#i got muse............ i got motivation........... i am READY

[jtargaryen18]

His Inheritance ~ Chapter 35

A/N: The center photo is indicative of the reader's gown only. Not her appearance which isn't defined.

Part 35: Dance with the Devil

Series Masterlist

Words: 5.2k

Pairing: Mobster Steve Rogers x Mobster daughter reader

Warnings: References to mafia, reference to violence and violent acts, intimidation, dark seduction. This is a dark fic. Please read responsibly.

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and darker themes. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown and tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

Summary: For @alexakeyloveloki. Your father is the head of one of the most powerful crime families in Boston but he’s protected you from that life. In your quiet home outside the city, you’ve been cared for and protected. When the desires of a more powerful man with the will to dominate bursts into your life, all your illusions are shattered as he comes to claim what is his.

"You are almost ready," Yelena said with a smile, just after the stylists left. "Now the jewelry."

You paused, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your gown was an exclusive creation by a top designer, a beautiful sleeveless, a-line creation in layers of tulle, sequins, and matte satin. Shades of pale blue and gold transformed you, enhanced by the ornate way your hair was done, the subtelty of your carefully applied makeup. Beneath you wore the most elegant little gold heels that were surprising comfortable despite their minimal style. The stockings were sheer, hugging your upper thighs just below the skimpy ice-blue panties you wore.

The mention of jewelry brought up an unhappy memory and you knew Yelena recalled it too when your gaze met hers. How your husband's ex-mistress smuggled her necklace in for you to wear on another special occasion had never been solved.Had it been Neal? Hansen? A reminder from the not-too-distant past that your enemies could reach you at any time. A reminder to be vigilant. 

"What jewelry?" you asked carefully.

Yelena smiled. "I picked it up myself," she told you, lifting a delicate strand of diamonds set in gold from a black velvet box on the bed. 

When she draped it around your throat, you smiled at the way it completed your look. There were matching earrings, diamond studs each with a teardrop diamond dangling and catching the light. The set was exquisite. 

"Harry Winston," your friend told you, admiring how they looked on you.

"Nice of them to loan these for the ball," you told her, grateful you got to wear them. 

Yelena reached for the golden mask on the bed, holding it to you. "No loan. Steve bought them."

What?

"These must have cost a fortune," you mused. They probably cost more than everything else you owned combined. "Glad you're going with us. I'd hate to get mugged for these."

Yelena grinned. "Security is going to be tight already with so many important people there. The mayor will be there. One of the state senators."

You scoffed. "Why am I going? I'm no one special."

"But you are," Yelena told you. 'The fact that everyone wants you has been a powerful motivator in this game of chess. Your husband is completely devoted to you. Barnes would love to get his hands on you."

"Barnes would ring my neck the first chance he got," you pointed out.

Yelena's expression was difficult to read. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Hansen would for sure kill me," you said, putting your mask in place carefully. The soft mask of golden sequins fit over your eyes. 

Yelena's gaze dropped at the mention of the name and you were ashamed. You needed to work harder not to bring that up to her. And you needed a subject change. Fast.

"Who's going to be here with Nat tonight?" You weren't surprised Nat didn't want to go. She'd been through so much between the horrific end of her abusive marriage and all trauma of years being left to the sadistic nature of Banner. You wanted to make sure she was well looked after while you and Steve were gone.

"Clint is staying here of course," Yelena said quietly. "Dyson will be here too. He's arranged for extra security for the house tonight."

You nodded your approval. "What about Scott?"

"He's coming with us," Yelena explained. 

You smiled. Scott going had little to do with keeping you and Steve safe and everything to do with spending time with Yelena. You were pretty sure Yelena was aware of Scott's infatuation with her. Would she ever return his affections? You didn't know. Considering her tragic history, you weren't sure she could feel the same way towards him or anyone. But in the time you'd known Scott, you learned he was a good man who always had your back and never once questioned your authority. You trusted him with your life. You trusted him with Yelena too.

But would she ever give him - or anyone - a chance after all she'd been through?

You blew out an exhale, preparing yourself for the night ahead. "I guess we should let Steve know I'm ready."

"He knows," a deep voice caught you and Yelena both off guard. 

Your husband strolled into the bedroom and Yelena stepped back to allow him a clear path to you. He looked breathtakingly handsome in the classic black tuxedo he wore, tailored perfectly to fit his tall, broad-shouldered physique. His tawny hair was perfectly styled, diamond cufflinks winking in the light. His tie was shades of gold and blue to match your gown, a subtle touch but one you appreciated.

Steve moved to stand behind you in the mirror of your vanity, bending to fit his handsome face in the reflection with yours. 

"You look so beautiful," he said with something like reverence in his voice. "I can't wait to show you off."

"I'll be downstairs," Yelena said, making her way out to give you some privacy. "We worked very hard on her, boss. Don't mess her up."

Steve smiled at what he took as a playful warning, his large hands smoothing over your bare shoulders. Slowly, you removed the mask, placing it in your lap with your hands. His watchful gaze didn't miss the slight tremble of their movements.

"Everything is going to be fine," he explained. "I've been to this event before. All the rich, politic elite of Boston come out to dance and drink the night away and wallow in excess. It's probably Tony's favorite night of the year."

You could see it. And you were excited to go to the annual masquerade ball, as Steve's wife and not his trophy, and to enjoy a fabulous night on the town. You felt like Cinderella, going to the ball in the gown that truly looked as if magic had created it.

But you couldn't fight back an impending sense of dread. It had been so quiet in the weeks of your recovery and Steve's. Life went on. You were included in all the family's business meetings. The family business had recovered and was branching out, deals with three of the other four families made things even better. 

Not that you agreed with all of it. You weren't crazy about the loan sharking or protection deals the family made. The casinos and restaurants didn't bother you as much. And at least the family wasn't making any money off drugs or trafficking. Some of the stories about the business and how other families operated you heard now were just horrific. You made up your mind early that no matter what, you'd never allow the family to make money off the misfortunes of women and children. Never.

It had been very quiet where the Barnes family was concerned. Too quiet.

"I'll  be the envy of every man there tonight," he murmured, pressing a kiss into your neck. The soft brush of his beard made you shiver. A sensual smiled curved Steve's lips. "Are you ready?"

You nodded. You trusted your husband. You were going to do your best to have a wonderful night, just like he intended.

And still that little kernel of dread lingered.

You felt like you were in an old Hollywood movie to walk down the staircase on your husband's arm with the gown flowing softly with your movements. Honestly, you were grateful for Steve's help in keeping you balanced, relieved when you made it to the bottom of the stairs.

Dyson, Yelena, Scott, Clint and Nat were a small crowd, watching in admiration as you approached. Nat's smile was all you needed to feel like a princess. Her lovely green eyes lit up as her gaze swept over you. 

"You look perfect," she exclaimed, carefully hugging you. "I knew that gown was the one."

Nat had been the one to find it when the two of you went out shopping for it. And you were all too happy to give her the credit. You knew very little about fashion. You would learn. Until you did, it was nice to have the advice of someone who already understood it.

As Nat stepped back, you forced yourself to smile. She still looked so small, so frail. She had yet to gain weight and regain her amazing figure. Your sister-in-law seemed fragile, even with the protection and love of the man she'd always wanted. Even with the full support and love of her brother. It worried you.

Dyson looked worried too, but as you did, he put on a quick smile. "You two had best get going. The line at dropoff takes forever."

"True enough," Steve said, nodding to Yelena and Scott.

You stopped to hug Dyson. "Keep her safe for me," you whispered.

"You know I will," he muttered.

Steve whisked you away to the sleek black limousine waiting in the driveway. Its glossy, jet-black exterior reflected the fading sunlight with a mirror-like finish. The long, streamlined body stretched gracefully, its tinted windows offering privacy and adding to its air of mystery. Scott climbed in behind the wheel and Yelena rode shotgun as Steve got you into the back seat, helping you keep your gown away from the doors. Once you were settled, you studied your husband. Something was missing.

"Did you bring a mask?" you asked him. 

Steve smiled, pulling a small black mass from inside his tuxedo coat. No sequins, just a matte black mask he could wear. But he wasn't interested in the mask as he fidgeted with it. He was too busy staring at you.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

You couldn't help the smile the question brought on. "Yes."

Steve looked pleased. "As time goes on and things settle down, we'll get out more. Do more things like this. You look like a princess tonight."

Tears pricked at the backs of your eyes at his heartfelt words. He meant them. He was taking you out to a society function, dressed you up like you were going to the fucking Oscars. A night out like nothing you'd ever experienced before. You'd been excited since he told you he got the tickets a few weeks ago.

"There are going to be a lot of people there, sweetheart," Steve explained quietly. "I'm sure Belova went over everything with you. But I need you to listen. You are going to be with me at all times. If you're not with me, you'll be with Belova and Lang. No wandering off to talk to people or sightsee. Okay?"

You nodded. Yelena had covered the plans thoroughly while she helped you get ready for the evening. 

"If I have to talk business for a moment, Belova will be with you. You have to go to the ladies' room, Belova will be with you," he continued. "Take it easy on the drinks. You're not used to alcohol and I need you vigilant tonight. We're going to have a wonderful time but..."

