#i literally just flew out the window

[pallases]

[pentragonart]

dos this still count as Olruggiomemes?

[mechawolfie]

listen i know chanda is like a murderer but also hes kinda um. well uh, well. um. well.. 👉👈

[livwritesstuff]

“Steve,” Eddie mutters, “Stop it, you’re staring.”

Steve is staring, eyes fixed on a family sitting in a cluster of seats two rows ahead of them on the commuter rail — a mom and dad with three kids, the oldest no older than ten, the youngest four or five. They’re not too much older than Steve and Eddie’s own kids (who are seven, five, and two), and by the looks of the princess dresses and mouse ears and branded souvenir bags they’re also on their way home from the afternoon Disney on Ice show at the TD Garden.

“That mom,” Steve says, addressing Eddie even though his gaze doesn’t shift away from the unsuspecting targets of his relentless judginess, “is upset because her kids are whining and misbehaving, but they asked for food and she said no, and they said they were bored and she ignored them.”

In Steve’s defense (not that Eddie would actually say any of this to him; he doesn’t need the egging on), his assessment isn’t exactly incorrect. All three of those kids are either colossally melting down or just on the verge of doing so, and both of their parents are mostly ignoring them.

“God, and they’re gonna grow up learning they can’t rely on their parents for help,” Steve continues, “I just...I just don’t get why we had to go through all those evals and interviews and home visits and shit before we were deemed suitable parents when any idiot straight couple can just have a kid with no regulation whatsoever.”

“Steve,” Eddie says through gritted teeth as he glances at their own daughters to make sure they aren’t eavesdropping (they’re not – Moe and Robbie are sitting by the window and playing with the toys they’d gotten to pick out during intermission, and Hazel is halfway to asleep in Steve’s lap), “My love — little pitchers.”

Steve only shrugs, but he does drop the subject for the rest of the train ride.

The universe must hate Eddie (or love Steve) because that family gets off at the same station as them. Hazel is completely sacked out by then, and Steve had taken her while Eddie manned the older two and they’re busy running ahead of him to the car so there’s literally nothing he can do when Steve detours away from them to follow a few yards behind the other family.

When he finally makes his way back over to them, it’s with a gleeful grin on his face.

“I knew it.” Steve says with a gleeful grin, “I knew they had to be shitty parents.”

Eddie eyebrows flew up, because – seriously, the fucking audacity on this guy.

“You know what I always say – you can either be a good parent or have a clean car, and that car was fucking spotless.”

“Steve Harrington.”

[too-deviant]

freaky friday

OR… that one time you woke up in luke castellan’s body, told from the perspective of percy jackson.

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Fem!Demeter!Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Content: the most loser loser!luke has ever loser-ed. this is sooo unserious like pls.

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷

Percy Jackson had only been at camp for a day, but he was completely sure that something was wrong. 

It started early Sunday morning — well, when he thought back on it, he guessed it might have started late Saturday night, when he woke up to a few of the older campers (Luke included) sneaking off out of the cabin and not coming back until the sun was peeking through the horizon. 

But he didn’t really think about it until Sunday morning — when the thing that startled him out of sleep was a loud shout of  “Holy Fuck!” echoing from the bathroom. He sat up, startled, and eyed the door along with everyone else. Then there was a yelp. 

“Oh my gods. No — this is, this isn’t real. Am I still — oh don’t touch that. That’s not yours. Jesus, Luke — No. Stop looking. Oh my gods.” 

A few campers shared some wary glances, asking the silent question of who’s going to investigate? Eventually, Chris (Percy thought, one of Luke’s friends from yesterday), stood up with a sigh and a raised brow, stepping over sleeping bags until he stood outside of the door. He looked at them all, the curious eyes of literally every kid there, and knocked slightly. There was another yelp. 

“Uh…” Chris blew out a puff of air, “Are you okay in there?” 

A few seconds of tense silence, then the door cracked open and Luke Castellan stuck his head out. He looked at Chris, at all the kids staring at him, and smiled stiffly, “I’m good. Don’t worry about me.”

He shut the door once more, the force blowing Chris’ hair back for a brief moment. The boy shrugged and nodded at everyone else to start getting ready because it was almost time for breakfast. He headed over to Percy, asked how his first night was, and left him to gather his bearings before they had to leave. 

The kids attempted to forget about Luke’s debacle in the bathroom, but when they started to get impatient about his hogging it, all disregard of his personal business went flying out of the window. One kid mustered the balls to knock, and then another shouted through the wood for him to hurry up. 

Just as one of the Stoll brothers was about to pick the lock himself and check out the situation, the door flew open, and Luke frowned at them from the doorway, “I’m done, my gods.” 

They looked at him — he was leaning against the now open door, hip bucked out and not a care in the world that he was in nothing but his underwear. He glanced at them, then at the kid who Percy thought was called Conor, and sneered in his face until the kid flinched back. When he did, Luke pushed the bathroom door until it hit the wall and gestured dramatically inside, “In you go.” 

Percy didn’t think he was the only one who was shocked by Luke’s sudden show of attitude. Sure, he’d only known the guy for a day, but he’d been super nice the whole time. Even when Percy was ready to give up on finding his skill, Luke was supportive and kind. Now, he just looked irritated at everyone in the room. Maybe he wasn’t a morning person. 

Yeah, that was probably it. 

Percy decided to let him wake up a bit instead of irritating him with questions about how the morning routine at camp usually went. Instead, he followed the lead of the kids around him and got himself ready before lining up along the wall. His face bloomed red when someone had to tell him to go to the back because he was new, but other than that he was doing somewhat alright. 

Chris and Luke were arguing quietly in the corner, being careful to ensure nobody else could hear their murmurs. At one point, Luke stepped up so he was nose to nose with Chris and the boy put his hands on his chest to push him back — only for Luke to sharpen his eyes down at them with such a scandalised look that even Percy was slightly confused from where he stood and watched. Luke folded his arms over his chest indignantly and Chris sent him a dumb look before muttering something that made Luke straighten and drop his arms once more. 

When the boys ceased their conversation and walked over, the kids pretended as if they hadn’t been watching their entire time

“Okayyy.” Luke spoke, huffing out a breath. He shot his hands out and waved them, “Let’s go.” Nobody moved, and he furrowed his brows, “Uh, onwards and upwards? Hop to? En guarde?” Silence greeted him and he rolled his eyes, clapping loudly, “Can yall just fuckin’ move?”

The kids at the front flinched slightly, deciding it best to just leave rather than wait for him to say his usual morning pick-me-up. Clearly he was having a bad day and they chose to leave him to his own devices. Percy followed at the back, and couldn’t help but listen as Chris muttered to him once more from behind him. 

“Can you at least try to act like a normal person, please?” 

“I am acting normal.”

“Luke Normal.” He paused, waiting. Percy guessed Luke must’ve agreed silently because the next thing he said was, “Thank you. Now get to the front of the line like the cabin counsellor you are.” 

Luke huffed, pushing past Percy to get to the front of the line. Chris followed, whispering something about Luke having a bad day and to just ignore him before jogging to catch up. The blonde boy had never felt so awkward — the only friend he’d made and the guy was skulking around like he hated the world only twelve hours after they’d met. 

He tried to brush it off by focusing on his breakfast — blue pancakes, blue cherry coke. Okay, not the healthiest option but he was having a bad weekend, let him live. 

Chiron came to find him a bit after that, asking Percy how he was settling in and if he was ready for the Capture the Flag game they were playing later. 

After that, Percy tried to avoid the prying eyes of Annabeth by spending his free hour in the Hermes cabin where she couldn’t get to him — only to walk in on something a lot more awkward. 

Luke was lying on the floor, groaning in pain. The smiley Demeter girl he had introduced Percy to the day before was on top of him, also groaning in pain. 

“Uh, are you guys okay?”

They flinched, scrambling off each other and pulling themselves to their feet. Luke brushed himself off and looked at Percy wide eyed, “It’s not what it looks like!”

“Seriously.” The girl said when Percy raised his brow. She shook her head slowly, “We would never —“

“Yeah.” Luke scoffed, “Like never ever.” 

The girl — Percy was still trying to remember her name — turned her head and looked at him blankly, “Okay. That wasn’t needed.”

“I’m just clarifying.”

“You didn’t need to sound so disgusted about it, though.” 

“Oh my god.” Luke scoffed a chuckle, shaking his head, “You’re such a guy.”

Percy screwed up his face, and Luke suddenly backtracked, “Uh, I mean — such a lie…er.” Even he looked confused by what he’d said. He straightened up and scoffed, waving his hands, “She wants me so bad. Right? Bro?” He held out a fist, but Percy just looked at it. 

The girl, who had swiftly knocked his hand back to his side and stepped slightly in front of him, smiled kindly like she had yesterday when she’d asked how Percy was feeling about the sudden change in his life. “Sorry for scaring you, Perce. We’re just talking about something. Did you have a question?” 

“Yeah, actually.” He looked at her, “Are you in pyjamas?” 

She looked down at herself like she was just remembering her white tank top and fleece pyjama pants with bats printed on them, and Luke laughed into his fist. Upon hearing his chuckles, she swivelled back to glare at him, “Hey, don’t laugh at me! Would you rather me undress you?” 

“What?” Percy asked. He was ignored. 

Luke took a step back and held up one finger, “Uh, no. I don’t need you looking at my tits, perv.” 

“What?” Percy tried again. 

The girl scoffed, looking away from him and muttering under her breath, “Kinda hard not to when they get hot in the night and climb out of your shirt.” 

Luke gasped and put his hands to his chest, “Oh my gods.” 

“I tried not to look but they were right there — !”

"Well — " Luke stammered for a rebuttal, eventually pointing in accusation at the girl beside him, "You had morning wood!

"What — ?!"

“Hey, guys!” Percy finally interrupted, and they looked at him in surprise like they’d forgotten he’d been standing there the whole time. “What the hell is going on?”

The two shared a look, but it was you who stepped forward and looked at him kindly, “Nothing you should worry about. You’ve had a tough weekend already, just pretend you never saw us.” 

Percy was tempted to refuse and force them to spill the beans, but they were two older campers who could very well send him to detention or whatever it was they did here for punishment — he wasn’t keen on finding out. So he left with a nod and closed the door behind him. 

Your voice drifted through the window, “—can’t believe you wear batman pyjamas.”

“At least I wear pyjamas.” Luke responded, “You left very little to my imagination this morning.” 

He walked off before he could hear anymore. 

He didn’t see either of you again until just before lunch. He was walking through camp with Grover, half-listening to his friend yap about a blueberry bush he thought was cute, when they passed you and your sisters giggling about something near the forges. 

“Gods, he’s cute, though.” One of them was saying, eyeing up a boy with soot all over his face. Percy couldn’t see much of him to determine him as cute, but your sisters seemed to agree with a loud dreamy sigh. 

“He is, don’t get me wrong.” Another girl added, “But consider this: Lee Fletcher.”

“Oh, yeah.” 

“He’s got potential. He’s got potential.” 

Percy found himself slowing down, the teenage boy in him wondering if someone would mention his name. Of course they wouldn’t — he’s twelve, and they’re all around yours and Luke’s age, but a boy could dream. 

One of the girls clicked her tongue, looking at you, “Who was it you said was sorta dreamy the other day?”

Percy watched you freeze, suddenly looking very awkward. You took a deep breath in and pretended to think about what you were going to say, but one of your sisters chimed in for you.

“It was Astor. The Ares kid with the curly hair.” 

“Oh yeah!”

“What?” You exclaimed, scrunching up your face. When your sisters looked at you all confused, you backtracked, “Uh, I mean yeah he’s…cute.” You forced the word out with difficulty, “But, I dunno. There's cuter guys out there.”

“Oh?” Your sister said, interested, “Who are you thinking?”

Now you were on the spot. You swallowed, making these exaggerated facial expressions that Percy assumed were you trying to convince the girls that you had just come up with this idea, when you’d actually probably been wanting to say it the whole time you’d been talking and just needed an excuse, “Oh, I don’t know…” You shrugged, “Luke Castellan’s sorta…y’know?”

The girls looked between each other, and you watched with slight anticipation. Then one of them, the one who had mentioned Lee Fletcher earlier, said, “I swear you said he was too full of himself.”

“What —?”

“Yeah, she did.” The other chimed in, “You said he would be cuter if he didn’t — what was it? — flaunt around camp like he had the biggest cock out of all of ‘em.”

The girls laughed, and you attempted a weak chuckle, but it sorta looked like you were in pain. Percy thought it best to walk off after that, looking for Grover who had long since left him to his eavesdropping devices and presumably wandered off into the forest to look for Blue the blueberry bush. 

So maybe Percy should’ve pressed harder when he’d cornered you and Luke earlier that morning. He thought he could brush it off, even when he kept seeing Luke lift up the hem of his shirt and poke at his abs in wonder, or when he saw you pushing your hair out of your face once every ten seconds before finally putting it in the messiest ponytail he’d ever seen. It was as if you had lost all sense of self overnight, like you'd never actually seen your own bodies before. It creeped him out, but he held back on asking. Maybe it was a demigod thing he hadn't been taught yet.

The straw that broke the camel's back, however, was after dinner. Usually when the nymphs take the plates away and the campers start to trickle down to the campfire, a few odd groups would stay behind at their tables, gossiping or finishing their desert until they had to get up and go — not only were you and your siblings part of this group of people, but so were Luke and Chris (and, by default because he had nobody else to hang out with, Percy). 

So the newcomer had the fortunate opportunity to bear witness to possibly the greatest series of events he’d ever seen (and he once saw a rat the size of a small dog eating a small dog). 

It all started when a girl from the Aphrodite table stood up and walked over to where the boys were sitting. 

“So, if you do ever want to sneak out to the forests, don’t go through the pavilion.” Chris was explaining, “Mr D has a birds eye view of the whole place from his bedroom window, so you gotta sneak as close to the Big House as you can get. But make sure to duck under the windows just in case Chiron is trotting around in there.” 

“And be careful around cabin four.” Luke butted in, “They have vines that spring out of the floor whenever a non-Demeter kid gets too close during the night.”

Chris turned to his brother with a look, “How do you know that?”

“Oh, uh — ”

“Hey, Luke.” 

Three heads turned to the edge of the table where she was standing — a pretty girl with short blonde hair, a few strands dyed pink near the front. She was smiling at Luke cheekily and Percy noticed Chris send his brother a smirk. 

“Uh, hi…” Luke trailed off, squinting.

“Laura.” She finished with a frown.

“Laura!” He exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “I knew that. I did.”

“Cool.” She said slowly, brushing off the moment and bouncing around the table to sit next to him on the bench. She leaned on her elbows into his side and Percy watched him shuffle back, only for Chris to push him right back forward. “So, uh, I had fun…last night.” She side eyed Percy across the table, but the boy just pursed his lips awkwardly. 

“Really?” Luke responded, a little shocked. He nodded, “Well, uh, me too?”

Laura grinned widely at that, back straightening, “I’m so glad we agree.”

Percy wasn’t so sure Luke agreed, he wasn’t even sure the guy remembered whatever saucy interaction she was referring to. But he was pretending to, for her sake. He blinked at her silently, but she just looked as if she was waiting for him to say something — Percy was only young, but he’d seen enough movies to know that she was waiting for him to suggest they do it again sometime. 

He did not. Instead he twisted his body away from her and back towards Percy, smiling at him, “Wanna head to the campfire, get some good seats?”

The boy was moments away from responding, but Laura clearly wasn’t taking his silence as an answer. She pulled Luke back to face her by his arm and blinked up at him, “I was just about to suggest we skip the fire tonight. Just us, y’know?” 

Chris cleared his throat and stood, ushering for Percy to do the same, “Let’s go, lil bro.”

“Wait — “ Luke stood with them, staring back with a silent plea of help. Chris wasn’t having it, just grinning at him. 

“Have fun, Luke.” He snorted, “See you later.” 

“No, you can’t — ” He started, but Laura was yanking him back with a high pitched giggle. 

“You heard him, Luke.” She smirked, “No one's gonna notice we’re gone, loosen up.” She ran a slow finger down his torso, and Percy watched him visibly tense up. He didn’t understand why she hadn't taken the hint already. 

Chris seized Percy by the wrist and began to pull him away, occasionally looking back and giggling like a schoolgirl, with the odd snort. The younger boy didn’t really want to look back, but then when he heard Luke yelp like a girl, well…

He had to. And thank the gods he did.

Luke was sprawled on the table like a scared rabbit and Laura was standing with one hand hanging limply in the air, looking confusedly at his stance. Chris burst into loud laughter when he noticed Luke’s legs were spread and the boy was trying really hard not to look at his own crotch. 

They walked over when it was clear someone needed to intervene, and Percy noticed the Demeter girls from before joining them — you were at the front, looking panicked and slightly annoyed.

"What's going on?" You asked, looking between the two of them.

"Nothing." Laura said plainly, "We were just talking."

Luke looked at you, “She — uh, she grabbed your — uh, your — ” 

He gestured between his legs with a shaky hand. Percy raised a brow, as did everyone else at the scene. Except for Laura, who began to cackle loudly, bending over at the hips and bracing her hands on her thighs. The rest of the kids stared at the pair with varying expressions, and Laura straightened up, wiping under eyes with a giggle before pointing between you and Luke. 

“You guys — oh my gods — ” She laughed again, shaking her head and trying to breathe long enough to get her words out, “Holy Hades, Castellan. I’m — I’m sorry.” 

She held her hands up in surrender, looking at you now, “I am. I didn’t know you guys were dating. I guess I took mine and Luke’s conversation the wrong way, but — ” Another wheeze, “And I shouldn’t be laughing, but he just referred to his penis as yours, and I — ” 

“Laura, it’s not like — ” You stepped up with a wince, trying to alleviate the growing tension between the group. The Aphrodite girl wasn’t listening. 

“I just think that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard since…” She took a moment to think, catching her breath and smiling at herself as she thought about it. Eventually, she gestured to you with a laugh, “Well, since last night when you called Graham Lee an extra-terrestrial ass-kisser.” 

Luke licked his lips, taking a deep breath in and pushing himself off the table and to his feet. He went to say something to Laura, face serious, but then he stopped and knocked his head back in a slight movement. He looked around at nothing, as if he was recollecting a memory, and then he gasped and pointed a finger at you, “I did do that.”

“You called Graham Lee an extra-terrestrial ass-kisser?” You tilted your head at Luke, “Why?”

Luke shrugged, “He grabbed my ass.” 

Laura scrunched up her face, looking between the pair of them, “Are you guys on drugs?”

"There aren't any drugs at this camp." You blanked. You brother laughed.

"Says the drug dealer."

You raised a brow in shock, like you'd had no idea about your own small business. You looked at Luke intensely -- Percy thought maybe you were trying to keep your drug dealing thing a secret, and Luke had gone and spilled the beans. That would explain why he suddenly looked so sheepish. It wouldn't explain why you then said, "Well I am not on drugs."

"Then what is wrong with you guys?" Someone finally asked the question Percy had been sitting on since he watched you hover your hands over your own boobs before retracting them quickly as if it was against some demigod rule to touch your own body — only for Luke to see from afar and have some very stern words to say about it.

Finally, after ten seconds of intense eye contact, you and Luke took in simultaneous breaths. It was you who spoke first, addressing the whole crowd — which consisted of Percy, Laura, Chris, and the Demeter kids — “We’re in eachother’s bodies.” 

The Demeter kids made grossed out faces, but Chris just snorted into his fist and let the conversation go on. Percy had never been more confused in his entire life — and he had once thought his dad was Jesus. 

Laura chuckled, “Yeah, we know that. His penis is yours, or whatever freaky shit yall are up to.” 

“What?”

“No — ” 

You and Luke spoke at once, each taking a single step forward. You paused, looking at each-other until you gestured at Luke with a sigh, letting him speak. He nodded, “We’re serious. We are in each other's bodies.”

“Freaky Friday style.” You jumped in before anyone could make a sex joke. You sent the group a sharp look, and then zeroed your eyes in on Percy, “That’s why we were acting so out of it earlier.”

It was silent for a long stretch — everyone looking between one another. Percy didn’t even know what to say. It did explain their strange behaviour, but —

“How the hell did you end up in each other’s bodies?” A demeter boy asked, holding a finger up like he was in class. The rest of them nodded, wondering the same. 

“Well…” Luke sighed (or You sighed, he guessed. He was still confused), “At first we had no idea, but now I think it was Graham Lee.”

Another Demeter girl hummed, “He is a Hecate kid. It’d make sense that he put some freaky spell on you after you insulted him.”

