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bumblebirds-menagerie · 1 year

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The Books I Read Last Year

and what i thought of them (not in chronological order because i forgot, quite long)

Lord of the Flies by William Golding (1954) --- I got this from a street library not really thinking I’d love it but I WAS WRONG because for quite a bit of this year it was my favourite book. I found it quite easy to read so I went through it pretty quickly, and I enjoyed seeing how the characters changed throughout.

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (1991) --- I really enjoyed this book but I’m hesitant to recommend it because of how many potentially triggering things there are in it. There’s a lot of violence and sickening stuff in it that I don’t want to list, but be aware that’s it’s pretty heavy content. Aside from that, AP is one of my favourite kinds of books: bad people in first person. When it’s being narrated by the ‘villain’ it’s just so interesting. And I loved the narration; it was so matter-of-fact even when he ate a jellyfish. Watch out for long lists of designer brands and chapters devoted to music.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (1818) --- I feel like almost everyone has at least heard of this book, and for good reason: it was fantastic. I would encourage everyone to read it because the writing is beautiful. And you can see the situation from both Frankenstein’s and the monster’s point of view, so you wonder what you would do if you were Frankenstein.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (1955) --- You know that orangey light you get at 4 pm in summer? That’s how Lolita felt to me (idk why). Anyway, it was a really creepy book due to its being from the perspective of a pedophile and there were parts where the narrator was saying stuff you’d find in a romance book, but it was about a child and it was so yuck to read. Overall, not bad but I’m not in a hurry to read it again.

Dracula by Bram Stoker (1897) --- Dracula was written very differently from how I expected. I thought it would be in third (or maybe first) person, take place all in Transylvania, and only really have Harker and Dracula in it. But instead, it was written as diary entries and newspaper clippings from lots of different characters, and took place in a number of locations, which I actually really liked. And I loved the ‘vamipre hunting gang’ dynamic between the characters, it made the story really enjoyable. Also, Mina Harker is one of my favourite characters in literature, what a queen.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (2005) --- I read this for school and I wasn’t expecting to like it that much considering I’m not a huge fan of historical fiction, but I was pleasantly surprised. I got into it outside of class and I read it when I could have read other books in my spare time. Death’s narration was great and the story was quite funny at times, but do be warned it’s a sad book.

Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf (1928) --- One of my two favourite books ever! I think everyone should read Orlando at least once, I keep reccommending it anyone who hasn’t read it yet. The descriptions of everything from emotions to scenery are so beautiful I wanted to paint them (especially the oak tree and the great frost). Woolf explores a lot of topics in Orlando, most importantly gender, and I liked how she put important ideas in without making the book harsh and grating to read. It just felt comforting to open it up at school and enjoy it with lunch <3

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert (1856) --- M.B. is a bit different from some of my other reads. It’s about the titular character being unsatisfied with her life and seeking ways to indulge in what she would like. For example, if you are unhappy in your marriage, M.B’s solution would be to have an affair with a rich man you met at your husbands medical practice! I have to say I didn’t enjoy it as much as some of the others, but I think it’s just not my favourite kind of book.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne (1864) --- When I was younger I read a simplified version from Great Illustrated Classics so I was really interested to see if there were any differences. I read it in 3 days which, for a 300 page book, is really quick for me. It was great to read a book I used to love in its proper form, and it’s a book I think everyone should read.

The Shiralee by D’Arcy Niland (1955) --- An Australian book! After reading lots of European books it was refreshing to read one set in places I’m familiar with. ‘Shiralee’ means a burden, and for the main character (a bushman called Macauley) his daughter Buster is his shiralee as he travels around New South Wales. The story is funny at times, sad at times, and overall heartwarming, and I’d reccommend it for anyone wanting something a bit different and so on (please someone get the reference).

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (1937) --- Pretty sure lots of people have read it for school. I didn’t hate it but I also didn’t love it; I’m not such a huge fan of these old American stories. The worst part was 100% when they killed the dog.

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (1962) --- My other favourite book ever! I can’t really put a finger on why I liked it so much - maybe the slang-riddled writing, maybe the ‘bad people in first person’ thing, maybe the questions it asked - but this story gripped me from start to finish. I did enjoy the challenge of deciphering the nadsat slang (with the help of sparknotes), and I found it made the writing very personal, as if I was seeing into the mind of Alex. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone looking for a book to make them think, but be aware that it contains violence and rape.

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty (1971) --- I really hoped it wouldn’t be too scary and thankfully it wasn’t. Obviously it is a horror novel but it wasn’t the kind of horror that keeps you up paranoid at night (at least not for me). And for a good bit of the book the focus is not directly on the possession of Regan but on the priest and excorcist, Karras, which was something I wasn’t expecting. The actual exorcism came quite late, which wasn’t a bad thing. Also I hadn’t heard of Kinderman before reading it and god was I annoyed every time he appeared on the page.

Highway to Nowhere by Richard Shears (1996) --- The only non fiction book I read in my spare time. It’s a true crime book about a series of murders that occurred on the east coast of Australia during the late 80s and early 90s called the backpacker murders. I hadn’t considered backpacking before but after reading this I can say with certainty that I will never do it. It was really interesting to learn about the police’s process in gathering evidence and how court proceedings work, which was something I enjoyed about this book. Piece of advice: if your copy has picture pages, don’t look at them until you’ve finished the book because they reveal who the killer is before the text gets there (thankfully I already knew who it was as most people have at least heard of this case in Aus)

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka (1915) --- It was a short book, but it delivered its messgae effectively in that space, which was good. You know that ‘would you still love me if I was a worm’ thing? The Metamorphosis is kind of like that: ‘would you still love me if I was a giant bug with the mind of a human?’

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925) --- If you like the roaring 20s and books about rich people having affairs, then you will like TGG. However, I don’t like either of these things, so I really did not like it and only read it for school. I just found every character annoying and most of the book was quite boring.

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons (1932) --- Ending with a good one! I was mainly inspired to pick up Cold Comfort Farm because of the illustration of the cover, featuring a summary of the residents of Cold Comfort. It’s a book that mocks ‘farm life’ novels, but if, like me, you have not read any before, it is still a very funny book. Something I loved about it was that I never went ‘ugh’ when a character appeared (except Mybug) because even though a lot of them were miserable people in the beginning, they were fun to read about. If I had to pick a favourite character I would probably say Adam or Elfine.

#books & libraries #book review #book recommendations #book recs #what i read #favourite books #a clockwork orange #orlando

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devious-little-milkmaiden · 3 years

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Horror/Psychological Thriller movies to get stressed out over while drinking your hot beverage of choice, in your pajamas, eyeing the closest door to make sure it doesn't creak open.

"Oh fuck I actually have to watch all of these." -Me

Crimson Peak

Two words: Jessica Chastain. What, did you think I was going to say Tom Hiddleston? Oh shit, you're right. Okay FOUR words. This movie features some truly gorgeous visuals, beautiful (historically accurate!!!) costumes, an incredibly macabre plot, and a wonderfully talented cast. Take a shot every time I use an adjective. Of water, of course.

Hush

A Netflix gem. Will make you eye that door warily.

Shutter Island

Leonardo DiCaprio is extremely confused until he's not, and in turn, I am confused. Still a good movie and psychological thriller.

I am the pretty thing that lives in the house

More drama than horror, but still good nonetheless. You should watch it purely because I had to type all of that out.

The Talented Mr. Ripley

One of my all-time favorite movies in general. Not so much a horror movie as it is Call Me By Your Name but with murder and more of a dark academic aesthetic, but still a very fun watch. (More of a psychological thriller I suppose.)

Nightcrawler

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Slimy rat bastard man >:(. This movie was somewhat stressful to watch but it gives an interesting look into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles.

Freaky

For fans of Supernatural, it has Kathryn Newton. For fans of Bette Midler, she starred in Hocus Pocus with Sarah Jessica Parker, who starred in Sex and The City with Vince Vaughn, so there you go. You're welcome. Give me money. This movie is like Freaky Friday except they substituted the fact that it is Friday for the fact that there is a serial killer in a teenage girl's body. Yikes, I could've phrased that better.

Fargo

Based off of a true story, this is the perfect movie for true crime buffs and just Minnesota in general. Marge Gunderson is a sweet pregnant police officer who loves her husband dearly, and who (somewhat) singlehandedly solves a kidnapping and murder case. It's the most comforting thriller movie I've ever seen. Just... skip the woodchipper scene if you want to keep it that way.

Sweeney Todd

A Tim Burton classic, it stars _____ _____ and Helena Bonham Carter. I don't even need to put his name there, you already know who it is based purely off of the fact that it's a Tim Burton movie. This movie is crazy and macabre and has a sweet couple o' tunes.

Sleepy Hollow

Another Tim Burton classic. It also stars _____ _____. Oh my god I just realized that a lot of people who were in Harry Potter are in Tim Burton's movies. Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Richard Griffiths, and of course, _____ _____. This movie is another one of my all-time favorites. I would live in this movie if I could, I love the scenery so much.

Scream

One of the most iconic horror movies of all time, and for good reason. I laughed out loud at some of the jokes. This movie was a lot of fun to watch. When I was at work today all I could think about was that scene in the movie store. Oh Randy...

Scream 2

Courteney Cox's hair is its own character. Oh Randy...

Frankenstein

A classic Tinseltown Terrifier. A bit slow, but good if you just wanna chill out and accidentally fall asleep on the couch.

Dracula

Another Tinseltown Terrifier. I think Bauhaus said it best with their unnecessarily 9-minute song titled Bela Lugosi's Dead. Bela Lugosi is, in fact, dead. I think.

American Psycho

Learning that Christian Bale is a method actor is utterly terrifying considering just how scary his character is in this movie.

The Birds

Scary 60's Alfred Hitchcock. As someone who is somewhat terrified of birds, I give this movie a thumbs up because I'm scared of what will happen otherwise.

Dark Shadows

Another Tim Burton film starring _____ _____ and HBC. I'm too much of a douche to write out Helena Bonham Carter. It's funny and Chloe Grace Moretz is there too.

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latin-dr-robotnik · 3 years

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You mentioned western localizations messing with Amy. Can you elaborate if you don't mind?

Of course!

I think the first thing to keep in mind throughout all of this is that I was referring to the old notion of “Amy is a psycho girl chasing after someone who isn’t remotely interested in her”. This is the big impression Sonic games (and I guess to some extent Archie Sonic, but I don’t want to get in there) left on fans during the 2000′s, and it comes mostly due to two main reasons:

The differences in western culture versus japanese culture (how we see relationships in general, the actual tropes surrounding Amy, etc.)

How the actual localization process was handled for each game, like the way Amy acts toward Sonic and other characters, how the games play said acts (cute vs annoying) and the way Sonic reacts to her presence.

It’s no secret that localization works during that era were spotty at best (that’s why you hear Ryan’s Sonic yelling “teriaaaa!” in SA2, or the general weirdness surrounding SA1), and while I personally don’t blame the people that worked on localizing the games (after all, the overall quality of videogame storytelling was pretty shaky back in the early 2000′s), I can’t ignore just how damaging those works ended up being for the canon. For example, cutegirlmayra talked about the differences between japanese and western Sonic for years now, take this quote from her post, a quote that I believe nails this whole thing on the head:

America treats Sonamy much like they do their franchise, a meme or joke to be poked fun of. Whereas, with a much more refined atmosphere, Japan treats Sonamy as an endearing and lovely couple. Though both resign to say they can’t really see Sonic ever ‘settling down’ or really being focused on romance. And,… that makes since to me. Knowing who Sonic is. But even that doesn’t mean he can’t have a crush XD (The heart wants what the heart wants, lol!)

