#i have to make jokes about the gay ass shoulder rub!!!!

[nilovalentine]

the kazu mod likes 0709. the miko mod likes 0709. heh. heheh. hahAHA-

[polaroidcats]

You said "remus is too busy being in love with karl that he doesn't realize prongsfoot are in love with him" so what happens once he does realize prongsfoot are in love with him? Will they get all his attention or will karl always be his one true love? If so how do prongsfoot feel about it?

LLAMA!!!! finally getting around to answer this, I will preface it by saying I think the horny ghost of gay Karl Marx possessed me and I cannot be held accountable for what you're about to read! Also, after writing this I realized that I completely ignored the "in love with" part, so that'll have to wait for part 3, this part 2 of the antifa wolfstarbucks saga is more about bookshelves, horniness and practical examples of communism than it is about love, sorrynotsorry we will get to the love part eventually!

Okay so this is a direct continuation of the antifa wolfstarbucks post, here we go:

They're all dancing and Remus still feels a bit strange third wheeling a couple like that, Sirius and James are making out passionately and he would give them their privacy but he can't because one of his hands is locked with James's hand, and James's thumb is slowly rubbing circles on the knuckles of Remus's thumb. Meanwhile Sirius put one of his hands in the back pocket of Remus's jeans, which at first made Remus really excited because he thought it might finally be a clear sign that they are actually flirting with him, but then he remembers it's his left jeans pocket, where he keeps the communist manifesto, so Sirius probably just wants to feel a bit closer to Karl Marx while he's kissing his boyfriend, and Remus's ass cheek is simply collateral damage. Sirius keeps massaging his ass though, but Remus thinks he's probably doing that to soothe him so he's not too upset Sirius is taking advantage of Remus's communist manifesto instead of using his own...

That thought makes Remus look up at the bookshelves on the wall and his eyes automatically start searching for the communist manifesto. He can see 2 complete editions of Das Kapital in all their beauty, and there is a book wedged in between them but it looks a bit too big to be a copy of the communist manifesto. Remus disentangles himself from James and Sirius, who break their kiss to look at him but he doesn't even notice because now he's standing in front of the bookshelf, staring at a copy of Conjectures and Refutations by Karl Popper that sits in between the two editions of capital. Remus lets out a shocked gasp and takes the book from the shelf, looking for another space where it might fit in better, literally anywhere else will do but you can't just put Popper into a Marx sandwich, that should be illegal (even if the whole question of legality might be a bit complicated in this context, he thinks, chuckling to himself because he's so funny, making a joke about these silly anarchists who don't know how to properly organize a bookshelf. Did they organize it by author's first names or did they put Popper there on purpose? He can't even decide which option he finds more appalling). Remus settles on putting Popper next to Hayek, shuddering a little at the spectre of neoliberalism that haunts that section of the bookshelf. He quickly averts his gaze, not wanting to discover any other Mont Pèlerin society members and looks for something to soothe his mind when his eyes finally fall onto an edition of the Communist manifesto and other texts by Marx and Engels, right in between Hannah Arendt and Rosa Luxemburg and he starts to really question the sanity of whoever organized the bookshelf.

Suddenly he feels hands on his hips and Sirius is pressed against his back, resting his chin on Remus's shoulder and even through the book in his back pocket he can feel Sirius's arousal pressing against him... well, against him and Karl... Remus blushes hard at how much he enjoys that last thought and he's only a little bit embarrassed to admit that he is starting to get turned on by Sirius pressing against his back, knowing he still has the communist manifesto in his back pocket. He turns his face a bit to the left, where James is looking at the two of them with a fond expression.

"Are you okay with this Remus? If anything makes you uncomfortable please just say something and we will stop!" Remus looks at James, trying to decipher what he could have meant by that. Is Remus uncomfortable with their unorganized bookshelf? Well, yes, of course he is. But something (it might be Sirius's hands running all over his torso and occasionally brushing his nipples in a way that does not feel completely accidental, but Remus still isn't convinced Sirius is doing it on purpose) tells him this is about something else. Maybe James is asking permission to keep kissing Sirius in front of Remus, and if that is it Remus wants to scream YES! because even if he can never join them, he's so happy to be part of it in any small way they let him be. And if Sirius enjoys rubbing against his back and touching him, he might feel a little bit used knowing it's actually all for James (and maybe a little bit for Karl too) and not for him, but god, being used has never felt this good.

Remus looks James in the eyes and manages to sound almost normal when he says "I'm good, I'm just really happy to be here with you guys" with a trembling voice, while Sirius's hands keep exploring Remus's body in a way that makes Remus think about sharing his means of reproduction with the both them. James's face breaks into a big smile and by the sound of Sirius behind him, he's also very happy about it. As if on cue Sirius starts kissing Remus's neck and Remus thinks he might actually faint any second now because this is so much more than he could've ever hoped for, and it's also so surprising to him, since up until 5 minutes ago there had been no signs at all that these guys might actually be interested in him!! At some point he must've closed his eyes, just lost in the sensation of Sirius pressed against his back, hard, with his tongue and mouth and teeth exploring his neck, his back,...

Remus makes a very undignified sound when Sirius bites down on his shoulder and Sirius stops immediately and asks with a concerned voice "too much?" Remus doesn't know how to answer this without giving away how much more he wants from them so he just turns around and kisses Sirius to show him that nothing he has done so far has been too much, Remus is so greedy now, if he can only have them for a night, he wants nothing more than to turn "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" into a sexy, practical mantra. He's sure Marx would approve, he was all about acting on ideology and not just talking shit about theory after all, and Remus is so, so ready to act on that particular philosophy and give them everything he can and take all they are willing to give to him in return.

James seems to sense this shift in Remus's mood and gently grabs them both by their waists and starts massaging their lower backs while they continue making out. As soon as they break their kiss (far too soon for Remus's liking) James swoops in and pecks Sirius on the nose, which makes both of them giggle and share a look that's so intimate and full of love and adoration, Remus can't help but smile because he loves seeing them like that. Then James turns to Remus and looks at him with a clear question in his eyes. Remus can only manage a tiny nod, he wants this, he wants it so badly and he's afraid if he talks now he will ruin this perfect moment and make them reconsider everything so he doesn't dare. He just looks at James and tilts his head a bit to the right and towards James, who happily takes the hint and closes the distance between them.

[mycomfortblanket]

Like it's the First Time

Chapter One Written for Zukka Week 2024

Sokka is sitting at his favorite tea shop slurping his drink while scrolling through his phone when his roommate plops down in the chair across from him. Zuko drops his head down onto the table with a thump and grumbles something unintelligible. 

Without looking away from his phone, Sokka says, “Can’t understand you when your face is pressed into the table, numbnuts. We’ve been over this.” He clicks the lock button and sets his phone on the table to look at Zuko, his eyebrow raised expectantly. 

Sighing in that deeply dramatic way he does, Zuko picks his head up off the table and reaches behind him to untie his apron before pulling it up and off from around his neck, setting it down on the table. He purses his lips a little as if debating how to form the sentence. Eventually, he raises his chin and looks Sokka dead in the eye. The intensity of Zuko’s gaze makes Sokka sit up straighter, his eyebrows coming together in a worried furrow. “My dad is coming to town.” 

“Oh?” Sokka acknowledges in a low voice. For normal human beings, their parents coming to visit can cause a wide berth of emotions, but he has never met someone who has such a strong (and understandable) fear of their father while still maintaining contact. 

“And I need you to do me a favor,” Zuko continues. Sokka’s mind is instantly running with all of the things they are going to need to do if Zuko’s dad is as bad as he says he is (and Sokka has the horrifying feeling Zuko is downplaying a lot of things about his dad). 

“Yeah, sure, buddy. Name it.” 

“I need you to be my boyfriend for the week.” For a split second, Sokka thinks he is joking, that Zuko finally figured out how to make a gay joke except this one doesn’t make sense and the look in his eyes is deadly serious. 

Realizing he is 100% serious and there is no punchline, Sokka finally says, his voice cracking a little. “Okay, yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Can I ask why?” 

Zuko’s shoulders finally drop and he averts his eyes as if he is ashamed. Oh, Sokka thinks. That wasn’t even the hard part of this conversation. 

“I’m going to try and cut him off,” Zuko mumbles, his voice barely comprehensible enough for Sokak to fully grasp what he said. Zuko swallows hard but then sets his shoulders back, raises his chin, and looks Sokka in the eye again. “But I want him to see that I do have a boyfriend, that someone does actually want me. It’s going to be the most polite ‘fuck you’ I can manage.”

Sokka is nodding along even though he still isn’t fully understanding what the fuck Zuko is on about, but he is the type of friend that is a ride or die in any and every situation. “Right, totally,” Sokka says, still nodding. “And me pretending to be your boyfriend is going to do what exactly?”

“Zuko!” both of them turn their heads towards the counter of the tea shop and see Iroh, Zuko’s uncle, gesturing to the register where two women are currently looking at the menu. “Could you take these ladies’ orders while I brew up some more tea?” 

Sighing heavily, Zuko stands and grabs his apron, slipping it over his head, “We’ll talk about it more tonight.” Moving back towards the counter, Sokka’ eyes follow his movements and he thinks to himself, This is going to go so badly in so many different ways.

~~~

Sokka has his feet propped up on the coffee table as he munches on a bowl of CocoaPuffs while watching New Girl when the door to their apartment opens. Zuko comes shuffling in looking worse for wear as if his shift really kicked his ass. He falls down onto the couch with Sokka and rests his head on the back cushion. 

“I don’t think I can do customer service much longer,” he complains. 

Scooping up another bite of cereal, Sokka says, “I don’t know why you work there in the first place, it's not like you’re hurting for money or Iroh needs the help.” He takes another bite of cereal and looks over at his roommate. 

Sighing deeply, Zuko rubs the palm of his hands into his eyes, “I know. I don’t know why I do it either, I guess because it makes Uncle happy to have me around.” Zuko lifts his head up and stares at the bowl in Sokka’s hands, “Is that what you’re eating for dinner?”

Sokka is sensing that Zuko wants to avoid the topic of pretending to be boyfriends for a while, but putting things off has never been Sokka’s strong suit. He was more of a run into the burning building and worry about consequences later. He nods his head to Zuko’s question but starts in on the conversation from earlier. “So, this proposition…” He trails off letting Zuko decide  where he wants to take the conversation. 

“Yeah,” he sighs deeply, “I know it pounds fucking stupid and it’s not going to fucking work, but…” he looks down at his hands, his thumbs twiddling. 

“What made you decide to cut him off finally?” 

It’s a moment before Zuko answers and he sounds so dejected, “He called the other night and was telling me how I was amounting to nothing, why couldn’t I be like Azula- who, mind you, is not doing too well, but he doesn’t know that, I guess. But he continued on telling me no one is going to want someone who is-” he hesitates on the next word, “as pathetic as me,” he finishes lamely. 

“And so you told him you have a boyfriend,” Sokka tries to finish for him.

“Yes and no… I just told him I was dating someone.” Zuko glances up at Sokka and he watches as realization dawns on his face. 

“Oh, okay. So this is like ‘Hey, I’m gay and there’s really nothing you can do about it so fuck off’ kind of thing?” Zuko gives him an attempt at a smile that is mostly apologetic. Sokka thinks about it for a moment, would they actually be able to pull something like this off? Flirting with Zuko would be no problem. Sokka’s bi-awakening had occurred the day the two of them moved in together four years ago. The guy is fucking hot, despite the massive scar that takes up a third of his face; actually, his scar increases his appeal. The fact that he doesn’t know the extent of his attractiveness makes it all the better. Sokka always has to restrain himself from staring a little too long when Zuko walks around the apartment shirtless, so no, flirting won’t be a problem. But the physical part of it might be a little difficult. 

Although okka can flirt with anyone, especially someone as hot as Zuko, it’s different when it comes to the physical stuff. He has no problem admitting a guy is attractive but actually doing something about it? Kissing him? That seems a little too far for what he is comfortable with- he only fully accepted his bi-ness earlier that year. Before that, it was complete denial and several long talks to himself in the mirror. 

Zuko’s panicked look grows the longer Sokka is quiet and he isi just about to say ‘forget it’ when Sokka exhales long, “Okay. I’m all for the ‘fuck you’ part. As for the dating part,” Sokka hesitates. “I’m not going to lie to you dude, I don’t exactly know how comfortable I am with all of it. Flirting, sure… but the rest of it?” he shakes his head.  

“No, no. I totally get it. I don’t think there has to be more than just hand holding and maybe the occasional arm over the shoulders, I don’t think it will have to go to-” he swallows, “to do any of that.” Sokka nods to this. 

“Okay. Yeah, yeah let’s do it. Let’s fuck with your dad.” 

~~~

As the end of the week draws to a close, Zuko and Sokka have finished making their apartment look as presentable as possible. The mysterious stains on the couch have been scrubbed out, carpet shampooed and vacuumed, and they even managed to put the tv stand together rather than still having it in the box with the tv sitting on top of it. 

The day before Zuko’s dad is set to touch down in their part of the country is probably one of the worst days they have had since they moved in together. Not because they’re fighting but because the tension and anxiety that is radiating off of Zuko can be felt throughout the apartment. The guy in question has been pacing up and down their flat for the past 30 minutes muttering to himself about possible scenarios that could go wrong. Sokka, having always been the more chill of the two, is lounging on the couch with his Lucky Charms watching as Zuko paces. 

“Dude, you’re going to wear a hole in the carpet if you don’t stop,” Sokka says around a mouthful. 

“What if he is immediately able to tell that we’re not together?” Zuko asks, biting at his nail, his eyebrows coming together in the middle. Sokak can see imaginary scenarios playing through Zuko’s mind and all the possible outcomes that could come from every single scenario. 

Taking another bite of cereal, Sokka sighs deeply. They’ve had this conversation several times over the past few weeks about how they were going to act around each other, around his dad, asd well as boundaries that should and shouldn’t be crossed. It’s only after he slurps the sugary remains of milk from his bowl and sets it down on the coffee table does he stand up and move into Zuko’s path. 

“Hey, man,” Sokka’s hands rest on Zuko’s shoulders, bringing him to a stop. Zuko looks up at him, the crease in his brow is still there along with his thumbnail between his teeth. “If we need to go over the rules again, we can. If you want to practice, we can. Just tell me what you need. Let’s not worry about it, let’s work through it, yeah?” 

Zuko nods his head, his thumb leaving his mouth but the furrow in his brow even deeper than before. He moves to sit down on the spot that Sokka had just occupied a moment before and he drops his head into his hands. Sokka, being the good man that he is, takes the empty bowl into the kitchen, rinses it, and places it in the dishwasher so that it’s not another thing that Zuko panics about. Coming back into the kitchen, Sokka sits down next to Zuko with a respectable distance between them, but close enough for whatever they’re about to do. .

“So, what exactly did you have in mind? Touching? Kissing?” Sokka says easily enough but it feels like his tongue is incredibly thick. His heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. He hasn’t touched another male since his sexual awakening and although he trusts Zuko with everything and has no problem doing this for Zuko, a part of him is a little disappointed that all of his firsts with a guy are going to be fake. 

“Let’s just start simple. I don’t think it would go much further than physical contact like hand holding,” Zuko says in a low voice and then holds his hand palm up resting on his knee. Sokka stares at it for a second and then slowly raises his own hand and interlaces their fingers together. 

Sokka lets out a breath and laughs a little. He doesn’t know why he hesitated so hard about holding Zuko’s hand. It’s not the first time they’ve held hands. Their friend group is pretty touchy and sometimes, the games they play require physical contact like this. Maybe it’s because it’s more than just holding hands this time. It actually means something to Sokka this time unlike last time when it was a game. 

“Yeah? Good for more?” he asks Zuko and looks up from their clasped hands. 

“Seems like I’m the one that should be asking that. You seemed kind of shocked there for a moment.”

Sokka laughs again and looks back down at their hands, “No, I’m good. Just… I don’t know. I’m good, let’s continue.” 

Zuko nods and bites his lip a little. “Could I kiss you?” 

Sokka jerks his gaze up and maybe Zuko can read the panic in his eyes because he immediately backtracks, “I meant on the cheek. Can I kiss you on the cheek?” 

Oh. Right. He literally just said that it wouldn’t have to go further than the physical contact and while a kiss on the cheek is just a smidge further, it’s not necessarily the worst thing in the world. He nods his head and then turns his head so he is facing forward, waiting for the kiss. 

Zuko scooches over a little until they’re pressed together from their hips and along their thighs to their knees. He leans in slowly and Sokka feels his breath caress his cheek a split second before his lips do. Immediately, once they make contact, Sokka’s eyes close and he sucks in a breath. 

The kiss to his cheek isn’t anything scandalous, nor is Zuko pressing into him heavily. If anything, it’s the barest of touches, could probably hardly be considered a kiss. When he pulls away, Sokka turns his head to face Zuko and they’re close. Incredibly close. There’s a slight blush on Zuko’s cheeks, not prominent enough that Sokka would’ve noticed if they were standing apart like they normally do, but since they’re so close… 

Sokka licks his lips and he can’t tear his eyes away from Zuko’s. Had they always been this enticing? Up close, there are honey colored specs littered among the depths of brown. His eyes roam over Zuko’s cheeks, taking in the ever so light freckles that dust the bridge of his nose, the slight ridges of his scar, the thickness of his eyebrows. He takes it all in like he is seeing Zuko for the first time. 

He swallows hard and pulls back a little. “That was good, right? You felt good doing that, felt normal enough?”

Zuko clears his throat and pulls away as well, “Yeah. I think we’re good. Shouldn’t be anything more than that I think.” 

Sokka nods and stands up, “Right. Well, I need to,” he gestures towards his room and Zuko nods looking away. Sokka walks to his room and closes the door as gently as he can and then rests his back against it, releasing a large breath. 

There’s absolutely no reason it felt like that…right?

[redwayfarers]

just desserts

Fandom: Wayfarer Ship: Cassander Inteus/Melchior Larkspur/Kathan Sero Characters: Cassander Inteus, Kathan Sero, Melchior Larkspur Rating: Explicit (minors don't read) Words: 1771 Spoilers: None // modern au Huge thank you to @melusinedreams for borrowing her most feral babygirl Kathan to me <;3 read on ao3 divider by @saradika

He comes home earlier than usual. I didn’t hear him, with how loud the music plays in the kitchen; I have an article to write about this new up and coming band - given to me because I’m apparently good at my job and because, and I quote, “they talk about the gay love.” Fair enough, though I’m bisexual thank you very much, the gay stuff is still something I’m familiar with. Maybe she’d seen my podcast about it. Either way, their music’s good - largely pop, but that’s as neutral as having ears is - and it sounds far better than the noises of cooking right now. 

Chopping veggies isn’t as appealing of a noise when I’m right in the head as it is when I’m not. Arguably, I’m never right in the head, but there’s degrees to this shit, okay? Sometimes making phone calls is scary. Sometimes the boss sends me home because I’m biting people like an overstretched chihuahua. Sometimes silence is an oppressive weight that feels more like chains than a weighted blanket. And other times, silence is simply annoying and I’m turning the music on and functioning like a normal fucking member of society. 

With some extra meds, but hey. Who the fuck keeps count anyway? 

So yeah, I don’t see him coming, haven’t even anticipated him coming this soon, so when I suddenly feel hands around my waist and lips on my cheek, I let out a startled yell and only to find he’d paused the music for a second and is laughing. The audacity. 

“Hello, my little songbird,” Mel chirps, and I sigh. 

“Hello, spymaster.” I chop the last of the tomatoes and put them in a bowl with the rest of the vegetables. “You’re.. Early? Did Kit kick you out for being too harsh on some line performance?” 

Mel laughs and kisses me. He tastes like coffee and mint. “On the contrary! They performed superbly and I finished early.” 

“You think it’ll be perfect by the premiere?” 

“Unless someone fucks something up extremely badly, which I highly doubt, then yes.” He buries his head in my shoulder and breathes in. Granted, cooking is a good scent half the time, so he’s smelling some really tasty stuff, probably. “Your wryness is rubbing off on me.” 

“You’re too old for that. Seen too much. I think I just make it juicier. More acerbic. I’m bittering this old lemon again.” I shake my head and laugh. “Or a blueberry? Are blueberries acerbic? Hold on, I have to google that now.” I look around to where my phone is, but end up hitting my cheekbone into his temple. He is a warm pressure against my back, and his hands are sliding up and down my sides. “I do think this particular blueberry has a case of… blue balls.” Pause. “Please don’t laugh at that. It’ll shame us both.”   

Then, another voice rings from outside of the kitchen. Kathan sounds as fake about it as I do when I try to speak like my mother does. “Cassander, you are an embarrassment to this household. I would like to think I had thought you better than this.” 

“Don’t worry, Kathan, he’s having a taste of those blueberries later,” Mel shouts back and I stare at the counter like it will save me from my partners ganging up on me like this. I open my mouth, consider saying whatever the fuck my brain cooks up at this point to save my scrawny ass, and throw all caution away like an ugly t-shirt. 

“Kathan, if you have issues with my jokes, then you should take it up with the clown university where I got them from. Their worksheets. They’re in my room somewhere, right beneath my clown degree.” 

Mel shakes with laughter. “You’re a delight, Cassander,” he says between laughs, and warmth spreads all over my chest. Some days I can hardly believe my luck that I met the two of them, and that we’d be here, living together, cracking silly jokes in what feels like domestic bliss. Not that I have anything to compare it to, but still. Then, Mel’s voice goes low, though still chipper. “Do you know how you’d be an even more of a delight?” 

It makes me swallow. “Tasting the blueberry?” 

“Hmm, not quite yet. I don’t think you’ve been a good enough boy for that, with all your offenses against language in the last 20 minutes.” 

I fight the urge to squirm. “You’re really not holding back, huh,” I whisper and he kisses my cheek. His hand slides to my belly and promises to dip lower, but doesn’t. I look down to where his fingers are toying with my shirt. “So, however will I atone for my sins, Daddy?” I know, I know, I shouldn’t sound so derisive about it, but it comes out as a half-mocking. Oops. 

“What are you making?” he asks firmly and his tone offers no room for ignoring. The doors slide open and Kathan stands there, arms crossed, watching with avid interest. 

“Just some pasta with veggies,” I say, looking at the bowl. “Haven’t started the pasta yet.” 

“Good. You won’t for a while.” For fuck’s sake, I’m such a goner now. “Cover the vegetables with something and come with me to the bedroom.” 

“Aren’t you hungry after a long day of work?” I try, holding onto the counter. He doesn’t look tired. If anything, he looks about ready to do whatever the fuck he wants to do with me. Food’s the last thing on his mind right now. 

“I can cook the pasta later, after we get that vibrating cock ring we’ve gotten recently,” he simply says. 

“No. You’re fucking with me right now.” Last time we used that fucking thing, he made me cry from denial. Cry. Big, fat, ugly tears, no thought, only desperation and… blue balls kinda cry. I bury my face in my hands and laugh. I suppose I am into it, if the fact I’m half-hard from all of this already is any indication. And I suppose I should’ve stopped at some point, but hey. At least he’s so hot like this, all in charge and in control, king of the castle or whatever. All he needs is a crown. For the aesthetic of it all. I’m bending like a wet napkin already. 

“Should’ve considered your words, baby,” Kathan says with intention. “No use crying over spilled milk!” 

“I hate you so much, actually. I swear to anyone who’s listening, I’m moving that music degree up the wall.” 

“You’re not helping your case whatsoever, sweetheart,” Melchior says, and moves a hand to stroke up my neck. “She’s not at fault here. If anything, you’re just adding more reasons for that cock ring.” He then looks me in the eye. His gaze is smoldering. “But you want it, do you not? You want it so desperately you are willing to act out to get it?”

Breaking eye contact is a struggle. The room falls down to us, to his hand on my skin, to the tips of our noses touching. He’s cutting off room to breathe, almost; but I don’t need air, not when he’s looking at me like that, not when that question hangs in the air. Kathan makes a noise in the background. The counter is my only refuge against the tension under my skin. 

Melchior has a way of doing that when he wants to, in a way nobody else does. When he traps me, it feels like safety. With him, the gates of the cage are wide open, but I want to stay inside the bars. A lifetime ago, I would’ve run away from that. Now, I don’t really feel like I need to. 

“Kiss me, please,” I say, unable to verbalize any of that. “Before the– the monster contraption, can you just kiss me? Please?” 

“Of course,” he says softly. The kiss is deep, yet gentle; his touch is less constricting, and it feels like a warm cocoon despite the fact that he’s about to be very fucking mean to me. The combination makes my head spin, a cocktail of hormones, feelings and hardons, and I hold on tight as his tongue plays with mine and guides it to where he needs it to be. Melchior’s hand slides down to cup my cock - a small, casual squeeze that has me moaning into his mouth before it’s gone far too soon. 

“You’re so responsive, darling,” he says and seals the words with a chaste kiss. “Too bad there won’t be any relief for you for this anytime soon.” 

And thus the softness of his presence crashes down and I tilt my head back and groan. “Are you sure I can’t write ‘I’m a good boy’ or something 100 times instead?” 

