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staycult · 4 years

Text

highschool!minho as your boyfriend

pairing — fem!reader x minho

genre — fluffish angst-ish ? bullet scenario but mostly not, enemies to lovers

word count — 2k

happy birthday to our precious cat boy! 🐈

happy birthday lino!

you’re one of the best dancers in your school

competitions arent complete without you

i guess the popularity with dancing got over your head a little bit

to you, you were just proud

but others took it the wrong way, as per usual

“alright we’re going to have a new member in our crew, please give him a warm welcome!” your dance instructor clapped

you wiped off your sweat and sat down on the floor to listen further

“come in, lino!” she urged

the young man came in wearing gray sweats and a plain black shirt with a poker face on

you didnt really care nor felt a bond forming between you two

“hi, lee minho, nice to meet you” he smiled half heartedly

you heard the other girls in the room swoon at the sight of him

you were about to nudge your friend who was obviously squealing when the instructor interrupted

“[y/n]! stand over here, please” she pointed beside minho

so you complied

his scent was manly with a hint of softness

he was taller than you and had a lean body structure

your instructor was eyeing the both of you from head to toe and proceeded to call over another instructor

“see, they would be perfect for it!” she whisper shouted at her fellow instructor, still eyeing the both of us

“i do agree with you but dont you think minho is still new? he just came in” the other replied

“minho if you don’t mind? can i show him your audition video?” she asked

minho gave her a nod while he looked around the place with his arms crossed, while you looked like an idiot just standing there like 🧍🏻‍♀️

“wow! his body is flexible, you made the right choice with these two" the male instructor commended

“right?"

"alright, you two would be assigned to create a new choreography for the up coming dance competition. it should be hip hop styled, music of choice is yours." she instructed

your fellow dancers already went home since it was getting late, so you did too after the discussion

you didnt really talk to minho

you felt like you didnt need to, yet

unless it was about the dance

practices were always held after classes. you and the crew decided to brainstorm possible songs that you guys could dance to. all of the songs they were suggesting was boring and at this point you were frustrated and threw a fit. "god, think!" you sighed at your fellow dancers as you ruffled your hair in anger. "do you have any better ideas?" minho asked, nonchalant. "i evaluate whether or not the songs can be used. do you have any ideas?" you rolled your eyes, copying his tone.

he shook head and let out a light smirk, a rather amused one. he suggested songs and remixes that were actually good, but you can never say that. for the first time, someone actually had the courage to speak back to you during your angry state. it did hurt your ego a bit.

"no, i dont want that, it's ear-bleeding" you lied, just for the sake of your reputation in front of your fellow members. "im not asking for your permission, im showing this to noona," he said getting up from the floor with the computer and walked out to find our older instructor.

whispers and held back laughter was heard in the room while their eyes are focused to either you, or minho's back who just disappeared

being a little brat, you stomped over to minho ( who you found in the hallway, just outside your instructor's office ) "you!" you stormed over until youre close enough. without looking, he let out a sigh, "what?"

"what the hell was that about!" you half-shouted, eyebrows furrowed. "what? did i hurt your ego?" he raised an eyebrow, giving you a smirk. you were taken aback by his choice of words. no body has ever came this close to you. all he did was say the truth, because he really did hurt your ego. you hate being told what to do and you hate getting embarrassed in front of people.

your face turned red, "you know what? fuck you" you turned around and left. leaving him with this annoying smug look on his pretty face.

it became a routine

to argue with him during practice

you guys were partners in the said dance

being close with his body gives you the chance to take revenge

by making yourself heavy every time he has to carry you

but you learned that he's not the one to hold back

by letting go of you, causing you to fall off ass first

after a month straight of practice, it went like that

safe to say you hated each other's guts

he hated your bratty and egotistic attitude, and you hated him for pointing it out in front of every one

there's 3 more days until the performance

and somehow, nervousness was getting ahead of you.

"one last practice for today! let me see what you guys got." your instructor said as you guys were positioning yourselves in place. during the dance, you knew you made so many mistakes but you were still hoping it would go unnoticed. making the ending pose, every one clapped as well as the instructor.

"over all, it's a winning dance for me!" every one cheered for the mentor's compliment while you were feeling unsteady. "[y/n], work on the dance a little more okay? you seem a bit on edge" she gave you a small smile. embarrassment was written all over your face. improve? me? christ! it's much worse when minho, who is right beside you, heard that.

the instructor left and every one proceeded to pack their things. as you were about to close yours, "work on the dance a little more okay?" little shit minho repeated your instructors words, with a smug look on his face that you badly want to wipe off with a punch

"okay" you replied dryly, not wanting to engage with crap because of your rising nervousness. "looks like im about to take your place, brat" he added. you knew he was just messing around since both of you had been fighting like this almost every day. you gave him a nod because you just wanted to escape at this point. you placed your bag over your shoulder and opened the door, "don't you think maybe it's because you're not that good-"

"can we not do this right now? alright? i get it. if you really are so fucking great, congrats! now leave me alone." you spat, walking past him and left the studio. the sun was setting when you got out and it was a rather chill weather. it was fine, we're in the middle of october any way.

you sighed as you hugged yourself for comfort due to the strong wind. walking home, you decided to stop by a vending machine.

great! your money just had to be stuck in the vent. just when you thought your day could get worse, this happens. you placed your head on the glass of the machine in front of you while mindlessly playing with the buttons.

you regret losing your cool in front of minho like that, because you know he was just messing around. at some point during practice, you were slowly learning that being a brat is horrible and not everything will go my way.

you noticed that you were starting to change too.

you let out another sigh and kicked a foreign rock to express your frustration. you eyes went back to the stuck money and tried to get it out again. a random finger from behind pressed a red button on top of the machine, which immediately retrieved your money.

you turned back around to thank the person, "thank you-" your smile faded when you realized who it was. he had a small cat eye smile on, "hi" he said in a low tone, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"hi" you said rather awkwardly. "what drink do you want?" he said as he brought out his wallet, positioning himself in front of the machine. "no you don't have to" you protested. "please, let me do this, it's the least i can do for pissing you off"

"banana milk, and im sorry too" you replied, playing with your fingers. he gave you this 'why are you saying sorry' look. "im sorry for all the mean stuff i said back there, i dont know what has gotten into me, im just so nervous about the performance"

he nodded, implying that he's listening while typing and inserting the money on the machine. "im just sorry for being a brat in general," you smiled apologetically as you accepted the banana milk from him. both of you sat down beside the vending machine.

"you dont have to apologize you know? im the one who took it too far" he said, guilt plastered all over his face. "it's fine, i deserve it. besides if it wasnt for you, i wouldnt have notice how much of a bitch i am." you admitted with a light chuckle.

"i didnt mean what i said earlier by the way," he spoke, finishing up his own banana milk. "which one?" you asked. "when i said you were not that good, i didnt mean it. in fact, youre one of the best." he admitted, placing his empty banana milk beside him.

"you think so?" you asked with a smile. "i know so" he smiled back, removing his hairband and placing it back again. "maybe that's why im falling for you." he mumbled.

competition day came

you were feeling energetic today

bratiness level lowered down by 70%

the performance went really great

every one at your school was rooting for your team

which made you even more giddy

"and the grand champion for this year is..."

you heard your school's name and immediately hugged minho unintentionally out of joy

your legs were wrapped up in his waist and he was swinging you around, happy to win as well.

he let go of you gently, trying not to make things awkward

youve already touched his body due to the dance steps but it felt awkward after he confessed

after the celebration, your crew was in the back stage, preparing for the surprise

today is october 25, meaning it's his special day

you got out the cake you personally baked for him and motioned everyone to gather around before minho comes in

"surprise!" every one cheered and threw random pieces of paper towards him when he came in the back stage

"happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday dear minho, happy birthday to you" you sang along with the crew and faced him his cake

"make a wish, lino" you said as you waited for him to blow.

"i wish to be with you" he said out loud, not even minding the people around us and blew the candle out. a lot of ooos and cheers were heard, making you blush. you gathered frosting all over your finger and proceeded to wipe it on his face

he let out a fake shocked face as he did the same to you. by now, every one around you has frosting in your faces. musting up all the courage left in you. you made your way to minho once more and placed a frosting on his lips. he smirked at your sudden action as he lifted you up.

you pressed your lips against his, licking the frosting clean off of him. he gladly accepted the kiss, ignoring everyone around the both of you. pulling away, "maybe i am falling for you too, lino" you confessed. making him kiss you once more.

bf minho is very tsundere

as usual, dance practices together

vending machine dates after practice

lots and lots of i love yous while dancing

SLOW DANCING IN YOUR ROOM!!!!!!

would let you meet his cats bcs "you are now worthy"

helping each other out with missed assignments

your best friend

kisses are wild but soft

dance covers together

will literally break the vending machine to give you your banana milk

would buy you breakfast

holds your hand during break

cuddling with his cats!!!!!!

forehead kisses with reassurance

people dont get your inside jokes

a tease !!!!!

"baby, there is no one else like you"

author's note —

i tried to make this gender neutral but i dont know much about mxm dancing together! sorry about that, i tried to lessen the female details though.

im open for constructive criticism! i made this a birthday special for our lee know <3

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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si-nging-ren · 4 years

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*CRACKS KNUCKLES*

okay. ive decided im going to discontinue the jirou x reader fanfic "wrong number, my bad" for a number of reasons that i will get into in a bit. i have also, however, decided to create an smau for hawks (probably not, but who ive decided on for now) x reader, based on something more personal about me. the goal of the story being more personal is to give me a better layout for how it should continue on and the feelings can be more genuine than me making up stories on a whim and hoping they work. i will give out the plan for wnmb, however, so that anybody interested can still understand how the story wouldve ended.

now as for why im abandoning wnmb.

1. i dont feel the energy to write it anymore. i dont like where the story is going, and with my current mental state and status at school, i dont have the ability to start over or try again. i font have the ideas for the story and just dont vibe with it.

2. mental reasons. i can't stick to the schedule i made for the story as well as i used to be able to, and also personal mental health reasons that sort of keep me from doing so.

3. there are personal life reasons that cause this, but jirou has slowly evolved into somewhat of a discomfort character. i dont want to get into the reasons as to why, but i dont like her that much and bad memories come up whenever i try to sit with her in my head for too long.

thats really all for why i dont want to continue wnmb, but for anybody interested, here was the plan as to how the story was planned out (via notes):

- [x] yn and mina and ochaco do be talking doe

- [x] basically introductions

- [x] same with jirou baku toko yaomomo and denks

- [x] but THEN

- [x] yn and jirou talk :DDD

- [x] jirou basically says that theyre not annoying

- [x] yn says their typical clown shit

- [x] "aidjskjdh thanks you daddy 🥺"

- [x] jirou doesnt answer for a wholeass hour

- [x] "sorry had to go to church and clense from that sin"

- [x] "o-oh okay 😔 daddy doesnt love me"

- [x] "there are so many things wrong with that"

- [x] "😳😳😳"

- [x] "im starting to wish that i blocked you"

- [x] "nONONONONO IM SORRY"

- [x] "nyways what did you wanna talk about d-"

- [x] "......."

- [x] "arling :)))"

- [x] poor jirou just wanted to know about who they are

- [x] "name, hobby, talent, interests, whatever i just wanna know about you"

- [x] yn hops over to twitter all "omg theyre so sweet 🥺🥺🥺"

- [x] naturally ochaco and mina are all "fake bestie wtf are u talking about"

- [x] yn is laughing awkwardly and is just,,, "oh nothing 😳😳"

- [x] (nobody believes them)

- [x] then they ask about jirou but she has to give false info

- [x] except for her gender its fine if she says that

- [x] she hops over to the squad

- [x] panicking

- [x] "guys wtf i think i just committed a crime"

- [x] "nono youre fine what happened"

- [x] "i made a fake identity so the person who contacted me wouldnt know it was me"

- [x] "do they even know you???"

- [x] "YES they said they really liked our music and im PANICKING"

- [x] "okok calm down its not illegal or anything"

- [x] "i think"

- [x] "YOU T H I N K ? "

- [x] "yeah sorry :// but like you did this to yourself lmaooo"

- [x] jirou awkwardly hops back to yn

- [x] "yeah i think that band is pretty cool too im actually friends with some of them"

- [x] i mean its not false

- [x] ":ooo omg rlly?????? theyre so cool aaa 🥺🥺 maybe we can meet one day at one of their concerts 👉👈 jkjk...... unless 😳"

- [x] little did they know

- [x] LMAOO jk

- [x] kinda

- [ ] they end up talking for hoursss and mina and ochaco ask one day if they wanna hang out

- [ ] theyre all "hell yesss 🥴 where we goin??"

- [ ] a bar. they go to a fucking bar. (btw its to celebrate minas new job thingyyy)

- [ ] drink responsible kiddosss

- [ ] nyways afterwards she ends up talking to jirou bout how shes super nice and would love to be friends with her more

- [ ] jirou has gay panic tm

- [ ] like actually theyre rlly cute fuck

- [ ] yn asks if they can call since theyve never heard her voice or seen her

- [ ] jirous all ".....theyre drunk they wont recognize my voice"

- [ ] also shes rlly groggy since its TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING

- [ ] jirou calls her and yn asks if she wants to meet someday bby doesnt understand okay

- [ ] jirou panics and asks if they can get to know each other more first

- [ ] yn is hurt but understands and agrees

- [ ] yn asks to play 20 questions

- [ ] jirou asks if theyre a preteen jokingly

- [ ] yn whines and says its either that or a drinking game

- [ ] not wanting yn to drink anymore, she sighs and agrees

- [ ] she ends up finding out:

1. yn has a cat

3. thats it, yn passed out

- [ ] jirou fell asleep on call later nd they didnt hang up until jirou woke up later and realized that awake yn would recognize her

- [ ] she quickly hung up and then sent them a good morning text

- [ ] bitches be playin

- [ ] but yn doesnt mind theyre a gay, dumb clown

- [ ] yn asks what minas job was since they never found out- god their dumb

- [ ] mina says its the typical teaching thing but its for ome of yns favorite bands

- [ ] "ooh, who are they?"

- [ ] "they said their name was blackbear! pretty sure youve talked about them some times before"

- [ ] "omygod mina you dont understnad if you could somehow find a way for me to find them i would literally marry u"

- [ ] "please dont. but ill try boo dw"

- [ ] she ends up doing it

- [ ] but inbetween then they end up getting rlly close like numerous calls and texts and learning more about each other until they realize they like her

- [ ] yn is super happy all "bro u guys are so awesome"

- [ ] bby girl is vibrating.

- [ ] LMAOO YOU WANNA KNOW JOWNTHEY FIND OUT

- [ ] THEY AND JIROU END UP BECOMING RLLY CLOSE LIKE THEY FRIENDSSSS

- [ ] AND SHE ASKS FOR THEIR NUMBER

- [ ] THEIR STILL JITTERY BTW SO THEYRE LIKE WOAH RLLY???? ID LOVE TO BRO

- [ ] AND JIROU PUTS HER NUMBER IN YNS PHONE AND SEES THE NAME "nd strikes" COME UP ND SHES LIKE "HUH MUST BE A GLITCH"

- [ ] BUT YNS ALL

- [ ] "HAHA SOMEONE NAMED "BBY" CAME UP WHEN I TYPED IN MY NUMBER I WONDER WHO THAT IS"

- [ ] "MAYBE I TYPED IT WRONG" CAUSE BBY IS DUMB

- [ ] MEANWHILE JIROU IS PANICKED CAUSE "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE BBY"

- [ ] SO SHE HANDS THEM THIER PHONE BACK AWKWARDLY AND YN SEES THEIR OLD MESSAGES AND PANICKS

- [ ] "HOLD UP IS STARS JIROU????? HAHHA NO IM BLIND AN D DUMB SURELY NOT"

- [ ] SO THEYRE LIKE "DID U EVER TELL ANYONE UR NAME IS STARS"

- [ ] AND JIROU JUST SIGHS AND IS CLEARLY IN PAIN AND IS JUST "YEAH THATS ME"

- [ ] ALL YN DOES IS LAUGH AND GO "YO THATS KINDA GAY"

- [ ] JIROU IS PAINED

- [ ] LIKE SHE THINKS THEIR GONNA HATE HER BUT????? NO??????????? SHES CONFUSED LMAOO

- [ ] yn blinks and realizes she should probably confess or smth

- [ ] "uhm, jirou?"

- [ ] "yeah whats up?"

- [ ] "aCTUALLY NVM ILL TELL YOU LATER-"

- [ ] later in a call they say it

- [ ] jirou is rlly smart and all but her first thought was "its cause of who i am. this happened immediately after."

- [ ] some part of her is screaming that its feelings and that she likes them back but she ignores it.

- [ ] like this has to be bad right???

- [ ] nyways jirou ghosts her like a clown and rants to the band b-wordssss gc

- [ ] yn cries to the babiest of the babies 🥺🥺🥺 gc

- [ ] yn asks if she just doesnt care about them now that shes seen them

- [ ] jirou realizes "wait fuck maybe im wrong"

- [ ] spoiler alert: she is

- [ ] she sort of goes "i didnt rlly think that you actually liked me actually

- [ ] yn starts crying

- [ ] (this is over call btw)

- [ ] "why tf wouldnt i?!"

- [ ] "bc you confessed right after you knew who i was"

- [ ] "istfg so our conversations just dont matter ig"

- [ ] jirou is confused

- [ ] like??? she gets that theyre mad but she does understand why so much

- [ ] "listen i just need to know if you like me back or not please. before i start crying again."

- [ ] she decided to not comment on how they were already crying

- [ ] "yes i like you okay"

- [ ] "do you actually?"

- [ ] "yes. istag that i actually like you and im not shitting u. if you want ill go there rn"

- [ ] ".....yes pls"

- [ ] "i need your address though"

- [ ] "oh yeah– its *address*"

- [ ] jirou arrives all nervous and shit

i didn't have anything planned out after that, but it was probably gonna be a kiss scene or something idk

#jirou x reader #wnmb #wrong number my bad #jirou kyouka #kyouka x reader #writers

14 notes · View notes

haikyuu-drabble · 5 years

Note

Hi! Of you are taking requests may I have a #2 or #26 for miya atsumu please.

hi! so like u this ended up being 22 pages lol.... i just really have a huge crush on atsumu so god help ME!!! **MANGA SPOILERS IF YOUVE NOT READ UNTIL CHAP 378***

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!

--------------------------------

atsumu x reader | change

26. i think i’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again

word count: 8607

“Aren’t you going to head to the meeting soon?” your coworker called out to you.

“Ennoshita!” You were gathering some things off of your desk, “I was just headed there, right now.”

“What was the meeting going to be about again?” he asked you.

“The company that hired us to write the script for that commercial wants us to meet the person they chose to sponsor.” you explained.

“Right! That ramen company.” he clapped, “They’ve finally chosen who would really suit the image for it. I’m glad you were picked to write for this project!”

“Thanks.” you laughed, “I’ll see you later. I’m heading over!”

“Tell me who we ended up choosing once you find out!” Ennoshita called out.

You gave him a thumbs up in response and headed out on your way.

Your boss had finally given you a chance to prove yourself, and there was no way you were going to let this opportunity pass you by.

In the beginning of the meeting, your boss went over the normal procedures. However, he added, “Our clients want you to get to know the athlete better and edit the project to fit him more.”

You easily agreed to that. You felt that there was nothing that your boss could have said that might have stopped you. That was until they introduced who was going to be starring in all the ads that you’d be designing.

The person who walked in was none other than Miyu Atsumu. His shocked expression when he saw you must have mirrored yours because he was the last person you were ever expecting to see in this room.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” you muttered to yourself.

Your boss looked in your direction and asked, “What was that?”

You feigned a smile and said, “Great choice for this project!”

Once the meeting was concluded, your boss looked at you, “Can you exchange numbers with Miya? That way it’ll be easier to get into contact with each other.”

Atsumu smiled at your boss, “That’s quite alright. I believe we already have each others numbers!”

Atsumu looked at you and smirked, and you looked at your boss, “We’ve been acquainted for some time actually. I don’t know if getting to know him a bit better would actually be necessary.”

“Sorry, no can do. It’s the clients request, and I’m not going to be the one to tell them no.” he responded.

You nodded at your boss, and he exited the conference room, leaving you and Atsumu alone. You rubbed your temples, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Atsumu grinned, “Who would have believed that I’d be working with my ex for my first commercial?”

“I could literally say the same thing.” you sighed, “Look. Can’t we just tell my boss that we meet up and stuff? Then, I’ll edit the script a little bit, and we all win in the end. You don’t have to see me, and I don’t have to see you, but everyone thinks we did.”

A devious smile grew on his face, “You know, I’m feeling like it’s time I straighten myself out.”

“What?” you deadpanned at him, very confused.

Atsumu continued, “I really think that I’ve got to stop lying. ‘Samu’s always on me about that, and I just think today is the day that I change that. We should really listen to your boss and hang out for that script of yours.”

Your shoulders dropped, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen me. I could’ve changed here or there.” he smiled.

“I doubt it. It seems like you like to rile me up the same way as before.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to tell your boss that you aren’t doing what he says.” he smirked, “Hopefully, they’ll still accept you as the writer for the commercial.”

“Fine! Fine!” you gave in and pulled out your phone, “What’s your number?”

Atsumu raised a brow, “Seriously?”

“I deleted your number when we broke up. I never expected I’d be needing it ever again.” you admitted.

He begrudgingly grabbed your phone out of your hand and entered his number, “I hope to be hearing from you soon!”

“Don’t wait too long.” you sighed.

That night was a work department dinner, and you ended up at an izakaya. After a couple of drinks, everyone was starting to get a little chattier and louder. Ennoshita exclaimed, “Wait! You dated The Miya Atsumu?”

“Not so loud!” you covered his mouth with your hand, “It’s really not that cool.”

He pulled your hand off him and whispered, “You’re kidding, right? He literally has a fan club dedicated to him and just had an article written about how he’s one of the top sports bachelors.”

“Him? Really?” you snorted, “Wait, how do you even know that?”

“I hear stuff!” he shrugged, “But still, I can’t believe you! How did you two even meet?!”

“We met through common friends, and it just kind of happened.” you took a sip of your beer.

Your friend rested his chin on his hand, “So then, how long did you two date?”

“Almost four years.” you answered.

“Four years?!” Ennoshita exclaimed.

“Can you relax!” You looked to see if anyone overhead and stared at the foam in your glass, “It was a long time ago.”

He asked, “So, how is working with Miya Atsumu?”

“It’s interesting,” you veered.

“Intersting?” he chuckled, “What do you mean by that? Are things awkward?”

“Not really.” you shook your head, “Atsumu isn’t the type to let things like this really affect him.”

“What about you?” your friend asked, “Are you comfortable working with him?”

You rolled your eyes a bit, “Sadly, that doesn’t matter. I feel like if I really want to be respected as a scriptwriter, I have to deal with all the punches I’m dealt. If I don’t, no one will take me seriously.”

The next day, you were at your desk looking over some paperwork when you got a text from Atsumu. He was telling you to eat dinner with him. You replied, “No way! This is so last minute. I have things to do.”

You sent the text and put your phone face down on your desk. While you were dating, maybe planning things last minute was fine, but you didn’t owe him anything anymore.

You went back to reviewing some of your work and had gone uninterrupted for a good fifteen minutes. That was when your phone started ringing. You peeked at the caller ID and saw Atsumu’s name.

You grabbed your phone and headed into the hallway. You answered the phone, “Atsumu, are you being serious right now?”

“Yes.” he replied, “Let’s get sushi tonight. I’m craving fatty tuna.”

“I told you that I can’t. I have work to do tonight.”

“Well, I could just go to you, and tell your boss that you’ve been too busy to go on dates with me.”

“Dates?” you repeated, “We are not going on dates.”

“Dates or spending time… same thing isn’t it? I mean, I can talk to your boss about it the whole thing later when I stop by.”

“No! Don’t do that.” you looked at your pile of work on your desk and gave in, “What time?”

“Great!” he cheered, “I’ll send you the address, and let’s meet at seven.”

“Okay.” you sighed.

“See you then!” you could hear his grin through the phone.

You hung up your phone and tossed it to the edge of your desk. If you were going to get anywhere close to finishing all your work you had to get rid of all distractions.

You found yourself speed walking to the restaurant that Atsumu sent you. You managed to finish all your work, but you did have to stay just a tad bit longer at work than you expected. When you got to the restaurant, you told the hostess Atsumu’s name, and she led you to your table.

At the table was the familiar blond. You sat down and tried to catch your breath. He tilted his head, “Why are you out of breath?”

“Because I know how much you hate waiting, and I am barely capable of dealing with you normally, much less a grumpy version of you.” you answered.

“That may have been true before, but next time don’t rush.” he opened the menu, “I can wait a couple minutes.”

You raised your brow and picked up the menu as well, “Looks like someone has changed a little bit.”

Without looking up from the menu, he chuckled, “I told you that you that I’ve changed since the last time we saw each other.”

When the waitress came to take your drink orders, Atsumu answered, “We’ll have one Asahi and one Sapporo.”

You looked at the waitress and smiled, “Actually, can you make that just two Asahis?”

She wrote down your orders and left. You looked at Atsumu with a smile, “You’re not the only one who has changed a little bit over the years.”

He looked at you and chuckled, “So, what have you been up to now?”

You were looking at the food options on the menu and replied, “Well, I’ve been promoted here and there through the years, and this commercial that I’m writing for is the first one they’re letting me put my hands on alone, finally. So, don’t mess this up for me.”

“I could say the same thing.” he chuckled, “Don’t make me look like a scrub.”

You rolled your eyes and sarcastically answered, “How could I possibly make one of the top pro athlete bachelors look like a scrub?”

Atsumu grinned, “True.”

“Right.” You rolled your eyes, “How about your team? How’s the good old Bokuto?”

Astumu showed an irritated expression, “He’s the same as always. Annoying.”

“Glad to see that he hasn’t changed at all!” you laughed.

“That makes literally only one person in the whole world.” Atsumu deadpanned.

“He’s not that bad!” you responded, “You guys just have two very different personalities, so of course things can get volatile. Though, it’s mostly from your end.”

“I resent that.” Atsumu sighed.

When the food came, you couldn’t help but feel the hunger in your stomach. It just dawned on you that you had to forgo lunch because of all of today’s deadlines. You started digging in as soon as the food was set down and Atsumu watched you with a smile, “Let me guess. You skipped out on lunch?”

With a full mouth, you answered, “Well, I had to finish all my work since someone wanted to get dinner last minute.”

Atsumu scoffed, “We both know that’s not true. You’ve always had the terrible habit of skipping meals in general.”

You stuck another piece of salmon sushi in your mouth, “What can I say? Eating comes second to my work.”

“Well, if you had better taste buds, you’d actually enjoy eating more.” Atsumu placed a piece of fatty tuna from his plate onto yours, “Salmon sushi is subpar.”

“Whatever~” you sang as you took another bite.

