#i just really want to repost my stuff since i deleted my account

[hylwicks]

Ninja Turtle Game art I still really like

[umbraticstickerz]

Content warning for talking about nsfw topics and mention of suibaiting

I use the term 'schizo' here as a shortening of 'schizophrenia' this is just for ease of writing as I'm mentally exaughsted. I do not condone people using the term 'schizo' if they're not schizophrenic.

Okay I'm far calmer now but I feel this needs to be stated because I genuinely can't believe so many are tolerating this behavior.

Minors SHOULD NOT be posting kink art, at all. Especially they shouldn't be showing it to other minors regardless of if the work is 'sfw'.

The fact I've seen several people tolerating a minor making inflation and weight gain content and calling those against it fatphobic genuinely disgusts me. A person is not fat phobic for criticizing a kid making kink content.

The excuse that it was just comfort stuff doesn't work either because not only were hastags for the kinks themselves used, but an art piece reposted on that account was actual genuine fat fetish artwork. Terms like Vore, and talking about wanting to make a vore piece were also mentioned. Vore is inherently a kink and exclusively a kink for being eaten alive. Kinks themselves can be coping mechanisms so trying to claim it is such doesn't change that it was kink content. Regardless you would've been actively putting yourself in harms way for creeps who did view it sexually to interact with you.

Lilith you, and your friends, actively were harassing Haz for criticizing(justifiably) vaguely what you were doing. I especially do not like how you actively tried to paint an anonymous person sending asks that can be literally anyone, hell can literally be you because you can send anon asks to yourself, as if the Anon was Haz with literally 0 proof. I'm genuinely pissed that you only apologized to me, which you did after I made it clear to you I DO NOT WANT an apology from you as I WOULD NOT forgive you. I especially won't forgive you after you attempted to suibaited me to attempt to guilt me into forgiving you. The timing of that post being MINUTES after I told you explicitly to leave me alone for like the 5th time and that I just calmed down from a panic attack makes me come to that conclusion that was what you were actively doing.

I could genuinely be misinterpreting but this is still how that came off.

I am schizophrenic, I'm public about this fact, you knew this fact. For those who don't know, Schizo is not just seeing things. Its a disorder that severe paranoia, delusions, etc. Stress induced episodes are possible.

Your actions already triggered my paranoia really badly. Especially after the suibaiting, Suicide is already a massive trigger for me.

I genuinely cannot believe some of you are supporting a person who actively already harassed one person and spread a blatant lie about them, that posting fetish content knowing it will be seen as such, but also actively was triggering a person's mental disorder ignoring the person's pleads to be left alone.

Also DO NOT blame Haz for me finding your kink account for fucks sake. Haz was not why or how I found it, I found it because YOU reblogged it onto your OWN MAIN BLOG. Stop blaming Haz for literally everything. Quit acting like you're some victim in this situation. And get my god damn name out of your mouth. I'm not speaking about this any further and will go back to regularly posting after this. I only made this because this seriously needs to be addressed and y'all need to quit condoning this behavior especially since I know at least some of you are my same age or close to it. Deer Ragdoll you are not exempt either which is why this is being posted on twitter too, I know you're still on your accounts just because you deleted your tumblr doesn't mean I don't know you have a Twitter and can't see that you're still retweeting things. You both need to be held accountable for this genuinely disgusting behavior.

[alexdreamart]

So I have a story for you all. 

This is an art piece that I have done a while back and posted around tumblr under a different account (MythologicalSky). For some reasons I felt ashamed of sharing it anywhere on my main art accounts. I think only one friend of mine knew I made those art pieces as I shared progress with them  (you know who you are!). I am still not quite sure if I felt like I shouldn't or if I didn’t want to post it as AlexDreamArt. I still can’t quite identify why and I’m slightly anxious at the concept. Maybe because of the cultural background of the country I live in or that or the general concept of fan shipping fictional characters being something wrong (which I don’t believe it is!).

Either way I created a completely new account and I drew stuff just for myself without fear of how it will be received by others. At first it felt really satisfying. I did art because I liked it (I still love doing art but often I am self conscious of what I post) and shared it without any worries. In time it still didn’t feel quite right to post it elsewhere as if I was not okay with what I created, even though I felt proud of how I painted then. So at the end of the day I deleted that alternative art account too. 

Some time passed since then and it was a huge lesson to me and something I need to work a lot on, slowly. To stop thinking how well or bad the art will do and just stay true to what I create and what I like. Even if it is just silly fanart, sketch or piece that has meaning only for me, regardless how others may view it. If they like it and enjoy it - that’s awesome but I should stay honest with my art first. I’m not there yet, it may take me a long time before I do. I took the first step and reposted this art on Twitter a while ago but took it down again. So here is yet another attempt at the second-first step I guess. 

Here are two art pieces and sketches that I’m (was) actually very proud of. Maybe for most that see this art it won’t mean much or they could even think it is cool art and scroll down. But for me it is important. The themes I tried to capture with them of forgiveness, pain, failure, trust… What you see in those pieces is up to you. 

