#i keep going to say angry mean stuff then deleting it

[sensitivegoblin]

..

[stardustlixie]

hyunjin, the heartthrob

[pairing: fem!dom!reader x sub!hyunjin]

[warnings: smut, degradation (like a lot), mean reader, lowkey pathetic hyunjin, dumbassery, confusion about feelings, angry sex (kinda?), unprotected penetration (don't do this), choking, hair pulling, bondage, cunnilingus, light slapping (like twice)]

[REPOST FROM MY DELETED SMUT BLOG]

[author's note: i can't do this anymore, the grip he has on my brain is insane. this is kinda weird?? read at your own risk lmao, not responsible for the brain damage, pt.2 might be written?]

hyunjin as the type of guy to be the uni heartthrob annoying you for no apparent reason. he keeps following you around, trying to talk to you, even tho your replies make it quite clear that you want him gone. you're the quiet, scary and academic type and he's the loud, funny and popular type. the entire campus questions why he's following someone like you around, but they're afraid of saying anything because his friends always keeping lurking, glaring down anyone who tries to question him.

even tho his friend group looks quite intimidating in the distance, they're just a bunch of dorks. and so is he. but with a massive crush on you. he finds you quite scary tho, your almost neutral expression and no bullshit attitude intimidating most people that come your way. he saw just a glimpse of your kindness once, when you baby-talked to your friend's cat, he almost lost it. but he mostly sees your other side, the undefeatable one that shows in the debates in your sociology class that he sneaks in to watch, the mean one that you once used to make someone cry when they targeted your bestfriend.

he gets off to that meaner side of you, that's his dirty little fantasy. he wants to be degraded by that side and be used for your amusement while he's unable to do something to help himself, and your softer side to soothe him afterwards.

but that just stays a fantasy.

until..

you're in the library one weekend, just to return some books and pick up new ones for your research, you walk out to the corridors to see none other, than hwang fucking hyunjin. he wasn't expecting to see you there, but he bursts into a smile, pulling his attention from whatever he had in his hands.

"hey, yn!" he waves at you, you shove your stuff into your bag and walk the opposite of his direction, also opposite to where you need to go. you can't do this right now.

it's not like you hate him, you think he's cute, you're beginning to get used to him following you, maybe you'd even give him a chance on a good day. but your day has been shitty enough as is. you can't bring yourself to interact with him just now.

"heyy, you didn't wave back." he jogs up to you and starts walking alongside you. oh how you wish he'd just be his own way for once.

he doesn't like your lack of reaction. you're not even sparing him a glace!

"come ooonnn, stop ignoring me!" he pouts at you with a whine all too dramatic.

"leave me alone, hyunjin" you hiss at him. you really don't wanna say something worse, but it's like he trying to........ provoke you? he's being much more pushy than he usually is, and there's no one in the corridors on a godddam weekend and you're very fucking close to snapping.

"ynnn!! pay attention to me!" he whines again, really wanting to provoke you. he's not blind, he notices you're not in a mood to be messed with. but a tiny, little parts of him wants to push you further, to maybe make you snap at him.

and when he crosses the line and touches your waist, you do.

you snap.

pushing him to nearest wall with some force, drawing his breath out of his lungs. you pin him there and your anger flows out, in sharp, hurtful words.

"the fuck do you think you were doing? what makes you think you can touch me? is this another dare from your group of fuckboys? or are you just a little attention whore who thinks he's entitled to everyone?"

you didn't mean a word you said, your anger was making up stuff on it's own, but he was flushed, a wild red on his face, that's when your gaze dropped to the floor, looking at whatever he dropped when you shoved him. you lean down to pick them up.

pictures. of you. not too many, not pictures taken by invading your privacy, but a few snaps of you in the corridors, or the canteen, or the library. times when you were fully aware he was there, from that one polaroid phase he had, he used to carry that thing around for a full two weeks.

the pictures flip something in you, you take your chances with him. you wanna test him, you know it's risky, but your brain isn't weighing it very well currently.

"god, hyunjin. look at you-" your voice drops an octave without you even realising it, and it does things to him that can't say out loud. you wave the photographs at him.

"-taking pictures of me like a little creep? so filthy. following me around like a desperate little slut. were you hoping to be discovered?"

you didn't expect him to be as affected as he was. breath uneven from your jump scare a second ago, ears red, with some of redness bleeding into his face, still affixed in the position you pinned him in. your leg shifts between his legs and his boner brushes against your thigh. what a surprise. he likes this. he looks away from you, but you turn his face to you with your forefinger, him gulping at the action. adorable.

"you really are an attention whore aren't you? following me around like that? clicking pictures of me? bothering me and hoping I'll take notice? pathetic." you tsk at him, he looks on the verge of tears but his boner says a different story, you experimentally press you leg over it, recieving a small whimper in return. yup, he's definitely enjoying this.

"you got hard just by me yelling and shoving you huh?"

he's torn, his brain sending him mixed signals, he's embarrassed, he wants to go back to his dorm and hide and never show his face to the world ever again. but he likes this, part of him wants you to humiliate him more, maybe do things to him that he won't be able to forget. and a part of him is even more embarrassed at the route his thoughts are taking.

you're not thinking straight. he's hot, you shouldn't be doing this, but some predatory instinct inside you wants to. you use him as a catalyst to get your mind off of whatever has been bothering you. it probably shouldn't be a big deal, he wants this anyway.

"tell me hyunjin, do you really think i don't notice? you think i didn't notice you staring at me when I was with Lin and her cat? do you really think i didn't see you when I had to drive that asshole away from her? you think i don't notice how you sneak into sociology and watch me from the corner? i do. how will you explain all that huh?"

fuck. he didn't think you noticed. he really has no explanation. he's fucked. you could report him, or worse, out him infront of everyone, you even have the photos with you. he should have thought this through. he's done for. he's pretty sure you're gonna report him-

"i'm sorry! please don't-"

"make up for it."

"w-what?" he's pulled out of his trance.

"well, since you've behaved like a pathetic slut, make up for it by actually being one. maybe then i'll forgive you"

he gulps, he would do it without second thought but he doesn't know if you're kidding or mocking him. he even has no idea how to say it, so he just sighs and nods.

"that's what i thought. follow me."

he follows you on shaky legs as you lead him outside of campus, and the next thing he knows, he's being pinned to the door of your apartment while you unbuckle his belt and whip it out of it's place. he has no idea what to expect when you detach yourself from him and seat yourself on the couch.

"come here." you order and he follows, walking over to you.

"strip." you say, he feels exposed under your intense gaze, even with you sitting down on the low couch while he stands in front of you, he feels like he's on display. he can't say he doesn't like it tho. so he puts on a show for you, peeling of each piece of his outfit one by one, jacket, followed by his shirt, then his pants, all in quite sultry a manner before he stops, only his boxers on, and looks at you uncertainly.

"off." is all you need to say before he's kicking them away, his erection springing free. you look at him for a good while, soaking in details of his body, pretty neck and collarbones, lean arms and torso and such a slutty waist, further down to his painfully hard dick, red and leaking, body supported by strong and pretty thighs. and for a guy like him, he has a big dick.

he's aware of your intense stare on him, suddenly feeling very conscious of his own appearance.

you get up from your place, his belt still in one hand, the other going to his shoulder, making him shiver before it glides to his back as you make your way behind him, gripping his hips and pressing your front to his back, as if to tease, making his breath hitch. you bring his wrist his wrists together behind his back and tie them together with his own belt.

"i'm giving you a chance to back out, i'll throw those pictures away and you can walk out like this never happened. do you wanna stop?" you whisper into his ear.

"n-no."

