#i kept messing with this but i need to catch just-post-it disease because i need to just post things aaaa

[blairaptor]

Crosshair and Echo acting like me with my brother

[isaac-lahey-imagines]

Imagine #70 | Request #31 (Part 3/3 of Isaac Lahey x Alpha!Reader)

Catch up here: Part 1, Part 2 (might need to rewrite these two though)

Can I just say that you guys who stuck with this blog (and the Wattpad imagines) are the best? And to think I haven't posted in years and we've hit 6k+ followers when I came back?! I don't even know how you people are still here and loving the pieces I put out when I'm here cringing over the old works back in 2015!

Warnings: The usual when it comes to the Teen Wolf series, specifically the Dread Doctors' season, mentions of blood, bones breaking, drugs, needles, a few curse words, idk if this is angst? whump?

Word Count: 6k+ (it's probably the longest I've written omg)

Not much of a flashback or backstory (I'm out of words, I can't squeeze anymore juices out of my brain, my bad). As usual, this is note beta-ed and sorry for any mistakes! English isn't my first language :(

~

“No more, please,” weak cries fell on deaf ears as you were dragged down from one hall to another, the smell of disinfectant and rust overpowering your already sensitive nose and magnifying the headache that was present from when you took a beating earlier.

The sound of bare flesh skidding on the polished floor bounced off the walls as you tried to pull away and run from your captors, you did not care of the stinging sensation that radiated from the pads of your feet - the open wounds left untreated by the people who kept you in hopes that whatever was inside of you can take care of it on its own.

You were repulsed at the thought of them still being considered as people after what they have put you through - they were monsters.

“Just a little more, my dear.” One of the figures that held your arm sneered, the grip on your bicep tightening making you clench your jaw. You internally scoffed at this knowing well that it won’t be ‘just a little more’ with how long and how frequent it happened and will happen.

“She should be able to go through another round.” A voice, deeper than the feminine one from earlier, spoke up as you entered through the heavy double doors of a room - an operating theater you guessed from the setup. “Prep her.”

“Her vitals are stronger now.” The third person declared, their fingers flipping through the pages of the clipboard in their hands before glancing towards the monitor to one side of the room - an image of your anatomy on display with different colors corresponding to each system in your body.

“The less you struggle the faster this will be.” One of the doctors, the Geneticist, who dragged you to this hell hole hummed as she was met with resistance on your end while she strapped you down on the cold metal table, the leather rubbing your already raw skin.

Her patience with you was at a limit, she was close to just ending it - ending you. But they have already achieved so much with their craft that it would be such a waste of time and resource to start from square one.

“Remember,” The Pathologist warned as he walked closer to you once you were settled down. “The louder you scream, the more blood we take from you.”

The tears that fell from your eyes to the sides of your face tickled your ears at the threat, small whimpers coming from you were ignored.

“Might I remind you that the btch wakes up?” The Geneticist interrupted, irritation in her voice as she steadied your shaking right hand before inserting an IV cannula in a vein at the back of your hand and taping it in place. Looking up to her left, she reached for the device below one of the two bags that hung on the pole and unclamped its tube letting the mix of anxiolytic, hypnotic, and anticonvulsant start to flow down to you. She then turned her attention to the other bag beside it, a mix of amnestic, and myorelaxant drugs, and did the same - a near-perfect cocktail mix they specifically designed for you.

She reminded the other doctors that no matter how much benzos, relaxants, or other drug concoctions they pump in your veins, you will wake up in between operations screaming your head off while attempting to break free of the hold you are currently in. “No matter how much sedatives we put in her, her wolf is too strong-”

“It’s an animal-” The Surgeon spoke up.

“She’s an alpha, a pure one-” She argued again, almost growling at the hard-headedness of her co-doctors before she was cut off by the same person.

“An animal.” He spoke in finality. “We are humans - gods even! We are at the very top of the damned food chain.”

The room suddenly fell silent, your whimpers, the beeping of a monitor, and the hum of the machines somewhere in the room were the only things that could be heard as you started to feel the effects of the fluids injected into you.

The tension you felt from earlier began to leave your body just as your vision started getting cloudy, your eyelids feeling heavier by the minute. You didn’t notice the Pathologist holding up a syringe to the light, flicking the bubbles away with his middle finger and thumb a few times before the taste of rubber invaded your mouth with such force that hurt your lips, gums, and teeth.

The Surgeon that was above you, blocking the light for a few moments, had shoved the mouth guard in before he continued securing your head in the metal gear positioned above you. Your neck followed suit with a hard metal clamp attached to the table effectively locking you in place and soon, your whole body was completely immobilized with a loud click from the double lock clamps.

The tears continued to flow down the sides of your face as you fought the sleepiness, praying for this to just end. The dread of what is to come overwhelming you and making your body shake as much as the drugs and table’s hold on you would allow.

“I’m surprised the smart one hasn’t figured it out yet.” They exchanged small talk over your muffled screams as soon as you felt the sharp sting of a needle puncturing your skin and into your cervical spine; expelling whatever it was they created into your system for the nth time. Your ears hurt from the ringing in your head while your throat burned as the pain from the syringe radiated all over your body.

“I’m surprised her mate hasn’t.” The Geneticist replied with emphasis.

“My friends, let us not be complacent.” Their leader ended their conversation as he now concentrated on looking at the x-ray on the monitor showing the movement of the serum as it spread in you.

“We continue our routine - clean her up, wipe her to an extent and then return her. ” He added as he pushed more of the liquid in you with a press of a button by your head.

“Marcel, they will know, soon enough.” She pointed out. “She will start to have withdrawals if-”

“We won’t let that happen.”

~

Sneakers skidding on the floor as everyone seemed to scramble out of the way towards the door, eyes wide with fear looking at the figure in front of them.

“Y/N?”

“Alpha?”

Isaac watched as the massive wolf in front of them let out a deep growl with its teeth bared at the people that called her attention, the fur on her back and chest standing up making her look even bigger than she already is.

“Y/N,” Isaac knew that Deaton was the best person to handle all kinds of supernatural cases, hence, the title of Emissary to their pack. “It’s Deaton.”

Letting out another growl as you licked your lips, your tail flicked lowly behind you as your eyes darted to each person present in the room before landing back to one in particular who was too close for comfort.

“Y/N, hey,” His voice sounded softer, it almost made you feel a sense of comfort until his hand reached out to you and made you snap back and almost bite it off.

This instinctively made Scott pull Isaac back by his shirt to a safe distance, struggling a bit in his grasp as the beta did not want to be moved further away from you despite the situation.

“Isaac, move back,” Deaton warned when he noticed that the curly-haired werewolf was not backing down, a hand gesturing for him to move away from you. “She’s scared.”

“No, Deaton, she heard me. She’s there - Y/N,” Isaac argued before turning his attention back to you again, blue eyes already glassy as tears filled the rim of his eyes. “She heard me.”

Isaac tried to hold on to the hope that you were present underneath the wolf because he was sure he saw that familiar glimmer that was distinctly you.

Just as he attempted to reach out to you again with a whisper of your name on his lips, the same frequency you heard before rang in your ears making you seize up and drop to the ground.

“Agh! What is that?” Liam winced as his hands reached up to his head to cover his ears, eyes scrunching shut as he tried to will away the incessant ringing.

“What’s what?” Mason asked with confusion etched on his face as he looked at his friend then to Stiles and the others, the werewolves in the room in particular, doing the same.

Isaac did not care for the ringing he heard, witnessing you looking like you were being kicked or beaten as you struggled to stand up, the sound of pained screams, whines, and whimpers coming out of you pulled at his heart making him drop to his knees beside you.

His hands hovered over your form trying to figure out what to do while he avoided getting scratched by the large clawed paws that writhed with your body, Scott and Thor doing the same and looking over you trying to see where exactly were you hurting.

“Deaton,” Isaac called as he carefully placed his hand on your shoulder before hissing - you were burning up and the black color that coursed through his veins upon touching you wreaked of disease. “Deaton what do we do?!”

“What is that?” Thor asked in bewilderment as he saw what was happening with Isaac’s arms.

“Hold her still as much as you can,” The vet’s voice was calm despite the mess, going to one of the counters in the room and asking Stiles and Mason for assistance as he tried to collect what sounded like glass vials from the way it clinked in their hold.

Isaac heard Thor mutter an apology to his alpha as he tried to hold your hind legs down as much as he can, Scott doing the same by your torso and Isaac by your neck.

“Y/N,” Isaac continued to call for you as he tried to hold your front legs down. “It’s Isaac, baby - it’s me.”

“Hurry!” Scott called to Deaton as his eyes scrunched and a sheen of sweat already present on their foreheads, the ringing still present in their ears making it difficult for them to concentrate.

Just as Deaton returned and knelt by your side, carrying a stainless steel tray that contained what looked like multiple large syringes in it, the static ringing noise started to get louder making the supernatural beings in the room let out a pained groan and lose their grip on you.

It grew too much too quickly to bear, causing the lights and windows above your heads to shatter and engulf the room in darkness. As everyone ducked for cover, Isaac stayed by your side and tried to shield you from the onslaught of sharp glass descending on you.

It took a few moments before the ringing stopped and the feel of cold air entered the room, snapping them back to their senses as their eyes opened at the smell of blood it carried with it.

Isaac immediately sat up as he felt the cold tiled floor and not your warm body underneath him.

“Y/N,” was all he said before he sprinted out of the room, the others following behind him.

“How did she get out?” He heard Stiles behind him once they reached the outside of the clinic, Thor already looking around the perimeter of the establishment for any signs of you.

Isaac’s brain was running a hundred miles at what he saw and what had just happened inside, his lips quivering as he ran his hands through his hair and pulling at the roots in frustration. He sniffled as he tried to stop the tears from running down his cheeks with the heels of his hands. Exhaling, he closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing before turning to Scott.

“She’s not gone,” his alpha spoke, already reassuring him. “We’re going to find her.”

Just before Isaac could reply and shoot down the optimism his alpha had, a car screeched to a halt in front of them.

“Where is she?!” Lydia asked as she got out of the driver’s side, a frantic look in her bloodshot eyes.

“Hey, hey, what happened?” Stiles was immediately by her side, cupping her face in his hands. But Lydia only moved out of the way and turned to Isaac and asked again.

“We don’t know where she is. She disappeared right before Deaton -” Lydia was close to tears again as she groaned in frustration.

“They can’t get her back.” She said, sounding more of a beg as her voice shook a little.

Everyone in front of her stopped what they were doing and looked at the Banshee.

“Who’s they? And where do you think Y/N is?” Stiles asked before a few seconds later, realization hit him.

~

It was on the way to Eichen House that Lydia explained everything she saw that made her break all the traffic laws implemented in Beacon Hills just to rush to the vet clinic. Isaac could not shake the feeling that Lydia, a banshee – a herald of death, had visions of you in his arms already in eternal slumber. His wolf broke more than a little as she spoke more of what she saw, only a few words registering to him – Y/N, doctors, experiment, and torture.

Everything was a flash for Isaac now, he did not even realize that they were now in a tunnel under the mental facility planning on who was going where.

But once their strategy was laid out, Isaac wasted no time in trying to locate even the faintest of your scent in the damp and moldy tunnel he was walking through. He heard Stiles and Lydia speaking on the phone in his pocket that they'd found an office that had files strewn everywhere – files that specifically contained information about you and what they have done with you so far.

“Any luck finding her?” Lydia asked as Isaac heard papers being flipped on the other end of the line.

“Nope, not yet,” Liam replied.

“No, she’s not here.” Thor was next then Scott, all claiming to find only empty rooms and dungeons.

“Isaac?” Lydia asked after not hearing from him.

“None,” he answered, sounding defeated as he rounded another corner with you nowhere in sight.

Isaac could hear collective sighs as they continued their searches, his ears already drowning out what Lydia and Stiles were doing - occasionally spitting out questions of why’s as they continued to browse through what they found in the files.

His breathing became labored as his mind started to play tricks on him the further we walked down the tunnel, the source of light slowly fading the deeper he went.

Just as he was about to turn another corner, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He felt as though soft fingertips touched him, making his skin crawl as he turned around quickly only to find an empty space. But as he directed his attention to the other corner of the room, the colors on his face drained.

Amidst the mess of metal chains and torn blankets, Isaac watched closely as the figure on the floor took a raspy breath, eyes moving behind closed lids, lips mumbling incoherent words.

“Y/N?” Isaac slowly approached, the other members of the pack on the other line calling for his attention and asking if they heard him call your name.

At the sound of your name being called, your body went rigid. Your eyes flew open, widening as you saw a shadowy figure in front of you moving closer.

“Please, no more.” Your voice cracked from the overuse as you begged, the sound of heavy metal clinking together echoed in the empty room as you backed away slowly. “I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, please!”

Your frame quivered as you continued to plead, sweat mixed with blood trickled down your body as you attempted to make yourself smaller against the corner of the cell; failing from the sudden pain on the back of your neck that restricted you to move any further away from where you were.

“Y/N, it’s Isaac. I’m not going to hurt you.” Isaac ignored the voices over the phone calling for him, asking if he really found you. “You’re safe now, they’re not going to hurt you.”

Isaac almost expected for you to cower further away from him, but you didn’t – instead, you relaxed a little as his hand landed on the small of your back and the other on your shoulder effectively pulling you into an embrace.

As Isaac felt you release a breath before melting against his chest, his scent effectively calmed you down as your wolf recognized her other half. You both stayed like that for a while before he went back to examining you and what was behind you, more so what was attached to you.

Now, more diligent in his movements, his hands hovered over what seemed to be a tube attached to the back of your neck. He shifted in his kneeling position, careful not to jostle you, before taking his phone from his pocket.

“Something’s attached to her, I need to get it off-.” He informed more to Stiles and Lydia than to others present on the call.

“Don’t!” Lydia exclaimed, panicked at what Isaac was planning. “Not yet.”

“But she’s already hurting!” Isaac’s hands returned to your shoulder and back, holding you closer - as close as the tube permitted.

“That’s connected to her spine, Isaac,” Stiles added, warning him of what might happen. “If you remove it you might do some serious damage here.”

His attention turned back to you when he heard you whimper his name.

You were testing to see if Isaac was really there with you or if you were merely hallucinating again, not sure anymore of what was real after everything that happened to you for the past few years.

“Isaac?”

“Hi,” he smiled down when he pulled away from you a little, his voice shaking as he cupped your face in his hands. “I’m here.”

Your eyes focused on his face, blinking a few times before-

“No.”

That, he did not expect.

“No, no, no.” You mumbled repeatedly making Isaac more confused- were you not happy or relieved to see him with you?

“You shouldn’t be here.” As you came to your senses, you moved out of his grasp and pushed him away at the same time with the little strength you have left.

“Y/N, we came here for you. What are you talking about?” Isaac was hurt, you can see it in his face the way his brows furrowed and eyes already releasing a few tears down his cheeks.

Before you could answer back, the same ringing sounded again.

“Isaac, you have to go, please.” You cried, your own tears flowing down your cheek as you tried to pry his hands that held on to your wrists away, wanting to get out of his hold on you all the while fighting the heavy ache in your body to turn against your own will.

“Isaac, you have to get out of there!” You can hear Stiles over the phone, can hear Scott and the others running to where your werewolf was located.

“I’m not leaving her,” Isaac growled at them but his eyes stayed on you.

“You have to, plea-”

“Y/N!”

A blood-curdling scream left your lips as your body started to tremble on the floor, your bones were visibly breaking and morphing under your skin against your will yet again. The jagged edges of the broken bones breaking through skin and the movement causing purple and blue patches to decorate your flesh, all the while the liquid inside the tube that was still attached to you bubbled angrily.

“Isaac!”

Turning to the person who called his name, he suddenly felt himself being tugged down to the floor as the sound of electricity zipping past them blasted onto the steel bars of a small window on the wall overcame your pained screams.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” the static voice called.

“It’s the Dread Doctors.” Stiles’ voice over the phone can be heard, more papers can be heard being flipped and thrown somewhere. “They’re the ones doing this to Y/N.”

“I need to get it off of her!” Isaac spoke to the phone as he watched Thor lunge at one of the doctors in front of them, his clawed hand not holding back any hits he let out. Scott was next when another appeared much closer to where you and Isaac were.

Once your cries quieted down and your body settled down to small shakes - appeased from the onslaught of transforming against your will, Isaac’s hands hovered over the tube.

“You have to go before they hurt you.” It was barely a whisper when the words came out of your mouth, your body was getting too tired to fight it anymore.

“No, I’m not leaving without you, you know that.” Isaac spoke it with a voice that left no room for arguments as he held the tube in his hand and attempted to pull.

Isaac held back a sob as the screams you let out shattered through the noise of the grunts and punches being thrown. But before he could successfully pull it out, a force had hit him and sent him across the room hitting a wall with a loud thud.

“Near-perfect.” Another doctor, the same one who threw Isaac off of you, had appeared next to you with a device in his hand that, from the looks of it, controlled the tube that was pumping the liquid into you.

“Stop, please!” Your hands flew to the contraption attached to you just as Isaac charged at the doctor, sending them both to the ground.

Blinking away the heaviness of your eyelids, you tried to move from your position on the floor only to fall back down flat on your stomach. The wolf in you whined in panic, barking almost as she nudged you with her head to stand up - that you still had strength in you and she was there to anchor you herself.

“Give her back to me,” You can hear Isaac from across the room, the sight of him swiftly landing blow after blow at the doctor caught you off guard. The blood that ran down his temple to his eyes only added a level of intensity to his yellow glowing gaze as he gave a growl that had an unnerving timbre to it. “Now.”

On the other end of the room, you watch Scott claw at the doctor he was against before the mask fell off and revealed a face that was mottled, wrinkled, and scarred. If the true alpha was disgusted, he did not show it as he put his arms up to block the hit the doctor threw his way.

At the sound of a device dropping to the cemented floor, you felt the vibration of the tube behind you stop - the bubbles silencing as it halted its actions. This immediately cleared your head and relieved you of the pain, the fuzzy veil finally lifting as you took another deep breath and attempted to sit upright again.

Successfully sitting up with a few labored breaths accompanied by a wince, you lifted your aching arms and took hold of the tube attached behind you - the stinging feel of the needle made itself known as the small movement you made just from holding it jostled a little.

Taking a couple of ragged breaths again, trying to gather the courage and strength to pull the thing behind you when the air was suddenly knocked out of your lungs. The sensation of a sharp jab radiated from your side, the groan you let out echoed to the other end of the room making your eyes dart to where Isaac was.

“No,” you let out a gasp at the sight of your mate wide-eyed as he stared up at the doctor in front of him - the pain you felt on your side mirroring where the Surgeon’s swordcane embedded on Isaac’s side and giving it a twist for good measure. “Isaac!”

Your wolf’s painful yips turned to a low dangerous growl.

Feeling the familiar throb in your gums as your canines grew longer, you heard a banshee’s piercing scream all the way from the other wing of the Eichen house while a true alpha’s growl filled the place you were in.

“No more,” You say through clenched teeth, Thor’s knees buckling at the command in his alpha’s voice, Scott and the doctors they were up against stood in awe at the willpower you displayed.

“Perfect,” one of them said under their breath, the final push for perfection.

Finally standing tall, the tube attached to your neck earlier now clutched in your hand, you did not waste time as you took down each person who did you wrong.

Going for the closest antagonist in your life, Thor immediately scrambled out of your way as your claws wrapped around the Geneticists neck. You let your body move past her without letting go of your grip on her before using the momentum to lift the doctor up, the weight and force effectively disconnecting her head from the rest of her body before hurdling her to the Pathologist who was clambering away from Scott and the fight.

Everything was a blur to the other occupants of the room as you zipped past them and took down each one before you finally lunged at the Surgeon who finally released his grip on both his cane and on Isaac.

“My child-” he managed to say as your grip on his neck tightened, his feet barely touching the ground - your eyes glowing a dangerous color as you stared up at him.

You can finally see through the mask, raw pink flesh with stitches decorating it was what the steel mask protected. His mouth opened to say something but only a gurgled gasp came out as your other hand embedded itself in his chest and pierced through skin and muscle. You felt your wolf puffing up with pride and anger - you were their greatest creation and downfall.

Silence enveloped the room as the lead doctor took his last breath before you haphazardly threw him to the ground.

With his nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed, Isaac pulled the swordcane out of him. His jaw clenching before he let out a pained groan at the feel of the weapon sliding out before leaning heavily against the brick wall while clutching his side.

Your attention was immediately drawn to your other half, managing to wipe off some of the blood on your hand before tending to him.

“Hey,” Isaac greeted as he tried to not lean all his weight to you as you wrapped your arms around his waist, careful not to touch the stab wound on his side. You felt tears playing at the edge of your lashes as you buried your face against his chest, the scent signifying home.

“Can’t really ask you if you’re okay,” You managed to say once you pulled away and looked up at him.

“You’re one to talk,” Isaac replied with a chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

You smiled, wiping the stray tear that ran down your cheek with the back of your hand as Isaac’s lips returned to your forehead for another kiss.

“Y/N, look-”

“No!”

A loud bang and the pain that came with it suddenly broke the bubble of peace you were in.

Clutching you to his chest, you saw the same confused expression that reflected on Isaac’s eyes before they darted from you to where the smell of gunpowder was coming from.