I will never be able to satisfy everyone else with what I create so I may as well just do what I enjoy and find people that enjoy it alongside me. So for all total of three people that look at my blog, here is my story time, thank you for reading <3

[feral4daryl]

IMPORTANT!!!

people, we need to talk about something serious, please read this!

so, it has come to my attention that elo_bbh_fan on instagram has been posting the AI generated pics I made in the last few days. she's a big creator, with over 1690k followers and stealing from smaller creators like me.

I know this is controversial, and I am NOT one to take credit for something an AI did, so I'm really okay with people reposting or using my pics of Daryl for edits or stuff like that. but this is something else, this person is claiming to have spent HOURS editing those pictures when I made them in SECONDS just by writing a prompt.

this is REALLY ridiculous. and when i commented on their post on ig, they simply blocked me. they even put a watermark on an AI GENERATED picture, I mean, how desperate for attention do you gotta be to do something like that??

they even said I stole them from their Facebook post (I'm not even on Facebook??)

i can prove I'm the one who made those pics. you can just look on my blog, you'll see I posted them along with many others, I've posted 30 until this moment.

here are the comments they deleted on ig (I'm butterflyboomx):

this is their account, please report their profile and their posts:

as you can see here they blocked me and deleted my comments and the ones calling them out (I created a new account from a different device so I could have access to their posts again):

these are the posts, they posted it on their stories and on their feed, they're getting hundreds of likes:

also, here's a screenshot of my other AI generated pics of Daryl that I made using bing!!! you can see the ones they posted claiming as theirs. I have many of those cuz I didn't even post em all:

this is really serious matter. when I first started creating those pictures, I didn't intend to create any drama at all and I meant no harm, I really just wanted to have fun and share it with everybody else. so it really saddens me this person is claiming rights over something an AI did. it's such a shame and it's totally ridiculous. I might have to start adding a watermark to my pics, something I really didn't wanna do, but since it's being stolen then I really don't see I way out of this. if you read this to this point, thank you so much for listening to me! let's help create a better environment

[diabolikpersonals]

I am not certain yet that I want to call out specific blogs (last time I did that it got WEIRD) but it has been a while since we've had a discussion about reposting art as a fandom, and someone asked me to comment :')

I've been in the fandom long enough to see art reposting cause plenty of problems, and I've also been a victim of it myself, so I hope I can help someone understand.

So, fanartists, right? You might not be aware if you're not an artist yourself, but a lot of artists dislike it when you take their work and post it somewhere else. Plenty will have something like "DO NOT REPOST" written right there on their page. Even if they don't, that does not mean that they allow reposts.

There are plenty of reasons why an artist might feel this way, but to name a few common reasons, it could be an issue of credit or publicity: imagine you put hours of work into a piece of art, but another account posts it and they're the one who gains interactions, followers, etc. Even if that account mentions you as the artist, people aren't necessarily going to seek out the original artist. They're probably going to interact with the repost that's right in front of them. Can you imagine that feeling? Like, "Why is this person building a social media presence based on my work, and the work of other artists?" Interactions aside, it's really frustrating when you put a ton of effort into something and you're not recognized for it.

To name another reason, an artist might only want their work to be published in one particular place. This is often the case for me too, actually; I only want my dialovers fanart on tumblr, and I never post it on my twitter account, because I don't want it there. Another medium but still relevant: I don't want my youtube videos exported to other sites because if a lot of people view those reposts, I lose money that I would've gotten if they had just watched my video. Maybe there's a certain type of user that you don't want your work to be exposed to, or maybe you just don't like a site and you don't want your work there. This is something an artist should be able to decide for themself, and it's not right for you to put their art in places they didn't consent to putting it.

It's a case-by-case basis, of course, because different artists have different feelings about it, but generally, you need to obtain permission from an artist before taking their work and publishing it yourself. You can just ask! It's totally normal to ask. Worst they can say is no. Plenty of artists do allow reposts, and if they say that they allow reposts, then go for it!! But if they don't have "reposting is ok" written anywhere, and if you didn't ask permission......then that's not okay. You need to respect artists a little more than that.

Because you know what artists do when they don't feel respected? When their boundaries are crossed, and people post their work without permission?? A lot of times, they delete their stuff, they move their work someplace else to try and evade reposters, and sometimes they stop drawing for a fandom altogether. If you've been in the dialovers fandom for a long time, this has absolutely happened multiple times, whether or not you were aware of it. If you know which repost acc we're discussing here, you might've seen some of their posts say something like "artist is no longer active." And it blows my mind, because I was there when they became inactive, and more than one of them because inactive because people reposted their art! So, besides being disrespectful, it also leads to less dialovers fanart.

But anyway, most of you reading this probably don't repost art, so the more useful thing I can tell you is that I hope you can support artists by interacting with them rather than repost accounts. If you see a repost acc and like the art you see, and if you want to see more of it, seek out the artist's original account instead.

unfollow art repost accounts. seek out and follow artists instead. they are out there. they are awesome. change da world… my final message. Goodb ye.