"I understand," you told him. "Besides, I don't want to miss any part of tonight because I'm drinking. It's my first masquerade ball. I'd like to enjoy every minute of it."

The smile Steve flashed you had your heart fluttering in your chest.

"There will be dancing, right?" you asked.

"Of course," he told you. 

"You'll dance with me?" Would Steve dance with you to a beautiful ballad or classic song?

Reaching over, he tipped up your chin with his fingers, his touch careful. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you when you smile at me like that. I love you."

"I love you, too." 

His lips were a teasing brush against your own but in seconds it deepened, filled with longing and need. 

The sharp wrap on the dark glass that separated the two of you in the back seat of the limo from Scott and Yelena up front scared you. Then the glass slid down just a couple of inches. 

"Later," Yelena admonished. "I worked too hard on her for this party, boss."

You froze thinking that was going to piss your husband off but he laughed. "Okay, sorry," he called back to her.

It made you happy. Ever since everything happened that day between your family and Barnes', your husband and your best friend got along a lot better. Steve was kinder to her, treated her with the same respect as he would any of the men in his employ. That being the case, Yelena felt comfortable enough to tease him about things like tonight. She worked hard on carefully picking her moments with him to tease. She did even better at being thoughtful when offering criticism or advice. The fact that they were getting along better just made your life easier.

"That's supposed to be privacy glass," he said, still grinning.

"Or she's just that good at her job." Honestly, she was.

"After the ball," Steve said once the privacy glass has slid back up, "I want you out of that dress. Especially if you want to keep it."

The sly warning had you grinning. "I would like to keep it. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen."

"Noted," your husband said. "I'll do my best to contain myself until you get the gown to safety."

The heated looks he cut you the entire way into Boston made you wonder if he'd be able to. You couldn't wait to find out.

Once you reached the venue, you saw there was indeed an endless line of limos in the que leading up to the door. It moved surprisingly fast. Within ten minutes, Scott pulled up to the door and Yelena darted out to open the door for you. Before you could reach for her hand, Steve was there, helping you out of the back of the car with ease and ushering you up the carpeted stairs with Yelena behind you. The decorations and festive lighting dazzled you as you moved along on Steve's arm. The way the soft light reflected off the gown you wore made you feel like you were in a fairytale. 

Steve stopped and greeted more than a few gentlemen on the way into the venue. One man you recognized as a senator and the easy way the two men spoke had you curious. Did the senator know who Steve was? Were they old friends? For a moment, the two of them seemed to forget all going on around them. Just as quickly, the senator's gaze fell on you and the handsome older man smiled. 

"Is this your new bride?" the senator asked.

"She is," Steve replied, introducing you with obvious pride. You meant to shake the man's hand. He kissed the back of yours in an old fashioned gesture. You found him completely charming. 

"Have you been to the masquerade before?" the senator asked.

You shook your head. "This is my first one."

The man smiled. "I hope you enjoy tonight. If I get the chance, I'll introduce you to my wife. It's one of her favorite nights of the year."

"I'd like that," you told him. "It was nice to meet you."

Was it your imagination that Steve watched you with such wonder? Once his conversation with the senator ended, he led you further into the venue where the main ballroom was all prepared, looking like a view from a movie set. 

Clusters of elegant tables arranged in a wide horseshoe shape framed the dance floor, each adorned with lavish centerpieces sparkling beneath the soft glow of the majestic chandelier overhead. The chandelier's light cascaded down like a shimmering waterfall, casting a warm, golden hue over the room, making every surface gleam. A full bar stood ready, offering the finest drinks, while an orchestra played a symphony of enchanting melodies, weaving through the air like a spell. The room was a sea of Boston's political powerhouses, movie stars, and the wealthy elite, all dressed in exquisite gowns and tailored suits, their masks concealing only their identities—not their status. As you paused to take it all in, your husband's familiar warmth pressed against your back, grounding you in the moment as the dazzling scene unfolded before your eyes.

"What do you think?" Steve's whisper at your ear made you shiver.

"I love this," you told him with enthusiasm. "Thank you for bringing me tonight."

"You don't have to thank me." Your husband took your hand, looking like a tawny-haired prince in his tuxedo and black mask, and led you to the dance floor. Your surprise must have shown on your face because he laughed as he swept you into his arms at the edge of the dancing crowd and led you in an easy waltz.

Steve was a wonderful dancer much to your surprise. He led you with an easy grace that you delighted in and found easy to keep up with given your own love of dance. You knew you had to be staring at him but he kept you close, enjoying your surprise.

"When did you learn to dance like this?" you had to ask after he twirled you around gracefully. 

"It's not so hard," he said, his attention solely on you. "Not nearly as hard as your type of dancing."

Ballet was discipline but dancing a perfect waltz wasn't easy either. You were impressed. 

"Is this why you got us all dressed up?" you teased. "So you could show off your dancing skills?"

Steve chuckled. "Is there something wrong with wanting to have a magical night with your wife?"

You were delighted. But you knew it wasn't the only reason Steve brought you here. And now that you were involved in the family business, you weren't offended by the other reason the two of you were there.

Not long before he married you, Steve had acquired a prized property on the outskirts of Boston. He'd been so involved with marrying you and taking over the families he'd neglected it for a time. Now his attention was back on it, plans were being made to develop it. Together, you'd decided on an exclusive resort with fine dining, glitzy nightclubs, and a casino for the wealthy. It was a massive investment and to make it work, certain permits would need to be acquired. The senator and a few key businessmen there tonight could make or break the project that would expand your family's wealth. 

It was a very important night for Steve.

He'd be spending some time talking to these gentlemen tonight which is why Yelena and Scott were there, to keep you safe. You really didn't mind. You felt like Cinderella at the ball in the beautiful gown that flowed and captured the light with your movements as you danced with your husband among the wealthy citizens of the city. As the two of you moved through the dance, you caught a glimpse of Yelena, dressed in her dark suit and standing next to Scott, blending into the background. Your best friend's gaze never left you. Scott's never left her. You smiled, enjoying the beauty of the moment, dancing with your husband at your very first masquerade ball.

When the dance came to an end, it took you a moment to realize it. One of the musicians announced the band would take a short break and be back in just a few minutes. Steve's hand at your lower back urged you to turn. The senator making his way towards you with a lovely older lady at his side. 

The senator's wife was polished from head to toe. Her gown was bright pink layers of satin that matched her lipstick. Otherwise her white hair and face gave her a cold countenance, like she was an ice queen dressed for her best guess at spring. Her eyes were dark, small and mean as her gaze swept over you. The senator assured you that you and his wife would have plenty to talk about. As the woman stood there studying you with pursed lips, you decided talking to her probably wasn't the best idea.

Steve's gaze met yours and he nodded as he let the senator lead him away, leaving you with the judgy woman before you.

"This must be a special night for you," she said tartly.

Straightening your spine, you smiled. "Why is that?"

The woman's white brows rose slightly but a smile played about her lips. "You don't belong here."

"Excuse me?" You kept your smile in place.

"My father was a direct descendent from The Mayflower," she informed you. "We're practically royalty here. We built our fortune through hard work and our good name. You, on the other hand, come from poverty and crime. You father crawled out the shadows and robbed good people blind. That's why you have the money to play dress up and act like you belong here. We all know your husband fancies himself some sort of underworld prince. But he doesn't belong here either."

Oh, no, she didn't just put you and your husband down. Lifting your chin, you looked her in the eye.

"Your ancestors came over on a ship over four hundred years ago and nobody cares anymore," you told her. "You can pretend to be royalty, and tell yourself you made your money working hard and protecting your good name. But the sad truth is, your family made your money the same way mine did. In fact, your family probably paid mine to keep from getting your hands dirty or to protect your interests. And my husband is the king of Boston's underworld and so was my father before him. You may be someone in society right now, but your husband is currently anelected official. If you were smart, you'd spending a little more time being respectful."

Gracefully as you could manage, you turned your back to the rude woman and marched off. Yeah, maybe you hurt your husband's chances of getting the permits you needed for the project development once she talked to her husband. But you weren't about to put up with someone like that. 

You looked all around for Yelena. You were dying to tell her about the conversation you'd just had. But you weren't watching where you were going and you collided with someone hard.

And whoever he was, he caught you in his arms, sweeping you out onto the dance floor as another waltz began. He was as tall as your husband and the scent of his expensive cologne was familiar. You realized who held you a beat before he spoke, a low purr by your ear.

"Did you miss me, beautiful?"

Barnes.

Easing back, you glanced up at your uninvited dancing partner, wearing an aura of allure and danger with ease. Barnes' chiseled jawline was partially obscured by the intricately designed black mask he wore, adorned with silver accents catching the light. Those steely-blue eyes were shadowed but still piercing, glinting with a cold intensity as his gaze met yours.

His tuxedo was entirely black and tailored to perfection, hugging his muscular frame effortlessly. His attire seemed to absorb the light, creating a sense that he came from the shadows. Even his shirt was dark onyx, subtle embroidery only revealing itself when he moved. And he felt strong as he held you, solid and healed.