"good, then kneel" you smirk, pushing him down onto his knees and resuming your place on the couch.

you take a moment to admire how pretty he looks like this, kneeling infront of you with his hands tied back, breath uneven and so disheveled. so, so pretty.

as you take your pants off, his eyes fly to your covered heat, cute. you can't help but slowly press your foot down onto his dick, drawing a pained moan out of him because he's been neglected for so long.

you part your thighs and your eyes are enough to order him to get to work. he shifts to you and licks a long stripe on top of your wetness before you shift your panties to the side. he can't help but drool at the sight.

he starts working immediately, licking and sucking like a man on a mission. and he's on a mission indeed, a mission to prove himself somehow, because he knows this is probably the only time this is happening and he wants to make you feel as good as possible, make you remember him, because he sure as hell will never forget this. and certainly never forget the sudden moan from you as his tongue laps at your clit, noticing you're the most sensitive there. he keeps that in the back of his mind as he sticks his tongue inside of you, quite literally making out with your cunt. your hand comes down to grip at his hair, drawing a moan that vibrates straight into your core.

his tongue moves in and out of you while his button nose touches your clit with each movement, he pulls his tongue out only to attach his mouth onto your clit enveloping it in warmth and sucking on it, making you pull stronger at his hair before he resumes his work inside of you.

he's too good at this, it doesn't help that it's been a long while since you last did anything sexual.

you push him further into yourself by his hair and he moans right into you, the vibrations bringing you awfully close to your high. you release a breathy curse which motivates him to speed up.

when you cum, it is with slight spasms, chasing down the delicious feeling as your thighs close around him, burying him into you, almost suffocating him, but he keeps going nonetheless.

you yank him back by the hair to look at his drenched face, he finally catches his breath, making his chest heave as he looks up at you with hooded eyes. you give his face a slap, not too hard, yet he only moans at the impact.

"you like being slapped, slut?"

"y-yes" he nods as well as he can with the grip you have in his hair. you slap him, the redness resulting just adding to the erotic look on his face.

"up." you instruct, he stumbles up onto his feet with a wince and you move to free his hands. his wrists are red, almost bruised by how hard he's pulled against the belt.

you lay back on the couch, beckoning him over.

"fuck me." you order. "if you can that is." you add after seeing the uncertainty on his face, he nods frantically.

"i c-can."

he says he can, but he melts the moment his dick enters you, he's too sensitive, having waited for so fucking long.

"feels so good. fuck." he moans into your ear at the feeling as he hovers over you. he starts to move, his length stretching you out and drawing heavy breaths out of you by the sheer size, his tip touches your g-spot without much effort, hitting it repeatedly as he starts moving.

his arms shake at your sides, everything becoming too overwhelming for some reason, your warmth wrapped around him, the stimulation suddenly making his head spin.

"f-fuck... " the poor boy is trembling, voice slurring as his hips move in an erratic manner, although it's taking you time to get used to him, you take the chances you get to mock him. your hand moves to wrap around his throat like a necklace of sorts.

"you can't even fuck me, so pussydrunk already? i'll have to all the work myself huh?" he looks at you with glossy eyes as your fingers press down on the sides of his neck.

"please yn" he whimpers out, with no real context as to what he's asking for, his eyes screwing shut. his arms are barely keeping him up anymore, sweating and trembling like he'll fall.

"you're too fucked out to even use your brain huh? begging and you don't even know what for. it's okay tho, since that's all a dumb slut can do. i'll show you how you're supposed to make me feel."

you push him onto his back, getting a yelp in return and waste no time in grinding down onto him, resulting in a loud gasp from the boy. your hand finds it's way back to his throat. he lets go completely, hands falling to his sides and head pressing back into the cushions as he releases a string of broken moans while you ride him into oblivion.

"o-oh, fuckfuckfuck. oh god."

you laugh at his helpless sounds, suppressing your own becoming difficult.

"god isn't gonna save you here, baby."

that makes him let out a loud, almost sob like moan.

"please." he whines as his hips buck up in the slightest. you're getting closer with every passing second and it looks he is too.

"please what, sweetheart? want me to stop? because your pathetic self can't take it? or want me to fuck you dumb until you're left a babbling mess?" these words make him let out the loudest moan you've heard from a man. he really does get off on degradation.

"c-close. oh god, please. please. fuck." he's physically restraining himself from reaching out to you, hands grasping at whatever purchase he can find on anything around him.

"fuck. i'm close. you there? cum with me." you breathe out to him and he cums with a broken sob, his high hitting him like a train as his breath falters and his back arches beautifully, you keep moving throughout, riding out your own orgasm which hits in sweet waves, you keep going for a while after, just to overstimulate the boy a little, getting small, pained whimpers from him.

"c-can i touch you? please?" he asks, still in his post orgasm haze, his voice so adorably small that it makes you give in.

"go ahead." you say, expecting him to touch you tits or ass, but you didn't expect him to pull you body down to lay on top of him as you both catch your breath from your orgasms. he was holding on tight, like he'll fall if he let go. that little action did something to your heart but you pushed it back, not wanting to ruin the moment.

you originally planned to fuck him and kick him out, getting rid of those pictures anyway, but you think you don't mind if he stays for a while, you let him cling to you for a few minutes before the stickiness and stench of sex gets to you.

"hey, hyunjin? let's clean up hmm?" he makes a small noise but unwraps his arms anyway, but winces with you when you get off of his dick.

you pay no attention to his cum dripping out as you get yourself and him towels to clean up and put on some clothes.

he lets you drag him to the kitchen and accepts the water you give him, you're busy observing his features when his small voice snaps you out.

"i'm sorry." why is he apologizing? you find him looking down on the floor.

turns out he's sorry for clicking those pictures without your consent, it takes a while to convince him that you actually saw him taking those, just chose not to protest. well since you noticed him in places he didn't think you would, this didn't surprise him either.

you send him off with a warning not to die on the streets in a car accident.

fuck, you really need to get him out of your brain.

he's gone and you suddenly remember you need to clean your apartment before Lin comes over, you rush to find a way to get rid of the very obvious smell of sex in your living room, while you clean your brain goes on autopilot with it's thoughts.

so he's clingy after sex-

wait, what?

[nikaizkool]

Manipulative bf feral boys + sweater duo + partners in slime

•dream

Never let’s you go out. Basically traps you but since George and sapnap are living with you two you aren’t lonely

Cooks for you buys you shit but never under any circumstance would he let you go out with a guy friend “no you can go out you’ll probably just cheat on me and the fact you’d cheat on me after everything I’ve done for you is sickening”

• Sapnap

Not that manipulative just like an angry dad when your out past your curfew “babe come home now.” When you came back home he’d be very distant and sad guilt tripping you into apologizing and staying home with him

You’d break up and get together on and off very annoying

Sex lots of it he just seems like the kind of guy to have breakup sex so ▪️🦇🕴️

• George

When he wants to do something you say no to “if you love me you’d do it” if you wanna do something he dosent want to “you need to stop being selfish and be more considerate of my needs.”

Bend you over—sick fuck who likes to quick fuck. Very needy when your talking with your friends “babe can you do this dishes it’s your turn”

• Charlie

- I can’t see him really being manipulative or possessive but I feel like if he were he’d only keep you to himself.

“Oh I didn’t know you were going out tonight I was gonna surprise you with a date—but it’s alright—it’s just I really was looking forward to some alone time, I just feel like you have been going out a lot—I feel like your distancing yourself from me.”

-definitely very clingy hugs from behind in public

Whispering stuff in your ear around your friends “your mine my love”

-does anything to prevent you from leaving, party’s, sex, dinner, dates, anything. If you both went out together he’ll be very protective and make you leave early. Very subtle stuff

•schlatt

-definitely like very possessive distracting you from your friends making him your only worry

- giving you everything you want, flowers, candy, blankets, anything to distract you from everything else “can you stall stream while I cook babe?”

- when you plan to leave he becomes all hot n sexy he starts feeling romantical, starts kissing your neck bear hugging you all that good stuff “but baby your not really gonna leave me here like this are you? Your friends can wait”

- progressively becomes more demanding through the relationship “what do you mean ‘can I go out’ no the fuck—we’re watching a movie babe” he’d hide your phone for a couple days then “find” it.

•Wilbur

Puppy eyes all the time, “but my darling we were supposed to hang out today it’s, date night” never lets you go anywhere except the mall and if you do it can only be with him. He monitors everything you do.

“Where were you last night my dear? I didn’t see you this morning?” Constantly bombarding you with questions about your whereabouts. “I was on life 360 and say you were out with f/n. I told you to stop hanging out with them—they aren’t a good influence”

Strict but gentle dad energy all the way “darling may I see your phone I gotta look something up” looks through all your texts ruins your friendships with people who say you and wils relationship is toxic the deletes texts he sent.

