#i have no idea who'd win that fight

[bluesgras]

I'm betting on leo winning ngl

@tmntaucompetition

Never Better by @less-depresso-more-espresso

Teenage Mutant Neglected Turtles by @nerves-nebula

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[burr-ell]

A Not-Necessarily-Exhaustive List of Good Moments from C1 1-27:

"I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing"

"We're here to right wrongs, and right lefts—" "And write comment cards"

Tiberius Kraghammer

Clarota

"We'll explain later. You're on the roof of Osama bin Laden's house"

"We'll be taking your weapons, your armor, and I believe your pride"

Percy making the first trick arrows for Vex after a shopkeep was a dick to her about arrows, which is canonically when she began to fall for him

Keyleth killing that one duergar from the TLOVM flashback

"I encourage violence"

Lady Kima being freed and then pulverizing the corpse of the duergar who'd been torturing her

Matt's fucked up body horror monsters

Scanlan taking a dump on a bed for the first time

Pike's crisis of faith when she slits a duergar's throat with her mace and her holy symbol breaks

When the limited T-shirt run went live and then sold out before Marisha could finish reading the announcement

Vax getting his foot burned off in lava

Scanlan the Kingslayer

"Can I use my Luck feat for this?" "You don't have any feet left"

Kima and Keyleth's argument (it was good, haters eat my shorts)

The origin of The Cube

"I'm Vax that's Vex ->" "I'm Vex that's Vax <-"

"Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated!"

"He has three-quarters cover" "I ignore three-quarters cover :)" "...then fuckin' fire!"

"Some people have no sense of fucking honor!"

Travis's notes that just say "I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota"

Percy reacting to the Briarwoods being namedropped during a council meeting

Meeting Gilmore on-stream for the first time

The Belt of Dwarvenkind and Grog's obsessive attempts to grow a beard

Scanlan's blue-shit-scrying potion

Grog "Philip" Strongjaw vs Kern

Vax giving Minxie!Keyleth a belly rub

The hydra fight and the beef with the Slayer's Take

Episodes 18 and 19, in their entirety, but specifically:

Zahra and Vex's initial rivalry-turned-friendship-turned-"I have a crush on Zahra"

Lyra. She's just. so much. idk of what but she is it

"I'm wearing the pajamas with the buttflap and the buttflap is down. The buttflap is DOWN"

Scanlan introducing himself to Rimefang as Burt Reynolds and then Matt, in his scary dragon voice, calling him "Burt"

"I'm sorry, I'm a genius, I'm sorry! Oh, god I'm clever!"

Zahra killing Rimefang

Percy and Vex working together on a history check (it's important To Me)

Wil Wheaton rolling five Nat 1s. In one session

Keyleth and Vax posing as a married couple to get information

Kash insight-checking Thorbir, believing he has to be actively sabotaging them because no one could possibly be that bad at their job (he's not, he really is just that unlucky)

Wil, playing a dwarven fighter, finally rolling a nat 20...for an insight check

The magic carpet losing its enchantment in a pit of acid and Laura's scream of horror from offscreen

"Rakshasaaaaaaa!" -jazz hands-

Kashaw and Keyleth, which was thankfully reworked in TLOVM but was also hilarious

Vex exasperatedly kissing Grog, portrayed by Laura kissing a bewildered Travis

Tyriok the cartographer

Grog, the Vasselheim merchant, and the first and only time Vex started beef with a retailer

Keyleth recounting a vision she had of her own death

The Aramente trial in Pyrah and a cameo from Thordak

Travis getting a medal from a fan for losing to Kern and Matt making it canon

Grog fighting Kern again and winning

Keyleth getting arrested. For the second time in Vasselheim alone

The first appearance of the man. The myth. The Viktor

Kynan's first appearance and Vax's idea of "tough love"

Percy telling his backstory to the party and them immediately affirming their support for him ("You don't have to get involved in this" "Oh, we are SO involved" "You said you wanted 'em dead!") and Taliesin himself being moved to tears over this

Percy creating Diplomacy

Vax and Keyleth bear-sitting Trinket and braiding pink ribbons into his fur

Gilmore finding out Vax wants to see him and teleporting in from half a continent away

Vax shaving half of Grog's beard and Travis breaking a mechanical pencil with one hand

The feast, where Percy actually threatens the Briarwoods to their faces while disguised as Vax

Vax and the Briarwoods. "Gosh you guys are good-looking"

Vax nearly dying and having a vision of the two people he cares about most: Vex and Keyleth

Sylas jumping out the window and doing a perfect 3-point landing...while Delilah blows the athletics check and faceplants in the dirt

"SYLAS"

Vex scoring two crits on Delilah

Tiberius getting Feebleminded

Percy's attack on Desmond. My horrid little skrunkly <3

"YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT! DIE! DIE!" and Keyleth skipping her turn to just stare at Percy

Vox Moochina

Keyleth taking charge to save the ember roc

Keyleth conjuring a water elemental and Taliesin gargling water to translate her commands to it

And finally, the conversation between Keyleth and Percy where he privately confesses his own worries that he's going dark and that he's afraid of himself, and she expresses her concern for him and promises to be there for him

anyway c1 good

[lullabyes22-blog]

Snippet - The Breakup - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Vi makes a tough call.

Caitlyn is not having it.

Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

"So," Caitlyn says, at last. "That's it. You're going back."

Vi nods. "I have to."

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes."

"And me?" The glisten in her eyes becomes an angry gloss. "What will I do, Vi? Pine by Monday? Get over you by Friday? Meet some nice noblewoman in a match my mother's arranged, and settle down? Win an illustrious succession of medals—and forget you ever existed?"

Vi's jaw hardens. "That's the idea."

"You won't even fight for it?"

"I am." Vi's hands ball into fists. "That's why I'm going."

Caitlyn's lips part. There are tears now. But the brightness of anger refracts them, a prism of blue fire.

"You coward," she whispers.

Vi blinks.