[project-sekai-facts]

hi! im the person the reposted some of your facts, and i really want to apologize for doing it, i didnt thought of asking about your permission since i didnt saw anything about asking permission when reposting your stuff ( or im just dumb and didnt read it properly ). i deleted the tweet by once i saw your post! i deeply apologize for doing it and i will ask permission to repost your stuff again <(＿　＿)>

it's okay anon i'm not mad ^^. i should've put something like that in my bio to begin with I kinda forget this is a lowkey big account now. feel free to ask in future though, most things i'm fine with i'm just not that comfortable with a lot of my longer posts/analysis being reposted!

[ikimaru]

Ok so I have something to confess... I reposted your art and tagged you on my insta (but I thought it was ok, I didn't see the don't repost thing) but now I saw your latest post and now I feel really bad... Im going to delete all the posts that had your art. Again im so sorry I didn't know...

hi, it's fine, ik ppl repost my art all the time, I mean I don't like reposts in general but I usually leave it to people's discretion if they want to repost on insta or not

it's mostly about the comics, esp the multi part ones that I don't like being reposted, and ur probably a different case from that person because they were specifically reposting my entire gallery and looking like an impersonator while at it, despite crediting some ppl thought they were me from the sheer amount of reposts of /my stuff/ specifically

I mean if you're gonna repost people's stuff repost everyone equally, don't just rip off a single person's entire gallery to build """your own""" audience you know? (this isn't aimed at u, it's just in general) because that account looked like something that could have just been handed over to me since 99% stuff on it was mine already lmao

[insertcurrentintresthere]

So I accidentally deleted my account so I’m reposting this :)

Why Mischa Bachinnski is such a tragic character

He has nothing to be brought back to life for

I was thinking about how Mischa didn’t even want to be in the choir in the first place. He just had to be there as a punishment. He ended up dying because he stole some wine for his cousin, as a gift. (One of) The songs mischa sings is all about how he wants to be brought back to like for talia. And talia, most likely, doesn’t actually exist. Even if she does, it’ll probably take a really long time before Mischa actually has enough money to go visit her. Mischa’s life also seemed like it sucked in general, he was neglected by his adoptive parents, had to leave his home and mother that he loved And most likely didn’t enjoy school. If you think about it, Mischa basically has nothing, at this point, to want to be brought back for. His afterlife is already much happier than his actual life because he has this group of friends, the choir, that act as his family.

He was poor before he came to Canada

The first solo song Mischa performs called “this song is awesome” is a rap about how great his life is and that he's a baller ect, ect. The thing is, everything he raps about are just normal things for a middle class family to have.

For example: “THE PLAYSTATION'S UP ON MY 60-INCH SCREEN”

A 60” screen is a pretty average size for a tv

“SPARKLING ALL OVER MY STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES”

In this day in age, many people own Stainless steel appliances

“CRUISE INTO THE LOT OF THE HARD ROCK CAFE”

The Hard Rock Cafe definitely isn’t usually a place for rich people or fit Mischa’s new-money rapper vibe.

“I'M ROLLING IN MY CIVVIE” (civvie being a Honda Civic)

Honda civics are not very expensive cars.

Mischa talks about all this stuff like it’s bougie and expensive, when in reality, they’re just normal things that most people own. When he was living in the Ukraine, Mischa’s family probably didn’t have much money, considering his whole family was just him and his mother, and his mom was a custodian, a job that doesn’t often make much money. When Mischa moved to Canada, he saw all this stuff that he never had at home before and assumed it was really nice stuff.

His home life

When Mischa was about 16 (assumedly) he had to be sent to Canada because his mother was dying. He was already going through a lot because of this, and the fact that he probably had no way of contacting his mother. So he doesn't even know if she's currently dead or not. When he arrived at his new home, his new parents forced him into the basement, not to come out unless his mother would start sobbing. Of course, his parents might be going through some problems of their own, but they treat Mischa like he’s some sort of monster, like he's the source of all of their problems. Mischa states before performing “this song is awesome” that he was saving up to move back to ukraine. Now, I can only assume that Misha's parents don't give him any money. Evident by the fact that, as karnak says “whenever his mother saw him, she would weep” and that he had to steal communion wine, instead of buying it, for his cousin.

How he’s changed since moving

Now, you might be thinking “you don't know what mischa was like before he moved” but on the contrary, there is some evidence towards it. Because Mischa was so mistreated by his parents, Mischa gets so flooded with anger and disdain for the world. Even though mischa does say that the only feelings ukrainian men have are “rage and passion” my first thought after rewatching mischas intro was, he wasn't always like this. Karnak clearly states that he becomes known as the angriest boy in town after he turns to “self aggrandizing hip-hop”. Throughout the show, mostly in Talia, we can see Mischa start to act a little more passionately and less angry. For example, before he performs Talia, he has a monologue about his fiance, in one part of said monologue he says “let rivers run wild, or let them be damned”. Mischa is a poet, in the right scenario, he is. Mischa is so passionate about Talia, that even without exact proof that she actually exists, he is willing to save up all his money to go be with her.

Sorry for the big blocks of text, this is incredibly ranty

[pandoraslxna]

I'm so sad and angry that ppl are reposting stuff on Wattpad. My heart goes out to you!

