#i just love to talk is all

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

I posted 464 times in 2022

That's 89 more posts than 2021!

179 posts created (39%)

285 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lovelybarnes

@procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics

@levithestripper

@killerchickadee

I tagged 327 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 62 posts

#ask reply - 61 posts

#ivar - 46 posts

#vikings - 45 posts

#hvitserk - 42 posts

#history vikings - 41 posts

#ivar the boneless - 38 posts

#procrastinatingsoicanreadfanficsreplies - 36 posts

#ivar lothbrok - 36 posts

#ubbe - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 83 characters

#lksajldsjglkfdjglkj each time someone mentions me as a great writer i loose my shit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Harwin Strong NSFW Alphabet

Summary: Harwin Strong’s NSFW Alphabet

Notes: HOW HAS THIS NOT BEEN POSTED ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB??? THE AUDACITY??? anyway, alphabets for ser crissy and almond coming soon

Masterlist | Requests are OPEN! | hmu to be added to a taglist!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Expect the very best aftercare from him – wipes you down, gets you a drink and massages you if you want. Definitely counts cuddling as aftercare.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is probably his hair. He just loves to have it tugged on a little while he’s eating you out or while the two of you are in a make-out sesh. Plus, he’s just got nice hair, why not be proud of it.

His partner’s favorite body part are definitely their thighs. I mean come ON this man loves to eat out I just know it. He leaves hickeys everywhere because he can and he also loves holding them or squeezing them, even in non-sexual situations.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This man does NOT pull out (that’s how Rhaenyra’s kiddos happened). There’s just something about cumming inside you that feels so right, plus he might just have a tiny (massive) breeding kink

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lowkey wants you to come to him while he’s on duty and start something frisky…

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Look at him. My mans knows exactly what he’s doing, and he does because he values communication and his partner’s pleasure.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

There’s just something about cowgirl/partner on top that is everything to him. He gets to lean back and admire all of you, maybe whisper a few sweet nothings while you get off on him.

Alternatively, 69. It’s practical – he gets to do what he loves and his dick sucked?? Fucking perfect.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Whatever the moment calls for, honestly. He can be as serious as he is humorous. He won’t stare at you in silence if you fall off the bed lmao.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet matches the drapes. He will groom if you ask him to, otherwise he just leaves it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Biggest hopeless romantic. Would get the moon for you if you asked him, and it shows in the bedroom. Every action is loaded with affection.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jacks off if he can’t have sex, but prefers to get off with a partner. Also isn’t patient enough to just watch you. You let out a moan, and he’s practically teleporting himself across the room to make you feel good.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

HUGE breeding kink. Speaking of huge, he definitely has a size kink, especially when it comes to hands. Maybe a slight switch, and adores dirty talk/praise

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bed, where he can take his time to make you scream. If you’re a dragonrider, then sure, a dragon works too.

See the full post

477 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#4

Modern!Human in Kaer Morhen

Summary: How the Witcher characters would try to impress a modern person + feel about them

Notes: I put some of the non-Witcher characters here too since some of them wintered at Kaer Morhen as well

it's been a while, but i had my wisdom teeth removed and was incapacitated for the last few days

Tagged: @lucyinthelibrary @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @sunndust (hmu to be tagged!)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Geralt

He tries to stay away from you at first since destiny loves to fuck him over

But you’re just so nice

Finally he’s being treated like a normal person

Would never admit it out loud

Doesn’t try to impress you per se, but tries to show that he cares about you and might become very protective

Yennefer

Has one talk with you, becomes the Continent’s first suffragette

Loves you for being a feminist (if you aren’t, why are you reading this??)

Tries to impress you with magic

Would probably work (come on! PORTALS???)

Very possessive of you, even as a friend

Triss

Honestly, she doesn’t really think about impressing you at all

But she kinda does?

She’s just a super kind person in a super shitty world

If she actually does try to actively impress you, it’ll also be through magic

Just more wholesome opposed to Yen’s intimidating

Jaskier

Will write you a song

And a song about you

He’s a bard, so be prepared to be serenaded (it would probably work on me tbh)

Ofc super flirty

So happy that you treat his witcher friends as anyone else

See the full post

618 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

How The Witcher characters would react to someone from our world falling into theirs

Summary: they’d not appreciate destiny doing this

Notes: More witcher content from me yay! this is inspired by my vikings post that kind of made me into the timetraveler gal

Taglist: @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie (hmu to be added)

Masterlist | requests are OPEN!