"You selfish bloody coward! Do you think I can't see this fucked-up nobility for what it truly is? This is our life. We've made a choice. A promise to be together. And you're just going to walk away?  Well, fuck you, Violet. Fuck you, and your stupid, reckless, idiotic, chivalrous heart. You think, because of everything you've gone through, you're the only one who gets to call the shots? You're the only one with something to lose? Well, you're wrong. I'm losing you, and you're giving me no choice!"

"You've always had a choice!"

Vi's own anger breaks loose. Any other day, she'd applaud the supreme ease with which she's being verbally trounced by a girl who has never dropped a single preposition from her speech, and is now cursing with the fluency of a Fissure-born miner. She'd snatch Caitlyn up and kiss her, then lay her on the table and fuck her within an inch of her life.

She'd be glad. More than that: grateful. Because this woman, who is grace in every sense, chose her. Chose, and made the crashing lows and spiraling highs of Vi’s life her own.

But today is not another day. Not for either of them.

"The only reason we met," Vi grits out, "was because you had a choice. You chose to break the rules. To play vigilante and go down to the Fissures.  Because you believed you were right. And with your family's connections, who'd argue otherwise?" She emits a short laugh. "Me? I was in a fucking cell. No trial, no papers. No choice. You think I was the one making the call? Hell, no. My ass was on the line, and I'd have sold you any line of bullshit, just to get a crack at Silco. Because that's who I am. That's how I've lived. I knew what I was getting into, I understood the consequences, and I accepted them—"

"—And, what? I was blindsided? Poor little Piltie, who didn't know the game? Who thought, with enough money, she could bend reality—"

"Yes! Fucking hell, Caitlyn! That's exactly what you are!" Vi's voice is ripped raw. "You've never had to look over your shoulder. You've never had to take a beating. Never had to watch the people you care about get shot or stabbed or killed. Your family has a title and a pedigree and a shitload of cash. You'll have that safety net your entire life. You can walk away whenever you want because this isn't your world—"

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I rant and rave about DiscoPunk performing and making albums and voguing together - but let the record show,

DiscoPunk goes fucking NUTS on Dance Dance Revolution

Pavitr and Gayatri are casuals that have a go on it at the arcade during their date nights 😊

For Miles and Gwen, it's a cute way to bond and tease each other, getting to know each other better and tripping over their collective four left-feet (You'd think Gwen would have the rhythm considering she's a dancer AND a drummer - but fam, Ballet is NOT the same as DDR)

But to DiscoPunk, this shit is NOT a game. To them DDR is a goddamn lifestyle.

Keep them away from that arcade cabinet because by God, they're here to wreck that shit. Bout to shake the whole place with it.

They're DDR Champions.

And that's ON TOP of Hobie's numerous Pac-Mac Champion wins, and his Space Invaders High-Score at the top of the credits list.

If you ever see the initials 'DSC0PNK' on a DRR machine? THAT'S THEM.

They play on EXPERT. They're not half-assing it. They're doing the arm motions and all

They're the couple that dance facing away from the screen, just to stunt on everyone there.

The ones that hop and switch dancepads with each other mid-song for fun.

Hobie's in his big-ass boots meanwhile Diane has on flip-flops. Neither are proper footwear for the intense athleticism they are engaging in. They do not care.

They only way they get away with it is telling Miguel they're 'Training'.

Of course Miguel knew that had to be a crock of bullshit. One afternoon that use that excuse.

Miguel lets them off the hook, but as soon as they leave, he asks Lyla - "They're making out or something, aren't they?"

And Lyla has to be the one to tell him. '....No, they're actually 'training'...'

Miguel raises an eyebrow. "For some reason, I'm not sure I believe you."

Lyla sighs. She pulls up the surveillance footage on Miguel's screen to show him that no, they are not making out, they're just hogging the fucking arcade machine in some Camden arcade going fucking nuts on a Dance Dance Revolution machine.

Miguel takes one look at them and thinks 'Fucking Boomers'

They take it so seriously. TOO seriously.

They'll fist-fight with any couple and even THINKS about clearing their high-score. Seriously, they're about to brawl with Felicia and Flash Thompson of Earth-1294 cause they topped their record-breaking High Score on Aqua's 'Barbie Girl'

- and now Diane and Hobie are training to beat their high score in Smile.dk's 'Butterfly'.

That's their together time.

Hobie can't dance for the fucking life of him but he CAN hit every single arrow on that screen eyes closed. And Diane has never touched a video game in her life - not even Tetris - but this ISN'T a game it's a COMPETITION goddamnit.

They just love being completely in synced with each other, they have full conversations while playing levels.

Hobie even learned how to hack it, so he could upload all kinda songs to the thing.

And when they play AGAINST each other, EVEN BETTER.

Jesus Christ almighty. The TRASH TALK.

Swinging limbs are each other to throw them off, sticking out their hands to cover the other one's screen.

DEATH GLARING at each other because yes Diane loves Hobie but she's not about to let him embarrass her up on this arcade, are you kidding me???

She's like "Think you can keep up with me, toothpicks?" (He has toothpicks for legs 😭😐)

"Who'd of thought the 'Disco Diva' would be 200 points behind, yeah?"

Do you understand? Do you see it???

DISCOPUNK Dance Dance Revolution

Miles and Gwen staring at them like 'Why are they so cute at everything!!!!! Why do our friends keep out-cute-ing us!!!'

Meanwhile Pavitr and Gayatri are secretly planning to take their title.

For three weeks straight, all you'll hear is Hobie and Diane yelling about the mysterious 'GP4E' duo that took down their score.

Little do they know that stands for 'Gayatri + Pavi 4Ever' (Pavi's idea, of course)

Now.. They must train.

There's an anomaly in 234? Who the hell cares!!! The arcade machine just got Cascada 'Everytime We Touch'!!!! THEY'RE BUSY!!!!!

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Also, having Africa and conservation as a joint interest was a mistake.