More recently, stuff like “Unfortunately, I’m not inconvenient for my girlfriend” came to light, and that’s one of many examples where japanese Sonic was way ahead of its western self. This particular quote is from Sonic Battle and in the english version you don’t get anything remotely similar to that, instead Amy is left to look like she’s a crazy stalker, or that Sonic doesn’t accept her advances to a degree (that’s one major problem, how western Sonic tends to feel like he’s actually rejecting Amy while she keeps on trying.) It’s not coincidence that Sonic Battle is regarded as one of the worst portrayals of Amy in a Sonic game.

If you start digging on what the creators actually intended for Amy, you'll find lots of good intentions toward her and the framing of her dynamic with Sonic (which isn’t the only aspect of Amy, mind you, but my claims about western localization originally came from a SonAmy post so I naturally focused on that, sorry haha.)

For example, last year I looked into how Sonic Unleashed handled SonAmy, and while my initial research was pretty sweet (the english version of Unleashed!Amy is really good if you spend time talking to her), the real kicker came as soon as we (me and cutegirlmayra) started looking into interviews with ex-Sonic Team writer Shiro Maekawa and cross-referencing information regarding the actual writers that were involved during that 2000′s era. The result? There was an entire council at SEGA of Japan dedicated to approve the way Sonic characters were presented in all official media, and they approved all of the key SonAmy moments back then, even more that western audiences didn’t get to see (more on that below.) Most if not all the japanese Sonic writers involved in that era (Maekawa was both a writer and part of said council) left around the end of the decade, after Sonic Unleashed (2008) and Sonic and the Black Knight (2009), and ever since that most of the problems shifted from “this is how SEGA of America is localizing Sonic games” to “this is the very poor state of Sonic writing in general”, so, dead end for now.

Then you have situations like with Sonic X, a show handled by Sonic Team and the official Sonic writers of that era working in some of the most iconic episodes... just to see their work censored by 4kids in America and the subsequent dubs that used that version as a basis (from what I’ve heard not all dubs are censored, though.) That’s why you’ll see fans imploring you to watch Sonic X in japanese instead of the english dub, since the series was a lot more involved with the pairing and the general simbolism of some of its touching moments (they used actual love songs for them, for crying out loud), which led to some funny facts, like how the Latin American Spanish and the French dub both ignored the mandate about muting Sonic’s words to Amy in Episode 52, leading to moments like Sonic promising Amy he won’t leave her again (LatAm) or just straight up telling he loves her (the french were on fire with that one.) Sonic X was the one true vision of Sonic Team, and the way it was butchered for western audiences is still baffling to this day.

So, what’s the deal with Amy then? In theory she’s a cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl with a very strong sense of justice, super-determined to help anyone in need (even enemies like Metal Sonic) and, depending on the situation, pretty impulsive. She’s particularly loyal to her friends, and she acts like the emotional support of the group. You’ll see her filling that role regardless of how good or bad the localization is (SA2 Amy helped Shadow realize his true purpose, Heroes Amy is the beating heart of her whole team, Unleashed Amy is the only one who doesn’t lose hope on Sonic when Perfect Dark Gaia rises); yet the ways by which these traits were shown in the games varied a lot, and that’s how we reached a point where a good chunk of the fandom thinks Amy is a stalker. Japan portrayed her acts as cute, as very respectable traits of a great female character; the west portrayed her mostly as a nuisance the gang had to carry around, even to the point of misinterpreting some of her quotes that aren’t actually bad (for example: “If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!“ in Sonic ‘06.) And while this is no longer the case, nowadays there’s a whole different discussion surrounding making Amy better by making her “more mature” (which is also another topic raised here in the west, like, this whole discussion never ends! haha)

I feel like I got lost and came back several times while writing this reply. At the end of the day, it’s a long topic to tackle and I think the best I can do right now is forward you some more information. My friend beev did some great work translating my own Spanish articles tackling the Japan vs Western differences (it’s pretty much most of this reply.) And then there’s @skull001, he’s very vocal about the ways Amy’s character was messed with (including stuff like Amy being missing from the back of Advance 1′s box, the Sonic X english dub or the fact SEGA is still reluctant to count her as part of Team Sonic), and if there’s someone I’d listen when it comes to knowing pretty much everything about Amy, it’s gotta be him... and cutegirlmayra, of course. I hope this helped, though!

#ask latin dr robotnik #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #sonamy #sega #hannahcbrown #i'm sorry this took way too long to write haha

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whitehotharlots · 3 years

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Previewing the 2024 Democrat Primary

Within a couple weeks of his being sworn in, just about every person on earth will wish Joe Biden was no longer president. Sure, the few surviving John B. Anderson voters will be thrilled to see 4 years of crushing austerity and half-assed attempts at Keynesian stimulus. But most people will begin dreaming about a brighter future.

Good news! The 2024 Democratic primary field is going to contain dozens of options. Bad news! They are all going to be disgusting piles of shit.

The “top tier”

While it’s too early to do any handicapping, these are the candidates the media will treat as having the most realistic chances of securing the nomination.

Kamala Harris

Kamala did not win a single primary delegate in 2020. This is because she dropped out before the first primary, and that was because no one likes her. She has no base beyond a few thousand of twitter’s most violent psychos. Her disingenuousness approaches John Edwards levels: any halfway incredulous person can see immediately beyond her bullshit. She has no principles whatsoever, and while that may be par for the course for Democrats, she lacks even the basic politician’s ability to intuit anything that might, hypothetically, constitute a principle.

Even better: she is an awful public speaker. She sounds like how a talking dog would speak if he were just caught stealing people food off the kitchen table. She communicates in weird grunts and faux sassy squeaks, which is how she imagines real black women sound like, but something about her is unable to sell the bit. She begins her sentences in halfhearted AAVE, stops and panics halfway through as she realizes that maybe this sounds fake and offensive, and then reminds herself oh wait, no, this is okay since I’m black. This doesn’t happen once or twice per speech. This is how every single sentence sounds.

Kamala is like Nancy Pelosi in that no sketch show will ever impersonate her correctly, because anything that came close to authenticity would be considered far too cruel. This might benefit her in the primaries, as she exists in the minds of Democrats as someone and something she absolutely is not in reality. Nominating her would be like allowing your child’s imaginary friend to attempt to drive you to the store.

Andrew Cuomo

Easily one of the 50 worst people alive, Cuomo has a solid chance because Democrats, same as Republicans, are unable to differentiate between electability and self-serving ruthlessness. Cuomo used the deadliest public health crisis in American history as a pretext for cutting Medicaid and firing 5,000 MTA workers, and his approval rating increased. New York Dems are little piggies who love eating shit. If we assume that the political media will continue their habit of refusing to discuss the legislative history of right wing Democrats, Cuomo might well cruise to the nomination and then lose to literally any human being the GOP nominates by an historic margin.

Joe Biden

The party loves him because he is a right wing racist. “Progressives” tolerate him because black primary voters over 40 supported him, and their opinion is supposedly a magic window into god’s truth. Everyone else can tell he is manifestly senile. I don’t put it above the DNC to pick a candidate who is in horrible health, dying, or even dead--whatever the financial sector wants, they’ll get. But I would be shocked if his approval rating is above 39% by mid-2023, and by that point deep fake technology will be advanced enough they’ll put out a very lifelike video in which the Max Headroom version of Joe explains he’s proud of his accomplishments--that budget’s almost balanced already--but, man, I gotta abd--I gotta abdica--, uhh, I gotta, I, uhh, I gotta move down, man.

Wild Cards

These candidates would have all have a chance if they ran, but they could all much more easily retire to Little Saint James off of kickbacks they’ve gotten from Citibank and I.G. Farben.

Rahm Emanuel

Rahm is going to receive some hugely influential post in the Biden administration. Let’s say he becomes Secretary of Education. His signature achievement will be replacing all elementary school teachers with Amazon’s Alexa, which saved the taxpayers so much money we were able to quadruple the number of armed police officers we put into high schools. This will give him several thousand positive profiles on network news programs and the near-universal support of the Silicon Valley vampires who will own 99% of the country by the time Biden’s term ends. They will use their fancy mind control devices to convince geriatic primary voters that Rahm’s the one who will bring Decency back to the white house. His candidacy will be the paragon of wokeness, as expressing concern toward the fact that he covered up the police murder of a black guy will get you called a racist.

Rahm has a bonus in that Jewish men are now Schrodeniger’s PoC. When they are decent human beings, they are basic, cis white men who are stealing attention from disabled trans candidates of color. When they love austerity and apartheid, they become the most vulnerable people of color on earth and criticizing them in any way is genocide. No one will be able to mention a single thing Rahm has ever done or said without opening themselves to accusations of antisemitism, and that gives him a strong edge against the rest of the field. The good news is that an Emmanuel candidacy would result in over 50% of black voters choosing the GOP candidate--which, I guess that’s not really good but it would certainly be funny.

Gavin Newsom

Newsom is every bit as feckless as Cuomo, but he doesn’t put off the same “bad guy in an early Steven Segal movie” vibes. He will mention climate change 50 times per speech and no one will bother to mention how he keeps signing fracking contracts even though his state is now on fire 11 months of the year. If anything, this will be spun into an argument about how he’s actually the candidate best suited to handle all the water refugees gathering on the southern border. Look for his plan to curb emissions by 10% by the year 2150 to get high marks from Sierra Club nerds. He’s also a celebate librarian’s idea of what constitutes a handsome man, so he’ll have some support from the type of women who claim to hate all men.

Larry Summers

I mean, why not? Larry, like most members of the Obama administration, has politics that are eerily similar to those of Jordan Peterson. In normal circumstances, this makes a person a dangerous fascist who should not be platformed. But if that person has a D next to their name this makes them a realistic pragmatist who has what it takes to bring suburban bankers into our tent. If current trends in Woke Phrenology continue apace, Larry’s belief that women are inherently bad at STEM will be liberal orthodoxy by 2023, and his dedication to the Laffer Curve could see him rake in massive donations. Seriously, I’m not kidding: cultural liberalism is now fully dedicated to identity essentialism and balanced budgets. Larry is their ideal candidate. If he were black and/or a woman, I’d put him in the very top tier.

Jay Inslee

Unlike Newsom, Inslee’s attempt to crown himself the King of Global Warming won’t be immediately derailed, since his state is only on fire because of protestors. This, however, poses a different problem. He’s going to be a good test case for the Democrat’s uneasy peace with the ever increasing share of the electorate who become catatonic upon hearing a pronoun. On the one hand, you need to take their votes for granted. On the other hand, they’re not like black people or regular gays: most voters actively, consciously despise wokies, and associating yourself with them will ruin a campaign even in deep blue areas. There’s still gonna be riots in a year. Biden’s gonna announce the sale of all our nation’s potable water to the good folks at Nestle and some trans freak named Sasha-Malia DeBalzac is going to use that as an opportunity to sell their new pamphlet about how it’s fascist to not burn down small businesses. No matter what Inslee does in response, it’ll end his career.

