A JERK. OR NOT?
genre. fluff.
warnings. eunseok is a tiny bit jerk... he teases a lot. but he's actually whipped.
pairing. eunseok x fem!reader.
wc. 1.9k.
request. requested by @eternalgyu: JDJSJS OK LISTEN EUNSEOK ACADEMIC E2L- HES ACTUALLY BULLYCORE TO HIS CLOSE FRIENDS BUT HES ALSO THE SWEETEST WHEN HES IN LOVE
like he would make u miss ur bus after school and it would rain but then would walk u home w an umbrella HSJSJSJ IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM
a/n. hehe i ate up this req TBH EUNSEOK IS SO HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND THO??? i literally love him what
You had no idea how you had ended up in this position; somehow charming the school’s most popular guy. Most popular and biggest jerk. But God, who even cared if he was mean when he looked like an angel sent down from heaven to grace the school grounds?
Whenever someone new came to the school, there were several things that they were immediately made aware of. Most of them were given a list or told directly by one of the older students, while others learned naturally within a week of being at Chungdam High.
First? Eating outside was infinitely better than eating in the canteen.
Second? Being late was worse than being absent.
And third? Song Eunseok was the king of the school.
New students could probably just tell from the way he carried himself that he knew he could get anyone to do what he wanted. He was lazy, slept in class, cut in line at the snackbar, toyed with the younger students for his own amusement. He never truly bullied people, but he tread the line sometimes, and you didn’t like it.
You weren’t new to the school. You had been attending since you graduated middle school, and you were ever aware of all 3 of these things. It wasn’t until you were in your graduating year that the third thing became as apparent as ever. For some reason— whether it was a Summer glow-up that you weren’t aware of, or a dare from his friends, or whether he had truly always liked you— at the very beginning of the year, Eunseok had asked you out.
You thought that rejecting him the first time would discourage him from his… fixation. But, to your dismay, after coming back from the fall break, he seemed as determined as ever to win you over. He even somehow got the seating arrangement to change so he sat right behind you. You spent the fall months trying to ignore his constant pestering and note passing. He liked to kick your feet under the table as well.
You didn’t really mind the most handsome guy at school paying attention to you, but you were confused. You definitely weren’t going to blindly accept his offer to be your boyfriend without first getting to know him, which was your secret mission for now.
Given that you didn’t go out of your way to avoid him, and still engaged in conversations with him, Eunseok kept his hopes up despite your original rejection. He was more sensible than his reputation might have painted for him. Yes, he enjoyed teasing people just to see their annoyed face, but bullying was a step too far even for him.
Maybe it was his need for attention, but he thrived on anything he could get. Whether it was the girls all having crushes on him or the boys all being jealous of him— he tried to make sure that he was at the top of everyone’s mind. But he wasn’t a bully. Anyone with any sense would know that Chungdam High did not have a bullying problem, but if anyone were to fill in that spot, it would probably be Eunseok and his friends.
It was because of this ambiguity that you weren’t quite sure whether you should be wary of Eunseok or not. He had never shown an interest in you before, and you wanted to be positive that his affection was sincere before allowing your heart to be affected by his flirting tactics.
Flirting? Yeah, he was quite good at that, you realized after a week of his attention. Only because he had mastered flirting in a way that was not cliche or cheesy, but hanging in that sweet spot of summoning butterflies every time a word flew out of his mouth. Along with his stupidly attractive smirk that appeared whenever you blushed because of his words, you were quickly failing in your plan to be unaffected by him until you were sure you wanted to accept his offer.
It was a delicate balance of your brain’s hesitance and your heart’s curiosity. You had never been in love, and though sometimes you didn’t want to accept it, you craved experiencing that more than anything.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and you were sitting in the library during your free period. You had come in to get some work done, but instead you found yourself mulling over how Eunseok had acted around you for the last week. You still couldn’t tell whether he was being genuine or not, and that frustrated you. You decided you would just ask him the next time you saw him. Worst case scenario, you would discover that he really was just a jerk trying to play with your emotions.
It seemed as if he wanted that ‘next time’ to be right now, because he pulled out a chair across from you and sat down. He crossed his arms and propped up his feet on the table, blatantly ignoring library etiquette. You shook your head and scoffed, turning your attention back to your very blank notebook.
