#i feel like i need to say im doing a degree - im an adult who pays taxes and shit - and im the youngest in the house. we all adults. argh

[sunless-not-sinless]

its 1am so i thought people wouldnt be in the kitchen and i could cook in peace

i was wrong

there was a bloody candlelight vigil

[fipindustries]

bojack horse bad again

you know, i was thinking back to this show again, i watched three seasons of it and that was all that i could tomach and you know what? no.

i dont accept it

i dont care, it was a bad show, it was an objectively bad show and i dont accept that everyone else decided that it was good, i dont care, it was a bad show and im going to tell you why.

emotional terrorism

maybe im a simpleton but i am someone who cares quite a lot about catharsis in my stories. this show refused to grant that, adamantly and violently. im not saying i need a happy ending, i am more than capable of enjoying bittersweet or even tragic stories, but i need a sense of completeness, some satisfaction, some release, some sense that things matter or meant something. this show insisted on refusing to give that. all this show was interested in was get an emotional reaction out of you. it was the emotional equivalent of a jump scare. it was convinced that if it made you feel bad enough people would confuse that with beeing powerful and deep. you could get the same reaction by walking up to someone on the street and kicking them in the nuts. and it would take about as much subtlety or artistry.

2. writer led rather than animator led

you could tell this was one of those shows that were made on the writer's room, not by storyboarders or artists, by "comedians". by people with english degrees. so many scenes of characters just standing around and talking. so many "jokes" that were clearly meant to be funny as something you read on a piece of paper or on a tweet and chuckle as you read it but as animation it just gave limp, stagnant scenes. so much dialog that were references and quips and puns and fast witticisms of the type you come up in the shower when thinking of clever comebacks.

there were so many fucking scenes where everything would stop and a character would launch on some stupid profound monologue about life and philosophy and psychology and relationships. it was like the writers were trying on for size paragraphs of their future memoirs or self help books. so much dialog that was begging for an award for writing. so many "mic drop" moments that were designed to be quoted. i find that the best writing is not the one that you can just quote out of context as a cool pithy phrase. a lot of the best writing ive seen in my life is meaningless when devoid of context, is inextricable of the scene and indeed of the entire story surrounding it but in here i can almost see the seams where the writers look at the camera waiting to see if you are impressed

3. inconsistent tone

this show wanted to eat its cake and then still have it. there are stories that manage to deftly weave in and out of comedic moments into serious moments. everything everywhere all at once does an amazing job jumping from the stupidest, most childish jokes into the most profound commentary about human nature, sometimes doing both at the same time and it worked, one didint cheapen the other.

in here though, it wanted to both have a completly absurd world with the stupidest characters ever and then somehow make us care for it all as if the show hadnt shot itself in the foot. it wanted us to see caroline being in love with what is clearly three children in a trenchcoat and then take her seriously as an adult, to treat any forther relationship drama she has as if it werent completly farcical.

4. ugly animation

it continued the blight that is take over adult animation by doing that disgusting repugnant paper puppet rigged interpolated quasi flash animation that only gives you stiff poses and movements and incredibly boring shots of characters standing in 3/4 perspective in front of the camera. it dull and flat and clunky and ugly, and the character designs were ugly. the noses were ugly and the mouths were ugly and the hairs were ugly and the eyes were ugly. it was all ugly. the backgrounds were fucking ugly and the colors were ugly and it was an ugly show to look at. unbearably so. and even the obligatory "weird" stylized scenes put in to shake things off and try to pretend that it was visually interesting (for like one scene per season) were also fucking ugly.

5. it had not interesting point to make

all it could do was insist and belavor and extemporize about how this one guy sucks and also most people kind of suck but specifically this one guy really sucks and he is not going to get better, or maybe he will? eh maybe, but not really, because he sucks. and we are going to make you like him because we are the writers and we are going to make him relatable and charismatic and sympathetic but actually no he sucks, you fell for it! and what does it say about you that you almost kind of liked him eh????. season after season of him, and in case you almost found anything redeemable about him, we are going to make him even worse, painfully unsubtly so, we are going to make him look at the camera and say that he sucks, because that is the level of nuance we think you can handle, dear viewer. this is called "self aware writing" and its postmodern and meta, which means its clever.

i fucking hate this show and the more i think about it the angrier it makes me, and what makes me more angriest of all is that people like it. its popular. it won awards i think. its largely recognized as a good show and its not! it sucks and its bad and if you like it you are stupid.

[megumi-fm]

26th to 30th Apr; doa🚲 complete!!

hi. gah. okay. here's my wrap up for the month

📝 prepped for and completed the last set of internal tests for this degree [2/2] (which I got through after much cribbing and whining and quite literally projecting study topics onto my blorbos 👍 ) 📝 started GRE prep!

🎓 got some gradecard related paperwork done 🎓 spoke to my prof regarding my internship deliverables for uni—report format, certificate requirements, etc etc

📥 I voted! it was the first central elections since I turned to an adult and the whole experience was quite interesting

💻 completed a bunch of tasks for my internship

💻 made like a super extensive flowchart about all the work done at my internship which took me like a total of 20+ hours T-T 💻 finished preparing my Uni Internship presentation! 💻 submitted the presentation to the assistant guide, waiting on her response to make changes atm

🍶 7+ glasses of daily water intake 🎵 svt's new single is out and I've been going insane about it and thus this challenge comes to an end... I had started this off as an 18day daily habit tracker but then it kind of grew out into a challenge for the month. Special thanks to Yumi the loml <3 (@thelastneuron) for starting the Days of April challenge (Yumi idk when you'll see this but i miss you and I hope you've been kicking ass during your hiatus). also massive thanks to Zip (@zipstidbits) for leaving the kindest comments/tags on my post during the past week and to Tanishka (@booksbluegurl) who is literally the sweetest and has been sending in asks and keeping me company during this challenge <3

there's a lot more i wanna yap about in regards to how the month went but I'll leave that under the tags xD goodnight besties <3

month end brainrot

april started off with dips and more dips but by the end of the month it feels like I've caught up. productivity is a wave so as long as I keep riding at it i'll be okay.

also. progress is cumulative. even the seemingly inconsequential completion of daily tasks has lead to an overall improvement through the week. things add up

I spent a lot of time this month (and moreso this past week) feeling dejected that I've been leaving my tracker posts (and my digital planner entries) incomplete... but like. the whole point of trackers and planners (and this studyblr) is to get work done. work is the priority and the tracking is a means to an end. so if im getting work done that is already a win. yeah... i've had to keep reminding myself that

there is no one-tool-fix for tracking and journalling. what works for planning out one task will not work for the other. I need to strop trying to fit all my plans into one formulaic strategy box

on that note. it's time to return to handwritten journaling. digital journalling (notion + YPT + discord + tumblr) was fun while it lasted <3 but my brain needs novelty again so it's time i switch back. I think I finally have an idea for a system that could be sustainable for me... although I say that every time I switch to a new form of tracking. but hey. as long as it helps me get work done for whatever duration of time, it's good enough

using kpop and kdrama references to make notes and study really paid off. ngl I only did it cause I was super desperate but incorporating stuff I couldn't understand with a topic I really like paid off. It also gave me the motivation and momentum to study for much longer than I otherwise would have

last but not least. my water intake has been really good this month! I've also been eating healthy and I've been cooking more my phone usage has also been reduced by a lot. sure none of them have had a perfect streak but i started at zero and it feels like I've levelled up quite a bit. the exercise component has been a bit difficult to maintain given my workload :/ i need to figure out what to do about that...

yep. that's it for now. this month really tired me out, I think im gonna lay off daily challenges for a while. For now I guess I'll stick to my (bi?tri?)weekly tracker posts xD

[bleekay]

anyone who cares about the me hating my room layout saga........come along w me...... no img descriptions im so sorry..... i can only describe these images as "2d bedroom/office poorly laid out in various ways"

sorry im using inches not cm. so here is my room's current layout:

it's a small room, less than 10'x11'. that window on the side is 6'x6' and the window sill sticks out 2 inches from the wall, and it starts 1 foot up from the floor. im using my desk as a bedside table rn. why do i want to rearrange this? why does it kill me that this is what i'm stuck with?

