#i had fun though!!! ill go again next week

[apricote]

went swimming today!!! swam like 500m and my body hurts

[hereforthehitsbaby]

Good to be Back | Cooper Adams/Abbott x F!Reader

Synopsis: You have lived across from the Adams' for what feels like ever, since you started your bachelor's degree. You notice Rachel's car peeling out of the driveway with such force it causing the ground to shake. Before you could escape back into your home, your eyes connect with Cooper's. "Care for a drink?"

Warnings: Language, Infidelity, Rough Sex, Bondage, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M! Receiving, PIV sex, Implied Age Gap (legal), Mention of Disappearances, Spanking, Choking, Daddy Kink (Heavy), F!Reader, Mentions of The Butcher

Rating: M

Author's Note: Fandom hopper oh my god...but I cannot stop thinking about Cooper Adams!!

Word Count: 5K

Tagging Moots: @rubyfruitjungle @babygorewhore @cherryinterlude @vamplreslayer (If you do want to be tagged going forth, please let me know! If not, I can remove you! (: )

If you would like to be tagged for my fics, please fill this out

Invisible. The notion itself holds mystery. One not being seen by the world, but observing all of the tactics. It's the equivalent of being a ghost, or a fly on the wall; taking in every moment, every conversation. It can be useful, but also can be deadly. One small slip up and it was forever embedded in the air. There was no way to escape the truth when it slipped through intoxicated mouths - or fake bodies. But there is a perk to knowing everyone's dirt. Easy to manipulate, and easy to interject.

That is how your next door neighbor is, but you have no idea.

It has been so long since you were last home, God it must have been an eternity. After graduation you wanted - no needed - to get away. Something about being stuck in Philly made you ill. When the opportunity arose to get the fuck out you hopped ship faster than you were brought into this world. The freedom, independence; sights to see and a life of adventure to live. You thought that is how it would be, you were wrong.

College life wasn't as everyone made it out to be. You should've known it was bullshit from when you first stepped on campus, your roommate fucking some random on your bed. It set the entire tone, first it was your bed getting defiled, then it was your desk. Before you could even process what was happening, your life took a complete turn. That one frat party.

That's a moment you hate remembering. It was fun but the aftermath was scary enough. You were always warned about frat parties, what could arise. But being a young, naïve student you had everything stacked against you. This didn't even happen in your freshman year, but your senior. Every time these guys were throwing a shindig you found yourself buried in schoolwork - wanting nothing more than to let these dude’s fuck off. With your final year coming into play you wanted to branch out, though you wished you hadn't.

The party was fuzzy, all you remember was what you were told. But it happened so quickly - one day you're a wallflower and the next, the talk of campus. Eyes burned holes into your soul with every step you took, every glance was directed at you. You couldn't handle it. Something needed to happen, you begged to whoever was listening to give these guys the revenge they deserved. The things that they did, what was said - someone needed to take them down. In fact it only took a week, and your prayers were answered.

It was freeing, hearing around campus how those four dude’s just disappeared. Poof, out of existence. The matter was dropped; life was normal again. Curiosity got the best of you when you heard their names, exactly who did you wish to for this to happen? Like everything else in life it all slips away, becoming of the past. Life ticked on with its duties - you couldn't let go. From the beginning to the end everything went by quickly; a college graduate and ready to take on the world.

Graduating was suppose to mean getting your dream job, working in the field that you loved - but everything took time. As you packed up your car with the memories of the last four years, you couldn't help but reminisce. Four years worth of memories and mistakes, tucked away in the cheapest cardboard boxes. Why did life have to change so much when you were just getting comfortable again? Although you will miss college it was a good riddance, now you could prep yourself for the world.

It wasn't ideal to head back to your hometown but, it was needed. Your family hasn’t seen you in a while, plus job searching is better when you don't have to pay for room and board, especially in this economy. The four hour drive felt like an hour, tunes blasting through the car as you head back into the vortex. Your hometown felt like it was a time warp, one giant forcefield keeping everyone and everything in. Breaching that meant coming to terms that you, as well, might be stuck. Only for a few months, that's it.

As you turned down your old street, it felt like something straight out of a movie - it looked fake. Perfect houses with perfect families, this was some Truman show shit if you have ever seen it. Before you could get wrapped up in conspiracies, you saw your home - smiling softly as you rounded the corner. Pulling into the driveway there was a heavy shroud on your chest - things were out of place. Fixating on the note from the garage door you saw only a glimmer of what it said:

Going to be out of town for a month for our retirement trip. Love you, be safe!

“Great”, you thought. Just when you wanted to see your family they were gone. There was something naughty about having the house all to yourself, not worrying about anyone barging in. A smirk spread across your lips whilst shutting your car off, wrapping your lanyard in your palm. Breaking you out of your thoughts was the door slamming, screaming followed behind. It was instinctual to not be nosy, but let's face it. As you slid out of the driver's seat, you slowly reached for the backdoor - peering over to see who exactly was yelling. For a split second you caught the image of a man and woman yelling at one another while a boy and a girl sat in the backseat. Cocking an eyebrow, you leaned forward a bit more to peer out your back window.

Cooper Adams and his wife Rachel were exchanging some very colorful words, your eyes shot wide open at their argument. It felt wrong to listen in, but they didn't have to know. You bit your top lip in anticipation of what he would say next, but before the argument could officially commence, Rachel was slamming the driver’s door - and speeding so fast out of the driveway it left marks across yours. Seeing how close the car got to you made you jump, smacking your head against the roof of the car. Backing out you rubbed the swollen top, holding back tears.

Peering across the street, Cooper ran his hands through his brown locks - tugging hard. There was something sexy about how mad he was, frustrated even - but it hurt your heart. You've known Cooper since you were in college, considering that's when he moved here. All you knew was that he was a firefighter - nothing more and nothing less. There were a few occasions when you found yourself looking for the fire department’s calendars – for research purposes. Mr. October happened to be your favorite. Cooper’s gaze caught yours, showing a bit of embarrassment. He didn't think anyone was around to see what happened. Giving him a sweet wave, you smiled small in condolence at what you witnessed. He didn't return your gesture, remained at the end of your driveway - his hands fixated on his hips. "I'm sorry you had to witness that."

His words pierced deep, something about the low tone sent sparks through your body. The way his broad shoulders squared up to yours. His fucking stance in itself made you want to drop. Those impure thoughts flew through your mind as he stared at the ground, awaiting your response. Catching on you shook your head, leaning back against your car. "Don't be sorry, are you okay?" Cooper saw this as an invitation to move forward, his hands in his front pockets. When he was in front of you, he couldn't look in your eyes - instead focusing on his home. The way he held himself was strict, he was so tense all the time. It was understandable with the line of work he did but this was different, he was frustrated. "I'll be okay - back from school so soon?"

He changed the subject as fast as he sauntered over to you, not wanting to focus on the negative. You shot Cooper a smile as you held your house key from your lanyard, motioning to your car filled with boxes. "I'm officially done, graduated last week." This was the first time you saw Cooper smile since you've been home - heat rushing to your cheeks. In a way you felt as if he was reading you, browsing through your entire life story off of one sentence. Lost in your own train of thought you didn't realize how close he got, his shoulders parallel to yours - boxing you in. His right hand placed on top of the roof, dangerously close to your head. Swallowing down every ounce of dignity you had. His russet brown eyes poured over every inch of you, tracing you through the clothing.

"Congratulations, I hope you got spoiled for that big accomplishment." Honey, that was the best way to describe his tone. Molasses and honey flowing in a splendid river, drowning you with every syllable. His musk - fennel and pine radiating off of him made your stomach flip, muscles contracting. You had no control over your body anymore, it was like a flip was switched. You watched as Cooper trailed his left hand over your arm, dragging his nails against the grain. His right hand fell to your neck, fingers resting at the base whilst his thumb rubbing circles by your throat. With a hard grasp, he pulled you forward - inches away from your face. "Did you get spoiled, sweetheart?”

Words could not form, no matter how hard you tried to muster them out. All you could do was shake your head as a form of no. Both of your hands fell slack to your sides, growing clammy by the second. Cooper was not happy with your answer, pouting playfully as he dug his thumb harder against your neck, causing your breath to hitch. It was a huge accomplishment, but you didn't want people to go out of their way to celebrate it. So, after you went to commencement you had a small lunch with your close family, then went back to your off campus apartment. Nothing too out there, enough to satisfy you. "Will you let me spoil you, and be a good girl?" His words made you weaker, slumping slightly into his touch. You couldn't shake the fight you saw earlier, how angry they both were. This was proof Cooper needed to blow off steam but, you felt guilty. A married man, father of two - you didn't want to intervene. "Baby, I'm getting divorced - that's what the fight was about."

That was enough for you to lean up to his lips, pressing your body flush against his. There was something about being out in the open for everyone to see that made your body burn hotter. There was a chance you could be caught by anyone. Cooper felt it too, but it was too good to stop, you were too intoxicating. His large, calloused hands slid across your lower back to drape around your ass, cupping it like it was the last thing his hands would ever do. Entangled in the pleasure you let a hearty moan slip from your mouth to his, the bulge pressing harder against your thigh. Delicate hands laced their way to the back of Cooper’s neck, scratching over the tender skin. He licked at your bottom lip, begging for entrance. Obeying his silent command you parted your lips, bringing your left leg up higher to lace around his waist.

The taste of whipped cream on his breath drove you mad, his scent lingering in your nostrils as he passionately kissed you - growing harder with each motion. You couldn't handle it anymore as you grinded down against his bulge, lightning shooting through your core. Cooper’s hand slid from your throat to the base of your neck, tangling his fingers in your soft strands. With a single twist of his hand, he yanked your hair back - making you gaze into his eyes. A devilish smirk rested upon his lips, swollen from how hard he made out with you. A small whimper left your mouth, tiny enough to show you turned on you were by his actions. The hand that was once secured to your side pulled your keys out, waving the lanyard in your face. "Lead the way." He smirked, draping the lanyard down the valley of your breast - watching your shudder at the feeling.

You reached up to snatch your keys away, swaying your hips as you headed for the front door. Cooper sat back to watch how your ass shook with every step, wanting to take you right then and there on the lawn. Bringing his hand down he began to palm himself, trying to relieve some of the tension his cock was holding. Out of the corner of your eye you could see it too - causing your core to ignite. To tease him further you arched your back - pushing your ass out enough to wiggle it as you slid your key in. When you least expected it, the hard crack of Cooper’s hand came down across your backside; you swore it echoed through the neighborhood.

The yelp that left your mouth was masked with Cooper’s hand, gripping at your face so hard you felt it against your teeth. Without any more effort you spun the doorknob to the left, kicking it open. Cooper ushered you inside with haste, the hard oak door slamming into its respected slot. You have never seen a man be this passionate, this rough - it made you ache all over. Standing in the foyer of your home, you gulped as you watched Cooper’s eyes blacken. There wasn't an immediate danger lurking between you both, but it felt like it - he looked as if he was going to snap. Biting hard on your first finger, you tried to jet away towards your room - to not avail. It was like Cooper read your mind - knowing exactly what you were going to do. "Now princess, where the hell do you think you're going?"

His large, calloused hand came down on your right wrist - yanking it behind your body as you pushed you into the wall separating the kitchen from the dining room. You could hear the metallic clank of his belt coming undone, groaning at the sound. Prepping yourself for the feeling of his hardened cock against your thigh, you slid your ass out a bit more - only to earn a hearty smack to the reddened flesh. "Fucking Christ, you enjoy being a brat?" The sinister smirk on his lips sent sparkles through your eyes, hearing just how lust filled he was becoming. The cold, smooth leather of his belt slid against your wrist. With a rough tug, Cooper slid your left wrist into the makeshift cuffs - cranking the end of the belt back so your hands were snug. As his fingers left your leather-clad wrists, Cooper came up to lace his fingers through your hair - ever so gently pulling you back to his mouth. His musk invaded your senses as his free hand trailed down your front - paying the softest attention to your throat. You couldn't help but slide your eyes closed at the feeling, wanting more.

Taking you out of your moment was your body being forced away from the wall, pushing you along until you were face to face with the marble countertop. This was new, must have been one of the new renovations. There was a second where Cooper completely let go of you, watching as you stood eyes forward - not daring to look back. The anticipating was killing you; you needed his touch. Sweat slid down your brow as you tried to shake your hair out of your face, letting your heart calm for a minute. The warm grasp of Cooper Adams returned but, in a harsher way. He didn't warn you when he yanked your shorts down, pooling them around your ankles. Without being told you kicked them off, wanting them far away. The cold air of your home ran through the heat produced between your legs, never realizing your panties were discarded as well.

Lost in the thought of how your core ached, Cooper had the advantage - tossing you up onto the new countertop, legs spread wide open. "Is my good girl aching for me?" You couldn't help but chew on your lip at his words, the praise shocking your cunt. Nodding gently, you batted your eyelashes in his direction - watching as his drank up your appearance. His fingertips returned to your thighs, pushing hard into the skin - knowing it was going to bruise tomorrow. Slowly he massaged his fingers upwards, draping them over your inner thighs - ghosting over your hot cunt. It was driving you mad, you needed - wanted his touch, his mouth, his everything.

The bucking of your hips into his hand only caused the fury to set itself onto Cooper, his eyes narrowing to your face. Slamming his right hand onto the countertop next to your thigh, he reached forward with his left to grip at your neck, pulling you fast towards him. "Words, use your words." Your pupils were blown out, no color except black showed. The way your expression held lust only made Cooper grow harder - wanting you more than anything. "Y-yes, Daddy." The name came out with a smirk, eyeing him up and down. Cooper’s grip on your neck got tighter, pressing his plump lips flush against yours. The heat of the kiss made you moan into his mouth, wanting him to know what effect he had on you. As the kiss got deeper he slid his hands away, unbuckling the cuffs on his shirt as he dragged the long sleeve's back, exposing his forearms. Cooper trailed his hands down to his slacks, pulling them off with ease - brief's following right behind. The slap of his erect cock against his stomach made you moan, eyes widening at his size.

"Daddy, y-you're so big..." You couldn't help but stare at his length, the wetness of your core seeping down to the counter. He would break you, split you in half - he will be the biggest cock you have ever taken. There was something ignited in Cooper when your eyes cascaded over his length, his ego growing - knowing he was big. Hearing you say it only made him ache harder. Licking his lips as he pulls back from your mouth, he pulled your ass to the edge of the counter - leaving sloppy kisses on your inner thighs, red marks littering the soft skin. With your hands pressing into your back, all you could do was whimper to Cooper - puppy dog eyes boring into his. "I need you to be loud for Daddy, okay? Don't hold back."

Obeying Cooper’s command, you braced yourself as his hot tongue slid up your seam - flat against your slit. The feeling in itself made you want to jump, stuttering your hips into his mouth. Cooper did not like that, pinning your hips down to the counter with his massive hands. He made sure to never leave your eyes, especially as he bit right where the crease of your pelvis met your thigh - tugging at the skin. You could feel your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he dove back into your steaming cunt, lapping at your arousal. Cooper was a pussy eating champ, you fucking knew it just by how he sucked your clit - rolling it in between his teeth and lips. The attention he was paying your nerve bundle made your whole body flop. You couldn't moan, no - screams were leaving your throat. Each swipe of his long tongue had you falling apart - enough to where Cooper slammed you back down onto the counter. The grunt he let out into your cunt made your orgasm approach quickly. Bucking your hips up, you let a string of whimpers slide out, signaling how close you were. "C-Coop… I-I-I'm gonna...."

"What did you just call me?" Cooper pulled his head back from your thighs, your essence glistening upon his lips. One of his eyebrows cocked in your direction, rubbing little circles into your hips. It was painful how fast your orgasm approached, but not letting it burst. The torture Cooper was pushing onto you made you want to cry. You could help but grind your hips against the air - hoping to at least reach that point you once were at. "Brats don't get to come." He tsked into your ear, biting on your lobe. You couldn't help but pout as you strained yourself, wanting something to help take you to the brink. "D-Daddy please...I-I need your mouth."

Cooper pulled you off of the counter, shaking his head at you. The tears swelling in the corner of your eyes made him soften for a moment, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. Even though he was dominating you in everyway you needed, he didn't want to push you into something you may not have wanted. With a stray tear that fell, he made sure to kiss it away - peppering sweet kisses all over your face. Rubbing into his lips, you licked yours - lowering yourself to your knees. Lurching forward you returned his kisses to his hips, thighs and lower stomach - making sure to never break eye contact. "L-Let me make it up to you, Daddy."

Before you could let Cooper respond, you licked one singular line up his shaft - watching at his thick length twitched against your lips. As you came to the top you let your tongue swirl over his swollen tip - lapping up his precum. Cooper couldn't help but slam his eyes shut - wrapping his fingers in your hair to make a ponytail. Opening your mouth all the way, you let Cooper position your mouth over his tip. Nodding in anticipation, Cooper slammed your mouth down onto him - taking him fully in. It was way too much for your to grasp - choking slightly on the girth of him. Tears spilled from the corners of your eyes as you hollowed your cheeks out - suctioning tightly around him. "Oh fuck, princess..." He tossed his head back as he moaned out, jetting his hips back into your face.

This was a new sensation for you, never ever being face fucked. With Cooper it felt so natural, your undying hunger strengthened with every thrust. The way his tip slid against the back of your throat made the butterflies in your stomach erupt. You couldn't handle it anymore, feeling your wetness sliding down your weakened thighs. With every bob of your head against Cooper’s cock it shot electricity through your nerves, wanting him more than anything. Through tearful eyes you watched his expression - how his forehead scrunched up, his bottom lip pulled taut between his teeth. He was trying so hard to suppress his moans for you, but it was sexier hearing them. Lightly you dragged your teeth up his shaft, causing him to pan his eyes back down at you. Cooper humped himself into your face with such aggression it made you gag more, spit dripping from your mouth over your clothed chest. As you clamped your eyes shut to breathe through your nose, you felt how his hips stuttered - shooting his creamy rope right down your throat. With weakened thrusts, he slowly started to ease out of you, rubbing his thumb over your wet chin. "Such a good little princess for Daddy, you did a great job." He cooed, placing a kiss to your forehead. The praise shot right into your cunt.

"Now it's Daddy's turn - I want you to cum on my cock. Can princess do that for me?" The eagerness to your nod made Cooper laugh at how adorable it was, helping you up to your feet. As he spun you around like the princess you are, he pressed your face into the cold countertop - it felt so good on your warm cheeks. The feeling of his toned legs kicking your open made you squirm, arching your back ever so slightly for him. Cooper leaned forward, pressing his lips to your shoulder as his cock slides between your folds, gathering your wetness on his shaft. The way he pressed his tip into your clit had you moaning out ripples, it couldn't - no - wouldn't stop. Each slow thrust of his hips caused your body to jolt, not even fully given in yet. Just then, with a snap of his hips - he sheathed his thick cock inside your wet heat. The scream you let out was enough to break the wine glasses sitting on the countertop - it felt so fucking good!

"I bet those college boys couldn't fuck you like Daddy can. Am I right princess?" He didn't give you time to adjust as he plowed into you from behind, scratching his way to your shoulder and back. The pain mixing with pleasure made you rock your entire body against him - wanting to hold and caress his form. Your wrists writhed against the leather belt, still bound from earlier. Cooper saw you struggling - taking that as his cue to release your hands. The way they flopped to your side felt unreal as he demolished your pussy. Gaining your strength back, you pressed against the countertop, pushing your hips back to meet Cooper’s thrust. "N-never, y-y-you fuck me way better, Daddy. I-I can't get enough of your b-big cock!"

Your words had Cooper laughing sinisterly - lust lacing his tone. It became too much to deal with, his dirty words flowing through your brain as his cock hit that spongy spot within you. From the way you were angled you could feel everything. The way his tip punched your cervix without a care, how your walls tightened around his girthy shaft. How with every thrust you felt your entire body come undone. Nothing in life brought you as much bliss as Cooper was, this was your whole world. You have been fantasizing about Mr. Adams ever since you first laid your eyes upon him. Now you had him where you needed, and you were never going to lay off. "Princess, I-I'm gonna-" Before Cooper could finish his sentence, he was coming undone within you. Ropes of his sweet seed painting your walls - this is when you were thankful for having an implanted contraceptive. Feeling his seed shooting in you was enough for your orgasm to spray - drenching his cock with so much force. The moans, groans and whimpers slipping from yourself and Cooper echoed throughout your vacant home - this was the best day of your life.

Cooper pulled out of you with ease, rubbing his gentle fingers across your behind. Every stroke made you weak, feeling like jelly under his grasp. Pulling you upwards to his chest, he swept you up bridal style as he made his way to your living room, seeing the new conversation pit your parents had installed. It was essentially like a giant bed with seats, causing you to laugh lightly into Cooper’s chest. As he stepped down the stairs, he pulled blanket from one of the seats over you both, pulling you closer to him. Turning around to face him, you wrapped your left leg over his, rubbing small circles into the stubble lining his chin. The moment was perfect, too perfect. The way Cooper looked at you with so much admiration and love, made your entire soul flutter. "It was me." He mumbled out, looking at you with no emotion to his words. It was like his body was taken over by an unseen force, his hand going ridged against your side. "What was you?"

He let out a gentle sigh, chewing on the inside of his cheek, never leaving your gaze. He was debating heavily if he should tell you, or leave it alone. But it felt wrong to not let you know. He slid his hand to cup your cheek, kissing you as soft as silk - lingering over your swollen lips. His large hand cupping your back as well, drawing patterns with his thumb as he let those forbidden words out; "Those guys at the frat party, I made them disappear." His words make you go stiff, eyes widening as you realize what he did. The ones who hurt you, who humiliated you earlier last year - Cooper disposed of them. Your breath grew more erratic as you realized what was going on, there was only one question flowing through your brain. "Did you...did you kill them?" It was weird, you should've felt afraid - but you felt the opposite, safe and sound within Cooper Adams’ arms.

"Yes, for you. They were going to get away with what they did to you, and I didn't want that to happen. I wanted them to feel the fear you did. I wanted them to feel the way they made you feel, I only want to protect you from the evil this world holds." Little did you know, Cooper was the evil this world held. He was after all, The Butcher.

[karajaynetoday]

nothing's going right, and everything's a mess, and no one likes to be alone | jack hughes

author's note: don't ask me how the university semester timeline in this works. i have simply given reader a three week break in march bc why not. this is fanfiction okay, anything can happen 😂 no one proofread this for me so soz for any typos!

word count: 3.4k words

warnings: none that i can think of? but lmk if i've missed anything. soz if the ending makes you mad LOL i do love a cliffhanger

read part one here

read part two here

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here (soz that the masterlist is not up to date lol) | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here

Somehow, the ill feeling of waiting until summer to see Jack again began to fade with each passing day. The itch to text him every time something exciting or infuriating happened to you began to lessen. The thoughts of him when you saw a funny meme he’d like, or your shared favourite foods on special at the grocery store, quietly stopped happening as frequently. 

But then there were the things that didn’t stop. The sharp pain in your chest whenever Jack’s smiling face popped up on your social media feed. The butterflies in your stomach whenever your parents brought him up in conversation, fuelled by whatever the latest updates were from their group message thread with Jim and Ellen. The joy that would wash over you when you heard about a Devils win or a Jack Hughes goal, followed almost always by a wave of sadness that you were hearing about it second or third hand, rather than from Jack himself.

You were the one who’d asked for space. You needed time, you’d said. Given the blow up of All-Star weekend, all Jack was doing was respecting your wishes; but a huge part of you not so secretly wished he’d be a bit more disrespectful and reach out. Your mind was a mess of conflicting thoughts, and your heart wasn’t sure which emotion to feel or where to go next. 

Since kindergarten, you’d barely gone more than a few days without seeing or communicating with Jack in some way. Now you were nearly a month without a word, and even though you were still mad at how he’d treated you, you were craving a return to the friendship you’d become so accustomed to. Jack knew you better than anyone, could basically read your mind with a single look, and although you had plenty of friends at college and still around in Toronto from high school, none came close to the camaraderie you shared with Jack. He was someone you could talk to for hours, or sit next to in silence for the same amount of time, it didn’t matter. With Jack, you could be utterly and entirely yourself, no complications. Now it felt like you were always pretending. And it was exhausting.

It was about 9pm on a Thursday night when you found yourself pushing through that exhaustion to try and complete yet another university assignment. For motherfucking economics. You couldn’t wait until you’d completed all of your compulsory economics credits because it was the absolute opposite of your cup of tea, when it came to academic subjects. This assignment was your last one, and you weren’t sure whether to cheer or cry at the idea of hitting the submit button on the online portal. Maybe you should’ve bought a confetti cannon to celebrate. Or a box of wine. Or booked yourself a flight somewhere fun, given you had a break from classes soon.

As soon as the thought of a trip crossed your mind, your phone began to buzz with an incoming video call. A video call from… Luke. Luke Hughes. 

Your face scrunched in confusion, as you swiped to answer the call, met with Luke’s smiling face and messy curls. 

“Hey sunshine! Long time no see. How have you been?” Luke spoke cheerily. Almost too cheerily. 

You were immediately suspicious and narrowed your eyes at the youngest Hughes. 

