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My (spoiler-free) thoughts on Dragon Age: The Veilguard
The review embargo has lifted and I can officially say that I've played through Dragon Age: The Veilguard early!
Here are my spoiler-free thoughts and personal opinions on the overall gameplay experience:
Narrative:
Rook's dialogue and decisions impact SO MUCH of the game, and come into play later on. From companions remembering your beverage preferences, to whether someone you spared shows up later to help or harm you, it feels like the game is paying attention and that you matter.
The stakes are unbelievably high. The Evanuris are utterly terrifying villains, in ways that Corypheus wasn’t. You really feel the magnitude of their power on a personal level as well as a worldwide level.
Whatever your thoughts on him, Solas is FUN as a character. He’s fun to talk to, fun to talk strategy with, fun to rile up and verbally spar with and fun to grudgingly ally with. Now that he can drop his former act and appear to you as the Dread Wolf, and you get to see his memories, you and he team get to decide how to utilise his knowledge and how far your trust extends.
The setup and payoff of the story beats are absolutely superb. The emotional turmoil as a player of being ensnared by things that was foreshadowed earlier in the game is utterly exquisite. Every thread of the larger tapestry has been woven with so much love by the writing team, and every character’s arc tie into the larger story in interesting ways.
The characters feel like they have full lives outside of the player character. You frequently go exploring their home turf and can meet their friends and family. They interact with each other on their own and move about the Lighthouse to spend time together, leave notes for each other, and talk about each other even when the other isn’t there. The team feels like they all really care about each other as well as you.
You can tell what your approval rating is with characters, but if you want to romance them you have to put some thought into it. Interactions and world events besides the heart on the dialogue wheel influence their attraction to you.
Gameplay:
The combat is very engaging, and I enjoyed how unique all the enemies were.
Abilities in the skill tree can be refunded so you can redirect to a different specialization, which is really handy if you’re indecisive and overwhelmed at first (like I get when choosing abilities). Most companions can get healing abilities no matter what class, so you don’t have to worry about balancing your rogues/mages/warriors (most of the time).
Climbing, balancing on ledges, using ziplines and sliding down slopes made environments feel more immersive. Additionally I like how each companion has unique abilities that let them interact with the world (fixing mechanisms, breathing fire, summoning bridges from the Fade, etc), and learning their abilities alongside them helps you grow closer.
The wayfinder light makes everything feel streamlined, so it's way harder to get lost while exploring an area. I hardly had to look at the mini map at all, and usually I’m glued to it! This meant I could actually look around at the beautiful environments and appreciate how lively they were, even without NPCs.
The upgrade system is far less overwhelming than in Inquisition; there are a finite amount of weapons/armour/accessories to be found, which are designed for each specific character like in DA:O and DA:2. There's also no longer crafting from scratch. If you loot an item you already have, it automatically upgrades the single item rather than giving you duplicates.
You know that frustration of coming across higher-level armour that just isn’t as flattering as your current one? Not to worry, you can collect “appearances” which you can toggle on as the visual for the armour while still retaining the benefits of the original.
I cannot stress enough how simple and easy to use the inventory is. It's heavenly.
Using the shops of specific cities increases your reputation within those cities, which is a good incentive to explore and use the shops. I usually hate in-world shopping but here it was simple, and thinking about it tactically worked pretty well.
Quests sometimes reach a point where you can't continue at your current place in the story, and must return to in later acts. When re-exploring familiar areas, everything feeling big enough to be fresh with each visit, and new loot and codex entires appear.
Edit: something I forgot to mention. In character creator, you get to make your Inquisitor after you make Rook. The build menus are all the same, so manage your energy accordingly for doing it all again immediately after for your Inky. I spent an hour and a half building my Rook and wanted to get right to playing, and had to re-wire my brain a bit to be patient and keep going with the CC. (Seeing my Inquisitor with new graphics was awesome though).
A couple little things I appreciated:
The control sounds are very pleasing. From the whoosh of opening the combat wheel to the clinking of upgrades to the subtle whir of holding the decision button, they're a nice touch.
If companions are interrupted in conversation by combat, they resume it afterwards with a "what were you saying before?".
Photo mode is so fun to play with, and you can adjust blur/brightness/lens/depth within the scene. You can also toggle on and off the visibility of your Rook, your party, NPCs and enemies!
Assan learns new interaction tricks at the Lighthouse as the game goes on.
Nitpicks:
Overall I had an incredibly positive experience. The gripes I had were tiny things like:
I genuinely like the new art style of the game as a whole. However, the blurriness of some of the features in contrast with some elements being very crisp was distracting.
When trying to sell valuables for faction points without using Sell All, it takes quite a long time to count up all the individual sales, and it isn't a live counter. So it's kind of annoying if you get +3 points for each item you sell, need 150 points to get the next tier of items, and over 10K worth of valuables that you want to sell to other factions.
If you do lots of quests without returning to the Lighthouse often, occasionally companions at the Lighthouse will have dialogue pertaining to the quests you've just finished as if you haven't done them.
You can pet the dogs and cats in the cities, but Rook turns their back to the camera to do it and it blocks most of the action unless you rotate quickly.
Gender stuff:
I was incredibly moved that not only can Rook be trans/nonbinary in the character creator if you so choose, but they get options to feel differently about their identity and journey, and it impacts their dialogue and how they relate to other characters! To access this make sure to interact with Varric's Mirror in your room in the Lighthouse. There are many conversation options throughout the game to discuss your identity with other characters, or relate your change of self to other situations. Crucially, it comes up when entering a romance and you have to communicate with your partner about it, which I never even THOUGHT of including in a game because it seemed impossible to even allow trans main characters to begin with.
There are also multiple trans and nonbinary characters throughout Thedas. What I found the most realistic was that just like in life, it is a consistent presence in any character's life, and comes up in conversation more than once. I have never seen a game this forthcoming and open about the topic of transitioning, and it was so validating.
Final thoughts:
I adore the other games in the franchise. Something about The Veilguard affected me in a way no other game has. I cried multiple times while playing this game, both from joy and sadness. What struck me most is that the people who worked on this game REALLY listened to feedback from previous games, and were very set on making a piece of art that meant something to people. Even during the last few years of me testing the game, things have been adjusted and changed in direct response to our reactions and suggestions. It's surreal and quite touching.
Mileage will vary, but my playthrough was 70 hours on very low difficulty and I haven't done every side quest yet. I could easily have spent more than 100 hours in the game if I wasn't pressed for time.
I hope you enjoy this game as much as I have. See you in Thedas.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#harry plays the veilguard#I hope these are somewhat useful/interesting to people thinking about playing#I am so sorry if it shows up as a wall of text I don't know how to make the format more interesting
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U-20 Japan National Team Match Just Before the Game: A Day in Daily Life at Blue Lock.
Isagi: "I styled my hair. The little sprout on top of my head looks great today! Just then, Bachira came up and said, "Harvest ♪" while grabbing it tightly. No matter how much I tried to escape, he kept holding on. I resigned myself to it and let him grip it for a while until he got bored and went off somewhere. What a free spirit!"
Gagamaru: "There’s no nature inside Blue Lock. I wanted to see trees and flowers. Anything would be fine. Just something green. While I was looking around, I found Otoya. His bangs are green, so when I stared at him, he said, "Not into guys."
Aryū: "Little by little, the Blue Lock folks are starting to get a taste of 'Osha.' But in truly 'Osha' moments, people shine. I swear here that one day I’ll show that!"
Niko: "I was caught washing my forehead by Aryū-kun. It was embarrassing. But he taught me, 'Embarrassment is an important emotion that makes us human.' I became interested in Aryū-kun. I want to know a little more about this 'Osha' thing."
Chigiri: "I fell asleep while drying my hair. There’s no one here to wake me up. My hair is long, so it takes a while. Maybe I'll cut it next summer."
Bachira: "When I was walking around n*k*d, Karasu scolded me! Otoya joined me in being n*k*d ♪ Isagi... treated me the same as always! It seems he’s gotten tired of making remarks at my n*k*dn*ss. What a strange guy."
Karasu: "I found myself in the bath with Hiori. We didn't really have a conversation, but that was perfectly fine. I think we were both comfortable with it. It was great to see him looking well. I'm glad we had the chance to meet again."
Nagi: "I ate alone. I did the laundry by myself. I’ve become able to train on my own. I'm proud of myself. Changing is fun, but it can also be a hassle and a little lonely. Still, I think it's an important thing."
Otoya: "I contacted some girls I know on my smartphone after a long time. Most of them didn’t respond. It turns out that not keeping in touch regularly really does make girls dislike you. On to the next one! Woohoo ♪"
Yukimiya: "I talked about various things with Nagi-kun. Like the things we like, and how we've managed to get this far. It seems that for Nagi-kun, the existence of Isagi is significant. It's a story that doesn't really concern me, but having a rival like that feels nice somehow."
Rin: "When I woke up in the morning, my left lower eyelash was turned inside out and it hurt my eye. It happens sometimes, right? Bedhead with lower eyelashes. Huh? Is it just me? My brother said he has it... Oh, don't remind me of that guy. What a terrible wake-up!"
Hiori: "I trained with Isagi-kun. I sent in crosses, and Isagi-kun delivered a direct shot. With each one, he practices with intention and communicates well. He’s a smart type. He’s a bit like Karasu, too. I don’t dislike Isagi Yoichi."
Reo: "I ate alone and trained alone. It’s been a while since I did anything by myself. I can live on my own, but I dream of things I can’t do alone. I have to change. It’s not over yet. Someday, I’ll do it once more."
Barou: "I touched up the "X" shave on my temple. One line represents my murderous intent towards others, and the other represents my murderous intent towards myself. What’s that? Don’t look at me, you stinky guy (Nagi). It’s not a mark saying to give me a headshot here!"
Igaguri: "My hair had gotten long, so I asked Shidou to cut it with clippers, and he ended up giving me a heart-shaped bald spot on the back of my head. Love Amida Buddha…"
Ishikari: "I suddenly felt like playing basketball, so I asked Anri-chan for a basketball. I gathered some people randomly, and it turned out Kiyora was surprisingly really good. Basketball is so much fun!"
Kurona: "Good morning, good morning. Hello, hello. Good night, good night. Greetings are important, very important. It’s a given, but it’s precious. Everyone’s everyday life, everyday life."
Kiyora: "For dinner today, should I have croquettes or minced cutlets? My heart is 50% 50%. I feel like both choices are correct, but I also think I’d regret whichever one I choose. Alright. I’ll eat both. ………………………… Damn, I ate too much and my stomach hurts. Should I lie down or go to the bathroom? The borderline starts again."
Zantetsu: "It's better to brush your teeth properly every day, I told everyone. They replied, 'You should study more.' Well, if you get a cavity, don't say I didn't warn you!"
Tokimitsu: "I was saying, 'I lack confidence. I want confidence,' when Karasu-kun teased me, saying, 'It was just lying in the bathroom earlier, right?' Ugh… come on, don’t mess with me for real… Well, I went to check the bathroom anyway… but of course, it wasn’t there! Uwaaa!"
Nanase: "I washed my headband. When I put it in the dryer, it shrank a lot... what should I do? For now, I just wore it as it was that day. My head felt 'juri juri' (itchy)... Oh, I mean it felt 'zuki zuki' (throbbing). There goes my dialect again! Hehe, sorry about that!"
Hiiragi: "I used my hobby of tarot cards to predict my future. The 'Devil' card came up… Well, it's just a fortune-telling, right? Nothing to worry about! Right?"
Raichi: "I got really into a sideburns talk with Ishikari! His sideburns are pretty good, but mine are definitely cooler! In the end, we ended up arguing about it!"
Shidou: "I woke up. My mind feels clear. Yeah, it’s a good start today. In the afternoon, my body feels energized. I can sense my cells buzzing with excitement. At night, my heart feels restless. I’m sure something will happen tomorrow. I want to experience this night, knowing I can sleep with that thought, over and over again."
Ego: "Anri-chan was drooling and sleeping at her desk. She should sleep in her own room. Well, I decided to show a little concern for her. With this, she’ll probably listen to me for a while again. Kindness has its intentions. That’s how humans are."
Anri: "I was given an assignment by Ego-san to come up with ideas to make the existence of the Blue Lock better known to the world. Since that day, I've been stressed and having strange nightmares. Damn it… I want to sleep well! I’ll do my best!"
source: Egoist Bible 2
#blue lock#isagi yoichi#bachira meguru#chigiri hyouma#gagamaru gin#nagi seishirou#itoshi rin#barou shouei#mikage reo#karasu tabito#shidou ryuusei#yukimiya kenyuu#otoya eita#hiori you#niko ikki#nanase nijiro#kurona ranze#kiyora jin#igarashi gurimu#aryuu jyubei#tokimitsu aoshi#raichi jingo#ego jinpachi#anri teieri#ishikari yukio#hiiragi reiji#character: all#trivia#our translation
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I wanted to create a version of Frara/Squeezo in your style (which I really like) along with a possible form for the Dark World. I’ve made three versions of the same drawing, but now I don’t know which one to choose, so I’d love your opinion or advice as an artist. (I draw on physical paper because it’s easier for me that way.)
