#i get that we're all taking in and exploring this new piece of information. but please consider: i am going to explode

[pairdelune]

v1 having fun commiting violence and being scared of dying don't have to be mutually exclusive concepts

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

What! Are your top five reveals in One Piece! Which ones made you go “holy shit” or “hell yeah” the most!

i'm taking reveal here to mean 'points at which previously-hidden information is revealed to the audience,' not just where we're told something new. so:

THE FREEST MAN ON THE SEA: maybe not as dramatic or seismic as some other things on this list, but to me luffy telling rayleigh that to him being the pirate king just means being the freest in the world is the single most important thing we ever learn about luffy's character, and it defines the themes of the whole series. it recontextualizes everything about luffy and the way he interacts with the world and the way he pursues his goal because now we finally know what that goal actually is, and what it means to him. and for the whole first half of the story we don't know this! it's easy to forget because we're, what, six hundred chapters past it now, but we get all the way to sabaody without really knowing what drives luffy, and then we get it and it slides into place perfectly.

WORLD SANK: a recent one, but so satisfying and well-placed. the sunken world reveal is the best kind of big lore reveal, to me, because it's something that makes so much sense it was completely possible to predict it years ago (and people did), and now that it has been confirmed, it's opened up a massive world of implications and questions that are incredibly fun to think about. i'm really excited to see where the story goes with it.

NIKA: i'm sort of rolling everything we learn about gear 5/nika/joyboy in the 1040 chapters of wano together here; i've written at length before on this blog about why i like the nika reveal so much, so i'll just say now that it takes one piece's most fundamental and powerful themes and symbolism (liberation and joy and the sun) which have been built up across the story and reveals to you that those things are a real literal force in the narrative strong enough to turn a draconic tyrant into a garden snake. and having established what he has now about nika, the way oda has continued to explore the implications of that figure existing in the world has been absolutely fabulous to read.

RAIZOU IS SAFE: a smaller and more arc-specific one compared to some of the others on this list, but i just really like the way this reveal is done. the interval between the dressrosa team's arrival on zou and the reveal that raizou was there the whole time isn't even particularly long, but it's the execution which makes it; the devastation of the city, the solemnity of the whole moment, inuarashi and nekomamushi bowing their heads, luffy and the strawhats' reactions. i like the minks a lot, and this is the moment that defines them as a group, as well as establishing the themes of loyalty and sacrifice that will go on to become very prominent in wano.

ROGER WAS DYING: i've talked before about how i really like the handling of roger as a figure and how our knowledge of him evolves and becomes more personal and human over the course of the story. the turning point in that evolution is the introduction of rayleigh; his reveal that roger was not caught, that he turned himself in because he was dying, and that they found the truth of the world there at the end of the grand line. it shifts the whole presentation of the story; we've been told about roger from the very start of the very first chapter, and it's here that we learn the information we thought we had about him has been woefully incomplete. there's a bigger mystery here, one greater than just 'what treasure did roger leave.' and i really like we get this context about roger in the very same scene we learn what it means to luffy to be the pirate king.

[yuki2sksksk]

Here's a fun scenario!!!

Basically, maybe in the beginning of season 1 or around Part 2, Nomura accidentally finds a relic that may have belonged to a demon, their demon art being able to control time. She keeps it in the museum for storage to be taken to the Janus Order for study.

Only for A. In events of "Waka Chaka" the relic is broken or activated and the demon uses it to escape to present Arcadia. Or B. After "A Battle of Two Bridges" a museum work mistakes the relic as a display piece and puts it up, leading to the same scenario.

But not just the demon is taken to Arcadia but also the Demon Slayers the had been chasing it, being Tanjiro, Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke.

The group is not only stuck in the modern era, but we're the land and language is so new and unfamiliar. Even more confusing is the boy in shining armor seemingly protecting some stone "demons".

(finally managed to answer an ask idk what's going on with my blog)

(update: I can answer this one only for now huhhhh anyway)

That's a fun scenario to think of! I also weighted the option of time traveling but didn't think to put a demonic relic 🤔 I once thought of having Yushiro being involved in the Trollhunters stuff starting off with his drawn portrait of Tamayo being hung in the museum (because it's one of his oldest painting and he used very old and antique painting set)

Your idea will be fun to explore! I'd imagine this being set at the option B because wohoo the CHAOS there would be so so messy.

Like in Jim's POV, he suddenly sees four unknown people stumble out of nowhere in eastern clothing and brandishing swords he recognizes as katanas (and the girl doesn't seem human???) and in Tanjirou's POV, he and his friends get transported into another world in the middle of a fight and what what are those demons they don't smell like demons wait WAIT INOSUKE I DON'T THINK THEY'RE DEMONS DON'T KILL THEM YET --

But everyone probably focuses more on the fact that they're people to protect, so Tanjirou and his gang try assisting Jim and the others despite the absolute confusion and language barrier.

The way Bular and the changelings and the goblins suddenly get overpower only by the appearance of four teenagers is bewildering like these kids aren't like Jim and Toby -- they CAN and WILL take lives. This makes Jim and Toby flabbergasted too as they watch the slayers actually don't hesitate in chopping limbs and aiming for the necks.

Surprise surprise Draal manages to have a quick but informative conversation with the slayers in the middle of the fight like he suddenly speaks fluently in Japanese (Nomura let out some Japanese curses as well) and it's a huge help to the others so they can have better coordination in fighting against Bular.

Once the bridge is down and the changelings are gone off sights, Jim and Toby have to stand as a shield of sorts between their troll friends and the slayers because suddenly the katanas are all pointed towards them.

" They don't smell like a demon. " Tanjirou says. " But they are vulnerable to the sunlight as well. "

" Drop your swords! They're not dangerous! " Jim can't help but to snarl. He's exhausted. Draal just has his right arm turned into stone and the others are not left unscathed from the battle.

These new incomers are powerful -- probably the strongest humans Jim has ever seen. They are warriors, he can tell. They have experiences. He's forever thankful that these slayers are on the good side at least.

" Do you eat humans? " The question is directed to the blue troll.

" No. " Draal answers in Japanese, his breath is heavy and tired.

The slayers exchange glances. Zenitsu can tell that there's nothing but truth in their claims. Nezuko doesn't seem alarmed as well. Inosuke decides to let his comrades lead the situation next. Then, they drop down their arms to their sides.

" So, " Toby looks around at the mess, " what now? "

This can probably be a very long one shot or some chapters. I imagine the slayers have to stay in the trollmarket (with Nezuko and all) because staying together is a better option. They'd try to explain what they work as and get accustomed to the modern world.

Inosuke absolutely loves the training ground, cackling as he dodges the swinging blades and leaping over moving tiles. Everyone gets another whiplash at seeing his beautiful face. Zenitsu jumps at every second a troll walks past him but he feels safer around Aaarrrgghh (cause he thought the gentle giant could shield him from danger).

Nezuko spends most of her time sleeping. She surprises some trolls with her strength. They compare her to gnomes, and this sparks out some angry rambling from Tanjirou who keeps claiming that she's a beau.

Tanjirou offers to help Jim in terms of stamina and muscle management with total concentration breathing. Their swordsmanship is different so there's that. Blinky thinks it'd be good to have Jim battling against an opponent with different style fighting and Tanjirou is yet to be defeated. He encouraged Jim and is very humble so he gets along with everyone.

This is all I can think of for now, but this is a joy and interesting idea to think of.

[impatient-traveler]

The Aera problem

Thought I'd write up a post about this, mainly because I want to put this information out there but I don't want it to be in a reply where it'd come off like I'm descending on any specific person.

To clarify ahead of time: You're perfectly free to accept whatever parts of official XV-related content you want! You can enjoy them and be excited about them and I'm happy for you. I just also think there's a lot of context that some people might be missing on this that they might want to know.

So, Terada. For those who don't know, Terada took over game director duties as Tabata was forced to focus on the next project (Agni/Forspoken, at the time it was still closer to Agni). That was about when EpP was being developed, though that was mid transition and not fully him. Which is why you start to notice contradictions around that point.

Terada is a fucking sexist, there's no putting it mildly. He's done such delightful things as: arrive at a fan gathering, notice it was mostly women, and open his panel with "wow that's a lot of females". Another time he talked about how it's guys that play video games, don't you know? Women don't do that. And said that there's no point in the game having more costume options for the characters because "nobody wants to dress up men".

He's also a liar, loves to take credit for other people's accomplishments, and everything he makes is just really badly written, but those are kind of tangential to what I'm trying to say here.

The main issue is that then, after no previous mention of Ardyn ever having had a love interest or family, we suddenly are told "actually, ALL of his motivation was about a dead woman". We had been already given plenty of reasons for the way he was: He'd been in the process of healing the Scourge, he was accused and "ostracized and daemonized" in his own words. We know he was imprisoned for some time, (again: I am treating pre-Terada stuff as canon here, so it wasn't necessarily all the time up to when he entered the Niflheim political scene) and we know he's unable to die! That's plenty!! That's a great reason to be upset!!!

And suddenly Aera gets introduced and none of what I just said is given *any* more attention. In fact it's actively stated (by him being perfectly docile at the start of EpA) that none of that mattered! He's fine! Totally not broken by betrayal and imprisonment!! Instead we're given a new character that has no reason to be there and no agency at all. She's just an accessory for Ardyn to be sad about.

Time to bring up another anectode about Terada. They did a livestream when the EpA anime dropped. They did a Q&A there. It wasn't live questions. These had been gathered, vetted, and pre-approved. He had EVERY OPPORTUNITY to prepare for it. He gets asked something along the lines (paraphrasing but I remember it very well): "I'm very interested in Aera! What can you tell us about her? What is she like?" What followed was a solid minute of the guy going "uhhh... ummm... well... uuuhhhhh.... she likes.... uhhh.... tea.... and uhhh... a-archaeology?" You know, like she has a shot in the anime where she's drinking tea, and another where her and Ardyn are in some old ruins for 5 seconds.

Alright, long enough post already. One last thing is many of you might point out that there's little difference betweeen Aera and Luna. And that's a valid point, but I have to disagree. Luna has many problems as a character, I won't deny that. She's criminally underutilized. But she has infinitely more agency than Aera, she's at least mentioned/acknowledged infinitely more, and the game actually properly explores and develops Noctis's OTHER reasons for doing what he's doing, so she's not solely a convenient piece of motivation for him.

[aziraphales-library]

Heyy, do you have any recommendations of fanfics named after Hozier's (our lord and savior) songs? Especially more recent ones since both season 2 and his new album were released relatively close.

Thank you very much, your work is amazing!!!

There are... so many. We're previously recommended some fics inspired by Hozier here. Here are some series two Hozier fics...

no grave can hold my body down (i'll crawl home to you) by AK_Qhyrstol (T)

Keep driving, keep driving… He’d been holding his breath for hours, trying not to let the lump in his throat and the burn in his eyes win. His lips were pursed and tight, desperately holding back the sobs screaming in his lungs. Where could he even go? There wasn’t anywhere for him to go. -- Or: After Aziraphale leaves Earth for Heaven, Crowley gets in the Bentley and drives, and drives, and drives...

The Choiceless Hope in Grief (That Drove Him Underground) by aac0577 (NR)

Post-Breakup, Muriel and Crowley talk. Aziraphale and Crowley do too.

It's More the Being Unknown by sam_rvb (G)

The last few months have been a bit of a blur for Crowley, who has been trying to figure out what to do with himself since Aziraphale left him for Heaven. He's taken up residence in the bookshop alongside Muriel, who finds a new room to explore and asks Crowley if it's okay for them to read the newly discovered books within.

from eden by tlsonetwothree (G)

In the wake of Aziraphale’s destruction of Crowley’s heart, there is a certain solace he finds in the Earth they once shared. The demon takes a road trip to a cottage in the South Downs, where he tries to pick up the pieces of his heart and soul, both of which left when his world did.

The fear in its eyes, Gone out in an instant. Your tear caught the light, The Earth from a distance. by bl0rb0 (T)

Aziraphale has never seen Crowley cry. He’s been there in the rare moments the man-shaped being has done so, but Crowley always turns away or flees somewhere unknown. Aziraphale doesn't know that a piece of the Starmaker resides in Crowley, in the form of his tears. Crowley’s tears are filled with Holy Water and every time he cries, his tears make themselves known on his cheeks as a form of scars and burns. When Aziraphale leaves to heaven, Crowley hides in his beloved Bently to cry his sorrows away. He hoped it would be a short cry, one that goes just as quickly as it came and then he can return to his sarcastic and bitter self. But years go by and Crowley’s cheeks and hands have scarred over and he refuses to come out of hiding until a lighthearted and once naive angel pulls him out.