“As long as you’re eating. You and I both know that without food, you can’t have the fuel needed to perform well. ”

You picked up the sushi he gave you and smiled, “Your athlete is coming out, Atsumu.”

When you both finished eating, Atsumu offered to take you home, “Yoyogi, right?”

“Ah, not anymore.” you shook your head, “I moved to Shibuya.”

“Even better. That’s where I live, too.” he grinned.

On the train ride home, since it was past rush hour, you two were able to find seats. You looked outside of the window and watched the buildings quickly pass by you. At one of the stops, you noticed a mother carrying her baby went onto the train. You stood up and were about to give her the seat, but Atsumu pushed your shoulder down. He stood up himself and smiled at the mother signaling for her to take his seat. Atsumu ended up standing in front of you. He faced you, and you smiled at him. He mouthed, “What?”

You only smiled and shook your head in response.

When you reached your apartment complex, you said, “Even though, this was last minute, and I had to rush all my work, tonight was fun.”

“Of course, it was. You spent it with me.” he smirked.

“That being said, if you ever do this again on a work day, I am going to kill you.” you warned.

“Fine. Fine. Got it.” Atsumu put both his hands up, “Speaking of,” he took something out of his pocket, “Here.”

You looked at what his hands held, and it was a ticket for one of his games. You asked, “Really?”

“It’s for this weekend, and it’s in Tokyo. Since I’ve given you a couple days of warning, there’s no reason for you to not come.” he replied.

“I’ll see if I can make it.” you looked at him, “But seriously, no promises.”

“Whatever.” he chuckled.

He turned his back and started to walk away. You called out, “Have a good night, Atsumu.”

He didn’t turn around and just put a hand up to signal goodbye.

The next morning, you couldn’t stop thinking of the ticket. This time he wasn’t really forcing you to go, so there was no pressure this time. But why did you feel even more inclined to go?

You brought it up later with Ennoshita at lunch. He asked, “I mean, you two are friends, and from the dinner you two had, it doesn’t seem like it was awkward at all.”

“I just don’t know what he wants from me.” you replied.

“Has he hit on you at all?” he questioned.

You shook your head. “See.” he pointed out, “There’s nothing to worry about. Maybe he just wants to repair some burnt bridges. Besides, isn’t it better if things go normally for the commercial?”

“That’s… true.” you admitted.

“Why are you so resistant on mending your guys’ relationship? Did the breakup end badly?”

“Not at all really.” you answered, “The relationship itself was actually pretty easy. He was definitely a brat. He’s definitely still a brat, but we got along well and had fun.”

Your coworker raised a brow, “Then why did you two break up?”

You shrugged, “We just drifted apart. He got busy with travelling for his team, and I--” you hesitated, “I just wanted to focus on my career, too. I guess we just weren’t in sync anymore.”

“Well, it seems like neither of you have any desire to date again, so if you’re really asking for my opinion then I say go. But at the end of the day, if you really don’t want to go, then don’t.”

You pouted, “That doesn’t help at all.”

“I’m not going to force you to go if you don’t want to!” he laughed.

You groaned and put your head on the table. Ennoshita then suggested, “Just go. If you feel like leaving then leave. At least you can say that way you went, and both parties are satisfied.”

“I’ll… think about it.” you replied.

Despite your words that same weekend, you found yourself in the city’s gymnasium. The smell of icy hot created giant waves of nostalgia. Before you got there, you reminded yourself that you could leave at any time you became uncomfortable. The issue was that you felt even more comfortable being there than you expected.

You looked around, and the crowds of people made it harder to get around. You checked the time, and you showed up a little early. You decided you might as well go around and get some food. While looking at the stalls, you saw a familiar face. You approached the man, “Osamu?”

Osamu looked up and gave you a shocked expression, “Hey. I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

You awkwardly laughed, “It has been a long time. I’m glad to see that your onigiri business is doing great still.”

“I’m glad to see it, too.” he replied, “Are you here for ‘Tsumu?”

“Uhh… kind of.” you chuckled.

“You guys dating again?” he asked.

“I-I see you still get to the point quickly.” you tried to laugh, “But, no. We aren’t dating.”

Osamu raised both his brows, “Interesting.”

Osamu passed you two onigiris, and you pulled out your wallet to pay. He held his hand out to stop you, “Don’t worry about it. Just take it as an apology for whatever Atsumu has done to inconvenience you.”

“Well,” you joked, “Two onigiris should do it for now, but we’ll see how much you owe me in a couple of days.”

You walked out to find a seat and tried to avoid the cheer area for Atsumu’s team in fear of running into anyone you knew. While looking over the crowd, you smiled. There were so many more people cheering for Atsumu’s team than before.

When the teams came out, you saw all of Atsumu’s teammates. Some were familiar, some new, but your surrounding incited a sense of excitement in you.

You could see Atsumu looking through the crowd. When he faced your direction, he stopped and smiled. It felt like he was looking straight at you, but you knew it was impossible for him to find you in this sea of people.

While watching the game, it reminded you of how much you used to love coming to support him. He’d taught you all about the sport, and you were glad you still made sense of everything. What was also crazy to see was how much better he’d gotten… you didn’t even know that was possible. You thought of telling him about how much he’s improved, but you know that guy did not any more fuel to add to his ego.

At the end of the match, you could feel yourself getting a bit anxious. You had hoped slightly that he’d text you where you were, but that hope caused fear in you as well. Fear that you wouldn’t get that text and then be filled with disappointment.

You decided to just text him that it was a great game and to thank him for the ticket. Just when you pulled out your phone from your pocket, you felt it vibrate. You checked it, and on your screen was a notification for a text from Atsumu.

You could feel yourself feeling not only relieved… but happy. You tried shoving those feelings as far down as you could. There was no way you were going back there. You couldn’t.

You finally managed to read the text, and it read, “Come and meet me in the back.”

You smiled and typed, “How do you even know I went to your game?”

Within seconds, he responded, “You would never miss a chance to watch me play.”

You closed your screen and scoffed to yourself.

Despite your reaction, you decided to meet him. You were leaning against the wall waiting for him to come out, and you were surprised by someone putting a cap on your head. You looked up and saw Atsumu, who was also wearing a cap. You laughed, “What is this for?”

He put his hand over your head and said, “Just trust me on this.”

He started to lead you to the exit when a familiar voice behind you exclaimed, “Hey! ‘Tsumu is going off with another person!”

You took the cap off and glared at Atsumu, “‘Another person?’”

Atsumu looked up in exasperation, “Now? Of all times?”

“Oh!” the voice announced, “It’s you!”

You looked behind you and smiled, “Hi, Bokuto. Long time no see.”

Atsumu glared at Bokuto, “What do you mean by another person?”

“Well, earlier you went off with the sports doctor for your knee.” Bokuto explained.

You looked at Atsumu with slight panic, “What happened to your knee?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Atsumu put the hat back on your head, “It was a minor injury, and the doctor just wanted to make sure it was totally healed.”

He looked over Bokuto, “And you! Stop saying such misleading sentences!”

Atsumu grabbed your hand and headed towards the exit. Bokuto called out to you, “It was good seeing you!”

You grinned and waved, “You, too!”

Before Atsumu opened the door to leave the building, he looked at you, “I know you’re cute and all, but try not to draw any attention to yourself.”

You could feel your ears go red, “What are you talking about?!”

He smirked at you and led you outside. When you got outside, there were crowds of reporters and paparazzi but they were all waiting at another door. You looked at Atsumu in front of you, “Where are we going?!”

He laughed, “Just shut up and follow me!”

Atsumu led you to a parking structure, and he walked up to a car. He let go of your hand and opened the driver’s side door, “You coming?”

“Y-yeah.” you nodded.

You got inside the other side of the vehicle and buckled your seatbelt, “When did you get a car?”

Atsumu turned on the ignition, “Not too long ago.”

When he started to drive, you said, “You know, you only asked me to go to your game today. I didn’t realize that included plans after.”

Atsumu snorted, “I’m only driving you home, dummy.”

You scratched your head and looked out the window, “You can’t expect me to think that knowing you.”

“I just wanted to see you at least one more time today.” he commented.

“One more time?” you asked, “When was the other time you saw me?”

“I saw you in the crowd.” he laughed, “Didn’t you see me looking right at you?”

“Someone’s back to telling lies.” you sang.

“You were sitting on the back left side of the cheering area.” he refuted.

You pouted, “Lucky guess.”

Atsumu looked at your expression and chuckled.

Once you reached your apartment, you thanked him for the ride home and opened the car door. Before closing it, you laughed, “Life has gotten slightly more interesting since you came back, Atsumu.”

“I think that’s how most people feel about me.” he mused.

“Bye.” you chimed before closing the car door in his face.

The next following days were filled with more work, mostly about Atsumu’s sponsorship with things regarding budget, location, etc… When you finally managed to catch a break, you were resting at your desk. Ennoshita came up to you and placed yet another file on your desk, “So, how’d the game go?”

You opened the files that he placed on your desk, “It-It went.”

“Went?”

“I don’t know!” you cried, “I keep getting these weird mixed signals from him. At times, I think he’s flirting with me, but then it turns out he’s just being nice. Even then, him being nice is a rarity, so I don’t--”

“Relax!” Ennoshita laughed, “Breathe.”

“Right.” you looked around to see if anyone noticed your complaints, “It’s just there are these moments when I just find myself being swept off my feet, and then back into reality by his casualness about it all.”

“Well, you dated him before. You should be more or less familiar with his style.” Ennoshita pointed out.

“That’s the thing.” you sighed, “This Atsumu is someone who I’m not familiar with at all. Before, he was so straightforward with his feelings, so I never really doubted him. If you were to ask me now…”

“How do you want him to feel about you?” Ennoshita examined.

You put you head on your desk, “That seems like the answer we all want to know.”

You sat up and looked at Ennoshita, “Well, whatever. It doesn’t matter how I want him to feel. There’s no way he holds feelings for me anymore, so I’m not going to worry about it. He just wants to be friends.”

One of you coworkers came up to you, “Hey, boss wants to see you in his office.”

You looked at Ennoshita and mumbled, “Not a word to anyone about this!”

Ennoshita saluted at you, “You got it.”

You walked alongside your other coworker and asked, “Did he say what it would be about at all?”

“No clue.” They shook their head, “Good luck, though.”

You got up from your chair and headed to his office. When you knocked, he answered, “Come in.”

You tried to smile, “You asked me to stop by?”

“I just wanted to see if you’ve made any updates on the script yet.”

“Just a little bit here or there.” you lied.

“Great.” he nodded, “Can you finish it by this weekend and have it on my desk by Monday?”

“Monday?” you fearfully repeated.

He raised a brow, “Is there a problem with that?”

You instinctively shook your head, “Nope, Monday sounds great.”

When you left your office, you sighed. You’d normally set up time to edit at your desk, but in each session, you couldn’t manage even one change. How in the world were you going to edit this script?

That weekend you shut yourself in your apartment and didn’t let yourself leave your desk until you managed to finish the script. That being said, grabbing some inspiration from playing on your phone wasn’t forbidden. You were in the middle of checking twitter when you got a text. You were smiling after seeing who it was from.

Rather than texting back, you called them. You heard his voice through the speaker, “Hello.”

You smiled, “Atsumu, what did I say about asking me to hang out last minute?”

“Hmm…” he pretended to think, “I really can’t remember what you’re talking about, though?”

“Regardless of whether you remember or not,” you sighed, “I am not free for dinner tonight. I have to finish the script for your commercial by Monday.”

“That’s too bad.” he quickly responded, “Maybe next time.”

You were shocked by his quick concession, “Yeah. Uh, maybe next time.”

He hung up the phone, and you stared at the screen. You were caught off guard by how quickly he accepted your no. It wasn’t that you were used to people not insisting, but you just weren’t used to Atsumu giving in that quickly.

You put your phone down and stared at your computer screen once again. If you were going to feel any relief this weekend, this script had to be done… that’s what you said, but here you were sitting at your computer… still with no edits.

Your lack of any sense of creativity was interrupted by a knock at your door. You figured it was your neighbor probably passing you your mail that might have ended up in their box again. You opened it, and to your extreme surprise, you said, “Atsumu?”

He looked you up and down and smirked, “You look… comfortable.”

You looked down at your pajamas and fuzzy slippers, you muttered, “What are you doing here?”

Atsumu lifted up his arms that carried a bag of food, “I figured if you were crammed up in your apartment, you definitely weren’t eating.”

He walked past you and into your apartment, “So, shall we take a break and eat?”

You closed your front door and sighed, “Not like I was getting anything done anyways.”

He placed the food on your dining table and pointed at your laptop, “This where you’re editing the script?”

You grabbed the to-go boxes of food, “Yup.”

He pulled the laptop, so he could see the screen. He looked up at you with a disgusted expression, “Slurps Up?”

“It’s the sponsor’s catchphrase. You of all people should know that.” you snorted.

“I’m getting paid to promote the product, not actually consume it.” he replied.

��Well, that’s the one thing I can’t change out of the script, even though, I wish I could.” you joked, “Other than that, I have no idea what to make different.”

Atsumu read through the script again and suggested, “What if I read through everything, and whatever sounds off, you can change.”

“I mean it can’t hurt.” you nodded.

Atsumu started reading through the script, and you were taking notes on different things like his tone and the words he was emphasizing. When he finished, you asked him to read it one more time. Atsumu shook his head, “Finish eating first, and then I’ll go through it one more time.”

“Come on.” you begged, “It’ll only take like three minutes.”

Atsumu closed your laptop and glared at you, “Eat.”

“Fine.” you pouted in response.

You tried eating all the food that Atsumu brought you, so you could you start working again. Now that you knew what you wanted to do, you felt the need to get it done as soon as possible in fear that it would all disappear from your brain. Once you finished, you opened your laptop and pushed it in front of him, “Read through it one more time.”

“I’m not even done eating yet!” Atsumu blurted.

“Just three minutes of your time, and I’ll let you eat in peace!” you insisted.

“Fine.” he wiped his mouth and started reading.

Once he went through it, you grabbed your laptop from him, “Perfect!”

You quickly typed and changed the wording in random spots. When you passed him the laptop to read through it one more time, he deadpanned, “Let me finish eating this time.”

“Right.” you giggled.

You continued to read through the script making sure things flowed well, and when he finally finished eating, he took the laptop from you. He started reading it.

When he finished, you asked, “So, what do you think of it now?”

“I think it flows a lot better, and strangely enough you used words I actually use normally. Hopefully, the filming for this will go easier than normal.” he replied.

“Wow, is that a compliment from The Miya Atsumu?” you laughed.

He patted your head, “Don’t get too carried away.”

You stood up from the table and ran to your kitchen. You pull out a couple of cans, “This calls for a celebration!”

You tossed a can of beer and sat on the couch, “Seriously! I feel really good about this script. I hope my boss accepts it.”

Atsumu moved to the couch to sit next to you, “Well, if you’re that confident, I hope he takes it too.”

You crossed your legs and face him. You held out your beer to cheers with him, and he clinked his can to yours with a side smile.

You took a couple of gulps from your can and released a breath, “There’s seriously nothing better than a cold can of beer.”

Atsumu took a sip of his and set it down on the coffee table, “I’ll agree with you on that.”

You were still facing him and asked, “So, I know we talked about what I did in the past couple of years. How about you, Atsumu?”

“I’ve just been traveling and touring a lot for volleyball games.” he answered, “Same old, same old.”

“You act like being adored by fans and getting paid thousands for sponsors is normal.” you snorted.

“It’s not why I play.” he responded.

“It’s been a while, but trust me when I say I know that much about you.” You took a sip of your beer, “Your nearly insatiable hunger for getting better and winning is the reason.”

Atsumu held his can out for you to cheers it, “That’s correct.”

You hit his can once again and laughed, “Did you know that when you drink, you have a tendency to cheers quite often?”

Atsumu turned red, and you cackled, “I’m guessing you didn’t know!”

You stood up from the couch and asked, “I’m gonna get another one. Do you want one?”

Atsumu’s eyes went wide, “You already finished one?”

“It’s been stressful these past couple of days!” you defended, “Today is probably one of the only days for awhile that I can enjoy drinking, so I’m gonna enjoy every minute of it.”

He grabbed the TV remote with his other hand, “I’ll get one when I’m done with this.”

“Suit yourself.” you walked towards the kitchen.

You sat down on the couch again with your drink and watched Atsumu flip through the channels and asked, “Out of curiosity, have you dated anyone since we broke up?”

Atsumu nearly choked on his drink, “W-What are you talking about?”

“Well, have you?” you asked, “I mean, you can’t be dating anyone right now considering you’re at my place on a Saturday night.”

“Says the person crammed at home by herself on a Saturday night.”

“Hey! I had work to do.”

“Oh?” Atsumu raised a brow, “Are you living a fruitful dating life then?”

You looked back at the TV and leaned your back against the couch, “It’s been a busy time with work.”

Atsumu laughed, “I see.” he started flipping through the channels again, “But not really. I’ve been busy with work too.”

You could feel your stomach starting to knot. There you were again starting to feel hopeful. You wanted to shove those feelings far down. To distract you, you ended up chugging the rest of your can. Atsumu looked at you, “You good over there?”

“Great!” you grinned.

You walked over to the fridge once again, and Atsumu finally stood up and said, “Wait, just a second. Should you really be getting another one?”

“Why?” you snorted, “You worried about me?”

“I mean, yeah.” Atsumu started, “Beer has a lot of calories, and you aren’t as young anymore--”

You slapped him in the stomach, and he flinched. “I am not fat!” you opened the fridge, “I bet that I can finish this beer faster than you.”

When he managed to catch his breath, he said, “You and I both know that’s not true.”

You placed a can in his hand, “Talk is cheap.”

You walked over to the couch and heard the sound of a can being opened. You smiled at yourself for knowing that Atsumu could never step down from a challenge.

After several more drinks and bottles, you felt yourself slump on the couch. Atsumu was leaning back too, his stomach sticking out completely due to all the liquids. He groaned, “Why do you have so much alcohol just for one person?”

“In the workplace, ice wine and champagne is the normal gift to give for birthdays or other celebrations. So, I have several bottles stocked up over the years.” you laughed,.

“And no one to drink with?” Atsumu teased.

“Nope.” you openly admitted.

After that, only the noise of the TV filled the room. Atsumu was first to speak, “Hey, I’ve always wondered. Why did we break up?”

You looked over at him, “Really? You’re going to ask that now?”

“Well, it’s either now or never.” he chuckled.

If either of you were sober, this conversation never would have come up, and you most definitely wouldn’t have answered his question. But you were very far from sober. “You were travelling all over the country, and I was just starting out on my career. You got all these great new opportunities, and yet you were stuck with your significant other who was getting nowhere with their life. You were growing, and I just felt like a thorn at your side.”

“You were never a thorn at my side.” he retorted.

You could sense the tension in his voice, and you tried to calm down the situation, “Well, regardless, we are friends now, and I know that’s what you want. Sometimes, I’m pretty sure I get carried away though because of how easy it is for us to be together. I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”

Atsumu asked, “Why hold yourself back?”

You looked at Atsumu expecting to have a smile on his face, but he was completely serious. You couldn’t find the words to reply. He continued, “You were never a hindrance. Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt?”

“I don’t know.” you could feel yourself choking up, “I just couldn’t.”

“I suppose you mean to tell me that you broke up with me for my sake.” he fumed.

You couldn’t look him in the eyes because that was always your excuse: you ended the relationship for him. But you knew that was never the truth. You were terrified that his motivation would one day want something that no longer included you. So, you cut him off before he could ever get the chance.

Atsumu stood up from the couch, “I never wanted you to leave me. You’ve been one of the few people who I genuinely enjoy spending my time with. You loved me for me, and you’ve never asked me to change, despite my horrible personality. Even now.” he turned to face you, “You admitted yourself that being together just feels rights. Now that you’re where you want to be in your career, could you even just consider us again? If I were to ask you to give me another chance, would you?”

You saw the earnestness in Atsumu’s eyes. When you hesitated, the pain that then filled his eyes caused your heart to break. He turned around and headed to the door. When he touched the doorknob, Atsumu faced you one more time, “I know how hard it can be to deal with me, and that’s what I always thought it was. This whole time, I really thought it was me who made you unhappy. But you know, I can tell and show you that I love you as much as I can, and it still won’t be enough. Because your source of unhappiness isn’t me, it’s you.”

When he finally opened the door, you tried to call out to him, but he slammed it behind him without hesitation. You were left alone with only the small sound of the television.

The following Monday, you submitted the new script to your boss. You sat in the breakroom alone, staring at your black coffee. You were surprised by Ennoshita’s voice, “Hey! Did you actually manage to make some edits that make a difference?”

You stirred your coffee, “I guess so.”

Ennoshita sat on the chair across from yours and tried to get a look at your face, “Everything alright?”

You feigned a smile at your friend, “Yeah, just had a long weekend full of work.”

Ennoshita leaned back in his chair, “I don’t know about that. I’ve seen you after a real weekend of work, and you don’t look this miserable.”

“Gee, thanks.” you mused

“You know what I mean.” Ennoshita rolled his eyes, “What happened?”

“Atsumu and I got into a fight this weekend.” you revealed.

“A fight? About what?”

“Why we broke up.”

Ennoshita tilted his head, “Isn’t that conversation literally years overdue?”

“But it’s a conversation we never had.” you sighed, “He told me he still loved me, and asked to try us out one more time basically, but...”

Ennoshita scanned your face and figured how you must have answered Atsumu, “Do you think you made the right decision?”

You rested your chin on your arms on the table, “Not at all.”

“Then, what are you planning on doing?”

“I don’t know. Maybe fall into a hole for the next year of my life.” you groaned.

“Who knows? If the boss hates your new script, you may actually get the chance to do that.” Ennoshita replied.

You looked up and glared at him, but he smiled at you, “Look. We all know that your new script is going to get a pass from the boss. What you should worry about next is how you’re going to deal with Atsumu when he films it.”

“Do I have to go to that?” you whined, “I mean I did my part. I wrote the thing.”

Ennoshita stood up, “Wow, you just officially became a writer, and you’re already turning into a diva.”

You looked at him, and he gave you another smile, “Just feel better.”

You smiled back at him, “Thanks, Ennoshita.”

“Anytime~” He sang, “That reminds me, I actually came here to tell you that the boss approved of your script, and production starts in two weeks.”

You stood up from your seat, “Ennoshita, couldn’t you have opened with that?!”

“I don’t even know why you’ve been so scared to get kicked off the project. You’re one of the top writers at this company.” He turned around and shrugged, “Besides if I brought up the news later, then I wouldn’t have learned what happened over this weekend!”

You instantly grabbed your phone and were about to send a message to Atsumu, but you quickly stopped yourself. You looked out the window and sighed. He was probably the only person in the world who you wanted to share your news with.

The next two weeks were extreme times of work. You were alongside the production company making sure everything was going to plan. It wasn’t necessarily in your job description, but you just had to get something to distract you. If you didn’t, you might have gone crazy from anxiety waiting for the day you were forced to see Atsumu again.

When the day of filming finally was nearing, you nearly begged Ennoshita to join you the day of set. “Please, Ennoshita, I do not want to face him alone. Besides, you’ve always wanted to get to know more about the production side of things, right? Today’s the day!”

Ennoshita cringed, “Fine. Fine. Just stop acting like you’re doing me a favor.”

You grinned, “Thank you!”

“Please, don’t mention it.” he deadpanned.

The daty had finally arrived, and you were there bright and early on set. You were sitting next to the director, and you two were going over the checklist. You checked the time on your phone, and if things were going according to schedule, Atsumu should be in makeup.

You called Ennoshita over who was eating the set food. He jogged over to you, and you asked, “Astumu is getting his makeup done, right?”

“Yup!” he grinned, “Just checked.”

You checked your watch, “Great. Then he’ll be out there in 15 minutes, and I can leave.”

The director interrupted, “I was told you were staying today in order to help us if we have questions about the script.”

You could feel your stomach drop, and for once you were upset that you couldn’t push this onto a co-writer. You smiled at the director, “I’ll stay then.”

You immediately looked over at Ennoshita with slight panic in your eyes, and he pat you on the back, “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Right.” you breathed, “Things will be great.”

In a couple of minutes, Atsumu finally came out, and you tried to hide yourself. The director told him to move to the set, and Atsumu immediately locked eyes with you when he did. You expected him to at least acknowledge you, but there was nothing. You knew you didn’t deserve it.

Filming for the most part was going smoothly. When the director called for a break, the director went over the next part of the script with you. Ennoshita asked you, “You want anything from the set food?”

You smiled and shook your head, “That’s alright. I’m not hungry.”

Ennoshita looked at the set in front of him, “Despite you having bad reasons for bringing me here, I’m actually glad you did.”

“And why is that?” you rolled your eyes.

“You were right when you said I have been wanting to get into the production side of things, but it’s great watching you work too.”

“I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing since I can’t ask a co-writer for their opinions.” you scoffed.

“I don’t think you need a co-writer at all. It’s kind of clear to everyone here. If the director thought you weren’t capable, he would not have wanted you on set. You’d just get in the way.” he tapped your shoulder, “Have a little more faith in yourself.”

You looked in Atsumu’s direction and scratched the back of your head, “That seems to always be my issue.”

When the director called for things to start up again, you watched everything roll out once again. However there was a part in one scene that another person just wasn’t getting right. When the director called cut, you asked, “If it’s alright with you, can we roll that again? But have the other person talk just a little louder.”

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” the director nodded.

When the day finally ended, Ennoshita came up to you with a plate of fatty tuna sushi. You took it and laughed, “They had fatty tuna on the set table? That’s fancy.”

“No, actually. Atsumu passed it to me to give to you.” Ennoshita replied, “Even though things are rough between you two, I think you should go talk to him. The whole time today he was looking at you, and when you told the director to redo a scene, he smiled at you. I kind of pity the guy.”

You chuckled, “I don’t know if you’ll be pitying him after seeing the fat paycheck he’s getting from this.”

“At least my relationship isn’t in the rocks.” Ennoshita joked.

“Ennoshita!” you exclaimed, “That relationship involves me!”

“Just talk to him when you get the chance. I think he’ll be willing to listen to you.” he laughed, “Anyways, enjoy your sushi, and have a good night.”

“Night.” you smiled at your friend.

The same evening, you were at your dining table staring at your phone. You had been trying to gain the courage to text Atsumu for the past hour, but you were horrified. What if he didn’t reply and no longer wanted anything to do with you?

You sighed. Frankly, it’s what you deserved. He already gave you a second chance. Did you really deserve a third?

What you did know was that you owed it to yourself to finally try to speak your mind. You hesitantly grabbed your phone from off the table and dialed his number. It rang three times until it stopped, and the call was picked up but no one said anything. You called out, “Atsumu?”

“Nope. You got Osamu.” he answered the phone, “Though, you may want to come over to Atsumu’s soon.”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” you panicked, “Is everything okay?”