There’s not much to say about the "Light World" forms; I simply took the sprite of Frara/Squeezo and adapted it into a drawing. There are a few differences, but I’ll briefly mention them:
The color of the fringe changes: in the first version, it’s rainbow-colored because I thought it looked nice; in the second, it’s gray as a sort of contrast to the first one; and finally, in the third, it’s red, like the classic fringe of Kris and Frisk.
The color of the pants and socks, some details of the sweater, and the hairstyle also change. Lastly, in the third version, there’s a visible eye (to avoid making it look too much like Kris) and a kind of pseudo-nose (which I’m not sure came out well).
The Dark World forms are more interesting:
In the first version, I was inspired by a simple knight, and I used all the colors I had available, thinking it would look good that way. The skin is gray to resemble a doppelgänger in fantasy games (since Frara/Squeezo is a kind of "double" of Frisk/Chara).
The second version, on the other hand, is inspired by a dark wizard (it seemed cool), with white and gray hair. The cape resembles Chara’s shirt as a sort of parallel, since Frisk has a cape with colors similar to Kris’s shirt, and vice versa.
The third version is inspired by this image:
(Doppelgänger from Forgotten Realms).
In this version, I added a weapon, as I realized I hadn’t included one in the previous versions. If you’re wondering why I chose an umbrella as the weapon, it’s because I found this fan art during my research:
(Credit to: @Art-in-heart4va)
I thought it was a cute idea. Finally, I added a few minor details.
Bonus: If you’re wondering why there are red cross-outs on the drawings and why I scribbled on them, it’s because I didn’t want to ruin the drawing.
I tried to come up with a made-up name for Frara/Squeezo. In the first version, he was called John (literally the first name that came to mind...). In the second version, I called him Ulan (because it was the first name that started with “U” that came to mind. Why the "U"? Well, take the first letters of the names Frisk, Chara, and Kris, put them together, and you’ll figure it out (; ). Finally, in the third version, I gave up and still haven’t decided on a name for him...
P.S.: I’m sorry for writing such a long text, but these drawings are very close to my heart, and I wanted to specify every single detail.
Hi there! Thanks for showing me all this art and going though your thought process behind it. I couldn't help but cobble something together on my own, based on all these concept pieces. You might find bits from all designs in there. Also played around with the colors a little, because I do like me some color theory.
Anyway, I REALLY hope you don't mind! I don't wanna undermine your work!
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The Sword and the Quill: Chapter One
Pairing: Gwayne Hightower x Reader
In the weeks leading up to little Daeron's departure to Oldtown, Queen Alicent finds herself trying to entertain the unmarried ladies of court. As one of her ladies in waiting, you agree to an anonymous penpal in one of the men at court, and end up spilling your heart to him. He is your perfect match, your equal. The only issue? The Queen's brother Gwayne Hightower will not stop teasing you as you try to uncover who responds to your letters.
“Do you really have to give him to that brute?” you ask Alicent, bouncing the toddler Daeron on your knee. He’s much too old to be amused by a game this simple, yet he plays along, giggling and grabbing at your sleeves. You scrunch your nose at him, prompting even more laughter
“Now I’ve heard my brother called many names, but a brute is not one of them,” The Queen quips, sipping her tea as she wiggles her fingers for Daeron to take, “besides, Oldtown is beautiful.”
“Well I may be selfish,” you admit, “I want another of your little blonde angels to spoil.”
Alicent has to laugh at that, covering her mouth with her teacup. Angel was not the word most would use for her children. Aegon, while beautiful, is already an outspoken handful, a child of eight and already flirting with grown women; Helaena, sweet Helaena, is shy and gentle, seldom seen; Aemond barely can read yet, but is more studious than half the kingdom, already strong willed and stoic for a child; and Daeron, well, mayhaps Daeron can be raised without the proverbial crown and sword dangled above his pretty head. Despite this, you love to take them on walks and read to them and give them sweets or breads that their parents do not allow them regularly.
“The boy will be plenty spoiled in Oldtown, I assure you.”
Alicent lays a hand on your arm gently, and you stop bouncing the toddler. He looks up at you, mumbling in protest. She looks down at him, and then you, her face betraying a deep worry and sadness.
“I want to give him something other than what we have, and the other children are already in too deep,” she says, and you understand her perfectly. The Red Keep is beautiful, decadent and indulgent, yet at the same time dreary and often times suffocating. You’d been here for almost a decade now, chosen as one of Alicent’s ladies in waiting when Rhaenyra and the young queen fell out with one another. The Hand had told you that his daughter needed a friend as a young queen, and that it would be your duty to be that for her. Luckily, when Alicent is not praying, she is easy to love and converse with. You care not for the devout practices in the keep, but understand her efforts to cling to something to believe in. Your lord father had even sent your dowry here with you, knowing the crown would probably arrange a match for you instead of himself. There is every wine you could taste, every book you could read, every hue you could paint; and yet you are kept out of reach of anything beyond this place. Daeron is getting an opportunity not to be trapped here, like his siblings and his mother and you are.
“Yes, My Queen.”
Alicent pushes a tea cup towards you, leaning down to the window. It overlooks the training yards, where young knights take up sword and young ladies of the court watch if they’ve nothing else to attend to.
You lean over as well, bringing Daeron up to view the training yards too. You see most of the kingsgaurd and gold cloaks there, as well as the queen’s brother. He flips auburn hair arrogantly as he beckons another man over. Careless bravado, if one were to ask you. Women fawn over the sight, pointing and cheering for various men and their swords and skills. You don’t care to join them, not one for tourneys or sport or even the hunt that’s held for each of Alicent’s little ones. Travel, however, is something you’ve always cared for. The travel to and from a hunt, the travel that brought you here; cherished memories you’d yearn for more of. It’s something the men, even the tiny princes, take for granted. You suppose, one day, you’ll travel when you are finally betrothed, however you’re comfortable by Alicent’s side for now.
“How are you with written word?” She asks you suddenly, as if the thought just occurred to her.
“Had I been born a man, I could have been a writer,” you jest, looking down at Daeron thoughtfully. His hair already curls at the ends, like Aegon and their mother. He could be a writer, or a poet, or anything he wants. You cast a suspicious glance at the Queen, however, as she knows this. The Queen has been in your chambers, has seen the writing desk and extensive journals filled with poems and stories and notes.
“Pardon me for speaking out of turn, but what are you up to?” you ask. The Queen allows you frank words the King would probably have you sent away for, but there is always a chance that goodwill will run out. You aren’t exactly sure why Alicent allows you to speak so freely, but if you had to guess you’d think it would have something to do with her personal loss of the princess as her previous confidant.
Alicent sighs again, and looks away from you. You do not like the look of that.
“The King has requested I entertain the ladies of court in some way,” she reveals, and you have to wonder where her apprehension comes from.
“Like the ladies court Alysanne created?” you ask. She picks at her thumb, and it takes everything in you not to swat her nails away from her hand. It hurts, to think that she causes herself pain to relieve whatever concerns her.
“No,” she frowns, “Nothing serious, I was told. I think…”
She pauses, and looks down at the courtyard again before continuing.
“Have you noticed what’s taken place the last few feasts Viserys held?” she asks, her eyes no doubt following her brother’s sparring. A lot of nothing, if you were being honest. The same three dances, the same cliques talking in hushed voices. You would not consider the recent feasts to be an entertaining occasion.
“You mean nothing?” you snort as you lean back in your chair.
“Exactly.”
“Are you planning on playing children’s games to get people out of their seats? Or line dancing lessons so the lords stop stepping on my feet?” you are only half jesting when you say this, your poor pinky toe bruised and stiff for a week after the last feast.
“No, darling,” Alicent lets a rare laugh slip through her voice as she speaks.
You look between the side of her head, and towards the training yard below. Suddenly, you have an odd feeling about this.
“I have devised a letter writing system. I think it would be nice if people could speak freely without their pretenses, so the letters will all be anonymous,” she pauses thoughtfully, chewing on her bottom lip, “I hope that if the lords and ladies know there is someone else at court with something in common with them, they will be more willing to be open. Maybe… I don’t know.”
Alicent falters, unsure of herself. You can tell this is the first time she’s talked through this plan with another person, completely unsure of it. But, it’s not a bad idea.
“Maybe…” you pick up where she left off, “Maybe it will help us find entertainment within these walls.”
Alicent beams at your words, nodding. There is truth in her idea, you realize. That perhaps even you are part of the problem. So easily had you just now even dismissed the women watching the men spar in the courtyard. It is important to have a queen who thinks of these kinds of things.
“Exactly right,” she continues, “I fear that I will be seen as a bad queen if I do not try to bring some life to this place.”
You try to comfort her, to reach out and clasp her hand in yours in a silent reassurance, but sweet little Daeron beats you to it, giggling as he yanks on one of her auburn curls.
“Will you help me?” she asks, and it is a double sided question, both with her plan and with the immense strength of a toddlers fist when they have something they want.
“Yes, My Queen,” you huff out a laugh as you give Daeron your index finger to grab instead, “I’ll write my first letter tonight.”
News spreads quickly of Queen Alicent’s idea, and already the Red Keep seemed more lively than it had since before Aemond’s birth. Everyone’s eyes seemed to be searching, every other unmarried person of the court their potential penpal. Who was yours? Alicent was already working on having Larys Strong organize each match. You could only hope it wasn’t someone like dull Jason Lannister or contemptible Gwayne Hightower; maybe it would be someone who likes travel and could show you maps and take you away from here at least periodically to see the rest of Westeros. Though truly, you know that you will make a puzzle out of this. To be surprised is not your favorite feeling. Maybe, you think with a small sigh of laughter, you will try to trick the men of court to show you a writing sample so you can compare it to the letters you will receive.
Your eyes shift as you hear loud voices from around the corner, men’s laughter carrying and bouncing off the walls. Immediately, you know it’s the men from the training yard. Already cringing internally, you attempt to steel yourself and ignore the banter.
The men boast of the women watching in on the training, pointing out how the lady of House Something would want to give favor to the Knight of So-and-So. They joke about the blush upon women’s cheeks, about the way they speak in hushed tones. What a joke, you think, that they can freely jape at the way that women express themselves. You’d read as a child how knights are supposed to be the most gentlemanly and gallant men in all the lands, about their deeds and generosity and kindness. Now as a woman you realize why those stories were considered a fantasy. You look down at your hands, twisting your rings as you attempt to pass the men without their attention or greeting, but then a voice cuts through the noise. Gwayne Hightower himself.
“Is cream the color of a maiden’s underdress or her sheets?” He laughs, gloved had pushing his auburn hair back.
“Neither, if you are skilled, I say.”
You balk at his words, loud enough that the knights do not care that a passing lady can hear. Your shock turns to a scowl quickly, ready to burst the bubble of chauvinistic confidence the green knight displays. Surely, you’re not unaware of the way that the knights and lords speak of women, King Viserys himself has said wildly offensive things even about Alicent while she is in the room while she must grin and bear it. But the fact that it is him, so handsome and confident and seemingly flawless, him who paints himself as the picture of chivalry and the epitome of a gentleman knight; him that says it so flippantly as if women- maidens- are but another tourney game to him that has your blood boiling.
“Ser Gwayne!” you call, not hiding the anger that seems like ichor from your tone. For a quick moment, you realize that as one of Alicent’s ladies, you should not be shouting at men in public, but you must follow through with what you started, you cannot bring yourself to back down. Gwayne, surprised, break away from the other men and turns, taking a few curious steps towards you as the other knights continue down the hall. You know what they must think, and blood rushes beneath your skin. Though the sun has gone down, it is still too hot.
“Does it not disgust you?” you exclaim as you cross the hallway towards him, unable to keep the thought to yourself, “The way you speak of women? And what if your sister were to hear?”
You stop as you land in front of him, not at all hiding the anger in your face.
Gwayne smirks, face twisting arrogantly, and leans in close. Not too close that it’s improper, but close enough that the conversation does not walk.
“Then it is good it is not my pious sister, yes? Just her pretty, aggravating little shadow with a free tongue.”
He leans back, as if to mark a victory against you. The sunlight wanes, its setting orange casting a glow that seems to make the sweat upon his brow shimmer. You do not scoff at his words, for in truth the jester has said far worse. To scoff or show anger would be to let him win. But he is wrong perhaps, as his sister
“Aye, and I’m sure everyone would be the better if yours were sewn in place, Ser.”
He winks, and starts to walk back towards his fellow knights.