Don't Fall Away From Me by dream_animal (NR)

“Ok…” Crowley ran a hand through his hair. “Ok, ok, so - we need a plan. And to do that, we need information, yeah?” “Right,” nodded Muriel, enthusiastically. “Right,” said Crowley. “I suspect it will be a bit more difficult for me to just waltz through Heaven this time, so you’re going to need to—” he cut off with a gasp, like he’d been punched in the gut, and inhaled sharply. “What—" Muriel felt it a moment later, unbidden tears spilling from their eyes. A great despair. A wave of agony and anguish. A cosmic imbalance, ripping across the ethereal plane. Angels and demons alike shuddered under the weight of unbearable grief. The universe wept. It was a feeling that had not been felt for millennia. Crowley dropped to his knees. Muriel turned to him, horrified. “It- it’s…” An angel had Fallen. In which Crowley deals with life post-Aziraphale, and Aziraphale deals with the consequences of his decisions. Can they pick up the pieces in time to save the world, again?

Heaven isn't built to house a love like you and I by ItsScottiesStark (T)

They did it. They stopped Armageddon. They survived. This was it, the first time they were actually free to finally figure out what their side entailed. Aziraphale is a being of love. Always has been. And now, all the love he has for Crowley is free to flow from the edge of his fingertips to the demon's, in a gesture that could only mean one thing; I'm with you. I'm here. As much as his hands itch to reach out for the love of his existence, his words seem to fail him, time and time again. He knows Crowley deserves more than gentle hand holding and forehead kisses in the dark. He aches to scream his love from the top of his lungs, for the whole world to hear. And the demon knows it. And he waits. Because he'll wait forever for Aziraphale. Because he knows they are meant to be one. We take a peak into Aziraphale and Crowley's "peaceful, fragile existence" they slowly carve out for themselves after Armage-not. We get to see Aziraphale slowly but surely reach out for the demon time and time again, bringing them closer than ever. Until Jim happens. And it all goes to shit.

- Mod D

[rexcaliburechoes]

a couple of late thoughts about made in abyss // literally no one asked

i regret to inform you that i am a writer. LOL. i'm enjoying having clarity of thought while it lasts/my soul isn't being sucked out of me by existence. i got into a new piece of media! and i'm gonna make it everyone else's problem. these thoughts got long, and contain some spoilers for the manga as a whole, but specifically for the ido front arc, and iruburu village arc. extra footnotes at the end for all of the extra things i talk about that need links.

nanachi gets developed more in the framework set up by bondrewd. this framework is the concept of exchange in which, in the abyss, one will only achieve something through sacrifice. bondrewd + prushka and nanachi + mitty achieved the blessing/curse by the latter two sacrificing their love to the former two. this gets developed and explored through the iruburu value system wherein every creature inside iruburu has a value, and can exchange it for other things they desire. it focuses that lens of exchange, and explores it in context of how faputa/irumyuui/vueko embody how love and hate, desire and sacrifice, are related to each other.

if the components of exchange are greed and altruism, then irumyuui is altruism inverted and vueko is greed inverted, rather than being subverted (1).

though an inversion of altruism is greed and vice versa, i would argue that irumyuui would be altruism inverted because her wish to save herself/ganja/vueko is altrusitic. however, it manifests in her children, and you could argue that her desire to bear children, to fulfill her destiny, is greedy. additionally, iruymyuui creates faputa to free herself from the curse her altruism brought upon herself, which is inherently greedy.

compare this to vueko, who was forcibly fed stew made of irumyuui's children. she kept consuming and consuming, because she had no choice. you could argue that this is greedy (if we're being generous with the definition of "greedy"; she really didn't have much of a choice in the matter, but i digress). in the end, when irumyuui transforms into the village, she refuses to take part in consuming more of that irumyuui offered her, trying instead of kill herself before she could be turned into a narahate through the village membrane. she remains human, she remains altruistic in spite of her greed in partaking in consuming irumyuui's children.

though gluttony is a good descriptor, i'd argue for greed instead because gluttony is characterised by excess of eating or drinking, and greed is characterised by the desire to have more than what one needs. wazukyan exemplifies this in a way, as he used two more cradles of desire to a) keep irumyuui living as the village of iruburu in spite of her own wishes, and b) convince the other members of the ganja corps to exchange themselves for safety inside of irumyuui.

vueko is being greedy, in a sense, for not making a decision to stop consuming irumyuui's children, for continuing to live instead of killing herself to exchange her life for irumyuui's wretched not-so life, for being (self-proclaimed) too weak willed to do anything at all. thus, she ends up inverting greed by remaining human and not being consumed by faputa, and as faputa says as she (vueko) dies, "she belongs to mother, and not me".

using this framework as the core idea of this story, i'm really interested in what lyza exchanged for what is getting set up to be enlightenment. i can pull some threads of buddhism and other dharmic text if i tried, probably (2). that, and the classic hero's journey (3). so, ideally, when our main characters return to the surface, we'll finally deal with the 2000 year cycles that everyone is talking about, that no one on the surface is aware of, or is barely aware of.

finally, we also have the vague suggestion of a five man band (4) with our main characters:

riko - the leader reg - the lancer OR the brains nanachi - the brains OR the lancer faputa - the brawn prushka - the heart

reg is set up to be the lancer because he doesn't know what he wants. he doesn't know anything about himself, really. this is complemented by riko knowing EXACTLY what she wants (to find the bottom of the abyss, to find her mother, to eat more food in the abyss, etc). reg also historically has had issues with being indecisive, and it's a strong flaw that has gotten multiple characters into trouble. whether he's actually going to interact with it critically, however, is between him and the writer.

reg is like a simple homemade vanilla ice cream using basic ingredients, while riko is a vanilla gelato. similar sounding at first blush, but vastly different in how their flavours diverge, and with their own individual complexities.

i would like to cast him in the role of the brains because nanachi as the lancer opens up some interesting possibilities for growth compared to riko. nanachi is cynical; they've lost their one true treasure to the abyss by bondrewd's hands. they've grown disenchanted by adventuring, or at least, they were when riko and reg first stumbled upon them. they say as bondrewd dies, "if i hadn't fallen for your flattery back then…", which implies that they might've followed in riko's footsteps as a white whistle delver with mitty at their side, had they not went with bondrewd. on the contrary, had they not gone, then they wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place. it's a really interesting tension between their motivations.

this contrasts with riko, who embodies the spirit of adventure; who, in spite of it all, refuses to let the horrors get to her and instead learns, grows, and experiences all the abyss has to offer, for better or for worse. if riko is a simple (and paradoxically complex) vanilla gelato, nanachi is a creme brulee- sweet with a little bitterness, hard, and decadent in spite of it all.

i could make an argument that riko has lost her mother to the abyss, but the way the story is progressing (and they way i'd like it to be written…) riko could break the cycle of exchange that the abyss has cursed by getting to the bottom of it. only time will tell if the story decides to actually follow through with its motifs it has intentionally and unintentionally developed.

there are a couple more things i'd like to dig into in terms of exchange as it's portrayed in the manga, but i need to read it again and actually take notes on it LOL so far i'm… not impressed with the hail hex stuff but we'll see how i feel after the arc concludes and how it lines up holistically with the story. it'll get there eventually, i hope.

footnotes and additional resources

(1) - tvtropes notes on inversion vs subversion. to put it simply, an inversion takes the idea of a trope and puts it on its head, while a subversion sets up the expectation of a trope and instead invoking a different trope. think of it like drawing a triangle and flipping it upside down compared to starting to draw a triangle, but it's a hexagon instead. additional reading on the concept of playing with tropes here.

(2) - kikuo's songs dance of the frogs and voices of svaahaa both deal with dharmic and buddhist themes of life, death, rebirth, and enlightenment, and salvation and prayer through suffering and sacrifice. i'm afraid these songs rewired my brain, in addition to reading land of the lustrous (link to tvtropes) in terns of picking out this kind of imagery, so i am gonna shill for these things every time i get. i've also written at length about how this appears in alfred from fire emblem engage's concepts and writing.

(3) - reading on the classical hero's journey. sideways explains this and provides examples in his videos on how to train your dragon and into the spiderverse.

(4) - reading on the five man band trope. reg and nanachi are the only ones i'm not sure about, and classically, if you're not sure about the roles, then You Don't Have A Five Man Band. red from overlysarcasticproductions (and the creator of the aurora comic) has a good breakdown series on what encapsulates a five man band.

[amelikos]

Going over the first two titles for February (HZ083 and HZ084).

No summaries or staff lists are available as of now, just the titles. I went over the titles for January here.

Starting with HZ083 (link here).

Amethio-centric episode! Noting that this is ep 83, which happens 50 eps after ep 33 (Amethio's solo battle with Rayquaza and Terapagos turning into Terastal form for the first time). Moreover, this is the second title which has Amethio's name in it (the first one being HZ065, which was "Liko and Amethio").

So.. the title talks about a certain "truth" and Amethio's determination.

What truth is the title referring to? Is it related to the Rakurium? This is what Amethio has been looking into lately and he even tried to face his father in HZ078 to get more information about it, but Crave didn't want to talk to him about it.

If we're going by the assumption that the truth is related to the Rakurium, then is Amethio going to try to face his father once more? I personally doubt it, since he probably knows he'll get the same answer again. Will he try to talk to Gibeon? Not sure about it, since Gibeon told him he doesn't want to see him anymore... And Gibeon seems to often be asleep too. We've seen him asleep at the end of HZ075 and there were already implications surrounding it in HZ034 (Hamber talking about Gibeon being awake, etc).

I feel like the title could possibly hint at a confrontation between Amethio and Spinel? The opening has a scene with the two of them specifically and they've been tailing each other for a while now. Spinel is keeping track of Amethio and knows he won't give up so easily. I'm not sure if Amethio is trying to follow Spinel in some capacity in this chapter but we know he's done so in the past. Will Amethio try to get answers out of Spinel? Will we get to know more about Spinel?

Also thinking about how we got truths surrounding Rakua and the original Explorers being revealed in ep 74/75, and now we might get more answers about the Rakurium or Gibeon/anything else..? Liko facing truths earlier in the chapter, and this time Amethio will face truths as well. Something about the AmeLiko of it all and how their journeys mirror each other's and are constantly intertwined makes me emo, tbh. Especially since I feel like this emphasizes that they could benefit from a team up. Liko is gathering pieces of truths here and there, but she doesn't have the full story yet. The story of Rakua was told from Rystal's perspective, but Rystal had no way of knowing certain things. She doesn't know what happened to Gibeon after Rakua, for example. Liko was about to ask Rystal about Gibeon before she disappeared, which established that "Gibeon" was one of the next mysteries to be solved (how is he still alive after all this time? etc).

Amethio is on his way to learn new things, which Liko and the others possibly do not know yet. They could share that information with each other. Liko knowing Gibeon's name thanks to Amethio telling her about his grandfather proved to be helpful, since she could tell the RVT who Gibeon was. But who knows what the future has in store for Liko and Amethio.

I am also curious about Amethio's "determination". He started off the chapter quite lost and crushed after Gibeon rejected him, and he was trying to find out if there was still something he could do. The title seems to indicate that Amethio's determination will be renewed. What path will he take? Maybe whatever truth he is going to learn will help him make up his mind about what he should do? Is he going to find out the truth about the Rakurium? And if he does, will he consider it as something dangerous for his grandfather? Will he find a balance there? I am really looking forward to it, and how Amethio will reconcile his feelings for his family with the truth. Especially thinking about how Gibeon wanted to hear his resolve in HZ054, and now it seems like Amethio might find his own resolve. (As a note, the words used were different. Gibeon and Amethio talked about 覚悟 in HZ054, and the title for ep 83 uses the word 決意. I was curious to know if it was the same word, but it's not.)

Also: will this be an episode completely focused on Amethio? This happens after the Rayquaza ep. Will we pull away from Liko and the RVT for an entire episode to focus strictly on Amethio? Or maybe it'll be a situation similar to HZ054 which had Liko and friends meeting with Ann before going back to Orange Academy, while Friede was investigating the Rakurium at Exceed? Both plots happened in parallel, so maybe this could be the case for this episode.

--

And the title for HZ084 (link here).

This is another one of those titles which sound really poetic to me. Up there with the titles for HZ075 and HZ082 (ep 75 is "The future we've been entrusted, the shine of this world" and ep 82 is "At the end of the shining rainbow" which is a reference to a line from the second opening).

This title seems to refer to Rayquaza and Zygarde (Heaven/Sky and Earth, "Ten to Chi", Rayquaza and Zygarde being respectively associated with these elements and described as the "Tenkuu Pokemon" and "Chitsujo Pokemon", etc..). And the horizon being the place where the earth and sky appear to meet, too. Poetic cinema, etc.

Also, every ep ending with "4" has been quite significant for a while. 24: Diana telling Liko and the others about how she found the pendant, Pagogo reacting to Amethio. 34: Liko and Diana paralleling Amethio and Hamber, Gibeon etc. 44: Rayquaza showing up. 54: Learning about the "eternal blessing", seeing Gibeon's face for the first time and learning about his connection to Amethio, meeting Amethio's father for the first time. 64: Liko and Amethio meeting in the mountain, both of them seeing the effects of the Rakurium for the first time and getting stuck in a cave together, etc. 74: Learning that Lucius founded the Explorers and that there were three of them, etc. So what will ep 84 bring?

