#i just made this for funsies and to let him be goofy

[donttellunclesam]

flagging and other such shenanigans

(close ups under the cut)

[wooahaes]

svt - pick-up lines

pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader

prompt: reader hitting on their partner with pick-up lines. for funsies.

genre: fluff. comedy? this is so silly.

warnings: bad pick-up lines. goofy silly hours teehee!! established relationship in all of these.

daisy’s notes: ive had these plans for a while. this is just me enjoying pick-up lines. theyre so silly goofy sometimes.

choi seungcheol

“cheollie,” you called out from your end of the couch. he looked up from his phone with a hum, and you kept a straight face. “do you believe in love at first sight?”

to your surprise, he mused over the question for a minute. “what? i don’t know, i think--”

you spoke up over him, trying to quell your urge to laugh: “do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?”

and he stared at you, brows furrowing together before it clicked. ah. you must have found pick-up lines online or something. “honey. we’ve been dating for two years. you don’t need to hit on me like this--”

“answer the question, cheollie!”

“no!” he laughed, “if you’re going to hit on me, then do one that makes sense!” 

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan hummed as he focused on cooking dinner... yet he heard the telltale sound of you making your way over, and glanced up. “hi, honey,” he said, before going back to his work. “it’ll only be a little longer--”

“hey. jeonghan.” he could hear the way you’re trying not to crack up over whatever you were about to say. “i hope you know CPR... because you’re taking my breath away.”

he looked up, half-expecting to see you holding your camera up, but instead you’re just smiling like an idiot. at least you’re his idiot, if anything. he gave you the tiniest once-over, before going back to his work. “your hand looks heavy... can i hold it for you?”

and immediately you cringed--something he caught out of the corner of his eye--causing him to laugh.

“you won’t win!” he said, looking at you. “i memorized some the moment i saw you googling them last night!”

“you cheater!” you said through your giggles, making your way over to steal a kiss from him. “ugh, you’re so mean!”

he chuckled against your lips instead. “and you’re still laughing.”

joshua hong

joshua had been doing the dishes when you sidled up to him with this goofy smile on your face. he glanced up for a moment, about to ask why you were smiling so hard all of a sudden, only for you to speak up.

“are you from tennessee--”

“babe. i’m literally from california,” he chuckled.

“no, shh,” you reached up to cover his mouth, “you’re ruining it--”

he chuckled, pulling your hand away, “i know.” and he abandoned his work, turning to you as he laned in. “and i’m gonna keep ruining it--”

“what? no!” you whined, “you’re so mean--just let me finish the line--”

he kissed you anyway, giggling when he felt you smile against his lips. when you started to try to finish the line when he pulled away, he merely kissed you again.

(you weren’t going to finish the line... but you didn’t mind it so much when every attempt was met with a kiss).

wen junhui

jun had been curled up on the couch, a book in his hands when he heard you call out to him.

“jun. junnie.” he looked up to see you approaching, phone in hand. “if i were a cat...” you looked up, smiling hard, “i’d spend all nine lives with you.”

oh no. oh NO. you were CUTE. maybe the pickup line was silly as hell, but you were adorable and it made him start to giggle. he buried his face in his book. “i thought we were past this stage!”

“are you a cat?” you pulled the book down as you crawled over, “because you’re purrrrfect--”

again, he started to giggle over your silly pickup lines. of course you’d pick cat ones. this man had a weakness sometimes and it was cats. the fact that you looked incredibly pleased with yourself only made this worse (or better? jun couldn’t tell which: your joy was great, but how was he supposed to live after this?).

counter attack time. he dived forward, quickly kissing you before breaking into more giggles. “are you happy now?”

with a giggle, you leaned forward, about to kiss him again. “very.”

kwon soonyoung

“soonyoung!”

your boyfriend looked up from where he was getting a drink from the fridge, suddenly caught off guard. did he do something? or... maybe you asked him for something and he was about to forget it? soonyoung could be a little forgetful, and usually you approaching him like this either meant he forgot something, or he did something. slowly, he pushed the fridge close, still staring you down..

“if you were a song,” you said, “you’d be the best single on the album.”

the fridge shut, and he could hear that hiss of it being sealed back as he continued to stare at you. wait. single? “are you breaking up with me?”

“what? no, soonie, i’m hitting on you.”

what the fuck were you talking about...? “honey... we’re already dating.”

“soonyoung--”

“ohh, right,” he twisted the tap of his water bottle. he lifted it to take a sip, pausing long enough to finish the thought, “you’re still bad at flirting.”

“soonyoung!”

he set the bottle aside as he made his way to you, “it’s okay,” he giggled. he reached out, pulling you into his arms. “i still love you and your bad pick-up lines.”

jeon wonwoo

wonwoo had been standing in the middle of the bookstore when you suddenly approached him, giggling. he could see from the twinkle in your eyes that you had something planned, and you reached out, patting his arm with a “hey, hey, wonwoo,” that told him immediately you’d been distracted while looking up the book you were looking for.

“yes?”

“on a scale from one to ten,” you said, “you’re a nine, and i’m the one you need--”

wonwoo blinked at you. “you’re not a one, though.”

immediately, your head shot up as you stared at him, suddenly embarrassed. as you swat at his arm, with a pouty “wonwoooo,” wonwoo giggled at you.

“you’re so cute,” he said. “did you find the book we’re looking for?”

he could see the light bulb over your head as you went wide-eyed, suddenly reminded your mission. “oh, right!”

lee jihoon

“jihoonie?” you called out, immediately getting your boyfriend’s attention as he was comparing two boxes of cereal. “if you were words on a page... you’d be fine print.”

... what the hell? he just stared at you, saying nothing as he tried to figure out what you were doing. was soonyoung around the corner? had you run into him and he pitched this idea...? or maybe it had been vernon. or mingyu. or... honestly, he had a lot of friends who teased him because his face went bright red whenever you teased him.

“if you were a vegetable,” you continued to read off of your phone, “you’d be a cute-cumber.”

this was even more confusing. he could see you were smiling. were you planning something? this had to be a prank. his face kept growing warmer by the second: of course you’d find cute pick-up lines to use on him. you didn’t even do this when the two of you started dating.

“if you were a fruit--”

“why are you hitting on me? we’re already dating.”

you had smiled to yourself again, that twinkle in your eye telling him that you were about to tease him again. yet when you looked up, you saw how red his face was getting. no point in letting this go to waste. “you’d be a fine-apple,” you finished.

and that immediately netted you jihoon whining at you with a quiet “stop, i’m going to die and then you won’t have a boyfriend anymore. do you want me to die?”

(... and of course, that meant you’d hit him with an angel-themed pick-up line minutes later after you found a suitable one.)

lee seokmin

"hey. are you a chicken?”

seokmin looked up from where he was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his social media on this lazy afternoon. he furrowed his brow, thinking over your words again. you knew as well as anyone else that seokmin wasn’t the greatest with stuff like horror movies. he clung to you the entire time you went to a haunted house with him, after all. “i--”

“because you’re im-peck-able.”

he snorted after a moment, already smiling. “ah--really? you’re hitting on me like this?” he paused after a moment. “... aren’t you tired?”

you giggled, “nope! i still have more--”

“because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

immediately, you yelled before diving forward, burying your face in his shirt. “that’s not fair!”

he laughed, bringing you into his arms as he sat up. “joshua told me that one once,” he giggled, “and i thought i missed my chance to use it on you.”

oh, of course he wanted to use it on you. what a dork. at least he was your dork.

kim mingyu

mingyu had been in the middle of cooking dinner when he heard you come in. he called out to you, asking how your day had gone. you’d made conversation easily enough as you slipped out of your shoes and into your house slippers, making your way into the kitchen. you leaned against the counter, watching him drop long noodles into boiling water.

“gyu.” yet when he merely hummed in response, you called his name again until he looked at you. “are you parents bakers?”

he furrowed his brows. “what? you know what my parents do, we’ve--”

“because you’re a cutie pie.”

he stared at you for a moment, words sinking in before he threw his head back and laughed. the pick-up line wasn’t so funny as much as it was his love for you that made him laugh. mingyu was utterly and entirely endeared to you in every way, and that included laughing at your silly little jokes. before you could even try to say another one, he made his way over to you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you.

“you’re so cute,” he giggled.

“it wasn’t that funny, you know,” you wrapped your arms around him. you’d save the other pick-up lines for later.

he squeezed you tight. “it was. because it was yours,” he said, giggling again. “really... i love you. you’re so cute.” he let go of you, stepping back to watch dinner. “dinner should be ready soon, by the way.”

you smiled, leaning against the counter once more. “i almost said something about your cake, you know--”

(which only earned you him yelling, laughing a little as he did so. god, he loved you.)

xu minghao

minghao had called out for you to come in once he heard you knock on the door of his art studio, and he’d nodded to you politely as you came in. without thinking twice, he continued his work, now acutely aware of the audience he had. he didn’t mind working in front of you--he trusted you to know that art was a process and the vision truly came together toward the end.

“hao?” you asked, sounding genuinely confused. “did you do something to my eyes?”

he furrowed his brows, looking over to where you were standing. “no? is something wrong--”

“because i can’t take them off of you.”

immediately, all concern for you evaporated because he saw the way you were smiling, the way you barely concealed your giggles now that he was looking at you. “are you done?”

your smile faltered. “oh. sorry, are you busy? i didn’t mean to--”

he giggled a moment later, so soft and airy. you’d always told him he had a cute laugh. “you don’t have to flirt with me,” he said, beckoning you over. he leaned in, pressing a kiss against your cheek. “i’m already yours.” 

boo seungkwan

seungkwan had been sitting across from you, coffee sitting in front of him, as he scrolled through one of his social media accounts. he’d been looking for a specific post to show you, listening to you ramble on about your day as he searched.

