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#i know that there have been like studies that are like oh it's different for weed in terms of physical addiction but like.
iamgonnagetyouback · 2 days
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Omg Ivy I love how well you write your marauders fics! You’re amazing! Specially your wolfstar x reader!!!
Could you write another one, please? Like, reader is Remus’s best friend but she hates Sirius (he’s dating Remus), or she thinks she does, but in reality she’s jealous of him because he gets to touch Remus like she has always wanted to. And consequently Sirius thinks he hates her too, but in fact he’s just trying to hide the fact he’s on his feet for her as well. One day Remus is done with both of them and lock the three of them in a room and spill to them he is in love with both of them and can’t have them fighting anymore. And after that reader and Sirius end up confessing their own feelings for each other and they start dating after many kisses.
thank you so much for the request!! and the idea was so fun to write 💕 ps. i suck at summaries
𝟷.𝟿𝚔 || 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓'𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋
♡ ︎ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You thought you were jealous of Sirius for stealing away Remus's attention but maybe you just needed to admit your feelings for both of them.
♡ ︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: None
♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: Wolfstar x Reader
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The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with life, as usual, but it felt distant to you. You sat slumped on the couch, tapping your quill impatiently against your parchment, though not a single word had been written in the last half hour.
It was him. It was always him. Sirius Black, with his annoying smirk, his too-cool-for-school attitude, and the way he seemed to monopolize every moment of Remus’ time.
It was infuriating.
Remus was your best friend. You’d been through thick and thin together, shared secrets, laughed until your stomachs hurt. Yet now, whenever you were around him, Sirius was there too. The two of them always seemed to be in some intimate conversation or worse—touching. A hand on Remus’ shoulder, Sirius’ fingers threading casually through Remus’ hair. It was like a constant, silent reminder that you were on the outside looking in.
And you hated it. Hated how much Sirius made you feel like you didn’t belong, like you weren’t enough for Remus anymore.
“You know, glaring holes into parchment isn’t going to make it write itself.”
That voice. Smooth, low, with that aggravating lilt of arrogance. You didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.
“Go away, Black,” you muttered, still staring at the blank parchment.
Sirius flopped onto the couch opposite you, arms spread wide like he owned the place. “Come on, I’m just trying to be helpful. Your brooding is becoming a bit of a spectacle.”
You finally looked up, your eyes narrowing. “Oh, I’m sure my brooding is nothing compared to the grand theatrics you put on every time you walk into a room.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the verbal sparring. “Theatrics? Or natural charm? It’s a fine line.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Actually,” he leaned in with a smirk, “it’s Remus that helps me sleep at night.”
Your stomach twisted at that, the reminder of their relationship hitting harder than it should have. You hated that it hurt, hated that Sirius knew exactly how to push your buttons. But instead of backing down, you crossed your arms and fired back, “You mean, he puts up with you at night. Big difference.”
Sirius chuckled darkly, eyes glinting with something unreadable. “You’re hilarious, you know that?”
“And you’re unbearable.”
“Can’t handle a bit of competition?”
Your heart skipped a beat, but you quickly masked it with a sneer. “You? Competition? Please.”
“Oh, but I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Sirius said, his voice lowering. “You don’t hate me, do you? You just can’t stand the fact that I’m the one who gets to touch him.”
You didn't want to admit it, but maybe he was right.
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The common room is quiet once again, save for the soft crackling of the fireplace and the occasional creak of floorboards as you shift uncomfortably in your chair. You're supposed to be studying, but your mind drifts far from textbooks and quills. Instead, it wanders to Remus who has somehow slipped from your grasp and into the arms of Sirius Black. Sirius bloody Black.
A sigh escapes your lips, frustration bubbling up inside you. It makes no sense. You’ve never particularly liked him. Sure, he’s handsome in an annoying, arrogant sort of way. With his dark hair that constantly falls into his grey eyes, he has the ability to make anyone—especially you—seethe with irritation. But it’s not just that. It's the way he has Remus.
You throw down your quill in irritation, glaring at your dorm room door. Any second now, Remus will walk in with Sirius at his side, and they'll sit together, talking quietly while you pretend not to care. It’s always like this. The three of you, but somehow, you always feel like the third wheel.
Your dorm door opens, and as if summoned by your thoughts, in walk Remus and Sirius. They're laughing at something you can't hear, and a pang shoots through your chest. You try to swallow it down, but the resentment lingers.
"Hey," Remus greets, his warm smile easing the tension in your shoulders just a little. He's the only person who can do that. The only person who has always been there for you.
"Hi," you manage, avoiding Sirius' gaze.
Sirius flops down onto the bed beside Remus, far too close for your liking. His arm brushes against Remus' casually, and you clench your jaw. He glances at you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, his lips twitch, as if he’s about to say something, but he remains silent.
It's like this every time. You can't stand being around them when they're together, but you can't stand the idea of not being around Remus either. The tension builds with each passing day, and it's driving you insane. Especially because you don’t know what to make of the flutter in your stomach whenever Sirius speaks to you.
"Are you alright?" Remus asks, his eyes filled with concern. Of course, he notices.
"I'm fine," you say, a little too quickly. "Just tired."
Sirius snorts from his side of the bed, and you shoot him a glare.
"What's your problem?" you snap.
"My problem?" He raises an eyebrow, giving you that signature Sirius Black smirk that makes you want to smack him and… kiss him? You mentally slap yourself. No. No way.
"You’re being a brat," he says casually, leaning back with his arms behind his head, as though he owns the room.
"You're insufferable, Black," you spit out. Remus looks between the two of you, his brow furrowing. He’s always been the mediator between you and Sirius. But lately, even he seems to be getting tired of the constant bickering.
"Okay, enough," Remus says, his voice tight with frustration. He stands, looking between you and Sirius, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I’m done."
You blink, startled by the sudden change in his demeanor. "What are you talking about?"
"You two," Remus snaps, his eyes flashing. "This—this constant fighting. I can't take it anymore."
Your heart skips a beat as Sirius sits up, his smug expression fading.
"Moony—" Sirius starts, but Remus cuts him off.
"No. Both of you listen." He runs a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. "I can't… I can't do this anymore. I'm in love with both of you, and it’s tearing me apart to see you two at each other's throats all the time."
The silence that follows is suffocating. Your heart is racing, pounding in your chest so loudly you're sure everyone in the room can hear it. Did you hear him right?
"What?" you whisper, barely able to get the word out.
Remus looks at you, his expression softer now but still pained. "I love you both. And I can't stand the thought of choosing between you."
Sirius looks just as shocked as you feel. He opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. For once, Sirius Black is speechless.
You stand abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor. "You—you love us both?" Your mind is spinning. This can’t be real.
Remus nods, his eyes locked on yours. "Yes. But you both… you hate each other."
Your chest tightens at the way he says that. Does he think you truly hate Sirius? Do you even hate him? You glance at Sirius, and for the first time, you catch a flicker of something in his eyes—something vulnerable.
"I don’t…" you start, your voice wavering. "I don’t hate him."
The room feels like it’s closing in on you. All those moments of frustration and anger, all the times you’ve snapped at Sirius, all the snide remarks—it wasn’t hate. It was jealousy. Jealousy because he got to be with Remus in a way you never could. And maybe, just maybe, because you’ve been denying your own feelings for Sirius all along.
