#i have no fucking idea what ship name we as a fandom are landing on so🤷🏻‍♀️

[actual-bisexual-trash]

I know I'm late to the party, so I'm sure a million other people have already said this; but considering this show was made by multiple people who worked on Supernatural, it really does feel so intentional that Edwin gets sent to hell the moment he tries to confess his love to Charles. Only, unlike in Supernatural, Charles immediately moves heaven and earth to get to him. He follows Edwin down into his darkest horrors and nightmares and gently leads him out by the hand. And as they're ascending the stairway out of hell Edwin confesses again, and is met not with silence or rejection, but with instant acceptance, reassurance that he is loved, and a promise that they have an eternity to figure this out together.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Got tagged by @chaotic-neutral-knitter to share my favorite fics I've written and I feel a little bad not putting any of my 3 OFMD fics on the list. But in my defense it was very hard to choose between my 116 slutty slutty children, and while I like my OFMD fics a lot (especially Learning and Remembering) I decided to limit myself to five fics across all the fandoms I have written for over the past nine (!!) years, and there are some that stand above the rest.

Maybe I'll Show You the Way (Dune, Paul/Chani). Maybe my recency bias is showing but I really think this is one of the best things I've written. Paul and Chani's whole "falling in love while fighting side by side in an anti-colonial armed resistance movement" romance in Dune Part Two felt like it was designed in a lab to appeal to me specifically, and I just wanted more of it! What started with a simple "5 times they fucked in between fighting the Harkonnens" premise has become a novella-length character study about war, politics, solidarity and resistance to oppression in all its forms, interlaced with a very sweet, youthful first-love romance that always has a bittersweet edge because we the audience know these characters are living in a tragedy. This fic is one chapter from completion and I've been stalling because I really wanna stick the landing on this one, but it will get finished!

a narrow door, swiftly closing (Dune, Paul/Duncan) Different ship, different era (post-Dune Part One) and a very different vibe. The fun of this ship is the multiple power imbalances running in different directions (younger/older, student/teacher, lord/vassal, end product of a 90-generation eugenics program with a mind that can bridge time and space/Just Some Guy). It's also got that chewy age gap thing where the older character has watched the younger character grow from a child to an adult and has to wrestle with the realization that they find them sexually attractive now. Peak forbidden romance and mutual pining in this one and not just one but two of my favorite finally-crossing-the-line kisses I have ever written.

Three Times Is a Habit (Trust, Primo/The Other Paul) Ah yes, my "which doomed curly-haired teenage twink heir to a powerful dynasty named Paul are we talking about?" era. For a hot second (most of 2021) I was really into this hidden gem FX limited series Trust, based (with many creative liberties taken) on the real kidnapping of John Paul Getty III in Italy in the 1970s. The fun of this fandom is that every ship is an absolute garbage fire of bad decisions, and writing the trainwreck emotional logic that leads to a traumatized teenager repeatedly hooking up with his kidnapper was an adventure. There's also a fun meta layer at play in the relationship between our reality, the fictionalized "true" version of the kidnapping that happens in the show, the lies the characters tell about the fictionalized version of the kidnapping in the show, and the version of the characters I'm writing, some of whom are based on real people and some of whom are made up. (Is this RPF? You decide.) This fic will make zero sense if you haven't watched the show. But you should! It's a wild ride with a great cast (Donald Sutherland presente!)

Salvage & Scrap (Mad Max: Fury Road, Gen) Two minor characters who have a combined total of maybe five minutes of screen time produced what was until recently my longest fic on AO3. This fic was based on a fantastic prompt: what if Ace (the older war boy who seems to be Furiosa's second in command on the War Rig) and Valkyrie (Furiosa's Green Place gal pal) both survived their violent vehicular encounters and met each other? The idea was immediately appealing to me because they both care about Furiosa but have known such different versions of her, and the way their worldviews would clash seemed like great story fodder. I still love the imagery of them meeting at the place where their worlds have literally collided--the wreck of the War Rig in the Rock Riders' canyon. Also I recently reread this and I forgot how devastating the tiny glimpse we get of Furiosa is in this fic.

Fightplay (Mad Max: Fury Road, Max/Furiosa) You know this list wouldn't be complete without a smutty Maxiosa fic. It was really hard to pick one piece of the 127k smut novel I wrote about them in non-chronological order over the course of about 3 years (2015-2018). But Fightplay was definitely the start of writing uhhh a certain kind of dynamic for them. The prose is very spare and exacting in a way that I still find hot 9 years later.

Tagging @thebyrchentwigges, @thetardigrape, @nandamai, @bethagain, @demolitionwoman-blog and anyone else who wants to do this!

[inastarlesssky]

In Defense of Dramione - an essay

Okay, time for another Ted talk/ soapbox/ pointless rambling...Putting it under the cut because I have opinions.

In Defense of Dramione - an essay

First of all, I want to say I ship Dramione. Which is a recent thing, specifically about half a year ago. I didn't always because well it never occurred to me that you could. Of course, that's how ships are. We ship some ships bc they're canon, okay, fine. But we ship a whole lot others that aren't because you name whatever reason (they've got chemistry, they WORK, they're better than the canonically approved pairings whatever the hell else, idk). My point is, it had never crossed my mind that I myself would actually like the idea of Draco and Hermione. Bc naturally, you look at them and you think, "He did insult her when they were children. He was an asshat, etc etc." But...BUT.

You know that trope Enemies to Lovers? Ever heard of redemption arcs? Yeah, those are things. Of course, I don't speak on behalf of everyone in the fandom because we all have our reasons for why. But I ship them because there is potential in Draco's character for growth, for repentance, for redemption. I believe that he's capable, when he's an adult of realizing that he fucked up and that the beliefs he was spoonfed as a child are not the law of the land. I've read more fics than I can count that describe this character arc for him and they do it masterfully. Honestly, I think he's a pretty complex character and I believe that we see a sliver of that in the last few movies. Like look, in 6th year, Harry hit him with Sectumsempra and nearly killed him. But when the Golden Trio were at the Manor and it was on Draco's shoulders to identify Harry and basically seal their doom, did he do it? Did he rat them out? Nope.

Maybe this wasn't exactly Draco "forgiving" Harry, admittedly. But Draco saw that Harry was their only hope for destroying Voldemort or for having some sliver of a winning chance, of a possibility of surviving the mess Voldemort was orchestrating. He obviously deemed it important enough to dare to lie, especially knowing that Bellatrix would have summoned the Dark Lord himself in the next few moments. If Draco really didn't care about the outcome of everything, he wouldn't have done that. If anything, we see that he cares at least about the safety of his family because that could have also been the motive. But that gets me thinking, couldn't he also have confirmed Harry's identity? Voldy would have arrived, perhaps praised Draco and spared the Malfoys to die another die. So really, Draco might have gotten more out of it if he HAD confirmed Harry's identity. Hmm food for thought.

Second point, I'm not going to judge anyone in the fandom because of reasons stated above, but I will go so far as to say, please, if you don't ship Dramione, that's okay. Everyone has their own cup of tea, but please, do NOT claim that all of us (that every single one of us who happen to support this ship) are and I quote "are just a bunch of horny teenagers desperate for some pretty boy and pretty girl sex". That isn't fair and it frankly isn't true, so please don't. I know many wonderful people who have crafted amazing stories and shown great talent through their writing to express the complexities I've just spoken about.

I'll end by saying that we all have our ships, and that's okay. There's no real right or wrong inasfaras who you ship with whom. But it's a basic gesture of respect, I think, to let others love the pairings that they love. Spreading hatred, ill-will or just unkindness toward those of us who enjoy a particular ship, that's not cool and that's what brings us down in what should be something we all enjoy and go to find joy and share that joy with others.

Okay, it seems I really defended Draco more than Hermione here but I will die on this hill and defend my dorks. Fight me on it (joking here but really though. XD) Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[nqn]

° pine • he/him && adrian • they/them °

hi i'm pine this is my south park blog! i'm sharing it with my partner, adrian! we like to draw :3 you can check the tags on this post for our art!

i am 24, adrian is 26

i also write fanfiction! my ao3 username is also nqn, and if adrian posts any, i'll be sure to link it!

—

disclaimer !! i'm a style shipper before i'm a person, but i don't care to hate on or get in discourse about any other ships! do whatever you want, i don't control you

our aus:

tsot: marshwalker is a wolfman, who instead of the typical werewolf transformation, is able to summon the wolf part of himself as a familiar to fight with. he goes through a magic rift and ends up in a land of beautiful plant/animal/people elves. obviously falls in love with the king. building blocks: stan is so sad ♥♥♥ he's currently dealing with living in this fucking place forever, and finally realizing that the people around him after ALSO alive and breathing and have their own lives. cares so much about his friends. is so hurt.

haven't been active in this fandom since 2017, but its been 7 years and i miss my little freaks and i miss indulging.

tag most characters just by their first name, eric gets tagged as cartman since it's mostly what he's called.

i have really intensive headcanons and my own entire idea of how this fuckin show works. i will ramble about this if encouraged. and my own versions of these characters have been in active development most of my life, so! i have adult designs!

[flowerflamestars]

Hey! So I went to check your bookmarks and alas you have none, but what are the chances you would still have Jason Todd fic/author recommendations? Assuming I've read none. Or just any favorite Batman fics?

I'm getting a little overwhelmed with all the different fandom tags and timelines 😅

🤍

So, as someone who is also relatively new-ish to the Batman fandom but binged A LOT of content early on, my best advice is going to be to find your own vibe.

I've been on tumblr since 2012 and wandered through a ton of fandoms- and yet? Batman has bowled me over with it's sheer....in fighting? (This is obviously not like. Voltron-level stuff. Do yall remember tumblr when Voltron was raging?) People are SO SURE their thing is The Correct Thing. Despite the fact that there are a near endless amount of canon permutations. SO MUCH ship discourse, babe.

So, of course, I have many recs, mostly from ships people get mad about.

A good Jason character intro: Give Thanks to Broken Bones by thepartyresponsible. a VERY GOOD Jason, but one the other hand, technically an Avengers fic. Highly readable, maybe doesn't 100% land the ending, but an extremely good mix of the two worlds.

My favorite Bruce Wayne: Masking by BombusBombus. As much a loving meditation on neurodivergence as it is a a love story, Superbat at their most husbands. (teen baby Jason running around, being lied to by Bruce about why his dad is just. staring at pictures of Superman's hands.)

Smut: make me (say your name) by Naheka. Dick/Jason, character study wrapped around smut that is just. SO in character. Not wildly explicit, but earning the rating.

Fluff (not vigilantes au): no ordinary by SPQR. Dick/Jason. They're teenagers at boarding school and it so SO perfectly captures that hazy late teen longing AND Jason's bone deep direness about all kinds of love. I'd read 8x more words of this.

