since I'm still learning Japanese but he said.

“ The man goes by the night stalker, make sure to lock everything, your windows and doors at night time. ” I tilt my head as I think, it can't be what I saw last night about a dark figure hovering over my bed… no I think it was playing tricks on me.

“ We talked to one of his victims as they explained what he looked like. ”

“ There is a rough sketch of what we assume the criminal looks like. ” it's show a man that has shaggy short hair, sharp eyes, mole and large scar near his lips.

“ If you see this man, call the police immediately!! He is dangerous. ” I slowly realized I was holding my breath as I put my hand on my chest feeling like I couldn't breathe.

I blink fast as I turn it off, the night stalker… he sounds like something that will bring hell his way if you look at him wrong.

I walk away to start the food, I begin to think about it. Hopefully I don't run into him, I shouldn't be worried about this, I'm supposed to enjoy my day.

The meal looks a bit okay but I'll still eat it anyway, I put it down on the plate as I sat down to eat quietly.

I hum about the taste as I put my fingers on my face as I think. Don't think about it, maybe it won't ruin your day.

Suddenly I get a loud bing as I pull my phone out as I read the message.

(#1 bff asshole): hey you awake smiley?

I narrowed my eyes at his message. Katsuki bakugou was my first friend that I made when I came to Japan. We started out as online friends just joking around and now I live in Japan, he wants me to join him in college with his friends as I smile.

The nickname was a bit cheesy as I giggle at it, I remember when we first did a video call he was intimidating when I first saw him but he was a bit polite and he noticed off the bat that I smile too much or whenever I make dumb jokes often so bakugou was blunt in conversation and so smiley was his nickname to me.

(Me): yeah!! I'll be here in bit, gotta eat my breakfast :>

(#1 bff asshole): well hurry up I don't have all day smiley.

Grumpy asshole as I groan at the message.

(Me): hey you… hear about the news today? About an unwanted criminal called night stalker…apparently he's around my location..

There was a long pause as I finished my meal, I got up to clean the dishes a bit.

I walk back towards the phone as the screen lights up.

(#1 bff asshole): … yeah. Are you okay? Do you want me to protect you and be your hero? Don't fall for me tho ;)

I roll my eyes at this as I puff out air.

(Me): eww gross… but in all seriousness, yeah just a bit, I wouldn't mind the others coming to my apartment for a few days.

I close my phone as I begin to head into my room to get dressed, a simple casual outfit would be nice.

I grab my clothes to wear as I bolt to the restroom to take a quick shower.

The water feels nice on my skin as I sigh in relief. I jumped out, quickly dried my hair and did a bit of makeup.

A cute white skirt with a large pink sweater to keep me warm, white leggings and a small bag that looks like a cat.

I quickly get my keys and wallet as I head out to meet bakugou.

Today is gonna be my day and I'll enjoy it with my new friends!!

I stand outside as I begin to lock the door and start to walk away to the fresh air of japan.

[bagerfluff]

Roses Remind Me Of You

Casper x Non-Binary Reader

Prompt - Flowers

Why was this so hard!

It shouldn’t be, really. All you needed to do was find some flowers for Casper. It was Valentine's day tomorrow so you thought that you should get Casper some flowers.

He had done the same for you, every time the sunflowers got a little droopy you’d see new ones in the vase just a few days later.

You loved them, it was the first time you’ve gotten flowers. So you fingered that Casper would like flowers too, something told you that he has never gotten flowers either.

One problem though, which type of flowers to get him.

You were currently in a flower shop that was a few blocks from your apartment. You were looking at all of the flowers and reading a sign that told you what the flower’s meant.

After reading the sign you decided that you wanted roses. You knew that they were simple, a staple of valentines day. But they were perfect. They symbolized love and beauty, that explained how Casper looked and how you felt about him.

Of course, that’s what red roses mean.

You didn’t like red roses, they were pretty sure, but they were a statement. Plus, they didn’t scream Casper, they didn’t remind you of him.

Casper had gotten you sunflowers because they reminded him of you. You wanted something that reminded you of Casper. But you’ve had yet to find a flower that reminded you of Casper.

They all looked pretty but nothing was good enough. It was also getting late, you had texted and told him that work went late and that you’d be late.

But you knew that if you were gone too long that Casper would start looking for you. You groaned and ran a hand through your hair. Why was this so hard?

You took out your phone, it was getting late. You sighed, placing your phone back into your pocket, after an hour and nothing. You felt saddened by your failed mission.

You turned around and were about to walk out of the shop when something caught your eyes. You stopped walking towards the door and walked towards the flowers.

You felt the air leave your lungs at the flowers you found. They were white roses with red tips. The end of each petal was dyed red. It was beautiful.

Plus they reminded you of Casper, the white for his hair and the red for his eyes. You reached a hand forward and held a petal in between your fingers.

You smiled, “hey excuse me, how much for a bouquet”.

You held the flowers in your hands.

You smiled, they were perfect. Though they were a little expensive, it was worth it. It was worth it for Casper. You brought a free hand up to knock on the door.

You knew you didn’t have too, but you wanted to surprise Casper. You knocked three times before going back to holding the bouquet with both hands.

A few seconds later the door opened, relieving Casper. Casper was about to say something but he stopped when he noticed the flowers. You held them towards him with a smile on your face.

“There for you, happy early valentines day”, you said.

Casper stared at the flowers, his face turning red. “Th-Thank you”, Casper said. Casper reached forward and took the flowers from you. “But I must ask, why?”

Casper said, looking at you. You shook your head. “Valentine's day is tomorrow so I got you flowers. You got me flowers so I thought I'd get you some. Those roses remind me of you”, you explained.

Walking into your apartment and closing the door behind you. You took off your shoes and hung up your coat. Casper walked past you, placing the flowers in a vase you had bought a few days ago.

Casper had wondered why you bought it, guess now he has his answer. “They remind me of you?” Casper said, not knowing how white roses with red tips could remind you of him.

“Well look at them”, you walked over and stood behind Casper, wrapping your arms around his waist. You placed your head on his shoulder, looking at the flowers.