“You’ve been in here for an hour yet I haven’t seen you turn a single page.” Eunseok started, a smirk already playing on his lips. He had his secret hopes and suspicions that he might be the reason why you were so distracted today. He needed to test out the waters first, though. Your cheeks immediately coloured at being caught, and Eunseok was given a surge of confidence.
“If you’re not planning to study anyway, how about I buy you something at the snack bar? Hello Panda, right? Those are your favourite?” He was already standing up by the time you found yourself nodding your head. You had no choice but to pack up your books and follow him.
“Hey,” You started, taking the chance to ask him your question while he was buying the snacks for you. “Do you seriously like me? This isn’t some stupid dare that Sungchan made you do, right?”
He was silent for a few moments— maybe the first time you had ever heard him stop and think. He grabbed the packet of Hello Panda from the bottom of the vending machine and turned to you.
“Yes. I actually like you.” His face was almost completely stonelike. He was trying not to express anything that could give away just how much he was entirely whipped for you. You could see it in his eyes, though. They looked nervous awaiting your answer.
“Really?” You asked skeptically, needing one more confirmation before you would allow yourself to fully believe him. You wanted to believe him. It was hard trying to ignore his affections towards you every day when your brain kept telling you to take this chance and experience love for the first time.
“Yes. Really. How long are you going to keep asking that?” He said, a little on edge from the situation. It was uncomfortable to have to confess so openly. He could tease you all day without feeling nervous, but when you were staring at him so closely, he started to feel vulnerable.
“Okay. Just making sure…” You grabbed the Hello Panda from his hands and walked off, heart racing just a little faster than your mind. He really liked you? So then… should you ask him out? You shook off the thought as you walked outside. Your bus would be arriving any minute, and you wanted to get home to think in the comfort of your bedroom.
You frowned as you stepped outside. It was raining— a small sprinkle for now, but it looked like it would only get heavier. You didn’t bring an umbrella. You checked your phone for the time.
Shit.
It was already 4:08. Your bus was probably already close to the bus stop. You took off running, eyes widening as you rounded the corner. The bus was already leaving.
“No- No! Come back!” You shouted helplessly, slowing down as you caught up to the bus stop. You panted, scowling at your luck. You would’ve been on time if Eunseok hadn’t distracted you by buying you snacks. You supposed you shouldn’t blame him too much. It was a nice gesture. You were doubtful that the Hello Panda would stay nice if you had to walk home in the rain, though. There wasn’t another bus for over 30 minutes.
“Hey! How could you just leave like that!?” You heard a shout and turned. Eunseok was running towards you, his hand shielding his face from the rain that had gotten significantly heavier since you had reached the shelter of the bus stop. It looked like he didn’t have an umbrella either.
“What do you mean?” You muttered, looking away from him to stop your heart from racing further.
“You’re really not going to say anything?” He asked weakly.
“Get out of the rain.” You said, hoping to divert the conversation from the topic you still weren’t entirely sure about.
“Not until you give me an answer.” He said firmly and you sighed. “Please, I’ll stop if you say so… But I need you to say it. I’ve liked you for a year now. If you don’t tell me to stop then I’m seriously going to cross a line.” He warned, heart all choked up in his throat.
You weren’t sure what to say or do. Eunseok stood, getting soaked from the rain, waiting anxiously for your response. You would be lying if you said that his flirtation over the past months hadn’t had an effect on you. You felt the sparks fly— you had reason to think that it could work out.
“I’ve never… dated before.” You confessed nervously.
“That shouldn’t- No, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is if you want to.” He reassured you, his hopes rising every second that you didn’t say no.
“Then… I like you, Eunseok.” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear it. Even though you said it softly, it rang around his head like an alarm.
You liked him?
You liked him.
You liked him.
He couldn’t contain his elation, and rushed forward, capturing you in his arms securely. Though he was soaking wet from the rain, having him hold you felt… pleasant. Much nicer than you had ever anticipated. His touch was cold against your skin but your heart felt warm. Droplets of water from his hair dripped onto your shoulder as you hesitantly reached around to reciprocate the hug.
You heard him giggle. It was adorable. You had rarely seen him smile unless it was a sarcastic smirk, but hearing that sound of pure joy coming from his mouth and knowing that it was because of you triggered your own happiness to spike. It felt nice. Really nice. You didn’t want to let go of the hug, so even when Eunseok started to move away and apologize for hugging you so suddenly, you pulled him back and buried your head further into his chest. He was taken aback by your sudden action.
