#i feel like a fucking fanfic character istg

[autistic-katara]

when the person who entirely defines what love is to u thinks theyre unlovable and have no one<<<

[brotherhoodoftheblade]

You cannot tell me that DG (back before she lost her mind and dropped the ball at the homestretch) didn’t mean for us to read this scene:

“....It’s coming is a gift, which I accept with gratitude, but when it’s gone, there is no sense of abandonment or deprivation. I’m only glad to have had it for as long as it chose to remain.”

“And you’re saying your relationship with Manoke is the same. Does he feel that way about you, do you think?” I asked, fascinated. He glanced at me, cleared startled. 

“I have no idea.”

“You, um, don’t...talk in bed?” I said, striving for delicacy. 

His mouth twitched, and he looked away.

“No.”

We lay in silence for a few moments, examining the ceiling. 

“Have you ever?” I blurted.

“Have I what?”

“Had a lover that you talked to?”

He cut his eyes at me. 

“Yes. Perhaps not quite so frankly as I find myself talking to you, but, yes.” 

(An Echo in the Bone, Ch.95)

...and draw a straight line in our recollections to the times John lay abed with Percy in BotB, speaking of intimacies they shared with no one else. Because obviously, Percy was the only lover of his he really talked to about deeply personal matters in bed. (That we were shown anyway. He probably confided in Hector at least about some things, I hope.)

“Shall I tell you a great secret?” Percy’s voice was soft, breath warm in his ear. Grey reached a hand through the sheets, slid it over the high round of a still warmer buttock.

“Please,” he whispered.

“My name is not Percival.”

.....[Percy] laughed a little unsteadily, took a deep breath, and lay down on his back, drawing the sheet up over his chest.

“My name is Perseverance,” he said in a rush.

“Per -” Grey lay completely still, holding his breath and concentrating fiercely on his belly muscles. 

“Go ahead and laugh,” Percy said from the dark, with exceeding dryness. “I won’t mind.”

“Yes, you would,” Grey said, but was still unable to quell the bubble of mirth that rose up the back of his throat, and being there firmly suppressed, emerged through his nose in a strangled snort. To keep from committing further offense, he said the first thing that came into his mind.

“What’s your middle name?”

Percy laughed, sounding a little easier, now that the dreadful confession was made.

.....Just now, he was realizing exactly the magnitude of the the gift Percy had given him. 

He was the only one who knew. Percy had been right; it was a great secret, and John felt the weight of his lover’s trust, warm on his heart.

He groped for Percy’s hand and found it, slightly cold. They lay silent for a bit, holding hands, bodies warming to each other. 

..... “Shall I tell you a great secret?” Grey whispered, at long last. ...

“Please.” Percy’s hand tightened on his.

“My father was murdered.”

..... Somewhere in the telling, Percy had gathered him into his arms, and held him now, close against his body. His head lay in the hollow of Percy’s shoulder, and the curly hairs of Percy’s chest brushed soft against his lips as he spoke. ...

Percy’s hand smoothed the hair away from John’s face, gentle. 

“Your mother likely thought whoever’d killed your father had got you, too.”

“Yes, she did.” For the first time in the telling, a lump came into his throat, recalling his mother’s face when she’d seen him, filthy, trailing hay and mud across the Turkey carpet in her boudoir. “That’s - that’s the only time she cried.”

Percy’s arm tightened round his shoulders. He could hear Percy’s heart, a muffled steady thump beneath his heart.

“And you?” Percy said at last, very quietly. “Did you weep for your father?”

“I never did,” he said, and closed his eyes.

(BotB, Ch.18)

~*~

Percy did return to the matter a few days later, though. No doubt it was a matter of Percy’s own upbringing in a religious milieu, Grey reflected. Or perhaps it was only that Percy had never been with a man willing to discuss philosophy in bed. Grey hadn’t, himself, but found the novelty mildly diverting. 

They had left the barracks separately and met in Percy’s rooms for a few stolen hours. Where, after the initial delights of the flesh had been tasted, Grey found himself with his head pillowed on Percy’s stomach, being read to from a collection of legal opinions. published a year or two previous. 

.....

“So,” Grey remarked, “we must be exterminated, because our pleasures are insufficiently ecstatic?” 

Percy’s brow relaxed a bit, and he closed the book.

.....Still, he considered the matter, enjoying the peaceful rise and fall of Percy’s breathing beneath his cheek. 

“I think a gentleman conducts his affairs with kindness and with honor,” he said, at last. ...

Percy gave a short laugh.

“Kindness and honor? That’s all well - but what of love?”

Grey valued love - and feared it - too greatly to make idle protestations.

“You cannot compel love,” he said finally, “nor summon it at will. Still less,” he added ruefully, “can you dismiss it.” He sat up then, and looked at Percy, who was looking down, tracing patterns on the counterpane with a fingertip. “I think you are not in love with me, are you?”

Percy smiled a little, not looking up. Not disagreeing, either. “Cannot dismiss it,” he echoed. “Who was he? Or is he?”

“Is.” Grey felt a sudden jolt of the heart at the speaking of that single word. Something at once joyful and terrible; the admission was irrevocable.

Percy was looking up at him now, brown eyes bright with interest.

“It is - I mean, he - you need not worry. There is no possibility of anything between us.” Grey blurted, and bit his tongue to keep back the sudden impulse to tell everything, only for the momentary ecstasy of speaking of Jamie Fraser. He was wiser than that, though, and kept the words bottled tight in his throat. 

“Oh. He’s not...?” Percy’s gaze flicked momentarily over Grey’s nakedness, then returned to his face.

“No.”

It was late in the day; light skimmed across the room from the high attic windows, striking the dark burnished mass of Percy’s curling hair, painting the lines of his face in chiaroscuro, but leaving his body in the dimness of shadow.

“Is friendship and sincere liking not enough for you?” Grey was careful to avoid any tone of pettishness or accusation, making the question merely one of honest inquiry. Percy heard this, and smiled, lopsidedly, but with answering honesty.

“No.” He stretched out a hand and ran it up Grey’s bare arm, over the curve of his shoulder, and down the slope of his breast, where he spread his palm flat over the nipple - and took a sudden hold of the flesh there, fingers digging into the muscle.

“Add that, though...” he said softly, “and I think it will suffice.”

