#i feel like I'm going to reread this and want to add other stuff

[confessedlyfannish]

Writing Prompt #12

Bruce is reading the paper when the pour of Tim's coffee goes abruptly quiet. It would be hard to pinpoint why this is disturbing if it wasn't for the way the soft, tinny sound the vent system in the manor makes cuts out for the first time since being updated in the 90s. The pour, Bruce realizes, has not slowed to a trickle before stopping. It has simply stopped. And there is no overeager clack of a the mug against the marble counter or the uncouth first slurp (nor muttered apology at Alfred's scolding look) immediately following the end of the pour.

Bruce fights the instinct to use all of his senses to investigate, and instead keeps his eyes on the byline of the article detailing the latest set of microearthquakes to hit the midwest in the last week. Microearthquakes aren't an unusual occurrence and aren't noticeable by human standards, which is why this article is regulated to page seven, but from several hundred a day worldwide to several hundred a day solely in the East North Central States, seismologists are baffled.

Bruce had been considering sending Superman to investigate under the guise of a Daily Planet article requested by Bruce Wayne (Wayne Industries does have an offshoot factory in the area) when everything had stopped twenty seconds ago. That is what he assumes has happened (having not moved a muscle to confirm) in the amount of time he assumes has passed. His million dollar Rolex does not quite audibly tick but in the absolute silence it should be heard, which confirms the silence to be exactly that—absolute.

While Bruce can hold his breath with the best of the Olympian swimmers, he has never accounted for a need to remain without blinking without being able to move one's eyes. Rotating the eyeballs will maintain lubrication such that one could go without blinking for up to ten minutes. But staring at the byline fixedly, he estimates another twenty seconds before tears start to form.

These are the thoughts Bruce distracts himself with, because he doesn't dare consider how Tim and Alfred haven't made a (living) sound in the past forty-five seconds. About Damian, packing his bag upstairs for school after a morning walk with Titus that was "just pushing it, Master Damian".

There is a knife to his right, if memory serves (it does). In the next five seconds—

"Your wards and guardian are fine, Mr. Wayne," the deepest voice Bruce has ever heard intones. For a dizzying moment, it is hard to pinpoint the location of the voice, for it comes from everywhere—like the chiming of a clocktower whilst inside the tower, so overpowering he is cocooned in its volume.

But it is not spoken loudly, just calmly, and when he puts the paper down, folds it, and looks to his right, a blue man sits in Dick's chair.

He wears a three piece suit made entirely of hues of violet, tie included. He has a black brooch in the shape of a cogwheel pinned to his chest pocket, a simple chain clipped to his lapel. Black leather gloves delicately thumb Bruce's watch (no longer on his wrist, somewhere between second 45 and 46 it has stopped being on his wrist), admiring it.

"You'll forgive me," the man says with surety. "Clocks are rather my thing, and this is an impressive piece." He turns it over and reveals the 'M. Brando' roughly scratched into the silver back. He frowns.

"What a shame," he says, placing it face side up on the table.

"Most would consider that the watch's most valuable characteristic." Bruce says, voice steady, hands neatly folded before him. Two inches from the knife. To his left, there is an open doorway to the kitchen. If he turns his head, he might be able to get a glance of Tim or Alfred.

He doesn't look away from the man.

"It is the arrogance of man," the man says, raising red eyes (sclera and all) to Bruce, "to think they can make their mark on time."

"...Is that supposed to be considered so literally?" Bruce asks, with a light smile he does not mean.

The man smiles lightly back, eyes crinkling at the corners. He looks to be in his mid thirties, clean-shaven. His skin is a dull blue, his hair a shock of white, and a jagged scar runs through one eye and curving down the side of his cheek, an even darker, rawer shade of blue-purple.

The man turns the watch back over and taps at the engraving. "Let me ask you this," he says. "When we deface a work of art, does it become part of the art? Does it add to its intrinsic meaning?"

Bruce forces his shoulders to shrug. "It's arbitrary," he says. "A teenager inscribes his name on the wall of an Ancient Egyptian temple and his parents are forced to publicly apologize. But runic inscriptions are found on the Hagia Sophia that equate to an errant Viking guard having inscribed 'Halfdan was here' and we consider it an artifact of a time in which the Byzantine Empire had established an alliance with the Norse and converted vikings to Christianity."

"The vikings were as errant as the teenager," the man says, "in my experience." He leans back in his chair. "I suppose you could say the difference is time. When time passes, we start to think of things as artistic, or historical. We find the beauty in even the rubble, or at least we find necessity in the destruction..."

He offers Bruce the watch. After a moment, Bruce takes it.

"The problem, Mr. Wayne, is that time does not pass for me. I see it all as it was, as it is, as it ever will be, at all times. There is no refuge from the horror or comfort in that one day..." he closes his hand, the leather squeaking. And then his face smooths out, the brief severity gone. He regards Bruce calmly.

"You can look left, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce looks left. Framed by the doorway, Tim looks like a photograph caught in time. A stream of coffee escapes the spout of the stainless steel pot he prefers over the Breville in the name of expediency, frozen as it makes its way to the thermos proclaiming BITCH I MIGHTWING. Tim regards his task with a face of mindless concentration, mouth slack, lashes in dark relief against his pale skin as he looks down at the mug. Behind him, Bruce can see Alfred's hand outstretched towards the refrigerator handle, equally and terrifyingly still.

"My name is Clockwork," the man says. "I have other names, ones you undoubtedly know, but this one will be bestowed upon me from the mouth of a child I cherish, and so I favor it above all else. I am the Keeper of Time."

"What do you want from me?" Bruce asks, shedding Wayne for Batman in the time it takes to meet Clockwork's eyes. The man acknowledges the change with a greeting nod.

"In a few days time, you will send Superman to the Midwest to investigate the unusual seismic activity. By then, it will be too late, the activity will be gone. They will have already muzzled him."

"Him."

"There is a boy with the power to rule the realm I come from. Your government has been watching him. The day he turned 18, they took him from his family and hid him away. I want you to retrieve him. I want you to do it today."

"Why me?"

"His parents do not have the resources you do, both as Batman and Bruce Wayne. You will dismantle the organization that is keen on keeping him imprisoned, and you will offer him a scholarship to the local University. You and yours will keep him safe within Gotham until he is able to take his place as my King."

This is a lot of information to take in, even for Bruce. The idea that there could be a boy powerful enough to rule over this (god, his mind whispers) entity and that somehow, he has slipped under all of their radars is as frustrating as it is overwhelming. But although Clockwork has seemed willing to converse, he doesn't know how many more questions he will get.

"You have the power to stop time," he decides on, "why don't you rescue him? Would he not be better suited with you and your people?"

"Within every monarchy, there is a court," Clockwork. "Mine will be unhappy with the choice I have made," he looks at Bruce's watch, head cocked. "In different worlds, they call you the Dark Knight. This will be your chance to serve before a True King."

Bruce bristles. "I bow to no one."

"You'll all serve him, one day," Clockwork says, patiently. "He is the ruler of realms where all souls go, new and old. When you finally take refuge, he will be your sanctuary." He frowns. "But your government rejects the idea of gods. All they know is he is other. Not human. Not meta. A weapon."

"A weapon you want me to bring to my city."

"I believe you call one of your weapons 'Clark', do you not?" Clockwork asks idly. "But you misunderstand me. They seek to weaponize him. He is not restrained for your safety, but for their gain."

"And if I don't take him?" Bruce asks, because a) Clockwork has implied he will be at the very least impeded, at worst destroyed over this, and b) he never did quite learn not to poke the bear. "You won't be around if I decide he's better off with the government."

"You will," Clockwork says, with the same certainty he's wielded this entire conversation. "Not because he is a child, though he is, nor because you are good, though you are, nor even because it is better power be close at hand than afar.

"I have told you my court will be unhappy with me. In truth, there are others who also defend the King. Together we will destroy the access to our world not long after this conversation. The court will be unable to touch him, but neither will we as we face the repercussions for our actions. I am telling you this, because in a timeline where I do not, you think I will be there to protect him. And so when he is in danger, even subconsciously, you choose to save him last, or not at all. And that is the wrong choice.