Very curious about this episode. The opening showed a confrontation between Gibeon's Zygarde and the RVT. So maybe this is when said confrontation will start? Will we see Gibeon? Will I get to hear his hot voice? Please tell me I will.

Given that this ep is implied to be about Rayquaza and Zygarde, I feel like this means Rayquaza will join the group in HZ082? Rayquaza was clearly waiting for Liko and the others to gather the other Heroes before joining them. Will he join the group by returning to his Ancient Pokeball that Roy has, or will he tag along without going back to his Pokeball? I am curious about this, especially for what it'll mean to Roy? Terasaki Yuka (Roy's VA) said at the beginning of the chapter that there will be an episode that brings Roy closer to his goal of getting Rayquaza (link here). (Btw, she also talked about possibly getting answers about the eternal blessing, which is why I feel like we'll learn about it in Amethio's episode.)

Anyway, back to Roy and Rayquaza. While Liko got Rystal's blessing and officially caught Pagogo in this chapter, I think her situation is different (and both situations are meant to be different). Liko's goal is to grant Pagogo's wish of going to Rakua, she just happened to bond with Pagogo and they became true partners. The endgoal here wasn't "getting Terapagos", it just happened during Liko's journey of granting Pagogo's wish (which still isn't granted at the time I am writing these lines). Roy's goal is specifically "getting Rayquaza" and being acknowledged by him. So I feel like they could be getting a moment which could deepen their connection? Rayquaza still hasn't exactly "seen" Roy, imo. So I think that they won't become "partners" for now. I also think Lucius is still alive in Rakua. He didn't appear at the Crystal Pool when Liko and the others prayed, and I think Gibeon is meant to get his closure with Lucius before passing on. I think Rayquaza is still loyal to Lucius's memory too, so Rayquaza should also get his closure (similarly to Pagogo) before becoming Roy's partner. There is a lot of emphasis on respecting Pokemon's feelings, after all. Basically, since Roy's endgoal is getting Rayquaza, I don't think it'll happen in this chapter since the anime isn't over yet, but I think they are meant to connect a bit more to sow the seeds of their future partnership?

--

I think I covered what I wanted to write about for now. Also, since these two episodes are clearly meant to be closely related to the overarching plot, I wonder who will be writing them?

We already know the writers for this month's episodes, and Kureha Matsuzawa will be writing HZ082. Ep 84 having a poetic title also makes me think he should be the one writing it, but who knows. The Amethio episode should also written by one of the core writers. It's either Dai Sato, Kureha Matsuzawa or Naruki Nagakawa for these two episodes, I think. Either way, we should be in for very interesting writing three weeks in a row.

I am also curious what Horizons is planning after this chapter since the Six Heroes are probably going to be finally gathered together in this arc.

[turtles-and-turnips-blog]

Turtles & Turnips June 2025 Newsletter: Voice Chat Events, a New VC Event, Updates, and More!

Hello, hello! It is Admin Star, everyone! I'm pleased to bring you what will be the first of our monthly blog posts detailing current happenings within the Turtles & Turnips community, including server events, updates, things currently in development, and more! Let's get right down to it, shall we?

Scheduling for June VC Events

Friday, June 6th, 9 PM EST: Turtle Pile 1

Saturday, June 14th, 7 PM EST: Watch Party (This month's selection: The King, The Shredder Strikes Back duology, and Tales of Leo)

Saturday, June 21st, 8 PM EST: Turtle Pile 2

Sunday, June 29th, 7 PM EST: Turtle Pile 3

A New Server Event: Hosted By Artists, For Artists!

A new voice chat event is currently in development! While the name is still pending, the general idea is pretty simple: During the event, the artists of Turtles & Turnips will gather together in the VC so that they can do things like show off illustration WIPS, stream pieces as they're drawing, give each other feedback, and provide tips tricks, and general art advice to one another! We're thinking about holding this event at least twice a month with the start time being either 6:00 or 7:00 PM EST; specific weekday is up in the air, although it'd most likely happen sometime between Monday and Thursday to avoid conflicting with other events such as the Watch Parties and Turtle Piles. Hopefully, we'll have the schedule finalized and can begin hosting it by this July.

Speaking of which...

1st Anniversary Project!

Turtles & Turnips's 1st Anniversary is coming up this summer on July 25th. In celebration, we are currently putting together a fun little project that will see its release on the server's birthday! Sign-ups are open until June 7th, so if you join Turtles & Turnips before this coming Saturday, you will still have a chance to join in on the fun. Otherwise, look forward to a proper announcement in the near-future!

Exploring the 2003 Series

Not too long after we got the server blog up and running, we got a friendly anon asking about the possibly of starting a dedicated archive for TMNT 2003. As they pointed out, there aren't really any places online dedicated to the 2003 series outside Turtlepedia, and a lot of the available media for it (ex: production art) tends to be hidden away on niche blogs or has been uploaded in very low quality. From my perspective, a project like that is incredibly tempting, but also extremely daunting since it's not just a matter of gathering as much associated media for the series as possible; it's also about organizing everything so that it's easy to find as well as verifying information to make sure it's accurate. At least as it stands, I don't see it becoming a major project anytime soon just because of the amount of organization required, as well as community participation to ensure we obtain everything we possibly can.

That said, one of our plans for this blog is to take the time to explore the history of the 2003 series, from the beginnings of its production in early 2001 all the way up through to its cancellation in 2009, along with the legacy left behind by the stories it told, the characters it introduced, and the people who worked on it. If we at least begin with that, it could very well end up expanding into something bigger beyond that. Either way, we'll see what happens!

That's all for now! Take care, everyone!

[alchemistc]

i love your bucktommy writing so much, your voices for them are just perfect! that post make-up sex ficlet actually made me realise thats sort of lacking in the fandom. i have a soft spot for argument and make up fics, i think its a great way to explore a couple's dynamic. so if you ever get inspired to write more of that I'd love to read it!

Thank you so much!

I think there are a couple things at play here when it comes to the lack of argument/make up fics.

The fandom is new, and still exploring a lot of relationship dynamics - for as much as we all love Tommy there is a LOT of him that is incredibly unexplored.

The other piece is that bucktommy is so different than most of the mlm ships I've seen in the past.

That's not to say they aren't out there, but at least the ones I have been active in have had a few running themes.

There are a lot of enemies to lovers tropes, a lot of "God Hates Fags" type storylines that put a lot of tension on a relationship, a lot of fighting the gay tropes, a lot of closeted or perceived as closeted mlm 'ships within fandom spaces. There are Struggles in a lot of those 'ships already. Within the canon that we have, so far, bucktommy has been delightfully free of a lot of that. Even the approach to "I'm An Ally" from Buck was handled a lot differently than I think we're used to seeing.

And I think for a lot of people that's been a breath of fresh air, and the canon has informed some of the ways creators are approaching telling stories about them, picking at the insides of Buck and Tommy's brains and treating them as gently as the canon narrative has so far.

Of course, we all also want Tommy to be injured in a fiery helicopter crash, but that's not the same as giving a relationship internal conflict.

I think internal conflict, though, is where you really get to see a 'ship take form, and I think as the fandom ages we'll see more of that. As people start to dig and try to establish the inner workings of a relationship, we'll start to see more of that internal conflict, the arguments, the snippy moments, potential break up scenarios, potential reunions. And make up sex.

I've got two separate fics in my WIP's that are exploring that particular piece of their dynamic, and I'm sure we'll see more start to crop up as people continue creating!

(Not gonna lie though, I am happily enjoying the wildy creative amount of fluff and Outside Forces causing External Conflict fics, I am rolling around in them, frolicking, eating them UP. And that's refreshing, tbh, when there has often been such a focus on making MLM 'ships Suffer to prove their love)

[1moreff-creator]

DROS CH3 Part 7 First Impressions

Wait this is the end of the trial? Damn, this one was fast! Well, at least we don't have to dread the execution any longer, we just have to confront it now! :,D

CWs

"Ellis: …I guess there is one more person who didn’t have an alibi for the early afternoon. We have no clue what Aidan was up to." Right, that's what we were doing :p

"Davis: But… it just… doesn’t make any sense!" [Puzzling Pieces] Davis is, uh, not doing very well at all! Understandable and cool.

"Mark: We can’t guarantee that he wouldn’t kill someone, even if it wasn’t out of self interest." Are we thinking he wanted to stop the motive? But this isn't his MO. When he wanted to end the other motive, he offered himself up as the victim and wanted someone to choose to help him with that, instead of taking action himself. He doesn't care about anything* and all that.

*Slightly dubious as of recent events involving Davis but you get what I mean xD

"Harper: It seems that, when Davis and Ellis met with him, he must not have been thinking about conveying information…

Taylor: “...Because I was stabbed. I was a little preoccupied."" Okay that's actually a fun use of the Impressionist thing lmao.

"_____ _____ _____ with _____ to _____ an _____." Fun fact about this one, I think you can immediately tell the last word is either "interest" or (more likely) "alibi" because those are the only options that actually work. I'm saying it now but this kind of thing is actually how I usually get started on these things lol. Grammar pog!

Let's go with "Aidan only met with Kennedy to have an alibi." It's a decent argument, actually, as Aidan really had no reason to actually listen to Kennedy in that moment. I agree with Davis that the motive doesn't really line up, but let's explore the possibility anyways.

[Answer: Aidan only met with Kennedy to have an alibi.] And this one didn't take 30 minutes! Let's go!

"Ellis: Like, if your number one enemy invites you to a secluded location at a specific time, it’s either a rivals-to-lovers makeout sesh or a super obvious death trap, right?" Ellis knows the fanfic tropes! xp

"Davis: It still just… doesn’t make sense. He wouldn’t. There’s no point to it.

Mark: Would it help to discuss it more…?

Davis: …I guess so." [Nonstop Debate] Well, let's see how right Davis and I are about the motive thing!

"Mark: Maybe he thought he could protect us somehow." Let's shoot this with Third Motive and see how it goes!

[Answer: Third Motive → “protect us somehow”] I never miss! If you ignore all the times I've missed, anyways.

"Davis: That’s not fair, though. He wouldn’t decide to do anything that extreme without consulting everyone else. Even for the loved one’s motive, he offered to work with someone else, but otherwise he waited. I don’t understand why he would have just picked Vivi to die." True! And Vivi doesn't strike me as the type to agree to that, either.

"Taylor: Maybe she volunteered as well…?

Kennedy: Zero chance. Vivi wanted to revive the loved ones who died. Why wouldn’t she wait to see what the new motive was? Why wouldn’t they just plan to resurrect any sacrifices when all was said and done?" Yeah Kennedy, you get your Mad buddy! >:D (Listen these are the last crumbs of Mad Duo I'm getting in main story I have to enjoy them while they last xD)

"Kennedy: Give it up. Mastermind or not, Aidan is the killer here. Traitor or not, you need to stop blindly defending him. You don’t know him, and you don’t know what he’s capable of.

Davis: I said to let me think. Stop trying to convince me I’m wrong.

Kennedy: Fine" Rare moment of Kennedy shutting up? Holy hell :O /affectionate

"Davis: …Okay, I’ve got it. It’s the same reason why we didn’t think Kennedy or I could be the culprit.

Noah: Inherent suspicion…? [...]

Davis: If Aidan was intending on losing a Trial but would risk dying beforehand, do you really think he wouldn’t think to tell Ellis and I that?" Alright, I get the angle. Still no idea where we're going but y'know.

"Paris: Maybe? People’s minds can go to weird places when they’re, like, about to die, right?

Taylor: “I’m not stupid enough to suddenly forget everything I’ve been working towards just because someone stabs me.”

Paris: So true, Tay." Okay these two are pretty fun when they're not worrying me terribly xD

"Jeff: So… now what?" [Puzzling Pieces] Seems I'm not the only one with no idea what direction the trial's about to take lmao. Also I love Puzzling Pieces but how many of them are going to be in this trial???

"_____ _____ be _____ _____ when _____ _____." Bro these are just getting harder and harder what the hell???

Okay I might get this one wrong, because I have no actual idea what the point we're trying to make is, but I'll say "Vivi would be too suspicious when Aidan knocked." It's worded a bit weird, but the point is that Vivi could potentially open the door for Kennedy or Davis, but they'd be a bit more suspicious around Aidan?

[Answer: Vivi would be too suspicious when Aidan knocked.] Never mind I should have never doubted myself. What is in the air this trial? Goddamn! xD

"Kennedy: I see. In that case, Davis must’ve been befriending Vivi so she’d let her guard down. He’s very naturally charming, so I can imagine it worked easily." Damn. I always like when Kennedy hears two options (in this case, "Kennedy or Davis killed Vivi"), and immediately jumps to the one he considers right without even mentioning the other one, it's a fun quirk.