Further fluff: a blue curtain is a damn blue curtain by heartslogos. I have no idea if Jason canonically knows the language of flowers, but it pops up a surprising amount? And frankly, feels right. Short, sweet, disaster vibes. Heartslogos has literal hundreds of fics, I haven't shifted through them all, but it seems like a good mix of gen and romance.

Bats being messy as all hell: Strings Attached by FabulaRasa. I love love love what a (justified) bitch Jason is in this one. Primarily a Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan story, but the background Jason/Dick absolutely got me. Everyone's an adult and everyones being characteristically fucked up. Trigger warning for some messy internalized homophobia stuff being worked through. A lot of stuff about Bruce and Jason just...loving and hating each other.

Casefic that works as a romance with fun Adult elements: do you wanna feel a little beautiful, baby by sister. A rare gem in terms of everyone found familying about while not acting like that's a restrictive container. Jason/Tim. Plot important booty shorts. Easily the most realistic/best Stephanie Brown I've come across. Obsessed with the little snaps of Jason's vulnerability we get in this one.

I'm definitely forgetting or leaving out some fun ones, but this is a start! Happy reading :)

[keirou-kun]

y'know what, fuck it. Because I feel like it. Some of my tags probably seem random AF to anyone who's looking at them, and I like the stories behind them so I'mma tell some of them and you can't fucking stop me because this is my blog and I do what I want around here.

But I’ll at least shove it under a cut bc it’s longish XD if you want to know about a tag I didn’t mention, there’s an askbox somewhere around here owo

General Tags: Audible Emotion is my music tag, because I have said for almost four decades that music is what emotions sound like.

So Let It Be Written is my positivity tag, because gdi we need this shit and it felt right to use that even if some of the positive stuff in there isn't actually written or a wish, it's just positive, feel-good shit.

Ship Tags: Gunblade, because at one point I think that was the actual ship name for them. Yes I was a Homestuck. No I am not ashamed of this fact. The fandom was a trash fire but the story was damn fucking good.

I Know, because that is one of the rawest, most emotional replies you could give in that context to someone confessing their love and to this day I adore the fact that that was Harrison's idea to say rather than have Han tell Leia he loves her too. Also it just defines their entire relationship.

Shadowed Flame, because Hughes is Roy's shadow and also it sounds damned poetic, fight me.

Mirrors of Wisdom because I stole it from a friend after 'And they were roommates' got old XD And because they are. Haitham himself admits that Kaveh is his perfect mirror [though naturally never to Kaveh's face XD]

Fox and Hound because well -gestures at them- Tighnari is a fox, Cyno is Anubis-coded and his constellation is 'Lupus Aureus' which translates roughly to 'Golden Wolf', I mean come on.

Raining Fire because of Ayato's Burst making it rain in an AOE effect and Thoma being a Pyro user. Also it sounds pretty and it's a very evocative phrase.

Hurricane because I mean have you met them? Anemo plus Hydro with Electro = Storm.

Disarm because of an old Wolfwood AMV set to the song of the same name by the Smashing Pumpkins and, honestly? The more I see of the pair the more that song fucking fits them and it hurts.

Persona Non Grata because I think I'm funny. It's also a dig at Akechi that my Joker would 100% use.

Cross-stitch because that's the actual ship name for them and it's still funny almost ten years later.

Character Tags: Stay Frosty because it just sounds like something Kaeya would say, the smartass.

Hydro Bastard Man because that's what I've been calling Tartaglia for ages and it amuses me.

Anemo Twerp because he's a fucking twerp. Also he uses Anemo, but mostly he's a fucking twerp XD

Stranger in a Strange Land because A: I love the way it sounds and always have, and B: it's what he is.

Little Lost Firefly, because in Japanese her name is Hotaru. Which means Firefly. [His name is Sora, for Sky, if you're curious]

Himboni because well, have you met Itto?

Fallen Captain because it is 100% how he sees himself and I can't think of anything better for Dain. I'm working on it.

Cousin Keiji because my personal P5 Protag is named Keiji, and my sibling's friendgroup has this thing where all their Protags are related [generally various iterations of sibling-hood] so I just declared mine to be a cousin since his last name is Kyouraku rather than either canonical one. Thus, Cousin Keiji.

Wisteria Warrior because one of the kanji in Saitou's name translates to 'Wisteria', and I think it suits Hakuouki!Saitou.

Eyes of Sky because have you seen Gojou Satoru's eyes? They are unfair to the extreme. Also I couldn't think of anything better.

SHSL Average Joe because have you met Hinata Hajime? He's so mediocre he'd get an Honorable Mention at a mediocrity competition. And he knows it.

[incarnateirony]

Y'all stop. Stop trying to make me One Of You. Stop trying to involve me in stan nonsense. Stop trying to involve me in fandom only arguments of idiots choosing to be idiots for the social roleplay of it all.

I have been very clear, for many years, what my real issues were. For years, you guys also tried to diminish that into your personal stan wars. The reality of the dismantling of old TBS, the bulk cancellation of shows, real BTS racist treatment or injuries my friends took, all of this you could declare Imaginary or Unimportant;

because the only thing important to yall is fighting about 3 pretty actor men and one gay ship you either want at the cost of all people around you be damned, or don't want to the same, and have let the preferences determine interpretation of real life events until the social environment is lost to its own performance art, ignoring the real battle you're fighting about.

Shippers wanted to scream queerbait and feel like they were doing something, antis screamed nuh uh delusional, and somehow the writers, market testing, et al didn't matter, only your preferences and screaming did, reality was a sidebar to yall.

Did I weaponize this fandom's anger? Abso fuckin lutely. But I had even almost accepted the ending as a Bad Ending until I realized ten years of my ground ax and studying this business for weak points lined me up for a hole in one with the assembly being built, the netflix deal lapsed, and all other situations pinning the CW in a corner with a rapidly changing industry--even knowing I could turn guns bigger than CW, WB, Paramount et all on the lot of them from syndicates if they were crunched right. Their streaming and internationals sank, their ratings gouged, and even syndicates were Over It, and so the Nexstar sale to make their own stations sustainable before complete obsoletion.

These are literally things you guys do not understand, but also refuse to. Failing to understand and failing to listen are actually very different things. And when you fail to listen for years, the perspectives, agendas, motivations or purpose of other people will be outright alien to you by the time you try to observe it outside of your own box.

Most of your boxes are "stan: an obsessive fan, usually in the name of a high visibility individual, named after the psychosis in Eminem's song, Stan". This is not my interest. Read all of the above and realize how Fundamentally Different Our Interests And Ambitions Are, and figure out why my style of speaking or information has ALWAYS remained external to main fandom "approved" boxes. Because I am not here for your stan boxes, and do not care about your psychotic stan rules and the illusion of any kind of control fans have over this space.

Figure it out, kids. No matter how angry you get in my inbox, we will never be the same, and your anger alone reveals in your "OMG U TINK UR DA MOST ITK STAN" freudian nonsense where your own heads are at and WHY my real world data is incompatible with the relativity void of "all opinions are equal and relative in screaming stan land".

Naw man. Supernatural was the show that gave Pedowitz the bright idea to ship EVERYTHING to Vancouver and fuck everybody. You think I'm really an SPN stan? Fuckin shit. I'm a Person Who Enjoys Supernatural but if it had exploded before Pedowitz had ever fucked up Atlanta, I would not be upset and we would not be here. I was not a friend to Supernatural, I have been very clear on that, but a fight to an internal battle the screaming stans here ignored going on completely until it started slapping them, and they could only adjust their narratives to pretending it was sudden, denying the years-old receipts showing how internally long lived the damn thing was. Because stans don't care about reality. They care about controlling their own fictional narratives.

'OMG U TINK UR ABOVE US' yeah, I fuckin do. Sometimes the real world is like that and people know more than you. Cope. You're probably a grown up. Deal with that. You guys are operating as Stans Of A Tv Show You Want Social Attention In. I am operating as Someone With 10+ year old personal/professional grudge and intuitive corporate nuance understanding. These are not compatible views but I will not let the reality of the latter be silenced by the performative attention seeking of the former.

People like 2po still trying to spin S15 as sudden and pretending WB paid for real expensive market testing ($400/participant, 2~ hour long, 1 on 1 Destiel Study circa Goodbye Stranger, DVD extras, and intensive romance grilling) in S12 (which he denied for 3 years until slapped with the receipts I had the whole time, which were always real, and he was always Completely Divorced From The Reality Of) for No Reason At All about The Exact Thing Three Years Earlier When The Show Started Shifting? Definitional stan psychosis, trying to control a fictional social narrative.

The reality is, that's years of this asshat being completely unplugged on both the writing, showrunning, AND corporate events, of which waterfalls of other ramifications blossomed for the years after, but the entire tree of process is something that will remain blind to them in reality until they accept what Things Actually Mean, and What Actually Happened, not Their Version Of How They Wanted To Read Things Happening At The Time. Anything else is grafting a fictional narrative over reality and hoping nobody picks up the rug to see what the pile you brushed under it is.

But he needs that fictional narrative, and those like him that eat from his lying, fiction-dealing hand. He refuses to trace back his own branch of observation to the core point in season 12 he turned left at albuquerque and in a result he's gonna keep going off on a branch into fantasy land, twisting over himself again and again as his own talking points self-conflict on his claims of how HE thinks things will work, branching again, and again, at each junction growing further away from the trunk, until his fiction is so grand he's lost HIMSELF to it.

[roxyfoxgamer150]

I got this idea from a comment, so shout out to the comment! (Unfortunately I can't reply to comments oof-)

WARNING: hints of !N<€ST (ew just ew-)

Edit: HOW MANY !N<€ST FANFICS ARE IN THE DAMN FANDOM!?

—————

"What do you mean I need to react to some shipping AU's? I know the couples there!" Observer Mirabel exclaims, looking at Scrappy Mirabel in irritation.

"Don't get cocky that you know the adult ships, I'm saying the ships where the kids are shipped with" Scrappy Mirabel says.

Observer Mirabel rolls her eyes, looking at a portal. "Alright, fine. I'll go into this AU and possibly run. I haven't looked into this because it's new."

"Wonderful! Now get your disguise. And I mean THAT disguise too." Scrappy Mirabel says to Observer in a serious way.

Observer Mirabel snaps her fingers, making the disguise appear. It contained a voice changer, protective armor pads (Shoulder, ankles, elbows, knee pads), and sleeveless gloves.

She began to wear the disguise. "So, what's the AU about?" She asks Scrappy Mirabel.

Scrappy Mirabel only chuckles, "Figure it out yourself, don't vomit." "But why?-" Scrappy Mirabel suddenly pushes Observer Mirabel into the portal, muttering "May her sanity rest in peace."

—————

She lands on her face. Groaning, she lifts her self up and fixed her black glasses, part of her disguise.

She then activated her voice changer, making her voice sound more mature.