Melchior laughs. “I am.” He places a hand on my ass and squeezes. “Let’s go.” 

“By the time I’m back from work, will his punishment be done?” Kathan asks, and she sounds far too happy about it. Suspiciously happy, even. 

“And when do you come back from work?” Melchior asks Kathan, sounding entirely too considerate of the possible answer himself. Uh-oh. 

“What time is it..” She reaches for the phone in her pocket. “In about 5 hours? I’m coming home earlier today.” 

“What do you say, Cassander? Should Kathan see you orgasm when she comes back from work?” Melchior turns to me with the sharpest grin I’ve seen in months. His fangs are on display, murder weapons all four of them, and his hand squeezes my ass again. 

“I say I hate you both with the passion of a thousand suns,” I bite out, without any real heat. Five hours seems like an awful lot of time, but there’s some.. Fucking excitement! Anticipation!  For all the suffering he’s going to inflict on me for the next five hours! “But fine. Fine.” I try to sound as unaffected as I possibly can, but it’s a laughable and miserable attempt. “Will my punishment not affect access to veggie pasta?” 

“I will make you the most delicious veggie pasta,” Melchior laughs. “Hand-feed you, should you care for that. I even bought ice cream for later. We will save some for Kathan, of course. It’s hard work she’s doing, after all. We might as well give her a show, hm?” 

And since my mouth is actively conspiring against me, I reply, “Don’t forget the blueberries.” 

Melchior laughs yet again, gorgeously messily, and guides me to the start of the five hours of personalized, sexy hell, as Kathan waves us goodbye and leaves for work, laughing still. Hurray. 

Hu-fucking-ray.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Can I request a snippet of Pepa and Felix's first time doing anal?

Sorry you had to wait so long, BUTT a bitch has been busy (especially with the bruno and shadowman fic. Its over 20k so far, and that's with my shitty internet. Also I literally haven't been home in like a month- life shit, anyway, lets go!)

"Eso Pepi, eso~"

Pepa was REALLY feeling herself tonight, so she was having Félix look over her new lingerie she bought, and having him pick a favorite. From purple, orange, yellow, red. She saved the best for last; black. Oh it fit her so well, it was a little see through, a little lacey. He couldn't stand it. Pepa scowled a bit as she tried to look at her ass, gently cupping it in her hands.

"You like this one? You sure? I feel like it makes me look thin."

"Pepa, black makes you look fat as hell."

"...aw?"

Was it weird, the fact that a woman WANTED to be told she looked rather plump? Oh absolutely, but you had this man fucked up if you told him to NOT give her what she wanted. He patted his lap, gesturing for her to come take a seat.

"Bring that culo gordo over here, let me get a good look at it~"

She did as he said, sitting on his lap, and slowly scooting her ass right against his obvious bulge. Holy SHIT did that feel good. He wrapped an arm around her, holding her to kiss her neck, and slowly grinded himself against her.

"You're so excited for me, next time I should take you clothes shopping with me."

"Don't count on me behaving, not with an ass THIS nice~"

God, hearing that little moan from her when his cock rubbed against her little pussy. She chuckled, putting her hands on his, and having him hold onto her little hips. She was such a thin woman, it made it so easy to touch every bit of her. Oh, and the way she held his face to kiss his cheek, could kill a man.

"Is that your favorite part of me?"

"It's up there. But the list is pretty big. Like that ass."

She snorted against his face, and the rainbows over her head illuminated her pretty face.

"You're awful. Terrible. You need to fuck my pussy, and do it now."

"Actually...I was sort of hoping I could fuck something else."

"For the last time, Félix, my chest is too small for me to give you a tit job."

He kissed her shoulder, lightly shaking his head.

"First of all, no such thing. Second, no. I mean I want to fuck your ass."

"That's what I just said? Are you deaf?"

"No no, I don't think you understand me. I mean ACTUALLY your ass."

She scanned his face, confused, before it clicked.

"Oh! You mean- geez Félix, really?"

He shrugged. Listen, if you had a girl with an ass this nice, you'd want to TRY it.

"I mean. Yeah? If you don't want to, obviously not, but you did always say you'd be willing to try new things. Like the thigh job, you liked that."

She thought about it for a second, recalling just how much she liked feeling his cock all snug in between her thighs. She squished his cheeks, a bit of a pout on her lips.

"You promise you'll take care of me?"

He took her hand, and kissed her palm.

"Pepa, I'll take care of you even in my grave. I will treat you as delicate as a flower. Even though you literally bite people."

"Oye-you do that ONCE and you never hear the end of it. Fine. But,"

He was about to lean in for a kiss, when she held her finger up to him, halting him for a moment.

"YOU have to promise that at some point, in the future, I get to peg you."

He knew that look in Pepa's eyes. She was challenging him. She thought he was gonna pussy out on her. He huffed, and nodded sternly.

"Fine, deal."

She raised a brow at him, as if wondering if he was joking.

"Really? You know I'm serious, idiota."

"No no no, I'm serious. It seems only fair that what I do to you, you do to me."

She snorted, both in disbelief, and amusement.

"Alright. I've never had a boyfriend actually agree to that. They usually say it's gay."

"Its gay...to let a woman make you cum? Wow. I think we need a meeting to figure out what gay means. SOMEONE is confused."

She laughed, and the look she gave him when she scratched the hairs on his chin.

"We could keep the toy here? Mi mamá would KILL me if she knew I even knew what those were, and your mamá is pretty chill."

He nodded, thumbs slowly rubbing into her hips, just to remind her why he snuck her up to his room.

"Course. Privacy is actually a thing here. You can peg me, whenever you wanna call it. And in exchange...?"

He let his sentence hang there, and with a roll of her eyes, she finished it for him.

"You get to fuck my ass. Fine, I'm convinced."

"WOO!"

He brought his fists up in the air in triumph, and she chuckled, giving him a little kiss on his nose.

"Ay just tell me what you want me to do, Félix."

He got off the bed, and had her lay down on her front for him. After making sure she was comfortable, he slowly peeled off those black panties off of her, and he swore he'd pass out. Such a cute little ass, covered in freckles, all for him. He put the panties on the night stand, before his hands slowly trailed up her legs, before resting on her cheeks.

"Look at you...you're so beautiful. I love every part of you."

"You say that to all the girls."

"True. But I don't say it with all my heart, unlike you."

That made her chuckle. They both got around, and he loved that she never cared about that. He spread her cheeks, really digging into them with his thumbs, and it was gorgeous, watching her just blissfully accept his touches.

"You better mean that. I'll bite YOU next."

"Shit, is that a promise?"

He grinned as he kissed one of her cheeks, before kissing her hairy, soaked pussy. Once, twice, thrice. Just because he knew she liked it. He slowly trailed his tongue up her folds, before his tongue grazed over her asshole. It made her stiffen up, and he felt the exact same.

"You're SO gross."

"You just hate that you liked that."

He lifted himself up, reaching over to his nightstand for lube. After making sure his fingers were coated, he slid them down her asshole, down her pussy, and back and forth, soaking her ass in a mixture of lube and pussy juices. She looked comfortable enough, so he started to focus on what HE was interested in. He slowly rubbed at her asshole in little circles, and she squirmed in response.

"You okay?"

"Si. It's just. New. Dios, I can't believe I'm letting you do this."

"You want to stop?"

"You can stop TALKING and keep going."

He grinned at her sass, before doing as she said. He was a bit more firm with his touch, trying not to get TOO excited about her tight little asshole. He wasn’t her first, but he was going to take that anal virginity, and something about that REALLY got him going. He, ever so carefully, introduced a finger inside of her. He was slow, and he rubbed the small of her back with his other hand in comfort. She tensed up, just a bit, but seemed to otherwise be fine.

"There we go...such a good girl. You look SO pretty while you're being so good. Tell me if it hurts at all, okay?"

She nodded, and he continued. It took some time, but sure enough, she was able to take an entire finger. The sight of it made his dick strain against his pants even further, it hurt. But that didn't matter. She did. He tempted a second finger, and after a gasp on her end, he managed to get two in her, knuckle deep.

"M-mierda Félix..."

"You remember the safe word, right? Do you need to use it?"

"N-no. I'm good. It's just...new. You done this before?"

"Once. But not with someone I liked more than you."

He pushed them in and out slowly, trying to stretch her walls as much as he could without hurting her. It was difficult, he knew he was sweating, and not just from her gift heating up the room. Once he pulled his fingers away, he couldn't help but stare. She was wet, she was hot, all for him. He took off his pants and underwear, sighing in relief of freedom, before crawling on top of her. He let his cock graze her ass, just so she knew it was there. It made her body stiffen up again, and she turned to look up at him.

"This sounds silly, but I...I'm trusting you. You're a big boy, and I'd hate to throw you off of me, it'd really hurt you."

He felt the nerves melt away at her words. Even though she ssid it jokingly, she absolutely could send him to the floor if she wanted to. And something about knowing she could defend herself, soothed him.

"I'll be careful. Just talk to me in between, mi amor."

He leaned down to kiss her shoulder once more, before ever so slowly pushing himself into her. He fit his head inside, before stopping, just for a moment. Holy SHIT did that feel good. It fit around him so snug, he had to put one hand on his back board to brace himself.

"Félix, I'm okay, you can...put in more if you want."

"I'm stopping for me, Pepi!"

She wanted to laugh at him, but she knew that wasn't fair. They'd never genuinely laugh at each other for stopping or needing a breather in bed. They were young lovers, not porn stars. He took a minute to calm down and breathe, before slowly pushing in more. He eased himself in further, further still, till he was halfway inside of her. He could've fit more, she hadn't stopped him, but she seemed just SO tense.

"Félix it's f-fine-"

"Shh. This is good. This is great. YOU'RE great. I'm gonna move now, okay beautiful?"

He leaned down to kiss her cheek, and upon getting a nod, started to move. Just like his very first time ever, he started out slow, cautious. Then it started to feel good. REALLY fucking good. He found one of his hands drifting up her back, until it trickled up her neck, and gripped tightly onto her hair. Her hair was down, had been for a while, but for a moment, he wished he had those cute little twin tails to pull on.

"Don't you do it-!"

Too late. He already gave her hair a bit of a pull, and the sound that she made from it could lure men to their doom. It was enough for him to pick up his pace, introducing more into her tight ass.

"Shh. Papi's using his little toy right now. Hes fucking her little ass and pulling her pretty hair. She looks so pretty. God you look pretty taking my cock, baby."

She was finally starting to get into it. She was holding onto her pillow for dear life, not fighting him in the slightest.

"You're so...f-fucking heavy Félix."

That was never an issue for her. She LOVED how big he was, and he totally abused it. He wrapped her long hair around his hand, and gave it a pull. She yelped loudly, just like a bitch in heat.

"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. WHAT is my name?"

When she didn’t answer, he brought his hand down on her ass with a good, HARD slap. He shouldn't be doing this so late at night, but FUCK the grip on his cock was making him not think clearly.

"Papi! I'm sorry! It's papi!"

"Good girl. So good for me. Think you can fit all of me now? Think you can take this balls right against your pussy?"

She nodded like a good girl, and sure enough, she took him entirely. Big, thick cock of his could barely fit, but for the sake of getting fucked, she made it work.

"P-papi you're making me be too lou-"

He pushed her head down onto the pillow, not really caring for other than his own pleasure right now. He didn't care who heard. Didn't care if his bed was creaking under his own weight. Just cared about the cute little lady getting fucked right under him. In his room, in his bed.

"You be loud Pepi. I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to make you want it so bad, you'll want me anywhere. In my bed, at the library- I want you ready to spread that ass for me, and let me dump into you."

He was so bad, fucking Alma's daughter like this. But he didn't care. If anything, it was sexy, knowing that she'd sneak out at night JUST get plowed by him. She'd get in trouble to have his cock, throbbing, inside her tiny little ass. The thought was enough for him to put his full weight onto her, and cum. He kept his grip tight on her head as he dumped into her. He loved the fact that she no longer wanted to use condoms with him, it made the sensation of pouring into her ass even better.

He stood there, waiting for the ribbons of cum to finish painting her insides, before slowly pulling out of her. Her asshole was gaping, cum leaking out of it and onto her bare pussy. It looked SO sexy, watching her rub it into her folds.

"You came BEFORE me, idiota! I'm going to-!"

"Keep rubbing that pussy for me."

He couldn't help it. He slid himself right back into her ruined hole, not giving a single shit as she moaned just right for him. He'd stop.

Butt he had no real excuse to do so.

---------------------

"You got it?"

"Si si, I got it, just keep holding it."

So it was WAY past her bedtime. On a school night. So what if she had to use the ladder that they hid behind the Casita to get her up to her room? No big deal. She made it, and crawled up through her window, just like the millions of times she did before. She was about to push the ladder down and say goodnight, when she noticed that for some reason, he had climbed up too, and was now leaning against her window.

"Félix you know damn well you can't come into my room-"

"I wasn't planning to. I just. Really wanted to say thank you. I REALLY like spending time with you, and not just because you're hot, you know? I have fun witj you. And I really don't wanna go home, because that means leaving you."

Dammit. This stupid boy was not only just too cute for words, he was such a sweet talker. He could talk his way right into her heart, and unfortunately, he had. She was tempted to just yank him inside, but she knew better than to push her luck. Plus, her body was aching, and it was struggle to get up here as it were. She sighed, looking down at his big, stupid face (after fanning away the mist from her own, anyways).

"You'll see me tomorrow, estúpido."

"Thats SO far away though. The dreams I have of you aren't enough. You're incredible, Pepa Madrigal."

Oh god this was so going in the diary tonight. She resisted the urge to twirl her hair like some kind of mindless bimbo (even if she knew he'd find it cute), and put her hands on the window doors, getting ready to shut them.

"You'll see me at school tomorrow. You can fawn over me then."

"Promise?"

"Si."

"Wait! Can I at least get one more kiss before I go?"

"Oye, you can kiss me tomorrow! I don't want Casita to snitch on-"

Just then, Casita lifted the ladder up, just a bit, pushing Félix up. It was just enough to push his lips right onto hers. She'd never have the house do that to any of her other boyfriends. That must make Félix...special. Was he just a good guy? Did Casita finally see her as the grown up she was? Or...was he the one? Regardless, she relented, and kissed this stupid sexy man at her window, and it was something out of a story book. She mourned him as he eventually pulled away, but the sight was worth it.

Just this blushing, bulky, beautiful boy, staring up at her. He chuckled, averting his gaze for a moment to look at Casita.

"I...I think our secret is safe with Casita."

"Yeah, but not with me."

Pepa could scream. It just had to be Bruno. Suddenly his ass was next to Pepa's, eating sweets (even though he KNEW he wasn't supposed to). Pepa felt both herself, and her room thunder upon seeing this little shit.

"Why are you in my room!?"

"You keep the good chocolates in here. Honestly if you came in a minute later, I wouldn't have seen this. But oh well. Sucks when mami is gonna hear you've been sneaking off to see boys, and not 'get help with your math'".

Félix chuckled awkwardly, clearly trying to find some simpatico with him.

"Hey, Bruno, come on man, you wouldn’t rat out your amigo Félix, right?"

"Oh no, we're cool Félix. But me and Pepa? Not so much. Nothing against you though."

Pepa groaned, rubbing her forehead at the headache that was starting to form.

"What do you WANT, Bruno?"

"I wrote a play for school, but Ricky won't let me put it on. He likes you, so tell him you want my play for the school."

"Ricky? Like. Ricky Picky?"

Oh no. Not that guy. He had a HUGE crush on her (though who didn't?), and he was just. Awful. Even his nickname came from the fact that he picked his boogers a LOT, and wiped them on papers that he had a 'collection' of. He was just the grossest guy you could ever meet, and she made it a point to stay FAR away from him.

"No. No no no. Not Ricky."

"Yes, Ricky. Get my play on the screen, and maybe I won't tell Mami about your night time buddy."

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

Bruno held his finger up at her to stop her, brows raised in warning.

"You know one good scream, and mami is gonna come in here like the Casita is on fire. I'm not saying sleep the guy, just use your...what do they call it?"

"Feminine wiles?"

Bruno damn near gagged, wildly shaking his head.

"Ew. Gross. Don't ever use those words for my sister ever again. But yes, use that, get my play up there, and I'll forget this happened. Oh, and I want the white chocolate bar you keep in your dresser."

"Son of a...fine. Just, fine."

Bruno held such a smug look of pride, before nodding at Félix.

"See you Félix, have a good one."

"Bye Bruno."

After he took the chocolate, he left the room. Pepa groaned, trying SO hard not to thunder and ruin this otherwise perfect night.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Hey, my little brother would do the same, that's just how they are. How about after your date with Ricky, I take you out?"

"Call it a date and I'm killing BOTH of you. But...yes. You can take me to get some food. Maybe something with chocolate."

"Deal. Buenas noches hermosa~"

He leaned up to kiss her cheek, before climbing down the ladder, and disappearing into the night. Despite the constant hiding, Bruno having blackmail on her, and the sleepless nights, Pepa wouldn't take any of it back. Not for him.

[soft-boi-eli]

Mcyts helping a trans masc after top surgery. (Part 1)

Tw:swearing, pain pills, some hints to vomiting, fluff as well.

Wilbur

This simp...

Makes sure you regularly drain your drains, take your medication.

You dont even have to get the fuck up, I mean he's your personal butler until the doctor gave you the okay.

Three times a day you get a smoothie. He can tell that you dont want to eat because of the pain.

The least you can do is drink something to nurioush you while you were in pain.

If you're embarrassed about having to sleep on some dog pee pads for the drain. Dont be.

Wilbur may not understand but he will constantly comfort you. He'll even make a video to tell his viewers he won't be posting for a moment. A personal issues came up and that is all they know for now.

Also when cold he'll try to keep you warm by very, very gentle cuddles. But any sign of pain and he's off of you and getting you warm blankets and heating packs.

His sweaters? Now all yours. You have no say. He will give you one every day knowing you find alot of comfort in wearing his clothes.

The last thing he wants is you in pain. Especially if it was caused by him.

Your testosterone shot? Dont worry he's got it for you.

He doesn't want you to get up unless you needed to go to the restroom or you were itching to get up.

If you dont take it slow he will threaten you.

This is a threat. He will make you sit back down if you tried to get up and clean.

All in all he is a simp and your butler.

Technoblade

Technoblade may not know what to do but he will try.

He's quite nervous but when he realized you havent eaten and needed something in your system for your pain meds hell make you something soft and light on the stomach.

Are you cold? He'll cover you in a blanket and just sit next to you. Floof senses you in pain and cuddles you more then technoblade.

Techno was a bit butt hurt but knew that you needed alot of support right now.

With his height his clothes are either tight or loose. But his hoodies are always huge. And very fucking comfortable.

His scent relaxed you and helped you sleep at night.

He is a hidden simp.

He will make sure you're comfortable. If you want him to he'll sleep with you in the living room.

When you start walking him and Floof are constantly following you. Just to make sure you are safe and comfortable.

You cant help but love your two boys.

His streams and videos are already inconsistent but he did say his next video or stream might take a longer time.

But if you dont mind then you'll sit near him while he streams. If you needed anything he'll get it.

You saying hi to chat. They know you're in pain by your tone.

And anyone he's in a call with will ask what's up. And when you tell them they'll understand and they'll hype you up.

It warms techno's heart when his friends hype you up.

God this closeted simp is melting internally.

Schlatt

He will tease you.

Pictures are taken and spread around the internet like a wild fire.

Caption to those pictures?

This dumbass just got out of surgery and didnt expect to feel like trash lol.

But off camera he's quite the nice guy. Reminding you to drink your water, getting you soft foods or soups, heck he give you some of his pushies from his youtooz.

And this behemoth of a man will give you his shirt or hoodies.

You are with him when he streams or records.

There is no say.

He wants to keep his eyes on you and make sure you are comfortable and safe.

Lowkey dragged you bed into his recording room, you were just vibing in the corner.

You meds are on a set schedule. If the time lands when he's on stream he doesn't think. Just gets up grabs your meds and a premade smoothie.

With that he gave them to you.

Watching you swallow that pill because you can be stubborn with pain meds.

Returns to the stream.

Yells at chat for calling him a simp. He told them you were in pain and it's the least he can do for you.

Will low key rub your back off stream. As sleeping while sitting up us hell on your shoulders.

Jambo is all over you, soaking up the attention he can get while you were immobile.

Schlatt would glare st him for taking away his S/O.

When it came to you wanting to walk he will let you.

If you hurt then this man would laugh and tell you to sit your ass down. You are going anywhere just yet.

He's gonna carry you when you are in as much pain.

He's tall and there is no stopping him.

It makes him feel a bit happier due to the fact you aren't hurting as much, and still getting to the place you needed.

Also he will hug you if he sees you are uncomfortable. The hug is very soft and unlike him.

But at least he is trying.

He also keeps his yelling down, doesn't want you to make too many stiff movements. It would hurt the hell out of you.

Tommy

Ok. Hear me out, butler.

He see the pain you are in and as one of his best friends he wont let you do anything.

Your parents were out of town after your surgery and it wasn't their fault their work called in suddenly.

So you were sent over to Tommy's for the three weeks they were out.

Tommy would let you relax on his bed, heck even sleep on it as well.

Doesn't care if your drains stain the bed. That's an easy clean up and he wants you to be comfortable.

He does still stream. Because it's something he does for a living.

But he'll try to keep it a bit quieter.

You once walked out of the room when he was streaming. You looked like a gremlin, hunched over while you had to take a piss.

When you entered you were greeted by wilbur, techno, and phil telling you they hope you heal fast.

"It only gets better from now on (y/n). Take it easy alright?"-wilbur

"Congrats mate, just relax and dont forget to focus on healing."-Phil

"Yo you got the surgery. Pog. Stay healthy (y/n)."-techno

You melted lightly. A small smile graced your face.

It brought you joy and there was nothing that could compare to it. Honestly.

It seemed almost every day someone tommy knew was hopi g a speedy recovery.

He once yelled at chat for saying you should suck it up.

"CHAT THEY JUST WENT THROUGH SURGRY. LEAVE THEM ALONE!"

You forgot that your parents were even out for those weeks.

Tommy would definitely understand slightly that it would hurt to constrict your chest.

"You cold?"

When you nod tommy is up and handing you one of his hoodies. They are big and comfy. Easy to put on too. So they are perfect.

His two dogs, Walter and Betty?

Expect them in his room curled around you. Dogs know when humans feel pain and when they need something to comfort them.

The stream kind of enjoyed that.

They got wholesome content from you and dog content.

Win win.

Tommy will make sure you have your meds.

If it lands during a stream he blacks out the camera and carefully gets you the things needed for it.

Get you a best friend like tommy.

They wont let you do much when in pain.

Tubbo

He doesn't fully know what to do. He went and spent a few nights over at your house.

Your parents asked his parents for help so they sent over tubbo.

They made a list but the poor boy couldnt read it.

"A sm-oosthie with their pain pill... what the hell is a sm-oosthie?!"

It took him calling tommy to ask him to tell him.

"Tubbo. It says smoothie and who is this fo-."

He hung up before tommy could finish and made the smoothie.

Your cat was quite cuddly.

When he walked in your cat was on your lap.

"Tubbo? When did you get here?" Oh yeah it was a surprise.

"Not too long ago. Your parents left and asked me to help."

He was doing it in all good.

But he scared you so badly.

He bought you a stuffed animal...

It was a huge minecraft bee. And by huge I mean huge.

Like here's the stuffed animal.

Ignore the child. I wished there was a better picture.

But yeah you get the point.

Tubbo may not know how to help you fully but he's trying.

Tommy came to visit with wilbur and phil.

Tommy was meeting up with them and you lived close to wilbur.

When they saw you laid up in bed, tubbo trying to find out how to help with your medication phil kinda went father mode.

You got homemade soup to take your meds.

Tubbo was quite happy to see you smiling and lightly laughing.

When they left you felt better.

Tubbo may not know how to do alot but he tried his best. And you loved every moment.

You got you best friend to help you. And nothing was better then that.

Ranboo

Ranboo spent the night and all you guys could do was joke about the pain.

The jokes were quite self deprecating too.

All night you guys were up.

You couldn't sleep because of the pain and he didnt want to sleep due to the fact he didnt want you to be alone.

So you two were sleep deprived and your parents were concerned. But understood you two didnt want the other to feel bad.

After you healed a bit your parents got called into work. Leading to you spending a few days over there.

Ranboo streamed a recorded with you in the back ground.

He forgot you were there once and he turned on face cam. There you were in the background nose deep into a book while wearing one of his hoodies.

You were freezing and your shirts were a bit too tight.

He just gave you one of his and that was that.

"Whis in the background?"-dono

"In the background?" He turned around to see you just reading your book.

"Oh. That's one of my friends. They had a surgery a week ago."-ranboo

He turned to you, "(y/n) say hi to stream."

Looking up you waved.

"My gay mind went brrr at the idea of no sacks of fat. Now body do the big pain."-(y/n) 2021

It brought a laugh to ranboo and his chat.

You joked through the pain. It was funny.

