#i have the hokey pokey down

[thunderheadfred]

I wish that just sitting upright did not currently make me feel like I am in a barrel going over Niagara Falls

[softness-and-shattering]

. Vent part 2

[dongslinger--420]

When BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) said "you can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it ok. you need to be better" and "all we have are the connections we make" and "I really should've thought about the view from halfway down" and "sometimes you have to take responsibility for your own happiness" and "you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, you turn yourself around, THAT'S what it's all about" and "things have to get worse before they can get better" and "in real life, the big gesture isn't enough, you need to be consistent" and "if we hadn't met each other until now, we wouldn't be the people we are now" and, my personal favourite, "every day it gets a little easier, but you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part, but it does get easier".

[fanaticsnail]

Conversations with the Clown

Word Count: 150+

Your Captain has been exceptionally short with you of late. Nothing is quite going to plan, and his fuse has been sparking particularly close to the waxy wick of his explosive attitude.

Humbling himself, swallowing his pride, he walks over to your sat position at the quiet end of the extended, communal wooden table in the dining area. Sat at the edge of the pew, you are hunched over and hyper fixed on the daunting task of taking inventory and managing wages.

"I'm sorry, Baby" he whispered into your neck, taking the opportunity to place a small kiss on your temple. He crouches at your side, placing his hand on your knee and attempts to claim your attention with his eyes. You sigh, push back the paperwork and relax into the backboard of the pew.

"I know, Captain. It's okay, truly," you whisper through closed eyes. Feeling his hand drag up your thigh and settle at your hip, you snap your eyes open to meet his playful gaze.

His voice began to break a rough chuckle, his voice rasping at the edges as he met your fed-up expression.

"I have learnt the hokey-pokey-," he began, his voice halted by your verbal reprimand.

"-Don't," you cut his words short. His smile only widened, his teal eyes twinkling with mischief.

"...And I am turning myself around," he concluded, his smile cracking his perfectly attuned makeup. The blue above his eyes smudged into his crows feet, his chapped lips curling to reveal his red-tinted teeth beneath his face paint. His smile twinkled with the innocence of a toddler, staring up into your face with nothing but wonderment.

You huffed out a breath of exasperation, blaming your fury at his poorly timed joke before you drew your palm up to cradle his cheek. Soothing over the amassment of rough stubble beneath the paint, you leant down to press your forehead against his and uttered lovingly into him.

"That's what it's all about."

(This drabble was brought to you by the ever spectacular @sordidmusings who just lets me bounce ideas off her. Love you 🥹)

[mieeaahhh]

All for the game characters as songs but only songs from my playlist and most of it doesn’t have any reason, It’s just the bugs living on my shoulder whispering it into my ear.

Neil Josten

-Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

-Dead Girl Walking from heathers

-That’s Life by Frank Sinatra

-Hounds Of Love by Kate Bush

-am i being followed…? By emily jeffri

Andrew Minyard

-forwards beckon rebound by Adrianne Lenkar

-Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division

-Dizzy Miss Lizzy by the Beatles

-Never Saw The Point by Cults

-I Wanna Be Your Dog by Mephisto Walz

Aaron Minyard

-emo boy by Ayesha Erotica

-Cool About It by boygenius

-William, It Was Really Nothing by The Smiths

-Nintendo 64 by Alex G

-Mama’s Boy by Dominic Fike

Nicky Hemmick

-HOT TO GO! By Chappell Roan

-I Don’t Wanna Be Funny Anymore by Lucy Dacus

-White Teeth Teens by Lorde

-Back To That Old House by The Smiths

-It’s Called: Freefall by Rainbow Kitten Suprise

Kevin Day

-Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA

-Literal Legend by Ayesha Erotica

-A Pearl by Mitski

-Army Dreamers by Kate Bush

-Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin

Renee Walker

-Big Mouth Strikes Again by The Smiths

-Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain

-Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

-P.U.N.K Girl by Heavenly

-Just A Girl by Florence + The Machine

Allison Reynolds

-Maneater by Nelly Furtado

-Good Luck, Babe! Chappell Roan

-all-american bitch by Olivia Rodrigo

-Paper Bag by Fiona Apple

-Funnel Of Love by Wanda Jackson

Seth Gordon

-Silver Soul by Beach House

-The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen

-Lights Out by Mindless Self Indulgence

-Breathing by Kate Bush

-Climbing Up The Walls by Radiohead

Matt Boyd

-Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit

-This Charming Man by The Smiths

-My Hero by Foo Fighters

-The Great Big Gig In The Sky by Pink Floyd

-Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses

Dan Wilds

-Rue by girl in red

-Lovers Rock by TV Girl

-Girl Anachronism

-Christian Woman by Type O Negative

-Limp by Fiona Apple

Jeremy Knox

-Destroyed By Hippie Powers by Car Seat Headrest

-Heroes by David Bowie

-Jigsaw Falling Into Place by Radiohead

-The Perfect Girl by Mareux

-Starman by David Bowie

Jean Moreau

-insomniac by Memo Boy, Chakra Efendi

-Fireworks by Mitski

-Stupid MF by Mindless Self Indulgence

-The Murder Mystery by The Velvet Underground

-Down By The Water by PJ Harvey

Laila Dermott

-Howl by Florence + The Machine

-White Teeth Teens by Lorde

-Call Me by Blondie

-Bored by Laufey

-Mirror by The Last Dinner Party

Catalina Alvarez

-Burn Alive by The Last Dinner Party

-Shut Up And Drive by Rihanna

-Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen

-Hey Jude by The Beatles

-Pools by Glass Animals

Katelyn Mckensie

-Oh! You Pretty Things by David Bowie

-My Kind Of Woman by Mac DeMarco

-Valerie by TV Girl

-Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys

-Oh Woman, Oh Why by Paul and Linda McCartney

Cody Winter

-Exceptionally Sadistic by Monument Of Misanthropy

-Bullet With Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumkins

-It’s Only Sex by Car Seat Headrest

-Buried Alive by Radio Werewolf

-Chop Suey! By System Of A Down

Also I’m super cool and hip and cool so this is my playlists

[svechnikovvv]

drunken nights

pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader

warnings: profanity, mentions of drinking (if that bothers anyone)

summary: taking care of drunk jack hughes

a/n: drunk hughesy is something special

masterlist: here

"hey babe, i'm going out with a couple of the guys." i nod

"m'kay my love. just don't drink and drive." he walks over to me sitting on the couch and places a kiss atop my head.

"dougie's picking me up. he's the dd for tonight" i give him a thumbs up, too engrossed in my show.

"i'll be back tonight," jack calls out

"okay. have a nice time, i love you."

"i love you most." and with that, the door closes and i have the house to myself for a good few hours depending on how early they start drinking. i opt to watch this new murder docu-series that netflix released and that keeps me entertained until i decide to head to bed. who would've guessed that the girl's twin brother was the killer the whole time? not me.

around one in the morning is when i'm woken up to knocks on the door. must be jack. i slip out of bed and check the door and see a very smiley jack being propped up in dougie's arms. i open the door and dougie walks in with jack's arm slung over his shoulders.

"come on jack, let's get you to this couch."

"but douggggg, i want y/n," he whines and i quietly laugh to myself. i walk to crouch in front of the couch by jack. he turns his face to look at me.

