#i did this from memory idk if its actually accurate lmao

[birdantlers]

colored a work doodle. I love him he is my best friend

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Unit Y-0U

Prologue: Fragmented Memories

Notes: Yuu is Gender-Neutral. No set description of Yuu at all, aside from some mentions of scars and them being on the taller side. (explained in the prologue). The characters in this are a bit older as I made night raven an actual college. This is based off of the Great 7 Parent Au on this blog ans stuff.

This Prologue is entirely optional and just provides some basic worldbuilding for the world Yuu is from. Important stuff will be repeated in later chapters. I based this world on the Mirrorverse game. Also, I fixed Pocahontas because I am native and still enraged. She is a kid too, and not colonized. The Horned King is a forgotten Disney villain which surprises me since he's worse than Chernabog.

This kinda sucks ngl…. It's a series of, well… fractured and corrupt memories that aren't entirely accurate or in their entirety. I hope it gets better from here, but I doubt it. Yuu will actually start to remember things correctly/remember their actual feelings as time goes on. Yuu is generally a pretty kind but traumatized trope that will also tend to push the OBs around more to help them develop. Idk lmao.

Locating Unit Coordinates...

[An error has occurred. Review crash log?]

Rebooting…

Unit coordinates can no longer be tracked. Unit has disappeared.

****

Unit has sustained large amounts of damage. Reviewing backup cache… Fragments of information have been restored. Note: What is seen here may have been altered by unit mental state or devices that can change or alter memory. The following memories are out of order. Proceed with caution.

****

Magic was once the lifeblood of your world. It pumped life into every corner of the universe, bringing balance to all inside. At least, that is what the elders said. Ever since the disappearance of magic, nothing has been the same. As magic began to die, so did the world, causing cataclysmic events.

The fae was the most affected, and their home became a barren wasteland, and with each new generation of fae having weaker magic and mages becoming rarer, there was no guarantee their species would survive. Without magic to balance the world, it came down to the people. Many argued about who should be in charge and how the world should be poised; some sought to control the world through structure and rules. Others turned to violence and discord.

You were born during this apocalypse, or rapture, as many called it. Though, you never really understood most of it as a kid. Your village and your parents taught you more about how to survive. How to hide. How to hunt. How to barter. How to be crafty and frugal. How to run. How to have no waste. How to sneak around. How to read safety diamonds and warning labels. That was your life. Then an invasion came.

****

Mercenaries of the higher powers came in their high-tech armor, and fancier phones, and scary beasts they rode upon because they could afford to feed them. 

“The detectors say there is either a mage or catalyst among you filth.” Catalyst? You and the other village kids hid behind the adults, confused by the big words they spoke. “We do need some magic batteries for the city, so give up whoever it is! Cough them out, and I may just let you live.” The man spat, cruel eyes glaring down at everyone atop his high-griffin that swiveled its head around vigilantly.

Behind your parents' back, you recognized a signal. One said, ‘take the other children and hide. You’re the oldest. We believe in you.’ You used the adults as a shield as you grabbed other children by the hand and led them to the safe zone—a hollowed-out tree with rocks and mud covering the opening. 

Digging through the rocks and mud, you removed the barrier to safety and slid inside to prepare the inside for the others, making sure it was safe. All those years of skipping meals to keep the younger ones fed made you thin enough to slide in. Through one of the cracks in the trunk, you saw the griffin push over an adult and screech at the group of children. 

The last thing you remember is watching the man grab the sword around his waist and his men grabbing blasters. You remember desperately digging your fingers into the mud and rocks and digging till they bled to make the opening wider. While digging, you heard screaming, running, gunfire, violence, and crying.

You were in that trunk for what felt like hours, and not a single other kid made it in. “Men! Find that mage and spare no mercy!” echoed through your head over and over. Your body shivered from both fear and the cold.

****

Happy memories surge forth to try and protect your fragile mind. 

“We never cut our hair in our culture. It contains your knowledge and wisdom. That's what my mama told me, at least.” The girl in front of you leans her head back and smiles as you braid her hair. “Really?”

“Mmm-hmm. You could only cut on a new moon when you need to make a change or when you lose a loved one,” Pocohontas leaned back up and stretched her spine. “Sometimes, when the women in my tribe get really stressed, they would braid their hair super tightly and go outside on a windy day. They then undo their hair and let the wind carry away all of their worries!” 

You adored listening to your friend and learning about her culture. She was like a little sister to you. Both of you had to grow up too fast. Her face fell as the conversation dwindled. “I miss my tribe….”

****

The sounds of bloodshed continued and continued for what felt like days. Still, no one else came into the shelter. Did you fail…? The only thing keeping you awake was adrenaline and the cold as you shivered in fear. Left in pitch black darkness, hoping to survive—

****

“Some pancakes for you, Mulan.” “Thank you, Kronk.” “And for you too, Merida.” The redhead didn't wait to dig in, thanking the cook through a mouthful of food. “You too, Rapunzel.” “Ooo! Thank you.” “And finally, here's some for you, kiddo; Go on, take a bite. We did make them together, after all.”

You beamed as you bit into a pancake you and Kronk made together. The man has been your teacher in the kitchen and even taught you how to be a proper scout. He even taught you how to understand the woodland creatures within the forest. You adored the tan man and hoped to get as big and strong as him someday. You hope he's safe…

The other girls were also important to you. Mulan was a master at the sword. She carried six on her person, along with a shield that hung off her armored body. She was so kind and taught you some basic blade and footwork. She often went out on missions to help gather materials for the village. If only she was here right now…

The blonde with the long hair was also the village healer. Her hair and singing healed any wound there was. You often ended up in her care, but it wasn’t bad at all. Together, with her chameleon, Pascal, you both painted together. You would make up silly stories with her and sing silly songs. Maybe she can heal the others.

Merida, the redhead with an accent. She taught you everything stealth. Everything hunting. Under her training, you learned to hit bullseyes easily. You often went out with her to practice your hunting skills, and she’d always congratulate you no matter how small your catch was. She should be back from her hunting trip soon you hope…

****

Peaking out of the tree, you saw tents and buildings in ruins. The few vehicles and other technology your village had were either scalped or broken beyond repair. You squeeze out of your hole, head on a  swivel to check for any danger as you try to find an adult.

Sneaking slowly you trudge forth into the broken village. Beneath your feet, you step into something warm and sticky. Looking down you recognize the bodies that hugged each other in death as your parents— you can barely remember their faces any more or the name they gave you— and you fell to your knees, letting out a wail. You didn't care who heard, unaware you were being watched.

****

“A catalyst with such potential… how rare…” 

A skeletal figure watched from afar, whispering to himself. Running into a potent catalyst was lucky enough, but now he doesn’t even have to put effort into kidnapping or indoctrinating them. He can step in and ‘save’ that child.

The hooded figure approached the kid, standing behind them as they mourned. “You poor thing, all alone with no one left…” His bony hand rested on their back as his honeyed words soothed them. “There, there. I will take you in, I promise.”

****

You held the rotting, bony hand of the man who saved you. The Horned King. You allowed him to guide you through the castle he constructed with his own magic. He spoke of many deranged things in a manic tone. Politics. Power. Desires. Ideals.

Then he stopped in front of the balcony, admiring the red sunset in a grey, smog-filled sky. “The world we are in is dying. But… It can be saved.” Your eyes went wide. “It can?”

The king nodded. “I have been using what magic I have to give my men power to rebuild The Black Cauldron, a magical item that will save us. I have sent my men across dimensions and planets in mechanical space boats to seek a catalyst powerful enough to bring the cauldron. With it, I can rule over the land and bring back the magic this world has forgotten.”

“Catalyst?” You remembered the men at your village, what did that word mean? The horned king’s sunken eyes looked down at you. “A catalyst, unlike a mage, is something that can absorb magic, and redirect it. Like a magestone.” The king paced in front of you. “Catalysts, not to mention powerful ones, are rare. They can handle storing high amounts of magic to be used at a later time.”

The king turned to you. “This is where you come in, little one. I have found seven magic fragments that I cannot use. You, however, just might…” The hooded figure of rotting flesh knelt in front of you. “With your power, we can bring back magic and save the world. What do you say, little one?”

****

Spread on a vivisection table you lay, barely covered up by a hospital gown of sorts. Your chest and stomach hurt, your body was weak, and you can feel the thin, paper gown brush against the sensitive scar tissue on your body hurts. It hurts so bad. You feel your heartbeat in your ears being accompanied by a faint ringing and pulsing. What did they do to you?

A muffled groan echoes in your head, followed by the sounds of cracking and popping. ‘Oh it feels good to be back…’ a gravely voice echoes in the back of your head, reverberating in your thoughts. You can hear additional whispers and laughter in the back of your mind. Please shut up. Please. You can’t take any more noises or voices in your head. You just want some time to yourself. ‘Woah easy there kid, no need to worry…’ The voice purrs, ‘Just give me control, and you’ll be fine…’

You didn’t even know what that meant until you felt your body go slack, twitching by itself as if there was a puppeteer over you. You panicked, trying your best to fight back against the feeling of your eyes drying out from glowing or the weird blue flicker of your hair. You couldn't do much, strapped down to the vivisection table, but damn it if you didn’t try.

Odd power surged through you as you felt your body flicker before going back to normal. ‘What the hell?! Why can’t I take control?! What's goin on? Actually better yet, why am I in you, kid?’ You were too tired to answer, and the energy that flowed through your body early drained you of what little energy you had left, making you pass out. The entire time you swear you can hear a conversation within you. Your body hurts, but you remember what your savior said. “I am sorry for the pain you must endure, but know that it is necessary, and that you are strong enough,”

****

Log 3: Side-Effects

Unit Y-0U has been successfully fused with the 7 mage fragments uncovered from [REDACTED]. The child is now in recovery mode from what appeared to be an extremely painful surgery, I sadly wasn’t present at the time, however, I heard it was done without painkillers. Master said that it was to make sure the weapon becomes resilient by increasing tolerance to pain. Surgery to eliminate pain receptors: Pending.

The Cauldron Mage Unit has remarked about hearing more voices in their head than usual. These voices are apparently very rude and confused. The (Child) Unit seems disturbed. When put on anti-psychotics the new voices did not go away. This must be a simple side-effect of the casting process. I will continue to keep an eye on them

-Yzma Researcher #121000

Log: End

Personal Diary: New Entry

This child has lost all light in their eyes. As time goes on they have become more ill-mannered and rude. I do not blame them. No child deserves any of this torture. I just wonder what The Horned King is thinking, making this kid into some strange ‘cauldron born’ soldier to bring back all of magic. Fucking hell. I regret what I did. I regret working with them. Am I truly doing the right thing? Torturing a child? Ripping the wings off fae and draining them of what little magic they have left? Will this really bring back magic to our world after it disappeared? I have a lot to think about. I’m going to be sick.

If this continues I doubt this weapon would even work with us. I am going to try and sneak it some bread tomorrow, Cedric’s approval be damned. I can disguise it as maintaining the weapon and its cast. I can’t imagine what it is like to wake up in a new body. Poor kid, it doesn’t even have a proper name. 

#121000

****

The next few days were odd. You started to hear more voices… But this… This will go away. It will be worth it if you can help your savior save the world! Right…?

****

‘I see… So… I am now stuck inside you, a kid no less…’ You can see a ghost of a hand drag across the specter's face in your mind. ‘Great… Wonderful. How am I supposed to take over Olympus like this?! Did I die? Is this the afterlife for gods?’ The voice snarled in your head, making you flinch, you can feel his rage wash over you, heating the inside of your body.

‘Silence. You are giving me a migraine. I cannot believe that someone like me is trapped inside this… unsightly vessel. I swear no vessel of mine will be looking like a slob.‘ A cruel voice cuts in. Her words harsh, but true. 

‘And now I have roommates. Also, what do you mean by your vessel? I woke up first! This thing is mine, get your own!’ ‘Yeah, you tell them boss!’ you hear a few voices mutter. Your chest felt cold as the cruel voice from before became silent. Her rage, icy and cold. ‘Enough, I am not talking to an ill-mannered slob such as yourself. Unlike you, I am actually trying to find a solution.‘

An argument was brewing in your mind, and you can tell a headache was coming on.

****

‘Revived? Inside a child? Tch, it's better than that lamp I suppose.’ the voice sneered.

‘Ah Jafar, what an unpleasant surprise, you’re here as well. Hmph. So you were revived as well. What a shame…’ another voice who called herself Maleficent hissed.

‘Please don’t fight you two. I don't know what happened. I was just told I was going to be fused and woke up like this.’ It was quiet for a minute before a sigh echoed through your head. A new voice came. This one is older, but smooth and soothing despite the words she spits, but before you can hear anything you let drowsiness overtake you as the conversation gets quieter.

****

Your training got harder by the day. Magic theory. Potion craft. Alchemy. Tactics. Sword Fighting. Hand-to-Hand. Dodging. Weight Training. carrying weights for days on end without sleep. Pushing, pushing, pushing.

You were a weapon, a beacon of hope, and you must be strong. You were subjected to experiment after experiment. Regimen after regimen. “Allow them no breaks! We have no time to waste!” The Horned King speaks.

It was the last thing you remember before being attached to a machine. A machine that plugged into the flesh of your neck and kept you active. It would both rest and still train you. Not even in dreams do you escape your work. Your stomach hurts. They forgot to feed you again. Your head hurts from the strange voices in your head that have yet to clear up. Every word they speak is strangled and garbled on some days, yet completely clear the next. As you drift off, you hear a conversation

‘The gall of those mages to hit my vessel. Next time, you are to strike back- no wait. We are going to concoct a poison so potent, that two sorry excuses of mages won't see it coming. they do not know the first thing when it comes to magic anyways!’

‘They speak as if magic is foreign to them and teach poor, pathetic, elementary spells.‘ The new woman's voice muttered. ‘I think if we all long for freedom, we should teach this child how to use our magic, for a price of course…’

****

Personal Log:

I saw the child destroy the only object it had in its room the other day— a mirror. It couldn’t stand looking at itself in its new body. I don't blame it, this new one isn’t designed with any warmth in mind. Just a simple cast to help one achieve being the perfect weapon. I have heard the child scream to shut up multiple times while grasping its head in pain. The voices haven't stopped.

At least it is showing promise of power, recently it has been wielding high-power magic and is now taking on even higher-level training exercises. The weight it can now lift is incredible! Truly a worthy vessel under our king who will turn things back to the way they were before! 

I heard they are sending the child out to the wastelands to retrieve more relics. That's good and all but how are we sure they won’t run away? Their handlers refuse to treat them with an ounce of respect, and we barely feed it for the sake of ‘strengthening it just in case the weapon goes too long without food. This feels strange. How long before it gets wiser?