Geralt

Fuck

This was not on his table. Not some person just appearing out of nowhere, but clearly not from a portal, and clearly very confused

Oh he believes you’re not from the Continent. He just does not like it, at all

Despite everything, he’ll take good care of you

Helps you until you can stand on your own feet, and then fucks off (unless something else happens in between 😏)

Yennefer

She expects you coming to the Continent to be on purpose

Since you have absolutely no power or means of survival, she can for once trauma dump

Wants to leave the Continent upon finding out about surrogates/adoption/etc.

Would help you, but not very reliably

I think the two of you could become friends, given time

Adopts a child with your help (or just takes in an army of orphans)

Jaskier

Will write a song about this

Is with Geralt when you appear, unlike Geralt, he’s extremely thrilled

This is the most interesting thing that has happened to him in years

Talks to you about everything your world has to offer

You’ve got yourself a free, financially stable friend that’ll stick with you, congrats

Triss

Probably the person that realizes the quickest how much you miss your world

She’s an ✨empath ✨

Will take care of you, and that is a threat

She’d also teach you everything about plants and herbs, so you can find work on your own

Not that you need to, because you can count on her to always help you out

See the full post

737 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#2

I am his, and he is mine

Summary: You’re married off to Ser Harwin Strong by your lord father’s designs, and the prospect of a marriage consummation terrifies you.

Notes: idk man I just need more Harwin Breakmybones smut. Harwin obviously isn’t with our queen Rhae Rhae in this. Also, pretending not to know what we do abt Larys here.

Warnings: virgin!reader, reader is intimidated by Harwin, first time, reader is extremely innocent, vaginal sex, oral sex (f!receiving), Harwin loves eating punani

Masterlist | requests are OPEN! | hmu to be added to a taglist!!

Marrying his bride the day he met her was never what he wanted. Harwin didn’t consider himself a romantic, but he thought it cruel to be bound to someone you didn’t know for the rest of his life. It was more unfair to you, being a woman and forbidden from seeking out others for love.

His father had meant well with this marriage. Apparently, your father was a childhood friend, and you the oldest daughter of a great house. Though Lord Lyonel wasn’t ambitious, he was loyal to his friends, and the king, who encouraged the match. So in a whirlwind of affairs, the betrothal had been arranged by ravens, and the marriage planned.

You had married in the sept of King’s Landing earlier this day, and though Harwin had written you a letter to calm your nerves, the first time he got any impression of you was when your father led you to the altar.

He felt sorry for you. Whatever dreams you had held for the future had been crushed the moment the septon bound you in marriage. And on top of that, he wasn’t sure if you were scared of him or not. His reputation was true to his character, and next to his wide frame, almost every woman looked frail.

And now, while the wedding feast was in full swing, he saw your hands shake as you attempted to cut your food. He tried to distract himself, looking around the room and attempting to take his mind off of the fact that his lady wife seemed to find him unpleasant.

King Viserys was sitting next to his father, leaving Queen Alicent to put on an icy mask. She was better at hiding it than his wife. Perhaps because she had been in King’s Landing for longer. Princess Rhaenyra, on the other hand, was deep in conversation with Lady Laena. The two of them had grown closer since the rift between Rhaenyra and Alicent, and if Ser Harwin was not mistaken, the Queen looked almost jealous.

Prince Daemon was currently returned from his latest exile, trying to rile up Otto Hightower. Judging from the strain in the man’s jaw, the Prince was quite successful in his venture.

Still, it was his wife that seemed the tensest in the room. The new lady Strong, and yet, you seemed to be anything but. From what he had heard from his father, you liked to read and was very well educated, but beyond that only quiet. You did not ride, or hunt, or keep an army of ladies around her.

For the latter, he was grateful, but for the others… It seemed you didn’t have anything in common. Harwin was as educated as a future lord needed to be, but he preferred to train and hunt. The first time he even heard you speak outside of her vows was to his brother.