The Pathologist’s hand shook as he held the gun up, a crazed look in his eyes as he attempted to stand up from being buried under his colleague's lifeless body. He muttered incoherent words as he aimed the gun at you again.

But before he can pull the trigger, another loud thud took you all by surprise as you witnessed the man fall down flat on his face.

“Damn.” Lydia was behind him with a bloodied metal bat clutched in her hands - Stiles’ hands were up in the air, his eyes were wide as if he couldn’t believe his girl just did that.

“Well mark me down as scared and horny,” Stiles muttered under his breath, his brain replaying the moment Lydia all but took off with his metal bat and ran down the hall as fast as her heels allowed her to where they were now.

~

“Thank you, Thor.” You hugged the larger-built werewolf, his arms wrapping around you tightly but still being mindful of your current state. “But I don’t think I’m fit to be your alpha - to be the pack’s alpha anymore.”

“I will never understand how you and the others accepted me after what had happened.” Your feet dangled as you sat on a bricked fence outside of the Eichen house, the jacket from Isaac wrapped around you securely to act as a buffer against the coolness of the night.

You can hear Thor’s wolf whine at your words, his face already reflecting the sadness you both felt at what you were doing as he leaned against the fence you were sitting on.

“Alpha, please don’t discredit yourself.”

You looked up at him, not really believing his words with how much damage you’ve done to the pack - to your family.

“You are more than worthy - especially at your age.” He added, pointing out that most of the alphas out there were a hundred years older than you. “You are strong.”

“Thank you, again - for everything,” your lips quivered as you gave your best smile before glancing up to try and prevent the tears from spilling down your cheeks. The thought of leaving your pack broke your heart, they were family. But you needed to have someone better to lead and handle pack-related things -- you needed to recover.

A comfortable silence settled around the two of you before you heard Stiles and Isaac walking towards you.

“Jeep’s good to go, big guy.” Stiles said - more to Thor than you - with a tilt of his head to gesture to where they were parked as Isaac helped you to your feet and walked you towards Lydia’s car.

“You okay?” Isaac asked softly as you both settled in the back seat.

His eyes double-checked the graze on your shoulder from the bullet that hit you, his arms never leaving your side as he let you lean on him - exhaustion already catching up to you with the way your body sagged against his.

No, not really. You wanted to say as he only tugged you closer to him, the drive to Deaton being quieter save for the soft tunes the radio played.

