#i hope this is at least comprehensible to a few other people

[ruffaloon]

m*a*s*h s05ep14, "hawk's nightmare" (1976) // bill hader, it: chapter 2 interview (2019)

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I would say that the United States, as of right now, has three main food groups (aside from junk food) and those are, Italian, Mexican, and Chinese. All of which have been Americanized here to some extent but differently in different parts of the country. I find this very funny because I have heard people from Italy be indignant about what we’ve done with the stuff (and about good restaurants too!) like, sorry if you guys weren’t creative, mixing things up a bit is great. “What about (regionally popular food)?!” I know we all have those, I haven’t heard of bitches in the south eating lefse, but that’s not my point! What was my point actually? I think I was going to say that, even if we bastardize stuff a lot, I’m super glad we have, as a country, agreed that more seasoning is good. Because if this place had been like “fuck immigrant food forever, we are eating British style” I think I would die.

This country has historically treated immigrants like shit, but we do tend to cave eventually and go like “actually,

your food is really good” a kind of shallow prize I guess, but I’m glad we actually start doing it eventually because I WILL mock British food and I WILL be sad that the only good family recipes my family has from before immigrating are all desserts. Don’t get me wrong, I love sweets, but I’m pretty sure there is a reason we stopped making other stuff

Wait, I re-read this today and realized I sound like my family is British. We are not. What even are British desserts? I bet they don’t have enough cardamom. Although lefse doesn’t have cardamom and i like a lot of things without it, my point is that their holiday and special event foods probably don’t have enough! Which wouldn’t surprise me tbh because apparently the only place that went crazy for the stuff outside of where it originated seems to have been Scandinavia for some reason. At least some maps I looked at seemed to suggest it. Which rocked me to my core

[sonicboomseason3]

a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:

paramount has come out in public support of israel

keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie

james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile

there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???

kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too

this is a complete and utter joke.

EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]

you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.

i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.

with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.

ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.

[superfallingstars]

Jily circa 1977, for @moonstainn's marauders era 70s outfit challenge! I had sooo much fun with this - I think this is the first time that James has made an appearance on this account, and I actually based his shirt and jacket on a photo of my dad in the 70s, which was super fun. Love a contrast stitching moment!

The other reason this was so fun is that I'm like one of those annoying historical fashion people but only for like, the 70s thru 90s, lol. I think late 70s fashion can sometimes get lost in the shuffle between the groovy early 70s and the neon 80s, so I really wanted to showcase it here, since that's the era in which James and Lily come of age. From what I've seen, late 70s fashion is less bell bottoms and fringe, and more cuffed jeans, knee-high boots, and furry jackets with big shoulders (perhaps a precursor to the shoulder pads of the 80s...?).

I can't resist rambling on about this, but I'll do everyone a favor and put it (as well as all of my references/inspo!) under the cut:

These are street style pics from 1977 London, taken by Derek Ridgers, and they're such a big influence on how I imagine Lily. You can see that the styles are starting to shift from the hippie fashion of the late 60s/early 70s – at this point there were a lot of these huge fuzzy jackets, cowl neck sweaters, layered zip-ups, and knee-high boots under midi skirts.

A few photos of some women whose fashion specifically inspired me for this drawing. The top row is all Kate Bush – there are a ton of photos of her from around this time and she looks quite similar to how I imagine Lily – and she rocks those tall boots (+ midi skirt combo). The bottom row is Isabelle Huppert (who I have considered as a time-accurate Lily fancast lol, although I'm uncertain of the exact dates of these photos). Her jacket in the first pic definitely inspired me for Lily, and I don't think I've ever seen someone look so cool in a scarf before...!

The other big trend I noticed (from looking through a million pictures of bands I like from this time) is the proliferation of cuffed jeans! What was up with these giant cuffs? Once I started looking for them, I noticed them everywhere. Tbh they're a nice way to add a fun little extra detail to a character's outfit. And I must mention that in the second photo (featuring the Buzzcocks), the guy on the right (John Maher) is pretty much EXACTLY how I imagine James to look. There's like no other pictures of him in those glasses tho! So unfortunate.

Anyway! I adore 70s fashion, and even though there are definitely similarities throughout the whole decade, late 70s fashion has its own unique trends that I hoped to bring some attention to here. Especially because it's basically the golden age for Marauders fans lol. Of course this is not comprehensive (far from it!), but I wanted to share my thoughts, and I hope it was at least a little informative or inspiring. Thanks if you made it this far through my rambles :-)

[hyunluvbug]

show me how to love I one - party time

pairing: hyunjin x afab reader

premise: all hyunjin is known for is hookups. he does not commit and would rather feed on lust. he has never been in love but his best friend, y/n, is in love with him. maybe he will someday want to be loved.

content: 🔞this series is NSFW so MDNI at all!!! some making out mentioned and grinding (in a party setting), drinking, brief mention of weed

a/n: i know its been a while but this has been in my drafts forever and is now seeing the light of day. i already have 4 parts full written, i anticipate 5 or 6 in the series so i hope u enjoy!

The floor vibrates from the loud music that fills the thick air. Smells of sweat, weed and beer litter the room. Among the smells is the loud conversations that filter throughout. Each conversation is barely comprehensible. 

She takes a sip from her solo cup and feels the familiar liquor hit her throat. Was it worth it in the end to get drunk? Who knows but she couldn't wait to find out. This is her first drink, a drink her friend Han had given her. She wasn’t quite sure what it was. 

She watches Han as he plays beer pong with a few of his other friends, Lee Know, Chan and Changbin. They were also her friends, friends she made all thanks to him. 

She felt her stomach begin to rumble a little, starting to crave food. Her eyes scan the crowd around her. A few people are dancing amongst themselves, boys chugging down their drinks, couples making out but one couple in particular caught her eye. One of them was none other than her best friend, Hyunjin, which was no surprise. She feels her face warm up at the sight. He was sloppily kissing the girl who was grinding into his lap. His hands roam down her back and settle on her waist. He moves her hips in circular motions on top of him. She could practically hear her loud moans from here. A feeling in her chest made her look away. Her eyes instead land on the snack table filled with finger food. She puts her cup down and reminds herself to not pick it up again. 

She makes her way to the snack table and stuffs her face with pretzels. The saltiness fills her tongue creating an explosion of flavor. She heard it was good to eat while drinking and right now she sure was hungry. 

“Hey.” 

She looks up and sees Seungmin, another boy who is a part of Han’s friend group. His eyes were glossed over and he was beginning to slur his words. 

“Are you doing okay?” 

The thing about Seungmin and to be fair all of Han’s friends is that they all looked after her. No matter the situation, at least one of them would be by her side. 

“I’m alright. I think I’m a tad tipsy.” She replied, she was still putting pretzels between her lips. Her face was clearly flushed and her eyes were beginning to lose focus. 

He pats her head lovingly, “Just be careful. Don’t forget to also drink some water, yeah?” 

She nods back at him with a salute which makes him chuckle. Yep she is getting drunk. 

“I’ll be over here.” he said pointing over to the couch filled with people. They were playing some video games on the big tv mounted on the wall. 

Even when Seungmin is drunk he is still a sweetheart. 

Han screams loudly in victory, her eyes look over to him. Him and Chan dance happily while Leeknow and Changbin accept defeat. She chuckles to herself at the sight. Han’s eyes make contact with hers and he gestures for her to come over. 

She begins to walk and feels her legs wobble. Is this what being tipsy feels like? Very strange.

“We just beat their asses.” Han yells over the loud music that was now making people sing along. Chan picks up his beer and takes a big swig, wiping the dribble of beer off his chin. 

Jeongin then walks over, his hand filled with a few more beers. “Who wants more?” He smiles widely. Lee Know and Changbin take one each from him, Jeongin passes the beer opener. 

Jeongin then turned to her, “Want one?” Jeongin asked, still having one left over. 

“Fuck it, why not?”

He opened the beer bottle for her and she put it to her lips. Was it disgusting? Absolutely. But, she needed some sort of stimulation tonight. The boys talked amongst themselves and she found herself searching the room. The corner where Hyunjin previously sat was now empty. She didn’t even have to guess where he was. Probably upstairs in some locked room. The mere thought made her feel less happy. 

She sighed loudly and Lee Know looked at her. He knew what was up. They all did. It was pretty clear to all of them how she felt for him. 

“Y/n.” Changbin said, catching her attention and knocking her from her head. 

“This is your time to enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about him.” He places a hand on her shoulder, his fingertips were cold from the beer bottle in his hands. 

She nods shyly, “Come on Y/n! We’re supposed to be having fun. Fuck college and studying, we’re finally done!” Han cheers loudly causing the rest of the party to cheer as well. 

It was the end of their third year in college, only one more year and they would be finished. Time surely does fly past really quickly. She swore she was just starting college and next thing she knew, she was going to graduate in less than a year. It’s crazy. 

“You’re right! Let’s do some shots or something!” She replied, a big smile coating her face. 

“Did I hear shots?”

She turned around and both Seungmin and Felix stood behind her. Felix had a tray of shots on a plate. 

“Damn how did you do that so fast?” Chan chuckles and grabs one of the shot cups. 

“Well I was bringing them anyway, I guess it was perfect timing?” Felix says, a smile spreading across his lips. Everyone grabs a shot cup and clinks their cups together before shooting them down. 

The burning liquor resonates in Y/n’s throat. Giving her a very nice buzz. She could tell her alcohol tolerance was not very high as she already felt the effects. 

She began to walk unsteady through the room. Everything soon felt like a blur. All she could see was mirages of bodies moving past. She sat down on the couch in the corner, her friends danced in the middle of the room in front of her. The music filled her ears but it felt slow. 

Something wet began to trickle down into her hands. It was water. She was crying. She felt her chest rise and fall quickly. Someone was mumbling. More tears came down into her hands creating a tiny pool. 

“Hey.” No response. 

“Y/n.” 

She finally looks up and is met with his eyes. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” His hands move up to her cheeks wiping away the tears. 

“Hyunjin.”

[hesokuri-wars]

Hesokuri Wars Archive Masterpost:

Hi, guys! Hope you've had a good, or at least somewhat decent, 2023. I can't believe it's been well over a year since Hesokuri Wars officially shut down. Time really flies, doesn't it?

Despite how long it's been, I've been feeling a little nostalgic for this franchise lately. As much as this blog ended up neglecting its duties during the year leading up to the game's shutdown, I kind of want to make up for that by helping with its preservation. Others have already committed to doing so, but I think it'll help a few people if there was a single post consolidating everyone's efforts, so here we go:

Basic / General:

The Osomatsu-san AU Fandom Wiki has a page dedicated to listing the various Hesokuri Wars AUs, all of which have their own wiki pages with images

Tumblr user @/denkimystery has a pretty extensive catalog of information related to the Denki Mystery AU in Hesokuri Wars, including but not limited to a basic run-down of the characters, translations of the character descriptions / event stories / attraction buildings, and a timeline of the overarching story

Added 12/3/2023: Another good wiki to use is the Hesokuri Wars Wiki on Gamerch, though it's (possibly?) incomplete and in Japanese (credit to @/snowimatsu for providing!)