Chris coughed, still red in the face from laughing into his shirt, “Okay, but why Luke?” 

You shrugged, “Dunno. I’ve never done anything to the guy.”

Suddenly, Laura let out a long, “Oooohhhh.”

Everyone eyed her. She pursed her lips in embarrassment, although Percy definitely saw amusement in her eyes. She tucked some hair behind her ear and winced, “So, maybe we went to the clash together.”

“The what?” Percy asked, finally speaking up. The rest of the group looked at him as if only just realising he’d been standing there, suddenly looking sheepish. 

“Uh, it’s a party.” Chris scratched behind his ear, “Older campers only, but if you don’t tell anyone about ‘em you can come to the next one.” 

He shrugged, “Deal.”

“So, wait.” You pointed at Laura, “You went to the clash with Graham? Like with him?” 

“Yeah.” She folded her arms indignantly, “But he was literally staring at you the whole time, so I left to flirt with Luke.” 

Your cheeks dusted pink, and both Laura and Percy realised she was talking to Luke, not you. She turned to Luke, clearing her throat, “Sorry. He was staring at you the whole time. So I left to flirt with…uh, Luke.” 

A collective breath ran through the group, everyone putting the pieces together in their own heads. Percy was still a little unsure, but he had the gist (maybe). Just as he was about to suggest they go find this Graham guy and ask him to undo his spell, one of the Demeter girls Percy had seen talking to you earlier gasped and looked between you and Luke with wide eyes. 

“So when we were talking before…” She looked at you, “We were talking to Luke?” 

You — or Luke, but as you — stammered, and Percy couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. Luke looked on, confused, and the girl looked at him with a smirk, 

“Earlier, we were gossiping about hot guys.” She chuckled, pointing at you, “And Luke suggested his own name, as you!” 

“What?” Luke exclaimed at you, partially appalled but also holding in a laugh. 

You stammered for an excuse, but then her face contorted and she zeroed Luke with an accusatory stare, “Well, you said I walked around camp acting like I had the biggest cock out of them all!” 

Luke scoffed, “You do.” 

“I do not!”

“You kind do.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“You sorta do, man.”

You turned to Chris, scandalised, “Bro.”

The boy shrugged, “Sorry man. It’s true.”

Eventually, you managed to convince the kids to finally go to the campfire and leave Luke and yourself to fix your problem with Graham when you got down there. They agreed, although not without making as many jokes as they could on the walk down to the clearing. 

“So, how did you guys pee?”

“Have you seen each other all naked and stuff now?”

“Did Luke have morning woo — ?”

“Alright.” You smacked Chris hard on the back for that one. “To your sections, please.”

Percy sat down on the end of a log, and watched as the two of you walked over to Graham and spoke to him in hushed but harsh tones. At one point, Graham was looking between you two with the most genuine look of confusion and Percy assumed he only agreed to reverse the spell because it was making his mind go all wobbly just talking to you. 

When he saw Luke again, it was at lights out. Percy was tucking himself into his thin sleeping bag when the boy came over, crouching to his level and dropping something on his lap. 

He lifted the bag of coins to his eyeline and then raised a brow at Luke, “What’s this for?”

“Drachmas.” He explained, “Just enough to get you a new shirt at the camp store. Or a thicker pillow, some three ply toilet paper. Whatever you want, really.” He shrugged, “Partly a welcome to camp gift, partly hush money.”

“Right.” Percy lowered the bag and levelled Luke with a curious look, “How was being in another person’s body? Weird?”

“Oh yeah.” He nodded, looking into the distance like he was having some awful flashbacks. Percy remembered seeing you walk out of the bathroom earlier, a look of terror plastered in your eyes. 

He cleared his throat, “Well, thanks for the money.”

“No problem, kid.” He patted him on the shoulder, “Get some rest. It’s capture the flag day tomorrow and guess what?"

"What?"

"We're teaming up with Demeter."

[macfrog]

sweet child o' mine | pt. iii

now taking name suggestions for my joel's duck doodle. must rhyme with a curse word. most creative wins.

pairing: neighbor!joel x fem!reader

summary: as your pregnancy progresses, you and joel are getting closer. dangerously closer.

warnings: reader is literally pregnant so typical pregnancy symptoms & descriptions of stuff like extreme nausea and gagging (reader throws up off-page, no graphic description past sore throat/esophagus afterward), body changing, nerves around birth/becoming mom, another sonogram (gender reveal...?), baby kicks felt, labor pains shhh, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), joel is dating someone who isn't reader, our girl hates nye (she's valid), tommy uses colors to represent gender (he is Wrong), joel is for sure emotionally cheating at this point and reader knows it, joel kisses someone who is not his partner again, f masturbation, memories of the hot dirty sex they had whew, a SPRINKLING of breeding kink, praise kink, size kink, another parent dies (i love parents i promise ????), jealous!reader, protective!joel, alcohol consumption, cursing, a LOT of angst, lots of fluff, lil bit of smut, and duckie has the best comedic timing of any character in this entire series. :) DISCLAIMER: this series covers some issues which i know may be sensitive and possibly triggering to some. warnings will always be as thorough as possible, but if there’s ever anything you feel i’ve missed, please let me know. feel free to drop by my inbox anytime.

word count: 11.4k (sorry. lots to cover lots to do.)

pt. i / series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🩵

December.

The days are funneled by a quick pinch of dark, the breeze heavy in its sail. Houses lined with twinkling lights and windows pierced by pointed trees. Crooning from every radio station, teary-eyed movies on TV, and spiced apple everything.

You hate every fucking minute of it.

“Wait a second,” Tommy sits forward, leaning in, “you never do nothin’ for New Years?”

You shrug, lifting your eyebrows. “Nope. Just don’t like it much. That a crime?”

He considers it as he hands his empty tumbler up to Joel, his head lolling some. He’s on his…fourth drink of the night, right? Though, if you take into account his earlier argument – I’m eatin’ as I go. It don’t count. – it’s probably more like two. But it’s whiskey, so –

Never mind.

“Yeah,” Tommy finally decides, “kinda. The hell’s wrong with you, girl?”

“Tommy.”

Joel’s voice is a warning, edged by the sharp clink of three glasses pinched in his fingers.

His brother laughs amiably in response, though, nodding to your mock-offended expression. “At least you’re spendin’ it right this year. Last one before lil’ Dickie comes along, huh?”

Maria slaps his shoulder, rolling her eyes. “It’s Duckie,” she hisses, glancing over to you.

“Shoot,” he says, chuckling. “I knew that. My mistake.” And then, hand out towards you in an apology which makes your shoulders jerk with laughter, “I did know that, I swear.”

Tommy and Maria flew in a few days ago; the younger Miller adamant that he’d spend one last New Years with his big brother before he became a father. The night they arrived, they showed up on your doorstep – a hamper filled with diapers and muslins and baby socks hanging from Maria’s arm. They’ve asked to hang out with you every day since.

They’re good fun. Tommy likes you, at least, enough to tease you as much as you figure a brother might. He’s definitely the louder of the two – sometimes you swear you notice Joel cringing at him, something caught between a laugh and a frown on his face. And Maria’s sweet; she’s asked probably six times every hour since she first saw you if you’re feeling okay, if you’re tired, if you’re hungry.

Joel text you yesterday morning. Tommy and Maria wondering if you feel like coming over for NYE. No pressure, he added, I lie pretty good.

A smile snuck its way across your lips before you had the chance to tame it. Sure, you typed, I’ll bring the newspaper.

What Joel’s told them, about the wedding and the baby and everything since, you’ve no idea. You guys almost talked about it when he told you they were flying down after Christmas, but before you got the chance to ask him, Vanessa pulled up out front.

Not exactly a conversation you felt like having with the dude’s girlfriend hooked around his right arm.

She smiles at you, now, as you shuffle to the edge of the armchair you’re curled up in. Joel’s armchair – the plaid blanket cradling you, the leather soft and crinkled beneath. Your eyes quickly drop from hers when his hand reaches for your mug, your fingers crossing as you pass it up. “Let me come help,” you say, pushing from the chair.

He holds up a palm, shaking his head once. “Stay. I got it.”

“Thanks,” you murmur, settling back. Vanessa resumes smiling. You wish she’d fucking quit it. You wish you’d fucking quit focusing on her.

Joel knocks the mug gently against your shoulder with a small, almost sympathetic smile, and heads for the kitchen – leaving you sat between Tommy and Maria on one couch, and Vanessa on the other. You tuck your heels under your thighs, picking at a hangnail as you wait for the conversation to thaw.

Maria makes some comment about Austin in the winter: how different it is to Jackson, and the three of you nod and hum in agreement before the chatter fizzles to nothing again. You glance over to the clock, watching the hands chase one another to twelve.

This isn’t what you imagined a get-together with Joel’s family would feel like. Tight, tense. So tense that you can feel the weight on your chest, closing your lungs. Talking about the weather and the holiday traffic, talking about nothing to avoid talking about everything.

Tommy’s chin lifts, after a second too long of silence. “Hey, Joel!” he barks. “You ain’t shown me this nursery yet!”

Joel leans around the doorframe, half-distracted. “Barely even started it, little brother. Crib only got delivered yesterday.”

“Sheesh,” Maria’s eyes widen, “you sure are prepared.”

Vanessa laughs when Joel rolls his eyes and vanishes again. “You got no idea,” she says, “I have never seen him so…pedantic, right?” She looks to you, still smiling. So sweet, you worry your lips are pursing at the sight of it. Your neck tensing. Your eyes watering.

“Yeah,” you reply, nodding shyly and swallowing back the saccharine. “I think he’s more nervous than he’s letting on.”

Joel’s voice calls from the kitchen again: your name. When you answer, he says, “Why don’t you take Tommy up, show ‘im what we got so far?” and then, leaning back around the door, “She picked the color ‘n whatnot.”

“Ah,” Tommy says, palms pushing down on his knees, “so you’re the brains, then?”

You mirror him, accepting Joel’s request. As though you had any choice in the first place. Standing beside the younger Miller, you mutter, “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

He holds a hand out to usher you ahead, following you upstairs. Past the tousle-haired boy in grayscale, past the German shepherd, past the Christmas Day portrait. Wandering like you know the house inside out, like you might’ve picked the exact coordinates of each nail the picture frames hang on yourself.

Like the photographs pinned to the walls aren’t still as alien to you as they’d been that day you first set foot in here, the dress Joel would come to tear from your body slung over your arm.

You twist the gold handle and unveil a homely little room, painted by you and Joel just last week. The soft blue drying into his knuckles, random splatters on your palms and your jeans. The giggles drawn from your chest; the thief either the chemicals from the paint, or the man rolling it over the walls – and you’ve a pretty good idea of which.

Tommy sniffs roughly, nodding. Taps the toe of his boot against one of the two bulky boxes leant against the wall, a crib printed on one and a rocking chair on the other. His tipsy head bob bob bobbing. “Alright. ‘s nice, ain’t it?”

You settle against the window, the glass cold at your back. “Real nice, yeah. Be even better once it’s done.”

“What’s yours look like?”

“Mine?”

“Nursery at your place. Your one pink, ‘case it’s a girl?”

You snort. “Mine is a little greener. More…I guess it’s duck egg. Had some leftover paint.”

He clicks his fingers and points to you. “See what you did there. Duck egg. Duckie.”

“Hm. Wish I were that poetic. I just like the color.”

Tommy stuffs his hands in his pockets, wanders around the bare room. The faint lingering of whiskey putting up its best fight against the clean bite of fresh paint, the sweet scent shaking from him when he nods some more at the blank walls and naked windows. He clicks his teeth and asks, “How you holdin’ up, anyways?”

“How am I holding up?”

“Yep. With, uh…” he nods to the door, eyes wide, “…Vanessa,” he whispers. Louder than he must think – probably echoed, if anything, by the palm he curves around his mouth.

You cross your arms protectively, shoulders bunching. “She’s fine,” you say, voice deliberately low. You both ignore the crack in it when you add, “I like her. She’s – she’s taken this all like a champ.”

Tommy leans on the window ledge, a rugged hand you reckon you’d know was a Miller’s just by looking at it. Same rough-cut quality as Joel’s, like they’re torn from the same sheet of sandpaper. He props the other on his hip. “But, boy – it’s gotta be complicated, right?”

“I guess. But she’s real sweet about it. And Joel’s been great, too.” You sniff, the memory of your kiss flashing behind your eyes. The steady drum of Duck’s heartbeat, the gleam in Joel’s eye when he looked down at you. The guilt seeping from your skin like beads of sweat, prickling along your spine and fizzling against the cold windowpane.

Tommy blinks at you, liquor-glazed eyes scanning. His shoulders jerk, a loud huh propelling from his throat. When your head cocks in confusion, startled from your daydream, he spills. “He ‘n I had a mighty long talk when he told me.”

You feel yourself leaning in, magnetized to him – body hunched as though you’re gossiping in the corner of a house party. Inhaling secrets with the tinge of alcohol on Tommy’s breath. “Oh, yeah?”

Tommy hums. “Just wanted to make sure he’d thought it all through. Not you – I always knew he’d take care a’ you and Duck. But…involving Vanessa,” he lowers his voice again, glancing over to the warm light spilling in from the hallway, “I just wanted him to be sure.”

Your blood begins to warm, heat flooding through your body as you step closer, murmuring, “What’d he say?”

He flicks his head, seeming to toss his initial response to the wind. “You know Joel. He is his own man.”

Your face screws, head jerking back. “What’s that mean? He is his own man?”

A voice from the doorway interrupts. A shadow swimming in the golden light. “Who is?”

Tommy steps away from you, loosening his arms as his big brother drifts into the shadowy room. Dusting the conversation under the rug. The smell of whiskey backs off. “Speak of the devil. Nice paint job, Joel. Missed a couple spots, but – I’ll let you off.”

“Uhuh.” Joel’s eyes thin, his body slanted against the wall. Arms crossed, bottle of beer hanging from his fingers.

Tommy swaggers forward when Joel holds the bottle out, taking it with a wary glance at the tall figure. A dog meandering back to his owner, tail between his legs and ears flat. It takes his gritty voice to jolt you back to the room, splintering your gaze from Joel’s toned arms and huge chest. “Looks real good, you two. ‘s one lucky kid.”

Joel’s jaw lifts, his eyes landing on you. Dogs are terrible liars. “He talkin’ your ear off?”

You smile; recognizing the softer Joel you’ve grown used to over the last three months replacing the stern, cold version you once knew so well. “Only a little.”

“Tommy,” he says then, “Maria needs you for somethin’.”

The denim-donned Miller nods knowingly and heads out of the room, thud of his boots receding downstairs.

“Maria okay?” you ask, making space for Joel as he settles beside you.

He shrugs. “Only said that to get him outta your hair.”

You frown. “You sent me up here with him in the first place.”

“So I could come up ‘n check on you. Know this must be a lot – the two of them, tonight.”

“I’m fine. Promise. I’m a big girl.”

You both sigh, turning to look out at the dark street. Your arms cross, sitting somewhere above the tiny slope of your bump – a new development you’re still getting used to. Your stomach feels tighter, a little more solid than usual when you touch it. A little more…real. There’s someone in there, right? Like, actually there. They’re changing the way you look, the way you feel.

“This is it, right?” you say, staring at the white lanterns illuminating Alice Brown’s rose bushes. “This is the year.”

“The year,” Joel agrees.

“Mhm. Become a mom. Become a dad.”

He purses his lips. “Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve had bigger years, kid.”

“Let’s hear it, old man. Let’s hear about your biggest year. God knows you’ve had plenty to choose from.”

He sucks a deep breath in, eyes tracing the silhouette of the houses across the street as he thinks. “Senior year, nineteen ninety-three. Asked Stacy Moore as my date to the prom ‘n she said yes. I was so nervous that I forgot my bow tie. Was a pretty good year.”

You hum, agreeing, and then, “I see your ninety-three, and I raise you: two thousand and one. There was this bike I wanted for-fucking-ever; it had, like, little beads on the spokes – would make this ratatatat sound whenever it moved. Tassels hanging from the handlebars, all iridescent. I begged my mom the entire year for it, and on Christmas morning I woke up, and…” You lift your hands, air puffing from between your lips. “Santa Claus delivered that year, dude.”

“Well,” Joel clicks his teeth, shell hardening only a little, “thanks for making me feel old as hell.”

“You’re welcome.” You beam back at him, breaking into a laugh when he does.

The two of you stand a little distance apart, denying yourselves the innocent brushing of shoulder against shoulder, the nudging of elbows and swaying of hips. Admiring the empty sky and emptier street, bathing between the cold moonlight of outside and the warm lamplight in.

And from somewhere deep in your belly, somewhere tucked behind your ribs, beneath your slow-growing womb: an urge to ask about her. To bring her up. To tend to the curiosity that Tommy poked a clumsy, drunken finger straight into, tearing it apart at the seams.

Like pressing on a new bruise, satiating the hungry need to know where you were hurt, how you were hurt, when you were hurt. A bent fingertip, pushing heavily into a sensitive splatter of dark purple; the burst blood vessels hissing in response, whispering, You don’t know, and you don’t want to know.

But you defy them. You do want to know. Want to satisfy the disturbed thrill you felt, leaning into Joel’s brother. Hands turning over one another, wet bottom lip trembling as he rounded the corner on some sort of…what was it, a secret? Some sort of truth, a long-buried revelation about the other woman. She’s a witch, have you spotted her crooked nose? She’s plotting something, I swear. She’s up to no good.

Your eyes lift again, focusing back on the dull color of the outside world. The bland canvas of reality. She’s not a witch, nor some genius mastermind. She’s a boring, relatively normal woman. Kind, thoughtful. Naïve and a little too eager to please; too willing to forgive a situation which warrants no such kindness or empathy.

She’s just…fine. Lukewarm. And you’ve no idea why that pisses you off so much.

Which, incidentally, makes the bruise sting all the more.

“Maria, Maria,” Tommy’s voice claws its way upstairs, “turn it on, turn it – Joel? Joel! It’s midnight, Joel, you two better come on down, now! Have we missed it –? Have we –?”

The sound of cheering slowly bubbles to life behind his drawl as the TV volume picks up, the tittering of Maria and Vanessa chiming in.

“…five, four, three, two, one…Happy New Year!”

Joel’s looking over his shoulder, waiting for footsteps or voices or a girlfriend who never shows. And he ignores his brother, for he is his own man, and turns to you instead. Bracing himself on the ledge, he blinks down with a plain grin on his lips. “Happy New Year, Mom,” he whispers.

You return his smile, taking his hand when he reaches out to you. “Happy New Year, Dad,” you reply, squeezing his palm.

He pulls you in for a hug, kissing your cheek briskly as you hook your arms over his shoulders. His beard scratches your cheek, grazes the curve of your shoulder, and you don’t mind. Your small, swollen belly presses against his; the tiny curve safe in the midst of your embrace.

Outside, the sky crackles to life with the distant spatter of fireworks, color shattering across the black canvas – red, blue, green and gold, dissolving as quickly as they explode into the now-January night. A burst of purple light washes between the two of you, and you turn your head on Joel’s shoulder to watch as the sparks rain over your neighbors’ roofs.

“I should get goin’,” you whisper, feeling his heartbeat a little too strongly against your own. Becoming suddenly aware of the weight of your frames locked together.

“Glad you came,” he says as he leans away. “I know this ain’t…I know we’re all tryin’, but you’re tryin’ the most, and I appreciate it. I hope you know that.”

“I know it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “Now, go. Go kiss your girlfriend.”

He chuckles, making for the door. “You want me to walk you home?”

Your eyes close serenely, the image of him doused in flickers of gold burning behind your eyelids. “I’ll survive the walk across the hedgerow, Miller.”

Joel nods once and leaves, plodding downstairs to be greeted by his open-armed girlfriend, a peck between them, arms crossed behind his neck. The lyrics of Auld Lang Syne slurred against his lips.

And you think – You know what? If it’ll rip you apart from her, if it’ll keep her bright red lips and her shining curtain of hair away from you, if it’ll stop her sucking in your air and your smell and your attention for thirty fucking seconds –

Then, yeah. Walk me home. Stay for a drink. Sleep in the goddamn guestroom.

Walk me home.

You slip out of the front door when the two couples are in the kitchen, missing Joel’s calling your name – or perhaps just ignoring it altogether.

“Spread the love at St. David’s this Valentine’s Day…”

Joel slows alongside a wall of cerise hearts, each one fluttering like wings whenever the hospital doors slide open and the breeze sneaks inside. Slips scrawled with names and messages: Love you M! and J + A, crude drawings of stick figures holding hands. Your lips curl into a smirk, watching him flick through each one as you palm your round stomach.