AOC

I’m not one of those “AOC is a secret conservative” weirdos, but I am aware enough of basic reality to know she has zero chance of coming close to the nomination. The right and the center both regard her as a literal demon. The party is already blaming her for the fact that a handful of faceless Reagan acolytes failed to flip their suburban districts even though they ran on sensible pragmatic proposals like euthanizing the homeless. The recriminations will only get more unhinged when the Dems eat shit in the 2022 midterms. She will be a Russian, she will be white male, she will be a communist, she will be a homophobe: any insult or conspiracy theory you can name, MSNBC will spend hours discussing. Her house seat challenger will receive a record amount of support from the DNC in 2024 and it’ll be all she can do to remain in congress.

Larry Hogan

Don’t be dissuaded by the fact that he’s a Republican. Larry is the DNC’s ideal candidate: a physically repulsive conservative who owes his entire career to appealing to the most spiteful desires of suburban white people. He’s an open racist in a material sense--if you’re old-school enough to think racism is a matter of beliefs and actions, rather than the presence of cultural signifiers--but his is the beloved “never Trump” style of racism that Dems covet. He’s also a Proven Leader who thinks the role of government should be to finance the construction of investment property and give police the resources they need to run successful drug trafficking operations. Few people embody the Democrat worldview more than Larry.

The Losers Bracket

These people will have at least a small chance due solely to the fact that the Democrats love losing. They have lost in the past, and in the Democrat Mind that makes them especially qualified.

Joe Kennedy

The man looks like a mushroom-human hybrid from a JRPG. Trump proved that physical hideousness need not doom a presidential bid, but a candidate still needs some kind of charm or oratorical abilities or, god forbid, a decent platform. Joe aggressively lacks all of these things. A vanity campaign would be a good way to raise money and perhaps secure an MSNBC gig, so Joe might still run.

Mayor Pete

I am 100% convinced that Pete’s 2020 run was a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. I am also 100% aware that Democrats are dumb enough to enthusiastically support a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. If we have some sort of military or terror disaster between now and 2023 the Dems are sure to want a TROOP, and wait wait wait you’re telling me this one is a gay troop? Holy hell there’s no way that could lose!

Stacy Abrams

Never underestimate the power of white guilt. She lost the gubernatorial race to Gomer Pyle’s grandson, and her spiritual guidance of the Dems saw the party lose black voters in Georgia in 2020. Nonetheless, she is regarded as a magic font of fierceness within the DNC. She might stand a chance if she can establish herself as the most conservative non-white candidate in the field, but there’s going to be stiff competition for that honor.

Elizabeth Warren

Liz is probably angry that the party so shamelessly sold her out even after she was a good little girl and sabatoged Bernie’s campaign for them--yet another example of high ranking US government officials reneging on their promises to the Native American community. Smdh. The fact that this woman hasn’t been bankrupted a dozen times over by various Wallet Inspectors genuinely astounds me. So Liz is probably going to run again, and her campaign will be even sadder the second time around.

It might surprise you to hear this if you don’t work at a college or NGO, but Liz diehards actually do exist. She’ll get even less support this time because there will be no viable leftist in the field for her to spoil, but she’ll still hang in long enough to make sure the very worst possible candidate beats out the second worst possible candidate. Maybe she’ll fabricate a rape accusation against Sherrod Brown. Maybe she’ll spend her entire allotted debate time doing a land acknowledgment. With Liz, anything is possible--so long as it ends in failure.

Amy Klobuchar

Amy was the most bloodthirsty of the 2020 also rans. She will double down on the unpopular failures of the Biden administration, explaining that if you weren’t such a selfish idiot you’d love the higher social security retirement age and oh my god are so such a moron you think you shouldn’t go bankrupt to get a COVID vaccine? There’s a non-unsubstantial segment of the Democratic base that’s self-hating enough to find this appealing, but it won’t be enough to make her viable.

Martha Coakley

She lost Ted Kennedy’s senate seat to a retarded man who was pretending to be even more retarded than he actually was. Then she lost a gubernatorial race to a guy who openly promised Massachusetts voters that he would punish them for electing him. Her record of failure is unparalleled, making her perhaps the ideal Democrat standard bearer for the twenty twenties.

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skinks · 4 years

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hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

#long post #films #this is like bill hader being asked to pick his fave comedies and he gives a 4 page list #he has such good taste though ahhahbfhfhfhh lemme talk with him nonstop about movies while i ride him. thank you

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utopiastrology · 4 years

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How to spot a Sagittarius Sun

-They are very stylish. Whether that style is over the top or actually very preppy and elegant, or even falsely negligent, their outfit is planned from head to toe

-They do have an “upward motion” vision of life. They don’t contemplate failure for ages, or drown themselves in nostalgia. Eyes on the prize, even if the going gets tough. It’s not blind starry eyes optimism, but a sort of innate self belief that exists even in the most insecure among them, which allows them to bounce back remarkably

-I don’t find them systematically directionless per se, it’s more of a need to frequently update their goals; if they over think it then sure that’s when they get lost a bit

-Once they’ve picked a target they hit it like nobody’s business, they do go for it and are prepared to take risks. More so than other signs - and more so than other sagittarius placements except Jupiter maybe- they have the potential for extremely quick success. pretty cool to see, actually

-in a totally not insulting way, they remind of the American Psycho quote : “there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction (...)” ; not because they do feel empty, but in the sense that they have a broad yet fairly detailed vision for their life and who they’re trying to become and appear as, which could be fashioned after a famous figure, works of fictions or a teacher, most likely a kaleidoscope of all 3.

-> in that way, although they appear spontaneous, they’re kind of actually not.

-banter is life, they have a humorous outlook on life; it’s not that they don’t understand gravitas, they just understand that *it’s not that serious* and almost never is

-which doesn’t prevent them from speaking up and advocating; they usually have *one* topic that they really care about more than the rest and stems from or was solidified by personal experience, which motivates them to speak on it

-It’s not even that they’re always the funniest person around (though being funny is a big potential identity building block and ego component for them) but they’re almost always pleasant to talk to just because they’ll easily bounce off of you if you provide the material. So they may not necessarily initiate conversation but they’ll keep it going. They like people to come to them in that way, unlike Geminis who’ll be the connecting agent that starts conversations

-They make great friends and are usually warm (watch out of the ascendant though) but they dislike the mushy part of companionship. Sentimentality is weird to them, and they might have a knee jerk derisive reaction to it

-Same with excessive mood swings. Their mood will fluctuate more so according to the advancement of their goals, but overly weepy people will leave them indifferent, perhaps pitiful and a bit annoyed. They really appreciate emotional stability, or if you’re going to be volatile you should be on the more bubbly, chatty side

-They are perhaps the most independent sign, while also being a social creature (making them hella compatible with Aquarius imo). They’ll just thrive with a wide group of acquaintances and friends, as long as they get their own office / apartment / prolonged periods of alone time to travel, work out, read, find new music - maybe with the companionship of one person who’s on the same speed as them

-Friendship can be experienced on the same level as a romantic relationship; they somewhat value S/Os on the same plane as friends, not above; friends can be lifelong ‘partners’; not the type to cut off their friends after shacking up. Loyal friends

-They can be great listeners and give really relevant advice. If they have the answers, they looove mentoring and bestowing their knowledge onto others, even in a ‘covert’ way in casual conversation. They might deny it but being the capable, knowledgeable one is total ego fodder

-Somewhat natural competitive edge, failing and having that experienced witnessed by someone else is sure to completely irritate them, rather than depress and discourage them

-A big life lesson has to do with what’s in the journey, and what’s in the destination. Places, goals, even people can be projects to acquire and complete before they move on, which not only could be destructive but also leave them a bit disgruntled and unfulfilled as they age, causing increasingly eccentric, perhaps antagonizing behavior - so as to create novelty in their life instead of fully loving and enjoying what they have

-Even if they have a petite, naturally thin stature they could be surprisingly strict about their diet, or talk about food a little too much, or indulge in it too much. There’s a slightly strange, stop and start relationship to food. They’re extra concerned about gaining weight ; At the same time, they not so secretly love to eat and have that one dish or sweets that they simply can’t get enough of and can lose their control over

-They really value fairness and equity - however it’s true that they can be too harsh and insensitive. As long as they cultivate humility and empathy in their quest for the realization of their ambitions and self betterment, they will be able to mitigate this trait and enjoy the greatest success possible - a Jupiterian, triumphant, total sort of success in every area of their life

#this is my take #you guys are great #sagittarius #sagittarius sun #sun in sagittarius #sagittarius season #text #mine #description #sun sign #jupiter

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thugsclub · 3 years

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Thugs Club - chapter 2

Here goes!

"So what's the problem, Cailleach?"

She always felt a little frisson of excitement when somebody used the whole name AND could pronounce it correctly. Most people just stuck with Callie. And Jeff looked hot today, in black jeans, large doc martens, and a black vest which showed off his shapely arms to perfection. She was glad she'd put on her favourite dress, a black one with red roses, with a low cute bodice and a nipped in waist. She'd washed her hair and the red notes in it really showed. Usually when she was in Jeff she was in jeans and a Tshirt, with a Rosie the Riveter style scarf over her hair. She thought she'd even seen him whistle under his breath as she walked through the door.

She explained the basic scenario over coffee and a muffin, while Jeff looked increasingly confused. "You have a Swiss bank account?"

"Yeah, you just need the right papers"

"But why, if there isn't even enough money to dodge tax on in there? What's the point?"

Callie thought about that "I don't really know. Just so I could say I'd got one I suppose"

"But you just said you haven't said to anyone you've got one because it's a secret"

"That's true. Anyway someone's put all this money in there."

"How much actual money?" Jeff asked "Wasn't there an account number or reference?"

"Some kind of code word. Eagle I think it was. and there's 14,380,70.00 quid in there"

He whistled "Sounds like dollars, or could that just be the ealge thing?" he whipped his phone out and typed something into Google "Yes. 20 million dollars. You could probably report it to the bank and get them to look into it. Or is it all very hush hush no questions asked? Or you could just keep the money and not having to worry about job searching ever again. Then again, if it's dirty.." he sighed "Another coffee and maybe another muffin?"

Ashleigh could have fainted with releif when she finally turned up the info she needed. Neither of them had slept that night, she'd been staring at the computer so long her eyes were going funny, and the Colonel had done nothing but pace round making tense phone calls and knocking back shots of bourbon.

"Got it. Her name is Euphemia Caillieach McCloud" she prounounced the first two names as ewfeemeea caylitch, but to her credit at least for the surname right.

"Finally! Some Scottish duchess in a castle with stags heads and tartan things everywhere trying not to be eaten alive by the taxman" Ashleigh privately thought the lack of sleep was sending him a little bit mad.

"She's in somewhere called Sussex. I don't think that's in Scotland is it?"

"Oh god, a Limey, that's worse. Did you get a phone number?"

Callie had gone to the ladies, and was just washing her hands when the call came.

"Euphemia McCloud?" asked the strident American voice.

Her heart sank "Yes, that's me"

"I'm a businessman in the States. A little financial transaction went wrong and I believe you got some money in your Swiss account?"

"Erm... yes. Was it yours? I'll transfer it back"

At that point, Callie thought she heard a female voice saying "Hey, Colonel" in the background. And he did sound more like a military man than a businessman, at least in her head. Could have been too much telly though.