“The white reminds me of your hair, white and soft”, you touched the petal with your finger. Casper followed, the petal did feel soft and a little rough.

Casper watched as your hand pulled away from the petal and move away. Then he felt your hand play with the ends of his hair. “The red reminds me of your eyes, sharp and deep”, you said.

Casper stared at the red, it was dark, it did remind him of his eyes. You turned Casper around, staring into his eyes. Casper blushed deeper and glanced away from you.

Casper felt your hand move away from his hair and wrap around his waist with your other arm. “See, they remind me of my babygirl”, you said sweetly.

Casper glared at you, “don’t call me that”, Casper said, despite the butterflies gathering in his stomach after you said that. “Okay, but I’m right. They remind me of you”, you said and Casper nodded.

They reminded Casper of himself. They also made Casper feel weird, this was the first time Casper’s ever gotten flowers. He felt giddy almost, Casper wanted to smile widely and gush over the fact that you got him flowers.

Was this how you felt when Casper got you flowers? If so, that just made Casper feel even better because he made you feel like this. “Thank you, they look beautiful.

That’s another reason why they remind you of me”, Casper said with a smirk. You shook your head, “yes, of course, my beautiful babygirl”, you said teasingly.

Casper shoved you away and walked out of your grasp. Casper crossed his arms and glared at you from the corner of his eyes.

You just let out a laugh and walked away to change. Casper watched as you left and looked at the flowers. Casper smiled as he watched them.

Turns out Casper loves getting flowers.

[lianaloverr]

Friends

Colby Brock x Fem!reader

ᜊ

Summary: It’s been 4 months since you broke up, and Colby just can’t seem to move on..

Warnings: past relationships, Colby cheating in said past relationship, Cussing, Angst

Word count: 1.4k

Hii guys! New banner, new story. This is my first story where I’ve really switched the pov’s around, so I hope you enjoy! btw, on Colby’s pov, (first) means first person.

The song "Friends" by Chase Atlantic is about the feeling of longing for a past relationship that has ended.

Y/n’s pov:

It had been 3 months since you guys broke up. You and Colby dated for a year and a half and it was torture. you put everything into that relationship, and in return, Colby did nothing. And after you found out he cheated with multiple different girls, you got into a heated argument.

This ended with you getting slapped in the face and Colby leaving. A day after, you packed all of his stuff he left at your apartment and gave it to his bestfriend, Sam. Sam was a little confused at first because he got on the phone with Colby the night of and nothing seemed wrong. When you explained, Sam was furious. he asked if you were okay and you said yes, but you lied.

You were hurting inside, Colby never seemed like the type to hit. He proved you wrong.

Colby’s pov (first):

God, I miss you, is what I wrote in my 1000th text message I knew I wasn’t gonna send. I can’t grasp the feeling of her gone. “Hey Colby, whatcha doing?” Sam says, barging in my room. “Nothing” I reply coldly. Sam gives me a look, then speaks. “Are you still thinking about her? It’s been 3 months.” Sam states. I hate how he can just read my mind.

“I know Sam, I just miss her so much.” I reply. “Well;” Sam stops his sentence to sit down. “You fucked up, and you can fix that if you really try. Instead of just sitting here crying and wishing she’ll come running back.” Sam finishes. “Sam, that’s the most realest thing you’ve ever said.” I say, half joking. But I wasn’t it was, it was what i needed to do.

𝟣 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋

Y/n pov:

Your at an influencer party hosted by your mutual. It was pretty cool. They had drinks and games everywhere. You stuck around with your other mutual Tarayummy. She asked you a question that made you rethink your entire life.

“Do you think Colby’s gonna be here?” you immediately froze. You didn’t think of that. You could barely the thought of seeing his face after all this time. He broke you so much. After the breakup, you started cutting, and haven’t been able to stop since. You knew if you could make peace with him, but you couldn’t.

You could stand face to face with the guy who ruined you. Also, when he told his fans that you guys broke up, you were sent death threats from is fans because they thought you broke up with him. You genuinely wanted to, but you held on for hope, and you’re still trying to find it.

Colby’s pov (first):

I just pulled up to this influencer party with Sam. I have no idea who’s hosting it, I just got a random invite to my phone. I see people out in the front yard wasted. Some of them throwing up. I feel bad for the guy who lives here.

When I walk into the house, I just see people having fun, something I haven’t done in a while. Then it crosses my mind, what if Y/n’s here? Thinking of that immediately made me jump. Just the thought of her being there made me so happy. I’ve longed to see her again. After the breakup, she blocked me on everything. I wasn’t able to be the “stalker ex”. I haven’t seen her face in forever, so knowing she could possibly be at this party brings me joy. Maybe I could finally apologize.

Searching for her felt like I was looking for a needle in a haystack. But it didn’t make me feel all that lazy, there were well over 100 people at this party. all i wanted was to find her, and tell her how much i miss her. I miss us. I’ve been stuck in the same place of too long, and all my friends are waiting for of me to move on. But I can’t.

Y/n’s pov:

All night you hoped you wouldn’t see him. You couldn’t do that again. Even if you wanted to get back with him, he never took the relationship seriously. You concluded he wasn’t ready for one.

While walking down the halls you see someone that made you rethink your life again. It was Colby. You were starstruck but quick enough to turn around in hopes he didn’t see you. “Damn.” you thought, you ain’t going through secluded area anymore. Proven to be bad luck.

“Y/n.” you heard a soft voice coming from the end of the hallway. While in the middle of thought, you just decide to talk to him, whats the worst that could happen?

“yes?” you respond quietly. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” he says, on the verge of tears. When he says that, all you could do was stare. The person you were so in love with, and who just left you with no hesitation, can’t move on. You honestly weren’t surprised. Colby has always had attachment issues, but never had a problem going out to parties and having bitches in his bed.