One of the recent books (I think it was Courtiers by Valentine Low) seemed to imply that the grey suits thought this too. The way they "solved" the problem was for William to take one track in it and for Harry to take another, but then another issue cropped up: the brothers had very different ideas on how to work in that area. The specific example used was conservation. William is focused more on long-term sustainable ideas developed and being led by local experts. He lends the charity or the people his starpower to raise awareness for them. Harry is more focused on the quick wins and things he can do for the charity that raises his profile (which is problematic in and of itself because this is the colonizer viewpoint, IMO).

The brothers' different perspectives caused some fighting between them, especially when it came to which charities in the mutual causes they would support. Apparently there was a row over who'd get the Tusk patronage, which eventually led the grey suits to abandon the plan of joint interest by splitting the causes: William got conservation and the conservation charities while Harry got the military and veteran support charities. It was agreed that their individual "brands" would focus on these separate efforts but from time to time, William would do work with the military and veterans but it would never be on the same scale as Harry's work, while Harry could still do work in conservation but never on the same scale as William's work and never in the same areas that William was working in, which tended to be more about anti-poaching and endangered species. This led to Harry adopting "Africa" because it sidestepped William's work.

There were some attempts to give Harry a different region-Australia was a contender-but he wasn’t my interested.

[rouecentric]

I just want romantic yandere Derrick and romantic yandere Vinter to be love rivals for me? If it's too much, feel free to decline, thanks in advance.

DERRICK ECKHART VS VINTER BERDANDI

Derrick eckhart and vinter berdandi being love rivals / romantic, yandere / tw manipulation, hallucinations, isolation, drugging, violence, kidnapping, forced marriage, death, implied reader being forced to have children, victim blaming.

derrick eckhart, the eldest son of the duke and apparent heir to the duchy, and vinter berdandi, a magician and marquis, somewhat of an odd duo to be fighting over someone's love.

the person who'd "win" your love is honestly based on who you interact with more. such as, if you interact with vinter too much, derrick would kidnap you and force you into marrying him.

even though if you interact with derrick a lot, he'll eventually get the wrong idea that you're into him and will still force you into marrying him. a lose-lose situation.

if you want to be happy and content with who you'd be spending time with for the rest of your life, vinter is the best choice, he's not as violent as derrick, but isn't above manipulating you or isolating you from everyone but him.

derrick is a cruel and violent man, he won't stop until he gets what he wants, even if it means beating you into obedience so you wouldn't run away. he isn't above breaking your legs and mind, too.

how would derrick and vinter try to get your attention? well, derrick is wealthy and pretty arrogant, so he'd gift you lavish things. but vinter would use magic to entertain you, having various conversations with you too.

if you want to go with the safest option, choose vinter, he's very against physically harming you, unlike derrick who'd physically hurt you if you as much were one foot away from the house.

if you don't want children, tough luck man. vinter might be more understanding, but derrick is practically inclined to have children to continue the eckhart bloodline.

if you want to have children, but can't due to certain problems, vinter doesn't mind adopting children! i don't know about derrick, though.

vinter's punishments are more mentally and emotionally damaging, he'd hesitantly lock you in an empty room, either drugging you or using magic to make you think you're hallucinating. vinter would gaslight and blame you after it.

derrick's punishments are much more physical and mentally damaging, as you'd either be beaten or starved in a cold, tiny room.

you'll have more freedom with vinter, as he'd only isolate you if you were to break a rule, otherwise you can pretty much walk around with him and the orphan kids on the streets.

but with derrick, you'll always feel isolated, everyone you get close to a bit too much (derrick's words, not mine) will "mysteriously" dissapear. the only human interaction you can get is from derrick or your ladies in waiting.

[writerofadream]

Fortune favors the Bold ⛓

TDI!Duncan x Juvie Bestfriend! Reader ⛓

Chapter Seven: Dodgeball to the death

You all had been sleeping absolutely terribly the past couple days because Harold fucking snores. So at breakfast, Duncan was trying to eat but could barely move, and you had passed out in your porridge. "Duncan, you look like death dude." Chris's overly cheerful voice rang out.

"Sick it." Ducan hissed before putting his head down on the table. Courtney explained their predicament.

"Wow, four nights without sleep. How much is she hurting dude, how much are you hurting dude? I kinda want to test how far it takes to break, you both." Chris smiled like a maniac. "Want to find out?" Duncan hissed.

Instinctively your whole group hid under the table, getting used to Duncan's anger. But one small snore coming out of your mouth quieted him.

Then Harold walked in with a drawn on mustache on his face causing the place to erupt with quiet giggles.

"That was me!" You raise your hand lazily. Heather began to taunt your team, causing you to throw a knife at her pinning her hair to the wall. "Get your attack dog under control." Heather yelled terrifed trying to get her hair unstuck.

"She don't bite." Duncan waved her off. You smiled weakly flipping her off. "Yes she do!" Heather screamed.

Chris walked in then. "Listen up campers, your next challenge starts in ten minutes, and be prepared to bring it." He announced as you tipped over onto Duncan passing out.

-----

You were playing dodgeball. Everyone had already gotten to the little ring, but Duncan was trudging behind. Once he walked inside he pointed at you looking mildly pissed off. "If you wake me up, it'll be the last thing you do, L/N." You rolled your eyes. Whenever Duncan was tired he got angry.

"This is all your fault, you know?" Courtney hissed at Harold.

Chris explained the rules making it seem harder then it needed to be. You were okay at dodgeball, it was basically like a prison riot. Chris gave you one minute to discuss strategies. Apparently Courtney could read your mind because she said-

"There is no way we are having Little Miss Crazy play. She'll kill them and get us disqualified." The girl whined and you growled. "Don't call me crazy." You hissed dangerously pissed as you stalked over and sat down by Duncan.

The games went on and your team got decimated by the Screaming Gophers. You weren't surprised. Yet, Courtney persisted with her idea of not having you play. So you watched.

You watched as Harold got his ass beat by LeShawna, Heather beat Tyler's ass, Courtney beg for a disqualification, DJ hit poor Gwen, it was a very interesting expierence.