"So cement it in your head, Bruce Wayne," the man says, "You will go to him because I tell you to. And you will keep him safe until he is ready to return to us. He will find no safety net in me. So you will make the right choice, no matter the cost."

"Or, when our worlds connect again, and they will," his voice now echoes in triplicate with the voices of the many, the young, the old, Tim, Bruce's mother, Barry Allen, Bruce's own voice, "I will not be the only one who comes for you."

"Now," he says, producing a Wayne Industries branded BIC pen. "I will tell you the location the boy is being kept, and then I would like my medallion back, please. In that order."

Bruce glances down and sees a golden talisman, attached to a black ribbon that is draped haphazardly around the neck of his bathrobe, so light (too light, he still should have—) he has not felt its weight until this moment.

Bruce flips the paper over, takes the pen, and jots down the coordinates the being rattles off over the face of a senator. By his calculation, they do correspond with a location in the midwest.

"You will find him on B6. Take a left down the hallway and he will be in the third room down, the one with a reinforced steel door. Take Mr. Kent and Mr. Grayson with you, and when you leave take the staircase at the end of the hallway, not the elevator."

The man gets up, dusts off his impeccably clean pants, and offers him a hand to shake.

"We will not meet again for some time, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce looks at the creature, stands, and shakes his hand. It feels like nothing. The Keeper of Time sighs, although nothing has been said.

"Ask your question, Mr. Wayne."

"I have more than one."

"You do," Clockwork says. "But I have heard them all, and so they are one. Please ask, or I will not be inclined to answer it."

"What does this boy mean for the future, that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for him?"

There is a pause.

"So that is the one," Clockwork says, after a time. "Yes. I see. I should resolve this, I suppose."

"Resolve what?"

"It is not his future I mean to protect," the man says. "It is his present."

"You want to keep him safe now..." Bruce says, but he's not sure what the being is trying to say.

"I am not inclined," Clockwork repeats, stops. His expression turns solemn, red eyes widening. In their reflection, Bruce can see something. A rush of movement too quick to make heads or tails of, like playing fast forward on a videotape. "Superman reports no signs of unusual seismic activity. With nothing further to look into, you let it go in favor of other investigative pursuits. You do not find him, as you are not meant to. He stays there. His family, his friends, they cannot find him. His captors tell him they have moved on. He does not believe them, until he does. He stays there. He stays there until he is strong enough to save himself."

Clockwork speaks stiffly, rattling off the chain of events as if reading a Justice League debrief. "He is King. He will always be King. He is strong, and good, and compassionate, and he is great for my people because yours have betrayed his trust beyond repair. He throws himself into being the best to ever Be, because there is nothing Left for him otherwise. We love him. We love him. We love him. My King. Forevermore."

The red film in his eyes stall out, and Bruce is forced to look away from how bright the image is, barely making out a silhouette before they dull back to their regular red.

"I am not inclined," Clockwork says slowly, "To this future."

"Because of what it means in the present," Bruce finishes for him. "They're not just imprisoning him, are they."

"They will have already muzzled him."

Clockworks is right in front of him faster than he can process, fist gripping the medallion at his neck so tight he now feels the ribbon digging into his skin.

"Unlike you, Mr. Wayne," and for the first time, the god is angry, and the image of it will haunt Bruce for the rest of his life, "I do not believe in building a better future on the back of a broken child."

"Find him," the deity orders, and yanks the necklace so hard the ribbon rips—

Clack!

"sluuuuurp!"

"Master Timothy, honestly!"

"Sorry Alfred!"

[merakiui]

hi mera i reread your ceo azul fic and i still can’t get over how well-written it was…i even got an aha moment when i noticed some things that i missed in my first reading

ik there won’t be a sequel which is fine since you’re already writing a lot of other stuff at the moment , but i kinda remember you mentioned before that the fic originally had a smut scene but you omitted that cause it didn’t fit the vibe of the fic which i understand tbh

but i’m curious….kinda like a delete scene of a movie, would you share it if you have already written it? if not, would you share to what was your original idea of the smut scene? if you don’t want to, that’s okay!!!

Hiiii!! :D thank you so much for reading it!!!! I'm happy you enjoyed it!! <3 this ceo Azul is so obsessed... I loved writing his meltdown in that fic the most. Out of every Zuzu meltdown I've written, I think that one is the yummiest. So much emotion and manipulation (from darling) in that scene!!!!!

Aaaa yes!! The fic did indeed have a smut scene planned. 👀 I can happily share what it was going to be. While I didn't write it out, I still clearly remember what it was meant to be. Essentially, Azul was going to knock you up in the panic room-turned-nursery hehe. In the story, he locks you in the room by yourself and then goes off to give you space (which then leads into the meltdown once you wake hours later). But originally (before it was scrapped) he was going to drag you over to the bed and fuck you all while rambling (very delusional and obsessed) about how this will be good for you and him, how you just need time to warm up to this new life, how he's doing all of this for you, how you'll be a great mama to the baby.

But now that I'm dwelling on it, I like the idea of an Azul who can wait for you to gradually soften just enough to allow him to be intimate with you. A Stockholm Syndrome route! Soft, sweet lovemaking with your boss lover Azul. (๑-﹏-๑) hopefully in this unofficial sequel, Azul finally adds more life to the house because in my mind it is the most bleak modernist house to ever exist. orz he needs to put up some artwork or pictures or decorations so it feels less empty and more like a home for two (soon to be three because a baby will inevitably be on the way).

[nalyra-dreaming]

Heey, I've finished Memnoch, and I'm evidently among those crazy people who enjoy it a lot. Although it would land differently if I didn't read ahead. The further I go, the more this wet cat of a man entices me. PL Lestat did something to my brain, I will probably love all the mad shenanigans now. + The ending made a lot of sense after TVA and Blood and Gold. I kiiind of regret I've skipped this part at first, though, because now I'm curious what the ending would do to me without spoilers 🤣

So, a question. How did Armand's religious frenzy look for you when other novels haven't come out yet? I'm not sure I would have understood it the same way only with his TVL chapter. And what did you think in general with the context of what Anne was saying at the time? It kinda did feel like she didn't want to write about them anymore and wanted to explore something else. So I get why people would be confused.

By now I enjoy it a lot as well!! It grew on me on second reread, which is not that far back actually, and was followed by a pause and then a third. There is a lot in there and a lot that makes one think, and a lot... crazy stuff *laughs*

So this was, by statement, supposed to be the last book. Then. She did not want to write them anymore, indeed.

Which, you might imagine, was devastating, with that ending.

Armand gone up in flames, others, too. Lestat mad, jaded and slinking into obscurity.

I didn't touch the books for the longest time.

I'm not sure I can answer your question wrt to Armand and his religious frenzy. It's... been a while (maybe others want to add on with their experiences here?!) - I just remember that reading it all... was devastating.

Louis, crying and begging at the locked doors. The absolute despair in it all, in the grief of losing Armand.

Lestat saying: "Adieu, mon amour." the last thing in the book.

The whole book screams for some answers. Answers that are still denied in the end. Was it the Devil? Was it God? Was it purgatory? Did Armand sacrifice himself there for anything that is true? Or was it just a futile gesture, which brought only pain, no relief... I can understand the utter shock to the system actual proof had to produce in Armand - him, a child of the Children of Satan, being confronted with the actual proof within this universe.

It must have been devastating as well, emotionally, and for his soul.

So much of what he believed he had left behind and overcome... crushing him now.

Now, TVA followed. Merrick. Blood and Gold. Pandora. Blackwood Farm. Blood Canticle. I picked them up at some point, somewhat disbelievingly.

I did not really enjoy them the first time, after Memnoch the wound was still open, the yearning to get back to Lestat for some kind of resolution for him and Louis quite strong. The blow had been intense, and Merrick promised... and then the other books did not deliver. And Blood Canticle felt absolutely OOC, though I find it has its place now in his arc. Now.

Because back then I could not have dreamed that Anne would finish the arcs. Or some at least. Would pick up the threads for Louis, Lestat and even Claudia once more, reshape them. I had not dreamed that the last trilogy would give them resolution.

Would close so many wounds.

I'm older now. I understand a lot more about trauma, and pain, and loss, and how these things shape us.

I read these books now quite differently. Their voices sound differently in my mind. I know why Anne had to let Louis go, and why she struggled so hard. I can feel the pain of loss and the wish to find a higher purpose in the tale.