Colby’s pov (first):

I’m still searching for Y/n. This house is too big to be looking for one person. out the corner of my eye, I see Tara. I always knew her and Tara were close so if she was here, Tara would know where she was. “Hey Tara,” I start. “Oh hey Colby! Long time no see.” she smiles and pulls me into a hug. “Yeah it has, but anyway;” I rush to get her off of me. She just looks at me a little irritated and confused, but she listens. “Have you seen Y/n? Is she here?” I ask, eager to know. “Woah slow down buddy, I don’t even think she wants to see you.” She tells me.

“What do you mean?” I frowned. “I don’t know, when i mentioned you to her she just went pale and walked off.” she explains. “Dude, you must’ve really fucked up.” Tara laughs. “Yeah I did, and i’m trying to fix it. Where did she walk to?” I ask, once again. “Uhhh she went overrrr…” she scans the room. “Oh! She went over to that empty corridor over there.” she finished. I didn’t even thank her, I just rushed to the corridor in hopes of finding her.

I stop at the entrance and I see her. She’s walking down kinda fast. As soon as she sees me, she turns around to walk the other way. This broke my heart, she really doesn’t want to see me. I build up the courage to say

“Y/n.” I call out. She stops dead in her tracks, I bet a million things are going on in her head. “yes?” she responds quietly. My heart skips a beat. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” I say, on the verge of letting a river out of my eyes. She turns around then, and I can see that beautiful face I fell in love with, that i’m still in love with.

Y/n pov:

“What do you want to say?” you question, but not very curious because you knew he was gonna give you some bs story. “Y/n i’ve missed you so much. Ever since I left and didn’t get to apologize, I broke-“ “Are you fucking serious?” you ask.

He looks at you with confusion. “You had 4 months. 4 month to try and reach out to me. I know I have you blocked on everything but you could’ve came to my apartment, or you could’ve tried Sam’s phone.” you state. “I-I know I could’ve, but when the time came I would’ve did that.” he lies. “But you didn’t. You left me, no goodbye or anything and you expect me to hear you out? You killed me, everything in me. I can’t go through that again.”

“Wait Y/n please let me explain-“. “No, if listen to you more, i’m gonna punch you in the face. You have to move on. You have to understand I was wronged in that relationship, I just can’t do that a second time.” you say, with tears spilling out your almond shaped eyes. At this point Colby was crying so hard. “Y/n please-“. “Goodbye Colby.” you conclude, and walk out the corridor.

I hope you guys liked it! I really enjoyed writing this but it all happened while something crazy happened. Helped me keep calm:)

Masterlist

[pinkdreamcollectorsworld]

Hello! I'm sorry for not getting to this post earlier, life's been crazy the last week hahaha (adulting, ya know?)

I watched the finale and boy howdy it had me in my feels 😅😅

If you haven't watched it yet, this is a post that definitely contains spoilers so read at your own risk!

Wanted to start off with some of the plots that stood out to me the most. these are just my thoughts and opinions/ feelings so please be nice in the comments. I kinda wanted this to be a discussion post for anyone interested.

Bobby- he lived! I'm so so so glad he was okay, i lowkey thought we were losing him. He's honestly one of my personal faves so idk how I would have felt if he didn't make it 😭😭 I also just wanted to point out, he literally quit, almost died, and then walked into the station like nothing happened. I cannot wait to see how the team is going to handle him quitting and literally not saying anything before everything went down. Like was he just planning on not telling them at all?? Also, in terms of what his plan was, honestly broke my heart. He DESERVES the life he built. He DESERVES the family he built. And the scene with him and Amir just.... ugh. Amir might not forgive him but I wasn't expecting him to tell Bobby he earned the right to a life and family despite what happened. His montage at the beginning of last episode BROKE ME.

Athena- Homegirl was out for BLOOD! Look, I love athena, but she literally misuses her job for personal gain and expects no consequences😭 both her and Bobby have been through SO MUCH these last few seasons. In terms of Amir, I think they just needa let the man live his life. Yes, her being there pretty much saved him from the cartel, but guys, she ate her words by pulling a gun on him. Im not sure what season she says it but she tells someone that it is in fact considered assault when you point a gun at someone. Angela Bassett performance this episode was 10/10, probably one of her best performances so far imo

Hen & Karen- omgggg these two I tell you. They can't catch a break😭😭 the way they lost Mara simply because a councilwoman was on a power trip just had me in TEARS. They deserve to have Mara in thier life, no matter what. I think they are good for her. She's good for them and Denny. I hope we get to see thier story progress more next season.

Maddie&Chim- THESE TWO! The fact that they were there when Hen got the call about Mara and were the ones who got her out of the group home just does something to my heart ngl. I literally love them both so much. They are so so kind and caring about the people in thier life.

Eddie& Chris- this is the one that truthfully really made me question some things. Eddie really, REALLY needs to talk to someone. The whole thing with Kim just, makes me feel icky. Did not like that little subplot one bit. I understand that Kim was simply trying to help, but I honestly think it made things so so much worse. Especially when Chris and Marisol walked in the door at the end of the moment. Chris literally stood there, and said "Mom?" He's traumatized for life. I honestly agree with his decision to call his grandparents. Little guy just needs a break. He needs space. His dad is going through something that he as a CHILD shouldn't have to endure as well. I know some people hate that Chris called the grandparents, and I know that Eddie really didn't want to let Christopher go but he needed to.. even if he didn't want to.. I think Eddie is going to be going through it next season and I can't wait to see what they do with him next season.

Buck- Buck, Buck, BUCK theres so much that I loved about him this episode. The fact that he showed up for Eddie and Chris and said "what can I do" I just... *chefs kiss* He showed up and said "I can't explain this to your kid but I will make damn sure he's okay" and DID. He made sure that Chris was okay, and on top of that made sure Eddie was also okay. And when the grandparents showed up, even though he couldn't convince Chris to stay, he didn't try to get any more involved than was necessary. You can see on his face that he's sad about Chris wanting to leave, but understands. He's sad for Eddie and put his hand on his shoulder to say, "I'm sorry, but im here for you". In my opinion, Buck has grown so so much since the first season and he's become another one of my favs.

