#i just feel awkward rambling about these things when people didn't ask haha

[66sharkteeth]

Hello! Idk if you are still faking asks but of so thank you in advance if this gets answered!

I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit disturbing how the majority is cheering on Rex and the side he's taken. Though that side might have some points, I just can not see them as people I'd like to ever support or think they are doing it with good intentions in mind. But anyway, I apologize if I just can't understand or root for this gang. I know things aren't black or white but i just see more bad than good. And I hope that's ok.

The only think I dint understand and kind of made me not like Rex so much anymore is that when he is fighting Desmond he mentions something along the lines of "you already met my scyon" and that just raised more questions for me. One of the mane reasons Rex felt hurt and betrayed and thought it was all Desmon and Lys's fault for "betraying him" was because he couldn't under why they would turn on him (it was when he still didn't know about the other part of himself). But now he knows, he knows its the Scyon that hurt and attacked them. Hence why they had such a reaction. I've seen people stating that yes, Rex was betrayed! And I just...I don't see it at all especially when the og gang had every right to react the way they did.

This monnet kind of just made me distance myself from Rex I guess. Because he knew the scyon was the one to hurt the gang, the reason why they reacted the way they did and yet that does nothing for him. I don't think this is bad writing, nit even the slightest. Cause I know some people in real life would have such a reaction. We are flawed beings and some weren't thought or leaned how act to know their actions or way of thinking is flawed etc or self centered. It's a process everyone can go threw in different ways. So I hope maybe Rex one day can learn more as he goes.

But yeah, was there something behind the scenes we didn't see for Rex to not even question that the Scyon hurt Desmond or for him to not even care about that fact?

I still love the comic a lot and its one of 2 other webtoons I follow religiously and have given money for passes! The art and world building I feel like is really good and has made me so inspired to make a fan art and fic for this world (I'm just too afraid and shy to share I guess but I'd love to one day!).

I hope you have a good day and I apologize for any speaking or grammar mistakes I've made. English isn't my first language and I'm also dyslexic 😅

Tbh, I think the only people who are 100% wrong are the ones who think one side is 100% right.

Like you said, the situation isn't black and white (heck, it's even one of the major themes of the story), and both sides have points and flaws, some bigger than others. I know people are having fun cheering for Rex's "corruption arc" (I even love to tease about it), but that's exactly what it is- a corruption arc.

Rex has points and fair criticism, but it's important to also remember the environment he's in. He's Blan Corp's prized pig that they need to keep happy until they get that memory. Other than Bag Girl, Rex is basically surrounded in an echo chamber of yes-men. So no, you didn't really miss anything. Rex is just currently in an environment where everyone is telling him "Yeah! It WAS abusive of Desmond to make you do all those chores!! What a jerk! >:(" and Rex going "yeah, you're right!! I am the victim here! Tell me more."

He's with the villains now and there is a lot of manipulation* going on.(*Side note: Mostly from Jericho and his Scion, to be clear. You could argue Nia as well, but I kind of maintain that she is just as manipulated and in a kind of equally tough position. Remember, Blan Corp is the ticket to getting her mom back and she's kind of in just as big of an echo chamber of "human bad, blank superior" as Rex)

That said, please don't give up hope on him haha. Rex can get a really sharp tongue when he's pissed (as seen in the latest episode with his encounter with Lyss), but he's still the same Rex at heart. He could never take the steps that Jericho is willing to take, and I... Tried to make that clear in ep 133 with Desmond's criticism of Rex's changes. Desmond asked if he really has it in his (half-human) heart to follow in Jericho's foot steps, and I like to think (most of us) know he doesn't- At least not as far as Jericho. Desmond planted the seed of doubt in ep 133 and I don't intend to just...ignore that seed in my writing of what's coming up.

TLDR: Yeah! Rex is being a jerk right now after a lot of manipulation, gaslighting, and just all around anxiety. But that's what a corruption arc is. Only time will tell if he starts to realize what a jerk he's being, but I certainly didn't show him hesitating after what Desmond said because it went in one ear and out the other. That's definitely going to be living rent free in the back of his mind for now.

[crabonfire]

Scout falling for reader

characters: scout

tags: fluff

note: writing this on a whim and ignoring all the other drafts I really wanted to write! also hi :)

I was writing an enemies to lovers but um....maybe later

I have a love for scout okay :( I'm sorryyyyyyyyy ill do full characters right after this one (I'm in a writing mood for once in years)

and of course reblogs and comments very much appreciated <3

♡Scout♡

• You were really the only true friend he had in the base. He considered all the other mercs his friend too but, he knew they'd never really share that friendship. He felt appreciated, and had someone to talk to who would really listen to him, not finding him stupid like the others do.

• He didn't realize he fell for you. The last time he fell for someone he acted shy, aloof, awkward and honestly embarrassed himself a little. He never knew what to say. So it took him a while to figure out he liked you, because whenever you two spoke, words always came so easily to him.

• The day he truly does realize his feelings though, is a day like any other. Your team, victorious, going out for drinks at the local bar. Scout could never handle himself well to alcohol, and you didn't really seem to be a drinker either. You two were sitting outside for the most part, laughing and making fun of the other team, as well as you listened to him ramble on his accomplishments of the day.

• Though, something lingered on his mind. A question he really thought about for a while. He knew you wouldn't judge, so he asked you your opinion.

"How long do you think we're gonna have to do this for?"

• You turned to him, confused. He continues.

"Fighting. Like- how long do you think it'll take before it's over? I'm not sayin' I don't enjoy kicking the other teams ass or the money we get, but well- I don't know."

Anytime he asked this question, Spy, Demo, everyone in the team really, all just said "not to think about it and to do it until it's done." He was never satisfied with that answer.

He saw how you contemplated it for a moment, seeing a small smile curl onto your lips when you looked back at him to reply.

"I don't know. It's probably for a bit longer, I mean- it's been 2 years. Pretty sure there were mercs before us who fought for this stupid war.*

You paused, "Why? You wanna quit or something?"

He shook his head. "Quit being able to kill people for a bunch of money? No way! I just- I think of doing other stuff. We barely have any free time and I don't wanna do this stuff till I'm old or something. And I know old- just look at Spy. He's probably from the ice age or somethin'."

• You snorted, chuckling a little at his comment. He smiled, he always liked to see you laughing at his jokes, made him feel funnier than he really was. You mirrored his smile, turning to look at the road. The night was a bluish gray, a striking contrast to the liveliness and warmth the bar brought.

"I get it."

It went quiet, he wondered if that was it.

"I don't wanna grow old and retire from this job either. But I don't think it'll be so bad."

"Really? Why?" He asked.