Sirius stands, his grey eyes locked on yours. "I don't hate you either," he admits quietly, his usual cockiness gone. "I… I’ve been lying to myself. Trying to pretend I didn’t… want you."
The air between the three of you shifts, the weight of the confession hanging heavy in the room. You feel dizzy, your heart racing as you try to process what’s happening.
"Remus," you breathe, looking back at him. "I… I love you too. I always have."
His face softens, and he steps closer to you, but before he can say anything, Sirius speaks again.
"And I… I love you too," Sirius says, his voice low but filled with emotion. "But it's not just Remus. It's you. I’ve been a coward about it. I didn’t want to admit it."
You stare at him, your breath catching in your throat. His words hang in the air, and suddenly, everything falls into place. The fighting, the tension, the way your heart flips every time Sirius speaks or even looks at you. You weren’t fighting because you hated him. You were fighting because you were terrified of what you felt for him.
"I…" You struggle to find the words, your emotions a tangled mess inside you. But before you can say anything, Sirius takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch your cheek. His touch is soft, careful, as though he’s afraid you’ll pull away.
But you don’t. Instead, you lean into his touch, your breath hitching in your throat as you look up at him. His eyes are softer now, the usual arrogance replaced with something raw, something real.
And then, before you can think, before you can process what’s happening, Sirius leans in and kisses you. It’s tentative at first, a question in the way his lips brush against yours. But when you don’t pull away, when you kiss him back, he deepens the kiss, his hand slipping to the back of your neck as he pulls you closer.
Your heart is racing, your mind spinning. This is Sirius. Sirius Black. The boy you thought you hated. The boy you thought you could never stand. But now, all you can think about is how right this feels.
When you finally pull away, both of you are breathless, and you look over to Remus, who’s watching with a small smile on his face. He steps forward, pulling you into his arms, and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
"I love you both," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "And I don’t want to lose either of you."
Tears prick your eyes as you lean into him, your heart swelling with love for both of them. You’re not sure how this will work, or what it means for the future, but in this moment, with Remus’ arms around you and Sirius by your side, it feels right.
You pull back slightly, glancing between the two of them, a soft laugh escaping your lips. "Well," you say, wiping at your eyes. "I guess we’re going to have to figure this out."
Sirius grins, that familiar mischievous glint returning to his eyes. "I think we’ll manage," he says, leaning in to kiss you again, this time slower, more confident.
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forcedagere · 2 days
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I personally really like the idea of Bill x Reader x Ford. This one kinda ties into my previous post, but it’s not required reading. I suppose this would be an AU where Ford accepted Bill’s offer during Weirdmaggedon, or something else went wrong resulting in Bill staying in power :)
Contents: forced age regression, yandere, implied mental manipulation
Whereas Bill is far from the best caretaker (though he tries, in his own way), Ford takes care to create a semblance of structure in your life. He doesn’t have tons of practical experience with children or little ones such as you, but he makes up for it with dedication. He takes to caring for you as if it were a newly discovered, fascinating field of study. In other words… He reads many, many books, and tries all kinds of things to figure out what you like best.
Ford is not entirely fond of the kind of dynamic you have with Bill. It's not because he doesn't want to be referred to with parental terms, that's simply a matter of preference, but that he insists on you being friends above anything else. Considering the dynamics at play here, Ford cannot help but view it…
"As simply pedagogically irresponsible, Bill." The triangle in question rolls his eye. "Oh, boohoo! Fancy McFancypants over here knows what’s up!” Bill glances at you from the corner of his eye. Seeing you crack a smile while you’re sketching away with your crayons, he’s encouraged. “You read one book on how to raise a kid, and now you wanna tell me what to do? Get lost. Kid, c'mon, prove him wrong-- I'm your favourite, right?" You look up from your latest piece of art. You are drawing all three of you, in fact. You're usually deaf to their arguments, it's such a constant that you've grown used to the noise and stopped viewing it as a threat. (Your daddy calls it 'bickering'; Billy, when daddy isn't listening, calls it 'flirting'. That makes you giggle.) But you don't like getting involved in it yourself! So you firmly shake your head, and drop the pacifier attached to your necklace to speak. "No favourites… I love you both," you say with the confidence only someone as little as you could have. Billy's eyelid flutters, and your daddy smiles.
To put it simply, Bill is the ‘fun, rule-breaking parent’ and Ford is… A little less that. One should not take Bill Cipher as the benchmark of taking good care of a human, though.
Ford will make sure your meals are more varied than the endless stream of candy that Bill feeds you, and get you tucked in for sleep at regular times, too. Compared to Bill, who enjoys playing games with you and ‘roughhousing’, Ford prefers calmer activities. He’s definitely up for the occasional board game, but, most of the time, he’ll read to you, make drawings upon requests (or give you lessons!), or toy around with science experiments safe for someone who gets the urge to put anything that looks interesting inside their mouth.
He might’ve taken you for an adventure or two outside, but… The world hasn’t been the same since Bill got his hands all over it. He may be technically immortal now. You decidedly are not, as far as he knows. Either way, he doubts that Bill would let you out of this room to begin with. He doesn’t have to ask to be able to know that. If there is any reason he would keep someone locked up the way he does with you, it must be because you have some form of special connection to him. Ford does not believe he would risk that.
Really, Ford isn’t stupid or blind. It’s not that he’s going along with all of this because he is ignorant of Bill’s manipulation of your mental state. Bill can call it a ‘nudge in the right direction’ all he wants. He’s keeping you regressed. But everything has changed. He has changed, and Ford doesn’t know if he made the right decision. He fears he hasn’t. (Somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, a Stanford must live who made a difference decision. Ford hopes he’s happy.)
Spending time in this little contained room, with something dependent on him and eager to be looked after by him, who doesn’t know better and never will… It’s not good, it’s the very definition of selfish, but it’s comforting to him. Grounding, in a sense. With an eternity of time left ahead of him and the foundations of his previous life all but crumbled, he has something steady to return to. It doesn’t matter how much he rationalizes it. It’s twisted and fucked up, plain and simple.
…He supposes he can understand why Bill finds him so amusing, even now.
A little whimper snaps him from the spiral of his thoughts. Your bottle is empty. He should get youa refill, then pull you back on his lap.
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myokk · 2 days
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before it felt like a sin, ch. 4
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ch.1, ch.2, ch.3
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 3000
summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.
And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.
She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.
a/n: or: Sebastian is a gremlin bahahahahahahahahahhaahahaha
I want to reiterate that this fic is REALLY CANON DIVERGENT!!!!! I will NOT be following the game’s plot at all really with this (it really starts to diverge around chapter 6/7 maybe I don’t remember), and I don’t see Eloise as the game’s MC either.
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"SEBASTIAN SALLOW!"
Eloise jumped at the ferocity of the voice, and looked up as the boy in question was bounding down the steps of the Entrance Hall. He came to a quick halt as he reached her.
"Eloise! Fantastic to see you. Come along then, we must be off on our excursion to Hogsmeade."