So yeah^^. Reading it back then without the other books... was indeed something^^. But I do enjoy rereading it now too. :)

[widowbitessting]

Hi! first of all I love your writing! And I was wondering if you have done any drabbles on how the trio reacts to baby feeling down or having a bad day, I have tried looking but i’m very bad at that so I’m just gonna leave this here and hope you can let me know. And if you haven’t I was then wondering if I could submit a request for you to write something along the side of that? when you’re feeling more up to writing it of course!

(PS I haven’t been on here for a bit but I like to come on when i’m feeling down and life is kicking my ass like it is right now but I want you to know I love rereading SM and all the drabbles surrounding it, thank you for bringing us that comfort with your amazing writing even when people are being dicks for no reason❤️)

Hello my beautiful nonnie. Now I won't lie, this ask has caught my eye for so long that I've actually been bickering with myself, over what drabbles fit and what don't😂 So I'll go ahead and tag ones that are similar in a way and then add something under the cut to make sure you're 100% satisfied with my response, I hope that is okay!

So! The drabbles I'm tagging are *insert drum role here*

Who is the softest/kindest dom out of the trio? - a fluffy drabble that I hope makes you feel all fluffy and stuff

Aftercare! - A drabble showing how much the Trio! listen and care for you, especially with safe words.

Unknown/Known Scars - TRIGGER WARNING, please read the trigger warning my love before reading this one.

Coffee Shop & Baby Doesn't Get Enough Sleep - I tagged two in this ask, where Baby is overworked at school and the Trio! are always there to take care of her.

Some Cute Things - Just cute fluff 'cos we love cute fluff around here

And finally, my favourite one on this list - The Sick Fic - it's self explanatory but Baby gets poorly and our Trio! look after her!

Now I'm aware all of these come under the stressed title and not worrying title, which is why I'm gonna add to that under the cut. I hope I can do you justice with it, and I really hope you enjoy this reply.

Much love

Livvy

xoxo

Also trigger warning for this one. Just in case.

When life seems to be kicking your ass, when your brain turns on you and becomes incredibly mean, you push everyone away.

It's a coping mechanism learnt from childhood, one that you need to break, but you can't.

MJ knows it too.

Can see it when you come home and the light in your eyes just isn't there anymore.

It's like you become a shell.

You're there physically, but mentally your thoughts are spiralling.

And MJ, your fabulous best friend, knows that she doesn't have the skills to help.

No matter what she does, you just push her away and burrow until the bad days ease and pass like a wave.

So she calls backup.

Wanda, Natasha and Carol come as quick as they can.

Already on their way to you as you've even tried to push them away.

Even going as far to exit the different dm's you're in with them as the constant message vibrations/notifications grate on you to the point where your brain whispers: they don't need you anymore

MJ leaves when the Trio arrive.

Knowing to give you all space, but makes them promise to message when you're back so she can come home and give you a cuddle, as well as a slap.

When they try your bedroom door, it's locked.

It's the first battle.

Actually getting you to unlock it.

To let them in.

It takes time.

A long time.

For them to break through that first wall.

To convince you that they're here and not going anywhere anytime soon.

In fact, it takes almost an hour.

You sit on the other side of the door, back against it with your head burrowed in your arms.

Fingers clenched so tightly in your hair.

Fighting against your brain to believe them.

When you finally let them in, they don't rush inside your room.

They stay where they are.

Waiting.

For you.

For you to let them in.

And at first, it looks like your brain is going to win and you're going to shut the door on them and everything is going to go back to square 1.

But -

You nod.

A tiny, little nod.

And it's all the Trio! need to embrace you.

For you to vanish amongst three warm bodies.

That tell you how much they love you.

How much they adore you.

How they just want to keep you safe and happy.

You're their girl.

And they're not going anywhere.

Ever.

They tell you this as you cry.

As you scream at them to stop lying.

As you smack them over and over until you collapse in a heap and sob.

It doesn't stop them.

They're still there.

Proving to you, to your overthinking brain that they are not going anywhere.

When you're finally ready to talk, they listen.

Wanda cries.

Natasha nods along.

Carol chews the inside of her cheek.

And once you're done, they thank you for being so open about this side of you; the side you've tried to hide.

And they promise to you that: They. Are. Not. Leaving.

Ever.

They will remind you this when your brain is mean every time.

When you shut them out, they'll wait.

When you vanish, they'll find you.

When you try to push them away with all that you have, they won't move.

They'll stay and prove to you that it is you that they want.

You're their perfect girl.

Their darling submissive.

But most of all: you are theirs.

And they will make sure you never forget it.

You are theirs.

And they are yours.

Forever.

[pseudowho]

hellooo Haitch, how are you ? Wanted to drop by and tell you that I enjoyed rereading some Nanami pieces from you now that you've been reblogging them with new headers Also wanted to ask you 2 things : 1. Tips for becoming a better writer ? As in how to improve flow, narration, description (without becoming overbearing), how to make characters more human and less unidimensional 2. Favourite books you've recently read and that you'd recommend ? i've been rereading old favourites like Lolita and the Catcher in the Rye and I desperately need something new :( Thanks a looot

Hiii! I'm having a hard week. It's my grandmother's funeral tomorrow, and I'm horribly afraid. I'm getting by, though. Thanks for asking 💕

TIPS FOR BECOMING A BETTER WRITER:

Read more, and read-- I cannot stress this enough-- challenging and variable material. Difficult books. Classics. Crappy chick-flicks. News articles. Thrillers, romances, murder mysteries, philosophy books, fantasy books. Research pieces. All of them add to the reference library in your mind than you can use to compare to. These all help with flow, narration, description, because they all give you styles of writing to imitate.

Onomatopoeia is your friend. Not just, in individual words (crash, plop, honk!) but in sentence structure. Someone who is angry but calm may sound staccato, crisp-- their words, their sentences, should snip accordingly. You're describing a slow-flowing river? Languid, lazy, loose and fluid rolling sounds bring it to mind.

Trust your reader. Show them, don't tell them. If your setting is a coffee shop, with bright yellow walls, sunflowers outside, and wonderful coffee that always wakes them up, at their favourite table by the window? Don't TELL them the coffee shop is that way. Show them through the way your character interacts with their environment. For example: "Kento's hands grazed those sunny petals, always reminding him, curiously, of a Van Gogh piece his grandmother displayed in his childhood. Stepping into the shop, blinded by the sunshine splashed on the walls and the earth-roast aroma, he spotted his regular table overlooking the street, still free; his barista seemed to have anticipated his arrival, sliding his drink to the front of the queue with a smile." See? The story is moved along AND the reader can picture the environment. Trust them to see the things you infer, without having to DIRECTLY SAY "the walls are yellow, there were sunflowers outside, and this was Kento's regular coffee shop". Capiche?

Some idiot once said to keep everything to the point. Whilst this is true, to some extent, your words choices should be luxurious, in that there is ALWAYS the perfect word for a mood, a smell, a taste, a touch, a feeling. Each word you choose being just so makes a story feel rich and flavoursome. The fact is, if you are struggling to describe something and you find yourself piling sentence after sentence of almost correct words...leave it. Come back when the correct word is there.

If you Selfship, SELFSHIP HARDER-- talk to these people in your head. Build scenarios with them. Savour their reactions and their responses, don't see them through rose-tinted lens either. Cross-reference them with people you know, people you HAVE KNOWN, find the perfect words to describe them to other people.

Empathise harder. Empathy is the core of understanding someone's character. Walk a mile in their shoes. It helps, trust me.

FAVOURITE STUFF I'VE READ LATELY:

I adore Natasha Pulley's "The Watchmaker of Filigree Street" and its sequel "The Lost Future of Pepperharrow". The Ben Aaronovitch "Rivers of London" series is also excellent. If you want a great atmospheric, beautifully perfect scene-setting ghost story, go for "The Haunting of Hill House" by Susan Hill. "Pachinko" (I can't recall the author and I'm away from my bookshelf) is another favourite of mine. "The Poppy War" is the first in a trilogy by R.F.Kuang, and although it was her debut novel and there are traces of immaturity there, she is blossoming and I genuinely threw the second book across the room at one point because the angst and plot-twists hit me so hard.

Phew.