• He saw the way you turned to look at him, that same smile he knew all too well, one side of your face shone so brightly under the bars lighting while the other side was slightly masked with moonlight. Your reply was so simple, but it made his heart race.

"You'll be there. And I guess having you around makes things less worse."

• He stared bashfully at you upon hearing those very words. His palms got sweatier than they usually did as he felt his chest tighten. You must've noticed, because you let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Haha- that was corny as hell. Anyway, I'm gonna go get another pack of soda for us."

• You stood up and walked back to the bar, but he couldn't look away from where you sat before. His face felt warm, damn.

He didn't know what it was. Maybe it should've hit him sooner, the fact he had feelings for you. The fact that- whenever you pull him in for a hug, his heart beats a little bit faster. When you laugh with him he laughs just a little harder because your laugh is his favorite. That your playful fighting with each other, it really does mean a lot to him.

All he knew was from that day on, it became difficult to think of you without realizing everything it was he loved about you.

♡♡♡

I don't know how to write endings anyway scout fans here's your food I know it's been a while it's okay mama is here 🫂

and yesssss sigh don't worry there are other fics I'm writing 😪 just...wanted to do scout first as a practice :)

hope you enjoyed! reblogs and comments always appreciated, I'd love to know your own opinions of scout and such!!! #scoutlover

[hairstevington]

"Ace!Steve 5 + 1" for WIP Wednesday (now on a Thursday)

Haha okay here we go, now on a Friday! This one is BRAND NEW and still in the idea stage, but it's going to be something along the lines of - 5 times Steve hooked up with someone and one time when he didn't - but despite the subject matter being about sex, I don't plan on it being explicit at all.

Instead of a traditional snippet I'm just gonna ramble about what I plan on doing lol.

It will start with his very awkward first time with a random fellow student, then his second time (probably with Carol or something), then his third time will be set during his King Steve era, fourth time will be with Nancy and that whole situation (angst galore, yeesh), fifth time will be when he's trying to date post-Nancy breakup, and the + 1 will be meeting Robin and having a super intimate relationship without sex in it.

I wanna write the whole thing very comp-het coded, and how he basically gets around because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do, when really he's more interested in the emotional stuff, but that feels "gay," and then Robin comes out to him and he's like, "oh well if SHE'S not straight I can be whatever I am too."

Yeah. Idk. As someone on the ace spectrum I really wanted to write an ace character and I LOVE Stobin (as my followers know). I don't know when I'll get to this fic but hopefully I do one day if people are interested!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for the ask my dear <3

[kimbap-r0ll]

…can we get hc’s Elle Woods -like Mc? INCREDIBLY pretty, loves pink, fashion, beauty, is incredibly smart, and very bubbly. (Hugs them when she gets her test score back) With like, Malleus, Jamil, Trey and Leona?

Hi, thank you for the ask! I feel bad that I didn't immediately recognize the name but when I looked her up I was like "No, kimbap, you know this!" So yes that is that. Though the character is female, mc here is gender neutral!

Malleus, Jamil, Trey, Leona with an Elle Woods!mc

Malleus

He might be a bit surprised with your style of clothing, but nonetheless finds it intriguing. It's a change of pace from the dark aesthetic he's used to

He likes how you can go on and on about your favorite topics, the more he can hear from you, the better! He just likes to learn about you in general

He doesn't mind pda, but he might be a bit awkward with it because it's not something he's used to haha

It's like an opposites attract situation for the two of you, and honestly it looks super cute to people around you.

Jamil

Damn, two smarties together ok 💀

Jokes aside, he does find himself learning new things from you. He might have a hard time catching up with your bubbly attitude, but he likes it when you teach him, well, anything. In return, he may teach you different kinds of topics as well ranging from simple cooking to full on advanced spells

He doesn't mind the fixation on pink fashion, but he refuses to try and copy your aesthetic. "It doesn't fit" is his response, but Kalim might pressure him to try haha

Overall, I can see him respecting you and liking how you brighten up his day, but he might be exhausted from you and Kalim bouncing off the walls ever so often haha

Trey

He's really chill with you, and honestly you find your bubbly self sort of depleting into a calm when you are with him

The two of you probably set up study sessions together, and that's kind of how your dates started out. He eventually got around to bringing sweets during these sessions and now you guys just munch on some cookies while talking

He doesn't mind the hugs, honestly he might hug you first when you come out of your class with a test in your hands. He's the type to try and fluster you instead haha

Similar to Malleus, he likes your vibes even if you two can seem a bit like opposites.

Leona

Out of all of these characters, he has the most trouble fitting with you and your bold fashion choices along with your bubbly attitude

At first he might look like he hates it, he hates talking to you. But when his eyes are closed as you are rambling on and on about a history topic you learned in class, he's listening to every detail. He loves hearing things from you, and it's just adorable to him to see you get so deep into different ideas and topics

He won't try on anything you ask him to haha, but he might give you some expensive pink items here and there. Just as simple gifts, but everyone else is like "where are you getting all these hella expensive stuff 😭😭"

He will act tsundere, pretending he doesn't like you hugging him or being bubbly around him, but in truth he likes the attention. If one day you forget to hug him, he might tease you and ask "Don't I deserve one?" or something like that 😭

[ciaossu-imagines]

Trust me you’re not alone in imagining fictional characters as a coping mechanism. It’s something that’s helped me cope since I was a young child, and especially now as it’s been a rough year. I’m happy to hear others also find comfort in this too! For me personally I have fictional others in both romantic and platonic relationships. I found having a found family in fictional characters is really helpful especially growing up when your own family situation is rough.

My fictional other is Reborn from KHR (which might expose who I am a bit 🤭 but I am shy and socially awkward so on anon I shall stay!). I find the wacky and absurd nature of KHR makes coming up with different scenarios and headcanons a lot of fun. For me my favourite sort of scenarios to imagine with my fictional other are different AUs and how my ships come together and behave in those situations. The most recent one I’ve been thinking of is a Cinderella-esque aristocracy story! This not only helps me detach from my actual life a little better but also helps get my creative juices flowing. So double win for me!

Anyway, sorry for rambling, just know you're not alone with that coping method, and it has also helped me so much in my life! I hope it can continue to aid you, as I know healing is never easy and it takes time, but stay strong and know that many of us are cheering for you!