SICK OF MY MOM DOING THIS SHIT. just silently standing in my doorway whenever she walks past my room and i have something interesting to her on my screen. she wont even announce she's there, she just stands there. one time i was watching some stupid funny video and i found out she was behind me because she LAUGHED and it scared the shit out of me. yes i have talked to her about it. yes she knows i don't like it. she says she "doesn't do it on purpose" just sometimes she'll walk past and see something on the screen and can't help but look. girl.

but like heres the thing... what if friends have drawn nice porn??? ideally let's not let my mom look at it. I want to draw porn??? lol, lmao even. imagine what i could make if i were free. no but fr even aside from that, just day to day, it'd be nice to feel like an adult and not a kid whose parent is looking over their shoulder all the time, even past the invasion of privacy issue, having my back to the door means im always on edge... so that is goal number 1.

("why dont you just close your door?" dogs ok shut up)

(also wanted to say that step 1 in preventing my mom from just Doing That was to get a door curtain, which i have now, but it does not change my desire to move my desk. it isnt enough.)

goal number 2 is giving the dogs a pathway equal in flow to the current one. the dog seat next to my chair is 26 inches high, so the dogs can only get there from the bed, not the floor. you can see right now, it's easy peasy for them, step up, bed, seat. that blue circle is where i initially put the dog seat, and it was lower at the time so the dogs could reach it from the floor. alas, katze hated it on that side even though it was easier for me to get out of my chair when it was on the left of me instead of the right.

ok, so we've got the two big goals. desk against right-side wall. easy layout for dogs.

i need you to know i've tried a lot of different layouts ok. i am showing you a FRACTION of the attempts. a fraction!!!! i tried a layout with my bed at a 45 degree angle, don't "have you tried--" me

the left side wont work bc the dresser and bed overlap by 2 inches and it simply won't fit. the right one solved that problem. but both of these have two other problems: 1, dogs falling into window gap lol -- easily solvable, i'll just fill in the window with pillows or something -- and 2, i have to choose whether to give the dogs a step over to their seat or to have a bedside table. can't have both. and i need a bedside table so the dog seat would have to go on the other side with a step up, which would block me in. also unacceptable. both of these are out.

thats what led me to this layout, which i made a post about. so the dresser would work as a bedside table for me, the dogs have decent flow up the step, to the bed, over onto the dog seat. but ah. the space between the desk and the bed is about 20 inches. maybe a little less if the window sill pushes the bed out an inch or two from the wall. am trapped. probably difficult to get in and out. i am not teeny tiny.

and now we are here:

if i just scoot the desk down i have room to move, dogs still have flow, everything's good..... except. you see it right. just a. large gap in the corner. nothing there. surrounded by things that are all 2 feet high or taller. so, a pit really. but, ah, what's this????

a free table exactly the length and width of the gap, stopping any chance of the dogs falling down there and hurting themselves or being unable to get out???

wow, i can move my printer from on top of the dresser to on that table! i can put my mini shelves there which are currently sitting on my desk! i can maybe even set some little trinkets and doodads there!! ah, table that is perfectly sized for my corner pit and that i got totally for free and is in really good shape and not falling apart, wow you're so great! :)

is what i would say if i had a table that fit there and was free and worked well

[nomeniko]

hi :D for the ask game What do you wish more people understood about kazui? Which trial 2 MV do you enjoy the most, and why?

thank you for the ask i would grovel at ur feet in gratitude i hope the sun shines down and makes the light dance for u and you only today

1. if anything ive seen a few theories of kazui possibly revealing himself to be a two faced manipulator of sorts due to his self proclaimed liarness…. like ‘ohh u cant trust what he says he cld be trying to make himself look pitiable to the audience to get voted inno’ sort of theories which is. no he wont do that???

is he a liar? to a degree yes—liar not in the sense that what he says are direct falsities, but more like hes built much of his character to constantly disguise his true intentions/feelings as a defense mechanism. the lies he says are less of words from a schemer and more of redirections from someone who is, all in all, an insecure adult scared of what will happen if he isnt able to meet peoples expectations of him

as much as he calls himself a liar hes mad honest about where he thinks his capabilities lie, which is to say he doesnt believe in his capabilities at all lol. when amane asks him for help with her studies, he turns her down after some consideration bc he doesnt believe himself to be smart enough to help (despite having graduated from a university; sports degree or not credit shld be given where credit is due). when he talks to shidou post ktk attack, he refuses to admit doing any of the work in taking care of the situation and instead puts all the praise onto shidou. even his physical strength and skill (which is arguably the one part of him he does acknowledge and take some sort of belief in) is something he treats as less of something that he has achieved himself and more of an obligation of his—like, hes strong bc to him he HAS to be, bc it is expected of him to protect those who need protecting. he does want to protect others, sure, but much of that wanting comes frm how ingrained it is in him that thats what hes good for, thats what his strength is for (his timeline w/ yuno on her bday says as much nyway)

the way i see it, that self deprication of his plays back into his obsession with meeting the expectations placed onto him, or at least lessening the disappointment of others by lessening those expectations in the first place. if u tell someone that u didnt go to the right university, that u didnt do much to help anyway, that u were born so fundamentally wrong as a person that everything is bound to go to shit as long as ur there (he basically said this to es in his t1 vd im not even kidding), wouldnt that ensure the safety that youre less likely to ruin someone elses confidence in you? less likely to ruin bc in the small chance that u still fuck up, theres not much left to ruin at that point

in the end ig what i wish more ppl understood abt kazui is that hes a liar yes, but not a manipulator. he lies to stay safe, not to be a sadist or whatever. you cant take what he says at face value (in much the same way u cant do the same for any other prisoner tbh), but that does not mean u shldnt take anything he says srsly at all!!!

2. ok this one i have to give a bit of thought, mostly bc i cant pick just one

if the standards were which t2 mv do i enjoy for its direction music n visual wise, purge march takes the cake so quickly. the music itself is so bomb (which like, i cant even find a logical explanation as to why… its just so good to listen to) n the mv itself does such a great job at creating the right atmosphere, both in its flashy theatrics and the subtle uncanniness under it. mayb i have a slight bias bc tpm was the whole reason i got into milgram in the first place, but i stand by it idccc

aesthetic wise, def all knowing and all agony. the horror elements r genuinely disturbing, but not so overbearing that it overwrites the pop style that milgram has going on. i luove the use of amber for blood, plus the filters that remind me of found footage u usually see show up in asian horror movies. i think i was actually terrified the first time i watched the mv

symbolic wise, its cat always and forever god bless. it takes advantage of its aesthetics to hint at subtle secrets so well that it makes me giddy as hell. the use of colors as a part of the set, the transitions frm scene to scene having its own part in making the story, n honestly making the bg more blank than usual readjusts the focus of the mv on what matters p well. i cant mention every detail rn or else id be here all day

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Okay I know this is referring to a very specific phenomenon but takes like this still PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. Screenshot below.

