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stars4chratt · 6 months

Text

Subconscious

Pairing: Matt x fem!reader

Warnings: Again, smut / use of drugs / confessing / cocky to sub!Matt / softdom!reader / high sex (i do not condone this in any way guys, just a fair warning) / praise / stoner!Matt / grinding / handjob / vanilla(ish) / mommy kink / pet names (sweetheart, princess, mommy, etc etc) / a trip (no pun) / aftercare / a lot of swearing

Summary: The reader and Matt have been the best of friends ever since they were eleven. As they got older, the more vulnerable they were to alcohol and drugs. Matt would always be by her side getting high and drunk at desolate and abandoned parks, or maybe even in Matt’s room. Matt and the reader agreed to only stick to natural stuff like weed. But now, they’re taking it up a notch by taking a round and earthy psychedelic.

Author’s Note: stoner Matt > as i’m writing this i have Matt’s recorded twitch streams playing in the back. MY BAD I KEEP ADDING THE SWEETHEART PET NAME WITH MATT I JS LOVE IT SM ESP AFTER THE BAGS TT. Anyways, this wasn’t requested or anything this is something i just really wanted to write because i love it when there's a best friend trope weaved in <3 HOPE YOU ENJOYYYY. From Maxine, with love ♡.

“Are we still friends? Can we be friends?” - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?, TYLER THE CREATOR

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

Matt has always had an obsession with spirituality and the 60s. From the posters of Jimi Hendrix on his walls, to the deluxe edition Beatles vinyl records that sit alongside the vintage record player on his hardwood dresser.

Ever since Matt’s dad bought a collection of thrifted CDs for his car when he was only a toddler, he fell in love with psychedelic rock and the whole new era of love and peace and tranquil that came around in the mid to late 20th century.

Whenever he isn’t in his cramped and maximalist abode smoking bubba kush, he’s out going to underground stores which sell abstract and kaleidoscopic clothes and fashion statements in general.

The vibrant colours and the political mindsets and the pure lack of fucks to give during the time period has Matt enamoured. Calling him a big fan would be putting it extremely lightly.

You and Matt first met in 6th grade of middle school. From what you can remember, you were sitting next to him.

He was laser focused on his assignment with big and obvious headphones clasped onto his head.

Bobbing his head slowly to the smooth and flowy melodies, you pat him on the shoulder.

He turns his head and immediately pulls the headphones to the side so one of his ears perks out.

“What music are you listenin’ to?” Matt instantly thinks you’re about to ridicule him. He, for some odd reason, has always been the victim of mockery. You never understood why, he’s such a cool and chilled out kid.

“O-oh…um…” Matt stutters nervously. He was truly unsure of what to say or do in this situation. You could feel the fight or flight trigger in his hard gaze.

“Gimme the headphones! I wanna listen.” Exclaiming with an odd sense of compassion. Matt furrows his eyebrows and looks at you funny but still gives you his headphones anyway.

You whiz the headphones around your ears and onto your head. The hallucinatory notes mixing with the light and staticky voices put you in a heavy but pleasing trance.

You feel a big smile wipe across your face clean as you look back at Matt staring at you impatiently. Silently telling you ‘give me my headphones back, you weirdo.’

“This is so cool! What’s the song called?” You speak enthusiastically, still with a big grin on your profile.

Matt’s eyes light up slightly at you. You can’t tell if it’s because he’s shocked at your interest in this type of thing or because he was alarmed by how bubbly and enthusiastic you are.

“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds… It’s by the Beatles.” He drawls out, now looking down at the floor and fidgeting with his fingers.

“Siiiiiick. Are there any more songs like this one?” You hand him back his headphones, you start to rock in your chair in anticipation and out of looking for something to do now that you don’t have the sensory fulfilment that is Matt’s music taste.

“Oh of course. They’re a band with a bunch of other songs and albums, kid.” Matt calling you kid after almost instantaneously sparking an acquaintance with you makes you giggle to yourself. What a funny nickname for someone you just met.

“Well, can you show me them? Pretty please?” You utter with an exaggerated pout on your lips as you flutter your eyelashes at him. You intertwine your hands and rest them at the side of your face to hyperbolise the sad puppy look, making Matt chuckle lightly.

“Fine…there are many other bands like them, y’know.”

“Show me those ones too!” Yelling down his ear with eagerness, he flinches at your noisiness and covers his ear you just bellowed in.

“Ugh.” He scoffs in annoyance, whilst you’re sitting across him with the biggest twinkle in your eye.

“Yay! Thank youuuuu.” Your genuine excitement makes his face flush into a deep maroon. He turns his head around in embarrassment, trying not to maintain eye contact.

“Yeah whatever, kid.”

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

NINE YEARS LATER

“Wanna try it?”

What Matt has in his hands is a vacuum sealed metallic bag. You could not make out what it is but you knew for sure it was some kind of drug.

“What the fuck is it? I thought we made an agreement that we weren’t gonna do chemical shit. Y’know how I feel about that.” You scrunch your nose in both confusion and disgust. Yet you were still curious as to what Matt was holding in his hand.

“Kid, have you never heard of magic mushrooms before? Jesus, for someone who smokes a fuck ton of wedding cake, you seem to have no clue what these boomers are.”

“I do know what a fucking magic mushroom is, Matt. I just didn’t want it to be a bag of heroin or some shit like that.” Your legs cross whilst you look at him through your eyelashes. You’re genuinely hesitant since you’ve never tried a mushroom before. Yeah, you smoked weed. But this is a whole different thing. This is a literal psychedelic.

“Heroin at mass is sold in baggies or balloons, stupid.” He chortles. “As I was saying, are you gonna try it with me or nah?” He chucks the small pouch at you.

There’s a small plastic window where you can see the muddy fungi inside. You cringe in distaste, you wonder to yourself where the fuck he got them from. Incredibly skittish, you want to back out. But curiosity and temptation is killing you at the same time.

“I don’t think I wanna try this Matt. It seems stupid.” You scoff. Matt smirks down at you and grabs the bag again.

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it, kid. It’s just mushrooms, you’re not gonna die.” He waves the sealed bag tantalisingly around your face.

“Fine, fine whatever.” You give him the bird and suck your teeth. He chuckles like a little child at your offensive remarks. He offers you the bag again.

“Ladies first.” He remarks cunningly.

You break open the packet and receive a heavy waft of dirt. You turn your head the other way immediately as a natural reaction. The strong scent makes your face almost turn inside out in repulsion.

“You’re so dramatic.” Matt smirks. You turn back at him with a mean glare.

“You sniff it, then. ‘Cuz you’re soooo tough.” You jitter mockingly right up in his face. Dragging your hand right under his nostrils for him to get a whiff. His eyebrows knit close together and screw his eyes shut.

“Who’s dramatic now? Hm?” Your teasing rhetoric strikes one of his nerves. He immediately plunges his hand in the bag and takes the squishy piece of matter.

“Hey hey, slow down. Let me get one out.” You yell out at him in shock at his lack of hesitancy. He rolls his eyes with impatience while your shivering hand places itself into the plastic bag to pick one out.

“Oh yeah, just so y’know, this could last up to 5 hours.” Matt states super casually. Your eyebrows raise as you look back up at him. You’re not all that surprised though. What were you expecting? It's not plain jane weed, it’s mushrooms.

“I don’t give a fuck anymore, let’s just get this over with.”

Soon after you said that, you both hastily gulped the abnormal saprophyte down. Both of your faces contort at the peculiar taste and texture.

“Eurgh… that was the worst.” You gag at the displeasure going down your throat and into your digestive system.

“Yeah, this is a one time thing for sure.” Matt affirms with a deep frown. He turns to his queen sized bed with silk sheets and plops down next to you.

“When will these hit?” You quiz him curiously. Tangling and playing with the strands of your hair out of a way to distract yourself from what you just did.

“It's the same principle as an edible, it’ll take a while to hit. So don’t take another one.” He mumbles inconspicuously since his face is half smushed into his soft mattress.

“Shall we smoke some weed while we wait?”

“No, dude. We’d literally die. Let’s not fuckin’ kill ourselves from severe psychosis tonight, yeah?”

You smile at his stupid banter. It’s what made Matt so appealing to you. His dry humour alongside his ridiculous behaviour when you’re both stoned as shit is like taking a breath of fresh air. Knowing each other for almost ten years and you two still never get tired of each other. Constantly hanging out, doing stupid and reckless shit ever since you two were tweens. True best friends.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

A while has passed, and the both of you are so far out of your heads. Every single time you turn to look at each other, the more distorted everything gets. You see things you don’t actually see, you hear things you don’t actually hear, you smell things you don’t actually smell. The tie dye-like swirls on Matt’s tapestries that hang proud on his walls disfigure and circle around putting you under a strict hypnosis.

“Holy shit…” Matt’s voice rattles through your cochleas, making your head sting from the blare. You move around to see him while your vision oversaturates and wiggles with no rhythm or control.

“W-what is going on…” The bare echoes of your voice tingles your senses. The soft scent of Matt’s white musk incense blazing in the background fills the crevices of your nostrils and massages your brain, it was the only thing soothing you from the extremity of the situation.

“Matt…I’m scared…What the fuck is going on.” Abruptly, the effects on your voice quickly transitions into a thick static. The sensory overload inflicts the both of you. You feel incredibly overwhelmed and almost spiral into a state of panic.

“I’m here, I promise.” Matt mutters under his breath. His clammy hands take a hold of your wrist firmly. You look up at him to see his pupils viciously dilated while finding it hard to breathe.

“I’m so scared.” You shudder. Pure anxiety soaks you up but is squeezed back out when Matt moves your head to rest on his shoulder. He tilts his head so it lays on top of yours.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise.” Your heartbeat pounds rapidly. You don’t say or do anything both because you’re way too high as well as wanting to savour this moment since you purely assume this will never happen ever again.

Why is Matt being so soft with you? Ever since you two first met, he’s never been the type to call you these names.

“From now on. Weed n’ fuckin’ weed only.” You demand in a serious manner. Matt sighs out a laugh while he strokes your hair in reassurance. “Of course… p-princess.”

You purse your lips as a way to try and hide the excitement from Matt calling you these sudden names. A million thoughts come racing through your mind all at once. You’ve gotten both high and drunk with Matt on several occasions. Are the mushrooms that strong?

Your vision is still eradicated and infused with neon reds and pinks. You want to close your eyes but when you’re in pitch black darkness, the patterns become more prominent and it freaks you out to an extreme.

You hear Matt whisper delicately which makes your ears perk up indefinitely. You twist your neck to look up at him for his gaze to meet yours. His mouth hangs slightly open with his pupils large and his eyebags hang low across his defined cheekbones.

“l-like…you..” He sputters out. He sounds like he has no more control left in the muscles of his face any more. Jesus christ, this shit is strong.

“...huh…” Rebound of the vowels smushed on your tongue and teeth is elevated by the effects of the drug. Both you and Matt are incredibly discombobulated. You raise yourself from underneath Matt’s figure for you to try your absolute best to attempt to understand what he just said.

Matt’s now looking up at you through the locks of hair that drape over his low and inflamed eyes.

“I really…really like you… like, ‘ver since… I-I got to know you better in 6th grade…I now have a decent excuse for why I’m telling you this... I’m fucking tripping balls.” He laughs it off as if he didn’t just confess his feelings to you off the rip right in front of you, face to face.

You just sit there gazing down at him bewildered with your mouth agape. He clenches his lips shut and frowns slightly, averting his gaze down to the bed in regret of just blurting that out.

“Matt…w-what the fuck…” Immediately after you utter this question, Matt slaps his hand over his mouth and starts to slightly curl himself up into a little ball like a shrivelled raisin.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I-I ruined the experience… I thought you felt the same way and I was thinking too quickly ahead of myself I-I’m really sorry-”

You pat both of Matt’s shoulders and force his head up to look at you.

“Matt, I-It’s okay… I promise you. I-I feel the same. I know we’re both high as fuck right now, but I know for sure t-that I’m telling the truth. I really like you, Matt.”

His body loosens underneath you in reaction to your words. Your thumb rubs softly over his defined cheekbones. The frown on his face turned upside down completely into a large smile.

Your big and swollen pupils squint down at him. His heavy breaths, his cherry pink lips resting lazily and hanging slightly open, and his frizzy and dishevelled hair that drapes gracefully over his droopy eyes.

Everything about him, the whole sight of him makes you soaked at your core.

Your thighs clench together in desperation and you grit down onto your bottom lip intensely. The flesh of your hand is still resting on Matt’s face. You can feel the pricklyness of his stubble on your very fingertips.

The two of you just stare at each other, admiring every little thing about one another. In a comfortable but loud silence. The effects of the drug are still sharp around the edge, jabbing and stabbing both of your 5 main senses.

You feel your body start to give in and fall forward into Matt. Your forehead clashes with his. Your large breaths blend together.

