#i feel so thoroughly useless to them and i feel like they should/will give me up as a friend if i’m not useful

[transmechanicus]

Brb crying on this friday night

[wreckingtickles]

"FUUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHCK!!!"

"That hurt when you jumped and then when you landed on my arms!"

Bakugo was writhing on his own bed, the bedsheet all crumpled from his continuous squirming; but no matter how much he tried, he wasn't able to pull his feet out of Kirishima's iron grasp.

"Common decency would have required you to take off your shoes, like Midoriya and Todoroki!" complained the redhead as he kept furiously scrubbing Bakugo's bare soles with the grooming glvoes he'd borrowed from Koda, the myriad of plastic nubs unlike anything Bakugo had ever felt.

He shot up to a sitting position, as if trying to headbutt Kirishima, who had his back to him, but he was too far, and with his wrists tied together behind his back with his own tie, there was precious little he could do except laugh his head off; or maybe it was an attempt to get closer to appeal to him, as if reducing the distance would have inspired more pity in his tormentor.

"KIHIHIHIRHIHSHIHHIHAHAHAHAHHAMMAMAMAMAMAAA!!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHSEE!!! GHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHA!!!"

Protests and threats had been a thing for the first 10 minutes, when Kirishima was using his fingers to scribble all over Bakugo's soles, or to pull his big toes back to get at the tender flesh under and between his toes.

The two forks had resulted in bargaining, in Bakugo promising that no retaliation would be unleashed if Kirishima stopped at that moment.

"Oh, now you call me by my name? If this is what it takes, maybe it should be a recurring thing."

And the grooming gloves, those had finally led to pleading.

Kirishima focused his frenzied scrubbing on the upper half of Bakugo's feet, hitting the sensitive balls and the base of his toes.

A jolt ran through the crumpled body of the hysterical, defeated blond, who fell back on the covers, howling at the ceiling.

"GHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SHHIHIAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! PLEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSE!!!"

Kirishima was completely relentless. "Although now I see why you didn't take off your shoes. You might have fallen over laughing if we just brushed your feet, and cost us the battle."

He wasn't sure if the guffawing blond could hear him, but he'd made his demands clear from the start: he wanted an apology. And he wouldn't stop until he got one.

So he briefly loosened his hold so he could grab both of Bakugo's feet, his palms on the tops, and rubbed the nubs on his thumbs right into the balls.

Bakugo screeched as a new torrent of ticklish tears poured out of his eyes, staining the covers just like the other useless tears before them.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!"

"Right in your weak spot, uh?" remarked Kirishima, finding it increasingly difficult to keep up his angry tone. He rubbed all over the trapped balls with his thumbs, not even giving Bakugo a chance to speak.

The blond had to claw through the overwhelming ticklish response to finally scream a broken "HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIIHH!!! IHAHAHAHAHM SOOOOOHOHOHAHAHAHHAHAHAHARRYYYYY!!!!! SOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Kirishima went on rubbing Bakugo's soles for a few more seconds before finally pulling his hands back.

"What did you say?" he asked as Bakugo breathed in for dear life.

As desperate as he was for air, the blond knew that any delay would have caused the tickling to resume. "I'm s-sohorry..."

"Sorry for what?" asked Kirishima as he let his thumb graze the hyper-ticklish ball of Bakugo's left foot again, instantly causing the blond to spasm with terror.

"F! Fohor nohot... takihing my... shoes off," he finally said, thoroughly beaten.

"Geez, was that so hard?" asked Kirishima as he began to remove the grooming gloves, without ever letting go of Bakugo's ankles.

The blond closed his eyes as he panted, blinking away the last tears, too overstimulated to feel the slightest hint of shame at having been forced to aplogize, and by tickling of all things.

He forced himself to open his eyes as he felt Kirishima shift at the foot of the bed.

His thumping heartbeat picked up again when he noticed the redhead was holding two hairbrushes.

"W-WAIT!!" he begged, his voice filled with desperation. "I-I apologized!!"

"You did." Kirishima nodded. "And now for your punishment."

He scrubbed the two hairbrushes into Bakugo's soles, filling the overwhelmed blond with a new surge of unbearable ticklishness.

"..........................................AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHACK!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOHOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!!"

The entire bed shook with the sheer energy of Bakugo's thrashing; but Kirishima wasn't going anywhere.

"Thirty minutes should make the lesson stick," added the redhead before focusing once again on the balls of Bakugo's feet.

---

Still on a break, but had an idea for a short story I just needed to get out.

[nutcasewithaknife]

for the WIP game: Get loved, idiot!

Oh this is the oldest and least-close-to-finishing fic of them all! In short, it's the angsty post-canon I started writing like 2 days after finishing the show. The original premise is that meeting at the beach, difang find Li Lianhua's white cape around a stranger's corpse washed up on the beach. They set off along the coast looking for Li Lianhua, and Fang Duobing is the one who's actually searching for a living man. Di Feisheng is already mourning Li Xiangyi, but he can't bring himself to dissuade Fang Duobing from looking. So instead he's going to make sure Fang Duobing doesn't run himself any more ragged than he already has. But then they do end up finding Li Lianhua, miraculously alive yet awfully close to death, and do everything they can to heal him. Things get very very sad before they get a bit better.

The point of it was to be a sort of character introspection of all three of them, especially of Li Lianhua, and see how they deal with the inevitable and painful emotional conflict of Li Lianhua's decision to leave vs. Difang's stubbornness about saving him. It needs some massive editing because my understanding of each character has changed a lot from those first few weeks, and I keep hopping between a whole bunch of endings for it ;-;

A (long) difang snippet from it:

By the fifth day of their journey, Fang Duobing figured out that Di Feisheng was no longer searching for Li Lianhua, but mourning him. 

That stung too, at first. Every day they searched for Li Lianhua, and Fang Duobing wanted to ask why he was still looking if he was already mourning. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He watched Di Feisheng search thoroughly, even if he was no longer expecting anything to come of it. He watched him put just as much effort into looking after the two of them. 

That night, like the ones before, Fang Duobing couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t alone; Di Feisheng always simply lay in bed all night, meditating, sleeping fitfully, or just awake. Fang Duobing couldn’t stomach it. He would sit outside till dawn instead, and breathe in as much air as he could so it wouldn’t feel so awfully suffocating. 

That night, unlike any other night before, Di Feisheng stopped him before he could step out.

“We should rest well,” he said. 

“It’s pointless to try,” Fang Duobing answered.

“We should try anyway.” 

Cruelty rose easily to Fang Duobing’s tongue when he was stretched thin. Easy for you to say, he wanted to tell him. You’ve given up and left me alone. Instead, he walked over to Di Feisheng’s bed and said, “Alright.”

He looked up for only a moment before shifting further in, lifting a corner of his blanket. Fang Duobing got in. They lay facing each other, and he was determined to show Di Feisheng how useless it was to try. He didn’t bother hiding any of the listlessness or the despair that crept into his heart stronger every night. 

It was incredible, how alone he suddenly felt once more, even with Di Feisheng right there. An accusation rose to his lips again, and stalled, again. Wasn’t Di Feisheng closer to Li Lianhua? Hadn’t they known each other longer? Weren’t they excellent at leaving him out and scheming and gossipping together? Why would he give up so easily, then?

“Tell me about him.” The words stumbled out of Fang Duobing without much thought. “The Li Xiangyi you knew.”

Di Feisheng stared for a moment, then closed his eyes. His throat bobbed on a swallow. “It’s late.” 

“Tell me. What was it like a decade ago?” In answer, Di Feisheng shifted, making to turn over, turn his back to him. How dare he. Fang Duobing grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back around. “Tell me.”

“It’s pointless,” Di Feisheng snapped, glaring properly for the first time in days. “Do you think I knew him any better? If you want more of him to miss, I have nothing.” It pricked him sharp and hard, for some reason. That wasn’t it at all, though. He hadn’t asked about Li Lianhua. He had plenty to miss anyways. What he wanted…

“I’m asking about you,” Fang Duobing said, and watched the anger switch to nonplussed silence. “We’re here together, aren’t we? Don’t I have the right to ask you who you’re here for?”

For a long time, neither spoke. Fang Duobing wanted to give up on it, he was so exhausted. But somehow it was even more exhausting to wonder why Di Feisheng was like this. To wonder how he was hurt. It was hard to do this, hard to find comfort with and care for someone he didn’t yet understand.

“Tell me something,” Fang Duobing breathed. “Anything.”

Di Feisheng looked away and down, lashes long and dark against his face. Slowly, he turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling instead. “Before the battle at Donghai, I lost to him. Twice. It was a close match each time, but he won.”

“Donghai wasn’t your first battle?”

The corner of Di Feisheng’s mouth turned up, almost a smile. “Nobody else knew. It would’ve made a mess of things, with us being the heads of opposing sects.”

“But you had to have your battle, didn’t you?” Fang Duobing almost smiled too, at the thought of it these two legendary men, as young as him and sneaking out for clandestine battles with the one who was supposed to be their biggest foe. “You haven’t changed one bit.”

“No,” he said, and Fang Duobing wasn’t sure if that was an agreement or not. Di Feisheng turned his head and looked at him properly again. It wasn’t a look Fang Duobing was used to seeing, even if it felt familiar. Suspicion? Curiosity? 

“What do you want?” Di Feisheng asked him in a low voice, and Fang Duobing immediately knew. This was the sort of look A-Fei wore while they’d searched for Li Lianhua. Nothing as distant as suspicion or curiosity, it was just that he was worried for Fang Duobing.

For the first time in days, Fang Duobing felt the sting of tears behind his eyes. He shut them and curled into himself. A few seconds later, an arm slipped slowly and steadily around his shoulders. It was embarrassingly easy to give in. He shuffled closer and clung back, hiding his face in his collar and taking comfort in the steady beat of his heart. He was not alone. He was not alone. Li Lianhua had left them to each other, after all. 

