#i just really miss being a part of a fandom where the show was airing!!!!!! when it's active!!!!!!!!!!!

[princip1914]

I recut the kiss from Good Omens to emphasize Aziraphale kissing back. I already posted the longer version (yes, I have made alternate cuts of my kiss alternate cut, yes I know this is ridiculous) but I realized I liked it in shorter gif form better. After the cut is the OG kiss for comparison and some notes on my process.

Edited Kiss:

Original Kiss:

On the longer version, I had some people ask what I changed. Essentially, what stood out to me when I saw the original version of the kiss was that it was just so...choppy. Particularly, the cut right before they break apart where we go from Aziraphale's hand on Crowley's back to him waving it around in the air, just didn't look natural to me. The original version seems to splice together several takes of a shorter kiss, with some pieces of the kiss out of order from how it was probably acted:

In the first cut of the sequence we see Aziraphale from over Crowley's shoulder and his eyes are open and he looks shocked and uncomfortable, then he relaxes into the kiss a bit and closes his eyes and his hand comes up to Crowely's shoulder and caresses it. My guess is this is the sequence and duration of the kiss from start to (nearly) finish as it was blocked and acted. But the kiss as it appears in the show is much longer than the acted kiss. From that first cut of Aziraphale's face seen over Crowely's shoulder we go to:

A wide cut where Aziraphale is waving his arm in the air and looks uncomfortable--likely filmed at the start of the kiss from a different angle and then spliced in.

A close up of Aziraphale stroking Crowley's back which seems to me to come from the end of the kiss, once he has relaxed into it. (This is the one all the girlies are gif-ing and yeah, it's a great shot so I'm glad the fandom has gone wild for it!)

Another shot from the relaxed bit of the kiss which is a close up on their faces with Aziraphale leaning in a bit

The last shot of the kiss where Aziraphale's arm has come off Crowely's back again and he's waving it in the air and looking uncomfortable as Crowley pulls away. I think this shot may actually also be from the start of the kiss, or it is actually how the end of the kiss was blocked out, but if so there's a section of it that's missing because we don't see how Aziraphale's hand moves from Crowley's back (shot 3) to waving in the air. This isn't really a continuity error as presumably Aziraphale has been moving his hands around during shot 4 while the viewer was being treated to a close up of their faces, but it registers as a continuity error because the emotional vibe of shot 4 is Aziraphale starting to get into the kiss and lean in, while the hand off the back in shot 5 makes the viewer feel like he is pulling away and uncomfortable again.

In editing the sequence, I simply moved pieces around to try and tell a story that was more emotionally coherent, with Aziraphale starting shocked and uncomfortable, relaxing into the kiss slightly, and then stepping away. I chopped up the long sequence in shot 1 and used the relaxed part of it instead of the beginning of shot 5. I also switched shot 3 and 4 so that we see a wide cut where Aziraphale looks uncomfortable and his hand is visibly in the air, to a close up shot of their faces where he starts to get into it. Then we are in the home stretch with the tender hand on the back and then Aziraphale's face as he holds Crowley close to him (formerly the end of shot 1) before they break apart.

[queenofbaws]

! Pride Month Challenge 2024 !

Well hi there, everyone! With May winding down to a close and June just around the corner, it's about that time again...the time where @jadedsunshine, @unicornaffair, and I host our yearly create-a-thon! 🥳

What's the Pride Month Challenge, you might find yourself asking? Well, this year it's a little bingo game we've put together, featuring some classic tropes. The aim of this particular game? Make something!!! Anything! Just get those creative juices a-flowin' and see if you can snag a B-I-N-G-O along the way!

This challenge is open to everyone and anyone who wants to take part, whether you know the three of us or not! We're going to be using the tag #pridemonthchallenge2024 for the stuff we create, so if you decide to join in on the fun and games, feel free to stick that tag on whatever you make, too! If you're interested in more details, you can check below the cut or reach out and ask ;)c

Either way, happy almost-pride, and happy creating!!!

I don't write fic - can I still participate?

Ab. So. Lutely!!! We've done this challenge for a few years now (we've missed a year or two for weddings and other life stuff, whoops!), but in the past we've had people doodle, sketch, draw, make edits, create props or other physical art, and even curate playlists! The three of us are writers, so you're very likely to see fic or ficlets from us...but you? Oh. Oh, you can do whatever your heart desires!!!

Are there word limits/expectations for a finished product?

NO!!! :D Zero. Literally zero expectations. We aren't putting together an exchange, we aren't holding a competition, we're just trying to get the spirit of creation in the air. That's it! So whether you're writing 50 words or 5,000, whether you've made a rough sketch on a notebook page or fully lined/colored a scene, you're good! You're so good. As long as you've made something, you've earned a stamp on that bingo card, baby!!!

What if I don't want to do something fandom-y? Can it be OCs/original work?

OF COURSE!!! 100%. You don't even have to ask!!! Show the world your OCs! Tell the world about your story's worldbuilding! It's all fair game :)

What if I don't want to post what I made?

Don't sweat it! Again, this is...the farthest thing from official. This is for fun, and this is for the sake of making something. Sharing your work can be nerve-wracking - don't feel like you have to! We'd love to see you playing along with us, of course, but as long as you've made something that you're proud of, you've earned that stamp! No ifs, ands, or buts!

Is it cool if my creations aren't necessarily pride-themed?

Totally! We host this challenge during pride month because (1) it traditionally works better for the three of us than NaNoWriMo because of our schedules, and (2) we're queer creators ourselves! But if you're feeling a prompt and can't find a way to make it relevant to pride, PLEASE don't sweat it! As I've been known to say (and then get laughed at for saying), this challenge is no rules, just right, Outback Steakhouse :P

Let's say I get a bingo...what do I win?

:) Nothing. <3

Wait, really?

:) Really <3 Hehehe, in all seriousness, this challenge has been a fun way for us to sit down, take our minds off of life and our bigger projects and just...make some fun stuff! In our humble opinion(s), being able to point at a finished piece and say "I did that! I made that!" is its own kind of reward. The bingo board itself is really more for bragging rights ;)c Which, of course, we encourage wholeheartedly. Nothing wrong with a little bragging!!!

We hope to have you along for our month-long adventure! Again, we're going to be using the tag #pridemonthchallenge2024 for our own stuff, so if you'd like to use that tag - or tag any of us!!! - in whatever you end up creating, feel free!!! We love seeing what everyone comes up with, and this challenge is always so much more fun, knowing other people are taking part! <3 Hope to see you along for the ride!

*The bingo board was made by the lovely @jadedsunshine 🥰

[turtlevariabilis]

My story with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

[Español]

When I graduated from preschool, I was gifted the class pet: a red-eared slider turtle (now almost 20 years old and even has a similar companion). From that moment on, turtles have become part of my identity. If someone asked me about my favorite animal, of course I would say turtles. They are very interesting animals that do interact with each other and with humans; they have an enviable perseverance, enormous curiosity, and ninja-like abilities (they are fast, silent, and enjoy climbing, to throw themselves and performing some really strange acrobatics).

Well, today I'd rather tell you my story with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and how I came to be part of this fandom. It's actually a somewhat long story, but it has some funny details, and it's a way for you to get to know me a little better.

So, since turtles have always been a part of my life, it should have been natural for me to encounter the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from a very young age, so I got to know them through the tmnt 2003 version. And yes, of course, they appeared on television and I was curious about protagonists being turtles... but the series didn't resonate with me.

When you're young, what you need are stories that you can somehow identify with, which is why the best stories will always be the ones that are most diverse in every possible way. And of course, any version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is already a statement towards accepting what's different, promoting diversity. But this wasn't enough for me back then.

I was a girl who wanted to see girly things, shows with interesting female characters. And honestly, from what little I had seen of tmnt 2003 (maybe just a few scenes from an episode), I only spotted male characters except for April, who was an adult (so I preferred to watch Teen Titans). However, I already had my favorite turtle identified: the one with the purple mask, simply because it was my favorite color; funny how that hasn't changed.

When I was almost the age of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the tmnt 2012 series premiered on Nickelodeon. It didn't catch my attention either. However, my sister L, almost three years younger than me, insisted that I watch it. So I did... and I guess I loved it. Because that's how my story with the Ninja Turtles began. That's how I met them.

My sister L and I were always on the lookout for when the series aired on TV; we literally ran to watch it, to make sure we didn't miss anything. And I confirmed that my favorite turtle was Donnie, but I actually loved them all.

A few years later, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (2014) was released... I couldn't see it in theaters, but I was very excited about it, even though I knew it had nothing to do with the tmnt 2012 version (which I was very hooked on), and that's why I was a little disappointed. Plus, I hated how they sexualized April.

So yeah... you could say I was obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and although I hadn't realized to what extent, my parents and my two sisters did, so my 16th birthday party (just with these people) was themed around it as a surprise. They inflated green balloons, hung them up, and put on masks in the corresponding colors, and we ate pizza. They put a mini 2012 Donatello toy on my cake, which I still have. Now that I think about it, it was an intimate and very nice party... however, I don't like to show my tastes, so at that moment I did feel uncomfortable and dared to express that I would have preferred a normal party, instead of expressing how incredible it was, because it really was incredible. (What can I say? Although I have always been well-behaved and never caused any problems of any kind, I was also a teenager).

At that time, I was still following the tmnt 2012 series, and I used the internet to keep up with each new episode. I reached a point where I became impatient and had to watch the episodes as soon as they premiered, meaning I had to hurry to watch them on YouTube before the videos were taken down, even if that meant watching them in English and in poor quality.

I had a terrible level of English and I hardly understood anything. But doing this greatly improved my level, and I also started to take my English classes at school seriously to understand the episodes. Without exaggeration, everything I know about English is thanks to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Nowadays, I have a very solid intermediate level, and I still continue to improve thanks to them.

Still in that level of obsession with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I obviously searched for more on the internet, on YouTube specifically. In one of those many videos I watched, scenes from the tmnt 2007 version caught my attention. That rivalry, that epic battle between Leo and Raph, captivated me. So I watched that movie, and although I didn't find it good overall for several reasons, I was deeply moved by the story between the brothers.

But let's go back to the tmnt 2012 version. The ending of the third season was one of the most shocking endings I've ever seen. And when the fourth season premiered and the turtles were in space... that's exactly when I lost interest. And I really don't know why, since I really like science fiction and everything related to the universe. Maybe it was because I stopped understanding what was happening (remember I was watching the episodes in English). I don't know.

After that, from time to time, I would feel nostalgic and curious about this series, so I would watch a random episode here and there (in general, I'm not good at watching series; I'm capable of watching only the episodes that catch my attention, sacrificing understanding the overall plot). And when I found out it ended, I looked for the last three episodes of the fifth season... and they left me feeling really bad with that dystopian, hopeless, but realistic ending. It's horrible, but I guess that's what I liked the most. Let's admit it, we all like to be masochists.

Later, I sort of saw that a new version had been released with colors too vibrant for my taste and a 2D animation with too much hyperactivity that didn't catch my attention. Yes, I'm talking about the rottmnt version, released in 2018. Nowadays, you don't know how much I regret not paying attention to it.

Years passed and 2023 arrived. At the beginning of that year, I realized that we had Paramount+, and that meant that the tmnt 2012 series, in Spanish, was complete. And my younger sister R hadn't been able to watch it because she had been too young at the time. So I felt like introducing it to her, and that way I could watch the entire series in the right way.

It was like watching a marathon: we finished it all in less than two months, despite our various commitments (she had school and I had work, making it very difficult to coordinate schedules). Suddenly, my obsession returned, very intense. It was the only time that I've had the same obsession in two very different stages of my life. But I still wasn't open to discovering new versions.

(You're going to laugh at what happened next).

My sister L, the one who initially introduced me to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, seeing how much I enjoyed reconnecting with them, insisted that I watch the movie of the rottmnt version, which was on Netflix; she said it was very intense and good, well worth it, but that I had to watch it with an open mind because it had many radical changes.

Much to my dismay, very resistant and with my mind as closed as possible, I watched this movie. And yes, it was very intense and all, but I concluded that I didn't like it. I didn't feel like those were my turtles. Despite that, I watched it again... and then again and again. It's like the character of Donnie caught my attention a bit. It's like the animation wasn't as bad as I had initially thought. It's like the intensity they conveyed was starting to appeal to me. It's like it was somewhat entertaining. It's like I was starting to like the characters a bit and was beginning to identify and even understand them.

And suddenly, even though I kept insisting to myself that I didn't like this new version, I started watching some random episodes of the series... until I began watching them in order... and then I would rewatch some episodes that I had liked... I mean, it's just that there was no one to stop me and I had to stop fooling myself! The rottmnt version had many different things, but it was very well-crafted and very good. Of course, I loved it! And currently, for me, it undoubtedly surpasses the tmnt 2012 version by many reasons that I won't comment on this text.

When the official content of rottmnt ran out, I needed more. So I searched on the internet... and suddenly I got caught up in some fan-made comics... and then I found myself on Tumblr... and then I started to become interested in more versions and began watching them (like the first season of tmnt 1987, some episodes of tmnt 2003, I watched the tmnt 2007 movie again as well as Batman vs. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which I didn't mention, but I had seen before because I had a certain period in my life when I loved Batman).

And all of that was at the beginning of the year 2023, because then the trailer for the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem appeared, which was going to be released in a few months. I had no idea that a new version was coming out that year, and it came just in time to keep increasing my fan skills. Of course, I went to see it in the cinema and loved it, although rottmnt is still my favorite version.

And nowadays, in 2024, I still feel like one of my central thoughts is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I want to keep learning more about them, both the old versions and the new ones that are coming. And I really look forward to continuing to contribute my bit to the fandom with this account. Hopefully, this will also be the year when I can finally watch tmnt 2003 properly.

And it's funny, because suddenly I know many references from many versions and I love that, although I know I have a lot to catch up on. For now, I've never stepped into the realm of comics, and I still don't know if I ever will.

Because I'm just a fan, and those of us who are fans of something should be so on our own terms, without the pressure of anything or anyone.

I've run out of words and I don't know how to conclude this text, but if you've made it this far, wow, I'm impressed! I send you lots of greetings and good vibes, just as Mondo Gecko would say.

•💜•

[worth-this-and-more]

๋࣭⭑⚝ hiii i'm sukanya and welcome to my blog yall!!! ‹𝟹

age: 18 (doesn't give you permission to be weird) sexuality: bisexual pronouns: she/her favorite colors: red, black, purple favorite flower: roses my hobbies: reading books, listening to music, reading books while listening to music, learning new stuff because of the aforementioned books, obsessing over fictional characters, cooking, dancing, stargazing at night by sneaking out at 3 am because my parents don't allow me to go at night as i will "catch a cold", slaying my enemies in a brutal show of blood and glory, coding.

fandoms i'm part of: the legendborn cycle, percy jackson, shatter me series, artemis fowl series, lord of the rings, the inheritance games, folk of the air series, sea of ink and gold series, six of crows, a good girl's guide to murder, divergent chronicles, the secrets of immortal nicholas flamel series, harry potter series, fantastic beasts and where to find them, twilight, the mysterious benedict society, married to magic series, miss peregrine's home for peculiar children, the gilded wolves series, royal secrets series, royal lies series, the splintered series and more

fictional characters i would sell my soul to at a discount the discount being free because i would never make them pay: briana matthews, selwyn emyrs kane, alice chen, juliette ferrars, aaron warner, nazeera ibrahim, kenji kishimoto, jude duarte, cardan greenbriar, inej ghafa, kaz brekker, avery kylie grambs, alexander hawthorne, jest, artemis fowl, holly black, hermione granger, ginny weasley, credric diggory, newt scamander, rosalie cullen, noor pradesh, jacob portman, josh newman, sophie newman, pip fitz-amobi, ravi singh and probably more but you get the point

things i absolutely adore: people becoming so excited when they talk about their favorite things, loving the absolute shit outta my friends, cooking anything and everything for those i love, listening to our shared playlist and explaining in great detail which part of the song is your favorite things i absolutely hate: anyone's opinions that disrespect someone's existence, identity, or interests, people forcing their beliefs and ideals over me, sexist and homophobic jokes in the name of "dark humor", people shitting on my fav book series after they dropped them halfway through, people who listen to jojo siwa

this is a blog for the legendborn cycle, i hope you enjoy your stay here!! i usually post theories or headcanons about the characters, and a few case studies too, all in all you will find a lot of posts about legendborn so here's a masterlist more for my preference than anyone else which i will keep updating time to time

-how do the legendborn highschoolers look like while studying -theory/analysis of bree's powers and emotional connection -found family in bloodmarked -my theory to why merlin's succumb to their blood -why do i think bree did not cheat on nick -me crying over faye's speech for bree -my expectations for oathbound -my love for sarah griffiths -questions about silver wall because why not -cestra vs tor analysis because i hate them both -how i imagine they all sound like -bloodmarked hot take -bloodmarked hotter take -shipwars in fandom when there are like 10 of us -my breesel specific playlist -an unnecessarily funny selwyn appreciation post chain

feel free to send me asks about anything legendborn-related, and if you just wanna talk we can talk on my sideblog @squirrel-in-the-woods ‹𝟹

random facts about myself because this is my blog anyways: ♡ when i was 8 my pinky finger was unfortunately cut into half by a door that slammed really fast because of a storm at that time, and my cut off finger was joined by inserting a rod in it. the rod is taken out but now i have a funny pinky finger that does not bend. ♡ i am multilingual, aka i can speak marathi, hindi, english, spanish (i cant get the accent right but rest is okay) and korean (beginner level, just enough that i can understand kdramas mostly without subtitles). ♡ i have a fear of heights despite that i am unusually interested in roller coasters and bungee jumping, however my parents refuse to take me to any of these because i will "fall". ♡ my mother is scared shitless of water, so i once made a joke of how i would love to drown in the ocean and was immediately enrolled in a swimming class and that is how my dreams of dying among the phytoplankton and starfishes were destroyed. ♡ i love all types of fruits but banana tastes boring to me now and i also do not like watermelon for some reason. mango, kiwis, muskmelon, apples, oranges, and pineapple are my absolute fav. ♡ i used to have waist-length hair, very wavy and very thick, it was gorgeous but i hated having to maintain that so i cut it off and got a boycut. after that it has grown to a small dora the explorer length hair and it makes me look really innocent so i like this look.

and ofc you cant forget the lovely moots: @napoftustar @thejudeduarte @you-are-my-king-now-cariad @isthataraccoon @technicallyeldritch @ackerbabezzz @batzswrld @archerons-elain @ficnoire2 @sweetestblacktea @bloodmaarked @okeyisenough @thevoidhasarrived @goosemeggs @gewoonaardig2 @massiveladycat @infamouslyclumsy @literally-mariah @simzmil @tum-naam-sochlo-merese-ni-hora @refreshinglyemodemons @sweetdeerart

༊*·˚hope your day is as pretty as your smile ;)

[9r7g5h]

Should Have Been Obvious

Fandom: My Hero Academia, Boku no Hero Academia 

Rating: T

Genre: Humor

Summary: "How the actual fuck did I raise such a stupid brat?"