“I am sure you would do it for me!” he calls over his shoulder, a far enough distance that you cannot respond. Effectively, gaining the last word. You cannot believe that Alicent would send her youngest son to live with… that.
You curse under your breath, your smile not at all reaching your eyes as you keep walking. Anything to put space between you and over confident knights. The stone floors clack under your low heels, echoing in now silent halls as you reach your chamber. They are not far from the royal chambers, so in case that Alicent would like to call upon you easier. This was also the doing of her father The Hand. You look to the ornate doors down the hall from your own, and sigh deeply. Perhaps it is the young queen’s loneliness that makes your desire to leave all the more remarkable. You do not envy her, you think, despite her children you love dearly; And you push open your own door, to the lovely apartments you’ve been given. For a cage, you do like the way this one’s been gilded. Lush velvets and fresh flowers and bookshelves full of knick knacks and lots of natural light to ordain your space.
You debate throwing yourself down upon your bed, collapsing into the plush down and drifting off to dreams that do not include Gwayne Hightower under the same roof as you. But, you had made a promise. Instead you kick your shoes off and change into something comfy before settling down to your writing desk.
Dear Ser Lord
Dear Lord
Dear
You crumple the paper under your fist, not even letting the ink fully dry. The paper gets tossed carelessly behind you, another piece of parchment ready to go. You think to yourself, how to start this without knowing it’s intended? You tap the quill against your chin, staring out the window at the city below. You get an idea.
My Unfamiliar,
You begin, and yes, that feels right. You don’t know if he’s a Ser or a Lord, and you’d hate to miscategorize. You’d hate to sound too affectionate, or too cold. Him on the other end being your stranger feels a bit more… playful, a bit more unserious without insulting anyone.
How does the summer treat you? I would ask how you are spending it, though I fear that maybe that would be too forward. I understand these letters to be anonymous, and I would hate to ask you for clues as to your identity too quickly. Though, if you offer, I will accept them gladly.
I feel that this is an odd pretense to meet, or meet again, in this way. However, I cannot help but find the idea thrilling. I must introduce myself to you in a way that I have not before, in a way that does not immediately give away my identity. Perhaps, you may know me even better than
Your hand hovers for a moment, your hand having been ready to write ‘My Queen’ next.
my closest companions. I am a maiden of noble birth, as you already know. Yet, that is hardly all I am. I love my studies, reading and charting courses on maps. My hearts truest desire is to see the world I read about, to see more than the Red Keep, my homeland, and the site of a hunt. I wish to ride horseback through mountain ranges and by ship to Pentos or Essos. I wish to experience the food I read about in historical journals, even see some of the more exotic and unseemly experiences there are to travel. Amongst all this beauty, it almost feels wrong to want to see the world warts and all, but I feel I need to. I hope that you are a man that understands this desire, or possibly has seen some of this world and can tell me about it. Have you traveled? Do you travel often? Is the world as vibrant as I imagine?
I am a woman who enjoys the arts, tapestry weaving and writing of my own, though I will admit I find myself quite terrible at making music. I may dance to it, but I cannot create it.
And what of you, My Stranger? What are the things within you that you are able to share with me?
I apologize for the haste of this letter, however this concept is new of me. I am certain that within more time, my letters will grow in length as we get to know one another.
Sincerely,
Your Unfamiliar
You look over the letter, once, twice, three times, four; Finally, you decide that it will not be better written than this. Just the right amount of information, interest in your receiver, and you seal it.
You walk to your door, almost shaking, nervous as you peek your head out into the hallway. Luckily, Keely, one of Alicent’s dressers is in the hall. She accepts the letter easily, though you gift her an extra few silver anyway to ensure it gets to its destination safely.
Now, you wait.
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Character Friction: On “Asshole Characters”, or Shitty Little Guys.
A while ago I floated a few thoughts I had about “asshole” characters in the Indy TTRPGs community. I floated these questions because I had been listening to this interview between Klaus von Hohenloe of The Dungeon Newb's Guide and The Panic Table. In particular, Klaus mentions that some games don’t allow for player friction, and in games where this is the case (cough D&D cough), it culminates in a horrible experience for all involved.
To illustrate, I’m going to talk about some experience I’ve had with my own play groups.
Art from Last Fleet, by Vicentius Matthew.
It might be shocking to hear, but I’ve played D&D once or twice. I remember being in a campaign with two players who wanted very different things from that game. Player A wanted to bring their character on a deep emotional journey, while Player B wanted to act as strategically as possible in pursuit of their character’s benefit, often to the detriment of other members of the party. My own character wanted to track down leads to a mystery that mattered to her, but not really to anyone else. This often led to frustrating moments where characters might not communicate as much information to the party as they might have otherwise, and in other cases one character’s actions could pull the entire party’s journey off-course.
The three of us all played together in a completely different game, three years later - Last Fleet. Let me tell you, the character interactions were completely flipped on their heads. Player A got a dramatic emotional arc around an NPC who was integral to the main plot. Player B got to pursue their own agenda, often in ways that worked against the efforts of other PCs. As the GM, I was given tools that actually encouraged both of these moments: both pushing Player A to wrestle with their relationship and implicating Player B as a suspicious person very early on.
A basic move from Last Fleet.
There are a number of reasons this worked in Last Fleet and not in D&D. One, Last Fleet playbooks often encourage players to keep secrets, work against the benefit of the crew, and fuck up their relationships with each-other. Two, Last Fleet has something called the Pressure mechanic. This is both a resource and a time bomb: you can mark Pressure to improve your chances of success, but hit your cap and your character has to do something to relieve their stress - and that choice is usually rather detrimental to the ship.
Finally, Last Fleet’s a different kind of story. You’re not playing heroic adventurers fighting monsters and clearing out dungeons. You’re playing the last desperate strains of humanity, fleeing an alien threat that has the power to infiltrate your fleet and resemble the ones you love most. Last Fleet is all about how a high-stress situation can lead people to making poor decisions, and, should you desire, it can also be about how people are sometimes forced to rely on each-other in order to get through a harrowing situation.
When I compare these situations, I don’t think we had bad players at the table: we just had the wrong kind of game for the story that the players wanted. I suppose I haven’t necessarily played enough D&D to say that it can’t allow for compelling, flawed characters - what I like to call “shitty little guys” - but I certainly don’t think it’s a play culture that accounts for the diversity of player goals.
More to the point, I find myself really drawn to playing flawed characters - both with them and for them. I love my over-perfectionist superhero in MASKS who lashes out when her friends don’t meet her standards. I adore my Thirsty Sword Lesbian who doesn’t know how to flirt or how to process emotions. I’m having so much fun watching play-testers pick up their various monsters in Protect the Child and demonstrate each character’s struggles when it comes to relating to a kid. I think it’s fascinating that in Changeling: the Lost 1e, a Fairest is rewarded with a discount when they use their Contracts of Reflection to spy on people that they love.
Contract of Reflections, Equinox Road Sourcebook, Changeling the Lost 1e.
I’ve personally seen the most leeway for character friction in PbtA games, like Apocalypse World, Urban Shadows, and Apocalypse Keys. When I brought up the question in the Community post, I asked folks for other examples of playing Shitty Little Guys. Their interpretations were really interesting, and far broader than my initial scope.
@nebmia mentioned that by giving your characters “unpleasant” abilities, it will incentivize them to use those abilities in unpleasant ways.
@goblincow has a lot of thoughts about creating little guys who aren’t just horrible, but are also in horrible situations - which gives license for the players to endanger their characters in the pursuit of mischief.
@airkseablade brought up Tenra Bansho Zero, and how it uses something called an “Emotion Matrix” to randomly determine how a player character might reaction to meeting a new person, as well as “Fates”, which are goals that each player is rewarded for playing towards, but mostly based on group consensus.
@willknightauthor talked about Wraith: (The Oblivion?), and how each archetype available to players has a part of themselves that pulls them towards darker choices.
It turns out that we really like playing characters who are mean-spirited, greedy, and struggling to get what they want, and we have a lot of different ways to make that happen. It reminds me of a common piece of advice given to writers when they’re writing a novel - you want a character who’s flawed, because those flaws can be used.
In games like Trilogy or TSL, you might want those flaws because you want to see your character overcome them. In games like Mothership or Cairn, you might want those flaws because then it makes it easier to push your guys through a meat-grinder. In games like Hillfolk or Apocalypse World, you might want those flaws because you want to see just how much well-meaning or desperate characters can fuck each-other up, given the right circumstances.
So what’s the point of all this? What am I trying to get out of this?
When I hear stories about horrible players, the experience I’ve had at my tables makes me want to approach these “trouble” players with a bit of grace. Perhaps these “trouble” players simply want something that is a challenge to provide in a game like D&D, but in Mothership, Urban Shadows, Apocalypse World etc., they might find their choices welcomed and encouraged. And if you've found yourself being accused of being a "trouble" player because you like to a cause drama, perhaps these games might be more up your alley than you think!
Consider playing a game with horrible guys who suck today!
#mint speaks#indie ttrpgs#dnd#tabletop games#sometimes the experience you want is waiting for you#in another game#also thank you luka for embedding the phrase “horrible guys who suck” into my brain
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The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 1
Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.
Blog version
For the Prologue, you can find it HERE
⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 1)
“Excuse me!” A high-pitched voice reverberated through the dirt floor.
I took a look outside. A tiny shadow was just behind the open shoji door, obscured by the sunlight at his back.
“Oh, hey, what brings you here?”
The boy, who was probably around seven years old, wasn’t anyone I knew. Could he have gotten lost? I wondered. However, as I tried to approach him, the boy cast his eyes down and tightened his grasp on the sleeve of his kimono.
“Well, eh, well, Mister Upper Quarters…”
“I’m from the upper quarters, yes, what do you need?”
My big size tended to scare little children, so standing up in front of him was out of the question. I quickly knelt down, crouching until I reached his eye level. Meanwhile, the boy seemed to have finally found his resolve and raised his head.
“You see, Mister, we actually have a package for you. But nobody is home right now so… could you wait here instead?”
Huh, his parents probably sent him here, then. And what a cute kid he was, so desperate to repeat the message properly.
“I don’t mind. So, you’re here for an errand, right? Where did you come from?” I asked.
It was at that moment that the boy finally seemed to realize I wasn’t going to eat him alive. His body visibly relaxed.
“The lower quarters.”
“Oh, so you’re that couple’s son! You must be very brave to come here all alone from so far away.”
The lower quarters was a big, old house close to the old commercial road(1). It was, in fact, quite the walk to get there. The road was just one straight line, yes, but we had barely any contact. It truly wasn’t a distance a young child could easily cross on their own.
“I flew about half the way here!”
“Oh, that’s impressive! So you can fly already.”
“Just a bit.”
“And that’s still amazing. I’m Shigemaru, what’s your name?”
“I’m Eita.”
My conversation with the boy was soon interrupted by the sound of loud footsteps. My younger brothers had just returned, running at full speed.
“Shige(2), is that a guest?”
“Oooh, who are you?”
All being similar ages, it took no time for the kids to befriend one another. They spent the entire time until Eita’s family arrived playing without a break. From tag to spinning top, they busied themselves with any and all kinds of games.
When the time came, it was obvious the poor kid didn’t want to go back home. He had too much fun here, it seemed. So, as we were saying our farewells, I had an idea: I decided to give him a little present, a newly made spinning top.
“Ah, that must be your best one yet! It looks so much better!”
“That’s so cool! Shige makes the best tops, so you better treat it well!”
“...... Is it for me?” Eita’s eyes sparkled. “Really? Can I have it?”
He was oh-so-visibly hesitating. How nice of him, he was nothing like my brothers or the other village brats. I was bursting into laughter before even realizing it.
“Why so timid? Eita, you did amazing today even though it was your first time playing with these. So, take this and practice for the next time you come over. How about that?”
“Next time…?” Eita whispered.
My brothers immediately took it upon themselves to start a ruckus.
“Yes, of course! Nothing stops you from coming back if you want to, right?”
“Let’s play again! This doesn’t have to be the last time.”
“And make sure to bring the top with you next time. That way we can have a match!”
Eita’s lips curved into a big happy smile. He nodded enthusiastically.
“See you! Come over to play again.”
“You better not fail us!”
“I won’t, see you!”
I watched as, under the sinking sun, his tiny frame became smaller and smaller on his way home. Again and again, he kept on turning back to look at us.
That day was the first and the last time I ever got to see Eita.
⊛ ⊛ ⊛
It was a fresh and invigorating morning. The blue sky was that particularly soft shade unique to spring. No better day to take on a new step in life, he thought to himself. The gentle, bright sunlight poured down and the blooming cherry blossoms that stretched under him gleamed. To him, they looked like drifting white clouds.
As he flew through, enjoying the chance to view the flowers from high up in the sky, he started to see figures slowly walking up a slope. He also started to notice horse riders appearing from all over. Everyone was headed in the same direction: a number of temple buildings lined up halfway up the side of the mountain. The walls surrounding them were huge, their appearance imposing enough to subdue any would-be-intruders.