(BotB, Ch.19)

That their story will never have a happy resolution - after all that they were, and could’ve yet been, to each other - is just tragic. 🥺😭😭😭

[lowkeyrobin]

hi :) i was wondering if i could get somethin with the cricket crew folks (those who are a-okay with xreaders) and a reader who deals with type 1 diabetes, like the reader is having low blood sugar troubles while hanging out pretty please 🦕 (platonic or romantic doesnt, matter to me)

OF COURSEEE OMG sorry for taking so long to get this out, I did a lot of research into this so hopefully I got everything accurate! my dad has type 2 diabetes so sorry if anything got mixed up with that as well 😭 billzo and aimsey are the two that aren't cool with x reader fanfics so I didn't include them, although I'm pretty sure they're okay just being in the bg? lmk if I need to change anything! I genuinley appreciate it

HANDSOME BROS ; you have type one diabetes

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, tubbo, & freddie badlinu

warnings ; swearing, mentions of fainting, mentions of needles/dexcom

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

instantly shoving bills diet coke down your throat

he just panics at first and kinda asks you what to do

yk like in movies when all the characters are shouting over each other in panic? that's him

bill rushes over since his drink just got stolen

"dude, their dexcom needs changed"

"what the fuck is a dex-com!?"

Tommy's too scared to help you in the beginning, literally forces Bill to help you if you need it

even seeing the damn dexcom app on your phone scares him sometimes

like when you walk too far away and it starts doing that scary ass beeping thing, he jumps out of his skin

you left your phone with him while you went to use the bathroom in a public area and your phone started doing the thing because you were too far away and his face went from 😊 to 😨 in a millisecond

"What if they're dead in there???"

wilbur and tubbo are usually the ones reminding him that you're fine and it beeps when you're out of reach

after time, he gets used to it

although he never lets you forget your phone

he's still scared of the beeping

but he learns a lot on how to help you and shit from both you and bill

if he's got an embarrassing question, he'll go to billzo bc he's so scared of making you uncomfortable LMAO

has a whole notes app list for procedures when you're having issues with your dexcom/blood sugar troubles

makes sure you eat some snacks through the day

🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 I'm so hopelessly in love

TUBBO

before you guys even meet up irl he has a talk with you on what to do if problems arise

you literally hear him type it all down on his phone through the vc

he's pretty calm even from the beginning, but sometimes the nerves do get to him

always has to ask if he's doing things to help you the right way and stuff

if you need his help putting the dexcom in a new spot, he'll be there to help but he's about to panic in fear he'll hurt you

"tubbo, it's fine. you can't hurt me"

"I'm scared I will!"

after time, he'll get used to helping you since he knows you're scared of doing it yourself/have trouble putting it in some spots

keeps some snacks in his pockets/backpack when you're out and about so your blood sugar doesn't drop while you're recording a video or something

if you get weasy or feel like you're gonna pass out, he's got the whole emt training istg LMAO

if you're feeling unwell on stream he'll literally force you to get your phone, hop on a different call with him and prove that you're getting food and whatnot

he'll literally force you to eat on stream

chat uses this for intros of tubbo + y/n edits

gets some advice from Bill as well to make sure you're not lying about eating or anything

if he can't get through to you, maybe Bill can because you're going through similar shit

if not him, aimsey will get through to you

in aimsey we trust 🤞

RANBOO

the first time it happens it was while you were out with them and aimsey

you only told the both of them "hey I'm diabetic just so u know" and left it at that

so when you started having blood sugar troubles out and about with them, they didn't know what to do

you kinda had to explain yourself and tell them how to help and stuff

ranboo made a little safe plan after that, now worried that you could possibly faint and stuff

he has a whole like 3 page note on his phone (like size 9 font too) of what to do in certain situations and when to call 911 if needed

he runs it by Bill too in case you guys missed anything

like bi-hourly checkups that your sugar is okay and stuff, making sure the dexcom is working etc etc

makes sure to only take you to restaurants and fast food places where you'll actually eat instead of pulling the "I'm not hungry" bullshit

he's just looking out for you

"we can't go there, y/n won't eat and I haven't seen them eat today. if you guys wanna do that, that's cool, we'll probably run by a gas station or a store to get something for them, though"

"ran, it's fine-"

"shut up. youre eating, you toe muncher"

"WHAT???"

if you're recovering from low sugar and being weasy/feeling like you're gonna faint, he just tries everything to make you smile

from dumb jokes to comfort videos, etc

they'll do anything to make sure you're better than you were before

you and bill have a diabetes competition where you're just talking shit and spewing about how you've got it worse than the other and ranboo just records it 💀💀💀

FREDDIE BADLINU

during the pov you're at a family reunion ranboo stream is the first time you have troubles around your friends

you forgot you needed to change the dexcom and almost halfway through you step out

like half an hour later you're still not back and the whole groups confused to Freddie goes to retrieve you

brother finds you in the bathtub in and out of consciousness

tbh you blame yourself for writing it off and not thinking about a plan just in case but lessons learned

he texts the groupchat to inform the others what happened while you stumble back into frame with Freddie's help bc you were not gonna ruin this for the others or chat, no matter how much he told you that you weren't ruining anything

you were acting a little out of it but he got you eating off the charcuterie board which helped a bit

afterwards, he always makes sure that you're eating properly and helps you with communicating if you need help with your dexcom and stuff

like Tommy, the beeping when you're too far away from your phone scares the shit out of him sometimes

sometimes he gets a little anxious and slides your phone under the bathroom door or quickly gives the phone back like "I'm just making sure you're okay! it disconnected, I got a little worried"

God I'm so head over heels for him 💔💔

[thepunkmuppet]

UNHOLYVERSE CLOSING THOUGHTS YIPPEEEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

it’s 1am and I’ve finished it :)

the plot was fucking amazing as was the writing, it was like a really really good tv show, or maybe an amazing movie (pt1) and its slightly more deranged sequel (pt2 and 3). I think I definitely preferred all things unholy as a whole, but yeah the next parts really did feel very sequel-like, in that the first one was The Story and the second and third were building on that first core story, expanding the characters and world. which ummmm btw the lore is insane??? so much going on lmfao but I think it all worked really well. the fallout boy stuff was fucking wild though icl because WHAT 💀 I’m also obsessed with the idea of god talking to frank in the form of the cardinal dream, that worked soooo well and still leaving it open at the end is great. I’m so glad frank and gerard got a happy ending, I ship those stupid twats SO hard I’m literally clawing at the walls they make me INSANE RRAAHHHH!!! icl I really didn’t care about mikey and ray’s romance like at all but it worked as a source of conflict and was pretty cute

I kind of forgot it was meant to be mcr fanfic for a while lmfao, which brings me on to I guess the most important part which is my main takeaway on the whole rpf thing

as I’ve said in a post before, I really struggle to picture voices and faces accurately in my head when reading. well except when it comes to buffyverse characters, but that’s just because those shows are so deeply ingrained into my psyche forever that istg I could literally channel buffy summers at this point and just become her. lmfao but yeah I really struggle with that! so when I’m reading, I just kind of create a vibe, a vague mind’s-eye image of a character, it’s very hard to explain. so for me these frank, gerard, mikey, etc characters were subconsciously already way far removed from the real people, like I had to consciously make an effort to make them sound and look exactly like them in my head. but like I said, it felt like a real piece of media like a tv show or something, so to me the unholyverse characters are just that - characters. it really felt like mcr playing movie roles lmfao which I was perfectly happy with. the romance and other relationships were written soooooo well, the real problem was ofc the smut!