Sprites / Assets:

A comprehensive, albeit incomplete, catalog of assets (character sprites, backgrounds, resumes, etc.) courtesy of Tumblr user @/osmt-hkw (original post)

Added 12/3/2023: Another rather comprehensive (unsure if complete) catalog of character sprite assets uploaded to The Spriters Resource by user Biggest_Chungus (credit to @/snowimatsu for providing!)

Event Stories:

A playlist featuring a variety of stories from the game (untranslated) courtesy of Tumblr user @/mallowkey (original post)

Added 12/4/2023: Tumblr user @/ngmatsu has translations of some of the older events (2016 - 2019), as well as some miscellaneous information on other sets provided via asks

BGM / Music:

A playlist of most(?) of the songs on the Hesokuri Wars Original Soundtrack courtesy of Tumblr user @/snowimatsu (original post)

Another playlist of most(?) of the songs courtesy of Tumblr user @/doctorjoshua64 (original post)

Added 12/3/2023: The downloadable soundtrack to the 2019 Hesokuri Wars CD soundtrack uploaded to KHInsider by user @/Stanky_Cat (credit to @/snowimatsu for providing!)

If anyone else knows of any other links that serve as a catalog and/or archive of anything Heso-related, please let me know!

🐾 Mod Ichi

[olderthannetfic]

This is partly a vent and partly hoping someone reading this can offer some advice or at least insight into wtf the person/people doing this are hoping to accomplish.

Over the past few months, someone(s) has been sending purity policing “concerned” anon asks to people in my fandom, mostly about supposed untagged triggering content. Which sounds like standard anti bullshit at first glance, but there are some really weird aspects to this situation, and I don’t know what to make of it.

First, in both of the cases I’ve seen, the “untagged” content Concerned Anon complained about was comprehensively tagged, way beyond fandom norms. Concerned Anon is complaining about something that isn’t even true.

Second, the people who received these asks seem to me like really weird targets for anon harassment. From what I’ve seen, they’re both really nice people. Not in the Cult of Nice way, but in the welcoming to newcomers, supporting all shippers even the people who ship things they’re not into, willing to chat about even the most wild theory or headcanon you might have without judgment kind of nice. Good stewards of fandom, I guess is what I’m trying to say. So I don’t get why anyone would want to target them. Especially since one of them wasn’t even being harassed about their own work, but about a fic someone else wrote that they happen to like!

Third, if the source material for this fandom were a fic on AO3, it would easily meet the threshold for all archive warnings. This isn’t about Stephen King fandom, but it’s got that level of things antis lose their shit over. Why is Concerned Anon even in this fandom? Why are they ~*so concerned*~ over fic when canon is like that?

Since the first Concerned Anon ask, I’ve noticed a sharp drop-off not just in ~*problematic*~ fic, but in fic in the fandom in general. I know fandom engagement comes and goes and there could be a lot of reasons for that unrelated to Concerned Anon. I can even think of a couple specific reasons it would be happening in this fandom. But the timing rubs me the wrong way, especially since it doesn’t seem like there’s as much a of a drop-off in general fandom activity, and I’m worried the latest set of Concerned Anon asks will have an even more chilling effect on fic writers.

I hate that this is happening. I hate that people who are just out here making fandom fun are being targeted. I hate that it might be discouraging people who haven’t been targeted from writing. I hate the possibility that Concerned Anon is out there harassing other people in the fandom who haven’t responded to them or that I just haven’t seen. I hate that, as a complete fandom nobody, I probably have no power to do anything about this. I hate that the person or people behind Concerned Anon probably aren’t even going to have to face up to being this kind of shitty, because it’s all anonymous.

--

People pop up in the inboxes where the owner can get their comments in front of more eyeballs.

Of course they want to poison the blogs of the welcoming fans who get the newbies writing fic.

The way to combat them is for those bigger blogs to either ignore them entirely or to politely but firmly tell them where they can shove it while pointing out that they're a liar.

They're a toxic blight on other people's inspiration, and the "nice" blogs should tell them so. The failure to do so is going to have at least as much of a chilling effect as their shitty comments themselves.

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 35: Oliver's Walk

Previous Masterlist Next

September 1925

TW: Captivity, mind control

Oliver woke up slowly, stretching and yawning and rolling over several times to doze off again, before finally sitting up.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so well. He was utterly relaxed as he lounged in bed, with nothing particularly pressing driving him out of his soft cocoon of blankets. He was free to daydream about what had happened the night before, how pleasing he'd been to his master.

He'd successfully fed his master, made him happier and stronger, fulfilled the purpose Miss Lily had set for him back at the auction house, and it felt just as good as he'd hoped it would. Better, truly. 

It was late afternoon, and the sun was low in the sky, so he had some time before Alexander awoke. He didn't even really seem to have particular duties here besides the feedings and making his master coffee. He'd have plenty of time to have breakfast and read.

Before too long, he was in the library with a steaming hot mug, perusing the books once again and trying to pick out something to sit down with. He chose a comprehensive-looking book on merfolk, bound in attractive teal letter with embossed silver ink, and was delighted to find that it was illustrated with many interesting plates of strange sea creatures.

All of this was real -- merfolk, vampires, magic -- and he was a part of it.

It felt right, the distress of how he'd arrived here slowly starting to ebb from his mind. It was just so comfortable here in his Master's library, curled into a leather sofa with a mug of rich coffee.

As the sun dipped low in the sky, forcing Oliver to ignite a gas lamp to have enough light to read, he remembered that he wanted to make fresh coffee for his master as he awoke. It was the least he could do, really.

He bought you at auction, you were kidnapped --

Oliver pushed aside the unhelpful intrusion as he bustled about the kitchen. He was here now, with no means of escape. Wasn't it better to be contented with it?

"Good evening, Oliver," said Alexander from the kitchen doorway. "I thought I smelled coffee. Thank you for making it."

"You're welcome, sir," said Oliver, pleased to be helpful. His master really did look much healthier, his eyes brighter and skin less deathly pale, and he was glad to see it.

Useful, he was useful. And wanted. 

Alexander sipped at the coffee, and nodded in approval. "The weather is fine tonight, if a bit brisk. I was thinking some fresh air would do me good. Would you care to accompany me on my walk?"

"Yes, sir!" Oliver eagerly jumped at the chance. He hadn't been outside for more than a few minutes ever since the night he'd been kidnapped.

Soon enough, he was perusing his wardrobe for something warm that didn't expose his neck, and settled on a soft red flannel shirt and slacks. Everything fit him perfectly, which made sense given that his master had his measurements from the auction house.

And then his master opened the front door, and he was out in the cool night air, in the ordinary bustle of the city, unrestrained except for the very real fetters on his mind. Alexander just trusted him to stand on the sidewalk and wait patiently while he fiddled with the key to the mansion. Oliver glanced around at the ordinary people going about their usual nightly business. A workman in overalls tipped his hat and bid Oliver good evening. No one would ever have guessed that he was in thrall to a vampire.

"How about the park?" Alexander wrapped around Oliver's arm possessively as they began to make their way down the street, stirring up the deeply buried desires Oliver had often felt while watching other people walk down the street arm-in-arm. Even if they were master and thrall and not lovers or even truly friends... perhaps he was affection starved enough that simply feeling wanted was enough.

He couldn't help but notice how passersby seemed to instinctually give them a wide berth. It was no doubt a result of his Master's vampiric aura. How had he not sensed it before, when Alexander was a customer in his shop? Or had he, and it was one of the things that had interested him in his former patron long before he realized Alexander's true nature?

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it? Crisp and clear," said Alexander, He gazed up at the sky, and Oliver's gaze followed. The moon was half-full and bright stars were visible, with no clouds in sight. "An ideal night for stargazing. Perhaps I'll perch myself on the roof later. You're welcome to join me. I could teach you how to read the stars."

"You know fortune-telling, sir?"

"A dear friend of mine taught me," he said. "I don't put real stock in it, of course. Comforting fairy tales."

"I've rather always enjoyed comforting fairy tales, sir."

"As do I." 

They passed a grand theater, where well-dressed patrons in fine suits and furs were lining up to see an evening performance. Alexander stopped to look at the scene. "Do you enjoy live music, Oliver? The theater? Stage performances in general?"

"It's not something I partook in often, sir, but I think I would enjoy it, given a chance." Money had often been tight, movies were cheap, and books were always at hand, so the sort of high society entertainment offered by the theater Alexander was pointing out to him had not been a priority.

"The next performance at this theater is going to be a renowned ballet company from France. I've been spending too much time hidden away in my manor lately, so I was thinking of attending. Would you be interested?"

"Me, sir?" He was surprised that his master was inviting him along to the ballet, as though he were a companion and not a thrall. "I think it'd be very interesting, but I don't know the etiquette. I don't want to embarrass you, sir."

"Nonsense, you wouldn't embarrass me in the slightest. You're perfectly conditioned and I would set out an appropriate wardrobe for you. You wouldn't have to worry about a thing other than enjoying the dance. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds more than agreeable, sir," he said, pleased that his master trusted him, and that he would be allowed entertainment and pleasurable outings.

They reached the park, and the moon and flickering gaslights gave just enough light for Oliver to see the trees turning red and gold. It'd be the height of fall soon enough, and he'd been looking forward to fresh apples and cooler temperatures. Now, he was just grateful to be here in the park, with the chill night wind blowing across his face -- during his time in the auction house's captivity, he had often feared never seeing the outside again.

"Oliver," said Alexander, breaking his train of thought. "I would like to get to know you better."

Oliver looked away. "I'm afraid there isn't a lot to get to know, sir. You already know of my bookshop, which consumed the bulk of my time."

"I'm sure there's more than that." His intense eyes bore down on Oliver. "I wish for you to be happy while you're in my care. What is it that you want? I'll try to provide, if I can."

Was this a test? "I wish to serve you, Master?"

The displeased look in his Master's eyes indicated that that wasn't the answer he wanted. "I mean before all this. Before me, before vampires. I want to honestly know what it was you desired from life."

He was a bit stunned that his master had even asked that, surprised that he could still have desires other than feeding and serving the vampire. What did he want?

Growing up, he hadn't had much in the way of dreams. Dreams were for the books he read. His designated path was to inherit the bookshop from his ailing father and run it according to his best instincts -- and he'd been reasonably content with that future. Other dreams, of seeing the world, of adventure and romance, of art and culture, those had always seemed so far away, meant for other people. There was no use in trading a comfortable, ordinary life to chase something risky. He'd never been the sort.

Strange, then, that the first time in a long time that he'd given serious thought to what he wanted in life was after being imprisoned and conditioned.

He trusted his master. He didn't think he would be punished for speaking his mind. He'd said there would be no punishments, after all.

"I would like to travel, sir," he said softly. "I always wanted to see more of the world than this small city. To enjoy different cultures, to see the sights I read about in books... but money was always tight, and I had the bookshop to look after, and the idea of leaving home was overwhelming. But that's one thing I think I might want."

"Indeed. I'm much the same." Alexander sighed. "Unfortunately, I'm as trapped in the city as you, the curse of my sire. Otherwise, I would happily take you along to travel the world. Someday..."

"Why has your sire trapped you in the city, sir?"

"What else would you desire?" said his master, as though he hadn't heard the question. "There must be something in my power to grant you."

Something smaller, perhaps. "I enjoy sketching, although I've never been good at it. If I could have a notebook and pencils."