Even as the side of Katsuki's lip curled, he couldn't necessarily argue with his mother. He wanted to, he really, really did, but in this one case he had to concede that she was maybe, just slightly, kind of right.

It should have been obvious.

Words: 2,433

"How the actual fuck did I raise such a stupid brat?"

Even as the side of Katsuki's lip curled, he couldn't necessarily argue with his mother. He wanted to, he really, really did, but in this one case he had to concede that she was maybe, just slightly, kind of right. Partly because she hadn't been the first to say it - their friends, their former teachers, the others at their agency; hell, even Recovery Girl had broken her retirement and self imposed month long temporary isolation in Florida to give him a call and chew him out when she had heard the news. The doctors so far had been nicer about the whole thing, if with an air of judgment about them, reassuring him that, while rare, it could, in fact, happen. There'd been studies, tv shows, social experiments - they weren't the only ones this had happened to, though perhaps they were one of the most famous. That had only made him feel slightly better, because really, the other reason he didn't snap back at his mother was that, thinking about it, all of the signs had, if fact, been there.

It should have been obvious.

But, really, Izuku being sick at 3 am almost every single day for two months had been easy to write off. The damn nerd was constantly getting cheap crap from convenience stores for snacks on his way home from patrols, no matter how much Katsuki tried to protest. So they had both just laughed (or, rather, Katsuki had laughed, Izuku had bemoaned) it off as his stomach finally taking its revenge now that he was in his mid-20s.

The back and chest pain? Well, they were both heroes - things were constantly getting tweaked and twisted and hit, and even when they had desk duty, Izuku never sat properly. He was always hunched over his laptop, muttering under his breath instead of keeping track of his HDMI cables so he could use the nice, comfortable chairs and large monitors the agency had gotten them.

Being tired? The nerd never slept. End of story, he was always tired, and so was Katsuki, depending on whether or not Izuku had kept him awake as well. Sometimes a happy tired, if he'd gotten his dick wet at least, but more often then not a frustrated tired, his lovely, wonderful husband and mate keeping him awake half the night because they just had to talk about the new quirk theory he'd come up with. A talk that couldn't wait until their, you know, shared patrol the next day, or shared lunch hour, or dinner, where they lived together.

Crying easily? Izuku had already been flooding the city on a daily basis because a child knew his name, and if someone insulted one of their friends (especially him), they had exactly three seconds to find somewhere to hide and pray before he tried to rip them a new asshole for shits and giggles. Moodswings had always been part of Izuku, and nothing new to their lives.

Neither of them had thought much about Izuku's missed heat; he'd always been irregular, ever since he'd gotten One for All, going from the standard one every three months to sometimes six months in between a heat, or sometimes only two. Their mating and medications had helped, for the most part, but a missed one was nothing to worry about. For sure nothing to call home or run to a doctor about, but instead just a scheduled off long weekend to take advantage of.

Though, perhaps his reluctance to take apart the elaborate nest he'd established in the living room should have sent up some flags. Katsuki was glad for the small bite scar on his hand now, and the fact that the nest was still there, left alone after Izuku had made it very clear it was staying. They'd need it, even if it was ugly as fuck and in the worst place possible. It smelled like them, sure, but he still hated the fact that they owned an Icy Hot blanket, and for some reason Izuku had put that bastard's merch right where it was most visible wherever you went in the apartment.

Sure, the weird food had been weird, but none of it had been too too strange. Katsuki had gagged the first time he'd seen Izuku eat pork rinds and m&ms ("It's just like chocolate covered bacon, Kacchan!"), and more than once Katsuki had wondered why and how he'd let himself get bullied out of his own house to try and find melon pudding in the middle of the night, but again, not too weird. Or, rather, neither of them had really just thought about it.

Damn it, Denki was rubbing off on him too much. He really was a dumbass.

To be fair, in their defense, there had been some pretty obvious things that hadn't been there as well. Izuku's scent had barely changed, the slightest extra sweetness of milk barely there under the lighting and mint. He'd barely put on any extra weight, his increased appetite quickly burned off by the amount of exercise they did each day. They were both already horny fucks, so any increase in that area hadn’t been that noticeable.

It hadn't been until earlier that day that they'd begun to suspect something was maybe, just maybe, wrong. Izuku had woken up complaining of a weird pressure in his lower stomach, strange cramps that he couldn't just walk off. Katsuki had suggested he take the day off, go to the doctor, but Izuku had been insistent on doing his shift first. They had a short, early day, so they could always swing by whichever hospital was closest to them when they clocked out.

"I'm fine, Kacchan," Izuku had said, his smile tight even as he rubbed at his lower back, hissing as another cramp hit him. "It's probably just some stomach thing from all the weird things I've been eating."

He'd wanted to push, but deciding it was better to not argue and just keep a close eye on him, Katsuki had just nodded and gotten ready for the day.

He should have pushed. Throughout the day it was clear how much the cramps had been bothering Izuku, citizens giving him strange, almost panicked looks each time he stopped and pressed his hand to his stomach or his back, biting back whatever noise of pain threatened to break free. Some had even given Katsuki angry, disapproving looks, though when he had just shrugged and rubbed Izuku's back until he insisted he was fine enough for them to continue, that seemed enough for people to drop it. At least until the alerts went off for the robbery.

He wasn't even sure now what the name of the place was, whether it was a bank or some kind of store, just that one of the villains had some kind of x-ray quirk to let them figure out where the best goods to take were, while the other could pull apart the metal and bricks to fill their bags. He and Deku had been the first on the scene, making enough of an entrance that, without turning off the weird eye thing the woman had been doing, both villains had turned towards them, more than ready to fight.

Only for Creepy Eyes to take one look at Izuku and throw her hands up, hitting her partner on the way so she would do the same.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? You need to be in a hospital, not running around being a hero for one fucking day. We’re thieves, we’re not getting involved in this shit and possibly hurting one of you.” Her voice had been panicked, each blink causing her eyes to flicker between black and green as she lowered herself to the ground. “And you,” the snarl had taken Katsuki off guard, he’d admit - plenty of villains had growled at him before, but never with this kind of tone - “what kind of alpha are you? I know he’s the number one hero and all the shit, but really? You really care that little about him that you didn’t take him to the hospital already? Fucking shitty mate is what you are.”

Katsuki had bristled at the accusation, words he technically understood but that all together meant shit. Not that he had had time to do anything: his face dark, Izuku had taken a few steps forward, power crackling through his limbs, mouth open to speak-

Only to freeze as another one of those cramps rippled through him, this time accompanied by wetness that had stained the back of his pants, soaking through and dripping down his legs onto the dusty floor.

The next few hours had been blurry, Katsuki had to admit. Bird Brain flying in on his wave of darkness to take over for them while they waited for the ambulance; the ride as the EMTs helped Izuku out of his hero costume, asking him questions Katsuki fired off the answers to, because he knew Izuku more than well enough to respond even as his husband gritted his teeth against the strange pain, scent sharp and stressed and scared; the hospital trying to pull him to the side so he could fill out forms (he might or might not have tried to bite someone) until someone with brains had told them to do it later, this was happening now.

The room, the doctors, too many voices and not enough answers as he tried to keep Izuku calm. Calm and breathing and following the few instructions one of the smiling nurses had come by his head to give him (smiling, so that had to mean he wasn’t dying, something Katsuki had latched onto), ignoring his own pained hand as Izuku squeezed it between the waves. Waves that part of Katsuki had realized were more than some stomach bug, but he’d been proven an idiot, a complete dumbass, because it hadn’t been until the end, when Izuku had been screaming and crying and accidentally kicked someone in the face that it had gone quiet, that it had ended and whatever had been going on was over, that a small, whimpering newborn had been placed on Izuku’s chest that he’d actually realized what it all meant.

“Fucking hell,” he’d breathed, eyes wide and slightly faint as he’d watched Izuku carefully push back the dark hair on their head. Watched as, exhausted and out of it, Izuku had nuzzled the infant before trying to find a nurse, frowning as his tired gaze had fallen on Katsuki himself.

“They gave me a baby, Kacchan,” Izuku had slurred, eyes drooping, barely awake. “We’re heroes - we need to find her parents.”

“Give her here, nerd,” Katsuki had said, though it had taken a long few moments and some gentle swipes of his wrists over Izuku’s to get him to actually let go of her. “Go to sleep; I got her.”

And that was still how he was now, two hours after his daughter’s birth. He’d called his mom, given her the bare jist of it - she’d grabbed Inko on her way over, his dad out of the country for some business meeting, his green-haired mother-in-law quietly fawning over her still sleeping son. The doctor had given him something, after hearing the whole story, to help with healing and keep him calm when he woke up, though he’d sleep for a bit longer. Mitsuki sat next to him, looking between her phone and granddaughter, eyes bright even as she berated him and fielded calls. Stupid villain had leaked everything to the media the first chance she’d gotten, and Katsuki was glad he had someone to deal with the fallout of their stupidity for them.

He sure as fuck couldn’t. Besides calling the old hag, he’d barely been able to take his eyes off of her. She was so small, could fit in his arms so easily, his daughter. Perfectly healthy, if a bit small and a little bit early, nothing to be concerned about, according to the doctor that had almost had to pry her from his hands to give her her first checkover. A miracle, in Katsuki’s mind, considering there’d been nothing that he knew they should have been doing; none of the vitamins, none of the classes, none of the special exercises or appointments or anything that those shitty lifetime movies always made such a big deal out of.

They were dumbasses, as his mother so loved to remind him every few minutes as she replied to calls and texts and coordinated with PR, but even so they’d made the best kid.

“Kacchan?”

Immediately he was at Izuku’s side; he knew he was purring, brushing his cheek over and over against Izuku’s as he held their baby in his arms, scenting him excessively as Izuku just looked at him in tired confusion, but Katsuki couldn’t bring himself to stop. He’d had two whole extra hours to process this shit, and fuck, sure, brats had always been a “When we get to them” kind of thing, but she was here and perfect and he was happy.

“So it wasn’t a dream.” His voice tired and awed, Izuku just reached out for the baby, their baby, and brushed his wrist over her, scenting her, smiling as she squirmed at the sensation. “Kacchan, we have a baby. We didn’t even know I was pregnant and now we have a daughter.” He was tearing up, taking the offered tissues from Inko as Katsuki just sat there and let him process, nuzzling him while holding their child tight between them. “What are we going to tell everyone?”

“Don’t worry about that, ‘Zuku,” Katsuki quickly said, shooting Mitsuki a look they both understood. He didn’t need to know about the media circus show, about how Momo had created a key to their apartment and their friends were already swarming their home with baby shit, that the world was talking and speculating and wondering about how they’d gotten into this predicament in the first place (since a hero almost giving birth on the field was a new one). “Right now you need to rest, and we need to figure out what we’re calling this cute little brat.”

“Don’t call your kid a brat, you stupid brat. How I raised such a dumbass, I’ll never know.”

Katsuki wanted to argue, but really, she was right. He was a dumbass - a lucky as fuck, happy dumbass, and at least now he knew what to look for next time.

[END]

If there are any questions/requests, I have a Curious Cat and a Retrospring! :3

curiouscat.live/9r7g5h

retrospring.net/@9r7g5h

And if you would like to support me, I have a Ko-fi! :3c Tips are appreciated! Comms are open, so if you're interested, info is on my Ko-fi page.  

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/9r7g5h

[she-walked-away]

Tag Game Tuesday Monday: 911 Lone Star Fandom Edition

It took me nearly a week to get to it, but thanks Anne @thisbuildinghasfeelings for tagging me!!!

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

Funnily enough, I was watching the Super Bowl in 2020 and was folding laundry when they showed a promo from Lone Star and it was the part where they were talking to the old lady and I heard "Sure ma'am but just so you know I'm a homosexual" and I looked up because that was VERY random for a commercial to say and I the rest of the scene aired and I thought it was one of the best things I've ever seen lmao.

I actually did not start watching the show until 1x08 when TK got shot and I was HOOKED. I remember having to miss the season 1 finale to go to the grocery and checking my twitter account to see if Tarlos got together in the end ajkdhafdas

Which season is your favorite?

Season 3!

I'll never forget the EXPERIENCE that Push was. I was on a whole rollercoaster of emotions and I remember watching the TK waking up and Grace giving birth montage live and when it went off, my husband sitting behind me and very quietly going "whoa." We were both SHOOK. And then the proposal happened in 3x18 and I slunk off my couch because I was dying happily.

I think my rank is 3, 4 bc of the wedding and SOULMATES!!!, 2, and then 1. I really did like season 2 but you can tell Tim kind of bum rushed the ending dalkhdf

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

TK and Carlos will always be number one and I cannot pick a favorite between them. They're both so complex and interesting.

I think my second favorite has got to be Tommy. She always just *fit* in the show better than Michelle and I think she's hilarious and smart and her friendship with Grace and Judd are my favorites. Plus, I love how she and Owen play off each other.

Top five episodes. Go!

Push - nothing will ever top this I'm afraid

Bad Call

Saving Grace

Red vs Blue- LET THEM HAVE FUNNY QUIRKY EPISODES LIKE THIS BUT MORE CARLOS

In Sickness and Health

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

After season 4- I kind of NEED a Carlos one. I always want one and I think we learned a lot about him last season, but 4x18 opened a lot more questions about his childhood for me. Especially since he genuinely doesn't seem to remember a lot of the good times with his dad and it makes me curious if there is some underlying reason why other than just distance as he grew up.

But also NANCY. What is her backstory?? Her dad told her to start saving when she was little and she has thousands of dollars that she can lend out?? I want to know if there is more to it! And how did she get her start? Was she with the original 126 paramedic squad?

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

Obviously Gabriel's murder being solved and it would be great if Tarlos did it TOGETHER. And if one of them is in dangerous peril at the same time in front of the other- would not complain. I'm all for a "being threated and stalked" kind of storyline- I was thinking of along the lines of The Watcher by @ladytessa74 I want to be scared!! And to watch them be scared and IN LOVE AND A TEAM

I saw this earlier, but an episode from like B-shifts POV. You know that Owen and the firefam respond to the most INSANE calls, so I want to see what B shift and Captain Harper's POV is towards A shift. I think it would be hilarious.

Also- give me some silliness within the Catan Crew. Like maybe someone gets a little TOO into a game and then we have an episode of them all pranking each other or a little funny divide- similar to 4x16, but without them actually fighting.

What do you think is going on in this still?

It's Ghost face from Scream asking Carlos what his favorite scary movies are

:)

I think it's either about Gabriel's murder or them finding out that Robert is dead. Rob Lowe said we'd see part of that day so I wonder if we will see the aftermath since I don't think Robert necessarily died within a week after the wedding.

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

I think it could DEF be some *spicy* shower sex. If TK get's injured in 504, Carlos should help make him feel all nice and healed in the SHOWER

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

I think somewhere in Texas like Galveston. It's not too far away, but I think it's far enough to where TK and Carlos would feel okay leaving both their parents for a short trip. I headcanon that they spent A LOT of money on a quick 8 week wedding *cries in timeline* and so they'd have to save up for a bigger and longer honeymoon.

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

I HAVE SO MANY SO I AM SO SORRY IF I FORGET TO MENTION. It's hard to me to count my favorite stories beacuse I think this fandom has so many. I usually put them on my kindle when I'm traveling so I can reread on a long road trip and read in between the Pluto TV commercials during my long treadmill runs.

I just found my password for Ao3 that i created in 2015 (i was a fanfiction.net OG and live journal girly lol really dating myself) so I am currently making my way through reviewing @welcometololaland's ALTA and I have so many other ones to review as well! @strandnreyes, @reyesstrand, @paperstorm, @carlos-in-glasses, @ladytessa74, @rmd-writes , @goodways, @heartstringsduet , @liminalmemories21 , @lemonlyman-dotcom and literally so many more. I love going back and rereading fics on my work breaks now I'm back from leave and now that I have my password back, I plan on continuing that!!

I love gifsets by @guardian-angle22, @lutavero, @reasonandfaithinharmony, and more!

Also Anne's @thisbuildinghasfeelings cross-stitch!! Literally SO FREAKING COOL.