I don’t like smut in general, not in a judgy or censor-y way, I just get no joy or kick out of reading it and all it does is make me feel awkward. but with rpf smut, even though I see unholyverse frank and gerard as fictional characters, I can’t ignore the fact that THIS IS FULLY EXPLICIT WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY PORN BEING WRITTEN ABOUT REAL PEOPLE 💀 read it write it all you want, personally I find it uncomfortable and it just doesn’t do anything for me. made me think too much about the fact that it WAS rpf, yk?? got me thinking about the real frank and gerard and how fucking weird it would be to read smth like that about yourself idk, also the fact they have wives and kids…. 😟 gosh idk it was very very well-written smut, it just made me so icked out the more I thought about it

but anyway, OVERALL: I loved it. it was so good, will definitely reread, bookmark, and think about it for a very very very long time. possibly scream and cry and tear my hair out too, idk. part 1 was my favourite by a long shot, it’s so iconic, and feels pretty removed from parts 2 and 3 in a nice way that makes it feel like a movie and its strange sequel. I’ve discovered I like rpf when it’s good and when it’s a complete au and the people feel like original fictional characters in their own right. I don’t enjoy rpf smut, though, AT ALL, which isn’t a surprise bc I don’t enjoy smut in general, the rpf aspect just made it way more uncomfy for me personally. kind of feel the need now to bleach my brain out and consume normal mcr content just to remind myself of the disconnect between unholyverse frerard and the real people lmfao

OH ALSO THAT

I do NOT ship frerard irl, that shit’s fucking weird don’t do it. yes there is a difference between fic like this and saying two married friends and colleagues in real life are actually in love with and attracted to each other. I do for sure ship unholyverse frerard, as I’ve said they’re fictional characters to me

[slushi-chan]

YOU GET IT

I get so pissed and annoyed with this fandom drawing art of Bo hating Vincent and being cruel as adults! Could I see Bo resentful or cruel at a young age towards his twin? Yeah, of course! But for near 20 years all they have is each other in a damn near toxic co dependent unhealthy way because of their shitty parents

BO WAS BLEEDING EVERYWHERE AND VOMITING IN THE SINK WITH AN ARROW IN HIM AND TWO VICTIMS ESCAPED ON THE RUN AND COULD ESCAPE FOR GOOD FOR ALL THEY KNEW AND VINCENT AS HEAD STRONG AS HIS TWIN WENT LOOKING FOR VICTIMS ALONE WHEN BO NEEDED HIM AS A TEAM

I'd be fucking pissed too!!!

And Bo STILL in that moment felt guilty for calling his brother a freak just to hurt him and tried complimenting and reassuring him.

Trust me, I am not good with forgiving ppl that can't apologize bc I personally suck up my pride and do it if I care but then again Bo goes out of his way to talk to Vince right away when my sister would've called me every name in the book, we would've argued and left without a word

And this man that suffered so much trauma and so much hate at such a young age STILL has a soft spot for his twin and STILL tries in his own fucked up way right away to make amends for snapping at him

I'm sorry, yes, Bo is shitty. He's a rapist, sadist, murderer, toxic, manipulative, controlling.

But I physically cannot see fanart of Bo abusing Vincent cruelly bc idc he would never. Istg ppl just saw Bo be mean to his brother in a shitty situation and since he didn't apologize (He tried in his way) then he must be abusive to Vince too! If anything they both resent each other yet if one dies the other might as well die too

No hate to the author who will be unnamed (I don't remember their name anyways 😅) but there was one fanfic of Bo beating his 'wife' reader because another man said hi to her and he does this regularly then ties her up when they got KIDS and I cannot see it. Not for a guy saying hi that was gonna get killed anyways. Could I see Bo 'taking what's his' to mark reader sexually? Sadly yeah his boundaries with women are non existent but a WIFE? He would have to be insane with jealousy and idc I can't see someone finally loving him and putting him first over his twin for the first time ever being his punching bag. A captive reader that develops stockholm syndrome and disobeys? Yeah probably bc he doesn't 'love' them. But a wife with kids???? Uh uh. That man would seperate his domestic life and violence as much as he could just my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own renditions and dark material but I feel the fandom makes Bo way more hateful than he is

Carly was a woman he instantly looked at as prey and was a victim he knew was dying so if he had to have fun cutting off a finger or SA her in the basement then in his warped mind why not? That imo is ttly different than his brothers or fictional kids or S/o IM JUST SAYING!!

(Sorry for the rambling I have a hard time finding others that see Bo is more than the unreliable narrorator Carly is in the film that is done so subtly and Bo IS a pos that's its easy to overlook)

Also Vincent is shown to be strong and he kills more than Bo does in the movie, he could stand up for himself but he doesn’t, because Bo isn’t abusing him, not to mention him holding Bo’s dead beaten body and cry yelling to the best of his ability, they clearly care about each other.

I feel like people see that one scene and the opening and assume Bo is angry and abusive all the time (also people can write him however they want but I feel like I see a lot of people boiling his character down to just being angry and violent and mean) and he had behavior problems as a kid but just because he did and is mean in one scene doesn’t mean that’s just how he is, people change as they get older, I had anger issues as a kid (I now realize it was probably related to my ADHD I didn’t know I had back then) I acted out when I got mad, I was violent sometimes, now as an adult I don’t act out anymore, I don’t even get as angry, there’s no reason Bo couldn’t have changed or learned to cope as he got older, even with all the shitty toxic shit as a kid, once he was older he could have worked on it himself, we don’t know but like people just assume oh he was an angry kid with behavioral issues and he yelled at Vince as an adult and don’t take in any other context from the scene and decide he’s angry and has anger issues and that’s his entire character.

Also I agree he wouldn’t treat a wife like that, man was not given love as a kid he wouldn’t risk the person who actually loves him, plus we see he clearly cares about Vince, when he tells him ‘Ma would be proud’ he’d be the same way if he fell in love with someone I think, he’d try his best to make up when he did fuck up, he’d show he cares

Is Bo a bad person, yes he very much is, he does horrible things including heavily implied SA, and he has no problem murdering people, but he’s not rotten to the core with no redeeming anything who’s only bad with no good

No one take this as you’re wrong or bad for your interpretation of Bo, if someone wants to write him like that go ahead, you do you, it’s your writing and you should do what you want, I just wish more people looked deeper into Bo’s character and thought more critically instead of just accepting Carly, a victim who only sees a small window of the Sinclair’s life and behavior, as the truth

Actually I think it was one of your posts I saw that made me see Bo this way, you were the one who converted me lol

[zalrb]

“Honest about what? Making a unilateral decision to take away my humanity?”

