#i feel like this is gonna get me hate asks lol

[skzdust]

can i request academic rival! felix × afab reader ?? theyre super competitive ( enemies to lovers) and felix just has to fuck it into reader that he is BETTER

I LOVE this idea! And now I kind of want to turn it into something longer lol

Thanks for the request!!

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You're Better

This is smut. MINORS DNI.

Summary: You and Felix are rivals, but you've been placed on a project together. Felix proposes a challenge to see which of you gets to lead the project.

Pairing: Academic rival!Felix x afab reader

Includes: rivalry, penetrative sex, rivals with feelings, enemies to lovers, unprotected sex (please use condoms and pee after sex!)

Word count: 1.4k

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!! Thank you for reading!!

Requests are OPEN!

Masterlist

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The library study rooms were supposed to stay peaceful and quiet, and when you were working alone or with almost anyone else, they were.

But not with Felix.

“You’re impossible.” You scoffed. “You know, yours doesn’t make sense either.”

You knew the piece of the project he’d put together was brilliant, maybe better than yours, although you’d never admit it. But after he’d torn your piece to shreds, nitpicking every subpar word choice and questionable rhetorical decision, you had some anger towards him.

“It’s great, you know that.” He crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat, wearing a cocky grin. “Just because you’re not as good at this as I am doesn’t mean you have to be bitter.”

“I’m not being bitter. And you are not better than me at this, stop acting all superior.”

“I am better than you.” He laughed, a sound that sent butterflies though your whole body. “I’m gonna get you to admit it one day.”

“Never.” You said firmly.

It was quiet for a moment.

“I have a proposition.” Felix said abruptly.

“Oh?”

“If I can get you to admit I’m better by the time we leave this room, I get complete control over the project. And if you don’t, you get complete control over the project.”

You laughed. “Done.”

He leaned over the table to you. “You’re gonna regret that.”

You grinned. “Make me.”

His hand found yours, his thumb brushing across your knuckles. “I bet I can.”

Your eyes stayed on the motion of his fingers, the sensation of his skin on yours electric. “And what methods do you plan to use?”

His hand stilled. “Can I kiss you?”

You almost fell out of your chair. “Kiss me? I mean, yes, absolutely, please, but you want to kiss me?” You babbled.

“I mean… I’d be lying if I said no.”

“That is the definition of ‘yes’.”

“Smart aleck.”

“Says you.”

In lieu of a response, Felix’s fingers laced with yours, and he pushed you into a kiss.

You hadn’t kissed many people, but you knew this was different. Felix kissed you like he hated you, pushing you, his teeth scraping at your lower lip. He pulled sounds out of you that were, quite frankly, embarrassing, but you didn’t care, lost in him. Your spark of animosity was transforming into a smoldering flame, and you were dry wood, ready to burn.

Except you were wet; you were very wet.

Felix abruptly pulled away from you, and you whined in confusion. “Where are you going?”

He stood up, pulling you up by your hand, and pushed you up against the wall. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.” He whispered in your ear before kissing you again, his body pressing against yours, still holding your hand.

You could feel him growing hard against your leg as he kissed you. His other hand captured your other hand, pinning it to the wall by your head.

“Fuck.” He panted as he pulled away. “This is a bad idea.”

“Yeah.” You whispered back. “But don’t stop.”

“Oh, I’m not gonna stop.” His lips met yours again, and you moaned into his mouth. His hips pushed into you, and you got a little louder, fighting the urge to ask him—beg him, if need be—to fuck you.

His hands found their way down to your waist. “Can I touch you here?”

“Mhm.” You whimpered. “Please.”

“Look at you, begging so pretty.” His hands moved across your lower stomach and back under your shirt.

“God, Felix. Can you go lower?”

“Lower?” His hands cautiously found your hips. You involuntarily pushed into him, and he let out a low moan. “Fuck.”

“More.” You whispered, closing your eyes.

“More?” Felix’s fingers traced patterns on your thighs, and you let your legs open a bit, sliding down on the wall.

