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55sturn · 2 months

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ FEEL IT ON THE WAY HOME

↳ masterlist!

↳ summary: in which matt finds himself growing jealous of y/n's friendship with nathan, despite matt not officially being with her, however she sees his deepest worries and assures there's no one else for her.

↳ pairings: matthew sturniolo x fem!reader

↳ warnings: swearing, jealous!matt, snide comments here and there from matt (basically passive aggressive!matt), relationship anxiety, angst if you squint.

↳ author's note: if you tilt your head, step back a couple feet, and squint your eyes you’ll see it’s based if you are in love by taylor swift.

THIRD PERSON POV

if anyone were to ask matt, when he fell in love with you, he'd tell you somewhere between junior and senior year. but deep down he knew that he was lying. he knows he fell in love with you the moment he met you.

the two of you met during the summer between eighth and ninth grade. it was the one and only summer he let his mom send him away to summer camp with his brothers. he decided that he'd go once, just for the memories.

and boy did he make some memories.

FLASHBACK

"matt c'mon! they're letting us have a free hour on the beach!" chris exclaimed loudly as he jumped on his brother's bed, disturbing the middle triplet who tried to peacefully nap during their free hour.

"chris go away!" matt grumbled, pulling the pillow over his head, keeping away from chris until nick came into the room, ordering matt to get up. matt obliged, but not without complaint.

the three boys made their way down to the beach. chris immediately took off toward the makeshift court where a few boys his age were playing basketball. nick took off toward alahna who attended the camp as well.

matt was about to follow nick when he spotted a girl, probably his age sitting alone at table drawing away in a sketchbook.

"hey, why are you by yourself?" matt greeted, sitting across from her, feeling the need to keep this girl company.

"i just moved to boston and my mom sent me to this stupid camp to make friends in time for school but i'm mad at her so i'm not gonna make any friends." the girl replied, not taking her eyes off her book as her pencil scribbled furiously. when she realized he wasn't leaving, she let out a dramatic sigh and looked out at the water.

"well, i'm matt!" he laughed, noticing how stubborn she was about not looking at him.

"i'm y/n." she replied, finally looking at him and felt her face grow warm, but she thought that was gross so she chalked it up to the summer air against her skin.

a week later, the girl left summer camp with four new friends, despite her penchant for being alone.

when the school year began, y/n quickly found that she was attending the same high school as the triplets. she was quick to fall into their routine, developing a close relationship with their closest friends as well. almost immediately fitting into their dynamic and group.

however, y/n got rather close with nathan almost immediately after meeting him. she opened her arms and let nate in without fighting, she felt a strong brotherly tie to him.

however matt didn't know that she only considered him a brother, his jealously stewing over time. he knew he was falling in love when he wanted to punch nate for stealing y/n from him. he knew he was falling in love when he was angry when he should've been happy when y/n found her first boyfriend.

he knew he was falling in love the moment he met her.

FLASHBACK OVER

in the two years since y/n, the triplets, alahna, and nate have graduated, matt hasn't been able to pinpoint the exact moment his relationship with y/n changed.

they went from awkward teenagers trying to navigate uncomfortable and unfamiliar feelings that brew in the pits of their stomachs every time they met their best friend's eyes, to people testing the waters of what is considered a normal friendship while cuddling, spending the night with her chest to his back and his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

they went from best friends teasing each other relentlessly over not having their first kisses only to become each other's first kisses. they kept the terribly awkward, clashing of teeth, tongue in the wrong spots type of kiss, to themselves.

however, despite their first kiss being terrible, once they graduated and the triplets moved to los angeles, y/n and matt had a tendency to share more kisses every time they convinced her to come out to los angeles or whenever the triplets flew back home to boston.

matt depended on those close, personal moments of intimacy with y/n. they made him feel like he had her in his life in a way that no one did. she was special to him, his first ever love. he didn't want to give that up. and so, he and his brothers were on their way to boston, partly because they missed home and mostly because matt needed to see her.

"so are you gonna tell her?" nick hummed, looking at matt who sat in the middle seat of their section on the plane, his eyes glued to his phone as he watched the minutes tick by, his right knee bouncing rapidly as he waited for the plane to land.

"huh? tell who? what?" matt replied, a delayed reaction to nick's question, the pounding in his chest travelled to his head, causing his reaction time to be slowed.

"he asked if you're gonna tell y/n that you've been in love with her for like ever, bozo." chris snickered, earning a swift smack to the stomach, causing chris to double over groaning slightly. okay so maybe, matt's reaction time wasn't delayed.

"shut up chris. i'm not in love with her."

"that's bullshit, and you know it." nick mumbled, earning a glare from matt who just slumped back in his seat, plugging his airpods into his ears, trying to ignore his brothers and their ridiculous teasing for the rest of the flight. the flight couldn't go by fast enough for matt, who was subconsciously biting his nails as he listened to playlist that y/n had made for him. as the boys struggled to but kept busy, the flight was soon over, all three of them rushing to grab their carry/ons and get off the plane.

as the triplets headed toward their house, they grew nervous. all their friends and family knew they were coming home and were awaiting their arrival. matt felt his nerves calm slightly when he heard y/n's laugh from the open window in the kitchen.

as he pushed through the door, he felt his heart crumble to pieces deep in his chest. seeing y/n, thrown over nate's shoulder laughing loudly as he tickled her, bright matching smiles on their faces, made his words and feelings get stuck in his throat as it ran dry.

matt scoffed slightly and rolled his eyes as y/n looked up from her place over nate's, smiling brightly and squealing slightly as nate placed her on her feet. matt ignored the bitter jealously rising up his throat as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek briefly.

"i missed you." y/n whispered as she pulled back slightly, the look on her face sending a stubborn, unwavering warmth through matt's chest that he tried to fight hard to fight.

"yeah, you too." matt hummed, hardly looking at her as he stared nathan down, a half-assed grin on his face while he dapped his childhood friend up. as y/n hugged nick and chris, she felt eyes staring into the back of her head. turning around, she met matt's angry stare along with nathan's blissfully unaware, cheesy and lopsided grin.

"can we go to denny's? i could so fuck up some of their waffles right now." y/n laughed, looking to matt, her eyes softening as she silently pleaded for the boy in front of her to drive the group to denny's.

"yeah lemme put my shit away and we can go." matt sighed, the hardened front he masked himself with easily cracking and crumbling down completely around his feet under the soft stare that had him weak in the knees every time he looked her way.

as he quickly shuffled his suitcase and duffel bag up the stairs to his room, he felt his mind swarm with conflicting emotions and ideas, unsure if he wanted to punch his best friend for carelessly flirting with y/n as if his feelings weren't painfully obvious or if he just wanted to settle in security, knowing that he had y/n in a way no one else did.

sighing, he returned back to the group of people waiting for him, knowing if he stayed in his room, someone would come looking for him and he didn't have the nerve to talk about the feelings swirling beneath his ribcage.

the group piled into the van, chris, nick, and matt all in their respective spots, with nate and y/n squished beside each other, giggling amongst themselves as they talked about god knows what.

"so y/n, did you finally ask out that guy you said you were into?" nick prodded, tilting his head inquisitively as he eyed the way her and nate interacted.

"wait, did you think that guy was nate?" y/n laughed loudly, not missing the things nick said with a look.

"i mean, y'all act like a couple." nick chuckled as y/n rolled her eyes.

"yeah you do, it's fucking annoying." matt whispered to no one in particular as his eyes flicked to y/n in the backseat, however chris caught his comment and quietly giggled to himself. the rest of the drive to denny's consisted of the three in the back bickering over shit while chris watched matt stew in his jealousy from beside him, smirking to himself.

as the group piled into the restaurant, they all ordered their preferred forms of breakfast despite it being nearly two in the morning. the group giggled amongst themselves, save for matt who couldn't stop glaring at nate. y/n had picked up on and it made her feel unsettled, she couldn't pinpoint why he'd be upset.

as everyone finished paying for their food, y/n pulled matt aside, her hand on his arm as she looked up at him.

"what's goin' on up there?" she asked, her voice soft and calm, hoping it'd ease matt into talking, and help her get a sense of understanding what he was feeling.

"it's nothing, y/n." he muttered, his voice cold and slightly unsteady as he pushed her hand off his arm.

"matt, c'mon i know you better than you think i do, tell me what's bothering you. you've been acting weird since you first walked in the door. nate's noticed it and so have i."

"why don't you just go bother nate about it then? you seem to be much closer with him anyway." he snapped, rolling his eyes are the shock that fell on her face, before feeling his heart sink as her eyes held something that resembled hurt.

"that's what this is about?"

"y/n, drop it please."

"no matt, i thought it was clear that i don't see anyone else the way i see you."

"well with the way you've been acting with nate it makes me wonder what we actually are. i'm normally not the type to get jealous but jesus christ, i can't help it. you're an amazing girl, any guy would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend or whatever we are and i sometimes wonder why you're into me." matt whispered, unable to keep his feelings at bay any longer with the way she was looking at him, her head tilted, nothing but love and concern in her eyes. she made him feel safe, like he could tell her his deepest emotions and she would listen intently, providing safety for him.

"matt,-" she whispered, stepping closer to him and cupping both sides of his face, her thumbs dragging along his cheekbones as he leaned into her touch, his eyes falling shut briefly.

"there is absolutely no need to worry at all, i'm yours, okay? i-" she paused, taking a deep breath before continuing,

"i love you, matt. i've never looked at another guy the way i've looked at you. not once, and frankly i don't want to. there's no one that can understand a simple look from me the way you do. there's no one who knows me better than you, no one else who's ever taken the time to understand me and be patient with me the way you have. i am yours, and i hope that you're mine. okay?"

"okay." he whispered back, nodding softly as she leaned up, pressing her lips to his in a gentle but passionate kiss that meant they had a mutual agreement, that they were each others, and that one kiss, that one simple kiss that meant they understood each other, was more than enough for matt.

the two broke apart at the sound of giggles, turning to find the rest of the group standing behind them.

"what the fuck was that?" chris exclaimed, genuinely shocked that his brother and his best friend were kissing, and seemingly together.

"a kiss, dumbass."

"yeah but is this the first time or?"

"chris you idiot, do you not ever read between the lines? it's obvious they've been together for a while now." nick replied, his tone incredibly dull, like matt and y/n being together was the most obvious thing.

"i love you too, y/n." matt whispered as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, and pressing a kiss the side of her head as they walked toward the van.

falling in love with your best friend is never easy, it's complicated and messy and leaves behind a lot of doubt but y/n was worth every bit of complicated, every bit of mess left behind, y/n was worth it all to matt.

and that alone, was enough to put his worries and self doubt at ease. because as long as y/n was there to reassure him that she was his, he knew they'd be okay.

↳ taglist: @dylsdunbar @verosivy @soursturniolo @4sturns @sturnsclutter @spencerstits @meanttomeet @bluesturniolo333 @graciereid @abbie13sworld @ghostofbrock @l9vesick @mylifeisevenstranger @bethsturn @ifilwtmfc @themattgirl @lovingmattysposts @lacysturniolo @freshsturns @forevergirlposts @sturniolo-fav-matt @cupidsword @strawberrysturniolo @lustfulslxt @sturnifyed @teapartyprincess4two @mangosrar @querenciasturniolo @pinklittleflower @cutenote @ellie-luvsfics @strniolo @junnniiieee07 @33sturniolo @hearts4chris @evie-sturns @nicksmainbitch @gnxosblog @sturniolopepsi @wronqness99 @sturniolossss @hesvoid3434 @mattsfavwh3re @inlovewithmattstur

#Spotify #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x fem!reader #matt sturniolo oneshots #matt sturniolo oneshot #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo x fem!reader #matthew sturniolo oneshots #matthew sturniolo oneshot #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo imagine

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oweninadaydream · 5 months

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𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐩𝐭 𝟐 || 𝐅.𝐎𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐫

𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂 : Say Don't Go (Taylor's version) (From The Vault) or 4 times you say 'I love you' and Finnick says nothing back.

𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 : Finnick Odair x reader

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽 : 2k

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓼 : angst/fluffy ending i promise, TW: mentions of torture ,anxiety and kidnapping (first story).

𝓪/𝓷 : As promised, here's part 2 of say don't go pt 1 !!! I hope you enjoy the fic!!!

3. 𝓰𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾

You woke up in your bed, yet you could not recall how you got there. Your body felt sore and stiff but nothing could top the way your head was pounding. You were seated against the headboard and you noticed that something wasn’t right ; you couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but you knew deep inside that something was different. To help calm your distress, you tried to remember anything about the day before . You realized right and then that your memory was completely blank, leaving you even more worried than you were prior to that failed attempt.

You had assumed you were all alone, but then you saw Finnick pass through your bedroom door. “Thank God he’s here” you thought, convincing yourself that everything would be alright now that he was there with you (even if you ignored the motivation behind his unexpected visit). He slowly made his way inside and stood in the middle of the room, keeping himself at arm’s length, something extremely unusual that confirmed your gut feeling. Once he had entered your bedroom, you couldn’t help but analyze him and his strange attitude. His movements were robotic as if someone had a remote control that forced him to act like that. His eyes had never been a mystery to you , you could always tell what was going on inside him with a single stare . But this time it was different; he was staring at you with an impassive look that you couldn't quite read, making your whole body tremble in fear and distrust.

You felt intimidated and tried to figure out what was wrong with him “Finn dear, what’s going on?" you asked with a quivering smile. You tried to lift your hand to reach his but ,for some reason, you couldn't. It felt like you were strapped to the mattress and you started panicking, as you couldn't figure out what was happening. Seeking comfort, you pleaded with him in between sobs "I'm very scared Finnick please tell me something, anything. Or just hold me because this is very confusing. I- I feel like- I can't move out of bed, I- I need you"

He simply continued to play his stoic role ; he didn't move one inch before your panic attack or your efforts to set free from the invisible restraints holding you down. "Help me" you whispered with an expression of pure pain on your damped face. Your foggy brain couldn't process the scene before your eyes ; the person who represented love, hope and comfort in your miserable life was being a passive witness to your spectacle of fear and it didn’t seem like he was going to jump into action anytime soon.

You noticed a rapid change in his factions. His eyes burst into flames of hatred and his clenched jaw only accentuated the shift from indifference to hostility. Instead of hurrying to console and aid you like the Finnick you knew would, this empty shell of a man that resembled him broke the distance between you and wrapped his hands around your throat, beginning to strangle you purposefully.

You had been living in survival mode ever since you were chosen as a tribute for District 4 all those years ago, you were no stranger to fighting or death, but never in a million years would you have imagined that the man who swore to shield you from any danger would be the one stealing your breath with his bare hands in an extremely violent manner . You were desperately gasping for air and coughing while he continued to focus on his mission.

For a moment, he seemed to let his hold loose a bit and you took the chance to try and talk him into letting go "Finn, it's me. Why are you doing this?Is anyone making you do this? We take care of each other, remember? I love you more than anything." you told him with a soft but raspy voice as a consequence of his assault. You were tired and wanted to give up, but you continued to fight for him, for your Finn to come back. Apparently, hearing your desperate confession only aggravated the situation, because you felt the strength returning to his hands.

Suddenly, in between your cries and the lack of air , you felt yourself fading away. But before that happened , you heard a very loud scream. In the blink of an eye, you were no longer in your house and Finnick was nowhere to be seen. A white sterile room welcomed you to reality as some doctors accompanied by two peacekeepers entered the room.

Oh, you remember now. You were kidnapped by the Capitol, who had been subjecting you to all kinds of twisted experiments and never-ending abuse for who knows how long. The loud cries and several swear words that made you snap out of that nightmare were Johanna's, whose room was at your right. Peeta was your other neighbor, allowing you to hear them both being tortured at any given time. You looked at your arms and legs and saw the ropes tying you down , justifying the oppressing feeling you had while hallucinating.

The main theme of your punishments for not snitching was him, Finnick Odair. Snow was more than aware of the deep devotion you held for him and how dear you were to him so he figured the perfect torture would be messing with your memories and use several techniques to impose fear and pain in your heart whenever you thought of him or saw his face. That way, you would finally be all alone in this world , scared of the only thing you've ever loved so greatly and he would have to witness you shy away from him in pure terror. To meet his goal, they would drug you and play videos and recordings of him saying the meanest and cruelest words that you knew he would never be able to pronounce, but as the days passed , the truth and the imposed thoughts started to blur in one big and confusing mass.

You were resisting quite well to President Snow's diabolic plan, but you could only hold onto your actual memories for so long. One of the last things you remembered thinking about before you let yourself fall into madness were his eyes, and how much you loved them.

If your suffering assured his survival, you'd tell the Capitol to put you through it a thousand more times , and you would gladly do it again. If only you could have held your sweet Finnick for one more minute before letting him go forever…

4. 𝓪𝓷 𝓸𝓭𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮

The setting sun turned the white-sanded coast of District 4 a soft but enchanting shade of orange. The waves crashing against the rocks accompanied perfectly the idyllic landscape and brought a sense of calmness to the people assembled there. The summer solstice is a day where usually people celebrate the arrival of a new season, but that was not the case this time.

The beach looked magnificent, Effie had been the chief in charge of making everything (and everyone) look ideal for the occasion that brought them all together on that day. The first rows of white chairs were occupied by Haymitch, Effie, Katniss, Peeta, Johanna, Annie and right next to her, there was Mags, the woman who had taken care of you both for so many years and had seen how you two where meant to be from the first time you and your fiancé (soon to be husband) exchanged looks.