STOP FUCKING MAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCE OF AND APPROACH TO THEIR ILLNESS ABOUT YOU.

Screenshot end.

[Image ID: two screenshots of a tumblr post which reads: ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said "oh don't romanticize mental illness" and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we've come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don't want to get better and spread the idea that you can't get better as if it's gospel and it's fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say "hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it's not something you should accept."

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying "this isn't something that will work" "cool karen i'm depressed" "maybe it worked for you but it won't work for other people" and that's... just... im so sorry if you're 15. i'm sorry if you're in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn't get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of "happy".... if i had seen this shit back when i was ... oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming .... i think i'd have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself.

i'm saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that's causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else's condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people "recovery is a lie", you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can't recover. if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better.

im team "cool karen ive got depression and that means i'm going to try this because i've got to try something" i'm team "romanticize recovery" i'm team "it isn't working now but it might in the future and it's worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn't work for me but it might help somebody else out"

fuck guys it shouldn't be an unpopular opinion to say "i don't want any of you to die". /end ID]

Stop denying the autonomy of mentally ill and mad people and saying "this is just your mental illness speaking and if you think this you need to be forced to recover for your own good"!!! You're a huge fucking ableist if you do this! It's something I've fucking accepted because constantly fighting against it was causing me MORE HARM than learning to live as a person with mental illness, fuck off!

Some people genuinely can't recover! Get this, some people have MORE SEVERE mental or physical illness than you. How is this fucking different than saying "[medication] or [treatment regimen] made my MCAS/POTS go into complete remission, so why are you still experiencing anaphylactic episodes despite trying every possible intensive treatment/med?"

(I try to only use examples I have personal experience with whenever possible to avoid unintentional ableism. This one is especially apt though as depression and most mental illnesses are not an acute injury, but rather a chronic illness. Remission is possible for some people. At least currently, a "cure" isn't, and recovery is usually closer to management than complete healing. Ofc not all injuries can heal either, but I think it's more apt to compare apples to apples here.)

Also, depression isn't the only mental illness, double fuck off!

Get this, I know my own needs and my own brain and my own illness better than you, triple fuck off!

Like yes, don't shit on positivity posts. In the same way anti-recovery posts aren't for everyone, if a recovery positivity post isn't for you, just move on. Filter or block if you need to.

That being said, there's a difference between positivity posts and posts that say "recovery/this aspect of recovery is mandatory". That kind of "positivity" IS causing harm. Stating "hey this isn't mandatory for recovery and recovery itself is optional, do what helps you most even if that means remaining mentally ill" isn't fucking "spreading the Word of Relapse".

Also "maybe it worked for you but it won't work for everyone" is quite literally not an attack and CERTAINLY not anti-recovery. There isn't a single recovery tool on the PLANET that will work for everyone. That's just a fucking fact.

All I can think of when I see this is that OP probably reblogged that post that basically said "you need to brush your teeth, if you don't you're harming yourself and are therefore a Bad Person, and if you can't, you can actually and are basically just refusing to recover out of laziness I mean because you're not trying hard enough I mean because you don't want to and your poor mental health is basically therefore your fault." Because yes, that was the implication of that post.

Refusing to acknowledge that people can be disabled enough BY ANY ILLNESS to not be able to recover isn't actually helping mentally ill people.

Like, even setting aside that I literally romanticize my mental illnesses as a healthy coping mechanism (signed off on by my therapist, in case you only believe people certified by the oppressive institution known as psychiatry), even setting aside that I have mental illnesses that can't be cured and that I don't want treated in part or in whole (I don't want meds or therapy for my schizophrenia, I only want to achieve functional multiplicity with my DID, as examples)...

It's not "spreading the idea that you can't get better" to acknowledge that SOME people can't get better. First of all, fucking curate your own online experience. Second of all, me saying I will never live without severe anxiety, as one example, is exactly the same as me saying I'll never be able to navigate the world without a mobility aid. It's fucking acknowledging my material reality. It's better for ME to stop wasting all my energy on the stuff that I either fully can't do or that hurts me to try to do and focus on what PERSONALLY makes my quality of life better, even if it makes me MORE ILL.

Finally, even if someone CAN recover, they don't fucking owe you that! There is no moral imperative for them to recover! If them choosing to continue to be mentally ill (by which this post only means depression, but even then), is triggering to you, that's a fucking you problem.

Give people the tools to recover, but forced recovery is inherently a form of violence because it violates a person's autonomy! Why don't you focus on building a society where the social conditions responsible for a good portion of depression are simply gone instead of yelling at mentally ill disabled people on the internet who make choices about their own illness that you don't like?

And stop fucking saying "if you make a decision I disagree with, it's your mental illness speaking and you're not actually capable of recognizing that or of making your own decisions (and therefore need "rescuing")"!!!

That's the justification used for institutionalization and psychiatric abuse.

That's the reason so many psychotic people who are not harming anyone have their psychosis forcibly suppressed via nonconsensual medication. (And quite honestly, even for those few that are causing harm, there are other options besides "lose all autonomy" and "be harmfully medicated into an approximation of a sanist concept of normalcy that is actually just drugging someone into docile compliance". Make no mistake, antipsychotics themselves are not inherently harmless and DO require informed consent. Though I am all for their usage by people who DO grant noncoerced informed consent; I'm not anti-med, I'm pro-consent.

It's not "normalizing toxic language" to literally argue for mad liberation and respecting the autonomy of mentally ill people. To say "I actually know my own self and experiences best and can therefore say this is not coming from the mental illness" or EVEN "it is coming from the mental illness, but I am still capable of making the decision to choose this anyway, because mental illness does not make me inherently incapable of consent" (yes, even if it causes the brain to be in an altered state, stop with that paternalistic bullshit), isn't something you need to "do better" about.

Fuck off.

Another thing: why do these posts ALWAYS go hand in hand with childism. It's a bunch of "15 years olds being hurt by the meanie adults who say they can't get better" and "toxic evil adults harming kids by teaching them that it's okay to make peace with being unhealthy because what's best for people isn't universal and our idea of recovery is very rigid anyway as proven by the idea that accepting your mental illness as it is isn't recovery".

I see you, 15 year olds who ARE mentally ill and are writing about mad liberation and anti-recovery and are wildly more capable and coming up with ideas in those veins that are blowing us all out of the water. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you, and my only wish for you is that you find the peace, whatever that means, that is best for you.

Just...

"if I had read this at 12 I would have actually killed myself" I'm glad you didn't, then, but that doesn't mean the sentiment shouldn't exist.

If anti-recovery isn't for you, that's fine. What's not fine is acting like it's inherently harmful and is a form of violence against every mentally ill person ever. Because many of us have been harmed by a culture that is "pro-recovery" and its logical extreme, forced recovery.

[yan-san-yan]

Soo as im writing this au I created, I made some interesting discoveries a while back.

