#i did the whole squinty eyes thing

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

[its-time-to-write]

hi! Could you please write something with like reader opening the door one day when Roy stars knocking for training but reader and Jamie aren’t open about their relationship yet? I think it would be cute xx

I also thought this was cute. Not sure if anyone notices/cares, but all my titles are song lyrics based ever so loosely on the vibe I am trying to convey. Thanks for another great request!

what it is

Someone’s aggressively knocking on the door and as you roll over to check the time. It’s 4am, and you poke Jamie who is fast asleep beside you.

“Babe,” you whisper, “someone’s at the door.”

Jamie groans and mumbles something incoherent. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell something’s off. You reach out your hand and feel his forehead. It’s burning up.

The knocking continues and Jamie lets out another groan and says something that sounds like raining? Oh. Training. You remember he trains every morning at 4, but you’ve never seen who he goes with. He just kisses you in your sleep and is back right as you wake up for the day. 

You roll out of bed, grab one his sweatshirts from the floor, and pad downstairs to the door.

You swing open the door mid-knock. The man on the other side lowers his fist, looks at you all squinty for a moment, then says, “Who the fuck’re you?”

You return the look. “I live here. Who the fuck are you?”

The man scoffs. “No, you fucking don’t. This is Jamie Tartt’s house. Jesus fucking Christ, is he fucking blowing off training because of a fucking one-night stand?”

Oh. You know who this is. This is Roy Kent. You didn’t know he was the one training Jamie, but you guess it makes sense based on how much Jamie talks about him. It’s Roy Kent this, and Roy Kent that, and Roy says I need to eat more protein, and Roy said my hair looked funny today, does it look funny to you? 

You sigh. You and Jamie have been together for three months, and you basically live at his house. You’re really only at your flat to change clothes. You have a toothbrush, pajamas, and half a wardrobe at Jamie’s. Your books have started to make their way onto his shelves too, as you read them and then leave them for him to start. That was a little bit of an accident at first, after you left This Side of Paradise one night and came back to a different bookmark on page 34.

Anyway, Roy Kent doesn’t know you’re dating Jamie, or that anyone is. You suppose in his mind, Jamie is happily single, fucking around like the twenty-something year old footballer he is. 

Roy is still looking at you expectantly, so say, “I do live here. Why don’t you come in?” and hold open the door a bit wider. 

Roy’s face says fuck it, and he follows you inside to the kitchen. 

“Can I get you some tea?” you ask quietly, although Jamie can sleep through anything. 

Roy seems surprised by the question, but says, “Yeah, sure,” as he stands by the kitchen island.

“Jamie’s sick,” you say. “He’s still asleep upstairs. I doubt he’ll be up for training today.”

“Right, yeah,” says Roy, “I’m sorry, but who the fuck are you? Jamie’s not fucking supposed to be doing the whole one-night stand thing, he told me it’s too fucking distracting from training.”

You chuckle. “That’s comedy gold right there. Yeah, no, I’m not a one-night stand. I’m his girlfriend.”

Roy’s impressive eyebrows lift in shock, and you laugh again and give him your name. “Didn’t know I existed, did you? I’m not one for crowds or a big fuss. I told Jamie if we made it four months than he could start telling people. He was a little upset, but,” you shrug, “no point in making it a big deal if we just break up, right?”

You can practically see the wheels turning in Roy’s brain as he does the math.

“So you’re telling me that you’ve been fucking dating this little prick for three fucking months, and he hasn’t fucking said anything?”

You nod. 

“Fuckkk,” Roy whispers, “that makes so much fucking sense.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him.

“He’s been less of a prick recently,” Roy explains, “More considerate, been carrying around fucking books and shit. Not fucking flirting with everything that fucking moves. Thought maybe he was just taking beating Zava too fucking seriously.”

You nod and move to pour the tea. You and Roy both turn as you hear footsteps coming down the stairs. It’s Jamie, who is wearing a headlamp, pajama shirt, athletic vest, and a single sock. And, thank God, pants.

“Ready for training coach,” he says with a salute, but the action almost makes him fall over. He looks all pale and sweaty, with bags under his eyes.

“Told you he was sick,” you say.

“Fuckin’ hell,” is all Roy can come up with.

Jamie seems to notice you for the first time and breaks out into a smile. “Roy! Look! I have a girlfriend,” he says, words a little slurred while pointing to you.

It’s punctuated by a “Jesus Christ,” from Roy as Jamie wobbles, unsteady on his feet from his fever.

“Alright, mister,” you say. “Back to bed.”

Jamie frowns. “Always so mean,” he says. He does an imitation of your voice, “No Jamie, you can’t tell Roy about us. Yes Jamie, I know Roy’s your best friend. No Jamie, I don’t think you love Roy more than me.” He looks at Roy as you sling his arm around your shoulders, supporting him at his waist. He puts his fingertips on your lips as he says, “See what I have to put up with?”

You roll your eyes and suppress a smile as Roy says, “What you have to put up with?”

Jamie is so loopy right now. He lays his head on yours and smiles again. “Look at this. Me two favorite people, finally meeting. You should stay for dinner, coach.”

Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. You can tell he’s trying not to laugh as you both mutually decide not to point out that it is now 4:30am and dinner is a long, long way away.

“Let’s go get you out of those clothes and into bed,” you say as you start to lead him back to your room. 

Jamie casts a look back at Roy and wiggles his eyebrows. “Babe, you can’t just say things like that in front of granddad. Might give him a heart attack. Old people are such prudes.”

“Go to sleep, Tartt,” Roy says. He looks at you and says softly, “I can see myself out.”

You smile and wave with your free hand. “It was nice to meet you,” you say. “Hopefully we can meet again under more normal circumstances.”

Roy nods once and does what you think is a smile? He turns and heads out the door as you maneuver Jamie upstairs. Jamie Tartt has a girlfriend. And a good one at that. What is the world coming to?

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

The Golden Elf

Love Bites, Chapter 4 // Love Bites {Masterlist}

Ship: Astarion Ancunin x fem!vampire spawn!elf!Tav/reader

Summary: Sometimes, vampires choose their spawn specifically. Sometimes, they're in the wrong place at the wrong time and are lost to their loved ones for centuries. These days, that's all you can think about.

Word Count: 9,769 words

Warnings: 18+, smut & fluff, flashback within a flashback, past perspective, established relationship, Astarion pre-vampirism, Astarion's parents, the ruling, slice of life, direct mention of Astarion's death, you being deeply in love with Astarion, cuddling, sappy relationship, family dynamics, appreciating Astarion,

18+ Warnings: explicit smut, multiple instances of smut, unprotected sex, soft sex, slow & gentle sex, consensual, love making, fingering, vaginal sex, pull-out, aftercare, dirty talk, touching over clothes, mirror sex, multiple creampies, riding, oral (m receiving), changing positions, rough sex, consent check-ins, cockwarming

Note: This is a long chapter, possibly the longest in this whole series, and it's mostly smut. Have fun!

☟ Continue below the fold ☟

Morning dawned brightly in your bedroom—almost too brightly, which was explained by the curtains still being open from last night’s adventure to the roof with your boyfriend. 

You squeezed your eyes shut again and rolled over in bed, burying your face in his chest. “You left the curtains open, you dolt,” you complained into his chest. 

Astarion chuckled, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. “Good morning, darling. Nice to see you, too.”

To make up for your sour attitude, you moved to quickly peck his lips, then hid your face in his chest again. “Morning.”

“Oh, come on, darling. Can’t I get a better good morning kiss?”

You grumbled and shook your head. “Not yet. I’m not awake yet.”

“Fair enough.” He squeezed you tightly, rolling to lay you on top of him. He kissed the top of your head. “Sleep well?”

“I did. Until I was rudely awoken by the sun,” you added. 

“The sun is beautiful and wants to say hello to a very beautiful woman,” he teased. “That’s you, by the way.”

You grabbed your pillow and whacked him softly on the head with it. “It’s too early for this, Astarion.”

“Nonsense! It’s never too early for me to lavish my lady love with praise.” He kissed your temple. “Come on, darling, can’t I see that pretty face?”

At last, you raised your head and looked up at your boyfriend. Despite your bedhead and morning grumpy attitude and your squinty eyes, his handsome face broke into a smile at the sight of you. 

“There she is,” he cooed, cupping your chin and kissing your forehead softly. You hummed happily, leaning into his touch, and then put your head back down on his chest. “Still sleepy?”

You nodded. “Mhm. And you’re very comfortable… I could go back to sleep on you like this.”

Astarion’s body was warm beneath you, his skin soft and his body that wonderful in-between of muscle and soft flesh. His arms wrapped around you are more comfortable than the blanket draped over the two of you, the only thing keeping the two of you from giving your neighbors across the street (who were known to be quite nosey) an eyeful of two naked elves. 

“Oh, really? How about I…wake you up, then, darling?” he suggested, grinning cheekily and winking when you looked up at him. The only trace of the shy boy who’d nervously asked to make love to you for the first time so long ago was in the pale blush on his pretty cheeks, a much lighter shade than the flush you’d seen that first night.

With your words slurring together, you mumbled, “You have to go to work, Asty.” Still, you clung to him, not quite ready to let him go yet.

“Nuh uh,” he said, nuzzling his nose into your hair. “It’s still early—almost two hours early. We can have a little fun, go back to sleep, and I can still be perfectly on time.”

“Two hours? We woke up two hours earlier than normal because you left the curtains open? No wonder I’m not awake enough yet.”

“Almost two hours, not quite,” he said. He rubbed your back, his hand drifting toward your ass and squeezing. “What do you say, darling?”

You harrumphed. “Not until you close that curtain, dingus.”

“What, you don’t want the whole street to see how much pleasure I can give you? You’re no fun, dearest.”

You scoffed. “Oh, yes, because that’s exactly what Baldur’s Gate needs—to see one of its top magistrates banging his girlfriend in all the nasty ways she likes at five in the morning.”

“Fiancée, darling,” he corrected. “How long is it going to take you to remember that? Did I not make my proposal memorable enough?” He pouted playfully.

You giggled. “You did, believe me,” you insisted. “I just like hearing you say it.”

Astarion beamed. “Oh, really?”

You nodded. “Now go close those curtains, honey.”

He laughed as he stood up. “So now she wants sex.”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do,” you said. “I can’t help it, I have a wonderful man in bed with me.”

You watched as he closed the curtain, the muscles in his shoulders and upper back flexing beneath the skin. For a man living a mostly sedentary life, he certainly kept in remarkably good shape.

Astarion turned back to you, the curtain closed behind him, a very pale light filling the room so that you could still see his face. “Happy now?”

The look on his face alone made you kick off the blankets and beckon him back to bed. “Very happy. Come here, you. Come kiss me.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. Astarion crawled on top of you and slid his arms underneath you, kissing you heartily. You smiled into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You let one hand drift over the shell of his sensitive ear and his entire body shuddered.

“Two can play at that game,” he warned, returning the favor. Pleasure shot through you and you sighed softly, arching to press your body against his. 

“Gods, Astarion,” you whispered. “Keep—keep doing that.”

He kept touching your ear as he moved down your body, kissing down your neck and collarbones, stopping at your breasts and paying special attention to one while gently squeezing the other in his free hand. Between kisses and sucking, he asked you, “Did I hear you say you wanted it nasty earlier?”

You rolled your eyes. “I was exaggerating.”

He looked up at you. “Do you want it nasty though?”

You shook your head. “Soft and sweet, please.”

Astarion smiled. “Thought so. It’s a bit too early to be rough with you, huh?”

“Mhm,” you agreed, smiling as he went back to sucking on your nipples. “Feels good, Asty…”

He took his hand away from your ear and instead brought it between your legs. “Can I touch you, darling?”

“Please do,” you whispered to him. “I want it.”

Astarion smiled against your skin and slid two fingers along your entrance. You spread your legs more for him and sighed contentedly. He kissed your stomach softly as he rubbed slow circles around your clit. You moaned softly. 

“Just like that, honey,” you breathed. But after a few moments, you bucked your hips against his hand. He knew exactly what you wanted and slipped two fingers inside you. He curled them at the knuckle and you keened, muffling your sounds in his shoulder. 

“That’s it, darling,” he breathed. “That’s it. As soon as we have our own place, you can be as loud as you want, but not yet.”

His fingers moved deftly inside of you, quickly working you up. He rubbed them against the soft, sensitive places of your walls while his thumb circled your clit. He pressed his soft lips to yours for every curl of his fingers. 

For some reason, you were particularly sensitive this morning; it didn’t take long before your body was twitching and spasming and your legs were beginning to shake.

“Close already?” he asked. You nodded. “Mind if I replace my fingers with my cock, then? I know it’s faster than normal, but I want to feel you cum around me.”

