#i had a really really excellent time talking with my friends about the games we play together last night

[keclan]

tabletops are fun :)

[ironunderstands]

Topaz appreciation post because she’s been rotating around my brain like a rotisserie chicken and I need y’all to get her like I do 

Genuinely, I believe her to be the most underrated limited 5 star in the game everything wise, because she is so damn interesting and nobody talks about it ever and it drives me nuts.

So, I’m going to make you understand why exactly I love her and what makes her so amazing in the first place.

Her lore 

Topaz’s lore is rather simple, at least compared to other characters in the game, but simple ≠ bad and her story serves her perfectly.

Long before Topaz was Topaz, she was a girl named Jelena, living in a desolate planet at the edge of the galaxy. The economy of this planet was based around mining and industry, which resulted in her home becoming more and more polluted as time went on. The wildlife almost completely disappeared, people had to wear masks to breathe, and it seemed like her planet was reaching a hopeless, dismal end.

Until the IPC came. They promised to fix everything, and heal her planet of its environment problems, in exchange for every person on the planet signing a contract of indentured servitude to the IPC. Seeing no other way out, Topaz’s home accepted, forever tying her and the rest of the planet to the IPC.

Topaz is was (and still is) incredibly talented and competent, excelling in science, economics, finances, math, etc. Her exceptional talents caused her mentor  and parental figure Dvorski, who works in the Strategic Investment Department to recommend her to Jade, one of his superiors. Presumably, this is how she started her climb up the corporate latter, eventually becoming the Topaz we know and love today. 

Throughout this, she maintained her friendly and headstrong attitude, and never abandoned her love for animals or the people in her life like Dvorski, a trait which will be important for later. 

So, I’ve established the basics, so what makes this interesting?

Topaz’s trauma and how it affects her character 

I feel like a lot of people ignore just how much trauma she really has, and how it affects the way she behaves in the present.

For starters, her love of animals. Sure, Numby is adorable and in general this is a rather fun trait for a character to have, it’s not something you would consider to be a sign of something darker. 

However, remember that Topaz’s planet almost lost all of the life on it, and she witnessed firsthand almost every creature she knew and loved either go extinct or become severely endangered. 

So, when you view her love for animals through this lense, it’s easy to see that she’s so attached to animals because Topaz almost lost them forever, and this trait manifests in a lot of the behavior she exhibits.

According to Topaz herself, her efficiency goes up 27% when Numby is with her, and it seems to be blatantly obvious that being around animals give her at the very least a peace of mind/sense of comfort. I mean in game she is Topaz and Numby for a reason, and her relationship with them is a core part of the way she behaves. When Topaz can’t ground herself, she has Numby to help her with that, which hurts even more considering she is likely going on these missions alone 90% of the time, meaning her literal only friend is a pet/animal. 

Considering Topaz’s biological parents never get mentioned, it’s not hard to assume she is orphaned or at the very least estranged from them, likely due to the disaster on her planet, leaving her only loved ones to be her pets and Dvorski. Losing one half of the only support system she has would be devastating for Topaz, which is likely why she brings Numby everywhere (also considering I don’t think she has mentioned him in the present, her pets might literally be the only things she has left). 

In her own home, Topaz collects a myriad of species from across the galaxy, as if to preserve them so at least even if they disappear on their home planets like hers did, they won’t go extinct entirely. 

Personally, I think her fixation around them cooperating and coexisting also reflects on how she feels about other people. If animals from completely different planets can get along, so can people. If she can convince creatures lacking in intellect work together, then she can do the same for ones that possess it, as ultimately Topaz is a massive people person, and believes what she’s doing is best for the galaxy. 

It’s almost like an experiment, with every little change to their ecosystems, every new organism added, every new abiotic feature taken or removed, Topaz can simulate what that might be like in reality. In a way she wants to take care of humans  like she does her pets, however instead of doing it through her own means, she uses the IPC and her power as a Stoneheart as a vector for that.

But why is she so confident? What makes Topaz wholeheartedly believe that what she’s doing really is the best for the galaxy, even if we know it isn’t perfect, even if only ~80% of the planets she works on are “saved”?

Well, like always, it’s her trauma again.

Imagine you’re living on a planet slowly dying due to its people’s greed and ignorance, in which everything you know and love is falling apart, and absolutely nothing can be done about it. But you don’t need to imagine this, I mean this is a situation we are all going through, as it’s already what’s happening to our planet right now, so perhaps instead picture what it might be like to live here in a few decades if nothing changes. How miserable that would be, how upset you would be at those in power, how disappointed you would be in humanity for doing Nothing when we had so much time and already knew the consequences almost a century in advance (seriously we have known about climate change since like the 50s). 

So you give up hope and accept your fate, accept that everything is going down in flames and the humanity, the planet you know and love is going to be snuffed out forever.

Only to get saved when an outside influence comes to your assistance. Sure, they make everyone sign a contract binding their lives to them, but you wouldn’t have a life to give had they not helped. Besides, you owe it to every other thing that shares your planet with you, every plant, every animal, every organism has been utterly wiped out by human greed, so it’s only fair to pay them back, right? 

I mean it’s your whole world at stake, so how could you say no? How could you deem their terms unreasonable if clearly your own people didn’t deserve the responsibility they had over their own lives? If their situations could only be fixed by giving it to others who could guide them? By giving it to the IPC? The Preservation ?

This is the mindset Topaz grew up on and has known for her entire life. She has seen humanity utterly fail itself and is unwilling to allow that fate to befall others. She doesn’t trust other people to make the right decisions, she doesn’t think they know what’s best for them, because the people she was closest to, her very own people couldn’t do that, so how could she ever expect strangers to do the same? 

How could she ever give the leaders of these planets the benefit of the doubt, knowing that doing that for her own almost caused it to be wiped out completely? How could she see them as anything more than the selfish bastards who ruined everything? How could her heart not ache thinking there were people on the planets she helps who would be doomed to experience the fate that almost fell upon her had Topaz not stepped in. 

How could Topaz feel guilty over the planets that don’t succeed? The ones she can’t save? As after all, she thinks they were lost from the get go? Does it eat her up at night knowing she failed them? That she couldn’t prevent the folly of humanity this time, so the next planet she must work harder, be more stubborn, push back even more, so nobody ever experiences what she did instead?

I mean being an indentured servant hasn’t been that bad for her, she’s succeeded in every endeavor she’s set her mind to after all. Sure, she’s entirely alone, and sure, if the IPC no longer deems her or her people useful, they could cast them aside once again. 

But Topaz is smart, she climbed to the top of the latter, she’s been praised to hell and back, she’s known far and wide through the department for her efficiency and drive, surely she hasn’t done anything wrong?

Sure she’s heard whispers, rumors and projects of other departments, of the deep dark secrets of the company she owes her life too. Inwardly she wonders how those who follow the Preservation would even be willing to commit such atrocities, inwardly she hopes they are just rumors. The IPC saved her planet, so how could they destroy others? 

The Preservation’s power will protect all, will save them from their miserable existences. Nothing else matters in the process, no dissenter understands this as like Topaz does. She will save them, she will protect them, even if it means she is detested by everyone she encounters, it must be done. All for the Amber Lord.

I find it very compelling how despite the fact that Topaz has become a Stoneheart, she is still dressed in the fashion of an average IPC worker. As if she is an equal part of the puzzle as them. Equally useful, equally disposable, equally biased, equally ignorant, and equally foolish. 

I mean, how could she be anyway else?

Her future

Belabog was just as important for Topaz’s development as she was to it.

She was wrong. 

As stubborn as Topaz is, she is not arrogant, and when Bronya proved to her that the people of Belabog can and would fight for their future, Topaz did everything in her power to help them.

As that’s what she really cares about, people. 

I think Topaz the determination she has in Bronya and it shook her to her core. 

Because so far, the only way Topaz has seen real progress is from the hands of the IPC.

But Bronya doesn’t give into them, and she puts everything she has into saving her people. Moreover, Jarilo-VI follows the Preservation as well, but they don’t agree with the IPC’s method of it. 

Is the IPC wrong?

That is the question Topaz is faced with, what is the thing she has to grapple with once she leaves the planet. When they demote her for not getting the debt back immediately, does Topaz wonder why they were so concerned about that in the first place? Shouldn’t they be happy that a world blessed by their very own deity managed to pick itself up without their help? Isn’t that the point?

Does she think back to her previous projects, the planets she saved and the planets she failed, and wonder how it would have worked out without the IPCs involvement? 

Did Aventurine teasing her about “failing” the Jarilo-VI project confuse her, because they were still saved like Topaz wanted them to be in the first place? How could they ever be considered a failure?

She believes debts and payback are what holds planets together, but it only ever seemed to cause Belabog to fall apart.

This is the first time Topaz really is forced to reevaluate her priorities, to question if her methods are justifiable, if she’s really doing the right thing.

Belabog didn’t break her, it didn’t topple her worldview and turn everything on its head, but it did plant some seeds of doubt in her brain, seeds of doubt that will grow into a new mindset. 

HOYOVERSE IF YOU ARE LISTENING HOYOVERSE, GIVE HER THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN + PRIORITY REEVALUATION ARC SHE DESERVES!!! DO THAT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS PLEASE.

Like you don’t get it you don’t get it what do you mean they set all this up and they might not go anywhere with it. Please hoyo please please please let her break away from the IPC’s condition and warped perspective, please let her truly follow the Preservation, please make her turn away from them, please make her an emanator of Preservation after she does this. Topaz stoneheart form, Topaz emanator form. Please please please let her save the crew let her save her subordinates let her save the people she failed previously let her save Aventurine and Ratio let her save Numby let her save herself.

Her instability 

I have already somewhat touched on this in point #3, but Topaz just cannot exist in the state she is now permanently.

Like a radioactive element she’s going to slowly decay over time until she ends up in a more stable form, and who that will hurt in the process, and how long that will take, we will have to see.

Hypocrisy is not something that can exist for long within characters, as due to its inherent contradictions, it messes with the way they are characterized until they are eventually forced to either eliminate it themselves or have the story do it for them.

Topaz is a hypocrite, desiring to do good and help people, but she ends up hurting them in the process. 

However, she has only just begun to realize this, and as more and more of the IPC’s atrocities get revealed, it gets harder and harder for both the audience and her herself to justify her behavior as we witness the extent of their crimes.

So how has she remained this stable for so long?

Well, the IPC has done everything in their power to keep her that way. From a young age she was involved with them, as they not only saved her planet, but her only known parental figure worked in the Strategic Investment Department. Soon, he recommended her to Jade due to Topaz’s exceptional talent, and presumably the other Stoneheart quickly picked her up and took her under her wing, causing Jelena to rise fast within the ranks and become one herself.

The IPC has been Topaz’s only frame of reference for how things should be done, her only perspective on write and wrong for so long. The only hints she gets of other points of view are that of the people who destroyed her planet, her own people. Unintentional or not, Topaz has been made to feel her whole life like the IPC are heroes and the common people are foolish and greedy and evil, and only now has that worldview started to crumble piece by piece.

Sure, we have always known how terrible the IPC was, a perception that has only gotten more and more true over time. However, Topaz is not the audience, and in universe the IPC presents themselves in a very positive light.

Think of the Myriad Celestia trailer and how it portrays the IPC; that’s quite literally how they want to be viewed in game, how they market themselves to other people. If Topaz has only ever known them to be that great, shining, progressive company who vows to follow the Preservation and improve the universe, how could even begin to criticize them? After all, she had never known any other perspective. Even when she did fail in the past, Topaz viewed it as a strike on her own record and an unfortunate situation in general, not as a demonstration of the IPC’s misdeeds. 

The IPC is good, the IPC saves people, the IPC follows the Preservation, Topaz is a good person, Topaz does good things, Topaz helps people, Topaz saves people, there is nothing wrong, there won’t ever be anything wrong.

Until Belabog

They don’t want to cooperate with the IPC. To roll over and let themselves be gutted for all they are worth. 

Well that’s fine, that’s happened before, at least that’s how Topaz justifies it to herself. She thinks of their massive debt, it must be paid after all, otherwise how could the galaxy remain stable?

But the weapons the IPC gave Jarilo-VI were never used in its defense. The thing they owe the IPC for never ended up being valuable. Belabog stood on its own, without the help of IPC in its defense.

They saved themselves.

As if it couldn’t get worse, they did it with the power of the Preservation.

And it didn’t come from the IPC, it came from them.

The Interastral Peace Corporation, who claim to be followers of the Preservation, standing against people who really do have their blessing and being proved wrong.

Do you know how that would feel to Topaz.

She’s wrong, and she’s proven wrong by the very deity she claims to follow, she believes she follows.

So Topaz makes her choice.

Stick with the IPC’s plan, or stand with the people of Belabog 

And she stands with them.

Topaz’s character never changes. I hate when people act like she switched up on them and changed her whole worldview, but in reality that was the most in character thing Topaz has ever done in her entire life.

Because she cares about people, so when the opportunity presents itself, she will always stand with them. 

This is the first time Topaz goes against the IPC’s wishes, and it won’t be the last.

She made her choice, she demonstrated who and what she truly cares about, and that will only drive a wedge between her and the IPC further and further until she snaps.

I find it funny how Topaz is a fire type character, when the song core to Belabog’s themes is “Wildfire” 

However, maybe it isn’t just about them. I think it’s about the Preservation, about what the game in general is trying to tell its players.

How fighting for your right to exist will hurt, but it is not impossible, and that pain will be the only way to enact change.

Well, Topaz,

you made your choice

go fight against your fate 

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed making this and I hope you at least understand why I think Topaz is such a compelling character. I need an arc centered on her in the future and if I don’t get one then trust me things will be dealt with. She will get her just desserts.

[sunsetkerr]

SAMMY'S GIRL (ii) | s.kerr

summary: MORE headcanons on your relationship with sam, read part one here.

pairing: fem!reader x sam kerr

notes: getting out lots of little headcanons because they're just so much fun to do. sammy's girl is my favourite of all my girls (completely bias, sorry) but if you want to see what other 'wags' are in my lil universes, check out my masterlists!! each 'wag' is also going to get their own tag, so check those out for little file facts, or ask questions/send thoughts so we can add to them all!! lots of love

as previously established, you’ve grown up with sam right

you’ve known her through every little phase and every weird obsession she’s ever had

you know her deepest secrets and she knows yours

its honestly quite jarring because you both know each other better than you know yourselves

you’re not at sporty as sam, only relaly dabbling in school netball for carnivals and stuff when they needed extra girls

but sam would try and include you as much as she could in all aspects of her career

if she was having a solo gym day, or just going on a walk

guess whos coming with!?!!!

its you!!!!!!

if she wants a swim at the beach for recovery

she is making sure that you tag along

(not just to see you in your bathers, its for recovery, have some professionalism please)

sam has spent half of her life without you and having to settle for seeing you through a screen

so once you’re in london with her permanently, she is making the most of that

she needs to shower? you’re passing her body wash

she’s hungry? shes making two servings and you’re eating with her

she wants a coffee? youre heading to your favourite spot

you are always around

and sam isn’t having it if you’re not

when she does have to go away?

youre getting texts from guro, erin and millie complaining about her

‘omg she wont shut up about you’

‘if sam doesn’t stop talking im gonna clock her y/n, i won’t be held responsible for my actions’

‘she’s at a new level of pathetic, please come get your girl’

but they understand, they love you too

the entirety of the chelsea squad know you’re at every game

they have a dedicated seat for you in the family and friends section

everyone is away that it’s your seat

millie’s fiancée wards people away from it

he once had to face the consequences of sitting in your seat

he wouldn’t wish an angry emma hayes or sam kerr upon anyone

but its not all about sam

she is just your biggest cheerleader

you were able to finish your degree online and were lucky enough that your credentials in australia carried over to the uk 

so you started working there

im picturing sports journalism???????? you were forced to be around sport your entire life that it kinda just became a natural thing

you were so well-informed on so many different sports it was crazy

sam loved plugging anything you were writing

you posted a new article? she’s sharing that shit on her instagram story

you won an award for a piece? she’s at the ceremony

you’re working overtime to get a project finished? she’s ordering you dinner to the office

as much as sam is a professional and very famous athlete

she’s still just sammy to you

and she’s never forgotten that

but to her, you are the best thing to ever happen to planet earth

and she makes sure that everyone knows

living with sam is lots of fun

you relish in all of the time you get to spend together

call it making up lost time

sure, she leaves her stuff everywhere

but you’re guilty of that too

you still hold each other accountable

‘sam you didn’t do the dishes’

‘okay and you didn’t hang out the laundry’

‘… fair enough’

making dinner together is just chaotic 

sam can only cook breakfast, she excels at smashed avocado

so she really lets you take the reins on dinners 

she succumbs to the sou-chef life

you force her to watch movies with you

she argues and says that tv shows are better

(even though you know she’s completely invested in whatever film you’ve chosen)

you have a little brother who just idolises sam

and he has since the day he was born

he was a classic accident child, a real surprise for your parents

but watching him grow up was just the best

hes the biggest women’s soccer fan you know

he’s up-to-date on all of the woso drama

definitely can tell you the entire timeline and drama of the mcfoord relationship 

so when he’s old enough

sam flies him over to the uk all the time

he just loves sam so much

he wears her jersey to every game, saying he doesn’t want anyone elses

(maybe maccas, but that’s a different story)

and sam is estatic to have him there

definitely walks out with him as her mascot on multiple occasions

sam isn’t super touchy feely in front of others

but when shes drunk, she can’t help it

she just wants to hold you and she doesn’t care who’s around to see it

sam really loves watching men at bars or in clubs try to hit on you

just to go and ruin their fun

it’s her favourite pastime really

sam’s extra sappy and clingy when tired

after a big night or a tiring game, she wants to curl up next to you and have you hold her until she falls asleep

sometimes it’s a foreign feeling for you

sam is almost always the big spoon

so you really drink in the feeling whenever she feels vulnerable enough to let you hold her for a change

sam is also extra attentive when you’re not feeling well

she’s so doting and always checking in on you

if shes around, you’re being waited on hand and foot

‘are you okay? do you have a temp?’