In front of it all there was a plaza, which stood right before what one could surmise was the main entrance. Some horses had even landed there already, he noticed.
——That had to be it.
Shigemaru turned beak first towards the plaza, gliding down as he grasped the very air with his wings. Then, just as he reached the ground, he applied force to his entire body. In a mere instant, his form went from that of a massive raven to that of a human. Dust flew around flung by his wings, which quickly turned into impressive-looking tanned arms. His three legs, all ending in sharp claws, also shifted into a pair of legs that were just as imposing. He flexed, as if making sure everything was in order with his muscular body, and took the wrapping cloth bag hanging from his mouth.
Shigemaru raised his head in satisfaction and found himself face-to-face with a group of boys, all shocked by the giant who had just come down from the sky. His fellow new trainees, he surmised. They were the people he would sleep and eat with for the following three years.
But, was there something they wanted to say? He tilted his head in a wordless question. However, the boys, who had finally come back to themselves, ignored it and looked away instead, setting off towards the entrance. Across the door, multiple long tables were placed all over. From the looks of it, they were doing the new trainees’ reception there. A group of adults, most likely administrative officers, were taking in the boys as they arrived.
“Your letter of recommendation?” one of them said to him as he approached.
They didn’t even give him a chance to speak first.
“Here.”
“Name and place of origin?”
“Shigemaru of Shimaki.”
“A recommendation letter from the Headmaster and the Township Lord. All in order.” The administrative officer confirmed the contents of the letter and scribbled something down in a form. “Then, please, first head to the lodging houses to your new personal room. There should be a senior waiting there to guide you, just follow his instructions.”
The officer offered him a paper that said ‘second building, tenth room’. The moment Shigemaru tried to pick it up, however, the man gave him a wry smile instead.
“...... Still, you got some guts to come up to the entrance in bird shape,” the officer said, surprise in his voice.
Shigemaru gave him a blank look.
“Did I do anything wrong?”
“Oh, not particularly. It’s not like there’s any rule about it, but the Court Ravens will make fun of you, you know?” the officer warned him in a whisper and, finally, let him pick up the paper. “You’re from a rural area so you may not realize it yet, but central nobles are all like that. If you’re aware of what you’re doing, I won’t stop you. Just be careful.”
Shigemaru didn’t really get what he had to be careful about exactly, but he could at least tell the man was talking out of concern for his well-being. So, a sincere show of gratitude later, Shigemaru took off in the direction of his assigned lodgings.
Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t help but to notice that the other boys who were, just like him, carrying their luggage towards their rooms were all dressed in colorful clothes. Yatagarasu like Shigemaru and the others could alternate between two forms, bird and human, but to do so they had to weave a feather robe, black clothes made from part of their bodies. Once generated, which required a conscious effort on their part, it would automatically shift into their feathers when they transformed.
Kimono made of silk and hemp, however, only got in the way when shifting.
It wasn’t rare for people to spend their entire lives in their feather robe, at least for those who struggled with money. However, and rather unsurprisingly, it seemed such people were scarce among the Unbending Reed Monastery’s young trainees. In short, he was already sticking out and he had only just arrived.
Shigemaru found himself standing there, scratching his head, when he caught sight of another person with the same all-black look in that expanding sea of blues and browns. There was no mistaking it, right over there was another newcomer wearing a feather robe.
Shigemaru immediately ran towards him and enthusiastically patted the boy’s back.
“Hey! You must be from the countryside, just like me, right?”
His fellow trainee, who almost tripped from the sheer force of the impact, somehow managed to bounce back and turn around to look at him. He was quite tiny for someone his age. The boy stood there looking at Shigemaru, mouth open and dumbfounded, perhaps taken aback by his large frame. He wasn’t only small, his features too were still soft and childlike.
“Ah, I know I may not look like it, but I’m also a newcomer. I’m from the Northern Region as well, so to be honest I don’t have any idea of how things work here in the Center. Let’s get along, fellow country bumpkin.”
The boy kept staring at him for a while, before finally breaking into a smile.
“What are the chances? I’m also from the North!”
“Really? I’m from Shimaki.”
“Taruhi. I guess that makes us neighbors,” the boy said in a polite tone.
He introduced himself as Yukiya. He seemed like a nice person, Shigemaru thought to himself. Especially with that gentle look of his.
To top it all off, Shigemaru got a look at Yukiya’s paper on their way to the lodging houses. To his surprise, it turned out they were to share a room. Both were in the tenth room in the second building.
“Oh, we are in the same room as well.”
“Now that’s just fate, isn’t it? Nice to meet you then, here’s hoping we get along,” Yukiya bowed his head.
“I hope so too!”
From there on, they talked a bit about themselves as they moved across the different facilities. After a short walk, they finally reached the dormitory rooms. They both went on to check the door signs, but Shigemaru was the one to call Yukiya over. He had found the room, and it turned out their assigned senior was even someone he already knew. Shigemaru truly felt lucky that day.
Their mentor-to-be, Ichiryuu, was what one would call the stereotypical modern young man. Both for better and for worse.
He used to have quite the rebellious side. This, on top of his eccentric taste in clothes, made the Township citizens worry quite a bit about him back in the day. However, it seemed like his time at the Monastery had done him a lot of good and turned him into a splendid trainee. He had quite the foul mouth and a mean look in his eyes, but Shigemaru knew well that there was an upright character hidden underneath.
At the very least, and from the looks of it, Shigemaru wouldn’t have to worry much about roommate problems for the following year. He let out a quiet sigh of relief.
However, upon seeing Yukiya, Ichiryuu immediately turned white as a sheet.
“W-What are you doing here!? You said there was no way you would come to the Monastery, didn’t you?” he shrieked.
“Oh, about that, you see, the circumstances have changed a lot,” Yukiya gave him a pained smile. His attitude was still impeccably polite.
In the meantime, Shigemaru just stood there, giving alternating glances to his polar opposite roommates. Finally, he tilted his head.
“Wait, did something happen between you two?”
“Oh no, don’t worry,” Yukiya replied with a smile before Ichiryuu—whose face was contorted beyond belief—could say anything. No space was left for arguments. “We are childhood friends, after all. Everyone gets into one or two silly childish fights in their lives. But we aren’t kids anymore, so there’s no reason to hold a grudge, right?”
At Yukiya’s question, Ichiryuu froze for a second.
“Y-yes, of course. Who would hold a grudge over something that happened so long ago! Let the past be the past,” Ichiryuu agreed enthusiastically.
Yukiya’s smile, on the other hand, slowly deepened. “That said, I’ll make sure to not overstep just because of our past together. Ichiryuu, I trust you to guide us well as our senior.”
Yukiya bowed respectfully, and Ichiryuu’s face twisted once more as if he had just seen the world end.
“...... Yes, fine with me… Nice to meet you again…”
After a long period of silence, Ichiryuu finally opened his mouth again. His eyes looked dead—like those of a fish stuck on land—for some strange reason. For a moment there, it had looked as if his soul was going to leave his body. It worried Shigemaru quite a bit, but, by the time they left the dormitory hall for a tour around the Monastery, it seemed like Ichiryuu had finally returned to his usual self.
“We wake up as the sun rises,” Ichiryuu explained, his tone oddly desperate. He covered the details of Monastery life as they walked through the premises. “When to wake up, plus the start and end of the lessons, is all indicated by the ring of the bell tower up there. You won’t have to worry about missing meals as long as you pay attention. Be careful with the ‘ambushes’, however.”
“‘Ambushes’?”
“They simulate emergencies, so they happen without any prior notice. The alarm bell could sound at any time, even during lessons or during sleep. When that happens, we are supposed to gather at the plaza in front of the grand lecture hall. You should bring your Ornamented Blade(3) in hand, nothing else.”
“Ornamented… Blade? What’s that?”
“This.”
With the swooshing sound of the attached crimson strap being unfastened, Ichiryuu took off the tachi on his hip and showed it to them. Upon further examination, it was much lighter than it looked. The scabbard was covered in black lacquer and the ornamentation was simple but exquisite.
“It may look like the real thing, but it’s just a very well-made bamboo sword. They’ll give you one soon, it’s what identifies us as Monastery trainees. As for the decorative jewels, Evergreens have black ones, and white is for Saplings. For your generation, I think it’s supposed to be green. You should keep it with you at all times and, no matter what, never lose it.”
It was part of their duties as trainees to return their Ornamented Blade to the Monastery when they left. Hence why, if anyone lost it, they were summarily kicked out no matter the circumstances. “If you manage to overcome the Trial of Storm and are chosen for the Yamauchi Guard, however, you’ll be given the real blade in exchange.”
After they thanked him, Ichiryuu returned the Blade to its original spot with practiced ease. “Once you wake up, there’s always morning training. We eat after that. Both breakfast and lunch are made for us, so you just have to go and pick up a tray but, once you’re done, you’ll have to clean it yourself. Seeds stay behind afterwards to arrange the desks for their own lectures.”
Lectures took up most if not all morning classes. After lunch, however, it was all practical courses. “As for the dojo, whoever uses them last has to clean them up. Dinner is prepared in turns by the different dormitory halls. Turn assignments are hung at the dining hall’s entrance at the start of every month, so make sure to check them out.”
Unless there was some sort of night training session, which wasn’t common, there were no classes after dinner. Did that mean there was nothing to do, then? To that question, the answer was no.
“You’ll be getting plenty of homework. Until you get used to it, expect to be very busy keeping up with lectures. You may even need to skip sleep. There are study groups, however, and some seniors organize training sessions on weapons that aren’t covered by our classes. You can join those once you grow comfortable with the workload.”
During the tour, Ichiryuu also showed them to the biggest hall in the Monastery. Deep in the massive room with wooden flooring, there was a huge altar, hidden away by bamboo curtains. Yamagami, the Mountain God of Yamauchi, was lavishly enshrined there. The ceiling, supported by endless pillars, was so tall that it was a struggle to look up to it. From there hung a sublime canopy of gold.
Initially, the Unbending Reed Monastery was a temple dedicated to Yamagami. It was the reason behind the luxury of its facilities and why its grounds were vast enough to include a swimming pond and even a grove of trees the trainees used for practical training.
Their tour went on until dusk, as Shigemaru and Yukiya followed Ichiryuu through the enormous premises. Once it was time, however, they headed straight to the dining hall, where most trainees were already gathered.
Huge containers full of warm rice and pots filled to the brim with steamed vegetables and chicken dumplings awaited them in a corner of the room. Following Ichiryuu’s instructions, Shigemaru and Yukiya each took a set of trays(4) and utensils from the piles lying alongside the wall and proceeded to fill them with as much food as they could actually eat.
The three of them settled down in a circle in an empty spot among the other chattering trainees. They clapped their hands, said their blessings, and finally started to eat.
The meat dumplings were so juicy they leaked when one bit into them. The oily liquid had a golden tint and tasted like glory, with a flavor only achievable by boiling in large quantities. It was delicious, and Shigemaru simply couldn’t have enough of it: he had flown the entire way to the Monastery, after all. He devoured all his food with great enthusiasm, aided as he was by his empty stomach.
It all happened once they were putting aside their trays after dinner.
A group of seniors, most likely Evergreens given their apparent age, suddenly came in with a bunch of packages in hand. From them came the unmistakable, delicious aroma of sake. Apparently, it was tradition to hold a welcome party for the newcomers and so they had taken it upon themselves to go out to buy the alcohol and appetizers.
The seniors took care of all the preparations, setting up the entire party and refusing any help from some offering newcomers. The Evergreens busied themselves with hearing out some very nervous new arrivals as the Saplings efficiently moved around the room and made sure to distribute everything.
Finally, once everyone had a cup of sake in their hands, one of the Evergreens stood up to talk, aided by a push on the back from a friend. “To all newcomers, congratulations on joining the Monastery. We welcome you! There won’t be any time for fun from tomorrow onwards, so it’s our wish for you to enjoy the atmosphere at least for today.”
“However, you’ll have an awful time tomorrow if you get actually drunk! Be careful if you aren’t used to it.”
“There’s no way you can get drunk from this little.”
“Now, now. Don’t be spoilsports, let them drink all they can!”
Despite the constant interruptions from the sitting Evergreens’ banter, a toast followed soon after and, at last, everyone got to enjoy their drinks. Shigemaru, who had promptly finished his cup in one go, busied himself with chatting with his fellow newcomers and the seniors in his immediate area.
However, just a while later, the newcomers’ self-introductions started in earnest.
By that point, most were sober or slightly drunk at most, but a few were already wasted: their faces were completely red and they were incapable of properly articulating anything. The mood was quite good thanks to the sake, so laughter often found itself mixed in between the newcomers’ attempts to share their names, places of origin and reasons for joining the Monastery.