You nodded once again. “Please, honey…”

He pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean. Your eyes remained glued to his face, so you didn’t see him push in, but you did see his face scrunch up in pleasure and you felt the delicious stretch of your body trying to accommodate him. For a moment, it was a struggle and you whimpered quietly. He kissed you softly.

“Are you alright?” he asked. “Can I keep going?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

“Alright. Good girl. That’s it, take my cock, darling.” He pushed all the way in and stayed there, holding you close to him for a moment, pressing his forehead against yours. “Tell me when I can move, and stop me if it hurts.”

You kissed him gently. His lips were a balm to any discomfort you felt in your nether regions, though there was hardly any of that anyway. “I’m ready now, Asty. You can move.”

“Tell me if it hurts,” he said again and kissed your forehead before he started to thrust gently and slowly.

Your head fell back against the pillows and you arched your back, pushing your body against him. He chuckled, bending to kiss along the column of your neck. 

“Feeling okay?” he asked, his tone teasing; he knew perfectly well you felt okay.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he moved deeper. “Feels good… You’re— You feel good, honey.” 

“Oh, do I?” he joked, punctuating his words with a languid roll of his hips. You moaned, wrapping your legs around his hips. You pushed his head down to yours and kissed him heartily.

For a few moments, there was nothing but the sounds of your heavy breathing in the room, the slide of bodies against silk sheets, and your ceaseless kissing. He was moving so slowly that the sound of skin on skin was slight.

Into your mouth, he murmured, “You feel so good around my cock, darling… So tight and wet, like I’ve been working you up for hours… Did you, perhaps, have a pleasant dream about me?”

“I’m always having pleasant dreams about you, though not always the kind you’re suggesting,” you replied, smiling cheekily at him. He raised an eyebrow and you continued, “Dreams of our future together, dearest, and how much I love you—not just of how good you fuck me.”

He grinned. “Oh, you little minx! How I love you.”

Astarion reached down and began to rub your clit just the way you liked, thrusting a little harder, kissing you with a bit more force. You moaned happily into his mouth and he giggled. Gods, how you loved that little giggle.

He pulled away from you and brushed your hair off your face. He cupped your cheek, smiling down at you.

“You’re so beautiful, darling,” he whispered.

“So are you,” you told him. “You look like a god right now.”

It was true; his curls framed his face beautifully, glowing a soft silver at the ends, his honey eyes dark in this lighting. His cheeks were a pretty shade of pink with exertion, his lips parted, his gaze more than a little blissful. 

A mix of embarrassment and pride flooded his features. “Oh, darling, don’t flatter me…”

“I mean it,” you promised, cupping his cheek. He leaned into your touch. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you, darling,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to yours. You leaned up to kiss him again, your hand sliding from his shoulders and down the planes of his back. You adjusted your legs to hold onto him tighter. 

His thrusts grew harder and more punctuated. The head of his cock kissed your walls with every thrust. You let out small, barely contained whimpers with every thrust. He stopped kissing your mouth and nudged your chin up with his nose. He began kissing your neck, leaving delicate hickeys behind.

“A little louder, sweetheart,” he breathed. “I want to hear you a little more.”

“But your parents—”

“Are in a room downstairs. They can’t hear us. And if they do…well, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Astarion’s fingers sped up on your clit, giving you no choice but to moan for him. You panted his name, digging your fingers into his curls. He smiled against your skin, his movements quickening. 

You were clenching around him in no time. “Asty— Asty, I’m almost—”

“I know, darling, I know,” he cooed. “Let go for me. I’ve got you, just let go… I’ll be there with you soon.”

Comforted by his words and his hold on you, you relaxed and leaned your head into his shoulder. A few more gentle thrusts and a few more swipes of his thumb on your clit and your walls were trembling around him. You finished around him, moaning quietly into his neck, far more subdued than normal but enjoying yourself nonetheless. 

“That’s it, good girl,” he breathed. “You did so well, darling. Mind if I finish up?”

“Please do,” you whispered, kissing his cheek. 

His moan of relief was closer to a whimper. “Thank you, my sweet…”

One, two, three more thrusts and he was pulling out of you, spilling himself on your stomach. His jaw dropped open, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaved. He moaned softly as he came, silencing himself by kissing you heartily. He collapsed onto you the moment he was finished. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close to you as the two of you tried to catch your breath together.

“Was that good?” Astarion asked after a few moments, once again that shy, nervous boy seeking your approval. “You were quieter than normal.”

“It was a soft, quiet kind of morning,” you said, kissing his forehead. “You were perfect, Asty. I loved it. Every second of it. Did you?”

“Mhm,” Astarion said with a grin. “You always feel so amazing.”

You brushed your fingers through his curls. “I’m glad you liked it. I think…I think we need to have soft sex like that more often. It was quite nice, and we only ever do it in the morning.”

He glanced down at your body, at your abdomen still covered in his cum. “Here, let me clean you up.”

You watched him get up and disappear into the adjoining washroom. He came back a few moments later with a cloth soaked in warm water. You watched him cross to you, your eyes soaking up his lean figure and long, skilled fingers. 

“What’s that look for?” he asked, crawling back onto the bed and beginning to wipe down your stomach.

“Oh, nothing, I’m just admiring the love of my life,” you told him. He paused in his cleaning to kiss your lips. 

“I love you,” he whispered to you, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“And I love you,” you returned, smiling softly at him.

He sat between your legs, gently wiping your folds and your entrance. You relaxed, humming softly, as he worked. When he was finished, he laid down next to you.

“Gimme that,” you mumbled, grabbing the cloth from him. You wiped him down also, cleaning his own release off of his abdomen from when he collapsed on you and your combined releases from his length and hips. 

“Thank you, darling,” he said when you were finished. You tossed the cloth to the floor, a problem for an hour from now, when you actually got up. He beckoned you back into his arms and you happily laid in his embrace. He stroked your hair and kissed the top of your head, hugging you to his chest, your legs twining together. 

Several peaceful moments passed, your mind stuck on the image of his cock dripping onto your stomach, twitching against you as he finished. At last, you said, “Astarion?”

“Yes, dear?” he mumbled into your hair, a few moments away from sleep.

“Later tonight…I want you to cum inside me.”

He jolted awake faster than you had ever seen. “You want me to what?”

Heat flushed through your body and your embarrassment rushed to your cheeks. “Only if you want to, but I…I think it might be nice. And we’ve waited long enough for it.”

Astarion tilted your head up with two fingers under your chin. His eyes were dark with desire again. “I understand your reasoning for it, darling, but I desperately want you to say it again.”

Excitement fluttered through you. “Tonight, when we have sex, I want you to cum inside me.”

A whimper escaped his lips. “Oh, gods above… Darling, you’re— Yes, absolutely, I— Yes!” He cupped your face and kissed you softly. “Oh, sweetheart… Gods, I can’t wait!”

You smiled. “You’re going to have to, honey, we have to get up soon and I would like my next hour of sleep back.”

He huffed. “Oh, yes, yes, I know. But tonight…you’ll let me?”

You nodded. “Absolutely. You’ll have something to look forward to all day.”

Astarion groaned. “If I get hard in court, this is your fault.”

You laughed. “You better not be thinking about fucking me in court, Asty, I think that would count as negligence.”

He frowned. “How so?”

“Because when you think about fucking me, you can’t focus on anything else. Believe me, I’ve seen the look in your eyes, I know when your brain’s elsewhere.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, hush. Just lay with me instead of teasing me. I want to hold you.”

Smiling, you snuggled into his arms. “Alright, alright. Let’s go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, honey.”

Astarion kissed the top of your head, humming his agreement. He let you snuggle into him and get comfortable before he rested his head atop yours and began rubbing soothing circles into your back. You drifted off, warm and happy in his arms.

~❊~

A brief knock on the front door announced Astarion’s arrival before he himself walked in, shaking rainwater from his coat and hair and carrying a paper bag with the corks of two wine bottles sticking out of it. 

“Hello, hello!” he called, not realizing you and his mother stood together in the kitchen, in the middle of making dinner. “It’s raining something awful out there— Oh! Hi, Ma.” He hung up his coat and joined you in the kitchen, kissing his mother’s cheek. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and kissed your temple softly. “Is Dad home yet?”

“Not yet,” Selwynn replied.

“How was work, hun?” you asked, turning your face to return the kiss. 

His face darkened briefly. “That’s a conversation for when my father’s present,” he told you and you knew instantly something hadn’t gone well. The more you studied him, the more exhausted he looked. 

“Are you alright, though?” you asked.

Astarion shrugged. “I’m alright.” He kissed you again and the softness of it alleviated your worries, but only a little.

From behind both of you, Selwynn tousled his hair. “Go wash up, darling, dinner’s almost ready. Your sweetheart will be waiting for you when you get back, I promise.”

You blushed and he rolled his eyes. No matter how many years you had spent with the Ancunin family, acknowledgement of your relationship with Astarion always brought heat to your cheeks, just as it had when you were kids and in denial about liking each other. 

Astarion left the kitchen and you helped his mother set up the dining table. Halfway through, his father, Thesan, came in—also complaining about the rain.

“Like father, like son,” Astarion’s mother whispered to you before going to greet her husband. You watched with a smile; with their greeting hugs and forehead kisses and the respect they held for each other, it was their marriage you and Astarion strove to emulate.

Astarion surprised you with his arms around your waist again and a gentle kiss to the nape of your neck. “Smells amazing, darling,” he whispered to you. He peppered kisses down your neck and to your shoulder.

You giggled. “Keep that up and you’re going to wipe away the makeup I put on to hide all the hickeys you left on me this morning!”

“Ah, so that’s what’s missing! I knew something looked different,” he teased. He kissed your lips softly. 

“Behave yourself,” you reminded him, only half-teasing. 

Astarion greeted his father as the four of you sat down around the table. You passed dishes back and forth, serving yourselves, while Astarion’s father talked about his day and the rulings he’d made. Astarion tensed when he asked how his day at court had been. He took his time responding.

“Contentious,” Astarion finally decided. “There’s a group of Gur who aren’t too pleased with a ruling I made today.”

Thesan raised an eyebrow. “A ruling? What about?”

“Trade regulations,” Astarion said idly, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. There has been worse backlash over bigger problems than not being able to sell the teeth of vampires they’ve caught and brutally murdered.”

His father nodded. “The Gur can be a nasty sort, anyway,” he said, “and quite vicious.”

You pursed your lips. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t mean going against the Gur’s, I don’t know, is monster hunting a lifestyle? Doesn’t matter—ruling against them in this capacity, doesn’t that technically mean…the ruling protects vampires?”

“Not at all, darling,” Astarion assured you. “It doesn’t prevent them from hunting vampires, just from selling their teeth. Talk amongst my coworkers suggests there’s someone of high standing who wasn’t too pleased to find a necklace of vampire fangs in for sale by a Gur vendor.”

Thesan raised his brows. “So is this a ruling made by, or in honor of…pressures from, ah, on high?”

Both you and Selwynn tensed. The word bribery was never used by the two men, but it didn’t take much to deduce they’d both taken bribes for certain rulings before. It made your gut twist unhappily; Thesan could do what he wished, but you had hoped Astarion would avoid following in his father’s slowly corrupting footsteps. 

“Not exactly,” Astarion said, his tone too light to be completely honest, which was all you needed for confirmation. “I’m not lining my pockets by making this decision, that is. But I’d rather there not be vampire teeth on the market, especially if it can put the rest of us in danger.”

You cast your eyes back to your plate. You could hear the tone in Astarion’s voice, the one that suggested he didn’t really believe what he was saying, only rationalizing it. You loved the man, but, gods, how you hated how easily swayed he was. 

“Anyway, that’s beside the point—but no, the ruling doesn’t benefit the vampires in any way. Vampires aren’t even mentioned aside from the teeth!” Astarion added with a little laugh. “The Gur are angry because they believe it benefits the nobility. But it’s really neither here nor there, I think.”

Thesan was nodding his understanding. “Likely because there are no similar restrictions on the nobility.”

Astarion shrugged. “I think all we need to do is provide that restriction to calm the waters a little. Fair is fair?”

“Now, be careful with that, son,” Thesan said. “Nobility don’t take kindly to being told what they can and cannot do.”

You looked up sharply. “But won’t letting them do whatever they wish lead to—to outright lawlessness? It starts small, then works its way up to egregious crimes, all in the name of ‘an eye for an eye’?”

His father inclined his head to you with a small laugh, much deeper than Astarion’s. If it weren’t for the eyes they shared, the similar way they held themselves, and the fact that Astarion’s voice sounded just like his father’s when he got angry, you would question whether or not they were really related. “Quite the quick thinker you are, dear. Perhaps it would, though I doubt it. Most nobility would rather trade in bribes, political threats, and lies than get their hands dirty.”

You frowned. “Yet the Gur trade in death threats. They aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. Why not cater to them? They pose a bigger threat!”