Dream

What is this I see? He's a simp indeed.

Low key he's answering your beck and call.

He's smothering you in love.

It may not be physical affection but it is still affection.

Your hoodies are replaced with his.

They are huge and comfy.

He saw something online that reminded him of you.

He said it was cute and decided you needed it.

You loved it. It helped you sleep.

Since sapnap lives with him he sends in sapnap sometimes because he's recording or has to get something that wasn't in the house.

Also when you found the zipper you unzipped it and found dream stashed some gift cards and little trinkets in it. Along with a note.

'Knew you would of found this.'-Clay

It shocked you kind of.

But you loved it. It was quite comforting that he gave his affection in these ways still.

Even if it wasn't physically.

Patches is on you 24/7.

She's cuddling you and being very gentle on you.

Low key she won't leave you though, she's following you everywhere, on your lap, sitting there when your on the toilet.

She's clingy. More clingy then before.

But it warmed your heart.

If george visits then he'll see a little gremlin making a b line to the bathroom.

All because the pain made your stomach feel upset.

And you hadn't eaten anything because of pain.

Dream is quick to rush in and see what's wrong.

You were sitting on the ground in the bathroom. Needless to say it didnt end well and you hated it.

"Baby. Do you want me to get you a smoothie and your pain meds?" You were grateful.

After leaving the bathroom you lightly hunched over you noticed the British man in your living room.

You watched his videos.

You waved lightly with a smile.

"Oh sorry (y/n) I didnt tell you george was coming did i?"

Your look told it all.

"Sorry you have to see me like this." You had the urge to apologize.

"No dont be sorry. Surgery is painful."-george

With a small nod you went back to your room and relaxed.

George

He didnt know what to do at all.

He answered your requests.

But he didnt know why you needed that thick ass blanket in the middle of the summer.

But now you have it.

Your stuffed animal that was left in the living room?

It's in your arms by your side.

He's sad it wasn't him in your arms but understood it would cause you pain.

He just lightly lays in your lap.

It brought you comfort and him comfort.

Your germilin ass tended you get up and walk at the weirdest time too.

3am?

Your are going to get a snack.

5am?

You are on your way to the toilet.

7am?

Your once more in the kitchen getting something to eat with your pain pill.

George slept through it and was confused when you weren't in bed like the doctors told you to.

He's quite meticulous with your meds and eating habits.

He doesn't push but makes sure you have something with that pill.

Hell try to help you with your bandages. But sometimes got queasy at the blood and stuff.

It was okay with you though.

You didnt mind that due to the fact that you too got queasy as well.

I think you guys sleep through this alot.

Wilbur and tommy visited.

You was shocked and confused when they had a few get well soon gifts.

Tommy got you a small fidget toy, just something to do with your hands sometimes.

Wilbur got you a few books and a small stuffed toy.

It was a orca.

You loved it but still loved the one that george got you.

He got you a little wooloo one.

It was something that was soft and easy to cuddle.

But the books wilbur gave you were amazing.

It gave you something to do for a long while. And it gave george some more cuddle time.

Other than not knowing what to do george was a great source of comfort.

Sapnap

Sapnap is a bit more experienced with it.

Kind of knowing what to do and all together he just know more then most people.

There is a regular schedule for you meds and so called meals, he changes out the dog pads if he notices them dirty. He knows how to maneuver himself next to you so there was no pain.

He also sucked up that he would be overwhelmingly hot and sat next to you under the blanket.You weren't nearly as cold because of that.

Also since sapnap lives with dream I imagine that dream pops in some times and so does patches.

You all were probably best friends as children. And people always thought that you and dream would get together.

Only because you two were more touchy.

But you saw him as an older brother, and took a liking to sapnap.

Dream was really suportive and saw you as a little sibling.

Dream probably saw you not doing to well and made you something to eat and brought your pain medication.

That was because sapnap was sleeping next to you.

Patches curled up between to two of you and dream brought in something you hadnt seen before.

A roll away bed.

This mother fucker got a whole new bed just so he could sleep in the same room as you and sapnap.

"Sapnap is a heavy sleeper. What if you need something?" He was correct.

You woke up to pain and discomfort.

Dream woke up but sapnap didnt.

You were mainly cold though...

How the hell were you cold with this man radiating radiation the heat of a thousand suns?

No clue. But probably the anesthesia since you were in sapnap room dream just opened the closet and tossed his hoodie to your lap.

You woke up sapnap when you put on the hoodie on accident.

He pushed up against your shoulder a bit more and draped his arm over your lap.

"What's wrong?" Sapnap mumble made you stiffen up. Dream seemed to fall back to sleep too.

"Just a bit cold." He lightly nodded into your neck.

"Mmmmmm. How though."-sapnap

"I dont fuckin know."-(y/n)

He let out a sleep chuckle and seemed to fall asleep again.

You just sat there. Patches and sapnap on you lap technically.

Sapnap woke up and made you breakfast at some point. You were in and out of it due to barely any sleep.

Dream woke up as well. You didnt even know when they left. But patches stayed with you.

Those weeks you were treated the best with these two with extra cuddles from patches.

I didnt know there was a max amount of paragraphs. But hey I guess it's something you find out sooner or later. So there is going to be a part 2. Including some character I missed.

[cognitosclowns]

Hey hey! I dunno if you’re taking requests right now but if you are, I am in NEED of just some soft things with Jr and Andre. I am just so, so gay for them. There isn’t a specific scenario I have in mind, I’m just craving something generally soft, cute and giggly <3

YOU'RE GETTIN SOME,, EXTRA FLUFFY SHIT OUT OF ME TONIGHT <3

ALL SFW !! tw for illness n medication!!

OKIE BUT <333 BOTH OF THEM WOULD BE THE MOST CHAOTIC BUT LOVING CARETAKERS IF YOU'RE SICK

JR

HHHHH how do people do things again?

LISTEN HE'S RICH HE'S NOT USED TO DOING STUFF. YOU THINK HE CAN COOK? NO! DARLING HE HASN'T COOKED IN YEARS.

This means you will be ordered some,, Very Yummy Expensive Meals <3. They might be a touch cold by the time they get there but,, mmm it's ok <3

He gets Super Worried even if it's just,, a cold. He rarely gets sick so seeing you all sniffy and mopey in bed makes him Fret (tm).

also he puts on his slippers for The First Time In Weeks (bc he's,, stayin home to take care of you <3) and ends up Slip N Sliding himself directly into the doorframe. At least it got a laugh outta you <3

HE DOESN'T CARE IF HE GETS SICK, FUCK IT, HE'S CUDDLING YOU.

Specifically, you laying back-to-his-chest while he make His Little Worried face and smooches your cheek. Lots of head rubs too <33

He does this thing,, where he runs his thumbs along your ears n jaw?? Just one clean motion, then he raises his thumbs and puts them back in the Start Position at where your Ear Meets Face? IDK IF I EXPLAINED IT RIGHT, BUT,, HE GETS QUITE MUSHY <3

whenever you sneeze he Instinctively goes,, ‘oh dear </3′ and rubs your shoulders.

Little murmurs asking if you're okay?? He'll INSIST on making you a tea, bc his 'trick' for when he's sick is!! Ginger Tea!! Or mint, but Ginger is his favorite. Settles stomach aches!! And the steam helps your nose hurt less smdnsmd

'hows my favorite angel?'

'do you have other angels?'

mm.. no, but you're still my favorite <3' whenever you wake up. He secretly loves feeling you lay on his chest - besides, hearing his heartbeat is very soothing??

ANDREEEEE

MASSIVE HYPOCHONDRIAC WITH A SHIT IMMUNE SYSTEM.

and,,, somehow this all of this goes out the window the Second he sees you curled up in bed, sniffling your face off.

some sort of Instinct kicks in and his ass is MOVING HE IS LIKE LIGHTNING GETTIN U SOME TISSUES AND FIXING THE COVERS <333

HES LIKE,, yknow when you're nervous about smth, but then your friend gets nervous and suddenly,, You Are Calm? LIKE,, THE MOM FRIEND INSTINCT KICKS IN SO HARD WHEN HE SEES YOU SICK. He might freak out about it later, but,,, rn he doesn't even think to worry about gettin sick <3 babe is sick he's gotta make himself useful

HE CAN'T COOK SO <333 CHEAP RAMEN BABEY. Maybe some microwaved meals - smth easy!! It's a little rubbery but,, it's the thought that counts.

HE LIKES SPICE SO,, if it's too much he'll Purposefully go out and grab smth a little less,,

When he was little and he had The Sniffles, his mum would gently rub his cheeks with a warm cloth bc,, his Sinuses would hurt. He'll absolutely utilize this technique while you cuddle up in his arms.

'i hear feet'

'i'm thirsty'

'sit your ass back down >:(' he always warms it a little w/ kettle water, so it hurts less to drink!!

you only get to stand to use the bathroom. No moving <3 only cuddles and drinks and you passing out at random times while you two spoon in bed.

MOVIE MARATHON TIMEEEE. So many jokes to take your mind off things <3 he already has Jokes Set Up for all of your favorites. Making ppl laugh is,, his way of trying to make stuff better. Hes The Funny Guy!

OH HE'LL ALSO,, PROBABLY WHIP YOU UP SMTH THAT'S JUST,, SLIGHTLY STRONGER COUGH SYRUP MSNDMS. IT WONT ENTIRELY KNOCK YOUR COLD, BUT ITLL MAKE EVERYTHING HURT A BIT LESS SO,, NOT TOO BAD? TASTES LIKE PINK LEMONADE TOO SO,, THAT ROCKS

SMNDSM THIS TURNED OUT MORE SAPPY THAN I EXPECTED BUT I HOPE YOU DONT MIND!!

eee this was very fun <333 TYSM FOR THE LOVELY ASSSSK

[cooloddball]

JIB9 (JIBCON, 2018) ANYALYSIS-PART 1

I never know how to begin these things so let’s just dive in.

Jensen and Misha enter the stage as Alex is leaving. Jensen commends Alex and Misha whistles and Jensen says don’t hurt my ears or something. And so it begin. Misha says he regretted it [whistling] immediately.

 I’m hard of hearing you know why because I whistled. This joke didn’t land Misha. Sorry.

Jensen says “Hey” like he wants to say something to the audience but Misha does this weird thing where he runs his index finger down his nose and touches his chin.

I think this was Misha trying to communicate his disappointment that Jensen didn’t get the joke. He wanted him to get the joke. Misha e tries to find his seat so he could sit but Jensen catches on that Misha needs him so he says, “Hey what? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.” Aww :)

Misha leans his ear closer to Jensen and says, and Jensen leans even closer and they have this back and forth banter about not hearing what the other is saying.

To mention something personal, I am usually very uncomfortable when people lean into me, I like my personal space unless it’s someone I’m really close to and even then not always will be with them getting up close and personal.. They seem okay with it so good for them I guess. Personal space who?

“I don’t understand your accent” Misha says. I don’t know if this is an inside joke because Jensen says “shut up,” playfully and they sit down.

Jensen applauds Alex and Misha whistles again and Jensen has to look away faux disappointed because they just talked about whistling. Misha!!! Stop being naughty.

Jensen even rubs his ears to show that he can’t hear properly. LOL.

That’s like super loud dude.

 I actually find it really weird when Misha and Jensen call each other dude. It sounds unnatural because Jensen often calls other men-pal, bud, or man and Misha usually uses people’s names or says my friend so and so. So maybe this is what they call each other? I know when I talk to my bf or my friends I call them dude (gn) especially when I’m shocked about something. So, it’s not a biggie. Just noting this because they do this a lot with each other.

Misha does this super cute shoulder shrug with the biggest grin on his face. How can a grown ass man be that adorable. I don’t know how he does it but well he did it and it’s adorable. No wonder Jensen wants to put him in his pocket and take him home.

“I’m compensating.” And he looks at Jensen with this shit eating grin on his face as if challenging him and it’s like Jensen looks like he can’t breathe for a second it was literally three seconds.

 “[compensating] For a lot of things that’s wow.” Jensen says. Misha keeps grinning. Of course Jensen would know what Misha is compensating for wouldn’t he?

 Should we talk about Alex?” Jensen asks looking at Misha.

Loudly “Yeah.”

“No I don’t think so.”

What did you ask how was the pantheon? 

Jesus I love their madness. They play off each other so well.

They say they are working on teaching alex to talk about inappropriate things.  Side note: It’s funny though because Alex looks like their love child. He looks like Misha, and to some extent Jensen, his hair, sense of style and even the way he carries himself is all Jensen. So weird. What if –What if---nvm.

Jensen mentions he remembers his first season of spn. Misha looks at Jensen and says no you don’t [remember] and Jensen agrees that he doesn’t. Yes finish each other’s sentences why don’t you? He says he doesn’t remember that far back and Misha has this far away look as if he is trying to remember something and starts laughing and Jensen has this smirk on his face. IDK what is going on but these are moments I wish I could read minds.

The way Jensen is looking at Misha though.

So Misha mentions how Jared pranked Alex during the tattoo scene of s13x02. The moment Misha mentions Jared, Jensen stops smiling.

Knowing what we know now about the fallout I want to mention something. When Misha talks about Jared and his prank on Alex Jensen doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about that. Hmm and he circles back to talk about Alex then he calls Jared a toddler? But Misha makes it sound like Jensen was referring to Alex by saying easy prey . 

Misha shows the face Alex makes when they are on set together because of the pranks and the jokes.

Jensen adds, “Do you know how many times I’ve seen you do that?”+  Jensen is so excited. I mean anyone who says this is PR then they are crazy. You can’t fake emotions like that no matter how good of an actor you are.

‘The way Jensen calls Misha ‘this one’ It sounds so couply. Like when one half of a couple says, “this one is always a crying mess when we watch the notebook” or something akin to that. Any that’s just how I interpreted it, I could be wrong.

And this is how Misha is looking at Jensen when he says “this one”

That moment when Misha touches the back of Jensen’s neck and Jensen touches his thigh and they think it’s too gay because because Jensen acts like he just touched dirt and Misha brushes off his thigh and smells it. Now that’s acting.

Jensen checks Misha out (he specifically looks at Misha’s arms) and then asks “how’re you doing bud?”

Misha says good and that cringe moment about clothes sharing starts and oh I can’t look…okay I had to look  because cringe. But the way Jensen is looking at Misha is giving me the courage to and also I had to for the sake of this analysis I had to look.

“This morning Jensen was like, ‘hey, here’s that shirt you wanna borrow that shirt to wear to the convention today and I was like ‘no dude I’m not wearing your shirt to the convention to the convention’ and he’s [Jensen] like don’t worry it still has tags on it it’s fine. And I’m like no thanks , I’m not gonna wear your fucking shirt to the convention. And then at lunch I spilled salad dressing all over my shirt like sweet so thanks for the shirt.”

The whole time Misha is telling the story he’s not looking at Jensen he’s looking at the crowd. Jensen on the other hand is checking Misha out while biting his bottom lip. There’s a lot to unpack here.

Jensen:  ‘I knew. Umm..”

Misha:  “You are like Misha didn’t bring his bib today so…”

Jensen:  “He didn’t bring his bib? We are probably having you know some pretty----no I was literally have a shirt that I brought that…cause I try to wear something new for every time there are pictures being taken of me just cause that’s the culture we live in now…”

Interrupting moose enters.

*I will do a comprehensive analysis on the clothes sharing confessions, lies and half truths in another post. Boy (gn) do I have tea.”

I think when Jared is giving Jensen the balloons Jensen asks him if Daniela or someone else sent him to join them but I think he came of his own volition.

Jared is asking Jensen to untie a balloon for him but Jensen doesn’t look too thrilled

Misha must’ve noticed the tension between those two so he asks, “how good a knot did you tie?” 

Jensen’s like, “You know what? I tie a knot that a professional knows how to tie.” Okay kinky, tell us more about knots Jensen. (Sorry for this but knowing the A/B/O or rather the Omegaverse was started because of Jensen and now he’s  talking about tying a knot and…you know what nvm)

Misha pretends that what Jensen is saying is sus so he and Jared have a back and forth wondering what Jensen is talking about as Jensen unties the balloons. Yeah sure Misha like he hasn’t tied …you know what? This is getting uncomfortable even for me. Can we move on?

But Jensen won’t let me move on because he’s like, “seriously that’s how you tie a knot.” Of course you’d know sir

Jared adds, “Or it’s not” can someone shut this man up, please.

Jensen doesn’t like his friend’s joke and he has something to say about it,  “Did he have to join us?” Was this a joke? Was it serious? Who knows but recent events seem to suggest that he might’ve been serious but made it look like a joke.

Jared asks for one balloon and Misha tries to reach for one but Jensen keeps pulling them away so Misha can’t reach. This is so playful and adorable. Misha snags one finally then gives it to Jared. One flies away and he tries to reach for it but he’s not tall enough. 

“Do you want some help?”  Jared asks and laughs then Misha gives him the finger. 

Jensen gets grumpy after Daniela brings Misha a colourless balloon so he hits it with his microphone then he hits his and  sits on it and pops it. Fuck that was hot for some weird reason. I could watch him pop balloons all day.

Misha and Jared’s reaction when Jensen sits on the balloon.

Misha tries Miserably to pop his, Jared can’t look, Jensen is still grumpy but the more Misha struggles the happier Jensen gets and he even manages a smile.

This was hilarious though. Their face journeys.

Jared brings a watermelon and gives it to Misha but Jensen slaps it out of his hands and shows he doesn’t want him to do it from the way he’s waving his hand.

The only thing Jensen wants Misha to wrap his legs around is his waist, or his neck or shoulders or whatever. I don’t know which method of wrestling they prefer, I’m not a professional wrestler I mean I’ve watched WWE a few times but-

Jensen seems happy, I don’t know what Misha says to him before he sits but Jensen seems okay until…

Jared hands Misha the pink balloon holder and says, “You gonna want this for later,” 

Misha doesn’t look too happy about it either but he’s always a good sport. Poor guy, so he plays a long and looks at the holder which interestingly is pink and phallic. I know Jared was joking and yeah the joke wasn’t that funny but Jensen is super pissed because he asks, “Is he?” looking at the balloon holder.

Jesus Jensen wtf? But I honestly understand him, I mean why would Misha need that weird cheap plastic thing when there was the real thing waiting someone in a pair of Levis.

Jensen says, “well… some parts of this”  I can’t quite make out what he says.

Misha tries to make it a light moment by saying it looks like something horrible happened and that gets Jensen to laugh and then Misha bends over to uh..to drop the melon and the phallic object and Jensen’s eyes shoot right down the citrusy-juicy stone fruit goodness. He catches himself looks away and then looks at the crowd while chewing on his bottom lip.

Okay sexual jokes are fun but not every time Jared. I mean c’mon, not everything is a gay sex joke. This is the one thing that sells him out as a straight dude. He makes way too many gay sex jokes it’s not even funny.

They have this weird back and forth about Jared having some notes. Argh. It’s weird. It’s like they are fighting. You see how girls fight and act like like they aren’t fighting but you can sense the seething anger in the undertones of their voices? That’s the vibe I get here. Even Misha is confused because he keeps looking between the two wondering why notes are so important of a discussion that warrants a back and forth. Or maybe it’s just me. IDK.

Misha has to jump in and save the day “He’s [Jared] is just looking through for pictures] Misha explaining to Jensen why Jared has to read the script forty times while Jensen only reads it once.  WTF is going on boys? You were doing so well before and now things seem totally awkward *cough*fallout*cough*

Jensen looks totally done like he wants to be anywhere but here, seriously look at him.

It gets so awkward so much so that Misha has to prompt a fan to ask a question. As I said earlier, no one is such a great actor to fake emotions. Jensen keeps proving my theory. Something was going on with j/2 that day and no matter how hard they tried to mask it, it came out and it wasn’t pretty. Then again, maybe it’s just me and nothing was going on.

A fan asks how they like stories to end and  before he can answer, Misha quickly glances at Jensen then goes ahead and explains how he likes the story to leave him on a cliffhanger.

Misha has barely finished talking before Jensen chimes in with a “I Do NOT!” Look at Jared’s and Misha’s faces. Something was clearly going on and I think it had something to do with the show because Jensen didn’t seem okay since Jared came on stage. He says how he wants a finality to things otherwise jerks. They were clearly talking about the show, Jensen, for a good actor you are acting really weird. It is about the show because he says, “we are just dead”  Something very weird was going on. Maybe at this time they already had had their meeting with TPTB in LA and he was told to take it or leave it and Jared and Kripke didn’t even hear him out. My poor baby, Do all the spin offs King and you should star in all of them like you deserve.

He even says that spn dying is not a finality. He looks super pissed. What did these people (Jared and tptb) do to him? They broke him. He was doing so well.

Luckily a fan asks them if they can dance so Jensen goes to the wheel and Misha gets up. I think he knows Jensen is angry and he has to try to make his man happy the best way he can. Jared is suffering from second hand embarrassment as am I. Jared can’t look, same Jared this is so cringe. But Jensen can’t help himself, as he is coming back from spinning the wheel he checks out Misha’s citrusy-juicy goodness again 🍑

Misha please stop. I love you but this is embarrassing. Okay so let me look at Jensen instead. He looks like those gentlemen waiting for the debutantes at a debutante ball because of the way he’s standing looking at Misha dance. Subtle sir. Very subtle. I mean if my friend was dancing like that I’d be laughing at them not watching longingly. Just saying, but that’s just me.

The way Misha looks at Jensen and starts rolling his hips. Sirs, can you not do your mating dance in public? There are children in the audience. 

Even the way Jensen cues in the music so he can dance looks like he’s in the Victorian era asking the music master to play the song he asked to be cued in so he could dance with his sweetheart or something. Am I going crazy? I’m going crazy.

The whole dancing scene was just cringe.

Mish explaining what Castiel does when the boys go to sleep 

Hold on, when Jensen asks what Castiel does when the Sam and Dean are asleep in their respective bedrooms, he made sure to emphasize respective bedrooms and we all know the reason why. Stay speaking facts king.

Anyway, when he asks Misha to demonstrate for us what Cas does, did he expect that Cas stands there peeping into Dean’s room and wanks or what did he expect? Honestly I’m just curious, what did he want Misha to demonstrate exactly.

Then he gets up to demonstrate it himself . 

When Misha says that the episode will be called ‘I’ll just wait here ten” Jensen unicorn laughs and when he realizes he was laughing to hard at Misha’s joke he says, ”I don’t get it.” Yeah sure Jensen it was clear from how hard you laughing to the point where we could see your tonsils that you didn’t get it. Good one. Misha maintains a serious face and even shakes his head.

A fan asks Misha what Castiel would have in his room. Misha says just a bunch of catnip. I don’t know what is so funny again that it warrants Jensen to hide his face because he’s trying not to laugh too hard. Does the word catnip or Cas being a cat mean something to you? Is it because Misha is cute like a kitten? Do love to rub his tum and hear him purr? Does he rub his nose along your beard like a cat would? What is so funny?

Then Jensen adds, “and kitty litter.” So adorable. I want in on the inside joke.

Misha says that he would have a poster of a cat hanging from a tree that says, “Hey it’s Monday” and Jensen laughs so hard. Then Jensen makes sure to add, “he has that poster in his trailer.” How do you know?

Why are these two dorks so happy about the mention of AU Cas? 

Then the way Jensen is excited about asking Misha for a demonstration of AU Cas 

 WTF am I watching? Help. But the eye fuck and the way the laugh.

Look how hard Jensen is laughing when Misha says what went through his head is that “they met at a club.” Pray for Jensen. He needs help. Serious help because no one is ever that funny all the time Jensen.

You can see how Jensen’s mood changed after Jared said that is the best acting he has ever seen Misha do. Jared seriously read the room. That part of the video has been discussed before so I won’t get into that.

The way Jensen’s eyes widen when Jared says Misha really wants to answer the who is your rock question. It is subtle but it happens. He also raises his eyebrows  as if to say “really? leave my husband alone.”

Okay did Jared expect Misha to say Jensen was his rock or??

Jensen is acting weird through Misha’s answer. He’s mostly stoic, like he’s holding his breath? Can I also mention how handsome Misha looks? But I like Misha’s answer and it’s so beautiful that he married his best friend. Everyone who wants to get married should marry their best friend. What do I know though? Marriage is a foreign concept to me.

Jensen asks how many mothers there are in the audience.

Jared carries on with “how many of us have mothers?

Misha: That’s quite an impressive turn out. So many people didn’t raise their hands.

“They are like no I was genetically engineered in a lab.” Okay hear me out. Jensen knows what you know who believe that  his kids and Jared’s kids were made in a lab because they couldn’t stand to copulate with their wives because of how much they hate them because Jared is his on true love. If you didn’t know this I’m sorry to divulge this disgusting piece of information to you but you can’t unsee it now so you are welcome. I swear I think this was a jab at them, no one can convince me otherwise.

Even Jared and Misha’s reaction to that is pretty telling. Then Jensen adds “And some of you probably were” I think he means those soulless fans who send their wives and kids threats and also hate on Misha every chance they get. Go off king.

