(more miuposting) thank you all for
being mature and understanding that just because some of my faves are the Problematic Girls doesn't mean i think it's good they behave that way or that we should all put up with people who behave that way etcetera. i'm so traumatized by Twitter Tactics still ha ha.
anyway
it seems we've all come around on Toko but i know a lot of folks still shy away from the golden girl Iruma Miu. and i get it. i would never say you Need to like Miu, nor am i offended when people dislike her: she is extreme in a way that i think even surpasses Toko.
Miu is selfish and Miu crosses boundaries and Miu is really horribly rude at the worst times. however, Miu also, canonically/semi-canonically:
has psychotic breaks/delusions and depersonalizes (Shuichi FTs)
is so excited someone's paying attention to her that she doesn't mind if it's a fight/negative (Kaede FTs)
admits that her personality is an act (Love Hotel)
is so lonely she's willing to have a baby just to ensure her partner doesn't Leave (Love Hotel)
doesn't have Friends (Kaede FTs/Summer Camp)
is actually quite bothered she has no Friends but Toko does (Summer Camp)
acts surprised that Kaede is worried about her (Kaede FTs)
admits no one pays attention to her Inventions very much (Shuichi FTs) and invites Kaede for a sleepover the moment Kaede does (Summer Camp)
gets provoked by Kokichi for no reason, constantly, in a weird sexualized way (most of her English interactions with Kokichi - i'm told it comes off differently in Japanese)
continually talks about how no one understands her (every FT ever)
immediately falls in love with Shuichi in an Obsessive way because he acted like any person would and stopped her from self-harm (Shuichi FTs)
is genuinely sad when she thinks Shuichi doesn't want to be near her (Shuichi FTs/LATU scenes)
this is all unsurprising to me, because most people don't even try to talk to her like she's a Human Being, and when they do, they immediately get mad/aggressive and won't de-escalate. no, i don't expect Therapist Talk out of DR characters, but man, fucking...of course she's a weirdo who thinks she's a cyborg, when you even have Shuichi saying it's creepy when she's happy:
in her mind, he only ever Cares about her when she's having a breakdown! he considers her Pube Blood Food a sign of a "genuine" love confession! Miu's behavior makes total sense to me.
this does not Justify how she is, no. but i see a lonely and alienated girl who decided to act out in an attempt to get some attention, even if it's bad. Miu reads as severely mentally ill to me and just because her mental illness isn't cute, aesthetic, or quiet doesn't mean she doesn't deserve healing.
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obviously only like 3 episodes into domina so i can't actually really comment on this but i do think its interesting to see how it portrays these characters in comparison to rome because while rome was, even in season one, wildly inaccurate, to me it always felt like it was for the purposes of dragging these nebulous historical figures back down to earth (very evident with the focus on the common people, the streets of rome etc) so the historical inaccuracies were always to serve a larger purpose, the record being sacrificed for the sake of theme and character. whereas with domina it first of all has a far more narrow scope than rome, but also its presenting itself as being a correction of the historical record (which is interesting given shes one of the most demonised roman women) but this does make the choices they make in the writing, especially when its interrogating the historical record more, hm, i guess open to me being more critical.
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I think if a fairy showed up at my house like yeah they are not real but there is narrative precedent for that. a fairy, if it existed, would show up at a house. i just need to suspend one disbelief everything else tracks. it's a big surprise, but a singular one. i would know how to get with the programm pretty quick.
if a walrus knocked at my door there would be many more fucking questions than one. a walrus showing up at my house? knowing that knocking is the required social etiquette? having reasons to knock on my door and somehow the ability to do that despite having no arms? said walrus coming to me of all people?? a walrus being real is the least of my concerns at that point why the fuck does it need my help what kind of problem can I solve that a socially aware and apparently findextrous walrus fucking can't
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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Truths that Co-Exist
Barbie (2023) is a giant product placement that profits off nostalgia.
The writing is profound and life-changing and understands why we seek nostalgia in a way most nostalgia-driven entertainment doesn’t.
The film is self-aware about how even now, Barbie dolls set incredibly unrealistic beauty standards. Their “body diversity” does not even scratch the surface of what that phrase really means. I don’t expect this to change.
The film still made a beautiful statement with the scene on the bench about how societal beauty standards are narrow and restrictive! And that beauty comes from experiencing life and the marks it leaves on you!
Its feminist statements are validating. Many of us see our reality onscreen, and the great thing is that it includes how cishet men fall down a pipeline of toxic hypermasculinity. It also shows the solution, and allows men to express themselves despite what society expects them to be.
The film is a capitalist venture.
The cast (aside from the leads) and crew were probably overworked and severely underpaid during filmmaking.
We can still appreciate that something fun was made, and we all made another wonderful memory where we and our loved ones went to the movies color-matching in pink.
We should not feel guilty about seeing ourselves in this film.
Meanwhile, support the WGA and SAG-Aftra strike.
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