Neither of them slept. But they stayed like that, together, till the break of dawn. It was easier to breathe here too, easier than it was alone in the open night. It didn’t matter if Di Feisheng had no hope left; Fang Duobing could have enough of it for both of them. And if he ever ran out… he had someone to go back to, now.

By the end of the first week, he forgave Di Feisheng for mourning so soon.

[xsaiya]

"everything's alright."

-tags: comforting! obanai x vitiligo! insecure! reader, angst fluff (mostly angst), hugs, re-assurance, suicidal thoughts (reader), mentions of sh, traumatizing flashback, reader has permanent scars on their face, platonic sanemi catches you trying to harm yourself, reader is known as the emotion hashira, daydreaming. (warning for triggers!)

-future work: uppermoon hc's + muzan (I PROMISE <3)

-plot: iguru had found you saying some bad shit abt yourself so he went to go talk with and comfort you. <3

-a/n: pls do not think bad abt yourself, or harm yourself. your perfect the way you are, there's no need to feel like shit abt yourself. <3 (pls do not steal my work as it is based on my own life)

-recommended song: cigarettes out the window - tv girl

life was hard, hard as fuck. you felt like everybody around your atmosphere hated you and wishes you'd just, well, die. thoughts ran through your head as you were balled up in a corner, grabbing fistful sizes of hair on the sides of your head, crying and sobbing, muttering bad shit abt yourself, like 'does he hate me? does he want me to die? should i even be alive right now?'. those thoughts ran through your head every single day and second, just no body noticed.

note being a hashira, that shit just adds another difficulty to your already fucked up life. your mind also had racing thoughts of your past, and what those bastards did.

(FLASHBACK STARTS NOW!)

huddled up in a corner while gripping the sides of your head, crying & trembling in fear as the tall, abusive figure stood right in front of you while kicking and hitting your already abused body. the man, also known as your dad, kept yelling things in your ears like 'your not my daughter! my daughter isn't a useless, annoying, ugly ass bitch!' as he continued to abuse you over and over again. and all you could do was tremble and cry in fear.

(FLASHBACK ENDS NOW!)

you just dug your head into your legs as you cried and cried, you had nobody, nobody at all, except for one person, the love of your life, obanai. he genuinely cared about you, checked to see if you were eating enough, drinking enough water, sleeping enough. all he did was worry & care abt you, which made you feel guilty, why did he care so much about you? aren't you supposed to be a worthless toy to throw around? not in his eyes.

but, from the corner of your eyes, you saw a blade, you just stared at it for continuous minutes and seconds before thoughts ran through your head. your heart told you 'don't do it, you'll regret it!' while your brain just said 'do it, fuck up your wrists, your worthless anyways.'

you reached out for the blade, grabbed it with a harsh grip, and pointed its sharp tip to your wrist while smiling and crying, still looking down. but before you could even think about doing such an act towards yourself, someone harshly grabbed your wrist, and threw the blade away from your intense grip.

"don't fucking do that shit." said sanemi, he was genuinely worried that you'd do such an act towards yourself if he didn't arrive in time.

"i-" you just stared at him, as if a staring contest occurred, but no, he was giving you that intense look of 'tell someone, talk to someone, get help.'

"you gotta get some help, yk what? i'm telling iguru, you need to get some help." those words replayed in your mind as if it were a track tape, you just sat on a couch near you, waiting for them to return, and they eventually did.

sanemi returned with a worried as fuck obanai. obanai rushed towards you, grabbed your wrist and inspected it thoroughly, asking questions, his anxiety boosted right through heaven's gates as he looked at you with a look of so much love & worry. this just made you cry, cried in appreciation & sadness, you actually for once felt like you could let it all loose around someone.

"hey, hey. it's alright, let it all out love," he hugged you so so tight

you sobbed and sobbed for hours and all he did was mutter sweet re-assurances in your ear as you berried your crying face into his welcoming shoulder.

"..everything's alright."

[mirikitakato]

[TRANSLATION] OWEN 4TH ANNIVERSARY SSR CARD STORY “TOGETHER IN A WORLD ADRIFT” AND CARD EPISODE “OWEN AND THE DOOR OF DAYS BYGONE…”

Owen, I feel like you can't stop mentioning Cain in everything you say lol I love it though

Characters: Owen, Akira (mentioning Cain)

Episode 1: A Sweet and Salty Moment.

Owen: Ha. It's been quite a while since I last had such a dull mission...

Owen: It's not merely a bit dull; it's being exaggerated to an extreme extent. You can just ignore it, you know?

The mission assigned to the Northern wizards that day was a result of the Great Calamity's influence, leading to a house cat turning aggressive.

Akira: It was utter chaos.

Owen helped a bunch by talking to the cat and calming it down.

Owen: Those guys are useless, I have no choice but to talk to it.

Owen: Well...the twins tried their best to act like super cute kids, but they were thoroughly disliked, Mithra and Bradley even got threatened by the cat. That was genuinely amusing and fun to watch.

Akira: Ahaha...Once the mission was over, everyone immediately disbanded.

Akira: I wished we could have gone to the shop together. You all came all the way here, but I couldn't offer anything as an apology. I'm truly sorry.

Owen: Doesn't matter. Besides, you don't get rewarded for being the first to run away.

Owen: Instead of that, don't you think you owe me for this mission? Take me to that store quickly.

Akira: Of course! Let me treat you as a token of appreciation.

Akira: That café is recommended by Cain. The decor is very stylish, and the atmosphere is great.

Owen: Heh...Is there a sweet treat that looks like someone's brain has melted and blended into a gooey, sugary snack?

Akira: Pr-probably...? The menu of that shop is very rich, and their most famous item is the baked sea salt cake.

Owen: Salt…? Cake with salt?

Akira: Yes! The salty-sweet combination is addictive.

Akira: You should give it a try...It should be nearby, I'll lead the way.

Owen: Hey... we've been walking for quite a while. Are we there yet?

Akira: Huh? That's odd...

Ten more minutes passed as we continued our search, but the desired café with its blue roof and round sign remained elusive.

Akira: With its blue roof and round sign, it should be easily recognizable...

Owen: ....

Episode 2: A Sweet and Salty Moment.

Akira: Owen, sorry for making you wander around like this. Are you tired...?

Owen: ...Not really.

I thought he'd be in a bad mood since I got him lost, but surprisingly, he wasn't unhappy, which confused me.

Owen: But, I'm thirsty. So, just continue looking for that store alone. Call me if you find it.

Akira: Eh? Ah, Owen!

Owen: Blue roof and round sign…

Owen: (I guess it's this one…)

Owen: ....

Owen: (I can see them clearly from the window seat. That person is still searching for this store in a daze.)

Owen: Amusing. Sir Sage doesn't have a clue that a camouflage spell has been cast on them, and they're still wandering around the same place over and over...

Owen: Haha... Let's just sit back and enjoy the spectacle for a bit.

Owen: (Although they occasionally gets angry, that person is surprisingly tough and won’t break easily. A very good toy indeed.)

Owen: ...Now you mention it, they said the sea salt cake in this store was delicious.

Owen: (Salty cake, but I doubt it's yummy...)

Owen:....

Owen: Oh well, just one bite.

Akira: This path isn't right either...ugh, so confusing.

I tilted my head in confusion and looked at the map in my hand. Still couldn't find the destination, I sighed countless times.

Akira: (It feels like I have been wandering in the same place since the beginning. I don’t even know where Owen went...)

While thinking this, I looked around again and turned the corner of a certain building, then...

Akira: Ah.........I found it!

A store with a blue roof and a round sign. The exquisite and lovely decoration is exactly the same as when I visited before.

Akira: Owen, Owen. I found the shop!

Akira: (He said to call him if I find it. Guess he didn’t go far...)

Akira: Ah...

Seated by the window in the café, Owen rested his chin on his hands, casting a look as if he was watching a show.

A sense of déjà vu washed over me; it felt like I had witnessed this scene before.

Episode 3: A Sweet and Salty Moment.

Akira: Owen!

Except for Owen, who was sitting alone by the window, there were no other customers in the shop. He slowly blinked his different-colored pupils, before casually directing his gaze toward me.

Akira: Great, you got here first. I have no idea why I've been lost for so long...

Owen: I know. I have been watching.

Akira: Eh? Have you been watching me? Since when…?

Owen: Right from the beginning, I used a camouflage spell on you to prevent you from seeing the shop and made you roam in circles, all while observing your bewildered expression.

Akira: So that's why!? When did you cast that kind of magic...?

Owen: Who knows. Thanks to this, I can see your embarrassed and stupid look.

I sighed, wiped sweat off my forehead, and saw Owen happily lift the corners of his mouth. His eyes, concealing their true meaning, formed a curve. It brought back the familiar sensation from when our eyes met outside the store.

Akira: (Speaking of which, when I first met Owen, I was searching for him too... I glanced up, and there he was, staring at me in the same way.)

Akira: (Gazing into those different-colored eyes that seemingly smiling, left a profound impression...)

Remembering the purple sunset on the castle balcony and the enchantingly eerie purple clouds from our initial conversation, I suddenly felt nostalgic.

Akira: (Reminiscing about our first encounter and now sharing afternoon tea like this...it makes me so happy...)

Owen: What's wrong with you? Why are you still laughing when I've obviously made you walk around in vain?

Akira: Ah, no! It's nothing...Oh, Owen. Is this the salty cake?

There sat a small round cake in front of Owen, with some of its white cream already devoured.

Akira: You ordered it! How do you like it? In my world, this kind of dessert is quite popular.

Owen: Yeah. A salty cake, I don't know how to describe it...

Lifting up his chin, Owen thrust the fork into the cake in one swift motion. He then slowly brought the forked piece to his mouth.

Owen: ...But it's not bad.

Licking the cream from the corner of his mouth with the tip of his tongue, Owen tilted his head slightly and shook his fork.

Akira: (Although there are times he is inconsistent and difficult to get along with, but I can feel that we are getting closer little by little.)

Akira: (It would be great if I could share more and more things with Owen like this.)

Owen: Huh?