“You’re so… cute.” He whispered. You smiled, colour rushing to your cheeks. You hid your face even more just in case he saw. His teasing was bad before, but now that you were sure you liked him, it wouldn’t be annoying, it would be embarrassing.
Unfortunately for you, he somehow did catch a glimpse of the blush and didn’t let it go for the entire walk home. Maybe he was still just a little bit of a jerk.
↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr, @chiiyuuvv,, @evalevaeva
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More creepypasta headcannons!
+the women this time! Also these aren’t sexual, but there will be references to drinking, drugs and sex
And in most of these I am ignoring what is actually cannon so I’m sorry, I just like thinking more on the wholesome side of this fandom.
Also, I understand that Sally is like not at all like her OG story, but this is how I like to interpret her so please don’t hate!
Jeff the killer
Age: 22
Wine Problems: got citric acid rubbed into his healing mouth scar by EJ and Ben. (He splattered paint all over Ben’s gaming system Bc he wouldn’t give him free weed. EJ joined because of the “Tear-alliance”)
Head-cannons
“erm actually ☝🏻”
-He buys a lot of flip phones to prank the pastas. Specifically Ben, Jane and Hoodie. Tbh kind of a big bully. Also definitely steals slenders money.
-Lactose intolerant
-eats hot Cheetos like an mf
-he’s oddly spiritual??? But in a scared way, he thinks the gods are coming for him just cause 🤷🏻♂️
-he thinks he’s slick whenever he steals Slenders money, but slender knows.
-one time for a TikTok, he tried getting one of the pastas to do the candy man dance with him but no one wanted to join him except for Hoodie Bc he felt bad 😭
-every normal person thinks his TikTok is a devoted cosplayer, but he’s not.
-he’s actually really depressed about Liu, but he never rlly addressed it with himself. He just ignores it and him Bc he doesn’t know how to react.
Jane the Killer
Age: 23
Wine Problems: Sally accidentally got shoved by Jeff during a quarrel and now she has to get Sally to stop crying before Slender comes back from meeting his brothers.
Head-cannons
-makes so many funny faces to herself and actively talks to herself in front of people (and mid convo too)
-you will catch her pacing down the main hallway with headphones in when she’s angry.
-AWFUL BAKER idk HOW she just can’t bake. It always burns.
-her natural hair is shoulder length, black and curly.
-Her wife is a normal person (granted immunity from slender), her name is Lillian.
-Toby was the ring bearer for the wedding, Sally and Lazari (when she was young) were the flower girls. Lillian’s brother walked her down the isle, Toby walked Jane down the isle afterwards. Jeff at the reception gave a surprisingly good speech about Jane and their marriage… but then he got destructive drunk and had to be carried out Frank Gallagher style.
-she has a separate house and identity that she uses away from the mansion to be normal with her life and be the adult she couldn’t be.
-she’s never rlly at her other house tho.
-she loves having deep scientific talks with people to see their ideas and to read them better.
-she’s a really good person to talk to about passion projects Bc she’ll engage in your thoughts and use her knowledge to help you with whatever your stuck on or thinking of. She also hypes too.
-her and Kate are like the main watchers/caretakers of new pastas to make them feel comfortable.
-she is actively the only pasta who has seen Slenders human form.
Ben drowned
Age: 19
Wine Problems: Jeff and sally creating a doll out of Ben’s hair. The hair from his shower drain. Then them harassing him with it, trapping him in the livingroom TV.
Head-cannons
-The house dealer
-Everyone is trying to get all up in his business
-it takes him 20 minutes every morning doing his hair and skin routine.
-his favorite video game is RDR2
-chronic Jacksepticeye fanboy. Has attempted to see him on tour awhile back ago.
-his room is clean, but so weird. Like he has Minecraft posters and odd shit like that. He also has those LED lights on his walls and a really fucking expensive gaming setup.
-does not punch his walls.
-he has a pet tarantula named Bea.
-he chronically enjoys Pepsi. It’s kind of gross. Also he is HUGE on snacks, like he has a mini fridge.
-also to be allowed in his room you have to cashapp him 5$ if you’re in their for longer than 15 minutes for “wasting his time”
-he listens to a lot of French music and video game soundtrack to fall asleep.
-he LOVES Skyrim.
-he knows a lot abt tech since he’s a video game ghost/glitch, but it’s not his only personality.
Clockwork
Age: 20
Wine problems: recently started hearing voices after accidentally eating one of the special brownies in the kitchen. She’s in the corner in the living room having a bad trip. Lazari is behind her comforting her. (Clockwork currently doesn’t think she’s real)
Head-cannons
-asexual and aerosexual. They just are rarely attracted to people.