"y/n!" he cheers and i smile, running my fingers through his soft hair. he closes his eyes in content.

"hi, j. c'mon, let me see those pretty eyes of yours so i can see how far gone you are." he gasps and tries his best to look at dougie.

"dude, she said i have pretty eyes!" dougie quietly laughs and nods

"i heard her, jack." he then looks at me "you can handle him?" i nod

"you think he's bad? try dealing with a drunk quinn, jack and trevor. that is like wrestling three toddlers." he shakes his head

"don't know how you do it, y/n. well you have a good night and fun time dealing with giggles." i nod and tell dougie goodnight, locking the door behind him. i go back to jack and take a seat beside him on the couch. i place his head in my lap and he looks up at me. his pupils are dilated. he's gonna have a fun little hangover in the morning. not looking forward to a cranky jack.

"holy shit, you're gorgeous. will you marry me?"

"not tonight, babe. maybe when you're sober."

"but i'm jack?" he says confused and it makes me laugh.

"let's get you to bed, yeah?" he smirks

"you can do whatever you want to me, baby." he giggles and it's taking everything in me not to laugh.

"jack, love, come on. you need to go to sleep."

"i'll sleep right here." i stand up and place both of his feet on the ground, then grabbing his hands. i pull him up and sling his arm over my shoulders. i manage to get him to the bedroom and he giggles.

"what's funny, j?"

"was jus' thinkin about the time quinn got in trouble for giving luke yellow snow as a kid saying it was lemon-flavored." he continues to laugh and i shake my head, a smile on my face as i found a devil's hoodie and some sweats to get jack into.

"okay. either you can change yourself into some different clothes, you sleep in your jeans, or i help you change." he calms down from his giggling fit.

"i'll change myself. i'm a big boy" i nod

"if you say so" i give him the clothes and he takes them. he stands up to take off his jeans and he falls and starts giggling some more.

"that hurt, but the sound it made was funny." he continues to laugh and i take a seat on the edge of our bed, my body shaking with silent laughter. he manages to get his jeans off and he waves them around in the air.

"jack hughes is up at the three-point line," he's lying on the ground. "he shoots... and he scores!" by shoots, he means he launched his jeans somewhere. and by scores, well, he didn't. he then slips on his sweats and starts to sing the hokey pokey as he does.

"you need help getting up?"

"i think i'll stay down here for a while." he hums and takes off his shirt, flinging it somewhere like his jeans. i feel like i'm at a frat. he then slips on a white tee, then his hoodie. he manages to get his head stuck in the arm sleeve of his hoodie.

"look, i'm an elephant!" he laughs and immitates an elephant to the best of his ability. i can't wait to tell him about this in the morning.

"c'mon, let's go to sleep now." i pull him up and he falls onto the bed.

"i wonder who made this mattress. 's very comfy," he says, face pressed against it.

"i don't know, j. but i'm sure they'll appreciate your feedback in the morning." he nods and i climb into my side beside him. just when i think he's asleep, he rolls over to face me.

"baby?" he asks

"yes?"

"would you love me if i had no eyes?"

"what brought you to asking me this?"

"i was just thinking my thoughts and i remembered hellen keller roamed the earth at one point, and she had no eyes-" i cut him off

"babe, she had eyes. she was just blind."

"oh. well, would you love me if i was blind?"

"absolutely"

"even if i couldn't see your beautiful face anymore?"

"jack, i would love you regardless of what was wrong with you. you'll always be my jack." he sleepily smiles

"i love you. so so much." i kiss his forehead

"and i love you. now get some sleep"

"mkay" shortly i hear his breath even out and he's out cold. at least he didn't cry and sing single ladies this time.

tags: @goldenbrokenheart @alhanna05 @woodruff-edwards @i-padfootblack-things

a/n: first request, feeling great

[rrenzwrld]

EREN AS A PAGEANT DAD HEADCANONS PLEASE!!

omg this is different and i like it! i see the vision and i do have some hcs for you~

pageant dad!eren hcs that just make sense 🤭 (actually in love w this idea)

— eren did NOT approve of the idea at first but you convinced him to let your daughter participate in being a pageant girlie + his baby’s cute puppy dog eyes wearing him down.. so she ended up starting as a pageant kid at a young age

— he didn’t like the money that was spent (even though y’all had it bc i believe he’s lowkey kinda cheap) so he gets carla to make the outfits and help out with the hair and makeup at a cheaper cost

— but your baby was NOT happy with that and she wanted to look like the other girls so… y’all did end up spending the money for everything.. for every pageant event 😬

— since your daughter had a much curlier hair texture, she couldn’t quite get the look she really wanted so she was sad about that

— some moments leading to the instilling of lots of self love especially with hair texture and skin color

— lots of “don’t cry, baby~ if you cry, you gonna make me cry” and “winning doesn’t matter, okay? you’ll always be my little princess”

— although eren says winning doesn’t matter, it still feels really good when he sees his daughters face light up as she takes pictures with her cute trophies/tiara (i was thinking about toddlers and tiaras yes)

— the house is full of pictures, trophies, medals, etc she wins most of the competitions

— yes he would brag about his child bc he knows she deserves to be bragged about duh

— he is VERY protective

— if you can’t make it to the event and there’s no one to help your daughter prepare, he’s really in dad mode

— a lot of “take some of that lipgloss off. she’s five not fucking twenty-five.” bc he gets irritated when he thinks his baby is not being done right

— the other moms have a tiny crush on him but he pushes past like they mean nothing bc this is a competition, not the hokey pokey and plus, he got a fine ass wife with big tiddies by his side so he really don’t got time 🤷🏽‍♀️

— some parents even steal certain aspects of your daughter’s performance and that does NOT go unnoticed by him

— talks shit about everything he sees, just the parents choices bc the children are innocent and he’s kinda critical when it comes to everyone else

— *whispers* “i knew that bitch would try to-” .. “eren, you are too loud.”

— records everything for memories and gets mad when ppl get in the way and he’s not afraid to let them know they’re in the way “oh my fucking-” or “i’m trying to see my kid, can you not stand directly in front of me?”

— you even have to pinch him a few times when he gets too much and is attracting glares bc his temper can get a lil embarrassing “stop all that damn cussin in front of these kids.”

— even though he’d be a bit overprotective of his baby especially when it comes to the pageant life, i believe eren would be a wonderful pageant dad and all he wants is for is little princess to do what makes her happy 😌👸🏽

(new fic coming soon after tomorrow when i see the votes!)

[yoongisleftshoulder]

BTS Reacts: Another Member Walks in On Them and Their S/O (NSFW) 18+

Seokjin:

Jinny would be falling apart on the inside when he locked eyes with Jimin as he was getting the most mind-blowing blowjob of his life. His soul would no longer be one with his body. It has left this Earth. Externally, however, he would try to play it off. With a small chuckle, Jin would ask Jimin to please shut the door on his way out. He bounced right outta there without being asked twice. After it was private again, him and his s/o would kind of just stare at each other for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

Yoongi:

Yoongi would be a middle ground. He wouldn't super traumatized by Jungkook witnessing him annihilating you but he also wouldn't be ultra casual about it. Honestly, he would scold Jungkook going "AH AH AH AH AH." like he would do to a naughty cat who got into something it wasn't supposed to. He would end his catboy scolding with a simple but firm "Get out." When Jungkook leaves, he would get back to doing the horizontal hokey pokey. Jungkook isn't gonna kill his vibe.