‘let me get you some water’

‘i don’t like the sound of that cough, y/n’

if she’s away for a game, your phone does not stop ringing

she’s always texting when she has a spare minute 

and if she has more than ten minutes to spare, she’s calling you to see how you are

sam just adores you

the fans adore you even more

the amount of tiktok edits of you and sam are crazy

the one of you in the stands after her goal against england in the world cup went viral

the way you jumped out of your seat and almost threw yourself over the barrier was on the news the next day

the clip continuing as sam ran over to your section, as you both shouted in celebration to each other

or the clips in the matildas doco series of the two of you

the lesbians went feral for that shit

everyone wants what you have

everyone wants you

you are that bitch

sam knows it too

and she’s not afraid to let people know just who you are

because you’re hers 

forever and always

[fluidstatick]

I dunno, man. (game changer finale talk under the cut)

I love the chemistry of Brennan, Jess, Grant, Ally, Rekha, Katie, and Zac. An excellent spread of comedy styles, and they're all tight enough friends that they can strategize with (and against) each other easily. Ally, hiding behind Brennan, who is hiding behind Rekha, just in a different context -- Truly only this crew could pull off something like that. The Landlord and Granma Sweetie are such perfect distillations of Jess and Zac's energy.

Names aside, I thought Jack and Jackson were too similar. Katie and Grant were both trying to be the straight (lol) man in the building, and for me, that meant they cancelled each other out.

Adjustable Side Table Walnut was absolutely robbed. Rekha had pitch perfect banter with everyone (except Steven), did an excellent job figuring everyone else out, and didn't give any hints until it was time to boot Brennan. She absolutely should have won, on merit of playing the game thoroughly and hilariously.

As for the ratfish? Well.

Listen, I never watched Adult Swim. I only know Tim and Eric by name. I've never watched anything they've done. It was only last monday when I learned that this guy is Tim:

And this guy is Eric:

I literally thought that he was some sort of amateur astrophysics youtuber (?) and that gif was from some video he made about quantum mechanics, or string theory or something. I blame the turtleneck.

Anyway, I digress. Just from watching this, I don't find Eric Wareheim funny. According to a few posts I've seen in the dropout tags, though, his brand is mostly awkward anti-comedy anyway? Nothing wrong with that, it's just not my speed. It felt strange to go ive him so much power over the game. Sam was probably going for an impartial judge, someone who doesn't know the cast personally and can decide who their favorite is without the cast members themselves influencing their decision. That being said, there are so many different people Sam could've gone with. I still think it shoulda been Sam Reigel, cosplaying as Sam Reich. "Look at me. I'm the Sam now! I've been present for the duration!" Could've been any number of LA based comedians, really.

Eric's choices felt completely left field. Ally started strong with their BLeeM gambit, sure, but I really think Adjustable Side Table Walnut deserved more shine. Katie winning solely for the art piece felt anticlimactic, especially because the painting felt like a Katie piece, not a Jack Stryker piece.

The cast not getting to meet Eric felt unfair, too, unless for some reason he had to leave before the final table was assembled and shot.

The cackle at the end didn't feel like a cliffhanger so much as a taunt. We get it, Samuel Dalton, you're still out here wrecking shop and our frantic theorizing on discord and reddit is all for naught.

anyway tl;dr - Ratfish 🫤. Justice For Side Table Walnut! MeDeCine.

[thescarletnargacuga]

TOY BOX

A BUTTONBLOSSOM/RAGAPOM/JESTERDOLL ONESHOT

A/N: I don't know which ship name is the most common, so I'm using all of them lol I may or may not have been drinking while writing this...