“I will be.”

~~~

Isaac didn’t know what exactly woke him up.

Staring back at the ceiling, his ears strained to hear bed sheets rustling beside him. With the little light that passed through the curtains of the room you shared, he ran his hands down his face before turning to his bedside.

His eyes squinted when his phone awoke and flashed the time, 3:01AM it read - the phone’s screen showed a picture of the two of you together during a weekend picnic Lydia had arranged a few weeks ago. You had your eyes closed and lips smiling - a genuine smile after so long - against his neck as he had his arms wrapped around you tightly while he made a face to the camera.

Isaac stared at his phone’s lock screen a few moments longer before movement on his side and the feel of cold skin touching his leg took him out of his reverie.

Putting his phone back on the nightstand, he curled back down the covers and turned to face you. For someone who’s a warm-blooded supernatural creature themself, you sure have cold feet.

Isaac cupped your face before tucking a stray hair behind your ear, you were lying on your stomach facing him with your hands tucked just a little under your pillow. You were still in deep sleep but it did not look as peaceful as he remembered - your brows were furrowed, your lips moved as if mumbling something and an occasional hand twitch was what he observed.

“Y/N?” Isaac asked, his voice croaked from the lack of use as he leaned on his elbow and tried to coax you awake.

It didn’t take too long before Isaac finally understood what you were saying.

Please, no more...p-please.

Leaning over your side of the bed, Isaac flicked the switch to your bedside lamp open and tried to call for you again. He could now see the thin layer of sweat on your forehead, the sheets bunching up in your grasp as your knuckles turned a lighter shade from how tight your grip was.

I can’t t-take it anymore...

“Hey, baby,” Isaac gently ran his hand down your back a few times, trying not to ‘jolt’ you awake. He knew what methods to use in waking you up when things like these happen, though it took multiple trials and errors with a few bumps - more or less scratches - in the way. But god, he’d take you screaming and lashing out at him any day than this.

I’m sorry, I won’t do it again...

“Y/N, please wake up for me.”

It broke his heart more at the thought that while you were already together, even if in that span of time you were simply friends at first, they’ve already done a multitude of things to you.

“Y/N, I’m here - you’re safe.” He tried again, the soft kiss to your temple lingering a little longer in hopes that it might help - let you sense that he was present and you were not in danger anymore.

“Y/N, no one’s gonna hurt you,” He spoke softly.

Covering your clenched hand with his, it was all it took before your eyes flew open with a sharp gasp of air. It took some strength and swiftness from Isaac to hold your wrists when you sat up so fast - almost bumping his chin in the process - that you almost fell out of the shared bed.

“Hey, hey,” He called for you, your eyes were dilated, blown wide and looking around frantically as if you were searching for the threat that plagued your life a year ago and giving you these night terrors that prevented you from having a good night’s sleep.

“I’m here, you’re safe.” He repeated, waiting for you and not letting go.

“Isaac,” He waited a little more before you finally settled down and realized where you were, your voice shook a little as you spoke his name; eyes glassy as you looked at the familiar blue eyes that called for you.

“I’m here.” Isaac gave a small smile as his hold on your wrist loosened before sliding his hands in yours and holding onto them on your lap - the soft yellow light from your bedside lamp gave his face a soft glow; his eyes looking more kinder that it already was.

Not again. Your lips trembled as you held back a sob, you shook your head as you stared down at your joined hands.

You felt trapped.

That was the only thing you felt and you wanted out, you wanted this to stop; you want an end to this thing happening to you - you don’t deserve the man in front of you.

Having known you for so long, Isaac can already see it on your face, he already anticipated it.

“I love you,” He spoke.

Absolutely no room for arguments, “I won’t leave you.”

You felt Isaac’s hands rest on your hips as you withdrew yours from his hold and tried to stop and wipe as many tears as you could with the heel of your hands. He let you lean your head on his shoulder, the feel of his lips placing a comforting kiss to your ear should’ve given your heart a little leap but it didn’t.

“How much longer will you tell me that before you finally get tired?” You did not mean to say it out loud, you hiccupped once your tears finally settled down with your head and heart.

“Never,” Isaac said as he pushed you away a little to look at you, cupping your face in his warm hands to make you look up at him, a glint of playfulness present. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You could only sigh and give a soft smile.

“You’re too good for me, Isaac.”

Bringing your hands to his lips to kiss your knuckles, he let them go before cupping your face again and leaned down to plant a kiss on your forehead, then your nose and lastly a chaste kiss on your lips.

“You deserve good things, Y/N.”

You deserve them after everything you went through. Isaac gave that smile he reserved only for you when he pulled away.

Lying back down, Isaac pulled you closer to him before pulling the covers up just below your chin.

“We’ll be okay, remember?” Isaac reminded you of the words you said to him when he asked you a year ago.

You did not miss the way he said ‘we.’ You did remember what he told you, that you were in this together - you’re it for me.

“I remember,” you answered, curling as close as you can to his side. The tip of your nose resting against the warm skin of his neck as he rest his chin on top of your head, arms tightening around you before they relaxed.

~

Feedbacks are always appreciated! Especially since I miss writing. But again, I won't be doing much writing anymore since I've somewhat lost touch with both my imagines blogs. I might just rewrite/refurbish some of my old imagines/drabbles.

Again, thank you so much for those who stuck by this imagines blog (and for Brett as well). You don't know how much I appreciate it, again, I'm sorry for not being active (read more here)

[padfootagain]

Grumpy

Hi everyone! I'm back with a very cute little drabble for Christmas! We're one week away from Christmas, and I'll try to post a few of those little drabbles before the 25th!

This is a very cute, grumpy Ben with a cold! I hope you like this!

A little comment is greatly appreciated, if you have a second to spare!

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Word Count : 1672

Ben was grumpy.

It wasn't in his nature, and it wasn't in his character at all. He was a rather shy, goofy and quite adorable man with a mischievous sense of humour most of the time. There were only a few instances that brought him to a more bitter state of mind: the remnants of a hangover in the early morning, being stuck in traffic for a long time, and being sick.

And now, Ben was sick.

Nothing dramatic, but a seasonal cold that would have disappeared in a few days. But for the moment, Ben was in the dark phase of the disease.

A runny nose, a sore throat that was sometimes scratched with a rough cough, fever and a migraine that made him feel like someone was piercing his skull with needles. He had no energy for anything and was stuck in his bed, under a pile of blankets and pillows you had brought for him.

And it would have been bearable, had you been there with him to distract him from his miserable state, give him cuddles and bring him regular doses of his favourite tea. But you were at work, and he had to survive four more hours without you. And the more time he spent on his own, the grumpier he became.

It was snowing outside upon London, large snowflakes brightening the days of children and turning the old city into something a little enchanted, a little magical. Low clouds almost as white as the snowflakes they released hovered lazily above the tall buildings and worn-out stones, businessmen hurrying under the cold weather while the more innocent kinds carved faces for snowmen and threw snowballs at their friends. Cars of those reckless enough to try to drive through the city under this weather honked loudly, punctuating the rhythm of the city that never slowed down, especially at the approach of the holidays. And Ben would have loved the spectacle it offered, had he moved to his window to glimpse at the outside world. He would have dragged a chair by the window, and enjoyed a warm cup of coffee while watching peacefully as the snowflakes fell in his garden. Or perhaps, had you been there, he would have enjoyed looking at strangers running down the slippery street, imagining with you crazy lives for these people he didn't know. You would have found an astronaut in their midst for sure, you always did, for some reason. Ben's theory was that it was because of how much you loved the stars.

But again, you were not there, he was alone in your shared home with a buzzing brain that was slowly turning into jelly, and sore limbs, and a nose that wouldn't allow him to breathe. And now, the snow annoyed him, the cold weather the cause of his pain, after all.

He checked the time again, and heaved a desperate sigh as he counted – with much difficulty – how many more hours he had to survive through without you. He had never cursed your job more than now, as he grumpily mumbled a string of curses under his breath, wrapping himself even more in his blankets until the only part of him still visible was his forehead and messy dark hair.

He counted the minutes till you'd be back to fall back to sleep, and he spent most of his afternoon tossing around, somewhere between sleep and reality, in a daze that wasn't peaceful and didn't bring to his tired frame any rest. He reached for a book after a couple of hours, but the words written on the page required from him way too much concentration and his migraine got worse after only a couple of pages, so he discarded the item once again. He checked the time one more time.

He had two hours left.

He made an almost-unbearable effort to extract himself from the covers and finally head for the shower, figuring that some warm water would help.

And it did. The shower gave him enough energy to carry his set of pillows and blankets to the sofa instead, moving his mess to the living-room so he could watch some stupid things on the TV.

He spent most of the rest of his time alone watching some old episodes of Columbo, keeping an eye on the time while he waited for you, hoping you wouldn't be delayed by the snow on your way home, his mood darkening some more at the mere thought.

And when you finally walked in your shared home, Ben couldn't refrain a relieved sigh.

He waited for the sound of your keys to drop on the little bowl by the door, for the sound of the shuffling of fabric as you took off your scarf, beanie, gloves and coat, and finally the thud sound of your shoes being kicked off. Finally, the muffled thumping of your footsteps on the wooden floor echoed through the hall, and you appeared by his side, your hair a little wet because of the snow, but you still seemed warm and cosy in your warm jumper.

"How are you feeling, baby?" you asked in a soft voice, tilting your head in wonder, and Ben swore that he had never seen anything cuter in his life.

He let out a groan, pouting dramatically.

"I feel awful," he mumbled, letting out a grumpy growl and holding his cover closer to him.

You sat down by his side on the sofa, and rested the back of your hand against his forehead.

"You still have fever, babe," you told him in the softest voice you could muster, your fingers sliding from his forehead to his hair, soothingly travelling through the dark strands. "Have you taken a shower?"

He nodded, before sneezing very loudly, the noise echoing throughout the room, and letting out a frustrated groan.

"I hate being like this," he pouted.

"I know, love. But you need to rest to get better, that's all we can do. I'm gonna make you some tea with honey, it'll help, okay?"

You were about to get up when he quickly grabbed your wrist, pulling you back to your seat gently. The quick gesture seemed to exhaust him even more, but he didn't mind, for once.

"No, stay. You'll do that later."

"It would be good for you…"

"No, please. Please stay with me. I've waited for you all day. Just… stay."

His eyes were watery because of his cold, and his nose all red, and his cheeks flushed with fever, and he was poutier than ever, buried under three blankets. There was simply no way for you to say no to him.

And it was unsaid, right now, but it wasn't hard to read in his eyes that he meant to add I love you to his plea.

So, you settled properly in the sofa, opening your arms for him to snuggle into your side.

He heaved a sigh, finally relaxing, as he tucked his head in the crook of your neck.

"I hope you don't get sick holding me like that," Ben mumbled into your skin, his voice muffled and barely audible, but you were so used to his voice by now that it wasn't hard for you to decipher what he was whispering.

You smiled a tender smile, that he couldn't see and that you barely noticed yourself as it formed across your lips, but it didn't matter. It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular anyway. It was just how he made you feel all the time.

"Well, if I do catch your cold, you'll have to nurse me back to health too, then," you replied, making him chuckle, his first laughter of the day.

"That's a deal. Besides, I'm gonna be a little selfish here, but I need you too much now to really care if you get sick or not."

It was your time to laugh, and your heart was filled with love as you did so, the bright sound illuminating the whole room.

"Well, you're feeling very bad, so, I won't hold that selfish act against you," you reassured him, and Ben closed his eyes as you started running your fingers in his dishevelled hair again.

"Thanks. Because I really do feel awful."

You hummed, focusing on the TV before you, but only for a moment, as Ben spoke again. He had missed your voice too much during the day, after all. And if having you in his arms was already working wonders on his mood, still, he wanted you all to himself, and you seemed to give way too much interest to the crime show on TV.

"How was your day, baby?" he asked in a hoarse voice, before he would be shaken by a cough.

"It was okay, a bit long," you admitted as Ben settled back into your arms.

"Tell me everything that happened, please?" he asked, looking up at you with puppy eyes, and you could only let out a fond chuckle as you kissed his forehead and proceeded to tell him everything about your day at work.

"Well, Marjorie broke the coffee machine this morning, which was undoubtedly a good odd for the rest of the day!"

You went on for a long time, sometimes slowing down to a stop when Ben's eyes remained closed for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep, but he kept on asking you to continue then, his eyes still closed, so you did. He did fall asleep though, once you had finished your story and settled back in a comfortable silence with him nestled in your arms. You didn't mind, despite your position growing a little uncomfortable after a while. You watched TV while Ben caught up on some most needed sleep, a soft snore coming out of him once in a while making you smile fondly at him.

Yes, Ben was grumpy when he was sick. But then again, sometimes, he wasn't that grumpy, even if sick, for as long as he had you.

************************************************************

Taglist :  @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet@notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky@snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity@i-padfootblack-things  @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi​@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony​@geeksareunique​ @giggleberts​ @sad-orange-thoughts​ @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla​ @madamrogers​ @drinix​ @joelynnp @mxrihollxnd @rockintensse​ @newtstarmander​ @iammadeofstarsandlazyness @shinebrightlikeafanbase​ @wangmangagavroche​@presstocontinue @ilmiopiccolounivers0​

[joshsandersons]

three am - kirby dach

requested: yes/no

a/n: yes hello i finally sat down and wrote something, also as i was writing i realized i ended up changing the request a bit, so i apologize for that. this is my first fic too soooo, i do be really nervous to post this tho LOL, it’s not too long, but it’s still a lil something. a HUGE shoutout to @perpetually-anxious​ for proofreading and helping me edit this too, thank you so much. anyways, enjoy :)

word count: 1.2k

pairing: kirby dach x reader 

warnings: takes place in & talks about the pandemic

tagging: @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @nolpatts @jdrysdales

When Kirby injured his wrist at the world juniors, he was devastated, and so were you. He was so excited to have been named captain, and yet it all came crashing down before the tournament had even started. Learning he would most likely be out for the season was just as terrible, at least for him. And yes, you knew it was probably selfish, but you liked knowing he was at home and safe from the infectious disease currently running rampant around the world. With cases of covid skyrocketing, you didn’t want anything else to happen to him. So, you being the protective person you are, basically locked him in the house with you. Neither of you left the house unless it was to get groceries, or go for a drive because you couldn’t stand being in the house anymore.

And honestly, everything was going pretty great. Although it was extremely stressful, you were thankfully still able to keep up with your schoolwork. The stress of exams was even worse now, but you were able to get through it and now taking extra advantage of the three week break you have before the start of your second term.

As much as you loved having Kirby home, there were times where it could get a bit annoying; and this was one of them. You were laying in bed, catching up on sleep... or at least trying to. As soon as your head hit the pillow, you fell asleep and managed to stay that way for a couple of hours. That is, until all of a sudden, you felt someone poking you.

“Hey, (Y/N). Wake up.” You hear as you begin to gain consciousness, opening your eyes you look at the clock on your bedside table and see the time reads 2:47 in the morning. With a sigh, you close your eyes agin. “Kirby, it’s almost 3 in the morning, go to bed.”

“But I can’t sleep, and I’m bored.” He whines while continuing to poke you, “Please babe, I promise to let you sleep in as long as you want in the morning, if you wake up now.”

With another sigh, you finally open your eyes and turn around to face him, “Okay fine. I’m awake now.” Smiling down at you, he kisses your forehead and then proceeds to get up. “Perfect, now let’s go on a little adventure!”

“Babe, it’s 3 in the morning and I literally just woke up less than 5 minutes ago, do you really expect me to jump out of bed to go with you?” You ask, while looking at him in disbelief, “I would also like to point out we’re in the middle of a pandemic and you have a broken wrist, so what exactly are we going to do?”

“We’re just gonna go on a walk to the corner store to pick up some stuff, and then we’ll come back here. It’s nothing too big.” He replies while walking out of the bedroom, “I’ll be waiting for you in the living room!”

With a long groan, you force yourself out of bed to get changed into something more suitable for the store. After you’ve finally changed, you grab your mask and keys off the bedside table and walk out to the living room to join your boyfriend. “Alright, I’m ready to venture off into the freezing cold with you, to go pick up who knows what at the store.”

Laughing, he gets up from the couch to grab your coat and gives it to you, “Thank you baby, I appreciate it.” You both put on your coats and then make your way out into the cold Chicago air and begin your walk to the store. 

After a short freezing cold walk, which you’re surprised you didn’t get frostbite on, you arrive at the store and right away Kirby is rushing around picking up various different items. Mostly picking up chocolate and candy, but also pancake mix. Meanwhile, you’re just following him around in confusion, wondering why he needed to do this now, at some ungodly hour of the morning, when the both of you could be lying comfortably in bed and at the very least, trying to sleep. After what seems like forever, but in reality is just five minutes, he’s done with his little shopping spree and after he’s paid for everything, you guys finally head back home. 

Walking back into your apartment, you both take your coats and masks off and then take turns washing your hands. Once you put your things away, you turn around and see your boyfriend getting various items down from the cabinets. Smiling to yourself, you finally realized why you ended up going to the store so late.

“Why do I have a feeling you had a sudden craving for pancakes, and that’s why we ended up going on our little adventure so late?” You ask as you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your forehead on his back. 

He turns around and wraps his arms around you as he answers, “Yeah, you’re right... You gonna help me make them?” Looking up at him, you give him your biggest smile, “Well, considering the fact that you only have one good hand, of course I am.”

You guys get to work making them. With the lights being kept off, the only light illuminating the room were the streetlights outside and the faint glow from the fridge that was being kept open. Thankfully managing not to make too much of a mess, the pancakes were made and you guys decided to sit on the floor as you ate them.

All of a sudden, Kirby gets up, picking up all the plates to put them in the sink, and then turning around, he extends his hand to help you up and pulls you into his arms. He looks down at you and smiles, “I love you, so much.” He whispers into your ear. Looking up and smiling back up at him, “I love you too.”

In the minimal lighting around you, you both sway back and forth, your head resting on his chest. It’s quiet between you guys for a moment, until your boyfriend decided to speak up again, “I just want to say thank you, for everything. I know it’s hard doing online school and being stuck in the house, and I know I haven’t exactly been the most calm person to be with right now, but you still have done everything you can to help me out and I appreciate it, so much.”

Smiling to yourself, you look back up at him, “Of course, I’m not just gonna leave you hanging. And I don’t care how much you may annoy me sometimes, I’d rather you be safe and at home with me, especially since I can make sure you won’t do anything that could injure you more.” He smiles back and kisses you softly, and then suddenly he’s twirling you around and you guys are bursting out in joyful laughter.

You two dance around the kitchen, the fridge still open and illuminating your little dance floor, giving each other soft kisses and whispers of affection, you decide that you can catch up on your sleep later, and decide to dance around until the sun starts to rise.

And as you’re laughing and dancing, you realize nothing else matters, except for the man in front of you.

[for-dogs-and-flowers]

painful kind of love

Group: Seventeen

Pairing: Joshua x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, hanahaki au

Word Count: 2,158 (oops)

A/N: I’m sorry if this sucks, I really don’t know how to write fics and this is only my second time posting one. Once again, moodboard made by me (but the pics aren’t mine obv) I also never know how to end stories and I kinda rushed the last bit so forgive me pls!!!

It all started with a flower shop. It was a quaint little store hidden on the corner of a quiet street. By train it was a twenty minute ride, but to you it was worth the trip for the flowers. They had the biggest selection you had ever seen and the scent when you walked in always swept you off your feet. It was sweet and calming, but delicate enough to not overwhelm the senses. You loved it, and so did someone else. He was there often, and you had seen him many times before. You heard the worker thank him one day, his name was Joshua. He was handsome, and sunlight that filtered through the windows of the store made his skin glow. His gaze was gentle, and his voice was too. It was hard not to notice him. And for him, it was hard not to notice you. He snuck glances as you walked down the rows of flowers. He told himself he shouldn’t feel this way. You were a stranger, and yet he couldn’t help it. He was drawn to you and it was about time he made an effort to get to know you. He had planned it all out. He would start with a comment about your choice of flowers. Something along the lines of how you had good taste. He’d tell you his name, and you’d tell him yours. But of course the universe likes to mess with plans.

He hadn’t noticed you come in that day. He heard the chimes of the door opening but couldn’t bother to look as his eyes wandered over the flowers before him. They had just been misted and the water droplets glistened on their delicate petals. He took a step back and that’s when he met you. He turned to apologize for bumping into whoever was behind him, and when his eyes met yours his breath caught in his throat. Panic. His plan crumbled before him as he apologized rather awkwardly, stumbling over his words.

“Sorry! Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” he finally managed to breathe.

“No, it’s okay.” You flashed a nervous smile and he could’ve melted in that moment. There was a pause and you wondered if it would be weird to say his name, but already the words were coming out. “Joshua, right?” You knew his name. He didn’t know yours.

“Yes,” he managed to regain some composure. He looked at you expectantly.

“I’m y/n.” You held out a hand and he took it gladly. He didn’t miss the fact that it fit perfectly in his. Maybe bumping into you wasn’t so bad after all. The two of you fell into conversation with ease, as if you had known each other your entire lives.

A few months pass by and just like that you became best friends. Your free time now consisted of trips to the flower shop with Joshua, café excursions, and late night walks with deep conversations. His feelings for you continued to grow, but you almost seemed stuck in place. You had been hurt before, he learned, and the damage caused you to build high walls to protect your heart. He could see that, and he wanted to be patient with you. He would show you how to love again. He thought he had all the time in the world to do so, and then it happened.

You were at your favorite café, Joshua was seated across from you and things had seemed fine until he stood abruptly, clutching his stomach. Before you could ask what was happening he had run into the bathroom, throwing open the stall door and standing near the toilet. His stomach had been bothering him for a week now, but he brushed it off as nothing. A cough escaped and that’s when he felt it. He opened his mouth and a baby pink petal floated down into his palm. It took him a moment to register what had just happened, and even then he didn’t want to believe it. No no no no. He knew his feelings for you were strong, but he had been hesitant to call it love and now it didn’t really matter what he called it. The flowers blooming inside him told him everything he needed to know; he loved you and you didn’t feel the same. He was in a panic now as another cough seized his body followed by more petals. He pulled out his phone and quickly called his friend.

“Jeonghan?” He was breathing hard now as panic set in. “I need you to come get me.”

“What’s happening? What’s wrong? I thought you were with y/n?”

“I am!” He sounded distressed now but was trying to hold it together. “Please, I’ll explain everything later, just come get me.”

“Text me the location, I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

Joshua could feel the discomfort in his throat as he headed back out to you. Thankfully he hadn’t been gone as long as it had seemed, and he came back to find you happily scrolling through your phone. “Hey,” he sounded calmer than he was.

“Is everything okay?” You set your phone down, the look of concern making him smile despite his discomfort.

“Of course, I’m just not feeling well suddenly.” He didn’t want to lie to you, but he also felt like he couldn’t tell you what was happening. “I’m really sorry. I called my roommate to come get me. I think it’s best if I get some rest for now.”

“It’s okay! We can reschedule when you’re feeling better again,” you offered a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t watch the movie without you even though you’re ditching me,” you teased. You gave him a hug goodbye and made sure to tell Jeonghan to take good care of him for you. You wanted your best friend healthy again. Joshua cringed at the word “friend” as they drove away.

He waited until they were back at their apartment before trying to explain what was happening and just as he was about to spill everything, a coughing fit seized him. He made sure to catch the petals despite the pain he was in and once it passed, he held out his open palm to Jeonghan.

“Did you eat flowers?” Jeonghan laughed.