Stop staring at the man and answer.

"I haven't thought about you at all," you told him, trying to sound nonchalant but not quite hitting that note.

As much as you hated to admit it, Barnes was undeniably handsome. From the way his hair was slicked back with precision to the confident smirk curling his lips, the man was... magnetic. But there was a sinister edge beneath the polished surface. There always had been. Barnes' posture was too poised, his movements too calculated. Every inch of him whispered danger, a wolf in the presence of unsuspecting lambs.

Pulling you close to him, Barnes chuckled. "I don't believe that. I think you I live rent free in that beautiful head of yours."

"Maybe," you said, feeling his smile widen. "I do think about how I wished we'd used more poison."

Now he laughed, a deep rich sound. "I don't doubt that."

"What do you want?" You looked anywhere but at him. Still, you were so focused on the predator that held you, you weren't really seeing your surroundings. The music, the lights, everything else seemed to fade into the background.

"What do you think I want?" Barnes asked.

As Barnes swept you around the floor, your mind scrambled for a comeback. "Your hands around my throat," you said, going with honesty. "And me dead?"

Leaning in, he ran his nose gently up the column of your neck, making you shiver. "Oh, I did. I really did. And I could have made that happen."

You were dangerously close to having him think he had the upper hand here. "No, you couldn't."

Again, he chuckled. "You've got it all figured out, don't you?" Releasing you only long enough to spin you in the dance, he pulled you back into him tightly. "You made peace with your husband. You're now involved in the family business. I would call Steve a pussy for even thinking about that if it were any other woman. But you're not just any woman. But you're special."

You missed a step in your alarm. How the hell did Barnes know you were in the all the family business meetings now? And that you and Steve had made peace? The questions triggered your anxiety, reminding you of the days early in your marriage when Neal had been Barnes' rat and you were always looking over your shoulder. Was someone else talking to Barnes?

"A long time ago, your mother seduced my father," Barnes whispered. "She tore my family apart. And when you came along and you weren't the poor disfigured little girl we were told you were, I assumed you were a little whore like your mother. You look almost exactly like her. Has anyone told you that?"

You didn't answer, trying hard to put a little space between the two of you. Where was Steve? It wouldn't be too conspicuous if he broke in on the dance. If Yelena or Scott came to save you, it could create a scene and unwanted attention. 

"I even thought maybe, horrible thought I know," Barnes went on, "that you might be my half-sister. But it didn't take me long to realize that wasn't true either. Besides, that devious little mind in there, hidden behind all that beauty? You didn't get that from your mother. Or my father."

"What's it to you?" you snapped at him, trying to pull off pissed even though you held anger and fear in equal measure. "I'm Steve's wife. He's your boss. You'd do well to remember that."

Barnes was unfazed. "You're Steve's wife. For now. But he can't handle you." Barnes leaned closer, his gaze locking with yours. "You should belong to someone stronger."

Now you really were getting pissed. "I don't need you or any man, including my husband, to tell me who I am and what I should be doing," you said.

"You may be right," he purred. "But it's that attitude, that fire. It got me thinking... I had the wrong idea about you from the beginning. Yeah, all the bitterness from the past clouded my judgment for a while. I wanted you dead and buried next to your loser husband." When you tried to pull free of him, he tightened his grip. His grin widened. "Now I realize you're exactly what I need."

"For what?" You didn't know how much of your glare he got from behind your mask.

"To finally take my rightful place," he said as if it were gospel. "The position occupied by your current husband."

Current husband? Who the fuck did he think he was?

"Our children will be kings and queens," Barnes went on. "That dynasty would rule Boston for decades."

"My children with Steve will rule Boston," you told him angrily. "And when we're done with you, no one will even remember the Barnes family."

"One day," he said with meaning, leaning closer, "you'll be mine."

Despite yourself, you shivered. Barnes caught it.

"You want me too," he whispered. "I'll make you admit it."

As the song neared its end, you were prepared to do whatever you had to do to get away from the bastard, the man who'd done so much damage to your family. As the last strains of the symphony ended, Barnes released you to bow. You did curtsy to him, then you straightened.

"I will never be yours." You meant it with every fibre of your being. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find my husband."

Barnes' grin didn't fade. "Better find a way to keep him safe."

You spun on your heel, marching off the dance floor. You needed air, and a moment to calm down. You were blinking back tears, you were that angry. You felt someone on your heels as you made you way out of the main event room out ornate glass doors left open. It was chilly out there but you welcomed it, fighting back anger.

"Are you okay?" Yelena asked, her hand at your back as you gripped the railing and hung on. 

"No, I'm not... o-fucking-kay," you said, trying to regain your composure. "He came out of nowhere."

"He did," Yelena said. "He got to you so quickly after you talked to the senator's wife."

"Where's Steve?" you asked.

"Talking very intently to the senator," she replied. "It appears to be going well."

You had to wonder if that would still be true once the senator's wife caught a moment to tell her husband and your little "talk."

But you had bigger problems right now. Barnes.

"Barnes is all healed up," you told her. Looking beyond her, you saw Scott by the entranceway back into the ball. "And he's got big plans."

"He wants you," Yelena said it. "That much was obvious. It gives me some idea of his plans."

You nodded. "Don't say anything to Steve or Scott right now. I just want to find a glass of champagne to take the edge off and get through the rest of the ball."

With any luck, you could maybe enjoy one more magical dance with Steve before the evening ended.

You couldn't, however, complain. You wanted to be in on the family business and this was part of it. Barnes, unfortunately, was also part of it.  And he'd just announced his intentions to you and you realized now it was the pit that had been in your stomach the entire evening. 

Barnes would keep tearing your life apart until he was stopped. Somehow between his drastic plans and the animosity between you and your husband, you'd found your way to a happy marriage. A path to be queen in this world. And you'd be damned if you let Barnes threaten that future.

"You're going to tell Steve, right?" 

"I am." You didn't miss the concern in Yelena's voice. "I'm telling all of you. But not here."

Nodding her agreement, Yelena watched as you straightened, steeled yourself to return to the event. 

"Let's find you a glass of champagne, boss," she said with a wink.

Boss? Now that put the smile back on your face. 

@valsworldofcreativity @21stcenturywitchcraft @coconutqueen21 @bval-1 @caffiend-queen @sadlittlecountess @candy-and-writing @capsicle-shield @chaoticfiretaconerd @chrisevansgirl @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @coldmuffinbanditshoe @daughterofthenight117 @hv-chw3 @iheartsebstan @imanuglywombat @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @justrae9903 @lokislastlove @mariaenchanted @maxwelllee2020 @nekoannie-chan @nerdwholikesword @notyourtypicalrose @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @peaceinourtime82 @rainbowkisses31 @rayofdawnworld @richonne4life @rissysthoughts-blog @saiyanprincessswanie @scarletsoldier21-blog @shygirl-00 @supernaturaldean67 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @team-iron-wannabe-man @titty-teetee @tonib666 @villanellev @vitamingummies @what-is-your-plan-today @what-is-your-wish @xoxabs88xox @rosalynshields @naturalthrone22 @marvelovernfan @gotnofucks @eralen @kawairinrin @bluemusickid @geminievans1 @daughterofthenight117 @sunmoonandbuckyrecs @jesevans @kandis-mom @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @kmc1989 @curiousandjoyous @marvelouslyme96 @patzammit

[revengesworn]

Like 4 mikey starter hehehe >:)

[starstruckserenity]

reverse comfort with s/o who’s a soft hugger that tries to cheer kokichi up by using his interests? ex. gaming

hi everyone!! i am so, SO sorry for the inactivity. i haven't been doing too well mentally as of late, and motivation is very hard to come by. thank you for the request, and thank you for being patient! ❤

"Y/N?" Kokichi called your name from the exterior of your door.

You had been relaxing on your couch, deciding to spend a few hours by yourself. Being able to forget about the horrors of the killing game for a while was a nice change of pace. Soon, your eyesight grew hazy. You were slowly falling into a quiet slumber, ready to embrace the euphoric feeling of a 6-hour nap...

Ouma knocked on your door rapidly, panicking to himself. He felt as though he didn't quite catch your attention, the attention he needed so desperately.

This immediately disturbed your sleep. You looked up and let out an overexaggerated sigh before getting up and opening the door.

There he was. Ouma stood there silently, staring at you with cold, hopeless eyes, his mouth drawn into a straight line. He was tracing your doorframe with his left fingertips, and fidgeting with the end of his coat with his right hand.

"Hey. I really need someone to talk to. I need you. Let me in... please." He mumbled out quickly. He looked down and let his purple locks fall over his face. He looked almost shameful. You were fairly surprised, you had never seen him so quiet, so lost for words... You were partly expecting that this was some kind of joke.

"God, Kokichi, I've never seen you this stressed. If you're just using me for the empathy I have for you, I'm gonna be pissed." You joked, cocking your head to the side.

Kokichi grimaced, his frown piercing through your heart and mind. You blinked. "Shut up. Just let me inside."

You just looked at him for a moment before ushering him inside your room, guiding him with a gentle hand.