“I think you saw me in unimaginable pain and thought about you, thought about what you felt like you couldn’t do.”

“And what couldn’t I do?”

“Be there for me!”

“You really can’t understand what it was like for me seeing you that way and just wanting to make it all go away for you?”

“Pain is a part of life, Damon, you don’t get to just pick and choose the emotions you want to feel because it’s easier.”

the thing is, this is something he tries to do himself all the time and he always ends up hurting people because of it, he never feels any remorse either, which already makes it impossible to root for him. but the fact that he basically forces elena to go down the same route as him is so DISTURBING to me. like yes he got access to her psyche like that because of the sirebond... but the more grow up and learn about different types of relationship dynamics the more i find myself interpreting the sirebond as a metaphor for traumabond. elena is traumatized, shes young, supposedly empathetic and slightly naive. in that scene she was at her lowest. and instead of supporting her through that crisis emotionally, he takes advantage of her fragility and gets her to cope in a really out of character, destructivea way, cause thats the only way he knows how to cope himself. its horrifying to watch cause there are countless young people who really find themselves in toxic relationships like this and in the end they become unrecognizable. istg delena could be used for a study on abusive/toxic relationships

“No, don’t turn this into a you versus Stefan thing–”

“IT’S ALWAYS A ME VERSUS STEFAN THING!” Damon had roared. “It’s always about him–”

“NO, THIS IS ABOUT YOU BEING A COWARD!”

love how he tries to avoid accountability by painting himself as the victim. so in character for him. what i love even more is how elena never falls for it in your fanfics. makes me so happy

"He’d stormed out of the house after that and when he’d come back hours later, they’d decided not to rehash what was said and simply declared the argument over with a night of makeup sex. They hadn’t spoken about it since, and Elena told herself once they got over the awkwardness of what was said, things would be … what they were. Whatever that was."

MAKE UP SEX. OF FUCKING COURSE.

This part was interesting to write when I wrote it in the original because I was like I want Damon to act exactly the way I think he would in the show but the difference is Elena has sense.

[stillmonsterz]

god i love u fr

anw so— birds of a feather quite literally fucked up my day (in a good way) like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way?? i mean that in a very appreciative way and i think ur genuinely one of a kind absolutely gem writer on this app like i could go on and on abt the way you write your characters and their chemistry w each other like ugh im eating it up im so full

so onto the actual fic, WHAT THE FUCK RIKI?? when i catch u riki istg, my heart SANK at that last part like i knew something was up bc he hasn't caused anything in a while and that was like a bullet sized dagger straight through my heart jfc. he had me all bamboozled and im actually feeling rage at the way mc showed vulnerability to him only to be backstabbed by him and now he's like dragging her w a noose around her neck— it's insane how he immediately dismissed mc and jumped the gun at how she could only be lying like that part just made him go from my fav character to my most loathed character. also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

oh and i cant forget abt the jay scene in the hotel GOD i had such a viceral emotional reaction to every dialogue they said— my brain is thoroughly jumbled, a smut scene on ecstasy could never compare to the gut wrenching situationship break up that was. if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it. there's just a lot to say abt that scene it might be my all time favorite piece of fanfic i've read in my life, im losing my mind at the contrast between mc wanting to savor the moment and make it last longer while jay's trying to get it over with bc i know that he knows if he takes as much time as he'd like, he'd actually realize he loves her and that's just too much of big boy feelings for him (im bullying him too much bc im so sour rn)

also the reveal w jake dealing w addiction was eye opening, like now im rethinking back to all the times he's been fidgety and including that recent scene w mc when he comes out of the restrooms, god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

and i think we might be only skimming the surface w the other members, i weirdly adore sunoo lmao he's such a cryptid being, and tbh the only good thing that came out of this was sunghoon and lily being a maybe healthy couple, i love love that scene w him and lily it's such a sweet and cute moment in between all the shit mc's digging herself in lmao. i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls, he's gonna be important later on and im feeling the nerves crawl up my spine even though he's never shown up once in this part, im that scared of him 😭

im terrified at what's to come, like actual dread on if riki's abt to spill everything to jay and if jay will find out and— this is too overwhelming and my mind's so cluttered lol. anw im not gonna speculate anything rn for my health but im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol. not to say this was horrible no no quite the exact opposite this is the most fun and absorbed i've got from a fic in a long time, this left such an impression on me that it sneaks into the back of my mind all the time, which amplifies everytime i open this app just to scroll and i always unconsciously search ur user to see if you've updated or not.

last one i promise, thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed 🥲 (sorry for this wall of text also lol)

Putting my answer under a read-more

First of all, please don't apologize for sending large asks like this. I honestly love it when people have a lot of things to say about my works. It makes me feel as though I've created something rich enough that it can be discussed.

like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way??

Thank you so much for this...I think I can attribute this to me reading. I read almost every day, and I only read things that I enjoy.

also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

I sort of wanted to emphasize that anyone who would join the Karma Club would inherently be predisposed to doing horrible things for their own enjoyment. Also, as in real life, sometimes the nicest people can do horrible things. People are far more contradictory than we give them credit for. That being said, no spoilers on what he'll do with the screenshots. It's been fascinating to see the revulsion towards Riki's actions compared to what Jay has done to the MC.

if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it.

If it makes you feel any better, they aren't really at square one. Square one was Jay harassing her nonstop because he truly was disgusted by her, in as equal measure as he was fascinated by her. Like he said, he now doesn't even know if he hates her anymore. So even though it seems like they've gone to the beginning, this is new territory for both of them. Jay is a huge pussy, though. He calls Jake a pussy, but Jake has made more genuine attempts to get close to Y/N than him LOL

god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

It's good that you don't trust him. At that point, Heeseung had already told Y/N to just be nice to Jake, so she didn't want to bother him. Heeseung essentially told her that she was part of the reason why Jake relapsed, so she doesn't want to toe the line.

i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls

No spoilers, but Jungwon will come into play. Something happened in the earlier part of birds of a feather that will have an effect on what happens in Part 3.

im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol.

Thank you so much! And yeah, I definitely drew from my high school experience for some of this. The only other time I've ever done that is for Tired of What We Are, and I think you can see some of the parallels. Not to say that fluff is unnecessary (I do plan on writing something cute) but it's just fun to play round with people who are morally questionable, and who revel in their bad traits at times. Not so fun to experience it yourself, though.

thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed

Thank you so so much. I took a long time to answer this because I wanted to keep this ask to myself. Whenever someone sends me a longer ask, I read it over and over again. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. I really do love writing fics, and I'm grateful that people are willing to read them. Thank you for all of the kind words you've written, and for taking the time to read my fic!