Neither you nor Finnick had ever thought about marrying anyone ; under Snow's regime, you were mere pieces of a game with no actual power of decision. But that didn't matter anymore. You were walking towards Finnick, who was nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his suit , waiting for you at the end of the isle. When you finally arrived at your destination, you couldn't help but to turn around and go back to hug Mags, who received you with open arms and a couple of shed tears over her face. After this emotional moment, you went back to Finnick's side "Hi" you whispered so that the conversation could remain secret from all the guests "You come here often?" he teased with a beaming smile on his face. You let out a breathy laugh to relieve some tension and then you both turned so that the ceremony could start.

"I want to keep this vows short because I would need another lifetime just to expose the million reasons why this is the best day of my life. We're free, my love. It's truly over. This is our reward after a whole life of suffering and holding back. I am so in love with you, it's hard to put it into words. You know? Mags once told me that the thing I needed the most had always been right in front of me and I didn't get what she meant by that in that moment. She just laughed at me and told me that I would understand, one of these days" Mags in the front row was a tearful mess "and now I do. I really do" he stated confidently while holding your hands on his.

"My soul craves intertwining itself with yours until there's no way to separate them. So, with this ring" he then proceeded to grab your left hand so cautiously as if you would break at the minimum touch, and slip the golden ring in your finger "I, Finnick Odair, swear to protect, satisfy and devote myself to you ; my friend, my savior and now my spouse. I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with my forever love, which happens to be you" He had always hated to see you cry, even if they were happy tears, so he had to insert a little joke to see you chuckle and be able to hear the most beautiful sound on Earth ; your laugh.

You could sense that your voice would betray you at the minimum attempt to speak, so you needed to rush through your vows before you would explode into tears "God Finnick, you always know how to leave me speechless." the guests all laughed, moved by the evident complicity between the two of you.

"I always knew you were my soulmate, the person I was meant to find. The love I carry for you in my heart used to feel too heavy, but now that I get to set it free, it's more like energy rushing though my whole body, healing all the broken parts. I have the privilege to experience how it feels being loved by you and I want to try and describe it for all our friends who are here today" you breathed in and out and kept talking "Being loved by you feels like being rocked by the sea, like waking up to the smell of freshly baked goods or like being tucked into a warm bed in wintertime. It's exiting, comforting, amusing and an insane amount of other things that I could say right now" you recited while staring at his piercing green eyes that were completely red and filled with tears . You caressed his cheek and tried to wipe them away. "I will always follow you wherever you go, until the end of time. That's what I've always wanted to do and I couldn't be more exited about spending the rest of my life with such a handsome and amazing man. I love you."

Before you could do or say anything else, Finnick held your face between his hand and kissed you like he had been wanting to do since the ceremony started. You said 'I love you' and he said nothing back, but it wasn't so bad this time.

TAGLIST : @bambikitten , @thefourrealms , @shooting-a-star-at-the-moon , @justtrying2getby .

#the hunger games #the hunger games x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair fanfic #the hunger games imagine #the hunger games fanfiction #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader

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trashywormeateroffics · 3 months

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hits different (natasha romanoff x female reader)

the gif is not mine!

summary: in all the time you'd known natasha romanoff, there is one thing you knew for sure. there was no one like her. and if she were to leave, you'd never move on. a song fic. hits different by taylor swift. (angst and then fluff!!!)

a/n: send me asks if you so wish to. im accepting taylor swift songs paired with natasha, bucky or loki. <3

masterlist

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in all the time you had known natasha romanoff, the one and only thing you were sure of was that there was no one like her. and it wasn’t because of how beautiful she was, and she was goddamn breathtaking, it wasn’t because she was skilled in a way no person was, or because she seemed to always know everyone’s secrets; no, that wasn’t it, the public natasha, the one everyone knew, respected and feared. it could’ve been that version of her, because that natasha was amazing, but private nat, as you called her, was, simply, out of this world.

it all started as every problem does, with someone’s devilish smile. and lord, does she have the most tempting smile ever. it was simple after that, you became close, best friends, until the friendly hugs became more… intimate. until the friendly cheek kisses became full on make out sessions. it was easy with natasha, everything flowed perfectly. she knew you, and despite the last thing she said to you, you knew her.

i washed my hands of us at the club

you made a mess of me

i pictured you with other girls in love

then threw up on the street

it was a monday when natasha romanoff decided that she no longer wanted you. she had been acting strange and distant and it all seemed to click for her when that morning you decided to bake her some cupcakes. it might have seem silly to someone else, but that was your way of telling her that you loved her, given that your first kiss had been while baking some cupcakes for steve’s birthday last year. this time though, it was her birthday.

she had been training with bucky in the compound's gym and she entered the kitchen sweaty with a reddened face.

“nat!” you called her as you pulled the sweet goods out of the oven and glanced at her over your shoulder.

“hey…” she looked around, almost as if looking for an escape. but you were too naive, too stupid to realize it, so you kept going.

“happy birthday!” you turned around with the tray in your hands. her eyes fell on the cupcakes and for the first time since you knew her, you wished she wouldn't even direct her gaze at you. the look on her face made your stomach twist. the realization that crossed her features at your gesture, the furrow of her brows as she took it in, and, finally, the disgust at the thought of loving you too. in the two seconds all of this passed, you kept smiling like an idiot, hoping, hoping, hoping.

“y/n,” she simply said and your smile fell immediately.

“yeah…?”

“what is this?”

“cupcakes?” you said, more a question than a statement. almost as if you weren't sure. she took in a sharp breath through her nose, still looking at you. “i wanted to do something nice for you, and i know you don't particularly care about birthdays but i thought-”

“no.” she cut your rambling off, shaking her head. “this is- this is not just cupcakes. and you know that.” you frowned.

“then what is it?”

“its-”

“what?” you asked again, defensively. she was hurting you. she ignored you and distanced herself from you, and then she ruined your nice gesture with more distance. “what is it natasha?”

she looked taken aback by your use of her full name, being used to you calling her a soft nickname. then she composed herself, looking at you coldly.

“you can't do this.” she told you.

“do what?”

“don't play dumb.” she clenched her jaw. “you can't pretend that everything is fine. you know how i've been acting, you know i've been trying-”

“you wanna break up with me?” you asked her, unwavering, putting up a strong front. she swallowed.

“yes.” she admitted.

“why?” natasha sighed, frustration lacing her sigh, almost as if she couldn't tell she was breaking your heart in a million pieces right then and there.

“i can't- i never meant for it to get this far.”

“you didn't mean to what? to lead me on?” you asked her but her gaze was on the ground. “look at me and answer the question!” you raised your voice.

“yes!” she widened her eyes at her admission, surprised by her tone. natasha ran her hand over her reddened face. “yes.” she said softly. “yes… i didnt mean for it to get this far. i didn't mean for you to…”

you nodded rapidly, repeatedly, almost mockingly. then you let out an incredulous laugh.

“you didn't mean for me…?” you trailed off, waiting for her to finish her statement.

“for you to make me cupcakes! for you to… to…” she didn't finish her sentence. for you to fall in love with me.

“you didn't mean for that to happen? then why did you let it?” she didn't answer. “why?!”

“you are hard to push away.” she might as well have grabbed a knife and stabbed you with it, to proceed then to twist it, repeatedly. the air was knocked out of you. what could you say to that? all those months you thought you were living a real life love story, a story worth telling the world, she was trying to get out of it but couldn't find a way to do so. that broke your heart. and it made you feel so stupid, it was blinding how embarrassing it was. defeated, you frowned and took a good, long look at her, pretending that was the last time you were going to see her. and truthfully, it was. that was the last time you were going to see nat, your love. so that's why you did the next thing.

they say that if it's right, you know

“fine.” you dropped the tray and walked away quickly as the sound of the metal hitting the marbled floor resounded all the way to the end of the hallway.

each bar plays our song

nothing has ever felt so wrong

she's everywhere. she haunts your dreams, and when you're awake, she haunts every place in the compound. she's not there physically– she has been avoiding you ever since she broke your heart– but her perfume, her laugh, her presence, they're all there. you're sick of it, sick of her memory, sick of your shattered heart. which is why you call her.

oh my, love is a lie

shit my friends say to get me by

it hits different

it hits different this time

“i can't believe it, i'm gonna kill her.” wanda tells you when you finish your story. she is sitting next to you on a booth in a beautiful bar, far away from the compound. if only you would be able to appreciate the beauty.

“you don't have to, wands. it's fine.”

“oh yeah, it's so fine that you asked me to go to a bar! miss introvert!” she scoffs. “what an asshole. i'm going to knock some sense into her.” you fidget with the straw of your drink.

“there is no sense to be knocked into her. it's simple. she doesn't love me back.” even though you say it nonchalantly, it suddenly feels like someone very heavy is sitting on your chest. your eyes begin to gather some tears, but you blink them away. wanda notices. of course she does.

“hey. lets go dance. fuck her.” you nod and she grabs your hand and pulls you to the dance floor. before you leave the table, you grab your drink, feeling like you're gonna need it.

...

“wanda! look!” you do a weird dance move and the redhead laughs, doing one herself. it's been a while since she dragged you to the dance floor, and you've had more than a couple of drinks, so you're, to put it elegantly, hammered.

“i'm going to get another beer!” she yells over the music, and you nod, not paying much attention. you're having too much fun, dancing weirdly and forgetting your pain.

not a lot of time passes when you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder. you turn around, expecting to find wanda, but instead, there is a woman. a beautiful woman.

“hey there.” she's looking at you amused, and for a second you think she's going to laugh at your dancing. “i've been watching you and your friend for a while. you seem to be having a lot of fun. mind if i join you?”

oh. oh. well, hell yeah.

she laughs and you realize you just said the last part out loud. you scrunch up your nose.

“sorry, had too much to drink. i'm not going to have a filter now.” she tilts her head back as she laughs, and you notice she has dimples. “pretty smile.” you tell her as you point at her. “sorry.”

“don't worry.” she puts her hand on your arm. “thank you. so, are we going to dance?”

“yeah!” you nod enthusiastically and begin moving again, swaying your body from one side to the other.

you're taken aback when she puts her hands on your hips and draws herself closer. maybe this is exactly what you need. so you hook your arms around her neck and begin dancing more suggestively. she smirks and pulls you even closer, your breaths mingling. she smells like vanilla and you close your eyes, preparing yourself. then, she kisses you.

her mouth is on yours, and she smells like vanilla and tastes like cherries and she's beautiful and seems kind…

but she's not nat.

you stop moving your mouth and she pulls away frowning. god, you miss her.

you don't realize until a few moments later that she's saying something.

“are you okay?”

“what?” and that's when you feel them. hot tears are streaming down your face. she looks worried, but also uncomfortable. poor woman, she wasn't expecting to be a therapist today. “sorry. i'm so so sorry.”

“hey, its okay. what happened?”

“i broke up with my girlfriend last week.” you chuckle bitterly through your tears. “she broke up with me.” understanding crosses her features. “i'm sorry.” you repeat again, sniffling.

“i'm going to go get your friend, okay?”

you nod and suddenly, the world is spinning. you didn't realize how drunk you were. she puts her hands on your waist to stabilize you and you let out a sob. this is such a mess. you're so embarrassed. and you miss nat. you just want to go home and crawl into her bed and let her kiss away all your tears and hug away your pain. but you can't. because she doesn't love you.

“i'll be right back.” and then she's gone. you look at her as she walks away, still crying.

it isn't long before wanda is by your side, with the woman still there. you're surprised she hasn't run away yet.

“babe! are you okay?” you shake your head, and she wipes your tears with her thumbs. “thank you, i'll take it from here.” she tells the woman, whose name you don't know.

“what's your name?” you ask her, sniffling.

“violet.” she smiles, pity dripping from her expression.

“thank you, violet. and i'm sorry. you're so beautiful, i'm just-”

“i know. it's alright.” she tells you. “and for the record, she's an idiot. you're the most breathtaking woman i've ever seen.” you purse your lips and look down, embarrassed.

“thank you,” you mumble.

“see you around.” and then, she's gone.

“let's go get a cab.” wanda tells you, putting her arm around your waist so you don't fall. she doesn't seem drunk, unlike you. but, to be fair, you didn't really pay a lot of attention to how much she drank.

“yeah.” you nod.

and i never don't cry (no, i never don't cry) at the bar

yeah, my sadness is contagious (my sadness is contagious)

i slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car

i stopped receiving invitations

you walk out of the bar and get into a cab. you're still crying, silently. and you're tired. and you're starting to get angry. so you grab your phone. the line stops ringing, and you know she can hear you breathe.

“idiot.” you tell her. she doesn't answer. she doesn't hang up either.

“y/n, put down the phone.” wanda tells you once she realizes what you're doing. but you get away from her.

“you're an idiot, you know that natasha? that's what violet thinks. i'm breathtaking apparently.” you sniffle. “but you couldn't see that. i deserve more than that, more than you.”

“y/n,” she says sternly. “where are you?”

“what do you care?”

“i'll come pick you up, just give me the address-”

“i'm in a cab with wanda. and no, you can't pick me up.” you hiccup. your friend looks at you. “god, natasha. youre so… so…” wanda shakes her head. you look down at your hands.

“so what?” she asks you in a low voice, almost as if expecting the worst thing to come out of your mouth.

“i'm sorry.” you blurt out. “i'm sorry i'm so hard to push away.”

“y/n-”

“and im sorry i fell in love with you.” she falls silent. you sob silently. “goodbye.” and you hang up.

“i don't know what im gonna do without her.” you tell wanda.

“you'll be okay, y/n. you'll find someone wonderful who can give you what you deserve.”

“yeah…” you wipe your tears with your hand and look out the window. you don't tell wanda that you don't want to find anyone else, that if it's not natasha, then it's you, alone.

movin' on was always easy for me to do

it hits different

it hits different 'cause it's you

the next morning, you wake up with a splitting headache and you moan and grunt and thrash around your bed. after complaining for a bit, your mind is filled with images of last night. wanda and you talking, dancing. violet. violet dancing with you, then… kissing you. crying. calling natasha. wait. calling natasha? oh no.

“fuck. me.”

slowly, painstakingly slowly, you get out of bed, put on your socks, and head to the compound's kitchen.

when you reach it, you don't expect to find wanda and natasha sitting there, but you do.

as soon as you enter, wanda looks at natasha pointedly, then at you, and then leaves without a word.

you nod at natasha as a greeting and go to open the fridge, but she's quick and blocks the door. you blink at her. you weren't expecting to find her there, and you were not, in a million years, expecting her to give you the time of day.

“we need to talk.” you sigh. there's a few inches between you two but you can still smell her perfume. and it's killing you.

“if it's about the call, i'm sorry, okay? forget about it. just- pretend it didn't happen.” she looks at you.

“i can't.” you take a deep breath.

“i don't know what else to say. i'm sorry.”

“could you stop saying sorry for a second?” she snaps. you frown. “i'm sorry, y/n. i am.”

“for what, nat?” you sigh. “it's not your fault you don't love me.”

“that's the thing.” she runs her hands over her face.

“what is?”

“i do love you, y/n.” the world stops for a few seconds, but then you clench your jaw and shake your head.

“is this because of violet?” she looks away. “you're jealous i'm trying to move on and so you manipulate me?”

“no, it's not like that.” you scoff.

“please.”

“okay.” she nods. “i'm not going to pretend i care for you kissing another woman. i dont. i wanted to go over there and punch her.” against your will, butterflies swarm your stomach at her admission. “but- but that's not it.”

“then what is it?”

“i realized- i've known i love you for a long time, y/n. but i'm- i'm no good for you.” you frown.

“what?”

“you deserve more than someone who freaks out because you told them you love them. you deserve-”

“let me stop you right there.” you cut her off. she blinks, looking at you scared. but you give her a soft, small smile. “you love me?”

“yes. so much.”

“but you freaked out because you think you don't deserve me.”

“yes.”

“and you lied to me. you told me you didn't feel the same.” she looks guilty.

“yes, but-”

“no, no. let me finish.” you take a deep breath. “violet was right.” she clenches her jaw at the mention of her name. “you are an idiot.” she frowns.

“um-”

“you're an idiot, natasha romanoff. but i can't live without you. and i don't ever want to.” her eyes soften, and fill with hope.

“you're saying that you- that you forgive me?”

“you really hurt me nat. but i should've known you'd do something like that. you're not the best at this feelings stuff.” she smiles sheepishly.

“i'm not. but i want to be, for you.”

“i know. and i trust you'll be. after all, you did just admit that you love me.”

“yeah,” she chuckles, “it just took me breaking your heart.” you tilt your head. even though she's joking, you know there's guilt there.

“hey,” you caress her cheek. “its okay.” she's looking at the floor now. “baby. it's okay, i promise.”

“i'm really sorry. i promise you, i'll never do something like that ever again.”

“i know,” you whisper, “now, are you going to kiss me or what?” she laughs and it twists your stomach into knots. god, you missed her.

she grabs your face between her hands and puts her mouth on yours. the kiss begins soft, but after a bit it becomes desperate.

“i missed you so much.” she says when she pulls away for air. then, she's back attacking your mouth.

“i love you.” you tell her, and you kiss her again, and again.

“i love you too.”

yeah, there was no one like her.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #mcu natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfiction #mcu x reader #wlw

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thatfandomslut · 3 months

Text

All Of The Girls You’ve Loved Before

Gretchen Wieners x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Trigger Warning: just a bunch of fluff

Request:

Hello, there! I don't know if this request will reach you or not, but I would like to request some Gretchen Wieners x reader fluff please, thank you! Inspired by All Of The Girls You've Loved Before by Taylor Swift

Mean Girls requests are open.

"Who wrote that?" Gretchen wondered, flipping through (Y/n)'s yearbook. The pink ink glistened on the page with red hearts floating around the name, (Y/n)'s name. The yearbook in Gretchen's hand was dated back to their freshman year, but the pink, flowing cursive made her feel ill with the recognizable feeling of jealousy.

