#i fully did not remember my dream at all for most of this morning but GODS have I had the worst migraine

[kyetalksshit]

my dream last night was chaotic and difficult and I only remember glimpses. I was just reminded of a moment with thorns because I was checking my rune app and it mentioned poems that talked about thorns.

so I remember at one point traversing some kind of land to get... somewhere? (will go deeper in a sec) and I have this very vivid memory of, in my dream, accidentally touching thorns and getting them stuck on my right hand. it was very painful (and I almost remember physically feeling it...) and the people I was traveling with (p sure one was my cousin crystal) had to stop and turn back to help me. I unstuck the thorns from my hand as best as I could and met them halfway, incredibly distressed, but there were still thorn slivers that were stuck in my finger, and not only that but somehow the base of that finger and also a part of my wrist were wrapped super tight and cutting off circulation and physically warping my skin, even though it was just thorns. the people I was with (again, my cousin I think and maybe my little sister?) tried for a second to help but there was some kind of sound that alerted us to danger and that we had to keep going and rush to our destination, and only once we were hidden could they help get it off. so we're running and I just keep staring at my hand and freaking out and being upset that I can't detangle it myself because I can't even see the strings that are wrapped around my finger and wrist cutting off circulation. like the thorns suck but I can get those out later, these strings could make me lose my entire finger or hand???

i remember at some point getting to a safe spot (not to our destination but a hideout of sorts) and crystal (?) turned to me and explained that the thorns I touched shoot out strings of cotton when someone gets stuck in them, like a defense mechanism. she was going to try to help me detangle them but something happened that she had to focus on. but after she told me about the cotton I suddenly could see the strands I couldn't see before? it looked like a spiderweb at its thinnest, but as I started to gently unravel myself, it started to look more like floss. as it turned out, there was even more than what was just cutting off my circulation, there was also some draped around my shoulders and wrapped lightly around my arm before the intense wraps around my finger and wrist. but I DID finally get myself free before we continued on.

before that, I remember being on the interstate in a hay bale ride type thing? it was flatter than that but that's the closest I can describe it as. and I (and the few other people riding there with me) was laying flat and gripping onto the sides. weirdly, it was also on the front end of the truck which doesn't make any sense to me but yk. and at one point my cousin crystal was in a drone plane above me. I saw it and thought "omg that's probably crystal lol" but didn't say anything bc I was in a flat truck bed on the interstate, but then she backed up and I saw a camera come out and look down at me. knowing it was her, I risked letting go of the bar for a second to wave at her, and she waved back and then the dumbass just jumped straight to the road from her drone plane (which... either disappeared or had other people in it that flew it away? idk lol) and I was like whAT ARE YOU DOING YOURE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED BRO and she ran and hopped on the truck bed with me and the strangers I was on. not sure what exactly happened right after that,

but at some point I met up with family and also was waiting for a car to be given to me. I also was dressed up in business clothes and about to apply for a clerical job inside the brick building in the parking lot I saw everybody in. I was on my way inside when my car was delivered, so I walked back and then drove it into the parking spot beside my mom's car, but it kept turning funny so I kept trying and got it parked before going inside. my mom said she'd meet me at her house. when I opened the door to the building though the lights were off and I almost closed the door right back behind myself except I saw someone in there look up at me. so I opened it back up (it looked like grandma earley's house) and apologized and said why I was there. they told me to come on in. the lights stayed off but we did do an interview. I don't remember if I got the job or was told to wait or what, but it was time to leave and meet my mom at her house. I believe I completely forgot about my new car or maybe it disappeared I'm not sure, but I started walking and crystal was there again, and i'm pretty sure my little sister appeared shortly after as well to walk with us. I don't know when it turned into a run, but it may have had something to do with the weather?

although at some point I was in a truck (can't remember if I was driving or not but I think I might have been) with Heather and crystal, and we were looking for somebody specific. I'm not sure who irl but I knew them in my dream and it was very hush hush but we had to deliver a message to them or something. so we went to the meeting spot we all knew of behind a shack of a house, and when we didn't see them, we walked down the sidewalk to the place that they were supposed to be living. but the woman who answered the door didn't know who we were talking about, but she let us in anyway. the house was a bit of a maze and it was very... like political intrigue meets supernatural lol it was a dangerous place to be in and after a little while we were sure it was just a ruse and we had to escape from there. I think after that is when I got stuck on thorns while we were running.

anyway fast forward to after I unraveled myself from the "cotton" from the thorns, we go a bit further and FINALLY find my mom's house. when we get there and get inside, my mom is like omg I was worried about you getting here in this snow! and it had been a warm California day lol so we were like snow?????? and she opened the curtains to the picture window in the living room and sure as shit it was a full foot + of snow outside. she had her books out and some coffee and said something about how harsh and cold it is outside and how much she loves it. I just remember seeing the snow covering up a bag of garbage, and then looking up to stare at the icy tree branches. at one point I even tried to brush some of the snow off the front porch (we somehow entered through the back door or a side door that doesn't actually exist idk it was almost like we opened a door to a different house but the door was a portal and we just appeared at my mom's) but even though a little bit fell, I didn't actually make a dent.

and then I woke up.

[moonbakeries]

HOW I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE IN A WEEK

BACKSTORY

So I decided to fully immerse myself in "persisting" and fulfilling when I listened to Lonely one by LOVA because I spent around an hour just sobbing because I related to the song.

the week that I started was around Easter break and I was under the most amount of stress I have ever been through and I could see it the effects on my body

I was breaking out with huge pimples even though I was on accutane, I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a day every week for 2 weeks, my period had going on for 2 weeks, I was losing weight rapidly (was under 35kg:( ) my anxiety was at an all time high because I got harassed again(sexual assault victim). I used to have severe depression and have had multiple failed attempts of suicide. AND YES I WAS DESPERATE AS FUCK TO MANIFEST THIS DREAM LIFE OF MINE WHICH IS NO LONGER A DREAM

in the mornings I would be super anxious but I learned how to deal with it and get myself into the state super easily

HOW I DID IT

I GOT OFF TUMBLR: you know how many times I doubted myself only to realise I was doing everything right

I also read and listened to Edward Art MULTIPLE TIMES

Within a week of fulfilling and persisting, I had manifested my dream life. just like that. I woke up one morning and everything I had ever desired was right there. and it was super easy.

all I did was affirm(to remind not to get), visualise and feel. I would only do these methods if I wanted to, if I didn't I wouldn't.

Within a few days, the anxiety lessened so much and it started to feel natural. 

this was a question on Bambi's " how I manifested with hard circumstances " post which has now been sadly deleted but I remember copying this because it gave me hope at the time I copied it (don't hope, just know)

"But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?” you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track.  I rant for 2% of my 24 hour days. The other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and I felt more at ease. I held onto that feeling because I knew this was when I would get my desires and I did."

and that was when I knew I shouldn't give up and I just kept going even when I wanted myself to just get on tumblr and overconsume 

I actually nearly decided to see what I was "doing wrong". I clicked on one of Aphrodite's posts but I didn't read it. I just asked myself if I would look through it if I had my desires and I wouldn't and since I already have all of my desires I didn't.

Whenever the anxiety was too strong and I could feel the frustration and desperation building up, I would just rant and it helped me calm down and get back into the state super easily.

why?

because STATES MANIFEST THOUGHTS DON'T

which is why you can rant.

you know how many FUCKING DOUBTS I had, but I didn't even give them attention coz they didn't deserve any and how many times I wanted to just give up, but I was like NO, STFU, I DON'T WANNA LIVE MISERABLY ANYMORE and now I'm not :)

The affirmations I used:

It is done

I am living my dream life

I am in my desired reality

The 3d will conform as long as i keep persisting

Imagination is the real reality

I also daydreamed, but since imagination is the real reality they were real

WHAT I MANIFESTED

- desired appearance

- name change

- family change

- skills (drivers licence etc)

- apartment and furniture

- wealth

- a bunch of random materialistic things

- desired friend group (I absolutely love them!)

- desired uni and always getting good grades

- outfits from pinterest

and a bunch of other things

- I also ended up manifesting an sp without even knowing and he's pretty much I everything I scripted him to be(scripted a year ago because I didn't really care for a relationship) but this happened before I manifested my dream life

after a year and half of being on loablr I finally manifested my dream life. and you can too

(there was probably over 100 things I wanted but I realised what I want is not much, nothing ever is when you know about loa and yes, i was super desperate)

you don't need anymore information other than @angelsinluv states post and fulfillment challenge

you shouldn't ever be stressed or worried while manifesting whatever you want, because you wouldn't stress if you had it

TAKE YOUR TIME

YOU GOT THIS

[iamasaddie]

tired

paring: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: explicit warnings: explicit sexual content, unspecified age gap, reader has hair that you can run your fingers through, no use of Y/N, UNEDITED a/n: fully inspired by this post @bonezone44 dared to put out so i thank them for basically punching me out of the no-writing period of my life <3 and also thank you to people who've been tagging me in multiple wip challenges and fic games, especially @milla-frenchy and @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog <3 you reminded me that i was indeed an author a million years ago word count: 2.6k masterlist

Joel was tired. His back was hurting from helping Tommy fix up his roof, his knees were aching from climbing up and down that goddamn ladder that he could swore was ready to break at any second. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a night where he could just relax. Throw his body somewhere in his house and have someone take care of it. 

Now that Ellie was building her adult life with Dina, their place - his place - now felt like just a roof over his head, all the homeyness gone with the girl that almost single-handedly owned his sharp and rusty heart.  

Joel squeezed his eyes shut, dry fingertips running over the lids. He did not want to go home and fall asleep on the couch, cursing everything the world stands on the next morning when he needs to fight the tears of pain with every back spasm he gets. No, he needed someone to take care of him, to give him something good, god knows he’s given these people more than enough over these past years. But, Joel sighed to himself, scrunching his nose as his eyes fell on the dirty knees of his jeans, he was not in shape of wining and dining women tonight. 

That’s what you need casual connections for, old idiot, he chuckled to himself, remembering a few times he had to spell it out for some ladies that he wasn’t interested.

You practically jumped on a stool next to him while he was still considering his options.

“Hey, Joel, long night?” 

Of course you’d be the first to ask about his day. Little miss sunshine. Well, at least that’s what he thought at first, before seeing you mercilessly killing a couple of infected villagers that weren’t careful enough on the patrol. Still, you were as syrupy sweet as honey on a fresh batch of pancakes when it came to him. The only one who didn’t cringe when he said his firm “no, thanks”. The only one who didn’t actually take his no for an answer.

You never actually threw yourself at him, but Joel learned what desire looks like and you were too young to learn how to mask it properly. 

“Hey, kid.” He nodded, he knew how much you hated the nickname because it put even a bigger barrier between the two of you.

“Told you not to call me that, I’m only—“

“Twenty something years younger than me? Yeah.”

He saw your lips hiding in a thin line, your unbreakable spirit was too fragile when it came to him. Joel must’ve gone soft, or insane, because he nudged your shoulder with his, making you lift your head up and look him in the eyes.

“Tommy’s roof’s been a pain in the ass to fix. It’d be easier to burn that place down and build a new one, but my brother is as stubborn as them mules he’s been dreaming to have.”

You huffed a laugh, palm squeezing the slippery glass that was now empty a little too hard. “You know,” you started, shyness verging with hope that you tried to sheath with a nonchalant tone. Joel knew. And for the first time in years he actually contemplated, nodding to you to continue. “I could help you relax, I sometimes give massages in the hospital. It can really help with back pain.”

He purposefully kept silent, looking you in the eyes and trying to make you go back on your proposal. But as he knew already, you were no less stubborn than his little brother. It was karma or something that the only people that were semi-constant in his life were the ones who’d rather kiss an infected than give up. 

Joel wasn’t exactly tortured with his conscience, he didn’t seduce you, and most of the old world morals have died already, so the age gap the size of an adult child didn’t bother him either. He was almost glad you tried again, he just needs to make sure you know it’s not something it isn’t. 

“Yeah, my back’s been hurtin’ pretty bad today.” He finished his drink not tearing his eyes off you, and then he slowly let them trace your lips, the naked expanse of your neck that you showed off by unbuttoning a couple of buttons on your shirt. He looked lower, noticing your breasts rise and fall faster under his unmasked gaze. 

“Wanna go now?” Your voice was breathless like you’d just ran a marathon. He wondered how you’d sound later tonight. 

“Sure, darlin’. Lead the way.”

You never said anything when Joel strode past the hospital shack, not even slowing his pace. He was saying something about the roof again but it was hard to understand through the blood pumping jungle beats in your ears. 

You kept nodding and humming in agreement, though you couldn’t quite process the words. As you followed him, the anticipation gnawed at you, every step closer tightening the knot in your stomach. You knew he was taking you home, well, he was taking you to his house, and you went too slow for the amount of times that you dreamed to step over his doorstep. Joel's house was small and dimly lit, for some reason it was exactly how you imagined it: homey in spite of the circumstances. Joel took off his jacket silently, the faint smell of cedar and something musky filled the air, mingling with his earthy scent. He turned to face you, those piercing eyes locking onto yours.

“You gonna give me a massage wearing this?” He pointed at the warm coat you put on in a hurry as you were leaving the bar. Your fingers stumbled over each other as you tried to open the buttons of the damn thing. You felt a flush of warmth rise to your cheeks under his scrutiny.

Your fingers touched as you gave him your coat, but there was no electricity, his fingers were rough and scratched your skin, your palm became sweaty and you hurried to wipe it on your jeans when he didn’t look.

“Let’s go, bedroom’s upstairs,” his voice was low and calm, somehow its vibrations helped you settle, grounded you. You gave him a quick smile and followed his broad figure. Every stair squeaked under his heavy footsteps, you looked like a mouse that was chasing a bear. Willingly. The bedroom door creaked open to reveal a space just as humble as the rest of the house. A couple of drawings in handmade frames, a chair with a pair of pants on it, and the bed. Your eyes were glued to it. The bed and its tangled sheets seemed inviting, though a wave of nerves prickled your spine. ‘You’re here to give him a massage, don’t get ahead of yourself’ you thought, teeth sinking in your lower lip. You weren’t too young or naive to think that a massage was all this night would end with, but such a quick change of heart in Joel made you doubt your every breath. 

When you brought your eyes back to the man you saw him studying you, you could swear a nervous tick clenched his jaw but you didn’t let yourself ponder on it.

“I’m gonna rip the bandaid off and say it as it is, okay, pretty girl?”

Your breath hitched. Joel stepped closer, his eyes steadily holding yours. You nodded, not trusting your voice. His gaze was intense, making your heart hammer loudly enough to be heard.

"Massage ain’t exactly the thing I took ya here for,” Joel admitted, eyes dark, voice raw with honesty. “If you catch my drift.”

“I��” You cleared your throat, you wanted to look confident, or at least not scared. You’ve wanted to get into this man’s bed for months now, imagined how and when and what, and now that it happens you can barely squeeze out a, “yeah, of course I do.”

Joel smiled, one of his hands flying to cup your jaw as he brought his lips closer to yours and you closed your eyes in anticipation of his soft skin on yours. “Good girl,” the remnants of his wet breath stained your lips.

As quickly as he came at you, he left. His pace was languid when he worked on taking off his jeans, leaving himself in a ridiculous attire of a flannel shirt, a t-shirt underneath and simple cotton boxers.

You bit your lip, suppressing a giggle at the sight. His eyes snagged on your smile, sharpening with mischief. Joel raised an eyebrow, catching your amusement. “What’s so funny, darlin’?”

“Nothing,” your cheeks felt extra hot and you were glad for the poor lighting in the bedroom. “Lay on your back, please. As I said before, I’d like to help you relax.”

Joel held your gaze for a hot minute, but then silently followed your order. “I’d maybe argue any other day, but not now, sweetheart. Today I’ll take all the care I can get,” he smiled, but you missed the warm gesture. He laid back, his head hitting the pillow, long curls that he had left to grow splayed around the back of his head. You were too focused, letting your hands wander over his chest, feeling the texture of his shirt and the years of safer life that he was hiding underneath had grown out brushing against the fabric. You moved your fingers lightly over his chest, watching his eyes flutter closed.

His hands blindly found yours, hardened blisters of his palms scraped your soft skin, and he pushed your hands lower, somewhere you didn’t dare look for too long.

“Don’t be shy, babygirl,” he muttered with his eyes still closed. You let him guide you. You could feel the tension in his muscles, the rigidity slowly melting away under your touch. 

You remembered him talking about ripping a bandage off, so you followed his philosophy, hooking your fingers under the elastic of his boxers and tugging the material down. As the cool air grazed his skin, he released a slow, shuddering breath. It felt like something forced you to lift your head up, you met his gaze and saw a flicker of softness and gratefulness in his eyes.

“This okay?” You whispered, hands already exploring the places your eyes were too shy to inspect.

“More than,” Joel’s voice was calm, breathing barely indicating the intimate setting you were in. His eyes fell shut again and a part of you thought that was only to give you more freedom, save you from his scrutiny. You noticed the slight hitch in his breath with each new touch, his body responding to your feathery strokes.

When your fingertips grazed the hot skin covered in coarse hair you couldn’t help but look. Even in half darkness it was easy to see that Joel was well-endowed and eager. His cock laid on the pillow of his pubic hair, the shaft slightly curved. Pink tip was glistening with precum and you wondered if you got him excited or the promise of future pleasure. Your left hand was resting on his hip when as if hypnotized you traced your index finger from his tip to where his base was covered in sparse graying curls.

Joel’s cock jumped to attention, twitching under your light touch, prompting you to close your fist around it which you immediately did. With the first tug on the velvety soft skin both of you released a moan.

“Spit on it, baby, make it wet,” Joel’s voice was relaxed, as if you put your hand on a muscle that was aching for days and relieved the pain.

Your short nails dug into his hip when you started contemplating how to do it. You weren’t completely innocent, far from it, but somehow you could count on the fingers of one hand the amount of times you needed to spit during sex. Deciding against spitting in your own palm, you took a different position, scooting lower down the bed and hunching over Joel’s waiting cock. The moment the smell of his skin and sweat hit your nose it was like you were intoxicated. Your lips closed around his flushed tip, tongue diving to get more of his taste. Both of your hands settled on his hips, either to hold him down or find balance. You abandoned the idea of spitting, the thought of not having his cock in your mouth almost pained you. It was like this was the grand finale of your romantic labor. Here, on your knees between the legs of a man who was holding you at arm's length for the longest time. It shouldn’t have felt so good, but it did. Taking care of him, even in this basic, primal way, felt like taking care of yourself.

Your wet mouth slid further down, the thick shaft of Joel’s cock stretching your lips. It took you a moment to realize Joel’s hands were in your hair. For a moment you thought he wanted you to stop, you even started to lift off, but the firm pressure of his hand on your head made it clear that he wasn’t against this turn of events. You let yourself build up to a comfortable taste, exploring each centimeter of his skin in your mouth, the way a couple of veins bulged under your tongue, the ridge of the head pushing further in your throat. You didn’t hurry and neither did he. You savored the slow rhythm of push and pull, letting him go deeper with every thrust.

One of his hands left your head and you raised your eyes to Joel’s face, mouth still very occupied with his cock. He must have felt it, because he barely lifted his head off the pillow, stray curls sticking to his sweaty forehead and you could swear you saw him wink at you before he laid his head back, using the freed hand to tuck away long strands of hair behind his ear.

The picture of this man, always so rough and guarded, finally relaxing under your touch and shedding the years of hostility made you drunker than any booze Tommy could’ve offered. Your movements became faster, saliva dripping down his cock and making it glisten. You felt Joel’s hips tense under your palms and you didn’t even need to hear the shameless moans drowned by your excitement and the sloppy wet sounds to know he was close.