Abruptly, he tilts his head up. His lips just graze against yours. You can tell he’s desperate with his eyes full to the brim with lust and eroticism. You pull away lightly with a smirk on your face whilst Matt writhes and squirms. He tries to follow your head so he can make contact with your mouth. He really wants to kiss you.

Seeing him this vulnerable makes you melt. What once was a bad-mouthing, cocky and smug little shit who smoked with you every week was now gone. He’s now tripping on mushrooms underneath you with a throbbing semi.

You manoeuvre yourself over so both of your legs are spread on top of him. You’re in a cowgirl position, with Matt.

His prick pulses harshly beneath your heat. The only thing stopping the contact between the two of you are your clothes. Matt’s now fully hard, to the point where his dick has developed a tent in his harem pants.

You start to sway your hips back and forth. Matt’s head flips back fully and his mouth hangs open. His Adam's apple is fully revealed and bobs up and down marginally. His hefty breathing now transitioned into hot and rowdy moans and whimpers.

“Look at me baby, look at me while I grind on your cock.” You finally spoke, after there was nothing but whines and sobs filling the air.

“Y-yes mommy…” You sigh out a sharp laugh. Knowing your arrogant friend who’s always causing a riot with alcohol and dope is now rock hard thanks to you, moaning and whining into your ear like a little bitch fills you with an overwhelming sense of fulfilment.

“Yeah that’s right, be a good boy for me. Keep calling me mommy.” You feel as though you could do anything to him right this second. You had all of the power and control over Matt. Your teeth grit together and the smirk on your face largens.

“You make me feel so good, Mommy. Y-you’re gonna make me cum…” The words come spilling out of his mouth like calm waves of the ocean. What used to be the intense sound of his voice from the drugs now turned silky smooth from the euphoria spooling out from your sensitive nerves.

You stop rocking your hips on top of his cock. Matt looks up at you with his bottom lip concealed fully inside his mouth by his teeth.

“Take your pants off baby, lemme make you cum properly.” You command him pompously. Immediately, he speedily grasps at his waist band and tugs it down his thighs.

His cock bounces out of the loose fabric. The tip was swollen and pink with precum dripping out thickly. The rhythm of his breath matched with the harsh trembling of blood flow to his dick.

“Jesus Christ… and I barely did anything to you, not yet anyway.” You tease. Matt’s face jams up with impatience and knuckles his hands into his vibrant sheets.

“P-please just touch me. I really wanna cum mommy.” He pleads eagerly. His eyebrows furrowed deeply into his skin and his face splashed apricot pink. His whole body shivers. Anticipating heavily for your skin to press into his.

You reach out your hand and wrap it loosely around his large and thick cock. You slither down his shaft slowly in a jesting manner. You leer up at Matt to see him gaping down at you, panting stiffly.

Your pace on his dick starts to quicken. Your fingers clench tightly around him making him jolt up into your hand.

Matt loses all control within himself and starts to thrust up and down hastily. Practically fucking your hand. You push him down with your other palm and hold him into place. You shoot him a mean stare as he gulps down what was left of his pride.

“Don’t move.” The stern tone infused in your voice makes Matt quiver. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and pulls it up his face to conceal his severe embarrassment.

What’s happening right now tells you one thing that you never would’ve thought would be the case. Matt loves being controlled. He admires the idea of being dominated. And you are contributing to that fantasy.

The pad of your index and middle finger press onto his fleshy, rosy-red tip faintly. A choked up whine crawls out of his throat and his legs rise upwards but your weight stops them.

“M-mommy… please don't stop... I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it baby. Don’t be shy. Be a good boy for mommy and cum.” You start to go faster and more harsh on his sensitive tip. Matt’s entire body shakes and his hips buck and lock into place.

“Cumming mommy, c-cumming...”

His tip suddenly spurts out long thick strings of his load. Onto your face, your hand, your clothes, your chest, everywhere. Every single time a white rope would come spilling out of his prick, an intense shiver would shoot through his body and his shirt is now crumpled into its original place.

He gasps intimately while you sit there with his seed still dripping down your face.

Matt’s eyes suddenly widen and he raises his entire figure in a panic to grab the box of tissues on his bedside table.

“No no, don’t worry. I got it.” You disclose to him delicately. You tug out a few sheets of tissue and wipe at his skin from the waist below.

“I’m sorry for making such a mess… I didn’t think it would be that bad.” Matt utters sorrowfully. He pulls his pants back up and you grab more tissues.

He takes hold of your wrist to take the tissues from you. He places his thumb onto your chin to position you as he folds the tissues.

“It’s fine Matt, I enjoyed it. A lot, actually.” You grin compassionately as Matt swipes at your face with the tissues.

“I think that’s the first and last time we’re ever gonna do mushrooms, though.” He snickers, crumpling the dirty tissues and chucking them into the bin lying at the side of the bed.

“Yeah, one time thing.” You rest your head on his stomach, you rise and fall with his breathing.

"Can I braid your hair?" Matt casually inquires. "I have a bunch of charms and hair ties."

You beam a smile from ear to him, your face fills up with a cherry blossom pink.

"Yeah, of course Matt."

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

Author’s Note No.2: I think this will most definitely have a part 2. I have no complaints with making a series, if you haven’t already noticed with me always bringing up pins n’ needles. This took me a while to write because I’ve been busy with exams and social life. But I finally completed one after 2 weeks!!! Yayyy!! ‘Till next time, pooks.

༝༚༝༚, Maxine.

Taglist: @gamermattsgf @luverboychris @worldlxvlys @chrissystur @chaosisalwayscrying @bellasfavbisexual @luvmxtt @tillies33ssss @breeloveschris

#christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #smut #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

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factual-fantasy · 2 years

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Ah yes, the old King Kong himself! I didn’t actually think I was going to add him and Diddy to my AU because I wasn’t sure how they’d fit.. But after brainstorming with a friend, we found a way! XD

I tried to put a lot of thought into DK and Diddy’s designs. Everything was intentional. Diddy and DK’s ENORMOUS size, DKs long fur, the red and blue tones in their fur, DK having long claws while Diddy does not, Diddy’s clothing choice, EVERYTHING! I tried my best to think it all through.

If ya wanna read about their lore and why they look the way the do, I have a ramble below the keep reading just for you! :D

Ahem,

Off the coast of Daisy’s kingdom is this big island that can be seen from the shore. Daisy sent some of her Delfino people to go explore it but they never returned.. so she sent a rescue team after them, but they disappeared too.

Desperate, she turned to Mario and Luigi for help. Now, Mario and Luigi have just proved their strength and heroism by defeating Bowser. And they ALSO have a pet Yoshi. If anyone can go to that seemingly dangerous island and return? Its them.

Daisy approached them with an offer. You go use your magical powers and find out what happened to my missing people, and I’ll give you whatever you want. They agreed and made their way over...

Only to find destroyed campsites, boats torn apart... and bodies. Bodies everywhere.

Turns out this island is home to these enormous ape like animals. And they attacked the Delfino’s because they were loud, setting fires, chopping down trees, taking their food, etc. When they encountered the King himself, Yoshi was utterly terrified. He knew he was outmatched. There was absolutely no way he could protect the Mario brothers from this thing. So he just slowly pulled Mario and Luigi to the ground and cowered in fear. Trying to make them all look as non confrontational as possible.

Thankfully their petrified faces and absolute silence labeled them as a non-threat. And the situation was defused. Loads of shenanigan's later and they waved goodbye to Donkey, Diddy and all the other monkey creatures and returned to Daisy with the gruesome news..

Their reward? They just wanted enough food to fill Yoshi’s belly. Poor guy probably burnt all the calories he had trying not pass out back there.

Now the design lore! :D

On this island, there are these really powerful fruits and veggies that have super star power in them, just like Yoshi’s island. Only these ones work a little differently..

There are two main super foods on this island. The giant red beet type veggies that grow deep in the ground. And the big blue fruits that grow in the trees.

The big red beets are really bitter and tough like rocks. But anyone who eats them will begin to grow in size. The gorilla like animals on this island will use their claws to dig them up and use their iron jaws to crack them open and eat them. That’s why Donkey Kong is red. 75% of his diet consists of these bitter, giant red super beets that make him grow to be giant.

Meanwhile Diddy, and all the other Monkey like animals.. they cant dig for these beets. And their jaws are not strong enough to crack them open. Plus the beets are really bitter.. SO, they prefer to climb into the trees and eat the sweet blue fruits that grow at the very top.

These sweet fruits are also powerful in nature, but instead of making you stronger, they encourage brain growth. So all the monkeys that eat this super sweet brain fruit, will just get really smart and their fur will turn more blue.

The two species almost had a war between them. But they quickly discovered they’re better off together. The gorillas can protect the monkeys from threats, while the Monkeys use their intelligence to make tools and shelter.

This peace is further solidified by Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong's friendship. Diddy being the smartest monkey and DK being the strongest Gorilla.

All in all this island is rather peaceful at its core. But in the end its still full of wild animals. And is considered more dangerous than Yoshi’s island. To this day no one has ever returned to DK’s island. Although DK and Diddy would happily welcome the Mario Brothers back with open arms if they ever decided to visit.

#super mario bros #mario and luigi #donkey kong #diddy kong #donkey kong and diddy kong #yoshi

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ceilidho · 10 months

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coworker soap who frames the fleshlight thing as a joke but with a creepy undercurrent that you cant understand why you know it isnt a joke but you also dont wanna rock the boat so you dont tell hr bc johnny the ex-military man is a model employee otherwise and you cant help but feel hot shame run down ur spine when he says it that you are, at least a little, flattered by it bc shit dude hes HOT. coworker soap who just. doesnt bring it up again. its just boiling rhe frog. he says weird, borderline creepy shit that could be passed off as "guy talk" in any other situation (regardless of readers gender). He follows you around like a puppy and where it used to be normal for you, you feel a little creeped out now but. everyone. already refers to you as a duo. itd be weird if you stopped for no reason? right?

i don't know what broke in my mind long ago that this is like, the weirdly hottest thing in the world to me but im genuinely twitching over it right now.

model employee Johnny, knows the handbook inside and out, walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude. management loves him because his sales are also record high (i mean, it makes sense - i wouldn't be able to say no if he was helping me with a purchase and tried to upsell me). he's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some "jobs for vets" program that they just rolled out (idk i'm making this up). and the guy can stack things on a shelf like no one's business lmao like MILITARY precision/organization.

all your coworkers love him and genuinely like fist pump whenever they get put on the schedule with him because he's a blast to work with, and some of your coworkers are actually incredibly jealous that he just seems to follow you around everywhere. hangs off your every word. always seems to just pop out from around the corner whenever you're having trouble reaching something on a shelf.

but he says weird, uncomfortable shit to you sometimes. way over the line. you don't even know what to say at first when Johnny jokingly tells you that he has a fleshlight at home that he's named after you, just laughs and then stares at you for a second. and you like, give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. until something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, clapping you on the arm and wandering off back to the men's apparel section.

he does a lot of strange shit actually. maybe insists on walking you to your car when the two of you are on the closing shift and it's well into the evening. laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. asks if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. begs management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.

and you can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. he's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet. they defend him viciously. and the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you standing there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. you'll just have to teach him better.

#ceil writing #cod mw2 #cod x reader #soap x reader #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #soap cod #soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap x you #soap/reader #ikea soap

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feistyvirghoe · 2 months

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₊˚ෆ𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑶𝑷𝑳𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼? 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑺 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑶𝑭𝑻𝑬𝑵? ༉‧₊˚.

!!ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ!!

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ꜰʀᴏᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʟꜱɪɴɢ, ɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴜᴛ, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜰ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴄᴏᴏʟ ʙᴀʙʏ ʙᴏᴏ! ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ!

ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴠᴀꜱᴛ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴘʟ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴜʀ ᴜɴᴅɪᴇꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴡɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ʙᴄ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇꜱᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ! <3

ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇʟʏ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴏ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ 18!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 1 >what people love about you guys is how expressive you are with whatever it is you’re doing, like you’re the ones to explore uncharted territory, the people that like to go do out of the box shit, you’re very adventurous, onto the next thing, the next step, i feel like it may be your unpredictability. it’s like a shock to other people, you doing your own thing, how passionate you are about it too. not letting dumb things get in your way, it’s as if you don’t have time for the drama. something about how fierce you are, it seems to wake something up in others. you get people’s attention and i think that scares them, you come off as intimidating but you just got your own, you really need no one to validate your existence. i feel like it’s because you listen, you don’t exclude people, true sweethearts, my lil feisty ass sweethearts. i feel like it may be your brattiness too, you have people engaged, i also feel like it’s the way you love others as well, you show up for people, i feel like others love the way they can count on you. not in a way to take advantage of you and if so clock that shit! i also am feeling you leaving shit behind that does not serve you, you know how people stay in shit situations bc they feel obligated to, well not u babe, you will get your ass up and leave, which u should! you don’t need to stick around and take on shit that’s irrelevant and will waste your damn time. i also feel like people like how you can see through other people’s bs. you’re aware of others weird intentions towards you, like u can feel it and/or see it as well and when u do you it may make you feel like you’re the problem solver, having solutions to the confusion in your life even if u think you don’t. it’s like you re-group, a lot of introspection and pondering, sitting there, listening to your inner self as well, when you put everything together, and it starts making sense you go from there and make the right decisions for yourself.