Cody pulled a wild ass move out of his fucking ass. It looked impossible but he used the ball as a boomerang. Everyone was getting pissed on your team, yet Courtney persisted.

You played with Duncan's hair as he slept, and he subconsiously leaned into your hand, mumbling in his sleep. Whenever the other was close, the nightmares seemed to stop. It was... helpful. So when everyone was out on your team... again. Courtney gave this speech. "We need someone, tough, someone who wants to beat the other team to death." Everyone looked at Duncan and you.

"He'll kill us if we wake him up." DJ whispered his fears. "He won't kill us... I hope. He wants to win just as much as us." Courtney sighed not looking so sure. "Now wake him up, Y/N." She ordered. "Why me?" You laughed. "Your the only one who'd stand a chance against him in a fight." She explained and you shrugged. Made sense.

You pushed Duncan off the bench and he stood up growling. "You better have a good reason for pushing me off the bench, pincess." He nearly yelled in your face making you take a step back. "We're down two to zero. If we lose I'm going to make sure it's your ass that gets voted off, sunshine." You yelled back, making him retreat now. He may be your bestfriend, but your fucking Y/N L/N, you don't back down for shit.

He finally realized what was happening around you. "This is dodgeball, why don't you just play, you destroyed the boys last year at the anual game?" He sounded more confused then mad now. "That what's I'm saying, but miss goody two shoes thinks I'll lose my shit." You pointed at Courtney. "That's what I'm here for?" He pointed at himself.

"That's what I said!" You laughed.

"My only condition is that Y/N's co-captain. We both play, or no one plays." He explained to Courtney who nodded. "Here's a stratagey I picked up on our first visit to juvie."

You laughed remembering the event.

"It's called: rush the new guy." Also known as the first time Duncan got his ass beat in juvie rendering him with a broken collarbone and a double concussion. In shorts terms, you all converge on one person while playing dodgeball.

Soon enough you were dominating the game.

It had gotten to the point where it was 2 wins to 2 wins. This was the final game, to decide who won. It went from five players on both sides, to four, three, then two. It was a neck and neck game.

Then it was Harold vs Owen. "Well I can't say it was nice knowing him." You muttered. "Good night, Harold." Duncan sighed squeezing your hand.

But somehow the ginger dodged every ball thrown at him. "Where'd you learn to do that?" Geoff asked the boy. "Figure skating." He replied proudly. "Figures." Duncan shaked his head. Courtney told Harold he was going to have to catch the next ball thrown at him.

Which miraculously, he did.

Your team erupted into cheers. People hugged, but Duncan twirled you before bringing you back into his arms. "Wake me up again and I'll fight you, L/N." He whispered smiled kissing the top of your head. "I'd like to see you try, tiger." You smiled kissing his cheek causing the boy to blush.

You guys were getting closer by the second.

---

|Trending on X right now|

#THEYAREINLOVEYOURHONOR

#thetension-ican't-

#christmas!twodaysaway!

#covid19

#itdontbitememeswithduncanandy/n

--------

"Nice dodge skater nerd." Duncan 'complimented' Harold as you and DJ carried him on your shoulders cheering his name.

----

If you had asked Courtney, or the twin bestfriends, or Bridgette where you had fallen asleep they would've lied straight to your face and said in a bathoom.

If you had asked Geoff, Harold, or DJ where Duncan had fallen asleep they would've lied and said by the lake. In reality there was two people fast asleep their bodies entangled on Duncan's bed.

Duncan layed flat on his back with an arm as an extra pillow, and your head layed out on his chest, your hair falling down your back. You both were fast asleep, he had his hand sleepily playing with your hair twirling it around in his fingers and you had your hands attached to his shirt twisting it in your sleep.

Duncan wouldn't mind.

He never minded when it came to you.

[real-sun-wukong-fan01]

Hello! I hope you're doing well so far into this month. I really like your Time Swap AU, especially with chaos gremlin SWK. Question: if Canon Macaque were to meet TW SWK, how would they react to each other? Who'd win in a fight between them, pre s3 and post s3? Macaque definitely is more powerful and dangerous than his TW counterpart, but TW SWK has no such attachment to Macaque the same way his canon counterpart did, thus he would have no reason to hold back in the usual fight-to-the-death match Macaque would initiate, so I'm putting my money on SWK coming out on top. How would the canon Monkie Crew react to Time Swap's story of their version of LBD arc and SWK's possession, given that TW JTTW fam had no idea of their SWK's daily demon fighting hero activities until LBD's takeover? And the fact that SWK wasn't even going after LBD, but was still taken over by her after she went after him instead?

I hope I'm not bothering you with these asks. I am truly intrigued by the differences between it and canon one. Eat your fruits and vegetables!

AYY!! no hours of sleep so if I miss something or if something doesn't make sense, you can ask again !! I'll make it more clear.

Also you're not bothering!

Alright, so,

1) TW! Swk would just be confused, not much of a reaction since he doesn't know or recognize the guy. Maybe some resemblance to his macaque, but nothing else.

lmk! Macaque though would recognize wukong because the two versions aren't that different. TW is just taller because he's a "human", and has no tail.

So, macaque would be confused and kinda taken back, and TW wouldn't really care unless he's an obstacle or a foe.

now, depending on the season, tw can either win or not. Before S3 for sure tw would have a lot of struggling with macaque. One has way more experience in fighting and using powers than the others.

After S4 wukong might outmatch macaque, he has better controls on his powers, and with s4 he is even more powerful.

and.. macaque might be struggling because of bad memories TW wukong might give him with his powers and him not holding back.

2) the time swap au version is way different, in the show at least, because unlike in lmk, where possessing wukong was her being desperate, in TW possessing wukong was part of her plan. (Kind of like Bai he, he was possessed while he was alone, and it wasn't until he showed up possessed that the others found out.)

so, they might hate lbd way more with it, because despite it being wukong being possessed, this wukong is basically just a poor "human" who is dragged into this mess, forced to fight his own family.

Lmk! Swk would make sure his own counterpart is really okay, he can understand the possession part more than anyone.

