#i hope they are nice I'm learning a new method and I'm still in the training wheels phase

[garnetaldebaran]

Valtteri in A-Z Race Winners Challenge! | Grill The Grid 2023

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XXIV

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: I... I wanted to wait a little moment before publishing the first chapter of season II. But, as you know me, I'm not a patient being, so I shall give you this chapter sooner than expected. I hope you will enjoy it, season II is going to be... wild, I think, but I hope you will love it as you loved season I. TW: Rape mention, smut, blood, knife play, cheating

“ Once again, the police have found a body, the right eye missing and a smile carved into the victim’s flesh. This had been going on for years, yet, the police, led by John Felleur, still haven't found a single clue about the serial killer that haunts New Orleans’s streets. The killer seems to attack men only, so my dear fellow gentlemen, you should stay vigilant!”

“ He loves the attention doesn’t he?”

You looked at Alice, as Alastor's voice was coming through the radio.

So many things have happened since your wedding, three years ago.  Alastor and you had succeeded in creating a bond between your two souls, making you elated. The three spirits that helped you were very interested in what would happen and sometimes, Legba or Baron Samedi would pop up next to you, wanting to talk.

Your control over your power has been getting better and better. You didn’t need to raise your hands anymore if you wanted to create your shield or telekinesised something, you just needed to think about it. You could cast your soul out of your body for one hour now. You could see things in another room thanks to your eyes or your shadow. Your shadow, which you inherited from Alastor’s power, was easily tamed. It was even useful, but it would always have some kind of fight because Alastor’s shadow would tease it.

Talking about Alastor, he has become stronger and more popular. His killing methods have become even more sadistic, more evil and cunnier but you loved him for that. You still killed pigs, Alastor would stalk them, finding every information about them if they were worth killing.  He always chose the filthiest of mankind, making it a pleasure to dispose of them. 

He never injured himself, he didn’t want you to use your healing power which created a huge argument between the two of you. You would hurt yourself to learn more about your healing abilities which almost made him snap. That day, you made a deal with him, Alastor would hurt himself on purpose and you would only heal what he said you could. You didn’t like the idea but it was mostly small cuts, nothing life threatening. 

Or you would heal yourself after Alastor has played with your body and a blade.

As skillful as he was as a killer, he was now a popular radio’s host. He would get invited to fancy soirée, always bringing you with him. He would dine with high society, finding new prey there. Sometimes, Alice would ask for your skills, telling you about new people to kill because of their sins.

Speaking of Alice, your best friend was wed.  After the incident with Larry, she decided to find a nice man so she could settle down with and she founded Tray Felleur. He was from John’s family, a cousin or something, you didn’t care. He was a rich man, he looked familiar, the Felleur’s genes must be strong. You were very worried when she told you her choice, but after meeting him, you felt a little more relieved. He was a nice, intellectual man. Alice told you he never forced her to do anything, letting her do what she wanted.

Which means she would meet Alyzéee, who was also wed to a man. Most of the time, Alice would wait for Tray to leave for work and Alyzée would come so they could still live their romance. She would feel guilty, sometimes wondering if she should tell her husband where her true feelings were. You and Alastor always said it was a bad idea, you didn’t want her to be in trouble, you asked her to wait a little longer. What for? You didn’t know yourself, you just… You could feel it in your bones, she had to keep her secret.

“ Well, Alastor has always been like this right?” you smiled at her, giving her a piece of cake. “ How are you feeling?” you asked her, worried. These days, she seemed paler than usual, always tired.  

“ Tired, but that might be because of yesterday’s soirée.” she winked at you. “ You should have seen Alyzée’s dress, she looked divine.”

You smiled at her, listening to her talk, fanning yourself. This summer was really hot for some reason. You gossiped together, talking about what was going on in New Orleans.

“ You don’t need another killing?” you asked as you drank fresh water. The last man she wanted dead was a man who had raped two women in two months. You enjoyed his screams more than you thought. 

“ It seems like you are the one who needs to kill something.” she mocked you. You rolled your eyes at her, you didn’t feel the need to kill like Alastor would, but it's been a long time since you sunk your hand into someone's eyeballs. 

You turned your head toward the entrance. He was home.

You smiled when you heard the door being opened. You stood up as you heard him walking into the living room. 

“ How do you always know when he is coming home! Each time, it’s a different hour!” asked Alice, always shocked when you could tell when Alastor was coming home.

“ Good evening, Alice. What an unhappy expecting surprise to you here.” said Alastor with a mocking smile. 

“ Even after all those years, you are still not a gentleman.” 

‘ Only with my wife, right, my love?’

You smiled when you heard Alastor’s thoughts inside your mind. It was a new power you both acquired when you bond your souls togethers. You could talk in each other’s mind which created funny moments.

Be nice, Alastor. Alice is staying for dinner.

‘Of course, she is.’

You walked toward Alastor and kissed his cheeks before going into the kitchen. You have been living together since your honeymoon, buying furnitures, painting the walls. You still haven’t finished one of the bedrooms. 

“ Unfortunately, I think I can’t stay with you for dinner.”

“ What? But I was going to make your favorite dish!” you shouted, going back into the living room with a pan in your hand. “ Did Alastor say something?”

“ Honey…”

“ Do you think he could make me change my opinion?” she raised an eyebrow.

“ Right, so why? Are you still feeling unwell?” 

“No… It’s just…” She sat on the sofa, sighing. You sat next to her, taking her hands while Alastor was looking at her with his usual smile. “ I am pregnant.”

….

“ What?” you said in unison with Alastor.

“ You told me he never forced himself on you!” You stood up, your eyes flashing red. Alice just stared at you in silence. You knew she saw your eyes flashing red multiple times but she never asked you anything about it. 

“ Do you need us to kill him?” asked calmly Alastor.

“ Calm down, the both of you. He didn’t force himself on me. I wanted a child, so this has to happen. He asked me multiple times if this is what I wanted, I said yes. He didn’t do anything bad.” she stood up, taking your hands in hers. “ But there is something worrying me. I think Alyzée is being stalked by someone… She says she feels like she is being watched.”

You looked at Alastor who seemed in deep thoughts. 

What do you think?

‘ Alyzéee is the daughter of the mayor’s who have been in power forever. It’s not surprising.’

Yes, but why now?

‘ That is something we shall need to discover.’

“ We will take a look at it. You, stay at home, we wouldn’t want a future mother to get hurt, right?” he smirked at her.

You looked at Alice.

“ So, you… are pregnant. Is it good news?”

“ Yes, I’m happy.” she put her hands on her belly with a shy smile. “ I’m going to be a mother.”

You screamed in joy before rushing into hugging her. You squeezed her against you, being mindful of her belly even if she was still not showing yet.

“ How long have you known?”

“Maybe… three months?”

You looked at her with a beaming smile.

“ Is it really good news, really?” you grabbed her shoulders. “ Please, do not lie to me.”

“ It is. Alyzée knows and she is happy for me. In a way… We think of it as our child.” She smiled at you, her cheeks flushed.

“ Well, congratulations ladies. This child will be happy to have Alyzée as its mother. I’m not sure about you..”

“ Fuck you, Alastor.”

“ See ?”

You smiled as you hugged her one more time. You walked her toward the door, making sure she was alright. She smiled at you, she seemed really happy about sharing her pregnancy’s news with you. Was she scared you would judge her? You promised her you would protect Alyzée from whatever was stalking her.

“ Nothing will hurt your family.” you said to her. Alice looked at you, taking your hand in yours.

“ You know, you are part of my family as well.” she whispered to you. “ Even Alastor but never let him know that.”

“ I heard you.”

“ Fuck off!” she shouted before looking at you. “ Please, be careful. If you need anything, ask me.”

You nodded before watching her go. You looked as the cab took her home. You went back home, looking at Alastor with an exciting smile. He was looking at you, tilting his head.

“ Why are you so happy?”

“ Alice is going to be a mother! “

“ Poor child.”

“ Alastor.”

You both went into the kitchen, preparing your dinner. If someone were to see the both of you, they would mostly think they were dreaming. You were moving everything you needed in the air with your power, the plates placing themselves on the tables, the vegetables being cut while Alastor was boiling the water.

You smiled when you saw Alastor’s shadow begin, once more, to tease yours. They were fighting each other, you could see them on the wall. You looked at the clock, you weren’t hungry yet…

“ Alastor, should we finish painting the last bedroom?”  you asked, taking off your apron. “ I’m not hungry yet.”

You watched as he looked at his watch and then he nodded, following you upstairs. You walked in and looked at the remaining wall you needed to finish. You took a paintbrush and dept it in the paint. You looked as Alastor took off his vest, staying in a light white shirt. 

You both painted before an idea emerged in your mind. You smirked as you looked at Alastor who was telling you about his day. You took your brush and called his name making him look at you and threw paint on his face.

“ … Are you sure you want to play this game, darling?”

“ What game?” you tilted your head, smiling innocently. Your smile widened when you saw his smirk. 

“ Mhn…”

You yelped when you felt the shadow held you while Alastor was painting your cheeks, smirking at you. You laughed, trying to escape from the shadow. Yours was jumping on Alastor’s, taking it away from you. You looked as both shadows were happily fighting each other. You quickly took paint and threw it at Alastor as he shielded himself with his arms.

You laughed, this life was the one you would protect.

After washing yourself, you went back to the kitchen to finish your cooking. You sat on the table and began eating.

“ How should we find Alyzée’s stalker ? Should we send our shadow?” you asked as Alastor made you eat from his fork.

“ Oh, my love, no.  Do we really need to waste our power for this?” he laughed, waving his hand in the air. “ We need to kill John, remember?” 

“ How could I forget? But right now, he isn’t a threat. The stalker could be, what if he found out about Alice’s relationship?” you asked as he wiped the sauce from your lips. 

“ If this is what you wish for, we shall take care of Alyzée’s stalker. It shouldn’t take long, nor be difficult.” he said as he leaned against his chair. You smiled at him, making him raise an eyebrow at you. “ What?”

“ You are so sure of yourself, I admire that.”

“ Because no one could make me doubt my abilities,” he said before kissing your forehead. “ You should stay with Alyzée, try to see if you feel something when you are with her.”

“ Should I cast an eye on her?” you tilted your head. It was a new power you acquired, you could watch someone. It was like your eyes were watching from above. 

“ You aren’t in full control of it and it’s tiring you faster than your other powers. Just keep Alyzée some company, tell me anything that is strange.”

You nodded, you closed your eyes. It was going to be easy.

—---

“ Yes, Alice told me you would… watch me?”

“ It's just like we are used to, hanging out. I’m just being a little more… watchful while we are together, Alyzée.”

Alyzée was in front of you, her long red hair moving with each movement she made, her deep blue eyes watching you, worried. You really were surrounded by beautiful people.

“ I’m more worried about Alice, I don’t want her to be sick because she is worried for me.” she said as she drank her tea. You looked at her, drinking your hot chocolate. You weren’t very close with Alzyée, she was more of an acquaintance but the conversations were always lovely with her. 

“ Alice is strong, no need to worry. Right now, you might be in danger.” you said to her. She shrugged with a little smile.

“ Nothing that I’m not used to.”

You looked at her, observing her.

“ How is your wedding going, Alyzée?”

“ It is going well. My husband is always out working, which makes me have more time with Alice, so it’s a win-win situation. We don’t really talk to each other, we don’t… really care about each other.  I might be envious of Alice’s wedding, they are like friends.” she said with a sad smile.

“ You know she only loves you.”