As soon as they were done, they returned to their seats with a bow and, immediately after, another newcomer close by would stand up to take their place.
“I’ve been assigned to the tenth room, second building. I’m Yukiya and I’m from Taruhi in the North.” Finally, Yukiya’s turn came. The boy, who had been sitting beside Shigemaru until that point, spoke without any hesitation. “My uncle used to be part of the Yamauchi Guard, so I’ve heard all about how hard the training here is ever since I was a little kid. I don’t know whether I'll be able to keep up, but I’ll do my best. Pleased to meet you all.”
As far as self-introductions went, Yukiya’s truly was the very epitome of average and unremarkable. An unenthusiastic applause followed it, after which Yukiya tried to sit back down with him. But, at that moment, someone else raised their voice.
“Wait! What about your reasons for joining the Monastery?” the boy outright protested, oddly enough.
The one who spoke out was a boy with reddish brown hair, and Shigemaru couldn’t help but gasp when he saw his face. He was incredibly handsome, with the kind of looks you rarely if ever saw back in the countryside. To Shigemaru, it was like having the chance to admire some rare unusual creature in the wild.
Yukiya, however, faced the other boy without giving any hint of being surprised or impressed at all.
“Well, I don’t really have a reason worth mentioning, you see. My only desire is to become a splendid Guard and work to protect Yamauchi.”
“To protect Yamauchi? Is that truly all there’s to it?” the boy asked once again, plain incredulity painted all over his stunning face.
Seemingly unbothered by the strange demands, Yukiya visibly blinked.
“...... Excuse me, may I know who you are?”
“My name is Akeru. I’m Akeru of the Western House.”
The instant the red-haired boy introduced himself, gasps of surprise filled the dining hall in what quickly developed into a ruckus. So that’s him! they whispered to each other. Even Shigemaru, an authentic country bumpkin, knew just how powerful and important the Western House was even within the nobility.
In practice, the lands of Yamauchi were governed by the Four Houses, the highest ranking of the noble families. The Eastern, Southern, Western and Northern Houses each had control over the territory in their respective cardinal direction. They were said to descend from the First Golden Raven’s four children. Any member of the aristocracy, and this included the Center nobles, who held power in the Imperial Court had sworn allegiance to one of them. There were virtually no exceptions to this rule.
Akeru, as a scion of the Western House, one of these powerful families, therefore held one of the highest ranks among any young boy in the entire country.
“Oooh! So you are the oh-so-famous favorite of His Highness Wakamiya,” someone else interrupted in a mocking tone.
Shigemaru turned his head in the voice’s direction. There was a senior reclining arrogantly, surrounded by his followers. Despite being a Sapling, he had remained seated the entire time, even as others worked tirelessly to organize the party.
He was not Akeru, that much was certain, but he still had a beautiful face. His features were noble, unified by a nicely-sculpted hooked nose. His shoulders were wide and he was noticeably taller than his fellow Saplings, with unusually long arms and legs. Despite his above average looks, in his eyes was blatant contempt towards others, which made him the kind of man that most don’t want to get involved with.
“And you are?” a perplexed Akeru asked.
The senior’s eyes glistened in defiance. “Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana.”
In response, Akeru let out a small ‘oh’, as if that had just explained it all. His eyes turned to pierce back at Kimichika. “Your reputation precedes you.”
“I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but here I’m your senior. So you better be careful when opening your mouth.” Kimichika stood up, all puffed up, and returned Akeru’s gaze with arrogance. “I cannot care less whether you were Wakamiya’s close aide or whatever, and it doesn’t even matter here. You’ll have a bad time if you keep up with the big attitude.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Oh, if that’s how you want to take it, for sure. I mean, Wakamiya? Imagine being scared of that simpleton.”
“You can say whatever you want about me, but I won’t tolerate any insult to His Highness,” Akeru frowned and, all of a sudden, turned towards Yukiya. “What are you just standing there for? Shouldn’t you be saying something too, Lord Yukiya?”
Yukiya, who had so far been watching them with concern on his face, was rather confused. He obviously didn’t expect to be brought into the conversation. “Erhm, excuse me? I don’t really get what this entire conversation is all about, you see, so it’s not like I have much to say…”
His floundering, however, did little else than deepen Akeru’s frown.
“....... You realize he’s insulting His Highness Wakamiya, right?”
Yukiya remained silent, yet something about him changed the very moment he heard that question. Deep annoyance burned deep within his eyes. He had an answer, Shigemaru realized, but that didn’t mean he wanted to give it.
And so, Shigemaru couldn’t bring himself to stay out of the conversation any longer.
“Well, no matter how much you ask, people like us won’t have much to say about that.”
In a second, the entire room turned to stare daggers at Shigemaru. Why are you opening your damn beak, you ignorant fool?
“Nice to meet you, my name is Shigemaru. I share rooms with Yukiya and, like him as well, I’m from the Northern Region,” Shigemaru stood up and soon placed his hand on a shocked Yukiya’s shoulder. “My turn wouldn’t come no matter how long I waited, so I’ll take it nevertheless. Much like my friend here, I came to the Monastery with the goal of protecting Yamauchi and, as someone with similar circumstances, I must say that answering Lord Akeru’s question is impossible.”
Shigemaru’s tone was joking, and Akeru was left at a loss. “Why?”
“I mean, it’s not like us country bumpkins have even had the chance to meet those in the Imperial Family. You can’t judge a Yatagarasu you haven’t even met, at least not from what others say about them.”
Akeru was speechless, and he wasn’t the only one. Kimichika too seemed to have been caught off-guard by Shigemaru’s carefreeness as he muttered., “And who do you think you’re going to swear fealty to when you graduate?”
“I don’t even have a way to know that, do I? That’s a problem I’ll face three years from now,” Shigemaru laughed nonchalantly. “And, before that, I have to work hard to become strong and skilled enough to even be chosen for the Guard. I’ve heard our destinations are chosen according to our results, so I don’t know who I’ll be serving among the Imperial Family. Not like I care about who or where I serve as long as I can work for Yamauchi.”
Shigemaru’s argument was truly the simplest thing ever, yet it silenced the entire hall for quite a long while. Finally, someone broke into long-held laughter, an Evergreen who had been limited to listening until then. Just like that, the tense mood dissolved into nothing.
“Now, now, he actually got a point there. I’m with Shigemaru!”
“Looks like this year we got a new fun guy!”
“Kimichika, go back to your seat. We got sake for once, let’s not ruin it,” another Evergreen soon intervened.
Kimichika, who had been looking at Shigemaru with venom in his eyes, reticently closed his mouth. Akeru too decided to back off. He was obviously displeased with how everything played out, and his followers were busy trying to appease him.
Once the self-introduction picked up again and everything was back to normal, Shigemaru sat back in his original spot.
“Thank you, Shige(5),” Yukiya whispered to him.
“Don’t worry about it,” Shigemaru waved his hand as if it was nothing.
Finally getting to relax, he extended his hand to get himself a snack. However, right at that moment, Ichiryuu returned to their spot with a scowl.
“You two, come with me now.”
Immediately, Ichiryuu dragged them both out of the dining hall.
Their destination was, apparently, the Monastery’s bathhouse.
“Now this is the best!”
“It’s truly nice, isn’t it?”
It was, in fact, the biggest one Shigemaru had ever seen. Yukiya and he had finally gotten inside the bathtub, both relishing the chance to relax, when Ichiryuu brusquely opened the door from the washing area.
“Just how happy-go-lucky are you two!?” he yelled at them as he came in. “Why do you think I went through the trouble of dragging you two out of the party!? Because the Evergreens told me to!”
Ichiryuu kept on ranting, not even giving them a chance to answer. “They warned me: ‘make sure to teach them fast, before they end up starting something worse!’ That scared me shitless!”
“Did we even have an option? I didn’t start it, you know, that young lord of the Western House came after me,” Yukiya protested, clearly fed up with the entire situation.
Ichiryuu quickly recoiled at that, switching targets. “What about you, Shigemaru!?”
“Shige was just trying to help me. He knows nothing about Imperial Court politics, what other option did he have? Besides, I wonder: is it truly right for you to go and blame him for helping when you didn’t even try? Huh, Sapling Ichiryuu?” Yukiya attacked back, all prickliness.
Ichiryuu’s only answer was a pained groan. This was clearly escalating.
“..... Did I mess up anything?” Shigemaru asked meekly.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Despite the dark environment, he could still feel Yukiya softly laugh. “It’s all just worthless Imperial Court power struggles.”
Huh, thinking about it, why does Yukiya know so much about that sort of thing? Shigemaru wondered. Yukiya seemed to notice it.
“Well, you see, to be honest,” he explained to him as he scratched his head bashfully, “I didn't really explain myself properly before, but I’m, like Ichiryuu, the son of a Township Lord. Taruhi’s second son, to be more precise. On top of that, I was on Court service until not that long ago.”
“Oh, so that explains it!”
Yukiya’s demeanor was strangely sophisticated for someone from the countryside, so it all made sense to him. The feather robe may have initially misled Shigemaru, but Yukiya was still a nobleman. A rural one, but a noble nevertheless.
“Now, talking about that, you are probably way better suited than me to explain this entire mess to him. Will you?” Ichiryuu suggested.
“Fine then,” Yukiya repositioned to face Shigemaru, “Shige, do you know anything about the inheritance conflict from 10 years ago? The one to decide who would take the position of the Crown Prince: His Highness Wakamiya or his older brother—Lord Natsuka.”
Yukiya fully shifted into explanation mode. In answer, Shigemaru just shook his head.
“Just rumors, not any details.”
Until very recently, people in the Center fought over who should inherit the throne and become the next Golden Raven: the elder or the younger brother. That much he had heard about, as it was a Yamauchi-wide problem. That aside, he only knew that, at some point, they had settled on Wakamiya as the future Golden Raven.
“But, well, the rumors at least said that the imperial brothers really didn't get along…….”
“Oh, that's not true, actually. This may sound strange, I know, but their relationship is actually excellent. I would dare even say it’s the opposite: Lord Natsuka is a surprisingly dedicated and loving brother as far as I’ve seen.”
Just as surprising was Yukiya’s way of speaking, it was as if he knew them both personally. He went on to tell Shigemaru the actual reason the Court settled on Wakamiya as the Crown Prince, despite the Imperial Family upholding primogeniture: it was all Animiya's doing.
“For starters, the reason His Highness Wakamiya became the Crown Prince in the first place was because the imperial priests declared him a ‘True Golden Raven’.”
The Golden Ravens were the leaders of all Yatagarasu, and were further divided into ‘Acting’ and ‘True’ Golden Ravens. Within those two categories, ‘True Golden Ravens’ were said to be born rulers, possessing everything and anything they would ever need to govern Yamauchi. When one was born, he got to inherit the throne regardless of birth order or his mother’s station.
Only in the absence of one was the eldest brother to take over the position as a replacement. Those who ruled in their stead were therefore referred to as ‘Acting Golden Ravens’.
“We call both Golden Ravens, but you could say that the rightful ruler, the True Golden Raven, and his Acting replacements are entirely different figures. It was the priests who determined that His Highness Wakamiya was, in fact, a ‘True’ one.”
“Wait a moment,” Shigemaru said, hand on his forehead. “In short, that means the older brother gave up his position as Crown Prince to his younger brother because of his status as the ‘True’ Golden Raven, is that correct………?”
“Yes, exactly.”
According to Natsuka himself, to have a replacement was pointless when the real one existed. He was a just man and had never been the ambitious sort to begin with, so Natsuka had been perfectly content giving up the position to his brother once he knew he matched the legends.
However, not everyone was happy with his decision.
“Oomurasaki no Omae, the Empress, couldn't bring herself to accept that—she's Lord Natsuka's mother, you see. She's the legal wife and hails from the Southern House. Meanwhile, His Highness Wakamiya's mother was a concubine from the Western House.”
A long, long time had passed since the last time a ‘True Golden Raven’ had even been born, a fact that played a key part in the Southern House's adamant refusal to accept the situation. On the other hand, the Western House welcomed this development with open arms. Hence, the Imperial Court was divided into the Wakamiya Faction and the Animiya(6) Faction, even though it went against Natsuka’s own wishes.
“The South supports Animiya and the West, Wakamiya. This is why they are opposed to each other and, for some reason, it seems like their conflict is affecting even a place like the Unbending Reed Monastery. Did I get that right?”
Yukiya gave a pointed look to Ichiryuu, as if fishing for information.
“That’s right, yes,” a clearly exhausted Ichiryuu replied, “I think you have realized this much already, but Kimichika is a South-affiliated Court Raven.”
“And Akeru is a scion of the Western House, remember? So, Kimichika belongs to the Animiya Faction and Akeru to Wakamiya’s.”
“Argh, what an annoying mess!” Shigemaru exclaimed.