Osamu scoffed, “He’s fine. He’s just--”

He stopped, but you could hear in the background Atsumu telling him to shut up. You tried to redirect the conversation, “Is it alright if I speak to Atsumu?”

Osamu continued, “I think you should just stop by. I’ll text you his address.”

“I-- Alright.” you nodded.

You hung up the phone, and soon after got an address. You grabbed your things and headed to his place. It was a quick ten minute walk since he really did live in the same district as you. When you got there, you knocked on the door, and Osamu was the one to open the door. “Is he alright?” you said out of breath.

“Why are you out of breath? Did you run here?” he asked.

“Kind of.” you answered.

“‘Tsumu, see!” Osamu looked behind him, “There’s nothing to worry about. They ran all the way over here.”

“Just go!” Astumu yelled from behind.

Osamu let himself out of the apartment, and you let yourself in, “Atsumu, are you here? Why are all the lights off?”

“Don’t look at me!” he yelled.

“What are you talking about?” you felt the walls for a light switch.

When you finally felt one on the wall, you pressed it. Finally, the apartment’s lights went on, and you could see. You saw what was way too familiar a scene. Atsumu was sat on the couch nearly lifeless. You chuckled, “Why are you so sad?”

He mumbled, “I told ‘Samu not to pick up the phone, and what does he do? He picks up the phone.”

You sat on the couch and said, “Whatever it is, it can’t be that serious.”

“This is totally embarrassing!” he groveled.

“What are you talking about?” you exclaimed.

“I’m talking about at the shoot today. I tried to be cool, and I kept messing up my lines. Why did we have to do the ‘Slurps up!’” line so many times?!” he exclaimed.

You laughed, “That’s what has you all depressed? Really?”

He glared at you, “I didn’t want to look stupid in front of you, and I did just that! I bit my tongue when I first opened my mouth! After everything, I was too embarrassed to even give you the food I prepared for you. I ended up giving it to one of your coworkers!”

You were listening Atsumu vent about his issues, and you could feel yourself calming down. You took a deep breath and started talking about the things you wanted to, “Atsumu, I came over to… tell you that I’m sorry.”

He opened his mouth, and you shook your head. You continued, “I love you, and I never stopped. You make things so much more fun, and you always managed to keep me on my toes. Like today, for example. I could feel my heartbeat raise just from looking at you, and I was expecting you to be mad at me--”

He interrupted you, “I am still mad at you. I only got you food because I knew you wouldn’t have eaten otherwise.”

“Right.” You smiled at him, “You also frustrate me to no end, but the way you make me feel is incomparable to anyone else.”

“I’m not as courageous as you.” Tears were starting to fill your eyes, “I’m a coward, and that’s why I ended things before. But I don’t want to be anymore. So, if you’ll take me as the coward I am now, I promise that in due time, you can proudly call me your partner.”

Atsumu wrapped both his arms around you and tucked his head into your shoulder. He whispered, “Coward or not, I’ll always be proud to call you mine.”

You wrapped your arms around him, “I love you, Atsumu.”