The TW jttw fam instead would want to check on lmk wukong because he willingly went after lbd, and in their eyes, it's still their brother/son, so.

(wukong will cry later because those are his dead companions bro.)

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Okay, okay, I have one more drabble idea, Mary, before I'll try to sleep regarding that it is almost midnight. What about Riven and reader (girlfriend/fiancée/wife/whatever) waking up or just them being soft with each other during practice?

yes absolutely I may do that

um. in hindsight. I may have forgotten about the "soft" part- like. entirely. also tell me if this is cringe because I genuinely can't tell and that's making me cringe

"You suck", you shouted, your hands cupping your mouth, grinning. Riven was fighting, practising, kicking his opponent's ass. And yet you couldn't not mock him a little. If it were the other way around, he would too.

He tripped the other guy up, making him land on the ground, almost kissing the mud. Riven didn't even look at him, only turned around and shielded his eyes from the sun, his spear in the other hand.

"Prove you're better", he challenged, pointing the tip of it right at you. You raised your eyebrows.

"Think you can beat me?", you smirked, grabbing your own spear and stepping closer to him. Riven laughed.

"In a heartbeat."

So you advanced. And he blocked. And then he advanced. And you blocked.

You had always been pretty evenly matched. It had always been a question of who'd had the better day, or who had the wind on their side, or who was quicker to distract the other one. Not who was stronger, not faster, not smother in movement.

You sparred for minutes. And the minutes after that too.

Your breath came heavy, quickly in the end, and you could feel your heart thumping against your chest.

Fighting Riven was the most challenging of fights - exactly because both of you knew that you couldn't win in the usual, the fair way.

"You can give up anytime", you got out between gritted teeth. He raised his eyebrows.

"Give up?", he repeated with a laugh. "In your dreams."

He pushed forward and you danced back a step, ducking as his spear went wooshing over your head.

"No need to try and kill me", you muttered, bringing yours down to his knees. He dodged it. Effortlessly.

"Try?", he panted. "If I tried, you'd be dead."

"You don't even believe that yourself", you laughed breathlessly, setting one foot closer to him than you'd wanted to. You stumbled, for just a second, caught yourself again just in time to avoid his spear. Instead of pulling back, you took another step closer. He advanced - you blocked. This time in mid-air between the two of you, pushing your spear against his.

Up so close, you could feel his breath. See the twinkle in his eye - though, really, twinkle was a euphemism. It wasn't bloodlust either, that again would be an exaggeration. But he got a strange sense of satisfaction from his training. Anger, rage, just as well, yes. But that satisfaction was always there. Because he was good at this. Because he'd always been searching for something to be good at.

Internally, you sighed.

This was getting you nowhere. Neither of you.

Time to play dirty.

"Riven", you said, straining to hold up your defense. He raised his eyebrows once more today.

"Finally giving up?", he asked, grinning, even though you could see the pearls of sweat at his temples. You rolled your eyes at him.

"Never."

Instead, you leaned forward. And gave him a kiss.

Not one of those peck-on-the-cheek things, no. Not a hollywood-like romantic finish. Not even a sloppy-make out-session in the corner of a bar.

No, he tasted of sweat and salt and smoke, and your neck hurt from how much you had to lean in to kiss him.

You took one hand from your spear to put it on his jaw, pull him closer. The pain in your neck eased just the slightest.

Oh, you should've done this way sooner.

He let one of his arms sneak around your waist, the two spears pressed uncomfortably into your chests.

"Riv", you mumbled, pulling back. His eyes looked hazy when he opened them again. "Surrender and I'll let you take me to your dorm right now."

He let out a deep chuckle, sizing you up quietly for a second. You waited. There was no loser either way, but the facts were just this: both of you were ambitious. Neither of you liked to lose a fight. And both of you would tease whoever gave up for at least a week.

"Fuck", he growled, grabbing the one hand you still had around your spear. "You're hot."

He pushed his spear into your hand. Surrendering. The grin on your lips grew.

"Loser", you whispered, pulling away, holding both of the weapons up over your head as you turned and ran, chanting 'loser, loser, loser', his laugh following you over the field.

[fruit-salad-ship]

Monster Rome AU

I woke up to an overwhelming amount of ideas from y'all, and i love it.

-------------

I think i really like the minotaur grey idea, i keep mulling over other options for him and it just doesnt suit as well, gives me Ferdinand vibes, a mean looking huge monster of a creature, who just wants to sit under a tree and feel the breeze and get pets and love. Also then we can branch into the whole 'someone goes to slay him' story, Grey tries not to fight, cant help it to survive and ends up becoming feared when hes actually very docile, rince and repeat story line.

This is where plum comes in, I 1000% cant see her as anything other than a full blown godess, her energy, her demeanour, everything about her point to a deity. She is kind and calm and finds humans fun little things to intervene with, perhaps a little mischevious, somewhat of a trickster but never with harmful things, more just little pranks. She sees Grey is lonely and sad, and feels for the creature, perhaps she made him, perhaps she knows who did, and they didnt accoutn for his gentle heart. But she does. She sees he's stuck in a loop of vioence and needs to be freed, but she cant do it, she's got to send a champion to meddle.

Enter demigod peach, a very tired, very well trained fighter, who simply wishes for the same thing, peace and quiet. I'd like to think years of fighting and a slow aging process make her wise but worn out, totally burnt to the very end of her wick from fighting endless battles, perhaps even other gods messed with her to make her a champion to battle things she never wanted to fight. Almost a puppet in some game, she doesnt have any control of her choices, and its made her very jittery and uncertain in social settings, kind of a massive nervous introvert, despite her skill level.