If I forgot you, I am so sorry. But if you write or make art or anything else in this fandom- just know that I am obsessed with everything you do :) I've just been silently stalking this fandom since like 2020

[short-black-diamond]

Wednesday's Bestie

I hope the wednesday-fandom hasn't died out yet, but I wanted to share my thoughts on Wednesday having a best friend who just came out of nowhere and shocking everybody. Also with a hint of pining, but - who knows? Maybe also angst for those who want it~...!

Also I didn't proofread and english is not my mother's tongue.

Part two , Part three

---

What if Wednesday had a best friend, somebody, who's got the same mindset and lifestyle as her. But, her best friend shows more emotion, AND, her best friend is manipulative.

Imagine, you, who's been the deadly girls best friend ever since you two could remember, also comes to nevermore a few days later for similar reasons as Wednesday and Wednesday shows actual emotions on her face.

Of course, Enid, Ajax, Xavier, Bianca and the others are shocked by the behavior of you two meeting and being all giggly and shit. Enid is jealous that you make Wednesday laugh until she wheezes, Bianca is disgusted by both you and your goth bestie and the others...well, they don't know if they should be happy or crying, since they don't know you.

I mean, Enid was the one who tried to get on Wednesday's good side since day one while you just swooped in one day and reclaimed your spot as her best friend. How were you able to befriend her anyway? You seemed so...well, too nice for Wednesday! However, she should actually listen to what you two are discussing while squealing like little piglets instead of getting her load of prejudice out on Ajax, who has to listen to her tantrums about her trying everything in her might to become the Addams' best friend while you are casually cracking jokes left and right, making Wednesday ring for air between laughter.

Xavier sees you as a potential rival- love rival, to be exact, because he doesn't miss the way you two look so fondly at each other. I mean, maybe it's just his jealousy and mind playing tricks on him, because you two obviously haven't seen each other in so long, maybe he's also right about his suspicious about you two secretely liking each other.

And for principal Weems, oh, that poor, poor lady...

One minute it's a student crying for help- Wednesday's fault, the next minute somebody breaks their arm- your manipulative advice. Sure, Wednesday and you have missed each other dearly, but what you guys missed much more was to cause chaos all over your surroundings. And what better place would be than your sweet Nevermore, where you and Wednesday didn't want to be in since the beginning?

Weems can only do so much as to threaten and give you guys detention. Because A. you guys hide the evidence too good, B. She never sees you two doing anything suspicious, and C. You, for example, don't look like somebody who'd befriend Wednesday at all, but there you are, talking to her about things Weem's too far away to understand.

In the prom or wherever you guys had to go, you asked Wednesday if she'd like to be your date there with fiddling thumbs and your eyes cast downside in a shy manner, but she declined, having to go with some normie called Tyler.

Oh yeah, you were a multi-monster. Extremely rare. To put it simply, you could shapeshift into anybody you'd like, have the icks of a siren, vampire, werewolf and every other monster, making you practically invincible.

Upon hearing her choice being some lanky dude who worked at a boring cafe, you were furious, but you didn't show it. Instead, you stalked Tyler through and through. and you found some interesting details about his past. But, it seemed like Wednesday really was all heart eyes for the little shit and threatened you to break whatever connection you two had if you didn't stop with accusing the 'human'. After that blood-incident by the prom happened and some time later, where Wednesday went to meet Tyler, you followed, in hopes of gaining her trust again.

Of course, you were still sour about this, and you even lost some of your treasureable feelings for her, but she was still your friend, that you'd still hoped that she'd listen to you. And well, if it wasn't for you, then Wednesday could've died that day if you didn't save her. Furthermore, instead of apologizing for her not trusting you even though you were her closest friend of more than a decade, using you being manipulative and shit as an excuse to defend herself, you just...shut off. Now, you were really like Wednesday, no emotion on your face, and Wednesday didn't like to admit it, but she felt scared for some reason.

"All I wanted was your love. Your attention on me. And you give it to some dude you don't even know for a month? Kissing him and exchanging spit?", you asked quietly, in a hissing matter as you slowly stepped towards the black haired girl, and she took a few cautious steps back.

"We were fucking friends, wednesday, you- you were my friend, even if you didn't believe so! I never know what is going on inside your head and I never know if you ever even thought of me as even an aquaintance, but you s-saying that I am manipulative ot you?", you stopped, taking a deep breath and giving the gurl in front of oyu some space too. your voice was croaking like a frog and your throat was going dry, but you had to get one last thing out of your soul and heart.

"I never manipulated you wednesday. In fact, i fucking admired you, you know? I wanted to become like you; uncaring of what the hell other people thought about me, being scared of me, never knowing what is going on inside my head, and more.

Also, I had the longest crush on you, but of course you'd never know. You're too egoistical to even notice your own fucking mistakes. You're toxic and I should actually fucking-...hate you. And I do.

I do hate you Wednesday Addams.

But oh, cara mia, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love you.", you whispered, your eyes filling with tears and your fisted hands wiped them aggressively.

During your whole confession, Wednesday only stared at you, unable to form any words. She knew that you were hiding something from her, but not...that. Bad thing was, she didn't know if you were even telling her the truth. Or if you were just manipulating her with gaslighting. She didn't know whether or not you were the still person she hung out all these years. I mean, you grew in all the right places, you had a new haircut and you looked much more mature than you did the last time she saw you.

And there was another thing; Even though she didn't harbour any feelings for you, your romantic speech did things to her, too many than she'd like to admit so herself. Wednesday couldn't handle any of it, so she chose the safest option.

"Get out."

You stood there for a moment, stopping dead in your tracks with wiping the neverslowing waterfall which came from your tearducts. you then frowned at her before storming out of the room.

Wednesday sunk to the ground and even her eyes got wetter than usual.

---

How was that? I hope it wasn't too confusing cause I threw in some sentences there and here, hehe...

Would oyu guys like a part two?

[fiercynn]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hi i'm deepa! i'm indian-american, in my 30s, queer, and agender – please use my name (either deepa or fiercynn is fine) instead of pronouns when referring to me!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched the whole show in the course of about 36 hours just about two weeks after the finale had aired, in february 2022! i joined bbs fandom on twitter soon after and have been there ever since, but i’ve only really been interacting on tumblr in the last few months

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa…i'm a traditionalist ig lol

favorite character(s)

it’s so hard to choose but i think it has to be pran! i love his pining and his cockiness and his anxiety and his kindness and his grumpy faces. really channeling pat right now aren’t i

favorite episode(s)

episode 5 for obvious reasons; my second-favorite is a tie between episode 3 and episode 8 i think

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, episode 3 bus stop scene, episode 8 backstage apology scene, and episode 9 picnic bench hand-holding scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

LET INKPA KISS GDI

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

ughhhhhh SO HARD TO CHOOSE and i think i'll do a longer rec list sometime but here are some of the earliest fanworks i engaged with that really set the stage for how i think about bbs

dynamic (fic, patpran) by riddles2 on ao3: one of the first fics i read in the fandom, it’s pat’s pov through episode 5 and it’s absolutely seminal imo

international love song (fanart/animation, patpran) by @architectxengineer: science is one of those incredibly multitalented people who writes, makes fanart, and animates?? among other things??? and this animation is sooooooo gorgeous and makes my heart absolutely melt

same page (vid, patpran) by dkyth73 on youtube: such a good fanvid of the show that p’aof himself tweeted about it!!!!

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

traffic was slow for the crash years (fic, patpran): gotta plug my baby, right? this is my patpran fake dating au which is 80k words and was so fun to create!

we both know you’re my only dream (fic, patpran): on the other end of the length spectrum, this 1k fic is one of my favorite things i've written ever

just being friendly (vid, patpran) co-vidded with @scribescribe: yes i know this is an msp song but we made the vid before msp aired!! i think it’s very cute hehe

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

since “just being friendly” is already obvious from me and scribe making a vid to it lol, i'm going to say “keeping tabs” by niki, which is extremely pran-coded. like. look at the lyrics. doesn't it seem like it was written to be about pran’s feelings at boarding school, where he misses pat desperately and hopes pat’s thinking of him but is also trying to convince himself that pat’s forgotten him and that everything pran wanted from him was just a delusion on his part. PRAN 😭 😭 😭

idk anything else you want us to know?

i have opinions about pran’s sweaters

okay i'm literally going to tag all of my tumblr mutuals that i think are still in the fandom (if i missed anyone sorry!!), but also if you want to do the meme consider yourself tagged! please don’t let this flop lol 🤞🏽

@citystoryscapes @nicolasechs @architectxengineer @mahuhumaling @manogirl @galauvant @miscellar @monamay @dancing-out-in-space @melto @incandescentflower @loveongsa @dimplesandfierceeyes @geonbaeeee @faillen @cinnamonseadragon @inkpaa @yourunwiththewolves @prany @pranpats @teesemomma @iathefurrr @inventedfangirling @sharingfandoms @lamonnaie @maychild @thegayneurodivergentagenda @mistergreaves @dudeyuri @nyttvera @thecriers @threezoz @wontbotherrn @not0nmain

[gralunaisland]

I wish Juvia never existed, she's so creepy , ever since I saw her as a child I couldn't help but hate her especially in the scenes with Gray though with the continuation of the series I started to become indifferent towards her except during the scenes where she harassed Gray and even cried a little bit at her death but I have been away from the fandom for 5 years because I couldn't like ft anymore, I was really nostalgic though and heavily missing ft so I wanted to start it from the beginning but I don't know if I can anymore . I came to know that Gray has lost all personality in 100 years quest and becomes mushy for Juvia just at the mention of her name. I can't watch or read a series only to know that a character I loved has gone through "utter character assassination" . What's more insufferable is that during the ending of ft when I read it 5 years ago I myself couldn't see Gray with anyone but Juvia no matter how much I hated this pairing , Mashima forced this pairing so much that now I feel like I have no choice but to ship them, but this much of annihilation of Gray , I just can't take it anymore.

When Mashima already killed Juvia , there was no need to revive her , her death was heartwrenching for the kid me during that time even though I never liked her but his revival of all the dead characters ruined the series for me. Natsu and Gray's fight was also utterly ridiculous. And there were a whole lot of reasons.

Atleast Gray would have been single and hadn't gotten his brain been made into a mush or would have ended up with another character and honestly Gray can be shipped with so many characters whether male or female in the series, his dynamics were so interesting with so many characters but ,no, Mashima had to force him with Juvia out of all the characters.

If Juvia was an ugly character or a male character nobody would have shipped her with Gray , just because she's attractive she is shipped with him even though she is literally a stalker who sexually harasses him physically and mentally all the time. She treats him as an object of her perverted desires rather than a human being. She's obsessed with him and not in love with him. If she loved him even a little or even cared she wouldn't have crossed his boundaries all the time and neither would she have been so jealous of other characters having healthy interactions with him. I honestly think that if she never existed atleast Gray's life would have been a lot happier. Atleast after suffering so much , Gray deserved to be happy instead of being with his creepy stalker.

Ft is only successful because of fanservice now atleast in the beginning the series was actually good, the series has given me so many great memories only for them to get muddied because of the direction this series took.

Your blog is a breath of fresh air , really good work!!

Miscellaneous Thoughts on gr///via

First of all, thank you so much for your patience! I'm sorry it's taken so long to get to your ask!

And secondly, I love how much effort you put into your ask! Honestly, my thoughts aren't even needed here; you really hit so many good points about gr///via. And thank you for sharing your experiences with FT with me. I agree with practically everything you said!

Despite this, as always, I'll run my mouth down below.

I was the same as you, Anon, where I hated her immediately when she met Gray when I was a kid first watching FT. I'm glad you could also tell how awful her character so soon as well. I personally never became indifferent to her and dreaded seeing her whenever she was onscreen, since even the super rare parts of the anime where she supposedly isn't thinking about Gray are still tainted by her mean-spiritedness and disingenuousness.

I also never fully read or watched juvia's death because I dropped the very end of the series thanks to gr///via and it just not being very good or intriguing, so I can't say I've cried at her death, but I think that shows how compassionate you are if you felt sad for such a disgusting individual! I've seen panels and I've heard what happened, and it is absolutely awful. The whole fight is shoehorned in just to ship gr///via and guilt-trip Gray into taking juvia's completely insane and gross advances seriously for once, when literally any of his other guildmates would have killed themselves for him too and have tried to before, and he'd never fall in love with them, but nooo gr///via must be forced down our throats to appease the fans and fulfill Mashima's weird fantasy.

As for nostalgia, I totally get you, because after a while I always find myself drifting back to rewatch it eventually. I used to watch every scene with her in it, but on my last watch-through, I basically skipped most of her scenes. That's how I survived it, Anon, so maybe you could try the same! Though, I feel like for my next watch-through, I'll sort of have to watch her scenes and make something like a mega masterlist of how she sucks every time she's on screen lol. That sounds so painful but perhaps that's a necessary project for my blog.

I so agree with you, Anon, that I can't bear to see Gray's character assassination in 100yq, which is why a very kind Anon created a masterlist of every gr///via moment so I could read it and avoid gr///via entirely. I'll link it right here for you if you ever desire to take a gander at the admittedly apparently terrible 100yq except for Lucy's new empowerment.

I agree that juvia should've stayed dead as well. Besides me just hating her and wanting her to be gone from Gray forever, her death (and the other characters who died for that matter) really should've never been revived because it just cheapens the sacrifice they made from a story standpoint. For juvia at least, it's like "oh well i didn't lose anything in the end but now i seem like a good person! Woopdidoo". Plus, it just makes none of their deaths have any real impact. It was just for shock factor, and we all know that Mashima really doesn't like to make lasting changes. He did the same thing all the way back in the Edolas arc when he made it so that Lisanna never died, which was a terrible decision. @perfectlyimperfectcharacterfan actually gave a much better suggestion, where Lisanna actually died and the Lisanna in Edolas was in fact Edolas Lisanna, and then Natsu would get to talk with her and learn to let her go and heal. Honestly gives me goosebumps just to think about it; it's so much more mature and moving than pulling a psych on everyone.

Gray being single would've been so much better than this gr///via garbage, Anon, you're so right! Even as an avid GraLu shipper myself, I would be perfectly fine with shipping them without it being canon (as I am now), but nooo, now I have to do my best to blot such an ugly, toxic ship out of my mind.

I really have nothing to say about your 4th paragraph because I hold those opinions completely. I call out the double standard of how people treat juvia's behavior all the time, and she definitely has "pretty privilege", though personally I do not find her pretty. Gray is an object for her to obtain indeed, and I concur, he would've been infinitely happier without juvia.

And yeah, I agree that unfortunately Fairy Tail has fallen off in terms of quality hard, with the criminal pushing of gr///via going off the rails in 100yq and the lack of good story telling in general. Even the end of the main story was unravelling. Sometimes, Mashima, it's better to end and preserve your legacy. Right now, you're beating a dead horse.

Thank you so much for your kind words! So sorry I took so long to get to your ask: it was a delight to read and so very insightful!

[asknarashikari]

So yes even Spanner also got complaints about why someone like him can get a heel turn. This is my grievance of the fandom (not series, I'd want to get more on this later) that I feel they just ignore character's whole characterization and lump everyone on a side the same.

In this case, on the good side (I feel this is more prevalent in lighthearted shows or something like superhero media) - Spanner being there means he can do no wrong, entirely ignoring his traits like being an asshole or anti-Chemy, and accusing as him being antagonistic as done just for artificial stakes.

And obviously there'd be those who justify his actions, using typical reasons like "many (humans) vs few (Chemies)", he has tragic backstory, he's proven right, Houtaro never provided convincing counterarguments (e.g. pausing when Spanner confronts his view).

Though, before the next ones airs, it's possible that all he did would be just smack-talk to Chemies and fighting Gotchard, losing, and later realizing how wrong his view was. Would that mean he didn't really do wrong and that nobody should hold it against him?

By that I'd think some'd just view that as normal that a protagonist and rival type (or allies with some differences) can sometimes clash, where (outcome-based) nothing really bad took place and Spanner never really meant it in his crusade.

Some people would definitely view it as merely an extension of his rivalry with Houtaro and all that talk about the Chemmies was just hot air. And some would rationalize his actions much in the same way Spanner himself is doing in canon.

Honestly, I understand the complaints because frankly it is rather tiresome when we've had a significant rider doing a heel-face turn every season for, what, half a decade now? At this point it feels more like an excuse to have the riders fight each other. And yes, a lot of the times the reasons feel more contrived that anything- they just want the riders to fight each other because reasons.

On the other hand, I also get what you feel in that Spanner having a conflict with Houtaro actually makes sense in this case. They have a fundamental difference in their view of the Chemmies' place in the world, and we've known this since Spanner was introduced. Add to this the rivalry aspect and it was bound to happen sooner or later.

It's utterly bizarre to me to that there are people who think they would never come to blows over this. And yeah, sure, it took Spanner falling off into the deep end due to recent events before it happened... but yeah, this one's a long time coming.

For what it's worth, I don't think his declaration is all "smack talk" as you put it. But I don't think he really thought it through either, which I think he's being extremely foolish.

And also... Did he just miss the part where people are the ones with bad intentions, not the Chemmies? Did he miss the bit where the Chemmies made their desire to fight against their intended purpose of causing humans misery known?

Not to mention, the practicalities of the matter: How does he think they'd defeat Geryon and co. if the Chemmies are gone? They use the Chemmies to fight as Riders.

Where the hell is this Super-A Ranked Alchemist's brain at?