He pulled away slightly from your embrace and kissed you softly on the lips, “I love you, too.”

~~~~LATER~~~~

“Atsumu, hurry up!!” you called out from the couch, “The commercial is going to show soon!”

He ran over to his couch and sat next to you. You leaned your head onto his chest, and he asked, “Have you really not watched the commercial yet?”

“No because I wanted to see it with you for the first time.” you smiled, “That, and you would have begged me to show you before we released it officially.”

“I wouldn’t ask you--”

You covered his mouth and shushed him, “Be quiet! It’s starting!”

You watched the whole thirty seconds of it, and for the final scene, Atsumu gave the camera a big grin and exclaimed, “Slurps up!” followed by an overexaggerated wink.

You looked up at your boyfriend, and his face was completely red. You couldn’t help but burst out in laughter. The horror in Atsumu’s face was pure comedy. You could tell he was going to get in one of his moods again, and to prevent that from happening, you said, “There. There. That final scene was great. Everyone knows how cheesy catchphrases are.”

He looked at you with wide eyes, “Do you really think so?”

“Of course.” you pecked him on the lips.

Then you stood up from the couch and winked, “Slurps up.” before jetting away.

Atsumu stood up from the couch and chased after you with a grin, “We’ll see how much longer you’ll be laughing when I catch you!”

#atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #inarizaki #haikyuu one shot #ahikyuu imagines #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu oneshot #Anonymous

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

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kweebtrash · 4 years

Note

Hey, not necessarily a sex question. But as someone who loves reading fanfic and appreciates fanfic writers, I still can't bring myself to write it. How did you get into writing fanfic, and was it ever weird for you? Do you have any advice on how to feel less weird about it? Especially smut about real people? (To be fair I can't bring myself to write smut in general idk why)

I started writing naruto and yu yu hakusho fanfiction when i was ten and it was just a regular oc and the character i liked. It wasnt good at all but i thought it was the greatest. When i met my sister (non biological) in middle school we decided to come up with our own "anime story". We would write it in notebooks and pass it to each other during class and get in trouble for it. So i guess that was the first time ive written an "original" story. By the time i was 12 i knew what sex was (mostly) and i knew teenagers did it (my characters were teenagers) so i was like oh if they like each other then they should do it. But because i was 12 i was like THATS ICKY TO WRITE ABOUT (in detail) so i made them get in bed and then skipped ahead and wrote THE NEXT DAY 😂😂😂

Then when i got access to a laptop and internet thats when i round "real" fanfiction online and smut back when it was called "lemon/lime/citrus" whatever the fuck that means. I still remember my first one was about neji hyuga LMAO.

I started reading more fanfiction throughout my teenager years and kept writing for anime, wrote bandfiction, created a bunch of OCs to rp with my partner at the time and i think by the time i actually started having sex that i was like ok this isnt so weird to write about anymore. So when we would rp we would just text each other sex scenes and i guess it became normalized because we were doing it irl so writing about it was just like hey! We sorta know what were doing! Oh i also used to watch a lot of porn as a teen? Idk why. That stopped after like a year or so but i found out shit through that, like bdsm, squirting, how utterly gross blowjobs are, what a hitachi wand was, how much i hate spit, etc. So that actually helped me discover like my beginning kinks. Porn is still terrible tho.

I think the first time i wrote smut was with a wrestling fanfic? And i had been reading a bunch of fics that had smut and with my basic knowledge and slowly finding out what phrases i liked in order to describe things it flowed a little more naturally but it was still hard.

Then i think i didnt really write much until i wrote my pentagon story which i think is terrible but other people like it. I guess with my practicing, experience, and sex education it started becoming easier? You can tell in my pentagon story that i was still getting back into the swing of things bc my sex scenes are atrocious and ridiculous 😅

I never really liked reading series myself bc i didnt want just prose and build up. I wanted smut. I was like THATS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. So i made it a point to write smut in every single chapter so that way people stayed interested. In doing so it also helped me practice and get better. Then i read A LOT of bad kpop fics and was like....why dont these people know that sex isnt like porn??

There is a lot of copying in kpop fics in the sense that a lot of them are written the same way and we get the usual; some u realistic giant dick, "ministrations, pussy, cunt", kitten every other word, thigh riding, everyone confusing abuse with bdsm, "daddy" popping up left and right without going in depth to what meaning that holds, random weird shit. And i realized WOW I REALLY HATE KPOP FANFICS lol. So when i started writing messy i was like OK FUCK THIS IM GONNA WRITE SEX LIKE HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO. Then i starting writing smut where the condom broke, they talked about birth control, having a mental breakdown during sex, sexual assault, accidentally wacking each other while moving around, giggling, talking, explaining what you want. This i think helped me a lot, especially with my mental trauma that was associated with sex. I wanted to make it fun and real while also possibly teaching my readers about sex and maybe influencing other fic writers to not just regurgitate what they read.

As far as advice, im not quite sure if i have any?? Maybe i do lol. Take it with a grain of salt maybe?

With writing i would suggest

Read fics you like and highlight key phrases or actions you think are sexually appealing

Practice writing shorter scenes, you can even do time stamps or drabbles, things like that-people love those on here

Look into things. Honestly i knew what a cock ring was but someone requested i USE it in a fic and i was like shit guess i gotta google how to use a cock ring and while awkwardly watching videos of guys putting these things on i learned about metal ones, cages, silicone, rubber, rings, how long you should keep it on for, etc. So RESEARCH! is key too

If youve never had sex before that also helps if you research. Porn can give you a little bit of knowledge in generic motions or toys to use but by no means is it great as far as realism and sometimes its just plain icky.

So porn can be a basis, research can be a middle layer, reading other fics and seeing what you like and dont like is on top, and writing ur own is like...idk frosting lol.

As far as being weird with real people; since i wrote bandfiction and wrestling fics i was used to writing about real people for a little under ten years or so. Also i have a really active mind at night and i have tons of sex dreams that fit into like a story based setting. Thats where all my ideas for prose, dialogue and smut come from. Not everyone ofc has a brain like that but writing down things here and there might work. Lets say you have a favorite idol moment-like some really slutty dance move during a performance, you could time stamp that for inspiration. Save a lot of gifs and pics of them looking *chefs kiss*, listen to some music (i like alina baraz, sabrina claudio, galant, alex tbh, and jooyong for softer, gentler scenes or if you wanna get freak nastie listen to some dumbass jae park, or pretty ricky, or any sex related song thats not pretty lmao. Like rude boy by rihanna or something with a hard beat).

I think its also good to try and picture yourself in a sexual situation. You dont have to look like you, you could make up however you want to look in the scenario, its fantasy after all. Also think "would i like this?" Like i wont write about some idol spitting in my mouth or slapping me or peeing on me or something because thats not stuff that im into and i would be forcing myself to appease someone else and the writing woukd end up sucking big time. This also doesnt help the lack of good fics bc people are just following the requests they get even if they dont like it. I would write about what i think id feel in the moment. Id probably be nervous or if im pretending i could be a cool badass, i would think about things that i find attractive like his (imma use his bc i do write mostly about boy idols) face in the shadows of the light, how nice or soft his lips look, they way hes conveying emotions and looking at me if we were in love or if we were angry, the hold he has on me, why would it be going slow? Is it sad makeup sex? Is it a first time together? Is it just comforting after a bad day? Why would they be rough? Are they angry? Had a fight? Had a slow burn relationship and its culminated into a big explosion? Did they hate each other but hide their true feelings?

So i would suggest not just thinking about sex but thinking about the moment and all the things that lead up to, happen during, and the aftermath of it.

And of course if you don't understand anything or need more info about sex you can always ask me!

I hope this help and sorry its long😅😅😅😅

#i love my readers!

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newt-the-newt · 5 years

Text

The Mandalorian’s Everything - Chapter 4

Story Masterlist

(Y/F/C) = Your Favourite Colour

Warnings: 8700 words of pure, cheesy fluff, and now that I’m looking back on it, a smidge of angst.

It had been about 4 hours of the Mandalorian sitting in the cockpit slowly slipping into madness as he watched the stars before he went back to check on you. For good measure he punched the target in the face as he walked by, and entered his room where he found you still sleeping peacefully.

There was still at least another day's trip to Coruscant, maybe even longer with his damaged hyperdrive, and the bounty hunter was starting to get tired. But there was no way he was going to wake you up. If you needed sleep, then you could get all the sleep you wanted.

The Mandalorian went back to the bathroom to grab some more antibiotics, this time in pill form, and left them alongside a glass of water on the nightstand. He was hoping they could relieve some of the pain in your shoulder.

After taking one last look to make sure you really were okay, the Mandalorian made his way back to the cockpit where he watched millions of stars zoom by. Again.

About another hour later the bounty hunter heard small footsteps. They were gentle, and seemed to be going quite slowly. The Mandalorian smiled to himself as he guessed it was you walking around in a bit of a daze from your sleep.

His assumption was quickly confirmed when he walked into the main sitting area of the ship and saw you looking around with quite a confused expression.

However, it seemed you had heard him coming because you quickly spun around to face him, grabbing a nearby pipe that had fallen off his speeder. The Mandalorian almost tripped over his feet when you laughed at yourself after coming to the realization that you were safe on his ship.

"Oh, Lumpy, thank goodness it's only you. I was worried I had been taken by those horrible clones."

The Mandalorian shook his head. How was he supposed to tell you that if something happened to you while he could have been there to help you, hed never forgive himself? Thatd hed probably end up doing something very reckless and stupid because he now had to live in a universe you werent in anymore? It was my duty. Yeah, that ought to do it, now she knows you like her. Go me.

Your smile fell. "She told you to help me, didn't she? My Grandma?"

The bounty hunter remained silent, and you nodded.

"Of course she did."

"I think she knew it was coming, she told me before I left that I was to protect you. I hadn't realized she meant so soon."

You nodded again. "Well, nevertheless, I must thank you greatly, again, for this is now the second time you have saved my life."

It was quiet in the room for a minute, before you spoke up again. "You can drop me off wherever you'd like. I have a feeling I'll only get in your way if I stay. I don't want to be any trouble."

"You could never." I said that way too quickly. But it's true. How could something so innocent and gentle ever get in his way?

You smiled again, causing the butterflies in his tummy to start up again. "Even if I wasn't any trouble, I don't think I'd be much help either."

"What are you good at?" Smooth. Real smooth.

You thought for a moment before answering. "Not much. I can cook, clean, and I'm pretty good at mechanics. I used to fix a lot of pod racers and speeders at one of my older jobs. I can learn how to use them pretty quickly, too."

The mechanics was good, because it would allow the Mandalorian to have an excuse at letting you stay with him on the ship. "Well, if you'd like to stick with me, you can."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Nope. "Yeah."

"I won't be in your way?"

"Thats not possible."

"I still don't think I'll be much help to you."

"I won't ask you to do too much. Just maybe do some repairs on the ship while I'm retrieving a target and maybe be my quick getaway."

"I don't know Lumpy, I just don't think you're realizing what you're getting into. I'm not that great."

Oh, he knew alright. It was a terrible idea to bring you along with him, because only the maker knows all of the possible things that could go wrong. And there were quite a few, but they were all his fault because he gets so caught up in everything you do.

"You can stay."

You shook your head. "It's really whatever you want, Lumpy. This is your ship, I cant intrude anymore than I already have. I can't ask to stay with you, you've already done so much for me."

"Do you want to stay?"

The Mandalorian could not believe how much he wanted your answer to be yes. But, at the same time he could, because who wouldnt want you around? He knew, if you said yes, then you were staying, and that was it. If it was no, he would reluctantly yet whole-heartedly respect your wishes and help you start a good life somewhere else.

The bounty hunter let out a small sigh of relief as you quietly whispered, "Yes, I think so."

"Then stay with me."

You glanced up at him still with that look of uncertainty, which drew him closer to you. He took 3 steps forward, each bringing him closer and closer to you. So close you were standing practically chest to chest.

"Stay with me," he whispered. "Please?"

At first he wasnt sure if you heard him, since he knew that whispering under a mask cant exactly be easily understood, until you slowly nodded. "Okay."

The bounty hunter almost let out an enormous sigh of relief, but caught himself at the last second, nodding instead.

"Then it's decided."

After awkwardly standing there for 30 seconds, the Mandalorian cleared his throat.

"I have some clean clothes somewhere around here you can change into. When we get to Coruscant we can get you some new outfits."

You nodded once more. "Thank you, Lumpy."

The bounty hunter was silent as he walked down the hall to his small room. He noticed that you had made the bed, and more importantly had taken the medicine, which he was grateful for.

He went into the small chest at the foot of his bed and rummaged through it, looking for some clothes he thought might fit you. He didn't have many clothes anymore, since all he wears is his armour now.

But, he was able to find a shirt and a pair of pants at the bottom of the chest that looked to be relatively the same size as you. There was also a clean pair of boxers, but he decided he would leave it up to you if you wanted to where them. He wished he could smell them quickly to make sure they were in fact clean (he has no idea when these were washed), but he opted out of taking off the mask, just in case you came in.

He came back to see you sitting on top of the speeder waiting for him.

The Mandalorian handed you the clothes and pointed towards his room. "There's a bathroom right beside my room if you'd prefer that, or you can just change in my room."

You nodded and gave him a gentle smile as you turned to go change in the bathroom. As you were doing that the bounty hunter went back to go sit in the cockpit while he waited for you, and contemplated what he should do.

Theres now going to be an extra body sleeping in the ship, and there werent anymore rooms. He figured he could give you his room while he slept in the speeder or something. After all, hes slept in much worse. He could try finding another ship, but that would probably take too much time, and he wasnt too sure the money he had would be enough.

Hearing you enter the cockpit broke him out of his thoughts, causing him to look up at you. He smiled beneath his mask as he took in your look of wonder, your gaze being on what was outside the ship.

"Wow, I've never been in hyperspace before, you breathed out.

He nodded, recalling your childhood story on how youve been a slave your whole life.

"Actually, I've never been in space before. I've always been stuck on that stupid planet."

The Mandalorian thought for a moment. "Is there a place that you want to go?" He was curious, did you even know of anything outside that planet?

You took a minute to answer. "Well, in one of Grandma's stories she spoke of a planet so beautiful it almost didn't sound real. I'm not even sure if it is real. It was something like canoe.. or baboo... or maybe it was-"

"Naboo?"

Your eyes lit up with recognition. "Yeah, that's it! Wait, does that mean it's a real place?"

He chuckled quietly under his breath. "Yes it is."

"Wow," you sighed. "Grandma said it was the most beautiful place in the whole galaxy."

The Mandalorian turned in his chair to take a look at your full frame. Of course, these had to be some of his clothes. And of course, you had to look good in them. Really good. So good, he felt his throat close up and only let out a very embarrassing wheeze.

The bounty hunter cleared his throat, extremely grateful the mask could cover up just how red his face had gotten, then asked "Are there any other planets your Grandma told you about?" He mentally let out a sigh of relief in that you didnt seem to notice.

"Hmmmmm I can remember a few. Just a couple of days ago she told me about Scarif, which is also really beautiful, but its under Imperial control and theres no way you can go there. There was also Kashyyyk, although that one was told to me by a Wookiee I worked with, oh! There was-"

"Wait, you speak Wookiee?"

You shrugged. "I understand it much more than I am able to actually pronounce the words."

The Mandalorian nodded, when on the inside he felt shock. If you could speak Wookiee, then there definitely some other talents you had. There had to be, and the bounty hunter was ready to know all of them.

"Oh! There's Alderaan, and I remember there's a planet that's like a big swamp, but I can't remember it's name."

He nodded again. "That's Dagobah."

You looked back up at the stars, and the Mandalorian watched you with an amused expression. "How many planets are there? In the whole galaxy, I mean."

The bounty hunter stopped for a moment. "I think theres about 3 million planets we can live on in our galaxy."

He became amused with the shocked expression that took over your face. "Wow. And I've only been on one in my whole life."

Before he could stop himself, the bounty hunter stood up to face you and whispered "I'll take you to anywhere you want to go. Any place, any time." Oh for Petes sake, get a hold of yourself-

"Thank you Lumpy, but I'm not going to ask that of you. You just go where you need to, and Ill do my best to stay out of your way," you whispered back.

The Mandalorian shook his head. You could never be in my way.

---

About a day and a half later the Mandalorian parked his ship on one of the landing pads and turned towards you.

"I'm taking the bounty to an office about 3 blocks from here. It's connected to a restaurant called Nonchaus Pizza Dogs, which I never understood because the only food they sell stuff like burritos, but that's besides the point. If you need anything, I'll be there, but I need you to stay on the ship, just until I deliver the bounty."

"Okay, Lumpy. Do you know how long you'll be gone?"

The Mandalorian stood up and walked past the speeder, towards the target. "No more than 2 hours. After that I can take you around to buy some clothes."

The bounty hunter saw you nod your head out of the corner of his eye. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"Just stay hidden in the ship. I have to turn off all the power, so it may get a little cold in here. I would take you with me, but I have a feeling it'd be much safer for you if you stayed here."

He saw you nod once more. "Okay."

As he was on his way to untie the bounty, he noticed you went into his room in his peripherals. Curiosity took over him as he slowly stood up and followed you there.

When he got to his room, he leaned against the door frame as he observed you sitting in his bed reading. Recognition flooded his mind as he squinted at the cover of the book, realizing it was the one book he had actually enjoyed reading front to back. "Where'd you get that?"

You looked up at him and smiled. "It was on your dresser," He followed your finger as it pointed to a piece of furniture that was way too small to call it a dresser. An apologetic frown made its way onto your face as you had a thought. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone through your stuff-"

"No no, it's okay. Do you like reading?"

Your frown turned upside down instantly at that question. "Do I?!?" However, the more you thought about it, the more sorrowful you seemed to become, and a sad smile graced your features as you spoke. "Well, I really liked Grandma's stories, and I figured that if they had to be anything like that, they must be amazing. I've only read a few books in my life, and none of them have ever compared to hers. I'm still on the hunt."

The Mandalorian could see you visibly begin to get more upset the more you talked about your Grandma. "If you'd like we can get some books too while you pick some clothes."

You looked up at the bounty hunter, a melancholy smile still present, and he could feel his heart sink a little at your dampened mood. "Thank you, Lumpy."

When he saw you go back to your book, the Mandalorian took one last look back at you (still beautiful, even when upset), before he went to untie the bounty from his ship and deliver it to the client.

He grabbed another bowl of cold water and splashed it on his target's face; he did not want to carry him. At all.

For good measure, kicked the idiot in the stomach, then grabbed the collar of its shirt and stood it up. The client wanted it alive, but didn't say anything about the injuries. If he had to he could just say the guy put up a fight and it was necessary.

He untied it only from the rope that was attached to the ship, and loosened the ones wrapped around his ankles. After shoving it forward, the bounty hunter spoke in a very threatening voice. "Get moving."

The Mandalorian did his best to make the process go as quick and smooth as he as possible. He did not want to keep you in his ship alone and unprotected for longer than necessary. In only an hour and 15 minutes he managed to turn in his target (good riddance), retrieve his reward and obtain another bounty that he would get to after he made sure you had everything you needed.

When he walked back into his ship, he was relieved to see you fast asleep in his bed with the book laying open in your lap.

The bounty hunter gently kneeled next to the bed, dogeared the corner of the page you were on, placed the book on the nightstand, and, after taking a minute to admire the small smile adorning your face from the dream you were having, he rubbed your arm soothingly and whispered "Y/N."

You hummed, and he grinned as he watched your eyes open slowly.

"We gotta go get you some stuff now."

You looked at the clock next to your bed and whispered, "Wow, you were quick."

"I didn't want to keep you waiting long. Come on, let's go."

The Mandalorian got up and exited the room, and when he felt your presence behind him, he continued off the ship, making sure the hatch was closed and turned to face you.

"I'd ask where you want to start, but I have a feeling you have no idea."

You shook your head, confirming the bounty hunter's suspicion. "I just don't think I need much, only a few shirts and pants. I don't want to take up too much room on your ship."

"Okay, well then I have a better idea of where we should go."

"Better than Coruscant? For shopping? But look at all the stores." You emphasized your words by pointing to the hundreds of shops and businesses lit up with their advertisements plastered everywhere.

"I have a feeling that you're gonna like the clothes much better somewhere else."

You giggled at the situation as you re-entered the ship. "If you bring me to some planet filled with armour like yours, I think Im gonna pass."

The Mandalorian chuckled as he answered, "No nothing like that."

Unfortunately, for gas and travelling time purposes, it would take the bounty hunter a whole other day to travel to where he wanted to take you, but he had a feeling it would be worth it.

He noticed that you had finished the book way faster than he ever could, and went to his small storage compartment to grab you more.

When you finished the second book he had given you in just over an hour, the bounty hunter went looking in the very back of his ship. Amidst the pile of old food wrappers, papers of very old targets he kept when his hologram transmitter broke, spare parts he picked up wherever he found them, and many, many, many other things, he found a tabletop version of Dejarik.

The bounty hunter set it out on the top of the small table he had made for 2, and taught you the basics of the holochess game. The two of you spent at least 4 hours duelling at the game, with you snacking on some chips he found and the bounty hunter losing at 95% percent of the games. You cheered in victory at every win, but what seemed to make you laugh the most was when he just sat there in contemplation on what the hell he did so wrong to make him lose again.

He taught you the game hours ago and you were already better than him. But, he as not complaining at all because the friendly competition came with much laughter and many jokes. There were also questions you asked each other, but never that many.

After being in hyperspace for another 22 hours or so, the Mandalorian had finally arrived at the place you mentioned you wanted to see most: Naboo.

Before he entered the planet's atmosphere, he raced towards his room to retrieve you and show you where you were going. He couldn't wait another minute to see the reaction on your face.

When you entered the cockpit, the Mandalorian had a small smile on his face when he heard you gasp. "Wow, Lumpy, it's so... blue, and... green."

"It's Naboo."

The bounty hunter kept in his laugh as you whipped your head around to face him. "Naboo? We're going to Naboo?"

When he nodded, your smile grew tenfold. "Maker, we're going to Naboo!"

He sat back down in the chair to enter the atmosphere of Naboo. After a minute, when the ship was slowly descending onto a landing pad, the bounty hunter felt you wrap your arms around his neck to give him a hug from behind. It was difficult for him to concentrate on keeping the ship steady because all he could focus on was how you were so close to him, yet so far because of his stupid armour.

When you whispered "Thank you, Lumpy," the Mandalorian had to clear his throat to keep his voice from shaking so you wouldn't notice the effect you had on him.

"Of course." The bounty hunter landed his ship at a much slower pace than usual (he definitely was not trying to make the moment last as long as possible), and turned off all of the ship's systems. After he heard you exit the cockpit, he took a deep breath and followed you out, seeing you waiting by the closed ramp.

He grabbed his weapon and opened the hatch, letting the ramp go down so you two could exit.

While you were too busy looking at anything and everything your eyes landed on, the Mandalorian stuck to watching you look on with awe. He had never thought he could feel so happy, yet when he saw the look of excitement on your face, it was really hard to do anything but that. Every once in a while do a sweep to make sure no threats were near, but he mainly focused on you and how wonderful you were.

Before you went shopping for clothes, the Mandalorian brought you to a little inn where he bought a room. He didn't have the intention of taking a nap, however. The room included a bathroom, and that room included shower.

"I don't think we're going to stay very long, but these showers are much better than the one in my ship, so I figured we could get you some clothes after."

Even though these showers still weren't the greatest, they would hopefully make you feel less grimy, because he knew what it was like to get sand everywhere.

The bounty hunter waited patiently on the bed with his weapon in hand as you showered. He could hear you humming a tune to yourself, which had to be your favourite song because this was certainly not the first time he heard the soft melody pass your lips.

Your shower seemed to be on the longer side, but that was understandable. Who knows when your last proper clean was.

He heard the water shut off, and about 5 minutes later you emerged from the bathroom.

Nothing could have prepared the Mandalorian for what he saw next.

You walked out wearing the same clothes he had given you a few days prior, but this time, since your skin was a bit damp making the shirt cling to your figure, highlighting some features that were well hidden behind the baggy clothing.

Your wet hair was let down, framing your face in the most breathtaking way he had ever seen. Your skin glistened with some of the water that didn't get wiped off, and it looked even softer and smoother than it did before.

The dirt that covered your face was now gone, allowing the bounty hunter to perfectly see even the tiniest of details. The bags were still under your eyes, but weren't as prominent as before, probably from all of the sleep you got on his ship. There were a few freckles that he hadn't noticed before dotted around your face. Your eyebrows now had a defined shape since they weren't hidden from the dirt anymore, allowing your expressions to show even more emotion.

Your nose, jawline and cheekbones were more visible and prominent, defining your face in a whole different way. A very good way, he must say.

And, most importantly, you genuinely looked happier. He noticed that you still seemed melancholy, which was understandable, you had just watched your Grandma get shot. But that shower seemed to lighten you up; you stood taller, and carried yourself in a more confident manner.

The Mandalorian started tracing your jawline with his eyes and continuing down your neck, before he realized what he was doing and very quickly looked away. He did not want you to see him staring, completely forgetting that he was wearing a mask and you wouldn't see his eyes anyway.

He cleared his throat and stood up, looking through his pockets to make sure he brought money. He did.

"Wow, Lumpy, I don't think I've felt this clean in all my life. Didn't you say this was just a dingy motel bathroom? That was fantastic."

"Are you ready?"

"Is it okay if my hair is wet?"

The Mandalorian smiled softly under the mask. "Yes."

You nodded. "Then yes, I'm ready."

The bounty hunter lead you out of the motel room and towards the heart of the city. He grinned again as he saw you pause in his peripherals, admiring everything you saw. He turned to face you. "Are you coming?"

You snapped your head towards him, wearing an apologetic smile. Running to catch up with him, you answered, "Yes, I'm sorry."

He chuckled. "You've got nothing to apologize for, I know you're excited."

"Where are we going first?"

"There's a market a few streets from here. We can buy you clothes, and some food for the ship to. And I believe there's a book store just down that way," he stated as he pointed towards his left.

After he saw your nod of agreement, the Mandalorian stayed silent. He found himself enjoying the walking in comfortable silence, though he knew it wouldn't last long. As soon as you got to the little market, the bounty hunter heard your gasp.

"Oh my goodness, there's so many people! And there's so much stuff! Where do I start?" When you looked at him with one of your heart stopping smiles, the Mandalorian had to clear his throat before he responded.

"It seems to go in a circle. Pick a side and we'll make our way around."

You giggled. "Okay."

You chose to go to the left first, opting to make the circle go clockwise.

You looked to the first tent, which had many different types of jewellery covering each of the four tables. He noticed the woman behind the tables was wearing something much different to the simple robes and plain dresses everyone else was wearing.

She wore a bright red two-piece with gold accents, the skirt pooling on the ground. Attached to the neck and waist of the top were small, yet many diamonds and jewels. A red shawl draped over her shoulders to match the outfit, with gold lacing the bottom.

Her middle length hair matched her brown eyes, and her skin was tan from all of the sun that shines in Naboo. She was taller, and the bounty hunter could see beneath her skirt one of her feet poked out, displaying a short red and gold heel.

The necklace she wore seemed to be made of pure diamonds, as did her earrings. He could feel your nerves from a mile away. He wanted to pull you into his arms and assure you that no one else's beauty could even come close to yours. However, he could understand why you would feel intimidated. She looked to be dressed like royalty (which is strange, why would royalty be selling cheap jewellery in a tiny flea market?). You probably thought she looked like a goddess because you had never seen an outfit so... expensive.

"Look, one of her earrings looks like it costs more than my entire life. They're beautiful. She's beautiful. Look at her hair, it's like the wind is bowing before her feet, it's so magical. Wow." The Mandalorian didn't think you realized that you were whispering these things out loud, but he smiled nonetheless. Bingo.

When he laughed through his nose at your words, you turned him and gave him a confused stare. "What? I'm serious, Lumpy, look at her hair! The wind is just" as you were saying this you were making motions with your hands and hair, making it look like it was flowing beautifully like in those unrealistic commercials you had seen in the bar at times to emphasize your point.

He laughed again before he gently nudged you toward the woman. "Go on, I'll be back here if you need me."

The Mandalorian watched with amusement as you slowly made your way up to the woman behind the small tables.

"Hello."

She looked up and beamed. "Hi, how can I help you?"

You froze for a minute, which made the bounty hunter's eyebrows furrow. He was about to step up and encourage you it was okay before he heard you say, "You're beautiful."

The girl giggled and replied, "Thank you, but I don't think I can compare to you."

You gave her a look of bewilderment, which made the Mandalorian almost laugh out loud. "Me?"

"Yes, you! You don't have to wear fancy clothes to look nice! You should see me in the morning when I first wake up, my hair's all over the place, my eyes are all crusty and, you know that bit of that dry saliva on the corner of your mouth? Yeah, that's me every morning."

You laughed and responded with "Can't be as bad as smelling like old people all the time and having sand down your bra literally every minute ever. And that sand goes everywhere."

The girl smiled and stuck out her hand. "I'm Hana."

You grinned and took her hand, making the Mandalorian happy you made a friend.

"Y/N."

"What brings you to Naboo?"

You glanced back at the Mandalorian, which yet again made him feel weak in the knees (he's gotta find a way to fix that), then answered Hana.

"I need some new clothes. All of my old ones got wrecked."

The girl's face lit up like she had just won the lottery. "Oooooo, girl shopping. D'you mind if I tag along? There's not much going on here anyways."

You nodded furiously, which made Hana laugh again. "I have no idea what I'm doing. Oh, wait." You turned back to the bounty hunter and asked him, "Lumpy, can Hana help me pick out some new clothes?"

He gave you a small thumbs up, and felt the butterflies flutter when you giggled at his actions.

The Mandalorian followed you around for 2 hours after that. He kept his distance, and was constantly on high alert. His eyes kept sweeping over the entire area to ensure there was no danger, though he did find himself getting distracted by many of the things that you did:

The look of awe with every new tent you approached. The look of surprise, yet giddiness you felt when Hana linked your arms together (he made a mental note that you liked this, since you seemed to always go back to this position with her). The little scrunch your nose did every time you saw a piece of clothing you didn't like. The small laugh you did when Hana made a joke, no matter how corny and terrible it was. The annoyed glances you gave when your hair flew into your face from a particularly harsh gust of wind, and the look of wonder you gave Hana when you asked how the wind made her look better and you a child that's rolled around in a sandstorm for the better part of 6 days.

Each and every small quirk made his heart swell that much more. When you put back every item you thought cost too much, thinking the bounty hunter didn't notice. (He did.) The look of disbelief on how delicious the food you ate for lunch was, even though Hana kept insisting it wasn't even that good. The look of surprise you gave when a little girl in a purple dress came up to you and gave you a flower. The small tear that ran down your cheek when you bent down and gave her a tight hug. The laughter that was contagious when a small band came to the market and Hana taught you how to dance one of the traditional Naboo dances.

The thing that the Mandalorian will never, ever forget was when you tried on a dress.

"No, Hana, that's way too much."

"Just try it on, just for fun." Both he and Hana could see how you kept glancing back at it, a look of wanting upon your face every time your eyes made contact with the dress.

Reluctantly you went behind a privacy screen to get changed, and the Mandalorian turned to Hana. "What are you doing down here."

He knew that she wasn't just some pedestrian trying to sell some old things for money, and he was curious as to why on earth a person of hierarchy would be down here.

Hana shrugged. "My sister's the queen, and I get sick of all the prim and proper bull everyone expects me to do. So, my Grandma and I make jewellery and once a month I come out here to give them to anyone that wants them. Normally I would wear less noticeable clothing, but... I don't know."

After a minute, she raised an eyebrow. "And what are you doing here? This doesn't seem like your kind of scene."

The bounty hunter's voice got quiet. She was right, a Mandalorian is never usually even seen with a person, let alone following one like a lost puppy. "She said she'd never been, and she really wanted to come here. Her Grandma used this place as the paradise in her stories."

Hana nodded, and seemed hesitant as she asked her next question. "And why is she with you?"

"There was an attack in her hometown, and I got her out."

Hana contemplated her next words before deciding to just bite the bullet. "Doesn't seem like the Mandalorian type to save a damsel in distress."

"She's much more than a damsel in distress."

"And that's why you won't let her go?" The bullet has now been bitten.

Before the bounty hunter could respond, you stepped from behind the screen. The Mandalorian did a double take, and he thought he was going to pass out. You seemed shy and uncertain, but man oh man, did you look angelic.

The dress was what seemed to be (Y/F/C), because this colour was a common occurrence in most of the clothing you picked. The dress was fitted at the top, hugging you in all the right places (though he could tell that the front went a bit lower than you were used to). There were thin straps on your shoulders that held the dress up, and the diamonds that covered the top portion sparkled in the sunlight.

The bottom portion of the dress was made of a material the bounty hunter had no clue of what the name was, but it looked silky smooth and was loose, flowing all the way to the ground in the most elegant way. Your hair had long since dried and curled just a bit, framing your face gracefully.

When you turned around the Mandalorian gasped so hard he started coughing, as he noticed there was a slit on one side of the dress that went up to your mid thigh, and your back was completely exposed. He saw the wound from the shot you got a few days ago was starting to look less red and angry, which relieved him quite a bit.