As soon as you both got inside, he threw his arms around you and collapsed onto you without any warning. You yelped, falling back onto the sofa you were once casually resting in.

"Kokichi, seriously... What's wrong?" You half-yelled, before shutting yourself up as you felt his hair tickle your collarbone.

"You can talk to me." You whispered in a hushed tone, subtly wrapping your arms around him as you heard him sniffle into your chest.

"I hate this. I hate this, Y/N. I really do. I have to get outta here. I have to get out before they do something to me, before they kill me, I have to---" He was silenced when you started mindlessly drawing shapes onto his forearms. He watched you, melting into your embrace. He shuddered a bit at the sensation of your fingers on his skin, loving every second of it.

"It'll be fine, Kokichi. You'll make it, I'm sure of it. ...And, I mean, if it means anything, I can try my best to protect you. I care for you a lot." You caressed his hair, sliding your fingers through his thick strands. "I'm here for you, always."

He lifted his head up slowly, glancing up at you with shiny eyes and a weepy nose.

"Do you really mean that?" He blubbered out, gripping onto your shoulders tightly.

You kissed his tears away. "I do. And if anything were to come in between us, I'd do anything in my power to shut them up." You mused, attempting to peak his interest.

"Wowww~ you'd really do that...? For me?" He began to giggle and kick his feet slightly. "That's real cute of you, Y/N." He twirled his hair playfully before grinning lightly.

It seemed like he was back to his normal, goofy self. But you wanted to make sure he was completely, undoubtedly, 100% okay.

You looked down at him. "How about we go outside, yeah? It's nice out." You pointed to your dimly-lit window that was secluded by shades. You continued, "I'm sure we could find someone to mess with..."

"...You know me so well. I'd love to~!" He popped up from your chest to get a better view of you. Finally, you were able to get a good look at him. This was the first time you've seen Kokichi's smile in the past few hours. You couldn't lie and say that you didn't miss it.

You leaned down, kissed him, and smothered him between your chest one last time. After a few moments, you found each other stepping towards the door, hand in hand.

But before you could let the door close behind the two of you, you heard him whisper a quiet, "Thank you, I love you."

[canirove]

I don’t like you, Mason Mount | Chapter 1

Summary: Have you ever heard of Mason Mount? He is a football player, and one who people (and himself) believe to be among the best out there. That, and that he is handsome, funny, charming, super nice with the fans... But he doesn't fool me. He is overrated. Very, overrated. Or that's what I thought until Christmas, when my niece Lola dragged me to an event where I got to meet him in person.  

Author’s note: This story is inspired on an imagine I posted over Christmas, so some of you may have already read this first chapter. But if you ever wondered what happened to them after meeting, here you'll have the answer! Also, thank you very much for all the love on that imagine! I was going to keep writing their story because the muse came to visit me, but seeing that so many of you liked it motivated me a lot more to keep writing 😊 Starting with this story today also is special, because last year for Valentine’s Day I posted the first chapter of my first story ever, and it also was with Mason. Anyway, hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"Thank you so much for taking Lola to this thing. You know I would do it myself if I wasn’t feeling like shit."

"It's ok, don't worry."

"I know you don't like anything that has to do with football or him."

"I'll survive."

"I promise I'll get you something good for Christmas as a thank you."

"You still haven't bought my present? Monica, Christmas is in two days!" 

"That's enough time" she shrugs.

"Auntie!" my niece Lola says, running towards me.

"Hello, gorgeous. Are you ready?" I say, hugging her.

"I am!" she replies, doing a twirl so I can see that she's wearing Chelsea from head to toe. And, of course, she's wearing her Mount shirt.

She's been in love with him since last year, when he visited her school and defended her against some kids who didn't let her play football with them because she was a girl. After that, she took football even more seriously, and now she's playing for a girls team and has made half our family Chelsea fans. 

Not me, though. I don't like football, and I can't stand Mason Mount and everything around him. He isn't that handsome, or funny, charming, such a good player... He is overrated. Very, overrated.

"Enjoy, darling" her mum says, giving her a quick hug. "And you, sis, be nice. Who knows, maybe you'll meet him in person and fall in love with him."

"Ha ha" I say, rolling my eyes.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm so nervous, auntie!" Lola says. We've been waiting for an hour, Mason talking and taking photos with other kids who, like her, have been selected to meet him through their football academies. And from time to time, I catch him looking at us, always smiling at me. Keep trying, Mount. 

"Hello and Merry Christmas!" he says when it finally is our turn.

"Merry Christmas" Lola says.  

"Have we met before? That red hair of yours looks so familiar..." 

"We have! You went to my school and defended me against some boys who didn't let me play football with them."

"Oh, yes. You had a Spanish name, right?"

"Yes, Lola!" she says, a big smile on her face. I guess that if my idol remembered me, I would also smile like that. 

"And who is this?" he asks her, looking at me. 

"That's my auntie. She doesn't like you, that's why she looks angry."

"Let me guess... Arsenal fan?" 

"I'm an I don't like football fan" I say. 

"But I am going to change her mind" Lola says.

"I'll help you" Mason winks. "So, should we take some photos? Your auntie is invited."

"I think I'll pass" I say with a fake smile. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"And this is where we get changed" Mason says when we walk into the changing room. After the introductions and taking some photos, he's now being our Cobham's tour guide. 

"What do you guys think?" he asks Lola and I while the others take some photos.

"It's just a changing room" I shrug. "Though I was expecting to see some of your clothes, confirm if they are as ugly on person as on photos."

"Auntie!" Lola says, he eyes going wide.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but today I came here dressed like this" he says, pointing at his Chelsea tracksuit. "You don't like it?"

"It's better than the one with sequins, so it's something."

"They weren't sequins" he says, trying to sound offended.

"If you say so... Where to next?"

"The gym" he says. "C'mon guys, time to keep moving."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"That was a really nice shot."

"Thank you" I say, picking up at the ball and shooting again. Once at the gym and after explaining what all the machines do to a very annoying man, I decided to move to the little basketball area they have while the kids play with the machine goalkeepers have to train their reflexes.

"Is basketball your favourite sport, then?" Mason asks me.

"Nope. I played when I was in high school and I kind of enjoy it, but I don't watch it or anything."

"No football, no basketball... Tennis? Rugby? Cricket?"

"No, no and no" I say, shooting again.

"Then what sport do you like?" he asks again, picking the ball.

"Formula 1."

"Uh, fancy" he says, shooting and missing.

"That was so bad" I laugh.

"I'm good with a ball on my feet. With my hands I'm good at other things" he says with a mischievous smile.

"Of course you are" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Let me guess who is your favourite driver. Lando? I'm friends with him."

"I'm not interested on kids."

"He isn't a kid, he is my age."

"Exactly" I say with a big smile.

"Ok, so if you like them older... Hamilton?"

"Nope."

"Ummm... Vettel?"

"Not him."

"Then I give up."

"So easily, Mount?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.

"I can't think of any other drivers who are older" he shrugs.

"Ricciardo."

"He is the one you like?"

"He is."

"Interesting... You may have a type, because we have something in common, you know?"

"Yeah, sure" I snort. 

"We do" he says, touching his nose before leaving to join the others. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Welcome to the cantine!" Mason says when we walk in. "We usually only have super duper healthy food, but since it's Christmas and we have guests, we've chosen a very special menu. Follow me."

Like he said, instead of fruit, pasta and all those things football players eat, they have different Christmas meals, and at the end of the buffet, there is a table full of chocolates and all kinds of sweets for the kids. And for those who aren't kids too, I hope.

"Auntie, let's seat next to the window" Lola says after we've picked our food. 

"May I join you?" Mason says behind us.

"Of course!" she replies with a big smile.

"Shouldn't you be sitting with the others? Like spending some time with each kid or something?" I ask.

"I'll do that later. Besides, there are no empty seats left."

"Don't be so rude, auntie. It's Christmas!"

"It's Christmas" he repeats with a big smile, making me roll my eyes. Again.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Ok, everyone, listen up" Mason says once we all have finished eating. "To end the day, we are going to play Secret Santa. You'll pick a name from this bag, and then make a gift for the person you've been assigned. There are lots of Chelsea merch over there, you can pick as many things as you want. I will also be playing, which means that you'll have to get me a present, and I will get you one: the shirt I wore on my last game. It's been washed, don't worry" he says, making everyone laugh. Everyone but me. "Ok, let's start the game!"

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I wonder who is getting his shirt" Lola says.

"I don't know. But we know that the boy over there is the one gifting him. His little scream gave it away" I chuckle.

"Who wants to start?" Mason asks.

"I will!" the boy I just mentioned says, moving to the table where all the presents are. "Oh..." he says, opening his box and finding a scarf and a teddy bear. 

"Sorry I wasn't Mason" a woman says.

"It's ok" the boy replies, looking very disappointed.

There only are two presents left when it finally is my turn, and one of them is the shirt.

"You got it, auntie. I can feel it!" Lola whispers next to me.

"I hope you're wrong" I say to myself, walking towards the table.

"Merry Christmas" Mason says, giving me the present with my name on it.

"Thank you" I reply. And when I open it... "Damn it" I say under my breath. 