You just saw Duck for the second time. The last time, Freya was kind enough to mention, before they’re tearing you in two. Sorry, she mouthed when your expression dropped, and went back to twisting the probe over your stomach. Silently.

You’re getting better at it, you think. Playing Mom. Like some little game of make-believe, which is only real for as long as you’re looking it square in the eye – attending doctor’s appointments, updating the neighbors on your newest list of symptoms en route to your mailbox.

A little surer on your feet, now that you’ve found a balance to it: taking it as seriously as it warrants, a dry little pill stuck on the cliff of your throat, and making it easier to swallow with humor like water, a huge gulp anytime the fear claws its way up your spine.

And no more panic, since at least before Christmas. Only a little flustered this afternoon when Freya asked if you wanted to know the sex.

It felt too big a thing to hear, too real. You’re only just getting used to the backache and the bleeding gums. (And why didn’t you know that your gums would bleed? Isn’t that something they should fucking warn you about? Congrats, you’re pregnant: prepare for blood seeping from your jaw.)

No. No, thanks. Your head shot around to Joel. No, right?

He shrugged. Makes no difference to me.

Are you sure?

I’m sure, kid. Promise.

‘cause we can find out. I mean – if you want to.

He rocked forward on the balls of his feet, tapping you amiably on the shoulder. I don’t. You’re good.

You don’t?

No, I – He sighed, a hand dragging through his hair. If you want to, I want to. If you don’t, I don’t. Alright?

Freya bit back a laugh, the closed fist over her lips doing little to hide it. You guys should write a book on co-parenting.

But then she left the room again, closed the door on that same old little bubble – the three of you perched on the bed, you and Joel blinking up at the grains of your child onscreen – and you cried. Again. More.

Everything clearer, everything even more human than before: the globe of their skull, the tiny slope of their nose. All glowing in the dark waves of your womb, twinkling like the most beautiful constellation you could ever come across. Their ankles were crossed, feet forming a tiny heart shape in the top corner of the sonogram. Your hand lifted to point it out to Joel, and before the words found voice, you choked and broke down again.

He held you, lips to your hair, body solid as a rock as you melted into him in waves of salty tears. Smiled that honey-glazed smile and said he was so proud of you, said, look what your body’s doin’, darlin’, look what you’re growin’ – which only made you weep more.

And you pretended not to wait for it – for the moment when you might tilt your head up and your lips might line with his, and he might close the achy space between you again, might shush your cries by stealing the air from your lungs and the beat from your heart.

But he didn’t.

Which is fine.

Right?

“Somethin’ on your mind, kid?” he asks now, eyes still glued to the sea of hearts.

Your stare snaps from him instantly, unaware it was even held there. You tug on the hem of your sweater and pull the sleeves over your hands, mumbling, “Fine, I’m – I’m just…Come on, man. I’m hungry. I didn’t eat lunch today.”

“’n whose fault is that?”

You glower at him. “How considerate,” you seethe, “Vanessa’s a fucking lucky woman, you know that?”

He ignores you, a dumb smile on his face. The usual. “Let’s leave one for ‘em.”

A hot temper begins to boil below the surface of your skin, squeezing between your teeth in a fist-swinging breath. Also the usual these days, apparently. “For who?”

“Duckie. Somethin’ to mark the second scan. Last time we see them, before –”

Your hand flies up, eyes closing with a wince. Shut the fuck up. “Enough. I know.”

Joel hms, still smiling to himself. His beard has grown out a little: thicker, darker, gray sewn through like little whip stitches lining his jaw. He fishes a heart shape from the tub along with a pen, which he twirls annoyingly around his fingers as he thinks.

You sink back against the clinical white wall, an offensively bright color, holding your cheeks up in something of a smile when a nurse wanders past, nodding to both of you. Your face drops back to a scowl as soon as she’s over Joel’s shoulder, and your eyes meet his again – his brows raised, expectant.

“What?” you ask, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

He holds the slip up. “What we gonna write?”

And whatever charm the moment may have held, withers instantly. You throw your arms up petulantly. “You wanted to do it! Pick something. See you soon, or something, I don’t fucking know.”

“I don’t fucking know,” Joel muses, creases by his eyes when he smirks. “Poignant.”

“That’s what you should write,” you step closer, shoving your shoulder into his as you study the trembling hearts on the board, “if you can spell poignant, write that.”

“Hilarious,” he mutters, bending to scribble onto the shape, shielding his work from your view when you hang around his shoulder to pry. Cupping over the message until he’s straightening up, tossing the pen back to the desk, stealing a pin from the tub.

“Let me read,” you protest, tugging on his flannel sleeve.

“I will,” he says, shaking you off. “Patience, darlin’.”

Joel turns to the wall and pins the heart higher than the rest, in a spot clear of its own on the corkboard – thick arms stretching higher higher higher and pulling your gaze with them. As he steps back, he takes you gently by the waist and positions you in front of his body, your shoulders brushing against his chest. Your ribs hold your heart back from hammering into his.

You push up onto your tiptoes and squint at the note, which quivers when the hospital doors pull open again. “Mom and…Mom and Dad f…You fucking…”

Joel dodges your batting arm, snickering with you as he turns to make for the exit. “You don’t like it?” he tosses over his shoulder.

The heart stares down at you, black ink carved into the paper, watching as you turn and hurry after him, giggling. “Mom and Dad fuckin love you? So much for my potty mouth. And the –” another wheezing laugh you’d otherwise be ashamed to let him hear, “– the drawing? It looks – it looks more like a giraffe than a duck. Or, like, you know those long-necked dinosaurs?”

Joel’s head tips back, his own laughter caught up by the breeze when you wander outside, slipping your wrist around the crook of his elbow. Something infectious about it, something which stirs your own laughter until you’re walking arm in arm to the truck with a man who, six months ago, you’d barely look at twice over the fence.

The blind rage bubbling from your empty stomach seems to dissipate, dwindled to nothing in the face of that same man – his swollen cheeks and crows-feet eyes. And you say, “You’re disgustingly sentimental, you know that? Like, sickening.”

And Joel smirks, the way he always fucking does, and says, “You love it. Can’t lie to me.”

“I love it,” you concede, nudging into him as he opens the door for you.

The drive home is quiet, but not uncomfortable. There’s another thing you’re getting good at: being around Joel without need for snide remarks, without feeling your tongue curl under the weight of some snappy quip, loaded and aimed. Being around him and talking about Duck, asking how Tommy and Maria are. Forcing your teeth and tongue to carve out words which ask how Vanessa is, what she’s up to, when he’s seeing her next.

None of this is ideal, that’s for sure. Joel’s girlfriend aside, you’ve spent the last five months cohabiting your body with a stranger who lives most peacefully in the eye of a raging tornado of hormones – flitting between fits of giggles and pulsating joy in your veins, to waves of tears and an anger so hot beneath your skin that you wonder if your emotions might dry up completely by the time this is all through.

It's tough. It’s scary. And some nights you lie in bed, alone, wet eyes fixed on nothing, waiting for someone to burst into the room and announce that it’s all a prank. Just a silly joke. You and Joel can go back to tossing newspapers and casting glowers.

But for now, sat in the passenger seat of his truck – the seatbelt warped around the curve of your belly, the Eagles lilting softly from the radio – it feels like you’re making a home out of that tornado, too. Feeling the swirling walls of wind toss your hair like the breeze through the truck window; the chilled caress of the evening around your outstretched arm, soaring down the highway.

Yeah, you think. I can make something outta this.

“You know what I’m craving?”

Joel’s watching the light, waiting for green. “What’s that?”

“A fucking bagel. Cream cheese, pastrami,” you groan.

He snorts, cringing when he adds, “Pickles?”

A moan tears from the base of your throat, head lolling against your seat. “I could orgasm just thinking about it.”

The light turns, and Joel swings right. “I’d rather you didn’t,” he mutters, turning the wheel with one palm. “I got bagels back at the house, if you want one.”

You stare at him, jaw loose, saliva pooling behind your bottom lip. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

He smiles, shaking his head. “Let me make you one, ‘fore you go home. Big day, ‘n all.”

And you hate it – hate the way your cheeks fill with a genuine happiness, something swollen and achy, impossible to ignore when it lifts your eyes and hurts your teeth. Appreciation, or admiration, perhaps, that you figure you’ll only ever have for him. You don’t know what the fuck to call it.

So you sum it up into three words. “That’d be nice,” you whisper, and Joel places his hand over your knee, shaking it lightly as he drives on.

It stays there, until he’s pulling into his driveway.

He pushes the front door open and steps back, an arm extended to let you by first. An after you, ma’am, between his lips. And you turn to make some mocking joke, the beginnings of some comment about how gentlemanly he is, when you’re socked square on the nose by a heavy-fisted, bitter scent.

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, stumbling backwards across the threshold and onto the porch again. Your throat constricting around nothing, your tongue twisting, your stomach lurching.

Joel catches you just in time to stop you from falling on your ass. “The hell’s the m–? Oh.”

“Hi!” Vanessa calls from the kitchen, leaning around the doorframe to wave you both in. “Almost ready! Take a seat.”

“V–? Hey, sweetheart?” Joel calls back, one hand around your wrist and the other between your shoulders. “What – what’s cookin’?”

She pauses, glancing back at the stove. Pulls the dish towel between her hands taut. “I…I made pasta.”

“Yeah, what kind, sweet?”

“…Bolognese.”

He can’t cover his own sigh quick enough. Thick with something which feels like anger. “Shit,” he turns back to you, “I am so sorry.”

You pull in a deep, unsteady breath, your lungs struggling to separate night air from tomato juice. A weight rolling at the bottom of your stomach, your entire body beginning to tremble with it. “I feel like I’m gonna – Joel, I’m gonna –”

“Breathe,” he whispers, voice urgent, palm slipping to cup your jaw. “Just breathe for me.”

But your throat’s tightening, swallowing hard around gags which come stronger and quicker the more you try to fight them down. “I can still fucking smell it –”

Her shadow blocks the stretch of light from the house. A nervous little thing, a timid creature’s shadow stretched wide across the porch floor. “Is…everything okay?”

“It’s – it’s fine,” Joel sighs again, torn between comforting you and letting Vanessa down gently, “it’s just – tomato is one of her…her aversions.” He’s unable to pull his eyes from you, privately asking, “Are you okay?” when Vanessa turns back to the kitchen.

“I didn’t – I didn’t know,” she mumbles, thumbnail between her teeth. “I am so sorry.”

Suddenly, your will not to throw up is overpowered by your will to tell her, “It’s fine,” sucking in a deep, sickly breath before adding, “I’m just gonna – I should go.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Joel says, his teeth guarding the words from his girlfriend.

“I’m gonna clean up in here,” Vanessa points over her shoulder, and you think she must’ve heard him, “get outta your hair. I’m so sorry, again. I would’ve never…”

Joel lets go of you as you stagger backwards, the cold air tearing down your throat to meet the burning acid tickling up your esophagus. “Please don’t apologize,” you lift a weak hand, “how could you have known? I’ll –” another sharp gasp, “– I’ll see you guys around.”

He must say your name, must try once more to pull you back to his side, but the blood’s rushing through your ears, and your heart’s pounding at the back of your tongue, and your stomach’s notching its way up your spine. You make it to your kitchen sink just in time.

He keeps you waiting all of one hour before he’s calling you. Your arm reaches over to your nightstand, fumbling in the dark for your heavy phone, the screen cold against your cheek.

“Mhm?”

“Are you okay?”

Your lungs pull a deep, slow breath. The acid painted across your throat tickles as the air passes by it, an uncomfortable, scratchy feeling.“Mhm.”

“That a lie?”

“Only a little. Is Vanessa okay?”

He takes a second to answer. Lets go of whatever he was going to say with a sigh, replacing it with, “She just left.”

“Is she mad at us?”

Another second. “Just me. Not you.”

You massage the slope below your breasts, the ache in your esophagus throbbing when you move. “Why just you?”

Ruffling, like he’s settling back into his couch. Sinking into the cushion, his body as heavy as yours feels on your mattress. “I should’ve told her you didn’t like tomatoes. ‘cause now I’m a goddamn mind reader. I mean, why the hell wouldn’t my girlfriend be in my house cookin’ a damn pasta dish while I’m out, y’know? Jesus Christ.”

“Joel,” you turn slowly onto your back, bravely waiting for the waves of nausea still lapping around your stomach to turn with you, “it was a nice thing, what she did. She didn’t mean to…She probably thought she was helping.”

“Naw, I know,” he replies, the sharp bite of his words softening again, shrinking under yours. “I don’t care about her and her helping, though, darlin’, I care about y –” He barely catches it in time. “I care about you carrying my child, and I care about making sure you don’t spend your nights fuckin’…throwing up tomato sauce.”

You gulp, neck convulsing. The backwash of bile swallowed back. Your chest floods with a heat of quick panic. “Can we…maybe…not use the word? I just –”

“Sorry, baby. Sorry. This is just – it’s a lot easier if she would just…”

Your eyes close over, a salty sting sweeping behind them. If she would just lay off. Back off. Fuck off. “…but she won’t, Joel. She loves you. ‘n you…”

The words drift off, taken by the tide, swept off into silence. And neither of you bother with trying to retrieve them – you just watch, stood safe on the shoreline, as they fold under the waves of something too big for either of you to acknowledge. Too dark, too dangerous.

So, you say, “I get it,” instead; say, “I get why you’re mad. Just – let’s forget about it, okay? Sorry for…ruining dinner.”

Joel scoffs, that old, pissed-off Joel scoff. You can see his deadened expression on the back of your eyelids. You may as well have just thrown his newspaper to the end of the earth. “You know damn well that you didn’t ruin anything. How you feelin’?”

“Tired. Throat kinda hurts.”

“Still feel like that pastrami bagel?”

“Not really. Sorry. Appetite’s gone.”

“How about a water?”

“I got some here. Thanks.”

“Okay,” Joel sniffs, “how about: you take the hint and let me come over there to see you?”

You giggle, hand over your eyes to mask your expression from the dark. “I hate you. Yeah, come over. Door’s unlocked.”

Date night – six month anniversary or whatever. Call me if you need anything.

And I mean anything. OK?

Your thumbs hover over the two gray messages, an awkward jig as your brain scrambles to offer words back. Where are you guys going? Too interested. Too weird. OK, what if I’m bored? Delete delete delete. Trying too hard. Sure, have a good n–

The ellipsis pops up and you freeze. A stupidly polite swish delivers Joel’s third text.

Boredom counts as anything, by the way.

And the fucker steals another smile from you. You notice it when you look up, clocking yourself in the mirror. Accompanied by a warmth which drips down your spine, swirls around your tummy; a fluttering you’re not sure is Duckie or something else.

Have a good night, Dad, you type back, tossing the phone to the end of your bed when you hit send. Swiping for a pillow, holding it firm to your face. Pressing so deep into the plush that even the linen won’t be able to see your grin.

Joel told you about this six-month anniversary last week. He wasn’t too thrilled about it then, either. Dinner to celebrate six months? A year, fair enough. But six months?

You swallowed your pride, swallowed the same throttling ecstasy which seeped through your pores on New Year’s Eve, on that February evening she cooked– never mind; a desperate desire to tear apart the very notion of Vanessa and her cutesy little date nights and candlelit dinners. I think it’s a fun idea, you said. Y’all should do it.

And Joel listened. Because he always fucking listens to you, these days. Listens when you tell him that you like the watermelon Sour Patch Kids best, and picks them up anytime he’s at the store. Listens to you when you tell him he should move the crib away from the window, in case the streetlights shine on Duck while they sleep.

Listens when you ramble about how sore your feet are, how heavy your belly feels, how there’s a clammy heat lingering under your skin at all times, bubbling and bubbling and never rising to anything more than steam collecting on the underside of your flesh.

Listens when you tell him to go spend time with his girlfriend. And neither of you pay attention to the jealous shadow behind your words, the hesitant quiver behind his.

He replies almost instantly, the ping like a gunshot at the beginning of a race. Pillow slammed into the mattress, body lunging forward.

You too, Mom. Don’t have too much fun without me.

You lock the phone and slide it back under your covers, smiling dumbly.

There’s still a small part of you waiting for the big reveal: none of this is really happening. A dream, maybe, something you’ll wake from with a tiny throbbing headache, a dry mouth and a new reason to avoid your neighbor at all costs.

But it seems that, each time that thought crosses your mind, you’re quicker and quicker to quash it. Realizing each time that what lies ahead – Joel, your baby, this future version of yourself that you’re yet to meet, still just a little out of reach – fills you with more excitement and wonder, than it does fear.

Mom.

It’s not something you ever imagined for yourself. Not someone you ever thought you’d be. And yet, each time you say it out loud, each time you look in the mirror and picture a baby in the crook of your arm, a toddler perched on your hip, a kid stood by your side, tugging on the hem of your shirt – she feels a little closer. A little clearer. She just has to look over her shoulder, notice you waiting. I’m right here, she says. Come find me.

Mom. Mom and Dad.

You imagine Joel right now, sat in some ritzy restaurant with jazz music and stained-glass lamps on every table, ordering Vanessa some glorified lentil soup and slapping his card over the bill before the waiter has a chance to reveal the damage to him. Your lips twist at the thought – her jewels and her long hair and her sweet little smile laced with a smug possession.

And then you slap your own wrists, hissing to yourself to shut the fuck up.

“She’s nice,” you argue out loud, thin air holding no debate. “She’s kind, and I like her. She’s good for him.”

And then the air replies. Good for him, it swirls, but you could do it better.

Your arm lifts, lingering for a beat before batting the thought away.

Three weeks. Three fucking weeks, between pushing yourself out of his embrace in bed, and pulling yourself back into it – armed with a pregnancy test and a chest full of fear. Three weeks of dodging him, of your cheeks bubbling with embarrassment and regret anytime you thought of it; of hoping to God that Alice or Diane or Steve and Kris across the street wouldn’t clairvoyantly know what had transpired that night and corner you on your own front lawn.

A one-night stand. That’s all it was. Two lonely bodies, excitement enough to convince you both that it was a good idea; a fitted suit and a backless dress crumpled together on the floor. Liquid courage lacing it all together.

Three weeks, then, of reminding yourself how it felt: how amazing you were together. Your hand between your legs and Joel’s name between your teeth.

Fuck. If only he knew. Goodforhimgoodforhim she’s so good for him but I’m better.

You did it better. You know you did. The sun was cresting the horizon by the time the two of you stopped. You hauled yourselves down to breakfast and sat at least three people apart, made forced conversation with Maria about the DJ stumbling off with one of her cousins, while the ghostly ache of Joel’s body churned somewhere deep inside you.

It travels through your veins the way that everything does right now: urgent and unforgiving. A need to be dealt with, immediately. Coursing through your body, an arrowhead pointing somewhere you know it shouldn’t. But your hands lift anyway – following it, loosening the waist of your sweatpants and skimming beneath your underwear.

Your body lights at the first touch. The first dip of your middle finger against the plush over your clit. Knees bend, thighs part. You push your underwear down your hips, settling your bottoms loose on your legs. You’re already wet. You’re already there.

Good fucking girl. She’s good but I’m better, right? Take it, baby. Does she take it like I take it? Take it. Can she take you like I did?

Quicker and quicker and quicker, your fingers heavy on your clit. The other hand sifting between your folds, dipping to collect a glimmer of wet. Yeah. Just like that. Do you fuck her like you fucked me? You feel what you do to me? Fuck no, you don’t. You’ve never fucked anyone like you fucked me.

Head back, eyes fluttering closed, lips parting to breathe answers to a man who isn’t here. To a man who, as he dips sourdough into an overpriced soup, sure as hell isn’t thinking about that time he fucked you so good he got you fucking pregnant.

Well. Maybe he is. You are, right?

Voice without body, drawl etched in your memory. Think she can take it all? You hum in amusement, waiting for him to answer his own question. Yeah, she can.

Attagirl. Your legs spread further, knee lifting as you insert two slick-coated fingers. His hands are on your thighs, following the dip of your hips, holding your waist as you guide him back inside. Attagirl. That’s my – Fuck, Joel, you’re so b– That’s my fuckin’ girl. Take it. Touch it. His thumb on your clit – his, not yours. You like that? Yeah, that’s nice, ain’t it?

The flesh of your breasts filling his palms, squeezing and nipping and rolling between. The warmth leaking between your legs: his and yours and fuck, he’s so deep and he’s filling you again and he’s groaning as more dribbles from where he splits your body around his own, holding you still until he’s done. Until he’s empty.