Aww, thank you so much. For both sharing this and for being so incredibly sweet. Sometimes it really does help just to know I'm not alone in this, in using this coping mechanism or for getting so attached to fictional characters and knowing that it helps others and is a healthy-ish thing to do. So your message definitely made me smile and feel better. I mean, I've always kind of coped in this way and have comfort characters and fictional others from childhood but I just always felt like I was supposed to have outgrown doing so and so do sometimes feel guilty about still coping this way. Though now, between instant messages on here and ask box messages, I'm realizing it's a very normal thing and that a lot of people find comfort in it! And it's so cool to learn that, like me, you have fictional others in both romantic and platonic sense too because I've mostly just heard of other people having romantic fictional others only.

And even if it exposes who you are to me a bit (I have a good guess), don't you worry! I get how hard it is to come off anon because I'm generally a shy person myself and I would never expose an anon, even when I know who they are. If that's your comfort zone, I fully accept and embrace it and just am glad you took the time to send in a message. And I love your fictional other - KHR is absurd in a lot of ways and Reborn himself is just such a complex, interesting, colourful character and I can only imagine how many fun situations he could get himself into haha. I think your most recent AU is such an amazingly cool AU too! If you ever wanted to share some of your headcanons or thoughts on it with me, either in the ask box or via instant message, I would honestly be so interested in hearing about it! Please don't apologize either - you didn't ramble and I enjoyed every word! And thank you so much again for the sweet, fun message and the support :)

[patchesproblem]

do you have any spare hcs abt karl or joyce 😭 im starved

YES I DO ACTUALLY!!! I think about those two sm like you don't even understand. I really need to talk about them more, tbh.

I have A Lot to say, so sorry in advance for my nonsensical ramblings.

Actual answer under the cut

OKAY SO!! Starting with our favorite pathetic bean sprout.

I'll separate the au hc's and actual main universe hcs just to keep everything semi understandable. It'll have HC's for relationships with Karl, Planck, Einslas, etc. Also including Elysia and Joffrey because siblings can't be separated <3

AU headcanons:

Joyce is smarter than he gives himself credit for. I'm being serious when I say this. It doesn't express itself as obviously as the Einslas, but that's only because his strengths are in other areas. While the Einslas are extremely smart when it comes to STEM, I feel as if Joyce's strong suit is more in creativity. It's hard to exaplain, but think writing / reading and all that. He enjoys learning new information about things he likes (examples include astrology, writing, etc.) and he will often be able to remember details that others normally wouldn't.

He probably spent a lot of his childhood reading stories, and was probably ahead of his grades reading level. He didn't really have many friends because he has social issues, despite the fact a lot of people did actually like him. He just knew a lot of people, but he wasn't really able to form any close friendships until his insane scientist bestie came along. Though that was partially because he just was awkward and didn't know how to talk to others. Was worried he'd come off as weird or get bullied for his interests.

Tesla probably comes to him sometimes to ask for help with her own writing, actually. Although he doesn't write much himself, he's somehow one of the best people to ask for advice LMAO. They probably bonded over their shared passions, even if they are technically different. (Different in the sense of she's into writing, and he's into reading. They go together hand in hand. Idk I just feel like it's a cute little thing. Besties and siblings <33) He also probably proof reads her stuff occasionally when Einsteins too busy to, though he might've had a few objects thrown at him at some points. He also gives her advice / ideas.

Has a fear of people leaving him bc his parents just kinda. Disappeared leaving him with Karl and Emma as his care takers, and Elyisa eventually left soon after because she got married to Eden and all that. Then when Einstein left with Planck it just kinda destroyed him. He's not upset with them, he's actually really happy for them. Though it gets lonely and he's afraid that he'll get replaced (haha Joachim haha. Sorry.)

Probably really close with Joffrey tbh. Does anything in his power to make sure his little brother has a good childhood. He reads to him A Lot, and actively engages in his ideas. For example: if he has an idea to make something Joyce will help him make it. He also encourages him to pursue his own interests even if it's a one off thing. He'll often draw / write with him too. He's very proud of him

Karl is basically his dad at this point. He doesn't treat him as his nephew, but instead he treats him as if he was his own son in a sense. He's extremely proud of him and that someday he'll make a positive impact on the world. Joyce looks up to him heavily, and wants to follow in his foot steps once he gets older.

When Ein originally came he was terrified of her LMAO. She was an absolute menace as a child and lived up to Karl calling her a brat. He was relentlessly teased and messed with by this tiny goblin who could turn on the water works at any second if she felt like it. She still actually is the reason he's called Welt. Though it's because he's the clumsiest mf in the world, so dual meaning there.

She's actually one of his first actual friends, and partially responsible for his love of space. How they became friends is blurry just because it's more of a "she won't be leaving I need to learn to survive" but despite being eccentric, he eventually came to see her as his bestie / sister. Though he's still absolutely terrified of her. He still has zero clue what goes on in her head and that's terrifying to him.

He's absolutely terrified of Tesla too. Both his besties scare him half to death and he's convinced one of these days they're going to be the reason he gets killed, but that won't happen surely. They're at each others throats constantly, and would probably be those two people threatening to kill the other in a waffle house at two in the morning. They want to throw each other through a wall, but also trust each other with their lives. The only man Tesla remotely tolerates along with Karl. They have sibling energy and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.

Him and Elysia also probably used to be really close. She cares about him deeply, and would drop anything at a moments notice to help him if he needed it. Though she also does tease him often, as a big sister should. Eden acts as a parental figure towards him as well. They both met when he was young, and he grew up with her around a lot so he just started looking up to her tbh.

He originally goes to Lab 42 to become Einslas assistant while he went to university there, and would help them with stuff similar to how he helped out in canon. Though Tesla basically said "Fuck you, we're your superiors now so you'll refer to us as Dr. Tesla and Dr. Einstein now!" and that's how he started calling Einstein Ein lmao. Tes wasn't amused.

They also drag his ass to Alaska. He never wanted to go on work related trips with them after that.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's terrified. Her constant midlife crisis scares him.

Okay so for non AU headcannons:

Tes and Ein 100% got together in private and planned how to torment him. Just Trust Me on this. They were feeling a little bit silly and goofy and just coordinated together on how to torment him next.

Him and Tes' relationship is a little bit different in the main universe, for obvious reasons. Though they stay besties and have sibling energy. Neither of them trusted each other at first. Tes didn't trust Joyce because 1. He's a man 2. He's a man 3. He's a man and 4. She was scared he'd hurt Ein (was also just jealous and scared she'd pay less attention to her but yanno), and Joyce didn't trust Tesla because she's an angry redhead who would probably kill a man if given the chance. Didn't help that she threatened his life and threatened to castrate him within the first minute of meeting him, but yanno it be like that sometimes.