When you turned back around to face him, he was speechless. No amount of words could ever describe how stunning you looked to him. He was grateful when Hana spoke up because he could not.

"Y/N... oh my god, you look fantastic! Look at you!" she squealed and ran up to you, playing with your hair and asking you to turn a few times, showering you with compliments and oooos and aaaahs while you just giggled and shrugged, looking as though you didn't deserve her praise.

"I don't know... it seems a bit much. What do you think, Lumpy?"

Well, shoot.

"Uhm, uh- I-I-It looks- It looks, good, yeah, it looks good." Maker, I stutter now too?

The Mandalorian could see as Hana rolled her eyes and mocked him. "Looks goo- Y/N, you could outshine the Queen, oh my god."

"Stop it, I could not."

Oh yes you could, and the bounty hunter knew it. If only he could come up with the words to tell you too, but instead he was a blubbering, and quite frankly embarrassing mess.

"Yes you could, now lets go." Hana demanded as she pulled you by your elbow.

"Wha- go where? I have to take the dress off."

She snickered. "Just wear it for now. We need to show you off." She looked to the woman behind the table selling it. "Aurora, can she wear the dress around town? We'll bring it back."

When Aurora nodded, Hana linked your arms again and started pulling you towards her tent. "Come with me, I have the perfect necklace that would match."

The Mandalorian waited 30 seconds after you left before walking towards Aurora. She was an older woman, with olive wrinkled skin and grey hair pulled back into a braid.

"How much for the dress?"

"What currency do you have?"

The bounty hunter emptied his pockets and looked at what was left in his hand. "All I've got left is Corellian Credits."

"I'll give it to you for 1000."

"1000! That's outrageous, my armour costs less than that-"

"1000 credits. These clothes were made for the Queen, and she simply doesn't want them anymore."

"I hardly think the Queen is in need of any more money-"

"1000 credits, boy. No more, no less."

The bounty hunter sighed and looked down at the ground, thinking. He just got the reward of 2500 from the last target, and he figured if he got the next job done quick enough he could fix his ship with the reward from the next bounty. He'd need to be careful with his spending on fuel for the ship when he went to pick some up.

After a minute of staring at the ground, cursing the woman who sat behind the table with a nasty little smirk, he looked up and saw you, giggling and twirling in the dress, looking the happiest he thinks he's ever seen you.

He hung his head low as he started counting out the money, knowing full well that if that dress was 10 000 credits he'd still find a way to make it yours. He counted his blessings though because he was very thankful with was not 10 000 credits.

The Mandalorian sighed again and gave her the correct amount.

"Thank you," she said after placing the money in her little tin and grinning at him with a knowing smile.

He responded only by getting as far away from Aurora as possible before he made a rash decision, and instead chose to focus on you under Hana's tent. His heart beat a bit faster when he saw the smile on your face after Hana did indeed find a matching necklace, a pair of earrings and a clip pinned to the top of your head.

When you noticed the Mandalorian walking towards you, you giggled and ran up to him. "Lumpy, look what Hana gave to me! Aren't they nice?"

He hummed in response, allowing you to turn back to the woman in red, your back nearly pressed against the bounty hunter's chest. He did his very best to stay still because he knew if you got any closer, you would be able to hear his heart beating out of his chest. "Oh my goodness, are you sure Hana? This seems like too much."

She dismissed your words instantly with a flick of her hand. "Please, I made them to give to someone, and they look perfect on you."

"I bought the dress," he mumbled, hoping if he said it quietly enough you wouldn't be able to hear him.

To his misfortune you totally did hear him and whipped around to meet the Mandalorian's gaze so quickly you tripped over your own feet. He reached out and caught you by your hips swiftly, cursing himself and trying not to pay too much attention to what he did as you whispered, "What?"

He swallowed, steadying you as your arms rested on his shoulders and he repeated, a bit louder this time, "I bought the dress."

He frowned when you started shaking your head. "No, no Lumpy I don't need the dress, go get your money back, really, I don't need it-"

"Y/N."

Tears started trickling down your face as you continued, not hearing the Mandalorian in your ramble. "- it's just a silly dress, I probably won't even wear it that much so it'll be a waste to buy it, please, go get your money back-"

"Y/N." He kept his voice gentle, but still pressed on.

"-let me go get changed, and I'll put it back on the table-"

"Y/N!" He cupped your face with both of his hands, effectively silencing your ramble. He wiped your tears with his thumbs as he whispered, "The dress is yours."

He sighed in relief as you went on your tiptoes and wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly hugged him. He snaked his arms around your waist and squeezed lightly as you mumbled a "Thank you."

"Of course." He replied in a voice so soft he though you might not have heard him, but the Mandalorian realized you did as you squeezed just a bit tighter.

When you stepped back, the Mandalorian couldn't help but follow you for a split second before retreating, not wanting to let go of you just yet. He held himself back though, because this was not the time, nor the place.

"Hana, thank you so much for your help."

The girl being spoken of shook her head. "It was fun. I have to go for a few minutes, but I think you need to see something before you go. Just walk down that street for a few minutes and you'll find it. Also, don't leave without saying goodbye!"

She ran down an alleyway in the opposite direction that she pointed, and you linked arms with the Mandalorian as you pulled him along. "Come on!"

He was glad you were feeling happy again, because he couldn't stand the thought of you being sad, especially since he was the main cause.

The walk you shared was silent, but comfortable as you enjoyed the presence of one another and the noise of busy people from all around.

---

Hana was right. Not even 10 minutes of walking down the direction she pointed the alley ended, and it opened up to a massive field, filled with grass and flowers of all different colours. The field seemed to go on forever to the left and right, but straight ahead, what looked to be about a mile away, were massive waterfalls.

The Mandalorian smiled lightly beneath the mask as he heard your gasp of excitement, "Oh, Lumpy, look!"

He lead you forward, towards the water, but kept his eyes on you to take in the look on your face. The pure joy that emanated off you was contagious, and it made him want to scoop you up and carry you away into the sunset forever.

The sun did nothing but damage to him to make him sweat in his armour, but it made your skin glow and your hair shine, so he was not complaining at all.

When you were close to the edge of the water you ran forward, and the Mandalorian watched as you knelt down and put your hands in. You giggled as you did so and looked up at him.

"It's much colder than I expected."

"It's a lot of water, and there's not that much to heat it up." The Mandalorian grinned under his mask as he got an evil idea and slowly bent down, dipping one of his hands in the water.

You laughed again. "Okay, smarty pants, but just so you know-" you were effectively cut off with a gasp as the Mandalorian reached his hand in the water and splashed a small bit onto your face.

He actually laughed out loud, and really hard too as you tried to look at him angrily while wiping your face.

"Hey! That's no fair! It's not like I can even get you back, your protected by your armour!"

He laughed even more as you still splashed some water onto him, satisfied that you at least managed to get him even though it had no effect whatsoever.

The two of you laughed some more while splashing each other, and you pointing out even the smallest of details that made you excited.

The bounty hunter sat back on the grass as he witnessed you gasp again and run over to one of those gigantic rhino things. He was shocked when it let you run straight up to it and start petting it. You giggled as you gently stroked it's head, humming the same tune you did in the shower earlier.

The Mandalorian was feeling very conflicted. As much as he wanted you to stay with him, he knew that you belonged somewhere much nicer. You deserved a place that gave you unlimited happiness without the fear of getting hurt.

This was a very nice place, and now that you made a friend, he knew that you could stay with Hana. She could take care of you much better than he ever could. She was royalty, after all, and she could provide so much more.

He knew that was what Hana was implying when she was asking her questions earlier, and it made sense. It didn't seem fair to make you come along with him to a war zone when you could be safe amongst new family and friends.

And she was hinting that it wouldn't be a bad thing if she stayed here instead.

As much as he hated it, he knew that this was the better option for you. So that's what he offered.

"Do you like it here?"

After you nodded in confirmation, the Mandalorian continued.

"Maybe you should... stay here."

You snapped your head around to face him, about to interrupt him right there, but the bounty hunter only pressed on. "You would be much happier here, and much safer, and you have Hana now, you could stay with her. She can help you live the life you were supposed to live, not one filled with the constant fear of 'am I going to make it through today.'" He paused, catching his breath. "I wish I could make this your everyday, but it can't be. It's going to be dangerous and serious, and not beautiful and safe, and-"

"Lumpy, stop!" That shut him up instantly, but he needed to convince you to stay here. It was for the better. "I'm not leaving you! I love it here, but I don't think I could live like this everyday! I like the excitement that comes with you, the adventure, the many places I'm gonna get to see! I know it's going to get rough at times, and we're both probably going to get hurt at some point, but I don't care. Unless... you want me to stay because you want me gone?"

He shook his head quickly, "No, it's not that I don't want you with me, I do, but-"

"Then it's settled." For emphasis you took his masked head between your hands and pressed your forehead against his. Not caring about the tears running down your cheeks again, you continued. "You asked me to stay with you. I'm staying."

The bounty hunter started shaking his head again, feeling the after begin to pool in his eyes as well. "I don't want you to get hurt," he mumbled quietly so voice wouldn't crack.

"I think it would hurt a lot more if you left without me."

The Mandalorian sighed. He was about to begin protesting again when you whispered, "Please, Lumpy."

Why did you have to be so stubborn? Why did you have to be so good? Why did you have to make him want to give you everything you've ever wanted, and more? Why did you have to make it impossible to say no to?

"Okay." The smile that you gave him in return was already making him agree with his decision.

"Thank you."

The high you gave him would have been bone crushing if he wasn't head to toe in bullet proof armour, and it seemed you had noticed that too.

---

"Grandma was right, it really does feel lumpy."

When you walked back to the little market, the bounty hunter saw Hana standing in her tent again. Her face lit up as she saw you walking towards her. "Well, did you see it?"

You nodded in excitement, "We did, and it was amazing!"

She beaned and walked around the table. "I'm glad you thought so."

Your smile had started to go a little flat as you walked up to her and gave her a hug. "Thank you so much for everything you've done, but we have to go now."

The Mandalorian watched as she nodded and gave you a squeeze back. "Of course. Please come back and visit, I don't have too many normal people in my life." You giggled as you stepped back and wiped a stray tear from your face.

He held out his elbow to you, which you gladly hooked your arm through. He gave a curt nod towards Hana, causing her to nod back in reply, and gave a small wave to you as you started to walk back to the ship.

The walk back was once again silent, but the bounty hunter had a feeling it was because you had been reflecting on your day. "Thank you for taking me here, Lumpy. It truly was one of the best days of my life."

He hummed back as you climbed up the ramp to his ship and went into his room.

The bounty hunter assumed it was because you were putting all the clothes you bought away to be washed, and started up the ship. He heard the door open as you stepped in, and could see you admiring the view as the ship rose up into space.

When the bounty hunter put the ship into hyperspace, there was silence for a few minutes.

It was more than likely because you both came to the realization that your lives were never going to be the same ever again. This had happened to both of you, a long time ago.

The only difference is that this time, your lives were changing for the better.

#mandalorianxreader #mandalorianimagines #mando #mandoxreader #starwars #starwarsimagines #babyyoda #pleaseloveme #pleasereadmystory #themandalorian

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thenovelartist · 6 years

Text

Debts on the Battlefield

This is the last prize for my TV Show contest going to @serenepy who wanted Adrienette and Mistaken Identity. After a few tries, I came up with this. I hope you enjoy it!

It all started when her parents were assassinated.

The neighboring country’s king swore they didn’t commit the crime. However, the evidence disproved his claim, and Marinette watched her father’s second-in-command declare war on the other country.

To say she wasn’t terrified of the thought of murder and bloodshed and war coming up to her kingdom would be an outright lie. This was her kingdom. If she were the heir, she would have gone on to negotiate with the neighboring king and try to uncover the truth. Unfortunately, even as the only child born to Queen Sabine, Marinette was not the true heir because she was a female, and the line passed down solely to sons.

So, she did the only thing she saw fit to do: join the military. She had been mocked at first, but when one of the commanders who had advanced high up the ranks spotted her, he enabled her to join.

“I remember you, your royal highness,” he commented with a smile. “You’re a crafty sort of girl. You were always able to slip around the house without anyone knowing. They called you Little Lucky Ladybug for good reason.”

And that was how she got her nickname. It wasn’t for two months that everyone fighting for her kingdom knew the spy that went by ‘Ladybug’. She was a valuable asset to the war.

Then came the dreaded day that she found herself caught up in a battle. It was in one of her kingdom’s towns, one that lay on the outskirts. Most of the town had evacuated, but for some, they had no where else to go but wait out the fight.

Marinette was forced to do the same.

She found refuge in a house close enough for her to see the fighting. Despite the queasiness in her stomach, she watched the battle. She watched as things exploded and guns went off and smoke billowed upward from the streets of the town. People were screaming; people were dying.

It was with a heavy heart Marinette watched the opposing forces win.

As the smoke cleared, it allowed her to see her army fall back, grabbing all the supplies they could and running in the cover the smoke provided. Those men would live to fight another day, and for that she was thankful. But when the smoke cleared completely, it allowed her to see the carnage in the streets, proving to her that there were many men who wouldn’t make it back home. Furthermore, this town that had once been hers was no longer.

She made it a habit to hold back her tears, but for today, she allowed herself to cry.

It was only once she was able to forcefully swallow the tears did she realize the front door of the house burst open. Her heart was pounding inside her chest as she froze instinctually.

Get up! She mentally chided. Move!

But it was too late. By the time she found the strength to stand, soldiers burst into the second story room, guns pointed at her.

Her only option was to hold up her hands in surrender.

…

He shouldn’t be here. If his father knew he was here, he’d have an absolute fit and likely punish Adrien as though he was a teenager instead of a man nearly twenty-one. But if his father was going to willingly go to war like this against Adrien’s adamant council, then defying his father it was.

Adrien roamed the streets of the town his kingdom had just taken over. He didn’t wear the uniform of a soldier, instead wearing plain clothes to blend into the surroundings. He wasn’t completely insane, after all. He was a hidden soldier, one that made shots from the rooftops and scoped out the best way to win against the enemy.

The moment a woman’s scream reached his ears, he instinctively looked up. Soldiers from his own kingdom were man-handling a woman, throwing her to the ground outside a house. They were yelling something, but at that point, Adrien didn’t care. The men had orders to not harm women and children. Even in this time of war, Adrien would ensure to uphold their honor.

Before one of the soldiers could strike the female, Adrien grabbed him, forcing him off his feet and disarming him. “What do you think you’re doing?” Adrien challenged.

Adrien felt the two other men point their guns at him while the man on the ground looked blankly up at him. With a scowl, Adrien threw the gun back at the man.

Adrien scowled. “Where is your honor, soldier? You don’t touch civilians, no matter which side they belong to.”

With that, he turned to offer a hand to the woman on the ground. Her wide-eyed gaze was mixed fear and intrigue. Adrien shot her a smile he hoped was charming before reaching his hand out to offer assistance. “I apologize on their behalf.”

She remained silent as she hesitantly took his hand and allowed him to assist her in standing.

She had beautiful blue eyes and hair like a raven’s feathers. Young, youthful face. A stunning beauty. He grinned, earnestly this time. “Was this your home?”

“No,” she admitted. “I was passing through and hid before I got caught in the crossfires.”

Poor girl. Yet, her voice held a stubborn courage underneath her fear. “May I then suggest running away from the fighting so as not to get caught again.”

“Understood,” she said, pulling her hand from his. “And thank you.”

With that, the girl spun around and scampered off.

Adrien watched her for a moment before turning back to glare at his men. “Listen carefully,” he warned, tugging out his pocket watch engraved with the kingdom crest. The men instantly stiffened and straightened. “Do not harass the enemy’s civilians. They already think lowly of us. Don’t give them any more reason to hate us.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

…

It had been a month since Marinette had been saved from her certain entrapment by an extremely handsome young man. At the time, she had been carrying enough notes on her to have her captured as a hostage. She swore that if she ever got the opportunity to repay her debt to him, she’d do it in a heartbeat. Never once did she worry about forgetting his face. She would never forget those kind, green eyes or that mess of blonde hair on his head or that genuine smile.

It was after a battle that she saw him again.

He was in a town among the bodies of many people, both soldiers and civilians.

She would have to make up time later, but for now, she helped him off the ground, propped him upright against a building, then scavenged the area for anything she could find to wrap his head wound.

There was bullet-riddled laundry hanging about that would have to do.

“Well, we meet again,” he said, his smile lopsided and eyes halfway opened as he watched her rip apart the fabric into bandages.

Her heart skipped a beat. He remembered her? “It seems so,” she said with a grin.

He hummed, then remained silent as she wrapped his wound.

“Thank you,” he said once she finished tying off the strips. “I find myself deeply in your debt.”

She blushed lightly. “No. You saved me from those soldiers. This is me repaying my debt to you.”

His smile turned roguish, which only made him more handsome. “I don’t agree. You’ve exceeded paying off what little debt you were in.”

Even though she’d have to scold herself later for being caught up here, letting her heart run wild for a moment, she shot him another grin while shaking her head. “Not by my thoughts.”

“Well, then,” he said, and she knew by that gleam in his eye that she was in trouble. “I’ll just hope that I get once last chance to free myself of this debt you have placed on me, whether you agree or not.”

She should get out of here before she gave into the will to continue flirting with a man she didn’t know the name of. That was already scandalous of her, but it was particularly offensive in the middle of a war. She forced herself to stand. “Then I hope that our next meeting will be under more pleasurable circumstances.”

The smile he gave her as she ran off would come back to haunt her for weeks.

…

He counted himself lucky beyond belief. He was supposed to be marching around the town, trying to scope out the battlefield. In his down-dressed state, he was able to walk straight past soldiers without any issue. He had to hold back his smug grin.

And that’s when he saw her.

Gleefully grinning, Adrien slipped around the crowds of people so he could be in front of her path. “Why, would you look at that?”

He startled her, and it hurt his heart to see the sudden fear of her realizing her path was blocked. The way she looked up at him, with wide-eyes full of fear and stance prepped to run, it was clear she was skittish. If it was from war, then he could do nothing but feel guilty. But if it was from his men attacking her, then he’d swear vengeance.

However, she relaxed, her hand over her chest probably to calm her racing heart. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Forgive me,” he said earnestly. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No. I’m just not used to being approached.”

He grinned. “Are you unused to men calling for your attention? I don’t believe that. A lovely girl such as yourself? You must have had many a man dropping at your feet before the war.”

Where those words came from, he didn’t know, but the blush on her cheeks as well as the skeptical smile was invaluable. “Careful, you sliver-tongued devil.”

He chuckled. “Forgive me. I can’t help myself. Nor can I stop myself from asking this question that has been on my mind since the day we meet.”

Her smile fell and brow knit in worry. He forced his smile to stay on his face even though he hated causing her guard to come rising up again like this. “Oh?”

“May I be so bold as to ask your name?”

Slowly, her shoulders relaxed and her smile returned. “Marinette.”

He tested the word on his tongue and very much liked the way it felt. “Well then, Marinette.” He reached for her hand to bestow a kiss on her knuckles. “What a pleasure meeting you officially.”

With a giggle, she tugged her hand away. “We have not met officially,” she teasingly scolded. “For I don’t know your name.”

Heat rose to his cheeks surprisingly quickly. “Ah, yes. What an idiot I am. My name is Adrien.”

Before she could respond, the clock chimed the hour, and he realized he needed to get back.

“Forgive me,” he said, bowing before her. “But I actually have somewhere I have to be.”

“As do I,” she said, taking a step back. “But it was such a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you, Marinette. I do hope to see you again.”

She gave him a smile before scurrying off into town. As he was leaving, he sent up a prayer that she would be getting out of town as quickly as she could. He didn’t want his Marinette caught in the cross-fires.

…

Her kingdom was losing the battle. They were up against an equally skilled army. The issue was they were much larger than their own.

That, and they had Chat Noir.

Marinette had been transporting a warning to all the squadrons all over her kingdom informing them about the man once caught in black leather taking shots from a high ground. It was as though he knew the terrain, knew the field, knew how their armed forces would be organized.

And that meant they were in deep trouble.

Marinette found herself caught in the cross-fires once again. She had been delivering messages about this Chat Noir figure to the troops stationed here, only for the opposing army to spring an attack on them.

Not wanting to be caught anywhere near the general’s house, Marinette scampered for another cover spot. Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d be able to get out of the town completely. There were many people unprepared for the attack here, all running around frantically while trying to escape the city. In the commotion, she slipped down an alley way, only to run into a figure in a black leather vest.

She looked up, only to come face to face with Adrien.

His eyes widened upon seeing her. “What are you still doing here? Get out of the town.”

“I could ask the same for you,” she countered, holding tightly to the hand he grabbed as he pulled her along out of the city.

“Wrong place, wrong time,” was all the answer he gave.

“You and me both.”

They escaped the alley, only to skid to a halt upon seeing several of the opposing army’s men standing there, guns in hand.

One spotted them and raised to fire.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Adrien shoved her back into the alley just as the shot rang out. Marinette squeaked at the sound, sadly accustomed to it but not of it being so close.

“Run!”

So she did. As fast as she could, her hand in his, she ran, weaving through the town buildings with ease. But just as she turned the corner, she slid to a stop upon seeing even more soldiers. She ducked into the closest open building, dragging Adrien in behind her. He quickly shut the door, just as the soldiers started shouting and gunfire went off.

“Upsta—” She never finished that word and instead gasped at the sight of blood staining his shirt.

He looked at her, then down at his shoulder. His brow furrowed as he tugged at the cloth. “They got me.”

“We have to get the bullet out,” Marinette said.

He frowned at her. “And you know how to do that?”

She would love to say that she could confidently, that she personally did it before when she spent the first month of the war helping at a hospital while other nurses were being assembled. “I’ve assisted in the procedure and seen it done many times.”

His brow furrowed, questions clear on his face. But he didn’t voice them. “What do you need?”

…

Adrien was not looking forward to this. Once before, did he have to get a bullet taken out of his leg, but that was the extent of his major injuries. He could have waited for the battle to be over and his own army’s medical staff patch him up, however he knew they would be busy as is. And as Marinette listed off the things she needed, marching around the surprisingly full house with a determined expression, his confidence in her grew.

Once they collected everything they needed, Marinette instructed Adrien to lay down on the bed upstairs. He stripped out of his vest and shirt before he did. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a slight dusting of pink on her cheeks. He didn’t know what to think of it, but he wanted to be flattered by it.

For the next several minutes, he was biting down on a rag while she dug the lead bullet from his shoulder and sewed up the wound. It was about as painful as he remembered it being.

However, the biggest pain of all was being shot by one of his own men. He supposed that was the price for trying to protect a civilian.

“Thank you,” he said once she was bandaging him up yet again.

“You have to stop getting injured when I’m around,” she said. He got the pleasure of learning her eyes sparkled when she teased.

“I’d love to,” he said. “Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to happen for the foreseeable future.”

She shook her head, but the smile she wore was one of amusement.

“I can’t help but notice,” he began, unable to help himself, “that I seem to cross paths with you in the middle of these battles.”

Her expression fell as her eyes locked on his.

“I…” she began, struggling with her words. “I have family and friends everywhere,” she eventually said. “But I’m as shocked as you are that you’re in these battles constantly.”

He forced a grin when he really wanted to cringe. “I… I’m documenting the battles,” he answered, thinking that it was a halfway decent excuse.

“Oh,” was all Marinette said as she tied off his bandages.

He had to think of something quick to change the subject. “Sorry for asking,” he said. “It just seemed odd that such a lovely young woman like yourself happened to be in the middle of battles. Not that I don’t love running into you; I would just prefer them being under much better circumstances.”

A lovely rosy hue spread across her cheeks, and he couldn’t help but feel warm knowing he caused that lovely look on her. Slowly, she ducked her head, a smile on her face. “Flatterer.”

He grinned. “Hardly.” The scary thing was that he meant it. Here he was, Prince of the Papillion kingdom, flirting with a commoner girl of the opposing kingdom. She was beautiful; that he wasn’t lying about. And kind. And had a lovely smile.

She snorted, turning away.

Despite knowing he should be out there, it seemed he was trapped here until the battle was over. His own fault for wanting to clear out the civilians. He told the general not to pull such a barbaric move, attacking a full town, but even though he was the prince, the generals swore they knew better. Today, they would have to serve without their eyes in the sky. It seemed fair to Adrien. At least, that was what he told himself so he would feel less guilty in the pleasure he took being trapped here with Marinette.

…

She was terrified. And that was an understatement. She’d been caught by the opposing army. She listened to the creak of the enclosed cart, the lock and chains on the outside making plenty of noise with every step the horses took. There were a couple army officials in the cart with her, all ones she’d been meeting with before the camp was raided.

What they were going to do, she didn’t know. So to keep the thoughts at bay, she thought of her kingdom. And when that got too hard, she thought of Adrien and his smile as he told her to stay safe as they last parted ways.

“I’ll find you again once the war is over,” he’d said with a wink. “Mark my words on that.”

With a sigh, Marinette forced everything out of her head. Apparently, even dashingly handsome, green-eyed blondes made her heart hurt too much.

…

“Father, we took the kingdom.”

Even though Adrien grinned for his father, he did not feel happy about it. He could only think of the civilians caught in the crossfires, of the towns he’d assisted evacuating when the fighting happened. His thoughts wondered to a certain Marinette and her bright smile, appearing in the battlefields. She wasn’t the only young woman running for her life from the war—there had to be people younger and far older than her running for their lives—but she was the only one that came to the forefront of his mind.

“Good,” was all his father said. “I hope this serves as a lesson to anyone else who dares to accuse us falsely.”

Adrien’s stomach dropped. He didn’t like his father’s methods. He felt them flawed. They should have gone to the kingdom with white flags raised and assisted them in discovering who the true assassins were. That would have been far more beneficial for both of them.

“We will absorb their kingdom into ours,” his father said. “They are small, as are we. We will be a stronger power together.”

Adrien simply nodded. “What will you do with the war prisoners?”

Gabriel paused. “I suppose we will release them,” he said. “No need to make any more of an enemy with the new part of our kingdom. But document them all first so that they have records against them already. If there is an uprising they are a part of, then they will be tried.”

Adrien nodded. “Yes, father.”

“And I will have you oversee it,” his father continued. “I’ll be far too busy with other matters to oversee something so trivial.”

“Yes, father. I understand.”

…

Marinette may have hated liars, but right now, it was best to tell herself she wasn’t completely terrified that she might just die.

She, along with all the other prisoners of war, were to be documented as potential threats, meaning that if they ever made a wrong move, they’d likely be hung.

The men brought the prisoners out in several small groups. They were warned against acting out, even under the threat of the Prince of Papillion being there and able to give the order of them being hung on the spot. Marinette hoped for the sake of them all making it out alive that everyone would cooperate and the officials would be merciful.

The soldiers made their way through the rows of cells, meaning Marinette was one of the last to be taken out. And as the only woman, she was taken out alone.

She had to squint at the sudden bright daylight, and she cursed the sunshine. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but once they did, her gut sank.

Because Adrien stood there in his royal garb, proving he was the prince overseeing everything.

She watched his expression shift to one of horror. She shoved down her emotions and begged her eyes to stay dry. She had to pretend it didn’t feel like betrayal that the man she remembered fondly on the battlefield happened to be the prince of the kingdom responsible for murdering her parents.

She had been the Princess of Coccinelle; she would stand with her head high, chin raised, back straight. She would not cower.

“State your name,” the recorder asked.

“Princess Marinette Dupain of the Coccinelle Kingdom.”

Everyone froze, particularly Adrien.

The recorder was the first to move, ready to write the name down in the book.

But Adrien’s arm shot out, covering the page before the man could touch the pen to the paper.

“Your royal highness,” Adrien addressed, bowing before her. “I would like to give my deepest apologies for the treatment you have received. Should you agree, I wish to offer you a stay here at Castle Papillion, for there are many matters I would like to discuss with you.”

Curious, she rose a brow. “What matters do we have to discuss? You are the ruler of my kingdom now, are you not? That is what this war was about.”

He looked hurt at her words. As he should be. “The first matter I wish to discuss being a long list of apologies for our transgressions against you,” Adrien began, his words still strong and steady as a prince’s should be. “The second being an offer to discover who truly is behind the deaths of your parents, for I assure you that I know of no such plan that has ever been in place in this kingdom.”

Her brow furrowed. “You say you know of no plan, yet did you not just wage war against us?”

“My father agreed to such terms, but I swear I opposed it from the start.”

“If the king himself did not listen to your council then what makes you believe he will agree with your offer to me now?”

At that, Adrien was silent.

Marinette bit back the urge to smile bitterly up at him. “Then I will decline your—”

“Your royal highness, please,” Adrien said. “Please, allow me to make amends.”

“Amends!” Marinette cried in outrage. “You take over my kingdom and now want to make amends?”

Her heart was screaming in pain as she watched Adrien struggle for words.

“Yes,” he answered. “I do. Whether my father does is not a decision I can make for him. But I want to do what I can to express my deepest regrets.”

Marinette glared at him. Even though the logical answer was no, something in her… something in her didn’t agree.

“One day,” she growled. “I will give you one day.”

Again, he bowed before her. “Thank you, your royal highness. That is grace from you I know I do not deserve.”

…

There was nothing more humiliating than having to salvage any possible relationship with a princess that had been mistaken as a war criminal.

Adrien rubbed his eyes. His father had been less than happy at the news of what Adrien had done. His father had glowered at him and said, “I will have no part in whatever you decide to do.”

Which really meant that Father was disappointed in Adrien’s choices and would make Adrien clean up his own mess with his own resources.

Adrien felt that was fair. He’d bit his tongue against voicing off against his father, knowing it would only rain more hell back down on him.

He sat in his own study awaiting Princess Marinette to arrive. He’d ordered her to be tended to, which meant a bath, a place for the night, and a change of his late mother’s clothes. Then, he’d asked for her to meet him in his study for the morning.

When she did arrive, she looked none too happy.

“Prince Adrien,” she said, her voice sharp with irritation as she curtsied before him.

“Princess Marinette,” he returned, bowing for her. He then offered her to take a seat, which she did. She sat all and proud, chin raised, eyes fiery.

If they were on better terms, he’d gladly pour compliments over her and lay a kiss on her knuckles. However, he knew that would not be accepted at the moment.

He hoped that one day they would.

“Your highness, I need to apologize—”

“Why.”

Adrien paused. “Why?”

“Why do you feel the need to flatter me with apologies after what you did to my kingdom?”

Adrien took a breath. “Because no matter what my father did, I disagreed with him from the start.”

“Yet you were on the battlefield.”

“If he was going to start a war I could not stop, and the generals were more than happy to put in in motion, then there was nothing I could do except hope to keep the casualties to a minimum.”

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him for a moment. “Is that why we constantly crossed paths in town?” she asked. “Because you were trying to keep civilian casualties low?”

“And I scouted ahead,” he admitted. “To see the best way we could surprise people and subsequently flush them out instead of firing deadly shots.”

Again, those sharp blue eyes locked on him. He stared back, hoping that she would realize that he was telling the truth.

“I want to believe you.”

Her tone was sharp, but somehow, he believed those words. “If you don’t, I would understand completely,” he said. “You have every right to be mad at me. You have every right to not believe me. Honestly, you have every right to hate me and my kingdom and my father. I won’t fault you.”

For a moment, her eyes fell to her lap. After a moment of silence, they returned to him. “Before the war began,” she started, “your father said your kingdom did not kill my parents.”

“I have every reason to believe that is the truth,” Adrien said. “We had no reason to start war with your kingdom. As I said before, I advised my father against going to war with your kingdom. If the assassins were from our kingdom, then we would brand them as traitors and bring them to justice. As smaller kingdoms, we would have been better off forging an alliance between us. Why start a war when we could be strong together and on good terms?”

Marinette looked skeptical, but at least she wasn’t angry at him anymore. Adrien would gladly take any peace offering she would give.

“Can I have your word,” she said, “that you know nothing about the assassins. Swear to me with the same honor you showed on the battlefield to my people—to me—that you did not have any involvement with them or the plan to take over my kingdom.”

He held up a hand in oath and looked her directly in the eyes. “I swear on my life and on my honor that I had no knowledge of any sort pertaining to your parents’ assassination.”

For the longest time, she just looked at him, studying him. He didn’t dare move.

“I believe you.”

He felt relieved, but knew that that her belief was shaky. “I swear to you,” he said, “that even if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that trust to you, I will. And I will begin today.”

It was barely noticeable, but her shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit and her chin lowered slightly.

He grinned. He supposed it was a start.

…

Marinette was in her castle, back in her own room that wouldn’t be hers for much longer. How long, she wasn’t certain, but Adrien agreed to let her stay in the home she grew up in until further notice.

“Your royal highness,” a servant that approached her said. “Prince Adrien Agreste of the Papillion Kingdom has arrived and requested an audience with you.”

Her stomach dropped. “Lead me to him.”

With false courage, she went downstairs to meet him. “Prince Adrien,” she greeted. “What brings you?”