“A gift, for the bride.” He said, offering you a book. At that, your face lit up.

“Thank you, Lord Larys.”

“I hear you tried to become a Maester once?” he asked, and you blushed.

“I was five and had not yet realized the Citadel accepted neither women nor children.”

Harwin smiled to himself. It seemed that, at the very least, you had some spirit. When his brother had left, he tried to find something to talk to you about.

“So, what topics interest you?” he tried.

“History and medicine.” you replied curtly.

“Yes, I imagine Aegon’s conquest is an interesting read.” He said. You tried to suppress a smile at that, and Harwin raised a brow.

“Is it not?” he asked.

“Forgive me, my lord, but every child is told the story of his conquest over and over. The histories of Old Valyria before the Doom and Nymeria’s conquest are much more interesting, especially since so much source material has been lost.” you said.

He could tell that you weren’t asked about these things very often, the words spilling out of your mouth so quickly.

“What about you?” you asked.

“Hunting and fighting.” He replied.

“Does that not get boring after a while?”

“It is to me what reading is to you.” Harwin said. He knew you were from the Westerlands, where people spoke more eloquently, and though he was from the Riverlands and had no use for flowery words, he tried for you.

Your silence returned when dessert was served. You dreaded the bedding, and Harwin didn’t think he had seen many brides that were as terrified of it as you.

See the full post

1,315 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Of Traitors and Oathbreakers

Summary: A Black in Greens territory is never a good thing, especially if that means falling into the hands of Prince Aemond

Notes: Aemond and reader are childhood friends turned enemies (with benefits). Had to write something for my favorite war criminal. The reader is the child of the blacksmith of the Red Keep (bc why make Targaryen!readers when they can be ~different~)

Hobroti jās – Fuck off

Nyke pendagon avy jorrāelan – I think I love you

Warnings: rough/hate sex, dub-con (power imbalance), biting, scratching choking etc, mentions of starvation, war, imprisonment

Taglist: @levithestripper (hmu to be added!)

Ending 1 / Ending 2 | Masterlist | requests are OPEN!

You didn’t remember how you got here. In fact, you didn’t even remember where you had been wanting to go, or who had been with you.

All you knew was that you were stuck in a cold cell, water dripping from the ceiling between short pauses of silence and driving you close to madness. When you looked out of the small crack in the wall of your cell, you’d seen molten towers you only recognized from childhood tales.

Harrenhal.

Currently territory of the Greens, and you were a Black. The name Targaryen could neither protect nor endanger you here, and for that you were grateful, but for everything else…

They didn’t let you out, whoever your jailers were. If your standing allowed it, you would have thrown the bread they gave you back into their faces and called them cowards.

But your mother had taught you to be resourceful, and your father had never let you leave scraps on your plate.

The only way for you to gauge how much time had passed was from the crack in the wall, watching the sun rise and set, but even like that you lost count after a while. You would’ve gone insane from the cold in your bones or the slow drips from the ceiling, or maybe even the loneliness, if it hadn’t been for the expression of wrath you had seen on the face of your Queen.

Your Queen. Rhaenyra. And yet, she would not risk her life, or that of any of her dragonriders to save you. You knew that when you kneeled for her in Dragonstone, and you had remembered it ever since. Yet you couldn’t help but wish that the situation was different.

Dying like this wasn’t what you wanted. It was everything you despised – the cold, the loneliness, the harsh walls around you. Worst of all was the darkness though.

You’d grown up in your father’s workshop, surrounded by fire as the Targaryens were with their dragons. Light and heat was your childhood, your comfort, and though learning the craft had gone to your brothers, you hadn’t let that keep you from picking up every weapon your father had crafted.

A gift that had cursed you later in life, bringing you into this cell.

The first time they opened the cell door completely could’ve been days or decades after your initial imprisonment. You didn’t demand answers, didn’t fight them yet, letting them drag you out and through empty hallways.

Once, you caught the smell of soot and ash, wondering whether it was from a smithy or a dragon. Were they taking you to your execution?

You doubted it. No one but the Targaryens were executed by the Targaryens themselves.