Hoseok:

Who left this poor man in the freezer? Hoseok would let out a shrilling scream first, of course, but when Jin was too stunned to speak or move, a thiiiccckkk silence would be all that was left. They both just stare at each other for a minute and his s/o would have to be the one to get up and close the door. He probably wouldn't be in the mood anymore afterwards.

Namjoon:

This man...This man would not...Namjoon would not help this situation AT ALL. When Yoongi walked in, he immediately tried to walk back out but ended up turning around again and seeing more than he ever wanted. This was due to the startling sound of Namjoon flinging himself off of the bed and landing on the floor, hands first, and tripping over the sheets and blankets when he tried getting back up. The heavy stomping footsteps of the poor guy trying to catch his balance to close the door was almost worse second-hand embarassment for Yoongi than walking in on his friend doin' the deed.

Jimin:

Jimin would all but knock you off of his unclothed lap the milisecond he heard the door creaking. Flying like the mf wind, he would slam the door in the mystery member's face, sputtering out apologies over and over. Before he went back over to the bed, he triple checked that he actually locked the door this time and wasn't hallucinating. He would try and play it cool towards you as if you didn't just witness him putting a cheetah to shame to get to the door before another member saw anything. Jimin would fail this quickly because when you called him out for his blushing cheeks, he fell into a giggly mess.

Taehyung:

Oddly enough, Taehyung was a little too casual about this situation. When Namjoon opened Tae's door and witnessed the beast with two backs, he himself would freeze before Taehyung asked "Can I help you with something?". They were making eye contact the whole time while an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Taehyung stayed still, staring at Namjoon, waiting for an answer. Before he could even answer yet, Tae started to lower his head back down onto his half-naked s/o's neck. Namjoon took the hint and closed the door behind him. He spent the rest of the night searching "therapists near me"

Jungkook:

Mans would look like he was cosplaying a tomato. He would do one of two things: one, he would completely freeze up while his s/o is just staring up at him thinking "boi, if you don't get out of me right now-" or, he would move at the speed of light and slam the door in whichever poor soul had opened the door to his bedroom with zero warning. Afterwards, when he finally brought himself to exit his bedroom, he would still be BEET ass red and be the quietest he had ever been. It would take him a while to get over the embarassment and knew he would never live that moment down.

[spilledquinoa]

as my sibling and I have a running quotes list, I would like to add some lines that I think would be pretty fun with Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Zack, and Cloud. enjoy.

Sephiroth

"All I know is MAIL"

"Who made blood?" "yes"

"one (1) singular street fight"

"so basically it's China or cancer"

"you're walking inordinately slow" (probably Zack or somethin) "WELL YOU'RE WALKING BIG WORD FAST"

"I don't discriminate" (Genesis,most likely) "but I do"

"there's a mistake" "unacceptable" "...that was yours"

"it feels like my brain is being deep-fried in acetone"

"hey, how's it going?" "terrible, thanks for asking"

"I'm like a twelve year old with dementia"

Angeal

"I'm not going to shotgun a caprisun"

"that's enough please, stop beating me with a pineapple"

"where can I put my taco??" "in your pocket" "w h a t"

"I like feeding the geese on my own terms, don't want em quacking at me"

"They're turkeys, but not cute turkeys (troublemakers) like my kids. no, these are turkeys that might get shot for thanksgiving and I'm not sorry about it"

"GET BACK HERE GERALD"

"WHO WOULD SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT, AT A FUNERAL?!"

"Mr Coach A, if you wan to be formal"

"...why are you pretending to smoke a pencil?"

"I'm not a priest, I had my chance"

"you can't make a worse drink if you only have water"

Genesis

"STOP TALKING OR I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR MOUTH"

"imagine grinding up someone's teeth! on the internet! for views!"

"my sexuality is a twister wheel"

"Heidegger likes ritz...?"

"HOJO CAN'T READ"

"are you saying that orphans are losers cause they're orphans??" "would you say they're winners then?"

"excuse you, I don't get any bitches because I have a *maiden*"

calling Catherine Howard, fifth wife of Henry the VIII a hussy

"we believe something is beautiful because it can end"

"tear me apart and make me your villain"

Zack

"nipulars"

"hypothetically, if sonic slapped a raw chicken 95,850 times in the span of 9.6 picoseconds (a picosecond is one trillionth of a second) the chicken would be cooked"

"are you about to have a breakdown or are you about to break it down?"

"gimme a spicy second"

"is it a bird? is it a plane? it's Vagina Man!"

"call me Shrek cause I'm swamped"

"prepare yourself, I'm gonna shit my pants"

"SUCK IT BOZO"

"meatghetti and spaghettballs"

"OKAY MR-I-KNOW-HOW-TO-READ"

"what's good for the goose is good for the other goose"

"they were a hero" "I didn't want them to be a hero, I wanted them to live."

"I'll fill you in on the baseball lore"

"there's a *Denny's*"

"the energy of a single banana"

Cloud

"start crying, you'll get sympathy points"

"I'M GOING TO DANCE ON YOUR BONES"

"HOW DOES WINNIE THE POOH AND TAOISM RELATE??"

"well guess what Joey; I can still punch you in the balls"

"I HOPE YOU'RE LONELY"

"you know, I didn't think I'd screw up a lot but here we go"

"we're doing ballet bitch"

"he's rich" "what else is he" "a present"

"I keep on saying prostitution instead of prosecution"

"why are we talking about Caesar like he's Regina George"

"upchuck...vomit...do the hokey pokey..."

"that REEKS of my point"

*playing video games* "I'm now bald, can rip out street lights, and use motorcycles as weapons" "and you start out with BALD?" "it's his most defining trait"

"SHUT UP YOU BITCH ASS HOBO"

there is more than enough for a part two btw

[oathofoaksart]

sandwich a la speedster

Perching her head on interlaced fingers, Lei watched Wally line his knife across the top of his sandwich.

He kept making microscopic adjustments to the blade, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth from the effort. One millimeter left, two right. Finally after a few more rounds of the kitchen hokey-pokey, Lei said, “Oh my God, Wally. Cut it.”

“Almooost…” Wally kept his eyes still fixed on his sandwich, but didn’t move any faster than he had been.

Lei gestured vaguely at the set up strewn over the kitchen counter– half a fridge’s worth of ingredients she was pretty sure weren’t meant to be together. “You could’ve been done ages ago.”

“We’re not going anywhere,” Wally said, finally sawing through the first layer of his triple decker. “And I happen to like the process.”

“Well.” Lei snipped without any real fire, “Like the process faster.”

He laughed and sucked a bit of mustard off his thumb, his sandwich now cut perfectly down the middle. “There’s merit in taking things slow, y’know, have a little respect for the art.”

“It’s three meats on rye.”

“It’s the human experience.” Wally said with a gleam in his eye.

“Oh-kay.” She flicked a strand of hair over her shoulder, but she didn’t hide the lacing laughter in her tone.