Buck&Tommy- (I felt they needed thier own little section) I love what the actors, showrunners and writers are doing with this. Tommy and buck are in a HEALTHY, STABLE, relationship. It might have started out just a little rocky, but they've built on it and each other and im HERE FOR ITTTT! The vulnerability between the BOTH of them about thier own fathers/ father figures when Tommy asked buck if he was okay really proved that they are at the point in the relationship that they can open up to each other, and that Tommy cares. They know how to read each other. In terms of the daddy issues topic, im glad that queer, MASCULINE MEN are shown in a proper, HEALTHY, SHAMELESS sexual relationship. Buck opened the door by flirting and tommy picked it right up and im here for it. There wasn't anything "weird" or "out of left field"about it, Buck wanted to see if Tommy could match his freak and he DID! I genuinely hope they grow next season and give us more insight into thier relationship dynamic.

I also just wanted to point out, Cap literally told Buck "hes good for you, because we haven't had to talk about it" like what other proof do people need to see that they are a good match? Literally every other relationship buck has had, has ended in disaster. I don't think there was a partner he had that didn't warrant a discussion between him and Cap before Tommy came around.

The team all together- the fact that they all dropped everything to be there for Cap and athena really shows that they are a family.

Captain Gerrard- not much to say, not surprised that they brought him back, next seasons gonna interesting. Still a POS in my book no matter WHAT they do with his character.

All in all I loved the season finale. I loved that they wrapped up most of the major storylines to open the door for a new one (captain Gerrard return to the 118)

Thanks for reading if you stayed through this jumbled mess!

[stevesjockstrap]

It’s finally Summer Exchange time bbs!@steddieonmywaywardson I hope I did your prompts justice :)

Part 1/2

Corroded Coffin Tattoo gets a new client that shakes up their summer.

Read on ao3 • Rated E • eventual steddie, platonic stobin, Corroded Coffin bros, Chrissy/Argyle mentioned, modern era, no UD, everyone ends up in Cali, slow burn (for me), inadvisable tattooing procedures, smut in part 2

Many thanks to the invaluable @fuctacles for fact checking and betaing my overzealous imagination and @lawrencebshoggoth for always hyping me up and dealing with my annoying self 🖤

Eddie looked down at his iPad calendar with a sigh. Three mainstream boring designs back to back. They paid the rent but he wished he could get to a point where he was tattooing what he actually wanted.

But then there was a consultation with a new client. Steve Harrington had met Argyle at a pool party and had apparently got drunk enough to show off his ‘wicked scars.’ Argyle immediately suggested Eddie to tattoo over them.

Getting the first message from a random Instagram asking about his availability and experience in covering scars had shocked him until the person explained. Scrolling through the stranger’s posts had been even more confusing. In most of his pictures he was either wrapped around a very cute — but obviously very gay — girl, or she was tagged as the photographer of the picture. Her page was much of the same, better edited pictures of them from the same day.

They’d gone back and forth with ideas (and banter) for almost a week in his Instagram DMs before Steve made the appointment. Had actually called the shop (no one did that) and asked about Eddie’s schedule. Argyle looked at him like he had three heads when he asked him to transfer the call to his office.

On the phone, Steve had been a bit more professional but somehow warm and friendly even talking about mundane things like his work schedule and Eddie found himself not wanting to hang up. Steve had asked specifically about one of Eddie’s favorite pieces, an eerie take on a harpy with disintegrating wings and an eagle skull for a face. Before he knew it, Eddie was pacing and waving his arms excitedly asking about what he had liked about it and what they could incorporate into Steve’s vision. Jeff had propped himself in his doorway with a knowing look until he got up and shut the door.

As he was cleaning up his station after the girl with the birds over her collarbone finally left, he froze in his tracks when a familiar face walked through the front door, sunlight catching all the highlights in his hair and turning his eyes more green than brown. His Instagram had not done him justice.

He quickly tried to pull his attention back to gathering up paper towels and rewrapping his gear. Get a hold of yourself, Munson. It’s just a normal consult. With a fucking beautiful male model-looking asshole (he wasn’t an asshole though) who he’d soon be getting to put his own work on and touch-

“Eddie! Steve is here,” Argyle thankfully turned his back to their lobby to smirk at him. All the guys had been teasing him this week after Eddie drunkenly gushed about him and the tattoo he’d soon get to do on him.

“Thanks, Argyle,” he huffed. “Give me a second.”

He quickly went to the bathroom to wash his hands and stare at himself in the mirror. “Be cool, dork. It’s a consult. Try to be fucking normal,” he hissed at his reflection. With a sigh, he went back out to face the music.

Suddenly he was in his tiny office in the back of the shop, overwhelmed by the delicious cologne or whatever it was that made Steve Harrington smell so fucking good.

Eddie poked at his iPad for a long moment like he’d never seen it before, feeling the weight of Steve’s eyes on him but refusing to look up. With a low frustrated noise, Eddie finally found the file he needed and almost threw the tablet into Steve’s lap.

“Uh. So th-this is what I’ve been messing around with. You know, since we talked. But we can change anything you don’t like! Whatever you want-“ he forced himself to stop talking as he finally allowed himself to look at Steve’s face.

“Wow, Eddie. This is, like, a lot different than I thought it would be.”

He felt his shoulders sag. Of course it sucked. No one liked his creepy creatures enough to have them on their bodies forever. He should just-

“Hey, no, that’s not what I meant.” Steve put his hand on his arm and Eddie looked up at him. “It’s awesome. Even better than I imagined. Can you tell me about it?”

Steve looked at him like no one else ever had when he’d shown them his work, actually interested and excited in way that made Eddie’s already fast heart stutter against his ribs.

“I-it’s, you know, you said you wanted a mermaid sea creature type thing. No tentacles,” he chuckled. Steve had been very adamant about that in their conversation, only giving Eddie that strict stipulation. That and no nudity, since he taught swimming lessons to kids and didn’t want to be paranoid about covering it.

Steve huffed a laugh but shuddered. Eddie let himself relax further.

