#i don't want your attention

[umilily]

pls keep your fingers crossed for me that after finishing this course i will never have to talk to this dude who took it with me ever again, bc otherwise i'm about to do something drastic.

[misciaspossessed]

Hiding your scars so people don't ask about them ★☆☆☆☆

Showing your scars like they're not there because you refuse to be body conscious for somebody else's sake and to normalise it so people learn that showing scars doesn't mean a call for attention ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The four alignments of Tummy Hurt

[femmespoiled]

I kind of wish we could talk about racism in the community (rampant occurrence) without getting sidetracked, because it comes from all sides. I made a post about it and about the straight up fetishization we go through before and it blew up but to this day, I don't know the answer to this problem, aside from doing the work to become antiracist, which is constant work, not just "oh I'm now antiracist".

As far as white people are concerned there isn't one group better than the other, all of you have work to do, I don't care if you're lesbian, bi, trans etc, if you're white, you're privileged.

It doesn't make one group any less racist to say "what about this other group instead?"

As a person of colour I have a hard time feeling safe around any white person, because I don't know them, I don't know how they're going to act and I have my own experiences with all groups, really don't think that one is better than the other.

[ratuszarsenal]

very funny to me that every polish person who watched 1670 on here is writing posts begging non-polish people to watch it. including me.

[whollyjoly]

it's gon' be a long ride home tomorrow from tennessee to texas to la well if i could i'd never leave you i'd come home to stay another night from home away from you it ain't easy i know (baby, don't you want me)

the bucktommy cowboy au nobody asked for part three (parts one and two)

thinking about rancher!tommy who goes on long two-month cattle drives and dreams of the gorgeous cattle hand back home...

(song insp.)

[fuwaprince]

👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥

It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $

I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry

Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered

There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)

I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent

All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂

I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can

So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live

I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid

Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends

I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*

Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!

And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉

[aquanutart]

Nyaha~! Caught in my electroweb! ♡

[annoyingann]

is it cold outside?

It’s very cold at my house again and I needed to find some warmth

[ky-the-squiddy]

Every so often I come across people going on about 'queer is a bad word, I'm not a terf but we shouldn't use that word in community/academic/etc settings, don't call me queer' and just

Okay

You're not queer

I won't call you that, no one should call you that, and anyone that does is being an asshole regardless of their identity or minority status. It doesn't matter what reasoning you have behind not wanting to be labelled as queer, what trauma you may or may not have, what you've identified as in the past and present, and whether or not your preference just comes to not liking the vibe of the word for entirely inscrutible reasons. No one has any right to pry.

If you say you're not queer, then you're not queer, and that's okay.

It just also means that if I, a queer person, talk about the queer community, then I'm not referring to you. If an academic refers to queer history and queer texts written by queer people about other queer people, they're also not talking about you. If a corporation starts using 'queer' in their ads then they can eat shit because fuck 'em, they have no fucking right to use our words when they aren't and have never been one of us, but if a well-meaning ally uses 'queer' as a one-syllable shorthand for LGBTQIA+ in a verbal conversation, then there's no reason for you to get any more annoyed at them as you would if they used the word 'gay' instead.

You have every single right to be labelled or not labelled as you like, and I will stand behind you all the way. If someone is trying to shove 'queer' on you when you really don't want it? Then I will happily, metaphorically, deck them in the face for you. We are still family, whatever you choose to call yourself, and it's important that we stick together.

But

If you aren't queer, and you get frustrated when you see queer people talking about the queer community, take a deep breath, and consider:

They aren't talking about you

[black-and-yellow]

How much would it cost to see post lov Loudspeaker with all of his scars? I have shiny rocks and seashells

Doesn't take much to convince me to draw Loudspeaker. But give me your coolest rock.

[sleepanonymous]

I am never forgiving Vessel for closing Sundowning with the song Blood Sport and opening This Place Will Become Your Tomb with Atlantic. Sir how could you do that to your fans? This is just too painful 😭😭

[northern-passage]

i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself

in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)

which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.

and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….

there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got three asks asking for laughingstock in a row, im putting the doodles i have On A Shelf <3

[transvampireboyfriend]

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

A few joints and some charades rounds later, they all start yawning.