The look on his face was worrisome. His frown was strong, and his eyes held a sadness. With his head bowed, he presented her a stack of letters. “Princess Marinette,” he said. “I must beg your forgiveness. I swear I have upheld my oath that I had no hand in this, but I recently discovered that my father has.”

Her heart stopped. With shaky hands, she reached out to take the offered papers and slowly opened them to read.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien kept repeating. “I’m so sorry.”

She couldn’t read them fully. She could only skim them. Words popped off the page at her, haunting her. Somehow, she finished reading the damning papers. Her world felt like it was spinning, leaving her dizzy and disoriented. Absently, she closed the papers, looking up at him even though she felt completely lost.

“Princess Marinette, I have a proposition to make you,” he began. His voice was filled with emotion he was clearly trying to shove down. “I met you on the battlefield many a time, and if the rumors are true, then you are a skilled spy. Though, you only became one to serve your kingdom.”

Her brow furrowed.

“I know I do not know you well enough to say this, but I will state it anyway: I believe you would make a great queen for your kingdom. As its heir, you should be the rightful ruler, not my father.”

She smiled bitterly. “That is kind of you to say—”

“I’m not finished,” he said. He glanced around at the soldiers in the room before leaning closer and lowering his voice. “I am only slightly more confident in saying that my father clearly does not have the proper respect or honor it takes to lead a kingdom.”

Her eyes widened in surprise at his words.

A fire sparked in his eyes, and she knew he was about to say something dangerous. “So will you assist me,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “In overthrowing my father.”

His words stunned. She was there with her eyes wide and mouth agape in a way she would certainly be scolded for.

“And once we do,” he said. “Because I am most certain we will succeed, I will take over for my father and grant you back your kingdom, allowing you to become the ruler that your kingdom deserves.” He paused, taking a step back to give her space. “I wish to prove to you that the man you met on the battlefield was one of honor. I’m asking for a lot, I am aware, but will you partner with me on this endeavor?”

Marinette looked him over, searching his eyes and his body language and his expressions. She knew it was madness to trust him, but then again, did he have reason to trust her? Marinette could tell he was earnest in his apology and righteous in his intentions.

“I remember on the battlefield,” Adrien continued. “How, each time we ran into each other, we would find ourselves in the other’s debt. Well, I seem to find myself vastly in yours, and I hope… I hope you will trust me enough to allow me to pay it off.”

While stunned at his words, she stuck her hand out in the space between them. “Surprisingly, I do trust you. Prove to me now that you are that man I met on the battlefield.”

He smiled, then reached for her hand, bowing over it to kiss her knuckles respectfully. “Princess Marinette, I will not let you down. And maybe one day, I will prove to you the kind of man I am.”

She smiled, remembering that first time they met on the battlefield. How he’d come to save her. The irony of each of them assisting the enemy was not lost on her. But now, she knew in her heart that they were fighting for the same side. “I believe you… Partner.”

…

It was the second hardest year of Adrien’s life. Plotting to overthrow his own father… he warred with himself about how terrible of a son he was. But in the end, when he discovered more incriminating evidence about his father wanting to wage war with another kingdom, that was all Adrien needed to be certain that this plan was for the best.

Marinette was a good partner. She would make an incredible queen, her words powerful and actions meaningful. But she was also sly and crafty and clever. It was because of her that a rally of trustworthy troops were at the ready to assist in bringing Adrien’s father to justice.

“I’m doing this for you, Adrien,” his father had said when presented with the evidence.

“No, you’re not,” Adrien scowled. “This is for your own selfish gain.”

After that, Adrien offered his father two options: step down quietly and give Adrien the throne, or be assassinated on the spot.

With Marinette pointing a knife at his nick, Adrien’s father decided to go quietly. Adrien called in several court servants to serve as witnesses as the paperwork was completed.

“I don’t want to lock you in the dungeons, father,” Adrien said. “I suggest going quietly to mother’s old estate.”

Marinette was the one who sent soldiers to monitor him for months. And when they came back a few months later saying he was killed, Marinette and Adrien decided to look the other way instead of seek justice.

The next several months after King Gabriel’s resignation were spent rebuilding the kingdoms and establishing Marinette as Queen of the Coccinelle Kingdom before releasing it entirely.

“But Marinette,” Adrien began, “one thing before you return.”

She turned her blue eyes on him. He could not deny the way his heart skipped whenever she looked at him. Or how it got hard to breathe. Or words failed him.

He swallowed. “I… For the benefit of both our kingdoms, I would like to bind our kingdoms together in peace,” he said.

She smiled, and he might have had to brace himself on his desk to keep from falling over. When he was a kid, he never understood the fluttery feelings lovers got in fairytales. Now, it seemed he understood them too well. “Well,” she began. “There is a simple solution.”

It took him much too long to come to any conclusion, and when he did, it seemed like the wrong one. “A marriage union?”

Her smile confirmed it, and nearly knocked him off his feet in the process. “I do find myself in your debt, after all.”

His brow furrowed. “How so?”

Her smile shifted slightly, changing it from congratulatory to sweet. “You returned my kingdom to me.”

“I could not have accomplished that without your assistance,” he countered. “Furthermore, that is the fulfillment of my debt to you.”

She shook her head. “I disagree.”

His heart skipped and he swallowed, giving him a moment longer to find words to say. “I don’t think that you owe me nearly enough to pledge your life to me out of gratitude.”

That locked the two in an impasse.

“Then,” Marinette began. “May I suggest that you come courting, and maybe, after a while, I’ll find myself in such a debt that I won’t be able to say no to your proposal.”

He couldn’t hold back his smile even if he wanted to. “Then my I warn you that this young king has set his sights on a lovely young queen to be his bride.”

He relished the sight of her smile as well as the light dusting of pink on her cheeks. “Your warning has been noted. Best of luck to you in your endeavors.”

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #one-shot #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #royalty #au #I don't know what else to tag this as

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inyournightmares97 · 6 years

Text

My Youth (Chapter 6)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.7k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.

His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.

Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”

“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.

“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death. Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”

Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”

“Well… yes, but-”

“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”

Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”

“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.

“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.

Focus. The presentation. The numbers.

Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.

“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”

The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”

“May I begin the presentation?”

“Please, do.”

--------

Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.

He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.

Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.

A very lonely life.

Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.

Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?

There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.

It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.

He had made the wrong choices.

------

“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.

What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.

“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.

Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.

“She always looked tired. And worried.”

“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”

Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”

Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”

She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.

Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”

Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”

“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”

“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”

------

Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.

Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.

Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.

Left with nothing with shame.

“Ahjussi!”

By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.

“What-”

“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”

Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”

Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”

“You’ll have to keep my secret.”

“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”

Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”

“Then how? How did you do it?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.

“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”

Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”

“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.

Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”

Ki-woo pouted. “But-”

“Nope. Back inside. Now.”

Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.

Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course-”

“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.

“I don’t really have a phone right now…”

“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”

Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”

“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”

“Sure.”

Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.

Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.

It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?

“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”

You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”

Jinyoung felt small.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Did they find your house?”

“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”

Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”

“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?

“About… about last night…”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”

You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”

The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.

But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?

How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?

“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”

Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”

“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.

“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”

“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”

You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Bye.”

---------------------------

The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.

You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.

You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.

You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.

Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?

You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys at midnight.

You sighed and dialled another number.

“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”

-------------------

It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.

You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.

“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.

The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung? At this time of night?

You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”

“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”

Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”

“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”

“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.

You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.

“We used to be good friends.”

You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.

And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.

“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”

Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”

“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”

His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”

“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.

To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.

Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”

“Then why are you-”

“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”

You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”

“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”

You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”

“You’re lying.”

You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”

You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?

“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”

Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”

You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.

Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”

Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?

“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”

“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”

You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.

“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”

Jinyoung stared at you silently.

“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.

Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.

“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”

You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.

“She did,” he mumbled.

You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.

“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”

Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”

Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”

“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”

“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”

You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”

Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”

Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”

“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.

Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.

He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.

“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”

“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”

“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”

You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.

You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.

“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.

“Even us?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Even us.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.

“You know something?”

“What, Jinyoung?”

“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.

You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.

“But it’s not?” you asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”

-------------------

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #got7 angst #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung angst #jinyoung scenario #got7 imagines #got7 drabbles #got7 series #got7 fanfiction #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung my youth

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fckeverything-v · 5 years

Text

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

47. What are you scared of? Heights.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

75. What is your life story in 6 words?

76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

81. Spirit animal?

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

99. What languages can you speak? English

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

103. Favorite food? Soul food

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

144. Prized possession(s)? little things

145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

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let-it-raines · 6 years

Text

Second in Command (Epilogue - Part Seven)

Summary: Life as the “spare to the heir” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be when you’re the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don’t know what really happens behind closed doors.

Rating: Mature

A/N: You guys are totally going to be annoyed with me for how I left it on a cliffhanger when I totally didn’t have to except to show some character growth and how things change...which I guess is exactly the reason I ended it that way :D

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

Epilogue Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Tag list: @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @ekr032-blog-blog @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615@a-faekindagirl @mayquita @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @kristi555 @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @alys07 @andiirivera

“Can I come in, son?”

“Yeah, of course,” Killian answers automatically, the shock of his father just showing up at his door stunning him for only a moment. It’s not like he never visits. He usually just calls or texts first. “I didn’t know you were coming over, dad. Why didn’t you call?”

“Oh, I was visiting the kids and thought I’d drop by since I knew that the two of you had returned home.” His dad steps inside, squeezing his shoulder before leaning down to pet Indy. “Hello, darling,” he then greets Emma, kissing her cheek before wrapping her up in a hug. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good, good,” Emma insists, her eyes still blown wide as if she’s actually been shocked. He knows she’s still a bit rattled from the flight and her nausea. The same thing had happened when they went out sailing the morning of their anniversary, before the disaster of the rest of that day, and even though he had been wary of it, Emma insisted she was fine. She never said she wasn’t, but the green of her face told him otherwise. “How are you?”

“Kicking pretty high for my age.”

“You are not old,” she laughs, tugging on Indy’s leash. “Do you mind if I take Indy for a quick walk? Let her run around a bit. She’s been told she’s going outside, and I’m afraid she’ll freak out if she doesn’t get to go.”

“Of course, dear. I’ll chat with Killian, and the second you two come back inside, I want to hear all about how you’ve been since you left us to go holiday in the warm sunshine. I swear it’s rained for the past week.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Emma takes a step over toward him, leaning up and kissing his cheek, whispering that she’ll be right back before taking a step outside with Indy and leaving him with his dad.

“Do you want something to drink? Eat?”

“I’m fine.” His father begins walking to the living room, settling down into the recliner he prefers when visiting all while Killian sits down on the couch next to him, only a side table between them. “So how was your holiday?”

He almost chokes on his own saliva thinking of all of the things he absolutely cannot tell his father about their holiday as well as wondering if he should bring up the privacy issue just yet. He doesn’t know, is never truly sure about these types of things. He could have a nice, normal conversation with his father or it could turn into another tense, stressful one. He’s had enough of those for a lifetime, but he also knows that he doesn’t have all of the time in the world to fix this. He’s got fewer than four months, really.

“It was wonderful,” he finally answers, his lips ticking up on one side. It really was wonderful to get away with Emma and only have each other for awhile despite the disaster that was their anniversary. It got better, though. It wasn’t completely bad. They had the sailing trip and the takeout meal that was better than anything else they’d eaten if only for how comfortable they both felt. He felt his son move for the first time, which was bloody brilliant and most definitely his new favorite thing. “It’s a gorgeous island. Emma mentioned something about asking you to make our beaches like that.”

Brennan barks out a laugh, the wrinkles on his face all gathering together while his gray hair shakes the slightest bit. If Killian was a betting man, he’d guess his dad is getting his hair cut in the next two or three days, keeping up with his lifelong schedule of haircuts. “If only I could. That would be bloody wonderful. But I like the way she thinks.”

“She’s definitely a brilliant dreamer.” He trails off toward the end of his sentence, looking down at his hand and twisting his ring around his finger, his constant physical reminder of his lifelong commitment to Emma, as if he really needs one. “Can I talk to you about something, dad?”

“Of course.”

“I know, well, I know that things were different when I was a kid, that technology wasn’t as advanced, that I was a bit of a surprise child and that you were on the older side when I was born.”

“Well, why don’t you just call me elderly then, Killian? And you have absolutely no proof that you were a surprise child.”

His dad laughs when he speaks, but Killian isn’t finding a lot of humor in it, knowing that he’s likely going to upset Brennan with his words.

“What I mean is, I know you weren’t really, truly involved in my life. And I’m not blaming you or trying to make you feel…upset, but I need a very particular kind of advice that really only you and mum or Liam and Abigail can give. And I’m honestly not even sure you can give it.”

“What’s wrong, Killian?”

He takes a moment to collect himself, hundreds of words on the tip of his tongue but none of them feeling quite right. But he has to say something, so he might as well speak the truth.

“How the hell am I supposed to be a father in a world where I can’t protect the privacy of my wife and my child? There were, um, photographers who rented out a house and used scopes to take pictures of us on the beach. And Emma and I got into a pretty nasty argument about it. She’s worried…I’m worried about Andrew’s privacy. We want him to live a life as normal as possible. We don’t want photographers following him to school or to the park, and I just – I don’t know how to fix it.”

He’s been clenching his fist all while he talks, the tenseness in his hand almost painful while hot tears form in his eyes, every fault and every insecurity he’s had long before the fight with Emma coming back and assaulting his senses, making everything a dark, cloudy blur.

Brennan looks calm, secure, the blue of his eyes not changing while his eyelids rapidly blink, his brows furrowing and the lines on his face increasing. Has he said too much? Shown too much emotion? Asked for the impossible?

“The fact that you have very obviously beaten yourself up about this proves that you are a better dad than I ever have been.”

“That’s not what I meant, dad. I didn’t – ”

“I know, Killian. I’m not taking offense to anything. I was a poor excuse for a father for the majority of your life. I was focused on Liam, on my job, on the protocol and the way that my father raised Albert and me. All I knew was that fathers were not supposed to be close to their children, and as much as that hurt me as a child, I stupidly believed it. The fact that you have forgiven me is something I still can’t believe.”

He leans over and places his hand on Brennan’s knee, patting him before leaning back and wiping at his eyes. “I did it for me, but with the way you’ve worked to change, you deserve it.”

“Thank you, my boy.” His father smiles, settling back into his chair and crossing his hands together in his lap. “But this is not about me. This is about you and your family. So you don’t want Andrew in the public eye? At all? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I mean, we haven’t discussed it in serious length, but yes. I’m sure that Emma will be okay with releasing the occasional photo or having him join us when we go overseas so we don’t have to be apart from him, but I think we’re going to have to take a step back in traditions. And when he gets older, I think we may need to move somewhere much more private.”

The front door opens then, the alarm beep sounding at the same time that he hears the click of nails and the squeak of sneakers as well as Emma’s voice. He straightens up, fixing his hunched back and sitting against the couch in as much of a relaxed position as he can.

“Go find, Killian, girl, yeah,” Emma coos, her voice getting louder the closer she gets to the living room. And then she’s in view, Indy running in first and jumping up on the couch before getting down once she spots Brennan, less familiar people always more exciting than him. Emma walks toward him, sitting down in the seat Indy just vacated and reaching around him to tangle her fingers in his hair, stroking the strands. “What’s wrong? Your shoulders are tensed.”

How the hell does she always know?

“Killian and I,” his father answers for him, seemingly understanding that Killian wasn’t sure what to say, “were simply talking about how you two seem to be suffering from some privacy issues and are worried about your child’s future, that you want Andrew to lead a more private life than normal.”

“Oh,” Emma gulps, her hand stilling in his hair before beginning again, “well, yeah. I know that we all grew up differently and that my childhood isn’t really an option, but that’s what I want, what we want. We want him to be able to be a kid, you know? I don’t want him to be used to cameras everywhere he goes. I don’t know how we’d fix that, but that’s definitely my top priority right now. And forever probably.”

His hand finds Emma’s knee, thumb running back and forth over the material of her leggings while she speaks. He’s here with her, for her, consistently, and he hopes that she knows this.

“Why don’t you two give me some time to think things over? I’ll meet with security. We’ll work out some plans and ideas. You two should probably talk to Liam and Abigail. It’s not, well, it won’t be exactly the same. You have more freedom than them, and they’re not quite as private as the two of you. But they do have experience in all of this.” “Thank you, Brennan,” Emma sighs, leaning back into the couch and scratching at his neck, his eyes fluttering closed for a quick moment.

“Of course, but at the end of the day, above everything else, we’re a family. How you two feel is far more important than any sort of duty and tradition we have, even if I do ask that we stick to the important ones.”

“Actually, I have something else that I want to talk about.”

His head snaps to her, eyes searching for what she has to say, but she’s not looking at him, her gaze trained on the wag of Indy’s tail while her fingers tap over his on her leg, the hand in his hair having stilled.

“What do you want to talk about, love?”

She looks at him then, the smallest of smiles on her face that comforts him the slightest bit, before directing her gaze to Brennan. “I don’t want to walk out of the hospital all made up hours after giving birth. Kudos to Abigail. She is a badass woman for that, but that’s not what I want. Andy doesn’t need to be exposed to so many people as a newborn. I don’t need to be all dressed up when I’ve just given birth. I don’t care about tradition when it comes to this. This is what I’m doing, and I really feel like it’s the first step in taking a stand about him not being some kind of public property.”

He didn’t know she felt that way about any of that, nearly every word she said news to him, but he gets it, supports it. If that’s what Emma wants for this, that’s what they’ll do. He’s never quite understood that tradition anyways, and he likes the idea of a more private celebration with just them and their families while Emma heals and they adjust to the terrifying process of being parents for the first time.

“I’m not sure we can do that, dear.”

“What?” His head snaps over to his dad, trying to process the words. “You literally just said that how we feel is more important than any duty we have.”

“But that we need to stick to the important traditions, yes. New family members are an important tradition.”

“Brennan,” Emma grits, her voice strained as she tries to keep it friendly, “I respect our family and all of the traditions we have, but I am not some kind of human machine who’s only here to produce babies. Yes, of course this is a big deal, but it’s a big deal for us as a personal family, not as some part of the institution. You can still put the sign up, make any and all announcements you want. Hell, I’ll release a picture if we have to, but all I’m asking is that we’re allowed to leave and travel home in peace.”

“I agree, dad. I mean, really. Of all of the things we break and bend, of all of the things we change, surely you can let this one thing go? It’s not hundreds of years ago where people are faking pregnancies and paternities to keep the line intact, which was ridiculous then. I think letting family be family is the most important thing, don’t you?”

“Aye, it’s just…you’ll have to forgive me.” Brennan runs his hand over his face, visibly warring something within himself, the lines on his face stressing. “You were right earlier when you said things are different now. These are not things that I really went through with you, not as prevalent as you. Emma, dear, I’m sorry. I don’t…I shouldn’t have ever considered making you do something you’re not comfortable with. I love you dearly, and you and Killian know what’s best here, not me.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” Emma says, getting up from the couch and sitting down on the edge of the coffee table so that she can squeeze Brennan’s hand. “You are so brilliant, and you uphold this family so well. I know that I’m different, that it was difficult to accept me, but change can be good, you know?”

“I know.”

Brennan stays for a little while longer, hashing out a few more details with them before accepting a cup of tea and some food, finally listening to them talk about their holiday all the while scratching behind Indy’s ears, her eyes closed in bliss the entire time. It’s peaceful, relaxing, and he feels his shoulders loosen the longer the conversation goes on, Emma’s laughter and joyful voice sounding throughout the room. In the back of his mind, though, he keeps replaying the conversation, thinking of everything he said, everything they all said, and he’s amazed it all went as smoothly as it did, surprised that his father acquiesced to their private exit from the hospital so easily. He had no idea that Emma wanted that, and he wonders how long she’s been toying with the idea, how many late nights she’s spent worrying about bringing it up. He knows she didn’t just think of it now, that it wasn’t spur of the moment, and he tries to remind himself to ask her about it later, to make sure that there’s nothing else she’s hoarding inside.

She goes through enough, has gone through enough over the years, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to hold things back from him.

But he saves his thoughts for later, letting his dad leave and letting Emma take a nap, her eyes falling shut without her even laying down on the couch. He wakes her before she can get into too deep of a sleep, though, knowing that it’ll hurt her back, and helps her go upstairs to their room, ignoring the curses she’s muttering under her breath about him waking her up. While she sleeps, he goes downstairs to his office, answering emails and clearing out his inbox that he left alone while they were in Spain.

Summer is normally a slow time for them, June and July full of engagements while August is usually taken off to spend in Balmoral. Emma’s due in September, though, a few days after his birthday, and she’s not working after August begins. He is, though, doing his regular work and making a few short trips, making sure never to never travel more than three hours away in case he needs to be home.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have things to do now, organizing his files and reviewing the financials for Kidding a Goal until Indy comes walking into his office, her nails clicking against the wood until she’s staring up at him with her mouth wide open, tongue practically falling out of her mouth. He checks his watch and sees that it’s far past seven. He’s surprised she didn’t come and get him two hours ago.

“You ready to eat, my girl?”

That gets her tail wagging before she takes off, running toward the kitchen at such a pace that she’s probably there before he even gets up from his chair. Sure enough, she’s already waiting next to her bowl like the most well-behaved dog in the world, which is not something he expected when he and Emma decided to get a dog last year. But she’s done well, their training working most of the time, but Indy does have the tendency to lick his face when he’s sleeping. He’s not a fan of that.

But she’s his best bud and a constant companion on his runs, so it all evens out.

After feeding her, he hears footsteps coming down the stairs, Emma wandering into the kitchen with sleep-rumpled hair and pillow streaks on her face, her pajama top falling off of one shoulder. She immediately heads toward the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and some yogurt before settling down on a barstool.

“How’d you sleep?”

She grunts in response, opening her yogurt and eating a large spoonful. “I hate being pregnant sometimes.”

“So not well then?”

“Nope. I felt like my guts were all being squeezed out, but do you know who’s not moving now that I’m awake and out of bed?”

“Andy.”

“Yep.”

She keeps eating her yogurt, quickly finishing it up before getting another carton. He should probably fix something for dinner so she doesn’t consume the entire yogurt supply in their fridge.

“Hey, sweetheart?”

“Yeah?” she mumbles, pulling her spoon out of her mouth and looking up at him, her hair deflating the slightest bit from when she came down.

“You want to tell me what that was earlier? With my dad. When did you decide you didn’t want to do the public announcement?”

“Oh, um, I first thought about it a few weeks ago, but it was really driven home after last week. Why? You have an issue with it?”

“No,” he laughs, leaning down across from her and propping his elbows on the counter. “I think it’s bloody brilliant, that you are brilliant. I like that you want to do things your way…our way. It’s very sexy.” “Oh boy, if you’re looking to get laid right now that is not happening.”

“Well damn. Now I have no reason to compliment you.”

“Shut up,” she groans, tossing her spoon over into the sink, the metal clanking. “But seriously, you’re okay with all that, right?”

“Of course. I want you to do what makes you comfortable. I’m not the one giving birth.”

“Damn right. I think I’m going to give your dad a heart attack though.”

“Aye, definitely. I know he’s trying and he’s being accommodating, but I could practically see the fear of breaking traditions rolling off of him in anxiety-filled waves. But he’s seventy-three. Some things just aren’t going to change.”

“So basically we hit the jackpot today?”

“Yep.” He walks over to the fridge, opening it up and seeing what they have left over from before they left. “What do you want for dinner?”

-/-

“Bloody buggering hell,” he curses, bringing his thumb to his mouth and soothing where he just jammed his finger on the wood.

Building a crib should not be this difficult, but it apparently is. He’s been following the instructions exactly, making sure that each piece is doubly secure, and he’s not sure how it’s taking this long. He should be finished, this crib should be made, and he should be able to move onto the shelves or Emma’s glider that she was insistent on them getting.

He’s spent more time in this room in the past month than he has in any other room in the house, June somehow running away with itself all while he’s been hidden away within these four walls. It took a month and a half for he and Emma to decide on a simple light gray, one that he’s pretty sure is also in their bedroom, but honestly, once they both agreed on the color (likely because they have agreed on it once before), he wasn’t going to say anything else. He did pick out the gray-ish blue that’s on the wall with the shelves (or at least where they’ll go once he gets to them), so he’s pretty proud of it.

Neither he or Emma are much one for designing, though they have gotten a bit more into it since the remodel of the apartment, but he’s pretty proud of how Andy’s room is shaping up, even if the lad will stay in the bassinet in their room for awhile. It’s a simple room, clean lines and clean colors. All of the furniture are different shades of white and warm browns, woods really, with natural accents. Abigail gifted them a large wooden giraffe along with some leaf and animal prints, so those are sitting in the corner waiting to be placed after all of this furniture is built.

His favorite part, though, is definitely going to be the little sitting area by the shelves and the changing table. He’s not under any impression that this is going to be a calm room, a place to relax, but he figures there have to be times when he’s rocking Andy back to sleep in that very spot, the shelves filled with colorful children’s books that’ll become routine reading one day as well as being filled with several stuffed animals and photo frames that he can’t wait to update with pictures. Of course, the cabinets below will be filled with the essentials, the things no one likes to talk about like diapers and nipple cream (that was something Emma did not want to know about, and he honestly doesn’t blame her), but they’re definitely still in the dreamy, picture perfect nursery phase where the messiness of a child isn’t quite a factor.

Really to him, as much as he knows this is real, as much as he sees the physical proof, feels the physical proof (which holy shit is it incredible to be able to feel his son move), it’s still difficult for him to comprehend that in two months he and Emma will have a child. It’s something they’ve talked about for years, something they were planning on, but it’s difficult to put into words just how much love he has for his son.

And his wife.

She’s a rockstar in every sense of the word, and if he doesn’t mention it enough, Emma sure as hell will. He loves her fiercely, and that love is another thing that he can’t quite put into words. He honestly doesn’t understand men who moan and groan about their wives constantly. If anything, he finds it disgusting. Yes, you’re going to have disagreements with your significant other. That’s natural when you decide to spend your life with someone who has their own wants, needs, and opinions, but at the end of the day, his wife is his best friend. If there’s anyone he wants to spend time with, it’s her. No question.

If the answer to who your best friend isn’t your spouse or the person you’re marrying, he doesn’t understand why the hell you’d bother getting married. His mates are great, but they’re not Emma.

Maybe he is a bit of the cheeseball that Emma always claims him to be, but he likes it that way.

He’s definitely going to embarrass his kids. All of the time. He can’t wait. He’s got a few years, but he can’t wait.

“You know we can hire someone to do this, right?” Emma asks, a bit of laughter in her tone that makes him roll his eyes. His best friend, most definitely. The teasing is just a small part of that.

“Aye, but I’ve started it, and I intend on finishing it.” “Okay, but the crib doesn’t need to fall apart while there’s a baby inside of it, and the glider doesn’t need to fall apart while I’m sitting on it. That’s, like, a double disaster, and I know you lived by yourself for a long time, but I’m pretty sure you’re not capable of that anymore.”

“Oh, really? Because I was just going to make them as unsafe as possible so that I could live by myself again. I miss being able to stretch out in the bed.”

“You’re so funny,” she teases from the other side of the nursery where she’s putting away the washed clothes in the closet, organizing them by size. He swears they have enough clothes to last Andy for the first two years of his life, and that’s not counting the piles of things he knows David and Mary Margaret have at their house. “I think I may have bought him too much stuff. I don’t even think I own this many things.”

“You don’t mess your clothes up multiple times a day.”