Luke was 3 years old when you met for the first time; he could barely remember a life without you in it. Given how inseparable you and Jack were, Luke became your de facto little brother, always tagging along where he could and joining in your adventures. Later on, when he became a teenager, you were the one Luke would come to when he was having issues with his friends, or trying to build up the courage to ask out the cute girl in his math class, or missing his brothers when they moved away. You were his second call after Ellen when he felt homesick at Michigan, and you were his first call when he had fucked up something that he felt his brothers would never let him live down. Emotional support and damage control, with a healthy dose of teasing and laughs thrown in. That was the dynamic between you and Luke. It also meant you could read him to filth when he was lying to you, and your honesty radar was through the roof at this sudden video call.

“I’m fine, Moose. Just trying to wrap up my final assignment before the break without losing my entire mind.” You offered weakly, half-expecting Luke to make a joke about your mind having been lost years ago, but the joke never came.

Instead, you saw the concern flicker across Luke’s face, just for a moment, before he forced a smile.

“How long is your break for? Any plans?”

“Three weeks, and not really. I promised my mother I’d spend a few days helping her with planning for their anniversary party in June, but that probably won’t happen until right before I go back to school.” You chatted absently, hitting save on your essay and standing up from the couch, bringing your phone with you as you moved into the kitchen to make yourself a drink.

You propped the phone up against the vase on your kitchen bench, reaching up into the cabinet to retrieve a glass. 

“Well, you should come visit. We’ve got like 5 home games in a row or something ridiculous coming up. It’d be fun!” Luke’s tone was cheerful, but cautious, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to react. 

You hummed in response, moving slightly out of view of your phone to get some ice cubes from your freezer and a soda from the fridge. 

“Besides, I heard a rumour that you’ve got an airline voucher to use. I’d hate for it to expire or something.” 

You could feel your heart starting to beat faster. Luke knew about the voucher. Did that mean Jack had told him about your fight? 

“The voucher won’t expire for three years. I’m sure I’ll manage to use it before then.” You deadpanned, stepping back into frame to see Luke rolling his eyes at you. 

“Yeah, sure, but will I survive that long without seeing you? Absolutely not. Come on, sugar. Please? Even if it’s just a weekend?” Luke had moved into full begging mode, with puppy dog eyes and everything.

You sighed, fidgeting with the straw in your drink and avoiding his gaze. 

“I don’t… we haven’t talked at all, Luke. I don’t know what he’ll do if I just show up there.” You half-whispered, feeling that all-too-familiar wave of sadness coursing through your veins. 

“He talked about you tonight at dinner. Says he misses you. But he doesn’t want to push, or not give you the space you wanted. But right now, he’s on the couch watching Gossip Girl, so…” Luke stated matter-of-factly, staring you down with a knowing look on your face.

Gossip Girl was something you’d insisted Jack get into when you were teenagers, as long as he “wanted to be called your official best friend”. And The OC. And Gilmore Girls. And One Tree Hill. And basically any other teen drama series you could think of. Collectively, those shows had thousands of episodes, and you always found yourself settling down to watch them whenever you were missing Jack more than usual. You’d never realised before that he did the same.

“Should… should we tell him I’m coming? I don’t want him to get upset by a bad surprise.” 

“Not at all, sugar. Book the flight and send me the details, I’ll sort out the rest.” Luke’s beaming smile made a smile of your own creep onto your face, as you nodded at him and went to retrieve your laptop from the couch to log onto the airline website.

“Now that that’s sorted, I was wondering, what does it mean when a girl asks me what my sun, moon and rising are? Should I be worried? Or is it a good thing?”

– 

Two days later, you were done with your semester and on your way to the airport. Luke had suggested you book a one-way flight, “That way, you can go home whenever you like!”, but you were starting to feel like the whole thing was a mistake. 

Nonetheless, you pushed through those feelings and boarded your flight. The whole ordeal took less than two hours, and soon enough you found yourself navigating the arrivals area at Newark airport. You spotted Luke’s lanky figure, clad in a Michigan sweatshirt, with his back to you. You couldn’t help but creep up on him and poke his side, cracking up with laughter as Luke jumped at least three feet into the air. He’d always been the easiest to scare, ever since you were kids. 

Luke cussed you out, and then pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. 

“Missed your face, sugarplum.” Luke murmured, as you pulled away from each other and he rested his hands on your shoulders, studying you. 

“Aw, Lukey. I’d say I’d missed yours too, but we really gotta do something about that hair.” You poked your tongue out as the youngest Hughes brother’s jaw dropped in mock offense. 

You retrieved your bag from the luggage carousel, and headed out to where Luke had parked. The two of you fell into easy conversation as Luke navigated through the New Jersey streets back to the apartment he shared with Jack. 

You managed to bury most of the nerves, but they came bubbling back to the surface when Luke pulled into the parking garage at the bottom of his building.

“Is… um… Is Jack home? Alone?” You managed to squeak out, and Luke looked at you like you were crazy. 

Ever since All-Star weekend, you’d been having a recurring nightmare about Jack and the girl from the messages you’d accidentally become privy to. In particular, it was a scenario where you would come home from wherever you’d been out, and opened the apartment door to find them… entangled, on every possible surface you could think of. You felt yourself starting to feel ill as the images from your nightmares started to flash back into your mind. 

“He’s alone. Ever since… ever since he came home early from All-Star, he’s been alone. None of the… usual visitors have been over. And he hasn’t been going to theirs, either. Not even when we’re on a roadie.” Luke said carefully, and you could tell he was trying not to upset you.

You could also tell that he was being honest. Because you could always tell when he was lying. But your mind was running a million miles a minute. Jack hadn’t… for a month? Because of his fight with you? You loved Jack, but you also knew (despite wishing that you didn’t know at all) that it had been years since he’d gone that long without intimacy. In fact, it was probably the longest since losing his virginity that Jack hadn’t fulfilled his desires. 

Your mind was starting to wander into the gutter, and you pressed your eyes closed to bring yourself back to Earth. All you could do was nod at Luke, before you both hopped out of the car and into the elevator. Luke insisted on carrying your luggage, so you found yourself fidgeting incessantly with your hands as the elevator climbed to the correct floor. 

You trailed behind Luke as he strode towards the apartment door and unlocked it, stepping inside and putting your bag down. He looked back and waved you into the apartment, pressing a finger to his lips. You tiptoed across the doorway, and your heart softened at the scene before you. 

You could see the back of Jack’s head leaned up against the couch, and an episode of Gilmore Girls playing on the TV mounted on the wall. In fact, it was one of your favourite episodes; where Jess comes back and shows Rory the book he wrote, and calls her out for dropping out of Yale. You smiled ruefully as you thought about the parallels between that episode and your current situation with Jack, as the argument between Jess and Rory played out on the screen.  

What do you mean?

You know what I mean! I know you. I know you better than anyone! This isn't you!

… 

This isn't you! This! You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this!

You caught him on a bad night.

This isn't about him! Okay? Screw him! What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?

I don't know. I don't know…

“Are we Team Jess or Team Rory this time, Jacky?” Luke called out, making you jump. 

“Team Jess all the way, obviously. Where have you bee-” Jack stopped dead in his tracks as he turned to face his brother, and instead saw you in the middle of his living room.

Jack’s face was a revelation. Confusion, at first. Then the briefest flash of hurt and anguish. Then a smile. Then caution and uncertainty, as he slowly stepped towards you. 

You let a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, and quickly moved across the room, clumsily throwing your arms around your best friend. You felt Jack freeze momentarily, almost as if he was shocked at your touch, but that soon passed and you felt his hands slide around your waist and squeeze, bringing your bodies as close together as possible. 

You nestled your head on Jack’s shoulder, breathing in his scent. His thumbs softly rubbed up and down your side, and you felt him press a soft kiss into your hair. You stayed like that for a minute, or maybe longer, relaxing into the embrace.

The sound of the apartment door slamming shut made you jolt, and you rolled your eyes as you realised that Luke had tried to sneak way unnoticed and failed miserably. 

“Hi.” Jack whispered, pulling back from you slightly but keeping his hands locked around you. 

“Hi.” You whispered back, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. 

“Is it still shit hair? Or better now it’s longer?” Jack teased, rolling his tongue between his teeth.

“Better. But only slightly.” You teased back, your hands slipping down to the back of his neck comfortably. 

The warmth of the surprise arrival was starting to fade. The dread you’d felt over addressing your fight with Jack was starting to set in, fast. The guilt you felt for being the catalyst for over a month for not speaking to your best friend was washing over you. Your heart rate was through the roof, and your palms were beginning to sweat. 

Jack sensed your change in mood, and pulled away from you to look you up and down.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to shower? Or take a nap?” He was nervous, too.

“I ate before my flight. And showered this morning. And it’s 11am, so I think I’m good on the nap front. But I do think we should… we should talk. About everything.” You were basically tripping over your words at this point, but Jack’s reassuring nod helped to calm your nerves. 

Wordlessly, Jack took your hand and led you over to the couch, gesturing for you to sit. You sat down and faced him, crossing your legs and resting your hands on your knees, still fidgeting with your hoodie sleeves. 

“I’m sorry - “ You both said unanimously, a gentle laughter filling the room. 

“I’m sorry I needed so much time apart, J. It fucking sucked, and it was my fault, and I just didn’t -” You began to ramble, only stopping when Jack leaned over and squeezed your knee reassuringly.

“You only needed that time because I was an asshole, sugar. It’s on me, really. I had no right to treat you like an occasional friend, or something that I shouldn’t prioritise -” Jack paused as you cringed, remembering the text messages that referred to his time with you as “boring family bullshit”. 

“I was thinking with my dick, not with my head, and that’s not fair on anyone.” You shot Jack a weird look, and he looked sheepish in return.

“Quinn… Quinn said that to me. After you told him to tell me about the messages. He’s right, thought. It wasn’t fair.” Jack continued, pausing to take a deep breath. 

“This whole… thing, this life -” Jack gestured broadly at the apartment around you, and you glanced around properly for the first time. Framed jerseys of Luke and Jack’s adorned the walls.Various photos of the Hughes family scattered about the place. The fridge, with a gas bill stuck to it, along with a polaroid of you and Jack from last Christmas. And a photo from your senior prom. And a group photo of everyone from last summer at the lake house, Jack’s mouth open in laughter with his arm slung over your bikini-clad shoulders. 

“It’s all I thought I ever wanted. And it’s amazing, and I’m so grateful. But it’s worth nothing to me, the money, the girls -” You felt yourself involuntarily cringe again. “The fame, the accolades, it’s worth nothing to me without the people that I love by my side. And if those people don’t know how much I love and appreciate them, because I treat them like shit, then that’s on me. No one else. Me.” 

You sat quietly, taking in Jack’s emphatic statement. You weren’t quite sure what to say. So instead, you gently reached over and took Jack’s hand in yours, lacing your fingers through his and squeezing softly, for a moment while you gathered your thoughts.

“I know the life you live, Jack. You don’t have to be sorry for it. Playing hockey was all you ever dreamed of, and I honestly can’t blame you for… enjoying… all the perks it comes with.” You swallowed the wave of nausea that hit you, before continuing. 

“I don’t… I don’t know what life looks like without you in it. The last month was such a bizarre experience, and not one that I ever want to repeat, but I also… I need to… Can I be honest?” You spoke softly, glancing up from your hands to meet Jack’s gaze, and he nodded encouragingly at you. 

“I wasn’t just upset because you made me feel like I was inconveniencing you, or cock-blocking you -” It was Jack’s turn to cringe. “I think I was upset because I was jealous. Because that will never, ever be me. And I think… I think I want it to be? Maybe? Fuck, I don’t know!” You dropped Jack’s hand and stood up from the couch, and started to pace the room. 

“Sugar, please sit down.” Jack pleaded, and you paused, looking back at him on the couch. One look was all you needed, and you narrowed your eyes at the smirk on his dumb face. 

“Why are you smirking? I am experiencing emotional distress, you asshole.” You seethed, running your hands through your hair in frustration.

“Tell me more about this jealousy thing. I’m intrigued.” Jack’s tone was light and teasing, and washed over you like sour milk. Your head whipped in his direction and your face must’ve said a thousand words, because Jack’s smirk soon disappeared and he hurriedly stood up and walked over, reaching out to touch you. 

“See, this -” You jabbed a finger into Jack’s chest. “This is why I have avoided this conversation for almost my entire life. Because you think it’s hilarious that we could ever go down that path. That we could ever be something more than what we are. Because I’m not good enough,or pretty enough, or just enough and I never will be, and I hate it. I hate it so much.” Your voice cracked on the last few words, and you felt the hot tears start to bubble out of your eyes and stream down your face. 

Jack didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He pulled you into a hug, bringing his hand up to your face and gently brushing away the tears with his thumbs. 

“Breathe, sugar. You need to calm down.” Jack said quietly, willing you to calm. That just made you cry harder. 

You were about to pull away, when you felt Jack cup your face with both hands, before leaning in to kiss you. 

[poppadom0912]

Is it too late?

Warnings: Mentions of periods, hospitals, surgery, pain and illness

Summary: When your older brother is a fancy surgeon, being sick is the last thing you want.  

Requested by @1chicago5021

A/N: I'm still alive people. I had a sudden burst of inspiration and thought I'd finally get all these requests done before the next round of exams. I am in a lesson right now so I can’t do the usual aesthetic collage I always do. This was sent quite a while ago but I actually had so much fun writing this so thank you! I hope this lives up to your standards <3

*****

Two weeks ago now, your body randomly started not working the way you wanted it to, but you put all the blame on your period whose cramps hadn't been very forthcoming.

The painkillers were a coming in at a constant stream, hot water bottles never having the chance to go room temperature.

Your never-ending migraines and 24/7 cramps were a constant, so you expected to feel relief once you were back to normal. But that never came because this week started and somehow, you felt even worse.

When you woke up this morning to your throat feeling weird, you knew something was wrong when you drank water and the feeling didn’t go away.  

Despite that, you went to school anyways, bidding your brother goodbye when he dropped you off, completely unaware of your wellbeing. But you couldn’t blame the guy, he was stressed enough over work as it is, you didn’t need to add to his already overflowing workload.  

You only felt worse as the day progressed. It was only spring, nearing summer, but your body temperature wouldn’t stop fluctuating. One minute you were shivering and asking to borrow your friend's hoodie but the next you were sweating like you had just finished a marathon and was trying to get rid of as many layers as possible.  

The cramps were immense. The worst you ever had and to consider you just got off your period, you weren’t a stranger to post period cramps, but this was on another level. You hadn’t been in this much pain ever even while on your reds. None of the pain killers your friends kindly provided for you alleviated the pain. Death would feel ever so sweet right about now.  

You knew you were seriously sick when you were on the verge of collapsing at lunch. Your friends all shouted in alarm when you faltered on your feet in the cafeteria. You ignored their efforts and attempts to get you to the nurse's office. There wasn’t long left of the school day, there wasn’t any point in leaving with barely two hours left.  

As soon as you got home, you fell face first into bed. As soon as your head hit the pillow and you pulled the covers over your body with however much strength remained in your arms that got heavier as the day went on.  

You were in a deep sleep, so deep in fact that your dreams were non-existent. You weren’t too sure what time it was, but you felt someone shaking you, going from gentle to a hand tightly holding your shoulder, a muffled voice inaudible as you came in and out of your slumber.  

Their gestures were painful, but you didn’t have it in you to tell the intruder as you struggled to even muster a groan. Your eyes fluttered, face digging even deeper into the pillow as if to suffocate yourself. That was all the indication the person needed to shake you harder, adamant to wake you up.  

With a blocked nose, breathing out through your mouth proved itself to be a much more difficult task than it should’ve been. And stuffing your face into your pillow might not have been the best idea taking that into consideration.

Their voice sounded way too far away, as though they weren’t in the room with you. One second they were roughly holding you, the next, all pressure ceased but the pain didn’t.

Before you could even register what they were doing now, your eyes heavy with sleep dropped once more as you were enveloped into darkness again.

*****

Over the past two weeks, Connor had noticed your depleting energy but when the mood swings came along with your hot water bottles, he didn’t think any much more of the matter.

But then you showed no signs of improvements and at first, he could hardly notice. You hid it quite well at first but as the week progressed, it was apparent to him you were getting sick, and you were too stubborn to admit that to your surgeon brother.

Nonetheless, things didn’t look too bad that staying home was necessary. You were managing quite well, going to school the entire week without complaints, so he found no reason to intervene into something he knew would end up in an argument that would result in you holding a grudge and not talking to him for a few days.

He dropped you off and drove to work expecting nothing. You smiled at him when you left the car, and nothing seemed physically wrong when you picked up the pace to meet your friends.

His twelve-hour shift seemed to never end. When he had a moment to himself, he messaged you as he waited for his coffee, staring at his message that sat alone with no replies for hours. School has finished, you were sure to be home now, so why weren’t you answering?

He didn’t think much of it till he was meant to go home at twelve. He was all ready standing at his locker but then Maggie called his name and he saw several ambulances piling up outside.

As amazing as he was, his attention couldn’t be in two places at once and unfortunately for you, car crashes had more significance in this situation. But as soon as this was all over, you’d be his number one priority once more.

It was all over six hours later when he came out of the second surgery he had to take lead in.

Stepping out of the surgery theatre, he thanked all his co-workers and was dashing away to collect his things, not wanting to be here any longer. Having time to finally check his phone again, his concern skyrocketed when you still hadn’t replied to his messages.

Waving off the few staff remaining in the emergency department, Connor wasted no time in driving off. His adrenaline had yet to die down from the rush of a packed-out emergency room and doing several successful surgeries. Adding to this was his building concern for you. Maybe you were just sleeping, and your phone was on charge. Maybe it was on silent, and you didn’t hear anything. Maybe it was stolen, and you couldn’t contact him-

Connor sighed as he parked the car. Wasting no time, his body still thrumming from the surgery high, he walked into the building and took the stairs instead, taking large strides as he skipped every two.

The house was drop dead silent when he opened the door which you hadn’t locked from the inside like you usually would. That and the completely pitch-black apartment was the first things that put him on edge.

He locked the door behind him, walking in further and inspecting the living room and kitchen that didn’t look lived in. Everything was in its same place as he left it in this morning. Closing the blinds in the living room, he walked towards your bedroom, your door slightly ajar which had never been the case since you started living with him. You always shouted at him whenever he left the door even a slither open, you always needed complete darkness to sleep. The tiniest bit of light always hindering your sleeping ability.

Pushing the door open, Connor poked his head inside first to survey the room. He finally let himself relax at the sight of you lying in bed, your figure completely drowning in your duvet. The weird lump in your sheets being the only reason he could identify you.

He felt himself relax, his body physically deflating now that he had eyes on you, knowing for sure that nothing was wrong.

For some reason, your curtains were still open which they never were since you were young, always complaining, once again, that you needed complete darkness to be able to sleep. Closing your curtains, he found your phone on your bedside desk, and it was littered with notifications from not only him but all of your friends too. All of them were asking in variations if you were okay, if you felt better, did you get home safe and how you were feeling.

They were all sent at three in the afternoon. It was now two in the morning.

Concerned at the topic of the messages, Connor came over to the side of the bed you were laying on and placed his hand on your forehead, his eyes widening immediately. He felt himself warming up just from how hot you were.

Sitting down on the space by your knees, Connor shook you gently, trying to rouse you from your apparent very deep sleep but the only movement you made was from what he was doing.

“Y/N? Hey, wake up. Can you get up for me really quick?”

The adrenaline that was just dying down was picking up again along with his heart rate, why weren’t you waking up?

He shook you once again but this time, he was more rough, his worry meaning he gripped your shoulder tightly and shook you with a force that he’d never use on you before as his baby sister.

This time he tried calling you name while he tried getting you up. Lifting the duvet off your body, not only were you shivering but you were sweating a very unusual amount.

Swallowing harshly, Connor tried one more time, calling your name and roughly shaking you. “Come one, I need to you wake up Y/N.”

“Y/N. Y/N get up.”

But you just wouldn’t budge.

Deciding that enough was enough, he scooped you into his arms and it must’ve been the sudden movement that caused you to let out a small whimper in what was clearly pain. It was small but it was the most he’d gotten from you since he got home and that was better than nothing.

Foregoing his jacket, Connor made sure to slip your cardigan over your torso, so you weren’t going to die from the cold outside. He quickly slipped into his own shoes and left the building not a moment later.

*****

No one had been expecting Connor to be back at work so soon, not even him. It was a few minutes to three and the ED was relatively calm taking into account the big accident not too long ago, but Connor was grateful.

Getting out the car, Connor looked into the ED and called for the first person he saw.

“April! Get me a gurney!”

Said nurse was caught completely off guard, jumping from where she stood at the nurse's desk with Will not too standing behind her. He too clearly was confused but Connor had no time to dwell on them.

Not checking if she was listening, Connor rounded the car and picked you back into his arms, your head resting on his bicep and your legs on the inside of his elbow. Slamming the door shut, Connor strode into the emergency department and luckily for him, April and Will were more than ready to help.

“All the gurneys are used up from before, but we’ve got a free bed.” April said, leading the surgeon into an empty treatment room where Will was lowering the bedside rails.

“Talk to me Connor.” Will said, understanding there was no time for formalities when he saw it was you Connor was carrying.

“No clue what happened but she’s as hot as anything, she’s shivering and sweating at the same time and will not wake up for anything.” Connor started, gently laying you down and standing back to let Will and April do their jobs. He was itching to help but physically had to move further away from you so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“Pretty sure she’s been sick and in pain for a while now, but she never said anything.” He continued, looking at all the numbers on the machines that were popping up as they were connected to your body. “When I asked last week, she just kept saying it was her period cramps.”

As April hooked you up onto an IV drip, Will started palpating your body in search for any particular place of pain. And when he came to a particular area in your lower abdomen and you cried out, the three of them looked at each other knowingly.

“Kieran should still be on shift.” Connor said, remembering the surgeon he left behind that was in charge and available.

Will nodded in confirmation, “Let’s move.”

*****

Waking up felt different to all the times before. Your levels of disorientation and haziness and confusion were on another level.

As soon as you opened your eyes, the first thing you noticed was the lack of pain. You couldn’t feel not even a pinch in your stomach, maybe it was weird to say but it felt liberating to not be in debilitating pain.

“Oh, thank goodness your awake.” Connor looked dead on his feet in the doorway of the room but the immense relief painting his face was like no other.

You made him feel and look like that- Shit, what happened, what did you do?

Before you could say anything, Connor beat you to it. “How are you feeling? In any pain?”

As he questioned you, a poured you a cup of water, holding it so all you had to do was drink and not need to exert energy that he knew from experience, you didn’t have.

Once again, before you could ask, he answered for you. “It was appendicitis. Your period cramps were in fact your appendix and last night it burst.”

“But it’s all good. We got you into surgery and your appendix is gone as should your pain.”

“Wow.” You said shakily, your voice so quiet from the lack of use.

“Please don’t do that next time.” Connor said, sitting on the empty seat by the bed, taking your hand into his. “Please tell me when you're in pain and when you feel sick. You matter to me; all your small or big problems are mine too. I don’t care how trivial they are.”

Silence followed as he set the glass aside. “You scared the shit out of me kiddo.”

And to say you felt guilty was an understatement.

“Claire’s pissed.” You both winced at the thought of your sister finding out. “She’s going to visit when she’s finished with work. I told her your healthy and out of surgery but she’s still pissed.”

“M’Sorry.” You apologised, voice hoarse and lips chapped. “I didn’t want-“

“Y/N.” Connors face made it look like he was in pain from your admission he cut off. “You’re never a bother to me okay? Me being a doctor is a good thing, use it to your advantage.”

You nodded, confirming to change next time if there was another time. Fingers crossed there isn’t.

“How hard was it to not do the surgery?” You smiled, squeezing his hand and poking his bicep. He was still in his scrubs from his shift last night.

Connor rolled his eyes and groaned. Such a sight made you laugh.

[mountttmase]

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Note - so I think this is the longest fic I’ve ever written. I really love the concept and the biggest thank you to @masonmtxo for the request and all the discussions we had like it’s been so fun to write and thank you for trusting me with this idea 🥺. Hope you all enjoy and feedback would be very much appreciated 🤍

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 11k

Warnings - fluff and angst

‘Come on Thea, daddy’s gonna be here in a minute and you need to be awake so he can say goodnight’ you told your daughter, bouncing her up and down on your knee slightly so she’d keep her eyes open as she let out a big yawn. ‘I know baby, it’s been a long day but you can’t fall asleep and upset daddy on his birthday can you?’

The gentle tap on your door settled your nerves instantly, and after a quiet come in, Masons head popped round the door with a soft smile on his face.

‘Hey, sorry I took so long. My mum wouldn’t stop talking and then Lew wouldn’t get out of the shower’ he complained as he came into his childhood bedroom. Shutting the door and slowly making his way over to you and the two year old little one you’d made together. You loved the way his eyes lit up every time he saw her and as soon as she noticed him, Thea’s arms were up so Mason could pick her up. ‘Hey baby, I like your pj’s’ he laughed, kissing her cheek as he poked the tiny strawberries that adorned her tummy and she snuggled into his neck as he looked round to you. ‘I like yours too’ he winked and you felt your face flush instantly.

This wasn’t a state Mason ever saw you in, bare faced, hair up and ready to sleep. No Mason only ever saw you when you looked presentable for pick ups and drop offs or family events.

‘Thanks’ you laughed, crossing your arms over yourself in an attempt to hide the baggy shirt and bottoms he’d lent you but it was only then you caught sight of his ridiculous ensemble and you smiled at the way his cheeks flushed because you’d noticed. ‘Did you have a nice afternoon?’