[Third Party Analysis] Alright, let's do this! I'll try not to overshooot the statements' length this time :p

Davis:

Concession: I understand that, given I’ve been on the opposite side of the conflict from Vivi, I might seem the most suspicious.

Defense: I’ve been pushing back against this conflict the whole time, and I tried to stop any violence that arose from it.

Attack: Kennedy, on the other hand, has shown a tendency to solve problems with violence, both before and during the murders today.

Proposal: I think it’s likely that Kennedy hoped killing Aidan would create a diversion, such that we wouldn’t even realize they saw Vivi today.

Kennedy:

Concession: If you find it hard to believe me because I’m willing to kill, then I can’t change your mind on that.

Defense: If I was really trying to deceive you, I wouldn’t have admitted to killing Aidan.

Attack: There’s no one else who would benefit from the lie the Monoquin File presented.

Proposal: He probably planned to get his own alibi later on, but when Aidan presented him with a golden opportunity, he took it.

{Man, Kennedy is... not good at this. I'm starting to get really worried they actually are the killer here. I can't lose both members of the Mad Duo in one chapter, please!}

Inquire: I think this is going to be wrong (I don't think I have a great track record with these Inquire things lol), but I'll shoot Davis' Proposal with Vivi's e-Handbook. He claims Kennedy would have tried to kill Aidan to make people think she never met with Vivi, while before he also argued that the message Kennedy sent Vivi was part of the plan. Either Kennedy wants people to think he met with Vivi because he sent the message, or he didn't want that and that's why he attacked Aidan. I'm not sure how conversation would continue from there, though, which makes me a bit hesitant on this.

[Answers for Distill] Hey, I actually aced this this time! Hell yeah.

[Answer for Inquire: Kennedy’s Account → Davis’ Proposal] Alright, correct reasoning, wrong bullet, I'll take it. I didn't use the account because I figured the point was that Kennedy only said All That as a backup plan when Aidan survived, while the message, which must have been sent when Vivi was already dead due to the lack of response, showed that Kennedy was willing to plant evidence of a connection to Vivi's death even before the plan went wrong, which is more solid evidence that they never planned to pretend they never went into Vivi's room. Does that make sense? I hope so! Either way, this still works.

"Paris: Can we keep going? We’re getting, like, nowhere." I kinda feel like that too lmao.

[Progressive Deduction] Let's see what Ellis can come up with!

1- Why have Davis and Kennedy been acting similarly this Trial? -> d. All of the above {This doesn't wrok with my formatting but just trust okay? xD}

2- Why are we suspecting them again? -> a. Because we didn't have any other options {Oh shit is someone else about to get accused?}

3- What might indicate one of the two being innocent? -> a. Davis stopping us from accusing someone else {I... Are we arguing that Kennedy doesn't really care about who gets voted as long as it's not them, thus making them more suspicious? I might have gotten something wrong here lol}

[Answers: 1 -> d. 2 -> d {All of the above}. 3 -> a.] Did Kennedy and Davis really have more motive than anyone else? I don't remember anyone making that argument, hence why I didn't pick All of the Above for 2 lol. Anyways, this makes some amount of sense! Very worried that we're moving in a Kennedy!Blackened direction ha ha...

"Ellis: …Would a real blackened seriously throw his own ass back in the line of fire for the sake of someone who’s not even here to defend himself?" We are, uh, running out of chapter, and I'm getting more and more worried for Kennedy lol.

[Nonstop Debate] Yay... Help.

"Jeff: Make an excuse for yourself. Go." What is this weak point bro??? We're just highlight words now, what would you even shoot this with in any situation??? xD

"Kennedy: That’s different. There was already going to be a Class Trial, and I would have avoided becoming the blackened." I... the only thing I can think of is shooting this with Regulation #8 (the one about how the blackened is the person who killed the victim whose body is found first). Unless I'm supposed to shoot "I [Kennedy]'d have to have a good reason to kill" with "I would have avoided becoming the blackened", with the idea that killing Vivi was a diversion to protect themselves in case the killing game didn't end with Aidan's death. But having that backup plan is kinda weird, especially for someone as sure of herself as Kennedy, and especially if it meant killing Vivi.

[Answer: Kennedy’s Escape Theory → “the killing game would be over”] Alright this one's on me, I just didn't read the Notes for some reason xD But yeah, reading that note, that says that Kennedy doesn't think killing the mm would end the killing game, compared to what he's saying this trial, it seems we're a little fucked. Goddamnit.

"Noah: But, if that’s how you feel about it… why did you say that we could’ve gone home? 

Kennedy: Because I know I’m innocent, and it’s important to get the Trial verdict right. 

Paris: So, you’re admitting to manipulation, or…? Getting caught in a lie doesn’t exactly make us believe you, hon~

Kennedy: It doesn’t matter. Davis is still the killer, or it’s Aidan. One of the two." This, aside from proving my point that there's too many orange people alive at this point, is a really funny reaction to getting caught on a lie. No panicking, no trying to explain, just straight up going "Yes, I lied, let's continue." Never change, Kennedy xD

"Mark: So, Kennedy…? Got any other points to make…?

Kennedy: Of course I do! You’re all making a mistake!" [Freestyle Feud] Fuck.

"I’m the one who’s been guiding the Trial the whole way through!" -> To make us reach conclusions that benefit you!

"I killed Aidan; that’s the only reason you’re accusing me!" -> Your lack of alibi also isn't helping here! {Maybe? Idk where we're going}

"There’s no reason why I would kill my closest friend." -> That was, except they were against you in the end. {Sort of, anyways}

"Aidan’s one thing, but killing Vivi? The logic’s too grim." -> Unless that's exactly what you want us to think! {I have no idea what I'm supposed to say, so my idea is that Kennedy is lying about having everyone's best interests in heart, just wants to escape the killing game, and that he killed Vivi specifically because it'd make it seem like he couldn't be the killer due to sentimentality? Idfk}

"Kennedy: Aidan’s one thing, but killing Vivi? The logic’s too grim.

Ellis: It’s not when you consider that Vivi could’ve healed him!" Is this really the argument? I guess it's sound enough, but it's not the strongest thing I've ever seen. Also just seems like way too extreme of a measure for this, but what do I know.

"Kennedy: If that was the case, there’d be no reason to kill Vivi! I’d just… make sure Aidan actually died in the first place.

Harper: In the first place…?

Kennedy: …Fine. I��ll admit it. I lied during investigation." Where are we going??? What the fuck are we even doing???

"Kennedy: It’s still true that I took a knife from the kitchen in my room. I told Aidan to meet me at the Villa where Robert died. Once he was there, I pulled the knife on him.

Davis: And?

Kennedy: …And I lost the fight." ... What. Of all the fucking things they could have been lying about, I didn't expect this to be one of them. Unless she's just lying about lying, but y'know.

"Kennedy: …The fight was intense. Furniture got knocked over, and there was a lot of scrambling. But, at the end of the fight, he was inside with the knife, and I was outside with the door locked. He and I both knew that I tried to kill him, and with no way in and no weapon, I wasn’t able to do anything about it." Are you saying that-

"Kennedy: …Aidan stabbed himself." I'm losing my fucking mind. This has to be a lie, right? I get the argument, but it still probably means Aidan's the killer, which is insane. Or, wait. Maybe Aidan didn't know about Vivi's death, stabbed himself to... prove Kennedy tried to kill him? And then survive with Vivi's help? Alright, let me see what the characters are gonna say on this because I don't think I'm being very coherent right now.

"Kennedy: To frame me, probably. He must’ve already told Davis to come over by then. Even though I started the fight, he might’ve been worried that I’d deny it, and people would think he tried to kill me instead. If he’s the one who comes out looking like the victim, people would be more inclined to believe him." Okay, that's... better. But Kennedy messaged Aidan, which should've been enough evidence for that, right?

"Kennedy: That’s why he was still alive when you got there; I didn’t actually land the blow. If I was trying to kill him, why wouldn’t I have gone for the throat? It’s because I never had a chance. He must’ve known you’d save him. That’s why he was willing to take the chance." This does explain why Aidan told Davis to come a few minutes after he was supposed to meet with Kennedy, instead of arriving together for protection. He wanted to get attacked? I'm losing it.

"Taylor: “It’s not like it matters. Since when have I cared about my own life anyways…?”

Davis: I… I don’t believe it. He wouldn’t. There’s no way… 

Taylor: “Believe what you want, Love. It doesn’t change anything.”" Alright now we're weaponizing the impression, got it. This isn't helping, Taylor!

"Mark: If that’s true, then something’s bothering me." [Puzzling Pieces] Alright Mark, help me. Also there's another Puzzling Pieces??? Goodness! Seems I'm not the only one who really enjoys these lmao.

"Mark: Wouldn’t it make the most sense if he stabbed himself because it would give him more of an alibi?" Right, because Aidan would have no way of knowing Kennedy found Vivi's body, or that she sent that message.

"_____ _____ _____ because they could _____ _____ _____." Oh dear gods they're getting even harder.

Uh... Maybe we're supposed to go back? What the cast is saying is that Kennedy had no reason to kill Vivi if he intended to outright kill Aidan, but what they're ignoring is that Vivi claimed she would try to revive the dead, not just heal the injured. And Kennedy would believe them. I will probably be wrong, but maybe "Kennedy killed Vivi because they could bring back Aidan"?

[Answer: Kennedy killed Vivi because they could bring Aidan back.] Alright so my iffy grammar aside (grammar unpog :(), I was pretty much right. I hate this, why are we still going for Kennedy man? T_T

"Kennedy: …Do any of you really believe that? It’s just… madness. That’s all it is. There’s no way to bring someone back. It’s meaningless to believe stuff like that." I don't believe you Kennedy, fuck!

"Paris: And you still killed her anyway. Cold. Wouldn’t she be the key to saving everyone who died, then?

Kennedy: …

Paris: You must’ve wanted to get out of here bad. So bad that you didn’t even care about that “friendship” you made. Typical.

Kennedy: I… I didn’t. That’s not true…

Taylor: “Kennedy… did you really…?”

Kennedy: …!

Taylor: “...How could you…?”

Kennedy: I had to!" GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! I hate it here! (/positive) Why!?

"Kennedy: …I’m sorry. I’m sorry…" I wanna cry bro. I hope you explain what's going on Kennedy what is this T_T

"Paris: Nice job, Tay!

Taylor: Yeah, I’m… glad it worked…" At least these two are having fun. And hey, I did ask for an orange person to die! Monkey's paw and all that. My life is a fucking sitcom plot.

"Davis: We… can’t vote. Not yet. We have to do something else first. 

Harper: What do we still have to do?

Davis: Anything. Please. The Trial can’t end yet…" What? I'm so confused. Wouldn't Davis want to return as soon as possible to tend to Aidan's wounds?

[Evidence Select] What do you mean Evidence Select? What the fuck am I supposed to say about this??? I think I accidentally saw that the answer is MQ File #3 (which I don't think I'd have guessed), but what? Are we gonna talk about how the lie doesn't really help Kennedy, as it doesn't give them much of an alibi? Is that what we want???

[Answer: Regulation #3] "Once a murder takes place, a Class Trial will shortly follow. Participation is mandatory for all remaining players." Okay I actually only saw "#3" so that's why I thought it was the MQ File, but this makes even less sense! What are we even supposed to do with this one?! How did accirax even guess this?

"Ellis: Wait, are you… worried that Aidan hasn’t participated in a Class Trial, or something? He’d be excluded from that rule ‘cause of his injuries… right…?

Monoquin: Rules are rules, Mx. Ortiz. Anyone who does not participate would suffer a punishment." Ah. Okay. That's. A pretty gigantic problem, actually. Uh. What the fuck do we do about this, now?

"Davis: …Monoquin. Can I ask… is he still alive?

Monoquin: That information is not mine to disclose" Evil. I mean, I guess a killing game mascot is meant to be evil, but still. Damn.

Also there's like 13 pages left! What the hell can still happen anymore?!

"Mark: …Ellis, were you planning to summarize the case again? That’s something we can do to pass the time, at least." [Closing Argument] Well, at least we have a reason to do this lol.

1- State of Vivi's Room. Kennedy enters the room and attacks Vivi, messing up the furniture.

2- Vivi's Scalpel. Kennedy takes the scalpel and kills Vivi after knocking them out.

3- Vivi's e-Handbook. Kennedy sends a message to Vivi, giving credence to his later claims about going to her room and finding her body without expecting it.

4- Aidan's e-Handbook. A few minutes later, Kennedy sends a message to Aidan to meet in the Villa. Aidan also sends a message to Davis to meet in the same place, a few minutes after the moment the confrontation with Kennedy would happen.

5- State of Villa. Kennedy and Aidan fight, knocking around furniture.

6- Bloody Knife. After fending off Kennedy, Aidan stabs himself.

7- Davis' Account. Davis and Ellis find Aidan and take him to the Infirmary.

8- Body Discovery Announcement. Looking for Vivi, a few people find their corpse, and trigger the BDA.