I'm no professional writer, so these are just my thoughts.

Mr Haitch lectures in English Literature and Creative Writing, so the "trust your reader" is one that he offered.

Good luck, thanks for thinking I'm good enough to advise you on this.

-- Haitch xxx

[zephyra-in-the-house]

Helloo! I wanted to say that I loved second chances sm, when I found a random chapter last year I read the entire fic in a couple days bc I had to know what happened next, then reread it every now and then while waiting for the updates

I like how we can see both sides of the coin with shadowpeach, how they both care but are still struggling for different yet similar reasons, their struggle with what they went through, dealing with each other's personality traits and habits(their own too) that are still hard to let go of, the glimpses of the consequences of the punishments and their backstory in general

And maybe it's a me thing, but I feel like your Wukong acts like he's a bit aro spec, maybe demi aromantic, and I love that he does, especially while still explicitly loving(and like longing for?) Mac sm

I got that feeling after rereading one of the conversations shadowpeach had in the kitchen when Wukong said something about just wanting to be near Mac, and having him as his best friend was so great kinda like there couldn't possibly be anything better

I know it's probably to show how he grew up, or his personality, and that he's dense (specifically when it comes to reading Mac's feelings towards him) but I feel that just adds to the similarities with the aro experience bc there's a side of the aro community that is blind to more romantic stuff, and romantic-coded gestures or more intimate closeness is just closeness all the same

And your Wukong gives me the impression that he just wanted Mac to be close to him, didn't matter what kind of close, and that he holds the title of "best friend" as a really special thing. Be it BECAUSE of Mac, or maybe since before becoming friends with him, like not just anybody would be his best friend (Also it was maybe to show his trust issues, but still)

I think Wukong said somewhere that he just wanted Mac to be happy to be around him, as happy as SWK was to be around Mac. And I know his inability to put his feelings(love) into words more than referring to a strong or special friendship is probably to show that he's not good with Feelings™, but I like to think that maybe he is enamored in the way a queer platonic love would feel like, so calling it a strong or special friendship kinda does cut it to some degree I think

Also the way Mei (everyone really, but she's more expressive about it, and we see her more than other characters) sees Wukong as a hopeless case, but I think Wukong would see Mac loving him strongly in any way as the best thing ever, as long as it's strong love, he wouldn't mind, love is love, like he just wants to be as special to Mac as Mac is to him

Also I'd love to see them be together even if they don't have the same kind of love for each other, bc the love they have for each other would still be just as strong, and would let them have just as strong of a bond, (in the future, as things are going I have hope, I do hope they end up together in this universe, even if nothing of what I'm saying fits them by the end)

I mean no disrespect to your original idea, or if that's not what u intended, I tried looking through your blog and I haven't found any mention of something similar or headcanons about it

But yeah, idk if u mind ppl putting headcanons on your stories? Some ppl do mind, so idk I just wanted to say that regardless of that hc of mine, I think how you write them is so cool and interesting, and I find that about Wukong really cool even if it's not really where the story is heading and it's been really fun to reread

Also sorry for the weird english, it's not my first language ^^'

First things first:

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

I absolutely love in depth analysis like this it's so interesting to read and to hear what people think of my story. I 100% love writing this story specifically because it demonstrates how these two are completely different and yet eerily similar people who are just struggling to reconnect with other people despite them both having their flaws and traumatic experiences. It's really fun to write and explore and I absolutely love everything that you said here about it~

Duuude!! I fuckin looooveeee that headcanon! Holy shit that's so awesome! Honestly, I didn't even realize I was writing Wukong that way but now that it's been pointed out I can totally see it!

As someone who is kind of on the ace spectrum, I think I may have just subconsciously made it that way. Just like every other author I know, I have a habit of adding my own traumas/ideologies to my stories so I really shouldn't be too surprised LOL

But don't worry! I don't mind people making headcanons about my story~ In fact, that's my favorite part of writing is seeing how people interpret the story and seeing how they formulate it into drawings or headcanons like this! It's so cool!

Initially, my intention was to write Wukong as being oblivious/in denial about his own feelings and in general just bad with feelings. However, I really love your idea too! It's definitely one of those things where Wukong is just happy to be around Macaque. Macaque is "his person", the one he feels happy and comfortable around, the one he feels he can be open and honest around... and yeah I just realized how much that sounds like the beginnings of a queer platonic relationship LMAO

In any case!

I absolutely love your analysis and I 100% agree that Wukong would be okay with Macaque loving him in any way, shape, or form so long as Macaque feels as safe and comfortable and happy as Wukong himself feels when they're together. ❤❤

Thank you for reading!

[bookshelf-dust]

did you post literally today? yes. am I about to request again? of course. it's like a drug (I read the last fanfic 3 times today, yes it was that good)

so, other way around now! what about reader being jealous of Gareth? the setting can still be the Hideout and someone is getting too touchy with him, reader knows Gareth wouldn't cheat but their insecurities get the best of them. (I think Gareth would be cocky about it after the situation had settled, him being sooo tease-y and flattered). if it's too specific you can change it a bit of course.

(I'm just gonna add that I reread your fics for comfort when I'm sad<33)

babe magnet

gareth emerson x gn!reader

word count: 886

warnings: swearing, mentions of inebriation, reader gets insecure about looks/worth, gareth being a flirty shit, fluff

a/n: hi my sweet!!! thank you for requesting. also—i’m not letting this go—you read my stuff repeatedly? 🥺 please stop i’m going to cry!! you have no idea how much it means hearing that you enjoy my writings that much and that they bring you comfort when you’re upset. i love you so so much. also it’s kinda short but i hope it’s what you wanted and that this is okay!! <333 (also his face at the end of this gif?? gareth the grump?? yeah, i think so.)

————

“You’re so handsome, you know that?”

Gareth doesn’t even know this girl’s name. She’s a groupie, obviously, but he can’t even fathom that they have groupies, so he’s not entirely sure what to do about this.

She’s hammered, clearly, and tried to feel up Jeff before he made a break for it.

Gareth focuses on packing his things up, because she’s sat down now, so he doesn’t have to worry about her groping or anything.

“Uh, thank you?”

He just wants to go home. His shoulders hurt, and his ass is sore. He just wants to see you.

But he doesn’t want to be mean.

“I bet it gets hot up there, under those lights. Playing the drums and stuff,” the girl says, rising from the sticky leather of the couch.

Shit, he thinks.

“Yeah, it does. Listen, do you have a ride home?”

He turns around, but quickly realizes that’s a mistake, because she starts rubbing up and down his arms, across his shoulders, and locks her hands behind his neck.

Yeah, he doesn’t like this.

This, however, is the moment you make it to the back room, and to you, it looks like Gareth is spending his evening with some other woman. Someone that’s not you.

Gareth doesn’t even know you’re there. He’s focused on getting this girl somewhere safe and getting her off of him.

He gently grabs her arms and pulls them off of him, but she moves and starts rubbing his chest, so this time he grabs her hands, and a little more firmly.

“Okay, let’s get you home, yeah?”

He turns then, and sees you in the doorway. You’re frowning, but you wipe it away when he makes eye contact with you.

You can see the relief he feels at your appearance.

“Hey, holy shit. I’ll just be a second.” He lowers his voice as he gets closer to you, “she’s drunk and I’m trying to find her ride, I’ll be right back.”

And then he’s gone, off with that woman.

You take the liberty of picking up the rest of his things, zipping up his bag and throwing it over your shoulder.

You know he wouldn’t do anything. Gareth loves you. He’s made it blatantly clear that you’re it for him. That he intends on spending the rest of his life with you. That no one else can put up with his bullshit the way that you do.

But something about seeing that woman made all of those old thoughts wake up and run wild.

She was gorgeous. This beautiful young woman with curves in all the right places. She looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine.

And you don’t look like that. So maybe, just maybe, Gareth has found someone else. Someone that looks like her. Someone better for him.

Stop. Stop, you think. You try and shut it down.

Gareth loves you. And you love him.

You’re holding the car keys when he gets back.

“Okay, I figured everything out. That girl was totally out of it,” he says, taking his bag from you, though you keep the keys, because you like to drive him after he plays—you know he’s tired.