"It was, and you will put it back into the account number I give you, and you will never mention it to anybody ever. I know where you live. I can get you fired from your job if I want to-"

"I don't have a job." Callie explained. "Look, why are you threatening me? I already said I'd give you it back!"

"That's not the point and not your business! Just do it and don't say anything to anyone ever! I mean it!" the call ended and the agressive sound of a text message arriving popped up, appearing to be a load of numbers. She went back and joined Jeff.

He looked instantly concerned "Is everything okay?"

"Erm, not really. This is getting weirder and weirder. I've just been threatened by some kind of psycho Vietnam Colonel" she told him about the phone call. Jeff was silent for a while, thinking.

"You know, if I was you I'd hold fire on putting that money back"

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"I can't stand bullies. He sounds like a bully whose losing it because he knows he's being caught doing something he shouldn't be. He's probably going against his own government. He can't actually do anything to you because he'd be caught red handed in whatever he's doing. Let him sweat for a bit"

"But he said he knew where I live!"

"Look, Caillieach, why don't you pick up some essentials and come back to Riverhall for a bit? there's no shortage of spare rooms. I can even hang on to your phone for a bit and have a word with Colonel Arse if he rings back. And you can get loads of work done on your apprenticeship. What do you think?"

"Please!" Callie sais

#jeff beck fanfic #classic rock fanfic

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semi-imaginary-place · 3 years

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gamers have no rights

SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION

Oh and Minato actually using crude (like he always speaks very politely) speech for the last big shot was a good moment. i rather like minato and you can see how dear kaburagi is to him. Minato gets Kaburagi put on mod duty instead of being destroyed or sentenced to life at the waste facility. Minato then stops Kaburagi from getting destroyed a second time and even keeps his avatar which would have gotten him killed. and he does all this without Kaburagi asking him, without Kaburagi ever knowing. Minato in the finale then risks annihilation to see kaburagi in the finale and is willing to gamble his life by staying in deca-dence to execute the plan. if he hadn’t helped, kaburagi would almost certainly be destroyed by the bubble wipe. Minato just wants to be near Kaburagi and be a part of his life. me in the distance: “gaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy”

when the admins threw donatello into the poop jail, did no one think to take the arm gun?

Yuzuru Tachikawa has a lot of good stuff. death parade, mob psycho 100 II, assistant director for zankyo no terror.

once a limiter is released, can you put it back on?

http://decadence-anime.com/en/ incase the website ever goes down and i have to use the wayback machine

5.5: ok so i did forget the part where they say that Solid Quake and the other mega corps manufacture the cyborgs. ah and the cyborgs are also property of Solid Quake. real last stage capitalist dystopia. and some cyborgs’ job is to play the mmo. Like the company mandates download of the game upon cyborg activation. yeah if solid quake has the resources to manage a population of squishy monsters and have absolute control of all matter in the bubble they totally could have dealt with the air pollution on the rest of the planet. There’s also at least 4 other structures/companies on the planet. I wonder what they are up to. i was wondering about the ruins, so they were made as set pieces/background art for the post apocalyptic story.

so cyborgs did originally have their roots in biological humans. but currently and all the ones we see are assembled by Solid Quake. I wonder about the cyborg cores, they have the same green glow as oxyone. And one of the characters (minato? kaburagi?) says that cores aren’t controlled by Solid Quake, so the cyborgs have free will.

So I doubt minato ever switched departments though I guess its possible, meaning when he says he wants to fight along side kaburagi again he means this metaphorically, he wants to be able to once against work towards the same goal as kaburagi side by side. Also Minato calls Kaburagi “Kabu” no honorifics or anything and the subtitles bastardize this into just “Kaburagi”

they ended up making a game that involves throwing around a cyborg core. isn’t that a little...

Though everyone helped out a little, the finale was all about helping kaburagi where as I would have preferred something like everyone working and changing the system rather than kaburagi having a chat and the deca dence system letting him do what he wants. but I suppose that’s a hook for season 2. So seen on its own deca-dence has a good solid ending but not a spectacular one. But I am so glad it has a good ending, you don’t know how many shows have gotten my hopes up in the first couple episodes only to fizzle out and flop. I am so happy this show stuck the landing even if there was a little wobble.

I watched all of Deca-Dence in one sitting and wow do I love this show. It's just a good solid show. There's no weak point, each episode is solid, the writing is good, the animation is striking, and most importantly the show holds itself together throughout its entire run.

funny thing is. When I first saw the promo material for this anime back in spring of 2020 i went like ”ugggg not another one of these” where the remnants of humanity fight against annihilation at the hands of some monsters like shingeki no kyoujin or kabaneri of the iron fortress mostly because I’m been thinking a lot on compassion for the Other and a lack of that combined with propaganda about how the Other is a threat to the existence of the in-group forms the basis of a lot of modern facism and white supremacy groups that justify their existence against an imaginary threat use this same kind of logic framing themselves as the last bastions of humanity (whiteness) against a monstrous other (muslims, immigrants, ethnic minorities, usually people of color/not white people). Now the premises of humanity fighting against annihilation by monsters in of itself isn’t necessarily racist, but after a year where violent racism exploded against asian americans and BLM had a lot of attention, my mind can’t help but be in that space. However by the time I watched Deca-Dence on January 25, 2021 I had completely forgotten everything and anything about the show. All I remembered was some people crying about it on tumblr and twitter whose posts I skipped over once I realized they were about a show I hadn’t seen. So I went into this with a completely blank slate, I didn’t know that this was scifi, or that there was a giant fortress city, I didn’t know that Kaburagi was featured in the promos alongside Natsume, and I didn’t know we would be fighting monsters. But the first episode was just so well directed that I was excited for a second one despite the premises, and also i was still processing that last shot when i clicked the next episode button. It was the second episode that sold this show for me.

Oh I totally forgot to talk about natsume’s arm and how the show handle’s disability. Also I don’t have a prosthetic so take this with a gain of salt. Natsume occasionally feels self conscious about her prosthetic arm since people will comment on it and it adds barriers in her life, disqualifying her from joining The Power and making it more difficult to adjust the nozzle on her pack. She has added struggles in her life that others don’t, but the show never portrays her as lesser for it, its just something she has to consider and work around in her life. The line about how its not her weakness, but her power was a good line. And she literally turned it into a weapon, that’s so cool.

Corporations generate capital for the enrichment of their shareholders. But in the world of deca-dence there are no shareholders at the end of the pipeline. The machinery of the capitalist firm continues to spin, squeezing out as much cheap or free labor as possible, and acquiring assets, but for nothing and no one. Its a system made to benefit the Few, but whose beneficiaries no longer exist (or at least we never see them in the anime). The exploitation of the Tankers and cyborgs serve no purpose but to continue the existence of Solid Quake and its system.

dissonance grieving tankers at funeral to cyborgs chatting about how fun the last raid event was. bright cartoony artstyle to the dystopia of neoliberal capitalism (and the labor camp). the cheery game trailer and company intro style exposition for the apocalypse.

The reason the ending was only good instead of spectacular is because it doesn’t engage with the themes laid down in earlier episodes enough. The ending provides an emotionally fulfilling ending for its characters but only a lukewarm one for late-stage capitalism. There’s two narratives going on in Deca-Dence. The personal narrative told through Natsume and Kaburagi about learning to try again, improve yourself, make your own decisions, live on your own terms, and push your limits. Then there’s the secondary narrative about overcoming structures and systems of oppression. The anime team did a great job at the first one, but kinda meh about the second one. When we are introduced to the people of Deca-Dence we see them stratified into classes like Gear/cyborg and Tanker. However this is a false narrative perpetuated by Solid Quake to maintain its control of both groups, after all Solid Quake owns both the cyborgs and the Tankers as literal property. Ideally the Tankers and cyborgs would realize the divide between them is false and team up to tear down not only Solid Quake but the systems that allowed mega corps to exist in the first place and build more equitable and just social systems. And we do get some of this in the ending with changes in how Solid Quake is run (no more punishment of “bugs”, got rid of the gulag), but all this is shoved to the background. Essentially management and company policy changed but the fact that the corporation or its structures exists, didn’t. I can't tell if its deliberate or not though. Its common with single cour anime to leave dangling plot threads as a bid to the funding for a second season and most of them never do. So I can see it like that, but eh I still never liked this approach. Its also a limitation of the single cour instead of being produced as a 24 ep anime where they would have had lime to develop that second narrative.

#deca-dence #deca dence

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The Weekend Warrior 10/13/20: FREAKY, THE CLIMB, MANK, HILLBILLY ELEGY, AMMONITE, DREAMLAND, DOC-NYC and MUCH MORE!

It’s a pretty crazy week for new releases as I mentioned a few times over the past couple weeks, but it’s bound to happen as we get closer to the holiday movie season, which this year won’t include many movies in theaters, even though movie theaters are still open in many areas of the country… and closing in others. Sigh. Besides a few high-profile Netflix theatrical release, we also get movies starring Vince Vaughn, Margot Robbie, Kate Winslet, Saoirse Ronan, Mel Gibson and more offerings. In fact, I’ve somehow managed to write 12 (!!!!) reviews this week… yikes.

Before we get to the new movies, let’s look at a few series/festivals starting this week, including the always great documentary festival, DOC-NYC, which runs from November 11 through 19. A few of the docs I’ve already seen are (probably not surprisingly, if you know me) some of the music docs in the “Sonic Cinema” section, including Oliver Murray’s Ronnie’s, a film about legendary jazz musician and tenor sax player Ronnie Scott, whose London club Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club has been one of the central cores for British jazz fans for many decades.

Alex Winter’s Zappa is a much more satisfying portrait of the avant-garde rocker than the doc Frank Zappa: In His Own Words from a few years back, but I was even more surprised by how much I enjoyed Julien Temple’s Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan, because I’ve never really been a Pogues fan, but it’s highly entertaining as we learn about the chronically-soused frontman of the popular Irish band.

I haven’t seen Robert Yapkowitz and Richard Peete’s in My Own Time: A Portrait of Karen Dalton, a portrait of the blues and folk singer, yet, nor have I watched Marcia Jarmel and Ken Schneider’s Los Hermanos/The Brothers about two brother musicians separated from childhood after leaving their native Cuba, but I’ll try to get to both of them soon enough.

Outside of the realm of music docs is Ilinca Calugareanu’s A Cops and Robbers Story, which follows Corey Pegues from being a drug dealer and gang member to a celebrated deputy inspector within the NYPD. There’s also Nancy (The Loving Story) Buirski’s A Crime on the Bayou, the third part of the filmmaker’s trilogy about brave individuals in the Civil Rights era, this one about 19-year-old New Orleans fisherman Gary Duncan who tries to break up a fight between white and black teens at an integrated school and is arrested for assaulting a minor when merely touching a white boy’s arm.

Hao Wu’s 76 Days covers the length of Wuhan, China’s lockdown due to COVID-19, a very timely doc that will be released by MTV Documentary Films via virtual cinema on December 4. It’s one of DOC-NYC’s features on its annual Short List, which includes Boys State, Collective, The Fight, On the Record, and ten others that will vie for juried categories.

IFC Films’ Dear Santa, the new film from Dana Nachman, director of the wonderful Pick of the Litter, will follow its Heartland Film Festival debut with a run at COD-NYC before its own December 4 release. The latter is about the USPS’s “Operation Santa” program that receives hundreds of thousands of letters to Santa every year and employees thousands of volunteers to help make the wishes of these kids come true.