-LOVES low-rise jeans
-she’s like hella sarcastic and definitely has disorders (undiagnosed)
-for the most part she’s pretty quiet, speaks more with her hands than her mouth.
-tall af, like 5’11.
-whenever she gets a migraine you might as well shoot her since she has the clock in her eye 😭
-her favorite movie series is SAW. She has actively built some of the prototypes like the reverse bear trap.
-she collects animal teeth and bones.
-her room gives very much teenage dirtbag.
-after awhile she starts hating people she hangs around Bc she’s bad at setting boundaries. That’s one of the reasons she broke up with Toby.
-very passionate about politics and her assignments.
-she has a cat named Bubble, she’s a Siamese cat and she surprisingly cuddly. Bubble hates everyone but clockwork and sometimes she sits on Clockworks shoulder.
Ticci Toby
Age: 22
Wine problems: he was out getting groceries for the pastas and then a group of 13 yr olds started harassing him (he bought one of those lobsters in the water) until he went to his car.
Head-cannons
-buys the house groceries once a week.
-genuinely careless. Like he is so straight faced tbh. Unless you’re really funny and he’s seriously caught of guard.
-eats so much chocolate it’s insane. LOVES hot chocolate.
-his stutter does get better, but it’s still pretty present.
-he does not like Jeff. At all.
-sometimes he can be such an accidental dickhead. He does not know timing like at all.
-you will see him awake at 5AM eating salad.
-he love’s Hollywood undead almost an unreasonable amount. Borderline stalkery.
-excellent organizer and party planner, typically helps Kate with designing shit.
-he doesn’t really know how to feel about the pastas, he just rlly like Jane though. She reminds him of everything he’s lost.
-he loves to draw birds and birdwatching.
-he only kills his assignments.
Judge Angels
Age: 25
Wine problems: she spilled a glass of milk on smile dog and is currently hiding in her room until he goes away. Also got caught gatekeeping by Lazari.
Head-cannons
-can’t handle certain writing styles. Like she hates commas and all capitalized letters. They just grind her gears.
-her favorite food is mangos.
-tbh shopping addict. She’s always buying small trinkets and organizing boxes. On her way to becoming a horder. (Not really but kinda)
-probably one of the funniest pastas (if you unlock her first)
-sometimes she’ll randomly turn to a southern accent but she doesn’t realize it.
-easily cringable. She’s either giggling, lost or just staring. It’s kind of funny tho.
-She’s so bad at scheduling. She makes plans on plans and forgets other plans and it’s highly irritating. Almost every pasta gets annoyed at her for this.
-she makes a mean French toast.
-her closet consists of the same outfits repeated and she lacks confidence. She doesn’t gain much until she became friends with the girls of the mansion and they started introducing her to different feminine/masculine styles. She now comfortably represents androgynously.
-she has dimple piercings.
Puppeteer
Age: unknown
Wine Problems: the clown-posse (LJ, Jason and Candypop) are all on his ass because the past week all of them have seen him steal something of theirs at least once. LJ lost 5 items, Jason lost 2 and Candypop lost 3.
Head-cannons
-mischievous fucker.
- ‘swiper no swiping’ my ass.
-he’s seen the entirety of paw patrol and kind of loves the show?? It’s just so stupid, he loves making fun of it.
-has literally 0 sympathy and will laugh at your misfortune to your face.
-he can eat anything spicy without feeling it. Sour candy tho? You might as well shoot him.
-can’t handle his alcohol.
-calls the mansion his trap house.
-has a bit where he calls the pastas his whores since him and slender have similar powers.
-He’s not that much of a dick though, he won’t attempt to control someone unless they sign a contract.
-hates looking into mirrors, they make him depressed.
-has phases of sleeping 24/7 and staying up for days on end.
-don’t bother him when he’s snug as a bug in a rug, he will kill you if you interrupt him.
-he LOVES a good soft blanket. No matter where you will catch him with a cute blankie, as long as it’s soft. His favorite blanket is from Liu during their secret Santa Christmas celebration. It’s a navy blue blanket with white tiny flecks representing stars.
-sometimes he thinks really deep and looks at the sky at night, but he doesn’t understand much since he’s the personification of self-deletion. He has trouble understanding emotion and how he feels sometimes so he lashes out.