"Of course, that's no trouble at all. I'll locate the finest supplies in the city. Anything else?"

"Well... I spent a great deal of my time thinking about the supernatural, sir," said Oliver. "Now that I know that the inhabitants of fairy tales and horror stories are real, I think I'd enjoy learning all that I can about them."

Alexander brightened at this. "Now, that's absolutely within my wheelhouse. When we return to the manor, I can put together an assortment of books that will serve as a primer on the actual supernatural world, not the fantasies imagined by humans," he said. "There are places I could take you to meet more of my kind, and others besides. Social clubs I don't often frequent, but would be welcome. I could keep you safe."

"Oh, can you?" said a snide voice behind them.

His master whipped around in a flash, pushing Oliver behind him. It was a young woman in a torn, dirty red dress, her messy hair falling around her face. "You've got a real treat there, don't you?" she said, grinning. "He smells delicious, and I'm awfully hungry."

"Newly sired," Alexander said. "I advise you against challenging vampires like me unless you are sure you can win. There's plenty of blood in the city, but also plenty of vampire hunters, and a fight could attract their attention."

"What's a little attention? I'm not just hungry for blood, you know. I'm hungry to take down cocky old vampires like you who haven't been challenged in a century. I think -- I think --"

His Master's vampiric aura had been growing unbearably thick and oppressive as they talked. Oliver found all thoughts being forced from his mind, fighting the urge to drop to his knees in a daze. The other vampire seemed to be struggling just as much, her speech faltering and knees shaking.

"I remember what it was like to be a young vampire," said Alexander, stopping a few steps away form her. "That's why I'm going to give you a chance to leave. Go to 32 Sparrow Road, about a mile and a half from here, and you'll find a place that sells blood cheap. Have your fill there."

The vampire nodded slowly, and then faster, backing away from his master and breaking into a run.

"You scared her off," said Oliver, as his thoughts began to return to him.

"It's the best way to handle situations like this. It's unlikely she'll last out the winter, but I don't care to be the one to kill her. Even if she's learned her lesson about confronting stronger vampires, she'll probably be picked off by a hunter while stalking the streets for food." Alexander shrugged. "In fact, if there are fledglings about, there are probably hunters. Let's go home before we receive any more unwanted company."

Oliver wasn't sure if it was his imagination or if Alexander really was gripping him more tightly on their way back to the manor.

"Let me check the mail before we go inside," said Alexander, pulling a few cards from the box. "Oh, a calling card from Lily. I suppose she did say she would be by for a social call soon. And she wants to bring Ruth." He turned to Oliver. "I believe you've met Lily's thrall, Miriam. Ruth will probably bring her favorite thrall, Charlie. You'll have someone to talk to that isn't a vampire."

"That sounds very good, sir." Oliver was surprised yet again, as he didn't expect to be allowed to socialize with other thralls. Miriam wasn't much of a conversationalist, but perhaps this Charlie would be better.

His master was flipping through a few more envelopes until he reached one plastered with stickers and stamps. Overseas mail, it seemed to be. Alexander's face lit up in a way Oliver hadn't seen before. "Let's go in."

Alexander only stopped briefly to remove his shoes and coat before heading into the library, Oliver trailing behind. He tossed the rest of the mail down on the desk before fetching a letter opener and ripping open the mail that had captured his attention. His eyes traveled back and forth rapidly, his smile growing.

"Sir?" said Oliver, unable to contain his curiosity.

"Oliver," said Alexander, startled as though he'd forgotten Oliver was there. "My dear friend is arriving for a short visit in the next few weeks."

"You seem very pleased about this, sir," he said. "Is your friend also a vampire?"

"You have nothing to fear. He'll like you."

He noticed that Alexander didn't say that Oliver would like him.

"I was going to put together a reading list for you, wasn't I?" said his master, breezing past Oliver and into the stacks, that uncharacteristic smile still plastered on his face. "Let me put that together, and that will occupy you while I compose my response to my friend."

Oliver nodded, questions swirling in his mind, unsure which, of any, to ask, and feeling that Alexander was likely to dodge them all.

Previous Masterlist Next

A bit of an interlude before the shit hits the fan.

I'm trying to build up a bit of a buffer so that I can continue weekly postings of the main story, and then I hope to burn down some of this inbox backlog...

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives

[somefanficrecomendations]

2023 BEST READS

A few days late but hey, better late than never! This is a non-comprehensive list of my favorite fics that I’ve read in 2023! Criteria for a fic to be included on this list are:

I read the fic in 2023

I reread the fic at least once

I can rate 5/5 stars without hesitation

The fics are organized by fandom but otherwise are in no particular order.

BATMAN

New Wave by yellow_caballero Batman (gen), 103k, Reverse Robins, Stephanie Brown is Robin Some lunatic in a bat costume is running around Gotham clowning on fools, but local delinquent Stephanie Brown has way bigger problems. When her father and friends start joining mob wars Steph knows she has to do something about it before Gotham collapses. If that means joining up with rich dudes playing dress up, pasty nerds with hacking and photography habits, and throwing on a costume herself, then that’s just what she’ll have to do. Even if Batman works alone. She’s convincing. In which Stephanie Brown rocks the radical nineties and becomes the first Robin, ruining Batman’s life and giving Tim Drake a hobby.

birdsong by ScarlettSwordMoon Nightwing (gen), 22k, Dick Grayson-Centric After getting a face full of Scarecrow’s newest toxin, Dick isn’t haunted by his typical nightmares. No. This one has little green pixie boots. AKA Batman: Ego but make it Robin. Nightwing 60th Anniversary Bingo: Drugs & Toxins

Keep Your Head, Your Backbone, and Your Heart by MrMich Batman (gen) 54k, Dimension Travel, Duke Thomas-centric The last thing that Duke expected on what was supposed to be just a regular patrol was being suddenly thrown five years into the past, coming face to face with a darker, more violent Batman than the one he knew, a broken family, and a Tim who was a foot shorter than Duke, and not even Robin yet.

Loading and Aspect Ratio by JUBE514 Batman (Superbat), 45k, Wings AU A world where nobody has wings, but people think they do, and that changes everything.

Our Bodies & Other Fine Machines by SilverSkiesAtMidnight Batman (gen), 13k, Starvation He has never argued with a punishment, not since he was a toddler, if then. Surely she’ll listen, surely she’ll see this is too harsh, that he wouldn’t be disrespecting her like this if he was simply sulking over not getting his way. He needs that food, needs to be able to eat enough if he wants to be Robin. He’s been hungry before, but back then, it never mattered if he was a little weak or dizzy. It never risked his life or the life of his partner when he was a kid. She turns, sighing softly and pursing her lips. She reaches out to pat his cheek, and for a moment his heart soars hopefully, and he barely restrains himself from leaning into the rare bit of contact and soaking up his mother’s touch. “Oh, Timothy,” she tuts. “This is for the best. And honestly, I think it’s wise for you to cut down a bit on the snacks. I’d hate to have to listen to anyone tittering at the next gala that you’re getting chubby.” And without another backwards glance, she turns and heads upstairs, leaving Tim alone and frozen at the bottom of the steps.

You, Me, and the Humanity in Between by JUBE514 Batman (gen), 65k, Non-Human Robins Bruce is trying his best to protect the city that he loves. He doesn't know how exactly his Robins came to be- they're not fully human, not even at all. All he knows is that he wants to keep them safe.

Little Red by destiny919 Batman: Under the Red Hood (gen), 39k, Series, Jason is Tim’s Parent AU where Tim is younger and has been illegally adopted by his hero, the Red Hood.

A Different Game by Hinn_Raven Batman (multi), 62k, Red Hood!Stephanie Brown, Role Reversal Stephanie Brown died with a mouth full of blood and her eyes wide open, staring at the locked door, hoping still for a miracle, for a rescue. She died in a hidden place, still hanging from the ceiling by her wrists, bleeding out from a wound in her stomach, and no one was with her when her heart gave its last beat. AU where Stephanie Brown dies as Robin and becomes the Red Hood.

bad news, this place is magic as fuck by mikkal Batman (gen), 28k, All-Caste Jason Todd, Magic Jason Jason's on the trail of a killer who's targeting kids in Crime Alley for an unknown magical ritual. Between that and his family who insists on butting in, he's got his work cut out for him. But, as they say, nothing is as it seems.

Wings over Gotham by icarus_chained Batman, DC (gen), 190k, No Man’s Land, Independent Gotham An AU where an altered version of No Man’s Land happened while Bruce was in his late teens/early twenties, and Batman was born in the hellish crucible of a trapped city that was left for dead and then violently retaken. Gotham may pretend to run by mainlander rules for the sake of those who would have died otherwise, but under the surface, Bruce, Jim, Leslie, Ivy and Oswald and their pack keep their own council, and look with jaundiced eyes on the mainland.

A Meditation on Railroading by eggmacguffin Batman (gen), 24k, Hurt/Comfort When he ends up ditched in Atlanta after a fight with his dad, Tim decides to do the only sensible thing: Tell no one and make the 800 mile journey back to Gotham on his own. Because the "call Batman when you're in trouble" rule only applies when he's Robin, right?

THE BATMAN (2022)

I’m a Good Pretender by shipNslash The Batman (2022) (gen), 40k, Dick Grayson-Centric Dick’s mother raised her son to be a star. Dick’s father raised his son to be an athlete. Bruce's new ward is charming (manipulative), dedicated (obsessive), and way, way too smart for either of their own good.

In This or Any Other Universe by wildsofmarch The Batman (2022) (gen), 33k, Dimension Travel There was a new vigilante in his city: a man who smiled too much and talked too loud and knew his way around a fight a little too well. Bruce wasn't bothered by his antics. Except the man also seemed to know a little too much about him. Who was this Nightwing, anyway? OR: Dick Grayson (DCU) accidentally lands himself in Battinson’s Gotham.

DC LEGENDS OF TOMORRW

Countless Roads by nirejseki Arrowverse, DC Legends of Tomorrow (Mick Rory/Leonard Snart), 231k, Medium Leonard Snart, AU-Ghosts Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him. Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.

Straight On Till Morning by nirejeski Arrowverse, DC Legends of Tomorrow (Sara Lance/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart), 17k, Time Pirates Left alone in the Refuge, Mick and Sara decide they're going to be proactive about their fate. They end up becoming time pirates. Because of course they do.

THE WITCHER

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by Heronfem The Witcher (Aiden/Lambert), 190k, WIP, AU-Modern Setting, AU-College/University Aiden Kett and Lambert Wilkson accidentally get married, and this is honestly probably the least of their problems.

By the Broken Lock That Freed Me by inexplicifics The Witcher, (muti), 46k, AU-Daemons, Accidental Warlord Series Aiden takes a contract on the Duke of Velen. He's not expecting the most interesting part of the whole affair to be meeting the duke's betrothed. His daemon thinks they should keep her. Aiden's not sure how that will work, given that he's already got a Wolf and doesn't know how Lambert and his daemon might feel about adding someone else to their little pack, but it's awfully tempting. And Cats aren't very good at resisting temptation.

Intent by tnico The Witcher (Aiden/Lambert), 18k, Non-Traditional A/B/O, 5+1 "You think I don't know what you're after?" Lambert accuses. "Well, I'd certainly hope you do, by this point in the evening," Aiden (so he says) agrees in a convincingly genial tone. It'd probably be enough to fool someone else on the matter of genuine interest.