“ Oh, I know. I’m not doubting Alice’s affection for me, far from it.” she smiled at you. She put her cup down.

You stared behind Alyzée, a man was now sitting on the table behind her, his hat hiding his face.. You gestured to her to keep talking, fixing your gaze on the man behind you. Was he listening to you? What did he hear? 

“ What about your wedding with Alastor?”

“ I have never been happier.” You smiled at her, still staring at the man. “ And I shall protect this happiness I gain.”

You stood up, guiding Alyzée toward the exit after paying. You told her to walk to Alice’s home, before hiding yourself in a dark alley. If the man was stalking her, he would have to pass in front of you.

You waited patiently in the dark, but you never saw the man you were looking for. Maybe it was just an error from you…

You gasped as you felt yourself being tugged by your hair, your back hitting the floor. You turned your head toward the man who was tugging you deeper into the dark alley. You couldn’t see him at all but you were sure it was the man from the coffee shop, you could feel it. 

Your eyes flashed red, your shadow moving toward the man with a hideous smile. He let you go and you didn’t wait before standing up. You looked around, there was trash all around the alley. That would do. You moved the broken pieces of glass, nails and anything that could hurt, with your mind and threw them at the man who seemed to have escaped your shadow’s wrath.

You shouted in anger as you saw him running into an alley, your flying weapon digging into the wall. You ran after him, screaming at him to stop. As you turned into the alley, you hit something so hard it made you fall back on the hard ground. You moaned in pain, trying to stand up again, you couldn’t let him go, not yet.

“ Put your hands in the air, Police of New Orleans!”

You turned your head toward the light of a flashlight behind you. When you looked back in front of you, the man wasn’t there anymore. You spat blood on the floor, your eyes turning their usual color.

“ Are you okay, lady?”

“ Yes, thank you.” You turned around as the officer brought you in the busy street. You  flinched when you saw the man. “ John, what are you doing here?”

“ There is a serial killer on the loose, we are making patrol.” 

“ From what I heard, the killer murders men, not women.”

“ Can you just thank me? I just saved your life.” John said as he gave you a tissue so you could wipe your bleeding nose.

“ Thank you, officer.” you said sarcastically. “ Can I go home now?”

“ I’ll walk you toward a hospital, to see if you are okay.” You stared at him, as he put his gun back on his hips.  John seemed to have changed, he was more serious, he seemed taller but his gaze hadn’t changed when he was looking at you. 

You sighed as John walked beside you. You were so angry at yourself to have let this man go, you were this close to have him! You wanted to tear off your hair from your head, it was so embarrassing!

‘ Did he do that? Tell me, I’ll kill him right now.’

You stopped walking when you lifted up your head, Alastor was in front of you, it seemed like he had just finished working. 

“ Mr. Felleur, please tell me why my wife is injured, next to you?” he said as he smiled like usual even if you could see anger swirling in his eyes. “ Please, answer me quickly.”

“ Mr.Sanglar, your wife has been attacked by a man, I happened to be there to save her life.” John said as you ran into Alastor’s side. Your husband stared at your face, observing every emotion in your eyes. 

It’s nothing, I think I found Alyzée’s stalker. He seemed more aggressive than I thought.

‘ What about John?’

He came in time to make him flee.

“ Well, Officier Felleur, thank you for bringing my wife to me. I shall take it from here.”

“ I need her to write if she happens to see his face. It could be the serial killer I’m after.”

You tried to hide your smile while Alastor laughed out loud.  Oh, John…

“ Oh right, but I think she would have told you if she saw something, right? But this is not the case. So, if you allow us, we shall go.” He wrapped one arm around your waist before walking away from John who just stared at you.

You looked at the tissue John has given you to wipe your blood off your face.

“ Should I give it back?”

“ No, never give something with your blood on it.”

Alastor walked you back to your car, opened the door for you before settling behind the steering wheel. You waited for him to drive but he stayed silent. You looked at him, curiously.

“ Alastor, my love ?”

You flinched when you saw him punch the steering wheel, grinding his teeth. You stared at him, your eyes wide opened. 

“ I’m okay, darling. I just… didn’t expect to see you hurt.” He said before driving toward your home.

Home…

Wait.

“ Alastor no! Alice and Alyzée are maybe in danger!”

“ Does it look like I care, my love? You are hurt.” he said, his eyes never leaving the road.

“ Alastor, stop the car!” you shouted.

Alastor stopped the car on a deserted road, the one you always used to go home. He looked at you, his smile twitching. Your eyes were red and so was his.

“ Alastor, Alice is pregnant, Alyzée doesn’t know how to fight, they need us! What if the man is already there?”

“ Love of my life, curse of my sanity, Alice's family is the RicheMont. They have maids, butlers, their houses are on the richest quartier of New Orleans. Do you really think a mere human could walk in like that?” he asked you, his grip tightening on the wheel. “ They are safe there, my shadow is watching.”

You looked at Alastor, feeling relieved. 

“ Alastor… A mere human fought me.”

“ You used your powers?”

“ My shadow and Telekinesis.” you sighed, hiding your face in your head. “ But I don’t think he saw it. He was already running away when I used it. I think he must have felt my shadow like vines or something else.. And he ran away when he saw John behind me, the gun must have scared him off.” 

“ I see…” He took your face between his hands, staring at your face before kissing your lips. You sighed against his lips as he tugged you on his laps. “ Are you trying to make me mad, coming at me with blood on your face next to this prick?” he asked against your lips.

“ No…” you breathed against his lips, kissing him more eagerly.  You felt his hands on your waist, his nails digging into your skin through the clothes.  “ I’m just… Angry at myself?”

“ Why?”

“ Because I let my prey run away.” you stared at him, anger still present in your body. He looked at you with an amused expression. He stroked your cheeks while you leaned against his palm. 

“ Not for long… This man hurted you. His death has been decided.” You kissed his lips after his sentence.

“ This is my prey, Alastor, don’t steal it from me.”

“ He hurted you, my love. You can’t ask me to just–” you kissed him once more.

“ Yes, yes, but please, let me kill him in the end.” you smiled at him when you felt him relaxed underneath you. He nodded, sighing with a smile. You kissed his lips once more when you saw his smile and went back to your seat.

Alastor started back the car, driving you home. You walked home and sigh in bliss, nothing was better than being home. You let yourself fall on the sofa, what a day.

You let your husband cook for you as you looked at yourself through the window of the living room. You stood up and walked toward a mirror and saw the bruises on your face. You quickly took off the top of your dress and winced when you managed to see the cut on your back. Was it from when the man dragged you on the floor?

You sighed before concentrating on each cut. You could feel your power healing each cut, even the bruises on your face. This cold energy was seeping through your body, like a sweet caress before taking the pain away.

You opened your eyes, looking at the purple hues that were staring back at you. You saw Alastor watching you through the mirror, his arms crossed on his chest. You tilted your head as he walked toward you. He kissed your bare back, kissing each place a bruise has been made before you healed yourself.

You smiled softly, you wondered if he was aware he was doing the same thing you used to do when he was injured. Kissing his scars… You turned to him when you felt his arms wrapped around you. He kissed your face, his eyes looking at you.

“ Don’t let others injure you my dear. This is my privilege, isn’t it?” he tilted his head, his eyes never leaving your face. You nodded when you felt his nails on your back. You sighed in bliss when you felt his nails dig into your back, the same place where the bruises had been a moment ago.

“ Please…” You looked at him, through half closed eyes. “ Mark me…”

You gasped when you felt him pin you on the table, your chest against the hardwood. You almost whined when you felt the cold blade against your back. You turned your head toward him, begging him with your eyes.

He slid the knife against your skin, tracing the cut you just have healed, the cut that wasn't from him but someone else. You closed your eyes, feeling your body relax. You wondered if it was normal to feel safe when your loved one was cutting your skin, never deep enough to hurt you, to scar you but deep enough to root you, to make you remember who was the one behind this knife. 

You moaned your husband's name as he kissed your neck, feeling the blood sliding from your back. He hummed against your skin, kissing the blood that was coming from the small cuts he made. 

You pushed your behind against his waist. You felt his smile against your skin, as you moaned.

“ I need to feel you…”

“ Mhn.. Really..?” he said, cutting your dress from your legs until he could see your bare form underneath him.

You shivered when you heard him take off his belt. You bit your lip when you felt the blade cutting your skin once more and your eyes rolled back when you felt him penetrate you slowly. You could feel every veins on his penis, your walls clenching around him.

 He kissed your neck as the blade cut your skin once more, his hips pushing against you. You were holding on the table, trying to think. All you could feel was Alastor, inside you, around you. You watched as one of his hands was next to your head, holding himself up with this hand because the other one was busy carving into your skin.

You opened your mouth before biting him hard on the wrist. You heard his breath hitch, before biting harder against his skin when you felt him set a pace that made your eyes rolled back into your skull. 

“ Fuck… !” you heard him moan, making you clench on his member.

You whined, your head swirling with arousal. How you loved when Alastor wasn’t his composed self. 

You bite his forearms once more, your teeth digging into his skin, making him lose his pace, his hips pounding into. You grabbed the end of the table, crying from pleasure, screaming your husband’s name.

I love you.

‘ I love you.’

You came on his member as he dug the knife on your back once more. You felt like the world stopped, keeping your teeth in his arms, your hands gripping at the table, your walls clenching on his shaft, you almost black out when you felt Alastor’s pace getting faster and roughter.

You gasped, breathing once more when you felt Alastor’s weight on your back, his seed filling your womb. You held his hand, trying to root yourself to him, still sensible from your orgasm. You were both panted hard, coming back to yourself.

“ Are you with me, my love…?” Panted Alastor, his hand letting go of the knife and caressing your soft skin. “ Come on, dear…”

“ Yes… Yes… I’m okay..” you squeezed his arms, reassuringly.

He leaned back, after kissing your neck one last time. You sighed when you felt him leaving your warmth. You looked at him as he admired his handiwork on your back.

“ Do you want to heal it?” he asked, stroking your uncut skin.

You softly shook your head with a fond smile.

“ No, I want to feel them a little longer…”

He smiled before leaning down to kiss your lips. You kissed him back, stroking his cheeks with your right hand. How you loved him…

“ After all the killings I have done, you are my best prey,  my love.”

You giggled at his words. You stood up slightly, sighing in bliss when you felt each cut on your skin. What delicious pain your husband had given you…

He kissed your neck with a big smile.

“ Now, how should we trap our next prey?”

Tag List: @lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @sodavizz @boogiemansbitch @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp @t0xic1vi @diamond-almond @fangirlbitch02 @saccharine-nectarine @thenorthnightingale @bibliophile-yomna @itzjustj-1000 @mothraantics @yourdoorisunlocked @phamtasic @karmakillz @holographicage @sarcastic-sourwolf @akuraluna2468 @everwolf-20 @thesunandmoons-blog @songbrita @noraunor @fandomsbookclub @hokkaido97 @catticora @gasiacos

[ronsenthal]

As a fellow gifmaker (only not quite as skilled as you are) I've been struggling and your gifs always look so amazing and nice and colourful so I was wondering if you could share some tips on how do you colour tinted scenes like in MoTA? thank you Jess you are amazing 🤗

heey there!!!! First of all sorry for taking so long to reply to this, I was so happy with your nice comments that I wanted to give you a proper insight on how I do it, but unfortunately I'm quite HORRIBLE at explaining things?

I'll put it under the cut because it's gonna be a long post! but if you have any doubts my askbox is always open!!!!