"We have a lucky winner!" he grins, everyone around me cheering and clapping.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You can wear it on Boxing Day."

"What?"

"My shirt" Mason says. 

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you are coming to my game."

"No, I am not" I chuckle.

"Yes, you are. Lola?" he calls. "Lola, why don't you tell your auntie about my secret present?"

"Oh, yes!" she says, joining us. "He has got us tickets for Chelsea's Boxing Day game! Like, for the whole family!"

"And the whole family includes you" he says with that stupid smile of his, the one that shows a dimple on his cheek. Why have I noticed something like that? 

"I don't like football."

"But it is a special day, auntie" Lola pouts.

"C'mon, don't be a Grinch" he says, also pouting.

"I hate you. Both of you" I say.

"Is that a yes?" Lola asks.

"It's a maybe."

"Great!" she says, hugging me.

"May I join you?" Mason asks.

"Yes, group hug!"

"What? No!" I say. But before I can escape, he also is hugging me, his face very close to mine.

"Merry Christmas, auntie" he says, smiling once again.

"Fuck you" I whisper, making him laugh. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"That wasn't that bad, was it?" my sister Monica asks after the game. 

"I loved every second of it!" Lola says. "And Mason scored! I think he dedicated it to us. Or to you, auntie."

"Mount fancies you?" my dad asks.

"No! Of course not!" I say.

"Then why are you blushing?"

"Because you all are very annoying. Him included. Can we please go home now?"

"We can't" Monica says. "We are supposed to meet him and thank him for the tickets."

"What? Since when?"

"The tickets came with a note that said that" she shrugs.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"That game was amazing, boy" my dad says, patting Mason on the back. "And the goal? Wow."

"Thank you, sir" he says with a shy smile. "What did you think?"

"I don't know, I was looking at my phone" I say.

"Of course you were."

"Lola, dad, why don't we go get ourselves a drink, uh?" my sister says.

"And leave him alone with her?" my dad says.

"She'll behave. Won't you, sis?"

"I'll try."

"They are really nice" Mason says once they have left.

"Unlike me?"

"You also are nice. On your own weird way" he chuckles. "So... I was wondering... Would you... Would you like to go grab a drink or go out for dinner one day?"

"Who? Me? With you?"

"Yes, you and I. Why so surprised?"

"I don't like you, Mason."

"Yet" he says with a smile. That smile.

"You are a stubborn one, aren't you?"

"Look who is talking" he laughs. "But yes, I am. And I won't stop until I convince you to go out on a date with me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. There is something about you that I like" he shrugs.

"Well, there is nothing about you that I like."

"You are such a bad liar..." 

"Whatever" I say, crossing my arms over my chest. Because maybe he's right. Maybe I do like something about him. Like his smile. Or how cute he was with all the kids the other day, definitely not behaving like a diva.

"This is my number" he says, giving me a card. "Text me when you are free. I'll be looking forward to it."

"It's not going to happen, you know?" I say, taking the card.

"We shall see. Merry Christmas... auntie" he says, catching me by surprise and kissing my cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Mount" I reply, surprising myself when I feel my face burning, and trying not to smile. Because maybe, huge maybe here... He isn't that bad after all. 

[zedecksiew]

BLOGGIES 2023 BEST BLOG POST OF THE YEAR

On 31 January 2024, the tabletop-roleplaying-game community voted for the Best Blog Post Of 2023.

Contenders were drawn from the winners of four categories. Links, as well as their very excellent acceptance speeches---more exhortations and manifestos, really!---found here:

Theory

Gameable

Advice

Review

+++

Anyway---you voted. Results were very close; I was constantly worried about a tie. Nevertheless, a winner emerged:

Congratulations are in order, and an acceptance speech follows.

+++

(Like an idiot, I didn't plan for, and therefore didn't have the time to make a bespoke prize for the overall Bloggie winner. So they'll just get a full quadtych of lino prints. Fortunately these don't look too bad together!)

PLATINUM BLOGGIE FOR BEST BLOG POST OF THE YEAR:

🔮Re-inventing the Wilderness: Part 1 - Introduction🔮 from SachaGoat

Sacha:

As an (award-winning) blogger who only started 6 months ago - I want to use this "acceptance speech" to share the 5 steps that will start your blog: 1. You don't need a cool blog name. screenname(dot)blogspot(dot)com is probably available - you can move it later if you think of a cool name. The trick here is to set it up so your ideas can go live as soon as you're happy (or tired of editing). 2. Post something. Dust off your notebook (or note-taking app) and turn those musings into a structured post with paragraphs and context. Don't have anything ready to go? Take your latest game session and write a play report or spotlight a specific moment. This will take less time than your ttrpg prep. 3. Share it! With your gaming group, ttrpg friends, community discords, xwitter/bluesky, reddit, forums etc. 4. Don't worry about the rest. I don't have a fancy blog template. I've yet to compile a sidebar or blogroll. I don't have a newsletter or patreon. 5. Continue. Your readers will contribute with comments. You will be shared in community newsletters. Peers will write posts inspired by your posts. Your ideas will be used at another gaming table. (And if you're lucky, you can win the next BLOGGIES.) If you've shared your prep with a fellow DM… if you've contributed opinions on a ttrpg discord or forum… if you've read a blog post and have a thought that builds on it… if you have any tabletop advice or ideas … 👏 Start 👏 a 👏 blog This finally brings me to the "thanks". Winning the 2023 BLOGGIES is such a wonderful welcome to this creative niche. Many thanks to the creators who encourage the community to blog (especially around June 2023, I can actually see the thread that motivated me to start). I also want to thank a community whose collective enthusiasm and support nudge me to release the next post. And finally, everyone who voted for my post over the amazing nominations this year - a huge thank you.

+++

On a personal note: I am really thrilled at this final result.

The BLOGGIES can come off as clique-ish. Voting is public, but "public" on the Internet generally means a circle-jerk between subculture friends, a popularity contest.

This thing began as a jokey riff on those best-tweet-of-the-year polls over on Twitter. While Prismatic Wastelands grew it into a celebration of OSR blogging culture, it still has NSR / POSR inclinations---the specific community soil it sprung from.

As host this year I tried to extend the BLOGGIES' reach. Canvassing for nominations outside the OSR space got a couple of indie-RPG designers on the finalists list. Am proud of that; we have much to learn from each other.

I made prizes---hoping that, one day, with enough dangling carrots, these awards will eventually be tasty enough for non-POSR cliques / communities to attempt a takeover? We'll see.

Ultimately: I am glad to water this sapling and watch it grow slowly. Community is made by growing trees, not building greenhouses.

+++

SachaGoat snagging the final win is a vindication.

Sacha's blog is new. We don't share any Discord servers. We've never spoken, hitherto; the first time I messaged him ever was to tell him he'd won the Advice category.

The BLOGGIES fulfils its purpose: to introduce folks to quality blogs; to preach the gospel and importance of blogging. Its shade is spreading.

I'm glad to get to know Sacha and his blog. (Obviously it's been added to my must-read list!) I am honoured to be passing the torch: Sacha has agreed to host BLOGGIES 2024.

Thank you, everybody. Here's to growing trees.

[stars-n-spice]

✯ ☽ MAX'S MASTERLIST ☾ ✯

Max // 21 // They/Them // Aspec // Korean + Mexican 

Welcome to @disaster-by-chance's Star Wars side blog aka the place where I yell and cry about this space opera like it’s a full time job. If there’s absolutely one thing to know about me is that I’m an absolute slut for found family and a fucking whore for Wrecker. Oh, and canonically a space cowboy as well. 

🩵 DMs are always open if you wanna chat Star Wars, make requests, or just marvel at how incredibly bad I am at carrying conversations (I promise I’m approachable)! 🩵

Or just hop into my inbox to say hello! please I need more Star Wars mutuals/friends

⚠️ I will occasionally post nsfw things (will be tagged as #nsfw and #max-night posting) but will probably only do so super late at night, but just a word of warning for minors! ⚠️

DIVIDER REQUESTS: CLOSED

I make Star Wars themed dividers! Mostly I’ve done Bad Batch themed ones, but those aren’t the only ones I’m open to doing. 

So if you'd also like a specific kind of divider, let me know! Just tell me the theme/character/symbols you would like, the more specific the better! Even better if you have the images you want saved and ready to go. It doesn't have to be super specific. Like if you need a divider for a fic or other, you can give me a general summary of the fic and ask me to base a divider off of that. I may ask for further elaboration or other, just so I make sure I get it right and to your liking. 

🩵 If you would like to request a divider feel free to send an ask, DM me, or fill out this form! 📝

That all being said, here is all my stuff in one place! Thanks for visiting :D

✩ CAARD:

Link to my Caard! It’s got all the other links to my other social media platforms and whatnot. 

✩ KOFI:

Like my work? Feel free to buy me a coffee :D It is very much appreciated <3

✩ STORE: [CLOSED]

Have you ever wanted merch to show just how much you love the copy and paste men of Star Wars? Look no further than DISASTER’S SHOP STOP for all of your clone needs! 

✩ A03:

Occasionally I write! Not as much as I would like to, but when I can and have the motivation, you can find my fics here! 