Owen slowly raised his eyelids. Then, with a somewhat mocking look, he gently pointed the tip of the fork at me.

Owen: You can try it. But if it doesn't suit your taste, don't blame me.

This movement, along with the slightly narrowed eyes behind the brim of the hat, seemed a bit different from when we first met.

Card Episode: Owen And The Door Of Days Bygone...

Akira: I heard that on the shores of Borda Isle, there is a door that allows you to see the past.

Akira: Speaking of the past, when I first came to this world, I still had a lot of uneasiness in my heart. Once I recall a certain memory, I feel at ease.

Owen: A certain memory?

Akira: Yes. The memory of a trusted adult reading a book to me as a child.

Owen: Hmm, sounds dreadfully boring.

Akira: B-boring...

Owen: It suits you, though.

Akira: How do you usually comfort yourself when feeling lonely?

Owen: Think of you.

Akira: Eh...

Owen: I think of...

Owen: Your scream as a gigantic dog almost gnawed you to bits and your teary face when abandoned all alone...

Akira: Ple-please stop talking.

Owen: Don't like it?

Akira: I don't. If you suddenly decide to act on those thoughts, I'd be in deep trouble.

Owen: Exactly the kind of thing I'd do.

Akira: Is there nothing else? Ways to comfort loneliness…

Owen: Who knows. I've never known loneliness or anything of the sort.

Owen: If you don't want to feel lonely, why not just be with others?

Akira: Do you mean making friends?

Owen: Of course not. I mean toying with people for my amusement.

Owen: Because there are plenty of humans and weak wizards that can be treated like playthings.

Owen: Threaten them, watch them squirm in terror, and you won't be bored anymore.

Akira: That's too extreme...Have you really done that to someone?

Owen: Of course I have.

Akira: Who...

Owen: The owner of this eyeball.

Akira: Ah...

Akira: …But, you two are friends now, right?

Owen: As if!

Akira: But if you can begrudgingly become friends despite all this...

Owen: I said no. We won't be friends. Are you stupid?

Owen: I've always done things that Sir Knight hates. Same goes for you.

Akira: Eh...?

Owen: I only do nasty things to you. I won't do anything good in the future either.

Owen: Whether I'm alone or you're alone, what you said just now was incredibly stupid.

Owen: Can't believe you said that having someone read a book to you can alleviate your loneliness.

Akira: Ah…No. I mean it's a memory that can comfort…

Owen: Same difference.

Owen: Even without an adult reading to you, you'd still find comfort in an imaginary character within a book, right?

Akira: Eh?

Owen: ...Incredibly boring.

[worriedvision]

Back to square one - Tighnari

Gender neutral reader, reader has a vision and is from Inazuma. They escape Inazuma during the vision hunt decree, and someone suggests the idea of going along to ‘Master Tighnari’. One day, you lose your vision.

--

“Excuse me sir!” You call out, a tall eared man turning when you call out. Nobody was around other than him at the time, it was midnight. 

“Oh, hello. Are you lost?” He asks, borderline condescending when he finishes the sentence. 

“I am looking for a...Master Tighnari? Could you tell me where he is?” You ask.

This man had the audacity to waste an hour of your time, taking you on a long walk that involved hiking and fighting fungi before he decided to tell you that he was the person you were looking for. 

“Well, I finally ‘found’ you, so I suppose I should get to my reason for looking for you.” You sigh out, holding back your anger. “Do you know of the vision hunt decree that is happening in Inazuma?”

Tighnari nods, encouraging you to continue. 

“Well, I left. Well, more accurately, I fled Inazuma.”

“I don’t see a vision on you...” Tighnari hums in thought. You lift up your shirt slightly, revealing your vision that was hidden behind your attire.

“Well, we are desperate for forest rangers... and you have shown your ability to keep up with me...” He thinks out loud, seeing your expression growing more and more hopeful. “I suppose we can keep you.”

--

Over time, you still kept hiding your vision out of habit. You couldn’t bear the idea of Sumeru experiencing a similar predicament where peoples visions were being taken forcefully. Nobody forced you to show your vision, and the only person that actually saw your vision. You grew to love your new life as a forest ranger, you finally feeling like you were being useful. You finally stopped treading in fear. 

One day, however, someone stole your vision when you were sleeping. You couldn’t find your vision, but before you could tell Tighnari someone took it, you forgot about it. Along with the vision went your memories with the forest rangers. 

Unsure of where to go, you started to wander towards where your route always conveniently started. You wandered into a withering zone, passing out as you no longer remembered how to clear the zone and the fact you had no vision did not help.

You were lucky that Tighnari even saw you, and you were thoroughly confused when you met eyes with him, him clearly concerned.

“_, How are you feeling?” He asks, preparing a medication for you.

“...Who are you?” You ask. “How do you know my name?” You continue, starting to get up as you look for the exit. “What are you planning?” 

Tighnari’s ears droop when he begins to ponder the possibility someone else has taken your vision during the night. 

“You passed out in a withering zone. I came across you, and after clearing the zone I brought you here for treatment.” He explains. “I know this is quite a bit of information to take in, but I recommend you stay with us until you recover.” He finishes. 

You slowly nod, falling back to sleep as Tighnari begins to carry out an investigation of his own.

--

You found yourself feeling more and more useless by the day. Tighnari refused to clear you for travel, you heard the other forest rangers ask about you and Tighnari kept watching over you, too closely for your liking. 

You had enough of feeling so useless and weak, and you saw an advert for buying delusions. The poster had flashy words, saying it would change your life for the best (with an asterisk you didn’t see explaining the delusion had drawbacks) and a price.

You were just about to buy a delusion from a lovely man who empathised with your situation, only for Tighnari to yell for them to leave you alone. You turn to him, fists clenched, and you start to tear up out of frustration.

“I want to be useful, please! I need to buy a delusion!” You argue, Tighnari frowning at you before placing his hands on his hips.

“Absolutely not. A delusion wouldn’t be ideal, given it would only give you a quick death.” Tighnari explains. “Someone has stolen your vision, and I have some close connections looking for the whereabouts of the item.”

“How do you know so much about me, huh? Are you going to buy one of those delusions under the guise of it being my vision?” You walk towards Tighnari, fake intimidation in your steps. “Don’t you want me to be useful for once?” 

“Stop that.”  Tighnari doesn’t back down, seeing right through you. “I can assure you I have your best interests at mind.” 

--

Meanwhile, Cyno had gotten in contact with Alhaitham. An unlikely pairing, but Cyno figured if anyone was logical enough to find your vision, it would be him. 

Alhaitham managed to discover a vision that was being sold by Dori. Of course, she never showed for him, so Alhaitham had to be wise about this. He informed Cyno of this, and in turn Cyno was the one to obtain the vision. It was clear this as an Inazuman vision, and Dori was more than happy to hand the vision over once Cyno coughed up the mora without complaining of the price. 

Cyno couldn’t help himself when he asked Alhaitham if he wanted to go with him to give your vision back, and he thought the walk wasn’t going to be too bad when Alhaitham nods. 

But then Alhaitham starts asking Cyno if he had any idea as to who it could have been. Dori wouldn’t have been one to steal someone’s vision, and someone must have known the vision bearer long enough to steal it without you suspecting a thing. Well, until it was already long gone. Cyno argues back, insisting if he started interrogating Dori he would have lost the chance to purchase it. Then, Alhaitham argues back by stating that Cyno could have bought the information, bribing Dori with a price and even clarifying that he would have been happy to pay Cyno back. 

The duo stop arguing when Tighnari is there, arms crossed and frowning lightly.

“You know, I heard all of that.” Tighnari sighs out before looking at the vision Cyno had bought. “Is that the vision?” Tighnari asks, hoping the answer was an agreeable one. When Cyno nods, Tighnari lets out a sigh of relief. 

Before Cyno could speak, however, Alhaitham talks.

“I need to talk to the individual this vision belongs to.” Alhaitham states. “I would appreciate if you would bring me to them.”

Tighnari and Cyno turn to look at Alhaitham, silently judging his thought process, but Tighnari agrees. 

“Alright. However, you cannot go in without my permission.” Tighnari states. “I am sure you understand the mixture of reactions getting a vision back could give.” 

--

“_, I think someone might have found your vision.” Tighnari cheers, Alhaitham standing outside as he reads a book as he waits. Tighnari extends his hand, you reluctantly reaching, before he pulls back when you have your vision fully in your hands.

It takes a moment, but your vision comes back to life, you audibly gasping as you remember everything again. You remember Tighnari taking you in that first night when you had nowhere to go, you remember him training you up, you remember your knowledge when it comes to tackling withering zones. 

After you fully process it, you can’t help but beam happily at Tighnari. 

“Thank you.” You leap out, hugging Tighnari before he pats your back.

“I can’t take credit for your vision coming back-”

“No, the first day without my vision.” You  mumble into Tighnari, before you pull back. “Oh gosh, sorry. I should have controlled myself.”

Tighnari shakes his head, before he spots Alhaitham now waiting eagerly for the okay. 

“Someone’s going to ask you some questions. Is that alright?” Tighnari asks. When you nod, Alhaitham enters the room, not wasting time on waiting for Tighnari to let him in, and he sits down with a notebook before he begins to ask you about what happened. 

--

After an interview that wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be, you give Alhaitham the advert that you conveniently saw. Alhaitham nods, asking if he could take it with him. You insist he can keep it, saying you’d rather not remember the time you almost bought a delusion, and Alhaitham leaves with the information he gathered.

You look down at the vision you were holding, and you go to hide it on yourself again, but you feel an urge to wear it proudly.

A newly found determination, you tie a bit of string around the vision before placing it on your neck.

[deelavis]

asking 13 & 14 for mello/mellonear :) !!!