Chloe and Marinette are two sides of the same coin. That's something that if very apparent in the show. The reason why Chloe hates Marinette so much is because she has everything she ever wanted. Love and affection from her parents. Real friends even. They are both natural born leaders, assertive, and likes to be in control. But the way these same traits are portraied/used are the opposite. One is selfless, one is of self interest (i dont want to say selfish because seeking parental love is not selfish, for the other stuff, well that is a different topic).

Luka and Adrien are too.

So Luka being the only male figure and the pillar of the Couffaine family, the anchor that keeps them together has forced him to grow up too fast and take on the role of an adult, a guardian figure. The responsible one who pays the bills, the threapists etc. He has the tools to face most problems with patience and wisdom. But he pushes his feelings aside in favor of others. Personally I think with all this responsibility and the person he had to be shaped into due to life, his true self is lost in the different roles he needs play/is expected of him. It makes me wonder which side of luka is the true one? But he is also aware of this, he settles on the fact that it doesn't matter because each side of him is still a part of him and doesn't make him less himself. But I do think it's a thought he often returns to. Who is he? What does he want? And he struggles with allowing himself to indulge in self-interests. And what is frightening is that on the surface he looks like he is normal, that he is fine, that he thinks for himself, that he is pursuing his dreams, but is he really? How many times has he abandoned those aspirations and goals for his friends and family? There is more to say about him but to keep it short he has an incredible high EQ, and being an empath makes him both wise but vulnerable.

Adrien on the other hand had the opposite problem. Much like Luka, Adrien has a good judge in charachter, but he lacks the tools, the experience due to his abusive and controlling upbringing. He lacks the equipments that comes with what life throws at you so he has now knowledge of how to deal with situations that others have an advantage. He only knows the perfect life his father has paved from him and how to survive high society by remaining silent and keep a smile plastered on his face. But he has immense patient and control over his feelings, despite his flaws, again similair to Luka. I believe that the power of destruction often gets overshadowed by ladybugs powers. Typically destruction is a power we see villains have but adrien has never gone around and cataclyst things in anger. Sure he has his short comings and gets angry at times again similar to Luka, adrien is patient (lila and chloe even if he doesnt agree with them and is uncomfortable aroubd them, he just knows that outing them wont solve anything, which is correct to a degree but he doesnt know any other option! Expecially as Adrien), And I think he doesn't know his place in the world. Who is the real adrien? Many think that Chat Noir is his true self, but that image was born from his desire to be free, after sacrificing his freedom in order to help fu in origins. And adrien may not even be aware of this.

[dontmindmeimjusthereforthesequel]

Ok, wait. Im currently on my third relisten of TMA and I'm at Mag 107 Third Degree. Jon is poking around America following Gertrude's trail and he just found out about Gerry's death and subsequent skin book entry.

And that has always bothered me to a degree.

I just couldn't figure out why Gertrude would do that. It seemed unnecessarily cruel and oddly pointless. At first I thought it was because she needed him for something or just didn't want to lose him, but when Jon interviews him he doesn't seem to have much in the way of information, and Gertrude doesn't strike me as the overly sentimental type; and if she needed him, why would she leave America without his page? She was able to talk herself out of being arrested, and she had plenty of determination and resources as well as a good six months before her own death if she wanted to get the book back, but it just... didn't happen. I just didn't understand why she would go to all that trouble to put him in the skin book and then just... leave him there.

And then... I had a thought.

Did... did Gertrude put Gerry in the skin book to prevent him from coming back as an avatar? Because Gerry died of a serious brain tumor and Trever Herbert had lung cancer when he gave his statement and died in the institute and then just got up and went about his business. And dying is sort of a right of passage into becoming a fully fledged avatar, right? Was Gerry becoming an avatar??? His entire life he was constantly surrounded by fear, (first as a child with Mary and her Leitners, then as an adult with Gertrude at the institute) so there is no way he wasn't affected by all that. The guy had a reputation! He was constantly interacting with people who were marked or in some kind of trouble! even if he wasn't in it to scare people, he was still around them while they were experiencing that terror. There is no way he didn't attract the attention of ONE fear entity that entire time.

And if he was becoming an avatar, what entity was he aligned with? I know The Eye seems like the obvious choice, what with his tattoos and working at the institute, but I'm not sold on the idea. Gertrude and Mary (and presumably Gerry as well) were very careful to walk the tightrope between entities, never giving themselves over to just one, and if Gerry was eye aligned I would think that Gertrude would not approve. To me the tattoos seem almost like a preventative measure of some kind? Connecting himself to Beholding to prevent another fear from sinking its claws into him. Personally, I feel it is more likely he was part of The Hunt (tracking down Leitners for Mary and rituals for Gertrude) or The Desolation (destroying things that are precious to other avatars like the Leitners or rituals). Hunt seems more likely in the long run, especially since we find Gerry's page with two avatars of the hunt. Just saying.

Idk. Maybe this has already been discussed at length somewhere in the community, but if it was I certainly missed it, and it has been bothering me for years.

tl;dr - Gertrude put Gerry in the skin book to prevent him being reborn as an avatar

I need to go lie down

[thewarnerbrothers]

alright i gotta say something

you really cant do anything when you have a moderately popular blog huh

look. im a lurker at heart. i just happen to have one issue: not being able to shut up when im interested in something. thats the only reaaon this blog exists. i didnt come here to make friends, though i ended up doing that along the way

i dont want or need your pity. what i need is for people i dont know at all to stop putting me under a microscope

newsflash: i dont matter. follower count doesnt matter. at all. do you know what its like having thousands of eyes on you all the time? it sucks

i literally cant do anything

if i block literal strangers, they get mad and try to publicly shame me for it. if i try to settle disputes amicably in private, its seen as bad. if i attempt to be open and transparent with modding decisions, its bad. if i ask people to actually talk to me, they dont. instead they kick up a frenzy in private to coordinate a stupid mass hissy fit disproportionate to any perceived slight they may have endured. if i make friends, people take it personally. people see that as some sort of insult. i cannot be friends with everyone. i wont. this hurts strangers feelings, dspite me not existing for their pleasure.

some of you feel very entitled to my time. you dont own me. i dont owe you anything. ive tried to not lose the few molecules of my mind left on a regular basis because of some people who are no longer in this fandom, and some who still are. and man. i am just. tired. of everyone. all the time.

i think even more than the fact that this series was released (mainly) as a bingewatch fest, what killed this fandom was you

not necessarily you, whoever is reading this. i mean the fans. in general. some of you are so annoying, rude, inappropriate, and willfully lacking in social skills. youre over dramatic. youre moody. youre dramamongering. youre liars. youre bullies. youre self-ascribed victims. you dont care about other human beings.