“Our ancestors have been stacking stuff between baked pieces of grain since the dawn of civilization.” He said, tapping the counter in emphasis, “Every sandwich is our connection to our forebearers. Our history. Our…”

Wally looked out somewhere beyond Lei’s head, but judging by his faltering expression he’d exhausted his muse.

“Essence of life.” Lei suggested.

“Essence of life.” Wally agreed as he wrapped a half of his sandwich in a plastic sheet– taking care of folding it neatly– before handing it to her.

“I’m out of gold leaf.” He said when she hesitated, “Sorry, Miss I’ve-Got-A-Personal-

Michelin-Star-Chef.”

Lei rolled her eyes and snatched it from his hand, spinning the seat of her chair as to turn her back on him. She shot a smile over her shoulder, “It’s two personal Michelin chefs and their respective crews, thank you.”

“Oh, gee. My bad.” He said around a mouthful.

Lei studied her half of the sandwich. It didn’t look half-bad. Sandwiches weren't her go-to food the way it was for Wally– who swore up and down were acceptable for all three meals of the day– but she’d been forced to miss lunch earlier.

That was the excuse she gave herself when she took a sniff, quickly followed by a bite. She hummed appreciatively, turning back around to face Wally.

“I’ll eat it if you don’t want it.” He said, reaching out for it, only for his response to be a swift slap of his hand. “Ow?” Wally clamped his sandwich between his teeth, rubbing at the sting.

“Don’t be dramatic.” Lei said quickly, making sure she took another extra big bite. She was hungrier than she thought she’d been and she didn’t like how Wally thought she was too good for ‘normal’ food.

He was right, of course, but she didn’t like him thinking she wouldn’t take something he gave her.

And, honestly, it wasn’t a bad sandwich. A little heavy-handed on the mustard and she wasn’t a fan of the brown flecks on the lettuce. Cheddar wasn’t her favorite cheese. But all in all, she could almost say she liked it.

“Alright, West.” She said, “Maybe you have something there.”

He snorted. By some miracle —likely because he still hadn’t found a way to safely dislocate his jaw— Wally hadn’t stuffed his half into his mouth. “Jimmy John’s would go to war with Subway for me.”

“I meant your little ‘human connection’ thing.” Lei peeled away more of the plastic from her sandwich, surprised she’d already eaten half way through it. “I can’t remember the last time someone made a sandwich for me for the sake of it. It’s nice.”

Wally swallowed with a little more effort than Lei was comfortable with. He lifted up his remaining bite in the air, it took Lei a minute to realize he was proposing a toast, “May our bread be the foundation of a greater We…Bologna, an extension of our heartstrings…and the weird, kinda green thing that was chillin’ in the back of the pantry our bond that lives through time.”

Lei closed her eyes, choosing to ignore that little tidbit. She lifted her own remaining piece of dinner. It wasn’t much smaller than Wally’s. “Hallelu.”

They tapped their bites and ate.

—

it’s the way i’ve had this sketch for over a year. and it let it be known lei expects wally to make her sandwiches from then on.

[lovekz]

french kiss (10)

syn ->  rindou has a crush on his older brother’s best friend. and literally doesnt know how to express his feelings. but when ran isn’t available and you come yo him for advice, he has an idea.

beware of.. gun use, attempted murder, marijuana use, izana is... not exactly sane

~

after the party happened, life was a entire blur for rindou.

he didn’t know where he was going in life anymore, what he was doing, and why he wanted to do it.

the man quickly dropped out of any class he had with you, even his photography major.

rindou found comfort in liquor, weed, and women.

the door to the haitani's house swung open, the younger haitani and a woman following behind.

she was giggling as rindou began to drag her up the stairs.

her panties were obviously hanging out of his pockets.

a gun being cocked to could be heard, making the haitani and his companion freeze just on the first step.

"go any further and i'll put a bullet in your head." the person said quickly.

before rindou could dash up the stairs with the girl in tow, a shot was let out and the gun was cocked yet again.

"i'll state this again. go any further and i will put a bullet in your head. i don't ever fuckin miss either." the voice repeated, getting louder.

rindou and the woman put their hands up, not budging from their spot.

the person hummed in approval, before another person approached.

"don't move lady. back up slowly and step out of the house." another voice said, this time being muffled.

after a couple seconds, the woman was gone from rindou's side and he still hadn’t move.

he was weighing his options.

"rindou take off your pants and do the hokey pokey." the voice from the beginning giggled, finally sounding familiar.

izana fucking kurokawa.

rindou turned around and shot the older male a glare, and a nasty one indeed.

"i thought you promised you wouldn't shoot." kakucho sighed, taking the ski mask off himself and looking at izana with a raised eyebrow.

"yeah, and then mr. p-i-m-p got some funny ideas." izana scoffed, flicking the lights on and putting the gun down.

rindou glared the older male down even, rolling his eyes.

"i'm not a fucking pimp." rindou snapped at him, stepping down the step to get in izana's face.

"oh i couldn't call virgin rinnie a pimp. i'm calling you panties-in-my-pocket." izana cooed with a grin, flicking the pink thong that was still hanging out his pocket teasingly.

rindou growled and almost swung at izana, buta firm grip on his shoulder stopped him.

"stop it." ran said, looking down at his little brother with a glare worse than his if not matching his own.

rindou knew his older brother was not trying to stop a fight, or even start one.

he was trying to stop a murder of his most important family member from taking place in front of his eyes.

ran was saving rindou from the agony he'd have to go through if he dared to try and hit izana.

"well this was such a welcoming party." izana grumbled, walking away from the brothers and popping open the liquor cabinet.

“didn’t we have a welcoming party just last week?” kakucho asked, sliding on top of the counter near the fridge.

“what? that girl’s engagement party?” izana snorted, looking back at the haitani brothers with a smirk.

rindou rolled his eyes and begun heading upstairs, scowl deep on his face.

everyone thought this was a fucking joke. like his long time feelings for someone was harshly crushed before his eyes was funny.

“hey what about my hokey pokey?” izana asked, holding his hands up with a frown.

~

rindou sat on the swinging seat of his balcony, spliff in his hand as his eyes were closed. he enjoyed the night air in roppongi.

he heard ran’s sliding door open, but stayed silent. if it was his brother, he didn’t have anything to say.

if it was kakucho, maybe he’d say a few words. he doubts they’ll be nice though.

he doesn’t know how he’ll react if it’s izana.

so he decides on keeping his eyes closed, sprawling out on the seat and keeping the spliff in his grasp.

“that big ass seat and you’re taking it all up for yourself?” izana chuckled, nudging his legs off to sit.

“ran has one. use it.” rindou said quickly, keeping his eyes closed.

“but look at where the blunt is~” izana cooed teasingly, snatching the blunt from him and putting it in his mouth.

rindou sighed and looked at izana, who was looking right back at him.

“heard you lost the big v to her.” izana said, leaning back and taking a pull from the blunt.

rindou nodded, fixing his position to get comfortable. ran must’ve told him the night of the party.

“did you enjoy it?” izana asked cheekily, nudging rindou with his elbow.

rindou chuckled, shrugging the older man off him. “yeah. i did. we went for at least 5.” rindou sighed.

“five minutes?! jesus-” “five rounds asshole.” rindou cut the older male off, shooting him a look.

izana laughed, handing rindou back the spliff and watching him take a pull off it.