SPIDERVERSE

gonna crack a rib (when i get home) by eneliii Spiderverse (gen), 40k, Cannon Divergence Miles Morales, recently landed in Earth 42, has had enough of everyone’s shit and he’s going to save his dad or so help him he’ll lose his mind. Miles Morales 42, just wants to know what the /hell/ is up with his doppelgänger.

MCU

The Hero's Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer by pagination MCU, Welcome to Night Vale (multi), 23k, Crossover The thing is, when an agent reaches clearance level five, it’s because they’re valuable, capable of something an exponentially diminishing few can offer in the ranks of SHIELD. Clint Barton, his personal issues notwithstanding, is unstoppable behind a scope. Jim Woo is an analyst and extractor par excellence. Melinda May has infiltrated half the presidential offices of Asia, and Phil Coulson has an instinct for the unusual that could be the basis of an entire TV show. Jasper’s less certain what he brings to the party.

If I Knew You Were Coming I'd've Baked a Cake by OddityBoddity MCU, Hawkeye (gen), 27k, Baking They’re the broken ones. That’s what Clint figures the rest think about him and Barnes. Clint with his eardrums trashed, Barnes with a regiment’s worth of trauma and a psychotic cybernetic arm, put in the same room and told to make nice while the others get to go on missions and do important things and save the world. Well they're not broken. So of course they got bored and tired of being sidelined and decided to entertain themselves. And of course they ended up wanted, running through the streets of Paris with bananas down their pants and gendarmes in pursuit. Of course they did.

[2smolbeans]

There's Always A Loop To Something

Yandere Miguel O'Hara x Amateur Scientific Researcher Reader [TEASER]

Note: This takes place before Miles shows up, and the reader goes by He/Him pronouns. I'm thinking that there might be at least 20 chapters/parts for this whole story!

So for now this is kind of just a sneak peek of what scenes or important parts I have in mind for the future story! PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND! THE STORY ISN'T BEING FULLY WRITTEN YET!

Tags: implied imprisonment, betrayal, lost friendship, reader is a sucker for their in-universe Miguel, Miguel's jealousy of his other self, heavily implicated self loathing

*Btw this is unedited, so forgive me if some stuff is weird

_________________________

You weren't anyone special, really, just some regular citizen. You weren't truly smart, athletic, or exceedingly attractive compared to those around you. You barely scraped by high school with those god-awful grades, your averages being around the low 50s, and your highest mark being a 72.

There was nothing you were really good at that made you stand out in any field or path in life. If anything, you were below average when it came to anything.

But your dear friend, Miguel O'Hara, well, he was a different story. He was more than you could've ever been in your entire 26 years of living.

That man was a genius beyond your comprehension, worked for the most renound worldwide research organization, engineered new innovative technology you didn't even know could exist!

You didn't know where to start with that man, but with someone so marvelous, and with you being the bottom of the barrel as a failure, you found it funny how the two of you became friends.

He was a scientist, a man of brilliance working in Alchemax- discovering ways to improve society and mankind! You were just a lowly janitor who managed to get the job through persuasion and sweet talking.

_________________________

You even loved him through his flaws and insecurities. You loved that Miguel for his slight chubby exterior that he seemed to despise, sympthazied with his uncontrollable anger that would explode whenever work had tortured him cruelly, his cowardly shyness that made it hard for him to socialize with other people. You loved him for that. You adored him for what he was, followed him with puppy dog eyes wherever he walked.

Why couldn't he have that?

He was better than that Miguel, more ways than he could ever list out. But still, no matter what, you always looked at their direction and not his. Even after that 'incident' with your Miguel, you were still so attached to him - hoping to see him and make amends. You always bombarded Miguel, begging and pleading with him to open up that screen and watch your bestfriend from a distance. He couldn't say no to you, of course, not when you were leaning onto his chest with those pleading eyes.

He hated it, though. He hated seeing you long for someone other than him - even though that other someone was technically him. It irked him. He was a better version of your bestfriend, you even admitted it yourself!

He found it so strange how you would stare at him with an expression he couldn't explain, the question that was bottling up for those months finally coming to the surface.

"[Name], how do you feel about him?"

Your eyes whipped towards Miguel, your neck scolding you as you felt the whiplash hit you. You were taken aback, stepping away from Miguel, who only took a few steps closer whenever you backed away.

"Uh- oh..Mhnn..Why do you ask?"

"Well, it doesn't hurt to know what another person thinks of me from another dimension, right?"

You relaxed as Miguel looked at you softly, laughing in the midst of his words as he shrugged his shoulders.

"True.. I mean if the roles were reversed, I'd probably ask the same thing."

Alone in that dark room with only those orange luminescent lights glowing. You smiled while you fidgeted with the long sleeves of your sweater. Biting your lip, you let out a small laugh as you shook your head, in disbelief of what you were about to tell Miguel.

"Even though he hurt me, I still.. miss him. It's took me a while to realise but, he's my partner! He's been there through my ups and downs. We've had each other's backs."

Your hands were now covering your face. You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks as you averted your eyes away from Miguel. Not noticing his increasing grip on the desk that seemed to bruise from his claws etched into the screens.

"It's weird saying this since I'm technically confessing to him right now, but I love him, Miguel. He's really all I have,"

Miguel, on the other hand, begged to differ with your statement..

"But you have me, right?"

___________________________

"You know what? Maybe I'll figure out the gadget or whatever the fuck it's called by myself."

"Hah! As if you'd ever be able to amount to MY work. You know you need me, your fucking stupid when it comes to anything- even the simplest of tasks! Trust me, I don't think I'll miss working with you one bit."

And there it was.

You felt your throat tighten painfully, the tears starting to form in your eyes as you jerked yourself away from his attention, barely wanting to look at his face. You could tell how he regretted his words immediately, you could feel how quick the guilt settled in him as his voice cracked.

"Wait- no I'm sorry that was--"

You could feel yourself growing more bitter as Miguel started to ramble, trying so pathetically to apologize to you. How long have you endured his aggravated insults? All for what? Because you cared for him? You always catered to his anger, to his expections, to his rules- and you never really minded.

But this was the final straw.

Storming out of the empty space, you didn’t even glance back at him. Ignoring his final plea for you to stay.

"Maybe finding a better Miguel that wouldn't treat his own friend like shit would be worth trying."

_____________________________

Something was wrong, very wrong. You couldn’t find a way back home. You felt yourself panicking as you scavanged for materials in your room, trying to work out every variable that could be your solutuon to getting home.

Maybe if you just- what if you put that formula over there and add some biometerics or whatever the fuck- oh what the hell, you didn’t know anything about physics, let alone fucking inventing mechanisms for multiverse travel on the spot!

If only you were smart, if only you were fucking competent at ONE thing. You could hear his footsteps, he could open up that very door right now.

Quick- think of something, use that dumb head of yours to finally do something useful for once in your life!

Knock knock

Oh shit.

"[Name]? Can we talk-"

Quickly before he could enter the room, you were quick to tear off any clothes that were easy to remove.

"Don't come in! I'm changing!"

"Oh shoot- Sorry!"

There. You had only a few seconds to think of something off the spot. The shelves? Not there. Closet? Nothing. Maybe under the bed?

"Listen, I know it's hard for you to take it all in. But trust me, it is for the best..."

You could hear him pause for a moment, trying to think of something to say. Finally for what seemed like forever he spoke from the other side of the door with that soft gentle voice. It would've been comforting, if it weren't considered the fact that he was keeping you hostage in this godforsaken dimension.

"Its happened to me, I've seen it with my own eyes. My daug-- she..She dissapeared in my arms [Name]. I know it hurts, but theres nothing we can do."

You didn’t say anything as you knew talking back would be fruitless. You've tried so hard to reason with him, to tell him that there's always a loophole to everything. That you didn’t care if the risks were too high, that it was worth dying to save the ones that you loved in that universe.

That you were at least willing to die alongside your only friend and family, your Miguel.

So biting back your thoughts, you only gritted your teeth and lied sweetly as you fed him what he wanted to hear.

"I know..Its just, why can't I be with them when it happens? Wouldn’t it be unfair if I were the only survivor from that universe?"

Screw driver? No. Wire? No. Where the hell were your things?! Where the fuck did you put that stupid blueprint for making the goddamn gadget?!

"Well..It's what I would've wanted, what he would've wanted. To keep you safe honey.."

"I know, I guess your right..Its just so hard to process it you know?"

"I know..Thats why I'm coming in."

What? Wait why? What's he doing? Before you could even process and save grace, Miguel opened the door, closing it behind him before locking it shut. The sound of the lock clicking echoing in the room, signaling your fate.

"I'm not stupid, I knew you would've tried to do something like this. You're stuborn, stupidly stuborn. Just like me.."

He saw how frozen in place you were. Catching you red handed trying to search the room for your toolbox and tools. Eyeing you up and down, taking in your form, he chuckled as he saw your half naked body. Finding it funny that you tried so hard to lie to him, assuming he wasn’t a few steps ahead of you.

You do know as the leader of the Spider society, he does have eyes everywhere, Right?

It's really simple.

Espically when all it takes is a hole the size of a needle to spy on someone without them knowing. Miguel wanted to be extra cautious with you afterall, he didn’t care if he had to peek in your room with those cameras here and there - invading your personal space and time by all unethical means.

If it meant keeping the one that supposedly loved him in check, then so be it. Letting out a low laugh, Miguel made his way onto your bed, sitting at the edge of it as he then patted to the spot right next to him.

"It's why I got rid of everything. Now, honey, get on the bed. Now. And let's just talk it out, okay?"

.

.

.

_________________________

[goldsasa]

Dear Sirs!

(or have some ladies also signed?)

A few days ago, you, Mr Musk, together with Mr Wozniak, Mr Mostaque and other signatories, published an open letter demanding a compulsory pause of at least six months for the development of the most powerful AI models worldwide.

This is the only way to ensure that the AI models contribute to the welfare of all humanity, you claim. As a small part of the whole of humanity, I would like to thank you very much for wanting to protect me. How kind! 🙏🏻

Allow me to make a few comments and ask a few questions in this context:

My first question that immediately came to mind:

Where was your open letter when research for the purpose of warfare started and weapon systems based on AI were developed, leading to unpredictable and uncontrollable conflicts?

AI-based threats have already been used in wars for some time, e.g. in the Ukraine war and Turkey. Speaking of the US, they are upgrading their MQ-9 combat drones with AI and have already used them to kill in Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq.

The victims of these attacks - don't they count as humanity threatened by AI?

I am confused! Please explain to me, when did the (general) welfare of humanity exist, which is now threatened and needs to be protected by you? I mean the good of humanity - outside your "super rich white old nerds Silicon Valley" filter bubble? And I have one more question:

Where was your open letter when Facebook's algorithms led to the spread of hate speech and misinformation about the genocide of Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar?

Didn't the right to human welfare also apply to this population group? Why do you continue to remain silent on the inaction and non-transparent algorithms of Meta and Mr Zuckerberg? Why do you continue to allow hatred and agitation in the social media, which (at least initially) belonged to you without exception?