She's been crushing on plum for ages, but thats a literal god, and Peach is just some little fragment of one, not even someone who'd catch her attentions. She gives up that attempt to win a shred of plum's attention without even starting, its destined to fail, shes a tired, worn out scarred and nervous person with nothing to offer, she knows that Plum's out of hr league, so much so she's not even playing the same sport. But when the goddess she looks so fondly towards asks her for a favour, to go and free the minotaur trapped away, she does it for once with a bit more enthusiasm, Plum asked kindly, she wasnt pushy or bossy like the others, and that gentle touch was enough to make Peach (dare she say it) eager to help. At first theres a mix up, peach thinks "freed" meant kill, thats what shes known for, its why they ask her to perform such dangerous tasks so often, but she see's Grey sat somewhere quiet making something, he's intelligent, and kind, and curious, so she doesnt take out her sword. Grey's instinct after many years of being targeted is to lash out, but Peach doesnt retaliate, and he slowly realises this one is different. They become fast friends, he shows her all the things hes made in his isolation, he's actualy rather inventive, with a fine eye for craft.

The pair start to fight together, he swears his sword to her, and she's...a little taken back by this but fine, if he's sworn to help her he can leave his current location and prison, he's technically freed if her orders are to live and enjoy more. Besides, she too has travelled and worked alone for many years, maybe some company would be nice, especially company that likes the same stuff as she does. She finds he likes a good scratch on the neck, and doesn tmind her putting little briads in his hair. They have a petience for anything nature based, sitting and watching birds, or making cool carvings from wood, finding interesting rocks or spotting a deer out in the forests. It's like they were cut from the same cloth. Peach never got on with humans, and the gods were out of reach or if they did pay attention to her it was never for good reasons, always taking from her, and she only ever recieved trauma in return or a new scar, or a new level of fear and exhaustion. Other demigods like her often came off arrogant or entitled, they had more favour with the gods more often than not so they felt better than her. She never found her people, but maybe her person was a monster? A very kind one.

We also get to have some low key fun with a little monster fucking going on there. because why not, for the spicy side of this all. both of them are total outcasts, covered in battle damage, who find common ground in the soft touches and gentle moments. Things neither have much experince with.

plum becomes very fond of this little demigod whos done as shes asked and then some, how Peach had gone unseen for so long is a question she'll ask the other gods sometime, she cant even find out which god is her relative, its been redacted, no one will speak of her, as if Peach is taboo, and everything she came from is too. Perhaps she's some secret disgrace, or maybe an heir to something far bigger than she ever could have imagined. For a demigod she shows incredible strength and resilience, things that have killed others like her almost slide off her back. Whatever she is, wherever she came from, shes less human than others would like to say, and her lowley status despite this means theres certainly a secret to be found there, someones not telling the truth here. Plum would 100% dig for more on this strange little demigod, and start asking questions about her that get her called up by far more important gods who tell her to stop sniffing around, that Peach is a child of a disgraced match, nothing more, they do not speak of her. Plum doesnt believe it, shes too strong, holds no power amongst her own despite that, she should be high ranking, well renown, in a better position, and yet. Bottom of the pile, essentially thrown away. Plums got to know the truth.

Perhaps its a child of prophecy situation, but Peach is clueless, she just gets orders, and her and Grey go off to do the jobs. Plum gives them as much protection as she can, and at every point possible, spends time with them, theyre sweet and compelling, and she can sense Peach is totally nervous around her, its very sweet for someone so big and tough. Grey loves this god, he finds out she was the one that got him out, and becomes a big soft puppy of a monster with her, brings her little trinkets, makes her stuff, shares his stories which plum loves, all the while peach is quiet, more so than normal, polite and kind but very stoic, her personlaity reverts to how she behaves with all the other gods, theyre above her, she retreats in on herself, doesnt make eye contact, doesnt argue, doesnt express opinions, just shuts up and behaves. Plums nice but shes still a god, and peach has been subject to their wrath a few times too many to push her luck here. Shes simply happy that nothings gone wrong, and that Plums not quick to anger, her old crush on this woman gets shoved down and she just plays the part handed to her. Just some lowley half human who has no place to even look her way, that she gets to sit with someone so special is in itself a gift.

Grey doesnt seem to have the same fear peach does, nor the reserved behaviour, in fact he picks up when plum is around, gets excited and jolly, this is a kind lady and he likes her attention, wishes his dear friend would feel the same. Notices Peach just shuts down a lot, never brings it up, just tries to include her when this happens, not that it usually works.

Plum would get frustrtaed at her champions quiet behaviour, she's seen her without that mask on, when shes less tightly wound, and its so much nicer. she'd out right ask why she does that, peach dancing around the truth that she gets nervious around someone so pretty. Greys defo worked it out, hes not the best at social, but hes got a good eye for Peach now, teases her for it a lot.

------------

this setup defo feels like it can retain that tired sad beaten down peach energy original Rome AU had, which i LOVED, shes always so emotionally durable, so like, i like to make her weaker, and more unnrved and unsettled, she'd not understand recieving affections, or kind gestures, or anythign other than orders.

i may toy with this a bit more if i get five!

Thank you everyone for the great ideas and notes and messages, its helped me feel like i can dip my toe back into this kind of an AU without being pooped on for it.

[sezja]

Febuwhump Day 17: Hostage Situation Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV Characters/Ship: Sanson Smyth/Guydelot Thildonnet, Nourval Lhorulgois, Raicheille Lhorulgois Triggers/Content warnings: Child abuse

Previously: Part One, Part Two, Part Three

Once Raicheille has scrubbed away the day's travails, dressed in one of Nourval's long nightshirts (fully a dress on her slight frame), and gotten some food in her, she promptly retreats to the bedroom for a well-earned rest.

It's just as well, Sanson muses; having dealt with the girl during Guydelot's abduction at her uncle's hands a year ago, he knows how much of a handful she can be - and how unconducive to conversation her boundless energy can be, at that. Last year, she'd successfully wrangled him into breaking Nourval out of gaol, and if he cannot deny it was a gamble that paid off, still, he'd just as soon avoid any more of Raicheille's wild schemes if he may.

Although he fears he may have already stumbled into one.

Is that better or worse, though, than the idea that she has no control over the situation?

"It was the Order's understanding," he says, breaking the tense silence that settles over the three of them once the girl leaves. "That your parents had no part in Astarnaix's plot, and that your sister could be safely returned to their custody."