Observer Mirabel looks aroud, noticing that she's in an alley, she walks out of it, and explores the town.

'Everything is the same though?' She thinks. She walks towards where the Casita is, but is suddenly stopped by someone.

"Oh! Hello there, are you new in town?" She looks behind her and sees- Oh Dios mío is that Julieta? How is she the first person she meets!?

"Uh- sí, I'm a traveler." Observer Mirabel calmly states, internally she was panicking.

Julieta suddenly gasps, making Observer Mirabel confused. "Dear your head and nose bleeding! We need to patch you up!" She grabs her hand and drags her towards the Casita, making Observer Mirabel grimace. 'I don't know what kind of AU this is because of Scrap.'

Minutes later, she's sitting on a kitchen counter, talking to Julieta while eating an arepa.

"Hey, why did you drag me here? You don't even know me." She asks, Julieta just chuckles. "If travelers are welcomed here, it means they are chosen to be here." Julieta exclaims while making food.

She notices that Julieta was wearing a faint smile. Observer Mirabel tilts her head in confusion, making Julieta notice. "You just remind me of my daughter. Oh! I haven't said my name yet, I'm Julieta Madrigal." She stretches her flour-covered hand to Observer Mirabel.

"I'm... Bel." She shakes her mother's Julieta's hand. Wait why does Juli look like she is familiar with me?

"Also, could you please grab mi hija and my sobrino? My nephew and youngest are still in one of their rooms, look for the blue colored door." Observer Mirabel nods "Ofcourse Julieta." She gets off the kitchen counter and walks to the stairs.

She doesn't notice the AU Julieta smiling at her like Observer reminds her of a daughter.

She doesn't notice what Alternate Universe she was in.

Observer Mirabel stands infront of Mirabel's door. Looking at the doorknob suspiciously.

She takes a deep breath, 'Alright Observer, you just have to get Mirabel and Camilo out of the room. Nothing too bad right?' She thinks.

She opens the door, and immediately regrets it.

"Hey señorita Julieta is asking me to fetch you threeOH DIOS MIO WHAT THE FUCK LOCKTHEDOOR-" Her voice changer cracks after hearing a moan. She quickly closes the door after barging in, barely hearing the two horrified gasps behind the closed door.

She quickly makes eye drops appear in her eyes, not even caring what kind at least she can heal her eyes.

She immediately dashes to the stairs, Casita helping her by turning the stairs into a ramp (was it that traumatizing to the point Casita was helping?).

Julieta peeks through the kitchen. "Bel? Is everything okay-" "YEAH EVERYTHING IS FINE JUST DON'T LOOK INTO MIRABEL'S ROOM" she says in one breath. Observer Mirabel's eyes were so white you couldn't even see the pinprick sized pupils.

"Juli? Is that the friend you were telling me about?" "Oh look! She's wearing protective pads!" Two voices were heard. It was Agùstin and Pèpa.

Observer Mirabel blinked multiple times rapidly. She sees Agùstin and Pèpa looking at her like she's an adorable child.

"Uh hello Señor Agustín y la señorita Pepa. Señorita Julieta I'll be back tomorrow, I must go back where I came from for a bit. I'll be back in the afternoon bye!" She quickly dashes through them, making them confused on what Bel saw behind the door.

After Observer Mirabel running away from them. A portal suddenly opens infront of her. She quickly dives in the portal and lands stomach first. She quickly makes her back face the floor while her front face the ceiling.

Scrappy Mirabel was looking down at her in confusion. "So what ship did you see? Was it-" she was quickly punched in the face, making her yelp in surprise.

"IT WAS A FUCKING CAMIMIRA UNIVERSE YOU ¡PEDAZO DE MIERDA! ¡TE VOY A MATAR! " she activates her gift, making her eyes and mouth glow. Observer Mirabel gets up from laying down on the floor.

Scrappy Mirabel screeches and scrambles to run away. Making Observer just fume at her more.

"¡VUELVE AQUÍ, PERRA! ¡TE HARÉ SUFRIR! ¡TENÍA QUE DECIRLE A JULIETA QUE VOLVERÍA PERO TENDRÉ QUE EVITAR A LOS TRES AHORA!" Observer Mirabel quickly says in spanish and runs after Scrappy Mirabel.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I DIDN'T KNOW!" "¡ME HICISTE LLEVAR EL DISFRAZ POR SUPUESTO QUE SABÍAS BASTARDO!" Scrappy Mirabel just screams while running away.

—————

Translation to what Observer Mirabel said:

"PIECE OF SH[ ]! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU B[ ]! I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER! I HAD TO TELL JULIETA THAT I'LL BE BACK BUT I'LL HAVE TO AVOID THE THREE OF THEM NOW!"

"YOU MADE ME WEAR THE DISGUISE OF COURSE YOU KNEW YOU BAS[ ]!"

[sushirens]

It’s Mutual

Had this idea at 1:52 a.m., decided to write it. [Dedicated to @blooming-mushroom ]

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Fandom: Hermitcraft Characters: Ren/Doc

THIS IS A SHIP FIC ! TW: Slightly suggestive? There's a lot of flirting, maybe some intense hate-flirting more specifically.

============================

“I told you already, man, it’s a mutual agreement.”

“Oh, so you and Doc just mutually benefit from suddenly moving in together when you claim to hate each other? Fat chance, Ren.”

“Bdubs, bro, I know you’re jealous that you’re losing your roommate, but Doc and I have a seriously huge project this season and we figured it’d be easier if we based together.”

Bdubs was having none of this. He knew Doc, and he knew Ren, and they never got along. Ever. He took a small swig of his beer, giving the werewolf across from him an incredulous look.

“I’m not jealous, I’m just calling what I see. And I see a lot of bullshit.”

The door creaked open, the pastel pink unmistakably Xisuma. “Hi fellas,” X smiled, “Ren, thanks by the way. I know you two don’t always see eye to eye, especially after the whole revolution thing a few seasons ago, but it means a lot that one of our most talented redstoners and builders are working together on this project. People are gonna go nuts over it, I can just tell.”

Ren quirked an eyebrow towards Bdubs. “Told ya, B. All in the name of X’s moon project.”

“Fine, whatever.”

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

A few weeks passed, Season Eight kicking into full gear as the two strong-headed Hermits got into a groove a fake friendship. All smiles and jokes on camera, all hateful off camera.

Ren and Doc had built up such a convincing fake friendship, even some of the Hermits began to believe they'd really turned a corner. But they hadn't heard what went on within the walls of their base.

"Keep your shitty 'Renstone' on your side of the island."

"Oh please, your raw building skills are the only shitty thing here. Without your precious "Motherboard", you couldn't build more than a dirt hut."

"Fucking werewolf."

"Dumbass creeper."

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

The disdain the two held for each other hadn't dissipated, it just became more complicated and ludicrous. Wels had been the first to notice the shift in the two headstrong builders, and he decided to have a bit of fun with it.

"So, how're things Doc? You seem less pissy all of a sudden."

"Mostly because I'm getting a break from Ren. Thanks for the collab, I needed to take my mind off him."

"Uh-huh, I'm sure. We were all in Team S.T.A.R. together, but even then you two could barely stand the sight of each other. Somethings changed now, you seem to be a lot more agressive towards him."

"Because he keeps overstepping his boundaries."

In the past weeks, Ren had seriously and truly begun to grate on the scientist's nerves. The more hateful and spite-inducing comments Ren made on the sly, the more Doc found himself hating the hybrid.

"Something's different though, don't you agree?" Wels smirked, taking a long sip of his drink.

"How do you mean?"

"Hate flirting, obviously. The more you two talk the more fruity you two get."

Doc's eye twitched. Ren? Flirting with him? That sent him over the edge. Without another word he flew off towards the Octagon, mechanical eye scanning the ground for the stupid werewolf. He landed gracefully, marching over to his idiotic base mate.

"What the fuck man?" Doc yelled, shoving Ren's back against the wall of chests.

Ren grunted from the sudden impact, throwing his hand up in a poor attempt to shove Doc away. "What the hell Doc? The fuck are you on about?"

"Fucking hate-flirting is what. All week you've been annoyingly close, always bothering me for the most meaningless things."

Ren's face flushed. Had he really been so obvious? The stoic doctor hadn't realized until just now, so maybe that was a plus?

Ren tried to keep up the facade. "Dude, who's putting these ideas into your head? Nevermind, must be some faulty wiring."

A screaming match started between the two, both men shouting profanities and insults through the small gap between their faces. Their faces were flushed, but neither of them realized how close they'd moved together.

"Fuck you!" Ren spat.

"Then do it!" Doc screamed back.

Silence enveloped the two. Doc's face flushed as he stammered, trying to find the words to correct himself.

Ren stood quietly, completely shocked. His tail had stopped wagging long ago, but now every inch of fur stood up on edge.

"Doc? Bro, you okay?"

The pair had become acutely aware of how close they were, the heated breath of each other dancing over their lips. The fatal mistake Ren had made was letting his eyes glance down to Doc's lips for a moment, before continuing the awkward eye contact.

Doc sighed, breaking the silence. "Forget this."

He closed the gap between their faces, locking their lips into a heated kiss.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

The end.

Maybe I'll continue, maybe I won't.

[allisondraste]

Cockroaches and Other Things That Just Keep On Living

Fandom: Mass Effect

Ship: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Word Count: 4019

Summary: It's only been two weeks since the Reaper War ended, and the Alliance is already trying to bury Shepard.

[Click Here for A03]

Two weeks.  It had only been two weeks since the war ended, since that devastating flash of red light burst from the Citadel and bounced off every active relay in the galaxy, since the Reapers fell dead in space and the Normandy crash landed on some tropical little human colony world just on the edge of the Terminus Systems.  It had just been two weeks, but the Alliance and the rest of the whole damn galaxy were already willing to declare Shepard dead.  And to add insult to injury, they’d  given Garrus the great honor and privilege of hanging her name up on a memorial wall in some trite ceremony to make the crew feel better.

“There isn’t anyone who could’ve been at the epicenter of that blast and survived,” Hackett had explained, far too matter-of-factly. “It’s time for us to move forward.”

“Shepard isn’t just anyone,” Garrus had replied, and then promptly told the admiral where to shove his plaque. It was not his finest moment.

Now, he sat in the mess hall, alone and staring down at the dextro-amino rations he’d barely touched. The bastardized version of some overly seasoned human dish would have been unappetizing even if he had an appetite. But he didn’t.  Something about the person he loved being declared dead left a sour taste in his mouth.  He’d only even tried to eat because Liara insisted, and he wasn’t in the mood for another well meant lecture about taking care of himself.

No longer willing to bother, he shoved the plate away from him with the back of his hand, and looked up in just enough time to catch Williams walk past him.  She stopped, performed a proper about-face and marched up to his table.

“Hey,” Ash greeted him like she’d never spoken to him before in her life.