“Darling, nobles are quite dangerous, even if they don’t seem that way,” Astarion said, reaching a hand out to you and a nervous glance to his father. Clearly, he could also sense the argument that was about to happen. 

“The Gur are dubious, deceitful, morally inept vagrants,” Thesan replied, his tone stonier than before. “Nobility are predictable; Gur are not. We know how the nobility will respond, but the Gur are a wild card. It’s best to stick to what you know.”

“So you’d trust the knife you can see versus the one hiding in the shadows? Even though the one in the shadows has the advantage?” you pressed, a mix of confusion and anger welling up inside of you. Astarion winced. 

Thesan was clearly fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “You’re assuming one has to be trusted,” he said. “But neither should be. All a magistrate should trust is himself.”

You sighed, putting down your fork. “I’m sorry, Thesan, but it really doesn’t seem that way. It— Forgive me, but it seems like you’d rather trust the corrupt, and the known corrupt, at that, rather than take a chance on people who are…brutally honest.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you insinuating that I—”

“Father,” Astarion cut in, his voice sharp. “She’s not insinuating anything. She’s making clear what her perspective is.”

“I don’t need her perspective, I’ve been a magistrate—”

“Well I value it!” Astarion snapped. He clenched his jaw and, calmer, continued, “I value her opinions on everything and have asked her to share them. I find it helps me make informed decisions—ones not mandated by our coworkers and higher ups.” 

Miffed, Thesan snapped, “I hardly need the input of children, Astarion! You may ask for her opinion, but I have no need for it and I will not be told how to do my job by—”

“That’s enough!” Selwynn said suddenly, loudly, smacking one hand on the table. You all jumped. “Neither of you are at work. This is a family dinner. Thesan, they may be young, but they are wise. We will listen to them without belittling them. And both of you are reasonable men who can solve things without shouting at each other—and ought to do it anywhere but my dinner table! As for you, my dear, you would do well to remember that Astarion and Thesan are not the same man, and while my son will take advice, my husband will not.”

You bowed your head to her. “Yes, Selwynn. I’m sorry.”

Astarion’s cheeks and ears were pink. He looked like a scolded child. “I’m sorry, Ma,” he said quietly. Selwynn took his hand and squeezed, then kissed the top of his head.

Thesan got out of his chair and went around to his wife, kissing her cheek. “My apologies, my love. My temper got the best of me.” He looked at you beside her. “I’m sorry, dear, I shouldn’t have dismissed you so easily. I will think on what you’ve said.”

You inclined your head in thanks. 

As Thesan returned to his seat, Selwynn cleared her throat and turned to you. “So! Tell me, my dear, how has your work at the tavern been going?”

Relieved the topic had turned to something far less contentious, your shoulders relaxed and you found yourself smiling. “Much the same as always—the same regulars with mostly the same problems. Kit’s finally getting a divorce but she’s terribly upset about it because she’s afraid her husband’s going to get the house. Lianon broke his foot and is convinced the only painkiller he needs to take is alcohol. Oh, I almost forgot! Tivi was asking after you, she wants to know how your newest sewing project is going. I said I’d ask, but I didn’t tell her you’re sewing my wedding veil, I knew she’d start screeching and we were quite crowded.”

Selwynn beamed. “Oh, it’s going quite well! I’m just finishing up on the trim—a string of lilies going around the edge, to match the ones in your crowns and on the tables. I must show you after dinner.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Am I allowed to see it, or must I wait until the big day?”

“You can see the veil, just not the dress, and especially not on me,” you teased.

“Are you still working as the barkeep?” Thesan asked, rejoining you all at the table. “I’m surprised you haven’t managed to swoop the whole business out from Barnabas’ feet, now that he’s getting up there in age.”

You bit back a grin. “Actually, he offered it to me. They want me to become the tavernkeeper once he retires.”

Astarion looked up. “You didn’t tell me that!”

“I only found out today,” you said apologetically.

“Do you want to take it?” he asked, biting his lip.

You shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“It would be a wonderful opportunity,” Thesan said. “Taverns are excellent moneymakers, even in a city like Baldur’s Gate, where there’s plenty of them. If you run it right, you could make it the best one around.”

You glanced at Astarion. He nodded encouragingly. “Well…Astarion and I have been talking, and… I’ve been considering leaving the tavern after we get married.”

Thesan propped himself up on his elbows. Selwynn shot him a look and he put his hands back in his lap. “Are you looking for something that might be more…sustainable, long-term? Or perhaps a higher wage?”

“Possibly?” you said. “I’m not exactly sure of the details yet—how long I’d stay at the tavern after we get married, for instance—but I think…” Astarion nodded again. “I think mostly I want to leave for better hours. It’s difficult enough when Astarion works in the day and I mostly in the evening as it is now, even with days like today when the other barkeep is working, but it absolutely won’t be manageable once we—” You licked your lips. “Once we have children.”

Selwynn gasped. “Are you expecting?”

“What? No!” You blushed profusely, glancing up at Astarion, and wondered how many times his parents had overheard you making love. “No, not yet. But we’ve been talking about it, and we want to start a family.”

Selwynn shrieked with joy. “Oh, that’s wonderful news! May the gods bless you with a babe, when the time is right for it.”

Thesan clapped Astarion on the back. “Congratulations, my son!”

Astarion blushed. “She’s not pregnant yet, Dad, wait until after the wedding!”

“You’ll tell us?” Selwynn asked. “When you are with child?”

You nodded. “As soon as we know for certain. But Astarion’s right—we won’t be trying until after we’re married.”

“Don’t be too discouraged if it takes a while, dearie, it took us almost a hundred years to conceive Astarion, and we were trying quite diligently,” Selwynn said, patting her son’s shoulder. He looked slightly mortified to learn this about his parents’ sex life. “The gods are careful with which elven soul they will give you to nurture.”

You finished dinner quickly and each of you helped clean up the mess of the meal until you told Selwynn and Thesan to sit down, and you and Astarion did the rest together. 

“They took it well,” Astarion murmured in your ear. 

“Of course they did, they want to be grandparents. Though I’m surprised they already want that this early—you’re only thirty-nine, you’re still technically their baby.”

Astarion sighed. “My mother misses holding an infant.” 

The two of you lapsed into comfortable silence, you washing dishes and Astarion taking them from you to dry them. Eventually, he restarted the conversation by kissing your head.

“Darling?”

“Hmm?”

“What you…what you told me this morning…” He hesitated, blushing like a teenager again. “Are you trying to get a headstart on having our family?”

You smiled. “Oh, goodness, no. I very much doubt we’ll get that lucky, and I’m quite certain I’m not ovulating. It won’t happen this time.”

“You’re ‘quite certain’ you’re not?” he asked. “How long have you been tracking it?”

“Several months now. I’ve been…wanting to tell you to—” You lowered your voice, even though you were already speaking at a low volume. “—finish inside me for quite a while, but I didn’t want to risk getting pregnant before our wedding. But I know that won’t happen tonight.”

Astarion kissed your cheek. “Have I told you you’re perfect?”

“Nearly every day, honey,” you laughed, leaning into him. 

“That simply will not do—I must tell you twice a day how perfect you are, darling!”

You giggled. “Careful, Asty, I might start to believe it.”

He lifted your head with two fingers under your chin, a warm smile in his eyes. Leaning in for a sweet kiss, he whispered, “I certainly hope you do.”

~❊~

The evening went on with talk of your wedding plans and the presentation of your unfinished veil over a couple of glasses of the wine Astarion had brought home. His parents retired to bed first while you and Astarion remained sitting in front of the hearth, sharing a comfortably padded lounge chair, the fire’s warmth making you sleepy in his arms and the orange glow turning him into a sun god. 

Astarion lazily swirled his wine in his glass. “Do you want to go upstairs?” he asked. You gave a noncommittal hum. “As much as I love it when you fall asleep in my arms, sleeping in this chair, though cozy, will do our backs no favors.”

You slowly extricated yourself from his arms. “Oh, alright. Upstairs, then.” You stood up and stretched. He finished the last of his wine and you both picked up the glasses and recorked the bottles. With that taken care of, you held out your hand for him and walked up the stairs together. 

While you washed and dressed for bed in the washroom together, you asked him, “Do you want to go out on the roof tonight?”

“There’s a chill in the air, and you’re wearing a short silk slip,” he said, sliding his hand up your inner thigh for emphasis. “You’ll freeze to death. Besides…” He leaned closer to your ear and squeezed your thigh. “There are better things for us to be doing.” His fingers found the gusset of your panties and he tsked. “You won’t be needing these tonight, darling.”

You leaned into his chest as his fingers kept stroking your covered slit. “Honey… Let…” You swallowed harshly. “Let me finish washing up first.”

He kissed the shell of your ear. You bit back a whimper. “I’m just going to make you dirty again, darling… Sweaty and slick and filled with me, in every way possible.” He began nibbling on the lobe of your ear. 

“Asty,” you mumbled, craning your head up and pulling his mouth down to yours, your back to his chest. You spread your legs, letting him cup your clothed mound in his hand. He kissed you hungrily, moving his hand from your thigh to your ass. He squeezed gently and gave you a light smack before holding you around the waist.

“Look at us in the mirror,” he murmured into your lips. You glanced into the mirror and found him already staring at your beautifully twisted body. You whimpered instantly, seeing the appeal. Your back was pressed to his bare chest, the hand cupping you from behind visible against the dusty blue silk, your back arching slightly off of him and pushing your tits forward, your hard nipples poking through the fabric, color flushing both of your faces, his plump lower lip still between yours. He whispered, “You’re so beautiful when you’re desperate for me, my love.”

“I’m not desperate yet, hun,” you whispered.

He chuckled. “The pink on those ears says otherwise, darling.” He traced your ear again.

You moaned and pushed your lips firmly against his, your tongues sliding together. He brought his hand up from his waist and squeezed one of your tits. You whimpered into his mouth and he grinned. He kneaded your breast over your slip and began stroking you through your panties again. Something about having him so close but not really touching you was making you crazy. You writhed against him, bucking your hips with need, moaning into his mouth.

“You’re so wet for me, so needy even through these panties,” he murmured. “You horny little thing…”

Astarion wasn’t keeping his composure, either. He panted into your mouth, his erection pressing into your back through his boxers. Every so often, his hips stuttered against yours; you knew it wasn’t intentional. He groaned into your mouth, finding your clit and stroking. You moaned happily, your body trembling in response.

“Oh, gods, darling—can I touch you? Can I really touch you?” he moaned. 

“Yes, please, fuck,” you whimpered.

Astarion moved quickly. He shoved your slip underneath your breasts, his hand gripping one and toying with your nipple. At the same time, he slid your panties to the side and stroked your slit with a single finger. You moaned in tandem. Astarion sunk a finger into you and began rubbing at your walls, pulling quiet whimpers from your lips. You threw your head back and he immediately began kissing his way down your neck and over your shoulder.

“That’s it, love,” he murmured against your skin, “just feel good for me… Just feel good and be beautiful. Look at you…”

The reverence in his voice made you glance in the mirror again and you understood his sudden attraction to the column of your neck. You leaned into him, sighing happily against his open-mouthed kisses. 

“Need you,” he murmured, nipping at your skin until fresh bruises began to appear, overlapping with the ones he’d sucked into your neck this morning. He tucked you against his body. “Need more of you.”

You turned in his arms, whining at the loss of his fingers inside of you but still enjoying the way he held you to his chest like you’d disappear if he let go of you. “You can have me, Asty.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Here? Against this mirror?” He pushed you against it, pushing your slip up to your waist. He rubbed his palm over your ass and gave you a soft, affectionate smack. “You do look rather gorgeous bent over the basin like this.”

You locked eyes with him in the mirror, holding yourself up on the marble basin’s rim. “You can take me however you’d like, honey. Just as long as you finish inside me.”

Astarion grinned at you through the mirror. “Oh, darling, I intend to.” He kissed your shoulder. “As many times as I can.”

You moaned and pushed your ass against his erection. “Asty, please!”

“Patience,” he cooed softly, but he still slipped one finger under the waistband of your panties. He slowly pulled them to the side again to expose your cunt to him. Cool air hit you and the string of arousal still connected to your panties. You shivered, whimpering slightly.

Astarion stepped away from you for a moment, admiring the mess you were making between your legs. “Gods, darling, you’re so fucking wet.”

“Just fuck me already,” you whined.

Through the mirror, you watched him scramble to yank his boxers down. As soon as his cock was free, he pushed the head against your entrance. He looked up at the mirror, watching your eyes roll back as he filled you. A soft moan escaped him as soon as he was fully seated inside of you. He bent over your back and kissed your pointed ear. 

“Does that feel good, darling?” he murmured. Your entire body shuddered beneath him, your walls clenching around him. He made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a moan. “Guess it does.”