“Good point.”

“I tend to make those.”

“Eh. Debatable.”

“Not at all debatable.” He turns back to the crib, looking at the instructions to see if he can remember where he left off before Emma distracted him. “Shit, this is impossible.”

“I can call my dad, babe. It won’t be a problem. He’s a bit handier than you.”

“Please, I am plenty handy.”

“Okay, well being handy with me is not the same as being handy when it comes to building things.”

“If we call your dad, he’s going to take over. I want to do some of this myself.”

“I will tell Dad just to help. Come on, babe, you love spending time with my dad.”

“Only now that he doesn’t give me the scary speeches anymore.”

“Yeah, I bet those were a lot of fun.”

“I mean, it’s been a solid half a decade since I’ve gotten one, but he still shakes me to my core.”

He hears Emma laugh, snort really, before she makes her way over to him, slowly settling down on the floor next to him and waving her hand until he gives her the instructions. She looks over them while looking at the crib, her eyes continuously darting between the two.

“You put part G in backwards. That’s why nothing after that is fitting.”

“Bloody hell,” he curses, reaching over and taking the instructions from her hand and checking to see if she really did just solve his problem, “how did you see that when I’ve been staring at it for the past hour?”

“Fresh eyes, my love. Fresh eyes.” She leans forward and kisses his cheek before falling back against the wall. “And that’s exactly why calling my dad and asking him to come over in the morning will be a great idea. I bet Mom will want to come too, and she does a mean job with a power drill.”

So Emma calls her parents who agree to come over in the morning. On top of moving, they’ve also begun to change around the hours of the pub, opening it earlier and letting Will close it out at night. And it’s because of this that they show up at eight in the morning, he and Emma both still asleep when their doorbell rings. Emma groans when she hears it, burying her face into his chest and making it impossible for him to get up without disturbing her. He can feel Andy summersaulting around in her belly, and he smiles to himself knowing that she’s going to have get up. She can’t sleep when he’s moving around like that.

He can’t sleep when Emma’s basically running marathons in bed, but that’s not something he’s going to voice out loud. He can get up and sleep in a guest room if he needs to. Emma can’t get up and walk away from the person who’s running marathons in her stomach.

There’s two human feet inside of her. That’s pretty weird if he thinks about it too much.

Okay, so really weird.

Slowly but surely he gets out of bed, letting Emma flip over into his spot, and heads downstairs to open the front door. David and Mary Margaret have a key, but they never use it, always waiting for either he or Emma to open the door for them, which he appreciates after one too many times having them walk in on he and Emma.

“Hi,” he greets, opening the door and ushering them inside. “Emma’s still asleep, but I’m sure she’ll wake up soon. Do you guys want some breakfast?”

“We ate at home, sweetie,” Mary Margaret greets, giving him a quick hug before David does the same. “So Emma said you guys were having some issues in the nursery.”

“I believe that it was more like Killian not being able to put together a crib in under three weeks.”

“So funny, Dave,” he bites, rolling his eyes and locking the door. “I did eventually figure it out. I just think this mid-July heat is obviously getting to me. Or maybe nerves. I’m not too sure.”

“Well, let’s go help then. We’ve got to be at the pub at two, but I think we should be able to get things done.”

After he fixes himself some coffee, not nearly as wide awake as David and Mary Margaret, they head upstairs and begin working in the nursery, assembling the shelves and drilling them into the walls in half the time that it would have taken he and Emma had they done this by themselves. So maybe help isn’t all bad. Before Emma even wakes up, they have the shelves installed and pictures securely nailed on the wall. There are books already being stacked, stuffed animals and knick knacks being placed, and all of the fun nipple creams and breast pumps being placed in the cabinet.

They’re working on the glider when Emma finally wanders in, her hair falling out of its band so that half of it spills down her back while the other half is piled on top of her head, and she’s got her glasses on, something she only does when her eyes feel too puffy to put her contacts in.

“Hey, sweetheart,” David greets, finishing tightening the screw he’s working on before getting up to embrace Emma. “How are you feeling?”

“Rough today. I think the little dude’s a giant or something because he crushes my lungs and my bladder at the same time. So I can’t breathe, and I have to pee. So, yeah, it’s fun.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, dad. It looks fantastic in here. You guys have done so much. I feel like we’re not going to have anything to do in the next two months if we finish all of this.”

“That’s kind of the point, love.”

“Yeah,” she yawns, covering her mouth, “I know. Mom, do you want to come and rest with me in my room? My back hurts today, and I just can’t sit on the floor in here with you guys.” “Of course, hon,” Mary Margaret answers, walking away from the closet and stepping over to Emma before she rubs up and down her back. “Are you sure you don’t want Killian to join you? David and I would be fine to work on our own.”

“No, it’s fine. I bug him all day, and I’m kind of thinking that you can paint my toes for me or we can watch movies or something. It’s been awhile since we’ve done that.”

“Text me if you need me, love,” he tells Emma, his eyes tracing over her in a bit of concern. It’s difficult watching her be uncomfortable or miserable on some days when he literally can’t do anything about it.

“Yeah, babe, I will.”

Emma and Mary Margaret walk out of the room, their voices fading away as they walk into their bedroom one room over, and he’s left with just David who promptly gets back to work finishing building the chair. Music plays in the background, an eighties’ playlist he thinks, and it doesn’t take longer before the chair is completely together and he’s sitting in it testing it out. It’s comfortable, probably one of the best seats they have in the house, and he can definitely understand why Emma insisted on this one after shopping around a bit.

“How does someone so small have so much stuff?”

“My child is twenty-eight years old, we don’t even live in her childhood home anymore, and I swear things of hers still pop up all of the time.”

“That’s likely because Emma leaves everything all over the place.”

He folds his hands behind his head, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth while Cherry Bomb plays in the background, which is definitely not a nursery appropriate song. Or maybe it is. Who needs Mozart when you can have The Runaways?

“So is Emma like that every day?”

“Like what?” he asks, popping an eye open to look at David who’s sitting against the shelves, which can’t be good for his back. God, how old is he getting if his first concern is for someone else’s back?

“Exhausted.”

“No, not every day. She’s usually got a hell of a lot of energy, even if there’s always a nap. I think she had a restless night. She’ll tell me like it is, though. If she’s having a bad day, she’ll let us know.” “What about you?”

“Well, I don’t have a baby crushing my lungs and my bladder.”

“True,” David laughs, running his hands through his short hair. Killian swears it’s gotten more gray in the past year, the blonde nearly disappearing. David is only fifty-two, so he’s not exactly older. Hell, if it weren’t for the wrinkles on his forehead and the gray hairs outnumbering the blonde, he’d look much younger. “But I remember being a dad for the first time. It’s terrifying, so you’re allowed to be scared.”

“I am. It’s…” He reaches up and scratches behind his ear, his hair getting long enough that he knows he needs to get a haircut soon. “Emma and I try to make sure that we keep up our normal routines, that we have our normal conversations without talking too much about the baby, but it’s kind of hard, you know? It’s like we’ll be talking about going out to eat and two minutes later we’re making a list of middle names or speculating if he’s going to look more like me or Emma.”

“I know. But it’s an exciting time, Killian. There will never be anything like it, and if you want to talk about the fact that you’re having a kid, you should. You and Emma have been together for so long, and I really don’t think your relationship is going to struggle if you’re not sitting around making references no one else understands for hours on end.”

“Oi,” he protests, resisting the urge to pick up the toy elephant next to him and throw it at David, “that is your daughter you’re mocking, and she can still kick your ass.”

“Trust me, I know. Who do you think raised her to be like that?”

“Mary Margaret.”

“You’re walking a thin line.”

He winks at David, his lips ticking up on the right into a smirk. “I know. You and Mary Margaret did such a good job, still do such a good job, and even with all of the times you’ve messed up – ”

“ – which is a lot more often than even Emma has probably told you.”

“I just…you’re a good dad, Dave. To Emma, to me. I hope I can do half as good as a job.”

“You’ll be great, Killian.” David smiles at him, something genuine, and Killian’s reminded of how much David really has impacted his life in all of the best ways. “I promise. And as much as I love you, I do love my little girl more, and she’s going to be amazing. She’s always…she’s never been too open to a lot of people, but the people she loves, she loves so fiercely, you know? And she’s already doing so well at being a mom. She’ll call me at nights, and I can just hear the happiness and excitement in her voice. At the end of the day, that’s all you want, you know? For your kid to be healthy and happy.”

“Yeah, I know.” He smiles to himself, thinking of how happy he is. “Also, how dare you imply that you love your own daughter more than me. I thought I meant more to you than that. I thought we had something special, man.”

“I can still give you hell. I’d watch yourself.”

He and David finish up in the nursery for the next few hours until David and Mary Margaret have to go to work, leaving after the three of them eat lunch down in the kitchen, Emma staying upstairs for a nap. When the Nolans are gone and he’s finished eating, he heads upstairs, bypassing the nursery and walking into their bedroom where Emma is sitting up on the bed watching TV.

“Your toes look nice,” he compliments, grabbing onto her big toe and moving it back and forth. “Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah,” she sighs, twisting onto her back and scooting up the bed, “it’s just one of those days, you know? I’m not usually this miserable.”

“I know, but it’s okay to have bad days, love.”

“Come here,” she tells him, crooking her fingers and motioning toward him before she turns on her side and wraps her arms around her pillow. He does as she asks, kicking off his sneakers and crawling up into the bed, the mattress moving against his weight until he’s pressed up behind her, his knee stuck between her thighs and his arm wrapped around her waist while the other rests above her head. This is how she’s been comfortable lately, and he can’t say he minds. “Did you guys get a lot done?”

“Aye, it’s almost all finished.” He moves her hair off of her neck, placing a kiss there before resting his chin on her shoulder. “It just needs your finishing touches, I think.”

“And we have to unpack all of the boxes that are in the guest room and put them away in the closet.” “That too, but we’ve got time, Emma.” She hums, and he can feel the vibrations as well as Andy moving around under his touch, the movements following how he taps his fingers. “Has he been active today?”

“Not since I woke up, but he always responds to your voice.” “Yeah, he recognizes me?”

“Of course, you talk so damn much. How could he not?”

He turns his head and presses a kiss against her jaw, biting a bit just to tease her. “You are not a very nice woman, my love.”

“Oh please, I’m, like, the seventh nicest person you know.”

“Seventh?”

“I figured it was conceited to put me at number one.”

“Possibly.” He moves his hand against her stomach again, snaking his fingers up under her pajama top so that he can feel the warmth of her skin. “So he really does get more active when I talk?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird to think about, but it’s true. He likes when you talk. I think it’s because you’re a much better story teller than me.” “I mean, obviously.”

“And that he’s probably just glad to hear someone else besides me. Imagine being stuck with someone for nine months. Good God.”

“Well, I’m stuck with you for forever. Good God.”

She groans and curses him under his breath before she scoots over and turns in his arms, slowly but surely moving to face him. “Don’t be an asshole. Also, so I was talking to mom today, and she wants to be called Mimi. I think Dad wants to be called Papa, which I like as long as that’s not what you want. I know that’s what some kids call their dads.”

“Aye, it’s what Lizzie calls Liam, which is weird since Alex doesn’t do that. But I’m okay with dad or daddy, so David can be called Papa.”

“Yeah, I kind of like it. Mimi and Papa. And then your parents are Gammy and Grandpa, right? That’s what Alex and Lizzie call them.”

“Aye, but I know Mom didn’t want to be Gammy. It’s just what happened. She says it makes her feel old.”

“Your mom is not old.”

“I know, but considering your parents are barely fifty while my parents are in their sixties and seventies, it doesn’t help.”

“I’ll tell my parents to get older then.”

He smiles at her before closing his eyes and settling into his pillow, letting his head sink down into the softness. It’s calming in here, the lights turned off and curtains closed while the ceiling fan hums a steady rhythm above them. He could fall asleep like this even if he’s not the biggest fan of naps, always somehow ending up groggy when he wakes up, and it doesn’t help with the way that Emma is playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, her fingers scratching into his scalp.

“Are you working tomorrow?”

He pops an eye open, looking at Emma and smiling when her nail hits a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. “Aye, I’ve got the Investiture ceremony at ten. Why?”

“Just wondering. I was thinking we could go somewhere. Just us. Maybe take Indy to Berkshire and let her run around, spend some time outside.” “We can do it in the afternoon, if you want. I think the weather is supposed to be nice.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, leaning forward and sliding her lips over his for a brief moment, “I think that would be nice.”

The next day after he’s finished with the ceremony, he hurries home, changing out of his suit and into shorts and a t-shirt, slipping a baseball cap onto his head and grabbing something to eat for lunch while Emma does the same, her hair falling out of the back of her hat in a long ponytail. They’ve got all day, but the afternoon’s weather is pleasant enough that he’d like to go now so they can stop by a café for dinner, even if that’s the absolute last thing that Thomas will want them to do.

They want their privacy, but they should be able to go out to dinner.

So he and Emma load up into his car, letting Indy sit in the backseat with the window rolled down so she can feel the mid-July breeze blow through her fur. It doesn’t take long to get to Windsor, pulling into their parking garage less than thirty minutes later, and instead of going inside like they’d usually do, he hooks Indy up to her leash while Emma grabs some water bottles and they head to the private gardens, avoiding the visitors wandering around on tours.

As much as he prefers the spring, mild July days are near the top of his list of favorite things. Everything is brighter, more pleasant. The grass is actually greener, the flowers contrasting against their background to create a landscape of whites and shades of purple, while everything is covered in a clear blue sky, only a few white clouds scattered throughout. New life blooms, and he gets to be the one to appreciate it, to revel in it. England can be so dreary sometimes, the weather somehow reflecting the moods of most people on their morning commute to work, so he appreciates when it’s not. He’s always loved the outdoors, and if there’s any complaint he has about his home, it’s the small private garden that they have to themselves. He’d like something larger, more space to run around, and sometime in the future, he and Emma plan to spend more time in Bucklebury so that they have the privacy.

That’s what they’ve decided on since returning from Spain last month. There’s been more lengthy, draining discussions with his parents and their security team than he’s ever wanted, and as much as he feels like they haven’t really accomplished anything, he knows it’s a slow process. Of course, there are drawbacks to every positive. They’re still going to have to spend most of their time at Kensington. It’s closer to their work, to their families. Hell, Emma’s parents just bought a house so that they could have the ability to spend time with their grandchild, and now they’re going to move away from them. It’s less than an hour drive, but it’s not nearly as close as they currently are.

But everyone understands, and they don’t plan on moving any time soon, not until Andy’s a bit older. They want to be near all of their loved ones when he’s younger, and they’ve spent so much time working on their home, making it exactly how they want. It’d be difficult to leave full time, so it’ll be nice to have the option of both.

It’ll be even nicer to give Andy the most normal life that they can possibly give him.

Emma whistles next to him, her fingers between her lips, while Indy runs back to them from where they let her loose. She was about five seconds away from jumping into a pond full of fish, and as much as they’d usually let her swim, they don’t need to have a wet dog with them for the rest of the day. So she runs back to them as quickly as she can, her legs leaping in the air with her black and white fur bouncing the slightest bit. He’s convinced that she shouldn’t be able to be that quick, but she’s still just a young dog, less than a year old, and though her legs will get longer, he doesn’t think she’ll ever be full of this much energy again.

If she is, he and Emma are definitely in over their heads.

With the dog.

He’s going to choose to not think of what it’ll be like with a toddler than can run and a dog that he can run after.

After she calms from her almost pond dive, Indy walks along in front of the two of them, occasionally wandering off the stone path to sniff around in the plants, nearly tearing up several flowers until they call her back to keep walking. They stay wandering for a little over two hours, not caring where exactly they’re going or if they’re circling back around in the same spots. Indy and Emma get tired around the same time, so they settle down onto a stone bench with a patio cover that’s next to another small pond.

In the distance, he can see the Chapel where they were married, the steeple rising up above the other buildings and stone walls, and he smiles to himself thinking of that day. In the grand scheme of things, he knows that when it comes to he and Emma, as important as it was, they had so many smaller, inconsequential days that he holds just as fondly in his heart.

But that was a pretty damn good day.

He stretches his arm out over the back of the bench, wrapping it around Emma’s shoulder and tangling his fingers into the ends of her ponytail while she leans her head on his shoulder, the bill of her hat hitting him in the chin for a brief moment. He’s glad she suggested them getting away from London for a little bit, for suggesting that they change up the routine and spend a day enjoying summer, especially since they’re missing out on Scotland with the rest of the family.

A month in the same place as everyone is likely a bit long, anyways. He loves his family, but that’s a lot for anyone.

“I love you, you know?” Emma asks out of nowhere, her gaze never falling away from the rippling of the water in front of them, a fish leaping up out of the water while the lily pads float around.

He squeezes her shoulder, rubbing up and down her arm and kissing her head even if she can’t feel it through the hat. “I know. I love you too.”

#second in command #cs ff #cs fic #captain swan fic

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365daysofsasuhina · 6 years

Text

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Fifty-One: Good Medicine ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Healing Waters and Scorching Flames ] [ AO3 Link ]

She hasn’t had much opportunity to learn the healing side of waterbending. Though...then again, waterbending as a whole hasn’t exactly been a subject Hinata was steeped in. With the Fire Nation raids capturing and locking way the Southern waterbenders, Hinata had only her mother to teach her...and even then, not for long.

She’d not been one of the many taken prisoner. Hanako had simply been slain where she stood.

As the last left with any hint of bending in her veins, Hinata grew up without a teacher, only able to guess and feel her way through bending. Failures in her experiments meant a lack of confidence, and a yearning to someday make it to the North to find a master to learn from.

Of course, that had been before stumbling across the Avatar alongside her best friend Kiba. That single encounter changed not only her life, but the world.

Suddenly she had a way to leave the South Pole: a method of transport to the North, where she and the Avatar - Naruto - would learn under the remaining masters of waterbending.

Before they could leave, however...trouble found them. Namely the second-in-line prince Sasuke of the Fire Nation.

Their first meeting had her feeling fearful...but also realizing she couldn’t afford to be afraid. This was the Avatar...the world’s last chance for peace. If Hinata wanted to make it to the North - if she wanted Naruto to save the world - she had to put aside her reservations, and do as her mother did: stand up to the Fire Nation.

Needless to say, that first encounter - and the next several over the coming weeks - meant a great feeling of animosity between them: Hinata, and Sasuke. They both sought the same person, but for entirely different reasons.

But as time passed, and their circumstances changed...they could no longer afford to be enemies. Naruto needed to learn firebending. Sasuke had begun to see the error of his ways, thanks to careful guidance from his cousin Shisui: a secret member of the White Lotus.

So, the two groups were suddenly awkwardly pushed together as Sasuke accepted his role as Naruto’s firebending teacher.

But Hinata wasn’t having it.

After all he’d done - to them, to Naruto, to her - she couldn’t trust him. Wouldn’t! No longer was Hinata the meek, scared girl from the South Pole. By then, she’d grown into a young woman of resolve and dedication.

Of them all, it would be Hinata he’d have to convince the most.

It hadn’t been easy...but from a begrudging acceptance of their circumstances, situations arose to drive them together. Bit by bit, acceptance grew...which slowly formed into trust.

Which is why now, with Sasuke injured, Hinata tries to put her limited healing knowledge to the test.

“Just...hold still. I need to concentrate.”

Not arguing, Sasuke sits in a tense, accepting silence. Mild burns litter his left forearm, used to block an attack but partially letting it go astray. The red, puckered skin stings, but doesn’t seem too severe.

Taking clean water from a canteen, Hinata examines the wounds carefully before bringing the element up to the singed tissue. For a moment, it almost seems to burn all over again. But then the liquid glows softly, and relief instantly wilts Sasuke’s shoulders.

“...I’ve never seen waterbending healing before.”

“I’m...very loosely practiced in it. I had some lessons in the North, but...not as much as combat. I’ll do what I can, but...they might scar, and take a w-while to heal.”

“It’s fine...better than I could do.”

That earns him a brief glance before returning to her work.

“...when this is all over, I know a healer you can learn from. If you want.”

“...you do?”

“I…” Shame weighs in the base of Sasuke’s gut. “...when I, er...went to get Naruto, it wasn’t my first trip to the south. A few months before that, I’d gone to another tribe that used to be known for healing, and...took the last bender there. She’s the one serving my brother. Keeping him alive.”

Recognition alights Hinata’s face. “...I see.”

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t...kind to her. At the time, I was still…” His tone fades to silence, not sure how to explain. “...I was so conflicted then. My brother means everything to me. I was desperate. So...I told her I was holding her village hostage. If anything happened to Itachi, I would…” Another pause, not needing to explain. “...and yet...part of me - a stupid, selfish part of me - had hoped we wouldn’t find one. A healer.”

“...but…?”

Grief and anger darken Sasuke’s face. “...the older I got...the more I realized that, if Itachi were to die...it would make me the next Fire Lord. And now, I...I can’t stand myself for ever having thought that way. But my father, his teachings...they jaded me. It’s like he wanted to pit us against each other. He knew Itachi was weak. Maybe...that’s what he wanted. But I insisted to try the South. To look for a healer.”

For a time, quiet settles over them. “...then...that’s what matters in the end. You overcame those feelings, and you got him help.”

“But I did so in a terrible way!”

“I’m not saying you’re not at fault in that regard. But...you helped your brother, when you could have...well, left him to a worse fate. Maybe someday you can atone to how you treated the other waterbender. And...I would be happy to learn from her.” Hinata glances up, managing a small smile.

“...you’ve come a long way, Sasuke. In my eyes, at least. I’ll admit...I was so wary of you at first. And...I had reason to be. But I also see how you’ve changed. I might have had my doubts, but you proved yourself. I’m sure you can do so with her when the time comes. For now, we each have our own paths. She’ll help your brother, and you’ll help the Avatar.”

Sasuke looks to her with a somber expression before glancing to his wounds. “...and you’ll help me.”

“...we’ll all help each other. Together, we’ll stop your father. The Fire Nation can then be led back into the ways of peace. The w-war will be over. And we can all...go home. Heal. And the world can regain its sense of balance.”

“The work won’t stop with the war,” Sasuke reminds her dryly. “There will be plenty left to do.”

“I know...but we’ll face it together. All of us. Naruto has changed too, you know. He’s not just a wistful child. Now...he’s matured. At least,” she laughs, “somewhat. Part of him, I think, will always be a kid. But we work together well as a team - and we’ll keep doing so after the war, until the world has a better foundation. It’s been stuck in this war for almost a hundred years! There will be a lot to get used to.”

“Hn…”

Another round of silence, and then Hinata checks her work. Scars glisten pink along Sasuke’s arms, but a flex and a prod prove them to be healed. “Well...it’s not p-pretty, but…”

“It’s great. Thanks, Hinata.” The prince affords her a rare smile that she returns.

A kind of tension seems to bloom...before they both glance away.

“I...I-I should see if Naruto has any wounds,” she offers, moving to stand.

“Yeah, I’ll...start working on a fire for the camp.” He watches her go, unable to help a feeling of...frustration. Like he’s missed something. Looking to his arm, fingers gently sweep over the new scar tissue. He’s sure they won’t be the last.

...and maybe he won’t mind a little healing every now and again.

Well, not as late as last night - woo? lol More AtLA! I've been really feeling this fandom lately, and it worked well for this prompt, too! I love incorporating some healing with Hinata, given her canon dabbling into it, what with her poultices she's been seen to make! So while she might not be a master, she can at least help Sasuke's wounds a bit. And he doesn't mind getting a little up close and personal, it seems ;3 Anywho, that's it for today! I'm excited to have crossed the 50 day mark - and soon we'll be at two months! Kinda crazy, honestly...time's really flying. But, either way, thanks for reading!

#uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #sasuhina #healing waters and scorching flames [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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greensungnostic · 5 years

Text

Checking in with Grandpa

It's been a while since you visited the old man. You figure you've left him hanging long enough. He'd probably love to hear from you, what's been going on in his granddaughter's life. You head quietly through the halls of the lower floors, still and calm and differently decorated than the upper floors where you live. You stop in front of an old oak door with a brass knob and a plaque on its face, and slowly turn the handle. You peek your head in slowly, looking into Grandpa's study. It's always dim in here, the fug of cologne and gunpowder and cognac baked into the room's very soul. He stands there in the dim, facing the ornate marble fireplace, which -

FWOOMPH!

- ignites dramatically into a warmly crackling blaze as you settle your gaze on it. There he goes - The old man, "Hass" "The Flame" Harley, always with such a flare for the bombastic. Your Grandpa stands Stout and Resolute in front of the mantle, seeming to gaze long and hard into the flames. You take his dramatics as consent to enter, and you stand a few paces behind him, nervously tenting your hands. He's always been so tall, so imposing, and you've barely gained an inch since your session began. You're basically still the same dorky kid as ever, eternally youthful. You hesitate, waiting a reasonably long moment, then finally speak.

hi grandpa! sorry to bother you, i know you probably have a lot of work to do! but i wanted to come visit you in here and say hi! ...sorry i havent come down in a couple of weeks or uhm... months. i got all caught up in my work and in my head and kinda stayed cooped up in my lab up there below the greenhouse. huh? yes! before you ask, ive got three computers with me including the ones in my head and my glasses, and i do think the caliber of my current rifle is plenty sufficient! no i dont need to borrow the blunderbuss but thank you anyway! i will let you know when i need it okay? its overkill for anything but bosses!

You sigh heavily. He's always such a worrywart, hassling you over your preparedness and the bore of your firearms! You huff your trademark Harley Huff, then sigh and deflate a little. You know his hounding you is just how he shows that he cares, in his weird way.

i just wanted to let you know about some of the stuff thats been going on, though im sure youve seen hints of it here and there, mister wise and cunning hunter! first off, take a look at these babies!

You round the quiet old man to stand just past the fireplace on the far side, showing off the fluffy white fur and canine shape of your legs from the thighs down. You lift up one footpaw, showing him the glowing green footpads beneath, and wiggle your toes. The luminous glint of green reflects in your Grandpa's eyes, along with - is that interest, or pride, or just confusion? He's always been so hard to read. You'll opt for confused pride, shy of any context otherwise. You plop yourself into the dusty armchair beside the fire so you can wave your paws idly through the air for his approval, and continue your conversation face to face.

i know, i know, you never quite got all this furry stuff, but think of it this way! i am a little bit better of a huntress now, i can run around all quiet-like like bec! plus it gives my tail a reason to - huh? boots? yeah i guess i could use a custom fit pair, for like lohac or lofaf when its extra cold... if you insist we can find a cobbler, sure! cool digitigrade boots do look cool on cartoon furries... hee... uhmm lets see, what else is on the agenda?

You stroke your chin thoughtfully, then smile sheepishly at him.

so... do you remember rose? yeah, yeah the one ive always talked about! uh-huh, the one from movie nights. the squiddle one! my best friend. the one i... always had a crush on, yeah. well, as you know weve been looking around for everyone from our timeline and...

Your smile brightens, your eyes sparkle. Grandpa waits patiently, letting you talk, green eyes flickering in the firelight.

we found her, grandpa! like the right her! skaia lit up when we came back with her, and cetus showed herself for the first time in ages. its really her, grandpa!! its so good to...so good to have her back in my life. i... you know how much i missed rose. and the best news of all? she... she likes me back. she likes me back!! we are... we are dating now! shes... my girlfriend, a-after all this time. hee, i know, i know, lots of girlfriends. but this is important to me! rose was my first crush!! or uh, second, if you dont count margaret hamilton, haha... gosh i love her. i love rose! aaaah!

Grandpa seems chuffed for you, a twinkle of mirth in those eyes, past his thick glasses. The one good thing about having read all about him on the internet - you never felt uncomfortable coming out to a man you knew was openly bi decades before it was widely accepted. You practically glow in excitement, just thinking about Rose.

oh, we also found aradia! or she found us, anyways. she is one of the trolls! this one is kinda froglike, which is cool! i did not expect her to ever show up, i thought she had run off to play psychopomp! but here she is just hanging around and i guess she can help our search! she has cool psionic powers, and is the maid of time! she kinda showed up all spooky and glowing in the dark the other night! shes slimy like a frog sometimes, but shes cool, honest. youd like her, she loves adventure. maybe ill bring her by sometime?

Grandpa is quiet here, no real feedback, but seems pleased for you. You've never really talked to him about her much, so it tracks. You're sure he'll be interested in finding out more later, though. He always lends a patient ear when you talk about your friends, and he really would like Aradia. Two peas with ghastly interests in a slightly ghoulish pod.

sooo harleytech is doing pretty well! my jadebots run most of the daily stuff for me and i do all the designing, and the special interactions! in a while im gonna do a bunch of installations for some trollian freedom fighters, rebels! thats so cool right?

He seems impressed by this one - a streak of rebellion has always been pivotal to his character as the world's most eccentric philanthropist and Renaissance Man after all, especially if it's against who you think it might be against.

lets see, what else... the garden ship has been doing really well, i just fixed up the alternian section a little! if aradia wants a slice of home, she can put it there! heheh... im still trying to think of a name for that huge maple though... the yiffdrasil is kind of dumb, and its not THAT big. do i name it after another scientist like us, grandpa? what do you think?

The old man doesn't answer, as if lost in pensive thought. It's tough to puzzle out a name for something like an ancient, time-wizened old tree, after all, especially one accelerated through time to its current state. Eventually a name occurs to you, and you clap your hands together.

hmm, maybe instead of a scientist, van winkle or something? yeah, good call! ooh, rip van maple? heheh... yeah, ill try that out for a bit! good idea, grandpa...

You sigh, tone softening, and you rise up to stand next to Grandpa. He's so tall, towering over you in presence and height alike, but you find yourself staring at his feet, the polished maple wood beneath.

youre so smart, grandpa. you always know just what to say.

You're quiet for a moment, just letting him loom over you. With a lump in your throat, you begin again.

hey grandpa? thank you for always... always being so supportive, even if we butt heads sometimes over stuff like hunting or mummies or dumb stuff like that. i know you only scold me and keep an eye on me because you wanna see me grow up to be the best me i can be! right...? always making sure i had the best of everything I needed to... to be who i wanted and needed to be. im so glad youre my grandpa, thank you for... for always being around for me.

i hope im... i hope... a-am i doing okay? am... do i make you proud, grandpa?

With a quaking lip, you look upwards at the old man, towards his serviceable pith helmet and dense, curly moustache. He doesn't say anything, his silence distinguished. Tranquil. You imagine a heavy, distantly familiar palm resting on your head, comforting and warm, but it doesn't come. Your own small hand resting between your ears while teardrops plink off the floor will have to suffice. You rest your head against your grandfather's side for comfort, sniffling softly until the tears subside.

its okay grandpa, you dont have to say anything about it. s-sorry, i just got carried away, th-thinking about what a good grandpa you are... youre right, stiff upper lip, h-haha...

You wipe your tears on your face and offer him a brave smile, seeing a twinkle of pride once more in his aged eyes. You smooth out his tear ruffled coat for him, and reach up to adjust his pith helmet. It's only polite. You hug him gently, then step towards the door. You attempt to pepper a layer of cheer into your voice.

ill let you get back to work, grandpa. thank you for talking with me today, it... it meant a lot that you took time out of your day to do that! ill come see you more often okay? i know sunday is fathers day, a-and grandpas definitely count for that! we can... we can do something special!! maybe ill show you my shooting skills!

dont work too hard and have a good night! a-and ill see you sunday if not earlier, okay!! i love you grandpa!!! byyyye!

You step hurriedly out of the Study and click the door closed behind you, standing in front of it and trying to steady your breathing. Failing that, you find yourself sliding down the front of the door to curl up and hug your legs in front of it, shoulders bobbing as you bury your face in your knees, already deeply missing the old gentleman you just finished visiting.

Grandpa was a lot easier to talk to when he was alive.

#solo writing #solo rp #sad #death mention #long post

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crazy-hand-official · 6 years

Text

on hole

ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole

hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences.

or at least it feels like that, dont it?

that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist.

but also i guess i just really love tunes.

ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!

ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums

Pretty On the Inside

their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch.

track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones

this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain

other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside

Live Through This

their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...

i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!

favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die

im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:

wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao.

other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world

Celebrity Skin

i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer.

favorite track of the album: heaven tonight

ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.

other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful

Nobody’s Daughter

years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still.

anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting.

favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god

i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.

i never wanted to be the person you see

other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch

and thats what i have to say about that!

#hole #courtney love #long post #goddamn this took forever to write lol i just had a lot to say #and still have more but ill shut up... for now.#im not actually drunk but i wrote this post last night at like 1 am #well i was drunk but not christmas morning damn

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 6 years

Text

Madness | Chpt. 5

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Thunder in the Rain”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 7,968

Warnings: angst (I mean, when is it not angsty?), new character alert, also some kissing :*