“hey. do you have a name?” you asked all of a sudden, immediately earning a confused look from seungkwan. “or can i just call you mine?”

his nose wrinkled as he gave you this look of disgust. “what? we’re already dating. what are you talking about?” he paused, looking around. “is someone recording this?”

you just giggled, watching him. “did the sun come out? or did you just smile at me?”

seungkwan, who was very much not smiling at you, actually cracked one at that one. “really? should i wait for you to be done?”

“yes.” you glanced back down at your phone, “do you play soccer? because you look like a keeper--”

seungkwan grabbed his coffee, getting up to leave you there. he heard your “hey!” as he walked away, smiling to himself. all too soon, you’d chased after him, taking your hand in his.

“i’m done,” you giggled. “but you are, y’know. a keeper.”

“i know,” he smiled, squeezing your hand. “and i’m yours, too.”

he’d have to find a pick-up line to use on you later, just to give you a taste of your own medicine... you’ll just never see it coming.

chwe vernon

vernon knew you were up to... something. you’d been skulking around, this devious smile on your face as you wandered to and fro, giggling to yourself. at first, he thought this had to be some kind of ‘look at this costume i bought our child’ (your cat) deal, since that had happened before (which was why you owned a sonic the heggehog onesie for said cat). yet you had leaned over the couch, watching him for a moment.

“hey.”

he raised a brow. “hey?”

“if you and i were socks, we’d make a great pair.”

he rolled his eyes, settling back into the couch. “i think we’d have like. a sick pattern, too, actually.”

you pouted slightly, apparently not satisfied with his reaction. “if you were a triangle,” you said, recovering well enough, “you’d be acute one.”

he looked up at you again. “babe, i don’t remember geometry.”

“oh my god.” you buried your face in your hands for a moment. again, you recovered. “hey. what’s it like to be the most gorgeous person in the room?”

“i dunno,” he leans up, “what’s it like?”

you shoved your face into your hands again, letting out a groan as he laughed. this was what you got for leaving your phone open to a page of pick-up lines with a boyfriend who was more than ready to beat you at your own game. he’d only hoped you’d try to hit him with something like that last one.

“vernonnnn,” you drew out his name in a whine. “i hate you.”

he giggled, leaning up to pull one of your hands away from your face, and pressed a kiss against your cheek. “love you too,” he giggled.

lee chan

chan had been standing by the produce when you came back to him with the bread, setting it into your cart. he stood right where you had hoped he would be, looking over sweet potatoes since they were on your grocery list.

“hey. channie.”

he merely hummed in response, setting another sweet potato into the bag.

“if you were a potato,” you nod toward the one in his hand, “you’d be a sweet potato.”

he looked up, a little confused. “okay? thank you?”

“if i could rearrange the alphabet--”

“oh no.”

“--i’d put U and I together.”

chan let out a sigh, a smile breaking out as he hung his head for a minute. he looked at you again, still smiling. “are there more? i’ll wait if there are.”

you just wrapped your arm around his, pressing your side against his. “nope,” you said. “just wanted to see your face.”

he chuckled, shifting just enough that he could comfortably continue gathering sweet potatoes. “you didn’t put these on the list so you could use that line, right?”

“nope,” you hummed. “just seized the opportunity.”

he chuckled. “good to know,” he planted a quick peck on your cheek, still smiling to himself. at least he found you cute.

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @wonuziex​ @gyulbabie​

[keeganbrainmush]

141 + los vaqueros with m!reader who has a snatched waist😭

141 + Vaqueros with a s/o with a ' snatched ' waist. ; Male reader

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪I know I said I'm on hiatus but please listen 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪Headcanons ; nsfw mentions 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪I made these short I'm sorry

navigation.

Cpt. John Price

When you revealed your waist, (whether it was when you were changing after working out or just taking your shirt off) he was shocked.

Don't get him wrong, he has a nice waist too. But yours was a sight for sore eyes.

If you were more muscular or thin guy and your toned abdomen would highlight your waist he'd tease you about it.

" What you got that for? "

He loves it overall

Especially when he can use it as a handle to fuck into you harder

Simon " Ghost " Riley

Simon is also the owner of a slutty man waist.

Jokes about how you guys are so meant for eachother to the point you have matching waists.

Likes massaging your back and focusing on the midline of your torso.

Wraps his arms around your waist while resting his head during cuddling.

Likes to hold onto it when he's riding you.

John " Soap " MacTavish

Drools over your waist.

Will praise you if he feels like it.

Will stand behind you while you wash dishes or cook and rub his hands over his curves while kissing your neck and mumbling silent praises. (I should write a fic on this.)

When you just lay on the couch or your bed with your shirt off he will start rubbing at your waist.

He loves you so much, and he loves your midriff too.

Kyle " Gaz " Garrick

He's just a tease about it.

" What's that waist so small for? For me to grab it? "

Very much hopes you agree with his statement.

He's pathetic about your waist, finding any excuse to touch you, wrap his arms around you etc.

When he fucks your thighs he likes to hug your waist as he looses himself of you.

Leaves hickies on your abdomen just for funsies.

Alejandro Vargas

He's a slut

Likes running his fingers around the dip of your waist when you lay on your side when you're asleep.

Asks if you can dance with him because your waist is perfect grabbing on too.

Wonders if you do any specific workout routine to keep it intact.

Has a wildly inappropriate imagination on what he could do to you with the assistance of your waist.

Let your mind wander.

Rodolfo " Rudy " Parra

HE'S SO HUSBAND.

Has a goofy lovesick grin on his face everytime he feels up on your waist.

He rubs his head on your abdomen to relieve stress, his small stubble tickling at you.

Will just lay his head on your stomach with your hand in his hair, massaging away at his scalp.

Uses your waist as a handle to keep you from squirming away when giving you head, making sure you give him every single drop.

[preeningpisces]

Gojo NSFW Headcanons

Lemme know if you want me to elaborate/write something about any of these 🩵

I make fun of him a lot in these, I couldn't stop myself I'm afraid

18+ content below the cut, mdni, implied chubby f!reader

◉ We all know he’s a tease, he runs on bastard energy. There may or may not have been a few incidents where he denied too much, took too long, and legit made your pussy dry up—you never let him forget when it happens too. Good, knock this bitch down a peg

◉ Speaking of peg, I think we as a community have agreed this guy is a switch. Being the strongest & always having to be in control makes giving up control appealing & relieving for a lot of ppl, Gojo included

◉ In fact, I think you get the most emotional reactions from Gojo when he’s being submissive because he trusts you & is free to loosen up the tight hold he has over himself. So mushy gushy

◉ Literally does not stfu in bed—he just streams his consciousness when he’s having sex. Everything in his mind just comes out. Which sometimes leads to ridiculous scenarios, like the time he accidentally moaned pizza because he was hungry

◉ Goofy-ass man in bed, but he can be very serious & intense too when he wants to be—yum

◉ Loves loves loves quickies, especially if you’re wearing a skirt and the risk of his cum rolling down your thigh is present. Especially loves it when you're all 'Satoru, we can't do it here >:[' and he relents, and then a few moments later you go '....well, i mean maybe we can just makeout a bit,' and then suddenly he's fingering you, and you're giving him a handjob. Whoops

◉ A live male-whimpering asmr audio, he is noisy af in bed like he doesn’t try to keep quiet at ALL. This makes sneaky sex in public places super stressful, you gotta gag him with his blindfold more often than not

◉ Also likes role play, especially corny porn tropes, like “oh no, I can’t pay for my pizza“ 10/10 super fun time. Y'all are giggling the whole time

◉ Pretty much willing to try anything once, within reason. Has a high sex drive, but isn't too picky about what you do. Very spontaneous, and instinctive--all do, no think. This means there isn’t really a strict ‘I’m dom your sub now’ approach to sex, you two just go with the flow. Sometimes it changes often in one encounter, other times it doesn’t change at all

◉ Bad habit of tearing your clothes off. He’s too excited, and of course he can buy you a new one, so why does it matter?

◉ If he’s blindfolding you, he has to wear his blindfold too; he just thinks it’s too funny. Pretends he can’t see & intentionally misses and feels around like a loser. “I can’t find your pussy!” in an awful Velma impression. God I hate him

◉ I’m sorry I can’t stop thinking of stupid scenarios in bed with him LMFAO

◉ Is a slut and sends you pics all the time, tho sometimes it’ll just be his balls at odd angles for funsies (I literally can’t stop I’m sorry)

◉ Very grope-y. You’ll just be minding your business when this lanky menace comes up behind you, and feels up all your soft parts. He just enjoys squeezing, and kneading anywhere you’re squishy

◉ Unfortunately, he is one of those types that will pinch your belly or love handles, intending it to be flirty. It makes you think he’s poking fun at you, at least in the early stages of your relationship. Eventually you accept he’s doing it because he likes touching you everywhere. I’d say he’ll be respectful and stop touching you, but I’m sorry I don’t think he would tbh 😭 this is why gege murked him

[myvampyrez]

id like to request a zack fair x reader... they're college roomates and zacks a total flirt and while reader denies it for funsies, after a really bad date with some frat boy, zack comforts her and she changes her mind?

micellar water 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

zack fair (ffvii) x fem!reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

hii!! i didnt really specify that they were in college or who it was that reader had a bad date with, this is kinda in zack’s pov and him just being super whipped for you!! this is probably like the longest fic i’ve made so far soo.. i hope you guys enjoy lol

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

mentions of crying, mentions of kissing (eww!! cooties!!), zack’s just super sweet but also super goofy— like he’s the dude to say ‘scruba dub dub’ in the shower type goofy, him waiting for reader and utterly being the ultimate retriever bf (or more so friends to lovers in this), lmk if i missed anything 💕

┊ ˚➶ word count ｡˚ 🎼

1789 words, 9782 characters

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

“woah, you look hot—!” you scoffed, hearing the grin in zack’s voice from behind you while he sat on the couch. you looked at yourself in the mirror, seeing how the sleek dress hugged your figure as you fixed your hair, curves shown on display.

you snickered as you watched zack stare at you, feigning awe with his jaw dropped low and a hand hovering over his mouth. “yeah, yeah. save it for later, i got somewhere to be.” you tsk’ed as your eyes flickered around the living room, searching for your shoes. walking down the hall, you shouted, “did you hide my shoes again, zack?”

a beat of silence passes before you zack’s guilty voice traveled from the living room into the hallway, “maybe.”

zack pouted as you made your way back, huffing as you spotted your pumps placed not-so-subtle-y under his sword. “maybe i just don’t want you going out with another asshole again.”