‘Of course, I’m so glad you both came’ he smiled, dropping a quick kiss on Thea’s head. You still remembered the look on his face when he’d spotted the two of you amongst the rest of his family as you all yelled surprise and the joy you felt when he came over to you first. Taking Thea into his arms before pulling you in next so the three of you could have a moment. ‘I honestly didn’t expect it at all, when everyone yelled surprise I was too in shock but I remember wishing you were there. I thought you two were visiting your parents but then I saw this one’s little smile’ he teased, tickling her sides gently until you heard the familiar sound of laughter falling from her lips. ‘Have you had a nice afternoon?’

‘Yeah, it’s nice seeing everyone again’

‘Thank you for staying, I just thought it made more sense so we could all go back together tomorrow and I get to spend some more time with this one’

‘Of course’

‘She’s grown so much, huh? Every time I see her it’s like looking at a different person and I only saw her last week’ he murmured, pulling her down from his neck as he’d felt her go heavy and knew she was falling asleep. You watched on with a gentle smile as he cradled her in his arms before placing a light kiss on her forehead. ‘Sometimes I look at her and I can’t believe she’s real’

‘I know, she’s like a proper mini human now’

‘She really is’ he chuckled, the heart melting smile he was directing towards her now landing on you and you gulped under the intensity of it. ‘I still remember the day we found out like it was yesterday though’

~

You remembered too, you were so sick with nerves about the whole thing that you made yourself ill. Thinking you’d rather have morning sickness everyday for the rest of your life than feel this way again but it was never a situation the pair of you intended to be in.

You remember the moment you found out yourself you were pregnant like it was yesterday too. You’d been having some strange pains in your side for a few weeks and you believed it must have been appendicitis so you took yourself off to the doctor as a precaution so they could run some tests. The nurse seemed kind as she talked you through everything before asking a few standard questions to try and rule out what it could be.

‘I just want to ask, is there any way you think you could be pregnant?’

‘No, I don’t think so’ you told her, the sudden realisation that your last period never came but it was usual for you to skip one when you were stressed and there had been a lot going on lately so you figured there was no reason to say anything.

‘Okay well I’ll get some tests going and we’ll see where we’re at’ she smiled and you relaxed instantly. That was until she came back around half an hour later and your world felt like it was crumbling around you.

‘We’ll do some more thorough testing and take you for a scan just to check but from what I can see, I know you didn’t think you were but it looks as though you’re pregnant’ she told you softly. Squeezing your hand as she saw your face drop.

‘I can’t be’ you breathed, your heart in your mouth as you repeated her words in your head but nothing seemed to make sense. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Pretty sure, yeah. I’m getting a pretty strong positive from you sample’

It was like your world had stopped spinning. Pregnant? Surely not. You hadn’t had sex in weeks. Not since…

Mason.

You’d never intended to sleep with him, in all honesty you barely knew him. He was a friend of Kai and Sophia’s that you’d met a handful of times at games or parties but you’d never spoken to him for more than ten minutes.

That was until it was a girl from work's birthday and you were out for drinks in some posh bar and a drink was placed in front of you at your table.

‘Compliments of Mason’ the waitress smiled but you looked at her confused. You had no idea what she was talking about, thinking she must have got you confused with someone else but after following her eyeline you saw him, sending you a small wave to which you returned causing all the girls on your table to look at you with wide and shocked eyes.

‘I’m sorry but who the hell is that?’ The girl next to you laughed but you didn’t want to tell her exactly. She was known for sticking her nose in and you didn’t want her knowing your business.

‘Mason? Oh he’s a friend of some friends. I don’t know him super well or anything’

‘Then why is he sending you drinks?’

‘How should I know’ you laughed, hoping you could change the subject and luckily enough for you the birthday cake was being bought over so nothing more could be said.

You wanted to go over and thank Mason but the next time you looked, he wasn’t there and you’d wondered if he’d snuck out so you were more than surprised when he came up next to you at the bar. You’d only popped over there for a glass of water, jumping at the feel of a hand on your shoulder but his warm brown eyes settled you instantly.

‘Mason! I was looking for you but you disappeared’ you told him as he pulled you into a quick hug

‘Well I’m back’ he laughed, propping himself up next to you. ‘You good?’

‘Yeah, great. Thanks for the drink’

‘You’re welcome, you looked like you needed it’ he laughed and you rolled your eyes playfully.

‘Whatever could you mean’ you teased, causing him to laugh before your water was placed in front of you.

‘Wow, someone’s living in the wild side tonight’

‘I can be wild when I want to be’ you teased and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the little sparkle in his eye at your comment.

‘Oh yeah? I think I might like to see that’

‘Y/n? I’m booking a taxi. Are you coming?’ You suddenly heard from beside you and you couldn’t lie you felt a little deflated.

‘Where are you guys off to now?’ Mason asked, thinking you were off on a wild night out but it couldn't be further from the truth.

‘Home’ you told him with a huff. ‘The finance department doesn’t do late nights apparently’

‘Well if you’re not ready to go you can always hang out here with me’ he offered with a small smile and the offer sounded appealing straight away.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah it’s just me and a few others, you’ve probably met a few of them before’ he explained and you could see Ben and a few others now from where you stood. ‘Maybe you can show me that wild side you told me about’ he winked, excitement filling your belly at what he might mean and even though you didn’t know him that well, you weren’t ready to go yet. ‘I promise I’ll get you home safe. Soph would have my nuts if I didn’t’

‘Yeah okay I’ll stay’ you told him, heart racing at the way his eyes lit up. ‘Let me grab my stuff’

You spent the rest of the night talking to Mason and you were surprised about how much you had in common. You never usually had the time to speak like this but he was charming and was really listening to you so when it was time to leave the disappointment must have been clear on your face.

‘You can come back to mine if you want? I’ve got a bottle of white in the fridge with your name on it’ he laughed and whilst the word yes was on the tip of your tongue he could see you needed a little more convincing. ‘You don’t have to, you just don’t look like you’re ready to go home. Thought you could do with a little more therapy after your girls evening’

‘You know what, you’re right’ you smiled, looking up at Mason's kind face. You knew you’d be safe with him so you let him lead you outside where the rest of the boys were waiting. Each with a girl they’d managed to pull tonight and you’d wondered if you’d maybe interrupted his night a little too much.

You didn’t have time to say anything though, Mason wanting to set off so you said your goodbyes and made it back to his so you could open the wine that he’d promised you. Relaxing next to him on his sofa as you carried on your conversations in the bar until you couldn’t hold back from asking him what you wanted to.

‘Hey, Mason? I hope I didn’t interrupt anything tonight’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well when we left, the others had… company’

‘Okay…?’ He laughed, clearly not really understanding what you were trying to say so you swallowed the lump in your throat knowing you’d have to spell it out for him.

‘I meant like if you had the intention of taking someone home tonight, i probably wasn’t on your list so I hope I didn’t ruin any plans you had’

‘Firstly, you didn’t ruin any plans. I’m not exactly a fan of picking up random girls in public. And secondly, why don’t you think you’d be on my list?’ He asked cheekily, finally letting his hand brush over your knee and you smiled at touch.

‘I mean I… I don’t know… um’ you stuttered. Both of your were plied with alcohol and you were feeling a lot looser than usual, but he still had the power to make you stutter.

‘Am I gonna have to spell this out for you?’ He laughed, hand travelling up your leg to your thigh so he could give it a gentle squeeze and when you gave him a nod your heart fluttered at his cheeky smile.

‘I think you’re gorgeous, y/n’ he told you sincerely. ‘Always have done and I’ve enjoyed sitting chatting with you all night way more than I would have with just some random person. Yeah maybe my intentions were to find someone for a bit of… company. But I’d pick you and this ten time out of ten over that’

‘So you were looking for a shag’ you laughed. Trying to avoid the rest of his speech as it was churning your insides but you could see where this conversation might be going.

‘Why, you offering?’ He laughed, clearly trying to joke with you but you wanted to test the waters.

‘Why are you?’ You retorted, watching his eyebrows raise and he bit his pretty pink lips.

‘I asked you first’ he whispered, gripping your thigh and pulling it over his lap so you had to straddle him and you placed your hands on his broad chest to steady yourself. Excitement bubbling up inside of you at his behaviour and even though the thought had never crossed your mind before, you really wanted to kiss him. ‘But in the interests of being honest then yeah, I am’

‘Me too’ you told him, mouth speaking before your brain could catch up as the copious amount of wine was taking its toll but you knew you couldn’t pass this up.

He didn’t give you a second to say or think anything else, kissing you deeply and knocking the wind out of you. Never in a million years did you expect you’d ever kiss Mason but here you were, hoping for a lot more than that.

You didn’t speak much afterwards, just his name falling from your lips in between prayers to a higher being you didn’t even believe in as you spent the next hour or so in his bedroom. Wondering how on Earth you’d even got here but you weren’t regretting it for a second.

He was a gentleman though and took care of you in every way possible. Never making you feel like you’d outstayed your welcome as he tucked you into his side so you could go to sleep and the next morning he popped you in an Uber with a kiss to your cheek.

You both knew what had happened. A silent agreement that it would be your little secret that you’d both move on from so the possibility of any consequences from your actions didn’t cross your mind.

‘I think something must be wrong’ you told the nurse who was looking at you sympathetically but you were hoping this was all some sort of weird joke.

‘Why don't we get you down for that scan? Then we can have a proper look and see’ she smiled but the thought of it being confirmed made you panic and you stood out of your chair quickly causing her to jump.

‘Oh no thank you, I think I’m just gonna head home. Sorry for wasting your time’ you told her, picking your bag up and rushing out the door before she had a chance to do anything.

Pregnant?

There was no way.

You carried on life as normally as you could for the next week or so until your next period never came and you realised you had to settle your own mind so you could go back to normal. You didn’t live too far from the big Sainsbury’s so you walked over there, hoping the fresh air would do you good and as soon as you walked in you were straight over to the pregnancy tests so you could pop them in your basket.

You weren’t sure how you ended up there, but you found yourself by the baby clothes, eyes scanning all the different vests and sleep suits until you got to the socks and you couldnt help but pick a pair up. There was something about tiny baby socks that always made you feel soft and you were so caught up in your own little world you jumped six foot in the air at the feeling of someone’s hand on your shoulder. Whipping round to be met with the very last person you wanted to see.

‘Y/n? You alright’ Mason laughed, pulling you into his side for a quick hug.

‘F-fine. What are you doing here?’

‘Jaz is coming over tomorrow and asked if I could grab a few bits for Summer. Socks was one of them actually so thank you’ he smiled, eyes leaving you briefly as he searched for the right size. ‘What are you doing over here? Someone you know got one on the way?’ He smiled before nodding to the socks in your hand. ‘If so, I’ve got some tips. Don’t get the socks with the frilly bits on the ankle, they basically disintegrate in the wash and if you’re looking for some good baby grows there a place online I found that are cheaper and better quality’ he told you, not noticing how stuff you’d become until his eyes were back on your and his face became concerned. ‘Y/n? You good?’

You couldn’t get anything to come out of your mouth and you could feel your eyes beginning to fill with tears but you were stuck. Wishing you could make a run for it but his eyes were holding you in place until the flew down into your basket and made contact with the only thing you didn’t want him to see.

‘Who are those for?’ He uttered, soft eyes back on you but you still couldn’t force any words out. Your bottom lip wobbled as he was finally catching on and the first few tears spilt from your eyes.

‘I’m scared, Mase. I don’t-‘ you began to sob, but he was quick to pull you into his chest and rub your back in hope of soothing you but his affection made it all worse.

‘it's alright, y/n. You’re safe yeah? I promise you everything’s fine’. He reassured you but you knew from his voice he was trying to process what was happening. ‘Look at me’

You pulled back, bleary eyes on his but the kind Mason you’d always known was looking back at you even if he was a little confused and overwhelmed.

‘Get what you need to and we’ll head back to mine okay?’

‘But-‘

‘No buts. Just meet me at the entrance’

‘Okay’ you nodded, wiping your face quickly and picking up your basket. ‘I just need this so I’ll meet you there’

Without a word, he took your basket from your hands and placed the tests in his before grabbing your hand and walking you through the shop to the self service tills. All you could do was stand in silence as he packed and paid before leading you to his car and leaving you to get settled in the passenger seat.

He was silent the whole way but you knew what he was thinking and once you were in his living room you knew you had to be honest.

‘Can I just ask, if you are… you know. Is it… um. Would it be…’

‘Your the only person I’ve slept with Mason’ you confirmed but you kept your head down as you didn’t want to see his reaction. ‘I haven’t been with anyone for months before and no one since’ you confirmed, your voice thick as you tried to talk and you almost lost it when he reached for your hand and placed your interlocked fingers in his lap. His touch giving you the courage to carry on speaking. ‘I went to the doctor about a week ago. I had a pain in my side and thought it was something serious so they tested me. They told me I was then but I didn’t want to believe it, like I thought they were wrong? But the more I think about it the more I need to see for myself’

‘Shit’ he breathed, squeezing your hand lightly before getting up. ‘Come on we can go to my room so you can use the bathroom he offered, thinking it was weird how he wanted to do this in the same place the potential baby could of been made, but you followed after him and took the test before he could say anything else and sat next to him on the bed.

‘How long do we have to wait?’ He asked, his voice barely above a whisper but you still heard him as the house was so quiet.

‘Two minutes’ you whispered back and when he took your hand in his you gave it a gentle squeeze.

The two minutes were up, mostly spent in silence, but you could feel him becoming restless so you grabbed the test and handed it to him.

‘Will you turn it over please? I can’t…’ you trailed off, looking down at the test as Mason held it with ever so shaky hands.

Pregnant

‘I’m sorry mase, I’m so sorry’ you began to sob, head falling onto his shoulder as you didn’t know what to do but he held you close to try and comfort you.

‘Hey, what have you got to be sorry for?’ He asked, but you were too overwhelmed to respond. ‘Listen to me, yeah? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. We did this together okay? So we’ll figure it out together too. You’re not on your own in this and whatever you decide to do I’ll back you’

‘I don’t even know what to think, I haven’t slept properly in weeks and-‘

He didn’t give you a chance to carry on, pulling you up and untucking his sheets before helping you get inside and crawling in next to you.

‘Let’s try and get some shut eye yeah? We can talk when you’ve had a sleep’

You didn’t have the strength to argue so you let him hold you to his chest. Sleep not coming easily as your small sobs were keeping you awake but the feel of his fingers massaging the back of your head sent you off shortly after.

~

‘I think this one’s out for the count’ Mason smiled, standing up so he could carry Thea over to the travel cot set up just at the end of the bed and you shuffled down to meet him just as he stood back up. The pair of you looking down at your sleeping girl, full of so much love and to you it almost felt like a proper family moment which was only amplified when Mason put his arm around your shoulder to bring you into his body.

‘I really can’t thank you enough, you know. I love our little one so much. Like more than I ever thought i could’ he told you quietly, voice emotional and you knew he was feeling overwhelmed from the whole day.

‘Takes two to tango, Mase’ you laughed, feeling him squeeze your shoulder gently.

‘Well you’re welcome’ he winked, eyes back on Thea like he didn’t want to miss a second.

‘Sometimes I still can’t believe I slept with you in the first place’ you laughed, looking over to his shocked and offended face and his expression only made you laugh even more. ‘Not in a bad way but we barely knew each other, Mase. I’ve never done that before, you know?’

‘I know I’m just kidding’ he smiled, his arm moving lower so he could tickle your waist a little bit. ‘I know she looks like me but she falls asleep anywhere and in two seconds flat just like her mumma, huh?’ He laughed, kissing your forehead softly and you couldn't help but nestle into him more.

"We're special ladies, what can I say?" you joked, wrapping your arms around him so you could hold him a little tighter and you felt the shiver as he spoke next.

‘You’re right. My special girls’ he told you quietly, your knees feeling weak as he spoke.

‘I feel like she takes after your dad more with the sleeping thing. I caught the pair of them having a nap earlier’ you told him, trying to deflect his words and show that they weren’t affecting you as much as they were but Mason's little laugh made your heart thump.

‘That’s true actually. Considering how he was in the beginning I love seeing them together’

‘Thick as thieves they are’

‘Yeah, he loves her so much. And you’

‘I don’t know about that’ you scoffed but he was quick to reassure you.

‘Of course he does’ he laughed. ‘He told me himself the other day how amazing he thinks you are and how proud he is of you. I know things were rough at first but were all on the same team now’

~

To say things had been tough at the beginning with Tony was an understatement. He didn’t know who you were, a stranger to him so when the pair of you decided you tell his family, you both decided on letting Mason tell his parents first without you there as he knew it would be a tough conversation. You’d kept it from them for a few months as you were still working out what you should do but you knew deep down you wanted to keep your baby and you were pretty sure Mason did too. Telling you he’d be there for whatever you needed and he couldn’t hide the smile that took over his face when you told him you wanted to raise the baby.

You’d been on edge for hours, Mason not letting you know at all how things had gone that day so when he finally texted you your heart was in your mouth.

You travelled to Masons the next day, making sure to wear something baggy as you knew you were starting to show and you wanted things to be as normal as possible but you knew as soon as you saw Masons dad’s face this was about to be anything but a normal conversation.

‘I don’t even know where to start. How did this even happen?’

‘Well-‘ Mason started but you could tell from the tone of his voice he was about to say something silly.

‘Mason’ you scolded, knowing he was trying to lighten the mood but this really wasn’t the time.

‘Look, dad. You don’t have to be so negative’

‘Can you blame me? I can't even believe we’re having to have this conversation. Are you not questioning anything? You only found out cause you bumped into her in Sainsbury’s’ he snapped at Mason before looking at you. ‘I mean were you ever going to tell him?’

‘Of course I was, I was just checking’ you defended before Tony dropped his head into his hands briefly.

‘Look, I’m just gonna come out with it’ he huffed and you swallowed down a big nervous gulp. ‘I’m not happy about this at all. This is the last thing he needs’

‘Dad-‘

‘No, Mase. I’m sorry but it’s the truth. This could be detrimental to your career and you know it. I mean how could you be so stupid?’ He asked him before his hard eyes were on you again. ‘Is this really what you want?’

You didn’t have the strength to speak but you knew deep down that this was what you wanted so you just nodded.

‘Well i just don’t think you two have assessed your options properly’

‘What are you talking about’

‘You don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to be. Either of you. I can make this go away-‘

‘Kitchen. Now’ Mason growled, standing up and storming off but you kept your head down as Tony passed by you. You knew he wanted to talk to him privately but Masons voice travelled as he was so angry so you couldn’t help but overhear.

‘That’s my baby. Not a this or an it okay? My baby. I brought you here to help, not for you to accuse and be rude. You either do that or if you continue to be horrible you can go’

‘You can’t talk to me like that’

‘I can talk to you like this when it concerns my family. Cause that’s what they are now. Part of my family. Part of our family and I won’t have you making y/n feel bad. She’s my friend and I want to be there for her.’

Friend

Why was that word sitting so uncomfortably in your chest?

You were friends, so why did hearing him say it sting so much?

Friends. That’s it.

Maybe in the back of your mind you wondered if you could be more one day but those thoughts were quickly pushed down so you could no longer feel them.

You two were friends.

After their little spat they managed to calm down, walking back into the living room to sit with you and you could already see Tony’s demenier had changed and he sent you a soft smile.

‘I’m sorry if I came across as rude, I’m just trying to look out for Mason’

‘I know. Whether you believe it or not I’m trying to do that too’

‘Okay, well then if we’re being serious, I have one suggestion’ he told you before his eyes flashed back and forth between the pair of you. ‘We can’t let this get out okay? Whatever you need, we’ll support you but we need to keep this under wraps’

‘What?’ You breathed, looking to Mason for some sort of support but the look in his face told you he wouldn’t be on your side for this one.

‘I kind of agree, y/n. You’ve seen how people are with me and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you. To either of you, okay?’ He told you, turning to face you as he took your hands in his. ‘I know it’s a lot, but I promise it’s for the best and you’ll be so much happier out of the limelight’

‘Wait, what?’ You asked, pulling your hands away from his as you were shocked at his words. ‘You don’t want anyone to know about them?’

‘Of course I do, just not the whole world. Not until the time is right at least just… just please think about this yeah? I wouldn’t suggest it unless I thought it was for the best’

‘Are you embarrassed of us?’ You asked quietly, feeling awful as soon as the words came out of your mouth as you watched his face twist into one of shock and hurt.

‘Of course not, I don’t want you to ever think that’ he reassured you. Cupping your jaw so you could look at each other properly. ‘I’m trying to protect you, okay? All I want for you and our baby to have a normal life. I want you to be able to go outside and not be followed or papped. And it’s not just for you yeah. Call me selfish but the thought of having my own little safe place that only we can visit means more to me than I can tell you. I could never be embarrassed of you, you two are the best things that have ever happened to me’ he told you sincerely, wiping under your eyes as you let a few tears fall from your eyes. ‘At least think about it?’

And think about it you did.

Mason was right, you wanted a normal life and the ability to exist without Mason's fame hanging over you. Since Mason’s friend comment you also realised you you’d have to try and find a way to make you’re feelings but as your baby grew, so did your love for him.

He didn’t make it easy for you. Long nights spent at each other's place, trying hard to get to know each other even more and plan for the future. There were so many questions and far too many answers to choose from and Mason's lack of concentration never helped. Always asking the baby in your tummy what they thought as he laid his head near your side. Your heart melting as he softly spoke to your unborn child like they were in the room while rubbing small circles on your tummy to sooth the pair of you. You still remember the first time he kissed your bump, hoping to say goodbye to the little one within but the way your heart pounded at the small gesture only made the baby move even more.

You pushed those feelings down though. Yes Mason was the father of your child but he quite clearly wanted it to be just that and you were fine with it.

Until you weren’t.

He was there for you for everything. All the appointments, the baby classes and when it eventually came to the time for you to give birth he was by your side until the end. Crying his eyes out as soon as they fell on your daughter and you felt like you’d hit the jackpot. He was perfect and made sure the pair of you never went without.

In the beginning you’d moved in with him but he eventually got you your own place nearby and you saw each other all the time. He was the best co parent you could have asked for and even though you could feel your feelings changing, his friend comment stuck in the back of your mind.

You still remember the day you fully realised you were hopelessly in love with Mason, and the memory didn’t sting any less now. It was a Tuesday and Mason had the day off so he’d offered to have Thea for the day to give you a break and you’d jumped at the chance.

You were running early and had tried to call mason ahead of time but he wasn’t picking his phone up so you figured you’d use the key he’d given you in case of emergencies.

You walked into a quiet and dark house and figured he must be in bed still so you carefully watched Thea climb the stairs to go and wake him before popping into the kitchen to grab yourself a bottle of water.

You were not prepared for the sight in front of you though, your heart sinking into your stomach as you caught sight of Mason pressed up against the counter, a girl you’d never seen before dressed only in his t-shirt flush against him as he kissed her lazily.

The only thing that broke them apart was the sound of the gasp that left your lips, quickly turning around so Mason couldn’t see your eyes full with tears as you walked into the other room and tried to push the memory out of your head.

It was only a few moments later you felt Mason rush in after you but you kept yourself facing the other way, not wanting him to see you crying and have him asking loads of questions so you spoke first in hopes he’d ignore the state you’d got yourself in.

‘Y/n-‘

‘Sorry, Mase. I didn’t mean to barge in like that. We were running a little early and I thought you were asleep since you didn’t answer the phone. Thea’s upstairs probably trying to find you to wake you up. I’ll go get her’ you told him, darting for the exit but his hand on your wrist stopped you in your tracks, pulling you back to his body and it was only then you realised he was shirtless. The image in front of you made all the blood in your body rush to your cheeks and you kept your eyes down even though he’d dipped his head in order to try and catch them so you’d look at him.

‘I’m sorry, y/n. You didn’t need to see that’

‘It’s fine, Mase. None of my business’

‘Y/n-‘

‘Look I need to get going, let me say bye to Thea and I’ll bring her down’

‘Can you just take her into her room for now? I’ll get rid of Amy and then grab her’ he mumbled, not wanting to be caught with a child in his house.

‘Sure’ you breathed, pulling yourself out of his grip before darting upstairs to find Thea who was laying on the floor of Mason's room trying to find him under the bed.

‘Hey baby, daddy told me he wants to play hide and seek so shall we go find you somewhere to hide so he can come and find you?’ You asked quietly, picking her up and she let out a small excited squeal as you snuck her over to her room.

‘Here’ she whispered, pointing towards her wardrobe and you carefully put her down so she could open the door and sit in the bottom, your heart melting as she covered her mouth with her hands to stop her excited giggles and even though you knew it had to be this way it was hard knowing you had to hide her like she was a dirty secret.

‘I’ve got to go now okay? You be good for daddy and I’ll come and get you in the morning’ you told her, kissing her quickly before standing up. ‘Love you, baby’

‘Love you, mummy’ she repeated back, blowing kisses back and forth before you shut the door carefully on her and made your way out into the hall.

‘Hi, I’m Amy’ you suddenly heard from beside you and you turned to find the girl from the kitchen coming out of Mason's room now thankfully fully dressed.

‘Y/n’ you smiled, trying to keep the pleasantries to a minimum but she for some reason wanted to keep on talking.

‘Mason said you were the housekeeper?’