I guess it doesn't matter since I can simply implant better memories in them or remove those fragments temporarily and render them unable to use magic. I'm sure the King wouldn't mind me doing a biiiit of brainwashing.

Anyways, new ships capable of gliding across water and into space have been constructed. Our empire will now grow even stronger. The child will now be sent on missions across dimensions and into space. Now they can truly train for phase 2 of the king's plan. To rule the world with our Cauldron Born army. And with such a happy and kind child showing off their magic and helping villages, no one would dare to oppose us, but rather, welcome us with open arms.

- Cedrick

****

‘You must rest now, otherwise evil and vengeance will never prosper’ The dragon fae soothes you with her words as you rest in a medical tent, the last mission exposed you to some poisonous spores, giving you a fever. A warm washcloth rests on your forehead and you can feel the ghost of her fingers brush against your cheek. ‘I'm not used to just sitting around so idly…’ ‘You should really learn how, it would benefit you’ Scar interjects. You can see the specter of him stretching before lounging on top of you. Oddly enough, you could feel the weight of him on you, along with the strange heat that comes off of him. You can even hear the three hyenas rummaging around beside you.

It's so strange feeling so loved… You remember just a year ago how hostile they were to you. This insolent subject! How dare you refuse a command from me?! You remember the Red Queen yelled at you. You are to obey or it is off with your head! Now you are her ‘Little Crown’ or heir as she sometimes calls you. It’s crazy just how fast things change

****

You came to realize that with the seven in your head, you were being used. No hero would abuse their subjects like the Horned king did. He lacked transparency. He let those scientists hurt you. ‘We should burn him’ Hades replies in your head.

‘Absolutely not. That King’s followers are quite devoted. Furthermore, we are not in a position to fight back.’ Jafar notes. Scar grumbles in agreement, ‘No place to escape to, surrounded by insanely devoted minions… The effort it would take to win…’ ‘Would not be ideal…’ Ursula purrs. ‘Even with our magic combined, the poor guppy here isn’t in the ideal condition to fight.’

You roll in your bedroll within your ‘room’. An observation room in the lab with a one-way mirror taking over an entire wall. Windowless, no decoration or light. The silence and plainness of it all is maddening,

‘Isn’t strange to not take care of your weapons?’ Grimhilde notes. ‘Surely, if your plan relies on one person, you would take care of them…” Her voice became sour at the end, disgusted at the treatment you have endured. 

‘Which means, he may know about our loyalty wavering, or he knows that we may rebel…’ Maleficent notes. ‘Well, maybe he wouldn't have to worry about that if he were to have actually treated our precious crown right’! The Queen of Hearts sasses, you can hear the low clicking of the eel twins and the Jabberwock agreeing with the queen.

‘Stay on your toes, young one. Be careful. And look for an opening to escape.’  Jafar whispers to you, and you feel the ghost of his hand cup your cheek.

****

“The village people have constructed a statue of us in the town square.” The king hums. “Really?! I mean— I’ve hardly done anything…” The king looks down at you, rotting, sunken eyes analyzing you. “You have grown so much stronger than when we first met, I knew it was a good idea to take you in on that day.” 

‘Tch. What a pathetic attempt at lying. Also do not doubt yourself so much, little dragon.’ Maleficent responds. ‘All those years of dealing with this asshole probably did something to their self-worth, if only someone suggested we kill him sooner!’ You close your eyes in agreement with them. Lies. He never cared. You were just another test run that ended up making it the farthest.

‘Language, Hades. That foolish plan wouldn’t have done well, as for you Vessel. Do not talk down to yourself. I am not letting someone that represents me do such a thing!’ You smile a bit at her words, able to read between the lines to understand that what she really means to say is ‘I care about you so much’. Hades huffs. ‘Whatever Hidey… Now let's focus on what this Underworld escapee has to say.’

Oh right, there's a statue of you in your honor and a few propagandic stories of your tales to make you feel like you’re doing the right thing.  All this work just to make sure you don’t fight back. As much as The Horned King hated to admit it, you were stronger than him, and that's terrifying. No one has ever survived this long as a Cauldron Born Unit. At least, when he is done using you, you will be sacrificed to the cauldron, making him the most powerful one of all, and he would no longer have to worry about pleasing you. 

Or so he hopes. You see through him. But you will continue to play dumb and take the abuse. But… a very small part of you believes it all. You deserve to be hit. You are doing the right thing. Maybe He was right. Maybe, you truly are worthless...

****

In your room that night, you curled up in your bedroll, hiding the data crystal you swiped from the lab earlier. You were gonna get down to the bottom of whatever the hell these people were doing.

Tapping it, a small screen popped up from it. The beginning of the report was titled “Magic Extractor”. By the description, this was related to fueling both the cauldron and The Horned King himself…

Opening it you began to read, and with each line, you began to feel sick. Your stomach sunk and your heartstrings felt like they were played by a knife as you continued. You knew that the people you served were bad… You never knew it was like this.

All those fae, all those mages, those children…

Something snapped in you that day, and the seven found themselves supporting you. You are done. You are escaping. You will bring hell to all of those to hurt you.

****

“My King! Unit Y-0U has run off and escaped.”

“What?!” The Horned King yelled. “Where are they?!"

“They ran out of the lab without permission and were last seen going to the Magic Extractor.”

The Horned King fumed and immediately teleported off to you. Maybe this was a rebellious phase he needed to hammer out. You were still a kid after all. Maybe he can convince you that what you would see is what had to be done. Maybe he could just simply erase every memory you have.

As he teleported and appeared at the sight, he looked upon the ruins of what remained of the extractor. It was destroyed. Mages, mers, beasts, and fae all escaping out of the prison he built. Many were fighting the workers. The king felt rage bubble in his bones as he searched around for— you. A child amidst it all. 

In the middle of it all, fighting with those who want to fight, instructing the others on where to go. Summoning waves to carry the mer away. “YOU! CHILD. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” The king roared, catching your attention.

You gripped your polearm in your hand and turned towards him. “The future you want is one I despise. I never wanted any of this!”

“Do you really think you can defeat me?! I created you!”

“And I am stronger than you.” Fae and beast stood aside as you raised your polearm. From this day on, you bow to no king. From this day on, you declare war on your creator….

….

...

You swear you hear Hades, Pain, and Panic all yell “Viva la revolution” while cheering you on…

[mazuwii]

Eren Jaeger SFW Alphabet

Authors note: I hope this is feeding you guys because I am dragging this motivation by its hair😤

I was going to do Bertholdt next but I got a request for Miche so either of them will come out next😄

If you guys can’t comment (I’ve no idea how to turn replies on) Then I’m Lunology on wattpad, just comment on my aot scenarios book and I’ll post here! <3

—A (Affection, how affectionate is he?)

•Not the most lovey-dovey person in the entire cast, Eren is really shy when it comes to conveying his feelings for you. But when you both are alone, and he's comfortable with you he can hug you, or pinch your cheeks as a way of saying "You're so cute I could squish you into nothing."

•He has a very aggressive way of showing affection, like biting your cheek, kissing places with his hands clamping shut on them, it's difficult to get him to let go.

—B (Bestfriend, what would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

•Being best friends with Eren is a wild ride. You'd think he adopted you as a best friend being the loud, boisterous extrovert that he is yet you're the one always getting him out of trouble.

•He's loud, fun, spontaneous but incredibly annoying. My guy will SPAM you with useless TikTok videos, his entire fyp on your messages.

•But he's very funny too, he crops your faces on animated videos and it lowkey looks so shit that it's funny.

•As your best friend, Eren will fight anyone who even thinks about threatening you (lmao he can't fight) so you're just stuck with scolding him and disinfecting his bleeding lip💀

—C (Cuddling. Does he like to cuddle? How would he cuddle?)

•If he gets a random wave of gratitude he'd just randomly burst into your room and hug you, it would be sooo random. You're just playing a game and this guy hugs you but as a joke, he walks around the room while hugging you so the chair you're on walts around everywhere with him. Once you understand what this weirdo is doing you just burst out laughing with him because you both look dumb.

•Like the dude is just staring into space when he remembers that one time you slapped a teacher for him, or almost got yourself in trouble to give him something and he just goes: ƈ ͡ (ुŏ̥̥̥̥ ‸ ŏ̥̥̥̥) ु COME HERE Y/NNNNNN!!

•Eren is a pretty fun boyfriend, wouldn't just stick to a cuddle session, it would be more like... playing a game on the console with you sprawled out on his lap.

—D (Domestic. Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

•While Eren wants to tie a knot when it comes to you and him, having children never ever crosses his mind. It's just fun fun fun until you're twenty-eight and you're asking when he wants to have a mini Jaegar. He just looks a bit taken back because it isn't an easy job...

•And when it comes to cooking and cleaning, he's actually somewhat good at cleaning, never missing a spot with his aggressive wiping. However... I don't see him as a cooker if you get me💀 probably burnt his finger while boiling water and never tries again.

•If we're talking about domestic then yeah maybe, maybe he does have a nice husband in him. Not one that pretends there's a spider on you when you wake up... or nOt one that hogs the pillows.

—E (Ending, If he had to break up with his partner, how would he do it?)

•He felt as if he wasn't giving you enough and that other men could satisfy you. Eren would be too scared to face you when he breaks the news so he would leave a note and completely disappear from your life.

—F (Fiancé. How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

•Eren doesn't really put labels on things, at least, he says that... the guy calls you wifey even though you aren't married. Sure he may think about it for a few minutes but quickly shuts himself down since he's extremely shy when it comes to chatting about the two of you

•Eventually when he goes to all his friends' weddings, he gets jealous and decides he should put a ring on it LMAO, you can expect him to be incredibly flustered and even play it off with a 'cool' when you say yes. It's best you hug him so that you don't see how red his face turns.

•I'm just sayin' he's going all out for your wedding, it's so funny, he's so extra... why are their ten limousines? Men shooting guns upwards the moment you both kiss?! A fucking food fight-

—G  (Gentle. How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

•If we're talking about physically, he is not gentle and he doesn't even try to be. He sometimes accidentally hurts you but never misses a second to kiss the spot and over-apologise. But Eren would never think about hurting you on purpose unless it was a life or death situation.

•Emotionally, he's fragile and would love reassurance. Emotionally, towards you, he doesn't be careful, always giving you jump scares, purposely pranking you

—H (Hugs, do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

•For you, he loves aggressive hugs where it's breaking your bones and he just lifts you off the floor and violently shakes you around like he can't get enough of you.

•He loves loves loves loves LOVES hugs when you two are alone and treating you like your a happy huge dog, ruffling every single part of your body for no reason at all and rubbing you with a relaxing force...?

•Again, Eren is very shy so you'd have to start hugging him first for him to get used to it and eventually, he'll be the one knocking into your body for a bear hug

—I (I love you. How fast do they say the L-word?)

•Eren says I love you through the number of shits he gives (Not literally)... If he cares about you he worries a lot and checks up on you almost all the time so

•It would probably be at a time where he did something so risky and you got so scared that the moment you caught onto him you cried it out, he'd apologetically say it back and hug you, with meaning of course.

—J (How Jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

•Coming from someone who tries her hardest to make this accurate, I can say Eren gets jealous to the  m a x

•At first he thinks to himself that you'd tell whoever it is flirting with you to fuck off but his pride shatters when he realises you didn't say anything and it doesn't sound like you will

•My guy either walks out in dismay and gets petty with you afterwards or he walks up to you and tells you the both of you have to go home before shooting a dirty look at the flirty dude or straight up telling him to piss off

•That may result in a physical fight 💀 that guy needs anger management classes...

—K (Kisses, what are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

•For Eren, I can say that he doesn't make out often but when he does he'll probably leave your lips bruised, he has an obsession with biting your lip at the wrong time💀 he's too rough on most occasions, it isn't fun... calm down Jaegar.

•Eren loves kissing your cheek, except he bites it and leaves a slobber of saliva on it. He thinks it's cute as fuck, he won't stop.

•As for where he likes being kissed... he likes feeling delicate and loved so he really enjoys it when you sweep his rapunzel ass hair aside and kiss the temple of his forehead

—M (Mornings, how are mornings spent with him)

•The blanket is probably completely off of him and his leg is resting on your hip. He's an animal so the guy wakes up at like...6am without an alarm- it isn't even a training day! It's a day off! And he still wakes up at that early time.

•A few morning exercises for an hour before he attempts to wake you up... violently.

•Listen! Eren likes making breakfast with you, it doesn't feel the same without you- it's defintely not because he has no idea how to work the gas and oven🌚

•He's very funny and social when he isn't hungry so mornings are pretty fun with him, cracking a few jokes while getting you dirty with pancake mix (he said he can't control where flour goes, this is why you don't get him to cook)

•And then after that, it's time to shower... idk you decide if you'll go in with him¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Just sayin' his skin is very red afterwards, my guy uses cold water but scrubs so hard with the lufa-)

—N (Night, how are nights spent with him?)

•Like I said, Eren is like a dog, he spends his days using his full energy and he makes sure to use it all up so by 22:00 he should be knocked out.

•Eren isn't too bothered on cooking so you both probably just watch something before bed while eating take out

•afterwards it's a... really boiling hot shower, brush your teeth, have a conversation in bed for a while until you're both falling asleep at the sound of your voices.

•"Hah... loser... I can...- I can see you falling asleep *Jaegar yawn* first..." even though he's the one with the heavy, falling eyelids.

—O (Open, when would he start revealing things about himself? Did he say everything all at once? Or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

•Eren is very hesitant when it comes to being emotional, he thinks it isn't very masculine so you have to remove the toxic part away and reassure him millions of times that just because he cried, it doesn't make him girly.

•It would be an accident, he'd be trying to go stargazinh with you, you were resting on his arm and he was rambling and the subject suddenly got onto him. Without realising, he spilled everything right then and there... somehow without crying.

•The least you could do was hold on his hand and squeeze it gently... I doubt he's paying attention, he's probably scowling in memory.

•It's best you reassure him that nothing is his fault, nothing could have prevented what happened

—P (Patience, how easily angered are they?)

•He is very impatient to say the least, a control freak.

•When things don't go his way, he shouts, punches walls, scrunches up his hair but the moment there are tears in his eyes, everyone needs to leave the room

•oh ho ho HOOO you don't want to Eren to cry from anger, he turns into the silent kid with a glock in his bag... leave him for an hour and you'll come back to a fully destroyed room👁👄👁

—Q (Quizzes, how much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

•He remembers dumb small details, your favourite flowers, why you don't like public bathrooms, the reason you won't stop annoying his half brother 💀 (You wanna know Zeke's wiping technique... who doesn't?!)

•However he can't for the life of him, remember your doctors appointment or to pick up your medicine... he's halfway home and goes "Fuck-"

—R (Remember, what is his favourite moment in your relationship?)