youre repulsive, frankly

you are part of the reason people have been leaving the fandom in droves. the homophobia. the transphobia. the ship hate. the inability to treat other people with basic human decency. the manufactured scandals. shut up and grow up

you know why i barely interact with larger fandom anymore? ill tell you

waves of harassment to varying degrees ad nauseam

creeps who refuse to even try to keep their fetishes to themselves in private groups that include minors

abusers (most of whom are thankfully now gone)

people befriending me only to reveal that they dont actually like or care about me as a person

the most willfully socially inept people to ever exist

nosy jerks who literally cannot stand not sticking their nose in personal problems that have nothing to do with them

people treating me and my blog like im google adsense. im not a billboard guys

people deciding i am evil for no apparent reason? sdkjfalsdjfa

thinly veiled anythingphobia pretending to be socially just (hi homophobes who imply that being lgbt by nature is 'adult')

people who just make things up. all the time. just make up a lie, say it passionately enough. if you try to defend yourself, youre seen as guilty/suspicious. if you try to resolve things quietly with only those involved, you're seen as guilty/suspicious. cant win

wankers who need to learn why parasocial relationships arent actually meant to be embraced wholeheartedly

really lame one-off trolls tbh

the most fandom discourse-poisoned takes i have seen since su hatedom was at its peak

im just tired of being nice all the time? i think you guys just like taking advantage of people you imagine to be good targets

listen. i am allowed to do whatever i want, regardless of how you feel about it. the same thing goes for you. i tend to try to resolve things reasonably and rationally, but i wont pretend ive never gotten mad or overreacted or made a decision i regret. ive made that pretty known. i like to think i've grown, and ive gone out of my way to apologize to people.

however.

some of yall do not understand that just because your feelings got hurt, it doesnt mean you are deserve an apology or an explanation. sometimes it literally is just a you problem. a skill issue. you need to grow thicker skin. learn how to curate your online experience. get. over it.

lets talk about blocking, shall we?

blocking is great. i block people all the time. i block bots, i block tag spammers, i block people who make posts with rancid vibes, i block people who ive personally interacted with and no longer wish to, i block because i get tired of seeing someones posts, i block people who post things that trigger me, i block blogs with icons i dont like. there's usually no grand reason for it, aside from egregious cases where i've been harassed. its also usually not personal. i will block people who ive followed for years. i dont care. i dont know most of yall. i know i've been blocked by tons of people and that's okay! i would rather people who don't want to interact with me do that.

if you get blocked, thats it. dont attempt to contact me again unless i reach out. im not the only blog in this fandom. youll live without my posts. i am not the arbiter of all things animaney.

im just some guy

i know that the people who need to hear this most will not care nor will they actually absorb what i'm saying. ive gotten a lot of hate over the dumbest crap. im done. i think i need to stop trying to be so friendly, because some of you think being a little pissbaby is the only way to interact with others online.

cant wait til i finally explode one day and just delete everything

tldr shut up leave me alone oh my god its not that big a deal jesus christ

[kohakhearts]

ok i was sleep deprived tweeting about this but i got at least 6 hours of sleep last night so im ready to approach this with a degree of normalness. anyway remember when i said i was going to start shipping bloombolt ironically. well lets just say ive been thinking about things they have in common LMFAO but you’re likely unsurprised this is actually my way of saying Here’s How ShigeGou Can Still Win-

ANYWAY THE POINT BEING. goh? terrible friend. god he sucks. actually, chloe doesn’t even consider him a friend, at least not to his face (probably because he thinks friends are a hinderance to his goals and he’s got a lot of problems that make him think he doesn’t need friends he just needs to be the Bestest Coolest Guy Ever Who Knows Everything About Pokemon). in their debut episode they are 6 years old and she introduces him as someone who “hangs around my dad’s lab a lot” (possibly could be “comes to play at my dad’s lab a lot,” which isn’t REALLY much better - still holds the implication that he comes to play with her dad’s pokemon or his cool pokemon-related technology rather than her). she says to professor oak she invited him to pokemon camp simply because he’s always at her dad’s lab and she knew he’d like it.

ok now hear me out here. aside from the fact that she doesn’t EVER call herself goh’s friend, there is zero indication that chloe dislikes goh. actually, she tries pretty hard for him! she clearly likes him, or at least feels bad for him because she can tell he’s lonely (i theorize this is because he’s just like her. that her father’s status as what professor oak himself in this same scene calls A GENIUS has resulted in her feeling somewhat isolated. it’s probably in that “adults always want to talk about how great my dad is and the other kids pick up on it and think i’m Weird And Annoying because all our teachers and their parents seem to think i’m Special” way). it seems that her refusal to acknowledge that they Are friends stems more from the fact that she is aware - perhaps from experience - that attempting to establish that they Are friends will only make him push back, and maybe push her away. she is playing a game with rules that he decided on because his Complex is so ingrained in him even at 6 years old that he tells her to her face I Don’t Need Friends >:(

if this is sounding at all familiar, perhaps you’ve heard my pallet childhood friends spiel. if not, not to worry, for i wrote all about it here. the tl;dr here however is that whether or not ash and gary being childhood friends who go like see movies together or whatever is a late-series addition, there’s actually no good reason to think they DON’T have some kind of established relationship prior to the season one pilot. actually, it seems more as though gary has made the decision for the both of them that it’s time to stop being kids and start being serious - on the day they get their first pokemon, he declares ash his rival and begins calling him satoshi-kun in order to establish that we are not friends, you don’t take this seriously and so i won’t take you seriously until you show me you’re worth being my rival.

you could argue ash isn’t as understanding as chloe, so rather than you know, bringing him his homework and whatnot, he just gets pissed off. HOWEVER, they actually both do the same thing: reach out, constantly, and get rejected over and over. in jn002 goh stands chloe up and then when he finally responds to her messages all he says is essentially “i’m doing something more important than that, sorry” and her reaction is “he always does this.” likewise, ash takes gary’s rival declaration seriously! every time he sees the guy, he wants to battle, to prove himself to him (that he’s worthy, that he’s better than gary thinks, etc etc). for a good 200 or so episodes, every time gary shows up, all he does is walk away from ash. barring that, making fun of him for being no good at battling, yet never actually engaging him in a battle to prove it. the first time gary actually tries to battle him is after they’ve both received eight (uh. or ten) gym badges. the first time they actually battle is way after that. and then he wins and continues to just walk away again, until pretty close to the end of the johto arc (though there’s a little more respect there).

anyway the parallel is pretty obvious. at least to me. there's something deeply wrong with them both <3 which is why then in the project mew arc, who is the one telling goh that he has to be good at teamwork? that he has to learn to cooperate with people in order to achieve his goals? obviously ash is the one who taught goh about The Meaning Of FriendshipTM, but gary occupies a unique position of actually understanding why this is a skill he needs to work on, because it's something he had to learn the hard way too.

on the other hand! ash and chloe have their own fun solidarity: world's shittiest, most emotionally repressed childhood best friend who is allergic to the word friend to begin with

[furiousgoldfish]

Hi - isolated anon again.

What you said about cults really surprised me, but I realized that it did apply to some degree. I've always felt a lot of relatability to cult survivors, even though I never considered myself to be one and I never understood why.

I spent a while on the internet last night and learned about something called narcassitic family dysfuntion, which is when the family dysfuntion works like a cult around the narcassitic person, typically the parent.

Like it's not a cult in the traditional sense, but the same effects of a cult happen - the isolation, manipulation, self worth issues, the world revolving around the narcassit who can do no wrong, etc.

https://www.scapegoatrecovery.com/2022/08/05/10-rules-of-families-that-scapegoat/

^ here's an article I found that summarizes pretty much what all the others did really well. I'd never heard of this type of abuse before and I was really surprising.

You are right that Im an adult, 19, and for as long as I can remember my mom always says something like "oh it's not safe out there" when I ask to go somewhere by myself, or "I would feel more comfortable if I knew where you were going/ if you didn't go" and Im not allowed to go out at night, as, being female, Im apparently going to get kidnapped/assaulted. (Even though we live somewhere really safe) (and, honestly, getting kidnapped seems like a relief). Because all the isolation was framed for my safety, I never questioned it until I got older and I really started to feel the pull of wanting to Leave. My mom still uses that same excuse. That it's for safety that she needs to know where I am all the time and I have to text her any time I go somewhere to let her know I made it/when Im going home.