(Y/n) rolled over from her back, and looked over at the book curiously. A hum escaped her lips as she recognized the handwriting. "This was back in freshman year when I was dating Emily." (Y/n) said casually. It was one of those fourteen-year-old relationships where you think you will be together forever. Of course, in the long run, it wasn't healthy, and it ended in text and approximately two days in bed before they both had developed crushes on someone new.

Gretchen didn't experience this kind of relationship. She had situationships like Jason's. She couldn't think back to when she didn't have feelings for (Y/n). Even though she's liked (Y/n) since middle school, it was their sophomore year that those feelings started to blossom fully. Then during the summer between their sophomore and junior years, (Y/n) and Gretchen became official. Gretchen almost forgot about all of the relationships (Y/n) had before them.

(Y/n) noticed the thoughtful pout on Gretchen's lips and gently took the book from her hands and closed it. "Gretchen," she called for the girl's attention, smiling a bit when Gretchen's coffee-colored eyes met hers. "You know, if we had gotten together earlier, this relationship wouldn't be as healthy as it is. I had to mature before I got to where I am now. I grew from those relationships in order to be the person I am today with you." (Y/n) said softly, cupping the girl's cup before placing a soft kiss on Gretchen's pout. Thankfully, this seemed to satisfy Gretchen as she kissed back.

Gretchen had realized that (Y/n) was right. They had been friends during all of the relationships (Y/n) dabbled in before they became official. She has witnessed this growth and maturity. Gretchen also grew during that time. Thankful for her words of reassurance, Gretchen pulled away, pressing a soft kiss to (Y/n)'s nose. "I grew during that time, too. I was in a toxic situationship with Jason, and he treated me horribly. You are the first and only person who has ever treated me like a person who deserved a good and healthy love." Gretchen confessed with a soft smile.

"I'm glad I can provide that for you, baby. You genuinely deserve the world, and I want to give that to you." (Y/n) moved to sit up, stretching slightly, her muscles tight from the position she was in on the bed. "Do you want to watch a movie and cuddle?"

Gretchen grinned wider at this. (Y/n) knew her well. Gretchen practically launched herself into (Y/n)'s arms causing the two to laugh as (Y/n) held her close. "Can we watch Clueless again?" She questioned, hoping (Y/n) would agree to this. After all, they watched it once every week. Unfortunately for (Y/n), it was a movie that Gretchen never grew tired of. (Y/n) nodded softly, kissing her girlfriend's temple before flipping on the movie for her. The room's previous tensions were now completely settled as the two enjoyed the movie.

(Y/n) could always appreciate how she and Gretchen communicated their feelings. She knew that Gretchen struggled with the idea of her and her past relationships. And, that was something (Y/n) understood. She heard an earful from Regina about how Gretchen had been crushing on her for years and she needed to 'woman up' and ask her out. (Y/n) was nervous to go out with Gretchen. She had only been in unhealthy relationships before her, but this has been the most amazing relationship she has ever been in. She was determined to spend forever with the honey-blonde girl in her arms.

Gretchen looked up at (Y/n) as she noticed the girl lost in thought. Her focus was obviously not on the movie. "What's on your mind?" Gretchen questioned softly, her hand gently moving to take (Y/n)'s. She always liked to know what was on (Y/n)'s mind. She lived for her girlfriend's thoughts and ideas.

(Y/n) bit her lips with a smile as her cheeks heated up. "Would it be too cheesy if I said you? I was thinking about how lucky I am to be with you. I'm just thankful for you, and in a way, Regina for pushing me to finally ask you out." She confessed before leaning her head back to rest on the pillows behind her. She didn't mean to get caught so zoned out, but Gretchen was someone who was incredibly observant.

Gretchen smiled at (Y/n)'s answer, squeezing her hand. "It is a bit cheesy, yes, but… It's also very cute, and it's nice to hear that you feel that way about me and for me." Gretchen responded, meeting eyes with (Y/n). The action would always take her breath away. "I feel the same way towards you. Also, I'm thankful for Regina, too. I love you." She said happily, leaning up to pepper (Y/n)'s face with kisses, causing the girl to laugh happily at the action.

"I love you, too, Gretchen," she said as her heart felt warm, the fluttering feeling in her stomach returning. It always came when she and Gretchen were acting like this. Both had forgotten about the movie playing in the background once Gretchen's lips landed onto (Y/n)'s. Both of their heartbeats accelerated but they were still in sync. The feeling of love and happiness filled the room as the two kept each other close, as they always did. At that moment, they felt lucky and a sheer amount of love that could end a war. It was evident to the both of them how much they wanted and needed each other, and how important it was to grow from all of the relationships they've had in the past.

#gretchen wieners x reader #gretchen wieners #mean girls x reader #mean girls

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talkdutchtome · 9 months

Text

You Should Have Said No Chapter Five- Shake It Off

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader / pierre gasly x reader )

summary . . . when your fiancé cheats on you, you strike up an unusual friendship with one of his closest friends, who just so happens to have had a crush on you since he set eyes on you. chaos ensues.

inspired by the works of miss taylor swift )

genre . . . angst )

song . . . shake it off- taylor swift)

warning . . . cheating, mental illness, angst, eventual smut, poorly translated french and dutch, swearing, mention of parent loss, emotionally abusive parent, slight social media au, kendall jenner as fc (potentially more i’ll add as i go along)

series masterlist . . . available here )

“Literally everyone does it Y/N, it’s a rite of passage after a breakup” Lila stresses at you, waving a pair of scissors in front of your face. She wants to cut your hair, claiming that it would help you forget about Pierre. Truth be told, you’re not even sure that you want to forget about Pierre, though you’d die before admitting that to Lila, who may kill you herself if you dared let those words pass through your lips. Whilst Lila worked on the West End theater scene in London now, she had spent years working on much smaller theater scenes so she had learned to cut hair so that her and her colleagues didn’t have to spend a good chunk of their small paycheck on their hair; so you knew that she definitely could cut your hair you just weren’t sure you wanted it cut. Pierre had once told you when you were 18 that he liked your hair long so naturally, you kept your hair that long ever since. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that Pierre wouldn’t have had an issue if you did cut your hair, realistically he may not even remember that he told you he liked your hair long, but you remembered so you always kept your chocolate brown hair at the length it was when he said it. “Okay fine, just do it” you relented, sitting in front of her to allow her to begin to work on your hair.

After she had finished, she put a mirror in front of your face, enabling you to see your now shoulder length hair and as much as admitting she was right was painful for you; you had to admit not only did you look good but you also felt a freeing sense, like you were finally accepting that life was going to be different now, and maybe that’s okay. “It’s lovely, thank you Lila”

“Right okay time for outfits, I’m not sure what you’re wearing to the race yet but I know exactly want I want you to wear for the after party; you need to go full Princess Diana” The words that came out of her mouth made you laugh but you quickly realized that she was completely serious. “Okay what the hell do you mean by ‘full Princess Diana’, also you do know you’re not my personal stylist righy?”

“Oh, come on you know! The revenge dress!”

“My god you’ve lived in London for too long” You laughed at her but maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea, there was every chance Pierre could come to this party and you were only human after all, you couldn’t help wanting to realize what he’s missing out on. Whilst you were weighing up your options regarding your evening wear, Lila had moved onto looking through her suitcase trying to find something for you to wear. “Now this is perfect!” hearing your best friend’s words made you look up to the outfit she was referring to. In her hands she held up a pair of light wash ripped boyfriend jeans and a black top that was really more of a bra than a top. Opening up your mouth to tell her no, you caugh sight of her face looking at you with pleading eyes and pouted lips. “Okay fine, give it here”

“Ohhh and this too?” she throws Max’s jacket at you, resulting in her receiving a death stare from you “Nope. Too far Lils” you told her trying to be serious but failing once she fell into fits of giggles, causing you to laugh like a mad man too.

“Uhh Y/N, have you been on Instagram lately?” Lila questioned with a worried tone in her voice, before you could answer her question, she had turned around her phone and showed you the post that she clearly thought you needed to see. Your eyes focused on the image in front of you and you quickly snatched the phone out of her hand to have a look. The fact that there were paparazzi as you got off Max’s private jet a few days ago had completely slipped your mind after a very stressful few days. “Oh fuck” you cursed at yourself, you didn’t even think how it looked for a driver's fiancée to be flying on a plane alone with a bunch of other drivers, but clearly the fans following the infamous F1 gossip page did. Reading through the comments, you saw countless people calling you a slut, alleging that you were sleeping with one of the drivers that you were pictured with, people worried and upset for Pierre; pretty much any derogatory word under the sun was used to describe your behavior. Just for a second you felt a flash of guilt, knowing that Pierre is defiantly going to see the post, but it quickly dawned on you that you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for having friends or for spending time with people who were looking after you after finding out that your finance had cheated on you. After the guilt subsided, anger took its place. How dare they criticize you for having friends, for daring to even be in the presence of men whilst Pierre could literally fuck another woman and there wasn’t a post about that, there wasn’t cameras in the club when Pierre actually did what people are accusing you of.

“You just need to ignore it Y/N, it’s not fair of course it isn’t but it’s also not important, just follow the advice of Taylor Swift and Shake it off” Lila spoke, knowing what was going through your head.

“Oh I was actually meant to say, have you spoken to Charles since everything happened?” she asked you, trying to change the topic of conversation as she could tell the gossip post.

“No actually, he messaged me literally the day after it happened as Pierre went to his house when I kicked him out but since then I haven’t heard anything since. Though he did phone you so I guess.” you told her and she scoffed, clearly not happy with that answer. “That’s really shitty of him, he’s been your friend for almost 15 years and all he can manage is one text. Though it doesn’t surprise me, he always was a dick.” her words made you laugh but you couldn’t help but agree with what she said, you had known Charles for almost as long as he knew Pierre and you were always close so you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you that he hadn’t reached out since that first day. “Oh come on be fair Lila, he was a bit of a dick when we were 15 but he’s changed since then, he’s a good guy” you told her but she just scoffed again, clearly not ready to accept that he wasn’t the same Charles that broke her heart 12 years age.

Much to Lila’s dismay, upon your arrival at the track ready for the race, you were called into a meeting, leaving her alone for an hour, desperately searching for some entertainment, she ended up stumbling into Pierre. Whilst she tried to avoid his gaze and get away without speaking to him, she had no such luck. “Ugh what do you want?” she had asked him clearly pissed off that he wouldn’t let her slip away without having to acknowledge his presence. “Please just listen, I really need your advice” Pierre told the girl in front of him who rolled her eyes but gestured for him to continue. “I just don’t know what to do, I love Y/N so much and I know I fucked up, I really fucked up but I don’t want to live without her and every time I try to speak to her, I just seem to make it worse” his words caused Lila to laugh, earning her a death glare. “Look if she’s got any sense, she’ll never take you back, but I’ll tell you this; if she’ll ever be ready to take you back, she needs to heal first. Every time she sees you her heart breaks more and soon enough it’ll be broken beyond the point of no return. So, if you love her or ever did, you need to leave her alone, at least for a while” Lila told him, causing him to stand deeply in thought for a minute before speaking up again. “But what if I leave her alone to heal and she ends up falling for Max?” he asked her, with tears in his eyes threatening to spill over. “I’m going to be brutally honest with you Pierre, would that really be such a bad thing? You and I both know what a hard life she’s had, doesn’t she deserve love from someone who will never hurt her? Who will never make her look in the mirror and wonder what is wrong with her that the person who is supposed to love her went and slept with another woman.” Lila told him before turning around and walking away before he had a chance to respond.

Eventually the race started, and you were sat in Red Bull garage hospitality with Lila, things were going well for the first 15 laps until there was a crash that made your heart sink. Pierre had collided with Geroge Russell sending them both spinning. Before you even had the chance to think about the consequences, you were on your feet and running to the Alpine garage. In that moment nothing else mattered other than finding out if Pierre was safe, everything else was forgotten. In the time it took you to reach the garage, Pierre had come back and other than sporting a bit of a limp, he seemed fine; that was until he saw you and it looked like he was going to cry. Both of you were acutely aware of the fact that were countless engineers surrounding you who had no idea what was going on between the two of you; they were used to you being sat in the garage all weekend but this time you were nowhere to be found until right now when you ran in frantically. It was quite the picture, you both standing opposite each other, him trying not to cry and you trying to catch your breath, partly from the running but also from the creeping anxiety that sat in your stomach.

Eventually realizing that you weren’t going to say anything whilst surrounded by everyone, Pierre told the medic charged with checking him out that he was going into his driver's room to get his withings before they took him away to the medical center to be checked. As he walked, he gestured for you to follow him, so you did. “Are you okay? That looked really bad. I was so worried oh my god are you okay?” You rambled at him, not even giving him a chance to answer your questions. You were spiraling and he knew it, even though you could now see that he was okay, the initial fear you felt was the straw that broke the camel's back and every emotion that you had shoved down for the past week was making itself known. Pierre could see that you were shaking and crying, so on instinct he wrapped his arms around you, so tightly that it hurt because he knew you and he knew that’s what you needed when you got like this. “Shh baby it’s okay I’m okay. I know it was scary but I’m okay” He soothed you and stood with you in his arms until your breathing calmed down and you pulled away from him. “I’m sorry for coming here Pierre, I just needed to know that you were okay” you told him before turning to walk away from him, once the anxiety had subsided you realized that coming here wasn’t the best thing to do, that letting him comfort you wasn’t really fair on either of you. Just as you reached the door handle you heard Pierre’s voice ask you the one question you really didn’t want him to ask- “Why did you come here?” You turned around to look at him, but you didn’t answer his question, how could you when you didn’t even know the answer yourself. “What is going on with you and Max?” He questions you again, upon realizing you weren't going to answer his first question. It’s the same thing he asked you days ago, but the way he asks is different now; there’s no venom in his voice, no taunting look in his eyes, there’s just sadness and a look of hopelessness. “He’s my friend. He’s really looked after me over this last week and I do really like him, but it’s not like that Pierre okay. He’s just a friend” you told him hesitantly, you’re aware that maybe it was best not to humor his question, but the anxiety attack you just had exhausted you and you truly did not have the energy to argue with him as to why it’s none of his business “He likes you Y/N, he always has” he told you. There were no words you could think of to say in response to him, so you just walked away.

After your interaction with Pierre, you went back to the garage with Lila where you both watched Max win the race by 30 seconds. Immediately following the race Lila had to leave to catch her plane back to London, you both cried as she left, vowing to not leave it so long until the next time you see each other again. Despite all of this and how much you loved her, you cursed her name when you arrived back in your hotel room and saw the dress, she left for you to wear. It was a tan mini dress that clung to your body tightly and stopped way higher up your thighs than you ideally would have liked; to put it bluntly it was almost the exact opposite of something you would chose to wear but as it was the only option available, you had to accept that you would be out of your comfort zone and get ready for the party. Just as you were getting ready to head to the club you remembered the last words that Lila had said to you just before she left “Make sure you post on Instagram how hot you look just in case Pierre isn’t at the party, a revenge dress isn’t a revenge dress if the person doesn’t see it” you laughed at her words but did what she said anyway, knowing that she wouldn’t leave you alone until you relented anyway.

The second you walked in the club, you caught sight of table that Max and everyone were sat at. Even though it was a Red Bull party Max did mention that others would be coming so you weren’t surprised to see Lando and Daniel sat alongside him. As soon as Max spotted you, he was up on his feet, making the short journey from his table to the bar where you stood.

“Hey Max congratulations, such a good race.” You told him, smiling sincerely at him. “Y/N I’m so good you’re here! I was worried you weren’t going to come. What are you drinking?” The Dutchman asked you, smiling ear to ear, clearly on a high from his win. Usually, you didn’t drink much in clubs, often finding that it ends up making your anxieties worse, but you couldn’t help but feel that this was a night where you deserved to let go a little bit and actually get drunk for once. “Ohh maybe tequila?” you suggested earning yourself a cheeky grin from the man in front of you, who leant forward and ordered four shots of tequila from the bartender before calling Lando and Daniel over to give them their shots. As you stood at the bar with the three men taking your shots, you couldn’t help but think about the gossip post from earlier; you realized that as you were in a public club, anyone could easily take a photo of the four of you and use it to fuel more rumors. Part of you wanted to walk away from them, to not give people anymore ammunition to use against you, but the other part of you didn’t care what anyone else was going to do or say and just wanted to have a good time with your newly found friends. Deciding to listen to the part of you who just said ‘Fuck it let me have fun’ you ordered more shots and let yourself just enjoy the company you were in.

After an hour or so passed, you could feel how tipsy you started to become and decided that you had probably drunk enough; that was until you saw Charles and Pierre walk into the club and immediately decided to buy and drink a lot more alcohol. You sat at the Red Bull table with Max and his friends for a while more until you saw that Pierre had left Charles sat by himself for a moment and with your decision-making skills inebriated, you decided to go and confront him.

“Oh hey Y/N” Charles spoke as you walked towards him. “Don’t ‘hey y/n’ me Charles you’re such a dick” you told him perhaps a bit more aggressively than you had meant, slurring your speech whilst you were at it too. He just gave you a confused look. “I can’t believe I’ve barely heard from you Charles. I know you’re Pierres friend I get that, but you’re my friend too. I’ve known you for almost 15 years and all I get from you when my life literally falls apart is one text? I get you called Lila and I appreciate it, God knows I needed her here. But I also needed you. I’m not asking you to pick my side or drop Pierre, but it would have been nice to feel like you didn’t drop me.” You ranted at him, and he just looked at his feet, clearly ashamed at his behavior. “I know, I’m really sorry. I did want to reach out, but I just didn’t know how” he spoke, and you could tell that he did genuinely feel bad. You were going to say something else to him in response, but you suddenly saw Pierre approaching and decided that being around him in this state definitely was not the best idea. “I should go” you told Charles before turning to walk away. “I am really sorry Y/N, phone me when you get home to Monaco and we’ll arrange to do something” Charles called out after you just as Pierre rejoined him, earning him a funny look from his friend.