13. See below the cut for this one because I may have um... gotten a bit carried away.

14.Romance Headcanon

AHhh I'm so happy you asked this one. When is comes to romance I think under all of the anger and walls he puts up, Mello is an incredibly tender and thoughtful person. With his tendency to want to be in control of things and his deep desire to be needed, I think he shows love by taking care of people. From the outside it would still be couched in snark and rudeness, but I think he would do small, everyday things for Near constantly. He'd call Near an idiot for not closing his jacket in the cold, while buttoning it up for him. Berate him for not eating regularly the entire time he's cooking one of the handful of meals that doesn't set off Near's sensory issues. Mello peels the skin off a clementine, carefully picking all the white stringy pith off before handing Near the small sections one by one, and if anyone points out the action he scoffs and say how useless Near is at doing anything for himself. Near knows how bad Mello is at saying how he feels, but it doesn't really matter to him when Mello detangles the knots in his hair so gently and so patiently that it makes Near's heart ache. Near knows what he means.

Even though you asked for Mello, I do have to add that I think that Near is also SO accidently romantic. He remembers very small details about people and also very matter-of-factly states how he feels. So sometimes he just casually drops what he thinks is a normal observation but sounds more like a love poem. Things like "Oh, your meeting went well. When you smiled at me you tucked your hair behind your ear and your eyes crinkled at the edges. It's the smile you give when you accomplish something important." and "There's no one more important to me than you." He doesn't see how he's being romantic when he just stating facts.

*nsft below the cut*

13.Sex Headcanon

I have so many of these at this point I feel like I should start a word of the day style calendar for them lol. I think Mello loves to take photos. Photos of himself, expertly posed in the mirror in a barely there scrap of lingerie that he can e-mail to Near at the least appropriate moments. Photos of Near underneath him, skin all pink and glowing white under the camera's flash. As he takes them he talks about what a shame it would be if they happened to get sent to everyone Near knows, then they would see who he really is. How Mello wants everyone to know that only he can reduce the all mighty Near to a thoroughly fucked, stupid, writhing, mess. But Mello's favorite pictures are the ones of both of them together. He has large ornate mirrors all over his bedroom that are perfect for getting every angle. He loves seeing the contrast of their skin as they press together, watching Near watching him. But instead of looking into Mello's eyes he stares straight at the lens in the reflection, knowing that when Mello looks back at the photos he'll be staring right at him. If he's feeling extra ambitious he might even set up the tripod for a video or two. They do make the distance so much easier when either of them has to go on a business trip without the other. And with canon there's the added risk to it. They have to be so careful to not let their faces get out that the danger of it that feels so indecent. They shouldn't take the risk, but Mello just can't help himself. OH GOD, now I'm just thinking of a scenario where Light almost gets his hands on a photo of them (ALMOST, we don't like sad endings in this house), but it's their homemade porn.

[compassionatereminders]

It's really hard to shake the feeling that I should drop people and cut off contact with them. It's so depressing to reach out to someone and be left on the back burner for them…

Some people aren't malicious but they're just… thoroughly useless at any kind of reciprocation or thinking about anyone else. I'm talking "receive a Christmas card from you and spend weeks failing to mention it to you until it's been long enough you finally ask, because you were worried it got lost in the mail" levels of useless. While verbally claiming to value your friendship and being close to you. Like ffs. It's not that I need heaps of praise but I do in fact also have better things to do than select and fill out and mail cards to friends for whom it is apparently such a non-occurrence that it's not even worth remarking on.

(Yes, I know in 99% of cases it's just forgetfulness, not malice. And again, I don't care because I, too, am forgetful and I would be more than glad to spend my limited Remembering Things energy on people who will appreciate it.)

I don't know why I bother

I will probably stop bothering tbh.

People say to mirror the energy you get in relationships and I never know how to do that. Like, when deciding whether to send a card or even a congratulations for a friend's birthday this year, should I base my decision on the fact that I want them to feel happy and want to give people a chance, or should I base it on the fact that they failed to reciprocate the birthday thing with me? Despite having as much opportunity for it as I did with them, if not more?

That depends. Like do you enjoy making/writing cards? Do most people you send them to respond well? Does the process involved in doing it bring you any joy by itself? Because if sending people cards is nothing but a thankless obligation which is only worthwhile once you get a card in return, then you definitely should find other ways to show your love. But I don't think caring is inherently pointless if it isn't a completely equal exchange

[queervegancryptid]

I don't even know why I'm bothering to try to get better anymore.

I mean, really, it's hard enough to be in active anorexia relapse, when recovery is already hard to convince yourself to want. But when insurance makes it impossible to get care, it's like... before I started looking for help, I was starving. Now I feel like all I've done is add an extra layer of frustration, and if anything, the restricting has gotten worse, not better.

You start to feel like you might as well just keep starving and stop fighting it, because if your only alternative is to be starving AND throwing yourself against a brick wall trying to get treatment... I mean, am I wrong?

I don't want to die, but really, it starts to feel like I don't matter at all. If I don't matter at all, why should I bother trying to recover? Again? And it is the umpteenth fucking time. And it gets even more exhausting and scary every time it happens. For the first time, if things continue this way, I might be at risk for refeeding syndrome, and my stomach is healing from an ulcer, and I have an electrolyte imbalance, so purging could literally be deadly for me right now. (They wouldn't cover the prescription for the electrolyte imbalance, either, btw. Despite it being FUCKING DOCUMENTED BY REPEATED LABS.)

But UHC says I need to prove that treatment is "medically necessary." Fuck that. I can count on one hand the number of actual meals I've eaten in the last month, I agonize over every fucking bite, and my BMI is literally the lowest it's ever been. But maybe treatment isn't "medically necessary."

Fuck that. Anyway, I'm not giving up, just venting. But I'll say this: I am done with UHC. Fucking over it. They've been borderline useless to me aside from paying for prescriptions, but they also haven't been reliable there, either. And now that I actually need help urgently for a problem that COULD ACTUALLY KILL ME, their being damn near useless just became a liability.

Really, it's my fault for not severing ties with them a long time ago. Especially after they SWITCHED MY PLAN WITHOUT ANY NOTICE at the start of the year. They said they sent a letter, which I never received, and the member services page where I log in had a link about plan changes, but it had nothing about that. I feel like that's called fraud, but idk.

If I can come back from this, I'm going to find a way to help other people going through this bullshit with the US healthcare system. This is not okay.

Oh, and I spent the last several months watching my cat slowly die. My partner and I basically were doing kitty hospice at home since late December or early January. Snippet, our kitty, died of bladder cancer just over two weeks ago. It was fucking brutal. I didn't know anything could hurt that much.

The stress from that made me not feel like eating, which made me start to lose weight, and the whole situation was so thoroughly miserable, I couldn't stop myself from grabbing hold of that feeling, because it was the only thing that seemed to be going right. Right now, it's the only thing that makes me feel good about myself.

I don't even actually want to give it up for myself. I just hate to put my partner through it. I knew I was in trouble when I started thinking about weighing myself regularly again. "Just to see," my brain says.

Fuck all of this. Where did my life go?

[otherworldseekers]

They Can’t Take You Away From Me: Part 13 (Conclusion)

Here it is at last, the final installment of Amnesia AU (for now). Remember that this picks up right in mid scene from part 12. Includes a steamy bit but nothing explicit this time.

Fic Masterpost

“I love you, Nero. I love you so much,” Severia tells him as their kisses grow more passionate, more hungry.

When she says those words his heart feels lighter and more full than he can ever remember. Was it like this the first time, Nero wonders. Had she always made him feel like he can do anything, be anything, grasp the entire world in his hands… But right now he is content with just her. 

And he is becoming keenly aware of how naked they both still are, the scent of their previous coupling clinging to them. Nero rolls her beneath him and settles between her thighs. Severia’s legs circle his waist. Her hands grasp at his chest, shoulders, neck, as if to make sure that he is real. “Nero, please,” she whispers as her hands dig into his hair, “I need you so much.”

How is it that she knows just what he needs to hear? He has spent the last few months feeling inadequate, useless, needing assistance from everyone around him. Her words are both balm and spark. The sex before had been fantastic but also inevitable. He had been hopelessly aroused by her. Had wanted nothing more than to fuck her senseless. (And prided himself that, for all intents and purposes, he had.) But now… Now he wants to adore her. To show her what it means to him that he’s found her again and that he needs her just as much, if not more than, she needs him. 

“Severia,” he breathes against her neck in fervent tones. “I’m yours.” 

This time he goes slowly, his touch tender and reverent. He revels in eliciting both her impatient whimpers and her gasps of pleasure, delights in the way their bodies move together perfectly. Her kisses burn him, her whispered words of love exhilarate him. And his name upon her lips as she finds her release sends him over the edge. 

Afterward, they hold each other close with limbs pleasantly entwined. Severia is soon asleep once more and as Nero tucks the blanket around them and snuggles in to join her he knows that he has finally found contentment. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severia wakes the next morning to the pleasing sensation of Nero tracing along the outer edges of the scales on her back with his fingertips. A smile creeps onto her face, but as she is facing away from him, she pretends sleep for a few more minutes, enjoying his touch. 

“You’re awake, aren’t you?” says Nero beside her. 

Severia laughs and turns over. She never has been able to fool him. “Sorry, it was just too nice a way to wake up.”

Nero grins. “I can make it much nicer now that you’re awake.” 

“Oh?” 

He pulls her against his chest and kisses her thoroughly as his hand moves down to squeeze her backside. “Can I ask you something?” he says as he kisses her nose, her forehead, her chin. 

“Of course.”

“I don’t know if this will sound odd, but are your scales… different?”

Severia freezes. “You’ve remembered?”

“No,” Nero says apologetically His fingers return to her upper back, brushing across the scales there. “I have the most curious sensation that this area should be bare. I can’t account for it unless…”

“It happened while I was on the First. I think it was in response to the Light. My scales grew much more rapidly than they normally would,” Severia explained. “Do you… hate it?”