9- MQ File #3. Monoquin gives out the File.

10- Kennedy's Account. Kennedy gives their fake account. You could argue Davis' Account should actually come after Kennedy's by that logic, but since Davis' is the truth and Kennedy's is a lie, I'm positioning them on different metrics :p

[Checking Answers] I actually got all of them right in relation to each other except Kennedy's Account, which actually goes fourth. Given that one more or less spans the entire time frame and all the events relevant to the case, the position of that one was always gonna be a toss up, so I'll take it!

"Ellis: I’m still not entirely sure why Aidan agreed to show up in the first place, but he did– maybe out of a desire to save us from the timed motive that was supposed to begin tomorrow. Hopefully… we’ll get to hear why he did it when he comes to participate in the Trial." Well, hopeful thinking, right?

"Ellis: Why… Why did Aidan [stab himself]?" You know a trial went crazy when even the Closing Argument doesn't have all the answers :p

"Ellis: That included the killer, who was remarkably unscathed despite surviving two struggles… Kennedy Rey, the Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist." I hate my life.

"Aidan: Yeah… Sounds about right to me." Pfft- Alright, just come in like that why don't you? xD Well, at least he seems to still be alive, there is good in the world!

"Davis: Aidan! You’re back…!

Aidan: Yeah? That was the plan the whole time." You cannot "all according to plan" your way out of this one, fuckass! You had no way of knowing Vivi was dead! Shit could have gone extremely wrong my guy!

"Davis: …Aidan, you… said that you always planned for this. Does that mean–

Aidan: That I stabbed myself? Yeah, what about it?" Bruh.

[Vote] Can I vote for Paris or Jeff or someone else, just in case? No? Alright :,D

"Kennedy: …

Ellis: …Why…?" Yes. Please explain to the class because I need some kind of closure on your relationship with Vivi my pal.

"Vanessa: Wait, but…! Even if that kinda sorta makes sense, why would you stab yourself…? 

Aidan: Makes it more believable. Let’s say there’s a fight and Kennedy runs off somewhere. They say I pulled a knife on them. Who do you believe? Her or me?

Noah: Probably you, because you told the truth." Come on, Noah, you know there's a couple of people who wouldn't have believed Aidan over Kennedy. You possibly included!

"Noah: …Hey, Harper…?

Harper: Hm? What is it?

Noah: I’m… really sorry. For everything that happened. Before the Trial… and during.

Harper: Don’t worry about it, Noah. I don’t blame you at all.

Noah: Right…" Well it's nice you two are making up, I still wanna hear from Kennedy though :v

"Paris: Oh, totally. I heard Kennedy and Vivi talk about doing something after breakfast the night before, so I was totally sure she was the killer. I didn’t want everyone to go off and accuse Harper for nothing~" And you didn't think to bring this up??? I get lying to cover for Harper, but damn that's risky. At least it explains some of the oddities I mentioned back then, like Paris and Taylor seemingly "forgetting" about the alibi until Harper was put under suspicion. Though, props to Harper for going along with it pretty seamlessly, all things considered.

"Mark: What… was your plan? Why did you do all this?

Kennedy: …You’re going to be disappointed in my answer." Am I now? Could you please explain?

"Kennedy: I couldn’t trust Vivi not to try to resurrect [Aidan]. Even if he was the mastermind, Vivi just… didn’t believe in letting anyone who could be saved die. And, given that I’m sure Davis would be asking for it, she’d try. If they succeeded, I’d be screwed.

Davis: …

Kennedy: Plus, it wasn’t bad to kill someone on “my side,” I guess. Made it seem less like it’d be me. It… wasn’t the greatest plan, but I didn’t have a lot of time.

Taylor: You mean… because of the new motive…?

Kennedy: …If I was going to take my chances, it was worth it to do it before something else happened. If random innocents started dying again… Well, Grace was right that I’d have felt responsible." Well... it makes some amount of sense, I guess. In the insane Kennedy kinda way, but still. I still feel like killing Vivi was pretty extreme, especially when you could have just, like, sabotaged the resurrection if nothing else. I am, in fact, disappointed in you Kennedy, but oh well.

"Aidan: You all heard about it, huh?

Aidan looks around the group.

Aidan: Who’d you hear it from?" Oh my fucking god the motive's gonna be fake isn't it.

"Ellis: Uh… Harper…?

Harper: My attention was directed to it by Vanessa.

Vanessa: I heard about it from Taylor.

Taylor: …Paris was the one who… made me aware of it…" Of course. Of course it's her. Somewhere in my heart, I knew that to be true. The one chapter I don't suspect this woman, geez.

"Monoquin: No, that motive announcement was not provided by Hope’s Oasis Resort and Casino." Well, at least I called this!

"Taylor: …I’m… pretty sure Paris put it there. She didn’t tell me, but–

Paris: Wh– Tay?!

Taylor: I don’t know for sure! But, I definitely… wasn’t sure it was the whole truth.

Kennedy: It… wasn’t real?" Orange people infestation aside, it's nice seeing that Taylor is getting more comfortable challenging Paris. And Kennedy's confusion is pretty tragic, damn, the one thing he didn't question.

"Mark: …Ellis is right. You shouldn’t want people to die…

Paris: It’s a game. Don’t we all want to win in the end…?

It comes out as a mumble.

Ellis: …You won’t." God damn, Paris! Pretty ruthless on that one! Maybe I was right to suspect you the entire time. And Ellis is just as confident as ever in that whole "I win these" mentality he's got going on.

"Kennedy: I… I don’t want to die. I can’t be stuck here. I have to know what happened in this killing game. I have to know what happened to the outside world! I can’t die now!" I do still feel bad for her, even though she turned out to be a significantly more horrible person than I expected. Fly high, monarch! I'll be looking forward to whatever theories you cook up from beyond the veil!

"What do you think will be in Kennedy’s execution?" Oh I am scared! What the hell is about to happen???

"When all theories fail, the truth remains.

What do you think will be in Kennedy’s execution?

YOUR ANSWER: An ending." That's kinda sweet, actually.

"Kennedy stands on a flat, earth-patterned platform that rises up into our viewing area." Flat Earth reference? Really? xD

"Someone who made a mistake." This is purple for Mark, right? {Spoilers: It isn't}. I guess it's something, and calling this a "mistake" is at least a decent show of good faith, I guess?

"Robotic chirping fills the area as small, robotic birds fly onto the scene. They land on Kennedy’s arms, pecking at them, puncturing their skin bit by bit. Scythe-like blades shaped like moons drop from the ceiling, without warning." Robot birds and fake moons, we're really referencing every conspiracy we could come up with, huh? Awesome! In a fucked up way obvs.

"Crying." This is for Paris, and damn that's a kinda weird guess :p Also I am just noticing that Taylor seems to have written the "Kennedy" thing at the beginning of the execution. That's really funny of them actually xD Couldn't be wrong about that one, I guess!

"I don’t care." Fair, Jeff, fair.

"Comfort." Thank you Harper, you're a cool person :,)

"A way out." And while I don't think this is gonna work, good try Noah!

"A mean twist." What the hell, Vanessa? I mean, I guess it's a fair answer, but I kinda wonder why she specifically was the one to submit it. Maybe because she's still sad over Grace, and that execution had some kind of mean twist in a way?

"Something hard to watch.

I can’t see anything beyond the text on the back of the screen." Okay, first, really funny way of interpreting that. Second, this is actually Mark's, and it makes a lot of sense given his presumed forgotten trauma. And so, "someone who made a mistake" was Davis? Even more in good faith than I thought, then! Good boy Davis :)

"I don’t know." Well... that's a hell of an answer, but a fitting one for Aidan.

"All of our words contributed to this execution. But mine is the one that eventually heralded the end of Kennedy’s life. That’s fitting, isn’t it…?" It sure is, I guess. Fantastic execution! I will now solve a difficult math question because math is all that makes sense in life anymore.

"Mark: Hey, Ellis. Are you feeling alright…?

I turn to Mark. Then I realize I don’t know what to say.

Ellis: Uh huh.

Mark: …It’s okay." Aww :,)

[Ending Monologue] Ellis is breaking the fuck down, which I guess is a fair reaction lmao. Her complete lack of understanding over everything revolving this trial is very relatable, and it all had to go down the one time she was trying to keep the peace, too. And they seem less confident than ever about the whole "I will win no matter what and nothing matters" thing, which is definitely a marker of character growth, I guess! Fun stuff all around.

-

Well, this emotionally destroyed me! Which should be apparent given my submissions for the Bonus Scenes this time were, in order, "Kennedy & Vivi", "Vivi & Aidan", and "Kennedy & Paris". Because, you know, I'm normal about the Mad Duo. In order to stave off my depression, let's play some prediction game!

While it's unclear what's gonna happen with the second victim guess for CH3 given there ended up being only one victim, that's something we'll have to deal with when av-multifangan releases the special ruling concerning that. For now, though, we can talk about the CH3 killer guesses!

For starters, my guess, which sucked massively! A CH5 victim guess for Kennedy gives me 2 chapter points and 2 role points, which combined with my previos score of 16, officially puts me up to 20! Someone tell past me that we're supposed to minimize the score xD

My guess was slightly better than Jonas', though, as they guessed Kennedy would be a survivor. That's three chapter points and 2 role points, adding in with their previous 12 for a total of 17 points!

Meanwhile, the accirax comeback is finally real! She gets the second perfect guess in this entire series, correctly calling Kennedy as the killer of CH3 from all the way in the Prologue. With this, she maintains her score of 16 from before, and rockets past me and Jonas all the way to second place!

Because yes, although bronze-ocs' guess wasn't as good as accirax, it was still the second best guess for Kennedy! With a CH2 victim guess, they only receive 1 chapter point and 2 role points, which combined with the 11 points they were carrying, puts them up to just 14.

This is the first round where no one's tied, but what a round it was! The accirax comeback hasn't stopped rolling, I earn the dubious honor of being the worst guesser so far, the first of Jonas' survivor guesses dies, and bronze-ocs extends their lead by a massive 1 point (11 vs Jonas' 12 before this, 14 vs accirax's 16 now)! How will things develop from here? Find out next death in DROS!

Hope you all enjoyed, because I sure did! See ya'!

[missfrieden]

Tech as a father Chapter 61

I managed to tear away from my book or from the current book I read since last sunday.

Masterlist

Chapter 61: Back to Callo

Tech carefully scoops up Orion, who stirs in his sleep, adjusting his hold to ensure the infant's comfort. The gentle hum of Gonky's movements continues in the background. Tech moves to the designated feeding area, a small setup he's created with efficiency in mind. He prepares the cut fruits and reaches for the bottle, all while keeping a watchful eye on Orion, who blinks sleepily in the dim light. Dozing off in his tiny high chair, before blinking again.

As he begins the feeding process, Tech talks to Orion in a soft, reassuring tone. "Time for a little snack, Orion. Let's see if you enjoy these cut fruits today." He carefully offers a small piece, observing Orion's reaction. Orion, still groggy from his interrupted nap, seems intrigued by the new textures. He reaches out with tiny hands, exploring the fruit before attempting to bring it to his mouth. Tech smiles at the sight, encouraged by the gradual introduction of solid foods. The feeding session continues with a mix of puree and fruit pieces, with Tech maintaining a calm and patient demeanour. The squad's resident tech expert seamlessly juggles his responsibilities, seamlessly transitioning between father and scientist as he notes Orion's preferences and responses. And he still seems more interested into his milk anyway. As Orion finishes his snack, Tech expertly burps him before settling him back into the makeshift crib on Gonky. The rhythmic movements lull Orion back into a contented slumber, and Tech takes a moment to reflect on the intricacies of caring for an infant within the dynamic of the squad. With a smile he starts doing some of his tasks close by.

Hunter, having received the urgent communication in the middle ot he night, moves quickly to wake the squad. The dim lighting within the Havoc Marauder gradually illuminates their shared living space as the clones stir from their slumber. "Gear up, everyone. We've got a mission," Hunter announces, his tone serious and focused. The urgency in his voice prompts the squad to spring into action, each member retrieving their weapons and equipment with a practiced efficiency.

As the squad gathers in the centre of the ship, Hunter relays the information he received. "Separatists are making another move on Callo. Our expertise is needed. We're going in." Crosshair, already checking his blaster, nods in acknowledgment. "Five clones enough for this?" "For now," Hunter responds, his mind already calculating the potential challenges they might face. "But if it gets hot, we call for backup. Let's move out." “I suspect you mean the clones on site there helping around?” Echo asks as he heads to the cockpit. “Yes, but we have been requested due to our help the last time.”

The Havoc Marauder hums to life as it prepares for take-off. The squad, armed and ready, takes their positions. The ship lifts off, leaving behind the quiet of the night by the base as they head towards another mission, united by their unwavering commitment to the Republic and the challenges that lie ahead. Tech, focused on installing the safety railing, so his son does not tumble out of the bunk during the flight, takes a moment to glance at Orion, who is now becoming more aware of his surroundings. The tiny distances of crawling and increased curious babbling signal the approaching stage of exploration.