The night gets cold and they start walking back to the cabin.

Argyle and Nance go first, complaining that it's too cold for them to keep trying to guess or make hand gestures themselves. They grab their trash bag and head back.

The fire burns down into embers as the rest of them play a last round of charades.

The game turns into a music discussion and then that turns into Steve and Eddie sharing music with each other, discussing  the albums their moms played when they were little, while Jonathan and Robin excitedly discuss music instruments and how they first learned to read music sheets.

They don't even notice that Robs and Jon get up to leave until Robin calls back to Steve.

"You better not be too loud when you come back, Dingus, I'm going straight to bed" she says,

It's her way of saying 'we're leaving, so you and Eddie can be alone'.

Steve loves her so much. He gives her two thumbs up and she laughs.

"You know I never imagined our musical meeting point would be Billie Holiday," Eddie muses, not moving from his place next to Steve,

Steve's smile grows wider and he tears his eyes away from Robin to turn back to Eddie.

"I feel like it makes sense" Steve says,

"Yeah?" Eddie asks.

His chocolate eyes roam Steve's face and Steve is reminded of him doing the same thing that week when they (officially) met, Eddie's mouth smiling around his name and making Steve's heart skip a beat.

"Yeah. Somehow." Steve says, thinking of songs that are way too romantic for him to be thinking about right now.

Eddie smiles too, his nose is all red from being outside all day and Steve wants to touch it, wants to feel the little bit of sun that now lives in his skin. Instead, he basks in being the sole focus of his attention.

He sees Eddie's eyes drift up, where his bandana is still sitting against Steve's hair.

"Do you need it back?" Steve asks, "Do you have an emotional connection to this thing?" he teases,

Eddie snickers, "If I didn't before-" he trails off,

Steve feels butteflies flutter about his stomach, he tries to hide his giddiness and elbows Eddie's side.

Eddie laughs and sways with it before he straightens up again,

"No, but, what I was thinking was-" Eddie starts, reaching up to tug on the scrunchie that he's wearing, letting his hair fall down to his shoulders again.

Steve's smile fades as he watches the strands fall around him, Eddie is so pretty, Steve wants to comb his fingers through his hair, use it to tilt his head back. He catches a whiff of strawberry shampoo and tries to stop himself from eagerly breathing it in.

"Since you seem so happy grabbing my things," Eddie's saying, "maybe you could take care of this for me?"

He holds the scruchie up and doesn't wait for an answer, grabbing one of Steve's wrists.

His fingers are warm against Steve's cooling skin.

"Nance would kill me if I lose it, so it's important that I don't." Eddie explains, placing the accessory on Steve's wrist and holding it there,

"Do you think I could trust you with it?" Eddie asks, his eyes finding Steve's again.

His eyes draw Steve in, he feels hypnotized and the question feels weighted, like Eddie's not just talking about the scrunchie.

Steve feels like he's standing at the edge of a precipice, he's always let himself fall in way too deep, way too fast. But somehow, now, with Eddie, it doesn't feel like a dangerous thing.

Enough time has passed that he trusts Eddie. Really, he did since the beginning, but now, Steve feels like he knows him, and trusts what he knows of him, and he wants Eddie to trust him too.

He licks his lips and answers "Yeah. You can." his voice is weighed down by the significance of what they're saying and he hopes his half-whisper lets Eddie know he means it, for this and for anything else he might be asking.

Eddie half-smiles, a small thing that Steve's never seen before and feels sweeter than all the s'mores they've eaten tonight.

"Thank you." Eddie whispers, leaning into the space between them almost imperceptibly, but Steve notices.

He realizes he's smiling back and leans in too, their shoulders brushing. They're both focused on the others' lips, breathing shallowly, and just as Steve's about to close the distance,

"Guys! can you bring back the popcorn bowls?" Nancy yells from the cabin,

Startled, they both immediately jump apart.

Steve clears his throat so hard he ends up coughing a little.