•He and you go out on a lot of dates, but they're always wacky and messy. One of his favourites was when you both attacked Armin at the beach with water guns and then both Armin and Mikasa were both searching for you to get revenge

•You two hid behind a palm tree, giggling lowly with each other, aiming to attack your two oblivious friends but little did you both know, they heard your low confident remarks and lunged from behind the tree with two full buckets of freezing sea water dumped on you.

•He always remembers that day when he drifts off into a daydream and it always makes him smile

—S (Security, how protective are they? How would they protect you?)

•Trust me when I say... Eren would kill for you...

•So in conclusion, he is very protective and would not hesitate to take far measures to protect you. He's pretty much your ride or die

•While he doesn't show his protectiveness, he acts on it... if that makes sense? Listen, he's very protective but he's sneaky about it! I don't know how to describe it

—T (Try. How much effort would he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

•Despite how immature he seems, Eren completes all tasks in his day. And he makes sure of it

•When it comes to dates, it's very random... more spontanous but it's always something like. "Oh by the way, we're going to a waterpark this Sunday." Orrr "Babe! Get ready, we're going to eat out with Armin and his girlfriend!"

•You have an hour and a half to get ready so I would call your relationship active 😭 not even sexually active just active.

•Eren can be thoughtful but you have to shove your interests in his face for him to know what you want. Cartoon posters? He catches you watching a lot of gravity falls, steven universe, AWOG, etc... and then anytime he sees stuff to do with that in shops, he gets it for you on the way.

—U (Ugly, what are some bad habits of his?)

•Like I said earlier, Eren has some... mild anger issues🌚

•Nothing can calm him down, unless you have Ackerman strength I doubt you can stop him. He has no idea how to deal with his emotions so it just bubbles up and then he sees an object and thinks 💡 this can take my shit load of anger

•The walls probably have a lot dents yk and calming him down is very difficult but to be thoughtful, you tried getting him a few things to help him deal with his stress properly

—V (Vanity, how concerned is he with his looks)

•Couldn't really give two shits about his appearance, my guy grew rapunzel ass hair and just tied it up because I doubt he's bothered to take care of it

•Sure he wouldn't mind you washing it for him and applying conditioner, in fact, he loves it.

•Eren doesn't care about his appearance and just throws on a hoodie and sweatpants most of the time. You have to choose the shit he wears when you go out on fancy occassions 💀

—W (Whole, would they feel incomplete without you?)

•Again, to Eren, you're his world and he'd do anything to make sure that world is safe and healthy so without you, who would he feel the need to protect?

•Okay MAYBE he doesn't like worrying but he just does so I guess that would be a good thing if you broke up but it isn't as worth it💀

•But ever since you've been his sunshine cheerleader, he can't imagine a morning without your whining ass voice, or fighting with you to the bathroom in the morning, jumping on your back out of nowhere

•You're everywhere in his head, of course he couldn't feel whole without you

—X (Xtra, a random headcannon for him)

•Anytime Eren loses at something(it could be a hobby or a game) he'd stop doing it. Just dropping the entire thing.

•Unless he feels competitive, that always fires him up to do better... so in a way, Jean motivates him to do things. Those two actually care for each other but they hate each other (not literally) they're like siblings!

•Sorry, am I making sense?💀

—Y (Yuck, what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in person?)

•First of all, my mans fucking hates chocolate, put it near him and he'll kick it or throw it against the nearest wall.

•Like Eren was such a good boi when he was little, eating everything his momma put on his plate, even the brussel sprouts he fucking despised.

•But chocolate is his last straw. Chocolate and peanut butter. It gets stuck to the roof of his mouth and he panics like a drama queen, fanning his face like a princess and washing his mouth with his heart POUNDING against his chest

—Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of his?)

•He sleeps pretty normally, when he turns he lets out a soft satisfied groan, which I'd say is ordinary

•As for his sleeping weight, I'd say he's a heavy sleeper, you'd need to shake him to wake him up, slap his face or something because when that sleep is BUSSIN he won't be WAKIN (bad joke sorry)

•And he's gaping. Shut his mouth please.

•His hands may accidentily fall on some places on your body, he places them everywhere. Like on your nose, on your belly

Authors note:

Have you guys noticed that I don't add the letter L🌚? *shocked noises*

Jaaaa that's because I don't wanna write about kids so forgive me lmao

I'M SO GLAD THIS IS FINISHED! I WANT TO ADD EVERY CHARACTER COS I FEEL SO BAAAAAD FOR NOT DOING A LOT OF YOUR REQUESTS!

Deadass my brain just went bye bye when it came to writing and I recharge by reading actual original work by published authors, it helps me get back on track

Bertholdt/Miche is next!

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

[ectonurites]

i’ve recently had a major epiphany but i have no clue if it’s accurate.... i feel like people sometimes say that tim was “made to be robin” and that’s why he can’t move on and then everyone’s like “yeah dude so were the first two”, so i think why that is is bc tim wasn’t really set up to be anybody else until red robin began?....like dick and bruce fought and so did jason and bruce while they were still robin but tim didn’t really. fight? like that? like the major fight i can think of is his 16th birthday and as far as i can recall that was just pretty much smoothed over by the end of the arc? (i could be totally wrong i read this like last year) but in rr tim is fighting with dick about being robin and what the next step is, which he didn’t really do with bruce in the same kind of all-out argument way. like even damian and steph had their own conflicts with bruce, and dc didn’t really have that much trouble shuffling them out of the mantle.... i guess tim just needs to start yelling at bruce to get to age past 17..... anyways i could be completely off base here and forgetting something major so sry for the essay

LMAO no need to be sorry, I get that logic!! I definitely think that plays a part of it.

My personal take is that the biggest factor in Tim’s current perma-Robin state is just how bad the reboot fucked with things. Because before the New 52, Tim as Red Robin like... it was way more distinct from the Robin role than it is now! He had an actual reason he had to stop being Robin (Damian becoming Robin, thus Tim getting booted from the role), like the previous Robins had had reasons to stop (Dick getting fired, Jason dying, and also Steph was fired) and he was trying to re-establish himself and figure out who he was separately, and he was like... doing it! He was making his own base, he had his own kinda connections of people outside just the immediate fam (Lonnie, Pru, Tam his social relationship kinda fell apart with but work wise she was still there) he was still trying to figure out the direction at the very end, sure, but he wasn’t stagnant how he is now. He was very clearly on the path to grow into his own thing but it just got cut short.

When the New 52 first happened they had established that ‘Red Robin’ had been what he was first, that he hadn’t even actually been Robin originally! That he chose to go by ‘Red Robin’ out of respect for the Robin role having died with Jason (until Damian came along), that was the reasoning they gave. Even though Rebirth fixed this and re-established Tim having been Robin before Red Robin, the damage was still kinda done, because the New 52 treating Red Robin like that kinda... turned Red Robin into really just being Robin 2 instead of how in the pre-reboot world it had been something Tim was making into it’s own independent role. And then with the memory resurfacing things and the YJ relaunch they just straight up were like ‘fuck it its Robin time’ with him again, which I totally understood bc it made sense for a YJ nostalgia thing, but like, putting him back like that as a ‘forever’ thing just... not only is it making him stagnant it arguably borders on pushing him backwards as a character. 

Which is why I think at this point he needs a new separate identity, because Red Robin is too directly tied to the Robin role now, way more than it had been before the New 52. And if he just stays in this Robin/Red Robin zone, nothings gonna... happen with him. He is not going to develop more, DC doesn’t know what to do with him there because while yes with a lot of roles there can be multiple people having it, if one Robin has an ongoing solo they’re probably not gonna be promoting much with a second Robin too. He needs a new identity to find a more unique space in the family for himself. And, based on the description for his Urban Legends story, “seeking a new purpose” feels like they could be starting to finally set this up.

Drake was the right kind of idea, just with a stupid name and a not great costume, but honestly the bigger problem with it was there wasn’t a real motivation for it beyond ‘evil earth-3 me said this thing.. ooooo’ like that’s not... quite enough. I think I’d agree that a conflict either with Bruce or someone else in the fam would be a much better source of that motivation, like, it needs to be something where he feels pushed to the point that he can’t be Robin/a Robin equivalent anymore, either by choice or because he got fired or something. It definitely could be something more internal, but it just would need to be handled better than the Drake thing was LMAO. 

idk if that makes sense in response to what you said, but I def don’t think you’re wrong or anything, that definitely plays a part in this. I think just... in general... DC is kinda lost on what to do with Tim right now and I really hope they figure it out soon.

[likelightningafterthethunder]

Like Lightning After the Thunder: Chapter One: Damned Smile

Fic Summary:

His breath wavered as he stared into Katsuki’s eyes. He knew he could get out if he tried. He could knock Katsuki out, hope that no one else would find them, and run back into the shadows where he belonged. Katsuki may have had him pinned down but he was in Denki’s range now and it would take little effort to send a charge through Katsuki to paralyze him temporarily.

It would take barely any additional effort to kill Katsuki.

As the sparks began to charge, lighting up the air around him, Katsuki refused to back down.

–

Katsuki always knew he was destined for great things.

He didn’t think he’d have to turn his back on all he’s ever known to get there.

Rating: T

Warnings: Eventual major character death, implied/referenced child abuse, psychological trauma

Other Tags: Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki, slow burn, alternate universe - canon divergence

Read on Ao3 (links to corresponding chapter) or read below

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Fic navigation to read the fic on tumblr 

--

Even years later, that damn smile haunted his dreams.

There was absolutely no reason for him to still think about the event. Everything had been taken care of when it had happened― injuries were treated, authorities alerted, information secured, and a press conference to tie it all up in a big red bow. There were no loose ends, no surprise second coming, no physical reminders of what happened lingering in his daily life. Katsuki would have labeled it as done, dealt with, and no longer relevant, shoving it aside in his memory so he could focus on actual important shit.

Except his mind had different plans.

When he was lucky, he could completely forget about the event for months. Other times, his dreams would be filled with nothing but that damn smile, taunting him with its silence. He could usually predict when the dreams would come― the anniversary of the event for example― but other times, it seemed like anything could trigger the memory. He once saw a bright yellow balloon and for the rest of the day, every time he closed his eyes he saw that damned smile, never wavering despite the curses and insults Katsuki spewed.

He wanted to forget it. He wanted so desperately to forget it. For the image to erase itself from his mind, for it to take the feelings away with it. He could deal with the anger, he could always deal with the anger, but when his memory reminded him of the wave of hurt and betrayal that nearly blinded him…

When his alarm jolted him from his sleep and freed him from the smile, he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough. He woke up drenched in a cold sweat, sheets singed and smoking lightly as he unclenched his hands, and Katsuki was, for once, very relieved that not all of his sweat was explosive. He slapped the singes a few times to ensure that all of the embers were put out before heading for the bathroom, cursing under his breath as he flinched at his own reflection in the mirror.

There was nothing particularly wrong with his appearance, if you didn’t count the dark circles under his eyes from a fitful night’s sleep or his clammy skin, but after being plagued by the smile, Katsuki could barely look at himself. His reaction to the smile made him feel weak, like he couldn’t handle himself and that there was something wrong with him. It was just a smile after all. There was no reason for him to react to it like a nightmare, no reason for him to lose sleep over it or to feel overwhelmed by emotions at the thought of it.

Yet when he saw the smile and saw how the corners of his mouth were tugged a bit too tight, how his eyes were open a bit too wide, how the only shine in his eyes were the reflections of light on tears that refused to fall…

Katsuki cursed.

The icy cold shower did little to help distract him from the memory, nor did his morning run nor the steaming shower he took after. He wasn’t supposed to head into the agency today, so he didn’t have any planned beatdowns for today, and yes he probably shouldn’t be hoping for it, but part of him hoped for a sudden emergency villain so he could distract himself by focusing on beating some villain’s ass into next week.

A few hours later when his phone refused to stop buzzing, Katsuki wondered if throwing his phone across the room until it stopped would be close enough to beating villain ass to work. He reluctantly decided that talking to people so they’d leave him alone was probably less hassle to deal with than having to replace his phone and distribute his new number (even if it would give him an excuse to ghost some of these damn extras).

A few individual texts and a group text were the cause of the buzzing. As the group text’s new message count continued to rise, he figured it would be easier to respond to the individual texts first. Just in case he changed his mind about destroying the phone.

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Hello Bakugou, this is a reminder about the upcoming Class A reunion. As the head of the reunion committee, it is my duty to ensure an accurate headcount for the event, and I have yet to receive your response about your attendance. Please ensure to respond via the following link by this Friday at 11:59PM. [Class A 10 Year Reunion RSVP]

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): In case you missed the previous messages regarding the reunion, the event is March 28th starting at 7PM at the Shinjuku Hotel in Musutafu. If you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki frowned. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the possibility of being surrounded by all of his former classmates and even less at the idea of being socially obligated to spend the entire evening with them. At least when he met up with his friends elsewhere, he could always claim needing to leave early so he could make the last train or that work needed him to come in early the next day.

He closed out of the conversation, figuring he still had a few more days to decide if he really wanted to deal with his classmates for an entire evening.

Midoriya: Hey Katsugou! I was wondering if you’re going to go to the reunion? Tenya said the deadline to RSVP is coming soon and we haven’t heard from you, so I just thought I’d check in!

Katsuki: The fuck is Katsugou?

Midoriya: Oh sorry!! Typo!!

Midoriya: Anyway, are you coming?

Katsuki closed out of the conversation and moved on to the next one.

Shitty Hair: Katsuki! Are you coming to the reunion or not dude????

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: Aww dude that’s no way to talk to your best friend, you know you love me!!

Katsuki: I’m blocking you.

He did not, in fact, block him. But he did close out of Eijirou’s texts.

Save for the newest text sent directly from Eijirou, all that was left was the backlog of texts in the group text. It had kept going off while he was reading the other conversations, so Katsuki figured it meant that everyone was either off for the day or on their lunch break.

Raccoon Eyes: guys!!!!! the reunion is COMING UPPPPPP!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: i cant wait to s

Raccoon Eyes: ee all of u guys again!!

Tape Face: lmao you saw us last week

Raccoon Eyes: yes

Raccoon Eyes: an eteRNITY ago

Raccoon Eyes: and like

Raccoon Eyes: kats left early so we didnt have everyone

Raccoon Eyes: so it doesnt count

Shitty Hair: Yeah Katsuki don’t leave early next time!!

Raccoon Eyes: we just have to hold him hostage next time

Raccoon Eyes: or like

Raccoon Eyes: AMBUSH him

Tape Face: i can always tape him up

Raccoon Eyes: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Raccoon Eyes: tape him to the wall

Raccoon Eyes: and then like

Raccoon Eyes: steal his wallet

Raccoon Eyes: cant get on transit w no moneys

Raccoon Eyes: ei and han hold him down

Raccoon Eyes: i run to hide his wallet where he cant fi

Raccoon Eyes: nd it

Raccoon Eyes: probs keeps kats tapped to the wall all night

Raccoon Eyes: free up his arms so he can have a drink????