"While we're on Callo, you might get to see your mother again," Tech says to Orion, his voice carrying a warmth that transcends the cynical(?) technical precision often associated with his communication. As he secures the last part of the railing, he can't help but wonder how the reunion will unfold. Amanda Pacem, the Jedi stationed on Callo, holds a significant place in both their lives. Tech contemplates the delicate balance of emotions such a meeting always evoke for Orion, who is still too young to comprehend the complexities.

Finishing the installation, Tech leans Orion into his bunk, adjusting the miniature armour that marks him as a unique addition to the squad. The Havoc Marauder is now en route to Callo, a journey that holds the promise of reunions, challenges, and the unfolding chapters of Orion's ever-evolving life.

Tech not able to let his little trooper for just a while picks him up, cradling Orion in his arms, continues the heartfelt conversation. "Your mother misses you, Orion, just like I miss her. And I know you miss her too," he says, his words carrying a sincerity that show the emotions he keeps neatly behind his build walls. As Tech speaks, he gently strokes Orion's cheek, his touch a comforting reassurance. The connection between father, son and mother, bound by both blood and the Force, deepens with each shared moment.

"There will be challenges, little trooper, but we face them together. Your mother is a strong and wise Jedi. We'll navigate this journey, and you'll get to see her again soon, very soon" Tech adds, his gaze fixed on Orion's bright blue eyes, wondering how much the infant truly understands. The Havoc Marauder hurtles through hyperspace, carrying the squad toward Callo and the potential reunion that awaits. Tech, anticipating Orion's discomfort during the descent, expertly places the earplugs in his son's ears. He remains unfazed by the initial cries, knowing they will subside once they reunite with Amanda. As the Havoc Marauder lands, Tech efficiently adjusts the tiny helmet on Orion's head, ensuring his son is protected during their mission.

With precision, Tech retrieves the small toy blaster for Orion, a miniature version mirroring the ones the squad uses. He hands it to Orion, who, despite being an infant, seems to grasp the familiarity of the gesture, calming down as he holds the tiny weapon. The squad, geared up and ready, prepares to disembark on Callo, united in purpose and the unspoken anticipation of a family reunion. The air on Callo carries a sense of familiarity and urgency as the squad, led by Tech with Orion securely in the carrier, steps off the Havoc Marauder. Amanda and Alma's presence adds a layer of reassurance, and Orion's cries have shifted to gentle sniffles, the small blaster in his hands a testament to the familial atmosphere.

As they approach, Amanda's eyes meet Tech's, conveying a silent understanding of the challenges they face. Alma, still under Amanda's care, appears curious, her gaze alternating between the squad and the bustling surroundings of Callo. Tech, mindful of Orion's comfort, adjusts the carrier slightly, ensuring the little one has a clear view of his surroundings. The small helmet on Orion's head seems like a miniature version of the ones worn by the squad, a visual connection that resonates with familial bonds. Something Alma always found to adorable.

Amanda, having sensed Orion's distress earlier, approaches with Alma. The reunion brings forth a mixture of relief and joy. Amanda reaches out to gently stroke Orion's cheek, whispering soothing words that only a mother could provide. Alma, in her childlike innocence, watches with wide eyes, not hearing what her Master is murmuring, is sensing the emotions that swirl around her… Is this just Amanda’s caring nature of a Healer or is there more to it?

Chapter 62

Reblogs are very welcome and I am open for feedback, as english is not my first language, so maybe my sentences may be weird sometimes, or I write a word wrong even with google, or I use a wrong word for an item.

Tag: @spectacular-skywalker @neyswxrld @clonethirstingisreal @sleepycreativewriter @moonwreckd @sskim-milkk @heidnspeak

Honestly I read since last month eight book, soon nine, with around 460 pages each. And five alone, while I worked all day. And since my vacations I am finishing another series! Read 3 1/2 books since last week. I am nearly through my to read pile.

[talon-dragonbeast]

i have been feeling more enderman than dragon this past few days, and thanks to that ive been able to collect more information about my species! i want to list it somewhere because there is A Lot. ill share it under the cut :]

of course, not every enderman will feel like i do, or could even have a completely different experience from mine! (i know there arent many enderman on this site and even less that talk about it as extensively as i do, but just in case)

all of these were gathered from a combination of noemata, phantom limbs, instincts and a bit of meditation! none of these are made up, everything i list is true for my experience /gen

so, endermankin things, in no particular order!

endermen are a solitary species, but not territorial. we just ignore eachother, maybe share information and news between individuals from time to time but its not frequent

this can also vary between regions: in the End there is more sense of community, and in the Overworld seeing another enderman is so rare that encounters are appreciated and even enjoyed

in the warped forest, where im from, we are more individualistic. we care for our young communally, but when the enderman reaches maturity they are on their own. sounds cold, but we actually prefer this! we are very introverted :D

endermen have a language! it's a combination of vocalisations, chirps and what i can only describe as vwoops. we can also produce a terrifying static noise when threatened, if its strong enough it can paralyse a human being with fear. our written language is known by humans as the enchanting table language, which we all learn at some point in our lives.

endermen are nomadic! we do have areas that we like to frequent, but we dont enjoy staying in the same place. we love to wander!

as we all know endermen are able to teleport between places, but we're also able to teleport between dimensions! we like to return to our place of birth from time to time, but we love to explore the different dimensions!

im an enderman from the warped forest, that is a region in the Nether dimension. it's the only Nether biome where enderman can spawn! also its just so pretty: it has cyan nylium and red soil, there are giant cyan fungus and there is shiny shroomlight and glowstone!

endermen are very weird mammals. we are poikilothermic (or cold-blooded, in simple words), which means we dont produce body heat and cant control our temperature via sweating or shivering. our ideal environment is the End, because the temperature there always stays in a comfortable room temperature (which is a bit cold to most humans lol), but we are able to survive in the warped forests because theyre the coldest biome of the Nether. our body temperature is very low because we have very slow metabolisms.

food: obviously, endermen native to the End will only eat the chorus fruit, which is very sweet and has all the nutrients the enderman needs. but we can also eat a variety of things, depending on the dimension one stays.

in the warped forest well usually eat fungus and meat, and in the Overworld well just eat whatever! we arent able to drink water because it burns us, but we get all our hydration from food.

endermen eat their food whole, without chewing. if it fits in our mouth (even if we have to unhinge our jaws like a snake), in it goes, but if it doesn't we tear it in pieces with our mouth or claws. we can survive a few days without eating because digestion takes forever.

our skin isnt covered with fur nor scales, but is strong. we dont have many facial muscles because we dont use them for communication, so we can be pretty expressionless. in addition to this, the skin of the face is harder in some parts like the mouth, where our lips form two fangs that we use to tear food apart.

the only weakness of an enderman is eye contact and water. we don't need to be worried about being hit because well just teleport away, but eye contact will lock us in place so it feels incredibly vulnerable to an enderman (also it hurts like hell and we are not able to think properly while it is maintained so yeah. dont.). water is dangerous to us because while it just makes our skin itch at first, it WILL start to hurt if we keep touching it.

our limbs are very very long, both arms and legs. our figure is slim and kind of bony, with little body fat (low metabolism + no body heat = not a lot of need for storing up energy). we are extremely flexible.

our hands are huge and padded, and we have long fingers that end in some pretty sick claws. this is because we need to be able to pick and hold blocks for our mental wellbeing, so to do that comfortably we evolved to have big hands. and also to defend ourselves i guess (but the Blocks are more important)

more anatomy! endermen have big ears and glowing purple eyes, with oval irises and no pupil. we have pretty good hearing and sight (though we dont see the same colours that humans do), but we are very sensitive to light so thats why we dont appear during the day. we dont move our ears a lot (again, no facial muscles), only enough to locate where the sounds come from.

we have tails, these are actually very movable, almost prehensile! they are long and thin, ending with a tuft of hair. we use them for balance (being digitigrade and bipedal means it would be very difficult to not fall over without it!) and for communication! they can even be used to hold things (though its not often, as it doesnt have a huge grip strength)

humans think we dont have emotions, but thats because they arent looking at our tails. we sway them from side to side to signal we are content, a still tail or coiled around ones leg means the enderman is anxious! we like to hold our tails for comfort, and play with them when we are bored.

uhh thats all i think! i will edit the list from time to time to stay up to date with new discoveries. feel free to make questions in the comments or in asks! i love to talk about enderman biology (as you can probably tell lol) so dont be shy. for those that have stayed until the end of this gigantic post, have a chorus fruit as a reward :]

[katrinawritesthings]

OT5 i guess; wedding crashing; R

jong2min having a nice date on the boardwalk when they see onkey getting married and go crash it but oh no !!! minho fucked one of the grooms last week :3c But good news: apparently the two of them are a pair of real sluts to the point that Jonghyun has a surprisingly large chance of getting into at least one of their pants this very day. Ever since he picked up those two pieces of information nothing has been hotter to him than the idea of fucking someone on their wedding day. And Jinki is very handsome in his peachy orange suit and long brown hair. 

The sun is shining, the sky is clear, the seagulls are shrieking, the waves are rolling, the beach bustles with life, and Minho is practically bursting with contentment. He walks side by side with his babes, Jonghyun next to him in the middle and Taemin on the other side of him, his arm crossed over Taemin’s so they can both claim one of Jonghyun's butt pockets, and the three of them joke and grin at each other as they window shop down the shore. 

"Is that a wedding?” Minho stops when Jonghyun stops when Taemin stops, grinding the three of them to a halt on the sandy boardwalk and pointing with his popsicle to the shoreline. Jonghyun leans forward around Taemin to look so Minho leans backward around both of them to do the same. He has to squint a little bit against the glimmers of the waves on this bright sunny day, but he spots the group of people lounging out in the sand around three people standing up straight. Two of them are wearing suits and holding hands, huge smiles visible even at a distance.

“Oh, that's so romantic," Jonghyun sighs. "Why haven't you two married me on the shoreline?" he pouts.

"Illegal," Taemin says. 

"If we tried you would not stop complaining about the sun," Minho adds. He hasn't stopped complaining about the sun already today. Minho isn't going to deal with that on their wedding day.

Jonghyun sighs long and loud through his nose, then changes track and says, "let's go crash it." 

"I don't think–"

"Hell yeah dude!"

The two of them take off, jogging towards the nearest staircase into the sand and dragging Minho behind them. Minho rolls his eyes as he gets his footing. They enable each other too much. But this is at least better than the time they broke into an abandoned building to “explore cool ghost shit" and got attacked by a family of raccoons, so. He guesses he can't complain too much.

Touching down onto the beach proper, they walk casually along the shoreline until they're behind the wedding. Then, just as casually, they sit down in the back and make themselves comfortable. None of the guests seem to object to their presence; actually, a couple of the people at the back with them look like they had the same idea. The closer they get to the front of the audience the more people are dressed in pastel oranges and foresty greens. 

Up at the very front the two grooms are radiant in their similarly colored suits. One is in a peachy pinkish orange suit with shoulder length light brown hair, smile lines and crow's feet prominent as he listens to his soon to be husband recite his vows. The one speaking is in a light leaf green suit. His short black hair is coiffed up, his dimples are adorable, his pretty lips form his words carefully, and his prominent eyebrow scar is accentuated with make– 

"Holy shit," Minho says. Realization hits him abruptly and he sits up straight, scattering sand all over Taemin’s shoes. “We can't crash this wedding." They can fucking not. He knows that eyebrow scar. He knows those dimples. He is very intimately acquainted with those pretty lips. 

“Wah wah wah, goody two shoes," Taemin mumbles dismissively. “We're already here."

“No, I mean – "

"Lighten up, lawful good," Jonghyun teases. He latches onto Minho’s arm and leans against him. "It's fine. We're not even the only people that have crashed it already."

"Listen you fucking gremlins," Minho hisses. He cannot deal with their bullshit right now. He looks around frantically, trying to find an easy way out, and when he finds none, he tries to hide instead. He shields his face with his hands and glares at his babefriends. "We can't be here because I literally fucked that guy in the green a week ago," he whispers. He knows that's him. He’s certain. That's the guy that he hooked up with last weekend, that guy that fucked him within an inch of his life and left him in the club bathroom with a smirk and a wave.

Taemin bursts into hiccups of laughter that he badly muffles into his hands; Jonghyun’s eyes go wide and he sits up straight, studying the grooms with renewed interest and singing, "ooh, drama" under his breath. Minho groans and lies down in the sand. He should've lied. He should've made something up, invented an excuse to get them far, far away from here. Now they're definitely not leaving.

~

As soon as the ceremony is over and everyone is invited to watch the first dance, Taemin makes a beeline for the bar. It's a nice little setup tucked at the very end of the food tables. One guy in a peach and green aloha shirt and sunglasses is manning it and a sign next to it declares it to be open and free to all beachgoers. Taemin double and triple checks the sign to make sure, then smiles his most charming and adorable smile at the bartender. At his new best friend until Jonghyun and Minho drag him away.