Basically, there’s a LOT of stuff to see at DOC-NYC, and while most of the movies haven’t been released publicly outside festivals yet, a lot of these movies will be part of the doc conversations of 2020. DOC-NYC gives the chance for people across the United States to see a lot of great docs months before anyone else, so take advantage of some of their ticket packs to save some money over the normal $12 per ticket price. The $199 price for an All Access Film Pass also isn’t a bad deal if you have enough time to watch the hundreds of DOC-NYC offerings. (Sadly, I never do, yet I’m still a little bummed to miss the 10Am press screenings at IFC Center that keeps me off the streets… or in this case, sitting on my ass at home.)

Not to be outdone by the presence of DOC-NYC, Film at Lincoln Center is kicking off its OWN seventh annual “Art of the Real” doc series, which has a bit of overlap by running from November 13 to 26. I really don’t know a lot about the documentaries being shown as part of this program, presented with Mubi and The New York Times, but check this out. For just 50 bucks, you can get an all-access pass to all 17 films, which you can casually watch at home over the two weeks of the fest.

Okay, let’s get to some theatrical releases, and the one I’ve been anticipating the most (also the one getting the widest release) is Christopher Landon’s FREAKY from Blumhouse and Universal Pictures. It stars Kathryn Newton as Millie Kessler, a high school outcast who is constantly picked on, but one night, she ends up encountering the serial killer known as the “Blissfield Butcher” (Vince Vaughn), but instead of dying when she’s stabbed with a ritual blade. The next morning Millie and the Butcher wake up to discover that they’ve been transported into the body of the other. Oh, it’s Friday the 13th… oh, now I get it… Freaky Friday!

Landon is best known for writing many of the Paranormal Activity sequels and directing Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones. Msore importantly, he directed Happy Death Day and its sequel Happy Death Day 2 U, two of my favorite Blumhouse movies, because they so successfully mix horror with comedy, which is so hard to do. That’s what Freaky is all about, too, and it’s even harder this time even though Freaky has way more gruesome and gory kills than anything in Landon’s other films. Heck, many of the kills are gorier than the most recent Halloween from Blumhouse, and it’s a little shocking when you’re laughing so hard at times.

Landon does some clever things with what’s essentially a one-joke premise of a killer in a teen girl’s body and vice versa, but like the Lindsay Lohan-Jamie Lee Curtis remake from 2003, it’s all about the talent of the two main actors to pull off the rather intricate nature of playing humor without losing the seriousness of the horror element.

It may not be too surprising with Vaughn, who made a ton of dramas and thrillers before turning to comedy. (Does everyone remember that he played Norman Bates in Gus Van Sant’s remake of Psycho and also starred in thrillers The Cell and Domestic Disturbance?) Newton is a bit more of an unknown quantity, but as soon as Tillie dawns the red leather jacket, you know that she can use her newly found homicidal attitude to get some revenge on those who have been terrible to her.

In some ways, the comedy aspects of Freaky win out over the horror but no horror fan will be disappointed by the amount of gory kills and how well the laughs emerge from a decent horror flick. Freaky seems like the kind of movie that Wes Craven would have loved.

I’m delighted to say that this week’s “Featured Flick” is Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin’s indie comedy THE CLIMB (Sony Pictures Classics), a movie that I have seen no less than three times this year, first when it was playing Sundance, a few months later when it was supposed to open in March… and then again last week! And you know what? I enjoyed it just as much every single time. It’s an amazing two-hander that stars Covino and Marvin as best friends Mike and Kyle, who have a falling out over the former sleeping with the latter’s fiancé, and it just gets funnier and funnier as the friends fight and Kyle gets engaged to Marisa (Gayle Rankin from GLOW) who hates Mike. Can this friendship possibly survive?

I really had no idea what to expect the first time I saw The Climb at the Sony Screening Room, but it was obviously going to be a very different movie for Sony Pictures Classics, who had started out the year with so many great films before theaters shut down. (Unfortunately, they may have waited too long on this one as theaters seem to be shutting down again even while NYC and L.A. have yet to reopen them. Still, I think this would be just as much fun in a drive-in.)

The movie starts with a long, extended scene of the two leads riding bikes on a steep mountain in France, talking to each other as Kyle (once the athlete of the duo) has fallen out of shape. During the conversation, Mike admits to having slept with Kyle’s fiancé Ava (Judith Godréche) and things turn hostile between the two. We then get the first big jump in time as we’re now at the funeral for Ava, who actually had been married to Mike. Kyle eventually moves on and begins a relationship with his high school sweetheart Marisa, who we meet at the Thanksgiving gathering for Kyle’s extended family. In both these cases, we see how the relationship between Mike and Kyle has changed/evolved as Mike has now fallen on hard times.

It's a little hard to explain why what’s essentially a “slice of life” movie can be so funny. On one hand, The Climb might be the type of movie we might see from Mike Leigh, but Covino and Marvin find a way to make everything funny and also quite eccentric in terms of how some of the segments begin and end. Technically, it’s also an impressive feat with the number of amazing single shot sequences and how smooth some of the transitions work. It’s actually interesting to see when and how the filmmakers decide to return to the lives of their subjects – think of it a bit like Michael Apted’s “Up” series of docs but covering a lot shorter span in time.

Most importantly, The Climb has such a unique tone and feel to other indie dramedies we’ve seen, as the duo seem to be influenced more by European cinema than American indies. Personally, I think a better title for The Climb might have been “Frenemied,” but even with the movie’s fairly innocuous title, you will not forget the experience watching this entertaining film anytime soon.

Maybe this should be called “Netflix week,” because the streamer is releasing a number of high-profile movies into theaters and on the streaming service. Definitely one of the more anticipated movies of the year is David Fincher’s MANK, which will get a theatrical release this week and then stream on Netflix starting December 4.

It stars Gary Oldman as Herman Mankiewicz, the Hollywood screenwriter who has allowed himself to succumb to alcoholism but has been hired by Orson Welles (Tom Burke) to write his next movie, Citizen Kane, working with a personal secretary Rita Alexander (played by Lily Collins). His story is told through his interactions with media mogul William Hearst (Charles Dance) and relationship with actress and Hearst ingenue and mistress, Marion Davies (Amanda Seyfried).

It I were asked to pick one director who is my absolute favorite, Fincher would probably be in my top 5 because he’s had such an illustrious and varied career of movie styles, and Mank continues that tradition as Fincher pays tribute to old Hollywood and specifically the work of Orson Welles in every frame of this biopic that’s actually more about the troubled writer of Citizen Kane who was able to absorb everything happening in his own Hollywood circles and apply them to the script.

More than anything, Mank feels like a movie for people who love old Hollywood and inside Hollywood stories, and maybe even those who may already know about the making of Welles’ highly-regarded film might find a few new things to appreciate. I particularly enjoyed Mankiewicz’s relationships with the women around him, including his wife “Poor Sarah,” played by Tuppence Middleton, Collins’ Rita, and of course, Seyfried’s absolutely radiant performance as Davies. Maybe I would have appreciated the line-up of known names and characters like studio head Louis B Mayer and others, if more of them had any sort of effect on the story and weren’t just

The film perfectly captures the dynamic of the time and place as Mank is frequently the only honest voice in a sea of brown nosers and yes-men. Maybe I would have enjoyed Oldman’s performance more if everything that comes out of Mankiewicz’s mouth wasn’t an all-too-clever quip.

The film really hits a high point after a friend of Mank’s commits suicide and how that adds to the writer’s woes about not being able to save him. The film’s last act involves Mank dealing with the repercussions after the word gets out that Citizen Kane is indeed about Hearst.

Overall, Mank is a movie that’s hard to really dig into, and like some of Fincher’s previous work, it tends to be devoid of emotion. Even Fincher’s decision to be clever by including cigarette burns to represent Mank’s “reels” – something explained by Brad Pitt in Fight Club – just drives home the point that Mank is deliberately Fincher’s most meta movie to date.

You can also read my technical/crafts review of Mank over at Below the Line.

Ron Howard’s adaptation of JD Vance’s bestselling memoir HILLBILLY ELEGY will be released by Netflix into theaters ahead of its streaming debut on November 24. It stars Amy Adams and Glenn Close, but in honesty, it’s about JD Vance, you know, the guy who wrote the memoir. The film follows his younger years (as played by Owen Asztalos) while dealing with a dysfunctional white trash family in Middletown, Ohio, dealing with his headstrong Mamaw (Close) and abusive mother dealing with drug addiction (Adams). Later in life, while studying at Yale (and played by Gabriel Basso), he has to return to his Ohio roots to deal with his mother’s growing addiction that forces him to come to terms with his past.

I’m a bit of a Ron Howard stan – some might even say “an apologist” – and there’s no denying that Hillbilly Elegy puts him the closest to A Beautiful Mind territory than he’s been in quite some time. That doesn’t mean that this movie is perfect, nor that I would consider it one of his better movies, though. I went into the movie not knowing a thing about JD Vance or his memoir but after the first reviews came out, I was a little shocked how many of them immediately went political, because there’s absolutely nothing resembling politics in the film.

It is essentially an adaptation of a memoir, dealing with JD Vance’s childhood but then also the past that led his mother and grandmother down the paths that made his family so dysfunctional. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between the older Vance and his future wife Usha (as played by Freida Pinto) earlier in their relationship as they’re both going to Yale and Vance is trying to move past his family history to succeed in the realm of law.

It might be a no-brainer why Adams and Close are being given so much of the attention for their performances. They are two of the best. Close is particularly amusing as the cantankerous Mamaw, who veers between cussing and crying, but also has some great scenes both with Adams and the younger Vance. The amazing special make-up FX used to change her appearance often makes you forget you’re watching Close. I wish I could say the same for Adams, who gives such an overwrought and over-the-top performance that it’s very hard to feel much emotionally for her character as she goes down a seemingly endless vortex of drug addiction. It’s a performance that leads to some absolute craziness. (It’s also odd seeing Adams in basically the Christian Bale role in The Fighter, although Basso should get more credit about what he brings out in their scenes together.)

Hillbilly Elegy does have a number of duller moments, and I’m not quite sure anyone not already a fan of Vance’s book would really have much interest in these characters. I certainly have had issues with movies about people some may consider “Southern White Trash,” but it’s something I’ve worked on myself to overcome. It’s actually quite respectable for a movie to try to show characters outside the normal circles of those who tend to write reviews, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the movie might be able to connect with people in rural areas that rarely get to see themselves on screen.

Hillbilly Elegy has its issues, but it feels like a successful adaptation of a novel that may have been difficult to keep an audience invested in with all its flashbacks and jumps in time.

Netflix is also streaming the Italian drama THE LIFE AHEAD, directed by Edoardo Ponti, starring Oscar-winning actress Sophia Loren, who happens to also be the filmmaker’s mother. She plays Madame Rosa, a Holocaust survivor in Italy who takes a stubborn young street kid named Momo (Ibrahima Gueye), much to both their chagrin.

I’ll be shocked if Italy doesn’t submit Ponti’s film as their choice for the Oscar’s International Film category, because it has all of the elements that would appeal to Oscar voters. In that sense, I also found it to be quite traditional and formulaic. Loren is quite amazing, as to be expected, and I was just as impressed with young Ibrahima Gueye who seems to be able to hold his own in what’s apparently his first movie. There’s others in the cast that also add to the experience including a trans hooker named Lola, but it’s really the relationship between the two main characters that keeps you invested in the movie. I only wish I didn’t spend much of the movie feeling like I knew exactly where it’s going in terms of Rosa doing something to save the young boy and giving him a chance at a good life.