[kingtwolf-fang]

Here it goes. Shannen Doherty’s passing hit home for me. Did I know her personally? No, but I felt I did, I grew up watching her as a kid. I remember when Charmed first aired as a kid. She’ll always be Prue Halliwell to me. I often like to think I modeled a lot of my personality traits after Prue/Shannen. I saw that as they are one, because as her co-star, and sister Holly stated “Shannen was born to play Prue.” She was. Blessed with looks, fierceness, intelligence, talent etc. Her presence will definitely be missed in the Charmed fandom. I was always so inspired by her whenever I would watch her in interviews. Some people just have that “It” factor and Shannen definitely had it.

Shannen was an absolute warrior, from talking about all that she overcame being a woman in Hollywood, and an opinionated one who also wasn’t shy about her being rough around the edges. From battling cancer in front of the whole world, and put up one hell of a fight till the very end.

Another thing about Shannen is that she had admiration, and passion for horses like I do. I grew up with horses, and they still play a starring role in my life. From trail rides, theater, and movie productions, and even charity events I couldn’t imagine life without them, and I know Shannen couldn’t.

For other fandoms who know what it’s like to endure the lost of an actor/actress of a beloved franchise please keep the Charmed fandom in your thoughts, and prayers. Also keep Holly in your thoughts and prayers. Shannen’s best friend, and sister. My heart breaks for her. All the pictures and videos she has been sharing. It really feels like watching the episodes where Piper is mourning Prue. I don’t think I’ll be able to watch certain episodes anymore. “All Hell Breaks Loose”, “Charmed Again” part 1 & 2, and “Hell Hath No Furry.” My prayers also go out to Shannen’s mother, and brother as well.

Shannen Thank you for the magic you shared with, for the 53 years you were on this earth. Thank you for showing us to walk with a purpose in life. Sometimes I ask God why? Why create and bless with some of your best class act grand standing people only to take them away from us?

Lastly

Power of the witches rise.

Course unseen across the skies.

Come to us who call you near.

Come to us and settle here.

Blood to blood, I summon thee.

Blood to blood, return to me.

[kissingelvis]

BLUE VELVET

(Elvis x Reader)

summary: After a heated argument with Elvis you hand his engagement ring back and head to Vegas where he finds you once again though this time it's followed by an overwhelming rollercoaster of events as you live on to tell your story with the king

A/N: Hii This is my first fic and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing this first part. I have ideas flowing through my head DAILY so I was like why not get into writing yk? I wanna be able to write more of this story because I just have so much to think about it. This part is a bit boring but plz bare with me because the next chapter will be so much better I swear! I plan to have smut in this story so look out for that?!? but yeah enjoy!!!

Fandom/character - ELVIS

Fem!Reader, NOTPROOF READ

TW: Cursing, Brief Mentions of alcohol/Drinking, Brief mention of death (kinda?), typical Elvis things ofc , LET ME KNOW IF MORE

If you want a better view of how the reader is I recommand listening !!!

Vegas, 1969

Click, and The flash goes off on the camera that's shooting you getting every angle Click and again. You like to make sure the photographer gets every piece of you to show off the gorgeous curves you have been saving.

After handing back an engagement ring from Elvis Presley you left and became a serious actress in Las Vegas you have made it your Home. You made yourself a home in the biggest suite at the only international hotel. You were quite a big deal here. You decided it was time to make a name for yourself instead of just being Elvis’ girl and being no one. You thought acting would do you well for now since you were only starting. It's been only a year since you started but you already have your face plastered on magazines and movie posters. It would be overwhelming at times but you learned to enjoy it quickly with all the gifts and treatment you would give yourself.

The fame has indeed made you happy until the storm of loneliness hits you like a truck. Money can buy you happiness but only temporarily, you’ve been missing the touch and feel of a man since your last love. You’re starved for affection really, as dumb as it sounds all you craved was the potential marriage you had left behind.

Your thoughts cave into you at once hitting you fast. The bright studio lights feel as if they are 10x brighter than before hitting you in all directions. You then hear your photographer shout and your photoshoot is all wrapped up in seconds “Alright we’re all set for today Ms. Y/L/N” your photographer says while putting his camera to the side. “Thank you” You flash him a quick smile not being a big talker even though you're an actress. You wrap yourself up with the robe left for you and walk toward your dressing room.

Once you reached your dressing room you walk in with a cold breeze of air hitting you like you just walked into heaven itself. You race for your chair that's waiting for you by your giant vanity and are in a rush to take off your heels that have been killing you all day you just could not stand heels anymore. Now that they were finally off you reach for the box of makeup wipes that were sitting by the gigantic vanity mirror next to all your essentials.

You grab a small wipe and gently start rubbing your face off any unnecessary makeup that was needed for the shoot, but you leave your eyeliner untouched. You were quite known for having eyeliner most of the time you were just so fascinated by the way it was worn. Elvis had taught you how to do eyeliner when you first met him and have been doing it ever since, it was just so beautiful to you.

After wiping away almost any makeup left you grabbed the closest wine glass you could find which was by the mini wine fridge you had installed yourself under your vanity dresser. You were quite proud of yourself for that! You reached down to grab the glass and the old wine bottle almost empty sitting on the floor and poured yourself what was left. You made your way to a black velvet couch that was sitting in the middle of the room and made yourself comfortable. You flicked on the television and flickered through the channels til you found a soothing romance movie that was playing, you decided to just go with that. You managed to finish the wine after the first 10 minutes of watching and placed your empty glass on the black marble coffee table.

After a couple of hours had gone by you were awakened by a loud knock on your door “Who is it?” you shouted “Its me Y/N, now open this gawd damn door!” hearing the voice you knew exactly who it was

You got up from the couch and ran over to the door to open it and see it was your best friend Ana.

You and Ana became friends way before you and Elvis got engaged, she actually was a wife of jerry schilling a member of the Memphis mafia, she eventually helped you move to Vegas and get yourself involved in the movie industry.

“Whats brings you to this fine place of mine, Princess Ana” you say twirling around showing her your dressing room

“Well, I came here to invite ya to a show tonight!” Ana said with a smile poking through her

“Oh, really, and who could possibly be performing” you say turning around to grab yourself a snack of a banana with a nice whip of peanut butter.

“Egh-uh- Just a local band, they were invited by the international!” Ana spat out with a stutter

You turned back around to her with a small side eye

“hmm alright, ill go, under one condition!”

“Anythin’ Darlin” Ana shook her head and through her hands up in a pleading pose

“Drinks on you” you took a bit of your banana

“Oh I knew you were going to say that, don’t worry it's all on international tonight” she gave you a wink and quickly made her way out

“Oh and don’t forget, the shows are at 7:30!” and she was gone

A couple of hours had gone by since

Realizing the time, you dropped peanut butter on your gorgeous robe “Shiet” you whispered shuffling into your closet. You shift through your hangers and the many costumes that just stayed there hanging.

After a few minutes of shifting back and forth you landed on a blue velvet mini-dress it was strapless and perfect for the night it came with a pair of blue velvet gloves. You quickly grabbed them and rushed out of your closet to get dressed and ready, you slipped on the mini dress, it fit perfectly around your curves and complemented your breasts.

You went to your vanity and added a beautiful dark red lip and enhanced your black mole above your lip, you decided to add a small lash to be just a bit dramatic, and you then went to fix your hair that sat in a long bouffant on your head. After adding the finishing touches you slipped on your blue gloves and grabbed your clutch and headed out the door. It was already 7:00 pm by the time you were done getting ready, the show started at 7:30 so you felt in no rush. For now at least.

Walking through the studio you headed out the front and there was a black Cadillac waiting for you to take you back to the international.

Press was already swarmed by ur side trying to get every angle of you, FLASH CLICK FLASH CLICK you hear as you walk through smiling and waving as a driver opens your door for you. Grabbing onto the handle you pushed yourself inside and landed on the tan seats of the Cadillac then giving the press a blown kiss and closed the door. The driver sped away into the next lane and on the road to the hotel.

You stare out the window watching the lights pass in streams, this was one thing you loved about being in Vegas, the lights were something to absolutely die for.

While pulling to the front of the hotel the sign of the international hotel beams in front of you...

‘INTERNATIONAL bill miller presents… ELVIS’

The driver finally made it to the hotel and opened your door, you placed one foot on the floor and hopped out, you grabbed your clutch that was sitting right next to you. You started making your way toward the front while the press was forming once again, you were smiling and waving while people were handing you pictures of yourself to sign.

While signing pictures you landed on a picture of you and Elvis together next to his pink Cadillac, he had his hand wrapped around your waist and a cigar in another, both of you smiling. You felt as though people still considered you together. You quickly signed it and handed it back to whoever it came from, you rushed inside and made your little way to the showroom where every wall had a picture of Elvis plastered on it.

Walking into the room it was already very dim since it was mere minutes before the man of the hour would appear, the room was filled with many small tables and booths for its size. The tables were covered in a white satin tablecloth and had small candles with bowls of champagne submerged in ice, the tables were set for a big night ahead of them.

You were already late so you tiptoed through the crowd that was already in place, you saw Ana sitting at one of the booths straight in the middle with the best view of the small stage. Slowly making your way to the table you rushed to take your seat next to her.

“Thought you stood me up sugar,” Ana said with a side eye followed by a smirk “Oh me? Never dear,” you said while grabbing the champagne out of the ice.

“A band Ana? I didn’t know the Band was ELVIS!?” you said while facing Ana nursing her drink

“Listen Y/N it's been years you’re in the clear trust me,” she said with a smile plastered across her face excited to see the show that was about to take place

You hadn't seen Elvis since the night you two got into a fight and you handed his ring back to him. You felt all the feelings you could feel run straight through you, you were about to see the man whose heart you shattered and never saw again.

You couldn’t help but feel guilty, what he thinks of you if he saw you? All the feelings that had rushed through you when he appeared.

There he was, the beautiful man you once loved and would’ve just about anything for. Elvis walked onto the stage greeting the crowd, he was dressed in a black herringbone suit with a dark blue satin scarf tied around his neck. He walked out holding his signature guitar and a beautiful smile on his face.

Due to your best friend's horrible choice of seating, it wasn’t long before Elvis looked your way and quickly recognized who you were.

You gave him a warm smile and a little wave hoping he wouldn’t hate you, but you saw his nervousness fade away when a smile started to appear across his lips. You felt a small relief in your chest as you saw the light in his eyes twinkle while looking in your direction, you shifted in your seat getting yourself comfortable for the show

He started the show with introductions then slowly made his way into suspicious minds, you could tell this was his favorite by the way he was moving, he was so charismatic and you could feel yourself falling in love with him once again. After a couple more songs Love me tender finally started to play, surprisingly you saw Elvis starting to kiss every fan in the front row of the stage.

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made my life complete

And I love you so

While singing Elvis walked down the steps to the side of the stage and made his way to the line of booths that you were sitting at, he started to kiss every girl that was within them.

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will

Elvis quickly approaching your booth would every so often pick his head up and check to see if you were still in the seat he saw you in or even if he was even dreaming.

You felt your body go hot, your hands were gathering sweat in them as you were watching him approach you. Your heart was galloping as fast as a horse in a derby race, waiting for his touch.

He finally reached your table and slowly lowered the microphone he was holding singing the end of love me tender, he bent over the large round table and quickly latched his lips on yours. The feel of his pillow lips was so warming, he kissed you as if you were engaged again.

He finally pulled away and with the microphone low he whispered a small request that you couldn’t quite hear after having the beating of your heart ringing in your ears.

He walked his way back towards the stage turning back around to give you a small smile.

After another hour the end of the show finally arrived, and you were quite tired and ready to leave.

Slowly sliding out of the booth you grabbed your clutch and stood to face Ana.

“You’re not leavin’ are ya?” Ana says with a frustrated tone in her voice

“I'm a bit worn out Ana and it's late,” you said rubbing your head a bit

“Oh don’t say that! You can't tell me that kiss from Elvis didn’t wake ya?! I saw you turn redder than a tomato” Ana chuckles at you “ooo redder than a tomato” mocking Ana's voice

“c’mon now we're invited to the after party!” she says as she grabs your arm guiding you out of the showroom...

Your heart flutters at the fact you might see Elvis again, but you're truly scared to talk to him. Your mind turns into a little schoolgirl when you think of him but you can't help it.

After Ana had led you into the main hall of the hotel you see the showroom start to slowly empty out and into a backroom full of actors and actresses to see their king

You and Ana follow the crowd into the back which its crowded and full of people, the room has a large bar on the side and a large red curved couch taking up most of the space.

“Now this is what I call a show Y/N!” Ana shouts before vanishing into the crowd.

‘What a crook, guess ill have to keep me busy’ you think

Only a few minutes in and you have already lost your talkative and only friend, you head straight to the bar in hopes to cheer yourself up from the night you have encountered already.

“ ‘scuse me?” you says waving your hand to the bartender “Hi, May I please have a whiskey, on the rocks”

“Of Course Ms. Y/L/N” the bartender says spinning around to get to work

You turn back around facing the crowd crossing your legs to keep decency, you peer around to make sure no Elvis Presley is in your sight.

Elvis, just hearing or thinking of his name sent a lump in your throat, almost as if someone was choking you to death.

The love you felt for Elvis was almost... Unreal? It would hurt then times it felt good, he was the love of your life but you weren’t ready to face him not just yet...

Lost in thought you hadn't even noticed the bartender trying to get your attention, “Ms. Y/L/N? Ms. Y/L/N?” the bartender repeated.

Looking over your shoulder “Oh my goodness I apologize I was completely lost in thought”

“No problem it's normal for me almost every day!” the bartender said with a chuckle

You giggle as you grabbed the glass and turned back around but as soon as you turn you are met with a chest directly in front of you

“Ugh-” you let out a small yelp “I'm so sorry I can't seem to get myself together toda-” you stop dead in your sentence to look up and see Elvis towering directly in front of you

“Hello, Honeybee”

[whateverisbeautiful]

Darksided Takes Seen On The Internet:

It became The Woke Dead after R&M got together 😑

I stopped watching and deleted TWD from my DVR after R&M became a couple because I don’t want my kids to see that (on a show with some of the most graphic gore and several interracial couples, Richonne is where they drew the line) 🤡

RJ isn't a legitimate son to Rick - and just an overwhelming amount of dismissive-at-best downright-racist-at-worst attitudes towards a child 😪

Taunting that we’ll only be getting about 240 minutes of R&M in their spin-off 🤣 (like sis, we would have been grateful for just a 5 min Richonne special during an AMC commercial break so 240 minutes is a blessing)

Rick had more chemistry with insert-any-non-Black-woman (ones I’ve heard: Lori’s corpse, Andrea, Jessie, Jadis) 🙄

Rick is going to move on with a new woman and start a family in the spin-off, including starting a romance with Jadis (the spinoff didn’t even have to air for set videos and pics to already debunk this) 🥱

Rick only got with Michonne romantically because she was alive and one of the few women available 🤮 (sooo darksided & wrong)

Rick’s best wife was Jessie (this nearly convinced me media literacy is completely dead) 🫠

Michonne is a bad mother who left her kids behind for some horny reason (as if she’s not a wife seeking to bring home the father of her children)

I can’t possibly have an anti-Black take because I think Michonne and her sword are "totally badazz" I just can’t fathom any aspect of the show that highlights her humanity, desirability, and womanhood (this is never helping one's case the way they think it is) 🤔

I don’t usually address the parts of this fandom that have consistently spoken so negatively about this TV couple. I’d rather focus on the positive that we get to celebrate in actuality. And I promise returning to being positive and unbothered is what I’ll do after this post, that who knows if anyone will read and who knows if I’ll keep posted for long. But there’s been a lot of degrading comments that go beyond just “opinion” or fair discussion lately so…I just had to respectfully vent. And it ain’t brief. Cuz if this blog has shown anything it’s that - Brief? I don’t know her lol.

Here’s the thing I’d want to say kindly to those that “just don’t buy Richonne” and go out of their way to be negative about the TV couple - You don’t have to like the pairing. Truly you don’t. You don’t have to see the (blazingly blatant) chemistry. Just know, you not seeing it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

And the issue isn't about you not being a fan of a TV couple or even voicing that Richonne isn't your thing. The real issue is whenever you spend time in your real life demeaning the pairing online with real-life implications of real-life racism and hatefulness.

Look, I hadn’t been expecting Rick and Michonne to get together romantically before they went canon. It wasn’t cuz I thought they didn’t have chemistry and it def wasn’t cuz I thought they were like siblings. (Ain’t nobody should be looking at their sibling the way they looked at each other lol.) Upon first watch, I just loved R&M’s dynamic and thought the bond and family they found with each other was really sweet and special and I had left it at that.

But when they got together romantically it immediately felt so right. It felt earned. It felt alive, authentic, utterly fitting, and beautiful.

And then shortly after when I went back and watched compilations of their pre-canon moments, I realized why it felt that way. It’s because it was all always right there. All that build-up was evident. All the desire. All the love. I wasn’t only seeing the pre-canon looks they shared and the attraction they felt because I now knew they’d be a couple. I was seeing it because that’s simply what it was. What it always was. Like from a media literacy standpoint, a romance is where Rick and Michonne's story was heading. It was me that missed it. And it would be weird for me to act like their love story wasn’t there just because I initially missed it. That’s on me.

How you feel about their love story doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. It doesn't mean their journey wasn’t well done. Some people just miss it because it wasn't heavy-handed and others just refuse to see it and we know why.