The entire ride home, you don’t say a word, and Gareth knows something is up, so he corners you once you get inside.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He’s giving you his best puppy dog eyes, and so you do.

“I saw you with that girl, from before. She was all over you.”

You cross your arms, and he smiles. He smiles and pokes your side. “You’re jealous!”

“No, I’m—”

Gareth cuts you off with a laugh. A cackling, bend over at the waist laugh. But then he straightens.

“I’m sorry.” He kisses your cheek. “You know there’s nothing to be jealous about, right? I love you. And she was a groupie, which—wild I know—but she was drunk and feeling me up, and that was after she was all over Jeff, anyways,” he breathes, stopping his ramble.

“It was icky. And I hate that you saw it another way. But whatever it is that you’re thinking, I don’t want anyone else, okay?”

You sniff. “Okay.”

He kisses you, short and sweet.

But he pokes you in the side again. “You were jealous.”

“Stop.”

“I’m flattered, really. Apparently, I’m just a total babe magnet now. I guess it comes with all the fame. But I mean, look at me, I’m a stud.”

You try to move away from him. This has gone straight to his head.

He grabs your waist, however, picking you up and tossing you on the couch. “You don’t think I’m a stud?” He feigns offense.

“Nope.”

Gareth starts tickling you like crazy, up your sides, on your neck, your stomach, until you’re laughing so hard you can’t breathe and you’re pleading with him so he’ll stop.

“Fine! Fine! You’re a stud! A total babe magnet!”

He lets up, smiling brilliantly at you. “I knew you thought so. Good thing the magnet works too, or else I wouldn’t have you. The babe to my magnet.”

You push at his chest, but he only works harder to try and hug you. “Okay, no, that was horrible. That’s the last straw. Get off me!”

He doesn’t, and you don’t want him to. Not really.

————

[not-poignant]

hi pia how are you? im not a native english speaker and wanted to ask you, when you wrote that caleb is negging faber its not like flirting but manipulation? 😅 i tried looking up the definition. im rereading utr (my fav spin-off i am eagerly waiting for) and would an example of negging be when caleb comments on faber looking like an omega? i thought it was more him talking out loud tbh. or is it when he says about fabers sex toy, one that he didnt give up on? 😂 i really like him haha

Hi anon!

Yes! Your example is spot on - re: commenting on Faber looking like an omega. I'll give you (and others) some more examples, because I think it's definitely worth talking about in general!

I really like Caleb, but he doesn't always speak to Faber very encouragingly in Underline the Red, and some examples are here. He often gives back-handed compliments - things that make Faber feel 'lesser' while making it seem like a compliment at the same time.

It would be like if a guy said something like 'wow that's such a weird laugh, it's so brave of you to laugh like that in public.' It's not really a compliment.

While Caleb doesn't go that far, exactly, he definitely says some things that put Faber in an insecure headspace and keep him there:

‘You taste great,’ Caleb said. ‘But fine, shower then. You’re a prissy little thing, aren’t you?’ Faber had heard far worse his whole life. ‘Yes, I am.’

This happens early on, and Faber takes it as an insult that 'slides off him' (i.e. had heard far worse means he doesn't think it's great, but it's also not going to turn him off). Prissy is not a good thing to be called in general! It's a term for someone who is uptight, and annoyingly fussy - and usually effeminate in nature).

‘It’s pretty. That blond red, I like it. Pretty like all of you. It’s so easy to imagine you’re an omega.’ Faber didn’t tense, but the words slid through him uneasily. Was that what Caleb was doing? He couldn’t find an omega, so he settled for a slighter, leaner beta?

This - Caleb has no reason to bring up omegas as often as he does, and Faber already knows that alphas prefer omegas (and Caleb makes it clear that he prefers omegas). So he's already making it seem like in order to get through sleeping with Faber, he's going to pretend he is one -> This makes it sound like he's not really wanting to accept Faber for who he is.

He could say anything: 'I'm so excited to sleep with a beta' or 'it's my first time, you'll have to help me' or 'You're so pretty' but he adds on a little sting right at the end - it's so easy to imagine you're something you're not.

This kind of 'negging' implies that Faber isn't good enough as he is, while also praising him for being close to it.

And from Faber's reaction, we see he doesn't like it, and it makes him very insecure.

‘Your ass gives a whole new meaning to the word tight,’ Caleb said, sounding a little impatient. ‘It really is much easier with omegas.’ It was a criticism that Faber wasn’t prepared to handle...

Complaining/being impatient on this, and comparing Faber to omegas in an unfavourable way, while also using the compliment of 'tight' is another example of a back-handed compliment. It's not being 'tight' that Faber notices here, it's being told that sex for Caleb is easier with omegas.

There's a couple of other examples - Caleb complaining that it's going to take 'so long' to work open Faber (in comparison to omegas) etc. so the constant 'I'm comparing you to omegas and you're not always measuring up' is happening in the background.

Now don't get me wrong, Caleb also just straight up praises him! He calls him perfect, he actually says a lot of very complimentary stuff. But it's a lot harder to take those comments at face value, when some of his comments have been quite back-handed, or been the kind of compliments that aren't really just straightforward compliments.

This is combined with the fact that Faber wants to be an omega, and feels very insecure about not being one, so all those veiled kind of 'this is harder for me because you're not an omega' compliments hit Faber really hard. He's just pretty good at masking it!

I also think Caleb does some of this on purpose. I think while he's very nurturing with omegas, Faber's not an omega as far as he's concerned, he doesn't have to be as nice and attentive as he normally would for a one night stand.

Caleb and Faber have great chemistry, but they also have some stuff to work out between them. Caleb starts from a position of valuing Faber less because he's a beta, and Faber starts from a position of not valuing himself much, and so taking all of that very much to heart.

We'll see more of how this plays out in future chapters! But for all that their chemistry in the bedroom is really magical (like they are definitely a hot couple!), their relationship as it starts to unfold definitely has some areas that need communication.

They're one of my favourite pairings and the reason I've actually stopped posting chapters is so that when their story is ready (because it properly picks up after Underline the Black), I won't have to put it in hiatus during a really angsty part!! And I can write it more steadily :D

[lietpolski]

do you have robul fic recs! :0

i do!! :D this will get long, so it's going under a cut

literally everything by phyripo on ao3 is great, but i'll summarize them:

destiny's chance by phyripo - this is a must-read! very cute very lovey human au long oneshot :) and LONG! i've reread it So Many Times

on christmas by phyripo - this is... THE cutest thing ever!!!!! not robul centric, it has a few different pairs with an equal amount of screentime, but robul are so fun here! best read around december for obvious reasons,, u can mark it for later <3 it genuinely warms my heart so much

a thought away by phyripo - also not just focused on robul, BUT this is one of the sweetest cutiest robuls like i shed a tear or two!! just a fantastic story in general like,, i don't care for half the cast of this but this fic made me care about them it was that good!! drama mystery AND feels... read it

falling high by phyripo - fun short and silly actors/social media au!!

one day by phyripo - also short and very very sweet human au, this one has holiday vibes but it's more about new years' resolutions and stuff i think u could read it any time of the year :)

take one breath by phyripo - ok this is sooort of cheating because it's focused around luxembourg/moldova (aged up) BUT robul are there and they're cute they're having their wedding like!!!🥺it's worth a read

and then some equally great ones by other authors!!

you know my name by quiettoxic - ALSO A MUST READ this is i think my favourite robul oneshot ever and i'm not huge on human aus!! it's basically them growing up together and falling in love over time and ouggghhh my HEART

castles in the air by shadowcatxx - bulgaria is horny for vampires & i'm also horny for vampires so this was meant to be <3 it's written in the 1st person but don't let that scare u it's a good time it has like,, vaguely classic lit vibes and it's nice to read smth so different once in a while! + vampires are hot

be ready and be brave by doomspiral - doom writes historical nationverse that makes me want to tear my heart out of my chest and chew it !!!! historical robul is a rare and delicious treat so u have to read this

transcendence by roesslyng - this one makes me go insane like,, the homoeroticism of consensual murder needs to be a bigger genre in nationverse!!!!

see you soon by roesslyng - short cute fic exploring some nationverse meta which is something i always love to see :)

self-indulgence by roesslyng - just smut but i'm a pwp girlie and proud!! this is sweet and it's nationverse what else could u want

as a treat by roesslyng - cute soft fluff ... save me cute soft robul fluff.... i love little silly romantic snippets of their lives this one got me kicking my feet & listening to laufey <3

i'll add more if i think of them but that's all for now! :) happy reading!