My further doubt relates to your person and your biography itself, dear Mr Musk.

You, known as a wealthy man with Asperger's syndrome and a penchant for interplanetary affairs, have commendably repeatedly expressed concern about the potentially destructive effects of AI robots in the past. I thank you for trying to save me from such a future. It really is a horrible idea!

And yet, Mr Musk, you yourself were not considered one of the great AI developers of Silicon Valley for a long time.

Your commitment to the field of artificial intelligence was initially rather poor. Your Tesla Autopilot is a remarkable AI software, but it was developed for a rather niche market.

I assume that you, Mr Musk, wanted to change that when you bought 73.5 million of Twitter's shares for almost $2.9 billion in April?

After all, to be able to play along with the AI development of the giants, you lacked one thing above all: access to a broad-based AI that is not limited to specific applications, as well as a comprehensive data set.

The way to access such a dataset was to own a large social network that collects information about the consumption patterns, leisure activities and communication patterns of its users, including their social interactions and political preferences.

Such collections about the behaviour of the rest of humanity are popular in your circles, aren't they?

By buying Twitter stock, you can give your undoubtedly fine AI professionals access to a valuable treasure trove of data and establish yourself as one of Silicon Valley's leading AI players.

Congratulations on your stock purchase and I hope my data is in good hands with you.

Speaking of your professionals, I'm interested to know why your employees have to work so hard when you are so concerned about the well-being of people?

I'm also surprised that after the pandemic your staff were no longer allowed to work in their home offices. Is working at home also detrimental to the well-being of humanity?

In the meantime, you have taken the Twitter platform off the stock market.

It was never about money for you, right? No, you're not like that. I believe you!

But maybe it was about data? These are often referred to as the "oil of our time". The data of a social network is like the ticket to be one of the most important AI developers in the AI market of the future.

At this point, I would like to thank you for releasing parts of Twitter's code for algorithmic timeline control as open source. Thanks to this transparency, I now also know that the Twitter algorithm has a preference for your Elon Musk posts. What an enrichment of my knowledge horizon!

And now, barely a year later, this is happening: OpenAi, a hitherto comparatively small company in which you have only been active as a donor and advisor since your exit in 2018, not only has enormous sources of money, but also the AI gamechanger par excellence - Chat GPT. And virtually overnight becomes one of the most important players in the race for the digital future. It was rumoured that your exit at the time was with the intention that they would take over the business? Is that true at all?

After all I have said, I am sure you understand why I have these questions for you, don't you?

I would like to know what a successful future looks like in your opinion? I'm afraid I'm not one of those people who can afford a $100,000 ticket to join you in colonising Mars. I will probably stay on Earth.

So far I have heard little, actually nothing, about your investments in climate projects and the preservation of the Earth.

That is why I ask you, as an advocate of all humanity, to work for the preservation of the Earth - with all the means at your disposal, that would certainly help.

If you don't want to do that, I would very much appreciate it if you would simply stop worrying about us, the rest of humanity. Perhaps we can manage to protect the world from marauding robots and a powerful artificial intelligence without you, your ambitions and your friends?

I have always been interested in people. That's why I studied social sciences and why today I ask people what they long for. Maybe I'm naive, but I think it's a good idea to ask the people themselves what they want before advocating for them.

The rest of the world - that is, the 99,9 percent - who are not billionaires like you, also have visions!

With the respect you deserve,

Susanne Gold

(just one of the remaining 99% percent whose welfare you care about).

[littlemisslipbalm]

Demonology: Me & My Dog

Series Summary: A new demon has come to Nashville. Josh and Jake's ways of life have been thrown off by her arrival. The angel and demon have lived with an understanding of one another, but with Y/N stirring up trouble and asking questions, they're forced to work out a new normal. And why is she so powerful for a human turned demon anyway, that's unusual, right?

Jake Kiszka x f!reader and Josh Kiszka x f!reader

A/N: This will be at least three parts! This first part is more about Josh and the reader, the second will be more Jake and then we will see with part 3 what is to happen. Please let me know what you think with comments and reblogs and messages to my inbox!! I want to talk about this bc I have been so excited to share it!!

Word Count: 5.4k | Warnings: alcohol consumption, strong language, allusions to sex - minor descriptions of sex but not descriptive smut (still 18+!!), dubious comprehension of angel/demon mythology, like this is fiction fr so if it does not make sense i am sorry but idc (but am also open to suggestions thx)

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Part 1: My & My Dog

When being told to stir up some trouble on Earth, Y/N was more annoyed that she had to go back at all than excited that she was moving up in the ranks. Afterall, she’d only died 50 years ago. It was already time to go back? She thought she had eternity down here. 

From what she’d heard from other members of the underworld, it’d just gotten worse since she’d left. Prior to 1976 had been a riot for her (1976 was not her favorite, but dying usually wasn’t in people’s top ten greatest moments), but now it sounds worse than Hell itself.  

Still, like a good little demon soldier, she trudged through the dim back rooms to find the dull office that would provide her with the necessary documents to take a corporeal form and inhabit the physical sphere for an extended period of time. 

“Can I bring my dog?” She asks, kicking at a piece of garbage on the floor. It littered the entire ground around her feet. 

“Dog?” The servant of hell inquired. 

“Chupacabra,” She corrects.

“Sure,” Their eyes raise from filling out the paperwork to the little animal beside her. “Extra form you need to both sign. Says he’ll suck the blood of at least five animals per earthly week while he’s there. We don’t do ESAs here.”  

“Fab,” She sighed in relief and scratched behind the ears of her dog that she had re-encountered shortly after arriving in Hell. 

The chupacabra placed his paw in some mysterious blood that had formed in the pewter catch-all dish sitting beside the papers and then pushed it onto the form. Signed, sealed and soon to be delivered. They were getting out of Hell. 

-

When she materialized on Earth, she wasn’t sure where she was exactly. The home office didn’t give that information, you just had to figure it out yourself. She had been hoping for her hometown of Los Angeles or another major city center she’d never been to before. Maybe London or Tokyo would be a fun change of pace. 

After walking what felt like 20 miles, but was probably half of that given that she wasn’t used to physical legs anymore, she came upon a sign as to where she was. A mural to be exact. 

It had only been woods and fields for the first half, but then there were more buildings. Coffee shops, bagel shops and something that was called a ‘Vape’ shops. Everything advertised themselves as historic music sites. But it wasn’t until 1504 Demonbreun St. that she fully ascertained she was in the heart of Nashville, Tennessee. 

“Welcome to Nashville”

“Fuck yeah,” She smiled. A friend back in the day had been from here and told her about it a few times. It wasn’t a major capital city or home, but it was a city alright. And where there was nightlife, she was sure there could be trouble. 

She spent the rest of the day checking around her surroundings. Finding the place Hell had given her to lodge in. It wasn’t much but she remembered earthly delights and planned to spruce it up, give it a vibe. She wrote a note on the wall with a deep red pen she had brought with her a list of items she needed. Couch, rug, bed, posters, an electric guitar and lots of wine and clothes. The ink dripped down the wall and she smiled, swiping at it and placing it to her lips. 

She passed the rest of the daylight hours with great displeasure for the living people around her who barely seemed to notice her. Not that she looked any different than them, but it just bothered her that no one was as friendly as when she’d last been here. No one bothered to say ‘hello’, all they did was stare or talk into their rectangular devices she had realized were portable telephones half way through the day. 

Broadway St. seemed to be the place Y/N thought she’d find the most possible trouble. It was lit up like the Sunset and if it weren’t for all the horribly dressed people surrounding her, she would’ve felt right at home. 

At one of the bars, she got free shots from the bartender with a flash of her eyes. From the regular dark brown iris, they flashed an entire eternal glassy black. He smiled dreamily in the abyss and walked away after she winked at him. She swung back the shots and made her way to the dance floor. 

Raising her hands above her head, she began to dance. Her black lace dress hugged her curves and shifted with her. Her silver jewelry glinted dangerously as she moved. The lights in the bar shifted to stay red instead of the flashing multi-colors that had bothered her when she entered. She moved her hips to the music and slowly it transformed from a poppy song she didn’t know to Led Zeppelin. 

Robert Plant’s voice got everyone dancing the way they should and the vapes transformed into cigarettes and she smiled to herself feeling alive for the first time in a long time. Maybe being back wasn’t so bad. She drank more and danced more and saw people getting drunk and making out in corners and thought debauchery worked as trouble. Job done for the day. 

She relaxed into the sway of the music, writhing around like a snake as her skin grew dewey with perspiration. A tug at her arm brought her out of her euphoric state. All night she had made sure no one would bother her, but whoever this was didn’t seem to follow her rules. 

She opened her eyes, fully black once more as she stared at who was holding her wrist. She tugged back but his hold was secure. He pulled her to the side of the dancefloor, a space conveniently opening up. 

“Get your hands off me! What the fuck, man?”

“You can’t be here,” He spoke calmly. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. He had on a white plain t-shirt and light wash jeans, with opalescent beads hanging around his neck. His eyes were an oddly familiar light brown. His hair was shaved on the sides, creating a sort of mullet that she mildly appreciated if he hadn’t been so rude as to pull her away from her fun. That mullet exposed the golden earrings in his pointy ears. 

There was something different about him. None of it was in his physical form but she felt it, vibrating and extending around him. As if he had invisible light passing around and through him even in the dark dingy bar lighting. 

“Says who?” She finally tugged her arm free from his hold and crossed her arms across her chest, pressing her breasts up in the process. 

His eyes flicker to the movement before pressing his lips into a thin line “Says me.” 

She rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “And you are?” 

“Joshua. I protect this town," he says. He wrings his hands around the gold bracelets on his wrists. “You can’t come into these bars and just mess with everything about them. It’s wrong.” 

“Yes I can, Josh,” She smirks. “I’m a demon as you clearly already can tell. I can do whatever I want.” 

“Oh my God,” Josh sighs, exasperated already. “There’s already a demon here.” He knew the other one quite well and was at least able to keep him in check. A newcomer would mean more work. 

She shrugged. “Not my problem, angel. Hell sent me up here, guess they’re not happy with the other one’s performance.” 

She moved to go back to the bar for another drink when Josh looked like he was a million miles away. He’d really killed her buzz. Josh’s mentioning of another demon made her stop and ask as an afterthought: “What’s this other demon’s name?” 

“Jacob–er, uh, Jake,” Josh corrects himself. He hadn’t gone by Jacob since, well, since before, even if Josh wished he could just call him Jacob. 

“Groovy.” Her smile is wicked, her lips painted a red so deep it resembled dried blood. “Displeasure meeting you, angel. Come find me if you ever want to have a real good time.” She kissed his cheek before disappearing behind a group of people. 

-

Two weeks later, Y/N was seated on a bench in the park with her legs kicked up. She looked like she was a dead body–which more or less, she was, but the way she was sitting was unusual for someone who was supposedly alive. Her dog was perched unnaturally along the backrest, soaking in the sun he had missed. They looked out of place. 

She had come out in the midday to see if she could start any fights in the park. She’d quickly learned that malfunctions with their little handheld phones really upset the modern humans so she liked to mess with wifi and electrical connections every odd day or so just to keep up the no-good work. 