He glanced over his shoulder as he grabbed her by the hand, using his other to push open the door. Eloise was so flabbergasted by his behavior that she completely forgot the mortification she had felt right before his arrival.
When Professor Weasley had put her on the spot and asked her who she would like to accompany her to Hogsmeade, of course she had said Sebastian. Natsai was nice, of course, but she had spent more time with Sebastian and felt comfortable around him. What she hadn't known however, was that Professor Weasley was going to leave that very moment to find Sebastian and that he was going to be pulled away from whatever he was doing to escort the new girl to Hogsmeade. She had been waiting in the Entrance Hall, wondering if it would be possible to vanish in mid-air from embarrassment alone when Sebastian made his arrival.
"It's nice to see you too, Sebastian," Eloise said as she was dragged across the grounds. "But...I was preparing my apology for you right before you arrived...I-I didn't know that it was going to be so..."
"Nonsense!" he interrupted, looking behind them again. His face was flushed and his hair particularly unruly. Apparently not liking what he saw, he picked up the pace considerably as a look of alarm spread across his face.
"SEBASTIAN SALLOW!" Sebastian's face paled as his name was called out again, and he broke into a run, bringing Eloise with him.
"Come on! I can't let her catch me." Eloise chanced a glance back and saw a stern looking woman walking briskly towards them.
"But Sebastian, it's just an old lady," she protested. Her shoes weren't fit for running and she was already feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Why can't we slow down?"
"Hah, just an old lady," he scoffed. "That, my friend, is Madam Scribner, and the reason why I am currently running. She is not one to be taken lightly."
"Sebastian," Eloise panted. She really needed to find a way to get in shape; dancing waltzes had been her main form of exercise for the last few years and it hadn't prepared her to be sprinting away from Hogwarts like this. They were nearing a bend in the road, and she pulled on his hand to slow him down. "Please explain."
"Oh, very well. I was just in the library, humbly trying to study, when all of a sudden the librarian decided she didn't like the look of whatever it was I was doing. As she was walking over to no doubt give me detention, I was saved by Professor Weasley and I beat a hasty retreat. Alas," he added, sighing dramatically. "It seems I wasn't quick enough because she managed to follow me."
Eloise giggled. They had slowed to a halt and were standing in the middle of the path.
"Well, it certainly seems we've lost her now."
"I don't think she can spend too much time away from the library or she loses some of her life force," confided Sebastian. He looked down and noticed he was still holding her hand, which he promptly dropped. Both of them colored slightly and he cleared his throat loudly. "Anyways, we can keep going. I apologize if my escort services have been unsatisfactory up until now."
This more leisurely pace - Madam Scribner had apparently given up on her chase - allowed Eloise to now take in their surroundings and they took her breath away. To their left was a huge, dense forest, but it was their right that captured her attention. Hogwarts was beautiful. The castle seemed to grow out of the rocky outcropping it was built on, perfectly blending in with its surroundings. The Black Lake sparkled under the late summer sunlight. Birds were singing in the background, and small groups of students occasionally passed them.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
Eloise glanced at Sebastian, who was watching her. She nodded and turned her gaze back to Hogwarts. This was what she had always dreamed of. "I can't believe I'm actually here."
Sebastian just smiled in response.
"So," Eloise said after a while. "Researching forbidden topics in the library?"
"Oh yes," Sebastian replied, nodding. "It's one of the only worthwhile things you can actually learn at this school, and for some reason all of the best information is hidden away in the restricted section. Why even have the books at all if nobody's allowed to actually look at them?"
"You know? I completely agree with you," Eloise said, thinking back on her own childhood. Her family had an extensive library built up for generations, and her parents certainly never paid attention to what she was reading. Although most of what she had read had been age appropriate, she had gotten her hands on some books on dark magic.
They had been infinitely more interesting to her. She didn't know if it was the subject matter itself, or the thrill of reading something she knew was forbidden. "Some of the most interesting books I've read have been about topics that most would consider taboo."
"Maybe you could accompany me sometime then," Sebastian said, looking sideways at Eloise with a smile. "I haven't found many like-minded individuals during my time at Hogwarts."
"Maybe I will. Oh!"
A flurry of black creatures broke out of the treetops of the forest to their left.
"Thestrals," Sebastian said. "You can see them too? Most people would just see the trees moving and assume it was a sudden gust of wind."
"It's a fairly recent development." Eloise still felt guilty for how she didn't feel about Mr. Osric's death, and didn't quite know how to respond. "You know how I was attacked by a dragon yesterday? The man who accompanied us was ripped to shreds right in front of me. The thestrals pulling our carriage materialized right in front of my eyes and seeing them is actually how I realized I had just seen a man die."
Sebastian was silent for a while, digesting what she had said. Eloise avoided looking at him, embarrassed by her newfound penchant for oversharing. Stupid, she thought to herself. Why would a boy you just met want to hear about the gory death you witnessed? Who cares if you two were just casually talking about topics that most wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole? I bet he's already regretting coming with me instead of accepting punishment from -
"That's quite brilliant, actually," Sebastian said, interrupting her thoughts. He immediately blushed and hastily added, "well, not the fact that it happened to you. But, seeing a real dragon up close must have been quite exciting."
"It was," Eloise replied. "I'd only read about them before. In the moment, I wasn't thinking about my life being in danger or about seeing Mr. Osric die. My brain focused on the weirdest things..."
"By the way," Sebastian added. "How do you know about thestrals? Ominis told me you were raised in a muggle orphanage.
At that, Eloise laughed. She didn't know why, but she was quite pleased that Ominis hadn't spilled her secrets, even to his best friend. "Not all of the rumors about me are actually true, you know. And Ominis should know better! We talked last night in the common room, after everyone had gone to bed. He might be the only one who actually knows almost everything."
"That ass! I should have known something was up the way his mouth kept twitching as he spoke," Sebastian said. "But since I saw you two talking so much this morning in the common room, I figured that he probably knew more than the rest of us."
Eloise was mortified. "Did everyone see us talking?"
"Well, you are quite the hot topic among the student body today. Nobody knows anything about the mysterious new girl, but plenty would love to get to know you better. Haven't you been hearing everyone whispering today at all?"
"Honestly, no," Eloise admitted. She didn't really want to know that everyone was talking about her, although she probably could have reached the conclusion had she considered the possibility. She held out her hand and lifted her fingers as she listed things off. "First, I arrived with a bang last night after almost being murdered by a rogue, homicidal dragon. I'm a brand-new fifth-year who has never held a wand before in her life, and I need to make sure I don't fall behind. I'm also focused on besting certain cocky boys in Defense Against the Dark Arts." At that, she shot a sly glance at Sebastian and was pleased to see him smile at that. "So no, I haven't yet found the time to listen to the rumors flying around about me."
"Mark my words, we'll have a rematch soon," Sebastian assured her. "God, I can't believe I was beaten by a girl who never used magic before." This time it was his turn to give her a sly smile before adding, "it must be because I was blinded by her beauty."
They were fast approaching a small covered bridge that led to a lovely little village. Eloise had stopped to gape at Sebastian, who took the opportunity to cross the bridge before her, turning around and raising his arms with a flourish as he walked backwards. "Welcome, fair lady, to Hogsmeade. The only fully magical village in all of Britain! Feast your eyes on the quaint storefronts, the colorful locals, the - ow! What was that for?"