So first of all I already gave some tips on how does my process with coloring gifs work so you can check it on my resources and tips tag

As you said you are also a fellow gifmaker so I'll take it from there as I assume you already know gif 101, but if you are new to this you can again check my tag for some beginners tips

Also want to point out this lovely tutorial by @ajusnice that might be even more helpful, since I learned a lot from it

Disclaimer: i'm colorblind, I can see all the hues, just not all the shades and I tend to struggle with greens, oranges and yellows so apologies for any mistakes or if this turns out looking weird!

HOW TO COLOR TINTED SCENES????

So at this point I hope you already have you gif all cut down to the size that you want and used your fav action/sharpening presets ( I use this or this actions to sharpen my gifs

Now I'll use the footage down bellow as it is really blue tinted and I worked with it for this gifset (MoTA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!) so it looks like this

3. So the first thing I do is work with curse as it gives me a better grasp of what I have and how do I want to go with it. I have been using this method where you go to Curves >> Click on the top right menu >> Auto Options

4. Now a new window thing will open up and then I click on the option Find Dark and Light Colors, as you can see my gif already looks a lot brighter and now so tinted

5. this is how my gif looks like I selected that option

6. still does look a little blue-ish doesn't it? Okay so now I'll go to some adjustment layers, the first thing I do is work with hue/saturation. I'll go to the cyans and blues first and I want to remove some of the blue tint of my scene. I prefer to decrease the saturation of those colors so it looks a bit like this

and my gif looks like this

7. So here is our first problem, while I took away the blues my gif now looks a little dull as the scene was delivered to us in such a different color scheme, It wasn't supposed to look like this so now we need to color correct!! For this I work my way around vibrance/saturation so my menu looks like this

And my gif looks like this

8. Problem #2 because now it looks too blue tinted AGAIN! so I just repeat step 6 again so my menus look like this

and my gif looks like this

9. from now on it's only about some details such as correct the brightness/contrast of the scene and I personally like to use the color balance adjustment layer, I'll leave it all here

10. finally one of my fav adjustment layers -> SELECTIVE COLOR i just mess around until it looks nice to me, I'll leave the configs I used down bellow

Finally after all those steps my gif looks like this

[oh-austin]

going method, part two (austin butler)

summary: you're playing priscilla presley in the new elvis biopic, when your co-star asks you if you would like to date him during the filming of the movie to better understand elvis and priscilla's relationship.

word count: 3,206

authors note / warnings: no warnings! the love on the last part was insane!! we even have a tag list going which is crazy to me!!! if you would like to be added, send me an ask here (off of anon) and let me know <3 here's the second part, I hope you all love it.

series masterlist / previous + next part

───── ∘◦❀◦∘

It had been a week since the contract was first signed. A week of Austin getting you coffee and a week of you making sure he consumed at least two meals in a day of shooting. 

Austin and you were comfortable around each other, small kisses on the head and your cheek broke the tension pretty easy. However, created tension between you both in other ways.

Baz was on board with the ‘method acting’ idea. He already gaged that Austin was incorporating aspects of Elvis into his everyday life, but his leads dating to increase their on-screen chemistry? Borderline genius. He was happy to have two days free days set aside for production meetings, meaning that his romantic leads could spend their weekend together.

So on Sunday afternoon, you showed up at Austin’s apartment on the beachfront of Queensland. The idea of being jealous of the size of Austin’s apartment compared to yours crossed your mind, but you shut it down pretty quickly. He’s the lead, he’s the star; he deserves it. To be completely honest, you understood wanting to give Austin lots of luxuries. He could ask for your apartment and you would gladly hand the keys over. Austin was beginning to shamelessly take hold of you, not that you were opposed. 

The receptionist of the building must have been told that you were coming, she used your surname and referred to you as 'Miss' when addressing you. Austin had prepared for your arrival, sweet really.

Austin's apartment resided on the top floor of the building, the elevator ride was excruciatingly longer than you would have liked, but once it was over you were eager to see Austin.

Since he fixed your tire last week, he would ask to drive behind you when you left set at the same time. He claimed to be worried, said you would need someone to change it again if you popped it. You knew he was just being a gentleman, something you had come to learn Austin is.

On set the other day, your shoelace came undone inbetween takes. He got down on his knee in front of you and did it up for you, kissing your cheek gently once he got back up. "I knotted it twice for you, mama". You could have melted into a puddle then and there. Austin had the tendency of giving you butterflies, ones that prided themselves on pooling in the bottom of your stomach.

They were still there as you stood in front of his door. You fixed your bag on your shoulder nervously as you waited for him to answer. You wondered if the way you knocked was stupid, then rolled your eyes at yourself.

When the door opened, Austin was there in a white shirt and grey sweatpants- a look you never imagined could look so simple but so.. sexy? He looked amazing. "Hey!" He smiled, he looked genuinely happy to see you which eased your nerves.

"Hi," You finally let go of the breath you didn't know you were holding in, "I brought stuff for dinner-" You held up the green 'woolworths' bag in your hand- "I didn't know if you had anything here,"

"You didn't think I had food?" He leant against the doorframe, then crossed his arms over his chest. "Should I be insulted?"

"No!" You panicked, "I just- I didn't know if-"

You stopped rambling once Austin began to chuckle at you. "When you've stopped being nervous, you can come inside"

Your mouth dropped open slightly, "I'm not nervous," You argued. You really were.

"Yeah," He nodded, "Sure," He walked inside. You hesitated out in the hall for a little bit before finally stepping inside. It was a really nice place, big windows that looked over Surfers Paradise. Austin had three hefty looking suitcases around the room, one of them open with clothes hanging out it. "I'm gonna clean up in here also, I promise your boyfriend isn't messy,"

You chuckled, playing with the bag strap in your hand. "Your girlfriend's place isn't much better," You admitted, "Looks just the same,"

"I'll take that," Austin came over and took the grocery bag from you, "Go sit in the living room and I'll get dinner going,"

"You cook?" Your eyebrows raised in shock. He looked offended, a hand flew to his chest.

"Are you kidding?" He asked, "I'm a good cook!" He protested. Austin looked through the green bag and then pulled out the vegetables you had bought. "You however, don't strike me as one," He pointed at you with a zucchini.

"I dabble," You shrugged. You left Austin in the kitchen and strolled your way into the living room. You laughed a little when you walked in. Austin managed to have set up a record player on the coffee table in the centre of the room, but had yet to unpack his suitcases.

You sat on the plush couch, picking up the stack of records Austin had abandoned on the table. Record after record, you couldn't find anything but Elvis. He was so dedicated to the film, it made you feel safe- you knew the film would be brilliant because of him.

You picked a greatest hits vinyl, before putting it down and placing the needle. The first song to play was 'Stuck On You'. "Ooh!" Austin yelled, it sounded like he smacked the counter-top at the same time, "I love this one," You stretched your neck out to see him through the cut out in the kitchen wall.

Austin was dancing in the kitchen while he cut up vegetables for dinner. It really was a sight, comforting to see Austin so relaxed. "Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall," He sang, his voice changed to sound like Elvis. You wondered how many hours of practice he put in to sound so similar.

You went back to join him in the kitchen, sitting yourself up on the counter next to Austin. "Ain't gonna do you no good at all" He looked up at you whilst he sung. It was jarring how close to Elvis he sounded, but you wondered how he sang when he wasn't being Elvis- when he was just Austin.

"What're you making?" You leant over his hand, to grab a piece of carrot he had chopped up.

"Careful," He said softly whilst moving your hand back towards you, "This knife is sharp, don't get too close-" Austin turned around and shuffled his way through various cupboards. When he finally found what he was looking for, he had a small bowl in hand. "Here," He whispered, putting a small handful of carrots in the bowl and handing it to you.

"Thank you," You smiled. He continued to sing to you as he made his way through various vegetables, looking up when he shimmied his chest at you- making you laugh. When you offered to help, he insisted he was happy to do it alone. You let him. Maybe having everyone run after you and fulfil your every wish on set got old, it would've been nice to do something on his own.

Austin, true to his word, made dinner all on his own. All whilst dancing in the kitchen to Elvis with you and trying his best to not slip on the marble floors. You both sat on the carpet in the living room, ignoring the perfectly good couch as you ate the the vegetable casserole he made you. Austin was right, he was a good cook.

"Okay," You put your empty bowl up on the table, "What is your favourite-" You hesitated as you thought- "Book? Like ever,"

Austin sat up against the coffee table, chuckling as it moved backwards under his weight. "Probably," He squinted, "'What we say when we think about love'," You looked at him with a confused gaze, "It's like a bunch of short stories, great book-" He stood up and walked over to one of the suitcases on the floor- "You can read it, tell me what you think,"

Austin came back, book in hand and passed it to you. It looked like a worn copy, second hand possibly- or maybe Austin was well-read. He looked like he could be. "What's yours?"

"I'm a sucker for anything by Taylor Jenkins Reid," You told him, "I have one of her books in my trailer, I'll give it to you tomorrow,"

"Okay," He nodded, "It'll probably take me longer to read it compared to this one," He tapped the top of the book that rested in your lap. "You could probably read this one six times by the time I finished yours," He chuckled. He wasn't wrong, it was only a small book. "Favourite holiday?" He grabbed the dishes and stacked your bowl on top of his.

"Christmas," You told him, "You?"

"I love Halloween," He looked almost embarrassed, "Me and my old girlfriend used to go hard for Halloween," Austin nodded.

"Halloween isn't really a thing in Australia, so you might have to go without this year," You told him.

"I know!" He scoffed, "I'm actually so bummed out about it,"

You and Austin went back and forth asking each other random questions for the next hour or so. Talking about everything and anything. What was his favourite job he's had? His favourite colour? The best part of his hometown? The least lucky number? It was 23 by the way.

He found out things you had never told anyone before. That when you were ten you hid your Mom's wedding ring from her for two weeks. Or how in school you talked the girl you didn't like into singing in the talent show because she couldn't carry a tune. The little secrets you had collected over the years felt safe with Austin.

"So you were a mean girl?!" He exclaimed, the sounds of Suspicious Minds played in the background. "Oh my god!"

"I was not!" You protested, "She was the worst, she used to say I looked like a donkey!"

"So you decided to show everyone that she sounded like one," He nodded with a grin.

"Exactly," You agreed, "If anything I was doing her a favour. Showed her that she should never take up a career in performing," You laughed. "I think she's an accountant now," You told him, chuckling as you took another sip of your drink.

"Can't believe my girlfriend was a mean girl," He sat up with a sigh and a smile.

"Oh, whatever," You shook your head. Austin watched you as you took another sip of your drink. The sun had set and the stars in the sky were coming through the window softly, the moonlight looked good on your skin, he thought. You put your glass down before yawning into your hands.

He took note of the clock on the wall, it was getting late. He didn't realise how much time had passed as you sat together talking. "Come on," Austin stood up and held out his arms to you. You smiled up at him before taking his hand, he helped you up from the ground.

"I'll just go grab my stuff and then I'll get set up out here," He picked the dishes up from the coffee table.

"Out here?" You asked him, Austin took note of how when you were confused you tilted your head.

"Yeah, I can take the couch," He nodded, now rinsing the bowls in the kitchen sink, "You can have the bedroom,"

You looked over at him dumbfounded. He washed the bowls for you both and left them on the drying rack before doing the cutlery. You turned off the tap, "Austin-" He looked up at you- "We can sleep in the same bed,"

"I just didn't know if you would want to," He shrugged, "And if you're not, I'll sleep out here. I really am fine with it, promise". He dried his hands off before leading you both to the bathroom. The tiles were cold against your bare feet.