✩ DISCORD:

Add me on discord! disasterbychance Join my LGBTQ + POC-friendly Star Wars server! You don’t necessarily have to identify as either of those two things, but considering what a toxic space the Star Wars fandom can be, I went ahead (as a queer POC fan myself) and created this server as a safe space for fans like me :) So feel free to join! Here’s the invite! 

✩ MASTERLISTS:

A collection of my different masterlists. 

Divider Masterlist The Baddies Batch Masterlist The Silly Squad Masterlist  Khea Nultez (OC) Masterlist

✩ MY TAGS: 

A collection of tags I have to help you find things better :) 

#max’s musings - me talking/rambling/venting about star wars related things #max’s masterpieces (or also #my art/#my fics) - for my art and/or fics  #max-box - for inbox answers/replies #max-night posting - for late night posts (most likely will be nsfw) #queue were the chosen one - for queue posts #tbb on the go/tbb trip pics - travel pics of my bad batch legos in places I’ve visited #clone shorts - updates/information on my clone shorts  #nsfw - pretty self-explanatory  #baddies batch - squad of TBB significant others #silly squad - The Bad Batch x The Baddies batch #guardians - ship between Hunter & Jung (OC) #scompscope - ship between Echo & Viram (OC) #starburst - ship between Wrecker & Khea (OC) #sharpshooters - ship between Crosshair & Tay (OC)

✩ TAG LISTS:

Join a tag list! Let me know what you would like to be tagged in or fill out this form here!

[fragmentedlegends]

Every muse now has their own Spotify playlist! <3

I love making playlists for muses because it's a fun way to explore various parts of their feelings, thoughts, motivations, etc., and can help me find a unique "voice" for their narrative. I love seeing the differences and similarities between these playlists in styles, tones, and themes!

Randomly pulled lines from each playlist—

Hylia: In the land of plenty, we don't know what the word "no" means. Give it to me, give me all the things I want...we want violence, we want blood, we want superhero love, we want all the answers that you promised us, we want laughter, we want pain...A coronation, a beheading, from the funeral to the wedding, do you think they care where the crown goes?

Rhoam: I'm trying to get up, they're knocking me down, chewing me up, spitting me out, when I need to be saved, you're making me strong, you're making me stand, never will fall, never will end...you make me feel invincible, earthquake powerful, just like a tidal wave, you make me brave, you're my titanium, fight song rising up, like the roar of victory

Astor: Talk to myself, lie in the darkness so content, as the sun begins to rise I can barely shut my eyes, this crazed, delirious mess, laughing at everything I see, my sanity is spent...attention, all insomniacs, please raise your right hand and kindly repeat after me: "I guess I'll sleep when I am dead."

Ganondorf: Anything exceptional gets crushed by common people with jealousy and ignorance and all their common evils, this planet isn't special, collections made of clay, I'm waiting for the punishment, I know it's on my way, so cut me up, fuck me up...the last man standing gets no pity...you wanna win the war? Know what you're fighting for.

Sonia: Here's to us, here's to love, all the times that we messed up, here's to you, fill the glass, 'cause the last few days have kicked my ass, if they give ya hell, tell 'em go fuck themselves...here's to all we kissed and all we missed, to the biggest mistakes that's we just wouldn't trade, to us breakin' up without us breakin' down, to whatever's comin' out way, here's to us...wish everybody well, here's to us.

Link: You thought nothing could surprise you, you thought you’d seen everything but you never saw me coming, all eyes on me, ready or not I’m making waves, ready or not you can’t escape, ready or not I’m on my way, you can’t stop what I got, ready or not.

Demise: I came to stand tall, stare down the barrel of a gun that's aiming, 'cause that's all it ever takes, to change something you know's worth changing...it's what I want, it's towering tall in my heart, confusion between good and evil.

Revali: "You're never gonna make it, there's no way that you make it, yeah maybe you can fake it, but you're never gonna make it." Are you just gonna take that? Make them take it all back. Don't tell me you believe that. Are you just gonna take that? Or will you fucking fight back?

[reallygroovyninja]

Sneak Peek of a story I am working on called Eden. I feel like if I show the first part off, it will motivate me to keep going. It currently sits at 12.5k, and I need a reason for Clexa to meet up again. No, they haven't done anything yet beyond talk. Kinda a slow burn for me. lol.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The crowd was a living, breathing wave of energy, and Clarke thrived in it. She strutted across the stage, her voice a weapon that commanded the room. The heavy beat of the last song thumped through the venue, a pump-up anthem that had every person on their feet, fists in the air, singing along. Clarke grinned as she belted out the final chorus, sweat dripping down her face, her heart racing with the high of performing. 

From the wings, Raven and Octavia stood in the shadows, trying to figure out who Clarke had been eyeing all night. 

“It’s gotta be the blonde,” Raven yelled, nodding toward the front row, where a tall blonde had been practically worshipping Clarke from the start. Her eyes were wide, lips mouthing every word Clarke sang, body swaying in time with the music. 

Octavia squinted, leaning forward for a better look. “I don’t know. I think it’s the brunette. She’s barely paying attention, and you know how Clarke loves a challenge.” 

Raven tilted her head, sizing up the brunette, who stood a few seats over from the blonde. She was texting on her phone and occasionally, she’d glance at Clarke, but mostly she seemed unfazed by the chaos around her. 

“True, Clarke could be into that whole 'I’m not interested' vibe,” Raven mused, her eyes flicking between the two women. 

They both knew the routine well. By the end of the night, it would be up to them to figure out who Clarke had locked onto. It was a pattern they had grown used to—find the omega Clarke had been watching and somehow convince her to head to Clarke’s hotel room for the night. That’s how it always went, and Raven and Octavia always had to make sure they didn’t screw up the choice. 

As the music began to build toward the final note, Raven bit her lip. “So, we picking the brunette, then?” 

Octavia nodded. “Yeah, she’s got that unattainable thing going on. Clarke loves to win over omegas like that.” 

“Alright,” Raven said, glancing at Clarke as she worked the stage, commanding the crowd like a queen. “We go with the brunette.” 

Clarke’s voice hit its peak, the last note hanging in the air for a split second. The crowd exploded, cheering and screaming for more. Clarke turned toward the audience, her lips curling into a wicked smile. Her eyes flashed, and then—just as Raven and Octavia prepared to move—Clarke pointed directly at the blonde in the front row and winked. 

Raven and Octavia froze, their mouths dropping open. 

“Shit,” Raven muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. 

Octavia laughed, slapping Raven’s arm playfully. “We were so close!” 

“I swear I thought it was the brunette,” Raven groaned, rubbing her arm. 

“Well, guess we know our job,” Octavia said, already moving toward the stairs that would lead them down to the front row. “Let’s go grab blondie before she passes out from excitement.” 

Raven smirked. “Yeah, no kidding. Clarke’s gonna have fun with this one.” 

As Clarke stood on the stage, basking in the adoration of her fans, Raven and Octavia disappeared into the crowd, ready to find the omega Clarke had picked for the night. 

[themarydragon]

What I'm Working On:

Slightly better title than "Fic Scheduling" but still clunky. I'll workshop it some more.

Currently posting ME fic. "One and Done" will be done this week. "Red Letter Days" will take us into the new year. It's sequel, "Sabbatical" and it's companion "Off the Record" are ready to go right behind it; both are finished but aren't yet drafted to AO3 so I'm not entirely sure the chapter or word counts. It's a lot, though.

Currently playing ME3 so I can finish part 3 of The Chakwas Fic. I know how it goes down, I'm just a stickler for trying to stay reasonably close to canon, so I've got a lot of datamining to do, so I'm writing as I play and playing as I write.

Original Worlds: I wrote a short Original Fiction story just to vent a sadness, and I'm seriously deliberating putting it up somewhere. The OF I was previously working on has been rattling around for half a year now and I think I know how to get past the place I was stuck. Intentionally NOT doing that, though.

Side projects: starting to dabble harder in visual novels and then being hit hard with the OC stick and writing up How My OC Did It and contemplating posting. I've got (finished) stories for three of them now - Blooming Panic, Our Life, and Andromeda Six. Not at all sure I want to post them. If you read this and have an opinion, please let me know, I'm genuinely torn.

Somebody please talk me out of re-writing Howl's Moving Castle from Howl's perspective. I recently read it and decided I wanted his POV and somebody needs to talk me down.

Zelda: I'm at the excerpt-writing stage, where individual scenes scream at me until I write them, and then they go into an unwieldy text file that I read and re-read to get motivation and inspiration and eventually they get copy-pasted out of there into the body of the actual work. Which, if you're keeping track, there will be three of. I've got the Zelda POV well underway, several scenes from the Link POV keeping me up at night, and a full outline for How to Fix "Born a Storm" It is happening, and I am hoping will be what my muse fixates on this winter.

And, as a treat: the Zelda POV will be "Still So It Flows."

"A river is time in water; as it came, still so it flows, yet never is the same." (Leonardo Da Vinci)

The Link POV will be "Restless Waters"

"Do not turn me into restless waters if you cannot promise to be my stream." (Sanober Khan)

Honorable mention:

"Rivers know this; there is no hurry. We shall get there someday." (A.A. Milne)

[scarlettwriter91]

It was bound to happen eventually...