Reloads your social media every 5 seconds when your out if you post a dance on TikTok hed create multiple accounts saying your ugly till you delete the video afterwards hed Comfort you.

•Quackity

Very subtle “babe I have to go—“ he wrap his arms around you whining till you give in

When you go out together and he sees you eyeing someone he’d whisper to you “Your only mine-yeah?”

After you’d get home he’d guilt you “you don’t fucking love me anymore do you? I loved you Y/n I really did I can’t believe you.”

[funnyburneracct]

Hi, I'm Xiao/burningrqs. this post is going to be long. Posting this from a burner so that it doesn't go down the drain when we deactivate.

But essentially, this is an apology to the radqueer community for multiple different things. I'm going to do my best to type this out as well as possible, and I apologize if I miss anything or word things poorly. I am going to explain myself to the best of my abilities, but please keep in mind that my explanations do not excuse my actions by any means.

Post under the cut.

for those who don't want to read it though, TL;DR: I was a complete asshole and I'm genuinely very sorry about it.

So, I want to start off by apologizing in general for the "burning radqueers" thing. Not only was it just not funny, but it was also really weird. I know damn well that if I saw someone pop up with a "burningmogais" blog or something, I would be pissed. So I don't know what made me think that running burningradqueers was a good idea in any sense.

My rude and dehumanizing comments did not help. Regardless of how I view people, what disorders I have, or how symptoms present themselves, it was disgusting of me to act as though I can't be held accountable for my cruelty towards others.

The targeted posts were even worse, and allowing people to just pick a random blog to "burn" was teetering on harassment. It put the user in front of so many people who clearly did not have good intentions towards them, and inherently put the user being "burnt" in danger. I wish I noticed that fact sooner. Even if I disagreed with people or didn't like them for whatever reason, I still should not have felt as though I had the right to post stuff like that.

Adding onto that, I should have never used my ASPD as an excuse for anything. I tend to get defensive when I feel insulted, which is what happened, and I decided to bite back despite being in the wrong. I acted impulsively and out of pure anger, and then tried to defend it, which I shouldn't have. When saying the kinds of things I did, I am open to criticism whether I like that fact or not, and trying to act as though I am immune to that criticism because of a disorder was disgusting on my part.

Another thing, somewhat on a similar note, is that an apology is owed for my hostility in general. Every time it was even lightly suggested I was wrong, I seemed to lash out and get angry. This really just comes down to me needing to learn to admit my wrongs. I should not have made my inability to understand my wrongdoings anyone else's problem.

Then there's also the things I said when I lashed out before deciding to drop burningradqueers entirely. I don't fully remember all of what I said as the event happened during an episode (this does not excuse my words at all by the way. regardless of my state at the time, what I said wasn't okay and should not be excused) and the posts have since been deleted. But, I do remember at one point making harassment out to be a competition of sorts when someone was simply trying to calmly explain to my why the namedropping was not a good move. I can't for the life of me remember why I did that, but I am very sorry about it. A lot of people in the radqueer community have been harassed (and likely do still get harassed constantly), and for me to act like I am the only victim of harassment was wrong on multiple levels.

I'm sure there was a lot of bad stuff I said during that episode, but as I said, I do not remember most of it. I'm sorry that I can't apologize for the specific things I said, but I am apologizing for the situation as a whole.

The entire thing started over me not being able to handle much deserved criticism, and I stood "my ground" despite having absolutely no ground to stand on.

I started burningradqueers over baseless hatred. I didn't know why I was supposed to hate radqueers, or what I was even really hating. I joined the anti community thinking that it is much easier to just move with the pack and hate what everyone else seems to hate, but hatred really isn't that easy. It's exhausting. And realizing how much the anti community really wouldn't want me if I was honest about things made me realize that. Realizing that there are so many antis who would rather see us suffer forever due to dysphoria than see us live happily after getting amputations was rough, and honestly kinda gave me a taste of what radqueers have to deal with every single day, and it felt horrible.

Without realizing it, I managed to do so much damage to a community full of people who deal with exactly the same things I do, a community that is mostly traumatized and mentally ill people who are just trying to get by. Not even just that, but genuinely just people trying to exist and be honest about themselves.

It is not my place to dictate what is and isn't valid in terms of someone's personal identity, and even more, it's not okay for me to treat a whole community like garbage just because I didn't understand it.

Again, I do not want my actions to be excused. I treated people horribly and was a total dick, but I hope that me apologizing can at least make some of you feel better about how I behaved.

[signanothername]

Sooo... I'm back from the dead after dying from the overflow of too many positive emotions yesterday... (thanks for all the kind words 🩷)

And I'm back with another ask! Cool.

My question is not something necessarily related to the topic of the blog or anything, but rather about your artistic process?

So, personally I think many artists have those moments, or maybe specific paintings, that may just be emotionally draining. Like you're drawing a piece, and you don't like it for some reason, you try to change it, but you still don't like the painting, and you keep trying, but it's just something that's missing and you don't understand what it is and it just becomes frustrating and you start to get angry and-

Well, at least I seem to have such moments quite often (I dunno, maybe I'm just a perfectionist), and as far as I'm concerned different artists have their different ways to cope with this, so I wonder - do you have such moments sometimes and what do you usually do about it?

I'm sorry for the long ask I just can't keep things short and I'm just always curious about such things and the way different artists do stuff 😅

Hello!! Amazing to see you again! <33333 (of course!! Thank you for your kind words as well aaahh 😭❤️✨🌷)

As for your question, oooh boi, yes actually I have these moments A LOT, it’s cause i’m a perfectionist myself jdhdhdh

In fact, these kinda moments is why i sometimes give up on certain artworks or comics I make, and that’s why my wips just always seem to pile up, here are some examples of two artworks and a page of a comic I gave up on cause I just couldn’t for the life of me make them into what I wanted

And I will be lying to you if I said I have a solution for it or that I know how to deal with it

But I deal with it in two ways, I either completely delete the sketch i made and start over again

Or what I usually do is that I actually stop if i find the piece I’m working on emotionally draining, let go of the artwork and work on something else that i find fun, cause “giving up” doesn’t necessarily mean i will never get back to them, I see it as “taking a break” from the artwork till I get inspiration or motivation back to work on it again

Generally I’ve learned that in art, it’s ok to take things slow, I don’t always need to finish the artwork that I started before I start working on something else, in fact, taking things slow is how I made art much more enjoyable to me, cause it means I actually enjoy the process instead of treating it like there’s some sort of deadline above my head

To give you an example of what i mean, this artwork right here? Took me over 2 weeks to finish, not cause i couldn’t finish it quickly (in fact i can easily finish the same artwork in less than an hour) I just taught myself to take my time when making art, take things slow snd enjoy the process bit by bit, i worked on the quick sketch, closed it, then got back to it to work on cleaning it up multiple times, closed it again, then worked on coloring it and so on

And that’s also how i deal with artworks that make me frustrated, i take things slow, if i get frustrated then i simply close the artwork and work on something else till i have the motivation to work on what frustrated me again, that way i took a little break, and sometimes actually while working on something else you might get an idea on how to fix the artwork that frustrated you, but ultimately art is supposed to be fun not frustrating, so it’s ok not to finish artworks, it’s ok to abandon artworks if you don’t like them or if they emotionally drain you

That’s how i deal with it at least, but i say try to find your own path to how to deal with it, cause my way might not work for you, so i say experiment and find out :D

And nah don’t apologize i love long asks actually dychchch

[sarcastictissy]

Hola :D I just wanted to thank you for being so positive lately and looking at things regarding the qstudio situation with nuance. It feels like people have been so stressed and angry after all of the admin stuff came that they began to take every bit of news we hear as some sign that bad things are to come . I think a lot of people underestimated just how long this process can take, there a lot of factors to be considered here, including: q's lack of experience, the union, the laws, the admins. And unfortunately there is no way to satisfy everyone when it comes to stuff like this. This was never going to take a week or two, I feel like people didn't fully understand that.

Some admins are going to be pushed out of the project due to the lack of funds and the fact that this is a legal issue first and for most. It's unfair but it's the law. Not everyone understands that and because of that people are going to say things without understanding the situation. Not every thing is black and white and sometimes things aren't going to work out the way we want them to. Nobody is perfect and we shouldn't expect people involved in this situation to act like that. Which is why you should always look at the situation from multiple perspectives before forming an opinion.