‘Oh um-‘ you breathed, your heart sinking even lower as everything that seemed to come out of his mouth today hurt you.

‘Don’t worry, hopefully with me around a bit more we can keep the place a bit tidier’ she smiled and you had to bite your lip in order to not scream. You knew she meant well and wasn’t being mean but your heart was shattered and all you wanted to do was break down.

‘Hopefully. I um… I forgot something I just have to run home and grab it’

‘Okay well I’ll probably be gone by the time you’re back but it was lovely meeting you’ she smiled and all you could muster was a nod back before you flew down the stairs and straight passed Mason who was looking at you with wide eyes.

‘Wait, can we at least talk?’ Mason called, trying to reach for you again but you stopped in your tracks and span to face him causing him to stop suddenly also.

‘I can’t. But don’t worry, I’ll be back with my mop tomorrow’ you told him coldly, watching his face fall but you couldn’t look anymore. ‘I told Thea you’re playing hide and seek and she’s hiding in her wardrobe. Don’t leave her in there for too long’ you uttered, finally storming out the house and into your car where you finally let the first few tears fall.

What was supposed to be 24 hours of self care had turned into a pity party as you sat on your sofa with a face mask on and tried not to get too upset. There was no reason for you to cry over seeing Mason with someone else, you’d always told each other you would support each other through any new relationships but telling him that and actually doing it were two different things.

You tried pushing the thoughts down but you couldn’t deny it any longer. You loved Mason and the thought of him being with someone else was tearing you to pieces. He was so loving and the best dad to Thea you could ever ask for and the fact he saw you as just a friend hurt you more than you could ever explain.

You arrived at Masons around nine the next morning. Letting yourself in again but it was Thea’s tiny footsteps bounding towards you that greeted you today. You were more than happy to see her so you bundled her up into your arms before carrying her into the kitchen where Mason was cooking for all of you. Thankfully fully dressed this time.

‘Ah you’re here’ he smiled, turning the hob down so he could come and greet you with a kiss to your head. ‘Thea? Why don’t you go grab what you made mummy yesterday so you can show her yeah?’ He smiled and you quickly popped her down so she could run off before he touched your arm gently. ‘Can you let me explain?’

‘There nothing to-‘

‘Please’ he interrupted and with a little huff you gave him a nod. "Look, I’d do anything to protect you and Thea. That’s the whole reason we agreed she’d be secret and I just panicked yesterday. Amy asked who you were and I thought I’d just make something up to explain why you were here but you know I never meant to hurt you. That’s the last thing I’d want to do’

‘I know’ you whispered tearily and when he pulled you into his arms you didn’t fight back. Letting him hold you and stroke your hair to try and soothe you. Hating how his attempts at comfort worked so well on you. ‘It just gets hard sometimes’

‘I know, love. Trust me I know. I’d love nothing more than to shout from the rooftops about the two most important people in my life but I know this is for the best’ he breathed. ‘And I don’t want you to think I’ve got random girls over here all the time cause I don’t. I wouldn’t risk Thea being around people she didn’t know or I don’t trust’

Thea came bounding in soon after, a giant cut out of a turtle in her hands and it looked as though the shell had been painted by her repeatedly pressing her tiny hand into paint so her prints covered it and your eyes filled with tears immediately as you bent down to lift her up.

‘For you’ she smiled, pointing at it and you nodded whilst trying to clear your eyes. ‘Your favourite’

‘Yes baby, turtles are my favourite. Thank you I love it’ you told her, letting her nestle into your neck so she could give you a hug and Mason must have felt left out as you soon enough felt his arms around the pair of you.

It was times like this, when the three of you were together that made you feel most at peace. But the harsh reality was Mason wasn’t yours and looked to definitely not be now. You wanted to know about Amy but you also didn’t but when he eventually pulled away and once you’d popped Thea back on the floor, your mouth started talking before you could stop it.

‘Well Amy seemed nice. Is it serious? I presume you’ll want to tell her about Thea at some point?’

‘I uh, I only met her that night’ he told you, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he shut the dishwasher up and pressed it to start. ‘We’ve texted a bit before but that’s it’

‘Oh’ you breathed. ‘She told me she’d be around a lot more, like you guys were together’

‘I think she just felt a little threatened, was trying to mark her territory that wasn't hers anyway’

‘Threatened by what?’

‘Maybe the fact that a beautiful woman has the key to my house and can seemingly let herself in at any time?’ He laughed but his words made you freeze. ‘Don’t worry about her though, I won’t be seeing her again’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin it for you’

‘You didn’t’ he smiled, lifting Thea up so he could press a kiss to her cheek. ‘She knew it was a one time thing’ he shrugged before placing her on the counter in front of you. ‘Now who’s hungry?’

Knowing Amy was nothing more than a one time thing made you feel happier than it should, but not for long. Just because she was out of the picture now only meant that the next girl was around the corner and you weren’t sure you could take it.

It had taken you a while but you knew how you felt about him now. You loved him with all of you. Whole heartedly. He was your everything, your protector, your safe space, a shoulder to lean on and to cry on.

But you were just a friend to him.

He’d never once tried to make a move on you, even when you felt like there could have been one he always backed off and it was never spoken about again so the pair of you carried on just as you were.

Co parents. That’s it.

~

‘I should probably head off back to Lew. He probably thinks I fell down the plug hole or something’ mason laughed, rolling his eyes before pulling you fully against him. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he held you at your waist but somehow things felt different.

This wasn’t a normal hug, Mason was holding onto you and didn’t seem to want to let go at all as he slowly rubbed circles into skin with his thumbs and nestled into your neck. There was a need on your part to hold him tighter, to reach up and stroke the back of his head like you used to when he’d fall asleep next to you when you were still pregnant. You were unsure if the thumping in your chest was your heart or his but as you finally reached up, it only got stronger as his whole body melted into yours. His nose burrowing into your neck even further to breathe in your scent and you could feel yourself turning to jelly as the content hum emitted from him.

This definitely wasn’t a normal hug.

‘I love you, y/n. You know that, don’t you?’ He told you, his words sending shockwaves through you and even though your mind had gone blank at his words you managed to stutter out a response.

‘I love you too, Mase’

You felt him shift, escaping your neck as he ever so slightly stood up. Your hand that was on the back of his head now trailing to the side of his face as you held him by his jaw and stroked his cheek gently. You didn’t know what was coming over you to be like this with him. Maybe the fact you were in the dark so you were feeling a bit braver but when he lightly stroked his nose across your temple before resting his forehead on yours, you couldn’t help but lean up and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

Mason didn’t react making you wonder if it was so soft that he didn’t actually even feel it but when his eyes flashed to yours and you realised he had, you felt your heart sink.

Any type of reaction would have been fine, but he was unreadable and you were starting to panic. Pulling away from him even further as you attempted to apologise for crossing that line but he pulled you closer, his lips making a beeline for yours but you ducked down so they met your forehead.

‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ He asked, trying to get you to look at him but you were far too embarrassed for that.

‘I’m sorry, I just got swept up I-‘

‘Are you kidding me?’ he laughed, making you look up to see what he found so funny but the look of joy on his face settled you. ‘You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that��

‘What do you mean? You whispered, confused as to what was happening but his smile was giving you courage.

‘Did you not hear what I just said? I love you. I’m in love with you, y/n. I really am. Have been this whole time. Not just because you’re the mother of my child and we’re forever connected but for who you are as just you. All I’ve wanted this whole time was for us to find our way to each other, please tell me you feel it, like I’m not going crazy am I?’

‘No you’re not’ you told him, voice barely audible as you were so overwhelmed but the smile on his face settled you. ‘Why have you never said?’

‘I always got the impression you didn't want me like that but I can't hold it in anymore. I can’t pretend like you’re not all I want’ he confessed and you felt tears spring in your eyes.

‘I’ve always wanted more with you but…’

‘What, love?’

‘I thought you didn’t want me like that. I heard you call me your friend to your dad once and just assumed that’s all you'd ever see me as’ you told him but the soft kiss to your forehead made you smile.

‘You’re so much more than a friend to me’ he laughed, reaching up to cup your jaw so you’d look at him properly ‘you’re mine okay?’ Always have been’

‘Yeah?’ You laughed, watching his smile break out even wider before he placed a delicate kiss on your nose.

‘Yeah’

‘I can’t believe this’ you laughed, reaching up to hold his face again. ‘When did you know?’

‘What, that I loved you?’ He asked and you nodded shyly, not quite believing the words that were coming out of his mouth. ‘I think I’ve always known really. Our 12 week scan always sticks out the most, I just loved seeing that excited look on your face when they finally pointed her out. I know you probably thought I was looking at the screen but I wasn’t. I was looking at you’ he confessed and your eyes stung as he smiled down at you softly. The gentle feel of his thumbs stroking over your cheeks making your heart flutter. ‘And then we were about five months in, and you came over to meet everyone properly. Do you remember?’

‘I remember’

‘You wore that bloody summer dress and it showed off your bump perfectly and I just remember thinking you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I just wanted you to be mine but I never got the feeling you wanted me to be yours’

‘I wanted you. I was just trying to protect myself a bit I guess’ you explained but he nodded sympathetically. ‘I can’t believe we’re having this conversation while I look like this’ you laughed, looking down at his baggy clothes you had on but his smile melted you.

‘What do you mean?’

‘We’ll look at me. I’m wearing your old pyjamas that are miles too big, my hairs a mess and I’ve got no makeup on’

‘You think I care about that’ he laughed, pressing his lips to your forehead and letting them linger there. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I think you look perfect everyday, like I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look bad. But getting to see you right now, like this. Just you exactly as you are. I don’t think you’ve ever been more beautiful to me’

‘Not even when I was pushing our daughter out of me?’ you joked, trying to deflect a little bit as his words had made your brain foggy and your knees weak and the way his lips were moving against your skin as he spoke onto your forehead wasn’t helping too much either.

‘Well you were a bit sweaty then and you kept swearing at me’

‘Hey’ you laughed, pulling back to look at him but his cheeky smile made you smile back just as wide.

‘Still beautiful though. Even then’ he winked. ‘When did you know’

‘I always have, but I was trying to push it down and I thought I had until…’ you trailed off, watching as his brows raised in hopes you would continue. So you stood tall and decided to be honest with him. ‘Remember when I walked in on you and that girl in the kitchen?’ You asked, watching his face crumple in embarrassment as he rested his head on yours again.

‘I remember. I felt like shit when I realised it was you and all I wanted was for you to tell me you felt like shit too but you told me it wasn’t your business. That killed me, you know. I wanted it to be your business. I wanted you to tell me you hated seeing me with someone else cause I was yours and you needed me like I needed you. Like I still need you.’

‘I felt like shit too’ you laughed, watching his eyes soften at your words. ‘That’s why I couldn’t even look at you cause I felt like my cover would be blown but I hated seeing you with her cause in my mind you were mine, are mine and I do need you’

‘You’ve got me’ he whispered.

‘You’ve got me too’ you replied softly, relaxing into his hand that cupped your face

‘Is this the part where I’m supposed to kiss you now?’ He whispered, A cheeky smile on his face as his eyes darted across your features and down to your lips causing you to take in a short breath. This is all you’d wanted for the longest time so you shut your eyes and let him place his lips on yours.

Kissing him was everything you thought it would be. He was gentle but firm as he lazily kissed you like he had all the time in the world, but you felt like you did. This was just the start for the pair of you and you couldn’t help but moan as he dipped his tongue into your mouth. Everything felt perfect and you wanted to stay in this little moment forever before you had to pull away.

You were both out of breath, foreheads touching as you smiled at each other but just before you were about to speak Thea made her presence known and began to cry. You both jumped apart at the sound, Mason reaching down to scoop her up and into his arms and you rubbed her back soothingly whilst leaning on Mason's shoulder so you could try and catch her eyes.

‘What’s wrong baby? Bad dream?’ You asked and the small nod of her head confirmed your thoughts. ‘Oh sweetheart. How about you me and daddy get into bed so we can have a cuddle. Would you like that?’ You asked her before looking at Mason who was staring at you in semi shock. ‘If that’s okay. You don’t mind staying for a bit do you?’

‘You really think I wanna go bunk with Lew and leave you in here after everything we’ve said tonight’ he laughed.

‘Go jump in, I just need the loo’ you told him before quickly rushing off.

You couldn't stop looking at yourself in the mirror. It was still the same you as before but your eyes were brighter, cheeks flushed and you knew you hadn’t looked this happy in a long time.

When you came back in, Mason was under the covers with Thea. His body facing yours as Thea cuddled up to him and by the looks of things she was already back to sleep, safe in her daddy’s arms.

As soon as he saw you, Mason pulled the covers back and held his arm out to help you in next to him. Even though Thea was sandwiched in between you she was low enough so that you could still see his face and the shy smile he sent you made your tummy flutter. This is all you’d ever wanted, the three of you as a happy little family and when Mason reached over to drop a quick kiss on your lips you let him.

‘Will you come back to mine tomorrow?’ Mason whispered, trying not to wake Thea from her sleep now she was finally back off. ‘I feel like we should talk about this a bit more’

‘Of course I will’ you smiled, a shiver rolling through you and you felt him lean across Thea to place his hand on your waist. Feeling like all your little puzzle pieces had finally fallen into the right place. ‘I wonder what your family will say. I feel like we’ll have to tell them when we’ve figured it out for ourselves’

‘I think my dad knows already somehow’

‘How?’

‘Well when the move to Manchester came about, I almost didn’t take it. I couldn’t face the thought of leaving you and I had a right go at my dad for even suggesting it’ he explained quietly with a little laugh.

~

You remembered the day well. Letting yourself into Mason's house and you could hear the argument in the kitchen all the way from the front door, Mason was furious about something although you couldn’t quite tell what yet. Thankfully Thea was sleeping so you ran her upstairs to place her into her room before heading back down and you sat on the stairs in order to listen to what they were saying.

‘I can’t go there, I’m sorry. I need to be close to here’ Mason told his dad seriously but the sounds of Tony sighing made you realise this conversation was far from over.

‘Mason, you can’t let this opportunity slip through your fingers-‘

‘I’m sorry, but it’s not happening. No way I’m not being that far away from them’

You felt awkward sitting and listening in so you took the plunge and went to see the pair of them. Tony’s eyes lighting up as soon as he saw you before he nodded over to Mason.

‘Finally, will you talk some sense into him please?’ He asked before leaving you to it so you quickly took up the seat next to him and you couldn’t help but think he looked like a frightened little boy.

‘Mase, what’s up?’ You asked, your heart breaking as his bottom lip wobbled slightly.

‘All my contract stuff with chels is still up in the air and they basically won’t talk to me about it. Pretty sure they wanna sell me so I’ve been given some proposals by other clubs’

‘Okay’ you nodded, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. ‘That’s good though right?’

‘They’re so far away though’ he huffed ‘United have sent their personal terms through and I’m just feeling a bit reluctant to agree’

‘Why’s that? Is it not what you were expecting?’

‘No, it’s great, like more than I could ever want but I don’t wanna be away from you’ he confessed quietly. Your heart racing at his words before he seemed to catch himself. ‘The both of you like I don’t see Thea as much as I’d like to anyway and now you’d be hours away I can’t do it y/n-‘

‘Hey Mase, it’s okay’ you told him, pulling him into your arms and you were surprised at how he clung to you like he thought you might disappear. Your heart thudding at how tightly he was holding you but you knew it was because he was trying to hold his emotions in.

‘I don’t want any of this’ he sniffled. ‘Why is this happening?’

‘Mason, you don’t have to get upset, it's okay. You’re so talented and of course you’re gonna have clubs from everywhere after you. Please don’t pass up this opportunity’

‘I just don’t wanna be that far away. I don’t want anything to change’

‘Mason look at me’ you asked, pulling back and resting your hands on his shoulders but the sadness in his eyes hurt you. ‘You’ve got nothing to worry about, okay. Wherever you end up, that’s where you can find us okay? We’re a family and I won’t break that apart’

‘You mean…?’

‘We’ll come with you, Mase. The only thing that ties us to here is you so there wouldn’t be any point in staying if you’re not here. It can be a fresh start for all of us’

‘Are you sure?’ He whimpered and could could see the relief flooding through him.

‘Of course I’m sure. Home is where the heart is right?’ You smiled and your heart broke at his wobbly lip.

He didn’t say a word, just pulled you into his arms forcefully and held you to him as tight as you could and you finally felt him relax.

~

‘When you hugged me, my dad snuck back in the kitchen and saw us. Started giving me the eyes like he knew something was going on between us. I just rolled my eyes at him like he was talking shit but he was right. He could see how I felt from a mile off but I was convinced it would never happen’

‘Of course he did’ you laughed, a yawn escaping your lips as he squeezed you side gently.

‘I know we need to talk, but let's get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive tomorrow’ he whispered and even though you didn’t want to, you knew he was right so with one final kiss you both settled down and shut your eyes.

When you woke up the next morning, Debbie was the last person you thought you’d see in your room. Carefully picking up Thea from between you as Mason scolded her lightly but she quickly made her exit before you could ask what was happening although from the sounds of her gentle laughs you knew what she was thinking already.

‘Well I guess they know now’ he laughed, shuffling his way over to you to be closer and you could feel yourself melting into his touch. ‘Apparently Lew said I never came to bed last night and she came searching for me but she’s taken Thea to get her some breakfast’ he explained and you nodded shyly, content in his arms as your legs tangled together before you started smiling at each other lovingly. ‘whenever you’re ready, I want everyone else to know too. I’m done keeping this a secret’

‘What? I thought you wanted this to be between us’ you asked but the twinkle in his eye made you melt.

‘Everyone else is allowed to show off their family and I’ve had enough of keeping you two to myself. I wanna do the same’ he told you quietly before finally pressing his lips to yours in a much needed kiss. ‘Unless you don’t want to. We can still keep things on the down low if you think that’s best’

‘I’m ready for everyone to know’ you smiled. ‘I want everyone to know you’re mine’

‘And you’re mine’ he smiled softly, hand cupping your jaw so he could gently caress your face before leaning down to kiss you again.

You’d done it. He was yours.

You wanted to get carried away, caught up in his kisses and pour yourself into him to prove that you wanted him just as much as he did but all the sounds from downstairs were making it hard to concentrate and you knew you had to face his family sooner or later.

‘Come on, let’s get it over and done with’ he laughed, pulling you to his body so that he could hold you even tighter and when he felt you chuckle, he kissed the top of your head lovingly. ��Well in a few minutes maybe’

You made it downstairs eventually, Mason keeping his hand in yours the whole time as you sat at the table next to Thea and it was almost as if everyone was ignoring the obvious until Tony took the seat opposite you and sent you a wide smile.

‘I would say welcome to the family but you’ve been here a while’ he teased before his eyes were on Mason. ‘Bloody took you long enough’

‘Yeah yeah, alright’ Mason laughed, a slight blush on his cheeks as he tried to brush off everyone’s jibes and even though you were a little embarrassed yourself, Masons hand was clasped firmly around yours and you knew you were finally home.

masonmount

liked by y/n, declanrice, sophiaameila and others

masonmount thank you everyone for the birthday love. The greatest gift I got this year was being able to spend it back home with my whole family, my baby girl and the woman who’s turned my whole life upside down in the best way possible 🤍 I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.

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Y/n we love you so much 🥺 I’m so excited about this next step in our journey together 🩷

masonmount Love you more mumma 🩷

delcanrice daddy Mase

masonmount 😏

sophiaameila I’ve been waiting for this day for the longest time I swear 🥺 the cutest family in the world 🩷

masonmount so have I 😂 thank you for everything soph

lew.mount love you guys ❤️

Y/n Thea loves her uncle Lew 🩷

masonmount ❤️❤️❤️

tammyabraham sorry, since when do you have a child?

masonmount long story bro, we’ll catch up soon I promise 😂

benchilwell wow you think you know a guy

masonmount don’t start or I’ll cut your visitation hours

benchilwell you would never, I know Thea misses her favourite uncle 😌 happy for you bro 🩷

woody_ finally got your girl 🙌🏻

Y/n took him long enough

manchesterunited our favourite little red ❤️

masonmount ❤️❤️❤️

[cxcewg]

here with you

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!model!reader type: social media au author’s note: first time writing a social media au, hope you enjoy! lots of high school musical references in this haha but this was sm fun to make (took some time since it was my first time) and i did spend some time raging at tumblr before realizing id messed up i was gonna release this on tuesday, but because of charles's pole and then p3 i just had to get this out early so 😘 warnings: none! masterlist

liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, and 88,855 others

yourusername good times

tagged francisca.cgomes, pierregasly

view all 1,389 coments

verstoppn1 liked by pierregasly?!

verstoppn1 oh he’s tagged im stupid

francisca.cgomes sm fun 😂

yourusername haha a bit too much francisca.cgomes pierre was not happy  pierregasly my head still hurts 😔

indy019 wasn’t charles there?

yourusername he couldn’t make it sadly 😭 indy019 OMGG IM SCREAMING ILYSM

charles_leclerc wish i could have been there

yourusername ❤️ charlos4life omg the red heart? sharl.lecf1 i lowkey ship im ngl charlos4life ok chill its just 1 red heart

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 125,307 others

pierregasly 🌃

tagged yourusername, francisca.cgomes

view all 3,917 comments

yukitsunoda0511 where was my invite?!

pierregasly you told us you were busy yukitsunoda0511 oh right i forgot

yourusername same time next week?

francisca.cgomes yesss

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerusssel63, and 225,206 others

yourusername take 2 (ft. charles)

tagged francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, pierre_gasly

view all 5,826 comments

carmenmmundt ill bring george next time

yourusername yes carms!!

lilymhe so sad i couldnt make it 😭ill see you at silverstone though!

yourusername gl at shoprite ❤️ lilymhe 😘 f1vibes she’s going to silverstone?

cnlarlslec wait they’re so cute together

gaslypxiere fr, kika and pierre are a match made in heaven cnlarlslec i was talking about charles and yn but yk that works too

lannorrizz id give my liver to be a part of this friend group

mclaren.fan01 double date?!

nightsanna yn and charles arent dating tho? mclaren.fan01 shut up and let me be delusional ty

ynfan.1 you have to admit theyd be one bombass couple

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yourusername silverstone you were amazing

tagged francisca.cgomes, pierregasly, alpinef1team

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charles_leclerc come to ferrari next time?

yourusername get me a paddock pass and i will charles_leclerc already done lestappen4lifx OMG WHAT

alpinef1team happy to have you, come again sometime!

rosiesangel who is she?

f1luvr she’s a model who works at the same agency as kika and shes friends with the grid through pierre

hppycharles dang she should take up photography

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 211,923 others

yourusername spa i love you (p.s. congrats on pole charles)

tagged scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

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carlossainz55 it was amazing to meet you :) charles has told me so much

charles_leclerc CARLOS naatt03 DAMNNN LMAO OK CARLOS

scuderiaferrari we loved having you!

charles_leclerc ❤️

username THE RED HEART AGAIN IM DEAD

lecharles bro the second yn shows up charles gets a pole, does ok in the sprint too, AND THEN P3 IN THE ACTUAL RACE

lechairxx fr shes like his lucky charm or something yukisan he wants to impress her 😉 pierre_gasly yes he does lecharles PIERRE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher, and 129,201 others

lando.jpg he got some moves

view all 1,005 comments

charles_leclerc i didnt even know that was being taken

lando.jpg thats because you were too busy flirting with yn essiebessie DAMN LANDO AIRING OUT CHARLES’ BUSINESS LIKE THAT bellie02 wait so is this confirmation? applebottomjeans lando you’re so screwed lmao

pierregasly gvmve mewqeo photo ofre chslr aasdk yn ksifn

yourusername someone take his phone away charles_leclerc on it pierregasly smtgnfrn yudont wnna say snarls? yourusername where is kika 😭 lechres1 pierre had way too much champagne lechres1 wait lechres1 THE ;JLSDKGJRELNJKTWL lechres1 YALLL DID REWENJ JSUT GET CONFRIMATION lechres1 HOLD UP IM POSTING THIS ON TWITTER

comment has been deleted

amhyy lando being charles’ biggest fan

gusgus208 yn and charles again?!

1vstarpen the f1 grid is suc a vibe tbh

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charles_leclerc Home GP video on my YouTube channel now 🇲🇨🤍 Link in bio

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lechres1 DID YALL SEE YN IN THAT BECAUSE ISTG IM NOT SEEING THINGS 

lechres1 at 7:10 timestamp estie.bestie WAIT I THINK THATS HER

indy019 anyone else hear about yn in this and came straight here to check

amizesgrace ✋  sleepininspa ✋ paddockgirlie ✋

nlsonarp we love you charles!

isa.bel are you and yn dating?

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 712,127 others

yourusername ive never had someone as good for me as you ❤️

view all 11,993 comments

pierregasly 👀

verstoppn1 PIERRRE DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DONT KNOW

dannyric3 IS THIS CONFIRMATION

ln4444 THAT HAS TO BE CHARLES RIGHT

ashlili HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL QUOTE?!!