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 2 > im getting this cool feeling from you guys, like you’re the popular loner, the person who people wanna get close to but they can’t because you’re selective with who you hang around. i know that’s weird but people like how you enjoy your solitude, your peace, how you can keep to yourself, not like you don’t need people but you just don’t need the wrong people all up in your bubble, your safe space. but i also feel like people love how you embrace the chaos, change is like your middle name, you can easily adapt and let go of things that are out of your control, you know how to get out of your comfort zone. you’re someone who’s cutoff game is strong! you simply do not need anyone i swear this is the theme, YOUR INDEPENDENCE, you know that some things never last and shit is temporary. you know how that can irk some people, like they despise the chaos and they think that it’s punishment but you see it as an opportunity to grow and move on from the stuff that was bringing you down, maybe you just can’t take the unnecessary stagnation, like what are you waiting for, i feel like people love this about you, because you know there’s that sunrise that comes the next day. “if you got beef your problem not mine” you’re like a shocker to people, maybe it’s how you look, maybe it’s how your energy comes off to others but you’re just someone who fucking shows people. that shit can be done a different way. yes you know that it’s never really over and this ending or whatever has been broken down in your life is making way for something newer and better. i feel like people love how you can bring balance into your own life, your steady and confident on that tight rope which may be intimidating and extremely intense for others but you can handle that shit, a very transformational pile. people probably love how you bring change into their damn life but yours as well, maybe people are feeling outcasted by you but you just need time to do things alone and on your own, you’re always thinking and creating, some people may think that you’re full of yourself and that you may just want to cause problems but i feel like that’s there insecurity that they may want to rub off on you, like “oh pile 2 hot a big head” oh fucking please. just because you mind your fucking business and because you’re a natural leader, someone who’s in control but also knows that they’re not and that our creator can bring shit down and humble us whenever and you get that, you just fucking get it and if others don’t that’s all on them, you don’t seems to hold grudges and that may make people think that you’re somehow full of yourself because you think you’re better than the stupid drama and negative projections from people. just keep doing you and stay in your damn lane but u already know that! PERIOD!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 3 > i feel like the compliments you don’t receive is how beautiful you are, you’re such a magical manifestor, someone who takes the bull by its horns and starts doing, how you can create such beautiful things, whatever it may be, your skills, you seem smart as hell and i say that because you take advantage of this natural talent that’s within you, this was so weird but i was just getting like stalker fucking energy, like people like to watch u do shit, probably don’t wants you doing certain things bc they know how much abundance is within you but maybe you can’t see it clearly but others can. anyways, this is about you not those freaks. i feel like you’re such an inspiration to others with how quietly you do things. there is this mysteriousness about you guys. others don’t know too much about you and that seems to intrigue them, like “i need to know more more more about you!”jeeeeez!! its probably why that other shit came out, like people seem to yap a lot about you and what you have going on. people love how assertive you are, you’re not arrogant or rude but you just give off that stable personality. someone who’s taking that leadership role in any part of your life, whether that may be with school, work, home life, your friends, you’re someone who people can count on, you know how to balance your femme and masculine side, and we all need to, we can’t have one side overpowering the other you know, it causes a major disruption inside of us, and i also feel like it’s how you draw people in with how alluring you may be, you can do both, you can be very stern and set in your ways and you know when to take action at the right time for yourself but you also know how to step into that receiving role, letting love come to you, i feel people may love how you love others, like you don’t make hasty decisions when it comes to your love life, you know yourself and how valuable you are. you’re precious boo and for others to try and make u look weird (by them talking mad shit, just yapping nonsense about you) but it’s bc you’re a no nonsense person, bitch you’re literally a fucking star! all of these cards are major arcana’s and with that coming out it’s like your life looks almost perfect from the outside but people don’t know how you’re doing inside, like what’s going on in your head and what’s hurting your heart, you keep up a good face for outsiders and i see why, not everyone deserves to be near you and in your beautiful energy! you guys make balanced and wise choices for yourself and for others too! something about your creativity and character i feel like you just simply make other people happy by you just being yourself without feeling guilty for it, which u should never feel guilty for loving yourself and making you your first priority, you matter my love! also i’m feeling your humanitarian side as well, the way you care so much about other people that’s why i said what i said above, it’s like someone hates that side of you but this isn’t that reading baby, don’t play into that stupid game either, it’s okay to of service to others and want to help your community or just anyone in general but set good boundaries for yourself, remind yourself not to extend a hand to ungrateful, disgusting, DISRESPECTFUL individuals, know who deserves your time and energy and who don’t. you’re a badass baby!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓂𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒! 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒’𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝓎𝓅𝑒 𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓁 𝒸𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓊𝓅 𝒽𝑒𝒽𝑒! 𝒾 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓊 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝓂𝓀 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝓍𝓉. 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒, 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓎. 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊*ੈ✩‧₊˚

#black tarot readers #feistyvirghoe #pick a card #tarot readings #pick a photo #intuitive reading #pick a pile #tarot pac #pac reading #boosting ur self esteem #confidence #hype u up

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cains-daughters · 2 months

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dating stefan salvatore headcannon (pt 1?)

needed to start my own fanfict page to scratch my own nasty, daydreaming mind because i'm rewatching my fave shows/movies n im obsessed (sorry for typos its 2am n i dont care)

warning: some nsfw shit, minors go away

he's literally the type of guy that your grandma wants you to marry

he feeds the sapiosexual bitches; conversations with him are so fucking intellectually stimulating and while he's talking about a topic/explaining it, you're just staring at him like "this man is so damn smart... I need to ride him" (lol)

has history teacher vibes/has teacher kink vibes sorry but he would def see how turned on you get while he's talking and use it to his advantage

slow mornings with stefan>>>>>>

hearing "good morning baby" as he's stretching/getting closer/putting his arm under your tits to hug you while you're still in bed😵‍💫😵‍💫

he will def love to spend alone time with you, just being in each others solitude while being in the same room reading, writing, drinking coffee or just thinking

you basically give him the opportunity to create more peace and silence in his life in between all crazy shit

because you're not in the supernatural world, he would try so fucking hard to protect you from even knowing of it. will even compel you without thinking at the beginning if you find out and would confess everything if it puts you in a life threatening situation

people will use this to their advantage but somehow he got Damon to be protective over you and you will have both of their protection

Damon can't stand how you complement each other, he feels like having two Stefans giving him advice but he mostly listens to you because you're hot to him lmao

When you first met Damon all he could do is disrespectfully flirt with you just to make Stefan mad

Stefan writing you poems, novels and dedicating journals for you in which he writes love letters (I NEED HIMMM)

he loves slow, deep, intimate makeout sessions. having you on his lap or sitting infront of him while he's holding you with one hand on the lower back and another one on the back of your head guiding you while he grips your hair not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to want him to face fuck you <3

he's dominant, he truly enjoys leading you and not just sexually, he will always be giving you non-sexual dominance like guiding you in crowded spaces, makes decisions for you if you need assistance, will be watching you/making eye contact with you if not together in the same room

he loves having you sit on his feet while your head rests on his lap and he caresses your face and plays with your hair (I NEEEED HIIIMMMMMUGHHHHH) (also this gives me Klaus/Elijah Mikaelson vibes im dead)

im so tired, but i will sleep thinking about our daddy Stefan Salvatore AMEN and i wanna write more shit PEACE

#stefan salvatore #the vampire diaries #stefan salavatore x reader #stefan salvatore smut #stefan salvatore headcannon #damon salvatore #tvd fanfiction #stefan salvatore x you #stefan salvatore x reader #stefan salvatore imagine #stefan salvatore fanfiction #tvd #damon salvarote #damon salvatore x reader #damon salvatore x y/n #damon salvatore x female reader #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #klaus mikealson x reader

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priceyprice · 6 months

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AGHHHGHGHGH the jealousy's driving me insane on this one (him eating reader out made me feel a liiittle better). I wanna know how Prof!Price would be like if he was the one in reader's place 🤔🤔

[Part one here]

Lawd.

I'm gonna be honest with you, anon. My Prof!Price doesn't get jealous very easily...

But if the situations were reversed, it would be much worse than just a phone call.

For example, a few days ago, Price was in the comfort of his home, grading some quizzes he gave the students about some topic he taught them. Everything was quiet around him, peaceful. Just like he loves.

His lover was sleeping soundly on his couch that was placed at the corner of his office, with nothing but a grey blanket around her after an intense moment the two of them had a few minutes before he started to check the students works.

He went through all the papers smoothly, correcting a few errors and incorrect answers, not faced about the students' papers.

Until he found one paper with something written at the top. One of his students wrote their name with a plus sign and another name inside of a heart.

Of course, it's not the first time Price has seen something like that. He shouldn't be surprised if he compares that innocent writing with other things he has seen written before.

Of course, Price doesn't care about what his students write on their papers. After all, he needed to grade the answers, not the scribbles or drawings.

Of course, he would've let that one paper pass if it was just some random name.

If it wasn't his lover's name written beside another name inside a heart.

Professor Price is not a man who gets jealous very easily. He always knew who he was, what he gives and what he wanted. He'll accept his wrongdoings and fix them, taking his pride aside and putting other priorities first.

So him getting jealous? It's not gonna happen.

That was until she appeared in his life.

He doesn't even know when he started to get jealous of other guys trying to make a move on her lover. He can't help but swallow the desire to go over them and wrap his arms around her and give her the most breathtaking kiss ever. Making a total scene worthy of being the most talked topic on campus for generations.

So, Price would've been furious when he saw the student walking into his classroom after he told him to visit him after the classes. He knows the guy, and he's not a bad student in his class. Just to later find out that his lover had been helping him from time to time, which is why he had good grades.

Limpet, he thought.

Price asked him why he wrote that on his paper in a calm manner, almost too calm. His movements were paused, and his breathing was slow but heavy. If the guy hadn't been so nervous, he would've noticed the little droplets of sweat forming on his professor's forehead.

The poor student was stuttering, trying to explain why he wrote that on his paper. "B-Because I li-... I like her." He said, dropping his head low, not daring to look elsewhere besides the floor, full of embarrassment after just confessing his feelings for a girl to his strict and serious professor of literature.

Just at that moment, Price felt all his muscles tense and his vision getting blurry. His mouth was open, his head thrown back in ecstasy while his brows were furrowed.

Of course, Price would've been mad if his lover wasn't under his desk quietly taking care of a boner she made him a few minutes before the student came through that door, making him come in her mouth just at the exact moment that student confessed his feelings.

#john price #captain price #john price x reader #cod mw2 #task force 141 #141 x reader #cod 141 #prof price #professor price

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eyeheartboobiez · 11 days

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-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 6!! 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝖺��𝗅 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗂𝗍💕

liked by bigdickgrayson, cass.cain, and others

@rred_hood: hey guys. sorry for the radio silence, but i needed some time to figure things out w/ everything that’s been going on. just to give a quick update: these past few months i’ve been working on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. mostly though, i need to re-evaluate the people i allow to be in my life vs. the people i actually want around.

as you all know, artemis and i were seen out together a couple of months back, despite our very toxic relationship in the past. i’ve mentioned her abuse towards me here and there before, but now i wanna set the record straight.

me and artemis were NEVER happy. point blank. the first few months of our relationship seemed amazing, sure, but every moment after that felt like hell on earth. im not gonna go into the specifics of her treatment towards me (bcs frankly it’s not anyone’s business but mine), but the only reason we met up last month was to hopefully make peace with what happened during the time we were together.

as for the copyright situation and my alleged involvement in it; everything will be revealed before of the judge. while im legally not allowed to speak on it at this time, i will go ahead and apologize in advance for the news you’ll be hearing in the upcoming days…

before i post this, though, i publicly want to say this: @y/nforeal im GENUINELY sorry for any of the pain or stress all of this has caused you. i betrayed your trust, and have absolutely no expectations for you to forgive me. believe it or not, every second of our time together felt like pure bliss, and you’re the last person i ever wanted to hurt. i sincerely hope that you get everything you’ve ever dreamed of in life, regardless of whether i get to be part of the journey, or have to cheer you on from afar.

to end off, anyone who really supports me knows idc to involve myself in drama, so please, all i ask is that you be patient with me as i figure out a way to right my wrongs. peace✌🏻

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user1: all the jason antis looking mad goofy rn💀

⤷ user2: this man js opened up about his trauma and you’re staring fan wars… get a life fr

user3: praying for ur peace jay🙏

user4: yea enough is enough artemis need to be locked up for life

⤷ user5: matter fact, put her under the jail

user6: i just hope that y/n understands🙁

— comments were turned off —

Case Closed, Artemis Grace headed straight to the slammer! Where does this leave us now? (2/27/2023 1:42 PM PT)

From TikTok, to Instagram; almost all of social media has been flooded with people's response to the verdict of one of the biggest cases in Hollywood right now. Fans all over the internet have been posting nothing but support of the court's ruling. The hashtag "#WHOMPWHOMP" has even found itself trending on twitter in response to Artemis' behavior displayed throughout the trial.