He talks about how his wife is also his rock aww Jensen

Remember how Jensen was being weird during Misha’s answer? Misha is being weird as well, mostly stoic and looking at a fixed spot on the ground. I want to know what was so interesting.

Oh that micro expression from Jared, his right eye widens the moment Jensen says “I have some amazing pebbles in my life.” Did he think Jensen was going to out himself? He was like oh shit oh sit it’s happening.

The glee on Misha’s face when when Jensen calls him a pebble aww Jensen.

I know what I’m about to say is controversial but I think that by pebbles Jensen meant Misha. It doesn’t make sense that he was comparing his wife and his friends. The only person he would relate his wife to is his husband. I know this sounds crazy and people will definitely not be happy about this but that’s my opinion.I I know he loves Jared and he is his bro for life  so if he was referring to them both wouldn’t he have pointed to them both?

Jared talks about how sometimes he doesn’t want to burden the people he really loves with what’s on his mind all the time and Jensen points to himself in a very aggressive way. Jesus Jensen way to be subtle. Fuck. Also Jensen nods vigorously when Jared says look for your pebbles because sometimes pebbles are what you need to get back to your rock.

It’s time to sing a hbd song and when Misha asks Jared “did you volunteer for this?” That’s when Jensen places his hand on Misha’s knee and says “I got it” He’s like, babe seriously? You are gonna ask Jared to sing when you know I got the voice for it? Seriously? I’m right here babe. I sing to you every night and you gonna do me like this? I got this and you are mine.

He caresses that leg and gets very comfortable on it, draping his arm from the elbow down on it. Possessive much? It’s clearly not the first time he has parched on that leg. The hand was on that leg for 1 minute and 15 seconds. Yes, I counted.

The intimate way in which Jensen and Misha they are seated is so awkward that Jared scoots away from them.

 Damn, son. Jensen’s vocals are out of this world. So good.

Jesus Jared “Deeper, deeper feel it” Is that what they were screaming through the hotel walls last night? Tell us more.

Misha is so uncomfortable and Jensen is so done.

So overall this part was basically cockles being cockles, Jensen being possessive of Misha, Jared being Jared, Jensen being done, the girls are fighting and Misha is the referee. 

That’s the end of part 1.

Part 2

[deancasheadcanons]

Slightly Gayer

[ao3]

7.3k words post-15x18 domestic Dean/Cas (loosely) inspired by this artwork by skepticalfrog

Dean is sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee and halfheartedly scrolling through the news. He can’t focus because his eyes keep drifting over to the other side of the kitchen, where Cas is cooking breakfast and talking on the phone with Claire.

Cas looks different, is the thing. He’s wearing a pair of bright green boxer briefs and one of Dean’s old gray t-shirts, neither of which fit him right. Since becoming human, Cas exercises constantly, stacking his arms and legs with thickly corded muscle.

But he eats, too, and loves eating as much as Dean does, so his stomach juts out big and round from his muscular chest, several inches of tan underbelly visible out of the bottom of Dean’s shirt. The fabric is caught in the crease between his chest and belly, taut around the outline of his nipple rings. The sleeves are also too tight around his biceps, revealing the Enochian tattoos that extend from shoulder to elbow of each arm.

Dean knows what Cas looks like, of course he knows. He knows every inch of his perfect body. But the way Cas moves, Dean is still getting used to. Still studying.

Cas has the phone tucked between his shoulder and ear, his hands occupied with making pancakes and eggs. He has his weight shifted to one hip, his butt sticking out even more than it already does, and he keeps waving the spatula around animatedly as he talks. He takes a drink of coffee, then scratches his belly, then gestures with his hand, flipping his wrist rather...limply.

He turns around to the kitchen island to plate the pancakes and catches Dean staring at him. He smiles and winks in his direction while continuing his conversation with Claire.

Dean tries to look back down at his phone. He makes it about five seconds before his eyes find their way over to Cas again. He takes a long drink of coffee and sets his mug down as he stands up. He strides over to Cas and comes at him from behind, wrapping his arms around his middle and burying his face in his soft neck. He kisses the tattoo that’s on the juncture of Cas’ collarbone and neck—Dean’s name in Enochian.

“I’ve gotta go, Claire,” Cas says, his voice as deep and gravelly as ever. “Tell Kaia I said hello. Yes. OK, bye.”

Dean squeezes Cas’ belly and presses long, slow kisses to his neck.

Cas turns the stove off and moves the eggs over to a different burner. His hands, now free, fold over top of Dean’s. He laces their fingers together.

“Claire said they’re thinking of coming by to visit in a few days,” Cas says, leaning his weight back against Dean.

“Mm. Good.” Dean continues his kisses.

Cas huffs a laugh and rubs his hand up and down Dean’s forearm. “Feeling affectionate this morning?”

“Always. C’mere.” He tugs at Cas to get him to turn around in his arms, then he fits his hands to his hips and presses his flat torso against Cas’ gut before leaning over and kissing him on the lips.

Cas puts a hand to the side of Dean’s face and the other on the counter behind him, supporting his weight against it. He moans into the kiss, pushing his tongue hungrily into Dean’s mouth and rolling his hips in an intoxicating rhythm.

They stop after a few minutes. Cas keeps his hand on Dean’s face, rubbing the pad of his thumb back and forth across his cheek as he smiles softly up at him.

“What?” Dean asks self-consciously. He circles his own thumbs into Cas’ love handles.

“Nothing,” Cas replies, his smile widening. “You’re just very beautiful.”

Dean ducks back in for another quick kiss. Then, “You move differently than you used to.”

Cas tilts his head to the side, furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”

“You’re, uh, I don’t know. Your mannerisms...you’re more feminine. Gayer.”

Cas laughs and drops his head forward. His hand falls away from Dean’s face, and he flips it out palm up. “Well, Dean, I am gay.”

Now Dean is laughing. He pulls Cas closer to him and once again pushes his face against his neck. “You were just so stiff before.” He pulls back again and looks Cas in the eye. “I don’t like thinking that you were, I don’t know, holding yourself back. Repressed.”

Cas barks out a laugh. “Yes, please, tell me more about how I was repressed.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up.” He squeezes a soft hip. “I’m starving, let’s eat.”

They sit perpendicular to each other at the kitchen table. Cas rubs one socked foot up and down Dean’s calf while they eat.

“Do I move different?” Dean asks with a mouthful of eggs.

Cas frowns at him, mug of coffee in his hand. “Is that a trick question?”

“Oh god, I do, don’t I?”

“Well, first of all, Dean, your voice is an octave higher than it used to be.”

Dean blushes and shoves more food in his mouth, avoiding eye contact.

Cas leans his elbows on the table, closer to Dean. “And you carry yourself differently. You’ve always been confident in your body, but you don’t posture anymore. You carry yourself in a more relaxed way—like when we’re walking, and you keep one hand in your pocket and the other holding mine. You don’t puff your chest out so much, and it makes you look more natural.”

“Gayer?”

Cas laughs again. “Yes, Dean, I think when you, uh, rub my lower back and kiss my temple while we wait in line at the grocery store or something, you definitely look gayer than you did before.”

Dean reaches over and tangles their hands together, swinging them back and forth playfully on top of the table. “Can’t help it,” he says gently. “If you’re near me, I gotta touch.”

They smile shyly at each other. Cas eventually moves Dean’s hand up to his mouth and kisses his knuckles. “I’m not too gay for you, am I? My mannerisms don’t bother you?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “You’re fishing for a compliment.”

“So give me one.”

He scoots his chair closer to Cas’ and moves his hand under the table, spreading his fingers over one of Cas’ thick thighs and squeezing the soft muscle. “I’m fucking thrilled that you’re comfortable in your own skin, sweetheart. I love the new ways you move, and I love how you’ve made your body your own. I get distracted staring at you so much that I can’t even read one crap news article without looking at you.”

Cas takes a deep breath. A tear slips down his cheek, and he wipes it away delicately. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to hearing you say stuff like that to me. Not even in my most self-indulgent fantasies did I imagine...”

Dean laughs and tugs on Cas’ shirtsleeve, coaxing him over to him, patting his legs so Cas straddles his lap. Once they’re settled, Dean rubs soothing circles into Cas’ back fat and looks up at him reverently.

“I’ll always think you deserve better than me, but, uh,” Dean starts. “I guess if you want me instead of somebody better, then I gotta be the best version of myself. I’m sorry I wasn’t this me sooner.”

Cas presses their foreheads together. “You mean this gayer version?”

Dean laughs into a kiss. “Only took you confessing your love and dying for me to get my head out of my ass.”

Cas puts a finger to the tip of Dean’s nose. “No, actually, it took more than that. Seven months after I came back, Dean. It took you seven months.”

Dean winces. “Worth the wait?”

Cas sighs and kisses Dean’s cheek before climbing laboriously off his lap, grunting as his gut shifts. He pulls at the hem of his boxer briefs to get them down over his huge thighs; Dean pinches his butt as he walks away.

In the time it takes Cas to refill their coffee mugs, Dean’s phone rings.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean answers.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Sam asks.

As Cas comes back and hands Dean a mug, sliding his arm gently across his shoulders before making his way to his seat, Dean says, “Having breakfast with the love of my life. What do you need?”

“Eileen and I are going on a hunt, gonna take a few days. Can we drop Jack by later today?”

“What? The kid can’t stay by himself in the bunker?”

Cas flattens his lips and raises his eyebrows, silently chastising Dean. Dean throws his hand up and shrugs.

“He’s 4, Dean,” Sam says.

“He’s as powerful as God, Sam.”

Jack’s voice comes through the phone, sounding far away. “I don’t like staying here by myself. It’s lonely.”

“Of course you can stay here, kid,” Dean says loudly enough for Jack to hear. To Sam, he says, “But make sure you stop by the store on your way and pick up some food for him, because Cas and I are on a diet.”

“Seriously?” Sam asks.

“No,” Dean scoffs. “C’mon, dude. I’m sure the kid’ll be thrilled to get some real food instead of whatever rabbit food crap you and Eileen feed him.”

Cas snorts a laugh and tucks back into his stack of pancakes, pouring more syrup over them before taking a bite. Dean watches him, obsessed with the dainty way he holds his fork.

“You know, it’s gonna catch up to you one day,” Sam says. “You’ll wake up and suddenly realize you look like Cas.”

“Mm,” Dean hums, eyes still glued to Cas. “You mean I’ll be hot as shit?”

Cas winks at him.

“Yeah, I walked right into that one,” Sam mutters. “See you this afternoon.”

“Bye, Sam.” He hangs up.

“I don’t know why you goad him into judging our eating habits,” Cas says. “He asks about my weight every time I lift with him.”

“What? I’ll kill him.”

“No, it’s—”

“Where’s my gun? I’m gonna kill him.”

“Dean,” Cas says, exasperated. “He only asks because he doesn’t see me every day. You’d notice I was getting bigger, too, if you only saw me every week or so.”

Dean pouts at him, offended. “I touch you and stare at you constantly every day, of course I fucking notice. You’re big, Cas. And you take good care of yourself. Sam can mind his own fucking business.”

“I don’t need you to defend my honor to your brother, you insane man.” Cas stands and picks up their plates to take them to the sink. “And you need to limit the number of ‘fucks’ you say when Jack gets here.”

“Jesus, when did you become such a nagging wife?”

Cas turns away from the sink, sets a hand on the shelf of his belly, and says in a deadpan, “When I became pregnant with our third child.”

It’s a joke he stole from Dean, but Dean still lets out an embarrassing laugh like it’s the first time he’s heard it. He then joins Cas in the kitchen, hugging him from behind again and sneaking a hand up under his shirt so he can cup one of his pecs, teasing his thumb over his piercing. He kisses the shell of his ear as he mumbles, “I’ll clean up in here. I know you wanna go work out.”

Cas shuffles around in his arms and kisses him languidly. Even though they’ve been together for months and have shared at least a thousand kisses, a thrilling warmth washes over Dean’s body every time Cas initiates.

“What?” Cas asks gently when they break apart.

Dean kisses him again, squeezes his sides. “I just love you so much.”

Cas fights his smile and fails. He runs a hand up through Dean’s hair, which Dean is growing out, because Cas likes to touch it. “I love you so much, too.”

“C’mere.” Dean pulls him into a hug, wrapping his arms around his back and holding him tight, nuzzling his face in his neck while Cas fists his hands in the back of Dean’s t-shirt. “Loved you for so long. Should’ve told you sooner.”

“Yeah, you should’ve.” Cas squeezes him. “I should’ve, too.”

Dean clears his throat as they break apart. “We’ve turned into the biggest fucking saps. Go, go lift your silly weights.” He shoos Cas out of the kitchen and smacks his butt as he goes. “And hey! Don’t forget to walk your sweaty body through here on your way to the shower.”

Over his shoulder, Cas says, “Of course. I would never deprive you of that, Dean.”

When Dean finishes cleaning the kitchen, he heads to the living room where they’ve set up a workspace to help hunters out. Sure, it would be easier to do the job from the bunker, but Dean and Cas wanted their own space, a homier environment for hunters to stop by and rest. They have a room for Jack, a room for Claire and Kaia, and two extra bedrooms for anybody else who shows up—although, one of the rooms is half-full of Cas’ exercise equipment.

Dean has his eye on a rundown bar down the road, too, but not enough time has passed since they committed crimes to get a loan for their house, so he has to wait before they can buy it.

While Dean is doing research for a case that Garth is working on, Jody calls.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Dean answers, putting her on speaker.

“I’m three hours from your place,” she says, sounding tired. “Can you guys take the kid again for just, like, one week? Please.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course, Jody,” Dean replies, his posture straightening with excitement. “But you already knew that, because you’re already driving her over here.”

Jody laughs. “Yeah. Thanks, Dean. See you soon.”

Dean shoots a text to Sam: Raven’s gonna be here, too. ETA?

Sam texts back right away: Whenever we feel like it o’clock.

Bitch, Dean types.

Whore, Sam replies.

When Dean and Cas got together, they didn’t get the chance to tell Sam. They were on a hunt, and Sam was at the motel doing research while Dean and Cas ate dinner at a bar nearby. Cas was talking about the case and reached over and stole a fry off of Dean’s plate, and something about the gesture broke something inside of Dean. He blurted out, “I love you, too,” like a fucking idiot, causing Cas to nearly choke on the fry.

The truth was that Dean was in shock when Cas came back from the Empty, and he could not believe that this ancient unknowable being actually loved him. But then Cas was human, and ordinary, and he grew more comfortable around Dean as his body filled out. Easy warmth and affection radiated from him, like loving Dean was as natural to him as breathing.

And Dean knew that his own feelings couldn’t be buried anymore. They were clawing their way to the surface with each day that passed, until finally they burst free with an I love you, too over a stolen goddamn French fry.

They finished their meal quickly and quietly, then they walked out to the Impala together and Dean couldn’t wait a second longer than the nearly 13 years he’d already waited, so he pushed Cas up against the driver’s side door and kissed him.

“Oh,” Cas breathed between their mouths.

“What?” Dean mumbled.

“I didn’t—realize—when—”

Dean moved to kissing Cas’ softening jaw and neck so that his mouth was free to talk.

“I wasn’t sure you meant you loved me like this,” Cas explained.

Dean abruptly pulled away. “Oh. Uh, did you not—we don’t have to if you don’t want—”

Cas cut him off with a bruising kiss. “No, no, I definitely want.”

“Thank god.”

It had taken all of their willpower to get in the car and drive back to the motel, and Dean had barely put her in park before dragging Cas to the backseat and messily stripping clothes off. There wasn’t nearly enough space, so they ended up rutting against each other while making out like horny teenagers, and that’s when Sam knocked on the window.

Dean cracked it the smallest amount, his body still tangled with Cas. “We’re a little busy here, Sammy.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m gonna get another room so you guys don’t have to do...this...out here.”

“Sammy, you’re the best brother in the world,” Dean said stupidly as he and Cas struggled out of the backseat, holding their clothes half-on, shirts and overshirts and jackets in hand and jeans unbuttoned. Dean dragged Cas by the hand up to their room.

And so Sam (homophobically, in Dean’s opinion) started calling Dean “whore” instead of “jerk.”

Dean is typing on his laptop when Cas clears his throat from the hall. Dean looks up immediately, raking his eyes up and down Cas’ glistening, swollen body as he walks shirtless toward their bedroom.

“Hey, hey, hey, no, come back here,” Dean says, scrambling to get up, tripping over his own feet, then finally making it to Cas so he can squeeze his biceps and press kisses to his sweaty shoulder.

Dean moves his mouth down Cas’ collarbone and chest, hunching his body so he can get a better angle as he works his tongue around a nipple ring.

Cas cards a hand through Dean's hair. “Do you want to shower with me?” he asks patiently.

Dean reluctantly lets go of his nipple and straightens up. “Does a bear shit in the woods?”

Their shower is just big enough for both of them, but it’s too difficult to do much more than wash each other’s bodies. They talk loudly to each other over the spray, which is why neither of them hear the front door open and Sam and Eileen announce their arrival.

Dean walks out to the kitchen wearing a towel around his waist and one around his hair. Sam and Eileen are making sandwiches while Jack sits on a barstool at the island reading a book.

“Oh, hey, guys,” Dean says. He grabs a La Croix out of the fridge and takes a long drink. “Didn’t hear you come in.”

Cas comes in next, wearing just boxer briefs, his wet hair dripping water onto his body. He greets everyone then puts a hand on the small of Dean’s back and kisses his cheek. He takes the La Croix right out of his hand and drinks it before giving it back.

“Cas, are your nipples pierced?” Eileen asks, shocked.

“Oh, yeah,” Cas says flippantly. He pats the tattoo of Dean’s name on his shoulder. “Dean talked me into it when I got this.”

Dean mutters, “Not like you needed much convincing.”

“So are you guys gonna bother putting clothes on, or…?” Sam asks bitchily.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for existing in my own house,” Dean teases. He settles against Cas’ side; Cas wraps his arm around his hip. “Maybe if somebody had told us when they would be here, we could’ve been ready.”

“Yeah, well, we were anxious to get here,” Sam says, looking pointedly at Eileen. “We have some news.”

“Uh-oh, this sounds like something I should be wearing clothes for,” Dean says.

“I’m pregnant,” Eileen says and signs. She makes a face like she’s sorry about it.

Cas sucks in a sharp breath. Dean’s eyes widen.

“Yeah, uh.” Sam sighs and throws a hand up. “We’re not totally sure how we feel about it, you know, never really planned on…”

“We don’t want to stop hunting,” Eileen finishes for him. “But if there’s a good reason to stop, this is it.”

“We can help,” Dean says quickly. He nervously sets his water down on the counter so he can sign and talk. “You know we’re always willing to take care of a kid. Especially a baby.” He looks over at Jack. “No offense, Jack.”

“I told them I would help, too,” Jack says cheerfully. “I would love a little brother or sister. And I can heal most injuries other than death, so if they keep hunting while Eileen is pregnant, it’ll be OK.”

“We’ll be here every step of the way,” Cas adds. “Whatever you need.”

“Yeah,” Sam says solemnly. “We know it’ll be OK, we’re just...I don’t know, I’m just not naturally maternal like you, Dean.”

“Come here, Sammy,” Dean says, walking away from Cas and putting his hand up on Sam’s shoulder to bring him down for a hug. “You’re already a great dad. You’re not gonna fuck the kid up, I promise.”

Sam laughs and squeezes Dean once before letting go. He frowns down at Dean’s bare torso and says, “OK, go get some clothes on, please.” Under his breath, he mutters, “I don’t understand how you and Cas even fit in a shower together.”

“Hey.” Dean points a menacing finger at him. “If you don’t lay off my boyfriend, he’s gonna use his massively buff arms to kick your ass.”

“No, I’m not,” Cas says in a monotone, flipping his wrist to blow Dean off. He kisses Eileen on the cheek as he leaves the kitchen.

“What? I’m not—I don’t care what Cas looks like,” Sam says. He opens the fridge and gestures dramatically to it. “I just think it would be good every now and then if you guys ate, like, one vegetable.” He looks Dean up and down. “Also the fact that Cas works out and you don’t, you look like a skinny little beanpole next to him. He makes you look ridiculous.”

Dean crosses his arms and pouts. “He likes how I look. Says it makes him feel big and strong when he picks me up.”

Sam and Eileen both laugh. Eileen asks, “He picks you up? What, like during sex?”

Dean blushes. He halfheartedly says and signs, “No, I mean, like, when I fall asleep on the couch and he carries me to our bed.”

Sam and Eileen laugh harder.

“I think it’s sweet,” Jack interjects. “I would never laugh at your relationship with Cas, Dean. You two love each other very much.”

Eileen rolls her eyes. “Yeah, perfect little angel over here has never said a mean word about anybody in his life. We get it, Jack, you’re better than us.”

Jack straightens his back and smiles, proud of himself. Dean passes by him on his way out of the kitchen and squeezes his shoulder in thanks.

“A baby, huh?” Dean asks excitedly as he rummages through his and Cas’ closet for some clothes. “We should plan on staying in the bunker with them for the first few months, you know, help them out and stuff.”

Cas scoffs from the master bath. “You just want to hold a newborn.”

“Yeah, so what?” Dean joins him in the bathroom, taking his towels off his head and waist and hanging them back up on the racks. He takes a piss while Cas stands at the sink messing with his hair.

Cas is wearing a pair of black joggers and a faded pink tank top, a denim overshirt sitting on the counter. A long chain rests against his chest between his big pecs, three rings hanging from them. Two of the rings are Dean’s old ones, and the third is a new one Dean picked out for him when they moved into their house together.

Dean checks his hip against Cas’, nudging him out of the way so he can wash his hands at the sink.

“Does it bother you that we can’t just accidentally have children?” Cas asks, turning toward Dean seriously, unaffected by his naked body.

“What? No,” Dean answers. “Why, does it bother you?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

Dean grabs deodorant and pushes Cas’ arm up so he can apply it for him. “We got plenty of kids, honey.” He does the other arm. “And we’re old. I don’t need us to be the sole provider of a child for the next 18 years.” He picks up the denim shirt and helps Cas put it on.

Cas places a gentle hand on Dean’s bare hip and rubs his thumb in circles against his skin. “I just think...I think about how perfect Jack is, and how if I was still an angel and could’ve borrowed a female vessel for a while, then maybe we could’ve…”

“Jesus Christ, Cas.” He pats the slope of his belly. “OK, no more jokes about you being pregnant. It’s fucking with your head.”

“Mm, yeah.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to Dean’s mouth. “Now be honest with me, does this shirt make me look fat?”

Dean laughs as Cas expands his big stomach out and pulls at the fabric of the tank top to make it tight.

“You look perfect, sweetheart.” Dean jiggles his belly. “Fat and very gay.”

“Thank you.”

Dean puts on his usual jeans and flannel over a plain black t-shirt. He also has a necklace with a ring Cas gave him, but he wears it under his clothes and out of sight. He likes feeling it against his skin.

They eat a quick lunch with everybody before Sam and Eileen head out for their hunt. Cas and Jack go in the backyard to tend to Cas’ garden, which is full of beautiful flowers and absolutely no vegetables.

Jody shows up right when she said she would, and she passes Raven off to Dean before she’s even stepped in the door.

“I’m gonna spend the night here if you don’t mind,” Jody announces as she kicks her boots off.

Dean is cooing at the baby and tickling her belly with one finger. Right now she has dark olive skin and a head full of black hair and big gray eyes, but that could change any minute. Jody got her just a few months ago when she was trying to help her mom, a teenage shapeshifter, but the girl had a lot of complications and died during childbirth. She asked Jody to name the baby Raven after Mystique from X-Men.

Jody, claiming that she’s too old to raise a baby on her own, brings Raven over to Dean and Cas’ for at least one week per month.

“Dean?” Jody presses.

“Hmm?”

“I said I’m gonna stay here tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.” He kisses the baby’s head. “Cas and Jack are outside. Make yourself at home.”

Under her breath, Jody says, “Give a baby to Dean Winchester if you want him not to pay attention to you at all.” She walks to the kitchen and puts on a teapot.

Cas barges in the back door and makes a beeline for Dean, his hands outstretched. “Baby,” he commands.

Dean frowns but hands Cas the baby anyway. He knows if he tries to hog her, he and Cas will have a petty fight about it later.

“Yeah, good to see you, too, Cas,” Jody says, still talking in a dejected tone, grabbing mugs out of the cabinet. “You look good, you been working out? Of course you have, look at you. Yeah, I know, I look good, too. New haircut. Thanks.”

“Hello, Jody,” Cas greets, turning toward her but keeping his eyes on the baby cradled in his arms. She looks impossibly small in his hold. “Your hair looks very nice.”

“Well, thank you, Cas,” Jody says smugly. “Would you like some tea?”

“Are you offering us tea in our own house?” Dean asks.

“You told me to make myself at home.”

Cas moves Raven up to his shoulder, spreading his long, thin fingers over her back to keep her in place with just one hand. With his other hand, he pulls out a barstool at the island and takes a seat. His tank top gets stuck between his underbelly and his lap, and Dean watches, transfixed, as Cas demurely lifts his butt off the chair and flicks his free hand against his shirt to unstick it.