"Hey," You stopped him as he went to grab a new toothbrush for you, "I'm pretty sure Elvis never slept on Priscilla's couch," You put your hand on top of his. Austin held your gaze, the silence you were in felt comfortable.

"Okay," He said in a soft voice, "Are you sure?"

"Very sure," You nodded. Austin smiled at you before handing you your toothbrush. "I'm going to go get my face wash," You told him.

"You brought your face wash?" He spoke, now a mouth full of toothpaste.

"Yeah! I'm not an animal," You called out to him. When you came back you started brushing your teeth with him. Austin began to sway as you both looked at yourselves in the wall mirror. His hip purposely bumped yours, making you laugh. You bumped his hip back, he got you again before spitting out his toothpaste.

"I want to do it," He picked up the bottle of your face wash, looking at the back. You tried to speak to him as you brushed your teeth, but he softly shushed you. "I've got this,"

Austin read the instructions of your oil cleanser before pumping two small drops onto his fingers. "Are you okay with me touching your face?" He asked, his eyes wide. He really was a puppy. You nodded in response.

Austin took a deep breath before softly massaging the oil into your cheeks and forehead. He manoeuvred around your toothbrush as best he could, trying to evenly use the oil. Once you had spit your toothpaste out his job became increasingly easier.

Austin looked at the next instruction as you laughed at him, "I need a towel". Austin opened the bottom cupboard and pulled out a small flannel before dampening it. As he softly washed your face with the flannel, you couldn't help but admire Austin up close. He had a small beauty mark on the left side of his face and his cupid's bow looked delicately crafted.

"Staring?" Austin asked you with raised eyebrows.

"Always," You shot back. He chuckled, seeming taken back by your quick response. When Austin was done, you splashed your face with water as per the last instruction. "Happy with your work?" You asked him.

"Are you?" He laughed.

"Feels fine," You nodded, "Come on, I'm tired"

You went to get your bag as Austin went into the bedroom. When you returned, he had been changed into another t-shirt, this one looking more worn than the last. You pulled out your pyjamas, a pair of shorts and t-shirt.

"Um," You fiddled with them in your hands, "Could you turn around for a sec?" Austin nodded instantly, turning around and facing the corner of the room. You pulled your clothes off gently and put them back in your bag. You struggled to unclip your bra momentarily, but got it eventually.

Would Austin be weird if you didn't wear a bra to bed? You contemplated putting it back on, but knew you were overthinking it. Deciding to get dressed before you could change your mind, you told Austin he could turn back around.

Austin put his phone on charge before getting in bed. "Excuse me, Mr Butler,"

"Yes?" With his head rested on the pillow and crisp white sheets over his chest, he looked so comfortable.

"As per our agreement," You crossed your arms at him, "I actually sleep on the left side,"

He laughed, "Of course," He moved across to the right side, "I apologise,"

"Good," You hopped under the covers where Austin previously was, "Don't let it happen again," You turned to him with a blank expression before turning the lamp off, leaving the bedroom completely dark.

Austin let a laugh out of his nose before speaking, "Goodnight Y/N,"

"Night Austin," You said quietly before turning on your side. You heard Austin take in a deep breath before he let it go again.

"Sweet dreams, Mamas,"

─── ∘◦❀◦∘

When Austin woke the next morning, he was left with an empty bed. His first thought was that you had left, but when he saw your bag still by the door and heard Elvis coming from down the hall- his heartbeat finally slowed.

Austin rubbed his eyes as he walked down to the kitchen. There you were, listening to Viva Las Vegas and cooking him breakfast. "Viva Las Vegas," You sang softly, doing the choreography that Y/N had watch Polly teach Austin earlier this week.

"We should stick you in a wig and you can do it," Austin spoke.

"Oh my god, Austin!" You shouted as you jumped. You sunk down the floor as you regained your breath.

"Oh my baby," He laughed coming over to you, "Are you okay? I didn't mean to frighten' you,"

"I'm okay," You panted, "Oh my god," You stood back up and went back to making breakfast.

"What're you doing?" Austin asked, leaning over your shoulder to see what was in the pan.

"Making you breakfast," You said like it was obvious, "Because if I don't, you won't and then you won't eat until I make you eat," You turned around to look up at him. Austin nodded at you.

"Fair enough," He smiled, "Thank you," He placed a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Do you want to get coffee on the way to work?" He leant himself against the counter, "I'll buy,"

"Yeah course," You nodded.

"Then I can finally figure out what coffee you like," He crossed his arms with a smirk.

"I like the mystery of not knowing what kind of coffee will appear in my trailer," You admitted to him. You weren't lying, Austin always made sure it was something different.

You both ate breakfast together, this time at the table- Elvis still playing in the background. You realised that you would both need to rush to get to set for Austin's call time. You told him you would just shower on set, your call time being later than his.

So after Austin showered, you managed to leave with enough time to grab a coffee on the drive over. He paid for both of them and drove you both in.

The drive was great, Elvis playing again. You were sure that after the movie had been shot, you would never want to hear another Elvis song again- but at the moment, you were fine with it.

Arriving on set, Austin got out of the car before you. You turned around to the back seat to grab your bag, Austin had already opened your car door for you when you were done.

"What time do you finish today?" He asked, holding his arm out to help you down.

"I think we're both done at four," You grabbed hold of his arm as you hopped out of the car, thanking him afterwards. "Would you mind taking me back to your place so I can get my car after?"

"I was planning on it," He smiled at you.

As you both walked into set together, you felt Austin's hand brush lightly against yours. You tried to pay no mind to it, but when Austin intertwined his fingers with yours and held your hand, it was all you could think about.

─── ∘◦❀◦∘

@rainydayz101 @sammybutler @klizzie93 @rockerchick05 @fanatics30 @sh-aniah @little-rythmix

[protectingtulpas]

were an endo system, but we were wondering what a tulpa is! So we found a tulpa blog to ask! Currently cal and rose fronting!

Heyo, nice to meet ya Cal and Rose! You've come to the right place, cuz I'm what you're looking for! Thanks for choosing me to get info from!

A tulpa is a type of headmate under the created system umbrella, and we're also generally considered a type of thoughtform, which is any entity manifested by practice of consistent thought and focus on them. That's a broad category that includes everything from tulpas to some deities!! A tulpa is a thoughtform created in a singular body via a person's consistent focusing on their presence, talking to them, and treating them like a person, until they start to respond back and act on their own! Tulpas are individuals and we can learn to drop back into our headspace (the tulpa community calls 'em Wonderlands!), front with the host/creator's trust, and even more! It all takes practice and dedication. I've personally been here for almost 4 years now- my birthday is comin up the 23rd!

Some tulpas are more metaphysical, some are psychological, but it's the same mental processes either way! Psychologically, someone might say you're training the mental processes in your head to act independently, building up a habit until that psychological process begins to act separately and develop on its own, forming their own identity and personhood. Metaphysically, it's a very similar concept, but you're instead working with, coalescing, and forming mental energy into a new being. Either way, "tulpamancy" is still the term used for the process, and a "tulpamancer" is the person performing it. (It's also worth noting that tulpamancy is NOT the same process as the Tibetan Buddhist practice it has etymological roots in, and even the word itself and the "-mancy" suffix are entirely different than the term for the related practice. There are some that combine practices, though! We've seen a couple Buddhist Tulpamancers.)

I've always felt different than the other system members of other origins here, and the other new tulpa around I was just helping out working on gets it too. My identity, who I am at my core? That's my choice. I get to decide who I am - when I wanted to be a demon? I decided to be one. I focused on my own mindform until I was able to change it. I'm also way better at communication than some of our other members, like our soulbond with an exotraumagenic subsystem or host's median members. I can transfer info when others can't! It's pretty cool.

Hope this answers your questions! I've actually got further readings I can link to, so go ahead and give a look at these!

Tulpa.info - What is a tulpa?

Tulpa's Guide to Tulpamancy v4 - a guide and study into tulpas written by a tulpa like me!

The Tulpanomicon is the biggest collection of guides available - click the lefthand list to see it all organized by category! We've even been able to use a lot of these fronting/possession & imposition methods for non-tulpa headmates too!

Things tulpas can and can't do, by me!

[deviljesterlamb]

Horrible idea hit me? pff

Warning: death, poisoning and Solomon just being Solomon but more darker this time? lol

Imagine Solomon is self aware his cooking could kill someone if unlucky enough...But what if he decides to take advantage of this one day...

Especially when he learns someone hurt his dear MC so much, it emotionally/mentally scarred them for life.

So he decides to make the best meal he can make for this person. Fit for a king you could say. Only this time, it looks perfectly normal and delicious.

After serving the person his cooking, stating this was to say thanks for being such a good friend to MC in the past. He leaves the room for a moment, lying about going to get some drinks. But stays by the door to wait for things to play out as he planned.

He'll start to hear the poor fool who dared to harm his adorable apprentice, now start to choke and struggle to breathe. Then fall out of their seat and struggle to move while suffering slowly yet painfully on the ground.

Solomon will soon come back into the room where the person now lays motionless and silent on the ground, they are still breathing but just barely. It's clear now they are already at death's door.

He'll look down at them with a fake frown and sigh. "Oh my...Was my cooking that GOOD that it's to DIE for? I guess I should feel honored." He'll chuckle, then lean down to get a better look at them, while a sinister smile is on his face.

"I'm sure you're wondering why this is happening?...Though I'm sure you can guess why. After all...I brought up MC didn't I?...I know what you did to them...Also count yourself lucky I was the one to learn of this first before the seven brothers learned of this news too. Else you wouldn't be taking a more less insufferable way out."

Solomon pauses for a moment, closing his eyes to think for a second. "Then again...Making you suffer more would be nice...But I know a human body can only take so much pain and torture until they finally give up and die. Which is why I chose this method to take care of you..."

He'll open his eyes again to look at the person, who was about to finally leave this life. "Though this won't be the last time we'll see each other I'm sure...At least I hope not...You see, if I heard things correctly. You attempted to make a deal with a demon before...which you believed to have failed. Though I got word it didn't..." At that moment, the person's eyes widen in fear at that news. "Your soul, is destined to go to a place I personally know very well...and that demon you made a deal with? Just so happens to be one I have a pact with. So you see, we'll be seeing each other again very soon."

Solomon closes his eyes again and sighs with a frown. "But I can't have you lurking around there while I know my sweet apprentice often resides there now. Which is why once I learn of your arrival there, which that demon has swore to me to make me aware of...or else...I'll be having a important meeting with the future king of that realm about you. To make him aware of how your presence there will upset MC very much...Which he'll understand and agree with right away I'm sure. For he too cherishes MC very much as well."

Solomon will realize the person stopped breathing now, and now was dead. "Ah...Seems I talked you to death. What a shame...Now...I need to dispose of this body. Luckily I know of a demon who should be able to help with this, who I'm sure is quite hungry right now..."

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Helloo there, I hope you had a nice new year!

I'm an INTP here, and I need some guidance on how I can handle cultivating more empathy and social skills. I've had a lack of empathy since I was young. I am not sure what triggered it or led to it. But It's hard for me to form proper connections with people as a result.

When I was younger, I was a silent kid because i had almost no interest in socializing. I've noticed an issue where i was extremely selfish or cruel. For example, around the age of 6 to 12, I would get a sort of gratification when I purposely made my friend sad, I would find tiny reason to break of the friendship, and feel no remorse to it. I treated people more like experiments than friends. The only major fear I had was towards authority figures such as teachers.