Her black RayBans covered her eyes as they surveyed the green grass for potential targets for a bit of a row. She sat as far away from the people as possible, so she had enhanced her vision as if using a zoom function. But soon something white blocked her vision. 

“Angel,” She practically growled. Her dog actually growled, sitting up. 

“Mind if I sit,” Josh asks pleasantly, eyeing the dog with caution. It looked like a normal dog, but a clip in his right ear and a strange red shimmer in his eyes made Josh think there might be something hellish about him. 

She took her feet off the bench and pushed her sunglasses up off of her face. “Finally want a taste of what you’re missing?” 

“No,” he states flatly. His eyes were still wandering between the creature and the demon. She was dressed in all black, typical. The dog was between cream and the lightest brown he’d ever seen, atypical. “Is this your dog?” 

“Yeah.” She smiles softly for the first time. Her hand goes to pet him between his ears and down his small snout. “He was waiting for me in Hell back’n the day. They made him a chupacabra for me as a ‘Welcome to Hell’ present.” 

Josh’s eyes widened in surprise. What had she done in life to receive a present in Hell? “They like you down there?” 

“Eh…I think I’m just a descendant of many a troublemaker. They knew I’d be an asset, especially when I arrived so early.” 

Her dog slipped into her lap. For a moment, he shifted as he stared at Josh. Big ruby eyes glowered at him, all his hair was gone, leaving something more resembling a pale soft dog-rat. Disturbing and wretched, nonetheless. He wrinkled his nose at Josh. 

Josh tried to smile, feeling awkward. Jake had insisted he find this demon Josh had encountered, needing more information about whether he was really in trouble or if it was procedural. Why Jake wouldn’t do it himself, Josh never got as many answers as questions he asked. 

“Do either of you have names?” 

She grinned. “Is this twenty questions? Why so interested in me?” 

“Just want to get to know my opposition,” Josh says lightly, praying for her to feel extra kind today. Afterall, she was a demon who was originally human and it was only a little while ago from what she seemed to like. He was pretty sure she’d only been down in Hell for 50-60 years, that was barely a human lifetime—and yet it was longer than hers. Far less than Jake. Maybe he could neutralize her, get her to see the bright side. 

“His name is Rune, now, but it used to be Rori.” She rubs over the dog’s hair, happy that he was softer on Earth. “He responds to both–for me. Not sure what he should be called now we’re back.” 

Josh waited patiently. The breeze was cooler than usual and looking at her, he had to assume it was her as well. She seemed far too powerful for a run-of-the-mill demon who used to be human. But she also seemed extremely unlikely to answer his questions if he got too personal. 

With her eyes uncovered, Josh watched them move around as she thought about something. It was almost like she was tracking something or doing some long form math equation in her head. Like she didn’t know what her name was and was looking for the answer. 

“Mine…well, now you can call me Sal.” She winks and Josh straightens in his seat, feeling strange. “Gonna write about me in your diary now, Joshua?” 

Josh pretends to laugh with a clipped “ha ha.” She smirked again, sliding closer to Josh on the bench. Rori grew annoyed and hopped off her lap, slinking off to climb a tree in hopes of finding a squirrel. Sal extended a delicate hand to Josh’s shoulder, beginning to play with the fabric of his shirt. He smiled tightly, not having anywhere to go if he wanted more answers. 

“You said you arrived early?” Josh’s voice is high as he feels her touch moving down his arm. Thankfully, being an angel kept him from feeling her entire influence, but her physical touch was enough to feel something…unholy. He didn’t want to imagine her abilities on mortals. “What did you mean?” 

“You’re fun,” She beamed. “If I show you some tricks I picked up in Hell, will you show me something?” 

“It depends what you want to see,” Josh tries to be diplomatic. 

Her head throws back in laughter. “Not that. No, I want you to want me to see that.” Her hand wanders to his wrist and toys with the bracelet before slinking to his thigh. Her voice was low and sultry, lips pressed to his ear. “Desperately.” 

Josh was starting to feel like he might have to leave. His breathing had turned shallow and he couldn’t stop staring at the carnelian stone hanging between her breasts. Her hand’s touch left him and she laughed again bringing him out of his reverie. 

“Hell, you’re pretty cute…I was a 27 club member.” She shrugged, turning away from Josh to stare out at the people again. “Had my heyday in the late 60s/early 70s and went out the same way I lived. Fast.” 

Josh thought about the 60s and the 70s. He’d admit those decades were a bit of a guilty pleasure for him. Nashville had been fun, not as crowded. He watched her again, seeing her eyes narrow looking at the couples and the groups of friends. 

“You weren’t from here?” 

“LA. Broadway’s kinda like the Sunset Strip, just a bit more loser-y…NashVegas, just like Liv said.” 

Josh was about to protest, but refrained, letting her reminisce. She did miss her friends from back then. They’d gotten up to so much trouble. Sometimes too much. 

“Best of times, worst of times kind of thing y’a dig?” She tapped the heel of her boot like she was trying to shake off something unpleasant. “Just glad I had my dog for most of the time. He followed me everywhere and everyone’d let ‘im in because he was such a doll. Died ‘bout three years ‘fore me.”

The more she spoke the more her accent of a bygone era of California popped up. Josh couldn’t deny how sweet she sounded when she spoke about that thing, demonic as the pair of them were. 

“How long’ve you’ve been up–er, down here?” She asked, barely realizing she had to correct for him. 

Josh cast his eyes to the sky, thinking. “Since the beginning. That’s like, 8000 human years, I believe.” 

“Get the fuck outta town!” She exclaimed, jumping in her seat to face him. Her eyes were alight with hellfire. “You’re a proper angel then?” 

Josh chuckled. “They don’t really take new hires upstairs, I’m afraid. Only very special occasions. It doesn’t happen much these days.” 

She regarded him for a moment, inventorizing him again now that she deemed him far more interesting than before. “Yeah, I was on a special list when I came down. Only a few others in my line, everyone else had to wait in this huge waiting room. It was…repulsive and I’ve been in the alley behind the Whisky.” 

Josh tilted his head, looking over her once more. He felt like he should know her, but he couldn’t understand from where. She looked so familiar. Her hair seemed to shift every so often and he couldn’t be sure if it was the light or mood dependent. He didn’t prod at her mentioning the special treatment in Hell, didn’t want to alert her to the fact, that from what he knew, that was extremely rare.

“Have you told your demon friend about me yet?” She asked.

“He’s not my friend,” Josh responds automatically. 

Her eyebrows raise as she turns her head back to him, scanning him for understanding. A killer upon its prey. 

“Secret lover?” She guesses. 

Josh can’t hide his face of disgust. “Jesus! No!”

“Homophobic?” She asks with a look of distaste. Not being for the gays was so not groovy. Half the musicians she hung out with back in the day were gay. And she wasn’t one for choosing when it came to sexuality. 

“No!” Josh cries. “I am more than an ally to that cause, not that angels really have sexualities…it’s just.” He sighs, rubbing at his neck confusion. “He was, is–I don’t know, my twin.” 

“Oh!” She beams, eyes once again lighting up in intrigue. She enjoyed learning things, it helped for using it against people at the end of the day. “So he’s also a proper demon. Fell and all that.” 

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He sounded pained, as if he was reliving the entire thing. 

“Wow…” She blows out a breath. “That must be funky.” 

She continued when Josh said nothing. “Y’know ‘cause he’s your brother but also he’s–” She finished her statement by sticking her pointer fingers through her hair and wiggling them around. 

“Yes, I am aware.” Josh shakes his head. 

She stood up and stretched her arms over her head, revealing her stomach below the flowy lace top she was wearing. “Great catch up, I guess, angel. Wanna trade tricks later? I’ve already worked through most of the main bars here and I’m getting bored.” Nothing was keeping her interest, since every place she had to transform into her liking. 

“You want to hang out with me? You want to hang out with an angel?” 

She grinned, turning around herself once before dropping her arms and stalking back towards Josh, standing directly in front of him. She leaned over him, watching him straighten his neck and swallow thickly. His eyes flickered from her face to the carnelian again. 

“Everyone else is too easy around here. I need a challenge.” Her lips were right in front of his. “You seem like the perfect remedy for a wayward soul like me.” 

-

Josh wasn’t exactly sure why he agreed to meet the demon at some speakeasy she said she needed to try. He wasn’t fully sold on calling her ‘Sal’, something about it felt off to him. She didn’t even really seem to care for it either. Jake, he knew, was vehement that he wished to be called Jake. 

Jake was probably why he had come to the back door of a pizza joint that was actually the door to the underground speakeasy. He’d asked for more information on her. When Josh had inquired why Jake couldn’t just do it himself, his twin finally fessed up that he was actually not currently in Nashville at all. Leaving the heavy lifting to Josh, like always. 

Begrudgingly, Josh entered another bar with plans to meet a demon. Heaven forgive him. It was smokey inside the brick-walled cavern. Small candles lit the tabletops and narrow bar top. A small dance floor was packed as people danced slowly to a jazz band. In the corner of the room, he saw her hair almost glowing in the dark and he made his way over. 

She was dressed in a black pantsuit, with no undershirt, just a black lace bra and her same necklace. Rori wasn’t present, from what Josh could see, but based on their conversation earlier he had a feeling the demon dog was around, lurking. 

She groaned when she saw what Josh was wearing. 

“Angel, man, do you have any other clothes besides that?” She shook her head in disappointment. 

“Of course I do,” Josh huffed, looking down at his clothes not understanding what was wrong with them. 

“Change.”

“I can’t perform miracles just to change my outfit. That’s wrong.” 

“That’s wrong, it’s wrong,” She parrots what she thought was becoming Josh’s mantra. “God, Heaven sounds so stifling.” She rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers with impatience.

In an instant, Josh was dressed in a red velvet jumpsuit with sequins around the neckline. His arms were on full display, muscles bulging while the velvet hugged his torso and lengthened his height. He smooths at his hair and feels something come off his skin. On his hand, he sees glitter. He looks at her again and then down at his new clothes. She was eyeing the bulge veering to his right thigh. 

“Much better.” She grins. 

Josh rolls his hand in front of him quickly, almost like a benediction, and once again his outfit has changed. Now, he was in a cream and grey jumpsuit that was far less flashy of his own with his favorite sigil emblazoned on the chest. He left the glitter and sat down. 

Her unamused look makes Josh feel a little hot with shame. 

“A little miracle to make sure I don’t look like a demon can be forgiven.” 

“You looked foxy but whatever.” She rolls her eyes and flicks a hand at the table, producing a bottle of red wine for both of them. “You drink, surely. C’mon, don’t act like your demon brother hasn’t corrupted a few of those precious angel feathers.” 

Josh can’t help the smile that falls over his face. Not sure what was so endearing about her at this moment. The romantic jazz might have something to do with it. He loved jazz. He takes the drink gratefully and they sip in companionable silence. She was subdued. 

With one bottle down, they start a second and this is when she offers to show Josh a trick if he’ll show her something again. He shrugs in compliance, feeling well on his way to drunk. 

“But won’t the other people in here see?” He adds. 

“No, they all know to mind their own business. Plus, it’s dark in here.” She winks and suddenly Josh is staring at only her head. 