Maybe because of the sudden explanation, but he couldn't make any sense out of it. “So, let’s put it like this. There is a wife and her son, who is his father’s heir. Said father owns a lot of fields, but he cheated on his wife and secretly had a lover and yet another son somewhere else. This second son is truly gifted, however, so the legitimate heir wants to give up the fields to his brother. The wife absolutely refuses, and so her family and the lover’s family have somehow also gotten involved and it's all a complete mess. Did I get it right?”
For a second, Yukiya and Ichiryuu stood there in complete silence.
“That’s quite the way to put it…”
“It is, yes… but he is not wrong, really. So, using Shige's metaphor, Kimichika belongs to the wife's family, and Akeru to the lover's.”
“Good. I finally got it,” Shigemaru said.
“Now, whatever you do, avoid both of them as much as you can,” Ichiryuu insisted. “They’ll only give you trouble. To not approach what you can avoid is wisdom.”
“I have to agree. As long as they don't come after us, it's probably better to give them a wide berth,” Yukiya added.
“Well, now that this matter is resolved, I'm getting out of here. I can't believe you two are here like it’s nothing.” As Ichiryuu said that, he stood up with a stagger. It was only upon watching him go that Shigemaru realized that he himself was also entirely covered in sweat.
Refreshed after their bath, they all returned together to their shared room. In preparation for the following day, they started to set up the room as soon as they arrived. A worn-out screen, covered in repair marks, was soon placed in the center of the room, dividing it in two halves. The one further back was for Ichiryuu, while Shigemaru and Yukiya shared the half facing the entrance. Their futons, thin from much use, were all piled together in a corner. The three of them chatted as they arranged them.
After a while, the conversation turned back to their reasons to come to the Monastery.
“I also wanted to ask you about it, actually. Especially you, Yukiya,” Ichiryuu peeked through the screen. “I completely missed the chance to ask you earlier. You said that you didn’t want to ever come to the Monastery, didn’t you?”
Ichiryuu gave him a sour look as he said that. Shigemaru, surprised by the revelation, also turned to look at Yukiya, who shrugged bashfully.
“That’s true, yes. I once thought I would actually die if I ever joined the Monastery, and that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the training. I hated the idea so much, in fact, that I chose to go to the Court over the Monastery when that choice was forced upon me.”
“Then, why did you even come here?”
“I couldn't remain a spoiled child, not after last summer.”
‘Last summer’. Shigemaru and Ichiryuu both instantly straightened their faces.
“...... When the ‘Monkeys’ attacked,” Ichiryuu muttered.
Yukiya nodded, silent.
Unimaginable fear assailed all the Yatagarasu in Yamauchi that summer. The incident took place in small border settlements: Monkeys attacked and murdered all inhabitants. There were no survivors in any of them. At first, nobody knew why they did it or where they had come from. However, it soon became clear that their Yatagarasu victims were nothing more than food to their assailants. Those giant Monkeys had assaulted their villages to eat them.
Legends said that Yamauchi was protected by a barrier created by Yamagami, the God of the Mountain. They had never before suffered any kind of outside attack because of it. These unprecedented events shook everyone in Yamauchi to their very core.
The Imperial Court frantically searched for the Monkeys’ invasion route. A while later, they found out about ‘passages’ in the barrier that had, most likely, allowed the Monkeys to enter Yamauchi. Once they successfully blocked them all, the Imperial Court released an official announcement declaring the problem solved: the Monkeys wouldn’t ever be capable of returning to Yamauchi.
“However, those are simply the central nobles’ vain, silly hopes,” Yukiya argued, not mincing any words in the process, “‘For now, we have closed every hole we have found, so it would be nice if the monkeys don't ever return’. That's all it amounts to. Apparently, their aim was to keep the population calm and avoid an even bigger upheaval, but that way you only get them to lower their guards and ruin their chances at self-defense. To declare everything solved haphazardly like that just hurts us in the end.”
Yukiya’s irritation was palpable as he spoke. He seemed to be extremely bright, which made for quite the contrast with the easygoing, head-empty attitude he had kept up until that moment.
“Oh, I see now, so that's what you meant by ‘protecting Yamauchi’! You too came here to fight off the Monkeys, then.”
“Well, yes, that's the gist of it,” Yukiya answered Shigemaru before further adding., “We can't leave it all up to the Imperial Court, after all.”
As if he had just realized something, Yukiya then glanced at him. “Wait, ‘you too’...?”
“Yes. I came here for the same reason as you, really. I didn't really get to mention it earlier, but I was actually born and raised in Sazaki, Shimaki.”
“... Sazaki!” As expected of fellow Northerners, Yukiya and Ichiryuu’s reactions were striking.
“No way, by Sazaki, you mean that Sazaki, right? ——The one that the Monkeys attacked,” Ichiryuu whispered in horror.
Shigemaru nodded. Two villages were raided by the Monkeys: Sugou in Taruhi, and Sazaki in Shimaki. Compared to Sugou, where the entire settlement was annihilated, Sazaki had it slightly better: only one house, away from everyone else's, was affected.
Everyone focused on Sugou when the topic of the Monkeys’ victims came up, but what happened in Sazaki had been just as terrifying for the locals: they knew that, if things had played out ever so slightly differently, they could have been the Monkeys’ food instead.
“We called the place the Monkeys attacked the ‘lower quarters’.”
It was an old house and, from what he knew, originally the main building of an entirely different village. Once the old commercial route went out of use, however, their population quickly dwindled and, as time passed, only the so-called ‘lower quarters’ remained. They had recently become more or less self-sufficient, from what it seemed, so they didn't have that much contact with Sazaki’s other inhabitants.
“That summer, the Township Lord sent us a notice, asking us to confirm that everyone was safe in the area. I can hold my own in a battle, at least by countryside standards, so I was sent to check the situation there.”
What Shigemaru found in the lower quarters was a veritable bloodbath.
Everyone there had vanished. Endless amount of flies fluttered around as the stench of the horses’ rotting corpses, still trapped in the stables, filled the air.
The edges of the house’s hearth were dyed black. By what, he couldn't really tell at first glance. At least, until he found all those pearly white bones scattered all over the place. With them came the realization: those dark stains were what remained of a sea of blood.
He may not have been particularly close to them, but they weren’t strangers either.
However, at the moment, what had worried Shigemaru the most was the safety of that young boy he had just met the other day. He ran through the entire house, calling for him. Eita, where are you!? Then, in one corner of the house, he found it.
The wide wooden floor was covered in dark stains, as if ink had spilled all over the place. There, in the middle of all that blood, was one tiny, all-too-familiar spinning top.
——He wouldn’t ever forget what he felt that day.
Neither Yukiya nor Ichiryuu said anything. They must have noticed Shigemaru's odd silence, and didn’t press him for details. Finally, he sighed and gave them a bitter smile.
“So, well, that’s why I'm here.”
Shigemaru had been invited by Monastery associates over and over again, being asked if he wouldn't at least consider taking the entrance exams. He ignored them all, as he had never felt the need to do so. He truly believed that he could handle most anything all by himself. After witnessing the Monkeys’ massacre, however, he came to realize how truly naive he had been.
“So, you wanted to further improve your battle skills for self-defense, I take it?” Ichiryuu’s expression was severe, different from anything before. He seemed to realize how personal this was to Shigemaru.
“Not really,” Shigemaru denied. “No matter how much I train myself, it's not like I could do anything worth a damn if a large number of Monkeys were to ever attack. Besides, learning that these ‘Passages’ are in the Center made me realize something. That, if I truly wanted to protect what I love, I couldn't just stay there, swinging around some club in front of my house. To be honest, it's not like I even know right now what I can achieve as a Yamauchi Guard either.”
But, at the very least, it beat staying home practicing with sticks. He didn't want to ever be in the position of picking up a bloodied toy with his very own hands. Not again.
“I truly couldn't stand the idea of regretting it all later. If something like that were to ever happen again, to find myself thinking——‘I should have joined the Guard’; ‘if only I hadn't been self-complacent, maybe, maybe I could have done something’.”
The realization came to him at the very last moment, a few months from losing his chance forever. He found himself quite fortunate for that.
“Yes, I get exactly what you mean,” Yukiya muttered softly, and yet, for some reason, his expression was one of pure, undiluted joy. “I'm so glad we became friends, Shige. Let's become Guards together, no matter what.”
However, Shigemaru couldn't really share Yukiya's optimism.
“But,” he looked up at the ceiling, “honestly, I was in the very last place at the entrance exams for theory courses. Can someone like me even graduate?”
The moment Yukiya heard that, he burst out in merry laughter.
“Don’t worry, I'll help you out! Theory won’t be any problem.”
—————————————
1: The commercial roads are the main paths that connect the Center with the countryside. A lot of big settlements are built around them to provide for merchants. Sometime ago, the “old” ones were replaced with newly built ones that followed another route. The villages reliant on them struggled and became smaller and much more isolated.
2: Shigemaru’s little brothers call him 茂兄, or Shige-nii. Brother Shige, but said in a very affectionate way, essentially.
3: The original term for Ornamented Blade is 珂仗 (Kajou). It’s a wordplay on 儀仗 (Gijou), the word for ‘ceremonial weapon’. 珂 is a kanji for ‘jewel’ that doesn’t see that much modern use.
4: These trays are actually 食膳, four-legged trays that were used instead of tables in ancient East Asia. Dining tables weren’t in use back in the Heian era Yamauchi mostly resembles.
5: The specific way Yukiya calls Shigemaru is 茂さん, or Shige-san.
6: Much like Nazukihiko is referred to as Wakamiya (若宮, or ‘young imperial’), his siblings have similar titles. Natsuka’s is Animiya, 兄宮, or the ‘elder brother imperial’. For consistency sake, I’ll be keeping all -miya titles.
#Translation: The Raven of the Empty Coffin#yatagarasu#yatagarasu series#the raven does not choose its master#karasu wa aruji wo erabanai
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GOOGLE SEARCH: HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DADS REDDIT
Lavernius Tucker and Oliver "North" Dakota are two single fathers forced to brave their most difficult challenge as a dad yet: making small talk with other parents. Not many survive this harrowing ordeal, but the bonds forged through this traumatic experience create lifelong friendships. Or, perhaps, even something more...?
A modern single dads Tucker/North AU written for @rvbrarepairweekdos Day 3: AUs. Warnings for discussions of sex/masturbation, but no actual sexual content.
I don't know why I wrote this, either. I don't even ship this. I suppose the wheel compelled me...
Also avaliable to read on Ao3.
***
“Sooo, uh, what do you… do with your time?"
“Oh, I’m a pediatric dentist.”
“No, I know that, I meant, uh,” This sucked. Tucker had zero things in common with these parents at this School for Gifted Children that had scouted Junior earlier this year. Most of them barely gave him the time of day, but this guy, Oliver Dakota, was insistent on staying the entire time his kid was hung out with Junior. After multiple false starts, Tucker shamefully ducked away for a second to look up ‘HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DADS REDDIT’ and found, “I meant, what do you do with your free time?”
“Oh,” North smiled warmly at the other man, then looked back to the door to Junior’s room. Left open a crack— he would have preferred it to be open all the way, but Lavernius had insisted the kids be given privacy. He seemed like a genuine and nice man, if a little awkward. North appreciated him and Theta being allowed into his home. Still, he wasn’t that interested in talking; compromising on the door meant he needed to keep a closer ear out for if Theta needed him. “I don’t really have much free time. With a kid and work, it’s like two full time jobs. But it’s all worth it for Theta.”
“Right.” God, this guy was giving Tucker nothing. Every single topic went back to Theta. And Tucker loved his kid, but being a single dad meant so much of his life was already dedicated to him. If he was talking to another adult he at least wanted to talk about something adult for once. “You gotta do something with your time, though. You into sports?”
“Haven’t really kept up with any lately. Theta was on the soccer team when they were younger, but we’ve decided to focus on academics in middle school.”
“Okay… Watched any good TV lately?”
“I mostly just catch snippets of whatever cartoon Theta has on.”
“……..Do you play games?”
“Oh, Theta had me join them in playing a little farm game— what’s it called, star, starting… ‘Starting Farming?’ No, no, it’s definitely ‘star’… ‘Starry Farmy?’”
“Stardew Valley?”
“That’s it! Do you play it? It’s very cute.”
“Yeah, uh, not, really my type of game. What about stuff you do without your kid?”
“Ah,” That was kind of a strange question. Most conversations North had with other parents were all about their kids— mostly trying to constantly one up the other’s accomplishments. To ask about things that he did without Theta? Why did he even care about that? “Well, I read alone?"
“Awesome! What are you reading?” Tucker didn’t give a shit about books, but he would grasp onto literally anything this dude was offering.
“Mostly child psychology books. Though lately it’s been a lot YA novels. I try to read things Theta is interested before they do so we can have discussions about them. And to make sure there’s nothing too inappropriate for their age.”