“Hey,” Garrus replied and watched as she shifted uncomfortably and darted her eyes around the entire room before meeting his gaze.

She motioned to an empty seat across the table from him. “Can I— I mean, do you want some company? You just look—”

“Like I’m one news vid about the ‘late’ Commander Shepard away from going postal?” He let out a derisive snort. “Yeah.”

Williams smirked and  eased herself down onto the bench without waiting for him to agree to her company. “I was going to say ‘like shit,’ but that works too.”

He answered her dryly. “Gee. Thanks.”

There was a pause in conversation, then Ash tilted her head in that sympathetic way every human who knew him seemed to do since Earth. “Seriously though… how are you holding up?”

I’m not , Garrus thought, but the words didn’t make it to his mouth, just sarcasm.. “Didn’t realize you cared… or is this just one of those human things where you pretend to care for my benefit?”

She leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Do I seem like the kind of person who pretends to do anything for anyone’s benefit, especially yours?”

He laughed. “Fair.”

“Listen, this is off the record but… Hackett had that mouthful coming.” She laughed and shook her head. “I’m just glad it was you that said it and not me because, well, I like my job.”

If anyone had told Garrus that one day, he’d have a heart-to-heart with the human woman who’d spent their entire first mission together shooting daggers at him from across Normandy’s shuttle bay, he’d have said they were crazy.  But there they were, raw from the absence of someone who meant so much to the both of them.

“It’s been two weeks,” he muttered, looking down at his hands. “ Two. They haven’t even found her bod—“ he tried and failed to choke back the lump in his throat,  but continued talking anyway, glancing up at her— “It’s too damn soon, Ash.”

“I know,” came her firm reply as she reached across the table.  She hesitated for a split second, but then let her hand fall on top of his.  Deep brown eyes welled up with tears that she tried to blink away.  She let out a frustrated huff as one rolled down her cheek anyway, then cleared her throat.  “ Damn. Pretend this isn’t happening.” “Pretend what isn’t happening, Williams?”

“Perfect,” she remarked, wiping her face with the heel of her free hand and laughing. “Kind of hard to believe it’s only been three years since we tracked down Saren.  Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“And look at us now, being mostly civil,” he said with a sigh, staring down at Ash’s hand.  Alien as it was, it reminded him of Shepard’s, strong to be as small as it was, with too many fingers.  He recalled the many times those fingers had traced the hard edges of his face, how that hand had fit so comfortably into his (after a few clumsy attempts, of course).  He’d take another missile to the face to hold it again.

“You know, Shepard worked her ass off to convince me it’d be fine having aliens on board an Alliance vessel,” Ash observed playfully, pulling him from his thoughts.

“You? Paranoid over a handful of non-humans? I’m shocked .”

“Nothing personal,” she explained,“Just didn’t feel comfortable sharing a station with a guy whose grandpa probably shot at mine during the War.”

“Hate to break it to you but—” he leaned back in his seat— “My grandfather was just a run of the mill C-Sec officer.  All he would have done was write your grandfather a nasty citation. ‘Being human in Citadel space,’ used to be a finable offense.”

“God,” she said with another laugh, “Back then, I rolled my eyes and told Shepard I’d do whatever she wanted me to do. ‘You tell me to jump, I ask how high.  You tell me to kiss a turian, I’ll ask which cheek.’”

“We don’t really have cheeks,” Garrus corrected, laughing when Ash shot him a pointed look, “But that’s beside the point.  I’m guessing Shepard never followed through with that order.”

“No, she told me, and I quote, ‘Nobody’s going to be kissing any turians on this mission, Ash,’” she said in her best Shepard impression, then muttered, “Fucking liar.”

“Well, to her credit, I don’t think she planned on me being so… irresistable.”

Ash snorted and rolled her eyes. “Okay, ladykiller .”

There was another pause in conversation, and her expression fell.  She looked down to where her hand still lay on his. “Back then, I just assumed you’d jump ship as soon as things got rocky, as soon as we— as Shepard — really needed you, but…” She trailed off, grip tightening around his hand.  “You never let her down, not once.  Not even when I—”

“You didn’t let her down, Ash,” he argued, sensing where she was headed, “She never thought that.”

“Yeah, well I do,” she snapped, words clipped, “I should have seen the signs that Cerberus had her pinned down, but I let my ego get in the way.  I’m surprised she wanted anything to do with me after that.”

“You’re not the only one who has ever screwed up trying to do the right thing,” he reassured her, “Shepard, of all people, understood that.”

“That’s… you’re probably right,” she nodded and looked up at him, “Thanks. And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Uh, sorry for what?”

“For ever believing you weren’t an important part of the crew,” she stated seriously, then smiled, “And for calling you birdbrain  behind your back.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared in amusement, and he gave her hand a few friendly pats. “No harm done,” he said, then paused for a beat, “Besides, you didn’t hear what I said behind your back.”

One of her eyebrows shot up. “You talked shit about me?”

“So much.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” shouted a familiar voice from across the mess, causing them both to snap their heads toward the sound. “Somebody get this heartwarming moment on camera.”

Ash stiffened, retracting her hand quickly and stuffing it under the table. “Joker.”

“Hey, Joker.” Garrus waved. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he answered, words pointed. “You know, aside from the soul-crushing agony of my girlfriend dying. ”

Garrus had spent enough time around humans to know that the Flight Lieutenant looked rough, even for someone who’d never cared about keeping up appearances.  His eyes were red, the skin underneath dark enough that even the shadow cast from his hat couldn’t disguise the lack of sleep. He made his way unsteadily to the table and sat down next to Williams.

Garrus opened his mouth, preparing to speak, to express sympathy, but Joker cut him off. “And before you start with any of that ‘I understand how you feel’ crap— no you don’t.  Everyone knows you can’t say Shepard’s dead until we’ve ID’d the body.  Maybe not even then. She just keeps living… like a cockroach. ”

“You know you could just say, ‘I’m not doing so hot,” right?” Ash scolded him,  but there was still a softness to her voice. “You don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“Yeah, but see… being an ass is way more my style.”

The table went completely quiet as Joker crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, tension palpable enough it might as well have had mass.  Not one for tolerating awkward silences, Garrus ventured a question. “What the hell is a cockroach?”

Ash smiled, clearly thankful for the change in subject, and began to explain. “They’re these—“

“ Beetles ,” Joker cut her off, “Big, disgusting ones that are supposed to be able to survive extreme conditions other organics can’t.”

“Sounds about right,” Garrus admitted with a shrug.

The pilot flinched and glared at him. “Wait. I called Shepard a disgusting beetle and you’re just okay with that?”

“Are you kidding? Why wouldn’t I be,” he asked sarcastically, “It actually explains why she kept molting. ”

“You’re having fun. Stop it,” Joker whined, scowl deepening, “Stop having fun!”

Garrus laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “This isn’t exactly my idea of fun. My cockroach is missing.”

Joking though he was, his words were honest, something Joker must have detected.  His expression softened even as he puffed his chest out. He deflated immediately as another familiar voice called out, likely interrupting whatever barrage of barbs he’d prepared to hurl at Garrus. This time, it was Vega who strutted over to the table carrying an entire fifth of some sort of human liquor.  Cortez trailed solemnly behind him, examining the rectangular objects in his hands.

“Yo, don’t tell me the party started without us,” shouted Vega, setting the alcohol down on the table with a loud clank , pointing a thumb back at Cortez, “Esteban here took forever polishing the name plaques.”

Garrus stiffened at the mention of the plaques, knowing full and well there had been one commissioned with Shepard’s name on it despite all his protests. Turned out, the Alliance brass didn’t give a damn about some loud mouth former C-Sec officer or his feelings after all. He just hoped none of the humans were able to read the pain in his expression— a hope that was in vain if the sympathetic glance Cortez gave him was any indication.

“What’s that for?” Ashley pointed to the bottle of amber liquid Vega sat on the table.

“What do you think,” Vega asked, as if his intentions should have been completely clear, “I’m going to pour one out for the commander.”

“All over the Normandy's floor?” She raised her brows at him.

“Nah.” He gave her a dismissive wave. “Just down the sink or somethin’.”

She picked the bottle up and examined the label more closely. “But…this is expensive stuff, James.”

“Don’t care,” came Vega’s indignant response, “It’s for Lola.”

Ashley gave him a solemn nod, seeming to understand whatever peculiar human tradition he was planning to perform. Satisfied, Vega turned his attention to Joker, snagging his cap, flipping it around, and placing it down on his head backwards. Joker cursed and grumbled, calling Vega a bully among other things, but Vega just smiled and walked over to Garrus, giving him a supportive clap on the shoulder.

Slowly, the rest of the crew began to filter in, each with their own expressions of concern.  Traynor and Tali arrived together, deep in conversation if the emphatic hand gestures were any indication.  They both quieted as they arrived at the table, Traynor frowning and bowing her head, whileTali approached and slid comfortably  into the seat next to Garrus.

She looked down at the uneaten food and back up at him, giving him a nudge with her elbow and complaining. “You are wasting all of the good dextro rations.”

“Good? Oh, come on,  we both know it’s garbage.”

“Well… yes, but it’s digestible garbage,” she said, holding a finger up to make her point.  Her voice softened when she continued. “And you’ve hardly eaten anything the past few days.”

He sighed and looked down at the rations. “Yeah.”

Tali observed him for a second, eyes glowing behind her helmet. She then grabbed his plate and slid it toward him. “Eat up, Vakarian. Or else I will have to feed you myself… with a spoon I am pretending is the Normandy.”

Garrus let out a laugh despite himself. “I don’t think that’ll work, Tali.”

“You don’t know that.  You haven’t heard my engine noises.”  She laughed along with him for a few seconds, then grew quiet once again and gave him a gentle pat on the back. “The Alliance is going to feel very silly when Shepard gets back and they have to explain why they hung her name up on the wall and sold her hamster.”

“ If she makes it back this time.”

“She will,” Tali asserted, voice cracking, “She has to.”

It was Javik who entered next, voice booming in a debate with Liara, who had taken it upon herself to explain human customs for memorializing the dead. He shook his head and ignored her entirely, stating that if he wished for a history lesson, he would ask for one.  He then snapped his many-eyed gaze to Garrus.

“You should not be saddened about Shepard’s fate, Garrus.  She died with great honor.”

Liara let out an exasperated sigh, and sat down in one of the empty seats at the next table over, bringing her hand to her face.

“What is it, asari?” Javik snapped, “Honor in death is something turians hold in high regard, is it not? This should be a great comfort to him.”

“Perhaps with time,” Liara explained,”But right now it is… insensitive.”

“It’s nothing my dad hasn’t already told me a dozen times,” Garrus stated flatly, “I appreciate the sentiment.”