“remember when we first met?” izana asked, closing his eyes and leaning back.

“you gave me one of the worst ass beatings of my life. how could i forget?” rindou chuckled, blowing the smoke out of his nose.

izana nodded, dusting off his shoulders with a smile. mother fucker was still proud of himself.

“you were so much weaker then. you’ve gotten stronger now. more balls too.” izana admitted, holding his hand out.

rindou scoffed, handing him the blunt and looking at him.

“but you’re still the soft hearted rinball i knew.” izana smiled, fixing his posture and taking a pull before tossing the roach off the balcony.

rindou rolled his eyes, opening his phone and checking the time. it was almost one in the morning.

he turned off his phone and leaned back, closing his eyes once more and sighing.

“tell me about her rin. it’s been half a year, and i haven’t heard from you. catch me up.” izana suggested, flicking the new piercing rindou had gotten.

he winced, slapping izana’s tan hand away from his ear.

the piercing he got was a daith one. the one to help with migraines.

izana knew rindou had been prone to them for the entire time izana knew he existed. it was one of the things they had in common.

rindou remembered that, which is why he told izana everything in excruciating detail.

minus the sex part of course.

he rambled about his birthday, when he went out, that fucking inupi, how you had chosen inupi over him, everything.

and izana listened.

izana turned his phone off and gave rindou his upmost attention, even responding with exaggerated answers.

but when rindou was finished, izana had realized the state he put himself in.

embarrassment.

it was one of those situations where you don’t feel embarrassed until it’s verbally pointed out.

izana sighed, leaning back and thinking about everything rindou had said to him for the past half hour or so.

“why don’t you just.. kill him?” izana asked, looking over at rindou with a confused expression.

rindou sighed, playing with his fingers and frowning. “for what? a girl that won’t even blink my way anymore?” rindou muttered.

“point taken.” izana responded, crossing his arms and thinking.

the two of them sat in complete silence for the first time that night, not knowing what to say or what to do.

“but rin. life goes on. you can’t let her ruin everything. that’s what she wants.” izana said, facing the younger man.

rindou didn’t budge.

“she’s getting married to a man that i’m 89 percent sure doesn’t even want her forreal.” izana chuckled, shaking his head.

rindou looked at him confused. “why do you say that?” rindou asked.

izana looked back at him and raised his eyebrow. “you remember kokono? hajime kokonoii?” izana asked.

rindou blinked quietly, trying to remember who he was.

“dickhead, he asked you for the mic at the party last week.” izana groaned in annoyance, glaring at rindou.

rindou nodded, deciding to pretend to know who the fuck izana was about to tell him about.

“it’s taking every bone in my body not to punch the shit out of you. the moneymaker of tenjiku.” izana said, running his hands through his hair.

“that guy!” rindou exclaimed, sitting up from his seat with wide eyes.

that’s why he was so casual in asking for the mic at the party! he knew rindou before he’d gone to college!

izana groaned and leaned back. god just couldn’t spare rindou a bit more braincells when making him?

“anyways. i’m 65 percent sure they were about to fuck in that bathroom before the announcement.” izana sighed, looking at rindou.

rindou raised his eyebrow in confusion and looked at izana. he had a serious expression on his face.

“i won’t go into detail and i wouldn’t say this to anyone. but just know. dicks in mouths.” izana said, lifting his hands in surrender.

rindou rolled his eyes and tried to get the image out of his head.

“all i’m saying is don’t get too butthurt over it. she’ll be back.” izana stated, waving him off.

“how are you so sure?” rindou asked, standing up and watching him begin to walk away.

izana stopped in his footsteps and turned to rindou, bewildered.

“i’m izana motherfuckin kurokawa. i’ve been wrong 20 percent of my life.” izana said, crossing his arms in defense.

rindou raised his eyebrow and mocked his stance, staring at izana.

izana sighed and turned back to the door, opening it and walking in while muttering ‘maybe 25′ loud enough for rindou to hear.

at least it made him giggle.

tagsss ~ @sleeplessreader @haitani-bruv @cyborgciderman2 @jojxba @k3rrpii @rinrinfoxy @rinsie @m4ymay @eroscastle @thisbicc @leviandarminfavscout @mouse-teagreat @lollevi @awkwardaardvarkforever​ @shuujin @fairybimb0

[apomaro-mellow]

I just realized that the way the boops work just sounds like an April Fools prank

"Yeah if you want the super boop, just hop up and down three times and shout 'macaroni dandy'."

"There's an even specialer version called the Evil Boop and to get that one you have to pour tomato sauce down your pants and do the hokey pokey."

[vinluco]

Max Headroom is Acespec

a theory by Me! (An asexual person)

Tl;dr: Max understands what sexual attraction is (thanks to Edison's memories), and understands the power it has. It's a part of his brand and image, but isn't something he concerns himself with. Mans is more concerned with taking down corrupt business practices and entertainment than doing the horizontal hokey-pokey, ya nasty.

hi Max Moots! sorry i've been gone for a while (also, sorry for missing Max's broadcast day), but I hope this makes up for it. This is a theory i've been microwaving in my head for a while.

without further ado:

Max Headroom is Acespec, and there is much evidence pointing to it. He will use sex for his image, and to get what he wants, but he does not feel sexual attraction.

to start this, i need to stress the difference between an electromorph (in the Max Headroom franchise/universe) and an artificial intelligence. They are different things.

An Electromorph:

○can be defined as: "A unique intelligence existing in a cyberspace capable of communicating through audio/visual means; can feel and express humanistic desires and emotions, as well as form own opinions on knowledge and media." (personal definition, helped from "Whackets" (S2E5, 1987 series)

○has the capability of being SMARTER than the people that programmed it, able to learn and gather information on its own without being fed it.

○can feel human emotions and experiences. they can express emotions (e.g happiness, sadness, arousal, anger, ect.) and feel things like pain, sexual climax, and succumb to addiction. ("Whackets", as well as "Security Systems," (S1E4)

An Artificial Intelligence:

○Is defined as: "the theory and development of computer systems able to perform tasks that normally require human intelligence, such as visual perception, speech recognition, decision-making, and translation between languages." (Oxford)

○cannot feel human emotions/experiences (can SIMULATE them, i.e: chatbots and the like, but cannot FEEL them.)

○Only as smart as the information it is fed/trained on (i.e, what programs it.)

Max has memories of Edison Carter (his human counterpart) engaging in sexual intercourse, and therefore knows what sex is (to an extent, will be touched on later.) This theory, however, is crafted to bring forth the theory that not only is Max asexual, but uses it for his image and brand.

Headroom, in himself, is meant to be an electromorphic intelligence made by Network 23 executives to both drive up ratings and be controlled for media purposes. His personality was molded by being exposed to every television channel on-air (at the time) at once, causing him to take on the persona of a gaudy TV host. On the surface, Max is a cheery, fun-loving guy with a passion for golf and hosting. Underneath that, however, is a greedy, borderline-conservative, angry personality who yells at staff and producers and is only obsessed with his image. A LITERAL "talking head," if you will.

His hyper-masculinization, you'd believe, would make him attracted to sex, right? Well, there is much evidence to prove that incorrect.