“Doin’ good for me, baby, doin’ real good,” he groaned as you felt the tip of his cock punch the back of your throat repeatedly. Your eyes watered, but you admitted to yourself that you would rather suffocate and die than let the cock of this man out of your mouth. Your jaw was aching, the pleasurable pain that said how good of a job you did. 

The shaft under your tongue felt even harder, a loaded gun pressing on your tongue and you couldn’t wait for it to shoot.

Both of Joel’s hands returned to your head pressing you into his skin so hard that little hairs tickled your nose and your vision started to go blurry.

His load was salty and thick, you felt it slide down your throat like lava, burning you from the inside. Barely catching your breath you sat straight, watching closely how Joel’s chest rose and fell following his erratic breathing. There was an indecent amount of wetness gathered in the gusset of your panties and by the look on Joel’s face you knew you’d have to handle it yourself.

“Feeling good?” Your voice sounded weird, hoarse and raspy in the gritty silence of the room.

“You’re really good at massage, darlin’, I’m more relaxed than the day I was born,” Joel held his gaze on you, using his shoulder to scratch the underside of his jaw. You took it as your key to leave, after all, you never agreed to anything more.

Joel’s voice stopped you with one foot over the doorstep.

“Maybe I could return the favor some time.”

[elllisaaa]

how seventeen would confess to you - hhu vers.

-> pairing : svt hhu × gn!reader

-> words count : 2.9k words

-> genre : svt members crushing on you, fluff

-> warnings : while make you giggle and kick your feet

-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | svt masterlist

hhu vers. | vu vers. | pu vers.

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL - INTIMATE

cuddles, cuddles, cuddles !

once he tackled you on the couch or bed and you’re in his arms, you’re not getting up for at least an hour. 

watching long shows together, and you’re forbidden from watching even one episode without him, or he’ll get so pouty. 

big golden retriever energy, he’s always so smiley around you.

but also big on protecting you.

he’s the type to say “dress how you want, i can fight”, and he will definitely fight if needed.

always has an arm around you, making you feel safe in every situation

since both of you are friends since as far as you can remember, he’s like another member of your family.

i can literally picture your aunts asking you when you’re gonna marry him at every gathering lmao

with all of that, the line between friendly and romantic feelings is blurred, but cheol wished he had the courage to fully cross it. 

however, everyone and their mothers knew about his big crush on you, and about yours on him. 

his confession would be so domestic crying because i’m lonely. 

It wasn’t uncommon for you to cross paths with Seungcheol late at night. Just like you, he often got thirsty and you always ended up staying in the kitchen until the early hours of morning, and being sleepy at the family gathering. And this time was not different. Well, it was, in fact, a bit different. You had been aboard for the past year and only got back to Korea a few weeks before, so both of you hadn’t really seen each other and you had a lot to catch up on about your lives. 

“- And after that, this bitch didn’t even dare to look me in the eyes for the rest of the year ! Can you believe this ?

- I don’t like to judge people I don’t know, but she’s indeed a bitch.”

Both of you bursted out in laughter, and your heart felt warmer again. It was as if you were finally complete again. Being away from Seungcheol when he had been by your side for the majority of your life was the most difficult thing you ever had to do, and feeling him slip through your fingers as he started to respond less was horrible. He apologized so many times about how busy he was, and you knew it was not his fault, but still, you just wanted to be back home, back in his arms. 

“- Yeah, she definitely is.”

You landed your head on his shoulder with a smile, and Seungcheol feared that you would hear how fast his heart was beating. He was happy for you when you announced to him that you had the opportunity to go aboard for your studies, and he was immensely proud of you. But at the same time, all he wanted to do was convince you to not go and keep you forever with him. But he was only your best friend, and he couldn’t ask you to give up on your dreams for him. But he wished he could be your boyfriend instead. 

“- I have something to confess…”

You lifted your head from his shoulder, looking at him as you waited for his next words. Seungcheol eyes’ dived into yours, and he just knew. He knew that this was the right time, that the particular atmosphere surrounding the two of you would certainly never arise again. He had to do it now.

“- The day you left, I came to say goodbye at the airport, remember ?”

You nobbed. How could you not ? He had engulfed you in a big hug  that made you want to stay, and left you with teary eyes as you got on your flight.

“- I never told you what I did after. I drove off to the park we always played at when we were kids, and I cried on the swings for maybe two hours because all I could think about was that you were not with me. And it felt so wrong.”

Your right hand found purchase on his cheek, forcing him to look down at you as he consciously avoided your eyes since he started to tell you his little story. But your soft smile was the only reassurance he needed.

“- It felt wrong being away from you too. I missed you so much Cheol…

- Me too…”

And just like that, you both leaned in at the same time, your lips meeting in between and suddenly, everything felt right again, as if it was where you were supposed to be - in each other arms. 

“next time i’m squeezing myself in your luggage, i don’t want to spend another night without you in my arms.”

JEON WONWOO - SIMPLE

i don’t know how to explain it, but I’m sure you’ll get it when I say that this man is the definition of soft. 

he’s so cozy, every one of his hugs feels like a warm cocoon (that’s why you always find an excuse to get a hug).

very good at giving advice, and a good listener, he’s always there when you need a shoulder to cry on. 

you were friends with the other members at first, but slowly, you started to grow closer when he discovered how sweet and lovely you were. 

the more he talked with you, the more he found himself hooked.

literally has heart eyes for you (everyone and their mothers know about his crush on you) and would drop everything if you need him.

of course, he’ll be more than happy if you agreed to play video games with him, it doesn’t matter if you’re good at it or not 

it’s even better if you never played, he’ll have an excuse to make you sit on his lap while he teaches you how to use the controller. 

but in the end, he’s a simple guy, and he doesn’t see the point of hiding his crush for too long, but he also wants his confession to be meaningful. 

The boys had organized a big party for your birthday this year, and surprisingly, they succeeded at keeping it a secret until tonight. And the past months spent trying to perfect every little detail was worth it when they saw the big smile on your face and your teary eyes when you recognized your friends and family as you walked through the room. 

And even if Wonwoo couldn’t be more happy than seeing you wander around, laughing and smiling non-stop, he felt a weight on his heart. He wanted to steal you away from all these people, have you all for himself and finally tell you how he felt about you, finally tell you how glad he was to have you in his life. But he couldn’t, and he would never do that. He was just waiting patiently for your eyes to meet in the crowd, and for you to smile brightly at him. Every time you did that, his heart beat faster. 

“- Finally ! I’m so happy that everyone came, but I’m exhausted !

- I can imagine, you’ve been running around the whole night.”

You sighed dramatically as you seated yourself on the couch next to Wonwoo, resting your head on his shoulder. Like a habit, he put his arms around you, bringing you closer to him, just because you were so comfortable around each other that everyone else thought you were already dating. 

“- It’s the best surprise of my life. You guys are my favorites. Thank you for doing this for me.

- You deserved it, that and all the presents we prepared for you.”

You lifted your head from his shoulder, looking at him with a sparkle of curiosity in your eyes. 

“- And what’s yours Wonwoo ?”

He had planned to do it later, when everyone would have left, when he’ll have a moment alone with you. But if this wasn’t a sign that he had to do it now, he didn’t know what it was.

“- It’s not something material. It’s more… Spiritual I’ll say.

- It’s intriguing, tell me what it is.

- My heart. I’m offering you my heart, because you already have it, you did for a long time now, and I wanted to let you know, just in case you were feeling the same about me.”

Wonwoo knew how emotional you could get, but he didn’t expect you to cry from his confession. Still, he wiped your tears away, waiting for you to calm down with a soft smile on his face.

“- I feel the same, I’ve been feeling the same for so long. You have my heart too.”

“I’ll take care of it, I promise. I’ll always protect you.”

KIM MINGYU - JOYFUL

100% golden retriever energy

you would often tease him along with the members (because we all know that seventeen ultimate goal is to make fun of mingyu)

partner privilege : would not get as pouty as with his members, all it takes is a smile from you and you’re forgiven.

however, when you tease him about how being so muscular but so afraid of everything is a shame, he’ll be like a child throwing a tantrum. 

pouting until you compliment him (and cannot stop blushing once you do, he’s so cute someone help me).

tries to impress you all the time by flexing his muscles, showing how strong he is. 

he’s so obvious please, this boy cannot hide his love for you.

follows you everywhere like a lost puppy, just in case you need him (he’s adorable).

he feels so comfortable around you because beyond all the teasing, you’re very understanding and kind. 

you’re always here to remind him how amazing he is every time he doubts himself. 

and because he feels so comfortable around you, his confession would slip like it was the most natural thing ever. 

Mingyu always had a tendency to show off his skills whenever you were in the same room as him. Yes, he felt an incredible ego boost when you complimented him about his muscles, but what he took real pride in was how much he was able to make you laugh. He always feared that his jokes were lame, or just not your type of humor, but every time he cracked one, you bursted into giggles. And by the way you were beaming, there was no way that you were faking it. 

And he always managed to make you laugh in all types of situations, chuckling and resisting the urge of kicking his feet like a teenager everytime you hitted his shoulder playfully as you tried to contain your own giggles. Mingyu was addicted to the way your eyes were glowing with joy everytime you just smiled. However, he discovered that the easiest way to get you to laugh was to tell you all the stupid things his members did. Like now, as you were crying from how funny you found the story of Seungkwan volley ball. 

“- He really only discovered it when he saw that video ?

- Yeah, really ! You should’ve seen the betrayal in his eyes, it was priceless !”

And you were laughing again, your head thrown back, tears almost spilling out of your eyes. But Mingyu wasn’t laughing anymore, too lost in his contemplation, because you were literally a work of art to him. Every single detail about you was perfect, the more he discovered, the more he wanted to be yours.

“- Your smile is so beautiful, gosh… I love you so much…”

The melody of your giggles died as soon as you registered the meaning of his words. Silence enveloped the both of you as you stared at him as if you were trying to enter his mind and find all the answers to your questions. And Mingyu was forcing himself to keep his mouth shut, and not embarrass himself further, already cursing himself in his head for being so careless.

“- Wha- What did you say ?”

Mingyu was too focused on his overthinking to notice the little grin spreading on your lips. Of course, you already knew that he had a crush on you. Of course, you had a crush on him too because who doesn’t ? And of course, it was very cute to watch him stumble over his words with red cheeks. 

“- I-I said that you have a beautiful smile…

- And after that ?

- Don’t want to tell you.”

You giggled as you leaned in to peck his warm cheeks, restraining yourself from going in for his pouty lips too.

“- Well, just know that I love you so much too Gyu.”

“see, you heard it perfectly ! but i’ll tell you a hundred times if you want me to.”

CHWE HANSOL - BRIGHT

he’s so random, like one minute he could joke along with you and the other he’s asking you the most existential question possible, fully serious about it. 

like we say vernon is just vernoning in the most vernon way possible. 

he's very chill about pretty much everything so it's really soothing to be around him.

he's your go-to person when you want to isolate yourself from the rest of the world because you could spend evenings just watching tv and not saying a word to each other

there's also times where both of you end up talking about your lives until the early hours of the morning. 

your relationship feels like it's all natural, there has never been an awkward state, only comfort. 

it's like hansol had known you for years because he felt so at ease every time you were with him. 

you made him feel like he was special and normal at the same time, and even if he doesn't show it often, he really appreciates it. 

you two liked to stay inside so it was rare for you to go out somewhere, but it was always unexpected and when it happened. 

hansol knew that you liked to be surprised, and often showed up on his days off to take you somewhere without telling you.

that's why you weren't shocked when he picked you up at 5 in the morning, on a random Sunday. 

“- Can I at least choose the music ?

- Go on.”

Hansol handed you his phone which was connected to the speakers of his car, letting you put on whatever song you wanted. He owed you this with how early he forced you to get out of bed on one of your days off. But he really wanted to take you to this spot he loved. He played it off as one of his random wishes, but he planned this in his mind for a long time, not all the details, but he knew he wanted to bring you there to tell you how he felt. 

He watched with a small smile on his lips as you opened the window, one of your favorite songs playing as you let the wind hit your face and make your hair fly all over your face. Hansol quickly focused on the road again, seeing that he was near your destination, he asked you to close your eyes.

“- Are we there ?

- Almost.”

The rest of the way was quiet, a comfortable silence settling between the two of you. When you finally felt that Hansol had stopped the car, you heard him go out of the driver seat to get to your side and help you get out too, ordering you to keep your eyes closed. He pushed you to take some steps forward before he finally authorized you to see what was in front of you.

“- You took me to the ocean ?”

You didn’t even turn around to look at him, too entranced by the sight in front of you. And all Hansol could do was smile when he saw how parkly your eyes were. 

“- I guess that I wanted you to see the sunset.”

You were rather speechless as Hansol got a blanket out of his car, leading you to the beach for you two to watch the sunrise on the horizon. He contemplated you as you ran around, touching the water to see if it was cold or not before finally sitting down beside him, your head finding his place on his shoulder, and his arms around yours.

“- Thank you for bringing me there… It’s beautiful…

- I wanted to make it special.”

Before you could even ask him what he was talking about, Hansol leaned in, his eyes fixed on your lips, and yours on his. Basking in the warm light of the sunset, he kissed you for the first time but certainly not the last, a smile spreading on his face as he rested his forehead against yours. 

“i think i could get used to this.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my works.

svt taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@lil-kpopstan @hann1bee @iraisswiftie

[jgracie]

LOVE GROWS (WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES) — PERCY + CHILD OF DEMETER

masterlist | rules

❝ Hiya,can i request if you have time,Percy dating a Demeter kid?Thank you💕 ❞ — anon

in which percy dates a child of demeter

pairing percy jackson x demeter!reader

warnings me projecting as a child of demeter LOL, one swear word

on the radio . . . love grows (where my rosemary goes) (edison lighthouse)

an never stop requesting demeter!reader guys (i live vicariously through her) also this features another travis cameo LOL him and percy are bffs in my head ALSO the watering can thing is inspired by stardew valley i cannot wait for the day i get to upgrade to sprinklers

Percy’s never been a morning person. However, he has been forced awake at ungodly times due to nightmares

This was one of those times. He could barely remember what the dream was about, all he knew was that it was bad enough for him to wake with a start, his body drenched in sweat as he tried to recollect himself

Looking over at the clock on his bedside table, Percy could barely make out the time: 5:35AM. Well, there was no point going back to sleep now. Even if he did, he’d probably just be visited by nightmares again

So, Percy slipped the nearest t-shirt on and left his cabin, unsure of where he was heading - maybe the beach to cool off? Who knows, he was in disarray. The worst dreams were always the ones you couldn’t remember, the fear of them possibly being important haunting your day

Suddenly, Percy smelt a comforting scent waft through the air. He’d never smelt anything like that before. It couldn’t be ambrosia or nectar - while they both had good scents, they weren’t half as strong as this one. What could it be?

He decided to follow his instinct and find where the smell was coming from. Which led him to cabin 4

Despite it being right across from his own, Percy never paid cabin 4 much attention. Not until now

He continued following the scent and ended up at the back of the cabin, where there was a huge garden filled with what Percy believed to be the most appetising fruits and vegetables he’s ever seen. To the side, there was a greenhouse, where he could see the silhouette of a person

Curious, Percy made his way over to the greenhouse. He’d never spoken to a Demeter kid before, but he’d heard of your nurturing nature and kind hearts in passing

“It’s okay, Cassie, you can go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise,” Percy heard a voice say, stopping in his tracks. Deciding to take a peek, he found himself facing an angel

You were rocking a young girl who seemed to be six years old at most back to sleep in your arms. Wherever you went, the flowers in the greenhouse bloomed brighter, gravitating towards you and wrapping their stems around your arms, almost as if they were vying for your attention

The girl’s face was tear-streaked, but she nodded, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You smiled and ran your fingers through her hair, praying to your mother that she wouldn’t have another nightmare

You hated when the younger kids got nightmares - they could barely understand the fact that one of their parents is a God, let alone comprehend the strange demigod nightmares

Then, you noticed him. When you locked eyes, Percy felt as if the last puzzle piece of his life was finally put in place. Was it too early to say you were made for him?

“Hello! Welcome to Flowers and Vines (shoutout to Stella for naming it!), how may I help you today?” You said, your cheery tone snapping Percy out of the trance you put him in. Walking inside (he’d been simply listening next to the door), Percy sheepishly rubbed his neck, hoping you didn’t think he was some weird stalker

Percy looked around, now fully being able to see everything your greenhouse had to offer. His mom would love this place

“Oh, I’m good, thanks… I didn’t know you guys had a flower shop here! That’s really cool…” Percy said, trailing off at the end once he realised he didn’t know your name. He was a little embarrassed, but luckily, you didn’t seem to mind

Giggling, you continued for him, “Y/N, my name’s Y/N. And Flowers and Vines is more than just a flower shop, we sell produce too! Mr D’s kids help us with the grapes.” As you told him all of this, you were going around with a pretty pink watering can and watering every single plant in the whole greenhouse. Surely, there must be a more efficient way to water them all?

That morning, Percy decided he would buy a flower from you. When you’d asked which one he wanted, he simply told you to surprise him

“These are some of my favourites,” you said while wrapping your flowers of choice - to Percy, they looked like every other pink, round flower out there, but he’d learn the difference for you. These were now special

Handing him the little bouquet, you continued, “Rhododendron - ‘I shall never look upon your like again’, that’s what they mean. I don’t see them around much anymore, which is why I planted them here!”

It was almost like you knew Percy would never look upon your like again. When he’d asked you how much they were for, you insisted on giving them to him on the house. After much arguing, Percy accepted, keeping them right next to his bed. Something about them made the nightmares a little better

After that day, Percy couldn’t stop thinking about you. Everything he saw around him reminded him of you - from the flowers in the forest to the smell of mangoes in the air as their season arrived

He’d see you occasionally, too, and would shyly wave whilst hoping you didn’t notice the way his face turned a bright red when you waved back

You thought Percy was really cute, too, and were a little disappointed when he didn’t show up a second time after your original rendezvous. You began taking on so many shifts you might as well have been working at Flowers and Vines full time. Your siblings (as well as Dionysus’ kids) teased you relentlessly for this, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to see him again

And then you did

Percy’s idea was one that was suggested by none other than Travis Stoll. He was simply catching up with the son of Hermes when he’d brought up the fact that everyone working at Flowers and Vines watered the plants using watering cans (something which had been really bothering Katie)

When Percy had asked why they did that, Travis explained that they used to have sprinklers but after the Ares cabin tinkered with them once (they were bitter over a game of Capture the Flag), causing the water to go all over the place and killing a lot of the flowers, the sprinklers were unusable and currently being fixed by the Hephaestus cabin

That’s when Percy came up with it. Since he was a son of Poseidon, he could spread water from a source as far as he wanted to. Therefore, he could help with your issue and have an excuse to talk to you

Immediately, Percy ran to the flower shop/fruit market he’d grown to love so dearly

“Hi! Is Y/N here?” He asked one of your siblings, breathless. They nodded and pointed behind them, smirking as they snuck knowing glances to your other siblings

There you were, in all your glory. You seemed to sparkle under the Sun, watering the flowers with your little pink pot. When the water ran out, you sighed. You really needed to invest in a bigger one

Just as you were about to go fill it, Percy proudly announced, “you won’t have to do that anymore!”