“Dean? You OK?” Jody asks, amused.

“Hmm?” Dean whips his head toward her. “Yeah, sorry.”

“You looked a little lost there for a second, buddy.”

“Oh, yeah,” Dean says. “I don’t know if you know this, but I’m very obsessed with Cas.”

Jody laughs. “It’s impossible to even make fun of you anymore. Like, if you’re going to be blissfully happy, at least act a little embarrassed about it.”

Dean walks over to Cas and puts his arm across his middle, presses his cheek firmly against the side of Cas’ chubby face and looks at Jody as he says, “No.”

“Jody, I would love a cup of tea,” Cas says, ignoring Dean. “Thank you.”

Raven fusses and nuzzles against Cas’ shoulder, so Dean reaches his arms out for her and says, “Too much muscle in your shoulder, she can’t get comfy.”

As Cas hands the baby over, he says, “Yes, because your bony body is so much better.”

“Do you guys even like each other?” Jody interrupts.

“No,” Dean and Cas answer in unison. They then look at each other and smile.

Cas asks Jody about the girls, which gets her on a long-winded rant, so Dean kisses Cas’ hair and heads out the back door with Raven. He walks across the porch and takes a seat on the porch swing and watches as Jack stands in front of a flower, says something to it, then moves onto the next flower and says something else.

“Are you talking to every flower, kid?” Dean calls.

Jack turns and tilts his head with a gentle smile. “I didn’t hear you come out here, Dean. Yes, I’m giving each of them longer lifespans.”

“Oh. Well, thanks.”

It’s mesmerizing, swinging back and forth and watching Jack tend to the flowers. Raven falls asleep quickly, tucked up facedown against Dean’s chest with her head turned to the side.

“See, I’m plenty easy enough to fall asleep on,” he mutters to her.

Jody comes outside a few minutes later, tea in hand. Dean scoots over so she has room to sit next to him on the swing. She doesn’t say anything, just takes a seat and drops her head to his shoulder.

“You know we can keep the kid longer if you need us to,” he says. “Cas has baby fever, so I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

“Hm. I might,” Jody considers. “Alex is really attached to her though. I am, too, but. I don’t know. It’s different for me.”

“You never thought about having a baby again in your life, did you?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”

Cas walks out next and stops right outside the door, staring straight ahead at Jack. Cas has both his wrists bent against his hips, hands palm out, straight-back posture making his gut look more pronounced than it already is.

“Hey, Jody,” Dean starts, his eyes on Cas.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think Cas is different? I mean, different than how he was as an angel.”

Jody snorts. “Um. That Cas looks like he would eat angel Cas for breakfast.”

“No, I don’t mean—” Now Dean is laughing, too. “Obviously he looks different. I mean, like, the way he’s standing right now. Don’t you think it looks a little…you know…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, yeah, but only slightly gayer than he used to act.”

Dean balks at that. “What? Really?”

“Honey, I knew Cas was gay the second time I met him. Sure, he’s definitely more comfortable and open and maybe a little more, uh, effeminate now, but he’s always been pretty clearly gay. No offense, you just weren’t paying attention.”

“Hm. Well, I’m paying attention now. Very close attention.” He surreptitiously licks his lips.

After a pause, Jody asks, “How did you live so many years of your life unaware of how horny you are for him?”

Dean puffs out a breath. “Shit, I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Like, I have a sleeping baby on me right now—one of my favorite things in the world—and yet it’s taking all of my willpower to keep sitting here with you instead of going to put my stupid hands all over him.”

Cas turns toward them then, offering a close-mouthed smile and a delicate wave of his hand, totally oblivious. “Jack is talking to the flowers,” he says loudly.

“Yeah, I know,” Dean says back, less loudly so as not to wake the baby. “Powerful as God, and he’s here talking to our fucking plants.”

Cas furrows his brow. “What did I say about cursing?”

Dean rolls his eyes.

They all hang out outside until Raven wakes up and cries for food, so Dean takes her inside and paces around the kitchen while he gives her a bottle. Cas walks through on his way to the bathroom, and Dean stops him with a, “Hey. C’mere.”

“What?” Cas asks, smiling as he closes the distance between them.

Dean leans to the side, keeping the baby steady as he kisses Cas on the lips.

Cas shakes his head when they pull apart. “You have zero impulse control.”

“See Cas, touch Cas. That’s how my brain works.”

His smile widens. “You’re lucky I’m patient.”

Later, Dean is in charge of getting Raven down for the night, Jody is taking a nap upstairs, and Jack and Cas are out picking up takeout for dinner.

The four of them eat at the kitchen table, and Dean inhales his food quickly so he can relax and sling an arm over the back of Cas’ chair while everyone else finishes. He rubs and scratches at Cas’ back while they all talk, occasionally looking over to watch Cas eat. With how muscular he is, Cas would have to have a high-calorie diet even if he didn’t also just love food, but still he eats slowly and properly as he demolishes at least twice as much as everybody else.

Dean, itching to move and sick of being in the same spot for too long, eventually leans over and nips and kisses at Cas’ neck and face, forcing him to eat even slower. Every so often, Cas turns and pecks Dean on the lips in acknowledgment of his ministrations.

“Dean, you look smaller every time I come over here,” Jody says.

“No, optical illusion. It's 'cause Cas is getting bigger,” Dean responds. He pats a loving hand against Cas’ full belly. “He can’t help that he looks extremely cute like this.”

Mouth full of food, Cas turns his head and kisses Dean’s temple in thanks.

“No, I definitely think you’ve lost weight,” Jody continues.

“Yeah, I think you have,” Cas says. “Not that you weren’t skinny before, but you’ve lost weight since you stopped drinking.”

“Mm. Yeah, I guess.” Dean puts a hand on his own stomach, noting how flat it is. He ignores the heat rising to his cheeks at the basic knowledge that Cas notices things about him.

After dinner, Jack asks if they can watch a movie together in the living room, which they of course oblige. Dean can count on zero hands the amount of times he and Cas have told Jack “no” when he’s at their house.

Cas privately asks Jody if she wants a glass of wine, which she turns down. Dean sees the conversation take place as he’s turning the TV on due to his inability to take his eyes off Cas for even one minute.

Jack, god help him, picks some tragic foreign language film and sits cross-legged on the couch with Jody. Cas and Dean settle in sideways on the loveseat, Cas’ back up against the armrest and one leg hanging off the side so Dean can sit between his thighs and rest back against his chest. Dean rubs his fingertips against Cas’ knee and listens to him unwrap candy after candy, occasionally offering one to Dean.

After about 15 minutes, Dean turns his head and cocks an eyebrow at Cas.

Cas looks back at him, confused, as he puts another candy in his mouth. “What?” he whispers.

“You’ve had, like, 20 of those.”

Cas’ face changes into gay bitchiness as he unwraps another one. “Now who’s the nagging wife?”

“Can you two can it?” Jody asks at a regular volume. “I’m trying to hear what these sad French people are saying.”

Dean ignores her and whispers to Cas, “I don’t give a shit about you stuffing your face, babe, I just wish your hands were more Dean-focused.”

“Oh. Of course, Dean.” Cas tosses a wrapper aside and puts his arms around Dean’s torso, squeezing him firmly back against him.

“Mm, that’s better.” Dean snuggles down and bends his arm up to feel Cas’ bicep.

Jody shushes them again.

Cas presses a chocolatey kiss to the bolt of Dean’s jaw and moves one hand across his waist, teasing with the waistband of his jeans. Dean grabs his hand, stopping him.

“Not in front of the kid, dude,” Dean says through gritted teeth.

“I’m not doing anything,” Cas says innocently, his lips still on Dean’s skin.

Jack pauses the movie and looks over at them with a smile. In a sweet, polite tone, he asks, “I don’t mean to be rude, but can you guys please shut the fuck up?”

Cas nudges his head against Dean’s in fake annoyance. “What did I tell you? What did I fucking tell you, Dean?”

Dean can’t stop laughing. “Yes, Jack, we’ll shut the fuck up.”

With nobody to talk to and with Cas carding his perfect fingers through his hair, Dean falls asleep within 10 minutes. He half-wakes up a little while later and finds himself curled up on his side with his legs pulled up to his chest, using his big boyfriend as a bed, his big arms a blanket, big pecs a pillow. Cas’ chest vibrates beneath his ear as he whispers something to Jody, but Dean doesn’t hear it. He balls his hand into a fist and nuzzles his face against Cas’ shirt like a baby and falls back asleep.

When he wakes up again, it’s because Cas is trying to carefully lift him up and take him to bed. He wraps both arms around Cas’ neck and his legs around his waist and hangs on tight as Cas stands, only one of his muscular arms wrapped around Dean’s butt to hold him in place.

“Wow, he really has you whipped,” Jody whispers to Cas.

Cas responds completely seriously, “Why else would I exercise so much if not for this?”

“G’night, Jody,” Dean mutters against Cas’ neck.

“Night, little baby Dean.”

Dean smiles, his eyes still closed. “I like that.”

Jody sighs. “Seriously. Impossible to make fun of him.”

Cas starts walking toward their room as he says, “Dean is an all or nothing person. So many years with so much shame, now he has absolutely none.”

“Hmm. Yeah,” Jody replies. “Night, Cas.”

Dean is fully awake by the time Cas lays him gently down on the bed. He gets up immediately, changes into pajamas and goes to the master bath to brush his teeth. Cas joins him at the sink, wearing just boxer briefs and one of Dean’s shirts. It barely covers his belly button.

“You can’t possibly be comfortable in that,” Dean mumbles with a mouth full of foamy toothpaste. “I don’t get why you’re still wearing my shirts to bed. I told you, you stretch them out and then I can’t wear them.”

Cas spits his own toothpaste into the sink and looks up at Dean through the mirror as he wipes his mouth. “Until the sleeves cut off circulation in my arms, I will keep wearing your shirts to bed.”

Dean pulls at the hem of one of the sleeves, pointing out where Cas snipped it with scissors. “Cheater.”

Once they’re in bed, Dean presses up against Cas’ side, throws one leg over him, buries his face in the crook of his neck, squeezes his butt.

“Finally,” Dean says against his skin. “I’ve been dying to touch you all day.”

Cas smiles and wraps an arm around Dean’s back, shoving his hand down his pants to grab his ass. “Yes, and you showed remarkable restraint by not touching me at all today.”

“C’mon, you know what I mean.”

Cas hums, thinking. “You don’t like having your attention divided. If you can’t focus fully on me, it feels like you’re being deprived of something.”

“Yeah.” Dean rolls completely on top of Cas and kisses the pocket of fat under his chin. “Don’t let it go to your head, though. It’s not like I’m, like, completely obsessed with you or something crazy like that.”

Cas smiles into a kiss, putting his hand to the side of Dean’s face to pull him down to his lips. Dean groans in the back of his throat and rolls his hips.

“Do you want to have sex?” Cas asks between their mouths, like he almost always does, because he has a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about sex and is perfectly content with any amount of physical contact with Dean, no matter how little. So he leaves it up to Dean: a person who needs to touch Cas so badly all the time that he feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t.

“No, not with us on baby duty,” Dean says. “Let’s just make out until I fall asleep.”

“Mm, that’s exactly what I fell from grace for.”

Dean laughs and pinches his shoulder, kisses the corner of his mouth. “Hey, you knew me when you fell. You knew what you were getting yourself into.”

Cas’ face softens. He rubs the pad of his thumb slowly across Dean’s cheek. “I did. I was willing to give up everything without ever even knowing what your lips feel like against mine. So, excuse me for thinking every second with you now is just icing on the cake.”

Dean blinks. “You’re getting better at food metaphors now that you eat so much.”

Cas allows him to trivialize the moment. He just simply smiles up at him as he wipes a tear from Dean’s face.

So Dean closes his eyes and kisses him, slowly, until he falls asleep.

-----

Dean wakes up to the sound of Raven crying over the baby monitor. She only cried once during the night, when she shapeshifted into a fat pale baby with brown eyes and thin hair and needed a bottle and a change before going back to sleep. Now it’s morning, and Dean blinks awake to the sunlight streaming onto his face. He’s on his stomach, arms wrapped around a pillow under his head, his skin unreasonably warm.

He shifts and feels Cas’ heavy arm draped across his back, his chubby hip squished against his side. Dean shuffles and turns, picking Cas’ arm up and kissing his hand before setting it on the bed and standing up.

Cas is also facedown on the bed, but instead of getting up, he burrows deeper and mumbles sleepily, “Start the coffee, please.”

Dean pinches a sliver of his love handle and leans down to kiss his cheek. “I’ll bring you a cup. Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

Cas snores softly in response.

It’s early. The house is dimly lit and quiet, and Dean takes his time changing and feeding Raven. When she’s done with her bottle, he puts her on his hip and carries her out to the back porch to listen to the birds. His phone rings.

“Yeah?” Dean answers.

“Hey,” Sam says. “So, uh.”

“Spit it out, Sam.”

“You know our new rule?”

“Not monsters until they act monstrous,” Dean says, his heart racing. “What happened?”

“Nothing too bad. It’s just that, uh, we think this pack of werewolves may have abandoned their, uh, young.”

“How old? How many?” Dean asks quickly.

“Twins. They’re small, Dean. Six months at most.”

Dean looks at Raven then at the garden in front of him. He thinks about Cas, about how wonderful of a father he is, about what he said yesterday. Then he says, “Well. Bring ‘em here if there’s no other option. We got the space.”

[itsmymeaningoflife]

Wanna hear your bullshit hehe

Hehe you asked for it. I’m gonna drop bullshit from the first half of s3 here:

- They really chose a 12 yo boy over grown women to raid the house wtf

- Carl’s crush on Beth is fucking adorable

- “While the others wash their panties let’s go hunt” Daryl darling you need to scrub your ass too

- Rick might have been a bit of a control freak in this era but at least he’s putting himself on the line over the others

- Carol almost shooting Rick bit being totally unbothered by it is hilarious

- Noticed that Daryl always keeps his distance but is always following Carol

- BACK RUB SCENE. Daryl providing physical contact and low-key also surprising himself with it is so adorable. The flirting, the innuendos *chef kiss*

- Daryl and Carol have a healthier relationship than Rick and Lori at this point. And they DEFFO sleep next to each other around the fire every night they were in the road

- The prisoners were wasted tbf. I wish they kept Oscar around as part of the main group for a few seasons. He could’ve shown the audience that not all people in prison are evil.

- Daryls obsession with not sleeping in a cage is deffo routed in trauma. He probs got locked in places as a kid

- Beths unflinching optimism / naive outlook is so pure and I love her. Damn 14 year old me for hating her

- “Not for one second do I think you have malice in your heart” YES LORI IF THAT DOESNT SUM UP RICK GRIMES IDDK WHAT DOES

- Twd really said “wow maybe we need more POC in our cast” and while they had the right sentiment they probably shouldn’t have made them all prisoners either :///

- Also Daryl taking the lead with the prisoners and being the main one to talk to them / reason with them despite Rick being a police officer is great. Give me a fic where Daryl is a youth worker

- Beth putting Carl in his place when he goes off at Lori is strong woman supporting strong woman energy

- Loris death scene makes me sob. Maggie is a real trooper in this scene too.

- Omg Daryl when he finds Carols bloody scarf and think she’s dead after they see T dogs body. He’s heartbroken that he thinks he’s lost one of his only genuine friends.

- Rick finding out Lori is dead is heartbreaking but I’ve seen too many memes of that scene to not laugh.

- Rick goes insane and Daryl immediately steps up. “Nope we’re not losing another one. Not her.” Organising a run. Pulling Beth aside to tell her to watch over Carl. We really see his leadership jump out real early.

- If Maggie wasn’t in a relationship with Glenn from the get go people would’ve shipped her with both Rick and Daryl

- Daryl seeing the “sofie” hand hurts. He really thought he was going to be the one to bring Sophia back. He believed she was alive

- DARYL WITH BABY JUDITh calling her ass kicker and sweetheart… bro my heart can’t take it. Also interesting when Carl suggests names he chooses Sofia and Carol first and the camera is focused on Daryls face.

- Daryl visiting carols grave at sunset and gently placing a Cherokee rose down and tenderly touching the cross is enough to make a grown man cry. He is deffo confused with what his feelings are and why he’s so upset that she’s gone here

- Daryl telling Carl how he was allowed to play out with other neighbourhood kids when Merle was gone and they chased a fire engine on their bikes and it ended up going to his house and his mom was dead / burnt down. Heart breaking. Trauma bonding over dead moms

- Give Daryl a child 2020 (jokes in s10 HES a chaotic sigle dad of 3)

- Daryl finding Carol knife HURTS. His voice is so wobbly and he’s so angry and he keeps the knife and he sits stabbing at the floor working himslef up to put her down. THEN HE FINDS HER ALIVE AND HOLDS HER CHIN AND CARRIED HER BACK HES A HERO

- Michonne and Rick locking eyes murderouly through the fences like damn what a way to kick start a romance

- Carl was the first to help Michonne my heart. And the way Rick hauls her over his shoulder with ease BRO… then he pours water over her boobs? Not sure why but hey I don’t question true love

- Daryl is so dramatic “hey Rick, come in here” “everything alright??” “You’re gonna want to see this” *leads everyone to carol*. He couldn’t just tell them he found her alive. I love his dramatic ass

- RICK AND CAROLS FRIENDSHIP IS everything. Also I’ll forever be salty about how we never got more of carols reaction to loris death

- Daryl calling Carol a POOR THING when he explains to everyone. Sir you are tender

- Michonne calling Maggie “the pretty girl” then one breath later calls the govener “pretty boy” is massive bi wife energy

- Rick and Daryl threatening Michonne like they won’t be tripping over themselves to lay down their life for her come season 9

- I fucking hate Merle so much. But he can’t comprehend that the group will be there to save them. He just doesn’t understand how to care for other people

- Daryl and Oscar could’ve been great friends

- Rick leaving 12 year old Carl in charge of the prison A* parenting

- Milton is the token chaotic gay scientist of twd change my mind

- The governor can rot in hell for what he did to Maggie I hate him

- Daryl sees a dead dog and makes a lassie joke? I’m sorry but this man is so funny

- Maggie said “men always have been and always will be trash”

- Axel being sleazy around Beth after Beth tells him she’s 17 and Carol immediately swooping in to protect her is PEAK MOMMA BEAR ENERGY.

- Okay but their heist to get glenn and Maggie back was elite

- The conflict on Daryls face when he realises Merle is around and his deperate voice when he’s asking Rick if he can go find him hurts my HEART

- RICK TELLING DARYL “I need you. Are you with me?” And Daryls soft “yeah” voice THAT IS THE MOMENT DARYL REALISED HE WAS APPRECIATED.

- OSCAR DESERVED BETTER. RIP KING

- Carl and beths friendship is underrated.

- Gov really thinks penny is still in there huh

- Everyone referring to Carl as “the man” is hilarious but also so concerning

- I forget how on odds Rick and Michonne were at the beginning. The original enemies to lovers

[slutfor-fictionalmen]

Hi! I'm a new follower , sent by @birds-have-teeth :)

I had sent in a request for izuku thinking it was from them but it was not (sorry again)

Well here it is :)

#4 and #6 being angsty + fluff :). Maybe Tamaki being the one Izuku is jealous of, and maybe, if it's ok with you a chubby reader (chubby baby rights 😭)

Thank you for your time :)

- ashi's 👻 anon

Sorry it’s so bad! I hope you like it! 4. “i think we’re meant to be.”

6. “my heart fucking breaks whenever i see you with him!”

He was angry. Of course he was, you were his and only his…. Right? This was the fifth day in a row that you’ve ditched izuku for some “girl time” with Tamaki. Maybe if they weren’t so similar it wouldn’t have bothered him, he would have been fine with it if it were an actual GIRL. But no, it was him, you were giving your brightest smile to HIM, laughing at HIS jokes. Izuku didn’t like it, he didn’t like how comfortable tamaki  was touching you, he didn’t like his inner dialogue of whether or not you would be better off with tamaki.

Izuku loved you, you’ve been friends for years, but you’ve never really ditched him like you have this year. It hurt him, he always thought you were his, that you were inseparable, but you needed time away eventually, you couldn’t be with him all the time….. could you? He wanted to tell you how he felt, he was going to before Tamaki came into your lives, so he just shut up.

But he didn’t want to be rude, he hated the thought of upsetting you and ruining his chances to ask you out, even if you said no….. he wanted a shot with you. He sat by and watched as you leaned into him when laughing, how Tamaki wiped the tear of laughter forming at your eye and gazed at you. It was obvious this boy loved you, he called you his bunny, stood up for you even when he would get hurt, and he was always there. Izuku hated how threatened he felt around him, how if by any chance you get together and he messes up, tamaki will sweep you off of your feet and he’ll lose you.

He watches as you stand up, flipping off Katsuki when he said something about how good you look today, and throw your trash away. He didn’t expect you to look right at him and smile. He also didn’t expect to give a half assed smile, full of hesitation and doubt. You gave him a small frown, approaching him carefully.

“Izuku? Are you ok? You look like something’s wrong-“ “can we talk somewhere private….. please?”  You pull back in surprise, a bit thrown off by his request, but agreeing and following the young hero. You turn around with your eyes closed, ready to initiate conversation in hopes that the shy man will open up.

Before you speak, you feel him push you against a wall, planting his hand above your shoulders. Your eyes shoot open, staring at the troubled man as he struggles to find words to verbalize what he needs to say. You cup his face, rubbing your thumb along his freckles and smiling slightly.

“Whatever it is, you can say it izu, you know you can always ope-“ “I hate it, I fucking hate it, I hate how he looks at you, how he acts around you, how he…. Touches you, I hate how you respond, how you act like it’s ok, how you just sit there and let him touch what’s Mine,” a blush appears on his face as he inhales shakily, “ for some sick reason I can’t stand to see you with anyone else, maybe it’s cause I think we’re meant to be  or maybe it’s because I hate him and I want you for myself because of how my heart aches… no, my heart fucking breaks when I see you with him. Whatever it is….. I don’t like it, and I’m sorry you have to find out this way…”

You laugh, surprising izuku and pulling him from his ranting. Your snorts and wheezes fill his ears, confusing him and making him regret his confession. You see him pulling back and looking away, causing you to stop and pull his face in your hands.

“You’re talking about tamaki right?” You look at him with a wide smile, confusing izuku, but still allowing him to smile, “ izu…… tamaki the man who lets me paint his nails and Is constantly seen with a new man Tamaki? Tamaki that has a rainbow sticker on his shoes to ‘stomp on the haters?’ Him?” Izuku looks lost, staring blankly before his mind collects the given information. He’s gay. Izuku slaps his forehead disappointed with himself for not seeing it sooner.

Your laughs fill his ears, making him realize just how stupid he was, how he fucked up the whole situation and was jealous of a man with no interest in her…. Or any girl whatsoever. A furious blush covers his face as he shrinks into himself from embarrassment. You take his hands in your own making him look you in the eye as your laughter dies down.

“You really mean it? That you think we’re meant to be?” Izuku nods “ Well, I just so happen to be talking to Tama about how I feel the same, that I like you a lot….. we’ve known each other for a while…. I never thought you felt the same…” Izuku caresses her face, looking at her with wide, bright eyes, and a smile.

“Even when I told you I was gonna marry you that one time?” You smiled and shook your head ,” or when I told you I loved you when you got into that agency?” You feel flushed, how did you not see it before? “I always loved you, we just never saw it possible with each other.” You lean up, pecking his lips and hugging him.

“I’m glad I got you jealous, our dumb asses would have never known without that.” You share a mutual look, knowing how oblivious you both are. Izuku’s cheeks are painted red as you enter back into the food court holding his scarred hand. You press a soft kiss onto the back of his hands before you part, returning back to your friends.

You sighed as all of your friends gave you knowing looks, and whistling at you.

Sure it was shitty timing, but looking over at Izuku, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[nolanhollogay]

“i can’t keep on making you happy”

[insert gay people break up without ever dating meme]

also warning for them talking about nsfw things at the end (and sunny being a little bitch)

-

It must be stated that Sunny's alcohol tolerance was absolutely god awful. Just completely terrible. He would have three drinks and be completely knocked on his ass by the alcohol. (The girls bullied him relentlessly for it.)

It didn't help that he was friends with the bartender at the club they were at, so his pours were incredibly generous, meaning Sunny was ingesting even more alcohol than usual. It was like the universe was determined to get him absolutely smashed. Not that he was really complaining about it.

All that being said, he was one hundred percent blaming the alcohol for him calling Aki at two in the morning.

-

Sunny woke up to the sun in his eyes and an arm around his waist, which was an incredibly common occurrence for him, so it took him a moment to figure out where he was.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and was rewarded with the blinding white walls of Aki's bedroom. Looking to his left, he was met with the top of Aki's head, pink fuzz and all.

They were both still clothed, Aki in his pajamas and Sunny wearing his jeans from the night before like some kind of heathen. So, nothing happened then. He wasn't sure if that was better or worse for his ego. Yeah, Aki hadn't decided to fuck him while he was drunk of his ass, but that means he just slept in his bed, like some kind of lovestruck pre-teen.