“What? No!” Joshua rolled his eyes and tossed the petals in the bin. “It’s serious Jeonghan. It means I love her and she doesn’t feel the same.” He took a seat on the couch next to his friend and buried his head in his hands, now trying to suppress coughs and tears. “It’s called hanahaki disease,” he mumbled.

“That’s not real.”

“Tell that to the flowers growing in my lungs then,” Joshua groaned. “What do I do?” His voice was a whisper now, and it cracked as he tried to contain his emotions. He heard Jeonghan tapping on his phone, but he already knew the answers to what his friend was searching for. He didn’t have the heart to voice it, so he let his friend read through quietly.

“Did you tell her?” Jeonghan finally spoke up.

“No. I can’t. If she ever ends up having feelings for me, I want it to be natural, not out of pity or anything else.” He sat a moment longer, breathing and thinking of what to do.

“You can get the flowers removed.” He sat his phone on the coffee table and Joshua a reassuring pat on his back. He could tell his friend wasn’t okay, as his whole body shook under his hand.

“I have time, right?” He looked at his friend who just shrugged in return. “I just have to keep showing her that I won’t hurt her.”

“You might not have enough time to do that. Besides what if…” Jeonghan didn’t want to say it, but it was a possibility that perhaps Joshua was overlooking in his panic. “What if she never feels that way toward you?”

“I have to try.” He felt the discomfort in his throat again and headed toward the bathroom, knowing what was to come now. Regardless of how bad it got he had to, because you were worth it to him.

So he kept trying, although it was more difficult now with his frequent trips to the bathroom to throw up flowers. You knew something was wrong with how often he was running off, but you didn’t want to pry. Your outings were replaced by hangouts at your places with movies, pizza, and lots of fluffy blankets. You still enjoyed your time together, but his disease always seemed to get worse when you were close by. Eventually he was struggling to breathe, and the pain of the flowers coming up was nearly unbearable. Of all the flowers it had to be roses. The thorns began to claw at his throat, leaving it raw and painful. The two of you stopped seeing each other as often, and you missed him.

It wasn’t like Joshua to not respond, and it had now been twenty four hours. You hadn’t seen him all week and now he wasn’t answering. Your heart raced as you threw on a hoodie and some shoes, running out the door. Surely he was okay right? If anything had happened Jeonghan would be there to help, right? You bent over in front of his door, breathing hard from your unexpected jog. If he was fine he was going to pay for making you run all this way, you thought. Your hand hit the door harder than you had expected, and a few seconds later your eyes met Joshua’s. He looked exhausted and frail, but his smile still had the familiar warmth that it always did. He invited you in but he seemed reluctant to do so.

“What’s happening?” The distress in your voice evident. “Come on Josh, you can tell me anything.” You took a step toward him but stopped when bent over coughing and dry heaving. He couldn’t hide all the petals and flowers that were coming out now. You scooped up a few that had landed softly on the floor. Beautiful baby pink dotted with spots of blood.

“Y/n I-“ Before he could get anything else out your head was buried in his chest and your arms were wrapped tightly around him. His arms instinctively closed around you and he rested his head on yours.

“What’s happening?” you repeated, but this time softer as tears escaped you.

I…I don’t want to explain, and I’m sorry. I know it might not make sense but I can’t do it.” His voice was hoarse and now he was on the verge of crying. He desperately wanted to tell you and he knew he was running out of time, but he didn’t want to have any influence on your feelings like that.

“Please,” you were begging and sobbing now. “Please Joshua, I love you, just tell me what’s going on,” you cried. He forgot how to breathe for a moment and you felt him go rigid in your arms. You pulled back and wiped your tears away, but Joshua brought you right back into his chest.

“Did you mean that? What you said just now.” You were afraid to tell him, but his voice was soft and reassuring.

“Yes,” you sniffled. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I was holding myself back and I was scared.” You took a deep breath, trying to stabilize your shaking voice. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but after not seeing you or hearing from you I was afraid and I knew I had to tell you.” You were afraid of rejection now, but to your surprised he kissed the top of your head and held you even tighter.

“I love you too,” he whispered. He took a step away from you as he felt a cough coming, more flowers fell from his lips and he winced in pain. “That should stop soon, I hope.”

“Hanahaki?”

“You know what this is?” He was shocked, but maybe he shouldn’t have been since he knew you loved flowers so much. You nodded.

“It’s my fault your throwing up flowers everywhere.” Your tears had stopped but you didn’t feel much better. “I’m sorry it took me so long.” Your eyes met Joshua’s as he grabbed your hands and entwined his fingers with yours.

“Don’t apologize. It should go away soon. I just need to get the rest out.”

“Maybe they didn’t hear me.” You leaned closer to his stomach and yelled, “I love Joshua Hong so you can go away now!” He laughed and gently brought your head back up.

“I feel better already,” he grinned.

“Well just in case I think you might need some food and a nap before you’re completely cured.”

“Of course, doctor y/n. Anything else?” You were both grinning like idiots now. Cute idots.

“Maybe some cuddles and kisses?”

“I’d love that.”

[happybirthdayalex-lokilovesya]

Loki x Reader with hakanaki disease

So, I saw this [x] [x] post and after thinking for a moment, I concluded that no one should be sad about some quizzes being made poorly, ESPECIALLY when it’s their birthday! And so, I decided to write this little something for @amorathegamingkitsune​, hope you don’t mind... This might feel kind of rushed but that’s because I wanted to make it a birthday gift as well! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX, YOU’RE AMAZING AND I ADORE YOU!! Also a quick warning, I don’t have much experience writing hakanaki disease and it’s been a while since I last wrote about Loki, but I still tried my very best. Now, onto the story...

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You sat on the couch of your small apartment, wrapped up in a blanket and staring at the TV in front of you with sorrow in your eyes. Next to you, a box of tissues sat, under your legs was a trash can you used to dispose of the used ones, and all around you, it was possible to find flower petals. Funny, how you always liked roses when you were younger and now they would probably be the end of you...

Just as another episode of the show you were re-watching begun, you heard your from door swing opened and almost immediately slam shut. Immediately on high alert, you jumped up and after struggling to catch your balance for a moment, you managed to stumble towards the hallway, expecting to see a burglar or something. However, the moment you glanced inside your heart skipped a couple of beats and your eyes widened.

By your front door, stood a man you never thought you’d meet in person. He was tall, had long, black hair, beautiful green eyes, and was wearing very fancy clothes. There was no way of denying, it was definitely Loki. The man you never got to meet before, but loved so much that it could kill you. Your mind immediately filled with millions of questions, ‘Is this real?’, ‘What is he doing here?’, ‘How come he looks even better in person-’, but before you could ask any of them, he noticed you. He quickly put his finger to his lips, shushing you.

“They’re after me,” he whispered, and judging by the voices you’ve heard coming from the stairs you could assume that he was talking about a couple of Avengers.

You were too shocked to even answer, so you just watched as the God made his way further into your apartment. You stepped back, letting him into the living room and following him with your gaze. He stepped inside and looked around, ignoring the mess on your couch and paying more attention to how your interior was decorated. Especially to that one big poster of him that hanged on your wall. He shot you an amused look and you felt your cheeks heat up.

“Your house looks decent,” he chuckled, but it seemed like he was actually impressed. You could feel new flowers form in your lungs, but tried to stop yourself from coughing them up in front of him. The last thing you needed is him getting disgusted with you.

“Uh, t-thank you, s-sir,” you blurted out, struggling to accept that he was actually there. Your reaction seemed to only amuse him more, since he walked over to you with a smirk.

“I am Loki, of Jotunheim,” he proudly introduced himself, holding out his hand for you to shake. You might’ve as well fainted right there and then.

“I-I’m [y/n], j-just a human-” you answered, barely managing to make the words leave your throat. You carefully took his hand and it dawned on you that he was really there. He chuckled, the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, and stepped back, finally turning to see the mess of tissues and flowers on the couch.

“Had a rough date?” he assumed, looking at you with raised eyebrows. You could feel the flower petals scratching your throat already, but hoped that you’d soon get a chance to excuse yourself.

“N-no, I’m single actually...” you muttered quietly. This actually seemed to confuse him. He glanced between you and the couch, your nervousness seemingly making the flowers easier to choke on.

“Is that so? Why are there rose petals all around here, then?” he asked you, piercing you with those lovely eyes. You wanted to answer, but before any words left your mouth you went into a coughing fit, bending over and trying to cover your lips to stop him from seeing.

“S-sorry-” you managed to say between the coughs, just hoping that this would all end soon. When you finally stopped coughing and moved your hand away, you saw a fully bloomed flower. Oh, Gods, it was getting worse.

Ashamed, you stumbled over to the couch and set the flower down, instead grabbing the tissues and wiping your face. You were sure that now the love of your life simply thought you were disgusting and would never even bother to talk to you again. Yet, when you turned to look at him, he looked intrigued more than anything. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit concerned?

“What was that?” he asked with a frown. With a sigh, you threw the tissue into the trash.

“I-it’s called Hakanaki Disease,” you answered quietly. “I- I’ll be coughing up flowers until the one I love loves me back, o-or I die,” you explained briefly with a sad smile appearing on your face. You didn’t want to tell him that it was him you loved, you were sure that it’d make him feel weird and he’d most likely leave. And you wanted him to stay for as long as he could... Loki seemed to think for a moment.

“Is there a way to cure it? Maybe with magic...” he thought out loud, slightly moving his fingers and causing a green mist to appear around them. You quickly shook your head.

“No! I-if it gets fixed in any other way, I- I might never love again!” you cried out, terrified of the idea. Your sudden reaction seemed to surprise him. “S-sorry,” you muttered, covering your face. You felt as if there was no way your meeting could get worse.

“...Alright then,” he said after the initial shock disappeared. After that, he glanced around again, making you wonder what he was looking for. Wanting to change the subject, you decided to ask him.

“D-do you need anything? A drink? Something to eat?” you asked, just a tiny bit anxious. He seemed to like the idea of changing the subject as well.

“Hmm... a drink would be... appreciated,” he answered after humming in wonder for a bit. You quickly nodded and stumbled towards the kitchen.

“Alright, t-this way...” you instructed, hearing his footsteps behind you. 

You led him into the room and went to grab him a glass of water. You didn’t have any other drinks in your house, really. When you poured some of it into the fanciest glass you had and turned to hand it to him, you caught him staring at the small birthday cake standing on your table. Oh, yeah, that thing...

“I know some things about Midgard traditions... Whose birthday is it?” he asked you in wonder. You sighed.

“Well, mine. Except no one could make it this year... My friends aren’t interested in watching me choke to death on roses...” you laughed sadly. Your guest seemed to think for a moment before snapping his fingers, making the candles on the cake light up with green flames.

“...Happy birthday, then, [y/n],” he said, taking the glass of water from your hands and heading back to the living room, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

He had no idea how much that meant to you. With your eyes tearing up, you walked over to the cake and blew out the candles, making a silent wish. “I wish he’d love me...”. After the green flames disappeared, you felt more flowers in your lungs and couldn’t help but cough, yet you felt happier than ever. You never got to even talk to him before and now here he was, wishing you happy birthday. You didn’t care how much chuckling hurt, you couldn’t help but do it as your eyes filled to the brim with tears.

Only after some time, you joined him back in the living room, where he sat down on the other side of the couch that you were using before, as far as possible from the flowers. You couldn’t blame him, though, it was pretty disgusting in your opinion. He seemed to have just finished the water you gave him and set the glass on the floor. Without a word, you sat down next to him, too scared that you’d tear up if you tried to thank him.

“Hm... This could be your last birthday, right?” he asked you suddenly, wondering about something. With a sorrowful look on your face, you nodded.

“Most likely is... The flowers are getting bigger,” you sighed, pointing to the rose you coughed up during his arrival. He nodded, still thinking.

“Say, would you like to see Asgard before it’s over for you?” he offered suddenly. Your eyes lit up and you couldn’t believe what he was saying for a moment. Shyly, you nodded.

“T-that would be lovely...” you answered finally. He got off the couch and your excitement was bigger than ever... until he sat back down with an annoyed sigh.

“Ah, I forgot. My wonderful brother made sure I couldn’t return there...” he muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Well, screw him,” you muttered angrily before you could stop yourself. You couldn’t help it, you hardly ever managed to stay quiet whenever someone mentioned Thor. Truth be told, you hated his guts. Your reaction seemed to amuse Loki a bit.

“Not a fan of the almighty Thor?” he asked, leaning back in his seat with his eyebrows raised. You shook your head, figuring there was no reason to hide it.

“Not at all. I... I know a bit about how he treats you and... You deserve so much better than this... this arrogant meathead, this stupid, idle, conceited, insolent moron, this...” you kept going until you noticed Loki’s surprised expression. “...Am I going too far?” you asked nervously. After a moment of silence, the God just laughed, a truly amazing sound.

“Not at all, [y/n], not at all,” he assured you with a smile. “I find your insults... entertaining.”

“Oh, well then... I hope the rest of his life is just as pleasant as he is,” you finished your small rant. Loki just nodded in agreement.

“You’re quite an amusing Midgardian, [y/n]...” he muttered rather to himself than anybody else. Yet you took it as a big compliment, and just like with any other compliments, you didn’t know how to answer. “So, since you don’t seem to have any plans for today and Asgard is off the limits for now, would you like to go get some Midgardian food?” he offered eventually.

You just stared at him for a moment, taken off guard. Was he... was he offering to go out somewhere with you? Was he... actually interested in doing that? Despite you coughing up flowers and rambling about hating his brother and everything? Was this even real?

“T-that sounds great,” you nodded eagerly. He laughed at your excitement.

“Alright then. Sounds like the Avengers are gone already so let me just...” he muttered, snapping his fingers and immediately changing his fancy clothes to something more casual, a very pretty gray and green outfit. “I’m ready to go,” he grinned.

And so, it began. You left the house with him and went to get some food for your birthday while avoiding any members of the Avengers and casually talking. Going from one place to another took up most of your day and honestly, you couldn’t complain. Even if talking with him for hours wasn’t quite enough to cure you and you kept coughing up more flowers, he didn’t seem too bothered by it after some time and he seemed to open up to you more. You got to listen to him vent about his life in Asgard, about everything, and in return, he listened to you vent about how hard life with Hakanaki is. With, of course, some lighter conversations thrown in here and there.

Only at the very end of the day, he got somewhat quiet, making you assume that he was tired. And so, you went to the last place you were planning to visit that day, an ice cream parlor. There, you got all your favorite flavors and Loki settled on chocolate, and the two of you just sat down to talk. During the whole conversation, you had to cough up flowers only three or so times and if anyone stared at you, Loki would stare back at them and intimidate them into looking away, so it was all going great. In the end, when you were done eating and got up, so did Loki, ending up right in front of you. Immediately, you felt your cheeks heat up again.

“...[y/n], today was... quite pleasant. Thank you for spending it with me,” he said, smiling more shyly than ever before.

“Oh, no, thank you for coming here with me,” you answered. You couldn’t remember the last time you even got to go outside while coughing up flowers and thanks to him you did, and he made you feel somewhat normal again. Even if he didn’t love you, it was still something.

“I think I realized something today. ...Would you mind if I...” he said quietly and it seemed like he was blushing a bit? But before he bothered to finish, he already figured his own fillings out and made up his mind.

Before you could react, he put his hands on your shoulders and moved you closer to himself, tilting his head a bit and closing his eyes, only to finally pull you into a kiss. It was gentle, soft, and his lips still tasted like chocolate ice cream... might be your new favorite flavor now.

Your eyes widened at first, but your shock quickly disappeared when you kissed him back, not caring to wonder what was happening anymore, just enjoying him being here and the amazing feeling of relief washing over you. Slowly, you wrapped your hands around him and he did the same, only holding you closer and deepening the kiss.

When he finally pulled away, his face was almost red and you could feel your cheeks burning, but you couldn’t care less. You took a deep breath and, to your surprise, it was far deeper than any breath you took throughout the last months. So clear, so refreshing, so... the flowers were gone! You looked at Loki, at the love of your life, and you could feel tears building up in your eyes while you let out a tiny chuckle. You felt so light, so free, so alive...

“I’m going to assume you enjoyed it?” he grinned, trying to play it off cool but still not able to stop himself from blushing. He probably wondered if he wasn’t going too fast with everything... You nodded slightly, still enjoying the sweet, sweet feeling of being able to breathe.

“I-It was-” you tried to answer, “Y-you love me back, I- I won’t die!” you gasped eventually. He looked at you, surprised.

“...I’m the one you loved?” he asked you eventually, too shocked to keep his cool face anymore. 

You nodded, taking a step towards him and wrapping your hands around him, you pulled him into another kiss. If this was a dream, you didn’t want to wake up. Ever. You felt him smile against your lips and lean into the kiss more, clearly enjoying it as much as you did. With tears of relief rolling down your face, you didn’t want to ever let go. That was, until you’ve heard a weirdly familiar voice somewhere around, probably an Avenger or some other hero.

“Loki?!” they gasped, making you two pull away. The God just glanced at them before looking back at you.

“Happy Birthday, my Queen. Should we leave?” he asked, ignoring the enemy. With just a small nod of yours as an answer, he snapped his fingers and you were both gone. And so, your birthday wish ended up coming true...

[esausrpmemes]

(Originally posted by galacticrpmemes who has since deactivated. Now available again without having to reblog from private users)

ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɢᴇ II ꜱᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀꜱ

change genders as needed!

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“I could create such desires if I wished, but it is far easier to nurture those which already exist.”

“You’ll hardly find my services “standard”.“

“That’s right. Once you’re numb, you’ll do anything I ask.”

“We’ve lost it all. Everything your father and I built.”

“Those elves you’re friends with, they’re… Rather strange, aren’t they?”

“My little boy/little girl has grown so strong. I love you. You’ve always made me proud.”

“The people fear what we can do, but to use that fear to bludgeon us into submission is wrong! And they do it with our blessing!”

“I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you threaten it?”

“Since when is Justice happy? Justice is righteous. Justice is hard.”

“The oppression of us stems from the fears of men. Not the will of the Maker.”

“I will not stand by and watch you treat us like criminals, while those who would lead us bow to their jailors!”

“I haven’t been on the surface very long, I keep thinking I’ll fall up into that sky any minute.”

“Killing my former brothers-in-arms is oddly satisfying.”

“I’d rather him alive and furious than dead and buried.“

“You should all be grateful!”

"Your kind think selfishness and want are normal. This city, all of it, leaves a bad taste.”

“Friend and enemy blend together in this sea of filth. I can barely discern one group from another.”

“Their actions are merely symptoms. Your society is the disease.”

“I have seen every vice and weakness of your kind, how few of you take responsibility.”

“We’re not killers or slavers. Anything short of that, however, is fair game.”

“I intend to take what you owe––––with interest.”

“A dangerous thing, taking sides. I avoid it wherever possible.”

“Ah my little _____, predictable as always.”

“ Do I detect a note of jealousy? It’s not surprising. The lad is rather skilled, isn’t he?”

“You weren’t always this way, _____. Once upon a time you had affection for me. I remember it fondly.

“What do I care what shield they carry? If they challenge us, the dead themselves will meet the call!”

"Zealots are bravest where their lies can’t be argued: behind closed doors.”

“I’m preparing for the worst. The very worst. This may require absorbent linens.”

“There are other ways to see the world.“

“If I offend, well—some people try very hard to be offended.”

“Shameful, isn’t it? How I don’t mindlessly repeat the mistakes of my father?”

“Death is never justice.”

“Eternity is long enough that we need not rush to meet it.”

“I cannot take sides.“

"I saw something nasty in the woodshed.”

“You smell like cinnamon buns.“

“Can I have some Salamanders, please?“

“One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide.“

“They know what I am. Let them come, if they find the courage.”

"What has magic touched that it doesn’t spoil?”

“Now the battle awaits us. Na via lerno victoria. ‘Only the living know victory.’ Fight well.”

“Am I supposed to forgive, no matter how many times they hunt me down? Am I supposed to forget all the things they’ve done to me?”

“You realize this is a cause you can’t hope to win.“

“Everything was fine until today!“

“I have… dreams. There are voices in the dreams. They ask me to come, to give shape to the Void around them.”

“Hurtled into the chaos, you fight… and the world will shake before you.”

“Is it fate or chance? I can never decide.”

“Regret is something I know well. Take care not to cling to it, to hold it so close that it poisons your soul.”

“We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment… and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly.”

“There is always a catch. Life is a catch! I suggest you catch it while you can.”

“It’s the only way…to hear the music.”

“I did not think any of us would leave those caverns alive.”

“You’re very brave. Take this, with my blessings. You remind me of someone…I hold dear, though I never had the courage to say that to her.”

“Felicitate me!”

“There are men who struggle against destiny, and yet achieve only an early grave. There are men who flee destiny, only to have it swallow them whole. And there are men who embrace destiny, and do not show their fear. These are the ones that change the world forever.”

“I’m sure someone thought far too long about my name.”

“When in doubt, run away, and let me handle it.”

“Something else I can help with?”

“Onward! There’s much to be done.”

“Next time, could we hunt something small and cuddly? Maybe vegetarian?”

“We do a lot of walking, don’t we?”

“I have an excellent sense of dramatic timing. And good hair.”

“They say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die. Any helpful flashes yet?”

“Seems to me, the last man standing gets final say on who is right or wrong.”

“Anyone who leaves, is a deserter. And we all know what happens to deserters…”

“You better have a good reason for bothering me.”

“I don’t like it when people interrupt my thoughts.”

“Other people always took the risks to keep me free.”

“Maker’s breath! Can’t you do this when I’m not around?”

“You’re a far better representative of the family than I would have been.”

“It seems I am again in your debt… and shadow.”

“You soulless bastard!”

“If you have a problem with my brother/sister, you have a problem with me.”

“A hundred ways to run, and we choose backward.“

“I’d prefer to stay in this world as long as possible. And if I can make it an ordered place without looking like a zealot, all the better.”

“The world is a big place, but the faces are the same. We do right here, we make a difference.”

“There’s no escaping you, it seems.”

“I am a visionary. I’ve seen our destiny.“

“Our mistakes make us who we are.”

“Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it’ll make you sick. But do it right, and there’s no feeling in the world like it.

"When you get right down to it, we’re not responsible for anyone but ourselves. You can choose to be free, or you can choose to be saddled with all the world’s problems.”

“I like big boats, I cannot lie.”

“Don’t bet anything you’re not prepared to lose.”

“You see, sweetness, men are only good for one thing. Women are good for six.”

“Shit. What have you gotten yourself into this time, _____?”

“Justice… answers to nobody!”

“Leave! This does not concern you!”

“Do not say his name! He will hear you! Do not wake him!”

“Me and my boys will get our money’s worth, bitch.”

“Need a little special something for that special someone?”

“Did you say something? I didn’t hear you. And clumsy me, I seem to have dropped a coin purse in your hand.”

“I’ll try not to hit anyone. On our side, I mean. I’m babbling again. Let’s go.”

“If anyone is to do any slaying, it will be me.”

“Would you hurry it up? I haven’t eaten all day…”

“We tried to be good! We did everything we were told!“

“You deny us our freedom so that you may sleep better at night, but I say it is a restless and undeserved slumber.”

“You push us into desperate acts, and then use that as justification to press ever further!”

“Start talking, _____. They tell me you’re good at it.”

“Bullshit! That’s not what really happened!”

“I’m not interested in stories. I came to hear the truth.”

“What makes you think I know the truth?”

“I hope you live a long life, _____, because your judgment before the Maker will be harsh.”

“We all have our strengths to exploit, mine is finding like-minded people.“

“I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers… and at last, her face. Oh, this beautiful face.”

“I have chosen my path.”

“Your words did not fall on deaf ears.”

"How about ‘the smart-mouthed _____ gets slapped across the face’?”

“Oh, don’t be jealous, sweetie.“

“Let’s get you some experience, sweetie!”

“Why is this taking so long? Can ones so evil truly be so powerful? Maker, guide your humble servant! Please tell me what I must do! What if… I’m not doing the right thing? What if this is all madness? No! I must remain vigilant!”

“How does it feel, _____, to know I hold the life of one you love in my hands?”

“The job’s simple: break up the meeting and kill every one of those bastards.”

“There are few things in this world more powerful than a promise kept. Remember that.”

“There’s truth in your face. A rare thing in a human.”

“There is a light in your heart, human. Don’t let it go out. You will need it.”

“It has been a long, hard journey to this place. And it’s far from over.”

“Do you ever feel like you’re part of a story that someone’s telling? Maker, I wish whoever was telling the story had made me more handsome.

"When was the last time you were with a woman?”

“'I don’t like this’? That’s right up there with, 'What could possibly go wrong?’”