Tape Face: explosion palms dude

Raccoon Eyes: oh u right

Raccoon Eyes: he can just have a cup w like

Raccoon Eyes: a REALLY REALLY long straw

Raccoon Eyes: make sure u tape him up w his hands behind his back

Tape Face: you got it

Shitty Hair: He’s in this chat guys he’s going to see the plan

Raccoon Eyes: whatevs we can still totally blindside him

Raccoon Eyes: ANYWAYS

Raccoon Eyes: ure all going right?????

Tape Face: ya I rsvpd a while back

Shitty Hair: Yep!! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Raccoon Eyes: what about u kats

Raccoon Eyes: kats???

Raccoon Eyes: KAAAAAAAAAAAAATS

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Shitty Hair: I’ll text him separately

Raccoon Eyes: t

Tape Face: he probably has this muted lmao

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: !!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: how dare u ignore us

Raccoon Eyes: after everything weve done for u!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: thought we were ur ride or die hoes

Raccoon Eyes: dont tell me ur not going!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: im so offended

Raccoon Eyes: how could u do this to us kats

Shitty Hair: Maybe he’s at work today?

Raccoon Eyes: boo

Raccoon Eyes: how dare he prioritize wo

Raccoon Eyes: rk over us

Raccoon Eyes: his best friends

Raccoon Eyes: the suns of his life

Raccoon Eyes: the bit of happiness in the cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Tape Face: coooooooooold

Raccoon Eyes: COOOOOOOOLD

Raccoon Eyes: thing he calls a heart

Shitty Hair: Lmao

Tape Face: its got a bit of warmth

Tape Face: most of it is his temper

Raccoon Eyes: boom boom POW

Raccoon Eyes: well while we wait for kats

Raccoon Eyes: help me pick some photos for the slideshow!!

Tape Face: are you doing only UA pics or some stuff since then

Tape Face: somehow iida managed to not specify lmao

Shitty Hair: The info email was like ten pages, how did he miss it

Tape Face: idk

Raccoon Eyes: ive got plenty for both!!

Raccoon Eyes: momo said pref UA pics but some new stuff is good too

Raccoon Eyes: show how far weve come n all that

Tape Face: oh cool let me get some opinions then too

Shitty Hair: Anyone have any pics of the camping trip from second year?

Raccoon Eyes: before or after todoroki and kats’ fight turned it into a icy hot springs

Shitty Hair: Both lmao but probably before it went to hell

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: ofc ive got us chillin in the springs

Raccoon Eyes: well most of us

Raccoon Eyes: kats u never get in the water w us :C

Raccoon Eyes: lets go to the beach next time!!

Tape Face: hed prob boil the water w you in it if you dragged him in lmao

Tape Face: spicy acid time

Raccoon Eyes: id like to see him TRY

Shitty Hair: Don’t tempt him lmao

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: i got like a shit ton more

Raccoon Eyes: should i send some of THE FIGHT

Shitty Hair: Maybe not

Tape Face: yes

Tape Face: well

Tape Face: depends on how many pissed off katsuki pics youre putting in lmao

Raccoon Eyes: OH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tape Face: ?

Raccoon Eyes: dude

Raccoon Eyes: do u have the POMERANIAN pic

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: image.png

Shitty Hair: I still think Katsuki should’ve taken that pup home

Shitty Hair: They’re matching!

Tape Face: image.png

Tape Face: i also have this one

Tape Face: when she tried to bite his nose off lmao

Raccoon Eyes: kats couldve named her king explosion murder

Raccoon Eyes: or just murder

Raccoon Eyes: p sure she wouldve tried to murder kats at least o

Raccoon Eyes: nce

Tape Face: lmao she basically tried when he found her

Shitty Hair: Maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t keep the pup

Tape Face: look what i found

Tape Face: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW YES

Raccoon Eyes: LOOK AT USSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: we look FABBBB

Shitty Hair: Is that from the dance?

Tape Face: ye

Raccoon Eyes: guys what if we recreate that pic at the reunion

Raccoon Eyes: the fits?

Raccoon Eyes: immaculate

Raccoon Eyes: the pose?

Raccoon Eyes: perfection

Tape Face: hotel?

Tape Face: trivago

Shitty Hair: I’m down for recreating some pics!

Raccoon Eyes: yessssss

Raccoon Eyes: u have no choice either kats u gotta do it

Raccoon Eyes: wherever u are

Shitty Hair: Oh he replied!!

Raccoon Eyes: SWEET

Raccoon Eyes: what he say

Shitty Hair: He said fuck off

Tape Face: as expected

Shitty Hair: Lmao he threatened to block me again

Tape Face: thought he said he was blocking you last week

Shitty Hair: Yea exactly

Raccoon Eyes: HOW RUDE

Raccoon Eyes: as punishment for not paying attention to us

Raccoon Eyes: im gonna send this

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: LMAO whend you make that

Shitty Hair: Is that Katsuki with a cat face and ears

Shitty Hair: Dude I don’t know if he’s going to kill you for that or for the pink hair first lmao

Raccoon Eyes: lmao made it just now

Raccoon Eyes: well MAYBE if he ANSWERED us

Katsuki: Delete it.

Tape Face: O SHIT

Tape Face: you summoned him

Raccoon Eyes: NO I WILL NOT

Katsuki: Delete it Raccoon Eyes or else I’m coming for you.

Tape Face: are you coming for the left shoes and shittin in them

Raccoon Eyes: NOOOOOOO not my shoes!!!!!!!!

Tape Face: its just the left shoes tho

Raccoon Eyes: BUT THATS MY FAVE SIDE

Katsuki: What the fuck are you two going on about?

Raccoon Eyes: DONT COME FOR M

Raccoon Eyes: Y LEFT SHOES KATS IM SORRY

Katsuki: I’m not coming for your fucking left shoes. Or any of your shoes.

Katsuki: I will be coming for you if you don’t delete that picture, though.

Raccoon Eyes: FORGIVENESS

Raccoon Eyes: I BEG

Raccoon Eyes: PLSSSSS

Katsuki: Delete the picture.

Raccoon Eyes: ugh fiiiiiiiiiine

Raccoon Eyes: its deleted

Raccoon Eyes: i wont send it to momo for the slide show

Katsuki: Good.

Raccoon Eyes: IF U COME TO THE REUNION

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: C’mon Katsuki!! It’ll be fun!!

Tape Face: ya it wouldnt do if we didnt have our exploding star

Raccoon Eyes: ill send momo WORSE if u dont come

Raccoon Eyes: nd u wont know WHAT til AFTER

Raccoon Eyes: so PLSSSSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PRETTY PLSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PLS COME TO THE REUNION

Raccoon Eyes: ill spam u a lot worse if u dont show us proof of rsvp

Raccoon Eyes: pls kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Katsuki: Ugh fucking fine, I’ll do the RSVP now then.

Raccoon Eyes: t

Raccoon Eyes: YAY

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Good afternoon, Bakugou! I just wanted to confirm with you that I have received your RSVP for the Class A reunion. As a reminder, if you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: Four Eyes is watching the RSVP form like a fucking hawk apparently.

Raccoon Eyes: YAAAAAY URE RSVPD!!!

Shitty Hair: You know him, always dedicated to his work

Tape Face: sweet

Raccoon Eyes: are u guys getting rooms

Tape Face: yea musutafus too far for a round trip

Tape Face: esp since itll prob end late

Shitty Hair: I got one for the weekend!

Tape Face: wbu mina

Raccoon Eyes: booked a room already!!

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaats wbu

Raccoon Eyes: u should

Raccoon Eyes: we could have a brunch or lunch or s/t thats just us

Raccoon Eyes: plsssssss kats

Katsuki: I’ll think about it.

Tape Face: better than a no lmao

Shitty Hair: If they run out of space or if you decide last second, you can room with me dude

Raccoon Eyes: awww why not a yes

Katsuki: I haven’t asked the other Four Eyes for the time off yet.

Tape Face: is this four eyes no4 or no15

Raccoon Eyes: four eyes no69

Raccoon Eyes: no wait

Raccoon Eyes: no420

Tape Face: haha blaze it

Raccoon Eyes: BLAZE IT

Shitty Hair: It’s number 7

Katsuki: Fuck you, I don’t have that many Four Eyes saved in my phone.

Shitty Hair: I’d be surprised if you had 420 contacts period dude

Raccoon Eyes: would b hilarious tho

Katsuki: Yes, it’s Four Eyes number 7.

Shitty Hair: I was right!!

Katsuki: Why would I ask any of the other Four Eyes for time off? They’re not my fucking bosses.

Tape Face: dunno

Raccoon Eyes: idk maybe ure secretly dating one a

Raccoon Eyes: nd have to confirm that its ok

Raccoon Eyes: ARE U SECRETLY DATING A FOUR EYES

Raccoon Eyes: U HAVE TO TELL US IF U ARE

Raccoon Eyes: URE LEGALLY OBLIGATED

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: scandalous

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up, I’m not dating anyone, secret or not.

Raccoon Eyes: thats what they all say

Katsuki: Whatever. I’m not dating anyone.

Raccoon Eyes: kats n four eyes no420 sittin in a tree

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: i

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: i

Katsuki: I’ll blow up all of your left shoes when you’re not home.

Raccoon Eyes: n

Raccoon Eyes: NO

Raccoon Eyes: IM STOPPING DONT DO IT

Shitty Hair: Hey what do you guys think of this photo

Shitty Hair: image.png

Tape Face: dude yes

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW OUR FIRST BILLBOARDS AS PROS

Katsuki: Do we really need to send them pictures? It’s not like we fucking forgot this stuff already.

Tape Face: you can be a killjoy if you want lmao

Tape Face: im sure mina will send more than enough to cover for you

Raccoon Eyes: U BETCHA

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: lmao why do you have a pic of katsuki throwing ei

Shitty Hair: I still can’t believe you did that bro

Shitty Hair: WITHOUT WARNING TOO

Katsuki: I gave you plenty of fucking warning.

Shitty Hair: Saying “I’m throwing you” AS YOU’RE THROWING ME is NOT PLENTY OF WARNING DUDE

Raccoon Eyes: im always ready to document golden moments

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up. We won the training exercise so what’s it fucking matter?

Shitty Hair: YOU THREW ME!!

Katsuki: Tape Face caught you before you could get hurt.

Shitty Hair: YOU /THREW/ ME!!!!!!

Tape Face: barely caught

Katsuki: Whatever.

Raccoon Eyes: im still impressed by how eASY u made that look

Katsuki: What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?

Raccoon Eyes: o look conveniently timed distraction photo spam

Katsuki sighed as he continued the conversation, commenting here and there on the photos his friends sent for judgement. In retrospect, he probably should have tried to talk to Shion first, since there was a chance she would have denied the time off for the reunion. Although, knowing her, she would have accepted just to force Katsuki into socializing. He opened up a new text message, figuring that if Shion did decide to deny the time off, he would at least have a screenshot to send to his friends explaining the sudden change in plans.

Katsuki: I need March 28th and 29th off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Do my eyes deceive me? The great Katsuki Bakugou, asking for time off?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): I’m amazed! Usually I have to ask you to take the day off!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Nay, not ask, but force!

Katsuki: Are you going to give it to me or not?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Depends! What do you need the time off for?

Katsuki: Class reunion.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Oh those are fun!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Fill out the proper time off paperwork and have it on my desk by Monday. I’ll approve the time off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Just keep your phone on you in case we need you to come in for an emergency, but I’ll try not to ruin your reunion with work.

Katsuki: Thanks.

Well, so much for an easy way out.

Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose when he noticed that his phone had already accumulated another thirty texts in the past few minutes, no doubt primarily from Mina. He scrolled through the backlog, sending a few mostly empty threats when he saw photos he did not want projected for the entire class to see, freezing when his gaze met a pair of familiar amber eyes.

Shit.

In his scramble to close out of the photo, to escape the genuine smile that somehow was more haunting than the one in his dreams, he left the group text completely. He briefly thanked his past self; he’d impulse or rage quit the group text plenty of times before that this wasn’t unusual behavior. If he was lucky, his friends wouldn’t have noticed the timing of his departure and would assume he was just fed up with the notifications or the conversation.

Shitty Hair: You okay, Katsuki?

A weak laugh escaped Katsuki’s lips as he read the newest notification. Of course Eijirou noticed.

Katsuki: I’m fine.

Shitty Hair: Okay

Shitty Hair: We don’t have to talk about it

Shitty Hair: But if you want to, I’m here dude

Shitty Hair: I’ll tell the others that you left so your phone would shut up and not to add you back yet

Katsuki: Thanks. Really.

Shitty Hair: No problem dude

Katsuki put his phone down, silently praying for the smile to leave him alone.

When he finally laid down for bed that night, he repeated the short prayer, for a peaceful night’s rest free of the smile, of the hurt, of the pain, of the guilt.

But as always, the smile came.

[jadedadultritsu]

(hope am not bothering) So like I looked up Birth flowers for January and October (wangxian's bday months) and idk if mxtx did it on purpose but the symbolisms of their birth flowers describes their personalities v accurately and if mxtx did assigned their birthday months like that on purpose they are an absolute genius (sorry if my words don't make sense I'm not very articulate but I need to infodump on some1 so am sorry)

You're not bothering me at all! Why would you think that. 😟😖😭

If anything, this is an opportunity for me to put my research skills into practice and I’m gonna go grab whatever. Also, this is actually an interesting question! :O I will do my best to answer this. So first off, I’ve consulted google if there is a similar ask from before bc 1) we don’t want a duplicate work 2) in case there’s already an existing ask, cross-referencing would be pretty nice :D 3) my memory fails me if I did see interpretations of WangXian birth flowers before, I think I did but I guess it got lost in the v. depths of the internet lmao. So if we looked up at the same site, there isn’t much to interpret actually. But I can def connect it to some events all across adaptions with a few takes haha. 

Ok ok, so here it goes:

For Lan Wangji: January - Carnations & Snowdrops

DUDE, both flowers can bloom in the cold winter months?! And this characteristic is RARE? HELL YES! These flowers are insane, they are to be envied by other flowers they should start shedding off their own petals by now lol (lemme at least personify them). You know who else could withstand such unbearable cold weather?

Him and HIM.

Carnations are also easy to spot bc of its bright color (pretty pretty boy Hanguang-jun in the crowd isn’t smth you see everyday).