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes and 1,099,328 others

charles_leclerc I've never had someone that knows me like you do

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lechres1 OK THIS IS DEFINITELY YN

ynluvr1 SIMULTANEOUS SOFT LAUNCH

landohasrizz4 SKIP THE SOFT LAUNCH WE KNOW ITS YN

liked by charles_leclerc unliked by charles_leclerc landohasrizz4 ASDAFGHJKGFDSD HE LIEKD IT ITS YN

happyinlove ALSO HSM LYRICS

hungrif1fan im more surprised that charles has watched hsm happyinlove HE SURPRISES US EVERYDAY

sharl.lecf1 STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS IS IT YN

charlos4life wait yn didnt like is it actually not her?

lechres1 BOTH OF THEIR SOFT LANCHES ARE FROM WHAT IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR FROM HSM ITS DEFINITELY HER lechres1 if its not her i will break osmething tho

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,401,416 others

yourusername it feels so right to be here with you ❤️

tagged charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc I've never had someone that knows me like you do

charles_leclerc je t’aime i love you your_username mon amour my love

pierregasly AHAHAHH PAY UP LANDO

landonorris fine landonorris charles you really failed me supamaxvst1 i love that the grid is just as happy as we are your_username YOU GUYS BET ON US?! landonorris uhhh pierregasly yea we bet which of you would hard launch first charles_leclerc sorry lando

landonorris great now stop making out when im literally in the room

carlossainz55 yeah its disgusting yourusername you guys are literally in love dont even

sharl.lecf1 HAHA I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING

charlos4life ok shut up sharl.lecf1 😌

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charles_leclerc you might be ready to say good bye to east high but ill never be ready to say good bye to you

tagged your_username

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yourusername the high school musical quote ❤️i’m so proud of you

charles_leclerc je t'aime tellement ma chérie i love you so much my dear

justpeachy SCREAMING I CANT HANDLE THIS 😭

charlos4life WHEN IS IT MY TURN

sharl.lecf1 IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM OMG

josieeeee why don’t you do this for me?

maximx_ because the last time i tried to do a cheesy instagram launch you broke up with me josieeeee yes but we got back together didn’t we? maximx_ someone save me please

liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, and 909,412 others

yourusername 800k likes and i’ll force charles to watch high school musical 2

view all 19,175 comments

yourusername god that was fast

yourusername kk we’re gonna watch it yourusername will update y'all l8r

charles_leclerc il n'y a rien que je ne ferais pas pour te faire sourire mon amour theres nothing i wouldnt do to make you smile my love

yourusername 🥺 landonorris whipped pierregasly whipped yukitsunoda0511 whipped carlossainz55 whipped charles_leclerc what does whipped mean?

[xxspringmelodyxx]

Misunderstanding

Gojo Satoru x F!Reader (Angst)

You have unfortunately found yourself falling in love with the one man you shouldn’t have. The one man who told you himself that love was a curse. You knew he would never be able to love…and if he did, it would be with Utahime. Those two were spending a lot more time together than usual, and that was a tell-tale sign that they would soon become a thing….or at least, that’s what you thought.

______________________________

Warnings: None

Word count: 6.3k

_____________________________

I looked up at Toru, watching his eyes sparkle as he continued to talk about his crazy day. I was too dazed by his eyes, feeling my heart race just a bit from seeing the gorgeous blue hue they had. They were especially pretty when he was talking about something he was passionate about, just like now. I could quite literally stare into his eyes forever.

That was shortly lived, however, as the sound of a door opening came from behind me, though I ignored it. Toru, unfortunately, did not. Not even a few seconds passed before he looked away, his eyes catching something…or someone else. My eyes followed his and saw our good friend, Utahime. I looked back at him and saw that he was staring at her with what looked like infatuation. I felt a tight pain in my chest as he continued to stare at her. What I would do to get him to look at me like that. The thought of it made my heart flutter a bit, quickly snapping back to normal as I realized I was daydreaming again.

I looked up at him once more and saw that his body was tensed up as well. Was he…nervous? I had never seen him like this before, well at least not towards people. Without realizing it, my body involuntarily tensed up as well. I won’t lie, I felt a little hurt that he would look at her anytime she showed up, completely ignoring me.

For the past three months, whenever Toru and I were alone together, she would just come in and ruin the moment. If she wasn’t your friend, you would hate her with all your being…

I looked away from Toru once I realized I had completely lost him. My posture started to slouch a bit as I started to grab my things to get ready to leave. All I needed to do was make an excuse and, voila, Ill be out of their hair.

While I was thinking of how I could get out of this situation, Utahime looked back at you two and rolled her eyes at him, looking at you. Her face brightened up a bit as she walked closer to you two. At this point, Toru had already stopped talking about his day, subtly fidgeting with his sleeve as she came closer.

“Hey N/n! Satoru.” She said as she sat down next to me, placing her arm around you to give you a slight hug. Not wanting to be rude, you gave her one back.

No matter what feelings you had for Toru, you knew it wasn’t her fault that she caught the attention of the white haired boy. After all, she was a good and true friend to you.

“Hey ‘Hime.” You said, trying to hide the sadness behind your voice. Unbeknownst to you, the two caught it with ease.

“Are you okay?” She asked, unsure of where this sudden sadness came from.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just a little tired.” You lied, making the both of them confused.

“Well, that stinks! Because I was hoping that you would come to the park with me later tonight with Satoru, Shoko, Geto, and I. We were all planning to hang out for a bit since it’s been a while since we last hung out.” She said, hoping you would say yes to going.

“Didn’t we all hang out last week?” I asked, making her pout.

“Yes, but it was fun! We need to do it again! Human communication is good for the mind and the body. We could even play baseball, your favorite sport!” She said with her hands clasped together. I rolled my eyes playfully, smirking a bit.

“Last time I remember, Baseball is your favorite sport. Besides, I think I am a bit tired out.” You said, making Toru and Utahime look at each other with concern.

“W-We could just come over and hang out with you!” Toru suggested, but you shook your head.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just need a little…alone time for myself.” You said, still feeling hurt from the whole Toru situation. Gosh, you knew it was a horrible idea to fall for him. He even said it himself that love is the greatest curse…so why the hell is he falling in love with Utahime! Sometimes you just wish everyone would just go away and maybe…just maybe your feelings would eventually disappear as well.

Oh how you wish you could just go back to the times where all you felt for Toru were platonic feelings. At least then you would have probably felt more energized and happy. But now, you are stuck with stupid feelings for a stupid guy.

“Oh come on, N/n! Just stay for thirty minutes with us! I’ll even make the boys carry you if you need it. Please!” Utahime begged, holding your hands in hers, hoping you would say yes.

You looked up at her eyes and saw how desperate they were. You sighed, wishing you could just say no…but you’d feel bad if you did. She’s doing those stupid puppy dog eyes on you, too.

“Fine, but only thirty minutes. No more.” I said, making her smile widen.

“Good! That’s all we need!” She spoke, looking towards Toru now.

There that awful feeling was again. The feeling that made your stomach churn and your heart break little by little. The feeling that made your throat stiffen up, making it feel as though you were swallowing nails.

“Listen, it was really nice talking to you two…but something just came up and I need to go.” I said, packing my things and quickly standing up to get out of there. However, Toru and Utahime both stood up and tried to follow you.

“Wait, is it something bad? Do you need our help?” Utahime asked once more.

I waved them both off, trying to rush to the door so they wouldn’t ask any more questions.

“don’t worry about it. Just got a call about an important thing I need to attend to.” I said, lying straight through my teeth. I cringed a bit at my poor excuse, but I needed to get out of there fast before the two of them started ogling eyes at each other.

“Are you sure?” Toru asked, quickly noticing that you were lying.

“Positive. See you both tonight.” You said, finally getting out of the building you three were in and rapidly walking towards your car. You buckled up and left the area, going right back to your apartment.

———

“Ow! What the hell was that for!” Satoru hissed at Utahime for slapping him on the shoulder.

“What is wrong with you, you idiot! You were supposed to ask her to go with you!” She yelled at him.

“I know…but….I got nervous.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock! By the way, way to ignore her after I came in.” She glared at the boy.

“It’s not my fault! I couldn’t just keep looking into her eyes! Her bright, beautiful, gorgeous looking, eye catching-“

“Yeah we get it Romeo. You get nervous looking into her eyes, causing you to look anywhere but at her. But you looked like a total dick when you did that! You need to learn to keep eye contact with her! And DON’T look at other women when talking to her, then getting distracted! How the hell did you think that was okay?!” She said back to him.

“I don’t look at other women! I just looked at you because you came barging in yet again!” He yelled back

“Because you sent the signal that you need help! You have done this for the past three months and we have gotten nowhere! I swear this is the longest and most borish way of asking a girl to be your girlfriend! I’ve seen teenagers more efficient in asking out their crush!”

“Yeah, well they don’t understand the risk that will come if the other person doesn’t accept. They don’t have to worry about losing a lifetime relationship just because someone caught feelings!” He said back to her, placing his hands over his face as he tried to calm down.

“I just wish it didn’t have to be so hard to ask her.” He mumbled into his hands. Utahime placed her hand on his shoulder, scooting closer to him, and trying to soothe him.

“Listen, I know it’s nerve wracking, but you can do this. You are Satoru Gojo! Deemed the strongest of them all! And you’re going to let something like this trouble you?” She asked

“But this is Y/n we are talking about, Utahime. I…I love her. Literally everything about her is the embodiment of perfection. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her personality. Everything. What if she doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings as I do? What will happen then? I don’t want to risk our relationship we already have going if it means I would lose her for good.”

“If you don’t try, you will regret it later on in your life and it will come back to haunt you every day if you don’t. If you do try, then at least you know you did everything you could.” She said, smiling softly at the stressed out man sitting in front of her.

Satoru stayed silent after what she said, taking her words into consideration.

He was terrified to say the least. What if you didn’t respond too well to his confession? What if you only see him as a friend…or worse, a brother? What if your guys’ relationship that you already had would be gone forever?

He rubbed his face in frustration, hating this rare feeling. Never in his life did he think he would actually fall in love with someone, let alone his lifelong best friend.

But then, Utahime’s words replayed in his head over and over again.

What if he never asked you? Would he truly be filled with regret? Sure his friendship with you would be fine…but would he be fine many years down the line when he sees you with another man that wasn’t him? Would he be fine with never knowing what could have been if he did ask? What would happen if you did accept?

Suddenly, he feels his heart race as his body starts to tingle at the thought of you accepting. That would make his whole world complete.

He still thinks to the day he realized he caught feelings for you. He and you were walking alone together down a street, just enjoying each other's company. You treated him like he was a regular human being, rather than this untouchable and other worldly being. You made him feel happy. You made him feel safe and… loved.

He remembered looking down at you as you smiled happily, talking about a memory from your guys’ childhood. He remembered how the golden sun rays hit your face perfectly, lighting your entire body up. You truly looked like an angel.

He remembers your scent that day. A warm and sensual scent that would drive anyone crazy, including him. The short and simple dress you wore, elegantly swaying in the opposite direction as it hit your thighs.

Everything about that day was beyond compare. That was when it hit him that he, the strongest sorcerer in the world, had captured feelings for you. He tried his best to deny it for several, long months. But as each day passed by, he noticed his want for you grew even stronger. He would catch himself staring at your hands, wondering what they would feel like to hold. He would constantly stare at your eyes, getting lost in them every time you spoke because they would sparkle. He would stare at your lips without you noticing, wondering what they would feel like on his. He watched as your hair blew softly in the wind, wondering what it would feel like as he played with it. Not a single day passed by where he didn’t think about you. And after almost a good two and a half years, he realized that he couldn’t deny his feelings about you anymore.

That’s when he reached out to Utahime about it because you and her were good friends as well. He wanted to get advice from her about how to ask you out. She was ecstatic to say the least, and agreed on making a plan to help you two get together. And so, three months later, here they were, still trying to figure out how to get you and him alone so that he could muster up the confidence to finally confess and ask you out.

“You are right, Utahime.”

“As usual.” She said

“And tonight could be perfect! All I need to do is get her alone-“

“Somewhere near a large fountain…maybe a tree on a hill! The lake even!” She interjected

“But how will I ask her? How should I confess to her? Should I just straight up tell her, ‘hey I am madly in love with you, so please go out with me.’?” He asked, making Utahime place a finger on her mouth, signaling to him that she was thinking.

“How about you practice with me? That way, we can go over what you should say, and what you shouldn’t say.” She suggested, making Satoru shrug.

“It’s worth a shot. I want to make this perfect for her.” He said, making Utahime smile.

“Then lets go over it. First things first, you’ll want to ease your way into your confession. Talk about something you two will remember.” She said.

Soon, the two of them worked little by little, revising when needed, and worked on making the best speech of all time.

However, little did they know that this would absolutely destroy their future plans.

As they were speaking, a certain someone came back to grab her phone as she left it due to her hurry to leave

———

As I was driving back to my apartment, I realized I didn’t have my phone. Sighing with frustration, I stopped my car as I realized I had left it back with Toru and Utahime.

“Damn it!” I spoke quietly under my breath.

I took another turn and headed back to the building I just left.

As I drove there, I was praying silently that those two would have already left. I was still hurting from the two of them, so I knew it would be hard for me to see them there.

I took one more turn and parked right in front of the building.

I got out of my car and looked up a bit to see both Toru’s and Utahime’s vehicles there.

“Great. This is just great.” I said, looking up to the sky. I noticed the weather was quickly changing, seeing the once light blue sky being quickly replaced with gray clouds that looked ready to release a monsoon.

I had better hurry up. Last thing I need now is an outdoor shower.

I picked up my pace a bit and made it towards the main entrance to the building. However, just as I was about to open it up, I heard Toru and Utahime talking.

Quietly, I placed my ear up against the door, eavesdropping in on what they were saying. However, I wished at that moment, that I never did.

“I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Every day when I think of you, my heart melts and I get this weird feeling in my stomach.” I heard Toru say.

My eyes widened a bit as I felt the pit of my stomach drop.

“There isn’t a passing day where I don’t think about you. Not a single one. I honestly wish I told you all of this sooner so that we could have spent more time together as one rather than two.”

Second by second, I felt my heart slowly crack with each sentence he spoke to Utahime.

It was until he said four final words that really broke everything.

“Will you be mine?” He finished

That’s when your entire world fell apart. Tears that were pooling in your eyes began to fall involuntarily. Your breathing became uneven as you replayed his words in your head. He finally did it. He finally asked Utahime out to be his love….his one and only.

Silent sobs began to escape your mouth, and you knew you needed to leave. You forgot all about your phone, too hurt to remember.

You got in your car, started the engine, and quickly drove off to your place.

You knew it wasn’t possible. You just knew it. But a part of you had silently hoped that maybe it was all a trick in your mind. A part of you had hoped that maybe…just maybe…he had the same feelings as you did. But now, it was obvious that it was all just in your head. How could he ever love a girl like you when someone like Utahime exists? She must be perfect in his eyes. Pure beauty.

Tears kept falling down your eyes as you got closer and closer to your apartment.

Once you did make it to your place, you quickly ran in, noticing the rain beginning to start.

You went inside and threw your stuff on the couch and walked to your bedroom, shutting the door and sliding down it as sobs continued to come out of your mouth. You were absolutely heartbroken and you didn’t know what to do about it. Your cursed energy became uncontrollable and your plants started to wilt. Whenever a teardrop fell to the ground a small plant would uproot itself from deep underground, only for it to wilt once it reached you.

It was all over. There was no chance left for you. And you had to deal with that…all alone.

——

“Together as one rather than two?” Utahime said with a grimace.

“W-Well, yeah. Isn’t it smart?” Satoru said with a proud smirk.

“It sounds cheesy as hell.” She said, deadpanned, irking Satoru.

“Oh yeah! Well why don’t you-“ Satoru started, but stopped once he realized your phone was still here.

“Hm?” He spoke, picking up your phone.

“Shit, she must’ve left it here by accident.”

“Wow, you’re a sorcerer and a detective. You really have it all don’t you.” Utahime said, making Satoru glare at her a bit.

“Why don’t you go to her place and give it to her. It would be a good way for you to talk to her a bit before we all go out tonight.” She suggested.

“Hm…not a bad idea. Who knew you had the capacity in your brain to make smart suggestions.” He said, making her smack him

“Whose the one helping you out right now because you’re too terrified to do this all alone!” She spoke, making Toru smirk a bit before standing up.

“Well, I suppose I should head over to her place now before it gets too late. Maybe Ill go get some snacks and I can give them to her as an apology for ignoring her today. I still can’t believe I did that.” He said, mentally cursing himself for doing that to you.

“Well then you had better make a move on buddy. She doesn't have all year.” Utahime said, shooing him away to go and talk to you.

“Alright, alright. I’m leaving. I can tell when I am not wanted. At least my sweet Y/n will want me…I hope.” He said, his body stiffening up.

Utahime took notice of this and smiled, walking up to the poor guy. She placed her hand on his shoulder once more and encourage him.

“You will be fine, Satoru. Now go. It’s already pouring rain, so hurry it up.” She said, pushing him outside.

“Thank you again, Utahime. For helping me out with all of this. I won’t forget it.” He said, walking back to his car.

Now, time to go buy you a bunch of stuff!

——

A good hour had passed and you were still on the ground. Though you were not crying anymore. You just stared at your dead plants with an empty look. Suddenly, your puppy and kitten came in to cuddle up to you. They took notice that something was wrong with you.

You chuckle a bit when your puppy, Tico, licks your face.

Your kitten, Mochi, purred as she wrapped her tail around your arm. They both cuddled up to you, making sure to show you that they care about you. They felt so warm and soft, it almost made you fall asleep.

However, you felt dirty and gross, plus you also knew that a shower would help you a bit. So you got up and went to take a shower.

You started running the water, discarding your clothes into the hamper. You felt the warm water and got in, easing into the water as it splashed onto your skin.

You took a good while in the shower, thinking about your feelings, hoping they would wash away with the water and down into the drain.

Tears started to form in your eyes once again, threatening to spill out. It hurt so much. It hurt so much to the point where you didn’t want to go anywhere for a long time. All you wanted to do was stay home, watch TV, and eat.

Maybe you just tell everyone you fell ill so you don’t have to go out. So you don’t have to watch Utahime and Toru be all lovey dovey in front of you. The thought of it made you sick to your stomach.

Fuck.

Why did you have to fall in love with him? Why?!

You were so caught up in your mind that you didn’t even notice tears were falling down your face like a waterfall.

Maybe Toru was right after all…maybe love is the biggest curse in the world.

—-

“Wow, that’s a lot of food you got there. What’s the occasion?” The cashier asked behind the counter, taking notice of the cart full of sweets, savory foods, and…some flowers.

“Oh well, they are for a special someone.” Toru said, a very faint blush evident on his face.

“Oh? A lover perhaps?” She asked, taking each item and placing them nicely in a bag.

“I hope…” He said under his breath. His hands gripped tightly onto your phone, getting more and more anxious with every minute that passed by. Thoughts were screaming in his head about how you would never feel the same way as he did. He did his very best to get rid of those thoughts, trying to give himself a pep talk. He was the strongest sorcerer of all time. Anyone would want him….anyone….right?

Once he paid the amount that was due, he quickly left and got in his car. He started it up and drove to your place, thinking about what he would talk to you about.

—-

You put on some comfy sweat pants and a tank top, going to the living room and turning something on. Though, you didn’t pay attention to it at all as you were still too lost in your own mind. Your eyes were swollen from crying, your nose was red, and your cheeks were tearstained.

You sat on your couch as you ate some cereal, desperately trying to remove Toru from your head.

You noticed that every single plant in and outside of your place were all wilted, but you didn’t care at the moment. You could fix them anytime you please if you wanted, so for right now, you didn’t tend to them.

It was so dark and gloomy in your house, especially with the rain that was practically pouring right now.

You were about thirty minutes into the show you were watching, still not fully attentive of it, but still catching up on some bits of it. Mochi and Tico were lying on top of your legs, keeping you warm and cozy.

You placed another spoonful of cereal in your mouth, when all of a sudden, your doorbell rang. Mochi and Tico ran off, going towards the door with excitement.

Confused, you placed your cereal down and paused the movie you were watching. You got up and went to the door, not realizing you were going to regret it in a few seconds.

There, standing out drenched from the rain, was the last man you wanted to see right now. He was holding bags of stuff, and your phone.

——

I drove into Y/n’s parking lot, parking my car and sitting there in silence. My heart was racing as I thought about her once again. My hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel to the point where my knuckles were bright white.

I looked up at her place and noticed something was wrong. All of her plants were extremely wilted, barely holding onto what life they had left of them.

I started to grow concerned as Y/n would never let something like this happen. I quickly grabbed everything in the car and walked up to her door. My hair was drenched from being outside for too long, but thankfully, my coat kept the rest of me dry.

I rang the doorbell, starting to grow anxious again. Within a few minutes, the door finally opened and there…she stood…

I looked down at her and saw that she was a wreck. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face had tear stains on them…was she crying?

Suddenly, his concern grew more and more as he caught a glimpse of her. What the hell happened that caused you to look like this?

Whatever the case, he was going to make you feel better. He couldn’t stand seeing you like this. It broke his heart seeing you in such a distressed state.

“Y/n…what happened?” He asked with genuine concern.

—-

“Y/n, what happened?” He asked me, making my heart wrench from his voice. This was the last thing I needed.

“N-Nothing, please just…go away.” I said, trying to shut the door. However, Toru blocked it from shutting with his shoe, pushing the door open.

“What do you mean it’s nothing? Did someone do this to you? Did someone hurt you?” He asked, starting to grow frustrated.

You hurt me

I thought, as he asked his questions.

“No. Now just please leave me alone. I don’t want you over.” I said, growing equally frustrated at his stubbornness.

He wasn’t letting go though, not after seeing you like this. He cared far too much about you to just leave you be.

“Y/n. You are going to tell me what is going on, right now. I am not leaving until you do so.” He said sternly.

“Damn it, why are you so stubborn! Just go, Gojo!” You yelled pushing against the door.

His eyes softened, looking down at you with hurt as he realized you called him Gojo instead of the usual Toru.

He didn’t want to admit it, but that stung when you said that.

Were you mad at him? Did he do something?

“Y/n…I…please just tell me what is going on.” He said, pushing past his feelings so that he could figure out yours.

“If I tell you, it will ruin everything. Besides, it doesn't matter anyways…just go back to Utahime.” You said with a bit of bitterness on your tongue.

That caught him off guard.

“Utahime?” He asked, confusion hitting him hard.

“Yes, I heard everything Gojo. Everything. I heard your confession to her at the building. How you told her that not a second goes by where you don’t think of her. And if that is the case, why the hell are you even here? Shouldn’t you be spending time with the love of your life?” You asked, the plants around you starting to grow once again, a little too much though.

That was when it hit Satoru. You caught him practicing with Utahime. Fuck!

He looked down at you frantically and dropped everything in his hands, forcing the door open and grabbing you.

“Let me go!” You said, struggling to escape his grip.

“Y/n stop.” He started, but tears started to fall down your face and it broke him. It wasn’t someone else who hurt you, it was him. And all because of a huge misunderstanding.

“Y/n would you stop for once and just listen to me!” He yelled, making you stop and stare up at him, your eyes full of water. If it wasn’t for the situation you two were in right now, he would grab you and kiss you to make you stop.

“What could you possibly have to say?” You asked, your voice breaking a bit.

“Y/n…that conversation you heard…it wasn’t what you think.” He started, making it your turn to be confused.

“That conversation…I was…I was practicing with Utahime. It wasn’t meant for her.” He said, making you calm down a bit and actually listen to him.

“Then if not for her…then for who?” You asked. You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear. If he said someone else’s name, you would officially break.

Before you could say anything else, you heard Toru sigh. His grip on your arms relaxed, and he let you go.

He suddenly became extremely fidgety with you, and you swore you could see a faint blush spread across his face. His eyes were now looking anywhere but at you.

“Y/n…that speech…it was actually made for…” He started, his breathing becoming more rapid from his nerves.

“Well….for you.” he said softly, still averting his eyes from your shocked gaze.

“W-What?” You asked, making sure you weren’t hearing things.

“It was for you, Y/n. I was just practicing it with Utahime because I wanted it to be perfect for you tonight when we all went out. You see, Utahime has been helping me try and confess everything to you for the past three months. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize it would be so hard confessing something like that to you. Every time I got nervous, I would send her a signal to help me out…but it always ended with you leaving.” He said, making your eyes widen at his confession.

“Y/n, I…I love you. A lot. Everyday I wish that you could be with me in my arms. I want to be the first thing you see every morning and the last thing you see at night. I want to hug you, touch you, kiss you, talk to you, and more. Everything about you is just so beautiful. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, all of it. I get nervous just thinking about you and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I tried to reject my feelings for you, but no matter how hard I tried, my feelings for you just came back stronger than ever. I was just so scared of losing you because I wasn’t sure if you’d like me back the same way.” he said, making your heart instantly repair from his words.

“But just say if this is all one sided and I will let it go. If I can’t have you romantically, I still wish to have you as a friend. I don’t want to sour our relationship we already have going.” He said, this time looking deep into your eyes. It all processed in your head too quickly, resulting in even more tears coming out of your eyes.

He took that as a bad sign however and sighed, feeling his heart break.

��I understand, I will just head out then. I don’t want to make this more awkward for the both of us.” He said, defeated.

However, just as he started to turn around and walk out. You ran towards him and hugged him, making you both fall to the ground.

“You never even let me say anything, you big idiot!” You said with tears still falling down your face. Quickly, all the plants and flowers in and outside of your place started to bloom like crazy.

“W-What?” He asked, still shocked from the sudden movement.

“I love you too!” You blurted out, making his eyes widen a bit and his heart race.