“he wasn’t that much of an asshole—“

“he smelled like it—“

with the glare you gave him, zack decided to shut up seeing the heel protectively clutched in your hand. sure, you went out with a lot of shitty guys, zack thought. but it was nothing you couldn’t ever handle before.

your face quickly shifted to a sly grin, standing upright as you primped once again, perfecting your look. “why, you jealous, zack?”

“no, just being the cool ultimate amazing friend that i always am.” he stated it so matter of fact like— when really, the word “friend” left his tongue rather thickly, the word almost dying at the back of his throat. he’d never tell you, he thought. he didn’t want to ruin what you both had with some stupid feelings of his own.

you let out an unconvincing, “sure, sure.”

zack surfed through the channels on the tv, sprawled out on the couch as he still felt his legs burn from the amount of squats he had done after training. he pressed his lips disappointedly at how the tv lacked any good shows before he heard you yelp, “shit! it’s eight—!”

tilting his head at your clambering, he sat there in bemusement as he watched you run out the door— until your head popped in one last time, “food, fridge, i’ll be back before midnight!”

but as the door shut in a hurry, zack leaned his head back against the arm of the sofa. the apartment was silent except for the low crackling volume of whatever crappy show played on tv. his chest rose and fell as he let out a big sigh, slumping against the couch as his eyes drifted towards the wall.

great, he was alone and his unceremonious attempts at hiding your shoes failed. he almost felt dissatisfied, why couldn’t you just see that he liked you? or better yet, why couldn’t he just admit he liked you so you could reject him and get over it? zack wore his heart on his sleeve, so why was it so difficult now?

one hour turned into two, and two into three. it took everything for zack just to keep himself occupied. he moved around the apartment restlessly— doing squats, watching shit tv, even trying so far as to try making a new dish. keyword: try.

after a whole day of pretty much doing nothing waiting for you to come home, he decided to just tire himself out enough to pass out on the couch, sleep being his last resort. he lolled his head on the arm of the couch, resting it in the dent left from the hours before. zack took one last look at the clock as it read eleven o’clock. letting out a sigh, he closed his eyes while shifting on the small sofa trying to get comfortable. nothing much better to do when waiting then take a nap to speed up the process, yeah?

but when zack jolted awake at the sound of the door slamming, he sat upright while his eyes searched the room. not even having time to rub the sleep from his eyes, he looked around.

now dark with only the tv as his light source, the clock on the wall now read twelve o’five and your heels were now carelessly thrown against the door. zack turned his head towards the new source of light and was met with the bright luminescent rays of the bathroom accompanied with your silhouette in the doorway. and at first glance, zack would’ve brushed it off as you just being lazy— but his thoughts changed when he heard the wet sniffles and broken sighs, his ears perked up.

his back hit the cold air once he got up, leaving the warmth of the couch and making his way over to the lit bathroom. mako tinted eyes adjusted to the light as they settled on your blurry figure, hunched over the sink with eyeliner smudged across your eye while you tried to catch your breath— and that woke him up real quick.

“zack—!” you said, and god, did your shaky voice make his heart ache. his body reacted on its own accord, arms immediately reaching out towards you and embracing you. zack put one hand on the back of your head as your body shook with silent sobs. he could feel the tears starting to stain his shirt, one of his favorites although that didn’t seem to matter now that he didn’t mind it being coated with your sorrow.

he heard a small voice next to his ear, wavering as you tried maintain your composure as you said, “i’m sorry i woke you up.” with a comforting hand on his back, you rubbed at the trail of his spine, unknowing that zack’s eyebrows were knit together with a strong bewilderment— you’re over here crying, and you’re apologizing over waking him up?

“don’t say that.” he told you, and you could’ve sworn his arms locked around you tighter. trying to lighten the mood, he gives a weary chuckle, “i needed to wake up anyways.”

you didn’t laugh though, simply soaking in the affection brought upon you until he finally pulled away. the hand that kept you at arms length squeezed your shoulder while you sniffled and wiped under your eyes. “‘m glad i wore waterproof mascara, today.”

his lips twitched downwards, watching as you made a weak attempt to brush his concern off. “what happened tonight?”

and that seemed to make you cry even harder, making zack curse himself as his eyes widened. “okay—! okay! don’t answer—don’t answer that!” he stammered, trying in a desperate attempt to get you to stop crying. he didn’t know why he’d even ask that to a person who was currently sobbing and probably needed space?

“here, just..”

a loud yelp left your lips once you felt zack’s hands lift you up from the underside of your thighs and place you on the bathroom counter, the cold ceramic a deep contrast against the warmth of your skin.

you let yourself settle as you watched zack rummage through the wooden drawers of the sink, grumbling something along the lines of, “where’s that stupid water..?”

you cleared your throat, “what water?”

“the stupid water you use when you have the waterproof thingy on.”

“..micellar water?”

“yes! that—!” he pointed his finger at you in agreement, watching as you leaned over and opened the first drawer and pointed out the small clear tub of the product. he looked around in search of something— before letting out a small, “aha!” sound once he found a small towel. you softly grinned as you watched him douse the rag in a copious amount of

makeup remover, not even bothering to wring it out before turning towards you with a triumphant grin.

you closed your eyes, relishing in the feeling of his calloused hands— gentle under your chin while the other one wiped the makeup off your face. he made sure to softly pat your eyes, making sure to try and rid all the mascara off your lashes as best as he could without being too rough.

“y’see? i told you i was the coolest awesomest friend ever, didn’t i?” zack finally said. even with his teasing grin, his tone remained uncharacteristically soft.

“‘cool ultimate amazing friend’.” you corrected him, the corners of your lips quirking upwards while you talked. zack was lucky you couldn’t see his smile right now, just happy to admire yours in the dim white lighting of the bathroom. “right.” he said, nodding his head as if you could see him now.

he set the towel down as he examined your eyes, making sure he got all the makeup off. fluttering your eyes open, you gazed back at zack. in any other scenario, he would’ve brushed his staring off and used the makeup as an excuse— but really, even with your puffy eyes and swollen lips, and even in the cheap apartment complex lighting, he’d still think you’re beautiful. maybe the dingy details of the bathroom and the close proximity made it more intimate than needed.

leaning forward, your eyes flickered between his lips and his eyes, ensuring that he wanted the same thing as you. and when he had met you in the middle, bridging the gap between your parted lips with his own, it’s like a wave of coolness washed over his body. your hands came up to rest upon his jaw while he thought to himself; this was all he ever wanted, his dream girl right in front of him let alone kissing him.

sighing, you pulled away for a moment— hands still rested on his face. his eyes held nothing but adoration for you when he gazed up at you, the small height difference causing his eyes to look even more ethereal in the light, swirls of mako and the overhead bulbs evident in his dazed eyes. he only chased your lips for a split second before you let out a small laugh and a sniffle. he wasn’t just a ‘rebound’, you thought to yourself, zack fair was a man worth much, much more.

he closed his eyes and leaned in for one more kiss, hand on the back of your head as it buried itself in your hair, but not before mumbling against your lips a quick, “am i still the most ultimate awesomest friend ever?”

you grinned, “do you wanna be?”

“you’re over here sat on the counter kissing your ‘cool ultimate friend’—“

“‘cool ultimate amazing friend’—“

zack pouted, tilting his head before you leaned in for another kiss, removing the dramatic curve of his lips. you groaned in exasperation once he pulled away again, he was just teasing at this point, wasn’t he?—

“i think cool ultimate amazing boyfriend sounds better.” he grinned cheekily.

[fractualized]

Alright. Let's break down this "oh" of an ending. NEGATIVE NANCY, COMING THROUGH

Spoilers, ho!

Ending a story is hard, if they're long or short. Whether you wrap up key threads or leave them open, you want some kind of takeaway that puts a period on things. Even in comics, where we know these characters will go on and on, ideally a story will end in a way that just... fits. Even amateur fic writers have loads of WIPs just sitting there because exactly how to end this damn thing eludes them.

I don't know if Rosenberg had an ending in mind when he started The Man Who Stopped Laughing. I don't know if he decided he'd figure it out by the end of it's year-long run. I don't know if DC Editorial lets people do that; it sounds insane, but if you've been paying attention to their current level of editorial "oversight," which I imagine is supposed to make concurrent titles mesh together reasonably well, I wouldn't be shocked if they let people wing it. Or, more likely, perhaps DC Editorial swooped in and made Rosenberg change the ending he had planned and that's why the result falls flat.

In any case, after 11 issues of enjoying myself, I'm left feeling deflated.

But let's start where #12 does, with the Joker who's been told he's John Keyser, a toxin'd henchmen that the real Joker made into a doppelganger for funsies. He approaches a hotdog vendor.

I'm stuck on "Hello. I've been looking for you"?? I didn't catch that on my first read. Joker has a favorite hotdog vendor? lol

Shut up, Waffles!! All we have is your word for it!!

In any case, hey, Keyser Joker has already been Jokering this long, so yeah, why not keep going? And why not with help from poor woobie Jason, fresh from nearly getting himself killed in Gotham War?

Bruce did not fix Jason at the end of Gotham War, so his adrenaline is still triggering fear in his brain. But Keyser Joker has a solution for that!