The need to drink came back after that conversation with Charles so you grabbed another couple of shots for you and Max before walking back to the table, and after taking them all you wanted to do was dance. With Lila being gone, the next best person to dance with was Max so you grabbed his hands and dragged him onto the dance floor. This was completely out of character for you, with you usually being the quiet person sat in the corner at a club but despite that and despite the fact that you knew that Pierre was burning a hole in your back watching the two of you, you completely let yourself go and danced with Max. The dancing started fun, with the two of you jumping around to Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off (the irony was not missed on you even in your very drunk state), however after a while the copious amounts of alcohol you had drank started to catch up on you and Max eventually declared that you probably needed to head home and that he would acompany you to make sure that you got in safely.

The journey in the uber was proabably around 30 minutes, although it didn’t at all feel like that. You spent the whole journey talking to Max about pretty much everything that came into your head, you told him about how you and Lila met Charles and Pierre and how the four of you became best friends, you told him about your love for Taylor Swift and your desperation for Eras Tour tickets, you even told him about the time you met Christan Horner’s wife Geri for the first time and completely embarrassed yourself by gushing over her and telling her how obsessed you were with the Spice Girls when you grew up. And the whole time he sat there and listened to you, he didn’t just listen to the important stuff you had to say like you often felt Pierre did, but he sat there and listened just the same when you were rambling on about something silly and insignificant. He was completely attentive, and it made you feel like you could tell him absolutely anything. He then walked you all the way up to your hotel door just so he knew that you were home and safe. “You looked so beautiful tonight Y/N” he told you but it looked like he regretted in straight away when you just looked at him unsure what to say back to him. “Goodnight, thank you for a good night” He spoke again before turning to leave. “Wait Max” you called after him and he turned around to ask you what it is you wanted but stopped when he felt your hands come up to the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss. Your lips touched only for a second and your touch was so faint that Max could have thought that he had maybe imagined it if not for the riot of butterflies took flight in the depths of his stomach, their wings fluttering in harmony with the newfound spark that had ignited between the two of them. Before Max had a chance to say anything you closed the door on him before walking to the bed and flopping onto it. In spite of the amount that you had drank, you had never felt more sober than you did right now, in the aftermath of your first kiss with Max. You wanted to cry, you wanted to laugh, you wanted to scream, you wanted to run after Max and kiss him again but in the end all you do is just lay on your bed and attempt to follow the piece of advice that Lila had given you earlier in the day, you just shook it off and went to sleep.

Taglist-

@hiraethrhapsody @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @aundercover @dearlovelys @bicchaan @eugene-emt-roe @faithm120601 @ruleroftheuniverse @idkiwantchocolatee @simxican @reidsworld @icarus-nex @barnestatic @amalialeclerc @stargaryenx @pjofics @girlintheredscarf @janeholt3 @lu-morningstar-2 @mycenterfold @be-your-coffee-pot @omarsiglia @lordperceval-16

#f1 x reader #f1 smut #max verstappen #lando norris #formula 1 #max verstappen smut #pierre gasly smut #pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #max verstappen x reader #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly x oc #max verstappen x oc #max verstappen x y/n #f1 fanfic #fanfic

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dailyreverie · 6 months

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Chain 'round my neck

A/N: ...can you still tell taylor swift is my entire personality this year? Whatever. Title comes from the song "Call it what you want" from Taylor Swift.

@flufftober - Day 23 Trinket

Pairing: Steven Grant x reader

Word count: 820

Flufftober masterlist

He was going to hate you. Steven was going to get home any minute now, and he was going to hate you. You had been looking for the necklace for what felt like hours now, everything you had in your handbag now scattered on the bed, your boxes of earrings emptied out the same way, yet the very same necklace Steven gave you for your birthday, with your initial beautifully carved in gold, was nowhere to be found.

Did someone ripped it on the bus? Did you take it off at work and don’t remember? Damn it, you didn’t even had a good excuse for it and you could already hear the clink of Steven’s keys outside the door. “I’m home!” He called, with his usual chirpy tone and a smile in his voice.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, going through your scattered belonging one last time before facing him.

“I have a surprise for you, love!” The excitement in his voice only twisted your stomach more, guilt eating your insides.

“Steven, honey, before you say anything-”

“Is everything alright, love?” Steven found you sitting by the edge of your bed, the place you landed after giving up with your search. He joind your side, backpack still across his body, finding your hand and looking for your eyes.

“No, it’s not alright.” You took a deap breath, bracing yourself and looking for the strength you needed. “I lost the necklace you gave me.” Your eyes were filled with tears when you looked up at him, and even though you expected him to get mad, you still squeezed his hand; it was natural by now, looking for his reassurance any time you were upset.

“Oh. Honey you didn’t-” Steven tried to stop you, but you kept going about it anyway.

“No, no, I did. I lost it, and I don’t remember how or when, I don’t even remember if I wore it this morning now and I feel like shit because I love it so much and-”

“I have it.” He spoke a bit louder, only so you could hear him above your nervous rant.

“What?” You asked after a beat. “You have it?”

Searching in his bag, Steven pulled out a little red velvet bag and placed it on your hand, leaning to see your reaction only to find you confused.

“I took it this morning because I needed to get it fixed for this.” He signaled the bag with his head, waiting for you to move and open it, not realizing how confused you were until he looked at you and saw your furrowed eyebrows. Steven chuckled, kissing your cheek sweetly, making you turn to look at him with tear-filled eyes. “Here, let me.”

With delicate fingers Steven took the small bag and untied the cords, opening it and pulling your necklace out of it. Extending it over your hand, you felt your heart swelling when, right next to your golden initial, you saw a golden moon - a crescent moon, pointing to the right just as the moon in their suits did.

“Seven… this is…” You were speechless, looking at the moon in your hand not knowing what to say.

“I saw it at an antique shop, the one we like by the museum. I saw it last week when I went for a book and it made me think of you, and how beautiful it would look on you. I needed the chain to get that little loop on top just right, I’m sorry, I should have-” He stopped when your hand reached his cheek, cupping it before meeting his lips in the middle.

“It’s beautiful.” You beamed, kissing him again and feeling him smile too. “Thank you,” You whispered, not trusting your own voice after going through so many emotions only to land in the love you had for him.

He swiftly took it from your hand, softly turning your shoulder to guide you to face away from him so he could place the necklace were it belong around your neck. When you faced him again you were both smiling like a goofs, the reflection of the sunset outside casting over your room making the charm shine.

“Now we’re all matching.” Steven said with a grin, his eyes locked with yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close for an embrace that made the remains of the worry and anxiety you felt before fade away, leaving nothing but the endless love you felt for each other.

“I’m sorry I freaked out.” You whispered, now feeling a bit embarrassed.

He chuckled and held you tighter, his voice soft and affectionate. “You know I love a good treasure hunt.”

Maybe you necklace was never lost, yet still, you had found once again how truly lucky you were to have Steven in your life, making every moment as enchanting as a crescent moon on a starry night.

🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂🌙🍂

Thanks for reading! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed it!

#flufftober 2023 #flufftober #day 23 #marvel #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #steven grant headcanon #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant imagine #steven grant fluff #steven grant x gender neutral reader #steven grant x y/n #steven grant fic #steven grant blurb

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hoosbandewan · 3 months

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THE Billy Taylor Post

I have a love/hate relationship with The Halcyon as a show overall. I don't feel like all of it is written well, but the area in which it definitely excels is Billy Taylor's story. You know, the cutie pie bellboy that Ewan plays and who is always bugging out in all of the gifs we make of him. He's young, he's sweet, and he's insanely adorable.

And his story is also the best in the entire show. In my opinion!!

I also cry whenever I think about Billy for too long but we'll get into that later, hehe.

Spoilers for The Halcyon, btw!

If you haven't seen it, The Halcyon is set at a fancy hotel in London just as WWII has come to Britain. Also, fair warning that this post is a little bit all over the place because I have SO MANY BILLY TAYLOR FEELS

At the start of the show, Billy is seventeen and working at The Halcyon as a bellboy. He's portrayed by Ewan as someone who's maybe a little bit... no thoughts, head empty. I jokingly refer to Billy as having big NPC energy when he's in the background of scenes because it looks like he has radio static going through his head whenever he's not being interacted with. And like to think that it's not because it was Ewan's first gig as an actor. I think Billy genuinely is a little bit daft. He's the baby himbo. He's the golden retriever puppy who isn't the smartest in the room but he makes up for it with hard work and dedication and pure sweetness.

I mean, he's only seventeen and he appears to be one of the higher ranking bellboys at the hotel. He's given important tasks like welcoming ~secret guests to the hotel, showing new hires where to go, and personally taking care of high ranking guests' belongings. He's clearly trusted by the management and is, more importantly, very good at his job.

But, bless his heart... Billy can be kind of a mess. He's forgetful and sometimes just plain thick. He loses the family dog of the lord and lady who own the hotel while taking it out for a walk. (Literally how does that happen. Billy.) He bungles the staff poker game by revealing his hand without realizing. He's also a silly little dumbass when he and a couple of the other hotel staff are at the movie theater and see the lady who owns the hotel (who's there on a !secret date) and he straight up points at her from several aisles back with his eyes all bugging out. Be more obvious, Billy!

Billy is young and naive and maybe not the smartest guy around, but you know what? He's good at what he does (most of the time, lol) and he's a damn hard worker.

He's also someone who knows that people are reluctant to believe in him and he clearly doesn't like that. Billy signs up to join the army the moment he turns eighteen and, although we don't see it, his mum Peggy (who works at the hotel as the telephonist aka switchboard operator) mentions to the hotel general manager that there was a bit of an argument between them over it.

“Do you know why he was so upset that I didn’t want him signing up? He thought I was saying he wasn’t good enough.”

He also gets angry with his mum when his call-up papers do arrive. I know I called him daft before, so I'm giving him credit where credit is due - he actually very cleverly notices that the letter should have gone to his family's house, but it showed up at the hotel instead. And, upon learning that he's been assigned to the Royal Artillery instead of what he wanted - the engineers - he knows it was his mum (with the help of the hotel general manager, but he doesn't know that part) who moved things around so that Billy could stay close to home.

He angrily tells her, "I ain't a child no more," and storms out of the room. Billy wants to prove himself. He wants to be a grown up with responsibilities and he wants to be believed in.

You feel for him, but you also feel for his mum, who is watching her only son grow up and enlist in the war effort. At one point, Peggy mentions that she was only 19 or 20 by the time she'd had Billy, so she was a young mother (and still is!). Her worrying and fretting over him clearly annoys him because he's a teenager, but, god you feel for her. We also learn that Billy's dad, Jim, was drafted to fight in the war so she must be out of her mind with worry. I'll get more into my Billy feels as related to his mum in a bit. But I mean... just look at this line of Peggy's after Billy's joined the army:

“I pray. I fuss. I hold him a little tighter each time I see him."

Before I move on, GOSH, Billy is such a teenager when it comes to his interactions with his mum, lol. He doesn't want her fussing over him or being affectionate. He shrugs her off when she tries to fix his collar. He's reluctant to let her kiss his cheek... but he lets her do it anyway, of course.

Speaking of his family, Billy's relationship with his little sister, Dora, is also so cute and I love them. She tells another character that she doesn't miss him once he's moved out to join the army because she thinks he's "annoying" but she really does love him, lbr. And he's clearly very close with her, too.

At one point, their family home is destroyed in the Blitz so Peggy and Dora move into The Halcyon for a while. Billy watches his sister on mornings that he can get away from his army duties. He carries her around piggyback style. He lets her wear his army hat. He calls her "squirt." They're freaking adorable.

There's also a cute little moment during one of the Blitz raids where Billy's mum and sister are in the hotel shelter and Dora is frightened. Her mum tells her to listen for the sounds of the artillery and says, “That’s our Billy. He’s protecting us.”

And he is. Billy is a protector. He's always looking out for the people he cares about. When Kate, the maid he has a crush on, is SA'd by the Count, Billy angrily confronts him and even points the Count's own fucking gun at him. AND HE PULLS THE TRIGGER. He was about to fucking murder this man for doing what he did to Kate!

Billy is a fucking real one. God, he's the best character.

I don't have anywhere specific to put this, but I wanted to mention how much I love the little detail the writers added in about Billy's handiness and interest in machinery:

He is seen chatting with one of the waiters about the guns they use in the war and is later able to correctly identify the type of German plane flying over the hotel.

Later on in the season, The Halcyon's general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the hotel generator and lamenting that Billy was the one who always maintained it before he left to join the army. (I will come back to this later because omg)

Billy himself mentions to his mum at one point that he's planning on helping a neighbor with some things she needs done in her shelter and that he expects it to be a quick job.

When he joins the army, he's put in charge of operating one of the anti-aircraft guns - directing his fellow soldiers and being the one to manually operate the machine itself.

Now that I think I've covered every other Billy feel, I have to talk about... the worst one. The saddest one. His death. /:

I don't know how to say this without sounding like a complete [Michael Gavey voice] loooser, but I can't really think about Billy and his story in this show for too long without... crying? Oof.

I think that's a testament to just how well written his storyline was in this show. They make you care so fucking much about this sweet, innocent, pure-hearted, good to a fault, daft, brave young man so much that, when he dies in the Blitz, it really fucking hurts.

I swear, thinking about Billy Taylor deals psychic damage to me every time.

And I think that, part of the reason that Billy's death hurts so much is because of how it's shown to us. We all know the famous orange scene between Billy and Kate so I'm sorry for ruining it by making it sad, lol. But that scene ends with Kate telling Billy that she'll meet him the next morning to share the orange with him. So when morning comes and the hotel staff are arriving and see Kate waiting impatiently for "someone" who hasn't arrived, your heart fucking sinks immediately.

They don't even tell us about Billy's death by showing Peggy learning of the news. We're told through Kate's POV. He doesn't show up to their meeting in the morning and, when she arrives for her shift, the staff has been gathered around by the general manager. Only then do we learn that Billy was killed by a parachute mine the night before. And we follow Kate to the same closet where Billy gave her the orange, where she's sobbing and cradling the fruit in her hands.

But what's even sadder is that Billy remains a presence throughout the rest of the show. You, as the viewer, grieve him alongside not only his family, but also the people who knew him and worked with him.

When the hotel loses power during a bombing one night and the general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the generator, they're lost for what to do and even lost for words because Billy was the one who always handled the generator. They end up fixing the thing by taking a wrench and banging the side of it because "That's what Billy used to do." And it works. The generator turns back on thanks to Billy. Thanks to the memory of him. And the concierge look up and says, "Clever lad," as though Billy can hear him.

Of course, Peggy spends the rest of the season grappling with the loss of Billy, too. The other characters mention more than once that she's "talking about Billy as though he's still here" and that it's worrying them. Eventually, the general manager sits down with her and she says that she does know he's gone but that it's so hard to believe because she wants to think that he could just walk through the door at any moment.

But, oh my god, the saddest moment of the show for me... is the moment when Peggy is walking through the hallway in the staff area of the hotel and she sees one of the bellboys walking towards her. He has his head down so his face is in shadow but he's about the same height as Billy... and you can see in Peggy's face that she's allowing herself - just for that one moment - to imagine that it's Billy. To let herself think that he's still alive. You're watching her process the scene before her and seeing her think, "Could it be him?" for those few seconds... until she sees the bellboy's face. And, oh my god, it absolutely wrecks me every single time.

Billy's death is the reason that Peggy gives up the one thing she has left - Dora - and sends her away to the countryside along with the other children who are being evacuated from London. Because she can't bear the thought of losing her last living child.

Billy is the character who shows the audience how cruel and unforgiving the war is. That it can take anyone, no matter how sweet and kind and young and good the person is.

And it illustrates the enormity of the chasm they leave behind.

Billy's loss is felt in everyone, from his family to the people he worked with to the girl he had a crush on. AND IT'S FELT IN ME, TOO, GODDAMN

This was so long and I may not have even touched upon all of my feels but thanks for coming to my Billy Taylor TED Talk. I fucking love him. The writers did an amazing job writing him. 10/10, no notes whatsoever. I cry every single time.

He's such an underrated Ewan character and, I know I haven't mentioned it much, but Ewan's portrayal of him is flawless. He's perfect at capturing all the silliness, daftness, and earnestness that makes up our sweet little Billy!

Tl;dr - Everyone should love Billy Taylor!

Aaaand here's another gif of our sweet boy to end this massive post:

#welcome to my billy taylor ted talk #this is a mixture of billy taylor observations #and billy taylor feels #this character deserves so so so much love #billy taylor #ewan mitchell #the halcyon

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ldrfanatic · 1 month

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sitting in the corner i haunt

Theodore Nott x Reader "13" Series pt 4 warnings - depression, angst, blood, theo gets the dark mark, mentions of suicide, cursing

this chapter is written entirely from theo's point of view

to be added to the taglist, comment; Also I was gonna include so much more in this part but then I realized I was already at 2k words and it was long lol

ps sorry stinks but now that the series is starting to really pick up there's gonna be a lot more angst before reader and theo get their hea

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One thing Theo hadn't expected was for you not to forgive him. He'd figured you'd eventually find out about the bet, but he'd also noticed your crush on him a long long time ago. In all honesty, he'd been hoping and praying that you'd be able to forgive him and the pair of you could move past it.