I used to have an account there yrs ago and wonder if i should revive it and post my stuff there bc now I'm afraid to even look to see if my stuff has been reposted. Honestly I kinda don't wanna know bc it might upset me too much. 😭

Thank you pookie, I hope nobody has done the same with your works!! 🥺

It’s actually insane how many stolen / reposted works I’ve found since yesterday… This app is literal hell

Last time I’ve been active on wattpad was when I was like 12 or 13 and I was hoping I’d never had to use it again, because it still feels like it’s full of minors (especially after reading through some of the comments…), people steal art for their covers and repost other peoples works and all that, its crazy. I really don’t want to post my works there, it’s enough that I had to make myself an account just to dm these people that have been reposting my fics and I’ll probably delete it again as soon as things have been sorted out 😫

[unrealblacklightvirus]

Oh my phrasing was quite bad there, as it's mostly digging through old fics and stumbling across lost stuff. more halfassed fandom archaeology than comprehensive archive scrolling.

Basically i stumbled across the largely defunct prototype kinkmeme on livejournal, and saw someone mentioning a deleted fic by saeto15.

(I always forget abt kinkmemes when reading stuff from older fandoms, esp smaller ones since those can be quite limited in stuff uploaded to newer sites like ao3. though I wasnt really around during the livejournal days so... surprising amount of gen and joke fics on there honestly, a real timecapsule of early 2010s fandom humor)

later stumbled across the more general (though smaller) fic community on there, and noticed his account was a moderator... and also completely nuked (side note, but theres other fics on there as well that cant be accessed due to the OPs locking their posts to friends only, and i desperately want to knock on their door for access bc my curiosity knows no bounds)

did some general namesearching and noticed he's still around, presently hanging out mostly in the zelda and vulture culture communities lately.

managed to get into contact with him through his tumblr, asking if hes concidered reposting his old and deleted fics to ao3, and he is! they're just trapped on an old busted up harddrive, so he has to get that checked out to see if anything can be recovered from it.

in the meantime i'd been doing some more digging, having the common sense to just put prototype after his username this time, and noticed 2 things. 1: from what ive gathered he was pretty prolific for early 2010s prototype fandom, between moderating the fic community on LJ, mentions of his name popping up on the kinkmeme, and even seeing his name popup on the gamefaqs forums.

but more importantly for where this story is going is 2: an article on fanlore mentioning a prototype fanwork forum he helped start called Viral Mutants Anonymous.

another one two with this one,

1: since the forum started on fanfiction, i now had a direct link to his old FF account. turns out the reason i couldnt find it was bc it just doesn't have the 15 at the end, it's just Saeto. it's got some fics and favourites on it, including that one fic someone back on the kinkmeme was looking for, hidden away at the second chapter of a drabble collection (the fic in question is Touch. its gen and honestly really good and makes me feel emotions) i mentioned this to saeto, as it meant at least some things were confirmed to be saved even if the harddrive recovery went up in flames. though he did confirm my suspicion that not all the prototype fics he wrote were posted to FF. and most likely, the place they WERE uploaded to was...

2: the forum. theres 3 links for this thing on fanlore: the original FF forum which is still up, a shortlived one on createforum that was quickly abandoned due to site instability, and a phpbb forum, which was known to be up as late as may 2019, but has since died for reasons im unsure of.

the createforum version only has 2 archives on the wayback machine that i can access, which genuinely show nothing but how many people were online at the time

the phpbb link has more stuff archived, havent clicked around too much yet, but i do know the fic and art threads have sadly never been archived, and all ive got to work off of so far is some topic titles and forum layout, though i do want to do more digging.

and that leaves us where we are right now. i do have some more things i want to dig into. one is the forum on fanfiction, as i havent really dug around that too thoroughly. as well as scouring for more archived pages on the phpbb forum.

theres also the 4chan thread mentioned on the intro to the kinkmeme, which seems to be its precursor. hesitant as i am to touch 4chan with anything more than a 10ft pole, and honestly not even knowing where to start since im wholly unfamiliar with the site structure as a result, im curious as to what got uploaded there, as it HAD to be 2009 ish given the date the kinkmeme started, making it early early days.

along with that i still want to message some users from the livejournal prototype fic board to politely ask to see their old stuff. i've started digging through the internet archive and am concidering touching 4chan in my quest for knowledge at this point, so i might as well gather up the courage to message people at this point.

but yeah, thats what my dig has amounted to. an early 2010s fandom rabbithole of deleted fics and art that i stumbled across entirely bc i got bored and felt like perusing to early 2010s hornyposting for shits and giggles like a weird tourist

probably not what you were hoping for, but at least my slow descent into madness mightve been somewhat entertaining

(side note, apologies for my wildly inconsistent punctuation, i am simply vomiting words into your askbox here)

holy shit anon this is incredible. i am far too afraid to contact anyone even if that means I lose out on reading old fics 😭😭😭 but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! I dont get much activity on here anymore so this was a welcome sight

[puyoginge]

What's been going on with me.

3 years later I’ve decided to resurrect my Tumblr because it is my sanctuary and the social media ever. I disbanded twitter because it makes me angry all the time and for the sake of preserving my dwindling adult sanity. lol.