Snowdrops symbolizes hope and rebirth. LWJ had hoped countless times already for different things but it’s not like it’s all directed solely for himself. LWJ isn’t a one-dimensional character who exists just to complement (or contrast) WWX’s chara. Remember the line Hanguang-jun being “wherever the chaos is”. I believe some ppl rlly wondered why LWJ didn’t take his own life if he truly loved WWX? (wtf is that even). Who wants another vers. of Romeo and Juliet? He wished to carry on bc of their oaths (paper lantern scene in CQL) and to ward off evil. Plus, WWX’s promise aligns to that of LWJ’s moral values so he HOPED to get them fulfilled as much as possible, prolly 'til his last breath. Ppl keep forgetting that LWJ is an individual too, while I could understand and relate when ppl see them as a single unit mostly. Song Lan still carried on with night-hunting with XXC and AQ’s souls HOPING he could mend them along the way. I'd say that "if he dies, I die too" death trope is so boring now, I could dieeee myself, sir. JC didn't dismiss the possibility of WWX reincarnating. So LWJ must've his fair share of hope that WWX would reincarnate anytime in his lifetime. He's not gonna pursue love anywhere else. It can only be WWX. LWJ's rule-abiding nature loosened significantly during the Nightless City incident. Post-burial mounds siege, he didn't completely cut himself off from the sect affairs, but he did engage with them minimally. That, my friend, is his own vers. of rebirth (a.k.a. character dev't)

Snowdrops are well-known for being droopy-shaped flowers. I interpret this as, although esteemed and ppl have high regards for him, HGJ could still humble himself inspite of the facts.

For Wei Wuxian: October - Marigold & Cosmos

Marigolds’ vibrant color says a lot abt October babies huh. Marigolds symbolize fierce love, passion and creativity. Fierce love for family? Burning passion for knowledge? Need I say more? Creativity idk why but the first thing that popped up in my mind is paper man Wuxian since he’s the only one shown to use that ability. WWX also strives to think outside of the box by thinking of a fourth method in LQR’s quest abt dealing with the resentful executioner’s ghost. I recall a tumblr user saying how WWX is a nerd locking himself up in the Demon-Slaughtering Cave performing experiments, inventing demonic tools, and whatnot. So he wasn’t merely a mischief-maker all along lmao. "Marigolds also have a long tradition of being used medicinally to heal inflammation and skin problems” - sure, if transferring the cursed mark from JL’s leg to your own leg would count lol.

Cosmos flowers represent peace and tranquility. Although loud most of the time, he can read and sense any f up situation and can appreciate peace at times and as needed. “They also attract bees, so are a great flower to grow to draw pollinators to your garden!” dkdnfkdnfdk LWJ is the bee. <3

So you’ve finally reached the end, I applaud you. Congrats and thank you for keeping up with me this far. Now let’s get to the real quest, did MXTX assign the birth months to her chara’s on purpose with that basis in mind? Was it purely coincidence? I vote for the latter. If I were a Danmei author and I wanted to assign a birth month for the stoic-faced and icy personality chara, I’d conveniently assign a winter month. Same goes for WWX. Since WWX shifted to the heretic and wicked path, I, too, would conveniently assign him a birthday near Halloween. Surely, the birth flowers interpreters have also given this a lot of thought associating the corresponding flowers accordingly to the seasons while meticulously considering the characteristics of these flowers.

[purplesurveys]

681

What's the first thing you thought in your head when you woke up today? I thought about calling Gab, which I did and which made me fall right back asleep. If your best friend confessed that they can see the future, you would...? I’d put likeeeee 15% trust in them because they’re still my best friend lmao, but I’d mostly be challenging them about their ~skill. I’d be curious to know when it started, what exactly is it they see, whether it’s been accurate the whole time they’ve had it, etc. Tl;dr I’d basically apply my journalism lessons irl lol. Write a random quote that comes to your head: “Tried to keep my eyes closed, I want you so bad, then I woke and it was so sad.” Idk if it counts as a quote but I’ve had this lyric by The Japanese House in my head for a few minutes. What's your opinion on milk chocolate? I like it, but it can get a little too sweet for me and I usually don’t like how too sweet feels for my throat. I’d take it over dark chocolate though. What about Dark Chocolate? I like it too, but I can probably only eat a block or two before finding it too bitter. Idk man, I’ve always been a white chocolate girl.

You do know that white chocolate isn't even really chocolate, right? Yeah, but it’s just the right amount of sweet for me so it’s always been my fave. Do you get annoyed when surveys mention a band you've never heard of? I entirely skip those surveys so that I just don’t have to deal with them, because yes I do get annoyed lol. What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl"? Ahead of its time. It’s not one of my favorite singles but I wouldn’t change the station if it suddenly played – and I’d certainly make my parents sit through the whole song. What's your least favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni. What would you do if you discovered the US was now drafting for the war? Aren’t they always in war with some other country? As someone from a relatively poor country it’s always been a little laughable, surprising, and even a little appalling seeing how much Americans spend for WAR. We’re here wishing every school had an adequate amount of desks and chairs, and they’re out there buying bombs and tanks. Sad. Are you even living in America, or are you from another country? Last question should answer that for you. What's your favorite social website? I love Twitter. Everyone is a mess in there and it’s where people hang out for the memes. It’s great. Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? I don’t really believe in it but a part of me finds comfort in the idea of reuniting with my loved ones after death. Still, I mostly think of death as permanent sleep – it just makes the most sense to me. What's your favorite video game? Not a big video game gal but I always wanna play Grand Theft Auto just to be a law-abiding citizen HAHAHA In your opinion, is Bzoink the best place to find fun surveys? It’s been my go-to for the longest time, so yeah.

What kind of mood are you in right now, and why? I’m a little more content than I’ve been in the last few days. I’ve recently been hanging out at our rooftop until very late at night because we have a pretty view of the city and the stars, and it’s sooooo peaceful up here; I dunno why I never hung out here before. I’m also more than halfway through the 1,500-word essay I need to do for one of my classes, so I’m feeling good and proud of myself. What's your opinion of high school? It’s all honestly so stupid with all the cliques, the proms, and the pressure to have high grades; but it’s also your chance to be dumb, make friends, make mistakes, and have fun. Some of my most precious memories, important lessons, and best relationships came from high school, so as stupid as it got sometimes, I’m always grateful for the four years. Do you prefer the country or city? CITY. I’m already too used to the internet, the nice restaurants, and the hustle and bustle of the city to be separated from it. That’s not to say I don’t like vacationing in provinces – I really do, but it’s only a matter of time before I get homesick for the city. Texting: Is it fun, evil, boring, or none of the above? It’s none of these things for me? It’s just convenient, lmao. What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? Gmail. What's your favorite dumb pick-up line? Pass on here, I’ve never liked pickup lines. What are your plans for the next 48 hours? Did you ever read "Captain Underpants" when you were little? OMG yes I diiiiiid. My parents didn’t allow to buy me those books cos they were a little immature, but I lived with a cousin who had the complete series. They were SO fun to read and so funny and the doodles were really entertaining. What's better: The old Cartoon Network, or the new one? Or do you not care? THANK you for the third option. I don’t care. Disney Channel shows are all pretty cheesy, aren't they? They definitely are now, but maybe that’s just because I’m older now. Older people in 2006 probably found That’s So Raven and The Suite Life corny too. What's your opinion on the Jonas Brothers? Crazy talented, both in 2009 and their recent comeback. I vibe with Sucker today the same way I vibed with SOS when I was 10 years old. What are some of your favorite singers/bands? I enjoy listening to Paramore, Beyoncé, Hozier, Ariana Grande, Hayley Williams as a solo artist, Coldplay, and Ben&Ben. Why do the lead singers in bands always get the most recognization?! Because they’re typically the most recognizable ones in the group. You have your guitars, basses, keyboards, drums... and I think people often recognize vocalists as the one that sets the band apart from others. Just my two cents though, and this is certainly not meant to undermine the band members who do play instruments. Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? I did at one point, but my parents ruined any fictional character for me when I woke up not finding any money under my pillow. What's your favorite type of weather? Just any kind of weather that blocks the sun out is great with me. What's your opinion on reading books? If you have the time and passion for it then honestly good for you. I stopped being a bookworm a long time ago and I never got back into the groove. You're given a chance to act in a hollywood blockbuster! Would you accept? If I was a paid extra, sure lmao. What it if it was a movie directed by Tim Burton? (He directed Sweeney Todd) I know who Tim Burton is. Again, only if I were an extra lol. How do you feel about Taco Bell? It’s so good. I don’t care how unhealthy it is or what it’s actually made out of; it’s great comfort food for me haha. Are you hungry right now? Now that you mentioned Taco Bell I do want some cheap fast food right now lmao, but I guess I’m not having anything like that until the lockdown is lifted :/ :/ How often do you go on to YouTube? Everyday. I watch at least one video a day. It's possible to be addicted to anything... What are you addicted to? Using my phone, I guess. What's your opinion of Wallgreens? I don’t have any, because I only see hear of it in American vlogs hahahaha. Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? 100%. Favorite cartoon as a kid. It’s still one of my favorites today. What's your dream pet? Any kind of dog except for chihuahua sounds like a dream. You see a mermaid while relaxing on the beach with friends. What now? Take a photo from afar and then share it with close friends. It’s up to them if they want to spread it on social media, but I’ll take a pass on that lol.

Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? I liked Ms. Ettie because she always made sure all of her music lessons came with an important life lesson. She always led the class with a lot of grace and poise and treated all her students with respect no matter how much they were struggling in class, and I admire her tremendously for it. When you were little, did you ever like Pokemon? I did. I had the books, video games, cards, and pogs. How often do you get headaches? Only when I’m really stressed from school and haven’t eaten. Do you have any songs stuck in your head right now? If so, what? Nope.

[faresramettas]

160219: skam italia x gay center event (part 1)

it’s going to be really hard for me to recap everything that happened yesterday, so i’m going to split this in two parts: one dedicated to the conference and one to the moment when we actually met them and took pictures etc. i’m sure all the things i’m going to report were already said yesterday in tweets and stuff but i wanted to have a place to write them all down cause my memory is so bad. warning: this got long.

the conference 

first of all, kudos to the gay center’s staff. so many people came they couldn’t fit them all in the conference room, so they decided to have a second shorter session so that no one would go home disappointed. they also said that afterwards we’d be able to take selfies and meet pietro, rocco and federico

spoiler alert: pietro, rocco and federico are literal angels. so sweet, funny, honest, humble, intelligent and well-spoken. ludovico bessegato is confident, smart and a savage. he dragged the whole fandom and yet we still love him cause he’s a genius

as soon as ludovico stepped on stage he made it clear that this was not an event about skam only and to please respect that. he said that they wouldn’t talk about season 3 and not to ask about it, and that’s why no info came out

the conference started with a presentation of the gay center. their representative introduced the work they do with the gay help line and talked about really heartbreaking cases of lgbt youth (12 and 14 year olds) who called to report violence from their own families. it was really hard to hear. they showed statistics of discrimination in italy and other data. their point was that skam s2 shows a positive reality where martino is able to come out to his friends and live his truth and his love, but unfortunately we have to be aware that these terrible realities exist too, especially in this country

the skam section started with a question to ludovico about his choice to include the voice messages in the first scene of s2. we watched that scene. he said he knew he wanted to do it from the start but recording and adding the voice messages was the last thing they did, one week before the release of the first clip. he came to the gay center in rome and met the young people and recorded the messages with them (i’m sorry, i’m not sure this is accurate) and he was moved to tears. that’s when he realized how important what they were doing with this season was. he said it was important for him, before showing the easiness of two people who can be together without external hardships, to start the season with the voice messages, as a reminder that these realities also exist

the host asked what was the most important thing for him, what he felt more responsible showing, and ludovico said for him it was the reaction of a group of heterosexual friends to one of their friends coming out. without dramatizing it or simplifying it too much. so the coming out with gio was the hardest scene cause there was a lot of weight on it. giovanni also had to be worthy of the moment. i loved this part: he said for him it was fundamental that giovanni touched martino right after his coming out, because it shows that nothing has changed between them, that they can still have a physical friendship, because so many times this doesn’t happen, straight friends pull back from/become less physical with their gay friends. their friendship not only hasn’t changed but is made more precious now

ludovico researched stuff like the gay street and grindr by experimenting them himself. he went to the gay street in rome and had a mission to get hit on (and he was lmao) and who did he meet that night? ROCCO, who went to the audition the morning after! incredible, he said he didn’t know rocco’s sexual orientation or anything but because he had seen him at the gay street he knew he could help give his input to the series, and of course pietro was precious as well to help with the representation

we watched the coming out scene and it was federico’s turn for questions (you could hear he had a cold, bb), the host asked him about how he felt/prepared for it and he said he felt a lot of pressure but he basically let martino lead him, he trusted his character that he had worked so hard on day after day and he also leaned on ludovico tersigni and bessegato. he hopes as many people as possible can relate to that scene, see themselves in it and live it

federico said the series enlighted him and made him reflect on lgbt themes and problems. he was never one to use homophobic slurs to follow the logic of the “pack” but it’s a thing, when you’re 15 or 16 you think you have to conform to what your friends say and do even if it’s harmful but this is why we have to spread awareness (”bisogna evitare il grigiume dell’uniformità” - we have to avoid the greyness of uniformity, he’s such a poet)

special mention to federico’s beautiful sweater, apparently he bought it in oslo, that sweater made his shoulders look even broader and it’s my new religion 

we watched the milan uramaki/wedding proposal scene and BITCH I HAD NEVER REWATCHED THAT PART CAUSE IT HURTS i swear we were all holding our breaths. that’s when the host asked rocco about gay marriage and he said italy is very late but at least we have civil unions now and it’s been hard fought for. it’s important to talk about gay marriage not so much for younger gens but for older generations. discriminations are always present so you can’t relax even when you reach a goal, you have to fight for the next one

when asked how he pictures his wedding, rocco said marriage is very far in the future for him, but whoever it’s going to be with his wedding is going to be very normal (”everyone naked is not a bad idea tho”) and y’all already know this part, he said he’s a person who’s experimented a lot and he HATES LABELS, for himself and for others (so maybe don’t call him pan king, u know what i’m saying). he’s experimented a lot and tried to figure out what he likes and he likes a little bit of everything (ME PIACE NPO DE TUTTO. i was there. i was there when he said that. iconic) he understands the need for labels cause they can help you identify yourself and give a sense of belonging but there’s also the risk that they can be too limiting

we watched fili’s speech and fede blew a kiss to pietro??? my heart

EMMA STA A ROSICA’ - cit pietro turano (emma is jealous af)

at this point besse DRAGGED US TO HELL AND BACK he said the fandom gets mad at emma and when characters say things that are wrong but it’s hypocritical (cause it’s a realistic show, no?)