Another thing I've noticed is that I have no strong recollection of good/bad memories. I can not remember the times I have been emotionally hurt or happy memories. The only major emotions I show are annoyance, happiness, and sadness if something happened to me only and never for anyone else.

I also find it hard to remember any important details of conversations and how I talked with people. Leading to fights because they bring up something i did, which i can not recall. My conversations are dull, I can't seem to generate emotions naturally. It feels like I have to fake every expression at times, as friends have previously called me a robot, due to my monotone behaviour.

I also find it hard to speak without saying something awkward and unfit for the conversation. It seems like my thoughts are many degrees away from the original path of the conversation. While everyone else can talk smoothly and reply in a way that continues the conversations, my replies fall flat and end with an awkward laugh.

As you might be able to guess, my friendships are quite shallow and unfulfilling, too. I often find it a chore to maintain relationships, almost taking an extreme amount of energy to reply to a text. Even if the other person has a keen interest in me.

But I still so desire good friendships, I keep myself cheerful and smiley, so that people don't turn off from me at first glance.

I've noticed these traits so often and spiralled down into sadness, believing that I might be sociopathic and that I am intrinsically a bad person. (I am prone to victim mentality, which made it worse).

It's only after I reached college and got into a failed relationship that I've consciously tried to fix myself. I've realised what an unfulfilling and selfish life I've been living.

I've tried living in the moment, trying to feel peoples emotions, putting in effort, listening more, trying to converse more, approach people, and, in general, involve myself in the class. But all it takes is one bad mood for me to undo all my progress and turn silent again.

My feelings of insecurity and envy have been raised, too, as my ex is now dating someone who is empathetic, sensitive, and socially adept.

I want to know

How to get out of this constant rut of motivation and failure to change.

How to live in the moment and talk, getting over the fear that I will say something unfit.

How to be more empathetic in general.

How to be more secure inside so that i can focus more outside and on my friendships.

---------------------

Lack of empathy or empathy deficit is a complicated topic in psychology, so this might be a lot for you to process. Yes, empathy can be conceptualized as a skill to improve and build up through learning and practice. However, like any skill, some people will have more genetic aptitude with it than others, so some people struggle with it more than others.

It sounds like you've already done some research and tried a few techniques with meh results. Unfortunately, your way of working toward a solution is very slow because you still don't know the "why". It's hard to solve a problem when you don't know the root cause because then the only method available to you is trial-and-error. It can indeed become very discouraging when you get error after error or don't see any meaningful progress.

Empathy deficit can be thought of as a symptom, which means there are many possible psychological issues/disorders that can give rise to it. It might benefit you to get assessed by a mental health professional with expertise about empathy deficit. It's important to investigate what lies behind it in order to discover the right way to address it.

For example, both autism and narcissism can produce empathy deficit but the mechanisms that impede empathy development are very different when you compare the two, so the treatment plans would end up looking very different once you tailor them to each individual's needs. Some people lack empathy simply because they have never been loved by anyone due to growing up in an environment of extreme neglect. Having never felt love, they don't know what it is and of course don't know how to show it.

One reason empathy deficit is a thorny subject is because of social stigma, especially since it often gets associated with psychopathy or sociopathy as you mentioned. Many psychologists don't use these labels because of the stigma and because they are imprecise. When a psychological term is widely used by the general public, it starts to lose meaning or the meaning gets extremely fuzzy, which renders it less and less useful for diagnostic purposes. People think "psychopath" and they picture a serial killer, which isn't helpful.

Personally, I'm even wary of using the word "disorder" because it often leads people to believe they are somehow "broken"; the way they behave is "wrong" and has to be changed to the "right" way. While some psychological problems should be called a disorder, I personally don't believe that empathy deficit itself should be, unless it is accompanied by dysfunctional behavior that indicates the presence of a serious mental disorder.

My understanding of empathy deficit is that it's more like a "disability", similar to blindness or deafness. What's the advantage of approaching empathy deficit as a disability? A) It's not your fault that your brain has low aptitude for empathy, so shame is completely unwarranted. B) A disability is something you can come to comfortably accept as a part of you, but also something you need to learn to adapt to, in order to live a fuller life. Thus, the question isn't "what's wrong with me?" but rather "how can I adapt better to having this disability?"

Empathy isn't an on/off switch. There are degrees of empathy. Some people have minimal to no empathy. Some people have too much empathy. Most people fall somewhere in the middle of having empathy much of the time but still capable of acting like a selfish jerk some of the time.

The way INTPs approach the world tends to be conceptual and intellectual, so it might help you to approach empathy in more cognitive rather than emotional terms. The most basic way to explain empathy is the ability to conceptualize/visualize another person's mind and understand what's going on in there. There are many paths to reaching that understanding, so psychologists distinguish between different kinds of empathy:

Affective empathy or emotional empathy is about sharing someone else's feelings and emotions. For instance, people with normal empathy would feel sad upon seeing their friend feeling sad about their dog dying. By sharing feelings and emotions with someone, it can lessen their burden and help them feel better. Expressing empathy in this way is a common method of showing how much you care about someone's well-being. When people talk about empathy deficit, it is usually affective empathy they are referring to. Try as they might, some people just can't muster enough care or concern about others.

Another kind of empathy is cognitive empathy, which is basically about modeling someone else's mind. Ti+Ne might help you with this. You could take your own experience and try to extrapolate from it to understand someone else.

For example, do you feel anything when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, such as ask how you're doing, give you a gift, or answer a question for you online? People with normal empathy would feel warmth, appreciation, gratitude, closeness/intimacy, care, love, or a sense of mattering. If you feel good when someone does something nice for you, you can extrapolate from it and guess that someone else may also feel good when you do something nice for them. This is the rationale behind the common advice of treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Even if you aren't capable of feeling good when someone does something nice for you, you can still observe that it is a common phenomenon in the general population. Therefore, you can deduce, through empirical investigation of cause and effect, that people doing nice things for each other is an important aspect of maintaining good relations. This can then be turned into a good principle or practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you have to occasionally do nice things for them (so that they can feel justified in continuing the friendship)." You don't have to use your own emotion to arrive at good principles of action; you can also use logic and common sense to get a similar result.

Empathy is also closely linked to compassion, which is about taking action in accordance with empathic feelings. For example, seeing a friend get injured on the street, it isn't enough to just stand there and feel for them, right? Feeling bad for them should also prompt you to take action to help or save them from further injury or death.

If you can't feel bad for people who are injured, you can still understand, intellectually, that it's not a great situation. Instead of acting on empathic feelings you don't have, you could act out of logic and common sense, knowing that, universally, nobody likes to lie there vulnerable and bleeding on the street. Once again, this could lead you to create a principle/practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you should take action whenever they need help."

If you're not capable of affective empathy, you are still capable of cognitive empathy as long as you are of normal intelligence. Most people rely more on affective than cognitive empathy. However, since you suffer this "disability" of not being able to generate enough affective empathy, you could rely more on cognitive empathy as an adaptation.

Maybe it's impossible for you to become the beloved social butterfly wowing everyone with your charisma, but you can still form meaningful relationships with a handful of people. When you meet a good candidate for friendship, be open and honest about your challenges, then they will know to show you more empathy and patience. As long as you're willing to put out some effort for them, they will return it. Relationships require reciprocity.

This brings us to the last point of "effort", which relates to motivation. Motivation often arises from emotionality; people have a strong desire or feel strongly about something, so they take action. What happens when your feelings and emotions are too muted to motivate action?

Human beings are motivated by a great number of things. The motivation to connect with other people is but one of them. In many cases, empathy deficit doesn't mean a person is incapable of empathizing. It's more precise to say that they can empathize but the motivation is too easily overridden by other conflicting motivations.

To give you a simple example, maybe you just worked a long day on your feet and you're utterly exhausted. You get on the bus to go home and there's only one seat left that's reserved for the disabled or elderly. You take it because no one else wants it. Later, a very frail old man gets on the bus and eyes your seat. What do you do? Many people, out of empathy, would yield the seat. A low empathy person can still feel bad for the old man. The issue is that their empathy level isn't strong enough to override the more pressing motivation to rest.

Oftentimes in relationships, you are faced with a dilemma of having to choose between yourself and others. Instead of thinking of it in terms of "I only care about me and I don't care about them", you can think of it like this:

I have multiple motivations. 1) I want to do what I want to do. 2) But I also want to keep this person as my friend. Just because motivation 1 is always stronger than 2 doesn't mean I always have to choose that way.

Since my feelings and emotions are muted, I do not have the mental resources to satisfy all of my motivations all of the time. I must ensure that I am not too otherwise stressed/taxed when trying to socialize. And I must calculate which motivation is most worthwhile to follow based on the situation.

When faced with a social dilemma, I must analyze which motivation is going to lead me to a better outcome via weighing the pros and cons objectively. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking care of my own needs. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking action to keep my friend. In some situations, I can be super smooth and efficient and do something that will benefit both of us at the same time. Make the smartest choice given the circumstances.

Taking some extra time to think through possible outcomes helps you make better social decisions (and develop Ne properly). Just like a visually impaired person has to put out effort to read braille or a hearing impaired person has to put out effort to use sign language, you must put out some effort to learn adaptations that will help you participate better in relationships and social situations.

You don't have to overthink. You can learn about people through observation and asking them simple questions. You can follow some basic principles like: compliment people when they do something good; offer help on occasion; say please and thank you; etc. Perhaps read about social etiquette to learn some good rules of thumb. Perhaps study communication skills so that you can express yourself more effectively.

An important aspect of maintaining motivation is regularly getting good results along the way. As INTP, you should be good at analyzing past mistakes for lessons to learn, in a scientific or experimental way. Try something and it doesn't work, don't do it again. Something worked well, try it again. It only works some of the time? Isolate the relevant factors to predict which situations it's more likely to work. You've obviously made some progress since childhood because you now actually care about this issue enough to feel bad and reach out for guidance. When feeling down, people tend to fixate on failure and it's easy to lose sight of all the little improvements achieved. Make sure to review the things you've done well, no matter how small, as a way to keep your motivation up.

Although empathy is an important ingredient in relationships, there are still ways to proceed without it. As long as you have some motivation to socialize, no matter how small or muted, there is hope to build something more out of it. Use those feelings of loneliness, regret, or sadness you just told me about to enhance your motivation and your desire to live your life in a better way (as opposed to wallowing in negativity).

You don't have to be "noble" and take action for others purely because you care deeply about them. Maybe it's enough to do it as a thank you to them for sticking around to make your life more fulfilling. It's not a competition of "me vs them", so don't think of relationships as a "sacrifice". By making them happy, you also make yourself happy, because you get to have a friend. Fe teaches you that good relationships should be win-win, even when you care more about your win than theirs.

[oneatlatime]

The Storm

This post was delayed due to dumbass technical issues. I managed to save it from annihilation by the skin of my teeth, and learned an important lesson about saving drafts along the way.

Long time no blog. As it's currently storming where I am, I feel it's time to watch this one.

Aang in the opening credits has his tongue out like a dog on a car ride. Now picturing a car full of airbenders hanging their heads out the window.

It's been long enough since I watched one of these that I forgot that dream sequences tend to be tinted brown. Had a two second panic trying to remember the episode where Sokka learned airbending.

I wanted to see more of Gyatso but not like this!

Appa the morning person.

Hey Zuko's back. Haven't seen him in a few episodes. Pipi Longstocking hair is still doing him no favours. Also is he really pale this episode?