Over time Tes begrudgingly accepted that he wasn't going anywhere for awhile and that she should probably get used to it. While Eins was out they probably were forced to bond, and eventually Tesla realized that maybe he wasn't as bad as she originally thought and slowly began to trust him. Honestly they were best friends by the time he just decided to die like a pathetic person on them. He'd stay up to make sure she got home okay and alive, and he eventually just became her rambling buddy. AKA Einstein was asleep and she just went on long nonsensical ramblings to Joyce while he just went "uh huh.. interesting.. they did what now?"

Probably admitted some embarrassing things to him in all honesty. Though he'd never be able to tell anyone that considering she herself didn't even remember telling him half the stuff she did, and even if she did she'd actually kill him if he said anything about it. Not like he really wanted to, anyways. Was just happy she was willing to talk to him and didn't completely hate him tbh. Was also happy that he could be there for her considering his whole depression thing and knowing how horrible it was to not have someone there for you.

Though she also always cared and worried about him. Her and Ein had read his 'profile' beforehand, and Tesla immediately was scared and concerned when she realized he quite literally was diagnosed with severe depression. Though she'd never admit that and would prefer to pretend she just found him annoying and pathetic LMAO. At least before his death, after his death is a different story. (AKA she finally admitted years later she cared about him to Einstein and still missed having his dumbass around and constantly had to be held back from nuking Otto off the face of the earth.)

Another note I forgot to add that I'm adding after the fact: He was actually amazed by Tesla's knowledge. Like he knew she was smart, but the extent of it surprised him tbh. Especially after hearing how she didn't even have her degree.

With Ein it's pretty much the same, though she's legitimately just an absolute menace to everyone around her. She intentionally dialed it to ten just to make sure that he was terrified of her and never knew what she was going to do next. She did it just for the funsies tbh. Things were going slow in the lab and as much fun as it is to tease Tesla, it was funny to be able to just bully some random man who had no clue what was happening at any given second. Plus added bonus points for being able to still tease Tesla but making it 100% worse because someone else is around and Tes just gets embarrassed and loses it.

VN is basically two lesbians harass and bully some poor traumatized man for an entire month.

That aside, I feel like him and Joachim got along really well. I like to believe that he took him out sometimes to watch him while Einslas were working, and that Joachim constantly asked the Finn to go see the three. While the Einslas taught him to gaslight gatekeep and girlboss, Joyce taught him actual life lessons and tried to negate the 'damage' the Einslas had done. AKA try to make him stop being even worse than them.

He cared A Lot about Joachim, and probably saw him as his little brother honestly. I feel like they spent a lot of time together, even if it often resulted in Joyce being bullied constantly by three people instead of just two. The explosions also didn't amuse him because he's lame and a coward.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's Terrified.

After his death he intentionally hid from Tesla Einstein and Joachim. He didn't want them to find him, and try to bring him back. He felt like he'd disappointed them all and he felt guilty over what happened, and he was scared they hated him and despised him over what happened. He only shows up for Bronya because he knew that she'd be his successor, and even at that he refused to talk because he didn't want to disappoint her too. Didn't want her getting too attached to him, mainly because he's too scared to hurt yet another person.

Had to end it off depressingly, sorry </3 I'm sure you understand.

Was going to do non AU and AU versions for Karl too but like... He wasn't alive near long enough to even have hcs for the main universe. I've just hit him with the dad beam honestly.

Anyways AU Karl hcs <33

He's a dad. Literally just a dad. Will adopt any insane scientist within a 1000 mile radius.

He met Ein similarly to how he does in canon, and managed to convince her parents to let him and Planck allow her to continue her studies at a college level. Ever since then he's basically become her dad, and that's how she views him. Has accidentally called him dad before.

For a majority of the time he was one of Eins main mentors, though as time went on and he became more busy, Planck began to become her teacher.

He's awkward, and is kinda oblivious. Very Oblivious. He tends to not over think peoples words, and doesn't even think that there's a second meaning in most circumstances.

For the most part he's extremely dedicated to his work, and has issues with accidentally over working himself. All he wants to do is help others, even if it causes himself issues. He's often extremely busy and running about.

Though he also is extremely dedicated to his family and cares about them more than anything. If ANY of them needed anything, including Tesla, he'd drop whatever he was doing to make sure that his family is okay. He loves them all.

I'll have to add more later, but a lot of my thoughts have simply disappeared. I'll dm you on discord when I put more for Karl LMAO.

[bsaka7]

i did finish the fic!!!! gave me the like “omg what do i even do with these feelings now” hahaha it really is such a masterpiece!

the character foils were everything!!! obviously pierre and esteban at the core but even the relationship of pierre and charles compared to his with esteban, pierres career compared to estebans, pierres family etc etc it all interacts to create such a wonderful picture of who they are and how they have… become who they are??? like even from the beginning, when theyre karting together and estebans first feelings are “i want to win and i want to be in the kart but hes going first :(“ and that… changes but never really goes away because its important to him and the little moments that show their diff upbringing too like… pierre asking for like. snacks for instance, and not having that fear of being rude and having something taken away from him that esteban has, like his interactions with pierres family made me want to scream because like. the cautiousness and politeness like so so so real

estebans ENTIRE relationship with crying. AGGHHHH!!!!!

and pierre not understanding why he cant separate on and off track but like. estebans put his whole self into it in a different way to what pierre has, and just exactly what its like to be kind of. insular and awkward as a kid because that DOES follow you, his difficulties fitting in with his peer group etc etc

the playing COD together made me 😭😭😭 😭 ESPECIALLY when pierre was like dude was that ur mum??? and its like. in my head ratatouille flashback pierre and estebans parents. AND ESTEBAN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT AND HES LIKE… im inside now :) UGHRJFJ SOBBING

omfg and all the unsent texts when pierre got demoted… esteban im literally reaching thru the screen to make u press send sorry anyway. beautiful beautiful beautiful fic thank u so much!!!! mwah!!! <3

Thank u!! This is long so under the cut haha

ahhh that's amazing to hear 😭😭 I love when writing makes me feel like that so it's an honor to be able to do it for u!!! I'm really glad I was able to flesh out that world in a way that felt real!!! I was sort of debating whether to tag this fic as a bildungsroman or not (obv I didn't) because I didn't know if there was enough character change/on loss/psychological focus... like they grow up but i wanted to keep that raw competitive core and also keep the elements of - Pierre's parents saying they tried to protect his childhood, but he moved away so young. Esteban saying he grew up quick. Etc. like you said - 'insular and awkward'. the stuff about crying (este talking about crying after getting scratched from Australia 2019 testing with merc. It destroys me). It sneaks up on u. You never escape that!!! And if you do, you have to work for it!!!!

the triangulation of Charles/pierre/esteban is like. Everything to me. I need a proper messy love triangle. i need Charles pov on the whole thing. the way Charles is. he's in a different league than them and he knows it but he wants to be loved anyway...

i think also capturing how people interact with each other online is - hard. i literally just sketched out a Cinderella story au with @nicotineteeth lmao and i keep thinking about it like. about the idiot by batuman. how can you know someone so well online and not know how it will flesh out when you meet each other. can you talk past each other without realizing it. obv here - and in most of my fic - i try to stay in the present but even with relationships like that. i feel like saying things you mean in text is. almost even worse. that was the only scene in this whole fic where both pierre and esteban weren't there and i was honestly debating it but like that's a connection too. ok sorry to ramble about something so tangential haha.