Eloise had caught up to Sebastian and hit him on the arm lightly. "Sebastian, stop," she hissed. "People are looking at us. I've had enough of it for one day."
"Oh, fine," he replied. "I was just trying to give you the full tour like Professor Weasley asked, but since I didn't actually stay to hear what she was telling me, I may have missed a part or two. I shudder to imagine the sort of torture she might come up with if she hears I didn't give this my all."
Eloise was laughing now. "I may have just met her, but I have a hard time imagining that she could come up with anything awful. Besides, I doubt she told you to tell me to break all of the rules, or that you should act like a fool."
"Hey, not fair," said Sebastian, sauntering up the road. "I might be many things, but never a fool. So, what sort of things do you need to pick up today?"
Eloise looked at the list that Professor Weasley had given her. "Well...I lost everything yesterday. So, I need to get a lot. Potion ingredients, textbooks, some more clothes...oh! And I'll finally be getting a wand of my own."
"How about we meet back up in a few hours? I think that should give you enough time to explore Hogsmeade and pick up everything you need. I actually need to run a few errands myself. After, we can inaugurate your first trip to Hogsmeade with a stop at The Three Broomsticks! If you want, I can show you where all the shops are."
"No, it's fine," said Eloise. "I don't want to impose on you too much, and I think I'll enjoy the opportunity to explore without dragging you along with me."
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Eloise found herself enjoying her time exploring the village more than she had expected to. Although she had grown up surrounded by magic, there was something being profoundly different about being in an all-magical settlement like this. And the people she ran across seemed genuinely happy.
In her family, there had always been an air of disdain for anyone they considered below themselves, and they hadn't mingled much with others outside of social events. Even the attitude among the muggles she had studied with in the other school had been more elite, those girls having similar qualms about socializing with others. When they had ventured into the closest village on occasion during their daily walks, the girls had always made a point to stick close together and avoid the villagers.
Because of all of this, Eloise found it quite refreshing to be among people without sticking out so much, allowing herself to take her time and explore.
She went to Ollivander's last. Being close to the hour she figured she was to meet up with Sebastian again, it was perfect timing.
Walking through the door, it was immediately apparent that the place was special. The magic was palpable in the air, similar to the feel of Hogsmeade itself but amplified. It almost felt as if Eloise were to reach out, she would be able to cup it in her hands. A shimmery feeling just outside of her perception.
A small bell in the doorway rang as she entered. She looked around the tiny store in awe, realizing that the in the tiny boxes filling the floor-to-ceiling shelves were each filled with a wand. One of the biggest disappointments she had had to overcome as a younger girl had been coming to terms with the fact that she would never be able to own one herself. After Leo had come home from Diagon Alley that first time, brandishing his own wand, Eloise had been filled with a jealousy she hadn't known she was capable of. The jealousy had morphed and turned into something much darker...a simmering resentment...when it had finally been confirmed that she was a squib.
"Oh! I wasn't expecting customers." A small man had come out from behind the counter, blinking at her from behind his spectacles. He gave her a curious look, taking in her appearance. "Normally I have the one rush before the school term starts, but it's always younger children than you. May I help you?"
Eloise smiled at him, too excited about the prospect of finally getting her wand to be annoyed at his blunt tone. "I'm actually just starting Hogwarts now, I don't have my -"
"You must be the new fifth-year I was told about." At this, he beamed at her as he shook her hand with gusto. "It's such a pleasure to meet you. My name is Gerbold Ollivander. I can only count on one hand the number of times I have had the pleasure of matching a wand to an older customer. It's so much more challenging; a young child isn't as set in their ways and is quite malleable, whereas an older student..."
He trailed off as he began to sort through the different boxes surrounding them. Mumbling more to himself than anything, "I need to stop trying to guess what a person is like, but...I wonder..."
"Please put out your arms, miss..."
Eloise obliged, and a tape measure came out from behind the counter to hover around her and take her measurements. It was telling the figures to Mr. Ollivander as he continued to peruse the shelves.
If the air wasn't humming with magic, Eloise rather thought that she might feel claustrophobic in such a cramped, tiny shop. Instead, she felt euphoric. Mr. Ollivander hadn't given her any time to respond and continued to talk to himself as he looked through the different wands. Although he had said that finding the correct wand for her could prove to be challenging, he appeared excited at the prospect rather than apprehensive.
Mr. Ollivander handed Eloise the first wand.
"Pear, nine and three-quarters inches," he said. "Unicorn hair, pliant. Try it out."
As soon as the wand was in her hand, it felt wrong. Ollivander immediately snatched the wand out of her hand and gave her another.
"Try this one. Cherry, phoenix feather, 9 inches."
After many failed attempts, Eloise was beginning to despair. If they couldn't find the wand for her, would she be sent back to the muggle world? Ollivander, on the other hand, was somehow getting even more excited with every wrong wand.
Finally, Ollivander hesitated before giving her the last wand. It was nondescript, very different from some of the flashier looking wands she had tried before. After so many attempts gone wrong - a notable one had filled the shop with a putrid green smoke that took a while to dissipate - she wasn't about to get her hopes up when she saw the slender wand.
When she grabbed the wand from Ollivander, however, she just knew. Feeling the thrill of energy that went through her body at the lightest touch, and seeing the beautiful silvery sparks that sprayed out of her wand when she sliced it through the air were the final confirmation she needed to know that she did actually belong in this world.
She smiled triumphantly, looking at the dark brown wand with newfound joy.
"Very curious indeed," said Mr. Ollivander, regarding Eloise with thoughtful eyes. "Walnut, ten and three-quarters inches, extremely unyielding. A bond with this wand is a bond for life. It has a dragon heartstring core, and I remember the very dragon it came from. Extremely difficult to obtain...I almost died in the process. I've always known that the person who is chosen by this wand will be a very powerful witch or wizard. For good or bad, however...that is the question."
Eloise felt rather unsettled by Mr. Ollivander's sudden change in attitude, but the feeling soon passed. The excitement of finally having a wand of her own and spending the last few hours in Hogsmeade wasn't a feeling she could get rid of that easily. She turned her wand over in her hands, starting to admire its smooth polished surface and lack of design. It was thrumming with power and she was itching to use it.
She smiled at Mr. Ollivander.
"I'll take it."
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writtenjewels · 3 days
Text
Maternity Ward part 4
Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Salim found his thoughts drifting to the Kolcheks. Specifically his new friend Jason. He liked being friendly with the couples he worked with, but this felt different somehow. He didn't think he ever connected with someone so quickly. It made him worry a little that he was toeing the line of professionalism. He certainly never spent so much time before thinking of jokes to tell other expectant fathers. But surely putting Jason at ease wasn't a bad thing, and truthfully, it'd been fun to exchange in teasing banter with the man.
The next time he entered the room, he found Penny in the middle of a contraction. Jason was coaching her through it, holding her hand and counting out her breaths for her. Salim watched without interruption, curious to see how Jason handled this. By now the panic stage had likely passed, but it was still impressive how Jason calmly but firmly talked Penny through it.