Weird that a fifty-thousand year-old Prothean reminded him of his dad.  Then again, Castis Vakarian was as about as traditional as turians came, and they butted heads on almost every subject, including but not limited to: Garrus’ disregard for rules, his decision to leave C-Sec—twice, his “risk- and attention-seeking” behavior, and his “absurd infatuation with a human woman”. Their relationship had always been strained, to say the least. Still, he had always been there when Garrus needed him, and listened when it mattered. He was the first call Garrus made from the medbay after the Reapers were destroyed, when he realized Shepard might not be coming back.

He’d been sympathetic, but not even remotely comforting, not unlike Javik was at present. Garrus just didn’t have it in him to explain to either how little he cared about the honorable nature of her sacrifice, the high esteem the galaxy now held her in, or the way history would remember her. None of that mattered when she wasn’t at his side.  How could he be proud, when all he felt was empty?

Once all parties arrived and settled in, the group spent time talking and sharing memories. The Alliance crew members all told stories about encounters with Admiral Anderson, how he more often felt like a parent than a commanding officer, and how his reputation was so much larger than his ego. Traynor did most of the talking about EDI, their friendship, and how seamlessly she’d fit into the crew, how easy it had been to forget she was an AI. Joker just pulled the bill of his cap down to cover his eyes.  Then, the reminiscence moved to the commander.

Every single person present had a story about Shepard, about how she went above and beyond the call of duty to help them, and to make sure they were taken care of while aboard the Normandy.  Shepard had always taken time to check in with the people who worked for her, even when the galaxy was falling apart and herself along with it.  She was a good leader, arguably the best, and an even better friend.  It was clear that everyone in the room admired her, and that she was missed.

Garrus knew he should say something, tell one of the many stories of the trouble he and Shepard had gotten into together. The others all watched him expectantly as he scrambled for words.

“I—“ he began, but was interrupted by the buzzing of his omni-tool, followed by several bright flashes of light. He cursed and pulled up the interface to silence the damn thing.  An urgent message alert flashed on his screen, and he tapped the icon to open it.

From: Dr. Chloe Michel

Subject: Jane Doe

Dear Garrus,

I hope this email reaches you, and that you are still alive to read it.  I am on the Citadel working with an emergency medical unit out of what is left of  Huerta Memorial. The blast from the Crucible caused some severe structural damage near the epicenter, and we have been searching the area to find and identify survivors and remains.

There is a Jane Doe here, who I believe you might know. Please contact me on a private channel whenever you are able.

Take Care,

Chloe

His heart sank like lead into his gut as he read what could only be a request to come in and identify a corpse.  The space around him was suddenly too full, too loud, and the curious eyes of his companions lingered on him for far longer than comfortable. He tapped the display on his omni-tool once again to close it, glancing around the room from one set of eyes to another.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. The truth would only cause unnecessary alarm he wasn’t equipped to handle at the moment.  He stood abruptly, a jolt of pain coursing through his leg that was still recovering from a fracture, and excused himself. “Just need to make a quick call.”

“Now,” Liara asked, frowning, “But the memorial ceremony was just about to begin.”

“So start without me,” he snapped and made his way to the main battery.  He’d apologize later, when his world wasn’t caving in.

The battery doors shut behind him with a familiar hiss and he sank down into his seat next to the workbench where his favorite rifle lay surrounded by tools and unused thermal clips. It had taken a beating in the battle on Earth, and Garrus had poured over repairing it in the days following its end.  He hadn’t touched it since.  There were no more enemies to fight, and the gun just reminded him of Shepard.

Bringing up his omni-tool once again, Garrus established a link using the information Michel provided him.  He only waited a second or two before a voice on the other end picked up.

“Garrus,” exclaimed the woman, “I am so glad you received my message.”

“About that Jane Doe,” he began, cutting straight to the chase, “I— do you need me to identify the b— her ?”

“No… it is Commander Shepard,” she explained, “I am absolutely certain.”

“ Oh, ” Garrus said with the breath he’d been holding.  He was glad he was already sitting down, as the last shreds of hope he’d been clinging to slipped from his grasp leaving him dizzy and sick.  It was Shepard.  She was dead. There was nothing to be done about it.

He took a minute to collect himself and his thoughts, cleared his throat and told the doctor, “I, uh…I’m not really sure how to— I mean, I guess I should make funeral arrangements. That’d be better than letting the Alliance—“

“Garrus,” Michel interjected firmly, “She’s alive.”

“ What,” he asked, more loudly than he’d intended.  Hoping nobody had overheard outside, he lowered his voice and continued, “I mean, how is she? What’s her condition? Is she going to—”

“I won’t lie to you,” the doctor interrupted again, “Her injuries are serious, and she has been comatose since we found her.  Still, her vitals are strong and stable at present. She is a fighter.”

“She is.”

The line was silent for a beat then Michel spoke up again.  “I had a wonder… Shepard’s body has, ehm… extensive cybernetic modification. More extensive than I have seen. We are not certain how, or if it is even possible to repair all of the damage.”

One name came immediately to mind. “Miranda Lawson.”

“Pardon?”

“You need to contact Miranda Lawson,” Garrus clarified,  “She is an ex-Cerberus operative, the scientist responsible for Shepard’s upgrades. And a friend. She will be able to help. I can send you her contact information.”

“Good, yes. I will contact her immediately,” Michel replied, relief noticeable in her voice. She then sighed and said, “I apologize for sending such a vague email.  I am realizing now that it was likely… anxiety provoking. I simply did not wish for the wrong people to find out about Shepard’s survival.”

Garrus huffed, “Yeah, if the media caught wind of this, it’d be a circus.”

“That is what I feared,” she agreed with a sigh, “Besides, I thought you should be the first to see her. I know she is important to you.”

“Thank you, doc. For everything.”

“It is the very least I can do.  I owe my life to the both of you. Twice over, now it would seem:”

“I’ll get to the Citadel as soon as I can.”

“Talk to you then.”

The call ended with a beep and Garrus shut off his omni-tool display, staring blankly at the wall on the opposite side of the room for several minutes, attempting to recover from the emotional whiplash the last half hour had given him.  He took a deep breath, rose to his feet, and headed back out to the mess hall.

All eyes turned to him as he made his way toward the memorial wall just outside the elevator.  EDI’s and Anderson’s names had already been placed, tears already shed. Now they looked to Garrus, Cortez approaching with the name plaque meant to commemorate Shepard’s death. He took the polished silver plate and examined it, light glinting off its corners as he stepped up to the wall.  For a long moment he traced the letters of a name that had come to mean so much to him, to those crowded in the narrow hallway around him, to the hundreds of thousands who’d cheered from ships in the massive fleet she’d rallied and led to victory, and to the billions of lives she’d saved across the galaxy.  Shepard deserved so much more than a name on a wall.

And now, just maybe, she could have it.

Garrus would have preferred to keep  Shepard’s survival to himself, to snag her from the hospital and elope to some secluded tropical paradise where nobody could ask anything of either of them again, except “Would you like a refill on that incredibly alcoholic beverage?” But he knew he couldn’t do that.  After all, he was not the only one who loved her.

Lowering the plaque, he turned to face the others, all of whom looked at him with a mix of confusion and concern.  He glanced down at Shepard’s name again, mandibles flaring out reflexively as relief and excitement swelled in his chest.

“They found her.  They found Shepard,” he told them, bringing his eyes to meet their gazes as he spoke. “She’s alive.”

[ajaxwrites]

Genshin Impact Fanfic Rec List

(because this is my most current obsession~~)

The Narwhal of Dihua Marsh by GreyLiliy

Childe hears of a strong Adeptus living at the Wangshu Inn. Despite warnings from Zhongli that fighting Xiao would be a deathly mistake, Childe seeks out the Adeptus living in the Dihua Marsh eager for a proper fight.

However, Childe severely underestimates his opponent, and the consequences of his actions may keep him from returning home to Snezhnaya.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This fic is interesting primarily because it's not necessarily what you would call an easy story to read. The content can surprisingly get quite heavy as the relationship between Childe and Zhongli isn't healthy and it becomes increasingly obvious as the story progresses. You swing between wanting to separate the two and also desperately wishing that they'll work out because there is something there. The story snowballs from what seems like an innocuous, if stupid and rash, decision on Childe's part to a complicated mess that you can’t help but be enthralled in. I went in expecting your typical romance and ended up in something that was more complex than I expected but also beautifully thought provoking.

Entirely Out of Spite by Bgtea

"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”

Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.

Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?

Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.

And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Whenever this updates, I squeal. If you’re a fan of The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System or just transmigration/reincarnation plots in general, you’re going to love it. Bgtea does a beautiful job in balancing humor with the trauma that comes with the whole reincarnation plotline. The whole of it is beautiful written and watching Childe/Ajax interact with the other characters (and the perspective of those characters) is a delight! 

the sister by glassdrachma

The tragic and unexpected death of Zhongli-xiansheng of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor occurred to the sorrow of many and the deep skepticism of a few.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: glassdrachma has a gift for humor and romance. In short, Zhongli fakes his death for plot reasons and comes back as Jianlao, the bereaved twin sister. Shenanigans ensue, featuring overprotective Liyue-ians (?), chaotic gremlin Venti, and Kexing. Very light hearted, good for the soul.

The White Cicada Society by clementinesgulag

After his little brother is bundled back to Snezhnaya, Childe makes good on his promise to the traveller and takes the first boat out of Liyue Harbor. Any sense of homecoming lasts about as long as an uncooked steak in front of Xiangling, however, when his boat sinks, grounding him back in the mainland.

It's just as well, because the next morning, a body is found in the Northland Bank. A visit from a fellow Harbinger reveals a far more insidious plot than anything Childe could concoct with a god of the vortex and twenty minutes without supervision. The murders aren’t limited to the one Bank. They’ve been trailing down the Liyue border, getting closer and closer to the city. The Tsaritsa has a new mission for him: to figure out who, or what is targeting Fatui forces.

Against his best wishes, Childe is forced to see Zhongli again at the morgue. It becomes clear that he’s going to need a guide, and Childe resolves to quash his pride, and their differences to request his help to navigate Liyue and solve the case.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A diamond in the rough that I slept on and then stumbled back to by accident. I had it marked for later on AO3 and forgot about it for like a good week to my utter self-disgust. It. Is. So. Damn. Good! The mystery is intriguing but I live for the realistic portrayal of the aftermath of the whole gnosis plotline. The betrayal, the bitterness, but ah, the sexual tension. The harbinger interactions in this fic make it gold though.

Lungs full of Roses by SecretlyACatLady

Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident. --- In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal.

…Right?

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic that started it all for me, the one that sucked me into the fandom. This fic is heartbreaking. We always do love a hanahaki plotline but something about the way it frames the disease and the shame that comes with it...I highly recommend giving it a read. The angst is real I tell you.

The Bride of The Golden Dragon by Erika_Bee

“You’re to be sent on a special mission, Tartaglia.”

The young man’s eyes gleamed in interest. “How special?” He asked as he wiped the blood off his daggers.