“It’s essentially a creepy mermaid,” he said, reaching over to zoom into the drawing. “At first I was thinking sirens, you know, luring boats to their death, but they’re actually half birds and not underwater. This way we can play around with the tail or hair or bubbles or waves or whatever to cover anything we need to.”

Steve stared unblinkingly at his drawing with wide eyes. “It’s perfect. I love how dark and ominous it is. That’s really what I like about your art, Eds. It has so much raw emotion in it. She looks otherworldly and so sad.”

Eddie sucked in a breath at both the nickname and the compliment. No one had ever grasped the intricacies of his art, usually shrugging it off as horror or fantasy.

“Y-yeah,” he cleared his throat. “Thanks. Really. That’s- yeah,” he shook his head in disbelief. Steve fucking Harrington.

Far too soon, his watch buzzed, reminding him of his next appointment in thirty minutes. How had they’d been talking for half an hour already?

“Oh, well, I- um,” Eddie stuttered. He had never felt like this around any other clients, any other person really. “Can you, uh, show me where this is going?” He tried to smile normally.

“Yeah!” Steve grinned and stood, reaching for his belt.

Eddie jumped up too, the iPad on his lap dropping to the floor. Kneeling down to reach it, Eddie found himself looking up and making eye contact with Steve as he unzipped his jeans. “Wait, uh! Jeez man, I can like, step out, or-“

But Steve shrugged with a small laugh, toeing his shoes off so he could slide his pants down his long legs. “You’re going to see it all anyways, right? I’m not shy. Most of the tristate area has seen me in a Speedo, dude.”

Eddie winced, just now remembering why he wanted an underwater tattoo, his stories from his time as the captain of his college swimming team. Don’t picture it right now, freak.

He forced himself to stand while averting his eyes, somehow kneeling at this Greek god’s feet as he took his pants off hadn't already melted his brain but it was close.

The picture Steve had sent of his scars was just skin, and Eddie hadn’t known where it was. Should probably have asked, in hindsight. As Steve pulled the bottom of his tight boxer briefs up to show the back of his thigh, Eddie was glad Steve was turned away from him as his eyes trailed down the muscular thighs to the incredible calves. Somehow even his socked feet were attractive.

“Uh huh. Okay, um. How about you sit on the bed- on the couch! I have to- I’m gunna, you know, grab something.”

He ran out of his office and almost knocked over Gareth at the printer.

“Woah dude, are you okay?”

Eddie nodded as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “If I pass out, don’t let Steve do CPR, okay?”

There was a snickering laugh from behind him and he groaned.

“You don’t do CPR if the person is still breathing, buddy,” Steve supplied helpfully from his office doorway, still in just his boxers. Eddie wanted to dissolve into the floor.

Gareth handed him a bottle of water with a smirk and Eddie snatched a roll of tracing paper from beside the printer. “Thanks so much, Gare,” he grumbled.

“Don’t mention it.”

Steve thankfully didn’t bring up his awkwardness as he traced the back of his thigh on the paper, trying to get the overall shape and size they’d be going for.

“Oh, would it be possible to do like, something up higher?”

Eddie swallowed. “Up… higher?”

Steve did look back this time, making Eddie quickly try to settle his eyes somewhere innocent as Steve pulled the leg of his boxer briefs even higher, onto the perfectly pert cheek where there was another line of scarring.

“To cover this?”

“Sure.” He looked up into Steve’s big round eyes and got lost for a second. He would’ve agreed to anything in that moment, truthfully. Eddie would’ve tattooed his entire body if given the chance. “Um, hold it up there for another minute?” He directed as he grabbed the roll of tracing paper and tore off a longer strip.

Somehow he sunk into some professionalism he didn’t know he possessed as he used the sharpie to outline this very attractive man’s very expansive ass cheek and thigh.

He did leave the room afterwards to go back to the bathroom, throwing his long hair up into a messy knot to get it off his sweaty neck and splashed water on his face.

Exchanging pleasantries and telling Steve (with his pants on) that he’d send over some examples in the next week or so, he got through his hour unscathed.

At the bar with the boys that night, Gareth dramatically recreated his embarrassing moment outside his office. Eddie took the ribbing, downing his drink with a cringe as Drew shoved his shoulder.

“Just think, soon you’ll be tattooing the hottie’s ass for hours,” he laughed.

For some reason (a very good reason), he hadn’t allowed that part to solidify in his mind, and suddenly he had the image of Steve sprawled out under him as he tried to keep his hand steady to not fuck up his tattoo because he was staring at his ass.

“I’m fucked,” he groaned, burying his face in his hands and trying to ignore the ruckus the others made at his misfortune.

Eddie had never been this nervous or had such detailed discussions with a client about their tattoo before. Steve seemed genuinely interested in any and all lore associated with the tattoo and his work in general, shockingly even asking about some that were way back in Eddie’s instagram.

Before he knew it, Steve was sitting in the lobby again and Eddie tried to ignore everyone as he finished up a Roman Numeral date and sent his client to go look in the mirror.

Then it was Steve’s turn and his big eyes were staring into his.

His stencil was all prepared; Eddie had kept it safe in a special spot in his work station and had found himself staring at it between appointments.

“Hey Eds, ready to rock and roll?”

Eddie couldn’t help the wide grin that split his face as Steve approached him, Argyle helpfully sending him back to his station.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he mumbled, turning to start gathering his supplies.

In one of their (many) conversations in the time since the consultation, Eddie had advised Steve to come to this appointment in loose fitting shorts so they could just roll or pin up what they needed to get out of the way.

The short basketball shorts were not exactly what he had expected, but Eddie tore his eyes away from the way they hugged his ass and went to grab the stencil from its Important Spot.

His heart beating out of his chest while he meticulously shaved Steve’s butt cheek and thigh should’ve clued him in to how much this appointment was going to test him.

The voice of reason in his head (which annoyingly sounded like Uncle Wayne) was adamant that he be professional. Keep your head down and get to work.

That was easier said than done, however.

At first, Steve joked around with him, sprawled across his padded table with his arms pillowed under his chin. They both kept waiting for the next crazy song Argyle would put on, as he tended to jump from unheard of indie to hippie chique to instrumental video game soundtracks.