“You did great,” Jason told her when it was over. “You only said 'fuck' fifty times.”
“I'm savin' those for when I gotta start pushing,” Penny retorted with a laugh.
“Can't wait.”
“May I come in?” Salim asked. Penny looked up and Jason turned. Jason's face lit up in a smile, his eyes brightening. Salim smiled back before turning his attention on Penny. “Let me check on how you're doing.”
“Glad to see ya, Doc,” she smiled. “Jason and I have a bet goin' and we need a neutral party.”
“Oh?” Almost subconsciously, his eyes flicked over to Jason.
“We're bettin' what song's gonna play on the radio,” he explained. “I'm bettin' somethin' from the 80's on and Penny's got from the 50's to the 70's.”
“What if it's classical?” Salim asked teasingly.
“Then we tuned into the wrong fuckin' station.” Jason said it so matter-of-factly that Salim laughed. Jason smirked back at him and turned on the radio. Salim recognized the song after a few notes. “Hah.” Jason pumped a fist. “Fuckin' 1980's!”
“It's the 70's!” Penny argued. “Help me out here, Doc.” He felt both of them staring at him, waiting on a verdict.
“1979. Still technically the 70's. You were close.” He directed this to Jason. Instead of looking upset, Jason just gaped at him.
“How the fuck do you know that?”
“I like music.” Silence fell in the room with only the music to fill it. “I should get back to my rounds,” Salim announced. “I'll check on you later.”
“Hang on,” Penny protested. “Take Jason outta here so he can get me more snacks.” Jason shot her a look Salim didn't understand. With a grunt, Jason stepped out into the hall with Salim.
“You went through all those snacks already?” Salim asked him.
“She ate most of 'em.” The two started down the hall. “So,” Jason spoke up. “You like music?”
“Music kept me sane during medical school. I listened to it while I studied. I still listen to it whenever I need to relax, or feel energized, depending on the genre.”
“Me and Penn listened to a lot of music growin' up,” Jason remarked. “It's why I thought up the bet; thought it would help distract her.”
“It was a good idea.” Salim eyed him curiously. “You grew up together?”
Jason's lips quirked up in amusement. “Since the day I was born.”
Salim couldn't find the words. It was obvious now that he thought about it. The way they talked to each other, the similarities in the face and hair, why Jason always shied away whenever Salim examined Penny. Brother and sister. Salim felt like an idiot for not seeing it. They continued on to get snacks, his mind working through the information.
She's just his sister. The thought made him happy, but also strangely nervous.
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blindvogel · 1 day
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It's still so long until Halloween, and I am just rotating them in my head like in a microwave. Continuing the short exploration of Emmrich and my Rook with a slightly longer one. They're being adults about things. Mostly.
~~~
Kamari isn’t actively avoiding the conversation with Emmrich but ever since that evening and the kiss there just doesn’t seem to be time or a private moment. But it still changes things between them, and why wouldn’t it. She kissed him and he quite readily kissed her back and they both know that, or at the very least she does.
And it’s not that Emmrich hovers over her but she notices him standing closer, offering assistance even more readily than usual. When their eyes meet, they linger. A different kind of dance than she is used to. If the others make note, at least for the time being they do not mention it.  
She ascribes her noticing to this newfound awareness and proximity. That when they return from a trip to the Anderfels with Davrin, covered in scrapes and bruises from a tangle with some demons and darkspawn, her eyes catch the trickle of blood seeping from below his many bangles. 
“Emmrich, your arm,” she says with some alarm, instinctively reaching for him. She catches his elbow, pulling his left arm up to better see the wound.
“Oh it is nothing, just a scratch. You needn't worry.” His voice has the usual untroubled tone but Kamari isn’t buying it, or letting him downplay the issue for that matter. Where darkspawn are involved she isn’t taking any risks. 
“This needs cleaning and a poultice. I know you have everything in your study. Come.” 
She keeps hold of his elbow and pulls him along, with no resistance to speak of, not even another attempt to make light of the situation. 
“Take off the coat, if you can,” she instructs as she finally releases her hold on him when they reach the study, and she goes hunting for a basin of warm water, salves and bandages. Thankfully Emmrich is a very tidy man, everything is neatly labeled and exactly at the place it should be, so it takes her almost no time. When she returns and sets down everything she needs on the table, he has managed to divest himself of the coat - even if she can tell it hasn't been easy. 
Kamari sighs softly and takes hold of his elbow again, rolling the sleeve of his shirt further up with quick practiced movements and then carefully but firmly pushes him to sit down in the chair. Now she doesn’t have to crane her neck to see his face, and notices that he is looking at her intently with that little smile that makes her stomach do somersaults. 
“No need to make such a grim face, Kamari. It really is nothing.” His voice is soothing and she would like to let it but instead just shakes her head and looks down at his arm and the work ahead. 
Emmrich doesn’t object when she lifts his hand towards her and then carefully sets to work to remove the copious amounts of jewelry currently obstructing her view. 
After a moment she finds him to be uncharacteristically quiet.
“I don’t want you to hide it from me when you are hurt,” she says softly into the silence between them as she pulls a bangle off as carefully as she can, then another one. She sees his long fingers twitch to ball his hand into a fist, then forcibly relax. Despite what he said the wound does hurt him. 
“Only if you give me your word that you do the same.” 
That catches her off guard and Kamari looks up, confused. Emmrich is still looking at her intently, as if he is trying to solve a particularly complicated puzzle. 
“I didn’t-”
“When you left rather abruptly a few nights ago,” he interrupts her, “after, uhm, our kiss. I thought that- well.” She continues to stare at him as color rises in his cheeks. It’s so rare to see him flustered. Then she looks back down, at his hand she is currently holding and the bracelets she still needs to remove, hurting him in the process. She can’t-
“Let me finish getting these all off and then we can talk, alright? I don’t want to do this while I am hurting you.”
“You’re not-” “Emmrich, please!” It comes out a little more pleading than she wants to and his hand turns, capturing hers. Kamari continues to look down, lets herself focus on the way his fingers wrap around her hand, how gentle they are, how steady.
“Of course. Forgive me.” His voice is just as gentle and patient. Kamari nods, still not meeting his eyes.
The next few moments she does her best to work quickly to pull the remaining bangles off, work as carefully as she can. She sees his fingers twitch but otherwise he doesn’t make a sound. Only when she puts the last one down does she notice him slump a little into the chair. 
Now she also gets a good look at the wound. It’s jagged and ugly but not too deep, more painful than dangerous. A breath escapes her that she didn’t notice she was holding. 
“I’m almost finished. Almost done,” she reassures him and lightly squeezes his hand before looking up. Emmrich looks a little tired now, but he meets her gaze steadily and with a little smile. Kamari fights the urge to lean in and kiss him for his patience, instead she returns his smile with one of her own.
“Right,” she says then and moves on to gently clean the wound and his arm. As she works, she talks. Since she promised.