Nero gives a surprised laugh. “No. Never. Your scales are beautiful.” He kisses her again in reassurance. “In fact, now that I know they’ve changed, even if I don’t technically remember what they were like before, I really will have to devote considerable time to reacquainting myself with every inch of them. I trust you won’t object?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Well then, I always say there’s no time like the present.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is quite late in the morning by the time Severia and Nero come down the stairs to the main floor of the Rising Stones, hand in hand. Heads turn from around the common area, but they have eyes only for each other as they make their way out of the building. They pause on the doorstep of the Ironworks and Nero gathers her into his arms, indifferent to the stares they are attracting. 

“I’ll miss you,” he says, as he cups her cheek and draws her lips against his. 

“I’ll miss you too,” Severia answers with a pleased grin. 

Nero looks vaguely uncomfortable for a moment as he takes a step back and holds her hands in his. “I still don’t know what I’m doing. What happens next… for us?”

“We have a lot to talk about,” Severia replies. 

“So?”

“So dinner at 18 bells?”

Nero grins. “I’ll make something delicious for you.”’

“You still cook?”

“It seems I never forgot that.”

“I guess I’ll restock the cupboards,” Severia says cheerfully. 

Reluctantly, Nero gives her one more kiss and then enters the Ironworks to begin his workday. Within is the normal bustle of a busy workshop, but there’s a definite sense of many eyes very carefully not looking at him. And no wonder. This morning Nero is not the neat and meticulously coifed figure they are used to. He’s still wearing his attire from the night before. Pants and shirt are somewhat wrinkled from lying on Severia’s floor all night. Coat and tie are slung over his arm carelessly. And perhaps most telling, his golden locks look distinctly disheveled.

Cid comes up and claps Nero on the back. “Well, it seems someone had an interesting night,” he says heartily. 

Nero looks down at him with a haughty frown. “Don’t bother pretending you don’t know all about it, Garlond. I detected your hand immediately.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Nero.”

Nero sighs. “So it’s to be like that, is it? Calling her to meet you urgently and then just not showing up? How very amateur of you. You’re fortunate that Miss Zetsuen is too trusting an individual to notice your duplicity.”

“So it’s still Miss Zetsuen?”

“To you it is,” Nero replies coldly, walking away. ���Fear not. I have a spare tunic in my office and, if the gods are merciful, a comb.”

“Nero!” Cid calls to Nero’s retreating back.

“What?”

“I’m happy for you.”

Nero pauses, turns, and nods once to Cid before continuing to his office. With a smile Cid looks around and notices all the faces very carefully not staring in his direction. 

“The entertainment is over. Back to work!”

Meanwhile, Severia returns to the Stones and plops down in a chair next to Thancred, head in her arms on the table. She sighs heavily. Thancred and Tataru look at each other in alarm across the room and Tataru runs over. 

“Severia! Good morning! It’s a lovely day!” Tataru cries with affected cheer. 

Severia turns her head so she can look at her two friends. “You’re right. It is.”

Thancred clutches his coffee mug and clears his throat. “Er… long night?”

Severia huffs a laugh. “If you two are trying to figure out how to ask me what happened with Nero you can just come out and say it.”

Tataru and Thancred trade another glance of trepidation. 

“You looked rather happy before… when you came down…” Tataru ventures. 

“It’s complicated,” says Severia. “I am happy. I’m also… rather overwhelmed. It all happened in so short a time.”

“That’s understandable, Sev,” Thancred says. “Going from having your heart broken to being, er, well clearly the object of his affections again… It’s a big change and is bound to be stressful, even when the change is good. Don’t be afraid to take it slow.”

“A bit late for that. I’m afraid we just jumped right in.”

“Because you wanted to, right?” Tataru asks.

“Yes, I wanted to very badly, but I’m afraid we’re both going to flounder a bit after this.”

“That’s natural,” Thancred assures her. “But I have faith you’ll figure it out.”

Severia sighs again, this time in some relief. “You’re right. In the meantime, I think I could use a nap.” She pushes herself away from the table and stands up. “Tataru, could you send my apologies to Aymeric? Just tell him something urgent came up. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“What?” Tataru says in surprise. Thancred elbows her. “Oh! Oh, right. Yes, I’ll do that.”

Severia smiles and gives each of them a hug. “Thank you. Both of you.”

As they watch her walk back up to her rooms, Thancred and Tataru grin at each other. “Mission accomplished,” says Thancred.

“And a job well done it was too, if I say so myself.” Tataru bows. “Now to sort through these messages that have been piling up. There was one here from the Alliance somewhere…”

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Uh-oh, I'm back on my self-indulgence

—-

Psst: it’s ready!

AO3 || Tumblr

Anybody want a feel-good one-shot Malevolent fic involving thought-provoking movies, surprise visits, brutal murder, and Arthur being REALLY clever?

I need to read it over again, but I think it'll be ready to post tonight.

Have a snippet.

Full story coming tonight!

--------

The movie is called Dancing Lady, and Arthur already knows nothing will ever be made like it again once the Hays Code has its way.

It’s a ridiculous love triangle, a “tarnished” woman (a concept Arthur finds absurd) torn between a rich sponsor and a poor lover, both of whom, at least, see her talent for what it is.

There are some scenes in this one. At one point, Clark Gable massages Joan Crawford’s leg, raising it above his shoulder, only hinting at the things that must surely be on display from Gable’s point of view.

Yowza.

It’s hard not to imagine Joan Crawford making the kinds of faces John describes, and Arthur can’t help a little bit of distracting response.

He focuses on his popcorn instead of anything else prone to explode.

“Those guys are a lot of silk hats and silk socks with nothing between,” says Clark Gable on screen, and Arthur laughs.

John huffs. Why are they being so particular about this?  

“Particular about what?” says Arthur.

Tod, Patch, Janie. Why the fuck doesn’t she just lie with both of them? Why do they give a fuck?

Arthur is completely taken aback. “Well, it… I mean… she can’t do that.”

Why not?

Arthur has never in his life considered this question.

It’s about offspring, John decides.

“Ah… no, it’s not really - “

They demand monogamy so there can be no question of inheritance.

“She’s a dancing girl. She has nothing to inherit.”

Sure, but Tod does.

“Yes, but… that isn’t it, John.”

Then what is?

Arthur’s really not sure how to answer. What’s he going to say? That it isn’t the Christian thing to do? “I… it just isn’t done that way. Generally.”

Though in his musician days, he witnessed some truly unique romantic configurations.

It’s a lot to think about.

Stupid, pronounces John with fiendish delight, and continues to tell Arthur everything that’s happening on screen even though Arthur does not reply.

#

In February, John says, Arthur, I want to see a movie.

Arthur sighs. “John. I’ve been fucking stabbed.”

Only a little, says John. The three stitches are fine. You’re fine.

He is fine, honestly. It wasn’t that bad, and in the end, they took out the giant bug-thing that poked him.

He’s pretty sure he isn’t poisoned. Maybe that alone deserves celebration.

Arthur sighs. “Well. I suppose an evening of distraction isn’t such a terrible idea.”

Of course it’s not a terrible idea. It’s mine.

Arthur rolls his useless eyes, but can’t help a little smile. 

#

This movie, though. This movie hits a little different.

Death Takes a Holiday is about Death himself, who is tired of being misunderstood, and decides to go slumming among humans for a few days to see if he can figure out why.

And he falls in love. 

With a human.

Which can’t end well for that poor lady.

Arthur forgets his popcorn.

The drama is absolutely contrived and thoroughly effective.The struggles of the inhuman to understand the human - 

The choice of the human to understand the strange -

“And tonight, I must go back to my distant kingdom,” says Fredric March, whose portrayal of Death is passionate, quiet-spoken, and rife with tortured drama.

“Will you take me with you?” says Evelyn Venable, who plays Grazia, the love interest, and whose name means grace.

“Take you?” says Death, who is pretending to be something he is not, who is carrying on a wild con with the goal of… enlightenment? “Take you? I should be so unhappy alone. Take you? Oh, no, no… don’t tempt me. But Grazia, give me one hour of you - let me hold you once, and feel your life.”

Holy shit, Arthur thinks, because he’s pretty sure he knows how Grazia feels.

Sort of. He’s no damsel, and whatever he and John are isn’t romantic, but still?

“Now you see me as I am,” says Death, at last revealed as shadow, as monster, as darkly divine.

“But I've always seen you like that! You haven't changed,” says Grazia.

She chooses him, knowing what he is.

She chooses him, knowing what it will cost.

The music swells, and Arthur finds himself tearing up. “Then there is a love which casts out fear, and I have found it! And love is greater than illusion… and as strong as death!”

John cheers. She goes with him! She went with him! Yes, Arthur!

Does John see the parallels, too?

Arthur isn’t brave enough to ask.

He wipes his eyes, amazed, moved. Almost envious of that stupid made-up girl.

Yeah. This one hit different. 

He can’t help wondering, silly as it is, if this movie was based on something that really happened.

Death and Grazia, reaching across the gap.

It’s not him and John.

But then, who can say just what they are?

[farfromhome97]

Born Cursed : The Beginning

War Is Near

Warning: nakedness, self-doubt, cursing, some sexual tension, fighting, gore, overall carnage

18+

The warm water soaked away my aches and pains as I stared off into space. Using a washrag to thoroughly clean the sweat and grime from the day away, noting different nicks and small bruises the many days of training had given across my body.

Placing the rag on the side of the bath, I ran my hand over the surface of the water in front of me, finally contemplating the current decisions I was making.

I had to do what I needed in order to survive. Still, the prospect of war wasn't something that came with ease.

I would be killing other humans by the end of tomorrow. Trying to explain to myself that it was either them or me, that these people were destroying the Earth and I was just helping keep it the way it was.

I was doing what was right in order to survive.

But, even trying to justify my actions, the little voice that followed me everywhere spoke to me:

It should be you to die instead.

My jaw went tight as I clenched my teeth together, my fist balling as I held them underwater against my thighs, trying my best to keep calm.

Even so, the condescending tone of my fathers' voice was still loud in my head.

You know he'll do the same to you when he can't use you anymore. Nobody will ever want a cursed thing like you around.

Pulling my hands over my ears I whispered to myself, telling him to leave me alone, to deal with his voice when I needed to focus was just like him, always furthering negativity at the perfect time.