“Joel,” you whine, a third finger pushing in.

Between your hips. Headboard hammering against the wall. The sun hanging loose at the bottom of the sky. Gonna make me come again, baby. Do it. Do something irreversible. Change me forever. Fuck me fuck me fill me and then pull out, push back in with the wet squelch of your come mixing with mine and changing me forever. Making me brand new. Making me yours.

Another moan. Louder. Sharper.

Yours yours yours. All mine? All yours. We’re good at this. I know we are. Who fucks you like this? No one – No one – just you – just me. It’s so big, fuck, but I can take it. Been thinkin’ about this all fuckin’ day, baby. All I do is think about you. All I fucking do – You gonna come for me? – is think about you.

Know you need it. Let ‘em hear you, downstairs.

Fuck, I’m thinking about you. Come home. I need you to come home, need you to –

Fuck me, Joel, I’m –

Good girl.

– fuck me.

Atta fuckin’ girl.

She’s good but I do it so much better.

We’re good at this. ‘s do it again.

She’s not as good as me.

Again? Again.

She’s not as good. She’s no fucking good.

Your walls clamp around your fist, entire body shuddering to a stop. Breath held by something shaped like the hook of his accent, two fingers either side of your throat. The same smirk on his lips that convinced you in the first place. Fuck, baby, fuck me.

“Joel,” you cry out, the sound ripping between your vocal cords, punching against the ceiling and reverberating in your ears. Your body convulses on the mattress, back arching and slackening again. “Fuck, I’m – oh, my –”

Just feel it, baby. Feel me. You got it.

Let go.

Your lungs lurch open again, breath flooding in like waves spilling over the gunwale and rushing down to pool at your feet. A lulling rock to your movements, chest rising and falling like the steady tide. Soothing, coming down. Foam and salt carrying the flotsam away, the jagged glass of his name disappearing to sea again.

And then he’s gone.

And you’re just alone in your bedroom.

Last you checked your phone, now face-down on the carpet at your hip, it was eight p.m. Streetlights on, the sky painted by the pale dregs of daytime.

Now, you lie in near-darkness, blinking up at the ceiling. Hand sifting through a bag of glow-in-the-dark stars, comparing the different sizes, considering where to stick them, and then tossing them back in frustration.

Your front door clicks open, a pause between the sound and his voice.

“Anyone home?” Joel calls, and you lift your wrist as though he can see it from the bottom of the fucking stairs.

“Up here,” you eventually announce, knuckles rubbing your tired eyes until Catherine wheels spatter across your eyelids.

His shadow splits the light from the hallway, the long rectangle crossing over your swollen belly. “The hell are you doin’?” he asks, wandering in.

You lift the bag. “Decorating. The hell are you doin’?”

He pulls your nursing pillow from its temporary home in the crib and tosses it down on the carpet, bending to lift your shoulders and slot it underneath. “Scooch,” he says, groaning as he lays back beside you. He smells like whiskey and cologne. All woody, pine and spice.

“You got a bad back,” you warn him. “You shouldn’t be all the way down here.”

“You’re seven months pregnant,” Joel clicks his teeth, “neither should you.”

“What if you get stuck ‘n can’t get back up?”

Offense pulls his brows together. “What if you do?”

You smile in response, feeling the heat of his shoulder against yours. Sucking the scent of him through your nose. The pair of you exchanging smirks and batting eyelashes, wrapped in the cool darkness of the room. It’s juvenile and intimate.

You’re trying not to think too much about it.

“I can’t fucking figure this out. I put two of the big stars over there,” you point to the far corner of the room, streetlight splintered by the shades on the ceiling, “but it looks stupid having two so close. So, then I thought,” moving your arm to the right, “a cluster of smaller ones, right over the crib. But I couldn’t move the damn thing to climb up, so…I’ve been down here ever since.”

Joel lifts his hand, stopping your train of thought. “Please do not climb on anything, bein’ that you are…with child.” And then, when your eyes roll to meet his, he grins, adding, “Nesting got you good, huh?”

“You should see my kitchen cupboards. Never been tidier.” Your expression dissolves, voice quietens – your most desperate plea since that morning you shook hands on his doorstep. Your broken wardrobes and his lonely wedding invite. “Will you help me?” you ask.

He thinks it over less than once, dragging his gaze from the twirling star in your fingers. A quick shake of his head, like it’s obvious. “’course I will. ‘s what I’m here for.” And then he yawns, lowering a hand absentmindedly to settle on the curve of your stomach; a gentle pat in greeting to Duck.

“How was dinner?”

“Good,” Joel lies.

“Vanessa okay?”

“Good,” again.

“Sorry.”

Joel’s eyes roll, fingers pausing. “Why do you always gotta be sorry for som’?”

You shrug when you realize it’s not a rhetorical question. He’s genuinely asking. “I don’t know. Just tryna be polite. I know you’d probably rather be at home right now, not…deciding where some plastic fuckin’ stars should go.”

“For my kid’s bedroom? For you?” He huffs something shaped like disapproval. “Do me a favor – stop with the sorrys, alright?”

“I’m not even done with the last fucking favor I said I’d do you.” Your eyes flit down to your bump.

He stares blankly. You know there’s a laugh gathering like hot air on a windowpane behind his eyes, threatening to shatter the glass.

“Fine,” you concede, “dickhead.”

“Better.”

You sigh, looking back down at the phosphorescent shape in your hands. Turning it over and over and over, matching the rhythm of his fingers tensing and then untensing on your belly. His fingers, matching the rhythm of your chest rising and falling with breath. The room quiet. The night’s eyes averted, even just for this moment.

“If it’s anything,” Joel says, “I think the stars look alright.”

Another stolen smile. Another defiant show of teeth. You place your hand on top of his: a thankful gesture, an invitation. Something in between.

Joel blinks back at you, his eyes flitting from yours to your lips. The dim light in the room swallowing the two of you whole, secluded in the upstairs of your home. And you think, Kiss me, kiss me kiss me kiss me, and you will the words over your tongue in a ragged breath – hoping that Joel might breathe them in and feel their sharp edges as they absorb into his bloodstream, each cell flipping like the star in your hand and whispering the same two words to him: Kiss her kiss her kiss her.

But right then –

There’s a burst of movement. Under your fingertips. A fluttering, like bubbles popping right below the surface of your skin.

Your eyes snap down at the same time Joel’s do; your fingers separating and hovering over your tummy.

“Did you – did you feel –?”

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Uhuh. Was that –?”

“I don’t know. Was it?”

He takes your hand, pressing it back against your stomach with his on top. Your knuckles safe in the canopy of his palm. Both staring into space as you hold your breath.

“They’re not…they’re not doin’ it, now…”

“Maybe it was just –”

“Wait! Did you feel that?”

A second burst on your womb, a tiny beat on the other side of your bump. A wide grin breaks across your cheeks, a disbelieving laugh escaping.

Joel laughs, too. “Is that – is that the first time they’ve ever –?”

“Yeah,” you sniff, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, “that’s the first I’ve ever felt ‘em, anyways.”

“Wait,” Joel says, lifting his hand and holding a finger up. Just yours on your belly. “They doin’ it?”

Your head shakes.

When he lowers his hand, Duckie kicks again. The two of you lean in to one another, exchanging laughter. You lift your own hand, watching his expression as he waits patiently.

But then his head shakes, too. “Nothing. They’re only doin’ it when it’s both of us.”

“What the fuck?” you laugh, replacing your hand and waiting for the baby drum. “How can they even tell? What the f–?”

You shift your hands around the globe of your bump, pausing every so often to feel for Duck’s movements. A tiny fist punching, or a heel kicking, or an elbow shoving right above your navel in a way that’s bordering on painful, but numbed by the sheer thrill of it.

And for a while, it’s all you do: play tag with your unborn baby, giggling when they respond to your tapping fingers and cooing voices.

Joel sits up, leaning on his elbow to talk to his kid; runs two fingers across your shirt like a pair of legs scaling a cotton covered hill. And he laughs, and you laugh at his laugh, as if he’s a kid himself again – tearing apart gifts on his birthday, gasping and throwing his head back with glee at whatever he uncovers.

“It feel weird?” he asks, glancing up at you.

“So fucking weird,” you tell him.

“Does it hurt?”

“More…ticklish, if anything. Might get kinda annoying, if they start doing it when I’m tryna sleep, or somethin’…”

Joel lowers his jaw to your stomach, whispering, “You know what to do, Duckie. Make your daddy proud.”

You slap his shoulder, muttering, “Asshole.”

“Alright,” he says, splintered by a laugh. He pushes himself to his feet, swiping the bag of stars from your side. “Let’s get these up so you two can get some sleep.”

You groan as he pulls you upright, one last pat on your stomach, looking at you a second too long and a touch too meaningful. Too warm, too inviting.

It’s the calm before the storm, though you’re still stood motionless. Still trying to work out whether the tornado is moving away, or headed directly for you.

At five in the morning, Vanessa’s sister calls her.

“Heart attack,” Joel tells you a few hours later, the rustle of paper crinkling in your ear. The truck hums in the background. He speaks through a mouthful of sandwich. “Her dad always had a condition, but they thought they were managin’ it with medication,” another crinkle, and then, voice even more obscured, “but he got rushed to hospital durin’ the night, and…”

“Poor Vanessa,” you reply, nail drawing shapes on the curve of your bump in attempt to lull Duck into a more relaxed state than the sharp kicks they’re throwing at your ribs. Now big and strong enough to do considerable damage, your voice falters each time they swing. “Is she – son of a bitch – is she okay?”

“Shaken up,” he says, turn signal ticking over his voice. “She’ll be alright. She’s pragmatic like that. Problem is – they’re in Houston. Her whole family. So I guess that’s where the funeral’s gonna be.”

You swing your legs off the couch, heaving your awkward, nine-months-pregnant body to your feet – the irritating scratch of hunger suddenly gnawing at your stomach. “Yeah?” you say, waddling through to the kitchen. “So?”

“So,” Joel takes another bite of sandwich, “she has to – I mean, we have to…go. To Houston.”

“We?” You slot the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you fish out a couple slices of bread.

“Me ‘n Vanessa.”

“Uhuh,” you carve a knife around a jar of peanut butter, “you gotta be there for her.”

Joel sounds a little defensive. “I know. And I am. I’m goin’ to be. ‘s just – I gotta be there for you, too. For – for Duck.”

Your stomach swirls, a fire catching which lights your chest in a trickle of flame.

“You are. You will be. Houston’s only, like, three hours away.”

He sighs.

The turn signal fills the silence between you, between Joel and an appropriate answer. Clicking like the sound of a tennis match, his head spinning between his grief-stricken girlfriend, and the third-trimester mother of his child.

“I’m here,” he says, and you hear the squeal of brakes out front. “Give me a sec.”

The door pushes open as you sink back into the couch, balancing the plate on the planet beneath your breasts. Joel crumples his sandwich paper in his fist and lowers his hand over the back of the couch, scrunching his fingers over your belly as he passes.

“Thought you hated that stuff,” he calls over his shoulder, disappearing into your kitchen.

“I had a craving,” you say, ripping the first bite from your sandwich. “You made me hungry.”

He returns a minute later with a glass of water which he sets down on the coffee table in front of you. He lifts your legs, letting them fall gently in his lap when he collapses into the opposite end of the couch, heels of his palms pressing against his eyes.

You tap his thigh with the ball of your foot and he turns to you, placing a hand over your ankles. A sticky paste of peanut butter and bread between your molars, you ask, “What’shup?”

Joel holds back a smirk at your chipmunk cheeks. “Just – just worried that you…you know, while I’m gone, is all.”

You scoff, gulping. “Come on. I am not gonna go into labor in the, what – two days? How long would you even be gone?”

He seems to wince at the thought, fingers sifting through his hair – a gray sweep sat casually over his left eyebrow; flicks following the curve of his ear towards the hinge of his jaw. “Less than that, if I can help it.”

“Joel.”

He turns to you, saying your name just as deflated in response.

“You have to go.”

He rolls his eyes, thumb and middle finger massaging his temples. Crosses his arms and huffs like a teenager. “Well, I ain’t happy about it.”

You snort, unable to hold it in as you take another bite. “I ‘on’t think Vanesha’sh too happy about it, either, to be honesh wih ya.”

Joel’s jaw slackens, a choked laugh bursting from the back of his throat. He lifts a cushion and swings it in your direction. “Heartless. That’s heartless, you know that? Jesus, baby.”

He leaves on Saturday morning.

You stand on your porch, watching him shove a suitcase into the backseat of his truck, squinting in the sunlight as he stalks across your front yard. Joining you in the shade, he leans into you, shoving you lightly.

“Quit it.” Your hand locking with his, steadying yourself. Something in the back of your mind begging him not to let go.

And as if he can hear the thought: “I can stay. You know I can stay, right?”

“I don’t want you to stay,” you tell him, sweeping the hair from his forehead. “We will be fine. We’ll stay up late, eat junk food and watch TV; I’ll do audio description for Duck…”

He scoffs, glancing across the street.

“…and then you’ll be back home, back to buggin’ the hell out of us. It’ll be Monday before you know it.”

Joel’s jaw tightens. “And what if…?”

“You really think that’s gonna happen? You think your kid’s that much of an asshole?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “Yeah,” he shrugs, tongue in his cheek, “they’re half you.”

“Alright,” you click your teeth, turning away from the simper on his lips, “why don’t you just fuck off to Houston now, asshole?”

“I’ll fuck off, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Uhuh. Here’s hoping you don’t break down, or get a flat, or get struck by lightning, or anything.”

“You’re so funny,” he whispers, leaning closer.

“Hm. Now go.”

His jaw turns, beard grazing your skin. And then his lips; soft and warm, damp when he kisses your cheek. A moment too long. And he doesn’t pull away, doesn’t lean back the way you both know he should. No, he lingers – his lips by your ear, eyes flitting up to the street to make sure nobody sees.

“Joel –”

“I know.”

“We shouldn’t –”

“I know.”

But your arm is hooking around his neck, asking him to do it anyway, and his lips are lowering to yours, submitting to your request, and what’s supposed to be a goodbye kiss lasts at least a few seconds too long for it to mean anything less than a don’t go kiss.

You pull away when you feel the wet dab of his tongue against yours, realizing with an ice-cold shock where you are, and who he is, and what’s happening. Realizing how fucking stupid it’d be for both of you, how catastrophic and terrible the outcome.

A one-night stand.

A one-night stand.

A one-night –

He leans his forehead against yours, nose nuzzling your cheek. “I’ll call you when we get there.”

Your arm loosens, letting him go.

Just – letting him go.

Saturday Night Live ends just after midnight.

You arch your back into the couch, your swollen belly pushing forward. It’s an effort to get to your feet, what with the steady ache in your back all day, the weight on your front, and the fucking human being smushed into every vital organ inside you.

A deep breath feels like it inflates your lungs only halfway, Duck using the bottom half as a fucking ass cushion, and scaling the stairs takes another ten minutes – by the end of which, you’re slumped against the handrail, pausing before making off for your room.

You sink into the mattress, creasing the cool, smooth sheets. Duck stirs inside you, stretches out and throws a right hook against your bladder. You curse under your breath, hoisting yourself back to your feet.

“We gotta sleep, baby,” you hum, swaying back and forth with a hand under your belly. “Shh, ‘s okay. Take your fuckin’ fist outta my bladder, you little asshole.”

Whichever traits of yours and Joel’s have blended into the human cocktail growing in your uterus, you know one thing for certain: this kid has your stubbornness. The weight remains on your bladder, regardless of how much swaying, or pacing, or rubbing, or threatening you do.

You growl, wandering through the upper floor of your house in attempt to shift Duckie, or distract yourself, or, at the very least, tire the two of you out enough to fall asleep.

From the nursery door handle hangs a little wooden star, a tauntingly sleepy smile painted on it. You push the door open with two hesitant fingers, stepping into the still bedroom, the weak wash of streetlight meeting moonlight on the greenish walls.

You suck in a deep breath, floorboards squealing as you take your first step. Over the crib hangs a plastic mobile, soft plush shapes twirling slowly. The matching changing table slotted alongside it, a rocking chair over by the window.

You pad across a fluffy rug and lower yourself into the chair, tilting back and forth on your toes as you glance around one of the two rooms you and Joel have spent the most time in since that October morning bonded you forever. A baby duck ornament perched on a shelf above the dresser, its orange legs dangling. A multi-photo frame Joel’s mom bought you, both scans in the first two slots and the third empty, lying in wait.

Your breathing fragments, struggles, eyes slipping over to the baby clothes hanging in the closet. “You know, little Duckie,” you whisper, rubbing your bump and thinking back to Tommy’s words six months ago, “you are a pretty lucky kid.”

The hooded towel robe on the back of the door, the perfect size for a newborn. The framed prints sat atop the chest of drawers, waiting to be nailed to the wall: a rainbow, a frog, a starry sky.

“You got two houses. Two bedrooms, all to yourself. You got two parents who already love you more ‘n the whole world. And,” you gulp, “you got Vanessa. And she loves you, too.”

You glance down, watching the tiny pulse of movement when the baby stretches in your womb. Your hands scoop them up, as if holding them closer than they already are. As if already cradling them, forcing yourself to feel less alone.

Duck seems to quieten, to still; seems to consider what you’re avoiding. Reads between the lines, hears the words you’re not speaking.

Two of everything, you think, and I barely even had one.

The most evidence you have of being loved by anyone in your life is the house you live in. Four brick walls and three decades’ worth of belongings, more inheritance than memories. But they roll around like marbles – they echo against the walls when they hit them. There’s nothing binding them, no thread of love, or family, or anything real enough to hold it all together.

You’re the only living organ inside a skeleton’s cage. A lonely little heartbeat, making noise for no one to hear.

And that’s the way it has been, at least since you were eight. The absence of warmth and safety isn’t anything new to you – it left the second your parents did. The last scrunch of your mom’s nails on your head, the last kiss of her lips to your plump little cheeks. The passing over to your grandma, like you were cargo, like you were a box to be checked.

Maybe you found some distant flicker of heat in the way Joel looked at you, the day you told him you were pregnant. Maybe you saw the same glimmer of a flame that you used to see in your mom’s eye. The rosy smell of her perfume, the feel of her finger inside five of yours. Maybe, for the first time since you were a kid, you felt safe.

We’re gonna work it out, he said. I’m here. We’re in this together, alright? I am not running out on you.

Together. And yet, now, sat in your child’s nursery – a room built from scratch by Joel’s two hands and strung together by every beat of your heart – you’ve never felt more alone. The same two hands that are wrapped around Vanessa right now, consoling her, wiping her tears away, massaging her shoulders and sweeping her hair from her eyes.

And the same heartbeat which quickens now, fueled by an angry desire, an impulse scratching deep into your flesh to march all the damn way to Houston and tear the pair of them apart. Like he’s yours; like the way he touches you and looks at you and talks to you means anything more than his child growing inside you.

Like it’s you he’s touching and looking at and talking to, and not Duck. Like his attention won’t cease to shine on you, the second this little baby leaves your body.

And then, washing over the scorching hot sand of anger: a foam-lined wave of guilt. Of shame, for wishing for the breakdown of something that clearly makes the two of them happy. That makes Joel…happy.

He doesn’t owe you anything – he was never yours to begin with. Just one drunken night, a mistake until you noticed the two pale lines on the pregnancy test. And by that point, he was already hers again. You had missed him without even knowing it.

You sigh, pushing up from the rocking chair and reaching for a tissue from the changing table. Turning back, giving the room one last teary glance before closing the door, you sniff.

“You’re just…the luckiest little kid who’s ever gonna live.”

At one twenty a.m., cicadas chirping and trees rustling, the low breeze carrying the sounds through your half-open window – your back begins to ache. A blunt, gnawing pain. Feels like your period, and in your doze, you stuff a pillow between your legs and pray you don’t stain the sheets with a show of blood.

The realization comes over you as if that stifling breeze flips to freezing. You slowly come around, eyes peeling open as you think it over twice, then three times, then four. Duck shifts somewhere deep inside you, somewhere you’ve never felt them shift before.

“…No. Not right now, Duck. You gotta give me, like, twenty-four hours. Just – wait until your dad gets ho–”

A blinding pain interrupts you, the moonlit-blue room fading out of focus for half a second before you’re wide awake, clutching the bottom of your spine where you’re sure the kid just tore a fucking hole straight through your uterus.

“You’re a fucking dick,” you whimper, fingers clenching in tight fists around the bedsheets. “You’re a fucking – dick.”

One twenty-three. You go into labor.