Turns out those hopes and prayers were falling on empty ears.

He'd spent the remainder of the fall term secluded. At first, he tried to ignore Mattheo and Draco, still too mad at either of them for what they'd coerced him into. Finally he came to terms with the nature of his new relationship with you after what could have been was burned prematurely. Another thing Theo hadn't expected was for you to be the type that burned bridges instead of mending them.

Rather than feel his emotions, Theo had taken to drinking them lately. He tuned out of the various famous Slytherin parties and drank firewhiskey until it felt like his head was screwed on backwards. His groupies didn't stop chasing him, but he'd started hexing them in return.

Nothing serious just the occasional bat-bogey hex. And only at the ones that insulted you. Whether or not you wanted to be, you were still the girl that held his heart. And it was unacceptable for anyone to insult you. Mattheo and Draco had learned that fairly quickly following the incident.

As the Express chugged along the tracks and onto Platform 9 3/4, Theo tried to ignore the twisting in his stomach. Ever since his mother passed away in fourth year, his father had become an unbearable rotter. He knew that with the war looming, this break would be particularly unpleasant. As he retrieved his trunk from above his seat in the compartment, he didn't even bother with useless greetings to his friends. The children of Death Eaters were never cheery at the holidays. Everyone was returning to their own personal nightmare.

Theo used to feel bad for Mattheo's home situation. Used to. Until Mattheo really begun to live up to his father's reputation. Then all sympathy he had for the boy really flew out the window. Mattheo had been a perfectly fine bloke until Christmas of fifth year. When they'd returned in January, he was awful. No explanation, no more apologies. Just downright awful.

The moment his boot touched the platform, Theo apparated to his father's estate.

Nott Manor was in the most horrendous part of England. It was ALWAYS dark and cloudy. The sun was shining so bright at King's Cross, it was nearly headache worthy. But the moment Theo twisted down in front of the gates of his childhood home, the skies were dark, and the air was cold.

To Theo's surprise, Nott Sr was waiting at the door when he finally approached the massive structure.

"Theodore, my boy."

Theo was silent at his father pulled him into an awkward hug. He was being unusual cheery and it was rather unsettling.

"Father?"

If Nott Sr noticed Theo's tone at all, he ignored it. A large grin was spread across his face. It wasn't the kind that Theo had been accustomed to when his mother was alive. This one was creepy and made Theo's skeleton want to climb out of his skin.

"It's time, son. The Dark Lord will be rising soon, and he's calling for us to strengthen our ranks to prepare for the coming war. You'll be getting your mark soon Theodore. Finally."

Fuck.

Thunder rumbled in the sky overhead and Theo jostled awake. He hadn't sat with his friends on the ride back. With the burning in his arm and the screams of whatever poor bastard his father was torturing in the house, he'd barely gotten any sleep over the break. In fact, the burning hadn't stopped. His body was apparently just as unfond of the mark as his heart was.

What he hadn't expected was to see you. Sitting across from him in the compartment, reading a book. Your eyebrows were furrowed and you seemed pretty zoned in to the novel. Theo cleared his throat lightly and immediately regretted it as it sent him into a coughing fit.

You passed him a flask that you had. Theo accepted it with a quick thanks and drank, the cool water soothing his apparently irritated throat. "Not that I'm complaining cuore, but what are you doing here?" He tried to appear cool and calm but inside he was freaking out. How long had you been sitting there? What if you accidentally saw his mark?

If you had seen it, you made no indication. In fact, you didn't even look up from your book.

"I was just walking past and saw your compartment was empty. Astoria has taken a fancy to my dear awful cousin Draco and wanted to sit with him and that repulsive boy Mattheo. I'd much rather not for obvious reasons."

Even though you came from a pureblood family, you'd never taken a shine to that blood purity crap. It was something that Theo and you had in common. Something that he admired about you. Despite constant pressures from your other, darker side of your extended family, the Malfoys.

Finally, your eyes made contact with Theo's and he felt his breath leave his lungs. He could no longer hear the soft chugging of the train. He couldn't even feel the damn thing moving. Every sense in his body was tuned into you. Your voice still lingered in his ears even when you weren't speaking. His eyes feasted on every inch of you that they could catch. Your scent filled his nose and intoxicated his brain.

"I do miss you, Theo."

"I miss you too, cuore. I know that we were never really friends before, but the truth is, I'd gotten used to your presence. Without you..."

Theo didn't finish his sentence and you didn't ask him to. After you'd finished your chapter, you closed the book and set it on the cushion next to you.

"How was your break?"

Theo stared at you thoughtfully. He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about his break, hence why he'd been avoiding his friends. At the same time, he'd take any excuse to talk to you. And with his father's words, he'd feared this was his last chance to really converse with you before you positively despised him.

"It was... uneventful."

You stared at him with a look that told him you knew he was lying. Disappointment flashed in your eyes briefly and felt like a knife in his gut.

"We both know that's not true. Draco was boasting about your entire little friend group finally getting their gifts from you-know-who." You shifted in your seat and then leaned forward. The look on your face was so intense, Theo felt that if he looked away, he'd simply burst into flames and die. "But even if Draco hadn't said anything to me, I've had a crush on you for almost as long as I've been alive Theodore Nott. I can tell when you're lying. Especially when you're lying to me."

Theo felt rage building up inside of him. How dare you patronize him like this? You had no right to judge him. You couldn't possibly understand what he was going through. "Whatever. You don't know me, Y/n." He sneered at you. In his heart, Theo was screaming at himself to stop. But even as he saw tears gathering in your eyes, he locked that part of him away. You'd shown him that Theo couldn't afford to be vulnerable. "You've no right to judge me. Following me around for years like some little fangirl. You've no idea what it's like when your father and uncle hold you down while you kick and scream and beg for them to stop. To let you go. To get away from a true monster while he carves his mark into your flesh."

Your face morphed into one of shock.

"What?"

Theo scoffed at your empty question.

"What? That dear cousin of yours forgot to mention the excruciating pain? That he was there with my father and uncle and helped them hold me down so Voldemort could brand me like cattle?"

His questions were rhetorical but it didn't matter. He stood from his seat across from you and exited the compartment at the mark on his arm started to burn. It was time Theodore Nott learned. Feelings were and always would be a weakness.

By the time the middle of the second term rolled around, Theo had come to terms with the dynamics of his feelings for you. He'd learned to push them down and away, and he'd grown accustomed to doing so. Instead, he focused on the task given to him by his father to prep Hogwarts for the Dark Lord to take over. You could still get to him in his dreams and he often awoke with nightmares. You'd appeared to him many times and spewed various levels of nonsense. How you'd never forgive him for this and the like. Usually they ended with Theo consuming enough firewhiskey to put down a horse and then falling into a drunken slumber only to wake up the next day with a hangover from hell.

This continued for a few weeks longer until finally, Pansy Parkinson had enough of his shit. She'd never been a best friend of yours or Theo's, but as a close friend of Draco's she heard constantly about the depression the pair of you had fallen into without one another. She'd figured that she'd have an easier time getting through to Theo than you most likely.

And there she sat. Across the Slytherin Common Room from Theo fixing him with a stare that would make even Nott Sr. rethink his life choices. If monsters were capable of that sort of thing.

"What the hell is wrong with you Theodore?"

"What do you want Parkinson?"

Pansy sighed frustratedly and whacked Theo with her potions textbook before resuming her homework as though she hadn't just left him with a fresh bruise. "I want you to stop being such an idiot. What happened to winning Y/n over?"

"It wasn't working out. Found a new hobby."

"What? Cohorting with the likes of Mattheo Riddle and serving as the Dark Lord's newest little bitch?" Theo glared back at the girl but she continued undeterred. "Besides, if it wasn't working then how come she was in your compartment on the train? That is until you lost your shit on her like a rabid animal."

"She doesn't understand. She never will. Not my fault and certainly not my problem."

"What she understands, Theo, is that she loves you. She always has. And now that she's finally coming back to that, you've gone back to being the insufferable twat that you always are."

Theo lit another cigarette. Pansy eyes rolled so far back Theo thought they might actually get caught at the back of her head.

"She took too long to get there. I've moved on from her."

"Moved on so much that you drink just to sleep and smoke a pack of those disgusting things a day? Moved on so much that when you think no one's looking in potions, you stare at her like she's the only girl in this whole school? Why is it that she waited years for you, and you can't even last a few weeks?"

Theo sat forward and stomped his cigarette out on the cold stone floor. He'd officially had enough of whatever little intervention Pansy thought she was throwing. "Listen Parkinson. This isn't really any of your concern. My feelings for Y/n are a weakness. She's better off without me anyhow."

"Your feelings for her are not a weakness. They are the strength that one day will be the reason you wake up from whatever spell you let your father put you under. You fucked up, and it sucks. But now it's time to grow a pair, and fix it. Or don't. Suffer for all I care but please, if you're gonna die, do it quietly."

Pansy shut her potions textbook and stood from her seat. She marched silently up to the girls dorms. But by the time she'd made it halfway up the stairs, Theo was already gone.

wc 2059

3.31.2024

-- taglist - @moonlightreader649

#slytherin boys #slytherin #theodore nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theo nott #spotify #slytherin boys x reader #Spotify

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centralperkspoison · 10 months

Text

I Can See You - G. Way

PAIRING: Gerard Way x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: sexual references, a little fluffy.

SUMMARY: You and Gerard have known each other for years. When you finally confess to him, everything works out! But how do you keep it as a secret? (Based loosely on I Can See You by Taylor Swift)

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

OTHERS: me posting? whattttt?! this was highly inspired by the song I Can See You by Taylor Swift, so I recommend listening to that while you read. Also, I haven't posted a fic in like a year this is crazy. also!!! not my usual work, not that much fluff just more back story. idk i have wrote in a while so im sorry!

---

YOU KEPT EVERYTHING PROFESSIONAL. You and him only showed your true emotions behind closed doors. You'd brush past each other in the hallways most of the time ensuring to not let anyone catch on.

Of course, you and Gerard were friends to the public eye. You and him were the two lead singers of My Chemical Romance, but what happened behind closed doors stayed there.

You'd moved next door to the Way family when you were fairly young, quickly becoming friends with the two brothers despite the slight age differences; Mikey was three years older than you and Gerard was six years older, which is why in the beginning everything had to be quiet. But of course, you had kept your feelings for the nerdy older brother hidden since you were six, so that wouldn't be too hard.

When the band began recording for Bullets you had just turned eighteen and Gerard was almost twenty-five, which is when it first started.

"Why don't I understand basic song structure," You groaned. "You clearly have it down."

Gerard scoffed, "I do not have it down whatsoever, I just actually ask for input unlike someone who's stubborn as hell." He laughed.

It was only the two of you on the bus, the rest of the guys were inside a restaurant buying breakfast while before you traveled four hours to only record half the album for Bullets.

"Here, bring it over so I can look at it." He said, sitting up on the couch on the bus. You slowly walked towards him, hoping he wouldn't realize who it was about. You silently hoped he couldn't tell, then sat next to him and handed him the lyrics you had written so far. He began analyzing them and handed them back to you.

"It's good, but the bridge should have more meaning. You've described this person in such a beautiful light, then the bridge is just happily ever after? Include some of the struggle in the relationship." You nod, beginning to write. He watches you closely from over your shoulder causing you to face the other way and lay down on him so he could get a better view. This was nothing unusual for you two, it was normal for you to lay on him or anyone else in the band.

You took his words into consideration, then started writing lyrics along the lines of 'If only he knew,' and 'I could see you being my addiction, you could see me as a secret mission.' along with some more context.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" He called, you could feel his heart speed up from your spot on his chest. "Yes, Gee?" You say, looking up at him. "Who is this about?" He asked quietly, playing with your long hair. You dropped your pencil and sat up, facing him. "Is that really important right now?" "I mean not really, I'm just a bit curious." He says with a slight smirk across his face. You just shrug and walk to where you were sitting previously to the whole song structure conversation. Once you sit down, he began speaking again.

"I mean of course the description sounds a little similar, short black hair, hazel eyes, crooked smile," He says, walking behind your chair and gripping it and looking down at you from over the back of the tall chair. "I would say Frank, but his hair doesn't exactly fall under that category anymore, and when you think about it, I'm the only one with short black hair now." He smirks. He already knew, but he was just trying to play around and have a little fun before he had to make his own scary confession.

"God, okay Gerard, the song is about you." You roll your eyes trying to make it come out as if you're not afraid to say it. "Wait, you're actually admitting it?" "Yes, I have a big fat crush on you, now can you please just turn me down already so I can get over it sooner." You sigh, and he walks around your chair so you two are facing each other now.

"(Y/N), I'm not rejecting you," He smiles. "C'mere." He says, opening his arms for a hug, and you quickly throw yourself in his arms. You two linger in the hug for a while before you take a step back and look up at him. You two were so close your noses were touching.

"May I?" He asks, moving his hand up so he's cupping your jaw. You lean into his touch and nod.

After you two established your feelings, your situationship turned into a relationship that ranged from sweet moments to insanely sexual ones, not that you had a problem with that, of course. It was just difficult keeping it from your best friends.

Eventually, fans began sniffing the two of you out. How you would always sit next to each other in interviews, when you were on stage you would always seem as if you were singing to him and he was singing to you, when they watched Life On The Murder Scene every time there was a video on the bus you'd have your legs sprawled out on top of his or you'd be laying on him, and even away from the bus he'd always send you looks.

You started seeing the fans reactions on Twitter in the two of your comment sections.

(Y/N)(Y/L/N): Day off with my boys! <3

mcrlover616: OMG R U AND GERARD DATING

frerard4li4e: Gerard belongs to Frank, girl. Back off.

bugmomma24356: You and Gerard are so cute ug! <3

After trying to cover up everything to the best of your abilities, nothing made them believe you, even your own band mates started thinking the two of you were together, so you two had to act more distant.

No more laying on him, no more lingering hugs, and definitely no more making out on stage just to "make the crowd go wild".

The two of you had to be entirely secret for almost a year now, and it was the first night of your new tour, Rise Against the Black Parade.

Gerard brushes his shoulder against yours in the hallway while you two walk into the dressing room, shooting you a look. "Oh sorry, (Y/N)." He says quietly and slides his arm across your back before sitting two seats away from you in the dressing room.

Makeup took a while, but you and Gerard were the last to finish. Once your artists left the room he sprung up to lock the door, and quickly met you in the middle of the room.

He rested his hands on your hips and you hand your arms on the back of his neck, while he pressed his lips to yours aggressively. You parted from him for a moment, "Now don't go messing up our makeup," You smirked. "We can fix it ourselves." He grunts, picking you up and placing you on the counter.

The two of you were in there for a total of five minutes before someone started knocking on the dressing room door, causing you to jump like two teenagers caught by parents. "Hello? Who's in there, we need to change!" You hear Frank say from the other side of the door. The two of you quickly check your makeup to make sure it wasn't messed up, then you walked to the door to unlock it before turning to Gerard.

"You know, if stopped hiding... it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." You said and he began to shake his head. "The age difference, (Y/N)." "It's six years, Gee. At least it's not like twenty or thirty like some other couples." You say, causing him to shrug. "I guess it's not the worst thing in the world."

You walk over and unlock the door allowing Frank to come in with the costume cart. Once he realized it was the two of you he gasped. "You?" He said pointing to Gerard, "And you?" He said pointing to you. You turn to Gerard and tilt your head. "Yeah yeah, big deal." He said walking over to wrap an arm around your waist. That night was one of your best shows yet. You two started showing affection on stage once again, you put your emotion back into your lyrics, and you even got a chance to preform the song you wrote for Gerard that started the whole relationship.

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rinskazuu · 1 year

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genshin men as songs in my playlist

aether, albebo, al-haitham, itto, cyno, diluc, kazuha, kaeya, ayato, heizou, childe, thoma, tighnari, scaramouche, xiao, and zhongli

these are written romantically, but if you want to view them as platonic, you can try.

cw: angst w no comfort, fluff, varies depending on character and song i chose. some of these are written in first person, some in x reader form, you can view them however you like!

a/n: initially, i was going for songs fitting their personality, but i accidentally made kaeya and childe's angsty, so i remade them. also, this took so long, for absolutely no reason.

AETHER- hold on by flor

throughout the journey aether's been on in teyvat, all he does is help nations, people, archons, you name it. but i want to be his escape, someone he can hold and be comfortable with. for a moment, i want him to worry less about what's going on outside, and just close his eyes. he's so selfless, and i believe he deserves the same treatment in return.

♡

ALBEDO- something about you by eyedress

you’re just so mesmerizing and beautiful to albedo, that he can’t help but feel subjected to paint you. you’re always catching his breath, from the way your eyes glint when you’re talking about your interests, to the way your body sways when he accidentally catches you dancing in your room, while he’d been busy with his experiments. he just cannot keep his eyes off you.

♡

AL-HAITHAM- out of time by the weeknd

al-haitham would most definitely let his pride get in the way of your relationship. he’d also prioritize his dying love for knowledge over you. the moment you leave him, and he finds his closet half empty, he’s drowning in guilt. he’s reaching for you, but you’ve moved on, and now it’s too late for him to hold you again.

♡

ARATAKI ITTO- always forever by cults

itto is the type of man to boast about you to everyone, having never said anything negative about you. he’s the type of man to snuggle you, and tell you every night how grateful he is, and how happy you make him. he’s going to tell you, that from here on out, you’re stuck with him, and that you’re two peas in a pod.