“Y-You…do?” He asked, completely in disbelief.

“Yes. I have loved you for so long. Almost three years. I just didn’t tell you because I thought you didn’t want to love someone. Also, I thought you had a thing for Utahime.” You said, making him sit up with you in his lap.

“Every time you would talk to me, I noticed how my heart would pick up its pace. I noticed how often I would stare into your gorgeous eyes and get lost in them. I noticed how often I would stare at your lips, just hoping that one day, they would get to touch mine. That was when I realized I had truly fallen for you. The one man who told me himself that love was the greatest curse of all time.” You said, making him chuckle sheepishly.

“I can’t believe I said that, especially now that I understand what it feels like.” He said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

Both of your faces heated up from the close contact. You could feel each other's breath on your lips as you came closer and closer.

“You said you wished for the day where my lips met yours?” He asked, making you look away from embarrassment, but you still nodded.

He chuckled and took your chin in his hand, making you face him.

“Don’t hide your pretty face from me, Y/n. I’m about to make your wish come true.” He said, finally closing the gap between the two of you.

It was at that moment where you felt as if everything around you didn’t exist. As if it were just you two alone in an empty space. You felt sparks as you felt his lips on yours, your heart was racing so fast you thought it was going to explode. He felt much the same. This was a moment he had been fantasizing about for ages. And it finally came true for the both of you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in closer to you, kissing him deeper.

After a few more seconds, you both released the kiss and stared at each other's eyes.

Suddenly, a vine from one of your plants wrapped around his arm, catching both of our attention. You gasped a bit from the overgrowth, barely able to see past your living room due to the crazy outburst of plants.

Toru chuckled a bit as you threw a mini fit at them, putting them back to normal.

Toru looked at you once more with a smile, rubbing small circles on your hips.

He kissed your cheeks, your eyes, the corners of your lips, and finally, your lips once again.

“I am sorry I made you cry this much. Had I known it would have done this to you, I would have confessed much earlier.” He said apologetically.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t know. Besides, that doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that we have each other now…” You said with your bright smile that he loves and adores.

“So…does this mean we are official now?” He asked, making you smile at him, playing with his hair.

“Why don’t you kiss me again and find out.” You said, making him smirk a bit. He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you into him, kissing you again with just as much love and passion as before.

“I love you, Y/n. I love you so much.” He said as he placed his forehead on mine.

I smiled, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

“And I love you, my Toru. More than you can imagine.” You replied, making his heart skip a beat once you said he was your Toru.

Suddenly, you both got a text from the group asking where you two were.

Toru replied and said that you two had a change of plans and decided to hang out together…alone.

Everyone in the group said some kind and sweet things…and some not so safe for work type of things.

Either way, you two ignored them and went back to each other.

“So what’s in the bags?” You asked, making him pick you up in his arms. A small squeak escaped your mouth as you felt his hands grip onto you.

“I bought a bunch of snacks for us to eat. They were supposed to be a little gift for you, but since you and I are going to be spending the night together, I figure it would be fun if we watched some movies and cuddled.” He said, making you chuckle at the amount of food he got.

“We are going to have the best time ever.” You said pulling him to the couch with you.

You two cuddled up together, turned on a movie and spent the rest of the night together. It was honestly one of the best nights that you both have had in a long time.

Toru kissed your head and whispered in your ear once more,

“I love you~”

You smiled again and turned your head to kiss him on the lips.

“And I love you~”

After that, you both slowly started to fall asleep in each other's arms, keeping each other warm and cozy.

______________________________

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is the wedding singer hired to perform at Dream's wedding reception(s) (.........each time he's left at the altar.). A 5+1 romcom.

Hob was hired as a joke by Dream's friends for his wedding reception -- Dream's super intense about his romances and all in for getting married (and his parents/family are soooo buttoned up) that a wedding singer like Hob should (hopefully) losen things up.

1. Dream's wedding is called off a week or two before; Hob charges his 75% cancelation fee;

2. Dream is left at the altar this time; Hob sees him in passing. He charges his full rate since he was ready to go and all set up;

3. A pregnant Calliope calls off the wedding the day of, and since the reception venue is attached to where she and Dream were going to be married, she talks Dream into eating cake and dancing with her -- they'll co-parent, but one of them had to be honest about how ill-suited they were for each other. Hob tries to make sure everyone has fun --- and sees Dream for the first time and is smitten by the sad sack pretty man dancing oh so poorly with the hugely pregnant lady;

4. Left at the alter again (and knowing Hob was at the reception venue), Dream's friends (Matthew, Jessamy, Lucienne, Joanna, Cori) drag him to drink and dance to Hob's singing. Hob finally gets to talk to his favorite broken hearted cutey;

5. At this point, Hob and Dream are friends (it took a while for Dream to get with the program) and while Hob really really likes Dream (he loves him so much), Hob could only watch the train wreck of Dream asking another person who doesn't really understand (or love him like Hob) to marry him.

Hob was not hoping for a repeat of the runaway bride/groom (above all he wants Dream to be happy) .....but on the off chance Hob was bad luck for Dream's weddings,,,,,,Hob agreed to sing at the reception; and

+1. Hob refused to sing for his own wedding!! He needs all the good luck he can muster to secure Dream as his husband.

I live for the idea of Hob being like "Hmm. I like this weird little man. Let me study him like a bug. And also marry him."

And listen, Hob prides himself on the fact that all the couples he's sung for have been very successful! Not a single divorce among them! Dream is managing to spoil that record all by himself, and Hob is determined to see this poor wet cat happily settled down.

He pulls out ALL the stops with romantic playlists and backdrops, sexy lighting, the whole shebang. He's never tried so hard to make his set a success, but he's determined to make the ambience perfect for Dream.

And it still doesn't work. Calliope seems like a lovely lady, though. She even thanks Hob for putting in so much effort. And says she hopes to see him at Dream’s next wedding. Oof.

Admittedly at weddings number 4 and 5, Hob is less determined to make the whole thing a success. He's not actively sabotaging them (Dream definitely doesn't need his help in failing to get married)... but he's not exactly sad when he gets to put his arm around the poor abandoned groom and comfort him in his hour of need. At number 5 Dream falls asleep with his head in Hob’s lap while he sings a soft lullaby, and Hob decides right then and there that there will be no more failed weddings. HE is marrying Dream, and he's not going to let anything stop him.

And so he doesn't perform at their wedding (because he's secretly afraid that it might bring bad luck). And they do make it to the altar, and through the vows, and to the reception - without a single hitch. Dream doesn't seem to stop smiling all day, and it's like he can hardly believe it when they cut the cake and have the first dance. Hob catches him pinching himself several times, which is just adorable.

And much, much later, when they finally tumble into bed to enjoy a sleepy, cozy wedding night... Hob sings Dream to sleep with "I do" by ABBA, and they start the rest of their lives together. Hob is determined to regain his record of 100% successful marriages, and he's not letting Dream go!!

[aves-ery]

CEO or Mob boss Wanda and stripper R👀 maybe she's just getting some visit to a certain club and she only have her for R but R is kind avoiding her. R is kind of snappy and feisty for Wanda but Wanda loved her more. One night she saw R entertaining other guests so she brought the whole club and kicked everyone out so she could have R all for herself.

Idk maybe you'd like to consider, btw you works are great and wonderful and so are you! Thanks!!!

one, thank you! two, this is ctually so bad bc I'm tired and for some reason forgot how to write good smut? but heres just wanda crazy for you.

pairing; CEO!wanda x stripper!reader

warnings; smut 18+ ONLY, infatuated wanda, praise!!, strap-on, fingering

if anyone saw wanda at a strip club, it'd be a field day for press. but quite honestly, she didnt care when she laid her eyes on you. she saw the flashes of the cameras when she walked in, but when she saw you in that lingerie, she didn't care what the articles were gonna read the next day.

wanda sat snug in a booth, watching you from afar. her silk button up was unbuttoned down to her upper stomach, her boobs only covered by her tight fitting sports-bra.

"i want that one," she pointed you out to all of her boss friends, a beer bottle still in hand. you were all over someone else, a lap dance she presumed.

one of the guys whistled you over, waving a "come here" motion. wanda knew it wasnt the way to get your attention, but you followed through, stalking over to them. you smiled, waving.

"hey gentlemen," you said seductively, plopping your pretty ass onto Tony's lap. wanda rolled her eyes.

"actually, as pretty as you are baby, this one wanted ya," tony pointed to wanda, and wanda waved her fingers.

"you just caught my eye, pretty," she said. you recognized the CEO immediately. you had to fight an eyeroll because no way in hell you were letting some snob like wanda touch you. you turned to the gruffy man whose lap you are on.

"i came over to see you," you avoided. the men around the table laughed, making fun of wanda. wanda just told them to all "shut the fuck up."

she tried to get your attention all night, buying you drinks, complimenting you, trying to just make you say hi. all she'd get in response is an eye roll and a "leave me alone."

"yo, get away from the girl she told you to stop," a bouncer said, pushing wanda away from you.

"look man, im not trying to cause a problem. she's just a pretty lady," wanda laughed, trying to use her charm to make him let her through.

"sorry, the girls not comfortable with you," the bouncer said again. wanda groaned, pulling out her wallet.

"c'mon ill even pay to just talk to her, man," wanda pulled out a few hundred dollar bills, and you rolled your eyes at the interaction. "i wont touch her, fucking promise. just wanna get to know the gal," wanda pleaded.

the bouncer looked at you, pointing at the money. wanda was at least holding 500 dollars in her hand currently. it was a silent agreement, and wanda was allowed into the private room

she handed a bill to the bouncer, then a few to you, before sitting in one of the booths. "you're a feisty one," she joked. you rolled your eyes.

"you can't buy me," she snapped. wanda nodded.

"im not trying to, babe. you're just... very intriguing," wanda said.

-

you had complained all of the next week, even after you didnt see wanda. you just didnt want her around, and didn't want her paying her way to you.

wanda found that out quickly, but she couldn't help it. you deserved to be worshiped with everything she could buy.

she sent you flowers, chocolates, everything to work. she didn't even know what days you worked, and she still sent them. Every time, you snacked on the chocolate and left the flowers in the trash. you didn't complain about that though. if she was going to spend money on you, she was going to laugh about it.

wanda came again two weeks later. she smiled and waved at you, but you continued flirting with a client. your hands on the man more than usual, making sure to get a rise out of her. you avoided her, but from close by. she'd call you over, and you'd give a lap dance to a guy near her.

wanda was fucking tired of it. that week, she bought the whole strip club. when you found out, you quit.

"no." wanda said.

"what?! you're fucking crazy. you're stalking me!" you screamed. wanda raised her eyebrows, standing up

"im not stalking you!" she screamed back at you

you laughed, "right. you're just fucking craz-" wanda kissed you. hard. you pushed her away, looking at her like she was actually insane, because she was, and then you kissed her back harder.

wanda grabbed your hips, picking you up and setting you on her desk. "you were just too pretty to leave alone. I'd buy the whole earth to be with you," she told you.

you thought she was joking, but she really wasn't. wanda was infatuated with you. when you looked her in the eyes, you could tell. you kissed her hard, allowing the woman you barely knew to have all of you.

"you're so pretty," wanda said, removing your sweater and kissing your breasts. you blushed, nodding.

"thank you," you whispered, moaning softly.

"you'll never have to work again, okay? and I'll win you over, i promise. I'll take you out on dates, I'll buy you dinner," wanda got on her knees sliding your shorts down, looking at you in the eyes. "I'll do anything, for you."

you blushed again, nodding, "win me over," you moaned. wanda nodded, sliding your panties over and taking you in.

"such a good girl," she praised, licking you fully. you shook softly, tangling your hands into wanda's hair. her lips found your clit, sucking softly.

you let out another breathy moan, and another as two digits pushed into you. your hand flew everything off the desk, and you lied back. wanda could deal with it later, you decided.

she was quick to make you cum, cleaning your thighs and kissing them both. she got rid of her pants, revealing a large red strap on. you looked at wanda with shaky arms and legs, smiling at her.

she didn't bother to take her button up off, only her pants and boxers, before shuffling towards you. "can i make you mine?" wanda asked, kissing your palms. you smiled up at her.

"yes," you said again, kissing her deeply. wanda smiled, lining her strap up with your cunt, before softly making her way into you.

the strap was the biggest you've taken, so you were grateful for wanda's soft nature. she looked at you, searching for any sign of discomfort. when she didn't find any, she started to go faster.

your hands found her back, gripping her shoulders and scratching down her back, "faster, wanda," you pleaded.

wanda nodded quickly, making sure to pick up the pace, "anything for you, doll," wanda kissed her thumb. she grabbed your boobs, kissing them both before kissing your lips. "you're so pretty like this," wanda said, kissing you again.

"thank you," you moaned. wanda's hand found your clit, rubbing softly until you came around her strap.

when you finished, she pulled out and washed you up with a washcloth. she then put you back into your shorts, and then her own hoodie.

"gonna get you back home and run you a bath, kay? dont gotta worry about anything ever again. I'll take care of you."

[beehunterkisser]

Have you watched the season 2 premieres of Hamster and Gretel?

I HAVE!!! Im assuming you want to know what i thought of em so spoiler warning for any dwampyheads who havent watched it yet. LOOK OUT!!!! also this is long as hell so be careful

Hakuna Ma Kevin

ok first and foremost. the ANIMATION WAS INCREDIBLE I WAS SO SHOCKED.. The budget mustve been crazy everything was so smooth. It really impressed me.. especially the action scenes and the hair movements. it was all super good

his va did a great job of being like annoyingly calm. its so kevin to somehow take a relaxation camp way too seriously (also the fact his life was so ruined by his date with hiromi flopping that he had to go on a 2 week retreat to find inner peace).

i was actually really interested in how they were gonna tackle that but a timeskip makes sense.

skip past kevins initial extreme misery and leave it up for the audience to make up. i am still curious as to what his friendgroup looks like because. did thjey stop hanging out. ARE hiromi and kevin too awkward to see eachother. anthony and fred are children of divorce. its so sad. well we'll see what happened eventually

It was great to see veronica hill back again too i missed my queen. i hope she finds love on the open sea.

actually speaking of that i was so sure that that was gonna be the boat from that sinking feeling and it was going to change the trajectory of the dwampyverse timeline forever but i think that was just a tease or a really really vague reference

the villain was also incredibly funny. great voicework too im sure it was some guest voice or something that i just dont recognize because it just feels that way to me.

great guy hope he comes back. and the reocurring THERE ARE NO LAWS ON INTERATIONAL WATERS BABY was actually funny.

also i cant not mention the CANON DWAMPYVERSE LESBIANS were BACK BABY women FIND EACHOTHER AT CLAM FEASTS ITS REAL AND TRUE.

it really made me happy to see that especially since i was so positive that we werent gonne get any rep from dwampyverse but obviously im WRONG and there are 2 beautiful women loving eachother and eating clams out there.

he played it so cool too. an ally.

I was almost disappointed the song was so early because i wanted a dramatic clam musical number but thats literally minimal complaint i have about that episode because it was such a strong opener.

also congrats to the newlyweds lunchlady and piano key vendor i think they will have a long lasting and beautiful relationship.

also when i saw those 2 old man leaving i was like wow are we getting a double whammy with gays but that was just a cameo. next time though

The Great American Telenovella

THE RETURN OF MY QUEEN. the opening in the hospital made me think it was gonna go in a completely different direction.

Both of these episodes had the songs super early on interestingly enough. i didnt even realise the Fresas De Amor theme song was THE song of the episode. i thought it was just a jingle..

i was really happy that we got a carolina-centered (well a stretch but she was there a lot) episode. i really like her.

the animation was back to normal in this episode too which was a little sad and maybe skewed my opinion of the episode a little bit but not TOO much. i think.

despite being tricked on where the episode was going the gimmick with making fun of telenovella tropes was really really fun.

it felt almost like a rarity investigates type thing where they get really into character trope LOL

the first lady they interrogated (THE VILLAIN IS THE VILLAIN!!) had such a great design too i really like her.. the whole bit with her abandoning the show to become a taco crunchies commercial star was great too she gagged me.

and also her being like ok ill just sit here and watch all my personal belongings burn. I giggled..i cant lie..i did giggle a little...

ok i cannot dance around it any longer but THE RETURN OF LA CEBOLLA. I REALLY DIDNT THINK ITD BE THIS EARLY I WAS SO HAPPY.

i saw her in the back as the lunchlady and i knew everything was going to be ok.. I was safe in her hands..

also her powers were used super clever i really enjoyed the Onion Fists. and also the dramatic shot of hamster getting concussed by an onion.

this kind of goes back to me being shocked the telenovella intro was the episodes song because i was really hoping we'd get another la cebolla number akin to fighting facial hair again

i also get another shot of her lying in a hospital bed. the one from her song is literally one of my favourite pictures ever so its great to have another equally as bizarre one

shes definitely maybe my FAVOURITE hng villain so it was great to see her again.

im biased so i wished she had gotten more time to shine but also i think that entire scene with hamster pretending to be her son la cebollito.

it was really funny karina did great with the line delivery there. i loved how she was like But why are you so small!??!?!?! i love that she runs on telenovella logic. a true method actor

i really did enjoy that episode but hakuna ma kevin really felt like the stronger episode to me maybe SOLEY because of the animation. im an artist im easily pleased. they cant just tease me with god tier animated hng and then rip it from my hands as soon as i get it. its ok...ill get over it..ill forget it soon... (single tear falls from my eye)

I HOPE THAT WAS READABLE i might do more of these for the rest of the episodes as they release its actually really fun. we;re so back. hng season 2 Is already peak. Its my favourite dwampy show for a reason. i am hng strongest warrior. WERE SO BACK

[namazunomegami]

emperor!sukuna x imperial concubine!reader

a/n: part 2 of my self-indulging mess. I had a lot of fun writing him and his drabble got finished way before I developed the whole plotline for Geto lol. I'll try to complete Gojo today or tomorrow and Toji is in the works yaaay!!

Also, I'm so surprised my Geto drabble got so many notes in such a short time!! I wouldn't expected people to be remotely interested in my writing but now I'm getting confident.

And finally, I can guarantee that this reader is gender neutral.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated <33

wc: 674, I know, I know, Geto got the princess treatment from me but sometimes less is more <333

cw: historical AU, scheming, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of sudden infant death syndrome, betrayal, accusations of abortion, execution, nudity, mentions of poisoning, suggestive

credits: i used a colored manga panel instead of a fanart but I have no idea who did the coloring so feel free to help me credit their work. And again, my precious @notveryrussian did the proofread, luv ya mwah <33

MDNI PLEASE! I'm gonna find you and kick you in the butt if you do. If you’re not comfortable with dark content or anything mentioned in the warnings just scroll, there's nothing wrong with that.

His mandate of heaven is very different from Gojo and Geto. Sukuna is a ruthless tyrant, he enjoys crushing any nation he deems either threatening or undeserving to even exist next to his borders. His palace is a snake pit, full of betrayal and backstabbing. Executions are frequent and he needs no valid reason to sentence someone to death, he enjoys the bloodshed and the sight of lifeless bodies. You can’t survive that place acting kind and humble. Sukuna specifically torments his concubines physically and mentally for the sheer enjoyment of it.

His court is probably the most competitive. You need to be as ruthless as he is, you need to become a schemer. One of his high-ranking consorts takes you under her wing. She lets you spend leisure time with her, and somehow, she ends up telling you way more sensitive information than she should. She once managed to give him a child, but the infant sadly died days after they were born. She complained about how hard that pregnancy was and that she’s afraid of going through it again, even though she’s attached to him. And not long after this conversation, she fell ill. Retching out everything she ate, her stomach burned and ached. She was so weak her cycle was two weeks late. She trusted you enough to have you fetch her a specific herbal tea to ease her pain and grant her some dreamless sleep.

And that’s the moment you decide you’ll use everything you know about her to cast her down and take her place.

You accuse her that she’s pregnant but wants to abort her baby. Your story is so intricately constructed from all the details you knew that his officials are on your side without hesitation. She watches you horrified, desperately telling him that nothing could be so far from the truth. Sukuna decides to believe in your words and orders for the consort to be executed. Finding pure joy in how she wails and begs for forgiveness. At the execution, he studies your face, every little detail and reaction and you were aware of that. It’s time to impress him. Your face is still, you don’t even flinch when her head is severed by the neck. The eunuchs come for you at night.

He loves and loathes this tradition at the same time. The servants want to protect him, so they deliver you stark naked to ensure you won’t carry any weapons. Fools, as if a weak and trembling creature like you could ever hurt him with a mere dagger or a sharpened hairpin. Yet it makes you look like an offering. A sacrificial lamb. Maybe because you are.

Some primal instinct tells you to balance your inner strength and innate fear of him. Pull back your shoulders, straighten your back, don’t even think to conceal your private parts. Let your fingers quiver and the sheer dread in your eyes seep through. He mocks you. Almost laughs at you while sitting comfortably on the intricately carved shelf bed, wearing a loose bright yellow robe, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. There’s no reason for him to not do this though, he’s a god, the son of heaven, therefore, everything about him is perfect.

The first thing he asks you is if you’re satisfied with your pathetic attempt to improve your position. You don’t dare to tell him that you feel the guilt rotting your insides. He confesses that he was poisoning her meals, he wanted to watch her wither away slowly and enjoy her suffering, but you ruined his plans. He might spare you, you’re a stupid little thing, you couldn’t have known. He warns you that you need to do so much more if you want to be on his good side. You need to be absolutely despicable to earn his praise. Though you feel content having reached your goal and getting to spend a night with him, somewhere deep down you hope you can leave his chamber in one piece or, at least, alive.

[isa-loves-you]

Telling People, You're a couple. | The Group Chat Head canons | Pt.1

I'm sorry this is late; I've been having too much fun fanaticizing instead of writing. I didn't include tanner since i included this in the last head canon.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac- It has been two weeks since you and Isaac have been together, you haven't really told anyone besides the boys in the house, but you wanted to take things, so you haven't told your fans.

One night you and some of the others decided to drink and stream an American truck simulator. You all were having a good time until Isaac became more tipsy than usual.

"Hold on, hold on, I need another sake. I'll be right quick, and tanner if you crash into me while I'm gone . I'll hide under your bed tonight.'' Isaac went to grab his drink and on his way back he passed your room where your door was cracked open.

You were laughing at yumi yelling at nick when you heard Isaacs knock at the bedroom door. "open the door or i'm gonna throw rocks in your window, you dumb whore" you laughed even harder . you made sure your camera was at a good level before telling him to come in so he didn't face reveal himself .

Isaac came and stood right next to your chair fiddling with his drink acting like he was gonna spill it on your keyboard. "Nah I won't do it, chat . I love them too much ""really because I don't love you" you said as a joke which he got surprisingly. "oh yeah?" Isaac then wrapped his arm around your throat acting as if he was going to choke you "chat ill do it, don't make me, i may love them but i'll do it." you couldn't help but laugh from his arm tickling your neck.

"Fine chat fine you brought this upon yourselves" Isaac let out a yell before reaching around your face and giving you a small kiss. Isaac than ran out of the room laughing like an evil villain. your chat went crazy with aww and asking if you're okay with what he did. "It's okay to chat, he's been doing it since we've started dating". you left your chat with that sentence and refused to retouch on the subject to make things funnier.

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Yumi- you have been staying at the group chats house for a month almost two, isaac and the rest were convincing you to just move into the house with them since you were  sorta a part of the group  and now that you're with yumi it makes sense to just move in. you decided that you would just fly home and to drive back to austin since you had stuff that you couldn't bring on a plane but not enough stuff to rent out a uhaul. You were only gone for a week so you could close out your lease with your landlord and pack things.

Even though you and yumi haven't dated for the longest and you were only gone for a week he still misses you, you were a part of his routine and now he doesn't know what to do with his days. He stuck with streaming to take up his time but he eventually would lose track of time and not notice that a week has already passed. 

You were so happy to see Blake again. You had to pull over twice while on the way out due to your foot bouncing on the pedal from excitement and not wanting to crash. As soon as you got into the driveway you jumped out of the car and ran into the house “Hi y/n '' tanner turned around in the bean bag chair. You just ran up the stairs not even paying attention to what he was doing “Hi tanner” you said almost already at yumies door. 

You had pressed your ear against the door to hear what yumi was doing. It sounded like he was watching car crashes on stream so you made sure to be quiet when you opened the door so you could scare him. You open the door lightly and as soon as your head comes into frame on the camera you put a finger to your lips to signal to his chat not to say anything. You got close enough to him without him noticing you until you wrapped your arms around his top half  “MISSED ME?!” you said out loud as he finally stopped screaming. “Fuck i though i was dead but yeah im happy your back” you said with a boom in his voice as he hugged you back, he was hugging you thight so you knew he was telling you the truth. 

“Here chat this is my i don't even know” Blake said has he used you towards the camera “partner?” you looked back at him to see if he approved “yeah sounds right”. For the rest of the stream, you and Yumi answered questions that his fans had about you and him and watched whatever YouTube had recommended.

[lizzieislife94x]

Long Distance (e.o)

Requested ❤️

Lizzie x Fem Reader

GirlxGirl 

Y/ns POV:

I wash up my plate as I watch my phone like an excited child its 6:30pm meaning my girlfriend will be calling any minute its 10pm where she is at the moment on location, I dry my dish as I wait for the call after 5 minutes my phone rings with the facetime call. 