I tried to talk to my therapist about the isolation and how much it bothered me, but they just told me to push harder against my mom and like. That's not how this works. I cannot win one of these arguments. Like I never have. ever. It's so hard to describe just how all consuming this is. My mom always pulls out the guilt treatment when I want to go out and I feel like Rapunzel. I know it's not normal and I hate it. But it feels like the most mild thing that's going on at home. And to be clear, I can go outside onto the property, in the backyard, whenever, but that's kind of it. Also I didn't realize that being able to go anywhere whenever is a human right. That's.... Ah.

I apologize for this word vomit, I guess I'm just trying to process this in your ask box.

I guess I was also wondering if soon, if it's okay, you'd be willing to make a post about enmeshed families? I would find that really helpful.

Also - was it you who made the post about how to identify if you're being held captive by your parents, or was that someone else, I can't remember.

Thank you for answering my ask. It was really helpful. I do really sincerly hope you have a good day, but thank you for being willing to talk with us about abuse today. I always really appreciate your thoughts.

"and, honestly, getting kidnapped seems like a relief" THAT is relatable but also a red flag, so many kids feel this, being kidnapped would be something that is provable and generally accepted as a 'very bad thing to happen to you', and it would be a huge relief just to be able to point out the cause of your suffering, opposed to the abuse you're going thru right now, that feels invisible, unprovable.

Abusive parents love acting like letting their children out of the house is 'unsafe', but what it does is simply keep children imprisoned (or even adults, in your case). The way we keep protected in this world is not by staying in forever, because that's not a decent human life, and it's inhumane. We deal with this by teaching the kids how to recognize, identify and deal with the danger. Being female in public is not a problem if you are surrounded with a community of your own, if you have a network of people that you can, at anytime, ask for help, who can get you out of sticky situations, who can watch out for your back.

Generally what most people do is just make sure that their kids can recognize and sus out dangerous people, there are guidelines and rules set in place; you don't go alone in an alley with a person you don't know, if someone gives you a bad vibe, you go and hang around your friends where you are safe, you go home before it's late and people get drunk/violent, if necessary and if you visit very unsafe places, you could even be taught to use a weapon or self-defence, in order to keep safe.

And these rules are usually only necessary at night, at locations where predators are more likely to be, at bars, places people generally get drunk or try to get you drunk. You are hardly in danger going to the convenience store, to the bank, to the beach, to a tourist attraction, to any public place in general. You are unlikely to be kidnapped unless someone would have a great financial incentive to kidnap you at this point (if your parents were so rich they could give out a ransom), and if you're taught to recognize the signs of human trafficking and just be reasonably and rightfully wary of strangers and not give them your information or details, you'd generally be safe.

I've never been in anywhere close as much danger in public as I was at home. People are seen in public and they cannot do the illegal and criminal shit they can do behind closed doors, in their own houses. People in public have to watch out, they can't abuse you as easily, and often even won't recognize you as a target unless you seem inebriated and oblivious.

I can relate a little to the 'outside is dangerous' because one of my family members kept saying that to try and stop me from doing activities outside, but this family member had the least amount of influence, and it didn't stop me. I understand when a family member who has the most amount of influence does this to you, it's a completely different story, and you're effectively trapped. But what they're doing is lying to you. You're not being kept inside in order to be safe. You're not being taught how to spot and avoid danger, and that in itself, is more dangerous. It is, in fact, exactly like Rapunzel, and you're I think, the third person I know of, who recognized themselves in that situation.

I'd love to write more about enmeshed families, but the thing is, this is not an experience I had, and I cannot possibly understand or describe how it feels. I think Jenette McCurdy, in her book 'I'm glad my mom died', describes this way better than I possibly could, so i recommend that you read the book (contact me privately if you want me to send the book to you).

And I agree with you about your therapist not understanding the situation - going against the abuser, without the means to protect yourself, will inevitably end in them realizing they're losing control over you, and they will do something insane, drastic and extremely painful to put you back in order, but you already know that, because it's likely you've already been traumatized in this way and know what to expect. Your therapist doesn't seem to understand how dangerous it is to push against the abusers without any safety (ability to get away from them before they can retaliate).

I did make that post about recognizing if you're held captive, yeah! I'm glad it was helpful. And of course I'm here to talk about abuse. If something written here can help one person clear their mind and recognize their situation, that is huge for me.

[royaletiquette]

Name: Rose

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred comms: Whatever, I've never had issues with IM's personally, so I like them. But I know no one else does lol. Discord is cool, especially when we start sending memes and shit to one another.

Name of muse(s): Hibiya and Hibiko. I've had one other muse that didn't last long, I just wanted an excuse to talk about my views and opinions on music lmao. An outlet to express that to a degree, but I just didn't have anything else I wanted to say, no overarching theme or anything.

Experience in RP: Started out the classic way of rp'ing via texts with a friend, where it was like [ "Stop doing that" *laughs* ] as Izaya from Durarara. Not terribly long after I moved to tumblr cause I was already always on it on my personal account and heavy in the durarara community in 2012, 2013, cause I wanted to write as Hibiya. And that was a blast because it started showing on Adult Swim so the anime got more popular and there were just a lot of people and alters to write with.

Stopped and started a few times, but I always wrote Hibiya publically and no one else. I think I barely wrote in 2016 cause the rp side of the fandom was DEAD and I didn't really venture out to find new partners. I had also moved countries so like, wasn't thinking about writing often. Completely stopped thinking about it in 2017 and was writing songs instead. Until after I graduated college and was working fulltime, and after all the lockdowns stopped (Toronto had multiple), I needed a new creative outlet I could work on while not home and kept thinking about Hibiya and Delic and having ideas I wanted to explore. And was very lucky to find my email and password! So now I'm like, I can't imagine leaving tumblr to write somewhere else. Privately I dunno, it's so boring.

Best experiences: It's so nice to have partners that equally gush over one another's muses and relationships, sharing ideas and potential threads and even just being like "lmao if this happened, it'd be over" / "I can't stop thinking about x."

Plus I mean to be honest, it's so, so exciting and nice to hear people excited to write with me and ask about my muses, having genuine curiosity. Asking questions I've never thought of and pushing them to be more developed and fleshed out. I love posting a reply or answering a meme and immediately getting pinged on discord of someone panicking and talking to me about it.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: Too much ooc is the main reason I end up unfollowing people. Which like, listen, it's not like I outright say, I don't care about you. But if it's too much, even though I like you and your muses and want to write, I'm gonna mute your tag. I'd much rather someone repeatedly be like "I'll be on twitter if you care" or whatever passive-aggressive thing, than have a bunch of posts on my roleplay account that are nothing. Let me ignore it if I want to.

I've complained to the point of adding it to my rules, but I hate mains. And I honestly more and more feel like I'm making the right call in that it's very mean and you shouldn't do it. I understand feeling more drawn to some muns/muses than others, but when a mun is repeatedly answering someone's stuff immediately when you've been waiting for a reply for a month. Yeah, it's a little dog shit. There needs to be an effort to balance it out between partners.