♡

CYNO- the one that got away by katy perry

cyno isn’t as much of a tsundere as the fandom writes him out to be, so this doesn’t sound fitting. but i feel like his role as the general mahamatra would definitely play a bad part in your relationship. he’d be too busy to take you on a date, or too tired to accompany you to an event. it’s not until you’ve left, that he’s realized he’s neglected you for too long.

♡

DILUC- be kind by halsey

with diluc, i imagine wanting to take his burdens off his shoulders, and comfort him, reassure him. i want him to rely on me, and be comfortable enough to come to me to talk. it makes me sad, how isolated he is, or rather, how he felt the need to isolate himself.

♡

KAEDAHARA KAZUHA- old love by yuji & putri dahlia

not only does the melody suit kazuha, but so do the lyrics. there's not a lot that kazuha holds dear, simply because he wanders a lot. he moves from place to place, and you're one of the only stable aspects of his life. he will always return home, to see you.

♡

KAEYA- midnight rain by taylor swift

i feel like kaeya would suit taylor’s perspective in the song. you wanting to settle down, but kaeya can’t love you for too long, because he's holding a major secret that is threatening yours and potentially teyvat's safety. you’re the sunshine, and he’s the midnight rain. he’ll have to leave you soon, but for now, he’ll let you hold him.

♡

KAMISATO AYATO- still with you by jungkook

ayato is not only head of the kamisato clan, but he’s a commissioner too. he’s used to running things mostly by himself, because he had to take care of his little sister alone, and rebuild the kamisato clan from the floor. he’s often isolated, completing work, but at the end of each day, i want to remind him, that we are in fact together, and any challenges he faces, are mine to struggle with too.

♡

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU- enchanted by taylor swift

heizou is a man who can easily sweep you off your feet, with his charm, pretty smile, and his skills as a detective. he can read your feelings and the type of person you are. he knows exactly what to do to reel you in. your love is enchanting, so unique, and will last for an entire lifetime, if not more.

♡

TARTAGLIA- save your tears by the weeknd & ariana grande

i know we kind of ignore how unhinged childe is, but i want to acknowledge it. he doesn’t know how to love or be loved, which leads to him not knowing how to comfort you. he’s going to hurt you, mentally/verbally, often. he’s going to tell you to stop crying, instead of holding you, or call you dramatic, instead of snuggling you in bed and encouraging you.

♡

THOMA- i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys

thoma is often busy, since he works for a commissioner, and one of the most well known and respected clans in inazuma. he sees you a lot, whether it's running errands, or accompanying one of the kamisatos somewhere. he's in love with you, and he'd do anything for you. but for now, he needs to focus on his duties.

♡

TIGHNARI- sweet by cigarettes after sex

even though he's a busy man, tighnari still makes plenty of time for you. he's sweet and smooth with his swords, easily swaying you. he makes it known, to not just you, that he loves you to the ends of the world. he knows how to make you swoon, from taking days off to pick flowers for you, to having deep talks with you in the shower. he's always thinking about you, even picturing your smile while he's off gathering gifts for you.

♡

WANDERER- space song by beach house

after regaining his memories, and even after his redemption arc, scara will still have major trust issues. wanting to there for him isn't a crime. but because of his trauma, he's going to keep pulling away from you, and pushing you farther from him. no matter, you're not going to give up, and you want him to feel loved and comforted.

♡

XIAO- be there for you by nct dream

xiao is one of the most obvious characters with a traumatic backstory, and i believe i want to be there for him the most. it's not going to be easy, since he's lived 1000+ years. he's used to being on his own, and all he knows is how to protect, and kill. but for once, i want him to rely on me, and for him to breathe a sigh of relief.

♡

ZHONGLI- wildest dreams by taylor swift

as an archon, zhongli has been alive for over 6000 years. even though he's given up the title, and is now living a normal life, he will always remain an immortal. eventually, you will pass on, and zhongli will be alone again. regardless, he's going to spend every waking moment with you, until your very last breath. he will cherish your love for the rest of eternity, even if you're not physically there.

i do want to add, i have so many taylor swift, the weeknd & chase atlantic songs, but didn’t think the last 2 would be as fitting as taylor’s. i have 150 songs & this does not define my entire playlist, there are so many genres. i just happened to make them romantic/angsty..

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55sturn · 2 months

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ SNAP OUT OF IT: CHAPTER 0.02

↳ series masterlist! ↳ main masterlist!

↳ summary: in which a small argument snowballs into something much larger. tensions grow high only a few hours after re-meeting and some repressed memories are revealed much earlier than anticipated.

↳ pairings: college!matt sturniolo x fem!reader

↳ warnings: swearing, smoking [weed + cigarettes], cocky!matt, matt not realizing who the reader is, flashbacks.

↳ important things to note: starts out with reader’s pov, then will switch to matt’s pov, followed by switching to third person pov, and then back to reader’s pov.

READER’S POV

“what’s wrong sweetheart?” he hums, a smug grin on his face as i feel his eyes trail up and down my body as his tongue clicks. i scoff, pushing the door open, and making a beeline for the door with a sticky note of my name on it.

“wait how the fuck do you know my name?” i hear him call out from his room which was across the short hallway from mine, causing a sharp pang rush through my chest.

he really doesn’t remember me?

how the fuck can he forget the girl he said was his favourite in middle school? i know i look different from how i did at the end of high school but i didn’t think i looked that different.

i dismiss the thoughts and questions with a scoff, walking back to my doorway as i stare at him, watching as he shifts uncomfortably under my gaze.

“maybe my name will ring a bell.” i spit, ripping the sticky note off my door, shoving it against his chest before leaving the dorm, not bothering to watch his reaction.

as i swiftly begin my way back to jocelyn, i felt my entire body begin to shake with anger. no matter where i was in life, no matter what i was doing, matt found a way to taint those moments and memories, i had thought moving to cambridge would be a break from his ghost constantly haunting every corner of my mind. i thought that once i got out of boston, he would be nothing but a distant and blurry figure in the back of my mind.

but i guess fate had another plan.

jocelyn sits on the hood of her car, talking with someone, more than likely flirting her way into making him do all our heavy lifting, making me snort as i unlocked my car.

“couldn’t last twenty minutes without seeking your next victim?” i tease, watching as she throws her head back laughing, a quick shrug following as she hops off her hood.

“please i will not be hooking up with chris, i was just shocked to see him here.” she hums, causing me to freeze for a moment before turning to face him.

“chris.” i nod, quickly busting myself with a couple bags and a box, trying to steady my hands.

“long time no see y/n, nick and i miss you, ya know.” chris quips, making my shoulders fall as i sigh.

“well if you plan on visiting your brother, you’ll see me a lot more.” i mumble, watching back toward the doors as chris and jocelyn trail behind me, each of them carrying a box of mine.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“it means that the universe hates me and gave me the worst fucking dorm mate in existence!” i chuckle, however i found very little humour in the situation at hand.

“no fucking way.” jocelyn cackles, knowing exactly what i meant as we made our way down the hallways, stopping in front of my dorm.

“welcome to hell! please enjoy the visit!” i huff, my voice laced with dry sarcasm as we enter the dorm, matt leaning against the counter, a half finished cigarette in his hand as jocelyn fails to hide her snort.

“i thought you were joking but you’re actually living with him?”

“unfortunately.” i scoff, walking off to my room, placing bags and box on the bed, before returning to the kitchen.

“jocelyn.” matt nods, a grim look as his face as she stares him down, her arms crossed as her eyes dart around his face.

“matt. you still look like shit.” she quips back, her expression matching his.

“and i heard you’re still a slut, guess some things don’t change.” he laughs, causing her to bite back a laugh.

that was one thing about jocelyn, she would dish it out and take it just as well, she was one to let any and everything roll off her back because she didn’t care what people thought of her. it was the one thing i envied about her, but being so close with her has definitely helped me learn to take things with a grain of salt.

“hey y/n, about earlier, i’m sorry. you just look a lot different from the last time i saw you, it took me a second to recognize you.” matt murmurs, his eyes holding an indescribable expression, i tilt my head and watch him with a blank expression before speaking,

“you act like i give a flying fuck, matt. now make yourself useful and butt that out, we don’t need to get in shit the first night.”

after a while, jocelyn, chris, and i had finally moved everything from our vehicles to the dorm, and jocelyn made herself at home on the couch while i began unpacking.

“hey joce, classes don’t start for a couple more days, do you mind staying and coming shopping for dishes and other important shit tomorrow?” i hum, placing my skincare and makeup bags in the bathroom.

“you know i’m down.”

“try not to catch an infection the first night you’re here.” matt speaks from the kitchen, causing her to roll her eyes.

“hate to break it to you matt but the only infection i’d catch is from you and there’s no fucking way i’m touching you with a ten foot pole.”

“hey man, i’m clean.”

“not what i heard from the chicks you’ve fucked back home.”

“you know, you and chris would be perfect for each other.” matt snorts, rolling a joint on the counter as jocelyn chokes on the water she was drinking.

“why do you say that?”

“you’re both whores who love to sleep around and are scared of mature relationships.”

“like you know anything about maturity, mister “you’re my favourite girl and always will be.” only to go back on your word the day freshman year ended just because some bitch broke your heart.” jocelyn snaps, causing me to drop the the bottle of perfume i held, the sound of it clattering against the ceramic sink snapping jocelyn’s attention back to me.

“jocelyn what the fuck?” i exclaim, watching as her brows creased, an look of remorse covering her features.

MATT’S POV

as soon as the phrase “you’re my favourite girl and always will be.” left jocelyn’s mouth, i felt my ears turn hot and my mouth run dry as clattering echoes from the bathroom.

“jocelyn what the fuck?” y/n exclaims, her voice cracking with hurt as the memory of my eighth grade promise comes rushing back to the both of us.

“you know jocelyn, i’ve never seriously held the fact that you sleep with anyone who looks your way against you, but that comment? that was fucking low, even for you.” i bite, grabbing my keys and wallet from the table, quickly leaving the dorm, making quick strides toward my car.

i couldn’t be around either them as i kept picturing the day i promised y/n she would always be my favourite girl and the day i told her i could never date a fucking loser like her. the images of her eyes full of love followed by images of her eyes welling with tears filled my mind, i needed to get away from those memories, so i grabbed the joint i stuck behind my ear during the fight i had with jocelyn and lit it as i drove around the city.

THIRD PERSON POV [SUMMER BEFORE EIGHTH GRADE]

it was the summer before eighth grade, y/n, jocelyn, and the triplets were all gathered around the triplets’ cape house yard. everyone’s parents had agreed to one big final sleepover before school started in three days. they had all decided they wanted to camp-out in the cape house backyard all in their own shared tents.

matt and chris were sharing, nick and nate were sharing, and y/n and jocelyn were sharing, and that was decided by the parents.

as everyone sat around the fire matt looked at y/n, he smiled, excited to start his last year of middle school with her. they had known of each other since kindergarten but they didn’t became friends until that summer when nick and jocelyn started hanging out more.

“hey y/n/n?”

“yeah matt?”

“you’re my favourite girl and always will be. i don’t really like a lot nick’s friends that girls but you’re really cool.”

“thank you matt, promise i’ll always be your favourite?”

“pinky promise.” he smiled, sticking out his pinky, watching as the girl hooked hers around it, shaking their hands back and forth slightly.

THIRD PERSON POV [FIRST DAY OF FRESHMAN YEAR; AFTER SCHOOL]

y/n bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited outside the triplets door, wanting to hang out with matt and hear about his day, and hopefully confess her crush on him. she hadn’t really heard much from him that much this summer and she missed her friend.

“oh y/n, what are you doing here?”

“just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out.”

“uh sure, come in i guess.” matt sighs, opening the door, letting y/n step through.

a couple hours pass and matt seemed to be in a better mood than he was when she first got there.

“hey matt can i tell you something?” y/n whispers, fidgeting with the bracelet she wore as matt sat up, his back against his headboard as he nods, gesturing for her to continue.

“i like you, like a crush, and people have told me that you might like me too.”

“who said that?”

“jocelyn and nick.”

“well they’re wrong. i could never like a dorky fucking loser like you.” matt spits, rolling his eyes as her jaw drops. she felt tears start to well along her waterline as she stands up, quickly exiting the room, letting matt’s door slam softly, both literally, and metaphorically on their friendship.

READER’S POV [CURRENTLY]

i watch matt leave in a hurry, his brows furrowing in anger as jocelyn stands in the living room in shock, not realizing how far she overstepped.

“i’m sorry y/n, he just infuriates me, especially with the way he acts as if he never knew you at all and that he never did anything wrong, and on top of that, he acts like pretentious jackass that’s better than everyone.” jocelyn pleads, her frustration over everything that’s happened with matt pouring into every word.

“it’s alright, joce.” i sigh, already dreading the moment he comes back. if there was one thing that was i count on when it came to matt, it was the fact that he would hold a grudge, he would hold onto fights with an iron fist grip. if he was mad at you, he would make sure you knew for days on end until he was over it.

and i knew that the moment he came back, he’d direct his anger at me.

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#Spotify #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo oneshot #matthew sturniolo oneshot #matthew sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo angst #matthew sturniolo angst #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark acamedia #academic rivals to lovers #rivals to lovers

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amalia-writes · 2 years

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Complicated (Conrad Fisher x Reader)

Summary: Y/n is belly’s best friend and goes to cousins with her every summer, this summer Conrad seems to be ignoring Y/n and paying attention to Belly.

Pretty much just confessions at night and bad communication skills

Warnings: underage smoking, mentioned underage drinking, make out session, and slight swearing.

4.3k words

"Belly, Y/n!! Conrad, Jer, and I are heading down to the beach!" Steven yelled from across the house.

Both you and Belly were currently fangirling over Andrew Garfield because well... it's Andrew Garfield. You had been sitting in the living room watching Spider-Man when Belly, who was walking past you, saw Andrew on the screen and started gushing over him. Which was totally understandable because Andrew Garfield was a sight for sore eyes.

But you knew the moment that Steven had yelled that Conrad was going Belly would immediately go with them. And you were right because the second that Steven said his name Belly jumped off the couch and scrambled up the stairs to change.

"I'll meet you guys down there!" Belly yelled as she was running up the stairs.

You, the moms, Steven, and Jeremiah all knew about her crush on Conrad that she's had since forever. In fact you're pretty sure the only person who didn't know was Conrad. Although, to be fair, you thought Conrad liked her back.

You spent a lot of time watching the two of their interactions and you could tell he has a soft spot for her. Who wouldn't thought? Belly was one of the sweetest girls you met. You also watched them a lot because Conrad barely interacted with you anymore.

You were Belly's best friend and you had been Belly's best friend since the fourth grade. It all started when Taylor asked you to hang out with them because Belly thought you looked lonely. Since then the three of you had been incredibly close. You were sure you had gotten a little closer with Belly than you had Taylor because in the 7th grade Belly asked you if you wanted to spend the summer in Cousins with her and family friends. Ever since then you've been spending your summer in Cousins with the Fishers and Conklin's.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Jeremiah, who decided that sitting on and suffocating you was a good idea. You screamed and smacked his back multiple times in hopes that he'd get off of you.

"Jeremiah I swear to God if you don't get your fat ass off of me I will murder you!" You yelled struggling to breathe as you continued to smack him.

"That's funny Y/n because if anything I'm the one killing you right now." He laughed and you could feel the vibrations from his back.

You attempted to take a deep breath and gathered all the strength you had (which wasn't a lot) and pushed him off causing him to fall to the ground.

"I just wanted to ask if you were going to the beach. You were so deep in thought my only option was to sit on you." You heard him mumble.

You rolled your eyes and then peered over at the ground where he was laying and couldn't help but giggle when you saw him laying face flat on the floor. He sat himself up and looked at you probably waiting for a response.

You sat up straight, "I'm not sure. I'm kind of tired today, so I think I'm gonna stay here."

Jeremiah stared at you, his eyes narrowing. You shrunk in the couch because you never were one for eye contact.

"You're lying." He said. "You just don't want to go because of Belly and Conrad."

Your eyes widened and you jumped of the couch to cover his mouth, quickly taking a look at your surroundings. Your eyes moved back to his and you narrowed your eyes this time.

"Jer, you can't just say that in the living room, someone could have heard! Plus it's not because of that." You responded, realizing you still had your hand on his mouth you took it off and wiped it on the couch.

You had a secret. A secret that no one knew besides Jeremiah. You had also liked Conrad along with Belly. You didn't develop a crush on him until last year. The reason you developed said crush was because your mom had been diagnosed with cancer and even though they caught it early, it was still hard to deal with. But, Conrad was one of the first people you told and he had really been there for you that whole summer. Luckily, your mom was doing chemo now and the doctors said that if she continues with chemo she'll beat cancer.

You refused to tell anyone though because you knew that Belly had a huge crush on him and you were pretty sure he liked her back or well at least this summer. But Jeremiah had found out after you had gotten drunk and decided that telling Jeremiah how miserable you were was a good idea. That was two weeks ago. And since then Jeremiah had been teasing you every chance he got.

"No one's here and I'm pretty sure it is because of them. I've noticed they've gotten a little more friendlier with each other too." Jeremiah stated.

You cringed at Jeremiah's words. You hugged yourself trying to get rid of the dread you felt in your stomach. You assumed Jeremiah had noticed as he put a hand on your shoulder. You tried to think of an excuse to stay inside but couldn't think of anything.

"I think Conrad's ignoring me, I haven't really talked to him in forever and it feels like he's distancing himself from me." You whispered. Jeremiah's face softened.

"Y/n, im sure that's not the case, Conrad's been like that all summer, I'm sure it's okay. But, you need to get out there and have fun. You've been cooped up in the house since you got here."

Jeremiah was right. In fact he was right a lot. You knew that sitting around and overthinking over a boy wasn't how you wanted to spend your summer. You smacked Jeremiah's hand off of you before standing up and walking away.