[misc-obeyme]

CC, I desperately need to know. When commenting on or reblogging your fics, are suoer simple feedback comments still really nice to get? Like "This was beautiful" or something?

I'm struggling with feeling guilty because I am having a hard time getting energy to give longer comments and stuff. I usually write a few things about the story or related to the story but right now even just writing "I really like this!" has been taking a lot of energy.

Also, do you have an Solomon🤍 anon? If not...

~ Solomon🤍

Hey there anon! I don't have a Solomon🤍 anon, so I will be sure to add that to the anon list!

Now, as it happens, I have thoughts about this specific thing. I can't speak for all writers/artists, but I think my sentiments are somewhat universal since we're all creating and sharing on the same platform. I've also been on Tumblr since the very beginning, so that might have an impact on my personal perspective.

To begin, let me give you the short and easy answer: It is always nice to get any kind of feedback, even short and sweet comments like the ones you've given as examples. Please don't feel guilty about not leaving massively long, in depth commentary on things. Most people understand that not everybody has the spoons for that kind of thing all the time. It's honestly just nice to know that someone liked it at all.

That being said, I feel the need to give you a little bit more nuance about this particular issue, as someone who gets a lot of notifs nowadays.

Quite honestly, the fact that you reblogged it at all is really nice, even if all you do is tag it as "obey me" or something along those lines.

I get hundreds of notifications every day. And most of those are likes. I would say perhaps like 90%? It's a lot. And when one post is getting a lot of attention, my notifs just group them together. So it'll be like "username, username, and 12 other people" and then it'll indicate the post and that it was liked by all those people.

That means that if you reblog it, even without tags, it pops up as a separate notification. And to me, that's always nice to see. I'm always like OH! That person liked it enough to reblog! Thank you, friend!

I'm not kidding, that's my internal monologue lol.

I know there's a lot of discourse about reblogging vs liking, but I'm not really talking about any of that (I'm willing to share my thoughts if people ask though). I'm just telling you what it's like from my perspective.

Things that always catch my attention are reblogs with or without tags, a direct comment on a post, and asks.

Specifically about reblogs, there are different things that are more noticeable.

Like, yes, I'm going to notice if someone leaves a lot of tags gushing about how much they liked the story. I have screenshotted tags and comments that have made me happy just so I can go back and read them.

I often reread the reblogged tags on posts. It's writer-fuel.

And when I'm looking at the reblogs of a post all at once, I'm scrolling through and seeing one that's really in depth and one that's just "AAAAHHH" and i love them both equally.

Is it always going to be more meaningful and impactful if someone reblogs with a dissertation in the tags or even a whole analysis added to the post? Of course. But that is a rare occurrence and not something I ever expect to see. Nor would I personally want someone to force themselves to give more feedback than they can manage.

I just like to know that reading it meant something to you. Likes tell me you liked it, tagless reblogs let me know that you liked it enough to share it, but they don't really tell me much beyond that. A reblog that says "I really loved this!" lets me know that this piece of writing touched you enough for you to actually write a little response to me. You might even say something like, "I love *character*" or perhaps "that last line oof" or even just "a;lksdfkljasdfklj" - all of that conveys so much more to me than a like or tagless reblog. It doesn't have to be a lot. And when like five people do this on one post, it really adds up, too, you know? So I'm like Oh, the people like this one!! LOL!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, the more interaction you can give is always appreciated, but nobody wants you to force yourself to have elaborate comments. Just a reblog is also appreciated.

That being said, if you want to get elaborate in the tags PLEASE DO. You don't need to push yourself, but you don't need to hold back, either!

I appreciate every bit of interaction I receive, of course. And I'm thankful for everyone that has followed me and enjoyed my writing!

I hope that answered the question, I'm sorry for rambling a bit lol. I just figured I could take the opportunity to talk a little bit about what it's like from my side of things! Thank you for asking, honestly, I appreciate that you're worried about making fic writers feel the love on their works! But you don't need to feel guilty, you're already doing more than most by reblogging and leaving any tags at all. 💕💕

[chrimsonfoxdon]

Ooh question, you mentioned rewatching as an adult, and I'm curious, what kinds of things do you view differently now? I'm rereading the manga after a long time too, and the big thing I'm noticing is that I have more compassion now, especially towards characters who I didn't realize reminded me of myself and not in the best ways 😂 And especially during part 1 I found myself wondering why we don't see their parents more often (for those who still have them) and who took care of them growing up (for the others).

I have felt similar!! Ok I’m gonna maybe list stuff out on what I’ve noticed I view differently.

Very long post under the cut of me rambling (again)!

1. My Opinion on What I Consider Good Media Has Changed

Starting with this one as I feel it’s a big overarching thing that’ll dictate all my other opinions and thoughts. I’ve watched, read, and listened to A LOT of other series and media since I first started watching Naruto (also you know life experience and such), so I have a better idea of what is “good” media and what is “bad.” When I was younger, I considered Naruto to be the best of the best, but I don’t think that now (as far as anime that title now goes to FMA:B it’s very good please watch it if you haven’t oh my god). It has a lot of flaws, some endearing and others… not so much. Granted that’s any piece of media. Nothing is perfect (not even FMA:B). But despite that, I’ve also learned that it’s ok to still enjoy it!! Imo it’s not all bad, I mean, we’re still here discussing it yea?

I guess the TLDR of this part is: it’s cringe but that’s ok cuz life is short and we should enjoy the stuff we like.

2. Female Characters/Feminism

I feel like, while these are different topics, they’re very linked together in how I watch Naruto now so I’m putting them together. When I was younger, I didn’t like really any of the female cast (except Tenten). I found them “annoying,” to put it simply. Sakura always chasing after Sasuke?? Lame. Ino being obsessed with her looks?? Shallow. Hinata losing to Neji? Weak. I began to think that I didn’t like those characters because I didn’t like female characters mostly as a whole (which is kinda hilarious cuz I did start making Chihiro back then who does in fact identify as a woman LOL!!). But this negative attitude towards female characters not only leaked into how I consumed other media, but how I saw myself and other women irl. Like I distinctly remember believing that a woman could never beat a guy in anything. Which is uh… not true!! And kinda fucked up!!!

Now that I’m older I just realize that kishimoto doesn’t know how to write women all that well. Imo, it’s not the girls’ faults, it’s their creator. Which is disappointing but also freeing almost?? Plus, I can now appreciate what good they do have to offer!! (I talked a little about the konoha 12 girls and what I like about them in this ask in case you’d like details on individual characters)

I think also being exposed to other fans with differing opinions and views has helped me with this as well. When I first started watching I didn’t really go online (wasn’t a thing in Cuba plus I wasn’t really interested), so I didn’t really have other perspectives to bounce off of.

Also wanted to add that there are definitely parts of the show I laughed off before but you know, just are not acceptable nowadays. Mainly thinking of Shikamaru talking down on girls/women, Neji made a rude comment about girls too (that Tenten corrected him on tho thank you queen), and some bits that could be perceived as a little transphobic (I’m not trans tho so I don’t wanna speak for them on that bit). Its viewpoints that I feel are a product of the time, but does not make the overall series bad per se.

3. Seeing Other Children as a Child VS as an Adult

Ngl since I grew up with Naruto, I feel as if I will always see them as my peers in a sense. If anything, almost like the “older kids” in school. Like I don’t know if this is a common perception, but I remember when I was like in 2nd grade I saw 6th graders as like tiny adults, but then when I was in 6th grade I saw 2nd graders as like babies. Does that make sense?? Anyway, it’s interesting rewatching Naruto as an adult and seeing my “peers” when they were younger. I remember thinking that 12 & 13 year olds were badass and cool and practically ready for the real world (I was like 8 or 9 when I first started watching leave me alone), and being amazed at stuff like the chunin exams. Nowadays my brain just kinda goes “why are we letting these CHILDREN go to war???” It’s a similar story with like the sensei. Thinking they’re so experienced and old and… now I’m the same age as them and I’m still young!!