-sometimes he takes it bad when he thinks about how the pastas think he’s an asshole bc he wants to be seen as more than that but he never really shows that.
-British 😏
Nurse Ann
Age: 25
Wine problems: she woke up with both of her legs missing, someone (she doesn’t know who), stole her needle and thread. She can’t attach her legs until then, so far she’s been in her wheelchair. No luck.
Head-cannons
-her eyes are completely black.
-her favorite hobby is cleaning and sewing. Both of them just calm her down whenever she’s feeling jittery or anxious. For Christmas she sees a bunch of sweaters for the pastas.
-when she was 13 she worked at a local restaurant as a waitress.
-her legs come off if her stitches come undone. Sometimes the Pastas will purposely cut the thread as a joke. (It’s all in good fun tho, shes okay with it).
-plus sized
-can speak Spanish and French! She was one of those hella smart girls in class.
-she plays a lot of LoveNikki.
-she was a theater kid in highschool. Her school did sweeny Todd and she played Mrs Lovett.
-her and eyeless Jack are geniuses of the mansion. Ppl tried setting them up, but neither of them felt the vibe. They’re good acquaintances tho.
-Slender doesn’t send her out on much assignments since she’s normally so busy with the pastas injuries. The only reason why EJ goes out as much as he does is to get food— that he insists he can do by himself.
Bloody Painter
Age: 24
Wine problems: fell asleep while painting. His clothes is ruined and so is his painting. In his hella sassy feels rn. Totally sulking. Abt to drown himself in the shower.
Head-cannons
-snarky bitch.
-he LOVES white chocolate macadamia cookies.
-“wtf”
-he can’t HANDLE it whenever someone is watching what he’s doing or questioning his method of doing things. It makes a certain spring in his head snap.
-I’m ngl I think he’s always super tired. Probably cause he’s besties with puppeteer. Like this man is eepy, he’s a cute sleeper tho.
-he’s silent but scary. You will NEVER hear him coming. He could be behind you waiting and you genuinely would not notice until you’re dead.
-I feel like he spends a lot of time in his room painting, but whenever he gets an art block he might as well cry. He genuinely doesn’t know what to do when he can’t paint. His three options are; crying, reading or eating.
-Jeff is always joking around with him, but he doesn’t really play along with it… even tho he tries to get closer to a lot of the pastas. Jeff just isn’t one he’s interested being nice too.
-he watched miraculous ladybug once and almost cried.
Rouge
Age: 25
Wine problems: she accidentally ripped her pants and not in the cute way. Also her worn down converse she’s had since she was 15 finally wore out and broke down.
Head-cannons
-she’s not that messy, but for the aesthetic she can be. She’s not afraid of getting dirty.
-she has a dream journal that she writes in every morning Bc it helps her lucid dream. She only likes lucid dreaming Bc she feels in control, though this has accidentally lead to sleep paralysis.
-she’s super sensitive to the cold.
-she’s really good friends with clockwork.
-she’s honestly a creative genius. She loves literature and art and performance. Though sometimes she gets completely lost in her work.
-constantly in a state of escapism.
-she kind of reminds me of Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower. That’s probably her favorite movie too.
-she loves hanging around the girls of the mansion, they make her feel at home. Like she’s sm more comfortable around them than others. Sometimes when a new pasta arrives and they throw an honoring ceremony, the girl pastas will all get ready together in Slenders room! (His room is the biggest and he’s cooking all the food with the boys)
Masky
Age: 25
Wine problems: ran out of storage on his phone, now he has to delete the many photos and videos of him pranking Toby in his sleep.
Head-cannons
-he’s not as much as a dickhead as he seems, like he’s actually pretty chill and he has simple boundaries.
-he’s more of a loner if anything, the one person he like actually talks to tho is Toby and hoodie. Hoodie as an acquaintance and Toby as a little brother.
-sometimes he can get a little crazy, but that’s expected.
-he’s the easiest pasta to scare, this mf is JUMPY.
-he is a chronic shitposter.
-he loves self care tho. Like he’s always showering or getting shower stuff. He has like a collection of shower stuff.
-he used to have his ears pierced as a rebellion against his parents as a teen, but they closed. Sometimes he wishes he could get them repeirced.
-he’s like the type of guy who takes bubble baths a lot Bc he’s stressed all the time. Like he’s ALWAYS irritated abt something.
-you know he’d run a Walmart deli like his bitch.