“Fuck me.” You whispered, barely audibly.

“You want me to fuck you?” Felix asked softly.

“Yeah.” You opened your eyes, looking into his. “If you’re… I don’t want to push you.”

“God, I’ve wanted to for… since I met you.” He whispered, and was that… affection in his eyes?

“Then do it.” You swallowed. “I really want you to do it.”

Your biggest rival fucking you in a library study room… it was objectively a very bad idea. But you didn’t care. You wanted him.

He looked at you intently. “Okay. I will. But let me know if you want me to stop, and I will, no questions asked.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

He checked that the blinds to the room’s windows were shut and that the door was locked, and walked back over to you, still leaning against the wall.

“Okay, baby, take off your pants, and we’ll start.” His voice was low, dripping with desire.

You couldn’t get them off fast enough.

He let out a low whistle looking at you. “Fuck, baby, you’re so pretty.”

Another thrill went through you. “I’m ready for you, Felix.”

He smirked. “I’ll fuck you if you admit I’m better.”

“Oh, that’s cheating. My pants are already off.”

“We didn’t discuss this when we made our deal, therefore, it’s fair game.”

“Dick.” You muttered, rolling your eyes. “You’re better.”

His smirk grew. “I’ll take it, for now.” He unzipped his own pants and pulled out his cock, already hard. You swallowed, eyes glued to it.

He spread your legs a little wider, lining up with your entrance. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” You breathed.

He slowly pushed into you. It felt like the breath was pushed from your lungs with each motion of his hips. The stretch was slightly painful, but the pleasure was enough that you didn’t even care.

Once he was fully inside you, Felix groaned. “Fuck, baby, you’re so tight. So good.” He pushed you a bit tighter against the wall and picked up your legs, wrapping them around his waist.

“Godddddd.” You drew out the sound, feeling him move inside you as you as he adjusted your position. “Fuck me, Felix.”

“Admit I’m better, like you mean it this time.”

“Fuck you.” You rolled your eyes.

Felix thrust into you harshly, and your eyes rolled back as you let out a noise. “Like I said, like you mean it.”

“You’re better,” You moaned, and he began to fuck you, slowly.

“More.”

“You’re the better student, you’re smarter than me, you’re gonna fuck me dumb, Felix.”

He picked up the pace as you spoke, so you kept talking, trying to provoke him into going faster and faster.

“You’re better, you’re better, you’re fucking all the thoughts out of my head, Felix, you feel so good inside me,” You panted. “Fuck, Felix, keep going.”

“That’s it, baby, I’m gonna do exactly that, I’m gonna fuck all the thoughts out of that pretty head.” He suddenly kissed you with the same harshness with which he fucked you. As he pulled away, he murmured against your lips, “I’d fuck the words outta your mouth, too, if you’ll let me.”

You moaned. “Fuck. Next time.”

“Next time?”

“Next time.”

“Fuck, baby.” He whispered, fucking you faster. “Maybe I should fuck you against the window, make you scream that I’m better. Make sure everyone hears, everyone knows.”

“You have some kind of god complex.”

“Yep.”

He kept fucking you and you kept mumbling his praises so he’d keep going quickly, and it didn’t take long for you to know you were approaching your climax.

“Felix, I’m gonna come.” You panted.

His hips stuttered. “Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come, too.”

You drew closer and closer to the cliff’s edge, and as he pushed up into you in a hard thrust, you fell over, your eyelids fluttering as you came.

And then you were full, you were so full, as Felix came, too, grunting as he kept himself to the hilt inside you.

A few moments later, he lowered your legs to the floor and gently pulled out. Your knees buckled almost immediately, and he caught you, helping you to one of the chairs in the room.

“God, Felix, that was… good.” You pushed your hair out of your flushed face, looking up at him.

“You admitted it.” He smiled, zipping up his pants. “That I’m better.”

“Was that all it meant to you?” You grinned, mostly joking.

“No.” He said softly.

“Oh.” You tilted your head.

He suddenly looked away. “Y/n… do you want to go on a date?”