I am editing chapter 9 out of 23 of my book. THE ONE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE BY JUNE!

Anywho. I'm on chapter 9 and suddenly the muse has struck!

Except it's the fanfic muse 😓

And hey, I'm just as ready to get Harry's reaction to Snape and Evelyn's news as anyone else is, but I've got to get this book edited!!

I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!

Should I even be making this post on Tumblr?? NO!!

So, I'm giving myself a little motivation. Hopefully. For every like this gets, I'll edit a paragraph. For every comment or reblog, I'll edit a scene. Then once this chapter is done, I'll write one, EXACTLY ONE, chapter of And Then There Were Three.

I have an extra long weekend coming up. I don't need to waste it lol.

Edit: I just spend an insane amount of time looking for a gif of Bugs Bunny in the first Space Jam where he screams "We need your help!!!" But I couldn't find it, so pretend it's there, okay?

[cagedchoices]

proofwhiskey!

SEND ME A URL AND I'LL WRITE SOME POSITIVITY FOR IT

@proofwhisky

If it looks like I'm answering this now several days after the fact in a desperate attempt to get back on Gami's good side after previously incurring his wrath…it's because I am, that is 100% what is happening and now everyone knows my secret plans. 🤭 lfjasdkfh all jokes aside:

I first met Gami back in their Jesse Pinkman days, which quickly led to a good old unprompted interaction between his post-series Jesse and Caleb that was both hilarious and heartbreaking. It started off with Jesse being like “dude. you look just like me.” 

Both of them were like “hey what the fuck-” looking like that Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme, but then they were also trying to figure out what each other's Deal™ was and realized they're both severely traumatized and broken in ways that were so fundamentally different and yet shared so many similarities at the same time. Jesse flirted with Caleb at one point and the plan was Caleb was Supposed to flirt back but he wasn’t really ready to accept whatever he thought that meant, I guess. Now they just perpetually exist in my head as trauma-bonded besties who give each other shit for being the same but not.

When Gami made a return to rp with Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders as a muse I was, as I always am, thrilled to see them back! Their writing has always been good don't listen to their objections abt it - but it has continued to improve and age like a fine wine with time and even more practice. I've rewatched Peaky Blinders at least 5 times now and it's so clear that Gami Gets Tommy's motives and personality down so well.

Additionally, he is insanely creative and talented as a mixed media artist and he runs a kickass discord server which i can't recommend enough if you like horror and you've got time to kill. Basically, Gami's one of my ride or die pals and I'm always looking forward to our next adventure. 💙

[starg1rlie]

HII! im quite new here so im unsure if this is right but

💍 with diluc? im very reserved despite that i am quite chaotic with people i'm close to— my only hobby is drawing.. i would've count videogames if it weren't for the fact i get so drained easily and have little time to spare for gaming i tend to come off as rude to new people

i quite adore loving people, i dont really hide it either oh you're close to me? ill hug you everytime i see you. you dont like physical affection? thats ok! i can just tell you how much you mean to me

that'll be all ty!!

(apologies for taking so long, nonnie! here it is! diluc might be a little ooc, and this is not proof-read, so if there are any mistakes/spelling errors, my apologies...nonetheless, enjoy! if you want to send in a 💍 too, that's fine by me! just fyi, it might take a while, depending on my motivation. this is the one thing i will slide for requests. anything else will not be accepted; please read pinned for more.)

going to an art museum

diluc's an art guy, change my mind. he suggested taking you out one night to one of his favorite museums, and he then proceeded to walk you down each art hall and pointing out the most famous paintings, or the ones that he enjoys admiring the most. he'll have his hand linked with yours, fingers laced through your own all the while. after a while of walking and chattering about art, the two of you will walk (or drive) home, diluc still gushing about the artworks he'd witnessed today.

being your model

as much as an art guy he is, he can't seem to sit still enough for your portraits of him. he doesn't mind being your muse, but seriously, why pick the most ridiculous poses to remain still in? he huffed, blowing a strand of his ruby-red hair away from his eyes, limbs struggling to hold themself up in the pose you'd previously suggested him to sit in. that was an hour ago, and even though he knew that art was a delicate process, a cramp was starting to form in his upper left leg and if he didn't readjust his pose soon, he'd probably collapse. for art, he told himself, sucking another breath in and wincing as the cramp got even worse. but please, hurry up.

splashing in rain puddles together

diluc likes rain, truly, he does. but put him outside in the rain when it's pouring? he'll act like a cat who is forced to take a bath. but he'll do it for you, if you insist. he was dragged outside, barely zipped into his raincoat and was immediately met by an onslaught of splashing. you had begun to jump around in the large rain puddles that formed in front of your house, splashing him (and his brand new raincoat) with mud and rain droplets. come, he said, holding his hand out for you. with hands linked together, the two of you splash in the rain puddles for approximately ten minutes before diluc insists you guys head in before the two of you catch pnemonia.

borrowing (stealing) his hoodie

not again, diluc thought to himself when he'd gotten up to get ready for his early morning jog. it was barely 6 o'clock, and he doubted you were awake. even if you were, you would never give up your (his) hoodie. this was the fifth time this week one of his favorite hoodies had gone missing. no one else lived in your apartment, so the only possible thief was, obviously, you. he crept into your shared bedroom and peered down at your sleeping form, all cozy in his sweater and tucked under the covers. i guess i can run without a hoodie, he told himself, shutting the door quietly behind him and settling on wearing a tanktop, even though the outside weather was below freezing in the mornings. the things you do for love.

staying in each other's arms

diluc may not seem as an affectionate man to strangers, but he is, behind closed doors. he doesn't mind PDA, but he's just a much bigger softie at home than he is outside. he snuggled closer against your form, taking in the scent of your freshly-washed T-shirt, laundry detergent filling his nose as he made himself more comfortable. you look so happy, you told him with a laugh, tucking a strand of his hair away. that's because i am happy, he responded simply and lifted hi head so he could peck your cheek.

watching fireworks together

diluc had long made plans to take you out on new years eve, so, now that the day finally came, it was no surprise how excited he was for it. he packed a picnic basket full of snacks and sandwiches, since you insisted to stay for the entire show, and an extra blanket and pillow, should you end up falling asleep (which he had no doubt would happen). the fireworks display only just started, but you gaped and gasped in awe at the beautiful array of colors in front of you. if he could sear this moment permanetely in his brain, he would; the way the fireworks sparkled reflectively in your eyes made his heart practically soar to his throat. it reminded him of all the reasons why he loved you. half-way through the show, he looked down once more, only to find that you had dozed off, head leaning against his shoulder, and mouth slightly agape, chest rising and falling to meet your intake of breaths. he chuckled softly to himself, draping the extra blanket around you and bringing you closer to him.

[jacqcrisis]

Someone caught me dead to rights about Caleb’s dad in the new chapter and I'm gunna talk about him. He’s moving in with a guy he had a more that friends, less that dating relationship with in early college. Their thing ended cause they had to get married, they kept in touch via letters and then calling and then texting, enjoying a long distance relationship. 

The ennui of life set in first for the other guy and there would be reminiscing about the old days in his correspondence, hints that he’s never let Caleb’s dad go, and invitations to come out for a more romantic getaway since they are well-locked into their marriages at this point and what’s the harm, really? Caleb’s dad reciprocated some of this (mostly the what couldve been), but he’s committed; he believes in his marriage and loves his wife despite the fact their intimacy is at an all time low and she seems to have little time for him anymore. But that’s fine since their youngest is almost out of the house, and they can focus on each other once Maddie is in college. 

And then she tells him she has a boyfriend, and has for three or so years and she isn’t signing the contract again. She wants the magic binding them together to fade, to have him out of her house, out of her family, and to move on with her life. It's non-negotiable as it's clear that, while she doesn't verbalize it, that this had been, like many others, a marriage of convenience and his wife is ready to live how she hasn't been able to for 27 years.

This is understandably devastating and he tells his old friend, who just got seperated himself last year. His friend is sympathetic, understanding, having been checked out of his marriage a while ago but the divorce still stings as the family you are married into leaves you in the dust the second the contract expires. He’s quick to extend the offer again, this time not for a romantic getaway, but for a new start, promising no ulterior motives; he can keep his old feelings in check if Caleb’s dad doesn’t want anything to do with them.

So Caleb’s dad thinks about it for a week, dormant emotions always quick to reactivate, especially so in his fragile state. Nothing big or aching, just old musings and yearnings that what they used to have could’ve been more before he met and fell in love with his soon to be ex. So he agrees to move out, nothing really holding him back and having a career easy enough to find anywhere, making it clear that he’s not looking for more than friendship and a roommate but quietly not closed off to something more, perhaps a few months down the line when he’s a little more settled into his new life.

And one of you motherfuckers said 'can't wait the spinoff'. You know how easy i am to bait into writing about something. I'll write about middle aged dads finding new love and a new lease on life. I'll fucking do it.