You couldn’t believe your ears. As you turned around, you fought the urge to hug the boy. Despite only speaking with him once, you really did miss Percy

Intrigued, you followed Percy to the fountain in the middle of the greenhouse. Before, it used to just be for decoration (since you had sprinklers), but now it came very handy for refilling your watering cans

Extending his arm towards the fountain, Percy willed droplets of water to hover in the air, then, with one motion, threw them all over the greenhouse, watering your plants perfectly

“Oh my Gods, Percy, this is amazing! Thank you so much!” You exclaimed, running over to him and giving him a peck on the cheek. It was a spontaneous decision mainly done because you were getting quite tired of manually watering all your plants

After that, Percy began working at Flowers and Vines as your temporary plant-waterer. You, your siblings and Dionysus’ kids would all cheer when he’d appear, and he’d play into it, making a big show out of getting the water out of the fountain and sprinkling it over the plants, winking at you as he did so

The plants seemed to flourish even more than usual, too. You told yourself it was probably because water from a son of Poseidon was more powerful than normal water (or something along those lines), but you knew the truth

As a child of Demeter, much like your mother, your emotions influenced nature around you. When you were sad, plants would wilt and wither, mimicking the winter Demeter creates whenever Persephone is in the Underworld

The opposite was true. Whenever you were happy, plants would blossom and bloom all around - and you were really happy when Percy was around. Which is why you needed to tell him before the Hephaestus cabin fixed your sprinklers

However, fear got the best of you every time you tried to get the words out of your mouth. Despite practising several times with your siblings (and even once with the Aphrodite cabin), whenever you tried telling Percy, you’d get shy and vines would grow out of your head, tangling with your hair and acting as a shield

Unfortunately for you, Percy couldn’t tell from that that you liked him, so you simply had to get over your fears and say it

Your confession happened on Percy’s last day as your plant waterer. That morning, Katie had pulled you to the side, telling you to hurry up your confession to Percy as she and Travis couldn’t delay the Hephaestus cabin any more (they were getting quite annoyed, having worked on the sprinklers for so long. What did those Ares kids do to them?)

So, you spent the whole day bracing yourself for Percy’s arrival. All you had to do was say it, get his response and move on with your life. It wasn’t that big of a deal!

After Percy watered the plants, everyone watched in silence, waiting for you to say something

“Hey… Percy, can we talk?” You asked, ignoring the hushed cheers of your siblings as you approached the boy. He nodded, smiling at you and letting you lead him to the back, where you kept all the extra supplies

Sitting on a stool, Percy looked up at you, just noticing your nervousness, “is everything okay?” He asked, concern laced in his voice

You nodded, taking a deep breath. You practically had this memorised. You just had to get the words out. You couldn’t get the words out

The vines grew from your head again and you wanted nothing more than to cocoon yourself in them. You’d faced terrifying monsters with a calm smile and eliminated them like you were pulling weeds out of your gardens, but you couldn’t tell a boy you liked him?

At this point, the vines were wrapping around the stool Percy was sat on, and he stood up, confused

Slowly, he made his way over to you and brushed the vines away from your face. As he looked into your wide eyes, he finally understood. Cupping your face with his hands, Percy placed a tender kiss on your lips

“I like you too, Y/N. Like, a lot”

Ok dating hcs 🥳

First of all I just wanna say PICNIC DATES!!! Sometimes you have them on the beach and it’s like you combined both your worlds <3

As a child of Demeter I can confidently say we know how to cook. Percy’s so in love with your cooking. He never thought any cooking could rival his mother’s until you came along

Somehow, you knew how to make meals that make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If you asked him to taste ambrosia and one of your meals blindfolded and then choose one, he’d choose yours in a heartbeat

He’s also so obsessed with the fresh produce you bring from Flowers and Vines. I said this in my Percy x Persephone!Reader headcanons but I don’t think Percy’s much of a fruits/vegetables guy so the fact that you have him hooked on them says a lot

Swears he’s addicted. You think he’s just saying that to flatter you but he means it. If someone asked him if he had an addiction he’d look them dead in the eye and go, “yes, my partner’s bell peppers.”

He’s actually right though! Demeter + Dionysus kid powers make the produce taste a little fresher and last for way longer

Percy also decides to learn the language of flowers. He borrows a book about it from the Athena cabin and makes little notes and everything

Once, you came to his cabin and found the book full of scrawled annotations and sticky notes in it and you had to fight the urge to bawl your eyes out because he’s just so adorable

Will literally buy you flowers from your own flower shop though LMAO he doesn’t even try to do the transaction with anyone else. He’ll buy them and you’ll give them to him and he’ll be like “oh thanks I’m gonna go give this to the light of my life now” and he just hands them back to you

Percy’s also def the type of guy to keep one with him so he can get you new ones as soon as they start to wilt. Except his timing is always off because flowers tend to last a little longer when they’re around you

Lowkey still works at Flowers and Vines except he just follows you around and has no salary (he says his salary are kisses from you but knows he’d get them regardless LOL)

Brings Sally and Paul to Flowers and Vines and they’re immediately hooked because flowers in the mortal world aren’t half as beautiful as these hello??

Also, as a child of Demeter, you are naturally very motherly and caring. He loves seeing you interact with Estelle so much!!!

His half-sister warmed up to you extremely quickly and now refuses to be babysat by anyone who isn’t you. Like it can’t even be Percy alone you have to be there!!

Percy ALSO loves it when you dote on him. This leads to him being a little dramatic at times

Looking up, you saw a pouty Percy make his way over to you, his brows furrowed as he looked down at his finger

“Y/N! You won’t believe what happened!” He said. The first couple times he pulled this stunt, he’d scared you shitless, but you now knew all about your boyfriend’s antics and simply gave him a knowing smile

Feigning worry, you asked, “oh no, what is it?” Percy revealed his finger to you, which had a barely noticeable cut at the tip of it

“I was talking to Clarisse when all of a sudden she swung at me!” He told you, looking over to the side. In reality, he’d asked Clarisse to cut him, knowing only a child of Ares could have such precision with a weapon

Sporting a pout of your own, you took Percy’s finger and peppered it with kisses, “I’ll speak to Clarisse, don’t worry.” You said

“Uhh.. Y/N.. she also punched me in the lips… My lips really hurt.”

Let’s just say you didn’t get much work done that day (SAFE FOR WORK!)

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Fixing Bad Dreams

masterlist

summary: without even realizing, you’ve been using your powers to turn butcher’s bad dreams into good ones.

pairing: billy butcher x female supe!reader

rating: R for language

word count: 1.4k

warnings: language, talk of sex

timeline: set after season 3

gif source

When Butcher had realized you were a Supe, obviously his first thought was that he had to kill you. But he soon realized you weren’t like the others. Not in a “oh she’s still a good person” way, but in a “wow she’s fucking weak, she’s basically still human” way. It was true. Essentially all you could do was send telepathic messages to people. That was it. (You also had a slight healing factor, but even that wasn’t very strong.) You couldn’t read minds, you couldn’t move things with your mind, you were barely a Supe.

Or, maybe he was just trying to justify sleeping with you. Whether he’d admit it or not, he really liked sleeping with you. Not just the sex, he liked physically sleeping next to you. With you. He’d sleep best when it was next to you. He wouldn’t wake up in a cold sweat, he wouldn’t have nightmares about watching his wife die bloody.

Most of the time, you woke up before him. You’d find his shirt from the night before and put it on, along with your panties if you could find them. Although, Butcher tended to rip your more delicate ones.

As you tiptoed around the room looking for where he had thrown your underwear you heard him mumble something in his sleep. You hurried next to him, his brows furrowed as he clenched the sheets in tight fists.

You held his cheek, bent down, and kissed his forehead. That always calmed him right down, you didn’t know why. And it did just that; he unclenched his fists, unfurrowed his brows, and let out a soft breath of air.

You smiled at the thought. The great William Butcher like forehead kisses in his sleep. That’s what calmed him down.

He stirred awake shortly after, seeing you looking around the room still.

“Mornin’ love,” He yawned. “What’re you lookin’ for?”

“Good morning,” You smiled and walked over to him, taking a seat on the bed. “You sleep okay?” You ran a hand through his hair then down his cheek, stopping to bend down and kiss him sweetly.

“Great, love,” He smiled. “Was havin’ a bit of a nightmare but it turned into us making out in the office the other day.”

“Really?” You furrowed your brows a little.

“Yeah, why?”

“Uh…no reason,” You shook your head a little.

“So, what were you looking for?” He asked, intentionally changing the subject.

“Where the hell did you throw my panties last night?” You asked, turning to glance around the room. He reached under his pillow and pulled out what you’d been looking for.

“I may have hid ‘em so you’d make me breakfast without wearin’ ‘em,” He smirked.

“All you had to do was ask,” You smiled. You leaned down and kissed him again before you stood up. “Bacon and eggs ‘ll be ready in a few minutes, come meet me in the kitchen?”

“I’ll be right there.”

**

“You seem to be in a good mood this morning,” Butcher chuckled a few days later. You walked up to him cooking pancakes, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Smells amazing,” You hummed. You got on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

As you sat down at the table you let out a soft laugh.

“Okay, seriously, why’re you in such a good mood?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” You shrugged.

“Cause the A/C stopped working halfway through the night and we both lost a good two hours of sleep?” He raised a brow.

“Remember last summer? We went to that water park with Hughie and the others after the tests came back negative and you were cancer free?”

“Yeah, what about it?” He turned to look at you fully, suddenly very interested in each word you said.

“After the A/C went out I had the best, most intense dream about it! I mean, the smell of the chlorine in the wave pool, the sound of those birds that kept trying to take your fries, everything!”

“Huh…I’ll be fuckin’ damned,” Butcher mumbled, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“What?”

“Nothin’ love, I remember that day too.”

**

Grass so green it looked fake, the sky so blue and clouds so perfect it all looked like a Bob Ross painting. Birds chirped in the trees as Butcher dipped down and kissed you again.

“Fuckin’ beautiful,” He smiled. He rubbed his hand up and down your thigh, under your floral dress.

A picnic in the park with William Butcher. A fucking dream come true.

The cruel sound of the alarm jolted you awake. Butcher stretched his arm out and over you, hitting the snooze button.

“Perfect fucking timing,” He grumbled. “I think I was about to get lucky.”

“Me too, actually,” You laughed a little. “Guess we’ll have to make it up to each other.”

**

“Hey, let’s eat breakfast outside,” Butcher suggested.

“You hate eating outside?” You laughed a little. You took a sip of your coffee as you watched Butcher cook breakfast.

“Don’t be silly! On occasion, picnics can be fun!”

“P-Picnics?” You furrowed your brows. “What gave you that idea?”

“Just a dream I had.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Were you putting thoughts in his head? Messing with his dreams enough that it influenced his life when he was awake? How else were you messing with his head?

“Earth to Y/n!” Butcher pulled you out of your head.

“Huh?”

“I said food’s ready. Now, c’mon, get off your ass and eat outside with me.”

“Okay,” You smiled, hiding how worried you actually were.

You followed him out to the balcony overlooking the busy city.

“So what was your dream?” He asked when you both sat down at the outside table.

“Wh-What dream?” You asked.

“Remember? We both woke up to the alarm, both said we were about to get lucky in our dreams, and then we had earth-shattering morning sex. So, what was your dream?”

“I- I don’t really remember it…now all I’m thinking about is the earth-shattering morning sex,” You smirked a little.

“Ah ha!” He matched your expression, but added a sense of pride. “That’s my job, love.”

**

“Butcher, we need to talk,” You said later that night. He was ready for bed and already under the covers.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, brows knitted with concern.

“I- I don’t think I sh-should sleep with you anymore,” You replied, tears in your eyes.

“You’re breaking up with me? Why?”

“No! I- I fucking love you and that why I need to get as far away from you as fucking possible!”

“Y/n, you’re not makin’ any sense,” He got out of bed and walked up to you. You backed away from him, shaking your head.

“I- I’ve been- I think I’ve been messing with your h-head somehow,” You let the tears fall. “Not on purpose, I swear! But I- I’ve been controlling your dreams, so who knows how else I’ve been controlling you!”

“I know about the dreams.”

“What?”

“I figured it out a couple weeks ago. You were going into detail about a dream you had the night before, and it was the same dream I had.”

“Why didn’t you say something! Butcher I could be completely controlling you! You probably don’t even really want to fucking be here! Fuck!” You put your hands on your head.

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to act how you’re acting right now. I knew you weren’t doing it on purpose, otherwise you wouldn’t have told me your dream.”

“B-But what if…”

“What if what, Y/n? You really think you could accidentally force me to love you?” He took a few steps closer to you, this time you didn’t back away. You nodded. “Alright, how ‘bout this. Right now, try your absolute hardest to make me do something.” He put his hands on your shoulders and touched his forehead to yours. “Go on, use your powers on me.”

“I’m trying!” You exclaimed. You really were, but he was right; you weren’t nearly strong enough to mind-control someone. You let out a breath of relief. “Fuck, that would’ve been a fucking nightmare!”

“Well, good thing that’s your specialty then, love. Turning nightmares into the best fuckin’ dreams I could ask for.”

“I love you, Butcher,” You smiled and he did the same.

“I love ya, too,” He mumbled as he kissed your lips.

[bubblegump-1-nk]

Shall I Write It in a Letter

pairing: Gryffindor!Reader x Theodore Nott

summary: In which Theo wakes up one morning and realizes he can no longer not have you, so he writes you a letter. But when that letter gets lost, things become complicated. - inspired by Anne with an E; song: Bloom by The Paper Kites.

Warnings: angst that could be fixed by simple communication 😒, hints of cheating

P.S: I super duper highly recommend to listen to the songs either before, during, or after you read my fics . Not only do they encapsulate what the fic is about, but they’re also just super good songs!! <33d

~~~

Christmas break had been in session for about a week and a half, and Theo was spending his time off at home. Although he was sad to be away from his friends, he was happy for the much needed alone time.

The sun was shining brightly through the dark velvet curtains in his room, and he slowly woke up from his dreams. As his eyes fluttered open, he felt a pang of pain in his heart. His dream had been of you, specifically of kissing your soft lips on a warm summers day by the Black Lake. He’s found that more recently than ever, his head is full of you, as is his heart. As he’s laying in his bed, he closes his eyes once more, trying to hold onto the bits of you he won’t ever experience. In this moment, thoughts of you more prevalent than ever before, he realizes he doesn’t have to not have you. Quickly, becoming fully awake, he springs out of his bed and walks quickly to his desk.

He pushes all the papers and miscellaneous items off the surface, and pulls out a paper and quill. He’s become fully aware of just how much he longs for you, and why should he not be able to tell his best friend that he’s in love with her? He’s been yearning for your love for as long as he can remember, and it has finally transformed him into a fool, giving him the confidence to express his love for you.

My dearest y/n,

I’ve found that you’ve been circling my thoughts more than usual lately, so much so that I can hardly call them my own anymore. I think about you all the time, yet I’ve been too much of a coward to say anything. But I’ve realized that I don’t want to wake up one day, either in the near future or in the years to come, and regret not trying, because of pride, or embarrassment, or just simple fear. I need to escape this torture chamber I’ve made for myself, where I must hold you at arms length though I know I wish for nothing more than to be wrapped in your embrace at all hours of the day. So I need you to tell me if it’s all in my head. That the lingering touches and longing stares are just simple delusions I’ve created in my mind. But if they’re not, and Merlin how I hope they’re not, I’m telling you here and now that I am in love with you y/n l/n, and I don’t think I can bear to be apart from you any longer. I also want to go ahead and apologize for telling others I loved you, that they knew before you did, but to be fair I think everyone knew before I did, too. You are my breath of fresh air, the light in all my darkness, my proof that life is pure and good and that happiness is achievable. I may not be a religious person, but if worshipping you was a religion I’d be its most devoted follower. And if my feelings are not reciprocated, please find a way to put this past you because I could not endure losing you as my best friend as well.

Yours Forever, Theo.

After pouring his heart out onto the page, he carefully placed it into an envelope, wrote your name on it, and walked to give it to owl. After sending it away, he walked back to his room, his anxiety suddenly crashing through. Thoughts swarmed his head: She doesn’t love me, I’ve ruined everything, I should stop it from reaching her. But his heart quickly stopped his brain from doing too much damage. You needed to know or else Theo would live in agony for the rest of his life. Upon reaching his room, he sat back at his desk and sent letters to each of the Slytherin boys, confessing what he’s done. He even slipped a copy of the letter to Mattheo, the only one he felt he could truly trust with that piece of his heart.

~~~

It had been two days since the letter had been sent. Had his owl reached you by now? Had you seen it? What were you thinking?

He was an utter mess, his mind swarming with questions and his body teeming with anxieties.

Soon it was 4 days, then 6, then a week, and then the last day of break rolled around the corner. Still he had received no response from you, perhaps you wished to talk in person? His heart hoped that that was the answer, and that the lack of a letter was not your rejection

~~~

You got onto the train just as it was about to take off, thanks to your missing jumper. The train was packed with kids saying their hellos and catching up, and with much effort you finally found Harry, Hermione, and Ron and got inside the compartment.

“Is it just me or is it crazier than usual?” You ask as you sit down.

“Definitely crazier, apparently Lavendar and Parvati got into a huge fight over break so everyone’s running around to hear about it.” Hermione explains as she hands you some candy she bought for you.

You say your thanks and continue talking with your friends when there’s a knock on your compartment.

“Hi Dean!” You say as you get up to slide open the door. You step out quickly to talk with the tall Gryffindor boy.

You have a friendly conversation, lasting about 10 minutes before entering the compartment again.

“What was that about.” Ron asks, before anyone else has the chance to.

“I saw him at Diagon Alley over the break and he asked me out. We hung out a couple times over the break.” You explain.

“Never would have expected that one.” Says Harry.

You raise you eyebrow at him, “and why would that be?”

“Just always assumed it would be Nott.” Harry says.

“I can’t just sit around like a fool waiting for him. He’s shown he just sees me as his best friend and the quicker I get over him the better.” You explain.

“But, he hasn’t shown you that he feels that way.” Explains Hermione, who is team Theo and y/n.

“He hasn’t shown me any differently. Wake me up when we get there I’m taking a nap.” You say, tired of constantly being reminded of your inability to be with Theo.

~~~

You arrive at the castle, and you make your way through the crowds to find your Slytherin friends. Just as you spot their group, Dean Thomas stops you.

“Hey, I’ve saved you a seat next to me, ok?” He asks, while his hands snaked around your waist.

“Thanks, I’ll be right there.” You say to him, giving him a small smile before turning your attention back to the group

-

“Merlin.” Theo says, causing the group to turn their heads. He had seen you walking around the crowd, and had turned away quickly when you had finally spotted them. He hadn’t seen you on the train and obviously hadn’t received your letter, so a part of him still hoped that you just wanted to talk to him in person. His anxiety began to take over him when he saw you walking towards him - would you tell him to fuck off? That he’s some sort of creep best friend? Or would you tell him that your heart beat for him? - that’s when he saw it. Dean Thomas gripping your waist and you sending him that sweet, tooth rotting smile his way.

“Oh shit.” Said Mattheo, who had been the first to spot the pair.

“Fuck that’s messed up.” Said Draco.

“I’m sorry mate.” Enzo said, patting Theo’s shoulder.

“How’d that even happen?” Asked Blaise, confused because he had never really seen you interact with Dean.

Mattheo sent him a look, warning him to drop it.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Mattheo said, gently grabbing Theo’s arm, pulling him away towards the dining room.

Theo could still feel his heart breaking, each shard falling to the pits of his stomach and stabbing him. He got his answer at least, not only did you not love him, you clearly didn’t care enough about him to even write back to him. And now, his God-sent Angel, was flaunting around with another man. How could the sweet girl he grew up with, the one that showed him that even salt could be beautiful, break his heart and crumble its pieces in your fist?