[nosolaceofastraightanswer]

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY MASS REWATCH EXTRAVAGANZA S3E10 ALGAMATION POST

the final one!!!! ogufhhghrgfhfhfhf. let’s get to it besties i have to write some psychology paragraphs after this still and let me tell you the night is not young 🤠

im totally gonna have an emotional note at the end omg i can’t believe it’s overrerrrr 🥺

i think overall there were so many good character interaction scenes and i wish that the development from those happened ages ago. the characters felt very cartoony and stagnant for a while tbh.

this episode did however remind me of how much i love viktor + allison’s relationship istg they need interaction s4 plssss they’re so fucked up but they lvoe each other so much bro

my wishlist for s4 only grows 😔

glad they brought back five Being Insane this ep. i feel like he didn’t bring this manic energy to the rest of the season but now that it’s here i’m just like yes get it king 👑

i have individual posts to make but i’ll say it here anyway: MURDER HOTEL IS SO FUCJING COOL!!!!

that yellow light was so creepy but OML the bugs?!!??!!?!?!?!? agahhgkgkgkgkgkg it gave me the heebies AND the jeebies.

sloane also deserves to go feral but like. srsly wish she was more developed. when i tell you villain arc sloane is in my heart okay.

dielila enjoyers stay winning ig???? im sorry they’re adorable.

miss stabnley tho :(((( baby

that sigil stuff was cool!!! wish we got more worldbuilding OUHGGHH

in all caps is my literal reaction when allison goes into her apartment (ft return of The Notes bc im just quirky like that)

AAAAAAA okay so analysis and individual posts r done

tysm to anyone who interacted this wild ride!!!! it’s been amazing and i lvoe you guys sm. im so glad the fandom community can come together to appreciate this thing we all lvoe like????? 🥺🥺 i gotta make a psot @ing my fave tuamre posters!!! <3333

to anyone who is an algamation post enjoyer: ily 💪💪 we stay winning

ALSO for the future now that the rewatch is over, i will be staying active in the tua fandom and posting still!! i have some art i made recently and MANY brain animatics that i hope will one day make it to paper/flipaclip. i’ve also got some analysis i’ve been holding off on cus it would be a LARGE undertaking, and i’ve been thinking of writing fanfic on my ao3 sometime!!! i love the tua fandom and i’m having a blast. ^_^

we can only pray for the s4 outcome whenever tf that’s coming out.

i have had so much fun reading everyone’s posts and hanging out. i met so many people through this as well!!!! hiiiiiiii

OUGUGHHFHFGHG u guys r the best :D

also thanks a million years forever to the bug enjoyers HERES THE GUY

look at him Wiggle. anyways have a good night everyone! i have to Go Do Work now. love u guys <33333

[digglesthedickerfly]

Lil rant about how much I hate Peter Parker in fanfics, again.

Whys he always crying? He gets beaten up all the time and can’t handle it. Have you seen Flash? He’s scared of everything and always in shock. Tf. Peter’s always like “Tony doesn’t need me. I’m useless, just a freak. I’m a nobody. I’m dumb and stupid!” Like wtf… Mate, you are like the smartest kid in school, what are you on about? And a freak? Have you seen half the people you’ve met? Useless? You nearly pulled off Thanos’s glove by yourself. Wdym? Why is he so upset all the time about everything?

I know people feel like this some times, but not this much. This isn’t life, this is just you deciding to be a shitty person and ruin a character. He cries 24/7 and has a panic attack nearly every chapter, Istg. It’s so random and it really needs to be toned down.

This is so extra and it’s literally just you having no ideas. It’s not fun, it’s not a good story, sit there for a fucking hour and actually come up with a decent story line instead of this bullshit, please. It’s not normal no matter what he’s gone through. He may feel depressed at times, but this is just him acting like baby about everything. He could literally see someone laughing with their parents and will go into a full blown panic/anxiety attack because they’re all dead. Not how it works.

I can’t handle fanfics anymore, at this point he’s considered a pick me. All I can think about in fanfics is that he’s a pick me and it hurts since he’s my literal comfort character.

[shiningclown69]

Also replying to @winxdclub about that post

Its v fun to read and reply but also IM SO SORRY that this has led to so much spam 💀😭 Hopefully you don't feel obligated to respond to everything. Ok, now i can respond

Yeah, I am begging for the writers to let Riven NOT be the cause of every single problem. Helia is totally prone to make mistakes on his own, pushing most of the blame to Riven is such a cop-out. Esp when the lesson should be that mistakes don't define Helia's worth as a person at all. If Riven does screw up, let him be apologetic!!! He has shown he has the capability to apologise!!!

Also yessss it would make more sense that the rumour be that Helia was a prodigy who screwed up and left RF. It adds to that layer of mystery Helia has and makes it more rewarding when the rest of the guys grow to trust him

Helia: Maybe Brandon should be leader since he's the ONLY one who hasn't tried to put Riven in a chokehold at least once.

Timmy: But I haven't?

Helia: You would if you could.

I'm sorry to make you hopeful for S6, it WILL be disappointing. But hey, new characters mean new reworks from Rus haha wink wink

Oooo the idea that Brandon's struggle is not rly seen bc of the subtlety of is interesting, tho I wonder abt the logistics of it working in a episodic setting. Istg all these sound v prime for a specialists fanfic or rewrite haha

Yeah Brandon is probably an outlier when it comes to reacting to fuck ups. Tho, I don't think there's much opportunities we see that if i rmb correctly. Only times I can think abt is S4 when mitzi kissed him and he just awkwardly walked away from the argument, some moments from S6 when he confronts Stella, and him apologising solemnly when he breaks up w stella in the comics. And maybe the funniest moment: Him washing dishes when he hasn't resolved things with Stella yet, and there is an unecessary amt of awkward tension. For DISHES.

Brandon bias <3 <3 How he ends up being sexy haha funny man with this kind of backstory + the most serious way of dealing with conflict is a mystery to me.

Hmm I did consider that Erendor prob wouldn't like Sky being friends with Brandon. The only justification I came up with is that (if this info i saw from the magazine canon) Brandon's parents are close to Erendor/Samara, as their advisor/handmaiden respectively. I don't think they respect their courtesans much, but that connection might have given Brandon some leeway to be friends with Sky.

My hc before I knew his family info was q similar to your idea I think? That Brandon was the son of Erendor's longtime bodyguard. The fact that his father could easily train him + similar age + accessible and "acceptable" to let near Sky would prob make Brandon a good candidate

ALSO YES we need to acknowledge more than Nabu was prob left alone with his servants and guards!!! I feel he defo snuck out alot, which is why he learnt invisibility spells and changed his name. Might also explain why he has a tendency to babble sometimes abt things he's interested in (getting trapped in a cage is NOT a good time to talk abt music my man), mans prob happy to be around ppl his age who are willing to hold a conversation with him.