It makes me feel tired to see the same takes over and over agian with no nuance. So your post have really helped me feel better :) I've seen people from both qsmpblr and qsmptwt act like every ccs involved in this is a war criminal or like this is a admins vs quackity or french/brazil vs quackity. It's kinda drove me off most social sites and forced me to only watch YouTube and stuff (on the good side of things, I've been watching quackity's discord videos and some dsmp vods :D it's been fun)

What I am trying to say is that, scrolling through your blog feels like a breath of fresh air and has made me feel 8× more calm about this situation. I don't think doomposting is necessarily bad but after seeing so much of it, sometimes you just need to distance yourself and look at the good parts of life. No matter how much I complain, I am never changing the course that qstudio is headed and neither can any one else, The only one who can do that is quackity. I hope that he does the right thing and the studio gets better. I love the characters that qsmp has brought us and the community it has formed, qsmp is a beautiful project that I want to see thrive. For now the only thing I can do as a viewer is hope for the best <3

I'm sorry if this came off as a trauma dump, I just really wanted to thank you.

So, this has been in my askbox for a while because I was so grateful and happy to hear I've helped someone!! Thank you sm anon that means a lot to me and knowing I'm keeping others optimistic, helps me feel optimistic too! :D

This is a very complex situation with so many moral grey areas mixed with black and white. It's not simple, it's not easy. These things cannot be fixed in a matter of weeks, you're absolutely right about that.

I also agree doomposting isn't necessarily bad! It's a good way to get off some steam and vent/ rant for a bit. There's nothing wrong with that. We all need it at times. For me, personally, it becomes toxic when that's ALL I'm seeing in social media. When I go on my phone and all I see is negativity, that's when I need to call it quits and start blocking people or start taking time away (which is why I deleted twt off my phone) everyone's tolerance levels are different ofc, so, not everyone is affected by that negativity, but I certainly was. This is why I want my blog to be positive and uplifting and you know what? Each and every time I get a ask or a message thanking me for that, I gain faith in humanity and it just encourages me to keep being positive! I'm so thankful for your ask and dw it wasn't trauma dumping at all!! :D I hope you're doing well anon! Take care of yourself. You matter

[therealpizzaheadiswear]

HAHAHAHA! HELLO! HI!

Welcome to my blog! I'm Pizzahead, and we're gonna have fun here, haha!

This site is gonna be one of my first interactions with the world outside of my tower, but haha, i'll manage!

(psst, hey! i'm the person who runs this thing. this is also my first time doing anything like this, so sorry if it's bad.)

(anyways, i'm gonna speak in these parenthesis just because i want people to know the difference in tags about whether Pizzahead or i am saying a thing.)

(so here are some rules btw-)

1: I could be a bit slow with asks sometimes. Sorry, but i got a life, and i can't control that. Just dont get angry or demand asks be turned on or answered or smth

2: I'm a minor, and i have friends that dislike NSFW! At their worst, keep asks mildly suggestive please! Otherwise they will be deleted

3: Basic DNI stuff (racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.)

4: Don't be mean in general, unless its for RP reasons

(and if you want to refer to me, you can just call me RandMod. Okay now some other info...)

I think that one blue square on my blog is usually called "asks" by others or somethin? Well, haha, either way, mine are...

Open! Go ahead, don't be shy, ha! say whatever!

Closed! Sorry, heh, ya gotta come back later!

Hrm... Think that's about enough for now, ha! Bye!

(And also, here's my explanation on some of the tags ill use. I'm using them all on this post mostly to check if they don't exist yet...)

("Just silly pizza thoughts" will be used whenever Pizzahead is just saying things)

("Just sad pizza thoughts" will be used for AAAAAANGST!!! which apparently happens a lot ig)

("the RandMod speaks!" will be used whenever i make a post that's just me talking to you directly, or if i'm in a post)

("Pizzahead's art gallery" will be used when art is reblogged on this blog, which will be rare unless its direct fanart for this blog)

(And of course i will use the basic tags of "Pizzahead" and "Pizza Tower" for each post)

(Oh, and you can do just about whatever with the stuff from this blog as long as u credit it, and it abides to the rules from earlier)

(Alright then, uh... bye. Hope you have some sort of fun with this...)

[dearweirdme]

What's weird to me is how completely silent jikook blogs are being over Da Eun. We were all constantly discussing taennie, whether it was during gurumi or the pap walk. But jikkrs have just gone silent on this. One jikk blog had somewhat accepted that Da Eun might have been his ex, but they deleted that post later on. This has become too big of a deal now. If they are trying to brush it under the rug, it ain't happening anytime soon.

Twtr jikkrs are another species tho. They are even blaming taekookers for this 😆. Their theories range from Da Eun modelling her apartment after jimin's to her hiring someone to recreate that nyc video to even trying to frame her as a serial clout chaser. Some are even saying that the living room is jk's brother's and she is his ex 🫨. Some think she is being paid by bh to frame jimin, why bh would do so is beyond me.

She is a celebrity herself. She isn't some random insta account who's trying to lay claim on some celebrity. When she so openly "hints" to there being something b/w her and jimin, it's a big deal.

I think most jikkrs are waiting for a denial/warning from bh.

Hi anon!

Omg we talked about Taennie in length! And we continued to talk about it for quite some time. When the Paris footage dropped I got over 200 asks in three days (it was wild). I think these things have to be discussed and preferably so with all kinds of views. Staying in your own bubble at times like that might feel comfortable, but in the end it won’t do much good. And you can’t really argue the realness of your ship if you don’t let the outside play a factor as well.

I got an angry Jkk in my asks (ofcourse, though it’s been only one so far). Talking about me being hypocritical.. but no, I am not. I did engage in Taennie talk a lot. But also.. yes… the hypocrisy is actually the point!

I’m not going to keep posting about this for long, since it is a Jm situation and not a Tkk situation for real.. though because of it being compared to Taennie there is some stuff to say about it probably. I’m not gonna pretend like this isn’t a bit funny to me also. I mean… the takes that go around are insane 😂.

I do wonder if bh will actually react. I have no clue how much of a thing this is in SK in general. So that might be a factor. Jm isn’t around right now so I also don’t know how to filter that in. It’s a wait and see I think.

[ifidiedinadream]

I kind of have a confession to make and I feel this might be the right place to do so (please feel free to ignore/delete this if you wish).

I genuinely hate the way I feel about my favorite artists (or I hate myself for feeling this way). I've become too attached to these people who I don't know and I strive off the attention they give me on social media. I try to not tag them in too much stuff, both for my sake and theirs (it can't be fun having that one person always begging for your attention) but I always feel infinitely better when they like my posts.

The worst part is that I'm jealous of everyone who gets to meet them and have normal interactions with them. Those I've met I know I made a fool of myself in front of them because I get too excited and probably come off like a groupie (derogatory). I try my best to act calm but somehow it never works. I love my friends and I am genuinely happy for them that they get to meet their favorite artists but whenever they do and they tell me about it I always have this voice in the back of my head going "it should've been me, why I can't I meet them??". I love hearing my friends stories but it's also painful to hear about an experience I want to have but can't. And the thing I hate most is when I see other fans I don't even know taking pictures with those artists, talking to them and sometimes actually developing friendships with them and all I can think is "it should be me, I deserve that too" (I don't deserve it).

In the end it's all because of personal issues I need to work on but I feel like I'm always hitting a wall and can't move forward. If I want to meet my favorite artists and have those experience I need to make things happen for myself and I'm so envious and jealous of everyone who are brave enough to put in the work.