You may remember me from my few posts under the username yaboinate28. very 2018 lol. I posted a lot of trans / general mental health relatable stuff to manage my struggle with gender dysphoria and hopefully connect with others who felt the same as me. If you want to get a taste of what's been going on since then then please do read on below!! (TW mental health stuff)

WHY I LEFT

Some time in 2020 I purged all my trans posts, removing all my incentive to return to this new decade apocalypse of a site. I guess was feeling really insecure about the discordance between my Tumblr open-transness (??) and my irl extreme stealth thang. I was chronically worried about people from my real life finding my account basically. 

Much of my stuff was very Tumblr cringe and probably stuff you’ve seen before but there were a couple of self help posts that were actually insanely good resources for coping with gender dysphoria (particularly in the early stages of social transition) which I seriously regret deleting. I remember a lot of my memes “blowing up” which made me feel really special and like I could contribute something to the world. As a young teenager struggling with self harm and severe depression as well as navigating my life within a home that outright rejected my trans identity, my Tumblr was my lifeline, the people I met made me feel hopeful for the future, and seeing people reblog with “I needed to hear this” or “thanks so much for posting” meant everything to me.

But its important for me to address that I’m not the person I was back then, !!and whilst I'll be attempting to find and repost some of those self help resources!!, I probably won’t be posting about my trans experience much anymore other than within this entry. But please please reach out if you need someone who’s been through it to talk to. I’d love to support you however i can!! I’m only a message away. 

LIFE STUFF

Since 2019 my attitude on life has changed a lot and whilst coping with my mental health issues are still a daily hurdle, I’ve found myself a groove in which to sit and ride the wave. Essentially I’m managing and I’m happy and able to maintain a positive outlook on life, which is good. Additionally, with time my family have softened to my trans identity. Its not perfect, but I’m not at risk. I love my family and I don’t blame them for their actions, I’m just taking it slow. 

Passed my GCSES with flying colours, passed my A-levels with regular colours, and I'm going to uni. Life has continued and its good. And whilst I would rather eat my own shit than go back and relive the days when my mum had to force me me out the door to get me to go to school, I made it through every last day. That's fucking badass, and tbh I'm pretty resilient now because of it lol.

I guess my point is (crass warning) see the joy in what you have. Take life day by day. Don’t let yourself take the easy route, because then you’ll learn how fucking strong you are. And you are stronger than you think even if all your cards are stacked against you.

TRANSITION STUFF

Since the last time we spoke I’ve legally transitioned, and am (at the time of writing) dealing with the initial admin of medical transition. I’ve been speaking regularly with a gender specialist therapist for 2 years. more recently I’ve been exploring my gender expression with my new found freedom. AND I’m in a relationship with someone who is beautiful and kind and couldn’t be more supportive of me (I adore them). And.... I’m still as stealth as ever. Just as resistant to say “yAYYyy i’m trAns!!!” as I’ve always been. I fucking love it. Some things never change lol. As I said family are being dragged by the tail along with me and have warmed to the whole thing. Support is not the word, but acceptance is pretty apt. They both realise it’s always been “me” at this point and that's enough for the time being.

WHO I AM NOW

I’m now an adult (wtf so surreal????) I have allowed my passion for retro gaming to flourish, recently got super fucking into rhythm games, developed a healthy collection of games and consoles which I may post about perhaps. Resurrected my love for anime, particularly dumb slice of life shows and Madoka Magica (all hail you beautiful broken masterpiece of infinite spinoff potential)

I found my interest in psychology (wowwww surprise!!) Got a job, found some friends, told some people a long overdue fuck off. And rounded myself into a much more open minded person than I used to be.

I couldn’t care less how many people read this, mainly I’m doing it for me. To provide myself a clean slate and stuff. But if you do read this, and you used to enjoy my silly little posts or find them helpful or whatever: I hope you’re well, I’m glad you stuck around and I hope you stay :)

[springfallendeer]

hi! wanted to know if your old creepypasta writings are forever gone or if you’ve archived them somewhere? They used to be my favorite and I often think about it and I’d like to reread them but I also understand if it’s something you just want to move on from. Just figured I’d ask. Hope you’re doing well.

Anything that was on Fanfiction is gone. I deleted them and did not archive them, as I wanted to move on from the content.

I have not gone through and deleted off of Tumblr (mostly because I'm lazy but also because I just don't get a lot of traction here) and they realistically might be somewhere in my private story storage account.

But you could try to use something like the Wayback Machine to find what you're looking for. There's a reason people say that things on the Internet are forever, because tools like this exist to help you find things that have since been removed from public eye.

I don't really know how to use it myself. But throw in my fanfiction address or an old link (or check a tutorial to make sure you use it right) and you should be able to find what is otherwise deleted. I just ask that you don't go reposting that stuff anywhere.