Ok i should have elaborated more. Brandon IS a child soldier, but I was imagining the duration that he's been put under this job. 15 is a good range but I hc he might have started younger at around 10-12? Idk maybe this has smth to do with the S6 thing i mentioned Brandon keeps mentioning "since we were kids" as if it feels rly long ago

Also I didn't know where to put this but I looked back at the S2E14. Brandon going "I've been here before" when the gang are inside Yoshinoya's prison cell?? Brandon what??? Are you ok????? I don't like that implication!!

I think Sky should defend Brandon more. Yknow, as a treat, for both of them.

[pagerunner-j]

Some TLOVM new-episode notes, under a cut 'cause there's some great stuff here and I, uh, went on for a bit:

Not gonna lie, I was halfway expecting the theme to The Neverending Story after that Falcor-looking fucker flew by.

Watching an animated version of something I watched happen in person in a live episode is a damn trip. I feel like I should be sitting in a movie theater on Pico all over again...

Grog all torn up over hurting Pike: *tinysob*

Put...the sword...down....Grog...

Okay, putting it down in a rock will do. More dramatic than a pocket dimension, anyway.

Percy, stop trying to sound like an expert and get on with flirting with grass.

Hey! Laura found her best friend from the next campaign! Convenient!

Honestly, I'm kinda liking how they're shifting things around with Grog. Having this fit in with his whole "where do you get your strength?" theme works.

Hi there, Billy! Nice to hear you here!

Arta -- ahem -- Garmelie drawing dicks? Fancy that.

Vax, you're cruising for a bruising here, and by that I mean my palm across your face. Chill.

Ashley and Sam going full country twang: bwahahaohdearhelpme.

(it works, though)

Pikey made the Scan-man bluuuuuush...

PokéTrinket!

...I think I read this in a fanfic once.

(istg it's fucking pollen they knew what they were doing)

Diplomacy in action! About time.

Well, the boys are talking again. That's good.

"We are all just prisoners of our own anxieties...." Keyleth wasn't wrong about that part, at least, before the rainbow vomiting started.

Sylens, stop being an arrogant jackass and start being useful--oh wait. Wrong narrative.

Ripley consorting with dragons: *chef's kiss*

Twin angst incoming!

--

Syngorn is indeed pretty AF.

You don't want to tango with pixies, indeed. You might, on the other hand, want to steal their furniture for your dollhouse. *side-eyes Percy*

(yes, that was an actual thing that actually canonically happened in the campaign)

(I will love it forever)

Heh, I've heard THOSE lines before. Wink wink nudge nudge. Little sudden in this context, but I certainly can't complain that they're here.

can't complain at all

nope not me

VELORAAAA

Velora's owlbeaaaaar

Velora so cute

Troy sure does do a good job at playing a pretentious ass.

(cough)

Wilhand!!

And there we go with the namedrop. This time it pretty much worked.

stop giving Vex's character moments to Vax challenge 2k23

We're about a handsbreadth here from Miracle Max and honestly I can't really be mad about that part.

"You'll need to amend one name, though."

Watching that happen in person was so fucking satisfying, I'm not going to lie.

All right, I have notes here and there about how they're adapting this, mostly just because it's having to happen too quickly for all of it to land (the eps are short, what are you gonna do), but I love this conversation between Percy and Vex. They finally got to work in Percy making things for her, too!

"I gotta stimulate myself? Okay..." "Back it up." Sporfle.

Nice frog-to-not-quite-a-frog transition there. (Ribbit.)

Saundor, you creepy fuck. HANDS OFF OUR GIRL.

"Sweet, broken Vex'ahlia." I love that line and hate it in equal measure, and I want her to shoot him in the fucking faaaaaaaaace.

Hey, THERE'S that line I wanted her to yell at her father! Slightly different context here, but hey, I'll take it.

"My heart is someone else's." <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

"How do you fight a tree?" With FIRE. Seriously, this was one of Keyleth's coolest moments and best strategic decisions in the campaign, and I love that they're going for it.

"Twig dick." I say again: sporfle.

Okay, they're making this fight look absolutely badass.

SHE'S USING

PERCY'S

ARROWHEAD

see, this is how you do it

Stubby

Garmelie Artie, you little fuck.

(The traveler, hmmmm?)

(And thank god that was Matt. I mean, who ELSE could you cast?)

KILL BOX INCOMING

--

So the herd is fucking terrifying. Appropriately. But dang, this got grim in a HURRY.

Mythcarver has been so much more useful in this show than in the campaign that it's kind of hilarious.

One thing I love about this episode: Grog has, legendarily, an intelligence of six, but it's easy for the animated version of him to slip into all-doofus-all-the-time mode in the way the campaign never did -- in part because Travis is clearly so damn smart and you have him out of character as part of the picture. So it's nice giving Grog more depth here to do its part in balancing things out.

Pikelan cuteness: <3

Grog backstory! Grog and the gnomes! <3

KAYLIE

I wouldn't flirt if I were you, Scanlan

I mean: I really, really wouldn't

for reasons

Grog saving Wilhand is everything I hoped for.

In a word: ouch.

Dark-haired Pike! <3

I want to hug them both, okay? They deserve hugs.

....Scanlan, please, hit the brakes before you hurt yourself.

Good to see some tabaxi out and about in the world! Now please save the wee one.

"I swear, I know that voice!" Iiiiindeed.

Kevdak, you're an asshole, and you'd be nothing without your magic toys, and you know it.

"Your armor's not exactly the quietest." Oh, Pikey. Never the stealthiest, are we.

Scanlan, I'm not gonna say this again. COOL YOUR JETS.

Nice magic tricks, though.

saaaave the kiiiitttyyyyyyy

you're not doing this on your own and we all know it so listen to Pike okay

...all right, save the KILL BOX INCOMING for next week, but we're well on our way!

[perfectmanisperfect]

i’m gonna rant on here cause no one will see it but some people istg. like sure i’ve been reading fanfiction for years and i just don’t understand the way some people react to it. like if something happens that you don’t like or makes you upset you have full autonomy to STOP READING IT. i don’t get going onto another app and just complaining about someone’s work. like most likely it was in the tags and even if something isn’t tagged which yes sucks you can still stop reading. like it’s fictional characters and people can interpret them however they want. they don’t belong to anyone and that’s the point of fanfic it’s their choice to write them that way. people who do this make people less likely to share work and worried about being dragged down. if you don’t see them that way great, find a new fic and move on. i couldn’t tell you how many times i’ve stopped a fic cause i didn’t like something but i can tell you i’ve never told someone their work is wrong or sent hate or gone on some other platform and started a hate train. sorry i just hate that so many people get this treatment and don’t feel comfortable sharing their writing. cause yes fanfic is not a job and no one is obligated to write it so please can people just silently walk away instead of bringing people down. and i know there’s complications to this argument cause some fanfic is messed up but in this case it was literally just someone disliking a characters action and i’m like there’s plenty of other fics where this isn’t the case and people write characters doing dark and fucked up shut all the time.