I've never told this to anyone because I know how bad it is and I don't want to be seen as that person who can't be happy for others without thinking about themselves, even though I am. I'm jealous and selfish and I hate it.

being happy for someone who has something nice happening to them can COEXIST with you experiencing it as an "injustice" and thinking that you deserve just as much. this second feeling can be so intense it drowns out the first. what does it say about you? only that it's something that means a lot to you. everyone has access to this thing and you just can't seem to get it no matter how hard you try and you want it with all your heart. of course you're angry and sad. of course it fucking sucks. it doesn't mean you're selfish, also cause it's not about your friends and the other people. it's you you're mad at in the end, because it's your head that keeps you from getting what you want. and you don't know what to do to "unblock" youself, hence the self hatred. can it really be that easy to set it all aside to just "be happy for your friends"? i don't think so

you aren't a bad person, you're simply stuck. and trust me i get the frustration, the loneliness, the hopelessness of desperately wanting something your brain won't allow you to have

[elliespuns]

I think by posting the mean anon you enabled hate and bulling towards Bella, but you also owned up to it and apologized. At which point it should be over. The fact that people just won`t let it go is just unkind. We all make mistakes and the idea that you can never be off the hook is just nuts to me. Its like we can never learn from it and do better. And yes we can, you`re a good example of that.

I hope you`ll have a better day tomorrow.

And to all the holier than thou peeps: Have you really never messed up? Done something careless or stupid and felt bad after? How were you treated after? And how would you like to be treated? With a bit of understanding and kindness? Or with nuclear missiles?

Another issue (except for the one where I was being an ass) was that people were angry that I didn't delete the post right away. The problem is that I share my posts in the evening of my time, and then I go to bed and wake up for work. Which means at least 17 hours without checking my blog and knowing what's happening over here when I am working. That was the reason why the post was hanging there for almost a day.

I did delete it immediately after I opened my notifications and saw the madness that I caused. Some other people reblogged the post because they were angry and needed to vent their thoughts, so it's probably still out there, though. Hopefully, no one will reblog it again, and the people who did reblog it will delete it too, making it all disappear. I hope it won't get shared again. I haven't been thinking of anything else for the last day, and I feel pretty bad about it still being out there, honestly. Because I really did mean no harm.

For a while, I was thinking not posting about the show anymore. Because what I fear is that the people I pissed off won't let it be and will continue reblogging my stuff with ugly comments, keeping the drama alive. Yet I want to participate in the discussions and hype because there are still things I love about the show. I still enjoy talking about it and sharing opinions, insights, and theories. Also, opinions can change over time. I wish people understood that me saying one thing NOW doesn't mean I'm going to be saying the same thing LATER be there anything that changes my mind in the meantime.

Thank you for being so kind. Luckily, many of you who have been following me for almost the whole time I have had this blog know that I never trash-talked Bella or any other actor (or even a fictional character), and you stayed considerate even after I did something out of character. Kudos to all of you.

I know that nothing we do is without consequences, so I deserved what I got, but honestly, I wish to not talk about it any more on this blog. If you have anything to say about this (be in nice or bad), you can message me or send an ask, but I won't be posting those concerning this mess anymore.

Anyway, I'm babbling now. Thanks for all your love, kids. Although I don't deserve it now, I still truly feel bad.

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

I had a moment where I let out my anger. Is that bad? Or is it a way to relive myself of stress?

It depends on what you said/did

Always ask yourself (in most any context really, not just with anger stuff)

"Will it hurt somebody or myself?"

I personally struggle with anger too, and unregulated emotions in general. However, I take medication for it and I've been doing general group therapy. But, that's not a cure-all, obviously

When there are times I feel like I might snap and hurt somebody's feelings, or harm myself physically, I do these instead:

(keep in mind, these are what work for me personally! Not everyone is the same, but I thought I might share some advice)

• If you don't want to risk accidentally posting a personal and very angry vent, go into a word document (or even a physical notebook if you want!), and write down what you want to say. Just go ham and let out all of your frustrations. Leave for a while, come back to read it, then delete it/shred it if you want

• if you'd prefer to simulate like you're actually going to post it for others to see, click "create a post", make sure that it'll save to your drafts and not actually post (I think you can post things privately too, but I don't trust that eheh), write out everything that's making you upset and everything you want to say, save it to your drafts and read it a few times, then delete it

• Draw/write something cartoonishly violent. Weirdly enough, drawing Vanilla cartoonishly beating up throw away bad guy OCs actually soothes my anger the most. It feels like I took a hot bath and I'm relaxed! (Plus nobody will see the drawings because they're in a vent folder)

• You could also take a hot bath or a freezing cold shower. The hot/cold temperature stimulates your vagus nerve and reduces anger and stress quite a bit. I usually just take a quick freezing shower and let it hit my chest and back, but when I'm feeling lazy, I'll take a hot bath and soak

• Do squats or lift weights. I personally hate lifting weights, but when I'm angry, I'll do weighted squats until I'm exhausted.

A lot of people know me as a pretty lighthearted and laidback dude! But I have my internal mental health struggles as well... All of these help me regulate my emotions and make sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings or myself when I'm feeling angry.

And remember: having bad or violent or mean thoughts doesn't make you a bad person. What matters is what you do with those thoughts. Never harm another person, that includes yourself.

I struggle with distressing intrusive thoughts and violent thoughts, but that doesn't reflect my worth or morality. I'm not going to post the vent drawings unless they're the sadness ones and I specifically made them for posting.

Drawing or writing in your personal folders or sketch books to vent your frustrations and feelings is healthy. It's better that you do something constructive rather than destructive. We all have our struggles, and we need a healthy outlet for our mental health issues 💪

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Young Royals Season 2 play-by-play analysis

I should clarify that, as I reread these thoughts and delete some of them, I might be adding some stuff to expand on some ideas, that I wasn’t able to fully articulate at the time.

On to episode 3…

EPISODE 3

I appreciate that Wille is doing what he can to improve things for himself, with both Simon and with his mother. And I feel for him and his frustration at not being able to make it work. Right now he thinks it’s that simple, it should be that simple, but it’s not. It’s going to take a little more work, a little more dedication.

“Prison?” August now realizing the legal consequences of leaking the video, and yet he can’t not be an asshole as he seeks help. “I wouldn’t have called you if I had anyone else to call.” August trying to make it very clear how he feels about his stepdad. I wonder if he feels this way because his mother remarried, because she remarried someone who is “just a lawyer”, or because of his feelings about the way that his father died, and about not having a dad anymore.

I think August really wasn’t aware that leaking the video meant posting child pornography, and this is really the first time he’s hearing it. The other two don’t sound technically as bad in comparison, he probably thinks he can get away with those two. But child pornography? That’s a Prince Andrew level of scandal. And now his stepdad knows too.

And so when Sara encourages August to confess, he already knows that there’s no point, it won’t get him out of it. Because that’s all he thinks about, getting off scott-free.

Vincent constantly singling Simon out and berating him when he’s berating all of them… screw you, Vincent. “I always have to prove myself, otherwise he’ll just blame me.” It hurts that he’s so aware of it. Being in that school constantly makes Simon aware of how much he doesn’t fit in with his peers.

So are students at Hillerska not allowed to order takeout? Or would Wille get questioned by the Royal Court about why he’s ordering takeout for himself and his friend?

The way Simon just went “nope” and stopped working out is so relatable (credit to @themarsbar for that gif, which doesn’t appear in the gif tab so I hat to manually look it up because it’s my fav) . I too would hate kicking my knees up in the fucking snow in the middle of the night. I do love that Rosh is helping him, even though she doesn’t consider rowing a sport. And I love that Ayub is sitting by himself in the fucking cold just to be with his friends.

Rosh: “it’s not because Wille’s on the team?” Simon: “No.” Rosh: “You seem to have trouble keeping away from him.” Simon: No answer…

“I just don’t understand why I can’t fall in love with him.” Oh baby, if only it were that simple. Just because you fell head-over-heels in love with Wille in, like, no time at all doesn’t mean that it’s always like that. You can’t force it. And Rosh’s face realizing that Simon is not a rebound guy, he’s a relationship guy, and he fell hard for Wille and that it’s not going to go away that quickly…

“I know I should feel okay that he’s seeing other people.” No, baby, nobody said that. You’re allowed to feel sad and angry and jealous. Things with Simon didn’t end the way you wanted them too, in fact you didn’t actually want things to end. It’s too soon. These two boys are so impatient.