And if it’s just a silly TV show to you and you’re adamant that you don’t care about the couple or about anything, then do yourself and everyone a favor and don’t comment. Cuz people who actually don’t care and think it’s just a TV show aren’t taking any time out of their day to comment negatively about something that was made to be enjoyed. If you enjoy the couple, great. Revel in all their glory. If you don’t - ask yourself why it would at all be necessary to talk down on the pairing so harshly unless their union does bother you more than you care to admit and for reasons you refuse to say aloud. (But trust, the reasons behind why you spew vitriol toward the pairing are still so loud)

Whether you buy it or not, Richonne factually didn’t come out of nowhere. Their love isn’t an afterthought. It’s a patient and passionate slow-burn that wonderfully unfolded into an out-loud soulmate type of love from both of them equally. You don’t have to see it or like it. That’s okay. (Even tho I do feel pretty confident if you close your eyes and imagine Michonne looking like Lori or Jessie or even Andrea I think all of a sudden you’d read their scenes as more than platonic) But nothing will change that an epic love story is what Rick and Michonne’s journey literally is. Not just to “shippers,” but to people who receive actual paychecks as part of the show. Everyone involved with that show knows and values that Rick and Michonne have a grand love story. And the fact that a whole spinoff about their love story is on the way is proof that Rick and Michonne's love wasn’t just a part of TWD it was one of the elements at the very heart of TWD. Why keep fighting to survive if not for the love and family you build in that world?

9 seasons of watching Rick Grimes and they’re ending the main character’s arc with an epic love story between him and the greatest love of his life for a reason. Because no matter who likes or dislikes it, sees the chemistry, or doesn’t - regardless of it all, the characters of Rick and Michonne deeply love each other, need each other, and desire each other. And they have for a long long time. Fans of them are not reveling in an opinion or speculation that R&M’s story is a romance. We’re appreciating the story that was and is literally being told.

Their love story is fiction. Their love story is also a fact and no opinion changes that. And anyone who is willing to just step back, turn off biases, and watch what is literally happening on screen - in the words of Michonne…you’ll see :)

Oh and if you don’t - you don’t. No sweat. Like what you like. Dislike what you dislike. Just keep it respectful and know that the opinion you’re entitled to doesn’t change the facts. So back to reality & positivity, I go. 😌

[currymanganese]

Also people are like "Ayo just wants Sydney to be independent and not romantically tied to the white male main character. Stop trying to link her to him all the time." Sorry, she's already tied to him! Their relationship is a major part of the story! If people are so mad that he is part of a huge chunk of Sydney's story they should take it up with the writers. I'm sure Ayo's looking at it strictly from her side as an actor and wanting Sydney to only be recognized on her own. And we do recognize Sydney as her own, fully realized character (can't say the same for most of the fandom). We're not the ones to be angry at. We mind our own business in our corner here on Tumblr and the tinier corners on Twitter and TikTok. But everyone feels the need to dunk and comment on what we do. Like previous anon said, the show doesn't mind interacting with us or that some people have seen these TikTok edits and discourse and decided to tune in. Or that our horrible shipping is driving the conversation for a show almost two months after its season 2 release that didn't air weekly. And what would these reporters do with us to shit on and drive clicks to their websites?

Well said anon, what would they do without us indeed? Here we are writing paragraph after paragraph about the show and dutifully churning out fanfic, fanvids, gifsets and webweavings like if the future of the show itself isn't hanging in the balance because of the current WGA/SAG-AFTRA strike action. 🥴

All while being told by supposedly reputable ✋🏻 journalists and media houses that we're being ninnies for loving the thought of these two possibly getting together. Like it or not these characters' journeys so far have been inextricably linked right from the pilot episode where they were framed as the unwelcome upstart fine dining newcomers to the dilapidated greasy spoon that was The Beef. Countless edits have been made with shots of Sydney and Carmy that directly parallel each other from throughout the series, but this visual /behavioural mirroring between them began all the way in episode one as well:

1. Syd and Carmy's weighted held gaze across the kitchen aisle after Richie's emasculating rant against Carmy (with Carmy's silent anger/ chagrin and Syd's sympathetic restrained anger on his behalf);

2. The blink-and-you-miss-it fast cuts between Sydney and Carmy chopping vegetables in tandem with lightning fast precision while Richie berated Carmy;

3. Both characters being impressed with the other's work history and their shared incredulity that someone like her/him would be found working at The Beef....

Like, hello??? We're not stupid for thinking that the very deliberate connections that are being made between the two would give them a good foundation for potentially becoming a loving and interesting couple. The creators have devoted so much time to show these two to be "the same person, different fonts" so any rubbishing of the show's protagonist + deuteragonist's closeness and interconnnection feels arbitrary and disingenuous. "No man is an island," seems as relevant here as ever, it's ridiculous to assume that appreciating Carmy and Syd's dynamic as a duo / partnership would take away from respecting or appreciating the characters as individuals. These are two characters that have told one another, among other things:

1."I need your focus like you need mine, I don't wanna share it, I'm sorry." / "I understand....You deserve my full focus....My attention shouldn't be split, it shouldn't have to be shared."

2."I can't do this without you, I wouldn't even wanna do this without you. You make me better at this." etc.

Even without context, doesn't this seem like a really intense way to regard a friend and colleague? So how is it outlandish or disrespectful to view these two as an inseparable unit within the ensemble when the characters themselves have more or less said that's what they are in the show itself? How would them falling into one another's arms at some point in the future be improbable and make for bad television? Are people watching the same show?

Lastly, as for Ayo just wanting Syd to be independent....

The only person I want to hear speak for Ayo's opinions on the show is Ayo herself. The biggest thing that irked me about that THR article is the length of time the writer devoted to transcribe what Ayo's white peers had to say about her instead of just doing a proper interview and feature on Ayo herself, you know, like the ones big magazines usually do for their cover stars. But they had time to waste a paragraph and get snippy about Sydcarmy shippers instead. 😑

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

I find it amusing that you hate James when we don’t even know his pov. We only got to see Snapes memories and since he hated James his memories would have been the worst thing James did. What James did was wrong and there’s no excuse for it but we don’t even know all the stuff Snape and his friends did to all the other students. Snape wasn’t innocent and neither was James. James at least grew up but Snape never did and stayed a bitter arsehole that bullied children until the day he died. Yes he did some good but it was all for Lily (his obsession with her was creepy and not romantic at all). Now let’s compare Sirius and Draco. Sirius came from a similar family as Draco with similar beliefs. Yes he was a bully to Snape but he went against his family and their believes and chose good over evil. Draco on the other hand has been put on a pedestal by fandom probably because they haven’t read the book and liked the actor who played him in the movies. He was a coward, blood-ist, narcissistic bully who thought his family status gave him the right to look down upon everyone. The only good thing he did was lie about Harry being Harry Potter. After that though what did he do in Room of Requirement? If Harry hadn’t saved his ass he would have been a fried ferret. Now Remus, the worst thing he did was not stop James and Sirius from bullying Snape but Snape wasn’t always innocent. Are you telling me that once Snape found out about Remus being a werewolf he didn’t shove it in his face? If someone made fun of my friend for disease you better believe I’m going to stand up for them and take this bully down. The Marauders may come off as bullies but they fought for the light until their last breath. You’re forgetting all the good things they did and letting one memory shape their entire lives. Snape was the reason Harry lost his parents so he should have done everything to protect Harry it was the least the slimy git could have done. Lily and James missed out on Harry’s life because of Snape. Hell Snape should have gone and checked on him when he was the Dursley’s since he was the reason Harry had to live with them but no he chose to bully a child instead because he looked like his father and then ripped a picture of Harry and Lily and a letter she wrote for Sirius. Real mature. And really creepy.

Funny how marauder stans can never defend James without bringing the things that Snape did.

See, that might work on a Snape stan, but someone who proudly loathes both of them, it ain't working on me.

(Now I'm gonna go with this point wise cuz I love organizing shit)

We only got to see snape's memories...the worst thing that James did.

In swm, James and Sirius literally tried to choke him on soap, hung him upside down in the air, showed his underwear to the jeering crowd and then sexually assaulted him. If that is the worst thing james can ever do, then why would you support his actions?

James grew up and snape stayed bitter

That's called fucking victim blaming. James grew up from what? Bullying other people? Sexually assaulting others? Ruining someone's life because they exist? That's literally the most basic thing he could have done to not be a fucking jerk. And as for Snape, you cannot expect someone to just "grow up" when they have been traumatized for the most part of their lives??? You cannot go and tell a trauma victim "it's been years, just get over it" because they can't. They fucking can't.

Also, please tell me when exactly did James grow up? He continued to bully snape, even behind lily's back, till 7th year. And then? If James grew up, he should have apologized to snape. Where did he do that? I don't support snape's treatment of students at all, which is why I hate him, but James was a bully till he died, and he never grew up.

Comparison between sirius and draco

If you compare someone with draco, 9/10 cases they come out looking good. Cuz it's fucking draco. He's a typical "high school bully" stereotype. That's it.

Just because sirius was not a bigot when it came to wizard classism and bloodism, doesn't mean he was a good person. That's called being a decent human being. Yall marauders fans always praise them for doing the literal bare minimum. Nothing changes the fact that sirius was a bully and was just as bad as James. So don't come and tell me he's a good person, cuz he doesn't even fall in the category of decent. Also he literally tried to MURDER snape. USING remus. He had no problem sacrificing his friend's life so that he can kill another person who did nothing. In his teens. What the fuck.

Defense of remus shit

"Snape tormented remus about his lycanthropy" show me where. Cuz what I see is that he kept it a secret (bare minimum, shouldn't be appreciated) and also gave potions to him so that the transition is better. If you can find a single place where snape bullied or even insulted remus for his condition. Secondly, nothing snape does can justify him getting hung upside down, choked on soap and getting sexually assaulted in front of a jeering crowd. And remus supporting it is pretty much the same as doing it.

The marauders did good things

The marauders did good things for each other. They fought in a war. So? Does that cancel out their bad, which is much more than the good? No. Snape fought too, even tricking voldemort, does that cancel out the bad he did? You have already said it doesn't for you, so. Just because someone does a few good things doesn't mean that it erases out the millions of bad things they did.

And the rest is you shitting on snape, which idgaf about cuz I hate him.

Now go fuck yourself.

[masterwords]

a yearning that you can't ignore

Summary: The BAU end up with a case in Chicago - missing college students - that takes them right to Derek & Aaron's doorstep. At first they're a little excited to be back in the action, but quickly the two of them find themselves mixed up and in too deep.

Words: 13.4k

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan (background Reid/Alvez but it's not much here - they are a couple in this universe though)

Warnings: canon-typical violence, stalking/obsession, gunshot, hospital, swearing, vomit (quick, due to head injury)...it's a Criminal Minds story surrounding a stalker case.

Notes: I started this fic back when CME started airing as I thought about how Hotch and Morgan probably don't mind their quiet lives, but when the opportunity arises for a little action...can they say no? (No, they cannot. As you're about to find out.) Anyway, case fics are fucking HARD TO WRITE...and it took me half a damn year to figure this out. In fact, there are 2 other versions of this fic that have nearly 10k words too because I couldn't decide what to do for the case...so maybe you'll get more case fic when I figure out what to do with all of...that. Also, this is clearly setting up a sort of second part. But it's in the Chicago Times universe, so they're all interconnected anyway. So...here.

OH! And, one more thing?! THIS IS MY 300TH FIC ON AO3! Yeah baby. 293 CM fics, 300 total.

Look at me being SO multi-fandom. lol Okay, on with the show!

**

(1)

It started with a coffee.

Just a cup of coffee, an Americano piping hot and placed on his desk with a little smiley face and an “A” where the name should be. He could tell it had come from the student coffee stand not too far away, the one he stopped at in the mornings on his way to his classroom.

He always ordered an Americano.

“Did one of you leave this here?” he asked once class had started. Silence. Students glanced around the room eagerly. He'd worked in the BAU long enough not to trust food that was just left sitting around, or really even food offered by well-meaning individuals. Probably a student, or maybe another teacher, had decided he needed a pick-me-up. That wasn't untrue, he was dead on his feet. His insomnia was creeping back in at the edges, slowly eating away precious hours of sleep. Eroding his delicate grip on his life.

He ignored the coffee and moved forward with his lecture. Teaching was starting to feel like a trap, an endless cycle of bad days. The students only half listened to him, and he thought maybe he could handle that if the games the staff played weren’t so tedious. He wasn’t cut out for the behind the scenes drama of this any more than he had been at the FBI. As with anything, there had been a honeymoon phase but that had passed and now this job was grating on him. Each morning he dragged himself out of bed and wondered why he did it. He had no inflated sense of self, no certainty that these young adults were the future...they would make their way into the world with or without him. Most of them looked at him like he was the barrier that stood firm between them and what they wanted.

The coffee ended up in the trash after all of his students had gone.

He was home the next two days with Hank, playing and singing Raffi songs and grading an endless stack of papers. He even got in a couple of decent naps with Hank which helped a little with the lack of quality nighttime sleep and his general sulky demeanor. Little sleeps were better than no sleep at all Derek had told him when he mentioned the naps.

On his desk, when he came back, was a small box of chocolates. He glanced around for a note, some kind of indication that this was left specifically for him and from whom but there was nothing but an “A” written on the little attached card.

He left the chocolates where they were and sat at his desk to begin his morning routine. There was an hour before his first class and he had a lot to do. His office was shared with another professor and this year they’d managed to work it so they were in on opposite days, a way to pretend neither had to share. Maybe the chocolates were meant for his roommate. He nudged them off to the side and pulled out a book with color coded pages marked for his lecture, scouring the passages once more to make sure they were what he wanted to convey.

The chocolates didn't enter his mind again.

It wasn't that he couldn't have put those pieces together, but there didn't appear to be a connection that warranted too much thought. It wasn't unheard of that students would gift their teachers with small bribes, incentives to give them better grades, and he had plenty of kids on the verge of failing his class. Enough of them that he wasn't surprised when they cornered him begging for extra credit opportunities or for him to be kind to them because their second cousin on their mom's side was sick or their grandmother had died (not the same grandmother that died last semester, a different one...) or that their partner had broken up with them. Those were the most common complaints, and they usually came with an offer of some kind...a coffee, candy, promised tickets to an event, you name it. No one wanted to fail a class and lose their scholarships, lose their chances.

He was soft, but he wasn't that soft. There was plenty of extra credit he was willing to offer, he was even willing to accept service opportunities, internships, journalism...he wasn't too rigid to help them out, but he paid no attention to bribes.

(x)

“Someone is giving you gifts?” Derek asked, vaguely interested. The tacos in his little styrofoam container were of much greater interest as he attempted to dump hot sauce on them and eat without making a mess of himself in the process. A few onions and a mess of cilantro fell into his lap anyway. “You know who it is?”

“No idea. I have a list of students who are struggling to pass but I can't see any of them thinking a gift would help. Especially without taking credit. You would think that if they wanted me to raise their grade for coffee and chocolates they would make sure I knew who it was. They've both just been signed with the letter A.”

“For Aaron?”

“Perhaps.”

“Maybe they're buttering you up. Were the chocolates any good?” Derek flashed that wicked little grin at him and Aaron rolled his eyes in immediate response. Derek knew damn well Aaron wasn't going to eat them, they'd probably found their way into the trash bin after hours. Hidden so no one saw, no one's feelings were hurt. But there was no way in hell he would eat them.

“Should I tell someone? Would that be overreacting?”

“What would SSA Hotchner advise someone of in your situation?”

Aaron glared from behind his sunglasses and bit into his last taco. Half of the meat fell out into his tray and he groaned miserably. He’d been on such a roll.

“SSA Hotchner isn't the expert in obsessional crimes. I'm looking for SSA Morgan to answer the question.”

Derek laughs and shrugged, telling him that he was probably overreacting. Like usual. Drawing conclusions where there aren't any because he’s so damn tired he could barely even keep his eyes open at lunch. “You sure you didn’t hallucinate the chocolates?”

“Shut up.”

“No I’m serious. Your sleep has been shit lately, baby. Not to mention...have you considered that you miss the excitement? That you’re looking for something to get your blood up a little? I know this teaching thing is starting to drag you down, I told you it would. You’re not a desk job guy. Might be time to find you something else to do.”

Derek was absolutely correct about the lack of sleep part (and the missing action part), even if he was very wrong about Aaron overreacting.

(x)

The gifts stopped for a full week once grades were posted, and Aaron thought it was a good thing he never mentioned his gifts to anyone else. It was obviously an overreaction brought on by years of barely contained paranoia. It didn't start that way. Once upon a time he’d been able to separate his life from his job, the evil of men from his every day. Until Foyet, until Peter Lewis. Until evil men marked him for some reason he never really did understand. He'd spent hours, weeks, months agonizing over the why. What did he say or do to make Foyet focus so hard on him? What was it that made Lewis target him? He didn't fit victimology for either of them, not by a long shot, and yet...they'd both managed, in their own ways, to ruin his life.

“Professor?” asked a timid voice from the doorway. He glanced up from the paper he was examining to find a student he didn’t immediately recognize smiling at him. He was good with faces, and she did look somewhat familiar, but he couldn't place her. The insomnia strikes again.

“Yes?”

“I um...I hope this isn't too forward of me to ask, but I was wondering if I could have lunch in your office today? I wanted to talk about getting into your program...”

“Oh, I uh,” he started, at a loss for words. He'd never had lunch with anyone in his office, let alone a student. It felt inappropriate and uncomfortable. “You'll need to talk to an advisor. Admittedly, I don't know much about how that works.”

“Oh. I know. But I kind of just wanted to ask you some questions about the classes and the topics you cover. I took your criminology course last year but I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with that or move into forensics instead, you know? Do I want to learn how to catch them or clean up after them? Sorry, I'm rambling. Would you mind?”