[inactiveblog261838]

hi guys!

this will be the last post i make on this account, so i'm going to pin it once it's posted. it's mostly just kind of me rambling, so feel free to skip to the last paragraph if you're interested in following me on my new account. it will be linked at the end :3

honestly, i feel conflicted as i write this, but i think it's necessary. i have had this blog since i was in highschool. i've posted my writing here for at least 6 years!! over those years, i've gained what i consider to be a pretty big following– more than i've had on any other social media, at least, lol. anyways, i've been writing fanfiction since i was a kid, and for years i was embarrassed by it. i didn't think anything i wrote was worthy of being read, and i didn't think that anyone would like my writing. thanks to this website, i was proved to be very wrong. i've garnered over 5k notes on a fic that i wrote when i was 17– that's so many people!! even now, it's mindblowing to me how many people not only read the things i write, but actually enjoy them. i have received so much love and praise over the years, and i am eternally grateful to every single person who's ever liked, reblogged, or complimented my writing.

as i've had this blog for so long, my interests and my values have changed quite a bit since i was 16. when i first started gaining traction here, i didn't really think too hard about the nuances of being a creator. all i cared about was people liking the things i worked so hard on. it didn't matter who they were, as long as they liked me. over the last few years, i've become less and less active here as i've spent time navigating adulthood, as well as getting into new sources and trying to separate myself from certain older sources that i once wrote for. this blog has been with me through so many different phases of my life, and leaving it behind feels a bit disheartening, but i have taken a lot of time to think about who i am, who i post for, what i want to write about and what i want out of this hobby of mine– and so, i've come to the decision to start anew.

i will not be deleting this blog for several reasons. number one being my own nostalgic purposes. i would like to someday be able to look back and see how i've grown as a writer. i've poured a lot of effort, blood, sweat and tears into everything i've posted here. even the stuff that makes me cringe now. also, my fics still get a pretty surprising amount of attention, even the old ones, and though i'm not happy with some of them now that i look back on it, i can see that others enjoy them, and i don't want them to be lost forever (because i for one do NOT keep track of all the documents on my phone, so there's no option to repost them, lmao).

anyways, i'm saying all this to say THANK YOU to every single individual who has spent time reading my work, every person who's supported me, and every follower. i am endlessly grateful to you all for giving me the courage to keep posting my writing and sharing my thoughts with the world.

moving forward, you can find me at the blog linked below. it simply would take too much time to cleanse this blog of people and fandoms i don't want to further associate with, and honestly, a fresh start sounds rejuvenating. i hope everyone has a happy holiday season, and that the new year will bring you everything you could ask for. thanks for your support.

❤️

[actiniumwrites]

BLOG RULES/ DNI

these rules are in place for both the safety and comfort of me and my followers. if you choose not to follow any of these rules, know that you will likely be blocked.

DO NOT INTERACT:

standard dni rules, pro shipper, ship kaeluc, are only here to hate, etc.

adding onto the previous one since some people get confused, by my definition: a proshipper is someone who ships anything and everything regardless of if it is legal or not. if you fit this definition or have any ships that fit this definition, do not interact with me.

while i cannot control the ages of the people who interact with me, i would prefer it if those under the age of 15 or over the age of 25 do not interact with me (you can read my stuff, just don’t send asks/ dms)

main rules:

I DON’T TAKE REQUESTS. starting november 12th, 2022, i will no longer be taking requests. any requests i receive will be deleted currently not in effect!

don’t spam like. not only is there the possibility of being shadowbanned, but it also clogs up my notifications and can be really annoying. i personally consider spam liking to be around 5+ posts

there will always be content warnings on each and every one of my works. whether it’s just fluff or mentions of something potentially triggering, i’ll always have it in the content warnings (just labeled ‘warnings’). if i ever miss something, don’t hesitate to send me an ask and i’ll fix it

do not trauma dump or dm me with your trauma

do not steal my writing, repost it onto other platforms, or translate it.

lastly, don’t ask to be mutuals. i’ll pretty much only be mutuals with people i’m already following or follow as i discover new accounts i like. but even so, i’m not interested in getting close with people on this app because i’m not comfortable with it. liking posts and interacting with one another is fine, but dms and getting personal is a no for me. i don’t mind being tagged!

if you’ve been blocked by me, i don’t mind answering why. just shoot me an ask off anon and i’ll let you know (privately of course). however, most likely, you made me uncomfortable

my ask box rules:

i usually answer any asks

brainrots, random questions, jokes, etc. are welcome!! i love interacting with people, as long as it isn’t super personal or negative !

don’t send requests if i say they’re closed

hate will not be tolerated

as i said previously, don’t trauma dump or send me personal stuff

i’m always open to answering any questions as long as they’re respectful

please don’t discuss ships with me. i’m not a person that’s big on ships and i only have a few characters i actually ship in the game — which is pretty much just eimiko, beigguang, and eulamber

things i don’t write:

these are a list of characters i write for. i don’t write for anybody not on that list. however, it does get edited as new characters get released or i change my mind, but other than that it doesn’t change much.

nsfw/ suggestive/ smut/ yandere/ sagau/isekai/ mafia au/ idol au

character x character or character x oc

i’ll never write in third or first person. my works will always be in second person.

anything that demonizes a character (examples include: making a character racist, homophobic, a sexual assaulter, any form of abusive, etc). i have indeed come across fics like that and i do not think that is okay in any way, shape, or form.

personalized reader (in other words: no specific race, gender, or personal looks so that this stays blank for anyone to read). all of my works will always be gender neutral readers.

triggering topics such as suicide, self harm, eating disorders, sexual assault, pregnancy, etc.