"You look like you're doing math in your head," Aki mumbled, face half buried in Sunny's shoulder. As he woke up more, he tightened his grip around Sunny's waist, making those dreadful little butterflies return. (For about two weeks, Sunny had become increasingly aware of Aki's affect on him, making butterflies swarm in his stomach and his face turn pink. It was humiliating.)

He nodded. He needed to get up and leave before he did something stupid. "Trying to figure out if I want to Uber or make my driver come get me."

Aki grunted as Sunny pushed him away, so he could get up. "You're just gonna leave?"

Sunny turned to look at him in confusion as he looked for his jacket. He was getting sick of losing things in this bedroom. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Do you not remember what we talked about last night?"

Sunny tried to conjure up whatever they could've spoken about, but was met with nothing. "... No?"

Aki sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "Well, you called me at two in the morning and begged me to pick you up from the bar because you didn't want to go to your empty house."

"That doesn't sound like me at all," Sunny said, now trying very hard to look for his jacket. The quicker he found it, the quicker he could leave. He really didn't need to know what his drunk self had said. That guy obviously had no self preservation.

Aki laughed, but it was short and more of a half annoyed huff then a real laugh. "You said that you liked me. That I made you happy. And then you kissed me, like properly kissed me. Then you fell asleep."

Drunk Sunny needed to be shot in the street.

Crossing his arms over his chest, as if that would shield him from vulnerability, he said, "Well, I was drunk. I was just saying things. Feel free to disregard them and anything else I may have said."

"Why do you always do this?" Aki asked, with a sigh.

Sunny raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"

"Every time you admit that you like me, you take it back."

That sentence felt like a slap to the face. Sunny nearly flinched.

"A boy isn't allowed to change his mind?" Aki didn't laugh at the joke and Sunny rolled his eyes. "What do you want me to say, Menzies? That you're the apple of my eye? That you make me happy? Let's be real here. We both know what we're doing when we hook up."

Aki scoffed. "You didn't call me last night to hook up. At least listen to yourself, Sunwoo. Be real."

Sunny hated him so much. More than he'd hated anyone in his life, and he hated a lot of people. "Fine. I'll be real. The only part of you that makes me happy is your dick. I can't stand any other part of you. You're insufferable and too tall and you have no backbone. Why would I like you when you have no personality and have nothing to offer me?"

"Fine," Aki said, not even bothering to fight back.

Sunny couldn't stop the confusion from leaking into his voice. "Fine?"

Why wasn't he fighting back? He always fought back. That was their whole thing.

"If me fucking you is the only way I'll make you happy, then I can't keep on making you happy," Aki said with a shrug. "You can go be miserable alone, because I'm not going to let you keep stringing me along."

There was a finality in his voice that made Sunny want to punch him in the face. He couldn't just leave him alone. That wasn't how this worked. Sunny didn't get left, he was the one to leave.

"Okay," was all he could muster up in response – and fuck Aki for always being the one to make him lose his words – "Have it your way, Menzies."

-

In the end, he decided to walk home, shivering without his jacket, and praying that fucking Gossip Girl wasn't around to see him cry.

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

Secrets in the tower

Summary: y/n’s secret is threatening to come out and he’s just simply not ready for that, he doesn’t want this dad, the famous Tony Stark to find out just yet. Yet, things never go according to plan, but that shouldn’t matter, however, what matters is how we react to it.

📝Words:📝 3.2k

⚠️Warnings:⚠️ internalised homophobia, sexual jokes, anxiety

💙Pairing:💙 Tony Stark!dad and reader!son, Peter Parker x male!reader (Steve Rogers x Tony Stark mentioned)

📎Note:📎Yet again, the timeline doesn’t make sense. Also, no proof read.

Being the child of an impulsive man was difficult, to say the least. And to make matters worse, that man just happened to be Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist all that jazz. Your father had a habit of being pushy, controlling and a straight-up dick. Yet, despite all of that, you loved him. He could be a pain in the ass but he never did it on purpose. You had inherited his sharp tongue so there never really was a quiet moment in the Stark-Rogers household. Steve was the man who kept your father grounded, didn’t let him get too ahead of himself. However, sometimes Tony slipped past Steve’s fingers, and on those occasions, Tony raised a lot of hell wherever he pleased and could only be talked down by you. Nick Fury had tried a couple of times, only receiving a bunch of curse words and a request to go fuck himself.

Needless to say, there was a lot of respect between your dad and you. Tony respected your wishes of having no part in the Avengers mess or you not wanting anything to do with the Stark Industries. It was a hard choice that you had to make, the company was his life’s work but you weren’t passionate about the things he was. You weren’t interested in robots or whatever it was that he was working on.

You wanted to do things you were passionate about, even if you weren’t sure what that was yet. I mean, you were still in high school, you didn’t need to know what you were interested in pursuing in the future.

Your locker slammed shut, bringing you back to reality, or more like Hell. You blinked once before turning your head to look at the man who had slammed your locker shut, somebody from the football team. They all looked the same to you, you only knew they were from the football team because of the jerseys they wore, it was all ridiculous in your opinion. Like a cult. Why do they need to wear jackets 24/7? Do they ever wash them?

The boy smiled at you, stretching out his disgusting face, ”Y/n.” He said, trying to make his voice smoky, but ended up just trembling. ”A guy who’s name I don’t even remember. What do you want?” You asked, tired already. His face dropped a little when you showed no emotion, but he composed himself quickly. ”Is it true what everybody keeps saying about you?” He asked, leaning a little closer. Your brows burrowed, ”what?”

He looked around a little before leaning in further, ”you know. Are you like gay?”

The voice rang throughout the halls it seemed, it tried to freeze you, it really did. You had to push through, nobody could know. You cleared your throat and shook your head. ”No, of course not. What do you take me for?” You asked, already turning away to leave.

”You can walk away all you want Stark boy, I know your secrets”, the boy yelled after you, catching a few looks from other students. The last part was said in a taunting sign-song way.

You fished out your phone to text Peter. ”Did you tell someone?” You typed, nervous. Peter was the only one who knew, well he had to since you two were kind of dating.

”Did I tell who what?” He asked, from behind you, startling you. He held out his phone when you turned to look at him. You stared at him, still a little spooked.

”One of the football guys came up to me. Apparently, people have been talking.” You muttered, anxious. Peter was still lost. You sighed, ”Peter, you poor sweet thing. You don’t have a thought behind those eyes, do you Peter?”

He shook his head, confused. You sighed again and showed Peter your limp wrist. Peter’s mouth immediately gaped open ”oh, you mean that. And no, I didn’t tell anyone.”

”Well somebody did. Now everybody knows!” You whisper-yelled. You were panicking. You could not have your dad finding out about this, you couldn’t. Your hands reached for your hair to pull on it. Peter luckily saw your frustration and led you away from all the people. He led you into a bathroom and made sure every stall was empty. ”Just breathe, we’ll figure this out.” Peter said and wet a paper towel with cold water, he pressed the cold paper towel on your forehead to calm you down. You closed your eyes, trying to breathe normally. It felt odd to have the power dynamic changed this way, usually, it was Peter freaking out and you reassuring him. ”I don’t really get why you’re so freaked about this. Your dad is dating Captain America, the environment doesn’t get more accepting than that.” Peter said after he figured out that your breathing had evened out. ”You’re right, I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet.” You sighed and grabbed Peter’s hand. You kissed his knuckles as a sign of thankfulness. ”Where would I be without you?” You said and cupped Peter’s cheek with the hand that previously held his hand. Peter smiled down at you, Peter was at an average height but you had gotten the little height you had from your dad, so not much.

”Why are you smiling like that?” You asked after Peter hadn’t stopped smiling at you even though it had been quite a while already. ”Just appreciating the little things in life,” he said, already laughing a little. ”Oh really?” You said and kicked Peter so that he almost toppled over. Peter groaned at the pain, it wasn’t the first time he had made that joke and it wasn’t the first time you had kicked him. You watched as Peter tried to recover before giving him your hand, ”let’s get to class shall we?” You asked and began leading him out.

You cried once you got home, you had been with Peter all day and it was already dark. You had figured that it was the best to hole away in your own room for the time being.

The elevator and your phone dinged in synch, the elevator signalling that you had reached your floor and the phone alerting you of a text message from Peter. You stepped out of the elevator and eyed the message, a link to a news article. Your finger hovered over the link for a couple of seconds before you finally clicked on it. The further you read the article the more you wanted to claw your own eyes out. ”Tony Stark’s secret child has even a bigger secret” not a title you optimally wanted to go with if you were writing an article. It does catch the eye but could use some work. The article contained some general information like your name and where you went to school, that was before a candid picture filled your screen. You and Peter in the school bathroom that morning. The article went on theorising about what was going on between the two of you, it was even hinted that you had in fact been aware of the picture being taken and only did all of that for your dad to notice you.

A rippled cry left your chest as you threw your phone. You officially hated the world and your life. It was only a matter of time before your dad found out and that is if he didn’t already know, you weren’t ready to have that conversation. It was also a matter of time before all of this was all over the news.

There was a part in your brain that thought that you being gay was an obvious thing in the sense that people would just assume your sexuality just because your dad was married to another man, that part was small but it was loud. You didn’t mind your own sexuality and you loved that your dad had found someone who he was happy with, and the fact that the person happened to be a man was just a nice plus to it all. However, you weren’t sure if everyone else saw it that way. You hadn’t grown up in the spotlight like your dad but it was only a matter of time before you ended up in it and when that happens there’s no telling how the world will react. But overall, really nice thoughts to have when you’re exhausted, you were lucky that it was Friday, you didn’t have to wake up early the next morning. You turned the light switch on in your room, only to find your dad sitting on your bed. He knew.

Tony turned to look at you when the lights turned on, he saw the fresh tear streaks on your cheeks and immediately stood up. ”What happened?” He asked and hugged you. You dropped your bag on the floor, not caring if something broke inside, you buried your head in the crook of his neck and only cried harder. Tony rubbed your back and tried to comfort you without really knowing what was wrong. You didn’t cry that often, yes you got upset pretty regularly and stuff like that but you didn’t really cry that much and even when you did cry, it wasn’t that often that your dad was there to comfort you. In his mind, you cried close to never and those times when you cried you were impossible to console. He thought that when you cried something was seriously wrong. To Tony’s relief, you quieted down after a few minutes and let go of Tony, he copied you.

You sat down on your bed, feeling a little embarrassed that you just cried into your dad’s shoulder like you were eight all over again. Both of you were silent, you waited for Tony to say something and he waited for you to collect yourself.

”You know, if somebody hurt you-” he started, only to be cut off. ”No, no dad nothing like that,” you sniffled and looked at him dead in the eye. He seemed to relax a little at that. ”Even if it was-” he continued quickly, not wanting to be cut off but was anyway. ”No, no one hurt me.” You reassured, sniffling a little. ”Why were you waiting for me anyway?” You asked after Tony remained silent. ”No it’s nothing we can talk about in the morning you seem exhausted.” He said and begun to leave. You grabbed his hand. ”No dad stay. I am tired yes but I can’t fall asleep.” You admitted. Tony sighed and sat down next to you. You let go of his hand only for him to grab it back. ”I heard a rumour.” Tony said quietly. Your shoulders stiffened as more tears filled your eyes. Tony heard your breath hitch and he turned to look at you, the sight broke his heart.

Tony shook his head, this isn’t how he thought he had raised his son, this isn’t how he wanted to handle this. ”You know what. It doesn’t matter, I love you no matter what and we do not have to talk about it, at least not until you’re ready.” Tony said and threw his arm over your shoulders. Hearing what your dad had to say relieved you, it felt nice to know that your dad would love you no matter what. It was clear since he was your dad and all but it’s good that he said it out loud. You rested your head on his shoulder and tried to enjoy this moment with him. You took a deep breath, it was now or never. You were upset that the world had once again ruined something of yours but it wasn’t like you to just give up at a little setback, with that attitude you would never have gotten anywhere in your life. ”It’s true, you know.” You finally said out loud. You felt as Tony tensed a little and you turned to look at him, he was smiling. ”Yeah, kinda figured.” He said and laughed, causing you to playfully slap him. ”On a more serious note, I don’t really get why you wouldn’t tell me but I respect your decision.” He admitted, kind of ruining the moment you were having. ”I didn’t tell you because I felt like it was somehow expected of me, not by you but by others. I think that people find it obvious that I’m gay and I don’t want to be known as that gay guy.” You confessed, hoping your dad wouldn’t feel bad. ”That sounds like internalised homophobia my dearest son.” Tony said. He was right, it’s difficult to say if that was normal or not but nevertheless, he was right. You nodded as a sign of understanding. "Did you see the news article?" You asked, kind of already knowing the answer. "Yeah, it's being taken care of," Tony replied, easing your anxieties about the whole ordeal a little bit.

”I hate that this needed to be a conversation. I just wished that when you started dating someone it would just be like at thanksgiving you walk in and introduce the guy and ask us to clear space for one more chair. I would’ve of course interrogated the guy but I feel like I have the right to-” Tony rambled. You laughed at your dad, he was good at heart and loved you very dearly. ”I don’t think you need to clear space at the table for a chair or interrogate Peter.” You said once Tony stopped rambling. ”I’m still going to interrogate him.” Tony said, knowing that his son was once again right. ”But Peter Parker as your first boyfriend is a good start. He sets the bar a little too high though, doesn’t he?” Tony said, earning a giggle out of you. ”First and only. It doesn’t get much better than Peter Parker does it?” You joked, well you weren’t really joking but you said it that way to not freak your poor old dad out. ”Yeah, he’s a keeper.” Steve’s voice boomed from the door. You and your dad both turned to look at Steve. ”Hi dad.” You said.

You had known Steve for almost your entire life, even if he and your dad hadn't been married for that long. Steve just always kind of was your dad. At the times when Tony would lock himself in his lab for days on end out of old habits, Steve would be there. Steve would keep you company and take care of you for a few days until he too became fed up with Tony being in the lab. Then he would put you on a "secret mission" of rescuing daddy from his lab where he was being held captive by his mind. Later on, you realised that the game had a lot more truths to it than one would imagine. You were even the person to ask your dad to marry Steve.

"Okay sweetie, give this little box to your dad and tell him it's from me," Steve had whispered to you. The both of you had stood in the elevator, on your way down to Tony's lab where he had been for two days already. "I think he knows it's from you." You had whispered back, not really understanding why you were whispering. Steve had given you a lot of instructions on what to do since he had been incredibly nervous. When the doors had opened and you had seen your dad sat in his usual spot you turned to Steve and whispered. "I'm going in blind now. Your plans suck."

Steve had watched from the elevator as you had skipped over to your dad, beaming with happiness. "Hi, daddy!" you had greeted Tony, who had put his screwdriver down and bent down to pick you up. "Hi, sweetie." Tony had greeted you back and placed you on his table, waiting eagerly on your next move. Steve had watched as you swung your legs back and forth and talked your mouth off to your dad whatever it was that had invaded your mind at the age of nine. It was most likely something about your birthday gifts that you got a couple of days earlier. Steve found the sight absolutely adorable, Tony had been hanging at the edge of his seat while listening to you and you were swinging back and forth while talking about something. Tony had even commented on things in between like: "oh now she didn't!" and "Oh I bet!" only to be told off by you: "Daddy you're talking over me. If you're goim to treat your child this badly this young you better fear the old people home you're goim to be put into."

"Did you really come all this way on the elevator to tell me about all of this?" Tony had asked you once he was sure that you had finished talking. "Oh no I didn't. Dad wants to rim you and wanted me to ask you!" You had beamed with proudness, finally, you were getting ahead with your mission. Steve had facepalmed in the elevator, he was sure that Tony would break, but he didn't. "You know squid I think I'm going to need a little more information on this." Tony had said, holding in a lot of laughter. You had reached into your dungarees, finally pulling out the small box and handing it to Tony. "That's for the rim." You had said and pointed at the box. Steve would have killed to see Tony's face at that moment when he had opened the box. Steve had seen how a wide smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Sweetie we talked about that -ng sound." Tony had finally said. You had huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. It wasn't your fault that sometimes others didn't understand you! When you got excited things sometimes got a little jumbled up.

Tony had turned to you after placing the box back on the table. "Will you tell daddy that I would love to wear the ring?" Tony had said and reached to put you back down from the table. "You can tell daddy yourself." You had said and pointed at Steve who was just walking out of the elevator. Tony turned to look at Steve. "So you want to rim me?" Tony had asked Steve who coughed to hide his laughter. "We practised but it didn't really work out," Steve said and placed his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Well daddy's plans suck so I had to go in blind!" you had tried to defend yourself. Tony had agreed with you. "So that's off the table?" Tony asked, looking up to Steve. "No definitely not, it just depends on if you say yes," Steve said, trying to make himself seem confident when in reality he was shitting himself. Tony grabbed the box and placed the ring inside on his finger. "Consider me a rimmed man!" he said and stood up from his chair to kiss Steve.

You shuddered at the sudden flashback, both of your dad's looked at you, concerned. "Just thought about when dad proposed. Just got the joke," You said and scrunched up your nose in disgust. Steve and Tony both laughed.

[restapesta]

Fucking Milkovich

words: 5.5k

Five times Ian pulled Mickey away from starting a fight and the one time the roles were reversed.

1. THE STORE

The old lady had been side-eyeing them since they accidentally bumped into her at the wine aisle, Mickey backing into her as he and Ian led a loud, heated discussion about whether or not the Rose that was in Ian's hand was the same one from the gay party they had attended a couple of days before.

Ian was dead set on saying that it was the same bottle of pink wine and that even if it wasn't, it probably tasted the same, all the while Mickey was dead set on proving to Ian that the bottle was most certainly not the same one and that they should crack it open and try it even if they were still in the middle of the supermarket. They were bickering back and forth, not paying much attention to their surroundings, and Mick had backed away from the rack of wines, unceremoniously colliding with the gray-haired lady who was pushing a cart filled to the brim with groceries. It was a miracle the items hadn't toppled out, considering there was a mountain of them. Ian wondered how steadily the lady must've been pushing the cart, and how close his husband had come from knocking it all down.

Mickey had muttered a quick sorry and Ian had shot the lady an apologetic look when she just stared at Mickey and the tattoos that covered his hands and arm, blatantly revealed by his short-sleeved t-shirt. Ian had told him he looked hot in it that morning, so Mickey had kept the jacket off, appeasing his husband's gaze. He felt a bit cold but Ian's eyes following unapologetically as his arms flexed made it all worth it.

Ian gestured for Mickey to leave the aisle with his eyes, accompanied by a sharp tilt of his head -- and they continued their way to the other racks of food and drinks, Ian placing the bottle of wine in their own basket. They weren't there for a full-on grocery run. They were in Costco purely because their snacks and beer needed stocking up, and they needed some shit for the mac-and-cheese Mickey had been craving. Ian had lost a bet while they were at work today so he promised to make him some -- a deed Mickey was quite happy about.

They bumped into the lady once more at the cash register. There were some people six feet in front of them (considering they kept their distance), unloading their stuff, and the woman was mere inches behind them, as if she was waiting in line with the couple, not behind them, pressed close. Mickey shot her a glance and when he noticed her scowl, he gave her a slight smile that Ian knew was obviously not a smile, but rather a 'hello lady I crashed into, why are you standing so close, back away from me and my tall ginger before I tell you to back the fuck away'  threat. He had a feeling the lady caught on to what Ian did, but chose not to comply, considering how her scowl deepened and how she seemed to press impossibly closer.

Mickey and Ian shared a look but kept their mouths shut, preparing to unload their shit onto the moving thingy -- but then the old bat spoke.

"Least you could do is let me cut the line." She was looking straight at Mickey, and to Ian,  judging by the look on his husband's face, it seemed as if he was considering it. But when his gaze swept over the pile in her cart -- the one almost spilling over -- he simply shrugged, "No. I couldn't."

Mickey kept unloading the few items they did have, and Ian followed his lead, but the lady was persistent. "You are very unkind."

Mickey simply muttered an 'uh-uh' as he grabbed the money out of his jacket.

"You should be ashamed."

Mickey rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb and Ian knew that signaled danger, so he pushed him lightly with his shoulder, gesturing for him to pay. Mickey obliged begrudgingly, choosing to ignore the bitch. The cashier was just finishing placing their shit into the plastic bag, handing it to Ian, also handing Mickey back the change. They were going to leave the place unscathed.

Too bad the bitch couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"You should put a leash on him."

Before Mickey had a chance to jump her and gauge her eyes out, Ian wrapped his hands around his torso and pushed him towards the door of the store, whispering 'calm the fuck down' to him curtly, the grocery bag in his hand making it harder to sustain his husband. It wasn't the first time he had done this, and he doubted it would be the last. It was somewhat of a struggle but Ian managed. He also tried to ignore the look of pure horror on the grandma's face.

When he was finally able to get Mickey through the door -- while the guy spewed graphic insults at the hag -- he let go, making sure to keep him a safe distance away from the store.

"What the fuck is it with old bitches being so fucking rude?" Mickey muttered loudly, grabbing the bag out of Ian's hand and pulling out the Rose. He opened the bottle easily and took a long gulp, emptying a third of the bottle with it. His face scrunched up immediately. "I fucking told you it wasn't the same one!"

Ian just shook his head.

Fucking Milkovich.

2. THE JOB

The day had been pretty slow. They had their regular cash pick-ups and deliveries, and they had finished most of them, considering how the day was nearing its end. Both Ian and Mickey were ready to get back home and crash on the couch, maybe down a beer or two, and especially take off the uniforms that had truly made them sweat today. Spring was coming, and fuck if Ian wasn't ready for the onslaught of discomfort the camo brought on with it. Mickey didn't look like he minded it much, but Mickey was Mickey, so it wasn't a surprise. Ian, on the other hand, was already considering alternatives.

They were delivering their last bags of weed, taking a long ass drive to fucking HerbalCare, knowing it would take them a while to get back home too -- but the Northsiders that owned the place were kind of their regulars, so they were used to it.

Both Ian and Mickey expected the usual chick to show up and pick up the marijuana when they eventually got to the place -- the one with the curly red hair and a sassy attitude -- but instead, an unknown guy did with a large-ass man following shortly behind.

The first guy looked like any other -- casual clothing, friendly face, easy demeanor -- unlike -- what Ian supposed was -- his bodyguard. He looked like a capo with his broad shoulders, tight black shirt, tattoos littering his body, head cleanly shaved. Ian glanced reluctantly at his own thug, mentally praying Mickey had a bullet that could take down the motherfuckers in front of them if necessary.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" The normal-looking one spoke.

Mickey nodded, also slightly taken aback, but not letting it show. "We have a delivery for HerbalCare." He glanced at Ian. "For Dina? Wasn't it?"

Ian nodded slowly, assessing the situation.

"I'll take it from here." The guy responded, eyeing Mickey up and down. "Dina is currently busy at the moment." Mickey didn't seem too happy with the asshat's statement. Ian wasn't either, naturally. The man had an odd vibe to him -- he seemed on edge despite his cool facade, and Ian saw straight through it. He glanced at Mickey who seemed to have been noticing the same thing. They were not handing shit over to these assholes. There's a certain trust you had to earn before claiming a couple of thousand dollars worth of weed from Gallavich Security.

"How 'bout I just speak to Dina, yeah?" Mickey's voice was calm and eery -- he was in boss mode. The mode that even scared Ian, sometimes. It was dangerous territory these guys were treading on if Mickey had resorted to going into the mode only slightly less scary than Milkovich thug mode.

The dude, still nameless, smiled without humor. "Why don't you just give me the weed, huh?"

Mickey pulled out his gun swiftly, pointing it straight at the guy's head. The shock on his face only lasted for a moment before it turned into a smirk. The capo next to him pulled out his own, only slightly smaller than Mickey's, pointing it at Mickey's head.

Well, shit.

Ian pulled out the gun from his waistband, feeling slightly worried for his and his husband's safety, pointing it at the tall-ass man. It was like a scene from a movie. A poor, shitty-quality one.

"How about we all just put down our guns and we'll come back when Dina gets here?" Ian's voice was smooth and the silence hung lowly over them for a couple of moments. Ian was never a gun sort of guy, but rather a talk-it-out one.

They eventually all put down their guns, albeit reluctantly.

"Okay, then. Guess we'll be seeing you." The guy muttered as he turned his back to Ian and Mickey, capo following behind, shooting them a glare. Their movements were slow and deliberate, but eventually, when they were a safe distance away, the capo turned around and shot them the middle finger.

Ian was just barely in time to stop Mickey before he leaped out to kill the motherfucker.

He wrapped his arms around him like a boa constrictor, attempting to stop him from committing homicide. As always, it took a while.

Mickey growled after a minute or two, finally calming down, glaring at the spot the asshole thieves were a few moments before. "Oh, you fucking will be seeing me. You'll be seeing me in your nightmares, you motherfuckers."

Ian barely contained himself from rolling his eyes.

Fucking Milkovich.

