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iamnotoriginalphil · 6 months

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Roommates? (Melissa Schemmenti x f!Reader)

Synopsis: You move into Mel's spare room

Words: 3.6k

Warnings: praise kink if you squint, swearing, mentions of alcohol

AN: Written after 3x07.

You groaned as you dropped into your seat in the break room, not hungry for the lunch you’d packed for yourself. Burying your head in your hands, you did your best to try not to think about the email you’d just received. It was hard when your stress was becoming all encompassing after weeks of it.

“What going on with you?”

You groaned again, even when you felt the brush of an arm against yours. The floral scent you’d grown accustomed to over the last few years wafted towards you. Melissa. Your closest friend at the school, and the person you’d been pining after for so long you’d lost any self respect you might have had.

“That place I was going to move into fell through,” you said, “I feel like I’ve seen every spare room in this city and there is no where to live.”

You peeked at her from between your fingers, hating to sound so whiny but knowing that your stress levels had reached breaking point. She was looking at you with a raised eyebrow and an incredulous look. You sighed, sitting up properly under her watchful gaze.

“You know Jacob’s looking for a place too,” Gregory said from the other table.

“I know,” you groaned, “he suggested we look for a place together and I can’t commit to living and working with that man. He once tried to rap at me about the Martin Luther King Jr and I can’t have that in my home.”

“I get that,” Gregory replied, “why are you even looking for a new place to live? Your place is nice.”

“My roommate keeps watching me when I sleep. Sometimes I wake up and she’s standing at the end of my bed just staring at me. It freaks me out.”

“Well hey, I’m thinking of renting out my spare room. Would you be interested, hon?”

You hadn’t expected Melissa to say that.

“Really?”

She gave you one of those small smiles that you’d never seen her give another person. Your heart fluttered and you found your cheeks heating up.

“Really,” she said, “you can pay rent, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” you replied.

“You can move in this weekend,” she said.

Come Saturday, your things were in boxes and bags, and you had a spring in your step. You were humming to yourself as you packed up your car, your entire life filling the seats and the trunk. You took one last look at the building, sighed, then got in your car and drove to the next chapter of your life.

It wasn’t until you were standing in front of the door that the reality of what you were about to do crashed into you. Living with Melissa. Being in her space all the time. Existing in close proximity. She was going to see you first thing in the morning. You were going to see her late at night.

Your crush was going to either get so much worse or dissipate when you saw all of her annoying habits.

The door opened before you could knock, revealing the red head who starred in so many of your dreams. You blinked, rearing back, not having expected her to suddenly appear. Her lips quirked up, hand snapping out to grasp you around the elbow before you could fall backwards.

“Were you planning on knocking or do you wanna live on my front step?” she asked.

“ I was… just about to… can you help with my boxes?” you asked instead, switching tracks without having to explain yourself.

“Sure, hon,” she chuckled, slipping past you.

Watching her lift your heavy boxes set off something primal in you. You followed behind her, your own arms full of your stuff. She led you up the stairs and into her spare bedroom, placing the boxes down on the made up bed.

“Well, here you are. Bed, dresser, the bathroom is down the hall. You can have a a shelf in the fridge. Your key is just there. Let me know if you need anything else,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“Do you need help with the rest of your stuff?” she asked.

“Only if you want to. I can do it myself. It’s no bother.” You had no idea why you were saying no. You felt flustered. You always felt a bit flustered around her.

“Come on, hon,” she said, giving you an indulgent smile, “the sooner we start the sooner we’ll be done.”

She left you alone after pttling the last of the boxes into your room, leaving you to unpack and settle in. Sorting your clothes into colours helped to ease your thoughts, the mindless work turning your head empty. It calmed you, getting your life in order so you could get your thoughts in order.

It wasn’t going to be so bad living with Melissa. She was being nice to you which was more than Jacob or Janine had been able to say after their cooking lesson with her. Accommodating was the word. She was almost going out of her way to be nice.

And most importantly you could keep your crush to yourself without ruining it all.

That night, she made dinner, offering you some and then curled up on the couch with a glass of wine. You were hesitant about joining her, hovering until she rolled her eyes and tugged you to sit beside her.

But it was easy to fall into a routine with her. Surprisingly easy. So easy that you didn’t even notice until a few weeks in.

Sitting at the table on a Wednesday night, doing the puzzle you’d started over the weekend, you listened to her hum in the kitchen. Something was bubbling on the stove top, the smell mouth watering. You looked up as fingers pushed a piece towards you.

“Thanks,” you said, looking up at her.

She was already smiling at you and you couldn’t help but smile back. It was an instinctual response. You couldn’t help it when it came to Mel.

“You hungry?” she asked.

“Always,” you replied, knowing it was the answer she wanted.

“C’mon then, hon, make some room. Can’t have you starving before you finish that patch of sky,” she said.

“You’re teasing but I saw you get excited when you finished the boat,” you said, clearing your pieces away from one end of the table.

Sitting across from her, the lights soft and warm, there was always something a little romantic to the feeling. Of course, you were sure it was all in your head but you couldn’t help but enjoy it, just a little, more than you should. She would look at you, those twinkling green eyes making you flush, and her smile had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

Still, every night felt like domestic bliss. Coming home with her, in the bubble of her house, the quiet night pressing in on the window, it was the kind of life you hadn’t known you’d been missing.

“You’re a goddess in the kitchen,” you said.

She’d waited for you to try her food, just as she always did before beginning to eat her own meal. Her foot brushed against yours under the table, making you jump. She chuckled, doing it again and you felt your cheeks heat and your heart stumble over itself.

Some days it almost felt like she was flirting with you.

“You’re sweet, hon,” she said.

You found your foot brushing against hers again, emboldened by her bashful response. Those green eyes flicked up to you, something twinkling in their depths. You weren’t sure how you looked but you were worried you’d shown your hand to her.

Dropping your foot back to the floor, you averted your gaze down to the plate of pasta she’d laid down in front of you. Her foot nudged yours before resting against it, length to length, the warmth of her skin seeping into yours.

She kept silent the rest of the meal, following your lead. You weren’t sure you could say anything, not with her foot against yours. Certainly not if she was watching you.

You remained silent as you cleared the table once she was done. Standing shoulder to shoulder at the sink, you did the washing up together, working in companionable tandem. You were so in tune with one another after living together for those few weeks, working together came without flaws.

“Are you gonna be watching our show tonight?” she asked into the silence.

You didn’t say no.

Sitting beside her on the sofa had always been trouble for you. Shoulder to shoulder, lit by nothing but the flickering screen, sharing a bowl of popcorn until your hands brushed together, it had always been a specific type of torture for you. The air always felt electric to you, and you knew it didn’t for her.

Except this night her head fell to your shoulder and her body curled towards yours. You froze until she admonished you, doing your best to relax your muscles. And there you stayed until she went to bed, feeling as if you had entered some kind of parallel universe.

Thursday night you’d put the entire odd experience behind you. She hadn’t mentioned it over breakfast or on the car ride over to school. On the ride back home she’d sung along to the radio, keeping her hands and feet to herself. You’d thought it was done. You thought you wouldn’t be tortured anymore.

But after you’d changed out of your school clothes and into something more comfortable, a knock sounded on your door. Opening the door, you found her in the hall, wet hair clinging to the skin of her neck, a towel wrapped around her body. You stumbled back a step, blinking at the vision before you.

“Um…” was all you managed to say.

“Have you seen my Eagles hoodie?” she asked.

“No,” you replied faintly, doing your best to not let your eyes wander further south than her chin.

“You sure? Because I can’t find it,” she said.

“Did you check in the washing?” you asked, hoping that would send her away.

“I thought you mighta borrowed it,” she said, lips tipping up into a small smirk, “you always seem to like it when I wear it. Can’t keep your hands off me.”

You felt your cheeks heat even further, deeper, almost uncomfortably. You looked down at your feet, terrified to be caught staring at her. You didn’t need to come across as a creep to her, ruining your friendship completely and irrevocably.

“I’m just teasing, hon,” she said, shoving your shoulder, “it’s probably in the wash.”

You were left staring at her retreating back as she left you be with your swirling thoughts and thundering heart, breathless from the image of all that skin on display. You were slow to close your door, leaning back against it as you breathed out a long sigh. Pressing a hand to your chest, you could feel the beating of your heart against your skin, practically bursting from your body.

The after image of her in the towel stayed in your mind until you could bring yourself to venture downstairs.

She was standing at the hob, stirring something on the stove, dressed in the familiar grey hoodie she’d been looking for. You blinked then stepped further in. She turned, smiling at you over her shoulder.

“Wanna help me out here?” she asked, seeming not bothered by the interaction upstairs.

“Sure,” you said, wanting to move past it too. Clearly, it hadn’t effected her the way it had effected you.

“Can you keep stirring this for me? I gotta start on the chopping,” she said.

“Sure,” you said again.

Your fingers brushed over hers as you took the wooden spoon from her. She paused a moment, eyes roving over your face. You held your breath, frozen, waiting, wondering what she was thinking.

“Keep stirring, hon,” she whispered, hand guiding yours, the skin of her palm warm against yours.

Slipping away, you kept your eyes on the pot, not wanting her to see the way you were beginning to come undone. One day you could brush off as weird, two made you wonder what was going on.

A warm hand landed on your hip, practically burning through the fabric of your leggings. A soft chin rested on your shoulder, looking over you as you continued stirring. You didn’t know what to do but keep stirring. If you focused on the warmth and the soft body brushing against your back you might melt into a puddle of goo.

“Good job, hon,” she murmured, lips brushing your earlobe.

A small squeak came from your parted lips and her throaty chuckle only made you feel as if you were crumbling in her arms. Those hands on your hips gently pushed you out of the way, fingers plucking the spoon from your hand.

“Go on, go finish that patch of sky. I can finish up here,” she said, sounding as if she had no idea the turmoil she was causing you.

You simply nodded and wandered back to the dining table. You sat, staring at the pieces, trying to reel your thoughts back in. A finger absently ran along the sides of the puzzle, feeling the gaps for the missing pieces. It wasn’t that Melissa wasn’t tactile, sometimes she could be, but this whole thing was something more. A step further.

A little closer to the kind of relationship you wanted with her.

That night she curled up against you again, cheek resting on your shoulder in the flickering light of the tv, hand resting on the thigh hers was resting against. You spent the entire time holding your breath until she slipped away to her room.

Friday left you on tenterhooks. Once again she was normal right up until your return home after a day at school. You were considering retreating into your room and not emerging for the rest of the night. It felt as if she was playing a game with you and you hadn’t been informed of the rules.

And yet you kind of revelled in the attention, if only because it might be your only chance to pretend she wanted you the way you wanted her.

You weren’t given the chance to make the choice for yourself.

A knock on the sounded on your bedroom door once again. You flung on a shirt, covering up as best you could while in the middle of changing out of your work clothes. Pulling open the door, you looked down, finding yourself in one of the lacy camisoles you’d been trying on last weekend when going out with friends for a drink. You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, trying to contain the groan you wanted to release. When you opened your eyes it was to find a smirk and sparkling green eyes turned in your direction.

“I was coming to offer you a glass of wine but it looks like you might be going out,” she said.

Her eyes swept down your body and if you were a betting person, you thought her gaze might have lingered on the cleavage on display. You found your back arching, just a moment, until her eyes swept back to yours and her smirk only deepened.

“Come on down, hon. You ain’t going anywhere in those sweat pants,” she said.

“I’ll take that wine,” you said, needing to drown your embarrassment in something.

You trailed behind her down the stairs into the kitchen. It truly was the heart of the home in Melissa’s house. You hoisted yourself onto a bench as she poured the wine. As she’d pointed out, there was no chance you were about to head out in the sweats you were wearing, even if the lacy cami on the top was more dressed up than was normal for slouching around the house on a Friday night.

When she turned back around, her eyes seemed to light up. She sauntered towards you, both hands holding glasses of red wine. Offering you one, she drew closer. You took a deep drink, needing it more and more as she took another step closer to you. Her thumb came up, running along your lower lip, wiping away a drop of wine before she sucked it into her mouth, maintaining eye contact with you.

“Mel.” You felt as if you’d woken up into a dream, breathless and unsure of what you could do.

“Yes, hon?” Her voice had turned so husky you weren’t sure you were existing in real life anymore.

When you didn’t reply she took one last step forward, right between your thighs. One hand ran up your leg making fire lick through your veins and your cheeks heat under her gaze. Her lips ticked up into a smirk again, seeming to enjoy the trouble you were having at forming a sentence.

“What are you doing?” you finally managed to get out in a whisper.

“Aren’t you enjoying it?” she asked.

“I don’t…” It came out strangled, “Mel, please.”

“I’m trying to seduce you, hon,” she said, “is it working?”

You nodded, not sure you were capable of forming words. Just the thought she was trying to seduce was enough to send you into a coma. You hadn’t thought she would ever look at you the way you looked at her.

“C’mon, hon. You can do better than that. Say it.”

“It’s working,” you whispered, not sure you could deny her anything in this moment.

“Good girl.”

She drew ever closer, breath ghosting over your lips. You froze, eyes fluttering shut, waiting to see what she was going to do. A brush of lips, a soft sigh, fingers clenching around your thigh. You barely had the chance to enjoy it before she was stepping back from you. The whimper that came from you was embarrassing but the look on her face when you opened your eyes was smug.

“Mel,” you said again, not sure there were any words other than her anymore.

“Do you know the hell you’ve put me through since moving in? You’re so fucking hot and I don’t think you even know it. You’re the exact woman my Nonna warned my cousin Vinny about,” she said, almost groaning.

“I haven’t been doing anything,” you said, addressing the only thing you could.

“Parading around in your tight leggings and these little tops and those fucking shorts in the morning. And when you’re thinking about something your tongue pokes out and then all I can think about is reaching over and kissing you. Also did you know you hum to yourself when you think no one’s around. Fuck, when I see you in the kitchen humming and dancing I just want to pin you to the closest surface and fuck you until you can’t do anything but say my name.”

You weren’t sure you had a good response.

“Yeah but you wear tight trousers pretty much every day at work,” was your only come back.

“But you weren’t looking at me in them and thinking what it would feel like to have my legs wrapped around you,” she replied as if it was the most natural answer in the world.

“I fucking was,” you snapped, at the end of your rope. She’d been playing with you long enough, “christ sake, Mel. I’ve been thinking about you since the first time we met. You’re literally the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen. I didn’t think you were interested.”

“Hon, I let you move into my house. What part of that says I’m not interested?” she demanded.

“I don’t know,” you said, sounding angrier than you expected, “you might have just been trying to be a good friend.”

“Then let me be very clear.” She took a step back between your legs again, “I am very interested in you.”

You legs tightened around her hips, holding her in place as you lent forward. Your lips ghosted over hers and you were surprised by the noise that came from her. It was whiny and needy and she was straining towards you. You chuckled, drawing back.

“If you plan on seducing me, I expect to be wined and dined,” you said, “no more fooling around until you put some effort in and prove I’m worth it.”

“You fucking brat,” she laughed, a hand curling around the back of your neck to pull you closer.

She kissed you deeply, tongue licking into your mouth, sending your thoughts spiralling away from you. Your knees tightened on her hips, your hands cupping her cheeks, indulging her for long enough to let her think she’d gotten her way. You nipped at her lower lip before drawing away.

“Wining and dining, Mel. I’m not some common whore,” you said, “I deserve romance.”

“There’s your wine,” she said, shoving the glass back into your hands, “I’ll make a start on dinner.”

You bit down on your lip, watching her slam down a knife on the cutting board, grumbling under her breath, trying to hold in a grin. The glare she gave you broke the flood gates as giggles tumbled from your lips.

“You keep on like this and I’ll stop seducing you,” she threatened.

“You stop and I’ll wear those shorts you like all weekend,” you retaliated.

You caught her arm, drawing her in for another kiss, just enough to remind her what was waiting. She softened, gently squeezing your leg before going back to cooking. You watched her, finding yourself falling more and more for her, the anticipation delicious, the woman beautiful.

And maybe moving into her home was the best thing to ever happen to you.

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti imagine

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papayatori · 7 months

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Don’t blink! (P1)

LN4 x fém!reader

Warnings: none 🤭

Intro: Y/n, an amateur photographer who was simply skimming through emails, hoping to find some sort of work, accidentally stumbled upon a job offer from the McLaren F1 team. After working closely with the two drivers she had grown up watching and hearing about her entire life,(and almost throwing up on the floor a couple of times), y/n has slowly started to realize that her love for McLaren, and possibly her love for photography, had slowly started to morph into love for a certain driver.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Four years have gone by rather quickly since I moved out of my parent’s house on the countryside. I’ve moved onto London to be a part of their photography schools. I’ve been posting my photos since I was able to get a hold of a camera, praying that I might be accepted into one of their schools once I graduated, and I suppose it all paid off.