he dragged the tumblr sjw politically correctness of fandom and something about how we all say we accept and love everyone but then WE are the first who feel the need to put labels on people and people in boxes. he said IT’S COOL TO HAVE NOORA’S QUOTE IN YOUR BIOS BUT DO ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY STICK TO ITS MEANING? YOU’RE THE FIRST WHO AREN’T KIND smth like that i swear i was a bit stunned

he also really didn’t like how everyone spoiled scenes and clips, ruining the experience for everyone while also creating false expectations, cause we expect things to happen and get mad if they don’t (ngl as a person who hasn’t watched the og i was like yeah tell em). idk, basically at the end of the speech all i got is that he’s an emma apologist

pietro said so many amazing things, like that when we have that moment of awareness, when we realize we are victims of behavioral schemes, prejudices and stereotypes deeply rooted in society, that’s when we can change the world. idk he’s seriously such a well-spoken smart person and he’s only 22

he also said in a video i have posted here that positive lgbt representations in tv shows/films are SO important for young people cause they need to see that there’s a positive reality out there for them too, that gay characters aren’t only the psychos, the ones who kill themselves or suffer

host dragged ludo for not including a beyonce song in the gay season but he said we can expect satisfactions from fili in s3

fede took the gay test and ludo told him the answers to get the totally hetero results, but when ludo took the test his result was Not totally hetero

rocco knows he looks like edward cullen, actually it was his first girlfriend when he was like 14 and before twilight was a thing that told him that he looked like cedric diggory aka rob pattinson. when twilight happened it all went downhill. the vampire outfit in the halloween clip was Not Casual. actually they had a line when someone told nico he looked like edward but it didn’t make the cut

fede said the hardest scenes, not because he couldn’t get in character but because of the expectations and pressures were the ones with mamma rametta (<333) and the coming out with gio. but the scene he hated the most was the i wanna be yours scene cause he said he went cross-eyed (è venuta di merda - it came out like shit)

host asked who’s top and bottom and they all laughed about it don’t worry (although i know someone asked again in the second session? and they said they switch idk, whatever)

at the end there was not a lot of time for questions but as soon as the host asked if we had any i IMMEDIATELY shot my hand up cause i thought i would regret it if i didn’t ask. so i stood up and pietro came to give me the mic (<33333333) and I WAS SO NERVOUS but i thanked them for all their work and then i asked rocco how he felt representing a character that’s not only lgbt but suffers from a mi, that he did a WONDERFUL job doing it because he helped so many people who suffer from bpd/mi to identify with niccolò (i accidentally said multiple personality disorder instead of borderline and i am so embarrassed but i swear. i couldn’t. think. i apologized too) if he felt he had more responsibility and if he could talk about the milan scene. he said he did feel a double responsibility and an additional pressure because henrik holm already did a splendid job, but he dealt with it like any other role, worked on the character like any other and tried to do it justice. he didn’t treat it differently. the milan scene was hard cause it was the very last one they did but they also had so much fun. he told us about bessegato pranking him and making him yell TABBBBASCOOOOO when he was running around naked in milan

i feel like i should mention that in the second session rocco said federico is a really good kisser (”bacia da dio” literally means “kisses like a god”)

that’s all i have and sorry this was so long. the conference was truly incredible. but meeting them afterwards was even more so and that’ll be part 2

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #242

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Hm... three or four? Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only one I *think* I remember is Katelyn. Thank fuck I dodged that bullet. Which is the most beautiful place you know? The mountains between NC and TN, if I remember correctly. I was very young. What do you work with? I don't work period & I hate it. Have you ever hit an animal with your car? Thank Christ no. Favorite ride at the amusement park? I guess ferris wheels. Favorite beauty essential in your bathroom cabinet? I don't have a "favorite" considering I don't use any regularly. Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? Nah. Do you tan easily? I burn like toast, man. Are you expecting something in the mail? No. Do you inspire others? Idk. What do you collect? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merch. Do you like cats? Hell yes!!! Are you healthy? If you excuse my weight and muscle atrophy, I'm actually pretty healthy, according to a billion tests I've gotten done when trying to discover *why* I had such awful pain in my legs. Have you ever been out of state? Yeah. Can you always blame your acts on that you were just too drunk? Fuck no. Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Well dying lmao, getting hurt, public speaking. How many times have you been overseas? Zero. Do you use to have someone in mind when shopping for underwear? Wait what the fuck- What accent do you have? I don't really have one, although I do have a southern tone with some words sometimes I suppose. I also do say things like "y'all" or "fixing to (do something)," so I use some Southern terminology. Where would you like to live? The mountains of western NC. Sigh. Do you follow fashion? No. Do you have a big butt? Ever heard of Hank Hill Ass Syndrome? I have Hank Hill Ass Syndrome. Your worst job nightmare is: Customer service EVER again. Who’s the coolest rapper in the world? Idk and idc. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I mean yeah, I think anniversaries are worth celebration. Healthy relationships aren't always easy to maintain; to remain in love takes forgiveness, loyalty, dedication... all that. It shouldn't be hard, but it takes effort. Have you graduated? High school, anyway. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, definitely. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. What’s your worst interior design nightmare: I dunno. Probably just being very crammed? What makeup brands do you use? I don't have any particular ones; I don't wear makeup enough. What’s the worst kind of rejection you could give someone? I genuinely feel it to be how Jason did so with me. Three and a half years in a very serious relationship, and he out of the blue breaks up with me over Facebook because my depression became "too much." Like by NOW I understand I can't shame him for wanting to be happy, but the way he did it was fucking cruel and tore me apart. Like especially when this person was your refuge from daily pain and pretty much your god and future (never make someone that, holy holy HOLY shit don't), that individual just suddenly having enough and breaking contact off like that was emotional murder. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Well yeah, but it's like... a "tamed" one? Is that an accurate word? Like I understand it just can't work right now, but it doesn't stop me from liking her. Is there anyone that many people think is hot, but you don’t? I'm sure there's someone. Do you sort and organize your clothes in some kind of way? Sorta. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? Nervous, skittish, more awkward than usual. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? Brendon Urie is in P!atD and Patrick Stump is in Fall Out Boy. Freddie Mercury was the vocalist of Queen. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Yeah, Mom still has some up lmao. How often do you wear chapstick? Only when my lips are actually chapped. Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Definitely off. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Collecting stickers, maybe? How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Sloth is on the daily lmao, gluttony, and lust. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Not always, of course not. It depends on the comfort level, and I would ALWAYS ask first. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? I don't really watch music videos, and idk about lyrics. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? Math. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora? No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? I think I'm good at both, but I probably excel in creative writing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? No clue. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? Seen, I guess a chinchilla, though that's not really "weird." If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? Eyes. When was the last time you had a ‘she-mergency’? I had to look this up to be certain what that even was lmao. Probably some time I started my period at school and had to use folded toilet paper or something for a while. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I'd say it depends on the make-up of each and its cleanliness. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I think it was called The Amazon Trail 3? It was a damaged disc however, so it froze a lot. I think I only finished it once or twice; even knowing it would likely crash, I just liked playing it as far as I could. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? No. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why, to name perhaps the #1. What is your opinion on fruitcake? NO. Here’s a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? Oh fuck off, neither. Who did you last dream about? I can't remember what it was about, but I know Mark was in it lmao. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Sometimes. My memory is atrocious. Which animal can you imitate the best? Audibly? Probably a cat. Which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? Sand. I FUCKING hate walking through sand. It's one reason I don't like the beach. Do you like sour candy? oml YES. If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? N/A Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what and how? Not anything I can remember. Are you a clumsy person? You have no idea. How about disorganized? I'm oddly split down the middle. Last male you talked to in person? My dad. Have you ever had a sunburn? Oh boy, I've gotten past that. Try sun poisoning. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? PINK! Chocolate or strawberry milk? Oh boy, chocolate. I tried strawberry as a child and absolutely loathed it beyond words known to man, and I will not be giving it a second chance. I remember it pristinely. Disgusting. What volume is the ringer on your phone? It's on vibrate. Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No. Do you often write on yourself? I never do, 'less we're talking about tattoos lol. Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? No. Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I hate the latter, so I guess frosted flakes, though I don't really remember how they taste. Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I hate them, so they obviously have enough flavor for me to notice them... What about onions? Yes. Are you a fan of Thai food? I've actually never had Thai food. How about Indian food? Same as above. Have you ever tried sushi? No. In your opinion, who would be the best president? I don't know. What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? I have no ide- oh wait I paid for Teddy's surgery with... money I don't know from whence it came? Was it financial aid money? Idr. Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? Pj pants and a tank top. When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? Probably take a nap late in the day, ending in me being unable to sleep well at night. Thankfully, I decided against it. Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Yes. Well, not current best friend, but a former one. How many times did you ride in a car today? Zero. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Fuck no. What's absolutely splendid is even when/if I lose the weight I aim to, I'm going to have loose skin that literally might make me hate my body more until I without argument muster up the money to get it surgically removed. Are you in a good mood right now? I'm alright. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Been quite a while. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, had some cereal. Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? No. Do you live on your own? No. I don't even think I could tolerate living alone because of my depression and how loneliness can severely trigger it. I'm realistically probably not moving out until it'll be with an s/o. If not, who do you live with? I live with my mom, my sister's dog, and my cat and snake. How old are your siblings, if you have any? I have a lot, and I don't know the ages of all of them, only my two immediate sisters: 26 and 21. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No. What was the last free t-shirt you received from? School. Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? February 4th, baby. Tattoo gets fixed up by an artist I like far more. Him not having an open booking until then should say enough. Are you an atheist? No. Are you Asian? No. Are you fluent in another language? No. Are you in the military? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Are you an artist? Not professional, but I enjoy making art. Are you a musician? No. Are you an athlete? Oh, hunny- Do you have a favorite flower? I really like orchids. Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Great question... The trip to my therapist is about an hour, but not over. Why were you going there? For therapy. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom, idk. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Hell no, I wouldn't even if I was in great shape. How many websites do you have an account for? WHEW I have no idea, A LOT over all the years. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Well, WoW is an online game, so a subscription, though because I obviously don't have my own money, I'm sadly rich enough in the game to use monthly tokens. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Not always. I try to avoid it because I just hate doing it. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Well I obviously don't know how I'd react on impulse, but I'd imagine myself locking my door and then climbing out the window. Then run like a motherfucker up the road some to a neighbor's, or hide in the nearby woods and call Mom. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Meat lovers sobs in wannabe-vegetarian. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yes, very. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don't know. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yeah, particularly "breakfast." I tend to put a "t" after the "k." Do you have your own computer? Yeah. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mom. Who’s the bravest person you know? Oh man, that's hard. I know a lot of brave people. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? More than anyone in the world, Mom. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Yeah. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? By this point in time, I consider how I spoke to Jason before going to the ER multiple times absolutely terrible, and yes, it did take a very long time for me to realize just how cruel it was. Now it's fucking HARD to accept I ever said what I did. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yes. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Nope. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? I would assume Sara still does, but again, we know a relationship between us just isn't wise right now. What profession do you admire the most? The most? Man, that's hard to decide. Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firefighters, cops (yes, I am aware some abuse their power, but good cops deserve all the respect in the world), etc. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don't believe so, no. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Bad things happen to good people and no, the universe does not care. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well obviously.

[komatsunana]

Chronicles of Exandria: The Legend of Vox Machina II

I did this for the first volume, so I bought this artbook right away just to do it again. <3 My Winter’s Crest gift to all the critters.

The art. Once again I cannot overstate the stunning artwork of the critter community. I know some fans balk at the price, but all the artists are paid to have their art in the book - and I think the big price tag is well worth artist getting some compensation for their work (do correct me if I’m wrong). I won’t be sharing any photos of of the art, but most of it is available online already.

However, I will share this photo of the print on the box the book came in:

Excerpt of the Foreward:

“The memories in this book are real. They were created with love and laughter around a table with friends, and let loose on the wind to find what ears would listen.  The joys and pains of every winding turn still occupy our minds daily and if you are reading this, I suspect they live on in yours as well.  We were there.  We witnessed it unfold.” 

Vox Machina was only able to scry on Scanlan once, as seen in the episode Jugs and Rods, but some time after Scanlan warded himself against arcane sight.

The Mantle of the Tempest is described as “eternal autumn leaves.”

Keyleth goes on to rule with wisdom and grace.

Usually the Cobalt Soul has problems researching historical figures for whom there is little written word about...... With Taryon they had the opposite problem: there was too much! lmao. And 90% of it is believed to be embellished or flat out lies.

Nicknames that Taryon gave himself and were never used by anyone ever: “The Winsome Winner of Wildemount,” “Talented Tary,” “Golden-Maned Guardian of Good,” and “The Vindicator.”

Uvenda, the gnome in Vesrah, is still alive!! She’s stepped down as leader now and is the tale-teller of Vesrah.

The Ashari call the kraken that VM fought for Keyleth’s Aremente “Ulugrah the Requisite.”

Uvenda claims that Ulugrah, upon learning that the creatures it had trounced were legendary heroes (I’m assuming they mean Vox Machina), it boasts about it’s victory against them to anyone who will listen any who come to its lair in the Plane of Water.

Tova went by different epithets including: “The Bear,” “Little Half-Ear,” “The Bloody-Handed,” and “The Skin Changer.” After surviving the Hells thanks to Vax’s ring of invisibility, she gained the name “The Unseen Death.”  Little else can be verified about Tova, but none of her friends she went to with Dis survived.

Grey Hunt Lore

Lord Wolf de Rolo and Lady Melanie van Musel de Rolo were the leaders of the 4th reign of Whitestone. It was a political marriage and Melanie was particularly unhappy. She had a garden filled with flora and fauna from her home in Wildemont. The garden is now known as the Widow’s Garden and many of the plants were poisons that she used to slowly assassinate Lord Wolf with.  

After being injured in the Great Whitestone Fire, he couldn’t recover because of the poison and he died leaving Melanie the ruler. She decided to redraw the lines of the city walls, pushing into the Parchwood Timberlands which didn’t go well. Construction was plagued by accidents, animal attacks, and phantoms were reported (such as of Lord Wolf) - though the construction of a Temple of the Dawnfather went unhindered.  

Lady Melanie’s cousin was Ivan van Musel, a cleric, and he declared that Melanie had pissed off the Dawnfather by expanding without showing reverence. Ivan went into the forest after much mediation and was later found battered but alive atop a felled Direwolf.  Ivan had a vision in which the Lawbearer agreed to the expansion no further than where Ivan had felled the Direwolf and that from here on, a citizen of Whitestone must venture into the Parchwood when called to do so and be tested. 

Melanie created the title Grand Master of the Grey Hunt, the third ruling house of Whitestone, for Ivan.  The third house has since forth been in change of the Grey Hunt and managing the city’s relationship with the world beyond the city walls.

Hundreds of gold in property damage during Vox Machina’s stay at Dalen’s Closet while VM “relentlessly pranked” each other.