No matter what you do you'll always be useless, just like your mother. Worthless as the day she gave birth to yo-

"Just shut UP already!"

I shouldn't have screamed it as I smacked my ears over and over, yelling to my father that he was wrong.

No matter what I did, he always spoke in times of doubt, knowing I had no choice but to become stronger, more level-headed.

Not for Sukuna, not because of my father, but for myself and because I needed to.

Sighing as I tried to drown out his voice, I prayed loudly to whoever listened to give me strength and courage, lying to myself that I wasn't scared before dunking my head below the water, staying submerged for over a minute or two, watching the bubbles from my nose float up to the surface, the voice finally dying out completely.

Before I could lift myself from the water, two large hands plunged below the waters surface in front of me, shutting my eyes from shock as I tried to push the hands away from me, only for them to take a hold of them and pull me up from below the water to the surface, the sudden change causing me to inhale a small amount of water.

The flickering lights were dimmed from the water in my eyes as I coughed water from my mouth. Before I could speak I swung my hips backwards inorder to be released, only to feel a third hand grasp the small of my back and pull me forward, my eyes shooting open to find Sukuna smirking down at me.

Yelping as I did my best to cover myself, I flailed in his grasp telling him to let me go, watching as his eyes my face before raising a brow.

"So fickle."

Was all that was said before he did let me go, water soon filling my vision once more as I swam to the other side of the bath.

"I am not fickle My Lord, I was bathing! Whatever made you pull me from the water?!"

Instead of answering me, Sukuna only gazed down at me with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of him.

Huffing, I stood from the water, sticking my tongue out at him, crossing my own arms and puffing my chest out in hopes to appear taller.

Instead, I only received loud laughter, blushing as the curse held his stomach and threw his head back, the sound echoing against the walls, I was still as bare as the day I was born.

A small yelp left me as I covered myself again and darted back below the water, only stopping when it reached below my chin.

"Yes, fickle indeed, little mortal. No need to be so shy, being naked is to be in our natural state."

Coming to sit on the edge of the bath, Sukuna grabbed two bath towels in one hand as another reached across the water and threw them on my head.

"Mortals always have been shameful. Such pity."

Instead of covering, I stood as they fell to the water, made my way to the edge, climbed out of the tub only slipping slightly before sitting on the edge next to him, pulling my other leg out.

Once I was fully seated I looked over at Sukuna, watching as his smirk disappeared and something unfamiliar, a look I'd never seen before crossed his face. His nostrils flaring slightly as his breaths deepened, noticing from the corner of my eyes when his biceps tightened under the grip of his hands, only speaking when he said nothing, my voice barely a whisper.

"Am I shameful now, Lord Sukuna?"

Looking up at him, shrugging before I stood, and made my way out into the many hallways, running slightly when I left, clutching my goods and heading to my room, giggling the whole way.

I almost slipped several times, my laughter bouncing off the dark hallways as I heard Sukunas steps behind mine.

Finally at my rooms door, the door handle becoming slippery due to wet hands, cursing with my laughter as I finally pried it open, running to my wardrobe immediately getting dressed.

Walking to the little table I had everything for my hair to be taken care after a good dunking, letting the oils brush down to make sure my ends stayed hydrated.

Hearing the knocking of who I assumed to be the king himself, jumping, since never once had he knocked on anyone's door he was king he owned everything here.

Putting my face in my hands, I peeked as he walked through the door, crouching down to fit through the frame.

"I am sorry, My Lord, I-"

"You are not shameful, Y/N."

Sighing, I crossed my arms over my chest, looking up at the tall curse in front of me. He has always been beautiful, but in the lighting of my room on a summers night, he looked angelic, as if sculpted by the gods, something I did not consider myself to look like.

He had no reason to be shameful. Even still, I couldn't let him know how weak I felt, not when being weak would mean being killed.

"No, not when death could be at any time."

Kneeling down to my level, his crimson eyes fixing on mine, his hands crossing over his bent knee.

"You are an interesting mortal."

Smiling, I leaned closer to his face, looking at him close for the first time felt thrilling, always being so far from his face. His tattoos sharp but slightly raised, his eyes that never seemed to blink, staring right back at me.

"Thank you. Good night, My Lord. May sleep find you well."

Rising from his place, Sukuna placed a hand on my shoulder, rubbing a thumb across the large scar that showed below my sleeve.

"Where did this come from?"

Looking down at his hand, I let a shakey breath go before speaking.

"My...father, My Lord. He was not a nice man."

Instead of questioning further, Sukuna only nodded, removed his hand before wishing me a good night and telling me that we would be leaving in the morning for the Yuhtan forest. War was indeed near.

-The Battle Of Curses & Thieves-

The metal of armor and footsteps was all I heard walking to the tall hill, my place beside Sukuna as we walked in front ahead of Curses and Spirits alike, my eyes looking everywhere I could, taking in everything I could.

The large trees surrounding the area only partially as a clearing came into focus, soon seeing the hundreds of humans clad in their own armor, looking up at us from afar.

Sukuna cursed under his breath, a snarl across his face as stared them down before flicking how eyes to me, a human fighting with him.

Fighting against the humans that have stolen from him. Humans who looked at me with disgust, who would soon all be dead because of their own misdeeds.

"Are you ready, Y/N?"

I looked up to Sukuna, who standing proud, looked back down to smirk at me.

Holding my hands to the side, feeling the cursed energy grow in my hands, almost like holding a sword, extending my reach as my walking began to slow.

"I have no choice but to be ready, My Lord."

Nodding, Sukuna finally stopped, raising a hand as the sound of footsteps coming to a hault and armour clinking to a stop was all to be heard until Sukunas' thundering commands.

"Kill them all!"

Within an instant, the once quiet fields of grass became loud with the shout of human chants, the sound of metal clashing as the fighting began.

"No one is to be left breathing, Y/N."

To my left, I was flanked by three men clad in armour and helmets, their swords flashing in the sun as they ran towards me.

Swinging my hands in front of me, I watched as my shadows covered their necks one by one, bringing my hands above my head and back down, the heads of the men rolling off of their necks as blood spewed from the wounds.

All hell was breaking loose.

Moments later, I was lost in the middle of the field, Sukuna having gone elsewhere, meaning I had to protect my own skin.

Another wave of thieves came stomping my way, flanking me on all sides, even behind me as I drew my shadows closer to me.

Stopping completely, my chest rose rapidly as I tried to catch my breath.

"Traitor!"

Watching as the swords rose, closing in on me, yelling the word to me as I gained my bearings, a hot searing pain hit my side as I brought my hand to my chest;

"No. I am so much worse."

Blinding light filled my vision, their horrid screams echoed through the field, so loud that my knees hit the ground as I covered my ears. The sounds of flesh being torn still present, crying as they begged me to stop.

Too quickly, much too sudden, everything was quiet.

All I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat. Picking myself up, I ran.

Not looking down, up, left or right, I went as fast as my feet could take me as I clutched my side. I had to make it home.

Home? You don't have a home, remember?

I needed to find Sukuna, was this over?

I couldn't tell, there was no sound anymore only the voices in my head, my sight unfocused, the war was over, we should be going home now.

Sukuna? He's gone, Y/N. Just like everyon-

"SHUT UP HE DIDN'T LEAVE!!"

Stopping, I let my knees fall as I finally felt the ground, barely catching my face with my free hand, breathing harshly through my mouth as I tried catching what little breath I had.

He wouldn't leave....right?

Pain shot through my side, curbing my thoughts, blood trailing through my fingers.

I groaned as the pain spread, feeling my muscles begin to ache and the familiar headache beginning to form behjnd my eyes.

I tried to look around me, only for my vision to tunnel into darkness, praying that I was found before I took my last breath.

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A/N!!: 😈 laughs manically

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Taglist!: @m0ch1nut 🥰

[khaleesiofalicante]

DANIIIII

HIII

*rant alert* please skip if you want to 😭

So I recently joined college and suddenly all my professors want me to write research papers and make projects? It's so annoying and they literally didn't give us any guidelines, they told us to find a topic on our own and I don't know why I'm coming up so blank. I have never done anything like this in high-school and I'm just so confused. I don't know what to do man, I have been trying to research and read about how I should go about it but nah

For context, if you could maybe help in some way-

1. Subject-Microeconomics

Basically I have to choose anything that is happening around me and relate it to things like demand, supply consumer and producer behaviour.

For example- why is popcorn so highly priced in movie halls? (Can't take this one obv) but something like this that happens to us all the time but we don't realise it

2. Subject- Quantitative techniques

I basically have to perform 5 types of statistical data analysis on any topic. It's my first time doing something like this and I really impress them but I just feel so useless.

*rant closed*

Even if u didn't read this, I just wanted to say that sometimes u feel like my personal diary ❤️

Hey bb,

I've seen this issue with SO MANY college kids and that's because our secondary education system (like high school) absolutely does fuck all to teach kids about writing essays and creating projects and doing research. We're just used to memorizing text and filling in blanks and answering MCQs.

Sigh. Anyhoo, other than my qualms with the education system, let's see how we can help you.

So, what you're being asked to do (if i am not wrong) is to come up with a hypothesis. If you are expected to run a statistical test, then you need a hypothesis and variables.

A hypothesis is something like (if i sell my popcorn in a movie hall, i will have more sales). Then you test this hypothesis by running experiments (for eg you can sell popcorn in a few different places including the theatre and see where you made the most sales). But you need to make sure your data collection is consistent (for eg, you need to sell the same type of popcorn, sell it on the same day and time (Saturday 4 pm etc).

3. I was using the popcorn thingy as an example obviously. If your topic is about microeconomics, try to pick an easy topic you can work on since this is new to you. For eg: people are more likely to buy a product that has celebrity endorsement or why are hygiene products for women mostly in pink?

I think a good place to start is to speak with your lecturers and get some clarification. Trust me, this is so much better than assuming what they want and doing the wrong thing.

Perhaps as a first step, you can write down things you are unclear about regarding the assignment?