-regardless, he takes his job too seriously and sometimes slender gets a lil concerned abt him Bc he literally gets crazy sometimes.
-rated T for ‘Too hard to work with’
Laughing Jill
Age: unknown
Wine problems: choked on a piece of hair and the next person that talks to her is getting the belt. Also couldn’t answer a simple math equation in a debate with hoodie so now everyone is calling her a bimbo.
Head-cannons
-she makes SO MANY TIKTOK VIDEOS, almost TikTok famous (she doesn’t show her or anyone’s face on cam)
-almost started a mukbang account.
-her and Jack came from the same Angel hence their name and design.
-she cried when watching the fnaf movie.
-she wears some odd earrings and she actually adds some color in her wardrobe too, unlike Jack.
-she is really into evanescence.
-has an aggressive southern accent (like Millie from Helluva Boss)
-southern lass girlboss sass idk
-she absolutely HATES water, like swimming is her biggest nightmare. She hates the ocean and ocean animals. They just creep her out.
-she’s not really close with anyone but she yaps sm. The one who tolerate it the most is probably Kate, Ben and Bloody painter.
-she’s been in a mosh pit a couple times and the first time someone threw a PB&J sandwich on her. She almost cried.
Hoodie
Age: 26
Wine problems: trying to keep control of the house. Put away the brownies, constantly cleaning. Is forced to give up once Jeff throws ice cream at the ceiling.
Head-cannons
-no matter where, he only wears converse.
-tbh think he watches some anime.
-I feel like if he ever was rapping he’d be really good at it.
-with assignments he’s one of the most efficient out of the mansion, some people don’t like him cause of it.
-he stays out of most peoples way, sometimes he’ll help Nurse Ann clean tho. He probably reads often with Sally too.
-he’s a loyal confidant to all no matter what and he’s relatively judgment free.
-he has an aggressive model walk, might as well call him Adriana Lima.
-him and Toby are like the only pastas with bad facial hair and sometimes in the morning they shave together 😭
-he cringes so hard knowing that there’s a whole fandom that he’s one of the stars in, like he thinks it’s a bit odd.
-ever since toby got high and went anonymous online, creating a fandom revolving around their house and friends. Things have been a bit wary between the two.
Sally
Age: physically 8, mentally 215
Wine problems: got accidentally shoved by Jeff (sobbing). Missing slender, also is tired of the bull going on in the house. Mf is abt to yell.
Head-cannons
-she totally gets annoyed at the pastas Bc they all treat her like she’s her physical age. Like I feel like this is something that genuinely pisses her off.
-even tho she is 215, she’s very childish, like she loves Disney and animated movies.
-She doesn’t really play with dolls but she has a collection of them in her room.
-She sometimes goes to school for fun to lurk out other possible pastas with bad home lives. (They wouldn’t get assignments until theyre 18 at least)
-she’s very easily disgusted by visuals or concepts. She can’t watch Wallace and grament without wanting to die.
-she was the one that started the idea of sending assignments for the pastas, Slender agreed Bc she’s basically the daughter he always wanted. (She’s also the one who suggested they make it like a business scheme to attract those meant to be apart of the pastas so they don’t have to scout ppl out.)
-she is very strong politically and she is very open with what she has to say.
-very creative and smart, she reads often on multiple different subjects. She can speak Russian, ASL, French, Spanish and she knows Morse code. She’s trying to learn piano or violin too. She’s essentially a prodigy.
-she’s teaching some of the other pastas different languages, specifically Kate and Rouge who want to learn Morse code.
-specific requests with assignments are ran By Sally before she goes to slender with them.
Laughing Jack
Age: unknown
Wine problems: losing his final straw with puppeteer. Is about to pour hot sauce in his eyes. Eagerly awaiting dinner and sleep. Genuinely one of the only times in his life he’s ever been exhausted.
Head-cannons
-he cries after sex, no matter what.
-he thinks EJ shouldn’t be called Jack when he came first as the first Jack, but everyone calls him LJ.
-very British.
-he compliments Bloody Painters art whenever he sees it.
-Jeff is always making jokes abt how old he is and it pisses him off. (He got asked if dinosaurs really had feathers.)
-for awhile on YouTube he did ASMR without showing his face.
-he doesn’t know how to drive at all and he has a horse collection of dolls. It’s kinda weird but the pastas think it’s bc he people used to ride carriages so that’s what Jack is most used to seeing. They’re not wrong.