Tucker was stunned. This guy could not be serious. Was everything about his kid? “Don’t you do things with your friends?”
“Ahh,” North’s smile got a little tighter. “We had to move away from my hometown a few years ago; the schools there weren’t great for Theta, and then they got accepted here…”
“You haven’t had friends for years?”
“I have friends.” North was taken aback. What kind of person asked something like that so bluntly?
“But you don’t spend time with them.”
“I… see them often enough. When I visit home. For the holidays.” North didn’t know why he felt so defensive over this.
“Do you…” Tucker hesitated, not wanting to overstep with a guy he barely knew but also fucking floored at what this dude’s life seemed to be, “do anything for yourself that isn’t about your kid?”
North balked. “Of course I do! And, the- this question is flawed. Taking care of Theta is something I do for myself.”
“You can’t just only live for your kid, dude. There’s shit you gotta do without them.”
North twitched a little at the swear word. “There’s nothing I want to do that I would need to exclude Theta from.”
“What about sex?”
“SHHHHH!!” North panickedly looked over at the door, “Lower your voice if you’re talking about that!” He half yelled, half whispered.
“Dude. Does your kid not know about sex yet??” Tucker asked, not lowering his voice even slightly.
“Of course Theta knows what sex is!” North said, still whispering. “Teaching age appropriate sex education is incredibly important to a child’s understanding of their own body and safety. Theta knows exactly what leading child psychologists recommended an 11 year old knowing.”
“Okay.” Jesus Christ. This dude needed help bad.
North frowned. He could feel the judgement coming from Lavernius. Other parents always thought they could butt into situations that didn’t concern them. “I do not need your input on how I take care of my child.”
“I don’t care about how you take care of your kid, man, I care about how you take care of your you.”
“What?” North had no idea what he meant by that.
“Have you had sex a single time since Theta was born?”
“What?!” Seriously, how could he just ask something like that?
“You know what, not even sex. When was the last time you jerked off? Please tell me you’ve had an orgasm in the past decade.”
“This- this is a highly inappropriate conversation to be having with our kids in the other room” North had no idea how they ended up here, but he desperately wanted to move on.
“Not even once?”
“I don’t want Theta to overhear this conversation.”
“They’re playing a game, they’re not gonna hear, trust me. Kids don’t listen to their parents talking even when you want them to, they don’t give a shit what adults say to each other.”
“Theta listens to me.”
“Uh huh.” They needed to move away from the topic of their kids. Tucker needed to help this man. “Listen to me, man. I need you to do something for me.”
“What?”
Tucker grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. Or at least, he tried to. God, this man was way too fucking tall. And actually looking into his eyes— Jesus, they were piercing. Tucker didn’t think this kind of blond hair blue-eyed motherfucker actually existed. Terrifying.
“Tonight, when you go home, once you do whatever weird nighttime ritual you do to put Theta to bed,” Oliver started to make a noise in disagreement but Tucker pushed past it, “I need you to go to your room. I need you to be alone. I need you to get comfortable. And I need you to jack off.”
North had no fucking idea how to respond to that.
“Trust me. I have a friend, his girlfriend died, right? And for like a year afterwards he was so fucking miserable. Until one day I was like, ‘You NEED to blow off some steam, if you know what I mean. Bow chicka bow wow.’ Next day he was like a new man.”
“I don’t. know.“ North thought there were probably some other reasons his friend may have been miserable, there.
“I know, you’ve been out of the game, you don’t know how to find good porn. I got you, I’ll send you some.”
“I wasn’t—“
“I got you.” Tucker was already pulling out his phone, thinking of some good beginner porn he could send Oli’s way. “What are you into? You seem kinda vanilla but sometimes vanilla looking chicks are into the weirdest shit, y’know?”
“That’s— I don’t— this isn’t— I’m. Gay.” That wasn’t really something North tended to share with other parents, but they were so far outside of the kinds of conversations he tended to have anyway, any normal ways to respond had completely left his brain.
“You’re—” Tucker looked him up and down. Huh. Maybe he should’ve been able to guess that. “Uh. That’s fine. I have gay shit I can send you.”
“You have gay shit.” Right. Okay. North was pretty sure he just swore for the first time in years. What the fuck was happening?
“Yeah, y’know, I’m… uh, it doesn’t matter what I am. But I can get whatever you want.”
“Okay.” Okay. North’s brain was starting to catch up to where they were. Was Lavernius… flirting with him? Was this what flirting was now? He was so lost.
He should probably set a boundary.
“I… do not want you to send me porn.”
“Okay,” Tucker said, putting his phone back in his pocket. “You got it handled yourself?”
“Yes, I,” North let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, “I can handle myself.”
“Good. ‘Cause the shit you were saying before was sad, man. I know we barely know each other but, c’mon, single dads gotta have each others backs, right?”
“Yeah, um. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Tucker smiled at him.
North liked his smile.
(continued in reblogs)
#red vs blue#rvb rarepair week dos#lavernius tucker#agent north dakota#tucknorth#I FUCKING. GUESS???#rvb rarepair week 2024#theres a second chapter to this im gonna add in a reblog in a second. just ftr.#i dont know. i dont know.#why did i write tucknorth and not churchnorth. yknow. the ship that has literally taken over my mind.#i could not tell you#(actually its just bc i had an idea for a short oneshot whereas with churchnorth i have ideas for way way longer shit lol)#(cursed by caring too much about it. cursed by wanting to put in more effort.)
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CB FANFIC
First fanfic ever short tho 😔👊
UNO
(They are playing stacking numbers and draw until you get the right card or number. This takes place after Buddy meets Chase in irl. Order Prunella, Chase, Buddy, Deacon)
“UNO!!!” Prunella yelled out
“HEY YOUR CHEATING!!!” Chase called out
“What how??!!!” Prunella replied
“YOU WON 2 ROUNDS ALREADY!!! IF 3 GROWN ADULTS LOOSE AGAINST A KID 3 TIMES IT MEANS THE CHILD IS CHEATING”
“THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!”
“Uh- Yuh huh it makes sense like- what’s the property-“
“-Its probability” Deacon chimed in
“Yeah, yeah shut up Dorkin- so what’s the probability of a kid winning a game against adults 3 times in a row???”
“I think you’re just mad that I only have 1 card left and I two+ you.” She said with a bratty tone.
“Ugh! DEACON. BUDDY. We can NOT let her win again!”
Buddy rolled his eyes “just draw two cards already~” he said in a dragging his words.
Chase grabbed the two cards and Buddy put down a yellow. When it was Deacons turn he stacked a few numbers and kept the color yellow.
“DARN IT DEACON WHY DIDNT YOU CHANGE THE COLOR???” Prunella shouted
Prunella started to draw some cards but unfortunately she didn’t draw any yellow cards (or good cards) until her hands had 8 cards in total.
Chase had 5 cards in his hand, Buddy had 5 and Deacon had 6 cards.
Chase place down three cards down that had the same number and kept the color yellow. Then he put a smirk on his face knowing that Prunella doesn’t have this color. Buddy placed another yellow card and Deacon reversed it back to Buddy.
Oh? Buddy thought. As much as he loves Chase’s bickering with prunella, he wanted to get his attention too. Right now Chase’s attention was to get Prunella to loose but what about Buddy? Buddy wanted to bicker with Chase too.
He put down a 2 two+ and he changed the color to blue. (The first 2+ was yellow but the other one was blue so Chase got 4+ cards)
“W-WHAT??? BUDDY I THOUGHT WE WERE TRYING TO TEAM UP ON PRUNELLA!!! Also I called out that I didn’t have any 2+ cards in the beginning of the round WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS???”
“Um Prunella’s already loosing tho-“ Deacon tried to explain.
“DEACON THIS IS NOT BETWEEN ME AND YOU!!! ITS BETWEEN ME AND BUDDY”
“Honestly why would you call out you have no 2+ cards in the start of the round.” Buddy smirks at the frustrated smaller person.
Chase grabbed his 4 extra cards while staring at buddy in betrayal.
“Oh why thank you buddy!! Here I’m going to reverse it just so you can have another turn!” Prunella said sweetly.
“Oh why thank you Prunella!” Buddy responded
Chase put down 2 cards with the same number and the color changed to red.
Buddy didn’t have any red but after drawing 2 card he had a red reverse.
“Oh! A reverse! For you Prunella” Buddy returned the favor back
“W-wait when am I going to play” Deacon stuttered on his words a bit but it hasn’t been his turn for awhile.
“ I wish I didn’t reversed it to Buddy” Deacon sighed
Chase put down a red card then Prunella puts down a skip turn card to Deacon.
“OH COME ON PRUNELLA!!” Deacon shouted
“Oh prunella thank you once again” Buddy said is a cocky way
“See Deacon! That child is Eeevvviilllllll~ ALSO WHATS UP WITH YOU AND PRUNELLA, BUDDY!!! Are yall teaming???”
“Oh it was just a small partnership” Buddy placed down 2 cards.
“AH- HHAAAAA UNO NOW ITS GREEN!!!” Chased called out. He placed down 2 cards, one was a red 6 and the other was a green one.
“Oh, I don’t have anything deacon! I already wasted it on Chase!!!” Prunella exclaimed
“Don’t ask me kid- I got the sucky cards”. Deacon sighed
“It’s fine I got a wild 4+ card- I was saving it” Buddy proudly said.
“Ok then…” Prunella said as she puts down a green skip turn card.
“REALLY PRUNELLA???” Deacon shouted
Chase poked Buddy and asked “Wait what’s the other card you have besides a 4+?”
“Why should I tell you???”
“Because your gonna make me loose to a 5 year old”
“ HEY IM 8 CHASE!!! I. AM. 8.” Prunella fumed
“I have a green but I’m not gonna put it down cause I know your last card is that color” Buddy said with his usual purr at the end of his voice.
“Come on Buddy!!! Chase is just stalling at this point” Deacon assured
“Why can’t you put the green down babe?” Chase said tugging on buddy’s shirt a little
“W-wait what?” Buddy stuttered
“Pumpkin??” Chase tilted his head toward Buddy “Sweetheart???”
“Oh- this is so cringe” Prunella said looking away
“Buddy Wuddy???” Chase started to scoot a bit closer to Buddy while he tried to back away.
“Oh come on Prunella! Buddy’s not gonna fall for tha-“
“UNO OUT!!!!” Chase screamed
Buddy brought his knees up to cover his red face.
“WAIT WHAT?” Deacon questioned
“And yet you accused ME of cheating” Prunella leaned back throwing her cards up in the air
“OH YEAH!!! CHASE HOLLOW LIKE AND FOLLOW!!! BEST UNO PLAYER!” Chase bragged.
“Yeah- Prunella’s right you even accused me of cheating too and yet your here seducing Buddy like it’s not a form of cheating” Deacon crossed his arms
“UH DEACON- on the first round you literally stacked colors like- dude- who does that!!! That’s so cheating -actually its the cheatingest thing I ever witnessed!!!” Chase defended
“ SOME PEOPLE DO THAT OK CHASE???”
“People with no sense of mind” Chase scoffed
“YOU SEDUCED BUDDY!! HOW IS THAT NOT CHEATING???”
“ERM SEDUCING IS A FORM OF ART NOT A FORM OF CHEATING BESIDES ITS OK TO SEDUCE BUDDY HE’S MY BOYFRI-“
Buddy pulled on chases hood “Can we stop talking about how that brat seduced me!?” He tried to sound as menacing as possible while looking down at his feet.
*Sigh* “Their hopeless ” Prunella muttered
#cinderella boy#cinderella boy webtoon#buddy cinderella boy#chase hollow#cinderella boy chase#i’m not super big in the fandom yet#cinderella boy buddy#stargoth#webcomic#fanfic#chase cinderella boy#webtoon cinderella boy#prunella cinderella boy#deacon cinderella boy#deacon hollow
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Dude, my hatred for Sylus is truly something else. All I hear is how most people like him and that he’s hot and handsome and so much more. Hell even my friends who play the game gush over him and I’m just sitting here, looking at this man like. “Man I really wish I can just clock you in the face right now it would take so much stress off of me.” It’s not even hidden, anytime his face pops up on my screen I’m like: >:( AND ITS ONLY FOR SYLUS THATS THE THING. With Xavier I’m like, man I love this sleepy boi cause I’m sleepy a lot and naps sound amazing right now. With Zayne I’m like, oh he really cares just in his own Zayne way and I can relate to that. Hell even with Rafayel I just think he acts bratty but he’s slowly growing on me but for Sylus it’s just pure hatred flowing through my core.