It's a tiny dose of Joker toxin to take the edge off of Bruce's programming. Joker makes a point of saying that the effects are only temporary, though. (And like, I assume this is just the quick-fix solution Rosenberg came up with to pull off his own ending when told Bruce's plans for Jason over in the other titles.) Jason is skeptical of this "help," naturally, but Keyser Joker brings up their matching interest: getting rid of the other Joker.

Jason, why you gotta ruin Albert's good time? 🙄

Cut to Red Hood dragging a clown henchman through the streets of Gotham.

But "his" face being blacked out and some of the dialogue clue the reader in: things aren't what they seem.

DERAIL TIME: what is up with this batmobile?

Like from some other angles, it looks sportier, but in most of the panels it looks like an old Buick? lol ANYWAY.

With the flaily way this person jumps off the bike and runs, I was sure that this was Keyser Joker and we might see Batman interact with him. Alas.

It's Ravager, who survived last issue's explosion. She's helping Jason 1) distract Batman and 2) get Albert out of harm's way, far from Keyser Joker's plan.

Naturally Keyser Joker is planning something more destructive than he's led Jason to believe. Also like…

The idea that Keyser Joker really is this John guy, not the real deal, is still not sitting fucking right with me. Seeing him here in another costume, with a goofy death train with mismatched eyes just like his, it feels like a signal that he actually is Joker and Waffles is either lying or mistaken somehow. Like compared to the other Joker, who we haven't seen in a costume? Who left Gotham for weird reasons? I really thought there was going to be a reverse reveal.

And since it doesn't come, I guess it's a good time to mention that! There is no reverse reveal of who the real Joker is. Things get a little muddy later, but…. hrm. HRM.

That said, the other Joker does something pretty dang Jokery: he shows up in a dirigible with his face on it.

Killer Moth and a bunch of clown goons (that aren't supposed to be available because of Gotham War but WHATEVER) attach the dirigible to the train and it's pretty chaotic!

I love when villains are like, "Look I may kill people, but an endangered gorilla?! Get outta here!" 😂

Jason also arrives in style.

I guess he was observing Ravager's distraction?? Which feels like it defeats part of the purpose of having her do the distraction. But then he couldn't have this cool entrance in which he bludgeons people with a motorcycle. Trade offs!

Meanwhile, Real Joker makes it to the front of the train to confront Keyser Joker. One of Real's goons offers to shoot Keyser, but Real Joker wants to make this personal and kills the poor hench so he can do it himself.

Jason coming in like YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH 😎

Then he gets the bad news.

Keyser is as casually suicidal as your average Joker! Also "Real" Joker never acknowledges Red Hood's identity, afaik. It's always Keyser Joker. Details like this got me thinking that reverse reveal was coming, AND YET.

That aside, next comes a fun comedy beat.

Real Joker going right for the hair!

Jason isn't going to let this be the end of it, of course, and once again Killer Moth must suffer at his hands.

Jason shoots so many clowns. Just never the one he wants. 😞

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaait wait wait. You're telling me that Bruce knew about the imminent TWO JOKERS situation. But he decided to prioritize a report of Red Hood dragging a clown through the streets. When in the same breath he's saying there are other people coming to the scene with him, so he obviously could've sent someone else? On the same day Batman #139 is like "oooh Bruce is totally onto Joker now"? This is what you're telling me?? Augh.

Well, we can't rely on Batman right now, clearly, so it's up to Jason.

Meanwhile, Keyser Joker has told the other one that he actually does have a secret way off the runaway train safely. After they fight some more, the tune starts to change.

Alright so, this "deal," which would sort of start them back at square one, doesn't bother me because obviously it's on shaky-ass ground and one of them is definitely killing the other before this issue is over. What does bug me is the "franchising" line, for two reasons:

1) Is this supposed to imply that Real Joker is the one who was behind Joker Incorporated in the Batman Incorporated issues, not a third one?

2) I was just SO SURE it was another indication we were getting a reverse reveal. Joker absolutely does not love the franchising idea. That's kind of been the point of this whole series. The genuine Joker in Keyser Joker's hallucination/memory said that having two Jokers around is stupid. HRRRRMMM.

Anyhow, they leave the train together, though the escape plan is literally just jumping off, which has more issues than they bargained for.

So do you think, assuming the Gotham War writers actually communicated at least a little, that Zdarsky asked Rosenberg what he needed Jason for at the end of TMWSL, and Rosenberg was like, "oh I need him to heroically crash a toxic blimp and almost die?" And then Zdarsky was like, "er, I need him to heroically fly a plane into a magic meteor and almost die?" And then they just shrugged and closed the Zoom?

But yeah, the blimp crashes, and I'm sort of confused because I thought that earlier Bruce was saying that even if the toxin gets into the water, it'll still make it's way to the city. So for one thing, it's still exploding in the air and it's still gonna drift. And the parts that dissolve in water are still gonna drift. There's a part to the equation missing here.

But these two are just thrilled at the excitement.

Until the sudden yet inevitable betrayal.

BUT WHO WAS JOKE

Shortly after this, Ravager shows up with Manhunter, who also survived last issue's explosion. (It just doesn't come up at all. Like it doesn't have to, I guess, but it's just weird that there's not a word or wound about it.) Ravager dives into the water looking for Jason, because she instinctually knows he did something grand and dumb. She finds him among the clown bodies and brings him to shore.

Nothing can kill this man! He came back from the dead with nine lives! And also maybe that Lazarus resin from TFZ is still helping, I dunno.

Elsewhere along the shore, what's left of both Jokers' crews find themselves waiting in the same spot for the Joker they expect to be triumphant.

You know what. I'm soured on Waffles now. Leave him.

And then, from the water…

And that's it. That's how it ends. With a sort of snide cop-out?

Like, it's Joker's POV, so yeah, you could say the dickish tone is just him. But following this story for a year, and then seeing it end with simply the old "you'll never know which Joker prevailed," it doesn't feel clever or whatever this is going for. It just feels obnoxious.

Honestly, it feels like the same takeaway as freaking Three Jokers. 😐 That it doesn't matter who Joker is. All the lead-up to this, where maybe we get a tiny bit of depth and development, even if just in this story, eh. Doesn't matter! We're ending this with blah payoff.

On the other hand, the part of about about there being more questions, about this ending not being tidy, makes me think that this is leaving open the possibility that Keyser Joker actually was the real one. After all, we don't get a flashback to the actual events. The events we see are part of a hallucination, and Keyser never said he had clear memories of being the real or the fake one. He just went from assuming he was the real one to taking Waffles' word for it that he was the henchman.

Also, Keyser Joker was always the Joker giving narration. And the narration boxes for the Final Joker at the end remain in his style. So it seems like we actually have a huge indication of which Joker prevailed-- unless we're meant to assume that if the other Joker prevailed, he merely took over the narration.

I mean, this is what we have. So if I can just choose what I want to believe, I'm going to believe both that Keyser was actually the real guy and that he won. But it puts a real sour taste in my mouth to be super engaged with a story and wanting an ending that says something about Joker's character… and the ending is just that one murders the other and you don't know who, neener neener. It's anticlimactic. It's a predictable direction that I thought SURELY Rosenberg wouldn't go in. It feels like a dick move.

And... what else is there to say? So ends my year of consistently buying a comic, I guess. Nothing else has really grabbed me like TMWSL did, though City of Madness looks promising. After the multiverse and Gotham War stuff, I'm not about to start picking up Zdarsky's Batman. #139 had plenty I should enjoy, but it's soured by Zdarsky deciding to bring a canonical take to the three Jokers concept for some ungodly reason.

A new three Jokers take feels extra stupid after a year of a story about two Jokers. And the second Joker in TMWSL isn't even taken into account in Zdarsky's story. Based off that #135 scene, it really looks like he's going to say that Darwin Halliday accidentally copied TKJ Joker somehow. lmao Why. Why do we have to do this. Why can't this just be one of the things that gets retconned away. I just want my murderclown to be fun.

I need to get back to my list of unread older comics. Or read One Operation Joker! I didn't think I was interested, but I think a random goofy premise is actually just what I need.

[chuuyascumsock]

Helloooo

That rat reaction pic was both adorable and had me laughing my ass offf(my sense of humor is lowkey highkey kinda broken so apologies 😭)

ALSO

ME??? A MONSTERFUCKER??????HUH?? THAT SOUNDS DEPLORABLE! But youre right so anyway- (kinda actually saw a monsterfucker bingo and did it{yknow just for funsies and shi} and like i ticked off 10 of the 24 boxes? i mean i think thats enough to qualify??? Right??)

okie soo umm i kinda waited too long to type out the thoughts and they um *disssipated* so immm kinda gonna string together the crumbs i still remember🥲

(Also like to clarify when i say werewolf,i kinda mean like the something between like that one halloween official art and atsushi when he’s in his weretiger form?)

Imagine werewolf chuuya who just cant keep his hands off you when he’s in heat,he just NEEDS you,CARNALLY

While you’re cooking dinner he’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around you,nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck,lightly nibbling on your skin and just slightly grinding his crotch into your ass.

After a while you can feel his hard on and how hes desperately trying to hold himself back.

so you do the only sensible thing you can think of~

You turn around and kiss him~

You have no idea how it escalated from a passionate kiss to this,but now he has you bent over the kitchen island,your underwear discarded and forgotten while he frees his hard cock from his now-tight pants.he coats his dick in lube and precum before he thrusts into your rear,(although he’d love to go right at it,he knows your only human and would never want to hurt you) going at an inhuman speed and illicitting the most lewd little sounds for you~

His claws sinking into your hips to hold you in one place,all the while he’s letting out breathy “good girl/boy” and “that’s it take it hnghh you take me so good doll” s as he ruts into your ass.as he feels his climax nearing he goes harder and deeper his throbbing cock continuously hitting your g-spot causing you you whine and moan out loud,all which makes him go harder,the feeling of your tight little hole driving him over the edge and when he finally comes its thick sticky and he doesn’t let a single drop seep out.he continues rutting into you,fuckin his come back into you while keeping you locked in a mating press.after around two to three more rounds(now having moved to the bedroom) he slows down and makes sure your okay.he loves to see the fucked out look on your face as he cleans you up and as he sees your silly little hole white and glazy with his come he has to resist the urge to plug you up and let you stay that way until your next session,but if youve previously said your okay with it he’s definitely gonna do it-

Once your tucked in all nice clean (and *cough*plugged up) he gets into bed as well spooning you and lightly licking the bites and hickey now covering your neck and collarbone.