Astarion wrapped his arms around you and began thrusting slowly. He buried his head in your neck, moaning into you. You panted heavily, whimpering with every slow, deep thrust. You grabbed one of his hands and laced your fingers together, moving to meet his thrusts. 

“I love you like this, darling,” he murmured. “This position… You feel so tight around me.” He pressed soft kisses to your neck and shoulder. He met your gaze in the mirror and smiled at you, a sweet smile that made your heart melt. You turned just enough to kiss his cheek; he adjusted to catch your lips with his. He moaned into the kiss, one hand snaking up to grope your chest. You whined, pushing your breast into his hand and your ass into his pelvis. 

“Honey,” you moaned, the arms holding you up beginning to shake. 

He nibbled briefly on your ear. “Do you want more, my love?”

You whined and nodded. He let his other hand slip from your waist and to your clit. He began rubbing gently, adding pressure with every swipe. You moaned breathily, your legs beginning to tremble.

“Astarion,” you moaned, clinging to him. “I love you.”

He kissed the back of your neck. “I love you, too, darling.”

The words became a mantra falling out of your mouth, timed with every single one of his thrusts: “Love you love you love you love you love you love you love you!”

Astarion whispered into your ear, “You’re so close. Cum for me, darling. Cum on my cock. I’ll…I’ll follow you.”

You whined, surrendering to the feeling of his hand on your clit and his cock hitting all the right spots. With a few more thrusts, your moans grew louder, your breaths shorter, and your entire body shook as your walls clenched around his cock. You unraveled around him, crying his name loudly.

Astarion groaned and buried himself deep inside of you, biting his lower lip as he came inside of you, panting. He rubbed your clit until you cried out, overstimulated.

The two of you panted when your orgasms had run their course; he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly, both of you still bent over the basin. You locked eyes in the mirror.

“Are you alright?” he whispered. 

You nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m perfect,” he murmured, kissing the side of your neck. “Gods… You have no idea how good that felt, darling. Inside of you. Hells, I… I want to do it again.”

“I told you that you could,” you reminded him and he grinned.

“Bed?” he suggested. When you nodded, he pulled himself off of you and slowly pulled out. Your mixed releases slid down your legs and you groaned in surprise and discomfort. Your slip fell back into place as you stood straighter, your legs trembling even more. 

Astarion offered you his hand. “Come here, my love. Let me help you.”

You let him hold you up as the pair of you went to bed, already kissing and giggling again like teenagers. He gently laid you down in bed and crawled over you. He covered your neck and chest in kisses, once again tugging the neckline of your slip down to kiss your tits. He licked your nipple and then sucked on it gently, once again sliding his hand between your legs and rubbing his fingers along your soaked slit.

You curled your fingers into his hair, pulling him back up to you and kissing him heartily. “My turn,” you whispered into his mouth. You wrapped your legs around his hips and flipped the two of you. You straddled his thighs and pulled your slip off over your head.

Astarion grinned, putting his hands on your ribs. “Darling! Aren’t you gorgeous? I could get used to this view.”

You smiled, reaching down to pump his cock. He moaned. “This view belongs to you, Asty, don’t you forget that,” you said. “I’m all yours.”

His hands dropped to your hips as you lifted yourself up and shuffled forward, positioning yourself over his hard cock. He moaned happily as you sank down on him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he threw his head back. 

You moaned, putting your hands on his shoulders to balance yourself. You began to bounce on him, letting him sink deeper every time you came back down until you were sitting on his pelvis. You began to roll your hips slowly and Astarion moaned loudly, his fingers gripping your hips so hard you knew there would be bruises come morning. 

“Oh, honey,” you moaned. “You feel…so damn good.”

He helped you ride him, guiding your hips with gentle hands. He twitched inside of you, his heaving breaths becoming soft, barely concealed whimpers. You smiled as you bounced on him and leaned back to give him a better view as he slid in and out of you.

“You look so beautiful with me inside of you, darling,” he moaned. He grazed his thumb over the bulge of him visible in your stomach. “Gods, look at that…”

“Honey,” you moaned. “Asty. Asty, I’m so damn close already!”

He chuckled. “I can feel it, my love, I can feel that pussy clenching around me. Just cum for me, I want it.”

You huffed in protest. “Not until you do.”

“Darling—”

“I’m taking care of you,” you insisted. “Let me do that for you, Asty. Cum for me, and I’ll cum for you.”

His face softened. “You’re perfect, you know,” he whispered, lifting his knees up to give you something to rest against as you bounced. He held your hip with one hand, then held your hand with the other. His eyelids fluttered, torn between wanting to close them and wanting to watch you, and he let himself relax against the bed.

You brought one hand from his shoulder to his cheek. You caressed his cheekbone softly. “You’re so beautiful, my love,” you murmured, the first of many sweet nothings to encourage him along. “You’re so pretty when you let yourself get lost in me, when you let the pleasure wash over you. Just do that for me, honey, just let go and take what you need from me. Relax here in bed with me, handsome. Finish up, I’ll be here when you’re ready. I’ll help you ride it out. I love you, more than anything in this world. I love you.”

Astarion threw his head back with a loud cry, his hips stuttering up into yours. He came hard, the warmth of him filling your cunt until he began to leak out of you. You sat on his pelvis and reached a hand down to your clit to finish yourself off. Despite his deliriousness and the tears sliding down his cheeks from the force of his orgasm, he slapped your hand away and put his own thumb to your clit until you convulsed on top of him and came on his cock.

The moment he could, he pulled you off of him and into his arms, wrapping you in a warm embrace and covering your entire upper body with kisses, murmuring an “I love you” between each one. You let yourself melt into his hold, cuddling into him and relaxing even more with every kiss. 

You eventually wriggled around until you were laying next to each other, still staring into each other’s eyes. You brushed your hand through his curls, putting them back into place with your fingers. 

“Hi,” you whispered. “Feel okay?”

He smiled at you. “Never better, darling. That was…amazing. Thank you for that.”

You kissed his cheek. “Well, I figured it had been a while since I’ve gone for a proper ride on you—it was long overdue, and I thought we’d both appreciate it.”

“You thought correctly,” he murmured. He tackled you in a tight, warm hug. You hummed happily, curling your arms around him and wrapping your legs into his until you were as close as you could get to becoming one. You slowly worked your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp until he began to very nearly purr. He rubbed your back, occasionally pressing dainty kisses to your forehead, and you returned each kiss with one of your own. Eventually, he pulled back and asked, “Are you up for one more round?”

You grinned at him. “Absolutely, hun. I thought you might have more in you than you were letting on.”

He blushed like he hadn’t just cum inside you twice. “I could have gone without it if you didn’t want to!”

You giggle and drag your finger up the underside of his already semi-hard cock. His eyes rolled back into his head and his entire body shuddered. “Oh, really?” 

Astarion whined, the sound not quite human. His chest heaved. “Darling… Gods, that feels good.”

You kissed his nose. “Wanna know what else I haven’t done in a while?” You pushed your lips against his as he nodded, muffling his hum. Into his mouth, you murmured, “Sucked you off.”

Astarion groaned. You took advantage of his open mouth and pushed your tongue into his mouth. You rolled him onto his back again and crawled on top of him, never once breaking the wet, sloppy kiss. You wrapped your hand around his cock as you kissed him and pumped him idly, careful not to set a pace and let him get used to your touch. He whimpered into your mouth, his cock twitching into your hand every time you slid your hand up to his tip. Only when he was hard enough that you knew it was starting to be unbearable did you break the kiss. He whined but let you shimmy your way down his body until you sat between his spread legs.

“May I?” you asked, locking eyes with him as you settled, your face inches away from his leaking cock. You let yourself admire the view of his heaving chest, his entire body flushed with need, his dick red and angry and oh so tempting.

“Y-yes, please,” he whispered, gorgeous with his hair tousled from your hands, his ears pink, his lips kiss-bitten, and his pupils blown.

“Thank you, Asty,” you whispered, pressing your lips to the skin of his V-line. You kept kissing just around his cock, never quite reaching the base, until he twitched and pre-cum began to dribble down his length without you even touching him. Only then did you take mercy, licking him from the base up to his tip and taking his head into your mouth. He keened loudly, arching off the bed like he so often made you do. 

Seeing your lover get so lost in everything you were doing and enjoying every second of it made your entire body warm with joy and arousal. The wetness between your legs was obscene for having not been touched or teased for so long, but you weren’t surprised; Astarion enjoying himself was more than enough reason for you to be as excited as you were. His ecstasy was always so godsdamned beautiful—not unusual for an elf, of course, but you liked to think your fiancé was special in this aspect. 

You took him deeper, licking the underside of his cock as best as you could as his girth filled your mouth. He whined and bucked his hips involuntarily.

“S-sorry,” he moaned, throwing his arm over his eyes, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

You popped off of him for a moment and took his hand. “Don’t be sorry, my love. Take it. Take what you want. I’m here to give it to you, hun.”

He whined again and thrust his hips back up, simultaneously trying to wiggle closer to you. You giggled and took the hint, taking him back in your mouth and sucking. He stayed still for a few more moments, letting you please him, but then you felt his hand in your hair and you paused in your movements. He started to thrust slowly into your mouth, not deep or hard enough for you to choke but enough for you to really feel him in your throat. You moaned around him with every thrust until he became more frantic.

“Darling!” he cried. You glanced up to find silver tears on his flushed cheeks and pulled back, seeing the overstimulation on his face. “Please, my love, I need— I need to fuck you again. I need to be inside you.”

Without a second thought, you sat up and caught your breath from where you sat between his legs. He took a second before sitting up and pulling you on top of him. He pushed inside of you easily and chuckled breathlessly.

“Someone’s wet,” he teased. You didn’t have the energy in you to respond as he started thrusting. You went limp in his arms, collapsing onto his chest and focusing only on the feeling of him pumping in and out of you. He held you tight, both of you clinging to each other as you chased your releases.

Astarion adjusted his legs slightly, lifting himself up, and his cock hit just the right spot. You cried out and clenched around him, your hold on him tightening. He growled animalistically, pulled out of you, and flipped you onto your back. He folded one of your legs up and slid back inside of you.

You screamed so loud you were sure you had woken his parents—and perhaps the entire neighborhood—as he began pounding into you relentlessly. You could already tell you were going to struggle with walking tomorrow. 

Between pants, he asked, “Are you okay? Is this okay?”

You were out of breath to even attempt to speak, but you nodded and brought him close enough to kiss you. He took control of the kiss almost immediately, possessing you in every way he could: his cock in your cunt, his tongue in your mouth, his hand gripping your calf. You gave into him, letting him take you, relaxing against the mattress and trusting him with your body. 

Astarion took care of you, going only as rough as your body could take at this moment, taking his pleasure but granting you yours simultaneously. Your orgasm swept through you with a vengeance, powerful and hard. You arched your back, screaming as much of his name as you could get out before you ran out of breath, your fingernails digging into his back. Astarion let out a high moan as he followed you before you could ride out the rest of your orgasm. The two of you grabbed at each other, clinging desperately, panting and moaning and crying with pleasure. You felt tears on your cheeks and you honestly weren’t sure if they were yours or Astarion’s. 

At last, you came down from your high. You watched him in awe as he finished his, slowly and gently thrusting into you until he was spent. He gently lowered himself on top of you and buried his face in your neck. You laid there, panting, struggling to form thoughts.

“Holy shit,” he muttered into your skin and you chuckled. Your arm shook as you brought your hand to the back of his hand and soothed him with a hand in his curls. 

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Holy shit.”

He looked up. There was a glassy look in his eyes. “Are you…are you okay? Did I go too hard? Was that too much?”

“I’m fine, hun. You were perfect. Gods, that was…” You whistled, unable to pick a word from your dazed mind to describe what you were feeling. 

Astarion giggled. “Yeah… It was.” He snuggled back against your chest, then asked in a whisper, “Can I stay inside you tonight?”

You raised a brow. “Do you want to?”

He shrugged. “If you’ll let me…yes.”

You kissed his forehead. “Sure. Let’s try it, see if we like it.”

Astarion perked up immediately. “Really?”

“Yes, why not? Here—pull out and let’s get cleaned up, then you can spoon me and go back inside, okay?”

He nodded quickly. You cleaned each other in the washroom, Astarion holding you up to keep you from falling on weak knees. He stole kisses as you washed each other and then tucked you back into bed.

“Do you want your slip?” he asked, climbing into bed behind you.

“No, just you,” you whispered. You heard his soft laugh and knew how pleased he was that you wanted his body directly against yours.

Astarion curled up behind you and lifted your leg with a gentle hand. With only the slightest bit of difficulty, he pushed himself back into you. He gave a few gentle thrusts, then settled and pulled you close and buried his nose in your hair.