-

You were confused when you suddenly saw the group leave, making their way into the dining hall. You tried to get to them, but the crowds of people pushed you back until finally, you realized it was fruitless when the crowd began pushing you back towards the Gryffindor side of the Great Hall. You decided to just sit down, and that you would try to find the group, Theo specifically because you missed him deeply, after dinner.

Dinner passed quickly after the tedious sorting ceremony. You talked with your friends and caught up with those around you, sneaking glances towards the Slytherin table as often as possible. Finally, Dumbledore dismissed the students and you all made your way towards your common rooms. Since it was the first day back, teachers were making sure students went directly to their rooms, leaving you no time to find the Slytherins. You decided it would be best for you to just wait until tomorrow, though you thought you might implode if you spent one more second away from Theo. A thought that made you feel instantly guilty when Dean appeared at your side.

~~

The next day rolled around, and still you hadn’t been able to get ahold of the Slytherins. If you hadn’t known any better, you would have assumed they had been avoiding you. Finally, right before lunch you entered the library to grab some books when you saw the boys congregated in the back. You made your way over to them, carefully stepping around the stacks of books Madame Pince was reorganizing.

Once you finally reached the group, you went to announce your presence before Theo looked away from Draco (who was telling some boring anecdote) and looked down at you. Before you had any time to give him a smile or say your hello’s, he detached himself from the group and stormed right past you, through the stacks of books, and out the door. You stood shocked, facing the doors before finally turning back around to face the group. Your face was painted with an expression of confusion, which only deepened you received a nasty look from Enzo.

“We’ll be on our way now.” Said Enzo, walking past you with Blaise following close behind.

What..?” You finally managed to get out in your state of shock.

“Listen, y/n, just do us all a favor and leave us alone, especially Theo.” Mattheo said, in quite a rude tone before walking passed you. You stood confused and shocked at the interaction that had just unfolded. What had you done? Why were the boys mad at you? What had you done to Theo?

~~~

“I just have no idea what it could possibly be.” You said to Hermione, as you paced around your dorm room, recounting the story from earlier.

“Maybe it’s Dean. Maybe he’s just jealous.” Hermione offered.

“No, but I’ve had flings with guys before, and it’s not like he hasn’t been with girls before. It’s some thing deeper than that I know it.” You state, picking at your fingernails.

“And your sure you haven’t done anything? I mean you can’t think of one thing that could possibly have led to this?” Hermione asks, just as confused about the situation as you.

“Yes, I mean I literally cannot think of one thing that could have led to this. I would never hurt Theo, ever.” You say, plopping down on you bed, exasperated by the days events.

“I’m sorry y/n but I have absolutely no idea why they’re acting like this.” Hermione said, sad she couldn’t be of more help.

“It’s fine Hermione, it’s not your fault. I’m just going to go to bed.” You say, wanting this nightmare to end.

Could you really be losing your best friend to a reason unknown to you? Not only can you not be with the man that you love because he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but now you may have just lost him completely. You fall asleep after hours of rolling back and forth contemplating your complicated relationship with Theo, and even in your unconscious state you cannot escape him because he peeps into your dreams.