I hate to be cynical, but at times, this is so by the books, as if Ponti watched every Oscar movie and made one that had all the right elements to appeal to Oscar voters and wokesters alike. That aside, it does such a good job tugging at heartstrings that you might forgive how obviously formulaic it is.

Netflix is also premiering the fourth season of The Crown this week, starring Olivia Colman as Queen Elizabeth and bringing on board Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher, Emma Corin, Helena Bonham Carter, Tobis Menzies, Marion Bailey and Charles Dancer. Quite a week for the streamer, indeed.

Another movie that may be in the conversation for Awards season is AMMONITE (NEON), the new film from Francis Lee (God’s Own Country), a drama set in 1840s England where Kate Winslet plays Mary Anning, a fossil hunter, tasked to look after melancholic young bride, Charlotte Murcheson (Saoirse Ronan), sent to the sea to get better only for them to get into a far more intimate relationship.

I had been looking forward to this film, having heard almost unanimous raves from out of Toronto a few months back. Maybe my expectations were too high, because while this is a well-made film with two strong actors, it’s also rather dreary and not something I necessarily would watch for pleasure. The comparisons to last year’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire (also released by NEON) are so spot-on that it’s almost impossible to watch this movie without knowing exactly where it’s going from the very minute that the two main characters meet.

Winslet isn’t bad in another glammed-down role where she can be particularly cantankerous, but knowing that the film would eventually take a sapphic turn made it somewhat predictable. Ronan seems to be playing her first outright adult role ever, and it’s a little strange to see her all grown-up after playing a teenager in so many movies.

The movie is just so contained to the one setting right up until the last 20 minutes when it actually lives the Lyme setting and lets us see the world outside Mary’s secluded lifestyle. As much as I wanted to love Ammonite, it just comes off as so obvious and predictable – and certainly not helped by coming out so soon after Portrait of a Lady. There’s also something about Ammonite that just feels so drab and dreary and not something I’d necessarily need to sit through a second time.

The animated film WOLFWALKERS (GKIds) is the latest from Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart, directors of the Oscar-nominated Secret of the Kells (Moore’s Song of the Sea also received an Oscar nomination a few years later.) It’s about a young Irish girl named Robyn (voiced Honor Kneafsey) who is learning to be hunter from her father (voiced by Sean Bean) to help him wipe out the last wolf pack. Roby then meets another girl (voiced by Eva Whittaker) who is part of a tribe rumored to transform into wolves by night.

I have to be honest that by the time I got around to start watching this, I was really burnt out and not in any mood to watch what I considered to look like a kiddie movie. It looks nice, but I’m sure I’d be able to enjoy it more in a different head (like watching first thing on a Saturday morning).

Regardless, Wolfwalkers will be in theaters nationwide this Friday and over the weekend via Fathom Events as well as get full theatrical runs at drive-ins sponsored by the Landmark, Angelika and L.A.’s Vineland before it debuts on Apple TV+ on December 11. Maybe I’ll write a proper review for that column. You can get tickets for the Fathom Events at WolfwalkersMovie.com.

Next up is Miles Joris-Peyrafitte’s DREAMLAND (Paramount), starring Margot Robbie as Allison Wells, a bank-robbing criminal on the loose who encounters young man named Eugene Evans (Finn Cole) in rural Dust Bowl era North Dakota and convinces him to hide her and help her escape the authorities by taking her to Mexico.

Another movie where I wasn’t expecting much, more due to the generic title and genre than anything else, but it’s a pretty basic story of a young man in a small town who dreams of leaving and also glamorizes the crime stories he read in pulps. Because of the Great Depression in the late ’20, the crime wave was spreading out across the land and affecting everyone, even in more remote locations like the one at the center of Dreamland.

The sad truth is that there have been so many better movies about this era, including Warren Beatty’s Bonnie and Clyde, Lawless and many others. Because of that, this might not be bad but it’s definitely trying to follow movies that leave quite a long shadow. The innocent relationship between Eugene and Allison does add another level to the typical gangster story, but maybe that isn’t enough for Dreamland to really get past the fact that the romantic part of their relationship isn’t particularly believable.

As much as this might have been fine as a two-hander, you two have Travis Fimmel as Eugene’s stepfather and another generic white guy in Garrett Hedlund playing Allison’s Clyde Barrow-like partner in crime in the flashbacks. Cole has enough trouble keeping on pace with Robbie but then you have Fimmel, who was just grossly miscast. The film’s score ended up being so overpowering and annoying I wasn’t even remotely surprised when I saw that Joris-Peyrafitte is credited with co-writing the film’s score.

Dreamland is fine, though it really needed to have a stronger and more original vision to stand out. It’s another classic case of an actor being far better than the material she’s been given. This is being given a very limited theatrical release before being on digital next Tuesday.

This might have been Netflix week, but maybe it could have been “Saban Films Week,” since the distributor also has three new movies. Actually, only two, because I screwed up, and I missed the fact that André Øvredal’s MORTAL was released by Saban Films LAST week. Not entirely my fault because for some reason, I had it opening this week, and I only realized that I was wrong last Wednesday. Oh, well. It stars Nate Wolff as Eric Bergeland, an American in Norway who seems to have some enigmatic powers, but after killing a young lad, he ends up on the lam with federal agent Christine (Iben Akerlie from Victoria).

This is another movie I really wanted to like since I’ve been such a fan of Øvredal from back to his movie Trollhunter. Certainly the idea of him taking a dark look at superpowers through the lends of Norse mythology should be right up my alley. Even so, this darker and more serious take on superpowers – while it might be something relatively unique and new in movies – it’s something anyone who has read comics has seen many times before and often quite better.

Wolff’s character is deliberately kept a mystery about where he comes from, and all we know is that he survived a fire at his farm, and we watched him kill a young man that’s part of a group of young bullies. From there, it kind of turns into a procedural as the authorities and Akerlie’s character tries to find out where Eric came from and got his powers. It’s not necessarily a slow or talkie movie, because there are some impressive set pieces for sure, but it definitely feels more like Autopsy of Jane Doe than Trollhunters. Maybe my biggest is that this is a relatively drab and lifeless performance by Wolff, who I’ve seen be better in other films.

Despite my issues, it doesn’t lessen my feelings about Øvredal as a filmmaker, because there’s good music and use of visual FX -- no surprise if you’ve seen Trollhunters -- but there’s still a really bad underlying feeling that you’re watching a lower budget version of an “X-Men” movie, and not necessarily one of the better ones. Despite a decent (and kinda crazy) ending, Mortal never really pays off, and it’s such a slog to get to that ending that people might feel slightly underwhelmed.

Seth Savoy’s ECHO BOOMERS (Saban Films) is a crime thriller based on a “true story if you believe in such things,” starring Patrick Schwarzenegger as Lance, a young art major, who falls in with a group of youths who break into rich people’s homes and trash them, also stealing some of the more valuable items for their leader Mel (Michael Shannon).

There’s a lot about Echo Boomers that’s going to feel familiar if you’ve seen Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring or the heist movie American Animals from a few years back, but even with those similarities, Seth Savoy has a strong cast and vision to make more out of the fairly weak writing than another director might manage. Schwarzenegger, who seems to be pulling in quite a wide range of roles for basically being another generic white actor is only part of a decent ensemble that includes Alex Pettyfer as the group’s ersatz alpha male Ellis and Hayley Law (also great in the recent Spontaneous) as his girlfriend Allie, the only girl taking part in the heists and destruction. Those three actors alone are great, but then you add Shannon just doing typically fantastic work as more of a catalyst than an antagonist.

You can probably expect there will be some dissension in the ranks, especially when the group’s “Fagan” Mel puts Lance in charge of keeping them in line and Allie forms a friendship with Lance. What holds the movie back is the decision to use a very traditional testimonial storytelling style where Lance and Allie narrate the story by relaying what happened to the authorities after their capture obviously. This doesn’t help take away from the general predictability of where the story goes either, because we’ve seen this type of thing going all the way back to The Usual Suspects.

While Echo Boomers might be fairly derivative of far better movies at times, it also has a strong directorial vision and a compelling story that makes up enough for that fact.

In theaters this Friday and then On Demand and Digital on November 24 is Eshom and Ian Nelms’ action-comedy FATMAN (Saban Films/Paramount), starring Mel Gibson as Santa Claus and Walton Goggins as the hired assassin sent to kill him by a spoiled rich boy named Billy (Chance Hurstfield) who unhappy with the presents he’s being brought for Christmas.

While we seem to be surrounded by high concept movies of all shapes and sizes, you can’t get much more high concept than having Mel Gibson playing a tough and cantankerous* Kris Kringle (*Is this the week’s actual theme?) who is struggling to survive with Mrs. Klaus (played by the wonderful Marianne Jean-Baptiste from In Fabric) when they’re given the opportunity to produce military grade items for the army using his speedy elf workshop. Unbeknownst to the Kringles, the disgruntled hitman who also feels he’s been let down by Santa is on his way to the North Pole to fulfill his assignment.

You’ll probably know whether you’ll like this movie or not since its snarkier comedic tone is introduced almost from the very beginning. This is actually a pretty decent role for Gibson that really plays up to his strengths, and it’s a shame that there wasn’t more to it than just a fairly obvious action movie that leads to a shoot-out. I probably should have enjoyed Goggins more in a full-on villainous role but having been watching a lot of him on CBS’ The Unicorn, it’s kind of hard to adjust to him playing this kind of role. I did absolutely love Marianne Jean-Baptiste and the warmth she brought to a relatively snarky movie.

I’m not sure if Fatman is the best showing of Eshom and Ian Nelms’ abilities as filmmakers, because they certainly have some, but any chance of being entertaining is tamped down by a feeling the filmmakers are constantly trying to play it safe. Because of this, Fatman has a few fun moments but a generally weak premise that never fully delivers. It would have thrived by being much crazier, but instead, it’s just far too mild.

Malin Åkerman stars in Paul Leyden’s CHICK FIGHT (Quiver Distribution) as Anna, a woman unhappy with her life and inability to survive on the little money she makes at her failing coffee shop. When Anna’s lesbian traffic cop friend Charleen (Dulcé Sloan) takes her to an underground fight club, Anna her trepidation about joining in, because she has never been in a fight in her life. Learning that her mother has a legacy at the club, Anna agrees to be trained by Alec Baldwin’s always-drunk Murphy in order to take on the challenges of the likes of Bella Thorne’s Olivia.

Another movie where I’m not sure where to begin other than the fact that I’m not sure I’ve seen a movie trying so hard to be fun and funny and failing miserably at both. Listen, I generally love Akerman, and I’m always hoping for her to get stronger material to match her talents, but this tries its best to be edgy without ever really delivering on the most important thing for any comedy: Laughs. Sure, the filmmakers try their best and even shoehorn a bit of romance for Anna in the form of the ring doctor played by Kevin Connolly from Entourage, but it does little to help distinguish the movie’s identity.