-he doesn’t really like music, it’s so loud for his sensitive earbuds.
-he can genuinely hear everything.
-the only movie he cried at was the Freddy Mercury movie.
Lazari
Age: 16, appears however she wants to.
Wine problems: grounded for stealing a cat, can’t go to the mansion so she’s angsty and listening to old Evanescence. Also lookin a lot like Ramona Flowers rn (blue hair version)
Head-cannons
-she eats a LOT of icecream sandwiches.
-she reads a lot of comics, her favorite comic character is Raven (Rachel Roth) Bc she relates to her backstory a lot.
-before she knew her dad, she had a creepypasta fan account. Zalgo forced her to delete it.
-when Unus Annus ended she didn’t leave her room for a week. She was a MESS
-she influenced Candypop hella when getting into the Scott Pilgrim vibe and dying hair. She was his biggest supporter.
-she reads a LOT. She used to love Twilight too.
-she was a huge Percy Jackson nerd. She wants to play Thalia in a live action series.
-if you didn’t notice she’s rlly into pop culture.
-her and Sally remain best friends Bc Lazari is the only one who gets that Sally isn’t actually 8 years old despite her looking that way.
-I’m ngl her assignments from zalgo are mostly women.
-she is a very sassy young lady. Like she says some of the most out of pocket shit and it’s so funny. The pastas have witness Lazari telling Zalgo off and it’s so silly.
Jason The Toymaker
Age: unknown
Wine problems: the last person he killed is being a nuisance and wreaking havoc in his office. Also got his spell book destroyed, so Slender ordered another one for him.
Head-cannons
-he takes hella fashion inspo from the labyrinth.
-he REFUSES to smell bad or to live bad. Like he likes his stuff at the highest quality. It’s kind of silly.
-all of his clothes is made from spider silk.
-he watches a lot of plays and musicals, genuinely loves orchestras and stuff like that.
-his nails are super sharp and he kinda hates it Bc he can’t do anything with his hands and Jeff edited him to have pink nails saying Periodt 😭 and it became a huge meme in the groupchat.
-tbh he’s kind of an oracle, like he can tell what someone’s future is going to be like. He doesn’t do it on purpose but he’s somehow always right.
-this comes in tie with his assignments. He mostly deletes preteens and teens Bc he can see their future. He’s necessary for deleting future aggressors. He deletes more than his assignments tho.
-sometimes he gets emotional when watching Disney movies Bc he thinks of found family as the creepypastas.
-ice age makes him sob so hard. Don’t tell anyone tho, he’s embarrassed.
Zero
Age: 25
Wine problems: her scarf got stolen and her cat, Maple is hiding behind the TV Ben was previously trapped in.
Head-cannons
-she is very out of the loop. Slenderman had to seriously correct her spirit once she joined. She was way too much for him and the Pastas to handle. Now it’s like a venom situation where Alice and Zero take turns with Alice’s body.
-she has a very distinct style.
-for awhile her and LJ were kind of into each other, but she got the ick once and never looked back.
-she has very random violent outbursts that are hard to deal with. Slender has a detector on her to keep an eye. She’s probably the most defiant creepypasta.
-Jeff and her hooked up once and were in a very toxic relationship that lasted 2 months. Now they ignore each other and act like they don’t exist.
-she is highly into herself. Totally has a smexy twitter account.
-for as long as she’s been with the pastas, she has grown to care for them, though she doesn’t really show that at all. She doesn’t take it personally or care how they feel about that.
Homicidal Liu
Age: 24
Wine problems: accidentally got caught up in teenage drama while bird watching at the nearest park. He’s trying to find a way to back away from the group of teens without drawling their attention. It isn’t working.
Head-cannons
-he doesn’t remember Jeff or his family.
-if you give him orange chicken he’s gonna flip a chair and rip open his shirt.
-he’s able to stomach anything but he will totally critique your food, he does not care.
-his voice is really quiet and sultry.
-he doesn’t really understand or comprehend the spirituality involving Slenderman and other pastas, but he’s put off by it.
-*NSYNC fanboy.
-his favorite movie is probably house of 1000 corpses.
-his scarf was a birthday gift from Jeff from way back when.
-Liu only kills his assignments and no one else. He doesn’t really think about what he does, like he’s confused and very out of it. Though he gets along nicely with the other pastas, he’s respected by everyone there.
-Liu genuinely eats so much food but he doesn’t mean to. Like he loves eating. He’s definitely the kitchen cutie.