I feel like Zuko's intelligence varies wildly from episode to episode (usually to serve the plot) but this may be a new depth of dumbness: tell the crew to their faces that their lives don't matter. You know, the crew that prevents the thing you're standing on in the middle of the ocean from sinking. The crew that keeps you fed and actually going somewhere. That crew.

On the other hand, Zuko's method for creating mutiny may break a world record for efficiency. He's such a dumb smart guy.

I'm with Katara on this one. I don't like that swishing either. And if they're out of money, why were they in a market anyway?

And with a kick to the rear, this episode's 'violence towards Sokka for laughs' quota is filled.

Never before in the history of humanity's hubristic quest to tame the seas has a wharf ever been this clean.

And I'm with the crewman on this one too. Zuko's actions really do line up with him not caring about anything beyond his own concerns.

Talk about rock and a hard place for Iroh here. From what I've gathered, it's Zuko's ship, which means that Zuko's in charge of everything including keeping order. But, Zuko is also being unreasonable in the face of a very reasonable complaint from the crew. So Iroh has to pacify both while undermining neither, and not appear to be in command. Takes delicacy.

Appa gets a mooring! Also what is that cave back there?

I was hoping the show would bring this up! To anyone who isn't riding along on Aang's adventures, it sure does look like the Avatar disappeared when he was needed most, continued to stay gone no matter how bad things got, and then just reappeared randomly one day with seemingly no plan to set set things right. Did he reappear to fight the firelord? According to rumour, he reappeared to ride giant koi. What would the average person be left thinking? The fisherman is right. And Katara - will you please let Aang fight his own battles for once in his life?

Aang being the bravest person you know? Do you not remember this?

You know, this?

"That fisherman was way out of line."

Poor guy needs a blow dry. Should be possible, what with airbending and all. Didn't know that Appa had a goatee. Actually the facial hair in general in this show is pretty creative.

If this is going to be the exposition dump storytelling episode, we may all need an emotional support Momo.

These air scooter shenanigans are making me think that the first lesson airbenders learn is how to nullify motion sickness.

Is this the first airbending we see by someone that isn't Aang or Appa?

Someone's been taking fashion tips from Narcissa Malfoy.

Oh fuck off that's too much pressure for a kid. Nice Wisteria though.

Isn't the toys thing a thing in the real world? Something to do with the Dalai Lama?

If Avatars have to be told that they're the Avatar, that implies that they don't know instinctively. Theoretically, could an isolated avatar living in peace time go their whole lives without figuring it out?

Oh wise and learned council of airbenders, please tell me how relying on a 12 year old is going to save you from a war?

Baby Zuko! Baby scarless Zuko! He looks like just the prettiest little princess in these shots. Also, either this happened not all that long ago, or Zuko is majorly overdue a growth spurt, because he's maybe one inch shorter in this flashback. Also also, Pipi Longstocking hair doesn't work no matter how much hair you have to put up. Also also also, the whole reverse tonsure look he has going on in the present really downplays how round his face is. He's got chubby baby cheeks. Also also also also, if Zuko is as much of a prince as his title implies, he's right that he needs to know how to rule.

I have picked up over the course of this show the fact that the fire nation seems to prioritise aesthetic. But this is just ridiculous. And a bit on the nose too. A literal wall of fire dividing you from the commoners? Not even the commoners, the highly esteemed generals in charge of your war? How does this guy see or hear anything that's going on?

Katara asking Aang why he wouldn't be excited about being the Avatar seems out of character for me. Why exactly would he be excited about being catapulted to the number one spot on the fire nation's 'enemies of the state' list? It's not like Katara doesn't know what happens to people on that list.

Don't worry about these jerks. They'll all be immolated in a little bit.

Smelly kid jokes. That's some peak 90s comedy right there.

I love Gyatso. Solidly in Aang's corner and happy to advocate for his charge even against grumpy temple elders. Never loses sight of the fact that Aang is just a boy and needs balance.

This Zuko disrespecting old farts stuff is nonsense. Like when you get called in to HR for 'walking disrespectfully past Sherri's desk' or 'aggressive choice of footwear' and you know it's just because they're looking for a bullshit reason to fire you/force you to quit because the owner's nephew wants your job and they don't want to pay for severance or unemployment. If pointing out obvious flaws in objectively stupid plans is an offence worthy of an honour duel (I'm not even going to try and spell the actual name), then this guy needs to be dueled too:

He called bullshit too.

No

No no they're not actually going to

oh fuck no

hang on he doesn't have his scar yet is this going where I think it's going?

Back to idiot monks phew. Another rock and a hard place situation. Aang needs to be a normal 12 year old. The world needs a fully trained Avatar. The best they can do is a half trained 12 year old avatar. That would have ended well I'm sure.

Oh yeah just yank out the remainders of Aang's support system. That will certainly encourage him to quickly develop into a responsible adult, rather than an emotionally disturbed 12 year old with unmatchable uncontrolled powers. What were these monks thinking? Or were they thinking at all? Were they just panicking? Because only Gyatso seems to have his head on straight. Upset avatars destroy things - we've SEEN that - and these monks think the best way to turn Aang into the Avatar they need is to do something that will upset him probably more than any other possible thing? At least they didn't think to take away Appa too.

Katara's right. He does have a right to be angry. I like that this show gives the characters permission to feel.

Indulging my inner pedant for a minute, he never saw Gyatso alive again. His bones were in pretty good condition. Actually, given that firebenders killed him, why weren't his bones covered in scorch marks? Also, is that where all the other airbender skeletons went? Instant cremation?

The fisherman's right - the avatar did turn his back on the world. Aang's right - he did run away. Katara's right - not running away wouldn't have saved anyone. Kudos to a kids' show for not flinching from tackling topics that have no right answers. Yay nuance!

oh god here we go

Free life tip: If you ever see a dependent and/or child assume this position at the feet of their guardian, call the relevant authorities. Quickly.

And of course there's a crowd of hundreds too. Nothing like a little public mutilation of children to flex your power over the masses. This firelord's ego is so fragile.

So that's where the scar comes from. Also the firelord's line about learning respect casts a new light on when Zuko said he'd teach respect to the crewman at the beginning of the episode. Guess he was channelling the firelord.

Big repsect to Zuko for the above. He's never lacked in bravery. This is the opposite of the "shameful weakness" nonsense.

"Things will never return to normal." THANK YOU

Why is Zuko in such a hurry to go home to that anyway? Seems like the only person who likes him is his uncle, and he's travelling with him.

This is odd. I've always felt like I know Aang, and hearing his story this episode just confirms that I do know him, who he is, what makes him tick. And it lets me know him better. I've deepened an already deep understanding of who he is. However, I thought I had a surface (if jumbled) understanding of Zuko, but hearing his story this episode, and especially the final series of shots, the way they frame him as alone in darkness contrasted with brightly lit memories, makes me sure that I've never known Zuko at all. Who is this guy? I feel like this is meeting him for the first time.

There's also definitely something worth examining in the fact that Aang tells his own story but Iroh tells Zuko's (beyond the fact that Aang is the only person left who could tell his story).

Thank god some comic relief. Not a moment too soon.

I didn't know firebenders could do that. Judging by his face, I don't think he did either.

The judgmental energy in this shot is unparalleled.

"I'm not but I still don't wanna!" This old couple has some seriously good lines.

Appa saves the day once again, this time with an assist from the Avatar powers. I swear if Appa's existence was paired with Sokka's brain they could do the Avatar's job no problem.

Zuko apologises. That is good. But is it Iroh he should be apologising to?

"I'm here now and I'm going to make the most of it." A lovely message to conclude a show on. But are we going to gloss over the whole 'father mutilates his son BARELY offscreen' thing?

Appa shakes!

Final Thoughts

This section could very easily devolve into increasingly hysterical ranting about the whole ZUKO JUST GOT HALF HIS FACE BURNED OFF AS A FORM OF COURT ENTERTAINMENT thing. Lord have mercy the fire nation is fucked up. To prevent that, I am going to share one thought, and only one thought on that fiasco:

this is the first time I've really felt that I'm not the target audience of this show. If I had seen this at 8 or 10 years old, I would have been appropriately mad at the firelord for doing such a bad thing, but it would have made perfect sense, because he's a bad guy, and they have to do bad guy things. It's what makes them bad guys. As an adult, with more knowledge in general, but especially about things like power dynamics and the long term consequences of child abuse, I am valiantly fighting not to spiral down a path of horrific implications because I want to be able to sleep tonight. From both a political and a familial point of view, there was no one (who wasn't 12 and frozen) who could have stepped in. It was the firelord who did it; it appears that there is no one above him in the fire nation hierarchy. It's Zuko's father who did it; good luck getting a kid to stand up to a father in front of an audience of hundreds in a culture that obviously worships a bastardised concept of respect (zuko tried though). Iroh couldn't (or wouldn't) interfere on either political or familial grounds. As an adult, seeing a child (because Zuko may be 16 in the show but that boy kneeling is BABY) stuck in such a situation, knowing there's literally no way to get out of it, no hero going to swoop in and save the day, no judicial process to dish out consequences, well that's hard to watch. And that's all I'll say about that.

Here's a thought: did the avatar (not Aang, but the figure/concept of the Avatar) disappearing fail Zuko, and by extension the fire nation, as much as it failed the other three nations? And the natural follow-along to that thought: did the fire nation attacking the rest of the world hurt the fire nation as much as it hurt the rest of the world?

Aang made a mistake many years ago by running away. He gets to redeem himself by not running away and saving Sokka and the fisherman. Zuko made a mistake at the beginning of the episode by undervaluing the lives of his crew (to their faces, no less). He gets to redeem himself by saving the helmsman and letting the Avatar pass in favour of getting the crew to safety. But I don't think these stories are really parallel. Aang's natural impulse was the mistake. He learned from it, modified his behaviour, and did better the next chance he got. Zuko's natural impulse was to act as he should have. He was taught (violently) that this was incorrect behaviour, and modified his behaviour based on his father's teachings. This modification (not valuing the crew) is the mistake. In Zuko's case, learning from the experience and modifying his behaviour actually means unlearning the lesson he was taught and reverting to his former behaviour. Aang's natural state needed modification; Zuko's externally imposed behaviour needed to be forgotten. Not parallel.

Aang = hope is an interesting conclusion. It's only possible for him to represent hope because he dashed everyone's hopes by disappearing and staying gone. If the avatar had defeated the fire nation 100 years ago and prevented a war from ever happening, he would not have been a symbol of hope. I don't know what he would have been a symbol of, but it's the fact that he's been gone long enough for things to get really bad that makes him a symbol of hope in the present. So if Aang was always meant to be hope, then he was always meant to get frozen.

Aang = hope is also interesting in that it positions Zuko on the side of the enemies of the fire nation. If Aang represents hope to the world, and Aang represents hope to Zuko, then Zuko is not on the Fire Nation side of the conflict (whether he knows it or not).

The humour in this episode was minimal but very welcome. The old couple was heaps of fun, Sokka got a couple of good lines (although never enough - still waiting on a Sokka episode), and the juxtaposition of humour and very serious themes was artfully handled. It was never jarring or tonally off. The switching back and forth between the two story threads was well done too, especially how they tied in at the end.

I'm kind of annoyed that Katara got relegated to shouty defender of the actually-a-little-bit-guilty or Agony Aunt. She deserves better. I'm not at all annoyed that Momo filled the role of cuddle administration. That was lovely to see.

It didn't even occur to me to check if the art/animation in this episode was pretty. That's usually a primary concern with me, but I was too wrapped up in the plot to notice.