For example, i am not sure if you are expected to work with primary data (do your experiments and get your own data) or use secondary data (google something and write a report on it).

For example, for the popcorn thing, do you need to run some experiments (sounds like a lot of work but i am not sure how else you can run statistical tests without access to data) or just do a lit review on the topic and write an essay.

If you have an assignment brief or something, read it thoroughly. You can also ask some people in your class how they understood the assignment to see if they understood it the same or differently.

Good luck with it!

[flightfoot]

As someone who hasn't engaged much with the Tumblr Side of the miraculous fandom for a long time can you explain to me this place's reputation for salt fics? Every social media platform seems to hate certain characters more than others and I'm aware of Tumblr's preference for certain characters over others. It seems the salt fics and authors have died down since the heights it had in season 3, I try not to pay attention to that stuff cause it seems really dumb. If you could perhaps explain it to someone that's not familiar I'd appreciate it.

The Tumblr crowd tends to be heavily associated with AO3, so there's a lot of similarities between what's popular on AO3 and what's popular on tumblr. The salt fics and authors have massively died down on say, FFN, where they've mostly died out, but they're still going strong on AO3. The saltdom is more quarantined (especially compared to season 3, when it was pretty much unavoidable while still participating in the fandom at all), but it's still pretty strong in the places where it's still around.

Tvtropes has a decent run-down of some of the common Saltfic plots on its Fandom Specific Plots page, so if you want more information, that's a good start.

Basically, the idea is that the author projects onto Marinette, and doesn't really care about most of the other characters, and the other (canonically good) characters tend to be made into horrible people for not being sufficiently loyal to her, in order to justify giving her new friends who worship the ground she walks in and will freely hurt anyone who "mistreated" Marinette.

Luka's often used as her new Love Interest since Adrien's declared to be a sexual harasser and lazy and useless as Chat Noir, and to be a spineless useless doormat for not teaming up with Marinette to try to expose Lila in Chameleon (his later efforts to help Marinette in Ladybug, once he knows that Lila's actually malicious, is usually ignored). Luka basically just revolved around Marinette and never pushed her or seemed to have any desires or baggage of his own in seasons 2 and 3, so he was often used as a partially blank slate who could be altered to be whatever the author thought Marinette's ideal boyfriend should be like, who would care about Marinette's point of view and wellbeing, and ONLY that, with no consideration for anyone else's perspective or feelings, making him the perfect defender for her.

Chloe's particularly popular with the saltdom, especially post-season 3, since a lot of fans feel like she got a raw deal. Though she was popular among the saltdom even back when Chameleon aired, and... honestly for pretty fair reasons? A lot of the earliest Chameleon fics ran with the idea of Lila making good on the threats she'd made, turning Marinette's friends against her. Since Alya and the class in general had shown a susceptibility to Lila's manipulation and lies, it was often assumed that Lila could sufficiently lie and manufacture evidence to fool them into thinking that Marinette wasn't a good person, while Lila wouldn't put in that effort to trick Chloe, who wasn't Marinette's friend, and who also wasn't doing much of anything in Chameleon, so it was unknown whether she was fooled by Lila's lies.

Problem was, that somewhat reasonable plotline kept on being flanderized into making Chloe into being the one person who cared about Marinette and could tell she wouldn't do the things she was accused of, and Alya and the class in general kept on being warped into being horrific bullies who'd physically hurt Marinette, destroy her property, and suicide bait her. And even when that plotline was both thoroughly exhausted AND was proven wrong by canon with "Ladybug" acting as "Chameleon's" follow-up, they still kept going.

A lot of people really like "the main character is horribly mistreated by the people who should always have their back no matter what, so the people who supposedly should be their enemies recognize how horribly they've been mistreated and team up with them instead, inflicting horrific vengeance and punishment on those who didn't treat them the way they deserved" plotlines. You see it commonly in Harry Potter, Pokemon, and more recently, Encanto fics, for example. (the "teaming up with enemies" part is optional. Sometimes the other party is just considered "better" because they're more unquestioningly loyal to the main character).

Anyway, I'm not totally sure if this explanation was what you were looking for, but I tried my best.

[kimseokjin2024]

BTS’s Jin—lighthearted, serious and insightful all at once -Vogue SG

Past articles: 2021.12.23

A typical day off for Jin goes something like this: he falls asleep after playing computer games until 5am and finally wakes up at 2pm. Then he stays in bed and stares blankly at the ceiling for about three hours, occasionally checking his phone or turning on the TV and flipping through the channels. Eventually, he sits in front of the computer again, and he eats something when hunger strikes. After eating, he feels drowsy and heads back to bed. To borrow Jin’s expression, this is a day that is “excessively lazy, and that some might say is a bit pathetic”.

“I spent yesterday like that,” Jin admits. As he explained at the ARMY Corner Store during the 2021 BTS FESTA event, the best days are those that are most thoroughly idled away. If yesterday was all about the freedom to lounge around, today’s Vogue shoot is the exact opposite. “Today’s schedule is the tightest ever,” Jin remarks. “Yesterday, I watched TV and lay in bed for two more hours and played games for five hours and maybe fell asleep at two or three in the morning. Then I came straight here. I think I need a reward today.”

So, it is likely that Jin played computer games or met one or two close friends after our interview, idling the time away as he likes to. He appears to be spontaneous—he describes himself as “someone who does whatever he feels like ”—but he actually lives according to very clear rules. Take, for example, his ideas about rest. “The meaning of the word ‘rest’ seems to have changed,” he says. “I think that resting should be entirely selfish. However, a lot of people try to do something useful in their free time, like something that will help them pad out their résumé. But I believe that uselessness is useful! I believe that you need to have days that other people consider wasteful, to be able to focus more on useful things later.” Ironically, Jin can commit himself more to his regular work routine because he appreciates the value of “lazy time”. “You know the saying: ‘I bend my knees only to jump higher’,” he says with a laugh.

Much is lost from Jin’s words when they are recorded and transcribed. Imagine hearing his childlike enthusiasm—it’s like he’s telling the most interesting story in the world, regardless of the topic. His voice has a playful yet confident tone, and he punctuates his remarks with distinctive squeaks of laughter (once described as “the sound glass makes when being cleaned”). We joke throughout the interview. He has a unique sense of humour, and everything is out in the open. His jokes are delivered nonchalantly, cheerfully and sincerely, certainly not as a defence mechanism or to cover up insecurity, as with people who joke endlessly to hide what they really feel. Statements like “Of course I’m handsome—I don’t feel the need to deny this” and “Um, my work kind of lacks clear boundaries” are all delivered in the same tone.

“I hate it when there’s a serious atmosphere. When people are too serious, I always try to lift the mood,” Jin explains. Through Jin’s appearances on entertainment programmes and the like, we are familiar with Jin’s creative humour and his penchant for ajae gag (dad jokes). Asked whether he ever acts in a serious manner besides when performing, this fellow who thrives on stirring up laughter answers with total conviction. “Never,” he says with a chuckle. “Usually, when a serious person and a jovial person have a conversation, one of them gives in. Usually, the conversation ends up becoming serious, but with me, it’s different. One of our staff members is very serious, but when I talk to him, we usually just joke around. If someone is too serious and I feel we can’t get along, then I just start avoiding them as soon as possible.”

So, rather than covering heavy topics like personal anguish, anxiety and the future, we opt instead for a light, pleasant conversation about trivial things. When I quietly ask him why he can’t stand a serious atmosphere, Jin answers straightforwardly, remarking: “Because it’s no fun” and “I’m always like this, whether being interviewed or just talking with friends.” Jin clarifies: “My main role is as a singer, but the boundaries of my work are blurry. I do stage performances, photo shoots like today’s and content shoots. Of course, I take my work very seriously. However, until the boundaries of my work become clear, I can’t specifically tell you when I’m being serious. Except when I’m on stage, 80 to 90 percent of my time is spent joking around.” Yet what at first glance seems like levity pure and simple turns out to have a purpose. “I think having fun is one of the things that makes it possible for me to work without burning out,” Jin reveals.

Jin’s philosophy of fun is one of BTS’s unique points. BTS are much more down-to-earth and familiar than many other superstars. That is, they come across as normal people living in the same world as us rather than as distant superhuman beings from another planet. Seeing the messages they send and the way they goof around during TV appearances and interviews, we get the same impression of them as we did when they debuted eight years ago. (And their enormous success since then only makes this more charming.) Jin plays a big role in BTS. Nicknamed ‘Mannae’ (an oldest child who acts like the youngest), he is considered to be an ideal senior group mate. He gets along with the other members while at the same time helping to maintain harmony.

Indeed, Jin’s ability to smooth over any situation in a carefree manner is at the heart of BTS’s charm. And yet Jin insists, “No, I’m not very good at anything, and I don’t excel at anything. Those around me don’t agree, but whenever I say this, they’re either appalled, or they try to convince me that I’ve accomplished amazing things. But I still have a hard time accepting that. If someone asked me what my talents were, I wouldn’t have much to say except, ‘I’m a member of BTS’.”

Is this really still the case? Even now, when we would run out of space in Vogue if we listed all of BTS’s achievements? It is hard not to question Jin’s assertion, but at least he is frank. He transparently reveals what he is thinking and feeling. His confidence in saying that he is “handsome wherever he goes in the world” and, conversely, revealing his insecurities without making much of them reveals a healthy sense of self-esteem.

“Plenty of people are more handsome than me. ‘Worldwide Handsome’ is a joke I like to make for laughs,” he says with a laugh of his own. “And there are many people who can sing and dance better than me. I just try hard to achieve a better version of myself, which other people seem to see in me.” This sort of frankness turns into healthy self-love and, eventually, into unaffected positivity. “Everyone is born with a certain talent, right?” he asks. “I think mine is the ability to quickly forget negative things that have happened and recover from mental fatigue.” As to the source of his positive mindset, Jin says: “Well, if you go about your daily routine faithfully, you’ll soon be able to forget and move on.”