~~~

The following week is agony. Your best friend won’t talk to you, let alone allow himself to be in the same room as you, the boys you’ve known since childhood give you nasty looks every chance they get, you have to entertain a relationship with Dean your not even sure you want to get into and your teachers are stuffing you with assignments. All you need is a good party with lots and lots of alcohol. Once Friday afternoon finally rolls around, you can feel a slight weight lift from your shoulders.

~~~

You walked into the Slytherin common room with Dean. Pansy, Daphne and some other Slytherin girls hosted the first party since break and seeing as you’ve been close with them since 1st year, you were clearly invited. You decided you were going to look your absolute best for this party: you’re makeup was flawless, your hair done to perfection, and the corset and low-waisted mini skirt you were wearing was doing your figure perfect justice.

“Fuck me.” Said Theo as he saw you walk in with Dean. “I’m going for a smoke outside.” He says.

“Need company?” Mattheo asks, not wanting to leave his vulnerable friend alone.

“Nah mate, thanks though.” He says, before walking outside quickly, before he can see anymore of you.

It had only been a few minutes, and you had already downed about 3 drinks. Once the alcohol started to hit, you detached yourself from Dean’s grip making up some excuse, before finding your way towards the Slytherin boys.

You spotted Mattheo sitting on the arm rest of a couch, sipping out of a plastic cup. You walked up to him, hips still swaying to the music.

“Where’s Theo?” You stated, once you reached him, your confidence booming.

“What do you want?” Mattheo asks, looking up at you with contempt.

“I need to find Theodore Nott. Where is he?” You state.

“You have some serious nerve.”

“What?” You ask, taken aback.

“Listen, y/n, you’re once of my closest friends, but Theo’s my best mate. And what you did, that shit’s just fucked up. Like seriously, I didn’t even know you were capable of that.” He says, disgust leaking out of his words.

“I’m sorry?” You say, confused by his words.

“Merlin y/n, I mean how dull can you be? You just expect everything to be all right after you not only completely ignore his letter where he fucking tells you he fucking loved you, but you turn up with some Levski (famous quidditch chaser) wannabe? I mean that’s some next level shit.” Mattheo says, getting up as he presents his rage induced speech.

“What letter?” You say, unaware of what he’s talking about.

Mattheo just stares at you, stuttering to get some words out.

“I said: what letter, Mattheo?” You say, much more sternly.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you never received it?” Mattheo asks, in shock.

“I don’t even know what I didn’t receive.” You say, exasperated.

“Just, wait right here, I’ll be right back!” Mattheo says, before running up the stairs towards the dorms.

You stand there in shock, your adrenaline pumping. Had you heard him right? Theo had sent you a letter confessing his love to you? How had you missed it?

“Here! Here! I have it!” Mattheo yelled, running towards you, waving a piece of parchment around in his hand.

“This. One.” Mattheo says, between breaths as he reaches you, handing you the parchment.

You rip it from his hands, reading it quickly yet thoroughly. Tears brim at your eyes, did he really feel this way? Merlin you felt so stupid, how could this have gotten lost?

“I-I…” you stuttered, unaware of what to say.

“Outside. He’s outside. Go!” Mattheo said, stilling catching his break.

“I- ok, thank you!” You say, before quickly running out the door, finding your way outside.

You see Theo sitting outside, smoking a cigarette. His face is illuminated by the moonlight and you swear in that moment that you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

“Theo! Theodore!” You yell to him, as you run towards his figure. The grass was still wet from the rain that had fallen earlier that day, and the blades of grass began to stick to your calfs.

Theo looks at you, before getting up and attempting to escape you.

“Theo, wait, please! Mattheo just showed me the letter! I never got it!”

He stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around.

“What?”

You finally catch up to him, breathing heavily.

“I never got your letter, I didn’t know about it until just now.” You explain, showing him the letter Mattheo had given you.

“What?” He said again, bewildered by what was going on.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, or your feelings. I just never got to read about them until tonight.”

“So, you’re telling me you never received it, at all?”

“No. I never got a letter.” You explain, your eyes searching his for some hint of how he was feeling.

“Did you read it?” Theo asked slowly.

“Yes, just now I did.”

“And…” Theo asked, hope returning to him and hitting him like a truck. He was filled with anxieties and he felts his stomach doing flips waiting for you to answer.

“Of course I’m in love with you, I thought I made it so obvious!”

“I thought I made it obvious!” Theo said with a laugh, all negative feelings and thoughts leaving his body and head at your confession.

“My heart quite literally beats for you, Teddy. I’ve never been so scared then when I thought I was losing you.”

“Really?” He asks. His eyes are lit up and he can barely contain his smile

“Yes you idiot!” You say, smiling wildly

“What about Dean?” He asks, afraid.

“Fuck Dean! It’s only ever been you, Teddy. It’ll always be you.” You say, staring up at him with nothing but love and devotion.

“Does this mean that you’ll have me?” He asks, grabbing your hands.

You nod vigorously, unable to get any words out as tears of happiness are threatening to spill if you utter a single word.

And with that, Theo dips down and kisses you. The kiss is deep and passionate. You two explore each others mouths, and your hands explore each others body. You taste every bit of each other, and feel each others hair, faces, arms, waists, chests, in ways that you’ve never felt before. You take this chance to make up for all the lost time you’ve spent pining for each other in secret. The kiss is hungry, yet gentle and Theo holds you close, as if if he doesn’t hold you as tightly as possible you’ll slip away from him. After a few minutes he pulls away, touching your forehead to his and holding your face in his hands.

“I’m so so sorry for believing the worst in you. I was just in so much pain. Ignoring you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done” He states, referring to the week prior.

“It’s ok, Teddy. Let’s not worry about that now.” You say, causing his lips to come crashing down on yours again.

[universecorp]

⤷ incubus!soobin x fem!reader

⤷ w.c: 5.7k

⤷ summary: to you, he was the prettiest human you’ve ever seen, and thanks to your luck, you two end up becoming partners in your psych class. as time went by, the boy kept appearing in your dreams at the weirdest times. but now, you’re not too sure about the human part…

⤷ contents: dom!soobin, sub!reader, religious corruption, oral (fem receiving), degradation, slight dumbification, pervy soobin, FILTH, wet dreams, demon-like features (horns, nails, tail, teeth, split tongue, and wings), mirror sex, overstimulation, masturbation, soobin is BIG, unprotected sex, if i missed anything sorryyy :( ⤷ author's note: this is my first publicly published fic but i'm super excited to share! hopefully you guys enjoy! also, the lowercase is intentional. – jae

“why did i think signing up for morning classes was a good idea? i basically just set myself up.” 

that thought ran wild in your head as you stared at your purple lit ceiling. it was was too fucking early to learn psychology but hey, your day was done right after it so, like the “responsible” student you were, you forced yourself out of your bed and put on cute yet comfortable clothes to get yourself started with the day. thankfully, campus wasn’t that far from your off-campus apartment so what’s the point of wasting gas when you could just walk? 

perfect timing, 15 minutes early and nobody was there. you picked the most convenient seat in the room and unpacked your folders and notebook to begin with class. not even 10 minutes later, more and more students started rolling in and finding seats beside their friends or people they found attractive to grab their attention. 

but then there’s him..

yeah, him the one with the specks and black hair that stood out to you but probably not to everyone else; why is that? you remembered the first time he came in the class, he was just a week behind because of the class switch period but, once he walked in he immediately caught your eye. if you could recall, you believed his name was soobin; tall, pretty face and beautiful lips, everything about him was beautiful and portioned correctly. it’s a shame you were the only one who appreciated his beauty. 

“alright guys if you check in our class section, you will see the group that you’re in for the rest of this project so get comfortable with one another cause you’re stuck with them for a while,” a small laugh fell from the professor's lips like it was sooo funny. everybody groaned at the end of his spiel and started moving towards the numbered tables. you were table 2 so you didn’t have to move at all but in the corner of your eye you saw two bodies approaching you.

“you must be—“ 

“____! hi,” you smiled. you turned your head fully to get a glimpse of your two partners and dear god your luck must be either shitty or great. soobin sat down beside you while the other partner sat across from both of you. to you, this had to be either some sort of punishment or blessing; he smelt so good like freshly folded laundry with a hint of cologne. you couldn’t even imagine what he sounded like too. 

you pulled out the rubric of the project quickly before you could turn to the pretty boy and ask him his name. he didn’t seem tense and he didn’t seem nervous to talk either but, he did seem a little standoffish the way he immediately went to write notes down before introducing himself. 

“what’s your name?” you asked looking directly at his face hoping to burn holes in them so he could have eye contact with you. the other partner already introduced themself right after asking your name. he finally took his focus away from the notes and looked at your eyes glowing with curiosity as to who the hell he was. 

“i’m soobin.”

—————

on your way back home all you could think about was him. the rest of the class he was quiet, only wrote down notes, and typed in the things that he thought would help us out with the project. 

“maybe he’s shy,” you convinced yourself. this is the first time you’ve met him so maybe he’s just a little nervous. 

before you left the class, you asked your group if they wanted to come to the food court on campus to discuss the project and possibly get to know one another. sadly, the other partner had to attend another class right after so the only one was soobin. to no avail, he looked down at you with an unreadable expression and said, “no.” 

it wasn’t like you did something to him so why was he so cold? you brushed it off once you got inside of your apartment and took a quick shower. you threw yourself onto your bed and cuddled up in your sheets to take a quick nap. 

it was so blurry. you couldn’t make out anything except for the fact you were in class. everyone was sitting together with their group but you were sitting all by yourself. you checked your phone looking at the time seeing class was going to start in 10 minutes. finally, soobin walked in and took his place beside you smelling good as usual but this time with a little more cologne. the professor came to your table explaining how the other partner dropped the class and how it will just be you and soobin this time. you nodded your head and faced the pretty boy watching him as he eyed your face and then your stature up and down with a sly smirk on his face. “wanna go to the food court?” 

you woke up to your ceiling being lit blue this time and the sky dark. you literally just started talking to the boy and here you go having dreams about him but, it was nothing crazy so you went on about your night. 

well… you wished it was nothing crazy..

“your partner dropped the class so you and soobin will just be the only group with two people. if you need help with the project just let me know.” 

this was too much like deja vu, too much of a coincidence. the dream happened two days ago but you remembered it so vividly when the professor spoke. maybe it was just a foreshadowing, usually dreams like that can happen. 

all class, you and soobin worked on the project and he spoke a little more than usual. “i created a doc where we can jot down ideas at the same time,” you spoke taking out the said document. the title was called “the mind of sex;” your group decided to talk about the minds of those and how one’s psych can effect their sexual adrenaline and desires. “i found some sites that can help us as well.” 

soobin nodded as his fingers went to work on his computer. honestly, seeing him focus and type away made you wonder what goes on in his head. this topic is definitely going to open some weird behaviors and some awkward feelings but he seemed like he didn’t care. you both are adults after all but you knew this topic would make you feel extremely awkward, especially around somebody so handsome. 

“you want to go to the food court?” you blinked once you realized he was staring at you. the shuffling of people packing up and talking about whatever the hell tuned back into you; were you staring that hard? 

“oh- yeah we can, sorry..” you never put your stuff away that fast before. the way he asked in such a soft yet deep voice made your cheeks warm. little did you know, soobin knew the effect he had on you, watching you with a little smirk.

—————

days, weeks, even a month passed and this project was close to being finished. every week, you and soobin decided to go to the food court after that class. he’s much warmer than you thought he was, laughing at your jokes, sharing food, and being an amazing partner that didn’t make you do all the work. you also realized that the topic isn’t as awkward as you thought. 

“hey you wanna try this ice cream flavor with me? i heard it’s super good,” you asked. you already purchased it and grabbed two spoons getting ready to dig in but you believed it would be better if he tried it with you. he laughed and grabbed the spoon getting ready to taste it with you. your eyes grew wide at the flavour loving it so much while soobin on the other hand hated it. 

“yeah.. you can have it..” he gagged, drinking his soda to flush the taste down. you giggled at him and continued eating it with glowing eyes, those same glowing eyes you gave him when you asked him his name. he nibbled on his lip watching you look around while eating it. almost like a little kitten. “…cute.” 

you didn’t hear him. 

thank god you didn’t. 

ironic of him to be saying ‘thank god…’

soobin looked to the right to see two men watching you. 

“seems like at least one of them has the hots for you,” he sighed. you looked over to see the two men nod their head up ‘hey.’ you rolled your eyes and looked back at soobin. 

“maybe they want you instead,” you smiled, bringing your attention back to your ice cream and phone. soobin wasn’t stupid, he’s a man too after all. you were absolutely beautiful to him and definitely to others, and the way you’re licking around that spoon could have anybody go nuts for you. 

yeah.. especially the way you were licking it.

it’s in soobin’s nature, he can’t help it. somebody with such a cute face licking the spoon sinfully can only make his brain run wild. thinking about how you would look getting on your slightly red knees, licking at his clothed dick begging for it to choke yo—

“soobin?” his eyes were dark. way too dark. almost like your dream. lately, you’ve been having dreams about him more and more. they would be normal dreams like you two going to the food court or going on a cute small date but before you would wake, his eyes would look dark. no life, no feeling, just dark. and every time you saw them your stomach would churn. a pool inside your gut will toss and make your face feel hot, almost like you were aroused but it was only for a slight second, not enough for you to fully pinpoint the kind of feeling it was. 

but it happened again and this time you weren’t dreaming. 

“oh shit, i forgot i have to go! i’ll talk to you later okay, text me when you get home!” before you could even say goodbye he left. you blinked a couple of times before brushing off that anxious feeling. you loved soobin yes, but every once and a while this anxious feeling would come to you, itching your brain like it was telling you to run but you ignored it. soobin has proved himself more and more that he’s a sweetheart and wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. so why was your gut reacting this way? 

where were you? it almost looked like your room…maybe? you were burning up, sweat running down your face but your lower half was uncomfortably wet. your gut was tight with arousal wanting nothing more than to get off but you just couldn’t move. 

now, it cut to a body. a head actually. your hands gripping their hair as their tongue lapped against your folds and slurped against your clit. every muscle in your body wanted to buck your hips into their mouth, wanting them to go faster but dear god the strength that they had around your hips was inhumane. curses left your lips as you felt that rope begin to snap but why wasn’t it. it felt drawn out like you couldn’t release at all yet you were so close. they sucked harder, using their fingers inside of you hitting that spot every time they curved them up. 

“please.. please please i’m so close,” you sighed, knowing your juices were sticking to the bed and the strangers face. their hand came up to your chest, pinching your hardened nipple taking you to the edge but not there. it was only a little bit away. just a little. 

“please.. soobin—“ 

your brain didn’t stop. the dream kept going, completely ignoring the fact you said his name. it was just a dream right, no harm or anything, you couldn’t control it. 

if anybody else was living in your apartment, they would definitely hear the noises you were making, such slutty and dirty noises. you tossed and turned in your bed, humping the air feeling like your dream was real. 

and it was all his doing. 

soobin sat on the balcony, right outside of your window. legs crossed, eyes gold, horns curled, nails long and sharp, and wings larger than the average demon and a long tail with a heart shaped spike at the end. his presence is only sensed by you in your dream, nobody else. he could see how the dream was playing out, making the scenes unfold but to his surprise, before he could bring himself into the mix, you were already begging for him. a shiver ran through his spine after hearing his name fall from your mouth so prettily. his sharp canines bit at his lip, feeling himself get hard at the thought of you bucking up into his face, begging for him to fuck you and make a mess of you. 

he’s so close to making you finally his. 

—————

the dreams wouldn’t stop. every morning you would wake up unsatisfied, aroused beyond belief at that thought of soobin. he appeared in your dreams more often then at usual doing the most unholy things to you. at one point, there was a time where your plump lips wrapped around his girthy dick, feeling every vein on your tongue, and watching his face with wide eyes. then, there was when he fucked you against the wall, burns on your back from the friction. and then, you sitting on his face, riding his tongue feeling so fucking good.

it was driving you insane. 

you would wake up around the same time every night, 3:45 am. your panties soaked with precum and that itch that you needed to fulfill. 

the average person would just change their underwear and sleep it off. but you? you couldn’t. you immediately took your phone and scrolled through twitter to find something, just anything to help you finish. your vibrator in one hand with the phone in the other, finding some pretty girl getting pounded by this man with a huge dick just like soobin had in her dream. her moaning, drool coming out of the side of her mouth and cum spilling from her cunt. 

maybe it was the lack of sleep. 

or maybe it was the frequent dreams about him. 

but as you looked at the videos, it seemed like the video changed from the girl to you, and the man to soobin, him being the one pounding into you like you were some lifeless fuck toy. 

you felt so guilty. you felt like complete shit, but fuck you couldn’t help it. moaning out his name as you finished yourself off after the blue-balled dream that you had. 

yet you still went to class. guilt rushed through your body as you saw the pretty boy walk into class with a big smile on his face as he saw you. you tried to return the favor but the guilt just kept eating at you. 

but the devil was winning terribly today. 

soobin became awfully clingy today. his hand placed on your thigh, his fingers playing with your own, even a tight back hug here and there and it was driving you insane. your panties soaked once again as you thought about your unforgivable actions, seeing the size difference between your hand and his, wishing it was around your neck instead. 

more and more arousal fell into your panties and fuck soobin can smell it. it was intoxicating to him. if he didn’t have all that self control his eyes would’ve immediately turned gold. he both knew that you and him could not fight it off any longer. 

“since we have to present on thursday, is it cool if i come over so we can practice it?” he asked. maybe it was because you were eager for a crumb of his presence. or maybe something or somebody was controlling you to answer the way you did. 

“yeah sure!” 

you both walked together, grabbing snacks along the way. you had some bottles of wine as well so you guys can have a good time. 

“you’re really good at speaking,” you told him. you both just ran over lines to get a grasp on it to see how much you both could remember. 

“you think so?” he asked, sitting back down beside you taking a sip of his wine. the wine definitely made you feel more loose and not so tense, it’s almost like you forgot about why you were so tense. 

“yeah, it’s almost like you’re drawing people in when you talk. its really good.” it’s almost like you were talking from experience. his voice was intoxicating, it drew you in immediately. you two talked more about the subject and ate some of the chips you guys bought as well. 

“it’s still funny to me how kinks are considered psychological disorders,” you chuckled watching the tv. 

“what? you saying you have some?” he chuckled. yeah he was a demon alright, he knew where this was going and so did you but the wine didn’t make you back down from the question. 

“if you tell me yours i’ll tell you mine.” 

“oh please,” he laughed. “this has to be a set up. you probably don’t even have one.” you smiled and bit your lip trying to hold back a laugh but you took one more sip of your wine and drew your attention back at him. 

“i like… looking at myself in the mirror. is that a kink?” you asked, eating your chips again. usually you’re not like this but this feeling that this man was resonating made every impulsive thought leave your mouth. he looked over at you as he drank his wine, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. 

“you’ve had sex in front of a mirror before?” his voice low and his eyes heavy as he watched your reaction. every hormone that he was giving off was slowly affecting you, your lip between your teeth and your legs closed together trying to calm yourself down. from your reaction, it didn’t seem like you had sex in front of one. “or did you fuck yourself in front of it?” 

god you hope he didn’t hear you. 

a small gasp came from your lips at his words. 

he was so close to jumping on you. the little bit of sanity that he had left stopped him. 

“for me,” he began. “i love seeing my partner beg and look helpless under me..” 

it was like you were under some spell. words that you understood started to turn into a different language, like it was demonic. your body started to burn up, stomach turning creating that same churn that you had in your dreams. your breath started to quicken as you felt yourself drip into your panties. 

“fuck..” you moaned throwing your head back. the trance wouldn’t stop and so did his words, it felt like torture. you gripped onto the arm of the sofa trying to find something to give you leverage. the voices wouldn’t leave your head and this addicting feeling wouldn’t either. where was soobin? was he okay?

just like he read your mind, he looked down at your helpless state, eyes gold and horns showing. his beautiful hand grabbing your face. 

“you poor thing,” he whispered. the voices went away but this rope in your gut didn’t. your skin was on fire making you want to rip your clothes off one by one. “doesn’t this feel so familiar?” 

what was he talking about? you couldn’t even think, your focus only being on wanting this feeling to go away. but he was right, this did feel familiar.. the fever like temperature, the churning, and his presence, this felt too familiar. 

“all those dreams, you thought those were normal?” you moaned at his words, scenes of your dreams played behind your eyelids. you bucked your hips into the air trying to feel something, just anything. you opened your eyes, looking at soobin’s state. 

his eyes gold, horns curled, canines sharp.

you’ve heard of this before. an incubus. somebody who comes in your dreams and feast off of your wet dreams. to think it was real… to think it was soobin. 

his hand let go of your face but placed it softly under your chin with his thumb caressing your cheek. 

“i almost feel bad,” he whispered bringing his face close to yours. “betraying you like this. you look so helpless and confused. it makes me want you more, lovely. do you still love me? you still love the soobin you knew before?”

you can’t be this insane… you swear you couldn’t. 

looking at his face, his demon features, and the surprising warmth coming from his hand, it made you spiral. 

“so… so pretty…” you whispered. your heart rate sped up the longer you looked at him. you knew it, everything about him screamed he was hiding something and yet you found it so attractive. the darkness in his eyes that he had for a split second every time you looked at him, the sly smirk,the anxious feeling that you got, everything screamed something to you. yet, this soobin was just as beautiful. 

you brought your weak hand up, placing it on his cheek. the sharp heart shaped end of his tail slowly moved along with your movement, anticipating your every move. 

“pl… please soobin…” you whined, your stomach still churning wanting to feel him inside of you. soobin must’ve gone soft, his heart weak for you after he heard those soft words leave your lips. 

he brought himself around and picked you up, placing you against the wall. one of his hands held you up while the other ran up your stomach. his plump lips found yours, canines biting down onto your lip. the sigh of relief that left your lips after finally feeling what you’ve been wanting for months. his large bulge rubbed against your clothed cunt, making you whimper into the kiss. 

breaking from the kiss, he made his way to your neck. rubbing his nose against you, taking in your scent and hearing the blood pump through your veins. his lips placed soft kisses against your neck until his tongue found its way. 

his fucking tongue. his tongue soft, long, and split slowly taking in the taste of your skin. a groan came from within him, making him buck into you. 

“holy fuck…” you breathed. he smiled against your skin at your choice of words. he looked at your face, your eyes low and dark with lust and cheeks flushed. fuck he could’ve came just looking at you. he brought his sharp nail to your shirt, easily ripping it in the center showing your braless chest. he place his hand on you stomach making your chest tighten more. a deep moan came from your lips feeling your blood rush further down to your cunt. 

“soobin please…!” you pleaded. 

as evil as soobin can be, he has a rule set; in order for him to give you what you wanted, you had to invite him in. this was a form of consent for the demon for you to give him your all andfor him to do the same. this was also a bonding form for you to stay with him, to be his till death. 

a circle with words in a different stroke pattern appeared on your stomach, glowing a bright yellow. 

“do you want me, lovely?” he groaned into your ear. “you want me to give you want?” 

tears streamed down your face as whimpers came out of your mouth. you could feel your slick slide down your leg, coating his covered dick.

“if you let me in baby, your life will change. your Lord won’t be able to save you, love…” his tongue wrapped around to the other side of your neck, feeling you gulp at his menstrations. “you will be a walking sin along with me, no verse, no prayer, no forgiveness can save you. do you want that?” 

you didn’t care, you wanted soobin, every part of him you needed. even if that meant staying with him for the rest of your life, you didn’t care. 