“Here to see the socialist? But like he’s actually pretty decent”. It’s so annoying how Nils is often such an elitist, but like he’s forcing himself to be. He says something disdainful, but then he says something nice. Or he says something in a disdainful tone, just so that no one around him actually thinks he’s nice. I keep thinking back to s1e1, when Vincent shouts at Simon “can you sing louder?” Obviously to embarrass him. But when Simon walks past August, Vincent and Nils, Nils says “hey you’ve got good pipes” or something, but he says it in a tone that makes it seem like a backhanded compliment, it sounds like bullying, because he’s with his friends. God forbid he might be upfront and nice…

“When you’re struggling, it can be helpful to see someone like me.” Wilhelm realizing that Erik was not as perfect as he thought, that he also had struggles. “So that you don’t feel you have to risk hurting somebody.” Does that mean that Erik struggled with self-destructive behaviors?

“He was always saying that we should keep what’s private private. That’s how we were raised. Otherwise… otherwise people take advantage.” Wille, like Erik, seems to have a skewed perspective of what privacy means and what secrecy means.

Wille’s whole confession about feeling lonely makes me so sad. He really feels like Erik is the only one who cared, and now he’s gone. “Then last year I made a new friend who awakened new feelings in me… in a way I wish I hand’t, it was better not knowing how it could feel…” Crying every single time…

It’s interesting how earlier Rosh was pointing out that Simon can’t seem to keep away from Wille. Maybe he is, but then he picks up the book that later Wille has to pick too because it’s the only one left, just by… coincidence? (No such thing. It’s the universe telling them something… *cough* soulmates *cough*)

Wille realizing that Kris by Karin Boye is basically about him… (and of course dear Henry being completely dense, love him).

Simon being conflicted about what he should tell Wille, because he doesn’t owe him anything, and yet knowing that Wille will be sad about it, and also knowing that there’s really nothing going on between him and Marcus (not from his side, at least) and not wanting to use Marcus to make Wille jealous or to simply be a rebound but actually knowing deep down that was the whole point of starting anything with Marcus. And then ultimately deciding that he doesn’t want Wille to be sad…

Simon watching Wille’s face as he processes the information. He had already pretty much decided at this point that he wasn’t going to continue to pursue anything with Marcus, and Wille’s reaction pretty much cemented it. Just like Wille still cares about Simon, Simon unfortunately still cares very much for Wille. He’ll just have to get over him the old-fashioned way. By writing a heartbreak song…

Sara asking Felice to promise that they will find better new owners for Rousseau and then feeling betrayed when Rousseau is still sold to those people is very similar to Simon’s reaction when Wille said he wouldn’t say anything about the video and then doing the interview to deny it was him. Neither Sara nor Simon understand that Felice and Wille weren’t given a choice, their parents decided for them. As privileged as Felice and Wille are, they still have to abide by their families wishes, even if they don’t agree.

“Can’t forget our golden days.” If that’s not an on-the-nose reference to all the golden Wilmon moments, then I don’t know…

“There they are our fucking slaves.” Jesus Christ, Vincent, what a choice of words. And getting all high and mighty and getting in Henry’s face… What the actual fuck… What’s more shocking about this whole tyrannical tirade is that the Housemaster is just sitting there! The entire time, he’s sitting there, watching, like it’s no big deal, like it’s totally okay for Vincent to speak like that and to treat his housemates like that.

When Walter comes to ask August if he’s coming to the shooting range, and August says “You can tell Judas that I’m not ready to make peace”… the irony, when he’s the biggest traitor of them all…

Simon coming into the frame as the lyrics say “I need you to hear what I mean and not what I say” as he heads over to talk to Marcus and tell him he’s not ready for a relationship… and then Marcus being pushy and not listening to him… ugh…

Simon asking Sara if she’s friends with August, and her basically lying. Or maybe it’s the truth. They are not friends. She blackmailed him into helping her get into Manor House, and now she’s horny for him. August, however, does seem to think he can trust Sara, and she revealed to him that Felice is the one who told Wille who the culprit was… maybe that’s what August thinks friendship is. August probably thinks that friendship is just convenience; you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. He probably also thinks that friendship has an element of idolatry, he idolized Erik in his time, and when he became the senior student and prefect and rowing team leader, he was in turn “idolized” (no, he wasn’t, he was tolerated, unlike Erik who, judging from the way that people talk about him, when he was still alive and now that he’s dead, probably was actually idolized, and August has not been able to replicate his popularity the same way, but since people still followed him as the leader then he thought he was doing fine… and now he knows he wasn’t). He thinks that his friends have all betrayed him… no August, your friends were never really your friends, and they’re done with your bullshit.

Sara rubbing in Simon’s face that he gives people second chances (“and third and fourth and fifth…”), but also kind of making it sound like maybe it’s not such a bad thing to give August a second chance. Maybe that’s the way she thinks now, because she’s getting closer to August… Sara had some very strict standards for Simon and then became upset when he disappointed her, but then she goes and makes similar mistakes, but doesn’t seem to be aware of how unfair that is.

The way she says to Rousseau “he’s going to see Marcus…” like she thinks it’s a good thing, like Simon seemed excited about it… the way she says in episode 2 “at least he doesn’t need rescuing all the time”… the fact that Sara hasn’t been home since the beginning of class and they haven’t hung out as much… it makes me think two things: that Sara doesn’t really understand or doesn’t perceive how messed up Simon is over his breakup with Wille, and therefore thinks that Simon is really moving on with Marcus, OR Simon has really kept all his feelings bottled up since before Christmas and therefore neither Linda nor Sara know really how much his breakup with Wille has affected him, and therefore Sara honestly thinks that Simon is moving on with Marcus (which would also explain why Linda was so enthusiastic about Marcus as well). I feel both might be true because of how much Simon doesn’t want to show how much things affect him because he doesn’t want to burden his mother with these issues, because he thinks he needs to be strong (“eres fuerte, Simon”), and so he has tried to force himself to move on or dealt with his emotions in private)… and therefore, if Sara doesn’t really understand how much this breakup affected Simon, how much Wille really meant to him, because she either hasn’t been there or because he hasn’t really shown her how he feels, then she doesn’t understand how desperate Simon is to move on and how much he’s still hurting. Not only that, she doesn’t seem to understand how traumatizing the video leaking was for Simon (after all, she was only really thinking of herself when it happened and it started to have a ripple effect, with their mum wanting to pull them both out of Hillerska).

And it makes me wonder what things would have been like between Wille and Simon if the video hadn’t leaked, what their relationship would have been like it their privacy hadn’t been violated… it sucks to go to that mentality immediately, that “everything happens for a reason” (not when it shouldn’t have happened), and it sucks because but maybe all of these terrible things that happened to them, as traumatizing as they have been, it forced both Wille and Simon to do some hard introspection, mature in many aspects, and find themselves coming out stronger out the other side… it sucks, because they’re just kids, and they didn’t deserve it… but also the only thing left to do in that situation is to focus on the positive outcome and work through the trauma… but I can’t help but imagine for them a life in which they didn’t unfairly get thrown into all this turmoil…

“I never said that I thought that you would hurt me.” Listen, Marcus, he doesn’t have to talk to you about this. He just said he’s not ready, he doesn’t know when he’ll be ready. If you’re a decent human being, you will back off. And why the fuck bring up the video???? This means that you know, you have known this entire time, about the video, about Wilhelm. You know that, if there are weird vibes with Wille, then Wille is definitely the guy from the video. You know that he’s probably trying to get over him… (and yes, you watched it, admit it, you watched it and you liked what you saw).

The rest of that conversation just boils my blood… “I know you don’t want to destroy something so beautiful.” Fuck you and fuck you for making Simon’s resolve weaken with your gaslighting and your superiority complex.

Sara doesn’t know that August has already looked into everything that could happen to him as consequence of the video, he used to think he was just going to lose everything because the monarchy would not tolerate it, but now he knows that he might even go to prison. Sara doesn’t, she still thinks he might want to redeem himself.

Simon cheering for Wille during the competition, then promptly stopping when he realizes that Marcus is there.

When Vincent falls off the chair, Forest Ridge is still ahead. When Simon gets in the chair, they’re still ahead. It’s some time after that that they lose their lead, and lose. But Vincent still blames Simon for losing.