“There’s a recipe to a good hero, _____. It’s like alchemy. One part down-to-earth, one part selfless nobility, two parts crazy, and you season liberally with wild falsehoods. You let that percolate through a good audience for a while, and when it’s done, you’ve got your hero.”

“Once more I am falsely accused of whatever it is that I am accused of. Falsely.”

“_____, I’m a businessman. Now and then, I shoot people.”

“You should know by now that I love the sound of my own voice, _____.”

“What a mess of mud and blood. No resale value at all.”

“Protect what matters with everything you have, or you’ll have nothing, and deserve it.”

“They will not have you…not while I breathe.”

“Shout if you need me, _____. I’ll always be there for you. Just… knock first.”

“Honey, I could write volumes on the things I know.”

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

You ask for prompts and I'm here again to seek new content to read: 3. How often do/can they see each other (due to living on different planets, having stressful jobs, etc) with Gashir (/Garakshir) 🤩🤩

 Eyyyyy. I am just gonna… casually fold into this… a little trans-Bashir as a treat…. because it’s trans day of visibility!!! Also I hc Cardassians as intersex, in the sense of they as a species don’t call themselves intersex, but their genders are far more loosely determined at birth, because there’s not really sexual dimorphism (or rather, there is, but it’s so many different factors that it’s not classified) and then gendering comes later in life depending on what role they’re supposed to play in society ahem – different post to make!

Also Garak has a tail in this, also casually.. also this got longer than intended… oops?

—– Letter Analysis ——

1.

Their lives have a sort of normality that many families in this day and age exist with. Space travel, careers that necessitate being off-planet for long stretches at a time, the struggles of being a representative for entire planets or systems, all of this isn’t out of the ordinary.

Still, it takes them a little while to adjust, if only because they spent so long not getting it together that now that they have, well, they want to savour it. On the flip-side their relationship functions much better than so many who enter into partnerships of some kind without fully considering the difficulties of spending so much time apart and inevitably crumble.

Because of all that time they know, without a doubt, that their lives are entwined for good, regardless of how much of it they spend without one another’s physical company.

They fall into letter-writing naturally. After all, they had been doing the same before, why stop now.  

2.

It has become something of a competition at this point: who can write the longest letter. Thus far, Julian is winning and Elim is still in the process of reading his when they see one another again. He pretends to be blasé about it, but Julian can read him easily these days. He wonders at the time when he couldn’t and can’t really picture it.

While Elim is giving him a back-handed compliment at the way he’s managed to fold three words worth of content into whole paragraphs, Julian realises that he’s never known anyone as well as he knows Elim. And every detail of himself is known in turn. From the scars of his chest surgery that he purposefully kept, to the ridges at the base of Elim’s tail, it feels like everything about them was perfectly made for the other.

It’s strange, how many tiny moments are filled with love, they both learn.

(After Elim sends him a letter of 3000 pages, Julian simply answers: You win).

3.

They consider what it would be like to have a family with the way their lives are run. Elim generally lives on Cardassia unless his diplomatic duties take him elsewhere, while Julian is hopping from emergency to medical find to distress call to conference.

Still, they approach the matter on the premise that it will happen. Their letters during these years follow a trajectory of thought with little variation, as they can’t actually be together for the discussion.

They discuss pregnancy – both of them are capable of bearing a child, but the time needed (nine earth months for humans, even longer for cardassians) makes it a challenging prospect. Moreover Julian and Elim, each for their own reason, have issues with concepts surrounding an uncontrollable force fundamentally changing their bodies.

It doesn’t take them long to agree that adoption was always the only option. Still there’s the matter of their careers being incompatible with children. Neither of them wants to put a child in harm’s way and both of their careers contain elements of danger. I believe, writes Elim drily and with an underlying sadness that Julian wishes he could heal, that this sixth assassination attempt may contain a sign that a child would not be particularly safe in my company.

4.

The way this resolves itself is oddly perfect for what they need and who they are and comes through both of their continued work with mixed-species war-orphans, who more often than not are homeless, ostrasized and suffering from any number of easily treatable diseases. Garak opens a series of institutions in the name of Ziyal and habitually lends a hand in their various gardens where he befriends a number of the kids.

This plan also works to ground a lot of Julian’s focus in the space of mixed-species research, specifically writing papers on the future of the galaxy needing to see species integration for the sake of these kids as an inevitability as cultures mix and to understand the medical and cultural implications thereof.

Kira and Ro get heavily involved on the Bajoran side of things – in general a bunch of adults from DS9 days come together to give kids a better chance than they had.  

Beyond that though, they come to realise that they’re okay on family. With these kids – many of whom they get to know personally over the years – with Molly and Yoshi O'Brien and Rebecca Sisko getting older and the two of them functioning as uncles, there’s more than enough for them to be getting on with on the children front: Elim and I were very happy to see you all again – Don’t worry, I’ll keep Yoshi safe – we’ll be making a stop at Bajor where Nerys is very excited to see him again –

Their circle is actually a sizeable, cross-galaxy household. They come to realise that it doesn’t matter if your family is someone you can’t see often, what matters is they’re all inhabiting the same space.

5.

They don’t argue often. With the lack of time they have together, what would be the point of raising petty squabbles. There are things like the time Julian forgot about a very important dinner that Elim was a guest of honour at, which opened up a box of the kind of loneliness Elim thought he’d overcome, but it wasn’t about anger or arguing, it was about the two of them figuring out that sometimes this not seeing one another was actually damned hard. It was about asking for forgiveness and receiving it even before the asking. It was about making sure that they wouldn’t let things ever be unsaid, because their time together – comparative to their whole lives – was always going to be so short.

The actual worst long-standing consequence is that Elim and Julian are political celebrities, and so whatever tabloid-equivalent exists publishes one thousand pieces on their apparently irreconcilable relationship. Julian finds himself referred to as everything from a “heartthrob who found he needed more,” to “a cheater who habitually has several affairs at once.”

It’s amazing, remarks Elim in his latest letter, how these kinds of spurious articles are written even today, and how they still don’t seem to know the facts. On that note I hope you have a wonderful time with Data, and Parmak sends his love from my lap - it’s making it very hard to write this.

6.

They’re both twenty years older by now, but things aren’t slowing down with their work by the looks of things. Julian’s work centres more and more on the various groups whose medical needs are considered less valid or even non-medical, because of their social status and who often have medical issues of kinds that don’t come up in normative societies – mixed-species, augments, A.I. (for awhile his standing suffers, when he argues that mechanical needs for A.I. ought to be taught in Starfleet Medical), non-bipedal species, Ex-B’s, Jem'Hadar, clones.

Elim keeps his Carrington Award on the wall for everyone to see. Partly to mess with him – To The Prestigious Winner of the CA – many of his letters begin for several years after, but mostly out of pride.

(In return and with as much love, Julian addresses him as Ambassador and Castellan – the joke evolves as they find ever more flowery titles for one another. Julian wins this one: My Dearest, the Ambassador to the United Federation of planets, Castellan of the Cardassian Union, Blusher when Being Whispered Compliments about the Length of Your Tail, Not-So-Secret Reader of Austen and Pratchett, Seducer of Doctors (No Doubt Currently Spluttering in Denial), Possessor of Biteable Ridges (Blushing Again, I Hope) and of My Heart… this opening continues a further four pages. The letter itself reads: I expect to land on Cardassia within the next three days. Surprise.)

7.

At the end of it all, Julian finally comes to Cardassia for good. Along the way it’s become his home more than any planet, station, starship, or system, for the simple fact that he’s been returning to Elim, and Elim is home.

There’s a strangeness to all the time they have. The walks they take, the languid mornings, the discussions of books they’ve read whilst in each other’s company, it’s all far more surreal than the years spent wanting to see one another again and catching whatever moments they could.

They can’t shake the habit of writing one another letters, even as they’re sitting in the same room. They don’t need to be long or well-formed any more, although occasionally silly competitions spring up, just for fun.

The one Julian’s reading right now, as Elim’s tail languidly curls around his waist, simply says: I am glad that you’re finally home – E

–— The End ——

Submissions for drabbles are now closed, thank you for sending me asks!

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “The Slime”

Hello everyone, sorry I have been busy and haven’t posted as much as normal, but it’s been busy and will be for another week. However, I wanted to give Krill a little screen-time after Sunny became so popular. So this one takes place before she joined the crew. I hope you like it :) Fell free to question message, comment ask, give ideas and prompts. 

The conference hall for the Galactic Assembly hall was awash in chaos. Captain Vir sat wide eyed next to krill (temporary representative of earth while the ambassador was away). The Assembly members argued over each other raised voices becoming even more agitated than the ones before.

“ORDER, ORDER I SAY” A loud hammering broke through the noise, and the gathered assembly took to their seats eyes wide with fright.

The chairwoman folded her posterior appendages to the front, “I will have order. Panic will do nothing for us. As it seems, the Gromm’s home world has been overrun by a virulent plague. Unfortunately, we are not sure of the exact nature of the disease. Before their scientists could come to us with their discovery all communications had gone dark….. We fear we may have lost them.”

“That’s not right.” The entire assembly hall turned to look at the human. Krill sunk behind the desk in embarrassment.

“You have something to say, human?”

Captain Vir looked awkwardly down at the desk for a moment before taking a deep breath and standing up, “Well aren’t you going to send someone. The CDC or a hazmat team, you can’t just leave them to die out there, can you? Not if there is soemthing that can be done.” The entire hall rumbled with assent to the human’s words.

The chairwoman leaned back eyeing the human, “Tell me than, what makes you qualified to make such suggestions.” The hall grumbled again

“Well, I come from a world that has had a ton of plagues and diseases as you know, the black plague, Spanish influenza, smallpox, bird flu to name a few. And every time that happened, someone came in to help. Take Ebola as an example, a hemorrhagic fever originating near the Ebola River that, as the name suggests, causes massive internal bleeding with fever. It is so contagious that you can catch it through contact with bodily fluids, from dead bodies, and (After a particular mutation) through contact with the air. It has somewhere between a 50-90% fatality rate without treatment. And despite that, when outbreaks happen we don’t just leave those people to die. Volunteer doctors and nurses went in with hazmat suits to take care of those people. Some of them died, some of them caught the disease, and others saved a lot of lives.”

The room was surprisingly quiet. Krill was surprised too, they knew humans to be a warlike species, but they hadn’t known them to be so…. Caring. To risk death to help those who may not be saved?

“A touching story, Captain, but how does that help us?”

Captain Vir crossed his arms, “If I can contact Earth, and find someone who is willing to help, I will personally fly them in myself to provide security.”

***

“Why did you agree to this?” Krill wondered uneasily watching as the captain and the rest of the volunteer medical team began strapping on their hazmat uniforms. Behind his clear plastic mask, the captain grinned fogging up the glass face, “Because, someone’s gotta do it, and besides, humans have the best immune systems this side of the galaxy.”

Krill grumbled slightly, “Maybe to earth diseases, which are disgusting, but not to alien diseases.”

“I thought you were a surgeon, not an infectious disease specialist.”

“I still went to medical school.” Krill grumbled, “Now remember captain, stay safe, and keep clean. Make sure to follow any and all decontamination procedures. Don’t touch anything if you don’t have to. Keep your feed on, so that I can see what’s going on. Maybe I can help. Also, remember to keep you-“

“Respirator on and gloves on at all times, yes Krill, I’m not stupid. I don’t want to die either.” Next to him, the other volunteers from his crew were strapping on their weapons making ready for entry.

Krill was still nervous watching them board the shuttle, and, through the cameras, their descent towards the Gromm homeworld. All around the world other crews would be doing the same thing.

***

“Approaching the first settlement at about 23% west. There seems to be no signs of life thus far.” Krill watched as the captain stepped around a strange plant and continued walking as he narrated for them. The feed wasn’t great, so it would be a help. “No movement, no alarms, nothing.” They moved over a rise and made their way down another hill reaching the settlement in about twenty minutes, having parked themselves at a good distance from the settlement. “Looks like we have our first body.” The captain said grimly crouching down and peering with his helmet cam at the shriveled corps dried into a husk under the sun. “This thing looks F***ing mummified.” The captain mumbled walking in a wide circle around the body to get it from all angles.

Krill had to agree with the captain’s assessment. The average Gromm was about three times the size of that body, with considerable mucus tissue covering most of its body. If it had died out in the sun, It was likely it had just dehydrated there.

One of the medical team began taking samples from the corpse as the rest moved closer to one of the buildings. Captain Vir took point next to the rest of his team protecting the medical staff as they softly shoved the door open.

Every human within sight left of a collective gasp.

“Ewwww f***ing disgusting.” One of them muttered. The captain made a noise in the back of his throat before, “Oh shit, I… Don’t know if you can all see, but the room is, absolutely….. Covered in slime.” With the medical team, they ventured into the room. It was dark enough Krill had trouble seeing, but the captain’s narration kept him aware, “There are at least 10, maybe 12 bodies in here all resting in pools of slime. It looks like it’s splattered the walls, there is even some on the ceiling. I can feel it through my boots.” He crouched down next to one of the bodies and ran a quick scan, “This one appears to be dead.” Krill squirmed a little in his seat at the disgusting sight, bulging eyes and a flaccid expression like the creature had just been deflated somehow.

“I GOT A LIVE ONE” Someone called.

The captain turned his helmet to look, and they all rushed over to a body in the corner. The creature was barely alive, eyes rolling against its chapped skin, “Water.” It pleaded. Someone, heading the plea left the room and came in with a bucket filled to the brim with water. The creature had no real mouth to drink like a human, so, instead, they dumped the bucket of water over the creature’s deflated form. Immediately, it began to look better, perking up and swelling to a proper size. It took a gasping breath, but seemed to sick to do much more than that. Immediately it began oozing at a furious pace.

“What the hell.” The captain muttered. Krill pressed closer to the screen. He had never seen anything like it. The average Gromm didn’t produce more than a quart of slime per day, but it was quickly loosing water even as they watched.

The humans began immediate procedure in helping the creature filling another tub full of water, and then dumping the Gromm into it covering themselves in slime during the process. The idea seemed to be working, though it would only be a temporary solution.

They continued on from there going from house to house, finding many dead, some still clinging to life, and all in need of water. Captain Vir kept track of everything he saw and everything the medical professionals pointed out. He went into most of the houses first and cleared each room before allowing others to follow him.

They were taking a look at one of the bodies when it happened. It was dark, and eerie, the house appeared to have been painted in the slime. No lights were on, and there were few windows. Captain Vir was scanning one of the subjects when it happened. The Gromm sat up and made a horrible screeching noise.

Vir leaped back, and tipped over something.

Krill heard the tearing. And then the cursing. “F**k, it’s inside my suit f**K.” The feed cut out.”

***

Krill sat at the consul shaking, body racked with panic. It was sure the captain’s suit had been breached, and he had been exposed to the pathogen. Second hands reported that he had been quarantined and was being observed….. Symptoms had already begun to appear, though the specifics were kept to a minimum.

Just then the camera turned on, and the captain appeared in the feed. He was smiling, but looked shaky. The plastic of the tent around him revealed a single entrance, a bed, a bucket, and a few other supplies, “Well….. I’ve been exposed to whatever this thing is. Whatever it is its fast acting.” He reached up to wipe his eyes, “About three hours after exposure, my nose started to run, and my eyes started to water.” He swallowed and wiped his mouth, “I’m not feeling anything else, no fever, no nausea, no sore throat, so perhaps it won’t be that bad. I’ll keep you updated.

***

Krill sat, furiously examining the samples that he had been given trying to figure out what exactly the pathogen’s purpose was. He wasn’t an expert in this area, but he knew enough that he thought it might help.

Behind him, the feed clicked on. The captain sat there looking an absolute mess. He was sniffling and wiping at his face every few seconds. His hair was disheveled, and his clothes were damp, “So…. It’s getting worse. Uh,” he wiped at his face, arm coming away covered in stringy slime. “It’s like, I was sprayed with CS gas, or ate a ghost pepper without the burning….” Tears trickled down his face in a steady stream, and as he spoke, it sounded like he was trying to speak past a mouthful of water, “I’m covered in my own.” He swallowed, “Slime. The medical team has been using me for its samples. The rest of the Gromm appear to be stabilizing. As long as you keep them in water, they seem alright, but we keep having to refill the water because they use it so fast. A few others are showing signs of improvement, thousands more have died.” He wiped at his face again, “And I have run out of tissues for the tenth time now…..”

***

The captain leaned against the edge of the frame. His cheeks were sunken his eyes were ringed with bags. He was no longer wearing his soaked shirt. He wiped at his face in vein, “Well, we have a name for it Viral Hyperactive Ectomucsacytosis, I just call it ‘The Slime.” He leaned over and spit into the bucket, “Which means that it’s a virus that causes hyperactivity in the exterior mucus membranes. So on the Gromm, who have mucus membranes covering their bodies, it’s almost a death sentence. They produce mucus until they have no water left to do so, and then they dry up. For humans it also attacks exterior mucus membranes.” He wiped at his head, “Luckily it doesn’t seem to affect the lugs or the intestines, but” He motioned to himself, “As you can see, it attacks the eyes, the nose, the mouth and…… well there are a few other places, but I’ll let you use whatever medical knowledge you have to guess those…..” He sighed, “I’ve stopped wearing clothes, because I have nothing dry left.”

He held up his arm, “As you might know, saliva and other mucus is about 90% water, so I am excessively dehydrated. They’ve started a wide boar IV on me just to keep up with the water loss.” He sighed, “I haven’t peed in almost 24 hours. I’m dizzy, and keep forgetting what I’m supposed to say. Since they gave me the IV I’ve been feeling a little better.” He sighed again, “My skin is dry, I feel cold, and they are worried about organ failure if I continue to loose water. Oh, also I have a massive headache.”

***

Captain Vir stepped aboard the ship two weeks later wearing dry clothes and looking relatively chipper. The planetary crisis for the Gromm had been reduced by the brave humans who had volunteered to come and aid those that were left alive. Millions had died in the plague, but with excessive amounts of water, the Virus had run its course. Anyone and everyone who received sufficient care during that time survived and recovered including Captain VIr.

Certain settlements had figured this trick out before their brethren and had taken to the water as soon as the outbreak had shown the symptoms that it did. They found other settlements that had not been touched by the plague, but they were often far outside city limits and had no real way to contact anyone. Many of the Gromm would remain permanently affected by the disease causing a dysregulation of their usual slime production.

Disease free, Vir was back to his normal self, and had decided that your average runny nose was nothing compared to “The slime”. A runny nose didn’t usually cause dehydration, organ failure, headache, and muscle cramps.

Krill, to himself, was very impressed with the humans. It hadn’t taken very long for Vir to find his volunteers, and no one had through twice about helping an entirely different race. They had come in on the hundreds, and had saved an entire planet from the brink of extinction risking their own lives in the process. At least 25 humans out of the hundreds sent had been infected, and all had survived without continuing issue.

Humans are a strange race, bred in war and shaped by pain, and so they fear nothing. They don’t fear sickness, or death, but they believe in survival. This idea is engrained so deeply that, even against logic, they will risk their own lives to lift up the lives of others.

No other race sent volunteer envoys onto the face of the Gromm planet, no other species suffered the sickness. It was humans, and humans aloe willing to risk death to save a species not their own.

[fountainpenguin]

At the end of the episode; The Gland Plan we see after Cosmo and Anti-Cosmo's transplant. Cosmo acts like Anti-Cosmo with the monocle, the British accent and the Clarice thing while Anti-Cosmo acts like Cosmo saying goodbye to Wanda and Timmy with Cosmo usual voice. So did the transplant go wrong like what Timmy tells Wanda about

In my works, there’s a disease called nip-rot that temporarily switches personalities if two counterparts are exposed to each other’s fluids (blood in this case). In a magical world, that can happen!

The way I see it, Cosmo and Anti-Cosmo switched personalities for a minute, then reverted back to themselves. Later they switched again, this time for longer, and kept experiencing these slips throughout the day until they had each other’s personality for several hours. Eventually this passed and they reverted to normal.

Post-“Gland Plan,” Anti-Cosmo feels weird and uneasy around Timmy, not sure whether he’s supposed to hate him or protect him. He knows Timmy worked hard to break him out of jail so he and Cosmo could get the medical attention they needed, and is grateful for that. Things got even more complicated when Timmy showed him mercy in “The Fairly Oddlympics.” Anti-Cosmo knows he doesn’t hate Timmy and would protect him if it really came down to it… something that I’m sure annoys H.P. 37 years in the future when he wants to take revenge.

Anti-Cosmo doesn’t know Timmy well, but he’s sort of in love with the idea of Timmy and wants to probe his brain a little. He blames these tender feelings on his fagiggly gland transplant. For his part, Cosmo is weirdly protective over Foop and has random urges to involve himself in Foop’s life. His protectiveness can sometimes get Foop hurt (Ex: Cheerfully greeting Foop at the end of “Spellementary School” and trying to swat the sprites from his face, but hurting Foop in the process).

Foop would never see Cosmo as a father figure, but I think Cosmo slips him some fatherly advice sometimes. My headcanon is that a little after Season 10, when Poof and Foop are slowly growing their bond as roommates, the fairy family and anti-family form a tentative friendship. If Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda are always out of town for Spellementary’s spring break because of reasons, Foop probably stays with Cosmo and Wanda several times. I’m toying with the idea of writing a story where Poof stays at the castle with Foop, but I haven’t worked it out yet.

In any case, I feel like Wanda will forever be wary of Foop and Foop can tell, making his stays with them a little awkward. Sensing this, Cosmo makes an effort to include him, or maybe hang out with him one-on-one. Cosmo radiates a lot of dad energy and even Foop isn’t immune to that. Foop would never share his feelings with him and is probably above friendly games of Catch, but he’d definitely avoid playing board games with Wanda and Poof unless Cosmo is also there. He needs that quiet reassurance that someone has his back.

So the transplant didn’t go wrong per se. It just messes with them a little.

[sheithfictioncatalogue]

The Future (Post-S8/Fix-It Fics Part 2)

For the last day of the @sheithnewyear event, we decided to do the highly-requested follow-up list to our Post-Season 8/Fix-it Fics list, as it corresponds with the theme neatly!

Voltron: Legendary Defender Season 8 Rewrite: Act 1 - Kelticmoon @kelticmoon

ongoing, 4/? chapters, 17k. (Mature) Contains: graphic depictions of violence. Background ships: Allura/Lance, Allura/Lance/Pidge, Pidge/OC

This is a complete rewrite of Season 8’s story arc I’m doing. The entire thing will be about 26 chapters long (1 chapter = 1 episode) and will be split into two seasons instead of the one to give it better pacing. It will have some elements from the current Season 8 with more chapters to make it not feel so rushed. The plan is to post the chapters once a week (life permitting) so my son isn't being raised by a tablet).

Over Spilled Milk - Glossolalia @fenri

ongoing, 2/? chapters, 10k. (Mature) Contains: nsfw content, xenophilia, species dysphoria, mpreg, character death. Background ships: Allura/Lance, Keith/OC

Saving the universe and all its alternate realities should warrant a karmic vacation, but if your name is Keith, catching a break has the same statistical odds as winning the lottery.

Now thirty-years-old and the father of an infant son, Keith is newly widowed and holding it together by a thin thread. In an attempt to prevent Keith from losing his everloving mind, Krolia and the retired Voltron Paladins stage an intervention on Altea. As it turns out, Keith isn't the only one in need of a helping hand.

Vein of Stars - FluffySheith @fluffysheith

ongoing, 2/? chapters, 6k. (Mature) Background ships: Allura/Lance

It's been five years since Allura made the ultimate sacrifice so they could all live in peace. Those five years have taken their toll as the former paladins have drifted apart. Once a year they still come together, but this year is different. This year Lance has been having strange dreams of Allura and the Lions, and this year he intends to rally the old gang back together. A deep space expedition is a vast commitment and an even greater undertaking, but they would do anything to find their princess again.

The IGF Atlas and her crew are about to boldly go where they've never been before in search of their long lost princess who sacrificed everything to save them all.

This is the story about how they challenged the laws of the universe at any cost to make things right.

The Way That The Story Ends - thecryoftheseagulls @thecryoftheseagulls

ongoing, 1/? chapters, 1k. (Mature) 

A single Shiro clone survives the destruction of the cloning facility.