He can seriously only see her head and neck. She moves closer to him and now Josh is certain, she’s made her body disappear. She was a dishonest-to-god floating head. Her head glowed gold for a moment as she twirled in a complete 360 to really show herself off. Josh’s eyes were as wide as possible trying not to cry out in amazement. Then the rest of her body reappeared, straddling Josh’s lap. With her arms draped over his shoulder, her all black soulless eyes gazed into Josh’s, practically paralyzing him with her fiery warmth and intensity. 

“So what do you think, angel?” 

“I, uh,” Josh stuttered. He placed his hands firmly on her hips and moved her off of him. “That’s impressive. What’s it good for?” 

“S just fun,” She shrugged, undetered by Josh removing her from his lap. “Let’s dance and then you can show me your wings or something.” 

Josh didn’t have time to protest, as she grabbed his wrist with one hand and their second bottle of pinot noir in the other. 

She took a swig before letting it float in the air beside them. Her body swiveled around the dance floor, placing herself in Josh’s arms as he swayed respectfully. She sighed and sunk into the movement, drinking from the bottle every so often. When the song changed, she turned to face Josh, handing the wine to him. He drank obediently, which she felt was a triumph. 

Hands draped over his shoulders again, she pressed her body against his. He was strong, she could feel his toned stomach. Her regular eyes met his and she tipped her nose against his. He looked stoicly back at her, determined to be friendly but not fall into the trap she was so clearly laying for him. 

“You’ve got so many defenses up,” She whispers. “Why not do what you want for once? Loosen up. Indulge.” 

Josh smiles down at her and moves his lips to her ear. Polite as ever, he speaks soothingly. “I am having a lovely time with you, Sal.”

She groans, pressing his hands to her hips again, where the curve of her ass was. “I can gaurantee you’ve never had what I’m offering you…” 

Josh smiles knowingly, unconvinced. “I’m afraid I’m above your temptations. Is seduction your main area of expertise?” 

She glares at him, but there’s a glint in her eye. She loved the chase. The difficulty. 

“Debauchery in general, but with how many people wanted to have sex with me in my first life I have a specialization in seduction and desire.” 

He shrugs, moving his hands to a respectful place on her waist. His touch is light, but she feels the pressure of his thumbs pushing at the exposed skin. She smirks and snakes her lips up to his ear. 

The gold hoop glints and she flicks her tongue over it. “I could just show you what you’re missing. If you’d allow me to put it in your mind, we wouldn’t actually do it. You’d be in complete control. Halo intact. C’mon just a few images…it’ll be informative.” 

Josh sighs as the tug of her teeth on his earring. She was bad. Terribly good at her job. He understood why she was here. Jake wasn’t even in town. Damn him. If he did his job a little better, Josh wouldn’t be contemplating allowing a demon into even a small recess of his mind. But, Jesus, did he want to just see it. If it wasn’t real, it wasn’t really a sin to indulge. 

She stares at him, waiting for his response. Her hands run over his shoulders and chest. The music swells and Josh’s hands tighten on her waist as he looks up to the ceiling, praying for forgiveness. 

“For educational purposes,” He starts and she grins. “I will allow you to show me how you do your job. So that I may be able to thwart your wrongdoings better.” 

“It’s just a little sex,” She licks her lips. “Igniting passion in people makes more babies for you to teach heavenly values or whatever. God likes sex, Josh.” Her voice is sickening, it was like she was dripping in a delicious scent that Josh can’t get out of his head. Twisting his values and her intentions into something evil that somehow made wicked sense.

He’s been careful to only open up a small piece he knows he can close, but he almost loses his footing when he finally feels her stinging lips on his. She licks into his mouth and he’s about to protest before the images begin to flow through his mind. 

‘Good thing your brother doesn’t have to transfer information like this, huh?’ Sal says within Josh’s mind. 

Guiltily, he feels himself laughing. Though his physical body is still locking lips with her. 

The room she brings him to in his mind is dark, a red lamp in the corner where two bodies are rolling around. Sighs of ecstasy filling his ears. The smell of sex hanging in his nose.

‘You’re really missing out, angel. Could show you the best thing life, and death, has to offer.’ Her voice is softer in his mind. 

The scene changes. He’s staring up at her above him. Her hips are working over him steadily as her naked breasts bounce in front of him, her necklace is the glowing light now. Her voice is sinful as she moans praises for Josh. How good he feels, how big he is, how strong he is. The scene changes and he’s driving into her with her legs over his shoulders, she’s smiling sweetly up at him with her mouth open, repeating his name like a prayer. It shifts and she’s pressed face down in the grey silk pillows, her body spread out for him as he grunts and growls, thrusting ceremoniously into her as she screams for him to keep going. It’s melodic, every bodily sound and the scene of their physical bodies uniting is hypnotic. Like it was pre-ordained that he would fit so well inside her. He feels euphoric as it shifts once more. She is back on top, his hips press up into her as she grinds down. Their faces are pressed together as Josh holds her body close to him. Arms enveloping her fragile frame. The room is quiet as they are pressed skin to skin, her lips meeting his gently. Sharp gasps escape their trembling lips.

‘Okay, enough,’ Josh pushes away from the scene, feeling both aroused and confused. 

In the speakeasy, she pulls back from the kiss with a wipe of her lips. She runs her hands through her hair as she watches Josh. She had shown him every one of his fantasies, placing herself at the center of them. They weren’t particularly raunchy, it was all about connection to him and for once she didn’t tease. 

“I like you, Joshua,” She says, truthfully, allowing him to pull their bodies a little apart. 

He was flustered and confused and embarrassed, but he also didn’t want to run. She had kept her word, shown him a few things and left. He didn’t fully understand the words she had just spoken.

He shakes his head, an awkward smile on his lips there on accident, and she stares at him wistfully. 

“I haven’t had someone in my mind in a very long time.” 

“It’s okay,” She soothes. “You really are an angel. Maybe on this earthly plane for too long since you clearly have carnal desires, but they were sweet. Every man’s mind I’ve looked into had vile and cruel desires…” She paused, looking past Josh. “Even in my first life, all the men I knew wanted to hurt the women they supposedly loved.” 

Josh’s eyebrows shot up in shock. 

“The closest you got to dirty was having me in do–”

“Okay!” Josh cut her off. “I think it’s time to call it a night.” He turned and walked swiftly through the crowd, parting easily for him–definitely not a misuse of his miracles. 

“Fine,” She grinned wickedly and whistled for Rori, sauntering after Josh. 

Back on the street, it could’ve been daytime with all the lights compared to the speakeasy. She squinted her eyes in distaste, thriving in the dark and wishing she had brought her sunglasses.

Josh was turned away from her so she tapped on his shoulder, wanting his attention. Wanting to see him again. He turned slowly and the look on his cherubic face was troubled. She frowned, about to ask what got his wings in a twist. 

A shadow stepped into Josh’s light. His hair was long and messy, in need of a wash. His silver jewelry shined heavy on his tanned chest. His black button up was almost completely open exposing his torso and he held a wide-brimmed black hat loosely in one hand and a guitar case more carefully in the other. His eyes flashed yellow when he spotted Y/N.  

She straightened her posture under his gaze and gave him a defiant look. Rori growled, but stayed behind her legs. 

Jake ran his tongue over his bottom lip, taking in the woman shaped devil before him. “You must be the new demon in town.” 

She tilted her head at him and looked between Josh and Jake. “And you must be your brother’s keeper.” 

He took a menacing step closer, narrowing his eyes at his angel of a brother before returning his gaze to her. “Something like that. Now, farewell…or don’t, I don’t care.”

She opened her mouth to speak again but no sound came out. 

His eyes flashed again as he turned on his heel and said tersely, a command, “Josh.”

The pair disappeared into fog that had appeared as suddenly as the older demon along the nighttime sidewalk and then she watched it dissipate moments later, leaving no trace of the creatures. The men. The angel and the demon.

-

to be continued... join the taglist

[infernaltenor]

the niki shiina analysis post i heavily procrastinated on, also known as "niki shiina is stupid on purpose"

"as opposed to stupid on accident?" yes.

this goes hand in hand with my other niki shiina analysis, otherwise known as niki "why in gods name would i think about my problems" shiina.

where is this particular opinion coming from? oh well. his parents. see, the thing is, he never mentions them. we know niki's parents are out of the country and have been for at least 5 years, as during hot limit, niki's already living on his own despite being 14. while theyre mentioned by eichi in the main story, its nothing else aside from that niki's father was knocked off the air by idols, resulting in them leaving. i just think its really interesting how niki deliberately doesn't bring them up. hell, he's not opposed to other people's problems, expressing concern for rinne in the main story and kohaku during the ss arc.

another aspect of this is the "casual putting of himself down" which kohaku noted enough to comment on. it's something i think factors into what niki hopes to have others perception of him be, mostly because its his own; that he's an idiot, especially considering his lower level of education from other characters in the game (not that it matters much in his unit, considering himeru is probably the only member who got close to finishing school), but he has a few weird lines where (imo) hes pushing the idea that hes an idiot, and not that he actually is one.

for instance, in both ss and hot limit, he makes references to how he "isnt paying attention" and has "no interest" when overcomplicated idol conversations come up, meaning that it has little to do with his actual comprehension of the situations and a lot more to do with his lack of interest. even more interesting to me is when in date plan, he says that he "wants" to only think about cooking, not his usual quote that he does only think about cooking. this makes me think that niki puts up a deliberate front of being an idiot, like hes pushing for being to be underestimated.

[tadpolebrains]

Hi!!! Hope you're doing well. I really like your headcanons. You make the character voices really shine through in your writing, it's very satisfying to read 😌 also they're very sweet

So in the spirit of being fun, cute and silly, are the main 6 ticklish? How do they deal with a Tav that initiates tickle fights? (Or just. Attacks. Depending on their disposition i guess). Type your words writing one

Hello to you too! Tysm dhdhdh- I’m glad my silly little ramblings reach people’s brains <3

I shall type my writing words now u.u

Bg3 Companions: Ticklish?

Lae’zel would immediately clock what you’re doing as either an attempt to catch her off guard in an attack, or a spar, depending on how close you are. So much as attempt to start a tickle fight with her, and you’re going to be wrestling on the ground within moments. She does not understand the concept at first, which makes it a bit awkward the first time you do it, as you find your legs swept from under you and your back against the ground almost immediately. After taking a moment to try and explain no, you weren’t attacking her, she… still doesn’t entirely get it. Forcing laughter out of someone? Perhaps an efficient torture method for her to store in her mind for later. Phrase it as a ‘tickle fight,’ though, and well, she must master this new form of combat, of course. She is a bit ticklish, but you really have to target the right places, and… you don’t have many chances before she just demolishes you. It’s the lighter traces along her scars, or in the softer skin of her elbows and behind her knees. She also has to be comfortable enough with you to actually let herself laugh- otherwise she’ll just stifle it as to not show weakness. Or restrain you before you can even get the chance. Regardless, you will get utterly wrecked in any attack you try to make.