[thankyouivy]

Slick Tongue - Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!reader Warnings: SMUT! (18+), oral [f rec], non-con voyeurism? (the team listens in), dryhumping, squirting, overstimulation, dirty talk, begging, HANDS, multiple orgasms, fluff! Summary: Instead of going out with the team for drinks after a stressful week, the only thing he wants to do is bury his head between your thighs. Notes: a gay and a lesbian attempted to write straight smut: this is that attempt. there is a significant lack of munch!spencer content on here and I am willing to attempt to fix that very serious problem. this is literally just 3k words of Spencer being a munch, enjoy! :]

———

“Reid, are you sure you don't wanna come out with us? I mean, after the last few days we all deserve a little fun time!” the grainy voice of Garcia speaks through the phone as Spencer makes his way into your shared apartment. Spencer chuckles and the ruffle of him taking his coat and shoes off can be heard on Penelope's side of the line. Spencer sets his bag on his desk on the way to your bedroom where he knows you’re waiting for him. “As much as I would like to spend more time with you guys, I have other things I need to atten- …”

You’re lying on your side of the bed, undressed except for the navy blue lingerie set Spencer bought for you in LA when the team flew there for a case, and one of his button up work shirts. This one is light blue and it complements the navy blue of your lacy bra and thong peeking out through the half-unbuttoned shirt. You look up from the book you have in your hand, and smile as you sip your red wine, and then place the glass on the bedside table. Spencer is just standing in the doorway and manages to get out a breathy “Hi,” before Garcia seems to snap him out of the trance he's in. He blinks a few times and looks around for a second before remembering where his coworkers' voice is coming from.

“Reid? Reiddddd??? Are you still there?” She says as he lifts the phone back to his ear. “What? Yeah, I’m still here. What- what is it?”

You giggle at him. Despite being one of the smartest people in the BAU, all of his concentration and genius goes out the window when it comes to you, it seems. Spencer can tell Garica is saying something to him, but he can’t really tell what it is that she’s talking about. “Hey, Garcia- I’m- um I’ve got to go- no it's- nothing wrong! I just have to- I- I’ll see you tomorrow, have fun at.. wherever- bye.” He stammers out quickly, and shuts off his phone and throws it onto the bedside table as he makes his way over to the bed.

It seems in Spencer's delusional state of mind, clouded by the nakedness of his girlfriend, he has forgotten that when you turn your phone off, the call you are on does not automatically hang up, unknowingly leaving Garcia and the rest of the team to listen in on the escapades that follow:

“Hi, baby,” You greet him happily as Spencer reaches your side of the bed and leans down to place a passionate kiss on your lips. “God, I missed you,” he mumbles into your mouth and you smile and hum in agreement into the kiss, running your fingers through his soft fluffy hair.

His mouth moves from your lips to your jaw, placing kisses along the edge of your face to your ear, and then down to your neck where he begins marking you up. You giggle happily as he works on his task.

He pulls away from the kiss momentarily to run his eyes over your body once more. You look absolutely delectable in this set, it's one of his favorites. He bites his lip and runs his hands over your sides and down to your hips. He leans back in to kiss you all while he makes quick work of your bra, unclasping the back and pulling it off as you work on taking off your shirt, it falls off of your shoulders gently revealing your gorgeous bare tits.

You bite your lip and the blush from your cheeks makes its way down the rest of your body, and Spencer groans at the sight of you. “Fuck, you look so good, baby… but in order for me to have any fun, these need to come off…” He says darkly, as his pointer finger slips its way under the strap of your thong and he places kisses along your collarbone.

You gasp as he grips your hips and slides you to the edge of the bed, dropping down to his knees immediately, and making quick work of taking his own shirt off, leaving him in only his work pants. You let him pull your panties down your thighs and off your legs slowly, already panting hard as he watches you open your pretty legs for him, giving him the perfect view of your tiny bare pussy and completely naked body.

“Fuck…” he says breathily as he licks his lips, obviously salivating. “Please baby…I wanna taste you so bad… been thinking about it for days…” He begs on his knees, and you moan at his words. He looks exhausted but eager, and that combination of things usually only means one thing; "Bad day?" you ask as he grabs the underside of your left thigh and places it over his shoulder, "Terrible."

You lace your fingers through his soft hair, and watch as he closes his eyes, tilting his head to the side to give the inside of your thigh an open-mouth kiss.

"Mmmm.. I’m sorry work was bad baby…Y'can tell me everything after you make me cum, yeah?" and then he's groaning, "Fuck yes," nodding his head and sighing happily, before surging forwards and lapping at your cunt as if its the one thing he wanted to do all day.

Immediately your hips arch off of the bed as his lips press against your folds. "Fuck, Spence," you gasp, he parts his lips before dragging his tongue up your centre, circling the tip around your clit, "oh my god," you moan, fingers tangling into his hair to hold him there. This spurs Spencer on further, his body pushes further between your legs, his hands holding your legs apart while he starts to moan into you. “Tastes so fucking good, baby.” He mutters and licks his lips, before licking at your clit softly.

Your view is obscene. Spencer's large veiny hands are gripping your plush thighs, making his arms muscles flex as he holds them open. His gorgeous sharp jaw moves in a steady rhythm, his long hair falling in front of his face as his dark eyes look up at you, completely focused on pleasing you.

Your body feels like it’s on fire. It feels like too much and not enough at the same time. You shut your eyes and tilt your head back as his tongue runs over your pussy over and over again. “Fuck! Spencer, that feels so good!” You gasp out. You can feel his smile against you as Spencer sucks hard on your clit, vulgar noises fill the room as he leans into you, one hand around your hip holding you down and the other pressing against your abdomen. His nose rubs against your clit as he mouths at your opening, and that sends you over the edge. You cum hard and with no warning, letting out a yelp followed by a string of loud moans. Spencer groans against you as he licks you through it, the vibrations just adding to the intensity of your orgasm.

He kisses your thighs when he's done licking up your arousal to help you come down from your sudden high, and then stands to maneuver you onto the bed properly. “You know, the tongue is one of the strongest muscles in the body…and although cunnilingus isn’t the intended purpose of the genioglossus, styloglossus, and hyoglossus muscles, they really do make it easy for me to make you cum.” He speaks as he positions you up against the pillows so you have a clear view of him, and places a pillow underneath your hips to get better leverage. “Speaking of cumming, did you know the average woman can orgasm up 5 times per session? So if you think I’m stopping at one… you must be out of your mind, sugar.” He licks his lips.

Without giving you a chance to reply, he delves back into you, his tongue lapping over you slowly, suckling over your clit which has you shuddering instantly, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. Suddenly you feel his fingers tease at you, you gasp, then whimper with want, desperate for his long fingers to fill you. Without warning he presses two fingers into you easily with the aid of your cum-slicked opening. His gaze traveling up your body as you cry out and clench around him "fuck, baby, so fucking tight and desperate for me, huh?" Spencer mumbles.

He has you panting and whining whilst throwing your head back in no time. Your nails dig into his scalp, hips grinding slowly against his face and fingers as heat starts to form in the pits of your stomach. His fingers fill and stretch you in the best way possible as he works you open. Your orgasm builds again, embarrassingly fast, thighs shaking, back arching away from the bed while he plays with your body.

"Oh, fuck, i'm gonna- I'm gonna cum, baby" you cry out, letting your thighs close around Spencer's body, you feel him smirk against you as he lifts off you momentarily to mutter out a little “yeah? Gonna cum?”

"Mhm! fuck- Ungh- oh god!" you choke out in between your moans, stomach clenching underneath his hand as he doubles down, fingers speeding up slightly and his own moans sending vibrating pleasure straight up your body, "th- fuck, there, stay there,” he makes you babble, gripping his hair as you keep him where you need him. Spencer is revelling in the way his motions pull a string of pretty sounds from you; a mix of moans, whines and whimpers because words are failing to express how fucking amazing you feel.

“Doing so good, sugar" He groans, the heel of his hand pressed into your pelvis, the pressure making you clench around him. "So good," he groans as loud moans spill from your open mouth.

Spencer pulls his fingers out of you but before you can protest he's sliding them straight back in at a slightly different angle, hitting the exact spot you need him to. "Please," is all you can manage as the air gets punched from your lungs by a scream when he starts pressing and rubbing hard over it, knowing how close you are to your orgasm.

Your boyfriend watches your stomach tensing and he feels your knees trembling at his sides, your pussy walls fluttering around his fingers and clit pulsing on this tongue as he flattens it against you, “uh huh, come on, baby," he starts, fully aware of what his words do to you. "So close, I know..." He pauses when you interrupt with a high pitched whine, "cmon, cum for me," he finishes, moving his mouth to suck on your clit and curl his fingers inside you, and it sends you over the edge, your back arches away from the mattress, somehow pushing Spencers long, thick fingers into you even further, and you're done for.

Your cunt floods, wetness gushing from you and soaking the sheets beneath you. "Don't stop," you sob.

Spencer moans loudly as he continues his attack on your cunt with his mouth, greedily trying to lick up everything you’re giving him.

This time, he doesn’t give you a chance to breathe, keeping a steady rhythm of his fingers and mouth as he attempts to get you to squirt again. You loudly whimper and try to squirm away from his grip and relentless stimulation on your poor, swollen, fucked out pussy, but to no avail. He doesnt let up as he pushes your hips down harder, and all you can do is let out pathetic little cries and whines as he overstimulates you.

“I- I can’t again-” you cry out at him. It's all too much; his fingers inside you, the heel of his hand pressing into your folds, his lips and tongue toying with your clit, his free hand exploring your body, the stimulation is making your brain short circuit. He pulls his mouth away from you for a second, “yes you can. Just one more for me, sugar, yeah?” He pants, and then resumes his work when you let out a broken cry.

Spencer feels like he's harder than he's ever been in his life. The sounds you're making, the way you taste, the way you're trembling under his ministrations just spur him on more. The only thing on his mind is how he wants to make you squirt again, the very thought of it makes him lightheaded as he doubles his efforts.

In your haze of overstimulation, you can feel the bed rocking at a steady pace, and you realize Spencer is humping the bed. The thought of him getting himself off on the sheets below him, because eating you out is something he does for his own pleasure and not yours, goes straight to your core and your hips spasm upwards into his mouth.

“Spencer!” you moan, “I’m gonna- fuck-” one of your hands tangled in his curly locks, a silent plea for him to stay where he is as you grind your hips sporadically against his tongue. “Cum on my face, baby.” You could feel his smirk on you, and how it grew when your hips started to hump his face as he increases his pace.

"Uh huh, cum on my tongue," he hums against you, and that sends you hurtling over the edge for the final time. You come harder than before, you let out a scream as your body shakes and your thighs close around Spencer's head, trapping him there while your entire body spasms, eyes clamped shut.

His thumb presses and flicks against your clit as he eats you, and you're sure you black out, thighs practically vibrating from the intensity as your body releases even more cum than last time.

"Oh my god, baby," you barely hear Spencer over the pounding in your ears as your body continues to convulse and spurt liquid. His fingers move at an inhuman pace, desperately trying to milk as much cum from you as he possibly can, and all you can do is scream. When he is convinced you can't give him anymore, he gives one final lick through your folds and slips his head away from you.

Spencer looks incredible, his hair tousled and messy, the bottom half of his face completely soaked with your slick and his cheeks red as he catches his own breath and licks you off his lips. Gently, he slips his fingers from your body moaning softly to himself when your pussy squelches from the mix of ejaculate and his saliva. Strings of your slick connect his fingers together as he spreads them apart. "Were so fucking good for me,” He moans. Looking right at you, he slides those fingers onto his tongue, lips curling around them as he sucks you off them and hums at the taste, “so fucking good”.

After giving your hip a kiss, he lifts himself off the mattress and heads to the bathroom to wipe his face off and run a bath for the two of you. He comes back to find you still completely fucked out and breathing heavily, your body still twitching. He chuckles at you, completely spent and exhausted. “Want me to carry you, sugar?” he asks softly and you just let out a small ‘mhm’.

He picks you up with ease, holding you up by the bottom of your thighs. one of your arms wraps around his neck and the other grabs his face to kiss him deeply, whining when you taste yourself on his tongue. You can't feel his erection against you, but instead a damp spot on the crotch of his pants, which just makes you whine more, hooking your legs around his hips and burying your face in his neck.

He pets your hair and makes his way into the bathroom with you in his arms, placing you into the bath following close behind after making quick work of his remaining clothes. Your back presses against his chest as you both relax in the warm soapy water.

“So, what happened?” You ask in a sleepy mumble as his hands rub up and down your arms methodically. “Hm?” He mutters, burying his nose in your hair. “What happened at work?” You smile up at him, and he just laughs and places a delicate kiss on your lips.

Back at the BAU, Rossi, Prentiss, Morgan, Garcia, and JJ are still in the bullpen, and not out at the bar. Garica’s phone rests in the center of the roundtable as the entire team stares at it, slack jawed. “Well… now we know how he can talk so much without his jaw hurting.” Rossi says, dumbfounded.

The door to the room opens suddenly, Garcia snatches her phone and hangs up the call, that has now gone silent on Spencer's end, as everyone’s heads snap to Hotch.

“What are you all still doing here?” Hotch asks, receiving five immediate “nothing!”’s as they all scramble to collect their things and rush past him out of the room.

More of my stuff can be found here.

~ Ivy 🪴

[satorusugurugurl]

Buzzed

Summary: Your boyfriend doesn’t drink. He’s a lightweight, never saw the appeal, and, well, it makes him horny.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x FAB!Reader

Warnings: Whiny super whiny Gojo, handjob, public play, Gojo is just buzzed, not drunk consent is key, there are several reasons he doesn't like alcohol

Word Count: 2,307

A/N: this popped into my head at work. The need for Gojo to whimper and whine is intense.

Gojo didn't drink. He had nothing against people who liked to drink; by all means, to each their own. He never liked the taste; he was a lightweight, and he'd rather spend his money on sweets. There, however, was another reason he didn't drink. One that was far too embarrassing to mention.

Whenever Satoru would drink, he'd get horny, like super horny.

So, it was safer for him to avoid alcohol altogether, which was pretty easy. That was until you both went to one of your co-workers' birthday party. You casually conversed with some friends while Gojo headed into the kitchen. He was in search of cake, but he found punch instead. He filled his glass, tentatively giving it a sip.

It didn't taste like there was alcohol in it, so he drank a full red solo cup. And he was working on his third in the living room when he felt like his blood was on fire. The room was hot, sweltering, and you, god, you looked even hotter. The tight-fitted shirt you wore emphasized the curves of your perfect body and breasts. Your ass looked amazing in your jeans, and your smile was to die for. God, why did you look like a goddess tonight?

There was a certain glow about you that drew him in like a moth to a light. He hummed, resting his chin on your shoulder, his body pressed firmly against your backside. Not only did you look good, but you smelt fucking delectable.

You turned your head, kissing his cheek before turning back to your friends, joining in with their conversation, leaning back into Satoru when you both felt it. The huge and very hard bulge in his pants had you choking on your words as Satoru straightened, glancing at you in sheer panic.

“Toru?” He grimaced at the tone of your voice. “Please tell me that's your phone.”

“It’s not,” he confirmed your fear.

“Can you get outside to the balcony?” A glance over his shoulder confirmed no one was remotely close to his sanctuary.

“Yeah.” His voice was so gravely as his cock twitched in his pants.

“Good, go on. I'll be out in a sec.”

The second Gojo stepped into the cool night air, he groaned, looking down at his pants. What the fuck? Why was he sporting the world's biggest boner of all time? Fuck, he was so hard it hurt. He slowly sank into the dark corner, resting his back against the window where the curtain was still drawn, waiting for you to join him.

A second later, the sliding glass door opened and shut. Gojo’s hands flew towards his crotch, shielding his erection from any prying eyes. When he saw you turn the corner, he released the breath he'd been holding, dropping his hands to his sides. Satoru shut his eyes tight, biting back a pained whine. All you could do was knit your eyebrows together as you watched.

“Satoru? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Nngh, fuck, I don't know.” His cock throbbed hard at the sound of your voice. “I'm so goddamn hard.”

“Aren't you always hard?” The teasing tone in your voice attempted to lighten the mood.

“Yes, but your point is irrelevant. Fuck, I don’t know what happened. I only get surprise boners like this when I drink!”

Satoru was panting as you tilted your head slightly to the side. “But you did. Mina’s punch has a fuck-ton of alcohol in it.” Your boyfriend's face was contorted in pained pleasure and confusion. “People can’t taste the alcohol because of the liter of Lemon-Lime soda and the whole ass pint of sherbet.”

“Fucking fantastic,” Glancing back down at his erection, he sighed in frustration. “I-It’s going to be awhile for this bitch to go down. I’ll stay out here; you go inside and enjoy the party.”

Right now, in this embarrassing moment, Satoru could barely look at you. During the entirety of your relations, Gojo never drank, leaving that up to you if you were in the mood. You understood he particularly wasn’t too keen on drinking; it was his personal preference. Seeing him now, sulking in a corner, chest heaving, cheeks flushed, cock throbbing. It made a little more sense.

Laughter and loud music blared inside the apartment, drawing your attention to the door. Mina’s special punch was getting to everyone, it seemed like. They were so immersed in their current conversations and food would they even notice your absence?

Satoru was in physical pain. His teeth were clenched as he hissed out in frustration. You took notice of his hands, how they twitched, drawing closer to his crotch before pulling away. The man was fighting against every instinct in his buzzed horny brain. You could tell by his expression that he wanted to do nothing more than stroke his fat cock until he came all over his fist. Satoru, however, was also one not to let his lust overtake him.

He wasn’t some horny freak that would pull his dick out and stroke it until he jizzed all over your friend's balcony railing. You, however, weren’t as collected as he was. Seeing your boyfriend's cock twitching in his pants, the tiny wet spot forming over his leaking tip, made you fucking feral.

“I don’t want to go back.” Closing the distance between you, Gojo watched with bated breath as your pretty hands unbuttoned his pants.

“Tsk!” Your boyfriend hissed, crystal blue eyes darting towards the door. “Y-Y/N, what if someone comes out?!”

“I guess you’ll need to stay quiet. That way, if someone does come.” You whispered, your fingers slowly tugging his zipped down. “Can you do that for me?”

Satoru didn’t have time to think of a response because his dick did all the talking for him. It throbbed hard in the confines of his boxers. He whined and watched more pre-cum seep through the fabric of his boxers.

You cooed, running the bed of your thumb over the growing wet spot. “I’ll take that as a yes?” A nod and a tiny whimper was all you needed.

Slowly, you slid your hand down the band of his boxers, immediately coming into contact with his hot cock. His velvety shaft twitched as you tugged his boxers down just enough to free his erection. The tip was a furiously red shade; his slit dribbled pre-cum. Seeing his fat cock this hard has your cunt clenching around nothing.

“Ahh, fuck, fuuuck,” Satoru whispered through a hiss as you wrapped your fingers around his shaft. You slowly stroked your hands up and down. Squeezing it, trying to mimic how your pussy would pulsate around him when he would fuck you. “Y-Y/N~”

Using his pre-cum as lube, you smeared it up and down his length. Watching the pretty tip twitch madly each time you collected your makeshift lubricant. Satoru groaned, eyes half-lidded, watching you, the way you shifted, pressing your thighs together, how you took your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down on it, as you jerked him off.

“I-I’m, haaa, I’m the one g-getting jerked off here. B-But you, holy fuck!” He clamped his hand over his mouth, stifling a moan. Your teasing jerks, changed, your wrist twisting with every move. “Nnngh, f-fuck but y-yo—ooooh shit, you're the one e-enjoying yourself.”

“Of course, I’m enjoying myself. Satoru, I love feeling your dick get hard in my hand. It's so fat, hot, god, it makes me wet.”

Satoru flushed, head tilting back, the veins in his neck straining as he clenched his jaw. He was the one that would normally talk to you like this. Having it turned the other way around, he had his head spinning. The dizziness was so intense your boyfriend tilted his head back before he began thrusting into your tight-fitted fist.

“Fuuck, Haa, ooh fuck sweetheart, feels so good.” you bit back a moan of your own, watching as he ducked your hands, stinks of pre-cum running over your fingers, as he slammed the palm of his Hans against the railing. “D-Dont stop baby~ fuck Y-Y/N don't fuckin’ stop.”

Watching him desperately fuck your hand was so fucking pretty. From the thin sheen of sweat on his beautiful face to the throbbing shaft in your hand, everything about Gojo had panties soaked. Right now, you wanted to drag him out of the cramped apartment and back to your place where you would fuck his brains out.