Listen, I’m not going to apologize for being a heterosexual male that finds Bella Thorne to be quite hot when she’s kicking ass in the ring. (I’m presuming that a lot of what we see in her scenes in the ring involves talented stuntwomen, but whoa! If that’s not the case.) Alec Baldwin seems to be in this movie merely as a favor to someone, possibly one of the producers, and when he disappears with no mention midway through the movie, you’re not particularly surprised. Another of trying too hard is having Anna’s father Ed (played by wrestler Kevin Nash) come out as gay and then use his every appearance to talk about his sex acts. Others in the cast like Fortune Feimster seem to be there mainly for their bulk and believability as fighters.

Ultimately, Chick Fight is a fairly lame and bland girl power movie written, directed and mostly produced by men. I’m not sure why anyone might be expecting more from it than being a poorly-executed comedy lacking laughs.

And yet, that wasn’t the worst movie of the weekend. That would be Andrzej Bartkowiak’s DEAD RECKONING (Shout! Studios). Yes, the Polish cinematographer and filmmaker who once made the amazing Romeo is Bleeding, starring Gary Oldman and Lena Olin, has returned with a movie with the onus of a premise that reads “a thriller inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013.” No, I did not make that up. It mostly takes place in Nantucket, Massachusetts, which I guess is sort of close to Boston, but instead it focuses on the relationship between teens Niko (K.J. Apa) and Tillie (India Eisley), the latter whose parents died in a plane crash that might have been caused by a terrorist. It just so happens that Niko’s brother Marco (Scott Adkins) is an Albanian terrorist. Coincidence? I think not!

Once you get past the most generic title ever, Dead Reckoning is just plain awful. I probably should have known what to expect when the movie opens with Eric “Never Turned Down a Job” Roberts, but also, I strong feel that Scott Adkins, better known for his martial arts skills, is easily one of the worst actors ever to be given lines to say in a movie. And yet, somehow, there are even worse actors in this movie. How is that even possible?

Although this presumed action movie opens with one of three or four fight sequences, we’re soon hanging out on the beach with a bunch of annoying teenagers, including Tillie, who is drowning the sorrow of recently losing her parents by literally drinking constantly in almost every single scene. When she meets the handsome Eastern European Niko, we think there’s some chance of Tillie being saved, but it isn’t meant to be.

Part of what’s so weird is that Dead Reckoning begins in territory familiar to fans of Barkowiak’s movies like Exit Wounds, Cradle 2 the Grave and Maximum Impact but then quickly shifts gears to a soppy teen romance. It’s weird enough to throw you off when at a certain point, it returns to the main plot, which involves Adkins’ terrorist plot and the search by FBI Agent Cantrell (played by James Remar) to find the culprit who killed Tillie’s parents. Oh, the FBI agent is also Tillie’s godfather. Of course, he is.

Beyond the fact that I spent much of the movie wondering what these teens in Nantucket have to do with the opening scene or the overall premise, this is a movie that anything that could be resembling talent or skill in Barkowiak’s filmmaking is long gone. Going past the horrendous writing – at one point, the exasperated and quite xenophobic Cantrell exclaims, “It’s been a nightmare since 9/11... who knows what's next?” -- or the inability of much of the cast to make it seem like anyone involved cares about making a good movie, the film is strangled by a score that wants to remind you it’s a thriller even as you watch people having fun on the beach on a sunny day.

Eventually, it does get back to the action with a fight between Cantrell and Marco… and then Marco gets into a fight with Tillie’s nice aunt nurse Jennifer where she has a surprisingly amount of fighting skills. There’s also Nico’s best friend who is either British or gay or both, but he spends every one of his scenes acting so pretentious and annoying, you kind of hope he’ll be blown up by terrorists. Sadly, you have to wait until the last act before the surfboards are pulled out. (Incidentally, filmmakers, please don’t call a character in your movie “Marco,” especially if that character’s name is going to be yelled out repeatedly, because it will just lead to someone in the audience to yell out “Polo!” This is Uwe Boll School of Bad Filmmaking 101!)

The point is that the movie is just all over the place yet in a place that’s even remotely watchable. There even was a point when Tillie was watching the video of her parents dying in a car crash for the third or fourth time, and I just started laughing, since it’s such a slipshod scene.

It’s very likely that Dead Reckoning will claim the honor of being the worst movie I’ve seen this year. Really, the only way to have any fun watching this disaster is to play a drinking game where you take a drink every time Eisley’s character takes a drink. Or better yet, just bail on the movie and hit the bottle, because I’m sure whoever funded this piece of crap is.

Opening at New York’s Film Forum on Wednesday is Manfred Kirchheimer’s FREE TIME (Grasshopper/Cinema Conservancy), another wonderful doc from one of the kings of old school cinema verité documentary filmmaking, consisting of footage of New York City from 1960 that’s pieced together with a wonderful jazz score. Let me tell you that Kirschheimer’s work is very relaxing to watch and Free Time is no exception. Plus the hour-long movie will premiere in Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema, accompanied by Rudy Burckhardt’s 1953 film Under the Brooklyn Bridge which captures Brooklyn in the ‘50s.

Also opening in Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema Friday is Hong Khaou’s MONSOON (Strand Releasing) starring Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) as Kit, who returns to Ho Chi Minh City for the first time since his family fled after the Vietnam War when he was six. As he tries to make sense of it, he ends in a romance with Parker Sawyers’ American ex-pat and forms a friendship with a local student (Molly Harris). Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to watch this one before finishing up this column but hope to catch soon, because I do like Golding as an actor.

I shared my thoughts on Werner Herzog and Clive Oppenheimer’s FIREBALL: VISITORS FROM DARK WORLDS, when it played at TIFF in September, but this weekend, it will debut on Apple TV+. It’s another interesting and educational science doc from Herr Herzog, this time teaming with the younger Cambridge geoscientist and “volcanologist” to look at the evidence left behind by meteors that have arrived within the earth’s atmosphere, including the races that worship the falling space objects.

Opening at the Metrograph this week (or rather on its website) is Shalini Kantayya’s documentary CODED BIAS, about the widespread bias in facial recognition and the algorithms that affect us all, which debuted Weds night and will be available on a PPV basis and will be available through November 17. The French New Wave anthology Six In Paris will also be available as a ticketed movie ($8 for members/$12 for non-members) through April 13. Starting Thursday as part of the Metrograph’s “Live Screenings” is Steven Fischler and Joel Sucher’s Free Voice of Labor: The Jewish Anarchists from 1980. Fischler’s earlier doc Frame Up! The imprisonment of Martin Sostre from 1974 will also be available through Thursday night.

Sadly, there are just way too many movies out this week, and some of the ones I just wasn’t able to get to include:

Dating Amber (Samuel Goldwyn) The Giant (Vertical) I Am Greta (Hulu) Dirty God (Dark Star Pictures) Where She Lies (Gravitas Ventures) Maybe Next Year (Wavelength Productions) Come Away (Relativity) Habitual (National Amusements) The Ride (Roadside Attractions, Forest, ESX) Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (Netflix) Transference: A Love Story (1091) Sasquatch Among the Wildmen (Uncork’d) All Joking Aside (Quiver Distribution) Secret Zoo (MPI Medi Group/Capelight Pictures)

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, I think you’re very special and quite good-looking. Feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

#Movies #reviews #Mank #TheClimb #Freaky #Fatman #Heartland #Mortal #EchoBoomers #VOD #Streaming #TheLifeAhead #HillbillyElegy

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carriagelamp · 4 years

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April 2020 Book Review - Quarantine Brain Fry Edition

This month of quarantine was much more challenging for me that last March... I suppose because we’re really in the throws of it, and the “extended spring break” feel has worn off. Between general World Anxieties and the incredible challenges of trying to adapt my work into an online setting, my brain has been absolute mush -- and I have a feeling I’m not the only one. Most of my books this month are either very easy reads (comics and children’s novels) or rereads or both! Honestly, I’ve been playing a lot more Animal Crossing than I have been reading...

So the theme for this month of reading? Treat your brain to a rest, and go reread that favourite comic or picture book or graphic novel from when you were a kid. We don’t have libraries or book stores at the moment, so dig deep into your shelf for something you love that you haven’t touched in a while. Here’s what I read:

Ghost Hunters Adventure Club and the Mystery of the Grande Chateau

I’m going to start with best and most unexpected book that I read this month (although this is actually a New Book and not a reread, so maybe it’s a bad start). It’s a Hardy Boys parody novel, and yes it’s by the Game Grumps. The only reason I even found out it existed was because my brother heard about it and we decided that this would be our next Sibling Read Aloud. It made a great read aloud. I was rather skeptical at first, but it was genuinely very clever and very, very funny. There characters were fucking delightful, as they bumbled their way through the mystery, and we ended up accidentally reading almost half the book in one sitting because we couldn’t put it down once we got to endgame. If you like satire and Classic Youth Mystery then do yourself a favour and give this a go. I am desperate for a sequel.

ISHI: Simple Tips from a Solid Friend

A picture book that was recommended to some of the local elementary children who are dealing with isolation from school and their friends. Its beauty is in its simplicity. It shows Ishi, a very simple white stone, experience challenges that it must then find ways to cope with. Things like loneliness, feeling empty or scared, being sad... all things children (and adults, I very much appreciated this little story) may be experiencing. This is definitely a picture book, not a self-help book, but it’s still very encouraging and makes me want to go and create my own Ishi. There’s a reading of it is online, and if you’re feeling like having a solid stone friend reassure you, I would recommend going to listen to it!

Bone 1-5

So, the first in my long list of books that I reread: I’ve started rereading the Bone series for the first time in years. Hands down one of my all time favourite graphic novel series. If you haven’t read Bone, it’s a classic and one of the best example of American graphic novels imho. It’s about Fone Bone and his cousins who, after being driven out of Boneville by Phoney Bone’s money-grubbling stunts, have found themselves across a desert and in a strange, fantastical valley where nothing makes sense. The three of them get drawn into the strange mysteries and adventures of Thorn, her grandmother, and the village of Barrelhaven. Such a perfect blend of beautiful art, comedy and off-the-wall cartoon-level hijinks, as well as really intense, dark adventure and tension as the story unfolds.

Also created this sequence, which may be the funniest two panels ever drawn in a comic

Here Is Greenwood v1

A charming ‘90s manga from my stash that I decided to reread. Honestly one of my favourite feel-good mangas, because it’s such a simple, pure, good-hearted slice of life without some of the gimmicks that other manga use. It’s about Kazuya starting at an all-boys school partway into the year, and moving into the school’s dorms. The entire book is just about him being constantly pestered by the well-meaning characters that share the dorm with him. It’s just goofy and fun, and has the fantastic aesthetic of a good ‘90s manga. Also, it was one of those books that, while technically not ~queer~ was also ~queer enough~ for my deprived teenage soul.

Blood Of Elves

The fourth book of the Witcher series that I’ve finished. I’ll be honest, not my favourite. I really enjoyed the beginning, the whole espionage thing with Dandelion, and then Ciri with Geralt, the Kaer Morhen witchers, and Triss. That was all really fun. It felt like it dragged a lot more though after Ciri joined Yennefer... And yet I love Yennefer as a character, she is hilariously snide and clever and really sweet with Ciri. But it felt like a scene that could have been done in a couple chapters took up half the book. Maybe that’s just because, as I said, my brain was mush and I couldn’t deal with it. I have the next book and as soon as my brain doesn’t look like chicken noodle soup anymore I will be starting it!