The celeb's unsavory etiquette is nothing new though. From sobbing in the witness stand, to lashing out at her own lawyer, Artemis has shown nothing but discomposure since the day charges were pressed against her. But, for everyone new here, let's start from the beginning.

For those who may not have been keeping up with the story, back in September, acclaimed singer Y/N Y/LN took legal action against Artemis Grace on the grounds of copyright infringement. After months of speculation, investigators found that Grace had illegally distributed a song that had absolutely no business being in her possession in the first place.

Although the track was taken very favorably by fans and casual listeners alike, the actual artist was nowhere near pleased. Once sharing her feelings about the situation online, Y/N immediately put her emotions into a new album, the same album that led her to receive the first grammy of her career.

Aside from the copyright violation though, Artemis is also being sued for causing emotional distress in regards to all the drama she got wrapped up in with her ex-boyfriend, Jason Todd.

While Jason and Y/N were presumed to have been dating since March of last year (if not earlier), that fantasy was quickly ruined when Artemis and Todd were caught being uncomfortably close with each other outside of a club last August.

Of course, many fans on both sides were reasonably hurt by the news. Those who have been following Y/N for a while now may know that she has had trouble opening up to people in the past; something she has expressed quite a bit in her music. So, when word broke out that Jason seemed to be playing with her feelings, her supporters were beyond furious.

Even songwriter Cassandra Cain, Jason's adopted sister, made sure to support Y/N in every way that she could. The two have been friends for years now, having officially met back in 2020 at the billboard music awards. While Cassandra isn't a woman of many words, she made sure that her actions spoke volumes.

Late last year, she helped Y/N write one of the songs for her latest album, basically ensuring her win at this year's Grammys. Outside of music though, posts have been made by the two besties seemingly having the time of their lives.

Between the high emotions and the immense camaraderie being shown, fans have come to the conclusion that both women may have gotten together at some point while working together.

Without a doubt, there was an obvious tension between the duo while doing promotions for their shared single. Cassandra, though a notable lesbian icon in the community, has yet to speak up on the rumors (and, knowing her, probably never will).

Back to the legal proceedings, the heartbreaker in question was also present during Artemis' trial. In order to shed some light on the story, Jason Todd appeared before the court as a witness in hopes of ensuring that Y/N wins this case.

Unlike Artemis, Jason showed nothing but absolute remorse for his actions. About a month ago, the Gothamite made a post to his instagram page detailing the shame he felt by being involved in such acts, although in reality he had little participation to begin with.

While on trial, it was found that Todd actually had little to no involvement with the illegal distribution of the track. In fact, Artemis herself confessed that he only talked about Y/N having a song that was "in the works". He also revealed to her that the track was "something his girlfriend (had) dedicated it to him", thus confirming our suspicions of their relationship status.

Alongside this, she also admitted that their meet up back in August originally had nothing to do with music, nor were they trying to rekindle their disastrous affair. Jason did state that he was notably intoxicated that night, while Artemis indicated that she "hadn't had anything to drink" prior to their conversation.

In the end, after the grueling legal battle, Artemis is soon to be locked up after receiving a firm guilty ruling from the judge. The now former singer has been sentenced to three years in prison without possibility of parole, in addition to paying $25,000 as compensation for emotional distress.

Outside the courtroom Y/N and Jason were seen speaking together away from everyone else, as well as sharing a meaningful hug before parting ways. The heartwarming image that was caught by paparazzi has given shippers more than enough hope that the two celebs can hopefully rekindle the love they once had.

a/n: thoughts?

taglist: @din0o0o @cipheress-to-k-pop @bonnie-tz @phatnyash420 @rwylm-things @sheluvv-gambino

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ccwpidsblog · 3 months

Note

hi bb we're literally on the phone rn but im thinking about reader and how disappointed she'd be when her and the guys get to the base in London 😔

where are the trees? and the caves? where are the wandering tourists she can feast on? she's been happily eating exotic fruits on her island in brazil for decades and now shes forced to help these big nasty mortal brutes on their suicide missions. omg she's so so upset with her situation and hates that shes a woman of her word.

and to make it worse?? price won't even let her eat the new recruits or the men they hold hostage :((( not even a nibble. he's such a mean old man :(( like hows a girl supposed to get some nutrients around here? it's okay she might just eat johnny one day :)

i also made a moodboard?? for xoana cus she's one of my favorite ocs you've made. love you byeee

omg guys i have the best partner everrrr 🥹🥹

read wild woman for context

she is highly disappointed with the living conditions of the base. its smelly, loud, and unfortunately littered with men who are very interested in 141s newest member. thankfully the reader has very weird and off putting energy in like a sexy way ofc that causes them not to approach and those that do are quickly sent away with their tail between their legs when her eyes slit and she snarls at them like a caged animal. which price or kyle quickly show their disappointment in her behavior leaving her huffy. johnny and simon will it wholeheartedly encourage it though.

i can just imagine ghost taking her by the back of the neck like a scolded kitten when he catches her luring in a new recruit. just as shes about to take a bite he swooping in "we told you no eating." carrying her away while she snarls and curses.

on the topic of food she's not impressed by it but she does get free rain missions, killing as many as she can and making their jobs easier and she does get hostages sometimes. only the ones that choose to be extra difficult.

and poor johnny he knows no peace with her around but he doesn't wanna be saved.

#poly!task force 141 x reader #ghost x reader #cod x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #kyle gaz x you #john price x you #task force 141 #141 x reader #fic: wild woman ᝰ.ᐟ

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serial-designation-jey · 4 days

Text

ALRIGHT YOU GUYS ASKED FOR THIS!

MURDER DRONES INCORRECT QUOTES, 38 PAGES WORTH, THE SHIPS ARE NUZI, DIZZY AND OILROSE. THIS WAS MADE LIKE A WEEK AFTER EPISODE 6 RELEASED. BE PREPARED THIS WILL BE LONG.

**Thad:** We call that a traumatic experience.

**Thad, turning to Uzi:** Not a "bruh moment".

**Thad, turning to J:** Not "sadge".

**Thad, turning to V:** And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

**Lizzy:** *lying down and crying*

**V:** There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?

**V:** Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

**N:** All the time.

**V:** Then you should be used to it by now.

**Uzi:** You need a hobby.

**V:** I have a hobby!

**Uzi:** Fawning over J isn’t a hobby.

**N:** How do you connect with a fictional character?

**Thad:** What?

**Doll:** что? (What?)

**Lizzy:** What?

**Uzi:** *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

**Doll:** Иногда я разговариваю сам с собой без причины. (Sometimes i talk to myself.)

**Doll:** Я тоже! (Me too!)

**Lizzy:** How do I tell Doll that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

**Doll:** Uzi просто сказал: «У меня есть тяга к разрушению», а затем они нагнулись и развязали мой ботинок. (Uzi just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.)

**Uzi:** I will send my army to attack!

**Uzi:** *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

**J:** What kinds of sounds annoy you?

**N:** Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

**J, now interested:** Lets say imaginary.

**N:** Spiders wearing flip-flops.

**Lizzy:** Ow!

**Doll:** В чем дело? (What’s wrong?)

**Lizzy:** I have this weird pain right behind my visor.

**Doll:** Это называется стрессовая головная боль. Я получил свой первый, когда мне было четыре года. (It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.)

**N:** J, you’re mean!

**J:** What did you say?

**N:** You heard me!

**J, internally:** And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

**Thad:** Why are you two always out during snowstorms?

**N:** It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of snow.

**Uzi:** V bet me I couldn’t get struck by lightning, but she’s WRONG.

**Doll:** Так когда же мы им расскажем? (So when are we gonna tell them? )

**Lizzy:** Just give her a minute.

**Uzi:** *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

**Lizzy:** Hey! Wanna hear a joke?

**Doll:** Конечно. (Sure.)

**Lizzy:** Your life!

**Doll:** На самом деле моя жизнь — не шутка, шутки имеют смысл. (Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.)

**Lizzy:** Doll, no.

**Tessa:** Keep it running. *Tosses keys over shoulder into empty parking lot.*

*The Squad cleaning up*

**Thad:** Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.

**Lizzy, to Uzi:** Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

**Doll:** Я не был настолько пьян от масла. (I wasn’t that drunk on oil.)

**Lizzy:** You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

**Doll:** ПОТОМУ ЧТО ВЫ ЕСТЬ! (BECAUSE YOU ARE!)

*When a child starts crying in public*

**N:** *tries to make the child laugh*

**Doll:** *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

**Lizzy:** *gives [bad] detailed instructions to the parents*

**Thad:** *cries with the child*

**V:** *ignores the child*

**Uzi:** *is the reason why the child is crying*

**Lizzy:** Why are we friends?

**V:** Poor decisions on your part.

**Uzi:** So, are you two dating now?

**J and V:** Yes.

**Uzi:** Why?

**J:** I happen to find V very appealing.

**Uzi:** Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with V.

**Uzi:** When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “Woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why N made me get tested.

**J:** Is something burning?

**V, leaning seductively on the counter:** Just my desire for you.

**J:** V, the toaster is literally on fire.

**J**: When I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

**N**: What changed?

**J**: Now I know you’re a fake bitch.

**J, passing their phone to N:** I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them and having my organs removed one by one, I’d choose the organs.

**N, passing the phone back to J:** I'm passing the phone to my best friend!

**Uzi:** Two brooooos!

**N:** Chillin' in a hot tub!

**Uzi:** Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

**N:**

**Uzi:**

**N:** *tearing up*

**Uzi:** Babe, c'mon...

**N:** AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

**Uzi:** Babe...

**Uzi:** sapnu puaS.

**Thad:** What??

**N:** What language is that?

**Uzi:** Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Uzi was removed from the group chat*

**V:** At this point I have to confess… I started to feel a little bad for Doll. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them at their own game, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable to look into their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Doll did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over all their lowly competitors. Or… perhaps… was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again… all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Doll really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along?

**V:** But then I remembered that Doll ain’t shit, and I got over it!

*Bullying Prevention Day at school*

**Teacher:** Uzi, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?

**Uzi:** Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—

**Teacher:** To write something to your teacher?

**Uzi:** —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always said the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!

**Teacher:** *internal screaming*

**V:** This bloodline ends with me.

**Uzi:** That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

**V:** How’s practice going?

**Lizzy:** Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

**V:** Okay, just don’t get any oil on your clothes.

**Lizzy:** …you shouldn’t be condoning this.

**V:** Don’t tell me how to live my life.

**Uzi, singing:** I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

**Lizzy:** A mom.

**J:** A better love life.

**V:** Mental stability.

**N:** *clueless* Bagels?

**Doll:** Люди всегда отвергают мои идеи, и мне это надоело. Два предложения, и все всегда крич��т: «Какого черта? это незаконно!» и «Ты не можешь этого сделать!». Мол, давай, дай мне поговорить! (People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “What the fuck? That’s illegal!” and “You can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!)