“That night when I left, you didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t hurt me. I just… I thought for a moment that you would try to apologize and say it was a mistake. You made that face. And I panicked a little, I guess. Only the next day did I realize that that wasn’t it, that it probably was just about being spooked by Manfred since well, since you didn’t say anything else and I know you definitely would have if you truly were sorry. So I just…” She’s rambling, definitely, but it feels good to say these things out loud and get them off her chest and since Emmrich doesn’t interrupt her, she gets through her speech and through bandaging up his arm before he even gets a word in. 
Except he doesn’t have to say anything to stop her rambling. He simply takes her hand and pulls it to his face, pressing his lips to her knuckles, and she feels breathless. 
“I am sorry for how that night ended. I am quite out of practice, to be honest,” he says with a sheepish smile and Kamari finds herself drifting closer. “Please, I would like to make it up to you.”
“You don’t-”, she starts but then interrupts herself when he presses another kiss to the inside of her wrist and her whole body suddenly feels electric. His lips linger and she knows he must feel her pulse quicken beneath her skin. 
And when he then looks up at her with such unguarded affection there is no need for another word. She simply leans in and kisses him again.
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ewyuzu · 1 day
Text
a fake relationship
nanami kento x reader
a/n: interested to read more? click here!
the school bell rings, echoing through the hallways as students spill out of classrooms, chatting, laughing, and groaning over the latest assignments. you're in no particular rush, meandering through the crowded corridor on your way to your locker. most of your friends have already left, probably heading to the café nearby or the library. but you? you have a different kind of problem to face—one that's been plaguing you all semester: math.
you open your locker with a sigh, tossing in a textbook and pulling out your crumpled math test results. a large, angry red 48/100 glares back at you from the paper, and you wince. it's the third failed math test this month. no matter how hard you try, no matter how many formulas you attempt to memorize, numbers just don't seem to click in your brain. you stuff the paper into your bag, muttering under your breath.
"great. just great."
you're not dumb—far from it. you're a pretty solid student in most subjects, but math? math is your achilles' heel. and you can already picture the conversation with your parents at dinner tonight. they've been on your case about your grades, and if they find out about another flunked exam, well... that's a disaster you're not ready to deal with.
as you slam your locker shut with more force than necessary, you catch a glimpse of nanami kento. he's standing at his locker not far from yours, his face set in that calm, unreadable expression he always wears. neat, composed, a little too perfect, really. you've never spoken more than a few words to him in class, but he's hard not to notice. he's the kind of guy who seems like he has everything figured out—top of the class, disciplined, never flustered by anything.
you're about to turn away when a shrill voice rings through the hallway.
"nanami-kun!"
a group of girls is lingering nearby, one of them stepping forward with a bright, flirtatious smile. "are you free after school? maybe we could study together?"
the girl's voice is sweet, her smile almost rehearsed, like she's done this a hundred times before. it's no secret that nanami is one of the most sought-after guys in school, and girls are always trying to get his attention.
you pause, pretending to fix your bag as you watch out of the corner of your eye, already knowing how this will go.
without even looking up from his locker, nanami replies, "i'm busy."
his voice is polite but detached, and the girl's smile falters. she quickly tries to recover. "oh, well... maybe another time?"
nanami doesn't respond, continuing to organize his books like she's not even there.
the girl fidgets awkwardly before giving up, walking back to her friends with a disappointed shrug. you can hear them whispering and giggling as they retreat down the hall. you almost feel bad for her—but at the same time, it's no surprise. nanami has this way of effortlessly deflecting attention, and yet, that only seems to make people more interested in him.
you snap out of your thoughts, turning to leave, but as you sling your bag over your shoulder, you feel a presence beside you.
"hey."
the deep, calm voice startles you, and you turn to find nanami kento standing right next to you. your heart skips a beat. you're not used to him being this close, let alone speaking to you directly.
"uh, hey?" you reply, trying not to sound as confused as you feel. why is nanami kento talking to you of all people?
he glances around briefly, then lowers his voice, his expression serious. "i need to ask you for a favour."
your eyebrows shoot up. a favour? from nanami? you're intrigued, to say the least. "what kind of favour?"
he hesitates for a moment, his eyes flicking back to the group of girls still lingering at the end of the hallway. then, with that same calm composure, he says, "i need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."
what?
for a second, you're sure you misheard him. "excuse me?"
"a fake relationship," he clarifies. "it'll be temporary."
you blink at him, completely thrown off. this was not the kind of favor you were expecting.
"okay..." you say slowly. "why would you need a fake girlfriend?"
nanami's eyes shift toward the group of girls again, the faintest hint of annoyance crossing his features. "lately, i've been getting a lot of unwanted attention," he explains, his voice low but steady. "it's distracting, and i don't have the time or interest to deal with it."
you take a second to process his words, your mind still trying to catch up. the most composed, serious guy in school needs a fake girlfriend to fend off admirers? it almost sounds ridiculous. but then again... you look at him—stoic, serious, perfectly put-together. you can see why people would constantly try to break down his walls.
"and you think this'll work?" you ask, crossing your arms skeptically.
nanami's expression doesn't change. "yes. people will lose interest once they see i'm already in a relationship."
you chew your lip, still unsure. "okay, but... why me?"
he turns his gaze to you, his eyes steady. "because you're not caught up in that drama. you're not the type to spread rumors, and you're not interested in unnecessary attention."
he has a point. you've always kept a low profile, and you don't really involve yourself in school gossip. but still...
"and what's in it for me?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
nanami doesn't hesitate. "i'll help you with whatever you need—homework, projects. you need help with math, don't you?"
your stomach flips at the mention of math. of course, nanami would know that. he's in your class, after all, and you've failed more than enough tests for it to be common knowledge by now. but still, hearing it from him—someone who probably never struggles with any subject—stings a little.
"how do you know that?" you mutter, crossing your arms defensively.
nanami raises an eyebrow, unfazed. "i've seen your test results. you're not bad in other subjects, but math is holding you back."
you're about to snap something back, but you stop yourself. he's right. you've been struggling in math all semester, and it's been dragging your grades down. if you fail one more test, your parents will lose it.
"and you're offering to tutor me?" you ask, the skepticism still clear in your voice.
nanami nods. "in exchange for this arrangement."
the offer is tempting—really tempting. it's not like you have any better ideas for improving your math grades, and having nanami, the top student, help you? that could actually save your skin. but at the same time, agreeing to a fake relationship with him? it's crazy.
you glance at nanami again. his expression is calm, composed, but there's something else in his eyes—something genuine. he's not asking for this because he wants attention or drama. he just wants peace.
after a long pause, you sigh. "fine. i'll do it."
for the first time, nanami's expression softens just a little—a flicker of relief, maybe. "thank you."
you smirk, a little more at ease now. "but if you flunk me in math, this deal is off."
nanami chuckles lightly—something you've never heard from him before. "you won't."
as you walk down the hallway together, the weight of the deal you've just made starts to sink in. you're about to dive into something completely unexpected, and who knows how this will all play out?
but one thing's for sure: your school year just got a whole lot more interesting.
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ragsy · 1 day
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"Olive Branch Unlimited Pasta Pass"
A less-than friendly encounter between Dogmark and Kenneth. 993 words. Read under the cut 👇
---
Mark grimaced at the jangle of the shop bell. It was ten minutes to closing; surely nobody needed taxidermy services this urgently. He was going to have to fucking sweep again, and why can't these people ever just put the dead cat in the damn freezer for the night?