Me: babyyy I've missed you so much.

Lizzie: I've missed you too, how was your day today baby. 

Me: it was great work was chill I hung out with one of my new co workers Jane she's awesome.

I say with a smile as I look at lizzie her smile doesn't seem proper maybe I'm over thinking 

Lizzie: that's good did you eat.

Me: yeah I just had dinner just finished 15 minutes ago, how is work going liz.

Lizzie: ugh good yeah just really tired I wish I was with you though. 

Me: yeah me too me too.

After an hour on the phone we hang up and I have a huge smile on my face lizzie said she's coming to visit next week she has 2 weeks off and I couldn't be more excited about it I decided to go for a shower then bed and fall asleep with a huge smile on my face.

 4 days later:

"So you have any plans for this weekend y/n" I look up from my food and smile sweetly "actually I don't do you wanna do something" I ask Jane as she grins "yessss lets go dancing and let loose" she says excitedly as I giggle "ok so tomorrow night I'll meet you at the club?" I say and nods "yes definitely " we continue to eat our lunch as my phone rings I look and notice lizzies name causing me to smile "Jane ill be right back I have to take this my girlfriend is calling" I stand up and walk away to answer.

Me: Hey baby is everything ok 

Lizzie: yeah I just missed your voice babygirl how is work. 

Me: yeah we're on lunch just now I'm going to the club tomorrow night with JaneAll I hear is silence for bit

Me: lizzie are you there liz baby

Lizzie: yeah sorry I'm here thats great as long as you have fun princess 

Me: oh you no I will but hey I can't wait to see you on Monday I'm counting down the hours

Lizzie: me to princess I can't wait to just chill with you go out and most importantly have you in my arms. 

Me: oh god me to baby I can't wait shit hey baby I gotta go I gotta get back to work ill text you later have fun filming. 

With that I quickly hang up and rush back up to the office and get back towork after a few hours it's home time I quickly head home and throw myself on the couch oh jeez its been a long day I decided to just have grilled cheese for dinner I can't be bothered cooking once I eat I head up to my room and throw myself onto the bed and open tik tok must have fell asleep though because I'm being woke up to the sound of my alarm I roll over and groan getting up to shower and brush my teeth I get dressed for work and head to my car. 

Me: Good morning baby I hope you have a great day still counting the hours down till your here but I'm heading to work so I'll text you again later

I put my phone down and drive to work as I pull up my phone beeps causing me to smile when I see her name on my phone 

 Lizzie♥️: Good morning princess I hope you have a great day at work and don't get to drunk tonight ill text you later beautiful 

I smile and walk into the building to get my work done at lunch Jane comes running over to me "dude you still on for tonight" she says excited "yeah of course haha I'm looking forward to it ill meet you at the club at 8" she jumps up and down a little making me laugh.

after a long day its finally time to head home I need to go and pick an outfit. 

2 hours later: 

I finish putting the last touches to my make up and admire myself in the mirror I do look pretty hot if I do say so myself I went with tight black dress and black heels decided light make up and curly hair I grab my phone and take a full body picture and decide to send it to lizzie. 

Me:*1 image attached* baby do I look ok

Not even a minute later my phone dings

Lizzie: Wow wow wow you look fucking sexy baby not gonna lie I'm hella jealous right now if anyone looks at you a little to long punch them in the face for me babygirl😳

I giggle at her text blushing slightly

Me: Baby no one's going to look at me and even if they did let them I have the best girlfriend in the world I don't need nor want anyone else but you your eyes and your staring are the only ones that matter to me 

I spray some perfume and head out getting into my car and driving towards the club after 20 minutes I arrive right on time I park up and head to the front of club and see Jane "wow you look amazing" she says as we hug and head inside. 

4 hours later:

"Oh my gosh that was so fun I yell to Jane" she nods and agrees we head outside and I call an uber "I haven't been out in a while and I had so much fun thank you Jane" she looks at me and smiles "same thanks for coming with me" we part ways heading into our own ubers after 20 minutes and a stop to Mcdonalds I'm home I decided to drunken facetime my girlfriend while I munched my Mcdonalds we spend roughly 2 hours on facetime before I passed out 

 Time skip to Monday

Work was boring today maybe its because lizzie gets here in the next hour and I'm counting down I get to finish in 10 minutes so I can pick her up once I finish I practically run to my car and head towards the airport my excitement rushing through my veins after 15 minutes I arrived at the airport I get out and stand against my car patiently waiting after a few minutes I spot her walking towards me with a huge smile I jump up and down and run towards her screaming with excitement as I jump into her arms she catches me and we both squeal in joy holding eachother tight "I missed you so fucking much" i mumble into her neck as she holds me tighter "I missed you to princess" we stood holding eachother for 10 minutes before I took her bag and put it in the trunk then opened her door for her "thank you baby" she smiles fuck I've missed her smile so much Irun to my side and start to drive to my house her hand automatically rests on my thigh making my thoughts run wild I haven't seen her in 6 months so its been 6 months of no action I pull into my drive and get out running round to open her door "there you go baby" she giggles and smiles as we walk inside she plops down on the couch and I follow instantly cuddling upto her "fuck I've missed you" I mumble but loud enough for her to hear"I've missed you too beautiful" she says as she plays with my hair I Bury my face in her chest and bask in the feeling of being in her arms and her playing with my hair I let out a content sigh this is perfect.

AN: ok this is gonna be a 2 parter I didn't think it would be this long but this part is basically just leading up to them being together again part 2 will have the action if it sucks I'm sorry lmao hope your all good and stay hydrated people I feel like I've not wrote in months

[ell-alexanderarnold]

can you please do a fluff of a day in the life of dad!trent taking care of his toddler daughter etc playing with her, taking her to training while y/n is away, dealing with her tantrums :) love your work!

My Little Love

Warnings: Pregnancy

dad!Trent, Fluff

Note: Had fun writing this, pure fluff :) + added a little twist at the end, Hope y’all enjoy it 💕

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A year ago your and Trent’s life changed forever.

It was a normal day, you were working from home due to the illness you’ve felt the entire week. You thought it was just a cold at first but when pregnancy came to mind, you opened goggle and scrolled and read things for hours. All the usual symptoms were exactly the ones you were feeling such as nausea, missed periods and morning sickness.

You were scared to tell Trent at first, you didn’t know how he would react. If he’d be angry, sad, happy, all your thoughts were going through your head.

But you had to find out right? So the day after you were going to head to the pharmacy to buy a test. As protective and caring as Trent is, he asked you where you were going and the anxiety of telling the truth hit you.

“Where are you going babe?” Trent asked and looked up from his phone.

“Oh I’m just heading to the pharmacy, need a couple of things” You lied straight to his face, hands fidgeting.

“I’m sure we have everything at home, what is it that you’re needing?” He inquired whilst you stood by the door, wanting to escape.

“Just some painkillers” You lied once again.

Trent shook his head and got up from the sofa, approaching you with his eyes that were imploring an answer. The right answer, not some kind of lie.

“Y/n what’s going on?” Trent expressed and took your hands and kissed them whilst his eyes were on your worried eyes.

You smiled at him, a weak smile and he noticed that was the smile you only gave him when something was wrong. And you know the more you try to hide it, the more anxious you’ll get and Trent will be more concerned so you decided to tell him.

“You know I’ve been ill for a few days right? And umm.. I think it’s pregnancy symptoms, so I figured I’ll buy a test you know, just to check” You revealed and your ears were eager to hear him say something about it. You were waiting for ages, but you didn’t hear anything, you only received a big wide smile from your lover in front of you.

“It’s okay Y/n, I’ll wait for you when you come back” He smiled and your anxiety was gone from your chest and you smiled back at him, leaving to buy the test that would decide your entire future.

….

Ever since that day, every day since your and Trent’s daughter came into your lives, you’ve been happier than ever. She made your whole life change and you’ve never been more in love with Trent.

Of course it’s been though sometimes but it’s been beautiful as well, you’ve seen Trent turn from a young teenager to a grown dad who’s now taking care of your daughter. You could never ask for a better dad to your child.

But there is one thing he needs to work at. He’s been with her and taken care of her but not when you’re not there. Trent is scared for something to happen when you’re not around and today you have a really important meeting that you need to attend to. You thought that this is the perfect opportunity for him to learn to be with her when you’re not there.

“Hey Trent! Come down” You shouted from downstairs and almost ready to leave. You thought it was better to be ready to leave instead of having to sit with a complaining Trent not wanting to be alone with his daughter and just get it over with.

You heard Trent walking down the stairs, his face lit up when he saw Novalie playing with you.

“I have a task for you today T” You said as you got up from the floor and Trent went over to sit down next to Novalie.

“I have to be at work for a few hours and-“

He cut you off.

“You know I can’t-“

“Shush I’m talking” You grumbled and sighed.

“I know you don’t like it but you have to, what will happen if I have to be away for a few days for example?” You said as you looked at him with your arms crossed.

“I don’t even want to think about that” Trent chuckled and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Don’t call me unless it’s an emergency and emergency means something serious, don’t call if she’s crying” You asserted and began to take on your shoes and Trent picked up Novalie in his arms.

“Y/n I don’t think I can do it” Trent sighed and you looked at him in awe. He was so cute, you didn’t want to leave him but you knew he could do anything so you gave him a peck on his cheek before opening the door.

“If you can win all seven trophies at twenty three than I think you’ll be able to take care of your daughter for a few hours” You teased and he was not happy with that comment but he couldn’t be mad at you.

“Wave goodbye to mommy” Trent cooed and gently waved Novalie’s hand at you.

The minute you stepped out of the house you wanted to go back in and cuddle them both, but that was not possible so you could only wait until you come home to kiss and hug Trent and Novalie.

Trent POV

The minute Y/n stepped out of the door he missed her immediately. Her presence to him was soothing and comforting, he can always be himself around her and not worry about anything in his life. But now when she’s not in his presence, he feels uneasy. But he also has his little princess who can light up his day even if Y/n isn’t around.

Trent sat on the floor with Novalie playing with her stuffed animals, he smiled and realised how lucky he is and how much he loved her. He has the most beautiful girlfriend in the world with the most adorable daughter ever, could he ask for more?

Trent looked at the clock and saw that it was almost time to get ready for training, another challenge to him. He has only brought Novalie to the training ground a few times before but Y/n was with him. Now he’s got to do it all alone but he figured he could get some help from his teammates.

He first picked up Novalie from the floor then made his way to her room to get her changed. Y/n knew Trent wasn’t the best to dress her, so she had already prepared an outfit that laid on the nursing table. Trent was relieved by that and after he put on her clothes, he kissed her forehead.

“My little angel” He whispered and smiled at her then went downstairs to leave for training. He put on her tiny shoes and walked out the door to the car and sat her down in her baby car seat.

Novalie loved sleeping in the car, especially when Trent put on Adele. Even if she couldn’t talk properly yet, she still sang along to some songs and it made Trent’s heart melt.

Trent arrived at the training ground, Novalie was still sleeping and Trent knew what was going to happen. She usually starts crying when she wakes up, she’s just like her daddy, loves sleeping and doesn’t like to be woken up.

“Here we go” Trent huffed and gently picked her up from her seat, she slowly started to move and the frustration began.

He got out from the car and opened the car boot and took out the pram. He laid her down but she started crying. Trent tried to fight the urge not to call Y/n and say that “she’s crying what am I gonna do”. But instead of calling Y/n, he sent her a message.

Trent: N is crying and I have to go inside the training ground

You: Trent I’m busy but try holding her for a minute or so

Trent: Thanks that helps a lot

You: 😒

Trent did what his heart told him to do. He picked Novalie up from the pram, she was crying and it felt like she was never going to stop. But Trent held her close to him and hummed

“My little love, I see your eyes widened like an ocean, when you look at me so full of my emotions”

He stroke her head softly and heard how she immediately stopped crying, and Trent found himself laughing at it because he thought how proud Y/n is going to be.

He kept her close to himself as he entered the training ground and walked up to the first team dining room, he also brought Novalie’s nursing bottle and sat down and fed her.

“What am I witnessing!” A loud happy voice echoed, Trent looked up to see it was his fullback friend, Robbo. Trent chuckled and Robbo sat down opposite him.

“She’s getting older I see” Robbo said and looked at Novalie.

“Yeah, time flies” Trent answered and smiled at Robbo then Hendo entered the conversation.

“Thought you weren’t capable of having here here alone” Hendo joked and Robbo tried not to get in trouble by laughing out loud.

“Haha very funny mate” Trent mumbled and a small grin appeared on his face whist meeting his teammates eyes.

“Jokes aside, is Y/n away or?” Hendo continued.

“She’s busy with work today otherwise I wouldn’t brought the kiddo” Trent explained and Novalie grabbed Trent’s finger as a sign that she was awake and wanted to play.

“You guys can look after her right while I’m getting ready for the training session right?” Trent asked his teammates and without a response he handed Robbo the nursing bottle and got up from the chair and Hendo received Novalie in his arms.

—

Trent couldn’t wait to get home, he had so much to tell you about his day. He wanted to see how much your face would lighten up when he’s going to tell you everything that he accomplished in one day as a father.

He looked over at Novalie who was again sleeping in the car on their way home. She was tired after a long day at daddy’s work and all the playing with Robbo.

When he had drove the final turn of the car journey his excitement and the wait to hug you grew stronger, and finally he parked outside the house and woke Novalie up. She didn’t cry this time, Trent’s technique worked but basically it was yours, but he liked to say it was his.

The lights were on as he entered the house, and his eyes scanned the room for you but he didn’t find you. He held Novalie in his arms as he walked up the stairs, entering your shared bedroom to find you sleeping.

“She’s just like you” Trent whispered and pointed his finger at you to show Novalie. He looked at you in awe and thought about how cute you are when you’re sleeping. He sat down by the bed beside you, tucking one strand of hair behind your ear and whispered your name.

You slowly started to wake up, when you came home from work you were tired apparently so tired that you dozed off. You opened your eyes to see a smiling Trent that sat beside you with your daughter on his lap. You just woke up and it felt like you were still half asleep, but the smile on you face was wide enough to wake you up properly.

You sat up and took Novalie from Trent’s embrace and hugged her.

“My little Novie, I’ve missed you” You cooed and Novalie seemed to have missed you too as she grabbed your finger with her tiny hand.

“Hi baby” You smiled at Trent who just sat there and admired you both. You moved closer to him and kissed his cheek then his plumped heart shaped lips. He smiled against your lips and your heart melted, you could feel his happiness.

“How did it go today?” You said and pulled away from him.

“Okay first of all, I have won the competition of who can stop her from crying when she’s waking up” He beamed.

“Is that so?” You said as you raised your eyebrows.

“Yep, all you have to do is, oh wait I can’t give away my secret” He chuckled and you slapped him lightly on his arm for him to tell you.

“Tell me please I’ve tried everything, I’m the one who need it the most!” You complained and gave him the look that would make him tell you.

“I did what you told me to do” Trent explained.

“And what did I tell you?”

“You really have a bad memory huh?” Trent teased and laughed.

“You told me to hold her for a minute and I did, just added a little Adele to it” Trent revealed and you weren’t surprised when you heard that he sang Adele to her, you’ve heard it before when he’s been putting Novalie to bed.

”Then I’ll have to try it next time” You noted and Trent got up from the bed making his way downstairs, before you stopped him.

“Hey, I’m proud of you” You called and walked up to him, his eyes fell on yours and your lips met.

“I love you, you should know that you’re such a great dad and I’m lucky to have you by my side Trent” You whispered and stroke his hair as he lifted up his head from your shoulder, his attention turned to something else.

He poked on your shoulder for you to witness what he was seeing. Novalie stood up for the first time, and you and Trent couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Are you seeing what I am seeing” You gasped and sat down, reaching out your hands for Novalie to walk into your embrace.

“Good girl! Oh my gosh Trent did you see that!?” You beamed and picked up Novalie and hugged her as you went up to Trent that had the widest smile on his face.

“Yes! I can finally play footy with her now” Trent proclaimed and you giggled, happier than ever with your little family.

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Thank you for reading🧸💕

[farfromstrange]

A small update from yours truly—and a little over sharing, so I’m putting it under the cut.

I've been in an awful mindset these past couple of weeks since I was diagnosed with PCOS. I haven’t talked about it yet because it’s hard for me to even think about. But the fatigue and the pain are getting worse again, even with the supplements I’m taking so far, and I wanted to share it with you so you know what’s going on. My doctor referred me to another doctor, but the earliest they could get me in was January. Until then, I have to deal with the symptoms on my own. I honestly thought once I knew what was wrong I’d get better, but learning that chronic illness is actually chronic is a really hard pill to swallow. It’s manageable once you figure shit out, but getting a doctor’s appointment these days and being taken seriously when you can’t stomach birth control is like the Hunger Games. You have to be really fucking insistent when you want to get things done.

I’m still slowly working my way out of my writer’s block, and I'm proud of myself for getting there. I'm trying not to set expectations for myself and just take it one day at a time, which is working so far. I think I’m writing more consciously now, too. As someone who needs to create because she has too many thoughts it can get frustrating to burn out so quickly, but at least I’m starting to have fun with writing again (thanks to the DDBA trailer I’m still not over and it’s been idk how long you guys feel me).

On a slightly better note though, and the reason I’m writing this is that I’ve been spending the past two weeks since my last post preparing for vacation. I’m flying to Croatia on Sunday for a few days, which I very much need after the year I’ve had so far. I’m taking the time to recharge before I have another module exam at the end of September. So, I probably won’t be posting a lot the next two weeks, BUT I am writing. I just don’t have enough time to edit anything to the point I can comfortably post it. I will, however, use the time I have to catch up on some reading and do some reblogging. It’s a good use of my flight time, plus my parents will be driving back so I’ll have twelve hours to kill in the car. And who knows, maybe I can finish at least one update before I have to head to the airport. Just wanted to let you know that I’m not gone again, I just really need that vacation before I have my last exam this semester. After that, I have almost three weeks of nothing, which means I'll be able to focus on myself, my health, and my writing.

I’m also writing this to tell you guys I will definitely be participating in Kinktober again this year, though I decided to put a little twist to it. Last year was fun, but I want to do it a little differently this time. I’m currently working something out, and the announcement will come sometime in the next couple of weeks!

Maybe a different climate will give me some more writing inspiration, too. Thank you guys for reading this far. Take care of yourselves 🤍

[sissytobitch10seconds]

As It Was

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Lila's in too much emotional distress to be any good on this mission, so Five has gone to the next best person. Who else would he take with him on a mission where he could get stranded than the man that has always kept him grounded in reality? Thankfully this time Viktor doesn't have much to loose. Warnings: Isolation, mentions of stomach-related illnesses, injuries, medical malpractice, and trans characters being forced to de-transition due to lack of healthcare Word Count: 8,088 Ship(s): Five Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

Archive link!

A/N: I don't care if you didn't like Season 4. I did, I loved a lot of it and think that the people who didn't like it are being too loud and making fandom not fun anymore. If you didn't like it, you're still welcome to read this fic but I do. not. want. to. hear. about. it. I will block you. This is simply a fiktor reimagining of the Subway plotline because I have done a lot of fiktor reimaginings for other events in this show. That being said, I hope that you can enjoy this! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

When Five approached Lila with the proposition, her initial reaction was to immediately agree to go with him. She knew that the world was ending, it was something that always happened when all the Hargreeves were back together. She had been partially to blame for causing it the second time, when Viktor had been kidnapped and then blown up the FBI building in a torture-and-LSD infused rage. She had pushed for it in the first timeline too, by coaching certain people to make mistakes when it came to correcting the timeline. An event that big being mishandled would have gotten her mother a promotion, and she was taught her entire life that was a good thing. She knew that with the Hargreeves, there was an apocalypse to be solved. She had been itching for one since the twins were born and she was doomed to another two agonizing years o the kids being so little that they needed her at the home all the time. She wanted to have a crisis to solve, she wanted it so badly that she could feel it in her teeth.

She also knew that she couldn’t handle it. Not only had she aged what felt like an entire lifetime in the half a decade that they had spent in the new universe, but she’d given birth to three kids. She still had the mind of a trained assassin that would be able to deduce what was going on in a scene within minutes of arriving and talking to a couple of people, but she wasn’t sure that her body would be able to keep up with that big of a fight. She also knew that her children were depending on her and she wanted to be the mother that she’d never actually gotten to experience. The twins had toddler gymnastics and Grace had ballet, like they did every single week since they were two years younger. Grace had told her that she loved spending time with her mom after they had dropped the twins off and it was just the two of them in the car, and the thought of letting her daughter down like that ate her from the inside out.

“I have to get back to my family,” Lila said.

“I thought that I was part of your family,” Five huffed, a bit indignantly.

“Why do you want to save the world so badly this time, anyway? When the end of everything was staring you in the face and we had been offered a way to fix it all you kept spouting on and on about how another version of you had told you not to save the world,” Lila retorted. It was so much easier to bring it back to Five and his issues instead of admitting that even though she was bored out of her mind being a housewife, she wouldn’t trade being a mother for a single thing in the entire world or any timeline.

“I finally know what it’s like to live a life! The rest of you got the chance to do that when you were dumped into the sixties, well, not you specifically,” he waved his hand at her dismissively. He ran a hand through his long hair, which she sincerely hoped that he was going to get cut again when he was finished snooping around in the Keepers meetings that she was infiltrating to keep herself busy. “Look, I jumped forward to an apocalyptic wasteland when I was thirteen. I had to make my own way for the next forty-five years, which meant that every moment was spent working to keep myself alive instead of having the normal human experiences. Then I spent a grueling month fighting to stop apocalypses, or let them happen in the case of the Kugelblitz. I never got the chance to know what it was like to be an adult growing up in the world or a human interacting with and meeting new humans without being a member of an Academy. I just got a taste of that these last few years and I want to experience that longer. So I need your help.”

“Why my help specifically?” she asked, raising a brow at him. While it was true that she had kind of forced him down into the time-travel railway before, but that was before she had been reminded of the things that she had to do today. She also remembered the whole ordeal that he had gone through when it came to time traveling without the Commission and briefcase backing him up. She couldn't get lost for any amount of time, not when it might cause her children to start forgetting what type of perfume she used or the way that she laughed. That was what had happened to her with her own parents, she knee the pain that someone went through when they had to face that.

“Because you know how to do missions with exceedingly high levels of efficiency. We may never have worked together, but I did see your name on the leaderboard for most missions done in a day. You were just underneath me,” Five replied.

“Is that a compliment?” Lila asked, waggling her eyebrows at him. She turned around just in time to see Diego and Luther start arguing about something they likely agreed on. She watched the way that Diego’s hands made chopping motions in the air and then how he cupped the head of the stuffed reindeer that he had under his arm. He loved their children so much, he never let them see a sour face despite how much he hated the dead-end, abusive job that he had taken so that he could support them. She loved that man, even if they needed a second apart from each other so that they could figure out the whole mess that their marriage had become.

“It’s the closest thing that you’re going to get from me. That and the admission that you appear to make Diego actually happy,” Five said as he turned in the same direction that she had.

She looked back to him and then stared at her husband. She was a bit worried that she was going to be too intense with that look and accidentally turn on the laser-eyes that she apparently had. She really needed to figure out why she was doing that and how to control it. The last thing she wanted to happen was to cut a person in half when she didn’t want to. “Do you think so?”

Five tilted his head from side to side as he contemplated what he was going to say next. “Well, you don’t really make him happy any longer.”

Lila felt that burning shame in her belly grow even stronger than it had before. She felt it creep up her cheeks and neck so that they were flushed bright red as she put her hands on her hips. “What is that supposed to mean, you little creep?”

“It means that I can see the bullshit he’s putting up with and how miserable he is. You were frustrated with your extended family and the domestic life that was forced upon you, so you decided to have ‘book club’. He doesn’t have anything like that. He goes to work at a job that he hates, that doesn’t respect him and that’s incredibly repetitive. He then comes home to a wife that doesn’t give a shit about him to take care of three kids under the age of ten to give you a break since you did mothering all day and have to get out of the house,” Five replied.

“So?” she asked as she folded her arms over her chest. She could see where he was going with this and she understood what he meant, but she wanted to push him further so that she could deny it a little bit longer. It was so much easier to pretend that she and Diego were absolutely fine that to face the reality that their marriage was falling apart.

“So, he’s bored and boxed into a life that he never wanted. Did you know that he and Viktor had a punk band before Dad sent him to Europe to go to music school? He ditched it and the band broke up because he loved missions so much. The change from being respected, to some extent, and able to help people to only ever being loved by his children has to be difficult,” Five commented. “Perhaps you should have talked to Diego about the high-adrenaline enrichment that you were doing for yourself before you decided that he wasn’t worth it.”

“I love Diego too!” Lila scoffed indignantly. Her husband was the light of her life, he had drawn out a part of her that she had never known existed and then stood steadily by her side as it flourished and flowered.

“You don’t show it. Telling him that you want to take a break because all he does is complain instead of listening to those complaints and assuring him that you don’t hate the way that his body is changing or helping him to fulfill his own needs is not love,” Five informed her.

She knew that she was right, those words struck through her faster than the bullets her mother had pumped into her body when she had turned into more trouble that she was worth. Still, it hurt just as much and she quickly became defensive of her actions. “What would you know about marriage and love?”

Five’s eyes sparked with a kind of fire that she had never seen before. He leaned forward as he spoke to her with a seething hatred. “More than you ever will, Lila. Now I’m going to go find someone else to help me stop this goddamn apocalypse while you reconcile with the husband you allegedly love.”