Funny how life works, huh?

I opened my laptop, hoping to sort through some of these unopened spam emails, possibly even find some sort of job offer somewhere. I took a sip of my coffee and began reading through the unopened heaps of trash.

I skimmed through, barely giving them a second thought before hitting the ‘delete’ button in the side.

“YouTube, Tumblr, McLaren-“

I nearly spat out my coffee. I swallowed deeply, coughing a little on the inhale.

“Sorry, what?” I asked no one in particular.

At first I thought it was an ad of some sort, as I was known for buying McLaren merchandise whenever I had the extra funds. Genuinely, I thought I read the email wrong.

“A job offer..?” A smile made its way to my face, one that held all of my nerves on full display.

Why the hell was McLaren asking me to do a photoshoot of their team?

…

Here I was, standing in the offices of the McLaren F1 team, waiting for someone to tell me where I needed to go. I took in the shiny white floors, the huge windows overlooking the scenery outside, the McLaren’s in display in the lobby for all to see their beauty.

I was about to throw up all over these pristine, white floors.

Before I spilled my breakfast all over the floor, I was ushered into a room near the middle of the building, one that was large and full of lights and professional equipment that once again made me question the need for an amateur photographer like myself. I looked around the room with my jaw to the floor, seeing stars over just how much fun someone could have with all of these cameras.

I really don’t have much of a life, do I?

“You know, I don’t know how to use any of this stuff, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to figure out, but I figured you’d probably be able to work it better than I could.” I turned to the sound of a somewhat familiar Zak Brown.

My dad, before he retired, worked alongside Zak closely at McLaren Automotive. Ironically enough, I’d never really met the man who ran my favorite F1 team until this very moment. I had heard stories of all sorts of great things happening behind closed doors, got all of the latest McLaren news from my dad, and had never even set foot inside this building before today.

“I think i know just about as much as you do when it comes to all of the fancy equipment.” I said, gesturing to my small camera bag on my hip. “This is about as far as my knowledge goes when it comes to these sorts of things.” Zak smiled.

“Feel free to use it. Your dad used to tell me stories about your ‘photo shoots’ with the family, ‘heard those could get a little crazy.”

I laughed at that, remembering the silly holiday get togethers me, mum, and dad used to have. I remembered the time when I had them both on the porch swing for a photo, and right as I went to take the photo, my dad would blink every time. He had done this so often that I had started to wonder if he was doing it on purpose.

A loud laugh ripped me out of my memories. I realigned my gaze with the two young men that had just entered the room, the first one tripping over the second one’s leg. He locked eyes with me as he fell to the floor, grin fading only slightly as he did so. We stayed locked for a moment that felt like years, just staring into the each other. That’s when I recognized him to be the only person I was nervous about meeting.

I nearly threw up again.

“Nice of you to finally show up.” Zak joked with the two.

Lando looked up in surprise, as if not quite realizing Zak was standing on the other side of the room. Oscar just continued laughing at Lando’s shocked state on the floor. Lando stood up with a sheepish grin that they both sent my way. They acted as if they weren’t famous racing drivers who could have anyone they wanted.

As if they were the nervous ones.

“Hello.” I sent a small wave in their direction, praying Zak would step in and save me.

“Lando, Oscar, this is y/n. She’s going to be doing the shoot today.”

Lando stood up finally, proud and tall, eyeing me like he had to prove himself to me. He sent me a grin, one that would tear my heart to pieces if I saw it too often, and then walked towards me. Oscar seemingly got the memo and followed him along after a short pause to assess the situation. I smiled at Lando as he extended his hand out for me to shake.

“Nice to meet you, darling. I can’t wait to start.” His grin never left his expression as I took his hand.

Had Lando Norris just called me darling?

He squeezed harder than I thought he would, leaving a burn behind where his hand had previously been. The expression on my face must have given me away, the heat rising in my traitorous cheeks would never let me get away with the butterflies from his touch. Not to mention, this bastard knew what he was doing.

Though, I didn’t exactly mind.

I suppose my face had started to turn a darker shade of crimson than I had thought , because Zak sent him a look that I could only recognize as the ‘protective father’ look.

Lando’s only response was a challenging grin.

“Shall we get started, boys?” I asked, hoping to draw attention away from me.

“Where do you want us?” Oscar spoke, giving his hand for me to shake as well. I smiled, thankful things were working in my favor for the moment.

“Follow me.”

…

For the next three hours, Lando, Oscar, and myself we’re running around the studio and attempting to find some sort of style that worked for the boys. I had gone through the rack of clothing multiple times and had only gotten a few decent pictures of the two in the process. I had started to wonder if we’d ever get any actual progress on the task at hand.

It is exceedingly difficult to focus on the task at hand when you keep making eye contact with Lando Norris.

Lando and Oscar had insisted that we all take a break for a while, which I had spent mostly rummaging through the clothes provided. Lando was lying on the ground in front of the backdrop. I couldn’t help but take a glance every now and then, watching the way his chest moved as he breathed, minding the perfectly placed curl on his forehead. He looked too incredibly peaceful for me to be rummaging around over here instead of taking the given opportunity. I stood up, grabbing my camera and walking slightly over to the side. If Lando was finally at peace, I should be taking advantage of this. I took a few snaps from the side, wandering from different angles and catching him in his state of beautiful tranquility.

The LN4 girlies were absolutely going to love these.

At about the same time I had finished with Lando, Oscar stood up to unzip his leather jacket, saying something to Lando in the process. I smiled.

“Don’t blink.” I mumbled to myself.

I had not only, single handedly taken the perfect photos for McLarens Instagram, but also taken the perfect photos for the fan girls on twitter.

I saw this as a win in my part.

“Alright boys, I think I’ve got what I need.” I triumphantly raised my camera in the air, receiving two incredibly confused looks from the boys.

“I thought we weren’t finished?” Lando looked up at me with an almost saddened expression, standing to come see what I had gathered. I showed them both the photos, casually skipping over the ones of Lando that I had taken last minute. He didn’t need to see those.

“Holy shit, you’re better at this than Zak described.” Lando gave me a goofy grin that made me blush.

“I can’t take all the credit. You both helped me out in the end, I thought I was finished!” We all laughed a bit, feeling the tension ease as we came to a close.

“Well, if we’re done here, I’ve got a date tonight with my girlfriend, I’ll see you all later?” Oscar said, pulling his jacket back over his shoulders. I smiled.

“It was nice meeting you! Have fun.” He smiled back, sending a wave to the both of us. As he walked out of the room, Lando’s attention was redirected back at my camera. He plucked it out of my hands, skimming through the photos on his own.

“You know, for someone who knows so much about us, I don’t even know your name.” He gave me a sideways glance, insisting I speak.

“My name is y/n.” I said with a smirk. “And I don’t know all that much about either of you, I’m only here for the job” I heard him chuckle from beside me.

“Even so, you know a lot about how to take pictures of someone without them realizing it” he smirked, shoving the camera back in my direction, revealing the breathtaking photos I took of him on the floor earlier.

I really didn’t think this part through.

“I mean, I had to use an opportunity when it came to me. Twitter is going to love those.” I tried to play it off as if I had taken these with the intention of work rather than just attempting to capture his beauty.

“I’m sure you know loads about that.” He winked at me.

With a groan, I attempted to snatch the camera back, though his hold held firm. I gave him an annoyed look, even though I was slightly amused.

“You’re only proving my point further, darling.” I tried pulling the camera again, hoping to have better luck this time. I mentally cursed his stupidly attractive hands.

Accepting defeat, I let out a sigh.

“What do I have to do to get that camera back from you, Lando.” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms slightly. He tilted his head as if to show he was thinking. His lashes fluttered as he blinked, revealing his beautiful green eyes, the ones any girl could find themselves lost in in a matter of moments. I felt the butterflies settling in my stomach as he finally replied, pulling me from my daydreaming.

“I think it’s a little unfair that Oscar is going on a date tonight and I’m not. So, let me take you to dinner. Then you can have your camera back.”

I blinked a few times, clearly confused.

“Im sorry, tonight?” I asked, starstruck.

“Well, I was thinking so, yeah. Unless you don’t really want your camera back.” Lando smirked a little in my direction.

My mind was racing, why was he asking me to dinner? All he had to do was hand me the camera back. Everything would have been settled then, and I wouldn’t have to see that breathtaking smile in person ever again. I wouldn’t have to look into his eyes or feel the butterflies that he somehow caused me to have. Hell, I’d just met the guy.

Oddly enough, I was about to go on a date with him.

“Alright, but I want my camera back.” I went to pull it from his grasp one more time, expecting to have it back in the safety of my pack.

“After the date.”

My jaw dropped to the floor. Was I hearing him right?

“Okay, after the date.” I agreed, only to see him take the bag from my side, place the camera in it, and place the bag on his shoulder. I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth again. “I have my own terms, however.”

He gave me a playful glare. “I didn’t agree to that, ma’am.” I chuckled, my hands finding my hips.

“It wasn’t a suggestion sir.” I mocked him with a playful grin. “You buy, I’m still in school. I think it’s a fair offer.” Shaking his head and trying to conceal his grin, he extended his hand.

“Deal.”

#don’t blink #f1 x reader #mclaren #lando norris #landoscar #lando x reader #lando x you #mclaren f1 #mclaren formula 1 #f1 x y/n #formula 1 #oscar piastri #zak brown #f1 x female reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1

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m1lflov3rrr · 1 year

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For the First Time

I wrote this inspired by the song For the First Time - Mac Demarco :)

Pairing: Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Warnings: mutual pining, old love, angst, fluff

Word count: 3.1k

Summary: You and her were the best of friends (if not even more) during your time at Nevemore… You lost contact after graduating. Now, you meet her again after 20 years.

A/N: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Hope you enjoy :)

”Can you believe we’re graduating tomorrow?” You asked your best friend, Larissa.

You were laying under a willow, your favourite spot to hang out together. Her back was resting against the magnificent tree, your back pressed against her front, her hands wrapped around you.

”I really can’t… All of it is coming to an end tomorrow…” She whispered sentimentally.

You turned around slightly to meet her gaze, ”Hey, don’t say that. It’s not an end of anything. It’s simply a new chapter in our lives, Rissa.”

She sighed, looking at the school from a distance. ”Just promise me you won’t leave me. Please don’t forget me… I couldn’t bear losing you.”

You smiled softly as you cupped her cheek, focusing her gaze back to you as her cheeks flushed red.

”Cross my heart.”

”Larissa Weems!” You watched proudly as your greatest friend took long strides across the stage, shaking hands and receiving her diploma. She looked so beautiful up there, you thought. You cheered for her louder than anyone else did.

And before you knew it, ”Y/N L/N!”

You let out a shaky breath and got up on the stage, shaking the hands of your professors and receiving your own diploma. The crowd cheered at you, but your eyes were only fixated on Larissa, who was clapping, her smile full of pride as tears flowed freely down her cheeks, watching you. You smiled brightly at her and waved, curtsying on the stage for everyone before walking off.

”We did it!!!” You yell excitedly as you basically jump to each other.

”We did,” She whispers, tightening her hold on you, never seeming to want to let go. And neither did you.

You stayed like that for god knows how long. Until you felt like you had to tell her what you’d been dreading for the past few weeks. You just couldn’t bring yourself to tell her earlier.

”I’m leaving tomorrow,” You whispered almost inaudibly.

You felt how her body physically froze, and she pulled away slightly to meet your gaze. She looked confused and scared.

”Rissa, I- They’ve accepted me in. I’m leaving to Oxford to study law, to fulfill the dream I’ve always had.” You said with a sad smile, knowing how hard it must be for the taller girl, because it certainly was for you.

”W-what?” She let out a shaky breath. You were slipping away from her faster than she could’ve ever imagined. She wasn’t ready for it, not yet.

”I’ll call you every day, I promise.” You said, taking her face in your hands.

Tears of sadness were now flowing down her cheeks, as she whispered desperately with her last strength, ”Please don’t leave me.”

You smiled softly, as you whispered ”I love you, Larissa Weems,” and kissed her softly.

She seemed shocked, but instantly responded to the kiss, never wanting to let go. That loving, affectionate and tender moment lasted as long as it could, until you both had to pull away for air.

She knew this was it. She realized that you might not ever see each other again.

”I love you too,” She whispered back.

At first, you did call every day. You’d even sent her letters and gift boxes with things from England to remember you by. She always said how much she missed you and wished you were there with her. You even planned for her to come visit you, but just as she was about to buy the plane ticket, she had received an email telling her she’d been accepted to study teaching across the country. You were on video call with her when it happened. You were happy for her, but at the same time sad as you realized she couldn’t be able to visit you.

And slowly, the calls were becoming less frequent and you didn’t even text that much anymore, the how are you’s were becoming a once a month thing. It hurt you so much, knowing how she probably had moved on and found someone better in her life. The plans you had made weren’t going to come to life.

After a year, you didn’t call or text anymore.

”Y/N, come by my office for a second, will you? We have a new lawsuit and I need to inform you the details.” Your boss, Jeff, asked you.

”I’ll be there in a sec!”

You went into the office and saw Samantha and Richard, your co-workers there, too. You smiled at them, sitting down.

”Alright, I know it’s a bit far away, but we have a new client reaching out to us all the way from Vermont.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. Your firm was located in Atlanta, Georgia, several states away from Vermont. Sure, your firm was one of the finest in the country, you’d had clients from across the country before, too.

”What’s the case?” Richard asked.

”The principal of Nevermore Academy has contacted us about the situation, apparently the school is under construction after a disaster and they’re having some troubles with the construction company.”

Your jaw dropped.

”What kind of-” Samantha started but you cut her off in your state of shock.

”Wait, Nevermore Academy?! Like, the one in Jericho?!” You asked the dumb question to know if you’d just heard wrong.

Jeff looked at you weirdly, ”Yes, is there a problem?”

”N-no! No, it’s just I grew up there. It’s a funny coincidence, that’s all. Nothing wrong with it, go on!”

”Alright, well, I’ve chosen you three to go over there, your flights are booked for tomorrow night.”

You had settled in a motel in Jericho, now leaving to Nevermore by taxi. You were fidgeting with your bracelet and your rings, trying to calm yourself down. You knew you wouldn’t see anyone you knew, but simply being reminded by that place took you to a path down memory lane. It was hard returning after 20 years.

When you arrived, you didn’t immediately get out of the car. You felt a hand on your knee - Samantha was looking at you worriedly. ”Hey, are you okay? You seem pretty nervous.”

You shot her a small smile, ”I’m fine, I just haven’t been here for such a long time.”

She chuckled, ”I get it, but hey, we’re here right by your side. You got this, okay?”

You nodded and exited the car. You entered the school halls and Richard stopped a blonde-haired girl with pink and blue highlights. ”Excuse me, miss. You don’t happen to know where the principal’s office is? We’re here for a meeting with her.”

It’s not like you didn’t know the way there - you just felt like you couldn’t speak. Being there brought back too many memories, it was almost too overwhelming.

The girl smiled brightly at you three, ”Of course, I’ll show you, follow me!” She said enthusiastically as you began following her through the hallways.

Soon, you were stopped in front of large oak doors. Looking back, you should’ve paid more attention and read the golden plague. You didn’t.

”Thank you a thousand times for your help. It was very kind of you.” You said with a smile to the girl, who just smiled back and nodded, saying it’s a pleasure and waving you off as she was already rounding a courner.

Richard knocked on the door, and a come in was heard.

He entered first, followed by Samantha and lastly, you. Your attention was on your phone, responding to a few emails. You didn’t even bother looking up at the principal. Not today.

”Welcome to Nevermore Academy. Thank you for travelling all the way here, it is very much appreciated.” Started a somehow familiar voice, with an even more familiar rich accent. You frowned but thought you were just imagining things.

”I am Larissa Weems, the Headmistress of Nevermore Academy.”

Your entire world froze at those words. Your eyes widened as you slowly rose your gaze up to meet hers, after all these years. She was looking at Richard and Samantha, who had already stepped forward and were shaking her hand.

You stepped cautiously forward also, filled with anticipation and fear. What if she didn’t recognize or remember you?

But that theory quickly proved itself as false, as when Larissa’s gaze moved from your co-workers to you. Her gaze lingered for a second, she squinted her eyes and tried to connect the dots.

And she immediately did.

Her smile dropped and she let out a shaky breath as she realized it was really you. You watched her as she drank your more matured form in. You were dressed more elegantly, in a dark blue suit with your hair styled and your makeup done almost professionally. You had certainly had a glow up, but you were beautiful before, too.

Larissa looked as beautiful as ever. Just like she did all those years ago. She had aged like fine wine. She still had that same glorious style that you always admired on her.

Your little moment was interrupted by Richard’s awkward clearing of a throat.

”Richard Sanders.” He said with a nod, causing Larissa to practically rip her eyes off of you.