WARNING: none

~~~

"Today's adventure is THE TERRIFIC TREASURE TAKEAWAY!" Caine introduced his adventure of the day with the usual display of flare, completely oblivious to the reactions of the unimpressed six in front of him. "You're going on a scavenger hunt! It'll be three teams of two searching the grand Museum for TREASURES! Avoid security! Or they lock you up and your teammate has to get you out! If both of you are caught, you're out of the game! The last team standing, or the team with the most treasures at the end of the time limit, wins!"

Pomni spoke to Ragatha out of the side of her mouth. "Do the adventure titles always have to be illiterate?"

"No." Ragatha covered her mouth and whispered back. "I think that's just a Caine thing."

"Three teams? We ALL have to participate?" Zooble groaned.

"The game is more fun than way! Come on, Zooble! Don't you want to play a game with your friends?" Caine was practically begging. He could not force them to play if they absolutely did not want to, but he REALLY needed an even number of people for the game to work properly.

Zooble rolled their eyes and turned to leave, but then overheard Jax.

"Looks like Zooble is going to be as boring as always. Come on Gangle, you're my partner."

Zooble stopped and turned on their heels. They marched to Jax and shoved him away from Gangle. They crossed their arms and didn't move when Jax got back up and glared.

"Fine. I didn't really want to be stuck dealing with her whining anyway." Jax huffed and stretched his arm out to grab Kinger by the scruff of his robe. "Kinger and I got this."

"Hey, Pomni. Would you like to be my partner? ...for the game! The game." Ragatha awkwardly felt like she needed to clarify.

"Oh! Uhhh, yeah, sure." Pomni was glad Ragatha asked first.

"EXCELLENT!! I do love full party participation!" Caine snapped and a colorful portal opened. "Good luck everyone!"

The group walked through and found themselves in the grand main hall of an enormous museum. Around them the main hall separated into three wings and had three floors. Above them hung a banner that read WELCOME TO ESCHER'S MUSEUM OF ODDITIES. A full T-Rex fossil was having tea with a wax figure of Abraham Lincoln on a display in the center of the room. Various random items were in display cases, many of them only vaguely resembling artifacts and art pieces.

Pomni nervously looks around. "Uh, any ideas as to what these TREASURES look like?"

"No clue. I'm more worried about this SECURITY Caine was talking about. His ideas of enforcement came be a bit...scary. BUT we won't know until we try taking something." Ragatha tapped the glass around a weird mask looking object.

"...it just occurred to me that Caine has literally sent us to rob a museum." Pomni thought out loud as she backed up against a wall, feeling exposed in the large liminal space.

"This is supposed to be a competition right? Outta my way!" Jax pushed Ragatha aside, into Pomni.

Ragatha braced herself against the wall, arm on either side of Pomni.

Pomni flushed, seeing Ragatha up close and personal always made her heart flutter but they've never been this close. She stared up into Ragatha's smiling, apologetic face. Her one eye soft on her.

"Hey..." Ragatha giggled.

"...hey." Pomni delayed in answering, but managed a smile.

Neither of them moved. They just stood their. Awkwardly. Neither wanting to tell the other to move, because what if that was rude?

Jax yeeted the glass case Ragatha had tapped and grabbed the mask. It turned into a cloud of sparkles and a +1 popped up before disappearing. "Ha! I knew it! The WHOLE museum is up for grabs!" He jumped on the platform with the dino and president tea display and tried removing Abe's head.

The whole room went red. INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!

"Oh noooo..." Gangle whimpered.

Massive drones came out of the walls and flew towards Jax. "Oop, time to go." He bugs bunny-ed his ass out the room as fast as he could, three drones on his heels. One drone shot a laser at Kinger and he disappeared. The girls screamed.

"Come on!" Pomni took Ragatha by the hand and ran. The maze like layout of the museum discombobulated those who could get away. Lefts was right, down was up. Every door hit a stairwell and every stairwell looped in on itself. At one point, they were on the ceiling. "What kind of place IS this!?"

Ragatha tried to keep up but Pomni was practically dragging her. "Pomni! The stai-" She tripped, fell over apomni and they both rolled and bounced down a countless flight of stairs. Ragatha wrapped her body around Pomni in an attempt to protect her from the fall, even though it felt like rolling down a bouncy castle.

They eventually stopped when they slammed through a closed door.

Ragatha still had a hold of Pomni, they laid side by side. "Are you alright?"

"Uhhhhh....I think so." Pomni had dizzy swirls in her eyes.

Ragatha couldn't help but snicker. It was a funny look on Pomni. "Good. Because that was actually kind of fun."

Pomni shook the swirls away. "Seriously? Falling down the stairs is your idea of fun?"

"Oh, well, no, not real stairs but it was...uh...never mind. I'm just glad you're okay." Ragatha let go and they both got up.

They saw no way out other than the door they knocked off its hinges. Colorful tiles covered the floor, small tables sat in neat little rows, and there was a large play area.

"Where are we?" Pomni asked, looking around.

"I don't know. A classroom?"

"This place doesn't make any sense."

"It wouldn't be one of Caine's creations if it did." Ragatha said with an irey lilt in her voice. "In fact, this actually isn't the weirdest place I've ever seen. I wouldn't even put it in the top five."

Pomni gaped. "Say what?"

"Yeah, you weren't here for the time he tried to make us all fly like him and Jax ended up on the underside of the sun."

Pomni smiled. "He did?"

"Oh yeah, he had to tap dance the heat off his feet until Caine figured out how to turn gravity back on. Took like an hour."

Pomni started to laugh. "It took him THAT long?"

Ragatha laughed with her. "Yeah! If you ask me, I think he did it on purpose." She loved hearing Pomni laugh, it was so rare.

"Wait, so is that the weirdest?"

"Oh, no. The absolute weirdest had to be Derby Day." Ragatha leaned against an oversized toy box. "Derby Day was when Gangle had to-"

The toy box opened, swallowed Ragatha whole, then slammed shut.

"Ah! Ragatha!" Pomni went to open the box and she too was magically pulled inside. She fell and fell and fell into an endless pit of vibrate color. Ragatha was just below her. "Ragatha!!"

"Pomni!!" She cried out as she tumbled through the air.

Pomni streamlined herself to fall faster and caught up with Ragatha. She tried to get Ragatha's hand but the ragdoll was living up to her namesake and accidentally kicked Pomni in the face. They both spun and free fell into a pile of pillows. They laid there for moment to collect themselves.

"What. The actual. [%$!#]." Pomni mumbled into a plush pillow.

"I take it back. This IS really weird." Ragatha moaned.

"...top five?"

"Top three."

Pomni sat up and didn't bother checking her new surroundings. It didn't matter where they were, they'd probably end up somewhere else in a minute anyway. Ragatha rolled over and stared at the new sky. She couldn't see the top, it was an abyss of kaleidoscopic color. "You know...for all the weirdness...I am grateful for one thing."

"What's that?"

"You."

Pomni jerked her head up. "What?"

"Yeah... I'm probably saying this because it doesn't matter if I do... But I enjoy your company."

"Oh...I...I didn't think anyone would. I'm not exactly...fun. And don't say you don't matter. If there's one thing in this digital scape, that actually does matter, it's our feelings. It's what makes us human." Pomni rolled over to join Ragatha looking at the weird sky. "A-and you've been wonderful to be around, too. I'm sorry I don't really say it. I tend to get lost in my own head."

"I understand. This place will do that to you." Ragatha paused, considering if she should say what she wanted to say next. "I'm... Grateful for one other thing today."

"What's that?"

"I got to hug you."

Pomni turned her head to Ragatha. They smiled at each other.

Ragatha continued. "I- I know you're not the biggest fan of touch so...the fact that you didn't freak out after we fell down the stairs-"

"Ragatha, I wouldn't freak out on you. Not for that. Sure, touch isn't really my thing but...I make a small exception for you."

"Would it be okay...if we hugged again?" Ragatha asked with a deep blush across her cheeks.

Pomni scooted closer. "Yeah."

They locked into a warm embrace. It was the most human thing either one of them had felt in a long time. Pomni felt anchored, her mind focused on only the here and now. No what ifs and maybes. It was bliss.

Ragatha felt a sense of comfort and connection that she thought she'd never get to feel again. In this place...it was getting hard to feel anything but melancholy.

As they hugged the pillows shifted. They tried to get up but they both slipped in the surface vertically against one another. It was like falling into quicksand.

"Great....were are we going now?" Pomni held on around Ragatha's neck.

"I don't know, but we're going together. That's all that matters to me." Ragatha held tight as they sunk further and further into the unknown.

[bonniebird]

Hermione Granger x Male!Reader

Requested by Anon

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Request: Anonymous asked: “Hey! My best friend is in Slytherin.” Hermione Granger, Male Reader.

Hermione sighed as she heard Fred and George approaching before she saw them through the crowd of people gathered around them. She continued reading her book as they shouted and wound everyone up. None of the other houses had joined the Gryffindors in the great hall. 

“We all know it was the Slytherin’s that did it!” George finished as he approached Hermione.

“Hey! My best friend is in Slytherin.” Hermione snapped out and glared up at him. Fred scurried to her other side and she knew that they were about to unleash their infuriating synchronicity. She would be able to keep up with them of course. It was just irritating to deal with when she’d finally reached the interesting part of her book.

“A friend!”

“A best friend.” They said one after the other in their rhythmic way.

“Yes. I have a best friend who is in Slytherin. He happens to be excellent at charms and his family has a library of rare wizarding books. He lends them to me sometimes. All right.” Hermione realised that the more information she gave was more fuel for the proverbial fire so she refused to elaborate further but the damage was done.

“My, my. Perhaps you were in on the mishap! Clever Hermione.”

“And her mysterious best friend from Slytherin.”

“All those rare books to study.” 

“Perhaps you’re the culprit!” 

“Firstly, that is simply ridiculous. Secondly, I am done talking to you.” Hermione snapped and lifted her book high in front of her face. It did little to shield her from the twins' stares or the feeling of being observed by their flock of enamoured congregation.

“You know I have read several of Harry’s detective books. Those ones he likes with that… detective... ”

“Hmmm. I know the one. Where the guilty party clams up and waits for a representative. You think this could be something similar?”

“I do.”

“So do I.”

“I agree.”

“As do I!” 

“Excellent.”

“Indeed.”

A throat cleared and Hermione lowered her book that she had raised in front of her face, hoping against all odds, that Professor McGonagall was back early from checking the grounds with the other teachers and gathering the other houses. 

“(Y/N).” She said rather awkwardly. Fred and Geroge’s rambling attempt to pester her was silenced immediately followed by their heads whipping to you as you said hello and then whipped back to Hermione when she said hello back as if they were observing a rather intense if not awkward game of tennis.

“I suspect they know each other.” Fred whispered loudly to George.

“Seems to be the case. Make a note of it Fred.” George said and Fred nodded once firmly and pretended to write in the air on an invisible notepad before turning his attention back to you and Hermione.

“I wanted to apologise for making you late this afternoon. You are remarkably skilled…” This comment from you was followed by a jovial Ohhing sound from the twins as if you had just confessed to the spell that had knocked down a considerable portion of the southwest part of the school which was the cause of the whole school coming to a stand still. The sound was followed by a few mutterings of incorrect muggle legalities that neither twin really understood but thought sounded impressive. “Do you two mind?”

“No.”

“Not at all. Please carry on.”

“If I had not been struggling with my spell you might have been able to help with whatever happened. I appreciate you taking the time to help me. I know that it must have taken some convincing to have the professor agree to let us practise in her room.” You muttered out and felt rather embarrassed for the audience.

“I am more than happy to help a fellow philomath… A person who enjoys learning.” Hermione leaned to the side and whispered the last part to the twins who hummed as if she’d revealed great mystery and George gestured for her to go on. “Besides it gives us both a perfect alibi which is why I imagine you were sent here before the other Slytherins. Along with those six Hufflepuffs and eleven Ravenclaw. Who also have alibis.” Hermione slowed her words and lowered her tone as her face relaxed to reveal her irritation. Fred and George both winced and jumped up when she slowly turned to them.

“Well. Seems you have an alibi.” George said.

“As far as we can see. It couldn’t have been you. Which is odd because it’s usually you and your lot when it’s not us.” Fred muttered and glanced at George who nodded.

“Well, I admit. Turning all the drinks into jelly was us. But this wasn’t. At least it wasn’t me.” You answered and they both quickly forgot their imaginary detective agency and congratulated you on being part of the group that had turned every drink in the great hall into jelly during the Halloween feast the year before.

“I’m sorry.” Hermione said when the twins had hurried off to spread the word of your great prank.

“It’s fine. I imagine everyone is just scared.” You muttered and smiled when Hermione nodded.

“At least we know how to defend ourselves.” She muttered and moved over in her spot on one of the benches to allow you to sit next to her.

“Do you think we’ll need to? I thought Dumbledore thought it was just a spell gone wrong. Or a potion… one of the Hufflepuffs was talking about it.” You asked, accepting the seat and looking over the cover of the book she was reading before she flipped the book open again to the page she had marked with her thumb.

“I hope not.” She muttered. She had turned her attention back to the book which made you smile when you realised that no one else would be able to pull her attention away for the next few chapters at least.

Tags:

@decadentrebelkitten @samhainrain @moonmaidwn1996 @gillybear17 @ravennoore14 @the-caravello-post @killing-gremlin @aegonandaemondtargaryenslut18 @lchufflepuffcorn @geekyandgay98 @savagemickey03 @evattude @kaitieskidmore1 @sabrinasstar @fatherfigured @emsmultiverse @blxckdesire

[wishful-thinking64]

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Rewrite Ideas #02

Hello! Hello! I've come to bring rewrite ideas for both shows once again! People seemed to like the first one and I like coming up with story ideas with and for practically everyone so here are seven more rewrite ideas for Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss! ______

#01.) Have Alastor's magic sigils be radio symbols over Vodou symbols as it not only makes way more sense with Alastor being the Radio Demon but to not play into a harmful stereotype about a real life religion.

#02.) On the topic of religion, don't be afraid to add a few more religious figures from the Bible or the Torah! As long as you're being mindful about the material you're pulling from, I really don't see this as much of an issue. People make their own spin on angels, demons, Jesus, and God all the time! But for once, this is where Viv gets cold feet even though she already has Adam & Eve there but not their two main children? Or the reason behind why their parents and everything else exists?? Seriously Viv??? #03.) In any case, if you do add the first two siblings then I suggest having Cain possibly work at the Hotel as some kind of repentance considering he's both the first real Sinner and for the fact that he feels guilt over killing his little brother. #04.) Alright, now for some ideas for Helluva Boss! I feel like we've all grown tired of seeing the, "Two people arranged in a loveless marriage," trope with how often it's been appearing and HB is no stranger to this trope and tries to use it as a way to rectify Stolas' affair with Blitzo.

I mentioned this in my third One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion series but if you want to stick loosely to HB's canon then you'd probably be better off with making Stella a surrogate mother as we still haven't seen her interact with Octavia and there was no real point in having Stolas marry Stella if all he needed to do was secure an heir. Besides I'm pretty sure that's what Paimon did in order to get Stolas as we see no signs that he had a mom growing up with how he was raised by a butler. On the contrary, should you wish to keep Stella as Stolas' wife, I'd recommend going the path not taken. By which I mean, have Stella and Stolas marry because, at one point, they did genuinely love each other but over the years that love dwindled and eventually faded out. Even though they'd be better off parting ways they choose to stay together as Great Horned Owls (the owl that the actual Stolas from the actual Ars Goetia seems to be based off of) and Snow Geese (I refuse to believe she's a swan especially since her brother has ice powers and lives in an ice castle) typically mate for life. From here, I'd have Octavia not be born out of the "necessity" of an heir but rather as a last ditch effort to see if their relationship can be rekindled as many couples in real life think that having a child or children will "fix" their relationship. #05.) Sorry for getting somewhat depressing with that last bit. To make up for it, write a fun chapter about I.M.P. having fun by rewriting Episode #05 of Season #01, The Harvest Moon Festival! A lot of people like The Harvest Moon Festival as it is though the majority agrees that it should've been a Millie centric episode. So have her be the reason they go to the Harvest Moon Festival over Stolas, show her competing in the Pain Games, and have her stand up for her husband due to having enough of her family constantly shit talking him. Overall, have Millie excel at being the bad ass girlboss that HB makes her out to be! #06.) Give Octavia some type of found family or friend group. Have her attend a prestigious private school (I doubt Stella will have her daughter attend a regular public high school) and have her become friends with the school's outcasts. The reason this group could be outcasts is because they actually earned their right to be there by getting good grades while most of the students are probably the offspring of Hell's high ranking officials. But seriously, this girl needs (and deserves) a support system STAT! #07.) Properly explain what it takes to get a soul into Heaven. I don't care if you explain this via The Ten Commandments, trusting that Jesus died for humanity's sins, or by using another set of rules from a different religion that isn't Christianity just be certain that your explanation is clear and concise and makes sense for what you have already pre-established for your rewrite. Don't do what the HH series did by saying, "Yeah, we don't know," because that is genuinely how you lose an audience. You can't have the ENTIRE premise of the show being about wanting Sinners to get into Heaven when HEAVEN doesn't even know what gets a soul there in the first place! ______ Well, those are all of the ideas I've got for now! See ya guys!

[inspired-by-the-music]

smile: rewritten

pairing: jaemin x reader featuring: jisung as the reader's brother; the other members of nct dream synopsis: before even meeting him, y/n decides that she hates her brother's friend. nobody yells at jisung and gets away with it! as she grows distant from her buzzkill boyfriend, y/n comes to realize that jaemin can't be that bad. nobody who makes people smile like does can be that bad. warning: reader's boyfriend is an awful jerk note: this is a rewrite of a fic that is about three years old. available on: tumblr, wattpad taglist: @niinjo

“I’m so proud of you, Jisung!” You cooed when you learned that your baby brother earned his first part-time job. 

Jisung mumbled, “Ah, cut it out.” He couldn’t fight his smile as he squirmed to escape your efforts to pinch his rosy cheeks. “I don’t act like this when you make the honor roll at your college!”

“That’s because my academic excellence has become expected, almost unimpressive,” you joked confidently. You almost choked on laughter when Jisung groaned at your mock arrogance. “But you—” you poked his arm— “you’ve always been a precious baby, so it’s weird to watch you step into the adult world.”

Long ago, Jisung accepted that he would always be a baby in your eyes. He didn’t waste his breath arguing that he was kind of, basically, technically an adult. He blinked at you and rested his head against the couch. “I don’t think about it like that. It’s just a job at the cafe, and I’m only doing it because my friends are.”

Spending time with Jisung was refreshing because his simple, youthful outlook challenged your habit of overanalyzing. That aspect of your relationship hadn’t changed since you enrolled in the local university. Jisung was still very much your baby brother. Yet, as he laid back and stretched his legs over your lap and his socked feet dangled off the arm of the couch, you realized that he was growing up. He was growing up, and he didn’t think anything about it. Meanwhile, you mourned every second of lost youth. To Jisung, the next steps in life were an exciting adventure with his friends.

What would it be like, you wondered enviously, to be like Jisung? 

You wouldn’t ask. Even if you did, Jisung wouldn’t have known how to answer. 

He playfully wiggled his toes into your ribs, and you laughed while swatting at his legs. A voice sounded through his headset. The words were unintelligible, but the tone was unmistakably annoyed. They prompted Jisung to sit upright, plant his feet on the carpeted floor, and unpause his video game. Although his gaze was fixed on the flashing screen, he covered only one ear with the headset. 

He heard you ask, “Who is that?”

“Jaemin,” Jisung whispered out of the side of his mouth and covered the microphone so his friend wouldn’t hear. 

Because he was playing with just one hand, Jisung caused his team to lose. The loss was evident from the crimson text— “YOU LOSE”—  filling the black screen, the slackjawed frown on Jisung’s face, and especially from the shrieks breaking through the headset. 

Jisung chanted, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” but the shrieks rang on. 

Your face flushed. “Still Jaemin?”

Jisung’s answer with a nod. He didn’t bother to push away the bangs that had fallen into his eyes. 

“What is he even saying?” You hissed. 

“Nothing really,” Jisung shrugged away from your question. 

You were overprotective of Jisung; you wouldn’t deny that. His willingness to defend his buddy despite his flaring temper fuelled your frustration. Maybe, you thought later, you shouldn’t have disliked that Jaemin kid without having met him.

Rolling your eyes, you demanded, “Tell him that it’s just a game. You can play again until you win.”

Jisung shook his head and calmly explained, “That’s the worst thing to say to a raging gamer, Y/N—”

“Are you talking to a girl?” Jaemin roared. “Is that why we lost the tournament? Because you’re flirting with a girl?”

Sensing that you were reaching to snatch the headset to rival Jaemin’s temper, Jisung stood tall on the couch so you couldn’t reach his head no matter how hard you stretched. He huffed at Jaemin, “I’m talking to my sister, not flirting, and I have to go!” He disconnected the headset and turned the game off before you could say anything to threaten his friendship with Jaemin. 

You slumped down on the cushion. “You must have made some really nice friends while I’ve been busy busting my butt at school.”