He gets a dainty champagne flute in celebration of the newlyweds; then he asks the bartender to make him something neon blue with a little umbrella in it.

~

So. Bad news. Jonghyun has been wandering the beach, mingling with guests, asking about the newlyweds, and he's learned that Jinki and Kibum are completely open in their sexual relationship so no one was cheating and therefore there's no drama for him to slurp up.

But good news: apparently the two of them are a pair of real sluts to the point that Jonghyun has a surprisingly large chance of getting into at least one of their pants this very day. Ever since he picked up those two pieces of information nothing has been hotter to him than the idea of fucking someone on their wedding day. And Jinki is very handsome in his peachy orange suit and long brown hair. 

Jonghyun has, of course, already told him this. Even before he went snooping around for information, he went to congratulate them and flirt a little bit with both just to test their reactions. Kibum took it in warm, confident stride, not rejecting him but not encouraging him either. Jinki, on the other hand, took a little too long to let go of Jonghyun’s hand and his smile was hooked up a little too much to the side. Jonghyun doesn't like to assume, or brag, but he knows when someone is interested in him.

Jinki is interested in him. Jonghyun saw it an hour ago in the way he looked at him and he hears it now in the way Jinki speaks to him.

“You're quite touchy, aren't you?” he's asking, and his voice is so smooth, a smile playing around his lips, crinkling the corners of his eyes. The tiniest tint of accusation in his tone contrasts with the way he leans into Jonghyun’s touch. He lets Jonghyun fix his bowtie up straight and then smooth his hands down the lapels of his jacket. 

“You don't seem to mind,” Jonghyun smiles. 

Is he laying it on too thick with the cheating-not-cheating thing? He's not sure. It's not his usual mode of flirting and he's kind of just winging this. Maybe he should tone it down a little bit. Throw in something like it's fine if--

“I don't mind a lot of things.” Jinki replies with just the same comfortable, suave, caramel smooth voice as before. Paired with his raised eyebrows it almost makes Jonghyun melt. He has to take a second to catch his breath. How the fuck did Jinki do that? What did he even say? He doesn't mind? Where was Jonghyun going with this again?

Focus. He needs to focus. He has a mission to complete. “That's an admirable quality,” he says, playing with the collar of his shirt. He pulls it down enough to give Jinki the tiniest peek of his chest mole. Guys love the chest mole. He glances down, kicking at the sand a little bit, and then looks up through his eyelashes. Guys love when he looks at them through his eyelashes. “I like a chill relaxed guy,” he says.

“So does my husband,” Jinki says. It's a statement, simple and blunt, but it's also more than that. It's not a rejection, but it is, maybe, a warning? But more than that, Jonghyun thinks it might be a dare. A dare to acknowledge and then keep pushing anyway, see what it gets him. A dare that Jonghyun is definitely going to take.

But not right now. Right now, he fakes getting a text on his phone. “He's lucky to have you then,” he says, opening up a text conversation at random and pretending to read it. Smiling, he adds, “my cousin wants me. I'll come talk to you again later?”

And that's his own dare to Jinki, a choice to either deny or invite him to come back. 

Jinki smiles back all crow’s feet and sunshine. “I’ll look forward to it.” 

~

“Hey, so, I just want to let you know,” Taemin says, leaning on the corner of the bar, “before I start to get tipsy so you know I'm for real. I think you're really handsome.” He smiles at the bartender, holding his sparkly fruity drink in one hand and swirling his fingers playfully on the counter with his other. He's definitely already tipsy from the champagne and half a drink but the bartender doesn't need to know that. Taemin has been making perfectly pleasant and believably sober conversation with him this whole time. 

He's also been flirting with him this whole time. Even before he came out with that bold forward line he'd been having the bartender blushing like soft pink powder, biting down smiles, and coming back to him between serving everyone else on the beach. His name is Kai and he’s lifted his sunglasses up to rest on his hair; Taemin is certain that it was to see him better. His brother used to make fun of him for practicing how to flirt but look at him now. He takes a sip of his drink and watches Kai watch his adam's apple bob up and down. 

He's so in. 

~

Good day. Great day. Wonderful day. Incredible day. Blessed day. Perfect day. Ever since he and Jinki kissed to seal the deal, Kibum has been on cloud nine. His stomach has been full of butterflies and his fingertips have been tingling and his face hurts from how hard he's smiling and he doesn't even care. He hasn't wanted to leave JinkI's side for more than a minute.

He has left, though, to keep up appearances. Sure, he loves Jinki with his whole entire heart and he just dedicated the entire rest of his life to him, but he doesn't want people to think he's desperate. So he's been cruising through the shore, hugging friends and family, stopping to chat, munching snacks and sipping drinks, drifting back to Jinki every now and again to touch his arm, hold his hand, smile against his cheek, and remind himself that today is real. 

Taking time away from him does have its perks--he can spy on Jinki from afar, admire his pretty hair, his handsome profile, his snazzy suit. And whenever Jinki catches him coming back, his smile lights up the world. JinkI's smile still, after all this time, takes Kibum’s breath away. It sets off fireworks in his heart. It resets his brain. It stops him in his tracks.

Which is probably why someone just bumped into him, tried to swerve and duck around him way too late, bumped into a bouquet stand, and sent their painstakingly colorpicked peachy orange gladioluses tumbling into the sand. 

“Oh, jeez. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Sorry. Here.” The guy that bumped into him is already on his knees, gathering up the flowers with big hands. His long black hair bobs in a ponytail and little wisps frame his face when he looks up. “You oka--fuck.” 

His already big eyes turn huge, his mouth pops open, and his cheeks turn a vibrant red. He's pretty cute, actually. And he's swearing up a storm. 

“Fuck, uh, fuck. I mean, fuck. I mean, uh, I mean, shit. Fuck.” The more he scrambles to fix the flowers the more he drops them all over the sand. Poor lamb. Kibum gets it, though. He would be embarrassed too if he ruined a wedding decoration in front of the groom.

“It’s fine,” he says, and he means it. It's not like he was going to keep this one specific bouquet forever. “Here.” He bends over to help him clean up. The longer he looks this poor blushing man over, the more he's sure that he wasn't invited. Kibum doesn't recognize him at all, for one, and he's pretty sure he would at least know all of Jinki's guests by face. He doesn't match the dress code, either, and for another, all of his blushing and stammering carries an unmistakable aura of guilt. 

But, actually, the longer Kibum looks him over, the more he thinks he does actually recognize him. He just can't figure out from where. It's something about the cheeks, flushed a very attractive crimson, something about the bangs falling messily into his eyes, something about the eyes themselves. Big, round, brown, gorgeous. Blinking up at him from such a steep angle, the poor babe on his knees now, just like--

Just like he was at the fucking club. Kibum understands. He's not blushing because Kibum is the groom. He's blushing because Kibum fucked his throat and pumped his ass full of cum a week ago. 

Small world. “Hey,” he says, pointing. “Aren't you--”

“No!” The babe from the club interrupts loudly. He stumbles to his feet, slapping sand off of his knees, red from his forehead all the way down into the collar of his shirt. “I mean,” he says. “I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, I've never seen you before. I mean, I'm not crashing your wedding. I mean!” Every time he says I mean he gets louder, faster, sweatier. “I mean, goodbye.” and he just turns around and speedwalks away, wobbling in the sand and dodging around guests that were actually invited. “Congratulations!” he calls over his shoulder.

Rolling his eyes, shaking his head, Kibum smiles to himself as he continues his search for his husband. 

~

Taemin pulls his thumb from the bottom of his chin up to the corner of his lips. He sucks the cum off of his skin, swallowing it down with the rest, savoring the slide of it down his throat. It tastes like the same sweet, smug victory he feels looking into the depths of KaI's dark, glazed eyes. Zipping Kai back into his pants, he takes a quick glance around the bar. He doesn't think his new buddy has enough of his brain back yet to be a good lookout.

The coast looks clear enough, everyone else mingling and dancing closer to the stage, so Taemin stands up. He smoothly slides his way up Kai's body until they’re face to face. Kai's harsh breaths puff against him and Taemin can hear him swallow hard. Taemin cups his jaw and kisses him nice and slow so he can taste himself. 

“Gonna need something strong to wash that down with,” he hums against Kai's mouth. 

Still dazed, barely looking, Kai feels around his bar and passes Taemin a full bottle of tequila.

Jackpot. 

~

Jinki is three fingers deep into the slut that's been flirting with him all day when his phone jingles in his pocket. “Ope,” he says. That's his special ringtone. His beloved ringtone. His Kibum ringtone. He unwinds his arm from around the babe’s neck and leans back, giving them some room and some air. They probably need it after being squished against the back wall of the stage this whole time. 

“bro whered u go,” is what his husband has texted him. The babe sucks in deep breaths, wiggling their booty back against his hand. Grinning, pumping his fingers not nearly fast enough, Jinki taps the speech to text button and holds his phone up to his mouth. 

“Sorry honey I'm busy fucking some slut backstage,” he says, and hits the send button.

“That's me!” 

“That's you.” Jinki confirms their cheerful exclamation with a smile against the back of their ear. “You're the needy little slut desperate to get used by someone else's husband.”

“Gosh, yeah,” they whisper, they swallow hard, they whimper a little bit when Jinki twists his hand around to rub on their prostate. “Why’s your voice so hot?” 

“Theatre school,” Jinki replies, watching the little typing bubble on his phone.

“oh okay lmao not that i like you or anything but i didnt see you for 10 minutes and i got nervous,” Kibum texts. Jinki bites his lip, butterflies in his stomach. His husband cares about him. “the hot one with the pink hair thats been all over you all day?” Kibum texts next.

“Yeah the hot one with the pink hair that crashed during our vows,” Jinki confirms. Said hot one with the pink hair makes a little oop noise, clenching around his fingers not out of pleasure but out of surprise at getting caught. Jinki pushes them hard back up against the wall, just to punish them, just a little bit. People never expect it out of him but he's always watching. He always knows what's going on. He knew from the start that this pink slut wasn't one of Kibum’s cousin’s plus ones. It's not like he minds, but it's not like he's going to miss the opportunity to rough them up a little bit, either, not when they shudder underneath his chest.

“Tell him,” they whisper. They swallow again, clear their throat, and say louder, “tell him I say congratulations.” They look at Jinki over their shoulder, brown eyes dark and glassy, smile shaky, all genuine and earnest. Jinki smiles back. How kind. 

“They say congratulations,” he sends to Kibum, and then, “just hang on like 5 minutes I'll make them nut all over themself and then I'll be back out smiley face blue heart emoji,” he says into his phone. Speech to text doesn't register and insert the emoticon or the emoji; it just types the words out and Jinki sighs shortly. Whatever. Kibum will get it. 

“How are you going to make me nut on myself when my ween is pointing at the ground.” zit's a pout of a sentence, but a smiling pout, a mischievous one, a dare of a sentence. Jinki knows exactly what this babe wants him to do and exactly how smug they're going to be if Jinki acquiesces. 

Brats have always been his biggest weakness.

He remains silent for as long as it takes Kibum to text him back, “take your time i miss you a normal amount.” Then, smiling, shaking his head, he pulls the babe away from the wall. “I guess you have a point,” he says, and then expertly manhandles them onto their back in the sand in 5 seconds flat. He pushes their legs up so they're almost bent in half, their cock pointing right at their own face, using their pants still halfway on to hold them there. “How's this?” he asks.

They blink up at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, to stunned to react. Just like Jinki likes his sluts to be. 

He makes them nut, cleans them up, and gets back to his husband even faster than he promised.

~

Swimmy in his brain. Grumbly in his tummy. Giggly in his throat. Floaty in his body. But also bumpy in his body. Probably because his body is slung over Jonghyun’s shoulders as they walk back home.

“Fighting evil by moonlight… winning love by daylight… never running from a real fight…! She is the one named Sailor Boob.” Taemin cracks himself up, snorting into laughter, grinning into Jonghyun’s elbow. Sailor Boob. Jonghyun is laughing too, his quiet chuckles warm in Taemin’s ears.

“How did you even get this drunk?” A strong hand, Minho’s hand, cups his jaw and wipes away a line of drool that Taemin didn't know was there. He tries to follow and slobber all over Minho but all he gets for his efforts is a pinch on his cheek. Acceptable. “All they had was champagne and watered down little cocktails. You're not that much of a lightweight.”

His giggles ramp up into full laughter, snorting and hiccuping, before he composes himself into his regular poise and dignity. Jonghyun hikes him up into a better position on his back. “I blowjobbed the bartender’s dick and he gave me big boy juice,” he announces proudly. 

“Fuck yeah dude,” Jonghyun announces into the night sky. “That's my little gremlin.”

That's Taemin. He's the little gremlin. He's the little gremlin and Jonghyun is proud of him.

“Taem, you shouldn't have sex with people just to get things from them,” Minho scolds. “You're such a menace.”