She nodded with a smile.

”Samantha Byrnes.” Samantha introduced herself.

And now you realized all eyes were on you again, your co-workers staring at you expectantly to introduce yourself and not seem rude. They didn’t know.

But you did. And so did Larissa.

You didn’t know if you were going to just pretend like this was the first time you just met. Because all you wanted right now was to run into her arms and hug her and tell her how much you’d missed her and love her and how you never want to be apart from her again-

”Y/N L/N.” You said monotonely, like a robot. You decided to play safe and act professional around your co-workers.

Larissa’s face dropped and she looked disappointed, sad. But quickly replaced it with that all-too-familiar polite smile as you all sat down across from her.

The universe had really just punched you in the face.

”Y/N, I’m so sorry but I need to head back, my kid has broken his leg, do you think you and Richard could handle this together?” Samantha storms in your room, startling you from your thoughts.

”Oh, uh, yeah, of course. Go, we’ll be fine. I hope little Alfie’s okay. Give him my best!”

She smiles at you, ”Thank you, Y/N. I really wouldn’t leave if it wasn’t an emergency.”

You nodded understandingly. ”I know, Sam. Have a safe trip back, we’ll be just fine.”

Now it was just you and Richard. Which made the task even harder, as you’d have to interact more with Larissa now that Samantha wasn’t there anymore.

You took a shower to calm your thoughts, slipped into your pyjamas and then you heard a knock on your door. You wondered who it’d be at this hour - Richard, looking rather uncomfortable.

”Rick? You alright?” You questioned, observing his unusual demeanor.

He sighed. ”Y/N, Jeff has asked me back at the office immediately. He had an issue with the bank, and as I’m also the accountant for the firm, I really can’t not go. I’m really sorry, I know Samantha left too, do you think you could handle this alone?”

You groaned internally. This was just your luck. Normally, you’d be thriving at a lawsuit like this. You were, without a doubt, one of the most succesful lawyers in the whole country, this should be a piece of cake for you. If only your emotions weren’t involved.

”I guess I’ll be fine. Do you really need to go?”

He grimaced, feeling bad for you. ”I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t a crisis. Y/N, the firm needs my help right now, it’s pretty serious.”

You thought for a second, ”I guess I’ll be fine.”

”Thank you, and I’m really sorry again.”

You waved it off, ”No biggie, just go.”

And then it was just you. This could easily be the hardest thing you’d ever done in your job. Separating your emotions and work life. Usually it was easy for you, but not this time.

You didn’t sleep that night, too busy dreading about the interactions you would have to deal with tomorrow.

Your stomach turned as you walked along the all too familiar hallways. You were even more nervous than yesterday, as now you knew what was about to come.

You hesitantly knocked on the door and heard her telling you to come in, her voice sending chills down your spine. You sighed and reluctantly went inside.

”Good morning,” You breathed out, causing the blonde to immediately snap her head to look at you.

You noticed the faintest smile on her face for a split second as she looked deep into your eyes, just like she did all those years ago. But that ended as soon as is started as her eyes were already searching for your co-workers.

”Good morning, where are the others?” She asked, looking at you confusedly.

You rubbed the back of your neck, ”They had to go back, both had some kind of an emergency. So, you’re stuck with me now.”

She nodded as the smile appeared back on her face, this time slightly bigger. ”I wouldn’t want it any other way,” She whispered barely audibly.

You felt yourself blushing at her words, clearing your throat and sitting down as you searched for the folder in your bag.

”So, I’d like for you to look at this,” You said as you gave the folder to her.

She smiled and nodded, starting to read everything carefully. This was the perfect chance for you to admire her beauty, how you admired that woman. The subtle wrinkles on the outer corners of her eyes and on her forehead and the more visible smile lines. She was absolutely breathtaking, her presence was enough to make you swoon, how her mere gaze was enough to make you melt into-

”It’s rude to stare, Y/N.” Larissa said, not taking her eyes off the papers in front of her.

Your eyes widened as you realized you had gotten caught. ”I- I wasn’t staring.”

Larissa finally put the papers aside, as she intertwined her fingers and laid them back on the table, leaning forwards so her entire attention was on you now, just like it used to be.

”Y/N, you and I both know very well that you can’t bring yourself to lie to me. At least believably.”

You were shrinking on your seat, this was way too embarassing for your liking. You needed to change the subject or you would burst.

”I, uh- So, h-how do the papers look? Are they to your liking?”

Larissa looked a little taken aback by your sudden change of subject, narrowing her eyes and parting her lips as if to decide whether to continue speaking to you as Larissa, or to act like the professional Principal Weems. With a sentimental sigh, she decided on the latter one. She had to put her emotions aside for this to work.

And that’s how it went for the next few days. Every day you would go into her office, discuss about the contract and you had arranged a meeting with the head pf the construction company for next week.

Now, it was Friday and you and Larissa would be meeting one last time before next Monday’s important meeting.

”Hello,” You greeted her with a smile as you sat down.

She smiled tenderly back at you, nodding her head and greeting you back.

”So, I was just coming by to drop these files and also this introductory contract, which you might all agree on best case scenario.”

She nodded and took the files from you. ”Thank you, Ms L/N.”

That made your heart drop. During your time here, not once had she called you that. It wouldn’t be the same darling as it used to be, just your name. But never had she once called you by your last name.

You felt an uncomfortable twist in your stomach, like you were on the verge pf tears. You didn’t know why after all these years, she still had that affect on you. Like your whole world depended on her words.

Larissa didn’t look comfortable either. She had felt immediately weird after calling you that so professionally. She wished she could just call you darling, because even after all these years, you still remained her darling.

The longing eye contact made your eyes blurry with tears, as you whispered almost inaudibly, that- ”Please don’t.”

She looked at you with the exact same expression of despair.

You shook your head to yourself and grabbed your bag, ”Well, I assume everything is now done. I’ll see you on Monday, Ms Weems.” You didn’t know if you were talking about the case or something else, but either way you began to make your way to the exit doors of her office.

”Darling, wait.”

That made you stop dead in your tracks. You weren’t sure if you heard it right. You hadn’t even heard that name in 20 years. And how fucking much you had missed it.

A hopeful glint in your eyes caused you to turn around, to meet the woman not sitting behind her desk anymore, but right in front of you.

You looked at each other so longingly, and some subconscious force in you caused you to take her hands into yours. She didn’t pull them away, instead she squeezed on them to assure you everything.

And she smiled the most genuine, but at the same time fragile smile.

And that made you break. You threw yourself in her arms as she tightly wrapped her arms around you to ensure you’re never leaving her again.

It was the best feeling you’d ever felt. After all these years you had longed for this to happen, it now did. Fate had brought you back together. That meant that you and her were supposed to be what you always wanted to be, together.

”God, I’ve missed you so much, Rissa, you have no idea,” You sobbed lightly in her arms as tears were silently flooding her cheeks, too.

She chuckled, ”I haven’t heard that name in decades. I missed you too, darling, more than life.”

And you stayed like that for so long that you lost track of time. Neither of you seemed to want to let go of the other. So, you simply didn’t. Until-

”Darling?” Larissa started as she was stroking your hair gently.

”Mhhm?” You hummed against her shoulder.

”Would you like to go out with me?” She asked, suddenly nervous.

And now, like you should have done all those years ago, you wasted absolutely no time to answer with the biggest smile; ”Yes, Rissa, I would love to.”

#i almost cried writing this #imo this is so beautiful #listen to the song (and cry)#should i make a part two?#larissa weems #gwendoline christie #wednesday #principal weems #larissa x reader #gwendolineuniverse #larissa weems x female reader #larissa weems x reader #principal weems x reader #ms weems x reader #Spotify

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averagewriter-inthedark · 2 years

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Rooster’s Ballerina 🩰 | Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw Headcanon

Link to my TGM Masterlist

Rooster dating a professional ballerina would look like:

Majoring in dance at UVA, you met Rooster when he and some of his buddies decided to attend the university’s annual ballet rendition of “The Nutcracker,” their senior year because his friend was dating a dance student. You played the Sugar Plum Fairy & to be honest, Rooster was close to falling asleep until it his eyes landed on you, captivating the future pilot during your solo. Rooster could not keep his eyes off of you, leaning toward is friend to ask, “who’s she?” His friend replied, “oh that’s, Y/n L/n. She’s a junior I believe—and word on the street is the New York City Ballet Company has their eyes on her for when she graduates.” Rooster didn’t have to be a dancer to know that was a big deal, just the way his friend said it was enough to figure out the company was the best of the best. Kinda like how Top Gun was the best of the best for fighter pilots.

Your talent for the art of ballet was evident right from the moment you stepped foot in a ballet studio. So much so that your parents homeschooled you up until high school so you could dedicate all your time and energy into ballet. At one point you got the chance to audition for Juliard, but an injury to your ankle resulted in you having to miss out. Thankfully UVA had sent a scout to your hometown after your instructor emailed a bunch of universities to come see you perform when you were healed, and they offered you a full ride under their program.

After the show ended, Rooster couldn’t get you out of his mind. Even when he left to his apartment and throughout winter break, he often thought of you and the way you glided across the stage. The sparkles of your outfit shined against the light, pulling in everyone’s attention. Smile bright and eyes glowing, you were like a siren luring him in, moving so effortlessly Rooster never wanted you to stop. He could watch you dance forever.

Spring semester came around and Rooster couldn’t believe his luck when you were standing behind him in the Starbucks early one morning. Feeling bold, he whispered to the cashier, “this is to cover the lady behind me,” handing over an extra $10 bill on top of the payment for his order. The cashier gave a knowing look, Bradley moving to the side to wait for his coffee and trying (but failing) to not watch your reaction. A smirk had already made its way onto his face when you strolled up, “i don’t know if I should feel flattered or offended that you payed for my drink, Mr…..” “Bradley Bradshaw.” “Well, Bradley, care to explain why over our cups of coffee?”

Basically Rooster came clean to you saying he was the friend of your classmates boyfriend and saw you perform at the winter recital. “I’m sorry if you find it weird, but when I recognized you in line….I felt drawn to you. I just would love to get to know you better if you’d let me.” Needless to say that unintentional coffee date was the beginning of your love story with Bradley. You two were inseparable after that, falling in love each day and knowing you two were each other’s soulmate.

You attended his graduation and commission ceremonies and Bradley went to every recital/show you were in. Sometimes he’d pick you up from practice and would just watch you with absolute awe, other times he’d ask to lift you just for the hell of it. Always bringing you snacks, Bradley would scold you if you missed a meal because you were in a hurry or had a busy day and forgot. “Babydoll you gotta be fed before you train otherwise you’ll be tired quicker and feeling like crap.” You weren’t on a diet or anything so sometimes he’d bring you fast food or pick up a sandwich/salad at a grocery store just so you has some food in you.

Bradley was so supportive of you, and you were of him. A difficult time in your relationship was having to be long distance for about three years after you graduated. Bradley was finished with flight school, now an active duty naval fighter pilot which had him bouncing between bases whenever an assignment came up. You were recruited to the New York City Ballet Company, a dream of yours since beginning ballet, and was not going to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime. That meant you would be living in New York, while Bradley could end up who knows where. Thankfully his first duty station was on the east coast so he got to visit you a lot. And Rooster never missed a show—especially when you were the lead role. He was your biggest fan, giving you a standing ovation when no else would. “You were incredible, babydoll. The best ballerina out there—I’m so proud of you.”

Rooster is the type of guy who would have your picture on his desk/nightstand. The one at work is you during your performance of Swan Lake, which he loves to brag about when coworkers point it out. “Oh that’s my ballerina. She’s amazing—the best in the country.” On his nightstand is a black and white photo of you during practice up on arabesque, smiling at the camera. It’s one of his favorites and also keeps it as his screensaver.

After doing some time with the NYC Ballet Company, you wanted to be closer to Rooster, satisfied you lived your dream of dancing with the best dance company in the country, and had the honor of being the lead in Swan Lake & Gisele, while also being the Sugar Plum Fairy and Snow Queen in The Nutcracker. There were plenty of other dance companies in the country, plus you always dreamed of opening your own dance studio—but that would come once Rooster retires and you two found a place to settle.

So, after you left the NYC Ballet Company you and Rooster got married after 5 years of dating and you followed him wherever he went. When he went to San Diego for Top Gun, you found a studio where the owner allowed you to practice free of charge if you helped teach the students. Of course you agreed and it just reaffirmed your dream of opening your own studio. The kids were so amazing and you loved sharing the art of ballet with them. Many asked for you to tell stories of your time in New York & asked you to dance for them after their lessons concluded. “What’s your favorite ballet, Miss. Y/n?” “Oh that is difficult to answer. I love all of them, but my absolute favorite of all time is Swan Lake.”

After several years of traveling with Rooster, he could tell you were longing to be part of a company again. So when the orders came he was assigned to the Strike Fighter Squadron 87 at NAS Oceana, he looked to the skies and thanked whoever above because it meant you could go back to New York & he would be in Virginia again. You nearly cried when he told you, especially when he encouraged to audition again, “really? You’re sure you wont mind? I know we talked about—.” “Baby, you’ve spent your whole life wanting to dance for them—you left once to support me, now i’m going to support you. We survived doing three years of it, we can do it again and I will be at every show cheering you on.”

Rooster kept his promise. You couldn’t believe the company accepted you back again, especially after so many years had passed and you weren’t 22-24 anymore. You were now pushing early thirties—but still danced like you did in college. A lot of the younger girls and guys looked up to you, asking for advice or a second opinion on where improvement was needed. Every Friday night Rooster was leaving Virginia for New York & would stay the entire weekend. You two would always explore, go on dates, and Rooster would even sit in on your afternoon practice—-which the younger girls would get flustered much to your amusement. “Your husband is very handsome, Y/n.” “I love how he’s so supportive of you. I wish my boyfriend was like that.” “Honey, if your man isn’t supportive of you and your career, then you deserve better.”

When Rooster was selected for the 2019 Top Gun special detachment, it had only been two years since you returned to NYC. Rooster encouraged you to stay, not wanting you to leave again after you’d been selected as the Sugar Plum Fairy once again for the upcoming performance of ‘The Nutcracker’. “It’s three weeks, Y/n. Before you know it I’ll be back. They wouldn’t have called me if they didn’t think I could get the job done.” “If they’re not telling you the details right now then it’s gotta be serious, Bradley. What if—what if I never you see you again. You’re my husband dammit—I’m not gonna sit here, on the other end of the country, worried out of my mind.”

In the end he won the argument, but on the condition he kept you updated with the details of the mission. FaceTimes were every night, with Rooster telling you on day one of training that Maverick was the instructor. You’d never met the man, meeting Bradley after their falling out, but had knowledge of all their history. When he told you Phoenix was there you had a sense of relief. Natasha was someone you could trust and would tell you if Rooster was hiding something. Worry filled you at the mention of Hangman being a candidate, well aware the pilot was a ‘every man for himself.’ You never formally met him, but the stories were enough for you to not trust him to have your husbands back.

Speaking of worry, you were worried to the point of throwing up when Rooster told you he was selected for the mission after confessing it was so high-risk, the higher up’s saw it as a suicide mission. Tears were shed over the phone, Rooster promising to come back to you. “I promise, baby, im gonna come home to you. I have to so I can watch you dance—I promised you all those years ago i would never miss a show.”

When he did return home, you nearly slapped him after he told you what he did. Disobeying orders to save Maverick and getting shot down. You were furious with him. “Were you out of your mind?! You could’ve fucking died, Bradley!!! What the hell were you thinking?!” “Mav told me not to think……”

A month later it was Christmas in New York. The night of the show you were backstage in your robe with hair and makeup done when the stage assistant said, “Mrs. Bradshaw, there’s some people here for you.” Following them out, your jaw dropped at the sight of the group standing in the backstage lounge. Rooster, Maverick and a group of gentleman—including Hangman—were dressed in their Dress Blues, each holding a red rose, and Phoenix wearing a gorgeous red gown. “Oh my gosh, what is this?!” You went to Rooster’s embrace, the man kissing your cheek to not mess up your lipstick. Taking the rose, you then greeted Nat—who also had a rose.

After the mission was a success, Rooster let it skip he was married when he said, “although I survived, I feel my wife is gonna kill me when I tell her what I did.” Immediately everyone—including Mav—was like, “Hold up, you got a wife?!” That then had an hour long monologue from Rooster basically telling y’all’s love story….and making it well known you were one of the best ballerinas in the country. “Damn, Bradshaw,” some said when he showed the program of the show you headlines. “Can I have some of that game you have?” The second he mentioned you had a performance coming up the squad was like, “looks like we’re going on a road-trip to see a ballet show.”