**V:** How was your day, Lizzy?

**Lizzy:** Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.

**V:** Oh? And what does that mean?

**Lizzy:** It means I can't bully Uzi for a whole week.

**V:** J annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow.

**Uzi:** There is nothing special about tomorrow.

**V:** But there is something special about watching the color leave their eyes as panic takes over.

**Lizzy, to Doll:** You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—

**Doll:** Не могу поверить, что в моем свидетельстве о рождении написано Ф… (I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... )

**Doll:** ...Как я не родился? (...How did I fail being born?)

**Uzi:** *About to do something incredibly stupid*

**N:** I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

**Doll, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl:** Я убил парня, и мне это понравилось- (I killed a guy, and I liked it- )

**Lizzy, whispering:** Should we call the exorcist?

**Uzi, also singing:** The taste of his cherry chapstick.

**V, appalled:** Call the exorcist.

**Uzi:** Guys… the principal just called—

**Rebecca:** It was Lizzy!

**Lizzy:** It was Braiden!

**Braiden:** It was Thad!

**Thad:** It was me!

**Uzi:** I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

**V:** *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

**J:** You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "Huh.."

**V:** I saw you.

**J:** Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Tessa in a turkey costume.

**N:** Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

**V:** Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Lizzy, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

**N:** You're a bad influence.

**V:** And you don't know your sayings.

**Uzi:** Is stabbing someone immoral?

**Lizzy:** Not if they consent to it.

**V:** Depends on who you’re stabbing.

**N:** YES??!!?

**V:** The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

**Doll:** Хотите чего-нибудь выпить? (Would you like something to drink?) *They open the fridge* У нас есть вода, молоко, сок, тараканы, Доктор Пеппер- (We have water, milk, juice, cockroaches, Dr. Pepper-)

**Lizzy:** Cockroaches?

**Doll:** Тараканы это тогда. (Cockroaches it is then.)

**Lizzy:** No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of cockroaches*

**V:** How long do you think it'll take?

**J:** I don’t know, three or four.

**Uzi:** Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

**V:** Yeah, maybe five.

**Uzi:** Five what?!

*J Driving and taking V and N along for the ride*

**N:** That's a pothole. To the left!

**J:** Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

**V, sticking their face into the front over the center console:** Cha Cha real smooth.

**J:** I don't think that's how the song goes.

**N, crying and gripping the handle:** Please just take me home.

**J:** Country Roads.

**V:** To the place.

**J and V in unison:** I Belong!

**N, crying harder:** What the fuck?

*J and V are in a mirror maze*

**J, seeing V:** C'mon, you got it! Almost through!

**V:** Oh! I see you! *runs straight into a mirror, shattering it*

**J:** *Cries laughing*

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

**Lizzy:** I love me too.

**V:** Oh no.

**N:** *cries* I love you too.

**Uzi:** Sounds fake, but okay.

**J:** *A flustered mess*

**Thad:** Can I get a refund?

**V:** It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

**Doll:** Я думаю, мой ангел-хранитель пьет. (I think my guardian angel drinks.)

**Thad:** Hey, Lizzy? Can I get some dating advice?

**Lizzy:** Just because I'm with Doll doesn't mean I know how I did it.

**N:** There is no i in happyness…

**J:** There is if you fucking spell it right.

**Uzi:** We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at V’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

**Lizzy:** Would you take a bullet for me?

**Doll:** …да? (...yes?)

*Uzi angrily bursts into the room*

**Lizzy:** *running away* Great, thanks!

**N:** You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

**V, stirring their coffee:** I prefer it with salt.

**Uzi:** Are you okay?

**N, crying:** Yeah, it was just the onions.

**Uzi:** *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to N?

**Thad:** Do you support gay rights?

**Doll:** Я буквально гей. (I’m literally gay.)

**Uzi:** They’re avoiding the question!

**N:** Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

**V:** Please, just say fuck.

**Lizzy:** Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

**Thad:** Eyy, homie!

**Uzi:** But then there's cootie...

**J:** Die.

**Uzi:** Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses? Like if horses weren’t a thing, drones would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

**V:** Elephants.

**Uzi:** Blocked.

**J:** Camels.

**Uzi:** Extra blocked.

**N:** Donkeys.

**Uzi:** Ultra blocked.

**Lizzy:** That dick.

**Uzi:** ...Followed.

**N:** Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute drone but I'm not!

**V:** N, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

**N:** It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

**J:** ...It was a bug.

**N:** It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

**V:** ...

**J:** ...

**N:** Stop looking at me like that!

**Uzi:** I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.

**J:** Aw... that's not true.

**J:** It'd be exactly the same.

**J:** You're not important.

**V, admiring a sleeping J:** You’re so cute.

**J, sleepily:** I could beat your ass.

**V, lovingly:** I know.

**Lizzy:** I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation.

**Thad:** Yeah! We’re cowards!

**Lizzy**: Thad- no.

**V:** Stay foxy.

**J:** Die lonely.

**Lizzy, filling out legal paperwork:** Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

**V:** Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

**J:** I personally was created in a lab.

**Uzi:** I just straight up spawned lol.

**V:** Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

**V:** Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

**Lizzy:** *Pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere*

**Doll:** Где ты достала это? (Where did you get that?)

**Lizzy:** My pocket.

**Doll:** Как держать стакан воды в кармане? (How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?)

**Lizzy:** Skills.

**Lizzy:** How are you today?

**Doll:** Пожалуйста, не заставляй меня думать о своей жизни. (Please don’t make me think about my life.)

Here’s a bunch of shipping ones that I got:

**Uzi:** My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.

**N:** *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

**Uzi:** That one. I want that one.

**Uzi:** Hey, J, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

**J:** uh. Yeah. why.

**Uzi:** And you, V?

**V:** Umm... yes?

**Uzi:** Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

**V:** Did she just-

**N:** Are you ready to commit?

**Uzi:** Like a crime or a relationship?

**N:** Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

**Uzi:** You always act stupid.

**Uzi:**

**Uzi:** Wait...

**J:** Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

**V:** Oh. We're going out?

**J:** Wh...

**V:** I want to kiss you.

**J, not paying attention:** What?

**V:** I said if you die, I won't miss you.

**J:** Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

**V:** I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting crazy.

**J:** But you’re always acting crazy?

**V:** ...

**V:** Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

**Doll:** Кем ты хочешь быть на Хэллоуин? (What do you want to be for Halloween?)

**Lizzy:** Yours.

**Doll:** …

**Doll:** …да, это было бы довольно страшно. (…yeah, that would be pretty scary.)

End of MAJOR shipping section

**Thad:** I was arrested for being too cool.

**Lizzy:** The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

**J, when V walks in:** Oh, hey, I'm just storing oil.

**J:** *“accidentally” smacks N in the face with a worker’s arm*

**N:** Anyone wanna play cards?

**J:**Sure, anyone have any poker chips?

**Uzi:** Plus four.

**Thad:** Pikachu, I choose you

**V:** Go fish.

**N:** I meant rummy-

**Random worker drone:** It's gin rummy.

**Uzi:** We’ve got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without

**J:** N, probably.

**J:** I'm sorry please talk to me

**V:**

**J:** Hello? World’s most amazing drone? Sweet Pea? Company assigned partner?

**V:** Don't sweet pea me you stole my bubbles.

**J:** I'm not doing too well.

**V:** Are you okay?

**J:** I have this headache that comes and goes

**N:** *enters the room*

**J:** There it is again!

**J:** I CAN'T DO IT!

**V, laughing:** I CAN'T EITHER!

**J:** I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

**N:** WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

**J:**

**J:** I appreciate it,

**J:** BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

**Doll:** J-

**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

**Lizzy:** J we gotta-

**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

**J:** YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

**J, motioning to Uzi:** NOT FUCKING THIS

'Can I copy the homework?'

**N:** I can help you with it!

**Uzi:** Yeah, sure.

**V:** Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

**J:** lol nope.

**Lizzy:** We had homework?

**Doll:** *Read 5:55pm*

**J:** We need to distract these guys **V:** Leave it to me **V:** Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. **Thad, Uzi, and Lizzy:** *Immediately begin arguing* **N, watching in horror:** Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

**V:** Time for plan G. **J:** Don’t you mean plan B? **V:** No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. **Uzi:** What about plan D? **V:** Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. **N:** What about plan E? **V:** I’m hoping not to use it. J dies in plan E. **Uzi:** I like plan E.

**J:** If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. **N:** What if it bites me and it dies!? **V:** Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, N, learn to listen. **Uzi:** What if it bites itself and I die? **N:** That’s voodoo. **Lizzy:** What if it bites me and someone else dies? **J:** That’s correlation, not causation. **Uzi:** What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? **V:** That’s kinky. **J:** Oh my God.