Whitestone became a thriving metropolis during VM’s year off - in part because of Allura keeping it safe during Thordak’s reign while everywhere else was ravaged.

K’yrrn - the dark elf that kidnapped Taryon - is from Xhorhas!

Though Tary could be called a fool, a braggart, a coward... in the moment he stood against his father’s selfishness and bigotry and forgave and reconciled with him is described as being more valiant than slaying.

Lionel Gayheart had “an unusual case of amnesia.”

JB Trickfoot continued to work in Whitestone’s library and it’s thanks to many of her notes that the Cobalt Soul has as much as they do on Vox Machina.

“Uh, yes, the very first thing I remember about meeting Vox Machina was when the red-haired lady jumped off a mountain.  It was grisly.  But what I’ll remember forever is what happened afterward.  The coin that Lady Vex’ahlia used, the glow of light, the power.  It brought her back to life.  They really were like gods.”

Taryon’s autobiography’s dedication:  “This book is dedicated to Lawrence.  But it is for my family.”

Taryon thinks his father was actually proud of Tary’s Darrington Brigade.

Tary never liked his father, but after returning home Tary began to love him.

Mariya, Tary’s mom, was part of the Brigade and took care of the injured warriors.

Maryanne, Tary’s sister, became the driving force behind the Darrington Fund charity and even gave up her home for those less fortunate than herself.  When she called Tary “brother” it was no longer an insult.

Tary is most proud that his mother finally has a united family, one to be proud of.

Kaylie Shorthalt talks a bit about Lionel - says he was a goofy son of a bitch. He kept talking to her about ducks though.  He once tried to show her his house, but he just took her to an oasis in the middle of desert that was full of ducks.

The Cobalt Soul doesn’t like to spread rumors but they do have theories of Lionel’s Marquesian mallard heritage.

Aes Adan, aka the Meat Man, rise to power coincided with the disappearance of several low to mid level criminals.

A scholar once went to visit Scanlan to interview him to see if the rumors were true that Scanlan had been the Meat Man.  The Scribe returned, unable to remember anything from his visit.  In his notebook were only crude drawings of ducks.  Scanlan still using that Modify Memory...

The fucking Cobalt Soul knows that Scanlan sacrificed the 9th level spell he was saving for Vax to stop Vecna from leaving.  It’s history folks.

For the folks out there who love the Briarwoods’ love for each other, some of an excerpt of Delilah’s journal:  “No matter the cost, my love, I will do it.  I care not how many must die, or how grave the sins must be that I commit.  I broke the world once for you, Sylas.  I shall do it again, and again, and again, for you.  For us.  Forever.”

Vecna envied the Raven Queen, as her followers did so not just because they feared her, but because they loved and respected her too.

Vecna threatened the assembled protectors of Vasselheim, saying that it would be the perfect place for ambush, but that’s no fun when there are many less-protected loved ones.  People he threatened include Earthbreaker Groon’s daughter (Desir), Vord’s family, J’mon’s concubines, all of Whitestone and particularly Cassandra.  And Young Velora Vessar, “playing alone in her room.”

The Everlight: Redeemer of All

“Comprehension is the only true measure of dominion.”

Pelor, The Dawnfather: The Primordial Light

“Faith is defined by the darkness we have not conquered.”

Ethrid Brokenbranch AKA Sprigg the Obnoxious gets his own book of history by the Cobalt Soul.  Autobiographical writings were found in the wreckage of his house

The Goddess Ioun: Our Knowing Mistress

“Comprehension is the only true measure of dominion.” (This is the same quote as for the Everlight - idk which one is the error.)

The Raven Queen: The Matron of Ravens

“By my grace, all are rendered equal.”

It is forbidden to study Arkhan the Cruel.

Vox Machina lived out the rest of their days in relative happiness and peace.

Percy’s magnum opus is the Clock Tower of Whitestone - a national treasure of Tal’Dorei.

Vex continued to rule as Baroness for a time after Percy’s passing.  Vex saw her bother’s spirit after the birth of her first child.  She reconciled somewhat with her father and showered Velora with love and blessings.

Kaylie went to school at the Alabaster Lyceum in Emon on Scanlan’s dime.

Pike and Scanlan had a lengthy courtship.

Tary’s book The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Ser Taryon Darrington contained an accurate account of his time with Vox Machina, even if nothing else is accurate.

Grog helped Earthbreaker Groon restore the Temple to the Stormlord while staying Vasselheim, defending his title in the Crucible.

The final, actual words of the book that aren’t a dedication or part of an image:  “And as the story is told: ‘Everyday that raven comes to visit.’” ;’(

There is a stunning four page fold-out page of Percy’s clock tower. I cannot emphasize enough how lovely it is.  The end of it dedicates it to Vex and is quoted with, “I couldn’t have asked for a better dream.”

On the other side of the fold-out are some... sketches of Percy’s notes? It seems that Diplomacy is now powered up by Cabal’s Ruin.

 As part of “Cobalt Souls” thank you page: “Within a book, a story can only sleep. It requires a reader to give it life.”

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[m1nkyun]

‘we must love’ mv theory

hi welcome to my wild theory :^) i never really wrote anything like this down before BUT this storyline was too good to not attempt to figure out and ive been thinking about this since the mv teaser dropped. so here’s what i think what’s going on in the mv. just a lil disclaimer ig,  that all of this is just what im picking up from the music videos, so just take this theory into consideration not as fact lol. plz humor me bc i’ve been writing this for almost 5 hours and im gonna lose it. so plz join me in this wild adventure thru different timelines and universes that also tie into ‘on/off’ and ‘complete’ bc onf’s concept is wild :^)

to connect everything with ‘we must love’ we gotta recap on the first two music videos real quick. so buckle up kids lets GO. im basing this off my vague remembering off of the explanation for the ‘on/off’ mv, i can’t remember where exactly they explained it but if i’m remembering right. they’re all androids and laun is their energy provider. i think the android part may have been apart of my own theory when on/off first came out (reason being is their barcodes) but laun is 100% the one who provides the energy or something like that. lol. something to note here is hyojin, e-tion, and j-us are mostly a trio together and really the only ones you get to see in uniforms together in the mv. (other than the scene where laun passes out and everyone’s like o dam. ) they are the three to look into laun’s room. and there’s the fact that they were just chilling in his room learning about the globe and stuff. notable since they’re the most prominent ones in the great search for laun 2k19. just food for thought 🤔

here’s showing when laun put in too much energy in this machine and ended up passing out.

putting “my name is” and a picture of himself, this may be because he had some sort of memory loss as a result from the pass out. he has this as a reminder for himself.

and this very interesting cinema board may be something to look at here, maybe predicting the future to come in this universe lmao.

(a side note, in the ‘on/off’ mv, laun’s barcode is on the back his neck but in ‘we must love’, its on the side of his neck. whether or not this is important or a continuity error idk lol. in general im just gonna ignore the barcode rule bc i didnt see it on anyone else in we must love so IDK. ive actually only remember seeing it on hyojin and laun i think. the barcodes are so confusing idk what to to with them :^( ) before i continue to the next mv, i just want to point out the MAJOR object that truly connects everything together, this funky lil asteroid:

this bad boi is a lil demon in disguise. Complete: the connections to ‘on/off’ are very minimal to a sense of you can just excuse them as “references” rather than any clues as it to being set in another universe. but that’s honestly exactly what it is. it was more than just cute lil callbacks to their first music video. this is legit just same boys, same timeline, different universe. example one:

the bad boi returns. mk looking up at this asteroid is very important. you’ll see later or you already know why probably lmao. two: the machine laun’s messing with may be the energy source machine that’s used in this universe. it does have a little card slot in it.

and then THIS SCENE:

asteroids literally raining down. very similar to the opening scene in ‘we must love’ this may be the start of what’s happening as a result of the ‘on/off’ / ‘we must love’ universe.

AND NOW THE ‘WE MUST LOVE’ once again, starting off the mv is mk looking at the asteroids raining down like, a doomsday type of feel rather than a cute shooting star kinda feel as the previous ones. it’s not even the same as when j-us in ‘complete’ was surrounded by asteroids because this time there’s literally ember falling around the era. it’s definitely more danger feel than in ‘complete’. i think the reason the world is quickly heading to danger is because of laun leaving the facility. he’s not just the energy to them, but to the whole world? and since he’s gone, everything’s s starting to get out of control.

laun wakes up in a forest, looking completely lost unaware where he is.

and then here, he’s having flashbacks to two scenes that happen later in the music video. where they try to stop him from leaving. and when hyojin confronts him. due to the glitchiness of the memories, i’m believing that the memories are leaving him and he’s going through memory loss again like in ‘on/off’.

j-us over here in laun’s room trying to locate his whereabouts. in the address you can see it says “universe 01” at the bottom. basically confirmed that there is multiple universes and they’re at least 99 of them. wow good luck finding him now.

yuto’s clock being 3:14 is the same length as the music video. at first i thought it might have been a timer for how long everyone had in the universes they were sent to to find laun but then i realized they were most likely there for more than that amount of time so idek lol. BUT i thought’d i’d keep this part in here as just something to think about ig.

this is where it gets…. sad. laun’s looking out of the window which we now know can change screens. assuming that it’s actually a window to the other universes, laun looks out admiring the nature and such.

the way he looks out the window is so longing, like he wants to experience it himself. other than when he needs to be out, he’s always trapped in this room. even in “on/off” all of his solo scenes were him cooped up in his room. the only time he was actually out of his room and not in uniform was him sadly holding a balloon. this kid has discovered the beauty of nature and really wants to venture out to see it himself.

im not sure if it’s suppose to be the same room but there are a lot of similarities to the both of them. im thinking maybe due to being on a different set, they did what they could to resemble laun’s original room? because a big thing here is laun’s window, which is basically his freedom. which from the outside it’s just a window looking in, but what if it’s a two way window? on laun side it has the capability to show different universes, other side looking in his room to check on him.

right after j-us finds laun’s location, seemingly figuring out this whole ordeal, since he was also reading some sort of message. he gets caught. with the sign being said “Danger: Time Travel Operate”, it’s possible that time travel is illegal within the facility, probably specifically to the students, because of how dangerous it is.

my idea as to why this scene is happening is because laun’s presence lead hyojin to here. except laun isn’t here exactly. he was there but in another universe. and the fade outs are showing that. they’re always so close, yet so far.

then there’s this flashback to when everyone frantically trying to stop laun from time traveling, they know how dangerous time traveling is and they’re trying to save him

his arm is out as if he’s trying to tell them to stay back (not in a mean way of course, but in a “plz let me do this” way). but in a later scene he looks even more worried, maybe last second regretting this decision. he’s probably aware the dangers of time traveling, he’s ready to risk it all in the name of nature, but i dont think he’s fully aware how vital it is for he himself to stay in that place.

e-tion finally comes across laun, the real laun. but before he can call out to him, e-tion disappears. i have two theories to this. 1. continuing on from like the laun & hyojin scene from before. they’re in the same place, but different universes. but imo that wouldnt really make sense because e-tion clearly sees laun. in hyojin and laun’s scene, i think it’s clear that neither of them saw each other since hyojin just walked off. 2. e-tion’s time travel watch is on a timer. and right before he can catch laun’s attention, the watch sends him back to his own universe. :( which i think is more accurate. which means that the fade outs have multiple purposes.

there he is

and there he go

and here’s to what i dub is the absolute saddest part of this entire music video (other than laun crying )’: ) yuto stayed behind in the facility in their classroom. its showing everyone having fun, wyatt looking up into the sky :^),  probably the daily antics of their classroom breaks. but then its everyone fading out to an empty room. it’s showing what used to be. when they were all together. yuto is reminiscing on the past. he misses his friends and my heart HURTS.

and with the final scene. hyojin finally catching up to laun. this scene is kinda complicated for many reasons. laun looks right at hyojin but turns around and hyojin disappears. 1. the same theory of different universes. laun may have felt hyojin’s presence and turned around to check to see if anyone was behind him, but left after seeing no one was there. which will be wild bc then laun woulda had a stand off - stare off with the air if that was the case.

2.he clearly saw hyojin, but he just had no idea who he was due to the memory loss. and being the nice boy laun is, he’d just smiled at him and went on his way. making hyojin miss his last chance of catching laun due to the timer that sent him back to his universe. also remember, this scene was involved in laun’s memory wipe in the beginning of the mv. and this is the only scene that’s in black and white. was it a flash back in this scene, or a flash forward from laun when he was in the woods?

some after thought questions i have:

why did hyojin have to use an emergency button to time travel, but e-tion had a watch similar to laun. and how did mk and wyatt get to where they were as well. i would make the suggestion that mk is actually in the ‘complete’ universe due to the asteroid storm, but then there’s this scene. behind him are screens showing the different universes everyone’s in. (including the one he was in).  maybe he went to the ‘complete’ universe after this scene, but how did he get there. 🤔

that being said i have no idea about wyatt’s part. him with the motorcycle, and then running through the city. yeah he’s probably looking for laun too, but im kinda sad that there wasn’t more to it like everyone else :( i just dont know. and to tie it all together, the lyrics of the song are directly about all of this. “losing memories” “past, future, a different world”. it a song about a familiar feeling with someone as if you knew them in the past, future, a whole different universe, like you were bonded by time. this music video doesnt just tie that in on its own, but also with ‘on/off’ and ‘complete’. i just find it completely genius the way they went about it and im really curious if this concept will continue and i really hope it does because there’s so many unanswered questions. is laun gonna be ok, will they bring him back safely, is the world gonna be ok, most importantly, where’s wyatt. the only thing i haven’t brought up is the astronaut lady in ‘on/off’ because i have no idea where’d she fit into the other mvs. but she is so valid. so basically, tl;dr, laun wanted to universe travel to all the beautiful places he’s seen through his alternate universe looking window to temporally escape from the confines of his room where he always has to stay cooped up in, as seen in the ‘on/off’ mv. he ended up losing his memory from doing so since he’s pretty prone to memory lost, causing mostly everyone to go out looking for him and failing at the last moments. and now the world is in peril because laun’s basically the earth’s control center but he’s lost and not in the facility where he can keep things balanced. tl-tl;dr: laun just wanted to see the real world but then it turned into where’s waldo: laun edition, except if we cant find laun fast the whole universe is going to die.

i hope u enjoyed my lil theory, plz dont be afraid to share your theories with me or let me know if i missed anything important, or messed up anything in this theory. im all open to discuss this amazing cinematic masterpiece that our lord and saviors onf is providing us with!!