Years later, Keith is on a routine Blade of Marmora aid mission to a backwater planet just outside the remains of the old Galra empire. He’s never been to this system before. So why does his host’s favorite pilot -- a tall, masked humanoid simply called Quiet -- seem so familiar?

slow collisions (asteroids) - copperwings @worldofcopperwings

7k. (Teen) Background ships: Krolia/Kolivan, Hunk/Romelle, Allura/Lance

It’s not that he hates weddings or wedding attire. It’s just that they remind him of a certain other wedding that happened four years, two months and thirteen days ago, counting by old Earth years.

Not that he’s kept count.

- or; the fic in which Keith comes back years later for Hunk and Romelle's wedding and everything sorts itself out.

happiness is contagious - katebishoop

1k. (Teen) Background ships: Allura/Lance

Keith doesn't go back to his assigned room.

His assigned room would remain empty.

--- Or, Shiro and Keith have seen each other more often than their friends knew.

All Coming Back to Me Now - CoffeeFairy

5k. (General)

Five years after the end of the war Shiro is getting ready to marry someone who's definitely not second best.

Or, the story of Keith and Shiro's misunderstandings and the consequences of poor communication. Spoiler: Shiro doesn't marry Curtis.

shards - iokayia

2k. (Mature)

Keith realizes he has to do something about the madding silence between him and Shiro before it's too late.

Surrounded by darkness, Keith recognizes the emptiness at its full extent for the first time. It’s a piercing pain, shaking his whole body. His fingers clench around the sill when his knees start shaking. He pushes it away like everything else emotionally draining. He knows it’s wrong, it’s the dumbest thing someone could possibly do. Yet, pushing it away is easier than accepting it, even if it hurts in the end.

Shiro is everything Keith desires and wants, he wants to hear his laugh every day, to feel the comforting weight of his hand on his shoulder, to call him not Shiro but Takashi. Keith wants it all and more. He wants to call him his, his alone. The radiant glimmer in his eyes, the soft tone of his voice, the expressive faces he makes, everything.

i could’ve missed it, i never knew - tootsonnewts @tootsonnewts

2k. (General)

A sob tears itself from his throat when Shiro picks up the rough slip of paper laid gingerly inside. The familiar scrawl hits him like a punch to the teeth, all compact, efficient block print.

‘you can always call. -k’

Shiro sinks to his knees and cries like he hasn't in years.

He doesn't call.

a future.

Blossom and Beautiful - AxisMage

2k. (General)

“If you had told me before...” he´d said.

“I did, but you would never listen when I did. By the time you decided to pay my words any mind and decided that you... that you...”

“I love you.”

Keith had winced, closed his eyes in obvious pain. “Shut up.”

(Keith and Shiro had a small talk before the wedding. It set things in perspective)

Like a River Flows - zjofierose @zjofierose

2k. (Teen)

sometimes the things we fear the most are just a dream. and some things are meant to be.

The Price of Wishes Granted - Larathia

ongoing, 9/? chapters, 36k. (Teen)

Keith couldn't bear a universe that didn't have Shiro in it. What he got was a universe that had a Shiro that no longer loved him. And maybe if it had been anyone but Keith, that would have mattered.

Keith, however, had made a promise. "As many times as it takes," he'd said.

If he could make that promise reach beyond the bounds of death, a little thing like Shiro marrying someone else wasn't going to stand a chance.

The End is the Beginning - magisterpavus @saltyshiro

35k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content, drinking

The Universe is saved, and its Paladins are gone.

But between the tangled strands of reality, two whispers rise and fall, and one says, I love you, and the other says, as many times as it takes, and this time, he means it.

(tldr; true love always finds a way back.)

Reconciliation - Misttiique @misttiique

4k. (General)

“Hey, I really appreciate you being here, even after everything,” Shiro says from behind him.

Keith turns around slowly. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

Nothing had split his heart into two, like his increasing distance from Shiro.

“Thank you too, for everything. And being so supportive of this wedding,” Shiro continues. Keith can hear him take a step closer to him and holds his hand up, giving a signal to stop, as if they were on a mission.

“And also, for always being— ”

“Shiro, you should be getting back to your wedding party,” Keith cuts him off. His heart is breaking and the alcohol is making his emotions more volatile than they are.

“If you’re happy, then I’m happy. You should go back to your husband,” Keith advises, his voice is ice cold. He’s trying his best to believe exactly what he’s saying.

“Okay,” Shiro replies. He doesn’t push Keith. He knows when to draw the line because even when more lines are drawn, there’s always space to draw more. It’s something he’s learnt over the last year. He hesitates, as he always does, but takes a step backwards.

the voice from the stars - foxglovebrew, prouvairing @foxglovebrew

12k. (Mature) Contains: nsfw content

A year after war ends, Keith and Shiro take to the stars.

He swipes at the screen to open the notification, in case it’s something urgent. Iverson doesn’t even look up at that, used to it.

He sees what it is. He freezes.

A ping from a spacecraft—a Galra spacecraft. A new model named Viper 235, the call sign an unmistakable Black Paladin 2.

It’s followed by a message from Black Paladin 2 to his personal inbox.

HEY, OLD TIMER.

Space Explorers - CruelisnotMason @cruelisblue

ongoing, 4/5 chapters, 24k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content

Shiro points at a star and says "Next time bring me there."

___________________ After the war, the Paladins scatter in every direction and even Shiro and Keith become more distant. Additionally, spending his days working at the Garrison won't fulfill the man who always wanted to go out and explore space - only to be held back by the fear of having no future. Since his former disease is not an issue anymore, he grabs his best friend and goes back to space, trying to learn about foreign planets and cultures together.

Mistakes, We’ve Made A Few - Genesister (papirini)

ongoing, 8/? chapters, 40k. (Teen)

It wasn’t that Keith wasn’t upset, or angry, or frustrated, because he was. No - it was knowing Shiro was making a mistake, a big mistake, and he couldn’t say a thing. Wouldn’t.

Patience yields focus. That was what Shiro taught him, and after he had smashed his head for the fourth time into the wall of his bedroom, it hit him. An epiphany, not the wall. That was when he knew.

He couldn’t stop Shiro. Shiro was going to marry Curtis. Shiro wanted to marry Curtis. And--Shiro needed to marry Curtis. And Keith...Keith was going to let him do it. Just this once, he was not going to pull Shiro back from the precipice he stood on.

It was the only way to truly help Shiro move on, to finally, finally, do what needed to be done.

A story after the epilogue, about the mornings after, questioning Lance's sanity, and of course, happily ever afters after that not-so-happily ever after.

To the End of the Universe (and beyond) - Lys Ap Adin @lysapadin

9k. (General)

Everything is messed up for Team Voltron, but fortunately, the Lions have a plan to fix it all.

Here's a thing Lance would never have believed if he hadn't seen it happen with his own two eyes: after they come back from the nexus of all realities, team Voltron falls apart.

-Alex

[mysterioussinkhole]

Binary

Statement Summary: Taken directly from Tessa Winters, a computer programmer. She seems fairly shaken when she comes in. The tape recorder catches her interest, because they’re digital rather than analog like everyone assumes. Very rudimentary but still very much digital. She goes on to talk about the nature of language and feelings and how they relate to computers. After a bit, she starts with her story. It has to do with downloading consciousness and how human minds can’t properly work within a computer. There’s a story online about a man named Sergei Ushanka, a programmer who supposedly got a degenerative disease so he worked to upload his brain to a computer. Some say he died still tapping away. Another version says he physically shoved his head into the hardware. Whatever he did, it worked. His mind was put on floppy discs, then CDs, then purely digital. It’s a popular topic for chat bots, the sort that eventually break down screaming. The only things all the bots share are a pixelated screaming face and the phrase “The angles cut me when I try to think” marking the beginning of the spooky talk. She’s not much for bots but she used to do that sort all the time. One night she was on a sketchy sort of website and found a file called UshankasDespair.exe and quickly downloaded it. It didn’t take up much memory. Most of the comments said the link didn’t work. She had a day off so she messed around online for a bit. At around 2AM she finally opened it up. It was stylized like an old-school text adventure game. She typed first: Hello. There was no response for a few seconds until it sent a bunch of symbols. It kept typing these symbols, that would change and scroll and sort of twitch. It kinda hurt to look at. Every now and then there was English like “helphelphelp” and “it peels my mind like knives”. It was spooky but not out of the realm of possibility. Her laptop’s fan started making odd noises like it was frantically pushing out air. It wouldn’t close when she tried to X out so she crashed it. The noise stopped but the text kept going. The power was off which meant it was impossible. More words like “you wanted to talk” and “hihihihihihi”. Then an image took over. Very old webcam footage of an aging man crying with pain. He was looking at a computer screen in the dark. He reached down to tear up a key and then ate it. He did the same thing again, his mouth bleeding. She shut the laptop and drunk until she passed out. When she woke up it was still dark, and her TV showing the same video. The speakers played the sound of crunching. There was no way it was possible. The man muttered things like “it was like thinking through cheese wire” and “there’s no feeling like the no feeling hurts” and “it’s cold without blood”. At one point he ate a shard of glass from the monitor. She unplugged everything in her house and went out to wander. The video was on every screen she saw until she watched the whole 17 hour thing. No one else could see it. She watched it all after a month. It was awful. At the end he laid down and said “The maze is sharp on my mind. The angles cut me when I try to think.” The back of his head was missing. Thirty minutes later it was over. It doesn’t show up anymore but it haunts her nonetheless. Jon offers to help her but he’s a bit at a loss. She thanks him anyway.

Who Did It: Spiral/End or the Bonus Power

Spooky Rating: 10/10, utterly terrifying

Archives Drama: Jon posted on a few tech focused chats and it yielded results. The statement giver got him into Gertrude’s laptop. He’s about to go into more detail when Tim comes in. He gets kinda pissy when he sees Jon is “scheming” and goes to leave, but stops when he hears Jon mumble about his tone. They get into a fight, Tim upset that Jon is still so suspicious of everyone and Jon unconvinced that the CCTV footage is definitive. Tim tells him to shut up as he really gets going. He calls him a pompous idiot. Tim goes off about how in the Archives no one seems to care or have his back. He hates that Jon acts like his experiences are the only ones that matter. When Jon needed to take control but he went off the deep end. Elias should have fired him weeks ago. Tim hates it so much. Jon asks why he hasn’t quit. Tim wants to but for some reason can’t. Jon speculates that he can’t fire him either. He apologizes but refuses to trust him or anyone else. They decide to just deal with it.

Stray Thoughts: This episode is a lot to take in, especially the second time around. I guess I’ll take it in order. This statement is one of the ones that legitimately terrifies me, which isn’t many tbh. I think tech is definitely the way to go with the new power. Jonny said something in the Q&A about the tape recorders “not being neutral” and then at the beginning of this episode there is a deliberate point made that they are digital. Hints of another power emerging and taking hold? Especially with how the Archivists didn’t start using tape recorders in their until very recently, Gertrude mostly using hers for off the books research. Jon is such an old man and I love him. That being said, Tim telling him “Fuck you” is deeply cathartic. While he’s a big reductive of his peers, he is right. Jon left them high and dry when they needed him and acts like he’s the only one that matters. He’s a wonderful character, but he is massively flawed. I really like having Tim’s perspective coming into play. His character arc is so depressing. The moment where they both realize they’ll never get out is perfect. This is the kind of episode that fires on all cylinders. You should relisten to it.

[dwightkschrute]

In 2014 and 2015 I did a my year in review kind of thing where I, of course, reviewed it and accompanied it with a picture from that month. I somehow forgot to post 2016 (until now) and forgot to do it at all for 2017 but unfortunately, I am back with a really disappointing year. I was debating not putting myself through the legit pain of “reviewing” this year but I think of how I love going through my 2009-2010 posts and seeing how much I’ve grown so this is for you, successful and cooler future me.

2016 and 2017 were amazing but 2018 was my most promising year. My boyfriend and I were going to move in, I was going to start my dream job; everything was perfect. It definitely started out as one of the best years of my life! Then exactly halfway through the year everything changed and I was left having to pick up the pieces and completely restart, making it one of the worst years of my life.

I started January in Mexico, which was the best, but my family and I got home early in the month. I had quit my job the month before so I dedicated the entirety of this month to job hunting. Our friend (my bf’s bff who became mine and my brother’s bff early on)’s dad got a boat so it was like we got a boat too because despite the cold, we lived on it. (My boyfriend couldn’t go on the trip with us, which he was super bummed about (and that we had to spend like 10 days apart which was killer then), so he was the one to pick us up at the airport and he greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. Out of the many gifts/gestures he gave me, that was one of my favorites.)

February I started my amazing new job so life was back to 40 hour work weeks and not having much time for much else. I was always attached to the hip to my bf so almost every day after work entailed going out with him or having dinner with my family or his. That was my month. My favorite part of every February is Valentine’s Day and this one was as amazing as the rest. I don’t even have enough space (of the allotted space I give myself for each entry at least!) to describe that day. (My bf at our Valentine’s Day dinner. We finished our long day at this restaurant (so, so cool, once popular with Old Hollywood stars) on Hollywood Blvd and it was dreamy and romantic and amazing.) Oh man, I don’t have a lot of interesting things to say about March. Oh, my parents got Influenza (A/B/idk tbh), so it was two weeks of my brother, bf, and I taking care of them. My dad has a serious chronic disease so it was especially dangerous for him so it was a stressful time. Once we weren’t in hazmat suits anymore (no but really, we were gloved and double masked around them and kept them quarantined), I’d be at work or with my bf. I also started to get close with a co-worker, who I quickly became close friends with! (My bf’s two huskies. I’ve just loved that picture since I took it! I’ve never been loved by a dog more than the one in the back of this pic. Not even by my own! He has a special place in my heart.)

April was barbecues at my house or my bf’s, trying every brewery and bar around, hikes, bike rides, beach visits, baseball games, boat rides, late night cooking and baking. It was lots and lots of love and happiness and I would give absolutely anything to go back to those days. (My brother and bf grilling on Easter. This was a familiar scene, I have so many pictures of this exact scenario, yet looking at it just now made me so emotional! Stop! They’re just grilling!) May was so exciting! Very first day I got a new car! I was so happy! It was long overdue because my finicky, expensive Volkswagen had to go and I’d fallen in love with the new Honda Civic (I’ll admit I have basic taste but I don’t care!) so I finally bit the bullet and did it. This month my bf and I, after a long time of “oh wouldn’t it be nice!”, bit the bullet as well and decided to finally get serious about finding a place together. So the apartment search started, but we soon realized our home, Orange County, was super expensive. My bf, in that “ha ha jk but I’m down if you are” way, suggested we pick up and move to Oregon and I immediately agreed. It just felt right and despite us being the most careful and non-spontaneous people ever, we decided to do it! So we began to research, look for apartments but most importantly, jobs. (My car the day I took it home!)

Uhhhhhh, well, June hurts to think about! We went to visit Portland, where we decided we’d want to live because that’s where the jobs were, on a quick trip since it was strictly “business.” Portland was everything I imagined and more. We loved it and I think we loved playing house in our airbnb more than anything about the city. Back in LAX we came to the easy conclusion that though we lived Portland, that’d require a lot and for our first time moving out we’d like to stay close to home and above anything else, we just wanted to live together as soon as possible. We immediately started to look for places in LA, we spent the month apartment hunting, and towards the end of it, decided on one we really liked, one he begged me to please say yes to so we can move in already. I was so, so, so happy this month but what made me happier was seeing my bf, I swear, even happier than me. I seriously felt unstoppable and was beyond excited for our future. (I had a lot of Portland pictures to choose from but my bf and I liked this one because it reminded us of Always Sunny for some reason.)

In July, everything changed. To start, I left my job. I thought, new chapter in my life, new job coming, I’ll live really far, I should leave now. So I did. My last day was an emotional day because I loved my job so much and every single person I worked with. That very same day, my bf and I broke up. For unrelated reasons to my last day, to our moving in, to our relationship, etc. We had an amazing, amazing relationship but he has a lot of demons and issues/insecurities he has to deal with and conquer, and though I was aware and was there for him and would continue to be by his side no matter what, he decided that this was a battle he had to handle by himself and I figure before he got into a more committed situation. It didn’t have to happen, though. I hadn’t talked about the specifics of the breakup on my blog so  sorry for changing the mood of the post, but yeah, July happened and it felt like my world stopped. Really regret quitting my job now, huh? I was hit by two huge losses and changes right at the same time.  (I took this on my friend’s boat 20 tequila shots in, drunk and sad as fuck. Not to get fake deep but how sad. Literally on a boat, beautiful sunset, would rather die.)

August was a blur and I’m still not convinced I didn’t just dream it. God, alright, here we go, the rest of the year is a mess so get ready. I fell into a deep depression fast. It also didn’t help that my dad had to start getting radiation/infusions for his illness shortly after the breakup. I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed. I started dating someone else and then I dated another guy shortly after. I wanted to replace and/or forget and I really thought that’d be the solution. I was miserable when I was with them. I took absolutely any opportunity to get really drunk or high, and the opportunity came often so I spent most of my days desperately trying to not feel anything. The only time I’d feel okay was when I was extremely high and I couldn’t even think. Since I had a lot of savings for my out of state move, I had a lot of money to blow, which I did. I realized I even liked the feeling of the temporary “high” of spending a lot and receiving the stuff. I’d hang out with any friend who offered (out of boredom? loneliness?) and even ended up on a mess of a Vegas trip. Worst month ever. Maybe. (Here’s a positive! I like that bathing suit and my tiddie looks so round!)

When September came I realized two months had passed and all I had done was be a huge depressed mess. I no joke forgot about work. I just straight up forgot. I started to look for a new job, which hurt me so bad because I had to face the fact that it wouldn’t be my Cool LA Dream Job anymore. I stopped dating. Most importantly, I completely stopped drinking and smoking because it’d almost always make me sadder but also it scared me that I had no self control nor did I care. I saw a whole lot of my close friends and they, along with my immediate family, kept me afloat this month because time felt like it was going so fast. I couldn’t believe that at a blink of an eye it was night again and then a new day. Time had no mercy for me, please let me hold on. (Me at a baseball game. Tbh I’m looking at this thinking, did this really happen?)

October started out nice because my best friend of years, who I unfortunately had a falling out with three years ago, reached out to me. I’ll always give her all of the credit for doing that. I can’t begin to explain what this meant to me. It was a nice, bright shine of light that managed to shine through the dark clouds. Having my best friend is exactly what I needed. I’m a big believer in the universe acting in mysterious ways and though I had grown disappointed in its little surprise for me lately, this was the kind I always appreciate. I spent a good part of that month with her, catching up and doing things just like we did back then. It was like nothing had changed. That’s all I remember about this month, and a super fun Halloween! That day was probably one of the best days in months. (My best friend Rylee and me the first time seeing each other in 3 years. We’ve had our blogs for 8-9 years so please follow her for quality content)

November was rough. I was frustrated because surely things should had been better by then. I was still feeling so low, I was going to job interviews to no avail, I “relapsed” and had a high/drunk off my ass on a boat messy moment.. To make matters worse, I accidentally drove up on a cement divider in a parking lot and my airbags deploy, which is so expensive to fix, so my car was out of commission for a month. Then I got so sick and I rarely ever get a small cold. I seriously felt like I was cursed, even the smallest thing felt like an insult towards me. The one good thing is that since July I had been forcing myself to go to the gym five times a week. My mom said exercising was the only thing that’d help her feel that sweet release of seretonin, endorphins, dopamine, and all that good stuff when she was depressed so, though I enjoyed going to the gym before, I did it just for that reason alone. It worked and as another result I got like pretty fucking fit. Revenge body, you’re one of the few good things in my life right now. (I literally had no idea what to choose so I said fine, here’s a pic of the scene of the crime. Whatever.)

In December I turned 26. Which I hate, naturally. I went to a million more job interviews. I’m seriously so embarrassed to admit that but whatever, it’s the truth. (I have a degree, experience, and an awesome cover letter..I’ll keep blaming the curse!) What kept me sane was that we had different family members visiting from the very beginning of the month. Playing with an energetic, adorable baby kept me distracted and happy. Having so much company around also distracted me (slightly, but it helped!) from the fact that the holidays and my birthday would be quite different now. I’m one of those annoying Christmas lovers, usually at least. This year everything just happened and I didn’t care. But I survived December! (I don’t care. This is the appropriate representation of 2018 and how I feel at the end of it.)

Jesus if you’ve read all of this.. I’m sorry you had to read about the mess of my year but really more like the mess that is ME. Yknow those like “people my age I went to HS with vs me” memes? I seriously went from being that bitch with a good paying job, brand new car, a serious, great relationship with a promising future together (Like. We would color coordinate outfits! LMAO. We would have dinners with both of our families together. We were obsessed with each other. You’d roll your eyes if you saw any of this. I can’t get over how perfect we were, it’s hilarious what happened to us.) and then at the blink of an eye I went to not having absolutely any of that, casually dating (something I’d NEVER done) anyone who resembled my ex and sadly and drunkenly puking off the side of a pier. Who is she? I don’t know, I got whiplash. (Queen of parentheses and side notes, I know. But another thing about me is... I’ve never been affected by people leaving my life. I’m used to it. I’ve never been anywhere as affected as I was when my ex and I broke up. This isn’t normal for me, my ENTJ/Capricorn ass doesn’t know what this feeling is.)

Please curse that has been put on me, release me. Whoever is attacking my voodoo doll, calm down! Please! I’ve gone through enough sadness and loss. If 2019 is even slightly as bad, I’m going to be like that pigeon I reblogged the other day that’s like “fuck this I’m just going to sit here.” I can’t even make a cute but corny, hopeful “hope 2019 is great!” comment. I’m literally begging you...pleading you... I don’t believe in karma but after all of this shit, I better have something much better in stock for me. “Good things are coming!” I fucking hope so. Like, I’ll be even more annoying right now and say that it’s not fair that I didn’t get to have the future I was about to have. I don’t care about any cliche you may have for me. One door closes, everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, etc. No. Why did all of this have to happen? What can be better than the future I was going to have? I felt so unlucky. It all feels like a nightmare and I’m just waiting to feel whole again. Oh shit I got really intense. I know I’ll get over it and life will be good again eventually but for now, I am still so mad. I would have never in a million years guessed this is how my 2018 would go. 

So fine, I’ve accepted things now, so now I’m impatient and say please prove me wrong, 2019. I’m THREATENING you to be amazing!

[cmyknoise]

‘Of Crowns and Thorns’ AU HANAHAKI DISEASE IDEA

NOTE: This is based on @the-pastel-peach ‘s ‘Of Crowns and Thorns AU. It came about from the idea that, hey, this has a lot of flower things, and hanahaki disease is a thing, so let’s make it sadder and give Virgil hanahaki disease.  

Idea Post: http://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/post/173276886457/so-your-au-is-so-good-what-if-we-add-au-to-your 

People who wanted tagged when I post more writing: @allycat31415

Story under the Cut !

It had been two days since we’ve fled, two days since the light in the kingdom had burnt out. We set up camp right outside the kingdom, us, the people who’ve managed to not be affected. Two days since we’ve lost two members of our family, and we can only hope that nothing terrible has happened.  Everyone was tired, mourning. We’ve all lost people to....whatever it was that had taken over. I refuse to believe that it was solely him, he wouldn’t do this, he wouldn’t.

This whole ordeal, sure worried me. We needed to save the people, the kingdom, but the reason that I was sitting here, Logan hurriedly flipping through pages, was not because of the kingdom. My hands cradled something, something that came from me. It scared me, and continued to do so. I had gotten a cough around the time we fled, I suspected it was due to all of the movement, but this....thing suggested otherwise.

Within my hand cradled several petals, some coated in what I assumed was drops of blood. The petals were small, different shapes, and a soft red color. I had already been next to Logan when I started coughing, and once he saw what was in my hands, he dragged me to his tent set up, finding a specific book. I had no idea what he was looking for, but he seemed deeply concerned. I gave a soft cough, which turned into several heavier coughs, which only resulted in more petals within my hands. My body shook, this was weird, and it wasn’t pleasant.

The flipping of pages stopped, and Logan sat down in front of me.

“I believe that this is....” He trailed off, a frown on his face, “The only thing that I can find about coughing up petals is the rare disease, hanahaki.”

I looked at him, and back down to the petals. Hanahaki? I shook my head a bit, giving a sigh and a small throat cough.

“Logan I have no idea what that is or what that means.”

“Hanahaki, it’s a term derived from more eastern parts of the world. The cause isn’t completely known, but it is thought to come from a broken heart, or dealing with a one sided or unreciprocated love, but there may be other causes.”