you nodded your head but that wasn’t the answer he wanted. 

“you need to say it baby. invite me.” 

“yes…! i.. fuck i invite you…!” 

his middle and ring finger traced the circle on your stomach flashing red when finished. soobin wasted no time bringing you to your room and throwing you on the bed. 

he threw his shirt off, his spiked tail moving side to side in excitement. he pulled down your shorts and panties in one movement, seeing your cunt unbelievably soaked. 

“fuck…” he breathed, pulling your ankles and dragging you down to the end of the bed. he brought your thighs around his head, flattening his split tongue separating your folds. your back arched from the bed, gripping onto your sheets for mercy. you tasted so good, so sweet and addicting.

ideas of what to do to you kept running through his mind. he wanted to see you on your knees, he wanted to see it slide into you, he definitely wanted to taste you to the point he wouldn’t forget your taste. everything was running through his mind and his dick. his hand climbed up your body, finding its way to your breast pinching your nipple between his fingers. his tongue never finding a break between your folds; his split tongue scissoring along your clit intensely then finally making its way into your entrance. your thighs began to shake around his head, threatening to close around him but of course he wasn’t going to let that happen. he slapped your quivering thigh making you whine at the pain only for it to be followed by two more slaps. his tongue showed no mercy, reaching places within you making your build up come quicker than usual. 

he pulled away, bringing himself up to look into your eyes. his nails contracted into a human-like nail bed making it easier for him to coat his digits with your arousal. his slick lips finding its way to your chest,your neck, and then to your cheek. 

“you want me right here baby?” he groaned against your cheek. his fingers only grazing your clit and entrance, making it messier. for a slight second his hand stopped its menstrations causing a whine to fall from your lips, bucking up into nothing trying to follow his touch. 

but fuck he didn’t like that. 

a wave of pain ran through you as his hand slapped your cunt. he licked at your cheek with a smile forming on his lips. then he did it again. 

and again…

and again…

“you’re not gonna answer me babe..?” the salty taste of your tears fell on his tongue as he continued to lick your reddened cheek. of course a slut like you would enjoy that pain, your pussy getting wetter by the second. his fingers slowly rubbed against your clit, riling you up more. “tell me that you want me.” 

his name fell from your lips as his digits slid through your entrance. the pace was antagonizing yet so fucking delicious. who would've thought that would send you over the edge? 

“shit…” you gasped as your pussy convulsed around his fingers. the rope finally snapped, making your mind go blank and body go numb. soobin chuckled to himself as he pulled his fingers out, cum slowly rolling down his fingers. 

“you’re so pathetic.” bringing his fingers towards his mouth, his tongue licked around his covered fingers making you clench around nothing. the sight was unbearable, you could feel your gut begin to churn again at the lewd view. he’s a demon for a reason, looking so sinful by doing the most unholy thing. his fingers made its way back into you, curling against your g-spot drawing out moans that fell from your lips once again. you whined at the overstimulation but fuck you loved it. 

“—ant it… inside…” you begged. you couldn’t take the foreplay any longer. he pursed his eyebrows up as he looked at your face. you turned your head over to look at him, chest heaving up and down and drool running down the side of your lip. “soobin..” 

god you were so beautiful. his chest felt tight as he watched you beg for him, only saying his name. he brought his hands toward his sweats, dick begging to be released. his dick flew to his belly button, precum slapping against it. you lifted yourself onto your elbows wanting a glimpse of what was going to go inside you and holy shit— 

“i wonder if it’ll fit?” he smiled to himself. his hand wrapped around his dick slowly pumping it. you lifted yourself up just a little bit more, bringing your quivering hand to his shaft. “it will…” you whispered. he watched your actions with lidded eyes, feeling his heart pound in his chest faster and faster. you pumped his cock slowly, feeling the vein pulse against your soft hand. your thumb rubbed against his tip and his frenulum, collecting his precum. his head fell back at the sensation, fucking into your hand wishing it was your throat already. “can i… um…” 

he knew what you wanted, you wanted to finally taste him as well. he brought his head back to look down at those same glowing eyes only making his dick twitch more. he brought his hand to his face, smiling into his palm. “you’re gonna drive me insane.” 

he grabbed at your ankles again, pulling you closer to his standing dick. he brought his tip to your entrance slowly pushing it in bringing out an elongated moan from the both of you at needed feeling. his nails retracted against your hips, losing control of his abilities. “damn you feel so good.” he pushed himself more into your heat finally bottoming out forcing your breath to  quicken trying to regain calmness but fuck his dick was so big it was unbearable. his thumbs rubbed circles against your sides, shushing you. “you’re okay… you’re okay i got you.” 

he pulled his hips away slowly pulling out a gasp from your lips. the pain was turning into intoxicating pleasure, bringing a moan out to  indicate you were fine. the grip on your hips became tighter as he jolted his hips into you. 

there was no turning back now. 

the sound of skin slapping at a fast pace ripped through your silent room. his sharp teeth bit into his plump bottom lip causing some blood to run down them. your voice wouldn't stop, the force this man—demon—was using was pushing it out of you more and more. your breast jumped from the impact, becoming a beautiful view for him. 

“it’s like you want your neighbors to hear you,” he smirked. your neck was too far for him to reach, resulting in his tail to wrap around your neck, pressing against the arteries causing your head to go light.

“oh… mygod—“ you choked out. soobin was making a complete slut out of you, using his abilities to bring the sin out of you. his tail became tighter around your neck making you moan at the pressure. you could only imagine how disgusting you both looked. 

and you were right, it was fucking disgusting. 

“open your eyes, lovely.” 

you slowly opened your lids and found a random mirror on the ceiling. soobin’s tail around your throat, his head thrown back in pleasure, and your body convulsing around him. fuck it was so hot. the view of his dick thrusting inside of you and the strings of arousal sticking to his body after each thrust was the breaking point for you. 

“gonna cum…!” you mewled. his tail brought your body up just a little to make eye contact with him. his eyes dark instead of gold, making you whimper even louder. “then beg.” 

pleads fell from your lips as that rope was starting to snap again. his tongue stuck out just a little and his sharp teeth showed into a smirk. he was approaching his high as well and the need to cum inside of you was incredible. 

“cum with me..” he groaned, his thrusts becoming more frantic and off pace. your voice gradually became louder as you clenched around his dick. that action alone made him release inside of you, his warm cum hitting your walls and sliding out of you. he pulled his dick out, seeing the cum drip out of your spazzing cunt. fuck, you were beyond everything he wanted. he couldn’t believe that you, the one that he desperately needs, bonded to him for the rest of your life. god, he felt his dick get hard again, eyes wavering between your fucked out face and your cunt. before he even realized, he was stuffing himself back into you. 

“i…i can’t— ahh… fuck soobin please…” the overstimulation was too much but he felt so right against your walls. he brought his chest against yours, lips attached to your neck as he slowly fucked into you. 

“fuck i’m losing my mind…” he breathed into your ear. his hips started to speed up, listening to the lewd sounds you and him were making. his groans turned into whimpers as he rutted into you. “feel so good…” 

his name fell from your lips again, your hips meeting him at a perfect pace. your nails dug into his wide back, biting into his shoulder as your moans got louder. fuck he was approaching fast and so were you. 

“kiss me,” you whined. he pecked at your cheek until he finally met your sore lips. teeth clashing here and there and moans being drowned out by the other’s lips. your cunt clenched around his dick, milking every little bit of him out. 

he lifted himself off of you looking at your half-conscious state. the seal on your stomach appeared once again, glowing red. the same two fingers he used earlier he used again, tracing the outline to officially complete the seal. 

“see you soon, ____.” 

[babyleostuff]

Omg your Minghao soft hours absolutely have my HEART. If you’re up for it, could I request a PT.2? Maybe reader wakes up in the morning feeling a bit better and gives Hao kisses as a thank you?!

the thought of kissing or making out w hao and having puffy pink lips after will forever drive me i n s a n e

kisses for hao | xu minghao

a little extension of this soft hour thought

genre | fluff [is a bit suggestive]

author's note | blonde hao is so fucking pretty, i just want to run my finger through his hear and kiss his pretty lips, god help me

Your eyes fluttered open, as the rays of the morning sun seeped through the curtains, warmth grazing your exposed shoulder, which Hao’s shirt failed to cover. You couldn’t  remember the last time you woke up so content, but you were sure that the body pressed to your back had something to do with it. 

Slowly, as not to wake the sleeping man next to you, you rolled over to your back, so you could fully take in the figure of your boyfriend, who looked as happy as you - even in his sleep. It wasn’t often that you got to wake up next to each other, your crazy schedules, his tours and endless flights made it almost impossible. 

His newly dyed blond hair made him look like an angel in the morning light, contrary to his toned upper body and perfect arms that the bedsheet failed to cover that made you think of anything else but angelic things. 

You carefully swept back the hair that fell onto his face, gently threading your finger through the soft strands. Almost as he could sense your featherlight touch, Minhgao stirred in his sleep, his perfect lips letting out a content sigh. 

“Good morning, bǎobèi,” he murmured, his eyes still closet, but with an evident smile on his face. 

“Mmm, it’s definitely a very good morning seeing you like this,” you giggled at how fast he opened his eyes, immediately noticing how most of his body was uncovered. 

“Isn’t it too early to think about how perfect I am?” You couldn’t believe you actually had this man in your bed, the annoying smirk on his face with a body out of your dreams. 

“It’s never too early, Hao,” you laughed, and put your hand on his chest, scratching lightly the expanse of his naked skin with your nails. He giggled as if you said the funniest joke ever, something you could listen to 24/7. 

“Thank you for last night. Thank you for taking care of me,” you said in a more serious tone, looking him deeply into his golden brown eyes. “You have no idea how much I needed that.” 

“I’ll always be there for you, darling. No matter where I am, you can always count on me,” Minghao said, his tone mirroring yours. As he raised his arm, his fingerstips grazed your arm, sending shivers down your back, only to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I know, but-,” before you could finish your sentence, Minghao suddenly lunged at you, crushing you with his entire weight, making you let out a genuine laugh of joy. 

“W-what are you doing?” you asked, feeling his wet kisses all over your collarbone and neck, as his hands found their way under your (his) shirt. 

No matter how many times stuff like these led to sex, there was nothing sexual about it now - you were like two idiots in love, grateful that you could finally spend a perfect morning together, exchanging not so innocent touches and kisses in the comfort of your shared bedroom. 

“I should be the one kissing you,” you kept on laughing, as his kisses neared your lips. 

“Why?” he smiled at you, placing another one on your cheek, this time more gently. “Because of what you did for me yesterday,” you said, placing your hand at the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren't there.” 

The way he smiled could light up even the darkest days, you would never find the right words to express how grateful you were for him, so you hoped that at least your kisses could convey a small part of it. 

You lifted yourself on your elbow, and pulled him closer to you with the hand that held his neck, as he placed his own on your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. You took a second to admire his face now that you could be near him, noticing all of his imperfections that made him so perfect. 

“I love you,” you whispered against his mouth, placing a sweet kiss on his perfectly plump, pink lips, that you’d never be tired of kissing. “I love you even more,” he whispered back. 

For a second, as your eyes met, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you, tangled in your bedsheets, in your own little universe. With a gentle, almost hesitant approach, you leaned in closer, sealing your lips in another heartfelt kiss. 

Your mouths moved together in perfect harmony, and the taste of morning lingered on your lips - a mixture of crisp air and the promise of a new day.

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin

[blackopals-world]

Lost my Head

FemNoble!Yuu x Malleus

FemCelestial!Yuu x Lilia

She had reincarnated once more. Once upon a time, they were very similar. But her rage. That primordial rage. It hasn't disappeared.

(Feeling really spooky today. Feminine rage sounds amazing. Let's get bloody)

Warnings: Murder, cannibalism (does this even count), blood(duh)

The egg was due any day now. She could feel it. After so long it was nearly time.

Yuu gazed lovingly at the jet black egg. The most perfect egg in the world. So shiny and smooth.

It was more oval than round which meant it would be a boy. A beautiful little boy.

A few years ago she found the poor thing after his parents died. She would make it right. She would make sure let their legacy die.

She would do her part to make sure that dragons remain. Humans would not fulfill their mission to slay them all. She may have outlived her parents and she may be young but she would remain.

Now she had an egg.

"I wonder if you'll see me as a sister more than as a mom. It's okay either way. You will be closer to my age than anyone is comfortable with. That's okay too." Yuu held the egg above her in her makeshift next.

She wished she had a better nest but humans found the last one. So many treasures were robbed from her not to mention the pelts she used to keep the nest warm.

How long had it been since she'd seen another faerie? Since he isolated herself here. Since she's left the cave. Since she'd eaten.

It can wait. She'd return when the egg hatched.

But it wasn't safe right now. Not with the war.

But she had hope. It won't be long now. Her Majesty would stop them.

Yuu usually dreamed of nothing. Too tired from attending to the egg and surviving to do so. But that night as she wondered what the queen was like and how nice the palace was compared to a dusty cave she dreamed. She dreamed of a life of fancy dresses, extravagant galas, warm beds, glimmering jewels, and never-ending feasts. The child she hatched by her side was treated like a prince and all was well.

It was a childish dream. One that only a child like herself could make. Even dragons dream of being a princess.

When morning came she stretched her wings and peered out of her cave.

Noise.

Human noise.

She could smell them on the wind.

She couldn't let them find the nest.

Quickly she intercepted them fully intent on driving them away. She flapped her wings to create gusts to blow them away and blew what flames she could create at their feet.

It was foolish of her in the end. To try to stop knights trained to kill dragons much older than her. She was nothing but a fledgling to them.

She escaped with a torn wing and sword in her stomach.

She had to get back. She needed to get o the egg before-

In her cave, a separate knight from the group stood. Shreds of eggshell crushed between his fingers and the scent of blood.

"The she-dragon has returned I see." He said wiping his hands clean.

"My egg..."

"There is no egg."

"My...baby. You killed my baby!" She screamed.

"Don't worry, you'll join them."

The knight raised their sword to the already injured dragon. The faerie was already hysterical as she searched for the remains of her child, her only remaining family.

...

Yuu was very hungry.

Did you know that in the wild some animals will starve themselves while hatching eggs? Snakes being one of them. However if their young die they will immediately go back to eating.

...

In her rage, she didn't remember much of what happened next. She was just so angry. Her claws tore him open. Then the scent of his blood was just so good. And she was so hungry and so tired.

But his eyes. His vacant bloodshot eyes kept staring so she...ate them too. And she couldn't stop so she ate his head.

Blood covered her face like a lion's after digging into a fresh kill. It ran down her face and chest as she licked her lips.

"I ate it. I ate his head. Its all gone. Hahaha! Its all gone! All in one bite! So tasty!" Her mind was gone as well. Never to return.

Hungar and grief melded together and that night a scourge was created. A rampaging she-dragon devoured every human in sight. She fashioned a crude crown for herself out of bone and danced in the moonlight with headless bodies in a mock waltz. She sang and she wept. She called out for her baby and laughed. She had truly lost her mind.

And when morning came. She was leaned against a tree. Her hair matted with dried blood. Her skin dyed red. Her gapping wound open for all to see. And dead as can be.

The general of Her Majesty's army arrived at daybreak to examine the carnage. He didn't see the monster that the humans saw.

He saw a poor little girl, caught in a war and battle not her own. She never wanted any of this.

War mandatory monsters of everyone. At least she went out fighting like a true soldier.

Perhaps now he would look back and say he had done something wrong but he used her. He made her into a martyr an example to his soldiers of what they were fighting for and what they should strive for. Her story became immortalized as " The Red Princess and the Knight Feast"

It was later that day a small pip was found after being stolen after their hatching. It didn't take long for everyone to connect the dots.

The child was adopted by one of the commanding officers shortly after. The kid eventually was named The Red Prince after a haunting event. Maybe it ran in the family.

The goddess knew on sight that the girl was dangerous. Her soul was full of rage, greed, and hunger.

She had chosen not to rest and a soul left unfulfilled was doomed to return.

She was drawn to Malleus. Her son had no idea what was getting into. And of course Malleus fell for her.

She couldn't bear to separate them. She pitied the poor girl. She had no idea who she was but the goddess feared the day would come when she did.

Still, a forthright girl like that who was the very picture of nobility suited her son well.

She told her husband of her fears but Lilia only nodded and smiled. He was ecstatic by the development. He believed she was perfect.

Maybe she was being too harsh. She understood the girl, a mother's love is dangerous after all.

"Sebek, put this annoying man in the trebuchet." The princess said crossing her arms.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU DONT GIVE ME OR-" Sebek clammed up when he was glared at over the lady's fan.

"Do it." She said emphasizing the T in a voice like venom.

Yeah, the goddess knew why Lilia liked her so much.

[sugarpartyy]

I saw your post about requests, thought I might put in a request for Wally with a reader that talks in their sleep?

AN: Well guys, here’s my very first piece of writing. Hope y’all like it!

Wally Darling with a reader who talks in their sleep

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff, with hints of romance

I like to go with the hc that Wally doesn’t sleep. So if you were to fall asleep with him, it would most likely be you cuddling him while he pets your head or holds you in his arms.

I imagine that he’s the type to read a story or talk to you so you can fall asleep. He has a very soothing voice after all.

The first time he heard you talk in your sleep was when you were having a sleepover with him. You were cuddled up with him under the blankets all warm and cozy while there was a thunderstorm outside.

There was a flash of thunder and it managed to get a reaction out of you. He remembers you saying something along the lines of “Quit being so loud. I’m trying to [insert your favorite hobby] over here.”

To say the least he was surprised. He looked down at you fascinated with what you had just muttered. This was new to him, he had never heard someone talking in their sleep before. Of course he knew it existed, he’s just never witnessed it until now.

For the rest of the night he didn’t hear you utter another word and when he brought it up to you in the morning, you were embarrassed about it, shyly denying doing such a thing.

All he did was give you a little smile that told you that he was amused by you and your sudden shyness.

After that he started to notice the times when you would softly mutter words in your sleep. Sometimes, they would be full sentences while other times it was just gibberish and poorly stringed together words.

He found it cute that you did this and tended to write down some of the cute and funny things you said so he could talk to you about them later. He grew fond of your sleepily muttered words and dare I say almost got upset when you didn’t say anything.

It was something he had grown to look forward to in the wee hours and he always gave you such a soft and loving look when you did speak. He especially loved when you would snuggle into him when you spoke relishing in your warmth and soft mumbles.

Here’s a short Drabble about this:

Warnings: none

Fluff, not specifically mentioned but hints of romance

Wally looked up from his mug when he heard the soft footsteps emerging from the hallway. He saw you walk in, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes and pushing the messy hair out of your face. You looked so cute all sleepy and not fully aware of your surroundings yet. He smiled when you looked up at him yawning greeting him with a soft “Good morning Wally.”

He watches silently as you walk over and sit across from him. “Good morning darling. How did you sleep?” He asks as he leans over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before moving his hand to caress your face for a moment. He watched as you snuggled into the warmth of his hand before responding, “I slept well, though I had the strangest dream last night.” You pulled a face of confusion. He chuckled and rubbed his thumb across your cheek before asking, “Did it perhaps have anything to do with laser eyed sharks and giraffes fighting?” You pulled your face away from his hand and pulled a shocked look. “How did you know what I was dreaming about!?” You sounded alarmed. He smiled and looked at you for a moment thinking of how to respond.

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep darling?” His smile widened when he saw you grow red and quickly look away. “What? No I don’t. Quit spouting nonsense Wally!” You protested trying not to let your embarrassment show. “Oh yes you do dear in fact, I can recall more times of you sleep talking than I can count on my fingers!” You could no longer hide the embarrassment and stuffed your face into your arms hoping that the ground would just swallow you whole. “You are such a liar I would never do that! You think I would know by now if I sleep talk!” All Wally did was chuckle and Pat you on the head before he resumed drinking his coffee.

[britcision]

I have not slept more than 5 hours together this whole fucking week and not more than 7 hours a day

It is therefore appropriate today to give you TIM! And TUCKER! All aboard the Lore Drop!

Chapter 14’s nearly fucking done I swear I was waylaid but I think I have solved the problem. Now the new second secret much bigger problem is my intense desire to commit Dragon Age crimes

Soooo chapters will probably stay a lil slower here for a bit, but hopefully not this slow again until June, when I will be Busy As Shit

————-

A Good Excuse To Be A Bad Influence V

It was a weird feeling to have his body shaken while his consciousness was so far from it.

Feeling his face pull into a frown not quite mirroring what he felt it should be. Tucker could never have explained precisely what part of him entered his devices; just that it was him.

Quintessential, pure essence of Too Fine. Everything he was without the meat he was born in.

But then he did have to slot back into that meat, and trying to do that without matching positions always left him feeling weirdly off kilter the next day. Like he’d put on a shirt but the shoulders were skewed too short.

So despite not being conscious of a face on his extended form, Tucker tried to form it into a frown anyway, sliding back under his own skin like a teen sneaking back through a window after curfew.

Hadn’t those been heady days?

Eyes slowly opening, it took Tucker a moment to remember how to focus them. That they weren’t cameras. But then Tim Drake-Wayne came into focus, and the frown changed to a grin even before he fully “woke up”.

“Morning,” he mumbled, rolling and stretching, getting used to the feeling of a body again. It was a little weirder each time, which he might have worried about if he didn’t see himself as an extension of his PDA anyway.

“You were singing in your sleep,” Tim told him without preamble, returning the smile.

Tucker hesitated for a moment, suddenly embarrassed. If… well. If he’d been singing along, that…

Look he’d picked songs that’d embarrass Danny, he wasn’t gonna give a fuck about it. The only actual question was, did he tell Tim?

Who else would ever understand better just what it meant to interact with tech the way he could? Could get excited with him about how cool it was?

He wasn’t fucking gushing to Technus. No way. Tuck was easily the one winning that ongoing hackathon, but it was the principle of the thing.

To the zone with it. Tim knew about Amity Park, he knew about the ghosts and the liminal tech. And while they hadn’t exactly discussed liminal people, it’d come up.

Tim could have a sneak preview. As a treat.

Decision made, Tucker gave the younger man another broad smile because yeah, bragging about your super powers to a very cool and impressive person? That felt good.

Tim might be a vigilante too, but Tucker was pretty sure Jason was the only souped up Robin. Most of the bats were famously power free.

“Oh, yeah. I was bullying Danny,” he explained with a light chuckle, glancing up to find his beloved PDA, Ida. She was half under a blanket now, so he tugged her back out.

Tim chuckled softly, leaning back and stretching himself.

“Good dream?” He asked and Tucker snickered, stroking gently across the screen.

“Danny wishes it was a dream.” Tucker paused, frowning a little at the confusion on Tim’s face. “So you remember we kinda talked about the whole liminal thing?”

That seemed to jog Tim’s memory, confusion fading into an analytical frown that Tucker was already becoming familiar with. That good ol’ geek face.

“The humans with budding ghost powers,” he agreed, and Tucker had to wonder if maybe he just hadn’t put the right pieces together yet.

He hadn’t exactly said that most of Amity Park were liminal, but it was a little hard to remember he had to. Like, they lived on a portal to Hell.

Maybe he shoulda.

Well, at least it was a cool way to introduce it to him.

Tucker pulled Ida into his lap, flipped her over, and tapped the plain plastic backing to demonstrate.

“Mine’s a low level technopathy at the moment,” he explained as the PDA hummed and then began playing… well, still Montero, so he flicked it again and changed it immediately to Country Roads.

Tim was watching him with a kind of hungry fascination, and Tucker turned the music off with a thought, then passed her to Tim so he could check for secret touchpads.

“It’s not something I can do with anything,” he explained with a modest shrug, grinning with pride as Tim immediately got to scanning the casing.

All simple plastic, not even biometrics; what would be the point? Even touching the PDA was pretty much a formality at this point. She was a part of him.

“Technopathy? So you can control it with your mind? Why not with anything?” Tim asked eagerly, hands stroking over the plastic, eyes darting between it and Tucker.