But getting him through the apartment right now was out of the question.to get what you wanted, you had to get him off first! The faster he came, the faster you'd get to have him inside of you.

“You're doing such a good job, Toru~” Your hand moved faster. “I love feeling your cock sliding into my hand. But I love it so much more when you’re sliding into me, stretching me with your cock.”

Satoru was a hundred present, certain you were responsible for his hot blood and the hazy gaze that lingered over his eyes. You were the source of his buzz, and it had him jerking like a virgin into your first. You tried matching his thrusts with your hand. The whines that left his mouth were all the confirmation you needed to know that it felt good.

“F-Feels so good.” Satoru cried out, head dipping down to watch you jerk him off. “Holy fuck, your hand feels so good.”

“Mmhm~ just think about how good my pussy will feel when I get you home.” A grunt sounded from him. “Yeah~ you like knowing that you’re going to fuck me when we get home~? You going to reward me for helping you~?”

“Y-Yes, p-please don’t stop Y/N, I can feel it coming. God, I’m going to cum so hard.”

Hearing the pleasure that paved his voice had you pressing your thighs together. “Yeah~ are you going to cum~? Do it; I want you to cum, baby~ I want you to feel so good~ Like the good you are.”

“Y/N?” Gojo jerked, his head searching for the source of your voice. “Hey, is Gojo okay?”

Without missing a beat, you pulled Satoru down with your free hand. Your hand pushed the back of his head into the crook of your neck. Gojo didn’t know what you were doing at first, but as your hand left to join the other stroking his throbbing cock, he picked up on what to do. He whimpered and moaned softly into the crook of your neck.

“Oh yeah, he’s just a bit buzzed right now.” You stroked him harder, squeezing his shaft. “He doesn’t like drinking and thought the punch was safe.”

Satoru’s arms wrapped around you, fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt. His breathing whines were hot against your skin as his balls started to clench. He was so close to cumming, his eyes shutting tight, losing himself in the cooling sensation in his abdomen. So close, he was so close.

“Aww, poor guy, did you need anything?”

Gojo needed whoever the fuck this was to get out of here. He whined out your name into your neck. Hot breath having you shifting.”Y//N c-close.” He whispered as softly as he could as you jerked him faster, both hands working in tandem.

“Nope! We’ll be back inside in a second; I gotta get him home.”

“Okay!”

You waited until the door shut when you moaned with him. “Good boy, good boy~” his fingers dug into your back. “Go on, Toru~ cum for me~ give me it all.”

Satoru cried out into your neck in a nearly silent cry. “Y-/N oooh~ god fuck~ holy fuckin’ shit! C-Cummin’ I-I’m cumming.” You suddenly understood why he loved you, scratching up his back when you came around his cock. It felt good, so good, as he spurted thick ropes of cum all over your hand. “Nnngh oh fuck~! Fuck! Fuck!” His whines were shaky and nearly breathless as his cock weakly twitched in your hand. “Y-Y/NN~”

Gently you let go of his softening cock, bring your cum coated hand to your mouth. Satoru watched you closely, his chest heaving as he slowly came down from his high. He had half expectantly thought you were going to wipe his cup off on the inside of his jacket. What he hadn’t been anticipating was for you to flatten your tongue and lick it off. His sensitive cock twitched back to life at the lewd sight.

“Mmm~” You hummed in delight as if you just finished a meal. “So sweet and salty, Satoru~ I wanna taste it first hand when we get home.”

A switch flipped in Satoru’s head, be it post-nut clarity. He grabbed you by the face, turning you so you were pressed against the sliding glass door. The sudden flip had your breath catching in your throat as your boyfriend bent down, pressing his forehead against yours.

“The only one who is doing any sort of tasting when we get home will be me. If you don’t get us out of here fast, I’ll be sampling that soaking cunt right here.”

You didn’t need to be told twice; you dragged Satoru out of the party, shouting out brash goodbyes. Satoru might be buzzed from the punch. But you were buzzed off of him, and you needed to turn that buzz into a love-drunken affair.

[mochinomnoms]

Hello I saw your event and got interested! I was wondering if you could do #24 with Idia (romantic, fluff, and suggestive if possible) with fem!reader?

idia shroud x f!reader [tags] – romantic, fluff, suggestive [wc} – 3, 241 prompt 24: “I'm so happy that you confessed first.” “Why?” “If I had to dig out another hydrangea petal from my teeth, I was gonna lose it.” notes - the only way to write idia is kind pathetic like a wet cat. i love pathetic men a floral inconvenience

According to legend, a Japanese emperor gave blue hydrangeas to the girl he loved, to apologize for neglecting her and to show how much he really cared for her. Their petal shape resembles a beating heart. 

Idia thinks that he was cursed in a past life for doing something awful. Maybe he kidnapped someone’s kid and tried to kill them. Maybe he tried to overthrow the gods and take over himself, but failed miserably. Or maybe, worst of all: broke someone’s limited-edition, vintage Tokyo Mew Mew Ichigo figurine. 

He sure as the underworld that he did something, why else would he be puking up hanahaki flowers like some cringey Canon x Reader fanfic? 

“Big Bro! You really should go to the school infirmary, the petals and stems can cause irritation and damage to the trachea and nasopharynx if not treated properly!”

Ortho was currently hovering over him, fretting like a mother hen over her chick. How ironic, Idia thought as he picked at the petals still in his teeth, it was for the little brother to be caring for the elder. 

“Why do that when I can just have the school delivery bots bring me medicine. Then I won’t have to interact with anyone, I’d literally DIE if anyone saw me like this…”

Especially if the Prefect saw him. The image of her sweet face, and beaming smile…like a scene from a shoujo manga, flooded his mind. He could practically hear her voice, full of concern, asking, “Are you okay, Idia?”

Idia fell into a sneezing fit, petals flying from his mouth and nose as his sneezes continued, one after the other, until he was also thrown into a hoarse, wet-sounding cough. 

“Big Bro! That’s it, you’re going to the nurse!” Ortho, despite being quite small, grabbed Idia by the back of his striped pajama shirt, much like one grabs a wet cat by the scruff of its neck. 

“UUuuuuuuuuuughghuguguguhidonwannaaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHh!” Idia cried out in a whiney, high-pitched tone. 

His brother, perhaps taking pity on his brother, took the shortcut to the infirmary, cutting directly pass the buildings and fields as Idia’s arms and legs loosely flew like cooked spaghetti noodles. Flying through the window that Nurse Goethel often kept open for fresh air, Ortho plopped Idia into a spare bed, who collapsed like a ragdoll into the thin mattress. 

“I’ll go check you in with the Nurse, I’ll be right back, please make yourself comfortable Idia!”

Idia gave a muffled grumble as a response, shoving his face further into the hard surface of the bed with a sense of dread. He could hear Ortho speak with Goethel at her desk. 

Well, he thought, at least she won’t see me looking all gross and lovesick like some normie—

“Idia, oh my god, are you sick?” 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—”

A shrill, ear-splitting shriek left his mouth as the flames of his hair blew up into a blazing hot pink. Idia bolted him, a sharp pain hitting the top of his head as he heard you yelp. As he rubbed the pained spot, Idia noticed that you too were rubbing your chin. Oh Sevens, he hit your chin with his big, stupid head. 

“Ooowwwww, damn Idia, you hit hard…” you hissed, though you gave him a sweet smile in reassurance. 

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have scared you…though why are you covered in flowers?”

Idia froze, debating on whether or not he should open his mouth and potentially say something damning, or just stay quiet and hope you’d just get weirded out and leave. 

“Because he’s an idiot who didn’t come to immediately see me at the first petal cough!” 

The nurse came up to Idia with a disapproving glare, handing you a clipboard and pen before slipping on a clean pair of gloves. 

“Prefect, please check the boxes for every symptom I find. I believe I know what it is, but we need to check all our bases.” 

Idia peeked at you from the corner of his eye as you smiled at him, waving your fingers as the nurse whispered a spell to turn her magic pen into a makeshift flashlight. 

“Now, open up and say ‘ah’ so I can see what those flowers are doing to you.” 

Following her instructions, Idia tried his best to be a cooperative and willing patient, if just to get out of here faster. Unfortunately, your presence only seemed to make it harder to do so, as hydrangea flowers bloomed from the pores of his skin, focusing particularly around his hands and neck. 

The nurse, he’s sure, could also see the magic sparkles forming as a new bouquet formed through his throat and shot up his mouth. She tsked, leaning back to allow Idia to hack out the now decent sized hydrangea bouquet. They were a vibrant blue, much like his hair. 

“Ah, go, go on and let it out.” The nurse waved a hand at Ortho. “Dear, please fetch your brother a cup of the tea I have brewing at my desk. Prefect? Please note that the patient has no evidence of root growth in his throat.”

“Root growth!? Is my brother going to be okay?” Ortho worriedly rushed over, the tea spilling over the rim of the foam cup. “Is it a curse or disease? Is my brother growing a plant in his lungs!?”

“Ortho, you scanned me earlier this week, remember?” Idia hoarsely replied, taking the tea to gingerly sip at it. “Nothing in ‘em, or my stomach ‘cept ramen noods.”

“A WEEK?!” The three of you flinched at the shrill gasp of Goethel, who was glaring daggers at Idia. “Mr. Shroud, you’ve been sick with an unknown flora disease and you didn’t even bother to let the staff know? What if you were contagious!!”

Idia shrank into himself as he whispered, “It’s not like I leave my room…” 

“Bateria or the pollen could’ve gotten into the air vents and infected the rest of your dorm, ugh.” The nurse sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before addressing you. “Miss Y/N, if you mark down the lack of root growth, fever, and magical origin of the flowers, what do you get?”

He watched as you flipped through the clipboard, smile slightly faltering as you read one of the papers. You cleared your face briefly, before smiling politely back at the nurse and Idia.

“Based on everything, it seems that Idia most likely has the flower sickness, also known as the love sickness, petal fever, or, most commonly, hanahaki.”

Idia cringed at the cold, monotone sound of your voice. Now he’d done it. You knew, somehow you knew that he had the biggest, fattest, most twitterpated-full crush on you. No, crush was understated. He had dreams of you, the cringiest, domestic fantasy-based shit where he’d imagine you, waking up in bed with him back at the Island of Woe. You had given him a sleepy smile as you curled into side, naked. With a smile and a kiss to his lips, dream you turned over to hover over him, trailing small kisses and love bites down his body, further and further as you whispered to him, over and over, “I love you, Idia—”

A queasy, dizzying feeling fell over Idia as a particularly painful croup caused him to double over and vomit last night's dinner alongside blue, heart-shaped petals. 

“Idia!”

“Big Brother!”

“Shroud—Prefect, hold his hair back! Ortho, grab the trashcan, I’ll go get some cleaning supplies and new sheets.”

Nurse Goethel barked orders to the other two, who quickly jumped into action. Idia could feel a shiver as he felt your hands softly grasp his flaming hair, fingers grazing his cheek as you tucked his bangs behind his ears. He could barely make out your coos, no doubt comforting him. You must be disgusted seeing him like this, having to care for a sopping wet cat of a man. Ortho was holding the trash can, right on time for Idia to hurl some more flowers and stomach acid. 

“Oh, Idia…you poor thing.” You whispered into his ear, unintentionally causing his body to warm up and a chill go down his spine to settle in his abdomen. He was very aware that if he turned his head to look at you, he’d get a faceful of your chest like some harem isekai protag, the thought making him warm further and his tips pink again. 

“I didn’t realize you were feeling this bad, Idia…” Ortho murmured, guilt in his voice. “I should’ve brought you sooner…”

“N-no…” Idia gravelly replied, wiping his mouth clean. “It’s not your fault Ortho, don’t beat yourself over it.”

Ortho still looked guilty, but nodded in affirmation, glancing at briefly at the Prefect. His gaze flitted between the two, and Idia could briefly see Ortho’s eyes go blank, as they did when searching through his knowledge database.

“Miss Prefect!” Ortho chirped, voice now perky much to Idia’s concern. “May I ask for a spare infirmary shirt for my brother? He must be very uncomfortable in his soiled one!”

Idia was now firmly and acutely aware of your hands still on him, thumb rubbing soothingly into his temple. 

“Oh, of course Ortho.” You moved away, hands hovering for just a moment, as you replied, “They’re in the storage, I’ll be right back!”

Idia watched as you walked away into the infirmary storage. Ortho did as well, waiting until you were out of earshot to excitedly whisper, “Idia! I know it’ll be an easy fix!”

“Huh?” Idia rose an eyebrow at his brother, confusion setting in.

“It’s a love sickness, and you love the Prefect—Idia stop looking at me like that—so if you confess to them, the flowers will go away!”

Idia was still giving Ortho a horrified look, as he continued. 

“Based on the timing of your reactions in correlation with close proximity within the Prefect, along with your increased heart rate at their touch, speech, and glances, and the fact that the Prefect stated on December 15th at 11:18:53 pm that she likes hydrangeas, she is the cause of the sickness. Right?”

“Ortho!’ Idia hissed, grabbing at his brother to shut him up despite Ortho not technically having a mouth. 

“Quiet down, this isn’t some otome game where I can cheat and look online for the right responses. Did you see how she reacted earlier when she found out it was hanahaki, how disappointed she looked? There’s no way Y/N—I mean the Prefect, didn’t connect the dots. 

“But, Big Brother!” Ortho whined, “Based on her heart rate and increased body temperature—”

“No is no, Ortho! It’s not going to be such an easy fix, I’ll just get rejected!”

“Technically speaking—” Idia and Ortho both jumped at the nurse’s voice, who was coming back from storage with clean linens. The Prefect followed with a new shirt.

“—you don’t need your beloved to accept your feelings, just confess them. Though it’s quite rare that it’s not reciprocated.”

The nurse motioned for Idia to get up as the Prefect handed him the shirt. She began taking the sheets off as the nurse addressed the two brothers. 

“Mr. Shroud, if you are insisting on keeping this sickness intact for fear of rejection, then I will have to ask Professor Crewel for some more potent ingredients for your prescription. Little Shroud?”

“Oh, yes Nurse Goethel?” 

“I could use your assistance, please come with me, Miss Y/N will tend to your brother,” She had a smug tone and smirk as she said this, motioning for Ortho to follow. “Mr. Shroud, please have no worry, she makes an excellent student nurse!” 

Idia let out a defeated, low, whiney groan as he moped over behind one of the privacy screens. You remained quiet as you collected the dirty sheets. He could hear Goethel’s footsteps and Ortho’s fans fade away as they left further and further down the hall. Idia yanked his shirt off, slipping the clean one over his head, noting it was a tad bit too small. He grumbled in annoyance as he pulled the shirt down to cover his stomach. 

“Idia?”

“Eeep!” Idia yelped, your voice coming from right behind the screen. “Y-yes?”

“Are you done changing? I can take your shirt to the hamper.”

He hummed in response, peeking his hand from behind the screen with the shirt in hand. As you took the shirt and walked away, Idia slowly moved to look at you. Once he was sure your eyes were firmly ahead (and briefly taking a look at your ass), he launched himself back into bed, the smell of clean linen filling his nose. 

Idia sighed, a faux exhaustion settling into his bones as he sunk into the bed. He tensed as he felt you sit on the edge to this right. 

“Idia?” you hummed as he closed his eyes to focus on the darkness behind them, instead of you worried expression. 

He hummed in response. 

“Nurse Goethel said that the remedy is actually quick and easy, right?”

He hummed again.  

“You’ll just keep coughing hydrangeas until you do something, right?”

“...Yea.” Idia replied in a monotone voice. 

You sighed, a bit in frustration he thinks. “So?”

“...So?”

“Why don’t you?” You stretched out the last vowel with a questioning sound.

“Why don’t I?” Idia mimicked you. 

"Why don't you just confess?"

“Wha?” He yelped, looking at you like you’d grown heads like a hydra. “W-what do y-you mean, confess!? Are you crazy?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “It would help, wouldn’t it? And Nurse Goethel said it’s rare for it to not be reciprocated, so what do you have to lose?”

“First of all, what’s left of my dignity. Second, I’m not some ML in a romance manhwa. And, third!” Idia straightened up to look you in the eyes, a burst of confidence filling his veins in pure frustration and annoyance. “There’s no way that anyone would be interested in some loser like me, so what’s the point—”

“But I like you!”

Silence fell between you two as the realization of your words settled into both your minds. You, with a growing blush and look of embarrassment, and Idia gaping at you like a fish out of water.”

“Huh.”

“I said,” You murmured, twiddling with the ends of your hair. “That I like you. A lot. I think you’re really fun to be around, you’re even though you're shy and kinda geeky, you’re really passionate about the stuff you like. Idia.”

Your hand reached for his, hesitantly like you were afraid you’d burn him. As you laced your fingers together, Idia felt a lump form in his throat. He kept silent though, watching as you smiled shyly. 

“You’re sweet to your brother, and I notice, to me sometimes too. Did you think I wouldn’t notice you coming out to class more often so we could hang? I missed you this week…it was really lonely without you, even with all my friends.”

Still holding his hand, you leaned in closer to his face, looking at him earnestly. Was this real? Did he unlock a secret route with you without noticing? Why did you keep looking at his lips? OMG WAS THIS REAL—

“Idia,” You snapped him out of his thoughts as the distance between you two kept closing. “If the person you like doesn’t return your feelings, then they didn’t deserve you in the first place. I’ll be there to support you, even if you don’t like me the same way, I’ll always care for you as your friend—”

“But it is you.” Idia blurted out. Whether it was due to a mysterious burst of energy or just a slip of the tongue, he didn’t know. 

“W-what! Idia, you don’t have to try and make me feel—” you tried to stutter an excuse, cheeks pink like the fiery tips of his hair. 

“It’s you! I got this cause of you, cause I knew—I thought,” Idia started to ramble, getting up to grab you by the shoulders and shake. “I thought that you couldn’t like some weirdo like me. Are you telling me I could’ve snatched an SSR level kiss scene with you at any time??!!”

It was your turn to be shocked, a bewildered look in your eyes and Idia rapidly spoke, taking little breaths between sentences.

“Do you know what you do to me?? The thoughts, the dreams I have about you? I see you and get all hot and bothered and you’re telling me that I didn’t have to be some maidenless normie this entire time? I could’ve been lockin’ lips and getting my dick we—”

A sharp shriek leaving Idia’s mouth was muffled as you shoved your lips into his, effectively shutting up his rant. He whimpered as you swiped your tongue along his lips, deepening the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Idia, perhaps in the throes of passion, or not wanting to miss out on this once in a lifetime pull, reciprocated, albeit with a nervous hesitation. 

You seemed to approve, pressing your chest against his as your mouth moved against his, tongues dancing and moans being shared between half taken breaths. His hands hovered over you until you let go of his neck to guide his hands and place them over your hips. An arousing moan left your lips as your hands gently pushed his chest. 

Idia’s world slightly shifted as he fell back first into the bed, your hair creating a curtain as you separated from him. A line of shiny spit followed you, breaking as he gasped for breath while you leaned back down to press kisses against his neck, flowering the disappearing hydrangeas. 

He yelped as your teeth scraped a particularly sensitive spot, opening his mouth to blurt out, “I'm so happy that you confessed first.” 

You let out a breathless giggle, turning your head and resting your chin on his neck to look up at him with, he swears on the Star Rouge sequel, hearts in your eyes. “Why?” 

“If I had to dig out another hydrangea petal from my teeth, I was gonna lose it.” Idia chuckled, “I’m sorry you have to deal with such a coward like me.”

“Idia.” You firmly responded, “Don’t. I like you as you are. We’re both young, we have time to grow. I’ll grow with you, if you’ll have me?

Looking down at you, practically on top of him, Idia opened his mouth to tease your softness, and suddenly froze. The mortifying, though wonderful he had to admit, scene was dawning on him as his entire body heated up and turned red. 

“Uuuuuwwwwwahaaahahahahaha—you’reontopofmethere’sagirlontopofmeisthisanewlevelinyourouteIdidn’tprepareforthis—mmmfph!”

You effectively shut him up with another kiss to his lips, smiling as Idia was shocked into silence with a dopy, wobbly smile forming on his lips.

“Relax, Idia, I’ll take the lead on all the romance stuff until you get the hang of it. For now you can be my player two!”

Idia snorted, smirking at you as he teased, “That’s such a cringey thing to say~”

“You say things like that all the time!” 

The two of you shared a soft laugh, unaware of the audience of two at the door watching. Ortho recorded the memory for the wedding he was already planning in his head, while the nurse muttered to herself about wasting time gathering ingredients for a prescription potion she no longer needed. Despite this, she smiled, happy that her little words of encouragement to the Prefect earlier worked. 