Broken heart, unreciprocated love? How would that even cause something like this? I dropped the petals and wiped my hands on my dark tunic.

“Logan I don’t....none of that....”

“Virgil, do you know what flowers those petals were from?”

“No? They’re just petals Logan, how am I supposed to know what flower they’re from?”

“Rosoideae, genus Rosa. Virgil, they’re from roses.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, sinking into my seat. Roses, Roman...

“He doesn’t love me anymore?”

“Not quite. As you’ve suggested, it could possibly be something....bigger controlling him, as there’s clearly something other than his...charming smile that got everyone under him.”

I just nodded, running a hand through my hair. My chest felt heavy. All of a sudden I doubled over, coughing into my arm. I heard Logan shoot up, and his hands were suddenly on my shoulders. Clumps of petals, a flower or two, came out, all falling to the floor. 

“You need rest.....”

I sat, heaving, trying to catch my breath. I stared at the deep red petals with fear. Logan pulled me up and took me to the sleeping tent. The night was long and painful.

-

Logan had made sure Virgil went to sleep, and he hurried off to go find Patton. The idea that.....He shook his head. If there was a chance to save Roman, they had to do it, otherwise they could loose two (if Thomas was okay, if not three) of their friends, and maybe more. 

He located Patton and was quick to pull him aside, “Patton we have a big problem.”

Patton tilted his head, blinking worriedly.

“Bigger than the one we already have?”

Logan gave a nod, frowning. 

“It seems that Virgil has come down with hanahaki disease, and I suspect it’s due to whatever has happened to Roman. If we don’t...” 

Logan trailed off. He looked at Patton, and he was already beginning to tear up.

“If we don’t find a way to save Roman, we may loose Virgil too.”

-

Virgil’s condition only seemed to get worse over the next day or two. Petals had grown darker, and now he had been spitting up black petals. The survivors, Logan, and Patton had deemed that the next night, they sneak in, get the upper hand, save the kingdom. 

Virgil wanted to help and take part, but Patton wouldn’t let him, keeping him confined to his tent. Virgil had grown paler, he almost seemed fragile. There was a pile of just petal and flower remains beside his cot. 

He wanted to listen to his friends, but he couldn’t just sit around, let them fight, die. He also needed to see Roman. His heart longed for him, and he wondered if just being closer could help his ‘condition’. He had a plan, and once Logan and Patton were asleep, he took action.

-

I shakily got up from my cot, slipping on my boots and my chest-plate. I felt weak, but that couldn’t concern me. The weight of what I was even doing made me feel worse. I grabbed my sword, placing it on my belt. I was almost ready. I grabbed Roman’s red sash and tied it around my neck, using it to cover my moth. And I was out. I located my horse, jumping onto his back. A soft pat and we were off, racing back toward the kingdom. 

-

Roman stood on the balcony outside the throne room, a gentle smirk on his lips. He had seen the jumble of people from afar, he knew they were getting ready for something, and he was oh so excited to show them all who truely was in control. He squinted his golden eyes as he saw dust get kicked up from a distance

He called upon some of his guards to come with him down into the town square, he wished to see who this may be and what they wanted.

- 

Virgil rode into the kingdom fast, his horse going as fast as he could go. Virgil started coughing, but he held them in as he rode. 

He didn’t get off the horse until he saw...Roman? He pulled the reins of his horse, slowing him down. He jumped off, pulling the red fabric from his face. He coughed hard, and called out.

“Roman!”

Roman had the guards draw their sword, squinting at the other. Virgil stumbled forward, falling a few feet in front of Roman. He was winded, and looked in pain. 

The King was cautious, squinting down at the other/

“And what’s gotten into you, huh pet?” 

Virgil shook his head, coughing again, Black petals and roses fell from his lips, getting coughed up onto the ground.

“This is kinda pathetic huh?” 

Roman nudged Virgil with his foot. His head shot up as he heard the heavy pounding of a horse running. Upon a dark stallion was Logan and Patton. They knew something was wrong, especially since Logan had been awoken by the sound of a horse leaving, and finding Virgil gone. 

“Get away from him Roman!”

Patton was...angry. Patton didn’t get angry, and he was very mad at their ‘friend’.

Roman rolled his eyes, “And why should I do that ‘tough guy’?” 

Patton ran up behind Virgil, staring up at the dark king, “Because you’re the one who did this.”

-

Looking down at Patton, watching as Patton pulled Virgil back. A growl came from my throat, but was cut short as what Patton said hit my ears.

I did this? How did I do this? What did I do to hurt...him?

Logan had followed slowly after Patton, a sword in hand, but I couldn’t be bothered. What had I done? Why was It bothering me? I shouldn’t care. They left me, they refused to join me, support me. But....he was...hurting? It hurt me. 

A few black petals fell from my crown, and I shook my head, my guards stepping back. 

-

Logan blinked, examining Roman. He noticed that the flowers on his crown had started to wilt, a couple falling off. He also noticed the emotions and looks running through Roman’s face and body. He was confused, hurt, concerned. 

He squinted, taking in this information. It seemed that no matter what, Roman still cared, and that’s just what they needed. Kill the crown, bring out the Roman they know and love, help Virgil.

Logan adjusted his glasses, “You loved him, did you not Roman? It seems he’s come down with hanahaki, a disease that affects a broken heart, or those plagued by a one sided love. That’s just what you did to him-”

Virgil started to cough again, and Patton held him close, rubbing his back, from the mess of black petals, a single red one came up.

-

I....stopped loving him? I never....My hands went up to my hair, gripping it. Pain shot through my body and I gave a growl. 

“He’s weak.”

No he’s not. He’s not weak. Virgil is not weak. I never stopped loving him. A tear fell down mu cheek, more petals falling in front of my eyes. 

What am I doing? 

-

It was working. Logan watched as the gold eyes faded back to Roman’s normal soft brown eyes. Roman had started to cry, or it seemed like it, the flowers on his crown dying. 

Speaking of dying, Virgil seemed close to just that. He was having an issue catching his breath, every few seconds hacking up more petals and flowers, but more and more started coming out red. 

“He’s dying you know...Roman, though you don’t care anymore do you? All you care about is being royal.”

It was hard, speaking so raw and harsh toward a friend, but whatever helped pull out Roman’s emotions, Logan would do. 

Patton continued to try and sooth Virgil, crying a bit himself. Virgil was a good friend, like a brother, a son, and he didn’t wan’t anything to happen to him. 

-

Virgil was dying. That phrase kept repeating over and over. I fell to my knees, guards and other members under my command falling as I did. Virgil...he couldn’t die. The crown broke apart, falling. My heart pounded heavy in my chest as I scoot forward, taking Virgil from Patton’s arms, holding him in my own. I apologized, over and over, I never meant for any of this to happen. 

He gasped, arms moving to grip my own. He gave one more cough, though this time thankfully nothing came up. I hugged him tightly. 

“I am so sorry....so so so sorry. I love you, I do, I love love love you, all of you guys...”

Logan gave a sigh, and Patton threw himself forward to hug us two. Logan dropped down and joined in on the hug. 

I suddenly froze and blinked. 

“Maybe we should go get Thomas from the dungeon.”

[cubedcoffeecake]

Unfortunately, That Was Better in Theory

Pairing: gen Drarry

Word Count: ~3200

Beta'd by the AMAZING @drarrytingz. Much love to her. <3 This is the top right corner square of my board for HD Birthday Bash's first challenge, Fic Tac Toe. The picture is of Hogwarts at night, and my brain went right to first year. So, understandably, the Drarry is far from romantic at this point. The story somehow started picking up headcanons as it snowballed down the hill, though, so I have to admit that this is only very loosely based on the actual prompt. Also posted on Ao3. I hope you enjoy!

It was terrifying, sneaking out of the dorms at night. Draco couldn’t fathom why Potter did it so much. Initially, he  thought Potter just enjoyed the freedom of it, but this wasn’t freedom. This wasn’t just getting to do whatever you wanted, which was an admittedly pleasing thought. This was knowing that you’d face horrible consequences if anyone saw you—consequences heavy enough to negate any enjoyment. He had a mission, though, and it was a noble one.

From the time Draco was a small child, he had loved dragons. They were mighty, and strong, and beautiful, and special. They were a remnant of the times of wizards past, when dragons were commonly known by both Muggles and magical alike. All of the Ancient Noble Houses claimed some convoluted connection to dragons. They were associated with riches, and with preserving your own. Everything Draco was and wanted to be could be found in a dragon.

Adoring dragons and owning them, however, were very different. Mother and Father encouraged him to admire dragons, but ensured he never forgot that dragons’ most noteworthy trait was their independence. They did not share their hoard. They did not fly with others. They were great, but they were solitary. They had neither masters nor friends. Dragons were meant to be remembered and respected, but admired from afar. Owning one was a preposterous concept that disregarded and denied dragons their independence, and always ended poorly for the foolish “owner.” Draco wanted to be like a dragon, but he knew not to want one.

Hagrid, however, was a fool. No matter how great the creature, he always believed that he could be both their owner and their friend. As if dragons had either! “Raising a dragon egg” was an insult!

Draco had known the moment he heard of this travesty that he had to put a stop to it. The authorities would kill it, though, and dragon reserves were too scrupulous  for the appearance of a random dragon egg not to arouse suspicion. Draco  had to find a way to alert the professors. Surely, they would take the matter to the school board, and Father would ensure the dragon was given sanctuary! It was the only way everything would work out. The only problem was, Draco had to catch Potter with the egg, or Hagrid would have a chance to hide it, which would only cause more trouble.

In Draco’s mind, using Potter’s own nightly stint against him would work perfectly. Aside from the minor rule-breaking on his part, this was a chance for everything to go smoothly.

Chances meant nothing, as it turned out. The dragon was now beyond Draco’s help and he had not only broken the rules, but also fallen for Potter’s ruse and was, therefore, a fool. Professor Snape may have believed him, but whether or not Draco was in the right would not matter to Father. He had been caught. No matter how wonderful your intentions, they’re meaningless if you’re caught.

A Malfoy had not received detention in four generations, and no Malfoy had ever been in a detention as severe as Draco’s. No Malfoy had ever lost Slytherin as many points at once as Draco had, and many Malfoys had not lost that many points during their entire time at Hogwarts. Many, Draco thought, was more likely most. Though Father was softening the blows a bit in his letters, Draco knew the underlying message was true.

He had been at Hogwarts for less than a semester, and had already sullied his family name—the one thing he was trying hardest not to do. So, as frustrated and worried as Draco was leading up to  his detention, he knew he deserved it, at least to some extent. Though he was giving Vincent and Gregory an earful about the unfairness of it all, Draco knew  it was more unpleasant than unfair.

Well, that’s what Draco had thought before learning that he would be entering the Forbidden Forest. There was nothing fair about that. Had Father known? Surely, this must be illegal!

The bushes crackled, and Draco jumped. He had read all about the kinds of creatures that occupied the Forest, and heard of the lesser known  ones from Father. Draco used to believe the Forbidden Forest would be similar to the ones he enjoyed exploring on the Malfoy lands, but they were in fact extremely different. Malfoy forests had mice and nice little rat snakes, swift and shining, but ultimately harmless. There were owls and hawks and songbirds, toads and beetles and worms, buzzing insects he knew better as potion ingredients, deer, foxes, and some other harmless small creatures. Few things magical, though, outside of a few benign creatures and plants also commonly used in potions.

In the Forbidden Forest, though….

As Draco trudged along by Potter and his Gryffindor cronies, his mind was filled with visions of werewolves and centaurs and too-big cats with too-big teeth, and twisted magical versions of foxes that worked in packs to disorient you and then eat you, and fish with teeth as long as his fingers, and poisonous toads, vicious disease-bearing insects, deadly flora, and whatever was apparently killing unicorns, some unknown monster beyond imagination that no one knew how to combat. Draco had been afraid many times in his life, but he had never been so acutely afraid of his own death before. His only solace was that Hagrid, brute that he was, might be a more desirous food source for whatever they’d encounter. Perhaps Draco would have time to run while it ate him. He could grab Potter, too, maybe, drag him with him. Even gits like Potter didn’t really deserve a death that terrible. As long as it got to Hagrid first….

No, but of course, Draco was paired with Potter while the other two got Hagrid and a feral dog that was as likely to attack them as anything of the Forest. He’d changed his mind. Potter could die as horribly as he wanted, Draco was just going to run.

Unfortunately, running worked better in theory than in practice.

Yes, of course, Draco and Potter encountered the unicorn-killing beast. Humanoid, horrifying, and looking like it would eat them next. And of course, Draco followed his plan and ran, leaving Potter to be eaten first.

It was faster, though—so much faster. Which would’ve been all right, as it did indeed go straight for Potter, but…

Draco had gotten into this mess because he cared too much. He could pretend to be as logical and cold-hearted and calculating as could be asked of him, but in reality, he was willing to break a school rule and endanger his own status to save a dragon. Draco couldn’t just leave Potter behind at the mercy of that… that… thing.

He stopped, and he turned around, and he tried to think of the strongest, nastiest curse he’d ever heard Father cast. Not an Unspeakable, Draco knew you couldn’t cast those until you were older… not anything that would mess with the mind, who knew if it even had one…but it needed to cause extreme physical harm…

Too long! He was thinking too much! It had grabbed Potter by the neck, and now he was screaming, screaming, screaming. Draco couldn’t tell where it was coming from, but there was blood everywhere, both red, human blood and the priceless silvery unicorn blood already turning black as he watched. Why was he still just watching? It was reaching its other hand up; it was going to snap Potter’s neck, oh Merlin, he was going to watch someone die. Merlin Merlin Merlin, where was Fang? How could Draco do anything if the terrifying hellhound had fled?!

There was a sound, echoing over Potter’s screams. Laughter. It was laughing as it reached to snap Potter’s neck, and… that was it. Rage overpowered Draco’s terror. He didn’t know what he incanted, or if he spoke at all. He simply cast, wildly, and it looked up at him, but his magic was faster than even its reflexes, and Draco’s magic launched it across the clearing with an inhuman howl. It hit the ground by the unicorn with a crunch.

Draco paused for a moment as what he’d just done sunk in.. He’d… he’d attacked it. Oh Merlin, it was going to wake up and kill them both now!

“Potter!” he cried, running forward. “Potter, get up! We have to go now, before it comes back over!”

“I—what?” Potter started to sit up as Draco reached him, but his eyes were dazed and unfocused. With a grimace, Draco guessed that Potter probably wouldn’t be okay enough to think for a while. Hopefully, he was just recovering from the lack of oxygen; if he was concussed, Draco likely would not be able to help him escape the Forest in time.

“Look here, Potter. You are going to do exactly what I say, and you’re going to do it quickly, and we’re going to live. Yes? Yes?!”

“Yes! I—okay,” Potter stuttered.

That was enough answer for Draco, who grabbed Potter’s arm and pulled up. He couldn’t hear any noise from the clearing, which wasn’t nearly as reassuring as it should have been. Potter scrambled to comply with Draco’s tugs, and together they got him upright. Immediately, Draco started pulling them into a run toward where he thought the edge of the Forest probably was...hopefully. Potter stumbled more than ran, but Draco’s vice-like grip kept him upright and moving.

“Where are—do we have a plan? Or are we just running?” Potter huffed after a minute, beginning to run more on his own power than Draco’s. He seemed far too calm for the situation; Draco was so scared he couldn’t articulate an answer. After a moment, Potter must have realized this, as he suddenly started yelling for Hagrid’s mutt, which… was actually brilliant. Draco joined in with the yelling. The unicorn killer was probably on their tail already—though Draco couldn’t bring himself to look back and check.

There was a sharp crack to their right, and Draco gasped. At the same moment that Fang leaped through the bushes, Draco lost his footing and fell, his ankle cracking more sharply than the twigs Fang had snapped.

“Fang! Thank Merlin, he can show us the way—oh no, Malfoy?!”

A distant part of his head registered that someone—Potter, probably—was speaking, but Draco couldn’t focus on it. All he could feel was the shooting pain in his lower leg, the thudding of his heart, the lightness in his head, and the soft but solid ground under him. His eyes drifted shut, and he let out a shallow breath. Draco could feel himself losing consciousness, but wasn’t fighting it, until he felt a hand on his shoulder, distracting him from the pain and his heart and his breathing, and bringing the terrified begging, “Please don’t pass out, Malfoy, please, I don’t know what to do—” into focus.

Potter, he realized. I—I have to get up. I have to get up. He doesn’t know what to do. I have to get up. Draco’s breath rushed back to him, and he pushed himself off the ground just enough to roll over, wincing at the pain that shot through his leg.

“Oh, thank Merlin! Malfoy, are you alright? I don’t know where it is, but it can’t be too far behind us, just enough that Fang isn’t scared, I think—oh—oh—your ankle… it shouldn’t bend like that.” Potter sounded like he might be green in the face.

“Brilliant, Potter,” he groused, “but I did notice.” For once Potter didn’t rise to the bait.

“You’re gonna—we’re gonna need to find somewhere to hide, for the night, and then we can have Fang lead us out in the morning, I—I can help you walk, I think….”

“No! Well, I… I…” Draco didn’t have a better idea. “Okay.”

“O—Okay. Yeah. Here, let’s just, I’ll drag you under those bushes over there. Yeah. Can I grab under your arms?”

“I suppose.”

“Alright… here we go… I’ve got you… Ouch, you’re heavier than you look!”

“Are you calling me fat?! Now, here?!”

“No!”

“Maybe you’re just weak.”

“I am not! How could you—can you not? For one minute?!”

“Not what? Point out your stupidity?”

“Yes! I mean, no! I’m not stupid—”

Suddenly, Fang whined, and both boys gasped and fell silent. Potter nearly dropped Draco as he quickly looked around. There were a bunch of glowing eyes in the trees behind them.

“Oh Merlin—we’re going! Help me, please, if you can?” Potter said quickly, sounding panicked. Draco’s heart was pounding again, and he tried to use his uninjured leg to push himself along.

The eyes disappeared for a moment, just to suddenly reappear all around them. Everywhere. Draco screamed.

Draco thought he’d woken up, for a moment, but all he could see were faint, swimming lights. Dull ones, at that. His body felt weightless, with some kind of light pressure all over. He drifted away—no, he couldn’t have, he’d never been awake in the first place.

When he awoke again, however, it was to pain and screaming. His pain, not his screaming. Harry…Harry’s screaming. Potter. Oh, Merlin.

Eyes shooting open, Draco gasped as he blurrily surveyed his surroundings. There was movement everywhere, and Potter was still screaming—though it sounded more like a battle cry than Draco thought his ever had. Looking closer… oh.

Spiders. All of the movement was from spiders. Huge, hairy spiders that were all revolving around Potter, who…

Well, Potter was just curled against a tree, and when Draco realized there was a giant snake separating him from the spiders… he fainted. Not from terror, of course; it was entirely due to his injuries. He’d swear it later. Injured, remember? Ankle.

“Malfoy. Malfoy! Are you in there? Please, please wake up… I don’t… I don’t know what I’ll… you cannot die. Do you hear me?!”

“Of course I hear you, you never shut up,” Draco mumbled. Then he paused. “Wait.”

“I’ll explain everything! Just, whoa, I don’t think… that you can—should! That you should stand yet,” Potter stuttered as Draco tried to push himself upright.

“I—” Draco had too little leverage. He didn’t know what was going on at all. He’d been in the Forest… with Potter… unicorn-eater… spiders. Giant snake. “Yes. Explain. Everything. Now.”

Potter looked disbelieving and exasperated. Good. Draco shouldn’t be the only one miserable here.

“So… we were both, um, attacked by spiders? Really big ones. I think they attacked us. But yeah, we—I, woke up in a spider web… cocoon? All wrapped up in silk. And I was… well I didn’t have my wand, so… powerless, I guess. Couldn’t do anything.

“I just started crying for help as loudly as I could. I called for Fang, and Hagrid, and McGonagall…even Snape, eventually. I thought he might care about you enough to look, and all. But no one answered or anything, so I started calling for anyone to help us, please, and all of a sudden I heard someone! They answered! Something about hearing a speaker, and that being rare or something, and that they’d save me! I mean, us; I insisted they save us both….”

“A… mysterious voice. Agreed to save you.”

“Us!”

“Uh huh.”

“It did!”

“Oh, so go on. How was I saved by this wonderful voice?”

Potter appeared to be full of righteous indignation for his friend, the disembodied voice. “They cut us free from the spiders’ ropes! And then chased off the spiders!” Wait. Wait.

“Potter...was this disembodied voice a giant snake?!”

Potter froze. “You… woke up during that?” he asked tentatively, starting to… blush? “I swear, Malfoy, I was just screaming because I was disoriented. I grabbed you as soon as I realized what was going on!”

“You talked to a snake! Do you know what that means?”

“I’m not as stupid as you thought I was?”

“You’re a Parselmouth!” Draco screeched.

“Can you at least stick with insults I understand?” Potter complained.

“No, you utter imbecile! Being able to speak Parseltongue is a blood-given magical ability passed down in the most powerful descendants of Salazar Slytherin, that allows the witch or wizard  to speak to snakes—and some variations of dragon—and cast some spells wandlessly because it is a distilled language of literal magic! You don’t learn it, can’t learn it, but if you speak it, you automatically know everything about it! Perfect grammar, full vocabulary… Potter, you being a Parselmouth means you are the greatest Slytherin to grace Hogwarts’ halls since… I don’t even know! Slytherin himself, perhaps! The Dark Lord was also a Parselmouth, but you’ve bested him, which makes you a stronger Parselmouth, and… Merlin.” Draco gasped in a few breaths and stared dazedly at a tree. He now knew  a Parselmouth. He’d been saved from giant spiders in the Forbidden Forest by a Parselmouth. He’d…

“But… I’m a Gryffindor!”

He’d forgotten that Potter was also stupid.

“That’s your personality, not your magic identity,” Draco recited. “I don’t remember the rest of that drivel, it’s in Hogwarts: A History somewhere, but it’s a true bit. I’d hate to room with you or Weasley, but all that means is that I like a quiet, clean dorm room, not that I can never do a brave thing, or be bold. They have nothing to do with each other. No, Potter, you’re definitely a Parselmouth.” Draco was gazing dreamily again.

Potter’s jaw hung open for a moment, and he seemed insulted, for some reason, but Draco went on, not paying him much attention.

“Parselmouths have a unique advantage over ordinary wizards, just like Metamorphmagi, for example. Most known Parselmouths have either become hermits, so they can live peacefully with mostly snakes and natural magic for their company, or have become strong leaders of something or another. In those cases, they’re usually untouchable because the level of servitude they receive from serpents makes it terrifying to even think of assassinating them…”

“Stop!”

Draco jumped and looked over at Potter.

“I don’t even want to know how you know this much about this stuff, but all I’m hearing is you spouting off facts about people who are…” Potter’s voice was trembling. “Who are not me, and are not stuck in the Forbidden Forest with another injured person. Yeah, I talked to a snake, they saved us from the spiders, but from now on, we’re on our own. All that about… greatness? Was that the moral of the story? That can wait. Right now, we need to live.”

At first Draco was hurt, a feeling that soon became offense. Moral?! He wasn’t a bloody Gryffindor! Potter had a great gift! He was equipping him with knowledge, as a fellow Slytherin! That hadn’t been Potter’s point, though. As soon as his ankle was mentioned, the pain in it returned with a vengeance, and Draco faced the truth. Potter was right. They must escape the Forest, and they must do it quickly.

“It’s… it’s morning light right now. You were right, a few minutes ago,” Draco said softly, “Headmaster Dumbledore will be sending out professors soon to look for us. We should be alright, if we can stay awake...are you...injured? Should I try to wrap anything?” Though the offer was extended awkwardly, Draco did it anyway. This was no longer just another ignorant, Muggle-raised peer. Potter was going to be great.

[blueyesandleatherjacket]

Regenerate Nine Day: Bring me to life

Volume: 1.

Number of parts: 8/?.

Pairings: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler.

Synopsis: "And the Doctor had been there, sat next to her, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up. They had just landed on Earth when he found out that something was wrong, that Rose wasn’t waking up."

A/N: Today is Regenerate Nine Day (9/9) and so I've decided to repost all the one-shots I've written about the Ninth Doctor, whether they are DW verse or not to celebrate this fantastic Doctor. The first shot to be post is a rewriting of Journey's end.

“A hero is somebody who is selfless, who is generous in spirit, who just tries to give back as much as possible and help people. A hero to me is someone who saves people and who really cares.” - Debi Mazar.

BRING ME TO LIFE:

The events of the Satellite 5 were still running through his head now that he was back on Earth. Just like he had promised so many times, he had brought Rose back to her mother. Her mother who had helped her going back to him though the Doctor was pretty sure Jackie hated him. And now, she was going hate him even more because of a decision he hadn’t even taken. He had sent Rose back on Earth when the Daleks threat became out of control, when he knew for sure that he was going to die that day. He had fulfilled his promise. He had protected her and sent her back to her mother when things went deadly dangerous. However, Rose had come back. Rose had absorbed the whole Vortex and had come back to save him because she couldn’t bear the idea of losing him when he had sent her away so she wouldn’t die in a war that wasn’t hers. She had become the Bad Wolf, a goddess of time and space, an entity more powerful than the Time Lords all together. He hadn’t known that seeing the heart of the TARDIS being ripped open by Margaret Blaine would give Rose the idea of doing so. Hadn’t he warned her how dangerous it was to look into the Vortex? Hadn’t he told her that she would burn if she did so? Why his companions never listened to what he was saying? She had done it whatever he could have said about it and the power of the Vortex had slowly burned through her veins and brain. Oh, she had been so beautiful and so powerful his Rose. Her action had been so pure, so selfless. A simple human sacrificing her life for him. He had wanted to return the favour, to pull the Vortex out of her body but before he could do a thing, she had let go. The Vortex had gone back in the TARDIS’ heart and Rose had lost consciousness. The Daleks were gone; people were dead and he got to get out of the situation. Alive, once again. The Time War had ended a second time and he was alive because a human he loved dearly had given everything for him to stay alive. He had gathered her in his arms and had carried her back into the TARDIS, carefully laying her down on the grating. He had entered the coordinates of planet Earth, 2005. He had needed to bring Rose back to Jackie, leaving Jack behind them because he was now a mistake, something that shouldn’t exist. And the Doctor had been there, sat next to her, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up. They had just landed on Earth when he found out that something was wrong, that Rose wasn’t waking up. He had brought her back to Jackie’s flat and accepted all the anger Jackie had for him, especially he had told her that Rose Tyler was slowly dying and he didn’t know why. “I promise to do anything in my power to help her!” he cried out in pain after Jackie had slapped him. “She wouldn’t be dying if he wasn’t for you!” “I brought her home before anything could happen. She’s the one who came back!” “She wanted to save you! She loves you for God’s sake!” The words cracked in the air and hit the Doctor straight in the hearts who beat a bit faster than usual. He didn’t reply though. He already knew it was true. He had seen it. He had seen all the signals she tried to hide the best she could. She hadn’t wanted him to know about it, had been afraid of him sending her back on Earth if he knew. So she had bottled them up and kept them secret. Except he had known it all along. He hadn’t wanted that to happen at all and Jackie could go away with all her insinuations like he was the one responsible for turning her head. Rose had wanted to see the stars. She had told him so the first time they talked together. He had promised her he would take her to the stars and when he did, she had wanted to stay and he had accepted because he liked her. Rose Tyler was strong and sassy, and compassionate. She had helped him heal and didn’t even know it. But then again, those feelings she had for him had made her flout the laws he had given her the first time she stepped in the TARDIS. He had kept his word, sending Rose back home to her mother, safe and sound, but she had chosen to look into the TARDIS’ heart and absorbed the whole Vortex just to save him while he had told her and Jack that they should never do such a thing, that even him couldn’t do it without dying. She had just wanted to save him, and now she was dying. All because of him. “I’ll do everything I can to heal her. I promise.” “You better do that!” “When it’ll be done, I’ll disappear from your lives. You’ll tell her whatever you want, that I’m dead or anything. She must never know what she really had done. She must never remember what she had seen.” That was his last words before he left Jackie’s flat to go back to the TARDIS. He sat for a long moment staring at the console, not really knowing where to go and what to do. He had promised Jackie he would do something to help Rose but he actually had no idea what he could possibly do. He suddenly got up and entered coordinates. Satellite 5. Where everything had gone wrong. Maybe there were some answers back there. The TARDIS landed to the exact same place she was when Rose had come back for him. The Doctor walked out and looked around. Everything was so peaceful now. The Satellite had been abandoned after the mess they had left there. No one had come here in ages. The weapon he’d created was still there. No one had touched it. No one had stripped it down. In a move of pure anger, he destroyed the whole thing. If he hadn’t been a coward, Rose would have been perfectly fine. He sat down on the ground and took his head in his hands. He was living the last few hours once again, as the memories flowed into his mind. He stayed that way for a long moment. The place was a total no man’s land. No one would disturb him there. That’s why he had come there in the first place. But now, his thoughts were driving him crazy. How was he supposed to heal Rose from the disease killing her? She had had so many months and years to live and the Vortex had burned all those chances for her to have a decent life. He sighed deeply. He was guilty for this all down the line. The calm around him was helping him thinking but that didn’t bring him any answers. It was insane! How did all of this happen? How could he have let this happen? He was focused on his questions but clearly heard some noise which caught his attention. He raised his head. He was supposed to be alone there. “Who’s there?” he asked. No one showed up but the Doctor knew someone was there. He could sense it. Plus, that someone wasn’t very quiet. Whoever it was, he probably thought he was alone and maybe deaf, considering the fact that the Doctor calling him hadn’t made him stop whatever he was doing. Or she. The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and went to check the surroundings. Something was weird. His mind, usually full of emptiness and loneliness, had now some voice speaking in his back, just like it was when Time Lords were still alive. He tried not to hope too much. That couldn’t be possible. No Time Lords had survived the Time War. He had tried and tried to contact them but none had ever answered. He was alone. The presence he was feeling in his mind at the present moment couldn’t be a Time Lord one. It was some other telepathic species for sure. The Satellite was desert. There was no sign of life anywhere. The sonic didn’t seem to find anything either, but the Doctor was convinced there was something or someone with him, something or someone who was filling the emptiness of his mind. When he realised there was nothing around, he got confused and was about to give up when he heard the noise again. His eyes caught the outline of someone running away. A thin brown-haired guy with a long coat. The Doctor immediately ran after him. He had to catch him and to ask him why he was around that no man’s land and why he was watching him. No one was supposed to be there. He had chosen that specific date so no one would come and disturb him while he was trying to find a solution for Rose. He ran until he could catch the guy who had no chance to run away with him. That other man raised his hands when the Doctor pinned him to the wall, showing him that he wouldn’t flee from him. “Who are you?” “You’re not supposed to see me, nor talk to me,” replied the thin brown-haired guy. He was speaking with a strong Eastern accent and the Doctor had to hold back a smile. When she had learned that he was an alien, Rose, had asked how it was possible that he sounded like he’d come from the North. “Lots of planets have a North” he had replied offended. Obviously, lots of planets did also have an East, because that guy he was holding was clearly not human, according to the signals he was producing. The signals were confusing though. The man seemed to be a strong telepathic since he could get in the Doctor’s head but everything else was blurred. As if he was trying to hide who he really was with a perception filter. The filter would have prevented the Doctor from seeing the guy though. So, who was he? And what was he doing there, on a no man’s land where no one was even allowed to come? The Doctor looked closely at the strange man. He was wearing a brown pinstriped suit, white shirt and a tie with blue patterns. With that suit, he was wearing beige Converses – Converses with a suit, wherever that man came from, he had no sense of fashion! – and a brown trench coat. His hair was a real mess, defying the gravity – he was probably using some hair gel or something, thinking it made him look cool – and his face was one of the most expressive the Doctor had ever seen. The guy was clearly showing that he wasn’t happy that the Doctor had found him there. It looked like it wasn’t a good thing for them to be there together at the same time, as if they weren’t supposed to see each other, nor to talk to each other. Even though that feeling of forbidden, the Doctor didn’t let him go. He had the feeling in his guts that the guy knew something about his Rose. “You’re not supposed to be here. This is a sealed place. No one can come in.” “You did. I did.” “What the hell are you doing here?” “If you told you, I would be force to erase your memories right after.” The Doctor started to become impatient and his anger was burning through his veins. He had no time to waste with some idiot who was traveling to places he shouldn’t be. He had to find a solution for Rose and if that guy did have answer, he would give them to him. But who was he to threaten him? Didn’t his travels teach him that he was the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness? Didn’t he ever hear about the Time War and how he was the only survivor? Better not mess up with him. If he kept speaking to him that way, someone would be hurt and the Doctor knew it wouldn’t be him for sure. “Who do you think you are to threaten me that way? You obviously don’t know me. I could kill you right now.” “I know what you’re capable of more than anyone. You don’t kill people, you save them. You’re the Doctor.” “…” “Never cruel or cowardly. Never give up, never give in.” “It was before the War. Everything changed with the War.” His tone was bitter. The guy obviously knew who he was and why he had chosen this name. He certainly knew about the Time War too but that didn’t explain why he was here and now. His icy blue eyes locked with the hazel brown ones. So much sadness, so much despair in there. It was like looking in the mirror, except they were both different. The Doctor was a warrior, a survivor and that pretty guy probably was the popular guy on his planet, somewhere in the galaxy. He probably had no reason to feel so much pain. But who was he to judge anyway? “I came here to help you with Rose. I came here to help you saving her before it’s too late, but you weren’t supposed to see me.” While saying that, he pulled out a paper from his pocket and gave it to the Doctor. The Doctor took it, not understanding what that meant. He let go of the guy but kept him in his sight. He unfolded the paper and started reading the small letter. His eyes kept going between the written words and the guy. He couldn’t believe what was written. It was unbelievable. He would have known. He would have known if something so big had been happening right under his nose. “How do you know all of this?” “How do you know all the things you know?” “Don’t answer me with another question!” “I forgot how full of rage I was!” “Don’ push me!” “Rose was already sick when she started travelling with you.” That was the second time in a few hours that words cracked in the air and smacked him across the face, and clutched his hearts. A silence followed the sentence. The man was just repeating what he had written in the letter. Was it true? If it was, why Jackie would blame him for it? He felt guilty, but what if it wasn’t his fault? What if Rose had really been sick before he even met her? And how could he have not noticed it in any way? The letter was saying she had been suffering from that disease ever since she was seven, that Jackie had given everything they had to have her treated, that she had given a chance to every single cure the doctors had told her about, but none ever worked. Rose had been fighting for her life for almost thirteen years now, and the Doctor couldn’t believe that was even true, that she would have been sick all along and that he wouldn’t have seen a thing. “Is that even possible?” “Yes. Remember that time she answered your message? She has just gotten home after a few days at the hospital where she almost died. You gave her as much hope as she has given you. When it felt hard for her, she held on to the hope of meeting you someday. And it happened. You travelled together and she never felt so alive.” The Doctor listened to the words of the other man. He didn’t cut him off. He thought quickly. That guy wasn’t supposed to know all those things. There was only one way for him to know those things and that was explaining why he didn’t want to be seen. “That’s why she absorbed the Time Vortex,” The Doctor suddenly said. “She knew that she could die, but that didn’t matter because she was already dying. She thought her life wasn’t worth it and chose to save mine.” “She did the only thing she thought was right. She decided to give her life to save the one of the men who was everything to her eyes. Dying to save you was her way to thank you for everything you’ve done for her.” “Why would Jackie put the blame on me?” “She likes you more than she would ever admit it. She thinks you’re the only one able to save her daughter.” “But I don’t know what to do!” That was the truth. He had absolutely no idea of how he was going to help the woman he loved, even if he could never admit it. After all, he was a nine hundred years old alien who had seen and done things she couldn’t even imagine and she was just a tiny little human, a human who had jumped into his box, into his life and who had healed him from the wounds he had had when they met. He still had them but they had started to heal thanks to her love and compassion and smiles. She would never know what she’d done for him, because he never had never told her how he felt for her, how much she had helped him. And that was destroying him inside down. He couldn’t let her die, not after everything they’d lived together. He had to save her, even if that meant disappearing from her life forever without telling her how he felt and how fantastic she was. “Actually, you do. I’m the future you, you have guessed it by now.” “What happened?” “You gave her your life. Enough regenerative energy to heal her and kill you. You struggled until you learned that she was going to live. Then, you left and allowed the regeneration.” “Where is she now?” The future Doctor didn’t answer his question. That was part of the future, of his own future. He had already crossed his own timeline and created a real mess by making himself seen by his old self. He would have to erase their memories to heal the wound in their timeline. His old self couldn’t remember that day, the day they would save Rose Tyler from a certain death. The tenth bit his lower lip. He had to say it, but what he had to say would certainly not please the ninth. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” That simple sentence meant everything. The Doctor knew and it made his hearts sink into his chest. By the sad look on his future self, by the sad tone of his voice, by the apologies he had made, the Doctor knew that his life hadn’t been enough. “How?” “I respected your promise and left their lives. I erased Rose’s memories of us but not Jackie’s. She has kept me updated, told me everything about Rose, about her new life, about her health. Everything was good. She was fine and living the life we wanted her to live but… About a year later, Jackie told me Rose did a violent relapse. She was at the hospital when I came back. I overheard the doctors about her health. They said… They said it was over. And I held Jackie against me when Rose left.” He wanted to add something but the violence of the memory left him speechless and he couldn’t prevent the tears from falling as the pain crushed his hearts once again. The ninth felt his own throat being knotted. He didn’t want this to happen. Was Rose timeline set or could he rewrite her history?

– Flashback –

  The tenth was on his way back to the TARDIS after defeating a whole army of Cybermen once again when the bad feeling hit, clutching his hearts and taking away his breath with a sudden unbearable pain. He stumbled back to his box, threw his coat on a coral strut and let himself fall on the jump seat. That was when the TARDIS’ phone rang. He looked at it, not moving because he knew that if he picked up the phone the news he would get would be an awful one. Only one person had that number and if she was calling it, that meant something had happened. And that also explained why he had that bad feeling ruining him. The symptoms were telling him that he was kinda having a panic attack, because he knew what it meant. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before picking up the phone. Jackie was hysterical. More than usual.   “You need to come back now! She yelled at him through the phone. “What’s going on?”   He couldn’t prevent his voice from trembling. The question was stupid. He knew. It was about Rose. It was always about Rose. If It hadn’t been for Rose, Jackie would never have called him. She once again got into a long and hysterical speech. He didn’t even understand a word coming from her, but he could clearly hear the tears, the pain and the despair in her voice. Something had happened to Rose.   “Stop, Jackie! I know it’s about Rose! Just tell me what happened to her!”   His voice was still trembling and the pain in hers was echoing the one he was feeling. He knew that was something serious, something serious enough for Jackie to lose her calm. Only one thing. Only one thing could make her go hysterical. But that couldn’t be. He had made sure of it, but what if that hadn’t been enough? What if the disease had come back?   “She looked tired this morning. She looked peaky. She just said that she must have caught some cold, what else could it be anyway? She was cured, Doctor! You cured her and now, everything is starting all over again!” “What?”   He had given his ninth life for her. He used all the regenerative energy of his past body to heal her. The disease was gone. Fully gone. It shouldn’t have come back, not ever.   “Her boss called me a few hours after she started working. Said she was having troubles breathing, that she was coughing blood. They called an ambulance. She was admitted into intensive care unit before I could be there. They told me she did a relapse.”   She took a break and the Doctor could tell she was crying. He himself had some troubles breathing. He couldn’t believe that was true. How a relapse could have happened? With his regenerative energy running in her veins – even with a very small amount of it – it shouldn’t have happened.   “She is in the coma, Doctor. They don’t know if she’s gonna wake up.” She sniffled. “I need you here. She needs you here.” “On my way.” He managed to mutter though his throat was knotted.   It only took a few minutes before the TARDIS landed in a small closet of the hospital, close to Rose’s room. The Doctor came out quietly, being careful not to be seen by anyone, and walked to the room. He hadn’t needed to ask where the room was. The TARDIS always knew how to bring him close to Rose. The Doctor saw Jackie. She was outside the room and speaking with a black woman with a white smock. He stopped and listened to the conversation.   “We did a PET scan and further exams to be sure. There’s no doubt. It’s back, and it’s everywhere.” “Can’t you do something?” “No.” The doctor shook her head lightly. “I’m sorry. It’s over. The only thing we can do is ease her pain until she let go. It won’t take very long. You should say goodbye to your daughter.”   The doctor was truly sorry for Jackie. She put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a sad look. The tenth felt his hearts sink in his chest. It was over. His life hadn’t been enough to save her, and Rose was dying right there, behind the door of that sad hospital room. He was shaking when he walked to the room and opened it without a word for Jackie. He was unable to speak anyway. He swallowed thickly. Rose looked so small and so pale in that bed. There were too many tubs linked to her body. Pain medicine, liquid food, oxygen. Rose couldn’t breathe by herself anymore. A machine was doing it for her. Another one was showing her regular heartbeats, the blood oxygen saturation and the frequency of her breathing. The two machines were the producing the only noise in the room. It was quiet, too quiet. The absence of life was unbearable. The Doctor sat down on the edge of the bed and slowly stroked her face, tucking her hair between her ear. Tears were running down his cheeks. She was cold already. He knew it was because of the under oxygenation of her body and he also knew that was because her death was dangerously close. He pressed his lips against her forehead softly. His hearts were hurting so much right now. He would have given them to her if he had been able to, but he couldn’t give her new lungs. His regenerative energy wouldn’t be enough to cure her this time. What she needed was a new body. If only she could regenerate. After all she had had the Vortex in her once. She also had had his energy in her once. It could have been possible, but it wasn’t. The disease had eroded the energy as well as her immune system so suddenly. It didn’t give her any chance of survival, and that hurt.   “You overheard?” asked the teary voice of Jackie behind him. “Yeah.” He replied, his voice not sounding better.   He didn’t want to believe that it was over, that it was the last time he would see Rose. He remembered her being so full of life when she was travelling with him, when he was secretly watching over her during the last year. Of course he had promised Jackie to disappear from their lives and he had been thankful for Jackie giving him news but he hadn’t been able to stay away. He had to see it with his own eyes. It was only a matter of minutes and Rose had never seen him, and it had always warmed his hearts to see her so full of life. She was living a normal life day after day, and she was happy. That was all that mattered. Even though she had no memories of him at all, she was happy. None of them had ever thought that this would happen, that the disease would come back and kill her in a few hours. That was so unfair.   “Thank you. For coming.” “I couldn’t let her go without saying goodbye.”   But he hated endings. Oh, he really hated endings and that was why he always ripped the last page of a book when he was reading one. That was why it hurt so much to be here, ready to say goodbye to the love of his life without her even knowing about his feelings. He took her hand and kissed it softly. He looked at Jackie. She needed to say goodbye too. He stood up and withdrew, looking by the window. A rainy day. The sky was matching his emotions. He put his hands in his pockets. He overheard Jackie’s words and the amount of his tears doubled.   “You can let go now, Rose. It’s okay sweetheart.” Said Jackie, stroking her head softly. “You won’t have to fight anymore. You’ll be free.”   That was the truth. When she would let go, when she would give up on life, she wouldn’t have to fight anymore. She would be free from the disease, from the pain, from everything. The Doctor leaned his forehead against the window and closed his eyes. It shouldn’t be happening. He had looked into Rose’s future. She shouldn’t have died that way. Her death wasn’t a fixed point. He could change it. A hint of hope pierced through the deep sadness clutching his hearts. He could go back in time and save her. He couldn’t leave now. He would stay until the end to never forget why he was doing so.   “Doctor?” “Hm?” He said turning back to face Jackie. “There’s something you can do.” “To save her?” “No.” Jackie shook her head. “I want her to go peacefully.” “You want me to…” He asked incredulous. “Give her her memories back, Doctor. Make her remember everything you’ve lived together.”   The Doctor nodded. This was something he could do. He walked to the bed and sat down next to Jackie. He placed his hands on Rose’s temples and closed his eyes. He created a bound between their two minds and walked into hers. He slowly unlocked the memories he had locked one year ago. He watched the memories as they flooded into her mind again, as the happiness invaded her thoughts, and slowly pulled out of her mind. He could have sworn he had seen a smile on her face. He quietly took Jackie in his arms. They were both holding Rose’s hand, and none of them let it go until it was over for real. The Doctor held Jackie tight against him while she was sobbing. He was crying too. He didn’t move for a long moment. He was unable to move anyway. They stayed in each other’s arms until the Doctor found the courage to stand up.   “Where are you going?” “Find a way to save her before it’s too late.” “But…” “I’ll find it!”   That’s when he left. He travelled far in the future, making stops to see where the science where concerning Rose’s disease. He knew someone had found the cure but he didn’t remember the year or the planet. That’s why it took him so much time to find it, but when he did find it, when he was sure Rose would be totally cured, that the disease wouldn’t come back if he gave her that cure, he went back in time, crossing his own timeline even though the TARDIS didn’t really like it. However, she wanted to save Rose as much as he wanted it and brought him back to Satellite 5 where he remembered going after learning that Rose was dying, and before he took the decision of giving his life for her.

– End –

“Could we… Could we change all of this?” the tenth heard his old self asking him. The tenth pushed away the memory and simply nodded. That was why he was there. Once again, he put his hand in the pocket of his trench coat. Bigger on the inside pocket of course. He pulled out a little bottle filled with a green fluid. The cure. A cure which would be created in a certain number of years. “That’s why I’m here. I spent a lot of time looking for a cure and I finally ended up finding one. This is from a far future but this is the only thing that would save her. And you. Give this to her and never, never leave her.” The ninth took the bottle he was given and put it in his own pocket, sealing it with the sonic so it wouldn’t fall until he was back to the Powell Estate to give it to Rose. The tenth erased the memories of their meeting from the ninth’s memory and just let him know that he had the cure in his pocket and that he had to go back to Rose. The tenth quickly disappeared while the ninth took his own TARDIS and flew back to the Jackie’s. He didn’t say anything to Jackie and just rushed to Rose’s side. He pulled the green fluid out of his pocket. He didn’t remember where he had gotten it but he knew that would save Rose. He made her drink it. The most difficult part now would be waiting. “Are you really gonna disappear from our lives?” asked Jackie behind him. “That’s what you want.” he simply replied, not taking his eyes off of Rose. “No. Of course, not. I said it because I was mad but you’re the best thing that ever happened to Rose. You can’t just leave her.” “…” “I don’t know who you are for real, but I know you do a lot of good to her and that’s all I could ever ask for.” Jackie kept on talking to him, on telling him how Rose was before she met him, how she was after their first meeting. She told him about the hope he had created in Rose’s life after that message she heard on the radio. Jackie had overheard some of their talks but never said a thing about how weird he sounded. She had just listened to Rose being happy and curious, getting interesting in something in life instead of just living as much as she could before the disease hit again and forced her back to the hospital. She wasn’t supposed to live so long and it was a miracle for her to have survived until now, but for a mother, it was never enough. As tough as he was, the Doctor couldn’t help but cry. He didn’t push Jackie away when she took him in her arms. That was more because she needed comfort than to comfort him. She had fought with Rose for so many years now and she was exhausted. That’s why he didn’t push her away. That’s why he comforted her. That’s why he stayed with her as long as she needed him around. The wait was unbearable and the Doctor thought that the cure wasn’t working at all, that he had been fooled by whoever had given it to him. He didn’t remember how he had gotten it but that didn’t matter. He just wanted it to work, but he had to be patient, really patient, and watched as the time went. Two weeks passed by that way. He lived like a freaking little human for two weeks and that was making him go mad. However, he couldn’t leave his Rose, his precious Rose, who didn’t wake up though her face wasn’t deathly pale anymore. Colours were coming back on her cheeks. But she wasn’t coming back to them. It took her some more days to finally open her eyes and a few more days to remember who was who and what had happened. She was happy that the Doctor was still there, that he had been waiting for her to feel better. He told her that she was healed for good, that the disease would never come back, that he had made sure of it. He also told her that he would never leave her because she was the most precious thing he had in life. Oh, she cried when he heard those words she had dreamt about for so long. It was relief and happiness, and she just couldn’t ask for more. The Doctor promised her that he would wait until she felt better and then, he would take her back into the stars and she thanked him with a smile he would die for every day…

Chronicles of a better man © | 2016 - 2018 | Tous droits réservés.

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In the next shot:

Oh, it was his fault without a doubt. Entirely his fault. His curiosity was to blame, and he was cursing himself for being so curious. That was a default that always led him head first into troubles. Now was another demonstration of this statement. He was quietly traveling through the Vortex wondering where to stop and reading a very fascinating book about a wolf named Bad Wolf just hours ago. The book was telling the whole story behind the legend – because the Bad Wolf had never existed, it was just legends based on hearsay from people who’d gotten lost in the forest and heard the cry of a wolf – and the testimonies of some people had been written down to feed the legends. One of them had caught the Doctor’s attention though – the others were just making him laugh – and had gotten him really curious to know if it was real or not.

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