The episode "Security Systems" (S1E4 of the 1987 series), Max assists Carter with gaining insider information into the background plans of a corrupt security company by seducing another electromorph, A-7, into giving him/Carter information. It is heavily implied from the interaction that not only can electromorphs feel sexual arousal and stimulation, but HAVE a form of sex.

A-7 gives Max this information after being seduced, with the security system herself being FULLY into it, moaning and making sexual comments, letting Headroom melt her servos just enough to let her walls down. She asks "Why have you penetrated my system?" Then: "Will you go deeper?" The writers obviously knew what they were doing, with another line having her excitedly gasping and remarking: "I've never been accessed like this before!"

Max responds to the afformentioned line with "I'll be gentle." He winks after, sporting his usual sardonic front. Max, unlike A-7, is getting nothing out of this. He is shown to be a very expressive individual, so if he were getting any kind of sexual gratification from this experience, he'd be FULL-ON doing something.

This points to Max using sexual intercourse and gratification for his image, but this isn't all there is pointing to this.

In his book, "Max Headroom's Guide to Life," the section: "Your Body: Be Grateful You Have One!" talks about sex. Max, in this section, tells a very sarcastic description of how sex works. He doesn't sugar-coat it, he doesn't say how passionate it is, or remark about how good it feels. He states, rather cynically: "If you put a man rabbit, with his... dingely-doo - into a cage with a lady rabbit, who hasn't got a... winkle-woggle... then...then...you get hundereds of them all over the place!! OK, is that clear? Fine, fine, no problems then - fine!" (Hansen, Owen, 51)***

If Max were to lean into this persona he's built up: hyper-masculine and lady-loving, you'd expect him to go into detail about how great sex is, no? Instead, he uses childish, sarcastic language.

Max understands sex, and he understands that people use it to get things. Electromorphs can FEEL sexual climax, as per the mention of A-7, but Max does not seem to care all that much. He uses it to get what he wants, and expresses cynical feelings regarding it as a whole.

In conclusion, Max Headroom is asexual.

***Just a page before, Max said gay rights, which I think is really sweet.

Resources (not properly cited in any format)

Max Headroom TV series, episodes "Whackets" (S2E5) and "Security Systems" (S1E4) (1987)

Maxheadroom.com (help with direct quotes)

https://archive.org/embed/max-headroom-complete

[lemonade-sundae]

Dirty talk

This is my first time writing a fic, sorry if it’s bad. Not edited :) Summary: In which Sebastian tries out new lingo. Warning: +18, light smut, dirty talking gone wrong. Minors do not interact

The soft sound of gasping peppers through the Room of Requirement. Your groan echos as Sebastian adds another appendage, his lips pressed against your ear as his mutters on about how good you feel and how wet you are with just his fingers. You roll your head back against his shoulder as he kiss down your neck, arms wrapped around you.

You’re enjoying this, naked and nestled in his lap with his limbs encasing you, your back against his bare chest, his warmth radiating from his body as his fingers slide in and out of you. You feel so safe in his arms, and my God does it also feel so good.

Today is one of those lazy mornings, with you waking up beside Sebastian, snuggled up together from your late night rendezvous. Everything was just fine and peachy until Sebastian inherently decides to begin his epilogue to last night’s events.

You gasp and moan as Sebastian’s fingers curl up and pull out, only to dig back in, repeating as to draw out the string of responses his heart so desires. He kisses the side of your temple as he reduces you to a whimpering puddle under his careful ministrations.

“Sebastian,” you gasp, “more, please, more.”

Damn him and his long fingers, having no business in making you feel this good.

Sebastian chuckles, the low rumble reverberating off his chest. His lips graze your ear, nuzzling the little nook. He takes a nibble of your lobe before sighing into you, sending a shiver down your body. You whimper and whine as you wiggling against him and you feel him smirk against you ear.

“You like that don’t you? You like how my fingers feel inside your pretty little hole, don’t you?”

He breathes down your neck, and you groan at his voice, nodding as you squeeze your eyes shut, tightening the walls around his fingers as he curses under his breath. “How about it? How about taking a ride on my Cock Rocket?”

“Yes pleas— wha—?”

You blink, stirred from your hazy reveries.

Did you hear that right?

Cock… Rocket?

Giving you no time to properly process his words or even assess the situation, Sebastian tightens his limbs around you — all arms and legs — before thrusting his hips against you, letting you know of his particularly hard presence desperate for attention.

“Don’t you want my Meat Torpedo?”

You whip you head around, eyes as big as saucers and you are met with that shit-eating grin practically screaming with glee.

“I know you want my Hokey Pokey.”

You cringe.

That’s it. You snap your head forward ready to push yourself off, but he wasn’t having any of it. No, his arms tighten around you like a snake as he slithers his fingers deeper into you, pulling out string after string of whimpers and reducing you into nothing but pudding.

“Come on, I’ll make you feel good,” he smirks playfully against the shell of your ear before he shifts his weight entirely. The next thing you know is you’re on your stomach, ass up, arms and legs sprawled beneath you and the weight of Sebastian atop of you. You feel his member brush up against your slit and you suck in a hiss as the head pulses against your pooling wetness.

Ohhh you want his cock and you want it bad.

You whine under him and you hear him laughing as he teases you by drawing circles against your dampness. And just as you were about to open your mouth, demanding that he just stick it in already, he thrusts into you. deep.

You gasp for air, the sharp stinging from the intrusion sends a shockwave through you body as you try to pace your quivering breath. Sebastian trails light, delicate kisses up the curve of your back and down your ear, whispering sweet encouragements as he gives you time. His thumb drawing slow circles on the side of your hip as he coos in his attempts to soothe the pain. It’s not until he hears you sigh, the telltale sign of you being fully stretched out, does he smirk and gives you a tentative thrust.

“You like this, don’t you? My Candy Sandy.”

“S-Sandy?!”

Your expression is contoured into a mixture of disgruntled disgust and disbelief.

“Y-you’re naming your cock Sandy!?”

You begrudgingly moan as you feel him twitch inside you. He chuckles as he plants a kiss on your cheek before whispering.

“What? Do you want me to call it my Cleaner Weiner instead?”

Your face drops, mouth gaping at the atrocity that just came out of his mouth. Your head whips around to see him wiggling his eyebrows, sporting a hell of a smug grin. If you weren’t so shell-shocked you would have slapped that grin off his face. Sebastian tosses his head back in howling laughter as he savours your look of utter disbelief. He licks his lips, eyes narrowing as if a predator eyeing his prey and he presses his twitching cock deeper into you. He hunkers down on you, trapping you in his arms as he grinds against you, giddy with delight at your miserable attempts to escape.

Needless to say, that whole ordeal went down for the entire duration he pounded you — with you thrashing away under him, desperately trying to get away while he pins you down and whispering those God awful descriptors, bringing your libido to an all time low.

But…

In a way, the fact that you had no control, helplessly flailing under his grip as he whispered into you ear, and that ceaseless thrusting of his…. kinda turned you on.

Your endless moaning soon joins his more desperate pantings. He’s close and you can feel it.

“You like my Sandy, don’t you? My Candy Sandy. Oh fuck— I love how you’re so tight wrapped around it.”