I can't believe a kids' show went there, but they did. And they did it well. This episode felt much longer than 20-ish minutes, in a good way. It was packed. Definitely going on my rewatch list.

[micia-posts-stuff]

Shadows House raws spoilers

All the new squads seem so interesting!

I want to see Oscar driving Patrick crazy. I want to learn more about Danny, he seems like the tsundere type, it should be fun. And of course Gilbert!!! Regardless of what he did his goals were noble, so I want to see how he interacts with someone like Patrick wich has more peaceful methods of doing things.

Elizabeth and Loretta being in the relief team should be fun, since we'll probably have to explore Evelyn's character a bit more, I hope we get to see the relief team operating.

I want to see Suzie and Suzanna being team leaders. I feel like this is the perfect way for Suzie to break out of brain-washing, by activating her big-sis mode (although I guess not for Candy ahah) and Suzanna is gonna have fun with the new girls crazy soot powers.

Since Jhon is now alone in his team with William and Henry, maybe we'll finally get to know more about them, it's crazy that we still know nothing about the teammates of two main characters.

And of course last, but definitely not least team 10! First mix-gender team and super packed with interesting characters! Benjamin as a team leader of both Barbara and Louise??? Absolutely perfect! He seems super attached to Barbara, but he also seem to open up to Louise the most, so he should have a nice development, learn to communicate more etc. Barbara being there is also interesting, we haven't seen her interact with either Louise nor the Belles, so I wonder what it will come from that. And who knows also what will happen to Louise after that happened, especially now that Anthony will pretend to be Christopher and she doesn't exactly have the best experiences about Christopher. Also having in her team Barbara, that supports him unconditionally, is gonna have some consequences I feel. An interesting note: all the characters in team 10, except for Barbara, have a mental soot power, idk what that means, but I'm always hungry for some quality mental soot power content, since it's the the type that is least utilized.

All of this to say ANTHONY PLEASE DON'T RUIN THIS FOR US, GO AWAY PLEASE, LET ME ENJOY THE DIFFERENT DYNAMICS WITHOUT A MORTAL THREAT FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!

Idk what Barbara put in the coffee but I'm worried.

[twilightprince101]

Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest REWRITTEN

I recently decided to replay Conquest after years of not even thinking about it, and I've been having a lot of fun! It's my first time playing on Classic/Permadeath, so learning the intricacies of the system for the first time is really fun!

Only thing is that, now as someone aiming for a Creative Writing bachelors and having experience editing... wow the story is not written well. Conquest has its moments, but there is a LOT of missed potential.

But that's the key word here: Missed Potential. For Conquest's story, it had the chance to be really good. The bedrock for an amazing story was all there--you side with the Obviously Evil King because you love the family that raised you and want to rescue them from their abusive father. But with just how blatantly evil King Garon is, Lilith being completely absent from the plot (despite showing up in Chapter 7) and Corrin's honestly irresponsible method of conducting himself in a War Zone, it's hard to see the gold under the grime.

So I thought, "Hey, I'm aiming to be a developmental editor for authors and have experience dabbling in editing already. How about we try using those skills on Conquest?"

And thus, Conquest Rewritten was born!

I'm going to do my best to utilize all of the elements currently present within the game to draw out a more impactful story. This means that there will be no new assets (artwork, voice acting, maps) added in. Every chapter and map will still be the same gameplay-wise, every major event will proceed as it originally did. The only difference is how it is done. The job of a developmental editor is to polish the original story, not create a new one after all!

If you're interested, feel free to come along for the ride! At the moment, Chapters 1-7 have been edited to a point I am satisfied with (though 1 and 6 didn't need any major revisions). I'll likely be releasing edited chapters in batches like this in the future. I'm currently busy with University work, so keep in mind that I might not update too often.

Either way, thank you for reading! Click the links below if you want to get to reading, click the "read more" link to see an example of a scene and how I'm conducting this!

Hope everyone has a nice day! And remember: Only you can forge a fate that's to your liking~

GO TO THE INDEX ->

GO TO CHAPTER 1/PREFACE ->

[Original text of the first lines of Chapter 5, where Hinoka and Ryoma explain the Faceless with clearly prejudiced language against Nohrians, and Corrin does not fight back against that language despite growing up in Nohr his entire life]

[Rewritten text, where Livéle (stand in for protagonist), after hearing that same language, pushes back against them calling Nohrians "evil" and setting clear boundaries for herself, standing up for her Nohrian siblings]

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ruggie Bucchi New Year's Attire Personal Story: Part 1

"You can only try it here!"

Part 1 (Part 2) (Part 3)

[Main Street]

―A few days after the New Year's Sale begins

Ruggie: Oookay, time to start shoveling the snow from the main street all the way to the front of the Mystery Shop before we open.

Cater: Yay, let's go!

Ruggie: Just like usual, me 'n Cater-san'll be in charge of the snow on the right side of the street, while Sebek-kun and Vil-san'll have the left, got it?

Vil: Of course. Let us begin, Sebek.

Sebek: Right.

Cater: Kay, then we should get to it, too.

Ruggie: Yeah.

Cater: Whew～ I mean, I knew I'd be a little busy working bee for this New Year's Sale job, but...

Cater: I def didn't expect all the manual labor like the ＨＡＧＯＩＴＡ battles and snow shoveling.

Ruggie: Can't say I thought we'd be doing these ＨＡＧＯＩＴＡ battles either. But shoveling snow before the shop opens for the day makes sense, at least.

Ruggie: It's exhausting and doesn't even make me any extra madol, though... I really hope it doesn't keep snowing.

Cater: I might actually enjoy shoveling the snow. Yeah, it's hard work, but it's kinda nice, 'cause it's not like we really get to work together like this often.

Ruggie: I seeee～ Then, I'll give you my area to shovel too, Cater-san.

Cater: Ahaha～  I think I'll pass.

Sebek: Shoveling all this fallen snow and throwing it to the side of the road makes for good training!

Sebek: Hah! Hmph! Hah!

Vil: Excuse you, Sebek, you're flinging the snow in my direction as well! If you do that again, I will not let it slide!

Ruggie: Man, Sebek-kun's really getting into it. Wish he'd do my part too.

Cater: Ouch...

Ruggie: Hm? Cater-san, didja do something to your hip?

Cater: When I shoveled some of the snow off to the side, it just twinged a little. Guess it's cause I'm using muscles I don't normally use.

Ruggie: Oh, hey, Cater-san, are you stooping over like that every time you scoop 'n throw the snow?

Cater: Yeah. Why, do you do it differently?

Ruggie: Yep. I got a trick that helps me carry the snow without hurting my back.

Ruggie: I'm gonna show it now, so watch carefully.

Cater: Eh, you're gonna teach me right now?

Ruggie: Well, 'cause if you hurt your back and can't move anymore, then we can say bye-bye to that special bonus.

Ruggie: So first, when you go to scoop the snow, you drop your back and legs like this to lower your center of gravity.

Ruggie: Then, once the snow is on the shovel, you use your whole body to lift it all up.

Ruggie: Finally, you get as close as you can to the place you're puttin' all the snow on and... Throw it!

Cater: Wooooah, a clean throw!

Ruggie: This method should keep you from hurtin' your back. Please, do give it a try.

Cater: Thanks for showing me, I'll try it ♪

Cater: But how did you know that trick to shoveling snow in the first place? Were you from a colder country?

Ruggie: Nooope. I learned how to shovel snow from when I worked part-time at a ski resort.

Cater: Cool, didn't know you worked somewhere like that. Working at a resort sounds super nice～ I bet it was fun!

Ruggie: It was an awesome, amaaazing job!

Ruggie: While I worked there, I got to stay in a room that had a bathtub, and even more important than that, everything was all you can eat!!

Cater: Eh, that's what you mean by it being an amazing job? I thought you were gonna say you got to snowboard or ski on your breaks or something.

Ruggie: What're you saying!?

Ruggie: It's so rare to find an amazing job like that where I got to take hot baths for free and eat as much as my stomach would let me for a great hourly wage!

Vil: Ruggie, Cater. I'm sure you've done a good amount of shoveling, seeing that you have time to get lost in conversation, hm?

Ruggie: Of course. I'm still working, even while chatting!

Cater: Ah, Ruggie's gotten way ahead of me now! Sorry, Vil-kun! I'll get back into it...

???: ―ARGH!

Vil: Hm? What was that noise just now?

Ruggie: Ah, Sebek-kun's shoulder is covered in snow. I bet it just fell from the tree...

Sebek: WHO JUST THREW SNOW AT ME!?!

Cater/Ruggie/Vil: Huh?

Ruggie: Uh, no one?

Sebek: DON'T YOU LIE TO ME!

Sebek: I won't be able to face the Young Master if I were to withdraw here silently without countering... Take this!

Ruggie: Ack, did Sebek just fling a snowball at us with everything he's got!?

Vil: This misunderstanding is ridiculous. I'll be going back to shov―

Vil: ...!!

Cater: W-Woah... If Vil-kun hadn't been able to swat away that snowball Sebek threw just now...

Ruggie: ...That would've been a direct hit on Vil-san's face. Also, those snowballs he's throwing look super frozen.

Sebek: Now, are you ready to confess as to who done it?

Vil: Did you just... Aim at my face...?

Vil: MY!! PRECIOUS!! AND!! IMMESURABLY VALUABLE!! FACE!?!

Vil: I'll have to teach this insolent potato a lesson, it seems.

Cater: Ack! Vil-kun, control yourself!!

Ruggie: Cater-san, why're you trying to stop them? Now's our chance!

Ruggie: While Sebek-kun and Vil-san are having a falling out, let's keep on shoveling the snow and get ahead of them!!

Part 1 (Part 2) (Part 3)

Requested by Anonymous.

[gendervapor14]

I've read a lot of your stories (and liked them a lot) so I'm wondering how you plan out longer fics? I feel like I want to add to the Corazon pile but I don't really know where to start

anon.... [steps closer and kisses you on the head] thank you. i had an entire work shift to think about this and i still haven't come up with a clear answer 😅 but i will certainly offer all the help and advice i can!!

starting is my favorite part!! you need some sort of idea. doesn't have to be anything crazy. (i'm sure you have plenty!) for instance, the idea that inspired me to write 01746 was "i want rosinante to have a proper backstory." for two fights for freedom, the idea was "i want cora and bell-mere to live and have a nice family together". i think vaguer ideas are more likely to lead to larger stories, but as i'm sure you've seen, i tend to write a lot (a decent portion of my multichaps were supposed to be oneshots) but regardless of length, every good story starts with the desire to put an idea out there, and i get the feeling you've got that part covered!

in terms of physically writing, this is where things get a little tricky. bigger stories tend to involve planning. personally, i'm a pantser. my natural writing process involves no planning. nowadays i do a ton of planning, but that's because i've taken on a ton of hours at work, so i don't have the time to sit around and experiment with my writing anymore. if i want a story to go a certain direction, i need to have some sort of guideline to keep me on track with time. so consider how much free time you have. if you have a lot, you might not have to worry too much about outlining or making mistakes, because you'll have plenty of time to fool around and fix things.