[blysse-and-blunder]

midweek commonplace book: the rough drafts

5pm, wednesday, june 28, 2023

it's been over a month since i drafted the following ilcb post, and here i am again, in the same coffee shop i was in back then, again avoiding working on a cover letter for a course instructorship position. in the intervening time, i a) got that job b) taught that whole class, c) took a weekend trip to see a friend get married, and d) am now applying for the next one! figured it was time to open the vault (my chaotic drafts folder) and let these musings see the light of day. maybe it's the key to my success.

edits and new text below in [brackets] to preserve the original draft's ~authenticity~. XD

in lieu of a commonplace book: may day

3pm sunday, april 30 -- 6pm sunday, may 7, 2023

it's rainy and there are so many flowers starting to emerge in the neighborhood, and i've been cozily reading escapist fantasy instead of writing my syllabus or facing the future head on.

reading since i last made one of these posts, i've finished reading the following: the golden enclaves by naomi novik (audio), the jasmine throne by tasha suri, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (audio), dial a for aunties by jesse sutanto (audio), and the tyrant baru cormorant by seth dickinson. this not being exclusively a book review series, unfortunately, we're just going to talk about the [left out the title but did include the picture so we know it was at the feet of the sun by victoria goddard!].

[i think i failed to actually write out my thought about this one because a number of people who follow me (@spoonierbard, @hematiterings) were either reading it or were about to start reading it, and i didn't want to color their experiences. i was also not entirely sure how i felt about it? i think i went in with expectations this time, which is a recipe for disappointment-- and i also had actual literary 'critique' thoughts primed and ready, as opposed to the pure vibes and pleasure with which i approached hote. overall-- and i say this as someone who reads and loves fan fiction-- it felt like reading fan fiction, ambitious, self-indulgent, big focus on relationships and feelings, and with a definite Point to Make. a behemoth of a book, and full of things to love--but less transcendent, for me, than its precursor. happy to expand on these feelings in a pm!]

listening

[i didn't write anything here, but i did include the two videos below. both were new to me this spring-- i never had a fallout boy phase in high school, please don't laugh, so it was very exciting to fall in love with first so much for stardust and then, at the recommendation of my housemate g, this track from folie a deux. 'disloyal order of water buffaloes']

[i think both of these songs are saying something about the mood i was in this spring-- yearning? defiant? a little pissed off? "hundred days" was a sptify recommendation, and fuck if they didn't get me in one. i have since investigated the duo behind the album a little and realized i have... possible thoughts, about their oeuvre, about making art out of their relationship, but this particular song unfortunately goes extremely hard for folk so i am compelled to love it! there's just something about the main melodic hook, the plaintive/desperate tone of some of the lyrics (especially 'i want / a hundred days / of bright light' each! time!), and the way there's so much going on in the arrangement at 2:34 ish-- i wish the rest of the album was as good as this one track. i want a hundred good days! of bright light! I do regularly think about things i'm trying or striving for and think "I want ! a hundred days !" of whatever it is. At least 100 days. there's something almost reminiscent of tiffany aching to this, for me-- using your selfishness/unvarnished wants to motivate you.]

watching taking a break from prestige tv!... with more prestige tv. started severance while my fellow succession and ted lasso-viewing housemate is out of the country. i love the stylization, the aesthetic, the eeriness! this is what i was hoping don't worry darling (2022) would be, in terms of combining a mid-century aesthetic with our main characters working for some enigmatic brain-washing Company or Project. Lumon better not be a simulation-- as i discovered back in january, i like it when there's some *there* there, when the conspiracy is actually as trippy as it seems, i understand that sometimes people want to write misdirection but man i am sad anytime something was all an illusion after all. also watched a bit of the first season of the gilded age and the first truly wild episode of mrs. davis with another housemate; there is no witty comparison or fun snappy one-liner i can come up with about these two.

[the above remains true-- i just watched a bit more severance yesterday! there was a massive cliffhanger just where i stopped, but the tone of the show is so Much that i actually was glad for the break. don't get me wrong-- i love how stylized it all is, still, i love the aesthetic and all the visual and verbal details that build up to mad-men-esque 60s office culture-horror, it's fantastic. getting that little extra moment with dichen lachman's character and hearing her talk about her experience was...gutting... but my favorite character continues to be devon.]

[playing]

[triumphant return to both dnd campaigns in the past week or so! it hasn't been entirely my fault that neither group met for most of the past six weeks, but i didn't help. campaign B had our one-year anniversary on sunday! one of the players went really overboard and commissioned a bunch of beautiful cards and badges and coins for us and our characters' little secret organization!! we broke the dm's screen door briefly and saw how big her baby has gotten!! we cried over @dimir-charmer's wedding dress! we successfully escaped the wild west!]

[making]

[didn't even draft this section. i thing i had just fixed...something, but who remembers what. pro cooking tip, leftover tortilla soup can become poor grad student shakshuka so easily. two eggs + in a pan + simmer = profit]

[working on]

[aforementioned cover letter for a course instructorship for next fall is due tomorrow. technically there are two i could be going for, both of which have definite pros and cons, but i'm pouring all this time and angst into one and just kinda forgot about the other? also i'm grading for two different classes, figuring out how to have sooo many tabs open at the same time and how to juggle spreadsheets+answer key+word+ pdf reader all at the same time. oh for the days of paper submissions, you know? last but not least, i am desultorily staring at the manuscript + outline for my conference paper for next month (less than a month now! fuck!) for like an hour a day, and making very little practical progress on it. so.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

//Ooc post.

Hewwo friends. As you may have noticed, my muse for this blog took a nose dive. I think probably it was the combination of late winter depression, which affects me p bad, and all the pressure I was putting on myself to write a bunch of stuff for the 200 follower event.

I love brandy, and I want to keep writing for her. And I think the best way to get some of that motivation back is to clear out the requests I got for the follower fics. I'm going to keep a note of who all requested fics, and maybe when my motivation is TRULY back I might return to some of them and write up a little thing. But for now I think I'm going to remove them from my inbox and start semi-fresh.

I'm sorry and also I love you guys and also oops why did I time things like that! Very silly of me, the seasonal depression hits EVERY year you'd think I'd have learned by now.

Someone sent me a great ask about trees a while back though I am excited to get back to poke-tree posting. Get ready for some niche ass lore.

[findroleplay]

Hey folks! Decided to spice things up with another roleplay request because my recent ones have been incredibly dry. Today, I'm itching to dive into a My Hero Academia roleplay – it's been too long, and I'm ready to jump back in! My main muse is Shigaraki and I'm looking for someone that might be interested in doing Overhaul. I've already established a couple plots for the pairing, but I'm not opposed to brainstorming. Please read my rules before contacting me, I'll know if you didn't.

BEFORE CONTACTING ME.

𖦹 Absolutely NO minors. This is nonnegotiable, I am an adult and I just find it uncomfortable to roleplay with anyone underage. It's nothing personal, it just isn't my thing.

𖦹 I'm seeking partners who can maintain a relatively active presence. If you find yourself only able to respond after prolonged periods, be it days or weeks, kindly refrain from reaching out. The same goes for individuals who send a handful of messages and then vanish into thin air. Personally, I'm not keen on playing the cat-and-mouse game or chasing after fleeting interactions. If you're not invested in roleplaying with me, that's completely fine, but please, let's avoid the intentional ghosting route. I'm here to forge authentic connections, and I've moved past the point of engaging in such games with others.

𖦹 I consider myself literate to advanced when it comes to my writing abilities. Typically, my replies span around 10-20 lines, though the length can be influenced by the content I have to work with and my current level of motivation. Generally, I tend to mirror my partner's responses most of the time. I'm not overly demanding when it comes to my partner's responses. As long as there's effort, I'm content and won't complain. However, I do require some of the basics, such as reasonable grammar, accurate spelling, and a firm no to one-liners.

𖦹 I have little to no triggers. No, seriously, don't be afraid to shoot any ideas that you'd like to share with me, the worst that can happen is that I simply say no. The only thing's I'd rather not explore is heavy descriptions of suicide/self harm, underage, extreme gore and snuff. Besides that? Pretty much anything else is on the table for discussion. I'd heavily prefer a partner that has little triggers as well. 🕊️

𖦹 Regarding genres, I tend to gravitate strongly towards darker themes. While it's not a strict prerequisite, if you want to grab my attention, this is what truly captivates me. In my roleplays, I enjoy incorporating a diverse range of elements, including angst, slow burn, conflict, romance, drama, fantasy, fluff, and everything in between. It's more of a personal preference, but I find that it adds a layer of intrigue and keeps things engaging!

𖦹 Make sure you've got Discord on hand. I mainly rely on Tumblr for partner searches, but the actual roleplay almost exclusively takes place on Discord. Keep this in mind when reaching out!

𖦹 Lastly, be open to some OOC banter and easygoing conversation. I'm a pretty laid back person, just looking to have a good time! If you're super uptight and refuse to engage with jokes or casual chats, we might not be the best match, unfortunately. Even if you're an amazing roleplayer, if you're not open to any form of out-of-character interactions, it could honestly dampen the enjoyment of the roleplay for me.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to finding potential partners!

(Like this post and I'll reach out to you)

-