Jisung swore, “He is nice!” He stepped off the couch. Frowning as you rolled your eyes again, he grumbled, “There’s no point in talking when people are too angry to listen.” He sulked to his bedroom, embarrassed by his scoldings. 

As he walked away, you resolved to comfort him later after tensions died down. 

. . . 

Because you were determined to be a kind person, you surrounded yourself with people who didn’t boil your blood. So, to tolerate Jaemin, which was as close as you could get to liking him the way Jisung wanted, you had to maintain a safe distance. For the sake of peace, Jaemin had to remain a faceless name spoken into Jisung’s headset. You tried not to roll your eyes whenever you heard his name. 

Despite what anyone says, you didn’t walk into the cafe that night with the intention of meeting Jaemin. In fact, had you known that he was the friend Jisung followed into the workforce, you wouldn’t have agreed to pick your brother up after his shift. That was childish. Since you were already in town after your last class, it only made sense that you should be the one to wait for him in the parking lot. 

You were patient at first. Then, minutes passed, and you had to turn the car off to save gas. The almost-summer heat baked the car until you lost all self-control. Had you rushed into the air-conditioned cafe sooner, you might have missed Jaemin’slecture. Your temper wouldn’t have been pushed past its boiling point.

The clock hanging on the cafe wall warned that you had wasted an hour waiting on Jisung. He was still scrubbing tables.

You couldn’t have recognized Jaemin by his neatly combed hair or sparkling smile. You knew him by the frustrated tone he used to scold Jisung. Without looking up from the register, he complained, “You made too many stupid mistakes today, Jisung! I can forgive you for forgetting the day’s special once or twice. But you can’t forget every time you talk to a customer! If you can’t be bothered to memorize something so simple—”

“Ahem.” The boys gawked at you with wide eyes when you cleared your throat. 

“— you can always just look at this chalkboard,” Jaemin concluded softly pointing at an overheard sign that boasted: ‘Today’s Special: Green Tea Latte.’

Jaemin’s bug-eyed stare provoked you to quip, “Is that all you do—for fun and for work? Yell at Jisung?”

“Huh?” Jaemin’s jaw dropped in an innocent schoolboy expression that might have been adorable if he hadn’t already landed on your bad side. 

This was your biggest fault: you put too much weight into first impressions. You were quick to make up your mind about people; you were slow to reconsider. Of course, you could apologize after realizing that you had misjudged somebody. You even had a consistent record of forgiving inexcusable offenses against yourself. What you couldn’t forgive or forget were attacks against Jisung, and you had just witnessed Jaemin’s second strike. 

Jisung resumed wiping the table and acted as the mediator between your wrath and Jaemin’s confusion. He asked you, “What are you doing here?

You didn’t expect Jisung to raise his voice to defend himself from Jaemin’s scolding. He was passive in friendship, and he was subordinate to Jaemin in the workplace hierarchy. You were proud of your brother’s temperament. Proud and, in the cafe in the middle of the night, annoyed.

“Mom and Dad asked me to drive you home after your shift,” you answered. “Your shift was supposed to end over an hour ago.”

Jisung’s lips rounded into a tiny ‘o.’ He turned to Jaemin for confirmation of the time. 

Jaemin didn’t notice, though. He was quietly studying you with narrowed eyes. “You’re Jisung’s sister?”

“Yeah,” you nodded stiffly. “I’m the reason you lost your little video game tournament.”

Your words were intended as a blunt weapon, but Jaemin laughed. His smile was almost blinding as he swept his hair out of his face with slender coffee-stained fingers. “Oh yeah. Well, don’t sweat that. I forgive ya!”

Before you could explain that you weren’t apologizing, that neither you nor Jisung needed to beg for forgiveness, Jaemin winked. “As long as you go on a date with me!”

You imagined your reaction looked a lot like Jisung’s: hanging jaws and wide-eyed blinking. Objectively, it was flattering that someone as attractive as Jaemin—excluding his temper—would flirt with you even as a mindless pastime. Even if Jaemin hadn’t made two terrible first impressions, even if he wasn’t one of Jisung’s buddies, even if your pride would allow you to give in to his charms, one dreadful fact remained: 

“I have a boyfriend.”  

On cue, Jisung rolled his eyes. Grinding his teeth, he dropped his gaze on the table. 

“Oh.” Jaemin’s shoulders fell, but his smile barely faltered. His smile, you realized, wasn’t an expression of happiness. His lips were almost permanently set in a toothy grin, even if it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

That must be inconvenient, you thought. Does he smile even when he’s sad? Or when he’s angry? 

When Jaemin looked up at Jisung, his eyes crinkled fondly. All traces of past frustration had vanished. “Goodnight, Jisung. I’ll see ya tomorrow!”

Slowing his movements to a near-complete stop, Jisung started, “But I’m not finished—”

Jaemin shot him a pointed look. As quickly as it had calmed, his temper flared. “Don’t keep your sister waiting. I’ll close up.”

As you opened your mouth to thank Jaemin, or apologize for your impatience, or to offer to help clean or at least quietly wait for them to finish, your phone rang. Your mother was calling probably to ask why you and Jisung weren’t home yet.

“Come on,” you urged Jisung gently after silencing your ringer. “We should go. Mom is worried.”

Jisung looked at Jaemin once more for permission. After Jaemin nodded, Jisung untied his apron and folded it on the counter. “Thanks. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

Had Jisung been less mature, he would have teased you for abandoning your decision to dislike Jaemin after your brief first meeting. Instead, he focused on returning your mother’s call to recount his day. At school, he aced one of his finals. On his first day at work, Jaemin taught him how to make all kinds of coffee and pastries while defending him from fussy customers. 

Silence fell over the car after Jisung ended the call. You drummed your thumbs on the steering wheel, anticipating that he must have saved some exciting story for your ears only, just as he always had. But no sound came from the passenger seat. 

Your heart sank. You couldn’t blame him for being mad or embarrassed by you. Not only had you treated him like a defenseless infant, as always; you were also rude to his friend. 

Yes, you had walked in on Jaemin lecturing Jisung. At least Jaemin had been considerate enough to wait until the cafe was empty to voice his criticisms. All day, while you were too busy at school to do it yourself, Jaemin acted as Jisung’s guardian and protector. And no, you hadn’t forgotten that Jaemin screamed at Jisung and made his face flush because of a stupid video game, but it was clear from watching their interactions and from hearing how proudly Jisung talked about him that they held no grudges. Who were you, then, to hold on to one on Jisung’s behalf? 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered. An apologetic glance over at the passenger seat revealed that Jising had fallen fast asleep. His head rested against the window, and his mouth hung agape. Faint snores filled the silence. 

As you decided to let him sleep, Jisung jolted awake. His face almost crashed into the dashboard. 

“Alright there, partner?” You hummed like you used to in the days when you played Toy Story with him from dusk until dawn. 

“Yeah.” Jisung nodded groggily as he settled back and reclined his seat. “Did you say something while I was sleeping, partner?”

Again, you readied your apology, but you hesitated to deliver it. You sensed Jisung’s smile like gentle sun rays illuminating your skin. He wasn’t upset. He didn’t expect an apology. Yet, you felt you owed him one anyway. 

He asked, “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. Although you were sorry, you didn’t have to express that with a long-winded speech he wouldn’t understand. You could express it instead through actions. You could express it through jokes. 

“I said Jaemin is a real cutie.” Without glancing away from the road, you winked. 

You expected Jisung to gag. Who wants to hear their sister call their friend cute? Surprisingly, he simply warned, “You have a boyfriend, remember?” Unsurprisingly, he choked around the word ‘boyfriend.’

“Why don’t you like him?” You asked. “My boyfriend, I mean?”

Had you looked over, you would have seen Jisung cross his arms and turn his gaze out the window. He asked, “Why do you like him?”

Jisung rarely disliked anyone. His disapproval of your boyfriend made you wary of the romance—if you could even call it a romance. After months of back and forth, he finally decided that you could call him your boyfriend. Because you spent so much time and energy chasing that ideal, the half-formed thought of being with him, you couldn’t let it go.

You should have been able to answer Jisung’s question. It was a dooming sign, your inability to name one reason why you liked your boyfriend. Rather than heeding the sign, however, you clutched the wool over your eyes and turned the radio on. 

. . . 

“Believe it or not, babe, I’d like to have one date that’s not about babysitting your little brother,” your boyfriend said through a mouthful of rice.

Rejection was an almost daily occurrence, but you reddened nonetheless. “First of all, my brother isn’t that young.” Yes, to you, Jisung was a precious baby, but you had to deny that to defend him from your boyfriend’s criticism. “Second of all, it’s not a date. I told Jisung I would take him and his friends to the arcade if he got good grades on all his exams. I’m inviting you because I thought it would be fun.”

That was a lie. You knew that your boyfriend wouldn’t have fun at the arcade. You invited him because that’s what a good girlfriend would do. Maybe you thought that acting like a better girlfriend would make him act like a better boyfriend. Maybe disappointment was worth the risk because it could be grave enough to sever the delicate relationship.

He had stopped listening, opting instead to scroll through his phone. “Whatever.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Whatever.” 

Although you would be an hour early to class, you packed your bag and raced out of the cafeteria. Had you been thinking more clearly—had you been able to breathe comfortably enough to think around him at all—you would have tried again to break up with him. It wasn’t a mystery why Jisung hated him, you admitted as you dashed through the hallway. He treated everything you said like an inconvenience. He was only momentarily satisfied if your attention was solely fixed on them. You couldn’t share your attention with your friends or even your own brother.

Then, he could ignore you for days, leaving you to wonder what you had done to inflict the latest deafening silence. When you would swallow your dwindling pride to approach him, he would reject your advances because they weren’t intimate enough. They weren’t physical enough. They weren’t enough.

You were trapped in a cycle with no clear beginning or end. As you sat with your back pressed against the wall and your knees drawn up to your chest, you couldn’t ignore this fact: you were miserable. Rather than finding the strength to end the relationship, instead of embracing the uncertainty of freedom, you prayed that he would let you go. If he was so uninterested in you, why couldn’t he just walk away?

The answer was obvious. Nobody ever liked him before you did. By clinging to you, even if it meant breaking you, he could build an illusion of self-worth. By putting you down, making you beg for acknowledgment, he could stand over somebody. Because you walked into this situation by pining after somebody who never wanted you, you started to believe that you deserved to be unhappy. 

As students flooded out of the classroom and into the hall, you wiped at your eyes with ice-cold hands. You weren’t crying; you were trying to wipe the tired dark circles from your face. 

On their way out of a classroom, someone called your name.

It was Jaemin. Beaming, he waved both hands excitedly like he was greeting an old friend—like you hadn’t loathed him before meeting him.

The dread your boyfriend caused and the guilt of initially disliking Jaemin faded when Jaemin sat next to you. He slung his yellow backpack onto the floor. He stretched his arm along the back of the bench. When his fingers brushed against your shoulder, you raised your eyebrows. He said, “I gotta leave room for others!”

“Right.” You nodded dubiously. “What are you doing here, Jaemin?”

“Ouch, icy.” He winced, grinning. “Just give me a chance, and I’ll prove that I’m worthy of sitting with you!”

“I don’t doubt it.” He blushed at your honest attempt at flattery, and you continued, “But that’s not what I meant. Why are you doing here at my school?”

Jaemin shrugged. “It’s not just your school.”

Your eyes widened. “You go to school here?” He nodded. “Really? I could have sworn you went to school with Jisung.”

“Nope.” Jaemin popped the ‘p’ proudly. “I hope you didn’t reject me just because you thought I was too young!” You laughed, and he winked. “It’s okay if you did. I’ll give you another chance to date me.” 

You shook your head, almost in a futile attempt to convince yourself that Jaemin’s smile didn’t make your heart flutter.

“Just playing.” He dropped the arm resting behind your shoulders to act as a barrier between your bodies. “Jisung said you really have a boyfriend, so I probably shouldn’t flirt with you.” 

You blurted, “He probably wouldn’t mind.” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but you couldn’t pull them out of the air.

“Who?” Curious, Jaemin tilted his head. “Jisung or your boyfriend?” You didn’t answer, so he tried another question: “Would you mind?”

Eager to escape, you flinched off of the bench. “Sorry, Jaemin. I have to get to class.” 

As much as you loathed your boyfriend, as much as you were starting to like Jaemin, outright flirting wasn’t right. You didn’t need to add anything else to your list of things to overanalyze.

You couldn’t control what Jaemin did. He dove to reach your hand. He didn’t seem to care that you had a boyfriend. He probably didn’t have to care. The only heart he was responsible for was his own.

His touch was undeterred by your gasp. Because you didn’t yank your hand from his grasp, Jaemin smiled as he asked, “You’re going to the arcade with us this weekend, right?”

Touching somebody’s hand shouldn’t have been a big deal, but Jaemin’s touch took your breath away. “Oh, are you going too?” Jaemin nodded. He maintained eye contact, and your thoughts were clouded. “I’ll be there. Who do you think is paying for all the tokens and pizza?”

“Huh?” Surprised, Jaemin dropped your hand. You could breathe again. His eyes narrowed. “Not you. I’ll pay.”

You shook your head. “Jisung is my brother, and I promised to take him and his friends—”

“Do you know  how many people he invited?” When you shook your head, Jaemin counted on his hand, “Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Chenle, and me. Excluding me because I’m not letting you pay my way—and including Jisung, that’s five boys you’re promising to pay for. Five boys—” he wiggled his fingers menacingly—“who live on pizza and games.”

Forcing your arms through the straps of your backpack, you chuckled at his dramatic delivery. You asked, “If they’re so expensive, why are you so determined to pay for them yourself?”

He started, “Because—”

Your alarm sounded to signal that your class would start soon. “I have to go to class, Jaemin, so we’ll have to bicker about this later.”

As you dismissed the alarm, Jaemin yanked your phone away. “Here. I’ll give you my number.” His eyes twinkled when they met yours. A corner of his lips formed a half-smile as he clarified, “Just so we can discuss this payment business. Don’t get any funny ideas.”

. . . 

Although you promised Jisung that you wouldn’t waste the night by waiting for you boyfriend, you didn’t keep your word. You sat alone at a table in the food court and stared at the door for about half an hour after Jisung ran into the arcade with his friends. Were you hoping that your boyfriend would show up? Not really. You didn’t want to play skeeball with him or anything. You just wanted, needed, for somebody to break the silence. After you last left him in the cafeteria, he left your texts unanswered. There was no reason to think he had changed his mind about coming to the arcade. 

He’s not coming, you told yourself. Again, always, you were caught between relief and anxiety. Your sweaty palms clutched the edges of your seat. I’ll give him ten more minutes. After that, I’m having fun with or without him. 

But you knew it was impossible to have fun with him. That truth was more blatant when Jaemin plopped into the chair next to you. 

“I gave the children money to buy pizza,” he boasted in a raspy voice to emulate old age, “per our agreement.”

That was the compromise reached via texts: Jaemin would pay for food, and you would pay for arcade access. 

Jaemin’s sparkling smile dimmed as he noticed how you nervously eyed the door and your phone. “Are you expecting someone?” You hesitated to respond, and he warned, “The kids will be here any minute. If you tell me what’s bothering you, we can work through it while we still have some privacy.”

His earnest stare prompted you to blurt, “My boyfriend.” Noting Jaemin’s frown, you squirmed through your stresses. “I invited him— who knows why?— and he said that he wanted to have a date without my brother tagging along. So, obviously, I stormed off. And we haven’t talked in two days, which isn’t that long, but I don’t know what to say to fix things. And he isn’t even here, and—”

Jaemin blinked like Jisung always did when your worries bubbled out of your mouth, so you cut yourself off. Jaemin’s mouth fell open, and it stayed open as he struggled to form a response. 

“I’m sorry.” You said while shrinking in your seat. “I shouldn’t have told you that.”

Aside from feeling guilty for dumping your feelings on someone, you hated yourself for spilling them all over Jaemin of all people. Jaemin, who always smiled and didn’t deserve to be burdened with your self-inflicted troubles. Jaemin, who flirted with you, and somehow liked you, and didn’t want to hear about your boyfriend. 

“I don’t think you have to apologize. To me or to him.” Jaemin’s smile slowly returned, and guilt eased its clutch around you. “No offense, but anyone who doesn’t want to hang out with you and Jisung is a loser. And I’m not just saying that because I like—”

Your soaring heart came crashing down when Haechan cheered, “We come bearing pizza!” The other boys followed behind him, each carrying two boxes of pizza. 

Renjun returned Jaemin’s debit card and the bows sat around the table. Jisung sat at your side and smiled brightly even as Jaemin glared.

“Do you think you got enough to eat?” Jaemin furrowed his brow. “Seriously, guys, ten pizzas are excessive! You can’t just take advantage of my generosity and—”

“Jaemin,” you interrupted calmly, fighting the urge to giggle with the other boys. “It’s okay. If it matters so much, I’ll pay you back.”

“What?” He gasped. “No, don’t! Besides, money isn’t the point!”

“Generosity!” Chenle cackled and flicked a piece of pepperoni at Jaemin; he dodged the attack. “You just bought us dinner to impress Jisung’s sister!”

The others, excluding Jisung, chorused, “Ooooh.” All, except the laughing Mark, partook in flinging pizza toppings at Jaemin. 

Burning a faint shade of pink from his neck up, Jaemin screeched, “Hey! Cut it out! I dressed nicely and—”

Jeno wiggled his eyebrows before sinking his teeth into a slice of cheese pizza. “Jaemin dressed nicely to impress Jisung’s sister!”

And the boys—minus Jisung, who sat quietly, cheeks stuffed full—again sang “Ooooh,” until you and Jaemin were both colored crimson. 

In what must have been an attempt to defend you from his friends’ teasing, Jisung swallowed his mouthful and chirped, “She has a name!”

Jisung’s attempt backfired. 

The boys sang, “Ooooh! Jaemin and Y/N, sitting in a tree. . .”

As you laughed out loud for the first time all night, Jaemin’s annoyance or embarrassment vanished. Grinning, he flew out of his seat, grabbed you by the hand, and pulled you toward the arcade. He said, “I hope you got all the pizza you wanted!”

Although you couldn’t care less about eating more pizza, you yelled over laughter and games, “You don’t think they’ll leave me any?”

Jaemin said, “Jisung might try to save you some, but it’ll get cold if one of the guys doesn’t steal it. You and I are gonna be here for a while.” He dropped your hand to point up at a shelf of plush prizes. “Which one do you want?”

The giant mint green llama instantly caught your eye. You fumbled with an answer because, “Jaemin, those cost, like, 5,000 tickets!”

He retrieved a neon green play card from his back pocket, twirled it between his fingers, and winked. “4,902 electronic tickets, baby! Pick your prize, and we’ll get the other 98 tickets!”

“How—why?” You stuttered, flustered by Jaemin’s unromantic use of the word ‘baby.’

“I come here a lot,” Jaemin shrugged, “and I already have a bunch of those plushes. It’s a little childish, but they always make me feel better when I’m feeling down.” 

Oh. So this was his response to your rambling about your boyfriend. He wouldn’t tell you to break up with him as your girlfriends did before moving on to the next topic of idle gossip. He wouldn’t sulk with you like Jisung. Jaemin would go out of his way to teach you to have fun. 

“Pick one!” Jaemin urged again, brushing his elbow against your ribs until you went weak with laughter. Before you could trip over your own feet, he secured you around the waist. His gaze followed where you pointed. “Ah, the llama. Cute. Let’s go!” He grabbed your hand and sped to the wall of skeeball machines because, he explained, that game was the quickest—and most fun!— way to earn tickets.   

“We don’t have to run everywhere,” you wheezed, doubling over. 

As he knelt to swipe his play card, Jaemin looked up and stole your little remaining breath with his smile. “Come on, breathlessness is part of the fun!” After watching you scramble to pull your card out of your pocket, Jaemin swiped his through your machine.

“Jaemin!” You swatted at him gently when he stood upright, and he spun away from the contact. “I’m supposed to pay for the games! That’s what we agreed on!”

Your scolding elicited a burst of laughter. Shaking his card at you, Jaemin defended himself. “The points are on my card.” You wrinkled your forehead, and he continued, “If you want that adorable llama, you gotta let me pay.”

Because he turned his attention to his game and started launching ball after ball into the center target, he didn’t see your small smile. You mirrored his posture as you started your game and said, “Under that cute exterior, you’re really quite cunning.”

Rather than fixating on the insult, Jaemin noticed the compliment. “Cute,” he mimicked your high pitch. “You think I’m cute?” He glanced at you and snorted as your ball sank into the gutter. “Oops! Am I too cute? Am I distracting you?”

Your blush was washed out by the blinking arcade lights. “You’re not distracting me because you’re cute.” You balanced the lie with a partial truth: “You’re distracting because you’re annoying.”

“Ouch,” He whistled. His game announced, ‘New High Score!’ and he celebrated by pumping a fist into the air. He turned to you and said, “Every time I think you’re starting to like me back just a little, you cut me right back down.”

Well aware of how flirtatiously Jaemin would interpret your words, you decided to say, ‘I do like you.’ The words were dancing on the tip of your tongue, but you swallowed them back when Jisung and his friends approached.

“Found ‘em!” Haechan declared like you had been playing hide-and-seek. 

This is a good thing, you told yourself as your game ended without all the fanfare Jaemin’s high score earned. I would have regretted confusing Jaemin’s feelings. Some true things are better left unsaid. 

“These kids are ruining the experience,” Jaemin grumbled. Shoving his hands into the pockets of light blue acid-washed jeans, he asked the boys, “What do you need now?”

“We just wanted to check in on our favorite budding romance.” Renjun’s jest received laughter from the other boys and a dramatic eyeroll from Jaemin. 

“Find your own romances and stop following us like a bunch of weirdos,” Jaemin suggested.