“A date?” Your smile softened. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Okay.” He looked back at you. “But I still get to be in charge of the project.”

You sighed. “We did make a deal.”

[epiphainie]

On the topic of things you enjoy talking about, I’d love to hear more of what you love about bucktommy 🥲

Oh anon, so sorry for putting this one off for almost a week, please don't hate me. It's just everything lol, so this is gonna be a messy answer.

I feel like I talked about every aspect of why I love BuckTommy a lot from their chemistry to the potential they have to build on their S7 foundation. When it comes to what we've seen in-story, I adore how their energies match when it comes to playfulness/flirtiness, when it comes to being a bitch and a brat, and especially when it comes to being open and vulnerable with each other. I LOVE that Buck stumbled a bit at the beginning but knew pursuing this with Tommy was what he wanted and asked him for a second chance. I equally adore how Tommy gives the same energy of putting in effort, showing up for him, and proactively wanting Buck. I also love how attentive Tommy has been with picking up on Buck's feelings from realizing he felt excluded in 7x04, recognizing he was flirting with him (a big one lol), recognizing he was uncomfortable with people watching them on their date, realizing how sad he was over the prospect of him not being able to show up at the wedding, and obviously him checking after Bobby's heart attack. Talking about that, I love that so many of their interactions have Tommy making sure Buck is sure/okay, and when Buck says he is, Tommy trusts him on that. Even after initially thinking Buck wasn't ready after their first date, once Buck comes back, he trusts in his conviction. I genuinely hope Tommy trusting Buck to know what he feels/thinks is a thread they continue with because I want Buck to be treated like an adult in his relationships. And I think my last - greatest - favorite thing is seeing how flustered and giddy Buck has been with Tommy. Buck is my favorite character and seeing him actually be so excited for a relationship is the one thing I wanted since the beginning of time and they delivered soooo perfectly on that aspect with Tommy. Like, he's SMITTEN with that guy and he gets the same energy back, how could I not love them?

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Literally, I'm not gonna tell you what I was doing when I though of this 🫣. But uh, my god, dude. Stick a fork in me cuz I'm super, super done.

C/W ::: Just like, gross lovey dovey shit. Fingering, teasing, um, I don't even think this has language. So yeah. If you hate romantic stuff, mushy stuff, this is not for you.

WC ::: 646

Song Rec

Kafka laid down to your right, next to you on your bed. He thinks it's a lot like you: Warm, soft, and he never wants to leave.

And for the last 45 minutes, he's been kissing your neck so slowly and gently that you feel like you're either going to cum from the tension that has been racking your body or crawl out of your skin.

His right hand has been drawing tiny circles on your belly. His thumb rubs the parts of you that you wished he'd never notice. Never pay attention to.

Still kissing you, he slips his hand just below the elastic on your probably too-casual-for-the-occasion panties. He just looks down at you, locking eyes, and smiles that loving smile that he gives you when he knows something you're not quite privy to.

Your brows furrow, hips jutting upward as a nearly inaudible whine slips from your throat.

But his superhuman hearing caught that and the way your heartbeat increased dramatically as he sought out your wetness. His fingers danced further down with every intention of filling you. But at the last second, he withdrew his destination.

He put his middle finger into your mouth and tipped his chin up at you, silently reminding you that you know exactly what to do right now.

You obliged and let it slip passed your lips, sucking him in. You swirled your tongue around him, tasting yourself. Eyes rolling uncontrollably at how utterly sexy this man is right now and always.

Kafka had a way of making you feel like you were the only thing he needed in this world. The way his eyes dilated as you sucked on him made you feel like the only thing in his world his sights were set on.

His voice was barely a whisper as he asked, "Is this what you want? Is this what you need?"

He knew the answer already, but he loved hearing you say it. You wanted him. You needed him. You were his. He was yours. And right now, all you could focus on was him making you cum with his fingers, his mouth, his dick, or any combination thereof.

And so, he put his middle finger back in your mouth and took his index finger back down to your pussy. He spread your wetness over your clit. Your breath hitching in your throat as you felt his touch getting heavier.