[fingertipsmp3]

AHHHHHHHHH

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

ok so, I just had a brain rot about black cat wonwoo with a ginger cat reader and it’s driving me insane-it could be fluffy or smut or both even

I love your posts btw! I always get so excited when I see you on my feed 🥹🫶

tysm for your love🥺

tw: black cat hybrid!wonwoo, ginger cat hybrid!fem!reader, mean dom!wonwoo, bratty reader, manhandling, unprotected sex (pls stay safe), mentions of breeding kink, mentions of house damages - minors dni.

"Y/N, for the love of the Christmas spirit, please stay away from the damn tree."

"But I can't! It's impossible!" You shake the garland in your hands. "Everything is so shiny and glittery and UGH!"

"I swear, ginger cats are everyone's worst nightmare during Christmas." Wonwoo sighs audibly.

"You're a cat as well! Aren't you even a little bit tempted to play around?"

"Yeah, but I prefer to listen to the rational part of my brain."

"And what does it say?"

"It says to stop my rare ginger cat girlfriend from destroying the Christmas tree." He snatches the garland from your hands.

"You're mean! A big black mean cat!" Your words come out with a light growl and your tail smacks against your legs rapidly.

"I'm sorry, darling. But cleaning up after tons of glitter and tree remnants will be hell for the both of us."

"But it will be fun if we both participate!"

"Y/N, you literally hate cleaning up."

"At least I tried." You shrug and sit down next to the base of the tree.

You look at the decorations hanging from the branches and your cat urges, mixing with your impish attitude get the better of you and you start toying with the golden balls.

"Y/N, you better not be playing with the decorations."

"I am not! I just fixed a crooked branch." You feign innocence.

You take a peek from your point of view and notice Wonwoo's shirt riding up just enough to see a part of his abdomen and the faint veins over them, while he's stretched to his full height and decorate the upper parts of the tree.

With one rough tug on the bottom branches, you bring down the entire tree and it falls with a loud sound on the floor, a few decorations cracking.

You are sat on the floor when you look up to Wonwoo, whose ears are flattened on his hair and his tail is flapping

"Oopsie." You grin and you spring on your feet to run away from him.

"Get the fuck back here!" He chases you down all the way to the bedroom and jumps on you to pin you down on the mattress.

"I told you to not mess around with the fucking Christmas tree, kitty." He hisses in your ear.

"And I never listen to you." You giggle underneath him and swish your tail over his crotch.

"Ever the bratty ginger kitty, are you?" He sinks his nails in the fabric of your leggings and tears a large hole in them, exposing your bare cunt.

"Of course you weren't wearing panties - no wonder I could smell your damn cunt from a mile."

"What happened to listening to the rational part of your brain, Wonu?" You tease him by pushing your ass on his clothed bulge.

"It flew out of the window the moment I started dating you." He kicks your legs apart and takes out his half hardened cock, climbing on top of you to mount you.

"Do I have to fuck you senseless in order to make you listen? Hm?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" Wonwoo pushes his dick in your hole until he's balls deep inside you. "So you say that maybe I should fuck your bratty cunt full of my cum until you're with pretty little kittens?"

You purr softly and arch your lower half upwards in satisfaction, slowly fucking yourself on your boyfriend's cock.

"I'll take that as a yes."

[m0nsterqzzz]

word count: 1.9k

- Shorty - 

Clarisse la rue x fem!short!aphrodite!reader

Based on this request!!

summary: when past insecurities of your height come rising back up due to a pack of stupid kids, your girlfriend is there to pick up the pieces.

warnings: small scene of bullying, name calling (just a ton of bullying about being short), kinda oc clarisse i think idk. Kinda shitty cuz i have insane writers blockkkkkkk i honestly may re-write it soon cuz i kinda hate this. just my writing. the request is so cute thoughhhhh. kinda less of protective clarisse and more of soft clar im sorrrryyyyy. yeah i think ima re-write. sorry im ranting.

a/n: okayyyyy this took way to long. Im so sorry dear @cosmopretty!! I broke up with my bf of three years, a ton of stuff happened, but im finally back!! Thank you for requesting and im actually so sorry it took so long! <3

— – — – — – — – —

Being short in a world where height mattered was always an uphill battle for you. Literally. When was the last time you heard a Greek myth about a hero who was short and didn’t get stepped on by the monster they were trying to fight?

The second part didn’t affect you too much though. Not until you were a bit older. When you were just a kid, it was easier, as the only struggle you had was weird delusions of hidouses monsters nobody else could see and bullies that targeted your height.

When a satyr had shown up when you were young and told you that you were in great danger and had to come with him, you’d honestly thought about pulling the fire alarm so that you didn’t get kidnapped. One of the winged beasts only you see crashed through a window and launched at you though, so you’d reluctantly went with him.

That’s how you found yourself at camp half blood, where things like height didn’t matter as much to kids that were a satyrs hoove close to death at any given moment. You’d met kids like you, ones that made you feel less insecure about your height by the way they could easily take down the older kids in sword fights by using their height to their advantage. Then, you met Clarisse.

You’d honestly thought she would bully you, as she had a rep around here for doing that to anyone who dared look at her for too long, but she had seemed to take a liking to you.

She’d only flirted with you at any given chance, and then time flew by, and suddenly you were taking her out on a date after begging Chiron to let you guys go see a movie. You’d never left her side after that, and she never wanted you too.

“Baby.” Clarisse mumbles, keeping her grip on your waist tight when you try to get out of her bed. You’d been cuddling all morning despite her needing to go to training and finish the chores she didn’t do yesterday along with the ones she needs to do today, but she just doesn’t seem to be ready to get up.

You chuckle softly, brushing some hair out of her face which makes her smile a bit. She knows you have to get up and go back to your cabin, though her eyes never fail to make you agree to five more minutes of cuddle time.

So you lay back down, enjoying the peace of her cabin that never really comes unless her siblings are out like they are right now.

After a few minutes you get up despite her many complaints, throwing on her hoodie and brushing your hair in a mirror. Being an aphrodite kid, your looks are important to you, and you’d rather not go outside with bed hair.

Clarisse comes up behind you, chin resting on the top of your head and arms wrapped around your torso. “Hey shorty.” You giggle, leaning back into her before pushing her away when she begins to poke at your side in an attempt to annoy you. She loves your height, never missing a chance to remind you that she’s taller by using your head as a resting point, or towering over you when you talk to her. It makes her smile and it amuses you, so you let it happen.

The fact that it erases your insecurities, even if for just a few minutes, is just a bonus.

Finally you leave her cabin, rushing off to your own and quickly greeting your siblings before you begin getting ready, a permanent blush on your face with the memory of your girlfriend.

After getting ready and packing your bag, you leave your cabin, nodding towards Clarisse in greeting across the green. Today is Friday, which means capture the flag, which means Clarisse’s favorite day. She enjoys these blood fests, and though you do too, nobody- including you- is as crazy and rough about it as your girlfriend.

You and your siblings sit at your table in the dinner hall until Chiron calls out for your cabin, and though you all push eachother out of the way, you end up second to last in the line to get food. You sigh, rolling your eyes at the way Silena sticks her tongue out at you with a smug smile before you lean on the wall and wait for your turn.

Once you’ve got your food, you walk back to your table, though you accidentally run into one of the older kids named Jackson. You try to apologize, but he cuts you off. “Watch where you're walking, hobbit.” You have to admit it makes you a bit upset, but you’ve heard worse, so you just mumble your apology and stumble off.

“Hey shorty! I’m talking to you!” He calls out, followed by some more people giggling as they step up behind you. It sounds gross when they say it, as you're more used to Clarisse calling you that. It doesn’t make you feel warm and flustered when they say it. It just makes you feel small.

You turn around to look at them with a frown of confusion, but it just turns into a plain old frown when you see the way he’s looking at you. The same way all your old bullies would look at you.

Where is Clarisse?

Her cabin still isn’t here, so you're left to just look at him with a scowl. He sees it, and his smug smile only grows.

“Something you wanna say elf? I think Santa needs you back at the factory now.” All his friends laugh, but it’s the worst insult ever, so you just tighten your grip on your tray and glare at him.

“I think you gotta go get back to the kid’s table before Chiron see’s you.” You don’t know why, as that insults as dumb as the others, but it strikes some type of nerve in you and tears prickle at the corners of your eyes. It only eggs on Jackson, because he begins high fives his girlfriend Ashley and tells you to go cry about it like a baby.

“Nobody needs a short hero. You’ll be dead before your little girlfriend can save you.”

You basically cower off to your table, head hung low in shame and picking at your food. Your siblings look worried, especially when their attempts for conversation go completely ignored.

Is Jackson right? Is being short completely a disadvantage?

That night, all though your siblings drag you out of bed for a campfire, one set to celebrate another one of your girlfriends wins in capture the flag, you mostly keep to yourself. You sit on one of the logs, watching with sad eyes as everyone else dances around and cheers for Clarisse.

She's only focused on you though. She watches from across the fire as you wipe away tears, a frown stitched onto her face despite the praise coming from her friends and siblings.

Why are you crying?

Clarisse gets up, ignoring her siblings as she walks over to you and kneels down behind you, resting her chin on your head and her arms securely around your waist. You just squirm out of her grip, and she might even say the frown on your face only deepens.

“What's wrong shorty? Nobody gets to cry on my celebration campfire, especially not you.” She attempts a joke, giving you a small smile as she rubs your bag. You roll your eyes, looking at her with the most serious expression she's ever seen on your face.

“You know my name. My name isn't Shorty.”

Clarisse frowns, biting her bottom lip. You'd been this way when you first got to camp, after years of being bullied, but since then she'd reassured you that nobody cared how tall you are and she in fact loves your height.

But this….it makes it seem almost like you're going back to the olds way. Like you're being bullied again.

“Did someone say something?” She questions after a beat of silence, previous sadness replaced by anger as she scans the crowd like she’s just going to know who said something mean to you by reading their mind.

You shake your head, hiding your face in your hands but still not answering her. Finally you look up, eyes filled with a sadness she would kill to see go away before you nod towards where Jackson is cuddling with his girlfriend over on the lawn.

Clarisse immediately gets up in search of her spear, but you grab her wrist, gently tugging her to sit back down. “No. Please Clar. Don’t make it a big deal.” You basically beg, and her eyes slightly soften before they go back to pure rage.

“No. Nobody gets to be mean to you. Tell me what they said.”

You shake your head fast, hand clasped over your mouth. She tilts her head a bit and you once again shake your head no, knee’s bouncing in nervousness at the way she’s staring at you.

So you spill. You tell her everything they said, how mean they were, how bad it made you feel. And by the end of it, you and your sister have to hide her spear from her and convince her not to go kill Jackson and Ashley.

Clarisse takes a deep breath, cracking her knuckles before she sighs. She’s never been very good at comforting people, more so killing them, but here you are, her girlfriend, crying over something someone you barely even know said about you. She has to figure it out.

“I love the way I can put my chin on your head and hold you tight. Makes me feel like I can protect you even more.” She says quietly, clearing her throat and continuing when you look up with a sniffle. “and….I love that you have to get on your tippy toes to kiss me. It makes me smile. And I-I love when you somehow fit yourself into tiny little spaces. Make’s ambushes in fights a lot funnier when I see the look on the other person's face. And…I think you’re a great fighter. You can take me down ⅘ times when we fight, and I think you could protect me in battle better than anyone could. You’re a good demigod, your height just adds to that.”

By the end of it you can’t help but smile, slightly nudging her with a blush. She nods, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and pulling you close into her chest. She kisses your forehead, lips lingering there for a second before she pulls away to look you in the eyes.

“I love you shorty.”

— – — – — – — – —

Safe to say, by the next morning, news gets around that Jordan and Ashley are resting in the infirmary with matching broken noses and black eyes.

— – — – — – — – —

[sh1-n0bu]

𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔲’𝔰 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 2023!

day 14: sensory deprivation with diluc from genshin impact

warnings: sensory deprivation, blindfold, bondage, mouth gag, handjob, orgasm denial

notes: first time writing abt diluc in smexy way lessgooooo

diluc was never one to get kinky in the bedroom. if anything, your lover preferred soft and slow sex — lazy sex, if you will — with a few bondages or blindfolds thrown in here and there. when had one too many drinks and playing “spill your guts” with kaeya and rosaria, they made a bet in front of you that you can’t ever get diluc to do more than just that.

and what did your drunk ass do? accept the bet of course.

it was a but confusing at first. despite saying that you wanted to take your bedroom experiences with your fiance to the next level, you… also lacked in knowledge of kinks and bdsm. which led you to borrow a book about it from lisa’s library. to which, the ever so smug witch teased you at.

flipping through the guide for kinks book, you came across many things. ones that seemed vanilla and could work to you two. ones that made you cringe. ones that made you literally shut the book, place it down and walk in circles around the room because why would anyone be into being fucked when threatened? aka, fear kink.

to say that the rest of what little innocence you had left had flew out the window would be an understatement.

but after losing so many brain cells and sacrificing your shreds of sanity, you came to a conclusion. ‘sensory deprivation’ — a kink in which you take away your partner’s senses for a moment to heighten their pleasure. sounds simple, sweet and pleasurable. considering diluc was already into bondage, it could work.

now what remained was on how to bring it up to him…

yes, you also lost a lot of brain cells trying to come up with a way to bring up the kink to him. just saying it on a peaceful dinner or lunch would be awkward. during cuddling is basically impossible since your overworked fiance drops dead the moment he feels the warmth of your embrace.

good thing your forgetful self left the book on your nightstand to which your sharp lover had found. just reading the title written on the hardcover book was enough to make the young lord cough and hide the flush of his cheeks. you were not the one to bring up the topic first. your lover, who’s face was burning hotter and hotter by the second, was.

by the time you two finally managed to come to an agreement that yes, you two will try sensory deprivation, the room was already significantly warmer than it was before. a result of your fiance’s vision.

hands tied behind his back, a ball gag placed securely in his mouth and a blindfold over his eyes. in a way, diluc was glad for the blindfold. if he were to ever take a glance of himself in such a compromising position or to meet your eyes, he was sure that he might set something on fire. literally.

he could hear you shuffling around the room. his other senses being temporarily restricted caused his hearing to be more hyper than before. every little breathe, shuffle of the sheets, he heard them all. and it caused his heart to beat faster in his chest, excited, nervous and most definitely aroused judging by his cock standing hard and weeping pre.

the gentle hug with your chest to his back catches him by surprise, jolting slightly in place with a muffled grunt.

“sorry. did i scare you?” you ask, peppering kisses on the freckles littered on his shoulder. he shakes his head ‘no’, wanting to assure you with his words but forgetting the ball gag in his mouth. so, he simply settles on nodding or shaking his head instead.

“can i touch you ‘luc? do you mind?” you ask again, nails grazing against his naval slowly. although you may not have intended it, diluc felt teased by your hand ghosting over his member but never touching it. the red head nods, soft and curly hair locks draping over his back. how he always manages to look so beautiful so effortlessly makes you jealous sometimes.

placing soft kisses on his neck, whispering praises of how he was such a sweet and considerate lover for agreeing to try this new thing together, sweet nothings about how you were the luckiest person on earth for having such a wonderful man for a fiance, you slowly rub his pre over his tip. he was already breathing hard and you hadn’t even started yet.

“mmngh—!” a sharp whine and a startled sound comes from diluc when the cold lube dribbled on his cock, hips twitching in a sharp motion that made him seem like he wanted to get away. but he eventually calmed down and relaxed back into you when you soothed him with more sweet nothings, spreading the lube over his cock gently.

archons, has your hand always felt this good or was it him being pent up? he could no longer focus on your words but only on your hand. your hand that’s wrapped around his member, pumping him slowly. ever so often, your thumb would pay a little bit of extra attention to his tip or the sensitive underside of the tip. each time, without fail, diluc’s muffled moans would get a bit louder.

not so long after, he was completely relaxed in your arms. leaning his back against your chest, spreading his legs open just a little bit more for you each time your hand would slow down. muffled moans and words coming from behind his ball gag, he could feel the tightening in his stomach the more your thumb massaged that one spot under his tip. he was so deeply lost in the feeling, in your hand, in your scent, in your presence that he was desperately trying to fuck himself into your closed fist.

maybe that’s why you wanted to be just a little bit mean to him. the more erratic his hips moved, the more his legs tried to close around your hand before remembering his place and opening his legs wider, the more debauched his sounds got, you knew he was close to coming. and when the damn nearly burst and he could enjoy the blissful feeling of his orgasm washing over himself, you let go of his cock. making the hardened member hit his stomach softly.

“mmngh! unngh!! ghuuck!” the red head lets out a loud, shrill sounding whines. hips twitching in place to try and chase after your hand, chase after that blinding feeling of finally coming on your hand. that feeling that fills his heart and stomach with a fuzzy warm feeling as you coo soft praises into his ear.

in response, you only chuckled softly, placing your hands on the inside of his flexing thighs. that only worsened his whining.

“not yet, honey. i wanna delay it just a little bit, okay?” you coo, hands massaging his inner thighs, naval and around his leaking pitiful cock but never touching it. all he could hope for was for you to be kind on him.

and yes, you definitely won that bet.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: On The Road Again*

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Summary: When you and Joe are put in the back row of a van during a road trip with Sam Hubbard and Nick Bosa, you find yourselves trying to be as quiet and discreet as possible.

Warnings: Smut (Joe has a sex dream, BJ in the back of a car with unsuspecting people inside, sex in a rest stop bathroom.)

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Baby, I Love You

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“we’ll take the third row” - Joe stated mater-of-factly

it was still off-season, just a few weeks before OTA’s were gonna start so Joe and a couple of his close friends decided to take a road trip.

it was going to be Joe, me, Sam Hubbard, Sam’s girlfriend Jess, and Nick Bosa.

it was the old ohio state friend group, and i was familiar with the two boys since joe and i started dating when he was still at ohio state.

sam and joe were lucky enough to end up playing with the same nfl team, while nick ended up in san fran with the niners. before training camp, nick decided he wanted to take this road trip together before him and the boys were back to being opponents.

nick flew down to cincy and was currently staying in sams guest room. he was in charge of renting the car used for the road trip.. but he was the one 30 minutes late.

sam and jess made it to joe and i’s house 15 minutes before 9:30 which is the time we agreed on meeting here.

so here the four of us were, sitting in the living room and watching tv while waiting on nick.

nick said the type of car was a surprise, but that it was a four row van. the last row was being folded down for more room to put our luggage.

since nick was the only one of the three guys not bringing a girl along, he decided he was gonna take the middle row so he could sprawl out and make a bed.

sam said he’d drive while jess was “passenger princess”, so that meant the back row was left for joe and i.

“dear god, where is he?” - joe grumbled

“he’s 30 minutes late but i mean you know how he is joe. he’s gonna show up with some decked out van.” - sam

“i don’t care what it is, i’m just hoping for working AC ” - you

“true that.” - joe

“sam, how is nick so late isn’t he literally coming from your house?” - you

“well yeah, he is… but he slept in. when we were leaving to come here he hadn’t even left to go get the car.” - sam

joe groaned out of annoyance and you let one of your hands fall to the top of his head to play with his hair.

“someone’s impatient” - you laughed

“we’ve been together for six years, you should know that by now.” - joe

“bro you are not one to talk, i dont see an engagement ring on her finger. you’ve been together for six years, you should know she’s the one by now.” - sam joked

“i don’t like being rushed! it’s coming though, i promise baby.” - joe turned to you and gave you a wink before glaring at sam

we all talked for a little while longer until we heard car honks coming from outside the house.

“thank fuck!” - joe shot up off the couch and speed walked over to the door

sam, jess, and i followed behind him and when we made it outside we all stared at the vehicle in shock.

“nick what the literal hell is that?!” - joe yelled

“you like it??” - nick hung out of the window of the van

“absolutely not.” - joe turned around to walk back into the house, but you grabbed his arm before he could and turned him back around.

“it’s an old church van, it’s all they had left since i was late to pick up the one i rented originally so someone else got it.” - nick

“damn it, nick!” - joe

i wrapped one of my arms around his waist and placed my other hand on his chest, trying to calm him down.

“it’s gonna be okay, joe. we don’t need an entire RV.” - you

“i don’t even know if i can fit in the back of that thing y/n!” - joe

“we’ll make ya fit. now please go get our bags from upstairs?” - you

“fine” - joe mumbled, you pecked his lips and said thank you before letting him out of your grasp

when joe was back in the house, sam and nick both let out a sigh of relief.