Introducing you to the squad, Bob, Fanboy, Hangman, Coyote, and Payback each shook your hand and presented the rose. You pretty much had a bouquet at that point with all of them together. “So nice to meet the lady who captured Bradshaw’s heart,” Hangman smiled, surprising you with how genuine he was. When you looked at Bradley, his nod signified he was cool with the pilot, so you welcomed Hangman with an open mind. Mav was really excited to meet you, shaking your hand while saying, “it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, Y/n—.” You surprised the captain by pulling him into a hug, “thank you. Thank you for saving him.”

After some small talk and wishing you luck, you were called to dress and the audience was to take their seats. Rooster gave you a soft kiss, whispering, “you’re going to do amazing, baby. Good luck and dance your heart out.” Thanking him, you kissed him again and waved goodbye as the stage assistant ushered them to their seats.

Rooster wasn’t kidding when he told the squad you were one of best ballerinas in the country. You lived up to the reputation he had given you. Dancing to the music, the light bouncing off the sparkles of your outfit, they were captivated by you, just like Rooster was the first time he saw you dance. “Wow,” they all murmured during your solo. Hangman leaned into Coyote to whisper, “well there’s one thing for sure, if they have babies, they’re gonna be talented in whatever they do.”

It was deja vu for Rooster, coming full circle because once again he watched you as the Sugar Plum Fairy—only this time you were his wife and soulmate, not just the girl he admired and only knew by name. You were his ballerina.

……………..

TGM Tag list: @avaleineandafryingpan, @caitsymichelle13, @poppyalice2001

#bradley bradshaw headcanon #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw #lt bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick headcanon #top gun maverick imagine #top gun maverick fanfiction #top gun maverick #dancer!reader #fluff #ballerina!reader #rooster headcanon #rooster imagine #rooster x reader

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theworldoffostering · 5 months

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You guys, I feel like I’m drowning. These past three weeks have felt unmanageable to me. Like, I don’t know how to keep going.

I’m walking alongside (trying the best I know how) the older girls as one navigates this break up and the other tries to transition to college. We got DD a car, but it still needs a few repairs. She was here all afternoon today working on it with DH.

I am waiting for the updated version of Ms. 6’s IEP to hit my inbox to send it off to the school. I am also working on her housing contract. Then I think I can step back for a few weeks. Still trying to figure out what’s going on with graduation. Her mom is back to letting her go to it and maybe allow her to stay for dinner, but it’s Memorial Day weekend and I don’t want to put a deposit down for a dinner somewhere only to have her not be allowed to attend at the last minute. I also don’t want to disappoint her. I’m unsure of how to proceed, so I’m just sort of frozen.

DS takes his civics test next week. You have to pass in order to graduate high school. He has prepared and seems like he will do well. He’s also pole vaulting and doing well at that for being a novice and having very little practice time due to the crummy weather we’ve been having.

Work is a lot right now. It’s to be expected due to the time of year. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s a lot to slog through.

DH was verbally offered a job this week as a special education teacher. He is supposed to return to school to get his teaching certification in about a week, and is waiting for a letter of intent via email from the potential employer. It’s a lot. We are trying to manage the financial aid piece and we are up against a super tight deadline right now. His interview for the job was virtual, so he’s heading to the school next week to actually tour it and meet his potential coworkers. In the spirit of living in a small town, one of the women he used to live who was in live with him (for real)—the housing situation was work related—works at the school. She has legit not spoken to myself or DH since he and I got engaged so that seems like it will be super awkward (although she is also married now and has kids).

DH is finally seeing a decent therapist and between the therapist and neuropsych eval he had done during fall, it is apparent he is super depressed. Depressed is apparently his baseline and super depressed happens quite a bit. It is helpful to have it identified, but wow, it is a lot to live with. I am really struggling as his wife because he cannot do much and is not really emotionally available 90% of the time. He’s so inwardly focused, that he cannot focus on me, the kids, relationships, stuff that needs to be done, etc. I’m drowning and he cannot take on any of the workload. It sucks.

My endocrin had me take b12 supplements the last three months and my level actually decreased. I’m starting up with b12 injections next week. My TSH is also super, super low which means I’m hyperhyroid and should be losing weight, but I’m gaining which also sucks.

My endocrin is out of network for me which means my injections will be out of network. I have ZERO out of network benefits. The whole healthcare system is atrocious. I refuse to go back to the three endocrins I saw before I connected with my current one. They were all terrible, but in network. I need a super expensive full body scan but I for sure cannot pay for that out of pocket, so I’m waiting to see if my GP will prescribe it when I see him in June.

My crown also broke this week and when the dentist looked at it, I had worn a hole clear through the middle. He said it was due to grinding/stress. I wear a mouth guard religiously at night, so it’s happening during the day. :-/ Cue more medical bills. They glued my current one back on and can’t get me in to work on repair until June. I almost cried when trying to schedule with them because I just cannot even do all of this any more. (It also hurt wicked bad last time they fixed it so I’m somewhat terrified to return.)

That’s my list of complaints/brain dump. There’s more, but I need to wrap up some grading and get dinner going. I miss a life that was easier and less complicated.

#adulting #complaining

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doctorweebmd · 15 days

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hello just in case anyone is checking in on where i am lmao:

i gave myself up until the end of labor day weekend to dick around (i.e. working on tptp) and not do things i need to be doing (i.e. everything else) with this self-imposed deadline being imposed as such because i have a LOT of shit i need to work on in the coming weeks. i actually am, like, 32 years old, and have a full time job in academic medicine (… well, ish, im a perpetual fellow) and have a TON to get done on top of just working INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:

-> research that i am so so regretfully the principal investigator on and have funding for somehow so i actually have to do it and produce results

-> meeting after meeting after meeting for said research. Why is there so much politics in research. Why is medicine such a fucking joke.

-> leaving country in 2 weeks

-> prepping to leave country in two weeks including tying up loose ends at work, doctors appointments, meds, clothes on top of making sure everything is planned and updated for the travel itself because I planned the entire trip lmao

-> finish updating my CV

-> cold-calling and emailing local programs for jobs because you would think after four years of college, four years of med school, three years of residency, three years of fellowship and another one year of even more fellowship people would be falling all over themselves to recruit MY ass but FYI unless you have a large NIH grant or you have a personal relationship with program heads your ass is NOT getting headhunted. and also MD jobs worth getting never get posted about online because, as mentioned above, openings are rarely made public and if they are they're desperate to hire anyone which is often not a good sign. Anyway most people say have a contract in hand between December-February which is… something.

-> abstract for (conference) due in a month, for (conference #2) in two months

-> critical care boards in two months that i need to start studying for!!!

-> lecture series for (x) fellows development and execution that I don’t have the dates for yet…

… anyway. I’m tired. I’m hoping to have time to write when traveling but damn. These are non-problem problems because I’m privileged to get to do any of this but at the same time it feels like a lot to manage. The good news is since I started getting medicated like 6 months ago I’m not totally shutting down at the prospect of this, but it’s still a bit stressful. Sigh.

#I just…. think I’m gonna stay clear of academic medicine #I literally want to work and come home and be done #like…. all these extra responsibilities and rat race bullshit to publish #I’m just… done with it. what’s the point #anyway personal or whatever #sigh.#this all doesn’t include social obligations either hahahaa #I will say like…. having some time and money for the first time in life #and getting to travel last year as well as prioritizing it this year…#it’s good. it’s really really good. I’m excited.#I’m also seeing my dad for the first time in nearly 6 years which is wild #he’s meeting us in Rome for like 2 days #…#okay writing this all out as a list is actually super helpful.

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kjmsupremacist · 21 days

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maps and constellations (chan/felix)

After their senior year of high school, Chan and his closest friends decide to go on a road trip together to close out their time as children before they move on to college. Though Chan’s excited for the trip, he knows the pressure of the next stage of their lives looms bigger on the horizon every day, and he’s not sure how well they’re all going to handle the transition, especially because they’ll be scattered across the country in the fall. Even more pressing, however, are the feelings he’s developing for his best friend, Felix.

Chapter 6 | prev next mlist

Characters: Felix, Chan, the rest of skz

Genre: romance, fluff, angst, friends to lovers, coming of age, growing pains, getting together

Pairing: Chan/Felix

Warnings: mild angst, swearing

Rating: Teen & Up

Length: 3.7k

listen to the official playlist here!

Another day passes, and another and another still until it’s been over a week and Chan still hasn’t said a word to Felix. It’s not on purpose, not completely, he just gets lost in packing and in the millions of emails he gets about move-in and freshman orientation. Every day there’s something new, and every day it gets a little harder to pick up the phone.

Despite his hopes, the time apart doesn’t do much to calm Chan’s feelings or help him make any more sense of it. He’s still scared, still ashamed, still directionless. He doesn’t know what he’ll say when he and Felix finally talk—if they ever do. He owes Felix the truth, doesn’t he? But once he says it, it’s all over. And isn’t it selfish to dump all of it into Felix’s lap, the mess of his emotions and all the changes it will bring? It’s Chan’s fault, so he doesn’t get to ask for help in carrying it. He has to do it alone.

And, god, Chan does deserve punishment, he thinks. Because even through all of this, he slips into fantasy, images of a life where this isn’t difficult, where he can have what he wants because Felix wants it too. He imagines a future full of them, together always and in every way, days full of laughter, nights full of desires Chan is too embarrassed to name. He watches these daydreams out of the corner of his mind’s eye only, trying to hold himself back from full immersion. Because he shouldn’t enjoy them, because they’ll never come true, because they’re wrong, self-indulgent and almost predatory in their greed.

To be fair, it’s not just Felix Chan hasn’t spoken to, it’s everyone. They’re all busy the way Chan is, scrambling to pull their lives together in the precious few weeks before they head off to school, so they don’t have time for each other. It’s half a miracle when Chan and Minho manage to schedule a coffee together one Wednesday afternoon in the middle of all the insanity.

It’s a relief, a break Chan didn’t realize he needed until he steps into the coffee shop and sees Minho waiting at a table by the window. Suddenly, he feels exhausted, and a little hopeless. Will this be how things are from now on? Always rushing and with no time for anything that actually matters?

Chan shakes himself from his brooding, orders his drink, and joins Minho at the table. Minho raises his coffee cup to clink against Chan’s with a sort of half-smile.

“How are you?” Chan asks before taking a sip of his drink.

“Good,” Minho replies somewhat wearily. “Fucking busy.”

“Yeah,” Chan says, nodding. “I don’t know if I’m gonna make it to orientation. My unread emails are going to bury me alive.”

“God, tell me about it,” Minho groans. “Is this adulthood? Every day I swear I get, like, fifty more. It’s unholy.”

Chan laughs, taking another drink of his coffee, then sets his mug down, crossing his arms and looking Minho over. “It’s good to see you,” he says. “Feels like it’s been ages since I’ve seen anybody, really. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be a person.”

“Really?” Minho doesn’t actually sound too surprised; something lurks behind his expression and makes Chan tense up. “Not even Felix?”

“Ah,” Chan says, “no, I think he’s been busy.”

“I saw him the other day.” Minho’s tone is mild, but Chan feels stung anyway. “He seemed… sad. He didn’t really say why. Do you… happen to know anything about that?”

Chan sighs. “It’s… complicated.”

Minho snorts. “Sure, and it’s going to stay that way until you do something about it.”

“I know.” Chan doesn’t mean to bite it out, but he sees Minho blink in surprise at the force in his tone. “Sorry,” Chan mutters. “It’s just… I don’t know how to explain.”

“I’m not blaming you, Chan, I’m trying to help you.” Minho sets his cup down and leans back in his chair. “What happened?”

Chan looks at Minho and thinks about everything that’s happened over the last few weeks. It’s so much, all of it, the weight nearly crushing him. But Minho’s right—he can help. And Chan would be stupid not to accept.

“I, um,” he says. “I realized partway through our trip that, uh, that I might be in love with Felix. I think. I don’t know. And I definitely made things weird between us, just, like, being awkward about it and stuff. And I think he knows. He sort of tried to bring it up on our last night, but I—I couldn’t, I just couldn’t, you know? Not when we’d have to sleep in the same bed, not when I’d have to drive him home. I said we’d talk more after we got back, only we haven’t, and now…”

“I see,” Minho says quietly. They’re silent for a moment. “And why don’t you want to tell him?”

“Because—” Chan shakes. “Because he’ll never feel the same way, and it’ll completely ruin our friendship, and he’ll hate me, and I’l lose him forever.”

“Chan, what the fuck are you talking about?” Minho asks flatly. “Felix would never hate you. You should know him well enough by now. He wouldn’t be angry with you for loving him. Do you know how crazy that sounds?”

Chan’s nails are digging painfully into the skin of his palms, but he doesn’t unclench his fists. “It’s not just that, Minho, I—” His breath is coming quick; he feels heat rising to his cheeks. “All the things I think about, some of them are so—so nasty, and I can’t believe I could ever think about Felix that way, but I do. And if I tell him, he’ll know, and he’ll be disgusted. Because isn’t that, like, gross and creepy of me? When I don’t—when I don’t deserve him?”

Minho stares at him for a second. “First of all, you need to toss the idea of not deserving him out the window. How do you know that?” Chan opens his mouth, then closes it again. “You’re not being fair to Felix, Chan. Shouldn’t he get to decide that for himself, instead of you making the decision for him?”

“Um,” Chan says slowly, feeling a bit sheepish.

“And second of all,” Minho barrels on, “you do know it’s normal, to be horny about someone you like, right?”

“Right,” Chan says, trying to muscle through his discomfort. How is Minho so casual with it? Chan doesn’t know if he’ll ever understand. “But it’s different. It feels invasive, I dunno,” he protests. He’s almost squirming in his seat, shame so full in his chest he doesn’t know how there’s still room for his lungs. “Since it’s me. Like I’m breaking his trust. I’m—I mean, I’ve always been like his big brother, you know?”

“I mean, have you ever acted on any of it?” Minho asks. “To him, on purpose? Has he ever told you to not do anything?”

Chan pauses, then shakes his head. He hasn’t even jerked off in the quiet privacy of his own room, too horrified and ashamed to even consider it.

“You don’t have to punish yourself for things you haven’t done,” Minho says gently. “You like him, Chan. You want him. So what, you know? It’s not a crime.”

Chan blows out a deep breath. “I guess so,” he mutters. He supposes Minho is right, though he still feels guilty.

“So?” Minho says. “You gonna talk to him before you leave?”

“I mean, I have to,” Chan replies. “But I just don’t know how. All I know is this is going to ruin how things have been our whole lives, and everything is broken and I don’t know how to fix it. Sometimes I wonder if I really am in love with him, or it’s some big confusion of everything else. But regardless, I’m sure he’ll never love me back. So it’s like—where do we go from here?”

Minho’s lips have twisted into a wry smile. He spreads his hands. “I can’t answer those questions for you, Chan. But you know who can?” He raises his eyebrows. “Felix. But only if you talk to him.”

“Shit,” Chan mumbles miserably, and Minho lets out a short laugh. “I mean, does he even want to talk about it at this point? Does he want to see me at all?”

“Well,” Minho says. “There’s only one way to find out that, too, right?” He runs a fingertip around the rim of his coffee cup. “But I’m sure he does. He won’t give up on you. So you don’t get to give up on him, either. Alright?”

Chan nods, though his chest feels heavy. “How come everything’s so difficult now?” he asks, half to himself.

Minho hums. “Well, if it feels difficult, then do it the way you know best.” Chan looks up and finds Minho gazing back at him, earnest and intent. “Don’t do it for yourself. Do it for someone else.” He leans in. His eyes are gentle. Minho’s rarely this gentle. “You’re always at your surest when you’re helping someone,” he says. “Do it for Felix. Do it for Felix, because you love him.”

* * *

Chan’s far too busy to do anything with it that afternoon, so he decides to let himself sleep on it with the promsie to himself to consider texting Felix in the morning.

He does it basically as soon as he wakes up, before he can talk himself out of it. Hey, I said we were gonna talk when we got home. We only have a like a week until we leave. Do you have time soon?

He’s surprised when he receives a reply in just a few short minutes. Yeah, I’m home rn you can come over. Chan scrambles through the rest of his morning, downing some coffee and pulling some clothes on before grabbing his keys and heading across the street.

“Lix?” he calls when he finds the entryway empty, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Upstairs,” Felix calls back faintly.

Chan makes his way to his room, trying to steady his breath. Waves of anxiety wash over his body as he climbs the stairs, making his skin flash cold.

Felix’s door is open. Chan can see him as he heads down the hall, sitting up on his bed, leaning against the headboard, knees tucked close to his chest. He raises his head when Chan steps on the creaky floorboard a few feet from the threshold, and his gaze paralyzes Chan on the spot.

“Hey,” Chan tries. It comes out faint and weak.

“Hey.” Felix flicks his gaze back to his bed. “Um, come in.”

Chan forces himself to move, to step into Felix’s room. He closes the door. The room looks the same, but feels unfamiliar. When did Chan become a stranger here?