Nourval nods, weary. "He wouldn't have told them, not after I..." He glances at Sanson, then drops his gaze, staring intently at the floor. "I'd known things must be terrible for her at home. I knew. But I'd assumed... I don't know. They'd never gone so far as to beat her, not while I lived under their roof. Raised voices, aye; locked in her room, aye - but starving her, beating her? She's too young yet for a serious betrothal." He shakes his head. "They've fallen out of favor with Astarnaix's cronies, plainly, and they're trying to win their way back with a good marriage. She's the only coin they've left to spend."

Guydelot looks deceptively calm, leaning casually against a wall. "Aye, and they're doing their level best to polish her up, never mind if it leaves a few dents." Sanson wagers only he can see the thunderclouds brewing behind his bard's eyes, and the fury hidden behind his relaxed posture. Guydelot may not like Nourval, but that doesn't mean he'll stomach what's being done to an innocent girl.

"I should have argued for custody of her," Nourval says, hands curling into fists. "After Astarnaix, knowing what she would be returning home to-"

"You were in no fit state to argue for anything," Sanson protests, remembering all too well how perilously close to death Nourval had been; if the man had even been conscious enough to protest his sister's return to their parents, Sanson would have been astonished.

Guydelot cuts in, "Even if you had been, I reckon they'd've been reluctant to let her stay with a man who'd broken out of gaol."

"He was released under the authority of myself and Commander Vorsaile Heuloix," Sanson replies primly, fighting a smile.

"Aye, so says the official report. Now."

There had been a great deal of back-and-forth, and for a time, Sanson had been certain he'd be stripped of rank, and Vorsaile too. In the end, discretion won out: the plot had been exposed and halted before any harm could be done to the delicate negotiations between Gridania and Ala Mhigo, and none could deny the role Nourval had played in it. House arrest seemed a fair compromise between allowing Nourval to walk free despite his past actions, and condemning him to prison once again despite his more recent heroics.

But house arrest is surely no place for a girl of fifteen... unless, of course, her home life is so dreadful as to make even this seem a paradise by comparison.

"Well," he says, quiet. "The question is... what do we do now?"

Silence.

It's Guydelot who breaks it first, pushing away from the wall. "Well, one thing's for sure - we can't just hide her here forever. I figure your parents know she's fond of you?" He looks at Nourval, who hesitates, then nods. "Right. So if this ain't the first place they'll think to search for her, it sure as hells won't be the last, either. And all they'll have to do is tell those nice lads out front that they're looking for their daughter, and wouldn't you know it? We brought a girl matching her description here a few bells ago."

"You'd aid her?" Nourval peers up at the bard, surprised. "After I..."

"What, held Sanson hostage? Tried to stir up a war?" Guydelot shrugs. "Your uncle did the same thing, twice as bad. I reckon bastard just runs in the family."

"Then-"

"But the way I see it, I owe the lass a favor or two." He smiles, flexing his hands; they may still ache from time to time, Sanson knows, but he's otherwise healed nicely from his ordeal. "Besides, look at it this way. This time, it's sort of like we've got the hostage, seeing as we've got what they want."

Nourval's face is mutinous. "I will not hand her back into their keeping."

"Never said you should. We're in a position to negotiate, is all."

Oh no. Sanson inhales sharply. "Guydelot. What are you planning?

[derangedthots]

I just finished reading FMF and CTF and wow just wow, its literal perfection, you’re seriously talented and i was wondering if you ever have given writing and publishing a book a thought ? cause oml i cant get enough of ur writing i cant even put into words how much i loved ur writing !! I was also wondering if you have an official personal account where you post updates and how far did you get with writing chapter 3 ? But nonetheless i hope life is treating you well <3

hi lovely!!☺️

fjsks i'm glad you liked FMF/CTF so much and to answer your first question, i want to be an author eventually so yes i've definitely thought abt publishing a book before(i have too many ideas tho so they need to fight themselves to see who'd win first and then of course i'd need to find the time rip💀). other than my author's notes in my fics themselves, this is my only official acc with which to interact with you guys and post updates abt where i'm currently at with my works(as well as post general hotd/asoiaf thoughts or rants). as for how far i'm at with writing ch3+4 that- yeah that answer is depressingly: not far at all for various reasons i can't share at this time🙃😭 ((so sorry again to everyone for the wait))

i hope life is treating you well too, thanks for dropping by💕💕

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Ended getting writer's block and didn't write anything :(

Anyways, on a scale of one to ten who'd you think would win in a fight? (ex: shadow Mark vs host, monster dave vs the willow tree or something, etc)

grenade launcher anon

I'm. not sure, I could do like. Matchups between all the characters but that would take forever, so I'll just say. who's the strongest au variant of all these characters instead if thats alright with you.

Gabriel: Canon Gabriel is probably more powerful? but i'm gonna say. HSH Gabriel. though i'm not going to specify why just yet.

Six: Honestly not sure.

Preacher: Gardener is probably the most powerful. mainly due to height.

N: Not sure either.

Mark: Shadow Mark is winning a fight between all the Marks. Alt Mark is close behind but Shadow Mark has. a flesh eating "locust" swarm so-

Cesar: Lab Cesar or Thing Cesar

Altsar: Not very many options surprisingly so i'm going with Host

Adam: MP Adam or Were Adam. Maybe Thing Adam too i'm not sure

Jonah: Alt Jonah. purely for mental attacks considering most Jonahs aren't physical attackers.

Evelin: MP Evelin

Sarah: Lake Sarah

Dave: Monster Dave for sure

Thatcher: Probably. Monster au?

Ruth: I have. no idea. most Ruths are dead and/or spirits so

[basuralindo]

YHMR Ch. 18 drop!

This one gets very mildly NSFW, so, don't read it at work I guess idk. Enjoy!

Editing done by @kamikazequail, and commentary under the cut!

As always feel free to comment, I'm constantly fiending for feedback.