He was halfway through his Customer Service Greeting-- a dry and listless "Hi, let me know if you need anything" with an implied "I hope you don't," when--
"Oh. Uh. Hi Kenneth," Mark coughed.
Kenneth, as it were, stepped into the Tucksidermy shop, taking in the many display shelves of magician squirrels, burlesque raccoons, and deer with hats, before finally catching Mark's attention. He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "Ah! Mark! Working hard?"
Kenneth let the shop door swing shut behind him; he held a large tupperware container tucked under one elbow, and his other hand gripped something in his pocket. For a man who had walked with a cane for as long as Mark knew him, Kenneth was moving with awfully fluid, easy strides.
Mark eyed the container with heavy suspicion. If there was someone's dearly departed family pet in there, he just might scream.
"Just. Uh. Closing up for the night," he said, setting his broom aside.
"Fantastic!" grinned the older man. "Then I hope you don't mind me asking: is Tuck in?"
Mark's pointed ears flicked.
Tuck had been different since coming back from the last mission. They hadn't told him everything that had happened, and the wedge between them and Kenneth remained vague handwaves and omissions. But still, holes in a story still leave behind the shape of some great and unspeakable thing.
And, if he was being honest, Mark was kinda creeped out by the way that guy was always so chipper. If he had more than a measly ounce of candor, he wouldn't have minded telling the old man to fuck off.
Mark slipped his glasses off and polished them on the front of his shirt.
"Tuck's not here," he lied.
Kenneth's face fell. "Oh! Are they, ah, are they alright?"
"Just-... Busy. I dunno."
This was, at least partially, the truth. The usual signs of Tuck is Working were present: Muffled FM radio pulsing through the wall. A hovering scent of blood and chemicals. A bearing in the workshop vent fan that squeaked at a frequency only dog ears could hear.
Kenneth furrowed his brow. "Oh. Hm."
That was another thing-- In the days since the mission to that facility, everyone had returned drained, bedraggled, frightened, or pissed off.
Everyone, that was, except Kenneth.
Kenneth, who Mark had seen take up jogging. Kenneth, whose familiar lines and wrinkles had begun to fade. Kenneth, whose sharpened eyes and revitalized wits now studied Mark, searching him for answers.
It all made Mark's skin crawl. Even as a grown-ass adult, he couldn't avoid feeling like a kid caught in a fib by a teacher. What the hell else was he supposed to say?Desperate for a break in eye contact, he replaced his glasses, grabbed the broom, and resumed sweeping.
Kenneth cleared his throat.
"Well, then, in any case, can I leave this here?" He was hoisting the container aloft in both hands. At Mark's skeptical stare at the plastic lid, he cracked open a corner, revealing a mess of pasta, tomatoes, and cheese.
Kenneth mistook Mark's sigh of relief for gratitude.
"Lasagna. I thought you both might appreciate some leftovers from dinner at Alice's house last night. So-- Ah, so sorry you had to miss it again!" The smile returned to his face. Uneasy. Apologetic.
Sorry. Right. Maybe they stayed home for a reason. Maybe they didn't want to be there with him. Maybe Tuck would have gone if he would just get rid of that fucking tape recorder. Mark's fingers twitched. Maybe he could take it from him the hard way.
He bit his tongue and swallowed his words.
"Um. Great," he said finally. He set down the broom and picked up the dustpan, dumping its contents unceremoniously in the trash.
"Ah," said Kenneth, crestfallen. Heavy silence fell over the two of them.
Once it was clear that Mark would make no move to accept the offering, Kenneth crossed the room and placed the container on the register counter. He patted the lid conclusively.
"Well, ah, I-... I hope you enjoy it!" A glimmer of hope clung to the edges of his words with desperation.
Once again, Mark said nothing. Folding his arms, his gaze darted from the tupperware, to the clock above it, to Kenneth. He sighed and swiped a hand down his face.
"Please go."
"Wh— Pardon?"
"We're closed."
Kenneth blinked. "O-oh, so soon?"
He swept his eyes across the shop. "Will, ah, will Tuck be back soon then, maybe?"
Mark thrust a clawed finger towards the door. "Get. Out," he growled, his human mask vaporized in an instant. A snarl curled up his snout, and his hackles bristled. Enough was enough.
The older man staggered backwards, eyes wide in terror. He raised his hands in submission and, without another word, fumbled open the door and slunk outside.
Mark slammed the shop door behind him and twisted the deadbolt shut. He glanced at the clock again. Five til was probably close enough.
Seething, he finished his chores and stalked out the back door.
Later, he rapped his knuckles on the doorframe to Tuck's workshop.
"Hey, we're all closed up now. I'm gonna get going." His voice shook a little, but he had at least managed to hide the dog back away.
Tuck looked up from its workbench. "Oh, heya Mark," it drawled. "Customers give ya any trouble today?"
"No. All good. See you tomorrow."
He hoisted the shop trash bag on his way out the door and slung it into the dumpster. It landed against the metal bottom with a heavy thud.
Kenneth's olive branch would be left there to rot until pickup day.
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happyk44 · 3 months
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Jason who immediately loses respect for people who don't own up to their mistakes vs Annabeth who would rather die than admit she made a mistake
#jason vs annabeth. autism vs npd lol#idk what the outcome is. i don't think they'd fight physically. but jason would get on her ass. and she'd be so fucking pissed abt it#she'd strategize different ways to put him in uncomfortable situations for whatever reason#and he's just vibing through them because he's been uncomfortable his entire life. pretending to be bacon for a monster is not new#anyway jason looking at his dad who's refusing to admit he made some dumb decisions and immediately going this guy is an idiot fuck him#happy talks pjo#npd!annabeth#jason grace#annabeth chase#oh oh annabeth needing everyone to like and trust her and jason's lost respect for her drives her up the fucking wall#she's the only one of the seven who could really be considered friends with all of them and jason's judgy eyes make her want to explode#she 100% rants herself to sleep about things he says. maybe that's where percy and jason's beef arised from#percy recognizing that annabeth is fustrated with jason because jason is blunt and doesn't really know to soften his words.#so now percy is fustrated with jason because annabeth is the source of his personhood right now. meanwhile jason is just vibing oblivious#no social awarenes whatsoever. anyway lol#but oooooo see leo's inferiority complex actually makes him fess up to errors in a way that judges him (jokingly but not really)#even if the error wasn't his fault. but it's his willingness to admit to his mistakes that makes jason really appreciate and trust him#so we have npd!annabeth who can't admit to being wrong because it would kill her ego#and then inferiority complex leo who does admit to being wrong because he hates himself#and when he fucks up he is quick to confess (often in a self-deprecating joke manner) so that no one can say anything that would hurt him#if he kills his ego before other people can even attempt it then he's safe from their judgement in some way#okaaaay bac to studying lol
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magentagalaxies · 4 months
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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yourlocaldisneyvillain · 11 months
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ppl who do mushrooms and weed bc they are "natural" (many things are Natural and doesn't mean they are good for you) will literally say shit like actually is has been PROVEN mushrooms are much less dangerous than alcohol!!!! alcohol is the DEVIL!!!!
gurl a glass of wine will never do to you what mushrooms can do to you. i've had a friend almost die bc she took "very safe" mushrooms that were legal and guaranteed by a certified shop owner that they were okay. she took a small, recommended amount. and she had a trip so bad she couldn't drink water bc she couldn't remember how and then she couldn't sober up, or eat chocolate which usually helps, etc. and she needed to be supervised bc she almost died. and other ppl in the group weren't doing so great either.