His superior grinned. “Special enough to put your name in Snezhnaya’s history books.”

—

In which the Archon War ravaged the land of Liyue and to ensure the people’s survival, the God of Geo established the Harvester Contract: One bride per village, every year, in exchange for protection and a good harvest.

Or: Childe is sent on an undercover mission to kill the Geo Archon, but things don’t go as planned.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Don’t let the title scare you off--this isn’t one of those fics where they feminize one of the male characters and reduce their personality to a mindless submissive bobblehead to the point that I want to throw my laptop out of the window. Not that there’s anything wrong if you like that kind of thing, just not my cup of tea. This fic though---READ IT! There’s just something refreshing about the writing and the plot, the way that Childe’s character reads off the page. I live for the interactions between the characters and how the author has mapped the relationships. Warning that recent chapters have swerved decided into NSFW territory though.

the brothers grim by izabellwit

Left in an unfamiliar land with a mission he never wanted, a young Kaeya lies, survives, and somehow finds a family in the process.

Or: How Kaeya came to Dawn Winery, and why he left it. Includes lore, sibling bickering, found family struggles, and a more in-depth look at the years between Kaeya’s arrival and Crepus’s death.

Ships: N/A

Notes: Ahh, little Kaeya. Cheeky ass little shit that’s too angsty and adorable for his own good. I don’t have words for this fic. It makes my heart warm but also makes me want to weep because god, this fic covers exactly how traumatic Kaeya’s situation is and why child soldiers/spies just shouldn’t be. And the dynamic he has with Diluc and Crepus--do me a favor and read it. Screams found family.

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A light-hearted, humorous and fluffy as hell piece. Short word is that Venti comes to Liyue for some fun, causes chaos, accidentally plays matchmaker, and steals some vegetables. A get-together fic for Childe and Zhongli that includes a surprisingly self-aware (if blunt and snarky) Zhongli and jealous Childe that gets increasingly flustered.

melt (speak or forever hold your peace) by anatakana

Falling into bed with Diluc was an unbelievably bad idea given their tumultuous shared history, but Kaeya’s impulsive urge to amuse himself knew no bounds.

It’s all fun and games until emotions got involved.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: THIS IS NSFW. With plot though? This is THE FIC that got me shipping the two (though the game did a good job on its own). The angst is real here and we love the sheer gal of both of these two stupid men.

Cascading (In a good way) by Hubbleablubble

Kaeya is a fascinating annoyance.

(Or: A series of events in which Albedo gets to know Kaeya, and they slowly go from strangers to acquaintances to something more.)

Ships: Albedo/Kaeya

Notes: Sweet fic. Not my typical ship pairing. Loved the Khaenri’ah mentions. Kaeya is Trans FTM here though it’s only briefly mentioned. There is also an incomplete sequel (as of May 2021) featuring an Overprotective Big Brother Diluc on a warpath giving shovel talks to everyone except apparently Albedo that’s also worth reading.

The Language of Flowers by Jules (Penwyn)

Kaeya Alberich has made a habit of lying—after all, the only truths he’s ever spoken cost him everything—but there are only so many lies a man can tell before the truth comes spilling out.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Hanahaki! Except not! Basically, Kaeya pukes up flowers that say the truth whenever he lies. Cue, angst! Lovely and quick read--love Kaeya’s voice here.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly."

Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-"

Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?"

Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Childe, you idiot. Humorous and funny, very light hearted. Makes you wonder if Childe has an IQ. He’s too busy pining/lovesick to realize that he told his target that he’s going to kill him for his gnosis. Zhongli and Liyue remain confused on how Childe still DOES NOT get it but half-ass hiding his Archon status anyway.

the bird without wings by Anonymous

"Kaeya!" someone yells. Small arms wrap around his waist tightly, red hair spilling out of the ponytail, and Kaeya's heart almost stops.

He's talked his way out of all types of situations. From placating international disputes to buttering up his informants, he's always had a quick response to everything.

But for once, Kaeya is speechless. He stares down at the boy with puffy cheeks, slightly crooked teeth and sparkling bright eyes.

Eight year old Diluc beams back.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Diluc gets de-aged and Kaeya gets angsty. The interactions between the two are heartwarming and will induce tears. Childe makes a brief appearence that *chef’s kiss*

call me "lover boy" by Anonymous

Zhongli turns back, eyes bright with amusement, a stray lilypad still stuck in his hair, and Childe thinks, wow. I want to kiss him stupid.

Childe's not into the whole "swooning maiden patiently waiting for his beloved to swoop down and smooch the daylights out of him" thing. Nah, that's not his style. He's Tartaglia, eleventh of the Fatui harbingers, and he's going to kiss Zhongli right now.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: FUNNY AS HELL. Childe is straight up just trying to plant one on Zhongli but fate and people just keep interfering. It’s a weird trope aversion where the character is actively trying to confess rather than avoiding it but life gets in the way. 

springtime in snezh-nya-ya by miaomaomei

Tartaglia’s body moves before he can even think about it. He arches his back and flattens his ears against his head, baring his teeth in a hiss. Considering he barely even reaches Scaramouche's knees — Scaramouche, of all people! The guy is practically the size of a fourteen-year-old — he doubts that he is cutting as imposing a figure as he hopes.

It isn't a surprise, though. No one could become a Fatui Harbinger if they were scared of a little cat.

OR

Tartaglia is turned into a cat and he goes to Zhongli for help. It goes about as well as expected.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS. This is just pure fluff I swear. Love how Childe is written and the interactions between the two are just ahhhh. A balm on the soul.

Melt by tanktrilby

“My name is Diluc,” he says. A scowl naturally furrows his brow, and Kaeya looks like he wants to laugh.

He’s looking at him through his lashes again, blue eyes teasing and warm. “Diluc,” he says. “A knight in overalls isn’t quite where I thought my preferences would lie, but here we are.”

(or: Kaeya loses his memories and makes some assumptions. Diluc can't honestly tell him that he's wrong.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: As the summary says, Kaeya loses his memories. Diluc plays babysitter for plot reasons. Meanwhile, Kaeya freaks out and has an essential crisis because his instincts freak him out which = angst. Simultaneously, sort of love confessions? 

you are cordially invited by ktenologious

When the Traveler receives a mysterious invitation from a Snezhnayan businessman, they seek out help from the only Snezhnayan they are on good terms with. They decide it is a wonderful idea to go to this business party in the middle of the ocean because, well, what could be better entertainment than watching a Fatui Harbinger at work? It is too bad Childe couldn't come with them...

Meanwhile, the Tsaritsa needs someone to track down the source of a brand new drug at a party on a cruise; it just so happens that she has two Harbingers who specialize in causing chaos and sinking ships. Scaramouche is a sadist and loves this, and Tartaglia... Well, Tartaglia just wants to know why is he the one in the dress again.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, sort of Diluc/Kaeya & Scaramouche/Childe

Notes: Features a crossdressing Childe and Kaeya for plot reasons. Funny as hell. Love Fatui dynamics/interactions. Highly recommend. Go read it. I’m serious. It’s so beautiful, I can’t. Also Zhongli is so love-sick and jealous, it’s hilarious.

The Road to Snezhnaya by paranoid_fridge

Everything's done and over. Now, Zhongli only needs to adjust to living like an ordinary mortal. Or that is what he thinks until a familiar face shows up in Liyue. Teucer comes looking for his brother who failed to return to Snezhnaya on the Fatui ships. And as Childe's declared "friend", Zhongli must help Teucer find him.

Or: Teucer drags Zhongli on a cross-country goose chase looking for Childe. Zhongli just happens to find a bit more along the way.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I have no words for this fic outside of the fact that it is clear that Teucer has the only functioning brain and should be Best Man because he obviously did all the work here. Features an oblivious Childe and overprotective Zhongli, plus bystander Kaeya that is getting allll of the gossip. And also the most destructive group of children ever.

basket of knives by oronine

“I just want to be loved,” Childe says to himself, to whoever is listening. “Is that too much to ask?”

They are on the roof once more, this time Childe’s foot touches the edge of the building as he daydreams of something that cannot be. The sky is blank and cloudy and perhaps Lumine fears it’ll all end when he takes a step.

“Not at all,” she says. It’s still the truth.

Contrary to popular belief, Childe hates his family but loves them all the same.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TW for suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self-harm, depression, etc. Not a light read by any definition. Set in a modern AU, not in the genshin impact universe. Features a Childe that is Not Okay, good friend but also probably traumatized friend Lumine (and her brother Aether), and Zhongli. Family dynamic is messed up as hell and explores mental health quite well in my opinion. I’m not sure how healthy necessarily Childe’s relationships are but I think that’s a given considering the context and how derailed his mental health is in this fic. Definitely angst as heavy, made me tear up quite a bit. Read, but pay attention to the content/trigger warnings as it does get quite explicit.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Ships: Chongyun/Xinqiu

Notes: JFKLFJS I LOVE THIS. I love Chongyun’s characterization and the interaction between all the characters. The dynamic between Chongyun, Xingqiu, and Xiangling are to die for. Also, this line: “Stuck-up Persnickety Bastard.” Random note but Xiao throws Chongyun off a balcony yet is also 100% a softie.

Talks about Nothing by tzitzimeme

In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:

1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it, 2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and 3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Venti/Xiao

Notes: The pure judgment that Guizhong unleashes on Zhongli (as well as her sass in general) is pure comedic gold. The dynamic between Xiao and Venti are also adorable. Meanwhile, Childe misunderstands and also just wants to know what the fuck is going on.

xi wangmu by tzitzimeme

Xiangling scales entire mountains to satisfy the palettes of her two pickiest customers.

(Or, two men who are emotionally stunted by their own immortality inadvertantly turn an overly enthusiastic chef into their messenger pigeon.)

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao (?)

Notes: Not sure if it reads romantic exactly, can definitely be read as platonic. The fic boils down to Xiangling trying to expose Xiao to variety because just eating plain almond tofu is a no no. Zhongli gives advice/uses Xiangling as a messenger pigeon. Backstory is explored!

Falling (Fallen) by asinglecrow

It’s only when Childe finds himself in front of Zhongli, a spear protruding from his stomach, that he thinks oh I might have fucked up.

Or: The worst (best) day of Childe's life.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Funny and lighthearted! Gets sort of NSFW with passing mention of mpreg but otherwise, it’s just pure humor/fluff. Get-together fic featuring deadpan dragon Zhongli and Childe that is just done with everything. 

the louvre by morisuke

Here in Liyue, the air is filled with the ocean, and the sun shines through the mountains like it’s flowing through a crack in the sky. Here in Liyue, there is a man with no wallet at a vending machine that is going to waste the rest of his day showing a stranger around their school campus for a pocket sized can of iced coffee.