That's also Taemin. Taemin is also a menace and Minho is disappointed in him. Warm in his heart. He couldn't be happier.

~

$75 donation to the newlyweds from: Choi Minho

Hello. Congratulations on your marriage. I saw at your wedding the sign stating that all wedding crashers owed you $25. Attached is the donation covering me and my two boyfriends that came with me. I wish for happiness in your future.

ps I'm at that club every other friday 

$50 donation to the newlyweds from: Jonghyun (the babe you fingered behind the stage) uwu

hiiiiii congratulations again :) your wedding was so pretty and i could feel the radiance of your love from up on the boardwalk!! i hope you feel the same warmth you felt looking at each other today for as long as is comfortable for you both!! may your friendship always remain strong!! also here's my number in case you ever want a slut to play with ;) 525-0408

$420.69 donation to the newlyweds from: fucklordsupreme imdrinkhehehe

hey happy you got marred yur party is rly fun I dont get love stuf but you to look happy really hapy nd I hope you stay thatway and als o if u dont thats okie if u get dirvced then thats just failgay rppresentition (tit) and I think we need more of that but dont get divvvvorced just bc of that only if u want to or for thebdrama ofit but I ho pe u dont do that bc you two look rly happy and I likie that/.....,..also one f you fuckied my bf last week and then I think one of u is fuckieng my other boyfrend rn and I like thatt too bc I like them and they deserv getting LAID so ty for doing thatfor them nd I hope both of u know that bothoff you do sex w other peple bc oherwise thats kind of awkward but tahts aso yuour problem notnmine but nahyway heres some moeny to buy smthng cool for ur happy govt recognititiotn (tit) ceremony and also bc I did somethnig with somenoeno\\\\s omeone but im not going to tell u what is it bc im not a snitch but dont worryr about it but monie shd cover the tab so heres moneynd ur welcome goob night happy married 6v6

[theresa-draws]

i've been playing veilguard non-stop since launch and i'm currently 40h in and still completing companion/side quests, so here are some slightly spoilery thoughts up to mid-game:

Pros:

i am here for the ancient elven and titan/dwarven lore

the combat is quick and actiony, i'm getting the hang of the dodging which is better than blocking or parrying for me - it feels like genshin at times if i had to compare LOL

lighting's great, game loading's fast.... really worth the time loading those shaders every time I start the game

MY INQUISITOR LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THIS GAME and she doesn't sound too OOC.... yet

it felt like Mythal is still watching over The People, and considering Miha had Mythal's vallaslin before Solas removed them, there's a layer of complicated solavellan feelings that i love with the veilguard revelations

i can see some chemistry between my rook and davrin/lucanis...... eyes emoji

solas and rook can taunt each other, although i don't like how much information we're giving him..... he needs us more than we need him and this is the dread wolf from the legends after all he'll use it against us when he has the chance

the bits of inquisition soundtrack + bard songs hurts me in a good way

taash's personal quest about personal identity so far hits the mark for me, whether it's exploring being non-binary or someone between two cultures

lucanis has that old dragon age flavour.................. that's endearingly cringe and oh-no-am-i-into-that

davrin's voice + assan is a potent combination, will rook be a new parent with davrin who knows at this point i'm flirting with three different companions and i'm taking them everywhere with me

i liked being taken by surprised by the game (minrathous vs treviso) but it was an easy choice for me...................... sorry my elf rook is going to be tevinter imperium that did all that shit magical city with advanced technology vs assassin venice city whose waterways are about to be poisoned.....

i like bellara's personal quest so far, dealing with grief and regret and feeling like you're not good enough when people are counting on you to be :(((

you can play rock, paper, scissors with manfred when he's chilling outside at the lighthouse!!!

the lighthouse is slightly customisable like skyhold, thanks solas!

the armours look ugly, the appearance customisation is sorely needed (i'd like an armour mod for the inquisitor, she is wearing her pajamas out again!!!!)

i like seeing the more villainous side of solas as elvhen history remembers him, he's not completely righteous even ruthless to his own people at times but he did what he did (like his chess game with ironbull, he sacrificed so much to get his intended outcome) it's a nice contrast/parallel to rook and the inquisitor

YOU CAN PET CATS AND DOGS IN THE CITIES!!!

Cons:

narrative/dialogue feels hand-holdy (yes bioware, i know the LoreTM stop making them repeat it at me like i'm 12)

pacing is Wack, it's rushing to get to the story beats and then i'm being punished with the minrathous/treviso choice for wanting to recruit davrin ASAP ???

everyone sounds so sedated, is that a choice in the voice directing? or is it like the tone in the lines or something............ the characters have no bite! they're so nice,,,,,,,, even rook can't be too stoic or mean or ruthless! i think that's where the complaints about the marvel-ish lines are coming from (if i hear another character say "whatever it takes", i am going to lose my mind)

Lacklustre and boring soundtrack swinging between hunger games films and assassin's creed revelations, the most recognisable part of it is the inquisition soundtrack

Lords of Fortune suffers in the costume design department the mage outfit is garbage fire, what the hell is going on in the designs for Rivaini outfits

because they killed off Flem-mythal, they brought in Mythal-rrigan...... even though her character arc was about not wanting to become Flemeth (how many pieces of mythal are there???) even the way she talks is less morrigan and more flemeth :((

it's not fun to explore only to realise certain areas are blocked by story quests, or things that require companions you don't have in the beginning of the game

you can't speak with companions whenever you want, i'm feeling like bellara's hanging out with emmrich wayyyyyyyy more often than me and i'm trying to romance her ;A; maybe i should switch to davrin my other first choice

isabela has a very shallow cameo, she's just there to make innuendos and references in a winkwink nudgenudge way

there's a spirit of compassion! it's not cole though................

varric is talking only to me, solas knows varric is talking only to me.... is there a connection there? is he using varric to guilt trip or get inside my head?

getting the party to sit around watching solas' regrets/memories like it's movie night sets a very weird tone for those scenes lol

romance is taking a long time to start/advance did i miss something??? guess i need to clear some personal quests or advance the main story (but i don't want to get punished for advancing the main story)

matt mercer voices the viper, anaris and manfred........ and it's taking me out of the game lol all i hear is matt mercer

i want to exchange rooms with lace harding, i feel like the plants and pond fit isen more than the huge aquarium

i am not clicking with neve and i don't know if it's because i missed her quest/didn't save minrathous/she cares about nothing else other than dock town and my rook is getting blamed for the venatori bullshit

haven't met elgar'nan but his voice is grating.............. it's sneering and nasal and i'm-an-evil-villain-oooh kind of voice, i thought he'd be more charismatic :( at least eldritch wife ghilain'nain is a horrific mad scientist as expected

[sliphole]

Questions/complaints I currently have about SH2 Remake:

Why does Silent Hill look like a complete shithole? It was a tourist town, for goodness' sake, they cared about their image! I mean, I do understand that Bloober Team made the decision to make it look old and dilapidated because it's abandoned, but did they understand why and how it was abandoned in the original? As far as I remember, it's not as if the town was known to be abandoned for years, it was as if all the residents just...vanished, all at once. There was evidence in the original SH games that people had very recently lived normal lives in town. That eerie feeling that something more is wrong is gone with this lack of detail.

the game is way too dark, is anyone else complaining about this? The way James is navigating and interacting with memos and items in near darkness early in the game should mean he'll have no trouble blindly inserting a key into any unlit locks he may or may not find. No need to open any cans of light bulbs this time around.

This is a general grievance with modern video games, but I hate damage effects that take up the boarders of your entire screen. The enemies are a lot more aggressive and also there are a lot more of them in this remake (like everyone has already been saying). It also takes less hits to get you to critical health, and you will take damage. But this is also a survival horror game, right? Naturally you'll want to hoarde your health items until you really need them, so get used to seeing that red vignetting and hearing James moan and groan for most of your playthrough.

Flavor texts and James' little comments about items, messages, etc. are gone! Holy shit, why? It makes me appreciate only now how important those texts are to James' character, as removing them subsequently means James has about zero personality. Beyond that, we're missing so much important context and information, such as James' alcoholism which was only mentioned in one text in the original if you happened to examine some discarded bottles.

The ability to explore different locations in town that were inaccessible before would be cute for long-time fans if the game were a faithful adaptation and it were optional, in my opinion. Instead, it's another aspect of this entire game being padded to Hell in an attempt to lengthen the play time, therefore justifying the $70 price tag that's been attached to a 23-year-old video game. In a better remastering, I would understand adding new clues, items, or puzzles to encourage exploring the new environments they worked on, and I understand this is why they did so. But Team Silent made the decision not to add any of these extra environments in the first place, and I'm sure it's because it's tedious and unnecessary and doesn't serve the plot in any meaningful way.

For Silent Hill in general but SH2 especially, I personally don't like the constantly free-moving camera. So many of these scares and set pieces were designed with the fixed camera angles in the forefront of their collective mind, so taking that away makes them a lot less effective. Watching this playthrough, for example, the hallway scream in the apartments was caught at such an awkward angle that James' big, stupid head clipped through the camera as he looked around all startled. Besides that, everything just feels very flat and a lot less cinematic. And of course they had to add annoying interact icons to everything because it all blends into the environment now.

I really don't like what they've done to Eddie. He's like a cartoon caricature of his original character. He's way more overtly pathetic, and him asking to come with James when they meet is so out of character and is such a bizarre creative change. I know it's been said before, but I don't understand why everyone who works on a remaster/remake of the Silent Hill games can't just leave well enough alone. Why do they always have to make creative changes that are unwanted and unneeded?

[intersex-support]

Hi, I'm in the process of getting tested for both PCOS and NCAH, so I think I likely am intersex but I just wanted to share part of my story if that's alright.

(cw- genital talk, sorry) I was born with an enlarged clitoris and a hypertrophic, partially fused labia. No surgeries were performed but my parents were told that I would qualify for 'cosmetic surgery' if I wanted it when older. My parents were also told my genitals were 'slightly unusual' but also 'common amongst girls.' I was assigned female and raised that way, without any question. I don't think my parents have ever considered I might be intersex. It simply wasn't acknowledged.

I have struggled with gender dysphoria for a long time and only recently put the pieces together (in my case, ambiguous genitalia + slight hyperandrogenism) that I am intersex. I guess I'm just feeling confused. Was I really intersex from birth, or were my doctors right? If I had known earlier, could I have predicted the PCOS/NCAH diagnosis that I'm currently seeking? Does it matter?

I think that discovering so much about myself all at once (my mother only recently admitted to that doctor's commented on my genitals) is a lot to take in. Sorry for this messy rant. I suppose I just want reassurance that it's okay to feel lost, but also found, angry, relieved and a million other things.

Hi anon.

Thank you so much for sharing. Your ask really resonated with me. I have CAH and recently found out that at birth, doctors spent a long time commenting on my genitalia and refused to assign me a sex for several days. For a long time, I had thought that my intersex traits only became noticeable at puberty, and it really was a shock to learn they had been visible at birth! Even though I had always been intersex my whole life, it was overwhelming to realize that information had been purposefully hid from me.

Intersex variations are lifelong and congenital, meaning that every intersex person is born intersex, and will always be intersex throughout our life. If our intersex traits aren't visible at birth or that information is hidden from us, many of us might not find out until later in life, when our intersex traits become noticeable, or when we can investigate our intersex traits as adults. Every intersex person is intersex our whole lives, and all of our experiences are valid.

It is a pretty common intersex experience that when we have intersex traits at birth, a lot of time our parents are not told that we are intersex, and doctors use a lot of euphemisms to talk about our genitalia and surgery options. It sounds like you are intersex, have been intersex since birth, but that doctors were not interested in exploring to make a diagnosis at birth or sharing that information with your family. If you're able to access your medical records, sometimes more specific information can be written down that might give context to comments doctors make, but that isn't always accessible.

I know how overwhelming it can be to learn all these new things about your body and experiences, and I really do want to affirm that it makes so much sense that you would be navigating these complicated feelings of loss and relief at the same time. It can finally feel like things are clicking and that you've finally found something you've been missing your whole life, but also at the same time feel that rage and grief that you weren't able to access that knowledge early to be able to understand yourself. Especially when we have painful, difficult, or confusing experiences with our bodies, our gender, dysphoria, etc, it can feel really complicated to discover that we're intersex and that if things had gone differently, we might have been able to navigate those experiences differently. You deserve to have room to explore and express all these feelings, whether that's through talking with other intersex people or just expressing your emotions in any way. If you want support during this process of self discovery, you are welcome to send an ask off anon to join our discord server, or join support groups like InterConnect and Club Intersex.

Really just want to send all the good energy your way, and know that you are absolutely not alone in what you've shared. This is such a common intersex experience and we really understand the emotional roller coaster it can be to navigate all this. You are allowed to make your own meaning from this and decide what matters to you, and you are in control of any steps you want to take to seek or not seek official diagnosis and testing.

Sending all the love and solidarity 💛💜💛