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josecariohca · 9 months
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starphobe · 5 months
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fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new
#do i think klck is correct? no#do i think a fandom full of grown adults should stop holding this (manipulated) (not sound of mind) teenager to wack standards? ya#like.... some of you are... how do i say this.... ~projecting~#and dont get me wrong this isnt me trying to say shes some kind of innocent misunderstood blorbo 🥺🥺🥺#i think shes a freak and a cunt. but im going to be normal about it and NOT say that she deserves to be killed (????)#pre-overtaking she was clearly aware that her behavior wasn't healthy#the fact she even went to jawbone at all (and was honest with him!) proves that imo#personally i feel like she might be neurodivergent -> struggling with knowing which rules to break and which ones to not#we literally JUST had an episode where the principal of AAA told students to their face that studying and working hard is dumb#i think kipperlilly came to aguefort. couldn't get a grip on what they Actually wanted from her#(parents went to mumple. she couldnt have been prepared for aguefort)#and out of frustration she fixated on people who were doing well and compared herself to them#and the only major surface difference she could find? tragic backstories#it only makes sense that she'd assume that THAT is what was missing. her inability to adapt to AAA was out of her control#so instead of blaming smth abstract (neurodivergence/other mental illness)#this single. concrete. and obvious difference is way easier to latch on to#but yeah. imo she just reads as someone super neurodivergent who received No Help because she 'made do'#and when thrown into a situation that required a skillset she wasn't born with. she shut down and got defensive#noone is born wanting to die yadda yadda#i think it's very interesting that when jawbone turned the question around on her (asking what SHE could do to get better)#she got quiet and awkward#its almost like she was trying her best? and just couldn't figure out where to go next?#and OH would you look at that. jace offering her a trip to the mountains of chaos. for a ~super dangerous adventure~#🙄#anyway.#awfully convenient. isn't it.#this has been me. having takes on ms goldendoodle shibainu#goodnight everyone (its noon)#not tagging this out of fear of the *** stans out there who will not stop taking things personally
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t-t-p-d · 1 year
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idk but sometimes i just sit around and realise life isn't that bad after all
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dullahandyke · 1 year
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-_-
#11 days to the leaving and only now am i drawing up what all i need to study#chronologically it makes sense to leave latin n music to the last bcos i have like a whole week after history to study for just them#and before that all of my exams are basically in the same week with allowance for the weekend#so i should focus on eng n maths particularly#n then bio and irish and history#but like. my history latin n music teachers r the only ones assigning work. for the exams i have the most time for. lol#like i can ignore the history n music teachers for the most part but like my classes w my latin teacher r one on one i CANNOT brush that of#so im here studying me fucking virgil ig instead of figuring out what im doing w the comparative#sigh. ok priorities ill make up that list of shit i gotta do for each subject#gotta suss out which movie im watching for eng and what poems n stories im studying for irish n what modules im doing for history! lol!#can u tell ive not been paying attention for like. 4 months.#remember kids: cramming is a cool and fun thing to do <- is in a pit#when the leaving cert ends i am going into my room never to be seen again for like a week.#and im getting me mam to buy me something for it. maybe a binder if i come out to her by then#oh well thats future talk. for now. figure out what to study. as ive already said twice#im playinh kh bgm to indulge in the hyperfocus while still getting study done n its kinda working#but mostly i just wanna play kh again...#i havent wrapped up the hades cup n i wanna restart com bcos i think i might know how it works better now#watched a one card deck challenge for recom and its the remake so some shits different but like. i get it now maybe#if nothing else gba com looks rlly rlly cute. the pixel art <£
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girlitfeelsgood · 2 years
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the few people I've spoken to on a dating app that live near me have just stopped responding to me and/or I haven't felt like the conversation was very good etc. the only person that I've really enjoyed chatting with and connected with a bit lives quite far away so I've been thinking it probably won't go anywhere yk. anyways now I've found a uni programme that sounds quite interesting in object conservation (I have been wanting to go into history but that's not exactly a degree that necessarily offers a lot of work and this is still history related while being meant to prepare you for a specific job, and a job that I think might suit me at that) that happens to be in the very city she lives in. I don't believe in the universe sending you signs or whatever but that's. interesting.
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exopelagic · 1 month
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talking to him more very much achieved. we just talked for like 4 hours in the kitchen holy shit I need to sleep
#I went into the kitchen to wash up wanting it to be a few minutes to get back to my parents by he came home at the same time#unsure what just happened honestly! as in I’m not sure what is going on from his end of the interaction#because I have never met anyone who would just do that before. like four hours straight when before we’d talked for periods of idk 10minutes#and he WAS engaged the whole time#granted he spent a significant amount of time talking. he talked far more than I did which is often the case but Im not sure how I felt here#I think he gets excited abt individual topics and. gets carried away is the wrong word but he gets absorbed in it#he spent a while talking me through the very complex maths he’s been doing recently#(he studies maths. also abt to start masters.) and was assuming a much stronger mathematical background than I have but I understood a bunch#he IS very good at explaining things and I was interested to a point but unfortunately I was not going to ask about individual theorems and#shit like that at 11pm. it was still super interesting I’m not downplaying that but I didn’t know half of what he brought up#there was basically no way I was going to understand much more than the vague concept anyway#anyway! also extremely into food. especially into traditional chinese cooking which is cool as fuck and I now know so much more abt food#I have never personally cared much at all about food. I enjoy when taste good and I enjoy cooking. he’s into the precision cooking#that he told me apparently Chinese and French food is the best in the world at. meant to be amazing at going for specific effects#oh he came back from a musical! apparently abt a woman with bipolar that was on in London I might check what that was. next to normal#cried 7 times. apparently he’s super into stories with that kinda emotional payoff. started telling me later abt tokyo animation#priest if you’re already seeing this I WILL be asking you abt it later but pls tell me whatever. he likes clannad and sound euphorium#bunch of others but those are the ones he talked most abt and started tearing up when he played me a song from clannad where the baby’s born#so I think biggest things I’ve learned are that he’s impressively in touch w his emotions (further damaging the straight guy case)#regardless it’s just nice to talk to a guy who talks abt stuff so openly it’s very refreshing#unsure how cultural differences factor in here. I would’ve expected it to go the other way but possible this is a degree more normal#and he’s very very academically minded. he learned Japanese bc was bored after high school and is doing a WHOLE lot of extra maths for fun#socially definitely very competent he’s very good at talking but a little more focused inward.#definitely did not notice the (admittedly extremely gentle) flirting throughout like when I complimented his bracelet#(this cute gold year of the rat thing his mum got him)#so yeah. was very fun talking to him. will process this for a while#I think this has definitely established that we could be friends if either of us pursue that after summer which is very cool!! will see#luke.txt
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