Chan sits gingerly on the edge of Felix’s bed, keeping himself as far away as possible, like if he gets too close, Felix’ll spook.

Though Chan’s the one who invited himself here, he feels like he has to wait for Felix’s permission to speak. But Felix says nothing, and minutes pass in silence as Chan picks at a loose thread on his shorts. It’s tense and uncomfortable and most of Chan wants to say okay, never mind, I’m sorry, I can’t do this and run straight back out the door. But he knows if he does that, everything will be over. So he waits. And then—

“Chan,” Felix says. “I have something to tell you.”

Chan’s heartbeat quickens. “Y-you do?”

“Yeah, and I’m really scared to say it, so don’t interrupt me ‘til I’m done.” Felix is the most serious Chan has ever seen him. He has his arms wrapped around his shins almost defensively, and his eyes are piercing.

“Okay,” Chan agrees quietly. His confession can wait. It’s probably best if he goes second anyway, because once Felix hears what he has to say, he’ll probably tell him to leave.

“I’m sorry for being so weird lately,” Felix starts. Chan blinks at him in surprise. “I thought maybe I could ignore it, but I couldn’t. And then I—I tried to bring it up when we were at Long Beach, but you wouldn’t talk, and I didn’t know how to say it when you were being so—I mean, I don’t know. It felt like you knew, and you didn’t want me to say it, so I didn’t. But I think I need to tell you, even if you don’t want to hear it, because it changes everything, and I’m going to go crazy if I keep it inside.

He’s speaking very quickly, so Chan hardly has time to process any of this before Felix takes a breath and plows on. “And we’re going away soon, and I need to tell you in person, so anyway, it has to be now. And I’m sorry if that’s not okay, but I can’t anymore. And if you need to think about it, that’s fine, because we’re going to be in different states pretty soon anyway. Okay? So—here it is.” A deep breath. “I really like you, Chan, and I’ve tried dropping hints and I’ve tried leaving you alone and I’ve tried flirting, but nothing’s worked so I know it’s not the same for you. And that’s okay. I just need you to know, because when you say you love me, you mean it like you’re my brother. And when I say it, I mean something else.”

Chan sits in stunned silence for a second, unsure if he heard him correctly, if he understands. Felix—when he tried to talk about it a couple weeks ago, he had thought the exact same thing as Chan: that Chan was catching on, and that’s why he was being weird. But in reality…

“Well?” Felix demands. His voice is shaking, but he sticks his chin out and looks Chan in the eye. “Say something.”

“Lix,” Chan whispers. “How—how long? How long have you—known, I mean how long have you—?”

“For years, Chan.” He says it bitterly. “I’ve known for years. I—I’ve loved you for years.”

Chan can’t help it. The next breath comes out as laughter. “Well, you’re way ahead of me, then,” he says. He scoots a little closer, and finds that he’s trembling. Suddenly, everything is so easy. The relief leaves him a little limp, but it’s like Minho said. He’s not doing it for himself. He’s doing it for Felix, and that’s all the strength he needs. “Felix.” He holds out his hand. Felix just looks at him, hurt and confused. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I just thought—I thought I wasn’t allowed, somehow. To love you. Because I’m supposed to be—well, not someone who’s in love with you, I guess. I thought you’d never feel the same way, and it’s been killing me these last few weeks, thinking I ruined everything. But I guess we’re a better pair than I thought.”

“You love me,” Felix whispers faintly, eyes wide. He takes Chan’s hand.

“Yeah,” Chan says softly. “Yeah, I think I do. I love you, Felix. I’ve loved you since we were children, I think. I loved you before I even knew how, before I knew what it meant, way before I realized it myself. Just—loved you. And I would’ve been happy to do it and not get anything back, except I thought maybe you’d hate me, that you’d be angry with me somehow, that you’d feel betrayed. So that’s why—that’s why I was being so weird these last few weeks.”

Felix frowns. “Why would I hate you?”

“Because you’re you,” Chan says helplessly. “And I’m me, and I could never… Felix,” he says. “You’re the best person I know. You—you light up every room, you’re gentle and soft and good. Of course I love you, and of course I could never deserve to. You’re bright and beautiful, and I’m… I’m just me. I’m just—your annoying childhood best friend. So I was worried I would be holding you back from finding real love, from finding someone like you who could match you. From finding someone who actually deserved to have you.”

Felix shakes his head. “You’re stupid, Chan,” he says, and Chan laughs weakly. “How could you think that? I loved you. I love you. If anyone doesn’t deserve it, it’s me. You’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

Chan stills. Suddenly, it’s almost painfully clear. He tried so hard not to let Felix’s friendship balloon his ego, tried to stop himself from getting too confident, from thinking he was far more important than he was, and somewhere along the way, he’d blinded himself to Felix’s admiration. But if the connection between them is that strong, then thinking Felix doesn’t look up to him is more insulting than thinking he does. Thinking that Chan doesn’t deserve him isn’t fair to Felix, just like Minho said. It forgets Felix’s very core: that he is humble, that he doesn’t act the way he does for acceptance or acclaim but simply because he is sweet and genuine to the end. Of course he doesn’t see himself as perfect. He’s just like Chan. Afraid, unsure, and hopeful, all at once.

“C’mere, little one,” Chan says quietly, dropping Felix’s hand and holding out his arms.

Felix rolls forward onto his knees and crawls into Chan’s embrace, wrapping his arms around Chan’s shoulders and squeezing tight. Chan holds him, stretching his fingers as wide as they’ll go and pressing his hands into Felix’s back.

“I love you,” Felix whispers, and then giggles. “I was so nervous, oh my god. I was gonna throw up.”

“I’m sorry,” Chan says immediately. “I’m sorry I didn’t know earlier. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk about it before.”

“Not your fault,” Felix says. “And anyway, you can make up for it.”

“Yeah?” Chan asks. “How’s that?”

Felix pulls back gently, leaving his arms slung over Chan’s shoulders. “Kiss me,” he demands, almost petulant. “I’ve wanted you to kiss me for so long.”

Chan might’ve hesitated. But it’s Felix asking, and he could never say no, not when it’s something he wants, too. He brings both hands up to Felix’s jaw to hold him steady, and then leans in and kisses him, just as he asked.

And it’s like the whole world melts away. In the back of his mind, Chan kind of registers that he’s having some kind of rom-com moment. Everything is just Felix, Felix, Felix, his soft lips and sharp teeth and warm tongue, the skin of his cheeks under the pads of Chan’s fingers, the scent of his soap and deodorant, so familiar and so new all at once.

They break apart, staring at each other, and then Felix starts laughing and Chan does too, and it’s uncontrollable, the stomach-hurting, fully-can’t-breathe, verge-of-death kind, so full of joy and relief. Felix rests his forehead on Chan’s shoulder and Chan wraps his arms around his waist and squeezes.

It takes them a while to calm down, but eventually the room is quiet again. This time the quiet is good, warm and comfortable and right. Chan brushes his fingers though Felix’s hair, breathing, watching Felix breathe.

“What?” Felix asks softly.

Chan moves his fingers down to Felix’s cheeks, tracing invisible lines between a few of his freckles. “I’m making a new constellation,” he says. “It’s not in the sky, it’s just here.”

Felix stills, and then smiles. “You’re tracing a cartoon heart, aren’t you?”

Chan grins. “Maybe.”

“You’re so embarrassing,” Felix says, but he kisses Chan again. Chan can’t stop smiling.

He wants to do so many things with Felix, now that he can, now that he knows Felix loves him back, now that the guilt and shame has been peeled away by Felix’s gentle hands. But it can wait. They have so much time. If Chan has anything to say about it, they have the rest of their lives.

“Let’s go bake cookies,” he says. “We can bring some to the others, too. Boost morale.”

Felix laughs. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you,” Chan repeats, and it’s dumb and sappy, but they’re both still smiling, so he doesn’t care.

They spend a couple more minutes kissing anyway, then finally head downstairs to find the baking supplies. Felix pulls out the measuring cups while Chan gathers their ingredients, digging the chocolate chips out from the back of the fridge. Their hands brush when they set things on the counter, and Chan doesn’t flinch. Their old familiarity and ease is back, just colored a little sweeter than before. They chat about packing for college as they mix the dough and throw the first batch in the oven.

“What the fuck are we gonna tell everyone?” Felix asks, looking up from scooping the second batch onto a fresh sheet.

Chan blows out a breath, straightening and pulling the first sheet out. They’re golden-brown, chocolate chips all gooey. Perfect. “Uh,” he says. “I hate to break it to you, but I think they might already know. Like, I think they figured it out way before we did, and have been just kind of waiting for us to get our shit together. So I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. Well, no, they’re going to make fun of us for the rest of our lives. But,” he says, blowing out a laugh, “it’s gonna be fine.”

Felix laughs, too. “God, we’re really stupid, huh?”

Chan sets the sheet down and pulls him close by the waist. “Mostly me,” he says.

“Mostly you,” Felix agrees, a little smug. Chan rolls his eyes and kisses him.

“Ugh, finally.” They both whip their heads up to see Rachael, back from her internship, walking into the kitchen with a look of fond disgust on her face.

“R-Rachael, hey,” Chan says, releasing Felix and turning back to the cookies even though he can’t really do anything with them, just to put his hands somewhere that isn’t on her little brother. “When did you get back?”

She ignores him, reaching for a cookie with a paper towel. “When’s the wedding?”

“Oh my god, Rachael,” Felix groans. “You’re so embarrassing! Get out, take your cookie and get out!”

Rachael snickers, satisfied, stealing an extra cookie and blowing a kiss over her shoulder. “Mom ’n’ Dad are gonna be so relieved. I’m pretty sure they placed bets.”

“Shut up,” Felix complains. Chan can hardly hear him over the sound of his own laughter.

#works #chanlix #stray kids #chan #felix #stray kids fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #chanlix fanfic #chanlix fanfiction #yeah fuck that's good enough I hate tagging shit.

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secretlythepits · 1 month

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Just a Rant

I don’t think I told you guys how hard it was to get my kids registered for school this year. Both kids had their own issues that seemed to clog the system so they required dozens, and I do mean dozens of emails to counselors, registrars, principals, the school district, an educational lobbyist, the state DOE. And this was in the midst of finding about my husband’s cancer and what treatment would be.

Today one school called and said they needed health forms they never told me about. Then a teacher who runs a program at one school wanted me to switch my other kid back to his program. Details I handled, but like please, oh please let this be done. It is taking so much of my attention. Also, the kids are taking some online classes through the state and haven’t been assigned teachers yet, so we’re twiddling our thumbs (an old-fashioned euphemism I’m repackaging to mean f%*king video games!) instead of doing school work.

Then the dentist appointment that was supposed to happen before school had to be rescheduled because the dentist’s entire computer system crashed. There’s an orthodontist appointment next week too, a new addition to our busy lives. And my husband has treatment on Friday.

When am I supposed to be able to work?

When am I supposed to be able to have some time to focus on my goals and my health?

It’s not just me crying for space in my life. Things like my husband’s pain are alarms saying: you might have to be the sole provider at any minute. And I literally cannot do that now. I need a chance to complete my project and get it to market. I cannot take care of everybody and build a career out of nothing at the same time. Besides preferring this kind of work, I can’t commit to a traditional job right now because my caregiving and mom schedules are just too demanding and unpredictable. I have no help. My friends will step in during an emergency. My in-laws did nada during our first cancer journey. My family and my dearests and on the opposite coast. Nobody is ever going to pick up the slack but me.

Still, work has to happen. These little scares, because that’s what I have to assume my husband’s pain is, feels like the Universe snapping me to attention and warning me that my time before the catastrophe is running out.

And my brain.

I’m having more and more slips. I can’t remember words. Say wrong words. Can’t access memories from a couple weeks ago. Had a couple of spells when I couldn’t walk. I need to have some calm, peace, and open stretches of time to calm my nervous system. I felt like I was 95% better, but now I’ve fallen to 85- 88%. It worries me.

(I will say I have an odd relationship with my brain, because as much as I struggle with the detail, conceptually, I’ve never felt so smart. It honestly feels like my brain damage has both good and bad sides to it. it’s counterintuitive, I know, but I think I’m right.)

The dentist just showed me I cracked a tooth from clenching. I wake up in full body clenches many nights. I cannot be mindful when I am unconscious.

Many people in my support system are educators so they are in the back to school overwhelm. There isn’t anything they could say or do to help so I’m just sitting here with very big feelings. I’m supposed to ground my husband and protect my kids.

Yet again a mom is asking: Who is looking out for me?

And I am worried about what the doctor will say tomorrow. It could be very bad or relatively ok. Even ok would bother me since it’s so much aggravation and added stress for nothing. But of course, added stress for something is much worse. Aaaaaaahg!

Good night. I’m grabbing my ice packs and a book about chocolate and praying for sweet dreams.

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ariellewm · 5 months

Text

"The Guardian Merman" A Short Story by Arielle W.M.

Author's Note: This was my first ever short story shared to the world on my Wattpad. I figured I'd share on here as well. Originally, I was planning on expanding the story further, possibly as a novel. This portion of the story would've taken place in the middle if I had worked out the story more.

Summary: Aria Woods had been using her parents' natatorium after business hours for studying. Little did she know, she wasn't alone. An otherworldly, beautiful song vibrates throughout the facility. Aria had heard of this song before, two years ago to be exact. She explores the natatorium, hoping to find the mysterious being that is using the facility.

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Dusk descended on the small coastal village of Jade. Local attractions in town began to close for the evening, including the family-operated Olympic natatorium. During the warmer months, it served as a facility for swimming tournaments and a place for families to bring their children to learn to swim. An Olympic-sized pool with a diving area was at the center, along with a small splash pad that children enjoyed. Many youngsters were spending the waning rays of daylight splashing and swimming in the cool, turquoise waters. A sudden announcement would be made over the intercom, notifying visitors that the natatorium would be closing for the evening. The whines of adolescents filled the complex. Spring vacation has officially ended.

The last of the families exited the building, with the parent’s daughter locking the front doors. Arianna, who also went by the nickname of Aria, occasionally volunteered at the natatorium, answering emails, checking in visitors, and registering them for swimming lessons. After her breakup with her ex-boyfriend of two years, helping at the facility kept her distracted. He was found cheating on Aria with another who came from the big city. The drama of it all had caused an uproar in the little town, which died down, as in most cases. This, however, wasn’t the real reason she helped at her parent’s natatorium.

The facility after closure provided her a quiet place to study undisturbed. Sure, there was the library just a few blocks away, and the neighborhood coffee shop was another option. Unfortunately, the library had already closed for the day and the coffee shop had closed earlier in the day. And with a house full of screaming and bickering siblings, studying at home wasn’t an option either. So, she persuaded her father to let her stay after dark some nights to study and finish any leftover college homework she had.

The phone on the circular desk rang, alerting Aria as she closed the reception area. She picked up the phone after the second ring and said, “Hello?”

“How late are you staying tonight, missy?” Her father asked over the phone.

Tugging her cardigan sleeve, she exposed her leather watch, which showed the time of 6:32pm, “I probably won’t be back until close to midnight.” Aria’s deadline for her essay on increasing water levels was Tuesday. She was close to being finished but needed more time to finalize everything before submitting it to her professor.

“I thought you’d be done with that research paper by now.” Her father said, “It’s getting close to that deadline.”

“I’m aware.” She sighed.

Ever since taking an interest in oceanography, she never realized how difficult her classes would be. Already within the first few months of the spring semester she’d written more than in the entirety of high school.

Aria tucked one side of her wavy brown hair behind her ear, staring at the open binder in front of her. She flipped through her written work, “I’m almost done. I just need to put down my conclusion and type it all out.” Aria shut her binder, staring blankly at the nearly empty parking lot in front. The family had just finished loading cargo and had begun to start up the car.

“All right—just text me when you do leave. You know how I am when you stay out late.”

“Yes, dad.”

“I’m leaving through the back. Don’t stress yourself too much.” Aria hung up the phone. Finally, she could work in peace at last.

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Aria had moved upstairs to her father’s office soon after the sun had completely set. The oak desk had plenty of space for her laptop and papers, along with a far more comfortable chair to sit in. The view of the rocky beach lit by the moonlight from the office was equally breathtaking. It was a full moon and was clear enough to watch the stars dance in the night sky. But she had a paper to finish, stargazing would have to wait.

“No... this won’t do…” She aggressively pressed the backspace key repeatedly, not satisfied with her last paragraph. Leaning back against the leather chair, she studied the last few hours of everything she had typed on the document on the laptop. Her eyes lingered on the corkboard in the corner of the office, where her parents’ excursion photos were pinned. They’ve traveled all different parts of the world, learning about different cultures and trying unique cuisines. As a family, they rarely ever got to travel outside of their state. She longed to see what lied beyond the rocky shores, exploring the oceans and seas.