---

As Five turned on his heel and walked away from Lila, his heart ached. He saw himself in her more than he would ever admit and yet after all this time, she was still so hostile towards him. They both knew isolation, him through the apocalypse and her through being the only child to grow up at the Commission Headquarters. They both knew what it was to work as an assassin that had to choose the life of a couple of the lives of the many. They knew each other inside and out, and yet that similarity had only served to drive them further and further away from each other as time went on.

Five had let himself drift away from his family again. He had romanticized them in his head when he had been fighting so hard to get back to them and out of the Commission. He had forgotten how awful it was to be around Luther and Diego when all they were doing was bickering with each other, how moral-detonating Klaus’ most recent relapse for them could be, the sickening way that Allison thought she was better than all of them even though she no longer had a superpower that allowed her to get whatever she wanted simply by asking for it. Viktor was the only person that was the exact person he remembered in his mind, likely because they had spent the most amount of time together.

Over the last five years in the new universe, he had seen some changes in his brother. Viktor’s body had changed, with his voice deepening and his muscle redistributing itself with the changes in his hormonal balances. His face was more angular and beginning to grow the shadow of a beard as well, especially since they had been working too hard for either of them to find a moment where they could step aside and shave. He had changed quite a lot as a person, too. He was still sweet, caring, and shy as he had been when they were children. However, the amount of shyness that came out of him had been crumbled down into a tenth of what it had been when Five was still living with the rest of the Umbrellas. He was able to stick up for himself against their father, and was quick to defend himself when someone said something unfair.

Five liked the new version of his brother, enough so that it was reigniting feelings that he thought he had long since put away. He had Delores when he was in the apocalypse, but he also had Viktor’s voice ringing through his head in the form of the book that he carried around with him as a reminder about why he had to go home. Those things had kept him alive, and then he had been allowed to find meaning and purpose on his own. Those things were being threatened right now, and that scared the absolute shit out of him.

He hadn’t been that scared in a long time, not since he was a child that barely knew anything outside of missions and the two walls of his home. He knew that he had to do something about it, so he spotted Viktor standing near Allison and Luther and then immediately rushed towards him. He placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder to get his attention and then jerked his head in another direction to show what he wanted.

Viktor peeled away from the siblings that he had since grown closer to, walking a few feet away with Five. “What’s going on, are you okay?” Viktor asked.

“Not really, but I’m surprised that you were able to tell that,” Five huffed. He bit the insides of his cheeks as he realized just how sour and bitter it sounded while coming out of his mouth. He had meant to be saying something that would subtly manipulate Viktor into coming with him because he was the only other person in all of the universes and timelines that Five could imagine going on a dangerous trip with. If he hadn’t gotten antsy all those years ago and blurted it out during breakfast only to have to make a point for his thirteen-year-old pride, he would have taken Viktor with him the first time too.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Viktor asked, reeling back with an indignant expression on his face. Five didn’t fault him, what he had said was objectively rude.

“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Allison since this entire endeavor went down. I’m just surprised that you were able to notice a change in my behavior due to that,” he replied as he tried to get the topic back to where he had wanted it to be originally. “I’m glad that you noticed, Viktor, I really am.”

“I’ve been spending a lot of time with Allison because I think that she feels guilty for the way that she treated me in the other timeline. She’s been hanging around me like a bad smell and I’m kind of okay with it. It’s nice to be the person that has to do no work in the relationship, you know?” Viktor shrugged.

As Five looked at him, he saw the twelve-year-old that had sat beside him one day after a mission, bawling his eyes out. He had baked a cake with their mother that day as a special surprise for them, a desperate plea for his family to pay any attention to him so that he didn’t have to be so alone. When the siblings had found out that he was the one that had done the baking, they had all eaten a lot slower and more cautiously, like they were expecting him to somehow have poisoned them. Of course it would be more appealing to Viktor for his siblings to reach out to him when it had been the other way around for his entire life. It was simply another piece of the confidence that he had gained post-medication and coming out.

“I’m glad that she’s the one reaching out. What she did to you was borderline feral and not okay on several levels. I wouldn’t give her as much slack if I didn’t know how hard it was to be a person out of time when you belong to a minority,” Five said. “That being said, I would like to ask you to do just that with me.”

“What do you mean?” Viktor immediately responded. His head snapped towards Five and his dark eyes bore into the other man’s mind, as if trying to read his thoughts from a simple glance. 

It was a startling thing that Five had asked, he knew that for certain. It was frightening enough to be a queer woman back in the sixties, but it was another thing entirely to be a transgender man in any other time (and sometimes including) their own present. “I want to fix the apocalypse. I want to go back and stop the one thing that got us all into this mess so that we can come out the other side alright,” he said.

“Do we even know what’s causing the end of the world this time? Other than Ben and Jennifer, I mean,” Viktor said. The whole explanation that they had gotten from Abigail and Reginald concerning the end of the world had made very little sense to them this time around. Five was sure that they would end up figuring it out, but it wasn’t much to go off of for what he was asking.

“I was thinking that if we go back in time and either reset the universe, if we can find that place again, or stop Ben and Jennifer from touching each other in the van, then we can figure out how to stop The Cleanse from coming,” Five said. 

“I don’t know, Five, it sounds kind of weak. The last time that we went back in time it also didn’t end well,” Viktor shuffled awkwardly. “Are you sure that this is worth all the hassle?”

“Like I just explained to Lila, I want to fight for this life I have. It’s not everything that I had dreamed it was going to be, but it’s still something. I want to be able to have the chance to grow up in a world with other people, where I can have a job to sustain myself instead of having to dig through cans of exploded food and prey that my next meal doesn’t give me botulism,” Five said. He hadn’t realized how desperate he was for all of those things until they were spilling from him with no stop in sight. By the time that he had finished, his chest was having and his mind felt feral.

Viktor reached out and placed his hands on Five’s shoulders, enough to snap his brain out of the haze of memories that were pouring back in. It was so hard to be sick on his own, to be vomiting and not knowing if he was going to be able to find clean water in time to replace the water he had lost, or aching from an infection and hoping against all hope that the penicillin he had made himself would cure him. He had so much terror inside of him, for so long, that it was addicting to live in a world where he could finally be calm and sheltered from the horrors.

“Five, I don’t know if this is going to work. I don’t want you messing around with time and us getting sent somewhere worse. Dad has an idea for how we can get Jennifer and Ben back to him. Maybe Abigail will come up with an idea to extract the durango and shoot it into space or something,” Viktor said.

“What if we could save Ben in another timeline? Stop him from dying?” Five asked. It was kind of stupid, but he had seen the way that their choices butterflied into the future for their family. Clearly, Ben and Jennifer were linked. Viktor had informed him of the memories that Allison and Luther had recovered from that last meeting. If their father had killed Ben before he had even touched Jennifer, then there was a chance that something more was going on that the old man was leading them to believe.

“Wha-what?” Viktor asked. “I thought that Dad just killed him because he was an asshole.”

“Dad was a total dickhead, but that was because he had no regard for other people’s emotions and thoughts outside of his plan. He used our feelings to manipulate us, which was why he brainwashed our siblings on what happened on that mission. He wouldn’t have killed one of us when he needed seven to reset the universe. Even if he knew about Lila or the Sparrows or Phoenixes or whatever, there was very little chance that he would have been able to get them,” Five explained.

He could see the cogs whirring in Viktor’s head as he considered the proposition that Five was laying out for him. The three of them had bee thick as thieves, the people at the end of Reginald’s ranking and the ones that were most prone to studying. Five was certain that after he left, Ben had picked up the slack and chosen to continue to stick by Viktor’s side until Klaus became the one that needed deliberate and constant saving.

Viktor’s lips pursed as he sunk his hands down into his pocket. He turned out towards the fake little town that Reginald had made to hide Jennifer. They had thought that returning there may have helped them find some more clues, but it seemed as though the rest of the agents that they hadn’t managed to kill had come and cleaned everything up in their wake. The town was nothing but peeling paint signs and boarded up windows, waiting for the next purpose that the owner would happen to bestow upon it.

“Okay. Let’s do it,” Viktor nodded. He spoke with his hands despite the fact that they were in his pockets, which was one of the cutest things that Five had ever seen in his entire life. “Ben saved me, when we were in Dallas. He was able to come into my mind and get me to remember my memories so that my powers stopped freaking out and trying to kill everything that they saw as a threat. I think that he deserves a chance to live too, it’s the least that I can do to repay him.”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say that you were in love with him,” Five joked. It hurt to think about, that the person he had longed after for years, so much that his heart hurt with the effort of it all, had fallen in love with the friend that he had cherished second most in the entire world. He knew that he had left Viktor and Ben behind, but part of him had always hoped that there was a chance Viktor would wait for him. He knew that was stupid, no one would be able to love their thirteen-year-old bodied adopted brother. Still, the idea hit him in the back of the head like a sledgehammer every time it popped back into his mind.

“There was a time where we kind of were. I mean, I’m pretty sure that there’s no a duo in the entire family that hasn’t been tried out once or twice. Well, maybe Luther and anyone who isn’t Allison,” Viktor shrugged. “The only person that he kissed other than her before you came back was Klaus and that was supposed to be for ‘practice,’ but I think that Klaus was just pitting us all against each other to see who was best.”

“Man, this family is so fucking weird,” Five shook his head. He took a deep breath and then rolled his shoulders before he stuck his hand out to his brother. “Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Viktor replied. He grasped Five’s hand as tightly as he could, squeezing his eyes shut as he prepared for the feeling of the teleportation. Five’s body was made to be dragged through time and space, he had never had to deal with the spins that way that Lila and Allison had. He also didn’t get nauseous or dizzy when he jumped unless someone had done something that caused him to correct while mid-jump. He knew that Viktor didn’t have the same protections on his body, which was why he was bracing himself so hard.

Five reached deep down into his body, to where the marigold was now nestled within his heart. He took a deep breath as he summoned it up so that it was pooling around them in purple energy. They appeared in the subway a moment later, the marigold settling back down where it belonged inside of him.

Viktor dropped his hand and began to look around the same way that Five had when he first appeared. The subway station looked exactly as it had the last several times that he had visited. The tile was white on the floors and the walls, the ceiling was concrete except for the pipes and electrical wires that lined it, fueling the hanging fluorescent lights and vending machines that dotted the terminal. The entire place was clean, despite the lack of people or perhaps because of it. None of the signs were in English or any other language that Five had seen during his time traveling the earth, but they fit the theme of the place well.

“Woah… Do you think that this is the same kind of thing that the Commission was made out of?” Viktor asked. He started forward, toward the massive map that wrapped around one of the wall pillars in the middle of the room.

“What do you mean?” Five asked as he walked after his brother. He had picked Viktor for a reason and this was exactly that, Viktor was already picking up on things that he had dismissed or not even considered. A second set of eyes were better than none, which was another reason that he had decided not to go it alone like he had many times before.

“Well, you kept saying that the Commission was a place out of time and that was how they managed to preserve the timeline,” Viktor said. “If this place can travel between multiple timelines and points in time, then it has to be something like the Commission. Did time move when you were here? Like for the rest of us.”

“No, it didn’t,” Five replied. He felt his brows furrow as his mind began to whirl with thoughts. “I never got the chance to ask the other version of myself why he had created the Commission or how. It’s something drilled into you from the minute that you start working there, that some things just don’t make sense and never will. I suppose that there was a chance that the other version of myself found a way to enhance his powers so much that he created a pocket of the timeline that was removed from it. Maybe he just saved up enough of his power that he was able to travel here. There were doors that we weren’t allowed to access in the main building where all the briefcases and the safe room were kept, it’s likely that there was an entrance to a place like this or this very subway system.”

Viktor began to run the tip of his finger over one of the lines as his eyes followed it. Someone else may have quickly gotten lost, but Viktor was a musician. His mind had been trained to follow a single line of notes even if the piece that he was reading was covered in other information. It was exciting for Five to watch him trail around the board until he tapped a circle and turned to his brother, “What is this?”

“I believe that those are the stations. If you look over here, there’s a sign pointing to this one in the same language as all of the street signs,” Five said as he tapped the glass on the other side of the pillar from Viktor. 

“Do you know how to read that language?” Viktor asked.

“I do not, but I was able to fine this,” he peaked around so that they were on the same side as he brandished the directional pamphlet like it was the mos important thing that had ever existed in any of the timelines.

Viktor took it from his hands and then opened it so that his eyes could scan over the layouts and the rails. “Wow, I never realized how often the timelines intersected with each other,” he commented.

“I suppose that they have to, since every minor decision that the catalyst for this grouping makes splits it into two or more,” Five shrugged. He stepped behind Viktor so that their bodies were almost entirely pressed together.

Somehow that felt more natural than anything he had done in a good long while, so he let himself remain there despite the fluttering anxiety in his stomach. Viktor leaned back into him with as minute movements as he could manage while they tried to decipher the timeline that they could arrive in.

“I think that we need to take this as carefully as we can. We shouldn’t go to any of the other timelines unless we absolutely have to. I don’t want to fuck anything else up, and I’m pretty good at that,” Viktor commented as he flipped the pamphlet over to look at the other side.

“I don’t think that us simply being in another timeline is going to cause issues,” Five shrugged.

“Five,” Viktor replied, giving him a disbelieving and disappointed look.

“What?” Five asked, raising a brow at him. The urge to kiss his cheek overwhelmed him all at once. He almost took a half step back to resist it, but he didn’t know if it would actually work or if raising his foot from where it was planted would send him forward and directly into Viktor’s perfect arms.

“You should know better than anyone that messing with one thing can cause the rest of the timeline tumbling down around it,” he replied. He placed his hands on his hips and looked cross, making a pretty good imitation of what Grace, their robot nanny not their niece, had looked like when she was reprimanding them for breaking something.

“Since when have you become the expert on time travel and apocalypses? Last I checked, I was the only one in this subway station that has actually worked for the Commission,” Five said as he glanced around. If he had brought Lila then she wouldn’t have fought him on this idea so much, but he knew that Viktor was the better option. Out of all their siblings, he was the one that could fight the longest and the hardest while keeping Five grounded properly.

“I’ve started enough end of times to know their insides and outsides,” Viktor joked with a lopsided smile.

Five felt like his breath had been stolen from his lungs and he just nodded his head mutely. “What do you think we should do, then?”

“I think that we should try to work out how this map works, get a good idea of where each of the subways might go, and then try that out,” Viktor said. A studious look overcame his face as he leaned closer to the map so that he could keep track of each of the tiny glowing lines that spanned the surface of the map.

---

Year 1

Time travel had always been taught to them as something that was unattainable. None of them had been allowed to read any sci-fi books that contained the subject, and now Viktor understood why. It was fine and good for people that could never attain that ability to dream about what it might be like and the adventures that could occur, but it was dangerous in the hands of someone that could actually do that.

Despite all the studying that they had done and the pamphlet that they carried around with them, they had still gotten lost. The subways had a mind of their own and they traveled where they wished, not where the voice over the subway or the signs said that they were going. They kept track of the stations that they ended up at, but Viktor still refused to have them go above ground.

They began to make food out of the subway rats so that they could sustain themselves without hunger gnawing at their guts. Viktor was able to get them oranges and chips and candy out of the vending machines when they landed in a station that had enough quality food for them to actually get. It wasn’t the life that he had wanted to lead after all his fighting to make something soft for himself, but he had his best friend with him so it was alright.

They changed in minute ways, for the most part. There was no way that Viktor was going to be able to get the testosterone that he had been taking while they were traveling. Time felt basically meaningless, but he knew that they had been down there for quite some time when he saw that his body was changing its muscle and fat deposit back to what it had been when he could barely even look at his own body. His face and abs softened, his hips widened again. He hated the way he looked but he was glad it was only Five with him, so that they could share complaints about shaggy hair and grimy bodies. Viktor had gotten top surgery during the time that they had spent without their powers in the new universe and so he didn’t notice the beginning of his cycle returning until he woke up with his shorts entirely drenched in blood.

It was the first time that he had let Five upstairs, out of the subway and into the world longer than just to check to see if it was the right one. 

Year 2

Viktor had no idea how things had lasted as long as they did. They began to go up onto the surface for longer stretches of time, to begin to make sure that every single option was crossed off. They would explore the town until they happened across either an alternate version of themselves or an entirely different version of the Academy compared to what they were used to.

Some of the timelines had been very different to the ones that they were used to, which meant that they tried to correct by moving back to one of the timelines that was closer to what they believed was the timeline that they had come from. They still had the pamphlet that they had arrived with, but at this point all the lines and characters didn’t make any more sense than they had when they had first arrived.

They carried backpacks with them now, supplies that they had gotten from the surface when they had ventured up there for the second longest time since they had first arrived. They went up to get things for their survival now, like bottled water and more food than the rats and vending machine food that they had been subsisting off of for the year previous.

As they chugged down another one of the seemingly infinite tunnels, Viktor felt his body sagging and soon found his head resting on Five’s shoulder. It felt just as natural as it had back when they were children and caused the tension and nerves in his shoulders to relax entirely. He let his hand drop down in between them and then felt another palm meet his own. He tilted his head up just enough to see the serene expression that had taken over Five’s face. Was this what it would have been like if Five had taken him with the first time that he had time traveled?

Year 3

It was bound to happen eventually, but when one of them finally got sick it was the most terrifying thing that had happened in a long time. They had been camped out at the edge of the surface of a timeline that they hadn’t explored that much when Five woke up with a sweaty body and a blotchy red face. Viktor had seen that happen enough when they were children to know that Five had picked something up.

Viktor strayed out into the timeline to find that it was one where something had happened, not one where they were waiting for that thing to happen. All of the people seemed to have just gotten up and left the town that they had lived in, leaving behind literally everything that wasn’t attached to them. The cash was all still in the till, the electricity and water worked as well as it could when the maintenance team for the city had gone as well. Viktor was able to pick up medicine and supplies from the local hospital before he returned to the house that he and Five were staying at.

It was a nice enough place, even if it was extremely disconcerting that there was literally no one around them. He enjoyed the silence, finally able to shake the rattling of the subway cars moving around them or next to them out of his head. He kept Five’s fever down by dosing him with a fever reducer and soaking his neck and feet in cold water whenever his temperature got a little too high.

By the time it was over, Viktor felt like he had seen a piece of Five that was the closest to his soul that he was ever going to get. They had their backpacks loaded with the supplies that they would need for the next stretch of journey that they took as they tried to find their original timeline.

Year 4

Injuries had become commonplace, but that didn’t mean that Viktor liked what was happening very much. He had his hands down on the ground, gripping the wall behind him so that he didn’t reach out and attack Five for simply trying to help. His boots were off his feet and next to him on the ground, which was the only thing that he was able to look at and yet still reminded him of the thing he was trying to put out of his mind in the first place. Five had a pair of pliers carefully gripped in his fingers, his eyes hardened by the seriousness of the situation and how dedicated he was to the task at hand.

“Ow! That fucking hurts, you asshole,” he growled. He let go of the pillar with one hand and then covered his mouth with his sleeve. Despite how grimy and gross he was from the stretch of nasty subway stations that they had traveled through, he let the fabric fall into his mouth and bit down onto it as hard as he could.

“Well I told you to be careful when you were walking through that glass and you chose not to listen to me,” Five replied, his voice distant and unsteady because of how dedicated he was to the task at hand.

“Not all of us can just pop over it, Five, I had to get there somehow,” Viktor replied. His own voice was tense with the pain and discomfort as he felt the shard of glass being pulled out of the bottom of his foot. Once it was finally over, when he heard the tinkling sound of it hitting the subway floor, he slumped down onto the ground and groaned. “Next time one of us gets hurt, I think that we should just try and find a doctor.”

“Or we could just not get hurt,” Five offered as he began to wrap up the wound with the antiseptic that they had stolen two timelines ago. He laughed when he saw the unamused look that Viktor gave him.

Year 5

Sleeping had never felt like it was something that they had to risk while they were traveling. It was something that came naturally to them, despite the strange place that they had found themselves in. They were only ever in trouble when they went up to the surface because the gates leading down into the subway never let anyone down. They had encountered a handful of people that had chased them to the subway but hadn’t been able to follow after them, or had landed in their own version of the terminal. It was impossible to know for sure, but they did know that they were safe with each other.

The worst that they had ever faced when they were down in the subway and trying to sleep was a surprise train showing up, or the rats that skittered everywhere. They always woke when the rats arrived to make sure that they didn’t get bitten, when Five had during their second year it had almost turned gangrenous, and so that they they could hunt the animals. They were abel to get a decent amount of food from the surface, but nothing enough to fill their bellies with enough energy that they could continue on steadily.

Viktor liked the way that they were sleeping with each other, it felt like it had when they were children. Five had used to pop into Viktor’s room and then cuddle under the fluffy comforter and thick quilts that Grace had placed over their beds. When they had gotten caught like that and Viktor lost the privilege of sleeping with his door shut, they had begun to do it a little differently.

Five would teleport down to Viktor’s room and then bring him upstairs before someone could even notice that he was absent from his bed. They would set up some of the thick quilts down on the ground and then lay next to each other underneath the sheets and comforter, cuddled together for warmth on the floor of their drafty house. That’s what it felt like they were doing now, with several woolen blankets underneath them to support their aging bodies and Five’s arms wrapped around Viktor’s waist to keep them both warm.

Nothing felt more natural than loving Five and taking care of him, he was sure that nothing ever would again.

Year 6

“I’m tired,” Viktor sighed as he let his head hit the pillar behind him. “I’m not sure that I want to do this anymore.”

“What do you mean by that?” Five asked. He gently set down the stick that he had been using to move around the rat that they were eating for dinner that night. “The rats may not be very palatable after all this time, but they taste better than hunger.”

“They taste like hunger,” Viktor said. The two of them smiled at each other, laughing silently in their eyes at the inside joke. “You don’t have to worry about me offing myself, I would never leave you here alone. At least, not if I could help it.”

“I don’t like to think about you dying,” Five shook his head. “You gave me enough of a scare when you slipped underneath the train car while we were trying to get dinner three months ago.”

Viktor sighed again, “I still don’t know how you manage to keep track of time while we’re down here. I thought I was going to be able to feel the differences in the timelines based on the amount of marigold there, but we’re too close to the rest of them. When we’re on the main track like this,” he pulled out the pamphlet and then pointed towards the massive jumbled line of color in the middle. He took another deep breath, “When we’re here it’s all so loud. I feel like they’re rattling around in my chest and they’ve been doing it for so long that I can’t hear any difference.”

Five was quiet for a while before he asked, “Do you remember where we went when I was sick? The timeline where everyone had vanished but there was no destruction or havoc?”

“Of course I do. You being that sick was one of the scariest things to happen while we were down here,” Viktor replied with a nod.

“I think that we should go back there. We should try to backtrack as far out of the main set of timelines as we can, to give you a break. I want to have one too, but I can’t imagine how loud all this has to be for you to deal with,” Five said. He was speaking pragmatically, but his tone was still softer than it usually was.

“Why are you so concerned about me?” Viktor asked, folding the pamphlet back up and setting it down next to them.

“You know why,” Five mumbled.

“I think that I would prefer to hear you say it out loud,” Viktor said. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest and he knew that this time it was from anticipation and excitement instead of another panic attack that was trying to murder him before the surface did.

Five turned to him properly, dropping the stick down to the ground. He brought his soot-coated hand up to Viktor’s face and brushed his thumb over the other man’s cheekbone. Slowly, they both leaned closer together until their lips had touched. Their mouths moved in perfect synchronicity, open and closed, back and forth. It was the most love and care that either of them had ever received in their entire lives and it was exactly the thing that had kept them alive all this time.

Year 7

“Viktor?” Five called through the greenhouse that they had made into their home. 

They had stayed there longer than the couple of days that they had promised each other. It didn’t feel wrong anymore, not when they had suffered through so much to get there. They made things out of the items that they scavenged from the subway and the houses around them. Viktor had been able to get new clothing, jeans and a comfortable t-shirt that had a band he had never heard of it on the front. Five was in a Henley and a pair of slacks, something that he said made him very happy. They had matching golden bands that they had taken from a jewelry shop across time too, the one that had the alarm going off even to that day despite the fact that there was no owner and no cops to come and investigate.

“Yes, love?” he asked as he set the watering can down. He didn’t have a lot of things to do in the new place since there were no other people, but he had picked up the violin and gardening. The music helped the plants grow, or at least that was his theory since everything was so much more lush and green since he had arrived.

“I found something that I think may be of interest to you,” he replied as he pulled a notebook out of the back of his pocket. “This is what I was using to keep track of the timelines that we crossed while we were searching for the one that might have brought us back to the original.

“I don’t think that one exists, but this could help us get back to our siblings. We wouldn’t have to be alone anymore,” Viktor beamed.

“Are you feeling up for it?” Five asked. The worry that creased his brow was cute, so Viktor stepped off the stool he had been on to reach the strawberries in the back and then kissed the lines away. He was met with another pair of lips on his, which filled his heart with so much love that he felt like it might burst.

“I am. I want to go back to where we belong, with people and answers and our siblings,” Viktor smiled.

“Hopefully they haven’t managed to fuck anything up in the time that we’ve been gone. However long that is for them,” Five said. He caught another kiss before the two of them delved into conversation about what they would need to take with them when they began the second part of their two-person odyssey.