She was already taking a seat at the chair in front of his desk before he even has a chance to register what was happening. He simply continued staring at her while he tried to switch gears from grading papers to using words. This not sleeping thing was going to be the death of him. It didn't matter as much when he was younger, he could dump gallons of coffee into his system and scrape by. Well, he still drank the coffee but not as much because it gave him heartburn so bad he thought he could breathe fire and he was not willing to live through that pain on purpose anymore. There was a time in his life that the pain was a necessary side effect in order to maintain his top of the food chain status...well now he was low on that food chain and he simply doesn’t need the stomach pain.

“I suppose I could talk for a few minutes. It isn't really appropriate for a student and teacher to eat lunch together like this, but as long as the door remains open, if you have a couple of questions I can try to answer.”

She didn’t seem to mind the rebuff, didn’t seem to register it at all really. Instead she set her lunch on her lap and began unwrapping a sandwich while she rattled off some background and finally a question. And then another. She hardly gave him time to speak, though when he did he found it somewhat easy to come up with what seemed to be a suitable answer to the questions at hand. She seemed pleased at least.

During a lull in conversation, he folded his hands together on the desk and glanced at the clock. He hadn't eaten his own lunch and would pay for that later with a bout of hunger induced heartburn that would probably make him sick, but there wasn’t any time left to do anything about it. He could chew a handful of Tums on the way to his classroom and hope for the best. It wouldn’t be the first time. Getting old came with a lot of new habits his younger self would get a good chuckle over. “If that's all, I really need to get prepared for my next class.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right. Well, thank you for your time...” she hadn't taken her eyes off of him. It was starting to make him more than a little self-conscious. He was acutely aware of every sound he made, every move of his body. The crack of his knee when he straightened his leg, the way his glasses made the bridge of his nose sweaty, the click of the desk clock punctuating it all like an external heartbeat. He kept his hands still lest she misinterpret something. She didn’t seem to care, though. She left without any fuss, thanking him again for his time and for having lunch with her. She called it a lunch date, and that made him vaguely uncomfortable but it passed quickly. It isn't the first time a student had bombarded him with questions in his office, and if he had tried to connect it with the gifts he might be a little suspicious, but he didn't bother.

The gifts had stopped and the questions seemed genuine. She didn’t come back, either. That fact put him at ease.

Two weeks went by quietly. Without a gift, without a question. Everything seemed to return to normal.

Until a student went missing. The first poster was placed on the bulletin board right outside his office.

Days later, another.

And then came a phone call from Emily. That part was inevitable. Chicago PD knew that he and Derek lived there now and they seemed almost eager these days to have the BAU come in and help them clean up. Probably their way of making something up to Derek, paying the debt they owed to him.

They would be paying that off for a long, long time. It was collecting interest faster than money owed to the IRS.

(2)

“Hotch?”

Spencer's voice carried through the sea of students moving briskly down the hall. It was familiar and slightly jarring, a voice that felt wrong – out of place. There was no way he could find the right mix of words to describe the feeling that voice elicited, the way it felt like coming home though he hadn't even located the source yet. Students moved in waves, in groups usually, laughing and talking or groaning about a strict professor pop quizzing on something they haven't even gone over yet. (“Just because you chose not to come to class on Tuesday does not mean we haven't been over the material,” Aaron has said on more than one occasion. The students seemed mostly unfazed by this statement. He was never really surprised, the memories of his own college years were distant now but he remembered that part. Too many classes, too many hours at his job, too few hours of sleep. Whatever the reason, he can understand it...but it was still his job to throw those quizzes at them anyway.)

Aaron looked around for the source of the voice, scanning the crowd until lighting on Spencer who stood slightly taller than the bulk of the students around him. He was waving a little excitedly. If he was a dog his tail would be wagging. Aaron waved back eagerly, realizing he'd never actually done that before. If he was a dog, he might give his tail a small test wag. To see if he liked it. A first time for everything. Seeing Spencer felt magnetic, he had to move toward him.

A salmon swimming upstream would have had more grace, but Aaron fought his way through the crowd to where Spencer stood in the open doorway of a teacher's lounge anyway. Elbows squeezed at his sides to make his lumbering less noticeable, his hips swerving one way and the next in a sad attempt not to bump into any of the students. He said “excuse me” more times in those few seconds than he had in years.

“Reid, what are you doing here?”

“Oh...um, Emily said she called you.”

Aaron frowned, searching his scattered memory banks for something. Maybe she had. Yes, she had. But what about? His sleep had dwindled to no more than three hours a night, and that three hours was if he was especially lucky. Just a phase like the moon but it sure managed to gobble up his memory storage. Still, he thought he could recall the conversation dimly. Her voice, anyway. Shrill, accusing, sarcastic, sweet. All of them rolled up into one comfortable friend shape. And even if he couldn’t remember exactly what she said (though he knew it was stored in there somewhere), he knew what they were in town for. It was all anyone could talk about.

Two students missing. No bodies yet.

It was all any of the teachers could talk about, and those who were aware of Aaron's previous life found an almost impossible addiction to cornering him. His office ceased to be the sanctuary it had been at one time. The student who never introduced herself was only the first of many, it seemed, who wanted to barge in on him during office hours and utilize his precious free time. And he found it impossible to say no.

There was a time in his life he'd had a scowl that would scare most people away, but not now. Now he was comforting because he knew. He understood. He'd seen it all. Most of it would haunt him forever; you can retire from the BAU but it never leaves you. What he knew, he wished he could erase. It no longer served him...but it served them.

They wanted to be told it was okay, that someone would catch the person responsible before it happened to any other students, that they didn't need to be afraid. He knew far too much for that. He refused to lie, and his refusal to lie was when the police decided they needed help. The people were busting down their doors saying they needed to call in help. Get their children back. Two missing now would multiply if they moved slowly.

When Emily called him, he vaguely remembered telling her he'd been expecting it. The police were in over their heads. He also remembered feeling a little jolt of excitement...he didn't like to admit it, especially to Derek, but he missed it. He missed being useful for more than diaper changes and helping with math homework. True, it was time for him to move on, things had gone too far, he’d been personally targeted by too many serial killers and he had Jack to think about. But if you asked him, if you caught him on a particularly honest sort of day...he would admit that he wasn't ready. He didn’t want a desk job. He didn’t want to teach.

Being forced out stung like regret.

“She did,” he said finally. Certain he'd spoken to Emily about it now, once he'd jumped down the rabbit hole of his scattered memories. “I'm sorry, I've been a little distracted.”

“Yeah,” Spencer added, nodding a little slowly. “I bet. Two students. Do you know them?” Spencer said “do”, not “did” so Aaron figured that was good sign, no bodies yet. It was very little hope but it was something.

“No, I don't. Did the entire team come?”

“Even Garcia. She probably could have done everything she’s doing from Quantico but I think Emily asked her to come because it was a Chicago case. She can't stop talking about the last time we were here and how we still haven't seen your house yet. She misses you. Both of you.”

“Well,” Aaron started a little hesitantly. They didn’t have a large home and the team...well it didn’t matter. They’d come all this way and if they had to cram into their small townhouse then they just would. Part of missing the BAU was missing these people. He wasn’t foolish enough to think it was only the job. “If you've got time when the case is finished, we would love to have you all over.”

“About that. I was actually hoping you might have time to...”

Here it was. Aaron knew it was coming. He was willing to bet that Emily or JJ was at the high school doing the exact same thing to Derek. They were crafty. Divide and conquer. All hands on deck.

Aaron narrowed his eyes, one hand shoved into his pocket while he fingered the worn shape of one of Derek’s challenge coins. He ran his thumb over and around, delighting in the smooth places and the rough places while he waited, trying to give the impression that he hadn't been anticipating this from the moment he laid eyes on Spencer across the hallway.

“Would you have time to come down to the police station later to look at what I'm working on? I could really use someone who knows the school...”

“I'm sorry, Spencer,” Aaron replied, accessing some internal autopilot. He had a script planned out for just such a question, because he knew it was only a matter of time. “Retirement has put a lot of things into perspective for me, and one thing I've learned is how easily I can fall back into old habits if I'm not careful. Leaving the BAU was among the hardest things I've ever done.”

Spencer nodded, crestfallen, though he didn't quite understand. There was something in Aaron's statement that felt like a big fat lie, or like he was desperately grasping at something that was already turning to dust in his hands. He could probably argue with Aaron right now and win without any real effort. His stance felt that shallow, that shaky, but he respected him enough not to.

“Okay,” Spencer replied quietly. Saying no sounded incredibly hard and he could understand that. Aaron had to walk away, and if he looked back now it might destroy the tenuous grip he had on his life. “That's okay. We'll let you know when the case is finished and maybe we can have dinner before we fly out.”

Derek, it turned out, wasn't so firm in his stance.

(3)

“You told them you'd help?”

“JJ came and did 40s with my football players. Told me that she'd beat my best player for an hour of my time. She put my entire varsity team to shame, Aaron. In heels. She was wearing fuckin' heels and she out-sprinted teenage boys. She probably would have outlasted me if I'd let her but I can't have my team seein' that.”

Aaron smirked but said nothing, just flipped the page of the book he was pretending to read in bed. He'd missed most of the last three pages thinking about Spencer asking him for help, and it would have been a lot better if Derek had also said no. Presented a unified front. He couldn’t be angry though. Just a little jealous. It was happening at his school, after all, and he wanted to say yes. Some part of him did anyway.

“Do you think I should help too?”

Derek nuzzled into Aaron's hip and wrapped his thighs up tight, giving them an almost painful squeeze. His anaconda move. It usually meant he wanted Aaron to put his damn book down so they could fool around before going to sleep, to pay attention to him, but Aaron wasn't sure what it meant under these circumstances. Didn't feel like fooling around was the next logical step in this conversation.

Still, it was always on the table.

“I think you gotta make up your own mind on this one.”

Aaron didn't appreciate that answer one bit and he made a little huffing noise to punctuate his dissatisfaction.

“What?”

“You're supposed to tell me I should stay out of it. That I retired for a reason.”

There was something nagging at him already. Something just out of reach. If he could just sleep, get one full night, he thought he could for sure grasp it. There was a connection he was longing to make and he knew it, he was close to it. But not close enough.

“Am I? And then what, you're gonna do it anyway and then we're gonna argue? No thanks. I'll back you up no matter what you decide but I won't tell you what to do.”

“You used to love bossing people around. Arguing with me was your favorite past time.”

“Yeah? I've grown up. You gotta make your own choices now buddy.”

His body made the decision for him a few hours later, while Derek lay basking in the silvery glow of the moonlight fast asleep. They had fooled around, quietly at first, clumsy and quick until the springs on the bed started groaning and then they finished up quickly. That was enough to put Derek to sleep but Aaron remained wide awake until much too late. Staring up at the ceiling, he thought about the students, their photos tacked up on bulletin boards. Have you seen me? Missing! He'd seen them, but those photos were common...often jokes, he'd come to find after taking the first few a little too seriously. Those were the WITSEC days, when he was terrified of his own shadow and the missing posters felt a little too on the nose. Gallows humor. He half expected to walk by one and see his own face or Jack's plastered there with dead eyes.

But these weren't jokes. People were worried. Students clustered together more, stayed after dark less. The library had all but been abandoned. They hadn't enacted a curfew yet but Aaron postulated that it wouldn't be long. There were staff meetings called and student safety agendas passed out to every professor who had a classroom. The phone call from Emily hadn't been a surprise. “We're being called out to Chicago. You've got some missing kids?”

“We do. Doesn't sound like anyone knows much.” He'd been coy even then. He really didn't know anything but he wasn't stupid...he could have if he'd tried. It wasn't his place. He wasn't some retired old cop still looking for a piece of the action, missing the glory days. Besides, he was pretty sure these were his real glory days. He was simply an old man worried about a couple of kids now. A spectator who just so happened to have insider knowledge and a front row seat.

At 1:15am an alert buzzed his phone nearly off of the table as he sat pouring over everything he knew, making notes to at least give to Spencer. He could do that much.

The alert made his blood run cold.

Another student missing. This time he did know the face, he knew it well. Malachai Peterson. He'd taken Aaron's criminology course last year and written an article for the law review that made Aaron and Derek argue for a full hour afterward. All in fun. Well, not all. Mostly. “So who won?” Malachai had asked when Aaron approached him about his article. “And more importantly, who agreed with me? You know...who was right?” Aaron only stared in wonder at this kid who was definitely going places and sighed. It was like looking in a mirror at the little shithead he'd been in school. Admitting that it was Derek who had agreed with the kid's stance, Malachai beamed. “Your partner is smart.”

It wasn't that Malachai was more important than the other two students, it was simply that he couldn't ignore three kids missing no matter how he framed his own need to keep himself separate from the BAU. How could he not help? He would have to be careful about how he approached Jack about it, there were a lot of hard feelings there, but he was certain Jack would see that he really had no choice. Not this time. What if it was one of his friends? The girl he had a crush on maybe?

That certainty waxed and waned for a few hours before he chewed a handful of Tums and decided he had to stop thinking about it. Had to try and get a few hours of sleep.

(4)

“Have there been any bodies yet?” Aaron asked, entering the conference room that they'd set up in the police station at promptly 6am. He hadn't slept a wink. Didn't feel too bad yet, but it would hit him soon. Turn the world to putty and his mind to mush. Luckily, Spencer was waiting with coffees and a grim map of Chicago one one side of the board, a blueprint of the school on the other. Spencer pursed his lips and Aaron sensed his immediate hesitation.

Telling Aaron the truth, that a body had been found, was going to crush him. Spencer was acutely aware of the fact that Aaron had lost some of his walls, had become softer or easier to read and it was obvious that this case was hitting him hard. So hard that whatever stance he’d taken previously about getting involved had only needed one night to completely fall apart.

“One, but it hasn't been identified yet. It's one of the females, probably Melissa because she was the first abduction. The body was...”

Aaron couldn't help flinching and feeling immediately embarrassed by it when Spencer described the state of the student's body. He was out of practice. Or maybe he was too close. Probably both. He simply wasn't the man he used to be, and maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

“Is someone at the M.E's office now?”

“Tara and Luke are there.”

“Have you been able to determine any patterns? Any connection?”

“Aside from the fact that they were all students at the same university, not yet. None of them had any real overlap in classes or extracurricular activities...Garcia is looking into their social media and private lives now. It's possible she'll find something that all of them have in common.”

“Do we know when Malachai went missing?”

“That's interesting. No. The parents didn't say anything right away, apparently he had a history of not calling for days at a time, very busy. And they just moved, so their mail is being forwarded...it took an extra day or two. They didn't know anything was wrong until the letter made it.”

“I know him,” Aaron said quietly. “He's one of my best students. A real pain in the ass, but a brilliant mind.”

“Did you notice him missing from class?”

“Actually,” Aaron started, feeling a little sheepish after what he'd just said. “He isn't taking any of my classes this semester. But he does check in frequently, he likes to push my buttons.”

Aaron stared at the blueprints and frowned, sipping the hot coffee in his hand. It was bitter and comforting. There was definitely heartburn in his future but damn it felt good in the moment. Worth the risk.

By the time Emily and Dave showed up, he and Spencer were deep in thought, bouncing ideas off of one another that ultimately went nowhere but it felt good to be on Spencer's wavelength after feeling so dull and so slow for the last couple of weeks. Things were kicking into gear. He allowed himself a moment to mourn this, he’d missed it more than he’d even been willing to admit to himself.

“Who let this old fart in here?” Emily asked with a grin. She looked like she'd slept. He was a little jealous. “Good to see you old man. Sorry you’re missing bingo at the old folk’s home to help out. We’ll get you back in time for the early bird special.”

“Old? You have more gray hair than I do,” he pointed out, standing to hug her. She smacked him in the arm first, and then came in for the hug. Tight and a little too long. She felt guilty that he was there. She hadn't asked him to come, didn't want to involve him. Derek, sure. He could walk away a lot easier, he'd done it on his own...he made that choice because he was ready. Aaron didn't and she knew it. He just got lucky that he found Derek here in Chicago, because if he hadn't...she didn't want to think about the husk of a man she'd have seen walking into Quantico ready to take his office back. A man so desperate to cling to something familiar after being un-tethered so long. She knew the feeling. It hadn't ended well for her.

Without a doubt she wanted to see him. And being that he worked at the university it had made sense to ask him questions, but she didn't mean for him to feel obligated to step back in, let alone take orders from her. His departure weighed heavily on her heart. Still, she forced a smile and let go of the hug to scrutinize the way he seemed to fill out his polo shirt and khakis differently, at the way his hair was long and a little shaggy in places, definitely more salt than pepper at the temples and flecked with sparkly strands that caught the fluorescent light from above eagerly. He had more laugh lines than frown lines, and her guilt somehow weighed heavier on her after that realization.

He was happy and she was ruining it.

“Mine looks better.” It was all she could muster, and she did so halfheartedly. Thankfully, before Aaron could call her out on how hollow her insult sounded, they were interrupted.

“I don't know about that...” Derek's voice chimed in from the doorway as he waggled a box of donuts in the air. Penelope and JJ flanked him with eager smiles. “I think he looks damn fine.”

“Ew. Gross. None of that here.”

“Whatever. You're just jealous, princess. You coulda had all of this...”

“Oh please. Not on your life.”

The team fell back into a familiar pattern of thought, of bouncing ideas off of one another, of sarcastic banter and camaraderie. While the differences were stark and unsettling they also somehow worked. There was some nostalgic whimsy and a clear bond that couldn't be broken by something as common as time passing. When Tara and Luke returned, things kicked up a notch. Derek and Aaron both found themselves wishing they’d had an opportunity to work with this team. This group of minds.