"Ow! What was that for?" Jeremiah yelled as you walked up the stairs.

You stopped and turned to look at him. "That was for almost suffocating me." You told him before spinning around and walking to your room.

You heard him mutter something along the lines of 'you being mean' and you couldn't help but snicker at his childishness.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

You were currently walking incredibly slowly to the beach. It was less than a one minute walk but you wanted to delay getting there as long as possible. You didn't really want to see Belly and Conrad together.

You had noticed that this summer Conrad had started to pay more attention to Belly and less attention to you. Since you had a crush on him you were paying attention to his interactions with her and you always noticed that he would brush his hand against hers or take something out of her hair. Almost like it was an excuse just to touch her. But he never did that with you.

You sighed as you continued to walk looking at your surroundings. You had made your way down to where everyone's towels were and set yours down with theirs. You noticed everyone playing in the water together and smiled. You guys never really hung out as much as you used to.

You watched as Conrad threw Belly into the water. His arms were on her waist and the both of them were laughing. Your stomach twisted in jealousy. You didn't know the Fishers as long as Belly did and you didn't have the same relationship that they had with Belly. And it made you upset.You knew you had no right to be jealous and whenever you felt jealous you'd feel terrible.

Jeremiah must have noticed you standing there because he was waving his hand to call you over. You smiled and ran over jumping straight into the water.

You tensed up feeling the cold water as you tried walking to everyone else.

"Holy shit the water is so cold." You said.

Jeremiah laughed as he made his way over to you. And let's just say you know what that meant. You tried to run away from him but with his long legs and your not so long ones he was easily catching up to you.

"Somebody help me, get this madman away from me!" You screamed continuing to run away.

The rest of the group laughed and watched the ordeal unfold and you glared at them every chance you got. Jeremiah finally reached you and picked you up just to drop you face first in the water again.

You stood up in the water pushing your hair out of your face and splashed Jeremiah. Jeremiah splashed you back and the two of you started laughing with the rest of the group. You turned to look at belly and noticed Conrad looking between you and Jeremiah. You heart beat a little fast because Conrad's jaw was clenched and all you could think about was how hot he looked. Conrad made eye contact with you but you looked straight at Belly instead.

You made your way over to him and Belly while Steven went to talk to Jer. Conrads eyes stayed on you the whole time. His eyes roamed your body and you wanted to cover yourself immediately. Although you knew it was a good idea to wear the two piece that Susannah had given you. She always did have good taste.

"Hey Bels, hey Con." You said to them trying to look only at Belly.

"I thought you weren't going to come, what changed your mind?" Belly asked.

You laughed. "Jer forced me into coming. Told me 'I was too cooped up in the house'."

Belly laughed alongside you but Conrad just stared at you. You felt a little uncomfortable with him staring and you noticed Belly staring at you too. You realized that Belly was hinting toward you leaving so she could talk to Conrad.

"I actually have to go clean my room. So I'll talk to you guys later." Belly smiled at you mouthing a 'thank you'

You smiled back and started to walk away. You were upset, Conrad didn't even say hi to you. He never really talks to you anymore. He doesn't pay any attention to you.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

It was currently 9:30 at night. You had just woken up from a nap that you had decided to take after dinner. You were still a little drowsy as you made your way down the stairs, careful not to trip.

You peeked your head into the living room and noticed Belly and the moms watching a movie. You decided to go into the kitchen and see if there were any snacks.

You noticed a plate of brownies and decided to take one. Standing next to the counter while eating your brownie, you looked outside and noticed Conrad sitting by the pool. You looked to see if any of the others were out there with him but he was sitting out there alone. You had decided you might as well talk to him.

You finished your brownie and walked to the sliding door, careful to make sure you didn't disturb Belly and the moms. Successfully opening the door you walked over to Conrad. Conrad looked to see who it was and gave you muttered a 'hi' when he noticed it was you.

"Hey Con, can I sit?" You asked not wanting to invade his space.

He nodded is head and you moved to sit next to him, dipping your feet into the water. The two of you sat in awkward silence and as you looked at him to say something you saw him lighting a cigarette.

"Since when do you smoke?" You raised your eyebrow and tilted your head to the side.

"Since this summer." Conrad answered, his voice raspy and a little deep.

You nodded, mainly toward yourself. Con had never liked smoking before, he always told you that it was harmful and bad for you.

"Can I take a hit?"

you were sure he'd say no but it was worth a shot. You had smoked before, obviously not that often but you still had done it. Conrad moved his head to look at you, shock clear on his face.

"No, you're only 16. You shouldn't be smoking."

You stared at him, eyebrow raising again. He stared back and you could feel yourself getting a little flustered so you made the decision to look away.

"I could say the same for you, you're only 17. Let me just take one hit." You asked again. Hoping he'd change his mind.

Conrad rolled his eyes before giving in. You knew that he knew you wouldn't give up until he let you smoke it. He handed you the cigarette, your hands brushing during the interaction. He watched as you brought it to your mouth inhaling and then exhaling. You tried not to cough and to push the burning you felt building in your throat. A second later you felt relaxed as the buzz hit you.

"I'm surprised you didn't cough. I thought for sure you would."

You looked at Conrad a big smile of pride on your face. Conrad couldn't help but chuckle at the excitement you had when he told you that. You didn't know how you were functioning, because Conrad's laugh was too much for you. He was too much for you.

"Where's Jer and Steven?" You changed the subject, genuinely curious as to where they were.

"Probably out partying right now. You know how they are."

Your eyebrows furrowed. Normally Conrad spends most of his time partying too. Although you had noticed that he wasn't really going out that much this summer.

"Don't you like to party Conrad? I've noticed that you've been staying in the house more often. Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong, just got more important things to focus on." He mumbled.

You didn't say anything but you had notice how his eyes had become saddened when you asked when something was wrong. You wanted to respect his privacy and not push him.

"Con, can I ask you something?"

He nodded his head instead of answering because of the cigarette he was currently smoking. You started to fiddle with your fingers. You were going to ask him about Belly.

"You don't have to answer or anything but I was just curious and I noticed how you interact with Belly. But like I said if you feel uncomfortable at all then just tell me and it's totally okay." You were rambling, you did that when you were nervous and to make it worse Conrad was staring at you in confusion. "But I was just wondering if you had feelings for Belly?"

Conrad looked fully shocked now. You felt a little embarrassed and awkward, but his answer would be worth it. But you were not expecting his response, or the smirk that formed on his face.

"Why? is my little y/n...." He paused and moved into your space, where you could feel his breathe against your ear, "....Jealous?"

He finished his sentence and if you weren't blushing and a nervous wreck before you were now. You could smell his breath and it smelled of cigarettes and alcohol.

"W-what? I don't know what you're talking about Conrad. I was just curious." You breathed out.

You were nervous-no nervous was an understatement. He was still in your personal space but he had moved back so he could look at you. You had never seen him look at you like that. Like he was really looking at you.

"To answer your question. I don't know." He sighed turning away from you to run a hand through his hair.

You felt your heart drop. What does 'I don't know' even mean? You couldn't tell if you were sad or relieved; maybe it was a mix of both?

"Oh." You tried you hardest not to make your voice crack. But you’re pretty sure it did.

Conrad turned to look at you again. But you refused to look at him. Why would he assume you were jealous? Unless... He knew, knew that you like him. After his little comment you'd be more surprised if he didn't. It would also make sense that he'd be ignoring you if he knew.

"Do you know?" You whispered. Too embarrassed to look at him. But you felt his stare burning holes through your head.

"Do I know what?" Conrad whispered back.

Conrad wasn't answering and you knew that he knew what you were talking about.

"Don't play games with me Conrad." You snapped. Upset, you had a feeling he knew what you were talking about.

Conrad let out another sigh. "Yes I know."

All of the sudden you felt cold. You wrapped your arms around yourself and took a deep breath in. You felt like you were going to cry. You didn't even know why you were about to cry. Maybe it's because you felt embarrassed he knew?

"How long?"

"Since you told Jer." He said.

"Did Jer tell you? Is this why you've been ignoring me all summer?" You had hoped not. Because you would've been so disappointed in him. Jer knew how much you liked him.

"Jer didn't tell me, I was walking by when you admitted it to him." Conrad's head hung low as if he were ashamed.

You sighed in relief. At least Jer didn't say anything. But Conrad knew. He knew that you liked him.

"Is that why you've been distancing yourself from me? Because I like you?"

He nodded in response and your heart broke. He knew and he ignored you and you're sure he knew that you were watching him. Watching him interact with Belly. Your best friend and the girl he might like.

"You didn't even have the decency to tell me? You just thought ignoring me was the best decision?" You voice broke. You weren't crying but your voice was betraying you.

"Y/n I-" you cut him off.

"No Conrad. You were off flirting with Belly in front of me when you knew I liked you. I understand that you don't feel the same way but were you really that repulsed by me liking you that you decided to ignore me?" You felt a tear drop from your eyes.

"I can't be around you right now." You scoffed and stood up to walk away.

Conrad was still sitting but he grabbed your wrist. "Y/n wait." You turned to face him tears flowing freely now. His facial features softened at you crying. You attempted to wipe the tears away.

He let go of you and you let out another scoff and walked away from him.

You walked into the house and straight up to your room. Sitting on your bed, you wiped away the tears that were on your face. You weren't going to sit around and mope over a boy. Deciding to call your mom you picked up your phone and clicked on her number.

The phone rang for a few times before the line went through.

"Hey mom! How are you? I miss you."

"Hey sweetie, I'm good. Tired but good."

"That's good, how's Chemo?"

You bit your tongue nervous for her response.

"It's good, the doctors are telling me that in a few months I should be good to go! But enough about me, how's Laurel, Susannah, and the kids?"

"That's good that chemos going well. And everyone here is good! We're all having a really fun time here in Cousins."

"That's good baby, I have to go, but I promise to call you tomorrow. I love you. Stay safe"

"I love you too mom."

You end the call with your mom and lie down on your bed. You just stare at ceiling where your glow up stars are. You don't know how long you were laying there when all of the sudden you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in!" You yelled not moving from your spot.

The door slowly opened and you looked to see who your visitor was. And of course, it's Conrad.

"Actually never mind, don't come in." You mumbled.

Conrad rolled his eyes and continued to make his way in, sitting down on your bed in the process. You turned to your side so you wouldn't have to look at him.

"What do you want?" You grumbled not in the mood to be around him.

You felt his hand play with your hair. He always did that to you when he felt nervous, although he hadn't done it this summer because, well, he hadn't been talking to you. You still felt yourself shiver, it was Conrad after all, and you still did have feelings for him.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I just didn't want to hurt you." He finally spoke after a minute of silence. His fingers still playing with your soft hair.

"Well you did end up hurting me." You bit your lip and you could feel his gaze on you but you refused to look at him.

"I don't like Belly."

Those four words gave you hope. And you felt terrible for thinking that but it did. You felt your heart beat a little faster and your palms got a little sweaty.

"I don't need to know that information. Even then if you don't like her, don't string her along. She deserves someone better than you." You told him. Angry about his little interactions with Belly.

"I know. Look y/n, the reason I acted that way with Belly was because I was trying to like her. I wanted to like her. But," he paused unsure if he should continue.

Your interest was peaked. You had caved and turned to your other side so you were facing him. You looked at him with curiosity about what he would say next. He was refusing to make eye contact with you.

"But I couldn't..." he paused again, taking a deep breath before continuing, "...because of you."

Your eyes widened and you sat up, now directly facing him. You saw a hint of red on his cheeks and you definitely felt your heart beat spike and your stomach was doing somersaults.

"What? What do you mean because of me?" You questioned, wanting to get it out of him.

He moved a strand of hair out of your face, his fingers brushing against your cheek and tingles followed behind him.

“What I mean is that, I like you, y/n." He whispered his eyes never leaving yours.

You sat there staring back at him too shocked to say anything. After a moment of silence, you cleared your throat.

"Why were you ignoring me then? Why didn't you tell me?" His eyes held guilt.

"I didn't want to hurt Belly by confessing to you."

You stomach dropped. You had forgotten about Belly for a second. Forgotten about her feelings for him. If you and him started to date, she would be crushed.

"I can't do this with you, Conrad we would crush her. She's my best friend I could never do that to her." You spoke, you were upset but you couldn't choose Conrad over her.

"I understand that, but just know it'll always be you. I've had feelings for you since I first met you." Conrad responded.

His hand cupped your cheek, thumb slowly moving back and forth. You leaned into his touch enjoying the moment. He had started to lean forward, until your foreheads touched. The both of you stared at each other. Your breathing the only thing heard.

"We can't do this Conrad." You had tried to convince yourself more than him. But your head inched closer towards his.

Finally after what felt like a decade, but was probably only 1 second. Your lips touched. It was soft and sweet. It only lasted two seconds before you had pulled away breaking the kiss.

"I really can't do this." You shook your head and Conrad nodded in understanding.

Your foreheads were still connected and right as Conrad was about to give you space, you had grabbed him by the shirt to connect his lips with yours. This kiss was passionate and more intense. His lips were just as soft as they were before but this kiss? Oh god this kiss was so much better. You had let out a small moan giving Conrad a chance to find your mouth with his tongue. Your hands moved from the collar of his shirt to his hair. Conrad's hands were all over you body, from your back, to your hair, to your neck, and to your face. It's like he couldn't get enough of you. You had gently tugged a handful of his hair causing the two of you to bump noses.

The both of you broke from the kiss and let out goofy smiles. Conrad gave you a quick kiss before pulling away completely. You looked at his lips and noticed they had become swollen. You were breathing a little heavily as was he.

“That was…nice.” You said sheepishly, becoming more flustered than you already were.

Connie smiled and laughed at your response to the kiss causing you to swat him in the chest telling him it wasn’t funny. He caressed your cheek and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

“I really like you Y/n and i understand you not wanting to hurt Belly, I don’t want to hurt her either. But I won’t give up on this. On us.”

You gave him the biggest smile you had.

“Thank you Conrad. But for now I think we should just enjoy the moment. I don’t want to think about anyone else but you.” You kissed him on the cheek.

He nodded before kissing you once more. This one more slow. You knew that the both of you had a lot to work out. But right now you were focused only on him. Everything else could come later.

#conrad fisher #team conrad #conrad fisher x reader #tsitp fanfic #tsitp x reader #belly conklin #jeremiah fisher #steven conklin #the summer i turned pretty #angst #tsitp #fanfiction #jeremiah fisher x reader

921 notes · View notes

starrysvn · 1 year

Text

how you get the girl - park seonghwa

"say it's been a long six months and you were too afraid to tell her what you want. and that's how it works, that's how you get the girl. and then you say; i want you for worse or for better, i would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, i'll put it back together, i would wait for ever and ever"

pairing: park seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you really really squint

word count: 1.8k

warnings: hwa being dumb

author's note: thank you so so so much to @hoonieversed for proofreading this for me, you're literally an angel <3 this is quite literally a brain rot generated by cutting up strawberries while listening to how you get the girl by taylor swift and thinking of seonghwa,,, yeah.

masterlist | navi

Six months since he disappeared from your life leaving a hollow right in your chest. You would be foolish to say that you did not want him anymore even after so long, even when he left without an explanation.

“I just think we don’t work anymore.”

That was all he had left you with, no more, no less. And what could you do if not let him go? You couldn’t force him to stay with you if that was not what he wanted anymore. It hurt like hell, but you foolishly kept telling yourself that he would be back if he really loved you. Delusion? Perhaps. Some “if you love them, you have to let them go” type bullshit. That was what you chose to believe. What you had to believe to not fall apart.

Seasons came and went; he broke your heart in the icy winter, you learned to fill the hollow in your chest by spring - as the cherry blossoms that reminded you so much of him blossomed - and by the beginnings of summer, you liked to believe you were alright, sort of. Now, you would be lying saying you did not want answers for whatever was on his mind when he broke up with you. You also started hating the part of you that still loved him - that still cared - anyway.

The cashier’s cough pulled you from your thoughts, looking at you expectantly once your eyes focused back on them. Right, you needed to pay. You handed over the cash with a sheepish smile, quickly accepting the change and picking up the bag of groceries. Faced with the automated doors of the supermarket you sighed in surrender; the rain was unforgiving tonight. You made a beeline for your car, muttering curses under your breath for forgetting your umbrella.

A short car ride later, and another mad-dash under the downpour, and you were in the comfort of your apartment, sighing in relief. After a hot shower, you put together a quick dinner to enjoy on the couch; a little treat to end the horrible week coming now to an end.

Only, when you turned on the TV, his favorite movie was playing. You let out an exaggerated groan of frustration, more so because, once again, you thought of him. Only the pitter patter of the rain outside gave you small comfort, like it always had. You switched to Netflix quickly, a bitter taste in your mouth upon realizing stupid, trivial things like these could still get a reaction out of you. And it was safe to say that your mood only soured when the doorbell rang, interrupting the near-perfect peace and quiet of your apartment. You sighed, getting up, wondering who it could be so late at night.

Apparently, the last person you expected it to be.

“Are you insane?” were the first words that left your mouth upon seeing him standing at the entrance, big brown eyes pleading and wet like a dog. Not bad for the first interaction you had with him in six months.

Seonghwa stood there like a ghost, hair wet and clothes clinging to him as if he had walked under the rain to get there. Had he? You stood there, looking in each other’s eyes, trying to have a silent conversation.

Are you just going to stand there and not say anything?

Please, let me in, let me explain.

Why should I?

Conflicted, you still cracked the door open a little wider. His eyes lit up for the briefest of moments but he stood his ground, refusing to move until you said so. You jerked your head, motioning him to come in. You couldn’t just turn him away.