It is hard to imagine now, but in BTS’s early days, Jin had little to say. However, Jin gradually began shedding his image as ‘the ice prince’ after being affected by a line from the song ‘Fire’, from the BTS album The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever, released in 2016: “Live however you want, it’s your life. Stop trying, it’s OK to lose.” He began to realise that “there will always be some people who love you and some who don’t” and that criticism is something all celebrities have to deal with. “In the past,” he says, “I used to separate Jin, the BTS member, from the human being Seokjin Kim, to some extent. But now I don’t. How I come across on TV is how I live my life.” Jin says that looking back at his past self makes him wonder: “Why did I live like that?” However, he concedes: “I must have had some idea about how I wanted to live.”

It is not easy to live your life the way you want to without giving in to outside pressure—especially if you are one of the most famous people in the world, receiving attention from fans across the planet and having to meet their expectations. Now, Jin is steadily working toward the goal he set in 2020—“living without thinking”. “It’s definitely not an easy goal,” Jin explains, “because you’re filled with trivial thoughts, like ‘I have to do this tomorrow, I have to do that the day after tomorrow’. I’ve always disliked planning. If you make a plan, you have to stick to it, but I find this difficult, so I tend to be spontaneous, whether going on a trip or whatever. You need to have a framework in your life, but I try to avoid making detailed plans. My head hurts,” he says with a laugh. Joking until the very end, Jin concludes: “I think I’m a little happier these days because I’m living without thinking.”

Source: VOGUE SG

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Cold as Ice - Chapter 52 - Part 1

*Warning - Adult Content*

Wren Ridley

Olivia was shaking her leg as she sat in the passenger seat of my car while we looked for Landon.

The action reminded me of her brother, so much so that I actively tried to block her out of my vision.

I got flashes of Landon sitting in that very seat, doing the very same thing while we looked for Olivia one time a while back.

The tables had turned and the stakes were higher.

Landon was out there alone and injured.

Anything could happen to him if we didn't find him.

Driving around town seemed to be useless.

We had no idea of how he had even gotten here.

I drove around town slowly, thoroughly checking the streets, the sidewalks, looking into the woods and people's yards.

We couldn't find him and it was making us both irritable and anxious.

"I think we should go check at the Hanson's place," Olivia had said, and so we did.

No one was home.

All the lights were out and when I knocked on the door, no one came to answer it.

I even walked around back to where Landon's bedroom was in the house and there were no signs that he was in there.

I eventually resorted to calling hospitals in the area to see if he or anyone with his description, had been admitted.

"Hello, I'm just calling to see if someone named Landon Reilly has been admitted," I said to the third hospital.

"I have reason to believe he would be seeking medical attention but he has been unreachable for a couple hours now."

Generally, hospitals could give you a yes or no on if someone was there but they wouldn't be able to tell me anything about his condition if he was actually at the hospital.

"We don't have a patient by that name," the person on the line said.

"If I give a description, can you tell me if any unidentified patients match?" I asked.

"We do not currently have any unidentified patients but give me a description and we'll be on the look out."

So I gave her a description of Landon and left my number with her in case he turned up there.

I sighed, feeling discouraged, and I could tell Olivia was feeling the same.

I leant my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes, trying to wrack my brain for anywhere he might be.

"Now what?" Olivia cried, causing me to open my eyes and look at her.

"He could be anywhere. He could be passed out. We need to call the police and tell them he's missing so they can search."

"Hold on, let me call one of his friends at school and see if he's there," I told her, grabbing my phone from the cupholder to call Jess.

Jess answered the phone after two rings.

"What's up?" she answered.

I could tell she was at Stella's.

Stella and James were arguing in the background.

"You haven't happened to hear from Landon within the last couple of hours, have you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Aren't you guys, like, not talking?" Jess asked, skeptical.

"I can't tell you that."

"Jess, this is serious," I urged.

"Something happened. I'm here with his sister and we can't find him."

"Wait, what?" Jess asked, sounding alarmed.

"What happened?"

I didn't want to get into it with her.

I had no idea how much Landon had actually told her about his life and I wasn't about to be the one to explain it all to her.

"Look, he's hurt and missing," I said as calmly as possible.

"I need to know if you've talked to him."

"All he said was that something was going on at home and he needed a ride," Jess explained.

"Chris Rojas from the hockey team let him borrow his car."

The name was familiar.

Landon had mentioned him before.

Chris Rojas was the captain of his hockey team, and apparently his friend.

"Can you give me his number?"

"Yeah, hold on, I'll text it to you."

Once I got the phone number, I called Chris.

It rang for a while then eventually went to voicemail.

"Hello, Chris, this is Wren Ridley," I started.

"I'm here with Landon's sister and we're both very worried because we can't find him, so if you could give me a call back and let me know if you've heard from him, that would be great. Thanks, bye."

I let out another long sigh and put my phone down in the cupholder before putting the car back in drive and pulling away from the curb.

"So now we have to just wait for this guy to call us back?" Olivia asked, looking at me with glossy eyes.

"I guess so," I said, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"What was even going on tonight? Why was he there?"

I needed more clarity on the situation and I couldn't bring Olivia back there if it wasn't safe.

Olivia let out a frustrated groan, pulling at her hair.

"It's all my fault," she said, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I wasn't being careful enough and stupid Jimmy found out that I had been talking to Landon and told my dad, so my dad took the iPod Landon gave me and texted Landon pretending to be me and tricked him into coming home to confront him."

"It's not your fault your father is a lunatic," I told her through gritted teeth.

It made me so angry that their father couldn't just let the two of them live.

He had to have control over Olivia, just like he had to have control over Landon when he lived there and now he was angry because he couldn't control Landon anymore but he still tried.

"If I was just more careful, none of this would have happened," Olivia cried into her hands.

"Olivia, listen," I said, gaining her attention.

"This isn't your fault. There is no one to blame for this but your father. We are going to find Landon and he's going to be fine and I know for a fact that he doesn't blame you for any of this."

Olivia sniffled, wiping her face with her hands.

I grimaced.

"I have napkins in the glovebox. Use them," I said.

She rolled her eyes but did as I said anyway.

"Where are we going?" she asked after a few minutes.

"You're going to my house to stay there for the night," I said.

"And I'm going to head back toward Providence to try to find your brother."

"No, I'm coming with you," Olivia snapped, smacking her hand down on the console.

"You can't bench me. I need to find my brother."

"I can't take you to Providence with me. It's getting late and I have nowhere for you to stay there," I argued.

"I don't need anywhere to stay there because we are going to keep looking," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at me like she was daring me to argue back.

I held back another sigh.

It was like talking to my own younger sister.

"Listen, you will be the first person I call if I hear anything, okay?" I assured her.

I couldn't be driving around at odd hours of the night with a fifteen year old girl.

If her parents actually did call the cops that would look all sorts of suspicious and I didn't want to get involved with that.

At least this way she would have a safe place to stay and the cover of it seeming like a sleepover with Fawn.

"I have a sister your age, you know," I told her as she continued staring at me with her eyebrows raised.

"You two are a lot alike. So hang out with her for a bit and I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine," Olivia relented, looking down at her lap.

We were quiet for the rest of the ride to my house.

When we pulled up the driveway, most of the lights were out in the house.

The living room light was off but there was a bluish glow from the television.

Fawn's bedroom was right above the living room and her light was still on.

"Come on," I said to Olivia as I shut the car off.

I led her up the driveway and the porch steps before walking into the house.

I walked in the living room to see my parents both looking at the doorway with confused expressions.

"Oh, hello," Dad said with a wave, looking at Olivia.

Mom stood up from the couch and walked over to us.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, her confusion turning into concern.

"This is Olivia, she is going to have a sleepover with Fawn," I said before walking to the stairs.

"Fawn, can you come down here, please."

Two sets of footsteps were heard above the living room and Fawn and Ava came out of the bedroom and stood at the top of the stairs.

"What are you even doing here?" Fawn questioned with a glare.

I motioned for Olivia to come to the stairs.

She came to stand beside me.

Well, she was actually standing a little behind me as if she was scared.

I felt a little bad for her.

She had a rough night but I didn't know how to comfort her.

I was hoping spending time with some girls her age would help her.

"I have a friend for you to add to your little get together, sound good?" I said.

Fawn's glare softened when she saw Olivia and she walked down the steps to meet us at the bottom.

"Sure, we have room for one more," she said, glancing at Olivia.

"Fawn, this is Olivia, Olivia this is Fawn," I introduced, slightly nudging Olivia toward the stairs.

"Wren," Olivia called out, looking back at me like she was wounded.

I put on what I hoped was a genuine smile for her.

"I'll be back tomorrow, I promise," I told her, squeezing her shoulder.

"And I'll have your brother with me."

Olivia nodded and looked back toward Fawn who held out her hand to her.

"Come on, Ava and I were just about to watch a movie," Fawn said, grabbing Olivia's hand.

"You can borrow some of my pajamas," and then Olivia was whisked off by my sister.

"Do you want to explain what's going on?" Mom asked, causing me to turn around and face her.

She wasn't angry but by the look of her she was extremely concerned.

Dad was too but his concern always caused him to shut down a little.

"She just needs a place to stay for now," I said, walking toward her.

"Her home situation isn't good."

"How do you know this girl?" Mom asked.

"She's Landon's sister," I replied, looking down at the floor.

"Landon's hurt and missing."

My mom gasped and my eyes moved from the floor to her.

She held a hand on her chest, her eyes wide.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you some other time," I rushed out, moving toward the door.

"But I really have to go."

"Wren, honey, let us help," Mom said, grabbing my arm.

"You're already helping by letting Olivia stay here," I said with a weak smile.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

I dashed out of the house before she could say anything else.

All my focus now was on finding Landon.

Without Olivia, I could stay out longer and cover more ground without having to worry about getting arrested for kidnapping.

Then once Landon was found, we could figure out what to do about Olivia's living situation.

She couldn't stay there with such an abusive, violent man.

I started my car and backed out of the driveway, continuing my search for Landon.