Also August defending Simon in the locker room. Is he arguing with Vincent because he knows Vincent is wrong? Is it because Vincent pisses him off? Is it guilt because of what he did to Simon? Is it because Simon is Sara’s brother? All of the above? Also the “It doesn’t matter, it’s not real” argument because nothing matters to August anymore now that he doesn’t have the power. All the things that mattered so much to him are now so obviously pointless, he either realizes that it’s all meaningless, or he wants to diminish the significance, now that it’s not as important because he’s not at the top looking down

Wille putting on a sad song because it’s the only way he can process seeing Simon kiss Marcus and Simon not being on the team with him anymore. Everything is crumbling, let me listen to sad music and look at pictures of my ex to make myself feel worse. We get you, sweet prince. Next season that photo album will be brimming with cute pictures, new pictures, happy pictures…

That’s not Drottningholm palace or Stockholm palace, is it? As any nerd of this show, I’ve done some research and can’t match the façade of the palace where August arrives to any of the royal palaces of Sweden… but it’s at the waterfront…?

“If, and only if, Wilhelm can’t stand the pressure to take over the throne…” interesting choice of words. She’s saying that only if Wilhelm can’t do it, if he doesn’t want to do it, if he chooses to abdicate, then August would be next in line. Does that mean that if Kristina doesn’t think Wilhelm should be Crown Prince anymore because of his choice to be with Simon or any other reason, as long as he’s up for it he will still be the Crown Prince? They can’t justify him not being fit for it, it has to come from him?

”This will stay between us”, she says, then she tells Wilhelm without hesitation. Maybe it was indeed just a plan. Probably Kristina did need to get a backup (she does say it wasn’t her idea), but the main point of it, especially the point of choosing August, was to light a fire in Wilhelm, make him want to stay Crown Prince, just so that August will never be. (And then Wille turns the tables majestically on her, pun not intended).

I appreciate that she clarifies that it wasn’t her idea, because under the circumstances she would never choose him, the motherly side of her would always side with Wilhelm, but… the queen side of her wins again.

August’s self-satisfied smile, urgh… he’s back in the game. But he can’t tell anyone. He’s just gonna be smug all the time.

“How long do I have to feel like this?” Not long, baby, not long.

Every time… this scene… it’s like watching a train crash… but they both went in for the kiss at the exact same time. Felice definitely has some lingering feelings for Wille. And he knows she wanted him before, so maybe it would be pretty easy, this thing between them…? Let’s give it a try, perhaps? They’re both lonely, and he was desperate and she was not going to say no, so they basically kind of took advantage of each other.

When Felice stops, her resolve immediately weakens when he looks at her, because she probably got all hot and bothered, but she wants to check with him if this is okay. Wilhelm isn’t thinking, he’s desperate for touch, for getting Simon out of his head, for hopefully finding something equally as powerful with someone else, so he’s not even hesitating. He can trust Felice, she’s his friend. It’s not until Henry walks in that he snaps out of it, that he remembers where they are, who they are and what they’re doing, and now someone else knows. His privacy just keeps getting intruded upon…

(Next episode… ohmaigaddd, next episode, so tempted to rewatch just for the heck of it… )

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hello BPP, I’m new ARMY! I have only been a fan since hiatus 😅 and have only been in the fandom for solo era. I had been enjoying my experience so far and loving the music. But I am so confused by all the noise at present with FACE. I don’t understand what is happening with Youtube and the noise from kpop fans against Jimin’s encore performance. We have been streaming for more than a week but we cannot seem to go over 30 million? I know there is filtering happening and that it’s normal but it is weird because we keep going back to 27 million. I am not sure if you discuss stuff like these in more detail. Can you suggest an account to follow so I can understand more?

About the encore stage, I read your other masterlist posts and it does feel like a predicated response because of the success Jimin is getting. He is predicated to debut at #1 at Hot 100 by some accounts. I find the issue response to be very exaggerated though 😅 Would it be too tin hat foil if I think a big company is behind it? I had read an issue about Kakao being behind a targeted smear campaign against several girl group members a few months ago. Is it too conspiracy? I do not want to think unkindly or too tin hat foil if there is a reasonable explanation like kpop fans being threatened and being angry 😅

Thank you BPP! 💜💜💜

***

Hi Anon,

Welcome to comeback season.

I’ll be brief.

Nothing that’s happening to Jimin is unexpected. YouTube has been excessively filtering, freezing, and then deleting views off BTS videos since 2021. It’s not something I care much about but it’s impossible to ignore. I think there are two reasons for this:

1. YouTube now has paid options and they have been pushing users to switch to the Premium option. In reply to many direct ARMY inquiries about missing views, the customer service reps often suggest streaming from YouTube premium accounts so all views can be counted. It’s possible they’ve identified ARMY as a group of people who will pay more if it means views are counted for BTS, but even I who spends most of my working hours as a capitalist demon finds this move to be just a little perverse. Views are views and paid views should count just the same as unpaid views.

2. I’m good friends with stans in many other fandoms and they don’t often have the same complaint. Videos from other k-pop groups don’t have the same handicap likely because there are less people at once watching the videos (ARMYs are a lot of people…) and because it’s the industry norm to use ads to inflate views. And more groups using ads even more than before, is also something I’ve noticed since 2021. This is also a scenario YouTube prefers because they directly receive revenue from k-pop companies when those companies buy ads, so every view of the ad is counted.

Like I said, records of views isn’t something that I think matters all that much for BTS today. But that doesn’t mean it’s right that it happens at all. ARMYs have limited recourse here short of getting a job at YouTube and trying to change their strategy internally. What I personally do is stream as usual (checking out their videos at least once every couple of days - I’m online often so that happens easily… I love watching them), and talk more about them with people in my life. Sometimes those people go on to check out the boys, and then who knows? YouTube might be deleting records of people watching BTS but now even more people are finding out about them. A win.

Some ARMYs are reporting this to BigHit. I don’t think that will have any impact since counted views are entirely at YouTube’s discretion, but if you’re inclined to take more action, there’s that option.

Think how so much easier things would be though, if BTS and Bang PD just did what most others in the industry are already doing. The goody-goody-two-shoes thing is sometimes annoying, but I hope if you’re ARMY you respect them for making these sort of choices for as long as they make them.

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About Jimin, I won’t say much. His in-ears may or may not have been working. I personally don’t care. Whatever the case it doesn’t change the fact that Jimin can sing. But remember what I said about Avoidance and Hate being the two primary responses to expect from most k-pop stans to anything concerning BTS? That’s all that happened here. Jimin had been giving jaw dropping performances, breaking records, and blowing nearly every metric of commercial and critical success out of the water, and the response from k-pop stans was basically virtual Ostrich head-in-sand. (Though many were streaming Jimin’s songs and talking about it in GCs according to some friends in other fandoms). But the minute they found something to mock, they swarmed.

It’s simple, predictable, and lame.

But there are decade-long structures that reinforce that behaviour, and the ARMY fandom is one that’s had to bear the brunt of challenging the dominant culture and behaviours. The casualties are reflected in all that’s ugly about ARMY.

Anyway, Jimin is fine. He likely wants to spend some more time with Hobi before Hobi enlists. I suspect it’s why Jimin cancelled his Inkigayo live appearance. But he’s more than okay. Didn’t you hear him on Set Me Free Pt 2?

You said you’re a new ARMY so please allow me to say one thing: pay attention to all that’s happening around you, but please try not to make it terribly upset you. Focus on loving yourself, whatever that means for you. For me, that means enjoying the music BTS makes as often as I like. I just listened to Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston play after Sexy Nukim by Balming Tiger ft RM and I almost moaned at my desk at the pleasure in that shift in sound. Sorry if that’s TMI, but like, that’s the reason I’m here writing about seven guys from Korea. I’ve said before I’m not a writer, yet I’m here. They make me loco. Anyway, another good practice is to report the really bad tweets if you see them, and focus on Jimin, BTS, and the music.

And lately, Jimin *and* Jungkook have been making it very easy to focus on them:

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Happy streaming.