Instead, they brought you to the tubs that were in the cellars of Harrenhal. The water was hot, steam rising up from the water of the pools, and you could swear that there had never been a lovelier sight.

The guards did not bother turning their backs, so you turned yours. You had no weapon to defend yourself, and you weren’t ready to give all of your dignity just yet. Quickly, you sank into the steaming water, beginning to scrub the smell of dirt, blood and piss from your skin.

Death clung to your skin like a scared child to her mother. You hated it.

The cell had given you more than enough time to remember, but it seemed that you could not. All you knew was that you had been sent to find the host of the Northmen, making your way through the Riverlands.

Somewhere between Dragonstone and Harrenhal, someone had killed your crew and taken you prisoner, leaving you to wake up with their blood on your hands, literally.

Your bath was cut short by a young woman shooing the guards out, before helping you out of it. She was the first one to show you a semblance of respect, handing you clean clothes and a cloth to dry yourself, but she wasn’t willing to talk to you.

Perhaps they were all mute here, terrified into silence by their Lord, the Lord Confessor of the Greens. Perhaps it was yet another way to torture you.

She was somewhat gentle when she helped you lace your dress, before she left you to your own devices again. It was strange to be clean again after such a long time. The dance had left you permanently disheveled in some way.

See the full post

1,384 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sunbloomdew]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

[ronanlynchbf]

tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[egophiliac]

What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?

I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.

I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay

also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time

[anotherpapercut]

just had an absolutely sickening conversation with a 20 year old I work with wherein I had to impress upon her that her and her friends need to be extremely cautious going to the gay clubs right now with increasing attacks happening. make sure any very young, very newly adult queer people in your life know that we're a family and community and part of that is being willing to fight for your siblings lives if they're under attack. even if it's a person you despise, you stick up for your family and they will stick up for you. we are all we have. the cops refuse to help, and so do most people outside the community. we cannot survive without each other

[bleakbluejay]

you motherfuckers have no concept of what "land back" or "decolonize" even mean. you're too busy demonizing entire groups of people, terrified, shitting yourselves, that they'll do even half of the horrors to you that you've done to them for decades or centuries. this shit comes off as hella racist for real. you hate arabs so much. you hate first nations people so much. you hate black people so much. even if you sympathize with them, you can't fucking bear the idea of them gaining freedom, independence, autonomy, safety, because you're so, so scared they'll hurt you back and cause chaos in the streets. these same people who just want to rebuild. who just want to go home. who just want to see their families again. who just want food. who just want medical care. who just want dry, warm shelter. you're so focused on the ideas of colonization, of "us vs. them", of one people displacing the other for a state to exist, that you cannot comprehend coexistence, and your only idea of peace is if an entire group of people were just gone and dead.

grow the fuck up. for the love of GOD, grow the fuck up.

[knifearo]

you can literally just be aromantic. it’s free and nobody’s stopping you :)

[catsauceeartofficial]

Accepting isolation, craving belonging

[demigods-posts]

i have this headcanon that percy and annabeth are raging accidental flirts. but not with each other. like. they'll go to the coffee shop on fifteenth street. and compliment the barista on his hair and clothes and tip really well. but only for him. and they have no idea this boy is absolutely swooning over them. or. each time they to go the bakery downtown. they take the time to converse with the waitress at the counter as they eat her homemade muffins. and are incredibly vocal about how she's their favorite server. and how much they enjoy seeing her. and suddenly they're the only two customers that can get her services for free. except, they just think she's like that with everyone.

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

steve “cant get out of bed till middle of the day, barely leaves his house or is never home, isolating himself from everyone, never takes time for himself anymore, depressed and is slowly losing more and more of himself every single day” harrington post 1986’

robin “i know you loved her, and it must’ve killed that she wouldn’t take you back, but nancy is happy steve and she still loves you. she’s not the only one out there for you, and you’ve gotta get over it. we miss you” buckley post 1986’, trying to help her best friend

steve “…this isn’t about nancy” harrington.

robin “wha-?… oh. oh steve.” buckley.

he still wears the vest.

[choccy-milky]

MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

multishipping

[kagoutiss]

pelican town, ‘72