It’s interesting here in Liyue, Childe thinks.

or

Where Childe flirts with a stranger at a campus vending machine.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Set in a modern/college AU. This is a relatively quiet, soft kind of story. Childe comes to Liyue because reasons and falls in love quietly. It’s more of a snippet of life type of fic that’s sweet and peaceful. Love the change that comes over Childe as he finds a home.

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[volfoss]

ships to rate: bruabba and gyjo? maybe even yasugap if you're up for it

ok ur about to see such a long post its nto even gonna be funny, tldr i love them all

also gonna put a fic i really like for them if ive read one/ a fic idea i wanna write plus maybe ranting, this is not coherent but my spelling isnt too bad

post under cut bc its very long

Bruabba:

my loves my lifes

they r so soft for each other

the fucking rain scene when bruno extends his umbrella

and how bruno is like trying to hold back his emotions post abba dying

in case its not super obvious by the sheer volume of bruabba content i reblog this is one of my otps

ALSO the fucking boat scene where abba pretty much is like yeah ur home bruno

ajdskjghdsgjk

hc that they r meeting up in the afterlife w nara and having a good time (also read a phenomenal fic about it that ill link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33118039 it is emotionally fucking me up days later <3)

dads dads dads but bruno is the caring dad that just gets you and takes care of you in the most gentle way and will sacrifice himself over and over again to see u happy and abba is the sitting in the armchair and u sneak in like 2 minutes past ur curfew ur busted but i was also worried about you

these two men own my whole heart (also my ao3 history i exclusively am reading bruabba and dadbacchio)

i have so so many thoughts toward them like yeah i just love them so much

i will never ever not write them as in love

t4t and bi4bi

every single canon thing about them makes me so soft but i think what makes me softest is just how its so clear that they rely on each other in situations

fanon interpretation rant rq:

but how some ppl really interpret them so ooc that its just like bruno mommy and abba cares about literally none of their kids (explanation on the mommy thing is bc most of things that do that are weird bc they really r treating bruno like a single parent who is raising the gang on his own and thats all when abba is literally there and caring about ppl (ie the purple haze incident w giorno, like he wasnt the most nice in his wording but why else would he be like hi move away from the danger if he didnt care??)

ppl also just tend to not really do the separation between how abba acts around others and how he acts towards bruno and has him being kinda aggressive towards him for literally no reason when they r literally so soft w each other

and also they r both so fucking pretty and i am in love with them both

if i think about them too long i will combust and i am blaming u solely for that one

ship dynamic of savior x savior bc they both really did save each other and i love them sm

fic ideas for them r they both live and leave passione and take their kids w them <3 (gang would crumble but thats not my problem)

ok also another hc that i have for them is that bruno will buy larger sweaters and wear them and give them to abba if hes having a rough time, they have a shared closet imo

10/10 ship

Gyjo:

OK OK OK

FEELINGS ON MAX

these guys r also my beloved but in a depressed x very happy but hiding depression way

the the fuckingn way that gyro ltierally risks everything in the ringo roadagain fight to save jognny

and the way that johnny is literally fucking broken post gyro persiheing and adopts his speech pattern a bit and ugh

I am obsessed w gyjo but i think the funniest crack ship is poly but w diego and they all fucking suffer (fic that sold me on that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22887796/chapters/54705517)

i cannot find the one fic that i really loved for them but needless to say i am soft w them living and just being together

update i found it: its a modern au and really really sweet! https://archiveofourown.org/works/31821940/chapters/78780595

one day ill actually write the fic idea i had for them which was basically they live and they dont sell the land they got from the sugar mountain arc and johnny wanted to start somewhere fresh anyways and gyro adopts marco and they make a lil log cabin and have a nice rest of their lives

i am a massive sucker for their ship

ALSO how johnny is always laughing at gyros jokes

smth i wish we got more of in canon were those moments where they just chilled and talked and had those kinda interactions

fandom complaining time!! the fucking way that some ppl just really take the gyro funny and johnny submissive trope is like my biggest pet peeve. did they not read sbr?? did they not see the multiple times that johnny has murdery eyes? i think personally its ppl infantilizing him a lot and it makes me really frustrated

ok also a fic that really really fills me desire for a they all live and everyone is happy is this one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812394

i love them sm but unfortunately cannot have coherent thoughts about them :(

10/10 ship

Yasugap:

gonna start this out w saying i did mildly speedread through jojolion so i dont have as many big screamy thoughts

BUT!!! them!!!!!

their canon interactions r the cutest thing and even if they werent, id ship it solely to spite joshu

josuke is a million trillion times better for yasuho (not just bc of how joshu is a fucking freak and is absolutely the worst i would run him over with a dump truck)

i really like how they both r so happy around each other but i think my favorite scene w them is when yasuho has to explain to josuke that hes crying and hes just like :') yeah

but they have so so many cute moments and the ending makes them the only couple to make it out of this list

i love how yasuho is just like willing to drop anything to help him and how they help each other out a lot during the whole time (if im remembering right?)

their dynamic is just 2 sweethearts

also love the moment that hes like look away yasuho :) then proceeds to beat a man up

they r canon (as is everyone else sorry <3)

i dont read a lot of part 8 fic since i need to reread it to properly understand the plot post like chapter 65? so i dont have any recs or complaints

BUT i do have a few hcs!!

i think yasuho would get josuke matching phone straps or phone cases

and when they move in together, i think they would raise sugar gliders (or potentially kidnap squirrels from the local park)

i love all of yasuho and josukes interactions but oh man every time that josukes past gets brought up i do start bawling

they both mean the world to me and how their romance is just built on such a clear foundation of trust and care it makes me so soft

they both give off such dog ppl energy tho and i love that for them

ALSO ok the way that yasuho helps josuke w his memory and is always there for him

i will never ever ever get over them

but i think one of my favorite scenes is the one right at the beginning where she gives josuke his name and how that plays into the rest of the story with him discovering his identity but still clinging to the one that she gave him since it was him, he wasnt just kira or josefumi he was josuke

10/10

if i think about them anymore i will start sobbing, the last chapter wrapped every last thing up so well and im so so glad that it did

[i-need-air]

King & Queen. – Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader.

Summary: Fluff, Baku being extra while confessing, social media shenanigans.

Word count: 1784.

It's 4 AM, I'm a mess but I needed to get this off my chest. I'm testing the waters with my writings, it's been forever since I wrote anything and I wanted to throw myself a little bit into the fandom I've been obsessed with for the past months. I do hope you enjoy it. ♥

Bakugou Katsuki took pride in having such a large following online. Ever since the first year UA Sports Festival, both his Twitter and Instagram accounts got thousands and thousands of followers, mostly crushing over him and others just hating on him, and in both ways he loved the attention.

The Aesthetics™ he had were always on point and his Twitter was just filled with one sentence tweets, re-tweets of famous heroes, a somewhat dry, dark and/or sarcastic meme from time to time, only and only if it fit (again) his aesthetics. Sometimes he'd engage with the Bakusquad, specially Kaminari and Mina, both very active users, and [Y/N], answering to her tweets with a one word roast and little more.

After the second year UA Sports Festival though? His social media reached the 100k mark, skyrocketing into a small celebrity as he won the first place for two years in a row. But what made him reach such a large number was the way he won. Their battle for the first place was insane, such a difference compared to what he had to deal with Todoroki in the past. [Y/N] put an amazing fight, there's no doubt to that, but the woman overused her quirk and he knew her weakness, mostly since he sometimes (rarely, almost never, pft) observed her train with Icy-Hot or Deku. It was a spectacle to watch and it has even been televised for a whole week afterwards, critics applauding how promising UA's students were. And that's how it all started.

The shipping.

Images and even fucking edited music videos of their fight were everywhere. It was so obvious both of them enjoyed the fight, the little grins they shared as they attacked each other, the small comments both threw and the camera and mics everywhere picked, the look Bakugou Katsuki gave [Y/N] when she kicked his ass. Such an adoration, followed by his insane grin, ready for a challenge. The look [Y/N] gave him, as he took the first place medal with pride from Endeavor, thriving at the applauses from the public. Stars were put to shame compared to the sparks in her eyes. Oh, and the moment their orbs made contact exactly after that? The chemistry.

Bakuy/n was one of their names online, apart from variations of their hero names mixed together. The fandom was slowly picking up a name, mostly going with the first mentioned. And Katsuki? He was fucking aware of everything. Her social media was on radio silence, but this event made him think. Actually think, not half-ass an idea and just throw himself head on into it. And the conversation he overheard was just making him plot now.

Mina and [Y/N] were actually discussing this exact topic. The pink girl was thriving for it. Her Twitter account was now filled with subliminal messages about love and it made her poor friend anxious. Basically because this issue hasn't been addressed at all with Bakugou and she planned to keep it that way. Yet Mina, sweet, adorable, loving Mina was just pressing on it really badly, but thankfully she never did when both sides of Bakuy/n were in the same room/conversation.

"Isn't it like so romantic?" Mina's eyes shined, hands clapped, her gaze looking somewhere in the distance, daydreaming.

"No, it's not, it's weird..." her [h/c] haired friend answered, falling more into the couch of their living quarters, trying to hide from the world.

"It would be if it wasn't obvious you pin for each other!"

"Oh, god, please stop saying that."

"You're not denying it though!"

"MINA!"

Laughter coming from the pinkette filled the room as the blond man decided not to interrupt and leave, small grin on his face as [Y/N]'s groans just told him what he needed to hear. She definitely did not deny the attraction and whatever chemistry they had.

Which leads to the current situation.

The girl was sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for Ochaco and Mina to come around, phone in hand as she scrolled mindlessly through Twitter, watching as her most recent tweet, the first one in ages, was getting attention. She giggled at Denki's stupidity, as he just posted a selfie of himself drenched in Diet Coke clearly in the UA bathrooms. Checking his replies she saw the boy she's been [kinda, lowkey, just a lil bit] trying to avoid for the past days.

[@BakugouKatsuki:]

"Dumbass."

[@MissPinky:]

"So THAT'S WHY U NEEDED MINTS!?!!!!!?? 🤣

She giggled again, entertained by her friends when her interactions just exploded. App actually crashed as she blinked while munching on some french fries dumbly.

As she tried to open her app again, both her friends landed by the table, joking about Kaminari and his never ending stupidity. Notifications popped again and again, legit confusing the girl to no end, making her ignore her two friends as they asked her what was going on, mainly because of her expression.

"The hell...?" she muttered, throwing the phone down while Twitter took its sweet, sweet time to load and open and just as she opened her mouth to answer Mina, she made eye contact with some very intense red eyes.

Clasping her mouth shut and ignoring Ochaco as she took [Y/N]'s phone to see what's going on, the girl could only focus on Bakugou, sitting a few tables away, facing her direction. She almost shivered in place under the intensity he was giving away, although his position was laid back, phone in one hand, chin in the other. And, again, gaze on her. He barely even blinked, his neutral expression giving nothing away and she knew she was blushing. Why was she a blushing mess under his gaze? Well, answer was obvious for everyone, even the whole internet now, but oh, she wished Bakugou Katsuki wasn't that sharp. Who are we kidding though?