(I wanna add some more but i think this is already long enough.i hope this makes sense and sounds coherent at least,i think i got a little lost in the sauce🥲)

Also yess i saw that voyeurism tag👀👀👀 (got me wet just thinking about it🫣)

Ooh and also of smut,fluff,angst and crack,What’s your favorite??

And bestie(am i allowed to call you that?) im like 99.99% your irl personality is just as great as your online one🙄🤚

That isnt debatable btw🫶

I speak facts not fiction 😌

Well except for the smut,that’s fictional-

ACTUALLY NO FRICK IT THATS FACTS TOO!🙌

And to end this silly,goofy and unreasonably long ask id just like to wish you a lovely day/afternoon/evening/night filled with snackies,dopamine-inducing events and a lot of,as you said, H2hoe!

Stay safe and slay safe😌💅🏻

(Help its 4.50 am😭🥲)

-🧀

YOU DID, YOU DID GET LOST IN THE SAUCE, YOU WERE DROWNING IN IT 😭 BUT IT WAS GOOD SAUCE, DELICIOUS SAUCE EVEN. (Fr made me choke on my mango and everything while reading).

Glad you specified that you didn’t mean Chuuya like full furry mode or that would’ve been awky 💀

Literally Chuuya— but THAT WAS SO GOOD ACTUALLY. I can’t believe you wrote almost a full smutshot in my inbox, you should rlly write this down and post your own smut LMAO.

I forgot to add something to my Detective Chuuya summary, but it’s ok, I fixed it 🤭

My favorite genre is crack, I feel like I write top tier crack ngl, my Ai chats also look insane with all the silly stuff I do with the characters (literally mostly Dazai bc I kin him so doing platonically silly shit w/ him is my comfort).

AND YES YOU CAN CALL ME BESTIE— I feel like we’re definitely past that 😈 But I will have to deny my irl personality being just as good as my online one because I am socially inept 🥰

ALSO GET SOME SLEEP BESTIE CAUSE THAT’S SUPER IMPORTANT (I’m a hypocrite). BUT EAT A GOOD BREAKFAST AND FUCK UP THOSE CLASSES 💪😼

[life-in-toontown]

That last reblog just made me wanna clarify that I absolutely hate 90% of Disney’s direct-to-video sequels but I do still like Lion King 2, despite having several issues with it.

I admit maybe this is just because I’ve been so deep into the Lion King fandom since I was a kid that disliking TLK 2 despite having so many problems either it just feels impossible lmao.

As for the problems, well first off there’s the one mentioned in the last reblog about how Scar having an heir that isn’t biologically related to him wouldn’t benefit him, but of course you can’t make him Scar’s bio son because that would make Kiara his cousin which means instead of their Love Song being “Upendi” it would instead be “Sweet Home Alabama”.

Also, where did Zira and the Outsiders come from? Yes you could say they were just background lionesses in Mufasa’s pride that remained loyal to Scar but then why weren’t they helping protect Scar once Simba came back and challenged him for the throne? I know the answer is “because the sequel wasn’t planned yet and they were worked on by two separate teams” but STILL, if you’re a person who completely accepts everything in TLK 2 as canon then it’s kinda hard to explain this one.

Also since Scar isn’t Kovu’s father then who is? And when did Zira have time to meet a male lion, mate with him then show her cub to Scar to convince him to let him become his heir? And what about Nuka and Vitani? I have seen a theory that Vitani is actually NALA’S daughter with the implication that the scene where Scar tries to seduce her (which was cut from the movie but used in the Broadway show) had a more horrific ending where Scar impregnated her and somehow Zira ended up adopting her. And while I do love that as a “what if” AU, I don’t consider it canon myself.

Now I’m gonna leave the massive plot holes for now and focus on little character pet peeves that annoyed me:

First of all, Timon and Pumbaa weren’t funny at all in this one. Like they’re one of Disney’s most iconic gay couples comedy duos but they were so “meh” in this. One time I did a screenshot redraw of them to resemble the art style from the first movie and in the description I added a rewrite of ways they could’ve been used better which I’ll link here just for funsies:

And now onto Nala. She was a strong character in the first film, leaving her home by herself to look get help, wasn’t afraid to call Simba out for refusing to go back to Pride Rock, plus she helped fight off the hyenas with the other lionesses. In the sequel? Well she popped a baby out which means now her only character trait is Supportive Wife and Mom. She only showed up to occasionally say “Hey Simba, chill out man, Kiara’s totally gonna be fine, stop worrying” then leave. Yes I know this was a father/daughter story but that doesn’t mean Nala has to be reduced to a robot that’s only capable of repeating phrases letting Simba know things will be fine.

And lastly maybe this one is just me, but I kinda wish Nuka as a tragic character was portrayed more. Yes I know his death scene was absolutely heartbreaking and yes you can tell he was jealous of Kovu getting his mother’s love but he was mainly just goofy comic relief. And I actually don’t mind him having funny moments but idk, I wish the tragic side of him was explored more before his death scene. Idk, maybe this one’s just me lmao.

So after all this you’re probably thinking “Wow are you sure you like Lion King 2? It sounds like you hate everything about it”

And like…I mean…I do but…can’t I also fantasize about how it could be better??

[weirdgirl92]

RANDOM CUPHEAD HEADCANON DUMP!

((Was gonna put that down as a header, but since my internet’s kinda slow today, and Tumblr won’t let me use headers right now, I had to type it like that…))

Anyway, since this looks like a great place for posting Cuphead headcanons, I thought I’d put mine out here for funsies, starting with my favorite character…

Little disclaimer on this one: Part of my headcanon for The Devil here sort of involves a demonic dad and demonic siblings, kinda like that Infernal Family AU made by @retroferno. Now, before you start calling me a plagiarizer, I want to let you all know that I’ve had this sort of “Seven Princes of Hell” idea in my head for Cuphead’s Devil LONG before coming across that AU. My version still has a lot of key differences, as you’ll soon find out. I’m not trying to insult retroferno here by any means. They’re a great Cuphead artist, and you should totally follow them. I’m just letting you all know what to expect in this post, so that I don’t start accidentally raising any plagiarism suspicions on here.

So, with all that said, here’s my cringy ass headcanons! :D

The reason why The Devil’s always so full of himself, is due to a CRAZY amount of low self-esteem for being the smallest of seven demon brothers, which would prompt his older bros to mock and give him degrading nicknames, like “Little Luci” or “The Runt”.

His father is Apollyon, the demon of destruction and King of the Abyss (and a fallen angel, who split himself into 7 more smaller demons when thrown from Heaven, which, in my mind, was how The Devil and his brothers were “born”). Unfortunately, he never thought too highly of Luci either, since his smaller stature made him very weak compared to his brothers. This just made him see Luci as a lost cause and a disgrace.

Before Luci became the devil of Inkwell Isles, his brothers were each given their own “underworld” to rule on Earth, when they all came of age (Leviathan had the oceans, Maymun had the gold mines, Belial had the volcanic areas, etc.)

Luci, not wanting to be left out any longer, begged Apollyon to send him to Earth, so that he could find his own underworld to rule and prove he’s not a weakling. Apollyon would only begrudgingly agree to this, not because he cared about Luci, but because he wanted to get rid of him for good, and assumed that he wouldn’t survive that long up there anyway.

Now, for Henchmen, he didn’t get along that well with The Devil when they first met. In addition to having access to Earth, and their own underworlds to rule, The Devil and his brothers were each given their own henchman demon as a “coming of age gift” (think of it like the pearls and the diamonds in Steven Universe). All the older brothers got a henchman that perfectly matched their personality; but The Devil (Luci), being the last one to receive any kind of gift from his father, was stuck with a henchman that was the exact opposite of him in almost every way. Needless to say, Luci wasn’t very happy about that.

One day, while exploring Inkwell Isles for the first time, Luci got so fed up with Henchman’s goofy antics and constant cheerfulness, that he screamed at him, saying he’d wish his father never paired him up with a “useless fat dope”. And through tearful sobs, Henchman replies with “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be useless! I just want to make you proud!”, which makes Luci come to a full realization that he’d use to say those exact words to his father whenever HE screwed something up. This is basically my theory on why The Devil is often so much more patient with Henchman, compared to his other minions.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…

Okay, so this is gonna sound REALLY corny and cliché, but…I like to believe that King Dice started out as an orphan with big dreams of becoming the greatest musician, radio host, and entertainer in all the Inkwell Isles; and once he reached the age of 12, he felt like his talents were being wasted in the orphanage. So he ran away, became a pickpocket, and eventually met young Devil and young Henchman along the way (I’m one of those people who likes to view Dice and The Devil as childhood friends).

King Dice was also the one who introduced The Devil to earthly wonders like money, carnivals, jazz, casinos, and of course, cake.