4. Might Gai is Cringe and I Love Him For That

The way I didn’t appreciate this man when I was a kid is a CRIME. Teaching his students (and friends) that it’s important to find joy in life is SO IMPORTANT and Gai just does an EXCELLENT job with that!! He strives to be a source of light for the people in his life, and to show others it’s important to smile and laugh from time to time. It warms my cold dead grownup heart what can I say. There’s a line in OG Naruto after Lee beats Sasuke in their fight before the chunin exams, where Naruto turns to Sasuke and Sakura as their cringing at Lee and Gai and says, “actually, it’s kinda sweet how they’re all hugging and stuff!” And that kinda summarizes my thoughts on them.

TLDR Might Gai is cringe but he is free and I love him so much for that.

5. Seeing Myself in Characters I Didn’t Before

Off the top of my head, the three characters I see myself in more so now than when I was younger is definitely Choji, Lee, and Tenten.

I was never popular growing up, especially when I moved back to the US after living in Cuba. Kids just didn’t wanna play with me or have me on their sports teams, so I was purposefully left out oftentimes, kinda like how choji was when he was younger. Rewatching that part made me cry honestly HAHA I saw myself so clearly. I’m also plus size so the beauty standards he has to deal with really speak to me. I remember Shikamaru telling him one time that girls don’t have to be skinny to be pretty and I would be lying if that didn’t give me a huge amount of confidence in myself.

Rock Lee’s story has always been top notch, but as someone who chose to specialize in a path that I didn’t really have natural talent for myself it REALLY speaks to me now. I’ll be 100% honest, I was never really one of those “been drawing since I could hold a pencil” kind of kids. I liked it, but I didn’t really consider myself any good until like 8th grade or so. Anyway, there’s this scene where Lee is crying at the training grounds cuz he’s scared that, no matter how hard he works, it’ll all be for nothing and that he’ll always be a loser, and uh… had to turn the show off cuz that struck WAAAAAAAY too close to home for me as an artist with a… let’s be real, a failing art business. Anyway, he inspires me though to keep going cuz this is what brings me joy. I may take longer than most, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for it.

Tenten I’ve honestly seen a lot of myself in even when I was younger! But there’s this filler episode that goes into detail on how she tried really hard to be just like Tsunade, since that was her dream since she was little. Turns out she doesn’t have the capacity to do that (not being able to do medical ninjutsu well, etc), but she finds her own strengths along the way. What really spoke to me was letting go of your childhood dreams. It’s hard. It feels like you’re failing in a way. But Tenten was able to persevere and find a new and even better path forward for herself. And that’s just amazing. I love seeing that, and it helps me feel as if I too and maybe find my path.

6. Final Thoughts and Random Little Things

I think it’s also safe to say that I can pick up on story flaws (I’m looking at you 4th great ninja war arc) and inconsistencies (how the heck does the hyuga clan work wtf). It’s a long series and nowadays you can binge the whole thing in one sitting (I don’t recommend that please take care of yourself). Back in my day I had to wait a whole week to watch the next 26 minute episode with commercials in between. Also I was a kid. AHAHA!! But again, long series, so I’m sure Kishi forgot about certain details while he was being pushed to continue the series.

Also my views on certain things that happened in the series changed based on what I know what happens later, which I find to be quite fun!

Overall I still enjoy the series, both for similar reasons as I did back in the day (Neji) and for new reasons!! Flaws and all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[slasher-male-wife]

You wrote this for me?: Bo Sinclair x gn author reader

I've recently said I write poetry and while I might not be good, it means a lot to me. I recently posted a poem on my poetry blog @living-dead-author about comfort characters and I thought it was fitting for this idea I've had. I might do this kind of format with other characters later on too.

Warnings: Kinda invasion of privacy (Bo reads Y/n's poetry journal without their knowledge), hurt/comfort?, fluff, Bo is bad with emotions

He knows you write. He's read some of your other works when you wanted him to see them and he was the one who brought you the journal after he saw you writing on any piece of paper you could get your hands on. He never looked in it without your permission of course, he understands wanting to keep things private.

But today when you left that journal open while you went to go grab something Bo couldn't help but look into the journal. He raised a brow when he saw his name in the title of a poem. Looking back at the kitchen doorway he picks it up and reads it to himself.

A poem for Bo

I want to say sorry

Because I know that’s all I can do

I can’t take away what happened

And I know apologies don’t fix much

But I know how it feels to never get one

I’m saying sorry now

Because no one else will give you the apology that you deserve

He sits there on the couch for a moment. Running a hand over his mouth. Bo doesn't do well with his emotions. He doesn't want anyone to even know that he has them. But rereading those words over and over again gets him tearing up. The fact it's in his lover's hand writing and signature red pen ink only adds to this growing feeling of tears.

Before he let's any fall he wipes them away as you come back into the living room, holding a glass of water. You notice him holding the journal as he looks back up at you. Your mouth opens then closes. You repeat this a few times before setting down your glass of water and looking down at Bo, who quickly stands up.

"I um...I was going to show you that after I got all of it worked out. It's a first draft and I didn't think it was good enough to show you yet." A heat rises in your face and a knot forms in your stomach. These problems only grow as Bo walks around the coffee table over to you, setting down your book.

He want's to tease you about it. He want's to tease you so much about how you really do love him. How you care enough about him to actually write this for him. But all of those words die in his throat when he looks at you and your worried eyes. He smiles before pulling you into a hug. A little confused, you hug back.

"You like it don't you?" You ask. Bo sniffles and holds you closer.

"Well I do like it. I like it a lot. I'm not good with all that digging into writing and stuff but I do like it a lot." He replies.

"I want you to know that I mean every word I said in that ok?" He doesn't reply but he pushes you even deeper into him if that was even possible, "I love you so much Bo." You feel him kiss the top of your head.

"I love you too Y/n."

[licncourt]

Have you read TVA and Blood and Gold? I would LOVE your rundown on all the historical inaccuracies in BaG.

Unfortunately yes, I have read those with my eyes :/

(the Marius/Armand pederasty conversation I've been meaning to have for like a year below the cut btw)

I wish I hadn't read B&G so young, I didn't have the breadth of knowledge or the foresight to mark anything for later when I was sixteen. I'd reread it for this exact analysis but really I don't think I have it in me so memory and ctrl + f to confirm will have to suffice.

Honestly, the biggest problem I had with it wasn't inaccuracies so much as the fact that the whole book reads like a Wikipedia entry. It's so clumsy and dry, it feels like AR just wants us to know how many Roman Facts she learned. It overshadows the story rather than adds to it. Fr, read this (if you can stand it).

There was not one reason in the world that she needed to explain the Battle of the Milvian Bridge in that level of detail, and that's coming from me. This sounds like a bad undergrad paper from a student who wants to prove they did the reading.

The whole book feels like this except when it detours into creepy and pedophilic, and I just don't need my vampire book to explain the Council of Nicaea AND the Edict of Milan AND the Parthian Wars AND the Vatican wall frescoes AND the Medici bank and a million other things to me like I'm in a survey lecture. It's mind-numbing for me and this is literally what I DO, so I can only imagine how other people must feel with no context or particular interest in this stuff.

It's not that she's WRONG per say, it's more that she clearly has no understanding of these subjects outside the rote recitation of facts. It's just regurgitated bullet points about Roman history and the Italian Renaissance. She also repeats some well known apocryphal stories in there, but I'm going to be generous and hope she doesn't think these are facts (like the Chi-Rho epiphany).

If anything seems sus and I don't remember it though, feel free to send it to me and I can yay or nay the information to the best of my ability!

*cw here for discussion of CSA*

With that said, I do think AR had a very skewed understanding of the pederastic dynamic or was choosing to ignore it, which is unfortunate considering how attached she was to the idea. A lot of my thesis research coincided with Greco-Roman pederastic tradition, so it's a pet peeve of mine when it's misapplied. It's not an uncommon problem (Call Me By Your Name has this going on too), but authors sending gay relationships with a rapey age gap through a "pederasty" funnel always pisses me off.

The history of pederasty is very long and complicated and ancient (we're talking Homer and Iliad kind of old here), but the bare bones explanation of the process and logic is this:

The ancient Greeks were deeply invested in turning their upper class boys into good citizens. To accomplish this, sometimes an established adult man would woo a younger male (most often starting at 14-19 years old) with gifts and attention over an extended period of time. Once the courtship was complete and the boy's self control had been proven, there were sexual relations between the two for a period of time.