Jisung stepped up to your side. “Want these?” His hands cupped a rainbow assortment of hard candies. “I won them!” Your brother beamed at his accomplishment when you popped a candy into your mouth.

Stuffing a wrapper and a couple of pieces into your pockets, you smiled at him. “Thank you, Jisung!” The cherry-flavored jawbreaker muffled your voice. You nearly choked on your laughter when Jisung bent to let you pat his head. 

Chenle said, “Now that the adorable sibling bonding is out of the way, we’re gonna play laser tag. We know you two—” his eyes flickered from you to Jaemin—“would rather make out by the skeeball machines—”

You gasped, and Jisung shouted, “Hey!” He stomped to Chenle and towered over him. Jisung’s height alone would have been daunting if he didn’t have the face of a baby even when glowering. “Don’t say stuff like that! She’s my sister!” 

Chenle’s hands rose in mock surrender. “I’m not the one making out with—”

“Anyway—” Jeno intervened by stepping between Chenle and Jisung—“We’re gonna play laser tag if you wanna tag along!” Jeno laughed at his pun.

Jaemin shook his head, and his bangs fell into his eyes. “We’re not gonna play. Thanks for asking.”

“We’re not?” You wrinkled your forehead. 

You weren’t offended by Jaemin’s eagerness to speak on your behalf. You were just surprised that he didn’t run at the opportunity to explore the arcade with his friends. That was why he showed up, right? To spend time with Jisung. 

Chenle hummed, “Ooooh, trouble in paradise!” 

Jaemin ignored him. He explained through a nervous grin, “We can’t get tickets from playing laser tag. If we want that llama, we gotta stay focused!”

“What llama?” Mark asked. He received no answer.

Jisung’s eyes widened as he sucked on a piece of candy. “You’re not gonna pay tag?”

You didn’t withstand your brother’s disappointed stare because you wanted to win a silly stuffed animal. This was wrong. Now, you thought, you actually deserved your boyfriend’s disapproval. You enjoyed having Jaemin’s attention to yourself. 

That’s why you grinned and cheered, “We gotta win that llama!” You earned a high five from Jaemin.

Teasing you must have lost its appeal. Wordlessly nodding, the boys set off to play laser tag. Jisung lingered, still staring at you. Realizing that Jisung would otherwise be left behind, Renjun ushered him away, muttering, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Neither of you spoke for a few minutes after Jaemin started another round of skeeball.

The silence ended when Jaemin said, “You don’t have to look so guilty.” His voice, softer than usual, was almost lost amid booming sound effects, laughter, and screams of triumph and despair. “Jisung won’t stay hung up on us for long. He’s pretty adaptable.”

You couldn’t explain that the twisting in your gut had little to do with the look you put on Jisung’s face. You couldn’t explain that spending this time with Jaemin was inappropriate. Then, you would have to stop out of respect for your never-present boyfriend.  

And you didn’t want to stop. And you didn’t want to ruin the playful atmosphere. And you didn’t want to overwhelm Jaemin’s crush on you if it were as shallow as you imagined. 

We’re just having fun, you argued to the nagging voice in the back of your mind. 

The voice in your mind sounded a lot like the one booming in your ears, the voice of your boyfriend, the voice that stunned you stiff. 

Those defensive thoughts weren’t just thoughts. They were stuttered excuses you forced through trembling lips as he glared down at you. His fingers dug into your arms so roughly that it would have hurt if you weren’t embarrassed—numb. Numb except for the agonizing thundering of your heart. 

People were staring. People were listening to him scold you. “I wouldn’t have bothered coming to this stupid place if I’d known you were here to hook up with some stupid jerk you found at the claw machine.” 

He cut his eyes at Jaemin, and you with the realization that you were not trapped in a dream turned nightmare. He wouldn’t disappear with the opening of your eyes. Yet, you blinked once, twice, thrice, in the hope that he would. 

Jaemin was as stunned as you were. Dark maroon splotches formed on every visible inch of his skin. His chest rapidly rose and fell under his white t-shirt. His hands were clenched in tight fists pressed to his side. His jaw was forced shut, lips pressed into a thin line. 

“He is not a stupid jerk.” Emboldened by the instinct to stand up for Jaemin, you didn’t shrink under your boyfriend’s cold, piercing stare. “And we aren’t even hooking up!” You liked Jaemin, and that perversion of your relationship made your hair stand on end. “He’s my friend.”

“Your friend.” Your boyfriend’s laugh was hollow. Again, he was going to remind you that nobody was interested in you. Jabbing a finger at Jaemin without breaking your eye contact, he accused, “He is no more interested in ‘friendship’ with you than I am.”

At some point, you would have believed it. At some point, those words would have hurt you. But they had been spoken so often that they lost their sting. He had always been like this— cruel— even when you tried to will yourself oblivious. Until now, you forced yourself to say whatever might guarantee temporary peace. 

What was so different now? 

Maybe now that you realized there were people like Jaemin who would enjoy your company without the promise of anything in return, you couldn’t subject yourself to mistreatment. Maybe Jaemin’s smile broke through the darkness your boyfriend insisted encompassed the entire world. Maybe Jaemin’s smile exposed your relationship’s emptiness. Maybe you finally understood that there was nothing there worth saving with forced silence. 

“Let go of me.” You met your boyfriend’s eyes. Your voice wavered slightly because the words were unfamiliar in your mouth. “Go away. You don’t want anything to do with me, and I don’t want anything to do with you either. So just— just—”

The tears that pooled in his eyes were inauthentic. Although you recognized his deliberate attempt at manipulation, you couldn’t say the final word. You continued to tread that dangerous line between freedom and captivity, between apology and honesty, until he pushed you away.

You couldn’t even be relieved. He turned and towered over Jaemin, who was not intimidated by his size. Jaemin, who stood proudly when faced with the force that had been strangling you, extinguishing you for months. 

“Ease up, dude,” your boyfriend growled.“I’m not gonna hit you.”

Jaemin did not change his posture, and your boyfriend clicked his tongue in annoyance. You flinched at the sound, and Jaemin didn’t bat an eyelash. 

“Whatever,” your boyfriend spat. “You want her so badly?” Jaemin nodded, but your boyfriend didn’t notice. He turned to watch you crumble as he said, “Take her, then. I only went out with her because she begged me.”

You weren’t winded so much by what he said. You decided just moments ago that he could not determine your worth. But how could cruelty come so easily to anybody? How could he easily turn away from his latest attempt to break you when you could never work up the nerve to peacefully walk away from him? You couldn’t understand. 

You couldn’t quite process the public breakup until you noticed that the once bustling arcade had gone silent. There were a few scattered whispers—all about you. The breakup was not quite real until you felt the eyes of strangers prying into you. The humiliation didn’t quite dawn on you until you met Jaemin’s gaze—overwhelmed, frightened, saddened. 

Jaemin’s stare. That’s what drove you to seek solace on a bench under the moonlight sky. 

The unseasonably cool blowing breeze reminded you that you never deserved to hold Jaemin’s attention. What had he even seen in you that day you stormed into the cafe to retrieve Jisung? You had been sweaty, irritable, and dismissive of his friendship with Jisung and his inexplicable interest in you. You were undesirable in appearance and in deed; yet Jaemin could smile at you. You couldn’t understand. 

After that confrontation, he would never smile at you the same way. How weak must you have sounded, stuttering like a fool? How foolish must you have seemed for allowing someone so careless and cruel to stand close to your heart? 

Weak. Foolish. Undesirable. Unworthy. 

The words you thought of yourself were unfair and untrue, but you could not stop thinking them. In an effort to ignore the thoughts you couldn’t control, you pulled your phone out of your pocket. Gifsets were always guaranteed to brighten your mood. 

Your phone only sowed your mood, though. After dismissing a wall of texts from your boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend—you read a text from your friend. She sent you a screenshot of your ex’s Instagram account. He posted a picture of himself kissing another girl with the caption: ‘Guess I don’t have to keep the love of my life secret anymore. Guess we were both seeing other people.’

The screen went black, and you slammed the phone down at your side. After publicly accusing you of cheating with Jaemin, your ex revealed the reason why he never wanted you, why he preferred to go days without talking, and why he never wanted to spend any time with you. There was somebody else. The problem was never you. The problem was always him. 

Somehow—deep down, or right at the surface—you had always known. Rather than feeling relieved or vindicated, you hated yourself for ignoring your parents and Jisung and the careful voice in your head that said, ‘let go, run.’ That careful voice started warning you long before you met Jaemin, long before you started falling for his smile slowly and then all at once. Why hadn’t you listened?

Footsteps slapped on the pavement from afar, and you sucked a breath in. Nobody could see you, not until you had worked through your storm of emotions. You tugged your legs, bare below your striped shorts, onto the bench and contorted to conceal yourself in the building’s shadow. 

Jaemin found you with little effort. He wasted no time in running to you and sitting beside you as closely as he had at school days ago. His eyes were different now. They were wide with concern, no longer sparkling with mischief. 

Unable to stand how he looked at you—like you were breaking—you crossed your arms over your knees and buried your face in the bend of your elbow. You begged, “Stop looking at me like that, Jaemin.”

Although he had done nothing wrong, Jaemin apologized. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that happened, and I’m sorry I caused it—”

“You didn’t cause it.” Your urge to console Jaemin overwhelmed your urge to hide. You lowered your feet onto the concret. To comfort him, you rested your arm on the back of the bench, just behind his shoulders. “That guy—he’s always been a big—”

You wouldn’t have known how to describe your ex-boyfriend if your phone hadn’t interrupted you with a sharp buzz. Jaemin grabbed your phone, and the screen lit up in his hand. 

Jaemin’s mouth fell open. “He—he had the nerve to scream at you in front of all those people when he’s been kissing—” Rage tightened around Jaemin’s vocal cords, and he shoved the phone back into the narrow space between your bodies. “I don’t get it. People like that—how do they get anyone to like them? And how can they just treat people—why do they— I—” He raked his fingers through his hair, drawing a deep ragged breath. 

Staring up at the moon and willing your voice to stay even, you mumbled, “I don’t get it either. I guess—you know—I read once that we accept the love we think we deserve.” 

Did you believe that line you found in a book? Is that why you could never break things off? Is that why you could never demand better for yourself?

Jaemin pulled his legs onto the bench and crossed them so he could face you fully. “Hey.” He reached for your hand. This time there was no playful grin when you didn’t flinch from his touch. Once you mirrored his posture to face him, he said, “You deserve better. A lot better. And by that, I don’t mean that you deserve me, even though I’d like—”

As if you weren’t leaning into his every word, Jaemin caught his tongue and stared down at his hand holding yours. 

When words failed, you returned his small act of affection by curling your fingers around his hand. “I really want to deserve you, Jaemin. Someday soon.” 

Had you given in to the desire to look at him, you would have seen his eyebrows knitting together as he said, “I don’t know what you mean. If it has anything to do with what that jerk said—”

“It doesn’t,” you said despite your failed efforts to silence his nagging voice in the corner of your mind. “You’re just so bright and beautiful, and I was quick to judge you for yelling at Jisung, and—”

He asked, “Wait, when did I—oh. Are you talking about when I got onto him that time after work?”

You nodded slowly, tracing over his knuckles. “And when you yelled at him over that video game.”

“You heard that?” At his feeble tone, you finally looked up at Jaemin. In the pale moonlight, his blush was a glowing pink. He scratched at the back of his neck with his free hand. “I’m sorry. I apologized to Jisung, too. I guess it’s not an excuse, but my temper isn’t all that great when I lose games. And that time after work—”

“I know you weren’t trying to bully him,” you said. “You were trying to help him improve. Now I know that you just like to nag—”

Jaemin huffed, “I do not nag!” You bit back laughter.

“— and I’m sorry that I misunderstood you. It’s not an excuse, but I’m protective of Jisung because he’s the most precious person in the world. I didn’t know that you knew that too. I’m sorry.” 

Jaemin blinked, unsure of what to do with your apologies. He said, “I like that you’re protective of Jisung. I like that when some big jerk is yelling at you, you think to defend me from his stupid insults. That’s who you are, and it’s nothing to apologize for—especially because I like you.”

He liked you. After all of that chaos, Jaemin still liked you. Such a small word— like— meant so much. You couldn’t remember the last time someone who wasn’t Jisung said it to you and meant it. You didn’t try to fight the smile tugging at your lips. 

If you were defined by your protectiveness of Jisung and Jaemin, then Jaemin was defined by buying pizza for his friends (and nagging about it), offering a hard-earned collection of 4,902 tickets to brighten your day with a cute stuffed animal, and holding your hand in the aftermath of utter humiliation. 

You couldn’t keep the fact to yourself, and you didn’t want to: “I like you too, Jaemin.” 

He looked at you. Silence hung in the air as you stood together on the edge of something new. Should you say something to define it? Would taking that dive dampen the chemistry that formed despite old oppressive labels? 

You didn’t agonize long before Jaemin leaped off the bench and extended his hand to you. “Come on,” he implored, wearing that broad smile that gave your heart wings to soar from its broken restraints. “We gotta go win that llama!”

You didn’t hesitate to take his hand. You didn’t hesitate to seize the moment with him, wherever it led.

. . . 

Had you expected there to be so many college-aged students sitting around and sipping down lattes and munching through muffins, you wouldn’t have rushed into the cafe from the chilly Autumn breeze. You would have held onto the sunshine yellow gift bag longer and sought Jaemin at school. You had been standing in line far too long to walk away without achieving your goal, so you stood in line until Jeno noticed you. 

From behind the register, he called your name. He motioned you to the front, deaf to the groan of customers who resented your special treatment. He yelled into the kitchen, “Jaemin, it’s time for your break!” Jeno shot you a soothing thumbs-up and returned to serving customers. 

“Huh?” Jaemin filled the doorway. His brow was furrowed and lips were pursed as he argued, “I’m not scheduled—” 

He gasped at the sight of you. He removed his chocolate-stained cream apron and rounded the counter. Combing his fingers through his hair, he said, “Jisung isn’t here, you know.” 

“I know.” You nodded. “I’m not here for Jisung.”

He asked, “Then why—”

Jaemin’s eyes fell on the gift bag, and he flashed his signature breath-taking smile. “Oh, I see!” He wagged a finger as he crossed the dark-tiled floor. He grabbed your hand and led you out into the golden afternoon. 

You sat together on the bench outside of the cafe. Hugging you to his side, he beamed, “You couldn’t resist seeing me on my birthday!”

You teased, “For once, your delusions are spot on.” You clutched the gift bag and glanced around at the browning treeline. “Is this our thing, Nana? Sitting on benches and holding hands?”

A blush colored his face whenever you called him by his nickname. His blush never failed to tickle your heart. “Yep,” he hummed and laced his fingers (warm) through yours (cold). “I’m not gonna have to let go when I open that present, am I?”

His free hand reached out for the gift, and you couldn’t cling to it any longer. Sucking in a breath, you watched as he yanked out the white tissue paper. You released the breath only when his eyes sparkled while he freed the pink plush llama from the bag. 

“Did you win this from the arcade?” Jaemin’s smile, already too big for this dull world, grew with the nod of your head. 

“I can’t take all the credit.” You giggled when Jaemin touched the llama’s muzzle to your face again and again in time with the puckering of his lips. “The idea was all mine, but Jisung helped me earn the tickets. Obviously, we’re not as good at games as you are—” Jaemin winked at the flattery—“so that’s why the prize isn’t as big as the one you won for me once upon a time.”

Jaemin didn’t seem to think less of the gift because of its size. “This is the best birthday!” he yelled into the cloudy autumn sky. He released your hand only so he could hug the llama to his chest. “Thank you so much!”

Your heart softened. “You’re welcome!” Looking into the bag, you added, “I think there’s a card too.” 

You didn’t think. You knew there was a card without having to look into the bag for the thousandth time that day. The card—more specifically, the note inside—was what made your nerves tremble. 

Although you wanted some relief from the pounding of your heart, you couldn’t keep your eyes from admiring Jaemin’s face as he laughed at the silly googly-eyed puppy on the card’s front. You couldn’t keep your gaze focused on the llama lying face up in his lap. You had to watch the lines deepen around his smile when his eyes darted up after studying your handwriting. 

“Ooooh,” Jaemin whistled at having caught you studying him. “You have a crush on me!”

You started, “I—” 

“And you can’t deny it!” He flipped the card, and you were faced with your curly pink lettering. Finally, too embarrassed, you looked away. He boasted, “Here it is in writing!”

Were Jaemin anyone else in the world, he would have been cruel. He cleared his throat and prepared to read your confession aloud. He pressed his cloud-soft palm to yours as he recited, “‘Nana, I never thought you would become my best friend’— after Jisung, I’m assuming— ‘And I never imagined that someone so bright and beautiful could exist in my life and steal my heart, but you have. You have, and I love you, and I’m ready to tell you.’”

Jaemin looked at you again, this time without any trace of playfulness. This time, he waited for you to catch your breath. 

He was good at waiting for you. He had been from the day you stomped into the cafe. He proved his patience over the last few months by giving you all the pleasures of friendship—all the joys of having an adorable boy to text at any hour, to laugh with too loudly at lunch, to sit with on two-person benches until seconds turned into minutes that turned into hours. He didn’t seem tired of waiting for your romance to start because, really, it had already started. 

But you were tired of waiting to call him yours. You admitted, “It’s not a crush, Jaemin. I’m in love with you.” 

He must not have been surprised. He didn’t gasp, his eyes didn’t widen, and he didn’t miss a beat before responding, “I really want to be your boyfriend. I don’t need the title to love you too, obviously, but I want it as soon as you’re ready. Please.” 

You had been ready for a while, but you forced yourself to wait for Jaemin. While Jaemin probably thought that you were testing his devotion, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Contrary to Jisung’s assumption (that you were waiting for certainty of your feelings), you did not once doubt the butterflies that had not stopped fluttering in your belly since you started cuddling with the mint-green llama to fall asleep. 

Maybe nobody else could understand that you were waiting for the wounds inflicted by your ex-boyfriend to heal. You never again wanted to bleed on Jaemin. You were waiting for the day that you could be as bright as the sun too. 

That day had finally come, so you wasted no time in promising, “Okay, Nana. I’m ready.” 

Jaemin didn’t as for any clarification or justification of your feelings. Maybe he was afraid that you would change your mind if you were asked to repeat yourself. Maybe he sensed your confidence. After pumping a celebratory fist in the air, he wore a victorious grin. You couldn’t resist capturing his smile in a long-awaited whisper of a kiss. 

BONUS SCENE:

“You’re almost as dangerous in the kitchen as Jisung is,” Jaemin fussed. He knocked you away from the oven by bumping your hips with his own. He made a spectacle of pulling canary yellow oven mitts over his hands. “These keep you from getting burned by 350° cookie sheets, silly!” 

You rolled your eyes at the reprimand while Jaemin pulled the chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and gingerly set them on the counter. “Yeah, yeah,” you huffed. You were accustomed to his eagerness to show you up anywhere and everywhere, especially in the kitchen, where years of experience at the cafe gave him a clear advantage. 

After turning the oven off and closing its door, Jaemin pointed and giggled at your pout. “Aw, don’t be sulky, baby!” He dropped the oven mitts into their drawer. Crossing the distance between you in two steps, he pressed his palms flat on the countertop at your sides. He lowered his face to be level with yours. “You’re kinda cute when you pout, though.” 

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as Jaemin��s breath ghosted your lips. It wasn’t fair that you were always the breathless one. Quickly, before he could act first, you stretched to brush your lips against his. 

His chocolate-flavored gasp was a short-lived reward. Always ready to adapt, always searching for a way to tease you, Jaemin was quick to turn your sweet, playful kiss into something that made your skin burn scarlet and your legs turn to jelly. 

“Ah!” Jisung screamed, and you pushed Jaemin away with all of your strength. Jisung never failed to slap a hand over his eyes after catching you deep in a kiss with Jaemin. His discoveries were growing in frequency, and his tolerance was wearing thin. He groaned, “No place is safe! Not the cafe— not even during work hours. Not the car when you two pick me up after school—” 

Jaemin suggested, “You could take the bus!” 

Jisung continued, “Not the arcade. Definitely not the movie theater after last time. Now, not the kitchen! Now, I can’t even walk around my own home without getting jumpscared!”

Because Jisung rarely raised his voice, you were stunned silent. Jaemin, meanwhile, encouraged him, “You can walk around. Maybe just knock on doors first.”

“There isn’t a door!” Jisung pressed his back against a wall and gestured to the empty archway connecting the living room to the kitchen. “And you’re missing the point!”

“What is the point?” You hoped to make Jisung the target of Jaemin’s teasing. When Jisung dropped the hand covering his eyes to gawk at you, you wrapped your arms around Jaemin’s waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I thought you wanted me to like Jaemin.” 

“Not like this!” Jisung’s whine struck a devilish spark in Jaemin’s eyes. Your mission was a success: Jaemin’s eyes fixed on your little brother. 

Frowning, Jaemin leaned into your embrace. “That’s not what you said when you gave me permission to ask her out!”

Jisung cried, “I thought she would reject you again!” 

When Jaemin gasped and pretended to faint in your arms, you laughed. You asked, “Well, Jisung, will any of my boyfriends meet your standards?”

“I don’t care that you’re dating.” Jisung tore his eyes away from Jaemin’s theatrics to root through the cabinets in search of a snack. The tips of his ears were blistered pink. “It’s just—the PDA—”

“Here.” Jaemin offered him a cookie. “It’s not PDA if we’re not in public.” 