“Hold on” you said, disappearing down the hallway only to emerge a minute later with a big towel and slippers. He silently accepted them, quick to discard his wet shoes and quickly pat his hair down after closing the door behind him.

You stood, stealing glances, not really knowing what to say given the absurdity of the situation. This was not what you had planned for the night in the slightest. Your head was just about to explode with the amount of questions spinning around in it. You thought you’d never see him again.

“I’m sorry for showing up out of the blue,” his voice was quiet and low and you couldn’t help but scoff. “It’s been a long six months and I… I wanted to talk.”

“Talk?” shocked could barely cover what you were feeling right then. He wanted to talk? “Couldn’t you have texted?”

Seonghwa must have sensed the frustration in your voice, you saw it in the way his shoulders sagged a bit.

“I was walking by and-” he sighed. “I don’t know, I just wanted to see you.”

Oh, this was rich.

“Weren’t you the one who suggested not doing that ever again?” you crossed your arms, voice accusatory. You could not believe this in any capacity. You sighed, after all, wasn’t this what you wanted all along? For him to show up and give you answers? Looking back at him and seeing him stand there, a little lost, a little afraid, made your heart twist. You silently led him to the kitchen, where he sat and waited as you fixed up hot tea for the both of you.

“I was afraid,” he said, still not meeting your eyes, when you set his cup down in front of him. Your eyes widened a bit, not expecting this from him at all. You sat down, suddenly with shaky legs.

“I was too afraid to tell you what I really wanted,” finally, he looked at you, that familiar look of sadness in his eyes making your heart speed up the littlest bit. “Which I don’t know how translated into me leaving you, I must’ve lost my mind. I’m sorry.”

There was a part of you, the one who had kicked in when he left, that was resisting against it. That was reminding you of all the ways you had grown to be without him, of how you could do it alone. Then there was another, a bigger, part of you pulling at your heart, saying that yes, you could live without him, but you did not want to.

“I don’t know if sorry will cut it, Seonghwa.” Despite this, you felt yourself giving in, which you still were not sure was a good thing.

“Don’t you miss it?” he asked, leaning closer. Your breath hitched. “How things used to be when we were together? I do. I miss waking up to you, talking to you, hell, I just miss you.”

Of course you did, who were you trying to kid. You missed how he always made sure to pack your lunch when he packed his, how he knew to hold you a little tighter when you were stressed beyond belief and whispered sweet nothings in your ear until you fell asleep. When you came back home after a long day and found that he had let himself in with his spare key, and was waiting for you with a warm meal ready. And how after, a little tipsy from the wine, he would suggest dancing. How you would not have time to answer that he was already pulling your giggling figure off the chair and into his arms, gently swaying around the kitchen as he sang softly.

He was so attentive, so loving, everything you ever wanted. You missed loving him, being loved by him.

“Why?” you despised the tears burning in your eyes, blurring the sight of his face. A beat of silence. You blinked, letting the tears fall, seeing him in no better condition.

“I was afraid I needed you more than you needed me,” he whispered. Your heart gave a painful tug in your chest, mind racing, asking how could he believe something so untrue.

Silence hung thick in the room and Seonghwa started doubting his decision of showing up. His heart was beating to the rhythm of the word stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course you wouldn’t want anything to do with him after he broke your heart in such a way, of course you would have nothing to say to him anymore. But something inside him broke, and all that he had kept bottled up for months came pouring out of his mouth in a shaky, stumbling rant.

“I never wanted anyone else but you. I want you for worse or for better, and I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I would wait forever for you. I won’t be the same idiot again. I should’ve talked to you back then and I’ve been kicking myself over it all this time.”

And there they were, the words you had wanted, yearned, to hear for six months. Big, brown, desperate eyes staring at you and all. In them, you searched the love you were so used to seeing, a soft gasp leaving your lips when you found it.

“I know I broke your heart but let me put it back together again.”

You sat, numb, words failing you, as you let your emotions wash over you like a bucket of ice-cold water. There was no doubt in your mind that you still loved him, that you wanted him. Floored by the apology of the century, the wildest dream of anyone wanting their person back, you didn’t notice the hopeful look in his watery eyes vanishing, his shoulders dropping.

“I’ll go,” Seonghwa smiled curtly, beginning to stand. You pulled him back down by the hand, heart beating so loudly in your chest that you were afraid he was going to hear it.

“I don’t want you to,” his eyes widened upon hearing your words.

There were a lot of things you knew Park Seonghwa to be, and one of them was being genuine. He had never lied to you, not now, not when he left you. Yes, he should have talked to you, but even then he had acted on what he believed to be the truth.

“Really?” his voice was barely above a whisper, eyes searching for any indication of the opposite on your face.

“Seonghwa, you quite literally got the girl,” a small smile tugged at your lips as he still looked at you, lost. “You better know how to keep her this time”

His wide, beaming smile melted your heart, you had not seen it in a while. You hoped you got to see it forever. You pulled him into you and he happily welcomed you in his arms, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You felt his tears wet your skin, just as yours were his shirt.

“Please never believe that I don’t need you, Seonghwa,” you whispered against his chest.

“I promise.”

Seonghwa knew this hurt he put you both through was all his fault. Of all the mistakes he had ever made, giving you away was his worst one yet. He would never let go of you, never again, not when you were the only thing he had ever gotten right.

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bruhhhh-huhhhhh · 3 months

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i’m in need of junkerqueen angst and this is another song one, if you don’t mind of course.

You’re losing me - Taylor Swift

you may not be into her music which is perfectly fine just hear me out with the lyrics on this one.

“Do something, babe, say something. Lose something, babe, risk something. Choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe, unless you're choosin' me”

you see my vision here? the heart breaking angst that could be written here 🙏🙏

trust

You're Loosing Me (Junkerqueen x reader)

Things hadn't been normal in a very long time. You didn't know what it was, but something just wasn't right. The love of your life hadn't been around as much as when the two of you moved in together.

The two of you were inseparable at first. She took you everywhere, even to confidential meetings. There was nothing you didn't do together. But a year or so back, she started acting weird. At first you thought it was just her being stressed out from work, so you tried to be patient. To be someone that she could talk to.

But nothing changed.

If anything, it got worse.

Odessa started staying out much later than you were used to. She didn't parade you around town as much. Didn't take you out at least once a week. Didn't let you go to meetings with her to let you sit on her lap while she made jokes about what people were saying.

Instead, it was you staying at home. You’d do laps around the house just to be able to move around. Wash the dishes and dry them and put them away and then decide to re organize everything because it didn’t make sense how it was. Decide that the way that you did it was dumb and then put it back to how it was originally. Then look at it again and decide that both ways were stupid so you re did it again. You’d wipe down counters and mop floors. Make the bed and then re-make the bed after you decide to lay down.

But nothing helps the ache in your chest. Nothing helps the way that you long for your girlfriend to be with you. To have her make you laugh. To have her pepper you in kisses and tell you how she loves you.

To have her

One day you decide you’ve had enough. You can’t wait around for her to realize how you’re feeling. Anytime you try to talk to her about it she’d just brush it off and say, “we’ll do something together soon.” But soon never came. Soon was some intangible thing that you could never seem to reach, always being pushed back. It was always right there, so close. But it was also always so far away, ungraspable.

So you write a note. It has every emotion that you’re too scared to tell her in person. Every time that she left you to your own emotions. Every time she left you to comfort yourself.

Every time she left you

Every time she decided that she had better things than you.

You, who waited until ungodly hours of the morning for her.

You, who was always there for her.

You, who wanted nothing more than for her to choose her the way you chose her.

You, who loved her more than anything.

You, who never got that love back.

Everything you wanted to scream at her was right on that piece of paper. Every emotion you could never seem to verbalize before was there.

But, of course, Dez took that time to come home early.

She had already been having a shitty day. No clue why, but she had been. She woke up from sleeping on the couch, not wanting to risk waking you and hearing your endless questions, and went to go make coffee like she normally did. Except she couldn’t find her mug because you kept moving it, so she had to spend half an hour looking for it, only to realize that you had set it out by the coffee maker. Then she spilled it on her lap, making her have to change clothes. The shower blasted her with freezing cold water randomly. She couldn’t find the pair of clothes that she wanted to wear to a really important meeting. She was then late to said really important meeting.

All in all, her day was shit.

And it got worse when she say you at the same counter where you left her coffee mug, writing a note with bags packed. Her heart dropped into her stomach.

“What’re ya doin?” Dez asked.

You jumped, not expecting her to be home, and cringed as you turned around. You were just re-reading the note for the millionth time, trying to convince yourself to throw it away and go back to your room.

“I’m…I’m leaving, Odessa.”

“…what?”

You never used her full name. Never. It was always Dez or Dessa or “My Queen.” Never Odessa.

“I said I’m leaving. I can’t take this anymore.”

“Can’t take what? Living in the luxury that I provide for you?”

The venom in her words shocked you. It was unexpected and hurt a lot more than you thought it would. Apparently the walls that you had built up to prevent this weren’t as effective as you had hoped.

“The luxury that you provide for me isn’t what I want, Odessa. I want you. But I can never seem to have you anymore. You’re always out doing something else. Sleeping on the couch to avoid me. Telling me that we’ll do something together soon and then soon never comes. I’m tired of it. I can’t…I can’t live like this.”

Your words shocked the both of you. Odessa looked at you, a mix of shock and concern on her face. But that mixed look changed to rage. How dare you?

“Excuse me? I have a whole damn country to run. Pardon me for not being able to spend every waking moment with you. What is it that you do, anyway?”

Your sorrow quickly changed to rage at her words. “What is it that I do? I make sure that you come home to a clean house. I clean everything a million times over. I go and get groceries and then make your breakfast, lunch, and dinner out of said groceries and then go and get more. I make sure that the water in the shower is hot enough so that you can take as long as you may need to destress. I offer myself as comfort and solace for you, but you’re “too busy” to pay any attention. I’m fucking done! I don’t deserve this! God fucking damnit, Odessa, open your eyes!” You shouted back.

The queen in front of you just stared in shock. You’d never, ever spoken to her like that.

Ever.

When she didn’t respond, you got angrier. “Jesus, say something. Do something, Odessa! I need you to choose.” Your voice softened. “And by god I need you to choose me. I need you to choose me so bad because you’re my everything. You’re my everything and I don’t know who I am without you. But if I’m not your everything too then I’m leaving.”

Still, Odessa didn’t say a word. It was like her mouth was glued shut. Tears had started streaming down your cheeks at some point and you angrily wiped them away. “You’re about to loose me and you won’t even any anything. Great to know. Goodbye, Odessa Stone. Goodbye.”

And with that, you were gone. You’d picked up your bag and walked out the front door, slamming it behind you. All while Odessa just watched.

It was after you left that Odessa came to her senses. Everything in her screamed to chase after you, to beg you to come back. But what good would that do? Instead, the giant of a woman slowly walked to the counter and read your note.

She couldn’t even finish it before the tears started. She sobbed as she read how you were feeling. As she realized what she had been doing to you. God, she deserved this.

She had all of Junkertown and yet she couldn’t even keep you.

Odessa sunk to the floor, clutching the last thing of yours that she had as she cried.

#why did you make me do this #overwatch #overwatch 2 #junkerqueen simp supreme #junkerqueen x Reader #overwatch2 #overwatch x reader #junkerqueen angst #overwatch Angst

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softguarnere · 8 months

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Hi hi! I would love to see something where reader is a nurse and Dick runs into her while she’s restocking some of the supplies and is just immediately smitten

Blushing All the Way Home

Dick Winters x reader

A/N: (This is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) The title for this one comes from "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift, because how could I not? I hope you like this, Anon, and thanks for the request! Warnings: mentions of war

With a dramatic sigh, Elizabeth, one of your fellow nurses, drapes herself across a stack of boxes. Starry-eyed, she stares out of the tent, watching the comings and goings of the men outside. “It really is too bad that a lot of them won’t be coming back,” she says.

“Oh, hush!” Another nurse, Martha, objects. Her hands fly to the cross around her neck and she rubs it between her thumb and forefinger. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

Still gazing towards the men outside, Elizabeth shrugs. “There’s a war on. Men die in wars. Some of them are bound to go.”

Before a full-blown argument can break out, you interject. “So it’s a good thing they have us. And all the medics and doctors. Who knows? Maybe you’ll catch a handsome man’s attention while patching him up.”

Elizabeth nods enthusiastically, finally tearing her focus away from the men and bringing it back inside the tent. “That’s what I’ve been thinking! Wouldn’t it be romantic?”

“No,” Martha says evenly as she closes up the box that she’s just finished packing. “It would be better off to have a husband that’s all in one piece. Now, are you going to stand around sighing after men who don’t even know you exist, or are you going to do your job and pack these boxes?”

You catch yourself before you can roll your eyes. Elizabeth, however, doesn’t even try to hide her annoyance. Yes, she might be overdramatic, but sometimes you really can’t blame her – Martha is something of a pessimist.

Just for an excuse to get away from the two of them, you grab the box that Martha has just shut and make for the exit.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get this one!” you call over your shoulder. “You two keep working.” As soon as you’re out of the tent you drop the forced smile, allowing your face to relax as you sigh. Maybe you can get “lost” while delivering this box just to give yourself a longer break from hearing those two bicker.

The plan begins to form in your mind. But before you can work out the logistics of it all, you turn a corner and ram into someone with your box. You both exclaim in surprise as you stumble backwards, the box in your hands slipping from your grasp. At the same time that you lunge forward to save it, the other person does too. Your hands meet, his settling under yours as you adjust your grip on the box.

“Got it?” The man you bumped into asks.

“Yes, thank you. I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Most of the fault is probably mine – walking too fast, distracted.” He smiles, and for the first time since your interaction began, you realize that the man you ran into is handsome. Tall, with a head of reddish hair that you’re sure to remember. But he’s got a kind smile, and more importantly, it reaches all the way to his eyes. Despite the fact that you crashed into him, he seems to be in good humor.

You smile back at him. “I was doing the same. We can just split the blame, fifty-fifty, and call it even.”

“That sounds fair . . .” The man’s voice trails off, his eyes flicking to the box in your hands. Only then do you realize that his hands are still touching yours, still helping you hold the box.

Huffing a small laugh, he removes them, moving back into his own space. For a moment the two of you stand, not speaking, but smiling. Surely there’s something that you could say, though. Every thought that pops into your mind seems silly, though – or worse, the recurring memory of what Elizabeth said keeps coming back to you. It really is too bad that a lot of them won’t be coming back. How do you know who will return from combat?

Finally, the man before you clears his throat. “Where are you taking that?”

“Oh, just over to the other aid station.”

The man holds out his arms. “Would you like for me to carry it for you? I mean, it only seems fair.”

No, it’s fine, I’ve got it, dies on your tongue. Handing the box off to him, you nod. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t catch your name,” the man says as the two of you start off.

“(Y/N). (Y/N)(Y/L/N).”

“Well, it’s nice to mee you, (Y/N). I’m Dick Winters,” he says. Now that he’s moving, the morning sunlight glints off the bar on his collar. Lieutenant Dick Winters, it would appear. Other men might have flaunted that rank, made it the first word out of their mouths. Not Dick, though. Interesting.

The two of you make idle chitchat as you walk. All too soon you reach the aid station. Dick deposits the box with the nurses working there. If he notices the way that they gawk at the two of you entering the tent together, he’s polite enough not to comment on it. Your fellow nurses on the other hand, seem to have plenty of comments that they would like to make. The two of you have no sooner stepped out of the tent than you hear whispers break out behind you.

“So,” you say, trying to drown out the voices behind you. “Where are you off to?”

Is it your imagination, or does the lieutenant let out a little sigh as he thinks of going off to whatever duty awaits him?

“I’ve got a meeting,” he says. “And you?”

“Back to the other aid station,” you answer. “Packing more boxes. Maybe crashing into more men, but I’ve yet to decide about that last part.”

He laughs. Not the small, polite laugh he had earlier, but a bright one that sounds jolly and clear. It’s contagious. “Well, maybe after my meeting is done, I can come crash into you again? Maybe I could help move those boxes.”

Your brain feels like it’s full of exclamation points when the meaning of his words fully hits you – he wants to spend more time with you! No amount of effort could contain your smile. With other men you might try to hide it, but you allow Dick to see.

“I would like that very much.”

Dick stops walking. You’ve come a sort of crossroads within the camp, that place where people have to make choices, to part ways, or start on a new path. The one that you stand at doesn’t seem nearly that full of poetic symbolism, though, because something about the look on Dick’s face tells you that he will be back as soon as this meeting is over. He doesn’t seem like a man who would leave someone waiting.

“I’ll see you later, Lieutenant Winters,” you say.

“You can call me ‘Dick.’”

“Okay. Then I’ll see you later, Dick.”

He offers you a small nod. “I’ll see you later, Miss (Y/L/N).”

“Oh, you can call me (Y/N).”

“Then I’ll see you later, (Y/N).” With that, he takes his leave, heading off to his meeting. For a moment you stand, watching him go, only to see him glance back over his shoulder at you, still smiling as he walks away.

Only when he’s out of sight do you take your own leave. Martha and Elizabeth will ask where you’ve been, what took you so long, but they don’t need to know. They’ll figure it out soon enough. When Elizabeth, at least, sees the handsome lieutenant, she won’t be able to stay mad at your tardiness. You had been planning to stall returning to the other nurses, after all, and this certainly was the best way you could have done it.

You blush all the way back to the aid station, trying not to get your hopes up for what might come next, but still daring to dream.

#band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #dick winters #dick winters x reader #hbo war #hbo war fanfic #my writing

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