He pressed down on it with a gentle but firm touch, and you melted into his embrace. The feeling of his hands on your body and his breath on your neck made you feel like you were floating.

Your orgasm was coming on quick. You couldn't help but wrap your arms around him and grip onto him like he was the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.

With every kiss and stroke, he carried you closer to the edge. Your hips bucked as you felt the pressure building even more inside of you.

Your moans grew louder and louder until finally, you couldn't hold back any longer. You came, cursing any deities that were within range of hearing you. And, finally, a sigh. You were left feeling like your body was going to explode from the sheer pleasure of it all.

Kafka held you through it all, his fingers never leaving your clit, until you'd completely released every ounce of energy he'd made your body stockpile.

He held you close and kissed your forehead gently. "You're so … I love you so much."

You knew he meant it. You knew he loved you more than anything else in this world. You just wished you knew why. Why did he choose you? How did you end up with someone who was so perfect for you?

As he lay next to you, Kafka gently nibbled your earlobe and whispered, "I'm never letting go."

@supersecretsaga @kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo

@witchy-scribblings (I hope it's ok to tag you?? I figured if you love him as much as I do you want to see everything ever written for him lol. Let me know if you don't want to be tagged and I'll cease and desist! =) )

@darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @bakubunny

@viburnt @reiners-milkbiddies @southside-otaku

@trevengersprincess (Sun-Ray? Do you want to be tagged in this stuff? Lmk! =) <3)

[shakespearean-dream]

i would adore ur ted ideas he is so interesting 2 me!!!!!!

ask and you shall receive!!!!

ted. teddigan. theodoreigan my boy. i have so many mixed feelings about u💔

this drawing was a pain in the ASS to make for some reason?? my first go at him was way too close to canon for my liking so i threw myself out there n got to a place i liked thankfully, plus halfway through i forgot how to draw hands and almost cried (joking) cause i thought i had them down at this point!!!!— but trust me, even if you have 9 years of art experience (like me unfortunately. someone take me out i’ve had a good life) ur gonna forget the basics sometimes. warm yourself up and try again cause i did and i eventually remembered 😭😭😭

doing these character studies and drawings have seriously improved my way and process of drawing faces which is so nice 🥲 i think i just need to start looking at the bigger picture again so i don’t forget how to draw everything else. like hands. or full bodies. foreshadowing ;)

i wanted my ted to look just a wee bit unsettling because my general consensus of him is that he is totally fucked in the head, lmfao. born a nepotism baby who ended up scamming people more for fun than for actual cash, horribly sexist but dependent on women to validate him, paranoid as all get out, selfish and self centered as all get out, just his canon personality’s all in one and turned up a notch. 🥲

i don’t think he’s totally beyond redemption, especially because he’s been cooped up with ellen, who is a highly decorated in the engineering field black woman, benny who’s gay and gorr “FREEDOM FIGHTIN’ LIBERAL🇺🇸🦅🦅🔥🔥” ister for 109 years. in that time he’s definitely slipped up and they’ve definitely corrected him (along with nimdok too LOL). i think with some intensive therapy, a shower and a trip to the tolerance museum (south park reference) he’ll be a little better.

i’m a mild ted/AM shipper (as seen in the bottom right hand corner) but more in the “ooohehheh they’re flirting!!… oh no. oh this is not going to end well. this is definitely a toxic relationship” way and less the “awh cute maybe they can have mutual redemption arcs!!!” way because i love seeing gay men suffer romantically (don’t cancel me i am a bisexual man suffering romantically i swear😭)

i’m not too partial to any other ships honestly, ted/ellen makes me nauseous (just cause of the way ted talks about/treats her in the franchise, no hate to my tellen shippers i promise) and i can only see gorrister with his wife 🥲 with benny and nimdok i have no clue if either of them rlly have romantic interests but im not a fan of them with anybody so erm… i do love the whole groups found family vibes though :”””] they’re all cute together and the mutual suffering but all the while growth is comforting to me

i think that’s about all my thoughts!!! another thank you for the support on this blog recently i love yall sm. i’ll eventually post on my transformers blog but i am STILL SCARED because robots are hard to draw. stay tuned for it though. 💀

thank you for reading if you did!!! let me know which of the guys yall want me to do next; benny, AM and nimdok are left on the chopping block. ❤️