(also worth noting it IS just fanfiction, and the post button is not setting your words in stone. i've edited plenty of things after posting, made some major edits too! that's always okay. it's just fanfiction :) i've never had a reader get upset about me tweaking previous chapters.)

in terms of guidelines or no guidelines, it depends on you and your story! like i said, i write by the seat of my pants, so guidelines tend to confuse me. maybe you're similar. or maybe you LOVE a guideline! outlines are good because they're flexible. even if it's a simple breakdown of some basic plot points you think would be neat. for two fights for freedom, i have an outline that lists every chapter and every scene within every chapter. pretty detailed. took a long time to make it though, and i'm constantly tweaking it. for 01746, i used a physical whiteboard with random notes and diagrams, but there wasn't any structural planning until probably the last ten chapters. with 01746, canon provided a lot of substance for me, where with two fights for freedom, almost the entire story is my own, extremely canon divergent, so it's more weight for me to bear. your need for an outline or notes may depend on how much weight you can carry to make the story cohesive.

NOW don't let any of that scare you!! usually when i begin a big multichap, i don't start with an outline. i just write something. i try my idea out, if that makes sense. sometimes what i start writing becomes chapter one, or maybe it'll become part of the summary, or maybe it'll be the plot twist in chapter seventy-two. in the beginning, it doesn't matter what comes out of your hands. get cozy with your idea and let it fill you with excitement and inspiration. you can worry about organization afterwards.

sorry if this was a bit indecipherable or unclear 😅 with every story i write, i try something new! fanfic writing for me is a great way to hone my skills and experiment, so i don't have a scientific method quite yet. i just try to learn about myself as much as possible and have fun along the way! and i hope you're able to do the same!!

i'm around if you ever need more help! you can always DM or shoot me another ask, i don't mind at all! i really flung a lot of words at you here so feel free to narrow me down to a more specific concern whenever. i wish you great luck on your projects 🍀 this world always needs more added to the cora pile ♥ and feel free to hmu if you do end up posting something!! i'd love to check it out 👀

[clericofshadows]

I've been thinking about learning how to use the Private Message Terminal LE1 mod for my own personal use by adding messages from Zaeed to Regis after various missions... I've written a few for fun so far :)

Post Spectre Annoucement:

Regis,

So, you're now a goddamn Spectre, huh. Does it give you any sweet perks you're willing to abuse? I heard they have their own line of Widows that's a step above the stuff us plebs have to... obtain through various methods, if you catch my drift.

Good luck out there. Hope you and Kaidan are doing well out in the black. Hey... with that Spectre status... you aren't technically just Alliance, so they won't be able to do a goddamn thing about it if you decide to go public.

Tell him I said hi.

-ZM

Post Feros:

What the bloody hell...

Back on Omega you were telling me all about your stint as an instructor, and now you're dealing with fucking ancient alien beings and mind control thralls... next time you're on the Citadel I'll wire you some credits so you can buy yourselves a goddamn drink. Fucking hell.

Kaidan was telling me all about the damn Thorian. Think he was about to have as dirty of a mouth as you when talking about exterminating that thing. I guess his limit is horrors beyond our comprehension.

I definitely don't get paid enough for that shit.

-ZM

Post Noveria:

Again?

Really, Regis? You just got done telling me about a fucking thorian, and now you've brought the rachni back to the galaxy?

Hope you know what you're doing, but you have a bleeding heart underneath that asshole exterior.

Don't mean I won't be swearing your name if you've doomed us all.

I'm joking. Mostly. Fucking rachni. What kind of circus are you running up there?

I want to be there for the next run.

-Zaeed

Post Virmire:

Idiot.

Yes, you're a fucking idiot. A goddamn, self-sacrificing, son of a bitch. But it's just like you to give a middle finger to a no-win scenario. I'll need to meet that Williams one day. She must be a good one if you were that determined to nearly get yourself killed to save both her and your boyfriend.

I hope the brass isn't giving you hell for what you did. Kaidan was telling me about what was lost. Stay safe and stop giving me more grey hairs than I already have.

Oh, and I told Kaidan to keep you in the doghouse. Let me know if I'm overstepping...

-Z

Post Therum:

Standing your ground.

After all that's happened, you still had to go after that matriarch's daughter? I won't be forgetting that rant you gave me. Thought you reserved that kind of tone for your worst enemies.

In any case, melding ain't no joke. Done it a couple of times and it doesn't just change you, it changes them. And you're one hell of a man, Regis, with a lot going on up there.

If you need some more resources, I can lend you some annotated maps I have around here somewhere. It's got all kinds of shit I've gathered from different nav points over the years.

Don't let up.

-Z

Extras I haven't decided on where they will go:

Chances

To think that it could have just been easily you activating the beacon and Kaidan saving your ass... you think he would've gotten the fancy new title instead of you?

Nah, I'm just playing. Be careful out there. Happy to hear you two were on the same ship, and now I'm worried about you.

And don't keep all that shit bottled up in your head. I'll lend an ear if you don't want to bug Kaidan.

-ZM

----

I don't get the brass. They sent you on a diplomatic mission disguised as an assassination, and they were shocked that you actually killed the motherfucker?

Eh, I know one or two of them in the higher ups. Chances are, they are as fucking happy about it as you are but have to be nice about it. Kaidan called me up and said this would've been the perfect mission for me.

I'll look into him and see if there's anything that might interest you and your command.

-Zaeed

----

Small galaxy.

Been a while since I've worked with Urdnot Wrex. Interesting to hear that he's joined up with your crew.

Not a bad guy. Has some decent morals. Does shoot first and maybe asks questions later. And I know that's not your damn style, so be careful with that.

A quarian, a krogan, your boyfriend... and that marine you and Kaidan both keep singing the praises of. Sounds like a good crew.

Hope they have your back.

-Z

[every1sno1fangirl]

Happy Hifuumo Friday! So many things happened on my trip that I would consider to be monumental. I also learned some things about the new way I'm conducting these trips.

Like the fact that I need to be more discerning with the photos I take.

My picture-taking method so far has been to spam the picture-taking button in the hopes that one of the ones I had taken was 'good enough'.

This is why I had to sift through 327 of them for this post, and why it is still a little bit late despite giving myself a full day...

...to go through them all and pick out the ones I liked the most (Only 17 of them...) In the future, I will give in to anxiety less and take my time and be slower. But in my defense, I simply HAD to take dozens of shots of my muses this time.

Before I get into that though, I just wanted to say that if you're in 90+ fahrenheit degree weather to not count on the park you're going to having a water fountain you can refill your thermos at like I did.

Horrible mistake on my end.

Anyway, my original target was a local skate park, but it was actually the stuff around it that was more interesting. Even if I don't think the path I took was technically legal to take while walking.

I remember wondering how on Earth someone gets out of these if they bailed because of how incredibly steep these inclines were.

But then I found something far more captivating...

There was a flock of geese(?) nearby! (There were many more than this too!) But even if I was scared, I considered it a good opportunity to get some amazing pictures and see if I could do anything about my fear of animals.

It helped they were seemingly as afraid of me as I was of them. If they felt like I got too close they would step away and maintain distance.

(I really like this picture by the way, it's my favorite from this trip I think.)

They just wanted to mind their own business so I respected that. I don't actually know how long my impromptu birdwatching session went on for, but I do know it was very refreshing.

This was as close as I dared to let myself get to them. Believe it or not, they didn't get aggressive towards me even /once/

...Until I was leaving and no longer taking pictures, that is.

The other significant thing was that I went out of my way to talk to people and confront that particular fear a bit more too.

On my way there, I came across a neighbor who simply had some amazing lawn ornaments on display.

I think I mentioned it once before, but I have a policy on not taking pictures of people's lawns and other personal property of the sort.

But it was simply so perfect I couldn't get it out of my head. So when I was sweaty, exhausted, and dehydrated on the return trip...

That I rang the doorbell and ask my neighbor if I could take my pictures there. I don't want to be 'that creep I saw on the ring camera' after all.

I almost ran away as soon as I had heard dogs barking. But maybe my encounter with the geese before steeled my nerves?

A nice elderly man came to the door. I explained my request, he said yes.

His wife came out after. She was a grandmother who wanted to thank me for calling her lawn 'beautiful'. She asked me if I had made 'those dolls'.

I of course said no.

I explained where they came from and she told me her granddaughter would have loved them. And then she told me more about her family and I told her why I go out and do these and she thought it was so lovely and that she was so happy for me.

I have an open invitation to come back and take more of them, anytime I want to.

I intend on taking her up on that offer.

As always, I love you all very much, I hope you have great days/nights!

[harrysfolklore]

Hi! How are you? I just wanted to say I started posting my own smau and I’ve been completely inspired by you and all your posts through the years. I started following you around the time of the babysitter/bandmate/opening act series and always loved every single one of them (in fact I’m still sad I can’t get your patreon rn and read songwriter part 2 bc it was one of my faves lol). Anyway I know I’m late to the party with these social media posts but I’m trying now and I just wanted to let you know that your posts are the ones that inspired me to do so. I don’t think I’m anywhere near as good as you and honestly I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m just learning 😅 but at least I’m trying so I wanted to say thank you!

Gosh, I'm sorry this got so long. I’m terrified of sending things because I’m really shy and I used to talk to you mostly anonymously or through my other blog (that’s just empty tbh), but now that I’m posting smau I thought it would be nice to let you know this. Ok, I’ll stop now. I hope you’re having a great weekend! 💕

AHHH OMG THIS MESSAGE JUST MADE MY DAY ! it's so sweet to know that those who were here for my first stories i posted almost three years ago (wow) are4 still around reading my silly little stuff 🥺

its never too late to start a new hobbie or interest so keep going <3 honestly this blog has been my biggest therapy method whenever i'm feeling down, and i feel like crying knowing it inspired you to start your own

thank youuuuu for sending this, it really made my day, love youuuuu

[mejomonster]

So I study Chinese, and some language learning methods use "condensed audio" for a listening practice resource, which is when you can listen to audio from say a show but without the pauses between dialogue. So it kind of sounds like an audiodrama with a touch less music breaks. It's nice to do I think in the bg for stuff you've heard before to practice listening comprehension better, and a notch easier than using an audiobook since dialogue is easier then full on narration. About as easy listening practice as any audio drama you've listened to with a transcript before.

Anyway fun fact. So I made a Guardian condensed audio once and the eps were usually 11-15 minutes condensed audio to just dialogue. I have Ice Fantasy condensed audio too from a site that made some, and they're also around 10-20 minutes per ep.

I decided to make Justice in the Dark condensed audio, since I found a new program to do it with minimal effort (just drag the program folder into the episodes+subs folder and click the "run me" file - I can link people to the program if you want). And lmao it REALLY shows how utterly dense the Justice in the Dark script is. These condensed audio files are all 35-40 minutes!! Out of 50 minutes episode run time, 35-40 is spent on dialogue! It makes sense since the novel is information dense, and the show is Information Dense af. But it's just really funny to see how much. I am really impressed with the scriptwriter efforts and video editors efforts to put together such a dense story into a fast paced but understandable story.

I critiqued the scripts handling of Case 1 but also like? Honestly on rewatch the necessary details Are included. It's just such a struggle for the show to highlight some details when it's moving at such a breakneck pace, and the script clearly prioritized slowing down and holding on the Pei Su/Luo Weizhao moments and key Action/development scenes from the cases. So I get why case details got the least highlighting. They are There, but there's no handholding to make sure the audience caught them all - only the key ones (like the cigarettes, the business card, the borrowed clothes, the similar hometown, the fight with Zhang Donglan and his sister and her bf). I do get in retrospect they did magic with the challenge upon them. I think the final product is still near My Fave Kdramas in terms of script execution so I'm okay with it. I do think case 2 with the girls in dresses does Better at Highlighting clues to the audience, so I'm hopeful the case presentation stays tightened in which case it won't even be a critique from me by the end.