Eddie sighs heavily.

"Would've thrown them into the fucking fire, if we still had one," he grumbles under his breath,

Steve snorts and feels his cheeks burning up as he chuckles. Eddie looks at him and joins in.

"GUYS!" it's Jonathan this time, making them both jump in their seats again.

"Yuh-huh! Coming!" Eddie yells back, he turns to Steve and shakes his head, rolling his eyes like they're the most annoying thing to ever happen to him.

Steve loves his theatrics. He bites his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Finally, Eddie gets up from his seat, picks up the bowls and looks at Steve again.  When he finds him beaming, Eddie winks. Steve wants to melt into the ground.

"Come on," Eddie says, jerking his head to the side,"before they come drag us by the ears,"

Steve huffs. He wipes his hands on his thighs, trying to sober up.

When he stands up and grabs their cooler, Eddie extends a hand out to him, an uncertain look on his face.

Steve doesn't hesitate to take it, interlacing their fingers together.

⋆ * ⋆🌙 ⋆ * ⋆

Eddie feels a current of energy go through him when Steve interlaces their fingers.

He feels jittery with it, wants to swing their hands back and forth, but settles for swiping his thumb over Steve's wrist as they walk, his finger softly jostling the scrunchie he put there earlier.

After a few paces, Steve subtly steps closer to Eddie. His sleeves are still rolled up all the way and Eddie can see him shivering a bit.

"You cold?" Eddie asks,

"Mmhm." Steve confirms, "Why? are you gonna throw another vest at me?"

It catches Eddie off guard, startles a laugh out of him and leaves Steve looking so smug, squeezing their hands.

"I'm not sorry," Eddie says, "you wore that thing for hours,"

Steve grins, "Still do." he counters, his smile is so bright, Eddie can't get enough of it.

"Hmm," Eddie nods, "it looks good on you", he adds,

Steve looks up at him and their eyes get stuck together for a few steps.

Until Eddie has to go and trip over nothing.

"Fuck." Eddie mutters under his breath, immediately jumping into a wide stance so he won't bring them both tumbling down.

"Oop. Careful" Steve says at the same time, extending the hand holding the cooler in front of them to prevent Eddie from falling over.

Steve looks at his stance then, and apparently finds it funny, "Are you okay?" he asks, his honeyed eyes telling on the laugh he's holding back.

Eddie softly yanks on their joined hands in protest but can't help the smile that mirrors Steve's.

"Don't. Laugh at me." Eddie chuckles,

"I'm not! " Steve laughs,

Eddie shakes his head and resumes their walk, dragging Steve along by their joined hands.

Steve catches up quickly, now boldly pressing their sides together.

"Almost there" Eddie tells him, feeling a bit helpless because he was gonna offer his jacket, but now he feels silly.

"I think I'll make it" Steve whispers, copying Eddie's earlier motion, rubbing his thumb against Eddie's palm.

His skin is so soft and warm, it makes Eddie want to drag Steve's hand up and place it against the back of his own neck. He tries not to shiver at the thought.

When they get to the cabin, Eddie opens the door for Steve and is rewarded by a squeeze of his hand before Steve lets go.

Steve's amber eyes shine in the front porch's yellow light and he whispers a small 'thank you' as he goes in before Eddie.

Eddie thinks if Steve doesn't stop being so sweet, his heart is gonna fly out of his chest.

part 8

[villain-byteniwoha]

it's ironic that accounts saying they "block klk shippers" and "don't want to interact with proshippers" can always find something to say in my posts/reblogs. while I, a kaeluc shipper, personally have the "ragbros" tag blocked because I do not want to accidentally share something with a romantic context in mind, in case op is uncomfortable with that.

because I know how to put my own, as well as respect other's, boundaries in online spaces.

because I know that every single thing isn't meant for me and everyone has their own preferences.

because I know it's not only weird but also rude to go out of my way to put someone down for their interests or hard work.

but sure, call me the immoral one here for liking a fictional relationship between two fictional characters—who, keep in mind, I first started liking on the grounds that they were previously sworn brothers.