I really appreciate ur message haha. Screenshotted and saved!! I'm very glad you enjoyed my little fic and I really enjoyed hearing ur comments!!! ❤️❤️

[flowering-thought]

Ah yes, procrastination! Hehe, I also deal 🤝

Anyways, I shall now detail my painfully awkward stories to you lol:

(I don't really know how to put these in order, so it might come out as a jumbled mess (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧)

1.) So, this one comes to mind first as it is unfortunately burned in my brain *cries* So! I used to have a HUGE crush on this guy that I worked with (I was wondering at a subway at the time) and because I had a crush on him, I happened to be shy and somehow kinda clumsy around him. And because of that shyness, I would find it hard to talk to him without stuttering or blushing. Normally, it wouldn't be so bad but he just so happened to also be shy and socially awkward like me. (Usually I always shy and quiet at first, until someone talks me out of my shell. Then I'll gradually open up and become more "extroverted" around them) Anyways, as you could imagine, there was a lot of terrible awkward silences. AND, bc we worked together, I had to deal with it. There was this time specifically where we got a large online order, and it was just the two of us, so I come up there to help him. Because the store we worked at was so small and cramped, we didn't have much room so we had to work side by side. Bc of that, to me, it felt like we were uncomfortablely close, and I kept accidentally bumping into him. Compare that with awkward silence, and I just wanted to disappear all together. He got a better job somewhere else not long after, but I always wondered if he thought I was some weird quiet kid or if he felt the same way I did. Idk

2.) Oh! So a few years ago (around 4) I went down to the lake that was kinda local to where I lived during summer every day for like a week straight. I happened to meet a boy who was two years younger than me (I'm only 21 now so I was a lil bebe then hehe(17)) He came up to talk to me, and was really polite and chatty too so I actually felt really comfortable hanging with him while there. He coincidentally happened to be there almost every day I was there. So it didn't take long for me to open up. Anyways, summer ended (obvi) and I continued about my life as it was. Time Skip! Up until fairly recently, I had completely forgotten about meeting him at all. Haha yes, so I was going grocery shopping when I met him again since he worked there. Only, I had NO IDEA who he was. (I found out he was also a local lol) Anyways, I walked in and he was kinda staring at me. And I felt super uncomfortable bc I felt like I was supposed to know him or something. So I kinda glanced over and ignored him until I had to check out. I didn't recognize him because he apparently hit a major growth spurt. Well I got to check out and he was like "do you really not remember me?" and I awkwardly shook my head no. To which he replied "we met at the lake a few years ago remember?" I felt so bad for not remembering lol. But luckily he was super nice, and all ended well.

3.) (This one isn't a story, but just a compilation of my ✨anxious habits✨)

*I can't tell people no, instead I talk circles around a "maybe" or a "next time"

*I genuinely worry if I make people feel uncomfortable bc I'm always a little awkward

*I can't stand awkward silences, so that leads me to ramble

*Crowded places are draining

*I'm always fidgeting with something when I'm nervous like my hair or necklace

*During the rare times I do actually have guests I'll anxiously spoil them with treats like food, drinks, etc.

*(insert general introvert things here)

That's all I can think of rn anyway. I hope it helps 💖

~🥀

Omg sorry I've been kinda hoarding this ask cause I relate wayyyy too much ʕ•ω•ʔ

🥀 I completely feel you with those anxious habits too 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯. If I feel like I somehow made someone uncomfortable I automatically go to apologize out of habit.. And a really bad habit of picking at my nails to the point it actually kinda hurts- but I've been trying to stop cause it kinda sucks after a while when your finger tips hurt yk?

But yeah social anxiety and just anxiety in general can lead to a lot of awkward conversations or interactions 😔 Sometimes I've been so completely oblivious to people attempting to interact that it leads to awkward silence lol- doesn't help I have a chronic RBF that makes people think I hate them ;-;

[sohmiya]

Hello lovely! Tokyo rev anon here!Hope your day is going well and that u r taking breaks. I was wondering what some of ur favourite tropes are. I'm personally a suckered for anything either friends to lovers, the pining and will they won't they feeling just gets me every time, itd too good to pass up. I also love anything with gangs and time travel as well as . Your oc headcanons were so much fun to read. Hopefully we will be able to hear more about them in the future! I'm loving your blurbos (OCs). Sending u virtual hugs all the way from the Mediterranean and I hope u have a great night/day. Also I've just watched the jjk 0 movie and it was so good. I've also rewatched the whole of jjk at first I didn't like gojo on my first watch but on this rewatch he became my favourite character. I still stand by the fact that mahito is kind of pretty... in his own way. I can't stand geto though but apart from his personality that man is fine as hell I must say, he's on the same ranking as mahito for me in terms of favourites XD. But Nanami is still one of my favourites. Anyways lemme stop rambling , sending u love and support through my screen ♡♡♡♡♡♡

wait are you the same anon in my sideblog??? i’m just asking so i can use your tag there too shsjsj but HELLO i’m so glad you love my silly girls they’re so precious to me i’m happy to know you enjoy learning about them. thank you 🥹

as for tropes: friends to lovers. always. and you are so right for liking it too. the chemistry that’s already there. the casual intimacy but for some reason an accidental hand touching sends them stuttering and there’s the awkward silence. the pining. nights where they can’t sleep thinking about each other, grinning at a stupid joke the other person said. and when people ask “are you guys dating?” and they’re just like “noo haha we’re just really good friends lololol” then the amplified tension after that because deep down they long for each other and they have no clue it’s mutual. and the confessions can never go wrong. whether it’s the blurted out “i’m in love with you” in the middle of an argument or a whispered “i really like you” “i can’t stop thinking about you” PLEASE friends to lovers is a gift that keeps on giving. it’s not just a trope it’s my SUSTENANCE. i love that shit so much <333 and !!! found family. i don’t think that trope has ever let me down. it’s always so fun seeing different dynamics within the group but they all mesh so well <33 also that trope in anastasia where they thought they’re complete strangers only to find out they’ve met when they were kids and they go “that was YOU?!” i am not immune

omg i always forget to watch jjk 0 sjdnejssk and i planned on reading the manga from where the anime left off but i realized how barely i understood their power system so i gave up LMFAOOO i might rewatch it but yes ugh gojo and kento are so sexyyyy i need them 😩😩 pls all the jjk men are so pretty like pretty privilege is a good thing if it’s them <33 ALSO totally unrelated idk if you’ve heard but tokrev only has five chapters left :(

i’m sending you back lots of love!! i just had lunch and it was one of my favorite dishes so i’m in a good mood. i hope your day is going well too 💞