[foxymoxynoona]

Foxyyy flux is ending😭😭 what am I gonna do without my favorite dumbasses?? okay but I was just thinking about this and I want to acknowledge it: can we all agree that you’re, like, a fucking GODDESS for managing to basically write 2 LONG ASS BOOKS IN WHAT, 1 year and a half? Two years? Sure you had stuff written already but you had yo write, you know, the other stuff lol and I’m sure you went back and rewrote many things as you went on… not even mentioning you did this while writing 718272882 other stories and most importantly while managing to have a life..? I’m in awe. Or maybe you’re just terrifying me🤪🤪. You might thinks this is coming out of nowhere but it’s not: I just got in my feels about the next GoT book not coming out, STILL, after 13 years and I was like “see George.. foxy would never!”

Anyway about this flux chapter: I don’t know if I’m pissed at jk or not. Homeboy is not telling her anything! Because I appreciate him probably not wanting to “force” her do to stuff even if it is his culture and not making this harder on her than it already is. But Sasha is panicking already and I don’t think finding out things along the way is helping! I can only imagine showing up to an event and everyone is wearing a hanbok except for me! I’d rather dig my own grave if I’m being honest🫣. Overall, I think it is going a little better…? I guess I’ll only be perfect when she won’t be panicking anymore and I don’t think we’ll get there for a bit lol. And the ex girlfriend bit… as I was reading I was like “maybe Sasha shouldn’t be this jealous about her too” until I realized we should trust no one in this story so… Chungcha I’ll keep my eye out for you👀

And about your recent ask “thematically appropriate to the bit in Flux I wrote today” WYD?? YOU CAN’T TEASE MY LIKE THAT WITH HALF RUSSIAN HALF KOREAN BABIES AND THE LEAVE?? not cool🥲

🌸

It's even crazier when you consider I have SO MUCH WRITTEN for the next three books too and absolutely rewrote a bunch of stuff as we went. I thought when we got to this arc I'd be able to just use stuff I'd written it before, and instead I had to completely rewrite it, the characters weren't acting right anymore for where we actually are. Holy shit I just realized I've beenw orking on this story for 3 years now?? Is that right?! I started in like January 2020... that can't be right 😱

istg if the magnum opus of my life is this idol fanfic I will scream. Is this what will be on my tomb stone? 😱😱

I really can't believe we're here either, and I'm simultaneously so excited for a break and also excited to dive into the next book haha. The break will last long enough for me to read the first two books, do any little tidying up I need to, and make some updates to the plan for the next book. I want to get some more little one shots written for the other members too 😇

Anyway, I'm honestly way more shocked that there are people still reading and enjoying the story, so thank you! I thought for sure people would be bored and leave by now. If it helps, the next book has several of my favorite arcs, so I'm looking forward to those! 😊

Jungkook is quaking. I went after Sasha this book. Next book, I'm coming after him 😈

[crystal-the-axolotl]

I was going to sleep for real but curiosity got the best of me and i had to go check what the fuck was happening with chapter 277.... Terrible idea Mika. Terrible idea.

(Spoilers and a very angry and vulgar axolotl's rambling below)

So now i'm shaking, trembling, i feel like i'm going to cry or punch something or scream so instead i'll yell here

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

I'm not even mad that every one is alive like that's great as fuck, but what the fuck happened why is evreything solved in just one fucking chapter it feels like invalidating evrey hardship every single fucking character went through and just is terrible i got no other word for it

God i'm so glad i don't have tweeter cause people look like they fucking lost it there, and i mean, tokyo revengers was never the best manga sure, but it was entertaining, had some great characters and stuff (and i'll be honest i'm mostly in the fandom for the fan conten such as some exellent fanfics because i spend my life on AO3)

But i arrived in the fandom at the begining of this year, around february, and already things were falling apart with the final arc

I was in fucking denial ever since Draken and i'm still pretending the final arc never happend

You know what actually is even more infuriating to me? The fact that people have wrote fanfics about Takemichi traveling back in time before all shit went to hell (and i'm not even talking about the rewrites and other "fuck your canon wakui") and these fanfics WERE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS FUCKING PISS FINISHED ENDING HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE IT'S YOUR OWN MANGA WAKUI!!!

So no, fuck the ending, fuck everything, i'm so mad because this manga was so great until like, well until fucking tenjiku ended

Wakui should have stopped at bonten, finished his goddamned manga at bonten, there was no need for a final arc like this

How many chapters of fighting in the bonten vs toman? How FUCKING MANY? AND FOR WHAT? WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THIS?

I'm rambling at this point but look, i'm mad for the characters, for some reason i got so attached to them in less than a year. I just want them to have a good end, sure, but also a satisfying one

This just feels like a joke and part of me is happy everyone is alive but most of me wants to commit homicide

So i plan to continue my denial of the final arc and may the gods help me, i will single handedly rewrite this entire fucking thing if i have to!

It brings me so much sadness that so much of the people out there are going to remember the manga as one of the worst there is. It was not. Not until this fucking final battle. It was far to be perfect, but it used to be far from being the worst.

I still love this story and these characters so much, and i still definitely will continue shitposting about tokrev. Once i'm less mad that is, which will be soon enough

I just hope people will continue to contribute with great content for this fandom, despite fucking wakui, and that theses characters will get the endings they deserve from us (without this garbage scenaristic shortcut!)

Now that i'm done rambling (if anyone actually bothered to read this messy venting at all, that is!) know that i honestly don't care about wheither you think tokyo revengers is trash or not, not because i don't care about your opinion, but because this was meant as a way not to wake my neighbors screaming in frustration, not as an invitation to start fights or arguments.