He picks up his pace, biting into your shoulder. His already vice like grip on you tightens further as he angles his hips higher, hitting that sweet, sweet spot of yours. He pounds you senseless. You clutch your jaws as you clench, your walls constricting around him and he curses as you feel the delicious sensation of his hardness inside you. You groan, panting and squirming against the mattress as he pushes into you deeper and harder. You scream.

“Shit, shit, Sebastian I’m close, I’m so fucking close!”

You feel him tighten his jaw as he grunts against you, struggling to get one of his hands down between your legs to rub that little ball of nerves.

“Then come baby, come for me.”

You grip the sheets, wailing, the overwhelming sensation comes bursting, opening the dams of restraint and flooding your body with pleasure. You scream into the sheets as your body twitches, shaking as ecstasy courses through every cell of your being. Sebastian press kisses to the side of your face, his own pounding becoming more frantic in search of release. With a few more thrusts, he follows. Grunting deeply, his body contorts as he spills into you. He rides it out before slumping against your whimpering body, never ceasing to plant kisses wherever he can.

When he finally pulls off you, you’re a heaping mess, sweaty and cum filled. You wiggle your way up onto your knees before turning to face Sebastian, who is laying there, sprawled out on the bed, chest heaving. He give you his signature smug grin, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

“Did you like Sandy?”

He flexes his flaccid cock at you and you snort, giving Sebastian a dirty pointed look. But then an idea flashes and a mischievous grin makes its way to your face as you muster up your best sultry look.

“I mean, don’t you want a taste of my Wetty Teddy?”

You wiggle your eyebrows excessively while you playfully brush a hand up his thigh, fingers barely ghosting the sensitive flesh. Sebastian raises an eyebrow, clearly amused, but a dangerous glint flickers through his eyes. Before you can begin to register just how much shit your teasing has gotten you into, he’s already smiling slyly as he gets up to part your knees before taking a deep inhale of your musk as he comes face to face with your dripping center. He nuzzles his nose against the side of your inner thigh, planting a ginger kiss. His eyes never leaves yours as you feel the beginnings of a smirk form against your skin.

“Oh I’m more than happy to eat out that Cummy Tummy of yours.”

Shit.

You are regretting this already.

The next series of events comes as a blur. Your back hits the mattress as you arc upwards, hands gripping harshly at the dirty brown locks as you hiss at the overwhelming sensation of his tongue digging into you.

The last thing you remember before losing yourself to him was him mumbling something between your thighs— something along the lines of him filling himself up with your Honey Pot.

———————

Author’s note

Heh. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I was howling the entire time, couldn’t stop myself from grinning like an idiot. Hehe

But in all seriousness.

Sandy and Teddy? A perfect match if you asked me.

[amphiptere-art]

I'm going to ramble about my jack-o-moon observations and theories here. (This is not Tsams)

Sooooooo. Jack (typing jack-o-Moon takes too long) has some interesting things. But to start this off. Let's first discuss my ideas of Fall fest.

So fall fest has been shoved into our faces a couple times. There has been some theories about what Fall fest is. My favorite theory is that it's some sort of older primal version of fazco (Probably going under another name) But I think that the Fall fest is some older version. Is that the playful characters that we know were created just for the establishments. But we're created prior in Fall fest. Even if they were costumes.

Anyways now that we know which fall fest theory I'm going about. I do think fall fest is where the first animatronics appeared. But definitely not the ones we know. I think Jack and maybe a couple of other circus looking guys were created first. Animatronics like Carny, balloon boy, Maybe the sister location people, and most importantly. Jack.

Yes I believe Jack is that old. Given the associations between the mimic and the DCA. As much as we might not want it, It is proof that they are old. I think Jack is literally the primal animatronic of the DCA. About as old as the mimic. And that Jack was repurposed into the DCA.

Which now we are going to get into some observations. I haven't gone over all of them and figure out what they mean. But I felt the context of where my brain was going would help with the context of my observations.

First observation I'm going to throw in your face is where Jack is. Jack is in a merry-go-round, and in the backstage of the foxy boat ride. First of all. I am pretty sure the carousel if anything is a refurbished item from Fall fest. Either that or it is legit from Fall fest. Now we have no idea of what sort of timeline is happening during help wanted 2. The location where many of these games are is in the Pizza Plex, sister location, And as far as I can tell Fall fest. Now given that everything FNAF lately has been really meta with games.

I am unsure if any of the games we play are real or not. They might literally be happening. Are recreations of certain events. Or are all hokey pokey and should not be trusted for lore. I'm going to go with reincarnations of certain events. Because that leads to some fun.

I'm going to put this little note here. Do two things that happen in the log ride. Mainly the glitchy next to Jack. I believe a part of him slipped into the game. I'll explain this later but it will help get some ideas down.

So the fall fest looking areas are recreated. Now this doesn't mean in my opinion that the characters have to be correct. If you were making a carnival and you knew that this robot or that robot was here. But you only had certain voices from one of the other. You would just work with what you got. So in my opinion the merry-go-round, despite using the DCA's current voice. Is actually just supposed to be Jack. They only used Sun and Moon's voice because they had nothing else to. They are the only living leftover of Jack. Not to mention that Jack doesn't technically have his own voice lines. It's all moons. So I think when this Jack appears, He's just using the voice that is available to him. But that's not his voice.

Which leads into another little fun thing. If Jack was only present in Fall fest. Why is he in the log boat ride. Well the simple matter of fact is that foxy's ride might have come from Fall fest. Even if then it wasn't a boat one. Like I said I think the worlds are reincarnations. And due to my little note before. I think Jack slipped in and took over games that were most familiar. Yes by that logic he could have gone into the dart game. But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the boat ride.

Jocko moon completely overrides the boat rides backstage. As far as I can tell in both help wanted and help wanted 2. Those games get taken over by the virus and start showing animatronics. I believe Jack is specifically in this one because it is familiar to him. Carny has the dart game. Perhaps Jack was never used in the dart game. Or he had a rivalry with Carny. Whichever way the boat ride was the closest to another Fall fest thing. So he decided to take that over instead.

Now let's get into the whole fact that jack Is even in the help wanted 2 files. Now this little theory is connected to a off-hand comment from another theorist. Basically they mentioned that Jack looks a little familiar to eclipse. The one that's stuck in the balloon boy arcade game. It makes a little bit of sense. He is a primarily dark shaded robot with glowing orange eyes and mouth. If it wasn't for the fact that Eclipse is all black and orange. They would really look similar to each other. And don't throw the fact that Jack doesn't have rays. He does! In his gallery he is seen with his rays. It is in my opinion he uses them interchangeably. The point is he has every good reason to look like arcade eclipse. And he can in a dark corner. So I believe the glitchy arcade Eclipse and Jack are one in the same. Eclipse as we see him in ruin is sun and moon's safety mode. Completely unrelated to the one inside of the arcade. Which I believe is either a fragment of Jack or him entirely.

Now on to my last bit of rambling. The Fall fest fire. It is evident that in both of the Fall fest like games they burn. Something happened at Fall fest. Now I do have the mental mentality to think that fall fest has been going on for at least a while after whatever this fire was. What now a fall fest happens during the time before the pizza plex. Whether it was some sort of temporary marketing while they rebooted the series I don't know. But I feel like whatever this fire was, definitely happened before that point. Anyways the fire. We're going to be talking primarily about the carousel. Since that's the one that Jack is in.