Aaron stood beside Derek naturally, like that was where he’d always belonged. He'd always done that, arms folded over his chest and deep in thought. Derek commanded the attention of the room like it was what he was born to do, all eyes on him. He knew the city inside and out, it was sewn into his very being, and he'd already figured something out.

“This isn't about the kids he's abducted,” he said, saying what they had all been thinking. “They're just tokens. You wanna know what I think? I think they were taken for attention, and then when it wasn't the right kind of attention they started dying. This is for us. I mean, this is for you guys.”

Emily nodded sagely. “I had my suspicions. Things like this usually escalate. I'll bet once we find him, we'll find that he started small. This is about one person, and it'll have started on a very personal level but that went unfulfilled so it gained momentum. Now he won't stop until the object of his desire gives him what he wants.”

“Which is?”

“Attention.”

Aaron felt a trickle of fear in his spine and he glanced at Derek, silent communication. Derek understood it immediately. It all fell into some sort of symmetry. They didn't have all of the pieces yet but his coffee and his chocolates were connected. When Derek opened his mouth to say something, Aaron shook his head adamantly. Not yet. They would push him into staying at the police station, put him in some false version of protective custody, and he thought for sure the kids remaining would die if he disappeared. If this really was about him, he had to continue looking. Had to make things look normal, or worse, look like he wanted to find them. Like the attention was wanted.

“We can't let you two go out into the field,” Emily announced as everyone prepared for their assignments. “You can consult but you're civilians.”

“As civilians, you can't really tell us what we can and can't do...” Derek pointed out with a sneaky smile. She glared at him, not at all joking. He hadn't seen her this serious very many times.

“No, I guess I can't. But I shouldn't need to remind you that you have children who depend on you not to be complete morons. Let us handle the danger.”

(5)

“You have an opinion now,” Aaron said as he ladled soup into bowls for everyone. He splashed some on his hand and hissed in surprise, wiping the broth on the towel nearby. “Are you going to tell me or make me guess?”

Derek, throwing spoons on the table, hummed and Jack smirked. Hank, oblivious to the new tension, slammed his fists on the table and delighted in the way it made the spoons (and Jack) jump. Their house was not quiet.

“You're gonna have to be more specific, I have opinions about a lot of things. Like how you always put barley in this damn soup even though I prefer rice.”

“You've never said anything.”

“Well, because it's not a big deal. Just an opinion. Barley's fine, rice is better.”

“Sure, it's just an opinion and you'll eat the barley but if I knew you had a preference I might make it the way you like. I do enjoy making you happy, you know.”

“You hearin' this guy?” Derek asked Jack with one eyebrow cocked. He knew very well that in this situation, he had an ally in Jack who had been dealing with Aaron's rigid cooking for a lot longer than he had. “You think he'd make it with rice?”

“No way. He'd tell you that it's called beef and barley soup, not beef and rice soup.”

Aaron let out a long, miserable sigh. They weren't wrong, that was the worst part. “What does this have to do with your thoughts about me helping out on this case?” he asked, hauling bowls of steaming hot soup to the table. Derek grabbed the others and followed him out of the kitchen with an exasperated look on his face.

“Look. Do I like it, you getting involved? No. I didn't really think much of it at first cos I figured you were gonna say no but now...I think that place is bad for you. I think you didn't sleep last night because it's already getting its claws back in there and I don't like that. But I know why you showed up this morning, I recognized that kid's name too. I get it. So whatever opinion I have...doesn't matter. I just want you to be smart about it.”

“You think I won't be?”

“I think that you're not as over the BAU as you think you are. And I think that could be dangerous if you're not careful. I think you still miss it and helping is going to make you question your decision, and that worries me...maybe I'm bein' selfish there, but I like the life we've got right now and the BAU doesn't fit into it.”

“You want me to tell them I can't help?”

“No. I'm kinda excited to be fighting crime with you again. But I worry about you, that's all. I know what makes you tick. You miss it and I think that it's dangerous when you tell yourself you don't. If it's a one time thing, it'll be fun. I like this part of us too. Like old times. But what if you can't let it go? What if they get on that jet and head back and take part of you with them? What am I left with?”

“I love our life too, Derek.”

“I know. I'm not sayin' you don't, I'm just sayin' that maybe you miss it more than you let on. You miss the excitement. You got all antsy about some student bribing you with coffee and sweets for a good grade...”

“Okay. Point taken.” He had yet to tell Derek how he’d been feeling about teaching. About the way it made his soul ache for more...of anything. About how walking into that school filled him with a sense of dread long before the students started going missing.

“What ever came of that, huh?” He hated the idea of someone having their eye on Aaron, and it was easier to make light of it than give weight to what they were both thinking now. That it might be connected. That Aaron was the center of the whole thing. That the coffee and chocolates meant something dangerous.

“I said point taken.”

Jack stirred his soup quietly, eyes flickering from one to the other while he waited for an argument. A real argument. Those didn't happen often, and they were usually over before they really got going, but this one had all the makings of a good one. An epic battle for the ages. Even Hank stared wide eyed at them while he mushed soup in his little fists and spread it out over the table in front of him. “Uck spoop,” he said as he smashed little bits of barley into the wood.

To Jack's disappointment, it all but fizzled out there. Either they would talk about it later or it was settled entirely, he wasn't sure. But things went quiet and Aaron yawned and Hank spilled what remained in his bowl into his lap and Derek groaned and took Hank to the bathroom to run a bath.

Dinner as usual.

“How was school?” Aaron asked automatically and Jack groaned this time. He had opinions about Aaron helping the BAU but his opinion, so far, hadn't been asked. He was a little touchy about it and decided not to control his teenage mouth...or the eye roll.

“Fine. School was fine. I've got a lot of homework...can I eat my soup in my bedroom?”

That was that. Aaron was left alone at the table, soup dripping onto the wood floor from one side, his muddy tired thoughts revolving around a photo of Malachai Peterson. He yawned again and glanced at the clock, wondering if it was too early to call it a day and head to bed. He was acutely aware that he was no one's favorite person at the moment.

(5)

Three nights of insomnia and Derek knew as well as Aaron did that this was a bad idea. The problem was, two more students were missing and they weren't any closer to figuring anything out, with or without help. Aaron found himself working in his classroom during the day and staying late in the office to make sure nothing happened. If students were going missing from his school, that was where he could help. He was organizing teachers and administration, trying to create some sense of safety. He would spend a couple of hours at the police station with Spencer and then come home to dinner with his family. Dinner on time one night, late the next.

No one said anything.

To be fair, though, Jack wasn't saying anything to him at all. Not a word. He’d gone radio silence, even to the point that he’d taken all of his meals right to his bedroom and shut the door with a finality that made Aaron’s heart sink. The BAU took his mother, ruined his life, and of course he was upset. Aaron thought about backing out. Saying he’d done what he could and washing his hands of it. Hell, he might even take some vacation time just to be out of the school.

Except he knew he couldn’t do that. Even entertaining the thought seemed silly. He was already in too deep, and furthermore, some latent anxiety told him that he was at the center of it all. Somehow.

In the meantime, he found papers in his office trash can crumpled into balls that hadn't belonged to him. He asked Spencer, discretely, to have them checked for prints without saying why. The last thing he wanted to do was look like a paranoid old man but he was pretty sure they were important. Could have just been from his office mate, but he had his own can – why would he walk to the other side of the office to use Aaron’s can?

(6)

“He stayed at the station late last night,” Emily told Derek over coffee at his desk. His office was a mess of sporting equipment, some broken and needing repair, some signed by famous athletes, really just athletic chaos. There was a net tacked to the ceiling, dangling precariously and filled with various balls – footballs, volleyballs, basketballs, soccer balls. Some nice and new, some with chunks taken out of them or deflated. There were tackle bags and dinged up old weights, baseball bats, hockey sticks, all lending themselves to a general odor of chemical cleaners, dust and sweat. Except his desk, that was pristine. “I think he and Spencer might be onto something though.”

“He's not sleeping,” was Derek's only viable complaint. It was quick. A little flash of anger though it wasn't really directed at anyone in particular. It wasn't like they'd been forced into helping, they made the choice and it had been fun at the start to feel that rush again, to know they were trying to save lives. It was just...they got out. They got away, and their lives were better for it. So much better. And now...he could see it shifting too quickly, spiraling out of control. If this case was solved soon, they might still have a chance. But if it took too long, or if it ended badly, whatever misgivings Aaron was having about his job would manifest in other ways and then they’d be in real trouble. He groaned miserably. “They'd better be onto something.”

If they weren't, if Aaron was just not sleeping with no end in sight, he couldn't imagine how much longer this could be sustainable. He was worried more about their lives than the case. He still had a firm grasp on where he was and what was of value.

“Why didn't you say no?”

“How do we say no to helping people, Em? These are kids disappearing. One of them is a kid we know.”

“Right.” She didn't look convinced. “Have you heard from him today?”

“He said Spencer was going to meet him at his office...”

“Nerds.” She just wanted to lighten the mood. Judging by haunted the look in Derek’s eye, it hadn’t worked.

“Hey, did he tell you about the coffee? And the chocolates?” He knew he shouldn’t be bringing that up, it went against every discussion the two of them had had recently but maybe it was time.

“What are you talking about?”

“A couple weeks before you guys got here, he found a coffee in his classroom. Someone had left it for him. He didn’t drink it…”

“Of course. It’s Hotch.”

“Right. Well then a little later he found a box of chocolates on his desk. They both were addressed to “A”, so we assumed Aaron but...I guess it could also be the person signing their own name.”

“He didn’t eat those either.”

“No. He threw them away. I told him he was probably overreacting, drawing connections when there weren’t any but I’m not so sure about that now…”

“Was this before the first abduction?”

“Yes.”

“Shit. If you’re right then he’s the center of it. Try calling him.”

Derek was already on it. His stomach was twisting in knots, tighter and tighter with each unanswered ring.

(x)

Spencer had a lot of ideas about what Aaron’s office might look like. At first he thought maybe it would look just like his office at Quantico, a smattering of achievements, well-loved and used books, some photos or relics from Jack’s childhood, maybe a vacation photo of he and Derek...but it was bare. There was nothing in it but books and files that related directly to his coursework. Aaron noted Spencer’s disapproval and shrugged.

“I started working here during WITSEC. No personal effects. I just got used to it.”

Spencer nodded. “I understand.” It looked like Aaron carried his own personal prison around with him in the same way Spencer did. It looked different but it wasn’t really, not when you whittled it down to the core. “What did you want to show me?”

Aaron reached beneath his desk and grabbed a small wastebasket with a tiny box of chocolates inside. The thing was still wrapped in plastic, in the same condition it was bought in. “This. It was left on my desk just before the disappearances. I threw it in this wastebasket so whoever gave it to me wouldn’t be offended, but it was un-signed and I - “

Before he could continue, a face appeared in the doorway. It was the student who joined him for lunch uninvited. “Professor H,” she began, eyes suddenly flashing a nervous energy as they flickered from Aaron to Spencer to the chocolates. “You didn’t like them?”

He stared, dumbfounded for a moment and then it all clicked. Quickly, he tried to save what there was to save, to keep he and Spencer out of trouble. “The thought was sweet, I do appreciate them. I just don’t eat food given to me unless I know the source. We had a few frightening run-ins with…”

“Cannibals,” Spencer said, following Aaron’s lead. He’d already managed to slip his hand into his pocket to speed dial Emily. “We had this case where a guy fed one of his victims to a search party. The people out searching for her. I haven’t eaten chili since, have you Hotch?”

“Not once.”

The student stared at them with her mouth open for a beat too long before forcing a too-wide smile. “I see.” She was blocking the doorway with her body, standing in such a way that they had no real way to get a handle on the situation. Aaron was armed, but it was his ankle holster only...Emily had forbidden he and Derek to go into the field, and if she’d seen him packing, she would have flipped her lid. As it was she probably knew he was wearing this but let it slide.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name when we ate together the other day,” Aaron said, smiling as soft as he could manage. “I was mentioning your interest to a colleague and realized how rude of me not to ask.”

She beamed at that and hugged her bag close to her chest. “Ashby. Ashby Hastings.” Aaron nodded.

“I’ll remember that when I see her next.”

“No you won’t. You’ll forget like everyone else.”

There it was. Spencer’s blood ran cold and he wanted to glance over at Aaron, an instinct to look to him for guidance...except he stopped himself abruptly because he was the FBI Agent with the gun slung around his waist and Aaron was, for all intents and purposes, a victim. God that felt weird to think. And this student in front of him, small and benign as she looked with her mousy brown hair and her big doe eyes was a murderer.

“Ashby,” Spencer said, approaching cautiously. “Professor Hotchner and I need to get going, we have a meeting we can’t miss. It was very nice to meet you.”

She shook her head in an oddly twitchy fashion, like she was arguing with herself, and reached into her bag. In her hand was a gun, now aimed at Spencer.

“You can’t take him from me. Everyone keeps trying to get in our way. I just…”

“It’s okay, Ashby. Where do you want to go?” Aaron stepped around the desk, his hands raised slightly from his sides to show they were empty.

She startled at that, switching the gun from Spencer to Aaron and back again. “I have something to show you. In the photo lab.”

“Where is that?” Spencer asked, though he already knew. He’d studied the blueprints of the entire school. The photo lab was in the basement. She was going to try to get Aaron into the basement.

“You don’t need to come. You can go to your important little meeting.” She moved out of the way, motioning for him to pass by her with her gun. He frowned at the gesture and thought briefly about what the best course of action would be. Leave and get help right away? He knew where she was taking Aaron. But he didn’t want to let Aaron out of his sight. Who knows what her plan was once she had him alone. Stalker cases never ended well, and if anyone knew that, it was Aaron. He’d play along as long as he could but eventually he would upset her, do something to ruin the fantasy and then he’d end up dead. When he chanced a look at Aaron, he understood -

“Tell Emily I’m sorry,” Aaron said as he walked out of the office beside Ashby and her gun. Spencer waited until they were nearly out of sight before he grabbed his gun and followed.

(7)

The sound of Aaron's body hitting the ground was sudden and shocking. It could just as easily have been the unsub or it could have been Spencer, but somehow Derek knew it wasn't. He knew it in his bones.

“Dammit,” he groaned, his heart skipping more than one beat. It nearly stopped, along with his breath as he followed behind Luke and JJ. “No going in the field” Emily had warned, had repeated many times, but she couldn't stop him. Not when he knew Aaron was down those stairs in the dark with the unsub, how and why he couldn't fathom except that every fear he'd had came true. He knew Aaron would get in too deep. He'd catch a break, he and Spencer would crack it wide open, and then the two of them would put themselves into a situation they didn't want to be in. Couldn’t get out of.

The problem was, they didn't mean to.

“What happened?” Derek hissed, approaching cautiously with his flashlight poised ahead of him. Afraid to point it right at Aaron, he captured Spencer in the beam. He was hovering over Aaron's limp form, his hands flying fast over his body, searching for wounds beneath folds of soft fabric and tufts of hair. There hadn't been a gunshot but there was blood. Enough to be scary.

“She went that way!” Spencer shouted angrily at them, cursing them for stopping when he was already there. One set of hands was plenty and of all people he did not want Derek hovering over him. Not now. “Emily and Tara are following her. Go, go!”

“We need a medic!” Rossi shouted into his comm, dropping down beside Aaron and Spencer. Derek followed Luke and JJ down the corridor, there wasn't anything he could do for Aaron that Spencer and Rossi couldn't. What he could do was get the damn unsub and end this.

Of course nothing was ever quite that simple. There was a mass of confusion, of loud gunshots flashing in the dark, bullets connecting with metal, boilers hissing steam and voices calling out for an end to the shootout. They were going to destroy the school at this rate.

“You're surrounded, Ashby! There's nowhere to go!”

“You kill me, you never find those other kids...”

Emily glanced at Derek in the dark, a desperate and fearful look. Kids? Two more bodies had been found so far, she should only have one by their count, just Malachai, he was the only one she had kept even after more went missing. She was playing her trump card.

“We don't want to hurt you, Ashby,” Aaron said in a weak, hollow voice. A. She wasn't writing A for Aaron, she was writing A for Ashby. That thought had been circling his mind since the moment he saw her face. She’d signed her name and if he’d only been more with it, been awake instead of riding the waves of insomnia, he would have asked her name. He would have put it together. When Garcia sent her information over to Emily at the precinct, Derek’s heart sank. He knew. “Reid just sent me an SOS. I think they have her. We need to move fast.” One quick search through her laptop led to photos of Derek, of Jack, of Hank. Aaron’s press conferences from years before, papers he'd written, everything. Even information about Savannah overseas. Her entire hard drive was devoted to Aaron Hotchner and his life. She had even followed him home, followed his son to school, his partner to work...she knew everything about him.

But he wasn't afraid of her. She didn't seem to want to harm him at all, she just wanted him to notice her. He could do that. Or so he hoped, because in the condition he was currently in...he might not have much time to get the job done. The world swam in a sea of muted black and gray, swirling like an angry whirlpool. He was doing everything in his power not to be sick.

There was no way he could sit up on his own, let alone walk. He was being helped down the hallway, draped over Spencer and Rossi's shoulders, blood running into his eyes from a wound on his scalp. He needed medical attention fast, but he also knew he was the only one who could talk to her. She wouldn't listen to anyone else, she'd done all of this for him. It was one big love letter.

“They were your favorite chocolates!” she cried out into the darkness. “The ones with the gooey mint inside. You didn’t even look. You just tossed them in the trash.”

“I’m sorry, Ashby,” he said quietly, though it came out in more of a jumble than he’d hoped. She laughed at that and he decided it was in his best interest to stay quiet. She was building up to something.