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[himbos-hotline]

Aesthetic ask for you 🤗 I associate you with a nice, cool breeze. I always find your posts and interactions with you do refreshing and nice. It’s a nice breather and a reminder of why I like the Wrestle-Tumbr community. 💋

AHHHH omg this ask has been living in my head rentfree!! This is like the softest message ive ever gotten and i kinda lowkey teared up when I first got it! I dont get why people are always so like stubborn in the wrestling fandom like those who are always obsessed and addicted to finding and learning about drama and causing arguments make no sense to me. I think people forget that we are watching wrestling to have fun, to hang out with one another and enjoy things. We shouldnt have to listen to stupid arguments and shit about whose better or whatever drama is happening backstage, what happens happens and it shouldnt really impact what we do and how we have fun. Ive seen people put out posts regarding fans of the elite/punk/any other wrestler hoping that they die or "get better taste" because they find someone enjoybable. Not everyone is gonna like what everyone else does, thats why fandom is a great place cuz everyone else has different opinions and feels and vibes about everything but as soon as the fandom starts attacking people for said opinions/facts/vibes/anything else.

Like yes theres certain wrestlers I dont support or like that tumblr ADORES but im not going out of my way to attack and upset people for having a different opinion. Thats not what we're meant to be doing, thats not having a conversation thats just being a wanker. I personally dont understand people who send hate anons at all because honestly, is that all you can do? you see someone happy over something you dont like and you wanna just...cause that person pain for enjoying something different? Why is that your progative? Why is that why you find fun?

Im just trying to vibe and if I see a post or a ship or something I dont personally enjoy- I simply, scroll past it, its not hurting me. If it is hurting me, I block the tag and I simply carry on with my day. I dont expect people to enjoy everything I like. But when people start expecting and setting out what feels like rules for fandoms or expectations, it takes the fun out of existing.

im sorry you got like a multiparagraph rant on such a sweet ask but i never understand the utter hatrid that people carry in their souls. The world is a dark place and you want to push more darkness into someones heart? Are you jealous that their candle of joy is burning when yours is smoldering? Joy is something fragile and fleeting online nowadays, dont be the cunt that shatters it.

[lesbiankordian]

aromantic thoughts

in one book about transness i read, the author said that even if you go through transition, even if you accomplish everything trans related you wanted, the feeling, the years, of sadness and alienation just don't go away and are always somewhere deep inside you. you may still compare yourself to cis people and still not feel enough. even if transphobia magically evaporated, your transness wouldn't - even if you had a perfect life with no transphobic incidents.

and it's exactly the same with aromanticism. i generally feel good. but there are days where i just can't understand why i can't feel the same way as other people do. why i can't understand that one (supposed to be universal) beautiful poem about love. why most people's values are a bit different than mine. why i can't be truly happy in a queer club, because there are people in love everywhere and my friend's talking to me about her love problem with a guy and the people next to me are all flirting with each other and a girl's hitting on me but i'm afraid bc she'll probably stop when i say "hey, i don't wanna go on a date. ever. but we can kiss if you want". (don't even know if i actually like doing that).

many times i feel like that while talking about friends. life. attitude, not necessarily towards relationship things. it doesn't have to be anything romantic. bc romance as a norm goes so deep you're reminded everyday you're different, and that your difference - if you show it to others - is a rather bad thing in their morality spectrum. everytime i think about that i wonder if i'm not confusing aromanticism with sth different, but i do think aromanticism falls under that category too.

the author of the book i mentioned said that when she first realized she was trans, she was terrified of the thought that was how her life was gonna look like - after all those awful years, it'd only go downhill (realization, transition process etc), this time bc of her own actions. similarly, i know the way i live now is the best for me (probably). but i do that deliberately. i could stop anytime and try to go against myself, caring for someone the way my friends seem to be able to. i long for that, simultaneously knowing i wouldn't last a minute.