He’d explained this would most likely hurt worse than his previous tattoos, tattooing over scar tissue was a bitch. Steve had waved him off.

“Fuuuuck,” Steve whined the first time he traced the needle over the scarring on his upper thigh.

“Not too late to back out,” Eddie chuckled, knowing it would have the opposite effect.

“No way man,” he’d huffed before quickly rearranging himself on the table, gripping the corner harshly. “Keep going.”

Steve was definitely not the first attractive person he’d had on his tattoo bench, but for some reason all of his little noises and gasps and curses were sinking directly into his soul.

“Ready for a break?” Eddie asked when he’d almost finished with the outline. He hoped Steve would let them both take a breather. He desperately needed a cigarette and maybe a quick wank in the bathroom.

“I’m good. I think it’s- ah- it’s definitely getting easier,” Steve lied.

“The shading and color is going to be worse,” Eddie warned. “And we haven’t really, um, migrated north.”

Steve hissed, digging his fists into his eyes adorably. “Oh shit, you’re right. That’s going to suck, isn’t it?”

Eddie nodded solemnly, forgetting Steve wouldn’t be able to see. “Sure is, Stevie.” Not sure where the nickname had come from, he quickly forged ahead. “You don’t need to, I mean, how many people are really seeing it?”

Steve laughed sharply, Eddie pulling the tattoo gun away quickly. “Sorry. You don’t think I’m getting any, huh?”

Eddie felt his cheeks redden. “Th-that’s not what I meant! I’m sure you’re, like, you know, getting lots!”

Steve laughed harder and louder, a bit hysterically. “Oh, now you think I’m a slut?”

Eddie looked around for help but everyone was pointedly not looking at them.

“Oh my god, your face, Eds,” Steve gasped out, up on his elbow now to laugh at him. “I’m messing with you.” He continued laughing, but slowing down now. “Ahh, you are right though. A lot less people are seeing the goods lately. I’m not parading around in speedos anymore, at least.”

Eddie’s brain helpfully shut down at that thought so he didn’t keep putting his foot in his mouth.

“Are we at the break time?” Steve asked when he realized they were both just staring at each other.

“Yeah? Yeah! We can- whatever you want! Let me just-uh,“ he made himself stop making a fool of himself as he wiped a paper towel across the ink.

Eddie helpfully pointed Steve to the restroom first and he slunk to his office.

Jeff poked his head in, a wide grin on his face. “Having fun, Tedster?”

“Shuddup,” he grumbled, aggressively opening drawers in his desk, shoving things around.

“Did you leave your dignity in your desk somewhere?” Jeff teased.

Eddie groaned, then held up a battered pack of cigarettes triumphantly.

“Jeez, that bad, huh? You haven’t had nicotine since-“

Eddie held up a hand. “Nuh uh. Give me this, please, just, lay off. I’m-“

“A mess. I’ve never seen you like this with a client, man. All stammery and heart eyes. ‘Whatever you want, Stevie.’ What was that?”

Eddie shushed him loudly. The place was not huge. “Alright, alright. I don’t know what’s happening, okay? But I gotta get through it so if I can just self medicate in peace, please?”

The first pull of smoke into his lungs was amazing, leaning against the front wall of the shop, sunshine beating down on him. He felt like maybe he could survive this.

Until Steve was again laid out on his table, a cocky little smile on his face. Eddie tried to ignore it and the insane urge to ask him if he’d heard what Jeff had been saying, instead meticulously setting up his tray with ink pots and everything he needed.

“Ready, hot shot?” Came out of his mouth, snarky.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Steve sassed back, making Eddie laugh and breaking this bubble of uncertainty.

Steve had come back from their break without complaint, so it appeared he hadn’t had an issue with anything he heard or anything Eddie had done.

“Oh my god,” Steve gasped as the first swipe of color went on. “You weren’t kidding.”

It was then that Eddie realized he hadn’t done anything to settle his other problem. When he went back to the tray for more ink, he tried to surreptitiously readjust his pants and twisted away from Steve’s line of sight.

Steve’s noises were almost constant high needy noises now. In addition, Eddie was forced to settle his hand basically on Steve’s ass to complete the waves and bubbles above the mermaid. He decided to just keep going, no reason to switch spots to have to go back. Eventually he’d be tattooing and having to run his hand over and over the pert cheek. Don’t think about that.

“C-can we stop?” Steve panted.

Eddie froze.

“Sure. You okay?” He instantly searched his face. Had he been so in the zone that he hadn’t realized Steve was really struggling? Could he have been that deep in his own head that he hadn’t checked in with his client? “I’m so sorry- we-“

Steve sucked in several deep breaths, repositioning now that Eddie had stopped tattooing. Shifting onto his side to face him. “I’m okay. Just- a lot, uh, happening.”

Eddie quickly stood to grab Steve a bottle of water, pulling off his black rubber gloves on his way.

“No worries, we can chill, take a break, cut it short. Whatever we need to do,” Eddie rattled off quickly as he passed him the bottle.

Steve gulped half of the water then shook his head. “I think I just need a minute. Got kinda intense, I dunno.” He shook his head, hunching up his shoulders, looking small and overwhelmed in a way that made Eddie want to reach out for him. Keep him safe.

“Hey. No big. I warned you this would be a lot. I’m really sorry for not checking in.” He dropped down onto his stool, and he watched as Steve sort of curled into himself more. But there wasn’t much he could hide in his little shorts. “Oh. Um. That’s normal, too. Bodies are weird.” He tried to keep his voice neutral, but he could feel his cheeks warm.

Steve groaned and covered his face. “Oh my god,” he breathed.

They sat in silence for a long moment. Then Eddie had an idea.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Steve seemed even more anxious when he returned to his station, almost shaking as he bit into a cuticle and ran his other hand through his hair.

“You’re okay. Do you trust me?” The heavy question hung in the air between them. “I mean-“

“Yes.”