You sighed happily. “You feel good,” you told him. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He kissed the back of your neck. “Good, I’m glad.” He rubbed your side with a gentle hand. “Tell me if it starts to get uncomfortable.”

You nodded. “Think I’m gonna fall asleep before that, actually…”

Astarion laughed softly. “Alright, love. Go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

Humming, you leaned back against him and let sleep take you with him still inside of you and wrapped around you like a warm blanket.

~❊~

Astarion was late.

He should have been home at least an hour ago—but you knew how long these court cases could take. There had been days before where he didn’t return home until after dark. You always hated those days, but he repaid you with lots of kisses and snuggles and a surprise date later in the week when he came home early. 

You were getting ready for work in your shared bedroom, finishing up braiding your hair in the mirror Astarion had fucked you against last night. Your core still ached, but your limp had mostly disappeared. You could always fabricate a story for your boss about twisting your ankle or something equally mundane—anything less embarrassing than having to admit your fiancé had fucked you within an inch of your life. 

You tucked the last few strands into place and checked your makeup one last time, making sure your very, very dark hickeys were covered. Unlike Astarion, who had left for work with one easily spotted above his collar, you would rather your coworkers didn’t ask questions about your sex life. 

Downstairs, the door opened. Astarion! You silently thanked the gods that you would see him before you left for your shift at the tavern. You heard low, murmuring voices and had the impression that the day had been a long, tiresome one. You’d give him a long hug before you left, even if he didn’t want to let go and it made you late. 

Selwynn screamed. Plates crashed. 

You were running down the stairs faster than you thought possible. You slammed into the door jamb on your way into the kitchen and found Thesan standing stock-still and dumbfounded in the middle of the kitchen, Selwynn on the floor and surrounded by shards of ceramic. She was sobbing. There were two unfamiliar men in the uniform of Baldur’s Gate officials standing in the doorway, somber.

“What happened?” you demanded. “Where’s Astarion?”

“I’m sorry, my lady,” said one of the men, taking off his hat. “I take it you are Astarion Ancunin’s fiancée?”

Knots formed in your stomach. “I— Yes, I am. What…what’s happened? Where is he?”

“I’m sorry, he…” He gained control of the sudden sorrow that crossed his features. “I regret to inform you that Astarion was found dead. Murdered, in fact.”

☞ ❊ ☜

[Image Caption: I do not give permission to repost, translate, or publish my work on any other site or app by anyone except myself. I do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI (for audio, art, or writing).]

Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin

Taglist: {comment and let me know if you'd like to be added to the Astarion taglist!} @wayward-hel @cheeslyy @ofmyth-andmagicart @neetheslayer @whispering-depths @freesidexjunkie @lightsinmycity @the0ldmann @gobbodoggo @oooof-ifellforyou @beeblisss @fangboner @aquaarietes @fiercest-eigengrau-skies @niqhtfell @call-me-nyxx @lueji-m @ceres-xiv @tricksy-trinity @graynstairs @rosa-rubus @ynisthatyou @thegoodwitchs-blog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @kiyastrf94 @vincemachina @silverfangmarks @ravenswritingroom @hinata7346 @hellethil @caramel-hufflepuff @beemiilk @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic

[kindheart525]

I can’t make a Smiling Friends next gen without showing what our own Allan Red is up to! Other than paying for abortions of course /j

Allan never really thought about having kids or starting a family. Sure, he has the occasional one night stand, but that doesn’t mean he expects them to go anywhere. Plus he doesn’t like little critters running around and invading his space, even without counting the especially bad experience he’s had with that. Once his coworkers start having kids and he’s forced to be around the rowdy little ras-cales, it only affirms for Allan that this is not the life he wants. He does not like kids and isn’t eager to get married either. In my personal headcanon he’s on the aromantic spectrum, but Allan doesn’t care to label himself like that. All he would say is that he’s simply not interested and he has better things to do.

But that doesn’t mean Allan is a total loner. He cares about his friends and enjoys a little companionship even though it’s not the kind most critters prioritize in their lives. So as the rest of his friends took on the title of “father,” Allan became a proud cat owner! But don’t call him a “cat dad” or the cats his “fur babies” or anything like that; he finds the whole thing to be pretty ridiculous. 

To him they’re more like roommates and close friends who he happens to feed and clean up after. They’re quiet, well-behaved, and nothing like his friends’ children (who aren’t allowed to meet the cats for the most part). He finds it insulting for them to be compared to children and arguably the cats are insulted by that too. I don’t know, their faces just all look like that. 

Here are the cats themselves:

Noodle (pronounced “New-dell”) is the Foreign Shorthair that Allan adopted when his friends’ kids were little and who he owned throughout his 30s. He fits the classic “pet looks like their owner” stereotype with his squinty, judgmental eyes, his long gangly limbs, and his unusual “honking” meows that kind of sound like Allan’s monotone voice. He’s very selective with his affection yet seems to think of himself as some kind of god; he’ll scratch almost everyone who touches him but will loudly demand that Allan carry him around everywhere like a king on his throne. Allan will argue with Noodle over who’s really the boss of the house, but oblige anyway to keep him satisfied.

Coca Cola and Pepsi (pronounced “Cokey Coh-lah” and “Bepis”) are a bonded pair of Sphinx cats who serve as Allan’s companions during his midlife. Much like Noodle before them (and most cats to be honest), they have a god complex and expect to be treated like royalty, which is amplified by these littermates egging each other on in everything they do. They’re like a sassy villain duo that you would see on TV, causing mischief in their stylish coordinated sweaters that Allan paid a lot of money for (“it isn’t a fash-awn statement, they have a medical condition-uh”). One minute they’re screaming at their owner to feed them and the next they’re looking photoshoot ready, so you can never expect what kind of mood they’ll be in.

Quesadilla (pronounced “Queue-salahd-yuh”) is Allan’s final and longest-lived cat. An ugly, scraggly black hairball since kittenhood, she was the runt of her litter and the last to get adopted, but ended up outliving all of them. Allan takes excellent care of all of his cats, providing them the best food, enrichment, and exercise he can reasonably afford, but even he is surprised at Quesadilla’s longevity. She makes it to almost 30 years old! He didn’t even have to spend a fortune at the vet to keep her alive like some critters do for their pathetic little dogs—Quesadilla would kill the vet herself if he did subject her to that. Even as she slowed down, even when she was blind, deaf, and could barely walk straight, she stayed alive out of pure spite.

[multiverseprincess]

cupid's season | j.h.s (AU) | fall season | blurb #1

multi's note: hey y’all! Cupid’s Season is a series, loosely based on Emma by Jane Austen and its various adaptations. (Yep, this is an AU)

This is the first thing I’ve posted in a while, feedback is greatly appreciated!

tw: amateur writing? unmatched energy (flangst), allusions to smut, fwb situations, mentions of frats, and social events/situations.

Reader has a nickname. Reader is a cis-genered fem.

--------x--------

Basking in the afterglow with Jake was always normal. Until it wasn’t. And when things got weird, Jake got talkative- he always was talkative but this, this broke her heart more than her brain-

“Dais”

“Jake”

“Do you think, do you think your room’s flooring is tilted?”

She got up from where she was resting on his chest, moving to perch herself on her elbow- looking at him, eyes slightly squinty.

“What?” she said, slightly scratchy from all the activity before

Jake could talk her ears off- about Javy’s new investment ideas, about Natasha’s new decor, and even his newest trip to the UK where he stopped by a grocery store and saw the chipotle sauce and it reminded him of her so he bought it for her without a second thought. Jake talked. But not about the things that mattered.

“I just think- that the floor might be slightly tilted,” he said enunciating the words carefully because her reaction and tone threw him off.

She groaned, laying back down, this time on her pillow- “Jake”

“Daisy” he breathed shuffling closer to her and pulling her into his arms. His body was always her safe space. Since he’d moved into the house next door with his aunt and uncle when he was 17.

It didn’t take a lot of effort from her end to make friends, ever. But Jake, Jake was a different story. He played the world around him until he got what he wanted. He radiated a gold-like energy that was hard not to be attracted to. He was warm too- always looking out for his sisters and calling his parents regularly. He stayed in his lane, for the most part socially, but once Javy and Natasha entered the scene, that changed. He walked into spaces, and you’d hear him before you saw him. At 19 he got into a frat and since, he developed a cocky sense of self, which she admits was earned.

Straight A’s, sports scholarship, and he had more to offer than just a good lay. He stayed true to his southern roots and was famous among the girls for his clean and golden boy personality. He was destined for success and he saw it through. Now, at 26- as a CEO and no longer her neighbor but her best friend/frenemy, she knew who he was. While, she managed to stay next to him, through all these phases- she still felt a sense of distance or rather a longing for more.

The benefits had somehow always been there. A quiet secret of sorts in their friend group- he wasn’t her first but there was something very intimate and absolute about what they did. Every time they fell into the sheets, whatever transpired, felt like both were telling each other something simple, something sure, and something that warranted all the affection that kept showing itself whenever the other needed it.

It felt like their bodies said- “yeah, this is why” Why for all the times he picked her up, went out of his way when she needed him, when he cleaned up her messes without asking questions, when he covered for her and when he bought her random ass gifts or cooked for her- just because.

Why for all the times she made him dinner when he straight crashed in her bedroom, after coming over after a hard day (sans sex sometimes), when she invited him to parties that she knew he would network the hell out, or when she drove him to his office for whole two months even though it was on the other end of the city.

Talking about it with words just never happened though. She wanted to bring it up many times and he knew but never pushed her. She wondered why he wouldn’t bring it up though. Maybe he didn’t feel the same way was the obvious conclusion for her. But one night when she drunkenly confessed to Nat, she vehemently denied it-

“He may love you more than his old lady” His old lady of course is his truck- the rare reminder he bought from Texas at 16.

As she lay next to him right now, she wasn’t not too sure.

--------x--------

[houseofperfecttaste]

First High

warnings: marijuana, fluff, platonic soulmates

"Alright Y/L/N time to get your cute little ass high," JJ said as he walked into Y/Ns room sitting on her bed. Y/N threw her phone to the side sitting up excitedly and watching JJ pull pre-rolls out of his pocket. Y/N had moved to Outer Banks six months ago and JJ was the first person she met. Well ran into actually.

She was walking along the beach enjoying the summer breeze listening to the waves crashing and then being knocked to the ground by a tall blonde.

"What the hell dude?" She looked up at the boy ready to give him a piece of her mind when she realized how handsome he was. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." He helped her up looking behind him to see Rafe and Kelce running onto the beach after him. "Try to get behind that tree without them seeing you. I'll tell them you went a different direction." She smiled looking at the tree a few feet away from them. JJ made himself blend in with the crowd before disappearing behind the tree. "Have you seen a blonde with cargo shorts, a white t-shirt, and boots?" Rafe asked looking around and Y/N played dumb shrugging. "I definitely saw him go that way." She pointed in the opposite direction where the boy was.

"Thanks. I'm Rafe by the way." He nodded to the other boy he was with to hunt the blonde boy down. "I'm not interested." You walked away from him leaving him dumbfounded. No girl had ever walked away from him. JJ saw the whole interaction smiling to himself seeing her reject Rafe. Rafe scoffed to himself joining Kelce in finding JJ. "Thanks for helping me out." JJ popped out from the tree leaning against it and smiling at her. "You're welcome. I'm Y/N." "JJ."

After that JJ took Y/N to meet everyone else and she instantly became part of the group. "I'll order us a pizza for when we're high. My parents left me some money for dinner since they're away." "Thanks, gorgeous. Hurry so I can see you stoned." JJ smiled getting everything out while she called the pizza shop. "Let's do this thing." You placed your phone down leaning towards JJ and looking at all of his items. JJ opened the window next to her bed before placing the pre-roll in her mouth and lighting the end. "Now inhale some of it but keep it in your mouth. Blow out after a few seconds." She did as instructed and started coughing immediately causing JJ to chuckle.

"Don't laugh at me." You playfully pouted and he did the same kissing your nose. "It's normal. And it was cute." JJ winked watching her take another hit and not coughing. "Good girl." He praised innocently taking the preroll from her taking his own hits. Y/N got up, turned her speaker on, and played music from her phone to fill the silence. "How ya feeling cupcake?" He asked causing her to giggle. He could see her eyes starting to get red and squinty and her lips staying in a smile. "I'm definitely feeling something." She giggled cutely causing JJ's heart to melt. He adored her not in a crushing way just in a soulmate-friend way.

"Want one more?" He raised an eyebrow at her moving to sit next to her and she looked over into his eyes and then down at the pre-roll. "Just one more." She smiled leaning into him before taking it and inhaling the smoke before blowing it out. "I like the feeling," Y/N said handing it back to JJ and making him laugh. "That's why a lot of people do it." His chest rose and fell with his laughs. JJ took his last hits putting the preroll out and getting off the bed dancing around and singing along to the song playing.