Like he wasn’t sure which was more interesting, Tuck or tech, and Tucker absolutely took that as a compliment.

“It has to be a device I’ve really gotten into. Like, down to the source code, or something I’ve cracked before a couple times, and then I can just feel how all of it works.”

Tucker wiggled his fingers demonstratively and the PDA beeped to life under Tim’s hands, making the other man gasp. And yeah, totally envy in those cute blue eyes he turned all balefully on Tucker.

“How many of the functions can you use? Anything the PDA can do, or…” Tim trailed off, clearly thinking of everything he’d already seen the PDA do.

The real question would have been what couldn’t Ida do. And honestly? Yeah, Tucker remembered the trial phase.

He gave another shrug.

“Technically? Yeah, anything it can do, but I still prefer hacking the old fashioned way. Most of the network stuff too, cuz I’m only really “in” the PDA. Or Danny or Sam’s phones.”

Tucker hesitated, wondering how best to really explain the difference. Danny had never been any good at it, Tucker’d had no idea what he was talking about from the video game thing right up until he’d been sucked in himself.

Which… was probably gonna be a next-hangout adventure for Tim and the bats. And Oracle, if he could swing it.

For now he gave up, giving Tim a hopeless grin.

“Honestly it’s something you’ve really gotta feel for yourself. Danny’s great at the transition from real world to code, but he always just punches things, y’know? Turns out knowing how code is actually supposed to work doesn’t translate well to being part of it,” he added with a sigh.

Because frankly? It was bullshit unfair. Tucker could code an entire other galaxy around Danny with his eyes closed, but put them in the same metaphysical layer as a firewall and Danny could just.

Punch it.

Which, theme for the week, was also not how firewalls fucking worked. At some point Tuck figured he’d either gain a new level of understanding through liminality, or give up and ask Technus a couple questions.

Technus was currently Tucker’s subject instead of Danny’s anyway. They’d made a bet.

Which meant Technus shoulda told him about their shenanigans in time, which was probably what Tucker would hold over his head for the whole firewall thing.

It was so nice when things just worked themselves out.

Tim looked a little disappointed, but mostly still intrigued. Tucker could see his fingers just itching for his own tablet to take notes.

“Do you think that’ll change?” He asked, blurting it out like he couldn’t hold back now that Tucker stopped talking, “I mean, if you become more liminal? Or just practice your abilities more?”

And see, this was what Tucker loved about Tim Drake-Wayne. They were on the same wavelength. He grinned back.

“Probably. But I mean, it’s kinda cheating too. For now I kinda like that I have to do things the way I always used to first, before any ghostly powers kick in. It’s more me, y’know?” And like hell he’d let anyone think his code skills were just some meta ability.

He’d worked damn hard for those skills, and he was damn good. One of the best, and he was also good enough to know he still wasn’t actually top of the charts.

That was the Oracle, although knowing they still hadn’t cracked his servers felt really good.

Tim was all but vibrating, clearly full of questions, but they were both interrupted by a loud growl from Tucker’s stomach. Immediately echoed by Tim’s, so at least he wasn’t alone.

The two shared sheepish grins, and then Tucker stretched.

“So, breakfast and then Twenty Questions?” He offered cheerfully, and Tim nodded at once, thrusting the PDA back and rolling off the frankly massive bed.

——————

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[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Congrats for 1000 followers 🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳

2: “I want to fuck you until you can only remember my name.”　,Steve Rogers, 7: Mutual pining

for soulmate au,please🥺🥺

Waiting for a Sign

Steve Rogers x soulmate!reader

Sometimes the answer is right in front of your face

Warnings: some smut but not fully smut, both reader and Steve are virgins but Steve is a closet freak (as we all know he is), mutual pining, semi-public sex, fingering

WC: 2.1k

Minors DNI

2: “I want to fuck you until you can only remember my name.” 7: Mutual pining 1: Soulmate au

1000 Follower Celebration

Steve was a stupid man. Not in the way you’d think though. He was highly intelligent in many aspects, he could easily read people’s behaviours, he knew many languages (French was his favourite), and his memory was downright perfect. But for all those smarts and talents, he was still a complete idiot, as Sam loved to remind him.

The main reason he was an idiot was in regards to his soulmate. The person he was destined to spend eternity with, to marry and have a family, to have everything he’s ever dreamed about. A symbol had been carved onto his collarbone the day he turned 18, the black ink standing out against his naturally pale skin.

It was a collection of stars that seemingly formed the petals of a rose. He adored it. All his adult life, he imagined the person that wore the same mark. What would they be like? He knew that, whoever they were, they would be the most beautiful person in existence. He had no doubt about that.

But after coming out of the ice, he lost almost all hope that he was ever going to find them. Sam told him not to give up, that they may be closer than he thinks. He ignores him, there are bigger fish to fry now. But sometimes, he lets himself dream, particularly of the plump little woman that was recently hired in Stark Industries as Pepper’s new assistant, Y/N.

“Such an idiot.” The Falcon sighs, watching his friend do his usual morning routine, completely oblivious to the loving gaze of the new addition to the tower from only a few feet away. “Tell me about it.” Natasha huffs glaring at the pair who unknowingly dance around each other.

“Is there a reason we can’t tell them? You know for a fact it would make our lives easier.” “They have to figure it out for themselves. But yes, it could be so much easier if we just told them.” Sam retorted, rolling his eyes as Y/N’s head snapped down to her (locked) phone, pretending not to have been staring at Captain America when he turned back around. 

Steve sighed as he looked down at the young woman. She was wearing her usual work attire, a plain emerald blouse with a high waisted pleated skirt that always swayed around her plump ass, not that Steve ever noticed that (he totally did). The matching blazer was hanging over the chair she was perched on, along with the small over the shoulder bag she carried with her everywhere. She was beautiful, no doubt about that, but more than that, she was kind and intelligent and the most genuine person he had ever met.

As he sipped from his coffee, Steve couldn’t help but trace the soft lines of her curves while she was distracted with her phone, presumably finalising Pepper’s schedule for the day. “…Steve? Did you hear what I said?” His head snapped up, face flushing at having been caught.

“What?” Nat’s forehead fell to the kitchen counter, grunting in annoyance. The younger man groaned and repeated his question. “Are you coming down to train, man?” “Yeah yeah um, I’ll be down in a minute.” He stammered, trying to hide his blush behind the coffee mug, eyes darting away as Y/N looked up from her phone giggling at Steve’s expression. His cheeks got even redder.

“Alright! Enough of that! We’ll see you down there.” Sam clapped him on the shoulder as he and Nat left the room. Silence settled over the pair, neither of them perceiving the tension hanging thickly in the air. She smiled kindly at the Captain and his heart skipped a beat. Her eyes shone in the morning light, her dewy skin looked incredibly soft.

Y/N watched as Steve seemed to zone out. Her lips parted, tongue darting out to wet her plump bottom lip. He was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. With his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw, as well as a body that could’ve been carved from marble, he was statuesque. He handled himself with more grace than she would’ve expected from a man that doubled in size and weight in less than 10 minutes. His blue eyes shone in the early morning sun, always reflecting deep emotion that seemed to draw her in. And just as she was about to speak, “Y/N! There you are! I’ve had some last minute changes.” Pepper strolled into the room, not at all caring about whatever was going on in the kitchen. 

Steve took that as his cue to slip away, trying desperately to ignore the heat in his cheeks. 

——————

“Oh oh my god! I’m so sorry!” Y/N hissed as the piping hot coffee ran down her front, staining her blouse. The agent that had come around the corner too quickly and without looking and practically dumped the hot beverage onto her was furiously apologetic. “L-let me get you some napkins! I feel so awful!” Y/N waved her off. “It’s fine, I was feeling a bit cold anyway.” She joked, accepting some of the paper towels the agent shoved at her, and dabbing the hot liquid from her chest.

She sighed. This was just great. First she had been benched while Pepper ran meetings with Tony, left Y/N to do all of the paperwork and Pepper wasn’t exaggerating when she said it was a shit-ton. Then, her favourite cafe ran out of her favourite sandwiches so she didn’t have time to find another place to eat lunch, and now, her favourite blouse was stained with the dark brown liquid.

“Just go.” She said to the agent. “I know there’s a mission debrief soon that you can’t miss.” The woman seemed relieved. “Thank you so much and I’m so sorry about this.” And she scampered off. Y/N huffed, still blotting at the dark stain as she walked back to her office, grumbling about how crap her day has gotten.

Thank god Pepper gave her an office with blinds and a solid wood door. Peeling off her blazer and shirt, she pulled out more tissues from her desk, trying to wipe up as much of the coffee as possible not only from the fabric, but also from her skin. She was so grateful she wasn’t wearing a nice bra today, so only her shitty brassiere was stained. Laying her shirt over the small heater in the corner, she turned to throw away the damp tissues when her door was opened.

“Hey Y/N! I noticed you didn’t have any lunch today so I got you this sandwich…” Steve trailed off, frozen in place in the middle of the entryway, a brown paper bag and a to-go cup in hand. “Steve!” She screeched, attempting to cover her naked top half as he stood there, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Close the door!”

He did so. “With you on the other side!” “Oh oh right.” But he made no move to leave, his blue eyes flicking down to her full bust. Heat crawled up her neck as he studied her. “Steve go.” She pleaded, starting to get more self conscious. “Your soul mark.”

Y/N looked down at the tattoo-like drawing on her chest, the rose made of stars looked like it had been painted onto her skin, she usually covered it up since it was in more of an intimate place. “W-what about it?” She tried to turn away but Steve was faster. He dropped the cup and the bag, his big hand grabbing her shoulder to keep her in place. 

With a quick move, his own tight shirt had been pulled over his head and cast to the side. Y/N squeaked, eyes darting to anywhere that wasn’t the super soldier’s body. “Look.” Calloused fingers guided her jaw down and she gasped. There on the Captain America’s very sculpted pec, was a rose made from stars. Tentatively reaching out, she touched his warm skin, tracing the delicate lines of the mark.

“It’s you?” He nodded, a relieved smile overcoming his features. “I’ve waited a lifetime for you.” They paused for a brief moment before their lips crashed together. The kiss was by no means romantic or tender, it was all teeth and tongues as months of tension finally snapped. Muscular arms wrapped tightly around her thick waist to pull her even closer, the need to feel each other growing at an alarming rate.

Y/N’s hands slid up his strong back and tangled in his perfect blond hair, her soft stomach pressed against him, moaning into Steve’s mouth as she felt the length of his hard cock on her tummy. Suddenly she pulled away. “Wait Steve. I have to tell you something.” His grip loosened slightly. “What is it? Do you not want to do this?” She shook her head. “No no. I do. I’ve wanted this for so long. I just- I’ve never done this before.” 

His blue eyes widened before they got darker, lust radiating from them. He dipped down and met her lips once more, immediately snaking his tongue into her mouth, one big palm cupping her plump ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “Me neither.” He groaned in between kisses. “Do you know how hot that is?” Sloppy kisses were placed down her jaw as he spoke. “That we will only have each other for the rest of our lives. That I will only be yours and you will only be mine.”

Y/N moaned, guiding his head to her throat, where he proceeded to bite and suckle the delicate skin, leaving deep marks that she would definitely struggle to cover up tomorrow. “I’m yours Steve. All yours.” Heat pooled between her legs, soaking her panties through. The bigger man rolled his hips into her, desperately trying to relieve his aching cock.

She gasped as her ass collided with the edge of her desk, several items falling to the floor, but Steve didn’t relent, he couldn’t. Not when he finally had her in his arms. Sharp nails scraped down his back and he growled into her neck. His mind was overloaded with  sensations, the way Y/N was mewling into the air, the feel of her skin beneath his lips, the smell of her weeping cunt which seemed to invade his senses with a tangy sweetness, the taste of her sweat on his tongue.

He couldn’t wait anymore.

Thick fingers slipped down her front, nudging her skirt up over her hips so his warm palm could cup her clothed pussy. “Are you ok with this? We can slow down.” She shook her head, hand falling to his wrist and pushing it even closer to the sizable wet patch in her panties. “I want this so bad. Please.” Steve felt like his knees were about to give in as she looked up at him with big doe eyes. 

“Ok ok, lemme just prep you first, I don’t want to hurt you petal.” Oh god, he was going to be the death of her. With delicate movements, like he hadn’t just been sucking on her neck like a fucking vampire, Steve lowered her soaked panties, letting them drop to the floor. He kept his eyes lock on hers as his hand slid up her soft inner thigh, the calloused tips of his fingers barely brushing the folds of her sex. “Steve please.” She breathed, rolling her hips down, needing him to touch her.

But he continued to tease, seemingly hypnotised by the way her wetness gathered on his hand and shimmered in the white light of the fluorescent bulbs above them. It was pure torture, he was so close to where she needed him but still so far away. It just slipped out, her mind already going hazy. “Please Captain.”

The growl that resonated through his chest was downright feral, it was deep and almost animalistic, like she was suddenly trapped in her office with a bear and not a man. “I want to fuck you until you can only remember my name.” In a surprisingly bold move, Y/N bit down on his ear lobe before whispering. “Then do it, Captain.” Steve grabbed her by her wide hips to plant her on top of the desk, immediately stepping between her thick thighs.

His lips were already swollen from their kisses, his pale face a dark red with a flush that spread down his chest. “This may hurt.” His breathing was ragged and he looked to be at the very end of his composure. Wrapping her legs around his small waist, Y/N brought his body to hers, the blunt head of his cock pressed tightly to her virgin opening. “Hurt me.” 

Steve’s blue eyes fluttered and his breath hitched. “You’re going to regret that little girl.” He growled and pushed in, fitting together like a missing puzzle piece. Both exactly where they were meant to be.

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Sindria's Prophet #37

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36]

[AO3] [wattpad]

*CW-Long term affects of medical denial & child abuse, living with PTSD *Kink & toys mentioned

((I keep forgetting to tell you guys: Lyly is pronounced "lee-lee." It's short for their middle name, Llyn/Lynn (<-genderfluid affected spelling)))

~POV Mori~ I woke up gasping. I sat up and wrapped my arms around myself so I could tell the difference between actual physical touch and the phantoms left over from my night terror. My body wouldn't stop shaking; I needed Lyly's help. When I got out of bed I froze. Not only did my bed not have curtains, this wasn't my room. No. This was my room. Sinbad picked it out for me in the guest tower. I was in Sindria; in a whole different dimension. All of the adrenaline supporting me left and I sank to the floor. I was still trembling but I wasn't scared anymore. The people who hurt me couldn't reach me here. I had that dream because after spending the past month hyperfixated on the present, I had been triggered into remembering one of the worst parts of my past, so now I was remembering the rest too. 'Sorry, Lyly.' The safety I had gained in this world was invaluable. I couldn't imagine going home willing. Based on how little light was getting through the curtains it was still the middle of the night. I was drained from my dream, and my hips were still aching but it took a while for my mind to calm back down. Tomorrow and the distractions that came from it couldn't come soon enough.

--- "Alright now, Mx. Prophet," the doctor gave me my diagnosis. Sinbad had him sent first thing in the morning, and his arrival woke me up. "You need to rest for a few days. I'll have painkillers sent over to help with your hip pain, fever, and migraine." With his job done, he saw himself out. 'I can't miss the Morning Assembly! ...But-!' I knew the doctor was right deep down. I was in no condition to do much of anything. I was fine resting when I didn't have obligations, but I had a job now. If I was back home I would have had to give Lyly my keys so I couldn't leave. Five years just wasn't enough to fully rewrite my base instincts. Although, from the new memories I was gaining, the me back home was doing a bit better. Those new memories were why I was healed and practiced enough to stop myself even if a doctor hadn't told me to... especially since I had a fever. As long as both me's kept whatever this connection was then maybe we would also keep the benefits from both sides. --- ~POV Sharrkon~ Mori was the only person that missed the morning Assembly. Yamuraiha had a growing smile throughout the meetings, and now that it ended she mumbled something to Pisti. Shar groaned; he knew where this was going. "Yup." Pisti giggled. "I heard from a reliable source," probably 1 of her boyfriends, "that Mori's not 'sick'. Her hips were injured and her body over worked last night." The King refused to look at the gossips. His silence spoke volumes compared to the past month of him adamantly defending that there was nothing special between him and 'his Beautiful Prophet.' "Oh ho~! It finally happened after I left!" Hina slapped Sharrkan on the back with a laugh. "Looks like the 2 of us have to pay up! But I guess you lost the most, huh?" "Oh, no! I ain't paying nothing! Nothing happened!!" Shar had a hurt ego to nurse and he would not let them step on it harder. "Mori got hurt dancing. Our King had nothing to do with it!" Sharrkon felt a shiver run down his spine that made him hold his tongue. Hina looked to the others for confirmation. "Is that true?" Drakon answered him. "It's true. However, it's also true that Sin carried Mori all the way to their room from the festival." "Oh~? That's proof enough for me." Drakon, Ja'far, Yam, and Pisti agreed with their own comments. The man in question still refused to comment, so Hinahoho addressed him directly. "You're really not going to say anything, Sin? After all of that time, telling us how you don't want to get married?" "Fine. Fine." King Sinbad finally turned to them with his arms crossed. "It's simple really. You know I'm not the type to reveal my hand until I'm certain." Sinbad was smiling, but Shar knew instinctually the King was the threat that told him to stop talking. The giant laughed. "Is that so?" "I know you're aware this is a first for me." Sharkkon's wallet cried with him. He had lost 2 out of 3 bets. It was only a matter of time before he lost the 3rd.

---- ~POV Mori~ The Great Bell rang out. The morning Assembly was definitely over. There were several things I had wanted to do today, and I couldn't do any of them since I had to rest. I needed to meet with Queen Artemina before she left Sindria. I had to solidify our connection as allies, but she was set to leave in a day. As I wrote a letter to send her, the waves shifted. This was the right choice for me, and the future I wanted. The letter would need time to dry before I could send it. I got up from my chair and stopped. I didn't want to lay down again yet no matter how much my body needed it. 'Damnit! How much more of my life am I going to spend sick??' I groaned into my hands. I was born with a weak raspatory system, so I get sick multiple times a year and often end up bedridden. "I am allowed to rest even though I can sit up and walk. Pushing will only make it worse." My mom eventually stopped acknowledging when I would get sick due to the expense which is why I struggle to let myself rest as an adult. I made a point of putting the truth into words to fight her conditioning. I climbed back in bed even though I knew that meant I would be stuck with just my thoughts until I fell back asleep. This was the perfect opportunity to process everything that had happened with Sinbad, but I couldn't think about it at all. Being triggered, recognizing these new memories, and that night terror just made me think about home more -well the place I came from. Even when I was in my room there I often couldn't help but think 'I want to go home' because even though it was comfortable and familiar, I couldn't feel safe. My last therapist told me that as long as I stayed in that house full of reminders there was only a slim chance of me recovering from my CPTSD. If only I could have afforded to move out.

In the new memories I got, our dad finally agreed to reorganize all of the living spaces, so that me and Lyly weren't getting as many flashbacks anymore. Hell, he even apologized for everything and started acting like a real dad some of the time. The me that stayed home was able to persevere until an opening for change finally came. 'If they got Isekai now I wonder if they would want to go home?' The thought had never occurred to this me -just like it never did back when I was in in-patient. Although I was still worried about Lyly like I was then. I rolled over to pull out a scroll from the bedside dressers. When I was on the ship I had worked on all sorts of scrolls and one was a memoir of my life back home. One of the first things I did was draw the people important to me before I'll inevitably forget their faces. I unrolled the scroll. Lyly's face stared up at me from the page. As difficult as that place was to live in all of my loved ones were there. In this world there was no one that knew me, and I wasn't sure if I could let my self get that close to anyone here -especially Sinbad. He already knew how deep some of the scars on my heart are. I didn't want him to think any less of me, or use my pain against me. And even more than that, I was scared that the safety I had here would shatter if I made a wrong step. 'I thought I was doing better.' This world had treated me so well that I fell into a false sense of security. Not being surrounded by reminders of my traumas made me feel like I was somehow cured and could restart from scratch. But that's not how healing works... Being away from triggers just made it easier to avoid having an attack. It's only after feeling safe that we let ourselves feel the emotions that are unsafe to feel in the moment. A few tears fell down my cheeks. I placed the scroll on the bedside table and rolled back towards the middle of the bed. Surely it was okay for me to cry in a situation like this. I allowed myself the luxury even though the tears didn't last long. When I was young I cried just as often from joy as sadness. The abuse I experienced made it unsafe to cry at all, so I learned to cry silently until I eventually stopped crying altogether. Being in this world made me feel like it was okay again. Letting myself actually feel these emotions was an important step in the healing process. Beating myself up for getting triggered and relapsing wouldn't help at all. I needed to forgive myself.

--- One day of rest should be enough, right? It's not like I still had a fever. I didn't want to stay in my room and make an even worse impression. My hips would hurt a little if I over worked them, but that would just act as a limiter. ((<<= This person is in denial))

I got dressed after breakfast, but as soon as I grabbed the doorknob I froze. "Yeah, no." I was not in the mood to see Sinbad in person yet, and I would have to if I left my room. As soon as I took Queen Sinbad's choker back off I felt a wave of relief. It had given me so much dopamine and serotonin when it was part of a fantasy, but now it was a reminder of my fears. How could I mark myself with it when I couldn't feel safe in my own desires? Wearing it felt like a lie. I definitely wouldn't be able to wear it for a while.

'Guess I haven't completely lost my sense of self-preservation.' Besides, I hadn't actually had time to do most of the things I like doing to relax since I got to this world. Going out in this state would be worse than not going out. Another day off as I recover from the stress had to be reasonable.

But what options did I have to relax?

Everyone else was busy with work at this time of day, so I could masturbate without having to worry about being interrupted. But my toybox didn't isekai with me; I only have my hands, and some ribbons for mild shibari. Sinbad said I could make requests, but there was no way in hell I was letting him find about this, let alone use his money for my sex toys. I'll figure out where to get some after payday. The night terror was still fresh in my memory anyway.

Video games, comics, and anime were obviously out of the question. Printing still isn't big enough for fiction to be popular to write -that's part of why Sinbad's Adventure story was such a huge success. I had 3 cats back home, but I can't exactly adopt a new pet while sick. I do sing a lot to relieve stress, but it would be embarrassing to be overheard without knowing. 'Note to self: get carpets to hang up to dampen the sound.' There were places I could go that would be harder to be heard but leaving wasn't an option until I was better. That only left me: writing and drawing.

'Working on Fate scrolls it is!'

The flow of ink was good for my brain. It did more than help calm me; it gave me more perspective but it couldn't give me true answers. 'I wish we could just go back to how things were before that night. How am I supposed to know when I will be ready to see Sinbad again?' He isn't any of the people that hurt me, so why can't I just like him without being afraid of betrayal?

Were Sinbad's actions manipulation, or earnest? Could I trust the safety I felt around him? It was definitely a combination of how he treated me, what I knew from reading his Fate, and how familiar I was with being around those types of manipulation. But there was something strange. When I looked for signs of his manipulation in how he dealt with me, or any expected fallout, nothing came from it. In fact, everything kept ending in my favor. The cycle I was expecting was coming from me, not Sinbad. The waves swirled as I finally let myself think about it.

What was he actually going to say when I cut him off? Even if it was what I thought, would I be able to believe him? Even if I didn't have relationship trauma I don't think I could trust him romantically after reading his Fate. He claimed he wasn't playing the flirting game, but that could have been manipulation. Was it my heart or pride that would be hurt more if he was lying? I couldn't tell yet.

I was lonely. Both in general, and in this world. There was no one that knew me here. And I was too scared to trust the person getting closest to my heart. Even though I didn't want to be seen like this, I didn't actually want to be alone; I just couldn't shake the fear of rejection or punishment I thought was inevitable. I left my windows open just in case. ---