Ochaco started to shake her out of her daze, interrupting the intense eye contact battle as she shoved her phone in her face.

"Oh. My. God." She muttered, stuttering her following words "Please, look at this, I can't believe it... Mina, check Twitter."

"If Kaminari threw Diet Coke and Mints in one of the bathroom toilets to 'experiment', I'm done with him." Mina responded but froze in place, just as [Y/N] looked away from the explosive boy. "Wait... WAIT!" her eyes almost popped out of her skull. "WHAAAAAAA–?!"

On the screen of her phone was the profile of the guy she's been crushing for... A year now? The guy that at first ignored her, then screamed at her, then beat her ass in training, then got his ass beaten by her, that scoffed at her shitty jokes, that actually chuckled at her shitty jokes, that studied with her, that smiled at her... The guy that complimented her when her quick improved. The guy that took her opinion seriously even when acting like he didn't care. The guy that stole her heart when he showed little glimpses of his complex persona only to her. The guy that fucking retweeted:

[@onlybakuy/nhere:]

"King & Queen."

And a picture attached, them shaking hands after their battle, ready to go get prepared for the podium. Bloodied, sweaty, yet both smiling at each other.

"I can't believe this–[Y/N]–" The brunette started rambling and fangirling besides her, but... With a careful glance, she peeked under her eyelashes to look at the boy again, her heart almost stopping when noticing he was still observing, small grin on his face hidden behind his hand, perfectly angled for her to see. "There's another one!"

Everything started to make sense, as she quickly checked her notifications to see the Internet™ just going crazy over that retweet. People started mass-following her, fans and stans just living for it, tagging her username with a screenshot of the retweet and now it hyped up again with... pictures of his profile? Did he change his description? He... changed his description. While there was absolutely nothing in there, now there was one single word. King.

Her eyebrows just rose so high her forehead hurt, the 3 braincells that were still somehow functioning were catching up to what the hell was going on and now she was positive, 100%, without a doubt that she was blushing like a mad-woman, a smile forming on her lips as she hit the retweet button on the same tweet he did and instantly opening her profile to edit.

Both her friends were freaking out by her side, accusing her of being way too calm in this situation, to explain but [Y/N] knew she couldn't utter any word, or even look up at them or at him. If she did, she'd break the spell, the moment, and as she deleted her description and only wrote a single word in her profile, her smile only widened. Hearing Mina screech after seeing her retweet, the girl giggled like an idiot.

Bakugou Katsuki was loud, brash, maybe a little bit emotionally constipated, rough around the edges, incredibly smart, observing, caring, awful with words but straight to the point with actions. And he was, without a doubt, fucking extra when doing things.

As she pressed the button Save on her profile, she caught him looking at his phone, being patted on the back by Kirishima, that somehow appeared in the frame yet was so distant in her field of vision as only he mattered at the moment. Waiting his reaction patiently and waiting for the internet to start freaking out again, her chest was hurting from the drumming of her heart. Hell, she knew she looked like a disaster with a flushed face, phone gripped so hard in her hand that it could break, a group of girls forming around her, noisy yet so distant. The world going in slow motion, seeing his crimson eyes widen for a fraction of a second, hiding more of his face in the palm of his hand as he still tried to look so casual, Kirishima's "Yeaaaaaaaah!" filled her ears as he tapped his finger on the screen, destination already clear. And when he saw what he needed...

He got up, leaving his tray of food behind, shit-eating grin basically parting the sea of people forming around them both as he marched towards where she was seated, and for the third time they made eye contact. His cheeks flushed, such a boyish expression coveting his normally angry features, mischievous and happy, relieved, just... Perfect.

Everything went in slow motion for her, his march, decisive and bold, as he always was, took to an end as he got to her, just giving her a hand and a raised brow, inviting her to leave with him anywhere but there.

And she took it without hesitation.

[willowcrowned]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @tessiete

Tagging: @mandaloriandy @outpastthemoat @phoenixyfriend

Remember to make a new post!

How many works do you have on AO3?

48, thirteen of which have been made anonymous.

What's your total AO3 word count?

260,698

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3? 12, including Star Wars (obvs), FMAB, Twilight, The Silmarillion, LOTR, Much Ado About Nothing, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Narnia, The Arcana, VLD (yes, I know), Buzzfeed Unsolved.

In my drafts folder? WAY more. (one day I'll finish you post-OoT Link character study... one day..)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Paternal Relations, Leap of Faith, (Arguable) Flirting, To Catch a Serial Killer, and Being an Investigation of Sorts into the Supernatural and the Supernaturally Stupid

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! Not all of them, because that's something I don't have the energy for. (Fic writers who do respond to all comments—I have the greatest admiration for you, and also how the hell do you do it.) I always respond if it's particularly thoughtful or insightful, and I'll usually respond if it's a joke. I don't bother for an emoji or an 'I liked it.'

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Ehm... I don't really do angst. I do have something in my WIP folder that'll end pretty angstily if I ever get around to it. I think my anonymous Narnia or VLD fics? Maybe the anonymous Silmarillion one?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Not as real fic. As not!fics on tumblr? Absolutely. I'm going to go with the fmab/TPM crossover, because that's the silliest one that comes to mind immediately.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I've only ever received "hate" once, and it was the funniest comment I've ever read (not intentionally, unfortunately for them), so I have it screenshotted for when I need a good laugh.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, primarily pwp. I think that emotionally-driven smut that functions as a device for a character study is some of the best, most compelling smut out there. Unfortunately, my smut writing interests lie in a different direction—a hornier one.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but now I feel like I should go check.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Smoking_breath did a russian translation of Paternal Relations!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I'm a bit of a control freak, and very particular about style to boot, so there's really only ben one time I've considered it and it was with someone who I was sharing a braincell with.

What's your all time favorite ship?

Oof. I don't really do OTPs, so I don't have an answer for this.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I hesitate to say never, because there's always a chance I'll come back to it, but I have a Princess Bride AU in my WIPs folder that's nearly done that I probably won't touch. (It needs major rewrites, but I do like the premise, which is that Buttercup decides to vent all her grief via grabbing a sword and whacking at things, so who knows.)

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and humor! I think I've got a really good hold on how to pace writing so that jokes land really well, and I think I'm also pretty good at figuring out where to put dialogue tags and such so a conversation proceeds with the pauses where I want them.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I really struggle with anything character driven. (For context, the last character-driven thing I tried stopped at 20k, but that 20k took me several hundred hours of writing time.) I don't know why that is, but I do know that writing something character-driven is like wrestling with a sugar-crazed five year old covered in oil, and whatever comes out inevitably needs major rewrites. I get a little better every time I try, though! Maybe in thirty years I'll actually be able to do it without giving myself a headache every time I open the doc.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Unless I know the language, I won't do it, and even then I think it can be really dicey. A lot of the time, a foreign language will take me out of the reading experience—not just because it can be hard to understand, but because the author has no idea how people actually use a second language. A really good example of that (and the one I see the most) is pet names.

Unless it makes sense within the context of the characters (e.x. two characters that share a heritage using a pet name from that heritage's language as a means of connecting to each other), I find pet names really take me out of it. I have never in my life been speaking English with someone and then called them a pet name in Hebrew (which, even though I'm not fluent, is the language that I've been called pet names in by my family and is the language I'd use for a pet name). When someone switches languages mid-sentence just to call someone a pet name in a language they don't know, it can read as a little... odd.

Foreign language use gets even dicier when I do speak the language and I can tell that the author doesn't. I've put down fics because they had no clue what they were doing with the Hebrew or the French. If your character is supposed to be fluent and they're making mistakes with gender, then I'm not going to be able to pay attention to the actual story and will instead be trying to format a comment in my head to tell you in the nicest way possible that your grammar is wrong.

So: I don't use it in my fics. I think it can be used to great effect when done right (see: insight into a character's relationship with their past, heritage, etc. (also for comedy, because there's nothing quite like "can you hand me the—the—fuck. The סוכר?" "the sugar?" "oh my god it's the same fucking word in english.")), but on the whole, I'm iffy about it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Technically Avalon: Web of Magic, which I did in fourth grade with a friend. We didn't know what fanfiction was though, so I'm not sure if it counts.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I'm quite fond of Smoke Raised with the Fume of Sighs right now, but more as something I'm enjoying writing than something I'd like reading. It's my first real foray into posting as I go, and it's the first time I've done chapetered fic in a while. It's also great fun, character-wise.

Other than that, I still very much enjoy Paternal Relations. It's got some fun lines.

[critical-hazbin]

Helluva boss and Hazbin Hotel, to me, is all pretty visuals and songs, not that much interesting characters/story. Like Promare, but more cartoony.

Which unfortunately leads to the fanbase making up large parts of the personality, which... Egh, might lead to some unwanted places.

Alastor is supposed to be Aro/ace, guys— and as Aro myself, the idea that he wants to fuck Charlie, or Vaggie or Angel or whoever feels EXTREMELY erasing—

The visuals and songs are a big draw for audiences, but Vivzie did say in a stream that the show was supposed to be about the characters' relationships with each other. However, I don't think the show is going to be very character-focused, going off of what we've seen so far.

This is an area where we might have to agree to disagree. As an asexual who isn't aromantic, I don't have a problem seeing Alastor shipped with various characters. It doesn't bother me at all. There are aroace people in the fandom who ship him in all sorts of different pairings. It's not erasure to me because aro/ace is a spectrum. There are aroace people who get married and have children, who are demi, who don't feel romantic attraction but still want a relationship. I could actually see Alastor getting into a QPR, if the creator chose to go that route.

Everyone's experience is different, of course, and if you don't want to see Alastor in a relationship of any kind that's perfectly valid. But a million pieces of fanart are never going to erase a canon identity. And it definitely doesn't make our representation in Alastor any less real.

As for your second part, I'm not sure what's hard to believe about Hell being a hellhole. The anarchy and territorial warfare we see in Hell is the natural result of having too many people fighting over limited resources. There are likely few opportunities for advancement in careers (as is typical in caste systems), so sinners resort to fighting over land to make a name for themselves.

Hell doesn't seem to be in a state of complete anarchy, or else it would be a headache for Lucifer. There are probably some rules and consequences. But Lucifer clearly doesn't care about his subjects killing each other with angel weapons in endless territorial warfare as they fight for overlord positions or just more status. Maybe he even finds the fights entertaining. Hell doesn't seem to have been designed to maximize punishment. Instead, it's a place where terrible people are all dumped together and their punishment is having to deal with each other and be subject to their judgement.

Counterpoint: Maybe Lucifer established the idea of becoming an overlord through gaining territory so that the sinners would fight among themselves for land instead of fighting him.