[penguin--person]

Beastnoch and vastgiver for the bingo please?

i dont know beastnoch as well as you do sire but i adore them!! esp your spin on them!!! ougg i really ought to read more of your fics sometime..!!! to me theyre like. silly. and goofy. ands illy.. so goofy... thyere so. messed up. but swag i think... i KNOW... so swag..

ive already done vastgiver But. you dont know them... not truly... so ill tell you about them!!:D u dont have to read this ramble of mine ofc, but, i wanted to talk about them with someone again and You said the word vastgiver to me so You get to unleash the horrors!!! it will be very ramble-y and incoherent hehe

vastgiver is my oc third vast attempt x my friend's oc lifegiver, hehe, both are iterators (rain world robots).. silly guys.. getting derailed already but. how wild is it that weve just!! been existing together for such a time!! like three years?? idk but. weve known each other for such a time!! n youve known fousek for that long as well... my boy fousek... Our boy fousek... wild tome...

so! vastgiver. tva, my beloved asshole tva, and lifegiver talked one time before meeting puppet to puppet. it was just your normal chat, asking about how lifegivers doing and what his whole deal is. a budding friendship, perhaps..? WRONG. tva then tried to kill his local group (comprised of two other iterator ocs of mine) (bg gave him access to their security systems, for reasons that would take long ot explain, which if youre interested in i would tell you but this is a vastgiver post hehe, and, then once tva had that access, he turned off their water supply, for funsies! bg and ui share their can), who then sent out an emergency broadcast all 'AHH HELP WERE BEING KILLED' and of course many iterators heard that. two other iterators from my friends went over to ui and bgs can to help them, and one other friend's oc went over to tva's can to laugh at him. and then lifegiver.

lifegiver made his presence very much known. he started drilling through tva's can with a gigantic mechanical beast, which is like, imagine someone drilling through you. imagine meeting your partner like that. lifey was especially mad because tva's doings reminded him of a personal experience he had with his local group.

he was soo angry, and, eventually, drilled his way into tva's chamber (where his puppet/body resides). he came out of his beast, yelled at tva and my other friends oc (who he was also angry at bc vivi wasnt helping at all and was rather annoying) a bit and then STABBED tva through the head!!! imapled him!!! and then tva umm. hehe. the first bud of their romance sprouted

'Itd be super hot if we kissed right now' my guy theres blood all over you and lifey is gonna for sure stab you again. tvas thought process was 'hey if hes gonna kil me i can at least make him feel as uncomfortable as possible' . anyway. this startled lifey. he didn't expect this, naturally.

'Your poncho is quite fashionable' yea sure tva whatever just die already. then lifey says 'you disgust me so much i hate you just fucking die id kill you right now i will kill you' . and at this point tva was so intrigued by lifey that he said, hey, if you let me live i'll umm not kill those two! how does that sound . and ofc lifey said Yes. so 👍they tva used this as a way to convince lifey to stay and talk with him a bit. and they talk. not about feelings but like, how cool and swag lifegiver is, tva praises him a whole bunch . n then tva is like Hey my can will collapse anyway from the damage youve done lol, and lifey fucking!!! says that his friend could fix him!!! like tva is just like 'ohhhh youre so swag and a hot babe youre so swag' and lifey already starts to get feelings for him . hilarious to me. of course this meant nothing to tva in the moment. then, uh oh, tva has lost too much blood! lifey goes over to him n just, holds him and chats with him as this puppet of his dies, ea comes and is like Hey i stole your fucking ball idiot. and tva goes nooo not my ball!! and dies. and lifey is sad about it.. holds his puppet so gently.. then ofc tva had other puppets prepared, so, he just woke up in another one, went back to lifey, hung out with him some more, their bond deepened, lifey even fuckinggg said 'i love you' !!!! im not kididng you.. tva calls lifey all kinds of silly nicknames, one of them being 'lifey wifey' which makes lifey almost as mad as he was when threatening to kill him. n then they nap for two cycles and lifey has to leave.

and then umm. 👍well tva's can falls . he sends out a broadcast which is him going FUCK THIS SUCKS. LIFEY HELP n lifey Does help he comes over to the wreckage of his can and ressurects him and tva realizes, oh, this loser really does love me, huh. n cries and sobs and they hug and hehe lifey takes her to his can:3 so that she'd be safe from danger .. then they go on a silly little date where they KISSY

they KISSY!!! and tva also met lifeys little brother.. n before that she also met some of his slugs, which lifey introduced tva to as his 'mate' bc he didnt know how else to, bc that was the only yword the slugs iunderstood, and hee theyre so silly tva was teasing him so much the whole time even before that. this is al happening in like the span of 30 cycles btw. which is, like 30 days, say. can oyu believe this.

after that umm they go back home and lifey says that hes prepared a room for tva in his city and tva says he'll find it himself and hes like Fuck Fuck Fuck this guy really cares for me Fuck so he goes and rips out a part of his core.👍gives himself a little ol lobotomy... to forget he ever did anything wrong.. lifeys overseer sees but doesnt act immediatly. tva has a litlte ol nap.

and man i really like what comes next. so. lifey after a few cycles goes and cuddles with tva, tells him ohh i love you so much. and he knows what tva did t this point, or suspects, at least. and tva is sooo happy. n then lifey touches his ribcage and notices its been opened n is like. hey did you open your ribcage. and tva goes haha no. n lifey displays the overseer photos and goes what the fuck is this then. huh. complete shift in tone. i love him. umm then they fight🧡this small arc ends with lifey getting tva another core.

then uhh . um. hehe. uhh. they fight bc its revealed to the publc that lifey saved tva. and lifey is upset about this ofc. and tva comes to visit him, they fight, lthey both ell a bunch ateach other, tva storms out but then storms back in n shows his core and yells If you really hate me that much then just destroy my core and kill me!! and umm . lifey damages his own puppet severely👍tva manages to fix him . n umm . stuff happens, lifey gets sad and tva proposes to make him feel better. were at 60 cycles at most here, dude. two months.

lifye says yes and!! thast whats happening in the rp rn:D!!! tvheyre getting married!!!! dude theyre getting married!!! in the middle of the vwedding tva just. fucking. fucked it up. "hey what if you wanna divorce me later. what if i kill again. what if i told you i liked killing them. haha jk. unless." but theyve resolved it👍

believe it or not but this isnt all of their lore, just the significant events id say

[batthrashed]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

name: Lee

nickname: Don’t really have one

Faceclaim: I don’t have a faceclaim for myself.

Pronouns: He/Him

Height: 155.448 cm >:(

Birthday: January 16th

Aesthetic: Gothy metalhead who sometimes likes a pop of color

Last song you listened to: Ghost- Cirice

Favorite muse(s) you've written: I adore Steve - I feel like we’re often on the same wavelength, and he’s just comfortable to play. I love Casanova, too, but he’s hard to pin down sometimes.

Favorite color(s): Teal and red

Currently reading/listening to: Re-reading The Hobbit, just for funsies.

Last Series: Stranger Things (again)

Last Movie: The Thing

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet

Currently working on: An art commission for a friend

GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT

what inspired you to take on this muse?: I’ve loved Stranger Things since its inception, and something about Steve always grabbed my attention, even from the very beginning. Seeing him grow, and change as a character over the seasons made me itch to play him, and now I am!

What are your favorite aspects of your current muse?: His ability to adapt when he needs to, his honesty, and his absolute loyalty to the ones he loves. I also love that no matter how he tries to play it off, Steve Harrington is, without a doubt, one of the biggest dorks in the world.

Who is your current fc?: The lovely Joe Keery.

What's your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing?: Music and my rp partners, every time. I love building a story with another person from the ground up.

Favorite types of threads?: Threads where Steve can let that goofy side of him loose a little, or the ones where he can indulge in his need to romance someone who would appreciate it.

Tagged by: @heretoboogie @puppetoffthehook @hellfireconcert

Tagging: Anybody who wants to do the thing, but hasn’t yet! I can’t imagine there’s anybody left, I was gone for a while, hhh...

[red-tree]

PART 7 PART 6 PART 5 PART 4 PART 3 PART 2 of my insanity PART 1 That goofy face oh my lord

(don't go into super deep analysis pleas don't go, it's just for funsies no) OMG ZOOLANDER!!!!

wth why are there SO many people?? New yorkers have nothing better to do I see can't blame them, if any zoo animals would go out like that, I would also visit this zoo as much as possible

the monkey fell down in the background and ofc the penguins!! fan favourite they are very cool

I wonder would have Marty tried to escape if it weren't the penguins who gave him this idea I think he wouldn't, he was very surprised to the thought that you can ACTUALLY try to escape and wander off, he wasn't even considering this so..blame the penguins??

that slap was personal

This is fun btw don't litter please

I really love the design for this zoo I wonder if the real central zoo is like this

oh no rock star treatment??? with flowers, staff and such thanks dreamworks for gazlighting children that zoos are THIS fun

little tongue out oooo so cute!!! btw why are so many people in the crowd wear black sunglasses I wonder if it's because of technical limitations of the time

workers singing a little jingle is a nice detail and OFC we know NO zoo can afford this treatment for animals sadly

first rectal thermometer ofc but what people usually miss is that "I'll miss this bad boy" I like how Melman has a little of unhinged hidden

the happy birthday song is golden I now send this bit to everyone who is having a birthday they worked on it the whole week!!! squad goals

I also love how after that one of the monkeys smells itself and then falls down comedy

Poor Melman But I'll be lying saying I wasn't laughing my ass off with that one

"the penguins are psychotic" I love how they acknowledge this themselves

to be fair it's the penguins who gave Marty the idea to leave, but Melman gave the exact instructions how to do this, so

I like how it's stated from this early that Alex has no idea where the steaks come from and looks like nobody has ever questioned it (and as we learn later it was true)

"You ever thought there might be more to life than steak?" ohhh the placing for the character arc alright let's go

cool trick!!

Let's appreciate Gloria' big sister role in the group She is a queen I like how she threatens Alex

this mane is too cool to be ruined with water Also I don't think they had the technical possibilities for it But they made it into nice joke! make your limitations work for you

TA TA TARARA TA TA TARARA START SPREADING THE NEEEWS SSS SAAh! I AM LEAVING TODAAAYY YYYY

The screaming, sounds of the sirens and cars always get me they are SO accustomed to the city

he is so insecure about it oh nooo

that face

the water droplets!!!

he did for real called 911

I think we understimate Alex's strength

Stripes!!!