Y/N giggled uncontrollably at his antics grabbing his hands that he held out to pull her off the bed. JJ twirled her around dancing around her room with her a smile on her face the whole time and giggles leaving her mouth. "This is the best night ever." She had her arms wrapped around JJ's neck and his around her waist. "Mine too. I'm honored to be the first one to see you high." He moved a piece of her hair out of her face to see how red her eyes were. "God, you're so gone." He spun her around to face the mirror making her look at her eyes. "Thanks to you Maybank." She turned her head to smile at the boy.

"OOOOO can we watch Tangled?!" She exclaimed jumping up and down with excitement, at the moment JJ would watch anything she wanted to. "As you wish." JJ turned her tv on as she shut off the speaker. Y/N plopped down next to JJ pulling the blankets over her body and cuddling into his side. Y/N made it through most of the movie before she fell asleep on his chest with her arm wrapped around his torso and her leg intertwined with his. JJ held her tighter kissing the top of her head falling asleep himself.

[sickiehugs]

Hiya!

I saw your DRV3 boys taking care of you when you’re sick post and it was so cute!

I was wondering if you’d be willing to do the same for the DRV3 ladies?

Thanks in advance! ☺️☺️

Sure I can!! Ty for giving me this opportnity hehe. excuse any typos, i'm sick myself funnily enough. Oh and this is in a basic non-despair AU!

Danganronpa Headcanons: V3 Girls Taking Care of You!

(I'm not comfortable listing Miu, Tsumugi, or Angie)

Kaede:

She's best at keeping you company. Great at cheering you up and making you feel comfortable.

Entertains your silly tired ramblings that don't make any sense. Acts interested for fun, like, "Yeah? What happened next?" If you make a joke that makes no sense, she'll pretend to get it to make you feel good.

She might play her playlist of relaxing piano music to help you fall asleep!

She night even quietly tell you all about each song that plays, just as some background noise while you slowly drift off to sleep.

Kirumi:

Best at holding you accountable for things like overworking yourself or trying to do extraneous work while you aren't feeling well.

Makes sure you're resting and all your needs are met. Takes great care of you.

Doesn't let you leave bed or even sit up for too long until you're fully recovered. She'll ensure that you won't have to do anything at all, doing everything for you and treating you like the most delicate person in the whole world.

Himiko:

Cooks you warm, delicious meals that you can stomach. They make you feel warm and fuzzy and safe.

Probably the person who'll have you recovered the fastest.

Performs magic tricks for you to keep you entertained!

Once you've recovered, she'll probably say something like, "It was me, I cured you with my maaagic!" You can just say, "Sure you did, Himiko..."

While you're slightly delirious and loopy, you might not understand how some of her tricks work, and you might even believe that she really is magical. You'd be genuinely bewildered, and Himiko would be the happiest girl in the world.

It'll be really hard for her not to call everything she does for you a pain. She genuinely csres about you and she's glad she can help you, but it's just a habit she has.

Will probably snuggle up with you while you nap and nap with you as well!! Makes you feel warm and cozy next to her, she's like your personal sleepy kitten.

Maki:

Tenko:

Is pretty serious about your physical condition, and doesn't take any risks in regards to your health. Protective of you and makes sure you rest without a fuss.

She genuinely won't know what to do with your silly, delirious ramblings. She'd just be kind of dumbfounded, wondering how you could get any more stupid. But, like, in an affectionate way!

Secretly thinks you look adorable when youre sick and sleepy, cheeks and nose dusted red and sleepy eyes all squinty like a kitten's.

(This is only for girls or other femmes, as Tenko wouldn't even show up if a "degenerate male" asked for her help :/)

Is quite protective of you.

Wants you out of bed and back on your feet as soon as you're strong enough to do so, because she says that a little light exercise can do wonders for your health! She'll help you go on a lil walk :)

She's very encouraging! If you're ever frustrated by how little you can do in your state, she'll make sure you know that you deserve all the rest abd breaks you're getting.

Kinda obsesses over how cute you look when you're sick and sleepy. Adoringly commenting on every tiny sneeze or yawn that comes out of you, not being able to stand how incredibly adorable you are.

[jesse-cosay]

ik u said it doesnt have to be jesslake but. can you do jesslake w 20 👀

"Hey! I'm just catching up on homework." Jesse was sitting at the living room table. True to his words, papers were strewn all across the coffee table.

It was kind of a lot if Lake was being honest.

"Wanna sit with me?" He patted the floor next to him. Because of course he wasn't sitting on the couch. Hell, there were a couple of books on the couch behind him, too. He was using it more as a table than for its intended purpose.

"Sure."

Lake was careful as they stepped in between the stray pages. Squeezing into the small space just to his left.

They were pressed against his side, but even still. A few papers crinkled, underneath them.

"Sorry." They offered lamely. Jesse only shrugged, focusing back on the work before him.

Lake hadn't brought anything to do with them. Hadn't been planning to sit beside Jesse while he busied himself.

"Why is there so much?" They asked, looking over one of the abandoned worksheets they'd crumpled as they'd sat down.

"Well, I was on the train for quite a while."

Lake winced. Tulip had been gone for nearly half a year. Was there a pile of schoolwork waiting for her too?

How much homework did they have to catch up on? They hadn't gone to school their whole life. Lake tried not to grimace at the thought.

They quickly got bored of the worksheets. Unable to really understand any of the questions. Or read many of the words.

Instead, they focused on Jesse. Watching his brows furrow and brighten as he slowly puzzled his way through the homework. Bit by bit, getting it done.

It was cute. His hair was pulled back. Bangs tied up with a scrunchie. Lake could properly see his face now, not hidden behind his hair.

Actually, it looked a little silly. Yeah. Not adorable. It was like one of those little troll things that had funky hair that stood up all pointy. It was obnoxious. Not cute at all.

Sometimes it was all too easy to forget Jesse was a high schooler. That when Lake started school they wouldn't see him until the ride home. Especially when he did things like tying his hair up like a baby who couldn't eat without getting sauce everywhere.

It was nice though, getting to admire him in full. Not that Lake was staring. Or oogling or being weird or whatever. Jesse had invited them to sit with him. They were just passing the time. You could learn a lot about people just by looking- if you really took the time to look. Yeah. That's what it was.

There was a bit of skin, near the edge of his hairline, that looked different. The hair there parted near the- it was a scar, wasn't it? The skin was raised, a bit different than the rest. Discolored. It had to be a scar. Lake was pretty sure Jesse would have mentioned a skin condition by now.

They reached out. Running their thumb over the area. Feeling the rise and fall of skin curiously.

Brown eyes stared at them. Inquisitive and unblinking.

"I thought- there's a scar. Here." Lake didn't pull their hand away. Stuck to the spot with his gaze on them.

"Oh!" He smiled. His eyes squinty with the sheer force of it. Lake almost had to look away.

"It was when I was really young." He laughed, looking a little shy. "It was, ah, it was totally my fault."

"The neighbors had this dog- it was so cute-"

"You got bit by a dog?"

"Oh- no, no! Bandit was a sweetheart!" He assured them, leaning forward as he insisted. "But they had a wooden fence and I would climb the tree near it to see him and- well."

"You fell?"

"I fell." He admitted. "I'm just lucky it wasn't worse. I knicked my head on the fence on the way down. It was low enough that I didn't break anything."

Jesse shrugged awkwardly. "I stopped trying to get into their yard after that."

Lake laughed. "I knew you were always a rule breaker at heart."

Their hand still hovered near his face. Hesitant to pull away. Jesse hadn't shaken them off. Pushing into the touch more than anything.

"The flecs did almost have me there, for a second." He teased. "But you made a compelling argument."

Something in their chest squeezed. And Lake leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the small patch of skin on his hairline. "You were always going to make the right choice."

[mj2606k]

I Have Crossed the Stars to Find You

Book One, Chapter One - Syay

Syay - fate

Anything written in italic blue will be Na'vi words.

Anything just written in italic will be the translations of those Na'vi words.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

DISCLAIMER

This story (all books, any number of chapters) will contain things like death, pregnancy, smut, gore, anxiety, birth, violence, anxiety, etc. I will do my best to add in individual trigger warnings where they are necessary for chapters.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Rose

I watched as Hometree was destroyed through my screen in my room at Hell's Gate, my body shaking as I forced myself to cry silently, not wanting to further upset the guards stationed outside my door. Quaritch had ordered a number of soldiers to keep watch outside of mine and the other avatar-program trainees' rooms so we didn't try to leave to help the Na'vi people.

I watched as the natives scattered, feeling as if my whole world went into slow motion as I heard the large burning tree make a large crackkk noise before it began to fall. I was unable to stop the scream of terror as I watched hundreds of Na'vi people, children and mothers, get crushed to death as the tree fell.

I awoke suddenly, opening my eyes and blinking away the tears to try and clear my blurry vision. It had been nearly five years since Hometree was destroyed and the Na'vi people battled the military from Hell's Gate. Five years since I lost my mother, who nobody knew I was related to anyways, aside from a few of the well-trusted scientists that Grace had befriended in her time here.

Sitting up in bed, I sighed as I gave up on blinking the tears away and just wiped them away, just staring at the wall opposite my bunk for a few moments before finally standing up. I was stationed out in the Hallelujah Mountains, at a remote link site with a few of my fellow used-to-be-trainees. I had yet to link with my avatar, but the few remaining scientists of the avatar program that were allowed to stay shipped me out here with my peers.

I began to walk through the base, grabbing a towel to go take a shower before stopping momentarily to stare out one of the windows that overlooked the mountains. I brushed my bangs out of my eyes as I took in the sight, the sunrise always had a certain look to it that I could just never get enough of. It was beautiful, and despite the fact that humans couldn't even live properly on Pandora, I've always felt more at home here than I ever did on Earth.

Suddenly there's a warm breath just over the top of my head and I tilt my head up to see my fellow used-to-be-trainee, Marcus, looking out the window as I had just been doing. He continues looking for a few seconds then looks down at me, his hair still messy like it always is when he's just woken up, and judging by his eye bags and squinty eyes he hasn't had his morning coffee. He backs up after gently ruffling my hair and walks off to the small kitchen to start the coffee machine. I just walk to the bathroom, signing "Good morning" as I pass Marcus, he waves in acknowledgment and I head into the small bathroom, shutting the door behind me and hanging up my towel.

I let my hair down out of the bun I had it in and strip off my tshirt and the boxer-like shorts that I usually wear to bed, taking out my earrings and carefully setting them on the sink counter before starting the shower and stepping in after a few seconds.

✭・.・✫

Later that day I received word that my avatar body was ready and I would soon be able to link with it for the first time. Then not even three days later I was laying down in the link pod, closing my eyes as Max shut the lid and clearing my mind as best as I could before everything went silent for no longer than a few seconds.

I opened my eyes as I heard my name being called, "Rose? Rose! Hey, Rosie, how're you feeling?" one of my friends, Mina, said to me as I woke up, helping me sit up slowly while Marcus walked over and shined a light in my eyes before snapping a few times next to both my ears, then writing something down on a paper. I saw Max through the glass and smiled at him, bringing a hand up to wave at him then bringing that same hand close to my face to look at it when my mind registered that it was blue. The link worked!

Over the next few hours Marcus and Max helped me with some exercises and tests to help me get used to my Avatar body, then at around noon Mina helped me figure out getting changed in this body before we went outside to meet the boys in the crop field. As I walked over Tonio, another of my fellow used-to-be-trainees, caught sight of me and ran over, pouncing and tackling me, the both of us laughing as we began wrestling until I managed to pin him. Mina began scolding Tonio for already roughhousing with me when I was still getting used to the body, but he just ignored her and tried to throw me off of him before eventually tapping out, and only then did I finally get off of him and stand up, helping him up as well.

Mina started signing to Marcus about good motor control and healthy strength ability, but my attention was torn away from them as I heard a loud shriek come from above, far inside the tree line. We all went silent as we all turned to watch, Mina looking terrified as we all watched a huge orange, black, and yellow ikran fly over the base. I watched in amazement while Marcus and Tonio just went back to picking the crops like they'd been doing before we came outside, and if I squinted a bit I swore I could see a blue figure riding on the back of the ikran. I vaguely remembered something I'd heard Max say a few days after the battle, when he was talking about it with some of the other scientists and repeated it under my breath as I watched the ikran circle the base a few times before flying off again.

"Toruk. (The last shadow)"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

For visual aid, this is a general idea of what I picture Rose to look like. I made this using this picrew I found online.

[disorganizedkitten]

Bursting Bubbles of Bad Luck Chapter 7

Miraculous Ladybug | 2020 | 1,331 | Ao3 | Prev | Masterlist | Next

July 3rd-Boredom

So the whole discord chat idea? Magic was the less fun part. Felix should have let Allegra add him ages ago.