“Not this time,” Jisung grumbled through his mouthful of sugar. He asked you, “When do you think you’ll get tired of kissing Jaemin? I need to know when I can start walking around with my eyes open again.” 

Jaemin climbed onto the granite countertop and poked out his bottom lip. “Yeah! When are you gonna get tired of me?”

There was only one way to answer. 

“Never, of course!” You cheered before pecking at Jaemin’s smiling lips.

“Shameless!” Jisung shrieked, running out of the kitchen with a handful of cookies. “Absolutely shameless!” 

You and Jaemin shared in the golden laughter that colored your every day together.

[nika-vincent]

Long post warning.

I'm trying to put together some thoughts (also based on recent discussions with many great folks) about the romance path with Halsin in the form that it is presented in the game at the moment with the hope that Larian will notice our comments on this. And part 2 about Halsin's personality in the game. Please, fear not, it will be without aggression. So take some tea, my friends, and let's get started!☕

From the very beginning of EA, we had an image of Halsin that stood out not only by his appearance (it was difficult to not notice the thirsty comments of fans about this), but also by the excellent qualities of his character. He is one of those characters who sincerely wants to help us with our parasite and not try to use us in a bad way or even kill us.

He has the impression, you know, of a big adult man who at first glance looks serious and rather harsh, but when you learn more about him, you realize that this is a man with a kind heart, caring, protecting, not leaving you in trouble. He reminds me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter universe. And this image of him was so loved by many people (including me) that we wanted to see more of it when the game was released. There was no limit to my delight when, after the release of the game, we were able to ask about his hobbies. Gods, how all these cute things fit him that he loves honey and carves wood in his spare time.🥰 I want more of this!❤

We began to fantasize about what a romance with Halsin could be, and expected that these beautiful traits of his character would manifest themselves here. That he will be protective for Tav, gentle, romantic and caring. I was incredibly happy that we were finally given the opportunity to have a romance with him and the words during the PFH that Halsin and Astarion had become the most popular characters of EA gave great expectations.

Of course, after the release of the game, many things have remained behind the scenes for now, due to lack of time to implement the rest of things I believe, and I assume that there is a chance of adding this with patches. But let's move on to the things we have at the moment.

What surprised me not in a good way was that I noticed some strange emphasis on Halsin's sexuality and various jokes towards his body in the game itself. I assume that perhaps the developers wanted to make some kind of reference to the thirsty comments of fans about Halsin, which can often be seen on the Internet. But I think it would be better to leave it between fans, and not literally implement it in the game. I do not deny his sexuality myself and say that his arms are made for hugs! But there should be a limit to everything, I think. I can make an exception about the fact that we can ask about why he is so big for an elf. It looks quite harmless and even his reaction amuses.😁

The reference to 'Daddy Halsin' in his ending was great and really funny! It looks unobtrusive and does not create the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that we got from some of his stories from the past...

The story of Halsin's sexual past and how the romance with him is presented in the game has been most criticized by players, and there are several reasons for this. We found out that he had many lovers throughout his life (So it is lovers, not special loved ones). And then we also learn that when he was a young druid, he traveled through the underdark and found himself a guest in a noble Drow house, in which the matron and the patron showed interest in him and chained him for three years in their bedchamber, where he played the role of 'guest, prisoner and consort'. Honestly, the last thing I expected was that Halsin would get such a backstory, given that we had kept in mind for so long the image of him which I described at the beginning of this article. It literally took me by surprise. And especially the fact that he talks about it so calmly and even with a note of gaiety, as if this is a common thing that could happen to anyone.

I don't understand the need to add such things to him. Perhaps the developers wanted to show in this way that a man with such an attractive appearance is obliged to have a hot sexual experience and give him an image of something like a Faerun Casanova? If so, it turned out to be quite inappropriate and even creepy, and the players perceived it more as a sexual abuse towards him than as an experience.

It can be noticed that even Halsin himself is not very enthusiastic with the fact that remarks about his physique are the first thing people talk about. Clipping from @lylakoi 's screenshot:

And all this strongly contradicts how we initially fell in love with Halsin and how we wanted to see him and his romance in the release. The romantic relationship between Tav and Halsin at the moment looks more built on physical attraction, rather than on love, care and mutual respect. Most likely, this is due to the noticeable lack of romance content at the moment and more soft things and scenes will be added to the patches that would dilute it well so that it does not catch the eye. I just wanted the romance to be less fixated on lust, and more on feelings and romantic things between Tav and Halsin.

The most terrible thing that literally brought tears to my eyes is the fact that he can talk about his feelings and love only when we ourselves can behave like an abuser with him, when we decide to break up with him and change our minds. We see how much it hurts him that we are playing with his heart. Because at the moment there are no other romantic scenes in the game in which we can discuss with him our feelings and that we love each other, as it happens with other companions.

Polyamory also does not work quite correctly in the game, because it seems that he wants Tav to be poly in the relationship, not him. It looks something like: 'You're all I want, but don't get stuck on me and find someone else' uhh, what? I only want to romance you, why should I find someone else? This dialogue is appropriate if I was already in a relationship with another companion and would like to be with Halsin too. But if I want to have a romance with him alone, then I believe that the dialogue should be different and not insist on 'sharing' if I have not a relationship with anyone.

Given the whole story that he only had lovers and sexual slavery, I assume that Halsin has never experienced true love with anyone, and only knows how to be used by everyone. If this was the original idea of the writers, which has not yet been brought to its logical end, then the role of Tav in the romance with Halsin here should be quite important in order to see the development of their relationship. The main goal in the romance should be that Tav will allow Halsin to feel what it's like to be truly important and loved. Remember when in the act 2 he was touched by the fact that Tav shared a campfire and their company with him. Screenshot by @lylakoi :

It is clearly evident that such things that someone does for him are unusual to him and touch his very heart. Most likely, he is used to giving, not receiving.

The bed scene with him is absolutely beautiful, I can even give a standing ovation.❤ I would only add after that a scene where Tav and Halsin are lying side by side, looking at the stars and having a romantic conversation. That would end the night perfectly.🙏

It is necessary to add more soft interactions for Halsin, so that there is more emphasis on the development of his personal qualities. We are well aware of his attractiveness and there is no need to emphasize this once again with strange jokes and stories with sexual abuse.

The Interaction in the camp with owlbear and Scratch will be great for him! Maybe even add some scenes with companions in act 2, where Halsin would try to calm the guys arguing with each other. That would add +1 to his personality traits. Also, more of his reactions to any events or during the dialogues with someone will not hurt.

For a romance, I would suggest definitely adding a scene with a date. Even a scene where Halsin would give an ornament for Tav that he carved out of wood. Maybe some episode in the city that would shock him (For example, he witnessed the rough treatment of animals or orphans) and make him turn into a bear from rage and we would try to calm him down by choosing the option 'reach out and stroke him' (Yes, yes, I mentally create fanfics during 3 am, don't blame me😅) Also a scene where we could hug him and confess that we love him. And now the romance no longer looks focused on lust.

The opportunity to go with Halsin in the ending also deserves to exist. Halsin mentioned that he would like to have a family, so he and Tav could perfectly help orphans together in Thaniel's world.🙏

That's all for today. My opinion about Larian has not changed for the worse, for me they are still great guys who delight me with their positive attitude to the community. Unpleasant situations can happen, it is inevitable. But there is always a chance to fix something. I really want to hope that they will cope with everything and listen to our feedbacks and everything will gradually get better with the patches.❤

Thank you for reading this review to the end.🙏❤ I also suggest joining the discussion to Larian's discord in the 'bg3-feedback' section.

[corruptedcaps]

Eco Warrior

I can't believe the nerve of those corporate jerks! All we were doing was peacefully protesting their evil company and they threw this gross sticky chemical stuff all over me! I should wash it off but I need the evidence for when I go to the cops tomorrow. It's infuriating how they think they can just silence us like that. But you know what? This won't stop me. I'll fight even harder now. We're in this together, and we're going to make sure they're held accountable for the damage they've done to people and the environment.

Change of plans with going to the cops, I woke up to find the chemicals had soaked into my skin. They haven’t left any evidence in me. I guess I should be thankfully. Although I think they may have contributed to this tan I have now. But that's not the point right now. I need to focus on getting to the new protest today. We can't let their tactics deter us. We have to keep standing up against their injustices and fighting for what's right. Let's get out there and make our voices heard again.

You won't believe how well the protest went today. Our voices were louder than ever, and it felt like a turning point. But here's the craziest part – those corporate guys actually came over to apologize for splashing me with chemicals! Can you believe that? They said it was a mistake and that they want to make amends. They even offered me a role as a protest liaison within their company. It's wild, right? I'm torn though. Part of me wants to take the chance to make change from the inside, but another part worries it might just be a ploy. What do you think babe?

So, I just got back from my first day as a protest liaison, and I'm kind of surprised. The corporation is actually really nice, and they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. They even gave me a bunch of free makeup, creams, and lotions to try, as a way to show their products aren't harmful. I've already put some on, and I have to admit, they feel pretty good. They make my body tingle all over, especially my boobs. Bigger? No I don’t so. It's probably just the outfit I'm wearing today. I think you just like what you see, mmmm come closer baby.

It's frustrating to deal with some of my protestor friends calling me a scab and a corporate shill just because I'm working with the corporation now. I have no sympathy for their attitude. If they can't see that I'm trying to make a positive change from within, then that's their problem. Honestly, it feels like jealousy more than anything. I mean, the corporation even gave me a raise already and has let me use all their products for free. That must mean I'm doing something they value. Plus I’m sure it doesn’t help that I look so much better then them now as well. The company’s products really are like magic. Mmmm all this talk of how good I look I’d getting me in the mood, take off your pants.

Like my new car? My company bought it for me for doing such a good job. Protest liaison? No they’ve moved me into marketing and sales where I’m excelling. It helps that I’m a walking billboard for them. As for the protest, honestly, I don't really care about it anymore. Things change, priorities shift. This is where I am now, and I've got better things to focus on than those who still think shouting on the streets will make a difference. It's all about playing the game right, and clearly, I'm winning. So, if you'll excuse me, I've got more important matters to attend to than the past.

Ugh, those protestors are getting on my nerves. Yesterday, they nearly ruined my new fur coat as I was walking into work. Can you believe their audacity? Pathetic losers, the lot of them. I need to find some muscle to deal with them, get them out of my way once and for all. It's like they're stuck in a never-ending cycle of futile resistance. Well, I won't let them stand in my way or mess with what I've built. I am vice president now after all, I deserve respect. Time to take control and show them the real power of influence.

Oh, look at you now. Splashing you with those chemicals did wonders, didn't it? Just like they did to me. Of course at first I had no idea the chemicals were changing me into the mega bitch you see before you but once I realized what my companies products were doing to me, I couldn’t get enough. It’s so hawt to see the concentrated formula change you so quickly. You've become quite the imposing figure, muscular and mean. It's good to see loyalty in action. From now on, you're my enforcer. Those protestors won't stand a chance with you by my side. Let's make sure they understand that challenging me comes at a price. Together, we'll show them what happens when they fuck with me.

You know what? It turns out, it was a much better plan to turn those protestors into my new executive board. All it took was a little splash of those chemicals, and their loyalty was sealed. With them backing me, it was easy to ascended to the position of CEO. Funny how things work out, isn't it? They thought they were fighting against me, but now they're working for me. It's a powerful reminder that sometimes, the best way to bring about change is from the inside. And now, I've got the influence and control I've always wanted. Make less products? No dear we’re doubling our output now, I want an army.

[vinelark]

6 for the ask meme 😎

6. Have you written any fanfictions featuring OCs? If so, elaborate!

oh? is it time? is it time to drop the OCBFEU primer??

in short: yes, last year my friends came up with a whole "what if we invented a boyfriend for jason" "what if we also invented a boyfriend for dick in the same continuity" batfam AU with two (and a half) significant OCs. we write little informal fics for each other about them and my incredibly talented friends draw them and we also have an extended fantasy AU of the boyfriend AU that could fill about three TV seasons of plot so far. i love them. they are constantly rotating in the back of my mind; it's a fun time.

months ago we compiled a document with bios and a rough OC bf timeline (with bonus timkon) and: here it is! (content warning for a (past) emotionally manipulative relationship. also some brief underage drinking.)

Batfamily OCBFEU (OC Boyfriend Extended Universe)

Santi

jason’s OC boyfriend; ship name sanjay

[original santi post] [mammutblog’s santi art tag] [90kon’s santi art tag]

santi, short for santiago

5’7”; has to go up on his tiptoes to kiss jason

line cook by day, taking classes toward his teaching certification by night, also volunteers at an after-school literacy program in park row

gothamite through & through—grew up a few blocks over from jason, though their paths never crossed. has two siblings, an older sister and a younger brother, but is mostly estranged from them after their dad died. money was incredibly tight after that and santi still took odd jobs—including some for the falcones—to help his sister finish med school.

an old soul like jason, aka he’ll use his same phone til it’s a brick and does not understand tiktok despite kids at the program explaining it to him over and over

there’s probably a mildly popular tiktok series one of the kids has of them asking santi questions while santi is in the middle of something at the program, because everyone loves santi and he gives funny answers when he’s distracted

santi does not become a vigilante—he has enough on his plate, he’s (almost) a teacher—but he’s certainly not without his own set of skills. also he talks a very good game and can usually get by without having to physically fight (see: confrontation with nick in the below timeline)

Blue

dick’s OC boyfriend; ship name bluebird

[original blue post] [other original blue post]

ex-talon from an alternate reality

6’5” 😳

in his original universe blue was taken as a child and turned into a talon (in this version talons have boosted strength/healing, and were conditioned/brainwashed into carrying out the court of owls’ assassinations. also golden eyes) and doesn’t remember his name anymore. once he tumbled into this universe after an assignment gone wrong, he was free of the court’s orders and re-education for the first time and started slowly unraveling their mental conditioning

he rarely speaks, and takes a while to consider his words when he does. when he texts it’s mostly emojis because he prefers them

when left to his own devices he’s very gentle and likes to bake

he had short/shaved hair as a talon. once he’s in this world he starts growing it out and prefers it long

he eventually makes an excellent crime-fighting partner for dick; he knows and understands dick’s skills enough to trust him to take care of himself, so they work very well together. that said, if you really hurt nightwing you will be reminded very quickly that blue spent most of his life as a nearly unbeatable assassin.

he eventually takes up the superhero name flamebird to go with nightwing

Nick

tim’s OC ex-boyfriend; no ship name we hate nick

nick is a GU college freshman (18 at the time) tim meets playing tennis at the local rec center while tim is avoiding the manor in the early red hood reconciliation days

at first nick definitely plays into the fact that tim desperately craves attention at this point in his life. nick is at turns overwhelmingly nice and startlingly cold, and more and more often “playfully” mocks tim, dismisses his thoughts because he’s “young” (16 at the time), etc. nick is, essentially, a jerk who, despite—or perhaps due to—being a teenager himself, does everything he can to feel superior to tim.

nick also drags tim along to parties/hangouts with his college friends so he can show off that he’s dating tim drake-wayne. other than late-night parties with his friends, though, he insists on keeping their relationship a secret.

none of the bats know about this as it’s happening; tim eventually breaks it off and pretends it never happened.

rough OCBFEU timeline

jason and santi meet while jason is still sort of on the outs with the family but not in Revenge Mode anymore. first jason meets santi as red hood, and later realizes his main apartment/civilian ID lives in the same building as santi when they run into each other in the elevator.

sanjay identity shenanigans ensue! santi is very taken with red hood. santi thinks his upstairs neighbor “uhh, call me jay” is an inconsiderate dickhead for seemingly working out/moving furniture around at 3am sometimes. seriously, how many muscles does someone need. that’s ridiculous. santi also thinks jay has a very nice smile but that’s irrelevant.

meanwhile tim meets nick at rec center and they date for a few months. it’s not a great time for tim and he eventually breaks it off.

santi starts seeing red hood more because red hood will just. appear and shadow santi when he’s walking home from work late, and helps santi out of a tight spot with some of falcone’s men at one point (we learn santi used to work for falcone a few years ago; he needed the money to put his older sister through med school. santi’s not involved with the mob anymore but the past dogs his heels sometimes). santi and red hood start hooking up, though hood still won’t show his face.

santi volunteers at an after-school literacy program (while taking night classes working toward a teaching certification). one day santi’s neighbor jay shows up to the bake sale fundraising for the after-school program, and they have a cute interaction until there’s a surprise rogue attack and the school goes on lockdown. jay disappears; red hood shows up minutes later, helping santi secure the kids before going after the rogue. red hood gets hurt and in the aftermath santi, patching him up, pieces together that red hood is his neighbor jay.

shortly after this santi gets kidnapped in public along with a random teenager (tim drake) who happened to intervene and get himself kidnapped too. the kidnappers saw santi and hood together after the rogue attack, so they’re trying to get information on hood out of santi. tim runs interference as best he can and takes a few hits as a distraction, and soon enough red hood shows up to dispatch the kidnappers. in the aftermath red hood is cold and snappish to tim (jason thinks tim was stalking santi) (to be fair, tim was) and this leads to santi learning a bit more about jason’s family. this also leads to jason breaking up with santi because it’s too dangerous (for santi) to associate with him.

santi does not agree with this decision, and there’s a lot of pining and angsting until they get their shit together over the course of another few months. coincidentally jason is reconciling with his family in the meanwhile and getting his feet under him emotionally.

once they’re together jason and santi are like. incredibly domestic. totally in rhythm with each other. somehow jason now has the healthiest most settled relationship of any bat.

meanwhile in blüdhaven, blue pops in from an alternate reality where the court of owls rules gotham. blue was taken as a child and turned into a talon; when he’s thrown into this universe, he’s free from the owls’ control for the first time. it’s a rough landing—he ends up being fished out of a dumpster by dick and even though blue runs away, he imprints hard on one dick grayson.

Tim (18 now) realizes his longtime crush on kon might be reciprocated; cue panicking.

tim lies his way into a gay club to Research (because nick always kind of mocked tim for not having dated any guys before him; tim thinks he will have one shot to not disappoint kon so he has to figure shit out). gets drunk, starts making out with someone who is not uhh handling him gently. gets spotted by jason and santi, who are there on what was supposed to be a fun date, and they intervene. at first jason is annoyed, thinking tim’s following him again, and then realizes something is Wrong. he and santi dispatch the asshole other guy, and they bring drunk tim back to crash on jason’s couch.

the next morning tim is hungover at jason’s and mortified. santi makes him sit and eat breakfast and tim is like i’m sorry, i wasn’t even following you guys this time, i swear. which leads to tim haltingly explaining the nick thing. santi and jason (who is lurking in the kitchen listening to this convo) don’t know who this ex guy is yet but they’re gonna kill him ❤️

tim’s net gain for this ill-fated excursion: one (1) splitting headache and one (1) new older brother unit.

meanwhile back in blüdhaven blue is slowly un-conditioning himself, keeping to the shadows, and leaving little gifts on dick’s windowsill. the gifts are like, keychains, a lost earring, a random postcard. all tend to be blue or have blue in them, so dick starts nicknaming this mysterious gift-giver blue.

during patrol a week later jason finds tim on a rooftop and has an awkward but earnest talk with tim about uhh. consent and healthy relationships and stuff okay yeah we’re never talking about this again but also if you ever need anything. call me right away or i’ll kill you. okay good talk.