~POV Sinbad~ The King sat on the edge of Mori's bed. He had been unable to visit the first time she was sick. Now that he understood his own feelings he couldn't stay away unless he was on the other side of the world. The only reason he didn't visit the first day was because he knew she needed space away from him. The waves had been trying to guide him here for a while though. Who was he to deny them? No one answered the door when he knocked or called out. The silence and waves worried him. The last report said her current fever was mild, but it could have spiked since then. Mori developed an extremely high fever on the ship several hours after everyone saw she was unwell. He entered without permission only to find his Beautiful Prophet was sleeping peacefully. He had gotten to see her; that would have to be enough. Mori turned her head in her sleep and her bangs fell onto her eye lashes. Sinbad leaned over to move her hair out of the way. He tried to keep his touch light to not wake her, but her eyes fluttered open. Unfocused eyes watched him. "Sin..?" The sound of their voice was a relief. It didn't sound strained at all, only weak from sleep.

"How are you feeling?" They weren't anywhere near as bad as last time. "~*yawn* Better now that I'm awake." "Oh? Did you have a bad dream?" They watched him as what he asked slowly processed in their newly conscious state. "Yeah, I did. Thank you for waking me." "Anytime." Sinbad returned their weak smile with his own. "I guess that's why it wasn't just my waves leading me here." He hesitated. "Mori, what do you think about moving into the Purple Leo Tower? It will be easier to care for you when you get sick. You'll be safer there. And your waves could reach me faster." The same fear from the other night started seeping into their expression. "I'm fine here." But he wasn't fine. "Besides, it will be harder when I have to move out of the Palace." For a moment he forgot how to breathe. "Why would you have to move out?" Why would she ever think she had to leave?? "Would you really be okay with me staying after my visions run out?" The King couldn't stop his hand from reaching to caress their cheek, but he was able to hold back from making contact. "Of course." Mori's brow creased farther and they glanced at his hand. "What about after I share all the knowledge I have from my world? I wasn't an engineer. I only know the basics." Sinbad's heart dropped. From the beginning Mori had been marketing herself as a resource, and he had only ever responded positively. Yet another way he'd messed up without even realizing it. "Of course, I'll still want you by my side." The more he was able to peer into Mori's heart the more worried he got. "You are a person, not a resource. You do know that, don't you?" Mori closed their eyes and leaned their head towards his hand; he took that as permission. Their cheek didn't feel feverish. They spoke flatly about their emotions like they did the night of the Announcement. "I know that logically, but I struggle with knowing how to act if I'm not helping someone." They brought a hand up to his. "I really do like helping people, but sometimes it feels like that's all I am. It's what I had to do to survive since I was little." Ah. He could understand that thought process. Sinbad had been a caregiver for his mother and village from a very young age, and went straight from that to king's candidate. There was very little time in his life when he wasn't working towards helping someone. Drinking, and philandering became his break from that -although he would hopefully be narrowing that last point to one person soon. "You seemed to do just fine at the festival." So fine that he couldn't deny his feelings anymore. "Huh? -Oh. Yeah. I guess I did." Her expression softened into a genuine smile. "It was probably going around the festival that got me sick though." It was mainly stress according to the doctors' report. Mori closed her eyes with a yawn. "I'll have to keep more distance between me and the citizens next time. I didn't realize I was so interesting." "You're incredibly interesting." They let out a quiet chuckle. "If you say so." Sinbad watched and felt as they turned their face into his palm, and sighed. Mori relaxed more into his hand with each breath as if his scent and touch were comforting. It bubbled up desires he knew he shouldn't act upon with a sick or unconscious person and yet he couldn't make himself leave either. He took a moment to ground himself but it did little good. He couldn't bring himself to leave until after Mori let go of his hand. To think another person would have this much power over him. "You really are amazing." There was absolutely no way he'd ever allow anyone else to see this side of them. Mori would be moved to the Purple Leo Tower in time, and would just have to learn through experience that he had no intentions of letting them go. ---

~POV Mori~ I woke up to the Great Bell the next morning. Sinbad being here was not a dream. I had just been too groggy to question the situation. What was the point of staying home, if he was going to visit me in person?

On the plus side, seeing Sinbad while I wasn't stuck in my trauma brain helped break the cycle of questions. Sinbad might be stubborn but through his whole life he is shown being someone fully willing to change his mind when given enough information. At this point in the story he is someone with conviction who says his truth directly -even if he often speaks in a manipulative way. So when he said he's chosen a new path, he meant it -even if I don't know what that means yet. And when he is shown seducing women, the idea of moving any of them into the Purple Leo Tower would never be considered, let alone offered -even in private. And yet he offered that to me.

Sinbad was changing and I'd never be able to accept how if I stayed cooped up in my room. To understand myself, and Sinbad I needed to spend more time around him. My rest was over. I didn't need to jump all the way in at once. I'd see him at the morning Assemblies, swap pleasantries, and part ways until the next day. 'Slow and steady.' --- ~POV Sinbad~ Was this how Hina and Drakon felt when they looked at their wives before they got together? Just seeing Mori enter the halls of the White Capricorn Tower made his heart swell. And hearing their voice? Well, he was starting to understand why Ja'far had been so upset with him since they returned from Balbadd. Even seeing Mori dressed androgynously didn't shake his feelings -though it was a bit jarring after how they dressed for the Announcement. It just cemented that what he felt wasn't simply based on how Mori presented. They were undeniably the most beautiful person in the world to him now.

After going through more options than necessary, the first thing the Dungeon Capturer managed to say to Mori was, "I'm happy to see you're feeling better."

"Yes. And thank you for visiting me while I was resting." Mori's smile made him feel at peace. Seeing them up close confirmed that they cut their bangs some. "But never enter my room without explicit permission again." Their sharper tone pierced him repeatedly with each sentence. "That includes the bird by the way. If my curtains are closed or I don't answer the door: don't enter my room."

He wore a smile to ease their anger. "Of course. It won't happen again."

Even as Mori accepted his response and left, the King couldn't get his heart to stop racing. Why did there have to be so many large risks of ruining his chances when he already knew she liked him from reading his Fate?

--- ~POV Mori~

As soon as the Assembly was over, I fled to the Black Libra Tower. 'He said he was happy I was better! AND he didn't say anything about about my change of gender expression!' Sinbad said all of two words directly to me and I started short circuiting. I remembered that he offered to move me to his tower -the one he sleeps in???- and immediately went on the defensive. I was not as ready as I thought!! I was going to need my favorite hyperfixation to survive the rollercoaster I was trapped on. And if it didn't exits yet, then I was going to reinvent it myself! It would be relatively easy to make a printing press since this fanfic was in English instead of whichever Arabic language was the region's canonical one, or Japanese like the series was originated in. Both require significantly more characters than English, and some kanji can be too intricate to make with this world's current level of technology. Speaking of which, this world had stamps and seals so this next level of printing shouldn't be too crazy of a change. I took some print making classes in high school and college, so I got to use a few different scale printing presses. I knew enough to draft prototypes. I excelled at typography in college too -so well that the department head signed off on me skipping a few courses so I could get to the high level stuff faster. The typography was digital, but I still learned enough to draft prototypes of stamps and such. ('A shame I couldn't afford higher than an Associates Degrees.) Since I was working on a table in the middle of one of the libraries, people came up to ask me about what I was doing. I gave a brief summary to the latest onlooker, before I pointed to the examples I was drafting. "I see." His voice was familiar but I was too focused to register it. The person moved around the table to read the part I had finished this morning. He made a few sounds of recognition as he read. "Won't spelling out each word every time be a hassle?" "Well, yeah. It's better to have most words premade. And full lines of text can be fused together to make reprinting more issues easier and faster." He pointed to a spot on the parchment. "Ah- that's what this part is then." My eyes were drawn to the glint of his rings. Every cell in my body remade itself as my brain finally acknowledged who was talking to me. "That is convenient." Sinbad's voice was unmistakable now that I was paying attention. I prayed to every God I knew of that my emotions didn't show in my actions or voice. "This might be a new technology here, but you won't have to completely reinvent the wheel thanks to my 'visions.'" I had to focus on my breathing to keep my heart rate down. I was able to keep the conversation moving, but I wasn't sure I would remember it well. I was more focused on not looking like an idiot. We had exchanged greetings at the morning assembly but this was the first time I was talking to him fully sober in days. His polite gestures and this conversation made my heart swell, but he wasn't flirting; he was just existing while being attractive. 'Why did I have to start thinking it could be mutual??? I can't even enjoy it like this!' If anything starts there's going to be an end.

--- ~POV Sinbad~ Sinbad didn't have a 'real' reason for visiting Mori in Black Libra Tower on their first day back, but, as King, there was no one who would question him. Although, Ja'far would come to get him if he's away from his responsibilities for too long. He arrived a bit after lunch to find Mori sitting at a table in the middle of the library where anyone could and did come talk to them. The proof being that they didn't beat an eye at his questions. In fact, it sounded like they had explained about this stamp system multiple times. Mori needed their own office in the tower. He'd make sure they got one asap. As interesting as this new technology was, Sinbad kept finding himself staring at his Beautiful Prophet more. It was hard enough to focus at his own desk -let alone when Mori was right in front of him. Sinbad had heard that acknowledging the feeling makes it stronger, but he wasn't expecting this. Mori tensed for a moment before scooting their chair away from him. He had been leaning closer to them without realizing, and they moved away. How was this the same person that fell asleep holding his hand the previous day? Were they just too tired back then to remember what was going on? Did they think it was a dream? He definitely shouldn't flirt with them while they were this uncomfortable to be around him. Would they even be willing to hold his arm while they walked together? He didn't think so. Sinbad took a moment to ground. Even if Mori had turned into a feral cat or wild rabbit around him, the way they watched him when they thought he wasn't looking was a sign that they wouldn't mind being tamed by him. They had enjoyed his company before; he just needed to remind them of that. The only question was if he could regain Mori's trust before he had to leave for the Kou Empire.

((OMGOSH I did not expect this to take this long. At least a month of that gap was from back-to-back illness too, so it took even longer. My digestive track turned off for 24 hours and took 48 to fully come back online. While I was in recovery I caught a really bad upper raspatory infection that gave me a 103F fever for a week. So of course my period hit me like a freight train a week later. Somehow I was ill the weeks around the holidays and not on them, but it was a still a super rough couple of weeks. I'm better now :D which is why I was able to have the energy to write.

I processed a lot of my emotions while working on these chapters. They're all things I already knew, but consolidating them like this helped me see more of the places they were affecting me, and cement in my head that it is okay to move forward. :D

This arc is 3 chapters long including this one. Since I do have the next 2 written already, I just need to refine them and make the art, so there shouldn't be as long as a break for the next chapter. Like this chapter, they will have scenes of Mori processing their emotions. I needed a lot of time to edit them down a ton since there's obviously things I don't intend to post on the internet, and I want the story to feel good to read chapter to chapter. I've already got the next arc started too. It's a lot of character confrontations that became discarded drafts of earlier arcs, but definitely need to happen now. Since I have those drafts as a basis, I hope to get that arc ready before I finish posting this one. I have another DeadEnd chapter to post, and a few one shots I almost have ready. I've been posting wips and art for for them on patreon, but I won't be posting them here until I have full chapters ready U-U))

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

Restless, Respite

my take on the final scene of the Hold On ending | Head Engineer Mark x The Captain (can be read as platonic) | Words: 1,232 | read on AO3

basically I was thinking far too much about how we are presumably the last to wake up that final time (besides the colonists) and how it seems like the crew has been up for a while and how engineer Mark might be feeling about that (not good)

The Head Engineer tapped his fingertips anxiously on the rim of his coffee mug.

The Captain hadn't woken up yet.

It had been a good half hour of the Invincible II’s various personnel filling the bridge and every other area of the ship. The crew leads conferred with each other and their respective teams to ensure everything was fully functional and ready to move on to the next phase of the mission. The entire crew was bustling, eager to set foot on their new home, the promise of a new life awaiting them.

Still, the Captain did not stir.

Despite assurance from the computer AI that all systems were nominal, Mark had checked every major system personally, and with a little more caution than usual. If anyone noticed the slight lack in his typical blasé confidence, they didn’t mention it.

They'd had time to run diagnostics, prepare equipment and shuttles to take down to the surface, and all have their “morning” coffee. All except The Captain and Mark.

With a quiet sigh, he pressed a few icons on his tablet, issuing a command to the system to reheat their drink for the fifth time. They'd wake up any minute now, for sure.

Celci let him know that all one hundred thousand colonists were doing well, and seemed a little surprised when his response didn't hold quite the same bite as most of their interactions. (She also insisted that there was nothing wrong with the Captain’s pod, and people wake up at different speeds.) Burt assured him that the reactor was stable and had fared well with the journey, followed by Gunther enthusiastically reporting that the advance team was ready to head down to the planet's surface to scout ahead.

For once, there was no emergency. It was almost too good to be true. There was really no need to wake the Captain prematurely. If they needed a few more minutes after all they'd been through, that was fine.

And yet, Mark couldn't help the growing pit of dread in his stomach.

The details were a little fuzzy, but with every passing minute his memories of the wormhole and the ensuing chaos became clearer, more solid — the freshest of which being a pained exchange with his Captain, his dearest friend, in the warp core room, as the weight of the multiverse fell heavy on his shoulders with realisation and the subsequent guilt and remorse, the walls of reality literally beginning to crumble around them.

Remembering it all was like waking from a dream in reverse; images of each universe and lifetime stung in the tight grip of his psyche instead of slipping from recollection. His mind began to race, panicking slightly as he remembered times his Captain hadn't woken up at all.

Mark took a small sip of coffee. He felt a headache coming on.

As if on cue, he felt a gentle bump against his leg. He cast his gaze towards it and was happy to see Chica softly nudging him, panting cheerfully with her big eyes aglow.

‘Hey, bub.’

He smiled and bent to pet her soft fur with his free hand, grateful for a comforting distraction from his wandering thoughts.

‘Yeah, any moment now,’ he muttered under his breath as he went to retrieve the Captain’s coffee mug while Chica trotted away.

‘Initialising Wakey-Wakey Protocol.’

Mark’s head shot up at the sound of the AI voice announcing their emergence from cryo-sleep. Relief flooded him as he saw them slowly step out of their pod, tentatively poking a crew member as if wanting to make sure this was real. He understood the feeling.

‘Mornin’, Captain!’ Mark beamed as he strode over to greet them. He eyed the Captain up and down with concern. They looked about as exhausted and on edge as he’d felt upon waking up this time.

‘Ooh, you look like you’ve been through hell. Yeah, cryo-sleep sucks, but coffee can help.’ He offered them their mug which they took automatically. With a friendly clunk of his own cup against theirs, he made his way around the main console to talk with various crew members while the crew leads took turns speaking to the Captain.

‘Computer, let’s get those blast shields open.’

The head engineer let out an awed sigh at the view. ‘The trip was smooth. Just a few rocks, couple cosmic rays, nothing the computer couldn’t handle on its own,’ he reassured, hoping to ease their obvious trepidation. To his relief, they seemed to relax immensely at the sight of the planet before them. He watched as they reached out a gloved hand and pressed gently against the glass (memories of said glass shattering flashed across his mind, which he quickly dismissed).

A whole array of emotions crossed his Captain’s face as they admired the planet that would soon house the new colony. He could almost swear that he saw the tell-tale glisten of tears forming in their eyes. Eyes that were now wise and weary beyond their years. Eyes that had seen countless people die and the very fabric of time and space glitch and collapse and attempt to put itself together again. Eyes that could pierce right through his and pull him apart at the seams with a single look.

‘She is a beauty, isn’t she, Captain? The long range scans did not do her justice. Perfect in almost every way. We’ll still have to do top to bottom scans once we���re down on the surface but we’re moving equipment as fast we can. The crew is eager to get off the ship and onto solid ground. I think you can understand the sentiment.’

They watched as the shuttles disembarked from the main ship and made their way towards the planet. The Captain looked pleased to see progress already being made.

Mark hesitated for a moment. There was so much he wanted to say. To ask. Lifetimes worth of emotions lay pent up inside of him, itching at the walls of his throat and the tip of his tongue. But the guilt still bore down on him, and the fear of truly acknowledging and dwelling on all that had transpired between the two far outweighed the desire to talk and have it all laid out in the open where it couldn’t gnaw at his insides. No doubt his Captain would probably want to discuss it all eventually. Maybe they hated him right now and were just trying to hide it. Hell, he’d deserve it if they did. But he couldn’t have that conversation here and now. Not with the whole crew present and the colony to build. Not with so many people looking to both of them for direction and guidance. Maybe that was an excuse.

Instead: ‘And, uh, thank you…’ he uttered simply, voice low and earnest, as he felt their gaze turn towards him before finally bringing himself to meet their eyes, if only briefly.

‘...for, uh, not giving up on me. Just… thank you.’

The Captain gave him a sincere smile and he returned it with a nod. He wasn't sure he remembered the last time he saw them smile like that.

They brought the coffee mug up to their lips. It was one he’d reserved especially for them, bearing a clear message in bold text: ‘#1 Captain’.

As they finally took a sip, Mark hoped they understood that he meant it.

[valeriehalla]

This month I have been engaging in a project titled "Valerie's Back-To-School Babyfication," the story of which follows at length.

On November third, as the clock ticked nearer to midnight and I had still not managed to get any of the huge amount of work I planned to do done, frustration mounting to untold levels, I told myself this: If I can work for literally 30 minutes on literally anything at all, I will count it as a "win," and then I will play SNES games and eat clearance Halloween candy and go to bed.

How did I get to this level of dysfunction? Well, uhhhh. My work life is chaos. I mean this in the mathematical sense: It's a system that compounds upon itself unpredictably given small changes to its initial conditions. One day a long time ago (I assume), in the middle of what was probably a perfectly functional workweek, some distraction kept me from getting as much work done as I wanted. And I said, "No problem -- I'll make up for it tomorrow!"

When inevitably I didn't make up for it the next day, because the stress of the looming jumbo-sized workload just made me procrastinate rather than work harder or faster, I repeated myself: I'll simply do an absurd amount of work next time. And I really, truly believed in my ability to do this!!! I considered it a fully normal and realistic aspiration. You have no idea how long I can lead myself on like this. You're sitting there thinking, "eventually you're going to be telling yourself you're gonna do 25 hours of work in a day, and that's just silly." And you mean it as a joke, like as a logical demonstration of why this pattern of thinking is flawed. And I'm telling you:

For about a year, I carried on waking up every day fully intending to do months' worth of unfinished work before bed that same day.

Like, okay. I didn't think this literally. But I believed it in spirit and in practice. At some point I had been playing catch-up on a pile of work for so long that I didn't even remember when it had started accumulating. All I knew is that if I wanted to prove myself, to get things back to normal, to remember what it's like to be a functional human being, I had to catch up. I needed this. I needed a win.

The stress of this monumental self-imposed workload eventually meant that more days than not I went to bed having not done any work at all. Something would go just a little wrong with my day and I would know that This Isn't The One. This isn't The Day I Get My Life Back Together. I woke up a little too late, I spent a little too long reading, whatever. The size of the task demanded absolute perfection. The endeavor had to get off on the right foot.

I'm like the most cartoonish morning person you've ever met. No matter what happened the previous day, I always woke up feeling nothing but excitement about the endless possibilities of the day ahead of me. This quirk gave my emotional highs and lows the characteristic shape of a sawtooth wave: Sky-high morale in the morning, steadily decreasing as the day wears on and the perfect possibilities turn into mediocre realities, until my body hits the bed in utter dejection.

Occasionally I would luck into a string of days that really did go just right, and I would sputter back into a work machine. But as time went on and the pile of unfinished dreams grew, this got rarer and rarer. Eventually, with the help of a few tragic life events, my dysfunctional freefall hit terminal velocity. I didn't have the ability to have a functional workday anymore. Even still, I carried on picking up my pieces, believing full-heartedly that tomorrow would be the day.

This utterly depressing cycle would have surely continued unto my death and perhaps even my subsequent reincarnations had it not been for the events of November 3rd, when, in a fit of frankly maniacal frustration, I told myself that I would call it a win if I could just do thirty minutes of work on literally anything.

You wanna know what happened?

I mean, I kind of doodled awkwardly for 30 minutes until the kitchen timer went off and then set my tablet aside and ate candy. The doodle wasn't even good, like, it completely sucked because by this point I hadn't actually drawn anything in about a month?

Here's the part that's really stupid. I decided to commit to the bit. I decided that this really did count as a win. It was the first win I'd given myself in God knows how long -- a year?? Long enough that the idea of what constituted a "win" had become nebulous and fleeting, like chasing my own shadow. So it felt, honestly, darkly humorous to call this thirty minutes of trashy scribbling a victory worthy of spending the rest of the night relaxing.

I did, though. And I thought to myself: "Maybe tomorrow I can try for 45 minutes."

This is what I've been calling my "Back-To-School Babyfication Project." (Read the title in the same voice as "Human Instrumentality Project," please.) The rules are simple: Every day, try doing fifteen more minutes of work than the previous day, unless the previous day sucked, in which case try the same amount. I briefly considered adding half an hour a day, because I wanted to get up to what I once considered "full speed" as soon as possible, but I stuck with 15 minutes. I mean, am I not the baby who is going back to school?

I'm all the way up to 2 hours and 45 minutes now, which, if you're the math-doing type, you'll notice means I actually failed this challenge a few times in the past couple weeks, so great is my dysfunction. But I'm winning more often than I'm not. And when the timer beeps, I put work away and don't think about it.

It owns!!!

I'm using kind of self-deprecating language here, but I need you to understand that I feel incredibly empowered. I decided for once to not believe in myself, and the results have been life-changing. It's actually great to be The Baby Who's Going Back To School!!!

It is my nature that I sometimes have to learn simple lessons over and over again. Here's a simple lesson: If you want to climb a mountain, you should probably, like -- I don't know, try climbing a rock first? Maybe some stairs? Even if you've climbed a mountain before -- even if you've built your whole identity as a human being around climbing mountains in a unique and personally meaningful way -- you probably can't just, like, decide to do it if you've spent the last forever not doing it.

One more: The stuff that you do that's not climbing mountains or rocks or whatever is non-optional. You don't stroll up to a mountain, try getting up there, fail, and then just, like, hang out indefinitely until the spirit of rock climbing inhabits your body once again. Like a hungry Sim who couldn't find a path to the microwave so now they're just standing in the kitchen crying and peeing themselves as their green gem turns red. You're gonna die up on that mountain, little baby!! You need to sip some juice and go back to school!!

See what I mean? Really, really obvious lessons. But I found ways to not learn them. I don't know why, or how. (Let's be honest: It's probably ADHD.) I'm just like this, and I won't get anywhere by pretending I'm not.

For those in the back, this is what I'm learning at baby school, without the metaphor:

Productivity is all about habits. You will always tend to do whatever it is you already tend to do. If you want to develop better habits, take your time and start small.

You have to clearly delineate work from the rest of your life. This is hard when you're self-employed and you work from home, and harder still if you're some kind of artist, because that means that your work is also probably the thing you (at least theoretically) like to do more than anything in the world. But you must: You have to be able to imagine a world in the far future -- of like 9 PM -- in which you are no longer working because you stopped working because it was time to stop working, because that means you're allowed to do things other than work!! Even Minecraft doesn't count as procrastination when you're officially Off Work!!

Be strict about your limits. Never work unpaid overtime, even for yourself. Under no circumstances ever fall into the mindset of playing "make-up" for yesterday's unfinished business. Definitely never do it twice!!

Sometimes winning is just losing with grace and clarity of purpose.

Anyway I have to go draw for almost three whole hours, so I'll see you later!!! ILU bye!!!