The Dead Fandoms Discord - Channel #Go-Go-Gadget-Chatroom

21:25

Snow Cone King: I’m just saying, Ics, that if we have to petition Walmart, we should at least do it with a lot of people.

Flutetastic: ...Almost everyone on this server and probably half of tumblr and a corner of twitter and a few people from school and my entire family

Considering my family includes you and all the cousins on your half too, that’s a lot of people.

Snow Cone King: Amb. Ics, ics you know what this means?

Speedster: Y’all, I think we should just use the online petition thingy. Get millions of email subscribers from all over the world.

Snow Cone King: My dad probably would totally sign a petition to get Inspector Gadget merch back in stores and then actually make it happen

Flutetastic: It’s sm fun to see you have one of those My Dad Is A Millionaire epiphanies.

Flutetastic: Als, why do you save your logic for the middle of our discussions?

Speedster: Gotta take the time to come up with my genius.

Snow Cone King: Show off.

Penny Could Kick Me: I find it very amusing to watch you guys casually say things like ‘one of those My Dad Is A Millionaire epiphanies’.

Snow Cone King: :Squinty eyes: i can’t tell if that’s an insult

Penny Could Kick Me: Is me laughing out loud at you insulting?

Flutetastic: Say no

Snow Cone King: I haven’t decided.

Fluteastic: FE AMB! Q ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

Snow Cone King: I think so?

Penny Could Kick Me: I love you guys.

Snow Cone King: That’s def. A compliment. Thank you.

The Dead Fandoms Discord - Channel #By-The-Power-Of-Greyskull

7:45

The Orange Death: Y’all I just found an article saying Damian Wayne and Adam are friends and someone needs to explain to me how that happened and if that means I missed a He-Man reboot

If so, Imma cri

Snow Cone King: Wait who has the rights to He-Man?

The Orange Death: Honestly I figured it was netflix ‘cause they just did that she-ra reboot but like

Apparently not?

Snow Cone King: I’m looking this up amb

Useless Ace: I thought the last reboot was in 2010?

Snow Cone King: I am apparently a very uninformed fan

There was a life action movie in 1987

The Orange Death: What

Snow Cone King: My to watch list is much bigger

I thought there were only the two versions? I don’t even know which versions they were now?

Useless Ace: Welcome to the world of fandom my friend. Experts are few, far-inbetween, and deserve mad respect bc I could care less to follow every bit of canon ever

Snow Cone King: Mood

Snow Cone King: As of dec 18, 2019, Netflix wants to do a CGI reboot

Useless Ace: Oh thank goodness. My biggest beef with the She-ra reboot was the lost potential for Adam/Adora shenanigans.

Snow Cone King: Have you watched it?

 Useless Ace: See above

Snow Cone King: :facepalm:

Actually I can’t judge, it’s still collecting dust on my to-watch list

Whatever

Snow Cone King: Reading more and Mark Hamill? Will be Skeletor?? That sounds like it'll go really well

The Orange Death: Y’all I have no idea but now I’m excited

About time He-Man came back

Snow Cone King: Fr tho, I can’t find anything about ties to dc or where he’d have met Damian

Flutetastic: Whack

The Orange Death: You’re telling me

Snow Cone King: You’re telling me.

Snow Cone King: I’m giving up. Some fandom guru who actually knows stuff can figure this out

The Orange Death: Valid

8:58

Snow Cone King: I lied and looked further and apparently not only are there multiple comicverse crossovers (Injustice vs the masters of the universe)(DC Universe vs Masters of the Universe)(he Man and the Masters of the Multiverse(I’m guessing is a crossover too)), but there’s a THUNDERCATS one too!

 My childhood will be complete as soon as I read that

Useless Ace: Dude that’s amazing

That’s going top of my to-read list

Snow Cone King: Mood

Gerald: Mood

The Orange Death: King, you really are a king, thank you so much!!!

Useless Ace: I rlly hope they give Adam a better costume like they did w/ Adora in the new reboot

The Orange Death: It’s a bit overdue

The Dead Fandoms Discord - Channel #Magic-Troubles

14:19

Snow Cone King: amb there’s a illusion lady in my lit class and normally Idc but she’s being so annoying and she keeps illustrating the whack tales she’s telling and the teach could care less but she’s directly in my line of sight and I wanna learn

Is there a nice way to ask her to stop?

Goldie Queen Of France: Tell her she’s making it hard to see. Rlly, just bc we’re magic doesn’t mean we have the right to be a jerk

Snow Cone King: I’m a jerk by nature

Just wanted to make sure

Flutetastic: King, you’re not magic

The Dead Fandoms Discord chat - Channel #Less-than-dead-corner

23:39

Killjoy: I’m just saying! Thanos’ plan was dumb!

Jackie of Jackaland: You didn’t even watch the movie

Killjoy: I don’t have to watch a movie to know that it’s dumb to kill people for resource management when another option is literally just to make more resources

Jackie of Jackaland: Valid point op but pls start watching movies and reading comics before you rant about them based off of someone else’s tumblr rant

Killjoy: That’s less fun

Jackie of Jackaland: You mean less headache inducing

Goldie Queen of France: @Killjoy @Jackie of Jackaland polite, remember? If you’re gonna throw hands, do it in the dms.

Killjoy: Right, sorry

Jackie of Jackaland: Sry

The Dead Fandoms Discord chat - Channel #Magic-troubles

20:13

Snow Cone King: Wait are trails colored different by sect or by person?

Coracle-Miracle: Supposed to be by person, but mine turned a purple/black after whatever happened with the heart

Snow Cone King: Ouch

Coracle-Miracle: It hurts less to use magic the more I use it, although Idk what that means. We’re just powering through

The Dead Fandoms Discord Chat - Channel #MURDOCH

4:30

Snow Cone King: If I ever leave Paris, I want to go to Canada

Mapleblood: Dude that is my entire life motto

‘Cept I’m Brazilian

Point stands

Speedster: Valid x100

The Dead Fandoms Discord Chat - Channel #Less-than-dead-corner

17:20

Flutetastic: Salut, t’all, should I watch Gravity Falls?

Pigtails ftw: I say yeah

It gets weird later on, so I never finished, but I liked what I saw in the beginning

Flutetastic: Awesome. I wanna see if it beats Paris rn

Pigtails ftw: What even is Paris rn?

Flutetastic: Mood

Pigtails ftw: No but like, legit. What’s going on over there?

Flutetastic: #That-Real-Life

The Dead Fandoms Discord Chat - Channel #That-Real-Life

17:23

Flutetastic: @Pigtails ftw so yaknow about the magic hearts thing?

Pigtails ftw: didn’t know they were real

Flutetastic: Common response

@Snow Cone King @Coracle Miracle @Rough-Glamor @Goldie Queen Of France come help me out

So the heart/miraculous of Modification got corrupted by somebody, so far no one knows if they’re a strong sorcerer or a lucky human, but it happened and is messing with all change mages.

Snow Cone King: And he uses the extra power to possess civilians and turn them into rampaging monsters who are supposed to hold the city hostage for the hearts of Destruction and Restoration

Coracle-Miracle: which are, btw, also the hearts of purity and chaos

Snow Cone King: How does that work?

Coracle-Miracle: Those two hearts are the strongest and have multiple tie-in clauses, like luck, but that translates to really dangerous and often selfish sorcerers so instead they split into sections within theirs. It’s really interesting actually! Jaclynn O’Conner wrote a really cool book on it, I suggest you read that.

Pigtails ftw: That sounds demonic

Flutetastic: It nearly is

[violettduchess]

This is a really nice bit of writing. What a great description of Jin.

I also got to the line about his eyes being "squinty" and remembered there being discussion about it. Judging by the context, I think they could have avoided the whole thing if they had described his eyes as "shifty".

I mean, I get why she did it. Sorry Jin, personal space needs to be respected.

[nofr1lls]

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BT @isomorbism !!!! THANK U!!

r U named after anyone: yeth but I have a couple of names and middle names and such all from family members. yiayia ily 🫶

when was the last time u cried: today actually I had a rlly important convo w ma we sort of had a breakthrough it was good and we don't rly ever talk to eachother like that,,, anyway. nobody asked I cry probably the normal amount honestly maybe once a month or so. usually out of frustration

do u have kids no

do u use sarcasm no. yes. nooooo. shut up

the first thing I notice abt people is whatever facet of them I experience first??? so it differs. idk what else this q means sorry

what's ur eye colour? nondescript non-brown colour. I get super squinty in the sun 👎👎

scary movies or happy endings: errrr where would one b without the other. scary ig.

any special skills? my response to this is always that I'm reaaaaally good at balancing one leg tiptoe like I can just stand there. go me

where were u born? same country I live now. I've only left once

what r ur hobbies ballet, local history, supermarket research, egg peeling, bushwalking, art. blogging and listening 2 tunes also 🤫

do u have any pets does my little(st) brother count. no.

do u/ have u played any sports YES and I'll give U a list rn. I've danced ballet since I was abt 8 and I rlly enjoy it but I have never aimed to get anywhere near professional. its a hobby I do well at the level I'm at. I played tennis all of hs and I was pretty good i was on a few rep teams and played outside school as well I miss it sooooooooo much. soccer and netball I was in teams with my friends sometimes and I sucked ASS but they were fun. in my last years of hs I did track and I'm going to take this opportunity to tell the mutuals that I can run really really fast I'd just like to share that me fact like b4 I ever started training I was the 6th fastest at the 100m in my whole school of over 1200 students including all of the track team kids (I didn't even have spikes 😩) when I was 15 ok just know that abt me and I'll never mention it again it is genuinely one of the things I'm most proud of ok whatever I've wasted my one proper talent bye

how tall r U average height FUCK!!! off

fav school subject prooobs history or art.

dream job dun have one comedian shut up shut up shut up shut up

congrats if U real to the end of this LONG ASS horse-music info post ily forever let's move in 2gether @dacergirl369 @groundbreakingdot872 @acasternaut @ivorysongbird

NO PRESH 2 DO THIS KIND OF TOOK AGES

[the-firebird69]

There's a lot going on it's a huge amount of things and it's too many to count there's enough people here to be a huge problem. They are having a lot of issues globally and the causing themselves problems and they can't seem to not do it it's going to be a war they're going to war with each other and now they're declaring at war the pseudo empire though is going to be gone and trumpsters leaving bja with the bag and the mess that they basically cost they have a big ego and not that much to post it and it's not really worked out we are in receipt of a lot of threats from them the ceaseless s*** and they won't stop and basically they think that they're right and we don't care about that we know they're wrong and what they're doing regardless of whether someone should be convicted of a crime or what have you they are not helping their own cars it has become a massive war and they can't afford it that leads us to what's happening.

--there are probably 1.3 billion in the rings and yeah it's up to billions there a huge amount of them and it's awful it's a giant Battle ground there's a huge amount of them dying and it's typical of this type of area they're fighting over it

-also has the fighting they noted that they are dying here and they're leaving its radiation it is at one point seven right now it is going to go up in about 5 minutes but it's been 1.7 for 30 minutes ever since he left the house this morning was 0.7 the whole time so he is in it and they are in it and they do not have resistance to this much radiation. The saying they do and it doesn't make a difference and it does make a lot of them insane pretty quick we are seeing that we're trying to sympathize as you know it's very hard to listen to some of you.

--as soon as making jokes and he says Mr handshet years ago and Mr hanchett says and it's Michael too we're talking about right now. And our son says how do you like to head up there to that nice hotel and we'll take a tour of the Tallahassee area with Ken and Justin and he says that would be terrific and our son says I need the car and some money it says I don't have either one it says crap because he just sits there and he drives very proficiently he says and he could be your chauffeur and her son says that's a terrific idea when you get out and you finally find your millions and by the time that happens I'll be security size and I've seen what they do they look around and squinty eyes I did the Brian he just squints back and leaves. So he likes to do things and not to make trouble and people are trying to make it seem like him and they're horrible. Couple other things are happening in addition to the battle in the rings

--there is a battle in war in Everglades and it's separate now because it's gigantic it is about 10 billion and it is the billions they're losing a lot of people here to death and finally there's some funerals and they're seeing the wrong and it helps we're also watching people cringe but really they don't have anything other than what they have here in front of them so they're kind of thankful it's a weird spot to be in the battles are raging down there they're at Sea they're in space land see air underground in the water and intense.