A COUPLE ACTUAL PETTY PET PEEVES. That like, I've rewritten this a bunch of times cause I don't want to be dumb and rude even though it makes me want to be very that. I hate when muns make their muses short and are just weird about it. Like, it's obviously written from the perspective of a person that is average height, who sometimes feels short, so assumes someone shorter than them always feels short. And it's like no one thinks about their height that much, stop it. But this is absolutely me, a person who is the height of all those short muses, being like bruh stop being weird. I also hate when there is an unrealistic weight put to muses. Because it's something most people ignore, so just skip it if you're gonna be dumb about it. If you feel the need to be like, my 5'6" muse 90 pounds, think about how dysfunctional that makes a person. It's beyond the realm of "my muse is skinny." But!! Again! I know this is just me being like "your fictional character is unrealistic." People like to make their muses taller than Shaq and as buff of as wrestler, but also be like "it's natural, they would never track their calories/protein intake."

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): Of course it depends. Hibiya is fun because he's awful at being fluffy, so it's great putting him in those positions where I am also so horribly uncomfortable for him. He's always angsty. It gets a little tiring. Smut is all me though, I just get lost in thinking of the details and then I forget to write any of it and it takes forever. Practice though and I know it'll be more fun. There are at least muses now that Hibi wants to be gross with finally.

Hibiko however, is like, always bordering on fluffy, to the point that she really fights angst. Which in itself is fun because that's where most of her development comes from. Surprisingly, smut will be/is really fun for Hibiko because her walls are down, which isn't the case any other time. She also doesn't have as many preconceptions as Hibiya when it comes to sex, so it's more freeing and open for me to write.

Plot or memes: Memes are more freeing. They can be long winded ideas or just a paragraph, so that's fun. But when it comes to the long run, I need to talk about plots to some extent so we're not running aimlessly.

Long or short replies: Long. Mid, really, but I'd rather it be longer than shorter. I've learned I have a hard time tapping into what my muse is going through if I'm not seeing that in return. But short ones are a very welcomed break when they come along. It's nice to easily poop out a reply without being like oh fuck okay what happens first.

Best time to write: When I'm alone in the morning before anyone wakes up (which isn't the morning but pretend it is). I like sitting in silence and enjoying the nothing going on so I can focus. I like to watch movies by myself, and it'll take twice as long because I'll pause it to write while inspired, and watch another five minutes before pausing to write again. The way god intended, really.

Are you like your muse(s): Kinda. I relate to Hibiya more. I'm more aloof than I think I am and can be a little insensitive towards other people's feelings and my words. Emotions are not my strong suit lmao.

tagged by @sansloii

[psychicbergara]

Genuine answer about the overproduced shows question - It's not that fans were unhappy with how the shows were produced before the announcement, in fact most people were very happy with it! But, Watcher announced exactly how expensive this production is and how, in order to fund that production, they need to move to watcher.tv; this immediately creates backlash from these same fans who WERE happy with the production of the shows, but it still wasn't and will not be the REASON these shows do so well. People love Watcher because of the dynamics, the educational content, the clever writing, banter... The incredible production was just a beautiful bonus which ultimately means more to the creator than the consumer, given the kind of audience Watcher has curated on YouTube (mostly youngsters, students, young adults looking for comfort content from their favorite Internet personalities; people who consume their content with varying degrees of dedication and regularity. We can assume that these people can get TV-caliber content from, well, TV, when that's what they want to watch.)

It seems kind of weird to say that people don't deserve to be upset about paying for high-quality TV caliber content to be produced. Those very same people, that very same audience, didn't connect with Watcher because of its production quality in the first place. So people will be upset about having to fund something they don't consider a fundamental part of enjoying a Watcher video. People will want them to cut down on production costs instead of making them pay for something they don't necessarily want.

This is, of course, incredibly one-sided. Watcher feel proud of producing such high-quality and expensive products and I'm absolutely sure it fulfills them creatively. They want to make the best product they can. That's admirable and it should be commended. But it costs so much money, money that they do not have anymore. And there is now a disconnect between the audience's needs and wants, and their own, neither of which are wrong but they are simply not compatible. They cannot expect people to want to pay for their upward climb toward higher and higher-quality content. That's not what their fans see in Watcher and its future. It's a pretty sad situation.

hi anon! thank you for the genuine answer.

while i totally understand, and people have every right to be upset (you may not be talking abt me, and just in general, but to clarify- i have never said it's weird that people are upset. it's weird that people are attacking them, but not being upset. and i'm all for a potential middle ground that watcher may come up with), it's still overall odd people are saying it's overproduced. like yes, you can say you're for the dynamic, for the banter, and that the production was just a plus. i am in it for the dynamics and banter too. but, like you said, watcher wants to produce high-quality products that serve them because they like to create it.

to do this, they shouldn't have to downsize. they shouldn't have to let go of people at all (which was what buzzfeed did and im sure letting go of people wouldve created some backlash too). so they looked for an alternative, and while a bit hasty in terms of not soft launching it at all, they were looking for a better way to make money. i'm not saying people have to agree with it, i'm also ambivalent about it.

im gonna quote the wonderful @/littlekingbergara because they explained it better than me:

"i think people complaining about the production are so happy to see them stagnate. they started the company so they could make shows that creatively fulfilled them and so they wouldn't have to trim down or sanitize their work for a corporation that was at the time buzzfeed and now youtube is doing the same thing. forcing its creators to be advertiser-friendly at the cost of Literally Making No Money for one mistake that can't be undone because its appeals process is inconsistent and may as well be nonexistent. youtube started out as the best platform for them because of the income potential from their built-in audience from buzzfeed and it just isn't that anymore because it's working against its own creators."

but yea anon. it is a pretty sad situation for many. but people have to realize where watcher is coming from, and from the beginning, they have advertised their company as something they want to create tv-caliber content on, and the fact that many people are complaining that it's overproduced when it was always aiming for high production, is simply just odd to me imo 😭 it is okay for people to simply say 'i don't want to pay for this' and move on. they don't have to comment on production quality sdfshdf

[aemiron-main]

I am not trying to be rude when I say this, but have you considered that a blog asking why people act like Henry did nothing wrong and then saying “oh I hadn’t heard that theory before” when told that people genuinely theorize that Henry is innocent is not a direct personal attack on you or your theories? Maybe taking an offhand statement as a targeted diss at your theories and insisting that you clearly understand their line of work better than they do might be a bit of an overreaction?

Have you considered that the og post literally wasnt asking that and instead was straight up saying that people like me are batshit insane and that a bunch of the TAGS (which is also what my response was replying to) are VERY SPECIFICALLY bashing my analysis/are from people that i’ve had in depth arguments with about this before and that i’ve also seen a bitchy reply from op abt this topic before on another post? If the post was just “i dont understand why people think henry did nothing wrong,” i would have HAPPILY explained without any snark. But that wasn’t the post and that wasnt what was going on in the tags & its disingenuous for you to act like that’s what was happening.

Like, the tags were ABSOLUTELY targeted and specific on that post AND many of them were from people who have SPECIFICALLY gone after me for this before AND op was calling people like me batshit insane AND this is not the first time that i’ve seen comments from op on this subject so my response wasn’t just about That Post.