[bunnihearted]

umm

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[binders-and-beanies]

.

[widevibratobitch]

.

[minglana]

agh fuck i need to apply to an internship😭

[daz4i]

how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend

[cq-studios]

20, 15 and 3 please :3

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

The fandom has helped me appreciate so many characters way more than I did initially but I’ll have to say the most drastic is Kairi. 100% Kairi.

Like when I got into KH I kinda just branded her as bland anime girl love interest with nothing going for her (which is a mindset I’ve been working hard to get out of and I’m confident I’ve made progress in) but the fandom actually helped me see there was more to her than that. And I know in a lot of situations it ends up being the opposite but learning about the evidence for and shipping Soriku (specifically Violet Howler and Tennelle’s videos) actually helped me understand and like her more. Taking her out and away from this ‘fated’ romance with Sora for a bit actually helped me see the traits that I otherwise would have dismissed. Because her not wanting Sora to leave her behind (because she’s in love with him) became her not wanting Sora to leave her behind (because she’s afraid of change, because she’s scared he’s going to drift away like Riku did, because she doesn’t want to become an afterthought) and other stuff that I could probably write more about if I wasn’t half asleep rn lol

I think part of the issue is that I have a sort of negative knee jerk to straight romantics relationships because they’re so often poorly written or I just don’t connect to them because I’m Ace/Aro and I already have a hard time connecting to any romance in general (queer stuff is easier for me to connect to because it’s representation and it feels like a victory when it happens) and that leads me to just sort of write off both characters who are involved as boring to me (for a long time I wasn’t really a huge fan of Sora either, which feels insane to say now lol).

Sora was saved a bit faster just because of his sheer amount of screen time and focus. I hope Kairi will get a chance to shine in a future game, and that opinion is mostly because the fandom helped shine a light on the things I missed that make her a character.

15. the character that always makes you smile

See it’d be cheating to say all of the NULs (like, man, I love those guys so much, but y’all know, you’re here) so I’ll switch it up today and say Xion. I love her so much. And I mean, I think literally in my last post I was gushing about her, but you know sometimes I just have to talk about Xion. I feel like I don’t talk about Xion enough. Like, she always makes me so happy (except when everything goes wrong at the end of Days then she makes me sad, so very sad but in a good way lol).

She and Roxas were my favourites before KHUX came in with the steel chair, and while I still like Roxas, Xion was the one who’s still up there with the NULs despite it all as a comfort character. Love her, wish I had smart things to say about her lol

20. your very first fandom!

Littlest Pet Shop and/or Pokémon. I honestly do not remember… I was like 3 or 4, I think.

I used to watch so many LPS YouTube skits and series and just scroll on Google for hours looking at Pokémon fanart. I avidly collected (and still collect) both things. I probably shouldn’t have been able to just have free rein watching/looking at all that at that age, but my parents didn’t really know how to parent yet (I’m their oldest kid lol).

Probably watched some Elsa-gate level stuff at some point because I remember my mom telling me not to watch any LPS skits that were made by men???

Also y’all remember Pikachu X Ketchup? I think about Pikachu X Ketchup every day…

[francy-sketches]

Why do people who enjoy spam liking always act so high and mighty about it ‘well I like it when someone likes all 200 of my posts bc it means they love and cherish my creations, I’m sorry you’re a cold hearted grinch and don’t have any appreciation for the common people who love your work, maybe if you stopped being such a snob 🙄’ ok bitch good for you?? I just like reading people’s comments/tags on my art and having a lot of individual like notifications clogs it up so it gets a little annoying that’s all. If spam liking makes you feel good that’s great I’m happy for you but it’s just a matter of personal preference it doesn’t make either of us morally superior lol get off your high horse

[girlwithfish]

like how do u tell someone u dont feel theyre putting in much effort to date u and they dont make u feel cared for or wanted or special or like barely. idk