OILROSE SECTION because im running out of ideas and i love them a lot

**J:** Here's some advice

**V:** I didn't ask for any

**J:** Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

**V:** *Stabs their leg with tail* FUCK!

**J:** Language!

**V:** What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

**J:**

**V:** You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

*J:* You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

**V, drinking toast:** Why do you say that?

**V:** So are we flirting right now?

**J:** I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU??

**V:** That doesn’t answer my question.

**V:** Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

**J:** You and me.

**V, tearing up:** Okay.

**V:** .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (I’M SORRY)

**J:** What's that?

**V:** Remorse code.

**J:** I'm even angrier now.

**V:** Am I in trouble?

**J:** Take a guess.

**V:** No?

**J:** Take another guess.

**J, pointing:** May I sit there?

**V:** That's my lap

**J:** That doesn't answer my question, V.

**V:** English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

**J:** You need to stop.

**J:** *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

**V:** *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

**J:** I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

**V:** It’s not a joke.

**V:** *sniffles*

**V:** I’m a legit snack.

**J, addressing the squad:** And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

**V:** But – that’s just a trash can.

**J:** It sure is!

**J:** Remember when we didn't try to solve all our problems with attempted murder?

**V:** Stop romanticizing the past.

**V:** I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

**J:** I wake up at 4:30 AM

**V:**

**V:** I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

**J:** V...

**V:** Oh no, 'V' in b-flat.

**V:** You're disappointed.

**J:** petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday

**V:** Wednesay

**J:** Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

**V:** You love me, right, J?

**J:** Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

*J and V skipping stones on a (frozen) lake*

**J:** It’s such a nice night..

**V, whispering:** Take that you fucking lake

**J:** You're right.

**V:** That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long

**J:** Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

**N:** >:O language

**Lizzy:** Yeah watch your fucking language

**V:** OKAY WHO TAUGHT LIZZY THE FUCK WORD?

**Uzi:** 'The fuck word'.

**Thad:** Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

**Lizzy:** Oh my god they censored it

**Uzi:** Say fuck, Thad.

**Lizzy:** Do it, Thad. Say fuck.

**V:** Rules are made to be broken.

**N:** They were made to be followed.Nothing is made to be broken.

**Thad:** Uh, piñatas.

**J:** Glow sticks.

**Uzi:** Karate boards.

**Lizzy:** Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

**V:** Rules.

**N:**

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

**J:** I will not let you down.

**Thad:** Sounds fun.

**V:** K.

**Uzi:** No, I'm fucking not.

**Lizzy:** Do I have to be?

**N:** Please god, I am so tired.

**Lizzy:** What are you talking about N? You love it here!

**N:** I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

**Lizzy:** See, the problem is, V, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.

**V:** I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

**V:** I’m so tired.

**Uzi:** Did you get to bed late?

**V:** No.

**Uzi:** Did you do something strenuous?

**V:** No.

**Uzi:** Then why are you tired?

**V:** I’m alive.

**Uzi:** Sounds exhausting.

**V:** You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

**J:** What changed your mind?

**V:** Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

**V:** Are you busy?

**J:** Yes.

**V:** Cool, listen to this...

Somebody stop me im decending into oilrose again

*V recording whilst Lizzy and Uzi are arguing*

**Lizzy:** HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!

**V:** *wheezes like a tea kettle*

**J, pulling out a knife:** I'm gonna stab them both.

**Lizzy:** YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?

**Uzi:** It's my favorite movi-

**Lizzy:** SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, UZI!

**Uzi:** I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y-

**Lizzy:** GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

**J:** Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

**J:** *glares at N*

**N:** Well, sorry I have morals!

*The Squad's cooking skills*

**Doll:** *master chef*

**Lizzy:** *knows a few recipes*

**Thad:** *can follow instructions on a box*

**Uzi:** *made toast once*

**N:** *banned from the kitchen*

**Lizzy:** Why are you on fire?

**V:** This is just how my day is going.

*Lizzy and Thad are texting*

**Lizzy:** Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

**Thad:** What did they change my name to?

**Lizzy:** Chosen One.

**Thad:** Don’t change it back.

**Lizzy:** BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

**Thad:** I’m the chosen one.

**Lizzy:** In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

**N:** Wasn’t V with you?

**V:** In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

**Uzi:** Go to hell!

**J:** Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

**V, from far away:** Me too!

**Uzi:** Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

**Thad:** Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*

**J:** If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, V!

*Neither of them dies*

**V:** …

**J:** …

**V:** So do you wanna talk about somethi-

**J:** No thank you.

**V:** J! I thought you were dead!

**J:** No, just in deep cover.

**V:** ...But it was an open casket.

**J:** It was very deep.

**J:** V, I love you and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?

**Uzi, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that V is sitting atop:** Oh nothing much.

**V:** I love you too :)

**Uzi:** Don’t mansplain this to me!

**J:** Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you!

**Uzi:** …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

**Lizzy:** Who the fuck-

**N:** Language!

**Lizzy:** Whom the fuck-

**N:** No.

**Uzi:** Is J always like this when she loses?

**V:** Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of (year).

**J:** YOU BUMPED THAT TABLE AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

**N, in a high voice, holding Barbie:** Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

**Uzi, in a deep voice, holding Ken:** Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

**V:** What the fuck are you guys doing?

**Uzi:** Playing systemic oppression.

**J:** Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

**V:** The mouth of a jellyfish is also an an*s.

**J:** Stop.

**Lizzy:** ARE YOU-

**Uzi:** Fucking.

**Lizzy:** KIDDING ME?! YOU-

**Uzi:** Fucking.

**Lizzy:** IDIOT!

**Thad:** …What was that?

**Uzi:** V banned Lizzy from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

**Uzi:** I hate you with every inch of my body!

**J:** That’s not a lot of inches.

**Lizzy:** You think you're smarter than everyone else.

**J:** I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

**V:** I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

**Uzi:** I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

**Tessa:** Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are!

**Cyn:** What are you then?

**Tessa:** I'm a Virgo! -fucking dies-

**Lizzy:** She's the girl of my dreams!

**Thad:** You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

**Lizzy:** I have a lot of dreams.

**J:** Why am I the bad guy?

**V:** I don't know, why am I the hot one? We all have our thing.

**N:** Do you always have to attack me with your words?

**J:** Would you prefer me to use a brick?

**Thad:** Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely!

**J:** With NAPALM.

**J:** Hey, wanna go hunt with me?

**V:** You have a gun in your hand. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

**J:** The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

**J:** I will not yield.

**Thad:** What’s it like being tall?

**Uzi:** Is it nice?

**Lizzy:** Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

**N:** We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

**V, trying to comfort J:** What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

**V:** I want to be like a caterpillar.

**Uzi:** Explain.

**V:** Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

**N:** You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

**V:**

**J:** That's just another highlight!

**Doll:** Выйди из моей комнаты (Get out of my room)

**V, standing in the doorway:** I’m not in your room.

**J:** You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.

**V, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced oil:** Sucks to be you.

**J:** I don't know, it's not my cup of oil.

**V:** Well then whose is it?

**J, staring at a cup of oil:** I don't know!

**Doll:** Бро, мне приснилось, что мы поцеловал. (Bro, I had a dream we kissed.)

**Lizzy:** Bro, relax it was just a dream.

**Doll:** Ха, гей, я бы тебя не целовать. (Huh, gay, I wouldn’t kiss you.)

**Lizzy:** You wouldn’t?

**Doll:** Я имею в виду, если ты не хочешь… (I mean, unless you want to-)

**Uzi:** This can’t get any worse. Can it?

**J:** Sure it can - just give me a minute.

**Uzi:** Ew. What kind of tea is this?

**J:** I boiled oil.

**V:** Guys, my friend here is bilingual.

**J:** Yes.

**V:** Which means they like both boys and girls.

**J:** Ye- wait, what-

**Uzi:** V, that's not what bilingual means-

**V:** Shhh, it's okay J. I still love you, girl.

**N and Uzi:** ...

**V:** Full homo.

**Thad:** Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend?

**Lizzy:** Generic excuse.

**Thad:** I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face.

**Lizzy:** I can.

**N:** Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?”

**J:** I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

**V:** Truth or dare?

**Lizzy:** Dare.

**V:** I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

**Lizzy:** Hey Uzi?

**Uzi:** Yeah?

**Lizzy:** Can you move? I'm trying to get to Doll.

OILROSE SECTION (again) im running out of ideas and i love them a lot

**J:** Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

**V:** Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

**V:** Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

**J:** Okay.

**V:** And make out during the scary parts.

**J:** Th-

**J:** The scary parts.

**J:** Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

**V:** I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

**J:** What- how?

**V:** You’d be like “come with me to hunt… Mrs. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

**J:** *angrily presses V against a wall* WHERE'S MY JCJENSON PENS?!

**V:** ...

**V:** Are we about to kiss-

**J:** Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, V!

**V:** You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

**V:** I love you.

**J, not paying attention:** What was that?

**V:** I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

**V:** You look good in that hoodie.

**J:** You know where else I'd look good?

**V, zero hesitation, without thinking:** My bed.

**J, at the same time:** By your side- wait, what?

**V, throwing their head into J's lap:** Tell me I'm pretty!

**J, lovingly stroking their hair:** You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

**J:** Do you love me?

**V:** We’re literally married.

**J:** Yeah, but as friends or—

**J:** That was so hot, V.

**V:** I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

**J:** I'm so in love with you.

**V:** You got a date yet J?

**J:** No...

**V:** Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

**V:** *seductively takes off glasses*

**V:** Wow...

**J:** *blushes* Haha... what?

**V:** You're really fucking blurry.

**J:** Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your girlfriend?

**V:** Dude- Its satire!

**J:** THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

**V:** Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

**J:** Peonies, why?

**V:**

**J:** Were you going to get me flowers?

**V:**

**J:**

**V:** ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

**J:** BE A BETTER PERSON!

**V:** WHY?!

**J:** BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

**V, to J:** We had a date!

**V:** *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

**V arguing with J:** HOW DO I LOVE YOU?

**J:** NO BUT YOU HA-... you- love me?

**J:** Goodnight to the love of my life, V, and fuck the rest of y'all.

**V:** If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long

**N:** If you got arrested what would be the charges?

**Lizzy:** Theft.

**Thad:** Disturbing the peace.

**Uzi:** Aggravated assault.

**J:** Arson.

**V:** All of the above. In that order, probably.

**V:** I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

*V and J playing Minecraft*

**V:** Oh no, oh no, oh no-

**J:** What’s wrong?

**V:** I did a thing.

**J:** *You regret the thing you dID-*

**V:** *screams*

**J:** What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it-

**V:** *screams again*

**J:** If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

**Lizzy:** Ooh, I like your accent, where you from?

**Random Drone:** I am Liberian.

**Lizzy:** Oh, my bad.

**Lizzy, whispering:** I like your accent, where you from?

**V:** Pfft, you should meet J, they're such a tsundere.

**Lizzy:** They... they just stabbed you.

**V:** So cute.

**N:** I think Uzi is in trouble.

**V:** Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

**V:** I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the oil in my body is gone and I die from overheating.

**N:** Are you okay?

**J:** Did you actually just ask them that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?

*in a group chat*

**V:** First one to reply is gat.

**V:** *gay

**V:** Wait...

**V, day-dreaming:** When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

**N:** You don't know anything about me!

**J:** I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

**V:** *casually taking four stairs at a time*

**Uzi, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time:** Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

**Doll:** Эй, Лиззи, я нашел паука. Крутой пацан. Спасибо, что ели комаров. (Hey Lizzy, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.)

**Doll:** О нет, куда это пропало? (Oh no, where did it go?)

**Lizzy:** DOLL WHAT THE FUCK?!

**V:** If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate.

**J:** What?

**V:** Good luck.

**J:** Stressed.

**V:** Depressed.

**Uzi:** Possessed.

**Doll:** Одержимый. (Obsessed.)

**Thad:** Impressed.

**N:** Chicken breast.

**Everyone:** ...What?

**N:** I just wanted to join in.

**Uzi:** Do you take constructive criticism?

**J:** No, only cash or credit.

**N:** So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

**V:** We're chopsticks!

**N:** Well... that's cute!

**N:** Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

**J:** No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

**N:** My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

**Thad:** My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

**Uzi:** My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

**Lizzy:** My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

**Uzi:** What's wrong with you?

**J:** Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

**Uzi:** Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?

**V:** Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.

**N:** It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.

**J:** Rock also defeats baby.

**Doll:** Я от природы смешной, потому что моя жизнь — это шутка. (I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.)

**J, making coffee:** This is going to fix everything.

**V:** You know, Uzi, you are the sun in my life.

**Uzi:** Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

**V:** Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

**V:** I’m never donating oil ever again.

**V:** The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another!

**V:** ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?

**Tessa:** If we lose, you’re out of the will.

**V:** I was in the will?

**V:** How does one turn their emotions off?

**Uzi:** Okay, so first go to settings.

**Uzi:** I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.

**V:** No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

**Lizzy:** Okay, two person huddle.

**Doll:** Невозможно ютиться вдвоём. Это просто объятия. (You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.)

**V:** Bye J! Bye Uzi! Bye Lizzy! Bye N! Bye J!

**Uzi:** You said ‘bye J’ twice.

**V:** I like J.

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*

**V:** Rude.

**J:** That's fair.

**Uzi:** Not again.

**Lizzy:** Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

**V:** Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

**V:** I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!

**J:** V, that's PTSD.

**V:** Well please don’t let J do anything stupid…

**Uzi:** Stupid by my standards or yours?

**V:**

**V:** Stupid by my mother’s standards.

**Uzi:** Smart. J will live longer.

**J:** There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

**V:** I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting*

**V:** *walks in and sits on J’s lap*

**The Squad:** …

**N:** Why are you sitting there?

**V:** There were no free seats

**Uzi:** But we made sure there was enough room for-

**J:** *hugs V tightly* There are no free seats.

**V, trying to impress J:** I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

**N:** They turned it off and back on again!

**J:** Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

**J:** Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

**Lizzy:** Truth or dare?

**V:** Truth!

**Lizzy:** Do you-

**J:** I dare you to kiss me.

**V:** *kisses J*

**Lizzy, to Uzi:** They said “truth”, right?

Squad reactions to being called straight:

**V:** The fuck, no I'm not.

**J:** Excuse the hell out of you?

**Lizzy:** Ding dong, you are wrong!

**Thad:** Who told you that? And why did they lie? For i am bi.

**N:** What?

**Doll:** *punches the person*

**Uzi:** At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.

**N:** My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

**Doll:** You’re a horrible person!

**V:** Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.

**N:** Don't go to the pod.

**V:** Why?

**N:** I saw a spider.

**V:** Well, did you kill it?

**N:** It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...

**V:** My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

46 notes · View notes

callmelittlebuttercup · 5 months

Text

Peace Offerings Pt.5

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Chapter Summary: Reader and Joel meet brothers Sam and Henry in an unconventional way. Despite pushback from Joel, the four team up and make their way through the tunnels. Once the group makes it out, their faced with another obstacle: Kathleen. Joel and Reader are forced to pick each other back up when their travels with Sam and Henry come to a tragic end.

Series Warnings: Slow burn, 18+ Minors DNI, Age gap (Reader is 34, Joel is 56.) Sexual Themes, Violence, Injuries (depictions of blood, bruising, broken bones), Cursing, Grumpy!Joel, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)

Chapter Warnings: Canon typical suicide, suicidal ideation, claustrophobia, symptoms of a panic attack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Five

My eyes shot open and the hair on my neck raised at the sound of glass crunching. I stayed still and eyed the figures approaching us. With the dull light coming in from the windows, I could just barely make out the figures of a taller man, and a small child. The figures got closer and closer, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I sat up and gripped my knife in my hand before calling out, “Don’t fucking move.” The man froze and put his hand up against the kid’s chest. My eyes shot to Joel. I was surprised to see that he hadn’t been woken up, then I realized he’d turned over onto his other side.

The two pulled guns out of their pockets. The taller boy was aiming at me and the small one was aiming at Joel. “Shit.” I whispered. “Your man dangerous?” The tall one asked, his voice shaking with anxiety. I looked at Joel. “Harmless.” I said, as I looked up to the young man. “I don’t fucking believe you.” He shook the gun in my face and I flinched, “Fuck. Wake him up and we can talk.” I shook my head, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Look, we have a little food and some clothing in our packs. That’s all. You can take it and get out of here unharmed. Best option in my opinion.” The man looked to the little boy, and moved his one hand, making out symbols. Sign language. He looked back at me, “We don’t want your things. We want to help you.”

I didn’t know what to do. His offer for help was confusing to me. How did he know we were in trouble? If anything it seemed like he needed help, especially having a little boy to take care of. There’s no telling how Joel would react to me accepting their help without his approval. Plus I was already teetering onto his bad side.

The man’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, “C’mon lady!” I put my hands up and stood up very slowly. “He’s hard of hearing, can I get closer to him?” I asked. He nodded quickly and shifted his eyes to the sleeping figure. I cautiously walked over to him, and stood above him a safe distance away. “Joel.” I said. Nothing. “Joel!” I raised my voice and he shot up, first looking at me and then whipping his head around to comprehend the situation. “Eyes on me. You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you.” The young man demanded, “We wanna help you.” Joel’s eyes were wild, but he answered calmly, “Okay.” The boy shifted on his feet, “Um okay… so if I lower my gun, we didn’t hurt you. So you don’t hurt us. That’s how this works right?” Joel responded in the same tone, “That’s right.” Panic filled the boy’s voice, “That’s a wierd fuckin’ tone man..” I swallowed, “That’s just the way he sounds. He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him he’s okay.” I breathed. Joel paused for a moment, keeping his intimidating stare planted on the man before saying in the same tone, “Everything is great.” I sighed angrily and reprimanded him for once, “Joel!” The man, still holding the gun to me shouted, “Fuck! Okay… listen, I’m gonna trust you.” And signed something to the little boy across from him. There was an exchange between them, and then he continued, “But if either of you guys try anything….. yeah?” I nodded, and he gestured to Joel who gave a small nod before asking, “Can I sit up?” The man nodded, “Yeah. Slow.” Joel raised his back off of the makeshift cot, and questioned again, “Who are you?” The man shifted on his feet again, still not lowering his gun. “My name is Henry. That’s my brother Sam. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City.” Joel’s face dropped and so did my stomach, “Although right now, my guess is you’re running a close second.”