specific mental disorders or other medical issues. i don't want to accidentally mess up on portraying a specific disorder so i'm just not comfortable writing them. i am okay with things like anxiety though

[chacusha]

Hi all, just a note that (despite posting a lot today) I am actually going to step away from Tumblr for a bit. I have been considering this for a while because I've been noticing that browsing Tumblr has been stressing me out lately and I have a kind of unhealthy relationship to it. I will probably continue to crosspost things I make/write here (especially art, since my Tumblr art blog is probably the most comprehensive, organized, and easy to browse/search archive of my fanart), but I'm going to experiment with blocking the site 24/7 as a normal state of being and deleting the app from my phone. I won't be monitoring my dash, basically. If you want to contact me, the best place is Dreamwidth (or you can check out other options in this surprisingly-still-not-outdated "where to find me" post from 2018). More thoughts on why both using Tumblr and not using Tumblr is very hard for me under the cut.

One thing I will say: the reason why it is always hard for me to leave Tumblr fully (despite how much I complain about it!) is that it is such a good platform for finding and sharing content. Just the number of interesting people producing amazing stuff (and only putting it on Tumblr!) is just so wild. The whole site is so easily searchable. It's so easy to find and follow great accounts.

Part of what makes the content on Tumblr so great is the flexibility of the post creator: it has the ability to easily share large filesize visual media (gifs and video) while also allowing the free interleaving of text, images, headings, links, videos, etc. (i.e. truly multimedia posts). It also has a long upper limit on text posts, including cut functionality... All of this makes Tumblr extremely flexible in terms of what exactly can be posted and shared on the website. It works well for both short-form and long-form content. It is just a very powerful website. (I... really do not know how people, especially artists, use sites like Twitter. I would go insane at the terrible image cropping that forces people to click in order to view your actual art piece and the complete lack of tools for searching/filtering/gallery view.)

What that means is that you can encounter some of the weirdest, most creative stuff on this site. All sorts of people -- artists, writers, musicians, knitters, programmers, cosplayers, conlangers, whatever -- can make this place their home and that is truly a delight. You just never know what you'll get.

Also, Tumblr's usability has been steadily improving over time. For example, one of the things that used to be the case that really held Tumblr back from being a good platform for sharing content was that it would exclude posts with links from tag searches. This made it really hard to have fannish discussions where you're referencing a post or an interview or a fic or something that you want people to look at before reading your discussion, or you're making some points and you want to support them with actual references, or you just want to link to a creator's site rather than reposting their content on Tumblr (which is a dickish thing to do without permission). It used to be the case that trying to be helpful and responsible by providing external links like this would punish your content and hide it from people who would be interested in seeing it. Since Tumblr lifted this softban on external links, though, the site has really jumped up in usefulness for me, especially since my main form of fannish engagement (as you might have noticed) is meta, which heavily benefits from leaving people breadcrumbs to other material which they can follow up on as they choose.

That said, there are two ways in which Tumblr has not and likely will continue to not work well with me:

First, the lack of circles/privacy settings (on an individual post level, especially, but I mean, Tumblr doesn't even have that at a user level...). For various reasons, I do not like to talk about anything in public that could easily be found by someone who knows me in real life and is identifying enough for them to be like, "Ah I see, chacusha is [person I know] then." So there's a lot about me that I'm willing to frankly talk about under the privacy of friendslock (e.g. on Dreamwidth) but will never ever post on Tumblr. This includes: pictures/videos of me, my job (where I work and what my line of work is), my family, friends, or partner (outside of the barest references), art I've done that I share with people under my real name, my thoughts on places I've lived, detailed personal anecdotes that involve other people, etc. Not related to being recognized, but I also at some point decided I wanted my Tumblr to be my dedicated fannish engagement space, and so I just don't post/reblog political content or even contentious opinions on the Fandom Discourse (since I know that if I started opining on this, I would not Stop and it would utterly swamp my normal positive fannish content). This doesn't mean I am an apolitical person or that I don't have strong opinions on the Fandom Discourse. I just don't really have an outlet for that on Tumblr. Anyway, for various reasons, there's just a lot of stuff I don't feel comfortable talking about on Tumblr and I feel like this makes it hard to make friends on this site because I'm just this big mystery box and I want to keep it that way.

Second, Tumblr, like most social media sites, does tend to be geared toward (1) the "short attention span" infinite-scroll form of media consumption (easy to pick up and set down, easy to kill time in small breaks) and (2) largely amusing viral content (jokes, shitposts, cute animal videos, memes, content reposted from Twitter, Tiktok, etc.) that is now the default form of almost all social media. I find this as entertaining and amusing as everyone else, but sometimes I get tired of it or cranky or just feel out of step with what people consider funny. Like, for the first thing ("tired of it"), if you know me, I tend to post very tl;dr quite serious, almost academic, analyses of things. These things get very little engagement on Tumblr which is fine because I too also struggle with reading long-form content in general and also especially on this site when I'm mainly browsing things in infinite scroll mode. Just... no one's got time for that! I post it mainly to organize my thoughts and share them with people who might be interested (if my thoughts were so simple I could dash them off in an off-the-cuff bite-sized post, it would be of no use to me to write a post sharing them, to be honest), so I don't mind that. But I do find that when the ratio between "interesting thoughtful content" and "lol shitpost that went viral"/"off-the-cuff lapslock keysmash yelling about fictional characters to vaguely convey enthusiasm" is too low, I just don't actually have fun on a site and I am trying to be more self-aware about when that is happening.