blue gets invited inside dick’s apartment for the first time. god bless bluebird they’re in their own little world over here.

tim and kon kiss 😳

an anonymous, “scandalous” tabloid story from someone claiming to have dated tim drake-wayne drops. resulting fallout, salacious rumors abound about tim + the waynes, etc. also, obviously, bruce and the family find out about nick. jason and santi figure out who nick is and separately visit him to put the fear of god in him.

nick: what the fuck, are you with the guy from earlier? i got the message! tell that guy i’m moving to star city this fucking weekend!

red hood: what guy

nick: you know the, the guy with the earring and the tattoo and he said if i didn’t lose tim’s number and leave town i’d have an accident

red hood: huh. no, not related. so you never made a deal with me. bummer for you, i still get to break one of your arms.

(jason obviously realizes the other guy was santi so he goes home and climbs into bed where santi’s awake reading and he’s like “productive night?” and jason’s like “mmhm, and i heard you had a productive day” and santi shrugs and then jason kisses the hell out of him)

over in blüdhaven blue witnesses dick get really upset over something (this article) for the first time. dick says “i’m going to be away for a few days but you can stay here while i’m gone, okay?” (when dick returns blue isn’t there but dick’s apartment has been deep-cleaned) (this leads to dick insisting blue stay there more and more until they accidentally end up as roommates)

batfamily deals with the nick aftermath and much-needed convos are had with tim. this also brings santi more into the family fold because everyone approves of him essentially making nick shit his pants.

bruce, up to this point, has been kind of wary of santi solely because santi is NOT immediately impressed with bruce. santi sees bruce as being on thin ice until he gets proof that bruce is in fact doing his best as a parent and then they have a slightly more chill dynamic.

meanwhile in gotham, mid family crisis, dick is having his own crisis/rooftop breakdown with tim and jason about having feelings for blue and going through his gay awakening at the ripe age of 20something and jason is very upset that he has somehow become the to-go gay relationship advice sibling.

because yeah, between dick and jason, JASON’s relationship is the more normal/aspirational one for tim looking for like queer mentors. bluebird is great and perfect for them obviously but they are not a blueprint for anyone else.

dick: [sitting on blue’s shoulder after describing how blue wooed him with random tchotchkes on his windowsill and then moved into a corner of his living room for a month and—] anyway do as i say not as i do

dick literally let a secret organization-trained slightly undead assassin into his house for fun bc he got like a few cool rocks as a gift

if tim asked dick for advice dick would be like “oh shit you like-like him? i just thought you were really touchy friends”

no one should ask bruce for advice, ever

so here jason is, somehow the most stable gay of the family

by the time damian appears with his first crush jason is like [sighs] [gets out the powerpoint]

timkon officially get together!

aaaand then months later dick shows up to family dinner with a giant ex-talon in tow like “heyyyyy guys, so guess what—”

there are also plenty of fun post-timeline adventures like “blue and santi get kidnapped together to target nightwing and red hood; kidnappers regret this almost immediately” and “tim takes blue on restaurant adventures because blue really likes fancy food; one day they run into nick who says something nasty about tim and blue breaks nick’s wrist (tim’s net gain: another older brother unit)” and “santi is frantically trying to catch the bus one night and steps on one of poison ivy’s vines—whoops, it’s sex pollen; santi gets introduced to PAID forms” or, alternately, “jason gets hit with the poison ivy special and that’s how santi finds out he’s on jason’s PAID form” and “bruce and blue surprisingly get along very well and trade sparring tips (meanwhile, bruce is trying so hard to get santi to tolerate him and it’s slow going)” and also “dick realizes everyone else in the world knew he and blue were dating and in love six months before he did.”

extra content:

santi, blue, and kon end up in a robin bf support group gc. one day kon gets added to a group chat that’s just like [(372)846-XXXX and (124)234-XXXX has added you to a group chat] and nothing happens there for like 2 hours he’s just like 

kon: ?

kon: hello?

kon: is this spam? is there such a thing as spam gcs?

kon: am i getting blackmailed

kon: how did you get this number??

(blue added kon while santi is in school)

the gc also ends up nonstop unintentional comedy due to their communication styles. kon’s gen z (👍 = declaration of war) and santi is technologically elder millennial/boomer (thought 🙂 was a normal smiley until corrected)—but blue is none of the above. blue knows the nuances of every emoji but has no social rules for using them. he’s an emoji artist. he is unbound.

from @90kon, in a version of the timeline where santi hasn’t seen jason’s face/doesn’t know his name before their sort-of breakup:

after their not-yet-together-break-up they should have an argument. like santi confronts jason about him saying he doesn’t want this thing between them to go on but wont give santi an honest answer but also keeps lurking and santi cant move on like that. bc either he’s done with him or he’s not. and umm yeah jason is not rly saying much but eventually santi is like alright. just tell me this: do you want this or not? forget about everything else…do you want me? and santi barely has time to finish his question before jason says yes. in a tight voice. i want you so much it scares the shit out of me. and ummm well eventually santi is like look. you can have me. but i have conditions.

and he’s like. whatever idk uhh don’t lurk out my window unless you’re gonna come in. dont investigate me; if you want to know something, just ask. at the end he should say "and i need a name. it doesn't have to be your full name or anything, but i need to call you something other than red." and jason is quiet for so long santi sighs and is like. "yeah i didn’t actually think that one was gonna fly. whatever, forget i said--" and jason says "jay." like it just slips out of him. and santi stills, looks at him, and from the way jason said it he somehow knows it's real. it could be short for any number of names but it's real. so he repeats it. "jay."

family game night from @mammutblog:

collected OCBFEU tag

[OC boyfriends created in a lab by @90kon, @mammutblog, @cairoscene, @vinelark, @feyburner, @bluecrystalrainingdaggers!]

[smellss]

Prodded - Sam kerr x singer!reader social media au!

summary: things are about to get a little messy sadly it happens on social media…

sorry this is a bit of a filler chapter i really don’t know where i’m taking this story or whether i should leave it… (any ideas pls appriciates)

liked by emmawatson, tylerblackburn and 560,789

florencepugh: seeing you tonight is a bad idea right

emmawatson: gorgeous

floscrockpot: lol is this about y/n? @baby/n

baby/n: this is a big fat mess

user678: wtf this is so gay coded drama

livsguts: the olivia lyrics as well omg

tylerblackburn: omg can we be friends

liked by samanthakerr20, masiepeters, zendaya and 660,744

y/noffical: my new single feather comes out on friday 💌💌💌

zendaya: girl it’s absolutely incredible congrats bby ❤️

y/noffical: thank you my love

baby/n: omg the lyrics “i feel so much lighter like a feather with you out my life” FLO IS SOBBING RN

floscrockpot: wtf is y/n playing at! messing with flo not okay

baby/n: how is she messing her up she’s moving on

likedbyy/noffical

masiepeters: MY BABY GIRL

samanthakerr20: yours?

kerrleftboot: samantha samantha

y/nbaby: what the fuck

mummy/n: they aren’t even hiding their gay ass ong

liked by y/noffical, tilliesfandom and 780,987

marieclaire: Our most beautiful Y/n L/n for our June cover after finishing off her Australasian Tour 🇦🇺. Click the link below to hear her interview sharing all the goss of love and being back home!

INTERVIEW WITH MARIE CLAIRE

Interviewer: Hello gorgeous y/n lovely to see you again, or should I say welcome home! How’s the first couple of days been?

Y/n: I never thought i would miss the mozzies and the heat so much! But no it’s been wonderful to be back, as much as I enjoy the time away I have all my special people here.

Interviewer: So Y/n you’ve had an absolutely fabulous tour its been incredible but i was wanting to get a bit deeper with you. Your new single “Feather” is incredible, can you tell us more about the process of writing it?

Y/n: Of course, as the whole internet know by this point I went through a pretty big break up at the beginning of last year. This song just talks about how I've felt through the process and how I' d moved on.

Interviewer: Now social media plays a big part of anyone’s life but especially yours and taylor swifts, you both are always doing sneaky little hints to things. Now this week there’s been some chatter about someone in your past doing the same anything you’d like to say about that

Y/n: All I will say is that I’m very happy at the moment and am not going back in time to any memories or people.

Interviewer: Excellent! Last question for you today Y/n, you’ve shown your support for our nations team the Matilda’s at a couple of games of the FWWC now. I didn’t realise you were such a big fan of the sport?

Y/n: I should have expected this question really (laughs), look i’ve always enjoyed the sport but a couple of the girls have supported me at my shows and it’s the least I can do to reciprocate. They are very special people to me.

Interviewer: Anyone particularly special? (interviewer smirks and winks)

Y/n: Mmmmh I’ll keep my eye towards the front of the pitch (y/n laughs and winks with the interviewer)

liked by yser567, gossipbunny, baby/n and 67,890

dailymailaus: Spotted! Y/n L/n kissing secret girl following the celebration of her Australian tour finishing at a nightclub in Perth. Many fans speculate it is Matilda’s captain Sam Kerr after the two have been interacting on social media and a recent interview L/n did with Marie Claire. Click the link to discover more! 📸🔥

baby/n: that interview was so sweet but this is JUICY

floscrockpot: girl flo is literally in aus rn this could be her

baby/n: babe you’re delusional did not see y/ns most recent interview DONE 👏

user678: I wish they would just confirm it omg

samsleftboot: it makes sense they would want to keep it quiet they are both super busy tn however they aren’t doing a very good job hiding it.

mummy/n: my two girlfriends happy as can be

[katnisspeetaprim]

Secret's Out

Bang Chan/PlusSize!Reader

Summary: You and Chan were childhood sweethaerts, having known each other since you were babies. You've managed to keep your relationship secret, up until now.

Warnings: Plus size reader, fem reader, established relationship, idol!au, online hate, body image issues

Word Count: 2185 M.list

You and Chan were practically attached at the hip since birth. Your parents had always been close friends, so the two of you naturally spent a lot of your childhood around one another.

You could even go as far to say that the two of you were childhood sweethearts, considering you would run around holding hands, and kissing each other on the cheek when you were toddlers.

The two of you officially got together at age 16,  when he was a trainee in Korea. Considering you were still kids at the time, you both made long distance work pretty well. Plus it didn’t hurt that you had amazing parents, who funded your many trips to and from Korea, multiple times a year.

The day you were finally able to up root your life and move to Korea permanently to be with Chan, was one of the best days of your life.

You’d managed to get lucky with YouTube, and amass a big following of a couple million. Being able to live comfortably because of a following you created, made you feel super proud of yourself.

Chan of course made secret accounts so he could secretly support you. Though there was one time he accidentally liked one of your Tweets from the official Stray Kids account, but he realised almost immediately and quickly unliked the Tweet. To this day, you are pretty sure nobody managed to catch the slip up.

Of course the public knew nothing of your relationship. He couldn’t even meet you at the airport, since chances were that someone would recognise at least one of you, and people would put two and two together.

Over the years, Chan had turned into an excellent example of a man. He was a gentleman through and through, always putting others before himself, not to mention all the hard work he’d put into his body.

You on the other hand, although you were healthy, you’d always been a little on the bigger side. Your body image was one of the biggest things you had to work on when you began your YouTube career.

You still didn’t love your figure, but you had learnt to just ignore the hate comments.

‘Chan! Oh my god that was amazing!’ You embraced Chan as soon as he was backstage, having just performed at lollapalooza, Paris.

‘Really? Did you not see me rip my pants?’ He laughed and returned your embrace. The other boys skirted round the two of you, all still high on the adrenaline from the show.

‘Hey noona! Why don’t we all get this treatment when we get of stage?’ Changbin smirked as he walked past.

‘Find a way to turn into Chan then we’ll talk.’ You shot back over your shoulder with a laugh.

‘Don’t tease the kids.’ Chan held back a laugh as he settled his hands on your hips. You turned back to him and gave a soft smile. Chan smiled back and leaned down to press a quick kiss to your lips.

‘C’mon. Let’s get to the dressing room. I think we have food in there.’ Chan pulled back, but placed his ar round your shoulders, guiding you away.

Little did you know, someone was filming the whole interaction from across the wing...

You and Chan were blissfully unaware that someone had filmed your little moment together. That was until a few weeks later when you were back in Korea.

You were live on stream when the video dropped.

You were in the middle of playing a video game, when you noticed something in the chat that made the blood drain from your face. People were talking about Chan.

‘Why are you guys talking about Stray Kids all of a sudden?’ You tried to play it cool , but it’s clear that your chat saw right through you.

Fan1: Girl how could you keep that from us!?

Fan2: How long!?

Fan3: How did you bag a guy like that...

Fan4: We know about you and Bang Chan.

The game was long forgotten now, just left on the pause screen as you stared intently at your chat. You watched as messages kept pouring through. Some were just as confused as you were , but most seemed to be privy to information you didn’t have.

You didn’t know what to say. How could people know about your relationship. Without a word, you just shut down the live and slumped down in your chair.

With shaky hands, you picked up your phone and noticed one of your moderators had sent you a message containing a video link.

Your breath hitched in your throat when you saw the video. It was a grainy, shaky video, but you could quite clearly see that it was you and Chan in the video. Phones had been banned from the backstage area of Lollapalooza, so you both thought it would be safe to share a moment together...

The phone suddenly started ringing in your hand, startling you slightly. Chan’s name flashed across the screen. You didn’t even get a chance to say hello when you answered.

‘Have you seen!?’ His voice was slightly higher pitch than usual, a dead giveaway that he was nervous.

‘Yeah, just now... Chan what do we do?’ your voice was barely above a whisper, but Chan had no clue what to say to you.

‘We should have been more careful...’ You shouldn’t have scoffed but you couldn’t stop yourself.

‘Bit late for that now, isn’t it?’ Chan was silent on the other end, you could just hear his quiet breathing. You sighed and dropped your head onto your hand.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t snap at you.’

‘It’s ok. I know you didn’t mean it.’

‘Are we in trouble?’ You mumbled. Chan chuckled dryly.

‘Well the company isn’t pleased we let it slip, but we technically haven’t done anything wrong so I think we’re ok..’

‘Ok...’ You replied, not entirely convinced.

‘Look babe, I need to go. Everything is a little crazy right now, but I’ll see you tonight, ok?’

‘Ok. I love you. Don’t stress to much.’

‘Love you too babe, but you know me.’ He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. You both said goodbye and hung up.

You groaned and looked down at your phone, as notifications began to pour in at an alarming rate. You knew you shouldn’t be curious, but you wanted to so badly know what people were thinking.

Fan1: How did a pig like that manage to seduce our Channie?

Fan2: she’s way too fat for him.

Fan3: Chan deserves better.

Fan4: People being mean to her are disgusting. Chan is clearly happy...

Fan5: Of course she’s a YouTuber... Probably just using him for views.

-----Fan6: How so when she’s been a YouTuber years before now?

Fan7: I want a man to look at me like that :(

Pig... fat...deserves better... You were used to nasty comments, but when it came to your weight, especially when it came to your relationship... It just hit different.

You suddenly found yourself hyper aware of your own body, how big your stomach and thighs were. Plus some clothes did feel a little tighter in recent days. Chan said he’d see you later, but you suddenly felt the need to hear his voice. You held he phone to your ear and nervously bit at your thumb nail.

Ring...ring...ring... call ended.

Your heart sank when he didn’t answer. You sighed quietly to yourself. Not wanting to disturb him anymore, you were about to go drown your sorrows, when a text came through. A lump formed in your throat when you read what it said.

Chan: I said I was busy right now. We’ll talk later.

Tears suddenly welled up in your eyes at his dismissal. Getting up, you trudged your way to the bedroom in defeat. For the first time in almost 10 years, you started doubting your relationship with Chan. Maybe you really weren’t good enough to him.

‘Hey hyung, Y/N just tried to ring you.’ Hyunjin almost didn’t want to approach his leader right now. the energy he was giving off was negative to say the least.

Chan was a bit all over the place all things considered, not to mention he had managers and supervisors pulling at him from all directions to figure out what to do.

Needless to say, the man was stressed. Also angry, and an angry Chan was a scary Chan.

Chan let out an annoyed sigh and practically snatched the phone from Hyunjin. He quickly typed a message to you and threw the phone down with a clatter.

As soon as the phone left his hands, he lowered his head onto his palms. Hyunjin shared a look with Felix who was sat near Chan. The other boys were scattered round the room, not wanting to crowd their leader right now.

‘Hyung, are you ok?’ Felix prodded gently. Chan peered up from his hands and shot him a piercing glare.

‘Ok yeah. Stupid question.’ Felix laughed nervously, fidgeting in his seat.

‘Sorry. I shouldn’t take my anger out on you.’ Felix shook his head and placed a comforting hand on Chans shoulder.

‘Don’t worry about it. You’ve every right to be angry.’

‘Do I though? We should have been more careful.’ He mumbled to himself.

‘phones shouldn’t have been back there. This isn’t your fault hyung.’ Hyunjin piped back up, wanting to try to make the older man feel a little better.

‘Yeah...’ Chan looked away and down at  the table. Felix and Hyunjin shared a look and was about to talk again, when at that moment a manager walked back into the room.

‘Alright. We’ve done all the damage control we can do for now. Go home Chan.’ That caught the other boys attention.

‘Why’s he being punished? He’s done nothing wrong!’ Changbin butted in and frowned deeply and the other members were nodding in agreement.

The manager immediately back peddled, not wanting to deal with 7 angry members right now. He pinched the bride of his now with an exasperated sigh.

‘He’s not in trouble, but there’s no use staying here and getting more stressed.’ Chan wordlessly agreed, getting up and gathering his things before bee lining to the door.

‘Oh by the way.’ The manager called after him. ‘We’re releasing a statement tonight!’

(line break)

You stood before the full length mirror in the bedroom with your shirt off, scrutinizing your own body.

Turning to the side, your hands ran along your stomach and your heart sank at what you saw.

Maybe the comments were right. How could Chan find you attractive when he looked the way he did. He’d be more happier with someone else, maybe another idol.

Just as thoughts began swimming through your mind, the bedroom door swung open with a slam.

You let out a startled scream and tried to cover yourself as you spun round, only to immediatley calm when you saw Chan standing in the doorway.  You had been so caught up in your head, you hadn’t even heard the front door open.

‘Chan! Wha-‘ Before you could finish your sentance, Chan was across the room and pulling you into a much needed hug.

‘I’m so sorry..’ He mumbled into your neck. You slowly ran your hands over his arms, and placed your own round his body.

‘Why are you sorry?’ You whispered back.

‘It’s my fault. I should have been more careful in public...’

‘Don’t be silly. You couldn’t have known someone would break the rules.’ You pulled back to see his face and gave him a sad smile.

He looked back to you but he didn’t smile.

‘I saw what people were saying about you online...’ Your smile faltered as you tried to play it off. You unconsciously looked down at yourself suddenly remembering you were still just in your underwear.

‘Ah...yeah. Don’t worry-‘

‘You know it’s not true right!?’ He cut you off quickly, knowing you would play the situation down.

‘I don’t want anyone else. You’re beautiful and perfect the way you are!’ You looked down, feeling awful that you couldn’t fully believe him.

Chan cupped your cheeks and forced you to look up at him once again.

‘Please believe me... I love you so much baby.’ He started placing light kisses across your face as your eyes began to water.

‘I love you too...’ You tightened your grip around the man and squeezed your eyes shut.

He whispered sweet nothings in your ear an gently ran his fingers along the curve of your back, as the two of you stood in a warm embrace.

You didn’t stream for a few days after that day. Both you and Chan had gone radio silent, not wanting to add more fuel to the fire. Hopefully people will calm down eventually, and then maybe you would feel more comfortable sharing your story with the world. Heck, if Chan was comfortable, you may even do streams together on your channel, but it all came down to what Stay thought of you at the end of this mess.

[madsblogsstuff]

heaven - joe burrow x reader (pt. 1)

INSPO:

She was innocence. A perfectly painted picture created by only the greatest higher-ups. She was the sheer image of flawless and excellence all wrapped up in a human body, and she was standing right in front of my own two eyes. Y/n Taylor - our Coach, Zac Taylor’s daughter was nothing short of gorgeous. Every-time she smiled or talked had me wanting more, and more. I couldn’t get enough of her. I knew she was destined to be mine. She was heaven on earth.

———————————————————————-

I woke up in my dorm still sore from the football game last night. As much as I love being an LSU Tiger Girl, my body still disagreed with all the intricate dance routines we do for game-days. Just something I’ll never get used to in all my years of dancing, I suppose. Yet, the pain was worth the screams of the crowd when we hit our final 8-counts and all the recognition we are able to get from the way our bodies move - in a good way. LSU and dance were traits I don’t think I could ever get rid of. Baton Rouge was my home now, and a damn good one if I do say so myself. 

I decided to clamber my way out of the lifted twin bed and get a start with my day. I opened the blackout curtains to the bright Louisiana sun, shinning its way into the small room. My roommate, Kelsey, had already left early in the morning to go see family for the day. Yes, Baton Rouge is a good home - but it would still be just as amazing if I had some family that lived here. I wish I could go see family like Kelsey did, but the fact that my family lived about 4 states over; prevented me from seeing them as often as I would like. It also prevented them from being in the stands on LSU game-days. Which meant they weren’t able to see what I worked so hard to become, why I chose dance as a sport. It made me upset, with it being my rookie year and no family to come watch every Saturday, but I have amazing teammates and friends who make up for it. 