3. THE ALIBI

Ian had been nursing a beer for the past hour while his worse half had already downed three. Mickey was on his fourth glass of Budweiser, slightly tipsy, but not quite drunk just yet as he and Ian enjoyed their night out, something one might even call a date (correction: something only Ian would call a date).

They had gone out for chicken wings, played some pool after dinner -- even took a fucking stroll out -- and now, they were chilling at the Alibi Room, enjoying each other's companies, talking about anything and everything, laughing at Kevin's jokes and making fun of Kermit and Tommy, the regular drunks of the Southside.

It was a slow day today, their job weighing a little extra heavy on their shoulders, but the night was swift, in contrast. In fact, they were having a really good time, letting go of all of the fucked-up things happening in their lives right now, the burden coming off of their shoulders, even for a little while. And Ian was especially looking forward to the sex that was bound to follow when they got back home. Hell, if Mickey continues drinking the beers at this pace, maybe even in the bathroom -- it truly only depended on the level of horniness the drunken state would illicit.

They were still enjoying their alcohol and horniness when Kermit had decided to remind everyone of a comment. Ian guessed it wasn't supposed to be that big of a deal. Both Ian and Mickey had dealt with far worse from people far shittier than Tommy and Kermit. But the comment  --  the one about how Tommy was against their wedding, saying it was a man-woman thing -- didn't really sit well with either of them. Ian had no idea how the topic even came up, and the whole 'kind of drunk and talk-y' Mickey wasn't helping the case, but the words most certainly had an undesired effect on the couple.

Mickey had stilled immediately.

It wasn't that big of a deal. Homophobes were all around them, and they knew that Tommy was as gay and as homophobic as any of them, and Mickey would probably ignore the comment had he not been this content with the night he was having.

Here he was with Ian, having a great time, enjoying his life, his marriage, and over-all his husband, and this asshole was going to ruin it with this comment. This stupid, meaningless comment.

Neither Ian nor Mickey lived in a fantasy -- the one where everyone was supportive of the gays and where love was simply love, no matter if it was between a male and a female, or a male and a male -- but sometimes, they forgot what world they actually lived in and in those moments they were at their most vulnerable to these sort of remarks. They cut them deep, Mickey especially.

He was so happy with Ian, so happy with his marriage, the life they shared, that the outside world rarely even mattered. But when he heard someone saying how they shouldn't have gotten married -- shouldn't have been enjoying their love and relationship, shouldn't be where they are now -- Mickey got pissed.

"Oh yeah, Tommy? Man-woman thing?" Mickey's voice was unnervingly steady.

Kevin eyed Kermit, silently conveying the question, "why the fuck would you say that". Kermit shrugged but Mickey only had eyes for dear old Tom. He was watching him like prey.

Tommy gulped, not as afraid of Mickey as he used to be, but definitely not one-hundred percent safe around him either. Everybody knew Mickey protected himself and his family -- Ian and the Gallaghers -- only. Everyone else could just go fuck themselves. Tommy fell into the latter group.

"That's just the way I've been taught. Y'all are good, enjoy your marriage." He attempted to climb out of the hole he had dug for himself but it wasn't really working. The asshole had made it too deep and had fallen into it headfirst.

"Oh, I'm so fucking happy I have your approval." Mickey bit back.

"Oh, no," Ian muttered lowly. "Mick."

"You should be happy I don't have a gun on me now. Now, while I'm on a date with my husband." He annunciated the words slowly, making sure Tommy understood and heard them very well and remembered them for good. Ian's heart fluttered at the mention of the word date, but he reeled it back in for now. He could enjoy it later when Mickey wasn't on the verge of murdering someone.

"Hey man, how 'bout you just calm down?"

Tommy really wanted to die today.

Ian was pushing Mickey out of the bar before he strangled the man with his bare hands. Mickey cursed as they were leaving, resisting his husband as he attempted to drag him out. Ian barely got them through the door, and when he did, Mickey tried hard to go back in.

Ian hissed at him to stop. Eventually, Mickey did.

"I see him one more time, I'm killing him, understood?" Mickey was baring his teeth at the bar as if Tommy could see him. "Him and his counterpart."

Ian closed his eyes briefly.

Fucking Milkovich.

4. THE BLEACHERS

It had always been their spot. From the beginning, it was a place for Ian and Mickey to run away to, not just to hook up, but to escape their lives and the turmoils of their families, each fucked up in its own fucked up way. It was easy for them to just disappear for a while, fucking against the fence, shot-gunning beer with no one to reprimand them for when they left the cans on the stadium, the world completely oblivious that it was the odd duo. Not just Mickey Milkovich, the infamous Southside thug, and not just Ian Gallagher, the skinny army ginger -- but both Ian and Mickey, a pairing no one saw coming, not from a million light-years away.

It was easier back then, sure, but now, it was better. They used to just fuck underneath the bleachers, making it nothing more than a hook-up spot, barely touching after sex, drinking beer like just a couple of friends, not like they were in between rounds, Ian aching for more, Mickey denying him access to it. Ian knew Mickey wouldn't even admit they were friends back then.

But then again, it was different then than it was now.

Now the bleachers were their spot. Not just a fuck spot like it used to be. No -- it was a hangout spot. They didn't have their own place yet -- that was still a work in progress -- and when the Gallagher house became too loud and too messy for them to just enjoy their night, outside of the confines of their room, they went to the bleachers.

It wasn't a regular occurrence, more like a once-a-month sort of thing, but it still felt great and rejuvenating -- it felt like them. A space in the dark where they could just talk and drink and mess around and make out in, unapologetically relieved of the burden on their shoulders, whatever it may be.

Tonight was a night like that, a night where all they wanted and needed to do was escape -- Terry's death was still weighing heavy on Mickey's soul, for reasons Mickey and Ian both had yet to uncover, and the house was brimming with too many Gallaghers with too many opinions and observations. They needed a break.

The spot under the bleachers was supposed to be reserved for them as always, and they had brought along a six-pack of beer as well, deciding to just get drunk, even if they still had to get to work the next morning. It would be a good ending to a shitty week.

But the asshole kids sitting at their spot weren't gonna let that play out.

Ian and Mickey were aware that they were grown-ass men, but it was ten pm and these children had no right to even be near the bleachers let alone smoking and drinking underneath them. They were far from teens and they reminded Ian of himself and Lip when they were mere eleven-year-olds trying to figure the messed-up world out.

Mickey didn't really see it that way. He was clearly just annoyed.

"Beat it." He said in a curt voice, flicking his wrist to point to the imaginary exit. Ian followed suit reluctantly, only after trying to convince Mickey to just let them have at it and go to the dugouts instead.

"No Ian, we came here because this is our spot and these little fuckers need to go." Mickey had responded.

Ian was aware his husband had issues.

He was used to it.

The kids laughed, the three voices laughing merging, sounding more like a pack of hyenas. "Watcha' gonna do about it, grandpa?"

Mickey had a very shitty couple of days.

Mickey was not a well-tempered person.

Mickey was on the verge of killing something.

These kids were the catalyst.

When Mickey took a swift step towards them, Ian was once again -- how many times was it, now? -- holding him back. The kids scattered around, scared shitless of the thug. They were gone in the blink of an eye.

Ian felt sorry for them, but he was happy that, at least, Mickey didn't dump their tiny bodies in the river. Not that Mickey would've actually done that.

Ian hoped.

"I was one second from threatening to eat them for lunch," Mickey grumbled. He then pointed at the free spot. "At least they're gone. Gimme that beer, I wanna have some good drunk sex."

He made a gesture with his fingers and smiled as if nothing had happened. Wasn't Ian supposed to be the crazy one?

Fucking Milkovich.

5.  THE GALLAGHER HOUSE

Debbie Gallagher was extremely annoying nine times out of ten. Ian Gallagher knew it. Mickey Milkovich knew. The entire Gallagher clan knew it. But today, she seemed especially bitchy.

It was a Friday night -- usually reserved for a good home-cooked meal, chilling on the couch, watching TV,  and just having a family night altogether. Even Lip and Tami were in the house on Fridays, bringing Fred along to play with Franny and Liam (who would more-so look after them than play with them).

That's how the nights usually went.

But tonight, Debbie the Brat had every intention of fucking it up.

She sauntered into the house, bitchiness oozing from her pores, head held high even though it should have been bowed down in shame. She was drunk off her rocks, and she was dragging Franny along with her.

"Hi, assholes." She greeted the family in the kitchen, letting go of Franny's hand, pulling her sunglasses off to reveal blood-shot eyes. God knows where the hell she had been today. All Ian knew was that she left the house sober with Franny and was now completely drunk, if not high, the little girl still trailing behind.

"Wash your hands, Fran," Liam instructed, eyeing Debbie up and down. She seemed even more fucked up than usual in his eyes.

She plopped herself down on the closest free chair which happened to be across Mickey. It was quiet for a few moments, everyone waiting for something to happen. Debbie was an unpredictable drunk, something they were only lately discovering.

It seemed like Debbie had woken up today and chosen violence.

She looked straight into Mickey's eyes. "Your cousin is a cunt."

Mickey raised an eyebrow while the other Gallaghers observing the exchange. Ian was sat next to him. He put his utensils down, not sure how this exchange was going to unravel, also pulling Mickey's knife out of reach, in a way he hoped was inconspicuous.

Just in case.

"She is a self-absorbed cunt who has no business in this house anymore." Deborah continued as if someone gave a shit. Mickey especially.

He shrugged. "Last I'd seen her was the morning after you guys broke up. I couldn't give less of a shit about whether or not she's with you or not with you. For fuck's sake, the break-up happened a long-ass time ago, get over it." Mickey looked down at his plate, continuing to eat his dinner, clearly signifying the conversation was over. He glanced at Ian when he couldn't find his knife.

Instead of moving on, Debbie grabbed a loaf of bread and threw it at him.

Mickey stilled.

Carl elbowed her hard but she paid no attention to the warning. She was having a staring contest with Mickey Milkovich. One she would eventually lose.

"Back the fuck off, Debbie," Ian warned himself.

She switched her gaze from Mickey to Ian. Her gaze was murderous. "Or what, Ian? You'll try and kill me with a bat?"

Collective silence fell over the table. Noone seemed to be breathing. All eyes switched to Ian, gauging his reaction, not believing the words that had left Debbie's mouth, but even warier of the ones that were bound to leave Ian's.

Ian had other things occupying his mind, though, and one of those things was his husband who was probably a second away from killing his sister-in-law.

"You bitch." Ian held Mickey down by his shoulders as he attempted to climb over the table and tackle her to the floor. "You and your condescending cunt can fuck off."

"Mickey. Come on." Ian pushed him out of the chair and shoved him lightly, indicating for him to go upstairs.

"No, Ian. She needs to be set fucking straight, or else you'll have a new Frank on your hands. This bitch." He fought against him as Debbie just sat still.

"Mickey." Ian shoved him towards the stairs, afraid he would have to explain to the cops how his husband murdered his sister if Mickey didn't leave the room, immediately. Mickey noticed Ian's serious expression, and slowly climbed up, all the while muttering to Debbie to go fuck herself.

Ian glanced at Debbie from where he stood.

"What?" She asked, innocently.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Debbie snorted. "Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Not like it wasn't true."

"I couldn't give less of a shit whether or not you think I'm crazy. You come in here and talk to Mickey like that again, I will be using a bat. Only then you'll see how crazy I can get." Ian was dead serious.

It was the first time since she came in that her eyes truly widened in fear.

He backed away upstairs slowly.

The rest of the Gallaghers were silent for a moment before they all collectively shot Debbie a dirty look, soon erupting in chatter, as if nothing had happened.

It had been merely a few seconds before Ian had entered their room, when Mickey finally started his rant, talking shit about Debbie, defending Ian being at the core of it all.

He had a lot to say, and Ian was going to listen to it all, like the supportive husband he was, always taking Mick's side.

As he listened to Mickey rant about Debbie, he thought about what he had said to her. It was true -- every single word that had left his mouth. He hoped she and the rest of them -- no matter who it was -- understood.

Mickey was more important to him than anyone else in this world, even his sister. He was Ian's family, his next of kin, the one Ian trusted and loved the most. When push comes to shove, he will chose him, no matter what. He will always choose his husband, the love of his life, his worse half.

God, he was soft.

Fucking Milkovich.

+1 THE STORE, THE JOB, THE ALIBI, THE BLEACHERS, THE GALLAGHERS

"You really keep me from killing people, man. Feel like I should thank you."

Mickey had muttered that lowly in the dark, his head resting on Ian's chest, both of them naked, enjoying their post-sex bliss. It was then when they were at their most open, letting out emotions and feelings that usually didn't seep into the mundane day.

Ian ran his fingers along Mickey's bare back, enjoying how Mickey shivered against them. "You do the same thing." He answered simply.

Mickey raised his head slightly to look at his husband. "No, I don't. I've never had to physically pull you away from stabbing or strangling someone."

"You do realize I usually get as pissed off as you do at these things."

"These things?"

Ian rolled his eyes in the dark. "C'mon Mick. You really think I'm okay with an old lady calling you rude and ignorant and judging you like you're nothing but a street rat. Or some assholes flipping us off after trying to steal our weed?" He adjusted his arm so it rested over Mickey's shoulder, Mickey's cheek pressed into his peck. "You think I don't get mad when Tommy talks about how we shouldn't have gotten married because we're men? Or how Debbie had the audacity to talk to you like that, in front of me."

"You never react to it, though. That's why I don't pull you away from starting shit. You kind of just stay calm." Mickey responded to Ian's short monologue.

Ian chuckled. "Mick. If I wasn't so busy pulling you away, I'd probably be the one murdering them all."

This time Mickey raised his head to fully look at Ian. They adjusted their positions so it was easier to keep each other's gaze.

"I'm serious," Ian responded to Mickey's expression of disbelief.

Ian was completely and utterly serious. That shit happened a lot.

In fact, had Ian not been so busy pushing Mickey out of the store, the plastic bag filled with shit they needed for dinner and the expensive -- but probably not correct -- Rosè in one of his hands, making sure his husband didn't go to prison for stabbing the geriatric bitch, he would have gotten really fucking pissed and probably have gone off at the grandma himself.

If Mickey didn't attempt to go after the fucking thieves, like the sociopath he was, Ian would've probably pulled out his gun and pointed it at the men's fucking back. Maybe he would've even tried emptying the clip.

Mickey trying to strangle Tommy was good enough of a distraction for Ian not to beat the asshole up himself. How fucking dare he talk about marriage like that, the drunk bitch. Ian would've been a second away from hurling himself at Tommy and beating the shit out of him -- but fuck it if Ian was gonna let Mickey get arrested for aggravated assault and risk his parole.

The kids at the bleachers didn't bother him. He knew Mickey had a soft spot for kids himself, so it was more of a hissy fit than a homicidal fit.

Debbie was the one that truly made his blood boil.

"You know," Ian began. "I would've probably signed a death warrant on Debbie and mine's relationship that night if you weren't there."

"How so?" Mickey was caressing Ian's cheek with his thumb, giving him the biggest case of heart-eyes. Ian didn't doubt that was how he was looking at Mickey himself.

"When she was saying that shit, all I could think of was making sure you didn't kill her. I barely registered what the fuck she was saying. I was trying to keep you from flipping the table and making Franny an orphan." Mickey rolled his eyes but kept silent. He knew there was truth in Ian's words. "But, if you weren't there. If Debbie had just started talking about me and the whole bipolar thing and I didn't have you to keep me from actually letting the words sink in..." He drifted off, not knowing how he would've reacted. The words would have probably cut him deep.

Shifting closer, Mickey pressed his palm against Ian's cheek. "Do we need to talk about how you should under no circumstance listen to your bitch of a sister? What happened all those years ago happened while you were manic and off your meds. Her using that as a comeback in an argument is low and a fucking betrayal. Right now, you are the healthiest you've been since your diagnosis and you shouldn't let her get in your head. Hell, if I have to, I'll fucking try and murder anyone to stop the words from -- what did you say -- sinking in?" Ian laughed wetly, feeling himself get emotional over Mickey's little speech.

"You're amazing, Ian." He finished. "I'm proud of you."

Ian pulled Mickey's body close, making their naked bodies press flush against each other. Their noses touched as Ian took a moment to appreciate what the universe had given him. The soft lines of Mickey's face, the blemishes, and the tiny scars -- the eyebrows Ian had joked were iconic to him -- everything that made Mickey Milkovich his Mickey.

A kid forged in hate and homophobia, morphed by the Southside into a short-tempered thug, capable of murder in the blink of an eye if you so much as looked at him wrong. A Milkovich taught to care for nobody but family, to stay loyal to them and never snitch, but also taught to put a bullet in their fucking heads if betrayed. A hard-ass and a thief, ready to shamelessly steal from any store of his choosing, barely giving a shit whether it lands him in juvie or not.

A man capable of so much love. A man who took care of Ian when he was at his worst, made sure to keep him safe and protected. The man who came out for him in front of his worst nightmare, all so he could keep Ian, even if he was nothing but a mess kept together by unawareness. A man capable of murder for Ian. A man capable of running away with Ian. A man capable of going back to prison for Ian. A man who loved Ian, and would always try to keep him safe.

"You done staring?" Mickey smirked at him.

Ian smiled, shaking his head slightly. "I don't think I'll ever be." He then added, quietly, "I'm so lucky."

Mickey nodded, his lips mere inches away from Ian's. "I am too."

Soft lips moved against each other slowly, creating a rhythm Ian never wanted to lose.

He knew he never would.

His life, even after all the worst possible shit a person could imagine, was pretty fucking great. All thanks to Mickey.

His husband.

His partner.

His soulmate.

His worse half.

His Milkovich.

THE END

[bluefirewrites]

Prince Protection Program AU

The response to the last post has been amazing. Thanks guys. I don’t plan on making a full on story ( I did at one point, but I have a lot of WIPs to work on), but I still have some riffs to unleash. This is my take on the boys’ life  pre-PPP. Enjoy!

(Also changed the name of Reggie’s kingdom and swapped it for Luke’s btw) 

Link to first post and artwork

Palace life sucked ass.

Usually Lukas would experience that brief split-second of bliss waking up in the morning, where he would blink against the Mediterranean sun seeping through the cracks in his curtains, the feeling of his body cocooned in silk sheets hitting him first and not the fact that he was the Crowned Prince of Solaria.

But after that, it all came crashing down on him in the form of knocking on his door, followed by the more forceful opening of his door, and the filing in of his guardian.

“Ugh,” the prince rolled around, stuffing his head under a pillow, “Five… minutes…”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” James stalked over, tugging the covers off of him, causing Lukas to groan at the loss of warmth, “You know what today is.”

How could he not? It had only been the very thing his parents would talk about for the past year-

The day he would be crowned king.

As was tradition, he was seventeen years of age, the time for him to learn how to be a proper ruler to succeed his father King Mitchell.

Though the problem lay in the very fact that Lukas was many things.

But proper he was not.

Lukas rose, reluctantly, which struck James quite odd. Normally there would be more complaints, a bout or two before he would summon the guards to extricate him from the bed.

“I’ll-” A yawn broke out and the young man rubbed his eyes to rouse himself, “I’ll be there soon.”

James raised an eyebrow.

Lukas lifted a palm in good faith, “I promise.”

The older man stared at him for a moment before leaving to attend to other duties. As soon as he left, the prince quietly tip-toed to the doors, pressing his ear against the cool wood and waited. The sounds of footsteps faded, marking his guardian’s disappearance around the corner.

“Sucker,” Lukas laughed, before shrugging on a shirt, swiping his headphones off his desk, and booking it to his balcony.

He had about a minute and half to scale down the vines encasing his wing of the palace before the guards caught him. 

Over the years, he had to get a bit creative to evade palace security, with his parents sealing off most exits, doubling the guards stationed by his window at night, but nowadays it was much easier to do the riskier, more obvious way to escape. 

No one would expect it.

Hopping down to the lower level and pressing himself against the wall, he crab-walked until he found the door leading into the kitchen.

He slipped through, greeting the staff who all shook their heads at him. They knew better than to dissuade him from doing what he was about to do.  All Geneveive, the head cook, could do was send him off with a bag of food with a “Hurry back now or James will have our heads.”

Biting off a piece of bread, he thanked her with a wink and was off, dancing around the extra busy kitchen and putting on his headphones in the process.

With Nirvana blaring in his ears, Lukas made it to the waterfront and hopped into one of the more modest fishing boats (exchanging one of Genevieve’s sponge cakes for the keys. Thank you, Garrison) and motored off to the islet a few miles out.

20 minutes later, he moored to the dingy port where two other boats were stationed on the small piece of land.

“Oh my god,” he heard someone holler, a guy about his age with jet-black hair and swim trunks, “Is that the future King of Solaria?”

Lukas rolled his eyes, lugging around the small back, “Oh my god. Is that Reginald? The future King of the Crescent Cape?” he mimicked.

Another boy, blonde and tall, lay under the shade of a tree reading, scoffed, “Unfortunately.”

Reginald and Lukas locked eyes and smirked.

“Wait,” Reginald squinted at the blonde, “Is that- No way! It is, Lukas!”

“It so is!” Lukas gasped excitedly, “You’re Prince Alexander!”

“Of the Grybrian Isles? OMG!”

“Thought he’d be taller,”

“Thought he’d be more handsome,”

Alexander got to his feet, rolling his eyes, “Alright. Can you two be any more louder? Do you want them to find us?”

“Chill, they haven’t caught us yet,” Reginald reassured, leading the two other princes deeper into the patch of greenery on the tiny island, one that they all had discovered and have been running to to get away from prince duties for years now.

Lukas would have been driven to madness by royal duties if it weren’t for his friends from the neighboring kingdoms. He, Reginald, and Alexander had known each other their whole lives, their domains all clustered together that made visiting each other so easy. 

But every now and then, they needed to get away from the watchful eye of their parents and guards and the citizens and just be… them.

Lukas was lucky to know that he wasn’t alone in feeling this way, and that he could always turn to his friends.

“You goons better be hungry,” Lukas announced, tossing the bag of food their way.

Reggie dug into the snacks ravenously, “When aren’t we?”

Meanwhile, Alex was pacing, set on a nervous bender, “Aren’t you guys… I don’t know… kinda nervous?”

“Hey,” Lukas flicked a crumb at the other prince, hitting his calf mid-stride, “Thought we weren’t gonna talk about it today.”

“We’re all gonna be king soon, how can we not talk about it?”

The three of them sighed.

Alexander continued on the runway, “I mean, do you feel ready? I’m not ready,”

“Nope,” Reginald popped the ‘p’, frowning, “I hate being the oldest.”

“Why do we have to rule a country at 17? That’s stupid,” Lukas complained, searching through the bushes

“‘It’s tradition, Alexander. It’s what you must do. For the good of Grybria’,” Alexander impersonated, “Ugh. My brother just had to abdicate. Can’t I do that? Can I just abdicate?”

“Your dad would never let you,”

“Maybe if I told him I’m gay, he’d disown me?”

“Alexander,” Lukas warned.

“I was joking!” the blonde muttered, “...mostly.”

“Well what about me?” Reginald started, “I couldn’t take care of a bunny. How can I run a country?!”

Lukas felt around the ground until he hit leather and lugged out a guitar case he had stashed for safe keeping.

“Boys, let’s just… drop it today,” he deescalated. Funny, since he was up for coronation first, his rehearsal ceremony in a few hours, but he was determined to squeeze in some quality time with his friends before he couldn’t anymore, “Can we just chill? For a little while?” While they still could...

The other princes nodded.

“Okay. Now…” he took out his guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder, “Wanna jam?”

That brought a smile onto all of their faces.

They gathered in a circle, Lukas signaling at Alexander, who immediately began clapping a beat:

“1, 2, 3, 4-”

Tagging: @blush-and-books @lydias--stiles @echocharm17618 @rainfallingfromthesky @pink-flame @ourstarscollided @caffeine-catastrophe @nottheleastbrave @brightattheorpheum @thedeathdeelers @tmp-jatp   @lenacarstairspotterstewart @harpersdagger @annabelle-grisha-goddess @shelvesofgold @lwhoscribbles @futurearchaeologyprof @iridescentkippen @heademptynothoughts @crummycassidy @smolfangirl @a-dream-so-alive @that-one-utensil @lucid-h @homeinabookshelf @beaniesflannelandfannypacks @ilovefandoms @it-tastes-like-lizard

[downondilaudid]

Not Just a Genius

This is a third part to Anatomy Lesson, second part to Secret Sex Buddy.

Requested: Yes

Prompts: None

Word Count: 5.2K

Warnings: Smut of course

“Never hide things from hardcore thinkers. They get more aggravated, more provoked by confusion than the most painful truths.”

― Criss Jami

You walked into work, your steps slightly slower than usual. You and Spencer had, let's call it a late night. Spencer had spent the night but took his own car to work to not raise any suspicion. You had arrived first, actually early for once, you assumed Spencer had stopped to get coffee. He had woken you up early this morning, horny as hell, forcing you to give him a blowjob, after that neither of you could go to sleep. You pulled out your phone getting ready to send him a text. 

Y/N: You better be bringing me some coffee. 