The purpose of this relationship was ultimately to educate the boy, and the physical pleasure was used as a teaching tool to establish rapport and intimacy that could then be escalated to instruction on matters of philosophy and intellect in general. Essentially using the mastery and maturation of one's body as a stepping stone to the mastery and maturation of the mind. Once the boy was appropriately prepared to enter elite male society and/or had become physically developed as a man, the relationship ended.

It's pretty obvious that she's trying to do a whole pederastic erastes/eromenos thing with Marius and Armand, but she took an already very bad and gross practice from history and muddled it up with her own awful ideas about consent from minors and sexual fantasies of a kinky student/teacher savior relationship in her vampire books.

I hate the erotic and romanticized version of pederasty that's become weirdly popular in gay media, and AR was one of the first to really do this. It just picks up the historical thread of CSA under the guise of a kid's "consent" and continues to normalize it to modern readers with a new sexy twist. Using a bastardized version of a fucked up ancient practice to implicitly justify or downplay the severity of statutory rape is simply not the move, especially when gay and bisexual men already face stigma around being predatory and pedophilic. Just don't.

[boltlightning]

Stupid question maybe but how do you find time and energy and excitement to read books?

Don't get me wrong, I like reading as a form of media. And I have a couple of fanfics I'm keeping up with, and even ones I reread. I think it's important for my vocabulary and on seeing the world. Surprisingly, a fanfic I read helped me a lot in understanding and processing complex trauma.

But at the same time, books intimidate me. I bought a book I know I want to read but actually reading it just scares me. Maybe this is the TikTok attention span (although I always just read with music and in bed). Or the fact I know the book is an emotional piece, either way I can't get myself to start.

Or perhaps it's the fact my brain feels overfull with so much that there's no place for new media unless it's in an universe I'm already familiar with, or forced down my throat by proxy/society.

Are you just inherently excited to read about stuff, or do you also have like a moment where you fight yourself to get started to read?

Also please feel free to ramble about more books you think people should read!

this is an EXCELLENT question, and one i don't know that i'm the best person to answer! i'm pretty flighty about reading and have only gotten back into it within the last two years or so, and largely during lockdown. i have a miserable, internet-y attention span as well, and with so much competing for our attention these days, it can be REALLY hard sitting down somewhere quiet with a book and tuning everything out. i definitely relate.

firstly, i think that fic is a great way to get back into reading! they build up your attention span, depending on the fic, and let you understand what kind of stories you like to read for free, even if it's involving characters you already know. reading work by your peers is always, always valuable.

specifically for the book you own that you know you want to read: make a date with the book! like, literally, set a date and time you know you're free, put an alarm in your phone. put the book somewhere you can see it every day. mentally prepare yourself for it as the hour approaches. do this until you find yourself wanting to pick it up on your own, or until you finish the book. making it a chore seems counterintuitive but sometimes it's the only way to get started.

more tips for getting back into reading in general are below the cut. in general i've sorta...bullied myself into remembering i enjoy this activity. that's also come with the realization that being kind to myself and knowing my preferences are key to building the habit up.

my more learned mutuals, if you have anything to add or books to recommend, please do!!

it's ok to only read what you want to read. it's ok to not finish books. you don't NEED to read big-brain nonfiction or archaic classics if you're not interested in them. and if you don't like something, put it down. you don't have to stay in the world if you don't like it!

use the one-third rule: this works for all other media too. if you start to read something and don't immediately jive with it, read until you're 1/3rd of the way through. if nothing's happened to grab you, that usually means that the book isn't for you and you can move on. you gave it a fair shake! you can let go! this often helps me realize i'm in the headspace for a different kind of story, and that's ok!

make it an accomplishment. i have an awful and ugly spreadsheet where i write down what books i've read this year, when i finished them, and what i thought. my favorite part of finishing a book is writing a short stupid review in this spreadsheet. it's only for me, and yet it feels good to check names off a list.

read books with peers. a huge part of why i read jane austen's novels was because i wanted to understand what everyone on tumblr was talking about, and it's been very fun!! as much as i begrudge it, i think this is the appeal of booktok, honestly — it's fun to meme on stories with your friends. you don't necessarily need to join a book club, but it can be really encouraging to read a book your friend recommended and read it so you can talk to/joke with them about it.

find out how you like to read, and when/where you'll actually do it. for instance, i haaaate audio books and refuse to read on my phone. i'll save good/exciting books to read on the exercise bike to reward myself for biking, or make a fancy coffee to accompany a book i'm struggling to start. treat yourself. trick your brain into associating the physical act of reading with the happy brain chemicals.

reread stuff you liked when you were into reading. i own most of my favorite books just for this purpose. there is no shame in rereading! there is no age limit on any book!! if i feel like my writing is suffering i will usually revisit a childhood favorite just to kickstart my brain.

books i would recommend for getting back into reading (these are all fiction and mostly fantasy/sci-fi. sorry. just what i'm into)

the princess bride by william goldman

a wizard of earthsea by ursula k. le guin

howl's moving castle by diana wynne jones

inkheart by cornelia funke

forestborn by elayne audrey becker

fireborne by rosaria munda

treasure island by robert louis stevenson (language is old, but it's a classic for a reason)

spinning silver by naomi novik. i liked uprooted by her too but it's not as universally loved. damn i should reread these

everyone go read temeraire right now please. thanks

a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers

nettle & bone by t. kingfisher

the blue castle by l.m. montgomery

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

books i would recommend if you want something more toothsome

pride and prejudice by jane austen (again, language is old, but what a banger. persuasion is my favorite by her but a lot heavier)

another oldie: north and south by elizabeth gaskell (although it is often described as pride and prejudice but in the industrial era)

piranesi by susanna clarke

the lies of locke lamora by scott lynch (i would've put this in the previous category if i could. this is great fun, but SO dense)

feast of sorrow by crystal king

the left hand of darkness by ursula k. le guin

notes from the burning age by claire north

genuinely: shakespeare. if you liked a play when you were in school you should reread it as an adult, on your own terms, with a glossary pulled up. they take at most 2 hours to read. i prommy.

i hope...any of this is helpful. again, mutuals, please feel free to add recs or tips <3

[cerise-on-top]

I'm FINALLY starting to work on my masterlists, and this is so intimidating 😭😭

It feels like such a big commitment somehow

Also, I'm literally so greatful that you reblog the things I write 🙏🙏🙏 it's nearly impossible to find shit on my blog so I'm going through yours 🫡

Idk what I'm doing tbh, just wanted to say hiii 👋

(Unrelated, but do you have any ideas for like. A nickname for me/my blog? Bc it feels weird to just send an anon message without saying who I am, even if you already recognize me)

Hello to you too! It's nice to hear from you :D

I know how you feel! Although I gotta say, I knew fairly early on that I wanted to continue writing for CoD, which is why I made my Masterlists early on ^^ Besides, I've written for other fandoms before, so I knew that I needed those masterlists or else no one would ever find any of my older works ever again! But yeah, it's a big committment because it kind of feels like you have to write for that fandom now if you already have those lists! But in the end it's sometimes just nice to go through your stuff and look at everything you've written! In my case, I've got a neatly organized Google Doc thingy that I've been using since November, with headlines and all, and sometimes I do like to reread some of my older stuff! Especially the things I've written for fun! Am I overtalking again? Sorry if I am, it's sort of become a habit of mine ^^

And you're more than welcome! I love the things you write! Plus I do wanna show some appreciation to my mutuals! I like it when people reblog my stuff and add their tags, so I wanna do the same for my mutuals too! I'm glad I am able to help you a bit, though ^^

I'm gonna be honest with you, the only nickname I can think of would be "Spooky/Spookie"! I'm actually a real moron, so I often read your URL as Gaz Spookie Bear! But I'm really unhelpful in that regard, sorry! I actually got my name because I took my favorite fruit (cherry) and translated it into another language (French)! I just found Cerise to be a beautiful word, which is why I use it as my name just about everywhere online! Maybe you can do something similar to that ^^

And you're not stupid at all! Sometimes you just need some time to think of a better idea! :>

[leminhthinking]

"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.