His getting involved was by design. All of this was. When he scorned her gifts, she made sure the BAU came, knowing he couldn't say no. The coffee and chocolate had been a mistake, she knew that now. He wouldn't accept gifts of food from a stranger, that made sense. It had hurt at first but she forgave him. But the disappearances, well they were the perfect. He couldn't not help. It was all just bait and he took it. He’d never felt more like a silly old man.

“Do you like it? This was all for you. You won't even give me a chance. Our lunch date meant so much to me, the way you looked at me and talked to me...but then you ignored me. I had to get all of these people out here just for you to pay attention.”

“I know that you feel like an outcast. That these students mocked you, and that you've been keeping score. I know that Melissa and Tamika made fun of you in the showers, and they told you that a man like me would never see anything interesting in someone like you. I know that Shelly told you I only liked men and that you were being ridiculous. And I know that Malachai stood you up for a date...” Aaron was speaking between pained breaths, it came out slow and almost slurred in places. His arms being raised pulled at the angry, splintering pain of his broken ribs. Derek was afraid for him, but he kept his gun trained on the unsub as he listened to his partner try to grasp at the deep roots of his crisis negotiation knowledge. He would let Aaron try this tactic, try talking, but he wasn’t planning to let it go on too long.

Any move at all and he was shooting. He was not fucking around.

“Malachai thinks he's so smart,” Ashby said, and in the flare of the flashlight on her face Derek could see tears and the flash of the gun. She had it to her own head now. “And so do you. You just think he's so great.”

“He is smart,” Aaron whispered, hissing when Spencer moved against his side. His ribs flared pure white hot pain, and there was a nagging pull in his hip that felt like fire. “But so are you. I read your article on BTK in the school newspaper. Your analysis was...” his eyes closed for a moment and he almost gave in. His vision was swimming, going from black to gray, spotted with flashing lights. The pain in his head was almost overwhelming. “I'm sorry. My head hurts quite a lot, Ashby. Your analysis of BTK was fascinating. You um...” he sucked in a ragged breath. “You asked me questions about switching programs. If you haven't made up your mind yet, you're surrounded by the best team of profilers the FBI has, and I'm sure they'd love to talk to you. If you could just...” Aaron went limp mid-sentence, unable to hold on any longer. The pain in his head was shredding his conscious. Rossi quickly pushed him over entirely onto Spencer so he could get his own gun. Things were going to happen fast if he wasn't able to continue.

Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron, holding his entire body up as long as he could.

“Just what?” Ashby asked, her voice thick with tears. “I just love you so much. Don't you see that? Don't you see how good I could be for you? You need someone to take care of you. Who appreciates you.”

Derek scowled and primed his trigger finger, feeling slighted by the attack. As if he wasn’t a good partner. As if he wasn’t everything Aaron needed and more. As if their relationship was trivial and meaningless.

“Agent Hotchner isn't able to speak right now. You hurt him very badly. We need to get him to a hospital...would you put down your weapon and come with us?” Rossi didn't even flinch, didn't hesitate when he called Aaron Agent, and Ashby frowned.

“You mean Professor Hotchner. He's retired. He's finished with you.”

“Right. I'm sorry, just a force of habit. I've known him for many years.”

“Let me see him.”

“No. He's hurt. Ashby, you need to put the weapon down.”

It didn't take long before she decided she was being lied to, that they were concealing something under the shroud of dark. That something about Rossi didn't sit well, that Aaron was being kept from her on purpose. That he was simply pretending to be hurt so she would listen to them and do as they said. Just hiding from her.

Or maybe dead, and if he was dead then she had nothing left. All of this was for nothing. That thought did her in, and soon after the bullets were flying again madly into the darkness. She didn't really intend to kill anyone, she had her eyes closed. She really just wanted them to kill her. If Aaron was gone she had nothing left.

Derek felt a bullet graze his arm, slicing hot fire through his skin like a molten knife. He did not miss this part of it. This bullshit. He really fucking hated being shot at, and he hated actually getting hit even more.

“Spencer,” Aaron whispered, grappling with consciousness. The sound of Derek crying out that he'd been hit stirred something in him that had been dormant a long time now. He could feel it vibrating in him. “My gun...”

“No way. Morgan will kill me.”

“Spencer...now.”

He managed to grab his ankle holster, his familiar friend, and in the madness he could somehow make out Ashby's face flickering in the flashlights and gunfire. His vision was red, eyelashes sticky with blood, but his sight...he knew he would hit her. He had the only vantage point that was a sure success, no tanks or other pieces of large equipment in the way. Some feeling, a strange icy feeling, flowed from his shoulder to his fingers and he knew...

Bullets were flying, she was going to hit one of them soon. He could hear Derek's voice, mad as a damn hornet, and he knew that for now Derek was okay. Hurt, yes, but not dying. Not yet. He had to do it now or she was going to kill someone. If he hesitated. And that someone might be Derek...his righteous anger coursed through him.

He aimed his sight right between her eyes and clicked down just a notch, just enough to put her down without killing her. He didn't want to kill her, he felt sad for her. He felt guilty for whatever he'd done to make her feel this way. But he was also angry that this entire situation was happening at all. She fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes, a heavy thud, blood seeping out of a wound in her shoulder. She didn't try to get back up, didn't even try to move. She just cried.

“Is he dead?” she asked at the sound of the gun being kicked out of the way of her hand. “Is Aaron dead?”

“No. He shot you.” JJ's voice, stern and uncharacteristically cold, rang clear through the new unsettled silence. He could hear Ashby laugh, then, and it sent a chill down his spine. Laughing and crying.

“But he didn't kill me...” she sang quietly, smiling. “He must love me. He didn't kill me.”

“I will if you don't shut the fuck up,” Derek spat, walking past her with his hand covering the wound on his arm. Blood pooled between his fingers and the feel of it just made him angrier. He wasn't an FBI Agent and he sure as shit didn't have to watch himself anymore. This was fucked up and he was pissed. No, he wasn't going to shoot her, he had no desire to go to prison himself but he'd be damned if he was going to sit there while she spouted off about how much Aaron must love her if he had the shot and didn't take it.

Meanwhile, Aaron lay slumped against Spencer, the smell of gunpowder fresh in his nostrils. “...'m gonna be sick...” he mumbled seconds before emptying the contents of his stomach all over the ground where Spencer had been moments before. His reflexes were just sharp enough to save him from that. Derek rushed to where Aaron was, sat down beside him while he tried to get the sick feeling to pass, and frowned.

“What'd you have to go and chase this chick for huh? You couldn't wait?”

“Didn't chase her. She would...she was going to kill Malachai...did you get him? Is he safe?”

“Yeah, man. We got him, he was in the closet in the photo lab. He's with Tara now. What the hell happened? You said you wanted to show Reid something and next thing I know you're unconscious at the bottom of a stairwell...”

“I showed Reid the chocolates...my office...she walked in...it’s the student I had lunch with, Derek. The coffee...the chocolates...she wanted to...to show me something down here…” Malachai, he thought. She was going to show him what she’d done to Malachai. He gagged painfully again, this time a strangled sob escaped along with it. His chest hurt so bad. It had been a long time since he'd had a head injury that made him sick. “She let Reid go, but he followed us. When she went after him, they were near the stairwell. I got her off of him, and she threw me down the stairs. She didn't mean to hurt me...said she was sorry before she ran...she said she loved me...I didn't even know her name until today and she said she loved me...” He wasn't crying, exactly, but he was damn close. This was too much, it was just too fucking much. What was it about him that made people behave this way? Foyet? Peter Lewis? Now this?

“Looks like we need to start up our hand-to-hand training again huh?” Derek asked, keeping his voice as casual and light as he could. He pulled Aaron close to him. Just having him close right now was all he really wanted. The sound of his body hitting the ground, the silence that followed, it made him feel hollow inside. “You need a refresher course.”

They wheeled Ashby out on a stretcher and she stared at them sitting on the floor waiting their turn, at Derek holding Aaron there by his side. The sight of her made him angry all over again. But he won, he was the one who got to hold Aaron. Who got to take him home and kiss him and love him. It was childish of him to be angry like this, the girl had serious problems and he did feel for her...but she’d nearly taken something from him. Something big. She’d been stalking his family, prepared to go to great lengths. She had pictures of his toddler on her laptop, pictures of Jack who had already lost one parent to violence. He wasn’t sure he wanted to share any of that with Aaron, it might be better that he didn’t know.

Aaron didn't seem to notice her passing at all, he just let his miserable head rest against Derek's shoulder. His t-shirt was cool against Aaron's too hot cheek. It would be fine if he just...closed his eyes...for a minute...

(8)

“A concussion, two broken ribs, stitches in your scalp and a pretty badly bruised up hip. You're a complete shit show, you know that?” Derek said every word with love and exhaustion competing for top spot. He thought they were past all of this, but he had to admit...it was about one million times better sitting side by side like this, knowing they would go home and lick their wounds together. Sleep in the same bed, care for each other. No one was going home alone. That was a far cry from the old days.

They both had enough sick leave stored up to take real time away from work. To heal. Hell, the university was practically throwing sick leave at Aaron to make sure he was placated. Didn’t find a reason to pursue legal action...he wasn’t even thinking about it, though. But he’d take the time off.

And they would both have to tell Jack what happened. Do that walk of shame. He was already upset, this was just going to make it unbearable. Maybe they’d take a trip, go hole up at the lake cabin for a few weeks, repair things with some quiet quality time in the woods.

“You're not so hot yourself. You have twelve stitches. That tattoo's never going to be the same.”

Derek was a little upset about that. About the bullet ripping right through his ink, but he had been thinking about a new tattoo and maybe this was the reason to do it. Have it fixed, changed to meet where he was in life now. Who he was. In the meantime, his arm hurt like a bitch. They’d stuffed it into a sling for him and while he usually ripped them right back off, this time...he was going to leave it. The way it took the pressure off eased the pain some.

“You remember what Spencer was saying a few weeks ago? About one of us getting hurt and not having rights in the hospital?”

“Me. He said me, Derek. But yes I recall the discussion.”

“Guess he wasn't so far off, huh?”

It hadn't been easy, getting in there. They had to wait in separate triage rooms, sign papers, call him the emergency contact in the interim just to move things along. It was a little insulting having their entire relationship relegated to the emergency contact line of an intake form.

“I suppose not. At least we were both conscious when we came in. It could have been a lot worse.”

“Yeah. Might not be so fortunate next time. So...I was thinking...you wanna hitch your cart to this wagon officially? Bet we could find a chaplain around here somewhere and...”

“I do want to marry you, Derek. But not in a hospital with a splitting headache and stitches in my head. Can we wait a couple of weeks?”

“I've already been waiting a lifetime, what's another couple weeks huh?”

Aaron laughed and groaned with tears in his eyes, one palm pressing into his aching side. “Don't make me laugh. Please.”

“Right. Sorry.” Derek put his arm around Aaron and rested his head against Aaron's temple. “You know, it’s pretty cool. I'm basically getting married to Indiana Jones. College professor who likes to throw down a little action montage in his spare time. You haven't lost anything in your old age, even if you do eat Tums with your coffee and think I don’t see it.”

“Derek…” Aaron began, ready to tell him he was having second thoughts about the whole school thing. About teaching. Derek seemed to know without him saying a word.

“Okay okay. Let's go home, the team is coming over for dinner tonight and I'd like to get a few hours of sleep before they take over our house. We’ll talk about the future career path of Aaron Hotchner afterward...”

It was 3am. The last time they'd seen 3am like this...well they couldn't remember. They were beat. Aaron thought he might even be able to get more than three hours of sleep.

(x)

The noise level in their small house was almost deafening, and Aaron was for once glad that the hearing in his right ear was slowly giving out. He was propped up on the couch with ice on his hip (and his head) while Derek and Jack ushered anyone who wanted it around for the grand tour. There wasn't much to it, the house wasn't large. It was the perfect size, old woodwork, simple neutral design, Aaron's damn boats. The kids' rooms had more personality than anywhere else except the backyard which was a sight to behold. Derek had built boxes and boxes while Aaron filled them with dirt and plants and life. They had a hammock that stretched between two old maple trees that would blanket their yard in gold to be raked up once autumn hit.

“Your house is nice,” Emily said, plopping down on the couch beside Aaron. He let out a little whimper at the jarring movement and nodded.

“It is.”

“I don't know what I pictured, really...but this isn't it. It's so...”

“Normal?”

“Yeah. Normal. You and your fucking boats...what's with that anyway?” She was staring at a painting of an old boat hull over the mantle. Gray and brown wood set against shocking green water and huge evergreens. He followed her gaze and smiled.

“My grandfather painted that. He had a cabin on a lake in northern Idaho, and there's this boat that was sunk there. The Tyee II. You can still see the hull today, it's sunk in this little bay. It was the last wood-burning tugboat on the lake, hauling logs to the Diamond Matchstick Company. He sat on the beach and painted this right after my grandmother told him she was pregnant with my father and wanted to move back to Virginia to be closer to her family. When I lived in Seattle, Haley and I took a trip over to that lake. We stayed in a gorgeous resort and managed to find our way up the eastern side of the lake all the way to the wreckage of this boat...it looks almost the same now, a little worse for the wear but preserved shockingly well. On the mantle, there's a framed photo of Haley in the water beside the boat as it was when we went.”

“Okay, warn me next time you're going to give me a history lesson...” she smirked, tossing back the rest of the blood red wine in her glass. “I'm kidding. That's amazing. Sometimes I wonder why I decided not to have roots like this. But then I look at Derek's face yesterday when he saw you on the ground and I know...I can't do that.”

“You could.”

“I don't want to.”

“That's fine. You don't have to.” He let out a small sigh and leaned to the side, resting heavy against her. He was too tired to support himself any longer. Everything hurt. “I saw the way you looked at me yesterday.”

“Yeah. Don't you ever...ever do anything stupid like that again. I have Luke and Matt to break down doors and make stupid fucking decisions now, I don't need you and Morgan adding to my troubles. God. Seriously, Hotch. Tell Emily I’m sorry?! What were you thinking?!”

“Where is Matt?”

“Oh, he's on leave, his wife just had another kid. They have so many, like probably a whole sports team...all adorable. With him out, I thought I was in the clear...wasn't going to have anyone trying to get themselves killed for a while...”

Aaron smiled. “There's nowhere to add any more gray hairs, you’re all full up.”

“Oh, fuuuuuuuuuuuck you asshole. You retire and move in with someone you love and you think you suddenly have jokes?” She didn't move though, not even when he started to feel heavy. Not even when she wanted more wine but his head was on her shoulder and she could feel his shallow, pained breaths starting to slow and even out. She just managed to flag down Tara who refilled her glass for her, offering a sweet little wink for her trouble. “You know, you guys could consult for us sometimes. No field work, for the love...no field work. But you could consult, if you wanted to. Having you two doing some of the thinking really helped us out. You saved that kid.”

“The team saved him,” Aaron corrected, his eyes drifting shut. “He would never have been in trouble...you never would have been there if not for me. It was all my fault.” His head hurt so bad, he just wanted to sleep. Not allowed to watch television or even read, not allowed to do much of anything but live life as a fixture on the couch for a few days...he didn't miss this. Not even a little. He could hear Jack in the kitchen telling Tara about him being little and knowing that his dad got hurt by whatever meal they had when he got home. If he was okay, they would cook. If he wasn't, it was hot dogs or canned soup. Something that required minimal effort, minimal time, minimal standing. Or Jessica would stay and cook them something, but he didn't like that as much because hurt dad didn't bother forcing him to eat vegetables the way aunt Jess did.

He peered into the swirling house, a sea of people in shapes and colors and sizes that confused his rattled brain and smiled. This house had seen its fair share of gatherings with Derek's family, or co-workers, Jack's friends, preschoolers for Hank's birthday...but it was a strange comfort having this particular group of people all under their roof. Luke and Spencer were standing and admiring the Tyee painting over the fireplace with their hands locked together (while Luke asked Spencer if he knew about all of Aaron's marksmanship awards and wondering if he could talk Derek into some hand to hand time just to see if he could take him), JJ and Tara were entertaining Jack in the kitchen, Penelope hadn't put Hank down the entire time she'd been in the house. She was glued to him, and he was thrilled to have someone to babble to about everything he loved. Aaron was a little worried she might try to stuff him in her purse when it came time to leave. He was pretty attached to the little guy. Derek and Dave were out back smoking cigars while Derek asked him for landscaping advice he didn't really need, he just liked to listen to Dave talk. He missed that. Dave had landscapers and groundskeepers who did the work for him, but he was the one who spent all the time dreaming up his spaces. He lived for entertaining, for filling his home with people he loved, and Derek thought now he understood exactly why. Their home never felt lonely, and it was rarely quiet, but this was a special kind of alive that he didn’t realize he was missing. These old friendships, they were missed.

“We're going to get married, you know.” Aaron whispered it, already half asleep, through barely parted lips. Emily nodded and hummed. “Soon. You'll come back for that won't you?”

“I wouldn't miss it for the world." She paused, licking her lips and glancing around the room at all of these people she loved who seemed so at home in this place they'd never been. Home wasn't a place, it was people, she'd come to learn that the hard way. "Are you happy, Hotch? Even after all of this? You’re really really happy with this life?” She couldn’t shake it, that guilty feeling that in the morning they’d all go back to Virginia and she’d return to her office that used to be his office. Her desk that was his desk. She needed to hear him say he wanted it this way. He would choose this way again and again. She needed it like she needed air.

“Mmm,” he hummed, nodding. “Yes. I am. Stop worrying. Let me sleep."