“if you weren’t around i don’t know how he woulda turned out.” - sam laughed

“yeah for real” - nick

“i try.” - you did a bow jokingly and smiled.

joe returned shortly after. he was rolling his suitcase on the ground while my bags lined both of his arms. talk about hot.

“baby, we’re going for the weekend. not moving in.” - joe mumbled as he walked over to the back of the van where sam was loading the bags up.

“i know that joe! i just need outfit options!” - you

“okay, okay!” - joe laughed

once sam had finally gotten all of my bags off of joes arms and loaded into the trunk, joe looked down at the red marks on his arms from the friction of the bags.

i walked closer to joe and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“my bags bother your arms?” - you

“not at all, just the marks. it’s really nothing to me.” - joe shrugged

“my big strong man” - you smirked before putting your lips on his

joes hands found their places on my hips to pull me against him as our kiss deepened. it was like we were the only people in the world.. until sam cleared his throat.

we pulled away from each other and giggled, joe moved away to try to get the door open and i couldn’t help but laugh when he couldn’t figure it out.

“how the hell do you open this?” - joe

i opened it first try, and he just glared at me before i motioned for him to get in first.

watching joe climb into the van was hilarious. he was a big dude standing 6’4 so he had to practically get on his hands and knees to get into the seat.

“stop laughing at me!” - joe

i had to bite the insides of my cheeks to stop laughing and i climbed in behind him.

i was significantly shorter then joe, so if i bent over i could stay standing inside the van. my luck, i dropped my phone in the floorboard so i had to bend over to get it. joe was getting a real nice view right now.

“fuck” - joe muttered

i knew exactly what got that reaction, but i played dumb.

“you good?” - you

“oh uh yeah.” - joe

when i sat down i noticed that joe was nowhere near comfortable, his knees were practically to his chest and he kept scooting around trying to get comfortable.

“can you not get comfortable?” - you

“no.” - joe sighed

i instructed him to sit sideways, his legs being the entire length of the bench-like seats as i did the same. joes legs were on either side of mine as my feet were on his lap.

“you good now?” - you

“yeah but this fuckin cup holder is like in my back.” - joe

i laughed at how whiny he was being before tossing him a pillow to put behind his back.

“now are you okay? any more complaints?” - you

“aye you’re the one asking! but no, i’m good now.” - joe

a few minutes later, everyone was finally situated and we were on our way to our weekend getaway.

it wasn’t even 20 minutes in and i was already bored. joe had his earbuds in, mouthing the words to whatever song he was listening to while bobbing his head and absentmindedly rubbing my feet with one of his hands.

i stared at him, waiting for him to notice me so he would see that i was bored but when his blue eyes locked with my eyes all he did was give me a small smile.

joe noticed that my face didn’t light up like it usually does when he smiles, so the hand that was on my foot wandered to my shin.

“you bored?” - joe

i nodded and joe chuckled before taking his earbuds out of his ears.

“watcha wanna do?” - joe

he got a shrug in return, and joe reached down for his backpack in the floorboard. he unzipped it and pulled out one of those travel activity booklets you’d do as a kid before handing it to me.

“ooo fun!” - you

“i had to get you one, it reminds me of the first time i went on vacation with you.” - joe

“my parents watched us like hawks!” - you laughed

“we were like 20, that’s what i don’t get.” - joe

“they wanted to make sure we weren’t gonna engage in any adult activity” - you

“didn’t stop us though, remember?” - joe smirked

“joe!” - you laughed

“god that shower sex was amazing.” - joe

“joseph lee! stop!” - you

joe laughed at how flustered i got, while all the rest of the people in the van looked slightly traumatized.

“you guys are disgusting” - nick

“ooo someone’s jealous that i have a girlfriend and he doesn’t.” - joe

“i’m far from jealous. i’m havin plenty of fun being single.” - nick

“sureee” - sam laughed

a few minutes later all the commotion died down and the car was silent.

“wanna help me look for license plates from all the states?” - you smiled up at joe

“yeah sure, come here” - joe

at first i was confused to what he meant but soon enough i moved to sit on his side with my back to his chest, his legs still on either side of mine.

joe immediately put his chin on my shoulder to see what i was looking at, and his arms snaked around my waist.

“love you, y/n” - joe mumbled into your neck

i had to grin at his soft side coming out, he usually wasn’t like this in front of the guys so for him to be so openly affectionate was adorable.

“love you too, joey” - you reached a hand up and patted the side of his head

the next few hours consisted of stopping for food, gas, and bathroom breaks until it eventually fell dark outside.

nick was passed out asleep, sprawled out across the three seats in the middle row of the van. jess was also asleep in the front row passenger seat.

the only noises you could hear were the road sounds and the radio playing in the background.

joe laid down - to the best of his ability with how tall he was - and i rolled over onto my stomach to cuddle into his chest. there were two blankets layered over top of us, our legs entangled under them.

and eventually we fell asleep.

(joe’s pov)

fuck.

when i woke up i immediately checked my phone, the high brightness about blinding me till i turned it down. the screen said it was almost one in the morning.

everyone was awake except for sam, and i could tell i definitely wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep.

i was so damn sweaty. maybe because of the two blankets on top of me.. or the heat radiating off of y/n.. or maybe it was because of the dream i had just had.

the dream being a replay of the insane shower sex y/n and i had over 5 years ago.

i could feel my cock straining against my shorts, but there was literally nothing i could do about it. y/n was asleep, so there goes that… and there was no way i was going to be able to get myself off without waking her up or having a very very awkward interaction with sam if he heard me.

my mind kept drifting off and i thought i was honestly going to bust in my pants, until panic set in when y/n started stirring in her sleep.

“shit” - joe mumbled under his breath, trying to stay as still as possible

“joey? you okay?” - you whispered

“uh. i- yeah” - joe

“you sure? your chest is heaving and your heartbeat is so fast it woke me up.” - you

“i’m sorry, i’m okay..” - joe

“okay then.” - you yawned and moved around to get into a comfortable position.

when y/n was trying to get comfortable, her ass brushed against my hard-on and without thinking a semi quiet groan slipped out of my mouth.

“oh.” - you

“sorry- just go back to sleep, baby.” - joe

by this time my eyes had adjusted to the dark and i could somewhat see her face. she nodded her head no and placed both her hands on my chest once she was fully facing me.

“what’s got ya goin?” - you grinned

“i had a dream.” - joe

“musta been a real good one huh?” - you fully strattled him, making sure to add pressure where it mattered as you started grinding on him.

“fuck..” - joe groaned

“tell me about your dream, joey.” - you continued

“we were uh in the shower..” - joe

“mhm” - your mouth hovered over his neck as you encouraged him to keep going before you started leaving wet-open mouth kisses on his neck.

“you sucked me off.. and then i fucked you.” - joe

“you’d love that right about now, huh?” - you

“so fuckin much, baby.” - joe

“want me to ask sam to find the nearest rest stop?” - you

my eyes left her face for the first time as my eyes adverted to the floorboard. when i turned back to her, i pulled her face down to where i could whisper in her ear.

“i say you get on your knees for me right here, my love.” - joe

“joe.. i’d don’t know..” - you

“don’t worry about it.. for right now just keep grinding on me till i tell you to stop.” - joe

she smiled down at me before connecting our lips and continuing the movements of her hips.

a minute later, i was breathless and needing release.

“ease up babe, imma cum in my pants if you don’t.” - joe nervously chuckled

y/n nodded with a grin on her face as she maneuvered herself off of me and lowered onto her knees in the floor.

“can you see me over the seat?” - you

“no..” - joe

“okay good.” - you motioned for joe to sit normally, now facing you.

she reached up to the band of my shorts, and i barley lifted my hips for her to pull them down.

as soon as i was free from the restraint of my pants, she immediately wrapped her hand around my dick and started pumping.

one of my hands found its way into her hair as the other was covering my mouth.

i wasn’t super loud during sex, but i also wasn’t dead silent either.

after a few more pumps, she released her hand from me and just traced one of the prominent veins on my cock with the tip of her finger. once she was to the head she wiped the precum off of my tip and stuck her finger in her mouth, licking every last bit off.

holy fucking hell was that hot.

the next move she made was retracing the same path up the vein to my tip, this time with her tongue. god, i was really struggling to be quiet.

once her tongue was flat against my tip, she wrapped her lips around me and started taking every awaiting inch into her mouth.

my head was rolling all around in every which way, if sam looked in the rear-view mirror it would be obvious that i was back here getting earth-shattering head.

to try to be more discreet i propped my elbow up on the cup holder that was digging in my back earlier and laid my face in hand to where my fingers covered my mouth. now if i closed my eyes it would just look like i was sleeping.

for the first time i looked down at her, my dick getting even harder at the sight of her already looking up at me. 

she was using one hand to pump what she couldn’t take like she usually would when she sucked me, but after a minute she took it off and tried to test her limits.

now most of my cock was in her mouth, and i can honestly say my head can’t get thrown back any farther. this felt so fucking good.

i wanted to praise her so bad like i always do during activities like this but i knew i couldn’t without letting a groan or moan slip out.

not much longer after that i took my hand out of her hair and placed it on the crown of her head, fluttering my fingers to notify her i was about to cum.

she pulled off completely, licked up the underside off my dick before swirling her tongue around my tip and taking it back in her mouth. that’s what had me cumming down her throat.

y/n pulled off and pumped my erection a few more times before leaning back completely, also trying to regain her breath like i was.

i pulled my shorts back up, a tent still painfully visible and motioned for y/n to sit down next to me.

she happily obliged and leaned her head onto my shoulder, rubbing along my bicep.

“that was fuckin insane. has to be top 3.” - joe

she laughed and used her hand to lace my fingers with hers.

“glad you liked it, baby” - you kissed joes cheek

“but i’m not gonna lie, i don’t know what’s harder. trying to stay quiet during that or my dick right now.” - joe

“you’re still horny after that?” - you giggled

“probably more now than i was before.” - joe

“oh my lord, what do you want?” - you

“you know what i want, baby.” - joe

“what’s that?” - you grinned, playing dumb

i pulled her face towards me to whisper in her ear.

“i need inside you, gorgeous.” - joe pulled his face away after whispering and kissed your cheek

“hey sam? can you find the nearest rest stop? it’s a girl emergency.” - you raised your voice so he could hear you

“oh yeah.” - sam typed something into has phone to start getting directions before announcing it was five minutes away.

(y/n’s pov)

five minutes later, joe and i were climbing over nick and out of the van before scurrying inside the rest stop.

“there’s the family bathroom” - joe pointed, and you went in that direction.

thankfully it wasn’t occupied and once the door was locked, joe’s lips were on mine hard.

joe mumbled “jump” into the kiss so i did, my legs wrapping his waist before he moved across the bathroom and placed me on the counter next to the sink.

my arms were around his neck and his arms were around my waist.

“we gotta be quick so let’s get straight to it.” - joe

“you’re the one in control here, joe.” - you

“i know, i just wanted to tell you what i’m doing before i do it.” - joe smiled sweetly

my heart swooned at his sweet smile and words and i placed a small peck to his forehead before we got down to business.

joe pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the other side of the counter, his boxers and shorts following behind.

now his rough hands were on me, pulling my flowy shorts and undies down.

i watched him pump his cock a few times before lining it up with my entrance and looking up at me with sincere eyes.

“ready?” - joe

i nodded and wrapped my arms back around his neck, putting my lips on his as he entered me.

joe was big, and it took me some time to get used to him- well i really still haven’t fully. he always waited for me to tell him i was ready for him to started moving.

his stare never left my face, and i nodded to tell him that i was ready.

his pace started off fast, i could tell this had been on his mind and he had been waiting for it.

“fuck, joey!” - you moaned when he bottomed out

“you feel so good..” - joe’s head fell back

joe’s thrusts were fast and hard, his quiet moans making the experience even more enjoyable.

“you’re taking me so well, my love.” - joe

“faster.. please baby.” - you

“i got ya” - joe did exactly what you asked

joe let his head fall onto my shoulder, he was feeling so fuckin good and almost couldn’t handle all the pleasure.

“damnit” - joe mumbled into your neck

“im- gonna cum, joe” - you

“i’m right there too.. come on y/n, cum on my cock, baby.” - joe

his words had me moaning embarrassingly loud but it didn’t seem to bother joe. it did the exact opposite actually, i could feel his dick twitch inside me followed by a groan from him.

a few thrusts later i released all over joe, he finished not even 5 seconds after me.

now we sat holding each other, panting.

“that was so good.” - joe

“i cant think straight.” - you

joe laughed and pressed a kiss to my forehead. we sat there for a bit until he pulled out, both of us hissing.

he moved a couple feet away and grabbed paper towels out of the dispenser to clean me up.

aftercare was always my favorite thing about sex with joe, well other than the sex itself. he was the sweetest boy ever, always making sure to clean me up while peppering my face with kisses as he whispered words of praise.

i watched him slip his clothes back on before he moved back over to the counter and took my hips in his hands to help me down. once my feet were flat against the ground he handed me my shorts and undies.

“i love you” - joe pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth

“love you too, sweet boy.” - you slipped your bottoms on before ruffling his hair up and kissing him

joe grabbed one of my hands and we walked out of the bathroom together.

“i’m not gonna lie, i’m kinda hungry now.” - joe

“you’re always hungry, joey. plus that was like a full body workout for you. we can go get snacks at the little shop if you want?” - you

“please?” - joe smiled

“of course, baby.” - you

we walked through the shop hand in hand, joe wasn’t a fan of PDA but it was 1:30 in the morning and he didn’t care who saw him love on his girl.

i grabbed a coke and bag of sour cream & onion chips. when i looked at what joe had grabbed i couldn’t help but role my eyes.

“boy please, a bottle of water and a protein bar?” - you

“i’m on a diet, y/n!” - joe

“joe.. baby, one bag of chips is not gonna derail your entire diet. it’s not gonna make you gain 5 pounds, and honestly i so wouldn’t care if you did.” - you winked, thinking maybe some buttering up would help him let loose

i watched his cheeks turn a shade of pink as he grabbed a bag of doritos and started towards the counter.

either the worker was sleep deprived or just wasn’t a fan of football because she looked over joe completely, she even complemented my bracelet that joe had gotten me for christmas last year.

we thanked her after joe paid and started towards the exit. joe had the bag of goodies in one hand and my hand in the other.

“here we go, on the road again.” - you

“like the willie nelson song!” - joe chuckled at his connection of your words to the song

“you know who willie nelson is?!” - you

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authors note: that was just slightly unhinged. hope you enjoyed! ❤️🫶

[iovesia]

John Wick being your married professor, who uses his position of power to take advantage of you. He makes you come to his house for some “extra tutoring” and his wife is there and she’s so kind to you and you feel so guilty as John takes you to his study. He keeps his hand over your mouth because you need to be quiet. Afterwards, his wife invites you to join them for dinner and you just want to get away but she doesn’t take no for an answer just like her husband. She has no idea what John is doing with his hand under the dining table as you all eat.

(I’m sorry Helen but being John’s dirty little secret got me feeling some kinda way)

STOPPP this is so evil (literally kicking my feet) — ofc john would never do this in canon, but for smut's sake . . .

୨ ˙ ∘ cw.⠀ cheating & infidelity. professor / student relationship. p in v. this got, like, really long lmfao OOPS !

you're mr. wick's top student in his class— or so you thought. you're shocked to find out, that after being a straight-A, rory-gilmore level student your entire life, you seem to be failing mr. wick's class.

mr. wick (fully aware of your desperate need for academic validation) uses this to his advantage. it first started off harmless enough: giving you feedback after class, meeting in his office during his hours. but he wanted more, he needed more.

an hour during the day turned into late night "study" sessions in his office. he's bent you over his mahogany desk, forcing you to read aloud from your textbook while he pounds into you.

"t—the halo effect is a c-cognitive bias— fuck—," you bite hard onto your bottom lip, toes curling at the delicious stretch of mr. wick's cock in your wet cunt. you try to continue reading, but the words fall jumbled from your lips. his rough hands are all over you, caressing and clutching at your sides, pulling you back onto his cock like a ragdoll.

"don't make me tell you to start over, ms [l/n]," he scolds, but you can hear the teasing in his voice. his hands cup the fat of your ass, watching as he disappears in and out of you. "i know you can do better than that."

yes, of course you felt guilty. he's your professor— your married professor. but that guilt quickly flew out the window, when he's shoved the frame picture of him and his wife on his desk to the side, and laid you on top, gently spreading your legs.

soon enough, mr. wick started inviting you back to his home. his place of sanctuary. a sanctuary shared with mrs. wick. who you've managed to completely avoid (and pretend didn't exist) up until this moment.

for once, he was giving you genuine advice on one of your essays when his wife walked in. your heart dropped to your ass and sweat began pooling on your forehead. sure. . technically you weren't doing anything, but the guilt ate away at your heart.

"wow, this is really nice, mrs. wick," you mumble, giving the older woman a polite smile. she grins, insisting you call her 'helen'. her shiny smile and bubbly personality only make bile boil in your throat. she was sweet enough to offer you a home cooked meal, and in return, you're letting her husband finger you under the table.

"john talks a lot about you! he's very impressed with your progress," helen takes a bite of her food, offering sweet words and polite conversation. you nod, biting the inside flesh of your cheek and john's hand crawls up your thigh.

"she was really struggling this year.. but i guess all she needed was an extra hand." his innuendo flies over his oblivious wife's head as his warm fingers slide under your underwear and in between your wet folds.

you were definitely going to hell for this, you think to yourself, biting down on your fork to stop a mewl escaping your lips.

[pieground]

Obey Me! NIGHTBRINGER Opening Video Analysis <informal>

Lucifer and his Brothers

Lucifer had his hands against the window, looking at the sky with his face painted with what I can only guess as nostalgia. It may seem as if he's longing for something but it is more of what happened after the Great Celestial War; that he and his brothers can no longer reach for their father, that the realm was no longer home, and that they lost Lilith along with their other brothers.

The scene tells us what it was like after their fall. Cast away from the place they once called their home, and now, it is a place they can only look upon from a distance. Locked out of Heaven (literally).

The Angels

Luke holds onto Simeon who acts as his guardian, both looking up to the sky through the window.

Now, I think this relates more to the brother's fall from the Celestial Realm and how it was never been the same ever since. They found fault in a place where it was supposed to be "perfect". It has affected everybody and it left a scar that cannot be hidden. I believe there are anger and frustrations in the angels, but that came from love— for Lucifer and his brothers. I believe there are parts in the Obey Me dating game that divulges angels, specifically Michael and Simeon, still feeling mournful about what happened. Luke has said he felt anger towards the brothers because he thinks they do not care about Michael after falling, but he acknowledged that he loves them still. Him holding onto Simeon is just as we all know, him seeking guidance, like asking if what he was feeling was alright, to the seraph who serves as his guardian.

I think Raphael walking here like it's just like the other days tells about him just continuing what he does even after the loss. He's got responsibilities that probably doubled after Lucifer was banished.

Solomon

Here we have Solomon standing in the middle of the rain, palms catching raindrops that only slipped through his fingers.

Now, Lucifer and his brothers (demons) are inside the House of Lamentation, and Simeon, Luke, and Raphael (angels) are in a place that I think was RAD(?). They are sheltered. Limited to where they stand but are sheltered.

Then there is Solomon, a human, who stands with no restrictions around him but has nothing to hold onto. Water just slips right through his hands, it seems to be related to his immortality. He's doomed to lose many things and along with those are people he loved; the curse of eternal life is loneliness.

This scene possibly shows us where humans stand, between heaven and hell.

A dove inside the cage

I thought it was a crow at first but it is actually a dove.

A dove is a symbol of spirituality, hope, and renewal. The scene showed us that the cage was opened and the dove—let us say the divinity, flew away. It tells that Lucifer and his brothers are no longer divine beings and are now not only tainted by their sins but became the very embodiment of them

The scene that followed strengthens the story for we can see Lucifer as a seraph, his hands out to catch the feather (supposedly from the dove), in what seems like an attempt to save the grace that is falling but it was too late for it's already broken. This shows how fragile divinity is especially for an angel.

Barbatos and his ability.

Barbatos most likely knew what was about to happen before the Great Celestial War, he and Diavolo anticipated the fall. If you think about it, it's beneficial for them to have the brothers working along with them as during that time, Devildom was rebuilding itself under Diavolo’s rule. Being an idealist, Diavolo wants to make the three realms acknowledge coexistence in peace. It's been said many times that to achieve his goals, he's willing to sacrifice anything.

PT.2 Here