You like tokrev? Good for you! You think it's absolute horseshit? There's plenty of good mangas and other medias out there, go read some nice stuff instead of loosing your time hating (don't be me and make a tumblr post to shout FUCK) You loved the ending? Good for you! You think it's lame? Good for you! (Or not, because life is suffering, shit endings are pain)

At any rate it's late(er) and i'm not shaking anymore. If you feel like sharing your opinion (without starting shit istg i'm not joking about that) you're welcome to, as long as you acknowledge that life is subjectivity and that your opinion might not be shared by all

Anyways, to those who may have survived me, have a nice day/night/evening, and take care (and read/watch bananafish, you like angsty romance and people dying, i know you do i can read your mind)

(And seriously, go watch bananafish, it's good and angsty and PAIN and some think the ending is dissapointing but in all my subjectivity i think this is one of the best shit i ever watched in my entire fucking short life)

Take care and drink water– Mika

[kyliafanfiction]

Okay, like - clearly my out of fucking nowhere obsession with Amy Dallon (again, w/o having read any of Worm or Ward, and, when this started, not even having read fanfic, just the wiki, some discussions on QQ and some reddit debates. I have since started reading Amy-centered fic) is not going anywhere, but like

People who read worm, are Amy fans, and know the details of what happens with her in Ward:

Does it ever get easier to deal with? Because that fucking shit keeps cycling around in my head and I just - don't want to focus on it?

Like, having bounced through a ton of reddit threads, it's clear on some level that the 'Retcon of Amy' argument is probably not really it, but that also, it comes from a very real place where Wildbow's earlier writing and WoG comments created very different impressions of various.

And I do sympathize with the 'I meant X, you aren't getting X, X is pretty integral to the story, let me clarify X' aspect wrt to Amy's narrative in Ward, after a certain point. I feel like he went well beyond clarifying X from all the excerpts and debates I've seen, but again, I've read neither.

But also, like... I don't actually care what happened in Ward? Fine, in Ward, Amy proves to be... well, all that. I feel like that probably wasn't the most interesting thing Wildbow could have done with her, but fine.

I want to actually like... just stop getting upset about it? And I am and again, I still haven't even read either story.

Like, I know that a big part of this is that I've been through this sort of experience with characters before, so Amy Dallon is just another fucking case of 'character who seemed very clearly to being set up for kind of redemption and then the rug feels like it gets pulled along with retcons new revelations about their mindset and backstory that proves they were never redeemable or what they did was really so much worse, etc.

And it's not like I haven't seen it work (Gul Dukat, in a sense, for instance), but also like... it doesn't work, a lot. Whether or not it 'works' for Amy almost doesn't matter because I definitely have a lot of prior baggage from all the other media where it definitely fucking didn't. (Right down to the part where it feels - whether it is or isn't - like a deliberate spit in the eye to portions of the fanbase)

But I also can be like 'fine, Ward's canon, it's technically in character, but I'm just going to read and write (Please, god, no, I do not want to do this fucking fuck if I read Worm I'm going to want to write fic...) fic where Amy gets to be happy in some form especially pre-Slaughterhouse 9 (though I'd love to read a fic post-Worm where Amy actually like... *does* leave Victoria alone and does make the right choices and stuff. Has anyone written one of those?)

But my brain is refusing to let me so like -

The Amy Dallon brainrot is clearly here to stay, apparently, I don't even fucking no how (though really, I do, because Amy Dallon was clearly tailored made to hit all my fucking blorbo-buttons istg), but like - when do I stop getting so fucking annoyed and frustrated about Ward?

It's not like I haven't managed to do that about other canon and other blorbos, so when do I get to do that for a story I haven't even read that's a sequel to another story I haven't read?

[moondragon618]

~ About Me ~

You can call me Moondra or Moon, Lunar/Luna, Cynder, Dream, or Reverie :) My pronouns are they/them, it/its, she/her, and multiple neos which I'll list here:

xey/xem/xeir/xeirs/xemself

fae/faer/faers/faerself

sh:)/h:)r/h:)rs/h:)rself

lun/lunar/lunars/lunarself

moon/moons/moonself

dre/dream/dreams/dreamself

drae/draer/draers/draerself

dra/dragon/dragons/dragonself

🌙/🌙s/🌙self

🐉/🐉s/🐉self

Feel free to use any of these or you can ask for my preference, but I'm not picky lol :)

I'm a bi + grey aroace genderfluid enby, I'm fine with all gender neutral terms, and gendered terms (excluding woman/man & female/male) are fine too especially if it's funny :) I'm also (self-diagnosed) ADHD + Autistic and have social anxiety- be warned I'm often very slow to respond to asks/reblogs/DMs/etc and that's probably why lmao. I'm also fictionkin with my kins being c!Dream/Divine c!Dream, Protegeinnit/Divine c!Tommy, and Cynder from the Legend of Spyro trilogy :)

~ Interests ~

I'm currently a dsmp/c!primeboys enjoyer as you've probably noticed lmao, and I'm a fanfic writer and occasional sort-of artist :)

Some of my other interests include Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Undertale/Deltarune, the MCU (specifically Irondad lol), Markiplier/Unus Annus, and the Legend of Spyro trilogy (my first fandom <3)

~ Some tags I use ~

c!prime thoughts for all of my c!Prime analysis posts :)

my writing which has all my fics + me talking about my writing lol

Immortal c!Prime- Immortal c!Prime AU (also includes Divine c!Prime where c!Dream becomes a god and makes c!Tommy into an angel)

Shapeshifter c!Dream AU (exactly what it sounds like lol)

Hybrid c!Prime AU (in which c!Dream in an ender dragon hybrid and c!Tommy is a cardinal avian)

ad infinitum :) - My c!Dream kin tag, also includes Immortal/Divine c!Prime :)

everlasting daydream ❤️- My Protegeinnit kin tag, technically also my Protege AU and c!Dream butterfly chat AU tag lol (though for the sake of organization I may make a separate tag for that later)

rp c!Prime :) - posts reblogged from my c!Prime RP blogs :)

~ Before You Follow ~

First and foremost: I absolutely Do Not support cc!dream in any way. I enjoy c!Dream strictly as a fictional character. I completely understand if others personally find c!Dream posting uncomfortable and if that's you, then you might want to block me. If you harass me over this, or for not supporting cc!dream, or any other reason lol, enjoy getting blocked on sight <3

As for a DNI, I don't really care as long as you're not on some terf shit, generally just hateful and/or bigoted, super NSFW, or shipping incest or adult/minor ships (p*ppytwit/blr this means you too stay tf away from me istg). cc!dteam and cc!wilbur stans will also be blocked on sight, and same goes for c!Dream apologists I Do Not fucking trust you lmaooo

~ Links ~

My Ao3

My Writing Masterlist (I desperately need to update this lmao)

My RP blogs:

c!Prime- @haver-of-wives & @your-eternal-nightmare

Divine c!Prime- @your-divine-nightmare & @/angel-of-reverie (this one's having some technical difficulties rn, tumblr stop immediately flagging it as explicit the second I try to remake it challenge (impossible difficulty))

Please check out Stemms, my beloved QPP <3333

Please check out Midnight, my wonderful friend <3

Anyway that is all enjoy my deranged fandom blog lmao :)

(Post dividers by @cafekitsune)