-Jamil: Decides to worry less about something for once in his life. The universe: "Oh, bitch…"

- But yeahhh I imagine him as the type to get stabby when he's startled. In case that wasn't apparent yet.

-You may have wondered what the point of that whole tangent about spatial compression pockets five chapters ago was for. It was literally for this moment. I need Jamil to have a knife on him at all times, can't picture him not doing that, and I needed a way for him to not get caught with it ("But a magic school would be prepared for students to have access to things like that and would have security measures against hidden contraband items-" NRC is so fucking lax. students try to murder each other all the time. Everyone always goes 'nooo it's against the rules to use magic in a fight!' and then they do it anyway, and staff never gives a shit -and that's for the canon highschool version. Universities, by nature, give even less fucks. If there was a stabbing on campus, Crowey would only pay attention if it became a publicity issue. I think the staff would actually encourage hidden pockets if it means they gain plausible deniability for knowing what the students are up to). Aaand when I realized I was gonna be writing this scene, I needed to be able to mention the knife without having to stop and explain where it came from or why he has it. So yeah, there it is, Checkov's magic wristband of holding. He'd keep it hidden under his PE wristband

- ….Jamil finally has someone willingly following his orders. Of course that's immediately gonna go to his head

-What's that? Jamil giggling happily for the first time in his life because his crush maimed someone in his honor? Sometimes "perfect for each other" involves both parties being incredibly unwholesome.

-Aaand finally, Jamil realizes he's a monsterfucker

-Yeah btw, eels have to move their bodies side-to-side to swim, and I figure that any mermaids who swim that way would need side musculature similar to abs, which would look…. unique. I guess. So yeah the tweels would have fucked up torsos. And you need a decent understanding of anatomy to consistently win knife fights, so Jamil would definitely notice. (also the lateral line sensory organ in fish runs down the sides, so, idk. it'd be a sensitive area is what I'm saying) (yeahhh I've always been really into marine biology, and tbh I never thought this is how I'd end up applying the knowledge, but here we are.)

-Poor Ace. I actually like Ace, he's just chronically unfortunate. I dunno if it's out of character for him to be tryna help out, but I think he has a genuine nice streak.

-Aaand yeah, Floyd grew up with very different ideas surrounding leadership and respect than Jamil, and he's not particularly keen on someone he respects having to follow the orders of a guy who'd never survive in the mafia

-So, I realize that it's been confirmed in canon that the mermen need potions to transform back and forth, and I'm choosing to ignore it. Thank you for your understanding.

-The eels in the little mermaid are always tangled around each other and everything, and I think that's really cute, so the tweels are gonna be in constant contact too

[gjdraws]

(On S5 and the tragedy of Daniel LaRusso)

As @variousqueerthings and I were talking about, Cobra Kai is written by hardcore Johnny fanboys. This is not inherently a bad thing (me, I'm looking at me I'm the Johnny fan). 

But yeah, it means we've seen some iffy Daniel writing. We've seen Daniel written as: petty (the rent raising), jumping to conclusions (the miyagi do trashing being Johnny's brainchild), hurtful (lookin at you Robby) but the one thing his character has always been constant about is: violence is a last resort. 

The thing that struck me most about this season was how this show, ostensibly drawn from roots of No Be There, has finally taken that dreaded U turn to glorifying No Mercy.

Because isn't that what they did with Daniel? A boy - who defeated not one but three examples of Might is Right, and two of No Mercy - that boy, caving to those philosophies? After Chozen even taught him a Miyagi Do pressure point method of "take away the ability to wage war"?

I've read analyses of Daniel's fight against Silver which paint using the Quicksilver method in a slightly better light. And they make for a good read. But.

But. 

TKK3 was about Terry forcing Daniel to do violence. In the club, in the AVT match. "From the moment I met you, I've been making you do things you don't want to do." And then the writers made Daniel do it again. 

If Johnny's themes are about breaking out of the cycle of violence/no mercy, Daniel's themes are pacifism and finding a better way.

The trouble is, the writers took pacifism to be "back down from a fight", and in a schoolyard bully taunt sort of way (yes i see the irony). Which is so tragically oversimplified. Richard Kamen managed to show us what it is in one line, where Daniel asks Mr. Miyagi "You could've killed him, couldn't you?" And Mr. Miyagi said yes. 

Mr. Miyagi's pacifism came from having seen the long lasting evil violence inflicts, and the Might is Right being inherently useless in the end. This is a man who survived the war, and the internment camps. He knows violence and its hurts.

The thing is, pacifism means more than "I dont want to fight you". It means, "I can fight you. But I choose not to, because it will gain us both nothing". Again, Mr. Miyagi karate chopping the head of a bottle, so that the racists would understand that fighting would gain them nothing. 

But our writers ignored that and took Daniel - horribly wronged (not once, but twice) Daniel. A Daniel who'd struggled for four seasons to live up to Mr. Miyagi's ideals because he believed in them. They took that Daniel and had him win against Silver in a beatdown. Not even using the "take away the ability to wage war" method in S3, no he took the thing he hated most about himself in TKK3. And he enacted violence using the way Terry had taught him ("I've been making you do things you don't want to, Danny boy).

So who really won? I know who lost. The man who said "no passion before principle", "Before revenge, dig two graves". The man who hated the idea of "No Mercy". 

It's one thing to show Daniel winning against Silver, God knows Silver needed comeuppance. But to take the karate kid, the boy who forgave Johnny Lawrence (the telling absence of Billy's touchstone for that character "You're alright, LaRusso!"). The boy who honked Chozen's nose, and gained a valuable friend and ally decades later for it. To take that boy and have him hurt Silver (in the way Silver taught him to hurt people) and feel only vindication... That was the poorest, cheapest way to show Daniel win. 

They misunderstood and laughed at Mr. Miyagi's "defense only" karate until the only way to show Daniel as strong and righteous and victorious was to use the way of the fist. And if that isn't tragic I don't know what is. 

Guess all the No Mercy merch makes more sense now, so sorry Mr. Kamen :/