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Twenty

you're stronger than me Nat, I'd be jumping on him like a freaking jack rabbit

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

word count: 2.4k edited by me ....soooo if you see something spelt wrong no you didn't.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @thebadchic @jessitpwk @samanthasgone @laurpartyprogram @myownthoughts12

I walk Noah through the rest of the house, I show him some of the art I made that we have hanging and he looks closely at all of the family photos I have lining the walls. “Is that Maggie and your brother?” he asks in surprise.

“Haha um yeah, they got really close after I left.” I tell him and pick up the scattered clothes I find littered in the hallway. “And then he joined the marines and they stationed him overseas. To stay together they ended up eloping so she could be with hime when he was stationed. They have a little girl, she's five. Her and Erin are so cute together. They'll actually be here in a few days.” I can feel myself starting to ramble and I stop abruptly and smile awkwardly. Noah laughs softly, “You look different but you’re still the same Natty.” he remarks in a small voice.

“Jeeze, your brother could kick my ass before joining the army, can’t imagine what he’d do to me now.” I laugh to break the awkward stale tension and move to the outside of Erin's room. Her walls are Yellow and she has a pink bed with a princess canopy hanging over it.

Along with a bunch of toys, books and stuffed animals all over her desk and shelves. “She’s really into the Percy Jackson books, you know I never read them when I was a kid but they’re pretty good. She loves reading.” I say while I watch him taking everything in. On the floor of her room are several notebooks and sketchbooks open and sprawled out. “Wow, she's an artist. Like you” he says softly. “She also has quite the little voice on her. You should hear her, kids got range.” I say and move to grab what I came in for, Erins photo book.

We move back into the living room and sit side by side on the couch. I open the book and it starts with a picture of Erin as a baby along with her birth information sheet, detailing length, weight and other important facts for newborns. There are a lot of pictures in here, one of the firsts is me holding her after we got home from the hospital.

I look so young. He gently touches the edges of the photo and I see fresh tears gleam in the corner of his eyes. “Nat, I’m- I just can’t believe this.” he chokes out. “I’m so sorry I wasn't there.” he says again and I have to swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I know, Noah. I know, I wish things had been different. I should have tried harder.” I softly place my hand on his shoulder as I whisper out my words and he looks at me with a sad smile.

“This isn’t all on you Natty, I left. Gave up everything I loved to make this dream come true. I should have thought more about all I left behind.'' His voice is hoarse and I don't know if it's from singing just a few hours ago or all of the emotion that's behind his eyes right now.

Lost in his eyes again I feel like a teenage girl again. The girl that was so ridiculously in love with a boy, the boy that’s now a man sitting in front of her and in this moment they share it’s like the last ten years didn’t happen and slowly the distance between them disappears and they’re just a breath apart. Lips hovering about each other in a delicate balance of temptation. The clattering of the photo album falling off Noah's lap reels us both back into reality.

Shaking my head and sitting back further onto my seat I brush my hair back out of my face and grab my cup of water to adjust to our situation. He coughs awkwardly and I try to get focused on what we were doing. Kissing would be a horrible idea. After all of these years he’s still the most attractive man I’ve ever met. But, this confusing situation would only get even messier if we started something romantic again. That would be stupid. Erin still doesn't know about Noah andI have Kyle coming in a few days to worry about. Also, I don't really even know Noah anymore.

Can you still know someone after so long. Coughing to clear my throat and to disrupt the silence I offer an awkward smile as Noah leans down to collect the fallen book. We continue looking through the pages and I tell him about some of the important stages I have documented. “Oh her first birthday, we had it at the park, just me and Haylie, she has been with me through it all, the pregnancy and all of Erin's life.”

He nods silently as we flip through more pages. “Ah, this is after she got her tonsils out, she was so silly off the anesthesia, kept asking me when Pooh Bear was getting dropped off for daycare.” I laugh at the memory and Noah smiles sliding his hand over the page. A lot of the photos are of Erin and I and he looks at those very closely, they also show my change over the years. My hair gets darker and my skin becomeçs more and more covered in tattoos.

“A lots changed since we last saw each other.” he sighs offhandedly and turns the page again to a family photo of another birthday party, but this one while being a great picture includes Erin laughing over her Barbie cake and me, with the arms of my ex-boyfriend Gavin wrapped tightly around me. Talk about awkwardness.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Noah asks softly and I just about fall off of the sofa. “Oh no, um that guy, Gavin? We broke up a while ago. It was pretty mutual, we're just better off as friends.” I rush out in explanation and feel my neck start to sweat.

“Oh, yeah. My schedule is pretty crazy with touring and us trying to make this next album. It's hard to commit to a relationship.” There's a short pause before he finishes in a quick fluster, “that is of course, now with everything I will make time for Erin, I want to be as involved as you’ll allow. I want to be in her life, I want to know her. You as well” the last part comes out much quieter and I can’t help the redness that takes over my cheeks.

“There is a lot that we need to work out, I want you to be in her life too, I know she will want to know you. You said you would be done with the tour soon? What is your plan?” I ask, what does almost done with tour even mean if you tour all of the time? He continues flipping through the book while he answers. “Just a few more weeks and then we will have a long break through the new year, then we will head to Europe. How would you feel about us taking our break here?” he asks and I look around the house, wondering where he’s planning on having four full grown men stay for months. He notices my eyes scanning the house and he laughs, “Not here, Natty. I mean Austin. We will be working but I would have time to get to know Erin.” I let the breath I didn't know I was holding out.

“Oh, that sounds great Noah, and you’d be here for her birthday. It’s in September.” He flips back to the first page, “yeah the 17th? I’m gonna put it in my phone” as he says it he pulls out his phone and I see the blank front page aside from a few apps, “wow, you’re pretty boring Noah,” I joke and he laughs. “Oh yeah, I deleted everything a little while ago, It was just a lot haha, I mean seeing my face everywhere and reading everyone's psychoanalysis of me was too much.” Whatever I’m about to say dies on my tongue when Hailye bursts through the door with Folio’s arm tight around her for support.