[stardew-mermaid]

im WEAK for my faves as parents and i know lots of y'all are too so here are

bachelors as dads vibes

(bachelorettes as moms will come soon too ❤️ under cut cause it got very long lol)

sebastian

a chill dad. when u were very little he'd let u sit in his lap while he codes and consequently u find heavy metal soothing cause he would be playing it while he works and u would always fall asleep against him

if he wasn't using his second computer u could play around on it while he works. 'existing in each other's company while u both do stuff' time becomes a regular thing even as u get older, u would do ur homework next to him at his desk and he'd help if u were confused

the first time u were deemed old enough to go for a ride on his motorcycle u were SO fucking hyped even if u had to be absolutely decked out in protective gear. sometimes while u were in high school he'd help you flex by picking you up/dropping you off on the bike

would bundle u up in his hoodies as a toddler and there's a few pics of u absolutely SWIMMING in them with the hood all the way over ur face pretending to be the grim reaper. he'd never been so proud

elliott

an eloquent dad, but still has goofy dadlike tendencies. he may be the picture of a dark academia dilf with his slacks and button ups sipping coffee in the morning over a manuscript, but he'll still make the jokes. calls u things like little one and taught u to play piano

he got u ur own little bookshelf for all ur baby books and he'd read to you every single night without fail. he'd make up stories too and u would help and make a collab tho it often got u more excited than relaxed for bed but it was worth it!!! when u were grown up u helped him compile the short stories u made up together and published it. he'd also share with u poems he wrote for you and about you over the years, lots of them to do with the wonder of watching a whole tiny person grow into a big person

would always take u on nature walks and play at the beach!!! u would find shells and rocks to give to him and he'd always look like u just handed him pure gold

u made a pact that u would sit still for him while he did ur hair if u could braid his hair in turn. u both looked very stylish

sam

cool dad!!! fun dad!!!! watches anime with u when u get into it and is forever ur player 2. if u had a skateboard or a scooter he'd always show u up by pulling off sick tricks and it became a friendly rivalry. taught u to stick it to the man at a very early age. teaches u to play guitar and took u to ur first rock concert when u were like 8

there are baby photos of u wearing sunglasses that cover half ur face and when asked about it he'd say 'u were just a rly cool baby!!!!' in some of them he's wearing matching sunglasses and carrying u in one of those front baby pouches. he'd also always sing to you as a baby and still does it idly sometimes and has written songs for u!!!!

ur #1 hypeman. praises u for everything and always makes sure u know how cool u are just for existing. he loses his mind at ur grade school talent show and at ur graduation he's there holding up his phone and crying like FUCK IT UP KENNETH!!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

tho alongside all the fun he teaches u to be very responsible and polite and above all extremely kind!!!!

shane

has the most potent typical dad energy. the socks with sandals, the jokes, the ac/dc, the funny hobby projects, the rivalry with other pta parents, all of it. calls u squirt and kiddo and the kind to ruffle ur hair. always gives u piggy back rides even as u get older, says it helps him stay in shape. when u were little you'd always bap ur baby hands against his stubble cause heehee funny scratchy face

u loved when he was in charge of dinner growing up cause it was often takeout pizza/burgers. 'hey im making a pot of kraft dinner should i double it for u' kind of guy, adds cut up hot dogs and after ur other parent voices a need for nutrition adds frozen veggies too. VERY good at cooking all kinds of eggs tho, would always feed u eggs from his own chickens and would accept nothing less!!!

teaches u a lot about chickens and some of ur fave memories with him are in the coop or chillin in a field in spring with him and the new chicks. some other faves include the regular tea parties with him and cousin jas, and even as u both get older u all sit down and have tea together sometimes and occasionally break out one of the old barbie movies for funsies

u learned how to say fuck from him when u were 3 and he died laughing. if called and told that u got into a fight at school would reply with 'did they win'

harvey

sweet, dorky doctor dad. would get SUPER worried whenever u got so much as a cold, made u stay home and rest and HYDRATE. taught u proper medical standard handwashing from when u first learned how to turn on the tap, also taught u a lot of basic first aid. when u were fussy he would read u his old textbooks from med school and it'd get you to sleep in minutes

refuses to let u leave the house without eating something first and would often get up early to make u a big breakfast before school (it's the most important meal of the day!!!!). yes it's ok if ur late ur english teacher can wait until you've had ur veggies. when u were a baby his standard of keeping u fed was 'if i had to change less than five diapers a day it wasn't enough'. encourages taking a snack and water everywhere

as u got older u realized how hardworking he is so u make sure he knows how much u love and appreciate him, goes all out for his bday and father's day like how he goes all out for u every day and it makes him cry. he cries at ur first birthday and ur graduation too, cried when u got him a #1 DAD mug specifically for his morning coffee, he just cries a lot and it's very endearing, dad taught u it's okay to be emotional. u also gift him funky socks to wear at work and he goes bananas for them

he taught u how to assemble model planes and u would sit with him while he tuned his old radio, u liked the bwee bwee sounds. he would play jazz and swing and dance with u standing on his feet. when u were little u liked to play with his moustache and occasionally he would fall asleep while watching u but the most u ever did was add a goatee to the stache with washable marker which he thought was pretty funny

alex

strong dad!!! jock dad!!!!! would flex and let u hang off his bicep, play wrestle (u would always win), sit u on his shoulders and run around making airplane noises, play sportsball in the yard and would come up with fun challenges for u if u got bored of catch. pretty much the master of keeping ur baby self entertained and was always there to tuck u in for a nap when u got tired out

makes an extra protein shake for u every morning and loads of scrambled eggs, will also sneak u a cookie tho

he's always super encouraging and positive and enthusiastic about everything u do which u pick up fast. u go to his games and even if sports turns out not to be ur thing the fact that ur there rooting for him makes him put in 1000% effort, calls u his good luck charm!!!! he will also throw u over his shoulders and use u for weightlifting while u shout encouragement directly into his ear. this continues until ur grown up (and sometimes even then so he can flex even as an 'old man')

gets really really worried about you whenever ur sick or get hurt and will lose sleep over it but stays upbeat for ur sake. he will cuddle u tho. sometimes you'll ask for stories about ur grandma and he'll tell u and it's so nice to him to talk about his mother and smile instead of being sad, you help him heal because it's so wonderful to think of her as a grandmother and how proud she'd be. he plays her music box for u to help u sleep when ur little and it still makes u feel sleepy and safe when ur older

[darthkvznblogs]

How do the other Greek gods feel about Hercules? The Disney movie that is, not the hero.

I think Zeus would complain that it makes him seem a bit goofy and he'd scoff at the "Titans", but he'd secretly like it because it portrays him as a much more loving and caring father than he usually is.

Hera would hate it, even more than Hades does. How dare those mortals suggest Hercules is her son, or that she'd be this blank stared, doting mother to him. She very nearly went "fuck it" and broke like, all the ancient laws that bind the gods to smite whoever was responsible for that portrayal. She ultimately didn't, but she may or may not have put in a request for some extra punishment if they end up in the Underworld.

You already know Hades' opinion. I think if there's any redeeming qualities about the movie for him, it's the aesthetics of the Underworld, but that's about it. He's not a wise-cracking man, he's not really that kind of mustache-twirling schemer, and they really, really overstated his hatred of Hercules and made him the villain of a story he barely features in.

Hermes is fine with it, he just thinks he looks kinda ugly, and he's not entirely sure why his skin is blue. He has a pair of those weird little glasses, though, just for funsies. Freaked a couple of his children out when he met them for the first time and let them think their godly father was in a Disney movie.

The rest of the gods are mostly neutral on it; most portrayals are kinda inaccurate anyway. If anything they're kinda miffed that they're barely in the movie.

[pokemagines]

raihan, milo, kabu, & leon + their s/o stealing their clothes

anon asked: “idk if this is dumb but that ask u answered abt raihan inspired me!!! can i ask for hcs or maybe lil scenarios of raihan/leon/milo/kabu's teeny tiny s/o stealing their clothes and their s/o is literally drowning in it and they're just wearing it around the house? or maybe their s/o wearing it and mocking them but like for funsies? i thought itd be cute akdkcjfg”

a/n: these types of asks make me lose it !!!! i want to steal all their outfits even if they are ugly asf (looks at leon). anyways !!! enjoy. would luv to do this for more characters if ya.... if ya catch my DRIFT !!! --mod touko

raihan:

his hoodie is so warm you can’t help but always steal it: he jokes about him needing to be safe from the cold because it’s a dragon type’s weakness. he honestly doesn’t mind you stealing his jackets, he thinks you looks SO cute in them. he’d have a second one made just for you if you stole his often enough, he’d even put his cologne on it so it smells like him.

since he’s so TALL his jackets often hang past your hands, the bottom of it falling far below your waist. raihan gushes over you, insisting you take SO many pictures with him. it turns from cute couple selfies to him directing a full on photoshoot with you and him. the pictures are all over his social medias the next day, he’s gotta flex how cute his s/o is to the world!

just as he’s wrapping up his impromptu photoshoot, you decide to mimic his battle pose. it takes him a moment to realize what you’re doing, hands outstretched like claws, a grin that shows your teeth, but when he does he laughs, rotom phone floating around his head as it takes pictures of the sight without prompting. that’s it, you’re too cute, he decides, scooping you up in his arms, placing kisses all over your face. “it looks cute on you, but i think it’d look even better on my floor,” he flirts with a wink.

milo: 

his outfits are pretty big as he’s a very muscular guy, but he’s quick to let you wear anything of his you ask for. he really is the type of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, and that goes double for his s/o. when he hears you call his gym uniform cute, he’s getting all the extra ones he can find at his gym, getting them in a size that wouldn’t look like it was going to swallow you whole. 