Regarding the third thing ("out of step"), I've had this problem with Star Trek fandom in particular where you'll see posts that just, like, make stuff up about the show. They'll have a very exaggerated account of something that happened in an episode, or some misleadingly-juxtaposed screencaps that remove context and say "this literally happened." I understand exaggeration for comedic effect, and also possibly I am just missing tone on the internet where "literally" means the opposite of "literally" etc. IDK, maybe I am just being cranky and dense, to be honest. But yeah, Star Trek is a deeply silly show. You don't really have to make things up for things to be ridiculous or outlandish?

But yeah, for obvious reasons, bite-sized shitposts and frequent funny posting tends to not only go more viral but also get people more followers and reach. This is something I've noticed over the years, which is that the #1 thing that contributes to popularity on the internet is just consistent prolificness. This is a very bad fit for how I like to engage with fandom. Honestly, a lot of my negative emotional reaction is 100% on me where I am getting demoralized by how popular shitposting is, but the internet isn't some kind of popularity contest? That super-viral content over there doesn't have any bearing on what people think of the content I'm posting over here? Popularity, following, and engagement isn't actually a marker of social approval?? And yet my brain is like "mm yeah I'm apparently Doing It Wrong / people secretly hate me / maybe if I shitposted more I would Fit In" which is not a healthy way to feel about social interactions on a website! I hate all of this!

Anyway, the takeaway is, while I love the content I stumble across on Tumblr, I don't think browsing Tumblr actually makes me happy overall. I also don't think I can make friends here even though everyone here seems like a cool person with a cool life. And I think both of these things will continue to be the case as long as Tumblr does not have the concept of a friendslock and as long as Tumblr's audience is mainly browsing content for amusing easily-consumed stuff (or I somehow manage to retrain my brain to Not Care about the popularity dynamics that naturally follow from that fact). The combination of not being able to share personal things about myself plus interpreting innocuous things as social rejection has made the whole experience of being on Tumblr quite socially isolating, despite people being personally very nice and kind to me -- through no one's fault but my own, really. Unfortunately, socially isolating social media is something I actually can't handle right now, coming out of a long lockdown where I'm already struggling with the effects of long-term social isolation.

I think if I come back to Tumblr, I will need to learn how to curate my feed better and possibly block some accounts? So far, I've only ever had to block a few tags, so I honestly do not know how to block people or what happens when you do this and how I should decide when to do this -- any tips appreciated. (I think I have been very spoiled by being in extremely tiny fandoms up until this point, like, "Huh? You guys block people??" I am not adjusting well, lol.)

[vnusoki]

꒰ RULES ꒱

━ i will not tolerate any hate, racist comments, homophobic comments, ableist comments, sexist comments. dont try play it off as a joke. do not copy my work, or repost it anywhere other than tumblr. don’t hate on my moots or do anything that breaks normal respect. learn to not overstep peoples boundaries. don’t go in my asks and ask personal questions. you’ll be deleted on sight.

─ i write both nsfw and sfw, I will not be dark content friendly. , just because i don’t like it. The dark content I’m talking about includes things such as incest, non-con, rape and minors x adults etc. it’s disgusting. Don’t ask for things like that in requests, you’ll just be deleted on sight lol..

─ if you ship teacher x student, where the age gap is relatively large. or you ship an obvious minor with an adult in the show, get off my page ! Yes I’m talking about you yuji x gojo/ Megumi x gojo/ sukuna x yuji (???) fans. It’s weird.. it’s disgusting… go reflect on yourself.

─ i write for mha, genshin, jjk and many more. though my main one is jjk.

꒰ 𝐁𝐅𝐘 / 𝐁𝐘𝐈 ꒱

╴if you support the ongoing genocide in Gaza right now, get the fuck off my age rn. I don’t want to be interacting with a such human beings. Don’t ever say that the situation is too complex to speak about, it isn’t. The right side is clear infront of your eyes, you just choose to ignore it. i will repost stuff in awareness for Palestine. If you somehow feel uncomfortable with that, you should really take lessons on looking within yourself because something is definitely wrong.

─ do not interact with me if your over 27 and younger than 12. i don’t feel comfortable talking to you, to those younger than 12 do not interact with my more suggestive and nsfw works.

─ if you want to be moots all you have to do is ask. don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation in the asks.

─ request are always open but may take time to write since I’m fairly busy and have a life outside of this app. don’t rush me. you’ll just make me lose motivation to write for you.

╴this may sound rude as hell, but i say this with the utmost urgency, do not copy, or plagiarise my work. I will find out, and you will be held accountable. If you take inspiration, that’s fine, tag me in the post, but do not just copy it word for word and ignore me when your questioned on it.

─ have a great day and thank you for reading !

© VNUSOKI 24 do not copy my work, or repost it !!