She groaned in frustration, rubbing her head until her cellphone interrupted her thoughts. It vibrated against the oak, its screen facing down. Aria picked it up, accessing the home screen. “Huh, how long has it been since I last looked at my phone?” Aria noticed a message alert from one of her best friend’s, Katheryn. Opening the message to read,

Hey Aria! Haven’t heard from you in a while! Hope you’re doing ok! :D Was hoping to get you out to join us for karaoke tonight at the bar! I’m also inviting Kai out as well :) Let me know if you want to come! :D

Kai was another of Aria’s best friends in her small circle. He was still new to the small harbor community. He was well-known in the small town for his activities such as beach clean-ups and helping at the town’s monthly farmers markets with Aria.

Why am I not surprised? Aria slightly blushed at the thought, shaking her head. This wasn’t the first time Kat attempted in inviting Kai out. He wasn’t the type to go out late and party like the rest of her friends. Kat always sensed something between the two of them, even when Aria was still with her ex.

Aria had started working on her assignment when the message was sent. It was nearly 10 o’clock when she glanced at the digital clock on the desk. She’d have no chance of finishing and going out with her friends as much as she wanted to. She instantly texted back,

Heyyyyyyyyy! I’m sorry not replying. This class is kicking my ass with this assignment. Maybe we can meet up for coffee tomorrow? I’ll pay this time :)

Sending the message, she continued with the other notifications that had popped up during her time writing. Likes, app updates, reminders about the essay… She rolled her brown eyes at the thought of the reminder, oh wait...what’s this? Aria spotted a memory post that her mother had tagged in. She clicked on the status, which led her to a local news website with an article from two years ago,

21st Birthday Celebration Turns Horror

What was meant to be a memorable celebration turned out to be a nightmare filled bash. A rented yacht filled with young adults was trapped in a sudden, unreported storm. The massive yacht was struck by lightning, according to eyewitnesses aboard, causing some to fall overboard.

Arianna Woods was one of many victims who fell off the yacht and was lost at sea when help arrived. She was later discovered washed ashore hours earlier, unhurt. “What a miracle!” Doug, Arianna’s father, wept during the interview after the update on her daughter’s survival, “We thought she was taken by the ocean. Were just glad Aria’s safe and unharmed.”

The remainder of the article focused on the others that survived. Scrolling down the page, she spotted that there happened to be an update a week after the incident. It read,

We are given word that a witness had spotted something swimming away from the victim. This short clip was recorded and sent to our channel agents as well as YouTube. Many believe that this was edited to appeal to a broader audience...

Her eyes were drawn to the brief video, and she clicked on the play button. It showed her lying on the sand, gradually waking up from the emergency personnel alerts. She replayed it back, noticing the blurry figure in the water swimming away from her. Her attention was drawn to the color, as it had an unusual red hue to it.

Katheryn had replied,

I figured tonight you’d want to release some tension after dealing with that jackass of an ex.

She just HAD to bring that up… Aria’s stomach dropped at the mention of her ex. Just then, another text was quickly sent,

Prob not a good time to mention “him’” :( I’m sorry.

I’m doing better now. I should get back to my essay though. She lied through her texts. Her head was overwhelmed with memories from her last relationship, Aria imagined herself once more. At the restaurant where they were to celebrate their two-year anniversary. Instead, she witnesses him with another woman, happily enjoying each other’s company. A twinge of rage and loss causes her to storm out, run to her car, and storm off.

Aria put her phone down, screen turned off, so she wouldn’t be distracted. Her fingers slid across the keyboard, attempting to type anything down. All that her mind could think of was her broken heart, shattered and slowly being put back together.

“Argh!” Great, my train of thought is a mess! She mumbled to herself, Perhaps I should go over my notes again and—

A honeyed berceuse reverberated throughout the building, all the way to her father’s office. It was beautiful yet hypnotizing. For some reason, it sounded familiar to Aria. “This voice,” she closed her eyes, breathing more slowly, “where have I heard this before? It’s so...so…”

Slowly, the silver moans ceased. Having broken free from its intoxicating spell, Aria opened her eyes and shook her head. “Come on, Aria, the place is probably haunted like everyone says it is in town.” No one had ever died at her father’s natatorium, though. At least, that’s what her father told her. “You are so close to finishing this essay…” Attempting once more, her fingers gently tapped at the keyboard. She took a deep breath and was about three words in when the angelic soughs coaxed her once more.

Aria’s eyes fell, leaning back against the leather chair. Focusing on the vocals, it was masculine, yet at the same time, soothing. As quickly as it started, Aria sighed as the singing faded, “Maybe dad forgot to turn the speakers off.” Knowing her father, he always had the tendency to forget things. Searching through her father’s drawer, she found a spare small black flashlight along with an extra set of keys to open the main doors to the pool area.

It could also be teenagers who managed to sneak in to utilize the pool. This would happen a lot during the summer months, with her dad spotting a pile of used towels and empty bottles of beer lying on the marble flooring every morning. He got so furious that he installed surveillance cameras around the facility, including the pool area. At least in her understand, there hadn’t been any incidents of break-ins since.

Her sandals clapped on her way down the stairs through the long corridor. The enticing voice echoed yet again. The sound was getting stronger by the time she got toward the main entrance to the pool area. She fumbled with the multiple sets of keys, finally pressing the silver key into the door’s hole. As she slowly opened one side of the heavy door forward, a loud clank was sounded. The flashlight pointed inside the pool area. And just as she did, the ethereal lullaby ended.

“Hello? Is anybody here?” Aria stepped inside, allowing the heavy door behind to shut loudly. Her light scanned the large space. The rectangular, massive pool was dimly lit, quiet and still with no sign of anybody having been in the water. The moonlight hung above the circular glass ceiling above, providing some light on the water’s surface. Aria made her way down the pool edge, every few seconds pointing the light at the bleachers next to her. Each row was empty, with no signs of extra clothing or trash left about. Her light then focused on one of the many security cameras that pointed directly at the pool. Something seemed off,

Does Dad realize that he never turned them on once he installed them? Aria decided to check the other cameras. Every single one of them had no light indicating that they were on. Dad is not going to be happy about this…

Her back was turned when her ears caught up on something that had breached the surface moments before diving back in. Startled by the unexpected disturbance, she quickly directed the light at the water. What the hell was that? She puzzled herself. Aria’s gaze caught on to the glow in one corner of the pool. It wasn’t the usual violet light that emitted from the pool, but rather it had a ruby shimmer. She approached the strange glow. Whatever it was had stayed submerged in the water, staying still. Aria was rather impressed with the fact that it could keep its breath in. Her flashlight flickered before completely going out on her. She hit it multiple times to see if it would turn itself back on, which it didn’t. Damn it. No.

Deciding to investigate more, she leaned in closer to the pool. She was careful not to slip into the abyss, for the pool was very deep. Through her eyes, she couldn’t tell if she was looking at a tail of a gigantic red fish or a large red sea serpent. The rippling water made it challenging to tell as she examined it. Small bubbles floated up to the surface as the creature quickly swam toward the human. Aria stumbled backward, landing on her buttocks on the hard marble floor. She was out of breath, dazed and terrified. The creature that had breached the surface was no ordinary fish, it seemed more humanoid than anything she’d ever seen.

It turned its muscular upper frame towards the frightened Aria. She quickly drew back toward the bleachers, still in awe of its presence. Her thin cardigan was tinged with the coolness of the steel against her back, not helping with the goosebumps that soon developed. There was no doubt in her mind that the humanoid was male. He had a well-defined chest and broad shoulders. The creature had ears that protruded like fish fins, like an elf. The glowing golden eyes that stared down at Aria were almost enough to pull her in. She was certain that this creature, this thing, had been the one that lured her here. Now that it got her attention, Aria’s mind thought of what this creature might do to her next. Scenarios from horror films started to cross her mind, where the girl is snatched up by the monster. Aria gulped at the thought of it.

Slowly swimming toward her, it was getting closer to the pool edge. She flung the dead flashlight at the creature, hoping to keep it at bay. It noticed the object and dived back into the water, quickly avoiding it. The flashlight splashed hard in the water as the ‘monster’ rose back up, turning to see the flashlight gently float to the bottom. It turned back to Aria, “H-hey, what was that for, huh?” Confusion filled its golden eyes, blinking before pointing behind him, “You could’ve knocked me out with that.”

It spoke up. Aria was left transfixed by the fact that the creature had just spoken in her language. Her stomach dropped and her heart began to race. She finally let out a cry of fright, “Ahhh!”

“Sssshhh!” The monster shushed her, “What’s the matter with you?”

“Y-you can talk?!” Aria stuttered, still frozen in place.

“Of course, I can—listen, will you just—”

“You were going to eat me!”

“No,” he sighed, annoyingly, “I wasn’t going to eat you. I don’t eat your kind. I was just going to—hey!” Aria had discovered a stack of towels behind the bleacher behind her and threw one of them at the creature. It managed to hit him as it dropped into the pool, absorbing the water. “Will you just listen to me, Aria!”

Her mouth dropped open, “H-how do you know my name?” She swore she heard him curse under his breath before speaking up.

“Aria, come on, it’s me…”

Still slightly confused, she pulled herself up from the bleacher behind. Her consciousness noticed familiar details in the “monster” from its tanned complexion to his once gold-dazzling eyes fading into a deep hazel. His slick, dark brown hair was in a loose man bun. Upon closer inspection she spotted glimpses of crimson scales around his clavicle and toned arms. His upper arms also had smaller fins like his tail fins, gold fading to back at the tip.

His charming face was lit up with a warm smile. That smile alone made Aria realize who the strange sea creature was, “No—no it can’t be…”

“Yes…”

KAI?! She couldn’t believe it. Her best friend of two years was the “monster”?! Stunned by the revelation, Aria drew back slightly. It almost felt as if her skin felt paler than before, “I-I…”

“Listen, I know this is all new, but if I explain…”

“You have to go!”

“Wait, what?!” Her best friend watched as she weakly walked back toward the double doors. Kai frowned, “No, no please! Argh, just...wait Aria, come on! I haven’t explained myself yet!” He swam gracefully to catch up with her as she made her way down the pool’s edge.

“Explain what? That throughout our friendship, you never bothered to tell me you’re a mermaid that’s been using my father’s facility.”

“MerMAN.” Kai corrected, getting closer to the latter of the pool.

Aria began to fumble with the keys, continuing down to the end of the space, “However you got in, you better get yourself out. You’re lucky the cameras aren’t working—or however long they haven’t been working. God forbid they’d see what I just saw. A mermai—merman...in a natatorium, of all places! They’d think I’m nuts!” She had her back turned, closing in on the door. Just as her hand pulled at the handle, something moist and smooth held her forearm. Swiftly, she turned to notice Kai was out of the water, back to his normal human self… bare.

Aria blushed cherry, turning away, “DUDE!”

Kai, realizing he was naked, covered himself quickly with his hands, “S-sorry! My kind can’t exactly blend what we wear when we transform. Our clothes will— “

“I get the point.” Aria stopped him going into further detail.

His attention was immediately diverted to the remaining towel. With one hand still covering himself, he awkwardly grabbed it and turned around to wrap it around his hips. Aria shifted her gaze back at her friend for a brief period as he did so. She noticed his well-structured back, his muscles flexing slightly. He certainly had the physique of a model, she had to admit, after seeing him shirtless. When Kai swung around, Aria quickly looked away and went back to opening the door.

He begs her again, “Please Aria, I really ought to explain myself.” He gestured to the bleachers.

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Kai went on to explain how his kind had been living among humans for quite some time. Many of them migrate every so often to new countries since they age slower compared to humans. He’d been to many countries, mainly ones near the oceans and seas. When they reach human ‘preteen’ years, they can form legs to travel on land. The only issue is that every full moon, they must visit large bodies of water or risk becoming ill overtime.

Throughout his conversation, Aria was puzzled by one thing, “Of all places, why the natatorium?” It made one side of her brow rise. “You do realize that there’s a massive ocean at your discretion?”

“You know the fable of the merfolk luring lost souls to their deaths?” Kai said, his gaze fixed on the pool.

“Y-yeah?”

“It’s not entirely true.” Kai answered, “We utilize our vocals to help people lost at sea. The sirens, our darker cousins, are the ones to be concerned about.” He appeared uneasy while speaking about their species; his brows furrowed, “The sirens have a far higher, more seductive voice than we do. I’ve seen them use it firsthand. The humans succumb to their will, killing them in the process.” Aria felt goosebumps run down her arms and up to her neck. She couldn’t imagine being possessed by a siren. Even the notion of being ensnared horrified her.

Kai straightened himself, his gaze set on the moon, “I discovered this place to shield my voice from others. Every full moon, I’d fill it with music. And tonight, I drew you here.”

“Well, at the very least, you’re not a siren creep. I would’ve been dead by now.” Aria spoke up.

“Yeah, and if I wasn’t there to save you the second time around ag—shit.” Kai stopped himself.

Aria cocked her head to the side, “Huh?”

“Nothing,” Kai coughed, shrugging off what he just said, “it’s nothing.”

There was stillness in the room. Aria’s mind began to wonder what Kai had meant by saving her a second time. She’d known him for a while now, but what events had he been there for her? There was the second encounter with her ex with another woman, Kai shielding her away from them. But what on earth was she in such dire need of help that she almost died? Then it hit Aria like someone had tripped her into the deepest of oceans.

A flashback made its way to her mind many years ago, an event she never wanted to relive again. “Oh my god,” she muttered to herself as she rose from the bleacher. Aria took a moment before turning herself around, facing Kai, “It was you… you were the one who rescued me.”

“Aria—I—.”

“It was you!” Aria placed both hands on her forehead. I can’t believe it. After all this time, I wasn’t losing it!

“Aha, ha,” She laughed to herself, “This is absolutely insane!”

“Aria?”

“I thought I had too much sea water at the time of what I saw. To convince the authorities of what I truly saw that day.” Her mind had flashbacks of her talking with the reporters, trying to hide her secret about the mysterious man. She knew any mention of it would’ve caused a stir within the community.

Kai slowly rose out of the bleacher as she continued, “That video that went viral—that was real! Someone really did see something in the water! Oh, God—.” Her stomach suddenly twisted from the overwhelming realization that something else happened that day. She covered her mouth and gasped at the thought of it. Kai was growing worried for her, “Aria? Are you—”

Her eyes moved up to Kai’s, removing her hand, “M-my first kiss…” She pressed her fingers against her lips, “was with a merman?” She could remember the silky touch of lips touching hers right before losing consciousness. She lost her footing from behind.

“ARIANNA!” Kai reached out just as Aria had lost balance, falling into the frigid water. A big splash resonated throughout the natatorium. She flared her arms up, attempting to stay afloat moments after she hit the water. Struggling, she then began to sink into the depths.

“Shit!” Kai quickly removed the towel wrapped around his waist and dove in to rescue her a second time.

“You’re studying the oceans, yet you still don’t know how to swim?”

It was true; Aria had never learned how to swim. Especially in the deep end. Her eyes blinked rapidly before being startled by Kai’s appearance, who had a hold of her in the water, bridal style. His merman form was present along with the slits in his upper neck and gills, enabling him to breathe underwater.

“Hey, hey, hey—it’s alright.” He calmly spoke, taking care not to lose his grip on her, “I’ve got you.” Swimming toward the latter, as they got closer, Aria leaned into the railings. Her shaky arms were still in an aftershock, almost drowning a second time. She gripped the cool iron rails, pulling herself up from Kai’s strong arms. Turning around, she sat upon the marble, her feet still on the second step of the latter. The natatorium’s air conditioning was blasting chilly air into the room, and her clothes began to grow cold on her. Aria’s chattering teeth and shaky hands struggled as she took off the sticky, wet cotton cardigan off, throwing it to the side.

Aria began pressing her bare hands against her wet skin, attempting to keep warm. It felt like she had turned into an icicle from how cold her father had kept the pool’s temperature at. It must’ve been nice earlier for people enjoying the icy water during the day. Goosebumps were seen along her arms and legs, still having a hard time keeping warm.

“Oh, you’re freezing. Here,” He pulled his arms out of the water, his hands hovering near her, “Let me pull the water out.”

“What are you...” Aria’s eyes widened. Streams of water were coming off her body. Right before her eyes, she couldn’t believe it. Kai’s hands were extracting the water as one was twirling an orb of water. Her garments, which were completely soaking wet, had reverted to their previous dry appearance. His hand and fingers lifted, drawing his gaze to Aria’s drenched locks. Slowly, her hair was smooth and dry as the water evaporated out of her. The prolonged stream of liquid from her hair had gathered into the clear orb, plunging back into the water.

“Y-You’re a water bender?” Aria was amazed by the revelation.

“I am. Almost every merman and mermaid wield this sort of power.” “Interesting.” Aria leaned back, her arms behind her.