Edit: it was brought to my attention by my bestie that the reason I hate Sylus is cause, and I quote her words, “You’re naturally a dom you fucking dumbass, you don’t like him cause he’s also a dom so you see him as a challenge. The other three guys at least seem to be easier to dominate. How fucking thick skulked are you?” And honestly yeah that checks out.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel
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everything they've said so far regarding the subject has been that they don't wanna breech that line and jeopardise their privacy. every night on tour they talk about the importance of privacy and even though its kind of their brand and we know you know, they don't want to go that far. they've said it so many times so I don't know why everyone always thinks they'll hard launch
I was gonna make a joke about TIT but it’s a spoiler so I won’t bc I don’t wanna have to tag this whole post lmao
but anyway lol I understand what you are saying, I used to think the exact same thing. But I also think in the past year since the gaming channel comeback things have changed. Like, a year ago, did you think they’d ever play a game explicitly made for couples at all, let alone play it without being all like “🤪 we’re playing it as friends 🤪”. Did you think they would tell somebody asking for breakup advice that they “missed the memo” and say they aren’t qualified to give advice on that? I also think it’s important to remember that what dan said in BIG (and phil said in one of his q&as, I think in 2021) about not divulging any information about their relationship was like, more than a couple years ago at this point, and before they brought back the gaming channel and entered into this new era. I know recently they have said “no that’s private ❤️” in that interview but that doesn’t really count because if they are going to hard launch they of course aren’t gonna do that in a random magazine interview
I also said this in another post (I think when I was talking about marriage hill 💀💀 lmao) but I think too that the way they have talked about keeping their private life private is very indicative of the relationship they’ve had with their fans and the internet as a whole. Dan said in BIG he didn’t want to talk about his relationships bc he wants to be able to fuck up in private, and phil said that he wants to keep that to himself bc it’s hard to close that door once it opens. Those are points of view that come from years of fans and other ppl alike constantly trying to prove this and that about you and your relationship. I don’t mean this in a disparaging way, because I think it was accurate for the time they said these things, but it’s a view that is formed by poor boundaries with your audience. I think it’s obvious (to me) that in recent years but especially the past year, they really have gotten a grip on like, how to create boundaries btwn themselves and their content, their fans, the general public, etc. because they are more in control now of their public image than they ever have been, I wouldn’t be shocked if some of their fears they had before have dissipated. I think now they’ve figured out to share what they wanna share and how to be like “no stfu” when people come digging for more
so that’s all to say, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if their opinion on being explicitly out about their relationship has changed, because even if they come out with that they’d still feel like they can control how much of it they share
(also let’s say theoretically they actually are for real getting married, that’s public info, so if they wanted to come out on their own terms (i.e. not have their marriage leaked) they would have to hard launch before it)
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They been dragging that family for 40 days and 40 nights.
So the Jenkins family is a family of 6 soon to be 7.
You have dad who bought 1 son from a previous relationship.
You have mom you bought 2 daughters to the relationship.
They have 1 child in common, pregnant with a 2nd.
2 able body adults and 4 kids under 11, 2 cats with fleas and a rash.
1 bedroom apartment. The kids sleep in the living room/kitchen on cots.
The parents sleep in the bedroom with a king size bed, ps5, overall very comfoy.
They wanted to go viral for being poor parents who are trying their best.
They actually went viral for being parents that aren’t trying at all.
List of problems:
- kids sleeping in the living room/ kitchen. Next to the door. On dirty as flea ridden carpet.
- no adult has jobs, he door dashes when he feels like it.
- no kids beds
- no money for clothes
- dirty living conditions
What was exposed:
- he has other kids and don’t wanna work because his wages will be garnished.
- the kids have had on going lice problems (she states they can’t get rid of them).
- he abandoned his first child at the age of 2 (the first baby momma exposed this as well as the court docs. The son is now 12).
- they have a breeding kink/fetish (they both stated on old videos they want to go viral to make more money so they can have more kids).
As expected the internet has absolutely turned on them as they should. Everyone is struggling rn but these two adults aren’t doing anything to help themselves.
The wife claims she didn’t know about his past but the first baby momma called her bluff and threatening to expose their text messages.
I want the kids taken. And I don’t normally like that option but those kids absolutely deserve better. I could be dirt poor but I would always make sure my child was fine.
You got money for weed, ps5, games and 4 controllers but couldn’t even get the baby clothes.
And why are the kids in the most unsecured part of the house. The parents should be on the living room on an air mattress and the kids in the room.
Get rid of the damm cats. As much as I love animals they do not trump your kids.
My prediction:
They will split. She will play the poor babymomma card. Other women will come to her defense and lift her up, which I’m very opposed to. I’m a girls girl but some of you bitches are really dumb. She knew he was a bum and was okay with it because she is also a bum. She doesn’t need to be uplifted. Her children do tho.
He will find another woman who will take him in because bitches are desperate.
The children will hate their parents when they are old enough to understand they got the shit end of the stick in life. As a child you think your parents are doing the best they can. As teens/adults you start to realize they didn’t try that hard at all.
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in my life i’ve had two farms in stardew valley that i’ve made significant progress in, one from when i first got the game when i was 14 or 15, and another from a bit later that i’ve kept coming back to for quite literally years now. in that first save, from when i was a young teen, i chose to marry sam, and in my current save that i still go back to i married sebastian, and quite frankly i do not have the heart to divorce him just to experience another character’s story even though i exhausted all his dialogue years ago.
anyway it’s funny that these are the two that i went for cuz honestly i like them better together. they’re good friends, they balance each other out, it’s the whole “you’re the only one in this town i feel myself around” thing. it’s cute, they’re cute, i know it’s not what stardew valley is for but i feel like i’d really enjoy fan content of these two being cute little boyfriends or something idk
#stardew valley#sambastian#is that their ship name? sounds like it could be#speaking of stardew it’s another game that continually reminds me how much i adore it every ten months or so#i don’t really play other games like it much#like i’m not much of an animal crossing guy and life sims don’t tend to attract me to them#but stardew is special#it’s one of my favorite games of all time#and every time i return to my old farm i feel a sense of peace and happiness#it’s beautiful honestly#sdv sam#sdv sebastian
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So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:
Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*
The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.
To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.
If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.
The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.
This turned into a really long ramble so:
You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but
You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…
You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…
When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.
You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).
There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).
There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.
At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.
At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).
She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.
(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)
You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.
They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.
You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.
And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.
And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.
And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).
#loz#tears of the kingdom#Link#Zelda#I will say also that I think part of the reason totk is special to me is very personal#like when it came out I was still struggling with the worst burnout of my life#I had had a few months of exhaustion between January and March and in May that exhaustion was still sticking to me#it was hard to get out of bed hard to do anything I felt so tired that I almost felt sick but I wasn’t sick#and the thing is Zelda games are my biggest special interest#and having a new one to play like genuinely I’m not joking it gave me bsck so much energy#I was doing really badly but when totk came out I played it for an entire weekend straight basically#and like my mom came to visit me and help me out with basic life stuff#and like sit with me while I played just like enjoying being together#and that was really nice#over that summer and the fall after I started getting to know someone I work with better#largely over conversations about totk at first#and they’ve become a good friend#(and become someone that I feel safe to be fully myself around)#and so I just have this really strong personal connection to totk#like I will not claim to be impartial about it#there are definitely criticisms that I can acknowledge#in particular I don’t like that they un-amputeed Link let Link be disabled#and also ganondorf’s characterization was shallow and one dimensional#and I’m sure there’s other things I could think of#but the overall narrative#including Zelda becoming the light dragon and then turning back in the end#I really like that#it felt like a narrative of healing to me#and playing it at the time that I did felt really healing to me too
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didn’t punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her he’d do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and that’s not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how he’s a big picture guy and it’s not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits he’d drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we don’t get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I don’t think Curly underplaying Anya’s trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isn’t his to bare like he can’t#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and that’s the problem really cause he’s just used to actually fixing it for him and it’s the case#this is the one thing he really couldn’t like I think he’s a good guy but he’s trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they don’t like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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I feel like the main reason this evil shanks theory is so prevalent (besides the private meeting the the gorsei which up even I can’t explain) is that his general cheeriness and lackadaisical disposition is more of a presented front, a mask to be slipped on and off at will which would be fine if he weren’t often put in the same boat as Roger and Luffy two people ( for as much as we know about roger) who have no masks at all.
Don’t get me wrong I’m pretty sure that Shanks is a naturally happy, good natured dude but he’s also the most politically minded pirate we have seen on the show (and some of these pirates were actual politicians) like I’m pretty sure Roger is more mature and secretive than Luffy ( makes sense he’s older and has seen more of the world) but with both of them you never get the sense that their silliness is something they are putting on for the direct purpose of making themselves less of a threat. They both can get serious when the situation calls for it but that feels more of an extension of their already established personality more than a hidden personality.
While with shanks it’s undeniable that something changed within him and his goals the day Roger died I don’t know if Roger actually told him something or if he just wasn’t dealing with the abandonment well it was probably a mix of both honestly. But yeah Shanks comes off as a guy with his ear to the ground someone who has schemes on schemes on schemes. he’s someone playing in the long run, kind of like crocodile but not nefarious. And when compared with a straight forward head first always kinda guy like Luffy, like he often is, he can come off a little suspicious.
There’s something that’s a little fake about his cheer, something a little too performative about his optimism and foolishness. I think it’s a mix of; he’s housing a deep sadness, he’s more of a realist that an optimist and also dudes just a pacifist unlike like luffy who loves to brawl ( like luffy knows when it’s better not to fight but he also loves a good fight) and he would rather deescalate a situation than fight it out and sometimes the easiest way to do that is with an air of cluelessness and making yourself seem less of a threat which makes it so much more jarring but effective when he reveals just how big a threat he is. but I can see why people think it’s suspicious.
(Interestingly even when luffy tries to emulate this behavior like when he first encountered Bellamy at the pub his plan is to just not react which while in the same vain is very different than Shanks actively playing the drunken good natured take it on the chin role for the bandits Luffy was still essentially himself he just refused to react while Shanks played a role which made it more terrifying and effective when he stopped)
Also it doesn’t help that until recently he’s largely been missing from the narrative with just a man echoing or a whisper here or there of how powerful he is.
But I think we should remember that Shank’s goal is essentially world peace. and peace, a true lasting peace, is just a little more of a precarious balancing act, than utmost freedom. For freedom you have to destroy the old game, for peace you have to learn to play a new one, hopefully with a bit more kindness injected into the foundation.
#he’s a schemer and people don’t trust schemers I get it#shanks is basically playing the game of thrones#except he wishes to abolish the system but he does understand that a new one has to take its place#preferably one where the strong protect the weak#which is much different from Luffy’s brand of selfish heroism that is very based on friendship#luffy’s a bull dozer while shanks is an architect#so they complement each other pretty well actually#red hair shanks#also the people luffy saves are his friends he loves them and treats them like friends#the people Shanks saves are just people he cares about their well being and doesn’t want to see them hurt#but it’s more of a sheep protector dog and it’s flock than the relationships built on pure friendships luffy forms#throwing thoughts to the void#all this to say taht I don’t believe Shanks is secretly eveil is going to be the twist I just think he’s a complicated dude#who gets grouped in a lot with a bunch of straight forward optimists#I think he’s just realized that Roger was waiting for something and so he’s waiting for it too. I think he’s only now really realizing that#that thing he was waiting for is Luffy.#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#red haired pirates#monkey d luffy#one piece#gol d. roger#gol d roger#monkey d. luffy#op#one piece theory#one piece thoughts#one piece world government#shanks op#straw hat luffy
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Indie ttrpg designers
We seem to be back in the “dnd sucks why don’t you just play Other Games (yours)” and I have a single question for you in return
Do I get to roll a d20?
Because I like the d20
That shape pleases me
I do not wish to roll a random amount of d6s or d8s or any of them other fuckers
I wish to roll the d20 because icosahedrons please me
I will also accept d12 but the other shapes all have less mouthfeel so if that’s what your game’s based on, it is not for me
I’d also prefer more than four stats but I’m not gonna lie it is the shape of the math rocks so like
Rec your d20 based indie ttrpgs friends cuz every single one I’ve opened is them little cube fuckers or the double pyramid and I Require Round
#ttrpg#dnd#so many people so close to super good points about the problems with dnd#and then they go ‘and as an indie designer you should just play Other Games (mine)’#and like. it’s a good point. it also very clearly underlines that you’re marketing via negativity and i’d actually really rather just hear#how good your game is? complaining is not an access point to my wallet#for real tho rec list this shit#indie ttrpg#i have Math Rock Requirements and also i hate d10s for no discernable reason#i don’t like the rest as much but d10s man. i just. i hate em#they are Bad Shape#skinny tutu bitches#not even good for caltrops#xoxo fuck you d10s#i get the math for probability and shit is easier on smaller dice but have you considered:#d20 shape good#and also d20 easily maths into 100 for percent calculations#which is why it’s weird i hate d10s they’re the only other dice that don’t Fucking Suck to calculate percents from#i know a 13 on a d20 is 65% bad#the fuck is a 5 on a d8#(it’s 62.5 but that’s my point fuck decimals)
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