Once the negotiations simmered down, I offered the boys some food from my pack while ignoring the look Joel gave me. We sat around the lantern and ate quietly. “Where’d you get these?” Henry asked, referring to the sandwiches we’d split up and scarfed down. I waited for Joel to speak, but received nothing. “From a friend of his.” I answered. There was another moment of glum silence before Joel wrapped up the rest of his sandwich and leaned over to offer it to the little boy. My heart fluttered at the gesture. Maybe this would be okay. “He says thank you. I’m guessing you don’t have much so this means a lot.” Henry said after the boy signed something to him.

Now that there wasn’t a gun to my head, I told the boys my name and watched Henry sign it to Sam. We all looked at Joel who was absentmindedly chewing. I slapped his knee with the back of my hand and he jumped, his eyes shifting between me and the boys. “I’m Joel. Look, you ate. we didn’t kill each other. Let’s call this a win-win and move on.” I rolled my eyes and watched as Henry wrung his hands together. “Well, I’m betting… that y’all came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out.”

Daylight came, shining through the ginormous windows of the conference room we’d moved to so Joel and Henry could draw out a plan. I sat with Sam and got to know him a little more by exchanging his little drawing pad he had wrapped around his neck back and forth. My heart melted from the kid’s sweet smile every time he wrote something and showed it to me, then waited for my response. As I interacted with Sam, I still tried to keep my ear in the two men’s conversation. I couldn’t make out much except for “tunnels” and “rats” which didn’t sound like much fun.

After a few more moments of giggling and talking to Sam, there was a light tap on my shoulder. I instinctively jumped and turned to see who it was. Joel was standing behind me with his arms crossed. He nodded his head towards the hallway before saying, “Come with me.” I wrote “Be right back!” on Sam’s notepad and handed it to him with a warm smile before standing up and following Joel into the hallway. He stopped a few feet away from the door, making sure we wouldn’t be heard. I stood there with my arms folded over my chest and shot him an expectant look. He cleared his throat before speaking, “The kid claims he knows his way through the tunnels under the city. Promises he can get us out with little to no risks.” I made a pfffft sound and repeated, “Little to no risks?” He nodded, and crossed his arms, “I know. Sounds like a load of bullshit. But he insists.” I stared at the floor, mulling through my thoughts. The sound of tunnels in a world like today’s did not sound enticing in the least bit. The thought actually made me feel lightheaded. “Do we have any other choice?” I asked. “I can’t think of a better plan.” he shrugged.

We packed up our things and began our journey. We snuck through a few buildings before coming to the entrance of the tunnels. Henry opened the door and started in, but I paused. My feet felt like they were glued to the ground and my legs had turned to static. I heard Joel say my name, but I just stared into the door and down the long, dark tunnel. A hand on my shoulder jolted me back to reality, and I turned to Joel. “You okay?” Joel whispered. I nodded and pried my feet off the floor to walk through the large metal door.

The tunnel was cold and had a strange, unsettling smell. Our footsteps and the sound of something I desperately hoped was water dripping echoed. I held my flashlight tight as I followed Henry through every twist and turn. Our group had been arranged into a very specific line. Henry first, Sam, me, and then Joel. My anxiety about being trapped in a tunnel was slightly relieved with the knowledge that he was behind me, but the place still started to feel suffocating after being down there long enough. I tried to steady my breathing, and dug my nails into my palms to stay alert. I must have slowed down my pace because I felt Joel’s hand pushing lightly into my back. “Come on, we’re almost there.” He whispered. His words grounded me, and I was able to keep myself together the rest of the way.

We emerged from the tunnels long after nightfall, and began to walk down a suburban street that was littered with abandoned cars. We stayed quiet and moved swiftly down the street, being sure to keep our bodies low enough to not be seen over the cars. Just as I thought we were making it through with ease, a bullet whizzed past my head. I threw myself to the ground and rolled to press my back up against a car. Joel was next to me, but Henry and Same had split over to another car across the way. I looked at Joel, his eyes were wide as he peaked over the hood to get a glimpse of where the bullets were coming from. He knelt back down to face me. “They’re coming from that house up there. I’m going to go try and take him out. You get Sam and Henry as far away from here as possible and I’ll find you.” He said as he grabbed his gun out of his backpack. My chest tightened at the thought of him leaving us, “Joel…” I said, fear tightening my throat. He looked up from his gun and saw my fear-stricken form. He leaned in and placed his hands on my arms, “Do you trust me?” His brown eyes searched my face for an answer. I closed my eyes, took a hefty breath, and nodded. He nodded and squeezed my arms before standing and sprinting off to sneak to the house.

After taking another deep breath, I stayed low to the ground and scrambled to meet Sam and Henry behind the car they were squatting behind. Henry looked confused, “Where’s Joel?” I pulled my gun out of my bag while answering, “He’s going to try to take out the sniper in the house. I’ll lead us out of here and he’ll meet us.” He nodded and took Sam’s hand. We scrambled from car to car, moving slowly, but still making progress. We took a longer pause behind a yellow car to catch our breaths when all of a sudden we heard the sound of an engine roaring down the street. Henry and I stared in horror at the giant tank motoring towards us. I shielded my eyes from the light as the vehicle approached. “We gotta move.” I yelled before sprinting through a line of cars. Sam and Henry were on my heels, but we were forced to drop down behind another car when the trucks barreled through the cars and a line of bullets sprayed down from the house. They weren’t aiming for us anymore which told me Joel had made it.

I didn’t have time to celebrate as a group of men with guns surrounded the three of us. I raised my hands above my head, and the boys did the same. “Henry!” A woman called out. I could only assume it was Kathleen. She appeared in front of the tank, her petite frame and soft features were even less intimidating than her voice was. “Remember me?” She asked condescendingly as she approached. I looked at Henry, trying to get a sense of their relationship, and from his panicked face, I concluded it was not good. “Please. I’ll surrender if you promise to leave them alone.” Henry breathed. Kathleen shrugged and trained her gun onto the little boy. What she said next made my skin crawl, “Well kids die, Henry. They die all the time. You think the world revolves around him? That he’s worth everything? Well this is what happens when you fuck with fate.” Her gaze traveled towards me, and I froze as her eyes met mine. “And you. I have someone who’s been wanting to see you.” She turned to the side to let a man walk in front of her. My chest tightened as I realized who it was. The man from the attack in the city stood there with his lip curled into a sickening grin. I shot back a menacing stare as I prepared myself to fight him yet again. “Do whatever you want to her. But him, he’s mine.” the woman demanded.The man nodded and began to walk towards me but stopped short as a huge rumbling sound filled the air. The group of people turned around and I strained my neck to catch a glimpse.

Horror numbed my body as I watched the ground crumble underneath the weight of the tank, causing a horde of clickers to come flooding out. Seeing opportunity, I grabbed Sam’s hand and began to sprint towards the house. Joel was attempting to shoot any infected that got close to us, but there were too many. We made it a few feet before the horde caught up to us and we were forced to hide under a car. I pulled in panicked breaths as I thought of our next move. Suddenly, Henry began to scream as he was pulled out. I grabbed onto his hand and tried to play tug of war with the clicker over him, but it was too strong, and pulled me out with him. I jumped to my feet and slammed my knife into the infected’s head. Henry shook its limp hands off of his leg. “You okay?” I asked him, scanning over for any bites or scratches. He shook his head and pulled his brother from under the truck. There was a lull in the waves of infected as they became preoccupied with destroying Kathleen’s people.

The boys and I were nearing the house when the woman called Henry’s name again. She was standing on the hill, just feet away from us, pointing her gun towards Henry. “It’s over Henry. Surrender now.” She called over the chaos ensuing around us. I saw her hand tighten around her gun. I was ready to push Henry out of the way, but was pleasantly surprised to see an infected little girl launch her small body onto Kathleen. I pushed Henry and yelled, “Go!” We sprinted to the side of the house, finally escaping the hell scape of the street. I began to do what I promised Joel, and ushered the boys further into the woods, but a familiar voice caused me to stop. It was Joel.

Relief washed over me as he came into view. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern. Sam threw his small body towards him and wrapped his arms around Joel’s waist. He looked at the boy, a pained expression on his face, but then reluctantly patted him on the back with one hand. I let a small smile spread across my face at the fondness Sam had developed for Joel in such a short time. I found myself having the urge to hug him too, but I quickly pushed that thought from my mind as Joel pushed ahead of us and began to lead us into the woods.

We came across a motel for the night which Joel and Henry cleared before letting Sam and I in. Henry was in the other room, tucking Sam into bed, and I sat in the living room on the couch next to Joel. I’d decided to change the bandage on my hand since I had a moment. I’d been too preoccupied to take proper care of it the past few days. “So who was up there?” I asked absentmindedly. “Some old guy. I tried to negotiate, but you know how that goes.” He said solemnly. I nodded, “Now you get why I like to take action.” I teased lightheartedly. He shook his head, the side of his lip twitching. I looked at him. He was exhausted. His eyes trained on the floor, and his dark hair ruffled atop his head. I studied the patchy beard that inhabited his strong jawline. I’d never noticed the small amount of gray sprinkled into it, showing his wisdom. I quickly shifted my eyes off of him when I noticed myself leaning towards his figure. What was I doing? This man wanted nothing to do with me, and here I was admiring his features. I sucked in a breath and stood up. His eyes followed me as I did so. “I’m going to get some sleep.” I mumbled while avoiding eye contact. “G’night.” He grunted. I nodded and walked over to the bed across the room, stretching my aching back before I laid down onto the soft, dusty mattress.

The next morning, Henry, Joel, and I sat in the main room of the motel, silently mulling last night’s situation around in our heads. We had tended to our wounds from the fights as we waited for Sam to wake up. “Alright, we said we’d let the kid sleep as long as he wanted but it’s been long enough.” Joel said impatiently. I looked at Henry who was elevating his leg. He’d twisted his ankle when he was running from the hoard. I stood up, “Ok if I get him?” Henry nodded. I turned and walked towards the door, opening it slowly. Sam was sitting up on the bed, staring vacantly out the window. “Oh, you’re up! Good morning silly goose.” I cooed. He turned towards me and immediately bared his teeth. My stomach dropped. He then jumped up and lunged towards me. I stumbled backwards as his body made impact with mine, and my panicked screams filled the air has I pushed to keep his mouth as far away from me as possible. Joel and Henry jumped up, Joel immediately pointing a gun at Sam, but Henry threatened him. “Then you better fuckin’ do something.” I heard Joel say. Sam continued to attempt to bite me but I kept pushing and kicking as panicked tears streamed down my face, “Sam please!” I begged. I knew he was gone, that he’d been taken over by the cordyceps, but some delusional part of me thought he might’ve been playing and would just snap out of it at any moment. “HENRY.” Joel screamed, and a shot rang out. Sam’s body flew off of mine from the impact of the bullet. I laid there, shaking, unwilling to look at the now lifeless child, and turned my head towards the two men. Henry still held the gun and had a vacant look in his eyes. He first pointed it at Joel, then me while repeating “What did I do?” He continued to aim the gun at me and I shakily raised my hands above my head. “Henry, get the gun off of her.” Joel pleaded in a calming voice, “Just put the gun down, you’ll be okay.” Henry stared for just a moment before turning the gun to his own head. “HENRY, NO!” Joel and I’s voices filled the air before the gun went off one last time.

I sat huddled on the floor with my arms wrapped around my knees, my eyes flitting between the two bodies. Joel stood with his chest heaving, eyes doing the same as mine. No matter how hard I tried to keep the sobs from escaping my throat, the grief was too powerful. I pressed my hand against my mouth as they came in between desperate heaves. Joel hesitated, but then came to kneel beside me. His hand hovered above my back, and then I felt the warmth of it press against me. I looked up at him, he held that same look of pity in his eyes.

I barely knew the man, but I knew that I trusted him. He ensured my safety an uncountable amount of times already. As I sat there on the floor in between the two, sweet, brave, and now dead boys, I needed a shoulder to cry on. Joel was there, though it was stiff and unmoving, it was warm and let me know I wasn’t alone. I sat up off of him and sniffled, “How did we not know he was infected? We should’ve checked.” His hand didn’t leave my back as he remained next to me, “Wouldn’t have changed his fate.” Joel grunted, “N’ Henry would’ve killed himself some other time.” I looked at him through teary eyes, “Why would he do that? In front of us?” I sobbed. Joel pressed his lips together and shifted his eyes to the floor, “Death is less painful than living after losing someone you love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note:

Thank you for reading!! I'm sorry you had to endure the Henry and Sam heartbreak again :(

Next Part Here! | Masterlist

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kristlewrites · 1 year

Text

“Slow it down, Make it bouncy”

CW: Lactation kink, Sub Zoro, Nicknames (mommy, papa, baby, sweetie),Smut, Family AU, Titty fucking, Oral (m!receiving), mommy kink (jus in case)

PAIRING: Zoro x Blk!FemReader

WC: 1.1K

🫧🗯️: I had so much fun wrting this one omg, im always weak for a flustered man. anyways, tyyy SO MUCH for the support ive been receving on all my fics! it means so much to me. so pls enjoy this and ngl i was falling for reader a lil bit like hold awn. Also going thru some of my previous work I do realize that i need to do a little proof read lmao..i apolgise if theres any errors on this.