“So yeah,” Kai changed the subject, “I was the one who saved you that day.” He swam beside the latter, one arm on the marble and the other wrapped around the railing. “At the time, I was just passing through the Atlantic.”

“Traveling from where?” Aria questioned.

“The Azores—and before that, Sicily, the Greek islands—I’ve pretty much been around the world twice in my life.” Kai was staring out toward the pool once more, and Aria was taken aback by how much he’d seen. She longed to one day travel outside her modest seaside harbor town. Aria was envious of him.

He returned his attention to Aria, who looked to be staring into the now calming ripples, “I hadn’t seen a human for many weeks at sea, so seeing a yacht full of people piqued my attention. I was hidden from the human eye, so no one would notice me. Then, just as I was about to keep moving, I noticed you.” As memories poured in, he grinned, “You were so vibrant and cheerful, dancing and singing with your friends. It almost made me want to join in. Then those scheming sirens showed up.” He tensed, eyebrows furrowed, thinking of the horrible turn of events.

“It was them?”

“Sirens have a stronger connection to magic than most merpeople like myself. Not only with their vocals, but they are known to summon storms and lightning at their will.” That would explain the random lightning strike on the yacht that day. Aria reflected, thinking back on that day. After that moment, she remembered falling overboard into the depths below.

“As I was defending the humans, I quickly noticed you in the abyss. Two males were coming after you—I couldn’t let them get to you. I raced over to your aid, using my water bending to push them aside.” Kai’s cheeks flushed unexpectedly, scratching the back of his neck, “And that’s when I kissed you.” Aria’s head shot up, returning her attention as Kai added, “It was for survival purposes—enabling those we kiss to breathe underwater.”

He continued, “I carried you back to shore and soon after made sure you weren’t badly injured. To my surprise, you weren’t. But because of what happened, your body was suddenly in shock. So, I soothed you with my singing, hoping to calm your nerves.”

Aria’s mind flashed back when she heard that familiar angelic voice in the dark void. She could hardly open her eyes as the dreamy song eased her. At that moment, she could’ve sworn she had died, greeted by a divinely enticing voice that called her to enter heaven.

“I never left you—I couldn’t leave you.” Kai’s eyes were bright and golden, “I fled, however, as someone had spotted me in my form. I conjured a mist quickly before the human snapped a picture or recording of me. Emergency personal arrived, as I expected, and assisted with your needs.”

He’s just how I imagined, Aria playing with her hair, listening to his story, a guardian angel—no, a guardian merman. He rescued me, of all people.

“Jade Town wasn’t part of the planned settlement, but I opted to stay anyway. Seeing that Jade was a small town, I hoped to find you. I wanted to know that you were doing fine. Eventually, that night at the fair is when Katheryn introduced me to you.” Aria remembered that day. It was the first night of the summer festival. It was the biggest festival the small port town ever hosted out of the twelve months of the year. She remembered how shy Kai was in the beginning, hesitant and nervous. Gradually, he would open to her, and they would become the best of friends. They even did activities in town, such as volunteering at the farmers’ markets every Saturday.

“At the time, though, you--”

“I was in a relationship.” Yes, Aria was dating her now-ex-boyfriend at the time. Both were new to the relationship at the time, being that they were already on their second date. Looking back at it, Aria had a remembrance of how much of a jerk he was toward Kai. Roughly patting him on the back over winning a carnival game, shaking his hand aggressively, to name a few instances. It almost seemed as though her ex was growing jealous over the two of them spending time together.

“Yes, the asshole—I mean, I’m sorry.” Kai looked over to see Aria had chuckled at Kai’s remark. “I-I’m allowed to say that now, right? Because he really was an asshole to you—to me and everyone in our group of friends.” Aria chuckled once more.

“I’m being serious!”

“I know you are.” A slight smile appeared on Aria, “You can say whatever you want about him.”

“I really contemplated leaving after about two years, seeing that you were serious with that jerk.” Kai adjusts his body against the pool wall, both arms now resting on the marble surface.

“Where would you go?” Aria’s frown was present. She hated knowing for a fact that he’d leave her, one of the two good friends.

“To the Caribbean—maybe Costa Rica—but didn’t end up leaving in the end.” Kai turned his head in Aria’s direction and said, “I didn’t want to leave my human best friend behind. Especially with the turn of events that happened afterwards.”Aria’s heart dropped at the thought of the breakup.

He knew bringing it up was going to bother her, he could tell by her change of expression. Even the way she was now gripping her upper arms, rubbing up and down. It appears Aria was playing back the moment she caught her ex with the city girl, at the same restaurant where they were supposed to have their second anniversary dinner.

“That night, when you visited me...I had already finished packing. I already had a plan in place. I was going to completely leave the town without any word. Pretend I died or something in the lines of that.” Kai said, “Kat texted me about you—she was concerned about you not responding back to any of her texts. Then I heard the knock—and there you were, red and in tears.”

He pushed himself away from the wall, grabbing on to one side of the railings. His hazel gold eyes stared up at Aria, whose browns were welling up, “You ran into my arms, crying and wanting someone to comfort you. Something that jackass never gave you in the first place.”

“Kai.” Aria’s lips trembled slightly. She was trying to hold herself together. Strong emotions were growing.

Kai held either side of the railings, “Never...in my years of existence, had I fallen for someone. Someone like you, bright and pure of heart. I could’ve mistaken you for being a mermaid. But you’re nothing like them. You’re more than just that.” His hands reached higher over the railings, meeting eye to eye with his crush, “I’ve wanted to tell you for the longest time. I was just...argh, I just didn’t know how to express it. And I knew if I had opened my heart to you earlier, it would’ve been inappropriate since you were with someone else at the time. Even then, telling you at your lowest wouldn’t be helpful. I wanted to give you time to heal.” He brightened up, realizing he had admitted himself to her, “...time for you to enjoy life and be happy. Like that day on the yacht. Dancing, living life to the fullest. That’s what I wanted to see again...Aria?”

Her lips trembled even more, her eyes watering up quickly. Trying to figure out the next thing to respond with, she couldn’t. Instead, her voice cracked as emotions flooded her face. It had been building up to this point, the last few months being the worst. Wet tears began to flow down her plump cheeks.

“Aria? Aria—hey look at me.” Kai calmly spoke, using one hand to wipe the longest strain with his thumb, “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” “N-no, it’s not.” Aria uses one of her hands to wipe the other side quickly before dropping it back down. She mumbled, “I h-hate when I’m l-like this.” Her breathing was unbalanced, and she was unable to speak properly. Slowly, she was revealing to her best friend that the event that took place months ago had deeply affected her. Add to that, the fact that Kai had just confessed his feelings to Aria. Something deep within Aria’s heart knew Kai had longed for her... but not to this level.

Low hums emitted from Kai. It captured Aria's attention, drawn once more to the angelic voice. Smiling at her, he reached out, brushing a strain of her hair away from her face. Her tears suddenly stopped running. Her breathing was stable, her lips didn't quiver.

"There, see?" Kai reassured her, "Like nothing ever--" Aria had reached out to him, both splashing back into the water. Lips clashed, surprising Kai in an instant under the water. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer. The kiss deepened as both descended into the water. Aria made sure not to damage the gills around his neck as she wrapped her arms around him. With one push of his tail, they rose back up to the surface. He gracefully swam toward the pool wall, still enveloped in the moment.

Kai kept her upright, pressing his body up against her and trapping her in place. She could feel the smooth scales against her legs, dangling in the water. Her heart was racing faster than normal. One of his hands grazed one side of her body, trailing up to cup her face. Their lips parted as they both looked into each other’s eye’s. Aria noticed how much brighter Kai's golden eyes were from before, almost hypnotizing. She was pretty sure her eyes were glowing with the same attraction.

His glowing eyes faded as Kai shyly tried to break the moment between them, “I... I probably shouldn’t have…” Aria once again shut his mouth, pecking against his soft lips. He chuckled, taking his hand away from her face, placing his fingers against his lips, “Or perhaps I should’ve kept on singing since you like the sound of my voice that much.” His voice suddenly turned husky, staring back at Aria.

A deep blush formed on Aria's face. She couldn't deny it, it was true. His voice was something otherworldly, hypnotizing and beautiful. It soothed her emotions and her anxiety. Everything she was overthinking about, her ex, stress in school, all were forgotten in that moment. Speechless, she felt like Kai had her under his spell.

"I've waited so long," Kai said, tracing her bottom lip with his thumb, "to kiss those sweet lips of yours again."

She gulped before quietly answering, "I've waited for you too."

Kai chuckled once more, taking in her cute response, leaning into her to kiss her more passionately than before.

A few seconds later, Aria broke the kiss. Kai sighed, “What’s wrong?”

“Can you promise me something?” Aria asked, her arms still wrapped around his neck.

Kai smiled, brushing through Aria’s wet hair, “Yes? What is it?”

“Promise me you’ll stop coming to the natatorium. The last thing my father needs to know is someone has been sneaking into the facility for singing practices.” She chuckled.

His lovely smile grew, “I won’t be needing to come here anymore. Now that I have you to sing to.”

They both enjoyed each other’s company throughout the entire evening.

Upstairs, in the lone dark office where work still needed to be done, Aria’s phone lit up. Texts were left unread as the evening grew late:

Katheryn

11:29pm - Coffee sounds great btw! :D Meet up around 9am?

12:10am – Btw, have you heard from Kai? Haven’t heard from him tonight. Tried to get him out.

12:22am – :) K going to bed. Have a good night!

Dad

10:30pm – Hey missy! Hope you’re getting some work done!

11:44pm – Just checking up on you. Hope a siren didn’t put a spell on you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#mermay #merman x human #merman #short story #writers on tumblr #fantasy writing #fiction #mermay 2024

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hannahssimblr · 11 months

Text

Chapter Thirteen

My mother calls me during a late morning walk down by the beach. My ankles are submerged in the salty sea water and I’m blissfully enjoying my alone time when my phone buzzes. I know who it is before I even take it out of my pocket, because nobody calls anybody anymore, only parents. I lift it to my ear, already feeling drained by the pending conversation before she says a word.

“Hello?”

“Hi Evie, I’m checking my emails here and I don’t see anything from your school yet.”

“School?” The word seems somehow abstract to me. It’s summer, I shouldn’t have to think about school, never mind its looming return date. There’s so much summer left to enjoy.

“Yes, it’s the first of August, usually they’ll have sent a booklist by now, but I don’t see anything in my emails yet.”

“Maybe they’ll send it later.”

“Can you check if they’ve sent it to you?”

“I’m not near a computer right now.”

I hear her sigh. “Well did they give you a list at the end of May? Is it buried in your school bag somewhere?”

“I dunno, maybe, you can check.”

“For God’s sake.” She mutters, and I feel like rolling my eyes. This is the last thing I want to think about.

“My bag is in my room somewhere. You can check under the desk maybe.”

“It’s like a tip in there.” She says, and I can hear her move around, opening my bedroom door and shuffling through my things.

“Mam, do we have to talk about this now?”

“Evelyn, I wish you could clean up your clothes off the floor. The cut of this room. I hope you’re not leaving the Healys’ mobile like this.”

“I’m not.” I lie. “I’m cleaning up my clothes.”

The beach around me is full of sunbathers and children, all merrilly enjoying their holidays, and I’m certain that none of them are thinking about school. It’s too early to be confronted with this, and I in fact haven’t even been watching TV. I’ve so far managed to avoid the cruelty of the back-to-school ads and live in blissful ignorance, pretending that the summer is endless and September does not loom ominously ahead of me.

In the distance there’s somebody running along the shore, and I absently wonder what kind of self-punishing idiot would do something like that in the heat of the day. In my ear my mother rifles through papers. “I can’t find any list.” She says. “Are you sure you got one?”

“I never said I got one.”

“Then why are you sending me on a wild goose chase?”

I sigh loudly. “You sent yourself on one. I don’t know what I need for school. I’m sure they’ll send the email with everything I’ll need soon.”

“Well, how’s your uniform?”

“There’s a hole in one of the elbows of my jumper.”

“And your skirt?”

“I think it’s fine.”

“Alright well I’m going into town later, I’m going to get a packet of white shirts and a new jumper. Anything else?”

I squeeze my eyes shut trying to think, but the prevailing thought is of how much I hate this conversation, it’s like mental exertion. “Black pens.” I manage. “And A4 notebooks.”

“What else?”

“Maybe some school socks.”

“Do you have a sharpener and eraser?”

“I think so.”

“You think?”

“Okay, will you check my pencil case and see? I can’t remember.” I hear her shuffling around some more and stare out at the sea, vacant little boats bobbing on the surface. The runner is getting closer to me, I can hear his feet distantly hitting the wet sand.

“Your eraser looks worse for wear.”

“Because I was stabbing it with my pencil.”

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“Thanks.”

“What about a lunchbox?”

“Mam…”

“Evie! I’m trying to make sure that you’re organised this year, and not leaving everything until the last minute as usual.”

“I know, I just, I think I have everything I need. I’ll check my emails when I’m home and see if I have the booklist. I just want to think about summer, not school.”

I hear her sigh. “I know, I’m trying my best. Do you know when you’re coming home?”

“Not really, sometime at the end of the month.”

“Well your first day is the 27th, so if you could arrange to be back before then…”

“I will, Shane is driving back for his debs a few days before that anyway, so I suppose we’ll all be coming with him.”

“Oh, very good. Does he have a date to the debs?”

“I don’t know, probably though. I don’t ask him about that kind of stuff.”

“Well do you think he’d ever ask you to go with him?” She’s insane. She’s been obsessed with this weird idea she has of me fancying Shane since I was at least twelve. I think I might have once, but only because he was the only boy I really knew. Now, I couldn’t imagine anything more mismatched, in fact, the idea of it sends a shiver down my spine.

“That’s not going to happen, I’m sure he’s going to go with someone who isn’t his little sister’s friend, mam.” I’m halfway through my sentence when I realise that I recognise the running man. He’s got dark brown hair, golden tanned skin and he’s wearing a green t-shirt that’s stuck to his body with sweat. It’s Jude. I immediately panic, believing nonsensically that him seeing me on the phone to my mother is the most embarrassing scenario imaginable and almost fling my Blackberry into the sea.

“Well, you never know.” She goes on. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Mhm, yeah absolutely” I start anxiously flailing and tucking my hair behind my ear, having no idea how good or bad I look. I’m horrified to see that Jude, even while sweaty and jogging towards me, is completely and utterly beautiful.

“Do you think he’d ever ask you on a date?”

“Hm, what? Shane? No. Never.”

“Ah it’s a shame. And how’s Kelly getting on?”

“Okay.”

“And Claire?”

“Fine. They’re fighting.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I have to go.” I hang up the phone just as Jude reaches me and he slows down, wiping sweat from his face with his upper arm and smiling a wide, white smile. “Hey Evie!”

“Oh hey! I didn’t know it was you!” I try my best to sound breezy and unbothered, even though I can’t stop conjuring up horrible images of how I must look in my head. I imagine myself at my absolute ugliest, nose pink and shiny, hair sticking up weirdly, simultaneously greasy and frizzy. I reach up to smooth it down, and it feels fine, but I can’t be sure.

“Just out for a walk?”

“Yeah, just enjoying the sun.”

“Same here. Hot, isn’t it? Sorry, I’m so sweaty.” He gestures to himself and I take it as permission to look at his body. I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to look at him.

“I suppose that’s what happens when you go running in a heatwave.”

“I know, there’s no escaping it though, it’s just been hot all the time lately, even at night it’s the same so if I don’t get out and run when it’s hot I’ll never do it.” He nods towards the sea. “At least I can swim after it, and the water is so nice.”

“Yeah it’s lovely.” I agree. “I’ve been getting in three times a day.”

He nods and looks down at his shoes. A bead of sweat drips from a strand of his saturated hair down onto the sand and he shuffles side to side in a manner that seems impatient. He wipes his upper lip with the back of his wrist. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t… I didn’t um, text you after that night we went to the graveyard.”

I’m surprised so I laugh a little. “Oh, no, well I didn’t expect you to, like I wasn’t waiting for a message or anything, it’s fine.”

“I know, I just said that I would when I was free and I didn’t, I’ve been kind of distracted the last couple of weeks.”

“It’s okay, I understand! I get like that sometimes too.”

“I just have a bad habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, like, I’m a flake. I hope you weren’t waiting to hear from me.”

“No way. I didn’t notice.” I say, even though I did. “Don’t worry, I honestly do that all the time, things just get in the way.”

“Well, if you want we can hang out now? Are you busy today?”

“No, I’m free.”

“Okay well, do you feel like a swim?”

“Right now?”

“Why not, yeah.”

I glance down at my shorts and t-shirt. “Oh, well I don’t have my togs with me at the moment.”

“Me neither I was going to go in naked.”

“Wha- oh, um, really?”