“Ohhh Honeyyyy I’m hooome!!” she calls out and I laugh getting up from the couch to take her from Folio. “Honey, you're coming  home with another man? I’m shocked.” I take on the fake role of husband quickly as we begin are dumb little routine. “Well honey, you’re home with another man so I think It’s only fair.” she replies swaying in my arms and I work to steady her. “Thank you for getting her home safe, Foli, I appreciate it” I say to the man standing in my door.

“I’ll watch her anytime, she's a great gal,” he says and I can sense he’s being genuine. “She’s a maneater, but we love her.” I say to him as a slight warning. I love Haylie but she doesn’t stay held down for very long in relationships. Calls herself a lone wolf. Folio winks at me and nods to Noah, I’m assuming to gesture he will wait for him outside. “You’ll find that me and my friends work really hard to get the things we desire.” he says before exiting and heading down the front steps.

I turn to Noah whos waiting patiently on the couch, “just give me a second?” I ask and he nods while I help Haylie to her bed, quickly stripping her. I throw an oversized shirt on her and place her water bottle on her nightstand along with the bottle of ibuprofen she will definitely need in the morning.

Heading back out to the living space I sit next to Noah. “So yall leave tomorrow?” I ask and he shakes his head. “No, we have a few days off actually. Our next show is in three days.” I think on it for a moment before responding. “Okay well, Erin will be home tomorrow and I’ll tell her. I’ll see how she feels but maybe we can meet for lunch the next day before you leave?” A look of nervous excitement crosses his face and I almost want to cry again. “That sounds great Natty, here, put in your number so we can plan things later.”

He hands me his phone and I quickly send myself a text from his phone and just like that we're back in each other’s lives. “I know I can’t make up for these last ten years but I want to try. And Natty. I know that you and I-” I cut him off.

“I think all you and I need to worry about is being the best people for Erin we can be, you and I? I don’t know if that's anything we need to dive into right now.” His jaw tightens slightly but he nods in understanding. “So I’ll reach out tomorrow to see how it goes?” He stands and I follow him to the door. “Okay, I will let you know.”

Before reaching for the door knob Noah turns quickly and wraps me in a surprising hug. “I won’t let you down Natty, not this time.” he says and I barely have time to react before he lets me go and says goodbye and exits. I lock up and rest my head against the cool metal door. “What the fuck.” 

Noah POV

My mind is whirling, here I thought Natty and I were going to talk and after the concert she was going to want to talk about life. Just how much we’ve both changed and how our lives are so different. I thought life was bringing me the miracle of a second chance. I guess in a sense it did, but in a way I never expected. A kid. A child. A daughter.

I have a daughter. “I have a daughter.” I say out loud, and I think it’s the first thing I’ve said since Folio and I got back to the hotel. It’s late and we’re all exhausted but we all gathered in Jolly and Folio’s room. Folio spits his drinks out and coughs, “the fuck?” Jolly shares an equal look of surprise and Nicholas looks like his shoulders sag with what I think is relief. I’ll definitely ask him about that later. “You got someone pregnant? Damn. That could seriously mess up your chances with Miss Natalie," Folio says and I laugh at the irony, as does Nicholas which solidifies my curiosity about him already knowing.

That doesn't even surprise me and I just hope he hasn't known longer than we’ve been here or we will have bigger problems. “Well actually. Natalie is her mother. She’s ten.” I tell them and It’s like saying it outloud makes it so much more real.

“She was pregnant after I left her and just never managed to get to me. She just told me, tonight.” Jolly is the next to ask questions.

“She just never told you? How do you feel about that?” I know he’s considering my feelings but I don’t want to set it up that she intentionally kept me away from my child.

“Well at first when she told me I was pissed and then we just talked about it all. She explained herself and there were a lot of things that I have to accept. She felt abandoned and I did leave her. She tried to tell me and fucking Alex stuck her nose in it and then Kevin said some fucked up shit. It’s not at all what I wanted my life to be with Nat, but, this is happening.” I stand up and move to  grab a sparkling water from the mini fridge.

“Do you still want a life with her?” Nicholas finally speaks up. “I don’t know if I’ll ever fully move on from her, she was the first girl I ever truly loved. But, she doesn't want anything like that with me, especially now. She said all she wants is for us to be there for Erin. So that's what I’ll do.” Folio smiles and grabs me into a crushing hug. “Congratulations Daddy!” he calls out and the other guys laugh.

“So does win baby momma's heart back start now? Or…” Folio asks and I roll my eyes and wrap my arm around his head pulling him into a headlock to ruffle his hair.

“Why don’t we start with trying to get my daughter that probably thinks I abandoned her to like me and then I can start to think about trying to win the love of my life back?”

thank you for reading besties!!

next upload won't be for about a week! working on some other wips an building out the outline for future chapter! love youuuuuu :)

next chapter ->

[ghoulangerlee]

a long rambly post about my very complicated feelings with sex under a read more I need to vent a bit

I think I'm old enough now to admit that sex has always been something confusing for me?? Like! I dunno. For a long time I thought I was ace but I'm not, I just have a lot of self shame that makes it hard for me to see myself as someone desirable

it took me a while to like be comfortable taking my clothes off in front of my own damn husband? I'm p sure I slept in a bra for a bit when I first moved in, too.

I thought for a while I was trans bc I had very complicated feelings about my own genitalia. I didn't like my boobs bc I could see weird men looking at them and sexualizing me when I was a teen bc I've had a big chest since I was 15.

I started writing smut bc it became a way for me to idk put myself into the shoes of a character and explore idk what I thought an ideal sexual encounter would be like.

I practically perfected how to get myself off when I was younger because I always felt like, if I have sex with anyone they're gonna focus on their own pleasure just because they're gonna figure out that penetration alone doesn't get me off and that I need something more than that. So because it's too hard to make me come, the person is just gonna focus on themselves.

Not that it mattered bc I didn't actually do anything with anyone else until I was in my late 20s, just bc I've always been awkward, strange, not sexually appealing or attractive enough for people. Fat. A lot of other very negative things.

It's hard for me to talk about this stuff out loud bc something about being inappropriately touched in the 4th grade by a classmate and having a teacher laugh in your face when you tell her...it just hurts you in a way I guess. And then the subsequent teasing it brought on by the kid who did it... It became shameful. Idk. ("See even she doesn't believe it happened because you're so ugly" lmao) And transitioned later on into me being too ashamed to talk about my wants and needs and fears out loud.

I have thankfully gotten over my complicated feelings about my bits, and I don't mind my boobs so much anymore because I'm good at wearing clothes that are slightly too big. Or unflattering. Like I would love to be one of those people who wear flattering clothes but I am simply too self conscious for it. There's like two wolves fighting in me, one wants to be hot and the other wants to be hidden lmao.