You stuffed your phone into your back pocket. “Gasp, is the one and only Y/N Y/L walking like she had some hot sexy time last night?” A voice teased from behind you. 

You let out a mix between a laugh and a scoff, “really, Pen?” 

She giggled, “oh please, you don’t need to be a profiler to tell you had a good time. So, who is this sex genius, do we know him?”

That’s one way to put it, you thought to yourself. You set your stuff down at your desk, Penelope hovering over you like a bee. 

“Don’t worry about it, Pen. You don’t know him.” You answered.

“Know who?” Another voice chimed in. 

You turned, seeing Spencer walk over to your desk, a drink carrier filled with two coffees in his hand. Before you could answer, Garcia took the opportunity to poke more fun at you. 

“Y/N’s supposed sex genius she was with last night. No girl walks like that unless she’s had a wild night.”

“Garcia!” You groaned out, running your hands over your face. 

“Oh, please, it’s only Spencer!” She laughed, before patting you on the head and bouncing off to her computer room. 

Spencer watched Garcia walk away, before turning back to you, “sex genius, huh?” He questioned, a smirk on his face.

“Her words, not mine.” You teased, grabbing your coffee from the carrier, taking a sip of the warm liquid.

Spencer rested his hand on your desk, leaning over you slightly, “hmm, so you don’t think I’m a sex genius, sweetheart?” His voice was low and teasing, a beautiful sound to hear in the morning. 

“I-uh, Spencer we’re at work!” 

“Please, baby? I really need you.” Spencer whined.

You rolled your eyes, turning in your chair so you were facing him directly, “go take care of yourself in the bathroom.” 

Spencer leaned in closer, his plump lip catching on his teeth, “please, sweetheart. Just suck me off real quick, we can go down to the file room. Remember last time we were there?” He leaned in once more so his lips were next to your ear, his next words came out in a low whisper, “you had such a hard time keeping quiet for me.” He brought his hand up, running it over your bottom lip. “I need you, baby.” 

Ugh, he knew exactly what buttons to push, he knew exactly what to do to get you to break. Luckily, your brain overpowered your body, and you pushed him back lightly, “no, Spence. We’re at work, you can fuck me later. Garcia’s already suspicious, and JJ already knows.” 

Spencer groaned lightly, he knew you were right, he was just too horny to accept it. 

Turns out Spencer would have to wait a while, you had a case. A case that took place in Austin, Texas, three men had turned up dead, all with the same M.O.

You took a step back, a finger placed against your chin in concentration. You and JJ were putting together a victim board, and so far you could only tell that these three men were all very openly gay. 

“They were all taken from different gay bars, the only connection is that they’re gay.” You stated.

“We’ll see what Garcia can find about their lives. It’s not against their sexuality. All unnecessary  wounds were done post-mortem, they either didn’t want to hurt them or are trying to make some sort of statement.” Hotch deciphered. 

You nodded along. 

You were talking to one of the officers, who, unfortunately, was being extremely unprofessional. He was making sexual jokes left and right, alluding to how “good he’d bet you’d be in bed.” It was revolting, you didn’t even know this man. 

“You’re sure this is all the gay bars in the area?” You questioned, pointing to a list of bars he had handed you. 

“That I know of, babydoll. Granted, I’m not gay.” He stated, adding a wink to the end of his statement. 

You cringed, trying your best to keep up a professional act, “alright, thank you.” 

He smirked at you, nodding his head, “anytime, doll, and I do mean anytime.”

You turned away rolling your eyes as you brought the list to Hotch, this case better be over quickly, you thought. 

Apparently, luck was on your side, the case had ended quickly. Apparently, a man had been frequenting these bars, picking out the most flamboyant men, killing them for media attention to bring awareness of the struggles the LGBTQ+ community goes through. His brother had recently taken his own life, due to avid bullying from his peers because of his homosexuality. 

The case was overall disturbing, and you couldn’t wait to get to the hotel and take a nice warm bath. 

You were clad in a towel, waiting for the bath to fill up, when a knock sounded through the room. You let out a sigh, praying that this conversation wouldn’t take away your warm bath. 

You peeked through the peephole, you could only see a torso, clad in a blazer, button-down shirt, and a tie. You unlocked the door, pulling it open to peek your head out. 

“What do you want, Spence? It’s late” 

He placed his hand against the door, pushing it open and slipping in. His eyes were dark, and filled with desire. “I saw that officer flirting with you earlier.” 

You groaned, “everyone did. It was so obvious.” Your hand tightened the towel on your body, walking into the bathroom to turn off the running faucet. You leaned over the side of the tub, your towel riding up your thighs.

Spencer hummed in approval behind you, one of his hands brushing gently up your thigh. “Why didn’t you stop him if it was so obvious?”

“I was trying to be professional, Spencer. A lot of women get hit on, we just choose to brush it off.” You reasoned. A yelp escaped your mouth when a hand yanked on your hair, the towel falling from your body onto the side of the tub. Spencer pulled you up, his clothed hips rocking into your bare ass. 

“Spencer” you sighed breathily, squirming lightly in his grip. 

He ignored you, his hands grabbing your elbows to pull you harder against him as he ground into you. “You know you’re mine, right?”

You nodded meekly, pressing your ass back against his crotch. “Please, just do something, Spence.” 

“I want to hear you say it, say you’re mine.” He whispered. Despite the two of you being unofficial, you were unofficially official. This was his way of letting you know, communicating through rough kisses and late nights, that the two of you were indeed exclusive. 

“I’m yours” you muttered, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt him pepper kisses over your neck, working his way down to your shoulder blades. 

“Bend over the tub.” He commanded, grabbing your hair and pushing your head forward, you stumbled to your knees, crying out at the pain. His hand released your hair, digging into your hips, he shoved you forward so the front of your thighs hit the tub. 

You yelped once more, shooting your hand out into the warm water to keep yourself from falling headfirst into the bath. “Spencer, fuck” you groaned out.

He chuckled behind you, before landing a sharp slap to your ass. Your body jolted forward at the impact, a low moan falling from your lips. Spencer laughed, a genuine laugh, “you like that, baby? You like it when I mark your pretty little ass?” His hand came crashing down again, this time harder. 

You choked on a moan, your ribs digging painfully into the side of the tub. His hand rubbed the soft flesh of your ass, trailing down the back of your thighs and back up. 

A gasp left your lips as his hand dipped into your folds, sliding up and down slowly. “You’re so wet for me… how pathetic.” 

You whimpered lightly, trying to push yourself back onto his hand. You felt so amazingly filthy at that moment, his words should’ve hurt, they should’ve humiliated you, but instead, they only made you wetter. His hand retreated, “oh, no, no, sweet girl. You’ll get what I want when I want.” Spencer chided.

He loved seeing you like this, he loved making you like this, so desperate to be fucked. It made sense when you really thought about it, he was quite submissive in his workplace and dominating you gave him that authority that he craved.

His large hand crashed down onto your backside, and you yelped at the stinging, “shit!” One of your arms reached out of the water, grabbing onto the other side of the tub. You jolted forward as Spencer continued his assault on your backside, alternating between cheeks. 

Mewls and moans escaped your mouth, you tried your hardest to keep them in, praying you wouldn’t alert the team. The worst thing that could happen is someone coming to check on you and finding you naked, bent over the side of the tub, with Spencer at your backside.

“You look so pretty with my handprints all over your ass.” He muttered, his hands running over the soft flesh, kneading it ever so often. 

You hummed lightly at his words, subconsciously pushing back into his grip. A low chuckle left his mouth, you felt him lean over your back, his hard-on pressing up against your ass. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck, and his hand ran up your back to tug on your hair. Your arm bracing itself against the tub fell back into the water as your head was jerked back. “Are you ready for me to fuck you?” 

“Yes, yes, daddy.” It took every ounce of strength you had to resist pushing back against him. “Please, please-” you were cut off by a shriek as Spencer's hand smacked your ass once again. 

“I don’t think you are.” He teased, his fingers trailing up and down the burning flesh of your ass.

A moan left your mouth, not able to hold back, you pushed back against him, begging for friction. Spencer’s hand yanked so hard on your hair you were pulled from the tub, and onto your sore knees. Spencer’s breath was heavy against your ear as he whispered, “I’m starting to think you’re deaf with how much you’re disobeying.”

You whimpered lightly, “sorry, I’m sorry.” Despite your words, you rolled your hips, grinding your sore ass into his pelvis. 

Spencer growled at the friction, sighing angrily through his nose, “fine,” his hand released your hair, roughly grabbing your arms, he pinned them together behind your back with one hand. “You want to cum so bad? You’re going to cum.” 

Two of his fingers filled your pussy quickly, rubbing against your walls. “Fuck!” You cried, your head dropping forward with a strangled moan. Spencer’s hand holding your arms shoved forward, digging your ribs into the side of the tub.

“You’re going to cum on my fingers, again, and again, until I decide I want to fuck you.” He spat, his fingers curling as his hand picked up speed. 

Your back arched as your orgasm neared. Moans and mantras of Spencer’s name tumbling from your lips. “Spencer, Spencer-fuck, daddy.” 

He chuckled in your ear, his fingers working impossibly faster, “cum, cum on my finger.” 

A flash of white filled your vision, your eyes squeezed shut. Shivers ran up your spine, and your head tilted back with a moan. Spencer’s fingers didn’t stop their relentless pace, working you through your orgasm. 

“Hmm… again.” Spencer commanded, stopping momentarily to add a third finger. You groaned, leaning forward to try and escape the overstimulation. But, Spencer’s grip on your arms tightened, pulling your back onto his fingers. “Shit!” You yelled, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. The obscene sounds of his fingers working in and out of your went cunt filled the room. 

“Are you going to cum? You going to cum all over my fingers?” Spencer questioned, as his fingers brushed against your g-spot. 

Your thighs shook around his hand, groaning as your second orgasm coursed through your body. “Fuck-daddy, yes!” A sob tore through your mouth, your vocal cords strained and raw, all thoughts of the team completely disregarded. 

“Good girl” Spencer praised, his fingers slowing as you came down from your high. 

You panted, your shoulders aching from the grip Spencer had on your arms. “Please, please fuck me.” 

“With my fingers? Since you asked so nicely.” Spencer teased, a fourth finger prodding at your entrance. 

“No! No, no, your cock!” You cried, genuine tears flowing down your face. 

“That’s not what you said,” he whispered, as he pushed his fourth finger into you, stretching your walls. 

You screamed, thrashing in his grasp, “Spencer, fuck-fuck.” You were delirious, mind completely clouded with a suffocating lust. It was like you and Spencer were the only two humans on planet earth, the only beings that mattered. 

“One more and I’ll give you my cock” Spencer groaned out in your ear, his own primal lust beginning to take over. 

Broken cries of his name were the only words you managed to say as your third orgasm consumed you, the pressure building in your stomach finally being released. 

“There you go” Spencer praised, pulling his hand from your cunt, as your juices ran down your thighs. 

“Spence-I can’t” you whimpered out, your thighs still shaking from your orgasms. 

Shuffling could be heard from behind you, followed by clothes rustling and the distinct sound of a zipper. “I didn’t ask if you could, you’re going to, baby.” 

He released his hold on your arms, and your body fell forward once more, arms just barely catching yourself from plummeting headfirst into the tub. The head of his cock brushed against your sensitive cunt, and Spencer’s hands grabbed onto your hips, sharply tugging you back onto him. 

You let out a loud scream, the pain and pleasure blending together to form a sweet bliss. “Fuck” you moaned, his hands helping to guide your hips back to his. 

“Fuck, that's it, Y/N” Spencer moaned, adjusting his grip on your hips, the sheen layer of sweat on your bodies causing them to slip. 

Spencer’s hips slammed into your bruised ass, the sound of his skin colliding with yours echoing throughout the bathroom. Your knees were definitely going to be a pretty shade of pink tomorrow. 

Then, strangely, all of the sensations were gone, Spencer had scooted away from you, leaving you empty and used. “Spence what the fu-ah!” 

As you were about to question him, his hands dug into your hips again, yanking you away from the tub. Your arms slipped from the tub, falling to the floor. Before you could get out another word, Spencer’s hand was on the back of your head, gripping your hair. He pushed your head down, causing your arms to collapse, leaving your ass in the air, and the side of your face squished against the cool tile. 

A sob tore through your chest as you felt him fill you once more, and your nails scratched against the tile, searching for something to hold onto. Spencer growled into your ear, lust possessing his body as he pounded into you viciously. You had no clue how you were going to be able to walk tomorrow without arousing suspicion. 

                                                            … 

When you thought of the jet, you thought of peace, it was the calm after the storm. After seeing the horrors of your job, it was pure tranquility to gaze out the window at the blue sky and feel the slight bumps as you ascended through the clouds. 

“You okay, Y/L?” Derek asked from beside you. 

“Hmm?” You said, his deep voice pulling you from your pensive state.

His brows furrowed at you, his head tilting slightly. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I was just looking at the clouds.” 

Derek nodded, starting to pull the headphones hanging around his neck back up to his ears. 

“Did you guys hear that couple last night?” Emily chimed in.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and it took all of your willpower to not shoot a glare at Spencer, but you knew that would only arouse suspicion. 

“Yeah, they were… loud.” JJ said, and you could feel her blue orbs bearing into you. Shit

“Someone was getting some.” Derek chuckled. 

Emily and JJ laughed along, and you took this as your opportunity to gaze up at Spencer, seeing his nose stuffed in a book, eyes speedily scanning the pages. The title definitely wasn’t written in English. 

Spencer’s eyes flickered up to meet yours, one of his eyebrows quirked in a questioning manner. You quickly looked at your lap, like a schoolgirl who had been caught staring at her crush.

“Speaking of, Penelope told me you’ve found some sort of sex genius, Y/N” Emily teased, leaning forward slightly. 

“Ooooh, now I’m listening,” Derek said, turning his attention to you. 

Your eyes darted to JJ, a nervous smile on your face, “he’s not a sex genius, he’s just a guy I met.”

“Oh, so there definitely is someone,” Derek concluded with a laugh. 

You groaned, “I’m going to kill Penelope.”

They chuckled at your statement before Emily spoke up “he must be good if he’s hindering your ability to walk into work.”  

A blush crept onto your face as the three of them erupted into a fit of laughter, you hid your face in your hands, sighing in annoyance. If only they knew said “sex genius” was sitting five feet away from them. 

“Leave Y/N alone.” A gruff voice spoke, a small smile on Hotch’s face as he walked by.

“Thank you!” You screeched, your hand gesturing to him. 

“Did Hotch just smile?” JJ asked, a giggle in her voice.

                                                             … 

You dragged your sore body into your apartment, lazily tossing your keys onto the kitchen counter. The case wasn’t horribly rough, as mild as murder can get. But, Spencer was definitely rough, not that you disliked it. 

You stripped off your blouse, throwing it in the laundry bin, working on your pants next, which you had worn due to your bruised knees. Right as you were about to unclip your bra, a knock sounded from the front door. 

A groan could be heard throughout the room as you trudged to the door, eye peeking into the peephole. Another groan escaped your mouth at the sight of Spencer, you begrudgingly unlocked the door, pulling it open.

“Spencer, what the hell? I’m still sore, and tired.” You complained, turning on your heel to walk back inside. 

Spencer followed, his eyes trailing you like a predator to prey, he leaned leisurely against the counter, his arms crossed. “I never really punished you for letting that officer flirt with you.” He voiced aloud. 

You rolled your eyes, turning to face him, your hands planted sassily on your hips, “seriously you wouldn’t call dicking me down with my face against the floor a punishment?” 

Spencer laughed, a smirk dawning his face, “hardly” his head tilted slightly watching as you shifted your weight in discomfort. 

You weren’t uncomfortable with him, per se, but rather, how vulnerable you felt. You stood, clad in a lacey bra and panties, and he stood, fully clothed, just watching you.  

“C’ mere,” he said, gesturing with his hand. You complied, walking towards him with an awkward shyness. His hand brushed some stray hair from your face, tucking it securely behind your ear. “You’re such a pretty girl, you know that?” 

A shiver washed through your body at his touch, his fingertips trailing lightly down the side of your face, and to your shoulder, playing with the strap of your bra. “Y/N” he started, his hand grazing between the valley of your breasts. “You know that right?” He questioned, his tone more assertive than before. 

You bit down on your lip lightly, nodding your head. His hand trailed back up your chest, curling under the strap of your bra, and in one sharp tug, he had pulled you to his chest, growling lowly in your ear. “Then you understand why I’m not fond of you allowing men to flirt with you, thinking they have a chance with you?” 

Each sharp breath you took pushed your chest even further into his, eyes bearing up at him. He released your bra strap, resting his hands on your shoulders and pushing you away from him. “Then, make it up to me.”

You grabbed onto his arm, steadying yourself as you dropped to your knees. You reached out, beginning to unbuckle his belt, before his hand grabbed yours, halting your movement. “Ah, ah, bra off first.” He teased, his own hands finishing unbuckling his belt. His lust-filled eyes watched as you reached behind your back, unclasping your bra, and sliding it off your shoulders. 

He hummed in approval, and his hand reached into his slacks, pushing them down slightly as he pulled out his hard cock. His head fell back with a groan as you quickly wrapped your lips around the head, your pointer finger running up the vein on the underside. 

He let you tease, surprisingly, and his hand laced in your hair, pulling some of it out of your face. “Fuck” he muttered breathlessly. 

You moaned lightly around him, taking more of him into your mouth, hand wrapping around what you couldn’t fit. Spencer groaned, his brows knitting together, as his hand applied pressure to the back of your head, forcing you down on him. 

You let your hand fall from his length, placing it at the back of his thigh to brace yourself. You breathed steadily through your nose, suppressing your gag reflex as you took him deeper. His hand stopped, grabbing a fist full of your hair, and pulling your head back. 

“That’s it, baby, show me how sorry you are.” His words seemed to ignite something in you, the grip on his thigh tightened, and you bobbed your head along his length. Spencer moaned at the feeling of your lips around him, yanking back on your hair, causing you to gag slightly. “Good girl” he praised, and a muffled whimper escaped your mouth. 

You pulled back, slower this time, letting your tongue run along his cock. “Hmm… you want me to cum in your mouth or your cunt?” Spencer asked, pulling your head off his cock, saliva dribbling down from the corners of your mouth.

“Cum in my pussy, please?” You begged, both of your hands pressed against his thighs, begging at his feet like a puppy. 

Spencer smiled down at you, one of his hands stroking your face affectionately. “Okay, sweetheart.” His hands grabbed yours, helping you to your feet. Once you were upright, one of his strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him for a soft kiss. You hummed lightly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “Bedroom, I want you to ride me.”

You grinned at him, giddily grabbing his hand and pulling him down the hall. 

He stepped in first, pushing off his blazer, his hands beginning to unbutton his dress shirt, “you going to help me?”

“Of course, daddy” you replied, stepping forward to work on his pants while he took off his shirt. 

A dreamy sigh left your throat as you watched Spencer clamber onto the bed, turning to prop himself up against the pillows. Quickly, you shed your panties, not bothering to look at the obvious wet patch. “Ride daddy,” Spencer said, his hands folded behind his head. 

You crawled onto the bed, stopping next to Spencer, about to throw a leg over him, when his hand grabbed your hip, stopping you. Your brows knitted in confusion, “Spene-” 

“Wrong way, sweet girl.” Spencer smirked at you.

Your jaw dropped, “Spencer, please, I want to see you” you groaned out.

He chuckled at your whining, his hand pointing forward as he spoke, “you will, baby. And I get to see your pretty little ass.” Your gaze followed his hand, jaw dropping even further when you saw what he was pointing to. Your vanity mirror. 

“Okay” you replied meekly, turning your body towards the mirror and crawling over his lap. His hands met your hips, helping you onto him. 

One of Spencer’s hands left your hip, using it to guide his cock up and down your cunt. “Fuck” you moaned, your hands digging into the soft flesh of Spencer’s bare thighs. “Please, daddy, ple-fuck!” You cried as his cock slipped into you. You ground your hips down onto him, moaning as your walls dragged along his length. 

“Such a good girl” Spencer growled, one hand on your hip, and the other coming down to smack your ass. You shrieked, your hips working faster, your gaze fell onto the mirror, watching as your tits bounced and Spencer’s cock disappeared inside you. You moaned at the sinful sight, you didn’t think watching yourself fuck could be so erotic, but guess you were wrong. 

“You love this don’t you, baby? Such a slut for me, love watching you ride me.” Spencer muttered, the exhaustive lust beginning to overpower your tired bodies. 

You could feel the tension coiling in your stomach as you weakly nodded at Spencer’s words. “Can I cum? I wanna cum for you.” You groaned out, one of your hands leaving his thigh to rub small circles against your clit. 

His hand grabbed your hair, yanking your head back as he growled out “you’re mine. Say it, tell me who you belong to!” 

You cried out, your hips beginning to falter as Spencer rolled his hips up into you. Your eyes crossed, a weak moan falling from your lips. “You, you-I’m yours” 

Spencer grunted harshly, giving another sharp tug to your scalp, “watch yourself, see how pretty you look when you cum around my cock.” 

A squeal left your body as your orgasm hit you like a train. His hand released your hair, causing you to fall forward, arms planted firmly against the comforter as your body tensed. You watched in the mirror, as moans spilled from you, and Spencer grunted behind you, his own orgasm washing over him. Your mouth was open in a silent scream, and your thighs shook around Spencer’s. His hands shot to your hips, digging into your skin, his nails leaving crescents and red streaks as he readjusted his grip, pulling you down onto him one last time.

                                                           …

You basked in the feeling of Spencer’s warm body against yours, head laying against his chest, listening to his heart beat. 

Spencer’s hand ran soothingly through your hair, “I love you” his raw husky voice broke the silence.

You giggled like a schoolgirl, tilting your head to look up at him, “I love you more.” 

“Actually, statistically men tend to say ‘I love you first,’ which I did not. Women do tend to say ‘I love you’ around ten times more than men. Men and women express their feelings of love and affection in different ways. Men are usually-” 

His rant was silenced by your lips melting into his, upturned in a smile. You pulled back, a smile still on your face, “we have all day to ourselves tomorrow, go to sleep.” 

Spencer chuckled, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer into him. His lips placed a kiss to the top of your head, the two of you drifting off to sleep in each other's embrace. 

The unfortunate ringing of your cell phones brought you out of your slumber. You rolled over groggily, grabbing your phone. Pulling it away from your face, you let your eyes adjust to the light. You were met with the sight of two neglected notifications. 

Hotch: We have a case, meet at 9.

At least it was an hour later than usual.

One missed call: Aaron Hotchner. 

Fuck. Your eyes darted to the time at the top of your phone, your stomach doing backflips as your read, 9:12.

You scrambled from the bed, whacking Spencer awake in the process. “Jesus, Y/N” he groaned, sleepily running a hand over his face. 

“Get up” you said, grabbing his clothes from the floor and chunking them at him, “we have a case, we’re late.” 

He was out of bed so quick on any other day you would've thought he had watched a dead body be resurrected. “I can’t wear these clothes, I wore them yesterday!”

“There’s no time to stop, we’re already ten minutes late!” You groaned, throwing on a t-shirt, hoping you could dress up the look with a blazer.

“Dammit” he cursed, following your lead. 

Spencer walked through the glass doors, you hobbling behind him, still sore from yesterday. At the sight of the two of you, all jaws dropped to the floor. 

“No. Way.” Emily enunciated, her head shaking in disbelief. 

Derek laughed loudly, “you’ve been holding out on us, pretty boy.” He said between breaths.

“W-what? No-I don’t-we didn’t” The two of you began to defend yourselves, talking over each other, a stupid move in a room full of profilers. 

“Y/L your shirts on inside-out, and I’m pretty sure that’s the blazer Spencer wore yesterday.” Derek pointed out, now catching his breath. 

You looked down and sure enough, he was right, your shirt was on inside-out, and you had unknowingly grabbed Spencer’s blazer from the floor. No wonder it was so big. 

“So Spencer’s not just a genius, but a sex genius!” Garcia squealed, an enthusiastic smile curling her purple painted lips. 

Spencer flushed at the comment, his hands digging into his pockets. “Dear God” you mumbled, burying your face in your hands. 

You all shuffled into the briefing room, taking your seats. “And cue the never ending teasing.” You groaned. 

“Did they finally figure it out? You two need to stop sneaking around like teenagers.” JJ chimed in, walking into the room, handing files out to everyone. 

“What, you knew?” Emily gasped, looking at JJ bewildered. 

“You guys told JJ?” Derek accused. 

“Oh, no one told JJ, JJ found out herself when the two decided to get frisky at the club!” JJ laughed, joining in on the torment. 

“Ah, ah, ah! Stop it, stop!” You cried, not being able to stop the smile that broke out onto your red face. 

“Leave the teenagers alone, we have a case.” Hotch said, making his appearance in the room. 

“Seriously, you too?” 

“At least we don’t have to sneak around anymore.” Spencer pointed out meekly, peeking up at you, his red face matching yours. 

You giggled at the revelation, things would definitely be different now, and maybe for the better.