Astarion hates the idea of it, at least initially. He doesn’t like being forced to do anything, and especially lacking control over his own body/reactions. Any surprise attacks, especially from behind, immediately get him on the defensive- he’ll act all snarky and give disapproving clicks of his tongue, trying to cover up the fact that he just flinched pretty noticeably away from your hands. It isn’t until much later down the line, once he’s started healing a bit from his trauma, that he’d possibly enjoy it. Even then, it’s light, and expected. Little scribbles against his sides as you two are walking, or teasingly behind his ear is you’re cupping his cheek. His neck, especially where his bite mark from Cazador is, is off-limits. Brings up bad memories. But laying in bed, snugly against each other, tracing light lines along his sides and chest, tickling enough to have him all smiley without forcing full-on laughter out of him? That’s great. Helping him adjust to non-sexual forms of intimacy.

Gale. This man is definitely ticklish. I think there’s literally a line about it in-game if my memory serves correct. Now, is trying to sneak up on him and tickle him while he has the Netherese Orb in his chest a good idea? Debatable. He’d definitely make several comments through his laughter about it being a horrid idea to target the man who could level a town with such an assault, though he’d be laughing so hard it might not be all that comprehensible. Tara has definitely taken advantage of his ticklishness to get him out of fixating on things from time to time, nuzzling pointedly against his neck until he agrees to put a book down. I can imagine him being in the middle of some long-winded explanation, having gotten way off track from the initial conversation, and to get him to stop you just reach over and scribble a few fingers against his neck, making him squawk in protest and scrunch up his shoulders. He’d likely retaliate using a mage hand, poking at you during unassuming moments during the day and pretending to be intently focused on something else when you turn to him with knowing eyes. Hm? Oh, no, it definitely wasn’t him. He’s been looking at this rock the whole time! Now, fun fact about rocks- hey, get that hand away!

Karlach is an absolute tickling monster. At least, once she has her touch back. She’ll take any excuse to get close to people, so spontaneous tickle fights? Absolutely. Not only will she go along with it, but she’ll spring at you when you least expect it as well. She has the strength to push you away or take control easily, but oftentimes doesn’t use her full strength for the sake of fun. Her tail will be wagging as she laughs openly, not even trying to hide her enjoyment as you both tousle around on the ground. If she laughs too hard with the engine, it might still flare, but hey, just adds to the fun, right, soldier? …either way, maybe keep it under control. Will want to cuddle afterwards, especially if you both end up on the ground. She’ll definitely sneak some little tickles in there as well as you lay there afterwards. When you look at her with playful accusation, she’ll swear that was the last time with a too-wide grin on her face that tells you she’s lying.

Shadowheart would be caught off-guard the first time it happens, snorting with laughter and shoving the offending hands away. She’d act annoyed, but be secretly impressed that you even had the nerve. At times that she’d sassing you, little pokes at her sides have her lips twitching up into a smile. Especially at camp, since her camp clothes expose her sides. Will cackle almost wickedly if you really manage to get her good. She gets a little more snarky when she’s in a more playful mood just to egg you on. Snide little comments followed by small snickers when you have the expected retaliation. When she’s had a few glasses of wine, her laughter gets more open, and she may even loosen up enough to get you back, blending in with the shadows to bide her time before springing at you, catching you off-guard and getting her revenge, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. Hmph, not so cocky now, are you?

Wyll will absolutely take the excuse for some light-hearted fun. He’s definitely ticklish, and a bit embarrassed about it. After all, a princely-like heroic man devolving into childish giggles isn’t exactly charming in his books. However, joint laughter shared between you two is a blessing he won’t pass up. You may notice a slight huff of laughter that first night you dance together, your hands against his sides making his lips twitch in a smile. If you don’t use it against him then, the opportunity arises later. Little slow-dances at night as you graze your fingers over his sides or his lower back, getting soft huffs of laughter out of him as he shakes his head in amusement at your antics. He doesn’t usually retaliate in those softer moments, but if you come at him with a playful attack, he’s quick to shoot back with a mischievous grin on his face. Provoke the blade at your own risk.

[sariahsue]

Let Me Count the Ways

Chapter Nineteen - Epilogue

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [Ch 10] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [Ch 17] [Ch 18]

“So who was he? The boy you loved so much.”

It was evening at the Eiffel Tower, and Chat Noir sat and leaned against a beam. The weather was clear, the sunset was golden, and Ladybug was curled up in his lap, lazing against his chest as he traced his claws across her stomach. 

They’d gone on several dates in the last few weeks, and he thought it might be safe enough to finally satisfy his curiosity.

She didn’t answer immediately, just hummed absently while she considered. “I finally got over him enough to see what was right in front of me this whole time.” 

Chat Noir felt his face flush. It might have embarrassed him a few weeks ago to display how easily she made him swoon, but he didn’t bother to hide it now.

“It would compromise my identity,” she said, “but I don’t really care anymore.”

He nodded, and his hold on her tightened. That was so much more than he had ever expected and wished for.

Ladybug launched into an explanation. “Okay, so do you remember that first year we fought together? How Chloe’s class got akumatized a lot?”

“Almost everyone in the class got it at least once.”

“Right. I was in that class. And so was the boy I was crushing on.”

Chat was intensely interested, leaning forward and shifting her in his lap. 

“I’m explaining this to you,” she continued, “so you don’t make fun of me.” 

“Why would I?”

“Because.” She let go of him to hug herself. “I’m not like all the other thousands of girls who had a crush on Adrien Agreste. I personally knew him. We were close friends back then.”

His breath caught at his own name, and it took several seconds for it to return to a normal pace. He wasn’t sure his heart would ever calm down. Not only did she love him now, but she had loved him the entire time.

That also narrowed down the list of people she could be. It had been several years, but he still remembered the roster. Chloe, Lila, Alya, Rose… all those girls he knew couldn’t have been Ladybug. They’d been heroes and villains he and Ladybug had fought either with or against. Their looks were didn’t match, their personalities were too different, and he ruled them all out one by one, until–

“I hate to give you bad news,” he said after several seconds of recovery, “but I know who you are.” 

She shrugged, leaning against him again. “I figured you would. You got to know my class well after a year of fighting them.”

“More bad news.” He swallowed around the heart beating in his throat. “You didn’t get over Adrien.”

“I did!” she said, jerking backward. “I love you! More than anything.” Her eyes were wide and insistent, begging him to believe. “I love you with my whole heart. You’re the only person for me. I love only you, I mean it. Why– Why are you smiling?”

“Because you’re lying.” 

Her face flooded red, like she’d just cast her Miraculous Cure. And just like the real Cure, Chat Noir was left with the feeling that everything was right where it should be, and safe, and whole. When he cupped her face, she grabbed his wrists to steady herself.

“You love Adrien,” he said, a smile coloring his words. “More than anything.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off with a kiss to the cheek. When he pulled away, her face was scrunched in confusion.

“You love Adrien with your whole heart.” A kiss on the opposite cheek. 

Her expression was unwinding, growing loose with what he hoped was comprehension. He waited, holding her. This time, he was the one silently begging the other to believe.

“Adrien is the only person for you.” He kissed her on the nose. 

Ladybug - Marinette - didn’t let him get far, holding onto his neck to keep him in place. Are you serious? her expression asked him. You’re not making fun of me right now?

He let his wide smile answer, and one more repeated line. “You love only Adrien, I mean it.”

Chat Noir leaned in one more time, kissing her smiling lips. When he pulled away, he found himself wrapped tightly around her and encircled in her arms. Just where he’d always wanted to be. 

“That’s what I said,” she replied. “I love you, Adrien.” 

THE END

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Tag list: @clawsout83 @trippingovermyfeet @tbehartoo @yoonjae20 @random-cartoon-fangirl

Author’s note: Thank you for reading! I loved working on this story. When I started, I literally asked myself the question, “How obvious can I make it before he catches on?” and it was so fun to write him being super dumb about everything! 

Special thanks to my betas, @jennagrinsoverml, @h-sunnywet-d, and @ladyofthenoodle. You made the story stronger, and I’m grateful!

(Self promo warning) Click here to see my other stories. (Lots of one-shots and a handful of longer stories.) Be on the lookout for my Square Dance fic in Nov. and my Big Bang in Jan. I’ve also got a ton of drabbles that I have ideas for, plus a few one-shots and longer fics that I’m excited to work on!

[ariaste]

Are you, perchance, a 2013 BBC's Sherlock veteran

No particular reason I'm asking

I watched it and I think I probably reblogged a few things back in the day because I had mutuals who were into it. But I don't recall ever really feeling like I was in the fandom myself.

I'd guess that you're asking because you've recently read my Good Omens essay and your next question is about whether I was a supporter of The Johnlock Conspiracy, and the answer is a hard nah. At least to me personally, all the textual and meta-textual evidence made it abundantly clear, even a decade ago, that the show was not only inhospitable to queer fans, but actively and deliberately hostile towards them (one recalls that utterly mean-spirited depiction of what Steven Moffat thinks a "fangirl" looks and sounds like, as well as more than one occasion when he and others involved with the show mocked fans/fandom/fanfiction in interviews, on camera, with their actual human mouths). I do vaguely remember coming across people on tumblr in those days who were convinced that there was something else going on, that somehow Moffat was going to suddenly change his tune and start loving them back the way that they loved his show, that they would be rewarded for their faith by having their ship made canon, but that seemed extraordinarily unrealistic to me and not based on any concrete facts.

Now, don't get me wrong -- wishful thinking can be really fun, and you're not hurting anyone by hoping for the best and daydreaming about a happy ending. That's just basic human nature. But when someone shows you what kind of person they truly are, pay attention. Balance dreaming with prudence, and don't put all your eggs in one basket--or, rather, don't pin all your hopes on one stranger's artistic decisions.

Part of me wants to say that Steven Moffat is one of several significant contributors responsible for the deep-rooted media trauma that still afflicts thousands of fans today (consider how so many people watching the first season of Our Flag Means Death as it aired were utterly convinced that it was going to queerbait them and exploit their sincere, heartfelt desire for a queer love story on screen, the same way that nearly every other show had done already. So many people met that glimmer of hope with cynicism and pessimism, because when you've been not just disappointed but outright punished for wanting something, the natural trauma-response is to assume that you're not going to get it until you're proven wrong, because that's the only way you can protect your bruised, exhausted heart.

It is true that Moffat's cruelty to the fans of his show contributed to our collective media trauma. However, it is not the only thing that has done so: Particularly in America, we are in the midst of a literacy crisis. Schools have been failing us for more than two decades: They have increasingly failed to teach nuanced reading comprehension and to adequately equip young people with robust and agile critical thinking skills, and this means that an entire generation has been robbed of the tools that would help them to protect themselves from the psychic damage of media trauma before it happens. Moreover, it means that many people now insist on looking to canon to "legitimize" their ships, as if their own interest and enthusiasm was not sufficient. Instead of feeling empowered to reimagine the stories handed to us in order to suit our personal needs, we give away our power into the hands of strangers who do not feel any ethical responsibility to care for their audience as if the audience is a guest in their home. And thus, we get hurt. Media trauma is real, and it sucks.

To return to your original question, no, I don't consider myself a veteran of BBC Sherlock, because I wandered through town, saw that it wasn't worth the fight, and left before the war started.

Remember: In literary criticism and in science, you don't do good work by cherry-picking evidence that supports your pet theory; you do good work by assembling all the data and asking what theory would unify them into a cohesive whole. And if you're really good, you make the effort to be skeptical and look for evidence that might disprove your theory, and you invite others to check your math, because at the end of the day, you are a beautiful, imperfect human and sometimes you make mistakes.