-he gets carsick hella bad.
Nina the Killer
Age: 20
Wine problems: couldn’t find her stockings and slender logged her out of the hulu account as punishment for throwing a meatball at the wall during dinner yesterday.
Head-cannons
-bisexual
-her favorite movie is definitely corpse bride, she is Emily, Emily is her.
-honestly she’s kind of a popular loner in the mansion. Like she’s friends with everyone, but she spends time alone a lot.
-definitely class clown material tho.
-she doesn’t crush on Jeff anymore 😭 she’s still demented like that tho.
-one of the only other pastas that kill outside of her assignments from slender. She kills whoever slender and Sally tell her too, but after that she grows obsessive over kind strangers and ends up killing some of them too Bc she can’t handle it.
-she isn’t allowed out often, most of her assignments are required at night to lessen her obsessiveness.
-she doesn’t really obsess over the pastas in the mansion since she’s already used to them. Jeff got lucky with her Bc once he started reciprocating feelings she lost interest 😭
-if she really wanted to, she could literally do anything within 10 minutes. Like she is FAST and hella energetic and such a diva.
CandyPop
Age: unknown
Wine Problems: keeps getting his antiques stolen by Puppeteer. Killed someone with asthma and they hit their inhaler just to blow the smoke out in his face. Mf was flabbergasted.
Head-cannon
-no one knows how he came to be, not even slender 😭 Candypop himself doesn’t even know.
-overtime his purple and blue colors started switching up.
-he says he’s exactly like Ramona flowers. Scott pilgrim vs the world is his favorite movie. Ramona is his favorite character.
-he’s a straight up asshole in a Sheldon Cooper type of way.
-everytime he’s drunk, everyone leaves the house Bc of how annoying and clingy he is.
-DO NOT tell this man your secrets. Everyone will know right as soon as you say “don’t tell anyone I did this, but…”
-he cannot drive, do not trust him in the drivers or passengers seat. Somehow he will fuck it up.
-he’s BESTIES with Clockwork.
-one time he dyed his hair green and it actually looked so terrible on him but EVERYONE was hyping him up, it was so bad.
-he loves going to Denny’s at nighttime Bc he feels special for how he looks. Or Walmart. He LOVES Walmart.
Kate the chaser
Age: 26
Wine Problem: currently trying to calm the chaos before Slender and Toby get home. Also accidentally ate a special brownie while on her antidepressants after downing 3 shots of vodka (don’t do this yall). Straight up tripping balls rn.
Head-cannon
-Fiona Gallagher coded.
-dresses up as a pirate every Halloween and she’s definitely the one who makes all the Christmas cookies.
-she always decorates the house for holidays.
-since she’s Jewish, she also has a Hanukkah setup too for the other Jewish ppl there.
-definitely vegetarian.
-probably the most fit and strong pasta next to Jeff and the supernatural ones (E: LJ, EJ, Candypop, Jason)
-she’s one of the originals.
-she had a short fling with Laughing Jill. They’re like an on and off power couple tbh.
-she bought a vibrator off of wish one time and Jeff opened her package Bc he thought it had his name on it. (Jeff had an odd bruise on his nose afterwards)
-she cuts her own hair and as a joke puts it on Ben’s pillow so that he’ll think someone dyed his hair. Cracks her up everytime istg.
-she drinks coffee like it’s nobodies BUSINESS.
Eyeless Jack
Age: 25
Wine problem: Has to help Ben torture Jeff. Also got lost in the woods for two hours looking for his next target, Toby found him and picked him up once he got back from the grocery store.
Head-cannon
-is normally the last person to find out drama or news.
-has almost walked in on so many creepypastas in the bathroom. The only reason he stops is because he can see the heat light.
-sometimes can’t tell if he’s just hallucinating Bc of how his vision works.
-if you take a picture with flash, his eyes will glow like a cats.
-buys clothes in incorrect sizes all the time. Toby has to go pants shopping for him often.
-the only time he can see normally is with his human disguise on.
-he’s definitely Greek, like his mom was definitely from Greece and his dad American. He can speak Greek and Spanish Bc of highschool. English is his second language.
-he used to get made fun of for the black tar on his mask looking like tears until Ben came along and they started the tear alliance. (They’d defend each other whenever one got teased)
-I feel like whenever he’s hungry he gets increasingly more deranged. So sometimes if he’s too depressed to get his own kidneys, someone else will have to get some for him ASAP.
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