[strangertheories]

Honestly, byler to me has become a stressful 'thing' now i cannot even enjoy it due to the whole discourse and drama surrounding it lol. Also it feels like the shipping culture kinda died because people just stopped shipping things for fun but it became a match where you have to prove your ship's 'validity' 'morality' or how it actually exists in canon and it should exist in canon (for this and that reason), and you have to constantly prove yourself that you are a master analysist and you Get The Narrative and that's why you ship this ship and if it doesnt become canon then it means the writing is dumb/poor and im like..? You dont really have to do all that and i get that sometimes feeling so passionately about shipping is natural part of fandom and i have been there and done that too, but this whole narrative and mindset surronding it is just really tiring. if a ship makes you this stressed and traumatized and if it happens you say stuff like 'imma kms' maybe just kinda take a step back idk. I ship ron/nce and i adore their dynamic, but i am well aware that it is not going to happen even if i see a certain level of dynamic between nancy and robin. and i get that it is different for will since will is canonically into mike now but the overall point still stands. you can still like a ship even if it doesnt become canon you dont have to try so hard to prove its existence or validity since the shipping is usually supposed to be... fun.

Anon, I'm convinced I somehow sent this to myself because I'm exactly the same. I get being critical of the show's queer rep and plot if Byler isn't canon or being disappointed which we saw a lot of post volume 2, but yeah. Being a Byler shipper has become not fun™ and it's become a requirement that you think it's going to be endgame in order for you to ship it. And I also think the sense of superiority a lot of Byler shippers have about being great critical thinkers or having media literacy can make it feel scary to ever question anything anyone ever says, although most people were actually quite supportive when I spoke about this. All of that to say, letting go of Byler endgame before S4 has been great for me; I love analysing and theorising about Byler without the pressure of needing it to be canon.

And I know people will read this as "you shouldn't be bothered by the show using Will" but what I and I believe the anon is trying to say is that fandom should be built off of fun and wanting your ship to have content because you enjoy it, not because you're terrified it's not gonna be canon. Easier said than done, but I think you need to take care of yourself and your mental health too. I'm not famous or anything but I have quite a few followers now and I'm not going to lie or guarantee 100000% that it will be canon because I just do not know and I genuinely think people's mental health will be damaged because they've been hyping up an expectation of ST5 for years.

If shipping Byler has become too stressful for you, try take a break for a bit (I've been posting less over the last few months partially because of this too). Especially since we all have hiatus brain where expectations and theories become more and more wild because we have to keep digging deeper into the same content. I'm so scared that S5 will come out and it doesn't happen because I like a lot of people in this fan community and if Byler isn't canon, we'll get angry posts for a couple of months and maybe some theories about interference or deleted scenes (this happen post S4 a bit as well) but then it's gone ): the community revolves more about being 100% sure Byler will happen instead of enjoying the pairing of Mike and Will so without canon Byler, I don't know what will remain.

Thanks for the ask, anon. Also Ronance forever! <3

[chthonicarcher]

you’ll be interested to know I hadn’t actually read your response to me on AO3 yet at the time of receiving this ask! I haven’t looked at my AO3 inbox at all since you left your original comment, in fact. if you felt bad about whatever you said, you could have just deleted it at any point... (but it doesn’t matter. the entire thread will be deleted soon regardless!)

continued... ->

okay, so first: I do sincerely apologize for replying to your initial comment in anger. because yes, it made me angry! I should have waited until later to reply, when I wasn’t so annoyed anymore. but I didn’t wait, and I do regret that. and, as a side note, I did *not* actually intend to sound condescending—but, as I’m sure you’ve realized, intentions sure don’t count for much here.

because you claim in your ask that you *intended* to “kindly” let me know about an error you noticed in my fic. but what you actually did, though, was rudely ignore the chapters you had read and PRESUMABLY enjoyed (who knows?? not me, because you didn’t say shit about that) and instead decided to point out what you perceived as a math error on my part (which, I’ll only say this once more, because it doesn’t actually matter: I was not, in fact, wrong about in the first place!) and called it a day. WOW, THANKS!

pictured here: KINDNESS!

do you understand why that kind of thing might make an author feel bad? I mean, really, do you? it’s like you walked into my house, sat down at my table and started eating this cake I had baked for you *without uttering one single word to me* the entire time, and then abruptly stood up and left while loudly talking about how *you* would have frosted the cake differently. come the fuck on, man. even just *thinking* about writing things again is hard enough for me right now. I mean *nice* comments don’t even hit the same when you’re feeling bad about your work! *this* shit feels demoralizing. like listen, I get that you probably weren’t trying to be a dick on purpose, but please just...try to have more awareness of how your words could affect people? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

by the way, some advice for the future, if you’ll pardon the condescension: if you ever feel an urge to get pedantic in somebody’s comments section, in MY opinion you should either a.) be their trusted friend already or b.) be very sure they are receptive to those kinds of corrections. and ALSO, in addition to those things, you should probably say literally anything else in the body of your comment so you don’t come off like a total dick. you don’t have to write a whole novel or anything, as appreciated as those are—even something as brief and to the point as “this was great” is a perfectly acceptable comment.

SIGH. so okay. so.........I’m sorry, but I think it’s really fucking interesting that you ALSO left this comment on cabin fic, which *also* made me feel terrible? you’ve really got a knack for that, it seems. yeah...actually, I’m going to go ahead and request that you stop leaving comments on stuff I’ve written? usually it really is true that more comments = better! comments are so, SO appreciated by fic authors...I mean, they fuel us. they really are all that’s keeping us going sometimes. but...in both of these examples...I really think just saying nothing would’ve been better.

and...that brings us to the elephant in the room. again, I’m sorry—I just don’t know of a way to approach this without being a bit condescending?...but, listen. if you *are* in fact a minor...then I don’t just need you to stop commenting on my works, I need you to stop READING them. both of the fics we’re talking about here are rated Explicit. minors are not welcome.

alright, with that out of the way: at the time of this posting, I still haven’t read your second comment on AO3. if you’d like to delete it before that happens, please feel free. I’ll be deleting the entire thread pretty soon regardless. I don’t need it sitting there festering and making my WIP fic any harder for me to look at than it already is.

with all that said? thank you for apologizing. and, again, I’m sorry for the tone of my response, too.

— 𝒜𝓇𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓇

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Hey, sorry you’re not feeling great because of this person and it’s okay to be upset over it! I saw the same ask sent to another tumblr user before and you make damijon fanfic and the other user made fanart. I saw them in the Damian and Damijon tag a ton and gets rude especially if you ship batcest or have a differing opinion. They feel they have the moral high ground to freely be mean. When I saw the stuff about your anon ask I knew exactly who to check and saw the post they made about you that they deleted already. They must have liked your damijon writing but finding out you blocked them made them angry and even bring up their shipping morality again. You did good to curate your feed! I blocked them once but kept seeing the hidden replies notification under posts so I unblocked. Not worth it because sometimes it’s them being casually mean. I hope your day gets better and you have a chill time writing!

You don’t have to reply to this if you want to keep their tumblr private because this feels like a bit of a giveaway. Just wanted you to know I understand why you’re upset because their posts can sound so angry and miserable toward others.

Aw no worries, I appreciate you checking in!

And I’m not like, upset-upset, day ruined. I’m just like…bummed out? In that way where you just deep sigh and say, ‘…man, that sucks.’ But also I woke up feeling bad about myself because I forgot to do something for the boys yesterday and just the burn out from moving/fixing up house along with an insane job workload is just starting to hit, you know? It’s no biggie. Just one of those days. Sorry i sounded so dramatic this morning, the coffee hadn’t hit yet. 😂 and I’m just a very sensitive/empathetic/bleeding heart person. I cry when I see Timmy (the cat) look at me a certain way, ya know?

People are people. It was just a weird situation that I wasn’t expecting in the least. When I heard about them posting about me I reached out to clear the air, and they made clear they didn’t want it. They reached out again later this morning with an, uh, interesting apology-type message, but in the end, nothing else to be done about it. We’re all just a bunch of faceless usernames on a screen anyway. I don’t plan to respond, and hope to forget about this whole thing sooner than later. They know how to reach me if they need something though.

It was just, you know, a reminder more than anything. There’s no need to go out of your way to be cruel to someone, especially in a place like fandom. Something I probably needed reminded of myself. Different strokes for different folks and all that. I’m gonna sound like my mother, but it’s like…just be nice, you know? Or be nothing. I try to be the nothing. Don’t perceive me. My social battery can’t take it 😂

Anyway, enough of that. Back to comics and shit. Here’s a kitty palate cleanser of my lil fuckheads before we go back to emotional damian posting. (I got The Boy Wonder and i cant wait to read sad lil babyyyy)