Eddie’s heart stopped then ratcheted even faster against his ribs. He grinned down at this gorgeous man on his table.

“Put these on. They should fit.”

His black sweatpants were a bit short on Steve, his ass and thighs taking up more room than his own. But it would work, and they hid more than his thin shorts.

Now that he was decent, Eddie gestured for Steve to follow him.

“Argyle, we’re taking a break. Gunna go see Chris.”

“You got it. Tell her I said hey,” Argyle called from his corner, not raising his eyes from the guy he was piercing.

Outside, Eddie watched Steve become more and more relaxed as they walked to the end of the block.

“Chris?” He finally asked, cocking his head adorably. Like a puppy.

Eddie grinned. “You’ll see.”

Inside the brightly colored ice cream shop, Steve almost ran excitedly to the front counter just as Chrissy came from the back, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Cunningham? You’re Chris?”

“Oh my god!” She shrieked. “Harrington? What are you doing here?”

Eddie looked between them, shocked. Chrissy had come around the counter to launch herself into Steve’s arms, hugging him tight and squealing as he spun her around.

This wasn’t how Eddie had expected this to go. “Uhh?”

Chrissy thankfully caught his deer in headlights expression and let go, laughing. “Eddie! Where’d you dig this one up from?”

“He found me! Sorta. Argyle found him,” he snorted. “I’m doing a piece for him.”

Chrissy beamed at him, nodding. “Ahh, that explains it. C’mon you two, sit down. What can I tempt you with, Steve?”

While Steve downed a milkshake and Eddie massacred a banana split, Eddie learned that Steve and Chrissy had gone to school together back in Indiana. Somehow both of them had bounced around before ending up in California. Steve explained he’d always wanted to live near the ocean.

Chrissy asked about the tattoo he was getting, and Eddie watched enraptured as Steve took the question, excitedly detailing the dark mermaid.

“It’s to cover up some scarring on my leg,” he explained.

“Ohhh yeah, from your-“

Steve suddenly leaned over the table to cover Chrissy’s mouth. Eddie burst out laughing, unsure what was happening, but watched Chrissy and Steve have a silent conversation through raised eyebrows.

“Ewww!” Steve pulled his hand back and wiped it on his (Eddie’s) pant leg. “She licked me!”

“Not surprised. Chris is a hardass.” He shot her a wide grin as she glared at him and flipped him off. “She plays dirty.”

“Eddie doesn’t know about your accident?”

“Chrissy, I’m begging you,” Steve wailed dramatically.

Smirking, she took a small sip from her own milkshake, eying the both of them.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Eddie chuckled. “But we need to get going if we’re trying to wrap up the rest of your tattoo today.”

Steve agreed and they both hugged Chrissy, Steve grabbing her number to make plans for lunch another day.

Shaking his head to himself, Eddie chuckled as they walked back down the road, “That was unexpected.”

“You aren’t kidding. What a small world, huh?”

“Maybe it’s a sign. Just so you know, her and Argyle have been in like an on again, off again thing for a while. But-“

Steve shuddered. “Nah man, she’s like my little sister. That’s not a problem.”

Eddie held the tattoo shop door open for Steve who smirked at him.

Feeling bad that he hadn’t thought of it before, he sent Steve to his station and went to grab the black canvas partition to put in front of them, separating them from the rest of the shop. Hopefully it helped Steve relax and not feel as anxious.

“Better?” Eddie asked.

Steve nodded a few times, then slid out of his (Eddie’s) sweatpants. Eddie turned his back to get his stuff organized again while Steve got himself situated on the table.

“C-can you… uh, pull your shorts up?” Eddie winced at his stuttering question. Again he was struck with the realization that he was never this unprofessional and simpering with any other client.

But Steve reached a hand back to uncover his leg and butt to him, pretty much tucking the extra fabric between his cheeks. Eddie swallowed.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Steve sassed in response.

Eddie snorted. At least he was feeling better.

He got back in the zone, shading and coloring in but making sure he kept checking in this time.

“Good?” He huffed as he wiped the paper towel across the scarred area on his butt.

“So good,” Steve groaned and Eddie barked a laugh.

“Need a break?”

“No, just get the worst bits over with, will you?”

Eddie chuckled and went over the scar again with the tattoo gun, seeing Steve clench his fist in his periphery.

He tried his best to quickly go over the scarred skin, to limit the amount of pain he was putting Steve through.

Until he gasped and Eddie pulled back, instantly stopping and tracking across his face.

“Sorry. I’m okay. I dunno. Maybe more nerve endings there or something,” he rambled, wide eyed and looking pale.

“Almost done, I promise. You need your water?”

Steve nodded shakily and Eddie handed the now surely lukewarm bottle over, watching as Steve downed it, his Adam’s apple bobbing attractively.

Eddie stood to go grab a cold water for both of them and impulsively picked up some wrapped cookies they kept around for everyone. Definitely not to bide his time while Steve got himself together, and definitely not because it was crumbling Eddie’s already dwindling self control. Absolutely not. He was a goddamn professional.

Steve was propped on his side again, but he didn’t look as nervous or shaken as last time.

“Oooh, a milkshake and then a cookie? You know something about my sweet tooth, Eds?”

The nickname caught him off guard, as did the shit eating grin and the new twinkle in his eye.

Eddie giggled, coughed, then managed a lower laugh. “Ah, I can’t say that I do, but it helps to keep your sugar up. Or just something to keep your mind off the pain.”

Steve groaned goodnaturedly, getting himself back into position on the table, propping himself on an elbow to munch on the cookie.

Eddie focused on shading around and over the scars first, making sympathetic noises at Steve’s whines and gasps. This may be the most trying session of his career. Could he put ‘good under pressure, ex: attractive client whimpering’ on his resume?

He powered through the rest of the shading, making sure he kept an eye on Steve but trying his best to tune out his (sexy) noises and didn’t really pay any attention to what was coming out of his mouth.

“Fucking hell, Eddie,” Steve panted as he tried to gently wipe off all the mess and clean him up. He clenched his jaw to keep himself from commenting or moaning along with him.