And it's like so funny that me, having written all sorts of smut over these years, have all these complicated feelings, and be unable to tell my husband exactly what I want and how I want it.

I guess that's why fiction exists lmao so I can live vicariously through characters who can say what they want and how they want it without feeling an ounce of shame.

Meanwhile if I even think about wanting to ask for something I freeze up and talk myself out of it before I can even get the words out.

Like I dunno, I was hoping 30 would bring me some sort of revelation on how to stop second guessing my needs and ask for things, but it really hasn't.

I dunno, I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest haha. But like it sucks 99% of the time because the bc shot I'm on always makes me so horny after I get it initially and I am left to suffer bc of a box I've put myself into.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Stranger Things finale

Just gonna say, I am mindblown and now enjoy my rambling haha

This is more a discussion about some writing choices that are complained about and how I see it.

Will

Watched this finale with my best friend and she immediatly pointed out how much the writers mistreated Will, so I'm gonna share my point of view here.

I'm not gonna deny the fact Will was always a mistreated character. There's really not much input coming from him if we look at his story. In season one he was the boy that went missing. We didn't know him. They were going all lengths for someone we didn't know thus didn't have much emotions left for. Season two was about Will being possessed, so he came back but we didn't like him because he wasn't his true self. And then the story took a turn and everything about Will was about Mike, not because they were best friends for life but because Will realized he had a crush. He wanted to spend time with Mike but he was annoyed by him and since Mike is the protagonist, we didn't like Will as well. This season, when El and him were stuck far across the States, it was the first time we ever saw the true Will, something we didn't know. But then Mike turns up and it's all about him again. Will's crush is too deep-rooted.

Many people might (and do) argue that his character has a weird vibe writingwise because he is a queer character without every explicitly adressing this topic. Joyce and Jonathan would just hint "he's different" and accept for Mike's "it's not my fault you don't like girls", we never saw something coming along with those sentences. But I personally think it kinda makes sense, you know. I totally see where the problem lies and the pacing of his story is really slow, not gonna lie. If he gets a love interest in season 5, I'm gonna ask myself why he didn't get it in season 4 at least, but okay, I still try to see it from another perspective. Like I said, we got the vibe of Will having a crush on Mike in season 3. I think it's when he slowly realizes it himself. But like Joyce said before, he is sensitive. Will is shy and unsure. You can see that in his body laguage as he always walks around like he feels misplaced and awkward. That's his whole thing: he feels misplaced. He doesn't tell Mike, he doesn't tell anyone because there's other stuff going on and he feels like he is not really a part of it even though he's right in the middle. He doesn't want to be a burden, so he keeps quiet. Then, they move and it's even worse now that Jonathan fades. The only person Will has such a deep bond with and could talk to whenever is now vanishing. El has her own weight to carry and Joyce is too careful with him, so Will has no one. He is isolated from Hawkins and has no other anchor. It goes on and on. The insecurities and fears and sadness follow him. I mean, he starts crying in that car when he talks to Mike, not able to tell him about his crush. Jonathan steps up again, is in the picture again and reassures Will nothing changed between them, implying that even though Will is gay, nothing is different about him. I think this is all Will needed to be sure there are people with him, important ones, that will no give up on him. He is not a failure and never was. He was punished for nothing he did wrong. I think he can heal from now on. The scene was small and quiet but it was extremely important for Will to hear it.

Eddie

The fan's favourite I always felt would die. Stranger Things always introduces people that don't give much to the story and then die in their last heroic act. Season 2: Bob. Season 3: Alexei. Season 4: Eddie. They all sacrifice themselves in the end because they somehow ended up being involved and as a part of the group that shows less initiative than the others. I always had that feeling about Eddie.

I see many, many people saying his death was meaningless and unnecessary but that's not entirely true. The group of five went into the upside down, following a plan. Eddie and Dustin were the ones to draw attention to the bats, so the others would be left unnoticed. Since all organisms in the upside down are linked, Eddie and Dustin had to stay behind and fight against the bats even when Steve, Robin and Nancy were already in the house. The second, onecof them would have stepped on one tarantula, the bats would have known. So yes, it makes sense Eddie kept fighting them and he didn't die for nothing. He knew that. He knew he had his part and he kept following the plan no matter what, like Nancy said. It wasn't a meaningless death and it was not unhelpful to the others.

I see the time skip can be a problem but have we ever seen grief of other characters who didn't witness the death? Bob died and there was a time jump. Billy died and there was a time jump. Now Eddie died and there was a time jump. It is a pattern really. Yes, we didn't see the other people react to Eddie's death and they seem fine after the two days time jump but Stranger Things was never sincere with all characters. It's sad but well, Eddie was assumed to be too unimportant to have the other characters mourn his death except for Dustin who literally held him in his arms.

Max and El

Both Max and El are captured by Vecna and we once again see their difference. Max was saved by music, saved by memories of her friends but El was saved by Mike alone. This may seem unfair for the other characters because El is as much part of the group as Max but there is a fundamentally difference within the origin of Max and El. Max is in general more social and El always feels like an outsider, like a failure, like a monster. Mike is the only person she trusts to not think bad about her, who makes her feel the most normal. Max treated her no different as well but El is very fixiated on Mike and the love she has for him, so it makes sense he is the one to get her to fight again.

Will and El are pretty similar in that matter. They isolate themselves because they think nobody likes them for real. They can't relax and have one person only they run to and feel the savest with. In Will's case, it's Jonathan and for El, it's Mike. It's always been Mike. He believes in her and though it might be selfish of him to say "fight because I can't live without you" because it seems to be more about him than about El, it mirrors the love they share. Love is always a give and take. Being loved is a feeling one can't describe but you know you don't want it to stop. So in this context, El fights because she doesn't want to loose Mike. She wants to love him still and wants to keep the feeling of being loved. It's a complicated thing to explain but it's not that selfish because once you are in love, your happiness depends on another person. So loving someone is not just about you but the other as well, so saying you can't live without them is more likely implying that you love them and will continue to do so, knowing they want you to do that too.

Max wasn't with Lucas, pushed him away and the first time Vecna got her, she lived through it because of her friends, because she wasn't with Lucas and didn't want to be stuck with these memories when it was her who broke them apart. It was too painful then. In the end, she hides in a memory that includes Lucas, because they bonded again and it's not painful any longer.

El and Max were both nearly dying because of Vecna and they both have their different anchors and ways to cope with it, so saying it doesn't make sense El only needed Mike doesn't add up to me because her character is extremely different from Max's.