--we heard the clones call for reinforcements we thought it was curious they need to battle for this area they're all fighting each other over it and it won't do squat and everybody knows it this battle is going to wage on until there's no winners from this these groups we do have more about what's going on

--the Charlotte Park three are dropping today should be the final drop it's got a foot left and it will off gas 1.5 rad to punta Gorda 2.0 in fort Myers for a half hour each

--the quarter mile 5 will be sizzling until 4:00 p.m. it will off gas about four times and we're predicting 1:30 p.m. roughly 2:45 p.m. and 3:50 p.m. and 5:10 p.m. it's going to start up and it will ramp up and it will combine a little with the Charlotte Park not much those will stop sizzling pretty soon and we think it'll drop if not it'll probably add 0.2 rad. From 1:30 to 3:00 it will be about 2 RADS from 3:00 to 4:00 it will be 2.5 red from 4:00 to 5: 30 it will be three red a very high dose and our son will probably be inside and it's recommended

More shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

[chasani]

Kirby Roommates AU

Under read more as to not bother mutuals with long post

So in this world they all live together in the same contained area. Sure, there's a volcano over there. Sure, there's a snow mountain over there. But you need phenomenal cosmic power to travel there

I've had multiple ideas for the layout. Originally I had the idea they would all stay in one area boys in boys dorms and girls in girls dorm. Then I thought what about a whole section of dorms for the boys and a section for the girls, divided by a connecting lunchroom in the middle.

Now I've decided on (and yes girls and boy can and will be in the same dorm) soley because I wanted to put Marx, Magolor, Susie, and Taranza in a room together because of my one au where they live on the Lor Starcutter floating through space. So there's a dining room, the dorm rooms, the doors to the games, and the robotic version of Nova.

Let me elaborate, not everyone became a human. Or, let's say:

While Nova has a human form, they also have a small cat form and a robotic (gorey) lion like form (big cat).

As for why there's a robotic Nova? It's where the Milky Way Wishes (Kirby Super Star) cast lives!

It's a world where it's always 'night', 1 day there in 1 hour in the 'real world'. There's a latch on Nova that opens connecting the two.

When closed, they have there respective times and areas. When open, what would basically be a realistic version of the hollow form of Nova is there, pitch dark and with the walls. But ones the hatch closed that area is basically gone.

When I explained who lived there, I only specified the game.

The occupants consist of Marx, Sun, Moon, the 'Power Stars', and Nova

The power stars have phenomenal cosmic power, as well as the rest of the group, I'll gives names associated to the seven colors later.

Before you ask, 'Wait the sun and moon?'

The ones in the 'real world' are 'artifical' and basically if the sun and moon were to go to the 'real world' and they fought the 'artifical' sun and moon would basically act how they did in Milky Way Wishes.

For another thing, Marx lives in the, let's call it, Dream World

If Marx lives in the Dream World, then how can he be roommates with the others?

It's because he was assigned that room but it's too painful for him to stay.

Marx has the two forms:

Normal, which is his normal human form (but squinty eyes, they can never go back to full round unless the world is spell cast and reset)

Demon, same thing wings, eyes, you name it

Human and Demon appear Day and Night, forcefully. It causes pain to which as the wings are made from his bones so basically all his insides are reorganized.

So, solution? Real world when it's night and go to the Dream World other times

That's about 16 days in the dream world for about 8 hours in the real world, yeesh

If he's always in the night he wouldn't have to pain the transition between them

He's basically noctural, and even when he comes out it's only to sleep or eat, doesn't really interact with the others, they didn't even know he was there. They didn't know about the Nova hatch until robo Nova broke and the MWW cast escaped

Oh btw if one of the cosmo stars does leave Nova, the whole of Nova (Robo) and the Dreamworld will collapse.

That's the elaboration on that

Now elaboration on the General Dorm Area:

Kirby and Metaknight supervise

The dorms don't have bathrooms themselves, there are shower and bathrooms outside (separating boys and girl respectively, almost like a school layout but more dorms and different)

They had to take practice for these new human forms

They rarely go to their games, usually only for emergencies

I might post about this more, or design out about the main cast

Please ask questions! I'd love to answer and explain more on things I wouldn't even think to explain!

[asteriismos]

i also haven’t slept in like…. 2 days lol. like 48 hours of not rly even sleeping so…. LMAO i am a tad bit delusional.

i started writing half of my fic in italian and then realizing it wasn’t right

[autisticlancemcclain]

Mr. Snuggles

Keith/Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Pidge & Lance (Voltron), Fluff and Humour, 1.5k Words

Summary:

Lance had always had a soft spot for things that were outcasted. 

---

Keith shares an amused grin with Pidge when Lance’s humming fills the comms. Lance never remembers to mute himself when he was stationed somewhere, and he was physically incapable of staying entirely silent for long periods of time, so these stakeout missions were always filled with Lance’s singing. Sometimes, he talks to himself, making little jokes or skits that were always hilarious to hear. Right now, it sounded like he was humming a strange mashup of Uptown Girl and Party Rock Anthem, which was amusing on its own. Lance had an interesting brain.

“Everybody just have a good UPTOWN GIRL! She’s been living in — oh, aren’t you the cutest spider I’ve ever seen!”

Hunk’s sharp inhale over the comms reflected Keith’s own panic — Lance had a hard time remembering that some animals were dangerous, and should not be interacted with. Hunk has tiredly explained (dozens of times) that this is something that Lance has been doing his whole life — Hunk still gets nightmares from the time Lance just gently grabbed a fucking tarantula hawk wasp out of the fucking sky and started pointing out its features. Imagining it makes Keith a little green, and he doesn’t really have much of a problem with bugs. He can’t imagine how Hunk handled that particular situation.

“Aw, aren’t you sweet! Oh, hey, you’re not a spider — you have a separated thorax! What are you?”

The faint sound of their in-armour scanner went off, and all listening paladins sigh in relief. At least this way Lance will find out if the damn thing’s venomous and stay the fuck away.

“You’re a… sil-ti-fal-o-cus tel-o-fay?” Keith imagines the squinty face Lance makes when he is struggling to pronounce a foreign word, and smiles. Lance is adorable, that much Keith could admit in his head.

“Adorable, huh?” Pidge teases, winking at him. Keith scowls, going a little pink. Maybe not so much in his head, then. Oops.

“Oh, wow! That’s not a thorax, it’s a venom sac!” Lance laughs delightedly, and Keith and Pidge share another panicked look.

“Please don’t touch the fucking death spider, Lance,” Hunk whispers, knowing damn well it’s futile and Lance can’t hear him. Not that it would matter, anyway. Lance doesn’t really listen to anyone (except, shockingly, Coran, but Coran was just as much of a tree-hugging explorer as Lance, so that’s a bust).

“You know,” Lance continues, “Coran did say this armour is supposed to hold out against chemical attacks. And venom is a chemical. If there was ever a time to test it…”

“I’m going to kill him,” Hunk says, faux-casual. He turns his video on, showing how he’s smiling in the way that tells you he is actually very angry. “If this spider doesn’t poison him to death, I am going to stab him.”

“I don’t blame you,” Pidge says breathlessly, as she hacks through Lance’s helmet so they can see through his visor.

It takes a moment for the video feed to pop up, but everyone gasps sharply when it does. Instead of a tarantula-sized bug, like everyone was expecting, Lance is holding his hand out and making kissy noises at a spider the size of a fucking cat.

“C’mere, buddy! I won’t hurt ya. I don’t think you’re an aggressive beast who attacks on sight, and whoever wrote that in your file is probably a creep who can’t respect your boundaries and tried to scoop you up or something. Isn’t that right, buddy?” Lance is using the baby voice people often associate with, you know, babies. Or puppies. Things that are cute, not scary murderous poison bugs!

Keith realises he’s holding his breath when his eyes start to spot, and he quickly releases and tries to force himself to breathe normally. If this stupid fucking stakeout mission wasn’t so important, he’d send Hunk to go get his dumbass right hand immediately.

To Keith’s horror, the spider starts to listen to Lance, and advances closer. Lance makes a noise of absolute elation, and his flapping hands are briefly visible before he goes completely still in an effort to be more inviting for, and Keith can’t emphasize this enough, the deadly fucking venomous giant spider.

“Why can’t he be interested in plants, or something?” Pidge says weakly.

“Oh, he is,” Hunk assures darkly. “He’s just only interested in plants he feels are snuffed by others. You know. Plants that can kill you. He has oleander and water hemlock growing in his room back home, because he feels bad that no one else likes them.”

Keith can’t quite help his smile. Yes, Lance is ridiculous. But he’s just so cute. He’s a sweetheart. He just has so much love for everything and anyone — it’s no wonder that Keith fell for him. He’s always had a soft spot for the kind ones.

The spider finally crawls into Lance’s lap and he giggles, and despite everyone’s stress, the sound makes everyone’s lips quirk up.

“You are the sweetest, most adorablest, most wonderful spider in the universe,” Lance coos, scritching the spider under its chin.

In between it’s humongous fangs, Jesus Christ.

“I cannot wait to snitch on Lance and show this to Shiro and Allura,” Pidge comments. “I hope he gets in so much trouble.”

“You know he just has to throw out the puppy dog eyes and he will not even get a slap on the wrist.”

“…Yeah, that’s true.”

The three of them watch, speechless, as the spider seems to nuzzle into Lance.

“What species did he say it was?” Keith asks, bewildered.

“Way ahead of you,” Pidge says, searching through Lance’s scan history. “Holy shit, Lance scans a lot of things every mission. Like, thousands in the past month alone,” she mutters. “Aha! This thing is called a siltifalocus telofay, and of course it’s one of this planet’s apex predators. Because why wouldn’t it be?”

“Are they… usually this cuddly?”

“No, this thing says they usually attack on sight by spraying venom because they feed on fear.”

“Oh. Cool. Lance is canoodling a literal demon spider.”

“I mean, in his defense —”

“No, Keith, he gets no defense! I lose ten years every time he does this! I am seriously going to collapse one day!” Hunk interjects.

“In his defense,” Keith insists, looking pointedly at Hunk, “if the thing didn’t attack him on sight, then it probably doesn’t plan on doing so. He’s probably safe.”

Hunk frowns, but doesn’t argue any further. The three of them turn their attention back to Lance, catching the tail end of his one-sided conversation with the demon spider.

“— and I don’t think anyone on the ship is arachnophobic, so you should be fine, Mr. Snuggles! And your file says you feed on fear, so maybe you can even be trained to attack people! Oh, Keith will love that. Keith is our leader! He’s super cool and intimidating, but don’t let that fool you. He’s a softie, promise. He’s the tall buff one with long hair, you’ll know him when you see him.” Lance lowers his voice, whispering conspiratorially. “He’s the hot one, but don’t tell him I said that.”  

There’s a pause as the paladins absorb this information.

“Does he thinks he’s bringing that fucking thing in the castle?” demands Hunk.

“Did he name the demon spider Mr. Snuggles?” questions Pidge.

“Did he call me hot?” asks Keith.

Shiro’s voice comes from behind them, fond but exasperated. “I think that’s a yes for all three,” he says. Keith and Pidge whip around, and Hunk (still on the comms) looks his way.

“Did you get the guy? Is the mission over? Can we come back?” Hunk asks. 

Shiro nods. “Yeah, he ended up trying to escape through the South end, so Allura and I got him. He’s in cryo until we can ship him to Kolivan for questioning. Hopefully he has some good information.” Hunk is contacting Lance before the words are even out of Shiro’s mouth. Everyone watches the video as he answers.

“Hey Hunky-bear!” he chirps. “What’s up?”

“The mission is over, Lance, Shiro and Allura got the guy on the South end,” Hunk says carefully. “You and I can head back to the Castle now.”

On screen, Lance carefully sets down the demon spider, standing up. “Sounds good!” he says. “I’ll see you on the ship.” He hangs up before Hunk can say anything further (namely: “Lance, you are not bringing the fucking demon spider home.”)

He turns to the spider, patting his thighs and inclining his head towards Blue. “Okay, Mr. Snuggles. I read your file. You feed on fear, and there’s plenty of that where I’m going. In fact, I think you can be an asset! You haven’t hurt me, even though your file says you’re normally aggressive. All these are good things and indicate to me that you should come along with me to the castle. However. I have been lectured ad nauseam by Shiro and Allura about bringing strays home, and I don’t want to go through that again. But,” Keith can hear the grin in his voice, “they never said anything about stowaways! So I am going to board Blue, my lovely and amazing lion, and if you happen to follow me and I happen to not see you, well. Can’t help fate, can we, Mr. Snuggles?”

And with that, Lance strides over to Blue. Shiro sighs again.

“Well, at least I know he hears me when I lecture him.”

Mr. Snuggles does, in the end, turn out to be a wonderful asset. Turns out Zarkon’s soldiers are terrified of the damn thing, and they didn’t even need to send their prisoner to Kolivan. He spilled every base secret he had the second he saw the creature, and Mr. Snuggles enjoyed the terror radiating off the soldier immensely. 

Man, fuck. Convincing Lance to leave strays behind was never going to happen, at this point. The castle is going to become a goddamn zoo.

part two (the tarantula hawk wasp incident)