[bangtan-ballum]

what i remember from the interactive introverts show in belfast (28.5.2018) SPOILERS

 this is all from memory so quotes and the order may not be completely accurate but close enough.. *pretty detailed spoilers*

- before the show began and the playlist was on, 'dans siri' kept interrupting saying "this is dans siri he left me to go look at some memes i hope you’re enjoying the playlist" and it telling us there’s no recording allowed and to turn our phones off or "ill beat you up only i cant because i’m just an ipad"

- the playlist had bts mic drop and red velvet peek-a-boo and everyone started singing and dancing to it and i was shook so many were fans of kpop omg i was liVING. 

- explaining his tweet "the weirdest thing happened, sorry if you’re here but omg that would be weird, we were sat on a bench and then this little boy wearing a fedora walked by, stopped, looked back and did this *tipped his hat* like was that directed at me?? there was no hello, nothing! and then he waited and did it again?!" he asked phil if he seen him and he said he did. dan said "phew if you didn’t i thought, i’ve just seen god, god just came to me in this form to judge me. and if he did id be going down (to hell). i am not prepared for that" 

- talking about the stage and the amazing graphic design and the two big i's at the side of the stage and dan said "look at those long boys" then called them phallic 

- a photo of dan inspired by my horse prince with the caption "ride me senpai" and phil said it was from his own personal files so he doesn’t know how that got there.. 

- phil saying they want to get to know us better but bc theres not enough time for them to take us all out for a coffee and a chat (how cute, and then everyone became soft for them and said aww) so they decided to try to get to know use all at the same time

- the audiences collective name was karen

- "you’re just not there yet. you need to get inside karen" *dan looks at phil in disgust* "phil...join karen, connect with karen" dan later goes onto say "get inside karen" and phil says "see you’re as bad as me" 

things dan and phil will not be doing tonight: 

- 'erotic role playing': *phil wearing a police helmet and carrying a baton* "officer(maybe captain) phil(maybe philly) here, danny’s been a bad boy" then dan appears holding handcuffs "please be careful with the handcuffs i have sensitive skin" 

- the show will also not be a live viewing of dan and phil in their apartment. they then showed videos of them doing things round the house and phil was eating cereal out of the box and dan was on the toilet. 

- the show will not be a giant party with all their friends and they put party hats on and then the voice said “no because none of the people replied to their messages bc they have no friends. none.” lmao 

- the show will not be them stripping and they ripped their shirts off to reveal they had the same shirt on underneath

- "unleash the bees" then "sting me daddy" by dan ofc 

- they tested themselves and had to say the same thing under the topic of "kitchen objects" and they both said whisk and said that they never say the same thing and that was only the second time they’ve done that and they were so happy about it omg

- when doing the simulation part dan was in his fur suit and had to go to the toilets but the men’s was locked and the options we had to choose from was to "ask someone for the passcode" or "use the lady door" (i know) and dan went on to say that this is why we need to diminish the concept of gender and everyone clapped and cheered omg i love him

- during the how many think we know the real dan and phil bit, dan said something about how we know certain thing (that i dont remember) and how we know some of their kinks 

- dan being v concerned about how we kept cheering for satan and judged the people of belfast for seeming happy to be making a deal with the devil lol. 

- during the sacrifice of dan (what context?) phil came out in a leather apron with gloves and said he is wearing his best serial killer outfit. 

- phil getting ready to shoot a spinning dan with an arrow and says "forget katniss everdeen, this is philniss philerdeen" 

-phil misses the board and hits dans hip and dan said “if that was 5 inch to the left then we would not have been friends anymore”

- dan trying to get off the wheel and phil asked if he needs to unstrap him and dan said "i’ve had enough of you unstrapping me" idk if he actually said that but i s2g that’s what i heard at the time and how i will remember it LMAO 

- dan had to untie phils apron and the audience died and dan was done with all of us. 

- phil saying it was distracting watching dan get out of his padded suit and then dan tried to sexily get out of it whilst phil was talking and phil stopped and stared at dan and said "im just gonna let him do it" and so in the end we all just watched as dan struggled to step out of it and then literally also tripped. then a few minutes later he realised he still had one of the shoe protectors on his foot (he called it a shower cap lol) and then took it off and awkwardly walked to the side to set it down then awkwardly walked by and laughed under his breath.

- according to the audience dan has a stress mushroom, apple and a girls motivation locked in the box under his bed. dan was extremely concerned as to why she thinks he has locked an apple in the box. and everyone laughed when the other girl said her motivation and dan said "i too have my motivation locked in a box and i’ve lost the key" 

- phil saying the key to dans box was v 50 shades of grey bc of the red ribbon

- at some point they both said a word wrong and both times they did The Thing™ they do when they mock each other when they make a mistake.

- 'phantastic phacts' as a title on screen. phil says "like what we did there?" 

- dan saying his phil trash #1 

- phil saying “put your nipples away” (when a photo of a topless man appeared on screen) and said it in some type of accent LMAO i died

- dan saying they are super best friends and soulmates -im dead- 

- wholesome howell and x-rated lester made an appearance (they swapped roles and were given topics and phil had to make good things sound bad and dan had to make bad things sound good) also when dans photo of him as an angel with a halo and a rainbow behind him, he looked at the audience, smirked and said "its very fitting" i would like the think he meant the gay ass rainbow behind him but y’know. 

- dan saying to god "implode me daddy" when he had to make the topic of the world imploding seem appealing. phil laughed under his breath and said “never say implode me daddy again” 

- *phil having to make meeting beyonce sound bad and he said bc hes so clumsy that he'd trip and kill her and was really dramatic whilst saying it and dan was stunned and just looked in shock at phil then us and said "are you as traumatised as i am right now" 

- dan having to make stepping in a puddle while wearing socks seem good and screamed and said "NO that is literally the worst thing in the world..ok you dont appreciate dry feet until suddenly they’re not. once a day we should all put on a fresh sock and go to the kitchen and step in something moist just to remember-" phil interrupts shouting no and dan continues saying "do you ever feel like you need a drink. well, with a wet sock you can just- *lifts his foot to his mouth and everyone dies on the spot* 

- dan and phil struggling to pronounce all the irish names and everyone was screaming how to pronounce it and dan made everyone be quiet and squealed "wAIT. just one person" LMAO and then the one time phil said a name right and everyone cheered for him 

- dan would happily become an amazing dancer even if it meant phil would wake up with 2 left hands and 2 left feet because he says it wouldn’t make a difference in phils life bc hes that clumsy now it’d probably be the same with 2 left feet. 

- phil would save dan from being bitten by a vampire even though it would mean that buffy the vampire slayer never existed. they talked about how the vampire could bite him and he could live forever as a vampire and phil said he would bring him bloody treats (then dan referenced to before when phil was x-rated lester*) and said "what kind of bloody treats?? omg it would be beyonce he killed beyonce and will feed me her corpse" then said "no what if they just want me dead" and then phil decided to save him. 

- dan thinks this phil without the fringe is an impostor and he killed the real phil. he screamed a couple of times throughout the show to ask where the real phils body was and said will get him to confess eventually. 

- "are you really just a lizard in a phil suit..because that would explain a lot" phil is a scalie confirmed. 

- phil constantly squatting/slut dropping to the buzzer sound effect 

- i cant remember the context but phil said something about him having layers and dan stopped and said “layers?? are you shrek? what do you think this is, shrek the musical?”

- phil had to say dans biggest fear and he said moths, and it was wrong so he got an electric shock and dan said "wHAT NO! ok right i have this thing where i hate anything underwater. like imagine you’re in the sea, what are you scared of? sharks? woop no, whales? no. but there’s a boat and beside the boat there’s a buoy and attached to that is sLIMEY CHAIN. EW NO. i’ve got submechanophobia. (i googled it i think that’s what he said idk) so its not moths, phil you know that!!" 

in the deep chat bit: 

-they talked about phobias. someone submitted saying she had a phobia of balloons and asked if she was weird and asked what they’re scared off. phil said "no you’re not weird. everyone has their fears. whats yours dan" and dan said "as we discussed before, things underwater, slimey things! uHH. but yeah i get that, its the anticipation of when its gonna pop and that’s stressful" and asked phil what his was and said "i’ve always had a thing where i was scared of the deep sea ever since i was a kid. also, not that its really a phobia but, horses. i don’t like them i don’t trust their intentions. like imagine waking up one day to a horse in your bedroom" lol 

- they talked about procrastination. talked about how changing your environment, like "doing a very not dan and phil thing" and going for a walk (dan squealed at the thought) could help distract your mind, getting some fresh air and then going back to your work with a different mindset. then talked about how phil has the need to reward himself when he does something and said that he always says to himself that if he finishes a certain task that he will reward himself with a marshmallow. and then said that if you reward yourself with something that it could motivate you to finishing whatever you’re putting off. dan said phil is using the example of a marshmallow but that he really does this and that he tells dan not to let him have the marshmallows until he finishes whatever he needs to do. dan then said that even if your procrastinating school work or whatever to just write the first word, or try writing a few sentences bc atleast you’ve started it and if you start writing that you could get into the mindset and keep writing until you finish. 

- they talked about making a youtube channel. someone submitted that he has started a youtube channel about reptiles and if they had any tips. and dan said "omg stephen. phil is probably already subscribed" lmao. phil praised him for starting a channel about something he is interested in and how its bad to start a channel just for the views and the subscribers. then said that instead of talking about what hes going to do, he should "just do it, show us that lizard" and dan said "yeah dont start off like "hi, so my name is [stephen], nice to meet you. ive always wanted to make videos about reptiles but i never rea-" lmao 

- phil saying bitch in his disstrack oh my god 

- the song at the end: "hey buddy can you give me some editing tips" 

- when dan was playing the piano and phil was singing and said that even though they’ve been friends for so long they’ve never fallen out and then starting listing things they could fall out over eg. phils dying houseplants, how dan never goes outside, phils vision is blurry and dans a furry. 

- for the most inaccurate prediction of interactive introverts someone submitted "2 hours of dan and phil twerking to the teletubbies theme tune" and then dan proceeded to twerk whilst singing it and saying the teletubbies names.. 

- d: "its basically two oscars tied together" p: "oh and they’re naked, look at those butts" d: "wow statues of two naked men tied together may not be the best thing to have when its meant to represent us"

there were some really soft things they said at the start and the end, and how we were there bc were happy(?) (i dont remember the exact context or quote but it was something like that, all i mind is that it was v sweet) and idk i just love them omg it was the best night!! 

[anduinwrynngaysex]

sry to be up in ur inbox but i gotta ask now. DID amnesia means blackouts or just like, not remembering things from the distant past that shouldve been important? I autopilot and then dont remember exactly what happened but its more like "didnt care to remember" than "couldnt remember" lmao. representation so ass i have literally no clue. i get weird feelings of impersonating myself, i get episodes of thinking other peoples thoughts, but i dont fully like. lose memories when that happens lmao. i know what the apparitions do when they front (RARELY) but it's just not my business ckck

Yeah um

Thing about DID/OSDD is that it's stupid and makes no sense. For some people it is a complete and total blackout and you cannot remember, other times it just feels like... You know when u can't remember what you had for lunch yesterday? Cause it's just not that important. Sometimes major moments of my life feel that way. Even just recently graduation; it came and went and everyone around me treated it like this huge milestone but even though it's only been a few months trying to remember what school was like feels like trying to remember what colour bra I wore three days ago.

And then for blackout shit I straight up cannot remember things pre 2017. Because technically I "didn't exist" before that time. Sometimes I can get bits and pieces but it's staticky. Its all hazy and in third person a lot of the time, like I'm looking at myself living and not remembering being alive.

Idk. Its complicated and a lot of symptoms overlap heavily with PTSD or BPD or schizophrenia or bipolar and everything under the sun. Basically brains are fucked, don't get one it's overrated. Trying to get diagnosed is hell on earth and I'm technically not officially diagnosed even though I've been outwardly showing these symptoms Since I Was Twelve, and tbh getting a diagnoses might make things worse because then you don't get hired and people treat you like James McAvoy in split so. Lol

Its not perfect but Mr Robot is my go to show for people looking for rep. Its a very dark and triggering show at many points but it's worth it. Its fantastically made and actually tries to look into how someone with DID works while also focusing heavily on the action thriller plot. Some symptoms get exaggerated for dramatic effect and a lot of the time it's shown through visual metaphor, but it's extremely accurate to me and my life. Check it out pls 🙏

[elmaxlys]

i used to like the mortal instruments books (back when there were only 3 lol it’s been a goddamn while). then i watched the movie. then i watched a few episodes of the shadowhunters series because my friends with which i read these books and watched that movie told me it was nice too. but, see, when watching the series, all i want is to rewatch the movie (so i did lmao). curious to see if when/if i reread the 1st book i’m made to want to watch the movie as well or if it’ll make me want to stick to the book like so it so often happens.

see my problem with the shadowhunters series is that I’ve only watched 2 episodes, right. and in all that time, the movie told so much more things and so much better. and my main thoughts during the time i was watching was “i wish i were watching the movie instead”.

my other problem is that the shadowhunters characters are hm. idk. they don’t feel alive? they don’t feel like persons, unlike the movie imo. i’m sorry to say but so far they feel a tad like marvel characters (fake af. too.. idk. i want to say caricatural but i don’t think that’s the word i’m looking for. whatever.)

also jocelyn fighting with angelic weapons and stuff was nice but it was so much more cathartic to see her fight with. you know. what’s lying around in her house and beating that guy with her fridge door. now as i said i only read 3 of the books and pretty long ago so idk maybe the series’ more accurate on that part, but the movie is so much more entertaining to watch.

so far the only parts of the series i actually like and look forward to are luke, his demon investigation and magnus. because magnus seems radically different in one and in the other it’s actually pretty bonkers so i really want to see how he turns out lmao (like i know some stuff, another friend of mine back in the day showed me the wedding scene but that’s about all i know lol)

also now that i’ve just rewatched the movie, it’s clearer to me what felt wrong when i watched the series on top of the fakeass characters and pace not to my taste like. they didn’t put things in the right order? clary finds out about valentine being her father way too soon and with the silent brothers? they have no clue to go to magnus, then? and also the thing about dorothea/y (? i’m unclear how that name is written) being replaced by a demon right off the bat when clary returns home. like the part where she’s closer to the fray family than she is in the movie is actually nice but it disturbs me the most lmao

so yeah idk my conclusion is that if i watch the movie and it makes me want to read the book, it’s a bad adaptation. if i read the book and it makes me want to watch its adaptation then it’s probably not a very good book and/or a very good movie in itself. if i watch the series and it makes me want to watch the movie, the movie is amazing and/or the book sucks. i have practically no memory of the books apart from a few select scenes.

anyway it’s fucking 3am so i have no idea if any of this is coherent but yeah.

PS: the movie is instantly better than the series solely because jace’s hair

PPS: all these stranger things vecna or whatever his name gifsets i’ve seen around sure did help me want to rewatch the movie lmao