And I don’t think it’s an overreaction at all. Hell, my film student posting isnt solely directed at that person, its directed at like at least three people all of whom i’ve proven objectively wrong about film production things on different occasions. I DO understand their line of work better than they do. Sorry not sorry. Not my fault they didn’t pay attention in class. Like. I DO understand their line of work better- because I’ve invested a ton of time and effort into researching their line of work & researching the actual production of ST & demonstrating exactly how they don’t understand what’s going on (see: people insisting that the bodies turning into adults during nina is “just adult standin doubles for the kids and you should listen to me because im a film student” but not understanding/knowing that all of the kids have hyperrealistic digital doubles and therefore zero need for adult standins.) and hell, even more technical production stuff aside, film students who cant grasp the most basic narrative themes/ideas of st (such as Children Arent Born Evil) should maybe consider a different line of work.

And like also nobody has to care about the henry stuff but to be a film student and COMPLETELY write off looking at an entire section of a show just because you’ve already decided he’s inherently evil? Why are you studying film!!! Why are you studying film if you don’t care about analyzing film & figuring out what goes into it and how it works!!! Why are you going to film school and then coming into my notifs claiming that the camera work/shot choices “arent that deep,” but having zero evidence to back that up???? Why are you studying film if you don’t care about these things?????? Why are you studying film if you cant be assed to look beneath the surface of a piece of media??? And having a film degree/being a film student/“being in this line of work” does not automatically make you correct. Which is my whole point.

Film students are constantly wrong on this website. And it’s because they rely on “well im a film student”/their own Limited Personal Experience as evidence instead of actually looking at the show/analyzing the piece of media/pulling evidence from the show.

And also, considering that I’ve had to explain what the word subtext means and how it’s applied in media to film students on here and how its different from allegory & how we can tell the difference, i feel like i’m not overreacting to say that I understand their line of work better than them when they don’t even seem to understand the most basic storytelling concepts/literary devices & how they’re applied in film. Sorry not sorry. Hell, I’d probably GO to film school if I had access to the funding AND if we werent still in a pandemic right now (i currently live and work very isolated and rurally & still take covid extremely seriously). Which is also part of why it’s frustrating to see people wasting that opportunity because they’re so dead set on Always Being Right Even Though They’re Not Right/Always Needing To Disagree With Me.

I hope that clears things up. It was never just about That One Single Post.

[drdemonprince]

you say that and then say terms such as "adult sexuality" and "inappropriate adult emotional needs" but you want to get rid of the concept of "adulthood" entirely. you seem like you haven't really escaped that line of thinking entirely, which i can't really blame you for. I liked what you said about our shared responsibility, and it reminds me a lot about how women at any age above 18 are still given standards that re-create how they looked at a prepubescent age and that we should still feel responsible to point out the possible ulterior motives of that sorta push of "beauty" it's all extremely interesting what you're saying.

i'm not sure what this is in reference to but yeah i am an inhabitant of my current reality and time and life context and do show the signs of that by using words that refer to commonly held cultural concepts that are, admittedly, really full of holes, such as "adulthood" and "inappropriate" and stuff like that. i really dont aim for perfection especially with language but im happy to kinda probe the issues with these phrases because i agree with you philosophically about them not really making sense.

adult sexuality is for sure not a helpful framing, i cant remember where i said that but ill state on the record here that it isn't a term that really makes sense. people use "adult sexuality" or "healthy adult sexuality" the way they use "consensual" in phrases like "consensual non mongamy" is if to indicate that what they are referring to is the Cool Okay Kind, Dont Worry Guys, and it's all really unnecessary and it's also a handwave. like calling something adult or consensual doesnt ensure that it actually was okay or always is or whatever.

so like, i get your point. people not legally recognized as adults, who have no rights in our current society, also are sexual beings and while this is uncomfortable to grapple with and is used as an excuse to abuse children, i think denying that they are beings with attraction, libidos, questions, interests, sexual habits etc is to their detriment and is just factually incorrect.

inappropriate is trickier. i do think a lot of parents do place wrongheaded expectations onto their kids, emotionally speaking, and idk how to better refer to that other than like inappropriate, badly boundaried, emotionally immature (not my term, using that one because thats how lindsay gibson refers to it etc).

but like, yes, you are absolutely right that calling a thing inappropriate lacks specificity and confers a moral judgement, and when i say a phrase like that, im usually making a deliberate emotional appeal to the reader. when i openly call something inappropriate or wrong i'm implying that reader can see as easily as i can that an expectation was "wrong". im basically inviting them into my point of view about a subjective value judgement. and so to some degree the lack of objectivity in such statement is the point. if that makes sense.

[gayforjuza]

Hi, allosexual/non-ace person here, I come in peace!

I'm not usually one to weigh in on broader topics like sexuality online, since anything I say is bound to be tinged with my subjective experiences more than I'd probably like. I'm also not an expert by any means...

But the recents Asks I saw in your blog made me want to chime in with my 2 cents; just, for the sake of the confused/concerned asexual homies I guess?

The stuff about allosexuals, or the majority of allosexuals, being motivated almost exclusively by sex isn't quite accurate. True, during preteen years (cuz of puberty and HoRmOnEs), allosexual peoples' sex drive start developing alongside their developing bodies. And as they grow into young adults it's very normal for them to explore their sexuality, to varying degrees.

But to say it's their main motivation throughout life? Or even that it's at the forefront of their mind most of the time?? Nah, dawg. A lot of people over-estimate how sexually active even young adults alone are.

(I remember like 4 years ago in one of my Psychology courses, the professor asked students how many sexual partners they think the average male college student desires to have in a year. The average guess of the students of my class was around 8? When actually, according to the series of surveys we were looking at, the vast majority of male college students wanted an average of 1-3 sexual partners in a year.)

Obviously, experiences will vary from person-to-person. But excessive promiscuity? Adultery? Living for sex??? That stuff is not the norm. To say all, or most, allosexual people are like that is (respectfully) some Freudian bullshit.

Hell, even the horniest of us (coughcoughMEcoughcough) ain't got time to be horny all the time! We're normal humans with jobs and hobbies and other stuff to do.

If you feel like you're surrounded by people obsessed with sex, those people are either exaggerating their actual thoughts/experiences (for comedy, toxic gender-normative posturing, etc.), or they happen to be from a group/community where that activity is more frequent than the usual.

And if you feel like all media is overly sexual (when it is not necessary for it to be sexual)--well, yeah, I agree with you. There's a lot of media where sex/sexual content is included where it isn't needed. The Big Business Executive dumbasses make those decisions, but honestly? If they took those parts out, allosexual audiences would not give a fuck. Genuinely.

(And if there were a small majority that complained about not seeing enough nudity or whatever-the-hell in their action movies or something, let's be real: that group would be the toxically-masculine asshole men--who are a dying group--and I don't think they should be associated with the rest of allosexual people.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

UR TRUE! this is more in line with my personal experiences w/ allosexual ppl thank u 4 sending this 😌

also very funny that u said "i come in peace" like i was gonna fucking GET you for not being ace LOLOL allosexual people my behated (joke)

im ofc not an expert either and idk my thoughts rly on this besides just, like i said, that ur experience is more in line with mine

its also i think worth pointing out for any question/discussion like this that 1. saying ur opinions are limited to ur own subjective experience applies to literally everything anyone has ever said and there is no objective truth literally at all and 2. since theres no objective truth there is no difference between the "reality" of the big picture/greater society and "not reality" its just basically luck i think, of who u end up around