“No.” He grins and grabs the fabric of his shorts “I’ll just wear these, they kind of double up as running shorts. Look, you don’t have to if you don’t have anything to swim in, I just thought I’d ask. Maybe we can hang out later if you don’t have-”

“No!” I say with far too much frenzy. “Just give me a sec, I’ll run up to the mobile and grab my togs, just… just wait here.” I turn and I run away from him down the beach, my feet drumming hollowly on the sand as I go. It doesn’t take me long to get back to the caravan park, just up through the dunes, over a rough-hewn fence, between two overgrown hedges and onto a gravel path that leads all the way through a muddle of holiday homes towards ours. Then I dash up the deck steps and into my bedroom at the speed of light, the PVC doors slamming into the walls, hoping the whole time that Jude hasn’t given up waiting and gone swimming without me. I snatch the slightly damp bikini I wore this morning from the window where it was drying and wriggle quickly out of my clothes. Once my underwear has been ditched among the tangled mess of my sheets I get into my togs, tie the neoprene strings behind my neck and then within thirty seconds flat I am ready to complete another five-hundred metre dash.

Prev // Next

#sims #sims 4 #ts4 #simlit #sims 4 story #sims story #writing #fiction #romance #sims 4 storytelling #sims4 storytelling #sims storytelling #lucky girl part 1

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katiesplaypen · 1 year

Text

LITTLE BIG SIS (CHAPTER 18)

Half hunched over, Sophie became nauseous with shame of the contents filling the back of her Huggies. She could tell by the firmness of her accident that there must be a bulge in the seat of her pants, and she was praying that any classmate standing behind her would not notice. She became even more self conscious thinking about it they had actually seen the bulge appear.

Normally her face would go red from embarrassment like this, but she was so terrified by the predicament that her face went flush instead. Thankfully for her, her potential boyfriend was deep into the microscope at the moment and couldn’t see the change in her demeanor or the color drain from her face. She now had no choice but to ask for the restroom, even if that seemed like telling Jake she had bodily functions.

“Hey, Jake. I’ll be right back.” She said to her lab partner.

He looked up slightly from the microscope.

“Okay. Sure.”

Sophie approached Mrs. Ellisons desk and nervously asked for permission to go to the bathroom. The teacher could sense this was an emergency for the girl. She had seen desperate students many times. Especially girls who were too ashamed to admit they need the toilet. However, given Sophie’s current posture and the email she received from the nurse’s office earlier, she had a feeling Sophie’s situation was a bit different. She didn’t need the toilet. She needed a changing.

In all actuality, she needed both. She needed out of her wet, poopy pull-up and she needed to relieve her currently full bladder. Leaving the classroom and walking very uncomfortable down the hall, Sophie began to fear she wasn’t going to make it. The closer she got to the girls room, the more her urine wanted to escape her body. She started sprinting to the bathroom and when she ran in she was greeted by a face she did not want to see.

“Wow, slow down there, kiddo.” Said the girl standing in front of the mirror, checking her hair.”

“Megan?” Sophie said, caught off guard.

“What’s a matter, Soph? Gotta go potty? At least you’re trying to make it this time.”

Sophie was too desperate to think of any comeback.

“But you shouldn’t run, sweetheart.” Megan kept teasing. “You could trip and fall. Then you would have a bloody nose AND wet pants.”

“Just leave me alone, Megan.” Sophie said, pushing the girl to the side and rushing to a stall as she began to undo her overalls before even opening the stall door. Suddenly, a look of panic washed over Sophie’s face as she struggled to get her buttons to move. They were stuck.

Megan watched in amusement as her former friend struggled with her straps while simultaneously doing the potty dance.

“Look at you all fidgety.” Megan said with an ear to ear grin. “You must really have a baby bladder, huh? And you can’t even get your pants undone. Who let a little girl like you into high school?”

“This isn’t funny Megan!” Sophie yelled between her teeth as she squirmed in desperation trying to get her overalls free. The toilet I’m sight just made things worse.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re right. We are friends after all. Do you want my help?”

Sophie did not want Megan’s help, but she needed it.

“Yes, please.” She said on the verge of tears.

“Sure thing.” Megan said cheerfully as she walked to the sink and turned on the faucet.

“What are you doing?” Sophie cried with her legs crossed.

“I’m helping.” Megan said. “You have to pee. I’m helping you pee. Just think of waterfalls and swimming pools, running rivers. Think of ice cold lemonade.”

“Stop it, Megan!” Sophie demanded. “Please help me get these off!”

“Oh, I don’t think so BABY GIRL.” Megan responded. “If a 16 year old isn’t capable of undoing her pants to use the bathroom, then she deserves to pee in them like a little toddler. So, just do it, pants-wetter.”

“I’m not a pants-wetter!” Sophie said one hand buried into her crotch and the other desperately trying to get her strap apart.

“Bedwetter, pants-wetter, what’s the difference?” Megan retorted. “You can’t control your bladder. It doesn’t matter if it’s day or night. A baby’s a baby.”

“I’m not a baby!” Sophie cried once more.

“Oh, I think you are.” Megan said, leaning into Sophie. “Tickle, tickle, tickle.” Megan began wiggle her fingers along Sophie’s sides, making her muscles spasm. “Cootchie, cootchie, coo.” She continued.

It was too much for Sophie. In that moment her bladder gave out. All at once her urine began to stream into her pants, and the pull-up she was wearing could not hold one more drop. A dark patch began to appear on the leg of her overalls right below the diapers leg hole. Megan stepped back when she heard the sound of liquid hitting fabric. She smiled and laughed as he watched Sophie soak her pants for the second time that day. Then she noticed how the pattern of pee was forming. Something didn’t look right.

“Oh my god! Are you wearing a diaper!?”

#pullups #pants wetting #peepants #bed wetting #omorashi #regression #ab dl community #goodnites #age regression #poop pants

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chaisshitposts · 11 months

Note

hi love if you don’t mind can you go in more detail about the time you entered the void and manifested your job? what was your mindset like before you entered? what do you think helped you enter? i’m in my 20s as well and really want to at least get my dream job first of all things and then i feel like i could finally relax you know? :( so your help would be greatly appreciated🥹

also i think your followers are really nice and mature so when i do tap in, i wouldn’t mind affirming (everyone who likes my success story and has good intentions will enter roe)

sure! let's see if I can remember as many details as possible— it was a couple days after I had my job interview, I had already been affirmin' my ass off that that job was mine and no one could take it from me— on this particular day, I think it was a Sunday. the lady who interviewed me said I would get my answer on the followin' Wednesday, and god that stressed me out, but I still kept affirmin'. on that day, I felt an extreme sense of drowsiness and so I had went to try and sleep in my bed. I already knew about SATs and whatever so I thought I could just affirm as I go to sleep, which I did. I was 'asleep' but I was still repeating my affirmations over and over, only focusin' on them while I was physically tossing and turning. Since I was tryna sleep, my eyes were already closed and it was silent in my room so ig I just didn't care about my surroundings. I do, however, remember that at some point I was affirmin' and was fully aware of my affirmations but then somethin' changed inside me and I was like 'Its done, nothing more for me to do, I don't wanna stress over this anymore. I can't sleep so, might as well just go back downstairs.' Then I opened my eyes and got up, feeling my stress about everything completely gone.

I went downstairs, right as my ma sat down after gettin' a package off the porch and that's when she gave me my new phone. (I still live with my family, yes, but only bc california is a dirt bag ofc) And I kid ya not, a couple minutes after I opened up the box with my new phone in it, I got a congratulations email from the lady who interviewed me, as well as the offer letter on my old phone. I freaked out afterwards bc I was like, ain't no way??? She said she'd send me somethin' on WEDNESDAY?? It's SUNDAY. I even told my ma and she was excited, then I was like-- I really manifested this??? After an entire year of being unemployed despite havin' my degree, and forcin' myself to work at Amazon and FedEx just to have a lil' change to call my own... I finally scored the job I WANT.

The best advice I could give you tbh is that ya should make robotic affirmin', the list method, and the ten minute method yer best friend. I did not have a good outlook on employment until I settled down and decided to change my thinkin' and god I was still stressed as fuck even when I affirmin'. I've never been good at talkin' to strangers, especially on the phone or on video call, but I affirmed right up until the interview started that the job would be mine no matter what and I was completely calm. Now, I am a step closer to my dream job. (I'm a substitute teacher currently workin' towards my credentials to be a full-time teacher in case ya were wonderin', the company I work for also provides grants to pay for the schooling needed to get credentialed which is such a big fuckin' bonus)

and yes, they definitely all are amazin' people, I never expected to have such a positive lil' community of followers but I am grateful to them, for sure.

bUt, okay, lemme stop ramblin' here's what I wantcha to do anonnie— I want ya to make yerself a list, title it whatever ya want to call the list, and fill that list with affirmations, askformations, statements, new beliefs, whatever ya want. could include anything ya want, details about the job ya want, how much money ya wanna make, how ya want the bosses to treat ya, what kinda work environment ya want, whatever, and then I want ya to include some self-concept affirmations, as well as some affirmations about the void (whatever feels natural for you), ah and some manifestation affirmations too. make it however long or short ya want, doesn't matter. once ya have that, read it over as many times as ya want and then throughout the day, whenever ya can, I want ya to robotically affirm that you've got everything on [name of yer list], say this whenever ya can, and especially when ya start thinkin' negative about whatever you desire or whenever ya feel like you're about spiral. affirm this through everything and anything, affirm if ya can't help but cry, affirm when yer angry, affirm when yer happy, just keep affirmin.'

as long as ya keep this up and correct yer thoughts, you'll have guaranteed movement in yer life, that's the law. even in false hope, whatever is repeated shall harden into fact.

#— chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~

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baocean · 2 years

Text

LOVE AIN’T - RAFE CAMERON

Pt. 2 of the country song series (pls give country a chance)

Rafe Cameron x reader soft!Rafe x reader

Warnings: cheating?? Not really but could be perceived as. Swearing, cheating boyfriend, slight fighting.

Summary: Your boyfriend was a dick. Rafe Cameron kept trying to tell you that.

You stood on the side of the road, in front of your apartment. Your yellow sundress was blowing in the harsh wind, a tell tale sign a storm was coming.

Your dress was new, you had bought it because he had once told you he liked you best in yellow.

Jacob, your boyfriend, had told you he was going to pick you up at five thirty. It was almost six o’clock now, no sign of him.

You sighed, looking at your phone screen one more time, before unlocking it and calling the only person you knew could help.

Rafe picked up on the third ring, speaking to someone as he did.

“Hold on one second, I’m in the middle of something.” He said into the phone. You heard a shuffle and something being said.

“Okay, I’m here. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were busy. Call me when you’re done.” You tried to hide how upset you sounded. Rafe was a professional at picking up when you weren’t happy. He had been doing it a lot recently.

“No, I got out of it. What’s going on? I thought you had a date with Jacob?”

“He isn’t answering his phone.” You sighed, again.

“Fucking dick. Where are you?” Rafe’s tone changed in an instant. You had dealt with an angry Rafe many time before this one. His anger wasn’t new. His anger because of something to do with Jacob and yours, was.

“I’m just in front of my apartment. Will you come?” You asked him. You turned on your heel, took one last look for Jacob’s car, then headed back to inside.

“Of course. I’m at the office, be there in ten.”

It took Rafe nine minutes to get to your complex. It was right on the outside of figure eight, an apartment you afforded only for working your ass off as an assistant for one of Ward’s business partners. It’s how you met Rafe three years ago. When you first started, you were nineteen years old and were at the bottom of the company, only employed to answer phone calls and emails. Now, you had your own set of people, you were much nicer to them than your boss was.

When you opened your front door for him, he wore an apologetic expression, one you wanted him to get rid of before he walked into your apartment.

“Why are you still with him, y/n? It’s not like he treats you like a queen.” Rafe shut the door behind him.

“Seriously, Rafe. If I asked for your opinion about Jacob I would have asked you.” You turned around, snapping at him. He looked at you, blank look painting his features.

When he didn’t say anything in reply, you sat on your couch and tried thinking of a reason as to why Jacob ditched you this time.

“Maybe he got caught up in studying.” That’s what happened last time, maybe it happened again.

Jacob was in law school. It made sense that he was studying more than he was breathing. He just promised he would take you out to that new steakhouse tonight, that’s all.

“Stop trying to reason his mistakes. If he wanted to be here, he would.” Rafe huffed. He sat next to you, pulling your legs up onto his lap, his thumb running over your ankle bone.

When you compared the two boys, it seemed like a stupid choice to be heartbroken about Jacob when Rafe was right there, his full attention in the palm of your hand.

Rafe was taller, more handsome, treated you better than Jacob did. He knew you way better than Jacob did. On Valentine’s Day this year, Jacob got you red roses. Rafe went all the way across town to get you yellows tulips, he knew yellow was your favorite color.

“You wore my dress.” His voice dropped, almost to a whisper. You looked over at him and shrugged. He gave you a smile.

Even Rafe’s pretty smile couldn’t make you feel better, you thought. You wish you could hold your feelings for Jacob in your hand and toss them out the window.

“He doesn’t deserve you, pretty girl.” Rafe cooed. You were used to Rafe’s sweet talk. It’s how he got everything.

Boy, did Rafe get everything he wanted. His road in life was paved and gold plated. It felt unfair to compare Rafe to Jacob when you put their lives side by side. He got his job easy peasy because his dad was the boss. He got an apartment on figure eight that his parents split.

Jacob had to work for most things. You huffed and thought for the way Rafe and Jacob both acted, it would be the other way around. It was Rafe who introduced you to Jacob, they played football together in high school. Jacob was on a scholarship, it was the only way he could have attended.

You thought about all the times that Jacob had you meet at a hotel. He said that he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Rafe was the one to tell you his parents lived ten minutes from figure eight. You and Jacob fought about it, that was the last time he ever stayed over in Outer Banks. He always drove home at the end of the night.

You couldn’t help but cringe. Sure, you had thought about ending it with him then and there. Leaving him for not thinking you were good enough to sleep with in a real house. Like you were some one night stand and the Holiday Inn was the best place he could think of.

“You’re angry.” Rafe’s voice broke your ever growing frustration with your boyfriend. You shifted and laid back on Rafe, tucked between his arm and the side of his chest.

“I think it’s been over between us for a long time.” You played with the two bracelets on Rafe’s left wrist. One was a blue, orange, and pink colored string bracelet, one Wheezie made for him a few years ago. The colors symbolized the Cameron siblings favorite colors. The other was a thin silver chain bracelet. It was the one you got him for Christmas last year.

“Yea. Are you going to end it?” Rafe asked you. You nodded without hesitation, finding yourself wanting to break up with Jacob. You wanted it to be over between you two.

You looked at Rafe, wondering if somehow he weaseled the break up thought into your head without you noticing.

He looked down at you, giving you a smile that made your tummy settle.

Breaking up with your boyfriend had been a scary thought, Rafe was the one who helped it all feel a little less terrifying.

“Will you go on a date with me after you break up with him?” Rafe asked, taking you by surprise.

“You gonna stand me up?”

“Don’t even, y/n.” His smile dropped, but you laughed, throwing your head back into his shoulder. You twisted to get a good look at his face. When you did, his forehead dropped to yours, letting you get a great view of his eyes.

“Seriously, I want to show you what real love is. Love ain’t leaving you on a street corner.”

“What’s it like getting loved by Rafe Cameron?” You joked, bringing your hand up to tuck his hair behind his ear. His hair was just long enough to do so, you reminded yourself you were going to tell him to get a haircut.

“You would already know.” He was talking so quietly he wasn’t sure you even heard him. Shock filled your features and Rafe wondered if he was going to scare you away.

When you leaned in and kissed him, it was like everything aligned for Rafe. He had been working for what felt like his whole life for this. To feel how soft your lips felt and to know how well they fit with his. To be able to tangle his hands in your hair and to pull you onto his lap, letting his hand slide lazily around your waist.

You weren’t sure what had taken over you. It may have been Rafe confessing his love for you, when not even five minutes ago you were talking about your boyfriend. You thought that was probably it.

When he pulled back to kiss your neck, he chuckled, tickling you.

“I can’t believe I was so stupid.” He said, leaving a small love bite on the side of my neck.

“What are you talking about?” You asked him, pushing your hands under his collared shirt and gripping onto his shoulders.

“I was stupid to introduce you two. I was stupid to not tell you I loved you sooner.” He breathed out.

He fiddled with the strap of the yellow dress he said you looked so beautiful in the first time you wore it. The dress you wore when he told you it was his favorite color on you.

The two of you didn’t talk for a little, just looked at each other and kissed the spots you loved.

Rafe had told you about all the times he almost told you how he loved you, but then decided it was better to keep it in.

“I’m glad I finally got it out.” He laughed. You joined it. When he kissed you again, he leaned into you. Rafe tried to get as close to you as he could, hoping to make up for the time he lost.

…..

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