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: Y’all are my favorite people in the universe. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc. I love you all so much! Also, please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning.

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

As I walked away from him, a part of me hoped to hear some kind of regret in his voice or anything at all, even. Instead, I heard nothing. He was silent. Maybe I had to do what everyone had been telling me to do all along: let him go. In my heart, I knew what would have been best for me. I knew that I would have been safer and filled with less grief if I let him go and went to Midgard to be with the Avengers and her. I knew that she would undoubtedly fill the void in my heart that Loki left there, as she had been the one to fill it ever since he fell. Still, I felt responsible for him as well as the Nine Realms. I saw the damage he had done to the world we knew as our second home. His suit was black (the absence of light), gold (what had once been my favorite color), and green (his favorite color-the color of my eyes). He attacked the part of Midgard we had last been to together. It was a night of laughter and happiness for both of us and a memory that was now clouded with pain and darkness. He still used the daggers I had given to him before he left for a battle with Thor-a battle Thor talked the Allfather into keeping me out of, as I was still recovering from the last one.

A piece of me wondered if he had a reason. Maybe he truly didn’t care for me anymore, maybe he lied to me all those years, but for what? What did he have to gain from an orphan girl? He was a God, and I was just another Asgardian. There was nothing extraordinary about me. If he wanted to manipulate someone for so long, why wouldn’t he choose someone with more power? I had to believe that it was more than that. I had to believe that there was something else that I just wasn’t seeing clearly. He was still in there. The man I knew was still holding on and fighting back this new version of himself. I didn’t know what happened or what made him turn on me so quickly, but I had a few theories of my own. Perhaps he found out about my secret from Odin that day, but I still didn’t even know how Odin would know in the first place. Maybe he fell out of love with me quicker than I had ever anticipated he could. I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t for me to try to figure out in the middle of the night when I was still sick from the ale that evening.

I made my way up to the training grounds, casting the illusion just long enough to make it past the guards. Once my eyes were dried, I dropped the illusion, finally visible again. I lifted a dulled sword from the rack and walked over to one of the training dummies before taking out every ounce of anger, frustration, and pain on it. I didn’t need to build my skills with the sword anymore. However, I knew to practice regularly to stay nimble. Tonight, however, was simply to hit the dummy as hard as possible to make my muscles sore. I just wanted to make myself tired enough that I could fall asleep for the rest of my life, and if I couldn’t achieve that, I at least wanted to be tired enough that when I laid down in bed, I could fall asleep immediately. I didn’t want to think of his harsh words or the way he glared at me like it was my fault he fell in the first place. I didn’t want to think of the mistakes I had made or the grief I felt over the loss of a man who meant so much to me.

Listening to the loud crack as my sword hit the dummy over and over again helped drown out the sorrow in my heart and the voices in my head that were even more cruel than Loki could ever even hope to be. As I growled, I thought of every moment in my life that I felt anger, every moment I felt alone, every moment I felt weak. I thought of the night he told me he hated me, the fall, when I saw him on Midgard, when I left her, when Tony Stark shed a tear for me, when she cried. There were so many moments, but they all came rushing back as the wall I had built up to keep them away finally broke down and crumbled into nothing. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack and opened my eyes to see that my last swing of the sword had been too successful, as the blade lay broken on the ground.

“For a woman as peaceful as yourself, you sure like breaking swords when you’re angry,” Thor’s voice rang out from behind me.

I whipped around, surprised by his presence. I hadn’t heard him coming, and I certainly didn’t feel him because of my clouded thoughts. As soon as I looked at him, my mind quieted once more. He was a peaceful soul with eyes as deep as the oceans. He leaned against one of the pillars with his arms crossed over his chest. His robes cascaded over his broad shoulders, and he wore a slight grin upon his lips. I shook my head, dropping the handle of the sword, which would be of no more use, “I apologize if I woke you,” I murmured, attempting to walk past him. I was in no mood for speaking as my frustration had not been washed away completely.

He caught my arm before I could pass him, and as my chest continued to heave, he spoke, “you did not wake me, Lady Eva. I figured that after you visited Loki, you would come here,” he said, hinting at the fact that he already knew what I had been up to that night. My mouth gaped open as I searched for any possible explanation other than the one he proposed. Before I could lie, he continued, “my brother has been playing tricks on me since we were children. Do you not think I can tell? Plus, I’ve known you since we were children, and I knew you would go down to see him at some point,” he shrugged.

“I had to. You can be mad, you can tell the Allfather, you can do whatever you need to do, and I won’t be upset. All I ask is that you continue fighting for him the way I have,” I said, straightening my shoulders, “I will accept whatever punishment my King sees fit.”

“Your King will never know,” Thor replied in a hushed but stern voice, “I will not be speaking a word of this to my father. You did what needed to be done, something he doesn’t believe is worth the time or energy. You’ve looked out for my brother since we were kids, and I would’ve been ignorant to believe that you would just stop because of what happened on Midgard. You still see the good in him, and I admire that because I still love him just as much as you do,” he added, “how was he?”

I stepped back over to him, and he released my arm from his grasp. I motioned around the training grounds, “well, I’m out here, so it didn’t go as well as I had anticipated. He’s still hurting, and it continues to break my heart every time I see him. I can feel his pain just as I could before, but it’s amplified.I just don’t know if I can keep doing this to myself, Thor. I don’t know if I can keep trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. It would kill me to abandon him like this. His mind is chaos. He needs a moment of clarity, of peace, but...maybe I can’t give that to him,” I answered the best way I could.

“Who better to show him that moment of clarity than you?” he asked, gazing down at me with eyes that shined like the sun on my darkest day. While every other love I felt paled in comparison to that which I shared with Loki, Thor brought something else into my life, something more beautiful than life itself. He reminded me that life was not about power or status, it was about living. He had a love for all living things that matched my own, and I loved him all the more for it. Thor never pushed me away, “you have done so much for him, Eva. You may not think you’ve done enough, but you’ve done more than everyone else put together. You have sacrificed more than anyone else. All I know is that you need to take fate into your own hands sometimes. Maybe you find that you don’t want to wait for cooperation from Loki or the Allfather. All I know is that you have allowed others to control your destiny for too long, and it’s time for you to take your control back,” he added, “and if you need to talk or cry or scream, you know that I’m always here.”

My eyes filled up with tears, and I pushed them back, having cried more than enough over the situation. It felt like I couldn’t stop since the fall. It was that moment that I made the promise to myself: I would be weak no longer. I would weep over my situation no longer. I could mourn for the man Loki once was or give him no other option other than to accept my help. As my chest continued to heave due to the unchecked frustration, I grabbed the back of Thor’s neck and attacked his lips with my own. It was the only thing that felt right. It only lasted for a second before the shock forced him away from me, and he held me at a short distance. He cleared his throat, color filling his cheeks, “why did-what are you...we can’t do this when you’re still a bit drunk, Eva. I don’t know if this is you or the ale from earlier, but...you aren’t in the right state of mind for this right now,” he noted, chuckling to lighten the mood.

“Does that really matter anymore?” I asked, closing the space between us once more, and he allowed me, “I want this. Do you want this?” I asked, gazing up into his eyes.

He sighed, “you know I do, and you know I’ve wanted this for a long time. There’s a reason I haven’t done anything since we were young, though, Eva. You belong with Loki, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I love both of you too much to ruin what you have,” he whispered, his arm snaking around my waist, telling a very different story than the one spilling from his lips.

“What do you think you would be ruining? The rubble of our love? Do you think you can shatter heart we shared anymore? Could you kill a flower that was already dead?” I asked, realizing that, while I loved Loki more than life itself, he loved me no longer, “I will love your brother until the day I die, but he has hurt me so much, I think I deserve a moment of happiness. I deserve to remember the sweetness of love, which is something I have forgotten the taste of for so long. Remind me...please,” I begged, grasping onto his robes in a desperate attempt to let him know that I would not hold anything against him.

He searched my eyes for any hesitation that could have been lingering there, but he found none. He found only loneliness and grief. Perhaps he felt sorry for me, or perhaps he was giving into urges that had lain dormant since our childhood. Either way, he kissed me. I threw my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grunting lightly when he pressed me against the pillar he had been leaning on only moments ago. His lips were smoother than I had remembered them, and I could feel the areas he bit when he was nervous. As his left hand grasped my thigh, offering me an extra level of support aside from the pillar, his right hand steadied my face as he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever anticipated.

To my disapproval, his lips departed from mine, and he began to sprinkle kisses along my jaw and down to my neck, a place Loki always loved. As I squeezed my eyes shut, I forced the thought of him from my mind and focused on Thor. When he grazed his teeth against my neck, I arched my body into his, feeling a shiver run through me. As I arched into him, his arms wrapped around my body, squeezing me against him hard enough for me to feel every muscle and every crease even through the clothes. For the first time in such a long time, I felt small in someone’s arms. Aaldir, Hjalmar, and Loki always made me feel that way, like I never needed to worry when they were around. However, she had the opposite effect on me. I was the one to make her feel small, the one to protect her. Ever since her, I had not felt like the small one until now.

With one arm still draped over his shoulder, balancing myself, I grabbed his face with my other hand and turned his head so that he was looking into my eyes. I saw joy and desire and so much anticipation. I pressed my lips to his once more before pulling away and trailing kisses along his defined jaw and down to his neck. His hold on me tightened as I ran my lips along a sensitive spot. As I kissed him, he walked us down the hallway toward his chambers. He opened the doors with his back and shut them with his foot. When we were finally in the comfort of his room, he peeled me off of him and pushed me down onto the bed. I chewed on my bottom lip and laughed as his eyes scanned over my body.

Before I could react or speak, he joined me on the bed, nestling his body between my legs and proceeding to kiss me once more. As soon as I felt his warmth, Loki’s face flashed behind my closed eyes. I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, but it was like he could feel my hesitance. He pulled away from the kisses and pushed himself off of me in an attempt to figure out where he had gone wrong. I shook my head, trying to collect myself, but I was failing miserably. The promise I made to myself such a short time ago was already being broken as I began to cry, “I’m sorry, Thor. I’m sorry,” I broke down, hiding my face in my hands. I felt so much guilt in that moment, so much anger at myself for being so stupid as to believe that I could just replace the love I received from Loki.

As soon as I began to cry, Thor crawled over to me and wrapped me up in his strong arms, “I know that you don’t want to hear this right now, but as your friend, I need to say it,” he stated as my body quivered and trembled in the arms of the man I wished I was meant to be with. If I was destined to be with Thor, my life would have been so much easier because he would have loved me from the very beginning until the very end. I wouldn’t have felt this pain. Maybe I was just cursed, though. Maybe it was my fault that Loki was hurt the way he was. Maybe I was at the center of his pain. Before my mind could continue down the darkened trail any further, Thor spoke, “I love you, Eva. I have loved you since before I can remember, and I’ve never stopped loving you. For a long time, I wished that you chose me instead of Loki. I wished that you would find happiness with me, but I always knew that you two were meant for each other. Even though it kills me to say it, you and I don’t belong together. You belong with Loki. You always have. And I can’t let my love for you ruin your relationship anymore than it already has,” he said, grief clear in his deep voice.

I shook my head, wiping my tears away as I found the strength to gaze up at him, “you didn’t ruin our relationship, Thor. You had nothing to do with this,” I murmured.

He sighed, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

*Thor’s POV*

I had been more surprised that she stayed after I told her the story of that day, more surprised than I was that she didn’t try to hit me. Instead, we shed tears together, and I sat with her until she fell asleep. After I told her what happened and apologized profusely, she lessened my guilt by being adamant about how it wasn’t my fault. Still, I could see the pain the truth brought her. She was heartbroken, and she went to sleep that way. A piece of me wished I had kept it from her, but it had been two years of her questioning why Loki turned his back on her, and I knew the truth.

Unable to sleep, I found myself with Heimdall in the Bifrost. Though even looking at the Bifrost brought Eva a sense of misery, she spent much time in the very spot I was standing, and I knew that it was because the her fear and sadness over that fateful day paled in comparison to love she had for the Midgardians and...her. She asked about them often, and Heimdall would always fill her in on the health and well-being of each of them. She was always the most concerned about Tony, the two of them having a special connection that I could not understand. Steve also held a special place in her heart, which I could understand much more. He was a soldier and always put the needs of everyone else above his own. He didn’t like to fight, but he did so that others could know peace. Eva did the same.

As I stood next to Heimdall, staring out at the stars, I felt his gaze shift over to me for a fraction of a second, “you told her,” he noted, clearly having cast his gaze upon us when he felt her distress. The two of them were connected the same way her and I were connected. It paled in comparison to Loki’s connection to her, but we could feel when something wasn’t quite right.

I nodded my head, “I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t keep it from her any longer. She deserved to know the truth,” I insisted, feeling guilty that I brought her to an even deeper level of grief but feeling hopeful that it would help her see the truth, that she had done nothing wrong, “she’s become far more destructive since Hjalmar’s death, and I sensed that she was spiraling. She’s lost so much. She blames herself for Hjalmar’s death, and she blames herself for Aaldir’s sorrow. She blames herself for Loki’s turn and believed it to have been her fault, like she could’ve stopped him from wreaking havoc on Midgard. She had every right to know the truth,” I added

“You are not wrong,” he stated, gazing back out at the stars, “she sacrificed so much for Loki, but I fear that she will now try even harder to free him, even if it means committing treason. She has no reason to show the Allfather anymore respect, for she now knows that he played a pivotal role in pushing your brother over the edge,” he added, and I gazed over at his solemn expression. He lowered his grief-stricken eyes, “I fear for her safety if she tries to disobey the orders of the King.”

“You have my word that I will do everything in my power to keep her from doing anything reckless, but she has never listened to me the way she listened to Hjalmar,” I said, thinking of one of my dearest friends, “how is he?” I asked, hoping for some words of comfort about Hjalmar’s new home in Valhalla.

Heimdall sighed, “I...cannot see him,” he confessed, hesitant to speak the words to me. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused as to how the gatekeeper and the guardian of the Nine Realms could lose track of someone. Before I could ask any questions, he turned his haunting gaze upon me, “I have searched for him, hoping to regale Eva with some stories of him when she came; however, I have not found him. I have searched every realm, every planet, every moon. I have searched the entirety of Valhalla, and I even looked for him in the Realm of the Dead. Still, I have found nothing,” he said, turning back to the stars, “I suggest keeping this between us for the time being. There is no need to put her through anymore pain right now,” he stated, strongly.

I nodded my head, “but what if she comes to you and asks about him?”

He frowned, the mere thought of it bringing a sour taste to his mouth, “then I will be forced to break the heart of a princess.”

*1 week later*

After another night spent watching over Eva and getting barely any sleep, I found myself standing beside my father, the man who was the cause of so much of her grief. She knew it now. She knew what he had done, and while I was surprised that she didn’t hate me for the role I had to play in Loki’s downfall, I was unsure of how generous she would be with my father. The two of us watched her as she practically danced around the training grounds with Sif and Ephinea. She hated fighting, but there was a side of her that came out when she fought that I had never seen before. She was skilled in battle the way no other man or woman could ever even hope to be. She blocked the attacks from each of the goddesses, and the two of them pulled no punches. Sif and Ephinea never went easy on Eva, so for Eva to hold her own against the Goddess of War and the Goddess of Strength, respectively, said so much about her skills.

As gracefully as she blocked what would have been a “finishing blow” from Ephinea, she began to take the offensive, swinging the dulled swords and moving like the ocean. I had gotten the chance to see her on the battlefield so many times throughout my life, and it always left me in awe. She had a plethora of her own weapons, many of which Aaldir had crafted for her or helped in the crafting process. He had given her two short swords that she used on occasion, and he also gave her the greatsword she used most of the time. Loki had gifted her a set of daggers, which were delicately crafted but stronger than anyone could anticipate due to their beauty. She danced around Sif and Ephinea, fighting both of them and successfully knocking them down and finishing them. After her success, she helped them back up onto their feet before starting again. I glanced over at my father, “she has grown far more skilled in the art of battle than even you could have anticipated,” I smiled, gesturing to her.

He nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips underneath his beard, “if this is how you plan to sway my mind on the matters she has brought up time and again, it will not work,” he reminded me.

I shrugged my shoulders, “it wasn’t my intention, but it would’ve been nice,” I stated, gazing upon the girl who was so strong but so broken, “she has a point, you know...about Loki,” I murmured, wanting my words to be between us. I watched as his eyebrows raised in shock, which was understandable as I had always been fairly quiet on the matter, never explicitly taking anyone’s side, “I don’t believe you to be delusional, which is why I think you know-as well as she does-that Loki doesn’t belong in the dungeons. He is far more dangerous around people who think like him. His mind was corrupted far more after he fell. Even if we could get him back to the way he was before, when he was only trying to take over the throne, instead of killing hundreds of innocent people on Midgard, it would be better than leaving him down there,” I explained, hoping that he would listen to me with an open heart and open mind, unlike when he listened to Eva make the same case about Loki.

He gazed over at me, the icy blue eye as solemn as ever, “so, you are proposing the same thing? I release Loki into Eva’s care, knowing that he is a weakness for her? Knowing that she could never do what needed to be done if it came to it?” he asked, “I simply implore you to think through every scenario,” he added, sensing that he had offended me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing that he was not completely sincere, “no, you are asking me to doubt her. You are asking me to trust her less, but you don’t know her the way I do. You didn’t see her on Midgard the way I saw her. You have no idea what she has done-the sacrifices she has made-for the good of the Nine Realms, for the good of Asgard. You don’t see what she has given up, but I have,” I growled under my breath, angry that he would try to plant the seed of doubt in my mind.

He shook his head, “I do not wish for you to doubt her, but I do wish for you to look at this from a place of objectivity. If you did, you would have the same doubts I do,” he replied, a voice as calm as the breeze that morning.

“I can look at this objectively, and that’s why I believe she could take on this task. While we cannot go back and rewrite the past, she can turn the tides in our favor. If she were somehow able to turn Loki back to our side, think of what our strength could be with an ally like him! We would be much stronger with him as our ally than with him as our enemy,” I exclaimed, gesturing out at her, “look at her, Father! Truly see her for what she is! She’s no goddess, but she possesses the same skills as one. I don’t think this is coincidence. I truly believe that she is meant to be much more than another Asgardian woman.”

“You have much to learn about her, my son,” he frowned, trying to force a smile and failing. I watched as the look in his eye became distant, like he was revisiting a memory that brought him pain. He tried to push it away, but it lingered there.

I shook my head, “I know all there is to know about her. I know her better than I know myself most of the time,” I chuckled, gazing out at the woman I was in love with. For a long time, I fancied Ephinea and Sif. The two women were stronger than anyone gave them credit for, but I couldn’t talk to them the same way I could talk to Eva. Eva was just...special. I knew every little thing about her, even though I was sure my brother knew far more, things I couldn’t even imagine. I glanced back up at my father, “there’s nothing I don’t know,” I assured him, thinking of the many secrets she had hidden from him, secrets he would never even know.

“There is so much you don’t know about her, so much that you need to know,” he said, a sad smile spreading across his lips as he gazed out at her once more before stepping away from the railing and turning to face down the hallway, “walk with me and learn,” he motioned, and I obeyed, falling in step with him and casting one final glance back at Eva. Once we were far enough away from the prying eyes and ears of everyone else, he began speaking, slowing his pace, “before you or I, before my father and his father before him, Asgard was created. Where once there had been nothing, we received a land of beauty, peace, and salvation. This was the place where the Asgardians could call home, a place that was more beautiful and rich with life than any other, and we took it all for granted,” he explained.

“The land began to dry up. Where there had once been lush forests and beautiful mountains in the distance, it was barren. The Asgardians who lived her long ago took from the world but never thought to give back. They built this city upon her natural beauty, hiding the plentiful gifts she bore to them. The creeks and streams began to dry up. People believed that it was the world’s way of grieving. She had always provided for them, always gave more of herself than they could possibly take, but they did not rejoice as their ancestors once did. They took the gift of life for granted, and they took this realm for granted. They did not thank the world for her blessings, and they did not live their lives the way we were meant to,” he continued.

“The drought of the world continued. Food was more difficult to come by, and we were running out of fresh water. We began sending people to various realms to acquire what we needed and bring it back here. We had already stripped our world of all she had to offer, and we were doing the same with as many others as possible. Life was dwindling, and we were unsure about the future of Asgard,” he said before letting out a long sigh. When I cast my eyes over to his face, I saw that he was reliving a memory that haunted him, and a sadness came over him that I hadn’t seen before, “I had an older brother growing up, a man I’ve never spoken about, a man no one speaks of anymore,” he confessed.

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering how it could be that an entire piece of Asgard’s history was lost to me, “I forbid his name to be spoken, and there are not many who remember him, not the way I do,” he frowned, “Cul was older, stronger, and much more capable than I was. He believed himself to be the rightful King of Asgard, and when my father-your grandfather-died, Cul took the throne for himself. My father had groomed me to take his place after he died, but my brothers and I allowed Cul to rule because of his promise to keep us as his close advisors, a promise he broke shortly after his coronation. He picked from a group of his loyal followers to be his advisors. It wasn’t until he took the throne that we saw just how twisted he was, how his desire to rule festered into a madness we had never seen before.”

As we walked into the throne room, he stopped and stared up at the golden throne for a long moment, “he ordered that we strip the other planets of their resources, and if we were met with hesitation, we were to take the resources by force. He wanted to make it clear that no one would stand in his way. A part of me wants to believe that he had good intentions, that he wanted to show the Nine Realms that Asgard was still a powerful seat. However, the more he took from other planets, the faster ours was dying, so my brothers and I did what needed to be done. We stopped him,” he said, frowning at the memory. I could tell that it brought him so much pain even recalling it, so I couldn’t imagine the pain he went through when he lived it so long ago, “there was a bloodbath in this throne room. My younger brothers fell that day along with so many others, and it came down to just Cul and I. He had sent his followers away to spare their lives because he knew I wouldn’t kill him, that I would spare his life because of the ancient rules, rules he never followed but rules I couldn’t break,” he explained, glancing back over at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, “but you broke them on that day?” I guessed, hoping it to be true.

He shook his head, a few strands of white hair falling out of place, “I couldn’t, and it wasn’t because of the ancient rules. I couldn’t kill him because he was my brother, he wasn’t the King of Asgard, not to me. I couldn’t kill him because I could still remember running around the palace with him and getting in trouble for fooling around for too long when I should have been studying battle techniques. Instead, I banished him to the Realm of Death, hoping that Death would be able to do to him what I could not bring myself to do. It was where he belonged. He delivered so many souls to Death that day alone that he deserved to face them all once more,” he said, glancing back over at the throne and narrowing his eyes, “but if I could go back with the knowledge I have now, I would have killed him when I had the chance because-”

Before he could explain his reasoning, a booming voice caused the entirety of Asgard to quake beneath our feet. It was the first time in my life I saw pure fear in my father’s eyes, “Odin!”

*Eva’s POV*

I stood in the courtyard that overlooked the Rainbow Bridge. Thor and Odin stood side-by-side in front of Sif, Ephinea, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and I. Behind us were members of Odin’s kingsguard. While I had not wished to even wake up at all that week-let alone see the Allfather-I stood there out of the love I had for Asgard and my willingness to protect the people from any intruder, including the one that stood before us with his battleaxe strapped to his back. He stood the same height as Hjalmar once did, only slightly taller than the God of Thunder himself. The man before us all held himself like a King with his shoulder straightened and his head held high. He looked massive, like he was a force to be reckoned with. I had never met him, but he looked so oddly familiar to me, like a face I had seen only once before.

Dark brown hair that matched his short beard fell in waves nearly as long as mine, but he pulled the strands from his face and fastened them behind his head to see clearly. Even from our distance, I could see myself clearly in his piercing green eyes. Those eyes were filled with so much anger, so much hatred, but they were still so beautiful and pure...a green that matched the colors of spring. My breath hitched in my throat, and it felt like I was going to suffocate. I knew those eyes. I knew them from somewhere, and when he spoke, I began trembling with unchecked fear, “I am Ezra, son of Cul, and I have been sent here by my father, Cul, son of Bor, the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard. I have been instructed to deliver a message to the usurper, your false king,” he spat out, grimacing at Odin. I was shocked by his words, unsure whether or not they were truthful. I had never heard of Odin having any brothers aside from Vili and Ve, and neither of them had any children of their own. It was clear by the looks on the faces of my comrades that I was not the only one who was confused by his claims.

Even if he did, Odin was our King, and for an outsider to show up in Asgard and insult the throne, it was unacceptable. While I was angry at Odin for justifiable reasons, I did not hate him, and I would still fight to protect Asgard and her people. As I made a motion to step forward, Ephinea put out her hand to hold me back. When I tried to pass her still, she grabbed my arm, making her movements as small and unnoticeable as possible to keep from gaining the attention of the the outsider. She gave my wrist a gentle squeeze, trying to remind me without words that this wasn’t the right time. The small motions still pulled the attention of Ezra, and he glanced over at me in particular. His green eyes scanned over my body, and he smirked, “you’re just itching to kill me, aren’t you?” he asked before glancing back at Odin, “I see why you keep some of your best warriors chained up in the dungeons-like your son. It must be terrifying to have this one roaming around,” he said, gesturing to me.

A fury erupted in my chest as he mentioned Loki. I gritted my teeth, my chest continuing to rise and fall at an alarming rate. Still, I remained silent, not wishing to escalate the situation. Odin spoke up, “did you come here to discuss the population of Asgard’s dungeons, or do you have another motive?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. He was pulling a page out of Loki’s book, smiling in the face of danger. It was one of the things that made me love Loki even more, and it made me see Odin as so much more than I had been willing to in the past. In that moment, he became so much more three-dimensional than ever before. While he had forsaken Loki in the past and made his own mistakes, there was a piece of him that still loved the young trickster. When I saw him find his confidence the way Loki did, it made me think of the impact Loki’s actions must’ve had on the Allfather. While I wished to speak with Odin about it, I knew that this was neither the time nor the place for such discussions.

Ezra cast one more glance over at me with a smirk that made me sick to my stomach, but he turned his attention back to Odin when I grimaced at him, “my father sent me with his demands. In his exile, he has been building allegiances with many people within the Nine Realms and beyond, and I can assure you that none of them are particularly fond of Asgard. They would be willing and able to tear Asgard apart at my father’s command, but he is willing to go about this peacefully,” Ezra stated in a menacing tone.

“And what does Cul want in return for his promise of peace?” Odin inquired.

Ezra chuckled, stepping forward, “he wants the throne back, the throne you stole from him,” he growled, pointing a finger at the Allfather, “he demands you hand over the throne of Asgard, and in return, you will be exiled to the Realm of Death just like you did to him. As I see it, you have two options: you can surrender and meet his demands, which will lead to a peaceful life for your people; or, you can resist, which will lead to our return and the subsequent bloodbath that will take place. Either way, we will take the throne of Asgard, but your decision could save thousands,” Ezra said, offering Odin the ultimatum as if he was in any position to do that. He came to Asgard with no supporters behind him and threatened a King with the entire Asgardian army at his disposal.

Odin smiled at the man in front of him, and I saw the condescending undertones, causing me to smile as well. While I harbored some ill will toward him upon recent news, I could not bring myself to hate him or declare that he was a poor king. He held himself with strength and dignity, which was something that would not work in the strangers favor, “you forget the third option,” he smirked, and Ezra cocked his head, clenching his fists, “it’s where I let your armies come, and I defeat Cul just like I did all those years ago. I had no problem doing it then, and I won’t fail now. You do not look for peace, but I pity you if you try to fight us. We know much about what must be sacrificed to maintain peace, and I do not wish for a war. However, I will do what needs to be done should your father attempt to wage a war against Asgard and her allies,” he explained, “so, you can tell my brother that his proposition was met with resistance.”

Ezra chuckled, stepping even closer to Odin. As soon as he was too close, the entire army behind us drew their weapons, but Odin raised a hand, wishing to entertain the boy for even longer. I listened to the warriors lower their weapons, but they did not put them back in the sheathe. I glanced down at Thor’s hands that were balled up in fists. Ezra leaned in close to Odin and spoke, “well, I came here for your surrender, and I’m not about to leave empty-handed,” he murmured before stepping away from the two of them and pointing at me. Once more, his eyes trailed along every piece of my body before locking eyes with me, “I’ll take that one,” he dictated, closing the space between the two of us.

Before he could stand directly in front of me, Ephinea stepped between the two of us, “try to take her, and I will rip you in half with my bare hands,” she threatened, rage clear in her voice. She had always been like an older sister to me, so it didn’t surprise me that she would react like that to someone who was threatening my safety.

Ezra glanced over at her but then back at me, “call off your dog, pet,” he instructed, cocking his head to the side with a smile filled with false admiration.

I scowled at the nickname he decided to give me, and I felt a chill run down my spine at the thought that I could be traded off to ensure peace, even if that peace would be short-lived. Odin’s stunned silence was not helping ease my troubled thoughts, but I had to act with strength and grace just as I always tried to, just as my father taught me all my life. I raised my hand and rested it upon Ephinea’s shoulder as I stepped out from behind her. She gazed over at me, horrified and flustered because of my actions. She had no idea what I was planning to do or why I was planning to do it, but I offered her a short glance that I hoped would set her mind at ease. When I stepped between her and Ezra, he didn’t break eye contact with me. He smirked, one of his eyes twitching ever so slightly as he narrowed them at me.

He searched my eyes-for what, I didn’t know-and when he didn’t find what he was looking for, he grabbed my chin and brought his face impossibly closer to mine, “tell me, what is it you want, pet? Do you wish for acceptance? Strength? Power? A real family? A place where you belong?” he asked, “I’m sorry to break your heart, but you won’t find any of that here, not with the current ruler. And, what about Loki? I’m sure you want him back, too, don’t you?” he asked, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. How did Ezra know about Loki? How did he know about my deepest desires? As I stared up at him with wide eyes, terrified that he was able to pick me apart so easily. He raised his eyebrows, sympathy crossing over his face, “you have so much to learn, beautiful, and if you cooperate, we’ll give you the answers you seek and the opportunity to live out the rest of your life with Loki,” he murmured before grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling me even closer to him, “but should you fail, I will find your girl on Midgard and tear her apart in front of you just for fun!” he growled, my heart twisting and shattering into a million pieces before he pushed me down onto the ground.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Thor’s loud voice boomed, almost like thunder itself. I could barely think of anything aside from Ezra’s threat. I was paralyzed with fear at the very idea that enemies of Asgard knew about her, that they could use her against me. Thor spoke as I tried to collect myself, “you are sorely mistaken if you think we’ll just hand her over to you. Now, we have entertained this madness for long enough. If you try to take her, you will not live to see another sunrise,” Thor promised, glancing down at me and nodding his head. I knew that I would have nothing to fear with Thor by my side. Even if Odin, for some reason, wanted to send me away, Thor would betray his father just to keep me safe.

Ezra chuckled again, laughing in the face of the God of Thunder, “I haven’t seen a sunrise in nearly 300 years,” he confessed, and a piece of my heart broke for him. I couldn’t help but see small pieces of Loki in him, the anger, the pain, the hate. I had nothing to compare Ezra to, though. I knew the man Loki used to be, so I knew that pieces of him were still alive. Still, everyone could be saved, and that included the enemies of Asgard. Ezra continued, “no matter! I’m used to taking what I want by any means necessary, and I don’t lose,” he said before unsheathing his axe in one swift motion and swinging it down toward Thor.

In the split second it took Ezra to begin the attack, I jumped up to my feet and drew Hellbreaker, one of the many swords my father had helped forge for me. Right before his blade could graze my prince, I stepped in front of it, catching the handle of his battleaxe with the blade of my sword and stopping him from hurting Thor. His eyes widened in clear astonishment. I was sure someone like him didn’t anticipate anything extraordinary, especially not from the person he nicknamed “pet” only moments prior. I pushed him away from the Thor and I, “you don’t lose?” I asked, grinning up at the intruder, “well, neither do I!”

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