Some people might not know. But technically the fire spreads from the barn down to the carousel. Something happened to the barn. And I think Jack was in the carousel when it happened. It is very evident that Jack is in the carousel fire level. This can either mean two things. There is of course the option that Jack was the one to cause the fire in the barn and wandered down to the carousel for joyride. The other option is that Jack was in the carousel when the fire reached it. Seeking some safety that did not work. Depending on how you take Jack's gremlin behavior you could choose either. Either way I think the fire is a memory that Jack is connected to in the carousel. And that's why he specifically appeared there. The log ride might also be connected to a memory of Jack's. Of course it could just be that he wanted another place to rummage around in. Perhaps disconnected to the fire.

One more thing I might need to mention. Like I said I think eclipse in the arcade and Jack are connected somehow. It has become embarrassingly clear that the DCA is definitely in cahoots with glitch trap. Whether that be willing or not depends. Although I always think unwilling. Either way whatever happened to the DCA might have started with Jack. Jack might have had some glitch trap tampering at some point. Whether that was it when he was in limbo in security breach or way earlier is dependent. I like to think it happened during security breach because help wanted one and two do take place during the before and after time of security breach. I think Jack was the back door. Or at least got infected alongside moon. He jumped to the arcade Perhaps is some sort of safety. And maybe he traveled through the wires during ruin so that he could interact with our help wanted 2 protagonist. Either way I think Jack got infected and then jumped into the network of the pizzaplex. Whether fragmented or full doesn't matter. He got into the wires or transferred through some "old junk" when they were making the help wanted stuff.

And I think that's all my ramblings. They definitely could be organized better, but whatever. Maybe I'll fix them in another post later.

[crisp-nightime-air]

Here are me and my gf favourite dndaddies quotes. (Up until season 2 episode 23)

**spoilers to come

“I’m hungry and I kinda wanna fuck”

“He is my seed!!!”

“I burned down my first school!!”

“Who wants grape nuts?”

“No one!!!”

“Now two sad bags of bones that used to be people with hopes and dreams”

“Natures orgasm”

“Jizz likely”

“I’m wearing the condoms Ron!!!”

“ the Birkenstock’s were in you all along”

“If we all get into the fanny pack then the bear can get into the van”

“Daryl what do your dilf eyes see”

“Is that a d4 in your pocket or are you just that poorly endowed”

“It’s like watching a man chase down his very specific kink through tabletop role play”

“It’s role play masturbation”

“I can’t respect your choices when you don’t make good ones”

“You find more knives than not knives”

“Look at my butt hole dad”

“Yea look at his butthole”

“Balfazar drop me a fat ass poem”

“So your edging your cat??!???”

“Get yourself together the snake is dying”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me”

“Dick daddy”

“My cat has never nutted and will never nut”

“We don’t need seat belts where we’re going”

“The horse doesn’t get the money, Glenn”

“Mountain don’t think, mountain do”

“It’s like a bra for your penis”

“A bunch of sexualised but private part not having felines”

“Do they have BUTTHOLES??”

“I’m hard rock big huge”

“Eldritch candy emergency”

“The entire episode is spent inside Darrell's butt”

“The curious case of the poop in the bathroom”

“John the Baptist flipping through the Old Testament “ain’t no rules says it can’t happen””

“A homunculus made of confidence and urine”

“Trapped in a piss boy”

“Frankly my dear I don’t have a frank”

“You do the hokey pokey and you turn into an eight year old”

“Don’t you ,forget about yeet”

“Human sized bird on a tiny pony”

“I’m fully cocked”

“I hate it when I go to the grocery store looking for Tapatío and they’re like “We only have Old Assblower” and I’m like “Okay, fine.”

“A brief encounter with a problematic vampire”

“Father! The after life…it is dark”

“Because Glenn could not stop for Death, we kindly killed Glenn”

“I’m burnt out from caring”

“Tell me it’s comic sans and I will cum”

“Never send a Matt to do a Glenn’s work”

“Why don’t you come down here and punish me daddy”

“I’m not that easily penetrated”

“That’s the last time you gonna see anybody come”

“I don’t have to be nice I’m aerodynamic”

“A Real man belongs in a mouth”

“It’s like my dick, my ass, and my balls have all seen a ghost”

“Does your butt look like house md now”

“Down with the immigrant”

“Matt nipple play Arnold”

“I’m Beth miracle nip May”

“You can finger something without touching the sharp end”

“Goblin? On deez nuts??!!????!?”

“Women are friends not cubes”

“You can’t really do a battle cry on resolving conflict”

“Tomorrow might be m for mature but today is for e for everyone”

“You couldn’t do 30 seconds of childhood”

“FOMO fire opportunity murder other thing”

“I turn to my directionless hippie family”

“Disenfranchised acolytes of oakvale”

“My daddy is god! My daddy is god!”

“I am willing to psychically dominate your father”

“If it’s a private school…..how do you know about it?”

“Say something racist William campos”

“Have you ever watched a porn?????? No one wants to see the guys face!!!!!”

“I got a detention in my pants”

“You see in order…..the same man twice and a boy that’s wrong”

“My husband is an heiress”

“The Apple doesn’t fall far from the weeb”

“Goth the friend zone iguana”

“We clocked the teen boy at 30 miles an hour”

“Coming out of my mom and I was feeling just fine”

“Scorpion slut”

“I have never pleasures a woman in my life and I don’t plan on starting now”

“Dick Spencer’s the name dick pleasures the game”

“It’s time for centrist vegan ice cream”

“I don’t think the fbi can help with this growth”

“My one dad left because he saw how gross the growth is”

“That means they’ve listened to me jerkoff 67 times”

“A routeeny”

“I’m not the smartest kid in the shed”

“This hole was made for me”

“I’m gonna wrap my vajay around your neck”

“You hit him directly with your vagina”

“Let the yeast do its thing”

“I love to please when I get head to…damn”

“The raccoons name is laaannhehahheh”

“Can you order calzone people?

Oh yea like a stripper”

“Jsut order party calzones!!”

“Does he want sentient or none sentient calzones?

He said he doesn’t want feet on them”

“You see the price on the recipe after we charge you”

“The sensual ghost Italian music playing in the back”

“A woman shat in the bathroom”

“You wanna slide inside a calzone with dad”

“To old to share a calzone with your papa”

“It’s not gonna be pleasant in that calzone”

“I have returned to the woomussy”

“Deep inside your pizzussy”

“Hi my name is Matt Arnold known misogynist”

Hi I’m will campos known woman lover”

“Hi I’m Beth may known woman”

“My first kiss was a threesome”

“You hear the sphincter of the cat open”

“Guys act like calzones!!”

“There’s a nipple on the bus hot shot”

“My neck, my back, MY PUSSY BUS!!”

“New you would pussy out you would pussy in”

“Don’t get cocky kid this is the only pussy you’re ever getting in”

“The dick kids don’t fall far from the dick tree”

“It’s been two days since you last jerked”

“She Johnny on my Apple tell I seed”

“What ever revs your engine as long as I get to drive the car”

“Come here baby and hold your body against mine and rub it around a little bit”

“”We‘ll talk about in a second” is the Wilson fucking family crest”