Now, I don’t blame my parents harshly for missing game days. My dad stays busier than a squirrel in a nut factory, but both him and mom try to be here whenever they can. My dad, the one and only Zac Taylor, is the new head coach of the Cincinnati Bengals. So yeah, I really can’t blame him for not being here on game days. After making my way to the rooms private bathroom; I decided to take a nice long shower to wash away the hairspray, dried sweat, and body glitter that had invaded every bit of my skin. Turning off the water, I grabbed my towel and dried off. After doing necessary hygiene and hair styling, I put on an LSU shirt, black shorts and my white tennis shoes. The weather was about as hot as hell in Louisiana and the dorms can get pretty stuffy at times, so I always try to stay as cool as possible. I was finishing up putting my jewelry on when my phone started to ring.

“Hello?” I picked up not even bothering to look at the contact name. 

“Honey! It’s so good to hear your voice again!” A joyful voice spread from the phone to my ears and my mouth grew into a huge smile.

“Mom! It’s great to hear your voice again to. What’s going on?” I responded back, starting to miss my mom a little more than I already had been.

“Oh nothing really hun, I should be asking you what’s going on after that huge win last night! Your dad and I got to watch some it and even got to see you dance some - well from what the cameras would show”  My heart swelled, mom and dad were actually watching for me last night.

“I’m glad y’all could see me dance some, I wish you guys could be here. I miss y’all” I said, wishing I could be with my mom and dad right now.

“We miss you so much Y/n, I’m honestly still not use to seeing your bedroom empty” I heard my moms tone change. I hated hearing and seeing my mom get upset, but I know me living so far away took a toll on her.

I opened my mouth to respond, but then my mom started talking again. “Wait, how many classes do you have this week? And do you have practice any?” She questioned.

I looked over at my desk calendar checking to see if this upcoming week was busy. “Uhm, I actually only have one in person class this week on Thursday and no practice this week because it’s an off week, Why?” I questioned back.

“Why don’t your dad and I buy you a plane ticket and you come up and spend the week at home!” My eyes lit up in excitement, going to Cincinnati sounded great right now.

“Really? You guys would do that for me?” I said, surprising myself that I was able to form that sentence without screaming in happiness.

“Of course hun, I’m going to go tell your dad and get that ticket! Would you be good with leaving tonight?” 

“Yes, that sounds great! Whatever gets me to y’all the fastest!” I don’t even think happy is the word to describe my mood right now.

“Yay! I’ll text you the ticket and everything else as soon as I get it Y/n. I love you sweetheart, I can’t wait to see you!” My mom squealed into my ear. 

“Okay mom, I love you and can’t wait to see you too!” After that we said our goodbyes and I had some bags to pack.

I shoot Kelsey a text saying I had a last minute trip to Cincinnati and probably wouldn’t be here when she got back. I let her know when I’d be back and that if she needed anything - to call. I grabbed some duffel bags and started packing up whatever I had, still in shock that I was going to be able to see my parents. Even though it had only been a few months since I last saw them, being separated from them made it feel like years. 

Mom ended up sending my plane ticket about thirty minutes after our call had ended. I was departing at 7 tonight, and with it only being 11 in the morning - I had some time to kill till I needed to leave for the airport. I continued packing when my phone buzzed.

Coach Dad

Miss you lil bit ❤️ so glad you’re coming home. Let me know when you get to the airport.

Love, Dad.

I smiled at his text. He still felt the need to sign off his texts like a letter, even after the countess times of me telling him ‘people don’t do that’. Ever since my dad took the head coach position of the Bengals, I don’t have much time to see or talk to him. So, I cherish any moment I am able to get with him. Hopefully this trip would allow me to get even closer to my parents - especially my dad.

———————————————————————-

I threw all my bags in the back of my car and hopped into the drivers seat. I cranked up the car, pulled out of my dorm buildings parking lot and made the quick 20 minute drive to the airport. 

Upon arriving to the airport, it was only 4:45 p.m. - so I had time to get checked in, go through TSA and chill before my flight. Dad always said to ‘get to the airport extremely early, just incase’ although it was annoying when we flew when I was younger. I was never known to be an early bird, so leaving at 4 a.m. for 10 a.m. flights when I was a kid was dreadful. I still remember when we moved to Cincinnati, I was a bit younger when we moved but the flight over was one of those 4 a.m. deals. I texted dad and mom that I arrived at the airport and got out of the car to grab my bags. I checked in at the first desk I saw and then walked down the incredibly long terminal. ‘Why did airports have to be so big?’ I thought as my feet started to drag. I reached my boarding area and went through TSA - thankfully not having to be stopped to be patted down. After TSA, I was free to roam till the flight boarded. I wasn’t really hungry and airport food is expensive, so I don’t think I’ll get food - plus it was only a 3 hour flight, so I would just eat whatever they provide on the plane. I decided to sit down and scroll on my phone, trying to waste time. I looked at the texts my parents had sent back about my flight and to text them when I took off and landed, so I responded back to those first.

I then opened my Instagram and started to scroll through and like what was on my feed. Photos ranged from LSU posts to something my friends had posted the day before. After scrolling for a minute, a Cincinnati Bengals post popped up on my feed. Yes, I did follow the Bengals account but I never really kept up with them - I was always too invested in LSU to even think twice about the team dad coached. Plus since dad had only started coaching them this year, I really didn’t keep up with them - I hadn’t even gone to a game yet. The post consisted of introducing their rookies and their stats after the first few games. First slide: Tee Higgins - Wide Receiver, Second slide: Logan Wilson - Linebacker, Slide three: Akeem Brian- Davis - Linebacker, Fourth and final slide: Joe Burrow - Quarterback.

Joe Burrow. Joe Burrow. Joe Burrow. I repeated his name in my head over and over, but where had I heard it from? I decided to look this Burrow kid up and to say I was shocked was underplaying it.

Joe Burrow - Heisman Trophy Winner 2019!

Joe Burrow Drafted First Pick for Cincinnati Bengals!

Joe Burrow and LSU win 2019 National Championship!

Joe Burrow. The name made sense now. Joe Burrow. The dude was a fucking legend at LSU… and he just so happened to be playing for my dads team. I remember hearing people talk about him when I first arrived at LSU, especially the girls. I guess I’ve never put two and two together till now. I looked at pictures of him. I’ll give it to him - he was pretty cute, but from what I’ve heard he had a reputation at LSU; specifically a fuck-boy one. 

I looked up more about Burrow. Something about him was so interesting to me, I couldn’t figure out what it was though. I’m honestly surprised no one had asked me about him yet because of my dad - but I guess since dad was new, nobody really knew I was his daughter. 

Looking at his pictures more made notice how Joe looked absolutely angelic… like something from heaven. I shouldn’t get caught up in obsessing over him though. He had a bad reputation at LSU and most likely now, and I needed to keep mine a clean slate. I was attending school on a full ride athletic scholarship because of dance - being that the LSU Tiger Girls recruited me for their squad without even having to tryout.

If I ever got into an entanglement with a guy like Joe Burrow then there’s no telling what it would do to my character. There’s no way a guy that looks like Joe would step foot in my direction though. I’m the coaches daughter, so if he ever did figure out about me then I’d probably be way off limits…and he’d be totally out of my league.

After all my research and pondering, the airport intercom called over to say my flight was boarding. I grabbed my carry on bag from beside my chair and made my way to the tunnel outside of the plane, making sure to text my parents that we were boarding and going to leave soon. Once the other passengers and I were boarded and sat in our seats, the pilot went over the basic rules of plane, what to do in an emergency, and all the extra details. Once he finished and the plane was ready, we were good for take-off. As I relaxed in my seat and looked out my window at the runway lights, I couldn’t help but think about three things: Cincinnati, my parents, and Joe Burrow.

———————————————————————-

first part ever! ah so excited - i hope this turns out to be all i wanted in a fanfic, and i hope you guys enjoy it! <3

[boobabietch]

Chapter I: "From College Phenom to WNBA Superstar: The Victoria O’Hara Story" | Diana Taurasi x OC

Warnings: Kinda narcissistic, kinda obsessed Victoria (excuse my girl she just wants to do good)

A/N: first chapter baby let’s fucking goooo, I’m so so excited about this series and I cannot wait for you guys to read it. As always English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes (I wrote this super high so there’s probably some) please let me know so I can change them asap, comments are highly appreciated, please let me know what you think! My ask box is always open too. Love Sof :))

Making headlines masterlist

There’s a funny thing about being a woman in sports, and it’s that being good is not enough.

When I was first drafted to the W, my back was in agonizing pain, breaking under the weight of everyone’s expectations. Having an excellent college career made the country ache with the need to see me play with the big dogs, some rooting for my success, but most of them patiently waiting for my imminent downfall. I struggled; climbing up that fucking hill was hard. But everything became easier once my mind was blinded with rage, and that anger had a name: Diana motherfucking Taurasi.

Growing up she was everything I aspired to be. She made it all look so easy, so effortless, and I wanted that. And the thing is, I’m not an aggressive person, not even a bad one. I bake for my teammates every Friday, I have friends all over the league, little girls want my shoes after the games and their grown fathers want my ass, teenage girls even write about me on Tumblr, for fuck's sake! I am perfectly fine!

Until that fucking game.

May 19, 2017

My rookie season. We faced Phoenix for the first time. The air was thick with anticipation, and I couldn’t shake the feeling in my gut that nobody on that arena came to see me.

There she was.

Diana was there, larger than life, owning the court like she owned the entire damn league. And the truth was, she did.

I knew this moment was coming, but nothing could’ve prepared me for actually standing across from her. She locked eyes with me during warm-ups, her face impassive, like I wasn’t even worth her time. I looked around and every person was the same, nobody really came to see me, not even my team. That’s when I realized that being good at the game it’s not enough, you have to play another type of game if you want people to see you, and I was determined to make them beg for more of me.

That was all it took. I felt something rise inside of me, a mix of insecurity and pure terror, and from that moment, the only thing I wanted more than winning was beating her. Proving her wrong.

And that’s where all the shit unraveled.

It wasn’t just the basketball. It was personal. Every shot I took, every time I drove the lane, I wasn’t just thinking about the score, I was thinking about her. The way she moved. How her voice echoed through the arena when she barked orders to her team. I hated how much I was drawn to it, to her.

My teammates tried to talk me down, “Vico, chill you’re obsessing,” Sydney said. But they didn’t get it. Diana Taurasi was my benchmark, my North Star. My fire, I wanted what she had and in order to get it she was the one to beat. Every game after that I took it as duel, a fight for dominance. I was determined to make her see me, to make her acknowledge that I wasn’t just some rookie passing through, because if she knew that, then everybody would know that I was Victoria fucking O’Hara, and I was coming for the crown, her crown.

And I was doing a hell of a job:

"Rising Star: Victoria O'Hara Leads All Rookies in Scoring and Rebounds"

"WNBA newest princess? O’Hara’s Rookie Season Proves She’s a Force to Be Reckoned With"

"Victoria O’Hara Makes Waves: Record-Breaking Rookie Season Captivates Fans and Analysts"

But it never seemed to be enough, until…

July 7, 2017

It was after another grueling game. We lost by three points, but I played the game of my life. I was exhausted, mentally and physically, slumped on the bench, trying to catch my breath. And someone towered over me.

Someone I was very aware of.

“Not bad, O’Hara. Keep it up, and you might actually be a challenge someday.”

My stomach twisted.

I stared at her for a weirdly amount of time, unsure how to respond. Hell, was she mocking me? Or was this some twisted form of respect?

Before I could think too much, I snapped back:

“Someday? I’m already a problem for you.”

Fuck, that sounded way harsher than I intended.

I saw her look at her shoes, clicking her tongue before staring at me again, a smirk plastered in her face begging to be slapped it out “Of course you are”

And that’s it. She left.

July 30, 2017:

We were playing again, and the tension was unbearable. Everyone could feel it. Diana was all over the place, controlling the game like she always did, like she owned it. But this time? I wasn’t letting her have it. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of thinking she still ran the show. I needed this moment. I needed to prove myself. To her. To everyone.

Then, in the third quarter, it happened.

I saw her coming. Her eyes were locked on me like a damn predator, and I wasn’t backing down. I made a drive, quick and sharp, cutting to the basket with everything I had. I was going to score, but she had other plans. She slammed into me, body on body, knocking me off my path like I was nothing. I hit the floor hard, my elbows burning from the impact. The whistle blew, and I stayed down for a second, rage boiling under my skin.

"Get up," she muttered, standing over me like she owned the place. "You’re gonna need more than that to take me down, rook."

The audacity. I pushed myself up, heart pounding in my chest, glaring straight at her. I was chest to chest with the legend, staring into her eyes, and for the first time, I wasn’t intimidated. I was pissed. “You think you’re untouchable? Just fucking wait.”

She smirked, like she’d heard it all before. Like she didn’t even have to try. "I don’t think, O’Hara. I know," she spat back, her voice dripping with arrogance.

That was it. That was the moment I snapped. "Oh, you’re just a fucking bitch, aren’t you?" The words flew out before I could stop them, and I shoved her, hard.

The arena erupted in chaos.

Before I knew it, she was lunging at me, ready to push me back. But our teammates were faster, grabbing us before we could even make contact. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, my fists clenched, ready to throw. But the second I tried to break free, I was held back by a wall of arms pulling me away from her.

It took four players to hold me back. Four.

Diana wasn’t any better off. Her teammates were holding her down too, but I could see it in her eyes. She wanted this fight as much as I did. There was fire there, the same fire I felt burning inside me. She wasn’t just here to win; she was here to prove a point. But so was I.

We both struggled against the hands holding us back, trying to break free, trying to get at each other. My muscles ached with the effort of pushing forward, but no matter how hard I fought, it wasn’t happening. I could almost feel the impact of my fist hitting her. The unfinished fight burned inside me, an itch that couldn’t be scratched.

I didn’t give a shit about the cameras or the refs. I didn’t care about the technical they were about to call. All I cared about was making her feel this rage, this fire that she had sparked inside me. I wanted her to know that she wasn’t untouchable. That I wasn’t just another rookie.

Finally, the refs managed to pull us apart, forcing us to opposite sides of the court. My chest heaved with adrenaline, but I wasn’t done. I looked back at her, catching her eyes one more time. That damn smirk still on her face. But I knew she saw me now. I knew she felt it too.

The fight wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

That was the moment I realized. Diana Taurasi wasn’t just another player to beat. She was the one. The one I had to take down. And maybe, just maybe, she’d finally met someone who could.

Fucking Diana.

"Rivalry Ignites: O’Hara and Taurasi Get into Fiery Altercation During Friday Game"

San Antonio Stars Victoria O’Hara Adidas Grey and Black Edition Player Jersey | SOLD OUT

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Massterlist

[naranjapetrificada]

The first thing I should ever have said about Izzy and the last thing I intend to say until at least October 26th.

[Although I am not Her strongest soldier, so who knows if I will stick the landing.]

So to start with, I was a "late" arrival to the show. I knew it existed of course, but I only occasionally saw things that reminded me it existed. The first time I saw a mention of "grumpy/sunshine" it was with a picture of Ed and Stede, so I guess on some level I knew there was shipping going on, but that was literally all I knew. I didn't even know it involved Blackbeard lol.

Which is all to say that I first approached and watched season 1 removed from basically anything anyone had to say about it. I think what actually got me to watch it wasn't anything anyone had to say either, it was from youtube recommendations? Like I think I had watched a couple Taika interviews or something and ofmd stuff started showing up? So after catching a few clips and intentionally spoiling the kiss for myself (life is too short to be queerbaited) I watched it in April/May 2023, and was Changed by it the way so many other people were. It grabbed me so hard I started looking for fics, and when fic grabbed me even harder I became a regular tumblr user for the first time ever in June 2023.

What I didn't do, before the second half of 2023, was care particularly much about Izzy Hands.

I remember describing him as psychologically fascinating to the first IRL friend I talked to about the show, and joking that he just needed a good dom. As much as his decision to call in the navy was a threat to Stede's and Ed's lives, I saw his actions as part of a thing needed for the story, and while I knew he was one of the season's villains there wasn't really any heat behind that assessment.

For me he was there to set things in motion, and to serve the narrative in certain ways, to be a foil, more storytelling tool than man. That doesn't mean I didn't think Con did an excellent job adding layers to him, he absolutely made Izzy take up space and feel more present and textured than he otherwise might have. But when I began to zoom out and consider things on meta level, Izzy existed to do a certain thing or occupy a certain place in relation to the narrative and other characters more than anything else. And that was fine.

Then I started reading meta here, and found myself surrounded by passionate conversations about Izzy from many directions occurring with an intensity that I couldn't wrap my brain around. I saw people tying themselves into knots to justify and excuse the behavior of a textual antagonist, and I was baffled and because I still saw Izzy for what his role in the narrative was, it literally made no sense to see his behavior explained away. In the framework I brought to the fandom when I first arrived, trying to explain away Izzy's behavior would be like looking at a forest fire and trying to explain away processes like combustion and oxidation. Or if you'll allow me to borrow another extended, nature-based metaphor from a fic in an entirely different fandom:

Again, because from where my head was at, it didn't make sense to look at Izzy's morality as a zero sum game because in this metaphor, he was functionally just a brackish body of water. I'm not saying the morality is brackish, I'm saying the morality was literally not the point because like an estuary, an antagonist "must exist" because antagonists exist for specific reasons directly related to storytelling goals.

So there was no real heat behind my feelings about him or his actions, beyond the natural emotional reactions we have to characters and their behaviors before we zoom out. I was of course upset with his treatment of Lucius, which was targeted compared to other members of the crew. I was annoyed with the way he talked to and about Ed. I laughed when his plans had the equal and opposite results of what he intended, which you could argue happened with every single plan he made for the entirety of season 1. And yes, especially as a Black person living in the US, I felt the fear and betrayal that comes from seeing someone call the cops (which given the show and its writers, it does not feel like a stretch to describe calling the navy that). I wondered if there was any coming back from a choice like that, which is a big overriding question for the series as a whole.

I'm not here to debate any of the points in the previous paragraph. I know how I feel and you feel how you feel and there's already been so much said about the morality of it all by people who have explained themselves well, so let them convince you or not. Instead I've been trying to talk about the two sides of my experience before and after getting into the fandom with Izzy.

Before: Izzy Hands, Narratively Useful Antagonist Portrayed Compellingly And Effectively by Con O'Neill.

After: Izzy Hands, Unfortunate Avatar Of The Sadly Common Tendency For Certain Fans To Hyperfocus On A White Antagonist Or Secondary Character When There Already Exists A Protagonist They're A Foil Of (And Also It Looks Bad TO Do That When The Protagonist Is Someone With A Marginalized Identity).

I'm not here to argue the merits of those assessments either, because that's not the point. The point is the vast gulf between them and how the latter does such an incredible disservice to the Izzy we were given and that so many people claim to love. The latter comes from a place where morality is the focus, which I'm sorry y'all, feels like it originates with people who refuse to countenance Izzy's role in the story as well as his characterization.

Viewers who were willing to see Izzy as an antagonist, who don't view the word "antagonist" as a value judgement in and of itself, who don't think that finding an antagonist charismatic or compelling means anything about their own morality, those people can look at the show we were given and take it for what it was made to be. I'm not saying that it's only the Izzy stans (not enjoyers, not jar people) who start fights or that people who understand that Izzy is an antagonist don't also have deep morality related feelings about him and his actions in the first season. What I am saying is that sanding off Izzy's rough edges and trying to make him into something he isn't poisons even the possibility of having a discussion about him because people enter the conversation with two completely different understandings of reality. If you cannot accept the job that season 1 Izzy was given to do to move the story along, well you might as well have watched a completely different show for how much that fanon Izzy has anything to do with the canon one.

This show deserves better than that. The writers deserve better than that. Con O'Neill deserves better than that. Israel Basilica Hands deserves better than that. We all do.