milo’s coming home from doing a bit of training when he first sees you. you have a net in your hand and are trying to herd some of the wooloo that have escaped their pens. you have his hat on, it falling down into your eyes after almost every step, and even more than that, you’re wearing his gym shirt which almost looks comically big on you with the way it slides off and exposes your shoulder. it’s so adorable seeing you imitate his thick galarian accent, hoping that if you sounded like milo the wooloos would roll more easily back into their pens. it doesn’t seem to be working.

milo swoops in and quickly rounds up the wooloos, his gentle demeanor easily calming the pokemon enough that they’d roll straight on into the gates. you huff, sitting on top of the pasture’s wooden fence, but milo can’t seem to take his eyes off you. “you look as cute as a baby wooloo in that!” he says, a light blush on his cheek and a huge smile on his face. you blush at his honesty, pulling his green scarf you borrowed of his over your face. he gently takes his hat off your head and ruffles your hair, planting a kiss to your cheek. “though... mine is a little big on you, why don’t you wear the ones i bought for you?” his eyes shine with innocence, and it makes you blush even more. “well... because those don’t smell like you!” you say, and milo has to prop himself on the fence to keep from falling over... you are much too cute!

kabu:

have you SEEN his hypebeast cape? it’s so big and comfy and kabu hardly ever wears it so it’s pretty much yours now. kabu is a fire type gym leader, it’s not like he needs it very much anyways. besides, you look so cute in it steam almost comes out of his ears the first time he sees you wear it. kabu.exe has stopped working.

you take it as a bad thing when you see him red-faced. is he angry at you? you pout and stand up, arms outstretched, staring at him with curious eyes making you look even more adorable, kabu has to turn away lest he burn up. “do you not like it on me?” you ask, and he’s quick to compose himself, the tips of his ears still burning red. he shakes his head and assures you it looks so good on you, even better than it looked on him when he was a younger man. 

deciding to tease him a little bit, you jog up to him, imitating his trot he does into the stadium. he can’t see your legs because of the long cloak, but he knows what you’re doing. putting your hands behind your back, you mimic the stance he does in battle, and he just shakes his head. “kid, your teasing isn’t good for my heart,” he smirks, kissing you on the forehead, “seeing you in that it... well, as long as you only wear it in our house, it’d throw off my concentration anywhere else.” his voice gets low as he sneaks his hands under the coat, eager to find your soft skin underneath.

leon:

his outfits are so ugly and you make sure to remind him every day of this fact by constantly stealing them so he can’t wear them. he’s skeptical at this point of your true intentions, because he always sees you wrapped up in his heavy cape, but you assure him it’s because you’re keeping him from looking stupid (and it’s not because it smells good like him and is like a blanket on you -- definitely not the reason). 

leon once walked in seeing you in his outfit (his full champion gear -- stupid snapback on and everything), trying to do his charizard pose in front of the mirror in his room. his cape appears to be so heavy, though, your shoulders are slumped over as you struggle to spin around. leon lets out a laugh, alerting you to his presence and you whip around, almost stumbling to the ground as the cape is so damn heavy... why is it so heavy? what is it made of anyways? even leon didn’t seem to know when you asked him.

he quickly walks over to you, taking the cape off your shoulders and throwing it on his bed. admiring you now in the rest of his outfit. it appeared to be a little loose on you, but the outfit was made to be tight on him. and the way the tights looked on your legs... leon wanted to-- “leon... you’re staring.” you mumble, hitting him lightly on the chest. flustered, he can only manage to tease back, “huh, now that i’m looking at it maybe my outfit is a little goofy. somehow you make it look cute, though.”

[lassieposting]

ghasdug for couple questions if you like feeding me

1. Who said I love you first?

Ghastly. Mid-orgasm. The first time they slept together. He. Is. Mortified.

2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Skug. Ghastly has some inadequacy issues during their first century or so, mostly about being ugly and poor - he knows skug could do better. He's attractive, he's funny, he can be very sweet when he wants to be - he could make an excellent match with someone as landed and titled and wealthy as he is.

Skug does try to reassure him, but between his tactlessness and his tendency to not take anything seriously, he kind of sucks at it. Ghastly feels like his being "less than" is a big hurdle, while skug sees it as a trivial difference - he's much happier living with ghastly's family in their cramped farmhouse than he ever was at his parents' vast estate. So he tries to turn it into a joke - "good thing I'm handsome enough for both of us, then," - while completely missing the point that ghastly wants forever with him, and he's worried he's going to spend the rest of forever getting looked down on and whispered about because skulduggery could've done better.

3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

Ghastly is the cuddler. It escalates because skug is adhd as hell and cannot just lie still and snuggle for long without getting bored. He needs constant stimulation. He'll sit on the counter while ghastly works and chat for hours though, swinging his legs and passing over tools when ghastly needs them

4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

Ghastly makes all skug's clothes, including his armour, because he doesn't trust anyone else to keep skug safe in battle.

Ghastly has skug's signet ring, which he found in the burned down-ruins of the pleasant family home after skug was killed. For decades, it's the only thing he had left of skug - the clothes ghastly made, the scarf wifey made, and the locket with wifey and skugbab's portraits inside were all cut away and burned, and the house was razed to the ground. Skug knows he has it, but he's never asked for it back.

5. How would one another describe their partner?

Skug would either deliberately misread the question ("What, haven't you seen him? How could you miss ghastly? He's...he's this high and built like a wall.") or come out with something explicit to deter follow-up questions.

Ghastly mostly talks about how annoying skug is, but it's? Endearing to him. At this stage of their lives, he is the only person who's actually happy to listen to like, an eight hour infodump with no breaks. Skug is. A Lot to handle and society does not have the terminology for him yet.

6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Ghastly. Skug, under all the vanity and egocentrism, has critically low self-esteem and very little self-worth. He's the Family Scapegoat, and got the lion's share of the abuse before he ran away, so he absolutely melts for compliments. The boy has praise kink up the wazoo. Ghastly will happily feed his ego to watch him get the smile and the sparkly eyes and puff up like a proud peacock.

7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

They don't really have this tbh? Not only is the vocabulary of the period insufficient, they see the relationship differently.

Skug is like. Anxious-avoidant attachment personified. He doesn't like to get too close. He falls in love with ghastly a long time before he's able to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else. He essentially treats their relationship like a fuckbuddies kind of deal, and he feels safe like that, because he can't be hurt by someone he doesn't care about. He can't be let down or abandoned by someone who has no commitment to him in the first place. Admitting he loves ghastly leaves him vulnerable, and if he's learned anything in his childhood, its that vulnerable people are the ones who get hurt.

Ghastly on the other hand considers skug his boyfriend, and there's no equivalent term from the 1500s. "Gentleman caller" hardly applies when you live under the same roof and share a room (and, more often than not, a bed), so nobody is calling on anyone. Privately, he thinks of skug as his lover, but he knows skug is allergic to intimacy, so he keeps that to himself for the most part.

So ghastly usually introduces skug as "this is my - this is skulduggery pleasant" and skug usually introduces ghastly as "this is my dear friend, ghastly".

8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

Ghastly. Skug is his first love, and he's completely lost in it. He's had crushes before, on pretty girls who only ever spoke to him to enquire after his "handsome brother", and strapping young men at market who avoided looking at him to speak to his father, but he's never felt anything like this before. He lives with skug. He sees him first thing in the morning and last thing at night, he sees him happy and depressed and drunk and furious, he kisses him and fights with him and fucks him and defends him and laughs with him and cries with him and for years and years, they're inseparable. He's? Completely unprepared for how hard he falls for skug.

9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Ghastly. Drowsy morning skug is snuggliest skug. He doesn't get as many snuggles as he'd like, tbh, because skug is active and easily distracted and doesn't like staying still for too long, but in the early morning is when he's most likely to be warm and cuddly and relaxed, and when he's least concerned about keeping ghastly at arms length. He'll pull skug back against his chest and he'll wiggle round to press a sleepy kiss to the corner of ghastly's mouth and tuck his head under ghastly's chin, and he'll doze off again with his hand stroking idly up and down skug's spine.

10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

Ghastly.

11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

Skug likes to pick up the absolute ugliest thing he can find while shopping and pretend he loves it while ghastly cringes and swears blind that he will not be seen with you while you're wearing that thing, skulduggery, so help him god. What usually happens is that skug pulls his new purchase to pieces as soon as they get home, and then gets ghastly to make it up better.

12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

Skug taught ghastly to read, so he'd bring home books for him while he was learning and get ghastly to read to him, lying with his head in ghastly's lap and lazily correcting his pronunciation or reminding him how to sound out the words.

Ghastly doesn't have the sort of disposable income skug does, so he makes him things instead, like stylish hats with feathers in them, even though he personally hates that fashion and is delighted when it dies.

13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Skug. Ghastly loves watching him laugh till he chokes though. He adores seeing skug happy.

14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Ghastly. Skug is an attention whore, he loves that kind of thing. An entire event all for him? Hell yes, baby

Ghastly himself, on the other hand, is painfully insecure and selfconscious at this stage of his life, and he'd be mortified at being the centre of attention like that. Skug is a vain, arrogant dick, but he's not cruel. He wouldn't make ghastly feel bad for funsies.

15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

Ghastly picks skug up. There's not much of a height difference between them, just two inches, but teenage skug is a lanky little twink and ghastly could benchpress him, which skug is rabidly horny over. Because, you know, muscles.

Once they join the army and skug fills out and gets all lean and fit and strong, ghastly can still pick him up, but he absolutely complains that he weighs a ton now.

Adult skug can lift/mostly carry ghastly in an emergency, like if he's injured and needs to be helped back to camp or carried off a battlefield. But it's difficult, and ghastly is really too heavy for him, so picking him up isn't something he'd do for fun. Teenage skug can't pick ghastly up at all.