Eddie insisted he wear his sweatpants home.

After everyone had cleaned up from their last client, Eddie suddenly looked up and had everyone’s eyes on him.

“Uhh?”

“Dude. What was that?” Drew was closest.

Gareth chimed in with a smirk, “That was Steve,” dragging his name out like they were in middle school.

Eddie groaned. He could feel his cheeks heating up and he did not want to be ridiculed any further.

“Oh, Bredward, it was disgusting.” Jeff came over and threw himself dramatically across Eddie’s chair. “You two were over here giggling at each other like kindergarteners. And I’ve never heard you gushing over a client like that.”

Eddie opened his mouth to argue but the rest of the guys decided to pipe up to give examples.

“Doing such a good job, almost done, I promise.”

“A bit more. You can do it. C’mon.”

“I’ve got you, Stevie.”

“That’s it, deep breaths for me.”

“I didn’t!”

“You did!” Gareth nodded and Eddie grimaced.

“He took him on a date down to Chrissy’s halfway through!” Argyle supplied.

The rest of the guys stopped and turned to Eddie, who just made a face and nodded shortly in silent confirmation of this ridiculousness. There was an uproar of gasps and groans, making Eddie drop down onto his stool, groaning himself and throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling while they continued.

Jeff seemed to sober first. “What the fuck, man?”

“I don’t know. I- um, got a little carried away. I guess.”

“You guess,” Gareth huffed. “I felt like I was listening to a 900 number next to me. You know these cubicle walls aren’t soundproof, right? I had to tell my client you guys were dating because she was concerned.”

“What?”

“Bro, he was over here sounding like a pornstar and you were just as bad. I couldn’t tell her the truth!”

Eddie covered his face finally. He knew it had been too much, but hearing it from his friends made it all seem worse. Had Steve been uncomfortable with him? He hadn’t said anything. Eddie probably royally fucked this up for himself.

“Shit.”

@steddiesummerexchange

[okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount]

DCRC Week 1. Translation Troubles

Everyone is going to talk about the story already. Everyone has read the story already. You can find a hundred reviews in probably 10 different languages (mostly Italian) everywhere (mostly papersera). Evroniani is iconic. That’s why I’m going to review the shitty English translation. Or is it shitty? I don’t know! We’re gonna find out today! I have no idea what I’m doing!

C’mon c’mon follow me dear little readers

Now where did i leave it? You know, I haven’t really touched it since i bought it don’t remember how long ago. The memory starts to fade when you become old.

I think it was here. I bought a darkwing comic with it and made my little brother pay for a skylanders comic to remove the shipping costs. I don’t think he has read the Skylanders comic either, but it did save me a few euros on shipping. You could also pick it up at their store or at a comic con that they would be at in a few days or weeks. I don’t remember. The darkwing comic sucked by the way.

Ah look at that! I did read the last page though. With the little translated evronian article. It’s a shame they didn’t translate those to more countries. Those were cool. This one I remember was cute. For the rest i flipped through it and read the introductory pages. All the ‘real new’ content.

And there it is! Beautiful, is it not? I don’t have a lot of American comics, but they are always so fancy. Paper quality is amazing, and in these funny plastic sheets with carton to make sure they stay mint and new and things. When it came in it was incredibly well packed and protected. Unnecessarily so even I would say. But it was really appreciated. Always like it when it’s obvious they did it because they love comics and wanted them to arrive safely. I felt almost a little bad they put so much effort while i bought so little. They sold this thing for €3 you know? I don’t know if they knew how rare these are. I also don’t know how tf it even got all the way from America to them in Zaandam. Was it Zaandam? I don’t remember. No it was not Zaandam. But it was something with a Z. Or not. The memory is bad. Have i said that already?

I think it’s funny that they describe the one-page column as a story. Even inducks wouldn’t do that! They would describe it as an article you know. Anyways. Both ‘stories’ in this issue are translated by Jonathan H. Gray. Absolute legend. I have heard he’s an actual fan of PKNA which is nice. Always makes me happy when people love the work they’re doing. Have i said that already? Have i said that already?

Alright enough with acting like a senile old man. Imma read the story now. Will be back telling what i think of the translation soon. Though for you that means after one line of white pressing enter.

Overall, the translation is fine. The slang and amount of ‘’s didn’t annoy me that much. I do find that the dialogue is overall more childish than the Dutch version. It does more explaining and tries to do all those annoying alliterative amplifiers that the American translators really seem to love for some reason.

Sometimes I do find it more expressive than the Dutch version. Almost all of the banter between Donald and Uno I do very much prefer. It’s a lot more colourful and full of personality. You don’t need a single issue more to believe that these two are friends (lovers). Gray managing to convey that feeling through the dialogue alone is a great show for his talents.

The stylized enhancing or decreasing of the size of some of the letters is fun. Though that’s a lettering thing. Thankfully they credit those too! Great job Deron Bennett!

I do really appreciate all the creative decisions and extra references in the English translation. They do take me a little bit out of the story, but it makes for a fun way to re-experience it.

Sorry, that was a bit of a short review. I’m not a very experienced translation reviewer guys this is my first time.

To make up for it; here some individual parts of the translation and my reactions to them:

found a darkwing duck line coming out of pks mouth (or beak whatever). disgusting.

Btw Freezeflames is also a disgusting name for them Coolflames. they are already coolflamed now you gotta give them a shit name too?

im sorry, who tf is ed?

It seems Jonathan is also a DonOdin shipper.

Overall, good to finally have read the only English PKNA story I own. I might have never done it if it wasn’t for the DCRC! That would have been a shame, because Gray’s translation work does add a few fun things. And like, dude, it’s PKNA in English. Officially. That’s rad. You gotta have experienced that at least once as a fan. I think. I don’t remember. Have i-

Funny thing the American and latest Dutch translations dropped around the same time. The American publication sadly stopped very soon, while the Dutch publications stopped a few months ago (still crying, because the next part of PK Pikappa should have just come out like a week ago or something if they didnt cancel it boohoo whyyyyy agony).