The Mouse and the Motorcycle

You know I love a good animal adventure story, and this is one that I adored as a child. The story of Ralph, a young mouse living with his family in a rundown motel, and how he and a young human boy discover that they can understand each other through a shared passion for vehicles... in particular a red toy motorcycle. There’s just something heartwarming about Ralph racing around a motel on a tiny toy motorcycle that runs when he makes motorcycles noises. I’ll have to find the second one as soon as libraries are open again.

Kit: The Adventures of a Raccoon

Another animal adventure story from my childhood, although this one is more of a chapter book than a true novel. This is a book that I’ve been lowkey hunting for years and finally came across in a school library. It’s a more realistic look at what a raccoon’s life is like, from birth to adulthood. Rereading it, it’s not a particularly exciting book and wouldn’t have otherwise stood out to me, but there’s still something that calls to me. It’s very gentle and makes this raccoon’s growing and learning feel very soft and compassionate, even if there are tragedies and death.

A quick edit because it was only just now that I realized that this is a Canadian lit book! Always exciting to discover that a favourite is Canadian!

Calvin and Hobbes: Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

Calvin and Hobbes, yet one more bullet to add to the list of Comfort Comics that I’ve pulled out to keep my mind entertained while I can’t quite process Proper Novels. I doubt there’s anything I can say about Calvin and Hobbes that hasn’t already been said. You’ve either read these books already, and are nodding along with me, or you haven’t and therefore are not a human being I can relate to.

Spy vs Spy

I dug out some of the old Spy vs Spy comics we had as kids. They’re basically falling to pieces, but it was fun -- like so many other books on this list -- to revisit something so familiar but which I haven’t looked at in years. These were a very odd experience to reread, because on one hand Spy vs Spy comics have such a simple, goofy premise it’s hard not to just grin and laugh while you read them, but also like... yup they sure are old and kinda ~problematique~ eh? Whatcha gonna do.

The Twisted Ones

The read aloud my brother and I did before Ghost Hunters, although we technically finished reading it at the very end of March, but too late for it to make that book roundup post. Look, I’m not going to defend myself here. Yes, I’ve read an obscene number of Five Nights at Freddy’s books. The first one of this series The Silver Eyes was honestly better than I would have expected. This sequel was not as good, unsurprisingly, but the main character is still so fucking bizarre, so different than the sort of protagonist I would normally expect from a series like this, that I can’t quite bring myself to stop reading them. And when I had a moment of Realization, about what might be in store for the third book, I genuinely screamed at my brother who was reading at the time. So yes. Somehow this youth horror is better than it has any right to be -- not good but better than it should be -- and yes I will be reading the third the second the libraries open again.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Another reread! This was a book I got as a birthday present when I was in... probably preschool? It’s a cross between a large picture book and a chapter book. It’s essentially a “novelization” of the original Disney movie, and it has such cute art to go along with it. Winnie the Pooh has always been a favourite of mine, and reading this old book was like a warm hug. Makes me want to see if I can get my VCR set up so I can watch that old movie again...

Frog and Toad Together

A friend found someone reading this book in a very asmr-style on youtube and recommended I listen because they found it super chill. And they were right! It is ridiculously chill. I’ve never read a Frog and Toad story before, but it’s really just a very cute old book that immediately launches you right back into grade one.

The BFG

This is my first time reading the BFG and it has all of Dahl’s usual charm and quirkiness. A young girl gets plucked out of an abusive orphanage by the Big Friendly Giant, who brings her to the terrifying Land Of Giants... all of which are bigger and crueller than the BFG, and who have an appetite for human flesh. It was quick and fun, and it’s always hard not to fall in love with Dahl’s sweet characters, especially this big eared, dream-catching giant.

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gamesofmuggles · 5 years

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Steve Harrington x Reader - Part 1 : Code Orange

Prompt: The scene takes place after the events of season 3. You are Erica and Lucas babysitter and you find out the kids are sneaking out of the house to spend time with Steve Harrington.

Disclaimer : we don’t own any of this gifs/photos (credits to the owners)

Enjoyyyyy :)

It was the end of the summer. 1985, a hell of a year. Weird stuffs had happening during the past few months. Dead people, chemical leaking, and the mysterious destruction of Starcourt in only one night. Hawkins had become the center of attention of all Americans after that. But it didn’t last for long. The reporters were already packing their stuffs and leaving the town. Soon children would go back to school and no one will remember anything. Like Always. It wasn’t a problem for you, peace and quiet were all you ever wanted. You were trying to make money before going back to college, by keeping an eye on your neighbors’ children, the Sinclair. To be honest, Erica was a pain in the ass sometimes, she couldn’t stop talking and complaining all day long saying she was too old for a babysitter. How old was she exactly? 7 years old? And her brother, Lucas, was a weird little kid, playing with his talkie walkie 24/7. Annoying af, or maybe you’d just forget how it was to be a kid. Now everything was all about money, having a car and a job. Yeah, maybe talkie walkie was better finally...

On this hot day of August you were listening to Fresh by Kool & the Gang with your brand-new walkman. Your feet were following the rhythm, skating on Sinclair’s carpet with your rollerblade. Being paid for this was not that bad. The children were spending half of their time in their bedrooms, not bothering you. Four hours left and you could go to the roller rink to skate for real, you thought, looking at the clock on the wall.

Suddenly above the music you heard a strange sound upstairs. You stopped the music and took your headphones off.

- Erica, Lucas, is everything okay? you called

Please, please tell me they haven’t broken anything, not again, you silently prayed. But no one answered your question.

- Hello, I am talking to you!!

Still nothing and now you had to go upstairs to check if everything was okay. God, you would never have children. You knocked on Lucas’s door, but once more no one answer.

- I am coming in. I swear if you...

You stopped talking. The bedroom was empty. A comic book was opened on the bed, but Lucas and his bloody talkie walkie were gone. Same thing in Erica’s bedroom. Were they trying to play hide-and-seek with you or something?

- Hm, okay. I bet you are under the bed, you said

You kneeled but found no one under the bed. No one in the wardrobe. No one behind the door. You moved to the window and checked the curtain. No one. But wow interesting, the window was open and here they were, running on the grass of their garden. A car was parked a few meters away and a man you couldn’t identify was waiting for them.

- What the hell, you mumbled as the Sinclair was getting in the car

What the hell? WHAT THE HELL? The car was now leaving and you couldn’t move from this window. Who was this bloody man? What if he was kidnapping them? You started to panic. But the car was gone. Now, you were screwed.

You spent the worst two hours of your life after this. You had the phone in your hands, shaking, but it was like you couldn’t move, like you couldn’t do anything but wait. Obviously, the perfect babysitter would have called the cops. But you couldn’t admit to yourself that you’d failed that much at your job. The Sinclair, the cops, your mom, every soul in this town would know you as the girl that let two innocent children in the hands of some kind of rapist or total psycho and didn’t do anything.

And then, like in a magic show, the car reappeared. Lucas and Erica ran back to the house laughing, safe and sound. You heard them climbing to their window distinctly and then it was the silence again. You could still hear the beat of your heart, tho. But your hands weren’t shaking anymore. Damn kids. They better talk.

***

The Sinclair was looking at you, both worried and amazed.

- Come on take a sit, I made waffles for you, you said with a bright smile - But aren’t we going to eat with mom and dad in less than one hour? asked Lucas confused - Don’t worry. You can eat whatever you want. I won’t tell your parents.

After a second of hesitation, the siblings started to eat voraciously.

- It’s good, isn’t it? you asked - Delicious, answered Erica with her mouth full of food - So delicious that I deserve a reward, don't you think? - Sure... - Okay… So you better tell me where you’ve been all afternoon. In details, you said with a deep and sinister voice.

Both of them choked with their waffle before turning to each other, with a grave and troubled glance. Wow, you were actually scaring those kids, you thought proudly.

- Did you saw us? - Well yes. And I need an explanation, right now. Or maybe you prefer talking about this with your mom... - No, no, no, please, said Erica

One more threat and they were done.

- Okay, hm don't worry we were just watching a film at Mike’s. In his basement, said Lucas trying to calm the situation.

His sister nodded.

- And I guess you can’t watch a film at home? And you can’t ask me permission? Can you imagine how worried I was? I almost called the cops! you screamed - Sorry, mumbled Erica - Yeah sorry, and who was this guy in the car? - Steve Harrington, he works at Video Family and he gives us such cool film every week. This is so... - Every week? What do you mean every week? This is not the first time?

Lucas was now having trouble swallowing his own saliva. This situation was insane. These two had been sneaking out for weeks… with Steve Harrington. Like Steve Harrington from high school, the popular guy that all the girls wanted.

- Well, you two saved your ass for this time. Tomorrow I will go to Video Family and talk to Steve. But I warn you, if his explanations don't satisfy me, your mom will know.

For a more dramatic look, you took back the waffles from the table. The look on their faces was hilarious. Damn, having so much power was cool.

The next day you kept your promise and went to Video family. The children didn’t lie, Steve was there at the welcome desk with another girl from your high school, Robin.

- Hello...

-... Welcome to...

-... Video Family...

-... How can we help you?

Robin and Steve looked pretty proud of their intro. You struggled to contain your laughter.

- I would like to have a moment with Steve please. Alone, you asked gently

Robin opened two round eyes, a little surprised, even shocked. But she stepped back.

- Good luck, dingus, she whispered. - Hm, so what is happening Y/N? asked Steve. - Oh nothing crazy, you know. Just you, stealing MY kids to drive them to some random house the other day.

Boom. There it was the same look on his face than the one of Lucas and Erica the day before. You caught Robin looking at you but she quickly turned her head.

- At first I thought you were some kind of pedophile, but… - Holy hell, no, no, no. I can explain, I swear, said Steve interrupting you - Steve, what kind of person goes to a basement with little kids? - The way you phrase your sentence make it weird... But we were just watching a film. You know, star wars the one with the little bears.

Steve started to imitate the sound of a laser sword, without success.

- Okay, well I should have told you, he finally admitted - Yeah indeed. I am sorry, but I have to tell Mrs.Sinclair and I am pretty sure you won’t be allowed to approach her children after that...nor any other child in this town. - Wow, wow, wow wait a second. I am sure we can find a deal, said Steve with a bit of panic in his voice

To be fair, he sounded honest and Steve Harrington was not the kind of person that was dangerous for children. It was just strange. And a bit funny, King Steve wasn’t usually struggling to get his way.

- Go on, impress me, you said - Okay, okay let me see... I ask you on a date. Saturday night, you good? - What do I win? - Well a date with me, duh, said Steve pointing at his chest

You rolled your eyes. That was presumptuous. You were about to tell him to shut up and when a bunch of kids entered the video club yelling.

- CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! screamed a teenager with a cap - Henderson what is... - Code orange Steve let’s go!! said the kid once more

You noticed Lucas and Erica behind him.

- Y/N, what are you doing here? asked Lucas - Making a deal, you answered

But Steve wasn’t interested in you anymore. He caught his keys on the desk and started following the troop with Robin.

- Hm, excuse me, where do you think you are going? you asked - Listen, Y/N it’s urgent, can we talk about this later? - Hm... No - CODE ORANGE! CODE ORAN... - I KNOW, yelled Steve at Henderson - You are not going anywhere with the Sinclair, do you hear me? you added - Ok, fine, come with us then. But I don't want to hear you complaining, said Steve reluctantly.

You gave him the finger but followed him. That’s not exactly how you wanted to spend your afternoon but after all it was a code orange.

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