MINORS DNI

(bounce)

You and your husband have been terrorized by your little infant, crying, screaming, and throwing tantrums. It was almost impossible to get her to calm down, but when she did it wasn’t for long. When she was asleep you would try your best to quickly tidy up all her toys and her highchair just so you can have some peace of mind. Zoro was also a great help too, when It came to take care of the baby. He would give her bubble baths, feed her, and keep her entertained while you're trying to catch up with some sleep. Even though with all the pain and frustrations you can’t bring yourself to be mad at the situation at all.

But due to all of that you and Zoro had barely any time to even sleep in the same bed?!? As you were busy taking care of the baby, Zoro was also preoccupied with work. You guys had no time at all for each other! So you come up with a brilliant idea, you drop off your little baby girl at your parents house for the weekend, and clean up the house. You take a nice steamy shower and put on your most seductive lingerie you own and waited.

Alerted by the sounds of the keys clicking, you stay in the bedroom awaiting your husband.

Leisurely, Zoro twists the bedroom door knob flinching at the provocative sight. You laying in bed, in a too tight lingerie laying down. You get up immediately and greet your husband. “Hey baby, how was work?” you ask, giving him a fat kiss on his cheek.

“Uh It was fine” He says clearly startled by your appearance. “Where's Kamora?” He asks scanning the room.

“I dropped her off at my parents, and trust me they are elated to see their granddaughter” You reply tapping him on his chest.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to have some us time, we've barely had any time for the both of us, alone.” You pout “Plus I wanna treat you, since you've been working so hard lately” you say trailing you acrylic down his chest. “What do you say papa?”

Zoro positioned on the edge of your bed with you on your knees. You drag both his pants and his boxers down, and you are met with his throbbing dick. Marveling at it in all its glory you reach for the base and spit on it using it as a makeshift lubricant. Swiftly you start stroking in a vertical motion going up and down on his large cock. You can hear Zoro moan above, “You like it like this?, honey” you whisper but just loud enough that Zoro can hear. Nodding his head you hear him let out a small whimper “Yeaah let it all out for mama” You grin, with one hand still stroking, you bring your breast wrapping them around his dick.

Bouncing up and down you envelop his dick within your large titties, going nice and slow. Using your hands you usher up your tits, swallowing up his poor penis. You feel it twitching, “Baby are you gonna cum?” You tease, pecking his tip. “It’s okay, cum all over mamas titties” and as if it was on command zoro came all over your chest. “It felt good didn’t it?” You ask, letting out a small giggle..

’Mhmm’ Zoro moaned.

Kissing his cock, you go down slowly leaving no area untouched and leaving salvia everywhere. Licking upwards you insert his tip between your lips. Gradually you admit his whole cock into your mouth. At a faster pace you start rocking back and forth, wrapping your warm tongue around his dick, taking it in so sloppily. Using your hands you enfold the rest of his fat cock and twist around in a fluid motion.You continue this for another thirty seconds until you feel zoro's dick tremor in your mouth. With no warning, you feel zoro's warm sticky cum lodges in your throat. Releasing his cock with a smooth ‘pop’ sound you smile, “Oh my god baby, you are so sensitive. Have you missed me?” You muse grinning upwards looking at your husband's flustered face.

“yes” Zoro shyly replies

“You are so cute papa” you marvel while rising up towards his face, leaning towards his lips and kissing him. He then opens his mouth and enters , bit by bit your tongue enters and works its way onto his. You push him down carefully so that now you are still on top of him. Still kissing, you bite down on his bottom lip and he lets out a small whimper.

You crawl down, now onto his pelvis region, you sensually remove your lingerie displaying your leaking cunt. You climb onto his dick, letting the slick from your pussy help ease it in. You gasp from sensation, continuing to position yourself upon his dick. You grab Zoro's still hands and situate them on your hips. “Cmon baby you can't expect me to take all this by myself” you pout a lil teasing zoro. Hearing your pleas he strengthens his grip on your hips and assists down his dick.

“Ah” you cry out, feeling his dick all up in your vagina. Firmly you press your hands against his abdomen using it as support and start bouncing. You start going up and slowly, but once you get more comfortable you start going in a faster motion. Adjusting into smooth tempo, your ass smacking against his pelvis noises filling up the room, you whine from the movement. Feeling his dick sliding up and down your cunt. Wailing from how good it feels to be so full. Mesmerized, zoro studies your breasts as they follow the rhythm of your bounce. Guiding his fingers to your nipples, squeezing them. Milk spurts out.

“Mmm” You wail “You can't do that, it's for kamora sweetie” You say gasping, exhausted. Your legs are sore from the endless bouncing. Your hands still placed on his stomach, you pick up the pace, going faster. You feel Zoro squirming underneath you. “Cum in me, i want another one please.” You plead, leading one of your fingers towards your tummy where his dick bulge is displayed. This drives him crazy and he shoots it up your pussy, painting your walls white. Your orgasm comes flooding down just right after. “Agh” you squeal out, collapsing down on Zoro's chest.

“Not too much, what about kamora?” you whine, gently tapping the side of zoro's face. Latched onto your right nipple draining all you have. You guys are laying down under yalls sheets, zoro as the little spoon indulging himself into your boobs.

“But it's so sweet mommy” Zoro sulks, leaving a small saliva trail on your titty.

“Well when you say it like that, only a little bit more ok?”

Zoro nods, and resumes sucking. Whilst you comb your hot pink acrylics through his short stubby minty hair

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indecenthoney · 7 months

Text

"Under the Influence"

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Girls like her were a dime a dozen. In a constant foul mood, due to their boyfriends. Believe me. I love to help. I've said my fair share of advice, but somehow the problem never really subsides. And so the cycle continues. Watching them guzzle down can after can; bottle after bottle. Confiding in someone rather than discussing it with the real person who needs to hear it the most.

"Hahaha... Uhm... I think you should like... slow down a bit... I mean you do know how you get when you're drunk... I don't really wanna take care of yo-... Aaaand you're opening another one... Great... One of those nights, huh? Alright, I warned you..."

Trying to communicate with an incoherent idiot who constantly complains about their dissatisfaction. And somehow. SOMEHOW getting caught in the crossfire because a small percentage of men somehow represent the whole population. Well, aren't I appreciated? I gave it the benefit of the doubt that it was the booze talking. But you couldn't blame me for opening a bottle myself. In her distress, she takes her place on my lap trying to find some warmth of solace in my proximity. My eyes slowly wander; peaking into her shirt that was so slightly lifted, exposing her panties. Only to be brought back by her sudden wails. Letting out a big sigh, I placed my chilled bottle between the gap of her thighs. My mind elsewhere even as she flinched. Not to bother myself with the details, my fingers slowly crept down her hair repeating the same mantra I've always done.

"If he wanted to... He would... Any guy would be lucky to have you... You're just... a bit dumb sometimes and you don't know what's good for you or not... I understand that you want to be happy... and he makes you happy so you don't want to give up just yet... but there's just a limit to these things... Listen... You would change for him... but ask yourself... Would he change for you? Exactly... Shhhh... Shhhhh it's okay... I'm here... Honestly... You're just a silly girl... Don't blame yourself... My brainless... hopeless... bestie... What a needy thing you are... It's funny you know... What would your pathetic little boyfriend think? All cuddled up in some random guy's arms..."

I guess after all the trouble she put me through tonight; a little payback was in order. Shades of red paint her face as my whispers filled her head. A slight unease displayed through her fidgets and shallow breaths. The chilled bottle pressed along the fabric of her panties. Pulling her in by the hips as a means to cut off any and all escape. Causing her to further ride up against the bottle. A temptuous ache begins to fester. Her head resting on the nook of my neck. Breathing heavily whilst the bottle grinds into her. The slightest of movements made it all the worse. There I was, ignorant of my own actions. Perhaps in my drunk stupor, the only thing I thought I was doing, was teasing her. So in the sudden silence, my curiosity got the best of me. What was I to do, but press forward?

"Why so quiet, hun? Did I hit a nerve? What? You don't like it when I talk about your boyfriend like that? Right... But here you are... Finding peace in another man... Oh? Someone's upset... Keep looking at me like that and I just might do something about it... That's it... Soften that look, princess... If you know what's good for you... Well, aren't you the sweetest little thing? I could just eat you up... What's wrong? You can't be fucking serious... Getting off at a time like this? On my bottle? Of all things..."

An intense look in her eyes followed every subtle action. My hand placed along the neck of the bottle for a better hold before further toying with her. The bottom edge of my drink brushing against her clit in repeated strokes. Flick and grind. There unholy noises emanated from soaked panties and hushed moans. Seeing what little control she had over the situation fade away brought a smile to my face. A sort of pleasure brought on by tension. And tension brought on by pleasure. There she was, my best friend, or well what remains. A devoted, drooling mutt at my disposal.

"Any further and this would be cheating, no? You're a good girl... Just a little dumb... I'll tell you what... We can forget this ever happened... clean up... and go about our day... Or..."

Eyes gaze longingly at possibilities unknown. Wanting more. No. Needing more. Waiting patiently for my next move. And to her surprise, my cock on full display despite my offer. Positioning my member in a questionable manner; wedged between her panties and bare pussy. Twitching idly awaiting a decision. Each twitch and throb pulling her deeper and deeper into temptation. Certainly, a fall from grace as she ruts eagerly into me. Mindless of any repercussions. Once again looking deeply into my eyes for approval.

"Hm? Hahaha... You do know that... I won't understand a damn thing if all you do is whimper... Say something... C'mon... You're a big girl, use your words... Oh? You want me to put it in? Well then beg for it... Mhm... I want to hear you say it... Admit to me how much of a desperate slut you are... What a filthy... dirty... cum rag you'll be for me... Please? Oh, hun... That's not good enough... You're gonna have to do better than that... As a matter of fact, I want you to work for it... You heard me... Fuck yourself... Your boyfriend may treat you all nice and sweet... but if you're going to be pillow princess about it... Then I might as well put you to work first... Let's see those fragile little legs of yours give out, yeah?"

Leading her to the couch, she timidly places herself atop me. Legs spread and panties pushed to the side. The tip of my cock tracing along the slit of her throbbing cunt. Her actions are only described by one word. Hesitation. And one word describing mine. Impatience. Bucking my hips, my member finds itself deep inside of her in a matter of moments. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head; completely brain-dead from the sensation of my cock filling her to the brim. I believed she needed some sort of motivation to keep things moving. And to my surprise, an opportunity vibrated on the far side of the couch. Her boyfriend. He must've worried sick. Four missed calls. I should do her a favor and pick it up for her.

"You're boyfriend's calling... Shhhh... Hey hey hey... Be normal... You wouldn't want him to find out now, would you? Exactly... Now if you don't start moving those hips... I'll do it myself... But? But nothing... You'll do exactly as I tell you or I'll have your boyfriend hear how much a needy slut you are... Understand? Good girl... That's it, hun... Fuck yourself stupid on my cock... Mhm... Does it feel good? Yeah? He's calling for you, you know? Speak up... But don't you dare forget to move those hips... Hop on it, slut... What an obedient fuck bunny you are..."

It was honestly sweet, hearing her boyfriend apologize so earnestly about his flaws. It could bring a tear to your eye. If only she wasn't making such a slutty face right now. Grinding those hips against my cock with a little bounce in her step. My thumb running circles around her needy clit. Tongue sticking out as she pumps herself full of me. I wasn't even sure if she was saying "I love you" to me or him at this point.

"Mm... F-fuck... That's it... That's a good girl... You know what you're good for... Such a disgusting... filthy... mmph... whore... Hahhaha... Your cunt was made to please men... and you know it... You're not even listening to a damn thing your boyfriend is saying, are you? You sadistic fuck... You don't even care... Poor thing... It's okay Mr. Boyfriend... I'll punish this cheating slut for you..."

Nearing my climax, I threw her off my lap before pinning both her hands causing her to drop her phone. Mounting her into a partial mating press as I lifted one of her legs to her chest. Fucking into her even after my climax had reached its peak. Continually rutting in the most animalistic way possible. No pretty words. No temptation. Just the need to fuck. Who cared if we got caught? Who cared if she got pregnant? If her little boyfriend has a problem, I'll kill him. And I'll fuck her again and again and again-

"Mmm... You look absolutely spent... Hahahah... and won't you look at that? You made the right call on hanging up... I would've fucked you regardless if he was hearing us or not... That's my princess... Such a good job... Let's keep this a secret, yeah? I look forward to our next session..."

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Drink responsibly,

Honey

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